Booze, Americans , and Books of Mormons; first full day, day 2, May 10th

i woke up and took a MUCH needed shower after looking at flights to greece and enjoying the hostel breakfast; theres enough stuff i can eat; and getting last minute rush tickets to the book of mormon. i had around 2 hours to spare so i bought a pub crawl ticket on my way out the hostel and headed downtown. I magically had to walk past Buckingham palace to get to the theatre, and obviously stopped and asked a stranger to take a photo of me. I also got one in front of the canada gate. there were tons of people dressed up in easter dresses and suits but for the life of me i couldn’t figure out why.

as i was walking down the most objectively touristy street i kept getting behind people who lacked spatial awareness and realized i may not enjoy the touristy things as much as i thought due to it, even though i am one. The play was incredible, especially since i got most of the mormon specific jokes (shoutout to the Fisks fr) and there was only 3 times i cringed and watched through my eyes (shoutout to Flyfishing). After the play i had a goal; recreate the photo ive had as my instagram profile picture since i was in london last time, at 14. After finding the EXACT TREE that has grown a tad in the past 6 years i asked a group sitting having a picnic if they could take the photo. the lady who took it did it perfectly and made sure she got the exact angle, even taking one in portrait mode that may become my professional pfp for like… everything. I thanked them and went to another part of the park to sit down for a moment as i was getting tired before getting up and heading towards the pub crawl starting point. i casually passed trafalgar square on the way, so obviously had to stop to recreate another photo, how could i not.

I got to the pub crawl and for a few seconds thought there were only 4 of us; a guy who hit on me as an introduction, someone who was very sweet but very awkward around new people (which is why he does the pub crawls. he looked out for me the rest of the night), and a guy from Uruguay who spoke english enough we could communicate outside, but not really in the bar. turns out everyone else was just outside. i ended up talking to this mom from America who came with her best friend and rest of their kids to visit their sons who just finished an exchange program here. I took their photo outside one of the pubs and she decided i was now one of her kids and introduced me to her daughter who also decided i was now one of them. I spent the rest of the night hanging out with their group. I tried my best to differentiate who everyone one and my best memory is

- Amber, brown haired kids sister, the girl i was first introduced to

- Brown haired kid, whos name might be fletcher

- Maddy, the family friends daughter who was also on exchange

- Liam, the family friends son ( i think )

- Maddy’s new boyfriend ( Liams roomate )

- The fun guy whos name i cant remember for the actual life of me who actually mightve been the roomate now that i think about it… he ordered the most excessively complex drink at the bar on accident and the blokes (word used intentionally) tipped her “for him” then started chanting tip, but the poor guy only had American cash so gave her a $5 bill. The drink took hilariously long and me and him were dying every time she grabbed a new ingredient. I got a rum and coke

regardless, i spent the rest of the night with them, which was amazing feeling safe enough to have a drink or two. it was very crowded and the guys were so used to keeping everyone else safe that i didnt even notice them shooting an arm out to keep someone away when needed or grabbing me before i fell if shoved over. they were all very nice. we stayed as a big group for maybe 4 minutes before we couldnt find liam or the guy whos name ive decided is fletcher. Maddy and i after looking around saw them with girls attached to their hips basically, and one of them came up to me and said “isnt he cute? thats my boyfriend!” i then proceeded to immediately turn and tell maddy this who looked as confused as i did, given that we know they met about 2 minutes ago. not even 5 minutes later maddy and i saw liam make out with her and instantly hit amber to point it out, and in turning to do so saw her brother in the same situation and spent a while trying to look in any direction but left or right. I thoroughly enjoyed watching all of that from the outside perspective. We attempted a photo booth that did NOT like any of our 7 cards we tried, but the 2nd one we found took them. At the end of the night the boys tried to physically detached themselves from their new “girlfriends”, and the dude from wayyy earlier that slightly spooked me came up and grabbed my hand to spin me. without missing a beat after i tapped his leg the single roomate grabbed my other hand and spun me away from him all while sitting. After Amber, not without struggle, got her brother back we headed out. They dropped me at the tube station, which Liam and Ambers brother insisted on walking me to the ticket gate just in case, i gave amber a hug goodbye, and headed home.

it was so amazing meeting them. Maddy sent me advice and basically a whole itinerary for vienna, the boys had just done greece and gave me advice for that, and ambers mom gave me an incredible gluten free cookie recipe

idk who said americans werent friendly when travelling, these guys from maine basically adopted me without question

after making it home i fell right asleep, only to wake up 5 hours later

butterfly kisses from her girlfriend and fun movie nights with some gay demons, what more does a girl want?

Kylo: So i'm sitting there barbecue sauce on my titties

Writing Snippet #14

[Sequences of flashing lights may not be suitable for photosensitive viewers]

Civilian woke with a start, the hairs on her arms standing on end.

Something was wrong.

The curtains were closed. That was the first thing she noticed.

Civilian never closed the curtains. Waking up in the morning required the full force of the sun.

She fought to keep her breathing even as she regarded the room through slitted eyes.

“There’s no point pretending you’re still asleep.” The voice was rich, smooth, and utterly terrifying.

Her heart pounded. What kind of robber announced their presence?

Civilian opened her eyes fully, diving for the nightstand. She yanked open the top drawer.

It was empty.

She whirled around as a malicious chuckle sent shivers down her spine.

A shadow detached itself from the corner near the door, slowly spinning a glinting silver barrel on two fingers.

“Did you really think I wouldn’t check the room for weapons?”

How long had he been in her room...

The spinning stopped, and she heard the distinct clink clink of bullets hitting the wood floor as the light above the bed began to flicker.

The figure stepped forward, tossing her gun and the now empty clip on the bed between them. She caught a glimpse of his face as the light continued to flicker on and off.

For a moment her fear receded.

“Hero.”

No need to be afraid of the city’s golden boy.

Then logic kicked in. It was 2 a.m. according to the alarm clock on her nightstand. What was he doing here?

“Hero?”

He smiled, white teeth glinting in the flashing light. ��So you know who I am. Good. That will make this much easier.”

Make what easier??

He took a step towards her, and Civilian retreated until her back hit the window.

“What do you want?”

“You run a shooting range with your father on 34th Street.”

The lights flickered out and when they came back on, he was standing even closer, eyes gleaming with an unnatural glow.

She flinched back. “All- all our permits are in order.”

“Yes.” The word was slow, disapproving.

He reached underneath his cape, and Civilian stopped breathing. She pressed back further, the cold of the glass seeping through the thin curtains.

Hero pulled his hand free, and she flinched, expecting a weapon of some sort, but in his hand was a stack of photos?

He extended the photos towards her. When she made no move to retrieve them, he waved them impatiently. Reluctantly, she inched forward, but when she snatched the photos from his hand, a shock ran up her arm and she jumped back, the photos spilling across the floor.

Her arm throbbed, like when she’d hit her elbow against the counter yesterday, only ten times worse.

She glared accusingly at Hero as she rubbed at her arm. He smirked, then pointed to the photos on the ground.

She glanced down, squinting in the still-flickering light. It was starting to give her a headache. Flick. A picture of her behind the counter at the shooting range talking to a customer. Flick. A picture of her in the aisle, debating brands ...with the same customer. Flick. A picture of just the customer, pulling into the parking lot. Flick. The customer standing in a lane, aiming for a target.

Why that customer? He was a regular, came at least once a week. Was always polite. Friendly. She always enjoyed their brief interactions, enjoyed making him smile wide enough that his dimples showed…

She looked closer at the photos. The angles of the photos were eerily familiar, and Civilian sucked in a breath as she realized why.

“You hacked our security cameras.”

Hero raised an eyebrow as he gestured to the lights, which promptly went haywire, flashing so quickly she covered her eyes against the onslaught.

“Stop! I get it! It’s not that hard!” It should have been. She paid through the nose for their high-end security system.

The lights went out completely, and Civilian couldn’t see.

“You want me to stop?”

Hero’s voice came from much too close, and she scrambled backwards, slamming into the window.

“With the flickering lights?” she gasped. “Yes.”

The air crackled with electricity, and her breathing hitched. This was much worse than flickering lights, and Hero knew it.

Her eyes were still filled with flashing orbs of light, and her breathing intensified as she whipped her head from side to side, blind and vulnerable.

Muffled crunching marked Hero’s movements as he stepped across the photos on the ground.

She squeezed her eyes shut as the crunching stopped, meaning he was across the photos, meaning...

“Boo!”

She reared back, head slamming into the glass. He laughed, his hands settling on the glass either side of her, caging her in. Currents flowed around her, prickling her skin but not quite strong enough to hurt.

“What do you want?” The words were barely audible.

Her vision was finally clearing, which was worse because now she could see Hero’s face, his twisted sneer both illuminated and shadowed by the unnatural glow surrounding him.

Hero leaned in. “What do I want?” He smiled, with much too many teeth. “I want you to seduce Supervillain.”

Civilian blinked. What did Supervillain have to do with literally anything?

“I—sorry—what?”

“You. Are going to seduce. Supervillain.” His voice was sharp as a knife’s edge, but she still didn’t understand...

“Uh… um but I don’t even know hi—“

Hero slammed his hands against the window, the curtains only slightly muffling the sound.

“THAT’S HIM!”

He gestured angrily to the pictures on the floor.

Oh.

Oh.

Civilian looked down at the scattered images. Tried to reconcile the messy black hair and timid smile with the vicious Supervillain who turned shadows into living nightmares.

“Yes.” Hero snarled, glowing even more fiercely now. “That’s Supervillain. Every week he drives out of his way to come to your establishment. Why would he bother with guns when his shadows can kill more effectively than any bullet?”

His face was mere inches from hers now, and eyed her knowingly. “He likes you.”

He did?

“And you are going to get close to him, discover his weaknesses, find out exactly how to defeat him.”

No.

That was what she wanted to say.

Whether it was a shy but charming civilian or a deadly supervillain, she wasn’t going to seduce anybody for Hero. As if she even knew how.

But Hero was glaring out of her, and if he could shoot lightning bolts out of his eyes, it would probably look about the same as his expression right now.

And she had no desire to be electrocuted again tonight.

“I—me—am going to fake-date that man—” she pointed to the photos, “—who is really Supervillain?”

“Yes.”

She opened her mouth to respond, but his hands came down on her arms before he leaned in to whisper in her ear. “And in case you are thinking of saying no…”

Volts of power rushed through his hands into her, and she crumpled to the ground, gasping in pain. He grinned down at her. “... refusal would be unwise.”

She couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. But he apparently took her silence for agreement and turned, kicking the photos out of his way.

He paused at the door.

“Remember, Civilian, it’s for the greater good.”

——————————————————

Shoutout to my youngest sister for insisting the supervillain have shadow powers (has she been watching too much S&B? Probably? CAN you watch too much S&B? Definitely not.)

Shoutout to my brother-in-law for vetoing literally every superpower I could think of bc they were “not creepy enough.”

Shoutout to @im-a-wonderling for the beta read/hero creepy-electric-superpower suggestion.

🥰🥰🥰 you guys are the best!

Can I request number 80 and 81 with Mathew Barzal?

Happy blurb weekend!

Shoutout, yet again because I am the worst, to @slapshot-to-the-heart for coming up with this idea

Tagging: @besthockeyfics @glassdanse @calgarycanuck @nhlboyshavemyhart88 @stlbluesbrat21 @dembenchboys @heybarzy @gotpucks @annedub @zigzagsandzebras @stars-canucks @beauvibaby

80. “What was your childhood like?”

81. “You looked so cute when you were little.”

Word Count: 840

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Meeting your boyfriend’s parents was terrifying. Meeting your boyfriend’s parents by flying to the other side of the continent was something that you were dreading, not knowing the area well enough to even know where you could run to in the event that they hated you.

“Ok, you need to give me the rundown. What do I need to know?” you turn to Mat while you were waiting to get off the plane. Granted, this was a conversation you could have had during the 10 hours it took you to get from New York to Vancouver, but here you were having it now instead.

“What do you want to know, I feel like you already know everything,” Mat shrugs, handing you your carry on.

“What was your childhood like? Anything.”

“Uh, close with my parents, close with my sister, pretty normal, I guess.”

You sigh, wishing Mat could give you a little more. “People with normal childhoods don’t go on to be professional hockey players, bubs.”

He didn’t hear you, both of you going out to meet his parents and sister who were apparently already at the airport waiting for you. They immediately jumped into conversation with you, you trying your best to keep up as they asked you question after question, Mat also piping in with his own answers about what he knew about you.

By the time you got back to his house, you were exhausted. Somehow, the simple act of his parents and sister playing a round of 20 questions about your life tired you out more than it should have, wanting nothing more than to go to sleep.

The next morning, you were awake before Mathew, heading down to the kitchen at the smell of pancakes and coffee being made by his mom.

“How’d you sleep last night?” she asks you, sliding a cup of coffee over to you.

“Fine. I’ve never heard Mat snore like that before,” you tell her, taking a sip of the coffee.

“You two haven’t spent a night together before?” she asks.

You were thankful her back was turned to you, the heat rushing to your cheeks and an obviously panicked expression because of what she was insinuating on your face. “Um, we have,” you sheepishly admit, “He’s just never snored like that before.”

“Oh he used to snore all the time when he slept in that bed of his. Every night when he was little we could tell if he was still awake or if he was watching some sort of hockey video based on the chainsaw he sounded like,” his mom tells you, laughing along with you.

“What was he like when he was little?” you ask, figuring she would tell you more than he would.

“A terror,” she says, point blank. “Come watch this, I have something I think you’ll like.” She leaves the kitchen for a few minutes, you left alone making the pancakes for everyone else before they wake up. “This is what Mathew was like.”

She turns off the stove, putting down a photo album in front of you. It looked like it was from before Liana was born, just Mat in the photos. There were pictures of him in skates, wearing a helmet that was too big for him and a stick that was taller than him in his hands. One picture was him sitting in a high chair, what looked to be pasta sauce all over his face with a bowl held over his hand, the other, dirty little hand reaching towards whoever had a camera. Another photo was him sitting on the ground, his face red and scrunched as he was throwing a temper tantrum, what was either a puck or a rock in his hands, but you couldn’t tell.

His mom laughed as she looked over your shoulder at that one. “He was mad we told him that he couldn’t eat it.”

“What’s going on?” Mat asks, standing in the doorway of the kitchen, clearly having just woken up by the way he was rubbing his eyes.

“Your mom was showing me some old baby pictures,” you tell him as he groans at the prospect of you seeing whatever else was in that album. “You were so cute when you were little.”

“Oh yeah?” he asks, his hands snaking their way around your waist. Mat rested his head on your shoulder, slowly rocking back and forth as he kissed your cheek. “What about now?”

“You’re pretty cute now, too,” you tell him, holding his face with one hand and giving him a kiss.

“Should I leave you two alone?” his mom asks you, interrupting the moment you probably shouldn’t have been happening with her smiling at you like that.

“No, I need to see what else is in this album,” you say.

“There’s a few of him taking a bath,” she tells you, sliding it closer to her to find the pictures.

“Ok, no. That’s enough,” Mat protests, taking you back upstairs, you and his mother laughing despite his clear annoyance.

Let’s try. // J.HS imagine (J-Hope) angst/fluff

Summary: You were put into an arranged marriage with Jung Hoseok yet he has no feelings for you and neither do you. How will you deal with each other when you both know well that you cannot divorce or develop feelings for each other.

Word count: 4100

Genre: angst/fluff

warnings: swearing / mentioning of Namjoon and his wife / no idol J-Hope / businessman J-Hope

Pairing: J-Hope!businessman x Female!reader

A/N: Hello!!!! this was requested and first off all I want to say: thank you so much I’m really happy and shoutout to the creative person who requested this. I hope you’ll like and enjoy it <3 keep in mind that English is not my first language so if you spot any mistakes I would love you guys to tell me. If you like it please leave a like and if you have any preferences or wishes please let me knoooow! Have fun everyone and keep in mind REQUESTS ARE OPEN!! hihi bye.

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"You look beautiful! Wow I'm fascinated!" wow thank you. Does that mean I looked like shit every day? Why does everyone keep telling me that? If today wasn't my wedding no one would tell me I looked good everyday... well maybe because I don't either.

Today is my wedding to the one and only Jung Hoseok. The Jung family made a very big name for themselves in South Korea, years ago. Jung Hoseok's father is the founder and CEO of a famous restaurant chain. His mother is a famous doctor of surgical aesthetics and his older sister Jung Jiwoo is a famous youtuber and fashion designer in South Korea. So you could say that the Jung family is more famous than the president of South Korea and freaking rich. And I have the "privilege" of marrying him today. NOT! Neither he nor I agreed to this wedding, but what do children have to say when their parents have already decided behind our backs.

