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yutahoes · 3 years

Text

Ghost of You

pairing: idol! Yuta (NCT member) x idol! Y/N (solo idol-actress)

word count : 5k words

genre: angst

summary: He was the one who ended everything. But you’re like a ghost that kept haunting him.

warning : break up, alleged cheating, pregnancy, a fic where you just want to strangle Yuta to death

Based on this ask. I’m sorry, I tweaked the story and changed some of the song (especially the Olivia Rodrigo one because it doesn’t fit the story) The songs I used are linked in the story. Also, I have no idea how the idol world works and please note that this is just fanfiction. Please Enjoy reading.

Broken glass, an empty unruly apartment. Signs that a big fight happened. All because of a tabloid article of him seeing his co-host late at night. Yuta argued that she needed someone to talk to and Y/N was angry that he winged their anniversary V-live just for this. “You can tell me if you’re sick of me, Yuta.” she claimed that made him hiss. “Don’t you think I didn’t notice? You’re always making up things just so you can’t meet me.”

“That’s not true!” Yuta shouted. “I am busy.”

Tears ran down her face. “Then explain how Jungwoo had lunch with me last Friday when you said that you’re practicing with your members.”

“Stop saying that I don’t even make time for you.” His voice raised in frustration. “When all you do is hang out with that co-star of yours.”

The girl scoffed. “So it’s my fault now? It’s work, Yuta.” It’s always the same reason. “I asked you a lot of times if you’re alright with the drama and you never mention anything. Now, you’re using it against me?”

The guy shook his head. “Let’s talk about this tomorrow. I’m tired.”

“And I’m also tired.” She whispered. “Let’s end this, Yuta.” She threw the promise ring before leaving the apartment.

The news next day was about Y/N erasing pictures of them in her social media accounts. The breakup news between the solo idol and the NCT member followed. Taeyong just shook his head watching Yuta exit the CEO’s office with droopy shoulders. “I really like her for you, hyung.” Mark claimed when he entered the practice room.

He didn’t know where it went wrong. They were happy. Everyone likes their relationship. His fans are her fans, and hers are his. They were tagged as the greatest idol couple, often paired in dances since it’s both their strengths. Y/N was casted in a period drama and he’s a supportive boyfriend who visited her the first day of the filming and thanked everyone for taking care of his girlfriend. She filmed romantic scenes, kissing her actor co-star. And he was fine. “It’s work, Yuta.” She would always say. And he would just smile.

He started hosting a radio show with a female Japanese idol and he was cold at her, wanting to stir away from controversy. But as her drama progressed, with more romantic scenes and more kissing, he felt left out. She’s becoming a star. And he’s becoming Y/N’s idol boyfriend. Slowly, he’s getting fed up with the relationship that’s slowly getting centered on her.

It felt like a breath of fresh air that it all ended now. Like a thorn removed from his aching heart.

All the public’s sympathy went to her, as he expected. She’s the star. The more famous one among the two of them. So he just painted himself as the bad guy by confirming that he’s dating his co-host which surprised the other girl. The agency was surprised at the decision but it became such a media frenzy that their radio show got high ratings every week. Even the sales of their album spiked up and he became known as NCT’s Yuta and not as someone’s idol boyfriend.

Everything is getting better.

-----

It was the end of the year award show when they crossed paths again. They were doing a great job avoiding each other. Why now? Nine members meant a vacant seat from the round table artists are seated at. The staff repeatedly apologized but as kind as she is, she just smiled and sat between Doyoung and Jaehyun, just across Yuta. She greeted all the members, even complimenting Haechan’s hair and Taeil’s suit. “Congratulations on best album.” she greeted, smiling widely to avoid the awkwardness.

“Aren’t you releasing an album as well?” Johnny asked that made her nod. “Another dance track?” Taeyong asked but Y/N shook her head saying that it was a ballad album and that she will perform later. The guys were obviously surprised, ballad isn’t her best track. She’s more known for her dancing skills so it is indeed a huge surprise.

When the best female idol awardee was called, the NCT members all stood up to congratulate her. Jungwoo even helped her with her pink lace gown. She did the usual thank you message: thanking her parents, the almighty being, the management, the staffs, and her fans. “And lastly…” Yuta gasped. Whenever she gets an award, she thanks him lastly for comforting and always supporting her. “Please watch out for my album.” He felt his heart drop, especially when she smiled that angelic smile. Why is she shaking him like this?

Yuta was already bored. He just wants to go home. The lights dimmed and the emcees announced her as the next performer. Because it’s a live performance, they showed some clips of her photoshoot for her new album. He had to agree that this concept fits her. She looked prettier than when they used to go out.

He was more surprised to see an orchestra accompaniment behind her on stage. Her, seated on a platform, wearing a white sequined dress that shines like stars when the spotlight shone on her. The crowd clapped just as the start of the song played. (Imagine this as the performance.)

The other members warily glanced at him. A break up song. Why isn’t he surprised?

My dream changed - instead of a famous singer, I tried to become a good wife

He remembered how she would always try to learn to cook whenever she had extra time. She never mentioned anything to him. It was until one night, they were laying next to each other, when she asked him if he wanted her to continue being an idol. That made him curious that time. She loved performing. Why would she ask that?

Now, he knew why.

By the time the second chorus rolled in, he was just amazed at how she could sing those notes while seated down. Her singing really got better.

Someday you’ll probably call me then I hope you will be a man and congratulate me

Because this is all thanks to you, I’ll prepare a good thank you message for you

He can hear Mark giggling beside him. Johnny pursed his lips as if preventing to laugh. “Hyung, please record her thank you message.” the youngest member teased that made him annoyed.

Her voice echoed all throughout the venue. Her adlibs hitting notes that she cannot do before and she’s sitting while doing that.

Slowly, I got over you like that

Their eyes met. Those sparkling eyes. She’s shining. She looks well. She looks better. Without him.

The fresh air suffocated him, burning his lungs in the process. The thorn that was removed came back and brought friends, a knife tearing his heart into pieces.

Everything is getting better. For her. Not for him.

The moment he went inside the empty apartment, he felt like breaking down. This is harder than the time she left. He missed her. He’s a wreck without her. A huge mess. Why is he taken over by his jealousy? She deserves to be the center of the relationship. The star. She deserves the whole world. Is it too late for him to get everything back now? He took his phone as a song on the radio played, “Mark, I need your help.”

Another award show meant another chance to cross paths with her. To Y/N’s surprise, Yuta congratulated her with a wide smile after winning an award. The staffs were repeatedly asking if the members were sure of doing this that made the manager and the leader nod. Johnny was seated in front of the grand piano, Mark on one side with his guitar. Taeil, Doyoung, Jaehyun, and Yuta seated on different chairs in the middle of the stage. (Song)

Johnny started the melody while Mark played his guitar. Jaehyun started the song that made Y/N look at them from the artists’ place. Yuta smiled. Her favorite band. Taeil started singing the chorus with Yuta as back-up vocals. Doyoung sang the second verse while Jaehyun sang the chorus, followed by Taeil. By the end of the song, they lightly glance at Yuta. His last cry for her.

So I drown it out like I always do

Dancing through our house with the ghost of you

And I chase it down, with the shot of truth

He glanced at her, staring straight to those sparkling eyes.

That my feet don’t dance like they did with you

The lights dim but he saw her silhouette remain on her seat, shoulders visibly heaving. Behind the spotlight, Yuta finally realized that like a ghost, he cannot shake her off. She’ll keep haunting him because he cannot let go of her. Yuta finally realized that he is still in love with her.

They had been busy with the concerts abroad and she had been busy with the promotion of her album. Yuta’s co-host quit the radio show and days later, it was announced that she was pregnant. The members were surprised at first but it was her who confirmed that Yuta isn’t the father of the child. The public sympathy went to Yuta for the alleged cheating that the girl had done, making him in the center of the media frenzy once again.

It was a Japanese radio show when he met Y/N again. He had to promote the Japanese leg of their concert while she promoted her Japanese single. She looked casual greeting him, as if nothing happened but her words echoed in his ears “It’s just work, Yuta.” Maybe it was really nothing to her.

They were seated next to each other. He watched her put on her headphones then rubbed her palms together. “I kinda forgot Japanese.” she claimed then said a Japanese phrase to introduce herself. “Is that right?” He nodded, his warm gaze still on hers. Too casual. “I’m nervous.”

He wanted to hug her. Comfort her. Tell her that everything will be alright. That he’s next to her so she doesn’t have to worry about anything.

But he can’t. She’s not his.

The host kept on claiming that they looked good together that startled them both. When the staff told him something in Japanese, he kept on apologizing while saying that he doesn’t know that they used to date. She just smiled, shaking her head to avoid the awkwardness. She really did move on. The radio show went smoothly until the last part where they had to sing a duet together. Y/N was obviously surprised. Didn’t she know? “We can skip it if you don’t want to.” Yuta whispered.

Once again she shook her head. “It’s fine. I just haven’t prepared for it.” she claimed while looking at the music sheet. “The notes are a little high.”

“You’ll do great. Your singing got better.” She giggled at the reference and he smiled. He missed her laugh.

Y/N focused on the lyrics, asking the translator to tell her what the words mean or how to pronounce it. Yuta was reading the lyrics, seated next to her when she laughed. “Yuta,” she called and he felt his heart jump from his chest. He missed her voice calling his name. “Should we switch parts?” He looked surprised, curious even. “I mean, the lyrics.”

Yuta smiled. “Should we?”

Y/N giggled. “Sometimes I am convinced they’re doing this on purpose.” He smiled while looking at her. He missed her. So much.

The host was asking repeatedly if they want to continue this, apologizing if it ever makes them uncomfortable but she would just smile and shake her head. He thanked her for being professional and she grinned, making Yuta breathless. He missed her smile.

They were introduced and she even made a fighting sign at him as the melody started. It was a lonely song and Yuta poured all his feelings on his part. (This is the song they used. Dude, can they just remaster it by asking Yuta to sing this?)

Long time no see

His eyes turned to her. He missed everything about her.

We cannot express how we feel

Breath echoes in our ears

The radio show staff all turned to them in surprise.

My dear, you’ve already found a new love

She turned to him with her sparkling eyes.

There is no one like you

I am cheating my heart

He sang while staring at her. She even missed the first beat of her part then smiled while looking at the music sheet in front of them. The bridge of the song came and the staff looked in awe at both of them.

But you are not mine anymore

They stared at each other while singing those words. By the end of the song, Y/N’s voice was breaking so she stepped farther from the mic immediately. A smile escaped her lips when the host asked if she’s alright, apologizing that she ruined the song. Everyone were giving them compliments, fans commenting on how amazing they deliver the song and wishing that they can do a collab in the future.

“Y/N,” Yuta called on the hallways of the building. He breathed hard while she just nodded at her manager, asking her to go first. “I…” He started but the words cannot come out of his mouth. I’m sorry. My ego got the worst of me. My insecurity caused our fall. I’m a wreck without you. Please come back to me.

“Let’s not talk about it, Yuta.” She said while shaking her head. “We were immature. We’re so used to each other that we took each other for granted.” She grinned once again, eyes sparkling. Upon closer look, he figured out why. Her tears were forming. Like little pearls in her eyes. “I’m sorry, Yuta.” The words he cannot tell her. “Let’s be happy, hmm?”

Yuta smiled, taking the hand she held out. “Can I call you when I am feeling miserable?”

The girl laughed. “My number didn’t change.” She claimed. “And I still have to give you my thank message.”

He pulled her close, wrapping her in his arms. “I missed you, Y/N.”

------

Fans were delighted seeing Y/N and Yuta seated next to each other in the V-live account. A thing they always do every year on their anniversary. She was smiling, her lovely smile, while waving at the camera. Yuta adjusted the camera to capture them both before smiling his angelic smile.

“I didn’t know your V-live account still works even if it isn’t used for a year.” She claimed, leaning in to read some comments. “I also didn’t know that there are still fans who come in this V-live account.” The number of watching people raised up that startled even Yuta.

They both introduced themselves in a lively manner before the NCT member explained that they did this V-live as a thank you to fans who trended the song they sang in Japan. “I didn’t know that it would blow up like this.” He claimed and she nodded, even laughing at how embarrassing it is that her voice broke in the end.

They started reading some comments about how fans missed them together, that they look together, and that their playfulness as a couple came back. “Are you back together?” Yuta read, pointing at the comment.

“We’re not together together,” Y/N started then emphasized the last word with air quote marks. “We’re just…” She lightly glanced at him who was looking at her, mirroring the same smile she had. “Just patching things up and fixing ourselves.” Yuta continued for her.

“Is there a possibility of a come back?”

Y/N giggled before pointing at Yuta. “NCT is coming back with a new album. I’m preparing for a fall comeback.” The guy laughed at that. “Yuta, do you want to be featured in my album?”

He nodded immediately. “Will you write me a love song?”

She grinned, shaking her head playfully. “I’m not gonna write you a love song~” she sang before laughing. Yuta chuckled, poking her side playfully. “But we’ll see.”

The fan asked what they had been up to. Y/N shared that she’s writing songs for her album and Yuta saying that he hangs out with the members often and the preparations for their comeback. “I’ve been hanging out with Jaehyun a lot.” he claimed, “I’ve been liking his music choices lately.”

“You’re already done with your rocker state?” She asked, feigning a shock. “What song have you been listening to lately?”

Yuta smiled, taking his phone out of his pocket. He played the song and Y/N smiled that there’s still a rockish feel on it. (Song)

Oh, all my emotions feel like explosions when you are around

Yuta mouthed the words, trying to look for comments but his gaze was on her while jamming on the song. A smile crept his lips and he saw how one fan pointed out that he’s so in love with her. He is.

“This song is so nice.”

“Honestly, it kinda reminds me of you.”

He’s singing ‘She’s a, She’s a lady And I am just a boy’

He’s singing ‘She’s a, She’s a lady’ And I am just a line without a hook’

Oh baby, I am a wreck when I’m without you I need you here to stay

She looked surprised when Yuta sang the lines of the songs. The side of his lips curled up when he saw the sparkle back in her eyes. They talked a bit about what fans should watch out from their respective schedules. They said goodbye in a lively manner before Yuta ended the V-live.

Y/N leaned on the couch, breathing heavily. She lightly glanced at Yuta and he smiled. “Want to get some sushi?” She nodded, grinning widely.

Yuta cannot shake her off. Like a ghost, she will keep haunting him. And hopefully, she can come back to him.

#hotpinklists #yuta #yuta nakamoto #nakamoto yuta #yuta angst #yuta nakamoto angst #nakamoto yuta angst

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loth-wolffe · 3 years

Note

Hello hello! Congratulations on your milestone!! So happy for you!!

I really like your blog and your writing! I LOVE how you write soft crosshair.

I wanted to know if I could request a fic with the one and only Captain Rex?

With number 9 and 39 from the lyrics prompt list, pretty please?

Something along the lines of them not having seen each other in a while, cuz you know, the clone wars.

they are kinda nervous, afraid the other doesn't feel the same way anymore :'(

BUT THEY DO LOVE EACH OTHER SO SO SO MUCH IT HURTS AND IT'S LIKE REUNION, HAPPY TEARS, LONG AWAITED KISSES AND HUGS.

I JUST- WHAT THE HELL I- THANK YOU SO MUCH??? youre so kind! *sends a kiss to a planet Earth image* for u, wherever u are. anyways this ask is FANTASTIC OMG. thank you so so so so much for requesting this.

also added my sweet @intergalactic-padawan request that was prompt 43 bc I realized I was writing pretty much the same thing so yeah.

hope you guys like it!

It's been a long, long time.

Pairings: Captain Rex x reader (no y/n)

Prompts: 9. Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips, we should just kiss like real people do. - Like real people do by Hozier, 39. I thought that I was dreaming when you said you loved me. - Ivy by Frank Ocean and 43. Kiss me once, then kiss me twice, then kiss me once again, it's been a long, long time. - It's been a long, long time by Harry James

Warnings: a bit sad I think? reader feels very anxious bc they don't know if rex loves them still. but it's fluff I swear. like, very very very fluffy.

Word count: 1,1k bc I can't control myself and make actual drabbles.

He had been away for too long. You had begun to forget his touch, the sweet taste of his lips, the goosebumps his fingers left on your skin, the warmth of his caress. Days blurred together with the only constant thing being how much you missed him, heart longing, aching quietly, mourning for the emptiness it feels, tired, desperate, for the day Rex comes back to fill it again.

There were nights where you fell asleep with tears running down your cheeks, afraid you might never see him, trying to forget the dull ache your heart felt with every beat it gave, breaking just a little bit for him, swelling with love for a man you barely saw.

You hated him sometimes, just to justify the torrent of emotions that slowly consumed you with every day that passed, a filthy lie you told yourself to push away the pain, the tears that gathered in your eyes, how the memory of him fogged your mind and couldn't, wouldn't, let you rest. You hated how much you loved him, and in the anger of it you wished he felt the same, but then again you didn't, because maybe the ghost of you distracted him enough to make him sloppy, careless, maybe your ghost stopped him from coming back to you, took his hand and dragged him away.

It became a habit, to wake up in an empty bed, make your own caf, and wait for the day to end. The empty spot he left always following you around, and you learned to dance around it, never touching it, never moving it, but letting it be, becoming one with you because you'd rather have that than nothing at all.

It was all routine, one that slowly stuck to your nature, with him becoming a presence you that scarred you, probably, for life.

Quick texts and short conversations was all you got from Rex, unable to give you more, and for you to ask for more, leaving you both in a limbo, not knowing where you stood anymore.

Which led you to this moment, nervousness bubbling in your chest like some sort of venom, thick and foul, spreading through your body fast and corrosive.

His shuttle had just arrived, and between the many troopers you were looking for his distinctive uniform, the pauldron standing tall and the Jaig eyes making the search easier.

You feel sick at the mere thought of having him in front of you.

Does he looks the same? Same hair, a new scar maybe? Will he still like how you laugh, or call his name? Does he kiss, touch, feel the same? Do you?

Does he love you still?

It's been too long, too long.

You fidget with your shirt and your eyes sometimes find the floor, flickering through the different buckets, a couple of Jedi pass by, some pilots, a few droids. No one is your man.

Anxiety starts to make you feel dizzy, sound begins to feel too distant, and has your heart always been beating this quick? You can't breath properly.

Where is Rex? Is he–

Tears fill your eyes as a sigh leaves you, relief washing over you as find him, uniform a bit dirtier than the last time you saw it, blasters at both his sides and the kamas move matching the confidence he carries himself with as he comes to meet you. You can't see his face and the fact stirs something unpleasant in you, self doubt slowly poking it's ugly head.

Are you still beautiful in his eyes?

You always hated the way his helmet shields him from you, not letting you know what he's feeling, is he disgusted, happy, sad? Is he as nervous as you are? You can never tell.

Your head falls slightly once he's in front of you, and you're glad he can't hear the frenetic beat of your heart.

He calls your name with a formality that surprises you, you look everywhere but him, searching new scratches in his armour, finding a few stains that weren't there before.

He doesn't make any sign that he might want to hug you or touch you, and neither do you, standing at a safe distance that it might look like you're just co-workers or less.

Your hand itches to feel him.

"Rex." You let out, trying to find his eyes behind the bucket, he looks stiff, frozen, like something weights on him heavy and awkward.

Your mind wanders to the worst of places.

He lifts his bucket and tucks it under his arm, shy eyes search for something in yours, and yours searching for anything that might be different from the last time you got to see his pretty face.

No new scars –not visible at least–, same short blond hair, same irises that remind you of the sun and that matches it's warmth. He looks just the same, yet you don't know if his feelings stayed.

Maybe... maybe he met someone else, what if he–?

"Hi." He says in a breath, as if he had been holding it for far too long, and is enough for your tears to cascade down your cheeks as a smile breaks through your face.

"Hi yourself, trooper."

Rex wraps your body in his arms, pulling you flush against him, face hiding in your neck as he breathes you in. He almost cries, right then and there, you smell just like he remembered, like something sweet, something like home.

It's comforting, really, to know nothing has changed between you two in a galaxy that always seems to be.

And just like that, you know you're fine.

You whisper his name, and when he looks up he wastes no time in pressing your lips together, a tender little touch that is just a taste of what's to come, of what words can't express, and you find yourself holding him tighter, afraid he might be an illusion, a dream, a distant memory you thought forgotten. But it's still there. He is here. Kissing you like real people do, not a vision, not a wish nor a dream.

It is him in your arms, and you in his.

"I love you," Rex blurts when you pull away for air, in a whisper, as if he didn't want anyone but you to hear, scared of rejection but even more scared of you never knowing. His lips brush with yours, uncertain, timid, foreheads touching.

You feel like dreaming, like you're walking over the clouds, floating away in a perpetual state of pure love, heart feeling so full you might think it's about to explode.

"Kiss me." You plead and he delivers, pushing you to the closest supply box, inhaling sharply when your nails softly scratch the skin at the nape. It's filled with a longing that had been caged for too long, and it's messy, teeth clashing and noses bumping, tongues re-exporing and you don't think you have felt this good in a long time.

Before he can pull away properly, you connect your lips again, and again, and again, until they are swollen and you're panting for air.

It's been too long, and you have missed him so much, and you don't know how to tell him, how to let him know all and every emotion that has tormented you since you met him, so you try to summarize it in four simple, but powerful words.

"I love you too."

taglist: @foodandbooksplease @dottiechan @ladykatakuri @tacticalsparkles @lightning-wolffe @baroclinicinstability @murdertoothpick @m-o-o-n-s-g-o-o-n-s @space-girl-and-droids-art @shygirl268 @hellothere-generalangsty

#captain rex x reader #captain rex x you #clone trooper x reader #rex x reader #clone wars #captain rex

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peach-skull · 4 years

Text

Forever yours

Tomura Shigaraki x Reader

__________________________________________________________________________

tags/TW

Unprotected sex, dry humping, pregnancy mention, cumming inside, childhood friends to lovers, facesitting, shiggy being his nasty self, no quirks au, fluff adjacent

________________________________________________________________

You would get a turn once he died. That’s how it was: That’s how it had been ever since you two were children. Tomura rarely died in video games, so if you wanted a turn you either had to whine until he gave in or wait until he was too focused to notice you take it from him until it was too late. However, you weren’t interested in video games today. You were interested in him. In his soft blue hair, his long, slender fingers, his beautiful crimson eyes. You were head over heels for your best friend since childhood, Tomura Shigaraki. It was a terrible, roiling mixture of puppy love and sheer lust. You wanted to go on long walks and hold his hand. You also wanted him to bend you over a table and fuck you until your legs gave out.

“ Tomu.”

He didn’t answer you, too absorbed in his game to pay attention to anything else. You huffed and tapped him with your foot.

“Tomura!”

Shigaraki muttered something unintelligible and paused his game, looking at you over his shoulder.

“ What do you want, (Y/N)?”

Showtime.

“ I have, uh, a personal question for you”

He grabbed an energy drink and took a sip.

“ Just ask it already.”

You needed to ask this casually. Like you couldn’t care less about the answer. Just making friendly conversation.

“ You’re still a virgin, right?”

He choked on his drink, coughing and sputtering as he tried to think of an answer. Who just asks shit like that?! You better not be making fun of him.

“ That’s none of your goddamn business,asshole.”

Based on his reaction alone, he had to be. You shrugged casually and adjusted one of your thigh-highs, smoothing your pleated skirt once it was back in position. You had worn them especially for him: you knew him long enough to know what he liked.

“ I’ll take that as a yes. So am I. I want to lose it but like, with the right person y’know? Not some rando, or like, a boyfriend who’ll sour the experience if we break up.”

You have never used ‘like’ in a sentence so many times in your life. Or used the word rando.

“ so I was thinking, wouldn’t it be way easier to do it with someone you already trust? Like a close friend . so what if we, Y’know, helped each other ou-

SLAM. before you could even finish your question, Shigaraki had moved from the foot of the bed to the headboard, straddling you with his hands gripping above your head.

He loomed above you, a massive cheshire grin plastered on his flushed face.

“ You aren’t fucking with me, right? You’re being serious? You actually wanna fuck?”

You didn’t expect him to be so enthusiastic about it. You thought he would decline, or accept in a less...intense manner. He was panting and leering and- was he seriously drooling? As if to answer your question, a drop of spit landed on your chest. Maybe a keyhole sweater wasn’t the best thing to wear today.

“N-no, I'm not messing around, Tomu. I-I want… I want to have sex with you.”

Tomura quickly laid on top of you, pinning you down and shoving his tongue into your mouth. You had never been kissed before. You tried to keep up with him, but he was just so rough that it was difficult to do so.You put your trembling hands oh his shoulders and tried to wiggle into a more comfortable position. He snickered and began to grind against your lap, completely misunderstanding what you were trying to do. You pushed his face away, a string of saliva connecting your lips.

“ Get off for a second, I need to move my legs.”

Tomura rolled his eyes but did as you said, crawling backwards on all fours. More of a scuttle, really. You lifted your skirt and spread your legs, revealing your string-tie panties. You didn’t even get the chance to tell him to come back before he pounced, rutting against your covered pussy and latching onto your neck. You could feel the seam of his jeans rubbing on your clit as he frantically humped you. It felt better than you thought it would: his weight on you, the teeth on your throat, the grind of his hard cock on your aching sex. You were getting close to the edge already, moaning and grabbing onto his hoodie as you tried not to finish.

“T-Tomura! Please slow down, I- ah! I’m- I don’t want to cum from kissing! Please, just s-stop for a second!”

Goddammit, he was so close. It hurt to pull away from the warm embrace of your thighs, but he grit his teeth and did it anyways. You had a point: cumming from dry humping alone was a little pathetic. Shigaraki sat back on his heels and surveyed the damage.

Your skirt was pulled up past your stomach. One of your thigh highs had rolled all the way down to your ankle and your neck was covered in bruises. The hole in the chest of your sweater had slipped, exposing the top of your nipples. You weren’t wearing a bra. Holy shit, you weren’t wearing a bra. You had waltzed over to his house and sat on his bed in thigh highs and a sailor skirt and one of those sweaters with a boob window and NO FUCKING BRA. Tomura jumped off of the bed and pulled down his pants without bothering to unzip them. As you stared at the absolute monster of a cock that your best friend somehow had tucked away just moments ago, you only had one question on your mind.

“ um, Shiggy?”

You only called him that when you were particularly nervous. Tomura tore off his hoodie, his shirt going along with it and threw them both on the ground.

“ Why the hell is your dick so goddamn big?!”

He looked down at his crotch as if he had absolutely no clue that his cock was roughly the size of a coke bottle. He looked at you and shrugged.

“ No idea. It’s always been like this, can I fuck your tits?”

He had to be joking.

“What?!”

“ Can you give me a titjob? Please?! I’m really close! It’ll take like two minutes, I swear!

If you weren’t madly in love with this man, you’d put him and his stupid horse cock in a shallow grave.

“ Yeah, yeah, just gimme a sec…”

He sat on the edge of the bed and patted the spot next to him, grinning wildly.

“ Lay down over here and put your boobs on my lap. This’ll be great,I swear.”

Shit, why did he have to be so cute?! You grumbled about various grievances you had with your friend and his dopey smile and that scar on his lips and and his stupid fucking fat dick as you got off his bed and walked over to where he was sitting. You stood in front of him and took off your sweater, chucking it into his face.

“ I swear to GOD if you choke me with that thing, I’ll bite it off. No head-pushing, Understand?”

He just smiled and nodded his head rapidly.

You turned around and took your skirt off, bending over afterwards to roll up the rogue stocking that had decided to slip. While you were busy trying to keep the damn thing from falling again, Tomura grabbed the strings tying your panties together and tugged, undoing the bows and yanking them off of you.

“HEY!”

