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#so many fucking memes i'm so sorry
hyacinth-sims · 2 months
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sims 2 premades as memes/texts/posts/etc. (-slides u a note during class- do u still think i'm funny y/n edition)
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aprilblossomgirl · 8 months
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# mood 1 + mood 2 (basically)
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chaotic--pan · 2 years
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imminent-danger-came · 11 months
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Hey guys what if we just slowed down, like. What if we took a breather for a second, couple minutes maybe. Guys what if we-
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ruby-red-inky-blue · 1 year
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✌🏼language ask
favourite proverb/saying from your language
the best ones I can think of rn are low-key mean but very funny:
"da will man nicht tot überm Zaun hängen" ["you wouldn't want to be a corpse hanging over a fence there"]
there is nothing to see or do in that place and it's not nice, don't go there. i.e. "In Bremerhaven will man auch nicht tot überm Zaun hängen" (feel free to @ me, I feel this very strongly about Bremerhaven and you won't change my mind)
"die Radieschen von unten anschauen" ["look at the radishes from below"]
to be dead. i.e. "Der schaut schon seit zehn Jahren die Radieschen von unten an."
"Zwei Dumme, ein Gedanke" ["two idiots, one thought"]
essentially two minds think alike, but vastly superior to what has become of the English saying in my opinion. Strong resemblance to "one braincell" memes, and I love that.
"auf dem Teppich bleiben" ["staying on the carpet"]
this is usually used as an imperative, i.e. "Jetzt bleib mal auf dem Teppich!", to mean something like don't exaggerate
"ein Stein vom Herzen fallen" ["a stone falling off of one's heart"]
a huge relief, i.e. "Da fällt mir ein Stein vom Herzen."
BONUS ROUND for weird in-house sayings in my family:
"Da warst du noch Quark im Schaufenster" ["You were still curd in the shop window then"]
this happened before your time (somehow specifically before you were even conceived? I figure in this metaphor buying the curd is conception and then opening the container when you come home is birth???) This might be a real saying but I've never heard anyone outside of my family use it.
"als du noch ein Frosch gewast" ["when you were still a frog"]
when you were little
This one is fully a family in-joke, it's a reference to Iron Henry, the Frog King's servant from the Grimm fairy tale. Basically when the Frog King is turned back from a frog into a human, his old servant drives him and the princess to the Frog King's castle and there's a loud noise and the Frog King goes:
"Heinrich, der Wagen bricht!" ["Henry, the carriage has broken!"]
and he explains:
"Nein Herr, der Wagen nicht. ["No sire, 'tis not the carriage] Es ist ein Band von meinem Herzen [it was an (iron) bond around my heart] das da lag in großen Schmerzen [that was afflicted with great pain] als Ihr in dem Brunnen saßt [when you were sitting in the well] als Ihr noch ein Frosch gewast" [when you were still a frog."]
So the servant was so sad about his master being turned into a frog that he had to keep his broken heart together with three iron bands, and as they ride home they pop off one after the other. It's a really weird but also oddly sweet part of the fairy tale that always gets left out, probably because poor old Henry is not mentioned at any point before this and then just randomly appears, supposedly super sad about his poor master but apparently not sad enough to keep him company while he was a frog in a well?
Anyway none of this eplains why my mum made this into a saying but she did. Probably because both she and I always found the weird verb at the end of the sentence funny - that's not how you German, at least not in modern time, but it's how the Grimms got the poem to rhyme. [It's also worth noting they absolutely didn't need to make it rhyme, the rest of the fairy tale doesn't...]
language asks
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earthbovndmisfit · 11 months
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if i had a nickel for every time a fave of mine has been some blond gay gay homo gay badass and bad bitch who can be deadly af, is good with handguns, good at close combat, has dozens of dangerous men under his command, has a soft side that he will show only to those few that he wants to show it to, falls deeply in love with the buff brunet bisexual guy who kicked his ass in front of his men, then forms a deep and close bond with said brunet bi guy whose name starts with Jo and develops a Very Ambiguous relationship with him, devotes his life to him and remains loyal to him and him only for the rest of his life, always doing everything in his power and beyond to ensure the wellbeing of his beloved and protect his legacy...
...i would have two nickels, which is not a lot, but it's such a Very Specific combination that its actually weird that it's happened twice
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mecharose · 2 years
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like what is so actually hilarious I genuinely want someone to explain this to me. cuz like yall clearly have a very different perception of the WTC attacks than I do
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buggachat · 11 days
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adrien never went to public school / adrienette have never met AU where Ladynoir are dating but Marinette has beef with Adrien Agreste™ on twitter, spurred by her interest in the fashion industry and her friendship with Mylene. ads are all over the place of Adrien promoting products like air in a bottle and NFTs and just generally so many products that are extremely poor taste/bad for the environment. Marinette tweets about beauty standards in the industry and all the shit Gabriel brand does to the environment and how Adrien Agreste perfectly encapsulates it all.
Adrien, of course, never responds to any of her tweets. her tweets are just white noise in the background. she is nowhere near on his level. one day Marinette tweets out something akin to "if I saw Adrien Agreste irl i'd punch him in the face" and her twitter gets banned for Threats of Violence, Alya draws attention to the injustice of it via the Ladyblog and suddenly "I want to punch Adrien Agreste in the face [gets banned]" becomes a bit of a meme. NOW people know who Marinette is and are listening to what she's saying (on her new account or whatever). Chat Noir also tweets that he wants to punch Adrien in the face
A hashtag trends. Marinette caves and starts tweeting about the scandals of the industry on her Ladybug twitter too. Adrien's twitter and instagram comments are flooded with both threats to punch him but also just generally critical comments like "nice pic and all but are you not going to address the sweatshop allegations?". Adrien still does not address it. At most he turns comments off. Marinette is gnawing at the wood of her desk.
