#several weeks ago i was worried about writing him and sometimes i still am but!! it's nice honestly | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

athanasius-symposium-of-writings · 3 months

Text

The Bird And The Man

Chapter Eight

Rated: Explicit | Warnings: mixed feelings

Ao3

Chapter Seven | Chapter Nine

You have been trying for weeks to write another book, the drafts are uh… Questionable. The last book, a standalone, was a normal book, with a bit of romance and a bit of adventure. This one is straight debauchery, if anyone read this they would think you are sex-crazed!

Are you?

You have been thinking about your night with Orpheus a lot, sometimes you write about the things. Naughty things. Those papers are hidden away in your wooden wardrobe. Agh, it plagues your thoughts! And though it has been three days since he touched you… You swear you still feel his hands all over you.

“Damn it!” Whispering to yourself as three papers of paper is literally all sex. Or how you imagine sex would be like. Nightmare gave you a taste with only his finger, you wonder what it would be like if he…

You rub your eyes and lean back against your chair to scratch your back. What time is it? Then you look at the time and see you should have slept hours ago. Three in the morning! You cannot believe you wrote so much debauchery, oh no. Worse is the mess of crumbled pieces of paper around you, other attempts at lust written down.

You groan, maybe you should go to bed! Yet, the bed feels empty these days. A loneliness has settled in as your sheets are cold, you want him here to warm you.

It is funny how needy you feel, after that day you are more physically affectionate with him. You are affectionate naturally but it feels more needed on your side. He enjoys it though, like holding you or sharing his coat with you. You thank God every day for the creature who holds your heart in his hands and his in your hands.

Just thinking about it makes you feel warm, fuzzy, and eager.

“No! Go to sleep!” Scolding yourself. When you close your eyes, your body turns over to lie on your side. Your eyes stared at the wall, the slight cracks in the wall as your eyes followed meaningless patterns. You pull the blankets closer to your body, curling up in a ball as your hand wanders between your legs.

You squeeze your eyes shut picturing Orpheus’ claws between your legs a few days ago. The second you touch your clothed crotch you jerk and pull your hand away, it feels weird— Odd? God, bury your face in the pillow and let out a long whine of despair.

At some point, you fell asleep and woke up to a gentle but sharp knock at the door. You groan, blinking several times, burying your head in the pillow that begs you to sleep some more.

“Hypnos,” Orpheus’ voice calls out to you, “Are you well?”

This makes you check the times. Your eyes are blurry then they focus to see… Oh no, it is twelve in the afternoon!

“Hypnos?” Hearing stumbling and something fall before you open the door slightly, “Good afternoon, no one saw you most of the day and I grew worried.” A gentle voice as his eyes take in the details of your barely awake form. Cute.

You yawn behind your hand then nod, “Sorry,” Rubbing your eyes, “Had to a burst of inspiration last night.”

“Understandable, I have had my share of those. Glad to see you are well. Lunch is ready but I am sure the kitchen staff can make you breakfast if you wish.”

You nod again.

“Also,” He clears his throat as he adjusts his monocle, “If you are free in the afternoon, might you join me in the smoking room?”

“Sure! Hope you do not mind that I do not smoke.”

“Not at all. All I wish for is your company.”

You smile, “Of course, anything for a friend.”

Orpheus finds that endearing, disappointing, and a pang of sadness. You should be careful who you call friends here; quickly calling those in the same situation as your friend does not mean friendship blooms.

Sure, Eli has said some are easier to befriend and can be called friends. He, Emma, Lucky Guy, Tracy, and Luca; to name a few. But everyone has their own motivations and Orpheus knows none of them are to be trusted.

Himself included though he would prefer your trust to be with him, he will not backstab you— If he must stab you it will be quick and with him looking into your eyes apologetically.

“Take your time. I will be there shortly.” Leaving as you close the door.

Mealtimes are usually social time for some of the survivors. The non-social ones might take their meals to their rooms or other places where it is quiet.

When you first arrived here, you had accidentally sat in Norton’s seat as you were anxious and shaking like a leaf. The man had terrified you to the point you left without eating and did not return for dinner.

You would sneak out of your room to eat or hoard food in your room. It was bad until… Orpheus spoke to you when he caught you taking out dishes from your room.

That day you felt like a bird that just flew out of the nest, him there beside you as Eli had encouraged you to join them during dinnertime.

Turns out Norton is not bad, still intimidating but he is true to his word about watching your back.

Being at this dining table watching the others is like being around family. Sure it is probably only a feeling Emma will understand but you imagine what a big family is like.

Busy, busy, a few laughs and conversations. You eat your lunch in peace, a few times greeting those who pass by you. A normal afternoon in the manor.

Upstairs there is a smoking room.

Not many use it as not everyone smokes but few do like Orpheus. You find the man standing in the middle of the room facing the left wall which is decorated with paintings. A smoking pipe in his mouth as he takes a few puffs before taking it out of his mouth and holding it in his hand. His gaze is focused, another puff, and he lets out a sigh shaking his head. There is something very distinguished about him, there he stands in more casual clothing with rolled-up sleeves. His monocle switched for small circular glasses, the picturesque sight of a high society man in leisure.

There is no denying Orpheus is not a handsome man, the type who probably had many ladies around him vying for his attention. From what you heard he never had a partner, he was focusing on his writing but never was unwilling to entertain a lady.

When he looks upon you there is a shift from his intense gaze to a gentle look, a practiced smile the second you smile at him. You wonder how many have ever seen him actually smile, a true smile that reaches his eyes.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Speaking up after realizing you might have been staring for too long.

“Heh,” A small chuckle from him as his head turns in your direction, “Musing.” His gaze goes back to the painting on the wall, “The days after Christmas are always the oddest.”

“How so?” You move beside him until he gestures to you to take a seat. There are a few chairs around with small tables with ashtrays. He sits across from you and facing him you realize his shirt is a bit open, just a few buttons but enough to further show he is relaxing right now.

“Two days of celebrating, sometimes three if you know where to look for more parties,” Lean back against his seat with one leg over the other, “A calm before the storm effect. After those few days, New Year's parties start the year with a bang.”

“Sounds like you enjoy those parties.”

“Occasionally,” Taking a smoke, “Did you?”

You shook your head, “I was at one but that was it.”

“The announcement party.”

“You saw me?”

“In passing. The son you ghostwrote for doesn't hold his liquor well. The man flaunting about you during the private party. You have my condolences for dealing with him.”

“Did you… Read those books?” You once read Orpheus' rare review of books. He word making or breaking an author.

“I did.” He gazes slightly to the left, “You have grown since then. The maturity of a writer is fascinating to witness.” Those dark brown eyes back on you, “Has the manor provided you inspiration?”

You think about the question before answering, “Ma always told me to write what I know, and research what I don't.” Speaking your train of thought out loud, “The people here, all from different walks of life with different reasons for being here. Hmm, maybe, I never thought about it.”

There is a chuckle from the author, a look of you wonder if it is adoration, “Such is the lot of a writer. Art often imitates life, we write what we see then alter it into a new world on paper.”

You nod in agreement, “Do you still write?”

“I do.” Taking a smoke then blowing the smoke away from your direction, “Call of the Abyss takes time but the first draft is complete.” Then he leans forward with his feet on the ground and his arms resting on his thighs, “You? Are you going to continue your book?”

You shrug, “Right now, I'm not sure. My mind isn't cooperating, hah.”

“Writer's block?”

“Oh, nothing like that just…” You look away, “New inspiration.” Nervous laugh.

“There is no shame in switching projects. Perhaps a fresh idea will inspire you to continue your previous book.”

You nod then look at him with a questioning expression, “Have you ever written something… uh… Questionable?”

“Hypnos, my genre of literature is dark fiction,” Raising an eyebrow, “Questionable is often what most use to describe my work.”

“I mean… but what if it was really questionable and yet you are proud of it?”

“There is nothing wrong with pushing the boundaries of our society through literature. Many great works we enjoy had to break out of those limited spaces and flourish by being true to reality through fiction.”

“Even the sexual kind?”

“Especially the sexual kind.” He stands up and you follow as he goes over to the serving cart by the wall with the pool table in the middle. The smoke room is barely used but is very fancy to you. “Does that help?” He twists open the bottle of you guess is bourbon and pours a glass.

“A bit. I doubt I could let this one see the light of day, however.” You shake your head at the offer of a drink, “How can you drink that?”

“As you get used to it.” Drink a small sip of it, “Try it.” Offer his few sips of alcohol in the glass. You take it, smelling it makes your face scrunch up making him smile then your drinking makes him laugh at the way you make sounds of disgust. “Perhaps a bit too harsh for you.”

You socialize with Orpheus the rest of the day, being in his company is like living a dream the young you would be so happy to have.

“Here I will show you.”

High society always seemed like a dream, the glamour and what seemed to be the only way to be happy is with money. To a degree, the latter is true to a point. Watching Orpheus explain billiards, watching him bend over slightly as he breaks the triangle of colored and striped balls. You grip your cue as he tells you it is your turn. You chose stripes.

“This is not easy at all!”

“Hah, take your time,” Standing to the side as he watches you attempt to get the solid white ball to hit a stripe ball, “Pull back slightly.” He advises as he saw you had pulled the cue too far back and knows already that will make the ball bounce off the table. “Now tap it.”

The white ball hits the other ball but does not go into the hole.

“Orpheus,” Speaking as he prepares for his turn.

“Hm?” His eyes are on the table seeing where to strike and the angle.

“Can you do the thing with the stick behind your back?”

He raises an eyebrow at you then makes a ‘oh’ sound, “Yes.” You stand back watching him move the cue behind his back and strike the white ball as one colored ball is stuck and falls into one of the pockets.

You give him a little clap, “Wow!”

“If you know where and how you are going to strike, tricks like that are easy for show.”

“You make it show easy, Mr. Detective.” Laughing a bit, “My turn!” He hands you the chalk to use on your cue and you do with vigorous twisting at the tip with excitement. The Novelist watching with amusement but a bit of worry, what are you doing?

Then he sees you bend and nearly lay across the table with your leg hooked over it.

At the position he is behind you, the sight is well, as a gentleman he will not let his gaze linger for too long. You strike the ball but still no win, “Damn it.” Getting off the table and standing there scratching your head.

“Here let me help you.” Placing his cue down on the edge of the pool table, “Hold it like this.” Slipping behind you as if he a piece of your puzzle. Suddenly you are aware of how he smells of cologne and tobacco, his hands are soft but not as nimble as you thought, they brush down your hands as he adjusts not only your positioning but your arm placements. “Now strike.” His voice is so low and close to your ear.

The ball strikes true and removes himself from your person before it can be considered any more inappropriate the move he just made.

“Well done.”

You nod looking away, strange how you miss those few seconds of his warmth, “Thank you!” Standing there trying to hide how flustered you are. That was… Familiar like when Nightmare held you close for the first time, minus the scent of fresh tobacco. The game goes on and your mind wanders to his counterpart, Nightmare, and how different they are. Yet, the same. You can see it because you know Nightmare intimately… Thus you know Orpheus perhaps on the same level? No, you just know a part of him, the part of him that is hidden behind smoke and mirrors.

“Looks like you win, hah!” It is a good game and one you would not mind playing again, “Hm?” The way he looks at you lingers, his gaze as intense as the one you saw when you entered the room.

“What does he have that I do not?”

#idv #idv x reader #identity v #identity v x you #orpheus x you #idv orpheus x you #orpheus x reader #nightmare x reader #idv nightmare #nightmare x you #identity v x reader #idv reader insert #idv orpheus #idv novelist #reader insert #idv x you

44 notes · View notes

haydensky01 · 1 year

Text

Obey me! Sleeping with Lucy. Traumatized MC

Attention: Not short attention span friendly.

■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■

Truth is, since last week when Cerberus found itself free from its chains and wondered in the house following the scent of the only human there to attack it, you have been very traumatized.

It didn't matter that Lucifer saved you and put the creature back into its prison. Fact is, it was all last second. And you had that long long time within that one second terror face to face with the three headed dog glazing at you charging his firy breath about to tear you up. Needless to say, you haven't been able to go passed that moment.

Since that day, you'd make sure to never be alone especially at night. But a fact deep within wasn't making you any less terrified. After all, you saw how everyone of them hasn't been able to tame Cerberus or push it away from you till he nearly killed you. Everyone except Lucifer.

Lucifer and you share a respectful relationship. Almost professional. He, after all, is the Morning Star. The first born. And Diavolo's right hand. And since you came here, several months ago, you only had responsabilities and committments bounds.

You admired him. You respected him. But also, you liked him. There is no denying that. He was so handsome, so calm, so reliable. You feel like even a smile from him could charge you in energy for days. And knowing his importance and status, you being aware of the feelings you started growing towards him, makes you awkward around him. Avoiding eye contact, talking none sense sometimes, laughing about everything. Even at punishments when Mammon gets you on board in some stupid things.

Howerver, tonight is diffrent. Tonight, you are seriously terrified. You can't dare close your eyes. The smell of aches in Cerburus surrounds you. The 6 red eyes seem to stare at you in every corner of your room and you could hear the beast scream resonates in your soul. You need safety. You need security. You need Lucifer.

Heading to his study in the library you couldn't believe you were about to ask the first born to stay with him all night. You make it till his desk. Here he was working. Overworking. a pile of files and papers surrounding him from everywhere.

"What is it that brings you here at this hour? Is Asmo harassing you again?"

"... N-No, no. I just needed something .. I.."

He interupts you mid sentence: "Ah, is there anything more you needed for the festival preparation? Here, Take this list." He hands you a paper. "This is the list where the festival's needs are mentionned from my part. You can add anything you forgot about in it. I will make sure Diavolo has it appoved by tomorrow."

"... T-Thank you .. But .."

"Don't worry." He interups agains. "Diavolo has you on his good terms. I am sure he'll grant you some more." He says without taking his eyes off of the papers on the desk.

You take few seconds to think. "I just wanted to stay in the study with him. nothing else" You think to yourself.

"This is taking you a moment. Planning to add some more things now that we know the Young Prince won't say no? Be wise asking MC, Diavolo isn't here to spoil." Lucifer added from afar.

You look at the paper and write: "Could you please check if Cerberus is well chained tonight?". You put the paper on the corner of the desk and leave.

Back to your room (running) you close the door and hope he will see your message. You get on your bed and start counting sheeps. Maybe this will distract you. The thoughts of the beast comes and goes as you don't stop moving in your bed. Then tears came up. You hung on your pillow and cried undlessly.

An hour later, you still haven't slept but all the crying made you so exhausted you feel yourself doze off. As your breath slows and your eyes get heavier, you hear your door opens. Your heart skips a beat and your body freezes, eyes tightly shut in fear. And then you smell him. the vison of aches and fire dissipes as you recognize the perfume of Lucifer. A heavy spicy yet sweet scent of fruit and earth. The scent fills your entire room and envelops your whole body. It calms you down. You hear footsteps towards your bed. And this is when you realize. Lucifer is in your room. few steps away. Your heart pounds yet you don't make yourself known as awake. You hear him take off his coats that he puts on your chair. You hear him heading to your bed barefoot. when did he even take off his shoes? A moment after your bed goes down under the weight of the demon and your cover is lifted as a worm and big body lays next to you from behind. The smell imprinted your soul by now. A hand throws to your side of the bed 2 gloves, a tie and a gilet. His arm slides under your neck gently then comes back to rest on your upper shoulder while his other goes around your abdomen.

"I apologise ... I will never let anyone nor anything ever harm you." He says in the quite of your room.

Is this really Lucifer by your ear? on your bed? Against your body? under your covers? The serious, strict, scary, professional Lucifer?

"I can't bare seeing the bags under your eyes at every breakfest after the incident. Nor your pale face ... For how long haven't you slept my love?"

Your face is fire red now. Does he know you're awake? Wait, did he just call you HIS LOVE? ~Do I have to respond?????~

"I don't even remember." You finally say in a broken tired voice.

"Have you been crying?" He realizes to your voice. "Oh MC ..." He commented as he hugged you tighter.

"I sent a raven to the Castle. I declared personal affairs for the next two days. I sent another one to the school as well. They won't be expecting us coming couple days either. Would it be enough? would it be acceptable if we remained sleeping just like this for the next two days?"

"What about the boys?"

Lucifer smirked at the thought of his brothers. "I casted a spell on them. no one is waking up before two days at least."

You let a gasp of surprise out as you turn looking to Lucifer in astonishment. His hand on your waist makes its way up to your face. "You would be scared to know the extent of things I would do for you". He says in a tender yet firm eye contact.

As you look at him, you know he isn't exagerating. Missing on Diavolo's meeting, missing school and casting a spell on his brothers ... You knew he meant every word he said.

"Turn around, rest your head on my chest princess."

Your body obeys without leaving time to your mind to comprehend the order. As you put your head on his heart he caresses your back and you fall asleep to his last words.

"I imprinted a key to my room on your right palm. I am the one who will spoil you to the core. Your bed now is my heart and nowhere else".

#lucifer x reader #obey me x reader #obey me x mc #obey me #obey me imagines #obey me lucifer #obey me fanfic

234 notes · View notes

reyenii · 1 year

Text

paddy's letters in which he mentioned eoin

august 1941:

‘i’m doing nothing this morning. i could go to church i suppose but Ii am too lazy.i ’ll write this letter instead. i haven't seen mcgonigal for over a month now but i expect him to join me here sometime this week’

september 1941

‘i wrote to mother a couple of days ago probably arrive about the same time as this, i mentioned that mcgonigal is here with me, he is fine also’

november 1941:

‘as i think you know, your brother and i have for some time been in this parachute unit. on sunday the 16th we dropped in to cyrenaica. eoin has not yet come back. we had decided, before we went in, that if one of us did not get back to the rendezvous, the other would not worry or write home until at least a month had elapsed as we reckoned that if the worst came we could lie up and wait until our ground forces reached us […]’

january, 1942

‘I had a letter from mrs mcgonigal yesterday asking for news of eoin. she is a fine woman, she didn't tell his brother ambrose who was getting married until after his honeymoon. i had already written to her & instill believe that the odds are he is a prisoner. i wish i knew’

february 1942:

'’i haven't heard anything yet of mcgonigal. but his people may have, apparently they are advised by the red cross first.’

april 1942:

‘still no news out here of mcgonigal, it is about time we heard of him’

may 1942:

‘i need not tell you how much i miss eoin, it would be impossible to have lived with a person of his character for nearly two years without getting to like and admire him tremendously. also although i am several years older than eoin i depended on him greatly when i had any serious decisions to make’

may(?) 1942:

‘i am getting very tired of this country, especially since eoin landed a loser, it was all right when there was someone you could talk to about home with’

september 1942:

'i had a letter from mrs mcgonigal. i am awfully sorry for her but she is very plucky [it will] soon be a year now since eoin was killed’

#💔#sas rogue heroes #eoin mcgonigal #donal finn #paddy mayne #paddon #jack o’connell #dónal finn

99 notes · View notes

never-not-ever · 4 months

Text

Last update was about a week ago. Sometimes I feel like what’s the point in posting these but then I remember how down the road I like looking back and rereading these. Although sometimes it’s triggering, but other times it’s like damn I’ve come far from that dark place.

I still journal and actually just wrote up an entry. It was a long one and I guess I can just use that to look back on but it’s easier and faster to type.

So that week were my doctor put me on that 3-11 1:1 I was on it for 3 days, Tues-Thurs. I came off it Friday and it was my doctors last day before her 2-fucking-week vacation. She’s back the day after Christmas and I wonder if I’ll still be here.

This past week I had this covering doctor who is a lot. He’s annoying in the sense that he interrupts me, writes up things in my notes like “feels tired this morning, doesn't think it's the trazodone this morning, but is worried that trazodone can / did make her tired this morning (self-contradicts herself)” and “inconsistency in statements” like so what if I said I didn’t think it made me tired but maybe now that I think of it maybe it did? And then that inconsistency thing is cause I said that I wouldn’t kill my self when I discharge cause I don’t want to hurt my grandmother like that and he said “well aren’t you hurting her by being in here and hurting yourself?”…

I miss my old doctor and now my social worker is out on vacation this week. I mean as annoying as this new doctor is he is somewhat helpful cause he’s all about problem solving and skills. Wait.. am I just contradicting myself again…

This past week he said some comments how my self harm is less severe cause I was punching the ground and not cutting my skin open. He also said on Monday “let’s be honest you’re probably going to hurt yourself later, so let’s focus on going to staff beforehand”. That part pissed me off, like don’t take away my control, don’t decide for me. I make the decision not you. And then that “less severe” comment pushed me over the edge and I ended up doing the later instead of punching the ground. Don’t get me wrong, I take full accountability of my actions. I am not blaming anyone for “well that’s why I self harmed”. No. Peoples words effect my thoughts and urges but ultimately it’s my choice to self harm or not and it’s no one’s fault but my own.

So because of the “later” he reinstated that 3-11 1:1 this past Thursday with the plan to keep it through the weekend. Every week for the past few weeks I keep saying I want to leave this week. On Monday, when I first met with him I asked “can I leave this Friday” and he replied that it “was possible but let’s see how the week goes”. Then I landed myself on that 1:1 so obviously I didn’t leave yesterday.

But during my team meeting yesterday I brought this brilliant idea to the table. I said to them how, as it’s been said multiple times, I’m just going in circles. I self harm, get put back on a 1:1, think “well it’s not that bad at least it’s not 24 hours”, stop self harming to get off it, last a few days, self harm again and then the cycle repeats itself. I hate that I have to say this but ultimately a 24 hour 1:1 is the thing that will prevent me from ever self harming again in here (well maybe… and I’ll get to that part later). Especially since my social worker said that the next 1:1 will be all belongings taken away. So my idea was take me off this 3-11 1:1 and I’ll know that if I self harm again I’ll go right back on it and 24 hours. He liked this plan and asked me how long the 24 hour 1:1 would be and k said I don’t know, it doesn’t matter cause it’s not going to happen. He still wanted me to give an answer and so I said a week. And to make sure I’m not being sneaky and self harming but not telling staff I said I will do arm checks each night to prove it. Even though it was my idea I hated it but I know it’ll prevent me from doing anything.

Now the maybe part- which I just thought of today… Wait, I did end up getting my idea approved so no more 1:1. And also I told them how I wanted to start proving to them I can be safe because if I get covid I want to be able to say “look at all these days I’ve been self harm free, now let me discharge now because I am NOT isolating myself after I just started being social”. There’s been two cases of covid this past week. We all tested again this morning. I’ll get my results tonight and I swear to god if it’s positive I don’t know what I’m going to do.

Back to that “maybe” part. I was thinking earlier how if the people I’m social with were to discharge before me there would be no reason to care about going back on the 1:1 which sounds horrible but like I said, I’ve been more social and it’s been great but like I still feel incredibly hopeless about my future. I still know that the self harm and drinking is going to start right back up when I get home, my SI is getting worse even though I’m swearing I won’t do anything. Like it’s not enough to keep me here especially if the self harm stops. Then again my reasoning to not self harm is to be able to discharge asap if I test positive. Not really to continue to be social. Ughh I feel like I’m making no sense and maybe this covering doctor is right and I’m just self contradicting myself…

My roommate discharged last Wednesday and I miss her so much but I still have this other girl that I’m close with here. We have a group chat and once we leave we’re all planning to hang out. Then there’s this guy… oh god.. I don’t even know where to begin or how much to share. He’s been here a week and I think we started including him in our card games his first night. He was and still is so mysterious. If looks could kill… That first night I started giving sarcasm right back to him and my two friends here said in the group chat that they think he likes me. I didn’t believe it cause 1) I’m gross looking and 2) who the fuck would like me? The next night he asked me how long I’ve liked girls for and I told him my coming out/sexuality changing rollercoaster. Came out in Jan 2017, didn’t want to label myself, just liked people. Then a few months later was like ugh guys are disgusting. Now that I’ve broken up with my ex I’m questioning myself and who the fuck knows. Him asking that made me wonder why he cares and my friends continued to come up with confirming reasons that he likes me. Which is so bizarre to me because it’s been so long since anyone’s showed interest in me. Maybe cause I’ve just made work my entire life and had no social life at all.

So since then there’s been lots of flirting and sarcasm fights. This guy he hangs out with keeps saying he can see the chemistry between us. He didn’t say those words but he speaks Spanish, very little English and the way he tries to insinuate that there’s something between us is hilarious. I actually love playing cards with him he’s so fucking funny.

So last night a bunch of us were playing cards. We’re sarcastically fighting like usual and this lady who’s doing a puzzle says that we fight like a married couple.. So he said how more people are starting to catch on and he’s right. Then my absolute favorite nurse walks into the dining room right as I call him an asshole. I told her that he’s mean and deserves it. That lady tells the nurse how we fight like a married couple and she agreed and I thought the nurse said “I thought you were less mean” to which I replied “you thought I was less mean???” Cause she knows me well enough by now. BUT she really said “I thought you were a lesbian”. There was my opportunity to start a cover story. So I told her “I am a lesbian, just a mean lesbian” and she started dying laughing. Then I told him “you know I’m not a lesbian, I’m mean clearly I’m not a lesbian”. I’m not going to go into the reasons why he knows I’m definitely not just into girls but I will say this has been my most interesting, risky, fun/thrilling inpatient stay I’ve ever had…

And that about covers it and brings me up to speed.

#personal #inpatient #tw self harm #trigger warning self harm

3 notes · View notes

wedontdeservethestars · 2 years

Note

Hey! Saw you ask for drabble requests! How about Garcia and Reid comforting Morgan after a difficult case, because he deserves hugs too! (Or them all comforting each other, I just really wish this fandom would let Morgan be comforted more)

Dude you have no idea how happy I am to write Derek being vulnerable, let this guy have a healing crying session sometime for the love of God. Dude goes through so much and he's never allowed to be sad :,( so....I'm here to fix that! Also, this is posted on AO3 as well!

