#she literally has zero empathy i understand it now | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

genericpuff · 3 months

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Honestly it’s getting tiring seeing the sobbing chronically of the cast ; Hera , Demeter, Persephone and probably more . Like it’s giving big baby cry cry energy instead of idk something proactive. Not sure if It’s just me getting that from the latest chapters???

I have two schools of thought on this.

On the one hand, I can fully understand wanting to show the vulnerability of these characters, to not send a message that emotions are bad and that people should just "toughen up". This is trying to be a "feminist" piece of work after all, and much of feminism preaches vulnerability and empathy and allowing oneself to get back in touch with their own emotions, rather than shutting themselves away from them which is often perpetuated by the societal expectations and norms of toxic masculinity.

Persephone crying as she confronts Apollo - the man who she now understands assaulted her - is understandable and real. A reasonable reaction to an emotional situation that many people can empathize with.

Hera crying as she reveals the true extent of the damage Kronos caused her is understandable and real. He's quite literally been stalking her in the recesses of her mind and it's reaching a breaking point.

But on the other hand, there's a difference between wanting to show a character showing their emotions and then learning to overcome the challenges they've presented with - whether they do it independently or learn to trust in others to help them - thus growing in the process and coming out stronger on the other side vs. using a character purely for torture porn. As much as we preach concepts like "normalize crying" in a very simplified way for the sake of being easily understood, such simplifications often result in a lack of nuance.

An entirely other subject to use as a comparison point to explain this nuance - it's like the difference between having a character who's become so jaded and disconnected from the concept of empathy that even murder becomes just a menial task to them vs. murderhobos. Murderhobos are not interesting or complex or empathetic or relatable, they're just written (and in the case of where the term comes from - Dungeons & Dragons - played) for the sole purpose of having an edgy uncaring character who thinks they're free from consequences while they fuck up the lives of everyone around them in a completely irredeemable way (and is often protected from such consequences due to plot armor, unless it's in D&D, in which case you'll likely be politely asked to either change your character for the sake of the campaign or leave.)

There's nothing to gain or learn from murderhobos. They only exist for the satisfaction of an ego complex - "I don't care what you want or how it affects the people around me, I want to kill people without consequences because that's as creative as my imagination can get in my own personal fantasy."

There's nothing to gain or grow from anymore when we get another scene of Hera bleeding mascara as she cries over her situation with Kronos while still refusing to actually tell anyone what's going on with Kronos, despite the fact that we had an entire fucking therapy speak episode where she realized she needed help. So it feels like it's purely there just to play on the trope of "sad woman is saaaad, won't anyone help herrrr?" which is really starting to learn into learned helplessness.

This is especially apparent with Persephone, who, upon causing a massive problem for everyone, has taken it upon herself to shut herself away while her loved ones deal with the problem. If she needs the time to cry and process what's going on, that's fine. But while that's happening, we know mortals are dying and that she's turning the situation into a learned helplessness pity party of "I'm a monsterrr and no one likes meeee :((((" while having zero self-awareness that yeah, she did cause this problem, and her locking herself away in her literal mansion isn't exactly going to help the situation.

I've already used Tamberlane as an example of approaching the subject of learned helplessness and how it's fundamentally different from simply being vulnerable and having emotions, but I'm gonna share it again here because it's really relevant and Persephone needs someone to give her this same wake-up call.

Considering Demeter was the one to approach her at the end of the last episode, I'm hoping she'll be the one to broach the topic with her, but judging by how Rachel's treated it so far with every character reassuring her with empty platitudes that accomplish nothing but comforting Persephone over something she caused like "Noooo you're not a monster, you're the best queen ever and you're trying her best!!" (and the fact that Rachel has spent so much time turning Demeter into public enemy #1 that her readers still can't fucking give her any shred of empathy even after finding out she lost a child, fucking yikes) I'm not holding my breath that this week's episode is gonna actually have that same level of emotional maturity or growth. This is the second time in the entire comic we've seen Persephone suffer the consequences of her actions out of many that have been harmful, some accidental, others very intentional (which Rachel has even supported her doing in a very unironic sense, it's safe to say Rachel really truly does believe that Persephone is entitled to abuse people). And judging by how things went the first time, it's hard to have the benefit of the doubt and assume Persephone is gonna actually take accountability and learn and grow from this. She didn't the last time and her character has only devolved since.

Sure, feeling like you've fucked up to such a monumental degree that you'll never be able to show your face in public again is something that's real and relatable and worth crying over... but crying is an emotional response, not the actual solution. It is a PART of expressing and processing emotions, but ultimately those emotions are not actions, just REactions. Crying is okay, crying is a normal response to grief and sadness, but if you don't actually take steps forward and continue to wallow in the sadness, blame everyone else around you for it, and simultaneously rely on everyone else to carry the burden of your own actions for you, then that's when it exits the realm of healthy emotional processing and broaches the unhealthy realm of learned helplessness and emotional manipulation.

If anything, her entire monologue in the last FP episode was more about Rachel being upset over criticism of her comic and her self-insert that, like Persephone's deal with Erebus and the "plague" that followed, she earned over not addressing the issues in her work sooner and instead choosing to double down - both through Persephone's abusive behavior within the narrative and Rachel's passive aggressive meta-commentary on that abuse being okay because "she's earned the right to lash out".

The only people in this entire comic who have "earned the right to lash out" are the women that Rachel has villainized along the way in the pursuit of giving her self-insert everything without effort or sacrifice. And even then those people would still have to rightfully answer for their wrongs and grow from them - because there is no right to abuse, there is no right to harming others, especially not if the "others" you're harming are people who were victims in their own right that you turned into imaginary enemies so you could have someone to punch down at in the absence of a spine to stand up for yourself against the real perpetrators. And in doing so, Persephone herself has become a perpetrator, who sheds crocodile tears that no one is buying because the writing is on the fucking wall.

#lore olympus critical #anti lore olympus #lo critical #ask me anything #ama #anon ask me anything #anon ama

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evilwickedme · 1 year

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Do you have autism headcanons for the Bats? Or any superhero really

Oh my god absolutely! But also I did misread this and started talking about all my superhero headcanons so now I have all these headcanons and nowhere to put them lmao

The gimme is Tim. Look me in the eye and tell me he doesn't have autistic swag, I dare you. That boy pulls BECAUSE of his autism. You just know the hyperfocus is strong with this one. He gets into a case and learns everything there is to know about it. He'll talk your ear off about photography and you won't even mind because it's the most animated you've seen him in a solid like six weeks. His sense of humor is also so fucking weird. If you're close friends with an autistic person you know exactly what I mean. We're the funniest people on earth but if you don't know the exact thing we're referencing it makes zero sense. That's okay, we know we're funny. The rest of the world is weird for always reacting strangely to our jokes is all. Also he gets migraines when he gets sensory overload

Bruce also has autistic swag, but his just makes him awkward. He's less likely to hyperfocus accidentally, but you betcha detective work IS his special interest. y'all seen elementary? He's like that version of Sherlock, he's just made it his business to know everything there is to know about Being Batman. His social skills are in the pits, but his masking game is strong - you think Tim's awkward around people, but if Bruce were to unmask he'd just become a shut in. The Brucie personality IS masking fight me

Damian is also autistic and the pickiest eater you'll ever meet. Do you know what's it like being a picky eater AND a vegetarian? Cause I do and it very simply means you never have anything to eat when you're not at home. His list of safe foods is short and consists mostly of middle eastern food. His social skills are as bad as his father but he simply never learned to mask and doesn't understand the point. He gets easily overwhelmed by Bad Textures, whether food or clothing, and (like me) the ensuing meltdown looks like extreme anger. Poor kid simply never learned to regulate his emotions :/

Also not what you asked but you'll pry bipolar!Jason and ADHD!Dick from my cold dead hands

As for other heroes it REALLY depends on how he's written but Peter Parker being autistic is absolutely a consideration. In every iteration ever he has GAD, but there are absolutely versions of him that Need To Be Squished Under A Weighted Blanket Right Now. He manages to channel his hyperfocus energy into experiments and his hyper empathy is exactly what would make him a great teacher and mentor to other heroes LET HIM SETTLE DOWN MARVEL STOP RUINING HIS HAPPINESS (@stackthedeck has SEVERAL rants on the subject and he's so right for that)

Reed Richards is currently being written as autistic by Ryan North, I don't even need to explain this one

Not technically a superhero but arguably superhero media, I hc Willow Rosenberg from Buffy as autistic. She's had multiple SpIns and hyperfixations in her life, but computers and magic are her longest standing ones. I honestly think a lot of Willow's insecurities about how people perceive her can easily be read as her learning to mask but being frustrated that she's not being her authentic self

Well that's it for now hit me up for Jewish hcs cause I literally was two paragraphs in before I realized that's not what you asked for

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coffee-in-veins · 2 years

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Since we both want to forget about the DD tinfood; what do you think would be some good rations to take into a dungeon? What do heroes like/despise? Eating habits? Bonus points for the heroes' favourite foods, or some signature dishes from their homeland.

Thank you for this ask, and sorry for taking so long to answer! This ask actually allows me to share a lot of things I've looked into for my writing of "Restructured, refractured, recalled" - but it’s mostly background flavour work to add the text its flavour, and usually isn’t too noticeable. Still, I’ve spent quite some time reading and thinking about it. Hyperfixation at its finest, what do you do.

LOADS of ramblings are incoming! Thee hast been warned.

So the thing is, I have to admit that I'm biased in a way - I was researching it all from the perspective of my Heiress, and thus, the decisions made in the food provided (and the housing, technically, but that’s a separate story) are made with her personality in mind, that being cold, calculated and completely, utterly devoid of any understanding of empathy. Therefore, the sustenance was akin to solving a puzzle - how to feed the heroes without it being too costly.

The biggest number of heroes Hamlet could house at any given moment (provided there are fully repaired and upgraded barracks and we count one additional slot provided by Shieldbreaker DLC and no one is out on a mission) is 29. This is huge, considering that Hamlet, if taken in its most literal sense, is a tiny settlement, with a population of fewer than 100 people from what I could gather. Interestingly, “hamlet” is defined as “a small settlement that has no central place of worship and no meeting point, for example, a village hall”, but Hamlet in DD has a whole Abbey. Which I think is supposed to be bigger than mere church...? But frankly, I’m far from being a religious person, so I’m not sure how that is supposed to work or is it yet another “here’s a tin can, don’t think about it if you want your sanity back” thing. We might never know. If someone knows about it, feel free to write to me; I’d love to understand it.

The point of this tangent is that if we assume that Hamlet has a population of 100, adding 29 heroes is impossible for the town to feed on its own. That might explain the need to provide the sustenance for the expeditions out of the Heiress’ pockets at a full price instead of getting it as a tax, for example, from the lands she supposedly owns. And an argument could be made that it’s only a 2:100 ratio when we first come to Hamlet and that the first Vestal is from the Abbey itself, and the first PD is a scholar from a Sanatorium (hence them always being the first additions to your team that you get), and that the population of Hamlet increases with the infrastructure you re-build and the more monsters you clear out the more people come to Hamlet, thus making the food situation more manageable. Another argument can be made that Hamlet is merely a name that historically stuck, and the actual population is much higher than the name would suggest. The fact that even in its most dilapidated state, the town has stone buildings and bridges, and a working harbour, as well as noblemen with titles as high as Countess coming to the Estate in the past somewhat supports this idea. A small settlement wouldn’t be able to feed and support the revelry that Ancestor was supposedly having before your time. Then again, it’s very hard to understand what is a limitation of the game, what is a deliberate artistic choice and what is simply the rule of cool, here.

Now to the food itself.

First of all, there’s foraging during the expeditions themselves. Save for Ruins, there’s always a non-zero chance to find or get food if you know what you’re doing. A bag of herbs can cleanse enough things to sustain a party for at least some time. The real quality of said sustenance is dubious at best, but when the alternative is starvation, one cannot be picky. It’s hard to say for sure what can be found in each location but we can speculate. There’s fish, sea monster meat, whale meat (based on the corpse in one of the rooms) and seaweed in Cove; most likely wild game carcasses and gnashers in Weald (fun fact! rabies virus is extremely susceptible to heat, just 50 degrees Celsius is enough to destroy it, so technically, cooked gnasher meat should be safely edible for heroes); stolen food from surrounding farms and swine carcasses themselves (for completely desensitised heroes) in Warrens - based on the quest for stealing their food, humans and swine require the same or extremely similar sustenance, after all. Also, there are molluscs and barnacles in Cove, rats and mice in Ruins, Weald and Warrens, nuts, berries, acorns and wild greens in the Weald and lichen most likely everywhere, all of which can be used to stretch the rations for longer.

Second of all, Hamlet is sea-side which has a huge benefit we might not appreciate enough nowadays, that being - an abundance of relatively cheap (Hamlet seems to be in middle latitudes (despite there being surface corals, I hate it here, I hate it here so much), so salt extraction cannot be achieved by solar power alone and requires some fuel source; fortunately, Weald is in the convenient distance), available sea salt for any needs. Namely, for food preservation. Yes, one can argue that having fishfolk in the Cove increases the cost, but I'd argue anything in Hamlet is far from being monster-proof, so I assume that the possibility of being butchered by some eldritch horrors during work hours is simply included in the baseline cost.