Then a Ladybug and Chat Noir identity reveal happens.
Marinette is stunned. Absolutely mouth agape. Cannot form words. Chat Noi— NO, ADRIEN— ADRIEN FUCKING AGRESTE looks at her and is like "oh ha :) .... Marinette Dupain-Cheng, right? You're the girl who wanted to punch me hahaha"
after recovering from her world being shattered, she's like...... "hahaha...... um............... yeah...... uh..... so you... DO know who i am. and you're just. ignoring it then. hahaha... ok... thats....... fine..... anyway..... u-uh...... im not... gonna actually punch you. but. um. k-kitty do you um. maybe want to stop promoting deforestation and all that"
he's like "I don't"
she's like. "yes you do. literally in your newest ad you said to the camera 'who needs trees when bottled air is the way of the future'. like did you really read that line out loud and not see a problem with it"
"yeah, that wasn't me"
"what are you talking abou—"
"it's deepfaked"
"..... what"
"all of my ads in the past few years are deepfakes. I complained too much so my father fired me. turns out that i signed away all rights to my face and voice to him when I was 13 or something. he can just use my face and voice and name however he wants. he generates ads. i dont even have access to the 'Adrien Agreste' twitter or insta accounts. sometimes he makes me do runways but beyond that I'm not involved in all."
"... ... ... ... ... what"
"yeah haha... :") im sorry. i wish i could help you more. but he never listens to me. i don't like it either, i.... i've asked him to stop sooo many times. but he never listens to me. i hate seeing my face used without my consent but haha.... i don't... have any rights here so. sorry. i really wish i could help more"
and now marinette hates "Adrien Agreste"™ ads/posts EVEN MORE and is threatening to kill Gabriel Agreste himself. all while kissing the real adrien agreste silly
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bomberqueen17 · 1 year
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tone indicators
I reblogged this post without adding any commentary bc queue and not a lot of computer time lately but like okay here's the thing about tone indicators:
they're yet another in-group set of coded speech. like an inside joke, or a meme, or a conlang. if you are in a group that uses them, they're great and perfectly comprehensible.
but if you don't happen to have come from inside a group that uses them, they are exactly as exclusionary as any other heavy jargon or inside joke or acronym. I mean have you ever listened to soldiers talk? The US Army communicates in heavily jargon-ified speech, liberally laden with acronyms, so much so that it's a self-referential joke to make up obscene or deliberately-obfuscated ones to slip into official reports since the sorts of people who'd kick up a fuss about obscene language won't understand them.
It is exactly the same thing. Except that's exclusionary on purpose, and tone indicators are exclusionary in effect but tout themselves as inclusionary.
So if I, an outsider to this, am reading along, and after a sentence, there's a / and then between one and three letters, that is not enough information for me to use to look it up.
This is absolutely inaccessible if you are not alreadhy in the group that uses it.
I wouldn't mind if the people who used them were just like 'oh ha sorry jargon, i'll try to explain if it's not clear, sorry i forget you guys don't know them' just like any other inside joke or meme or whatever.
But I was in a discussion with someone on a Discord and when I was puzzled about them including these weird slash-acronyms after their statements they were like oh how nice for you that you're not neurodivergent and don't need to use these.
Uh no. The opposite actually. I'm the kind of neurodivergent that needs context. I handle being excluded from conversations very poorly. And that's where I get pissed off, that people seem to be holding these up as the new be-all end-all of Finally Solving The Problem Of Ambiguous Tones In Social Interaction. The hell you are, kids. They're just another layer, and I'd say the worst one yet, out of many many many attempts to solve this exact problem. They are fundamentally inaccessible. Don't mistake the fact that you learned them (somewhere, in some context inaccessible to me) for them actually being universal.
Considered against the many different solutions that have been offered since text-only speech was invented, tone indicators stack up as among the very least-accessible of the lot, since they contain so little context in and of themselves-- if a key is not provided then they're totally inaccessible, and are exceptionally difficult for non-native English speakers, and in general require so much memorization or cross-referencing as to be prohibitively hostile to outsiders.
And that's fine, if what your'e doing is just meant for talking to your friends. But don't come into my conversations and berate me for not having memorized whatever incomprehensible set of acronyms you've newly-decided are the new universal truth. And what drives me the most insane is how many of these acronyms someone has now decided to assign a whole new meaning to are acronyms that are well-known and already existed and are in heavy use. So if you try to look them up guess what you get! is it gonna be the newly-created version or the one that's been in use for fifty to seventy-five years??
For one, P.O.S. has had a specific meaning in written and spoken English for a really damn long time and if you call me a piece of shit in the actual language I speak I am absolutely not going to interpret your conlang as having intended something nice. (YES REALLY THEY'RE USING THAT ONE TRY TO GUESS WHAT IT MEANS. NO. NO! I know. Fuck! That's wild. Absolutely the fuck not.)