Penelope knew something was wrong the second she heard Derek’s voice over the phone. She greeted him as she normally would–with a sensual-sounding “Hello, loverboy,” and a twirl of a golden lock of hair, even though he couldn’t see it. But Derek didn’t call her ‘hot stuff’ or ‘mama’ or even ‘baby girl.’

“Garcia,” was all he said (and not even in a fun way!) before continuing onto his question for the current case at hand. “What can you tell me about a Paul Norwell who lives in the area?”

“Oh,” she replied, a little perturbed by his distant nature. Nonetheless, her fingers started to fly over her keyboard. “Well, he currently works as a mover for GreenTech appliances. Basically, it looks like he does house-calls for appliance installments and issues that come up. He started work there about fifteen years ago. And…oh my. He lives only three blocks away from Jason’s family.”

“Did they have appliance troubles recently?” he guessed.

Garcia checked the bank account records of the parents of Jason, a kidnapped boy the team was trying to find. “Nope. But they did just get a new dishwasher installed a couple of weeks ago.”

Derek’s voice sounded stiff. “Give me his address.”

Penelope did, and he thanked her and hung up, just like that. Not an ounce of playfulness or even communion with her. If she didn’t know any better, she would feel a little mad that Morgan was treating her like a normal coworker. But she had known Derek for several years, and if he was acting like this, something was definitely wrong.

When he returned from the case, he didn’t seem to be feeling any better. Jason was safe, and they had Norwell locked up and on trial. The case was out of their hands, and a family was reunited. But something was still very obviously bothering Derek. He was quiet, aloof. He declined to go out for drinks with Penelope and Emily. Whenever Garcia looked into his umber eyes, she could see the storm he was hiding behind a dismissive, “I’m fine.”

Spencer had noticed it, too. He and Penelope sat at his desk, watching Derek from across the bullpen as he worked tirelessly to complete stacks and stacks of paperwork that he’d no doubt insisted on taking from Hotch. Penelope swung her legs as she sat on Spencer’s desk, and he anxiously swiveled in his chair.

“Why won’t he just talk to us?” she asked, her gaze furrowing beneath her cotton candy-colored frames.

“He’s emotionally closing himself off. He probably doesn’t want us worrying about whatever’s going on in his mind,” Spencer mumbled. “But it’s kind of having the opposite effect, isn’t it?”

“Tell me about it. I wish I could just…open his head up and look at his brain and pick out all the bad stuff,” she frowned. “And no one’s called me baby girl in, like, a week. I’m gonna die of starvation soon.”

“Does ‘pretty boy’-starvation fall under the same umbrella? Because I’m feeling it, too,” he sighed. “Getting coffee on my own isn’t the same. I got too used to Derek being with me and now it’s just lonely.”

“Aw, Reid,” Penelope pouted. “I’d go with you. Except you know what caffeine does to me…”

“I have first-hand experience, unfortunately,” he smiled faintly, then looked back at Morgan’s office. He wasn’t even working anymore, now, just staring ahead at the wall, propping his head up with a curled fist. Penelope squirmed.

“Okay. That’s it. I gotta go in there.”

“I’m coming, too,” Spencer said quickly, standing and tailing behind Garcia as she made a beeline for the office. She hesitated only for a moment before knocking on the closed door and propping it open, peeking in through the crack to alert him of her presence. Derek broke his staring match with the wall opposite to him and nodded, as if to say “come in.”

“Hi,” Penelope say sweetly, her voice small and soft. Spencer waved a little when he came in behind her. Morgan shifted in his seat.

“What, am I in trouble or somethin’?” he asked, clearly meaning it as a joke. His delivery was tired, though.

“Only because you’ve been ignoring us,” she smiled sadly, knowing that his distant nature wasn’t born of malice.

“By ignoring, do you mean doing my job?” He cocked an eyebrow as he gestured to the mess of files and paperwork on his desk.

“Not just today,” Spencer shrugged, glancing down at the papers. “Four days in a row. Ever since we got back from the case, actually. And most of these documents don’t need to be turned in for another two weeks.”

Derek sighed and leaned back in his chair. “So I like to get things done early. So what?”

“Not this early.”

“Look, what do you two want?”

“We’re worried, Der,” Penelope murmured, taking a step closer to him. “You’ve been acting weird.”

“We miss you out there,” Spencer added. “Are you okay?”

Derek shook his head. “I’m–”

“Fine,” she cut him off, fingers fidgeting with a gaudy jeweled ring she wore. “Please, don’t say you’re fine. You obviously aren’t. And that’s okay.”

For a moment, he was quiet, looking between the two. Reasoning something in his head.

“Please talk to us?” Spencer muttered.

Morgan rubbed his face. “You got me with those doe eyes, pretty boy. Close the door.”

He smiled shyly and did so, making sure that it shut all the way. When he turned back, Derek was pushing away from his desk. He came around the front and leaned back against it, folding his arms. Where to even start?

“I can’t stop thinking about that case,” he finally said, eerily still. “That kid. Jason.”

“He made it back home safe, didn’t he?” Penelope asked.

“He still got taken,” he shook his head. “And who knows what exactly Norwell did to him? Or the kids before. We don’t even know how many there were. How many lives were ruined by this bastard? How many children died after being put through what Norwell did to them?”

The other two were a little taken aback by Derek’s sudden frankness. Neither said a word, but Penelope slipped her hand over his. He swallowed thickly and folded his arms, trying to guard himself.

“That kid on the morgue table. I know we’ve seen kids before, but…he reminded me of myself. That could’ve been me. That is so many kids that we were too late to save. That we don’t even know about.” A shaky breath, like his lungs were about to give. “I joined this team because I never wanted any child to feel so powerless again. To stop this from happening. But we can’t.”

“That’s not true,” Spencer said softly. “We do all we can. And think about how many kids in the future we saved from people like Norwell. How many families won’t ever have to go through that, because we helped. You helped.”

“You guys aren’t superheroes,” Penelope pointed out. “You’re only human.”

“So are they.” Derek looked up at her. His eyes were glossy. “Grown men that I should be able to stop because that’s what I am, too.”

“It’s not that simple, hun,” she said apologetically. “It’s not just about power. There’s a bunch of different factors. They hide behind masks and personalities and–and in secret places. They make it hard to find them. But whenever we get a case, we always uncover them. We do everything we can.”

“It’s not enough. It’s never enough.” He angrily wiped at his cheek, trying to stop the tears before they came.

Penelope looked at Spencer, a little shaken. She was so used to Derek’s rhetoric being more positive. Usually, he would stand by the fact that even though there seemed to be an unsurmountable and ever-growing evil in the world, units like Quantico and the people that it was made up of would always be there to put a halt to it. Seeing him break like this was a rarity, and she didn’t like it.

Spencer’s fingers tapped against his thigh. He was clearly unnerved by the sudden change of heart, too, but he moved forward and wrapped his lanky arms around Derek, closing his eyes as he did so. For once, the boy wonder had no words. He knew there wasn’t anything he could say to comfort Morgan. No reality, no mantra, no lie that he couldn’t shelve or disprove. Because in a way, Derek was right. They couldn’t be there to fix everything that was wrong in the world. It just wasn’t possible.

Penelope covered him from the other side, enveloping the rest of Derek into a comfortable embrace. She pressed a slow kiss to his shoulder, shutting her eyes tight as she tried to keep her own tears from spilling. He slowly took the two into his arms, letting his head duck into the nook created by their bodies pressed against him. His shoulders began to shake as silent sobs left his chest. Penelope hushed him in a whispery breeze of voice, and Spencer gently rocked him back and forth.

Derek cried.

Even after his tears let up, the three of them lingered in their circle for a few minutes, their backs creating a shield from anything the harsh world outside the office had to offer. For the first time in a long time, Derek Morgan felt completely safe.

“Sorry.” The mumbled apology was accompanied by a lift of his head and small sniffle. Penelope broke the hug to hand him a tissue from the desk behind him, which he took and used gratefully.

“You don’t have to be sorry,” she soothed. “I wish we knew you were feeling like this.”

“It gets hard to stay optimistic in this line of work,” said Spencer. “But just because you’re struggling doesn’t mean you have to stay silent. We all struggle. It’s natural.”

“I’m not supposed to struggle,” he laughed bitterly. “I’m the tough guy. The-the one who kicks down doors and chases the bad guy and…”

“And walks away from explosions without looking back?” Penelope raised an eyebrow. “Come on, baby, you’re not a one-dimensional action hero. You’re allowed to be sad.”

“No one here expects you to put up a front all the time. Especially not us.” Spencer squeezed his arm.

Derek let out a long breath. “Thanks, guys. Sorry I’ve been all distant and mopey lately.”

“It’s okay. We were only kidding about you ignoring us,” Garcia smiled. Spencer turned his head and frowned.

“What? I wasn’t. I hate getting coffee by myself.”

This earned a chuckle from Derek, and he felt proud of himself for making him laugh. “Sorry, Reid. Is it too late to go now? We can take a lunch and go on a make-up date, if you want.”

“Four’s my limit. Lucky for you, I’ve only had two so far today,” he grinned. “Y’know, it’s funny, just a few months ago my limit probably would’ve been two or three, but I think I’ve built up such an immunity so quickly that my body doesn’t even register the caffeine like it used to anymore. If I keep this up I can probably down five in a day in a couple of weeks and I’d be fine.”

“God help us all if you get to that point.” Derek clapped him on the shoulder. “You comin’, baby girl?”

Penelope pursed her lips and smoothed out her purple-patterned skirt. “Does the cafe have hot chocolate? Or something non-caffeinated that won’t make Penny G. sicker than she was after her twenty-first birthday party?”

“They absolutely do.” For a moment, his hand lingered at the small of her back. Before he gathered his keys and wallet, he pressed a kiss to her cheek and then Spencer’s, leaving her glowing and him flushed pink.

“Thank you guys,” he said, his voice hushed. “Really.”

“We love you,” Spencer said matter-of-factly, smiling.

“Just do us a favor and tell us when you feel down next time, so we don’t have to pull it out of you like wisdom teeth.” Penelope stood on her toes and returned the kiss he’d given her, before her velvet heels clunked back down on the carpet and she started for the door. “Okay, c’mon! Mama’s craving hot chocolate now.”

“And I’m craving coffee,” Spencer added.

“Bad Reid. You’re gonna get the jitters!”

“I don’t get jittery anymore!”

“That’s because you’re always jittery.”

Derek smiled as he watched his two favorite people in the whole world bicker in front of him. His gaze turned towards the piles of paperwork on his desk. Hesitation. Then, he turned off the lights to his office and followed behind his partners.

#wedontdeservethefics #derek morgan x spencer reid x penelope garcia #derek morgan x penelope garcia #derek morgan x spencer reid #penelope garcia x spencer reid #derek morgan #spencer reid #penelope garcia #criminal minds #siensapsap #god i love this prompt #and i love the Trio i wish this ship was more popular

47 notes · View notes

juwanthecurator · 2 years

Text

The Renaissance Rundown: Heat 88 — Coming Off the Bench

We’re one man down, a couple of crypto cringe croons in, and a few MLK comparisons closer to hell — but we’re never gonna give you up. Happy Megan the Stallion Day!

What’s good y’all?

We‘re doing a little remix on the programming here at The Renaissance for the next few weeks. Paul is out on injured reserve, so I (Juwan J. Holmes) am hopping in to bring you your regularly scheduled newsletter.

TL;dr — Paul’s sitting out on newsletter duties for the next few weeks (he’s alright, but feel free to let him know you’re thinking about him!), so it’s gonna be… May (corny beginning-of-May joke made: check…) telling you about Megan the Stallion’s latest honor, Sean Paul’s latest temperature check, and… (checks notes) who the kids are apparently missing?

ANNOUNCEMENTS

The Renaissance Rundown Newsletter is being helmed by Juwan while Paul is on the mend from a surgery last week to address a non-life threatening injury he had. He’s okay, but let him know you’re thinking about him and hope he recovers well on his Instagram, Twitter, or website!

With everything going on… *gestures at humanity* things have slowed down around here as of late, but don’t worry, we are still cooking things up. We may have brainstormed for some campaigns in the immediate future… 👀

ARTICLES

Here’s some recent articles from us that may be of interest:

Super Bowl LVI Halftime Show: A Recap — Paul K. Barnes

While Paul’s out of writing commission for a little, there’s still plenty of words of his to read around here. Take his recap on the Super Bowl Halftime Show, for example.

Jacob Ezra Walks the Dividing Line — Paul K. Barnes

Paul’s profile of music artist and journalist Jacob Ezra is a complete banger: “Walking the line between music journalist and artist is a very rare position. For Jacob, he started as a music artist before he was a music journalist, so naturally, his perspective is both unique and considerate… The conversation over who has the right to review music, and what type of music they review, has reached a new level of polarization. It’s all very interesting, to say the least.”

Reentering the World of Underground Rap — Paul K. Barnes

Paul’s thinking exercise on what constitutes “underground” will make you think, if you like doing that sometimes.

HAVE YOU HEARD…

Today, May 2nd, has been declared Megan Thee Stallion Day in her hometown of Houston, Texas. Mayor Sylvester Turner issued the proclamation, and presented Megan with a key to the city at a ceremony held yesterday.

Later today, fashion’s premiere event — the Met Gala — is being held for the 38th time at the Metropolitan Museum of New York. This will be the first Met Gala held in May since 2019–2020’s was cancelled (pandemic) and 2021’s was held in September (just eight months ago — which is probably why it feels like it already happened.) This year’s theme, based on an exhibit of the same title, is “In America: An Anthology of Fashion.” I can’t wait to see how badly that goes.

The Met Gala chair’s this year are Regina King (this would mark one of her first public appearances since her son’s death), Blake Lively, Ryan Reynolds, and Lin-Manuel Miranda. Performers have not been formerly announced, but you can still expect a heavy crew of musicians to show up. Vogue’s livestream coverage, which is co-hosted by Vanessa Hudgens and La La Anthony, will start at 6pm EST.

In other news:

Music journalist Ivie Ani launched a new live radio show “In Full Effect” on Amazon Music’s AMP application this week. Download the AMP app and use the code “IVIE” to access the show and several other talk radio and licensed songs.

body[data-twttr-rendered="true"] {background-color: transparent;}.twitter-tweet {margin: auto !important;}

— @ivieani

In an interview on Twitch for Rolling Stone, Sean Paul liked comedian Jay Pharoah’s impression of him so much that he committed to signing the SNL alum. During the interview, Paul also shared what’s the right temperature for your girl and (once again) what he says at the beginning of the song.

The Rolling Stone Twitch also interviewed the rapper IDK last week, his first sit-down since announcing his upcoming KAYTRANADA-produced album, Simple. They broadcast on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays at 4pm EST at www.twitch.tv/rollingstone.

Drake is (allegedly) a fan (or more?) of Abby Shapiro, the influencer sister to right-wing conspiracist Ben Shapiro.

Joe Budden is holding a grudge against Earl Sweatshirt over a sketch mocking him from a 2014 episode of Loiter Squad, the former Odd Future rapper said as a guest on the Showtime show Desus & Mero.

In the second season premiere of her self-titled, weekly variety Showtime series Ziwe, Ziwe asked Breakfast Club host Charlamagne da God why he always “beefs” with Black women, as well as inquiring further about his self-comparisons to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

body[data-twttr-rendered="true"] {background-color: transparent;}.twitter-tweet {margin: auto !important;}

— @ziwe

MUSIC RELEASES

This past week: Kehlani’s BLUE WATER ROAD and Future’s I Never Liked You came out. Additionally, Wale’s More About Nothing, the Seinfeld-inspired mixtape sequel to The Mixtape About Nothing (2008) and prequel to the album The Album About Nothing (2015), is now available on streaming services 12 years after its release. Amongst singles released: Tink and 2 Chainz have a single called “Cater” and Jvck James released the EP ON THE ROCKS featuring the song “Hennessy Tears.”

This upcoming week: there’s not a heavy amount of hip-hop drops as of now slated for the month of May, but IDK’s album Simple, YNW BSlime’s Goat and Jack Harlow’s album Come Home The Kids Miss You (further comment on the title withheld… for now) are set to come out on Friday, May 6. (Non-rap artists releasing music also include Simple Plan and Arcade Fire — this weekend’s musical guest for Saturday Night Live.) Before that, Lil Gotit’s album The Cheater, which leaked in January according to Genius.com, gets officially dropped on May 4 (may the four-ce of record sales be on his side.)

Later in the month, though: there will be plenty of new hip-hop for fans to ingest. Of course, Kendrick Lamar’s Mr. Morale and the Big Steppers comes out May 13, as does Leikeli47’s album Shape Up and Dreezy & Hit-Boy’s Hit-Girl. Sean Paul’s new album Scorcha is slated for May 27, while Blackstar (the moniker for duo Talib Kweli and Yasiin Bey) and Trippie Redd both have releases expected this month, according to HipHopDX.

Randomly, Rick Astley’s Whenever You Need Somebody (featuring the viral sensation “Never Gonna Give You Up”) is getting a remastered release this week too, in case you were wondering.

RELAY

Here, we relay from a portion of an article written recently regarding hip hop.

This week, we’re relaying from Pitchfork staff writer & rap columnist Alphonse Pierre, and their column “Crypto Is the Most Uncool Thing You Could Possibly Rap About”:

The track, by Rich the Kid and Takeoff, is called “Crypto,” and it’s the most embarrassing rap song I’ve come across in a minute.

Just look at this chorus: “She want the info/I want to talk about crypto.” Is anyone even sure what that means?! Either it’s about Takeoff being so singularly business-minded that he just wants to talk to his girlfriend about investing, or it has absolutely no meaning and is the sort of line that will get him paid a shit ton of money to perform at an angel investor’s birthday party.

RECOMMENDED SONGS …for some reason, all the reasons, no reasons

“Hit My Phone” — Megan Thee Stallion feat. Kehlani — SUGA (Happy Meg Day!)

“Maybach Music” — Rick Ross feat. Jay-Z — Trilla (A good throwback to start May with, minus that same old Justin Timberlake meme.)

“Get TF Out My Face” — Saucy Santana [prod. by Bankroll Got It & Diego Ave] (Familiarize yourself with RCA Records’ newest talent.)

Thanks for reading, for somewhere between the first and eighty-eighth time, The Renaissance Rundown. If you didn’t know, you can find me on every social at @/JuwantheCurator (in addition to @JuwantheWriter on Twitter), my latest work and links at linktr.ee/JuwantheCurator, and my own site, juwanthecurator.wordpress.com.

As always, follow The Renaissance Project (@TheRenProj) via Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Tumblr.

See y’all next week.

The Renaissance Rundown: Heat 88 — Coming Off the Bench was originally published in The Renaissance Project on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

from Stories by Juwan J. Holmes on Medium https://medium.com/the-renaissance/the-renaissance-rundown-heat-88-coming-off-the-bench-ad8af56fd709?source=rss-3afaef324bdd------2

#Juwan The Curator #Medium #Articles

0 notes

queenshelby · 3 years

Text

Gypsy Bride (One Shot)

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Virgin!Reader

Warnings: Angst, Violence, Mention of Self Harm, Arranged Marriage, SMUT, Loss of Virginity

Total Words: 8,083 (both parts below)

Parts:

· Part One – Husband and Wife

· Part Two – Consummating Finally

Notes: I will be writing another One Shot which will be called ‘Goodbye Marie’. This One Shot will follow on from this story but can also be read on its own.

Part One

It was 9am on a cold Saturday morning. You had been awake for several hours already and barely managed to get any sleep at all the night before.

It was your wedding day and you were nervous to say the least. This was a wedding you didn’t want, a marriage doomed from the beginning.

Your father had recently taken over the business of importing heroine into the United Kingdom from his brother who, due to unfortunate circumstances arranged by your father, was shot during police interference.

In your culture, it was customary to only form alliances with people you trust, mainly family. But, since you and your mother were both only children as a result of a curse impaled on your family decades ago, your family was much smaller than other gypsy families.

In cases like this, alliances were formed by expanding family through marriage.

You had no say in the matter and your father was determined to expand his business through such alliance.

So, today, you were to marry Thomas Shelby, the leader of the Peaky Blinders.

You knew that Thomas Shelby was shipping heroine to the United States and had recently lost his supply from the Chinese. The deal your father was offering Thomas was lucrative and allowed the Shelby Family to reinstate most of their fortune which they had lost in the stock market crash earlier this year.

Your father, however, did not trust Thomas Shelby and insisted on a traditional bond between the families.

Thomas Shelby agreed and, since he was the only unmarried Shelby man of age, it was him, a man almost twice your age, who was going to be your husband.

You never met Thomas Shelby and you wondered what he was like.

You heard terrible things about him and you knew that he was both, a politician and a gangster. You knew that he was involved in drug trafficking, running brothels and killings. He was no better than your father who you despised.

You always wanted to turn a leaf on your life, get away from the illegal dealings and make an honest living. But, this dream of yours was now shattered. You were about to marry into the most notorious gangster family in the Small Heath and Birmingham area.

In the weeks leading up to your wedding, you considered ending it. This was the only way out. But then you met a man who was a priest. Every day you remembered his words. There was a purpose for you, you just may have not discovered it yet.

You never believed, but turned to God for advice after your encounter with the priest. You even began to volunteer at the local church community hall to help you keep your mind occupied.

After weeks of volunteering, you requested to be married to Thomas at the church. The priest was reluctant but agreed after you begged for long enough. Your request was granted.

And there you were, in the back rooms of the small church in Birmingham, preparing for your wedding.

As you stepped into your white wedding gown, tears were building up in your eyes. You were not ready for this, but you had to be strong.

You wiped your tears away with the white cotton tissue your mother had given you and pinned up your hair.

A maid was assigned to assist you, but you enjoyed to do your own hair and makeup.

Shortly after you sent your maid away and while you were applying your mascara, you heard a knock on the door.

You hoped that it was your mother, wishing to provide you with emotional support, but, to your surprise, it was a woman who you had never met.

She had dark brown hair and dark eyes. She was attractive and well dressed.

‘I am Polly Gray’ the woman said as she walked into your room.

‘I am Y/N’ you said nervously.

‘I figured’ she said with a laugh as she handed you her flask of whiskey.

‘Drink up Love, I think you need it, you are about to marry my nephew’ Polly said sheepishly as she stepped behind you and tied up your dress.

‘Thank you’ you said before taking a large sip from the flask.

‘You didn’t want your maid to help you with this?’ Polly asked surprised as she wiped away some of the smudged make up beneath your eyes which were still wet and teary.

‘No. I don’t like to appear weak in front of strangers’ you explained.

‘Showing weakness can sometimes be your strength Y/N’ Polly said before she asked you how old you were while she proceeded to help you with your make up.

‘I am 20’ you responded, your hands shaking.

’20?’ Polly said as she stopped what she was doing and sat down across from you.

‘Did you think I was older?’ you asked.

‘Your parents are older than me, so yes, Thomas and I did not expect you to be so young’ Polly said before she lid herself a cigarette.

‘Do you think that Thomas will be disappointed?’ you asked.

‘No Love. Let me tell you something about Thomas’ Polly said before taking a pause.

‘He has not shown any genuine interest in a woman since his late wife passed away. Whilst I disliked her, she was the only woman he ever loved. He didn’t choose you and he will probably not love you, but he will provide for you and ensure your safety. He expects loyalty in return, nothing else. So long as you are loyal, you do not need to worry about disappointing him nor do you need to be afraid of him’ Polly explained, causing you to feel some relief.

Despite the fact that you had never met this woman, she was able to provide you with the reassurance you needed.

‘Now, let’s hurry’ Polly said, standing up and finishing your make up.

‘Thank you, Ms Gray’ you said as she took your hand and smiled at you.

‘Please, call me Polly. After all, you will be family soon’ she said just before she disappeared to the hall.

Not long after Polly had left and you finished getting ready, your father arrived.

‘It’s time Y/N’ he said impatiently, not even bothering to compliment you.

You hooked into your father’s arm as he walked you towards the hall.

The Church was packed. You had many guests, mostly gypsies from different families.

Your heart sank into your stomach as you observed your future husband waiting for you at the altar.

He was wearing an elegant navy-blue suit which matched his deep blue eyes.

His hair looked immaculate and he had his hands crossed in front of him.

He was very attractive and you could barely believe that he was in his late thirties already.

Despite this, shivers ran down your back as you approached the altar. He showed no emotion at all. There was no smile on his face. In fact, there was no expression at all, just coldness.

As you took your place across from him, you observed him gazing over you for a moment, almost like he was assessing you. But his expressions didn’t change. There was no warmth.

You weren’t sure whether he liked what he saw or whether he was disappointed, possibly by the fact that you were much younger than he had expected or perhaps he preferred a different hair colour or larger breasts.

There was an awkward silence between you as you both starred at each other until, finally, the priest began to speak.

‘We are gathered here in the presence of God, family, and friends to unite Thomas Shelby and Y/N Y/LN in holy matrimony’ the priest went on to say before speaking a prayer, as per your request.

Then, it was time for the all-important question.

‘Do you Y/N Y/LN take Thomas Shelby to be your lawfully wedded husband?’ the priest asked.

‘I do’ you said nervously, starring at Tommy.

‘’And do you Thomas Shelby take Y/N Y/LN to be your lawfully wedded wife?’ the priest asked.

‘I do’ Tommy said, his hands still interlinked with each other.

‘Then, by the power vested in me by God, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride’ the priest said, but Tommy made no attempt to kiss you.

‘We might save that one for later, ey?’ Tommy said as he saw the nervousness in your face. You responded with nothing but a simple nod as you reached for his hand.