Jung Hoseok's father is my father's boss. You wonder why your father's boss wants an employee's daughter for his son? It's very simple, I'll explain it to you: My father lost his job back then because he was ill and had to get surgery on his leg, since then he really has trouble walking. And in South Korea almost no employer feels sorry for you. When you are healthy and you can work, you go to work. If you are ill and unable to work, it's your fault and you get fired and lose everything you have. And so my father lost his job back then and desperately looked for a job in a metropolis with millions of inhabitants that was fair to him and not physically demanding. Where did he end up? With Mr. Jung, who surprisingly had understanding and compassion for my father and took him on in one of his companies in Seoul.

Flashback

"Appa where are you?" I asked as my father when he answered his phone. "I am on the 12th floor my child! Did you come?" - "Yes Appa, I promised you that we would have lunch together today!" I said as I stood in front of the giant building of the Jung's company. "Yes, okay, that's right my child! Wait for your father, I'll be right there and we can go to the restaurant next door!" so I waited downstairs in front of the entrance. I don't want to wait inside, there are so many men at the entrance.... They're pretty serious about security here. "Y/N!!" I heard someone shout from behind. I turned around and saw my father coming towards me... or rather sneaking. Unfortunately he still can't walk since he had the surgery on his leg.

I went to him and offered him my arm so that he could support himself. I am really happy that he was accepted here. He doesn't earn much but enough to support my mother and me. We've always had money problems, ever since I was little. I was always one of the last to get the new shoes that were already in fashion last year. Or I was one of the people who got an iPhone 5 when the iPhone X was already on the market. That's why I tried to go to work at a young age to help my parents financially. My mother has been cleaning restaurants or schools or sometimes houses of rich families for years. But still I am glad that my father wanted to work after his surgery and found a simple office job.

"Appa, are you very hungry?" I ask him as we slowly walk down the stairs in front of the big building. "Yes my child I really-" - "Hello Mr. Y/L/N!" we heard someone shout interrupting my father. My father and I both looked up and standing in front of us was an older man, wearing a suit and carrying a briefcase. He looked very smart and around him were 3 men also wearing suits. "Oh, oh hello Mr. Jung!" my father exclaimed and bowed. I quickly bowed in response as well. That's Mr. Jung! The man who gave my father his job. The rich famous Mr. Jung CEO of his restaurant chain.

"Who is your pretty companion?" he asks and comes towards us. My father grins "My daughter Mr. Jung! Isn't she pretty?" oh no dad what are you saying. I notice my cheeks turning red and warm. Mr. Jung looks at me and smiles. "Yes your daughter is very pretty." wow I feel flattered. "I didn't know you had a daughter Mr. Y/L/N" he added. "Yes Mr. Jung I have a daughter and she is my pride and joy. I am honestly happy to have her in my life" my father said and I blurted I am as red as a tomato. "I would be too if I were you. She must even be my son's age! What a coincidence" says Mr. Jung and then we say goodbye to him and my father and I go to eat in the restaurant. Wow did that really just happen?

Few days later - still flashback

I can't wait to get home. Work is so exhausting, I'm so tired and exhausted I'm looking forward to my shower and my bed. Just as I walked in the front door I saw my parents sitting in the living room with a worried look on their faces like something had happened, like they were waiting for me.

"Hello Eomma and Appa." I say, about to go to my room. "Y/N wait!" I hear my mother call and I go back. She points to the couch to indicate that I should sit down. "What's wrong?" I say, looking at my parents. My father is looking at the floor all the time he doesn't dare look up don't  I don't know him that way. My mother looks at my father and waits. "Hello?" i ask. "Your father has something to tell you but please don't freak out." I am worried. What is going on? "Appa what's wrong you are scaring me is anything wrong? Are you not well?" finally he looks up. "Y/N, you know I love you." - "Yes I love you too" - "And you forgive me everything? Even if I trade selfishly?" - "Yes Appa I forgive you but please tell me what you did."

He finally looks at me and sits up straight. "The other day when we had lunch in my lunch break when we met Mr. Jung.... That same evening he came to me and asked me for something" he says with tears in his eyes. "What did he ask you, Appa?" I ask curiously.

"He asked me if you would like to marry his son."

He did what? 

Is he fucking serious? Who does he think he is? Just because he is rich and famous and who knows what he can take the right to go to other men to ask if the daughter can marry his son?

"Please tell me you said no Appa please tell me you said no" I scream and fall to the floor on my knees. The only thing he says is "I'm sorry" I can't take it anymore I start crying. Why is he doing this? Why does he agree? Why does he agree to such a thing! Why doesn't he ask me why doesn't he talk to me about it first instead of deciding for me! I am not an object or a toy that you can just give away. I am a human being, I decide for my own life and I tell him that.

"Please understand me, my daughter. I love you more than anything and you know that I only want the best for you. He wants to retire soon because he is also not the youngest anymore and he wants his son to follow in his footsteps but he needs a wife he wants that when it is made official that his son is CEO the media will report that he is married and when he saw you you immediately caught his eye!"

"Still no one gives you the right to say YES Appa! I don't want to marry his son! I don't know his son and I think his son has better things to do than marry a girl he doesn't even know!" I shout and stand up I can't believe what he is saying.

"Y/N don't you understand? They will be able to give you a better life. They will be able to give you everything I couldn't give you. You'll never have to go back to work you'll never have to get up early every morning to torture yourself you can quit your two jobs! You will be able to live a normal life of wealth and happiness! Please think of your mother and me too. I can't go to work anymore I have pain I can't walk properly and this office work is also stressing me out now I sit all the time I have back pain! Your mother has 3 jobs to take care of. We can't do it anymore and with the financial help of this family we will all be better Y/N please. Do it for us do it for you" he shouted.

I hope he knows that you don't need wealth to live a happy life. I say nothing more and rush into my room, throw myself on the bed and let my tears run. I can't believe it why do these things always happen to me? Just when I think my life can't get any shittier, it gets worse.

Back to present

"Thank you." I say to my work colleague whom I invited to my wedding. I haven't invited many people simply because I don't know anyone. Or let's put it this way, I just don't have any friends. I was never the most popular one at school. My work colleague and I took a photo, she thanked me, bowed to me and walked out of the beautifully decorated photo room. Just as I was about to get up there is a knock on the door and I see Mr. Jung and his wife and daughter come in.

"Wow Y/N! You look fantastic!" he says and hugs me. His wife and daughter agree and I smile at them. I'm not in the mood to talk to you rich brats. You're ruining my life.

"Hoseok is in his dressing room with his friends. He's pretty annoyed and irritable so don't be surprised if he gets a bit of a scowl at the altar," his sister says, grabbing my shoulder. Yes, because he doesn't want to either, don't you see?

I met Hoseok once when his parents invited me and our parents to their rich villa for dinner. Before that, of course, Mr. Jung transferred a lot of money to my father, a sum I have never seen in my life, and of course my father was allowed to quit his job. How can I put it? If you think Hoseok and I exchanged even a single word then I have to disappoint you. He didn't even look at me. He didn't speak a word, didn't laugh or smile once and didn't eat a thing. I have never felt so uncomfortable or ashamed in my life. That evening, our parents were just talking about what to do after the wedding. They have decided that my parents will move to a bigger house with employees so my parents will never have to move or work again. Mr. Jung will retire and tell the press that his son will be the new CEO and Hoseok and I will move into a villa in Seoul after the wedding.

Of course, he asked us if we would like to go on a honeymoon right after the wedding to get to know each other better, but neither of us agreed. He didn't make a sound anyway, so I had to have the stupid conversation with his father.

The only person I got along with well was his sister. She could completely understand how me and her brother felt. She told me after dinner that she is also married and her husband was also forced to marry her by her father. Her husband was of course also the son of a friend of his. He was of the opinion that she, as a famous fashion designer, needed a man by her side and she said to me that I shouldn't hold it against him because he still thinks in such an old-fashioned way. Meanwhile she and her husband are happily married, I am happy for her that she could at least learn to love him.

When it was finally time to walk down the aisle with my father, I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I didn't care about my make-up, I just wanted to go back to my old life because I know I'll never have that again. My father and I walked down the long aisle with eyes fixed on me. I could hear everyone amazed and saying how pretty I was and how lucky I was to be able to marry him. No, neither of us can consider ourselves lucky because we both don't want that. The aisle seemed so long and it just wouldn't stop. Arriving at the altar, my father presented my hand to my future husband and they bowed to each other. He didn't look me in the eye once, his eyes were empty and directed to the floor.

The ceremony went okay I could hear a few tears flowing from our mothers. To be honest, I had imagined my wedding quite differently. I could have married on a farm, but at least the love of my life would be with me.

The wedding went well, how can I say it was okay. We both sat next to each other while the guests danced and had fun and drank alcohol. We, or rather he, talked to many of the businessmen his father had invited to the wedding. It felt more like I was wearing a wedding dress to a business meeting. We didn't exchange a word, not even glances, he treated me like I was air. Too bad we'll be living together Mr. Jung Hoseok.

1 month after the wedding

"Y/L/N Good morning. Would you like coffee or tea? Pancakes or rice? Or do you have any other requests please let me know so I can pass it on to the cook!" the housekeeper Soyoung asks me as I'm walking down the stairs - I've only just woken up. I'm still overwhelmed with this new lifestyle never had someone running after me just after I get up but she was very nice and sweet.

"A coffee please Soyoung. I don't want anything to eat thanks I can't eat well in the morning, I usually eat when I'm hungry!" she looks at me surprised. "That's why you sometimes leave your food.... well then please let me know right away if you get hungry Y/L/N I will tell the cook right away!" she says smiling and walks to the kitchen.

I look out the big window facing the exit and I can see that Hoseok's car is not here. It's never here. He always gets up early every morning and comes home very late since he is the new CEO. We don't see each other at all or never.

In the evening when I was sitting alone at the dining table I hear a car parked in the driveway. I look out of the window and see that Hoseok has just come home - quite early by his standards, it's only 8pm. I quickly sit back down and pretend I was never at the window. He walks in the front door and all the staff bow to him. He looks at me and then quickly goes up to his office. Hello to you too Hoseok.

1 month later

This month is my mum's birthday and I have to be honest that I haven't seen her since my wedding. I don't have the best relationship with my parents anymore because I still can't forgive what they did to me and that they gave me away to another family for their happiness. But of course they don't know that I am so resentful because please, they are still parents. Parents usually don't see that when the children are angry or not happy.

I stand in my wardrobe and look at the clothes Soyoung put out for me. A beautiful Chanel skirt with a matching blazer, nice shoes with a little heel and a bag that looks more expensive than some cars. I change and Soyoung calls a woman in to do my hair. I'm not used to all this, I've never had my hair done before, I'm just going to visit my parents.

"Y/L/N, when you're done, you can go down to the car. Mr. Hoseok is waiting for you downstairs," she says and smiles at me. Mr. who? "What, why is he waiting downstairs?" I ask her in surprise. "He will accompany you, of course! Wouldn't it be bad if he didn't congratulate his mother-in-law! So I'd be mad at my husband if he didn't come!" she says, smiling at me.

Oh Soyoung you are so sweet and naive. I walk out the front door and get into the car with Hoseok waiting for me. I have to say he looks really good today, he's dressed up more than usual. And the fact that he took the day off to come with me to my mother's, even though he must have a lot to do, makes me very happy too. But what am I saying? He's the CEO, he can take the day off whenever he wants.

The car ride is very quiet and the only thing you can hear is the voice of the radio presenter saying what the weather is today and in the next few days. I'm honest I'm quiet for a really long time I'm always quiet when someone isn't talking to me and feels uncomfortable next to me then I feel exactly the same. I could win first place in a quiet competition and I would even be proud of it but this silence between me and Hoseok is eating me up inside so I muster up all my courage and say to him "Thank you for coming with me today. I know it's not a matter of course" I say and look at him. I can tell by the look on his face that he is surprised that I am talking to him. He hesitates a little before he says, "No problem," curtly.

Arriving at my parents' new house, we stand in front of the door and wait for someone to open it. "Y/N and oh! Hoseok! You came!" my mother says in surprise when she sees Hoseok standing behind of me. Hoseok bows to her and wishes her a happy birthday. "Come on in quickly," she says and takes us to the living room.

"I'm so glad you came, what a surprise to see you here Hoseok!" my father says as he walks into the living room. Hoseok smiles at him and says "I'd love to. I mean, my mother-in-law doesn't have a birthday every day." I am surprised! Did he honestly just say that? He's never shown any interest in my parents before, let alone me. So why does he suddenly care about my mother's birthday? We were served coffee and cake by my parents' housekeepers while there was an uncomfortable silence.

The young housekeeper serves me my coffee and a piece of cake and goes over to Hoseok. I notice how he doesn't look at her but she tries to get all his attention. She keeps asking him how he wants his coffee and how big his piece should be. Hello, why didn't she ask me that? I mean, is she really trying to get his attention next to his wife?

My father interrupts the awkward silence by asking "How are you two doing? I know this might not be the perfect time to talk about it, but are you getting along better? Have you been able to get to know each other better?" I notice how tense Hoseok becomes and wants to avoid answering but just as I am about to answer I hear him say, "Yes, we understand each other better. We have a relatively normal marriage now. Don't worry about it Y/D/N" and smiles at him. I don't think I'm hearing right? Is he serious? For two months he hasn't exchanged a single word with me and now he wants to tell my parents that we are happily, well almost happily, married?

Back in the car we don't exchange a word with each other. Happy marriage, my ass. Don't make me laugh. At home, Soyoung serves us our dinner and we sit alone in the living room, eating in quiet silence. But suddenly, "Would you like to go with me to - to my friend's house tonight? He and his wife invited us, I said it might not work out but it's still early so do you want to?" I don't think I'm hearing right. To his friend's? He's introducing me to his friend? AND his wife? I stammer "Y-y-yes so if that's ok with you" and he nods.

After dinner we drive to his friend's house. We are standing in front of the door of a penthouse his friend must have quite a lot of money too. "Hello Hoseok!" his friend says as he opens the door for us. "Hello Namjoon," says Hoseok and we both go inside. Once in the living room, his friend calls his wife Naeun and they both introduce themselves. "Hello I am Namjoon and this is my wife Naeun we are very happy to finally meet you. Unfortunately we couldn't talk to each other at your wedding," Namjoon says and smiles at me. "The pleasure is all mine," I say and sit down on the couch. "And how is the newly in love couple? I think it's a shame we couldn't meet you earlier Y/N but Hoseok said you were busy every time" Naeun says and Hoseok doesn't look at me. "Y-yes I was busy I'm sorry. I wish I could have met you guys earlier too," I am overwhelmed I don't know what to say.

"Come on tell me how you two met already! Every time I ask Hoseok he avoids me, maybe I can get it out of you!" Namjoon says.

“I-I uh we-" - "It doesn't matter Namjoon! Our fathers knew each other and that's how we met and fell in love," Hoseok interrupts me.

I think I'm in a bad movie. He tells lies about our marriage just to make himself look good, but I don't understand, he is his friend, why doesn't he tell him the truth? Time went by more and more and we understood each other better and better. I also saw Hoseok laughing so much today, I didn't even know he could laugh properly, otherwise I always got to see his angry and cold looks and he also talked to me a lot more today.

When we got home we were greeted by Soyoung at the door late at night. "Soyoung you can go to sleep it's very late" Hoseok says and Soyoung looks at him in surprise. When Soyoung went to her room and I said goodnight to Hoseok he grabs me by my wrist. "Shall we sleep in my room tonight Y/N?" - "W-what why? Are you sure?" I ask him. 

"Yeah I think we should sleep together tonight.... I mean we are married. Neither me nor you wanted that but it happened now and we should make the best of it." he says and looks at me curiously. I agree with him. He is right. We are married whether we like it or not we are husband and wife. "If you want we can start with little dates.... We can go to the movies and restaurants... We can travel. We can do all that and maybe get to know each other better." he suggests. I smile at him and thus began a somewhat strange but ultimately beautiful marriage.

26. I Hate This Fandom, and I Hate All of You

I absolutely stole this line from an old friend in the Glee fandom, because it’s one that I think about EVERY TIME a fandom gets on my nerves, much the way that even this fandom does and in particular Simon stans. Idk what to tell y’all if y’all feel some type of way... be better people. ANYWHO! Shoutout to my friend for a quote that still means a lot to me 10 years later. Word Count: 4119

Previous

There was a lot of buzz surrounding the mini vacation for Simon’s birthday. Their families were together in Belize. Simon’s photos only reflected Simon either being with Grace and Hazel on the trip, or Grace. For the type to hyperfixate and go through everyone’s pages, they could find entire group photos and stuff on Mr. Laurent’s and Mrs. Monroe’s pages as Mr. Monroe didn’t have social media and Mrs. Laurent’s wasn’t sophisticated (inspirational quotes and recipes and DIYs that she was never going to actually try). Simon’s selected photos always looked like professional stills of the scenery, candids and capturing all the beauty possible, while Grace took hundreds of photos of everything from hijinks and mishaps to food to selfies, and they always just looked like somebody living her best life.