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kiw4 · 2 years
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not my teacher thinking i can act as the class interpreter when im just in my 2nd year of sign language
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elmhat · 6 months
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DSMP TUMBLR SIMULATOR
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🟩 escapedwarcriminal Follow
On vacation! Check out the fancy hotel :)
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🦆 stabbyduck69 Follow
gufys please mass report this he's trxying to fucking dox me and also kill me pls guys
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❌ god Follow
I just finished writing my latest book! To thank everyone who stuck with me through this process, I'm giving away one copy to a random follower! All you have to do is reblog 😊
#bookblr #writeblr
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🐝 what-if-bees-had-nukes Follow
Anyone know where the boomerville residents went?
🐝 what-if-bees-had-nukes Follow
No one replied so I guess I own their house now
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🥇 dreamsno1traitor Follow
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#I'm actually so sick of these mfs #no joke if I have to spend another day around these people I might kms #one more comment about how "evil" he is and I'm gonna snap #I can't believe I used to be friends with them? #they're so bloodthirsty for no reason #sorry just needed to vent #can't say any more than this or I'll blow my cover #neg
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🧁 the-girl-who-burned-your-tree Follow
New strawberry cake recipe! (Safe for pigs)
Try out this delicious dessert that all the family can enjoy!
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Keep reading
#baking #recipes #I just wanted to make something that my friend can eat too #he has some rather unique dietary requirements
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🐷 bloodforthebloodgod Follow
"average person destroys 1 government a year" factoid actually just statistical error. average person destroys 0 governments per year. technoblade is an outlier and should not have been counted
💿 fuckdream123 Follow
this is so fuckign disrespectful to doomsday survivors take this down you egotesticle fkng prick
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🟩 escapedwarcriminal Follow
@warden-of-the-vault How's idiotville idiot
🟩 escapedwarcriminal Follow
Wait you can't reply cause you're in IDIOTVILLE
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🪶 philzaminecraft Follow
My good friend has entrusted me with looking after his lovely dogs, haha! 😂 Do any of you fine young people have advice for me as to how to take care of this many hungry hounds? 🤔 I look forward to hearing from you.
From Philza Minecraft.
P.S. Please also instruct me as to how to increase the number of messages I receive in response to my questions. This internet website is a tad confusing. I had enough bother attaching the photograph. 😂
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🐷 bloodforthebloodgod Follow
woke up to the dash full of drama again. sigh
🦆 stabbyduck69 Follow
fucking Die
🐷 bloodforthebloodgod Follow
oh so you're the one sending all the anon hate
🦆 stabbyduck69 Follow
i don't send anon hate i'll hate to your fucking face bitch
🦆 stabbyduck69 Follow
please go out with me
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🔱 warden-of-the-vault Follow
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🔥 murdered-yo-fave-pet Follow
But fr guys, as much as we're memeing around in the tags dream is actually out there and he's dangerous. If you see him call me or sam immediately. DON'T fight him. You'll /gen die.
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🐈 antthecatmaid Follow
won't be around for a while, going on vacation!
🐈 antthecatmaid Follow
fuck I'm back fuck fuck fuck
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💿 fuckdream123 Follow
i'm too sad to commit terrorism like what's the fucking point anymore
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🧨 zombiepresident1 Follow
World's First NFT Burgers
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(Ignore the poor photo quality, my good camera got confiscated by authorities)
"An explosion of the senses, and I don't just mean that time the place exploded!" ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
"So much better than Quackity's horrible grimy SHIT FUCKING RESTAURANT" ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
#reviews are all from verified sources #don't look into it #someone blaze this I have no money
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✨ quirky-cake-duper-teleporter Follow
Genuinely fuck dream.
✨ quirky-cake-duper-teleporter Follow
Ignore this I wasn't in my right mind
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🐷 bloodforthebloodgod Follow
The Teletubby and the Pig
Fandom: Original Work Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Characters: Technoblade, Dream (me and my friend) Additional Tags: Pandora's Vault Prison, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort
Summary: idk man I'm bad at summaries, just something I wrote with my friend to pass the time (he was too embarrassed to post it)
284k words so far
-> Read here!
#I actually wrote this a while ago but I wasn't allowed to post it for legal reasons #don't worry though I'm planning to murder the legal reasons soon #writeblr #original fiction
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💍 im-from-the-future Follow
WARNING - PLEASE READ
My murderer showed up at my house today. Police refused to arrest him. I feel sick to my stomach, I don't know where he is or what he's doing, if he comes back I have no way to protect myself. Please stay vigilant and don't trust anyone you don't know.
🥕 catsncarrots Follow
i'm so sorry to hear that karl :( hey what's the new pfp?
💍 im-from-the-future Follow
No idea
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🥚 baddestboi-withahalo Follow
we all accepted the prison way too quickly. there's like no safety measures? are we forgetting someone DIED THERE? and i've literally seen the main cell myself and it's a mess. pretty sure there was some real blood on the walls too. idk just doesn't feel right
🔱 warden-of-the-vault Follow
I'm tired of people reblogging posts like this without checking their sources. There are some obvious red flags here. For starters, op claims they've witnessed the main cell personally, but if you actually check the prison's rules, visits have been banned for several months now [x]. The prison is armed with state of the art security measures, including lava, barriers, and numerous manual searches, to name just a few [x]. Speaking as an authority on the prison myself [x], I can safely confirm that these security measures, as well as the prisoner, are in perfect condition. Don't be so quick to buy into conspiracy theories.
🥚 baddestboi-withahalo Follow
I LITERALLY WORK THERE????
🔱 warden-of-the-vault Follow
Not anymore you don't.
