Arospecs who experience some romantic attraction/experience it conditionally/etc. are still AROMANTIC if we use that label. Excluding us from our own community is not helpful to aro activism or the aro community in any way.

aromantics who fall somewhere on the aro spectrum that’s not Just Aro that call themselves aromantic i love you

Aro culture is being sick of "They aren't dating anyone so they must be gay/a lesbian!"

Nothing against people headcanoning characters as gay or lesbian (I'm arospec ace and gay) but like. Aromanticism exists too.

(This was brought on by seeing a slide in a PowerPoint in my English Lit lesson today (13th March), I didn't see it fully since the teacher was just skipping over it quickly to check some other context stuff but it said something about how in the book we're studying, Jekyll and Hyde, none of the major characters are in romantic relationships and therefore it's possible that they could be gay. I might bring up that they could also be aro when my teacher brings it up?)

.

Love is too imprecise a word.

"I love you" I would follow you like a hound into hell if you didn't forbid it, and even then, i would want to walk beside you anyways "I love you" I want you to come home to me. I want to keep your home warm with food on the stove that you can eat. "I love you" I will hold you when sorrow finds you "I love you" I want to be held "I love you" I hunger for you like an animal; isn't it funny how carnal has two meanings? "I love you" I have heard you laugh and it sounds the way sunlight feels "I love you" I want to keep you with me. "I love you" If you are hurt I will tend to your injuries and kill what injured you. "I love you" come watch the stars with me "I love you" I'm making this for you so you won't feel the winter's chill. "I love you" I want to kiss you wearing sticky lipgloss to make it your problem too. "I love you" I would grieve with you. "I love you" I wrote down your favorites so I wouldn't forget them "I love you" I know you.

[edit: I know this is a love poem, but please do not comment “<3” or leave heart emojis on this post. thank you in advance!]

Lovesick:

A punk term coined in relation to aro to describe both an affinity and rejection for “love” and its associated concepts ; love, romanticism, or otherwise assumed “romantic” actions or feelings, pushed past it’s limit, often to to the point of repulsion or it feeling sickening ; traditional lovesickness experienced in an unconventional or transversive way [Term was made with romance repulsed romo aros and aros who got torn between loveless and arolovic in mind, but it isn’t exclusive to aros. Lovesick is a punk term and may apply to anyone, the definition is descriptive for the people already using it. If you feel it applies you can use it.]

goop and candy flags by me, using @arokill’s dripping candy hearts symbol

acid flag (and b&w variations) by @arokill

I keep seeing things by other aro people that seem to act as though QPR = soft romo or romance lite, and it really makes me uncomfortable. There is no grouping where it makes sense to include both QPRs and romantic relationships but no other kinds of relationships. People who are in or want QPRs aren't less aro nor are we experiencing some other form of attraction (there are aros who experience queerplatonic attraction, but having/wanting QPRs =/= experiencing queerplatonic attraction).

I am so baffled that in the last year or two I've suddenly been treated differently by my community because this weird sentiment has arisen. Please stop making so many assumptions about what QPRs are like and what they mean to the people in them. To me the difference between "best friend" and "queerplatonic partner" are negligible, and also my QPP is my best friend FIRST and FOREMOST, so a lot of these posts also feel like they're erasing the most important part of my relationship with him because they put QPRs and friendships at odds! QPRs and friendships are not mutually exclusive? And QPRs are highly variable and are defined by the people within them, so again, please stop making so many assumptions because you are probably wrong. You're certainly wrong about mine.

