i wasn't around for this but i can only imagine the meltdown lmao

I feel called out

been really interested in #places these days.

"Share with me a list of your favourite songs, writers, artists, books, artworks, places, coffees, and teas", is my love language.

Sadia Hakim

Everybody is talking about ai, NFTs and OpenSea and other app platforms but failed to mention the newest addition to the crypto community. Imagine a browser that pays you bitcoins, that you can use as a team building tool.

This is not financial advice, in my honest opinion it's worth exploring. It could be ideal for you if you want to learn about bitcoin and bitcoin mining..

Plus the app is available at no cost, grab the link from my hype page and follow me, so we can share feedback and reviews on your experience with our podcast café community and culture.

Get the official crypto browser app right here

Organic LeGen Haus 💎 for the Day1s ... Digital Digest Crypto Café ☕ ©

This is a notice to everyone.

DO. NOT. GO. INTO. HEALTHCARE.

especially right now. It’s draining mentally, emotionally and physically. I’ve been a CNA/GNA for five and a half years. I’ve loved my job up until COVID hit. I loved helping people and seeing them get better, and hated crying with my coworkers when others passed. But I’ve also been hit, kicked, called slurs, been punched and given a concussion, and had my scrub top literally ripped off of me and my supervisor refused to let me go get another (even tho I live a few minutes away). Last night I explained to someone that I want them to do as much as they can, so they get better. I’ve seen them get up and do things on their own, and they begin to gaslight both me and my coworkers. Telling me that I should not be in this profession. (Note, I am one of the people that works my ass off. I’ve done 20 day stretches because of how short we were and how desperate staffing is.) that set something off in me. I broke. I helped them with what they needed and ran to the bathroom sobbing. I could not keep it together. When the director of nursing came in, I explained the situation. I explained how I feel abused at this job, we are all burnt out and I was quite literally crying for help. I explained how I almost walked out of the job. I also explained I have been in the ER and to the doctor multiple times for severe pain from my job. All I got in response was “I’m glad you didn’t”. Management doesn’t care about us. They care that the patients are content and they are getting money. I couldn’t breathe and she just stood there and stared at me. They work us shorter and shorter every day. Then beg us to come in for “bonus money” because people call out. These conditions are unbearable. We have had multiple people walk out on the job, knowing they will lose any certification they have. We have waves of people quitting every week it seems, and understandably so. The expectations are too high for such few staff. And we are given more to do every day. Whatever you do. Healthcare is not worth it anymore. It’s constant burnout and you’re never guaranteed days to yourself. There is so much more I can share. But I’ll keep it at this. If you have any questions as my experience as an aide, feel free to ask away.

This post is...kinda weird to make. In anyway I'm not invalidating anyone & just talking of my own experience w a suspicion of DID/OSDD

First of all, disclaimer - a therapist of mine, told me he had a suspicion of one of these disorder. I am not claiming to have one of them at all, I'm waiting to go to an actual professional that works with dissociative disorder before claiming to have anything! I also want to say- never talked about any head mates or anything to my therapist - just told him my experience with dissociation, without even mentioning it was dissociation (i was not sure therefore i didn't want to tell him that it was that, as I'm not a professional). Also! My experience is not something to steal & tell to your therapist to get a dissociative diagnostic. I just wanna talk about my own experience with dissociation & possible DID/OSDD.

Now, what did i tell him?

I simply told him, sometimes, i forget everything. I'm at the back of my brain, in a dark room, not able to see through my eyes. I can feel my body but in a weird way, in a blurry way. In a way where, my body does the basic tasks it needs to do to survive. My body and mouth try to socialize, seems normal, but i have no idea how what's going on. It only happens when I'm under really stressing circumstances. When i get out of it, I'm kinda lost. I know where I am, but it feels like i was not there for the longest time possible. It's like i was blocked at the moment where i was still there before going to the back of my brain, and the last 5 minutes before i went to my brain are playing over and over again while I'm not there. I have no ideas if that makes sense. It's a weird ass sensation, but i had that for the longest time i can remember of. Just, I'm not there anymore. My body is in automatic mode, then i wake up and i have control over everything again.