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koolades-world · 3 months
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Here’s a little silly idea I had
MC thinking they’re so funny by making memes and sending them to the group chat with everyone
They send stuff like
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(Not made by me)
And they think it’s the funniest thing ever
Even better if they’re in the human realm and no one can get to them(yet)
I feel like this meme specifically would get a laugh out of Diavolo or at least a chuckle
HI!! omg when I saw your name I was like omg a returner!! thank you for supporting me for a while now and I'm sorry it took me so long to get to this! I always see your name in my activity and gahhh it's so exciting for me to see someone who comes back repetitively!!!
btw love court of darkness, used to play religiously! I really should get back into it bc rio is my love <33 would love to chat about the game if you have time!! my bestie loves lou too
this looks literally so fun to write haha, I already have so many ideas!!
please enjoy :)
Mc who makes memes about everyone
alright first thing first, lucifer is like the parent of the group who first, holds the phone really close to his face and then second, shares that it's not funny, he doesn't get it, or starts giving you a lesson
as long as it's at the expense of someone they dislike (cough lucifer), satan and belphie are on board and will even make some themselves
lucifer would totally hate it if all three of you just sent memes about him instead of responding to him
levi enjoys them so you entire conversation back in forth in dms turns into just sending memes back and forth
solomon understands you the best when it comes to memes and constantly looks over your shoulder while you make them
barbatos also doesn't think the memes are funny when they're at the expense of diavolo, even if diavolo think they're funny
otherwise, he literally does not care and will not respond at all to them
if you want a response, make one about him (and good luck you'll need it)
god that's really funny to think about
barb vs rat meme will get you killed but that's so fucking funny
simeon doesn't really get them, like lucifer, but he's much nicer about it and is like the supportive parent
levi, satan, and belphie contribute to your meme ideas stash the most
levi is the only one who actually makes them regularly though
if you send any about asmo, he posts them to his devilgram
diavolo finds all of them funny and shows them to the little d's like a proud dad
mammon tries to make a market out of them and fails
beel really enjoys the ones you make about him and belphie
if you weren't mc, you'd be dead lol
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lowkeyrobin · 3 months
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MCYT with a reader who would literally get into a fist fight for them?? Literally, if someone even looks at them wrong reader will throw hands. It's literally that meme (Random person) "GET YO FUCKING DOG BITCH" (MCYT) "it don't bite" "YES IT FUCKIN DO-" I'm sorry I'm feeling silly 😔
OH MY FUCKING GOD I LOVE THIS PROMPT AND THE REFERENCE TO THIS MEME LMFAOOO OH MY LORD BSHWJRHEJJAJW ; very vine oriented so I apologize. you threw me into a loop referencing that
MCYT ; "anytime, anywhere, I'd beat a bitches ass for you"
includes ; tommyinnit, tubbo, ranboo, badlinu, nihachu, slimecicle, quackity, & foolish gamers
warnings ; language, talk of blood/injuries, physical fighting, vine cringe because I got very carried away and you can tell
masterlist
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TOMMYINNIT
he was one of those kids in high school that made light offensive jokes but would never fight anyone over anything, he's not a violent person at all other than in his jokes
but God forbid some random person look at you two weird in public, you're on their ass
you're more offended that they were judging Tommy at all, you couldn't care that they were judging you
"sorry, do you have a problem?" You squint your eyes at the person, "me and my boyfriend are just trying to shop and you keep following us around and staring, like, can I help you?"
just a teenage Karen
yall do take it outside when the motherfucker follows you out and begins to record you
you beat this fuckers ass to a PULP
Tommy's just holding the few bags of stuff you'd purchased staring down, jaw on the fucking floor like "Oh my God wtf do I do"
he had the vlog camera on so he kinda got it all on video before he pulled you away from the person
yall sprinted the hell away bc the security guards were running towards yall 😭😭
#neveridentified
#the person admitted guilt anyways and said they were planning to hurt you so no point in trying to track yall down for self defense
#i barely know the law shush
TUBBO
he physically has to hold you back from fighting people
"y/n, it's fine. they just want a reaction"
"let me beat them up!"
the other person's like "yo wtf is wrong with you????"
"sorry, my partner acts like a hostile animal when people piss them off, sorry"
he appreciates you defending him though, he does like using you as a weapon because he thinks it's funny
I mean at least you guys don't have to worry about getting kidnapped or anything because you'll be there to kick the motherfuckers ass
"GET YO FUCKING DOG BITCH"
"Oh they don't bite, it's okay 🥰"
"YES THEY FUCKIN DO HELP"
RANBOO
they just kind of accepted that you were like this
"I do not endorse violence unless you are y/n. I can't make them un-violent. I have tried, they're a vicious guard dog now"
hurricane Katrina? more like hurricane tortilla when you enter the building
yk the free style dance teacher vine? that'll be ranboo out in public and someone will stare at them all weird and you'll glare back
"walk away, walk away" you mumble, watching the person hurrily walk away as they see you like glaring daggers into their skull
your dynamic is the one vine that's like "Oh can I have a sip of your water?" and "It's not water or vodka, it's vinegar" "bitch what"
then you'll go make angsty edge lord posts to the one bojack horseman audio "I'm not a violent dog" and insert a clip of you beating the shit out of someone in high school
FREDDIE BADLINU
you post the "look at all those chickens" vine on your Twitter everytime you see a hate comment made for one of you
you love instigating fights w people online it's the funniest fucking thing
if you don't know how to reply to some dumbass edgelord response you'll just spam the guacamole vine until they shut up
"wait, why does y/n have so many soaps?"