‘Are we done here?’ Tommy asked before he obliged and took your hand into his as you both stepped down from the altar and walked towards the exit of the Church.

Your families and guests were cheering as the Church bells began to ring.

You couldn’t help it but feel apprehensive and thought that, if the reception was going to be as awkward as the ceremony, this would be a long night.

Outside the church, you and your families posed for a picture before Tommy took you to his car.

There were no white horses and carriages as you had imagined on your wedding day. There was nothing romantic about this at all.

There was an awkward silence as you stepped inside his Silver Bentley. He started the car without saying a word.

You didn’t know what to say yourself and couldn’t even bare to look at him.

Just before you arrived at the reception venue, he looked over to you.

‘I am sorry you’ve been made to do this’ Tommy said, just as he stopped the car.

‘So am I’ you said as you pushed open the car door and walked inside. The weather was dreadful and you didn’t wait for Tommy.

The reception was barely a reception at all. There was nothing but business talk and your husband ignored you for the entire evening.

By that time, you were certain that he disliked you. He didn’t want this marriage any more than you did.

After several hours of easing your pain with champaign while you engaged into meaningless conversations with Arthur Shelby’s wife Linda, Tommy told you that it was time to go home.

You couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like, your new home.

You were hoping for it to be big enough so that you didn’t have to see your husband very often and endure this awkwardness and silence between you.

The drive home was as silent as the drive to the reception venue. Tommy didn’t speak a word to you, again.

At least this gave you time to think about the task ahead.

Your mother had spoken to you about marriage and what it entails.

She had also spoken with you about consummation of your marriage, which was something you were nervous, almost fearful, about.

Whilst, in your opinion, Tommy was very attractive, you have never been with a man before and you wanted your first time to be with someone you loved not someone you just met.

You told your mother exactly that, but she explained to you how important it is to fulfill your wifely duties and keep your husband happy from the beginning and always thereafter.

The truth was that you were afraid of the pain it will entail. You knew it was going to be painful and it wasn’t as if you didn’t already have to endure enough pain on your wedding day. Your mother explained to you that you would get used to it, the pain will fade and, eventually, it becomes nothing more than a chore.

As you finally stepped out of the car and inside Tommy’s house, you were emotionally prepared for what was to come and were probably drunk enough too.

The house was larger than any other house you had ever seen. You couldn’t believe that Tommy was living in the house by himself.

Tommy took the time to personally show you the house and introduce you to the maids. That was probably the most he had spoken to you all day.

It felt somewhat surreal. This is where you were going live now, with your husband, a total stranger.

Tommy told you that you could use every room in the house as you pleased but that you were not allowed in his office or his bedroom.

‘Your bedroom? Will we not be sharing a bedroom?’ you asked, causing Tommy to chuckle.

‘No Y/N, we will not be sharing a bedroom’ Tommy said before showing you your bedroom. You were relieved to say the least.

‘You can redecorate it if you like’ Tommy said as he opened the door.

Your bedroom was large, with a study desk and your own bathroom attached to it.

It was well decorated and felt warm and welcoming.

‘Thank you’ you said turning around, causing Tommy to nod.

‘I have some work to do now. If you need anything, please call for one of the maids’ Tommy said as he excused himself.

‘Goodnight Thomas’ you said, receiving no response.

After Tommy left, you changed into your nightgown and lied down on your bed. But, there was no way that you could fall asleep just yet. You still felt uncomfortable and out of place.

After about thirty minutes, you decided to get up and make yourself a cup of tea. You weren’t used to be served by maids and enjoyed doing things for yourself.

As you wandered through the house towards the kitchen, you heard noises coming from one of the hallways.

Intrigued, you followed the hallway and observed that there was light shining from the reading room which was also where the noises came from.

You carefully approached the room, glancing in from the distance.

This when you saw Tommy, still wearing his suit while being intimate with the young blonde maid Marie to whom you were introduced earlier that evening.

Keeping quiet, you couldn’t help but stare at them.

Marie was being bent over the big oak study desk while Tommy was behind her, thrusting into her harshly and almost emotionless.

He held onto her hips tightly while she was moaning, digging her nails into the solid oak.

After five minutes of observation, you had enough and quietly walked to the kitchen where you boiled the kettle and made yourself a tea.

‘Mrs Shelby, I could have done this for you’ Francis said, startling you as you poured the hot water into the teapot.

‘That’s quite alright Francis. In fact, I enjoy being in the kitchen. Perhaps, if Thomas allows it, I could cook dinner one night?’ you said, waiting for some kind of approval.

‘That would be lovely Mrs Shelby’ Francis said before you excused yourself.

As you returned to your room you couldn’t help but think about Tommy and Marie. By no means did you blame him. But you also couldn’t help it but wonder why he didn’t take any desire in you. Did he rather want to sleep with his maid than his wife?

Was it that he disliked you or was it that he was trying to be kind, not making any advances towards you because you were forced into this marriage.

The next morning you woke at 7am after spending most of the night pondering about your future as Thomas Shelby’s wife.

After you got dressed, you walked downstairs and joined your husband for breakfast.

‘Good Morning’ you said as you sat down.

‘Good Morning Y/N’ Tommy said, glancing up from his newspaper for a moment to make eye contact with you.

‘Have you slept alright?’ he then asked.

‘Yes, thank you. The bed is very comfortable’ you said shyly.

‘That’s good’ Tommy said before continuing to read the paper.

This was all you spoke as you quietly ate your breakfast.

The next few weeks were just as quiet.

Tommy ignored you for the most part and continued to engage in sexual encounters with Marie. The worst of it was that he didn’t even bother to hide it from you.

Sometimes they would do it in the reading room, sometimes in one of the guest rooms and occasionally even in the stables.

You couldn’t help it but ask Francis about her and Francis told you that she had only been employed by Tommy for the past eight weeks. She was French and her breakfast was terrible. Clearly, she had other talents which kept your husband happy.

Just as you were in the reading room yourself, looking for a particular book, Tommy approached you.

‘Do you play chess?’ he asked.

‘Do I play chess?’ you asked surprised, closing your book. He didn’t talk to you for weeks and this was the question he wanted asked you? You were in disbelieve.

‘Yes, do you play?’ Tommy asked again as he poured himself a glass of Whiskey.

‘Yes, I do, would you like a game?’ you asked.

‘Yes, I’ve been learning. It’s somewhat boring but also extremely satisfying’ Tommy said, making you laugh.

‘It’s strategic, that’s probably why you enjoy it’ you said while you brushed your hair out of your face.

‘Please’ Tommy said as he turned around the chessboard on the coffee table, indicating for you to make your first move and begin the game.

You made your move and noticed that Tommy’s eyes wandered over to you rather than the chessboard, causing you to blush.

You played for about twenty minutes and began to make conversation, which is when you realised that Tommy had been observing you and taken an interest in what you might like.

‘I am thinking about getting another race horse’ Tommy said. ‘Perhaps you could help me choose one’ he added.

‘Me? Choose a horse?’ you asked surprised.

‘Yes. I noticed that you have taken an interest in the horses and I would like you to accompany me to the upcoming auction’ Tommy said. ‘It would be in my best interest to attend this event with my wife’ he added to justify his request.

‘I would love to attend with you’ you said with a smile.

‘There will be other members of parliament attending the auction and there will be a function afterwards. You will need to buy yourself a dress. Elegant, but simple’ Tommy said as he handed you some money.

‘Alright’ you said before moving your queen. Tommy clearly hasn’t been paying attention to the game.

‘Checkmate’ you grinned.

‘Well well, you just beat me at chess’ Tommy said as Francis walked in to the room with some tea for you.

‘Your wife is a smart woman Mr Shelby’ Francis said, giving you a wink.

‘I’ve noticed. Now would you excuse me, I have some more work to do’ Tommy said, smiling at you for the very first time.

The next day you drove into town to buy yourself a dress. By that time you had already done your research on the horses available for auction and the one you had your eye on was called ‘Emerald’.

It won two races quite recently and was slightly more expensive than the budget Tommy had given you.

With that in mind, you considered it to be fitting to purchase an emerald green dress, elegant but yet simple, just as Tommy had requested.

Over the next week, leading up to the auction, Tommy and you played chess almost every day. He hated losing and was determined to eventually beat you.

Even before the auction, he demanded a game and you made sure that you were ready for him.

A gasp escaped Tommy as you entered the reading room wearing your emerald green dress.

‘Is that alright for the auction?’ you asked shyly, wanting to ensure that Tommy approves of the dress.

‘Just missing one small detail Mrs Shelby’ he said as he handed you a box covered with black satin.

You opened the box and, inside, there was a diamond necklace with matching earrings.

‘Thomas’ you said, being stunned by the pieces of jewellery.

‘You will need to fit in Y/N. After all, you are my wife’ Tommy said as you turned around and he placed the neckless onto your neck.

After you looked at yourself in the mirror, you and Tommy played a quick game of chess before making your way to the car and drive to the auction.

At the auction, Tommy introduced you to everyone as his wife but, as usual, he kept his gestures to a minimum. He held your hand once, maybe twice, for show.

You were well spoken and engaged with the other politicians’ wives. The topics that were spoken about were of no real interest to you, but you played along for Tommy’s sake.

Later, at the function, you mingled with the same women while Tommy engaged in pollical discussions with members of parliament and judges.

You couldn’t wait for the night to be over, you were bored beyond belief.

Finally, Tommy told you that it was time for you to leave. He had further business to attend to at the Garrison and you requested that he take you along.

He reluctantly agreed and, as you arrived, the Garrison was packed with drunk men.

You were glad to see Polly and Ada again as you arrived and engaged into conversations with them before their business meeting with Tommy.

But just as Tommy turned his back on you and gave some instructions to Arthur, you were approached by another patron.

‘Good Day Love’ he said, not receiving any reaction from you.

‘Woman, I am talking to you’ he said harshly after you tried hard to ignore him.

‘Sir, please leave me alone’ you said patiently as, all of a sudden, he grabbed your wrist harshly.

‘Love, I can pay well you know. So, whatever offer you have for tonight, I will double it. It is rare to find a whore as pretty and clean as you’ the man said.

‘Get your hand of me. I am not a whore’ you said as, all of a sudden, you heard Tommy approach.

‘Ay, this is my wife you are talking to’ Tommy said harshly, pointing his gun at the man.

‘Mr Shelby’ the man said with a scared voice.

‘Now apologise to her and then fuck off before I blow your head off’ Tommy said angrily.

‘My apologies Mrs Shelby, I didn’t know’ the man said with embarrassment, his pants wet before he made a run for the door.

‘Did he just piss himself?’ Arthur said with laughter as he gave Tommy a nudge.

‘Fucking hell…this is no place for woman like you Mrs Shelby’ Arthur laughed but you weren’t in the mood for jokes. The man had grabbed your wrist harshly and you were somewhat scared by his determination.

‘Are you alright?’ Tommy asked, his hands running over your upper arms.

‘I am fine Tommy. I am sure it was just a misunderstanding’ you smiled.

‘I don’t care. No one speaks to my wife like this’ he said.

‘Now let’s get you a drink, ey? What would you like?’ Tommy asked.

‘Whiskey please’ you responded.

‘Irish or Scotch?’ Tommy asked.

‘Irish’ you responded.

‘Well, we have something in common then’ Tommy said with a smile as he asked you to join him for the business meeting.

‘Perhaps we are yet to discover a lot about each other’ you said, causing Tommy to chuckle.

‘Most people do this before they get married’ Tommy said as you followed him.

You stayed at the Garrison for another hour before you made your back to the house.

The drive was much more pleasant than before and, even though you may never be lovers, you had now found things to speak about with each other.

‘Will you have another glass of whiskey with me?’ you asked Tommy as you arrived at the house and he handed Francis both of your coats.

‘I suppose why not’ Tommy said as he walked you to the living room.

Tommy poured each of you a glass of whiskey before sitting down on the lounge next to you.

‘I enjoyed today, thank you’ you said.

‘And I enjoyed your company. You did well with all of these arrogant bastards’ Tommy smirked, causing you both to laugh.

‘You don’t like politicians much do you?’ you asked.

‘No, I fucking hate them’ Tommy smirked, causing you to laugh again. After all, he was one of them.

You talked about politics and horses for quite some time until you changed the topic.

‘Tommy?’ you said all of the blue, before pausing.

‘Yes?’ he asked curiously.

‘It is none of my business but, do you love her?’ you asked.

‘Love who?’ Tommy responded.

‘Marie. I know you have been sleeping with her’ you said.

‘No, I do not love her. I do however enjoy her company, although not so much for making conversation’ Tommy said with a chuckle.

‘Do you enjoy my company?’ you asked shyly, looking down at your glass.

‘In a different way, I do’ Tommy said.

‘In a different way, but not in the way a husband enjoys the company of his wife’ you said.

‘Listen, Y/N, neither of us have asked for this marriage. It was your father who insisted and the business between me and your father is extremely lucrative as you know. If I would have known that you are…’ Tommy said, and before he could finish his sentence, you interrupted him.

‘That I am so young?’ you asked before pausing, causing Tommy to sigh. ‘If you would have known, you would have forgone the deal?’ you added.

‘I would have asked your father to consider a more suitable match, a trusted man of mine closer to your age’ Tommy said.

‘Well, it is what it is Tommy. There is no turning back now’ you said, taking another sip of your Whisky, before standing up.

‘I think Marie is waiting for you’ you smirked before excusing yourself.

As you walked to your room, tears were running down your face. You couldn’t help it but, for some reason, you wanted Tommy to be a husband to you.

Were you falling in love with him, the man you were being forced to marry? Are you asking for the impossible? Being loved by a man like Thomas Shelby?

You were devastated by thoughts that he would rather be with his maid than with his wife and wondered why he didn’t see you the way you now wanted to be seen.

First fearful about being with him, you now wanted to be with him and you certainly didn’t want him to be with your maid.

As you went to bed that night, you remembered what your mother had told you about keeping your husband happy in order to achieve a fruitful marriage.

You also remembered that, when your mother and father were in disagreement about matters or your mother was worried about your father’s indiscretions, she would add a little spark to their marriage with a nice meal and paying her wifely duties.

With that in mind, you decided to take things further the following week after Tommy returns from his business trip.

Part Two

‘Good Evening Mr Shelby, how as your trip?’ Francis asked as Tommy arrived back home.

‘Fine, thank you’ Tommy said, handing Francis his coat while Marie grabbed Tommy’s bag.

‘Mrs Shelby prepared dinner sir’ Francis said.

‘She did?’ Tommy asked surprised.

‘Yes, sir. She is waiting for you in the dining room’ Francis said.

‘Do we have guests?’ Tommy asked, causing Francis to shake her head.

‘No sir, just you and Mrs Shelby and she said that you do not wish to disturbed’ Francis said, causing Tommy ponder before he excused Francis, allowing her to finish some of her chores.

‘Will I see you later Thomas?’ Marie asked, causing Tommy to nod before walking to the dining room.

As he entered the dining room, he saw you sitting at the table wearing a beautiful but yet revealing black satin dress and the diamonds he had bought for you to wear at the auction.

Your hair was open, long curls falling over your shoulder.

You were wearing dark eye shadow and red lipstick and your skin smelled like musk and flowers.

‘Good Evening Thomas’ you said with a smile.

‘Is this a special occasion?’ Tommy asked, causing you to shake your head.

‘No, I just thought I would cook something nice for my husband’ you smirked before calling Marie for some wine and telling her that she may serve dinner.

‘You know she will probably burn whatever you prepared’ Tommy said jokingly. He knew that you were very well aware that serving food and food preparation wasn’t one of her chores.

‘I am sure she’s got other qualities’ you said cheekily.

As you talked and ate together, you discovered that Tommy had a pretty bad week.

Amongst other things, he told you about a man called Mosley whom he had met in London two days ago and problems with one of the judges. After that, you moved on to discuss more pleasant matters.

‘Would you like a game of chess and a whiskey to end the day?’ you asked as hours had paused.

‘Alright’ Tommy said and it wasn’t until you got up from your chair and walked with him towards the reading room that he saw the entirety of your dress, which complimented your curves.

‘You look beautiful in this dress Y/N’ Tommy said, not sure what else to say in that moment.

‘We have been married for 6 weeks now and this is the first time you have complimented me’ you said with a smile.

‘I didn’t consider it to be appropriate’ Tommy said as he sat down next to you, handing you a glass of whiskey.

‘I am your wife Tommy’ you smiled. ‘Do you not find me attractive?’ you asked.

‘I do. But, considering the circumstances surrounding our marriage and your age, making any advance towards you would have interfered with my conscience ‘Tommy said.

‘And I am grateful for that Tommy. But, whilst I can be in a loveless marriage, I cannot be in a marriage without any emotion at all’ you said suggestively.

‘So, what do you suggest?’ Tommy asked.

‘I suggest that we consummate our marriage and give it the chance it deserves’ you said, causing Tommy to chuckle.

‘Consummate our marriage, ey?’ Tommy said. He was surprised by your proposal.

‘Yes, unless you rather fuck your maid than your wife’ you said sheepishly and with a smirk. It was clear to Tommy that you were being sarcastic and he began to like this mischievous side of you.

‘Well then Mrs Shelby, shall we go to my room or yours?’ Tommy smirked.

‘Mine’ you said determined as you stood up and offered him your hand.

As you and Tommy arrived at your bedroom, Tommy closed the door behind you while you crossed to the bed to turn on the bedside lamp.

The light was just enough to show him all that he needed to see and no more than you wished to reveal.

Tommy walked over towards you as you stood next to the bed.

Leaning in from behind you, he swept your hair over one of your shoulders and pressed a kiss against the back of your neck while one of his hands dragged the zipper of your dress down tooth by tooth.

Slipping his hands beneath the fine satin, Tommy pushed the dress downward and letting it fall to the ground.

Taking a step back, he admired you, studying every tiny detail of your entire body.

Watching you turn, Tommy reached out and a smile flitted across his lips when you slid your hand into his before stepping up flush against him.

‘You haven’t even kissed your wife yet’ you said shyly before leaning in and pressing your lips on Tommy’s lips.

His lips were soft and tasted like Whiskey. He was a good kisser and it wasn’t long until his tongue found its way into your mouth.

The kiss soon became urgent and heated while Tommy’s hands moved behind your back, unclipping your bra. It landed on the floor right next to your dress.

His hands were urgently exploring every part of you and you could feel his erection press against you.

As he ran his hands over your firm breasts and breathed deeply, it was clear to you now that he desired you.

‘Tommy?’ you said with a hasty voice as his hand wandered lower, wanting him to slow down. Your heart was pounding by that time and some apprehension had set in.

‘Yes’ Tommy said while he took off his shirt, letting it join your dress in holy matrimony.

‘I haven’t done this before’ you said with some embarrassment as you rested your hands on his bare chest while your eyes were exploring his tattoos.

‘You have never had sex before?’ Tommy asked with slight worry in his voice, causing you to bite your lip and shake your head.

‘Are you sure you want to do this tonight? Tommy asked, running his hand gently over your cheek.

‘Yes Tommy, I am sure. I want to be yours’ you said.

‘You are mine regardless Y/N’ Tommy said with a slight laugh as he caressed your face. In his mind, he had already claimed you. You were his wife.

‘Please Tommy, I want you’ you said with a smile.

‘Alright, I will take it slow then but you must tell me if I hurt you’ Tommy said concerned, causing you to nod. It’s been over 20 years since he had been anyone’s first and this was not something he expected having to encounter again.

Tommy’s touch became gentler almost immediately and you loved the softness of his fingertips on your skin.

His fingers were exploring every corner of your body, for now steering clear from your most intimate parts, while your tongues danced in sync with each other.

After some more passionate kisses, you let your eyes rove over the expanse of his chest and down the ridges in his torso, which was an area of his body you didn’t dare to look at until then.

You bit the corner of your lip shyly as you pushed the zipper of his pants down with a single fingertip, the fingers of your other hand relieving the button.

You almost let out a soft laugh when Tommy let out a sigh of relief as the pressure lightened considerably around his bulge which was now hidden only behind the thin fabric of his briefs.

Even through the fabric, he seemed huge and for a moment you doubted your decision but then you looked up at him and every ounce of niggling doubt was erased from your mind as his blue eyes gazed into yours.

Tommy stepped out of his shoes and let his trousers nose-dive to the ground as he stepped forward, guiding you back to the bed that stood center stage in the gigantic room.

Brushing his fingertips across your cheek, Tommy rubbed the curve of your side and laid you gently back on the bed.

‘I think I got lucky, having such a beautiful wife’ Tommy said as he lowered himself onto the bed and before exchanging another passionate kiss with you.

Tommy’s lips soon made their way from your mouth to your neck and then over to your breasts.

Every little kiss or touch made your heart gallop within your chest, your blood pounding through your veins, soaring through your body at speeds greater than that of light or sound, or so it felt.

Brushing your fingers through Tommy’s hair as he explored your body, you caressed his cheek and stared down at him, your hips rising subconsciously as Tommy teased the soft skin of your abdomen with tiny kisses and nibbles.

There was a fleeting moment of second guessing when Tommy’s fingertips edged beneath the lacey edge of your panties but as soon as he kissed the skin he revealed it was gone.

Your hips were again rising as Tommy removed the scrap of dark fabric from the apex of your thighs to reveal a silky smooth mound of flesh and the now engorged rosebud of your clit.

Hearing him gasp at the sight, you blushed but followed it with a moan as Tommy leaned down and kissed it once, the length of his tongue sweeping out to take a taste of your secret delicacy.

This was something you didn’t expect. What on earth was he doing?

As you were completely naked before him and he was so close to your most intimate parts, you felt more vulnerable than you had ever been in your entire life but you didn't regret it.

Everything that Tommy did to you in that moment made you jump out of your skin in the most wonderful ways possible.

After he gently ran his tongue over your slit a few times, Tommy told you to relax as he pulled gently at your leg and you slowly let them fall open.

You tried hard not to tense up and, even though you didn't know what he was planning on doing, what he did so far felt good so you were willing to give all of yourself to him.

‘That’s it’ Tommy said after you took a deep breath and relaxed your body.

Tommy took this moment to dip his tongue inside of you gently, causing a loud moan to escape you.

His tongue was skilled, moving in and of you slightly while his hands pressed your legs apart gently.

Tommy then moved his tongue over your clit, flicking it slightly and causing you to make a high pitch noise of some sort.

‘Tommy’ you moaned at the sensation. It was almost too intense.

You closed your eyes as waves of pleasure coursed through your body while Tommy kept pleasuring you with his tongue.

When Tommy's fingers finally brushed against your entrance to join his tongue, you gasped and jumped.

‘Tommy’ you moaned but were also slightly worried about what he might do with his fingers.

Tommy’s erection was throbbing from within his briefs but he knew very well that he would have to take it very slow. As much as he wanted to be inside of you right then and there, he was aware that there was some preparation to be done.

With trembling fingers Tommy gently spread your virgin lips open and let his finger brush against your clit while his tongue continued to run through your folds.

He heard her sharp intake of breath from you when he guided his finger inside of you carefully while his tongue played with your clit.

By that time, you were soaked and he could feel the juices coating his finger.

As he pushed his finger deeper inside of you, he could hear your soft cry of surprise and you arched your back up suddenly.

‘Just relax’ Tommy said as he could feel no resistance inside of you.

He pressed you gently back to the bed and dropped more kisses against your virgin lips before circling against your clit again.

You closed your eyes tight and held your body completely still.

‘Tommy, oh god’ you moaned as he moved his finger in and out of you slowly, over and over again.

You were tight around his finger and had no idea how he would possibly fit his cock inside of you.

It wasn’t long until you moved your hips upward, showing Tommy that you were enjoying what he was doing to you.

Tommy sucked hard at your clit, loving it with his tongue as he slid a second finger inside of you carefully and started sawing it in and out.

‘Tommy’ you cringed at the pressure, causing him to slow down again and holding his fingers steady until the pressure eased.

When he could feel you relax, he began moving his fingers in and out of you again and it wasn’t long until you felt a very unfamiliar tightening in your belly.

‘Tommy, oh my god, please don’t stop’ you begged as your breathing started coming out heavier.

Unlike you, Tommy knew that you were close to having an orgasm and he increased the pressure of his tongue around your clit while continuing to move his fingers in and out of you.

Still unsure about what was happening inside of you, you grabbed onto the sheets as, suddenly, a feeling of ecstasy rushed through you.

‘Tommy, fuck’ you screamed, not being able to control yourself while your orgasm washed over you.

Tommy couldn’t help but smile against your flesh as you coated his fingers in your juices.

After you had come down from your high, Tommy slowly pulled his fingers out of you and moved up the bed to kiss you passionately.

You could taste yourself on Tommy’s lips. It was strange, but you enjoyed it.

‘I don’t know what just happened. I hope the maids didn’t hear me’ you said totally embarrassed as your lips drifted apart.

‘If they didn’t then they are clearly deaf’ Tommy laughed.

‘Oh my god, how embarrassing’ you said. ‘I didn’t expect…’ you said, and before you could finish your sentence, Tommy interrupted you.

‘You didn’t expect it to feel that good?’ Tommy asked, causing you to shake your head.

‘Well, Mrs Shelby, I will make you feel good every day from now on’ Tommy grinned before kissing you again.

‘Is that a promise Mr Shelby?’ you asked in between more passionate kisses while your hand moved in between his legs and beneath his briefs.

‘It’s a promise’ Tommy said as he let out a small groan as you began to stroke his hard cock.

He was thicker than you had expected and your nervousness returned in an instant as he took off his briefs.

‘We can wait if you want’ Tommy said as you continued to stroke his hard cock with your hand.