But, someone asked, “Are you in Belize with Grace Monroe?” on Simon’s photo of a pair two pairs of bare feet in the dirt - one an older person, dark brown skin, several scars from previous damages and new callouses, and a younger person’s lighter brown skin and cutesy temporary tattoos on the base of their feet. 

“Grounding, also called earthing, is a therapeutic technique that involves doing activities that “ground” or electrically reconnect you to the earth. This practice relies on earthing science and grounding physics to explain how electrical charges from the earth can have positive effects on your body.” Simon had put as the caption. In the same photo set, you could see an image of his own feet in the dirt, and...

“These are Grace and Hazel Monroe’s feet, right???” When they flipped through the set, there was near the end of several pictures of the landscape and sky, silhouettes of two people in the sunset - remarkably shaped like Grace and Hazel dancing in the dirt.

“OMG OGM GOM MOG MG OOMG…”

“Simon and Grace are BACK ON y’all!”

“Grace is letting Simon post photos of her! You all know that she’s very secretive about Simon these days, and now they’re in Belize and he’s posting photos! We WON everybody!”

“GRACE???”

Grace’s comments were a little bit less like that. A little bit. She had almost forgotten how “Simon’s fans” could get. She had looked up one of those “foods to order when you’re in Belize” articles and gotten everything on the list, took a photo of the table top and captioned, “About to go IN!” And less than a few moments later, had SO MANY, “Are you with Simon/Simon is gonna eat most of that/Save some for Simon/What did Simon order/So jealous that you get to eat all of that! Save room for desert AKA Simon!” That was the point where she decided to go on a comments black out. There could be no more comments on whatever photos that she took for the rest of the trip. Simon left his open, though. It blew his mind that half a year ago, people were telling him that they were disappointed in him for hurting Grace and lying about it, or that they were disappointed in him for trusting Grace again after everything, and now SOME of those very same people were extremely excited just to see them having brunch together that they were already working on wedding date headcanons and pregnancy foreshadowing. This entertained him. Grace wasn’t as much of a fan and contacted Hazel’s social media rep to ensure that any comments or questions about Simon were promptly deleted from any of her pages. Sometimes, they did that too. That was less amusing to Simon. He really believed that kids should be left out of things like that.

Simon knew that he was the reason that they didn’t last, as friends or otherwise and he had come to terms with that, but he still wanted her to be able to forgive him someday, trust him again and let him be a part of her life. This wasn’t her intention with this trip, so he definitely couldn’t take it as a sign. She was enjoying Belize with her daughter and making the most of the fact that her parents had foolishly invited him along, thinking it could be beneficial in some way. That didn’t mean that he wasn’t going to enjoy his limited time with her to the fullest. 

Plus, he and Hazel had made some small steps to acceptance on her tour of their memory lane. Surprisingly to him, Grace was very open with Hazel about her wrongs. She did tell her about how she fought and hunted down Simon’s bullies, how she stabbed one with a fork and kept it just to remind herself of that day. She told her things that Simon never would have wanted to ever let his kids know that he had done. Hazel just hugged her, told her that she understood her pain better now and that she was proud of her for being able to be a good and strong person now. She posted something about her mom being her hero and being so glad that she had somebody like her in her life. It was really cute. 

Simon went to follow her on her social media and someone even noticed THAT. “Simon Laurent is now following Hazel Monroe on like everything!” They posted with screenshots of his name following each account and an eyeballs emoji. He… blocked the person. He didn’t block people very much, but where Hazel was concerned, he didn’t want any of his stuff to bleed over into her space. Grace wouldn’t like that and he didn’t like it, either. 

He and Hazel had spoken about the charm bracelet. She had been chronicling the charms with their stories, and said something like, “I feel like I’m wearing a sacred relic on my wrist.” 

“Speaking of…” Simon had said, and reached into his satchel. “I made you copies of something…” 

He showed her some pages of what could ONLY be two Esmoroth books and she squealed, hugged them to herself and stuck them in her own tote. “Expect my notes on them, soon.” He gave her a salute. Grace watched them interact and she couldn’t remember many moments that he talked to kids - like she had seen him at work with them and even sometimes whenever she caught part of one of his scouts things, but seeing him and Hazel sort of bonding affected her. She was equal parts cautious and soft. Simon seemed genuine though, and that only became more noticeable during the trip.

He was doing stuff like making sure she was walking on the inside when they went down streets, reflexively shielding her in crowds, helping her over, up onto stuff whenever she looked like she might struggle - things that Grace would normally do/try to do but wait it out to see if Hazel could do it herself or ask her if she needed help. Simon jumped into action and it didn’t seem to bother Hazel, so Grace was able to watch her get babied a little bit. It was cute. She snapped several photos, just for herself, though. 

They got back to the villa to see that Mrs. Monroe had arranged another dinner. “This woman, I swear,” Grace mumbled. Simon laughed a little. 

Mrs. Monroe announced, “We had a spa day and I got the Laurents makeovers. The three of you get washed up and dressed. The photographer is already here and I don’t want him to catch you three looking like… This.” she circled her hands at them, then waved them off. 

“What… should I wear?” Simon asked as they walked off.

“I’ve set your outfits out!” Mrs. Monroe called at his back, “All of you!” 

“I really feel like I’m 15 again,” Grace said shaking her head. Simon let out a grunt of agreement. 

Hazel wondered, “This is what 15 feels like???” Not her 15. Grace was NEVER gonna do this type of stuff to her. But, the occasional bossiness of GlamMother Monroe would be fine. ONLY on occasion. 

They reconvened with the family on the patio, overlooking the water as they were relaxed enough to not be as uncomfortable as at the birthday dinner. Hazel and Simon were talking about how far along she had gotten in his book, which she had her copy of at the table and was going over notes so far (she was pleased with where it was going and she enjoyed the angst between the Future King and the Idol Princess, “A lot more than I would have before everything I learned about you and my mom,” Grace heard her say. 

“Do you want more?” Grace heard an unfamiliar voice ask. 

She turned to see Mrs. Laurent staring at her with gray eyes… Simon’s eyes. Ugh… This is where he got those? She forced a smile and shrugged, “Someday.”

The woman leaned closer to her and said, “It gets tougher whenever there’s another. You have a hard time juggling the same amount of love that you have in you between more bodies.”

“I don’t think I’ll have that problem, but I’m going to take everything that the professionals say into consideration whenever I begin to think about expanding the family.”

“Simon was really easy. You just give him a little block set or something to build and he would leave you alone for hours. His sister needed constant attention. She just couldn’t stand not being focused on. I could easily leave Simon alone for half a day whenever he was 6. Hope couldn’t be left for a couple of hours, even having someone there with her…”

“Leave her alone,” they heard Simon growl at his mother in a low voice. The woman frowned and sat back in her seat. “Are you okay, Grace?” Simon looked at Grace’s hands clutching the table. She looked at them too, and released her grip, then saw Hazel, looking at her concerned and looking at Mrs. Laurent suspiciously.

“Yeah. She was just talking about motherhood.”

“About how she was terrible at it?” Simon asked.

“Simon…” Grace started.

But Hazel interjected, “Not everybody has a mom like you, Grace.”

“My mom isn’t perfect…”

“I think she meant a mom who is like you,” Simon said. Hazel nodded. “Some of us got hit a lot and yelled at, called names…”

“Abandoned in a field for days…”Hazel added. “Not to say that GlamMother was better! Just… sometimes it’s harder to trust people again, depending on what they did and well… as a mommy, doing bad stuff to your kid makes it so hard to even be nice.”

Grace nodded and adjusted Hazel’s braids. She had braided her hair whenever they were on the plane, to pass the time on the long flight. “I understand. I’ve been hurt by somebody that I thought really loved me before…” Simon blinked and turned away. Hazel gave him a sympathetic glance. Grace added, “But, I’m really trying not to be angry with them forever, and I think maybe our moms might be able to inherit a little bit of the same kind of forgiveness that we would want from others.”

Hazel scoffed, “She is definitely talking to you, Simon. There’s no way I’m forgiving any time soon.”

Simon said, “Noted,” and stared into his cup. He sat for a while longer and then took his cup and left the table. Hazel lowered her eyes, avoiding looking at Grace. 

Mrs. Laurent offered, “He’s always been really sensitive. I’ll go…”

“No,” Grace said. “You… stay.” She stood up, glanced at Mrs. Laurent, slid Hazel’s chair away from her a little, basically letting Hazel know not to engage with that woman (though Hazel seemed to be the only person that the woman was kind hearted to, probably reminded her of her daughter or something). Grace found Simon pacing and clenching his fists. She turned to leave. This was a private moment, but he glanced up, saw her and stopped moving. She winced and clasped her hands together, “I was coming to check on you.” He relaxed a little and sat down on the nearby stairs. 

She leaned against the rail and explained, “I’m not saying that you have to forgive your mom if you want me to forgive you. That’s not what I meant to convey. I just mean… that I try to think about things from the other person’s shoes a lot more than I used to. I remember right before I snapped, I asked my mom if you really believed all of the things you said about me, or if you were just a really good liar. I still don’t really know for sure what the answer is and I don’t think you do, either. And, whenever we don’t even fully know ourselves, how can we possibly know what others are going through? For all I know, you’re in the most pain that has ever pained anyone. I couldn’t say. What I can say is that I won’t let your pain be an excuse to hurt me, and as long as you aren’t hurting me, I see no reason to punish you.” She sat next to him. “But, maybe you and your mom can’t be like that, and that’s valid. I was just throwing something out in the air. I probably should have thought it through.”

“It’s true though. The stuff I did is just as unforgivable as the stuff she did. How can I expect you to ever trust me again when I’m not willing to do the same with her?”

“I mean… you and me are different people. You and her are different people. Not everything is interchangeable.”

“Any time I’m near Hazel, you look like at any moment, you expect me to throw her into the ocean. It feels really bad, but I get it. So… I know that she MIGHT be hurting too. It’s just… so hard. And to think that this is the way that I make you feel when I’m around, trying to pretend that I’m normal… It’s the most painful part. What can I do though? I made it this way. I did things that can’t be undone. Even in trying to rectify it, that’s just… treating an injury. I’ll never be able to remove the scars.” He had tears falling down his face, which he wiped away before she could have the chance to feel bad. “And you’re the last person that I should be whining to about it, because you’re the victim in this story.”

“A survivor,” she corrected. “Who has chosen to try to understand. Let’s give each other a little more space. We went around town, living in the old days and that maybe threw us a bit out of reality’s orbit. You were fine before we hung out..” He opened his mouth to debate, but she caught herself and corrected, “Well, not fine, but better. And… you need to get increasingly better. Until you’re well.” She got up and he watched her go back out and collect Hazel. They turned in early that night. He went back out to talk to his mom… 

.

The Laurents were awake early and the only ones in the kitchen with Hazel whenever Grace emerged from their quarters. Mr. Laurent had made pancakes and eggs, and Hazel was stuffing her face and reading. Simon was next to her, ready to protect her, if he had to, while his mother was nursing a cup of coffee with a full, cold plate in front of her. “Good morning!” Grace cheered and kissed Hazel on top of the head, then Simon, though she awkwardly cringed after she did. He blushed, but didn’t make a big deal out of it. Yeah, she requested space, but she was also always affectionate and they had been around each other a lot the past few days. 

“Good morning,” Mr. Laurent said. “Plenty of pancakes and eggs!” 

“I’m having breakfast with my parents, but thank you for the offer,” she said in a fake sweet voice. “Hazel, why don’t you go get ready for the day. We’re spending it with your grands.”

“Yes!!! They give the BEST day out presents!” Grace sat down, and Simon noticed that with the off the shoulders blouse she had on, he could see the tan marks on her now even darker brown skin. He… liked tan marks. And… her hair smelled really good. Her lips looked so moist… She squinted her eyes at him and he quickly turned away and grabbed his plate and Hazel’s to clear them from the table. 

“What do you all have planned for the day?” She asked.

“I’m going to take Samantha to the beach,” Simon said. 

“If you can find her. I told you to keep her in her crate,” Mrs. Laurent said.

“I let her out in my quarters, not in the entire villa. She’s somewhere in my space,” he said. They had been bickering. He told her that he was trying to forgive her, because forgiving her might mean being able to forgive himself for the things that he had done. She told him that even if she tried for the rest of her life, she couldn’t forgive him for what he did to Hope… So… They weren’t any closer to whatever it was Grace was at in her growth journey. “I might do something with my hair,” Simon said, shrugging his shoulders as he washed dishes and returning his attention to Grace’s question. “Since I have that patch on the side from getting kicked in the head, I sort of want to do something Viking looking or elvish… Maybe a braid and a side do.”

“That sounds hot,” Grace said. He blushed again. “There might be something in Hazel’s Celtic book! There were some hairstyles in there. She carries the thing around a lot. Every since we found out that she had it in her DNA, she’s sorta been obsessed with Celtic history and the fact that there’s hazel tree lore is her favorite coincidence in the world.” Simon smiled and put the clean dishes away. 

“She’s a great kid. You’re doing great with her.”

“It’s really not that hard. I just love her a lot and always try to give her what’s best for her and trust her to let me know if she doesn’t agree with what’s best for her… which isn’t often, at all. I worry that she sometimes maybe has too much emotional maturity. Like, if I shouldn’t coddle her a little more…” She bit her lip. “Like… how can you even tell when it’s what’s best?”

“She is happy and healthy. I trust that you do what’s best.” He cut his eyes at his mother and dismissed himself just as Hazel returned. They high fived each other when they crossed paths and Grace got up so that they could leave. She’d meet her parents elsewhere later. She couldn’t just stay in there with the Laurents, no matter how nice they were maybe trying to be.

.

She and Simon did well enough keeping their space through the rest of the trip. By Monday morning, when they were all back home, Grace wondered if Hazel needed a day to recover, but she was SO READY to get to school and brag to her friends about how she had been given drafts of the next two books of Esmoroth and how she wouldn’t tell them what happened and they would be SO jealous and think she’s SO cool. “They might even think that I’m lying. That’s why I have photos of me and Simon, with both of the drafts. They’re gonna be extremely, extremely envious.”

Grace laughed, “Why do you want your friends to be envious?”

“Because, that’s how you know it’s the good stuff.” Hazel still had her braids in. They probably wouldn’t last as long as that style would in Grace’s head, but Grace estimated she still had a few weeks before they would have to take them down. Also, Grace noticed that after giving Simon the leaf in her hair whenever they went to get on their planes home… She hadn’t replaced it. She put in one of her leaf clips and almost left the door without Grace! Grace caught up with her and the girl was as lively as ever. Grace didn’t have that same enthusiasm. 

The weekend was exhausting for her. Seeing her parents wore her out. Seeing them, the Laurents, and specifically Simon? She was about to sleep this entire day, until it was time to meet up with Hazel afterschool. Back in her own bed, with her own energy in her space, her own schedule and company (or lack thereof) it was great. 

.

 Simon had went live while he was working on styling his hair, to clear up all of the rumors about he and Grace rekindling their romance, which essentially boiled down to, “Grace and I are not together. We aren’t even friends again. The Monroes were nice enough to treat my family to a vacation for my birthday. I love, admire, adore, worship, would die for Grace, but I’ve done too much stuff for her to ever trust me again and I have to be okay with that, so all of you should be, too.”

Grace didn’t know until Hazel told her that Forgive Him Grace and Groveling for Grace were a thing. She watched the video and was amazed that they had taken his words and decided to do the complete opposite, because of course they did! She merely made a post, with no tags or links that said, “I hate this fandom, and I hate all of you.” Some were in the comments laughing, because they knew exactly what she was talking about. Some were asking her what fandom it was and offering words of kindness. Some were just flooding it with those stupid hashtags. 

Simon messaged her to apologize and insist that he didn’t mean for THIS to happen. She turned it into a video call, which he immediately picked up.

“Your followers have always been a very… special kind. Unreasonable. Stubborn. Obsessively defensive, even when you absolutely don’t deserve it.” He looked embarrassed. “You trained them too well. Jeesh.”

“They’re literally a little cult on the internet,” he said.

“Yup. They better not be bothering my baby.”

“No. I shut that shit down the moment I see it. I actually pinned an exile list to the top of my pages specifically for that.”

She checked and saw “For troubling Hazel Monroe, you will be exiled and your name will go upon this wall of shame.” It was followed by a list of names of people he blocked and at the bottom, “Leave her alone or you won’t be welcome here.” 

“This is kinda adorable,” she said. “I love how you are with her. It means a lot to me.”

“You mean a lot to me, so she does too,” he said. She bit her lip and blew air through her lips. He smiled. “I love that you still do that. I was counting the similarities and differences.”

“I’d love to hear what you came up with!” She said.