"MIND YOUR FUCKIN BUISNESS DAVID"
Freddie's response to your violence is usually the saxophone seal vine. he genuinely laughs everytime he sees you fighting w someone online
sometimes you'll stream it while you wait for a response and while you're fighting online trolls who've been brainwashed by Twitter
"You're gay?!?!?!?11??11"
insert the "ms keisha dead" vine and the battle is over idk what to say
fight fire with fire I guess
NIKI NIHACHU
she hates yet loves that you'd fight ppl for her
oh, someone treated her wrong? you'll be trending on Twitter for fighting the person
#y/u/n will literally be at number 1 for a week
people edit the fight too
she appreciates it though, even though she doesn't exactly like to promote violence, she'll accept it from you
"Oh, don't worry about them, they're just a little... nervous around people sometimes"
"nervous? girl that mf is SNARLING at me"
you'll see a post that's like "me when someone tries to start shit w my s/o" and reply with the "hahaha I do that" vine
when I tell you she CACKLES reading online fights with people 😭🙏
CHARLIE SLIMECICLE
"get the F off my yard!" proceeds to have to drag you away from situations where someone's actin a little funny in a /neg way
he genuinely thinks you fighting people for him is funny
he'll tell the stories on stream and to his friends like "dude they fucked this guy up, I honestly feel bad for laughing"
honestly most the time it's people victimizing themselves
like that one meme where the lady very obviously and fakely falls over that bench on LIVE TELEVISION.
he's your biggest supporter
he's the old guy from that one vine of the kid singing "Oh wait a minute mister postman" and he does the whole ass high note
"here's y/n fighting someone for idk what because they're talking to the police 😋"
you're a problem at this point
QUACKITY
you've physically fought so many wild racists for him it's crazy
he'll gladly cheer you on
"AHHHH COME GET YO DOG BRO HELP"
"Oh it don't bite"
you proceed to bite the bitch
online fights are usually responded w the purple teletubby twerking meme
"L don't be a weak ass racist pussy next time"
you fight Logan Paul for some reason??? Twitter drama mostly
don't worry quackitys there to watch
17-3 don't worry... ehehehrhahahha
when he tells you that you need to stop instigating fights you send him the "They ask you how you are but you just have to say that you're fine when you're not really fine" meme BAHDNHAHA
FOOLISH GAMERS
"YOU KNOW WHAT DUDE? IM OUTTA HERE" vine in a nutshell with you two. I can't explain this but it makes sense I swear
"whatd you do to your eyebrows?" meme except its "Whyd you fight that person!?" "I don't really know!"
Twitter fights are like "and they were roommates!" "ohmygodtheywereroomates" I swear to fucking god
you love instigating shit with Twitter trolls
when you stand up for him/reply to edgelord haters for him he replies with the "country boy I love youuuuuuu" vine
"GIVE ME YOUR FUCKIN MONEY!" vine with the law and order intro is literallt how physical fights go
let's just say some stalker edgelords tracked you guys down at the streamer awards...
HE AND PUNZ GENUINLEY CHEER YOU ON
here you go trending on Twitter again
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xjulixred45x · 3 months
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When I think about Yandere Gojo I suddenly remember that Veronica open the door meme that used to float around in tiktok. So inspired by that may I pleasw get a Yandere Gojo request where his darling locked themselves in the closet and refusing to come out.
Maybe i could make a Drabble of this one of You're comfortable? This is such a good idea for a scenerio
Thanks for the Request!
Yandere! Satoru Gojo x Reader: Open the Door
-"knock knock"-
Reader had hurriedly entered their apartment, after having run for entire blocks, dodging people and constantly looking behind them since they had managed to leave Gojo's house. The one they were sure had been left unconscious by the seal they had managed to put on him.
But as soon as they heard those words as they closed the door, they knew they had to run again.
and they did it.
-"I'm sorry for entering through your window! Horrible manners, but you know how I am~"-
they heard him speak as he futilely fled to their almost empty room, since most of his things were in Gojo's house, they closed the door and left to the first place that came to their mind--
The closet.
If you can't beat him, at least entertain him so he doesn't kill you. they thought.
Satoru walked slowly towards his partner's room, seeing them without problem through the blindfold. He didn't feel afraid, he wasn't even a little worried, he knew they couldn't run away from him. much less now.
Although he admitted it, watching them try even knowing how futile it is was quite funny, look at them, pretty little thing, thinking they have a chance, hiding in the closet like a scared child. But there's nothing to worry about! He is here after all.
He entered to the room, turning his back to them as he sat on the floor.
-"Now now, (reader), why don't you just go out and we go home? You must be hungry after having run so much."-
-"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!! THE DEPARTMENT ALARM RINGED AND THE POLICE WILL COME!"-
-"we'll be gone by then..come on! you had your moment of "freedom"! come out and we'll forget about this-"--"why?"- (reader) abruptly cut off Satoru, surprising him, but no more than their question. .
-"Why what?...no, wait, I know what you mean"-
Satoru never understood many of his partner's actions.
The feeling was mutual.
Why did they reject his affection? Why didn't they see that he did all this for them? Why don't they just accept that they are meant to be his?
...why was Satoru doing this to them?
-"I am meant to be yours... and you are meant to be MINE...I am everything you need!"-
Satoru was a little surprised to receive no response after that. So he continued talking, waiting for a reaction or at least, that they would get fed up with what he was saying and respond to him.