‘No Tommy, I want to feel all of you’ you said with a gentle voice before Tommy ran his hands lovingly over your legs, pushing them apart all the way, much further than he did earlier.

You took in a deep breath as you gazed into Tommy’s blue eyes while he rested himself in between your legs.

He smiled and kissed you softly. You knew that, what was about to follow would hurt. Nonetheless, you wanted him inside of you so badly.

‘We will take it slow, alright?’ Tommy said with a reassuring voice.

You brought your arms up around Tommy’s neck and pulled his lips to yours, kissing him softly once again.

‘I trust you’ you said, looking deep into his eyes after your lips drifted apart.

With his look fixated on you, Tommy reached down between your legs and grasped his cock in his hand before rubbing his tip against your soaking entrance.

You moaned softly as you felt the head of his cock pressing against you. But, as soon as you could feel him push inside of you, you inhaled roughly.

‘Tommy’ you moaned as he slowly pressed forward with his hips.

You couldn’t help it but gasp as you felt him start to enter you.

You dug your hands into his shoulder and held onto him tightly as you felt yourself being stretched.

‘Fuck’ Tommy groaned lightly, trying to force himself to go slow. It took more willpower than he had expected not to simply plunge into you as you were incredibly tight around him.

Pushing into you slowly, inch by inch, he finally felt your barrier. He stopped and looked down at you.

You gave your husband the look of approval as you tightened the hold on his shoulders and wrapped your legs around his waist.

Tommy leaned down, pressing his lips onto yours just before he nudged forward and slipped past that barrier.

As your fingernails dug into the flesh on his shoulders, Tommy swallowed your moan that was different from all the others you let loose earlier that night.

It was indeed painful and some small tears escaped your eyes as he filled you completely.

Tommy kissed away your tears before cradling you against him as he paused once more, giving you some time to adjust.

It was killing him to hold still but he wanted to wait until you were ready.

As you adjusted to him inside of you, the last sliver of pain disappeared and was overtaken by pleasure.

Tommy could feel you starting to relax and move beneath him as he continued to place small kisses on your neck.

He moaned as he felt your small movements and it tugged on his cock.

It wasn’t long until he began to move himself, small and gentle thrusts to start with.

Your thighs clenched and your toes flexed, your hips rising in vain to meet his again only to be pressed back into the bed when he sank back into you.

‘Oh god Tommy’ you moaned loudly. You could've screamed right then and there, from the highest point on the face of the earth, from the insane amount of pleasure you felt.

‘You are so god damn beautiful’ Tommy said as he continued to thrust into, picking up in speed and force.

Your nipples grazed his chest every time your hips collided as your movements became syntonised with his.

Every movement he made, no matter how small, brought a new sound out of you, your voice cresting and dropping to new highs and lows that you never even thought you would reach let alone soar passed regularly.

His thrusts soon became more urgent and you pressed into him firmly, wanting him to burry himself into you over and over again.

By that time, you had lost count of how many times the pressure had built within the cradle of your hips only to explode like a weapon of mass destruction, bringing copious amounts of toe-curling, eye-clenching amounts of pleasure so great that it seemed impossible that the next surge would ever top its predecessor.

By the sounds of your moans, Tommy knew that you were getting close to another orgasm and he was getting so close himself.

He held tight to your hips as he drove hard and fast in and out of you, making you whimper with need.

‘Oh my god Tommy, yes’ you moaned and begged slamming back against him the best you could.

Your body was wound so tight you felt like your body was going to come apart any second.

Your legs began to shiver and your walls were tightening around him as your orgasm came at you like a freight train.

‘Tommy’ you screamed at the top of your lungs, sending him over the edge also.

You came in sync with each other and, with the next thrust, he filled you with his warm cum and coated your insides, flooding you just as you did the exact same thing to him.

‘Fuck Y/N’ he moaned as his thrusts became sloppier while you both came down from your highs.

Moments later, Tommy collapsed next to you before pulling you closer for a kiss.

‘Are you alright?’ Tommy asked, running his hands over your cheek.

‘Yes’ you said quietly but with a big smile on your face.

‘The next time will be easier’ Tommy said, causing your eyes to light up.

‘You know I will hold you to the promise you made me earlier Tommy’ you said.

‘I was hoping that you would’ he grinned before wrapping his arm around you, pulling you onto his chest.

‘Will you stay with me tonight?’ you said as Tommy was brushing through your hair with his fingers.

‘Yes. Tonight and every night from now on if you want me to’ Tommy said gently.

Your body felt relaxed and at ease and, for the first time in six weeks, you felt comfortable in your own bed with your husband right beside you.

That night, he showed you a side of himself you hadn’t seen before, a side you were seeing yourself fall in love with it.

With Tommy holding you close, it wasn’t long until you drifted off to sleep.

But you weren’t the only who felt relaxed and at ease.

Tommy watched you sink into your dreams and a smile emerged on his face. He felt a familiar warmth washing over him, something he thought he wouldn’t be able to feel again.

As he turned off the bedside lamp, he felt a happiness that he hadn’t felt in a long time. Unlike other nights, he wasn’t afraid to drift off to sleep because he knew that, tonight, there would be no nightmares and no memories of Grace, there would only be you.

#cillian murphy #cillian murphy smut #Cillian Murphy x Reader #cillian murphy imagine #Tommy Shelby #tommy shelby smut #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby imagine #thomas shelby #thomas shelby smut #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby imagine #Peaky Blinders #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinders fanfic

2K notes · View notes

rayofsunas · 3 years

Text

s/o has a mental/nervous breakdown.

A/n: hello everyone! I hope your day is going alright, and that you’re doing well 🥰 I recently hit 300+ folllwers, like Sunday morning, and omg, that was the best thing to wake up too 🥺❤️ thank you those new and old for following and taking a chance with my account and sometimes trashy works 🙃 I’m gonna make a longer post at some point saying my thanks and discuss what I plan to do to celebrate 300 followers. It would really mean a lot to me if you guys chimed in if you have any ideas, after all, this is a thanks to you and I want you all to be involved! also, if you saw my recent rambles about how a draft was deleted, it’s referring to this post... what I had written got deleted TWICE in the span of FIVE MINUTES. gosh I was so pissed, I almost screamed. mobile tumblr is not it 😔 but here we are. I hope you like this. I tried to write this three times.... 🤡 also, since I am not a doctor or anything, I put a link to possible symptoms/what a “mental breakdown” is, that’s in the warnings, just click the link, it helped with my accuracy.

Summary: s/o has a mental/nervous breakdown.

Parings: Xiao/Reader, Scaramouche/Reader, Albedo/Reader, Childe/Reader (all fem reader)

Warnings: angst, mental breakdown (panic attacks, stress, anxiety, ptsd, hallucinations, insomnia) fluff, swearing, mentions of death, mentions of injury

Word count: 3.5k (whew after tumblr DELETING this draft twice here we are folks ;-;)

requested by @mintyhuening

Xiao

he knew you weren’t okay at all

Xiao knew the moment you locked yourself in your house

at first he thought maybe you were just temporarily feeling this way, but as the weeks passed and you hadn’t come out, he decided maybe not

coming from someone who enjoyed silence and solitude he could understand the distancing part, but it had been weeks, and even he needed socialization, so why hadn’t you come out?

you spoke to him through the door a few times, letting him know you were alright

he didn’t believe that though, sure you were alive, but not alright, he was mainly checking for confirmation to see if you were still alive while he thought of a good way to approach the situation

he didn’t want to invade your privacy, but he also hated the fact that you wouldn’t come out, not even to see him

it was lonely without you, he concluded

even for someone who enjoy solitude

you were a careful creature, but never this careful and cautious...

were humans always like this?

eventually, he couldn’t stand it, and did find other ways to get into your house

he grew antsy after pacing outside your door for days

he found you huddled in your bed, a heap of pillows and blankets surrounding you

you were shocked to see him when he’d sat down on the foot of the bed, causing it to dip significantly

“How did you get in?” You snapped once you saw who it was.

“I have my ways.” He said raspily. With a huff of annoyance, you were back to facing the wall, away from the Adepti.

“It’s dark in here.” He announced matter a factly, looking around the nearly pitch-black room, windows and doors covered by sheets and hefty duty curtains. “It’s how I like it.”

“It’s not healthy.”

“I don’t care, go away.”

Xiao was starting to grow impatient surprisingly, he truly just wanted to help, why couldn't you see that?

“Being passive is not going to help the situation, please tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing, I’m just tired.”

He worried. If he said the wrong, would you push him away even further? If he said the right thing, would you even care? Did you want help?

Xiao moved closer to you, hand going to touch your leg, although it was underneath the blankets, you felt it and did have to admit the affection was comforting.

“Don’t do this to yourself,” Xiao said. “Your friends miss you, I miss you as well.”

Maybe if you weren’t cooped up here anymore, you would start to come around. The room and house all together were very stuffy, dark, and depressing, he despised it.

“It’s beautiful outside, come with me,” he'd whispered. “At least if you don’t want to be around people, could you allow me to take you to a secluded area?”

“The fresh air will do you good.”

You were thinking about it, you had to of been if you still cared.

“Fine, mother.” He watched with hope in his eyes as you slowly rose from the bed, and began

The outside world was very very bright at first, enough to induce a headache. But you became used to it the more you were out.

Xiao stayed true to his word like you knew he would unless you wouldn’t have come. You were taken to a very secluded area, there wasn’t even a path or road to it, just green luscious grass, and crystal core everywhere, beautiful blue and orange ones; Anemo and Geo respectively. You weren’t sure where you were, somewhere between Mondstadt and Liyue, you assumed.

The fresh air did wonders, Xiao had noticed. You seemed to open up. Telling him a little of the problem. You had told him about how life was just stressful right now, you hadn’t taken any commissions in weeks, spoken to any of your friends Mondstadt, hence why they had come to him, accusing him of kidnapping and brainwashing you. He was offended, nonetheless let them know that wasn’t the case.

The ever so secluded Xiao would take you out more, slowly introducing you to crowds of people, and would still take you on daily walks to that secret place you now called your special spot.

It would take a while, he knew that, and you wouldn’t be comfortable doing everything that others around you did, maybe not for a while. He could respect that, as long as you allowed him to help and encourage you.

Scaramouche

being a harbinger was HARD, Scaramouche knew that, even if he didn’t admit it

admitting it was challenging, could lead to always being doubted or seen as incompetent. therefore, no one mentions how hard it is

he had been off doing his duties when he got news that you had lashed out at a few lower rank fatui on your team, resulting in you being called in to meet with The Tsaritsa... let's just say she went easy on you because you were one of her highest ranking soldiers, if not, she would've severely punished you

you were forced back to your sleeping quarters immediately to calm down, told to stay put until you could stop “lashing out like a child” as she had put it

you weren’t one to argue against The Tsaritsa, everyone knew that was common rule... so you walked back as calmly as you could without snapping at anyone else

when Scaramouche had heard how you acted, he was annoyed

the always so calm and calculated Y/n, lashing out at her fellow members? he couldn’t help but be annoyed, despite it being completely out of character of you

he had finished his duties relatively quick, wondering why you were acting so out of character

when he got back, he found you in your sleeping quarters, pacing in front of the large windows near the furthest end of your room

you were still wearing your typical combat gear, though your hair disheveled and body language looking extremely anxious, he hoped it was not yours...

“What did you do this time?” Had asked the violet-eyed man, carelessly throwing his hat on your bed, lean arms folding across his chest.

No response.

“Excuse me, I believe I asked you a question.”

A loud irritable huff.

“Be quiet for once in your life, Scaramouche.” You hissed, anxiously biting at your nails. “Sorry- I’m just trying to calm down, but my heart can’t stop racing.”

Scaramouche wasn’t the most in-touch person with his feelings, and out of all the harbingers, he was one of the more difficult ones to deal with.

Surprisingly, he had shut up, despite finding it difficult to hold his malicious comment back.

“What’s wrong?” Your lover asked, more softly this time.

“My mission today was... hard. I know you said it’s important for missions to just be a one and done; no hard feelings. And you know I’ve always been that way. But this one was different.” His eyebrows furrowed, his forehead creasing in annoyance.

“I can’t help but think about what they did.”

“Did you get what you went for? I heard you sought after information regarding that Knight, Aether.”

“Yes, but-”

“I’d call that a successful mission,” He stared intensely, casually moving to sit on the comfort of your bed. Of course, he wouldn’t take this seriously. “Any casualties?”

“None of our men, but-”

“I don’t see the problem.”

“There were children, three little children, and those idiots just slaughtered them.”

“Ah... I see.”

Despite stating he understood, he really couldn’t sympathize with what you were saying. Those children were enemies as long as they worked against The Tsaritsa.

Your voice suddenly cut through the silence, staring directly into his eyes, “What if those were our children?”

“They weren’t.” Your eyes rolled at his comment.

“But what if!” He rolled his eyes, mocking your previous action.

“But they weren’t.” He mocked for a second time.

“You’re not helping, Scaramouche!”

“You’ll never understand, unless you see what I saw,” He knew you were right to some degree, but even then would he feel bad? A mission was a mission after all.

“They were begging me to protect them, and the youngest, she would not let go of my arm and then the next thing I knew, they were dead.” You continued, left hand going to grip your right, he assumed to show him where and how the said girl had gripped you. You were still shaking, this time being closer, he noticed how bad it was.

“They were pleading, I told them I would try my best, and then-” He had long ago stood, making himself present in front of you. His warm hands had grabbed your shaking ones harshly, ceasing the trembling momentarily.

“Please, be quiet,” The sixth harbinger snipped. “I don’t like seeing you upset.” Although it sounded harsh, he was trying his best to make it sound how he felt, even if those feelings were minuscule towards this specific topic.

“Although, I don’t agree with you about this particular concern of yours- I will do whatever you need to help you.”

Albedo

now, he may just be an alchemist, but trust me, Albedo sees the signs before anyone, he has some sort of familiarity with them due to his incessant reading

and it may have taken him longer to see the signs because of how busy he was, but he saw them

he was no fool to the likes of insomnia, in fact he knew it very well, often staying up very late into the night and morning, sometimes for days at a time

he was cooped up in his lab and it wasn’t as if his body wasn’t tired, cause hell he was, there was just s much more to learn and discover, his brain WOULD not stop,

Albedo hadn’t known how long this had been going on for, but he was seeing signs now

ngl, he didn’t notice that you hadn’t been sleeping properly until one night he decided to accompany you in bed earlier than usual (It was three a.m, yikes), and found that you were awake still

you were lying still on your side of the bed, and if it hadn’t been for the fact that he reached over to kiss your cheek, only to see your eyes open, he would’ve assumed you were alright and asleep

“You’re awake?” The ashy-blonde man asked, sliding into bed next to you.

“Can’t sleep.” You shrugged nonchalantly, scooting closer to him, seeking his warmth and comfort.

“You should’ve come to get me, I would’ve come to bed earlier with you.”

“It’s alright, I peeked in to see if you were still alive,” You joked, he chuckled. “You seemed very busy.”

“Yes, but, I thought I told you to remind me when you need attention, I often get sidetracked and enamored with my work.”

“It’s quite alright, Albedo. As long as you’re sleeping.”

He hummed, whispering tired words of adoration in your ear. That carried on for a while, as long as talking about the day's work and whatnot, until you eventually questioned, “Can I play with your hair?” The gesture was sweet, and that did sound amazing right about now since he was on the brink of sleep, but just needed that little push. But weren’t you tired?

“Aren’t you tired?”

You sat up, climbing behind Albedo, gently placing his head in your lap. “I’ll go after you.” A soft smile adorned your beautiful face. “You need sleep, you stay up for Archon knows how long.”

He selfishly allowed his eyes to close and waited for sleep to accompany him while you began untangling his two braids and ponytail. You played with and braided his hair until he’d fallen asleep as you said. You stayed up the rest of the morning though.

Eventually, probably out of boredom, you fell asleep for an hour or two around five a.m. Though, unfortunately, you were back up before six. You busied yourself while Albedo slept, starting with cleaning his lab. Albedo often did not like people touching his books, paperwork, and findings, but after instructing you how to properly take care of his stuff, he welcomed your help with open arms, seeing as though his lab was ALWAYS in shambles from not having enough time to take care of things himself.

Albedo surprisingly woke up around nine, wavy hair surrounding him like a lion, you chuckled to yourself at the sight. “How did you sleep?”

“Alright, considering my sleep schedule is nonexistent a lot of the time.” You nodded, bumping shoulders teasingly. “How about you?”

“Okay,” You said, immediately changing the subject. “I woke up early, so I cleaned your lab, I hope it’s to your likings, Kreideprinz.” You teased, bowing at the waist.

The alchemist waved you off, with a smile. “We’ll see about your organizational skills after you eat.”

How had he known?

“You haven’t eaten yet, have you?” Albedo asked, heading in the direction of the kitchen.

“That obvious.” You wondered trailing after him.

“You always wait for me, darling.”

“You look exhausted.” Albedo’s concerned voice cut in through the smooth Mondstadt breeze. You had been so distracted with the discovery in front of you, you hadn’t realized your boyfriend was staring directly at you. “When was the last time you slept?” He glanced back down at the discovery, still listening, but if you didn’t speak soon he’d be lost in his world again.

“A day or two, but-” Albedo probably got whiplash from how hard he’d snapped his head to face you, but now he was staring at you with features reading nothing but shock, cerulean eyes blown wide.

“I think your bad sleeping schedule is contagious.” You joked, trying to make the situation lighter-hearted. He didn’t laugh.

Albedo was more serious this time, proving it when he faced you completely. “What’s been going on?” His voice was soft, but he was extremely worried.

Nervousness built up in his lover's body. “Nothing! I just-” You sighed. Might as well tell him the truth, he’d coerce the answer from you no matter what it took. “It’s been harder to sleep after my injury from that ruin guard. When it hit me, I banged my head against the concrete, and ever since I guess it’s been hard to sleep.”

“You could've told me sooner. I would have stopped everything and anything for you.” Yes, that was true, that was the problem though. You didn’t want to be coddled like a baby

“I know, I’m not sure why I didn’t... Naturally, I don’t want to worry you.”

He moved closer to you so he could cradle your face in his hands. “You can always tell me anything you know that.”

“I understand that. You’re a busy man so-”

“From this moment on, my work will be dedicated to finding a cure for you.”

You panicked, not wanting to stop his work for the likes of what you were dealing with. “What? Wait no-”

“You can’t stop me, darling. You take precedence over everything.”

Albedo made it his goal to do whatever possible to help you. Whether it be spending days in his lab making concoctions in hopes of creating something that could safely aid you with sleep. Or he’s in the libraries, reading all the books on the wellness and health of humans. He’s already on top of it the minute you expressed your concerns. In the meantime, he’s going to make sure he goes to bed with you much earlier, and won’t go until you do, to ensure you’re resting.

We love sweet caretaker Albedo.

(I understand insomnia can have other causes, not just a mental or nervous breakdown, but it’s kind of implied when reader hurt her head that she’s not well.)

Childe

Childe is simply not going to know your not well, he just won’t, it’s not that he doesn’t care, it’s more so the fact that he has a hard time paying attention to anything other than his missions and duties, he does not want to slow down

you have to show signs or tell him to realize

he decided to take a break though, seeing as he did promise you dinner tonight. he told you it would be his treat, since he did have a bunch of Mora lying around that he simply had no other use for

he figured a nice dinner and trip to one of the nicer cities with more to offer would be nice, he would buy you anything you desired

it was nearing the time for dinner though, and the reservations had already been made, so when he was left waiting, let's just say he was irked...

if you didn’t want to show up, you would’ve told him, so maybe you forgot? he concluded that couldn’t be it

the last time he’d brought it up, two days ago, you had been so excited you couldn’t sit still nor stop talking about it

asking a few people around town if you had been spotted anywhere, some said you had wandered off to Luhua Pool, something about there being a myth about special healing properties within the water

now he was even more confused

one, you NEVER went to Luhua Pool, there was never a need to do so

two, special healing properties? why would you need that? were you hurt in his absence?

you were his family, and he loved his family more than anything, so if something was wrong, he’d do whatever it took to help you

he traveled from Snezhnaya to Luhua Pool in record speed

he did find you eventually, the sun was setting, but thanks to the glowing water he could make your form out easily

you were hunched over, in what looked like to be some simple greenish cloth dress, he couldn’t see what you were doing, and called out your name

no answer

“Hey, what’re you doing here?” The orange-haired teen asked, crouching down beside his lover to see what was wrong.

“Cleaning.” You had said. That’s when his dull blue eyes traveled to what you were doing, watching with a confused stare as you scrubbed at what seemed to be clean hands.

“Hmm, I see...” He couldn’t tell if this was a prank or not, you usually played along with his teasing nature. “Are you ready for dinner?”

“Was that really today?” Your head lifted, leaving your hands to momentarily hanging in the air, water droplets dripping off into the pool.

Okay... so you did forget it seemed, which did shock him seeing as though you were over the moon, less than seventy-two hours ago.

“Uh, yeah, did you really forget? That’s unlike you! I’ve learned women don’t forget anything.” He teased, hand going to his chin. You hummed, turning back to do whatever it was you had been previously.

The harbinger frowned. “Do you still want to go? We can make it if we’re fast.” You sounded like a robot, much like a ruin guard, he concluded.

“I’m sorry, not today, I’m dirty...”

Childe couldn’t help but chuckle, “Dirty? Sweetheart, you’re cleaner than most people I’ve seen, what’re you on about-”

“The blood, it’s stained my hands, can’t you see?” Even after holding your hands to show him, he saw nothing resembling blood.

“Are you playing games with me? Sure, it would’ve been funny any other day, not today though-”

“You don’t believe me?” You sounded hurt, but whatever was going on, he wouldn’t feed into these... false hallucinations. “The townspeople said the same thing, they called me crazy...” You scrubbed even harder at your hands, letting out a frustrated huff.

“I don’t see anything, I’m really sorry,” He said gently, reaching into the water to grasp your warm hands in his, “But if you continue to do that...I will see the blood.”

Childe was not sure what was going on, maybe some sort of PTSD? Although, he wasn’t sure where it could’ve come from... you’re not a harbinger or fatui, or anyone that is engaged in battle, etc. so it didn’t make sense. Unless something happened that decided to resurface now.

He immediately took you home, hand in his to keep you from further scratching your hands. On the journey, you often asked, “Why are you even touching me? There’s a lot of blood.”

He didn’t want to have to feed into whatever was going on, worried he’d damage you somehow, and he didn’t want to make you sound crazy, so instead he said, “Because I love you.”

When you both arrived home, he’d immediately laid you in bed, saying you appeared tired before going to search for a doctor.

Child will see every and all doctors in Teyvat and will pay whatever amount necessary to figure out what’s wrong, that’s for sure. Doesn’t take orders from the harbingers (not like he was anyways) and opts to stay close to you at all times.

He decided to keep his teasing to a minimum, though he found that sometimes things slipped out accidentally, he’d do anything in his power to help you.

1.18.21, rayofsunas

#rayofsunas #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact imagines #scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #albedo #albedo x reader #childe #childe x reader #tartagalia #xiao #xiao x reader

2K notes · View notes

angellissy · 3 years

Note

Hey :) I’ve never requested anything before so I’m sorry if i do it wrong hahah

But could I request something where instead of ward faking his death it’s rafe who has to do it and none of the pouges know about your relationship until it’s you crying in the dock instead of Sarah. And when you and the piggies go on the “rescue” mission to get Sarah off of the boat you see rafe and eventually end up staying with him and leaving your friends

I’m sorry if this is really long xx thank you for taking the time to read my request

R E A C H I N G F O R T H E S U R F A C E

SEASON TWO SPOILERS!

rafe Cameron x Reader

warnings: angst with a big a, canon rafe (maybe a bit softer), toxic relationship, rafe playing the victim card, death and talks of suicide.

a/n: I feel like it is of importance that I tell you all that I have done everything in my power not to romanticize the rafe cameron character and if I have then please kindly let me know because sometimes it can be hard. However I still need to say that I am writing through the eyes of the “reader” who very much still cares for this boy, which also means that the way the reader deals with things might not have been your way. If any more warnings should be included in the beginning, feel free to let me know. I hope you enjoy this fic which I am actually very proud of. A big thanks to @snkkat who is my proof reading buddy. Also thanks for sending in the request, I LOVED writing it! <3

They say that when you die your life flashes before your eyes, but how about when you watch someone else die? For as you watched him die, the life and moments the two of you had shared flashed before your eyes like a string of reminders of a life and love lost. It felt as if there was no air for you to breathe, you weren’t even sure how long it had been since you managed to take a full breath. Your mind was running in circles, trying to grasp what had just occurred, replaying the scene over and over again until you were not even sure what reality you were in. With a hammering heart and a split soul, you were kneeling on the dock, just minutes after watching your first love take his own life. You could not even remember how you had gotten out here in the first place, you just wished that you would have stayed behind as all your friends rushed toward a disaster in waiting. Perhaps that would have spared you some of the heartbreak, spared you from hearing him scream that he loved you one last time, spared you from seeing his boat go up in flames. But no, you were sure that for as long as you lived, you would see that blazing inferno whenever you closed your eyes.