“Okay. Similarities: You still do that brrrr thing with your mouth when you’re thinking or uncomfortable. You still play with people’s hair as a show of affection. You playfully tugged on Hazel’s braids so many times! Your feet still bother you… though they seem to be giving you more trouble than before. You still try to play nice with people and speak sweetly… Differences: You’re more confident. Not that you were insecure before, but you used to care what people think about you and now, you just don’t. It’s really sexy.” She blushed. “You’re independent. You don’t need anybody else and you used to always want somebody around. Like, you love Hazel and keep her close, but I can tell that you also allow her freedom and don’t demand her obedience like your parents did to you. And you’re… everything. I can’t believe that I convinced myself that you were nothing. You’re everything, and I would do anything for you.” They both just stared at each other a while. 

“Well… That’s a nice thought. I’ll think of you if I need anything.”

“Or if you want anything…. Anything at all, Grace. I swear.”

“Okay. I’ll talk to you soon. Get your followers together!”

“I’m on it,” he said and rested his chin on his hands. She exited the conversation and took a deep breath. She didn’t know what he meant by any of that, but she had a feeling that it would be clear soon. Simon never made a declaration that he wasn’t going to come through about. Even “new” Simon. 

Next

The way to the royal “haven”

practice challenge ((I’ve combined all the prompts here haha))

“Okay, everyone. I’m off now!” I cry as I grab my bag from the counter.

“Wait, what? Lunch’s ready!” Mom says, before sticking her head out of the window and yelling “BOYS LUNCH!”

“I told you I’m going to a concert today.” I say as I watch my dad and brother walk into the house with their hands full of soil from farming.

“Well, when you said concert, I wasn’t expecting you to leave before lunch!” Mom replies, shooing me out of my way as she pushes her son and husband to wash their hands. “You can’t survive the day without lunch! Especially if you’re gonna scream your lungs out at the songs.”

“I will eat along the way.” I tell her. She puts the pot down on the table and turns around to look at me.

“Haven Hart. I will not have this behavior of yours. Yes, I know girls go crazy over a singer and will try to get there as early as possible to catch a glimpse of him or something. But you will not do that! Finish your lunch first.”

“But Mom! I’m 20 years old! I’m not a baby anymore!” I argue, glancing at the clock in annoyance. I’m gonna be late. My brother must have noticed my annoyance and urgency and he gives me a sympathetic look.

“What about,” Hardin begins as he helps Mom with setting the table. “You pack this delicious pasta into a paper box and let Haven take it to the concert so she can fangirl while she eats?”

I nod hurriedly in agreement and give my mom puppy eyes. She sighs.

“Fine, but since you made the suggestion, you’re packing her lunch.” She states as she slaps a paper box into his hands. He rolls his eyes and stuff some of the pasta into the box lamely. After doing so, he hands me the lunchbox and I give him a grateful smile. He rolls his eyes again, mouths you owe me and I give my parents a kiss on the cheek and run off.

Now, I’ve never been one to lie to my parents, so I didn’t. It’s just that when I said I’m going to a concert, it wasn’t exactly the big expensive pop concerts they imagined. It’s a formal concert at the Hudson Royal Concert Hall, where Angelo Hyson will be singing a collection of songs from different musicals for the entertainment of a rich couple’s anniversary. And I most certainly did not get invited to the party, I was there for Angelo.

Angelo.

I sigh happily as I whisper his name. Angelo has the most angelic voice. While I have never been a big fan of musicals and opera and all that, the moment I heard him sing Music of the Night, I fell. Hard. I was there with Hardin, delivering some of the produce to the kitchen and Angelo was rehearsing. And being the lover of dance I am, my body started swaying and moving accordingly. He caught me from across the room and he came to talk to me and bang. That was it. We fell in love.

After a 30-minute walk, I finally made it to the hall. I look around to see Angelo busy talking to some guy in a suit, so I decide that we can talk later.

Here’s another thing I didn’t tell my parents. I was also here to perform, to be Angelo’s dancer.

Why didn’t I tell them? Simple. I’m supposedly a farmer, a four. But Angelo and being a dancer, is a five.

Which is why I have to put on a mask while performing.

But I don’t care, because for the next hour or so. I would be surrounded by love - dancing and Angelo.

----

“Hey.” A voice whispers into my ear as I pack my bags after the performance. I smile at the voice and turn around to place my arms on his. He returns the smile and kisses me gently. “How’s my favorite dancer in the world?” I only smile in response and touch my lips against his again.

“I almost couldn’t get here in time!” I laugh as I fill him in with what happened. When I finish, I look at Angelo to see him frowning.

“What’s wrong?” I ask softly, hating to see him sad.

“Have you read the news?” He asks with a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “It came out just now and I overheard some of the people talking about it. The prince just broke up with Evie.”

“Wait, what?” I reply with widened eyes. “But why?”

He shrugs in response.

“Well, okay. But you’re sad because the prince broke up with Evie?” I push, not understanding the whole situation.

“No.” He sighs as he pulls me into his arms. “It’s just that their sudden break up reminded me of how precious and lucky it is to be able to be with the person you’re in love with.”

I smile at his words and snuggle into him happily.

“Which is why I want to know if you’re truly truly happy with me.” He says after a slight hesitation. I widen my eyes and push away from him to look at him.

“Are you crazy?” I ask him. “I love you! I would do anything as long as it means I get to be with you.”

“But I’m a five. I can’t give you the life you’re having.” He reasons. I roll my eyes, having heard him say this a thousand times.

“We had this conversation last month! I thought I reassured you I don’t mind that.”

“Yes, but hearing you talk about hiding us from your parents…” He trails off with a frown on his cute and hot face. I place my hands on his face and stare into his eyes, searching for, I don’t know, something. But all I can see is love and pain. Pain at the thought of me having to be a five and not being able to tell my parents about us.

“Okay, well if that’s what you’re worried about. I’ll tell them.” I declare with a courage I never knew I had. But love gives you courage. “No, let’s tell them. Together. If we’re gonna spend the rest of our lives together, we might as well do this together.”

“W-” He begins before he is interrupt by a kiss from his angel, me.

“Nope. you’re not gonna say another word on this. They are my parents. I call the shots.” I announce, getting up to grab my bag.

“N- now?”

“Yes, now. I’ve never been more sure of anything. Let’s go.”

----

And that’s how I made the second worst decision I’ve ever made in my entire life.

To say my parents disliked Angelo and I would be an understatement. My mother screamed and my dad almost beat Angelo up. When Angelo left to make it home before the curfew, the screaming did not die down. And that whole night my mom and I screamed at each other, my dad kicked the soil and my brother tried to stop him, only to get a yelling from my mother about how Hardin let “your sister go into a dark path, making the worst decision of her life.” I was thankful we own a farm and live in the middle of it, or else the neighbors would definitely think I murdered someone.

And so the night went into morning, with my mom yelling about how I’m being stubborn and stupid and not giving other boys a chance. And my dad banning the two of us from making any more deliveries, which Hardin managed to slip out of as he argued that he would never have to marry down. He also argued that we needed the money as our farm wasn’t doing too good and my parents didn’t have the time and energy to do the delivering.

Sometimes I wish I was a boy instead.

Oh and that early morning, a sleep-deprived me made the worst decision in my entire life. To show my mom that I really love Angelo, I made a snarky comment about how even if the Prince were to show up at our doorstep to ask for my hand in marriage, I would still choose Angelo. And my mom told me to prove it.

And then because I’m stubborn and thought I would never be that unlucky to get chosen, I applied for The Selection.

Fuck.

And then I got chosen to represent Hudson.

Fuckity fuck fuck.

====

The rest became some sort of a blur to me. Thus, I shall be recapping the events that happened afterwards in pictures and short sentences. This is all still surreal to me.

The send-off:

It was a bit awkward, but hey, I played my part correctly and smoothly so there’s that. The Hart siblings took one last photo before I headed to the Selection.

Plane ride:

I put on a face mask right as I left Hudson, so I didn’t have to explain my weirdness.

I’m gonna miss my family so much. I changed into a nice pantsuit for the plane ride as I wanted to feel more comfortable. I was the last to arrive and was introduced to Brooke, Clara and Tavi. It was really hard to not talk to all those pretty girls, but I couldn’t. I told them I was sick and they became instantly concerned, with Clara cutely offering me some medicine. I declined politely.

I also used my phone to type out the things I want to say so I didn’t have to say them out loud in a weird voice. I missed my real voice. We chatted a bit, with me awkwardly writing things on my phone.

And did I mention they offered champagne on the plane???? Any other time, I would’ve grabbed one. Or two. Or more.

As the plane took off, Tavi, who was next to me, announced she was gonna listen to some music.

“Haven, would you like to join?” She asked me. I smiled and nodded.

“I do have a very mixed taste in music so you’re in for a treat.” She told me as she offered one of her earphones.

And then before I could stop myself. I winked. What. the. Hell. was. I. Doing.

Luckily no one seemed to notice.

Makeover:

That was the scariest and weirdest experience in my entire life. I have never had a makeover in my entire life. So, I simply dismissed them all and showed them pictures of Haven Hart, the prettiest farmer in Hudson, to prove to them that I can do the makeover to myself. And luckily, I got out of the interview, by once again telling them I’ve simply lost my voice.

But lemme just tell you, there were so many pretty and hot girls in the women's room. And wow, this must be a real heaven for the prince. Talking about a rebound, eh? Gotta take some points from him.

And finally, everything is over and I’m finally in the safety of my own room. I get out of the ridiculous dress, heels and makeup, before taking a long nice needed bath.

And then I take out my phone to call the only person in the world that I want to talk to right now.

h.hart

Oh, how I long to finally be able to be myself.

-----------

((A mega shoutout to Pia, Simone and Kat for the lovely rp!! @brookelynnsanders​ @tavi-hayes​ @clara-choii​ THANKS!!))

ty for tagging me @veraynes-blog! 💕

relationships: My spouse and I have been together for 7 years, married for 2. Coincidentally, it’s our anniversary today, so I need to sneak out to buy them flowers before they wake up 😁

break ups: Nothing too wild, but then again, I tend to do the dumping 😅Most dramatic was my first long term boyfriend right after college (we don’t talk anymore...). Least dramatic was my first girlfriend in high school. She’s cool as hell and we’re still buds!

kids: nooooooooope!

brothers and sisters: I have one younger brother and he is the dopest human on the planet. He got ordained online by one of those vague "Church of Humanity”-type things so he could officiate our wedding. We actually just got off the phone because he called to wish us a happy anniversary :) I love that kid to pieces. 

pets: One pitbull and one floofy orange cat. Our third furbabe was a wonderful old grump named Batman, but sadly we had to put him down a few weeks ago at the ripe old age of 20 :(

surgeries: I had one when I was a toddler, and a follow up for it when I was in second grade. I still fucking love my scar <3

tattoos: YES. I tried to count... I think I have 16 so far? Some were collected as souvenirs during trips (shoutout to Shorty at Salon Serpent in Amsterdam), some were custom designs (my fave is a big chest piece from a really kind human that went on to compete on the show Ink Master. it was SO WEIRD seeing him on TV), and most are flash pieces gotten on a whim because I’m friends with many tattoo-addicted enablers who don’t bat an eye when I say something like “hey, I’m bored. wanna go get tattooed?”  

countries you’ve been to: I live in the US, and I’ve traveled to Canada, Mexico, Costa Rica, the Dominican Republic, the Netherlands, and Italy. Technically Iceland too, but that was a layover, so I didn’t get to leave the airport.

been in an airplane: Yep

been in an ambulance: Yep 

sing karaoke: Yes, but I’d rather sing along with the rest of the audience than be on the stage.

ice skating: Badly, but I have.

been on a cruise: Once, but they terrify me now.

driven a motorcycle: About 15 years ago, my dad had his midlife crisis and got a motorcycle. He sold it about 6 months later, but regardless, he thought it would be a fun bonding activity if he took me to get my license as well. He also considered it a practical skill for his high school-aged daughter in case, and I quote, “[I’m] ever being chased by bad guys (???) and need to commandeer a vehicle, and the only available vehicle is a motorcycle.”  Loool. Idk how it works in other places, but I got to ride a state-provided motorcycle around a parking lot for 2 days with my class, while my dad sat in the grass with a cooler full of snacks cheering me on. I haven’t ridden one since (I’m not confident on anything with a manual clutch 😬), but it was a blast!

ridden a horse: Yes

stayed in a hospital: See “Been in an ambulance” 😅

favorite fruit or berries: Raspberries! I wish they weren’t so expensive, or I’d eat them all the time.

favorite colors: 💚and 💙

last text: “Did your mom finish watching Twilight yet?” (I’m so tempted to provide the context for this... but I think I’ll just leave it.)

coffee or tea: Coffee! But tea with milk if I wanna treat myself ^_^

favorite pie: See “favorite fruit or berries” 

favorite pizza: ok, I know Papa John is a terrible human, but Papa John’s garlic butter sauce is SO GOOD. Their pizza is simply a vehicle for the sauce.

cat or dog: yes ^_^

favorite time of the year: SUMMER! I’m a leo. This is my time. ♌️☀️🦁🌻🔥

met a star: sort of? I mean, he was a star to me. Story: My favorite holiday tradition is seeing A Christmas Carol with my family at a little theater near where I grew up. The last time we all went was a few years ago, and after the show, the actors were hanging around the lobby. I whispered to my brother, “Look, there’s Scrooge!” and because my brother one of those weirdos that can actually socialize with strangers, he dragged me over to meet the guy. The 3 of us got a selfie together, and you can actually see tears in my eyes in the photo because I was so happy 😂

flown a helicopter: About 15 years ago, my dad had his midlife crisis, and I’m kidding. No, I’ve never done this.

been on tv: Nope

broken my leg: No, but I came close enough that I did need a cast.

seen a ghost: One poked me in the back once while I was trying to fall asleep. Granted, we chose to stay in a haunted mansion. And we opted to sleep in the ghost’s bedroom. Really, I was asking for it.

been sick in a taxi: Nope.

seen someone die: No, thank god.

I’m going to tag @mushigo-palm-spores and @echospool, but I will not be mad if y’all don’t wanna do it 😄

shawn meets... | bella

SUMMARY: in the life of a rockstar, shawn mendes comes across some unique people. sometimes, things stray from the norm. (AU, shawn x every one of my oc’s)

AN: hiiii this is somewhat of a continuation of my last series, goth gf. you dont HAVE to read it to know what's happening here, but there will be references to it every so often. if you've been here since the goth gf days then, hi. i appreciate you. enjoy this shit. let me know ur thots.

****let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!

bella's origin story | bella's playlist | masterlist

It felt awfully strange to be in Annalise's hometown, knowing she wouldn't be going home right away. The residential part of North Hollywood where her parents lived still felt like it was a million miles away. The glamorous Lyft Lux was going through the equally glamorous parts of the city, and it was almost mundane despite the fact that she had been away for over a year.

Shawn and his younger sister, Aaliyah, were frequently pointing out the exciting things they had only seen in photos and movies: the Chinese Theater, the Walk of Fame, the Hollywood sign. They were bundles of energy and excitement. Annalise was only jittery because she never fully processed that she lives in the same city as her favorite YouTuber, Bella Santiago.

Over a month ago, Bella discovered the Shawn Mendes profile on Spotify, causing her to give him a shoutout on Twitter. Then, just after the release of his newest EP, In My Blood, Bella messaged Shawn, offering to fly him out to LA, put him in a hotel and make a video with her. Shawn immediately jumped at the chance, but he couldn't go without bringing two of the biggest Bella stans he knew, Annalise and Aaliyah. The only reason why it took until the New Year for this to happen was simple: exams and Christmas.

When the semester ended, Annalise spent the holidays and her 22nd birthday with Shawn's family in Pickering, much to her own family's disdain. It was different, celebrating Christmas on the morning of the 25th, rather than the 24th. It was also different not eating tamales or pozole like she did with her family. It totally wasn't annoying when Shawn blasted that god awful Taylor Swift song on the morning of Annalise's birthday. She totally didn't miss her family either.

She had to promise her parents that she would stay in LA for the duration of the holiday break in return for missing all the important holidays. It wasn't a hard decision to make, but it was going to be hard letting Shawn go. Annalise only hoped that there would be time for him to meet her extended family during this trip. From what she understood, as soon as Bella was done with him, Shawn and Aaliyah were getting on a plane straight back to Toronto.

As it turns out, Bella Santiago is insanely generous. She reserved the three of them a deluxe suite at the Marriott. They had a view of the city, a massive king size bed, and a pull out sofa bed. Everything was spotless, and luxurious.

"She didn't have to go this hard," Aaliyah pointed out as she tossed her suitcase to the side.

"What, would you rather sleep on the floor?" Shawn teased. "And pick that up and move it so it's out of the way!"

She rolled her eyes as she did what he said.

Annalise made herself comfortable on top of the white sheets. While all of this was exciting, she was fucking exhausted. It felt like it was much later in the day, having gotten up at seven. The time change made it feel like it was well in the afternoon, but it was barely eleven.