He held the underwear up to get a closer look. They were white and (f/c) striped, with lace and a little bow on top. Absolutely adorable. He was going to add them to his collection when you weren’t looking,but he just couldn't resist pressing his face into the damp fabric and inhaling deeply.

Was this motherfucker seriously sniffing your panties right in front of you?! You snatched the cloth away from him and threw them across the room, safe from his nasty clutches. For now.

“ Heh, sorry about that (Y/N). You always smell so good, I couldn’t help myself.”

That really shouldn’t have made your stomach flutter the way it did. You laid on the bed, lowering your chest onto Tomura’s lap. He ran his hand down your back and slapped your ass, laughing when you yelped out of pain and surprise.

“ Raise your hips. I can’t have you doing all the work now can I?”

He lowered his hand past your ass, but his fingers couldn’t reach your clit, stopping a few centimeters short. He grumbled and leaned to the side, trying his best to figure out a position that would let him rub your clit and finger your dripping pussy at the same time and gave him the lap titjob he wanted. He might have miscalculated, but that couldn’t be: it looked great in the hentai he saw a couple weeks ago, so it should work just fine IRL!

“ Tomura, this position is kinda weird. I don’t think this is going to work the way you think it will.”

“ Yes it will! C’mon, just raise your hips a little more-”

You looked up at him as best you could from the awkward position on his lap.

“ You saw this in a doujin, didn’t you?”

After around five minutes of arguing about whether or not Tomura’s stupid position would ( or even could) work, you decided to take initiative by pushing him down and sitting on his face. How else were you supposed to shut him up?

“ Sorry, Tomu. This was the only way to get you to be quiet. Seriously, who the hell gets into an argument about hentai in the middle of a hookup? There’s a time and place for everything, dumbass.”

You drooled into your palm to make impromptu lube before wrapping your hand around the head of his cock, smearing your saliva and his precum around as you jerked him off. You had never given a handjob before, but if the moans sending vibrations straight to your core where anything to go on, you were doing a pretty good job. You grabbed the back of his head and ground against his face, giggling when his cock twitched.

“ C’mon, make me cum! Don’t you wanna get to the main event? I want you to rail me until I can't walk. Don’t you wanna fuck me, Tomura? Do you wanna slam that fat cock into my tight little pussy or not?”

He’d always been fun to tease, but never like this. There was a sort of power in it now: you had him right where you wanted him. Or so you thought.Shigaraki growled and grabbed your ass to hold you still. He was sick and tired of you always messing with him. Elbowing him during multiplayer games so he would mess up.Taking the last sip of his energy drink, not even thinking of the indirect kiss. Filling his room with the smell of your perfume after a day of hanging out and then just leaving him alone to masturbate to the thought of you.

“ Aw, are you getting cranky, Tomu? I’m almo-”

He licked along your folds before getting to your clit. He drew slow circles with his tongue before wrapping his lips around the sensitive bundle of nerves and sucking harshly. He flicked his tongue over your clit, adding a maddening amount of stimulation to the already overwhelming act. You squealed and tried to pull away, but his grip on you was too strong.

“ Oh fuck! It’s too much, I’m not gonna be able to - ah!- be able to focus on what I’m doing here!”

Tomura didn’t give a fuck about what you where trying to do. He cared about revenge. And if revenge came in the form of eating your pussy until you cried, then so be it. He had no plans of stopping : your bittersweet taste and your thighs squeezing his head was too damn good. He stopped sucking with a loud pop and shoved his tongue deep inside of you. He didn’t have a lot of experience ( he had 0 experience) but he had heard enough stories from his more socially savvy friends to know that you were supposed to keep your hands, mouth, or toys on the clit at all times. Keeping this advice in mind, he rubbed his thumb over your clit.

This was ridiculous. How was he this good at eating pussy? He was supposed to be the same as you: an inexperienced virgin. Maybe all that porn he watched did some good. You had no idea. All you knew for certain was that if he got the upper hand, you’d never hear the end of it. Your efforts had slowed due to Shigaraki’s distraction. You gripped his cock harder and moved your hand faster. Tomura moaned and bucked his hips. With the amount of precum that was leaking out, he had to be close.

He didn’t want to let you win, but your hand was making it impossible to focus. It was just so damn soft: nothing like his rough, calloused fist. Tomura had no idea how he was going to go back to his left hand after this. If your hand was this good, what was your cunt going to feel like? It really hit him then. He had been fantasizing about it for years, and now it was actually going to happen. He was going to fuck you. The mere thought of it caused the tension in his stomach to break, thick ropes of cum spurting out of his throbbing cock and landing on his torso. The look on his face was driving you insane: bright red, eyes rolled back in his skull, brows crinkled in a way you had always found adorable. You threaded your fingers through his hair with both hands and started desperately humping his face. You wanted to cum,needed to cum: you just wanted him to fuck you already. You had waited for years. You finally came with a wail, crushing his head between your thighs as you rode out the high of your long-awaited orgasm.

It took you several seconds to remember that your friend probably needed to breathe. You got off of him as quickly as you could on your trembling legs.

“ Are you okay, Shiggy? I didn’t mean to suffocate you: it just felt so good that I lost control…”

Shigaraki quickly sat up. He was doing great: just had the best nut of his entire life, got his head squeezed and his hair pulled, and he was going to lose his virginity to the girl he had pined over for nearly his entire life. How could he be doing anything other than amazing?!

“ I'm good.”

You looked at the mess all over his chest. How was it even possible to cum that much and still be hard? Was that just how much there always was? Did he need to see a doctor?

While the gears turned in your head, Tomura grabbed a shirt from the floor and wiped himself off, tossing the soiled fabric away once he was done. The sheer nastiness of that snapped you out of your confused state. You were about to say something when he beat you to it.

“ What position do you want to do?”

“Huh?”

“Y’know, like doggy, or cowgirl, or wheelbarrow-”

You didn’t think wheelbarrow was an actual position, but you really didn’t want to get into another argument right now. You were gonna call him out on it later, though.

“ I’d like to do missionary.”

Tomura nodded sagely. Missionary was a classic. A bit basic, but it would do.

“If you’re ready, let’s move on to the next level”

You nodded, too nervous to speak. He shuffled slowly towards you, hands shaking and arms outstretched. He needed to be cool about this: he came on a bit strong after your proposal earlier. You laid on your back and resisted the urge to cover your face with your hands. You had wanted this for such a long time, but he was just so big and he was seeing you naked and he was actually kind of muscular without his clothes on and- for fucks sake was he seriously drooling again?!

Shigaraki quickly wiped the drool away from his mouth. You were just so beautiful. You looked scared,though-was it the drooling? He couldn’t help that! He started to scratch his neck- a habit that he just couldn’t seem to break. Even if it meant that he wasn’t going to get to have sex today, he needed to make sure that you still wanted this.

“ Are you okay? We can… we can stop i-

“NO! I mean- n-no, I’m fine. Just- just be gentle, okay?

Gentle. He could do that. Just go slow, don’t go in all the way, and probably no biting. Wait, didn’t he need a condom? It must not be that big of a deal if you didn’t bother to bring it up, right? Yeah, he could just pull out.

Tomura grabbed the base of his cock and lined it at your entrance before carefully pushing inside of you. It didn’t hurt nearly as bad as you thought it would: it just stung a little bit. You had expected ripping, bleeding pain before seeing his dick, and kind of assumed you would die after seeing it in all it’s terrifying glory. But no! You were alive and thriving.

Your partner in crime, however, was having a significantly harder time. Your pussy made his fleshlight feel like sandpaper in comparison: he considered burning the stupid peice of silicone after you two were done for being so inferior to the real thing. The fleshlight wasn’t this tight, or this warm, and it didn’t twitch like your pussy did. He honestly felt kind of bad for the times that he used it while thinking of you- not for jacking off to you or anything like that, but for using that piece of shit as a stand-in. It was insulting. Shigaraki figured that it probably wasn’t the best idea to put it in all the way in,but it was taking every ounce of his self-control to not just slam in balls-deep and fuck you into the mattress.

….. Was he okay? There was a vein bulging on his forehead and he looked damn-near terrified. You were going to have to make the first move again. You put your hands on his waist and pulled him towards you until his hips were flush with yours. Despite the slow entrance, his cock hitting your cervix still knocked the air out of you. It hurt a bit more now, but not nearly enough to stop.

“ I-it’s okay Shiggy, it doesn’t hurt. You can move now..”

Tomura cautiously pulled backwards a few inches and pressed back inside just as carefully. His first couple of thrusts were a bit awkward, but he soon found a slow, steady rhythm.

You couldn’t believe how soft he was being. He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on your collar bone before moving to your breasts, licking your nipple before putting it in his mouth and sucking. His other hand was lightly caressing the opposing mound. It was all so sweet and tender that you almost wanted to cry: you knew that he didn’t feel the same way that you did. But for now, all you could do was stroke his hair and pretend that you were making love instead of just hooking up.

“Mmmmn, T-tomur-ah!”

This wasn’t fair! He had liked you for years, you were gasping and moaning underneath him, but something unpleasant was still prodding at the back of his thoughts. After this, you were going to find some strong, confident man to take his place. This was just practice. Shigaraki didn’t want this to be practice: he wanted you to be his last. He wanted to be your only. He buried his face in the crook of your neck and started to thrust into you harder. He wanted you to be all his.

“ Mmmineeee...”

Mine?! Did he just say “mine”?! Did he- did he feel the same way?! No, that couldn't be: you probably just misheard him.

“ um, w-what did you say?”

He snapped his head up and glared at you, his ruby eyes practically glowing.

“ I said mine! I want you to be mine! MY player two, MY pussy,MINE!”

With every repeat of mine he slammed into you a little harder, a little rougher.

“Come on, say it! Say you’ll be mine, (Y/N)!

You felt like such an idiot. Of course Tomura wasn’t going to say that he liked you- this was Tomura you were talking about. But he’d been showing it for years- walking you home, helping you win plushies at the arcade, dying on purpose so you would get a chance to play, giving you his hoodie whenever it was cold out…. How did you not notice? But he was never going to take the final step. So as per usual, it was up to you to take initiative. You put your hand on his cheek and smiled when he nuzzled into your touch.

“ I love you, Tomura. I’ve always been yours.”

He froze at your confession. Oh shit, did you go too far? Was the whole “mine” thing just his idea of dirty talk? Shigaraki pulled out and moved backwards. Just as you were about to say something, he grabbed your knees and moved your legs up until they were above your head. Was he seriously going to just ignore what you just said?! You just told him that you loved him, for fucks sake! Did all the blood rushing to his dick leave him braindead?

Shigaraki knew the look on your face well: narrowed eyes, pursed lips, puffed cheeks. Impatient and suspicious. He’d better not keep you waiting,then. He positioned himself so that his cock was dangling above your exposed hole and leaned in close until you two were nose to nose.

“ I love you too, (Y/N).”

With your confession returned, he slammed into your waiting cunt in one quick thrust, groaning as he was finally balls-deep inside of your warm,slick pussy. You squealed as he jackrabbited into your core with short, deep thrusts, hitting a spot inside that you’d never been able to reach. The headboard of the bed crashed against the wall loudly, creating a lewd orchestra alongside the squeaking of the bedsprings and your wanton moans. Tomura’s hair fell alongside your face in a soft curtain, making it so he was the only thing you could see. As if you’d look anywhere else.

“ I love you! I love you! I mean it, I love you! You’re gorgeous, you feel so good, I love you! I love you so fucking much! I love you! IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveIloveyouIloveyou-”

You pulled your babbling lover into a deep kiss as the knot inside of your stomach snapped. Your convulsing walls squeezed his cock in a vice grip as you came, nearly sending him over the edge .

“ C-can I cum inside? I don’t wanna pull out! I swear I’ll take responsibility if you get pre- i-if anything happens! Please, let me cum inside of you!”

You could barely think through your haze, so you just nodded your head. Of course he could cum inside: where else was it supposed to go? He wasn’t wearing a condom after all… you probably should’ve made him wear one. Oh well. That was a problem for future (Y/N) to worry about.

Tomura wrapped his arms around your waist and thrusted his hips one more time before

Blowing his load directly into your womb, spurt after spurt of creamy white filling you to the brim, tongue sticking out of his mouth as he howled with pleasure.

“Hhhhhhhhh…. I love youuuu…..”

He let out a contented sigh and flopped on top of you without bothering to take his cock out of your cum-filled pussy. He was too tired- he’d pull out after a nap. You were just as exhausted as he was- cleanup was just another issue future (Y/N) would have to deal with. You yawned and nuzzled into his neck before drifting into a peaceful, messy sleep.

End

_______________________________________

I wrote this after a debate with @libiraki about who’s dick was worse: Shigaraki or Dabi’s.

#i wrote it like a month after but still #shigaraki tomura #shigaraki x reader #smut #its nasty boy shig hours who tf is up #shiggy smut #childhood friends to lovers #quirkless au

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alltooreid · 3 years

Note

hi !!! first of congrats oh my gosh you deserve all of them and more :)

for the blurb celebration could you do a fluff for promot 30 with the reader having she/her pronouns? it could be like friends to lovers with like constant teasing banter and then theyre like oops i accidentally fell in live with you, ya dork? or whatever you want!

thank you so so much, you’re so sweet!! and i love this request omg!!

Prompt: #30: “i'm sick and tired of your attitude”

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Type: Fluffiest Fluff

Word Count: 1.1K

Content Warnings: None! (I think, please let me know if I’m missing something!)

***

“There’s my favorite loser!” Y/N said, ruffling her best friend Spencer Reid's hair as she walked past his desk. “So, what are you doing tonight babe?”

When Y/N started at the BAU, Spencer remembered being overwhelmed and nervous whenever she called him babe, until she called Morgan babe for getting her coffee and Garcia babe when she met her for the first time. What really confirmed for him that Y/N would call anything and everything babe is when she told Hotch “Good morning babe,” on pure accident because she was so used to using it in everyday conversation.

Now Y/N was his best friend, and he found her calling him babe kind of annoying and comical, instead of romantic and flirtatious. However, he couldn’t help but blush when she would ruffle or play with his hair. But Spencer had convinced himself that was a completely natural response, that it meant nothing, and that he definitely had no feelings for Y/N.

“Nothing, really. I’ll probably just stay home,” Spencer said. “I just bought a first edition copy of Pride and Prejudice that is practically begging to be read.”

She rolled her eyes over-dramatically, Spencer laughed, knowing she didn’t actually mean it and was just trying to mess with him. “Or you could do something way better. Instead of reading an incredibly boring book written in old English, you could come to my apartment and we could watch the movie! It’s really good, I promise even you’ll love it.”

Spencer smirked, “I don’t know, movie night sounds fun and all. . . Maybe I’ll see if Emily wants to watch it with me.”

She laughed, “Oh so now you’re too good for me huh?”

“Maybe I'm just sick and tired of your attitude Y/N,” he said while smiling, they both knew that wasn’t true at all. Spencer found it comforting that Y/N was just as humorous with him as she was with everyone else, sometimes even more so. He often felt that because he was awkward around his coworkers and didn’t always get their sarcasm or jokes that he wasn’t included in the more silly, mundane “water cooler talk.”

Sometimes when he would try to include himself, he would begin to ramble, and by the time he was done most of his friends had walked away. Even more times they would just interrupt him so that he would stop talking. Yet whenever he would attempt to make himself more conversational, everyone seemed to think it was stupid and a useless endeavor.

But with Y/N, Spencer knew she was willing to take the time to make jokes with him and listen to his interests. So when Y/N made fun of him, he knew that it wasn’t out of malice. He felt comfortable exchanging banter with her; he was never scared of annoying her or messing something up.

“I don’t know how much I believe that Reid. . . but if you insist I guess I’ll just have to see if Penelope would like this chocolate frosted donut with sprinkles…. What a shame.”

“Wait! Y/N I still definitely want that.”

“Well I’m sure Penelope does as well, and she likes my attitude,” she said, giggling as she walked away.

Not too long after however, Y/N was back, and surprised Spencer by hugging him from behind and nuzzling her head on his shoulder. “Just kidding dork, I would never do that to you,” she dropped the donut onto his desk, “but! I would consider it if you don’t come watch Pride and Prejudice with me tonight.”

He laughed “Don’t worry Y/N, I’ll be there.”

“Yes! I knew it! Pride and Prejudice is on! 7 pm, my apartment, and you better bring snacks.”

She squeezed him again, and then went back to her desk, spinning around a couple of times in her chair and smiling.

Spencer couldn’t help but smile as well, both at the sight in front of him and his newest realization, one that he had buried deep inside himself ever since Y/N started at the BAU.

He was in love with his best friend.

***

“Spencer! You’re finally here! Did you bring snacks?” Y/N said, practically jumping off her couch as Spencer let himself inside; she had a terrible habit of always leaving her door unlocked when she was home.

“What do you mean finally?” he asked, “I’m ten minutes early?”

“Yeah but I’m starving and I really wanna watch this movie,” she radiated excitement, “Now come sit down and cuddle with me.”

This was one of those things that should have made Spencer realize just how much he loved Y/N. Platonic cuddling was not something Spencer was used to, but when it came to Y/N he looked forward to it. Yet now the realization that it was only platonic on one end made Spencer feel awkward.

“You seem tense babe. What’s wrong?” Y/N asked.

“It’s nothing,” he lied.

“Don’t play that game with me Spencer, you’re my best friend. I love you, I know you better than I know myself, you can tell me anything.”

He sighed, “That’s the problem Y/N, you love me, but I realized today that I don’t just love you, I’m in love with you.”

Y/N’s mouth was wide open, and for a second when he looked at her Spencer thought he had ruined everything.

That was until she fit her mouth to his.

“I realized a week ago, it hit me like a truck. When I went to your apartment after the Oregon case, and you read me to sleep because it had affected me so much. I just remember lying there, eyes half shut, and thinking ‘I want to spend the rest of my life with this man, I want to come home to this every single night’ and that’s when I realized I was in love with you.”

“That’s a cuter story than mine, I realized this morning. Something in me finally said that there was no way best friends felt the way I feel around you.”

Y/N pushed his hair off his forehead and planted a kiss there, “Look at us dork,” she said with her lips still brushing the top of his head, “We accidentally fell in love with each other.”

Spencer smiled and then laughed, “Yeah, I guess we did.”

***

taglist!!: @reidingmelodies @hercleverboy @rigatonireid @muffin-cup @takeyourleap-of-faith @wheelsup @spenxerslut @averyhotchner @widow-cevans @laurnrnlds @samuel-de-champagne-problems

let me know if you would like to be added or removed!!

please reblog and let me know what you think!! :))

or send me direct feedback here!

thank you again for this request! if anyone else would like to send request for my 300 celebration please refer to these guidelines!!

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jaedreaminn · 3 years

Text

On The Bridge

Summary

The water under the bridge was luring but no as much as the boy on the bridge.

Or maybe you were just convincing yourself you liked the water because you hadn't met the boy yet...

Pairings: Renjun x fem!reader

Characters: Renjun, Doyoung «mentioned» Chenle, Taeyong.

About: Angst, recovery, comfort, semicolon, light humour, sad, Bitter-Sweet, open ending.

Word Count: 4.6k

WARNINGS

Mentions of suicide! Attempt at suicide! (Nothing graphic) Read with caution it gets heavy.

Toxic family relations.

Mentioned bullying.

Reader suffers from depression.

You sat on the thick railing of the bridge, legs dangling high above the moon lit waters. It was truly a beautiful and calming site, so peaceful and pure, the complete opposite of your thoughts.

Up on this bridge you were lost in a trance, trapped in a void of your own thoughts that were empty but at the same time raging.

You failed to notice a presence besides you so you were quite startled when a voice spoke asking you, "Why are you here?"

You blinked once at the pretty who sat next to you before calmly answering him, "To watch the water."

"You're not here to....umm..."

"Join the water?" You asked a small teasing smile creeping on you face and the boy seemed to curl into himself.

"Y-yea that" he stuttered.

"Yea I'm here to join the water." You said and he frowned, "But not today. I'll do that the moment my birthday ends" you said with a smile and he looked at you in awe.

"Leave this world a day after I arrived, won't that be cool?" You asked and he hesitated before nodding.

"It would be cool..." He said slowly sitting up straight.

"So you're here to jump too?" You asked, your words too bold and unfiltered for him.

"Oh- umm I, Y-yea" he stuttered, panicking and you smiled softly again.

"I don't think you will. You seem too cowardly to actually jump...I mean you couldn't even properly ask me if I was going to jump" you said with a shrug while the boy with blond hair (you just noticed) slowly calmed down.

"I am." He said with a small nod, "But I wasn't always scared it's just...." He trailed, biting his lip not sure whether to tell you or not.

"Just what?" you asked eyes innocently curiously, he held his breath for a minute contemplating whether to tell you or not and then sighed, "I used to sneak out and come here every night but every time my younger brother would know I was gone and would always follow me here" he said eyes glistening and you felt entrapped in his sullen gaze.

"And we'd sit here on this bridge every night talking about anything and everything. He was bubbly and carefree but always held onto my hand tightly as if he knew I would jump if he let go. But I could never tell if he knew or not because the only thing that was bluntly visible on his face was his million dollar smile." the boy said with a small twinkle in his eye.

"Where is he now?" You asked and a sad smile made its way to the boy’s soft features.

"He's shining as the brightest star in the sky" he replied, pointing up at no particular star.

"He was sick. Born a sick child, I always knew he was going to go early." the boy said and you felt sorry for him, the way he smiled sadly to himself holding the weight of losing a loved on his lean shoulders.

"I'm so"

"No don't say sorry, he lived a good life" he cut you off and for a few minutes the two of you just sat on the bridge silently, two broken souls.

"What's your name?" You finally asked and he looked hesitant before he spoke, "Huang Renjun"

"Hi Renjun I'm Kim y/n" you said offering him a smile with an enthusiastic wave.

"Hi y/n" he said with a small laugh at your gesture, which he found cute.

"So why do you still come here Renjun?" You asked and Renjun stilled, breathing slowly he spoke "I want to jump. I can't handle life anymore but every time it feels like someone's holding onto my arm..." He trailed off and you felt your heart sink, he lived only because of the memory of his brother.

"Why are you here y/n?" He asked, changing the topic.

"Me? Well...I recently shifted here with my parents. My brother stayed back but it's not like he lived with us. I hated my old school and my entire experience there. It scared me to the point I have an anxiety attack at the thought of going to any school so I'm being home schooled now. Home school isn't better though considering I'm stuck at home with the constant yelling. I'm invisible now almost as if I was never supposed to exist so that's what I'm here to do. To not exist." you said in one go biting your lip nervously at the thought of over sharing but Renjun smiled at you and you felt your nervous heartbeat calm down. You also noticed that he really was a beautiful boy because one small smile on his face looked so captivating to you.

"That's sad... I wish you didn't feel that way" he said earnestly and you felt something close to genuine happiness at that statement for a brief second.

"And I wish I was never born...it's not fair to me" you said with a sigh eyes fixed on the water again. Jumping into it and being lost in its current seemed like the most peaceful and joyful thing in the world to you. The coldness of the water and the darkness of the night wrapped around you like a blanket as you finally let go. It sounded perfect.

"What if you find a reason to live?" Renjun asked interrupting your thoughts and you frowned. There wasn't a reason, there never was going to be and even if there was one reason to live there were thousand other reasons to leave.

"What was your brother's name?" You asked changing the topic. Renjun smiled and simply answered, "Zhong Chenle" without prying any further.

And so you two bonded talking about anything and everything or nothing at all. And every night, like routine you went to the bridge and he was there. And that's how you made your first and probably your last friend.

It was on one of the more cheerful nights when Renjun was animatedly telling you about his baby brothers dolphin laugh and about how contagious it was that it had delayed his cake cutting by fifteen minutes because he couldn't stop laughing that you told Renjun when your birthday was.

"In two weeks!" Renjun exclaimed shocked, a frown plastered on his face.

"Yes in two weeks" you repeated with a small giggle at how cute his flustered self looked.

"But that's so soon" he subconsciously pouted rather cutely.

"Want to join me?" You asked even though you knew his answer.

"I would if I wasn't a coward" Renjun said with a frown and held your hand. "I'll miss you"

"At least someone will" you said with a dead laugh and Renjun frowned, for some reason he was convinced people knew you existed. And maybe they knew but if you didn't want to live it was your choice not theirs.

"My brother's in town and we used to be so close now it's only awkward small talk as if he hates talking to me" you said with a sarcastic laugh but it only sounded like a strangled cry and Renjun put a comforting hand on your shoulder not saying anything.

"And my parents...well they don't talk they yell" you scoffed, "They probably haven't even noticed I live with them by how occupied they are trying to hurt each other"

"And I never had any friends and I wouldn't call the people at my old school my friends...ever. They broke me and said that's just how they are or that I'm being dramatic. It was always just me. I'm always stuck outside as if I was never meant to be and maybe I'm not..." You said a sob escaping your lips after your outed your demons and Renjuns heart broke as he pulled you towards him and hugged you as you silently sniffed.

"Don’t worry you won't go alone, I'll come and say goodbye to you" he whispered in your ear and a small smile made its way to your face, glad that he understood you.

"I'd try to stop you but I know it's stupid to try to stop you when I myself want to jump so bad" he said as he tightened his hold around you and you lay your head on his chest. Renjun wasn't cold like the waters were but being in his embrace still brought you peace.

"How come you're waiting till after your birthday?" He asked you and a small smile made its way to your face, finally a question you wanted to answer. "Because that's the one day the yelling stops and everyone pretends like everything is fine and the one day they notice me. It's the one day I'm everyone's favourite and I want their last memory of me to be a happy one" you said, recollecting those rare happy memories as you listened to Renjuns heartbeat.

"I'll send you away happy too so you'd have one last happy memory too" he said resting his head on yours.

He was so warm but you didn't hate it as much as you did and suddenly the water looked too cold.

And so two weeks started to go by and your nights with Renjun got weirder and weirder, he would either be really talkative or extremely quiet. And not the comfortable quite you were used to, not when everything about his quite presence screamed THINKING LOUDLY. But it didn't bother you for too long.

The day of your birthday went as you predicted. Everyone was smiling and suddenly you were the center of everyone's attention. With fake smiles and happiness and peace that wouldn't last. At least their last memory of you was you smiling right? Maybe they won't feel guilty for too long because you were never supposed to exist. But at the same time you wanted them to hurt the way you did, to regret not being able to save you.

The day went by cheerful and night came, you kissed your parents good night and hugged your brother properly for the first time after he returned. You were pretty sure you shocked him a bit but it was your last good bye. You needed it. He was the one you cared for the most in your family.

Once night fell and you were sure everyone was too tired to care you creeped out towards the bridge walking there quickly in anticipation of Renjuns good bye so you frowned when you realised he wasn't there.

You looked at your phone, 11:45.

He still had fifteen minutes to arrive maybe he'd say goodbye to you then.

But it was soon 11:59 and no one had come onto the bridge other than a stray cat.

You frowned looking at the screen on your phone as tears made its way to your eyes, you were always meant to be die unnoticed and alone.

The numbers on the clock changed from 11:59 to 12:00 and you placed it down on the railing next to you as you leaned over to look at the water.

Stupid Renjun, his warmth made the cold water which you loved before seem too cold. But at least it was dark.

You placed your arms on both sides of the railings and gave yourself a slight push ready to slip and fall off but just then a hand clasped onto your arm and you turned around to look at a red faced Renjun.

"M-my brother used to...” he panted, out of breath and you looked at his pleading eyes worried. “He used to hold onto me and now I'm going to hold onto you" he said, breathing heavily from his run here.

"B-but you said you understood" you yelled anger bubbling inside of you, a frown making its way to your face, how could he stop you just because he was scared.