Regardless, having access to the sea/ocean and a huge forest, as well as farms (we know they canonically exist because of the Bumper Crop event and well, Farmstead) makes salted meat and fish quite readily available for heroes during their expeditions. Moreover, salted meat, fish and lard can be used in cooking during camping and eliminates the need of salting the pottage it is added to, serving a double purpose.

Now, on the topic of something more affordable - such as bread. Bread in itself isn't as storage-efficient as it may look at a first glance - even if we're talking about denser, heavier "peasant" (that is, rye, oats or barley instead of more expensive wheat) wholewheat bread. However, considering there's a town which can be tasked with it, ordering the baking of hardtack and flatbreads specifically for the purpose of providing for the expeditions looks like a reasonable choice. They are cheaper (requiring no yeast, beer barm or beer), and need only water, flour and salt, all of which Hamlet has access to. And, well, this is one of the most sufficient, calorie-dense and cheap options - ideal for our heartless, calculating Heiress. Far more affordable than meat, for example. Furthermore, it can be used to thicken and enrich some sort of stew or pottage, and we can see some sort of (presumably?) stew, pottage or soup being cooked during the camping in the pot that heroes canonically carry with them. Providing hardtack instead of grains can even be considered being "merciful" or "caring" since cooking them in some sort of gruel is far easier, and the resulting dish is far more nourishing than having to deal with plain grains on the expeditions (by either making porridge/gruel out of them or having to make some sort of flatbread by themselves).

Also, an abundance of salt means we probably have pickled/brined vegetables as a part of the rations. Pickles are sturdy, easy to transport, don’t require refrigeration and again, have the added bonus of salting otherwise unsalted stew. What types of vegetables those might be is tricky to suggest, but it is known that onions, carrots, peas, beans, rutabaga and cabbage were used a lot during medieval times. Parsnips were used up until the 16th century, from what I can find, and considering other anachronisms, they are a safe bet to add. Dried beans and peas are easy to transport and can be used as a base for stews and pottages, especially combined with other ingredients. The inclusion of fresh vegetables is more up to debate since they require more prep work. But onions, carrots and other roots are quite easy to transport and deal with, even during the expedition, and should last the canonical week well enough while adding quite a lot of nutrition to the supposed pottage. Especially if we consider that cabbage, peas and carrots were the cheapest available options for nourishment - again, ideal for our Heiress, who is only interested in keeping her hired muscles fed, not fed well.

Then there are eggs. They have an added bonus of not requiring to kill the hen, and therefore are relatively cheap. Cheaper than chicken meat, that’s for sure (and yes, I am aware, that cockerels were mostly raised for meat, killing a hen was more flaunting wealth than anything else in medieval times). Raw eggs are rather fragile, however, fresh eggs can last a week or two without refrigeration making them a nice addition to the meal, if it was possible to carry them - because honestly, adding just a couple of eggs to the gruel adds a lot to its nutritional value. On the contrary, hard-boiled eggs only last a couple of hours before starting to spoil but are far easier to transport, possibly playing the role of some sort of "on the road" snack, for a lack of a better term. However, they are far better used as an ingredient for our next option.

And the option is pastry! There is evidence of pies being abundant in the medieval period and them being used as meals during the working day. Pies had a wide variety of fillings, from extremely expensive beef or veal and venison to much more affordable pork, to fish, to fruit. Pies are not considered long-lasting provisions, but they could’ve been used as a “food for the first day” sort of rations, while longer-lasting products or raw products that required cooking were kept for the last days of the expedition. Again, there were types of very bland pastry, basically water with flour and a bit of salt, which was merely a holder for the filling, and I think it would fit the type of food the Heiress could provide for her mercenaries. More costly fillings (such as meat or cheese) can be diluted with vegetables while providing more volume, thus lowering the cost even further. I’m not entirely sure what can be the thing that heroes fry during their camping. It can be some sort of root vegetable, chopped and cooked. Or can be some sort of pastry or dumplings that have probably gone stale during the expedition and are re-heated in molten lard to make them edible again. Honourable mention goes to halusky, a variety of dumplings cooked in the Central and Eastern European cuisines. These are small lumps cut from a thick flour and egg batter and dropped into boiling water. The lack of filling makes them – say it with me – cheaper and thus, more valuable as food to give to the mercenaries, however (and I can say it from experience) they are extremely filling, especially if combined with lard.

Also, one cannot forget about cheese as a product with high nutritional value, good shelf life and the added benefit of easy transportation. Cheese as a type of food was commonplace in medieval times, as were whey cheeses (cheeses made from by-products of the production of harder cheeses) due to having no other ways to increase dairy shelf life. Again, because there’s no need to kill the cow to get the cheese, the product was way cheaper than meat. It is dense, has a good nutrition-to-volume ratio, and can be used in stews or eaten by itself, making it very versatile.

Another way of sustenance that was mentioned before is lard and butter. Although butter production in large quantities is way more cattle-heavy, and thus less probable in Hamlet which is canonically situated in dense woods on the seaside. On the other hand, lard is way more available, especially if we consider that pork was the staple meat of medieval times, much like poultry is now. Lard can be salted and/or smoked, and preserves extremely well after it, while serving as a meal when combined with bread. Also, hot lard can be used for meat preservation and cooking, but since it’s liquid, I doubt any of it was used during expeditions. Lard itself, however, in its solid form, is far more viable, as a very calory-dense product, an oil source for frying (since we see some sort of a frying pan during camping) and as a reliable, relatively cheap ingredient.

Another way of adding sustenance was using mushrooms. There’s a history of mushroom consumption, and we even have some medieval recipes requiring mushrooms. Wild mushrooms can add nutrition to pottage or be fried with onions and leaks on lard as a separate dish. They also can be dried to last for a while. The problem is the bigger bipedal mushrooms of the Weald that wouldn’t mind reversing the roles and eating the mushroom hunters and the fact that they possess danger in themselves. While it would be bad enough to have food poisoning, having food poisoning in the middle of an expedition surrounded by eldritch horrors sounds like a very high-risk play. I have no doubt that mushrooms were given to Seekers (level 0 heroes) instead of meat when they were in-season as relatively cheap sustenance, but adding avoidable risk factors for high-level expeditions sounds like a bad investment. After all, high-level heroes are money sinks with their skills, gear and weapons. Therefore, they most likely got other foodstuffs instead of mushrooms.

One more good food that could’ve been used and is relatively cheap is dried fruits. Nothing fancy, though, something simple and readily available in middle latitudes such as dried apples, pears or plums. There’s a source called “Naturalis historia” which, while describing real-world Italy (which is undoubtedly far more southern than Hamlet’s position, not gonna lie), mentions twelve kinds of plums, thirty kinds of apple, forty-one kinds of pear, sorb, cherries and multiple nuts including chestnuts which would’ve probably been available in one capacity or another. Dried berries could also be added as long-lasting, easy-to-transport addition to rations. Namely, dried berries, including rosehip berries, were often used to simply eat or brew drinks.

If the topic of sweeter foodstuffs is touched, one cannot forget about honey. Sugar wasn’t readily available due to sugarcane not being grown in Europe until the mid-15th century and therefore was stupidly expensive. Moreover, sugar was considered valuable mostly for its “medical properties”. Honey, while also isn’t particularly cheap, was far more available for the population. It can last for years without the need for preservation or refrigeration, making it an enticing option for more valuable mercenaries.

On the topic of pottages, stews, drinks and basic sustenance, we cannot forget one crucial component without which no long-term expedition can be carried out – fresh water. In cooking, for drinking, water is required in expeditions, especially when there’s basically zero chance of finding it, like in the Cove or the Ruins. Therefore, the heroes would also have to carry waterskins with water. Said water would most likely be diluted with either wine or vinegar to prevent it from going bad. It is unclear whether Hamlet uses wells or the bridges we see are over actual rivers, but medieval settlements were seldom created without direct access to some source of fresh water.

Finally, there’s the question of flavouring. And while true, spices were extremely costly in the medieval period, costing a ludicrous amount of money, there were quite a few options to spice things up that could’ve been used – especially for preparing the food for longer-lasting, higher-value mercenaries (levels 4 and up let’s say) which Heiress would be interested to keep around at least as a money investment she had committed to. Such spice options include garlic, leeks, onion, rosemary, mint, thyme, horseradish, basil, oregano, sage, parsley, dill, lovage, marjoram and cilantro to name a few. Maybe ginger and some types of pepper (long pepper I believe) that were native to the east.

Thus, the average rations that could’ve been provided could include:

hardtack or flatbreads;

some sort of treated meat (most likely salted due to availability of salt, but cured and smoked, or processed into sausages are also an option);

lard;

cheap dried fruits (like apple, pear or plum);

cheese or whey cheese;

root vegetables (maybe pickled);

dried peas or beans;

drinking water in a waterskin;

additives (salt, flavouring, honey) if provided and/or available.

Again, we know that the meat is provided based on Reynauld’s paranoid barks (“Look, it's all pink. Cook it properly”), and we know that the bread is provided from Junia’s paranoid barks (“The Verses say nothing about fuzzy bread... hmmm...”). “Apples and cheese” and “Stale bread” are foods available in DD2 (as much as I hate to mix those two together, especially because of the potato mentioned there...) and the picture for Hunger shows us some bread, waterskin and sausages, so we know they were canonically offered to heroes.

Now, bonus round!

Please note that mostly I have headcanons for characters used in the fic the most (since the abovementioned work was done mostly for writing RRR), and some will be far less thought-through than others.

Abomination/Bigby – he always gives me pause, so again, thank you, @engelsschwert for discussing him with me and offering help. Probably a very polite eater and tries to mimic someone whom he sees as “refined”, such as Alhazred, because he sees himself as eating “like an animal” otherwise. Rather territorial about his food and has food anxiety after being held captive by the cult. Probably loves stews and hearty, hot pottages because they feel “homey”. Doesn’t like fish because fish bones tend to stick in the teeth and make transformations even more unpleasant than they already are.

Antiquarian/Josephine – I can easily picture her loving sweet pastries of more expensive variety and especially those which included almond milk or almond puree. With saffron, if we want to make it extra rich.

Arbalest/Missandei – she is a girl of simple needs, those needs being a mug of good booze and a fine piece of roast fresh from the fire, still dripping fat. Her guilty pleasure is venison and bear meat. Probably used to be a poacher to satisfy them.

Bounty Hunter/Tardif – he loves tooth-rottingly sweet Turkish coffee (or the closest equivalent DD world has to offer). The problem is, despite the fact that Hamlet is a settlement with an operating harbour, I doubt he can enjoy that quite often. The price is simply too high for a mercenary. The idea of dairy makes him sick unless it’s used in baking. One of the few people in Hamlet who knows what carob is and what it tastes like. Prefers any fruits in dry form. Preferably in a pie. Uses kneading dough as an outlet for anger issues – he needs the process, not the result, but just throwing it away is wasteful, so he ended up taking baking as a hobby. Rey is wisely silent about cooking being “unmanly” when Tardif is the one doing it.

Crusader/Reynauld – he’s the only man in Hamlet who knows how to dance around Lent rules without technically breaking them, from arguing that barley geese are grains to guiding pigs into rivers to make them mythical waterhogs or asserting that beavers are fish, Rey knows what he’s doing and isn’t afraid to abuse that knowledge to the fullest when the need arises. Can cook for sustenance but would rather not, since it’s “women’s work”. Has a huge sweet tooth and love for snacks and is in even bigger denial about it because it’s “unmanly”. He spends time blessing every meal even when in a hurry, even for his teammates, and even when they would rather him not do it (eventually most heroes just accepted it as inevitability). Has access to Abbey’s alcohol stocks but doesn’t see much point in inebriation. I have to thank @engelsschwert for his fav food, that being “the poor knights”. Preferably with cream and marmalade with just a pinch of vanilla and cinnamon but he’d rather die of shame than ask for those.

Flagellant/Damian – tried almond milk because of Tardif. Flagellation has not been the same ever since. Actively denies loving it while Tardif nods in agreement and makes another batch of almond cookies. Which mysteriously disappear each and every time. Because of Rey and him, Tardif takes part of his mercenary wages in almond flour. Not that anyone but the Heiress would know. And live.

Grave Robber/Audrey – she would kill for spices. Literally. Ma girl is starved on spices she had as a noble lady. Cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg, peppers, saffron, vanilla – all of those make her mouth water and rational decision-making take a backseat. Probably receives part of her wages in spices. Is extremely picky about her food if she has an option to be. Became friends with Rey because he always knows how to get adequate food during Lent. She loves custard tarts with spices and sugar.

Hellion/Boudica – canonically is fine about eating raw meat and cannibalism but is rather peer-pressured by the Spirits and tribe elders to follow the tradition than sees it as desirable on her own. Has a soft spot for animal and bird-shaped pastry. She sees complicated dishes as a show of weakness but is drawn to them out of curiosity and because they, well, taste good. Her favourite dish is a wild boar roast with cranberries and wild garlic and a slice of black blood bread.

