#shit is getting bad.
Text
after a long meditation I came to the conclusion that I'm giving up on being happy.
I just can't do this anymore. I'm not strong enough to pursue the life I've always dreamed. too many troubles, unnecessary crying, hate speeches...and fear of losing the ppl I love.
I have no money, no job, no food, depression & anxiety is getting worse... so it's easier just to give up on who I am now and become the person that people are expecting to see. I hope I can forgive myself one day.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
"life doesnt get better, you just get stronger" does NOT include ages 11-17. life does in fact just get better from there. those years are dogshit. like, you do get stronger but its mostly just a factor of not being 11-17 anymore. positive thinking helps but it doesnt fix whatevers going on at 15, you have to brute force through that one raw
#i originally posted this as just a 'hey remember how fuckin bad middle/highschool was? shit was wild' type post but now#there are a bunch of teens in the notes being like 'oh my god are you serious? it gets better? im not stuck in hell forever??'#and im reminded that the only people who told teenage ella 'it gets better' were speakers at mental health assemblies#aka the least relatable people alive who were seemingly born to lie to you#so. uh. yeah im a certified adult who isnt here to lie or sugarcoat the realities of being a teenager#the only thing more certain than the pain is the transcience
42K notes
·
View notes
Text
newbie fic authors, shooting themselves in the foot: This fic is bad haha I suck at writing lol I am being mean to myself in the hopes that you will be nice to me but actually am dissuading anyone from even clicking on my fic because all I have done to advertise it is tell you why you shouldn't read it
me: I am King Big Dick of Fanfic Mountain and I have arrived in your fandom with the Express Intention of writing my Very Favorite Fics, which I will generously allow you to read. You're welcome.
#life of ts#writing#fanfic#seriously newbies don't do this#if the fic is really that bad get a beta reader to help you make it unbad#and if it isn't then fake it till you make it and stop shitting on it
10K notes
·
View notes
Text
Do you ever miss a character from a show but not like in the way that you want to rewatch the whole show because theres so much stuff going on and thats not what youre looking for but you miss your boy
#this is about jesse from breaking bad#i miss him :(#but i dont want to rewatch the show cause theres do much bad shit hapening to him#i want to watch another show where he gets to just hang out and chill#mine#breaking bad
17K notes
·
View notes
Text
if i see a single one of you pissed that your faves canceled an event or a con appearance because they're striking for fair wages then imma come for you in your sleep 🔪🔪🔪
(direct that fury where it belongs: AMPTP and the execs)
#sag aftra#sagaftra#sag aftra strong#sag aftra strike#union strong#wga strike#PAY THE FUCKING ACTORS AND WRITERS#i hope the execs lose EVERYTHING#sag strike#sag-aftra#(BY THE WAY I'VE MADE A MINOR EDIT ON THE ORIGINAL POST)#in case you're confused: BE PISSED OFF. BUT DIRECT IT AT AMPTP AND THE EXECS.#if you don't get to see your fave at an event or a con? IT IS NOT THE UNION'S FAULT. IT IS THE FAULT OF THE EXECS#AMPTP AND THE EXECS ARE REFUSINGS TO NEGOTIATE IN GOOD FAITH AND ARE REFUSING TO PAY ACTORS AND WRITERS FAIRLY#SUPPORT THE WGA AND SAG STRIKE#if that means you can't see them at a con? then take the money you were gonna spend on that con and donate it#to the entertainment community fund#DIRECT YOUR ANGER WHERE IT BELONGS#WHICH IS AT AMPTP AND THE GREEDY PIECE OF SHIT EXECS#another edit: i forgot to add alt text which is my bad. I HAVE CORRECTED THAT.
26K notes
·
View notes
Text
He's just a dude, a birthday dude
#święto niepodległości?? nie to urodziny Zoro#zoro#roronoa zoro#I made this instead of working and the deadline is approaching agahshdjfj#must get my shit together#one piece#i like drawing Zoro all wrinkled and scrungly#*wondering if I'm using the word scrungly correctly bcs when I googled there's scrungly but also skrunkly which seems to be different*#i mean he's like idk a disheveled dirt boy#it just feels right to draw him with wrinkles on his face#once again I'm clueless abt chest and arms muscles but I did use refs so maybe it doesn't look too bad#ok i need to go eat sth#my art
7K notes
·
View notes
Text
i genuinely don't care how good a piece of ai generated art or writing looks on the surface. i don't care if it emulates brush strokes and metaphor in a way indistinguishable from those created by a person.
it is not the product of thoughtful creation. it offers no insights into the creator's life or viewpoint. it has no connection to a moment in time or a place or an attitude. it has no perspective. it has no value.
it's empty, it's hollow, and it exists only to generate clicks (and by extension, ad revenue.)
it's just another revolting symptom of the disease that is late stage capitalism, and it fucking sucks.