"I didn't understand two shits." He said sternly, standing up straight. "At first you inspired me and I thought that I'd finally have to courage to jump if I do it with you but then I didn't want to see you go....I already saw Chenle go without being able to do anything for my baby brother who wanted to live and here I was letting you go and thinking of taking my life, a life which Chenle could have never had. What an insult it would have been to his death if his brother who wasn't forced to die took his own life after his baby brother fought so much to live? And you! How could I just sit by and watch you take your life" he yelled as tears threatened to fall.

"So I decided not to come today but I care too much to not show up. So the only thing I can do right now is hold onto your arm to make sure you won't jump while talking about anything and everything until you forget about wanting to jump. Just like Chenle did for me." Renjun said hurriedly and desperately, face turning red and fresh tears falling out of his shining, determined eyes and you felt your heart sink as realisation of how real this situation was. His goal was to talk to you until you forgot why you were here but you just couldn't.

"B-but" you started to reason and Renjun shook his head. "No I'm holding onto you" he said, red eyes shining with a passion to keep you alive and you almost felt touched. Almost. This was supposed to be your escape but now one small boy with the voice of an angle has got you questioning everything? His eyes pleaded with you and he rambled about something that fell deaf to your ears as you glanced at the waters. It looked too cold and suddenly death seemed a bit scarier than before.

You closed your eyes, taking in a deep breath and you let yourself die away in the darkness. As you pressed each emotion you felt way under an invisible weight of the darkness that comforted you, that excited you, that promised you eternal peace. Maybe the water was too cold but the darkness was pulling you in and all it would take was one little push to let it consume you.

But the darkness was snatched away from you as a sudden bright light blinded your vision, it was someone's torch from their phone but you couldn't see who was holding it and neither could Renjun as he squinted trying to not look directly into the light.

"Y/n?" A voice called out and your eyes widened, in recognition.

"D-Doyoung?"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" he yelled pocketing his phone and running to you, yanking you off the railing and onto the pavement of the bridge.

"Are you mad? Why would you do that! What would I do if I lost you? How could you just think of leaving like that!" He yelled at you, tears shamelessly falling out of his eyes. You noticed he looked defeated but you didn't understand why.

"I-I’m sorry" you mumbled feeling obligated to apologise, looking away biting onto you lip hard, more embarrassed than scared that he caught you.

What you didn't know Doyoung’s mind was a whirlwind of regrets and flashbacks. Of hatred for himself for not noticing sooner for not coming to your aid sooner.

For how noisy his mind was to you it was silent. Too silent. He didn't say anything and now you were scared. Scared of what would happen, scared because no matter how much you tried to predict the outcome your mind remained blank.

"Ohhh what would I do if I lost you" he finally said breaking the silence and holding onto you so tight you were surprised none of your bones broke.

"I'm sorry." He broke into a sob, "I'm sorry I didn't notice sooner. I'm sorry I didn't take you away from there with me, I'm sorry I didn’t protect you at school. I'm so sorry I couldn't do more. But please don't do this y/n" he pleaded with a broken hopeless voice holding onto you tighter, "You're my baby sister and I won't be able to live with myself if I lost you" he sobbed into your hair holding you close to him and for the first time you felt fear, fear of what would happen if you left Doyoung behind.

"I should have protected you and should have just taken you with me not waited until I could prove to our parents I had money oh god" he continued to cry and it hurt your heart, how could you forget your brother's promise to take you away and protect you and how could you forget your promise to love with him. Live with him. You couldn't hold back either, clinging onto him for life as you cried. All the pain inside you finally breaking lose as you sobbed and sobbed in your brother's arms. And suddenly all the emotions that the darkness hid were out in the open and you felt every emotion all at once and it wasn't a burden like you expected but instead freeing.

The pain from the constant bullying, the neglect, having to deal with your parents fighting and then your brother moving out. You were alone and scared and all the emotions you bottled up came pouring out all at once. You felt faint and light headed but you couldn't stop crying your soul out.

You weren't brave but a coward just leaving without really putting up a fight. You felt yourself shift as Doyoung who had stopped crying slowly sat down with you still held tightly in his arms.

You sat on the cold road, head rested on your brother's chest as you listened to his heartbeat and he caressed you head as your sobs slowly died down. You were tired and might have fallen asleep there if it wasn't for your brother's cold voice startling you back into consciousness.

"Who are you?" your brother's asked tone so cold you would have been scared to be on the receiving end of it and that's when you realised- Renjun!

"Oh I'm her.... Friend?" Renjun questioned more than answered and you smiled at the flustered boy as your brother's eyes critically scanned him.

"He's Renjun" you said pulling away from your brother's embrace deciding to end the trembling boys suffering, "He was brave enough to not join me and even braver to stop me" you said smiling at the said brave boy (who was currently trembling under Doyoungs gaze). Doyoung gave Renjun a curt nod and got up to thank him.

You tried your best to hold in your laughter as you watched them awkwardly shake hands. It was definitely a start of a very awkward relationship.

...

You blinked your eyes open, your head was killing you and you felt like you woke up from a drug induced dream. Last night was all messed up for you and you weren't sure if it was real.

You lay there on your bed feeling drained to the core and empty inside. You felt awful. Like you shouldn't have woken up today morning, yet some part of you was secretly glad.

Your thoughts were interrupted by Doyoung who barged into you room and opened your curtains filling the room with bright light, you squinted, your eyes hurting at the sudden surplus of light but for the first time you were glad it was bright rather than dark as you saw your brother standing against the light, smiling at you.

"Get dressed Renjun should be here soon" he said and marched out of your room before you could react. You forced yourself to sit up, brain still not processing a word he had said.

It was a challenge getting ready, especially since all you wanted to do today was lay in bed but you got ready and walked to the kitchen where Doyoung placed a fresh plate of pancakes in front of you.

You smiled at him, sitting yourself down and digging into your breakfast when you stopped and realised how quite it was

"Ummm Doyoung where are..." You started to ask but Doyoung cut you off, "It's like you forgot last night." He scoffed but there was a very obvious smile on his face as if he was happy. You couldn't understand why he was so happy when all you felt was empty and awful after last night.

"They have gone for couples counselling but honestly I think it'll end in a divorce" Doyoung said it so casually that you sat there with your fork hovering in front of your mouth shocked. "Don’t be so surprised. I know it sucks but I'm old enough to take care of you and I'm taking you away with me this time. Let them sort out their own problems and don’t you dare blame yourself for their failed marriage okay." He said sternly walking towards you and feeding you the pancake himself since you just sat there frozen. "And I know they're kind of messed up but they do love us and they have taken care of us, maybe not emotionally but in...other ways" he said placing a hand on your head and you nodded, dumbfounded. You wanted to say something but didn't know what to say or ask so you just sat there watching him, confused. He smiled at that. Everything was happening so quickly it was still taking you time to process it especially after last nights... whirlwind of emotions.

"You can be mad at them y/n. You can be mad at me. You can be mad at whoever okay. Feel things again." He said placing a soft kiss on your forehead as he walked to answer the door.

When did the doorbell ring?

"Oh Renjun you're here!" You heard him happily exclaim and walk back into the kitchen, followed by a shy Renjun. You looked at Renjun confused but he only gave you a shy smile.

"What's going on?" You asked after you swallowed the food that was in your mouth.

"I'm taking you two for therapy" he said so casually as if he didn't forget to mention that to you and by the looks of it he forgot to tell Renjun too.

"But my parents..."

"Renjun I spoke to them and they agreed to it" Doyoung said interrupting Renjun who seemed to have trouble believing Doyoung as he looked at him accusingly.

"Okay I fought with them and they agreed. Plus they can't stop me all the way from China if you consent to this can they?" Doyoung asked with a smug grin and Renjun looked at him in disbelief.

"What why?" You asked still confused "when did all this happen?"

"I got it all arranged last night." Doyoung casually said again as if he didn't forget to tell the two of you all of this and turned to Renjun, "Would you like some pancakes too?"

Renjun flushed in embarrassment at Doyoungs gaze and you frowned.

"But why are you suddenly so invested in all this" you asked, your tone sounding colder than you intended it to be. You regretted your words when you saw hurt flash through Doyoung’s eyes for a second.

Doyoung’s gave you a wary smile before he spoke, "When I left three years ago I wasn't in a good place. But I met good people and I got help. The three years I avoided coming home was because I took that time to heal. And I feel selfish for leaving you but I hope you'll one day understand that I needed to be stronger to take care of you. So that's what I'm doing now."

"Why are you taking me too then?" Renjun asked, eyes downcast, looking disappointed. What you didn't know was that he was disappointed. Someone else was going to take the burden of taking care of him and he didn't like that. He didn't like being a burden. He burdened his parents so much that they left him and now the same thing was going to happen with the only nice people he knew. He was beyond disappointed.

"Because you need help. I have a friend in uni, his name is Lee Taeyong." A small smile made its way to Doyoung’s face, "He helped me out in ways no one else would. He took care of me and he made sure I was okay, he genuinely cared for me even though I wasn't very nice to him. At first I found him annoying but now he's one of the most important people in my life and I don't think I would ever be able to live without him, don't tell him that though. But the thing is he came to me and helped me I didn't go to him, so now I'm going to help you no matter how much you feel like you don't deserve it Renjun. No matter how annoying you think I am." Doyoung said, stubbornness shining in his eyes and Renjun stood there shocked and taken back.

"I also knew your brother" Doyoung said shocking Renjun for the second time in the past five minutes, "He was a child prodigy at SM University, musical talents unlike any other, he was so young and so week but so jovial. His parents loomed over him taking praises given to the kid as their own but that young boy couldn't care less about them. The only thing he would talk about was his brother waiting at home for him, his brother that took care of him, who played with him, who protected him from the monsters in the closet. He spoke about his brother that held his hand when his heart hurt. He spoke about how when he was sick the medicines could never put him to sleep the way his brothers voice would." Tears made their way to Renjuns eyes as memories of everything Doyoung had mentioned came flooding into his mind but he held them back, too stubborn to let them fall.

"Every time he came he would tell us about how handsome his brother was and how talented his brother was. He would brag about how he wanted to spend his whole life being this faceless boys little brother." Renjun sniffed, roughly wiping away his tears before they could leave his eyes as he looked at Doyoung who continued to speak. "I owe it to him, a small kid that really gave me a different view and perspective on life to take care of this amazing brother" Doyoung finished speaking and Renjun broke into a sob, turning away and hiding his face. You got up from where you were seated and walked to him, wrapping your arms around his shoulder from behind, hugging him. Your heart broke every time he shook because of a sob. And that's when you knew, you knew you didn't want to continue like this. This beautiful boy deserved a happy life and so did you. You may feel like shit right now but you were going to change that and you were going to help the blond headed boy who stopped you from taking your life genuinely smile too.

"It's going to be a long journey and I know the two of you feel like it would never get better but it will. And I'll be there for the both of you during that time" Doyoung said sincerely and you looked at Renjun who looked at you through teary but hopeful eyes. You brought your hand up to Renjuns face, wiping a tear away as you felt his fingers interlock with your free hand and smiled. He smiled back at you, eyes still shining with fresh tears and you looked at Doyoung who stood at the side with an unreadable expression (but you could make out the hint of pride on his face) and you gave him a single, sharp nod. "We're going to get better." You looked at Renjun, "We're going to move forward"

"We'll take baby steps"

This is the first time I've written something so heavy so feedback would really be appreciated.

Let me know about your thoughts on this story.

It took a long while to come to a final story line/plot and even longer for me to want to post this.

59 notes · View notes

hyukmoon · 3 years

Text

moon. | l.sy x gn!reader

lee sangyeon x gn!reader

word count: about 4.01k

to put it short: congrats! Something you should actually say, right? Your best friend and crush is getting married in two days and you feel,... well, not very good about it. So, wait... he's returning the feelings? Damn.

content warning: ANGST in capital letters, I would add lots of exclamation points but im lazy. So yeah, hella angsty. Some good old making out, it's kind of heavy at some point but no smut at this point lol. I don't condone any of the done actions, so yeah, I would've personally handled everything differently, but you know, y/n is kinda wild. Very awkward sometimes, but that's more the situation in itself. ALSO, NOT PROOFREAD

taglist: @loki-in-hogwarts

note: the second thing i wrote and im somewhat excited!!! Yes! Exclamation points. So,... thanks for reading :)

It was a great day. Well, at least seemingly for everyone but you. Your best friend in this world Sangyeon was about to get married to the love of his life, who is notyou and now you just stand in the hotel lobby waiting for it to happen. Funnily enough, the crushing feeling of desperation and fear didn’t seem to set in yet.

The hotel lobby was filled to the brim with acquaintances and other guests possibly confused by the uproar of the wedding guests. So, who were you specifically waiting for? The rest of your friend group, the ones who will most likely clean up after the wedding whatever will be left of you.

A nervous smile swept up to your lips, casually just avoiding every sort of tension that could come across you. Just with the luck of this entire occurrence an older woman started to approach you, demon alike features spreading around her face almost like she knew you were apparently the only single person here. An aunty, that wasn’t even related to you but had all the business to judge.

“Are you here for the bride or the groom?”, her sweet voice rang a familiar feeling in your stomach. Almost too sweet, making you suspicious of her intent. “I’m here for my best friend, Sangyeon. So, yeah, for the groom.”, you hesitated a second, “What about you though? Do you know the bride?”

“She’s my youngest niece, the only one that still visits, her sisters don’t even care anymore…” You nodded politely, not wanting to anger her now and stepped towards a different direction.

“So, my dear, are you here with anybody?” You already feared that question, the same as always. The eyes of yours started with a panicked expression searching through the room a familiar pair. “No, I am here on my own. I kinda wanted to focus on getting Sangyeon through with it, being there for him.” As a friend.

Possibly this was the first part of feeling despair and fear. People at this wedding were really waiting for them to get married. They weren’t joking, this would change everything.

“Ah, I see. You know, get over him. Well, it is time for you at least, you’re not getting younger. There are quite few handsome men here. I remember the names Juyeon and ah yes! Kevin, get over here!” As far as you were concerned, your facial expression couldn’t possibly look more stunned than a moment ago, yet another one of your good friends appeared, seemingly just as confused.

This only held on for a good second, Kevin knew exactly what to do. “Oh hi, I’m so sorry to steal [Y/N] away from you, but I actually need to talk to them on my own over a gift we both prepared for the couple!”, he grinned at the lady, who was obviously smitten with him. “Yes, of course, hun. Take your time.” She finally hushed into a separate direction.

“So, how are we doing? You seem kinda… stressed.”

“You don’t say”, you sighed, “if I have to go through a conversation like this again today, believe me I’ll-. “

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I get the sentiment. Even though I meant more the other situation. Like in, Sangyeon getting married and you sitting here all grumpy because of it.”, Kevin was already aware of your “small” infatuation with your best friend, a man too far out of your reach also funnily enough, the man’s wedding you’re attending. However, your friend in front of you didn’t seem to mind talking about it out loud in a place like the hotel lobby. Your lips tightened up into a fine line.

“I’m not grumpy! I just…I don’t really know what to do. I mean, I know I’m going to be there for him but yeah, okay, I might feel a bit grumpy.” The lobby did clear up a lot now.

“Okay, oof. There’s this dinner with everyone in the evening today, do you think you can get through that?”, Kevin asked hesitantly just as stressed with this additional complication.

“I mean, I probably have to, don’t I? This makes me so sick, ugh. Not gonna lie, my stomach feels like a laundry machine.” You laughed quietly and drifted off again into a place where you didn’t need to think about this.

“What did you really expect though? You know I love you, respectfully, but like, this feels like an incredibly bad move to do.”

“Don’t you think it would be worse if I didn’t show up at all? I’ll just need to go through this weekend and I’m outta here. No one will know anything.” It might feel like a nightmare but at least a nightmare you can actually run away from and not actually have to face at some point.

“Well, I hope you’ll keep your confidence. Because imagine I saw the person, I love getting married to someone else. Oh my, believe me, you wouldn’t find me for the next three weeks.”

“Not very helpful, a good three out of ten. I guess, I’ll just stick to sulking around then.” A dead smile crept up your lips following a stern look from your side at your opposite.

“Seems like a good plan, just stick to me, maybe we will find someone to take your attention away from this, huh?” A sly grin was visible on Kev’s face.

“Ughhh, of course. Let’s do this. It can’t get much worse than that”, you cleared your throat, “thanks, though. You actually make this here somewhat bearable.”

“Awww, come on. We should pack out our suitcases.”

No one can really prepare someone for a moment like this. Most older folk turned into their hotel rooms which left you in a party like situation seeing your closest friends turning it up in a huge pavilion while the future groom sits comfortably on a velvety sofa hand in hand with his fiancée.

The air was quite warm even at this time of the evening, not humid, just warm enough for everyone to taste the end of this era with nostalgia and a slight feeling of energy to experience what’s to come afterwards.

You as well sat down, continuously processing your environment. With a cup of your favorite drink, you felt invincible, nothing able to shake you down.

Now while this wasn’t a preferred environment, this was manageable; you could look your best friend into his eyes and proudly congratulate him on his wedding. You would be able to get over this and continue to be a great friend. Black hair with an intense facial expression made its way into your viewpoint along with a somewhat tipsy Kevin. Simultaneously the lighter hair of your best friend fought his way through the crowd.

Lee Sangyeon, the man lighting up your mood with simple touch of his fingertips was now signalizing for you to head outside towards the veranda of the pavilion. He exuded patience, yet clearly waiting for a response of you. You nodded and brushed cautiously over your evening attire.

“Hii, [Y/N]! Can I introduce this someone to you? This is Juyeon, he might look a bit intense, but he’s really nice to talk to! So, I’m gone for a sec then!” Kevin started drifting off into a different direction where you stopped him in his tracks.

“Could this wait? Sangyeon needs to talk to me. I think it’s important, I’ll come back though in a bit!” You gifted both of them an apologetic face and made your way around the men towards the going to be groom.

Surely it wasn’t exactly clear why he wanted to speak to you, especially on his own. He was still waiting for you after all.

“[Y/N]! What has it been? Like three? Four months? I missed you so much.”, Sangyeon pulled you into his chest abruptly and sighed softly into your shoulder. Engulfed entirely in his figure you never wanted to wake up from this again. Was it now 10 seconds? 15 seconds? Neither he nor you really seemed to let go, taking in all the scents of his that were formerly familiar to you.

“Yeah, I think so. You were probably busy planning this all and I just had to work, I guess.” Trying to keep it short was your main goal, appearing distant maybe. He didn’t mind at all though. Not discouraged from continuing this conversation Sangyeon pointed at the veranda, showing the only speck of space with little to no crowd.

The veranda was close to closed off to the party. Non distinguishable palm trees in the far distance were playing right into your cards for not having to look into his eyes. Magnetically glowing, that’s how he appeared. All happy and smiley about the obvious luck he was experiencing. Now again, he sat down with you in the beach chairs without loosing a word.

“The palm trees are so pretty. You remember me wanting to buy some new plants?”, you tried to invite him to the conversation.

“You always want to buy new plants, which time do you mean?” Sangyeon grinned to himself. “You know what? It’s so weird. Everything feels still so unreal. This wedding, also you at my wedding… So weird.”

“I am literally your best friend, where else should I be? Your funeral? At home? Who else is going to charm the hotel staff for some free capri suns and new towels?” Your mouth crinkled up and you let out a soft laugh.

“[Y/N] … You know exactly what I mean!”

“Noo, not at all. I’m so confused right now, not gonna lie.” Your face finally moved towards his direction, seeing his gentle gaze resting on you.

“Do you remember when we were still in school, and we promised each other we would marry each other if we didn’t find anybody else?” His gaze got more intense with each sentence.

“Yeahh, kind of. I was probably tired and it’s like ten years ago. I’m not really sure what you’re trying to tell me.”

“I really thought I was going to marry you. For several years, actually.”, he laughed. “I had such a crush on you and then you met your s/o and all that. Ughh, it seemed so complicated back then. Kind of weird to think about what could have happened if I did ask you out or something.”

“True.”, you turned away again standing up and resting against the wooden railing of the pavilion. “But you didn’t so, let’s just drop it there.” The weather as well started rebelling a bit, the wind hugging your figure slightly too tight for your taste.

“Why are you so cold all of a sudden?”, he whispered closely behind you.

“Well, you’re getting married tomorrow. And you’re telling me about a crush you had on me?”, you croaked.

“I was just being nostalgic, I thought this would be fine with you.” Sangyeon appeared now next to you on the railing, waiting for you to face his concerned dark eyes.

“It isn’t for me. It just feels wrong.”

“What feels so wrong about it? It was a long time ago.”

It is here, the bitterness. Bitterness shouldn’t even be the correct term, the pain of your heart going into a slump didn’t feel like a fitting word. Being reminded again that you will never have a chance again.

“Wait or is it not a long time ago for you?”, The voice of his tried to word his next sentence very carefully.

“I went out with them because I thought you were joking. Then when I thought about you, it was always different. It was too late though, you met her.” Only the close ocean along with the wind were hearable, neither you nor he were able to form another thought put into a sentence.

“You could’ve told me. I would’ve-.”

“Broken up with her?”

“No, I-.”

“Then what could you have done?”, you interrupted Sangyeon’s rambling, trembling while speaking. Terribly spiteful with a bite that wasn’t too often dripping down your lips.

“This.” Sangyeon pressed a fluttery kiss against your lips. Slender fingers tapped onto the skin right under your chin, signalizing you to look at him.

The now much calmer atmosphere made you snake your arms around his torso. Heat rose towards your head, longing after a second out in the cold again just to see his lovely facial expression. Your lips broke off and touched once more in an almost hypnotic fashion.

His hot breath started sliding downwards your cheek to your neck, physically making you unable to resist his entrancing presence. Also his hands broached over from your face down to your waist, holding you with the lightest touch.

Sangyeon’s lips darted away from yours, catching you staring deeply into his eyes. The silence felt warm now as well, filled with the slow and recovering breath of the participants.

“[Y/N], I think I still feel that way.”, a rosy blush swept over the man’s face you wanted to hear say these things so many times and so long ago.

“No. No. No. You shouldn’t! I shouldn’t either! I have to go.” The reality of the situation caught up to you. This was bad. Incredibly bad. Still the disgusting feeling of hope within this made its way up to your head. Stinging alongside the feeling of remorse, you didn’t think clearly, especially now, next to him.

You darted in the fastest way possible from the pavilion up to the hotel to your room, leaving him there.

Today should be the final day. The hopes that already should have been buried a long time ago, crawled up again and clawed its way into your mind. What if he leaves her for you today? Like in those unrealistic rom coms. Yes, again, it was unrealistic.

Leaving her at the altar and running after you. While all those thoughts of hope and wishes came together you found yourself with a stomachache. His fiancée was an incredibly nice person, sweet and kind along with being a beauty. You shouldn’t even dare to think about Sangyeon that way anymore, she deserved a lot more. Quite honestly, you felt pathetic. Who were you to run into their possible future?

Just because of a simple brush over the lips, his eyes staring into yours like no one else existed but you and his soft hands delicately touching your waist. A tap on your shoulder put you out of your trance, “[Y/N]? Can you go up to Sangyeon’s room? He asked for you.” Kevin’s eyes glanced at you with uncertainty. Neither you nor he knew why he wanted to see you.

Even more importantly, why did he need to see you alone? This seemed like dangerous territory after, basically yesterday. Agony rose again, what if he really was going to leave her?

“Sure, I don’t know why he wants to see me again though.”, you said and left to see the groom’s room. You stumbled more and more over every step closer to the door of the man who’s going to rip your heart and air out of your lungs. The normally soft laid out carpet felt in this moment like you were stepping barefoot over glass. There was the door, brightly painted in eggshell paired with the digits of the hotel room.

Before you could reach the door to knock on it, light brown waves greeted your overtly surprised face.

“You clean up well.”, Sangyeon’s rang in your ears clearer than freshly hung-up laundry in your nose. His previously concerned face curled up into a faint smile.

“Same goes for you”, you tried your best to hide the very apparent frog in your throat, “So, why do you need me?”

“Just needed to see you before going out there, I guess.”, his voice got a lot quieter. It got silent.

Not sure if a said word was necessary, you plopped down on a small, velvety stool. Every whisper was to be heard. An otherness surrounded Sangyeon, like he wasn’t there anymore, and his thoughts took over his being. You scooted closer towards him, just wanting to see him up close for the last time like this, smelling his earthy cologne from this distance.

“Why are you doing this to me?”, your voice went close to hoarse after the question. He was just as silent as before. No sound, nothing. This torment of a weekend was supposed to end with no gratification, not feeling free from this feeling on your chest? Your hand slid over his, the most desperate attempt to get his attention while also experiencing his touch again. Sangyeon jerked his hand back and returned to his absent posture.

“Why do you want to hurt me like this? I am your best friend, and you use me like I’m nothing.” The lack of power you had now made you sink down to the beige teddy carpet. Small tears started swelling up in your nearly dry eyes, kind of contradictory, yet the more tear drops rolled down your cheeks the rottener and hollow you felt.

“You were my best friend until you-.”, he stopped midsentence, “made me feel things again I didn’t need, I didn’t want.” Also his face was wet, ridden with tears making his usually calm and cheerful persona look like a painful insult.

“You asked me here. It hurts, Sangyeon. I can’t make it stop hurting, I don’t know what to do”, you reached for him again, “Could I ever be enough for you?” He returned your former attempts to stroke your face. Cornering both of you, the air trapped you in the toxins of heartbreak and hopelessness.

Once again, Sangyeon’s hand glid over your soft skin and halted on your face. Glaringly staring into each other’s eyes, you were there again. The day before, yesterday. Close to baring the soul of each person present.

“[Y/N], it’s not about being enough. It never has been. I have made a commitment I already broke, I…I can’t do this”, he sighed, “you know I love her.”

“I thought you loved me as well.” Overwhelming nothingness overruled you, almost scaring you about this reaction. You weren’t crying, yelling nor having any physical reaction at all. It was convincingly numb; the resting hurt would come later. Sangyeon’s head dropped in the dip of your shoulder and neck.

This sort of closeness would never happen again. You feeling him breathing into you while having his comforting heartbeat close to yours.

“I do, but I can’t do this to her. I would never do this to her.”, he whispered into your shoulder. A sigh came from his side.

“Then, please. Kiss me, for the last time.” The last part of the sentence left a disgustingly bitter taste in your mouth. This was over, right? His head, which was formerly resting on your shoulder, drifted up and towards yours. Also his expression blank and hollow, like he didn’t know anything.

For the last time, his hands cupped your face in a comfortable manner. As always, he felt homely, but he surely wasn’t yours ever. Not even waiting a good second or two, the light brunette’s face came closer to yours. With no hesitation both of your lips touched tenderly, releasing every sort of affection that could be expressed at that second. You inhaled again his intoxicating scent, in the hopes of having him all over you. His now reddened lips moved closer towards your jawline making you gasp for air.

Also, you weren’t completely still, constantly shifting your hands up and down over his torso upwards his neck, desperately feeling everything, you can for the last time. Sangyeon’s locks tickled you softly while he suddenly latched his mouth onto your neck right below your ear.

“No. Please, I just want a kiss on my lips.”, you said lowly, closely resembling a whine afterwards. He complied pretty quickly, leaving you with no thought but him tickling your bottom lip with his warm tongue. With him being this fast, you didn’t want to keep him on his toes. Entirely engaged in this moment, hands surprised you again on your waist, wandering closer and closer under the blouse you were wearing. You moaned into the kiss, making him take the opportunity to maneuver his tongue into your mouth.

Similarly to you, he was also stunned for a short moment when you grabbed up onto some strands of hair. A sigh left his now plump lips, a need of fresh air arrived onto both of you. Yet this was short lived, his hands captured your chin and attached his lips again onto yours in a matter of mere seconds. A bell rang, close footsteps to be heard across the floor reminding you of the situation you were in.

“Why am doing this? I am so sorry.”, you broke off his lips and took a step backwards at the door.