There were arms around you, an attempt to soothe your shaking body, it only made you feel more trapped in a memory you would never escape. Those arms lifted you up and suddenly you were walking, mixed in all the anger and sadness there was a surprise that your body was even able to function. It felt as if you were outside of your body watching everything occur, you watched as Kiara and JJ helped you sit down on a sofa and as they draped a blanket over your shoulders. You watched it unfold, but you couldn’t feel it and there was no way that you would be able to respond to their worried questions. Instead, you were stuck in a mind that replayed everything Rafe had ever said or done to you as if that somehow could manifest him back to life. That stuck-up boy with the golden hair had been your first boyfriend, complicated as the relationship may have been, it had been the first time you ever experienced something close to love. Just days ago you had stood before him, tears in your eyes and heart in your throat as you called the relationship off. For a very long time, he had not been the boy you fell for, but rather a ghost of who he once was. Where he had once been sweet and tender with you, there had only been cold stares and words sharp enough to cut through ice. You were not oblivious to the fact that he struggled with issues you could never comprehend, but you refused to be an accomplice in his undoing. Time after time you had tried to be the person he could cling to when the world sat heavily upon his shoulders, but you soon realized that love and affection could not solve all problems. Oh, and you had loved him so much that you would have done anything for him to smile at you the way he had when he uttered those big three words for the first time. He had watched you with eyes that held so much adoration that you thought that they would never dim, that they would shine brighter for each time his eyes found yours. But eventually, they had dulled, and so you had realized that you would not sacrifice yourself no matter how much you cared for him. It did not matter that you had called things off with him or that you had decided to leave him in order to save yourself, for the knowledge that he was actually gone made it feel like someone was clawing at your heart and trying to rip it apart. It felt like no time in the world would be able to heal the pain in your chest or dry the tears falling from your eyes.

Time was indeed a funny thing, how seconds turned into minutes and how then those minutes became hours. Hours that you spent reminiscing over a life you thought you had given up before it was lost forever. You clung to the memories of him as if they were the lifebuoy keeping an anchor from pulling you down in a sea made up of your own sorrow. You knew that you were staying in your own made-up memories of a relationship with more bad times than good, but a part of you felt that you could not grieve the person he had become. For he had been vile and horrid, and if you acknowledged that, you would feel guilty for the sadness overwhelming you. So yes, you stayed in your made-up reality and wept for the boy that could have been. As hours turned into days, your friends made every effort to comfort you and try to get you out of the room that had become your place of mourning. Their tries aggravated you, for they did not understand the feelings rushing through your body at such speed it made you lightheaded. Each one of them had hated Rafe Cameron with at least one bone in their body and you knew how some of them had looked the day he died as if they were content that he was finally gone. Relieved that he could no longer plague them with taunts and threats that might have become reality was it not for his passing. You might have understood this, had it not been for the grief and guilt plaguing every bone in your body.

As days turned into weeks, you eventually came to appreciate their efforts to help you. It was like your vision was starting to clear and you could finally start trying to live your life again, and the first step to doing that was always to surround yourself with people that made you roar with laughter. Their ventures to try and find the Cross of Santo Domingo, were helpful, to say the least. Those adventures were as distracting as they were terrifying since the outcome was never given. Your mixed friend group of pogues and kooks had actually found that damn cross as well. Who would have thought that a bunch of high school kids would be able to find a historic relic? The answer would have been no one, and that is why you don’t underestimate kids with no limits. The cross had been in your grasp until a greedy and manipulative Ward Cameron came along and grabbed it. Ever since that particular happening, things started going south fast and it all ended up with Sarah being kidnapped by her own guardians. It also ended up with the rest of you stowed away like cargo on the ship she was on. While John B and Pope carried out their plan to find Sarah and the famous cross, you, JJ, and Kie sweated from every pore as you waited to hear from them. You had zoned out, staring mindlessly into one of the walls of the container, in the background you could hear your two friends talk about their dreams for the future. Something about going on several surfing trips at various destinations with each other, and that part made your heart ache. Sure, after everything he had done, a future with Rafe had not been one of your dreams. Still, as you listened to your friends talk, you could only remember a time where he had been everything you wanted in life. You pressed your palms upon your face as if you somehow could force every memory of him to remain in that little part of your brain where you were hoping they would become forgotten. A loud clank dragged you out of your thoughts and you looked up just in time to see Pope and John B climb in through that small window opening, followed by a woman you had never ever seen. Shortly after that, problems started to arise and soon all of you were scrambling out of the container in hopes of not being detected by the workers on the boat. They were in obvious search of all of you, which made you sweat even more than you had done inside the container. All of you received different plans on how to tackle the situation, yours was to act as a lookout for John B as he searched for Sarah.

You followed him down to what you could only assume was the boiler room since steam was thick in the air and you took your place by the door as he ventured further down. His desperate cries for Sarah echoed through the room and you dearly wished for a response to be heard, but there was nothing except the sound of his shoes against the floor. Thump, thump, thump and then utter silence until John B utters a name that made it feel as if the floor was pulled away from under your feet.

“Rafe.”

One of your hands finds the doorframe, a poor attempt to steady yourself as you try to figure out if this is a trick played by your grieving mind. You take a few breaths and as the silence is once again interrupted by two raised voices, you follow John B’s path down into the room. The heart in your chest is beating so hard that it feels like you are going to throw up, and it only gets worse the nearer you come. At first, you only see your friend, but then you look past him

and

your

heart

stops.

Rafe Cameron had died in front of your very eyes, so either the gods were playing a nasty cruel joke or you had lost the battle with your mind. You shut your eyes just to open them again, and no matter how many times you did it, he still remained. What happened next was a bit peculiar to you, for weeks you had drowned in grief where sadness was the constant emotion, but as you looked him in the eye and saw that he was very much alive, rage and anger crushed into you with the force of a thousand waves. You stepped toward him, only for an arm to shoot out to stop you, and John B added to his gesture by saying “Don’t”. Laughter bubbled in your throat, for who was he to tell you what you could or could not say to your “dead” ex-boyfriend who seemed to never stop causing you grief.

“Find Sarah.” John B hesitated for a few moments before following your unspoken order to leave you and Rafe alone. It wasn’t surprising considering that his worry for Sarah would always overpower anything else. Once again you looked into Rafe’s blue eyes, remembering a time when you used to stare in them for so long you would see specks of green and grey. Had you searched for those colors now, you would probably have found them. However, you were trying to decipher whatever feeling that was shining in them, was it anger? No, his other features were too soft for that and the hand holding his weapon had gone slack as he watched you. Maybe it was relief? No that was not it either, for why would he be relieved to see you? You were not the one who had died and left the other behind. You stepped even closer to him, the simmering anger inside of your veins made your hands shake and he looked at them briefly as if he wanted to take them in his. Your hands clenched into fists and you watched as his shoulders dropped the tiniest bit, and suddenly you knew exactly what was shining in his eyes.

Love, and sadness. Your heart started to speed up again, and you knew that once you opened your mouth, the anger and grief that had become part of you, would tumble out in words that you would never be able to take back. But he had done something much worse, so he would listen, you would make sure of it. Your lips parted slightly and he must have seen it for his words came first.

“I- fuck I am sorry okay? But I had to do it, you wouldn’t understand but I had to do it, it was the best for everyone.” As he says this you can’t help the sound that slips through your lips, it was supposed to be a laugh but it sounds more like a sob. His eyes flicker between you and everything else in the room as if there was anything in here that could save him for this conversation. You move your hands toward your chest and his eyes watch as you press them hard against your chest, against the heart that won’t stop breaking.

“Best for everyone?” Your voice is the combination of a whisper and a ragged breath “Did you have my best interest in mind when you let me believe you had blown yourself up?” He winces and makes an attempt to say something but you hold up a hand to stop him. “Did it ever occur to you how your little stunt would affect the one person who still, despite everything, loved you?” This time, your voice has started to rise towards something like a scream, and how could you not scream when there is so much sadness inside of you that it felt like just looking at him would turn your body into a pool of water.

“You broke up with me, so don’t start acting like a victim where you aren’t one.” His features are starting to morph into those he carries when anger overcomes him, but you will not back away from this. Your hands are in your hair, pulling at it as if that would help you make sense of this situation. “You broke my heart long before I broke yours.” You can’t help the way your voice breaks or the tears that start falling from your eyes.“You needed and still need help and until you receive that help, you are prone to hurt anyone in your vicinity.” Now it is his turn to drag his hands through his hair and his breaths come faster and faster until you realize that he is starting to hyperventilate. He sinks to the floor and you follow, not sure how to help when it feels like his state is mirroring your own. With cautious movements, you place your hands on his shoulders, and the shaking of his body sends trembles throughout yours. For a while nothing happens, you just sit there with your hands on his body and watch him fall apart. Perhaps you should have been glad that he was suffering, after everything he had done to you he deserved it. But you couldn’t feel anything other than anguish and as a sob escaped his body every restraint you had kept on yourself broke and you hugged him towards your chest. You could never save him, but he clung to you as if you had the power to undo every wrong he had ever done. After a while, he looks up at your tear-streaked face and one of his hands reaches up to cup it. You want to look away because you can see everything in those eyes of his, every regret and every wish he has ever had. His forehead leans towards you and you feel his hot breath against your skin. As you breathe in the scent of cologne and feel his skin against yours, you feel overwhelmed by the fact that he is actually here. You notice that his lips part and for a second you are scared that he is going to kiss you, but he must know that there is a limit to your patience with him so he just whispers words with the promise of what could have been. “I wanted to be good for you.” A small smile takes place on your lips and you close your eyes as you try to restrain the well of emotions inside of you. “I know Rafe, I know.” He breathes out a little, almost as if he is relieved that you are aware that he tried in a world and with a mind constantly working against him. You knew, but you also knew that there was someone else out there for you. Someone who would love you in a way that Rafe would never be able to, in a way that would not send the two of you to the bottom of the ocean. Whoever was out there would make you swim. For so long you had wanted to believe that Rafe was the one, despite all his flaws you would have given anything for him to be your future. It was a relief to know that you could and deserved to have more. But you also knew that you needed to do something before that could happen.

“I will stay-.” Before you could even finish your sentence he whipped his head up to look at you with such hope you never wanted to continue talking. You swallowed hard and forced yourself to go on. “I will stay with you just to make sure you receive the help you need.” His whole body deflated and you had to bite your lip in order not to cry again. Eventually, he nodded and you closed your eyes in relief. You knew that this had to be the right move, no one else would listen to him or make sure he got help, so you needed to be the one to did. Just enough so that you finally could start swimming towards the surface.

#rafe cameron imagines #rafe cameron headcanon #rafe cameron x reader #outerbanks rafe #rafe cameron #rafe obx #rafe x reader #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron x oc #rafe cameron x you #drew starkey #outer banks x reader #outer banks #outer banks season 2 #outer banks imagine #obx #obx season 2 #obx spoilers #obx fanfiction

274 notes · View notes

thefanficmonster · 3 years

Text

Caught Red-handed

Corpse Husband x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Swearing, Struggling with migraines

Genre: Fluff, Comfort, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Having suffered from migraines all their life, Y/N knows better than to give them much attention or let them hinder their work too much. However, their boyfriend is a lot more worried than they are and has taken it as his personal duty to ease their pain as much as he possibly can.

Requested by Anon. Hi dear! Thank you so much for your request, I’m so sorry it has taken me so long to get to it, write and post it, but here it finally is and I hope you come across it and read it! I’ve never experienced migraines nor have I known someone who has so if I’ve misrepresented or written any misinformation, anyone who catches it, feel free to let me know either in the comments or in my inbox/messages! Love, Vy ❤

The first time I got a headache was in the middle of math class in eighth grade. I remember it so distinctly because I had never before experienced such sudden and such intense pain. I got to go home early that day and spent a good portion of the day trying to sleep it off but to no avail.

Since then I’ve grown used to having to deal with a pain so strong it renders me unable to function for a whole day about two times a month. Sometimes, I even try to be stubborn with it - I try to push through as much work as I can despite the migraine, but that never works out for a long time considering it ends up crippling me in the end. That’s never kept me from trying over and over again though!

Now, to contrast my nonchalance and even annoyance with these pesky attacks, is my boyfriend Corpse’s concern over them. I’ve tried explaining to him that I’ve grown used to them and that I try not to let them bother me and that he shouldn’t stress over them so much but I may as well be talking to a wall because all he has to do is see me squint my eyes or cringe and he enters concerned-mother mode. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate it to no end, I just don’t want him worrying over something so small. Also, a minor convenience: if the migraine doesn’t hinder me from tending to my tasks, Corpse will. He’ll make sure I’m off the task I’m working and transported into bed in an instant.

That’s why I’m now clenching my jaw, struggling to maintain a poker face as I work on an important project I have to send to my boss by the start of next week. I’ve got plenty of time, but I like to stay on top of my work so it doesn’t pile on top of me, you know what I’m saying. Corpse is sitting on the couch next to me, casually glancing at me every now and then while remaining quiet as to not disturb me. So far so good, he hasn’t noticed anything and, if I didn’t know any better I would sigh in relief. There’s nothing to trigger the pain to arise any further - the lights are dim, I’m staying hydrated, and I downed two painkillers in the bathroom about an hour and a half ago - so I’m sure I’ll be in the clear at least until dinner.

“Wanna watch a movie when you’re done?“ Corpse asks, “Unless you’re tired or anything...“

I flash him a grateful smile, giving his knee a squeeze of reassurance, “I’d love to, babe. But I can’t promise that I won’t fall asleep.”

He chuckles, “Yeah, I know you’ve got a tendency of doing that.” Giving me a side-glance he adds, “It’s cute.”

I roll my eyes, already sensing a blush creeping up on my cheeks and neck which I hide by turning to face my laptop screen. One thing I can’t hide though is the wide grin that’s spread across my face as I mutter: “Shut up.”

Just then, a particularly sharp jolt of pain courses through my head, testing that ability to maintain a resting face. Thankfully, Corpse is turned in the opposite direction, searching for his phone, so I allow myself a brief cringe at the discomfort.

Guess the painkillers are dying down on me, I think to myself, a second away from sighing exasperatedly at the thought that I have to down two more. It was wishful of me to think I could enjoy the luxury of a dull ache until dinner, now the migraine is straight up mocking me.

I quietly stand up from the couch and make my way to the bathroom so I can take another dose of aspirin because I don’t think I’ll be able to focus on my work for very long if it keeps hitting me with this intensity. Opening the door to the small cabinet above the sink, I automatically reach out for the bottle of pills but stop when I see a surprise.

Directly in front of the bottle stands a note written in, you guessed it, Corpse’s handwriting.

‘Already losing effect, huh? When are you thinking of coming clean?‘

Well shoot, am I that transparent?

I sheepishly exit the bathroom, walking back into the living room where Corpse greets me with the same stance as a parent greeting their kid who’s gotten home past curfew: legs crossed, arms folded over his chest, one eyebrow raised, the whole nine yards.

“Yeah, they’re already losing effect.“ I admit, a small apologetic smile tugging at the corners of my mouth, my cheeks burning with an embarrassed blush. “And I wasn’t gonna tell you at all.” I hurry to add: “Please don’t be mad though.“

Corpse shifts slightly, his gaze giving me a onceover as he contemplates how to pursue the case. I’ve already got several arguments/defenses ready - the perks of working for a lawyer - but I know he’ll dismiss all of them no matter how strong they might come off as in court. Bottom line: even statements that would fly in court can’t fly with Corpse sometimes. Especially when my health and well-being are the topic of observation.

“What have we said about lying?“ He finally asks, causing me to cringe and ball my fists in guilt.

However, I still have my arguments ready: “You never asked me so I never technically lied.” One might say I have quite the audacity to plead not guilty right now, even though I’ve been caught red-handed, but what can I say, I’m stubborn in nature. And Corpse knows this, he’s just testing me for his own amusement.

“Poor excuse, Y/N.“ He says with disapproval, shaking his head and fully embracing his disappointed parent persona. “You’re lucky I’m feeling generous today. So, as punishment for hiding the truth from me, you are to ditch that project you’ve been bugging yourself over and come cuddle and watch a movie with me. Bonus points for you if you fall asleep.“

I needn’t be told twice - not only will it wipe that look off his features but it’ll also get earn me a movie night with the additional benefit of cuddling with my boyfriend? - how could I refuse?

I can’t help it, I just gotta push my luck here and poke the bear with a stick, “If the punishments are so sweet I might start being dishonest more often.“

Corpse rolls his eyes, scooting on the couch and tapping the space he’s freed up for me, “I said I was feeling generous, don’t bet on it happening often though.”

Alright, enough luck-pushing, I should be grateful for this generosity instead. I should be using it to the max.

So, what’s stopping you from doing just that?

Good question, brain, good question.

Head still pounding just not as intensely, I slip under the thin soft comforter to find myself not only wrapped in it but also in Corpse’s arm, his warm embrace bringing me instant comfort, walking me on the tight-rope of falling asleep right away.

“Sneaky bastard.“ I attempt to mutter, yawning halfway through.

I feel his lips on the top of my head, placing a quick and gentle kiss in my hair before he says, “You’re welcome, babe.”

Count your lucky stars, Y/N. You’ve got one of the good ones.

@maat-the-prescriptive @simonsbluee @save-the-sky @itsminniekat @hacker-ghost @bi-andready-tocry @imtiredaffff @jazzkaurtheglorious @hereforbeebo @fandomgirl17 @chrysanthykios @maehemscorpyus @loraleiix @letsloveimagines @annshit @i-cant-choose-a-username-help @enigmaticmaze @divine-artemis @waterlilypat @idontknowwhatthisisfam @evi-ka @classyandfabulous00 @redperson58 @lilysdaydreams @solowheein @mythicalamphitrite @axen-gers @luckygirl144 @nj01 @buddyemily @the-albino-lioness @stardream14 @gdhdkfnn @nomadicgypsyy @preciousskye @fluffysuicideunicornsworld @o-kaelin @manacharlotte @awkward-youtube-trash @lolalee24 @bonky-beerns @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian @strawbrinkofdeath @teenloves @tams0527 @browneyespinkhair @starstruckllamapuppy @daisychains012 @y0ulooked @tinytacosuitcaseflap @supernatural-is-my-only-life @jula-pauline @melodykitty @just-that-bi-girl @crazybutconfidentaf @lowellshade @alphakees @bellero @weallneednamjesus @starryhanji @boiled-onionrings @husherstan @fockingwhore @melaningoddessthings @prettypastelpetals @haleypearce @godwhyamiawkward @y-napotat @daisychainyoonmin @little-miss-rebel3 @free-wheelin-bi-sexual @redmoon261 @darkacademic2 @wiseflamingoqueen @into-the-end @namikhai-i @nastiablr @thelittleplantlover @mirktuan @dont-hyuck @jjk-bunny @vintagegothlover @easygoingtheatre @itsrandombooklover @miiaivi @emmybaybee @befourgolden @jjk-is-my-shit @eternalteaaars @spacebadgerx @princesslunalight @acequinn14 @samm48 @misselsbells06 @simp-lykawa @fo-love @marishimomura-blog @therealglenncoco @cinnamonbun332 @killtherandomness @sanshinexxxsan @fee-btheweeb @press-lay @cathleenpotgieter16 @jazzydoesstuff @moonlxghtbay @forestrain2000 @hyunjinhugs @blood-of-fandoms @lovellylies @ukiyolixx @simpforhpcharacters @chrisdylan17 @parkerjisung @pedernille @theodonyous @wineandionysus @malfoystilinskii05 @morbid-x @coryisagee @jessewa26 @scoobydooluver97 @mindintheskies365 @raeanneinwonderland @indecisive-empanada @gluttonypalace @loriane2503 @btsiguess-kpop @khaoticbunny @lucidlycactus @smiithys @rottenroyalebooks @kpopgirlbtssvt @fangirl-tc27 @fr0z3n-1 @notmesimpingfortechno @shotarosleftpinky @kunoi-chan @idk-whats-wrong-with-me @yikeroonie @goldenstarofthunderclan @poetry-and-tea @ama-do-writing-stuff @wishbonewolf @emeraldxhope @t0xick1tty @kusuinko @speakyourselfloveyourself @sophia902103 @lo-manburg @classsykittykat @dmgama @depressedpuppythatneedscoffee @btsiguess-kpop @akaashi-baby @gun-jong-simp @geschichtenfee @yerapotato-wp @browneyedgirl365 @thysagclub @sparklycloudnight @helloatomicshadow @queentorresstuff @vtte @val-gal @lucy-bunny17 @aaliyahh0 @katluckybear @boyleanti @straybids @franchesca-791 @cosmicstorm19 @averyisbackinthetrashcan @aomi-nabi @xlanawriter @allensimpsforcorpse

326 notes · View notes

the-witty-pen-name · 3 years

Text

Deadbeat Pt. 3

Lee Bodecker x F!Reader

18+ ONLY

Warnings: age gap (reader is 21), smut, cursing, abandonment, infatuation, cheating/divorce, angst, mild housewife kink, mentions of prostitution, mentions of alcohol, corrupt official

Word Count: 4.7k

Summary: You work at the bar at the edge of town, the Sheriff is going through a divorce and needs to rent a room.

A/N: I’m terrible at writing summaries and I’m so sorry about that! I don’t think I would consider this a dark!fic, but it does cover a lot of themes, and topics that are darker than I usually write about- but I think that comes with the territory of writing about Lee Bodecker. I’ll make sure to update the warnings for each chapter and do not read if you are underage. I also ignored canon for this one.

This is unedited, and I missed anything I should include as a warning let me know! This chapter introduces some new plots and conflicts, so it jumps around a little more than the previous ones.

I hope you all enjoy!

I also am having some writer’s block with my Obi-Wan Kenobi miniseries I was working on, so expect Part 3 sometime Sunday hopefully! So sorry for the delay on the final chapter.

Tags and Requests are OPEN

Part One // Part Two

Henry Curtis was one of the most infuriating people Lee had ever met. Curtis was a writer for the Columbus newspaper and constantly pestering the Sheriff. Curtis seemed to have a sixth sense for whenever the Sheriff did anything. He was desperately trying to catch the Sheriff doing anything but so far had remained unsuccessful. Curtis was the biggest obstacle Lee faced in winning re-election. The man would show up out of nowhere, pen and pad in hand ready to find anything that would be enough to keep the Sheriff out of office.

Maybe Curtis was just doing his job, but Lee always felt like it was much more personal. It was probably just his own resentment of the man who was just doing his job. But the man didn’t have to be so goddamn invasive. When the Sheriff had devised his plan on offering to rent a room from you, he was so tied up in his own mess of divorce and his somewhat confusing feelings towards you he had completely forgotten about the press. They would have a field day with the divorce alone, but now on top of everything else, Lee knew he should be more careful.

Lee always had to be careful, especially if he was meeting Leroy Brown. Lee would make sure he drove way out of town, and always insisted they met at a different location every time. This would infuriate Brown but Lee was the only lawman he had working for him. Sometimes Lee would drive several hours out of the way, always at some deserted ghost town or some sad excuse for a diner or a bar. Always somewhere no one would recognize him.

Lee lied to you and told you he and a few of the deputies would need to drive out of town for a stakeout when he needed to meet with Brown. It was one of those nights, sitting in the cruiser with the headlights off, as he parked in an abandoned parking lot almost two hours out of town.

He had been able to put this off for a couple weeks, lying about other legitimate jobs getting in the way. Honestly, it was because he wanted to one, avoid anything that would cause suspicion from Henry Curtis hearing he was back in town and two, he was selfishly allowing himself to just spend his nights at his new home, spending all the time he could manage with you. It was like being in that little white house was a place where he could let himself be delusional, and time spent with you was what his life actually was, not this mess he was currently dealing with. He wanted out.

Lee knew he wasn’t a good man. He knew that his laundry list of offenses had tarnished his badge a long time ago. He knew what he was doing, and before he never cared. Now, he’s thinking about how his actions could affect you. You were innocent, unaware of everything he was stuck in. He knew you weren’t stupid, and he was sure the town knows some about his corruption. But now, he couldn’t rationalize away his actions for any reason when it came to you. Janie? She didn’t care and would encourage it. She’d be in on it too. She’d have no problem lying to ladies at Church or starting other rumors to keep the town talking about anyone but Lee. She was as power hungry as he was sometimes, which could be a testament as to how their loveless marriage held together for so long.

***

“Hi, I’m looking for a Ms. (Y/L/N)?” the man asked when he approached you, talking a seat at one of the barstools.

“Who’s asking for her?” you asked raising an eyebrow.

“I’m Henry Curtis, I work for the Columbus Dispatch.”

“The newspaper?”

“That’s the one.”

“Why are you looking for her?”

“I’m doing a story on her mother’s marriage to Harvey Tucker.”

“She’s not here tonight. But I can let her know you were here. Do you got a card?”

The man pulled out a business card from his wallet and slide it across the bar. You picked it up and read all the information before putting it in the pocket of your apron.

“Seems weird for the Columbus paper to want to do a story on that a month and a half after it happened,” you said skeptically.

“We did cover the story when it happened,” Curtis informed you. “Doing a follow up since the story broke about his wife missing.”

“Missing?” you ask. “Do they know what happened?”

“Robbed the bastard blind and then ran apparently,” Curtis said casually looking past you at the chalkboard on the wall. “Scotch, neat.”

“Yes, sir,” you reply, grabbing the bottle from the shelf. “Has anything else been found out yet?”

“Not yet, that’s why I’m here. Checking in to see if she’d come back here because I heard Ms. (Y/L/N) still lives around these parts.” He then pulled a newspaper out of the inside pocket of his coat and started flipping through the pages.

“She has another kid too, right?” you asked, playing dumb. “A boy, I think. Do you know where he is?”

“Couldn’t say,” he sounded very indifferent, “Most likely went with her but who knows? I went to the Sheriff’s office to see if they knew anything but the Sheriff wasn’t there.”

“That’s too bad,” you say. “I’m sure Sheriff Bodecker would help you help if he can.”

Your statement made Mr. Curtis chuckle, but you didn’t follow up on it. You were just focusing on getting as much information about your mother and brother as you could.

“Speaking of Mr. Bodecker,” he began, “I recently saw his wife is getting remarried. Saw the announcement of the engagement in the paper.”