Highwayman/Dismas – is utterly feral about his food and keeping it safe. Whenever he shares food, it’s a big gesture for him. If he actively caters for another person’s food preferences, it’s adoration. Food is basically his love language. Has a taste for meat, and yes, knows well how to cook rats – along with stray dogs, cats and whatnot. Can find food in the most improbable places. Desensitized to the point of being fine with eating cooked swine and fishfolk if it means survival. Loves jerky and needs to have some sort of emergency ration hidden on him to feel sane. Tried coffee once a long time ago and regrets not knowing what it was to look for more of it. His favourite dish is baked pork foreshank which was pre-boiled in dark beer with spices. Not that he can afford this dish often. Or at all.

Houndmaster/Willam – he loves some hearty pork pie, especially of gala variety. Preferably with a pint of nice ale. I wanted to give him some nice shepherd’s pie as his fav dish but it has potatoes which are blasphemy. Dunno why, he gives me strong Irish vibes. I can easily see him enjoying some crubeens and sharing them with Fergus. He’s a bad drinker and cannot hold liquor well but wants to keep up with others (namely Dismas), and usually, it ends badly for him. Has a habit of giving Fergus a bite of his own food and then finishing it, which some find endearing while others view as disgusting.

Jester/Sarmenti – has chronic lead poisoning from sugar of lead he was fed in the Court. Because of that he is irritable and has headaches and abdominal pains. He loves garlic and eats it demonstratively while showing off his Crimson Curse mutations to mess with people. His favourite dish is baked hedgehog with cameline sauce. He hates fruit pies because those were the ones which contained sugar of lead and he has had bad associations ever since. Overindulges in wine and has quite a taste for it thanks to Baldwin.

Leper/Baldwin – not gonna lie, ancient Israelite cuisine isn’t my strong suit. Probably milk- or broth-stewed meat with spices, from what I managed to find…? Veal meat was considered opulent, as was the meat of wild game hunted during the royal hunts. His eating habits most likely changed a lot after his illness, and now he simply prefers softer and lighter foods, which are easier to digest and usually reserved for the sick. Based on being an absolute unit of a man, eats quite a lot. Probably has a strong longing for olives. Has a softer temper and is willing to share but when stress mounts on him, snaps at people because of their table manners and their constant tries to cheat him out of his portion of rations since “he won’t be alive for long anyway”.

Man-at-Arms/Barristan – used to love rather opulent dishes back in his days of glory hounding, something like cherry chicken with rose water. Might enjoy stews and soups more now simply because they remind him of how he was humbled during his campaigns.

Musketeer/Margaret – canonically has a masochistic bark about loving Wraith peppers (a type of chilli peppers native to South America) and makes me cry in tin cans. No further comment.

Occultist/Alhazred – canonically likes or at least drinks coffee based on his masochistic bark. May have shown it to Dismas as a re-discovery. Has an affinity for consuming inadequate quantities of dried fruit, especially southern ones and tiny crumbly biscuits. Dislikes greasy foods because they leave stains on scrolls and books easily and he has a bad habit of absentmindedly eating whatever is in the vicinity while reading, and because of his concentration on the text, he doesn’t really register the taste or what exactly he’s eating. Once, someone placed a wax piece where his biscuits usually are as a joke. Alhazred didn’t notice and doesn’t know to this day why he had that weird constipation one time.

Plague Doctor/Paracelsus – she eats butter. No. You don’t get it. She just eats it as is. Plain butter. In chunks. Preferably from cold storage. Splintered in tiny frozen bits. Sometimes with a sprinkle of flaky unrefined sea salt. It’s her favourite. Says it saves time for more important things. Junia used to cook meals for them both, and Para doesn’t have the heart to throw away the jars and pots she used to bring food in. Now dragging Para to eat so she won’t die from her horrendous diet is mostly Audrey’s and Bigby’s job.

Shieldbreaker/Amani – again, ancient Turkish cuisine isn’t my forte but I can speculate. Because she is a woman in an ancient ottoman world, and an “object”, she probably didn’t get much meat to eat previously. And she might love her dolma, but the allure of breaking a taboo and eating pork is incredibly alluring, so she gets cheap thrills from that. Has a sweet tooth, even though you wouldn’t think that based on her physique and misses more intricate desserts dearly. Is disgusted by what people in Hamlet consider to be “tea” and would rather drink spoiled water. Is forced to eat in a specific manner as it is uncomfortable for her to hold the bowl and eat as most heroes do during camping due to lacking one hand.

Vestal/Junia – loves cheese, especially soft cheese and cream cheese. Especially loves to incorporate them into baking. Making cheesecakes is her passion, she ponders a lot about recipes and she silently respects Tardif for it and is probably the only person who can cook with him even if she is intimidated by him at any other time. Characters in her steamy novels often indulge in cheesecakes too. Is generally saddled with making church bread and cooking during camping much to her chagrin. Knows how to turn a stirring spoon into a weapon. Has a knack of taking grumpy and/or antisocial heroes and making them finally eat.

PHEW! This was a lot. Hope it answers all your questions :}

What’s my final score? ^^

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tellywoodtrash · 1 year

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Hey TT. I have my NEET PG exam coming up in 4 days and underprepared, uninterested, depressed, anxious and a whole lot of other adjectives. It feels like i did a big blunder becoming a doctor and coming into this field. I have zero interest left in this field. But nobody outside will understand if I want to leave this field because doctor bannke kon chod deta hain. Don't even know if i can leave this and do something else because I come from a middle class family and have a single parent.

I'm already 27 and jobless. At this point it feels like I want a PG seat only to get a good rishta and settle in life. I do want it. A good partner. A nice companion ship. I want to be happy. Would it be so bad to take any non clinical seat and be satisfied with a 60k 70k salary for the rest of my life? This move is a career suicide in my field literally. People will look down upon me and I'm already dealing with this immense pressure since childhood to be ultra succesful in life and help my mom. My mom is supportive but I can't help being guilty for all the sacrifices she made for me and my education and I won't even give her the satisfaction of a succesful child. All I want is to be peaceful and happy. Will it ever get better?

Hi friendddd,

First of all big hugs. 🫂🫂🫂 I know perfectly the feeling of putting in the years and effort only to realize that the career isn't working out for whom you are as a person. Been there, done that.

I personally am of the opinion (and you are fully welcome to disagree) that if you are finding it intolerable to trudge through a day in a certain profession, then it's better to leave it. Fuck what people outside or even INSIDE the career think. Medicine is very very hard (in every way; academically, physically - depending on your area, and emotionally) and a soul-grinding kinda job and not everyone is made for it. And if you have zero interest in it anymore...... Well, there's your answer. Patients who come to a doctor deserve to have someone who is invested in making them better. If you feel like you don't have that to give (and that's in no way a bad thing! not everyone is capable of it!) then why put yourself through becoming a doctor? Look up the concept of "sunk cost fallacy". I think that's what you're experiencing right now.

You said your mom is supportive and you want to help her out. So I want you to carefully sit and think about this: Which do you think will work out for both of your happiness long term? Pushing yourself into a big career that you can't sustain long-term, which could lead to burnout and then her having to support you again; or making a side-step into a non-clinical field which may start small and not flashy, but you can successfully commit to long-term, and thus build up a career in eventually? Trust me, any good parent just wants their child to be healthy and happy. All the money in the world cannot buy those things. I would suggest you have an honest talk with your mom and tell her that you're struggling, but also feeling an immense amount of guilt that you may be letting her down. I am sure she will want you to pick the option that makes you feel better in the long run. You have nothing to prove to anyone else. It's just between you and her.

As for the rishta thing, again, you want a life partner who is going to understand when you feel like this (and we go through things like this many a time in life; unfortunately, this is what adulthood is) and be a supportive companion through it. So look for a partner who has compassion and empathy and can understand why you made such a decision, rather than one who just looks at the job title you hold and your take-home package.

It WILL get better. But for it to get better, you will have to make some unconventional choices and not care what other people think or say. Once you are at peace with yourself, you will not care for outside opinions anyway.

I am sending you all the love and strength I have. Hope everything works out for the best of your health and happiness! 🤗🤗🤗

#tt answers #big sister tt gives life advice

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ben-talks-art · 1 year

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Thoughts on Chainsawman II's first major arc

Since it seems part II just wrapped its first major arc I felt it would be fun to share what I thought about it!

(Spoilers)

My first impressions are overall positive.

I'm still enjoying Asa and Yoru as a duo protagonists and I like how Denji has become the new "Power" of the series. I also like the addition of Yoshida, who at first I didn't even realize was a returning character because he left basically zero impact on me but now adopted this new role of the "mom" among all these kids trying to keep them from destroying each other.

I think my only major problem is that the current series feels a little too safe right now. There is no big threat looming on the horizon, no giant evil gun devil or control devil to scare us or to be the focus of what we need to defeat. Chainsawman is, despite everything that happened, really chill at the moment.

The biggest thing we had was the event dealing with Yuko and the justice devil, but even that doesn't really put me at the edge of my sit in the same way past threats used to do.

Part 2 so far seems to focus more on the smaller more personal struggles and challenges and how these affect the characters. It's more about seeing how these kids will be affected by these problems than how they will solve these problems.

On that note, I think the themes this arc tried to tackle were really interesting with the character of Yuko!

Yuko reminds me a lot of Makima in that both feel like representations of what a dangerous fan looks like.

Makima was the entitled fan. She only believed her point of view was the correct one and wanted to change things so everything would be just like she wanted because according to her, only she knows what's best, all while acting under the pretense of doing it for her hero.

Meanwhile, Yuko was the misguided fan. She assumed she knew what the core essence of her great hero was about and tried to follow in his footsteps while ignoring basic things like morality and empathy, all because she wanted a little taste of the success he had while not caring about who could suffer in the process.

I feel like this is a brilliant commentary on fanbases overall. So many people on the internet who think they "understand" certain online celebrities better than others and try so hard to copy their formula while attempting to appear "strong" and "confident" even though deep down they hide so much fear and insecurity while also trying to hide behind these masks to attack others, and justifying themselves with the mentality of "I'm the hero! I'm the one in the right! Everyone else is wrong and needs to be taught a lesson by me!! I was a victim of bullying and deserve to have my justice!!"

It reminds me of when fanbases start going after people online because they hear someone sharing different or negative opinions about the media they like and use it to spread hate and fear. Sometimes fans are so focused on "protecting" and "respecting" their idol's image that they end up completely missing the point that a story might be trying to teach. (like, say, sending death threats to someone just because they made a silly joke on Twitter just a couple of weeks after Chainsawman told a story about a girl who was considering suicide and could barely consider going back to school because she was being hated and bullied by all of her classmates after she accidentally killed a headless chicken)

Yuko is just such a great representation of fanbases that try to use the thing they love and the pain they carry to justify attacking others.

Meanwhile, Asa, the biggest chainsawman hater, and the most miserable person in the series (aside from maybe Kobeni?), manages to capture the essence of being a hero better than Yuko, better than anyone honestly, even though she doesn't even like the guy. All because the thing she loves, that being her mother, taught her to not let the pain she carries become a weapon to hurt others but to use the love she carries to be a weapon to protect others (literally).

I love that by the way, I love how Asa and Yuko show that two people can still be great friends even if one hates the thing that the other one loves, while Asa and Yoru, who share a mutual dislike for Denji, are the ones constantly bickering.

It teaches people don't need to like the same things to like each other.

There is also some other stuff like possible connections with the four horsemen, the darkness devil, Pochita's past, and so on but... Eh... I'm not a lore guy, I'm more a "character, themes, and messages" guy.

Overall, I'm enjoying it. I like these characters, I like these themes and the possible messages we can take out of it, artwork is still great, everyone is very expressive and the action still looks sick as always. I just wish we would have an actual villain, some really cool and scary big bad to make us worry about the safety of our heroes... and it seems like we might be getting something? But it's still unclear right now.

We shall see.

Thought os part II's start>>

#chainsaw man asa mitaka #chainsaw man #chainsaw man part two #asa chainsaw man #dont spread hate #love is the strongest weapon

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vespertin-y · 1 year

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more liveblogging YIPPEE!! this time it’s the first half of ch1′s daily life.

-”monokuma will never directly commit a murder” bro don’t you threaten to kill all of them like two days from now??

-himiko’s vibrating sprite 😭 she is my spirit animal truly

-oh, shuichi and rantaro’s dynamic is GREAT. shuichi pulls kaede aside to ask if she thinks an ultimate talent is “really something you can forget” and iirc rantaro says he thinks shuichi is the most suspicious person in his FTEs - they both clearly suspect the other of being the ringleader and it’s fantastic. especially since their shared fondness for kaede makes them interact more than they’d probably like.

-we meet again, manhole gonta cg, we meet again. you have not gotten any prettier.

-kokichi’s first instinct when faced with a big hollow place is to yodel, and honestly same. echos r fun okay!!

-rantaro gets so much snarkier upon rewatch - you realize how much of his dialogue is just taking the piss. him saying “oh, how considerate” when they find the exit sign still makes me giggle.

-kaito thinking kaede is the COOLEST WOMAN ON EARTH and kaede thinking he’s sooo lame is such an underrated dynamic. “gimme a hug!” “no 💖” lives in my head rent free.

-kokichi’s speech after the death road of despair is what made me sit up and take interest in him and in kaede as characters and it still holds up so good hpsuhag,,,,i don’t have a ton of bigbrain thoughts about it but please know i am thinking about high empathy/low compassion kokichi and low empathy/high compassion kaede every single day. autistic queens.