It's getting really frustrating, because the aro community is starting to feel like being around allo people, in that people make lots of incorrect assumptions about how I relate to other people. It used to be that the aro community was the one place where I could generally be understood, but now that's going away. The point of choosing the QPR label (for me) was to be able to define it entirely ourselves, instead of having premade assumptions and expectations. And now my own community is imposing those on me.

on the topic of them, do you ship either kaneki or touka with other characters?

touka's too aro for me to ship her romantically, but i like queerplatonic touriko and her being nishikimi's +1 or something (early :re touka, and of course still in a qplatonic sense)

as for our dear protag, it depends on the version lmao: kuroneki: shuuneki, qp kanerize (rize's too aro), tsukikanerize (listen.), matsuneki (yeah, shush.) - shironeki: shuuneki (in a huh. very specific way), qp amoneki (amon's too aroace) - haise: qp/soft-romo amonhaise - black reaper: furuneki (r-anarchy), etokane (? is that their name?) (also r-anarchy) and the three of them bc why the hell not (still r-anarchy) - king: please consider fuka

tldr my main kaneki ship is shuuneki (og exclusive - potentially up to haise)

hi I’m aro so I don’t get crushes I love romantic things when they’re fictional but I don’t like romance to involve me I don’t ever want to get married and I don’t see the point in it what makes a relationship romantic as opposed to platonic seems very arbitrary to me and I don’t like dating. there are however tons of aro people who feel very differently than I do. we’re a very diverse community. what unites us is experiencing little to no romantic attraction (romantic attraction is a desire for a romantic relationship, often includes things like daydreaming or butterflies as I understand it but again never experiencd it so 🤷🏻‍♀️) I’m not a lesbian tho I’m bisexual so all I can say about that is girls are hot

not sure if anon was asking about aro ace and lesbian identities all together or separately but it is possible to be a combination of those things such as an ace lesbian (romantic attraction/crushes on women and women aligned folks but no/little sexual attraction/lust for them) or aro lesbian (the inverse) or all three and experience a third type of attraction or experience small/weak romo or sexual attraction to women exclusively but still identify with asexual and aromantic spectrum identities. Lots of overlap between these communities when it comes to women bc of the way women are expected to perform heterosexuality.

hope this helps I’m @cuzyouwerenevermine if you have more questions my degree was partly in sexuality studies

for anon!! and thank you for such a good explanation <3

Hey!

My name is Eria and I am a sex-repulsed aroace. I’ve been wanting to make a ___-culture-is blog as well and now I’ve got an idea so ... yeah, here we are.

If you send in asks and submissions, please start them with sex-repulsed culture is. Things as sex-repulsed ___ culture or sex-averse culture are alright too! I’ll include sex-averse here since both terms are similar (though still distinct).

My pronouns are she/her, I have ADHD and though I am not a minor, I would appreciate it if you refrain from sending in nsfw.

I think that’s everything you need to know about me for now!

This blog is inspired by the other culture-is blogs, including but not exclusively:

@ace-culture-is

@aro-culture-is

@romo-aro-culture-is

@lgbtqcultureis

@queercutlureis

@demi-culture-is

@aspec-sapphic-culture-is

@tertiary-attraction-culture-is

@orientedaroace-culture-is

Only one bed

This is a prompt from Officer Jamie from the bog:

I hope this lives up to that prompt? Also, Bards QPR for Wolfie

Dandelion & Jaskier QPR (gen) - Modern AU - Aro!Dandelion and Aro!Jaskier have organised a trip to London but there is only one bed. No romo

...

Jaskier had organised for him and Dandelion to visit London to see Wicked at the Apollo Victoria Theatre, and he’d had the soundtrack album on repeat for weeks. He always sang Elphaba’s parts and Dandelion joined in with Galinda’s high notes. Their poor neighbours probably hated it when they sang together, but to be honest, they were probably used to it by now. At least they were good. No off-key singing at least, even if it was a bit loud. It was just such a good musical to pour your heart and soul into. You had to sing it with everything you had.

When he’d booked the hotel room for their amazing, awesome trip to London, Dandelion hadn’t given any thought to the bed situation. He didn’t see any reason to get two separate rooms instead of one, but he forgot that they usually came with only one bed, unless he specifically looked for two singles, which he hadn’t. Luckily for him, Jaskier didn't seem to mind much. They’d shared beds before, and this was nothing new. Besides, they both enjoyed cuddling, and Dandelion knew that he liked to spoon in his sleep, especially as they were in an unknown place and it would make him feel a bit more at ease if they were touching.

