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bisexualunicronrunningloose · 8 months

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Criminal Minds - Resurrection

Reid x fem!reader (previous relationship, broke up sometime after Emily died, takes place during and after season 7 episode 1, so there will be spoilers)

Y/N POV

“Seven months ago I made a decision that affected this team. As you all know Emily had lost a lot of blood after her fight with Doyle. But the doctors were able to stabilise her. And she was air lifted from Boston to Bethesda under a covert ex filtration. Her identity was strictly need to know.” Hotch spoke to the room.

“She’s alive,” Pen asked in shock.

“But we buried her.” Spencer said confused.

“As I said I take full responsibility for the decision. If anyone has any issues they should be directed towards me.”

“Any issues? Yeah I got issues” Morgan said in a mixture of shock and anger.

Just then you saw Emily walk in… alive.

“Oh my….god,” you said under your breath. You looked over at Morgan he looked just if not more shocked than you. He had been there when Emily had been attacked.

“I am so sorry. I really am. Not a day went by that I didn’t want to … Really I. You didn’t deserve that. And I’m so sorry” Emily said.

Everyone was getting up and hugging her. You briefly meet eyes with Spencer and he looked surprised. The only other person besides Hotch that didn’t look surprised was JJ… had she known? Did she help get Emily out and into hiding? You gave Emily a very tight hug.

“I missed you so much” she whispered in your ear.

“I missed you more” you whispered back.

“There’s so much I want to tell you guys, and I will I promise. But right now I really want to know what’s going on with Declan.” Emily said.

Your mind still was reeling from the fact that Emily was alive and with you all again. The last seven months had been an emotional rollercoaster. You had buried one of your own teammates, you had cried for what had felt like days and had to deal with the fact the team downsized. Spencer had begun to pull away about a month afterwards until one day you had enough and confronted him about it.

“Have a good evening at JJ’s?” You asked from where you were sitting on his couch not looking up from the book you had been reading.

“What are you doing here?” He asked closing the door with a thud and kicking off his shoes

“Seriously?” you asked putting a bookmark in the book before closing it and placing it on the coffee table.

“Yeah… it’s late. What are you doing here?”

“Waiting for you,” you said looking at him, had he really forgotten that the two of you had made plans to stay in tonight and watch something?

“Why?”

“Because we had plans Spencer. This is the third time you’ve bailed on me and each time it’s because you’ve been at JJ’s.” you said getting up from the couch and coming face to face with him.

“We have plans for Wednesday. Anyway JJ has been helping me with dealing with the loss of Emily”

“Today is Wednesday Spencer. I tried calling you but you didn’t pick up your phone. I was worried about you, I didn’t know where you were or if something happened to you, if you were hurt. The only reason how I knew where you were was because JJ called after you left and asked if everything was ok,because she had overheard our plans the other day. Anyway it’s late, I cooked it’s on your counter in some containers if want to heat it up.” You said grabbing your bag and heading for the door.

“Where are you going?” Spencer said grabbing your wrist.

“I’m going home. Like I said it’s late, I’ll see you at work in the morning”

“Please stay. I.. I’m sorry I got the days mixed up. Just please stay the night y/n, you can borrow my old shirt from MIT. We could still watch something or I could read to you. Just please stay.” He spoke grabbing your elbow and slowing you as you opened the door, you froze he sounded so sad and tired and your heart ached whenever you heard him like that all you wanted to do was turn around and hold him in your arms. You closed the door and turned around and faced him.

“Why don’t you talk to me?” You asked trying not to sound desperate and frustrated.

“Talk to you about what?” He asked he sounded genuinely confused, for a genius he really could be an idiot at times.

“About Emily, about how her loss has affected you. I’m right here, why do you go to JJ and not me” you say with tears in your eyes. You had stood there waiting for his answer for what felt like an eternity…

He never answered your question he had just stood there looking at you as you shook your head and left his apartment saying you’d see him in the morning in a defeated tone. A week later Spencer had broken up with you, he hadn’t given you a proper excuse. All he had said was that it wasn’t working anymore and that you just didn’t understand his friendship with JJ. It had been awkward at first for you, but for Spencer, it was as if nothing had ever happened between the two of you he completely ignored your existence unless you were paired together on a case, which didn’t happen often as you would work with Rossi most of the time. But when the team downsized this was harder to do. You spent most of your time out of the office with Penelope who had taken in Emily’s cat.

“Y/N? You ok?” Garcia asked pulling you from your thoughts.

“Why wouldn’t I be Pen? Emily is alive” you said

“You’ve been staring at that paper for ages,” she said pointing to the document in front of you a list of names Doyle had given Emily. A list of names of people who Declan’s mum, Chole and McDermott might give Declan to for money. The next question was where would McDermott and Chole escape and how. You hoped Emily would be able to get the information out of Doyle.

“Right, I think I’m going to get a coffee to try and wake up a bit.” You said shaking your head and yawning “maybe the caffeine will help”. You entered the small kitchenette and saw Spencer pouring himself a mug of coffee. Even though it had been months since he had broken up with you your heart still leapt out of your chest whenever you saw him.

“There enough for one more cup?” You asked slowly walking over and grabbing a mug from the cupboard.

“Uhh… yeah here,” he said handing you the pot.

“Thanks,” you said taking it from him.

“So…” he started

“Did you know?” You asked putting the coffee pot down after filling up your mug.

“That Emily was alive? No” he interrupted

“No.. not that. Your face when she walked it made it pretty obvious that you didn’t. No I was wondering if you knew Morgan never stopped looking for Doyle and Declan” you asked opening the fridge to get some milk.

“Ohh… that. No I had no idea” he said handing you some caramel syrup that you always put in your coffee.

“How.. how have you been?” He asked nervously

“Don’t act like you suddenly care Spencer. It’s hurtful. And you are many things and hurtful is not one of them.” You reply putting the caramel syrup back.

“I do care,” he said

“Right, well you have a funny way of showing it.” You spoke a little harsher than you had intended but with the stress of the case, you didn’t care. Just then Emily came in.

“We have a lead.” Emily said.

“You’ve found where Chole is headed?” Reid asked.

“Possibly but we need to move fast. Meet down in the garage as soon as you can we are going to the airfield” Emily said leaving the two of you alone again.

Nodding your head you put your coffee mug down and began heading out of the kitchenette. Spencer grabbed your elbow.

“What!?” You snapped

“Can we talk?”

“Now? Are you serious? A kid is missing and there are at least two murderers on the run. And you think now is a good time to talk?” You speak just above a whisper

“I meant after… after we save Declan and catch Chole and McDermott. Can we talk then?” He said staring into your eyes.

“Fine. But you’re buying the coffee” you said.

“Deal,” he said letting go of your arm.

REID POV

They had just left the meeting in front of the Senate Committee to answer questions about Doyle and everyone was heading home. He was standing at the bottom of the steps outside of the building waiting for her. She was talking to Penelope about something, the light breeze causing the skirt of her dress to dance in the wind a little. He was watching her laugh at something, he missed being the one to make her laugh. He missed their late-night talks about shows, movies and books. He missed everything about her.

“Why did you break up with her Reid?” Emily said coming from his side.

“Huh?” He shook his head turning to face her.

“Y/n. I asked her what was going on between the two of you after Doyle. She said that you guys had broken up. I asked her why and she said to ask you because you were the one to end it.”

“Oh. She told you that?” He said looking back up at her and Penelope.

“Yeah, Reid look the two of you… you’re perfect together. I’ve never seen two people be a better fit, you complete each other. I just don’t understand what happened” Emily said.

“You died Em. And then she almost got shot on a case a month afterwards. Everything got too real.” Reid said

“And you broke up with her because… you didn’t want to get hurt” Emily

“Yeah.. something like that. I’ve been trying to figure out for months how to talk to her. And with you coming back. I figured now or never because…”

“It’s better to try than ponder what could have been. And what better excuse to use than the fact that someone coming back from the dead?” Emily finished for him

“Yeah.. we’re going for coffee. I just hope she will hear me out” Reid said as he saw y/n and Penelope say their goodbyes.

“I’ll leave you to it, Reid. Just… be gentle with her when explaining ok. And let her take her time digesting what you tell her.” Emily said as she left. I’ll wait for as long as I have to. She is worth waiting for. He thought to himself as she walked down the steps to meet with him.

“So.. you still good for that coffee and talk?” He asked

“Yeah. I stick to plans that I make. Unless something else comes up then I let the person know ahead of time” she replied. He knew exactly what she was referring to, he had missed three of their dates because he had gone to JJ’s because he was missing Emily and he didn’t know what to do. Thinking back he had not been that great of a boyfriend that last month.

“So which coffee shop did you want to got to then? There’s that nice one around the corner”

“The one with the book store attached to it?” She asked.

“Yeah… or we could go somewhere else if you want,” he said, knowing that had been one of their favourite places to go together when they had a day off.

“No… it’s ok. It’s been a while since I’ve been there” she smiled

With that, they headed over to the coffee shop. Once they got there y/n went to find them a table while he went and got their order. He found her sitting at one of the corner tables waiting for him. He took the seat across from her and handed her a mug and a pastry he had gotten for her.

“Thanks,” she said

“I wasn’t sure if you were hungry after all that questioning.” Reid said

“Like I could say no to a pain au chocolate” she smiled, it wasn’t the same one she used to give him but it was a start. “So you wanted to talk.” She said taking a sip of her drink.

“I owe you an apology and a better explanation,” Reid said. She placed her mug down and looked him in the eyes.

“Go on,” she said

“The explanation I gave you then… it was a shitty one.” He said

“That’s for sure. I just don’t understand why you couldn’t be honest with me if you weren’t happy with the relationship anymore or with me” she said looking down

“That’s … that’s not why. How could you even think that? Of course, I was happy.” He said slowly reaching for her hand and taking it in his. She pulled her hand away.

“Then why break up with me. Why leave me to deal with the grief of losing Em alone. You broke my heart. I … thought you loved me… I thought we would be together forever, Spencer.” She said

“I did it because I love you.” Spencer said

“Clearly not enough to tell me the truth. That month between Em and you breaking up with me, it felt like your were spending more time with JJ than with me. And before you say anything, I know how close the two of you are and that she is one of your closest friends. But Spencer I was your girlfriend, I thought you would at least talk to me or say that you needed to speak with other people to get through whatever it was that you were going through. But I guess I thought more of what our relationship meant than you did.” she said wiping a tear from her eye

“That’s not fair or true” Spencer replied

“Then enlighten me Spencer. Give me a real reason why you ended things. Or why only now are you wanting to talk to me. Because for months you’ve been acting like nothing ever happened between us or that I even exist.”

“I…” Spencer looked down at his mug of coffee.

“Look you’re the one that wanted to talk. So talk because if you are just going to waste my time then I’m going to leave.” She said. A few moments passed, and he heard her sigh and push her chair back to leave.

“It was easier for me… to ignore you and not acknowledge you. Because… I didn’t think I could handle being so close to you and not being with you.” Spencer said finally looking back up. She sat back down and moved the chair back to the small table. She took another sip of her drink and took a bite of her pastry.

“Ok so you ignored me because it was to difficult to be around me. But why break up with me then. Why say it wasn’t working anymore?” She asked

“Because I thought… I thought that would be a good explanation. Just enough for you not to push for more answers and possibly angry enough to not want to talk to me for a while” Spencer said looking at his untouched coffee he took a sip before continuing. “Really it was a selfish excuse. But I felt I couldn’t tell you the real reason because then …” Spencer said his voice cracking.

“Because then what?”

“You would see how weak I was or refuse to listen and stay with me”

“Spencer you are not weak.” She replied taking another bite of her pastry.

“You don’t understand”

“I’m trying to Spencer. But you are not making sense, you still haven’t actually explained why”

“I’m trying too… I just don’t know how to explain it without sounding like an idiot” He said. He saw how she closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths before returning her gaze to him, she was getting frustrated and was trying her best not to get angry and yell. He had seen her do that countless times on cases.

“Spencer, please I can’t take this anymore, the not knowing why. The questioning of everything I had ever done or said to try and figure out why you would break up with me” She said tears collecting in her eyes.

“I was scared” Reid confessed

“You were scared? Of what” she asked finishing up her drink.

“After Emily, I didn’t want to lose anyone else. It’s just that anyone who is close to me leaves, dies or gets hurt. And when you almost got shot on that case …”

“You broke up with me because you didn’t want to see me get hurt. But Spencer getting hurt is an occupational hazard with our job. You know that better than most of us”

“I know it’s not entirely rational but I just couldn’t risk loosing you.” He said looking down at his drink. She leaned forward and took his hand in hers and gave it a quick squeeze.

“Love makes us act irrationally” she smiled.

He squeezed her hand back and looked at her as she wiped the tears out of her eyes. Before she looked at her watch and frowned.

“What is it? Do you have somewhere else to be?” He asked nervously not wanting to say goodbye to her just yet when they were finally talking about everything.

“No… it’s just I hadn’t realised the time. I was planning on cooking some spaghetti bolognaise tonight and reorganise a few things. But … the reorganising can wait. But if I want to eat dinner at a decent hour I might have to head off soon.” She said looking back at him.

“You’re cooking spaghetti bolognaise tonight?” He said remembering that as one of his favourite meals she used to cook for the two of them.

“Yeah… did you… uh, want to join me? I always make too much. Unless you have other plans?” She asked biting her bottom lip nervously.

“ I would love too… I mean if that’s ok with you” he said.

“I offered Spencer. Why would I offer if I didn’t mean it. Plus this way … we can keep talking and uhh.. I don’t know figure out where we stand now?” She said nervously.

“Yeah” he nodded and they both got up and headed to her apartment

Part two will be posted in a week hopefully (depending how busy I am at work). Let me know if you would like to be added to the tag list.

#fanfic #fanfiction #criminal minds #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x reader fic #spencer reid

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hlmowrer · 4 months

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Week 43: Jesus take the wheel

Folks, I don't even know what to say. I said my life was a blur last week and the universe took that as a personal challenge.

I guess I was too on top of things, because by Tuesday night (Transfers are on Wednesday morning) I was feeling good. Then we got a call from the sisters in our district...they were in quite a state, as the assistants had just called them (AT 8:30 PM!) and told them their area was getting shut down and they both needed to vacate by like 7 AM the next morning. We had made a big dinner that took way too long to cook, and Elder Thornton was struggling to stay focused packing so between dealing with that trifecta along with the brownies I frantically made for my trainee and the bag I needed to pack for the week, I lost my sanity for a few hours before finally crashing into bed at like 11:45 PM with the lights on while my companion was still packing.

The next morning, I successfully got out the door for the transfer meet, only 15 minutes late! ...Only to discover that I had forgotten 1. my missionary name badge, 2. my suit, and 3. my food for the week. I had no intention of going back home until the end of the week, and we couldn't turn back or we would miss the transfer van. Cue panic insanity #3 of the weekend.

Once we made it to the Grand Rapids meet point, it was actually a pretty good day. I had to wait in Grand Rapids for my temporary companion for about 6 hours, so a big group of us went to enjoy Chick-fil-A together. We had a really nice time sharing stories and enjoying a preciously rare social activity, and while we were there the management of the restaurant came out to tell us how much they appreciate the work we do and offered to compensate us for our food! They weren't even members, so it was such a cool experience to connect with others over our shared love of the Savior and it was really nice to be appreciated like that.

Eventually it was time for many more goodbyes, and I set off with my temporary companion (Elder Burrill for his area, Big Rapids, MI. Elder Burrill is my new district leader as well. Our district was not expanded after the sisters got kicked out so it is now literally just me, Elder Burrill, and our two trainees. Serving in Big Rapids, even for just a few days, was awesome. Elder Burrill is an incredible missionary, and we get along great. Big Rapids is doing extremely well, and we had several very spirit filled and productive lessons with their friends even in the day and a half I was there. It also presented Elder Burrill and I the opportunity to talk about how the district should be run this transfer and to share ideas for training.

On Friday, it was time to go to Lansing. I want to take this opportunity to add that the mania of the week included constant scheduling changes that we would not be informed of until it was way too late to make reasonable preparation...there were too many instances of that to mention here so just keep that in mind as you imagine all this. We arrived a healthy 20 minutes early to mission headquarters, very excited to see the other trainers and meet our trainees. We got there at 11:40 or so. We were ushered into a holding room, and we waited. For an hour. And then another one. And then another. And then we got to go meet the trainees and have lunch with them. And then we waited to hear which trainer would be with which trainee...for ANOTHER 3 HOURS. It took so insanely long that they had our beloved President Gentile (one of our counselors in the Presidency as well as the Institute director for Michigan State University) come in and do an off the cuff Institute class with us. As all of this was going on, I talked myself hoarse getting to know the other people there. One of the new missionaries I ended up talking to for quite a bit longer than the others...lo and behold, when President Peckham finally made the assignments he was mine. Elder Baird is his name, and he's already doing great. He's here for the right reasons, and I trust him. It's a great blessing, because friends, the crazy did not stop after I left Lansing with him. On the way home it was pitch black and it started snowing very abruptly...abruptly enough for me to not notice that the road was plastered in ice until it was time to slow down for a turn...and for me to discover that my brakes were almost useless. We almost wiped out twice before making it back, and a little miracle was had after we said a prayer for safety...the snow almost immediately stopped and we had 300% better traction the rest of the way home.