-kokichi literally just says they need to find another way out and rantaro’s immediately like “murder?? you want to do a murder, you little gremlin????” then tenko freaks out, kokichi tells her to chill, and she threatens to smash his head into the ground!? it seems to me that the writers had a set dynamic between kokichi and the rest of the group, but forgot that by this point in the story they haven’t written anything to justify it - even with rantaro’s paranoia and tenko’s anger issues, this is excessive. HILARIOUSLY, this makes the scene read as his fucking jonker origin story. tenko, you fool, you should’ve taken the bubblegum...! look what you’ve gotten us all into...!

-the dorm rooms are INSANELY swanky. i’d want to live there, if not for the...everything else......

-them having tons of copies of the same outfit is so funny. tsumugi put her heart and soul into those costumes and you WILL wear them.

-that’s the end of day one! i’ll be keeping track of them, just so you all can understand how RIDICULOUS v3′s timeline is.

-i once saw someone point out that there was zero reason for maki not to take the first blood perk, and now that HAUNTS me. she would only be responsible for one death since there’s no class trial, and we know that ever after five chapters of ✨bonding✨ she’s still willing to murder all her “friends” in a petty revenge plot, and she’s supposed to be willing to do ANYTHING to keep her orphanage from going under. completely irrelevantly, did you know maki being an assassin was actually added later in development than kaede being the first killer?

-despite him definitely knowing that monokuma isn’t really dead, kokichi insists wholeheartedly that the killing game is “cancelled” - it’s one of his more obvious ploys imo. even if it can only delay deaths for a day or so, he’s willing to throw all his acting chops behind it.

-you know that meme that goes “god made me mentally ill to nerf me”? that’s shuichi. he’s a side character that becomes the protagonist. he has a plan to catch the mastermind in CHAPTER ONE. he is breaking the danganronpa formula so bad. tsumugi had to pump him full of depression or else he would have crushed her show like a nut on day one. the detective. he destroyed his narrative. yes. YES. the detective is out.

-KAEDE TOLD MIU TO SHUT THE HELL UP...u know it’s serious when u get *kaede* to curse omg

-”hey,do you think this door is connected to monokuma somehow?” “i think it might.” and here we get our first reminder that v3 was translated by character, not by scene. the translators mostly stuck to their individual character’s dialogue without much communication, and it leaves lots of little blips like this.

-and so day two ends!

-the way they just...take the wind right out of monokuma’s sails is so funny. he’s so excited for this yokai gimmick!! and then miu tells him to get hit by a second car, tsumugi complains that his outfit is bad, and korekiyo starts explaining the difference between ghosts and yokai in excruciating detail. monokuma’s one weakness: pretentious teenage nerds...!

-the additional time-limit motive doesn’t make sense to me when it’s been ONE DAY since he introduced the first one!? it feels like a last resort, something to be used after they refused to take the bait. fits much better with a more stretched-out timeline, where they were in the school for a month or so with no murder before monokuma snapped and told them to kill or else.

-rantaro questions if he can even trust himself because of his missing memories. of course WE know he’s not gonna get hajime’d, but it’s a reasonable fear!

-”that’s why i didn’t want to talk about this in front of everyone...if we told them now, they might all try to find the mastermind, and be led to murder. that’s why...i could only tell you, kaede.” oh, shuichi......(┬┬﹏┬┬) kaede just goes dead silent after this too, before changing the subject. she doesn’t have a murder plan yet - she can’t have one, not before they’ve gone to the warehouse - but she’s certainly Considering Options.

-there’s part one of daily life! like and subscribe, i’ll be posting the second half momentarily :]

#dr #mem liveblogs

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bethylforthewin · 1 year

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Hey everyone! New Bethyl blog here, supporting my favorite ship.

A few things to mention before I start posting, reblogging, and what not.

I have a ZERO tolerance for bullying, harassment, and flat out being disrespectful to someone else over a ship you may not agree with. The lack of human empathy and the need to constantly hound someone over something you don’t agree with is not okay. We all are free to speak our minds, but there is a fine line.

You as a whole a$$ person, are allowed to ship whoever you want, but don’t come to my blog (or quite frankly anyone else’s blog), and try to start un-necessary drama. If you personally don’t like Bethyl you are wasting your own time by coming to my page just to harass and berate me over a ship. You will be blocked, and you can expect me to not respond. It’s so much easier to just scroll on and actually comment and react to what YOU LIKE. NOT what you HATE.

There’s also mis information when it comes to Beth. Beth was 17 in Season 3. (Video below) Beth verbally told creeper Axel her age. This would make Beth roughly 19, or even arguably 20 when she passed in season 5. Keep in mind, if Beth was still alive, she would have gone through some major time jumps and would be MORE than old enough to date Daryl.

I must add that I deeply empathize with creators who can spend literal hours, if not weeks, or months on their work to only take it down over being criticized, and harassed. Creators love good constructive criticism, but there are people who take things too far. Be helpful, and positive. No one needs to hear you don’t like something. Just scroll along.

Lastly, The one thing I will never fully understand is those who try to compare bethylers to other ships and different fandoms saying “we must ship this”. Some of us aren’t even aware, nor watch these certain shows you compare us to, let alone ship whatever it is. Excuse the f*ck out of you, but who are you to assume about ANYONE. Who likes ANYBODY to ASSUME ANYTHING about them? You don’t know us, so don’t act like you do on a personal note.

It honestly, and truly baffles me how people are so hateful these days. Which leads me to say, who the f*ck are you to tell someone if they can’t handle the internet, to leave, and not use it? Take accountability for YOURSELVES for once. Don’t be a POS and rally your possé, blast, or be verbally abusive towards us over an OPINION. Some of y’all take things way to far and you never stop to think that maybe someone is disabled, has learning disabilities, or is su1cidal. Words can actually damage someone. It’s not just because they have “thin skin”. Maybe they had an abusive upbringing, are recovering from an abusive environment, maybe they struggled with drugs and are in recovery, maybe they even have self confidence issues. You say it isn’t your problem; BUT IT IS!!!!! YOU AS A PERSON ARE IN CONTROL OF WHAT YOU SAY!!! WHAT YOU DO!!! YOU!!! NO ONE ELSE!!!

Positivity is what this world needs, and there’s barely any of that left these days.

That’s it for now, I hope you all enjoy my blog. ✨

#Bethyl #beth x daryl #daryl x beth #beth greene

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animeyanderelover · 2 years

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Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, delusions, clinginess, manipulation, gambling addiction, masochism, sadism

Teacher's shy pet s/o who never gambles

Jabami Yumeko

♠️She's a compulsive gambler so for Yumeko this is gonna be a problem which only grows with more and more time. She adores her darling's shyness since she loves teasing the s/o and she has also a easier time manipulating her darling like this. You being the favorite among teachers is not something that bothers her either, after all gambling decides in this school who is truly going to live a good life later on and she admires the diligence that earned you this position.

♠️The biggest problem for her just is that she has absolutely zero understanding to why you avoid gambling. The thrill, the fun, the ecstasy are things that you completely avoid and she turns with time incredibly pushy, a scary determination to drag you with her into the gambling hell. She's not someone to give up very easily and she has led many to their ruin already, maybe you are the first one she can't pull into misery? Though I warn you, once she has stopped seeing this as a fun game and starts feeling annoyed and slightly disappointed, her methods become more and more extreme without her caring whether this terrifies you or not.

Momobami Ririka

🎭She sees so much of herself in her darling and for that has a great empathy for her. Looking on how shy Ririka herself can be, it's utterly funny seeing her darling and Ririka together, constantly flustered and shy together, though to outstanders it might look cute. As long as Ririka has her mask on, she tends to be the more confident and bold one, though her facade crumbles as son as she takes her maks off, comfortable enough to do it around you.

🎭Honestly, Ririka is a Yandere who cares a great deal about you and your feelings and since she hates being forced to do something herself, she'd never feel like she has to force you into a gamble. There are other ways to have a good life in this world and even if she is a excellent player herself, she never expects you to be involved in the same high bets she is. She does fear though, it's only natural since she knows how this Academy works and how easy it is to start something that will end in someone's demise so she might want to teach you at least the basics in case of an emergency. She doesn't mind her s/o being the teacher's pet, it is rather proof to her that her s/o can live a normal life without having to gamble for millions of Yen since you are diligent and work hard.

Ikishima Midari

♥️Midari is probably next to Yumeko the worst with such a darling and her antics are what is to blame for this. She does not necessarily have anything against a shy darling herself, problem is that the way she interacts with you is unsettling and if you are as shy as you are, this will be especially bad for you. You will naturally tend to avoid her and that is where Midari tends to snap. She follows you anywhere, constantly tries to get you to talk to her and creeps everyone out who you talk to since she highly envies them for the fact you pay attention to them, but not to her.

♥️Screw it that you're a student favored among teachers, she does not care about your grades or your money. But your attention and the pain you could inflict on her are what pushes her to continously pursue you, no matter how terrified you feel about her by now. She just needs to have you look at her, give her this pleasurable pain that will make her laugh in ecstasy and euphoria. She is just a needy, little masochist who needs her daily dose of gambling so she can get hurt. Imagining you, who tends to be so bashful, hitting her or inflicting any other sort of beautiful agony on her with a bright grin arouses Midari beyond belief. The image has her going crazy and the more she is neglected, the more frantic she becomes.

Momobami Kirari

♣️This woman here gives about literally nothing a fuck, her reaction is just indifference on itself. Kirari is heir of her clan, she is the president of this place and she has all the influence and money she needs. So she doesn't even need you to play games and load yourself with debt, she will be anyways the one in the higher position. That is what ends up intimidating her darling greatly, but Kirari does not really mind. She might actually enjoy this shyness a bit, she is more sadistic so it is likely that she'll pull quite a bit on your ears for her own personal curiosity and amusement.

♣️Being the teacher's pet won't help you either because she could probably easily fire them with a snip of her fingers, that is just the difference in the influence and as long as people aren't out of their mind, they'd never dare to go against her. Darling is already on her leash before she'll realize it. All the caution to never even risk the possibility of becoming a pet is completely useless the moment Kirari somehow has her eyes set on you, your attitude sparks her interest. Maybe because she can't fully grasp your thoughts and your behavior, similar to why she finds Sayaka so highly interesting. Even if you are not officially a pet, you'll always be Kirari's personal pet.

#yandere kakegurui #yandere yumeko #yandere jabami yumeko #yandere ririka #yandere momobami ririka #yandere midari #yandere ikishima midari #yandere kirari #yandere momobami kirari

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neurodiversebones · 3 years

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autistic brennan !!!

in my autistic opinion... here you go. a SLIGHTLY more organized version of what i have dropped in the DMs of anyone who is willing to listen, copy and pasted from a google doc i have so eloquently named "bones is fucking autistic" !!

this headcanon is like. 95% confirmed, which kind of makes my heart do a little "!!!" <3 idk brennan means a Lot to me and always did as a young autistic afab person :-) so here you go !! (under the cut)

okay SO here is my explanation for my headcanon, explained in bullet points- this took up multiple google docs pages so i hope you're ready

emotional display:

has absolutely zero poker face- we see this frequently. there are too many instances to count where she cannot hide her facial expressions !! it is also referenced by booth in late season 8, and i think a few other characters have mentioned it throughout the series?

this is especially in the earlier seasons, but her response to stress and trauma is Very Neurodivergent. she rarely has an outward response- it's so rare to see her cry before season 7/8 ?? this could also definitely be a trauma thing but like,,, trauma symptoms and autistic traits are unfortunately hard to differentiate between because autistic people tend to go through more traumatic situations

not exactly emotional display, but similar- she clearly has alexithymia, or something of the sort (basically, she struggles to recognize her own emotions). this is exhibited a few times- the one i can remember right now is "i don't understand what i'm feeling" "you understand happy, right?" (conversation with angela, season 9). this is actually something i have rarely seen in a character- at least not done well. it makes me very happy !!!

empathy:

she struggles to understand why others would think differently than her- her view of the world is Correct in her eyes, and she finds it difficult to look from someone else's point of view. this frequently ends in her criticizing those around her- her view of the world is incredibly black and white, so when others disagree with her, she believes they must be wrong.

extension of the black and white thinking- she doesn't understand concepts, no matter how hard she tries. she needs evidence and proof. examples of this would be her views on god/religion, love (pre-season 6), and marriage (pre-season 8)

despite her lack of empathy toward people, she exhibits a lot of empathy toward animals. this is actually a really common autistic trait?? examples of this would be her emotional attachment to the dogs in 4x04, or her explosive reaction to finding out the tiger was killed in 8x04

social/conversational skills:

this is probably her most obvious and easily recognizable autistic trait- it's what made me go "she's autistic" after watching a few episodes

she does not understand jokes or sarcasm very well- she frequently gets confused by jokes, explaining why they aren't funny or don't make sense, especially pop culture jokes. when she does understand jokes or pop culture references, she gets very excited and explains them out loud, even though everyone around her already understands (just adding- i love this so much ?? her explaining jokes is Very Cute. i'm sorry i'm a simple gay who can't go ten minutes without declaring my love for her)

struggles with small talk and social niceties- this is used as a joke in nearly every episode. she doesn't do small talk well- preferring to talk about topics that are actually important or interest her. she doesn't see the need for most social conventions either, which leads to her frequently being seen as rude.