#''but i just want to use it to--'' don't care! it's shit! stop fucking feeding it!#if you need help generating ideas or jumping off points then join an artist or writer group online#talk to people#make connections#that's what art and writing is supposed to be about in the first place#i'm mad as hell etc.#so goddamn sick and tired of seeing ai shit get passed around on here#it's bad enough in general but every time i see more of it showing up#tagged as fan art or as fic#the angrier i get#heartfelt imperfection in art and writing will always ALWAYS be worth more than the most technically ''perfect'' ai generated image or text#fandom problems#ai generation algorithms die in a fire challenge 2k23#just a heads up that i'm muting this post and will no longer see responses to it#because i'm tired of seeing dogshit takes from jackasses who want to ''debate'' me#there's no debate you're in the wrong on literally every level and you can die mad about it
10K notes
·
View notes
Text
the pool scene
#the locked tomb#tlt#griddlehark#gideon the ninth#harrow the ninth#tlt art#tlt fanart#comic#apologies for how wonky it looks in some parts#um i spent like five days working on this nonstop#well not nonstop i ate a shit ton of pomegranetes or however its spelled during it#but uhm yeah#im not good at drawing backgrounds or anatomy (YET) so hhuhshsu#anyways yah yeepers when will i get to have a homoerotic moment with my former rival/enemy where i get to show them forgiveness and care#gideon wants to kiss harrow on the lips so bad its so fucking funny#harrow is a whole pathetic looking sopping wet kitten and gideon is like ooh yah thats the stuff#anwyas yah#ill post the version without their skull makeup because i like that one more#the skull makeup looks ugly sometimes (BY MY OWN DESIGN!!!! HARROW QUEEN I WILL NEVER DISS YOUR FASHION <4)#ALSO SORRY ABOUT THE PACING BUT DID YOU KNOW THAT DRAWING TWELVE PAGES OF A COMIC CAN MAKE YOU REALLY MESSED UP IN THE HEAD#hatman is in the corner of ym room rn
13K notes
·
View notes
Text
missing someone bad for you
trista mateer / trista mateer / sue zhao / u.k / u.k / clementine von radics / trista mateer
#web weaving#webweaving#on loneliness#on grief#on missing someone#on love#quotes#poetry#text#i miss them so bad it aches! i want to cry in their lap again! i want to tell them about everything! i want the world to stop ending!#i was treated like a dog. i left on my own but i still miss the doghouse in the backyard#it wasn’t much but it was something. i should’ve taken what little i could get. i didn’t know that i would leave and get nothing instead#the decision to eat nothing instead of the scraps on the floor is insane. and now i’ve got nobody and we’ll never talk again#there’s a person with half of my soul walking around and i can’t do shit about it#i forget them for a moment but then i see them in my instagram notifs and i blow up the world
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
having bpd is actual hell on earth cause no one tries to fucking understand you and they write you off as being difficult and too much and they leave and we’re left with this fucking personality disorder that consumes my entire fucking existence and they act like its THEIR inconvenience that IM ill.
#depressing shit#bpd#bpd thoughts#i love drugs#im literally going insane#im losing it#its getting bad again#sorry for being depressing#tw depressing thoughts#bpd vent#fp bpd#actually bpd#bpd problems#actually borderline#borderline personality disorder#borderline thoughts
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
The defintion of hell is knowing a show is incredibly well-received in its first season, but if people don’t become machines churning out tweets, content, and rewatching 24/7, there’s no likelihood it’ll get a chance to tell its whole story. This shit is madness. Shows in different genres shouldn’t have to pit-battle for dominance. First seasons are MEANT to be baselines establishing worlds and characters, not complete storylines. The idea that this golden age of television has turned into “get it done in one or get out” is revolting.