As for how things are going now, it's a lot. Leading the area as a trainer is stressful, and while I have a blessedly well adjusted and competent trainee it's still a lot of stress to be the only one who can be remembering and coming up with all the things we need to do. I've been praying a lot, and the scriptures are indeed being fulfilled in that I've been given exactly enough each day to be willing to tackle another one. I'm really hoping I can get into a new rhythm soon, but until then I'm not dead in the water yet, so ...

I'm sorry that this letter is utter chaos, but I feel like that really accurately represents how things are going right now so I'm letting it fly. If I was to be more detailed this would quite literally take all day. Keeping a gratitude list still really helps, I've noticed. The idea fits nicely in with the beginning of the Christmas season too! Y'all should give it a shot.

Until next time <3

-Elder Beren Mowrer

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thetoadghoul · 3 years

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Volunteering: (Ohtani x Reader) <333 (Part - 2)

part 1!

plot: Wednesday’s game arrives which Ohtani invited you to, some bonding time before the first pitch <3 slowwwburn, long cause idk details are fun lol

Wednesday quickly arrived, made much faster by the crazy amount of work you were required to do for your ‘actual’ job. The last three days had been spent with you running around the LA area, as well as cyberspace, to serve your role as interpreter. It was hell, for more reasons than one. The biggest of all being that even though you were not in Japan at the moment, you were still required to wear a proper suit. That meant a tight navy skirt, stockings, and some blasted heels. Sexist men, long meetings, and endless paperwork aside, you enjoyed your job for the most part - but this aspect really wore on you. However, the pain in your feet wouldn't damper your excitement for tonight’s game. Today you were not actually volunteering at the Angels stadium.

The day before yesterday, when you were actually volunteering, a bashful Ohtani had tapped you on the back while you were picking up baseballs from the batting cages. When you turned around the giant man was holding out a lanyard with an attached document, marked ‘VIP Guest of Player’. It took all you had not to let your hands shake with nerves as you reached out and grabbed it gingerly.

“Uh, see you on Wednesday.” The man looked to the side awkwardly, running a hand through his hair.

“...Yeah.” You responded with a small smile, feeling stupid, but it was all you could think of.

“Well, uh, I better go...” He motioned behind his back with a lazy thumb, staring to jog backward.

You nodded quickly, rushing to go back to picking up balls before you said something super lame, or weird.

It wasn’t till you were on the way home did you take a look at the back of the stadium pass. It read ‘Guest of Shohei Ohtani’. So he had put in the request for you, that was just like him, so kind. It would be an understatement to say you weren’t excited for tomorrow.

-----

Currently, your heart was still racing, but for another reason other than a certain super cute and insanely talented baseball player. It was because it was almost three-thirty in the afternoon and you were running around your company-provided apartment, trying to get ready as fast as you could. Ippei let you know you should get there around four-thirty, by then the team would have been done warming up and starting to enjoy a pregame meal while the away team got the field to themselves. From that point onwards, pretty much everyone was free to relax in the clubhouse till just before the first pitch.

With little time to consider, not even enough time to take a shower after having just got off work, you went with an oversized red T-shirt, baggy jeans, and some cool Jordan’s. This was your go-to, and it was comfortable. You don’t have many clothes anyway, living out of a suitcase.

Right as you were about to run out of the door you remembered to grab your standard Angels cap, it had been provided to you as part of your volunteer uniform a while back, slipping it on over your tight work bun. You would let your hair down later.

All right, everything was in order, Uber scheduled, lanyard secured.

It took about half an hour to arrive at the stadium, and once it came into view, you instructed the driver to let you out in front of the ballpark entrance. It had been a long time since you got to go through the gates as a member of the audience, it actually gave you a wave of nostalgia seeing everyone in their gear, so hyped up for the game, tailing gating outside for what was probably hours.

Once you were through, you started walking through the concession stands and various other stalls, dodging around the fans that were already inside watching the warm-ups, as well as hanging out drinking and eating. There were pictures of Ohtani everywhere, people taking turns snapping pictures of each other in front of the various cutouts of him. The air was buzzing with energy, and it seemed like all for that guy. Honestly, you had worked for a couple different teams over the years, but you had never seen hype like this. It was surreal, seeing a legend in the making.

You smiled, gripping the lanyard around your neck, making your way through the stadium. Shohei was super nice to do this for you, really, you should show him your support. Maybe a quick peek in the team store would do? Plus, you deserved to spend some money on yourself. After all, this was the first time you had really been ‘out’ in the almost three months you had been in California. Your free time was either working, volunteering, video games, or sleep.

You took a couple moments in the Angel's merch shop, quietly perusing the aisles, keeping an eye out for any Ohtani-themed items. Unfortunately, there weren’t really that many, probably sold out by the fans. What was there, was way too small for you.

“Y/n, you here to watch the game?” A young voice sounded.

When you turned to see who addressed you, a familiar girl was standing there grinning.

“Hey Jordan! I didn’t know you were working tonight.” You grinned back.

Jordan worked at the store as a stock manager, she was close in age to you so the two of you often hung out. You had invited her over a couple times, both bonding over your love for crappy reality TV, beer, and of course, baseball.

“Yeah it was last minute, a girl was feeling sick and there wasn’t anyone else cept’ me.” She sighed.

“Bummer, text me if you need help?” You offered, to which she waved you off.

“Nah, you enjoy being here and NOT working.” She chuckled, walking over to organize a messy shelf.

“So, you looking for something in particular?” The girl glanced over her shoulder.

“Uh yeah, you recommend any cool Ohtani stuff? Or is there any at all... seems wiped clean in here.” You said while looking around.

“Ohtani? You here to cheer him on too then. Wanna catch his eye.” She teased.

“Don’t say it like I’m just here for my like, prince charming.” You snapped back playfully, but, maybe a little too fast.

“Aren’t you?” She pressed with an eyebrow.

“Okay, I’m leaving.” You pouted, fake walking away.

“I’m just kidding, actually, stay here for a second I might have something you’ll like.” Jordan yelled as she jogged off to the back room behind the counters.

You did as you were told and when she came back there was a large white Angels jersey in her hands.

“Ta-da!” She grinned, twisting it around to show the player’s name on the back.

“Oh, it’s in Kanji? That’s cool, I didn’t know these existed?” You questioned, running your finger over the ‘tani’ character of Ohtani.

“It’s the last one on the floor, had to grab it off the mannequin. Hope it’s not too big? It’s XL?” She questioned, passing it to you to hold.

“Nah it’s perfect, can’t you tell.” You joked holding the jersey next to you, while you showed off your oversized clothes.

“Figured it'd be fine, wanna get rung up? I’ll give you that ‘good good’ employee discount. But, don’t tell anyone.” She smiled, heading to the register, to which you nodded and jogged after her.

After you finished your purchase and waved bye to Jordan, it was time to head to the clubhouse. It was around five, so you were later than you planned but Shohei usually practiced batting in the cages a little while longer while everyone headed in. Slipping the plastic shopping bag into your purse, and ripping the tags off your new jersey, you slipped it on over your T-shirt, smoothing out the material as best you could. It felt great to finally have some real merch from the team, and part of you sort of wondered what Ohtani would think when he saw you. Hopefully, it wasn’t too much to just show up in his gear after he pretty much randomly invited you, let alone in the stadium-specific one, as you just learned from your colleague.

After you got to an employee-only doorway, you pushed on it hoping it was actually open. Ippei had also let you know via text that it would be unlocked for you. Another kindness of Shohei, not just inviting you, but making sure you had access to all the catering and AC inside the resisted area of the building. You slipped in and locked the door behind you, not wanting to encourage some intoxicated fans to follow. The hallway was empty and cool as you started making your way to the clubhouse.

You were admittedly a bit nervous by the time you got to the doors, feeling a bit awkward about strutting in as anyone other than a volunteer for the first time. Carefully you pushed open the door, making sure not to hit anybody. The room was full of chatter, some players eating, some playing cards, others watching TV on the room's monitors. You looked around for Ohtani, but he wasn’t there yet apparently. No matter, you strolled in and went for the snack area. Truthfully you hadn’t eaten since that morning, and that was just a toasted bagel. Turning your back to the rest of the room, you began filling up your plate with cocktail shrimp and grapes.

“Nice jersey.” Ippei said, coming up next to you, grabbing small sandwiches for his plate.

“Is that sarcastic?” You questioned with a smile, finishing your plate.

“Nah, I’m sure he likes it.” Ippei jerked his head to the left.

He? You leaned back to see around the man, meeting Shohei’s surprised face almost immediately. Had he been standing there the whole time? He had obviously been staring at your back, at his name, bashfully looking up to your face when you moved, blinking a couple times to clear his eyes.

“I uh, got it ten minutes ago.” You grinned awkwardly, pointing your thumb proudly at the jersey, hoping he wouldn’t think you were a weirdo.

The large player didn’t say anything, blinking more slowly this time before opting to just nod gently, with a quick “thanks for your support”, hurriedly leaning forward to start filling his plate with all kinds of foods.

—-

Once everyone had their food the three of you found a place to sit while you ate, it was at the back of the room away from the noise, and where the two usually sat before a game anyways. A small conversation started while the three of you ate calmly.

“Why... do you only have grapes, and shrimp?” Ohtani questioned suddenly, looking at your plate baffled. You looked down at it as well, pausing for a moment trying to find out what was so weird about that.

“Uh, well, it’s because... these things are... super expensive in Tokyo. It’s like a rich person food to me.” You smiled, eating a couple shrimps happily.

“Wow. That’s so sad.” Ippei chuckled before taking a bite of his sandwich.

Shohei on the other hand burst out laughing at your response, making you laugh a bit too at your pitiful confession.

“Seriously, I feel like a mega-rich, and very posh, Ginza lady right now - eating nothing but shrimp and fruit. So fancy right? ” You exclaimed, popping a grape in your mouth.

The Japanese player laughed even harder, tears building up as he wiped his eyes.

“Those people wouldn’t touch that stuff with a three-meter stick.” Ippei stated, letting out a small laugh.

“Just let me have my moment.” You pouted through a smile, shoving more shrimp in your mouth.

The other man calmed down finally and was now sitting there smiling while he ate.

“So, fancy y/n, are you okay to sit in the dugout tonight. Not too unrefined for you?” Ippei questioned with a smirk.

“That’s, allowed?” You asked, surprised.

“Yeah, if you want to. Can’t stay there the whole time, but.” The man responded nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders.

“It’s the best place to hear, ‘the surprise’.” Shohei added, food in the process of being shoved in his mouth.

“Well, doesn’t seem like there’s any other option.” You smiled at the player, who nodded in acknowledgment.

“He’s batting first tonight, you won’t have to wait long.” Ippei spoke, starting on the next sandwich.

“Hope me being in there won’t be bad luck.” You joked.

“You believe in that?” Ippei smirked.

“My family ingrained it into me, wasn’t allowed to watch a single super bowl game in the living room till I literally moved out.” You frowned, stabbing a grape.

“Harsh.” The man smirked with a small laugh under his breath.

“You will be good luck, for sure.” Shohei leaned forward in a hunch to take another bite of food, smiling sincerely at you as he looked up from his food.

“Then, I will see to it that will become a very good omen. Please believe in me.” You responded in the highest form of keigo you knew, bowing rigidly from your seat for comedic effect. Since you never studied that level of grammar, it was really freaking bad, causing the two men to laugh again.

“You’re funny.” Ippei chuckled.

“Yeah, and your Japanese is so good though?” Shohei exclaimed, eyebrows raised, eyes wide.

“Nah it’s pretty bad, I fell off the study wagon a long time ago.” You laughed awkwardly, waving a hand in front of your face.

“You’d be there forever if you stayed on.” Ippei chuckled again, while Shohei nodded in sullen agreement.

“Writing would be nice though, having to look up every other kanji at the doctor's office, or like city hall makes me literally sweat, like, a lot. Buckets. But when I look around, I'm the only one.” You giggled.

“You’re so honest.” Shohei chuckled, wiping his mouth with a napkin, still leaning forward in his chair, you grinned back at him. Your eyes locked for a while, you had never noticed, but his eyelashes were sort of long.

At that moment Ippei had to take a call, letting the two of you know he’d be back in a bit, walking off. The two of you looked away and finished eating in silence.

When you looked up from your empty plate, the large player was now staring at you with a soft expression. The warmth in his eyes made you blush, he didn’t even break his gaze once he was caught like he usually did. You responded back to him simply with a shy smile, before being the one to avert your own eyes to the floor again.

Thankfully at that moment, a group of Angels came over, slapping the Japanese man on the back, starting up a conversion. They were going over strategies for the game and overall just getting hyped up. You didn’t have much to input, so you just kind of sat there enjoying the excited chatter. Shohei smiled merrily the whole time, inserting little jokes, completely affected by their excitement. The way he carried himself really reminded you that the essence of baseball was really just about having fun with your teammates and giving it your all. He looked simply happy to be there, and it made you smile too, just watching him goof off. It was charming to see his duality of being a just big kid with endless laugher, versus the super-serious, and seasoned player he was on the mound.

You were really trying hard not to but, you were rapidly developing feelings for Shohei. The last three months of volunteering here, you of course thought he was really cute and kind, classic boyfriend material. A simple crush, like many of the girls working around him, surely had as well. However the possibility of you two actually dating had always been a foreign concept, one which stopped you from even considering it, at all, you just didn’t know if you even could. With you both traveling for work, how would there be time? Plus, what about the media? His family? Yours? All those things seemed unscalable walls, that is, until this moment, when you could feel his gentle eyes on you once again.

Maybe, there was something? Or maybe, he was just a super nice guy, and you were treated no different than anyone else.

When you snapped out of your thoughts, Shohei was starting to stand up, grabbing everyone’s empties plates. He reached his hand towards you, asking for the one in your hand with a tiny nod of his head, to which you thanked him, stood up, and handed it over.

Well.

Either way, you were so screwed.

-------

Hope you enjoyed! <3

#大谷翔平 #ohtani shohei #shohei ohtani #ohtani shohei imagines #shohei ohtani imagines #ohtani imagines #ohtani x reader #ohtani #ohtani angels

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seokjinsonlyone · 3 years

Text

Not My Type | 3

pairing: jungkook x female reader

summary: "She's a lot more than nice, so you need to be careful."

genre: friends to lovers

warnings: none; jimin here tho being flirty and stirring the pot <3333

rating: pg

wc: 1.7k

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

Jungkook’s newfound hobby was driving her crazy. One too many times had their little lunch rendezvous made its way into her mind in the past week. The way he sniffed her hair oddly enough was a recurring playback. She had a thing for weirdos and Jungkook could definitely be classified as that. And, that was exactly why she needed to shut this whole thing down.

Now, she considered herself a progressive individual. She didn’t mind change as long as it was for the better. She didn’t have a problem evolving her relationship with a friend. In fact, she preferred it. Always said that if she was gonna get into it, she wanted to be with a friend. But, this particular friendship wasn’t the one. It wouldn’t make sense. There was no way it could possibly be better.

They were like oil and water. They didn’t mix. Which was fine as a friendship, they could peacefully coexist. Anything more than that, however, would be an unnecessary burden. And, her life didn’t need to be anymore difficult than it already was. She wanted an easy love. It was this line of reasoning that carried her straight to her best friend’s house.

“You need to talk to your friend,” she announced, waltzing into Jimin’s home, throwing her purse on the couch before finding him sitting at the island eating cereal.

He looked up. “I’ve already told you should just ask Taemin out. He’ll most likely say yes. He thinks you’re hot. Stop trying to get me to create scenarios.”

“And, I’ve already told you I refuse to pursue a man. No matter how dreamy and evil he is,” she sighed.

In all honesty, she probably would’ve gone for it if it weren’t for the fact that she could tell he wasn’t really into her. Not in the way she would’ve liked for him to be into her. He flirted with her in person (and in her dms), held her in a way that made her stomach jump after a few drinks, but ultimately his goal was a few nights in the sheets. And, that just wasn’t her thing. She didn’t do casual. Didn’t like to invite people into her life that weren’t going to stay. So even though she thought they could be good together, she was deciding to let this one go. If he couldn’t see what was right in front of him that was on him.

“You’re gonna end up alone.”

“You must realize that I am my favorite person.” He rolled his eyes. “Anyway, I wasn’t talking about him. I was talking about Jungkook.”

“What he do?”

“He’s been acting weird ever since last week.”

“What happened last week?”

She sucked her teeth. “You know, when we were all here?”

He narrowed his eyes at her, pupils shifting from side to side, visibly racking his brain trying to recall what happened at his place last week. “Oh! Wednesday! I was so drunk, bro. What happened?”

“Ugh. You don’t remember asking me to rank all of y’all from most to least my type?” Typical Jimin. Cause trouble then dip.

“What’d you rank me?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“I ain’t doing this again.”

He dropped his legs from the footrest of the barstool, tugging her closer and wrapping an arm around her waist. “Mmm. You couldn’t handle me either way.”

She’s not gonna lie, her heart skipped a beat. But, that’s the only reason he did it in the first place. He knew it flustered her on some level. So, she decided to play along for once, bringing her hand up to toy with the hair that rested at the back of his neck. “Baby boy, I could make you cry,” she whispered seductively.