"How's your tummy?" Shawn asked from the window. He had his phone out and was taking photos of the view.

"Much better," she replied.

Against her better judgment, Annalise had a coffee during the five hour flight, and it did not agree with her. She made good friends with a barf bag… or three. All the caffeine must have left her system if she was feeling better now.

"What time do we meet Bella?" asked Aaliyah, padding over to stand by her brother.

"Three o'clock," Shawn replied. "In the ballroom downstairs."

That prompted all three of them to take a death nap for the time being. It only lasted about three hours, and when their alarms went off, none of them felt any more rested.

Annalise was the first one to actually get up and get ready. For once, she was intimidated by who she was going to be standing in front of today. She had to look her best, even if it was in all black.

It didn't take long for Aaliyah to follow suit. Soon enough, both girls were sitting in front of the window, using the California sun for their light as they did their makeup.

The funny thing is, as much as they cared about looking their best, neither of them were going to be in Bella's video. She only wanted Shawn, who was still lying in bed half an hour before the scheduled meet up.

"What are you gonna wear?" Annalise asked her boyfriend.

"I don't know," he replied, his voice muffled by the pillow. "Will she even care about what I'm wearing?"

"You're gonna be on her channel," Aaliyah said, looking up from her handheld mirror, "which has millions of viewers, including some of my friends who will never let me hear the end of it if they see my brother looking like a clown in front of the queen!"

Shawn grinned and got up. "I'll go like this, what do you think?" He held his arms out, showcasing his plaid pajama bottoms and a Nike hoodie. He also only had one sock on.

"You'll be dead before you step out of the room like that," Ann darkly added.

“Thanks Satan.” He chuckled.

Shawn was only pretending to be calm. Inside, he was shaking and his insides were heavy. He didn't even think about Bella's subscriber count until Aaliyah pointed it out. He really wanted Bella to like him too. She seemed like such a sweetheart from her videos, Shawn hoped that wasn't just a persona.

He had spent most of the flight watching her videos (when Ann wasn’t puking up her caffeine, of course.) He made it through a few tutorials, learning a lot about not only makeup, but Bella herself. She suffers from several anxiety disorders and constantly works to better herself. She left her parents when she came out to them as bisexual, and she hasn't spoke to them or her extended family in years. She recently got out of a relationship with another YouTuber named Ethan Nestor, which was part of the reason why she spent half of 2019 in her hometown of Palm Springs. This woman has some thick skin, there was no denying that.

One of the best things that Shawn learned about Bella was that she had a butterfly tattoo on her left arm. In another video, she talked about how her viewers drew butterflies on their arms in support of her when she was down. She got it tattooed for them, and the colors of the wings were the same as the bisexual pride flag. Shawn looked at his own butterfly tattoo differently now.

The other best thing he learned was how talented of a singer Bella was. She had covers on her channel, and Shawn watched every single one. Bella had such a rich, beautiful voice, and it looked so easy for her to hit any high note. She sang Love on the Brain without any strain on her face. She sang a gayer version of You Belong with Me, and played guitar with it. She sang with Markiplier as the opening act when they were on a comedy show tour in 2018.

Shawn couldn't wait to sing with her, though he was intimidated. He thought he was a good singer, but put him next to someone with Ariana Grande levels of talent? The nerves were never ending.

It was ten til three when everyone was ready. Their only predicament was to go down to the ballroom early or not.

“Did she text you?” Aaliyah asked, clearly antsy. “Is she on her way or anything?”

Shawn shook his head. He had changed into a white tee, black jeans and a denim jacket, which the two girls approved of. “Should I message her? Or… her manager? She’s the one who made all these arrangements.”

“Hey, she might not even be here on time,” Ann said. “YouTubers are like celebrities. They run on their own schedules just because they can.”

“Bella wouldn’t do that, would she?” Aaliyah said in disbelief.

“Only one way to find out.”

And to the ballroom they went. The space was huge, clearly meant for a party. There were sheer white curtains hanging from the huge windows, and a chandelier hanging from the ceiling. In the far corner of the room, tables and chairs were folded and leaning against the wall. Shawn, Aaliyah, and Ann looked around the room, all silently nervous and excited. Only a few minutes into it, they heard female voices just outside the room.

“But we’re always early! I knew I should have driven myself!”

“It’s two fifty-nine! Relax, they’re probably not even here yet!”

“Huh, I’ll be damned,” Ann mumbled, looking at her phone to verify the time.

The owners of the other two voices entered the room, carrying expensive-looking camera equipment and studio lights. They were followed by a bellhop, who was carrying a keyboard in a case. One woman was short and curvy, brown and freckled. Her short black hair was curly and glossed down, and she was wearing a bright red pantsuit.

The other woman was long and lean, decked out in a white long sleeve crop top, a black skirt, and knee high boots. Her iconic bright pink hair made a comeback, that wasn’t in her latest video. Her kind face looked airbrushed and flawless, although her brown eyes looked alarmed, like she was caught in headlights.

The first person to break the silence was the woman in red, already establishing her power. “Hello!” She held her hand out to Shawn. “I’m Sonji, I’m Bella’s manager. I believe we spoke on the phone. And on Twitter.”

“Yeah, yeah we did,” he said as they shook hands. “Uh, this Aaliyah and Ann, my sister and my girlfriend.”

“Hi, ladies!” Sonji greeted, shaking their hands as well. “So lovely to meet you! God, you’re all so pretty!”

Both girls mumbled shy thank you’s.

“Okay, so my handsome friend here and myself are going to set things up for the video,” Sonji explained. “In the meantime-” She looked at her silent client. “-Baller, come talk to your little protégé.”

Then, Sonji led the bellhop further into the room, over by the windows.

Bella still had a bag slung over her shoulder and a massive studio light stand in her hands. She was clutching it to her chest, a very performative and awkward smile etched on her bright pink lips.

“Hi!” she said after one very long second. “Uh - lemme -” She set down the giant lights and removed the bag from her shoulder. Then she stood up straight and smoothed out her hair. “Hi! Uh, I said that already!”

“I’ll say it again! Hi!” Shawn greeted, smiling politely.

Bella looked at him and opened her arms for a hug. “It’s nice to finally meet you!”

It might be weird to put it this way, but she smelled pretty. Whatever perfume she was wearing was probably more expensive than the flight over here. Shawn hugged her around her shoulders, inadvertently touching her surprisingly soft hair. You could just tell that she didn’t spare a single penny when it came to caring for herself.

“Wow, I wasn’t expecting you to be so tall!” she said, looking up at Shawn. “For once, I’m not the tallest person in the room!”

She couldn’t have been taller than Ann, who was five foot five inches and felt very short most of the time.

“And this is the sister and the girlfriend?” Bella said, turning to the other two girls. She went to hug Aaliyah, who was more than delighted by the gesture.

Bella leaned back and took her hand. “I love your nails! Love the shape and color!” She ran her thumb over the white acrylics. “So cute!”

“Aw, thank you!” Aaliyah was beaming.

Then, Bella turned to hug Ann. It’s important to point out that in most situations, Annalise Flores is stone faced, calm, and collected. Today, however, Ann had wide eyes, like she was face the good Lord herself… like she was going to drop down on one knee and propose to Bella.

Shawn wouldn’t blame her.

“Me encanta su delineador!” Bella told her, gently cupping her face.

“En serio?” Ann softly asked.

“Yes, que linda! Those inner wings are to die for! What do you use?”

“Um.. uh, I think it’s NYX? I don’t know the exact one, but it’s definitely NYX!” Ann chuckled nervously.

“Well, it looks amazing!”

Ann looked like she was going to faint with that euphoric dazed look on her face. Thankfully, she stayed on both feet because Sonji grabbed their attention. She managed to sneak by Bella, take the lights and bag, and set them all up by the window. She also set up the keyboard, camera and two chairs. There were three other chairs behind the camera as well. Sonji was incredibly fast.

“We are all ready to go!” she said to the others.

“Shall we?” Bella gestured for the other three to go first.

Shawn, Ann, and Aaliyah went over to the set up, excitement only increasing from here.

"Were you two going to be in the video too?" Sonji asked the two girls.

They both shook their heads.

"Nervous? Don't blame you, the Internet is brutal."

That didn't help Shawn's bundle of nerves. He took a silent deep breath as he went for his guitar case while Bella sat in front of her keyboard. The Internet is brutal, and Shawn's own minuscule corner of it was safe solely because of the size. The fans he tweeted every so often were seemingly normal, and no one was overly critical about him or his music. More exposure means more space for criticism and plain old hate.

Bella had over five million subscribers, and at least forty thousand of them took an interest in Shawn over the last month and a half. It was a lot of new people to make a good impression to. He took another deep breath and removed the guitar from its case. There's no going back now.

"So, I don't want this to be a structured, planned out video," Bella explained when Shawn took the empty chair next to her. "I just want us to talk so my viewers can get to know you, and we'll sing whatever comes to mind."

"Sounds good," Shawn said, not really hearing himself.

"Now everybody - and I mean everybody - take in a deep breath."

The room was silent except for the sounds of everyone inhaling through their noses. Aaliyah and Ann still looked excited as they followed Bella's instruction. Sonji followed as well, like she had done this a thousand times.

"And exhale," Bella breathed out, and the others repeated. "Good. Get those nerves out, breathe away the anxiety. This is fun, we're having fun."

Shawn felt a little better, knowing she was just as nervous, if not more. Throughout all of Bella's mental health videos that he watched on the plane, none of them seemed to touch on how severe her own case was.

Finally, Bella addressed the camera, her soft voice suddenly projected. "Hey, it's Bella! Welcome back to my channel! Today, I'm here with a very special guest! Some of you saw me tweet a while ago…"

Oh god, what the fuck was Shawn going to say? He looked over at Ann, who smiled reassuringly and silently did the motions for deep breathing. Stay calm. You're a strong guy.

"So how long have you been making music?" Bella asked him as she mindlessly pressed keys on her keyboard.

Shawn recalled as best he could. "Uh, I sang covers when I was fifteen. Didn't make my own music until a few years later."

"Nice! Are you in school, or work or something?"

"Yeah, I'm in college. I'm majoring in music and botany."

"Oh, you like plants?"

Shawn was mildly impressed. Most people had to ask what botany is, and he would have to explain for the thousandth time. Then, he would be told to drop the music major because it's easier to find a job in plant science.

"Flowers," he clarified. "I work in a flower shop."

"That's so cool!"

The conversation got easier as time went on. Sometimes Aaliyah or Ann would chime in if they felt that Shawn was getting too confident. Bella giggled every so often, which made everyone in the room adore her even more.

Shawn was about ready to propose when Bella started playing Mercy on her keyboard and humming the beginning. He stared at her in shock for a few seconds before he played along on guitar. Hopefully that didn't look too embarrassing on camera. He listened to her voice for a moment before singing with her in the chorus.

He had plenty of questions for Bella after they went through that song. "Where did you get a voice like that?"

"I could carry a tune as a kid," she explained, "so I was put into singing classes to hone it. Then I did church choir, school choir… I just never really stopped singing." She paused and then chuckled nervously. "This is gonna sound pretentious, but I think I got this voice for a reason. Meaning, I have this platform and all these followers. I think I'm meant to use my voice for good. Help people in whatever way I can."

Shawn smiled. "That's beautiful. I see that in your videos. I kinda went on a binge on the plane."

Bella grinned.

"One thing that stood out to me…" Shawn hesitated, minding the camera and the future viewers of this video. "You are so unapologetically bisexual. You always make the point to the person you needed as a kid, because there is still so little bi representation in the media. And you decided, if no one's going to do it, then you'll do it yourself, and I think that's incredible."

"Yeah, I didn't have anyone telling me it's okay to feel what I feel, and I don't want anyone to go through what I went through as a teen."

Shawn nodded, glancing over at Ann once. He had talked about touching on this particular topic with her, and he was starting to have his own shred of doubt.

But, he learned from his girlfriend. Fuck it.

"I wish I had someone like you as a teenager," he said to Bella, strumming his guitar. "I mean, when I came out to my family, I was lucky. They were loving and accepting, but I still couldn't find anyone out there who was like me, in real life or in the media. I really wish I had found your videos sooner."

Bella was beaming. "I knew I liked you."

The two of them went back and forth between talking and singing. They compared butterfly tattoos, and then Bella was asking him about his other tats. Shawn learned a couple of Little Mix songs too, which led him to discover where his girlfriend got that fixation from. He was mostly amazed at how Bella was able to belt out song after song like it was nothing. Like she was meant for this. Why did she choose to be a makeup artist?

"Have you ever been offered a record deal?" Shawn asked. "Or thought about making your own music?"

"Mm, yes and yes," she said. "But singing is more of a hobby. I can't see myself delving into the music industry at all. Makeup is where it's at for me. Makeup got me through some of the hardest times in my life."

Shawn wouldn't say no to a record deal. He'd move to Los Angeles tomorrow if he could. He would do just about anything to play music full time. He glanced over at Ann again, who winked with a smile.

next chapter

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taglist: @normalcyisoverrated-beyou @justordinaryjen @chillingbythesea @iloveshawnieboi @shawnsunflower @someoneunimportantxx