“[Y/N], we both did this, and it won’t happen again. We just need some time without each other. I think it would be for the best if we don’t spend time together alone anymore.”

“Are you doing what I think you’re doing? I don’t know what to say. I-.”, His lips captured yours again fast with a lot more force behind his kiss.

A strong arm shut the about to be opened door again and hovered over your head. The other one caught grabbed your chin with an almost contradictory feeling to it, the lightest touch just to shove you into his direction. You sighed into his lips, waiting for him to commit with his tongue one more time. Buttery lips pressed against yours and clang inside your mouth. Fiercely did your tongues meet, ending with him sucking on yours. Wet cheeks batting against each other with no intent of separating, your movement still came to a halt.

“You know what? I hate this. I want you to be happy, then if it is with her, I will just y’know…go or uhm mind my business.”, you slurred the last part. It wasn’t really one of your most prideful moments. Still flushed with tears and embarrassment you dropped again against the room door.

“I ask for one condition though,” incredibly hearse was your voice after the crying and even more so because of your follow up, “I do not not want to see you for some time, I don’t want to have to see your face ever again.” Tears weren’t anymore swelling up in your eyes, they never seemed to stop running down with no chance of leaving this conversation with an ounce of self-respect and pride.

It wasn’t even really much of a problem to leave him behind for a bit, it most likely would be for the best anyway, yet while his words should only leave a small mark and feel like a ripped off band aid, you felt alone. A sense of loneliness crept stealthily into you leaving you with nothing but a severe feeling of dread.

“If that is what you want, I’ll respect that.” The room got quieter till you heard the last of his words: “Of course, I still want you in on my wedding though, you’re still my best friend.” Sangyeon’s usual soft and kind smile appeared on his face, seemingly reaching you an olive branch. The former assertiveness and confidence drained through the conversation; you were nothing but a wreck.

“Alright, I’ll be there.”

The ceremony was beautiful. Fairy like flowers were hung all across the beach space, making the place more surreal than it was to begin with. Everything light with a hint of light green and an even lighter lavender tone. The air seemed to have evaporated all the tension and sadness from your face. All across the seats were relatives and friends sitting with a nervously happy face. Ironically, he really thought it was going to be you someday.

“You’re [Y/N], right? Everyone always tried to introduce me to you. Now we’re sitting next to each other at Sangyeon’s wedding together! I’m Juyeon by the way.”

#lee sangyeon x reader #sangyeon x reader #lee sangyeon #sangyeon #tbz #tbz fic #tbz angst #the boyz fic #the boyz #the boyz au #the boyz scenarios #sangyeon x you #sangyeon x y/n #the boyz x reader #sangyeon tbz #the boyz kevin #the boyz juyeon #moon kevin #lee juyeon

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cipheress-to-k-pop · 3 years

Text

Being Albedo’s Wife Would Include

Anonymous said: Albedo x Wife Reader HC,,,there aren't many works about him ;w;

A/N: I know right? There are barely any. Glad to fill that void tho, sorry it was so late I had my bio mock final just this morning.

You didn’t get married for love

Nope, never heard of it

Albedo actually dating and falling in love?

Nope

Albedo was nearly 19 and still had no mode of income

Since he was in and out of prison, he never had to really take care of himself

But since his last fight with Ben, he nearly lost all credibility in the villain world

And he went through rehab to turn over a new leaf

And he was trying

But he had no identity, no qualifications and no contacts

Not to mention no money

You were in college and were trying to find an apartment to live in

You found the perfect place

It was close to college, the price was right, it was in a good neighbourhood, fully furnished

Your perfect place

But unfortunately, the place was only letting in couples and families

No single college students because it could obviously turn out very badly

And then you find Albedo

“Are you my prince Charming?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Will you marry me?”

“I BEG YOUR PARDON?!”

And he’s like the answer to all your problems

You manage to convince him to get married to you

Pooled your money together to get him some identification and then get a marriage license

Framing your marriage certificate and placing it on the wall of your brand-new apartment

“It’s not like it’s an accomplishment of some sort or anything. There’s no need to put it on a trophy shelf.”

“No actually, it’s like a reminder. I feel like one day I’ll wake up and think this was some fever dream.”

“Makes sense.”

Arguing over who gets the bed

You offered to share and he said no

You told him to sleep on the couch and he said no

So, you came up with a schedule

Helping him sign up to take get his GED and always scolding him for not studying

But he doesn’t really need to study because he’s very smart

Now usually the time and cautiousness you take with each relationship is gone out the window

I mean you’re already married to the guy

Who heard of personal boundaries?

Now Albedo is not used to this so you always freak him out

The thing that freaks him out the most is when you get into the bathroom while he’s showering to get ready for class

Or when you get undressed while he’s in the same room

Albedo gets all the necessary qualifications and then with the help of the Plumbers, he gets a job as a teacher

Unfortunately, he becomes a teacher of the 1st grade

Does he enjoy it?

Not at all

But you think it’s absolutely adorable

You pick him up from school sometimes just to tease him

And he’s blushing red and just climbs into the car while all the children and leaving with their parents and waving goodbye to him

A lot of the girls having a crush on him

“Wow, looks like I should be afraid of these girls trying to steal my husband.”

“Please stop.”

You force him to have date nights with you

Which is usually just watching a movie on the couch with some chilli fries

But he always complains about it

But then goes through like 4 dishes of chilli fries

The turn in your relationship comes when he falls really sick one day

You obviously take him to the hospital and they give him some meds but you still have to take care of him

You do that whole pressing of a wet towel to his face to try and reduce his temperature

Making him chicken soup and crackers

With tea for his throat

Making sure he’s comfortable and even missing class to take care of him

You stayed awake late to make sure his temperature decreases

He wakes up the next day feeling so much better

And sees you asleep at the foot of his bed with a towel in your hand

And something in him just awakens

The thought that someone stayed awake to take care of him

Made him feel special

Made him feel loved

At first it was kind of awkward

He would blush like a school boy and try and avoid you

But you cornered him one day and forced it out of him

“I think I’m falling in love with you.”

You couldn’t help but laugh

“Well, that’s not the reaction I was expecting.”

“Albedo, it’s okay, I feel the same way.”

“Really? You do?”

“I mean we’re already married; it was bound to happen.”

And then it’s like you’re a brand-new couple

He gets so damn nervous before your first kiss

But you eventually learn to take the lead

He always pays good attention to you

Starts introducing you to people as his wife and very proudly

One day you both are at the grocery store

And guess who shows up?

Ben along with his partner Rook

You’re off in the snacks aisle so you don’t meet them first

Ben gets on edge immediately when he sees Albedo

Reaches for his omnitrix

And when you return it’s kind of tense

Albedo doesn’t really want to reveal too much of his life to Tennyson

But you can see how hostile he’s becoming

Stepping beside him and grabbing his arm affectionately

“Hey! Do you want pasta with chicken and potatoes for dinner? I’m craving some.”

“Who are you?”

“I’m his wife. Who are you?”

It was very rewarding to see their faces of pure shock

But Albedo is done af

And so, he just grabs your hands and leaves

Spends the next few months trying to get Ben off his back

“What are you doing here Tennyson?”

“Making sure you’re not doing something nefarious.”

“I’m buying flowers for my wife’s birthday, you dimwit.”

“Evil flowers maybe.”

And Rook is just pulling him out by the ear cu he’s disrupting business’

Albedo still gets kind of nervous about your relationship

And you just think he’s a cute little bean

But he also surprises you sometimes when he’s really suave

He likes giving back hugs

Drives you to class and picks you up

And a few of your friends are just like ‘damn (Y/N), you sure know how to pick ‘em’

Helps you study

If you’re pulling an all-nighter, then so is he

Totally is the kind to regulate your eating habits

Very observant and knows just how to make you feel less stressed

He’s not very affectionate

But he shows his love in other ways

Like drawing a bath for you when you’re stressed

Or offering to wash the dishes even though it’s your turn because he knows you’re tired

Sweetheart with a troubled past

Forever Taglist: @simonsbluee

#albedo x reader #albedo #ben tennyson #ben tennyson x reader #ben 10 omniverse #ben 10 ultimate alien #ben 10 alien force #ben 10 x reader #ben 10 fandom #ben 10 #ben ten #ben ten alien force #ben ten ultimate alien #ben ten omniverse #ben 10 albedo

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kekoma · 3 years

Text

— iwaizumi as your boyfriend.

no thoughts this time. just hajime. hope you enjoy.

ahh the lovely iwaizumi <3 aka iwa-chan~

another top tier boyfriend. can definitely bring him home to your family and they’ll love him automatically.

but before diving into what it’s like dating hajime, let’s warm up a bit and take a look at his crush stage with you.

actually takes him awhile to even realize he likes you more than a friend.

only picked up this feeling when he noticed that he finds himself extremely comfortable around you and that he didn’t like the concept of you dating someone if it wasn’t going to be him.

isn’t quick to act on his emotions though. no no no. matter of fact, no one even knows he has a crush on you (except for oikawa of course.)

hajime doesn’t show any signs of getting nervous when around you, attempting to distance himself from you because of fear he might slip or any of those antics. definitely isn’t the type of guy who spills to everyone that he likes you too. likes to keep to certain things to himself and you’re one of them.

just acts completely normal around you for the most part.

although he does end up studying you more than before and constantly thinking about how you might feel towards him.

but this won’t catch your attention since the subtle change doesn’t catch your attention automatically.

iwa does go out of his way to spend more time with you when he decides that he actually wants to be with you.

“hey y/n, a new cafe opened up a few blocks from school. i was thinking we should go there together for lunch.”

“oh? sure but i thought you had something to do during lunch?”

“i did but i rearranged it for later since i wanted to eat with you today.”

of course he asked oikawa for some type of advice/help when it came to asking you since iwa didn’t want to come off as boring or cheesy when asking you out.

may or may not have wrecked his brains with different ideas about how to go about it which is why he went to his best friend for help.

“i can’t think of proper way to confess to y/n... hey dumbass, if you really liked someone, how would you ask them out?”

“first of all, rude. can’t believe that’s how you treat a good friend like me. anyways it’s simple my dear friend. i would go up to them during lunch, flash a charming smile, and just ask them to be mine. it’s cute, right?”

“... so let me ask you this since you decided to be funny. should i beat your ass now or later?”

“hey! you asked and i gave you an honest answer!”

“ah so now? gotcha shittykawa.”

iwaizumi ends up asking you during one your countless late night runs for snacks.

wasn’t anything super romantic yet it wasn’t completely boring/awkward either.

iwa went for a straight forward approach (not like ushijima straightforward).

basically explained how he’s been feeling towards you lately and that he wants you to be his. of course when you accepted is confession and expressed how you felt the same— hajime couldn’t stop smiling like a fool.

side fact: he thought about going for a somewhat flirty approach at first by saying how cute you looked in his hoodie and if you really liked wearing his clothes then he wouldn’t mind supplying you with more without hounding you to return them after awhile.

however, iwa thought it sounded odd so he ended up confessing to you in a normal manner to avoid any kind of embarrassment.

now we can dig into the main course meal here: what’s its like dating hajime.

three words that come to mind with him... dependable, caring, and attentive.

starting with attentive, he doesn’t miss a beat if something is wrong with you.

due to constantly studying you previously (and still to this day), learning and picking up the habits you have— he’s able to figure out when things aren’t right with you so hiding your feelings isn’t an option for you love.

although if you attempt to hide them then don’t be surprised when he pulls you aside and confronts you about it. of course, it won’t be anything harsh like but more on the “hey you’re acting strange and this isn’t something i’m going to drop.” side of things.

this is when caring comes into play. iwaizumi isn’t the type of boyfriend that’s oblivious towards your emotions/moods nor does he leave you be.

will also add that he has made it known countless times to you that if anything bothers you then he wants to know in hopes that he can solve the issues.

but if you’re someone who isn’t up to talk about the issues just yet then he’ll be understandable— won’t push too far but will give you a prep talk in hopes that can it lighten your mood. which i will label that as dependable playing it’s role.

to add more for dependable, i’ll mention that he’s the type of boyfriend that will wake up in the middle of the night, early in the morning or whatever time if you called him about going through any type of mental issues (having a break down, panic attack, etc.). he’ll rush over the minute he heard your voice and of course he ends up bringing items that could comfort you.

we stan and love that about him.

moving along, i’ve already mentioned that hajime remembers things about you but it’s not just emotional wise. matter of fact he knows what your favorite foods are, drinks, kind of aesthetic/style you go for, places you want to visit, hobbies, and all of the good stuff.

if he were to ever be tested about how good he knows you, mans is getting an 100. can’t convince me otherwise.

the type of boyfriend who’s supportive of everything and anything you do. makes it known that he’s your number one fan and believes in you.

won’t let you overwork yourself. hajime constantly makes sure your health is in good condition, but it you happen to get sick then best believe he’s showing up to your place with medicine and bringing you back to normal.

iwa purposely leaves his hoodies and shirts at your place since he knows you’ll end up wearing them and when you return them, they smell like you. he likes your scent.

he typically likes to gift you things he saw in the stores that reminded him of you as well as giving you flowers. sometimes you have to ask him to relax on the gifts because your room can’t handle it all.

hands down, DEADASS can’t convince me he DOESN’T, is the type of boyfriend who will throw hands at anyone who flirts with you or attempts to touch you.

like he would come back from getting something, visiting you at work or however you want to picture the scenarios and would see some lame guy trying to spit game at you.

the minute he notices him, iwaizumi is coming in to save the day. tries not to take the violence approach at first, but the minute that other dude says something disrespectful then his whole career is over.

hajime beats ass for a living so beating that man up was no problem, but getting him off of the dude is because the only thing on iwa’s mind is murder.

may even stomp his lights out and then go with a smirk.

anywaysss pda? pda.

iwaizumi is surprisingly comfortable but also a tad bit awkward with it. tries to avoid it sometimes because he doesn’t want others to notice just how soft he is with you/be made fun of.

but in public, the most iwa will do is the basic (with your permission of course because this man refuses to do anything if he doesn’t hear that you’re okay with what he does with you). such as holding hands, gives small kisses on your face that isn’t deemed too inappropriate, holding you in his arms/hugging, and all that good cutesy stuff.

two things he likes with you is piggy back rides and when you ruffle his hair.

with piggy back ride, for some reason it makes him feel all warm inside and he does it instantly the minute the words slip from your lips. sometimes he’ll offer one if you don’t ask him first. other times, he’ll offer them to you if he notices you’re too tired or your heels are hurting your feet.

when it comes to ruffling his hair.. he may act like it bothers him to the MAX sometimes but deep down this man loves it. just doesn’t want to admit to it just yet. the feeling of your hands in his hair is like floating on cloud nine for him.

as for private; of course cuddling is on this list. dude loves feeling you close to him and may even fall asleep while cuddling. don’t think positions really matter (unless notices that you’re trying to big spoon him).

definitely more touchy with you, but of course consent is key so he never goes too far with his touches/stops when you ask him to.

going to dates now~

dates with iwa is a mix of sporty and chill. will also add that sometimes it’s random.

like he’ll pick you up from class and suddenly say “let’s go on a date.” while you’re standing there a bit confused.

although if you aren’t someone who’s into sporty type of dates then he’ll always opted for the chill ones which is basically going to the arcades, laser tag, roller skating, paintball centers, go karting and etc.

shows more of his romantic side with the dates and you actually find out how soft he can really be. vv cute.

of course some of the dates won’t only be you two since oikawa tries his best to sneak himself in so he can be the third wheel that takes bomb ass pictures of you and just watch over you two like a parent.

“aren’t you tried of third wheeling oikawa?”

“oh no. never. besides without me, iwa here wouldn’t have any good pictures to post on his instagram... we both know he isn’t good at taking pictures.”

“i-... right right.”

gonna end it here before my brain overheats just a bit, but dating iwaizumi is worth it and each moment with him makings you fall in love with him all over again.

definitely gets the trophy for being the best boyfriend ever and you’re the luckiest person ever to have his heart.

something i forgot to add earlier— his top nicknames for you are; princess, dummy/idiot/stupid, babe/baby, and occasionally he’ll call you his munchkin <3

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ragingpancake · 3 years

Text

Hotel California

A/N: An Earthside AU wherein John is a college student on his way to Spring Break and Rodney is a hotel receptionist. NC-17. Reposted from my old AO3 account.

The midnight sky is gray and muggy, thick with heat and humidity. The air conditioner stopped working over a hundred miles ago and even the air flowing through the open windows isn't enough to cool the sweat beading on John's forehead.

In the passenger seat, Teyla's stretched out, humming along quietly with the static on the radio as Ronon sleeps on in the backseat, oblivious to each passing mile.

John reaches out and changes the station.

"I was listening to that," Teyla says dryly as the low twang of a country guitar fills the car. John gives her a sleepy smile in return and thumps his fingers against the steering wheel, drumming along with the beat in a last ditch effort to keep himself awake. "Perhaps it would be wise if I took over for awhile?"

"I'm good," John says dismissively. He trusts Teyla's driving almost as much as he trusts her cooking, which is to say not at all.

"I have been practicing."

"Not nearly enough for my liking," John says, grinning to take the sting out of the words. Teyla just rolls her eyes and goes back to staring out at the endless stretch of empty highway in front of them.

Driving out to California in Ronon's grandfather's beat up old station wagon hadn't been John's best idea. He's cutting two full days off their spring break with the drive there and back, but since Teyla had apparently grown up under a rock and had never taken a road trip, John and Ronon decided that their yearly trip to Long Beach was the perfect remedy.

"If you will not let me drive, maybe you would at least consider stopping for the night? We still have another five hours ahead of us and I would like to make it alive."

"Your faith in me is astounding."

"Much like your faith in me," she smirks. "Now please, find the nearest motel and pull over. I'm sick of looking at the inside of this car."

John can't argue with that.

---

It's another twenty miles and another state line until he finds a motel and by the time he climbs out of the car, he has to admit that stopping was definitely the right call; there's no way he would have made it another four hours and forty minutes.

Ronon grunts and snorts as Teyla smacks him awake. He's annoyed that they've stopped and he wants to take over driving so they can keep going, but John trusts his driving less than he trusts Teyla's. He's seen what Ronon has done to the trash cans outside of their apartment just trying to back out of the parking space.

"It's stupid to stop," Ronon grumbles as they trudge into the lobby of the seemingly deserted motel.

"I would rather get a few hours of solid sleep and then hit the road. If we continue to drive, we will be no good for anything tomorrow," Teyla says solemnly.

"Don't need sleep to surf."

"This is true, but I need sleep to finish the drive, so I say we're staying and sleeping," John says. Ronon stands just a little straighter and blinks lazily at John in what's most likely an attempt to intimidate him. It would work under other circumstances maybe, but John's just too tired to care so he waves Ronon off and slouches against the front desk, slapping his hand down on the bell.

It reverberates, echoing throughout the empty lobby.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hold your horses, I'm coming." The voice comes out of nowhere and whoever it belongs to sounds annoyed at the interruption. Seconds later, a skinny kid stomps out from behind a curtain, looking harassed and harried. He's wearing a pair of dark slacks that are at least a size too big and a white uniform shirt that's partially untucked and stained. His name tag reads 'Rodney'. "What do you want?"

"You get many people in here lookin' for something other than a room?" John drawls lazily.

Rodney snorts. "You'd be surprised. Double beds or...?"

John grins. "Double."

John watches as his fingers fly over the keyboard seemingly of their own accord. "Unfortunately, the only available room I have is a king with a pull out couch. Sorry." He doesn't sound very sorry about that.

It's not ideal, but John's exhausted and he'll be damned if he's getting back in that car. At least not until he's had a good five hours of sleep.

"John," Teyla says.

"We'll take it."

"Suit yourself. That'll be thirty five for the night."

John makes quick work of paying Rodney but he has to force himself to ignore the slight tingle when the tips of their fingers brush together. It has nothing to do, he tells himself, with the kissably crooked mouth or the hair that's curled almost delicately just above the nape of Rodney's pale neck.

Rodney stares at John for just a moment too long and John knows that he felt it too, but he pushes the thought out of his mind. "Right," Rodney says, clearing his throat. "If you'll just... follow me, I'll take you to your room."

It isn't easy, John thinks, to not stare at the barely-there outline of Rodney's ass. The baggy pants do a good job at concealing what's really underneath, but John sees enough to know what he wouldn't mind sliding into it.

He's halfway hard when Rodney slips the key card into the lock and pushes the door open. The hotel room is as nondescript and boring as every other hotel he's ever stayed in and after a quick once over, John's eyes return to Rodney just in time to catch Rodney staring. Again.

John can't help but smirk just a little.

Rodney flushes beautifully; he turns pink from the tips of his ears all the way down to his neck as he averts his eyes. "I um... I'll leave you to it, but if you need anything..."

"I know where to find you," John says.

Rodney nods, turns away and practically sprints down the hall.

---

The couch is worse than the one in their apartment, John decides as he tosses and turns, trying to find a comfortable position. Teyla and Ronon are already fast asleep, sprawled out comfortably on the large bed. John hates them just a little; he would have been more comfortable sleeping in the car.

He gives it another ten minutes and when he's no closer to sleep, he climbs off the couch and stalks out of the room, cursing Ronon and his ability to sleep anywhere and Teyla for being... well, for being Teyla.

He doesn't know where he's going and he's not sure what he's doing until he steps into the lobby.

Rodney's sitting at the front desk, hunched over something and John's cock twitches to life almost immediately.

"Hey," he calls before he can stop himself.

Rodney startles and looks up, blue eyes wide in surprise. "Uh... what... did you need something?"

He does, but John really doesn't know if it's something Rodney's willing to give but it doesn't stop him from slinking over to the desk. "What are you working on?" He asks conversationally. Mentally, he's kicking his own lame ass.

"Nothing that can't wait until later," Rodney says and then he flushes again and John can read the worry on his face; he's wondering if he's misjudged the situation.

"Cool," John says lazily. "You know, the couches in these rooms really suck."

"Yeah," Rodney agrees, clearing his throat just a little. He looks nervous and excited so John relaxes just a little bit.

"Don't happen to know a place that's a little more comfortable, do you?"

"As a matter of fact..." Rodney says.

---

Kissing Rodney is exactly like John thought it would be; his lips are incredibly kissable, but he's clumsy and awkward. It should turn John off, but it strangely enough, it doesn't. It just leaves him wanting more.

When they break apart, Rodney's breathing heavily, shoulders and chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath. His mousy brown hair is soaked to his forehead because even though it's a million and five degrees outside, apparently hotels don't believe in air conditioning their employee break room.

"It's hot as fuck," Rodney complains.

"Gonna get hotter," John says and leans forward, capturing Rodney's lips again.

---

The next time they break apart, Rodney's naked and writhing beneath John. He's about two thrusts away from shamelessly humping John's leg as John takes his time undressing himself.

"Torture," Rodney wheezes.

John responds by leaning over and swallowing Rodney's cock.

It's effective in shutting him up.

At least for a minute.

John has had a series of one night stands before. Plenty of college guys--and girls because he's not picky--but none have been as vocal about being fucked as Rodney.

When John finally slides in between those round ass cheeks, Rodney moans and whines and pleads and begs. He arches against John, crying out for more, more, more and John doesn't hold back. He thrusts against Rodney over and over, burying himself deeper and deeper each time.

"Fuck, Rodney," John gasps and he can already feel the orgasm building low in his belly. It hasn't been this quick since the first time Kenny Lewis blew him in the passenger seat of his uncle's van, but it doesn't matter because he can feel Rodney already trembling beneath him, his cock red and weeping between them.

He's close, but Rodney's closer.

Rodney's whimpering now and clinging to John harder with every thrust. He'll have marks and bruises for days, he thinks, but it's worth it when Rodney cries out and John feels the warm spray of come on his chest.

He leans down and buries his face against Rodney's neck as he rocks his hips desperately, torn between needing to come and wanting to prolong it.

He tries to hold out, but suddenly he's coming hard enough that his vision goes hazy and when he's finally spent, he collapses on top of Rodney, breathing heavily.

John rolls off of Rodney after a minute and reaches for his discarded boxers to clean himself up. It feels wrong to just dress and go, so instead, he slumps back against the couch beside Rodney, their shoulders brushing occasionally. John thinks he should say something, but he isn't sure what.

It's Rodney who breaks the ice.

"That was..."

"Yeah," John agrees. "I should..."

"Yeah."

John doesn't move.

---

When John jogs into the lobby late the next morning to check out, he's surprised to find Rodney still hunched behind the counter, staring at a text book. He doesn't seem to hear John approach, so John clears his throat, grinning when Rodney jumps at the sound.

"What?"

John drops the key card onto the counter and slides it towards him. "Just thought I'd come say goodbye. We're heading out."

"Where to?"

"Long Beach... four days of nothing but surf and sand."

"Thrilling," Rodney says dryly. He takes the key card and clicks the computer keys. "You um... come this way often?"

"Just once a year," John says and he thinks he imagines Rodney's face falling just a little.

"Well then..." Rodney says.

"Yeah," John agrees. "I uh... my friends are waiting for me at the car, but I just..."

"You should go."

"Yeah. I..." John sighs and turns. He takes a step toward the doorway and then stops. "Hey Rodney?"

"Yeah?"

"Maybe... maybe on our way back through..." He trails off.

Rodney looks hopeful. "If you need anything..."

"I know where to find you," John grins before he turns and walks out of the lobby.

#sga fic #fandom: sga #stargate atlantis #mcshep #pairing: mcshep #sexytimes #john sheppard/rodney mckay #john sheppard #rodney mckay #ronon dex #teyla emmagan #earthside AU

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chefrat · 3 years

Text

Liar, Liar, Pants on fire

pairings: Cheater!Oikawa X Reader, Iwaizumi X Reader

type: im not sure, first date??

word-count: 3.9k

warnings: cursing, mentions of cheating

A/N: I haven't been sleeping well so I’m reeeaaallly tired but here's something thats really bad written but I felt like I should post to not lose the habit so yea :////// I hope its ok, I could of definitely ended it better and maybe I’ll rewrite it one day but I just felt like finishing it in one night when while I’m my worst. Stuff at home have also not been at all pretty, lots of arguing that have nothing to do with me. oh im so tired :((( I really wish it was easy to sleep

______________

You weren’t sure of what you were going to say or even do but the way Oikawa’s eyes widened and the way his hand pushed her off was enough to let you know he was being unfaithful. But your decision had been final on leaving him weeks ago. One might think you were jumping to conclusions but when you noticed them walking together, hand in hand for the last couple of minutes it was enough to let you know what was going on. Not only that but not only were they giggling to each other, sharing loving pecks but just the way the both were standing so close told so much about their relationship. Iwaizumi was also kind enough to let you know a while ago, he knew telling you would be like betraying his best friend but he couldn’t hold back knowing that it was all wrong. To be honest, you couldn’t help but feel relief about the cheating taking Iwaizumi by surprise. You were thinking of ways to lay it on Oikawa, trying to figure out ways to end things with the setter but none of it ever felt right.

“How long has he been… you know?” Iwaizumi sighed, shifting on the bench you both shared.

“I don’t know. I figured it out just a week ago, thought I’d tell you before it could go any longer.” He looked over at you, it was obvious he cared about you. He has always cared about you, thats what friends do. Care for each other. Though, some people could say he cared a little bit too much.

“Thank you…it’s ok. I’ll talk to him, stuff happens.” You shrugged your shoulders but Iwaizumi sat in silence, waiting. He was waiting to comfort you if you cried, or even hold you if all you needed was just a hug. That’s how he always received you, with open arms and a shoulder to cry on.

“Why aren’t you upset? Don’t tell me you’re going to forgive that shit for brains boyfriend of yours. Please, You deserve way better.” His hand went to grab yours and you let his warmth come in contact with your own freezing hand. Iwaizumi’s grip on your hand never easing, begging you with his touch to not go back to his best friend.