He made a face, then pushed her away turning his attention back to his cereal. “You’re gross.”

“You started it,” she accused, laughter bubbling up at his reaction. He was CEO of “Do as I say, not as I do.” Always in the mood to dish it out, but hardly able to take it in return.

“So, what’s going on? Why do I need to talk to him?”

“Because I told him he wasn’t my type, and now he’s trying to convince me that he is.”

He choked. “What?”

“He literally showed up at my work the other day and brought me lunch.”

“That was more so directed at you saying Jungkook isn’t your type.”

“He’s not.” He raised his eyebrows, smirking conspiratorially. “He isn’t,” she insisted.

“So, you didn’t used to drool over him when you two first met?”

“See why you gotta go and bring up the past.” She wouldn’t say that she had a full blown crush on him, she didn’t know him and therefore couldn’t actually like him, but for a minute she was down bad. She wasn’t expecting to meet him when she did. Jimin had wanted to hang out and asked for a ride. He was with Jungkook when she picked him up and she was effectively caught off guard. Before she even realized what she was doing, she was out of the car and shaking hands with him in greeting. The next few weeks were spent trying her hardest to be in his presence. She never said more than two words to the boy, but yeah she was down bad. Once her hormones subsided, though, they eventually developed a friendship. A friendship that needed to stay a friendship. “Besides, I never said he wasn’t hot. I’m saying our personalities don’t match up. It wouldn’t work.”

“You aren’t that different from each other.”

“Yeah, but we’re wrong in just the right ways. It wouldn’t work.” He was right in saying that weren’t all that dissimilar, but it was because of that that she was sure starting any kind of relationship with romantic intent would go up in flames. The two were like parallel lines. Never meant to cross. Adjacent, but never intersecting. As they should.

“It sounds to me like you’re just afraid of what could happen.”

“Hold on there partner. I didn’t come here to be lectured or psychoanalyzed. I don’t even think he likes me for real, but he’s heading down a slippery slope. I just want you to talk to him before he goes and starts something that’s gonna get his feelings hurt, alright?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll see what I can do.” One thing about Jimin was that he was nosy. Had absolutely zero qualms about getting all up in other people’s business. Knowledge equals power is what he always told himself. So, if she hadn’t come to him voluntarily offering up this information, he would’ve picked up on it sooner or later, inserting himself in the middle of it all. As it stands, he’s been giving explicit permission to do some digging. All he has to do is wait for the opportunity to arise.

The opportunity came a few days later. Jungkook was sitting on his couch, phone in hand, completely zoned out when Jimin pounced.

“So... Y/N?”

Jungkook startled at the mention of her name. It wasn’t like he was just thinking about her. He definitely wasn’t about to text her. He hadn’t spent the past minutes in a daze typing, deleting, and retyping messages to send. Nope. “Huh?”

“Y/N? What’s going on with you and her?” Jimin asked again.

“What do you mean? Nothing’s going on,” he feigned innocence, voice raising an octave. Even though, for all intents and purposes, there really wasn’t anything going on.

He looked him up and down, raising an eyebrow. “That’s not what she said.”

“What did she say?” She talked about him?

“You tell me.” He smirked sitting down, crossing one leg over the other like some kind of therapist.

“I don’t know. We had lunch,” he mumbled.

“Why?”

“Because I thought she might be hungry.”

“And this has nothing to do with the fact that she said you’re not her type?”

He blew raspberries into the air. He couldn’t lie to Jimin even if he tried. The man always managed to see right through him. A consequence of nearly ten years of friendship. “I’m just trying to get to know her better,” he insisted.

“Why?”

“Because she’s nice.” Which wasn’t the complete truth, but if he admitted that he thought she had stars in her eyes he’d never hear the end of it.

“She’s a lot more than nice, so you need to be careful.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that she’s one of the best people I know, but she’s stubborn and once she has an idea in her head it’s very hard for her to let go.”

“So you think I should stop?”

“I think you shouldn’t go into this blind, is all I’m saying. Whatever you’re doing, probably won’t be easy. And, I don’t want you to get hurt. Or hurt her. What do you plan on doing if you manage to make her like you? If you’re not serious then I think you should stop.” Jimin patted his shoulder, then got up leaving him to his thoughts.

Jungkook heard what he was saying. He did. And, he was right. He hadn’t been thinking too hard about what he was doing. Honestly, he was just following the skip in his heartbeat and so far that led him to her. There was a very real possibility of him getting his feelings hurt. She was very strong willed. Couldn’t budge her mind with a bulldozer. So, if she was dead set on being against this, there wasn’t much he could do anyway.

Still, this wasn’t something he could let go of easily. He had no intentions of hurting her. It wasn’t just some conquest for him. That much he was sure of. He would hate to get closer to her, have her catch feelings for him, then dip because he wasn’t feeling it. But, he seriously doubted that would happen. It’s not like they were complete strangers. He was just seeing her in a new light now. And as much as he didn’t want anyone to get hurt, at this point he didn’t know if this was something he should even avoid. It didn’t seem like it.

Truthfully, he didn’t feel this way often. This pull he now felt toward her. He was usually much too caught up in trying to be the best version of himself he could be to entertain thoughts of others. However, right now she had his attention and he didn’t want to look away. He opened his text thread with her typing and finally sending a message before he could overthink it.

[10:53pm] jk: lunch tomorrow?

#bts fic #bts fluff #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts x reader #jungkook x reader #jungkook fic #jungkook fluff #jungkook drabble #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook fic #jeon jungkook drabble #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fanfiction

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yeetwinchester2 · 3 years

Text

The Son He Never Got...

Pairing: Steve Rogers x daughter!reader, Bucky Barnes x Rogers!reader (platonic), Peter is there but no real relationship between the reader and him.

Warnings: abandonment-ish??, ✨daddy issues✨, angst, more angst, thoughts of not being good enough, blah blah blah, I think you get it. steve's not really the good guy here. Bucky fluff

Requested: yes/no "Prompts 1, 2, 13 and 14 with Steve Rogers x daughter!reader" #1: "Why would you do that?” #2: “I can’t believe it...” #13: “I hate you.” #14: “Go to Hell.” I don't think I included all of the quotes that were requested... but they'll be there in the next part or two.

Summary: When a boy named Peter Parker shows up as a new recruit, Steve starts spending more time with him. The reader notices, but Steve doesn’t. Bucky is helpful :)

A/N: Thank you for the request!! This is (maybe) the second request that I’ve actually completed :) I hope it's alright!!

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

Turning off your alarm, you get out of bed and get dressed for school. Today you were supposed to have a father-daughter date with your dad after school. You decided to wear a plain black flowy shirt, a pair of skinny jeans, and your white Doc Martens.

Throwing you backpack over your shoulder, you head down to the kitchen to get some breakfast and tell everyone good morning before you leave for school. "Mornin' everybody! Hey, dad. Did you pick out where we're going today?" you say with a toothy smile.

"Hey, sweetheart. What're we going out for, again?" he sounded confused, but you just ignored it.

"For our father-daughter date, dummy." you said, jokingly punching his arm. Not that it'd hurt him. He's a super soldier for crying out loud.

"Oh, yeah. About that... We're gonna have to reschedule our dinner tonight, hun. We can do it another night. The team and I are going to meet the new recruit tonight. You should meet him too!" he was rubbing the back of his neck, hoping that you wouldn't be too upset.

"But we've always had our dates on the first Friday of every month. We can't just skip this month!" He's not seriously going to reschedule dinner because of a new recruit... he wouldn't do that to you, right?

"I know, I know. Can we please just have dinner another night? This new recruit could be some serious help for the team."

"Yeah, okay. Whatever. I've got to get to school. I'll see ya when I get back." He's seriously gonna choose the recruit over me, his own daughter? No, maybe it's just more important than I realize.

---------------

"Y/n, its probably nothing. Maybe he just needs to talk to some new people. Being stuck in ice for 70 years and all, he doesn't have many friends," your friend, Milo, tries to reason.

"The recruit is my age. He's a highs schooler. My dad isn't gonna make friends with some high schooler. I don't know. I guess we'll just wait and see." It's nothing, he needs to get to know the recruit anyways...

---------------

After a long and tiring day at school, you get home to see you dad and the new recruit going over what you're guessing is paper work.

"Hey, dad. Hey, new recruit. It's nice to meet you, I'm y/n." you say, holding a hand out for him to shake.

"I'm Parker Peter. I-i-i mean, Peter Parker." he says with a wide smile. You can see his cheeks become a little more red.

"Well, it's nice to meet you Peter. How long do you think you'll be staying tonight? I can't have you stealing my dad from me already!" you say, jokingly. The three of you let out a short laugh.

"I'm not sure. I guess I'll leave once I've gotten the tour and we've gone through all of the paper work." Peter says. Why does he need a tour? He's only here to train, right?

"Sounds good! I'll be in my room if y'all need anything." you say, adding a fake smile. Turning around, you head to your room. The rest of the night, you do nothing but homework, completely forgetting about Peter.

---------------

The next few days consisted of the same exact thing. You'd eat breakfast, go to school, come home and greet your dad and Peter, and go do homework. Had your dad asked you how your day was during the few days? Not once. Had he asked Peter how his day was? Yep. Did your dad ask if you needed help with homework? Nope. Did he ask Peter? Of course he did. Every day. I can't believe it... Is my dad replacing me with Peter? No, he's just helping him out, right? Right.

The next day was Wednesday, which meant you got to workout with your dad and Peter. 'Oh boy. I get to train with two abnormally strong superheros. Yay.' you thought sarcasticly. You went about your day as you usually do. On the way home from school, you texted your dad to let him know you might be a little late because of traffic. You When you got home, you changed into workout leggings and a sports bra, and headed to the gym where you usually meet your dad for workouts. You then realized that your dad hadn't texted you back. When you walk into the gym, you figured out why. Him and Peter were already halfway through the workout that y'all were supposed to be doing together.

At this point, you're starting to realize that your dad is actually replacing you with Peter. Peter's like the son he never got. He's been pushing you and the plans you've made to the side. He's been making Peter his priority.

Walking up to the two sweaty guys, tapping them on the shoulders to get their attention. "Peter, I hate you. No offense though. It's not your fault. Dad, can I talk to you? In private, please?" You do hate Peter, but not because he did anything wrong. He didn't. He's a real good kid. But he's you dad's favorite now. He replaced you, but he didn't know it. So, by default, you hate Peter.

"Hey! Don't talk to Peter like that! He didn't do anything wrong. You can't just walk in here and tell him you hate him. That's not how it works," he practically yells. Your dad never yells at you. The harsh reaction cause tears to swell up in your eyes.

"Dad. I need to talk to you. In private. Away from Peter."

"It can wait. Let us finish what we were doing. Then, we can talk. Got it?" he said sternly.

"Yes sir." you say, holding back tears that you knew would fall as soon as you turn around. And you were right. As soon as you turned around to go to your room, the tears fell, and they wouldn't stop. It only got worse when you got to your room. Forgetting to ask F.R.I.D.A.Y. to soundproof your room, you continue sobbing, yelling every now and again. Bucky, in the room next to yours, heard your crying.

Bucky was always there for you. He had been since the day he met you. His face when he found out Steve, THE Steven Grant Rogers, had a daughter. You and him have been close ever since. He's more like a best friend than an uncle if you're being honest. You go to him for everything. Well, almost anything. You hadn't told him about what was going on with you and your dad. You knew he'd be pissed about how your dad was treating you and go argue with him about it. You didn't want to make a big deal of it or anything at first, in case it was nothing.

Bucky, hearing you crying, run out of his room and to your door, softly knocking on it. "Y/n? Hun? Can you please let me in? It's Bucky."

You slowly stand up and walk towards the door, opening it. Looking up at him, with red eyes and mascara running down your checks, you move back to the bed. Bucky closes the door and sits next to you. "You wanna talk about it?" That's always the first question either if you ask when one of you is in this kinda situation.

"I don't know. I don't know, Buck." You lean into his shoulder, crying again.

"That's okay. Take your time, y/n/n. I'll be right back." he says, standing up from the bed. You see him walk into your bathroom, knowing exactly what he's doing. The two of you have a good routine for these kinda nights. It's usually always the same, but it works. When you're crying like you are now, you get horrible headaches. So, Bucky will always get you some ibuprofen and water to help. When he gets back from the bathroom, he hands you a two small pills and a glass a water. Without a second thought, you swallow the pills and some of the water. You thank him and set the glass on your nightstand. Pulling the covers up over your shoulders, you lay back down.

"Thank you.."

"Mhm. Are you gonna sleep first? Or talk? You know we're gonna talk about it at some point."

"I know, I know. Can I sleep right now? We can talk about it another time. I'm exhausted."

"Yeah, of course. But you're not getting out of it, and I'm not giving you the whole 'Its not healthy to keep it all in' lecture. You've heard it enough, so have I."

"Thanks. Mucho appreciated, old man."

"No problem, kiddo. Get some rest, we'll talk tomorrow. 'Night, sweetheart."

"Night, Buck."

---------------

A/N: Cool. This is part one of this. Yes, I will (eventually) finish part two of Excuses. I have no idea when, but eventually. Same goes for part two of this one. But I really like this first part, so I think it'll continue. Thoughts? I hope y'all like it :))

#steve x daughter!reader #steve x daughter #steve x reader #steve rogers #marvel x reader #marvel #peter parker #peter parker x reader #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky fic #fanfiction

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drowningbydegrees · 3 years

Text

Something Ordinary - Part 1

This is my Novigrad Exchange gift for @aalizazareth who asked for fluff, road trip, or hurt/comfort, and I figured how about all of them? I hope this delivers!

A huge thank you to @goodheavensgwen for betaing, but also for all the brainstorming and cheerleading along the way. This fic is so much better for having your input. <3

It’s in the same verse as Noonwraiths and Other Woodland Forest Creatures, but it’s not necessary to read that to understand this one. Not, this is largely fluffy and ridiculous, but there’s some canon typical mention of blood and injury.

Read on AO3

Ordinary people don’t… date witchers. Granted, Geralt has been coming to the diner where Jaskier works for the last year and a half, just about. Twenty-one months, but who’s counting? It isn’t a precisely educational experience, but between the pancakes and mediocre coffee he’s come to realize that Jaskier is anything but ordinary.

Geralt had never meant to do anything with that information. If he sometimes goes out of his way to stop in between contracts, it’s no one’s business but his own. It’s just nice to have one place he can go where someone is genuinely happy to see him. And alright, Jaskier is more alluring than he has any right to be. And perhaps Geralt spends his visits wordlessly nursing a cup of coffee just to have an excuse to listen to Jaskier chatter on about nothing in particular a while longer.

Well, he did, anyway. Things are different in the months since they exchanged numbers after Geralt stumbled in half dead after a contract. Jaskier’s conversation demands more participation, his smiles are more intentional. And though Geralt would like to think he put up at least a token resistance over these last few months (in which he has received what he’s sure are more text messages than his entire life before), somehow Jaskier has pulled Geralt right along with him.

The point is, Geralt doesn’t do this. He doesn’t let himself get attached to people. He doesn’t give himself a reason to maybe stay in one place a little more. He definitely doesn’t go for coffee shop dates. The fact that their current circumstances started with an attempt to do exactly that is completely coincidental.

Wednesday

2:15 p.m.

Like many things in Geralt’s life, things go sideways before they even start. They don’t even make it inside the coffee shop before his phone rings, and given the only person who calls him for frivolous reasons is right next to him, it’s probably important. All of which is why Geralt had to cancel and is pulling into the gas station before a six hour trip to Oreton.

He’s still not sure how Jaskier got here, though. It’s a bewildering leap from a coffee date to committing to hours in an enclosed space together, but by the time Geralt wraps his head around that Jaskier is already in the passenger seat.

“I’ll get snacks,” Jaskier offers, already opening the car door. “Do you want anything?”

Geralt motions to a box in the back seat. “I’m good.”

“Are those granola bars?” Jaskier makes a comically disapproving noise, sliding out of his seat. He leans over enough to poke his head back in. “Do you know who thinks granola bars count as road trip snacks? My grandma.”

“What’s wrong with…” Geralt starts, but Jaskier is already gone.

To Jaskier’s credit, he’s emerging from the gas station once more by the time the gas tank is full. Well, Jaskier along with a bag of what looks like more candy than someone could eat in a week and the two cups he’s juggling.

“I promised you coffee! I can’t guarantee it’s good coffee, mind you, but it is coffee,” Jaskier explains before Geralt can ask, circling the car to press a cup into the witcher’s hands.

He doesn’t do this, and supposes he could be mistaken, but Geralt is pretty certain the coffee isn’t actually the operant word in ‘coffee date.’ Still, it’s… it’s something he doesn’t quite know what to do with. Jaskier has always been friendly, but he’s taken up doing all sorts of things as of late that can’t be chalked up to it being his job, and they never seem to leave Geralt any less unmoored than he feels right now, staring at the paper cup aggressively warming the palms of his hands.

“It’s for drinking,” Jaskier prompts, and as silly as it is, the whole thing only gets more absurd. Because the glare Geralt responds with is normally enough to make people shy away, but Jaskier doesn’t even have the decency to pretend to be alarmed. He laughs, soft and lilting in a way Geralt never wants to let go of, like there’s nothing strange about any of this. Like the two of them are made for these ordinary things Geralt has never given himself the space to want.