#the sandman#paper girls#some of the hot takes on Twitter are breaking me#‘why don’t we know the whole story? it’s bad writing if you don’t have a complete story in the first season’ girl WHAT since WHEN#how many excellent shows were weak as fuck in S1?? and here we’re getting shows with incredible first seasons fighting for their lives#like fuckin Christ dude the idea of long form storytelling is allowing your story time and space to spread out#otherwise we would only make movies#i am so sick of this edge of my seat fear that any new show I fall in love with will get axed because the higher powers don’t care about art#this has to be a bubble right? this has to pop at some point and go back to shows valued on what they are#and don’t even get me started on creators having to beg for good reviews to balance out review-bombing from shitheads#if every one star review is clearly bigoted from the comments? why is anyone taking them into account??#why is there no way to manage this shit aside from creators being like ‘please help us”’
36K notes
·
View notes
Text
the last thing Hemlock sees before security breach
#twins hug but they're little shits#the whole mt tantiss got a hadache#no way we're getting this scene in S3 so might draw it while I can#crosshair tbb#tech tbb#crosshair#tech#they are twins ur honor#batch twins#the bad batch#tbb#star wars#sw
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
you were raised in comparison.
it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.
you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.
you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.
what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.
it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.
you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.
you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?
a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.
you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.
it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.
something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.
#writeblr#warm up#my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky#i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles#yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help#for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT#and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen#than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say#''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help#i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.''#bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't#actually offer fair support to everyone#we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less.#and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help#bc i DID have it better than other people#and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help.#we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn#instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself
3K notes
·
View notes
Note
happy new year Ego!!! Just wanted to let you know that I absolutely adore your twst fanart and the tags are just an absolute pleasure to read! You are my greatest inspiration for my personal twst art and I just wanted to thank you for your wonderful masterpieces <333 if possible, may I ask what are some of your headcanons for the diasomnia family? If not for diasomnia then any other characters are fine as well!
thank you, and happy new year! 💚💜💚 that is amazing to hear; it's always a little bewildering but super flattering that other people like my silly little doodles so much!
I don't think I really have any really solid headcanons and also canon keeps validating me left and right (FLUFFY DOMESTIC DIAFAM IS REAL). mostly just kind of...impressions and general thoughts, if that makes sense! lately though I've been kind of obsessed with thinking about Lilia's hair, and specifically when/why he ended up cutting it. (l-look, we're bouncing around the timeline and I gotta make decisions about these things when I draw, it's relevant) (I mean I would probably be weirdly fixated on this anyway, but.)
I think I've settled on the idea that he kept it long until he went to NRC, partly because 1) I like drawing The Ponytail, and 2) I think he thought of NRC as a chance to reinvent himself a bit! he gets to go and be a wacky carefree teenager for a few years and have fun! (officially he's there to keep an eye on Son #1, but how much trouble could he get into, really.) so he gave himself a Cool Teen Haircut to go with his fresh new Cool Teen Persona!
also maybe he had some reflection on his hair's troubled past with three kids...
...and had to weigh his vanity versus the fact that he was going off to be around hundreds of kids on a daily basis, and. the choice suddenly seemed obvious.
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers#this is my blog and i'm going to write a million words about lilia and you can't stop me#but anyway i do genuinely get the impression that he's using Pretending to Be a Teenager as a chance to be even sillier than usual#he's a very silly man he's just being EXTRA silly#supported by his recent birthday card where he says he was specifically trying to cast himself as an adorable little brother-type#because he wanted the other students to give him free shit and save him seats and things like that#it worked for about a week before he turned out to be way too good at stuff and everyone just kind of ended up in awe of him instead#and he was like DANGIT. I'VE RUINED IT FOR MYSELF.#(then he and epel went on to talk about their hypothetical vtubersonas because the birthday cards are INSANE but anyway)#i'm bad at headcanons :( sorry!#unless it's dumb things like...what pokemon they would have or whatever#(malleus would have some kind of special fancy-colored dragapult) (but i digress)#i have a hard time putting things into words. just know that i love the grampa bat and his weird kids very much.#my brain is also still kind of fried from the last couple of weeks#i am however starting 2024 off the way i intend to continue it: in deep contemplation of anime hair#(sorry if these look weirdly aliased) (i realized about 3/4 of the way through i was using the wrong brush and i didn't want to restart :U)
2K notes
·
View notes
Note
I need more of needy Bucky who loses control from the feeling of being inside your pussy. I need him to fuck me like a rag doll and to carry me over his shoulder around the house like his personal flesh light.