They’d managed to make it to the city in good time, which meant that they could check into the hotel and freshen up and change into suitable clothes before they were due to dine at the posh place Dandelion had arranged for them. He had contacts in the city, who had pulled some strings to get them into one of the most exclusive restaurants in London, which was handily near Victoria. When they arrived, the waiter showed them to a secluded table in the corner, with lit candles and elegant flowers in a vase. The staff had obviously assumed the two friends were on a date, which was a bit awkward, but the table setting was cute, and Jaskier had never had the romantic date night experience so he appreciated feeling special for once. The fact that he was here, in London, with his best friend and enjoying the sights was magical too. They’d be heading out to the theatre after their food, and then tomorrow they had the whole day to explore the city, before heading back home.

The food was exquisite and the show was all Jaskier hoped it would be. He and Dandelion were singing ‘Defying Gravity’ on the way back to their room, and it didn’t take long before they were collapsing on their shared bed, exhausted from the day’s events. Dandelion and Jaskier snuggled together under their duvet and tried to decide on what they’d do the next day, before they had to return home again. Jaskier had picked up some leaflets, and was scrolling through his phone for ideas while his friend agreed or disagreed with various suggestions and called out more. Once they had some sort of a plan, it was time for some well earned sleep.

@officerjennie @thepassifloradiscord @jaskierswolf

Hiya! You said you’re demiromantic? (Is that right?) the reason I ask is because I’m demisexual and I’ve been seeing someone for the past year who recently came out as aromantic. I was just wondering if you had tips on what it’s like to date an aromantic person. I don’t want him to push me away or whatever. I’m always v conscious of his boundaries bcus I love him but like..? Aro people don’t feel love back, right? Sorry if that’s wrong! I’ve tried doing research but haven’t found a lot 😩

Well????? I dont know how much advice i can give you....i have never dated anyone, all my knowledge is from romo fiction and learning from other people's stories/experience. But imma just mix in what i personally want from a potential suitor✨ charrroootttt.

Also please DO NOT say " Aro people dont feel love back". Its very hurtful and yall make it sound we're unfeeling bastards. Yknow? We do love but we just dont feel ROMANTIC love. We are capable of loving our families, our best friends, down to a tiny little froggo we see on the side of the street. We just cant romo.

Anyways, i for one thing would suggest you guys open up the conversation to discuss and define your relationship and what you guys want out of the relationship. As a ace/aro, the Split Attraction Method (SAM) always helps me describe my feelings. Check out these terms/common aro/ace vocab that might help yalls.

You guys would have to really discuss your boundaries. Like lets say.....you want some intimacy but he might uncomfortable with some of it. You guys would really have to discuss why its important for you (especially when you want to feel supported and loved) and how he can provide it for you without feeling gross about it.

Also....this is gonna sound very harsh. But you'll have to be content if he tells you he doesnt feel or can reciprocate the same level of romantic feelings for you. Like im sure he loves you in his own way, he just cant (romo) love you the way you want him to. Just really reeeeeeaaaaalllyyy make sure if he's ok with the sterotypical "bf/gf/partners/significant other" labels if you guys want to be an item/together/be exclusive. Or what ever you crazy kids call it.

Tldr; Communication is key. 👏👏👏

Good luck, anon!!!! 💚🤍🖤

EDIT: So i can attach @krowbby 's suggestion of checking out the aromantic subreddit also the aroace subreddit

Lovelustic Aro Flag!! 💞

Finally got around to making a flag for this term I coined!! (Coining post linked above)

The pink shades are inspired by the hot pink sex stripe on the Gilbert Baker pride flag and the colors on the hypersexual flag, as some Lovelustic experiences are connected to experiencing hypersexuality. The pink shades also represent love and/or romance if one finds that applicable to them. The green and teals represent aromanticism and arospec (the arospec flag has teal shades on it)

Simplified versions:

11-stripe

9-stripe

I think I might be grey aro and maybe grey ace too?