But Jaskier has never been ordinary.

3:07 p.m.

He’s made a terrible miscalculation in this plan, Jaskier privately acknowledges about thirty miles from home. This plan. The one that was definitely an actual plan and not just an impulsive desire to go on an adventure and see Geralt in action. Does it count as a plan if he invents a purpose? Maybe he’ll write a song about it. The subject matter is a little niche, but that’s half the appeal.

The other half of the appeal is the man sitting in the driver’s seat, silently watching the nearly empty highway stretch out in front of them. He’s always pretty, but working third shift Jaskier has never really gotten to see Geralt like this, drenched in sunlight that softens his features and mutes the slight frown that seems to own permanent real estate on his face. It’s haunting, the way it lights up Geralt’s silvery white hair, like some particularly attractive ghost.

Therein lies the miscalculation, because the thing is, Geralt is no different than any other time Jaskier has been around him, which is about as talkative as the pet rock he had when he was six. Normally, that’s fine. Geralt tolerates Jaskier’s chatter at the diner. And since it’s Jaskier’s job, he usually only wanders to Geralt’s table for minutes at a time. But there are no places to wander off to in the passenger seat of Geralt’s car, and he’s barely gotten three words out of the witcher since the gas station.

“So, what are we hunting?” he tries, because it’s the one topic he’s seen loosen Geralt’s tongue. A lot, actually. He doesn’t remember even half of what Geralt tells him, but it’s terribly endearing all the same. Even if it leaves him longing to know more about what else Geralt cares about.

“I am hunting a leshen. You are staying in the car,” Geralt replies without so much as a glance his way. If he notices Jaskier’s exasperated sigh, he gives no indication.

“I… remember you mentioning those, I think,” Jaskier focuses on the leshen because it was very definitely on the list of things Geralt told him about the first night he successfully got the witcher to have anything resembling a conversation. He resolutely ignores all the words Geralt just said around that. If he doesn’t lie and say he’ll stay put, then he won’t be lying when he inevitably does not do that. Sheepishly, he ducks his head. “In my defense, there was kind of a lot going on that night. Maybe tell me again?”

That earns Jaskier a smile, however small and brief it is. It’s a win as far as Jaskier is concerned. Now if he could just wrangle a conversation.

“Tall. Sort of humanoid. Covered in branches.” Geralt says nothing else until Jaskier clears his throat, trying to prompt the witcher to give him something at least. “They have antlers.”

“Very informative,” Jaskier chides, shaking his head. He supposes he should have known better than to assume this would work. “Anything else?”

“They live in the forest.” Jaskier is so surprised to actually get an answer, he almost misses the way the corner of Geralt’s mouth twitches upward. “You know, like noonwraiths.”

Jaskier gasps, holding a hand up to his chest as if in shock. “Was that… I’m sorry. Was that a joke I just heard?”

It’s been a ridiculous joke between them for a while now, but it hits differently this time. It’s always silly, but for the first time it sinks in that it’s theirs. They have A Thing, and it leaves Jaskier all but vibrating to realize because that’s… well, that’s significant. It feels significant at any rate.

“You were serious about the woods though, right?” Jaskier asks once he remembers they were in the middle of a conversation.

“I was serious about the woods.”

Jaskier cocks his head to the side, trying to make sense of that. “Then, how is it an emergency?”

“This one was in someone’s yard,” Geralt clarifies. As much as Jaskier would like to be annoyed by the brevity, he has to admit that that actually more or less clears it up.

Jaskier tries to imagine this tree branch antler person… thing creeping over the fence of some poor, unsuspecting homeowner like a nosy neighbor. It’s a mistake, because Jaskier doesn’t know the shape in which those descriptors fit together, so it’s much more comical than frightening. He tries and fails to stifle an amused huff of laughter, but of course that would be the thing that finally gets Geralt to look at him for a second.

“Sorry, I…” Jaskier pauses, not sure he can actually explain why that’s funny since Geralt has the benefit of knowing how all his sparse descriptors fit together. “So, what are you going to do? Bribe it to go home?”

“Not this time. They’re intelligent, but you can’t reason with them. Most creatures kill because they feel threatened or to survive. Leshens are hostile. Always.” The explanation makes sense. It doesn’t sound like there’s any way around killing the creature, but Jaskier knows he isn’t imagining the sadness clouding Geralt’s features.

He has no idea how someone could possibly meet Geralt, who never takes a life if he can save it, who spends his existence keeping people safe, who has so much compassion for even the most unlovable of things, and think witchers are anything but good. Underneath the caustic disposition he shields himself with, Geralt is kinder than most humans. It makes Jaskier yearn to coax the world into seeing what he does.

Maybe he can. There’s the beginning of an idea, but before Jaskier can follow that thread, he’s distracted by Geralt. More specifically, he’s distracted by Geralt being distracted, something finally luring the witcher’s eyes briefly from the road. So, of course Jaskier turns his head to see what could possibly be so interesting.

“Horses?” Jaskier winces when he realizes he’s asked the question out loud. It’s not really even a question. They were definitely horses, one chestnut and one gray, happily grazing along the fence containing them.

“Witchers used to travel that way,” Geralt murmurs, before Jaskier even asks a question. It’s a good tactic, giving one piece of information to steer away from Jaskier’s pursuit of another. Or it would be if Jaskier wasn’t onto him.

“Yeah. Witchers and everyone else. It’d be pretty inconvenient now though, what with all the… highways and stuff. So, I’m not sure I’m following the significance.” Jaskier watches carefully, but Geralt’s expression betrays nothing. “Unless this is the part where you’re gonna tell me you’re three hundred years old or something.”

Geralt is conspicuously silent. Jaskier has never met someone who can express so much with the various ways he chooses to express nothing. It’s an exasperating quality, but impressive.

“Wait. You’re not actually, are you? I mean, not that that’s a problem, per se. Just that—” Jaskier pauses in the midst of his babbling when he catches Geralt turning his head away just the tiniest bit. It’s not fast enough to hide that Geralt seems to be biting the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing.

3:34 p.m.

There’s a lot of farmland out this way, miles of cornfields, sure, but animals too. Jaskier briefly entertains the notion that maybe Geralt grew up on a farm and is homesick or something. He’s a storyteller by nature, after all, and Geralt is such an enigma, surely he can’t be blamed for trying to fill in the gaps. Jaskier curiously watches Geralt when they lapse back into silence. They’re surrounded on both sides by… actually, Jaskier has no idea what those fields are. The only crop he actually recognizes is corn. But whatever it is, if Geralt has any attachment to it, his expression betrays nothing.

Jaskier is about to write his previous observation off as him reading too much into something ultimately unimportant when crops give way to a green, open meadow. It’s the kind of place Jaskier thinks looks about perfect for a picnic or laying out to watch the clouds drift by, or something. It’s also the kind of place where someone keeps a rather striking-looking horse, its coat a shade of gold just a touch warmer than Geralt’s eyes. “I’ve never seen one like that.”

“It’s a palomino,” Geralt replies, though Jaskier doesn’t think he’s actually looked that way. Either Geralt is even more subtle than Jaskier gives him credit for, or something about that merits remembering.

“The breed?” Jaskier presses. This is even more fascinating than coaxing Geralt into talking about monsters. It’s not a subject Jaskier knows a damned thing about either, but it’s an unexpected thing Geralt seems to be interested in, and that all by itself makes it worth pursuing.

“It’s not a breed.” Maybe ‘talking about’ is a little too charitable a description for the handful of words Jaskier gets Geralt to part with at any one time. That’s a puzzle too. Jaskier hasn’t quite sussed out whether Geralt actually doesn’t like talking or if it’s a side effect of the way humans tend to respond to witchers. It’s a shame either way. Jaskier quite likes listening to him.

“Okay…?” Jaskier prods. It’s only afterwards that it occurs to him that if Geralt truly isn’t interested in talking, maybe when the witcher is stuck a foot away from Jaskier and can’t extricate himself from the situation is not the right time to push the matter.

“It’s a color.” After a slight pause, Geralt adds, “Gold coat. White mane and tail.”

There’s more after, not that Jaskier can keep up with most of it. Often, even when Jaskier is actively trying to engage, all he gets from Geralt is a wordless hum or a raised eyebrow. So, the fact that there are a number of words in a row is noteworthy already. That Geralt is continuing to speak without being prompted is nothing short of a miracle. Maybe pushing wasn’t the problem so much as finding the right subject matter.

And thus, a new game is born. Whether out of some sense of dignity or something else, Geralt doesn’t actually mention when they pass by horses. It’s the very slight shift in Geralt’s body language, something Jaskier would probably say was him perking up if it were more explicit, that clues Jaskier in if he doesn’t see them himself. But the minute Jaskier mentions them, Geralt appears all too happy to talk about the precise measurement that differentiates horses and ponies (14.2 hands or less, which then becomes an extended conversation about why horses are measured in hands), the Lippizaner stallion troupe (which Jaskier will admit he would really like to see if they’re even half as impressive as Geralt suggests), and that one breed of wild horses that are maybe possibly completely divergent from domestic horses (Jaskier immediately forgets how to pronounce their name, but he does remember they sort of look like especially stocky donkeys).

“How do you know all this, anyway? I’m starting to think you should have gone to work in a stable or something instead of being a witcher,” Jaskier teases after a particularly emphatic explanation about what an utter failure Redania’s wild horse adoption program is. “I mean, it would definitely be my loss, but…”

He trails off, teasing smile immediately fading as he happens to look over at Geralt. Even when he’s happy, Geralt’s expressions tend to be a bit muted, but there’s no trace of anything like happiness now. His head is subtly bowed, like he’s ashamed of something, and that just won’t do at all. There’s nothing shameful about the details that make up a person. Before Jaskier can ask what exactly dampened the mood, Geralt softly replies, “I was going to.”

“You were?” It might be a mistake. This was meant to be fun. It’s just that Geralt so rarely gives Jaskier anything about himself, and Jaskier so desperately wants to know him. He rationalizes that if he drops the matter, Geralt will think he doesn’t care and won’t ever try again. “What happened?”

“Not important.” The words are clipped, but Jaskier has at least known Geralt long enough to differentiate between the witcher being actually irritated and any of the multitude of other emotions that make him sound irritated. This is definitely one of the latter.

“Of course it’s important if it makes you look like that.” Impulsively, Jaskier reaches out to lay a hand on Geralt’s shoulder. The way Geralt nearly jumps out of his skin is a stark reminder that he’s not quite so instinctively tactile as Jaskier is. Geralt doesn’t pull away, but he doesn’t answer either, so Jaskier only lingers briefly before pulling his hand back into his lap.

“I thought everyone was exaggerating about how things would change when they made me into this,” Geralt explains, so quiet that Jaskier has to listen carefully over the engine. It’s an aching, vulnerable thing, as human a confession as Jaskier has ever heard before Geralt’s expression abruptly shutters.

“I’m so sorry… Wait, made you?” Jaskier realizes, not for the first time, that he knows nothing about witchers. Nothing true at any rate.

But whatever strange magic had coaxed Geralt into speaking has passed, and the witcher doesn’t even acknowledge Jaskier has said anything. He longs to know more, to soothe whatever it is that hurts so much, but Jaskier has at least enough sense to realize that if he presses now, Geralt will think twice about telling him anything later. The minutes stretch out between them like taffy, the silence deafening until Jaskier absolutely cannot take it. He impulsively reaches for the radio, turning the dial until the static of a station that’s long since out of range is coming through the speakers. “So… music!”

Geralt’s lips purse in… actually Jaskier isn’t all that familiar with this particular expression yet. His default state is so grumpy, it’s hard to tell this time if he’s annoyed or uncomfortable. Neither one is what he’s going for, so he pointedly does not ask what that station is, immediately setting about adjusting until a melody cuts clearly through the hissing noise. Fic Masterpost

#geraskier #geralt x jaskier #geralt of rivia #Jaskier #the witcher #my fic #Featuring a lot of road trip shenanigans

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ey8508 · 3 years

Text

Helm

Rumors and Secrets: Victor | 李泽言

[ He always knew how to insert each screw where it should be. ]

Note:

R&S for this card (CG above)

Chapter SPOILERS up to Season 2: Chapter 14-17 (read at your own risk)

Contains 5 chapters

Translation isn’t 100% accurate (or include grammar errors)

Every part for LZ’s dialogue would be in “this setting”

Do not repost to any other site (reblog is fine)

Chapter 1 Page 1 -Caerus, there is an investigation task for you. - Target name? - Guozi is a newcomer who organized the audit. Her relevant information is in the attachment. - Once received, when do you want it? - Before next Wednesday. - with such little time, the salary has to be increased by 20%. After the dialogue on the screen was stagnant for a while, the other side only replied a word: OK. Page 2 Duan Junjie put down his phone and was about to continue to look at the acquisition contract in front of him when he was suddenly patted on the shoulder. The colleague smiled and asked him: "Lawyer Duan, our department is going to have a dinner on Sunday. Would you like to come together?" "Sorry, there is something on the weekend, I can't come." Duan Junjie shook his head. The man's face was a bit unpleased: "Last time you also said that when something happened, why didn't you stay active with everyone? Eating a meal is also a way of communicate feelings." Page 3 "Forget it, I have been in Huarui for so long, and I haven't seen lawyer Duan participate in the department team building!" The female colleague opposite Duan Junjie smiled and replied, "I would rather offend the high-level staff and never work overtime. You still want to occupy his weekend, don't even think about it." The colleague left angrily, but Duan Junjie kept his head buried in work without commenting on the evaluation of him by the people around him. At exactly six o'clock, he sent the compiled attachments of the acquisition contract to the mailbox of the president's office, ready to pack his things and get off work, when the computer suddenly received a notification. Page 4 Is President Li so optimistic about the contract? Although he knows that the person in charge of the Huarui Group is extremely efficient, the time limit is too ridiculous. He clicked on the message and found that it was an anonymous email with a bunch of garbled characters. Duan Junjie frowned. This string of garbled codes was in disorder, but he soon discovered that it was an e-mail with two layers of special encryption, and the secret key was only available to members of BLACK SWAN. After deciphering the garbled code, he found that it was a sentence and a "S" symbol with a thicker style at the end. Come to the conference room of BLACK SWAN headquarters. Page 5 Duan Junjie read this sentence silently, and frowned. The other party does not use the B.S. communication channel, but uses an anonymous IP to send it. Obviously, it wants to bypass the surveillance of some people in the organization. After the establishment of the BS board of directors, the original Twelve members did not easily surrender to the BOSS. They were secretly engaged in a few small actions, although Duan Junjie is just a crew responsible for intelligence, because of the nature of the work, someone from Twelve has either hinted or tempted him, They secretly made a few small moves. Although Duan Junjie was just a screw responsible for intelligence, because of the nature of the work, there was also TW elve. Duan Junjie refused either by suggesting or tempting him but Duan Junjie refused. And now... Duan Junjie looked at this email and realized something vaguely. Page 6 He glanced at the time, and now he is leaving to meet the sender of the email. It should be too late to get home at eight o'clock and cook cat food for Amo. Although he was mentally prepared, when he opened the door and saw the man sitting across the long table, Duan Junjie still couldn't help but blurt out: "Mr. Li" The man opposite the long table did not erect the barrier to cover his face. He wore a suit with a straight back and a calm expression, no different from sitting in the office of the president of Huarui Building. Duan Junjie paused, then changed his words, "BOSS." Page 7 Li Zeyan pushed the document in front of him, "I know that your superior has just sent you a task, push that task, and do this first". "Push it." Duan Junjie took the file, "Does it mean that I don't have to keep in contact with him again?" Li Zeyan did not speak. His silence indicates his answer. Duan Junjie fixed his glasses and read the document roughly: "When do you want it?" "Before next Wednesday. Is it difficult?" Page 8 "It's not difficult, but it will take up a lot of my rest time. And I see that this part of the document is just a lead, and the things that need to be explore later are much larger than these papers." He emphasized, "This will be a long work, BOSS." "State your salary expectations." Duan Junjie seriously considered his mortgage and car loan: "Fourteen salary." "Sixteen salary." Li Zeyan looked at him directly, "correspondingly, you have to get back information worth this value." Chapter 2 Page 1 Duan Junjie’s life is very regular. He gets up at 8 in the morning and makes a cat meal for Amo. Then he takes the subway that arrives at 8:27, leaves the station at 8:47, and walks for five minutes to Huarui building, go to the cafeteria to get an egg, two buns, and a cup of soy milk. Sometimes, according to the mood of the day, he changes it to milk, and make sure to turn on the computer at nine o'clock and start working. He is just a screw built in the Huarui Group, as long as he is firm and wedged in where he should be on time everything should be fine. It’s just that there are accidents occasionally in a regular life, such as today. Page 2 At 8:51, when Duan Junjie was about to walk to the door of Huarui building, his footsteps suddenly stopped because a fallen leaf was hanging in front of him for five seconds. An Evolver has used their ability. Duan Junjie quickly reacted. He looked around, cars, pedestrians, even the giant screen advertisements that flickered forever in the distance stopped. In the world of silence, the sound of leather shoes stepping on the ground seemed so clear. Page 3 Duan Junjie saw Li Zeyan appear from the other end of the intersection, walked calmly to the middle of the road, came straight to a car and bent down. When he got up again, there was a tabby cat in his arms. When Li Zeyan hold the cat and stepped onto the sidewalk, time began to flow again. The noise reappeared in the city in an instant, the cars and the crowd were intertwined, and no one noticed the small change just now. Li Zeyan stepped forward, suddenly as if he noticed, that he turned his head to look at Duan Junjie not far away. "Mr. Li." Duan Junjie greeted him and walked over. Page 4 Li Zeyan nodded, took the cat to a safe place and put it down. The little cat was shocked and still seemed to be reluctant to leave Li Zeyan. After stepping on Li Zeyan's hand back and forth, it turned around and jumped into the bushes of flowers. Duan Junjie looked at the back of the cat, and inexplicably thought of his own Amo: "It has a labelled ear and it is a sterile cat." "The cats in this area have been neutered." Li Zeyan replied. These two sentences have no beginning and end, but the atmosphere is calm. Duan Junjie continued: "I didn't expect you to be a cat lover." Page 5 Knowing that all the cats in this area have been neutered and willing to use EVOL to save a cat, it really does not fit Duan Junjie’s impression of Li Zeyan. "It's just a matter of effort." Li Zeyan took off the cat's fur on his cuffs. "If it is not careful, it will not be saved every time." As soon as the voice fell, a thin mist gathered in Li Zeyan's always firm eyes, and his expression became a little dumbfounded as if something had touched his mind. Page 6 Duan Junjie saw Li Zeyan with this expression for the first time, but he intuitively felt that he shouldn't ask more. So he took a step back, "Then I will go first, and the yesterday's document will be sent to you before a quarter past ten in the morning." At 8:57, Duan Junjie arrived at the Huarui cafeteria. Today he bought one less egg because he wants to save time and punch in on time.