-"I FINALLY met someone who gives me these kinds of emotions... even if you don't like this I'M NOT GOING TO GIVE UP ON YOU" - Satoru expected to hear even a sob from (the reader) but he was greeted again by the silence of the aisle..
-"You KNEW that I couldn't live without you! YOU forced me to do this! I can't do it alone! Why is it so HARD for you to accept me?!"- Satoru said as he turned around abruptly, losing his patience.
But then he noticed something that made him feel a strange sensation in his stomach, as he saw that through the closet door, (reader)'s body temperature was decreasing....
NO.....
-"(READER)!- open the- open the door please! (READER)! open the door!"-
No response.
-"(READER) can we forget that this happened and go back home? Can you say something...?"-
Satoru was in front of the closet doors, with his hands shaking as he tried to get (Reader) to answer him without success. He could see they were there but something was very wrong...
-"(READER) YOU'RE SCARED! I GET IT! NOW STOP THE TRICKS AND OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!"- Satoru stood up from his kneeling position and prepared himself in case (reader) moved. They did not.
-"(READER) DON'T MAKE ME GET IN THERE! I'M GOING TO COUNT TO 3!!--
1-
2--
FUCK IT!"
Satoru didn't even have to move a muscle for the closet door to shatter in front of him, leaving (reader) exposed.
-"THE GAMES ARE OVER!"-
(Reader) had put a belt around their neck as tight as possible to try to kill themselves.
Fortunately or unfortunately, Satoru broke the belt too. They were practically unconscious, barely breathing, but it was fine. They were going to be fine.
Satoru felt that strange feeling disappear and a soft sensation came to him. Seeing them so helpless, he stretched out his hand and caressed their cheek lovingly.
Aw...what a scare they gave him...he will definitely have to take care of them more now. Maybe spend more time with them so they don't feel bad, especially after this, they're going to need it. Both.
-"NOW...let's go home, shall we?"-
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imnotsimpingyouare · 1 year
Text
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UPPERMOONS' ROLE IN THE BEDROOM
NSFW Headcannons - Minors DNI
For Muzan, Kokushibo, Douma, Akaza, Hantengu Clones
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I think it's so funny putting writing like this underneath some stupid meme or some shit. Like I can't even. Why is it so funny to me.
Also sorry but something about Gyokko is fishy to me so I'm replacing his little hand-having Muichiro-torturing ass with Kaigaku in the next bit.
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Muzan
This man is the demon king. I hope you're not expecting him to be nice with you, cuz you're wrong.
He's a dom.
And a bit of a sadist.
But how can you hate him for it? Especially when he looks like that.
I know this man LOVESS to have you under him for hours at a time. Like bro will not leave you alone until you physically cannot go anymore. At least he has the decency to listen to you when you safeword out.
He's evil, but not like... evil. Yk?
He especially loves to punish you when you do wrong. And getting a rise out of him is fairly easy, so one wrong step and you'll be over his lap until you can't even remember what you did to set him off.
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Kokushibo
Kokushibo is a dom, but I can see him getting off to you trying your best to take control. He adores that you try so hard to prove your worth, but I think both of you know it's not gonna happen.
He loves to listen. Sometimes he becomes eerily quiet, lost in the sounds you're making while he's absolutely annihilating your poor cunt.
He's a huge fan of receiving also. Not that he won't eat you out whenever you ask, but I feel it would be..... uncomfortable for his lower pair of eyes?
LMFAO
Are they closed? Are they open? Can he even close them separately?
I'm sorry for bullying you Koku.
He can't get enough of seeing your head between his thighs, trying your best to take him all with that tiny human mouth of yours.
He's mean with punishments though. He's not easy to irritate like Muzan, but if you tease him too much you'll find yourself edged for hours, with only a 50/50 chance of getting to cum (depending on if you beg right). Moreover, he mainly thinks it's sad how his lovely little human has done something to upset him when your track record was so good.
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Douma
Absolute sadist. Look at this devious fuck. He'll do anything to make you beg, anything to hear your beautiful voice beg him for more.
Oh he started soooo vanilla. Sweet nothings like "Are you okay, flower?" "I'm not hurting you, am I love?"
But one day he dug his claws in a little too hard, and your whine at that burning sensation..
🔒🔑 sadist UNLOCKED
From that moment on he made it a point to leave as many marks on you as possible. Bites, hickeys, scratches, anything that proved to everyone else that you are HIS. And ONLY HIS.
He'll even present you to his followers that way, proudly demonstrating that you've been "chosen by him to aid his spiritual work."
He reeeeeaaaaally needs to do a better job at knowing when to stop. Demons have unlimited stamina, and you feel so good around him, he'll only stop when he's noticed your moans have ceased, and you're passed out under him. WHY DID YOU EVEN CREATE A SAFEWORD.
It just feels so good, you know? You have to REALLY get his attention when you want him to stop, or so help me god he will get lost in it.
It's because of this that he is one of the best at aftercare. He'll clean you up, cuddle with you, do anything he can to appeal to his pitiful, fucked-out human.
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Akaza
Look at him. You know him.
The most vanilla MF ever.
He's so gentle and sweet with you, taking his time on every little thing.
He prefers to have control over the pacing, and that's why he fits into the dom role. He doesn't like to go too fast, or graze over the most intimate parts of the act.