she misses social cues in conversations- she frequently brings up topics that are probably not Appropriate for the setting (talking about dead bodies in a restaurant, talking about sex while standing over a dead body, etc.)

she is incredibly literal, and doesn't understand metaphorical speak. this goes hand in hand with the not understanding jokes- she takes many phrases at face value, sometimes confusing others

tone:

she frequently comes off as cold or blunt without meaning to be- many people read her as "heartless" or just uninterested because of the way she speaks, even when she is very invested.

i don't know how to explain this other than her speaking pattern is Very Autistic- the way she pauses mid sentence all the time, the facial expressions she makes while speaking, it's all autism babey !!!

intense focus on one topic:

okay it's very obvious that her special interests are forensics and anthropology

she gets hyperfocused, often losing herself in her work and putting herself through the ringer for it. she puts her work above (almost) everything, and has stated on multiple occasions that she would be nothing without her work.

she often explains the things around her with references to anthropology and ancient civilizations- she uses these references to explain her feelings, the situations she's in, and frequently, to solve crimes. things make sense to her when she thinks about them like this.

not engaging with peers in an "expected" way:

she is often showed to have difficulty getting close with people- she doesn't like showing emotion to others, and would rather just talk about the task at hand. this could very well be explained by her trauma background- but i believe it's probably a bit of both.

she finds it difficult to bond with her peers over common things, like pop culture, and rather talks about work or other things. she doesn't open up to a lot of people, even those who she is incredibly close with.

other/misc.:

stimming !! this doesn't have enough instances to get its own section, but i like to interpret that wonder woman scene as vestibular stimming, purely because i love to spin and jump !!!!

detail oriented, to the point of obsession. it's common for autistic people to get caught up in the details of things, which she definitely does.

views on sexuality differ from the "norm"- she is very critical of monogamy during the first half of the series, and does not see the point in marriage. also she's definitely arospec, just putting that out there <3

i am autistic and i love her therefore i'm right

final notes:

i think she's one of my favourite autistic characters to exist- i usually despise the socially awkward detective trope, but it's handled well here. the people around her don't expect her to change the innate aspects of who she is- rather, they love her unconditionally (even if they are exasperated at times- which is natural to feel with people that you love)

i very much like that they didn't go with the socially awkward + smart = unattractive trope either- she knows that she's hot, and so do the people around her. i'm so sick of nerdy girls not being allowed to be hot 😭 especially when it comes to autistic-coded characters- let autistic people have sex lives 2k21

she just,,, holds a very special place in my heart. as an undiagnosed autistic afab kid, she meant a lot to me. i saw a woman on screen who was smart like me and sometimes confused people because of her intelligence, who didn't really get social situations, who didn't know how to express how she felt. she was like me- and she loved herself, and people loved her. she's a very important character to me and has been since i was really young <3

thank you SO MUCH to anybody who read this- brennan is the loml and i will infodump about her until the end of time

#bones tv #bones on fox #temperance brennan #bonestv #brennan #emily deschanel #autistic headcanon #autistic pride #actuallyautistic #autistic brennan #autistic bones #autistic characters #autism #autistic #neurodivergent #my headcanons

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antiloreolympus · 3 years

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10 Anti LO Asks

1. Just a few basic definitions of deconstruction in literature" "Deconstruction is an approach to understanding the relationship between text and meaning." and "Deconstruction is defined as a way of analyzing literature that assumes that text cannot have a fixed meaning. An example of deconstruction is reading a novel twice, 20 years apart, and seeing how it has a different meaning each time." LO meets neither of these requirements, since it does not follow the original myth to begin with.

2. rachel truly has the biggest brain to not only make lesbians be the oppressors to the rich, heterosexual couple, she even made the lesbians oppress themselves. real 5D chess move there.

3. have you seen the lore Olympus au where they find out they’re actually trapped in smythes fan fiction and have to fight to reclaim their true selves/personalities because. Ther was a scene in it where real!apollo finally transforms into himself and saves LO!persephone from real!minotaur??? On god it was incredible

4. deadass its wild how like everyone and their moms (literally) can just stroll into hades' house all willy nilly? like at MOST i would be able to buy hermes and hecate being able to get in, but literally like?? no named flower nymphs can just stroll in? leto?? youd think the rich king with 7+ dogs would be able to like, invest in a lock at least.

5. What I wanna know is why smythe didn’t just use pan. Could be creepily older than her, historically known for at LEAST being sexually voracious (though I can’t say whether or not he was predatory) with a sadistic streak, a tie to nature that could make him obsessed with her, the fact that he could LITERALLY die at the end for a satisfying punishment? Girl Apollo was so nonsensical. If she’s gonna pick a random god to slander it may as well be one that makes sense

6. Still angry about Leto made into a SUN GOD that gaslights her kids. In the myth, Apollo & Artemis weren't known for wrath but one time they did team up to kill innocent mortals because a mortal woman shamed Leto for only having 2 kids (when fertility was highly praised). This story alone showed how gods are capable of horrible things because they don't put mortals on the same pedestal as their own.

If RS wanted to make Apollo a villain, at least make it like this story, where he's doing this out of love. Making Leto (a loving mother who's loved by her children) an abusive & manipulative parent served no purpose and instead just made Apollo's villainous arc clumsy because he didn't really CHOOSE to do any of it.

7. Rachel claiming LO is in the "monster boyfriend" genre is not only wrong, it's just insulting to actual monster fuckers. She could maybe argue it's a monster girlfriend comic, since hades gets off sexually to persephone turning into a giant and murdering people, but him?? how dare you. unless she means being a slave owner capitalist dictator is a monster, in which case maybe dont romanticize that kind of monster you white devil 💀

8. It's funny to see Smythe so against PJO given the fact that her and Riordan both regularly screw up their representation.

9. Tbh, I do not give a F * C K about his infertility. It doesn’t have to be shoved in the story and get the fans thinking Persephone will fix that because she’s a fertility goddess! I know I may sound rude but for Hades to lose his ability to give baby juice JUST TO BE KING??? Not a risk. What should’ve been his risk was knowing he would be alone in the underworld, just like it was addressed in his flashback of being eaten by Kronos. I have a ton of things I would like to say on Kronos as well but for now, I do not have any knowledge on Kronos in the original myth.

10. tbh the fact lo hades wants kids yet shows zero actual empathy or patience screams he'd be a horrible father. for many of zeus' faults in myth, zeus fiercely loved his children and would do so much for them, especially his daughters. i know myth hades didnt have children but he seemed that he could be a strict but loving dad, but lo hades? nah, he seems too focused on himself and his wants to ever really give that up. Any kid he'd have would likely see their nannies more as parents than him.

#anti lo #anti lore olympus #lore olympus critical #lo critical

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xiyao-feels · 3 years

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@hqfeels

Oh man, as someone who loves 3zun, and thinks the mess of intertwining relationships is what makes it interesting, I really should not have read this post - while I think you make some interesting points for a different interpretation of the Nielan relationship, I would also caution against basing your interpretation so closely to the words of what is a translation

e.g. when you discuss LXC not framing things in terms of the sworn brother relationship, you point to the use of “one of his sworn brothers” vs “my” or “our” - chinese doesn’t always use pronouns, so it could very well be the translator having to fill in

I make note of this, not as a nitpick, but bc I think it goes to the heart of the framing of the relationship. Because I think Xiyao is fundamentally framed within the 3zun context - after all, what does JGY call LXC to show they’re close? Er-ge. “2”, not just Ge. NMJ, as Da-ge eternally haunts their relationship. The point of rejection from LXC? You don’t have to call me Er-ge anymore.

So, hey! I appreciate that you said you shouldn't have read my post, but I thought your points were worth addressing, and since you left comments in the notes I figured it was reasonable to respond. If you don't want to read this post, I completely understand, and I've left a bunch of empty lines after this paragraph so you don't have to read it if you don't want to.

The point about relying too heavily on exact shades of meaning is definitely a good one. Reading over my post, however, I think there are only three places where I do that; the point identified, later for one point in my discussion of QHJ's teacher, and actually later in the temple when I talk about the "sob" of Liebing as some evidence for LXC's grief for NMJ.

I think it's worth asking: how much does any one of these points contribute to the argument? They're definitely not irrelevant, or I wouldn't have pointed them out, but even so there's only so much wiggle room. No matter what pronouns he uses, for example, LXC only spends one clause of that speech directly on JGY killing NMJ, and it's in the context of, well, a general lack of reaction of personal grief. If—not even if he actually said 'our sworn brother' or 'my sworn brother,' I do think that would be some evidence of personal betrayal, even if it has to be considered in light of the rest of his reactions and non-reactions. But if, in the original text, the Chinese simply didn't specify the pronouns such that "his" is the translator's best guess—I just don't see that as a serious blow to the argument, given the consistency of the pattern as a whole, and I think it's kind of cherry-picking to suggest that it is.

Second, I don't think the pronoun there is ambiguous as is suggested. Consider the phrasing; it's not just "his sworn brother," it's "one of his sworn brothers." Supposing that "his" wasn't present in the original text. "One of my sworn brothers"? "One of our sworn brothers"? Neither really makes sense. Of course, perhaps they might make more sense in Chinese; but that's a little further than "what if the translator had to pick a pronoun."

Now, I think the above points are worth considering on their own merits, which is why I brought them up first. However, I have to say: I did, actually, check the Chinese, for the "one of his sworn brothers" and indeed in multiple places. I didn't mention it in the post for the same reason I usually try not to rely on it in my posts: because I feel like I'd end up setting myself up as some kind of authority when I'm very much not, and because I'm frequently fairly confused XP I have, what, one term of Mandarin, some amount of self-study, and Pleco installed on my phone. But I do often look at the original text and try to work things out, and sometimes I learn stuff that's been lost in translation, and often I can go well, my best guess aligns with the translation. If you want to confirm for yourself, and I encourage you to do so!!, then you can look at the text here: https://www.kunnu.com/modaozushi/. It's in chapter 64.

This is the clause about JGY killing one of his sworn brothers: 他设计杀害了自己的一位义兄 ("that he planned to kill one of his sworn brothers"). The pronoun before "one of his sworn brothers" is 自己, which is a pronoun referring to the subject of the sentence—in this case 他, he, JGY. Now, could I be wrong? Of course! Should anyone rely on uncited statements from a total stranger? No! I strongly encourage people to check this out for themselves, and if someone who actually does speak Chinese wants to offer some guidance I'd be very grateful. But given that it matched the translation from people who do actually speak both Chinese and English, it seemed enough to allow me to rely on the translation.

On that note, actually, I'll admit I missed a trick. "我父亲的一位恩师", one of my father's teachers—"teacher" there is 恩师, which Pleco gives me as "mentor; one's kind and respected master (or teacher)." So it does have more of an emotional edge, and I'll edit the post to acknowledge this. Even so, I think it's worth remembering both that it's one word, he's not adding lots of adjectives about the teacher, and most importantly that the teacher simply isn't lingered on. The effects of his mother killing the teacher, yes, and the contrast between his memories of his mother and the fact that she did kill his father's teacher...but the teacher himself is just not dwelled on.

(For completion's sake, the "sob" of Liebing in ch 107 is "呜咽", which Pleco gives as 1) sob, whimper 2) (of water, wind, stringed instrument, etc) weep; wail; lament; mourn.)

But again, quibbling over phrasing is to some extent a distraction. The important thing is not so much any one incident as the pattern they form, considered together; this is why my original post was so long, because I was trying to consider the overall pattern, and I think the comment about framing is pointing at the same thing. So it's worth asking: are xi//yao framed in terms of the 3//zun relationship?

In fact, I think this divides into two questions. First: does the text frame xi//yao in terms of the 3//zun relationship? And second: do xi//yao understand their relationship fundamentally in terms of the 3//zun relationship? I think you could make more of an argument on the first one, or at least, xi//yao and NMJ are part of their own narrative in the text and often show up together. But in terms of the actual relationship, it's the second question I'm interested in here, and I think the answer is very much no.

First of all, a note on timelines. In MDZS, LXC and JGY knew each other for about seventeen years; they were sworn brothers with NMJ for about four. To put this another way, they were sworn brothers with NMJ for less than a quarter of their overall time together. Moreover, they had significant time without NMJ before they all became sworn brothers, as well as after his death. Now, much of their relationship is revealed to us through Empathy, which necessarily limits us to when NMJ was alive, and moreover shows us only those of their moments together that he happens to see, so it's understandable that these years dominate our view, but I do think it's important to remember.

Okay, now let's consider what we see of their relationship. Given how much of it we see through NMJ's eyes, it's in fact remarkable how much it isn't about him. In the first conversation we see them have together, LXC is proposing that MY stop being NMJ's deputy and go serve his father in Langya (though only after confirming that's still what MY wants, note—and which he knows MY had wanted because MY literally told him!). When MY says he does want it but he owes NMJ, LXC says he thinks NMJ will understand but volunteers to talk with NMJ himself if he doesn't. Neither of them have told NMJ they know each other; after NMJ comes in, when he seeks to find out how they do, asking LXC and then ordering MY to speak after LXC refuses, they don't tell him. I'm not saying either of them are unhappy with NMJ here—quite the contrary!—but there's no sign they see the other, or their relationship with each other, fundamentally in terms of him. (For a close reading of the scene, as ever, I recommend confusion-and-more's post here.)