Chapter 3 Page 1 Whether as Caerus or Lawyer Duan, he has been very busy this time. Huarui's acquisition plan has advanced to a critical stage, and the investigation of the "small syringe" has also fallen into a bottleneck. Even Duan Junjie, who has no commercial sense, knows that this kind of medicine that can enhance Evol can create huge benefits that can change the world. He once suspected that Li Zeyan’s reason for being particularly concerned about "small syringes" was the instinct of capitalists to seek profit, but if they were chasing profits, they should put this unstable pharmaceutical package on the market as soon as possible, instead of letting him investigate The "black hand" behind the shadow of the "Syringe" incident. "Lawyer Duan, we'll be going first." Page 2 "Okay, bye." Colleagues picked up their bags and said goodbye to him. When they walked to the door, they could still hear a faint sentence floating over there: "Lawyer Duan also works overtime. It's really rare." The sky gradually darkened, and the neon lights of the city outside the floor-to-ceiling windows lit up for the first time. Duan Junjie was the only one left in the huge office. No breathing could be heard in the silent environment, only the monotonous keyboard percussion sounded in the ups and downs! A sharp alarm interrupted Duan Junjie's work. He quickly opened the alarm interface and found that the source of the alarm was actually for Li Zeyan's office of the president! Page 3 "The sound pulse in the office fluctuates abnormally" Duan Junjie whispered while looking at the screen, "someone went there?" It’s not surprising that Li Zeyan would be watched. Duan Junjie was surprised that someone dared to do something in Li Zeyan’s office. He immediately sent an encrypted signal to Li Zeyan to get the other party out of the office immediately. However, after a long time, Li Zeyan on the camera still motionless. Immediately he saw a girl pushing open the door of the office, still holding some documents in her hand. The boss of Huarui Investment’s gazed at the film and television company, also a member of BLACK SWAN, Miss NOX. "That's it, there wasn't anything major?" Page 4 Seeing this scene, Duan Junjie breathed a sigh of relief. It also reflects that the time for NOX to report on official business is the anti-tracking time given to him by Li Zeyan, and he must be worthy of the sixteen salary that Li Zeyan gave him. An hour later, Duan Junjie stood in front of Li Zeyan's office and knocked on the door three times. "Come in" Duan Junjie walked in, first closed the door carefully, and operated the small anti-eavesdropping device in his hand a few times and installed it on the door. Then he turned around and said straightforwardly: "Boss, it's done." Page 5 "Tell me." "The source of the eavesdropping was traced to a tea room in Xicheng District. This is the background check of the tea room owner and the personnel he has been in close contact with recently." Duan Junjie operated a few times on his mobile phone, and the corresponding intelligence content popped up on Li Zeyan's computer. , "A few people have contact with the small syringe". The person who installed the eavesdropping has also been found. It was the cleaner who cleaned your office yesterday. According to the monitoring comparison, they were not from Huarui, but they should have sent someone in disguise. People have been arranged to go to the Dingsha Tea Room, and they can act at any time. Page 6 "Understood" Li Zeyan's tone was always faint, his expression calm, it was not like he had experienced a tense eavesdropping crisis one after another, or for this man, he had experienced countless things. Things that are unimaginable even by Duan Junjie's thoughts. More dangerous than this, more knife-pointed. The scene of life and death on the front line. He scanned the page for a few times, pressed the button, and said: "Go to the next stage." Page 7 The meaning of entering the next stage is that he does not need to care about how those eavesdroppers will be dealt with. Duan Junjie nodded knowingly: "I understand." Li Zeyan's gaze cast through the floor-to-ceiling windows, to the distant ground, as if he was talking to Duan Junjie, or he was saying to the invisible opponent: "The line has been laid long enough." Page 8 Duan Junjie lowered his head: "I will continue to report to you if there is a new situation." He turned to leave the office, and suddenly wrinkled his nose before leaving. A faintly sweet smell that he did not know where it came from, on the tip of his nose, it was like the caramel scent he would smell when he passed the dessert shop downstairs. This type of scent should not appear in Li Zeyan's office. It might be an illusion, Duan Junjie thought.

Chapter 4 Page 1 Unknowingly, it was the end of the year again. At this time, the center of the topic in the tea room of my colleagues will be more and more to rely on a lottery draw in the main link of the Huarui annual meeting. "Last year based on the report someone in the department next door got paid for a month of paid travel and wine!" "I want to pick a camera. Maybe the equipment is configured, and my photography skills will also improve." "Lawyer Duan, what prize do you want to win?" "The Sunshine Award." Duan Junjie replied. Everyone went silent. Page 2 Duan Junjie thinks this topic is meaningless, and he doesn't think he has the luck to win a lottery. Excessive surprises are often accompanied by huge risks. He is greedy for peace and stability, and does not want to give life too many twists and turns. It's better to go home and cook an extra meal for the cat when you have the time. Huarui’s annual meeting has always been very lively. In addition to the people at the headquarters, some cooperating companies will also come to socialize. The police, like the boss of the film and television company of the company, will not be absent every year. Page 3 After the last eavesdropping incident, probably out of affirmation of his work ability, Li Zeyan handed him more tasks. As a result, he came into contact with this woman who had an unusual relationship with the BOSS. Although he exchanged information online, the other party did not know his identity in reality. He glanced at the energetic girl, and then turned away, not intending to say hello to her as Huarui's lawyer. Page 4 What Duan Junjie didn't expect was that he won the second prize at this annual meeting. The moment his name appeared on the big screen, his colleagues seemed to be more excited than him. These guys who usually claim to be the elites of the law surrounded him laughing and making noise, and they said that they should be invited to share the joy, "You're from our department. Duan Junjie you finally won this year's prize! " Duan Junjie was so upset by them that he simply slipped out of the annual meeting with an excuse. He had just gotten in the car and was about to start, and suddenly two figures flashed in the corner of his eyes who shouldn’t be there at this time. Page 5 Li Zeyan and NOX walked to the garage side by side, and the two seemed to be talking about something. Duan Junjie thought it might not be an official business, because the girl’s face had the brilliant smile that she have on her age. She carried a bag of vegetables in one hand and gestured twice with the other. Li Zeyan’s eyebrows were still the same. It's cold, but there is a slight arc in the corner of his mouth, and if Duan Junjie is right, is this BS BOSS carrying a bag of cat litter in his hand? It's the same cat litter as Amo. Duan Junjie raised his eyebrows, he felt as if he had discovered something extraordinary. Page 6 So Duan Junjie asked questions unrelated to work for the first time in the work email when he went to work the next day. Why is the poster of the Huarui Annual Meeting is a Siamese? Li Zeyan quickly answered him. That is my cat, it is a Ragdoll. Chapter 5 Page 1 Affected by the public opinion of "Huarui's malicious acquisition of pharmaceutical companies", the atmosphere in the company has recently become much sluggish than before. The pantry is no longer full of laughter and gossip, but turned into quiet discussions and sighs. "When I went to drink coffee across the street today, the clerk saw my badge and said that he would not accept it. He won't even talk to me afterwards" "Hmph, he didn't accept it?, you should complain to him at that time, not only complain, but also wear a Huarui badge every day to buy as a Huarui employee, it is never a shame!" "Yes, I should do that" Page 2 Duan Junjie was stunned and stopped for a while, and the colleague in the pantry had already noticed him: "Lawyer Duan." Duan Junjie nodded at them and poured the remaining water from the glass into the sink. A female colleague smiled and greeted: "Lawyer Duan, how is Amo at home?" "It's ok, Amo has not been losing weight recently." "By the way, we have recently established a Huarui cat-related group. Lawyer Duan are interested in joining?" a female colleague asked him with a smile, "Occasionally I can see President Li's cat too, Pudding!" "Thank you, I'll think about it." Page 3 After bidding farewell to his colleagues, Duan Junjie set off for the BS building. One or two minutes before, he sent a message from the special communication channel of B.S. saying that an emergency meeting would be held. Before coming to the meeting room, he habitually knocked on the door three times, and after getting permission from Li Zeyan, he walked in. "BOSS" "The next phase of the plan can start." "Understood, I will arrange manpower." Page 4 Li Zeyan ordered him to do the next thing as usual, until a silver-haired man suddenly broke in and interrupted Duan Junjie's bargaining over the length of overtime. The two talked in private. Before the silver-haired man glanced coldly on him, Duan Junjie turned around and left the meeting room. Only doing what should be done, not listening to what should not be heard, this is the work principle he has always believed in. Page 5 Duan Junjie feels that his current life is very good. Both Huarui and BLACK SWAN are huge and sophisticated machines, requiring countless from 'attorney Duan' and 'Caerus' as screws to maintain their operation. The man at the helm who directs the operation is Li Zeyan. Screws can get stuck occasionally and can be replaced, but Li Zeyan make no mistakes, let alone replace any mistakes, the consequences are fatal once it appears. Perhaps in terms of risk, following Li Zeyan is already the biggest gamble in Duan Junjie's life. Page 6 His chips were all bet on this man, and he inexplicably believed that Li Zeyan could win, not because of the gorgeous numbers in the Huarui annual report, nor because B.S. continued to grow these crowns and glamorous surfaces under his leadership. It is because the stray cat was rescued, the brand new "small syringe" industry chain, and the badge on the chest of a colleague. The reason lies in these small things. Duan Junjie turned on the phone and opened a chat window before starting the next stage of work. "What is the cat-related group number?"

#mr love queens choice #mr love queens choice victor #mr love victor #love and producer #love and producer li zeyan #rumors and secrets Victor

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haru-luo · 3 years

Text

[CN Translation] Victor’s S2 Chapters 14-17 R&S <Steerer>(掌舵者)

!Spoiler warning! : The followings contain contents for future chapters of MLQC/Love and Producer. If you do not wish to be spoiled then please refrain from going undercut.

This is the karma that accompanies the following Rumors and Secrets. I suggest you to read S2 Summary(Volume 2:Ch 2-3), a bullet-point summary recently translated by amazing @cheri-translates to get more idea on what this “Small Syringe” thing is going on.

The translation is undercut. You have been warned about spoilers.

If you see “--” sign then it simply indicates the beginning of next page.

{STEERER}

He always knew how to embed each screw in its place.

[Chapter 1]

“Caerus, there is an investigation task for you."

"Target name?"

"MC. She is a newcomer who organized the audit. All the information needed about her is in the attachment."

"Received. When do you want it?"

"Before next Wednesday."

"This task is a bit different. My pay has to increase by 20%"

After that, the dialogue between the two was stagnant for a while before the other side only replied a small word; "okay" --- Duan JunJie put down his phone and was about to continue to look at the acquisition contract in front of him when he was suddenly patted on the shoulder.

The colleague smiled and asked him, "Lawyer Duan, our department is going to have a dinner together on Sunday. Would you like to join us?"

"Ah, sorry, I have plans on the weekend so, I can't join." Duan JunJie shook his head.

The person's face turned a bit upset, "Last time, you also said that something happened and left. Why don't you stay with everyone for once? It's a pity because eating a meal together is also a way of communicating feelings."

"Forget it, I've been in LFG for so long and I've never seen Lawyer Duan participate in any department team building activities!" The female colleague opposite to Duan JunJie smiled and replied, "People would rather offend a high-level staff than work overtime all the time. If you still hope to take his weekend then give up, don't even think about it."

The two female colleagues left while groaning in complaint and Duan JunJie remained silent and quietly observed those around him before continuing to work again.

At six o'clock, he sent the compiled attachments of the acquistion contact to the mailbox of the CEO's office. He was ready to pack his things and get off work when the computer suddenly made a loud noise. -- CEO Li replied about the contract so soon? Although he knows that the person in charge of LFG Group is an extremely efficient boss, the speed is too ridiculous. He clicked on the message and found out that it was an anonymous email with a string of jumbled up characters.

Duan JunJie frowned.

The string of jumbled codes seemed disorderly but he soon discovered that it was an e-mail with two layers of special encryption and the secret key was only available to members of BLACK SWAN. After deciphering the garbled codes, he found that it was a sentence and a "S" symbol with a tick at the end.

'Come to the conference room of BLACK SWAN headquarters.'

Duan JunJie read this sentence silently and raised his eyebrow. The sender did not use the B.S communication channel but used an anonymous IP address to send it. Obviously, it has to bypass the surveillance of some people in the organization.

After the establishment of the B.S board of directors, the original TWELVE members did not easily surrender to the BOSS. They secretly made a few small moves. Although Duan JunJie was just a screw responsible for intelligence because of the nature of the work, someone from TWELVE has tried to lure or tempt him but Duan JunJie refused.

And now...

Duan JunJie looked at this email and realized something vaguely. -- He glanced at the time and now he is leaving to meet the sender of the email. It would be too late by the time he gets home to make cat food for Amo. Although he was mentally prepared, when he opened the door and saw the person sitting on the opposite side of the long table, Duan JunJie still couldn't help but blurt out, "Mr. Li."

The man opposite the long table did not erect against the barrier to cover his face. He wore a suit with a straight back and a calm expression. No different from when was sitting in the office of LFG Building as the CEO. Duan JunJie paused, then changed his words, "Oh, BOSS." -- Victor pushed the document in front of him, "I know that your senior just sent you a task. Push away that task and do this instead."

"Push away..." Duan JunJie accepted the document, "Does this mean I don't have to connect with him again in the future?"

Victor did not speak. And not speaking is his answer.

Duan JunJie adjusted his glasses and scanned the document in his hands. "...When do you want it?"

"Before next Wednesday. Is it possible?"

"It's not that it's impossible but this will take up a lot of my rest time and I see this part of document is just a lead. The things that need to be explored later are much larger than these papers." He emphasized, "This will be a long work, BOSS."

"State your salary expectations."

Duan JunJie seriously considered his mortgage and car goods, "14th salary."

"16 salaries." Victor looked at him directly, "However, you have to get me the information worthy of this value I offer you."

[T/N : Just in case, ‘14th salary’ means the payment of an additional month's salary or a form of compensation ^^]

[Chapter 2]

Duan JunJie's life is very regular. He wakes up at eight in the morning, makes a cat meal for Amo, then takes the subway that arrives at 8:27am, leaves station at 8:47am and walks for five minutes to LFG. Goes to cafeteria to get an egg, two buns and a cup of soy milk. Sometimes he changes to regular milk according to the mood of the day. He makes sure to turn on the computer at nine o'clock and start working.

He was just like a little screw in the LFG Group. As long as he makes sure that he is firm and fits where he should be on time, it’s fine.

It's just a regular life where accidents will occur occasionally, such as today. --- At 8:51am, when Duan JunJie was about to walk to the door of LFG Building, his footsteps suddenly stopped because a hanging leaf was in front of him, staying still for five seconds.

An Evolver has used their ability. Duan JunJie reacted quickly.

He looked around. Cars, Pedestrians and even the giant screen advertisements that were flashing in the distance have stopped. In the silent world, the sound of leather shoes against the ground seemed so clear. --- Duan JunJie saw Victor appear from the other end of the intersection, walking steadily towards the middle of the road, and went straight to the bridge of a car. He leaned down in front of the car and when he got up again, there was a tabby cat in his arms.

When Victor embraced the cat and stepped onto the sidewalk, time began to flow again. The noise reappeared in the city in an instant, the car and the crowd were intertwined again, no one seemed to notice what happened just now.

Victor stepped forward and suddenly, as if he noticed something, he turned his head to look at Duan JunJie not too far away.