I’m 20 years old and I only ever have gotten like 3 crushes and when I got asked out by one of my crushes I panicked and declined and I didn’t regret it at all because I realized I didn’t really like him anymore. I think that’s because he had certain ideas of romance that made me uncomfortable. Like, he wanted to have sex and make out and go to movies together which just was not at all what I wanted. I didn’t want the physical side of things, I just wanted a cute person to be emotionally close to who could call me cute and stuff. Then I had a crush on a fem enby that involved aesthetic attraction, the want for emotional closeness and exclusivity, “butterflies”, but not sensual attraction (I didn’t want to hug or kiss or anything), and definitely no sexual attraction. It felt pretty soft romo I think and it took YEARS to figure out if it was an actual crush or a platonic crush and tbh now I’m thinking it was something in between the two. I also had a crush on a best friend once and I didn’t really feel bad when he declined me? I sort of just had a squish on him I think. I didn’t want to do anything romantic or sexual with him, I just wanted to be extra close. I always found kissing kinda weird and never really want to do it other than for the romantic gesture of it. I also have been confused a lot thinking I had crushes on people when in reality I just liked feeling wanted by them or I wanted to be close friends with the person. Although I do want a partner one day, I don’t feel obsessed with it like others where it’s something I need. I just want it because it would be cute and feel good having a special connection with someone. But I realized for allo people they have different ideas of romance and sex and the importance of both that I always thought was made up until I realized people actually want the movie cliches and such. But yeah, I think I still want a romantic partner, but my feelings towards romance are a little weak and infrequently and I’m also open to other forms of bonds with people that are less romantic such as qprs which causes me to think maybe I’m greyromantic. I also think I might be greysexual autosexual and freysexual but that’s a whole other rabbit hole that I won’t go into for this post aha

Do you know why romo aces try to totally annihilate the idea of a non-split asexuality and why they instantly turn into agressive bulldogs when they hear about it ?

Why they say that non-split asexuals are super a(ce)phobic and are living threats for the entirety of asexuals ?

You know why romo aces are super upset when non-split asexuals refuse to call themselves aro and say that not falling in love is what makes them asexual ?

You know why asexuality is the only orientation that is exclusively thought as split when the other orientations are not ?

You know why people who joined the asexual community recently are not even capable of understanding / consider asexuality (and sometimes even the other orientations) outside of the SAM ?

It is because amatonormativity is the very base of asexual activism, discourse and community-building since the 10 lastest years, and that is a huge problem.

I am not a threat to asexuals. But I absolutely assume being one for amatonormative asexuals who hate non-split asexuals and aros, yes.

I am thinking we need some positivity for aplatonic aromantics and especially aplatonic romo aros. its not contradictory to enjoy romance or romantic actions but to be aplatonic. its not confusing to be romance favorable but platonically repulsed. you can be partnering as an aro and not want or have friends. none of these things disqualify you from being a romo aro. none of these should be considered inherent to your aromanticism or aplatonicness. they are not mutually exclusive. our community is diverse and you are an inherent part of it. you should be included and considered, always. its always a part of us as romo aros that you are here, and im so glad you are.

you should be recognized. you should be considered. you deserve to be included, to be written in. you are here, just as you should be. and im happy to know you.

Do you have any aro Michael headcannons you want to share? Love your blog and you helped me realise I could see my aro self in heavily shipped characters which makes consuming all media so much more fun

YES ABSOLUTELY HERE YOU GO AND THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

i’ll need to look for a picture of it but i saw on here this patch with a leafeon over the aro flag and anyway michael definitely owns that

he also owns a “no romo, yes homo” patch. his moms got it for him after he came out bc they’re trying their best to be supportive despite being the most alloro of alloros, and he burst into simultaneous tears and laughter when he opened it

michael joins archery club just for the arrow/aro jokes. jake rejoins after the play, and he regrets it immediately after the first meeting w michael there

one time during asaw he played and filmed a whole runthrough of pokemon ruby using exclusively green, white, gray, and black pokemon. he succeeded

“jeremy heere, will you marry me…for tax benefits?” / “shut the FUCK up”

layering every flavor of green slushie together does NOT taste good, as michael finds out one year during pride. doesn’t stop him from getting it anyway every single pride afterward