It's a really weird experience that i was scared to talk about for the longest time, before i met my actual psychiatrist. I was scared of it, because while on my dissociative state, people told me i was different. I acted like i didn't know them that much, or i changed my way of speaking, and yeah. Personally, i don't wanna advance on if it's DID/OSDD or not. I'm not qualified to diagnose myself (self dx is fine! As long as you do correct research and don't take all your information out of some carrd), and i personally truly think it's just some dissociation where my body goes in automatic mode, and just, change bc it needs to do the bare minimum to survive & seems normal.

There was a lot to unpack after this appointment, it was a really hard appointment. So, he diagnosed me with a dissociative disorder (NOT DID/OSDD! just dissociation), highly suspected some PTSD as he told me i had a very strong form of dissociation, and that i was practically always trauma responding to everyone & everything (I'm not sure if that makes sense tbh, so I'm not advancing myself either on if i have PTSD or not- yes I'm trauma responding a lot, but i honestly think it was a misdiagnosis, but I'm continuing to see him and we'll figure that out), and he told me about the possible DID/OSDD related to my possible PTSD.

At first, i was scared asf. I do not want to have DID/OSDD, i have friends with diagnosed DID/OSDD, and i know how bad they're struggling. I never understood people wishing to have these disorder, it's not some kind of funny roleplay, it's truly something's that is super hard to deal with. I was so scared, that i was dissociating. I can't really remember what happened at all.

In second, i decided to accept my dissociation. With or without DID/OSDD, i have a dissociative disorder. I can forget hours, days, months, years of my life, just by being to the back of my brain. It's still scary asf, but i accepted it. With or without a certain disorder, I'll still have a disorder.

Sometimes i get scared, bc i feel like someone there and I'm having conversations with my inner voice. But never, the terms "alter" or "headmates" comes in the conversation. It's just, some funky little conversation with my inner dialogue (it's not funky at all, i absolutely hate it)

But now, here's come what my friends told me when I was dissociating. I act, completely different. not in a "I'm doing the bare minimum to survive", in a way where I just totally change and i still act like a person, but differently. I apparently talk about experience i can't remember when I'm not dissociating. They told me, that it was fine. Whenever it was just a random dissociative disorder or DID/OSDD, i didn't have to act like it wasn't there. That, i could just go with it the way i always went with it, by being in the back of my brain when I'm under high stress. And it helped a lot! Because, when you scared of having a disorder, you usually either go in full denial, or convince yourself you have it to feel legitimate. But the easiest way to go through a suspicion of a disorder, is honestly, just continuing your life like you always did. Ofc, talk about ur symptoms to a professional, because a diagnosis will always help you , to figure yourself out & to deal with it.

I promise, living your life without asking you much questions about whenever you have the disorder or not, helps so so much, and make you realize that having a (future) diagnostic won't change everything drastically. You just have to live your life like you always did, DID/OSDD or not, don't pressure yourself about whenever you have it or not! Just- stay like you always did, doubt or denial wont help you.

//- i hope nothing was offensive in this post, sorry it's a long post. I just needed to get my experience with dissociation and a suspicion of DID/OSDD out on somewhere. Please - no hate, fakeclaim, or anything mean in the comments/repost. Feel free to speak about your experience on there tho, I'll be sure to read every single one of them. Also don't invalidate anyone's experience. Please take all care, systems and non systems, and drink water!