Ava & Grace

Ava: Hey Grace: 👋 Ava: How'd it go with gym boy? Grace: 🤞 he's got the hint 👻 Ava: That good, huh Ava: how about the rest, you know, not boys? Grace: we so aren't here to talk about me Ava: Come on Ava: Give me some normal conversation right now Grace: !!!!!!!!! Grace: 100% not gonna be that bitch, talk to ME about what's going on in your oh so dramatic life! Grace: are you okay? Ava: Okay, okay Ava: I'll just come out with it Ava: no sugarcoating Grace: Duh 🚫🍫🍬🍭 Grace: it's not a cheat day Ava: 🤫🤫🤫 Ava: You wanna hear this hot, hot tea or nah Grace: obvs Ava: You'll be the least surprised so there's that Grace: 🚫😱😱😱 Ava: You know when you came here and then married guy couldn't come and then everything fizzled out? Ava: well, it actually did, for nearly a month Ava: but then he came back Grace: OMG Grace: it's literally the MOST 💖📽🎞 like FORGET before Ava: It really was Ava: remember when I got hit by that cyclist? Grace: that was so wild! OH was he the 🚴??? Ava: 😂 Ava: Imagine Grace: your otp Ava: But no, my parents were out of town Ava: and he came to the hospital, to make sure I was okay Ava: and he took me home and looked after me Grace: I'm like about to cry???!!! that's so Grace: 😍😍 Ava: Me too Ava: and of course, I had to go on Holiday like immediately after so that was shit but since then we've been talking and Ava: he's divorcing his wife Grace: I TOLD YOU HE WAS PURE Ava: I know Ava: and I'm sorry I had to kinda lie to you Ava: but I accidentally let slip I had talked to you and he freaked and that's why he first left so Grace: Oh please, if I filmed a storytime about this ALL the comments would be calling me out as #fake Grace: I get it Ava: It does sound pretty unbelievable Ava: even more so if I actually tell you who he is Grace: are you GOING TO???!! 😱😱😱 Ava: May as well, I've had to tell Nancy Ava: Parents and Buster to go Grace: Ugh! so sorry babes Ava: I couldn't tell you before 'cos they kinda know him Ava: knew him Ava: he was one of Buster's friends from School Ava: and his crazy wife is the main girl who bullied Nancy so Ava: that was fun Grace: Really?! wtf Grace: Chelsea is like Grace: so weirdly small Ava: That's why we call 'em villages, even though you're in a big city, the actual communities are ridiculously close-knit, for better and worse Ava: oh and Ava: make it weirder still Ava: you remember that boy from my party, Teddy? Grace: UM obvs I never forget a 💋 Ava: Well, that's his brother Grace: !!!!!!!!!!!!! Grace: do they look alike cos 🧸 is 😍😍 like 🙏🙏 Ava: Kinda Ava: [sends a cute photo he would've been able to send to the fake profile] Grace: oh Grace: my Grace: god Ava: I know Ava: 😩😍 Grace: did he edit his 👀??! I'm so shook 💙 Ava: No, I've seen them up close Ava: they're actually that unreal Grace: I can't even Ava: Guess what Grace: ?? Ava: He said he loves me Grace: NO WAY Grace: 😭😭😭😭 Ava: I know, I know Ava: I can't even Grace: so are you like a thing™ now? Ava: Yeah Ava: that's why I'm telling everyone Grace: Your parents are gonna be so Ava: Ugh Ava: it's going to be a whole thing Ava: with all of them Grace: mhhmmm Grace: like I feel like I know the answer but how did Nancy take it?? Ava: She just Ava: does my head in at the best of times and this was no exception, sadly Grace: at least Buster can't be telling ANYONE how to live their lives Grace: especially 😍💖 Ava: Watch him try though Ava: I'm expecting it though, they'll have to get over it on their own time Grace: 🙄 Grace: I feel that, Ri always thinks she can tell me something Ava: It's so Grace: IKR Grace: full offense babes I'm gonna listen to Janis before you & like no Ava: It's gonna be hellish but they can't do anything about it Grace: 🙏💜🤞 Ava: unless they do in which case bye and feel free to go through my wardrobe 🤷 Grace: duh Grace: but watch me also take your man Ava: 😏 cheek Grace: my crazy would look 😇 next to his ex's Grace: love that for me Ava: 'Til I haunt you crazier Grace: so scared obvs Ava: 😒 Ava: I only just got him, you can't be stealing him Grace: so sorry but like gotta get the full set on that fam now Ava: You better 🙏 my parents take it that personal Grace: 😇🙏💜 Grace: Jesus is totally my bae so Ava: and God's favourite son Ava: leave mine alone 😉 Grace: 😂😂 Ava: So you're not mad at me now, yeah? Grace: lowkey 💔 but not mad Ava: awh please Grace: ILY bitch you know it Ava: ily too 💙 Grace: & now I don't have to 👻💔 his brother so Grace: no way he'll be hitting me up after this Ava: Oh yeah, you're welcome for doing your dirtywork Grace: 💜😂💜 Ava: Has he hit you up then? 👀 Grace: 🤐🤐🤐 Ava: After I just poured my heart out? Ava: Rudeness Grace: you're in a 📽🎞💖 I'm in a 📽🎞😱 starring my crazy Ava: Girl, please Grace: I'm so serious Grace: & so over it Ava: You're not crazy Grace: I'm not not Grace: ask gym boy, but like don't Ava: I'm not gonna sleuth on you, don't worry Grace: if you had you'd see 🧸 on my pics hitting the 💜 Ava: Cute Ava: he must like you or he'd air you Ava: it's not unheard of Grace: like I said, thanks for putting that work in for me babes Ava: 😒 why not talk to him Ava: you don't have to see him 24/7 Grace: well duh I'm not about to move in with you Grace: but that's not why I can't Ava: ? Grace: he's like Grace: & I'm like Grace: It's not gonna be a thing Ava: You can't be friends? Grace: 😂😂 no Grace: that's as terrifying OMG Ava: 🙄 he is NOT scary Ava: though he is gonna hate me now probably so loyalties Grace: UM yeah he is Grace: he's nice & so I'm scared of him Grace: @ gym boy too Ava: 🤔 Grace: ugh whatever Ava: You're a nice person, you should hang with other nice people Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: I've got friends he doesn't need to be one Ava: Okay Ava: not my otp, not gonna push that hard Grace: or ours its fine Grace: he won't be 😭😭😭 Ava: 'Course Ava: gonna have bigger problems to deal with, lbr Ava: 😬 Grace: yeah exactly Grace: maybe we can bond when the wife murders you but like Grace: black isn't my fave tbh can't 🤞 I'll serve my best look Ava: Funny 😏 Ava: she's actually 'out of the country' rn so you should probably watch your back 🔪🔪 Grace: you're so not gonna come visit me now you're 😍😍😍 are you? Grace: are you even doing holiday 2? Ava: time is getting away from us Ava: summer holiday standard Ava: it lowkey has not been organized so god knows now, I wouldn't be mad if it didn't but I wouldn't not go, I guess Grace: depends how they take your homewrecker status Ava: Yep, cheers 👍 Grace: people are shady Ava: Sure Ava: but my actual friend friends will know what's up Ava: everyone else chats about us anyway Grace: true Grace: shoutout to the fam for that one Ava: at least this one is something I actually did so Ava: oh well Grace: anyone who has a clue about his ex will know it's not even you Grace: like sorry hun you killed that 💍 yourself Ava: I'm not too fussed, it's my last year 💁 Grace: #priorities Ava: Exactly Grace: still so triggered by the idea of going back though thanks Grace: school is the WORST Ava: tell me about it Ava: won't miss that place Ava: Chelsea in general moreso but it isn't like I'll be a million miles away Grace: unlike me always a ✈ away Ava: Do you reckon you'll stay in Dublin? Grace: I guess Grace: where else would I go? Ava: You aren't going to make like Billie and Nancy and bounce then? Grace: being a or sleeping with models isn't very likely for me, babes Ava: Models are usually weird looking anyways Ava: oops accidental shade at your sister 🙊 Ava: don't tell Grace: thanks? I think Grace: shade her all you want, I'm about it Ava: How many times have you seen her kid? Grace: Like none Grace: we might get christmas but Ava: this family is messy Ava: watch me get lectured like it ain't Grace: preach Grace: maybe I shouldn't stay here Ava: you could stay or go wherever Ava: everywhere needs beauticians Grace: not Chelsea though, I'd run into your boyfriend's wife Grace: obvs can't escape anyone there Ava: 😂 truly Ava: I don't wanna be far away from the fam Ava: cracked as they are Ava: but that's just me Ava: I guess it isn't automatically selfish to move yourself halfway 'cross the globe hmm Grace: same though, I even miss Junie & like ?? why Grace: never saw him when we lived in the same house Ava: yeah Ava: that whole situation still fucks me off I Ava: idk Ava: I know it's not the kid's fault but I can barely even look at pictures of her Grace: Ri never should've done it Grace: like he didn't need a kid that bad Grace: obvs he didn't actually need one at all but nobody NEEDS one Ava: If they'd been together any amount of time Ava: Junior wasn't 20 fucking years old Ava: it was really stupid Ava: Buster said but oh well Grace: Demi is so Grace: I can't Ava: This family can't seem to help but add more fucked up people into its sphere Ava: like Ro hadn't just brought Drew back, AGAIN Grace: Getting pregnant by accident is one thing, like it's stupid but okay Grace: they planned that Ava: This family has way too many baby hangups dating back to nan Ava: can't blame her for all of this but break the cycle, someone, damn Grace: literally had my contraception on 🔒 since I was 13 thank you Ava: 'Accident' is some bullshit 9/10 times tbh Ava: you knew it was a matter of time, even if you don't know you knew it Grace: @ my mum & dad so hard Ava: and mine, they say the twins were an accident but they probably would've broke up if they hadn't have had them at that time so Grace: mhmmm Ava: ugh Ava: I'm just heated knowing how hard I'm gonna have to defend this Ava: like I've got myself pregnant Grace: don't even joke, she trapped that poor boy so hard like Ava: seriously, he probably never wants kids again Ava: not that I've asked because it's been like a month or so and I'm not psychotic, thanks Grace: do you? not now obvs Ava: I don't know Ava: like, don't tell my mother but I don't actually meticulously plan every aspect of my life Ava: if I ended up at a place and time in my life where it felt right, I could see it Ava: but if I ended up living a different life where they wouldn't fit, I wouldn't and I wouldn't be 💔 about that Grace: 😂🤐 Ava: Do you? Grace: girl, I'm too freaked out to let a boy date me, I don't think it's gonna happen Ava: you won't be 16 forever Ava: and if Ro can manage it Ava: your mum and Drew are probably the only people to see her vaguely undressed in her life Grace: idk sometimes it's all I want & sometimes it's the WORST thing I could think of Ava: I get that Ava: I don't think its a thing you can overthink, 'cos it's not usually right or wrong Ava: so people just do it and have to deal, better or worse Grace: Yeah Grace: maybe I'll get like that with dating Grace: or you know, get so lonely that I won't care that people always leave Ava: 😔 Ava: You'll get there, whether there is living your best life with or without Ava: I'm defs getting left after this fiasco so I'll come 😭 to you in a few no doubt Ava: we're walking Frank rn, so gonna enjoy this whilst it lasts 👌🥰 Grace: UM no! He LOVES you remember, you'll come at me with your 😍 more like Ava: 🤞🤞 Grace: 🙏💜

this has been the most wild fuckin year so let’s do a Year in Review shall we

in terms of internet and fandom life, that is. my real life has been atrociously boring but who cares about real life amirite folx

january probably the only calm month of the year.  i spent the first day of the month watching the brazilian inauguration in burgos, spain with one headphone in, while ordering for my family in a restaurant where nobody spoke english (my sister speaks decent spanish, but my whole family has like 8194814 food restrictions so it kind of went past her level of ability). translating between spanish and english with portuguese in one year was kind of awesome. i watched bodyguard and it was amazing!  what else...in january i briefly owned the issue of spanish GQ with Luka on the cover which i then forgot about until november. other than that...? nada.  the calm before the storm. (fav music)

february was so long ago that i keep forgetting how insane its 28 days were.  probably the wildest month of the year really. i got involved in an absolutely batshit and exclusive group chat with a famous person’s family member (which must remain confidential). it was all sunshine and rainbows for a week and a half and it then devolved into the most absolutely insane Lord of the Flies situation ever--it turned into 1 main chat and then 1 chat that was less puritanical than the main chat, and that chat spawned another chat that didn’t trust the previous chat, and then that chat had a massive argument and a like 6-person bitchy chat modded by a gay guy who does voodoo (shoutout to ALCIDES) spawned from that one.  i made it into every level of group chat and was asked by the tiny bitchy chat to spy on the other bitchy chat (i did not lol). i was a member of the tiny bitchy chat until i got a new phone and was logged out of whatsapp for like a month.  these words can’t even convey what this chat was like--oh and did i mention it was all conducted in only my 3rd-best language? it’s no wonder my weird ass survived middle school almost entirely unscathed.  as this was winding down, on the very last day of the month, I found out about Justin’s involvement in the SNC-Lavalin scandal and decided to go public about my years-long boner for him; Lavscam definitely changed the course of the rest year ~ Oh, also i began helping to repair a friendship that had had some Drama go down so that was p cool ~ (fav music)

march was a Time. The insanity of lavscam helped me finally finish the macdeau I started writing the previous December when a bunch of tungelr people called me disgusting for writing it.  i wrote my first straight-up serious explicit porn in years which has wound up being the third-longest thing i’ve ever published on ao3. Also, Hozier released Wasteland, Baby! which made a huge impact on me as well.  i spent like half of march staying up till 3:30 am writing said Long Fic, and i was firmly in the closet about stanning manu. also justin almost got a vote of no confidence or something and he got busted for eating a chocolate bar during a parliamentary all-nighter.  (fav music)

in april i wrote a ton of fanfic thanks to declining mental health(tm).  i think this is when i started my emmanuyell insta account and became really into making weird edits (which i still love doing just...don’t anymore.)  i started meeting some cool people thanks to macdeau.  what else happened in april? i feel like it wasn’t actually too eventful other than writing a lot of fanfic and being Annoyed about manu.  feel free to jog my memory lol.  oh i think i wrote “Okay so who from the French national team are we gonna ship Manu with” on twitter after seeing photos of manu + antoine griezmann at the World Cup but nothing came of that...at that time... (fav music)

may saw me having to deal with my shit mental health and up my meds but that seems to have had a good effect because i seem to not be too depressed to write in the winter/fall anymore! it was the 2nd anniversary of manu’s election and at the Christchurch Call in paris, macdeau took that amazing fairytale princess photo together that was completely unrivalled in Gay Shippy Feels moments until ivan went out of his way to kiss luka during the el clásico gameplay last wednesday. someone wrote ao3′s first griezmanu drabble and at the end manu gets down on his knees in front of antoine, takes off his shoes for him, and sucks his dick, and i achieved another state of being entirely.  my sister graduated from grad school and when we went down to DC for the weekend i went to eat at this restaurant manu famously ate at while there and ordered the same stuff he did and i have no idea how he consumed all that grease.  i learned about the song O Come, O Come, Emmanuel *snort*. i feel like other things happened in may too?  OH YES--i got the idea for my magnum opus, Trophy Boyfriend, and started to write it. the first scene i wrote was justin blowing manu in the hallway. then the same day i wrote the scene at the airport (which was the ending for a solid month and half till i realized it shouldn’t be), and the saddest scene in the fic--but we’ll stop to open presents.  oh! and i stumbled across the macronists discord chat which is such a delightful little community *weepy sniffles* (fav music)

june was Eventful.  a french neonazi on tumblr told me to go let manu fuck me in the ass because i was a fucking degenerate.  what a start!  then came the ceremony in which manu awarded everyone on the french national team the legion of honor medal and the way he and antoine looked at each other was truly...Wait it was the 3rd Gay Shippy Feels moment of the year.  as soon as the ceremony was over i wrote a fic about it and haven’t looked back.  between this + watching almost every 2018 World Cup game and the women’s world cup (during which I cried during argentina’s last game because of that miraculous penalty) i finally achieved my years-long goal of getting into Futbol(TM).  Antoine dropped his spotify playlist and my crush on him turned into Intense Love (TM) and also he introduced me to some legit awesome artists.  which led to (fav music)

july, in which i wrote “ça c’est ma dope” which is definitely the best thing i’ve written since i wrote “modernity towering in front of the sky” almost exactly 10 years before. got embroiled in Soccer Transfer Drama and learned its pain for the first time (unfortunately, since i wound up attaching my heart-wagon to barça’s Suddenly Least Favorite Player, the transfer drama pain has...never ended) became a full-fledged culé, O the joy O the honor.  i wanted to ship antoine with someone on the team, which in their current chemistry-less season is a real challenge, but after seeing a few photos i decided it would be fun to casually ship antoine + ivan rakitic (partially because, ever since i went from Enemies to Lovers with the croatia NT during the World Cup, he was one of the only players i knew anything about other than messi, suárez, and piqué lmao). while looking on ao3 to see what kind of headcanons people had about him--and the fic is definitely in general better than what’s out there about antoine, which is perplexing because antoine is much easier to write than ivan--i found That Amazing Rakidric Fic and thought “oh wait that ship makes a lot of sense” and started also shipping ivan and luka with the fire of a thousand suns.  oh and my air conditioner was broken for like 3 weeks. i worked on more fics, seriously outlining the path of Trophy Boyfriend, and my music taste was killer. (fav music)

in august i finished Trophy Boyfriend in my neighborhood Starbucks after writing the scene that was giving me the most trouble (the scene at the beginning where they’re organizing their book collection). the fic has made multiple people cry and people disagree on whether justin’s choice at the end was the right one and god i’m so proud of it.  Instantly went on to write ‘i might not mind,’ a lively lighthearted Friends to Lovers ivantoine~ romp which was definitely going to be a one-off and i was definitely not going to get an extra celeb crush out of it,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, (fav music)

in september ivantoine became A Thing in my mind and it’s a whole ongoing slow-burn character-arcy series that has taken a very different turn than i had expected. i’m not saying it’s like, the most deep writing of all time, but it’s gone to some interesting places emotionally. honestly, ships and boners aside, the concept of a person who made some really stupid homophobia 101 comments many years ago slowly realizing over and over again that they have gay feelings for a man who seems rather comfortable with gayness is a fascinating one and one that’s really cool to explore in writing.  Or at least, i think so.  in many ways ivan is my most unreliable narrator because of the many layers of Discomfort, Emotion and Repression at play in the fic while he’s interacting with this pretty cheery and uncomplicated seeming-dude who’s still perceptive enough to sort of know what’s going on (and that’s not even adding in the star player/falling from grace former rockstar dynamic!!!)  i know in the current climate it’s Not Allowed to write about someone who said a bad, but luckily i’m too old to give a Fuck. ivantoine is hard to write but it’s my bff’s favorite ship of mine and has a few other excited fans on ao3 which tbh is kind of an accomplishment considering i made it up out of thin air and it’s not something you’d ever think would be a thing. instantly also developed ‘getting called out about ivan by a child on the internet’ as a goal.  and...i achieved my dream of leading high holiday services!!! (fav music)

october had more high holiday services and i worked a lot on certain fics (including d*janfic which would be fun to finish). i came up with the idea of a Very Long Rakidric Fic based on the translation of a gorgeous croatian folk song i sang in college (Janko fell asleep under the poplar/My dear and beloved/My beautiful dark eyes/Look at me/Under the poplar's golden branch/My dear and beloved/My beautiful dark eyes/Look at me/I tore off the golden branch/My dear and beloved/My beautiful dark eyes/Look at me--in which the golden branch is a reference to a way to get into the underworld). decided to start quarter-assedly learning croatian for fun.  Fun...ha.  other than fangirling a lot and watching the croatian NT play, october was pretty uneventful? i think? Justin got reelected and mauricio didn’t ;( (fav music)

in november i finally achieved my dream of having a literal child on the internet call me out about being attracted to a homophobe.  (they were a madridista even!) accidentally started writing some more rakidric and now i’m seriously hooked.  also accidentally came out of the closet about the secret crush i’d been harboring on luka modric and then one fateful day in the ihop on 14th st i realized i’d had this crush already and repressed it from my memory. Don’t do that kids! now it’s Hurting Really Bad. Ivan dropped the most pathetic and candid interview like...ever and i hope “¿Cómo puede disfrutar uno? Jugando al fútbol. ¿Cómo se siente mi hija pequeña cuando le quitan un juguete? Triste. Yo me siento igual. Me han quitado la pelota, me siento triste” goes down in the history of most epic futbol quotes of all time.  (still haven’t actually been able to watch this because no one has uploaded it anywhere)  What else...............Am i forgetting anything? i celebrated my birthday with @tender-vittles in epic fashion after two years of Not doing that, and turned 32 going on 15.  enjoyed my first-ever “x reader” fic (zlatko dalic x reader LOL) and finished “drive your plow over the bones of the dead” which was real fucking good. i saw hozier live and it was a religious experience and i unexpectedly cried during nina cried power and then called myself “Luka B” when ordering at the classy taco bell across the street after getting a glimpse of alexxx ryan in the flesh. (fav music)

now it’s december and my seasonal depression is a little worse than it’s been the past few years but i’m managing.  still shipping and writing and i just got called out about ivan again last week.  i’m 2 for 2 here!  el clásico was boring but also it was gay and my heart my heart my heart ! Anything could happen in the last 10 days of this year and honestly...I’m pretty sure I’m ready.