"Mr. Li." Duan JunJie greeted him and walked over. --- Victor nodded in response, took the cat to a safe place and put it down. Little cat was shocked and still seemed to be reluctant to give up Victor. It walked back and forth, rubbing on to Victor's hand for a while before turning its head and leaping into the flowers.

Duan JunJie looked at the back of the tabby cat and inexplicably thought of his own Amo. "Its ears are labeled and looks like a neutered cat."

"The cats in this area all have been neutered." Victor replied.

These two sentences are not exactly settling but the atmosphere is relaxed. Duan JunJie continued, "I didn't expect you to be a cat lover too." -- It is known that the cats in this area have been neutered, but the fact that Victor used Evol to save a cat, didn't really fit Duan JunJie's impression of Victor.

"It was just a matter of hand." Victor took off the cat's fur on his cuffs. "It should watch itself, someone can't come to its rescue everytime."

As soon as the voice fell, Victor's always firm eyes turned into a purple mist. Something seemed to have touched his mind and his expression became a little dazed. -- Duan JunJie saw Victor with that kind of expression for the first time but he intuitively felt that he shouldn't ask more. So, he took a step back, "Then I will go in first and the yesterday's document will be sent to you before quarter past ten in the morning."

At 8:57, Duan JunJie arrived at the LFG canteen. Today he bought one less egg because he wants to save time and start work.

[Chapter 3]

Whether as Caerus or Duan Lawyer, he has been very busy this time. LFG's acquisition plan has advanced to a critical stage and the investigation of the "Small Syringe" has also fallen into the bottle.

Even Duan JunJie who has no commercial sense, knows that this kind of medicine that can enhance Evol can create huge benefits that can change the entire world.

He once suspected that Victor's reason for being particularly concerned about “Small Syringes" was the instinct of capitalists to seek profit but if he really was chasing profits, he should've put this unstable medicine package on the market as soon as possible, instead of letting him investigate the "black hand" behind the shadow of the "Small Syringe Industry."

"Lawyer Duan, we'll head out first then." -- "Alright, bye."

The colleagues picked up their bags and said goodbye to him. When they walked to the door, he could still hear a faint sentence floating over to his ears, "Lawyer Duan is also working overtime. It's really rare..."

The sky gradually darkened and the neon lights of the city outside the floor-to-ceiling windows lit up for the first time in the night. Only Duan JunJie remained in the large office. In the silent environment, no breathing could be heard, only the monotonous keyboard percussion sounds in rugged manner.

-BEEP!

A sharp alarm interrupted Duan JunJie's work. He quickly opened the alarm interface and found that the source of the alarm was Victor's office. --- "The sound pulse from the office is fluctuating abnormally..." Duan JunJie watched the screen as he whispered, "...Someone is eavesdropping?"

It's not surprising that Victor will be exposed by some people. What surprised Duan JunJie is that someone dared to do something in Victor's office. He immediately sent an encrypted signal to Victor, asking the other party to come out of the office immediately. But even after a long time, Victor in the camera remained motionless. Not too long after, he saw a girl pushing to open the door of the office, still holding some documents in her hand.

She is the boss of [Miracle Entertainment or MC's company name], a film and television company invested by LFG and a member of BLACK SWAN, Miss NOX.

".....So that's it. You don't want to stun the snake, huh." --- Seeing this scene, Duan JunJie breathed a sigh of relief. It also reflects that the time for NOX to report on official business is the anti-tracking time given to him by Victor. He has to be worthy of the 16 salary that Victor offered to give him.

An hour later, Duan JunJie stood in front of Victor's office and knocked on the door three times.

"Come in."

Duan JunJie walked in, closed the door carefully and operated the small anti-eavesdropping device in his hand. He fidgeted it a few times and finally installed it on the door. Then he turned around and said straightforwardly, "BOSS, it's done." --- "Speak."

"The source of the eavesdropping was traced to the tea room in Xicheng District. This is the background check of the tea room owner and the personnel he has been in close contact with recently."

*[Note : Searched and found out that Xicheng District is an actual district in Beijing, China i.e popular for dining, restaurants and nightlife.]*

Duan JunJie operated the device a few times on his mobile phone and the corresponding intelligence content popped up on Victor's computer. "A few people had contact with the "Small Syringe". As for the person who installed the eaves dropping device, they have also been found. They are the cleaners who cleaned your office yesterday. According to monitoring and comparison, they are not really from LFG but they disguised as staffs to enter. People have been arranged to go to the town's tea room, they can act at any time." -- "Got it."

Victor's tone was always faint, his expression calm as if he had not experienced such tense eavesdropping crisis one after another or perhaps for this man, he had experienced countless even more dangerous situation that not even Duan JunJie can imagine. More knife-pointed, like the scene of life and death on the front line.

He scanned the page for a few moments, hit the button and said, "Move on to the next stage." -- But the meaning of entering the next stage does not mean that he does not need to care about how those eavesdroppers will be dealt with. Duan JunJie nodded knowingly, "Understood." Victor's gaze flew through the floor-to-ceiling long windows to the far ground, as if he was saying to Duan JunJie or as if he was saying to an invisible opponent, "The line has already been put for long enough." -- Duan JunJie lowered his head, "I will continue to report to you if there is a new situation."

He turned to leave the office but suddenly wrinkled his nose before leaving. A faintly sweet smell was floating on the tip of his nose which he doesn't know where it came from was like the caramel smell he would sense when he would pass the dessert shop downstairs the building.

This kind of sweet smell is not supposed to appear in Victor's office. It might be just an illusion, Duan JunJie thought.

[Chapter 4]

Without even realizing, it was the end of the year again. At this time, the center of the topic among the colleagues will be drawn more and more to the LFG annual meeting.

"Last year, someone in the department next door got paid for a month of paid travel along with wine reported!"

"I want to get a camera. Maybe also with an advanced equipment and so my photography skills will improve..."

"Lawyer Duan, what prize do you want to get?"

"The Sunshine award." Duan JunJie replied.

The atmosphere suddenly became silent. ---- Duan JunJie thinks this topic is meaningless and he doesn't think he has the luck to win a lottery either. Excessive luxurious prizes are often accompanied by huge risks. He is only greedy for peace and stability and does not want to have a life full of too many twists and turns.

It's better to go home and cook an extra meal for the cat when you finally have gotten time.

LFG's annual meeting has always been very lively. In addition to the people from the headquarters, some co-operating companies will also come to socialize. Backed up companies owners such as the boss of [MC's company name], MC will not be absent any year either. --- After the last eavesdropping incident, probably out of affirmation of his work ability, Victor handed him more tasks. As a result, he came into contact with this woman who had an unusual relationship with the BOSS. Although he exchanged the information online, the other party did not know his identity in reality.

He glanced at the energetic girl and then turned away, not planning to say 'hello' to her as LFG's lawyer, Duan JunJie. --- What Duan JunJie didn't expect was that he won the second prize at this annual meeting.

The moment his name appeared on the big screen, his colleagues seemed to be more excited than him. These guys who usually self-evaluate the law elites laughed and made noises while surrounding him and asked him to invite guests to share this joy.

"You are the King of our department this year, Lawyer Duan"

Duan JunJie was so annoyed by them that he simply made an excuse and slipped out of the annual party ahead of time. He had just gotten in the car and was about to start when suddenly two figures flashed in the corner of his eye that shouldn't have been there at this time. --- Victor and NOX walked to the garage side by side and the two seemed to be talking about something. Duan JunJie thought it might not be an official business because the girl's face had a brilliant smile that seemed appropriate to her young age. She carried a bag of vegetables in one hand and the other hand was making gestures from time to time. Victor's eyebrows were still sharp and cold but the corners of his mouth have a slight arc. And if Duan JunJie is right, is this the B.S BOSS carrying a bag of.....cat litter?

It's the same cat litter as Amo.

Duan JunJie raised his eyebrows. He felt as if he had discovered something extraordinary; something he shouldn't have witnessed. --- So, Duan JunJie asked questions unrelated to work for the first time in the work email the next day.

"Why does the poster of LFG annual meeting feature a Siamese cat?"

Victor quickly answered him.

"That is my cat. It is a mascot."

[Chapter 5]

Affected by the LFG's malicious acquisition of pharmaceutical companies from the outside world, recently, the atmosphere in the company is much more sluggish than it used to be. The laughter and gossips are no longer in the lounge, they have become quiet discussions and sighs.

"When I went to get a coffee across the street today, the clerk saw my staff badge and said that he would not accept me as a customer. I was really speechless..."

"Huh, if he didn't accept you then you should've complained to him and not only complain but also wear LFG badge everyday to buy the coffee. It is never a shame to be a LFG employee!"

"That's right!" -- Duan JunJie was stunned and stopped for a while but a colleague in the pantry had already noticed him. "Lawyer Duan!"

Duan JunJie nodded at them and poured the remaining water from the glass into the sink. A female colleague said with a smile, "How is Amo from Lawyer Duan's family?"

"He's okay, just losing weight recently."

"By the way, we recently established a 'LFG cat-lover group'. Does Lawyer Duan want to join?” The female colleague laughed at him and while asking him that.

"Occasionally, We also see CEO Li's little pudding!"

"Oh, thank you. Let me think about it." --- After bidding farewell to his colleagues, Duan JunJie set off for the BS Building. One or two minutes before, he got a message from the special communication channel of B.S that an emergency meeting was to be held.

Before entering the meeting room, he habitually knocked the door three times and after getting permission from Victor, he finally opened the door and entered.

"The next step of the plan can start."

"I know. I will arrange the needed manpower." --- As usual Victor was ready to withstand his(Duan JunJie's) next actions until a silver-haired man suddenly broke in and interrupted Duan JunJie's bargaining with Victor over the length of overtime work he has to do.

"You two can talk slowly."

Without waiting for the silver-haired man to scan his eyes coldly, Duan JunJie turned around and left the meeting room very wittily. He's only doing what he's supposed to do, not listening to what he shouldn't listen to. This is the work principle he has always believed in. -- Duan JunJie feels that his current life is very good. Both LFG and BLACK SWAN are huge and sophisticated associations, requiring countless "Attorney Duan" and Caerus as screws to maintain their operation.

The man at the helm/steer who directs the operation is Victor.

Screws can get stuck occasionally and can be replaced but Victor cannot make any mistakes, let alone replace him. Once he makes any mistakes, the consequences are bound to be fatal.

Perhaps in terms of risk, following the word "Victor" is already the biggest gamble in Duan JunJie's life. ---- His tokens were all on bet because of this man. He inexplicably believed that Victor could win, not because of the gorgeous numbers in LFG's annual report, nor because B.S continued to grow these glamorous crowns and success under his leadership.

But is the stray cat that was rescued, the brand new "Small Syringe" industry chain and the badge on the chest of his colleagues.....The reason lied in these things.

Duan JunJie turned on his phone and opened the messaging app before starting the next stage of work.

"What was the 'LFG cat-lover group' number again?"

[R&S CLEARED]

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

T/N : Thank you for reading. Do let me know if there are any errors.

But the biggest question still prevails. What was the cat groups number?

#r&s summary : mlqc with it's usual confusing drama feat. Victor's and Duan JunJie's love for cats #let us see amo #not at victor using pudding as a mascot #this r&s is less intense than i thought tho #also silver haired man is that helios?#mlqc #mlqc victor #mlqc cn #mlqc rumors and secrets #mlqc translations #li zeyan #mldd #mr love queen's choice #love and producer

53 notes · View notes

signalno5 · 3 years

Text

[02] In which Goshiki thinks about his cute roommate

Or There’s no heterosexual explanation for this

Trig, Calc and stats can eat my entire ass. All the other Math can stay. I also don’t think I mentioned it but italicized text means thoughts. Also shdkjash I don’t have any pre-written chapters any more....

Warnings: Math, reader has set interests (it might ruin your immersion but this fic series is very self-indulgent lol)

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Wednesday

May 23, 2012

If there's anything that Goshiki notices about you, it's how quiet you were. You’d always clam up after he tries to make conversation with you. It's like you were trying to desperately find something to say. He'd see how your face would contort into a grimace then a frown then you'd look pensive, as if you were considering something.

You were weird.

Maybe not as weird as Tendou-senpai but still weird. He briefly wonders if you two would get along if you met. You seemed to be one of those eccentric genius types, with your nose always shoved into your textbooks and your unexpected taste in room décor.

You looked so serious even though you were surrounded by plushies on the bed. In between you and your Japanese Literature book was your Pompompurin stuffed toy, your chin was resting on its little brown beret and your arms were wrapped around its round yellow body. Beside you were your notebooks and homework packets, neatly piled up.

He wonders why he was ever intimidated by your quiet nature, looking at you now. It was cute how you couldn’t bear to leave home without your large collection of Sanrio merch. Even though your beds were the same size, yours looked so much smaller from the armada of stuffed toys on it.

He briefly wondered how pleasant your bed it would be to sleep on your bed; the mattresses were the same but your bed looked infinitely more comfy (which was probably why you were studying there instead of a desk). Your pillows and plushies looked so soft too but he’d know not to lie down on your plushies because he’s seen you look upset when you accidentally crushed little Cinnamoroll in your sleep.

He remembers remarking on the sheer amount of it and you looked so flustered about it saying that the bulk of it were gifts from his parents since they weren’t around much.

When he thinks about it, you kind of remind him of Gudetama with its lazy, droopy nature. Probably because you promptly fell asleep soon after meeting him. The two of you made a strange-looking pair; Goshiki who was energetic and over-enthusiastic and (L/N) who always seemed tired.

It’s amazing how you became his friend so easily. Goshiki himself was pretty aloof so it seemed unlikely that this friendship would be formed.

But then again, I’m the one who suddenly declared that we were friends…

It was a bit embarrassing that he did that but he found himself drawn to (L/N). He remembered his broad grin when he took his bags into the room. After 2 months of being his roommate, Goshiki realized how rare it was to get him to smile.

Ah, I want to see that smile again.

( He didn’t notice that there were eyes on him. Looking back at his blank, zoned out stare with a fond look and the smallest grin. )

He wonders if he smiles a lot during class (You were in different classes after all, with Goshiki being in class 1-4 and you being in class 1-5). He wonders if you laugh at Ito-sensei’s morbid humor or if you go along with your class’s hijinks.

He wonders if you had any inside jokes with your seatmates (who he knew because he visited your classroom sometimes during lunch). Are you always so serious all the time? Maybe you’re trying to play straight man to their jokes…?

“...Goshiki?”

“Ah..yeah?”

“Did you finish the homework packet that Kato-sensei gave us? I’m not quite sure if I got the value of the tangent right in item #8. I just wanted to compare answers if that’s alright.”

… fuck

He hadn’t started with it yet since he just got back from volleyball practice and he’s been wasting time staring at his roommate like a creep too!!

Might as well be truthful about it…

“Ah, I haven’t started on it yet”, he laughed nervously. “I just came back from volleyball practice after all.”

(L/N) looked pretty apologetic for some reason. He curled back into his plushie and turned his head away from Goshiki.

“Right. Sorry if I was disturbing your rest.. I thought you wanted something from me because you were staring.”

!!!

So he did notice!

“Ah… well? I-um wanted to ask for your help? You’re in Class 1-5 so I thought that you’d be able to help me out! Only if you want to of course!”

He hoped that (L/N) wouldn’t call bullshit because he knew Goshiki didn’t really struggle too hard in academics. He knew that people thought of him as a volleyball idiot but he’s pretty grade conscious too! (Especially since it proved that he was smarter than Ushijima-senpai)

“...Alright but I might need your input in this too. I’m still having a hard time grasping the topic.”

(L/N) looked troubled by this; he was nervous and fidgety, adjusting Pompompurin’s little beret and smoothing out the wrinkles on its surface. His hands looked like they were desperately looking for something to fix or smooth out. This made Goshiki worry; in the few months that he’s known him, he hasn’t really seen him struggle in academics. But they were in the midst of midterm examinations after all, so it would make sense to be stressed out by extra homework.

I guess even people like him have a hard time.

“You can count on me (L/N)!”, he said in a voice too loud for a room with only two people in it.

He heard a quiet chuckle and looked at his roommate to see him leaning on his Rillakuma pillow (weird considering he liked Sanrio characters more) with a smile wide on his face.

“That’s just like you to say, Goshiki.”

Goshiki hoped that his ears weren’t deceiving him but he sounded fond? He said it in a way that made Goshiki warm.

It was fluttery too and light. He felt like his chest was a balloon being inflated with a pump. It felt like someone was stepping on the pedal faster and faster with the air going in until his chest felt full.

What a weird feeling it was.

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x male reader #goshiki tsutomu x reader #goshiki tsutomu x male reader #goshiki x reader #toritriestowrite #yayy for banners!!!!