“God, no. It’s just… you know how sometimes you lose feelings for someone and you can’t really explain it. Don’t get me wrong, sure it hurts and I still care deeply for him but romantically. Romantically my feelings changed, Iwa.”

“It’s not what it looks like.” Oikawa grinned, trying to save face, he took long strides towards you. You frowned, shaking your head at him making him stop on his tracks. “I know what it is. Just don’t make a scene, please. We can talk later.” He was confused, maybe even a little mad that you had asked him to not make a scene. He could only watch you walk away as his other girlfriend stood a few feet away, waiting until the coast was clear. The way she grabbed onto his arm to take his attention away made his stomach twist. Oikawa couldn’t help but feel sick, the wave of nausea hitting him harder and harder each step you took away from him. “I’m gonna go home, I’ll call you later.” She looked at him confused, not wanting to leave him just yet. Especially not now when he’s feeling so vulnerable after seeing you.

It had been a week after Oikawa had been caught with his second girlfriend by you and just a few days after having a talk with him. The both of you were mature about it, talking through your problems and even forgiving him but breaking up in the process. You still shared the same friends, the same class, and the same best friend. Iwaizumi thanked you mentally for not saying anything to Oikawa about him coming to you and letting you know about his unfaithfulness. The three of you still tried to at least save the friendship, even if it felt pretty awkward to Oikawa. He couldn’t help but just feel like there was something wrong, the way you dismissed it all, it almost felt like you were eager to break up with him. Eager to get away from him so fast.

Your laugh took him out of his train of thoughts, he looked over to you sitting next to a sweating Iwaizumi. His own sweat rolled down his back. You would always stay back during their practice, thats how close the three of you were.

Lately it seemed like you were only close to one of them though. He couldn’t blame you, he practically ruined all sorts of relationships with you. Even his own friend had way more courage to call him out on his bullshit. The way you reacted towards the cheating, it just didn’t make him feel good. At all. Was he being an asshole if he expected you to at least cry, maybe yell at him or even try to argue? ‘Just don’t make a scene, please’ maybe he did want to make a scene. He couldn’t do that to you, right? Unfortunately, word got out own how the relationship ended and it was already enough humiliation for the both of you. Making a scene would just make it all types of worse.

Oikawa made it towards where the both of you sat, his cocky grin on display. It faltered once he took in the conversation between his best friend and ex-girlfriend. “I’ll walk you home then.” Iwaizumi said, pinching the skin on your elbow making you swat his hand away with a giggle. Walking home was usually Oikawa’s doing, especially while he was your boyfriend. So why now were you asking Iwaizumi, or did he offer?

The conversation died down once he took his seat next to his best friend without saying a word. It almost felt like you guys were purposely excluding him from your guys conversation or even keeping secrets with each other. He couldn’t help but feel paranoid by the way you both acted alone and around him. Even though he had no right to feel jealous, he just couldn’t help himself.

“You’re walking her home? I thought we were going to hangout after practice.” Oikawa frowned towards his friend, making him tense in his seat. “Sorry, it just gets really dark nowadays. I can’t have her walking home alone.”

He smiled, letting his own personal feelings get the best of him. “I’ll come with you guys then!”

And it went on like that for a while. Always including himself and sometimes even receiving annoyed looks from his own best friend. Oikawa wasn’t dumb, he knew there was at least a little something happening with the both of you but he was in no place to say anything. Or at least thats how Iwaizumi thought of it. Trying to get close to your best friends ex-girlfriend sounds horrible but when he cheats on her, it cancels out the horribleness of it, right? The only way Iwaizumi could get closer to you without Oikawa butting in was with late night talks. It was something the both of you looked forward to. Sometimes he’d be way too tired to keep up conversation but he would fight through it for you.

“So, what do you say? Do you want to?” Iwaizumi asked, laying on his back. He held his phone up to his ear while he used his other hand to rub his neck, massaging out a sore area from practice.

You giggled nervously, laying on your back as well on your bed and staring up at your ceiling. Your heart thumping against your ribcage almost as if it would jump out. He made you nervous, but a good nervous. The type of feelings you once had for Oikawa, but a little more stronger, and a whole lot more honest. “I’d love to.”

It sounded as if something fell through the phone, probably something he had hanging up that didn’t hold on anymore but instead it was a very excited Iwaizumi who had rushed off of their bed, and accidentally kicking his nightstand sending his clock flying off in the process. He hissed at the pain he felt on his foot but also silently cheered hearing you agree to his date for the upcoming weekend. “Are you okay?” You giggled again making him blush. “Yea, sorry. I just got a little too excited.” Again with the butterflies, you smiled.

“Be careful, I want you in one piece for when we finally go out.” He blushed even harder at your words, you really did have a strong affect on him. Iwaizumi’s phone started to vibrate from an incoming call, he pulled his phone from his ear and mumbling a quick ‘give me a second’ to you as he went to go check the caller id.

He frowned, Oikawa.

“Can I call you back? Oikawa’s calling me right now…” The brunette could hear you sigh. Oikawa seemed to have a sixth sense for whenever Iwaizumi tried to spend some time with you alone, even through a phone call.

“Ok, be safe and goodni-“

“No, I changed my mind. He can wait, I rather talk to you.” Iwaizumi said, cutting you off. If only he could see you now, a smile on your face and blushing. The conversation continued on even when Oikawa wouldn’t quit on calling but all Iwaizumi could do was send him to voicemail. Six times to voicemail and he still couldn’t get the hint that he was busy. But he was too focused on you to care about what Oikawa was so desperate to talk to him about.

He couldn’t help but feel happy whenever you would talk about your day even though he had mostly spent half of it with you. Even more happy when you kept reminding him about the date and trying your best to get information out of him on where he was going to take you. You felt warmth in your chest when you got to hear him stammer with his own words whenever you knew you made him nervous with your questions.

“Is he still calling you? Maybe you should answer him.” It could have been an emergency or maybe it was just him being annoying Iwaizumi thought, but he knew he should at least see what was wrong.

“Yea, I will. I’m sorry, I’ll see you tomorrow?” He sighed, still not ready to let go of the lovely conversation the both of you were having.

“Yes. Goodnight, I hope you sleep well. ” You gave him a final giggle before ending the call making his heart thump just a little harder.

Iwaizumi slumped on his bed with a groan, dialing Oikawa to check up on him. It didn’t take long for him to pick up, two rings and he could already hear the sigh of relief leave his best friend. “Iwaaa~, you had me so worried. What was so important that kept you away from me for so long? Hmm?” He couldn’t help but feel slightly guilty, he could’ve of at least sent him a message about how he wouldn’t be able to answer the phone for a while. Or was the guilt from spending the last two or so hours talking to his best friends ex-girlfriend and asking her on a date.

“Sorry, got caught up with something. What’s up?” He looked over to his nightstand to check the time on his clock but soon realized it was on the floor. The memory coming back and making him smile.

“Oh nothing, I was just wondering…you wouldn’t lie to me right?” And the pleasure was over, he tensed hearing the question but why? It’s not as if you were cheating on Oikawa when in reality it was him who did the cheating.

“Of course not. What are you thinking so much about thats got you asking stuff like that?” Oikawa sighed, biting his lip and staring off to his ceiling.

“Does she ever say anything about me? I know the both of you are close so I’m just wondering. She wasn’t even crying when she saw me with (gf name), do you know what she told me that night? ‘don’t make a scene’. Can you believe that?” Iwaizumi furrowed his brows, bothered by the way his friend was acting so childishly. Why was he so determined to see you hurt, was he that desperate to make you cry?

“Oikawa, just drop it. You cheated, you’re the bad guy in this situation and you still ended up with the girl you cheated on your own girlfriend with! Has it ever crossed your mind that maybe the reason why she wasn’t so hurt by it was because she was already over you?” Seconds passed of pure silence. The only thing Iwaizumi could hear was his friends steady breathing. His brow twitched anxiously, awaiting for an answer. “Did she tell you that?” He rolled his eyes, gripping his phone.

“She didn’t have to.” He mumbled making him receive a scoff from Oikawa.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Oikawa grumbled, annoyed at his unsupportive friend but again, he was just asking for too much from him.

“It means that you should really be thankful that she values your friendship that she overlooked you cheating on her and that you should really just drop it. Please.” Silence again. He reached over towards where his clock was at on the ground, picking it up and placing it back on his nightstand. “I guess you’re right. I just can’t help but wonder. She was my girlfriend for a while, the least she could do is cry a little.”

“Why are you such a dick?” Oikawa choked on his spit, getting caught off guard by the question.

“Excuse me? Iwa, where’s this behavior coming from… did she actually cry? Like only with you?” Iwaizumi huffed in annoyance, the red button tempting him to end the call.

“I don’t know, I’m just really tired from practice. See you tomorrow, k?”

“But Iwa-“ And with that he ended the call, readying himself for bed and to face Oikawa tomorrow. But he smiled, thinking about how he was going to see you too. The way you were able to flip his whole mood and instantly put a smile on him, he really did like you. Iwaizumi looked down to his vibrating phone, it was Oikawa again. The guilt came back, it wasn’t for hanging up on him but more on always crushing on his best friends ex girlfriend.

Oikawa groaned into his pillow, frustrated and feeling as if both of his closest friends were shutting him. He didn’t know who else to go to or ask. You weren’t exactly friends with anyone, you kept your circle small and usually never vented to anyone but Iwaizumi. The vibration he felt on his bed made him snatch his phone with an unexplainable speed, hoping it was you or even Iwa with some answers. Instead it was his girlfriend wishing him a goodnight but Oikawa didn’t even bother to read the whole message.

It was Sunday and Iwaizumi was still in the shower after getting in just about an hour ago. The date wouldn’t be until later in the evening and it was only morning but his anxiety ended up getting to him. Urging him to start getting ready at such early hours. You couldn’t help but do the same thing, thrashing your room and scattering clothes everywhere that you pulled from your closet while trying to find the best outfit for Iwaizumi.

He could hear his phone buzzing again making him pull the curtain back slightly to check the caller id. It was Oikawa again but too bad Iwaizumi was too busy scrubbing his body clean for the fifth time. Anyways, it was Sunday and just around eleven in the morning, he would understand if Iwaizumi just said he slept in and missed his calls. But the buzzing wouldn’t stop, Iwa grumbled while turning the water off and hearing his own mom knocking on the door, asking him if he was okay.

Iwa was quick to dry himself, he sat on his bed watching the clock on his nightstand. Why was time going by so slow? Normally he was a patient man but he was just way too eager to hangout with you. He’d do anything to make time speed up just a little. For you, you wished you had gotten up earlier. You still couldn’t decide on what to wear, your room a whole mess and you still hadn’t showered. Until when you finally decided on something simple, nothing that wasn’t too much nor too relaxed. But you couldn’t help but frown, Iwa never gave you a hint on where he was going to take you or even told you if it was going to be cold or not. With a groan, you neatly folded your outfit and put it on a spot on your bed before practically running to the bathroom to shower even though you still had over five hours to get ready.

He slowly dressed to be able to pass some time starting with his socks, and so on with a pair of fresh gym shorts and black t-shirt. Iwa decided on wearing casual clothing and not his chosen outfit until it was time for him to go so there wouldn’t be a way for him to get it dirty in away way and ruin it. Glancing at the clock, he laid on his bed. It was just around noon, almost hitting one. With a sigh, he picked up his phone and scrolling through his socials to pass time. He turned on his tv and let it run as background noise to keep him at least a bit distracted. Not before putting an alarm for an hour before walking to your house so he could properly get dressed.

You huffed trying to get your eyeliner done, even just the minimum to at least show him that you were trying. With a steady hand you were able to complete the left eye. Smiling, you looked at yourself in the mirror. ‘Ok, I think it looks okay-ish enough’ you though to yourself, looking down to your phone and seeing the time being four, almost time for your date with Iwaizumi. The pink chapstick stained your lips just a tad bit while it worked as a hydrator as well, just a little something you wanted to add. Your phone vibrated with a notification, it was Iwaizumi. You couldn’t help the smile that the name on the screen brought to your face. The tip of your finger swiped the notification and reading it to yourself out loud. “Hi, If you're by any chance ready would it be ok to go pick you up now? No pressure xx.” You weren’t the only one eager, it helped you feel more at ease. Your fingers typing up a response were unfortunately interrupted from another message notification, this time from Oikawa but you simply ignored it, not even bothering to read what he had to say, much more focused on going on your first date with Iwaizumi.

Hearing you giggle made Iwaizumi’s cheeks tint to a shade of light pink, he was outside your door and holding a bouquet of flowers that unintentionally matched with your outfit. It was simply pure kismet. “Are those for me?” He couldn’t ignore the sparkling look in your eyes when you asked so he just smiled, handing them to you. “Pretty flowers for a pretty girl.” It was now your turn for your cheeks to flush at his compliment. You happily accepted them, excusing yourself for a minute to place them in an empty vase and then returning to him, closing the door behind you in the process.

The both of you walked hand in hand toward a small coffee shop that the both of you were familiar with. “I still have somewhere else I wanna take you, not just for coffee.” He said with a smile and a squeeze to your hand.

“Ohh where else then?” You pressed, trying to get it out him.

“It’s a surprise, don’t worry about it.” Iwa looked over to you the smile still standing proudly on his face. Just happy to be with you after so long.

You couldn’t help but smile, finally seeing to where he was taking you. It was the most recent restaurant that had opened up in your area, he was taking you out to dinner. Perfect timing as well, you did start to feel a little hungry after the small cup of coffee you had just about an hour ago. “I know it’s not much but I know how much you like Italian and well-“ You quickly cut him off with a kiss on the cheek making him look down at you in surprise. He felt the warmth in his chest start up again, you were just too cute.

“Going anywhere to eat with you is already a perfect date, but the Italian food is for sure a plus.” Still having his hand in yours, you made sure to keep walking even while he still was a little shocked from the peck on the cheek. You giggled, pulling him closer to you by the hand. “What? Want another one?” Iwaizumi only nodded but this time taking charge as he gently placed his free hand on your cheek and pressing a soft kiss to your lips. He couldn’t help the smile that broke out on his face, contagious enough to cause you to smile too. You teasingly let your wet tongue swipe against his bottom lip making him pull away with a furious blush.

“Easy now.” Iwa mumbled, readjusting his posture and scanning the not-so-busy street to see if any creep had been lingering for too long. Just something to distract him from his first kiss with you because he was sure that he wouldn’t be able to hold back on the kissing if you tried the tongue trick again.

You laughed at his words but continued on into the restaurant. A very warm atmosphere came over the both of you, you really did enjoy his company. He made you happy, the way he holds your hand and the way he would look into your eye. It was definitely worth it to wait for the weekend. Iwaizumi thought so too, he would make it his personal goal to show just how much he cared about you and to do way better than Oikawa ever could. Even though that was his closest friend, he still could not let it slide on how trashy he was for being a cheater. The both of you were greeted by a wonderful waiter, following quickly behind them to the table nearest to a corner, somewhere more secluded but not so much.

Dinner passed by fast but neither of you could bring up what the both of you were dreading, the end of the date. Instead you kept him distracted with memories you shared with him from school, making him smile every time you would get way into detail. He loved hearing you talk about certain memories you had of him, things he had kept to himself thinking that no one would remember and that surprised him when you had a perfect memory. The guilty feeling in him slowly dying out with every little conversation you had with him. But it soon returned when he received a message notification from Oikawa.

‘How’s the date with (Y/n)? I thought you said you wouldn’t lie to me, Iwa…”

(not edited)

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sinfully-chubby · 3 years

Note

Omg I want a request for Sammy Winchester!!!! So here we go: Sam likes when the reader wears his flannels because they cling to her curves and pronounce them? He thinks it’s the most beautiful sight he’s ever seen so he makes it a point for her to wear them everywhere?

Hey thanks for sending this in. I'm sorry if this is coming late. I got really busy with school and the holidays that came up as well. I had fun writing this and I hope you like and enjoy it.

Curves - Sam Winchester x Plus Size/Chubby Reader

Warnings: Not really to much to warn about. There might be body appreciation and just implied smut, but no actual smut

Word Count: 1,630

The first time he caught you wearing one of his plaid shirts was way before the two of you had gotten together.

Him and Dean had been on a hunt out of state. The hunt was a pretty long one and you had stayed behind, helping them from the bunker. The hunt ended on a pretty good note, they luckily had very few casualties and he was just happy to be home.

Walking through the doors of the bunker, they had made there way down into the building. Once inside they were greeted by you coming form the direction of the library. While Dean had greeted you with the usual flirt, Sam could only stare at you. There you were standing in the map room wearing his flannel shirt. He stared at you enjoying the sight of you in his shirt. It was pretty big on you, but it seemed to not only hug your body, but seemed to be falling of it as well.

He had even let out an obvious gulping sound as he stared. When Dean finally walked away, you had turned your look to him smiling your pretty smile, making his heart flutter at how cute you were. When you greeted him you smiled more tilting your head waiting for a response.

"Hey Sam are you ok?"

Nodding his head he gave you a small smile in return.

"Yeah I'm alright, y/n why are you wearing my shirt?"

When you looked down at the shirt your nervously started fiddling with the ends of it. You looked so cute when your were shy or nervous.

"I don't have any clean clothes right now."

"So why my clothes?"

He wasn't angry, he could never be angry over this, but he was very curious.

"I didn't want to go into Dean’s room. he may have cleaned it, but I'm scared something came to life and lives there now. What with how long he camps in there with food sometimes."

He gives a small laugh at the adjusting the bag on his shoulder.

"I don't blame you, something probably did."

Laughing at that, you both settle down walking further into the room. While talking Sam couldn't help but wonder what you would look like in his shirts all the time.

Sadly it wouldn’t be for another few months until you wore another shirt claiming you once again didn’t have clean clothes. Luckily the next time was after a hunt.

This time you had tagged along, helping out with what seemed to be a den of vampire's. The hunt had been long and tiring and not having enough energy to start driving home so you had decided to crash at hotel for the night. There were only two beds and a pull out couch, so you had decided to take the pull out couch even though Sam had offered up the bed but you had declined, he wish he could have shared the bed with you.

You had called first shower after the hunt was over, of course Dean griped about it. So of course when you guys had gotten there you had went in with your duffel bag hanging off your shoulders.

You weren't in there for to long, but Sam almost chocked on the quick in take of breath when you walked out of the bathroom. There you were standing in the doorway of the bathroom wearing Sams favorite flannel shirt. It was the red flannel. It was unbuttoned slightly and hanging slightly off of one of your shoulders showing off the black spaghetti strap tank top. The shirt came down towards mid thigh showing the small skin tight black shorts.

Letting out an audible gulp he started at you as you toweled off the top of your head. While he gaped at you, Dean was watching his brothers reactions from the small table in the corner of the small motel room. Dean snickers at him laughing at how flustered Sam looked. Smirking to himself Dean, as casually as possible, stood from his chair, grabbed his jacket form the back and threw it on quickly.

"Well I'm gonna go grab us something to eat."

And without another word to you or Sam, he left walking right out the door while you and Sam stared after him.

Once the door was closed you glanced at Sam, nervous about being alone with him. It wasn’t a big secret, Dean knew of course, as well as Jody to. But it didn’t make you any less nervous being around Sam.

Taking in a deep breath Sam gave you a nervous smile as he stared at your bare feet on the floor. It had been a while sense you and Sam had really been alone, sure there where small moments, but people always had a way of either appearing or are already lurking. So in all reality there was never really a moment alone.

Messing the skin around your nails, you smiled at Sam as you went to sit down the pulled out couch bed. You looked nervous as you sat down tentatively on the couch bed. Once you were sure it wouldn’t get crushed or collapse under your weight, an irrational fear yes, but one the worried you none the less.

You sat down trying to get as comfortable as you can as Sam smiled at you.

"Tonight's hunt went by pretty quick. Good thing to."

Sam nodded his head in agreement tapping his thumbs together before responding.

"It was quick and efficient, no thanks to you."

Shrugging your shoulders you smile looking down at your feet, not caring about how the big shirt slipped further off your shoulders. Looking at where the shirt had slipped Sam eyed you s/c skin. Eyes following the parts where your body curved out, and looking at the dip of your low cut tank top shirt.

Now don't get him wrong a shoulder wasn't gonna make him start climbing walls, but when he looked at you all he wanted to do was mark up and enjoy the sounds of pleasure that would come out of your mouth. If he were to continue, what would be stopping him from throwing you to the bed and taking you apart piece by piece.

To say the least the thought was very, very tempting.

"All I did was help with the searching and interviewing nothing to special."

Sam had almost forgotten about the conversation at hand. So standing from the bed he walks over and sits down next to you. Your shoulders brush against each other, a warmth settling in your chest at the close proximity.

"But the help was very much appreciated."

You give a hesitant smile, enjoying the warmth Sams body was letting off.

"I'm glad I was able to help, its better than just sitting in the bunker waiting to hear what happens."

"I understand what you mean, I used to worry about all the people who went on other hunts, and when they didn't report back I would get concerned."

Nodding your head you lay your head on his shoulder letting a small smile grace your lips.

"I worry about you guys all the time. But I worry about you the most."

For once Sam feels sheepish as he smiles at you feeling a little flushed at what you had said.

"You worry about me?"

You feel heat rising to your face as you duck your head once more raising your hand to scratch at the back of your head. It wasn't like a weird awkward thing, of course you worried about Sam. After all you did love the giant moose man even if he didn't know.

"Of course I do Sam, what you and Dean do isn't easy, and is definitely very dangerous."

He nods his head at that, he could see why you would be worried. Reaching out to you, he wraps his arm around your back grabbing your other shoulder and pulling you towards him in a hug.

"It's alright y/n I know the feeling. Even though you don't hunt a lot, your life is still in constant danger. Even just by knowing me and Dean."

Leaning into the hug you lay your head on his shoulder.

"Yeah well you can't get rid of me that easily."

Smiling a each other you let out a small laugh.

"I wouldn't want it any other way."

Almost like being drawn towards you. Sam leans down kissing you softly. Your surprised at first but lean into the kiss more. Deepening the kiss Sam and you move further onto the little pull out couch Sam's arms wrapping themselves around your waist and pulling you into his lap. Thighs spreading wide as you settled down, pressed tightly to Sam.

To say the least the night ended pretty well. That is if you minus the ruined sheets and maybe the broken pull out bed. In the end Dean didn't come back to the hotel room that night, Sam and you never got any sleep.

But ever sense then you and Sam have been going steady. There have been times when things seemed to hit rough patch, and times where you would hate your body so much that it made you sick looking at yourself.

But Sam's always had a way of helping you though it as much as he can. In the end if one of Sam's many plaid shirts went missing he would always find you wearing one. Looking as beautiful as always.

His favorite part is how he can always admire those curves.

#sam winchester x plus size reader #supernatural x reader #supernatural x plus size reader #sam winchester x chubby reader #x plus sizer reader #plus size reader #chubby reader #x chubby reader #supernatural x chubby reader #sam winchester x reader #sam x reader #sam x plus size reader #sam x chubby reader #x reader

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naughtyneganjdm · 3 years

Text

The Guest - Chapter 27

Summary: Joel keeps his promise to Negan in providing money for the bills that Negan is having a hard time paying. Something happens where Joel is able to convince Negan to make a decision about all of their futures together.

Characters: Negan, the reader (OC), Joel, Lucille, etc.

Warnings: Swearing, angst, small amounts of smut (but not super dirty), dirty talking, kind of sad stuff

Notes: I'm posting this exceedingly late for me and I've been up forever, so if there are errors, sending you all my apologies. Also, I feel like I shouldn't have to say this anymore, but Joel and Negan are in a relationship with Y/N while also having feelings for each other. They all care about each other. Happy holidays folks. Sending you all out my love

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20333263/chapters/69309564

Sitting in the parking lot of the hospital, Joel tapped his hands against the steering wheel while he waited for Negan. A few days previously Negan had asked him for help with the money situation and had sent Joel a few photos of some of the bills for Lucille’s treatments. During their interaction Negan was clearly uncomfortable asking for help, so Joel tried to make it as simple as possible. Of course, Joel was a man of his word and he had gotten the money for Negan like he promised he would.

They had agreed to meet up so Joel could give Negan the money and it was a little while after the time Negan had given Joel. It was almost nerve wracking being out lately. Joel had a lot of chores he had to do out today and he didn’t want to pull Y/N out into it with all the rioting that had been taking place all over the country. It seemed like things were getting worse, not better and he didn’t think she should be out in that so he had left her at his home.

Surveying the people that were around the hospital, Joel let out a tense breath. The people there didn’t look��well. A lot of them were very pale and like the last time he was there the hospital was extremely packed. He had to drive around a bit before finally finding a spot to pull in to meet Negan. With all the people here, Joel wondered if it was the sickness they had talked about on the news or if people were just injured from the random riots that were taking place. Either way, being here made him uncomfortable and he couldn’t explain the way he felt, but he didn’t feel right about how things were.

The sound of someone knocking on his window caused Joel to jump and he looked beside him to see Negan at the side of his car. Joel had been so deep in thought looking at the people outside of the hospital that he hadn’t spotted Negan moving to the car. There was an amused smirk over Negan’s tired features when he saw that he had managed to scare Joel and Joel rolled his eyes. Letting out a long exhale, Joel unlocked his car and watched Negan get into the car beside him, “Damn it Slugger, you scared me.”

“Slugger? You’re sticking with that, huh?” Negan reached up to rub at the side of his face through his somewhat longer beard. With Negan being in the hospital, his beard had grown and his hair was quite messy from not being able to take care of himself that well.

“Unfortunately,” Joel teased with a wink, reaching for the coffee that he had bought for Negan. He lifted it for Negan and Negan gave him a sideways glance. “I was around you a lot in the mornings, I know what you like and I assumed you would appreciate this. I doubt you are getting much sleep and I know coffee from the hospital is shit.”

“You got this for me?” Negan confirmed and Joel nodded. Oddly, Negan was extremely touched that Joel even thought of him like that. Joel was already bringing him money for hospital bills, he didn’t need to be getting him coffee too, but he did. It was strange that he had a certain bond with Joel, but he was thankful for it. “Thank you.”

“It’s no problem,” Joel watched Negan get somewhat relaxed in the passenger seat beside him and Joel felt sorry for Negan. It was clear he was absolutely exhausted by the way he looked but hadn’t been able to sleep. Negan took a long swallow of the coffee and Joel let curiosity get the best of him. “How’s Lucille?”

“Honestly? About the same. She’s getting a treatment, that’s why I’m able to be out here for a few,” Negan informed Joel, looking at his watch to see the time. “I have about an hour. They will call me if they need me.”

“Is this where you would pay the bills?” Joel reached between them to pull open the compartment to take out the envelope of money he had stashed away there for Negan. Holding it out, he could see Negan’s hazel eyes looking it over with a nervous glance. “It’s all there.”

“Joel, are you sure about this?” Negan confirmed feeling his throat go dry while he looked at the envelope that he knew held a sizeable amount of money. “I feel really, really bad about this. I know you said it was okay, but I feel like an asshole asking this of you.”

“Please don’t,” Joel held the envelope out further and Negan’s eyes met Joel’s. “I would give you this and anything else you need. I don’t mind. So please…”

“Thank you,” Negan grabbed a hold of the envelope and pushed it into his pocket on the right side. “You have no idea how much this means to me. Like…fuck…this is big.”

“I know how much it means to you,” Joel didn’t want to make Negan feel bad about this, but it was clear that Negan was embarrassed by the way his Adam’s apple bounced in his throat. “And it’s no worries. I’m just helping out a friend.”

“No, it’s big Joel,” Negan insisted calling Joel by his real name because using the nickname Negan had given him in a mocking tone just felt very wrong at the time. Friends didn’t usually do this for friends, so he knew that Joel was more important than a friend. “It’s really big and I owe you one.”