In stories and anything else I find talking about nightmares you always have the typical waking up panting/screaming/lunging forward etc etc. And trust me I’m all for that, it’s great that we have these because they can be a comfort to those going through something. But can we talk about those of us who wake up seeming as calm as ever. Those of us who wake up with their heart pounding and their skin all clammy and hot but ultimately no immediate giveaway that they’ve had a nightmare. Maybe they’ll wake in the night and not be able to get back to sleep-easily put down to just not being able to sleep, but that’s it. I have suffered from nightmares and night terrors practically my entire life, and all the trauma I’ve faced in my life certainly hasn’t helped. These days (I am now almost 17 (and yes I live in the UK so I am not a minor in case anyone actually does read this)) one of 4 things happens each night. 1) I wake up, no recollection of any kind of dream and no reason to believe I had a nightmare so I move on with my day easily. I believe that this is due to a lack of deep REM sleep as night terrors (and dreams in general) usually are when you’re in deep REM. 2) I wake up, aware I’ve had a nightmare, my body hasn’t physically reacted and I quickly forget before I even get out of bed. I believe this is because I have been out of REM sleep for long enough while still asleep that my brain has had time to block whatever nightmare it was. 3) I wake up and whole I have no recollection of a nightmare my body is reacting as if it has, heart beating fast, feeling hot etc like I’m coming out the other end of an anxiety attack. Or 4) The reason I’m up at 4 in the morning talking about nightmares. I have a nightmare I can fully remember, I feel as though I’m coming out of an anxiety attack. But there’s no heavy breathing. No shooting upright in shock as I suddenly jolt into consciousness. No screaming. Don’t get me wrong, as a child I could’ve screamed the house down over it. As a child I would run straight to the nearest set of parents (mum and step-dad) and cry my eyes out at what my sick and twisted mind created. But not anymore. There’s no convincing me to talk to someone about it, or wake someone up to reassure or sooth me, particularly not any parental figures. I live with my grandparents now and there is no chance of me waking them up. I’d be mortified if I did. I’ve suffered from night terrors for longer than the major traumas of my life started and they’ve both gotten worse and better because and since them. Because I would get yelled at whenever I would wake my step-dad up, I no longer feel the need to wake anyone up and I don’t make noises when I do wake up. But at the same time I live in a constant awareness that I have nightmares everynight- or would if I could sleep well enough- but I can’t remember them. But I always have a pretty good idea, it’s been the same theme for as long as I can remember. But my point is, I can’t be the only one like this and yet I can’t find any representation for it. If anyone knows any then please share I would love to hear- and I would love to hear about peoples experiences with trauma, nightmares/terrors and how they live with it several years down the line. Please feel free to message or comment of you feel able I would love to hear even if it feels a bit like trauma dumping on someone- quite frankly it’ll be nice to know I’m not alone.

not "i ship these characters" or "i want them to bond platonically" but a secret 3rd thing (I want them to be forced to interact by the Narrative bc they would HATE that)

I don't wanna further hijack that poor poll, but the thing about Harrow's schizophrenia is that it's canon. The author has confirmed it, and shared that it's based on her own experience.

It's a pretty obscure bit of canon, so of course there's no shame in not already knowing, but that's why I'm so obnoxiously persistent about letting people know.

Whatever else is up with Harrow, autism or cptsd or any number of likely headcanons, she is also schizophrenic. I feel like that's too important to be handwaved away as a difference of opinion.

I’m seeing a weird uptick in people commenting nasty stuff on people’s non-cat/dog pet stuff again and not so gentle reminder:

Your phobia or dislike of certain animals does not give you the right to harass and bully people who love and share them.

Use the blacklist tag like a normal human being, and leave people who love rats or snakes or bugs etc. the fuck alone.

You know what?

It's wishful thinking, but lets get Purim trending this year.

Let's all make it, be big and loud and impossible to ignore. Let's flaunt our costumes, brag with our food, share our joy. Let's try to turn this website upside down.

Let's admit it, Purim fits the Tumblr spirit. Let's put it everywhere for one day(two days)

Let's make the holiday all about Jewish survival and celebration of our joy big.

Share Your Story

What is that story you've been longing to share with the world but still haven't? Why are you afraid? Why not share your story and experiences already? The world is waiting on you, do not keep them waiting for too long.

I have always had this belief in sharing yourself with the world. Your experiences and your story are not yours to keep, they are meant to be shared with others. You don’t have to shy away from whatever your story or experiences are. There’s something unique about being your true self and embracing all that you are. Which includes your weaknesses too–understanding that you are not perfect but…

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when your teacher accidentally drops that tidbit of lore

what are some stories you have about your experiences with either being a system or the syscource community?

if you're saying that autism is never a visible disability and is much less stigmatised than other disabilities, that just tells me that you haven't met many people with autism