87 notes · View notes

kraiyan · 3 years

Text

i made my own little headcannons to fit in if michael and jeremy were dating and a bunch of other stuff that i don’t want to spoil so take my headcannons and please don’t pay attention to my overuse of the words ‘so’ and ‘like’

i wrote this headcannons for me in my notes so there are mentions of panic/anxiety attacks, light mentions of an eating disorder, nightmares, and self harm but i’ll just put a trigger warning for when those parts show up and if i missed anything that is triggering please let me know

- michael is trans and gay and jeremy is bisexual

- i think they would’ve been friends since kindergarten so they grew up telling each other EVERYTHING

- i feel like michael was really girly as a kid but in like 6th grade he just completely switched to like tomboy but he didn’t do on purpose it just happened

- then in seventh grade michael told jeremy he wanted to be a boy then after that with help from jeremy he came out to his moms

- michael had a crush in jeremy since 7th grade but i don’t think jeremy was his first crush

- i think since michael was straight when he was a girl he just assumed he was straight as a boy and his sexual awakening was captain sparklez

- michael has two moms and jeremys mom would’ve died in a car accident so it’s just him and his dad

- i imagine they confessed to each other in their second year of high school

- (TW: mentions of abuse) jeremy realized he liked michael in freshman year and it was really bad he could not stop thinking about him so when he got squip squip l would not stop punishing him for it

- so jeremy definitely has some problems with his bisexuality

- after years of pining for each other when they finally kissed jeremy could not stop panicking about it

- like they went to sleep fine but he was internally panicking and he tried to keep it together but the next day he absolutely broke just started sobbing saying over and over again “is this okay, are we okay”

- michael is the type to listen to a vulgar music to help his dysphoria

- so him and jeremy are in his car michael plugs in his phone and just starts singings “hoes want to be seen with me and i like their big thick titties”

- and jeremy can do nothing else but be like michael what the fuck

- they decided to keep their relationship a secret and not tell anyone bc of jeremy still coming to terms with himself and he didn’t think his dad would understand

- but i feel like michael moms had already pieced together that they were dating and jeremy didn’t mind that they knew bc they’re literally lesbians but every time jeremy came over from that point forward they had to keep their door open

-(TW: mention of an eating disorder) in a different angstier au jeremy would struggle with eating as a control thing after squip

- (TW: mention of an eating disorder) in an angstier au michael would have an eating disorder cause dysphoria

- i feel like once he realized he was trans he had really bad dysphoria but like with therapy and stuff he got over it

- so i think michael really liked afycso and had it on a vinyl and now jeremy knows all the words

- they don’t do anything at school because jeremy is still uncomfortable so they just pursuit their relationship between closed doors and michaels car in an empty parking lot

- i feel like they both got really excited when michael got referred to as sir for the first time

- jeremy and michael grew up together but ironically when puberty hit michael started to wear baggy clothes than he wore a binder than he wore super baggy clothes to hide his tits after coming out but during squip he had time to self reflect and work on his dysphoria so when jeremy saw michael outside of school he kinda said TITS and was so caught off guard by them

-(TW: mentions of self harm scars) i think michael has sh scars due to losing his childhood best friend and the whole panic attack in the bathroom thing and jeremys seen them but didn’t bring it up to michael because they’re fading so he obviously doesn’t do it anymore but it was a huge shock for jeremy to find out

- they never brought it up tho and it was never discussed bc who cares it was in the past

- michael pants his nails black and i think on some very rare occasion jeremy would paint his nails too (like the way karl paint his) and michael has lots of nail polish cuz on the rare occasion he paints his nails different colors and he repainted his nails every two weeks

- no matter how many times michael has changed in the same room as jeremy even let jeremy help take off his binder jeremy will never not get shy when he changes and will always ask to go into another room

- jeremy is a coffee person but not hot coffe because he always drinks it too early and burns his tongue

- he originally bought his hoodie™️ in really huge size to battle dysphoria but that just made the hoodie last for years

- jeremys name in michaels phone is something very gay and lovey and shit and michaels name on jeremys phone is just michael :)

- jeremy would come home all suspicious and and red faced after him and michael came from an empty parking lot that his dad would not stop begging him to meet this girlfriend of his

- i don’t think jeremy told his dad him and michael were playing a game or something and they kiss jeremys dad comes in and is like what 😦

-and his dad is shocked that he has been pushing girlfriend but he has a boyfriend and is just soooooo awkward about it and never sees michael the same but never makes any rules about them bc he doesn’t want to be homophobic 😭

- i don’t think he was really not supportive but it took him a bit to get used to it but it was so new to him and he was just so phased he just kinda talked to jeremy about his sexuality then left it at that

- they are like gendebend bubbline (marshal lee and the other one yk)

- michael has a queen vinyl the listen to a lot

- so i think michael would still smoke a bit and one time he convinced jeremy to do it with him and jeremy mainly coughed a lot then they just made out the rest of the time but they didn’t tell their parents they would be staying out after school and they both got in trouble

- michael gets blue raspberry and jeremy gets cherry but he also gets coke sometimes too (slushy flavors)

- at the beginning of their relationship they had to take it really slow so that jeremy would feel coqmfortable

- (TW: mentions of panic attacks) so jeremy has nightmares of squip and he wakes up having panic attacks and it’s really tiring bc he only gets 2 hours of sleep if he has these nightmares

- (TW: mentions of panic attacks) i feel like along with his nightmares he also had panic attacks that squip would punish him for pursuing a relationship with a guy let alone michael

- so after he got over his nightmares he just struggled with sleeping and nighttime in general like just fear around going to sleep

- so he often stayed up alll night to avoid sleeping and would like go to bed at 6 or on a good day 4 or 5

- so i think to get over his fear he had to make a routine first he would make some sort of hot drink or just water (mostly sleepy time tea) then he would text michael that he was going to sleep he also wears the same pajamas every time he goes to sleep just to make sure the routine really works then lastly he reads a comic book then he goes to bed

- i think the reason jeremy couldn’t sleep well after getting over the nightmares is because even if squip doesn’t haunt him enough to show up in his dreams anymore it still haunts him enough to stress him out constantly so he doesn’t sleep well

- to conclude the nightmare and sleeping saga jeremy basically has a night routine and sleeps with a night light

- i feel like they both go to therapy but we’re to scared to tell each other (and they both started going to therapy before they started dating)

- so fast forward they’re dating and are trying to plan a date and jeremys like i’m busy on monday at 1 and my dad needs me to help him with something on tuesday so how about wednesday at 3 and michaels like i have somewhere to be like at 3:30 and jeremys like where do you have to be and michaels like where do YOU have to be and so they count to three and say where they’re going to be and they both say therapy and then they’re like you go to therapy i think that would be so cute

- so michael has really thick glasses like his vision is awful so if jeremy is mad at michael he would wake up early and move his glasses over so michael would have to struggle to get out of bed and look for them with his poor ass vision

- he can see things right in front of his face but as soon as it moves a bit too far it’s blurry

- and speaking of his galsses if they’re really kissing along the way jeremy would take of his glasses so they could get closer to each other’s faces (like how elle and tao do in heartstopper )

- michael and jeremy have been friends way too long to not have practiced kissing with each other

- i think christine was a long time crush for jeremy so he definitely practiced kissing michael a lot since they were in 6th grade and michael was just soaking that shit up

- he’d be like what if she wants to make out we should practice that and jeremys like oh yeah you’re right and michael would be so freaking happy

- but they definitely got caught by jeremys dad and he laughed it off cause what else are you meant to when your 11 year old son and his 12 year old best friend are kissing each other

- they didn’t do it anymore after that cause they were soooooooooo embarrassed

- so i don’t talk about the rest of the characters but i’m about to make a headcannon including them so i’m gonna say my headcannons

- so chole is demisexual and panromantic

- brooke is a lesbian

- rich is bisexual and trans

- jake is pan

- jenna is questioning or straight

- and christine is aro/ace

- so i think jeremy and christine dated for a bit then christine broke up with him cause she was all like i can see the way you look at michael and also because she realized she was feeling intense platonic attraction not romantic

- and also i think they’re all friends so they have a group chat where they send homework answers and stuff

- so i think one time jeremy is doing his nighttime routine but this particular night he’s really tired so he texts michael goodnight bby <3 love u then skips the comic book reading and goes to bed but he sent it to their group chat so as soon as he got situated into bed all he hears is his phone going off so he has to check and it’s just everyone freaking out

- so he like fully sits up is looking at his phone in complete shock then realizes he never said a name so they are like who’s this mystery girl

- so he calls michael tells him about the situation then decides he’s ready to come out

- so the next day they’re more handsy then usual like jeremy wiped something off his face michael saw that he was cold and pulled him real close and their friends are like okayyyyy

- but mind you christine knew that jeremy liked michael so she knew exactly what was happening

- so at the end of the day their friend group is making plans to hang out but everyone was busy so jeremy goes well i’ll see you guys tomorrow waves at everyone kisses michael then starts walking to his house then michaels like yea i’m gonna head home to and like drives away and from that day forward their friends would not stop teasing them and were impressed they could keep there secret for so long

- so i feel like michaels moms both have jobs that run late so mom #1 is an er nurse and mom #2 is an account so this leaves michael a lot of time of being alone in his house so naturally you need to take advantage

- so one time mom #2 gets home and walks in just to see jeremy fully on the counter making out with her son

- i don’t think they got in trouble but his mom was like please not on the counter

- and then there was another time where mom #1 came home on her break cause she doesn’t live far from the er so she like yells to michael that she’s home

- and so naturally you come down to hug your mom so he comes down to greet his mom with a red faced jeremy behind him and his mom thought this was so fucking funny but as soon as she’s done laughing she immediately goes anytime jeremys over the doors open and that was the end of it

- everyone has this one thing that someone does that make them all blushy and stuff

- for jeremy it’s when michael wears fitting clothes cause michael is known to wear hoodies or just baggy clothes in general so when michael does get hot and needs to like put something on he puts on one of those body fitting v necks and jeremy losses his shit like he’s fully blushing and avoiding eye contact and since michael changed cause he was hot he’s sure that jeremy is so hot that his face is turning red and he’s embarrassed to say to take off his cardigan so the entire time jeremy is being full homo for his boyfriend michael is thinking he’s about to pass out from a heat stroke

- so i think jeremy enjoys this so much that for the first week of spring michael will only wear fitted clothes because jeremy loves it

- for michael it’s when he’s kissing jeremys neck and jeremy runs his hand thru his hair and pulls it a little when this happens michael loses all common sense one because jeremys enjoying himself so much that he has to kinda tug on michaels hair and two he’s enjoying it so much he doesn’t have time to think that squip is going to punish him and that makes michael just lose his mind so by the time they’ve pulled apart jeremy as sooooo many hickies and they both look at each other like what the fuck did we just do

- moving right along i feel like when jeremy wakes up at night and is terrified to go back to sleep if him and michael are sleeping together he will like hug him until he gets back to sleep and it works every time

- when they were like 7 jeremy got really sick with the flu and michael was so scared that he was going to die so he kissed him while he was sleeping because if his best friend was gonna die so was he and the next day he got really sick with the flu and jeremy would not stop crying because he thought that since michael refused to leave his side he got him sick…they’re idiots

- jeremy is the type to go to school with the worst fever ever he could throw up in the middle of the school day and still not go to the nurse and if he got sick during junior year forget it you had to strap him down to his bed if you wanted him to take a day off like michael had to sedecue him into staying in bed and taking medication so that he could feel better

#be more chill #boyf riends #bmc #bmc headcanons #bmc michael #bmc jeremy

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cjsinkythoughts · 3 years

Text

Erased From the Stars: Chapter 2

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 4254

Series Warnings: Toxic Relationships, Cheating, Physical Abuse, Underage Drinking, Drug Use (marijuana), Motor Vehicle Accident, Cursing

Chapter Warnings: Cursing, Mentions of Sex, Cocky Bucky, Nervous Bucky, Bucky Bucky

A/N: I actually have ideas for this story, so I’m cranking it out! I definitely wasn’t expecting to post today, but here we are! This chapter has a lot of dialogue and some of Reader’s thoughts, but not much action, yet. We’re kind of still getting in the roll of things, it still being the first week of college and all that. We do get to meet Bucky, though! Next chapter we’ll meet mostly everyone else, and there will be more things happening other than classes and work. I kinda feel like I’m rushing these first few chapters, so I’m sorry about that, but it’s mostly introductions and setting up the story and I’m the type of person who likes writing the climax and only the climax. So this is steady growth for me.

I do want to point out the series warnings, just in case! I don’t want anyone feeling uncomfortable or being triggered while reading this so please take those seriously as it will happen later on in the story! Thank you!

Once again, this isn’t beta’d so please excuse any mistakes! Thank you for reading and please enjoy!

Erased From the Stars Masterlist

cjsinkythoughts’ Masterlist

You woke up in a much better mood on Tuesday, having gotten more sleep than the previous night, especially considering how tired you were when you got home past midnight from working at Shield. You crashed as soon as your head hit the pillow.

You took your time getting ready and eating breakfast, saying bye to Christine and the kids, leaving first that time since your Public Speaking class started before Kayla’s preschool did.

Which you were late to.

Of course as soon as you let your guard down, thinking you’d be fine since your first day was fine, you weren’t fine.

Fortunately, you were only a few minutes late and didn’t miss anything, since today would be another day of going over rules and course requirements for the two new classes you had.

Public Speaking was the worst. You’re older - and only - sister, Kimberly, convinced you to take the class after saying it was one of her favorites. Of course, you forgot that you and Kim were very different people. For starting at 9:05, it was too early of a class, especially when the whole point was, you know, public speaking. You hadn’t done anything yet, but one glance at the plans your professor had for the semester and you were dreading it already.

Your next class was a US History lecture, which started fifteen minutes after Public Speaking. You were again late because you severely underestimated how far the buildings were and your professor let you out a bit later than you anticipated.

You practically threw all your stuff into your bag the moment he dismissed you and sprinted out.

Arriving, you tried slipping in as silently as possible, but the door slammed shut, rather loudly, making you cringe. You felt yourself heat up as several pairs of eyes snapped towards you, but luckily the professor, Coulson you remembered, was just gathering papers and hadn’t started yet. Ignoring your peers - none of whom you knew and you weren’t sure if that made it worse or not - you shuffled over to the nearest empty seat a few rows down and to the right. You were surprised and extremely grateful to find it was an aisle seat.

Pulling out your laptop, you huffed when it wouldn’t turn on. You hadn’t used it in your previous class, meaning it was dead before, but you could’ve sworn you plugged it in last night. Whatever. You were fine with pen and paper.

“Aw shit.” You resisted the urge to smack your head on the table as you dug through your bag. Seriously?! You forgot to pack a pen?! That couldn’t have been your only pen, right?!

This is why you were anxious. Next morning, you swore you’d get up early and triple check to make sure you had everything.

You quietly threw your bag to the ground and slumped in your seat, your arms crossed. That meant you couldn’t even doodle! You had to sit there for over an hour and listen to this guy talk about another syllabus. Joy.

Suddenly, something hit you in the back of your head. You rubbed where it hit and looked down at your feet, eyebrows knitting together at the scrunched up ball of paper sitting there. “Psst.” Another hit to the head made you whip around, glaring at the culprit.

“What?” You hissed before faltering. Damn. Now that was one hell of a specimen.

Steel blue eyes crinkled at the corner as pink lips pulled up into an entertained grin, pearly whites on display. Sharp jawline covered with light scruff. Fluffy chestnut hair styled with the perfect amount of gel fell a little past his ears, with a single pesky strand falling in his eyes. The white shirt he was wearing was loose with a low collar, a leather jacket thrown over it. You could see the combat boots from underneath the table. He was a pretty boy, yeah, but you hung out with (*cough cough* dated) enough guys dressed like him in high school to know his game.

“Need a pen?” He offered in a whisper, holding up the said object.

“Uhm…yes?”

He smirked, leaning forwards in his chair, closer to you. “I’ll let you have it on one condition.” You raised an eyebrow, giving him a pointed look. “Just a name, babygirl. Yours, specifically.”

You rolled your eyes, glancing around the room to see if you were disturbing anybody. Not seeing anyone paying attention to you two, you turned back to him. “Y/N.”

“Bucky.” He introduced himself, reaching over to shake your hand. You took it, a bit hesitant, blinking when you felt something fall into your palm once he pulled back. The pen.

“I, uh, thanks.”

He winked at you, leaning back in his chair, hands linked behind his head. “No problem, doll.”

You turned back to the lecture, holding in your scoff at his pet name, hating the fact that it nearly made you smile. He was definitely a fuckboy and you told yourself before college that you wouldn’t play around with them anymore.

So you tuned him out of your mind for the rest of the lecture and, thank God, you had to rush out of class once it ended because you had to work in half an hour, not even letting the blue eyed pretty boy say a word in your direction.

You worked for the rest of the day, Russo’s for lunch, a few hours break to look over school stuff and have dinner with your family, before Shield from 9 to 1. It was fine. Long, but nothing you weren’t used to already. You really enjoyed both your jobs and you got lucky with your bosses.

Joe and Anthony were brothers who took over Russo’s for their parents. The pizzeria had been in their family for generations, and they gladly took on the tradition. They had kids of their own and dealt with their school, so they were very understanding - almost parental - to you.

Phillips had started Shield after retiring from the Army, wanting to settle down with a place to drink, smoke, and play poker with his buddies. He was stern, but that was to be expected. He always told you, “you can take the man out of the Army, but you can’t take the Army out of the man.” Despite him being strict, though, he was reasonable, and had taken a liken to you since the moment you stepped foot in the bar.

And not only did you like your jobs, the money wasn’t too bad either.

But, despite that, you were still human, and having two back-to-back college classes and then working two jobs for over eight hours was draining.