“Just take care of yourself and your wife…that’s payback enough for me,” Joel suggested eyeing Negan over in the seat behind him. Negan lifted his left hand to rub it over the front of his face and Joel cleared his throat uneasily.

“I want to hug you, but I don’t know if that would be awkward,” Negan grumbled against his hand and his eyes peaked out from above his hand as he turned his head toward Joel. “I’m not used to this affection and shit…”

“You don’t have to hug me,” Joel snorted and waved his hand in the hair dismissively. “I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable Negan and if you…”

A grunt fell from Joel’s throat when he was interrupted by Negan reaching across the car to pull Joel into a one-armed hug. Joel accepted the hug and pat Negan on the upper back in a supportive motion. Negan’s cheek brushed against Joel’s as Negan pulled away and Negan’s eyes were hooked on Joel’s making Joel swallow down hard.

“I know you tell me it’s not a big deal, but it is,” Negan asserted with a firm nod before sliding back more comfortably in his seat. Negan’s head bobbed down like he was about to pass out from exhaustion, but he caught himself and raised his head. He attempted to shake off the feeling with a yawn as he stretched out his body and Joel took notice of it.

“Anything you need, it’s here,” Joel winked and Negan gave him a half smile before nodding.

“I should probably go get this paid,” Negan announced, reaching for the handle of the door and he felt Joel’s hand pressing in over his knee to stop him. There was a concerned expression over Joel’s features and Negan reached out to pat Joel on the hand. “What is it?”

“Why don’t you put the chair back and sleep for a little bit?” Joel offered catching the smile that Negan gave him. Negan wasn’t taking him seriously with his suggestion and that was obvious by the expression on Negan’s face. “I’m not kidding Negan.”

“You have better things to do with your time than watch me fucking sleep in your car Joel,” Negan pointed out, taking a look around the hospital parking lot they were in. “Thank you for the offer, but…”

“You have an hour. When is the last time you slept, at all?” Joel inquired making Negan let out a shuddering exhale. God, it had been so long since Negan had really slept. He couldn’t even think of a time he had more than a few minutes here or there. “I’ve got some time until I have the next thing that I have to get done. Just rest back, close your eyes and I’ll pay attention for your phone in case someone calls.”

“Joel…” Negan’s face twisted with contemplation and he saw Joel reaching in the backseat for something. Joel stretched out his body to grab a blanket and put it on Negan’s lap. “You’re not giving me much of a choice in this, are you?”

“Instead of sitting in that hospital room panicking, relax for a few minutes,” Joel ordered, reaching for Negan’s coffee to set it back where he had it in the drink carrier previously. Negan gave somewhat of a glare before pulling out his phone and setting it on the dashboard so it would be heard, not muffled. Negan put the seat back and Joel smiled. “Good boy.”

“Now don’t go trying to get inappropriate touches in while my eyes are closed, okay?” Negan joked with a tired tone and Joel rolled his eyes. It was typical of Negan to be a sarcastic shit like this. Getting comfortable, Negan bunched up the blanket and curled it under his head. It was so easy to screw with Joel because he was so proper that Negan couldn’t help himself. “I’d rather be awake if I was going to be molested.”

“You’re hilarious,” Joel grunted while Negan got comfortable beside him and Joel attempted to pull his own phone out of his pocket. With Negan being a smart ass, Joel found himself actually attempting to do the same with him. “You know, if you just wanted a hand job Negan, all you had to do was ask. You didn’t have to crack a joke about me inappropriately touching you while you slept.”

“Ohhh, really? So, if I wanted one of those, you would be willing?” Negan lifted his head in remark to Joel giving him a hard time and he felt Joel hit him in the stomach making him laugh. “Man…don’t offer it if you aren’t going to give it. That’s just cruel. I was hoping for some kind of release. Do you know how long it has been since I’ve gotten to cum? The big man and the iron sack are aching my friend.”

“Jesus,” Joel groaned outwardly and heard Negan’s tired laughter fill the car. “Your mouth is something else.”

“You like my mouth,” Negan slurred with a wolfish grin making Joel roll his eyes. “A lot actually.”

“Go to bed,” Joel snapped his fingers and Negan’s nose wrinkled when he heard Joel’s order, but he did what Joel asked in closing his eyes.

“You’re such a fucking prude,” Negan scoffed cuddling his head in further against the blanket.

“And you need a bar of soap in that mouth half of the time,” Joel snickered, reaching up to cover his eyes.

“Is a bar of soap the nickname for your penis?” Negan bit at his bottom lip and heard Joel make a disgusted sound. The amusement this was giving Negan was probably more than it should have been, but he didn’t care. It was so easy to screw with Joel and Joel was falling right into it.

“You’re awful,” Joel bickered with Negan when Negan’s dark eyes slowly parted to stare out at Joel with mischief.

“And yet you find me charming,” Negan slurred with an arched eyebrow. “I’ve rubbed off on you and you kind of like it.”

“We just went from a serious moment to you talking like we are in a porno,” Joel stated knowing that it was just who Negan was. He would expect nothing less. Unfortunately, although Joel was a bit of a smart ass himself, Negan knew that he could get Joel flustered by saying sexual things.

“Man, your mind is so dirty thinking about wanting to make a porn with me,” Negan felt the whack of the back Joel’s hand against his chest and he laughed deeply. “Okay, okay. I’m going to bed. Jesus.”

“About damn time,” Joel grumbled to himself and Negan let out a tight, muted laugh. At least for a moment Negan didn’t have to be so fucking serious about everything. Having a little fun was probably nice for him as opposed to what he was used to.

Joel watched Negan for a minute and realized it didn’t take long for Negan to fall asleep. He was surprised Negan could make it as long as he did. In that situation, Joel wasn’t sure that he could keep going and going like Negan had done.

Picking up his own phone, Joel started getting a grocery order in for him and Y/N since he didn’t think they should really be going out that much and it was easier to do while he was just waiting with Negan beside him instead of on the go.

Occasionally, Joel would look beside him to make sure that Negan was okay. The way Negan shifted and twitched in his sleep made Joel worry. Negan was good at hiding his emotions for the most part, but he was wondering if Negan was dreaming something awful. Joel was originally just hopeful that Negan would be able to finally get some peaceful sleep in, but he was wondering if even in his sleep Negan had to face his fears. After about twenty minutes, Joel could hear the sound of Negan’s breathing change and he felt the soft grab of something at his arm.

Looking, he saw Negan’s fingers wrapped around his forearm and Negan’s tired eyes were staring out at him, “Lay back with me.”

“What was that?” Joel asked Negan to repeat himself because he wasn’t sure he heard him right. Negan’s eyes narrowed into a glare from where he was resting on the curled-up blanket.

“Put your seat back, I don’t want to be alone. Please?” Negan begged, watching Joel think about what he asked for and Joel turned the car off. Joel reached for Negan’s cell phone, putting it on his chest as he laid back with Negan. “Thank you.”

“Yeah,” Joel simply nodded, reaching for his jacket that he had deposited earlier to ball it up and use as a pillow for himself.

“You’re too nice for your own good,” Negan grumbled, closing his eyes when he moved his body in closer to Joel’s to get the sense of not being alone while he rested. Sleeping alone was not something he really wanted to go through right now. It felt strange and to have the warmth of someone beside him just made him feel more comfortable.

“I know,” Joel replied, stretching out his body while he laid beside Negan.

The warmth of Negan’s hand pressed in beside his and Joel slid his further out to grab a hold of Negan’s hand. Negan’s eyes partially opened and he smiled when he realized that Joel was supportively holding onto his hand. Tangling his fingers with Joel’s he squeezed them firmly before getting more comfortable in the seat.

There was silence for a while between the two of them and Joel watched Negan sleep. It was strange having this kind of relationship with Negan, but he didn’t care. Joel had this want to protect and take care of both Y/N and Negan. It was something that seemed to be deep seeded inside of him and he found comfort in being with the both of them.

At first, his feelings for Negan felt strange, but when he felt as if they were somewhat reciprocated, he didn’t feel as bad about it. It was nice to be needed and to have someone care for him like he cared for them. Joel wasn’t used to something like that. Everything always felt one sided in his life. No matter who it was with. With Negan and Y/N, it felt like they both cared for him and it felt nice to have that.

“Are you falling in love with me Professor?” Negan’s deep voice filled the air when his eyes partially opened and he saw Joel watching him while he slept. Joel let out an embarrassed sound and Negan snorted. “I’m just screwing with you, you know that?”

“I’m just worried about you,” Joel confessed knowing that his worries about Negan had intensified lately.

“Don’t worry about me, I don’t deserve your concern,” Negan suggested with a frown hating that anyone would lose time over him.

“You worry about the people you care about Negan,” Joel snorted and it caused Negan’s fingers to squeeze tighter around his. The look in Negan’s eyes wasn’t quite readable, but Joel knew that Negan was sad. “I have a proposition for you.”

“Is it sexual?” Negan joked again and he caught the glare that Joel was giving him. When he realized it was something that was serious, his arrogant smile slowly faded and he nodded. “What is it?”

“I don’t know what you have been seeing on the news since you are stuck in that hospital,” Joel began, seeing Negan’s eyes open further while he listened to him. “Things aren’t good right now. I was thinking, I have this cabin…it’s in upstate New York.”

“Yeah?” Negan could see that Joel was thinking something in depth out in his head.

“I want to take you, Lucille and Y/N there,” Joel announced with a loud swallow and Negan shifted on the seat beside Joel. “I don’t think things are safe here right now. You saw what happened in the hospital the other day. We don’t even know what happened.”

“But Lucille…” Negan started confused as to how that would work.

“We could get her the best hospice,” Joel stammered and the mention of hospice obviously hit Negan hard. There was an expression that flooded through Negan’s face and Joel hated to make him uncomfortable mentioning it, but he didn’t want to leave Negan behind or in a place where he could get hurt. “I would pay for her to have the best care possible. The cabin is stocked and there is enough room for everyone. I’ll pay for them to help transfer her there…”

“I don’t know if that would work Joel,” Negan shook his head and thought about the way Lucille had been lately. He didn’t even know if she would be able to make that kind of trip right now. “It sounds nice…fucking amazing actually, but…”

“I have a horrible feeling Negan. I’ve been watching the news a lot lately and things are scary right now,” Joel continued to vent his worries while he felt Negan’s hand squeezing tightly around his. “I don’t want anything bad to happen to you or Y/N. I want to keep the both of you safe, you know? You’re both very important to me and…”

“Hey, everything is fine,” Negan tried to assure Joel, reaching out to force Joel to look at him. “The news is there to scare the hell out of us Joel. They do that. They put these stories on there to scare us. That guy in the hospital the other day was probably attacked by an animal hunting or something. With people being sick it’s probably just a really bad flu…”

“Negan come on…” Joel knew that this was different than what was normal. “Let me do this. My cabin is secluded. We would be safe until things calmed down. There is one of the best hospitals in the world not far away if something happened to Lucille.”

“Joel, you worry too much,” Negan insisted with a shake of his head. “Everything is going to be okay.”

Joel dropped his head back dramatically and it was clear that he was genuinely concerned about everything. Negan outstretched his free hand and pressed it in over Joel’s face urging Joel to look at him, “You are a way better man than I could have ever wished to be.”

“I have no idea why you are saying that,” Joel shook his head and Negan tilted his head to the side giving Joel an expecting glance.

“You have taken care of Y/N better than I could have ever hoped to have done,” Negan confessed, his voice coming out rasp as he thought about his previous relationship with Y/N and how he had treated her. “You were the best thing that could have ever happened for her. You’re the kind of man that she deserves.”

“Are you...are you okay with us being together?” Joel cleared his throat, his brow line creasing when he thought about how he was engaged to Y/N. They hadn’t told Negan about it and he wondered if Negan would handle it well if he actually found out.

“There is only one person in this world I’m okay with her being with and that’s you,” Negan admitted, tapping Joel on the side of the face. “You’re an amazing man with a big fucking heart. We’re all fucking small when it comes to you.”

“I really wish you would consider what I’m offering you with the cabin,” Joel repeated and he heard Negan sigh. Negan closed the distance between the two of them and Joel felt Negan pressing a kiss over the side of his face. “Negan…”

“Relax,” Negan ordered when he could feel the tension in Joel’s body with how close they were. “You don’t always have to have your guard up around me. We’re far beyond that, don’t you think?”

“I’m…” Joel went to speak only to feel Negan kissing at his bottom lip and Joel let out a nervous sound. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, just shut up,” Negan grunted and curled his fingers around the back of Joel’s neck to bring him closer.

Slowly, Negan deposited kiss after kiss over the side of Joel’s face drawing closer to Joel’s lips. It caused Joel’s breathing to get heavy and a proud smile expanded over Negan’s features. Finally, Negan’s lips collided with Joel’s and he desperately kissed at the man he had grown to care for. Negan’s rough palms held onto Joel’s face while he kissed him and Negan could feel Joel gradually opening up to the kiss and begin kissing him back.

“See, not so bad…” Negan breathed out, reaching up to grab a handful of Joel’s messy hair while growling against Joel’s bottom lip. “One day you are going to realize how much you truly like me Joel Baker.”

“One day,” Joel snickered looking away from Negan and Negan gave him an odd expression. “I’ve been sitting here telling you that I want to take care of both you and Y/N.”

“I guess I should say one day I’ll realize how lucky I actually was to have someone like you in my life,” Negan nuzzled his nose against Joel’s and let out a long, shuddering exhale. “I wish the three of us could have had something so much more than we did.”

Drawing in closer Joel again, Negan attempted to kiss Joel only to hear the sound of tires squealing followed by the sound of a loud crashing sound. It caused Joel to pull his mouth away with a nervous breath. They both lifted their heads to see that there was a crash at the corner of the road by the hospital where the light was.

“Jesus Christ,” Negan pulled himself up and Joel did the same. “That looks bad.”

“Negan,” Joel called out when Negan got out of the car immediately and moved toward the accident that happened.

Negan noticed a woman in one of the cars bleeding from the head as he approached the accident. The car had started to smoke and Negan quickly got to the car to open the driver’s door, “Joel, help me!”

“I’m here,” Joel helped Negan pull the woman from the car as a fire started. They both managed to get the woman to a safe spot on the grass. Negan watched Joel pull his button-down shirt from his body and roll it up to put under the woman’s neck to keep her head elevated. Joel still had on gray Henley shirt that Negan imagined may get covered in blood if Joel still tended to the woman.

“Let me make sure no one else is in the car,” Negan pat Joel on the shoulder and checked to make sure the car was empty before looking to the other car that seemed to have caused the accident. There was a man slouched over the wheel and Negan went to go check on the man. Opening the door, Negan noticed the man wasn’t moving and he reached out to place his fingers over the side of the man’s neck to see if he felt a pulse. When he didn’t, he let out a nervous sound and stepped back. “Damn.”

“Is he okay?” Joel called out from where he was helping the woman. Negan looked to Joel to answer and a moment later he felt the force of someone knocking him to the hard cement making him let out a pained sound. Swiftly turning onto his back, he watched the man that was in the car lunge at him making him let out a strained sound.

“What the fuck?!” Negan braced his palms in over the center of the man’s chest that he thought he had just felt no pulse on. The man who had caused the accident seemed to be desperately trying to attack Negan, but Negan used his strength to keep the man over him. There was a strange growling coming from the man and he was snapping his jaws as if he was trying to bite Negan. “Get the fuck off of me.”

“Get off of him,” Negan heard Joel’s southern drawl fill the air and the man was swiftly pulled away from Negan. Joel used his power to shove the man across the road, causing the man to topple over backwards and Joel reached for Negan to help him up. Almost immediately, Joel seemed to place himself in front of Negan in a protective stance and Negan let out a winded breath.

“What the fuck?” Negan snapped, looking to his palms that had been scraped up by the cement during his fall.

“Stay back,” Joel warned when he saw the man that attempted to attack Negan slowly getting up on the other side of the road. Raising his hand in a warning, Joel hoped that the man would take a hint. “You try that again and I will knock you on your ass.”

“Fuck that, I’ll kill that son of a bitch,” Negan snapped, his blood boiling at the fact that the man had tried to attack him when Negan was just trying to help. Negan went to lunge forward at the man hearing him growling. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Negan!” Joel called out and Negan felt Joel grabbing him so fast that they fell backwards onto the cement when another car plowed through, managing to hit the man that had ran forward to attempt to attack Negan and Joel. Negan lifted his head, realizing that Joel had just saved him from getting hit by a car. “Are you okay?”

Negan was lost for words when he realized what had just happened. His heart was hammering in his chest from the rush of adrenaline and he couldn’t believe he just saw that guy plowed down by another car. Joel’s hand pressed in over the side of Negan’s face, urging him to try and look at him, “Negan? Are you alright? Talk to me.”

Negan didn’t say anything, just nodded with a shocked expression while Joel managed to help them up from the cement where they had both just fallen just out of reach from the car that almost hit him as well as the guy it actually took out.

“You just saved my life,” Negan acknowledged when Joel pulled him up and dragged him toward the side of the road. “Jesus fuck, you just saved my life. My fucking God.”

“Are you okay?” Joel inquired, his green-hazel eyes looking Negan over as he reached out to touch over the side of Negan’s face to survey him. “Do you believe me now that things feel fucking strange? This is not normal Negan.”

Negan looked beyond them to see that people were now helping the woman and he back stepped away from the scene. A few people had surrounded the man that had been hit by the car, but they were people who showed up after it had happened. Negan was shaken up and not in a good way, “When were you thinking about going to the cabin?”

“What about Friday? Will that give you enough time to gather some things?” Joel took notice of the anger that seemed to be flooding people lately. This was exactly the kind of thing that he was worried about.

“Friday is good,” Negan agreed, moving back toward the car again not knowing if he wanted to stick around to talk to anyone about what just happened. Hopefully no one saw the interaction him and Joel had with the man. Rather just the fact they had helped the woman out of her car. Negan couldn’t spend his whole day out here when Lucille needed him. “There was something wrong with that guy Joel.”

“He was an asshole,” Joel pointed out with a frustrated grunt. “They said people were rioting for no reason. He clearly caused the accident and he was just out to hurt anyone that he could. Including you.”

“No, I mean beyond being an asshole,” Negan remembered the look on the guy’s face while he was trying to attack him. “He had fucking weird eyes.”

“But you’re okay, right?” Joel reached out to look at Negan again and Negan pulled his face away from Joel with a laugh. “I’m just making sure.”

“Yes, you saved my life. I’m fine,” Negan stammered with a nervous sound, looking at the time. “I need to get back in there before Lucille gets back. You said Friday, right?”

“Friday,” Joel agreed with a simple nod, seeing Negan reaching for his pocket to make sure the money was there still was.

“Take it easy until then Professor. Keep me updated,” Negan watched Joel step forward to give him his phone and Negan put it back in his pocket. He went to Joel’s car to get the coffee that Joel had brought for him before clearing his throat. “That was fucked up. I tell you that.”

“No kidding,” Joel grunted, looking toward the scene seeing that the police had now shown up. “I don’t know…”

A moment of silence fell between them as Negan moved before him and reached out with his free hand to squeeze at his shoulder, “Thank you.”

“Of course,” Joel nodded and felt Negan pat at the center of his chest. “Negan…just, be careful okay?”

“That was just a unique event Joel,” Negan tried to suggest, swallowing down hard. “We’ll be fine.”

“A unique that made you agree to come with me,” Joel pointed out and honestly Negan didn’t want to confess that scared the shit out of him. Hell, it was so fucked up, but he just wanted to believe that was a single event of a random asshole causing something. “I’m taking you guys Friday Negan, I’m serious.”

“I’m fucking serious too,” Negan stated with a grunt. “We’ll try to have everything ready by Friday. I’ll keep you updated on everything.”

Joel watched Negan quickly head back into the hospital and Joel could feel his heart hammering inside of his chest. What just happened was one of the craziest things he had ever seen happen in his life. Getting back in his car, he locked the doors once he was in and grasped tightly to the wheel.

It took a minute for things to settle down when he realized that Negan almost died the same exact way his daughter had in the past. The thought of that lingered in his mind and he was shaken up. In that moment with Negan Joel was able to do the one thing that he couldn’t do with his daughter which was save someone he cared about.

That really hit him hard when he thought about the idea of almost losing another person he cared about the same way that his daughter had died all those years ago. With everything that was going on around them, Joel realized that he never wanted to lose another person he cared about again and he would do whatever he had to in order to keep those he loved alive.

---

Blinking a few times, Y/N found herself laying wide awake in bed. She had woken up early and found herself having a hard time falling back asleep. It had been a hard two days since Joel had come back and told her what happened with Negan. Her thoughts were eating away at her with the idea of everything that took place between Joel and Negan that day. She hadn’t talked to Negan other than through text and she thought about how desperate Joel was to take all of them away to the cabin. Everything seemed tense in the moment and she had a hard time focusing on sleeping with how busy her mind was.

Looking over her shoulder, she saw Joel actually sleeping for once. After he had saved Negan from almost getting hit by a car, it had brought back a lot of memories of Joel’s daughter for him. Things that he thought he had gotten over, but when he saved Negan they had come back up. It got Joel emotional the day it happened that he was able to save Negan, but at the same time it was clear that he was still extremely shaken up by the idea of everything that had happened. Clearly it had bothered Negan too since Negan agreed to go to the cabin with them.

With the nervousness that Joel had, it had put a hold on the things that they had been working to build. Joel was attempting to make a room for the baby in the house and it was turning around to be a beautiful nursey, but after the events of what happened to Joel and Negan, he was eager to get the supplies for them to leave. Joel had gotten a new SUV so that way he had enough space for everyone to fit in it if need be and he convinced her after everything was over, it would be good for them to have with the baby.

They hadn’t really heard much more about the riots going on, but she was certain that if this was what Joel wanted to do, it was best for them to do it. If both Negan and Joel were nervous enough to agree to go to the cabin, then what they saw that day had to be pretty damn serious.

Shifting on her side, she stared out at Joel and noticed his eyes partially open when she moved. Leaning in, she pressed a loving kiss over his lips and heard him let out a hum of appreciation as she stroked the side of his face, “I love you.”

“I love you too sweetheart,” Joel responded, cuddling up closer on the bed near her as she brushed her fingers through his short beard. It took her a while before she realized she wasn’t going to fall asleep.

Her mind was filled with thoughts of Negan, Lucille, her parents and everything that she had known was taking place around them. She never got a response about her parents and that worried her. Then again, she assumed her parents may have just written her off completely, so she shouldn’t have been worried. It just lingered.

Managing to carefully pull herself out of bed without waking up Joel, Y/N reached for her phone and moved carefully out of the bedroom. Closing the door behind her, she walked down the hallway to stop inside of the nursey that Joel had been making. The sight of the crib that Joel had put together took her breath away. Joel was so amazing at taking care of them and doing everything he could to help her through her pregnancy. This room was gorgeous and she hoped that they would be able to put it to good use when the baby finally arrived.

Stepping toward the crib, she reached for the stuffed animal that was already inside of it. It was the first thing Negan had ever given her when he considered them going on their ‘first date’. It was way back when she went with her father and Negan to the baseball game. When Negan had given it to her then, she loved it, but thought it was rather silly. Now after everything that happened, she thought it would be best to give the stuffed mascot to the baby. It was something the baby’s father gave her in what she viewed to be a sweet moment.

In the corner of the room, there was a rocking chair that had the giant teddy bear that Negan had also gotten her on her birthday. Both stuffed animals were things that Negan had gotten her in hopes of making her happy. The teddy bear hurt for a while to look at during her relationship with Negan because it was a reminder of the pain he had put her through with her birthday, but after looking back at everything…it was easy to get over now. She didn’t want to be mad or angry with Negan anymore.

Setting the small stuffed animal back into the crib, she moved over toward the rocking chair and pulled the oversized bear into her arms. There was a sense of guilt that filled her body knowing that Negan had yet to know that she was pregnant with his child. So many times she could have told him, but she let her fear and nervousness get in the way. The world just wasn’t working with the two of them, but he needed to know. Especially if they were going to be living together.

The nursery reminded her all over again with the small things how much her heart truly belonged to both Negan and Joel. Joel completely gave up one of his rooms to make this room for the baby. It was sweet and there were personal details that Joel put in that made her swoon. Joel got prepared quite early for the baby and his excitement about everything made her excited. Originally, she hadn’t felt that excitement for the baby with how Negan made her feel about things, but with how happy Joel was about everything drew her to also be excited.

While she was still worried about the unknown, Joel had done a good job in making her realize that this baby was special. It wasn’t something bad or a mistake that Negan had made her think it was for quite some time. She just hoped when Negan truly found out that he would agree with her.

While she knew it was a good idea to probably head back to bed with Joel and get some rest, she knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep. Getting up from the rocking chair she moved down the stairs after putting the bear back and stepped out into the backyard. The sun had just started to rise and she walked out by the water. The cool brisk air caused her to shudder while she stared out at the water. Everything had felt perfect with Joel and really, it was. She loved him and there was no doubt of that, but she did feel like there was a piece of her missing with Negan not involved in this baby’s life…or honestly hers.

It was nice knowing that Joel thought so highly of Negan as well. Things were so much less complicated that way and it made her feel blessed that she didn’t have to go through all the stress of having a new, jealous boyfriend. Even though it felt uncomfortable at the time, it seemed like Negan persuading them to be a trio couple really actually made all of their relationships in general, better.

The sound of her phone ringing was heard and it jolted her heart since it was completely silent in the area around her. With the rhythmic sounds of the water splashing, she had gotten lost in the moment so it caused her to fumble for her phone. Looking at the name of the person calling her, she felt her throat go dry and eagerly answered.

“Hello?” she let out a long sigh, rubbing her free hand over her bare shoulder attempting to warm herself up.

“Hey beautiful. I was worried that you would still be sleeping,” Negan’s voice spoke over the phone and she closed her eyes, thankful to hear his deep, raspy voice on the other end. “I was originally planning on leaving you a message.”

“I can hang up and let you call again if you’d like,” she teased and heard his tired laugh on the other end.

“No, I would rather talk to you. The sound of your voice is the first comforting thing I’ve had in a few days,” Negan explained and she could tell by the sound of his voice that he was exhausted. She was hoping by getting him to come to the cabin with her and Joel that he would finally be able to sleep. With Joel and her at the cabin, Negan wouldn’t have to be the only person that would be with Lucille. “Actually, I have a request…”

“What’s that?” she retorted, shifting on her feet while she talked to him.

“Video chat me. I need to see your face,” Negan begged and she let out a hesitant laugh. “Please?”

“I just got out of bed Negan, I’m in my pajamas,” she informed him looking down at herself knowing she was in something comfortable. At this point in her pregnancy, there was no reason to even try to dress sexy. Being comfortable was the better option so she was wearing one of Joel’s shirts that was ridiculously too big for her.

“And I haven’t showered in days,” Negan reminded her with a grunt. “I look like a hobo.”

“I’m sure you look fine,” she insisted and Negan snorted at her response. Sure, the last time she had seen him he looked a bit rundown, but Negan always looked good. “If that’s what you want though…”

“It is,” Negan insisted and it took a minute before they got things to work. Negan’s video was a bit fuzzy, but she could tell that he was sitting in the hospital room. “The connection isn’t the best here, but Lucille is gone for a test and I just…I wanted to see you. You’re a sight for sore eyes.”

“You’re going to be seeing me soon,” Y/N reminded him as she moved over toward one of the lounging chairs that Joel had out by the water. Dropping down in it, she could see that Negan did look worn out. “Friday…”

“I wanted to talk to you about that,” Negan spoke up, clearing his throat while he got more comfortable in the chair he had been seated in for what felt like weeks. “Are you going to be okay with this? Living with Lucille and me? I know Joel is okay with it since he’s pretty much the one that convinced me to do it and I’m sure at this point in her life, the fresh air could be good for Lucille, but…”

“Why wouldn’t I be okay with it Negan?” she reached up to brush her hair behind her ear.