Furthermore, in MDZS, after MY flees from NMJ in Langya and becomes a spy, he starts sending LXC letters with information, and LXC works out who it is. As with pretty much everything we see about them, this suggests a quite astonishing intimacy—that MY was able to trust that LXC would work it out, and that LXC did. Not only did NMJ not know who the spy was, in MDZS he didn't know there was a spy at all—LXC concealed it from him entirely. Now, this is obviously very solid practice for spies, but again—you have xiyao together, and NMJ apart. (I'll also note that in MDZS LXC is exchanging blows with NMJ sword to saber until the very end of the post-Sun Palace confrontation, even after MY steps forward; he definitely does not seem to think that NMJ has any sort of right, here.)

At the Phoenix Mountain Hunt, we see them together but, again, not with NMJ, and there's no suggestion that LXC had socialized with him particularly—JGY is aware of how much prey he's taken, but of course JGY is running the hunt. Then when they both go off at the end of the scene to expand the hunting grounds, LXC asks LWJ if he'd like to help, but there's zero suggestion that they're going to seek out NMJ, even though he's part of the reason JGY needs to expand the hunting grounds.

In chapter 73, LXC and JGY are talking after the conference. Then NMJ comes over and comments disapprovingly about JGY. Again, LXC doesn't actually speak a single word after NMJ joins them. This... really does not suggest perceiving him and JGY as fundamentally part of that triad, imho.

The guqin scene: LXC and JGY are very much focused on each other. Only LXC talks with NMJ at all, and only once, briefly, answering his objection. NMJ is described as looking up before his objection, which suggests to me that he/wasn't/ looking up before. Meanwhile LXC and JGY are complimenting each other's playing, LXC is offering to teach him exclusive teachings, and JGY is telling LXC about his mother. You could reasonably say LXC teaching JGY the Song of Clarity is or is partly about NMJ—his desire again for them to reconcile—but in their interactions they are focused on each other to an almost absurd extent, and not NMJ.

The discussion conference mentioned in chapter 30? We're told NMJ wasn't originally planning to go; it seems likely that we would have been told if the same was true of LXC, given that LWJ is the one telling us about it. So, again, we have JGY and LXC together, and NMJ only coming in for outside reasons.

At the beginning of the stairs conflict, when NMJ comes in and calls JGY out, we see that JGY and LXC are discussing something, with "notes of all colours" on the desk before them. WWX is later going to realize they're discussing the watchtowers, which even now, well before he's Jin-zongzhu, JGY is trying to convince his father to build; there's no sign, on the other hand, that NMJ even knows what they're working on.

Their last interaction before NMJ's death /is/ about NMJ, with JGY very upset and LXC defending the idea that NMJ hasn't rejected JGY completely. But again this doesn't suggest that they view their relationship fundamentally in terms of their relationship with NMJ, and as we've seen it's not what they're usually talking about.

I talk here about two patterns of 3//zun interaction in the Empathy chapters: broadly, MY/JGY and LXC talking privately and NMJ coming and interrupting them, and NMJ attacking MY/JGY, and LXC intervening.

Looking over their interactions, the text does not, to me, suggest that LXC and JGYview their relationship fundamentally in terms of NMJ or of 3//zun.

And again—LXC doesn't bring up NMJ in the temple, and he only reacts to NMJ-as-NMJ three brief times.

Now, it is of course true that JGY calls LXC er-ge as a sign of closeness, and that he's 'er-ge' because NMJ is the first brother. However, a few points.

First, I would argue that it's a recurring theme in MDZS (and /especially/ for JGY) that the form of a relationship doesn't necessarily match what the relationship actually is; the form, therefore, might be an interesting point to consider, but it must be considered in light of the evidence we have about their actual relationship.

Second, JGY calls LXC er-ge a full thirteen times in the temple chapters. Once in chapter 99, when he's responding to LXC about JL; twice in chapter 100, discussing NHS; in chapter 105, three times leading up to his explanation of the letter; six full times when answering LXC's questions in chapter 106; and then once in chapter 108 when he is literally asking LXC for protection from NMJ's fierce corpse.

Once and only once, on the last er-ge in chapter 105, does LXC respond to being called er-ge, though we're told he did so earlier off-page. And—well, look at the paragraph:

His tone was more than earnest. Ever since he captured Lan XiChen, he’d indeed been treating him with respect. At this point, Lan XiChen wasn’t able to turn against him yet. He could only sigh, “Sect Leader Jin, I have already said, when you went your own way to scheme such havoc at Burial Mound, that there was no longer the need to call me ‘Brother.’”

This is not only not framed as an essential rejection, it's framed as explicitly /not/ that: "Lan XiChen wasn't able to turn against him yet." And again, as I pointed out in my post, we're explicitly given a reason for it that has absolutely nothing to do with NMJ! 'Don't call me er-ge because you killed da-ge' would be very natural; the fact that it's explicitly not about that suggests strongly to me that they simply don't think of 'er-ge' in terms of its relation to NMJ, despite the form.

#ship negativity cw #that damn bingo post #a gentle warmth filling the deepest of needs #profound philosophical differences #we can't change places #anger burned in his heart #the best of men #more than one tag could contain #long meta

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originlist · 2 years

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@inheroic спросил(а):

(lilac) inquiring minds (yako) want to know: did baby seimei exist

lilac : what was your muse’s childhood like ? how has their upbringing affected them as they’ve aged ?

send me hc asks so i can warm up my writing brain

a child stands in a room, looking blankly over it. freshly organized, all in place as it should be. he stood in the same spot with the same expression the entire time as two minor imps kowtowed and cleaned, doing his chores in an effort to escape his hold, have their apology accepted.

his mother finds him, because she’s the most sensitive when things are amiss. "haruaki,” she says to him, and (seimei) looks up at her now. he knows she can see the oni. his eyes are like hers— not in colour, not in expression, but with the sense to anyone that they can see anything. “what are you doing?”

he looks over at the forced-shikigami. seimei knows the question wasn’t exactly literal. “they came and tried to tease me.” he idly scratches at the base of his ear. (at this point they are human ears, at this point his natural form is superficially human. at this point he is still called haruaki.) “i got tired of listening to them talk.”

his mother kneels before him and the oni immediately switch to pestering her, requesting she intercede on their behalf. seimei removes their voices instantly with a single gesture. bugs aren’t worth being mad at, but they’re also not worth allowing to buzz around when they’re not welcome. “dear,” his mother says gently, and seimei notes distantly that she seems to be a little sad. “just because you have a skill doesn’t mean you can use it to be unkind. if you can simply shoo them off, you should.”

seimei doesn’t understand, but nods regardless. it will be noted. not understood, but obeyed. he releases his bindings on the imps and, before the can even deliver any comment, banishes them.

his mother begins to make arrangements to have him sent to train with someone in the onmyoryu the next day.

seimei’s childhood was strange. he was an odd, friendless child, his inhumanity apparent from day one. he cried little. he laughed less. his eyes have been strange and his attention tended to unnerve others— while he can see quite a lot, he does not understand very much. he was a child with remarkable spiritual power but no understanding of how to use it and lacked a basic sense of empathy or sympathy.

he was close with his mother primarily, as she was best able to connect with her strange son, while his father respected that seimei had power that he would not be able to understand, despite being an onmyoji himself. his mother was who sent him to train with bureau officials and under the kamo family.

it was seimei’s own actions that banished his mother from humanity, though inadvertently. he saw her inhumanity and tried to mimic her. like the crane wife, once her inhumanity was forced into the open, she must leave. seimei— did not understand this either, and because of this cannot feel personally apologetic for his mistake, since he feels it was human rules that was in the wrong here and not himself.

much of haruaki’s childhood was spent training or with some supernatural entities. his mother left before he was older than eleven, and after she left he had about zero people he was able to connect to, but at least by then she had imparted that he should listen to his teachers and abide by the idea that ‘those who have power should use it to care for humanity, as the purpose of strength is to protect those who lack it’. these cores still stick with him, warped as his expressions of them may be. it also influenced his preference for keeping supernatural company instead of human, connecting with a sum zero of full-humans since childhood.

this is part of why his default form has switched from human to fox, and why his true body remains on the reverse side of the world with yokai, as it’s easier for him to exist like that these days. his childhood is the story of attempted humanity realizing that the closest he can get is taking its shape and watching from afar.

his memories of his childhood are rather patchy, as he lost the parts of him that were ‘haruaki’ and those parts were the forefront while young.

#inheroic #headcanon : seimei #long post

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feralphoenix · 3 years

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HOWMST BELL THE CAT? - A treatise on one aspect of how the Pale King sealed the Radiance

sup hollow knight fandom, i’m back with the picante takes again after having Noticed A Thing.

as with my previous essays i’ll put this guy up on dreamwidth later for accessibility purposes, since my layout text may be too small for high-res pc users. i will attach that in a reblog at a later point.

CONTENT WARNINGS FOR TONIGHT’S PROGRAM: This essay discusses canon-typical body horror and bodily boundary violations, with some side mentions of colonialism.

all game screencaps are mine. the screencap of the wiki is from the “developer notes” (style guide) section of the “cut content” page.

ALSO: if youre from a christian cultural upbringing (whether currently practicing, agnostic/secular, or atheist now), understand that some of what i’m discussing here may challenge you. if thinking thru the implications of this particular part of hollow knight worldbuilding/lore is distressing for you, PLEASE only approach this essay when youre in a safe mindset & open to listening, and ask the help of a therapist or anti-racism teacher/mentor to help you process your thoughts & feelings. just like keep in mind that youre listening to an ethnoreligiously marginalized person and please be respectful here or wherever else youre discussing this dang essay, ty

HOWMST BELL THE CAT? - A treatise on one aspect of how the Pale King sealed the Radiance

We understand more or less how the Pale King’s plan was supposed to work. Stuff Radiance into a no-thoughts-head-empty and silent Pure Vessel to trap, isolate, and silence her, both putting an end to the Infection and killing her for good. Stick that vessel in the Black Egg, which harnesses Void BS to both keep the vessel alive indefinitely and to cover Hallownest (and its neighbors) in a time-defying stasis so that the Pale King could successfully hoard his favorite shiny FOREVER, threatened by nothing. Then put a seal on the Black Egg to prevent anyone from getting inside and harming said vessel while it’s strung up and helpless. And THEN, put protective seals on the anchors (the Dreamers) to the Black Egg seal to protect them from any external harm: The stasis means the Dreamers won't die of old age or starvation.

All in all, a pretty foolproof plan!

...except that the Dreamers are still vulnerable to having their minds breached with the moths’ magic... and the Pale King failed to take into account that his Pure Vessel was a person actually and the amount of toxic stress his training/upbringing put on them made them REALLY POORLY SUITED FOR THEIR JOB... and also that killing 99% of his million children and turning the Abyss into a landfill for baby corpses would take enough of an emotional toll on his wife and #1 enabler the White Lady that she would walk out on him, ensuring he’d only ever have one shot at this whole deal...

Basically it’s the sort of plan that an emotionally constipated, low-empathy sort of guy who pours all his points into INT and has a big fat zero for WIS might think is foolproof. It has big holes in it that the Pale King did not consider to be big holes until he got owned by the various consequences of his actions and fell down said big holes, making the shocked pikachu face all the while. Rip in die, my guy.

Anyway, there’s a lot of incidental information scattered about the game that gives us more insight into the stages of TPK’s plan. Looking at Monomon’s notes in the Archive suggests that she was probably involved in designing the Black Egg; the hidden room in the Weavers’ den points to their being the ones to blueprint the Dreamer seal; the White Palace’s hidden rooms reveal both TPK’s morbid fascination with the Void and his mea culpa wrt his motives and the Path of Pain is certainly suggestive of a lot of things. The White Lady tells us straight out that she walked out on the Pale King because she wanted no part in a second vessel batch, but how TPK didn’t handle that is only revealed via map design and some incidental dialogue from the Old Stag.

This stuff presents us with, if not a full picture, then at least a decent connect-the-dots of certain aspects of crater politics and Pale Court drama at the time, and how exactly TPK’s plan came together.

But there is still one glaring question that these cookie crumbs do not provide us an answer to:

Who shall bell the cat?

How did TPK et al manage to stuff Radiance into Hollow in the first place?

This is the subject of a lot of memes and jokes within the fandom because it's so absurd. Radiance fuckin hates that dude! She’s probably gonna be pretty wary of him considering how he stole her people in the first place! And considering the anti-colonialism slant of the writing - beyond the general sympathetic view Team Cherry gives of each indigenous bug society, Seer makes it very clear that Radiance has very good reason to take violent action against Hallownest - the answer is probably not something like “she’s just that stupid” or “she rolled a crit fail”.

Well... I have an idea of how TPK managed to get Radiance in there. It raises about as many questions as it answers, mind, but it may be someplace to start.

[desc: the hollow knight's entry in the hunter’s journal. top text/ghost’s comment reads: “Fully grown Vessel, carrying the plague’s heart within its body.” bottom text/hunter’s comment says: “The old King of Hallownest... he must have been desperate to save his crumbling little world. The sacrifices he imposed on others... all for nothing.”]