Most importantly this year, despite it being not that great in a lot of ways, I developed a lot more self confidence, made many important realizations, and became a lot more peaceful (despite how this post makes me sound) and wiser and less bitter and pessimistic.  And i became outspoken enough about antisemitism on the left to lose friends over it...3 for 3.  i can’t say i’m displeased with these developments.

Hasta 2020! <3

“On lessons of Trust and Choosing Jewelry”

RobStar Week Day 7: Jewels

A/N: ahhhh last day! The prompts were really fun and I can't believe how alive and supportive the community is on Tumblr, like, what the heck guys this show finished more than a decade ago this is awesome.

By the way, I've been getting some really nice comments throughout RobStar Week. Thank you! Seriously. It really does mean a lot. Sometimes I feel like I'm publishing things into a big black void and it's just comforting to know someone's actually on board and having fun with me. Glad to have found this community!

[also shoutout to @robstartrash and @samdraws715 because I piggy-backed off the photobooth scene in their Collab for Blush. Thanks for the inspo guys :3]

ao3 version

ff.net version

Summary:

Robin gains perspective on things at the Jump City Mall.

…

...

It all started in the morning at Santangelo's Jewelers inside Jump City Mall after a personal invite from Antonio Santangelo himself, who had offered each team member a complimentary choice of jewelry as a token of thanks; the Titans had stopped a diamond heist for the sixth time that year (like, really, HIVE?). There was a budget, of course, but still Robin couldn't shake off the feeling that the generosity was too much.

"You sure you can afford Beast Boy's style?" Robin joked to Santangelo as they watched the green team member gawk into a glass case.

"Well, what's his style?"

"Whatever it is, he's gonna walk out of here top-heavy."

The store owner laughed as Beast Boy's eyes lit up at a massive gold chain.

Robin had been practical with his choice; he adjusted the silver diver's watch on his wrist, waiting for the rest of his team to make their decisions. At the back of the store, Raven was turning the onyx ring around her finger, bored out of her mind, but resting a hand on Cyborg's shoulder in moral support as an employee hovered over his ear with a cocked piercing gun. Near the front, Starfire had a jade bracelet in her hand, staring at a collection of ruby necklaces in a mild state of dismay.

"Star? Are you okay?"

"I am fine! It's just that these jewels remind me of the great firefalls of Tyrus Three. They're beautiful."

"So get them."

"But is it not customary on earth for your jewelry to match the color of your eyes?"

From where they were scattered throughout the store, all four Titans turned to look at their alien teammate.

"Who told you that?"

She stammered. "I-I assumed? Because of what my sister had told me? And because of the romance movies where the love interest tells the protagonist 'I got these for you my love because they match your eyes' and—"

Starfire looked around to see an array of different expressions on her friends' faces.

"...I thought it was proper decorum."

…

...

It was a running joke by the time all the Titans were finished and their gifts were being secured in their appropriate boxes. Beast Boy and Cyborg didn't waste any time to throw it in Starfire's face.

"A'ight, it's time for it to go down at the food court. I'm starving."

"But remember, Cy. You can only eat foods that are made of metal and have cybernetic controls."

"Man, it looks like it's gonna be all salads for you."

"The joke is not that funny, friends," Starfire said in frustration.

It actually was, but Robin felt the responsibility as the team leader (and the boyfriend) to speak up and warn the guys about ending it there. Raven remained neutral throughout the whole exchange, but as they all stepped out of Santangelo's and into the rest of the mall, Raven turned to Robin with a look, and pointed at a watch showcased behind the glass.

It was the exact same model as the one he had just picked out, except for it's gleaming blue face and the single insets of sapphires at the 12, 3, 6, and 9.

"You sure you don't want this one?" She said quietly.

Tokyo had just been a few months ago. There were changes in the horizon, and he had every intention to tell them soon, but Robin had still not shared his identity to the rest of the team. And he didn't really know why—probably trust issues, or control issues; for some reason Robin was taking his time.

Only Raven had met "Dick Grayson," (kind of), courtesy of the night she jumped into his mind. It meant she knew a lot more than the two of them let on. Raven was sworn to secrecy about Bruce Wayne and Barbara Gordon and Donna Troy and everything about the things he left behind. She knew Dick Grayson at great lengths and with acute detail. Even the seemingly meaningless stuff.

Say, for instance, the color of his eyes.

The upward turn of Raven's mouth was subtle, and Robin cracked a grin at her: Haha, very funny. Beast Boy and Cyborg were already ahead of them, making a beeline to their favorite taco station, completely unaware of Raven's contribution to their joke.

But when Robin turned to grab Starfire's hand, he was surprised to see she had been watching them intently.

…

…

Starfire pulled Robin out of the seat the moment he was finished with his cheese fries and tossed back a very bland please excuse us, friends to the table before leading him out of the food court.

"Uh, Star? What's going on?"

"Hm? Oh, nothing is going on. I am simply interested in taking a gentle stroll with my boyfriend," she said as she pushed him violently through crowds of people like a bulldozer. Starfire had the subtleties of a tornado, which was even more apparent with her very poor performance of someone who had just happened to notice a photo booth at the East Wing of the mall (the same photo booth she had been pointing out to the team for months).

"Three or four shots?" He asked her when they slid inside.

"Four."

The countdown between each flash of light was fast, and it was all victory signs and silly faces and easy smiles, but somewhere between the third shot and the fourth, Starfire leaned in to kiss his cheek as the last pose, her hand cupping his chin towards her.

Three—

Two—

"Robin."

She tugged on the domino mask just in time.

…

…

Robin scrambled to get his mask back on, speechless, wading through a dozen emotions, not really knowing how he felt about what Starfire had just done. Was he angry at her? Was he frightened? This was a breach of trust, wasn't it? Did he find it endearing or funny?

Starfire had already exited the booth, ready to catch the photo as it was being dispensed. And Robin stepped out to see his girlfriend staring at the bottom of the printed strip in wonder:

Starfire with a look of determination. And Robin, mouth parted in protest and wide sapphire eyes.

"Apologies," she said quietly, still staring at the photo. "Sometimes it is a task to be dating someone you know so little about. And it is not about a lack of feelings, or because I do not trust you. It is because I fear you do not trust me."

Starfire looked up, locking her discernible eyes with Robin's hidden ones. "That kind of fear can eat at a person over time."

She seemed to say the magic words that made it all click in his mind. Trust goes both ways, doesn't it?

There was a booming voice crescendoing from the East wing, and over her shoulder Robin saw their three friends approaching quickly from the distance, shopping bags in tow. He watched as Starfire took a glance back at them before carefully ripping off the last photo on its perforated line and tucking it into her gauntlet. She looked at him with a knowing smile and saw something he had never witnessed before—a Starfire wink.

"Did I do that correctly?"

The rest of the Titans poured into both of their spaces and Cyborg draped his arm over Starfire's shoulders while Beast Boy came around to elbow at Robin’s side.

"We knew we were gonna find you two here. Alright, now let's see those official couple photos—"

She handed Cyborg the strip with nothing to hide. Maybe Starfire could do subtle after all.

Robin smiled back.

…

…

An amazing story to share

As many of you know, I attended Denver Pop Culture Con this weekend and thanks to the couple of you who somehow recognized me and asked for a photo! But I wanna share your this sweet story:

So Pop Culture con didn’t exactly go as planned. Long story short, they sold all autographs for Matt Mercer and the Critial Rile crew online and Matt’s sold out very fast. So I quickly jumped to get the photo opp and thank god I bought mine back on May 3. So my photo opp was scheduled for today, the final day of the con. Well there was a bit of a snag that happened: a flat tire. I got a flat tire last night and had to take care of that this morning. It’s all fixed now but getting to the con today was almost something that didn’t happen. Needless to say, I was a bit emotional over the fact I might have to miss meeting Matt. But sister came to my rescue and happily took me. Yet one other snag: her little pupper I had to sit in the back with. Well that little pupper is car sick and threw up all over me so I had to run back home to shower and get a clean change of clothes. And then after much delay, I made to downtown Denver just in time for the photo opp with Matt. Now I was highly emotional because the night before I was up late trying to finish that drawing and figuring out how the hell I am gonna get my car in. So my eyes were very puffy and I was very emotional. But Matt was a sweetie, gave me a hug and made my fucking day. My friend and I then went to lunch at McDonald’s and my drink spilled all over the table and on me. Left with sticky hands and pants and walked in the rain back to the convention. Thought I got lucky again when I heard from one of the staff that they were doing an overflow/standby line for those who weren’t able to by the autographs online. I hopped in, praying I would. (Shoutout to @c05m1c-w0lf for chatting with me the whole time) But I got turned away but was able to jump into Travis Willingham’s line and got his autograph. I was fanning my face as to not cry more than I already had. Travis game around to hug me and talk with me for a bit. I just explained the day I was having and he apologized for my very shitty day and said that he hoped it got better. I left, feeling somewhat defeated until I feel a tap on my shoulder. Now I had been talk to this really sweet guy in the standby line for Matt. We introduced ourselves and talked about our favorite roles Matt does. Then we chatted about our day so far and I shared my so far shitty day, saying that it would all be better if I just got Matt’s autograph. I had brough my copy of RE6 for him to hopefully sign. Well this guy had been behind me in the line and I had just jumped out to go get Travis’s autograph when the con volunteers had told us it wasn’t going to happen and to get an autograph from Matt and leave the con. But he had managed to get into Matt’s line and was allowed to jump out for a sec to talk to me. He asked me if I had money for Matt’s autograph but I sadly didn’t. I had spent my last $30 on Travis as I had to pay to fix my car. So this beautiful human, Sam I believe his name was told me to hug him, where he took my copy of RE6, got back in line, and handed it back to me. I told him that I couldn’t pay him back for it and he just said not to worry about it. Like I can’t believe this seemingly stranger did this for me. I was crying tears of joy and I seriously cannot thank this man so much for his amazing gesture. Like I just can’t believe this happened... Seriously I can’t thank this man enough ~Admin Mae

rangerstop day one

ALSO KNOWN AS: BITCH EVERY POWER RANGER REMEMBERED US FROM MORPHICON (except selwyn. but hes still valid.)

so we avoided the megaforce rangers all day bc we wanted to surprise them at our photo op so for most of the con we wandered around looking at art and toys and bought so much shit oh my god there are so many talented artists here one lady was selling POTTED CLAY DOLLS and i almost bought a kat doll but. restraint. because i spent $80 at ceevee’s table and i still want more from him (he also remembered me from morphicon I LOVE POWER RANGERS YOU GUYS. I LOVE POWER RANGERS SO MUCH. I DONT HAVE ANY MORE ROOM ON MY WALL FOR THESE PRINTS BUT IM GONNA FUCKING MAKE ROOM.)

FIRST UP mike ginn because i got ceevee’s huge rpm gold and silver prints to get signed by them and the minute i got up to his table he was like “oh hi didn’t i see you at morphicon” and i was like YES and he was like “and weren’t there a bunch of you” and i was like YEAH LOOK ITS MY FRIENDS and he was like “and one of them was like super shy” because at pmc abbey had told him that our friend tabby loved him but was shy so he called her “shy tabby” and we all pointed at tabby who was trying to hide from him and we were all laughing and he just pointed at her for a minute to tease her and then he walked around his table and got behind her and pretended he was gonna jump at her it was so FUNNY AND CUTE HE LOVES HER HES THE CUTEST and he wanted us all to be in the pic i bought and i mean who am i to say no to mike ginn, the greatest gold ranger of all time

SECOND well li ming was busy (bc she’s a LEGENDARY RANGER BITCH WE STAN THE QUEEN OF RPM) so we turned around and jessica rey was there and SHE WAS LIKE “DIDNT I MEET YOU GUYS AT MORPHICON” because we talked to her for like literally 20 minutes at pmc just shittalking jdf and we were like HELL YEAH ugh she’s the cutest and we again talked to her for like 20 minutes (no shittalking this time) about what we loved about wild force and she was telling us about the alyssa’s father episode bc duh thats our fave and how the actor who played her father was like a famous actor but she knew him bc he was the real dad of one of the PAs and she didnt know he was famous and it was so cute shes so cute and tabby bought a white tiger hat from her (and a bunch of other things BUT THE HATS WERE HAND-CROCHETED THEYRE SO CUTE) and she was telling us just like. shit that happened in her day. and we LOVE her shes so great. AND THEN while we were talking to jessica, ann marie crouch came back bc they’re sharing a booth!! and she was dressed in her princess shayla outfit!! so kat and ben started talking to her god shes so nice and beautiful and she was selling little christmas ornaments of her flowers from her headband they’re so pretty and i told her “wild force rangers are ON POINT with the merch bc everyone else just has headshots” and she was like omg did you hear that w/ her handler and they high-fived (bc her handler made the ornaments) AND THEYRE SO CUTE. JESSICA TOLD US TO COME BACK SO WE WILL bc we have more things to get signed by them. she was also wearing a white tiger wild force hoodie she looked so cute.

THIRD then li ming was free and ofc i had to get her to sign my rpm silver print and shes SO NICE AND PRETTY AND she asked us what the japanese on the print said and we were like “it says you’re the best rpm ranger” and that gem’s said “my sister is cooler than me” and she laughed and we told her how much we loved her in the anniversary and how she was the strongest and most powerful rpm ranger and how she was the REAL LEADER gosh i love her and then we took my photo and SHE LET ME HOLD HER RPM TOY GUN THING i love herrr

FOURTH oh god okay so abbey couldnt be here but we wanted to get her shit so we went to sean cw johnson’s table bc duh and sapphire steph (of sapphire management, she handles like. a lot of rangers. SHES SO COOL) was handling him and we were talking to her and kat facetimed abbey to show her all of sean’s merch and he had these little coins that we got for abbey and asked if he could sign them and we were just talking to steph i dont even know about what i love her and abbey was on the phone and we were like telling them that she loves lightspeed thats why we’re facetiming and SEAN ASKED TO FACETIME HER AND SAY HI bc she was right there and also i showed him  and steph abbey’s little carter art of “get in losers we’re going demon hunting” and they both LOVED IT and then he was like “wait ive seen this art before” and i was like “yeah bc you fucking replied to my tweet about how dino charge is better than lightspeed” and he was like “oh yes i do remember that you said it was worse than watching paint dry and you wanted to gouge your eyes out with a spoon” and i was like I DIDNT SAY THAT I WASNT THAT MEAN (i was pretty mean, im so sorry sean i love you) im not gonna link the tweet bc I CANT BELIEVE HE FUCKING REPLIED TO IT AND REMEMBERED bc he was like “i’m not even on social media” and i was like “well you popped up in my notifs soooo” and he was like “no i respect your opinion even if you’re wrong” lmao and he asked what i didnt like about it and obviously i couldnt say “too many white people” to his face so i said i watched 20 episodes it was boring and we HATED captain mitchell bc we hate shitty mentors and we only love rangers and he was like “okay that’s fair” and i was like “and i didnt like that carter had this whole hero worship thing of captain mitchell when he was a shitty dad and like... is this your king???” (i literally said that why am i like this) and he was like “oh well he was kind of my king” and steph was cracking up at the black panther reference she was like “you guys are a hoot” oh and then we got him to do a video shout out where he says abbeys fave line “freeze missiles? sounds cool” and we were like DO IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT, YOURE AN ACTOR so he pretended to get in character and it was so cute and he told me also “i respect that you’re not fake and you stand by your opinions” and i was like ya cuz lightspeed sucks (no i didnt say that) cuz he was like “some people will be like ‘time force is overrated’ and then go up to michael copon (his booth was behind us) and be like ‘oh i’m a huge fan’” and we were like oh we’d never do that and he loved us even though i was so mean to him IM SORRY SEAN I WILL BUY SOMETHING FROM YOU TOMORROW as we were leaving he said to me “tomorrow you can be fake its fine” hes literally like. so cool. and also handsome. but lightspeed is still boring im sorry.