“Lucille isn’t going to last much longer Y/N,” Negan informed her with a firm nod. “I keep praying that something will get better. That I will get a miracle, but…I just see my girl fading more and more each day. Getting her out of this hospital so she can be at a place that makes her comfortable would be better for her, but…if we do this, you are going to have to put up with that.”

“I’m fully prepared to help both of you through whatever you need,” she promised, knowing that like Joel she needed to know that the both of them were going to be okay. “I love you Negan.”

“And I love you,” Negan repeated with an honest sigh. “So fucking much which is why I need to be sure that me being there is not going to fuck up things for you and Joel.”

“What do you mean?” she tilted her head to the side and watched Negan slide his palm down over the front of his face.

“I mean, you have the best possible man you could ever be with right there with you,” Negan admitted, knowing that Joel was twice the man he could have ever been. Joel was perfect and Negan wished he was more like him, but he knew he would never be. “I can’t come there knowing that I might mess up what the two of you have together.”

“Negan, we both love you…” Y/N reasoned with Negan and Negan smirked before nodding. “I heard what he did with saving you. He came home really upset.”

“He was upset?” Negan’s right eyebrow perked up and she bit down firmly on her bottom lip. “Why?”

“Negan, his daughter died getting hit by a car,” Y/N reminded him and she watched Negan’s face turn pale when she said that. “The idea of almost losing you from getting hit by a car really fucked him up. It made him think about his daughter and how he wasn’t there to save her.”

“But he was there to save me,” Negan muttered to himself, thinking about what had happened with Joel that day. It made him feel like shit that he didn’t realize that earlier. “You have a hero there on your hands and not just in the saving me from getting plowed down by a car. He just…he gives me faith in humanity. Something I never thought I would ever have.”

“So, you like him too, huh?” Y/N stated when she could see the expression that Negan had when she talked about Joel.

“It’s hard not to. He’s probably better than all of us,” Negan reasoned with her and she nodded. She felt blessed to have Joel in her life. There was so much good to him that he didn’t feel real sometimes. “I just need to know that being there with the two of you won’t ruin things.”

“Considering we’re both worried about you, I think it will make things easier,” she confessed, looking down toward her abdomen and she swallowed hard. “Actually, there is something I really need to tell you when I see you. Something that will prove that all four of us should really be together.”

“Oh?” Negan leaned his head back and yawned. “How about you tell me tomorrow? Tomorrow is Thursday, we are leaving on Friday…I’d like to look at our house. I know this is a weird time to put this on you, but I was thinking of probably getting our things out of that house. You and I can pick what we want to take with us to the cabin. Only the important things. Then I will get our stuff put away into storage together until we know what we need to do with it. Plus, I can get in a shower. I need one of those before we go. Lucille’s friend is supposed to come here for an hour or two. We can be quick, get what we need…I can get that shower in so I’m bearable on the drive up. You can tell me then.”

“You’re ready to get rid of the house, huh?” she felt her throat go dry and what Negan was admitting to her. She knew it would happen eventually but losing the house would be taking a lot of memories with it.

“Joel shouldn’t have to pay for a house that is just sitting there,” Negan stammered, seeing that her expression seemed disappointed when she said what he did. “Why does that make you upset?”

“It’s just…where we had our start, you know?” she reminded him and Negan half smiled, his tired eyes looking away from the phone for a moment. “So many important things happened there for us.”

“Our memories aren’t held together by a house,” Negan’s voice was quiet when he began to respond to her, “Our memories live on in our hearts. They continue to live on within ourselves as long as we open ourselves up to them.”

“That was exceedingly deep for you Negan,” she chuckled when her eyes teared over and she reached up to wipe at her face. “I’m just sentimental I guess.”

“Y/N, we’re going to be living together again. We can keep making memories together,” Negan pointed out, his own eyes tearing over when he stared out at her. “Just right now…I have to focus on Lucille and making things as special for her as I can.”

“I know that,” she agreed with him and sighed. “I want that for her too. She deserves to be happy. I wish this all wasn’t happening to her.”

“Me too,” Negan admitted with a pained breath knowing that he was trying to get through this without crying about what was happening to him. “Just meet me tomorrow at the house. Is that okay?”

“Of course,” she couldn’t deny him. Not now. “I’ll be there.”

“Good,” Negan bit at his bottom lip and reached up to brush his long fingers through his messy hair. “Y/N, I really…really have missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too,” she replied, tipping her head to the side when she could see that Negan was getting emotional with her.

“I love you, so much,” Negan muttered with a tremoring breath. “I hope you know that. After everything, I wish I could have been the man that made you happy like Joel does. I know you love me; you will always love me and I will always love you. I just…I need you to know before anything happens in my life to potentially change me—I have always and I will always love you. You’re the one person that made me want to be more. I just wish that I could have been that man that could be what you needed.”

“You were always what I needed Negan,” she lowered her gaze from the phone knowing that she was close to crying over what he said and she attempted to stop herself. “I would have done anything for you. I love you too.”

“Well, I’m glad that’s out there,” Negan smirked, reaching up to wipe at his face with the back of his hand. “At least we can still love each other still knowing that I belong with Lucille and you belong with Joel.”

“Right,” she nodded, feeling her heart hammering inside her chest when she could see a single tear sliding down Negan’s face. “Do you want to wait until tomorrow?”

“I have to,” Negan breathed out in a long shallow exhale. “But tomorrow. Meet me at our house at noon. Okay? We’ll talk then.”

“Sounds good,” she agreed, straightening up her posture in the seat she was in. “I’ll see you then.”

“I love you Y/N,” Negan brought his hand to his lips and blew her a kiss and she smiled involuntarily.

“I love you too,” she watched him give a single nod before the call ended. Lowering her phone back to her lap she felt the world spinning around her. There was something in the way that Negan talked to her that told her he felt like he was going to fall apart when Lucille died. It broke her that they even had to think like that.

The sound of barking pulled her from her thoughts when she looked over her shoulder to see Ghost running to her in the long length of Joel’s backyard. Laughing when he hopped into her lap on the lounge chair, she hugged the dog in her arms tightly and felt him licking her face from the obvious salty taste that her tears left. “Hey you…”

“I’m a bit jealous,” Joel’s deep southern voice filled the air and she looked back to see Joel walking down the backyard in his boxers. Joel reached down for Ghost’s ball and tossed it into the water. Ghost excitedly jumped out of her arms and into the water with a loud splash making the both of them smile. “I was hoping to get the first kiss this morning and he beat me to it.”

“Hey, you,” she slightly smiled, wiping at her face to try and hide that she was upset. The moment Joel saw her, he could tell something was wrong and she knew it. Joel knew her better than anyone.

“Morning beautiful,” Joel leaned down and she lifted up enough to meet him in a quick kiss, her palm sliding in over the side of his face. Joel pulled away, a confused expression over his face when he looked her over. “Everything okay?”

“Perfect,” she lied and scoot forward in the lounging chair, urging him to sit behind her. Joel did as she asked and sat down. When he was there comfortably, she leaned back into his chest and felt his muscular arms wrapping around her tightly. Linking her fingers with his, she felt Joel kissing her temple while they both stretched out on the chair.

“Don’t lie to me,” Joel muttered against her skin making her let out a heavy breath. “Talk to me.”

“You’re something else,” she cuddled in closer to him and held him closer to her. The warmth of him felt great in comparison to the coolness that had been surrounding her before. “I love you, you’re a good man.”

“Mhmm,” Joel pressed a loving kiss against the side of her face and rocked her in his arms while they watched Ghost pulling himself out of the water with the ball. Ghost came over beside them and dropped down watching the sunrise with them. “Now what’s up?”

“I was on the phone with Negan,” she couldn’t lie to him, so it was best to be honest with him. “He just said some things that got me…about us, about him.”

“Ah, well I reckon that makes sense then,” Joel seemed to be okay with what she said and she looked over her shoulder at him flustered. “I thought something was really wrong.”

“Most people wouldn’t be okay with their fiancée crying over their ex,” she pointed out again and she knew that they had talked about this previously, but she was so blown away by it. “Aren’t you at least jealous sometimes?”

“Of course I’m jealous. Negan just oozes sex appeal,” Joel acknowledged, clearing his throat when he thought about Negan. “I was so fucking shy, I hated getting into relationships. I wasn’t good with people, but Negan is so fucking confident. I wish I had some of that.”

“I like your shyness,” she squeezed her hands around his arm, feeling him nuzzling his nose against the side of her head. “It’s actually nice to have you not be like Negan.”

“But could you imagine having that kind of confidence? Heck, I can’t recall other than when I was a teenager ever having that kind of confidence,” Joel thought back to when he was young wondering if he was ever even that sure of himself.

“You kind of just answered your question. Negan kind of has a high schoolish personality,” Y/N retorted with a nervous sound knowing that Negan’s version of humor was always much younger and more immature than his age.

“Yeah, but he’s hot and he knows it and the way he has sex…” Joel began watching Y/N shift in his arms when she looked up at him. “You had sex with him when we were together. I saw the way he was with you. He just…knows what he’s doing. The man is incredible at reading people. Knowing what they like, knowing what to do to just make them fucking explode.”

“Uh huh,” she gave him a strange expression and Joel tilted his head to the side. “You shouldn’t be jealous of the way he has sex.”

“Why’s that?” Joel grunted, squeezing his arms around her tighter.

“Because I like sex with you just as much,” she heard Joel laugh and she shook her head. “I’m serious Joel. Sex with you is incredible. It’s not just sex, it’s love making with you. When you have that connection with something and you both are both so close on a personal level that’s something amazing. Negan did his best to make love to me a few times, but it’s nothing like the way you do it. While yes, with Negan, everyone enjoys raw fucking sometimes…”

“Well now,” Joel cleared his throat and laughed which caused her to shudder when his breath tickled down her spine.

“There are just times when a woman…or a man…needs to be made love to,” she thought about the times she had been with Joel. They weren’t sleeping together as much as she did with Negan, but her relationship with Joel was built on so much more than just sex. Unlike her relationship with Negan which focused on sex quite heavily throughout most of it. “And I’ve never felt so…loved than I do when I’m with you.”

“And here I was panicking,” Joel grumbled, while he held her closer to him. “I don’t know what your favorite position is. I don’t know what you like the most.”

“I just kind of do whatever someone else likes. That was kind of my relationship with Negan,” she recalled her relationship with Negan. “You were there. Negan just kind of controlled everything. He had an idea and he just went ahead with it.”

“Yeah, but you have to have a favorite,” Joel pointed out, getting more comfortable with her on the chair.

“What’s your favorite?” she lifted her head to look up at Joel and he rolled his eyes. “See, you don’t even know.”

“I just like being with you…” Joel explained and she held her hand up in the air.

“Yeah, but you cum harder when you’re being dominated,” she simply muttered making Joel choke when she said that before laughing. “I’m just saying…”

“I can tell you were dating Negan for a while,” Joel chuckled against the side of her neck, pressing a soft kiss against her flesh. “I’m not as open about sex and being as sexual as he is.”

“And you shouldn’t be. You could be just like him if you wanted to be, but I’m glad you’re not,” she admitted with a loud sigh. “I like you just the way you are.”

“There is one thing I’m kind of jealous of, on a serious level,” Joel let there be a silence between them for a moment before shifting behind her. “I wish I would have met you first.”

“Why is that?” she rest her head back somewhat to stare into his bright eyes.

“Because then you’d never have to worry like you do,” Joel stammered, reaching up to trace over her face. The delicate caress of his fingers caused a chill to run down her spine. The way Joel always looked at her was so enchanting. “You would have never had to experience the pain you have and you’d know my love is one hundred percent genuine.”

“I know that it is,” Y/N leaned into his touch and closed her eyes. That was one thing she knew. Joel was extremely genuine.

“Y/N…do you want to be engaged to me?” Joel interrupted their almost playful discussion making her sit up straight and look back over her shoulder at him. “With us being with Negan, he’s going to find out that we’re engaged. Are you…are you okay with that? If you aren’t and you’d rather be with him…”

“Negan is not the marrying type,” she denied Joel that answer and turned to face him in the chair so she could caress over the side of his face. “I don’t care if we’re living with Negan. I want to be married to you. You are the most amazing man I’ve ever known. You fight for those you love and I’ve never felt as safe as I do when I’m with you. I love you…so much.”

“I just know Negan…” Joel tried to reason and she hushed him, sliding her finger in over his lips to hush him.

“Negan is not better than you,” she insisted with an uncomfortable exhale. “That’s what is so sexy about you too Joel. You think about someone other than yourself. I was always so worried about how I was with Negan. Was I kissing him right? Was I performing sexually well enough to keep him around?”

“I think we all worry about those kinds of things,” Joel shrugged and realized that he was just very self-conscious about things so he assumed everyone was that way.

“Let me ask you this…if you could change one thing about me to make me more appealing, what would it be?” she reached out to cup his squared jaw in her hands, caressing her thumbs over the short beard covering his face. “Like my clothing choices…being dirtier in bed…”

“Why would I want to change something? You are who you are and what you are is perfect,” Joel interrupted her, his nose wrinkling when he reached up to palm in over the side of her neck. “If you are going to love someone, you need to love them the way they are. Accept them for how they are…”

“There is always something that could be changed,” she thought back to things that Negan had changed about her when they had started seeing each other. Negan had changed the way she had dressed. He urged her to wear a sexier lingerie and trained her in the things that he liked and to talk to ‘sexier’. “Everyone would prefer something more…something different.”

“You are perfect. We’ve already gone over this though,” Joel hushed her, reaching out to brush her hair from her eyes. Joel smirked and looked to Ghost who was lying beside them on the grass with the ball he had just retrieved from the water. “I know you don’t believe it, but you’re amazing. There isn’t a thing about you that I would change. I like you, just the way you are. You never have to change for me.”

“Fuck…” she released a long breath of air and saw the amused expression that Joel gave her. While Negan was amazing with her and obviously loved her, he changed her so much by the time that they had finally gotten together. With Joel, Y/N was completely unfiltered, was a total mess and yet…Joel still loved her. “And that…that’s why I want to be with you. Not Negan. I’m a mess and you just…love me for me.”

“Of course I do,” Joel leaned up to meet her in a desperate kiss.

“I would never question getting married to you when you make me feel…so loved,” she nibbled at Joel’s bottom lip hearing him hum with approval before grunting when she nipped a bit harder at his flesh. “We love Negan and he can be with us, but…you are the man I want to be married to. Don’t even doubt that.”

“Yeah?” Joel confirmed and she nodded desperately grabbing at the sides of his face. Y/N moved in to kiss Joel over and over again.

“When I think of perfection, I picture you,” she slid her hands up his chest, tracing over the hard muscle beneath her touch. “You have the most beautiful chest and arms I’ve ever seen…”

“You’ve said that once or twice,” Joel reminded her, watching her dip down to deposit wet kisses over his chest. Joel felt the lump in his throat growing while she caressed over his body with her wet mouth.

“You’re sassy, but within reason,” she nipped at his flesh and heard him growl when she did it. “Yet you remain to be the most loving, kind, forgiving, understanding man I’ve ever known. You’re my best friend, you know me more than I know myself…”

“Hey,” Joel reached for her face to cup it softly in his hand to meet her expression with his green-hazel eyes. “You don’t have to say all of this.”

“It’s true. There is so much about me that needs work, but with you I feel better. With you, I feel as close to perfect as I can get Joel. I love you and I want to be married to you. Having Negan in our lives is not going to change that,” Y/N knew that she truly felt that way. Having Negan there would complete that empty feeling she had, but Joel made her feel full and happy. Crawling carefully in over Joel’s lap, she reached for the bottom of his shirt she was wearing and pulled it up her body. Tossing the material beside them, she saw Joel’s eyes get wide at her bold movement. “You’re amazing.”

“Wow,” Joel swallowed down hard and she was in awe of the way the green in his hazel eyes sparkled with the sunrise in them. He was shocked with her brave move, but still slid his rough palms in over the sides of her body causing her to tremor.

“You need to learn how to relax,” she instructed reaching for his hands so he could grasp over her breasts and palm them in his tender caress. “That’s the only thing you could probably learn from Negan.”

“You want me to relax while we’re in my backyard and you’re topless over me?” Joel snickered and she teased her fingers through the dark hair covering his chest. Looking beside them, Joel saw Ghost asleep and he cleared his throat uncomfortably. “Should we…should we be doing this in front of the dog?”

“You’re too much,” she laughed, leaning forward to press a wet kiss over his lips and he moaned into her mouth when she ground her hips into his. “I think the dog is going to be fine.”

“He’s like a child; he shouldn’t have to see this…” Joel’s hands settled in over her hips and his response made Y/N laugh again.

“He’s seen worse,” she assured him with a firm expression that still resembled her cracking up to his nervousness of having sex around the dog. “He’s sleeping though, so if you’re quiet, I’m sure everything will be okay.”

“Yes ma’am,” Joel’s southern tone filled the air and Y/N smirked. Tugging the material of Joel’s boxers down his body he helped lift his hips up for her so she could pull the material from his body. Dropping it by the shirt she discarded, she could see Joel look around to make sure they were the only ones out. The muscles in Joel’s thighs flexed when she leaned forward to caress over them making him let out a tense breath.

“The way you look at me,” she moved in over Joel and saw the absolute adoration he had for her, “It’s incredible.”

“You’re incredible,” he whispered, sliding his hands up over the small of her back and toward her shoulders before one of his hands hooked around the back of her neck to carefully pull her in closer to him so he could kiss her. A muted groan fell from his throat when her body lowered down over his and she desperately wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “God, you’re beautiful.”

“Sometimes I don’t think I deserve you,” she kissed over the side of neck while softly rolling her hips over his time and time again. Joel’s soft moans were like music to her ears while she grasped tightly to his thick hair. “I worry that I’m the Negan in our relationship.”

“Oh, no…” Joel smiled, pulling his head back slightly to look up at her. “Negan doesn’t have breasts like yours…he could never be you.”

“Jesus Joel,” she laughed falling forward, her forehead pressing against his when he cracked a joke. That was one thing Joel had with her. During sex, Negan was so fucking serious and in the moment. Whereas with Joel they could laugh, talk and enjoy each other.

“I’m just being honest,” he chuckled meeting her lips in a desperate kiss while his hands settled in over her hips to help her rock her body over his and moaned against her mouth. “You’re the one that saved me Y/N. Not the other way around. You mean so much to me and I can’t picture a life without you in it.”

“You’re so sweet,” she pulled him back to her so she could kiss him.

“You know, Negan could still marry both of us,” Joel dropped his head back against the chair, looking down between them while she moved over him. “Well…not marry us, but he can get me one of those nifty promise rings and…”

“Shut up,” she chuckled, reaching back to brace her hands over his thighs and he kept a firm hold of her to help aid in her movements. “I forget what a sarcastic shit you are sometimes.”

“Now I can’t stop picturing Negan with tits,” Joel grumbled with a snort of a laugh making her laugh again. Her hand reached out to playfully smack at the side of his face and Joel reached out to pull her in closer to him. She rest her jaw over his shoulder while he kissed at the side of her neck over and over again. “All jokes aside…God, I love you.”

“I love you too,” she breathed knowing that Joel made her feel special and she was so glad that he was the person she would be going through everything with.

----

“Hey beautiful,” Negan lifted his head from his phone when they started wheeling Lucille back into the hospital room. Lucille offered up a weak smile when Negan got up from where he was sitting and helped the nurse return Lucille where she was supposed to be. “I was looking forward to seeing your face.”

“You’re silly,” Lucille reached out to press her hand in over the side of Negan’s face. “Shouldn’t you be getting things done before Friday?”

“I’ve been working on them. I’m going to finish things tomorrow,” Negan assured her with a wink knowing that he had already explained everything to her about where they were going. Lucille didn’t disagree with him that it would be for the best. He knew that she was sick of being in the hospital too. Joel had sent him the information on the hospital that was by the cabin they were apparently going to and Joel was right when he said it was one of the top hospitals in the country. So, if something happened while they were there, they weren’t far away from good people that could help Lucille. “You doing okay?”

“Just really tired,” she weakly muttered and Negan moved in closer to the bed, stroking his palm in over her forehead. “And dizzy.”

“Well pretty soon we’re going to get you out of here. My friend has set up the best transportation for us so we can get you out into some nature,” Negan informed her with a bright smile, tipping in to press a loving kiss over her temple. “You sure you are going to be okay with that?”

“It’s better than here,” Lucille weakly smiled, her bright green eyes seemingly a bit dull in color as opposed to how they used to be. “It will be good for you.”

“Me?” Negan tilted his head to the side and she licked at her dry lips before swallowing down hard. She nodded making a half smile press in over Negan’s tired features. “Why do you say that?”

“You need to rest. You need a break,” she muttered and it was almost in a whisper. Negan slid his palm in over the side of her face and he traced his thumb over her cheekbone. “From…all of this.”

“I’m still going to be at your side babe, you’re stuck with me,” Negan leaned forward, pressing loving kisses over the side of her face making Lucille smile. Weakly, she squeezed at Negan’s hand and locked her eyes on his. “Nothing is changing when we leave. It will just be more comfortable for us, but I’m not leaving your side.”

“Negan,” she frowned, her eyebrows clenching together while she thought about something. “I just want you happy.”

“Here with you makes me happy sweetheart,” Negan gave her a wink and got comfortable resting at the edge of the hospital bed while he stared out at her. “Just being with you makes me happy.”

“You’re miserable,” she frowned and Negan shook his head immediately. “I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this.”

“I would do this all over again to be with you Lucille,” Negan shook his head and continued to caress over the side of her face while he spoke to her. The tracing of his rough fingers over the side of her face seemed to calm her and he felt his heart breaking looking at her. She was so beautiful, but she was pale and a lot thinner than what he was used to. Even so, Negan still found her just as beautiful as ever. “I’m so sorry you are going through this. If I could switch places with you…I would…”

“You need to start looking up,” she suggested with a shake of her head. “We can’t change what already is.”

“Doesn’t mean I don’t curse God for this,” Negan answered, his eyes narrowing while he thought about her being sick. “You don’t deserve this.”

“No one deserves this,” Lucille corrected him with a long sigh and she shrugged her shoulders. “It happened, now we just have to cherish what we had.”

“It’s made me think of all of that should have been,” Negan confessed and he knew that Lucille would want that to be something he wouldn’t do, but he couldn’t help it. There was no doubt that Lucille was dying and he knew that. He didn’t want to believe it. He wanted to believe that by a miracle she would pull through and be able to go back to a normal life, but they knew now that was impossible. They just had to do what they could to keep her comfortable and around for as long as they could. “I keep thinking about what we should have done.”

“You can’t do that. We’ve talked about this,” she sighed, finding it hard to really find the energy to fight with Negan over this. She said it before, he knew how she felt about everything. “It’ll just make you sad.”

“But I am sad Lucille. I just wish we could have had that baby and we could have had a family,” Negan stammered, his voice shaken while he thought about their past together. “For so long we had dreams about having a family and I just wish we had that, you know? I wish we could have had a family and we could have been happy.”

“You would have been a good dad,” Lucille made Negan smile when she said it and she saw him lower his head down. Shakily reaching her hand out, she slid it in over the side of his face and traced over his rough features.

“I wish. I always wanted to be a dad, you know? Could you imagine what that would have been like? God, that would have been everything to me,” Negan finally explained to her how he felt about having children, although it was a little too late to actually feel that way. “When we got married, I wanted it all. You know? The white picket fence, the happy family. Maybe a boy and a girl. So much I longed to be a dad. I thought we would have the cutest kids. You know?”

Lucille nodded and Negan could feel his eyes tearing over as he spoke to her about the idea of children with her, “I wanted a baby just as much as you did Lucille. I just never said how disappointed I was about not being able to have one because I didn’t want to take away how you felt about it. With it being my fault, I figured I only had myself to blame.”

“It’s not your fault,” she felt guilty hearing him say that. “It’s not.”

“You should be surrounded by people who love you. Kids that help leave your legacy behind when we’re no longer here,” Negan rambled, reaching up to caress over Lucille’s hand that was still softly touching his face. “I wish we could have had that so much.”

“I wish we could have shared a lot of moments together too Negan. I love you,” she felt her arm getting weak and she had to lower it to the bed, her eyes getting heavy while she let out a shuddering exhale. “So much.”

“I love you too,” Negan leaned forward to press a peck over her lips and he saw a weak smile press over her features. “You are everything to me and I’m so lucky to have you in my life.”

“Ditto,” she winced almost and Negan’s head tilted to the side. “It’s not too late.”

“For what?” Negan grabbed a soft hold of her hand and caressed his thumb over her pulse point.

“To be a good dad,” she responded, clearing her throat as she spoke. “This trip…this cabin…it will be a good start.”

“What?” Negan found himself confused with what she was saying and he lowered is his head. “Yeah, I think it’s going to work well for us to have a fresh start on feeling better. A fresh start on being more comfortable.”

“No…Negan,” Negan could feel her hand shaking and his gaze locked on hers when he saw a sense of fear behind her eyes and his smile faded.

“Lucille?” Negan watched her head fall back and hit the pillow. Quickly moving to his feet, Negan reached out to urge his hand against the side of her face to try to pull her awake. “Hey? Baby? Baby wake up.”

Negan lowered his head against her chest to make sure that her heart was still beating and when he heard that it was, he quickly reached for the red button that was beside her bed to get help from the nurses. Frantically, Negan tried to wake her back up and he could sense that something was different this time.

Yes, she had been exhausted before and she had fallen asleep mid conversation, but the way she was shaking and the final look she gave him scared the hell out him. It was different and he could tell it. It was fear she looked at him with last and his heart was pounding inside of his chest. Every part of him was shaking and he didn’t know what to do.

“Lucille,” Negan repeated her name again and again until finally a few nurses showed up in Lucille’s room. It took a lot to get Negan away from her while they tried to figure out what was happening with Lucille. Negan didn’t want to leave her side. Hell, he didn’t want anyone near her, but him, but the nurses forced him away toward the corner.

An incredible sense of fear overwhelmed Negan’s body while he watched the woman that he loved getting worked on by the medical staff that had flooded into the room. Panic rushed through his veins and he felt everything inside of him locking up. This couldn’t be the end. It just couldn’t be.

----

Tags: @slutlanna976 @nubbinrobin @oreostars @fuckthis-and-fuckthat @jennydehavilland @felicity291 @de-gabyconamor @ibelongtonegan @smallsadjellyfish @labyrinthofheartagrams @msjamesmarch @thebeautysurrounds @hotfornegan @redmercysugar @caprithebunny @iluvneganandjamie @ninamarietwd @tuttifuckinfruitty @emoryhemsworth @a-girl-interupted @akumune @stoneyggirl @xsarcasticwriterx

#Jeffrey Dean Morgan #Negan #negan x reader #negan fanfiction #The Walking Dead #twd fanfiction

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songtoyou · 3 years

Text

Epiphany - Part Four

Paring: Luke Crain x Female Reader

Chapter Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 3,080

Warnings: Talks of drug use and recovery. Swearing and self-doubt.

Description: Life has never been easy for Luke Crain. After the death of Nell, Luke realizes that he needs to make some changes. He decided to stay in Massachusetts and attend rehab. He was determined to remain on his path of sobriety. When you get assigned to be Luke’s sponsor, it opens a new door of possibilities that neither you nor Luke expected.

A/N: I am sorry that it has taken me so long to write and upload this chapter. I have not been feeling so good since I posted that last chapter. Lots of anxiety keeping me from doing things such as write. Anyway, here is the new chapter. I wanted to write about Aunt Janet. I felt that the show didn’t really tell us much about her except that she took care of the kids after the events of Hill House in 1992.

Note: Italics represent the past or past conversations.

Feedback is wonderful. It is nice knowing if people are actually liking this fic.