“Yeah, that’s right,” you respond, skeptically. You didn’t know why but you didn’t trust this man. It was something in the tone of his voice, or maybe it was just how he held himself. Very polished, a suit and a nice dress jacket. He looked very out of place in this town, and this little bar.

“You familiar with the Sheriff at all, miss?”

“Not too well,” you shrug, “Haven’t had any run-ins with the law myself.”

“Not even a speeding ticket?” He asks, only a little condescendingly.

“Can’t get a speeding ticket if you don’t have a car,” you point out.

“Touché,” he chuckles before taking a sip of his drink.

He doesn’t ask you anymore questions, and when he leaves, he gives you a five-dollar tip.

***

Lee receives his cut from Brown. There was nothing new to report on that front and his meeting went by smoothly. All Lee had to do was to turn a blind eye, and make sure the rest of the department stays unaware of the brothel’s existence. Brown always insisted on meeting with him, wanting to know what the Sheriff’s department was investigating and making sure his businesses stayed under the radar. He felt sick, and is preoccupied with the fact he has an envelope of dirty money in the cruiser’s glovebox.

It’s around midnight when he pulls up to the house. He expects that you’re already asleep, but he notices the lamp is on in the living room. He takes the money out of his glovebox and tucks it away into the inner pocket of his jacket. Coming inside, he finds you on the couch, knees pulled to your chest, staring at the business card Mr. Curtis had given you. You face is stained with dried up tears, and you still haven’t even changed out of your work clothes.

“What’s that?” he asks, the sight of you breaking his heart. He winces because he comes off a lot harsher than he meant.

“Some reporter came while I was at work wanting to talk to me,” you explain softly, you sound exhausted. “Wanted to talk to me cause he’s doing a story on my mother. Apparently, she’s on the run from the Columbus police.”

You extend your hand to give Lee the card. He feels his jaw clench when he reads the information. “What happened?” he asks, taking a deep breath and sitting down next to you.

“I pretended I wasn’t me,” you say, another tear rolling down your cheek. “He came in asking for me so I said I’d pass his card on. I didn’t want to tell him who I was because he didn’t explain why he was looking for me at first. I don’t know- just scared me. I’m more upset about the news itself than him.”

“You did the right thing,” Lee said softly, placing a hand on your shoulder comfortingly. He was angry, but he didn’t show it. It worried him, fucking Curtis snooping around this close to you. It made him feel protective, wanting to shield you from the whole ordeal. He had been on the receiving end of unsolicited attention from the press and he knew how ruthless they were. He knew this wouldn’t be the only time Curtis would try to get in touch with you. He’d find out where you lived, he’d continue to show up while you were working- the whole nine yards. He didn’t want you going through that.

Curtis talking to you also made him incredibly paranoid. It was his two worlds that he desperately wanted to keep apart were colliding. He knew it was impossible, but he so wanted to keep you separated from the other part of his life. It wasn’t who he wanted you to see. Hell, he hasn’t even been here for a month. It wasn’t that he wanted to keep you in the dark, at least that wasn’t entirely intentional. Actually, he wasn’t sure, maybe it was intentional. However, it wasn’t just you he wanted to hide aspects of his life from. He wanted his involvement with Brown and others hidden from every goddamn registered voter. You were no different, he tried to rationalize. But that wasn’t true. These feelings he harbored for you, were getting worse. He needed to unwrap himself from this situation, and for the sake of you finding out he was a shill, keep you away from that asshole. He didn’t want to let himself think about how the way you look at him would change.

And here he was, making the situation all about him. It was in his nature.

“He’s just going to show up again if I don’t call him,” you say, wiping your eyes. “Maybe I should just call him in the morning. Just be honest and say I don’t know anything. He can keep coming around but nothing is going to change.”

“I can take care of it,” he says. He couldn’t risk you talking to Curtis again. For all he knows, Curtis would tell you all about the story on the Sheriff he’d been trying to confirm for years. Lee knew he couldn’t let that happen. He fully intends on telling you, but how the hell do you bring that up? ‘Hey doll, I’m also on the payroll of every pimp and bootlegger in a ten-mile radius, just letting you know.’ It wasn’t going to come up, unless Curtis tells you about it. He’d be hoping to pull himself out if it, show you how you made him want to be better.

For now, he settles for comforting you, and just being there to take care of you. Make you feel better. He wraps an arm around your shoulder and lets you cry into his chest. He sighs, kissing the top of your head in a friendly way and you curl up against him. Under different circumstances, you probably wouldn’t have let yourself do this- show your vulnerability or allow anyone to comfort you like this. But it was all the events of the past month, your mother leaving, everything, just all hitting you at once, and you were happy you weren’t alone.

In the morning, you wake up on the couch with a blanket over you. You see Lee asleep in the chair, and you realize he stayed with you all night. It makes your heart flutter. You pull the blanket up over your chin and close your eyes again. You felt surprisingly well rested. The stress and worry were pushed to the back of your mind long enough to let you get some sleep. It still lingered in the back of your mind, but you reminded yourself that for now, there was nothing you could do. You had the day off, and you let yourself have a little longer time to sleep in.

You woke up to the smell of coffee brewing and the sound of sizzling on the stove. When you opened your eyes, Lee was no longer in the chair. You sat up and looked toward the kitchen, where you saw Lee with his back to you while he worked with the pans on top of the stove. The portable radio was positioned on the counter, and it was playing at a low volume, so it wouldn’t wake you up.

“Hey,” you say softly, still waking up as you walk into the kitchen.

“Morning, doll,” he says, glancing back at you for a moment. “How’re you feeling?”

“A little better,” you admit, grabbing a mug for yourself out of the cabinet. You pour yourself a cup of coffee, savoring the smell before making it how you usually take it. “Thank you for sitting with me,” you say honestly, “you didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to,” he says with a small grin. “I just wanted to help.”

“I really appreciate it, Lee,” you reiterate your thanks, hopping up to take a seat on the counter, watching him cook breakfast. “Didn’t know you knew how to cook,” you joke, making him chuckle.

“I’m full of surprises, sweetheart,” he smirks, making you feel flushed. You take another drawn out sip of your coffee to try to distract yourself. You watch his arms, and his hands as they maneuver and flex when he cooks. You imagine how they must feel, your eyes focused on the veins. You bit your lip and it reminds you of the dream you had a little while back when he first moved in. You imagine him stepping in between your legs as your propped up on the counter, his hands gently gripping your thighs and-

“I’ll get it,” you announce hurriedly as you hear someone knock on the front door. You hop off the counter careful to not spill your coffee, and head to answer the door. Lee watches you bounce out of the room, fixing your hair as you go and you don’t catch his smile.

“Arvin,” you say surprised, stepping out onto the porch. “What are you doing here?” you ask, with a small grin. You’re confused but nonetheless happy to see him.

“You look like you’ve been crying,” he observes, concern written all over his face.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” you say dismissively, “Just last night I was thinking about my ma and everything. Just had trouble sleeping is all.”

“The Sheriff didn’t do anything?” Arvin asked in a hushed tone, looking over your shoulder to see if Lee could hear you two.

“No, nothing, he’s been perfectly fine,” you say coming to the Sheriff’s defense. “I know you and Ms. Russell are worried, I know how it must look- but Arvin I swear he’s just my tenant. He’s been nothing but a gentleman.”

“Just making sure,” he says, letting it go for now. “Lenora asked me to bring these by for you.” He hands you the glass baking dish that you can see is filled with homemade cinnamon rolls. “She’s been practicing making all kinds of baked goods for when the Church does that bake sale and has me running all over town giving it away cause me and Uncle Earskell can’t keep up with it all.”

“Tell her thank you for me,” you say with a smile, “And I’ll bring the dish with me to Church tomorrow- give it back to her.”

“She misses you I think,” Arvin says sheepishly, pushing his hands into his front pockets. “I mean- I do- I think my whole family does- we all do. I’m sorry my grandmother hasn’t asked you over in a while…”

“I understand,” you nod. “Reputation is an important thing.”

“I just didn’t want you to think it was because of us,” he says looking down at the porch, his eyes fixed on a loose board. “You know how she is- everything no matter the context is somehow a sin. Scared to death of her own shadow…”

“I know you’re not that resentful, Arvin Russell,” you chuckle and he relaxes. “And I don’t hold any hard feelings towards anyone in your family- you all have always been good to me.”

“Well, um,” he says awkwardly, looking like he was holding back from saying more. “I got to hit a couple more houses before I head to work, so I guess I’ll see you tomorrow at Church?”

“I’ll be there.”

“Oh- I wanted to let you know,” he says, turning around as he’s already heading down the front steps, “The principal down at the high school is looking for secretaries- Lenora heard and thought you might be interested. It pays like $35 a week, I think. You should call Linda Carson; I think Lenora said- that’s the woman who’s in charge of hiring people, I think.”

“I’ll call the school first thing Monday morning,” you say, grin stretching from ear to ear. Arvin nods and says goodbye again. You walk back into the house like you’re on top of the world. You couldn’t contain your excitement. That job if you could get it would be a dream. You’d be making so much more than you’re already making. You were so excited.

“You’re in a much better mood than when I last saw you,” Lee jokes. He’s sitting at the kitchen table reading the newspaper while he eats his breakfast. You notice that he made you a table setting- brought your coffee over and everything. You place the baking dish in the middle of the table and sit down.

“That was Arvin,” you say happily, and Lee feels his heart sink into his stomach.

“Oh yeah?” he asks, trying to not let on how his heart feels like it’s crushed. He knew it was only a matter of time before a boy would come around- whether it be Arvin or someone else your own age.

“Well, first he was just dropping off baked goods Lenora made,” you say gesturing to the dish on the table. “He’s going around to everybody, I guess. He mentioned the high school is looking for office secretaries- Lenora wanted me to know. Thirty-five dollars a week! I’m going to talk to Linda Carson about it Monday morning. Can you imagine? I could get a secretary job.”

Lee feels just a crash of relief wash over him. He’s so happy that you are looking at a new job. You deserve better than that bar. He knew you deserved the job just as much as any of the other candidates. You work harder than anyone he knows.

“That’s fantastic, sugar,” he replies. “You deserve it.”

“Do you think I have a chance?” you ask, feeling a little self-conscious- you knew you weren’t as experienced as other candidates would be for sure.

“Of course, I do,” he says, putting down the paper to give you his full attention. “I feel like you getting this job is a definite. There’s no doubt about it.”

“You’re just buttering me up,” you scoff, finishing up your food, making him chuckle. You may have also seen his cheeks redden, but you couldn’t say for sure. You finish off your coffee, and then bring you dishes back to the kitchen, leaving them in the sink. Lee turns his attention back to his newspaper and you head upstairs to get ready for your day.

When you head upstairs, Lee notices that you took the radio with you- and he could hear you were listening to music from upstairs. He decides before it’s too late to ring Mark Cunningham. The line rings a couple of times before Mark answers.

“Cunningham.”

“Morning, Mark. It’s Sheriff Bodecker,” he smirks.

“What can I do for you Sheriff?” he asks, the sound of shuffling paper comes through as well. Most likely flipping through the paper.

“I wanna call in that favor you owe me,” he says, casually pacing the living room, holding the receiver up to his ear and the base of the rotary phone in the other.

“Of course, Sheriff,” he says. A while back, Bodecker busted the principal making moonshine in his old barn that was at the end of his property. Lee looked the other way and was waiting for the right thing to call in a favor for.

“I want you to hire (Y/N) (Y/L/N) for the secretary job,” he says, looking to the stairs, making sure you aren’t coming. The music is still playing loudly from upstairs so he determines he’s still got time.

“That’s all?” Mark asked surprised.

“That’s all I want from you,” Lee replies. “I expect you can make that happen?”

“Without a doubt. When can she start?”

“Still have her come in for an interview. I don’t anyone else knowing I called you about this- including her.”

“Done.”

With that, Lee hangs up the phone, feeling really good about this decision. He knew how much that job meant to you- he could see it in your eyes and how excitedly you talked about it. He can’t wait to see you when you find out you get the position. He knows it’s going to make you so happy. He knows you’d be a fantastic candidate, but this just eliminates any doubt. He reasons that there isn’t much difference, since you were very likely to get it anyways. He just had to make sure.

He can picture you know, coming home from the interview- excited to tell him that you got the job. You’d be so excited you’d jump up and hug him tightly, just so overjoyed that you let your feelings take over. You’d wrap your legs and around his waist and he’d hold you up by holding the back of your thighs. You’d wrap your arms tightly around him and bury your head in the crook of his neck. You’d lift your head up to look at him, embarrassed at your actions and then he’d press his lips to yours. You’d gasp softly, but your lips would melt against his own and your arms would wrap tightly around his neck. He’d walk forward, pressing you up against the wall and he’d kiss your neck mumbling praises of congratulations against your skin as his name falls from your lips at how good he’d make you feel. It’s almost unbearable how bad he wants you.

He heads to him room to get ready for his day, but his mind is still clouded with thoughts of you. He thinks about how much he wants nothing more that to just pin you on his mattress. He wonders if you know how crazy you make him. Sometimes there’s something in your eye that makes him think you want him too, but he’s not sure. His better judgement holds him back from everything he wants to do. He thinks about how it must feel to have his head right in-between your thighs. Back in the kitchen together, he wanted to just get on his knees and worship you. The feeling of them pressing against him as he sucks on your clit and runs his tongue across your folds.

Serval hours later, he can’t shake the thoughts, even sitting in his office at the sheriff’s station- working on a Saturday yet again. He’s cooped up in his office, unable to get through any of the paperwork that has piled up on his desk. He’s thinking about you, again, but in this daydream, you’re bent over his desk- because you came by to see him on your break from work at the school. His office door locked and his blinds pulled so he can bend you over and take you right there- rough and fast, sending you back to work with a feeling of him still there between your legs well after you’re back at your own desk, still sore from the encounter.

“You got a visitor, Lee,” the intercom on his desk lights up.

“Send ‘em in,” he responds back, shaking his head to snap out of it. He needed to get a grip.

“Sorry I didn’t call,” you say, walking into his office. His eyes widen and he wonders if he’s still day dreaming. He discreetly pinches himself. You’re actually here, standing in his office, while he looks at you dumbfounded. Part of him would think he manifested it if he was a man of any faith. “You forgot this,” you say, putting his wallet on the desk. “You must have taken it out of your back pocket before falling asleep in the chair last night. It was laying on the coffee table. I figured I’d stop by with it while I was coming up this way anyways.”

“You’re a doll,” he grins, putting his wallet in his back pocket. “What are you doing?”

“I took the bus to the library to return some books, and now I’m going shopping for something to wear when I go in for an interview since I have the day off to go,” you explain. “I’m also probably going to get lunch after that before heading back home. I just didn’t want to be home in case that reporter stopped by. I’m not ready to talk to him yet.”

“I can take care of it,” he says, “He’ll make his way over here soon enough. I can talk to him.”

“You would do that for me?” you ask, the relief evident across your whole face.

“Yeah, I can talk to him, let him know you gave a statement here,” he says. You nod. “You know as much as he does, so it doesn’t matter if I tell him you don’t know shit or if you tell him.”

“You’re a lifesaver,” you sigh, so relieved thinking that you won’t have to hear from Henry Curtis again. “If he tells you anything about them… will you let me know?”

“Of course, sweetheart.”

“Thank you,” you say, hurriedly walking over behind him and quickly hugging his shoulders. You then are back by the door again before he can register the gesture. “Are you going to be home tonight?” you ask, your hand on the doorknob.

“Not until late,” he says reluctantly, and he can see the disappointment on your face- unless his mind was playing tricks on him.

“Okay,” you say finally, “Um, I’ll see you later then.”

“Bye, doll,” he says when you walk out of his office.

Are you going to be home tonight? Your voice lingers in his head. It was such a harmless phrase that could’ve just been one of curiosity. Maybe you were just asking because you were thinking about what you were doing for dinner. It most likely just meant nothing. But, the look on your face when he said no makes him think otherwise. Did it mean you cared? That you wanted to spend time with him? You wanted to see him and be with him as desperately as he needed you perhaps? Just the phrasing itself makes his brain feel like putty. It’s like you’re waiting up for him. It’s like you share the house in a way that’s much more than just him renting a room from you. It’s like you’re his and he’s yours. It’s like saying our house… our home. The question was so intimate and implied so much more about how you saw him and what he was to you. He knew seeing him as how he saw you was next to impossible, but you saw him as more than the Sheriff and more than just the jerk living in your house.

Part Four

Taglist:

@scar-is-bi @jiminlife2k18 @asylummaniac01 @rosalynshields @charmed-asylum @jamesbuchananbuckybarnes1917 @alexandrathegreat3

#lee bodecker #lee bodecker imagine #lee bodecker x reader #lee bodecker fic #lee bodecker x you #lee bodecker smut #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan characters #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan #smut #the devil all the time #angst #lee bodecker x y/n #arvin russel x you #arvin russel x reader

487 notes · View notes

peralta-guaranteed · 3 years

Note

After that Jake-Mac-Rosa fic, you dropped this queen: 👑 Next time, a Jake-Mac-Holt piece?

Oh dang, THAT's where I left it. Thank you for that. 🤪

Grandpa Holt is always a pleasure to write, but let's try for some Dad Holt too...

"Is everything alright, Peralta?"

Jake has been sitting off to the side of the group for a while now, so Holt finds it necessary to inquire. He's not used to the eager detective being so closed off and quiet unless something is wrong, and nothing he can think of right now strikes him as 'wrong': they have been celebrating the end of a rather arduous case for Diaz and Boyle, and Peralta had been as helpful as he could be as a tertiary, which was not his preferred position at all. The first round at Shaw's had been paid by himself as Captain, obviously, and the next by Diaz, so Boyle has promised to shoulder the third, were it to happen. Ergo Peralta could not be thinking about his usual money problems, which have lessened anyway ever since Santiago took over his budgeting.

That means something else entirely must be 'wrong' in order for Jake to keep out of the conversation, only reply when he is mentioned by name, and drift off to a corner of the bar while the other congregate around the various game options of the room.

"I'm good, Captain, thanks." Jake answers with a smile and an obvious lie, so Holt doesn't even bother replying, just raises one of his eyebrows a quarter of an inch, which he knows usually gets him results with Peralta. The ensuing sigh shows that it is still working.

"It's just..." Jake shrugs and rubs the back of his neck, another tell of his discomfort. "This is my first night out alone since the baby."

"Indeed." Holt replies. "I remember your phone call to Amy to inform her you would be back late today."

"Yeah." His hand is still on his neck, the other one clutched around his half empty beer bottle. "She told me to have fun. But..uh... I still kinda feel like I shouldn't be here."

"Do you think having a child robs you of autonomity? I know I am not speaking from experience, here, but it does seem to me like you are allowed to enjoy time away from your family, especially if your spouse insists you do."

"Getting drunk at a bar while my kid might be crying at home doesn't feel like the responsible thing to do, is all."

"Ah, I see." Holt nods, and he does see - he actually sees a lot more than what Jake might be trying to imply in his statement. He remembers how he used to self-medicate with alcohol in the past, after ending his relationship with that defense attorney, or even before, while feeling heartbroken over Santiago. He also remembers anecdotes about his father's drinking, not from Peralta himself, obviously, but from the rest of the squad, whenever Jake would cancel on a promised night out after Roger Peralta's visits. As much as Holt hates idioms, one of his most despised is probably 'the apple doesn't fall far from the tree', and Jake seems to fear it as well.

"Here is my solution, then, if you are willing to listen." Jake looks up at Holt as he's standing in front of him, and his hand drops from his neck. "You make the beer you are currently drinking your last for the night, and spend some quality time with your colleagues instead, enjoying a few parlour games, and then you head home at an agreeable time and still see your child before he falls asleep."

Jake grins and takes a sip of his beer.

"Sounds like a plan, Cap." He nods, and Holt doesn't ignore the fact that Jake has been using this shortened nickname for him a lot lately, and how eerily similar it sounds to 'Dad' in his voice.

(An hour later, he receives a picture on his cellphone from Peralta: The man himself, asleep on his couch, with his infant son equally asleep on his chest. Santiago must have commandeered his phone, and Holt is glad for it.)

-*-

"Grampa!"

The sound of that little voice echoes through the hallway as loudly as the ensuing footsteps, and Holt feels something warm and solid wrap around his legs.

"Hello, McClane." He smiles down at the little boy currently clutching his knees, and he smiles back before raising his arms in an obvious demand to be lifted up. Holt obeys it immediately.

He notices Mac looks surprisingly tired for an otherwise very energetic two year old, and Amy, who's now following him to Holt's side, looks equally exhausted.

"Good afternoon, Captain. I'm so sorry, I should've messaged you that I have to bring Mac in for an hour, the babysitter cancelled and the day care couldn't keep him longer than-"

"It is quite alright, Santiago. McClane knows how to behave himself at the precinct, right?" He gives the little boy in his arms a look, and receives a strong and eager nod in reply, the curls on his head bouncing back and forth. If anyone were ever to question Peralta's parentage, that alone would classify them as an imbecile. "I can watch him for the time being, if you have paperwork you need to get in order before leaving for the day."

"God, Captain Holt, would you- that would be so- I was going to ask Rosa, because I know she's at her desk-"

Amy seems far more frazzled than usual, and Holt realises that her regular schedule must be in quite a disarray, considering she has been a single parent for about a week now. Mac must not have been making it easy for her, either, nor must the baby currently growing in her stomach, which has started to show about a month ago, at which point they finally informed the squad about it (when everyone had already figured it out just like last time).

"RoRo!" Mac yells, happily, almost leaning out of Holt's arms, but he quickly hugs him tighter.

"Your aunt Rosa is working, McClane, and we should not interrupt her. We can spend the time in my office, and you can draw if you would like."

"Roro working." He echoes like a little parrot. "Like Daddy."

"That's right." Holt has learned from the parenting homepages he's visited that you are to encourage a child trying to talk and string together a coherent topic, no matter how long it might take.

"Daddy's working away." Mac continues, and out of the corner of his eye Holt sees Amy's forehead wrinkle in worry.

"Yes, your father is in New Jersey for the week to work on a special case." It's not a dangerous case at all, rather a boring standard task that happened to involve some out-of-state suspects, but Jake had still been trying to hand off that trip to anyone who might be willing to help him out. Seeing his son with bags under his eyes and his wife with stresslines around her mouth and her hand on her belly, Holt understands why.

"He comes back." Mac says next, and it is a statement, but the look in his eyes makes it a question, and Holt is quick to answer. He's glad that he has a definite answer to that, instead of the empty promises and assurances he sometimes has to make as the head of a police department.

"Yes, your father will be back soon. In two days, in fact."

Mac holds up two grubby little fingers, and Holt nods with so much fervor it surprises himself.

"Very good, that is two. Only two days and two nights until your father is back home." The worry in Mac's eyes seems to dimish a little at that as he stares at his own fingers. "If we go to my office, we can check on the calendar exactly how long that is." He barely waits for another nod before taking the diaper bag out of Santiago's hands, who whispers a quiet, but relieved "Thank you" to him. He understands again that it means far more than to thank him for taking care of the child for an hour so.

(If he uses that hour to assure Mac several times that no matter what, his father will always find a way back to him with far more emotion in his voice than he'd usually use, well, no one needs to know. Peralta certainly seems happy about the picture he sends him of Mac with his captain's hat behind his desk.)

-*-

"Congratulations." Holt's hand on his shoulder is heavy, but not uncomfortably so, and it gives a quick squeeze before dropping.

They've done the whole customary introduction to the newborn baby, the apparently necessary picture round, and now Kevin is having an amicable chat with Amy in her hospital bed. They've waited two days for their official visit, to give the new parents a chance to get at least a few of their bearings. (Holt was there merely an hour after the birth, of course, with the rest of the squad, but that was a moment of joyful chaos and many voices.) Now the room is filled with an almost serene quiet, Amy's and Kevin's voices low and comfortable in the background as Holt watches the man he truly considers a son hold up his new granddaughter.

"Do you want to hold her again? I know you already did for the photos but-"

Holt only nods and takes the infant out of his hands with perfect ease. He's more used to a wriggling toddler now, but he still clearly remembers the days when Mac was equally quiet and frail in his arms. The little one in them now is asleep amidst all that is happening, her tiny mouth open just a fraction, and he feels her arm bump against his chest while she seems to be having a dream.

"She is as perfect as her older brother, Jake."

"Yeah." Jake smiles, and there's nothing of that boisterous, loud, cocky detective grin left in it that he used to know. It is soft and kind and full of love, and it might be one of Holt's favourite expressions. "Amy did a superb job again."

"As did you."

"I'm sure I don't gotta explain this to you, Cap, but I didn't really do much." Jake jokes, and Holt can tell he's trying to divert the attention to a simpler topic, but sometimes things must be said.

"You do a lot, Jacob." He continues, then. "Far more than a lot of fathers do. Far more than many would expect of you. And you do it all perfectly right, with heart and determination."

Jake nods, swallowing down a lump in his throat, it seems, and it might be a step too far for his already emotional state, but Holt feels like it needs to accompany his accolades.

"I am very proud of you, son."

Jake is very obviously fighting back tears as he replies.

"Thanks, dad."

The little girl in Holt's arms stirs right at this moment, and Jake seems to want to interject immediately in fear that she'll start crying, but she simply stares up at Holt with impossibly big, brown eyes for the first time. And he realises, just as he did two years ago when Mac's little hand tightened around his finger for the first time, that there is a child in this world that he would literally do anything for. There are four of them now, even if two of them have not fallen under the category of a child for several decades.

"Hello, Maya." He says to the little face that seems to be inspecting him. "I'm Captain Raymond Holt. Your grandfather."