This man will die to give. Don't get me wrong, he'll take some good head any day of the week, but it can't compare to seeing your expression from between your legs when his tounge laps at your overstimulated clit.
He'd never tell you, he's your brave Akaza, but he's SO scared of hurting you in ANY way. He's always checking up on you, making sure his grip isn't too tight, he's not going too fast, you're properly prepared... ect.
He's the aftercare KING 👑
No one can match up to this man. He has cooked you FIVE STAR MEALS at the mere words "kinda want a snack"
He'll hold you in his arms and will NOT LET GO. FOR ANY REASON.
He's just so happy to be connected with his sweet little human. Can you blame him for that?
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Sekido
Roughest dom to exist. He wants nothing more than to absolutely destroy you, what better way to release his anger? Not that he'll ever truly be not angry, anyway. But you help.
I feel like he's one for routine. He doesn't want to change things up, because why would he change something that's already so good.
Does not know how to be gentle with you. He BITES YOU. When he wants to KISS YOU.
Beware of the fucking dog. Man needs his own damn sign.
It all starts when you wear a skirt that's a LITTLE too short. You don't even notice. But he does. He notices.
One minute, you're making dinner, and the next moment, you're bent over the kitchen counter, taking it while he marks up your neck and shoulders.
From then on, he's unafraid to take you anywhere. In the forest. In a STRANGER'S(victim's) HOUSE. HE DOESN'T CARE.
As free-use as he is, he refuses to allow any one else to see you coming undone for him. He'll only take you if he knows there's a 0% chance of being walked in on. Not only will it turn him off, it'll make him so incredibly angry he'll rip off somebody's head.
#hopeitsnotyou
#wontevengettofinish
#dontwalkinhereurogi
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Aizetsu
Boy is a switch. 100%
He just wants to be in you, he doesn't care who's doing the dominating.
He's loud.
Like, bb tries so hard not to make any noise, but how can he not, when you're bouncing on his cock like that?
Whines and whimpers all the way. I literally have not seen anyone deny this. It's a fact.
He can't handle when you talk dirty to him. It's like a spell. ESPECIALLY words of encouragement. He just wants to feel validated by you, poor guy. He's literally depression if depression was hot and if you wanted depression to fuck you over in another way than figuratively.
He loves to give you head as much as he loves receiving it. He wants to see you melt to his touch, he wants to know that he's the only one who can make you feel this way.
Aizetsu lives in fear of you yearning for one of the other clones instead. That's why his mission is to be as nice to you as possible. Not... *slow* nice, just *gentle* nice. He'll cuddle with you, he'll kiss you, he'll keep his cock in you for as long as he wants. Only when you're absolutely spent he'll be done with you.
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Karaku
Man is the pleasure clone.
He knows EXACTLY how to get you off. It only takes one time for him to learn the ins and outs of your body.
He just wants you to feel as good as you can. He'll keep your legs pinned for hours, not caring when you tug his hair or beg him to stop. If you're not safewording, you can take more. That's his motto.
He'll cum where he wants, he'll fuck where he wants, in any position he wants, he's selflessly selfish, if you get the juxtaposition.
He loves to switch it up every now and then. If he has an idea you'll partake in, you're doing it. As long as it's with you, he's open to whatever.
Karaku is the king of teasing you. He's not going to let you cum until you're BEGGING. Like capital B Begging.
His favorite thing is to see you riding him. It makes him feel so good inside when he sees your legs shake. His poor little human can't even handle riding him. How sad is that? But he's not opposed to helping you.
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Urogi
Bro goes absolutely wild. Like.. he cannot get enough of you after the first time.
So incredibly loud. Grunts, moans, yells, man has no shame and no fucks to give because his only fuck has already been spent on you.
He's sensitive on his back because no one ever puts their warm little human hands back there. No one can reach because of his massive fucking wings. So when you massage him, preen his wings, anything that involves your gentle touch on his back, AUTOMATIC HORNY.
He doesn't even know how to articulate when he's horny. The only thing he can think about is fucking. Literally you'll just be cuddling and he'll start undressing you, no warning.
#whatthefuck
He's really bad at pacing. Like.. he has no routine, no rhythm, no idea when he's gonna cum or how he's gonna get to that point. You've really gotta help him out on that.
I feel like Urogi would have a hard time prepping you because of his massive, razor sharp fucking talons. Like he went to do it after you told him "dude I can't just take your whole dick out of the blue" and realized for the first time that having talons may be inconvenient when trying to be intimate.
No worries though, he gets equally horny watching you stuff yourself with your own fingers, wanting to put his hands all over you, but knowing the real fun will come soon.
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diagonal-queen · 4 months
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hello!! how are you doing??<3 may i have hunting dogs with silent s/o??? teruko platonic ofc:3 thanks if you do
Hunting Dogs with a Silent S/O
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♡ pairing: Fukuchi Ouchi, Jouno Saigiku, Tecchou Suehiro, Teruko Okura, Tachihara Michizou x gn!Reader
♡ synopsis: How are they with an S/O who doesn't speak?
♡ cw: Swearing, I'm under the assumption that reader is completely silent either because they can't or won't speak, so...yeah!
note: I'm finally fucking posting something, so I'm honestly doing pretty fantastic! I know it's kinda short though I'm sorry T-T It's getting increasingly harder to find new panels of the Hunting Dogs to make banners out of. Like I spend a DISGUSTING amount of time on them and they don't even look good help </3 anyway Teruko solos, I apologise for errors and I hope you enjoy x
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Fukuchi:
Fukuchi 'look upon and admire my adorable silent partner or face my wrath' Ouchi
I know I keep saying this but I physically can't see him being anything but extremely proud of his partner and wanting to show you off at any chance he can, no matter how silent you are
If you're up to it, sit with him at meetings and follow him around when he runs errands this man LOVES your company!
