I always wondered why survivors understood other survivors so well. Why, even if the details of our attacks vary, survivors can lock eyes and get it without having to explain. Perhaps it is not the particulars of the assault itself that we have in common, but the moment after; the first time you are left alone. Something slipping out of you. Where did I go. What was taken. It is terror swallowed inside silence. An unclipping from the world where up was up and down was down. This moment is not pain, not hysteria, not crying. It is your insides turning to cold stones. It is utter confusion paired with knowing. Gone is the luxury of growing up slowly. So begins the brutal awakening.

Chanel Miller, Know My Name

Victims are often, automatically, accused of lying. But when a perpetrator is exposed of lying, the stigma doesn't stick. Why is it that we're wary of victims making false accusations, but rarely consider how many men have blatantly lied about, downplayed, or manipulated others to cover their own actions?

Chanel Miller, Know My Name

When trauma is performed into art, there will always be a paradox at play: The art’s existence is beautiful, but it shouldn’t have to exist at all.

Megan Garber The Atlantic in a review of Chanel Miller's Know My Name

"Just say no"

"Just fight back"

She did

But when she finally was able to fight, she was convicted.

This world doesn't care about its women and AFAB people. Especially America's WOC. Over a 1,000 Indigenous women are missing. They aren't just someone's family, girlfriend, and or a friend. They are human beings. There are many cases like these, violence against women and other AFABS have lasted for centuries. This cycle of hatred and abuse needs to stop.

Remember 97%.

Chanel Miller, Know My Name

Just finished this book. Very good important read. As someone from the bay area, I was very familiar with the setting and even remember voting to recall Judge Persky.

Strongly recommend! Have your sons and daughters read this too!

-chanel miller

Most people say developing is linear, but for survivors it is cyclic. People grow up, victims grow around; we strengthen around the place that hurt, become older and fuller, but the vulnerable core is never gone.

Chanel Miller, Know My Name

Amber Heard, (N/A, N/A)

—Know My Name, Chanel Miller (2019)

In fact I need you to know it was all true. The friendly guy who helps you move and assists senior citizens in the pool is the same guy who assaulted me. One person can be capable of both. Society often fails to wrap its head around the fact that these truths often coexist, they are not mutually exclusive. Bad qualities can hide inside a good person. That's the terrifying part.

Know My Name, Chanel Miller

...having extra needs does not make you too difficult, too time consuming, but worthy of compassion and love.

Know My Name, by Chanel Miller

At twenty-two I was beginning to wonder if adulthood was just a series of endless losses. What benefits were there to growing up? How do you feel all these heavy things for the rest of your life?

Chanel Miller, Know My Name

This time I wondered what behavior was acceptable for a victim. What tone? She warned me not to get angry. I learned that if you’re angry, you’re defensive. If you’re flat, you’re apathetic. Too upbeat, you’re suspect. If you weep, you’re hysterical. Being too emotional made you unreliable. But being unemotional made you unaffected. How should I balance it all?

Chanel Miller, Know My Name

No matter how awful and long your journey, I can promise you the turn. One day it will lift.

Chanel Miller, Know My Name

Chanel Miller, Know My Name: A Memoir

"A long time has passed since the last time I was in that courtroom, but I worry I will forever be stuck on the stand. My mind is one step behind where it used to be. I call it the lag. Before I was living in real time. Now I evaluate the moment before I can move into it. I am always asking permission, anticipating having to present myself to an invisible jury, answering questions before a defense."

– Chanel Miller, Know My Name