He looks up at Kevin and Amy, who've stopped their conversation while Amy is lifting her phone in their direction, and then at Jake, who's looking at Maya as well with shining eyes. Then he looks back down at Maya, stretching her arms out of her swaddle as if she's reaching for him.

"You are a very lucky little girl."

#b99 #brooklyn 99 #jake peralta #amy santiago #peraltiago #mac peralta #maya peralta #raymond holt #captain dad #my writing #ficlet

178 notes · View notes

wickedw3asleys · 3 years

Note

hey love! could you write a smut for George where it’s the readers first time and George is super sweet about it and is inlove with you and everything you do:)

MAKE YOU MINE (fluff/smut)

George Weasley x female reader

AN: Sorry for posting it so late! I had some troubles with tumblr and it almost didn't let me post this 🙄, BUT ANYWAYS, thank you for submitting something and I hope it's what you wanted and I truly hope you'll like it!!! ❤️ Love u too, and thank you so much for your support 🥰

Also, sorry if this is long, I like writing long stuff and giving details 👉🏻👈🏻

Warnings: insecure reader(a lil bit), fingering, oral sex (female receiving), unprotected sex, cussing...

When you first started dating George, not in a million years would you have thought to have your own expectations rising up. Not towards him though, but towards yourself.

George was that guy. Simply that guy. He was loved by everybody, one of the popular funny guys. And even though he was extremely sweet with you, you couldn't help but feel that something in you was missing.

Not that you weren't feeling enough for me, but at the same time, kind of...

One thing that made this feeling about you increase day by day was your virginity.

The concept of "virginity" was something that you particularly hated, hating the sense and meaning the modern society had given to it. But to shorten things up, yes, you were still a virgin. And even though you hated it as a concept, you couldn't stop but feel pressurized by yourself because of it.

And the fact that not even George knew about it made it only worse. For the few months you've been dating you've always tried to avoid it the best you could, but you could also feel George starting to worry about it, and why you would always push him away.

Plus, you were at that age where all your friends would start doing it, so you've had to see the parade of all your friends telling you one by one how excited they were that they finally lost their virginity. First was Ginny, then Harry, then Hermione, even Neville got to you to talk to you about it. So unconsciously, that weighted on you.

Today, you were hanging out again with George and his brother, both taking you to the Quidditch field to show you the new tactics they've been trying for their future match against Ravenclaw later that week. You could've been listening to George all day talking so passionately about Quidditch, but you had something else in your mind, and he could sense it. But he didn't say anything about it.

The thought of your bloody virginity was still in your mind and you didn't know how to make it disappear.

"... Y/N, are you okay?", Fred asked, seeing you totally off.

You sighed, "Yes! So, the bludgers..."

"You weren't paying attention, were you?", George asked gently, to what you sadly nodded.

"Sorry, guys... I've got things on my mind today..."

"Hey, don't worry. No need to apologize, it's okay", your boyfriend started to caress your arm, "We can head back in if you want"

"Yeah! I'm starting to get hungry anyways!", his brother answered.

You were grateful for them for being so understanding and not getting mad at you for being off, "Uhm... I'd rather stay here a little bit, I need more fresh air. Is it okay with you?", you asked George.

"Yes of course, sweetheart! Do you need anything?"

You said no and let them take off on their brooms, directing to the castle. You could see George's worried gaze, and you also knew that one day you'd have to talk to him anyways. He was your boyfriend after all. And seeming that he was so sweet with you always, you didn't quite understand why you were so scared to tell him.

After almost two hours of sitting there in the cold, you decided it was time for you to finally head back to the castle. Lunch would probably be over by now, fortunately you weren't hungry.

As you made your way to the corridors, straight to the common room, you crossed paths with the Weasleys; Ron, Ginny and the twins.

"Hello, darling! We missed you for lunch!", your boyfriend said, gently kissing your forehead.

"Yeah, I know, I'm sorry. I didn't see the time

pass...", you apologized.

"Are you okay? You're freezing, Y/N!", Ginny exclaimed, hugging you.

"Yes! Don't worry! I was just heading back to the common room..."

George could see your still worried look, so he thought for himself it wouldn't be the best idea to go there and have everybody all over you. He didn't know what was going on with you, but he didn't like to see you like this, and whatever was on your mind, he was determined to make you forget about it.

"You three can go!", he said to his siblings, "Y/N and I are going for a walk, I think. Do you feel like doing that?"

You looked at him, surprised, but you agreed to it. A walk with him sounded pretty good right now.

So as the other Weasleys said their goodbyes and went to the Gryffindor common room, you took George by the arm and let him lead the way.

"Where are we going?", you asked after a while of walking.

"I don't know... What about the Astronomy tower?"

"Yeah, sounds pretty good!"

You smiled at him and started to make your way up to the tower. Since it was around 5pm, the view was absolutely splendid up there. You could see how the sun was slowly starting to go down and making the sky changing into all these beautiful shades of yellow, blue and orange.

"So, are you going to tell me was has you so upset?", George asked, sitting down.

"Nothing... It's just silly, actually..."

"Nothing is silly if it bothers you", he pat the floor next to him, indicating you to sit next to him. "Come on, darling. You know you can tell me anything..."

You sighed as you took place next to him, snuggling into his chest due to the November cold.

"It's just...", you sighed, " I don't know... I don't want you to judge me or anything..."

"Hey, hey... I'd never judge you... Unless you kill someone, but I'm pretty sure that if you give me a valid argument I'd still understand your motives", he said, making you laugh. "Come on, tell me..."

"I'm so stupid...", you laughed, rubbing your forehead, " George, I haven't done anything... Like... Sexual... With anyone before..."

Your boyfriend looked at you, serious, "You mean, you're a virgin?"

"Mmhh... Yeah", you hummed.

"Sweetheart, is that why you're so upset?", he asked, you nodding as answer. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I don't know! It just feels... wrong... You're like so popular and nice, and I know you've been with girls and now you dating me doesn't makes any sense in that way!"

"Y/N, it doesn't matter to me!", he smiled. "I don't know who put you that silly idea in your mind but it's definitely not true at all. I love you, you know that. It doesn't matter to me if you have done it before or not..."

"Are you sure?", you asked, unsure.

"Of course I am! Besides, it would be such an honor for me to be the first one for you..."

He took your hands in his and kissed them warmly, making you laugh at the action.

"Thanks, Georgie..."

"No need to thank me, there's nothing to thank me for...", he caressed your cheek, "You just tell me whenever you feel ready... or not. That's up to you. I just want you to know that you can always feel safe with me, and comfortable."

"I do! I do feel comfortable! It's just... I don't know, I guess I can get pretty silly sometimes..."

"You're not silly, love. You're nervous... And it's

completely normal. I just want you to understand that it's okay, I don't want you to feel pressurized or anything"

With that, you thanked him with a small peck on the lips, and after a few minutes admiring the sunset, you decided to go back to the common room.

You were actually very thankful for George; you didn't know someone could be that understanding, and you appreciated that with all your heart. And surprisingly, all your doubts from earlier left your mind, finally being at peace with the topic.

It was insane how quick George could make make your problems disappear for a while.

And thinking about that, you started to feel determined. You wanted him to be your first.

After all, you've know him for a little bit more than three years now, and you've started dating a few months ago. And not once you've felt uncomfortable or upset because of him. And you knew you could trust him for all that virginity story. If you had to lose it now, you'd definitely choose him, even if you weren't dating.

"Flibbertigi-

"George, wait...", you interrupted him in front of the Fat Lady. "I want you to be my first... I want to do it..."

"W-what? Do you mean, right now?"

"Yes, right now...", you smiled to him.

"Oh, for Goddrick's sake... Flibbertigibbet!", he took your hand and took you inside with him, you laughed as you could see his excitement in his eyes.

"George! Could you hel-

"Not now, Jordan!", he left Lee speechless and shocked on place, which made you laugh, "Sorry, Lee!", you apologized.

You could hear a few 'ooohh's and some whistles coming from your friends mouths as you and George quickly went up to his dorm.

Went you arrived, your boyfriend made sure no one was in the room, and the proceeded to close the door shut with a charm. He strangely looked very nervous and excited at the same time, tripping on his own feet and making sure several times that the door was closed and everything was on place.

When he turned to face you and making sure that you were okay, he found you already sitting quietly on his bed, all smiles.

"Oh, darling... Sorry, I got carried away...", he says, embarrassed.

"Are you nervous, George Weasley?", you chuckled.

"Well, maybe...", he slowly started to walk towards you, "I've never had a pretty girl in my room..."

"You liar!", you laughed.

"But you love me...", he said, slowly leaning towards you.

"I surely do...", and with that, George starts kissing you gently, at first; making sure you were comfortable, and when he felt you deepening the kiss, he took it as a green light to sit next to you and push his tongue inside your mouth.

You moaned in his mouth; you felt extremely nervous, anticipating what was about to happen, but you knew that you wanted it. So to relax yourself, you put your hands on his chest, feeling his heart, focusing on its beat.

George took it as a signal to start touching your body. First putting one his hand on the back of your neck, asking more of you. Then, his other hand found its place on your thigh, his warm hand bringing you comfort.

As you kept kissing more and more passionately, his hand slowly went up and down your leg, making you shiver at his touch. You knew you wanted him, right there and right now. All your previous thoughts completely gone now, only replaced by excitement and anticipation.

Trying to lay you down on the bed, George accidentally placed his hand on the inside of your thigh, making you moan at the surprise.

What you didn't know, is that he swore to himself that it was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard, and he was way more than ready to hear more of you.

"Can I...?", he asked, starting to unbutton your shirt.

"Of course you can...", you cupped his face and arched your back to kiss him again, this time more passionately and deeper. You started to feel hot, to feel excited... Feeling a hot and extremely pleasing sensation in your lower abdomen. You lift up your legs a little bit, and accidentally rubbed your left knee on George's crotch, which made him groan in your mouth.

You stopped the kiss and looked at him deep

in the eyes, admiring him. His pupils dilated, his lips slightly swollen from the kiss and his messy long ginger hair falling on his face.

"Merlin, I love you...", you breathlessly say, before taking him for another kiss and slightly pulling his hair, making him groan again.

"I... *kiss*... Love... *kiss*... You... *kiss*... More...", he said between kisses, slowly going from your jawline to your upper chest, passing from collarbone to collarbone.

You've never had someone kissing you as hungrily as he was, and you swore it was the best thing you've ever felt.

"Come here...", you whispered to him, tugging on his shirt so you could take it off.

He wasn't extremely muscular, but he surely was fit. And the contrast of all his freckles on his pale skin made him look even more handsome than he already was.

Both of you continued undressing the other, taking your time to make the other comfortable and not wanting to end the moment, until you knew you were ready.

"George, please... Now...", you said, almost breathless.

He smiled at you, placing a last small peck on your lips, and slowly started a trail of kisses from your jaw to your stomach.

"W-what are you doing?", you asked, already feeling dizzy from what he was doing to you.

"I'm taking my time... I want to make you feel good...", he smiled back, bringing back his attention to your skin and his kisses. He made sure to kiss every inch of your bare skin, leaving here and there marks that would sure be visible for a few days.

"Can I take these off, darling?", he asked, playing softly with the elastic of your panties.

"P-please...", you whispered.

He delicately took them off, and continued placing few kisses around your waist.

"George, fuck..."

"What do you need, sweetheart?", he devilishly smiled, locking eyes with you.

"You, I need you"

"As you wish...", and with that, he took your thighs between his hands, gently spreading your legs for him. You thought your body would automatically close them due to your vulnerable state, but it was nothing like that. He totally made sure you were okay with it and you were feeling more ecstatic than ever.

George blew lightly on your -now- swollen clit, making you breathe heavily. And in seconds, you found his head lost in between your legs. The moment his tongue was on you, you starting moaning. You've never felt anything like that before, not even when you touched yourself.

You automatically brought you hands to his hair, which made him groan.

"George, oh my god..."

"You like that, darling?", he asked, leaving kitten licks on your clit.

"Fffffffuck... I do...", you continued moaning.

He was doing wonders on your pussy, you couldn't believe how good it was feeling. In just a few minutes he had you already squirming under him, moaning all for him.

"Ssshhh... Quiet, darling... You don't want the others to hear you, right?", he says, making his way back up to your lips, allowing you to taste yourself for the first time. "Are you ready for more?"

"Y-yes..."

He went back to your clit, massaging it a little with his thumb, watching your reaction. George couldn't believe his eyes, you were, at this instant, the most beautiful view he could ever have.

With a smile he went back to work his tongue on your swollen clit, but this time, you felt some pressure at your entry. He put his arm on your lower abdomen to keep you in place, that being the hottest thing ever, and he slowly introduced a finger in you.

Since you were not used to it, you started to feel a light pressure, kind of annoying. But as his tongue was still working on you and he would introduce his finger very carefully in and out of you, the annoying feeling quickly disappeared. Only leaving more and more pleasure.

"George! Fuck...", you moaned again.

He didn't stop. On the contrary, he actually sped up a little bit his pace and slightly curled upward his finger, making your back almost arch by itself.

"Shit, that feels so good!"

"I can see that, darling...", he chuckled, licking and slightly nibbling your clit, "You're so beautiful..."

Almost unexpectedly, he introduced a second finger in you, owning a groan of pain in return. "I know darling, but I need to prepare you..."

You took a deep breath and tried to relax as much as you could, feeling your inner walls slowly relax around his fingers.

"Just like that, princess..."

The pleasure you were feeling now was insane. You couldn't even imagine how I'd feel to have him inside; and at the thought of that you started to feel extremely impatient, "Georgie, please, I need you... Now..."

"Are you sure?"

"For Goddrick's sake, yes!", you moaned, louder than before.

He smiled and started to replace his fingers with his tip, taking the time to use your wetness as lube. And then, he slowly entered you.

He put a hand next to your head, and the other one was on your upper thigh, helping him gain balance and not get too carried away and unintentionally hurt you. He watched your face slightly contort in pain, "Relax, darling... It's okay...", he tried to calm you.

You opened you eyes and looked a him, putting one hand on his cheek. He was so handsome...

When he felt you relax under him, he sunk deeper in you, completely stretching you. You didn't know if it was because it was your very first time or if it was because he was way above the average size... Maybe a little bit of both, he was huge!

But when the pain started to disappear, it only

made it better.

"George, honey... Please, move...", you pleaded, already feeling like you were going crazy at the feeling.

He did as you asked, sinking completely inside you and gently thrusting in and out. The firsts fee thrusts were still a little bit painful, but the pain was now accompanied with an extremely pleasing feeling, more powerful than the one you felt when George's tongue was working on your clit.

"O-oh my god... You feel so good...", you moaned, making him twitch inside you.

"And you're so tight for me, Y/N... You're doing so good... So good for me...", his grip on your thigh tightened, probably leaving marks for the next day.

Both of you continued enjoying the moment and the intimacy, George increasing a little bit his pace.

"F-faster... H-harder... Please...", you whined.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! Fuck!", you threw you head back, your hand resting on your forehead.

George did as you asked and increased his pace. He could feel you tight walls closing even more around him due to your pleasure, and he felt like he could die right there and right now and he wouldn't even care.

"Fuck, Y/N...", he groaned, pushing into you and making you scream again, "I'm not going to last much longer... You feel so... Fucking... Good... FUCK!"

You were a moaning mess, you couldn't even think straight. The pain had almost completely disappeared, but the addition of it to all the pleasure you were feeling was a perfect combination.

And just when you thought you couldn't feel even more pleasure, George brought his hand to your clit and furiously started to rub it perfectly.

"FFFFFUCKKKK!", you nearly screamed, back arching into his chest. In just a few seconds you started feeling something warm build up in your lower abdomen, and it seems like George felt it too.

"Come on, darling. Let's do it together..."

He continued thrusting in and out of you, never leaving your clit and applying the correct pressure to it, making you come undone in seconds unexpectedly.

"GEORGE! Shit! I'm c-

"Me too, darling. Come on!"

"FUCK!"

And with a few more thrusts and a bunch of curses, you both came undone for the other. George helped you riding your orgasm, moaning at his own overstimulation, and when you finally calmed down, he dropped onto you.

Neither of you spoke, you were too busy trying to regain your breaths.

"That was..."

"Unbelievable!", he said, sounding like he was dying. That making you laugh.

"Are you okay?", you asked.

"Yeah, yeah! Don't worry about me!", he raised his hand and dropped it. You hugged him tightly and gently stroke his hair, "Thanks, Georgie... For this..."

He turned his head towards yours and locked eyes with yours. You could feel all the love and admiration in his eyes, warming your heart.

"No. Thank you... For loving me, and trusting me..."

You gently smiled and placed a loving kiss on his lips.

"I hope I didn't hurt you..."

"Not at all. You were perfect. More than perfect!"

He kissed your shoulder one last time, and nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck, "Let's take a nap..."

"It's almost 7pm!", you laughed.

"Mmhh... Don't care..."

You laughed and looked at him one last time, before slowly closing your eyes and fall asleep with you boyfriend in your arms. The last thought that crossed your mind was how much you loved that man... and how Lee and Fred were supposed to enter the room since George didn't have the time to lift up the charm on the door...

#harry potter #hogwarts #ron weasley #weasley twins #hermione granger #weasley twins x reader #weasley twins smut #fred weasley #george weasley #george weasley smut #george weasley fluff #george weasley angst #fred weasley smut #fred weasley angst #fred weasley fluff #weasley twins fic #george weasley fic

662 notes · View notes

adorerdraco · 4 years

Text

Healing Heart ✧ Draco x Reader Mini-Series PART 4

PART 1

PART 2

PART 3

Summary: PART 4 ! of Draco accidentally falling in love with reader during his sixth year (HBP) and now having to deal with the reality of his Death Eater status.

Warnings: lots of ANGST (but also tiniest bit of fluff), lots of tears, lots of emotional pain on everyone

Words: 7.5K

A/N: FINALLLYYYY i had no idea what to do with this but something finally came to me !!!! and also an ending ;( so there will only be maybe one or two parts after this one since it is a miniii series BUT FOR NOW I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE THIS AND IGNORE ANY PLOT HOLES FROM THE ACTUAL HP UNIVERSE I TRIED MY V BEST AHHH <33333 do not own gif.

There was an unsettling sense of impending doom that washed over the Hogwarts castle in heavy rain and dark thunderous clouds. The familiar orange and bright sunlight and purple-pink sunsets were gone, the sun only making meek appearances through the thick rainy covers of the sky before disappearing into the nightfall. No one knew what was coming or what to expect. Schooling continued like normal and everyone had entrusted that whatever was the situation outside the bewitched stone walls of Hogwarts; there was no way it could get past the protection charms put in place by the all-powerful Headmaster and his fellow teachers.

The only two people in the school who couldn’t share that same comfort with their peers were also the only ones in the school who had an inkling of what was going to happen next. The second Draco realized he had successfully mended the vanishing cabinet he had a squirming sense of regret and guilt begin to eat away at him. You felt the same burn of shame in you when you mulled over the fact that it was you who had encouraged him to keep at it even when he continuously wanted to quit.

So now here you were, in the chilled room of requirement after finding out the cabinet worked only minutes ago, the two of you sitting in silence together on an old pile of junk while you held a shivering Draco with his face buried in your neck. There was a feeling of droplets of quiet tears falling onto your skin while you pet the top of his silver-stricken hair in reassurance and tried to hold your own tears back. The breakthrough that was supposed to be the biggest accomplishment of the young Death Eater ended up feeling like his biggest failure and it devastated him more than he could have ever fathomed.

When he had finally gathered himself together, he stood up and totteringly fixed the wrinkles on his black suit before offering you a trembling hand. You took it and allowed him to walk you out of the room and back into the empty corridors and towards the staircases. It was a silent trip down to the dungeons and you didn’t want to ask where he was taking you but you regretted not doing so when he stopped the two of you outside a certain greasy-haired Professor’s door. He brought his free hand up to the wood and let his knuckles hit against it faintly with one knock before you rushed to stop him as you yanked the two of you away from the door once you had realized how unwise this felt.

“What are you doing?!” you asked him in a hushed fearful tone.

“I have to tell Snape about the vanishing cabinet,” he responds dully.

“I don’t think he’d like me to be here when you tell him that-”

There was a sudden clicking sound, the door of the office swinging open as Snape emerged from the room with an angered expression when he saw the two of you standing there. When his dark eyes landed on you specifically, you shivered underneath his vexed gaze. It was clear, just how you had said, he did not want you there.

“Inside, now, Draco.” He grits the demand through his teeth.

“Y/N is coming in too,” the Slytherin says quickly, earning another scowl from his Professor. He stepped aside from the door with a visible rage as you followed Draco inside to the dingy room lined with jars filled with weird unnameable objects.

Draco stopped in the middle of the room, reaching for your hand again and tightly gripping it in reassurance. You stared into his worried gray’s with fear, silently begging him to not let you go as Snape walked past the both of you.

“Do you have any idea how imprudent you are, Draco?” Snape sneered, staring down the boy beside you who kept a straight face. “Do you understand how reckless this is? How much does she know?”

“Everything, Professor,” Draco answers quietly. There was a fiery glint in Snape’s eyes as he looked towards you now, his lips curling upwards in a snarl.

“Foolish girl with an equally foolish boy,” he scowls. “You have nothing to do with any of this. You have done nothing but write yourself a death sentence all for the sake of what... love?”

“With all due respect, Professor,” you start timidly, “I knew what the consequences would be if I stayed with Draco and I will gladly accept whatever fate is in store for me for my decision. I also promise you my silence with everything I know.”

Draco squeezed your hand and glanced towards you with a sadness you were easily able to see.

“How touching,” Snape says lowly. “So you’re prepared to die at the hands of the Dark Lord? Or perhaps at the hands of his precious aunt who might get to you first?”

“Yes, I am” you stood tall when you answered, hoping to appear courageous for not only a very doubtful Snape but more for Draco who you felt cringe every time your possible death was mentioned.

He said nothing, but his mind was swarming with thoughts and plans on how he could save you from every dangerous person and outcome that tormented his surroundings. There was one constant threat after another and although he’s contemplated on it several times, there was no solution he could come up with where the two of you stayed together and you would survive. He mentally kicks himself, wishing he pushed aside his own selfish needs and never promised you he wouldn’t leave you again and he wishes now more than ever that he could. It wasn’t because he didn’t love you - it was the opposite of that. He loved you almost too much and as dreadful situations were approaching, he wished he could leave you out of the death and destruction that would soon ensue on everyone, especially you, all because of him. All because he needed you by his side for him to even feel any sense of life in him that kept him going.

“Very well, then, I cannot stop you from these naive decisions,” Snape sighs deeply in defeat and faces the troubled blond, “and what of the vanishing cabinet?”

You felt Draco stiffen, a trembling exhale falling from his lips before responding with, “it’s done.”

“Excellent, expect their arrival soon,” he rounds his desk, stopping right above his chair, “you may leave.”

You hurriedly turned to go, tugging on Draco’s hand as you did so and the both of you drudged out of the office with a heavy sensation settling over the both of you. There was nothing either of you could do now. There was no more stalling with the cabinet, no more keeping quiet, no more hopeful possibilities that things could turn out differently.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

It was nearly physically painful to attend all your classes today. It was fake smiles and conversations that left you feeling pathetically phony -feeling like you were lying to everyone that they were going to be okay when they weren’t. You even made plans with housemates to have a little gathering in the common room later in the week to celebrate someone’s birthday and plans with friends to go study in the library with them.

It even hurt to see your Professors, always kind and helpful, not knowing that sometime in the near future, they’ll be either fighting for their life or the lives of students at Hogwarts.

Draco had it even worse. Not one peep from him throughout any of his classes. He was deathly quiet, walking around looking like a kicked puppy and avoided any conversation or interaction with anyone, not even eye contact. He just felt so guilty that he was going to be the reason why death would inevitably wreak havoc on so many souls. He knows eventually the dark wizard he’s resentfully following would have found a way inside the castle walls somehow - you had reminded him that countless times, but it still left him wondering what would have happened if he couldn’t fully mend the cabinet or refused to.

Halfway through the day, he saw you in Slughorn’s class. The two of you worked diligently together through the whole lesson and when the bell rang, he gave you a small kiss goodbye before walking over to his other class. Your worried eyes followed his retreating figure, leaving you a chilling feeling as he disappeared down the hall.

During his next class, he sat in the far end of a classroom, slumped in his chair with his chin on his palm as he thought of you. He wishes he could be stronger for you, braver and less cowardly. He wished he was unafraid of consequences and could simply grab you and his mother, and eventually even his father, and just apparate to somewhere far away and hidden where the Dark Lord and his followers couldn’t get to him or those he loved. But he knew that no matter how much he wished it or try to convince himself he could; he couldn’t do it and he knows his family wouldn’t let him either.

When classed had finally ended for the day and the corridors were packed with rushing bodies of people meeting up with their friends as they laughed and talked with a weightless glee, Draco found himself pushing past everyone like a mindless zombie as his feet mindlessly carried him throughout the school with no specific destination. There was no moment of peace in his head, just a raging battlefield of endless awful possibilities.

You had been scurrying through the halls, hoping to find the mop of platinum blond amongst the busy crowd of people. The scene felt like a maze, twisting and turning through people and corners until you felt like you were on the edge of madness.

There was a small tap on your shoulder before a large hand had snaked down your arm and into your hand with its familiar cold grasp. You sighed in relief, your head turning softly to face your noticeably stressed boyfriend who had put on a very feeble smile for you.

“Can we go somewhere else,” he asked faintly, leaning down towards your ear as he spoke, “I can’t be here anymore.”

You nodded eagerly, moving the two of you towards the nearest exit of the castle, finally releasing a breath of fresh air when you felt your shoes sink into the soft earth below you. There was a humid and muddy smell in the air, the soil, and plants still wet from the on and off rain that had been occurring for the past few days.