Fuck, this has always been one of my very favourites to write. I really like to imagine that he struggles to last but he can keep going after he finishes 🙈 it's my lil filthy fantasy
But imagine spending the morning in bed with him. You both wake up around 6am and you spend the first little while just touching and chatting before a couple of hours of sex. Now it's maybe around 11am and after lying there together for a while, you're both in the mood for something to eat.
You pull a robe around you and that's just about as much as you manage before Bucky's scooped you up, carrying you to the kitchen.
"You don't need to carry me everywhere!" You tease, remembering that he'd carried you up the stairs to bed last night too.
"I know. But. Carrying you means. I. Can put you. Exactly. Where. I want you." He peppers kisses over your face and neck, tenderly capturing your bottom lip between his before he sets you up on the kitchen countertop.
There's no point arguing with him so you sit there quite happily. He makes up a quick pancake mix, washes some berries from the fridge, preps the coffee machine and sets the little dining table for the two of you.
Somewhere in between, you got a little distracted, perched on the counter scrolling on your phone. You hadn't noticed the way he's looking at you.
He's so caught up in the little things; the way the light hits your shoulder, the curve of your hips, the way the silhouette of your nipples are visible against the satin robe.
"Look at you, sitting there all sweet like your cunt isn't so fucking full of me."
That's got your attention.
You squirm a little, your body fluttering at how shamelessly vulgar he's being but nothing's stopping you from doing the same.
You spread your legs, exposing the slick mess coating your inner thighs. It's a mixture of your own arousal and Bucky's cum, dripping out of your sensitive cunt.
Your fingertips trail lazily over your exposed sex, your skin glistening in the natural light before you bring your fingers to your own lips, sucking them clean, giving him a little bit of a show.
"Tastes amazing, sweetheart." You groan, noticing the growing bulge in his thin pyjama bottoms. "But I lost track of how many times you came inside me this morning. You came so deep, most of your cum won't have dripped out yet. Bet I'm still totally stuffed full."
He sinks to his knees in no time, settling his head between your thighs, breathing in the faint smell of your arousal. His tongue presses flat to your sex, trailing from your hole to your clit and back, gathering as much of your combined release as possible.
He groans, low and pathetic, allowing his tongue to dip inside you as deep as he can bury it. He savours every drop of cum he earns back from your body.
When his tongue alone isn't enough, he slips a finger into you, followed quickly by a second, curling them against your sensitive inner wall.
"Bucky baby, please don't make me cum again." You groan, your fingers tangled in his dark hair but you know he's not giving you that choice. Not when his free hand is furiously stroking his own cock, desperate to ensure that when he's finished licking his cum out of you, he can flood your cunt with another load.
#asks answered <3#becca writes spice#anon#needy!bucky#bucky barnes x reader smut#bucky barnes smut#I've gotten so into Scandal again recently#I'm so so so into Mellie#holy shit that woman is stunning#I'd be so tempted to write some shamelessly filthy Mellie x reader#I like Fitz too but just imagine THE COMPETITION#right no I actually HATE picking a colour for a pedi#I get a gel pedi every few weeks and I really need colour suggestions#Last time I got a sparkly red#the time before I got white with a pearly kind of shimmer on top#I've liked both but I'm so bad at picking a colour#I know neons are usually safe in summer but I don't think I'd like neons on me#open to any other suggestions tbh
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
508674490205402479706314796864630680869369077811119428391436709549024497908162273368108540422084022079569335651244898
#this is pretty good if you ignore all the parts that are bad#anyway i hope you like double encryption i'm starting to get into it more <- normal sentence for normal people to say#something something tim begins to distort more the more distressed he gets or some shit idk brother i just work here#i was being forced to watch the room while i drew the majority of this if you want an idea of my mental state during the Artistic Process#my art#art#illustration#marble hornets#marble hornets fanart#mh#tim marble hornets#tim wright#i'm Not tagging all of them that is so much#eyestrain cw
1K notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
dandelionsuntea
Dandelion Sun Tea
dexter-erotoph
YOU ARE EVERYTHING
xxftdtg29835
석문면출장마사지
simsimmerss
SimSimmerss
simsimmerss
SimSimmerss