“You lived through that, you will live through this too”

Yes, but how many things do I have to live through? How many times do I have to be grateful I made it out alive? When do I get to stop surviving and start thriving?

I always wondered why survivors understood other survivors so well. Why, even if the details of our attacks vary, survivors can lock eyes and get it without having to explain. Perhaps it is not the particulars of the assault itself that we have in common, but the moment after; the first time you are left alone. Something slipping out of you. Where did I go. What was taken. It is terror swallowed inside silence. An unclipping from the world where up was up and down was down. This moment is not pain, not hysteria, not crying. It is your insides turning to cold stones. It is utter confusion paired with knowing. Gone is the luxury of growing up slowly. So begins the brutal awakening.

Chanel Miller, Know My Name

I’m not an “”empath”” I was raised in an unstable and emotionally abusive home and have been in multiple abusive relationships that have all led me to be hypersensitive of other people’s emotions out of fear.

The places you touched like land scorched by lava, utterly destroyed, but in due time ready to blossom again.

My body is not tainted or corrupted, flowers bloom from it.

I need to stop sharing my feelings and remember that people don't care! I need to stop being this stupid!

i think a lot of us are very upset and agitated and even triggered by the current trial and its horrible treatment in the media and on social media. i wanna take this moment to ask you to stop doomscrolling and take a step back from the internet. do some calming breathing exercises or the butterfly hug. if at all possible, go outside and walk around for a bit. if you feel like you're not in your body or the world around you isn't real, try naming 5 things you see, hear, and feel (then 4, then 3, then 2, then 1). eat something filling and fulfilling. drink enough water. take a shower if you feel like it, or splash your face with water. you are valuable and you deserve to take care of yourself. you are safe.

the idea that any survivor should be gatekept from survivor spaces because we have different media preferences is insane. imagine a war vet joining a support group but they feel the need to make sure he doesnt enjoy playing call of duty first before they let him in

I don’t know how to tell you that you should support survivors regardless of if they like something you think is gross. it should not be impossible to find a DID server that doesn’t treat you like an untouchable because you like or are okay with people liking whatever they want in fiction. do you really want to be the reason that people can’t connect with others like them.

I feel like I'm just a miserable person at my core. I can't have any proper conversations without it being me just trauma dumping all over everyone and talking about how shitty I feel constantly. I wish I was one of those people who always has something nice to say, but instead I'm just so fucking negative.

“I want sacred, I want final

And I'm seeking it wherever I go”

A few more Arts

Most people say development is linear, but for survivors it is cyclic. People grow up, victims grow around; we strengthen around that place of hurt, become older and fuller, but the vulnerable core is never gone.

Chanel Miller, Know My Name

tw: peer abuse, childhood trauma

i honestly am convinced that "x group should be bullied" jokes set us back enormously on an ethical level.

i think this stems in part from the misconception many people have that bullying looks like it does on TV. that there's one person or a small isolated group of bullies who call you names and shove you in a locker. but this is simply not the case. bullying is perpetrated by a comparably large group and permitted and perpetuated by the majority and the authority within a given setting.

bullying looks like getting beaten up by all the boys in third grade at once, getting pushed every single day in first grade, never feeling safe to talk in class, not being allowed to laugh in public, nobody talking to you unless it's to be condescending and insulting, hiding in the toilet stalls to cry. bullying looks like your teachers blaming you, friends abandoning you because they can't stand the fallout (if you even had any in the first place), not feeling able to tell your parents about it, getting abused and exploited by the people you try to go to for help. bullying looks like random explosions of rage, aggression, self-harm, suicidality.

bullying happens in schools, hobby groups, activist groups, organizations and workplaces. it is a form of peer abuse that utilizes group dynamics to create outcasts and then systematically punish them for not fitting in. it can only happen because the majority and the authority (teacher, boss, HR etc.) allow it or even stoke it on, partake in it or start it in the first place.

bullying is traumatic, especially for children. it does not build character or serve to make someone less "weird" or teach them a lesson. it's not funny to say that someone deserves bullying, that's the logic of abusers. victims of bullying are often disabled, queer or racialized. the target is "weirdness" and an inability to fit in. that's also how enablers justify not interfering; they say we just need to be taught a lesson, so we'll learn to hide and contort ourselves and become small.

bullying causes trauma. bullying is abuse.

short pinned

blog is best viewed on desktop, on the actual url. read my abt/byf page before following, obviously. if you're a mobile only user then use the browser version or something idk?

dni > typical dni criteria, radinclus/radqueers/transx/transid/pro-paras, narcissistic abuse truthers, truscum, baeddels, transandrophobia truthers, ai fanboys, biphobes, discoursers, comship/profic/proship/consang/sals/ykinmk/misuse the word puritan, fakeclaimers, harass people based on system origin, "q slur" taggers, fujoshi/fudanshi/himejoshi/himedanshi, anti selfship/fictos/yumejin, antikin/antialterhuman, punk elitists/skinheads who aren't SHARP/poseurs, rp blogs, abused kid/adult aesthetic seekers (including those who are into traumacore purely as an aesthetic and aren't using it to vent or cope), cgl/re /ddlg/abdl/sexualized age regression, nonsystem littles, regressed littles who cannot and should not handle serious dark topics, "mutual abuse" truthers, think revenge against your abuser is abusive, think anger is toxic, think homicidal and suicidal ideation is wrongthink, yanderes/irl yanderes/yanderecore aesthetic seekers (borderlines who reclaim yandere aspects but are critical of it are fine), bad media enjoyers (omori, fnf, hp, hetalia, HH/HB, etc.), going to break common and clearly stated boundaries (such as this dni, screenshotting and reposting posts that have reblogs turned off, etc.)

well that was. very long. newayz i really don't bite lol i just find the above kinds of ppl immensely insufferable n harmful. im usually freindly and love talking 2 people but i do that mostly on my main. i also fallow from my main in case u forgot!

I am safe and loved and I am not to blame for what happened. I am not tainted, disgusting or damaged goods. I am not dirty because someone else hurt me I feel dirty because I am disgusted by what they did. That does not mean I am disgusting myself. When I feel 'contaminated' I need to realize that they did not make me repulsive or bad. Those are emotions that I feel towards them and their actions. I should not be feeling them about myself.