Far from the school and on the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest, there stood a tall and sturdy tree. It was the new tree you had picked for the two of after the first fall out between you and Draco. Its trunk was thick and wide, allowing both of you to hide from anyone who passed by or saw it in the distance. The tresses of leaves nearly showered onto the ground from its long branches that twisted and turned in ways that appeared like it was trying to hug itself. It almost looked like a huge, untrimmed dome, encircling you inside its core while it protected you from unwanted attention. It was perfect.

When you finally reached it, you pushed back some of the leaves so you could walk into the dimly lit and vast space it naturally created and plopped yourself against the trunk with a deep exhale. Draco sat down with you, adjusting himself so that he could lay his head on your lap, humming comfortably when your fingers began their usual work through the soft strands of his hair.

You sat there in silence as the both of you thought, and thought, and thought. It was hard to believe that only this morning you were standing in the room of requirement with him, shocked and distressed that he had finally fixed the vanishing cabinet. Now Snape and the rest of the Death Eaters were aware of the new opening into Hogwarts, preparing to set ablaze the school with pain and some sort of destruction.

You looked down at the boy in your lap, a permanent wrinkle in between his eyebrows as he lied staring straight ahead, a lost look in his gray eyes that you hadn’t seen in so long.

“What are you thinking about?” You asked softly. One of your hands had trailed from his hair and rested gently on his forehead, your pinky gently trying to smooth out the crease between his eyes.

“I should have never fixed the cabinet,” he sighs and sits up to face you. You noticed the glassy look and reddened lash lines, the storming tears ready to come out at any moment.

"Draco, anything that happens next is not your fault,” you tried to reassure but it only made him feel worse.

“No, it’s not only that,” he lets out a shaky breath, letting the first tear fall that he couldn’t hold back. “I have to dedicate myself to my second task now.”

You froze as you remembered the biggest responsibility he had, demanded to him by the Dark Lord himself - the obligation of killing Dumbledore. A mere 16-year-old boy, who was in the middle of a collapsed world and broken judgments, was burdened with the worst trial of them all.

Draco shuddered at the thought, moving to sit beside you against the tree as he sat with his knees pulled to his chest and the waterfall of tears now falling freely down his face.

“I can’t kill him, I don’t want to kill him,” he lamented, “I can’t do it. He’ll kill me first before I can even try.”

You placed a hand on his arm, rubbing soothing circles into it as you let him cry and thought of what you could say. The vanishing cabinet was one thing, but this, this was a life. This was someone who is known to be the most powerful wizard of all time, the only one alive right now who the enemy truly feared. This was someone who everyone needed alive at this time. If Draco went through with this, he would never be able to recover. You know he doesn’t want to do it, at all, and having everyone else in his life nag at him in encouragement is the opposite of what he needs. You truly couldn’t give him any advice on what he can do or why he should.

“I don’t think he would,” you started quietly, trying to find the words to piece together what you wanted to say, “kill you, I mean. I think you’re so used to You-Know-Who, that, you forget Dumbledore isn't evil and is merciful. And maybe, if you stall long enough, someone else can do it? Maybe Bellatrix.”

Draco let out a bitter chuckle, shaking his head at the suggestion, “my dear aunt Bellatrix more than anyone, wants me to do it.”

“I wish there was something I could do to help,” you frowned, letting the back of your head fall against the tree as you stared up at the swinging greenery above you.

“You can help by keeping yourself alive,” he sniffles, his cold hand enveloping itself in yours as he spoke. “If there was one good thing that came out of all of this, it’s you. I think you not being here on this Earth, would feel far, far worse than taking Dumbledore’s life.”

He brought your hand up to his lips, pressing a warm kiss onto the skin before he held it against his chest.

“I wish I could put you in a bubble and send you up above the clouds so you could watch the sky all day and be happy, and most of all safe from everything evil,” he muses, a slight smile on your lips as you listened to his wish. His fingers began twirling around the band on your wrist, the same band he had gifted you the night before when everything seemed to be okay, in a sense.

“Evil will always be here, Dark Wizards present or not,” you remind him gingerly, “just as there will always be good. It’s a balance, one can’t be here without the other.”

“I suppose you’re right,” he sighs. “But I still wish it was possible to send you away in a bubble.”

“If that was possible, you know you would come with me, right?” You turn your head, smiling at him when he met your eyes. You brought up your held hand, wiping away the stray tears that had lingered on his paled cheeks as he kept a firm grasp on your wrist.

“I would love to go with you,” he said tenderly, heart-swelling at how easy you made him feel calm and present. It was wonderous, he felt, how someone had managed to make him feel this way. He never would have thought he’d have someone who genuinely loved him and he loved back, in his love life. Especially not at this time, in this year, where he was facing his worst tribulations and turmoils.

You leaned your head on his shoulder, both of you now staring up into the darkening grayed sky that peeked through the mess of leaves above.

“It’s getting dark, we should probably go soon,” you mumble tiredly, noticing how the moon was already starting to make an appearance behind the heavy gray clouds. "And it looks like it's about to rain."

As soon as the words left your mouth, there was a loud cracking of thunder, the tree’s branches surrounding you suddenly shaking at the sound. You shot up to your feet, Draco following closely as the two of you heard a whining sound coming directly from the trunk of the tree. Its leaves began to move wildly in the wind that approached, more booming of thundering filling the air as a storm above began to brew. The branches began to swing carefully and more inwards as if it was alive and closing itself up from any danger that was coming from around or above it. The leaves were falling over one another, covering up any spaces in the tree that the constricting branches couldn’t cover.

“Draco,” you say timidly, reaching for his hand in fear, “is it just me, or is the tree moving?”

The space underneath the tree had shrunken significantly, it was now a small circle going around the trunk that was big enough to walk around but not enough to run through like you once could. Whatever light the outside was able to offer was now gone, the cracking and compressing branches and leaf clumps blocked out everything from the outside, including the rain that you could very loudly hear pattering against the fronds above you.

“I think its closed us in,” Draco mutters, moving you behind his back as he pulled his wand from his pocket and whispered a quick, ‘lumos,’ so that the two of you could see. He held you behind him protectively as he stepped towards the walls of the tree, pushing against the leaves and branches that were now tightly contracted together that allowed no room for escape. “We’re stuck in here - unless you want to blast a hole through it.”

“No!” you exclaim immediately. You moved away from him and walked towards the trunk of the tree, placing a gentle hand on the dry wood that still seemed to be faintly buzzing from its movement. “We’re not going to hurt it.”

“Y/N, we’re stuck in here, no one knows where we are-” he tries to reason more but you shush him quickly.

“And that’s such a bad thing?” you scoff, moving to press your ear against the wood as you tried to examine it more. You heard the same whining from earlier but much weaker now, its bellows fading now as it felt protected from the storm.

“What are you doing?”

There was confusion written all over the blond’s face as he watched you inspect the tree, curious and concerned with your attentiveness.

“Dray, come here,” you rushed out, motioning towards you so he would hurry over. He let you grab his free hand when he reached you since his wand hand was still casting the only light around you. You placed it against the trunk of the tree with yours, a sudden vibration shooting up his arm at the contact with the wood. “The tree is a sentient. It’s alive and very aware.”

“What, so like the Whomping Willow?”

“Exactly like that, but not aggressive at all,” you nod, beaming up at him. “I think it knows we’re here too.”

For a moment, there was finally a fleeting feeling of glee as both of your worries from the outside left you, allowing reverence and excitement to fill you and spread to Draco.

“You speak tree now?” He snickers, smirking at you when you rolled your eyes.

You leaned your head against the tree, closing your eyes as you quietly thanked it for its protection from the thunder and the rain and its beauty. Draco’s gaze stayed on you, watching you with wonder and fullness in his heart. He began to question himself how someone like you was real, who was so caring with everything you touched, from nature to people. You radiated bravery, loyalty, strong intelligence, and ambition wherever you went and in every situation, you were in.

How did I get so lucky, he kept thinking.

From the corner of his eye, he noticed a bright glittering blue light, and then a purple one, then a pink, and a white. He fully looked up and inhaled faintly when he saw what they all were.

Small translucent and thin stringy flowers of all colors that he could think of began to illuminate themselves from the many branches of the tree before floating off, dancing and twirling in the air as they descended towards the two of you. He noticed they looked nearly identical to spider lily’s - all thanks to Professor Sprout when he was forced to learn several different flowers in her class.

He nudged you gently, pointing up to the air when you opened your eyes and you stepped away from the trunk to look around in awe. There must have been at least a hundred of them spinning and flying, their petals bouncing up and down as they carried themselves around the open area.

You reached up your palm, catching one in your hand as it landed daintily and glowed a bright rose color, its petals still lifting up and down like if it was keeping itself afloat. You turned to bring it carefully towards Draco, almost jumping up and down in excitement that it was on you. He turned off the light of his wand with an easy, ‘nox,’ putting it away now that the area was now fully lit up in beautifully twinkling lights. He smiled down at you, placing both his hands under your one as he helped you hold it up since you were nearly exploding from happiness.

“I’ve never seen anything like this,” you whispered in wonder. “I didn’t even know trees could do this! Our tree!”

“I think this is only because of you, darling,” he whispers back. “You have a way of bringing dull things to life.”

Your gaze flickered up, smiling warmly at him before pushing up gently on the flower, encouraging it to fly away so you could move. You got closer to the Slytherin, his arms encircling around your waist once you were flush against him. One of the green flowers had landed on the top of his hair, settling itself carefully on him.

“I’ve got one on me, haven’t I?” He chuckles and you nod, a bright smile on your face as you looked between him and the flower.

“It likes you,” you beam. “But, not as much as I do.”

He laughs a real laugh of delight and amusement, squeezing you delicately tighter against him.

“Obviously.”

You stood on your tip-toes to reach his tall figure, craning your face up and pressing your lips against his in a loving match. You parted your lips and allowed his warmth to wash all over you in comfort, all thoughts being numbed at the feeling. As your lips continued to move against his, you began to feel a tickling all over your hair and whatever skin was exposed to the air. You pulled away from him curiously, gasping softly when you saw that all the flowers had flown down towards the two of you landing and sitting on you both as if they were attracted like magnets.

Draco moved one of his clasped hands from your waist up to your cheek, grinning to himself as you leaned your head into his touch.

“I’m glad this tree has us trapped in here,” he mutters. “I wouldn't want to be anywhere else with the one I love.”

“I love you more, Draco.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The two of you awoke to the sound of cracking wood and swooshing leaves, a cold breeze following quickly as it encompassed you. You gradually opened your eyes, seeing that the tree was expanding and moving back to its original state and appearing back to normal. Carefully sitting up, you realized the flowers were gone, there was no sight of them anywhere. If it wasn’t for Draco being there with you, you would’ve thought you imagined the whole thing.

Speaking of the said boy, he groaned beneath you, balled fists going up to his closed eyes as he began to rub his sleep away. The early morning light had streamed through weakly through the clouds and through the leaves onto you.

“I wonder if anyone looked for us,” you yawned carelessly, standing up and flattening down the wrinkles on your clothes. You outstretched your hands and back, deeply exhaling at the feeling of relief from the ground below you.

“Probably,” Draco answered sleepily, standing himself up and wiping himself off of all dirt and grime. “We should go back now before it locks s in again.”

You skipped over to the trunk of the tree, placing your hand on it once again and whispering to it a tender, “thank you.”

You could’ve sworn it whined something back, but you brushed it off at your drowsiness and continued towards the castle with Draco.

The two of you walked quietly hand in hand to your common room, stopping outside of it with a sigh as you read a clock on a far-away wall.

7:42 AM

“How long have we been out?” You question fearfully.

“No idea,” he yawns. “Must have been a very long time though.”

Draco freezes in his spot, feeling his body crawl with what felt like tiny spiders when he saw who was standing at the end of one of the nearby corridors, a scowl on his face when they made eye contact.

“Go inside and get yourself cleaned up and ready for the day, love,” he rushed out, placing a quick kiss on your forehead and parted lips as he nudged you towards the entrance. “I’ll see you later, yeah?”

You tiredly nodded, giving the required password to the common room before sneakily stepping inside and tip-toeing towards your room.

When the doors finally closed and you were gone, Draco turned down the corridor and started towards a furious Snape down the way. The raven-haired man stayed glued where he stood, patiently waiting for the young Death Eater to approach him so he could swiftly unleash hell on him.

“I have been searching for you all night,” Snape snapped lowly. “Where did the two of you run off to?”

“We got stuck somewhere, but I’m here now,” Draco answers, staring into the accusatory eyes in front of him.

“You better hope you kissed her your final goodbye,” he snarls. “They’re coming tonight, and you must carry out your last duty - tonight.”

“Tonight?” Draco echoes emptily, feeling like whatever happiness he had left in his body from last night was slowly trickling down his body and out into the floor like a sad, melted popsicle.

“Yes, and after tonight you will no longer be a student here,” Snape reminds with a hushed tone. “Miss Y/L/N cannot follow you. I hope you understand that. it would be incredibly dangerous for you and her.”

“No,” Draco begins to shake his head in refusal, his heart dropping to his stomach as the realities began to set in. “I don’t want to leave her, I don’t know how.”

“I think it’s time you start figuring out how,” his Professor suggests inconsiderately. “Room of requirement at nightfall, you’re opening up the cabinet for them so they’re able to transport. Come alone and prepared to leave the school.”

Before Draco could try to argue, Snape brushed past him and disappeared down the corridor and past a corner, leaving behind a pain-stricken boy who was stupidly in love with someone he couldn’t find in him to let go.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Something was off and unsettling, you noticed. You weren’t sure where it came from, but you felt it eat away at you even though nothing had happened to you. You came home feeling wonderful from an impromptu dreamy night with Draco, completely love-struck and ditzy and halfway through your shower was when it was all washed away and replaced with dread.

You wondered if this is somehow how Draco was feeling before deciding against your gut.

I’m not a mind reader, you thought repeatedly.

It was odd how you saw him nowhere around the school, even more, odd when you hadn’t seen him in your shared Potions class that left you partnering up with your friend who didn’t mind the on and off switching. She asked you eagerly about your disappearance, expecting juicy details but was immediately bored when you gave her a watered-down story of what had happened.

“Oh, we were just watching the stars and accidentally fell asleep outside,” you lied, trying to force excitement in your voice to make the story more believable.

“That’s it?” she deadpanned. “You guys are so boring. Also, what if something attacked you guys? The Forbidden Forest is right there.”

You rolled your eyes, secretly wishing the two of you really were a simple boring couple and not facing the most life-threatening and scariest adversities.

“I’m sure one of us would’ve woken up if we heard something,” you shrug and she sighs, shaking her head.

There was still no sign of him after this class. And there was still no sign of him after the rest of the schooling day had ended.

You sat with your friends in the bumbling busy courtyard, listening to them quietly as they chatted happily. You were worried out of your mind, the pit in your stomach growing wider when you saw Draco’s familiar group of Slytherins gathered together in the distance, not a single platinum head in sight.

As the day continued into the evening and people were making their trip over to the Great Hall, you made up a quick excuse to your friends and broke off from them to scourge the school in its emptiness. It was quickly getting dark, you finally decided to follow your instincts and let yourself bound down the stoned staircase towards the even darker lit dungeons. It was empty and cold, a dooming atmosphere for no apparent reason.

As you were about to turn around, you heard the door to the Slytherin common room open and relief flooded you when you saw Draco emerge from the exit with a new black suit on, perfectly styled and gelled hair, and a somber expression on his face. He looked paler than usual, almost gray, the way he looked when you had found him that day in Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom with a curse ravaging his body.

“Draco!” You called out to him excitedly, running towards him and wrapping your arms around him tightly when you reached him. He felt rigid underneath your touch, a distant look in his eyes as he looked down at you quickly. “Where have you been all day?”

“I’ve had to take care of some stuff,” he murmurs in response.

“Are you okay?” You ask carefully as you observed him. He was cold, emotionally, and physically. He resembled his house’s ghost, the Bloody Baron, cold and angry with hidden despair - just without all the blood.

“I’m fine.”

You stepped away from him at his answer, peering up at him in confusion at his sudden aloofness.

“I need to tell you something,” he ends up breathing out after a moment of awkward tension. His hand wraps around your forearm instead of his usual spot in your hand, nearly dragging you towards an empty classroom that was a few feet away from where you both stood.

He closed the door warily behind him once the two of you were inside, the dingy lamps in the room automatically lighting up when they sensed a presence so you wouldn’t be left in the dark.

“So, what do you need to tell me?” You begin to wring your hands in distress, not feeling hopeful under his miserable gaze.

“We need to end this, here, right now,” he spits out quickly, a troubled expression taking over his features as soon as the words left his lips.

There was a thick silence that fell over the room, a heavy tension that grew with every passing second was bursting at the seams of the walls. You couldn’t think straight, your heart feeling like it had fallen into your back and your stomach bubbling dangerously with bile you desperately wanted to release.

“What do you mean,” you ask stupidly. The tiniest piece of you was desperately hoping that he had meant something completely different than your relationship.

“You and me,” he pointed between the two of you brokenly. “I have to kill Dumbledore tonight, and then I have to leave.”

“I’ll go with you,” you promptly offer, nodding in agreement with yourself.

“You can’t,” he asserts sadly, walking up to you and placing both hands on either side of your biceps, gripping you tightly in place as if you were toppling over. “Y/N, this is the one time you can’t help me. If you come with me tonight, someone will hurt you.”

You stared up at him in dread, relentless tears streaming down your face as he stared back at you with the same look. He was breaking apart, his insides shriveling up in agony while he spoke and continued to hurt you.

“But when will I see you again?” you cry out hoarsely, letting your head fall against his chest as he moves to hug you tightly.

“I don’t know,” he whispers out.

“Draco, please let me come with you,” you begin to plead into the jacket of his suit. “I’ll hide, transfigure me into a goblet, anything! Just please don’t leave again. You promised!”

“I can’t,” he shakes his head. You felt his hot tears land onto the top of your hair, adding more fuel to your anguish. “You have to stay here, in this room, until I’m gone.”

“Are you that dense?” you cry wildly, pushing yourself away from him as you gave him a look of pure anger. “You expect to let me wait here like a sitting duck while I could be out there helping you somehow.”

Draco watched you with remorse, his hand reaching into his suit pocket before drawing his wand out on you with a vigorous trembling hand. You gasped, quick to reach for your own with the same shakiness before it was thrown out of your grasp the second you pointed it at him.

“Expelliarmus,” he said quickly, voice matching his hand. He looked at you painfully again before sputtering out, “locomotor mortis.”

Your legs locked together from beneath you, sending you tumbling backward into an empty desk beside you. You caught yourself on the edges of the desk, staring agape at a shuddering Draco a few feet away.

“I’m sorry,” he cried hard, “I’m so sorry, but I have to keep you safe.”

“Draco, I swear,” you wailed out in despair, “if you leave me here, I will never forgive you.”

Draco halted, contemplating his next move for only a minute. His heart thudding fast against his chest, yearning to give into you as he weighed out his options. He swallowed thickly and turned on his heel towards the door. When his hand landed on the brass handle, he turned back one more time to look at you and felt his world completely and irreversibly shatter.

You were in hysterics, legs stuck together and your hands barely being able to hold yourself up on the desk. You had a despondency about you now, weeping strongly in heartbreak that was caused by him.

He speedily opened the door and threw himself out, shutting it tightly once again and placing his wand against the handle.

“Colloportus,” the lock chimed with a magnifying and powerful click.

He let his head quietly fall against the door, tormenting himself further when he heard your continued cries and now yelling out a pained, “you promised!”

Nothing was holding him together now as he ripped himself away from the door and began his walk to the room of requirement. There was no more hope, no more tranquility, no more comfort. He couldn’t run back to you at the end of the night and let you heal him with soft reassurances and tender kisses. He couldn’t feel your hug anymore or the way you’d lull him to sleep after a rough day with your hands in his hair. It was all gone, all of it. Including you.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

You don’t know how long you cried or when you had fallen to the floor and accidentally fallen asleep in your hopelessness.

When you finally woke up, the room was especially dark now, the lights having been dimmed to nothing as the room had thought you were gone. All you could feel was grief and dejection, everything you knew and loved had been torn away from you; because it was.

When you subsequently felt some of your energy return, you rolled yourself around the floor, extending your arm to grab onto something sturdy so you could hoist yourself up and begin looking for your wand. Luckily, the lights lit up again when they sensed your figure begin to hop around the room, allowing you to search much more easily.

You hopped down each row of scattered desks, searching high and low for where your wand might have been thrown when you were disarmed. You mentally cursed Draco again for the thousandth time that night, the throbbing in your body growing stronger while you thought of how he had left.

You found yourself regretting the bluff you threw at him, feeling stupid now that he was gone with the idea that you might hate him. You regretted letting your rage and sadness get to you, yelling at him things you didn’t mean all because you were angry he was trying to do to protect you.

Stuck in your head and mindlessly hopping towards the front of the room where Draco had hit you with both spells, you didn’t see your wand under your shoe until it had rolled out from underneath you, sending you falling into a set of desks that were lined up behind you.

The impact of the fall barely phased you, weakly shifting yourself upright and bending over and outstretching a hand towards your wand. When you finally felt it between your fingers, you dragged it towards you and into your grasp before hurriedly pointing it towards your legs and muttering the counter-curse to unbind yourself. Once you felt the feeling back in your legs, you jumped up and ran towards the door only to slam against it, unknowing to you that Draco had also spelled the door before he left.

“Arse,” you mutter, touching your wand against the lock and speaking out a clear, “alohomora.”

When you stepped out into the gloomy freezing corridor of the dungeons, you knew something was wrong. It was clear in the air that something awful had just happened, every feeling of sadness seeping deep into the stone of the castle.

You flew up the stairs, running as fast as you could towards the Quad where everyone was gathered like zombies. Your legs continued carrying you out, looking up at the sky to see a huge Dark Mark painted in the grayed clouds above. Your gut was screaming at you the reason why, but you didn’t want to believe it until you had seen the evidence of your thoughts lying on the ground not far from you.

It was Dumbledore, motionless, and gone.

Harry was sitting above him, Ginny hugging him tightly as he cried quietly. You felt your tears prick your eyes, feeling guilty that you had known all along what was going to happen, guilty that you couldn’t do anything to stop it, guilty that there was no one to challenge against the evil that doomed the wizarding world, guilty that you couldn’t help Draco against it.

You kept telling yourself he couldn’t have done it, he couldn’t have, but it was clear as day - the scene in front of you. You swallowed the lump in your throat, allowing yourself to cry with your school in grief, crying even more while the second loss you experienced tonight had begun to work itself back into your tears.

And when everyone had cleared out, and it was just Harry and a few others, including some Professors, you begrudgingly made yourself walk up to the group. It was hard, seeing Harry and his friends stare at you with a look you couldn’t quite place. A look between pity and something unidentifiable.

“I’m sorry,” you let out hoarsely to Harry as you finally neared them. “I know this must be hard for you.”

“Yeah, thanks,” he answered awkwardly. “I saw it happen, you know.”

“Oh,” you frown, rubbing your sweaty palms against your jeans as you waited for him to curse you out, to yell at you for Draco’s wrongdoings and murderous feat. But he didn’t. He only stared at you sadly.

“If you wanted to know,” he began, shoving his hands into the pockets of his hoodie as he spoke, “Malfoy didn’t do it, he couldn’t.”

There was a solace that ran deep within you at the revelation. A shaky exhale quietly falling from your lips while you tried to hide your relief. You silently thanked the stars for sparing Draco, knowing now that there was still hope he could be saved.

“So then who did it?” You ask timidly.

“Snape,” he shook his head glumly, “it was Snape.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

There was a loud snapping sound ringing throughout the Malfoy Manor as Draco apparated inside the living room with his mother, clutching tightly onto her as he stumbled over his feet, feeling sick to his stomach and distraught at everything he had to live through that night.

He fell to his knees, backing himself up against a wall as he began clutching at his chest, gasping desperately for air as his panic attack had started to tear away at him. He was breathing erratically, tears falling from his eyes in rivers as he tried to remove the suit jacket that felt too tight against him.

Narcissa Malfoy looked down at her son, fear and sorrow suddenly undertaking her as she bent down to sit in front of him. She was momentarily glad she felt the need to meet the others near the outskirts of the school’s failing barrier, instantly grabbing Draco from the group when everyone was planning on staying longer for further destruction. One broken look on his face was all she needed to whirl the two of them out of there and back into their large empty house.

“Breathe, Draco,” she said softly, placing a warm hand on his wet cheek as he continued to sob. “Breathe.”

“I left her,” he choked out through his tears, “mother, I left her!”

“Who?” Narcissa asked, puzzled. “Who did you leave?”

But he didn’t answer her. He only cried harder and it didn’t stop even though his mother was holding him reassuringly in her embrace. She swiftly realized that there was more than he was letting on, and she knew that these weren’t only tears from what had happened with his failed task, she knew his tears mostly came from an ache deep within his heart, from an anguishing love.

“I left her there!” He cried loudly in her arms, clutching onto her tightly as he continued to struggle for his breath and sanity. She felt her own heart begin to break, wishing so deeply she could remove all hurt that stabbed at him.

“Draco, my love,” she tried again gently, “who did you leave?”

“Y/N,” he croaked out, “I left Y/N.”

PART 5

TAGLIST:

@viirgobbyy @bluesunflowersz @dreamyvcid @goddessofgames @natt-nih @cheesecakes-randomshitz @supersouthy @rebellionsarebuiltonhopee @peter-parka @thefandomplace @angelofslytherin @blueleonor @karentheugly

(I’m sorry if I forgot anyone, I <3 all of you and everyone who read this)

2K notes · View notes