FIFTH we were wandering around again looking at toys and shit and tabby and ben wanted dino bite cafe shirts so we went to marvels by mossers which was right next to brennan and the sudarso brothers and we started talking to the guy there (aiden, not mosser) about, you know, the stuff they were selling and whatnot he’s so cool like they’re all so cool we talked for ages?? bc tabby had to go to the atm to get money and she took forever so we were just standing around saving her spot in line and aiden asked us like how we became friends when we’re all from different states and we told him we met online bc we love power rangers and we met up at morphicon and loved it so much we came to rangerstop and he was like oh thats so cool (this will be important later ok) anyway im just saying WE HAVE SO MUCH FUN JUST TALKING TO PEOPLE LIKE JUST. JUST TALK TO THEM. EVEN IF THEY’RE NOT POWER RANGERS. like this guy wasnt even a pr fan but he was so chill anyway i love everyone in this bar.

then we went out to eat but got distracted by gazbot’s booth of his HELLA COOL PRINTS and we bought abbey a balance print and an alpha print and kat bought all the six megaforce rangers and tbh tomorrow im gonna go back and get ninja steel blue BECAUSE while this was happening peter texted me “saw you and said hi but you seemed busy haha” becAUSE i did not stop to say hi to him (because he had a line!) while we were by marvels for mossers anyway i felt bad but we were hungry so went out to the food trucks and we saw two ranger actors whom we will not name come out to smoke together which was HILARIOUS (we love them anyway its ok) and THEN

SIXTH we came back inside bc i wanted brennan to sign my dino charge red print that i got from ceevee (also a shoutout to his handler who is really cool and talked to us and just. guys. i love everyone. i love EVERYONE.) and hes sooooo pretty god and his handwriting is so cute it looks like a child bc he’s left-handed and i asked him why the other dino charge rangers werent there and he was like “well davi’s filming and michael and camille dont really do cons” lmao and i told him i went to school w/ michael and camille and he was like “oh cool my sister-in-law went to that school” when i told him what university it was anyway hes just so pretty. im blanking on most of our conversation. then ben talked to him bc they’re both left-handed and reminded him that he instagrammed ben’s art and they message on insta and it was very cute #bennan for life bitches he also signed ben’s dino charge hat

SEVENTH so you know yoshi and peter are right next to brennan so i was with taylor (@ crossbuild on twitter, rocking the ryuga banjou cosplay) and she wanted to meet the sudarsos so we went over to say hi and peter came over and hugged me and we talked and he was like “since i dyed my hair blonde ive gotten like three more roles” and i was like “blonde privilege” (he looked. surprisingly good with it.) and he was telling me that he and yoshi are playing monkey demigod brothers?? or something and that’s why they both dyed their hair blonde and we also talked about kamen rider (bc taylor mentioned it) and he said he wants to watch wizard and i was like YES WATCH WIZARD ITS MY FAVE and he was like “everyone says bad things about it!” and i was like FUCK THEM JUST BECAUSE ITS SLOW-PACED and he was like “no you know i love slow pace” and i was like yes its very episodic but its SO GOOD THE CHARACTERS ARE SO GOOD they just had an issue w/ the lead actress being an idol and he was like “oh well so is lupinyellow” and i was like DO YOU ACTUALLY WATCH LUPATO bc he does keep up w/ sentai but hes always behind and he was like “dont spoil me im three eps behind” and i was like “well thats pretty good for you and also nothing happens in lupato” and he was so offended on its behalf and i was like “name one thing thats happened peter” and he was like “uh gold showed up???” and i was like “that happens every season” but then i was like “dont get me wrong i love lupato its my fave show of all time” (because it absolutely fucking is) and he was like “i thought so i was so confused” lmao (bc like. im always tweeting about how much i love lupato.) anyway yeah i asked him which kamen riders he’d watched and he was like “you know this pearl” which i did i just enjoy pretending i dont know anything about him. watch wizard y’all. and meanwhile, while i was talking to peter, ben and the others were meeting yoshi and ben was getting his dino charge dvd signed and he gave yoshi his art of koda WHICH YOSHI LOVED and ben was gonna pay $30 for the autograph but yoshi was like “no take it back” and he was like “you’re not gonna sell th dvd right” and ben was like “no i’m keeping it forever” and he was like “ya then you’re not paying for it” bc he LOVED THE ART AND HE LOVES BEN AND US hes so handsome irl like fuck man. who allowed dino charge rangers to exist in the mortal realm. he also gave me and ben cheetos later (he offered them to everyone, we were the only ones who accepted. i love hot cheetos.) 

EIGHTH we went to the alphas to get the alpha print signed for abbey and first of all, david fielding’s (zordon) handler was there (david wasnt there) and we were talknig to him and he was like oh im a HUGE power rangers fan i have boxes in my basement full of old power rangers toys and we were like “oh big mood” he was cool too man everyone is so cool i just love. to talk to them. and kat was getting the alpha print signed by romy and she was SO SWEET and we told her how much abbey loved alpha and went to search her art on twitter to show her and she LOVED ALL OF IT she was so sweet her handler was so sweet too and then we went to peta’s booth AND SHE HAD ALPHA GAY PRIDE SHIRTS AND STICKERS so we’re gonna buy those for abbey tomorrow

after that we were hanging around the nearby toy booth avoiding the megaforce rangers who were RIGHT next to the alphas (all together bc they’re codependent losers and we love them) and AIDEN FROM MARVELS BY MOSSER CAME OVER WITH A DINO CHARGE IRON-ON PATCH AND JUST SHOVED IT IN BENS HAND AND SAID “i want you to have this for free because i loved talking to you guys and you deserve it and i love when people meet like you guys did” bc of our little story of how we became online friends and met up and love each other and LIKE. BEN WAS ABOUT TO CRY. I LOVE US AND EVERYONE AT THIS CON. 

NINTH so we went back across the room to the sudarsos bc ben wanted to give peter his preston and marv art so i was like “we have something for you” and shoved ben at him and he LOVED THE ART (of course bc ben’s art is amazing) and was like “i’ve seen this on twitter dont i follow you” and ben was like noo you dont and i was like “no, i just retweet ben all the time so hes on your timeline anyway” AND THEN HE PULLED OUT HIS PHONE AND FOLLOWED BEN IN FRONT OF US and then also later he took a SELFIE w/ the three pieces ben gave him and tweeted about finally getting to meet this amazing artist and @-ed ben and it currently has like 100 likes so ya ben’s famous now go follow him @brodyromero 

AND THEN FOR THE MAIN EVENT THE MEGAFORCE PHOTO OP THAT WE BOUGHT AND WANTED TO SURPRISE THEM TONIGHT AND we also went to walmart earlier and got rainbow cupcakes for them and a candle that says 5 to celebrate their 5th anniversary bc we are that extra. side note, there was an ADORABLE little boy in line behind us in a pink mmpr diamonds t-shirt and he was freaking out at everyone and saw a blue ninja steel cosplayer and went OH MY GOD ITS NINJA STEEL BLUE and he was the only valid fan at the entire con and we let him cut in front of us (well we let everyone cut bc we wanted to be the last people in bc we are dramatique)

TENTH THE MEGAFORCE RANGERS so like the whole day we’ve been stressing “what if they dont remember us what if they dont care what if they dont” and then we entered and the literal second they saw us it was like. azim’s WHOLE FACE LIT UP AND HE WENT “OH MY GOD YOU GUYS CAME ITS MY GIRLS” (cuz remember we’re #azimsangels as per his hashtag) and HUGGED US ALL IMMEDIATELY oh hes such a good hugger and they saw our cupcakes and we were like “its for you for your fifth anniversary!” and they were so happy and surprised and ciara was like so jumpy and she like hugged us all SO BIG SHES SO CUUUUUTE they are all so fucking cute cameron remembered us too and came to give us hugs and kat got pity hugs from christina and john mark, the dignified ones (they were very nice, its just everyone else was clearly high and super jumpy and SO HAPPY TO SEE US) and andrew was just there looking gorgeous. sorry i cant say anything about him bc if u look into his eyes u black out and that happens to all of us. idk if he said anything. hes too pretty to exist. and we were like WE CAME TO FLORIDA TO SEE YOU GUYS because we loved meeting you at morphicon so much (which is TRUE we planned this all so last-minute bc we were like. fuck it lets go to fucking rangerstop we wanna see the megacast again.) and god they were so HAPPY. AZIM WAS SO HAPPY. CAMERON HUGGED ME SO TIIIIGHT. azim like crushed us all in a group hug the second he saw us. and then we took the photo and ciara literally just JUMPED into ben and kat and tabby’s laps bc they were sitting on the chairs and i got in the back in the middle of ALL FOUR BOYS like oh my god i cant even look at myself in the picture we got bc i’m surrounded by the literal hottest guys in the world like what the fuck. andrew gray TOUCHED ME. like holy fuck. and christina posed w/ the cupcakes and cameron held the 5 candle and was like “COME ON JOHN LETS BLOW IT OUT” and that was their pose and the rest of us were just cheesin and god its so cuuute im gonna make them all autograph it tomorrow and i also got megaforce red and silver prints from ceevee to get andrew and cameron to sign. and then after the pic christina tried to give us back the cupcakes and we were like NO THEY’RE FOR YOU THEY’RE YOUR BIRTHDAY GIFT and cameron literally started jumping up and down like a little kid he was like “WE GET CUPCAKES” and i was standing next to him so i said “we got rainbow ones so everyone was kind of represented except you sorry” and he looked at me and was like “yeah because nobody cares about silver” and i was like nooo its bc its hard to put silver on frosting and he was like yeah thats true AND THEN as we were leaving and they were like thank you for the cupcakes!! he was like “are there drugs in them” and kat was like “no” and tabby was like “yes” and i said “next time, for your 10 year anniversary” and andrew was like “ten years!” all chill like. i love him. king of red rangers. cameron said “love youuuu” to us as we left. i would quite literally die for all of them.

afterwards we were waiting around to get our reprints and azim came out and stopped to talk to us and we were like “where the fuck is your girlfriend we only came to see her” and he told us she’s flying to london :( and then he was like “are you guys coming tomorrow come hang out at our booths” (we were like “we have shit for you to sign we’re not just gonna loiter” and he was like “no just come hang out”) and he said “i wanna tell you guys the most heartwarming story that’s happened at rangerstop, a four year saga” so he like. REALLY wants us to come back tomorrow like what a cliffhanger that was!!

we also saw catherine and li ming bc the 25th anniversary photo op was right after us they’re so pretty!! im gonna visit catherine tomorrow and get my PINK RANGER W/ DRAGON SHIELD PRINT SIGNED BY HER ugh ceevee’s art is literally so amazing bitch. fuck. and then steve was also there and tabby was like “we love you steve!” (she said that for every actor that passed us but nobody heard her EXCEPT STEVE) and he stopped and turned back and was like HEY GUYS, love him. AND THEN SELWYN ALSO SHOWED UP FOR THE PHOTO OP and then on our way out of the photo op hallway he was ahead of us getting water in the hotel lobby so we stopped and said hi and introduced ourselves and i was like “we met you at morphicon” and he was like hmm (he was the only one who didnt rmr us at all clearly BUT HES STILL SO VALID. I LOVE YOU SELWYN.) and he was like “why don’t you guys get a picture with me” and we were like “well we’ll be here tomorrow to see you” and he was like “no we gotta do it right now” so he and tabby took a selfie LITERALLY THE CUTEST. HES SO HANDSOME. I LOVE POWER RANGERS.

also psycho red is hot

It’s time for another week of replies. I don’t know what to talk about today, other than I just finished my English homework and kinda hate my English teacher now. But it’s fine.

As you might have noticed, the queue now starts two hours earlier than it used to. That’s because I’ve encountred a wonderful glitch. You might have heard about it. Tumblr basically invented time travel. Posts which were queued to be posted between 9-10 pm CET were sent to the past. Some people suggested turning off the “new post types” or whatever. I did that, but it didn’t help.

This website will never cease to amaze me. Just when you thought you couldn’t be more frustrated...it comes up with something new.

jackssims replied to your photo “Oh hey, long time no replies. And these are the first ones of this...”

@ the reference: it’s to the song “Ironic” by Alanis Morissette! “It’s like rain on your wedding day / It’s a free ride and you’ve already paid” are parts of the chorus

Oh. OH. See I figured it would be a song, I just couldn’t remember for the life of me which one. Now I listened to it and I feel dumb because of course I know this song

In fact, who DOESN’T know this song

myopiccc replied to your photoset “Don’t deny it, Dawn. You like it.”

LOL! She's got me anyway!

Basically

She loves this dork with all her heart

fataleromeo replied to your photoset “Ross: “Happy birthday, Sunset. I have a little gift for you. It’s...”

oooooh love the who reference! ����

jackssims replied to your photoset “Ross: “Happy birthday, Sunset. I have a little gift for you. It’s...”

The Doctor Who reference tho

I had to

simlovinggirl replied to your photoset “My little girl is growing up. She’s going to be an adult. How is that...”

Seriously, where did the time go? I remember when he was a teen just going around kissin' on everyone xD

No joke, I feel the same?? His wild kissing phase happened like half a year ago in my game and it still feels like yesterday

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Wouldn’t it be nice if they could…I don’t know, maybe slow dance...”

Ts3 waited till the Seasons ts4... nobody knows till thenXD

EA please, if you’re reading this...give us slow dance. Please. I don’t care about anything else. I know a lot of people scream for cars. What are cars good for? Give me slow dancing. And cuddling in bed. Just some cute couple animations in general. Please

Btw unrelated but yeah I don’t care about cars and I would be totally fine without them. There I said it. Also if you guys want cars that’s okay, we don’t have to fight about it.

memesplayssims replied to your photoset

i found the posts from my queue 5 days ago on my blog so your posts may be far back on your blog

Mine were sent on a time travel trip to 16th December 2018 lmao. Tumblr, you ain’t the Doctor, please stop.

alfalfalegacy replied to your photo

Heart eyes ������

I knooooow! I took some cute pictures of them today and...I’m dead. All the quads’ couples are so cute what the heck

cafeheart replied to your photoset “Sunset: “I wanted to talk to you about something. I know you told me...”

i thought i loved ross and caleb but boy are these two blowing them out of the water real fukcin quick!!!

I liked the development Ross and Caleb had. Sunset and Dawn got less of it. But that doesn’t mean I love them less. They’re awesome. At the moment in my game, they’re already engaged and...wow I love focusing on them.

cafeheart replied to your photoset “Sunset: “You’re gonna…sit on me? Do you know how these things are...”

jesus christ dawn's face in the second image

Looks like an angel but is actually a devil

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset

They are so cute!

And wait till you see their children

unstablesims replied to your photoset “There’s nothing quite like getting a massage from the older sister of...”

careful or she will break ur neck lmao

God yes that’s highly possible

justkeeponsimming replied to your photo “~ Del Sol Valley”

This screenshot is so pretty!

Del Sol Valley is very pretty. I’d say the lots are a disappointment, but the scenery around is gorgeous.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “~ Del Sol Valley”

Congratulations!

Thanks! Even though I’m not sure if this is something to congratulate me for, I mean I’m just an obsessed sims freak who completed her sims 4 collection :D Shoutout to my grandparents for giving me money for my birthday and shoutout to Origin for having these ridiculous big sales.

Would I sell my soul to EA? I hate to admit it but possibly

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Sunset: “Today is going to be eventful, don’t you think?” Caleb: “It...”

Poor Caleb(

I feel bad for him. Actually bad. I even feel a little bad for not quitting without saving.

melien replied to your post “Okay, I follow you because your sims are amazing, and I think I'm one...”

DON'T NEED MONEY DON'T TAKE FAME

DON’T NEED NO CREDIT CARD TO RIDE THIS TRAIN

melien replied to your photo

������

Ahhh I love Myra so much. She’s the only one who can handle Lydia, let’s be real (god I can’t wait to show their little story!). She deserves an award, just like Sharon (as I said yesterday on the ask).

Hmm, Putting Up with a Dumbass Award sounds like something many of the sims in my game should win. 

melien replied to your photoset “Things I’ve never expected to see: This”

Battle of the bumps

I hate this

melien  replied to your photoset “The baby should be here soon and I’m excited. Even though I didn’t...”

Could you bless my game with some aliens? I never get alien babies like ever

Try naming a sim Caleb, that works, they like Calebs

jackssims replied to your photoset “Do I have to? What’s the point if I’m going to be…you know…young...”

This still works, since you’re still fulfilling the requirements of the gen!

dandylion240 replied to your photoset “Do I have to? What’s the point if I’m going to be…you know…young...”

Works for me XD

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Do I have to? What’s the point if I’m going to be…you know…young...”

It` like reblogging "If you not reblog smth bad happens" and deleting it straight away - still countsXD

That’s exactly what I thought too. Glad we’re on the same page :D And yeah, comparing it to that is pretty accurate, I didn’t even realize. Well, in this case, his “old age” will stay “reblogged” for a bit. But still, it’s basically the same thing!