Here we have Hollow’s bestiary entry. Most of what we’re concerned with here is the top text, which says the seal has literally trapped Radiance inside their body. (First of all, ew, TPK.)

We already knew Radiance is literally actually inside Hollow, though: The Infection is leaking out of their body, and to get to fight Radiance, Ghost has to go traipsing into their sibling’s mind. So what’s significant about that here?

[desc: screencap of the outside of the black egg temple, post-infected crossroads. there are large infection blobs in the foreground and background, connected to each other by veins that come from inside the temple.]

The infection blobs are weird and get weirder if you kill enough Lightseeds for the Hunter to tell you their origin story, i.e. that the literal actual sun has been having a very long bad day and cried a lot, and some of the liquid coalesced into living flesh, and some of that living flesh took on a mind of its own to become Lightseeds. (Hollow Knight is a WILD place.)

Lightseeds are Radiance’s accidental children and share a lot of her traits: They are harmless creatures that try to avoid conflict if possible but if pushed will get creative and find ways to fight regardless of their physical limitations. (For the Lightseeds this involves hiding inside Broken Vessel’s corpse and puppeting it around to try to stab you.) They even have her same distinctive yell. And according to the Hunter, they’re born from the infection blobs. These enemies only ever appear in the Ancient Basin, which both Radiance and the Void have ransacked, and in the Infected Crossroads.

The infection blobs are connected to and sort of a weird extension of Radiance because the Infection itself is sort of a weird extension of Radiance. In the game’s internal style guide Team Cherry explains that the Infection started as an accident, not her original intention but what happened when Hallownest tried to block her out.

[desc: screencap from the wiki of style notes attached to seer that describe a sketch of radiance’s finalized backstory. text reads: “The moth tribe were (perhaps) descended from Radiance. However, the King convinced them somehow to seal Radiance away. I guess so he could rule Hallownest with his singular vision, as a god/monarch with no other gods. The moths sealed Radiance away by forgetting about her. Hallownest was born and flourished. However, the memory of Radiance lingered (eg [sic] the statue at hallownest’s crown) and soon she began to reappear in dreams and starting [sic] exerting influence. The King and the bugs of Hallownest resisted this memory/power and it started to manifest as the Infection. Thus the first attempt to seal Radiance failed, and the King had to try another method - the Vessel.” emphasis mine.]

Some fans have posited the blobs as deposits of pupa juice, but given Team Cherry's description of the Infection’s origins I don’t know how likely that is. Since the Void also sticks its squamous tentacles into things via veiny looking things and the Nightmare’s Heart has similar veiny nonsense in the Nightmare Realm, I wonder if it isn’t just a Meddly God Shit thing in general.

Whatever the case, the blobs are very much connected to/a part of Radiance.

And when you’re hanging around them, you will notice two things: They pulse like they’re part of a circulatory system, and you can hear Radiance's heartbeat emanating from them.

[desc: screencap of the game’s title screen with the infected menu theme in use: a glowing orange ball at the center of a lot of black tendony webbing.]

Let’s also think of the Infected menu theme, which you unlock after getting either of the endings where Ghost takes over from Hollow and absorbs Radiance out of them. Ghost is infected and then sealed inside the Black Egg in Hollow's place. It’s suggested by the animation’s staging that Radiance briefly struggles to get out of Ghost after absorbed but is ultimately stuck in them, at which point the seal is reestablished.

If you haven’t used the Infected menu theme yourself, the... interesting thing about it is that it moves organically. The light ball expands and contracts - y’know, sort of like a living organ - and so does the black webby stuff around it.

Also, Radiance’s heartbeat is included in the theme's ambiance.

[desc: hollow’s bestiary entry again]

To cut to the chase, this part of Hollow’s bestiary entry that says “the plague’s heart”? I don’t think that’s just Ghost/Team Cherry being poetic. I think there’s a good chance it’s LITERAL.

I think TPK is the sort of person who could cram a native woman’s literal living beating heart inside his own child’s body so they can use it as... say, a focus to absorb and trap her mind/spirit inside their body, too. Mr. No Cost Too Great is capable of a lot in the name of keeping other people’s claws off his Big Shiny kingdom. This is kind of his whole brand.

But also, like, yuck.

This fits the worldbuilding too; generally speaking Hollow Knight is Body Horror City. Also there’s the case of Grimm: While he and Radiance are loose counterparts at best with WILDLY disparate outlooks and ethoses, his existence serves as precedent that a Higher Being’s heart specifically can be separate from the rest of them.

As I said before, though, this DOES raise as many questions as it answers. If this is another piece in the puzzle of how TPK belled the cat, we’re now left wondering how he got Radiance’s heart to use as Hollow's focus to begin with.

We know he has access to the Dream Realm because that’s ultimately where he hid when Hollow’s seal failed, but who did he send to do the stealing and how did they get away with it? (TPK certainly wouldn’t have gone; his own life’s the one cost too great for him to willingly pay.) Was Radiance’s heart separate from her like the Nightmare’s Heart, or was it a part of her body? (I think the latter is more likely just from her personality; Grimm’s hidden heart makes sense because of how he keeps even his own servants at arm’s length emotionally, whereas Radiance is all heart all the time. I think this makes more sense with their equal opposites schtick too. But this would make for a WAY riskier mission.)

I can imagine all kinds of possibilities. None of them are definitive, but the thing they have in common is that they are all Awful... and how on-brand that is for Hollow Knight as a whole is, maybe, the most persuasive argument for It’s Literally Actually Her Real Physical Heart there could be.

#hollow knight #hollow knight spoilers #hollow knight meta #the radiance #hk radiance #not sure if i should tag tpk bc i doubt therell be anything in here his stans will enjoy lol #long post under cut -#essay

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flamediel · 3 years

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Wether u like it or not, u do not own the dread locks. You are not anymore black than Richard is, and if he decided that he wants to share a piece of his culture with his gf IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. They are a couple and couples share their culture. Also, u must have zero empathy being this pressed over one goddamn lock of hers, not even an entire head.

Ain't nobody denying that POC are being discriminated against. Heck, I would know myself a lil sth about that. What does she has to do with it?? Until u see her personally shaming a POC for having dreadlocks you have no right to bully her for participating in her loved one's culture.

And all the talk about "Yeah I feel like HE can wear it-" oh hell nah, do u srsly think he's waiting for ur approval?! He, who is of colour himself and has even activly participated in pro-black activism. Are u listening to yoself? gurl- u too young for this ... grow a sense of humanity first

ok, hello. I've let this sit for a while, but there's a lot that needs to be said about it, so I'm gonna say it. First of all, @cncolover27, when someone tells non-black people not to reply/comment on an issue that is being brought up on their blog, you listen. secondly, when you get so out of line that you personally get blocked for your behavior, you don't go on anon to write out hate mail. you shut up and listen to all the BLACK PEOPLE correcting you.

being "of color" does not give you a voice in black issues. you do NOT understand the struggle black people face, because frankly, the treatment we have received not just in the hands of white people but of every other race is abhorrent. I do not care where you are from, or what you have experienced. In the same way I will shut up and listen about the issues of Asian, Jewish, Native American, etc. communities, I expect yall to shut up and listen to black people. Now, I am going to address some of the points you made here. not because I think you by any means deserve a response, but because I know that responding to these points may help educate you and others.

"if he decided that he wants to share a piece of his culture with his gf IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. They are a couple and couples share their culture."

A non-black person wearing dreads IS my business. white (and white-passing, seeing as you continue to insist Dougs isn't white) people have a long history of appropriating hair, and while you may think Dougs isn't a part of that, she is, regardless of intention. Cultural appropriation is about the power dynamic. When people with power and privilege decide to 'validate' cultural elements that oppressed people have long been marginalized for by playing it off as a 'trendy' and 'cute' new thing, they effectively remove the cultural context from that element and trivialize its meaning. as I've previously explained, hair discrimination has long been used as a tool by non-black people to directly oppress us. you can do five minutes of googling and you will learn all about that. When Dougs, being nonblack, wears dreads, she contributes to the trivialization of black culture and hair. it's perfectly acceptable for people to be insulted by this, even if it's "just" one lock. someone speaking out about this does not mean that they have low empathy. if anything, your refusal to consider the views and feelings of black people in this conversation (not just in your opinion but in your insistence in forcing it on me when I have repeatedly enforced a boundary) says more about your empathy than mine.

"What does she has to do with [people shaming black people for wearing dreads]?? "

what doesn't she have to do with it? as a privileged person in America, she's in a position to advicate against racism and discrimination. I haven't seen her support the CROWN Act or speak out against laws making dreads a fireable offense. Hell, there is not a single post on her Instagram in support of black lives matter. She is not wearing dreads to support and appreciate the culture, she is doing it as a 'fun fashion trend' she's gonna take off the minute it becomes inconvenient for her.

If she truly wanted to appreciate black culture and hair, or "participate in her loved one's culture" she could maybe learn to take care of his hair. That's not only much more intimate, it's appreciative instead of appropriative. She would also do the bare minimum to advocate for black people. But instead of doing any of that, she chooses to appropriate a hairstyle she has no business wearing, that will literally make her hair mold and fall off, and for what? a chic summer trend? sorry, that's unacceptable.

"And all the talk about "Yeah I feel like HE can wear it-" oh hell nah, do u srsly think he's waiting for ur approval?! He, who is of colour himself and has even activly participated in pro-black activism."

Let's get something straight. Richard cannot wear dreads because he is "of color". he can wear them because he is BLACK. yes, there's a difference. and again, you are inserting yourself into an intercommunal conversation. No one was saying he "couldn't" wear it. people were saying it made them uncomfortable. and seeing as hair is a touchy subject in the black community, and we are not a monolith, there is an important conversation to be had about that within the black community. as someone who isn't a part of that community, you have no right to weigh in on it. it's frankly none of your business how we address our feelings towards our hair, especially after centuries of non-black people policing it and harassing us for it.

I also want to point out something ironic (but not surprising) in your messages. for a non-black person, who has clearly shown their antiblackness, you are also using a LOT of AAVE. maybe the reason you want us to leave Dougs alone is that you are just as guilty of cultural appropriation, and you feel threatened. Maybe you need to sit down and consider why you have such strong feelings about the black community speaking out about an issue that affects them. You're incredibly out of line, and I think some self-reflection would do you good.

Of course, you could not resist ending your message with another baseless insult. you say I am too young to be speaking on this and need to learn some humanity. As someone who knows literally nothing about me and my "humanity", I beg to disagree. the only thing here that's inhuman is that you, a 20-something, feel the need to go SO HARD for a white girl you don't even know who is being criticized by the black community for a hairstyle that has LONG been considered appropriative on white people. We are not bullying Dougs. we are not in her Instagram DMs or comments screaming at her. we are having a conversation, in our small corner of the internet, about something that bothered us. if this affects you so deeply, I suggest you leave.

#asks #cnco #richard camacho #antiblack racism tw #honestly at this point if you follow cncolover or allow them to follow you/don't have them blocked #just don't interact with my posts #they don't need to be seeing my content please and thank you

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backofthebookshelf · 4 years

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One of the nice things about the way the TMA fandom has reached full large-fandom levels of toxicity is that I no longer care if people get mad at me for my opinions on characters! So, some Georgie meta.

(Because fandom is and always has been Like That, I do feel the need to clarify here that I love Georgie, she's one of my favorite characters, characters are more interesting because of their flaws, and I have no investment in the idea that women or female characters are inherently better or more emotionally competent than men or male characters. If I talk a lot about her relationship with Jon, it's because Jon is our point of view character and also the person she interacts with the most. Also, this rambles, sorry.)

I've been thinking about the Season 4 Jon Trauma post and how much I liked the way it talked about Georgie, and it's convinced me that if Georgie could feel fear, she's the one who'd be most afraid of Jon out of all of them. She's the one protagonist we have whose only interaction with the powers has been as a direct victim of them. She doesn't know what they feel like from the inside, like Jon and Melanie; she doesn't know what they're like when they're someone you love, like Basira; she doesn't even know what they're like as petty middle management, like Martin and Tim. What she knows is that one time a monster ate her (only) friend and traumatized her so badly she spent a year in a suicidal depression.

And now her ex - and yes, Jon and Georgie have a remarkably comfortable relationship in the beginning of season three, but they're still exes and they broke up for reasons, even if we don't know exactly what they are - has turned up on her doorstep, shaking and possibly bloody, with nowhere else to go and no access to his home. He's clearly lying about what's going on. He repeatedly violates her house rules. And then he tells her that he's turning into one of those same kinds of monsters that traumatized her and ate her friend. It's clearly enough to override any remaining affection she had for him, and by any definition he has now positioned himself as a trigger.

(Through no fault of his own: the only real response he has to Georgie's statement is "I can't believe you didn't tell me." She's the one who assumes that he Knew, somehow, that she also had a statement; she's the one who suggests he had alternatives. Both suggestions are plausible but we don't actually know for certain that either are true.)