I do not permit my work to be posted on any other site without my permission.

Tag list: @morningstar09

~Aunt Janet’s House – 2002 ~

“Luke! Hurry up, or you’re going to be late for school!” Aunt Janet yelled up the stairs.

“Luke! Come on!” exclaimed Nellie. “I’ll go check on him.”

“Thanks, sweetie,” said Janet. Her youngest nephew often worried her, especially since it was the tenth anniversary of Olivia’s death this past summer. Janet started to notice that Luke became more recluse and stayed up in his room. The only person Luke would interact with was Nell, which was not surprising to Janet. The twins only managed to become closer as they got older.

What really began to cause Janet to worry was catching Luke steal money from her purse. She asked him what he was doing and why he was stealing. However, Luke could come up with a pretty decent lie about needing money to buy flowers for Olivia’s grave.

In truth, it was to buy beer. Luke had taken a liking to the barley and hops beverage. It helped him feel numb and not worry about anything. Unfortunately, Luke had one too many beers last night and was paying for it. Nellie found him headfirst in the toilet regurgitating the contents of his late-night beer binge.

“Eww, gross. What is wrong with you?” asked Nellie. She pinched her nose as the stench of Luke’s puke was overwhelming.

“What does it look like! I’m sick! Tell Aunt Janet that I can’t go to school.”

“Luke, come on. You have missed too many days already. They’re going to hold you back another year if you miss any more school,” Nellie argued while searching through Luke’s drawers and closet for clothes.

Luke managed to get up from the bathroom floor when he felt it was safe. He rinsed out his mouth to relieve it from the after taste of throw-up.

“Come on! Get cleaned up and put these on,” ordered Nell and shoved Luke’s clothes in his arms.

Luke groaned and plopped down on his bed. “Nellie…I can’t go to school today. I’m too sick.”

“Well, your sickness is also making me sick, but I managed to get up and ready for school today. Now move it! I’ll keep bugging you if you don’t move. I’m not going to let you fall to the waste side. Do you hear me, Luke?”

“Fine! I’m getting dressed!” Luke yelled to get Nellie off of his back.

No matter what occurred between them, neither twin could ever hate the other. They were each other’s best friends and closest confidante. They had to be. Especially now that they were the last two left in Aunt Janet’s care. As soon as their eldest siblings turned eighteen, they hightailed it out of Janet’s house for college.

Luke slowly trudges down the stairs with his backpack slumped on his shoulders.

“Hey, there he is,” greeted Aunt Janet. “Would you like some breakfast, sweetie?”

“No! No breakfast,” Luke replied with his head on the table.

However, Nellie pushed a plate of dry toast in front of him and told him to at least nibble some bites. “Here’s some orange juice. Take slow sips. The last thing we need is you spewing junks in the toilet again,” whispered Nellie while Aunt Janet was in the kitchen. She would not out that her brother was hungover. That last thing Nell wanted was to cause any more trouble for Luke.

She knew why Luke did not want to go to school, and it had to do with, what else, their family. Some of the kids at school saw Luke as an easy target to bully and terrorize. The topic of their “messed-up” family was their go-to whenever they wanted to antagonize Luke. Nell often found herself a target for bullies but could stand up for herself a lot better than Luke.

With the anniversary of Olivia’s death, the bullies made it their mission to torment Luke about growing up without a mother or father. They would push him against the lockers, knocking his glasses off his face, and trip him in the hallways. It was too much to handle, and Luke was tired.

Leaning back in his chair, Luke re-read the words on the computer screen. His instructor loved the essay he turned in and advised him to expand upon it. Luke pushed aside his reservations about exploring his past traumas through writing. It was a better outlet for Luke to help cope and tackle past stressful life experiences. Not only did Luke have support from his instructor and you, but his counselor at Banyan Treatment Center, Rob, also supported the idea of using expressive writing as a way to heal.

Luke could not deny that writing helped clear his head. Something he learned while being in rehab back in Los Angeles. It allowed him to face things from his past that he had pushed aside. However, Luke had some reservations about how much he should…open himself up when it comes to sorting out his past events. There were still things that Luke was not quite ready to face.

Oh my God!" exclaimed Luke. "It has been a month and a half since we have seen that movie. It would be best if you got over the ending. It happened. There is nothing you can do about it."

"I can't, Luke. It was total bullshit!" you yelled back furiously.

Luke calmly said your name to get your attention. "Listen to me; we don't even know if Steve Rogers actually stayed back in time to be with Peggy. He may have…"

"Then where did he go? Huh? He just up and left his friends who he just got back. Steve and Peggy never even dated! They kissed, that is it. Yes, there was an attraction that each had for one another, but that was all it ever way…an attraction. They are a 'what could have been' type of couple—the movie completely throughout all of Steve's character development…right out the window. Whatever, I'm over it," you stated, throwing your hands up in defeat.

You and Luke were driving to his Aunt Janet's house for a visit. He mentioned to you about wanting to visit his aunt for some time but had not gotten around to it. You were surprised that he asked you to come along.

Luke mentioned that Shirley and Theo were too busy to come with him and did not want to go alone. You agreed on the condition that he drive since Aunt Janet lived an hour and a half away from Wilmington. Lately, your anxiety has been going up and down, so you were not comfortable being at the hands of the wheel, especially on the freeway. You did not understand why you had such anxiety these past few days. You chalked it up to being nervous about your final project at school. The assignment was to create a self-portrait. It should be simple enough, but of course, the art instructor wanted students to "think outside of the box" and not have it be a regular standard portrait of themselves.

Each draft you came up with was of you in some state of turmoil, whether it be you depicted on a gurney getting resuscitated from your heroin overdose or lying in a pool of your own vomit. You could not understand why this particular project was giving you such a hard time. You were three-years sober. You had a steady job and gone back to school. Your relationship with your parents was better than ever. So, why the thought of a self-portrait brought upon negative thoughts about oneself?

You mentioned your troubles to Luke, and he was very sympathetic. While he was now 206 days sober, there were times where he felt…like the achievement did not mean much.

"What do you mean by that?" you asked him while on the way to Aunt Janet's house.

"It's just…this isn't my first rodeo when it comes to recovery," Luke began to say. "There is always this little voice in the back of my head that…"

"That it is only temporary. I have that little voice too. I'm not too fond of that little voice. Three years sober, and there are times where I still feel like a total failure. I shouldn't, but…I can't help it," you revealed to Luke honestly.

"Thankfully, there is another little voice in the back of my head that gives tells me that I'm doing a good job now and then. It's just that positive little voice has been a tad quiet lately," you added.

Luke could pick up on the little defeatist tone in your voice, and he did not like it. You immediately felt his worry about you. "Hey," you said to get his attention and placed a hand on his arm. "Don't worry about me, okay. I'm fine. I have my fears like every recovering addict. It is nice to talk to someone about it, particularly someone who understands, you know. That helps."

Silence soon filled the car, but it was not awkward. You never had awkward or uncomfortable silences with Luke. For some reason, Luke was one of the few comforting presences in your life. Regardless of all of the hardships he has gone through in his life, he offered a sense of hopefulness. With his 6'3 stature, Luke really came off more like a gentle giant. It was like he did not view himself as this grown tall man, but probably still felt like that little kid hiding under the bed from the "Tall Man" at Hill House.

"Luke," you said to get his attention. "Are you happy?"

"No," he replied immediately, then clarified when he saw the look you gave him. "I mean, am I happy that I am over 200 days clean, then yes I am, very much so. But…I don't know, there is a small part of me that is scared to be happy…to be content in fear of something going wrong."

When Luke pulled the car into Aunt Janet's driveway, the older woman immediately came out of the house to greet her youngest nephew.

"There he is, my little boy," she said and wrapped her arms around Luke, which he reciprocated.

"Hi Aunt Janet, how are you?"

"I'm fine, darling. How have you been?" Aunt Janet asked, pulling away to get a good look at Luke. He looked much better than he did at Nell's funeral.

"Good. I'm doing good. Everyone is doing…fine," Luke replied, then turned towards you. He introduced you as his friend and not his sponsor to his Aunt, which kind of surprised you.

"So nice to meet you," said Aunt Janet taking your hand. She motioned for you both to follow her into the house. "I hope you both are hungry. I made an array of sandwiches and salads for lunch. Luke, I also made your favorite…chocolate pecan pie bars."

"Thank the Lord because he was hoping you would make them on the car ride here. It was all he talked about?" you teased.

"Once you have one, then you will know what I am talking about," Luke responded with a smile.

Aunt Janet lead you both into the kitchen.

"Can I use the bathroom to freshen up?" you asked her.

"Oh yes, dear. It is down that hallway, the first door to the right," told Aunt Janet as she showed you where to go. "Luke, you should probably wash your hands first," she added.

"Yes, Aunt Janet," he said and went to the sink to wash his hands.

When you were no longer in earshot, Aunt Janet stood beside her nephew and said, "Your friend seems really sweet."

Luke could not hold back his smile, "Yeah, she is genuinely nice. She's fun to hang out with. We have a lot of the same interests. Shirley and Theo have met her as well," he mentioned and shared that both of his sisters really liked you.

Aunt Janet turned her head to see if you came if you were around the corner. When you were not, she leaned over to Luke and said, "Very pretty too. She'd make a lovely…"

"Aunt Janet, she is just a friend. I can't date her anyway. She's…they say you shouldn't date anyone while still in recovery."

"I'm so proud of you," Aunt Janet said as she placed the food on the kitchen table. "You are becoming the man I always knew you could be."

Luke would be lying to himself if he denied that there was some form of attraction that he had for you, both physically and emotionally. He knew that the feelings that he was slowly developing towards you could be considered wrong. You were his sponsor…a dedicated one at that too. It would not be right for him to act on any attraction he may have for you—no doubt, that you would not reciprocate them, which would be disappointing to Luke.

"Better to just suffer in silence," Luke thought to himself.

"Don't you want a girlfriend? A family of your own someday?" asked Aunt Janet.

"Yeah…maybe. Someday. I'm just learning to take care of myself without drugs in my system. There is no way I can be a dedicated father or husband to anyone… at least not right now. I am still a work in progress," Luke admitted to his aunt. "I do like…" But Luke stopped when he heard your footsteps approaching.

"Oh, my goodness. The pictures on the wall… I'm assuming the little kid with glasses is you, Luke."

The three of you sat around the kitchen table with your plates stacked with delicious food.

"Luke was the absolute cutest kid. He had a little lisp as well," Aunt Janet shared. "I have more pictures of the kids if you would like to see them?"

"Yes," you replied ecstatically.

"No," Luke disputed, "We are in the middle of eating."

"We can multitask. Let's see those pictures," you asserted gleefully while Aunt Janet got up from the table.

With a belly full of food, the three you were now sitting outside on the patio, drinking tea, and eating Aunt Janet's yummy chocolate pecan pie bars. You already looked through three photo albums that showed Luke and his siblings' younger years.

"I wanted to take as many pictures as I could of the kids. They hated it, but I told 'em they would appreciate it when they got older," expressed Aunt Janet. "Here's a picture of Nell on her wedding day. That's her husband, Arthur. Sadly, he passed away a couple of months after they got married. But…they are together now."

You looked at the photo of the young couple. Nell looked very much like her older sisters and her mother. You could tell that there was a kindness about Nell just by looking at the picture. She was the type of person to go above and beyond for her family and even strangers. Luke would say that Nell was just that type of person to care about everyone, no matter who they were or where they came from.

Luke did share with you that one of his biggest regrets was not going to Nell's wedding. He said that he tried, but Shirley told him to leave. Luke said that it was for the best and that he was in no right state of mind to support his twin the way she deserved on her wedding day.

Thankfully for Luke, Nell understood and held no hard feelings. She never did when it came to her other half.

Aunt Janet began to sniffle, and when you looked up from the photo, you saw the older woman dab her eyes with a napkin. Out of instinct, Luke grabbed his Aunt's tiny hand and squeezed it with his as a way to show support. Just as he was Aunt Janet's little boy, Nell was her little girl. She was the one to raise them, take care of them, and guide them into adulthood.

None of the Crain children were perfect; they were far beyond that notion. However, there is no denying that if they did not have Aunt Janet take care of them and love them, they could have been worse off. Luke had the overwhelming feeling of guilt encompassing him at the moment as Aunt Janet tried to hold back her tears.

You instantly looked up at Luke. You could feel his sense of guilt towards the way he treated his aunt while growing up. He looked over at you. It was a silent conversation you both were having between one another. You mouthed, "Do you want me to go?" so he could have this moment alone.

With a shake of his head, 'No,' Luke spoke up to get his aunt's attention. "Aunt Janet…I'm sorry. I'm sorry for…for all the Hell I put you through while living here. You did so much for Nell and me, and the others that I…shit all over it. I stole and lied to you like it was my job. You deserved better. I just want you to know that…me getting hooked on drugs…well…that was…no matter what had happened…it was my choice to go down that path of destruction. I love you, Aunt Janet, and I am so appreciative of the sacrifices you made for my siblings and me. I wish that I weren't such a fuck up…"

"Oh sweetheart, no, you are not a…fuck up," Aunt Janet interjected and continued, "Not at all. I love you so much that…I would do anything for you, you know that, right? Your childhood is in the past. It happened. It is a part of you. The fact that you are continuing to remain clean after all that has occurred…well, that is something you should be most proud of. It shows that you are dedicated to your sobriety and turning your life around. No one said this process was easy, but you stayed the course and continued to make good decisions. As I told you earlier, you are becoming the man I always knew you could be."

"Now, I'm going to cry," Luke giggled as he dabbed his eyes with a napkin. "I didn't mean to turn this into a sob fest, but I wanted you to know that I'm sorry for what I put you through and that I love you very much, Aunt Janet."

Aunt Janet emerged from her seat to wrap her arms around her nephew and kiss the top of his head. It was a sweet moment to witness.

#luke crain #luke crain x reader #luke crain x female reader #the haunting of hill house #oliver jackson cohen

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magicalmarauder · 4 years

Text

Missing Piece

Pairing: Shawn Mendes x Reader

Warnings: None!

Word Count: 3k+

Summary: You and Shawn have been dating for about a year and share a beautiful relationship together. And a huge part of that relationship includes Shawn’s four-year-old daughter. However, when you are watching said daughter for the afternoon, she suffers from a severe allergic reaction and you must rush her to the ER. How will Shawn react? Will your relationship be able to survive this?

“Madelyn!” You called out as you placed the finishing touches on the apple pie recipe you had tirelessly been working on all afternoon in the efforts of getting on the good side of the sassy, yet sweet toddler you were currently watching.

“Coming!” You heard a small voice shout back, followed by rapid footsteps bounding down the hallway.

“No running!” You warned, shaking your head fondly at the little girl that you had quickly come to adore.

“Sorry!” A sheepish voice responded, followed by the sound of small, little footsteps carrying on at a much slower and safer pace.

This is what your life consisted of now. Pretending to be princesses while hosting tea parties for a company of very distinguished stuffed animals. Tickle wars in an attempt to tire out the little girl with an energy level that knew no limits. Wiping stuffy noses. Inventing bedtime stories out of the depths of your imagination in an attempt to entertain the toddler who already had every other storybook memorized. It was crazy and it was chaotic and it certainly was not where you envisioned your life to be at this stage, but you wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

Last year, you had no idea the adventure that you would be taken on when you met the one and only Shawn Mendes. Being a bit of a social recluse and definitely not up on the latest pop culture, you not only had no idea that the adorable, curly-haired boy sending butterflies straight to your stomach was not only an international pop-sensation, but the father of an incredible four-year old little girl.

Although you had learned pretty quickly that the boy that was quickly capturing your heart was no ordinary man, what with all the cameras that were constantly trailing him, it wasn’t until after the third date that he broke down and confessed that there was another girl in his life. A daughter. The result of an impassioned night a few years ago that had completely altered the course of his life forever.

You remembered that night quite vividly. You remembered how Shawn had barely been able to look you in the eye, too scared to see your reaction and lose what he could already see was the beginning of a beautiful and long-lasting relationship. He hadn’t wanted to do anything to risk losing you, but his daughter came first. She always had and she always would. And if you couldn’t get on board with that, it would absolutely devastate him, but you would have to let each other go.

So, it came as quite a surprise when you merely smiled at him and asked her name and what she was like.

Shawn had stared at you in shock, mouth slightly hanging open in disbelief, that not being the reaction he had prepared himself for. However, he had recovered quickly enough and immediately launched into a beautiful description of the little girl who held his entire heart.

Hearing him talk about his daughter had filled you with such an awe for the man before you. Obviously, you had seen the powerful bond between parent and child at play in the lives of many close friends and family members, but there seemed to be something special between Shawn and Madelyn. You weren’t sure if it was the fact that he had raised her himself and it had always been the two of them against the world or if it was because the two of them were so strikingly, shockingly similar that they connected and understood one another on a level that no one else could comprehend. Or maybe it was a combination of the two or something entirely different. Whatever the reason though, you found their relationship completely endearing and found yourself already falling in love with the little girl Shawn painted such a vivid picture of.

That night had ended with you placing a kiss on his cheek, thanking him for opening up and being honest about such a special, intimate part of his life and sharing your hope to one day meet the special little girl.

Shawn had grinned, a light blush dusting his cheeks, stating that he couldn’t wait for that day too. The day where his family would be complete. He didn’t know if he was jumping the gun, but he didn’t care. He could already see you fitting seamlessly into his life with himself and his daughter, the missing puzzle piece in both of their lives.

However, despite his confidence, it wasn’t until about a month later that you were actually introduced to little Madelyn. Shawn and yourself had both been extremely nervous for this moment, recognizing the gravity behind it. Nevertheless, after introducing you as his new friend, Madi had confidently grabbed your hand, dragged you over to her play room, and given you a role to play in the tea party she was throwing.

And the rest was history.

You and Madi had clicked instantly. There was never any discomfort or awkwardness. Madi felt comfortable speaking freely in front of you and would constantly ask Shawn when the next time she would be able to see you, claiming you were her favorite play mate and joking that the food at dinner was always a lot better when you were involved.

And now here you were, almost a year later, a natural part of their lives and neither Shawn, Madi, or yourself could imagine things any differently. They brought love and laughter into your life and you brought a peace and life into theirs that had been absent for so long. You fit so perfectly into their lives, just as Shawn had predicted all that time ago when you had first met.

So, as you had said, this wasn’t at all how you would have anticipated your life to play out, but you wouldn’t trade it for the world. That little girl may not have been yours by blood, but she was yours in every other sense of the world. You cuddled her when she was sick, kissed her scraped knees and elbows, and played hour after hour of whatever made-up game she had created for that day. And you did it all with a smile on your face and love in your heart.

Shawn had quickly noticed the attachment formed between his daughter and yourself as well, which was why he trusted you whole-heartedly to look after her. With his job, he was constantly traveling to play shows, create music in the studio, do interviews, or attend award shows. Granted, he didn’t travel as much as he did before Madelyn, but he was still away quite a bit. Before meeting you, his parents had been the one to watch Madi while he was away, but as the two of you had gotten more serious, you had both talked with each other and with Madelyn and finally agreed that you staying with Madelyn would be best. Shawn had been nervous to say the least while away that first time; however, his nerves were quickly assuaged upon returning home and discovering a large fort set up in the middle of the living room, dolls scattered everywhere, and huge grins on both of your faces.

Things had been going so well ever since and you wouldn’t trade one moment of your crazy journey for anything in the world.

“Oooh!! Yummy!” A sudden voice squealed, pulling you out of your daydream and focusing your attention on the girl in front of you, messy curls flying everywhere, mismatched socks on her feet, and bright red lipstick painted messily on her little lips.

“Uh, uh, uh” you scolded. “This is for AFTER dinner.” Swiftly, you pushed the pie further back onto the counter where her grabby hands wouldn’t be able to reach. That girl had a sweet tooth like no other. You swore she had some sort of magnetic ability to sniff out sweets within a ten-mile radius.

“Aww, please, Y/N! Please!” She begged, jutting her bottom lip out and looking at you with those big doe-eyes. “Just one little piece, please!”

You looked down at her, biting your lip in consideration. Handing out dessert before dinner was definitely not a good precedent to set, especially with this little sugar monster, but you couldn’t deny that your mouth was watering for a slice of pie too. You were a nurse at the local hospital and lately your hours had been stacking up. Your unit was short-staffed and the patients coming in seemed to be sicker and more demanding than ever. You were exhausted. Not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. You felt like you were a zombie merely going through the motions lately. You huffed internally. Damn it, you worked hard. And if you wanted to relax with a piece of pie, you damn well would.

“Alright,” you finally relented, eliciting a wave of squeals and excited bouncing from the little girl. “But only one piece,” you stated firmly. “And your dad doesn’t find out,” you added on.

Madi nodded enthusiastically. “Cross my heart,” she stated seriously, bounces dying down as she looked up at you in an effort to convey the truth of her statement.

You nodded, exchanging a conspiratorial grin with the girl before dishing up a plate for her and yourself.

“Go sit down at the table and I’ll grab you a glass of milk.”

“Okay!” She agreed happily, taking a hold of her plate and walking over to the table.

Opening the cabinet, you searched for a glass before diving into the refrigerator for the jug of milk that had somehow gotten pushed all the way to the back of the shelf.

“How’s it tasting, Madi?” You asked, knowing her well enough to know that there was no way she was going to wait for you to join her before digging into her dessert.

“Madi?” You questioned, when you didn’t get the usual satisfied sigh and mumbled response through a mouth full of food.

“MADI?!” You screamed again as you turned and noticed her clutching her throat, struggling to take in a breath of air, eyes looking at you in panic.

“Oh my gosh,” you cried out, rushing toward the little girl, placing your hands on her shoulders and having to refrain yourself from shaking her in panic. “Madi! What happened? Baby, what’s going on?”

She tried to gurgle out a response, words failing to emerge from her mouth as her airway continued to close. Eyes dancing around the small kitchen wildly, everything clicked into place as you noticed the small container of cinnamon still sitting atop the counter, looking so innocent despite the fact that it was the reason why this little girl was suddenly unable to breathe.

“Oh my gosh, your allergies!” You exclaimed, the weight of the situation clicking in your mind as you began to panic even more. How could you be so careless?

“Your EpiPen!” You remembered. “Hold on baby, don’t move, I’ll be right back!”

Sprinting into the bathroom down the hall, you ripped the drawer out of its hinges in your haste to find the small pen that would reverse the effects of the cinnamon coursing through Madi’s body. Throwing random supplies out of the way, your fingers finally wrapped around the small EpiPen, grabbing hold of the object before rushing back into the kitchen, where you found Madi in the same position you had left her in.

“Hold on, sweetheart, it’s going to be okay, I got you,” you tried to soothe, swallowing down your own panic as you uncapped the pen and slammed it down into her thigh, allowing the medicine to inject into her system and reverse the action of the allergen.

Immediately, the medication seemed to take effect, as Madi’s breathing began to even out and her airways opened, allowing air to fill her lungs again. Tears rushing down her face, she reached forward and wrapped her little arms around you tightly.

“You’re okay, you’re okay, I got you,” you repeated over and over again, tears running down your own cheeks in relief as you held onto the little girl in your arms for dear life.

“I’ve got you, I’m so sorry, Madi, I’ve got you.”

“I know,” her tired voice finally responded, face burrowing into your neck.

You squeezed her tightly one more time before pulling away. “C’mon, sweetheart, we’ve gotta get you to the hospital. Get you checked out. Just make sure everything’s okay.”

She nodded, wrapping her arms around you and allowing you to pick her up and carry her outside and towards the car.

***

Once you got to the hospital, got checked in, and the nurses and doctors took Madi back to get her checked out, you dialed Shawn’s familiar number, steeling yourself for the hard conversation that was about to come.

“Hi beautiful!” Shawn’s cheerful voice answered after only two rings. “I’m finishing up in the studio right now and then I’ll be heading home. How are my two favorite girls doing?”

“Shawn,” you sniffled. “Shawn, I —“

“Woah, baby, what happened?” He questioned, the laughter immediately leaving his voice as he picked up on the seriousness of your tone. “What’s wrong?”

“It - it - it’s Madi,” you finally managed to choke out, another sob leaving your throat as you heard Shawn take a sharp inhale. “She’s okay now,” you stated hurriedly, not wanting him to think the worst. “But, she accidentally ate some cinnamon.”

Shawn cursed, his free hand fisting into his hair in fear and stress as he grabbed his keys and ran out of the studio without another word.

“I got her EpiPen from the bathroom,” you carried on, sobs slowing down into sniffles as you continued to relate the events of the afternoon. “It kicked in pretty quickly and she started breathing easier, but I still wanted to bring her to the hospital to get checked out. They just took her back to get looked at.”

“What hospital are you at?” Shawn demanded.

You gave him the name and instructions on where to find you within the crowded ER.

“I’m on my way,” he grunted, the sound of his jeep starting up over the other line before the line went dead.

***

About ten minutes later, you heard frantic footsteps approaching you. Looking up, you were met with Shawn’s panicked face. “Where is she?” He cried.

Standing up, you placed your hands over his in order to calm his frenzied movements. “Shawn,” you stated, his eyes coming down to meet your own. “She’s going to be okay. The doctors and nurses took her back to get her checked out and give her a breathing treatment if necessary, but she was doing okay. She’s going to be just fine,” you urged, hoping your words would sink in and calm his anxious nerves.

Shawn slowly let out a breath, closing his eyes and nodding to himself as he allowed your words to permeate the panic that had been clouding his every thought since he had first received the news.

“She’s going to be just fine,” you reiterated, thumb stroking his palm soothingly.

After a couple more deep breaths, Shawn finally looked up and once again met your gaze, this time with a hardness in his expression that you had never once seen directed at you. “What happened?” He asked, pulling his hands out of your grasp and crossing his arms over his chest.

You gulped, the nerves returning to you as you could see the direction this conversation was going.

“I – I don’t know,” you murmured brokenly, tears leaking from the corners of your eyes. “ I really don’t know, Shawn.” You shook your head as if trying to clear all the jumbled thoughts in order to seek out an answer you know you didn’t have. “I’ve been so tired and stressed with work, I wasn’t thinking. I must have added cinnamon to the pie I was making without even realizing it. I’m usually so, so careful though. I just – I - Shawn – I’m. . .”

Your words broke off, unable to form a coherent sentence as the events from earlier came crashing back to the forefront of your mind as well as the very real possibility of what could have happened if there hadn’t been an EpiPen available.

Shawn closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, before looking back down at you with that same hardened gaze. “How could you have let this happen, Y/N? How could you be so careless? And with my daughter’s life of all things!”

“I – Shawn!” You cried, tears flowing more freely down your face as you received the full brunt of his anger and blame. “You have to know I never meant to cause any harm! I would never, ever knowingly risk Madi’s health or safety, she’s like a daughter to me!”

“But she’s not,” Shawn growled.

You recoiled as if you had been slapped. “What?” You whispered brokenly.

“She’s not your daughter. She’s mine. And you just proved to me that you’re not worthy of being in her life. You were way too careless and it could have cost Madi her life.”

You stared at Shawn in disbelief, unable to even comprehend the words leaving his mouth right now. You opened and closed your mouth, struggling to respond, heart breaking at the accusation laced in Shawn’s tone and the words that were ripping you apart.

“Shawn, I –“

“Don’t,” he interrupted, holding up a hand. “Just go, please. I don’t want you here right now and I’m sure Madi doesn’t want you here right now either. You’ve done quite enough.”

“But, Shawn, you – I –“

“Leave!” He demanded, eyes flashing, fists clenching in anger.

Jumping back, sobs escaping your throat and tears coating your face, you began murmuring “’I’m sorry, I’m so sorry” over and over again as you turned on your heel and ran out of the emergency room, trying to escape the curious eyes that followed you and the words that cut into your soul like a knife.

What did you think? Part 2??

Update: Read Part 2 here

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