As such, he doesn't mind your silence. In fact, he thinks it's endearing, and will find alternative ways for you to communicate that make you the most comfortable
(I mean all of this in the most manly macho war hero way possible btw)
To be honest he's not the best at reading you at first, but just give it a little more time and you're like an open book to him. He is that meme where you're sad and then he wakes up in a cold sweat like 'something is deeply wrong'
Of course this is assuming that you've opted not to sleep in the same bed, which he's also fine with, but like, Fukuchi despite being a literal global hero is also a pathetic man who will turn up at your house in the wee hours of the morning because he couldn't sleep because he could sense that YOU couldn't sleep
He is both parts cool and just downright pitiful. Maybe you'll actually be the one taking care of him (behind closed doors of course)
Jouno:
"Excuse me they asked for no pickles" ahh boyfriend
He loves that you're silent. Not only can he already tell how you're feeling regardless because of your body language and other factors, but he also doesn't need to worry about any potential scares or distractions from your voice. Win-win
He's actually a little curious as to why you don't talk but he waits for you to tell him of your own accord rather than asking outright (and if you ask him to keep it a secret he does)
He's more than happy to speak for you at any point. Like if someone asks you a question, he answers for you if you want him to, or if the question is rude he's like 'hey leave my partner alone you pathetic fuck'
Jouno's just a little bit possessive. He just really, really strikes me as the type
Since you don't talk to him, your love language manifests in other ways. He loves when you cling to him, buy him little presents or help him with stuff, he genuinely really appreciates it.
And, honestly, he gives you more than enough compliments to make up for it <3
When you guys are out in public (not when he's at work) you're almost always holding hands. It's like you're glued to each other
Jouno doesn't need to hear you speak at all. The sound of your heartbeat is more than enough for him <3
Tecchou:
I mean...talk about a quiet couple
I feel like the only times Tecchou really even talks are when he's spoken to first, or when he's like talking to a suspect or a witness or whatever his job needs. He's certainly not a man of many words at the very least
Your time is spent together just in each others' presence and that's more than enough for him. Regardless of whether or not you have any conversation he loves your company
If he's given any options for something or any decisions to make ever without fail he'll always turn to you with a blank face and ask what you think, and wait for you to either nod and shake your head
He honestly might find it a little easier to communicate nonverbally with you and that's why he enjoys it so much. (if it isn't already established I am a firm believer in autistic Tecchou)
You two establish little ways of communicating with one another, like a squeeze of the hand means 'I love you' for example. It's honestly really adorable
At this point you could have whole conversations without saying anything. You two are the telepathic communication meme. Everyone else is confused, even Jouno is confused, he has NO idea what's happening
Man, he just loves everything about the way you are. And he'll squeeze your hand many times so that you know it
Teruko (platonic):
Let's be real she does enough talking for the both of you
Teruko is SO FUCKING LOUD, man. Even if you did talk, you're not quite sure you'd be able to hear your own voice. You sure as hell can't hear your own thoughts already
Teruko might have prodded at you for a while when you first met, trying to provoke you into talking. But you didn't let up with your silence and she decided that she liked you as you were anyway.
She really doesn't seem like someone who you should try talking over or interrupting tbh
If anyone else did that to you though, they'd be getting decked (I know I say this in EVERY Teruko post but I adore the idea of her being the 'only I'm allowed to be mean to you' friend)
Unlike the others she probably doesn't always wait to get your opinion. She'll be like 'do you wanna hang' and then before you indicate any answer she's got you by the wrist and has started dragging you around
But she loves you so much for real. Will stick up for you, will include you in things, and will make you feel VALUED.
Like Jouno, is also an 'Excuse me they asked for no pickles' person
Except she'd probably just take the pickles off and launch them at the poor cashier let's be real. And you just have to give them an apologetic look T-T
Tachihara:
He's friends with Gin. If you think he has an issue with your quietness you're a little stupid sorry <3
He thinks it's endearing and will still engage with you just as much as anyone else, like even if you're arguing or something he'll still like pause and wait for you to argue back before continuing T-T
Not that I imagine you'd argue very much but he's a stubborn guy fr (goodluck if you're also stubborn (I'm NOT projecting))
If you primarily communicate in sign language, he'll learn it for you. He might not be perfect but goddamnit he'll TRY.
He's already pretty good at reading your facial expressions and minute body language, so like a lot of the time if he sees your eyebrow twitch a certain way or some shit he'll just be like 'you look happy babe :)' or like 'you look sad what's wrong :('
Sometimes it feels a little random but it's just because he cares about you <3
The two of you text each other ALL the time. Like even from across the room and stuff. He probably did it one day to be a goof but the habit stuck and now its your guys' thing
And everyone else can always tell when you're doing it because the pair of you are just smiling down at your phones and occasionally glancing at each other (Teruko probably bullies you guys rip
You guys might have your little quirks or whatever but who cares? You're still fucking adorable anyway
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taglist~ ♡ @gettinshiggywithit, @fyodorhatr, @flower-of-darkness, @bejeweledgirl, @kokoenjiandco, @pinkiipeachiikeen
and of course thank you to @flocaelors for this req!
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