But Georgie isn't afraid of Jon because Georgie can't be afraid -at least, according to her. I'm not sure how much I believe this in the grand scheme of things; it seems like an extremely unlikely mechanism for one of the fears to have. It seems much more likely to me that she's just never met anything as terrifying as that encounter was, and her subjective sense of fear has been massively recalibrated. In which case not only meeting but having hosted in your home another monster who self-describes as similar to the one that was so terrifying that literal threats to your life are no longer distressing would...probably ping. But she's conceptualized herself as a person who doesn't feel fear; it's even possible that was part of her recovery, identifying this as a possible benefit of what would otherwise have been a universally terrible, soul-breaking experience. She looked existential terror in the face and survived, and came out of it a person who cannot be afraid of anything left on this earth. That's kind of a superhero origin story, and I can't blame her for it. I think anyone with a mental illness has at least tried to find ways in which their suffering has made them a better, stronger person.

But whether she's suppressing and rationalizing away any fear she feels or she genuinely doesn't feel any of it, she does frequently behave as though her lack of fear gives her a more objective view of the situation than anyone else. I don't believe she actually uses the word "just," but it drips from her every interaction with Jon after Dead Woman Walking. Why doesn't he just stop reading the statements? Why doesn't he just quit? And, in Zombie, I honestly can't interpret her reaction to Jon when he wakes up from his coma as anything other than, Why doesn't he just die? If he hates being this so much, if he really doesn't want to be a monster, why doesn't he just die?

I really would like to think that it goes without saying that this is, at the very least, a massive failure of empathy, but she's so explicit about it and fandom spent so much time basically agreeing with her that apparently it doesn't. Not only is Georgie not afraid of the situation, but (and this is the part that makes me wonder if she's not rationalizing, rather than being supernaturally unable to feel fear) she can't possibly fathom how afraid everyone else is, and she never tries. She persists in treating the whole awful situation, as @findingfeather's post says, like this is a mundane problem with people who are refusing to help themselves, rather than a supernatural trap that has been specifically built to be inescapable.

Now, let me be clear, even if she were talking to, say, a drug addict who nearly killed themselves because they were in denial about how much of a problem they had, her attitude would be unforgivable. But in this case Jon had no choice in whether or not to become addicted to statements; it was done to him in such a way that he didn't notice it was happening until withdrawal was already incapacitating. He also didn't have the option to leave, as Tim's extended vacation made clear. And, on top of all of that, the whole reason he was in a coma in the first place was that he was trying to save the world. (Neither he nor she knows at this point that he was doing nothing of the kind, so that's really not relevant.) And - look, when Jon came to her after the end of season two, he was asking for help. When he rejected the kind of help that she offered it was because he knew it didn't apply to the problems he actually had, but she treats that like it's his problem, which is something like offering a leg splint to a person bleeding out from a gunshot wound and getting offended when they tell you that won't work. He was very clear that what was happening scared him and he didn't know what to do about it, and her only suggestion was "walk away," which he literally could not do, for multiple reasons.

She's lucky Jon has pretty much precisely zero self-worth at this point, because anyone else would have cut her off completely for behaving like a fucking asshole.

I say "she's lucky" because frankly, even though she says that she wants nothing more to do with him, she turns up at least twice in the Institute after that, with the excuse that she's picking up Melanie to take her to therapy. I don't know about you, but I have never once gone to someone's workplace to pick them up and gone snooping around inside, and no matter how fascinatingly weird that workplace is, I definitely can't imagine doing so when I know that workplace also contains a person I have definitely decided I never want to speak to again. She goes into the Archives, for Christ's sake, and she listens outside Jon's office door for long enough to catch a bit of the recording before letting herself in (so it's very clear she knows who's in there).

Now I'm not trying to paint her as a monster here; Georgie would hardly be the first person to have second thoughts about cutting off someone they still care about, or to break that boundary that they set themselves when they realize they do still want to know how that person is doing. But the fact is that she positions herself as having the moral high ground in every single discussion they have and that's just not true. She is not literally a supernatural monster, true, but if season four did anything with the concept of monsters it was breaking down the difference between "supernaturally driven no-longer-human" and "person capable of caring and empathy." (That's a whole different meta, though, one that I will get around to someday.) Not that Jon is any better, in that encounter specifically, at dealing with a complicated and contentious relationship - he deliberately goads her, even if he doesn't use compulsion. But that's the thing, they're both exes who have had a falling out and aren't handling it very well. Neither of them is in the right.

All of which makes me really wonder what her relationship with Melanie is actually like. We don't actually see hardly any of it directly, and of what we do, well, Melanie sounds like she's still high on painkillers, so it's hard to take that as an indication of anything. But given that people (who are not intentionally trying to manipulate those around them) tend to, y'know, be fundamentally the same person in their various relationships, though it may manifest in different ways, we can probably make some guesses.

I have always been bothered by, and I really can't ignore, the fact that they were getting together at the same time that Melanie was doing what Georgie has been demanding of Jon since season three: she did whatever it took to get out. I have to wonder if Georgie knows about the nonconsensual surgery part of Melanie's process of getting out, and if she does, if she understands how vital it was. I certainly wouldn't be surprised, if she does know, that she's managed to compartmentalize it: Jon inflicted this terrible trauma on Melanie, Melanie escaped the entity that took her over. (Subconscious implication: Jon is a monster; Melanie is better than him.) I would be very surprised if Georgie is interested at all in the fine distinctions between entities; she's shown no interest in learning what is actually happening to anyone in this situation beyond "it's bad and they should get out of it." But it's relevant, because by the time Melanie makes the decision to blind herself, she's in a much different position than Jon, enslaved by an entity but not consumed by one. She herself admitted to Jon that she would never have voluntarily escaped from the Slaughter.

And given how difficult Melanie finds it to talk about any of this - you can hear her dragging the words out from behind her teeth in her conversation with Jon in Flesh, truly incredible acting by Lydia Nicholas, my god - if Georgie doesn't want to hear it? I can't imagine Melanie insisting. Yes, Melanie is going to therapy, but let me tell you, I've been going to therapy for twelve years now and I have yet to have several of the important conversations my therapists have insisted I have. That shit is hard. But I can imagine a scenario where, having been told by her therapist (who, remember, doesn't have the first idea what Melanie is actually going through, because Melanie isn't telling her about the supernatural so she has to leave out a lot of really relevant details) that she ought to tell her friend/potential girlfriend/new girlfriend about these things, Melanie attempts to bring it up, Georgie says kind and reassuring things and refuses to let her clarify any of the details, and Melanie gives up in relief, thinking, well, I tried. Super valid all around, but it doesn't mean that Georgie has any clearer picture of what Melanie's traumas actually look like, never mind Jon's. There's no world in which I can imagine Georgie actually internalizing the idea that Melanie loved the Slaughter when it had her, and she would gladly have stayed with it if Jon and Basira hadn't intervened.

In Georgie's eyes, Melanie is being a Good Victim. She was hurt but she was strong; she fought it until she won; now she's going to therapy and setting boundaries and trying to heal. She got away.

(Except, of course, she didn't, because as of The Eye Opens no one has gotten away, because this is the entire world now. We have no idea how this has affected Melanie. Presumably she's out of reach of the Eye, given that Jon can't see her or Georgie (and there's some evidence on the side of Georgie's encounter genuinely having stripped her of fear, if she's also invisible to the Eye), but she spent a long time under the influence of the Slaughter. It had her firmly enough that her attacking Jon was enough to give him his Slaughter scar. If nothing else, Melanie certainly hasn't had her fear removed, and talk about a situation bound to retraumatize someone who had such a visceral revulsion to being trapped that Elias chose it as his mechanism of control over her. Melanie probably doesn't look like a Good Victim any more, and I'd bet her relationship with Georgie is suffering some serious strain because of it.)

We don't know when exactly Melanie and Georgie got together; the last time one of them mentions the other is, I'm pretty sure, when Georgie tells Jon that Melanie is back from India. So we know that Georgie and Melanie were friends; that's good, that's a good foundation for a romantic relationship. At the very least they know each other, they have some idea of what to expect. I'd be surprised if they were dating during that season 3/4 hiatus period, though, or frankly any time before Melanie's surgery, just because Melanie seems much too consumed with rage to have room for any other emotions, and I can't imagine Georgie putting up with that.

What seems way more likely to me is this: Melanie comes back from India, arranges to meet Georgie for drinks. Probably they don't talk about anything serious; possibly they talk about Jon, honestly, since we know Melanie was looking for him and Georgie talked to him about Melanie, but very likely in the same "stuck-up pompous ass" way that Melanie talks about Jon in early seasons. (I bet Melanie's roasts are amazing.) Shortly after that Melanie joins the Magnus Institute and then, very likely, either she never tells Georgie about it and therefore they don't talk much or she does tell Georgie about it and Georgie tells her that place is bad news and she won't have anything to do with it and they don't talk at all, until, whichever way that went, the Unknowing happens and Tim dies and Jon winds up in a coma and everything goes to shit. We know Georgie visits Jon in the hospital; we don't know if Melanie does, but frankly it seems unlikely. If they did cross paths during this time, it was probably very brief and superficial. Then: the surgery, and Melanie's recovery.

I'll be honest, I have a hard time imagining Melanie deciding on her own that she should go to therapy. It's possible Basira suggested it, but it really does sound like a Georgie thing to do. So I picture something like this: from the way Basira talks it sounds like they've all been pretty much living in the Archives for a while, and on top of that everyone in the Archives has just badly violated Melanie's trust, so Melanie pulls up her Facebook DMs and talks to the only other person she has. You were right, she says, this place is terrible, I can't handle it, there's no one here I can trust and I'm so alone. And Georgie, who is generous with help and advice (so long as it's accepted) and (like anyone) weak to being told she was right about something, starts talking to her. We know Georgie's got good boundaries, and we know she doesn't want to hear details about what's going on in the Institute, so I can see her saying, I can talk to you, I would love to talk to you, but not about this. For that you need a therapist.

So Melanie gets a therapist, and the prospect of going out amongst the monsters they know are stalking the Institute without that protective shield of rage (never mind the emotional vulnerability of going to therapy in the first place) makes public transit an unthinkable option, so she asks Georgie to take her, and she does, and she keeps taking her to therapy, which is, as far as we know, the only time Melanie leaves the Archives in season four, until she blinds herself and escapes it completely.

And so they have this relationship that's built up almost entirely around Melanie's trauma - with a foundation of friendship, certainly, so I do think that if they are willing to work through it they could make it a working, healthy relationship, but (and again this isn't stated in canon but is my speculation based on what we know about these characters) it is a romantic relationship that's built around the process of Melanie recovering from multiple traumas. Ones that we know that Georgie a) doesn't know many details about, and b) more importantly, refuses to know any details about. Now, I have no experience with romantic relationships and serious trauma; I might be wildly off base here. But. I know that boundaries are important and I know that trust is also important. And if Georgie is holding similar boundaries with Melanie that she has with Jon (and, as I went into excruciating detail about earlier, she has very solid emotional reasons to protect herself with those boundaries), that's drawing a hard line around what's basically the past two to three years of Melanie's life, and undeniably both the worst and most important things that have ever happened to her. That seems...difficult to manage in the long term.

(This is a bit more of a stretch, more of the germ of a fic idea than an argument I'm prepared to defend, but I also would not be surprised if Georgie told Melanie that she wouldn't date her while she was still working at the Institute. That's a very reasonable boundary, and it's good motivation - and probably healthy motivation, I do like the idea that Melanie had something to reach toward in escaping the Institute, not just the desperate flight from - but it's also something of an ultimatum. Which is not inherently bad, but it is the kind of thing that can fester, given other problems.)

Now it's entirely possible that Georgie isn't that internally consistent. People aren't! (See: Basira's attitude toward Daisy vs her attitude toward Jon in season four.) Maybe she's more flexible about being willing to listen to Melanie, maybe she's starting to understand some of what was happening and how genuinely impossible a situation it really was. But that has to be a struggle for her, too; it's not a perfect, sweet, unconditionally good situation that teaches you that you've been unfair to the point of cruelty to someone you used to care about. And by the time the apocalypse rolls around, Melanie is, if she's lucky, just barely able to say she's healed from the plain physical trauma of blinding, never mind all the other baggage. They've got to be having a rough fucking time of it, at the very least, even if you assume that they're suddenly both the kind of people who will sit still and listen supportively and talk honestly about their own messy and complicated emotions, when neither of them have been that kind of person before.

(Another disclaimer because Fandom Is Like That: This is in no way a condemnation of or argument against fluffy What the Girlfriends fic; fic is for making fluffy things that you want to happen to your faves, or building fluffy content that you desperately need for whatever reason. Gods know there are plenty of unhealthy parts of Jon and Martin's relationship that I ignore in most of my fluffy fic. This is me attempting to work through my thoughts and feelings about the relationship I see in canon in the hopes of actually being able to write some fic about these girls myself someday, because I personally can't write fic until I understand canon, and so much of them happens offscreen because they're not main characters, and they're written with such depth and complexity that you can't just slap a stereotype on them and call it good. Which is awesome! But it means I gotta do the work, and I post it because a) it's work, and this is fandom, and I want validation; and b) I'm hoping other people have insights that might also help me clarify my thinking.)

#the magnus archives #tma #georgie barker #jonathan sims #melanie king #long post #real fuckin' long post #sorry #it's a meta party #cw suicide #cw addiction

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