You made sure everything was ready for the next day before you left for Shield, that way you could just get home, change, and sleep. Tuesday might’ve been a rough starting day, but you’d learn for Thursday, and Wednesday’s morning was definitely better.

Peter even texted you his coffee order, telling you he’d probably be late. You chuckled to yourself when you got the text at breakfast. You totally called it.

In his defense, he really was running late, and you could tell just by looking at him. One shoe untied, hair messy like he just rolled out of bed, sweater haphazardly thrown on like it was an afterthought, which it probably was.

“You,” he puffed, sinking into his chair and taking the coffee cup you held out. “Are my savior and I’ll love you until the end of time.”

You chuckled, shaking your head. “And you, my friend, are so much more chaotic than I thought. What’d you do? Stay up until three last night?”

He shrugged, shooting you an innocent smile while his cheeks turned red. “I got caught up binge watching Clone Wars.”

“Of course you did. Here’s the notes you missed so far.”

He gave you an adoring smile. “Did I tell you I love you?”

“Yeah, yeah. Sap. Hurry and copy them down so I don’t miss anything.”

********************

It was when you were checking your things Wednesday night when you realized you had an extra pen. It took you a moment to remember the blue eyed pretty boy from Coulson’s History lecture, but when you did you groaned.

Your dating record in high school was pretty bad. Not that you would really call it dating. But Whitney was right when she said it was you wanting attention. It wasn’t easy being the middle of seven. But you dealt with it and now that you were across the country from your family - who you loved but Jesus Christ did you need a break - you didn’t need to act out to seek attention.

You were an adult. Meaning you wouldn’t goof off with guys like that anymore. Meaning you didn’t even want to talk to guys like that anymore.

Meaning you were severely regretting taking his stupid pen.

Maybe he wouldn’t notice if you didn’t give it back. Yeah. Maybe you could just ignore him and he won’t even remember that he let you borrow it.

Those were your hopes as you walked into your US History lecture, taking the seat you had on Tuesday.

“On time today? Glad to see we’re learning.” And there go your hopes, crashing straight into the floor, shattering into millions of tiny pieces. Going for ‘not interested’, you quirked an eyebrow, twisting your head as a bag landed on the table next to your open laptop, a body falling into the seat beside you. The leather jacket was replaced with a denim one, his black button up tighter around his chest than Tuesday’s white t-shirt. “And you charged your computer! Very nice, doll.”

You shrugged, going back to your doodling. “Time management’s always been a bit of an issue for me.”

“Ah. Gotchu, gotchu. I’ve got a pal like that too. A couple of them, actually.” He chuckled. “Is that why you high-tailed outta here Tuesday?”

“I’ve got work right after this class.” You answered shortly.

He leaned his elbow on the table, his legs spread as he turned fully to, a slight smirk on his face. “I haven’t seen you ‘round campus before. You new here? A freshman? You don’t look like it.”

You hummed. “Maybe. It’s a big campus.”

“Which you don’t live on.”

Frowning at the question that he said more like a statement, you moved your head back to him. “I don’t?”

He shook his head, setting his cheek in his palm. “Nope. I know everyone who lives on campus.”

A bit distracted due to Professor Coulson just walking in and announcing the lesson for the day, you hummed and shut your notebook and set up a page on your laptop for notes. “Everyone, huh?”

He nodded with a click of his tongue. “I get around.”

There it was. “Oh? A party animal?”

“I wouldn’t say that. My friends and I are just outgoing. We enjoy life.”

“Enjoy life or enjoy getting into girl’s pants?”

He hissed, shaking his hand like he burned it. “Ouch, doll. That stung. For your information, quite a few people in my group are goin’ steady. And we’re of mixed genders and sexualities. It’s not always girls’ pants.”

You raised an eyebrow, turning to him while still trying to pay attention. “For you or your group.”

“Does it matter?” He shrugged. “Would it bother you if I did fuck guys? ‘Cause I have experimented and it’s not half bad.”

“Nope.” You popped the ‘p’, shaking your head. “You do you, pal. Or…do whoever you want to. Now if you don’t mind, I’m trying to-”

He nodded. “Right, right. Yeah. Sorry. Just…listen. I think we got off on the wrong foot. I’m not gonna force you to do anything, you know. Yeah, sure, I’ve seen a few beds around campus, but I’ve got female friends who I don’t sleep with. What if I just wanna be friends with you, huh doll?”

“Just friends?”

“Yup.”

“Really?”

“Uh-huh.”

You narrowed your eyes. “Okay. How many of these so-called female friends you don’t sleep with single?”

He chuckled, running a hand through his hair. “The list gets smaller, but yeah.”

“How about single straight female friends?”

He paused at that, eyebrows scrunched up. After a moment you clicked your tongue with a slight smirk, facing your computer and typing the notes Coulson was writing on the projector. “Hold on, hold on. Yes, I’ve got a few of them. Listen, babygirl, you’re making this a lot harder than it needs to be.”

You scoffed. “Don’t call me ‘babygirl’ and we’ll see where that gets you.”

“Okay, okay. That’s fair. What? Don’t you believe that guys and girls can be friends with nothing between ‘em?”

“Yeah, I do. Just not guys like you.”

He frowned, eyes narrowing. “Well that’s not fair. You don’t even know me!”

“Mister Barnes.” Bucky winced at the teacher’s annoyed shout, before throwing Coulson a dashing grin.

“Hey, Phil! How was your summer, man? You still goin’ out with that cellist?”

The professor raised his eyebrows, unamused. “Is there something you’d like to share with the class?”

“Oh yeah! Thanks for the reminder, Phil!” Bucky stood up and cleared his throat. “Yo! First football game of the season is next Friday! It’s gonna be a blast! Watch out for number 41! Handsome devil’s gonna score the winning touchdown! Avengers assemble, am I right?!”

Coulson gave him an unamused look as the room cheered, making you laugh behind your hand. Bucky fell back into his seat, shooting you a wink as Coulson calmed down the room.

“You’re a football player?”

“Fullback, yes ma’am. Co-captain of the team, in fact.” He smugly leaned his seat onto the back two legs, setting his feet up on the desk.

Unbelievable. Why were you always attracted to these idiots? A player in both senses of the word. “There it is.”

He blinked, his chair falling forwards with a ‘thud’ that made Coulson shot him a warning glare. Bucky smiled innocently, before shifting his chair so he was turned towards you again, the smile turning upside down. “There what is?”

“That cocky, conceited air you fill the room with. Attention is what you live for. I should’ve guessed you were a jock too. I’m surprised you’re not wearing a letterman jacket or something just to make sure everyone knows who you are.”

His frown deepened. “Look, doll. I dunno what you think you know about me, or what you’ve heard-”

“I’ve never heard about you before you lent me a pen Tuesday. Which I appreciate and here it is back, by the way. But I know your type. I’ve been down that road. So excuse me for trying not to make the same mistake twice.”

He stared at the pen you set down by his bag, before his gaze flitted back to you, but you wouldn’t meet those pretty eyes of his. “Fine. Sue me for trying to get to know the new girl.”

“This is a mainly freshman class. Half the girls in here are new.”

“Yeah, but they’re chattering away with the posse they’ve already discovered.” He nodded over across the room. Your eyes scanned the lecture hall to find that he was right. Most girls were giggling and whispering to each other, no doubt freshman straight from high school. The others were most likely maturing sophomores. “And, hey, if you want extra reassurance I’m not trying to get you in my bed; I don’t fuck with freshman. Nothing against you or anything, just…straight outta high school and all that? Not really my jam.”

You eyed him, before shrugging and looking down to make sure you got the notes Coulson was starting to talk about. “Yeah, well, too bad I’m not straight out of high school, then.”

He tilted his head, an eyebrow raising in curiosity. “So you’re not a freshman. I didn’t think you were.”

“No, I am. But I took a year break between high school and college. But if you didn’t think I was a freshman, that reassurance doesn’t really work, now does it.” He opened his mouth to defend himself, but you continued, not wanting excuses. “What about you? You’re definitely not a freshman.”

“Nah. I’m a junior. I studied abroad for a semester last year and there were mishaps my freshman year, so I’ve got a few classes to make up. My friend had this class last year, so I just took all his notes. Coulson never changes his lectures. Pretty sure he doesn’t even change the tests.” You hummed, pretending you were barely listening when you really heard every word loud and clear. Bucky huffed, reaching out to grab your wrist gently, making you stop typing and look up to meet his eyes. “Can we start over? Please. I don’t know what type of guys you used to know or whatever and, yeah, I’ll admit I started the conversation like an idiot, but I promise I’m not that bad.”

Pursing your lips, you scanned his features, taking in the pleading eyes and the pouty lips. Clearing your throat, you took your hands off the keyboard, straightened a bit, and turned to him, holding out your hand, your full name falling from your lips.

The beam he gave you had you severely doubting your initial thoughts about him, his larger, calloused hand taking your eagerly. “James Barnes. Everyone calls me Bucky.”

You nodded, before starting to type again. “What are you studying?”

“Mechanical engineering.”

You paused, not expecting that answer. Maybe you were wrong - majorly wrong. “Really?”

“Yeah. I dunno. Technology’s always interested me and I like fixing cars and stuff; I work at an auto shop actually. I dunno what I’m gonna do with it yet, but it feels like a step in the right direction, ya know?”

“I’m afraid not.” You shook your head. “I have no idea what I’m doing.”

He chuckled, drumming his fingers against the table. “That’s alright, doll. I don’t think anyone does. They just think they do.”

“That’s…very true, actually.”

He grinned, running a hand through his hair again, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. “I told you: I’m not an idiot all the time. I swear.” That made you laugh.

Bucky talked to you throughout the rest of the class, never going above a whisper as he babbled about his other classes and how one of his friends, Sam, tripped down the stairs that morning. You were almost annoyed at him, but he was a very good conversationalist and he wasn’t distracting you too badly. There weren’t any awkward pauses while he stumbled around for something to talk about and if he wasn’t talking, it was a comfortable silence filled with Coulson’s voice, pen scribbling on paper, and the clicking of computer keys. He never pushed you for responses, either, only asking a couple questions, like where you worked and what other classes you had.

“Sorry if I’m bothering you.” He said a few minutes before class was over. “I’m just bored.”

“No. You’re fine.” Honestly, besides a few flirty comments and that pet name ‘doll’ popping up here and there, he wasn’t as bad as you were thinking.

He went quiet for a moment before clearing his throat, almost nervously. Your forehead creased as you snuck a glance at him. He licked his lips, a hand combing through his locks, scratching the back of his head. You wondered why he did that so often.

“So, uh, there’s this cabin in the woods by the lake about half an hour away…” His eyes widened at the weird look you shot him. “Oh fuck, that sounds so bad. No, no. It’s not - I’m not a serial killer or anything. My friend owns it. Well, technically his dad does, but it’s his. Anyways, he always throws a party the first weekend of a new semester. On Saturday. Noon to midnight. If you’d wanna come.”

You quirked an eyebrow, packing up your stuff as Coulson dismissed class early. “You’re asking me to go to your friend’s cabin in the woods-?”

He shook his head with a little laugh. “It sounds so sketchy. I promise it’s legit, though. Honest. You can ask anyone. It’s Tony Stark’s party. He holds one every-”

“You’re friends with Tony Stark?”

He nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Yeah. We’re in the same circle. I know how it sounds, but-”

“I’m working.” You cut him off, finding it amusing how he rambled. Who knew a fuckboy could get so nervous about asking a girl to a party. “But if you give me the address I’ll see if I can get some time off.”

“That’d be awesome. Yeah, yeah. Here.” He quickly grabbed the post-it note you handed to him and scribbled the address down. “It’d be really cool if you could make it.”

“I’ll try. Cross my heart.” You smiled, taking the paper from him. “I do have to go, though-”

“Oh right. Yeah. Work. I’ll see you this weekend, then. Maybe.” He grinned.

You bit your lip, nodding. “Maybe.”

As he started walking out, you looked down to grab your bag, the pen left on the table catching your attention. “Hey!” You called after him, making him turn around, walking backwards with that grin still on his lips. You lifted the writing utensil to show him. “Your pen!”

He shook his head. “Keep it! I don’t take notes in this class anyways!” He shot you a wink, before spinning on his heel, his hands in his pockets, whistling some random tune, without a care in the world.

**********************

“There she is! So?! How’s school been?! I wanna know!”

You grinned at Whitney as she bounced in, looking at you excitedly while going to wash her hands. “You’re working early today. It’s only 3.”

She shrugged. “They wanted me in before dinner rush tonight. Don’t dodge the question!”

“It’s been fine. I’ve met a couple people, doodled a few things, ignored syllabus talk - the usual.”

She sniggered, moving her eyebrows. “Any cute guys so far?” You thought back to your History lecture and Bucky, who confused the hell out of you. Whitney’s squeal pulled you out of your thoughts. “That’s a yes! Tell me about him immediately!”

“It’s not a ‘yes’. There’s nothing to tell.”

“But he is hot, right?”

You rolled your eyes, but your lips pulled up at the corners. “He’s…very easy on the eyes.”

Whitney gave an excited squeak, quickly drying her hands and putting on gloves before sliding up to you. “So? Tell me all about him.”

“Nothing to tell.”

“Bull.” She called out. “What’s his name?”

You huffed, focusing on the pizza you were making. “Bucky.”

She tried it out on her tongue before nodding. “Cute, cute. How old is he?”

“He’s a junior, so I’m guessing 20. Maybe 21 if his birthday was in the past week.”

Whitney hounded on you for every detail of your conversation, which you told her with some exception, leaving out the pen and some of the random stuff he told you. “So he’s a fuckboy?”

“Oh yeah. No doubt.”

“But he’s a charming fuckboy?”

“Mhmm.”

“And he’s not a dick?”

“So far.”

“So…he’s your type.”

You scoffed, giving her a look. “I don’t have a ‘type’.”

She gave you a bemused expression back. “Honey, it’s not a secret you like the charismatic guys that every girl swoons over. You just don’t swoon over them and that’s what makes you different.”

You scowled. “I don’t swoon over them because they don’t deserve my effort. And no. I don’t have a thing for them. I just…tend to get their attention more than other guys.”

“Because you don’t swoon over them.”

“Whitney-”

“Okay, okay. What happened next?”

You shrugged. “Nothing. He just sorta…talked the entire class. He did invite me to a party on Saturday though-”

“Oh my God! You have to go! College parties are the best! You’ll have so much fun!” She stopped to give you a serious look, pointing a finger towards you. “You’re going, right?”

“I dunno. Maybe. I’ve got to ask Phillips if I can get time off and I-I dunno if I even want to go.”

Whitney groaned, throwing her hands in the air and letting her head fall back. “This is the first party of your college life! There shouldn’t be any doubt!”

“Apparently Tony Stark is the one throwing it-”

“Are you fucking - you can’t not go!”

You snickered, Whitney’s persistence amusing you. “Again. It depends on Phillips. We’ll see. I promise.”

“At least tell me you got this guy’s number.”

“Nope.”

Whitney glared at you. “You are the absolute worst person to try getting drama out of, you know that? You’re not interested at all in this guy?”

You shrugged, turning to throw the pizza in. “Maybe. I wanna try out this whole friend thing first. Tommy’s the first real guy friend I’ve had since middle school and that’s mostly because he’s gay and we barely even talk outside work. I’ve never just…let myself take a break from dating before.”

A sigh came from the other girl, who reluctantly nodded. “That’s good, actually. Take a mental break. I respect that. But please, for the love of God, please try to have fun.”

You smirked, nodding. “I’ve told you, Whit. I know how to have fun. Don’t worry; if I do go to that party, I’ll have enough for both of us.”

“Yes! I have to live college through you now, so it’s your responsibility!”

You mockingly saluted. “I won’t let you down, babe.”

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pterodactylterrace · 3 years

Text

Guys Like You Chapter 11

Title: Guys Like You

Chapter: Chapter 11

Chapter Summary: I’ll be sure to mark this date down.

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Who would have guessed, I wrote another porn. So that, and tooth rotting fluff because I’m a soft slut.

{Prologue} {Chapter 1} {Chapter 2} {Chapter 3} {Chapter 4} {Chapter 5} {Chapter 6} {Chapter 7} {Chapter 8} {Chapter 9} {Chapter 10}

Henry really had thought of everything when he decided to 'redecorate' his home. Briar was in love with her Paw Patrol bedding and wasted no time in naming all the stuffed animals that now lined the shelf. She fawned over all of the new bedtime story books he had bought and stored in the night stand, quickly picking out her favorites, despite never having been read most of them. She squealed in delight when he turned on the fancy nightlight that projected different images onto the ceiling. He even got a couple spare changes of clothes for the girl.

While Faye loved the idea of him fumbling through the baby girl section, trying to figure out what size Briar wore, Henry confessed to ordering most everything online. He cited COVID as his reason for not going in person, but Faye had a feeling it was because he had no idea what he was doing in the girl's section. He only had two nieces, after all. He was just used to buying for boys instead. His nieces tended to have very specific wants. His brothers or his sisters-in-law told him what they wanted, and he supplied it.

That being said, he did a very good job preparing for a little girl. Faye found herself spending most of her time at his house after the first week. Henry only had a bag of dog food, a couple bowls for Kal and a dog bed at her house. He claimed it was all he needed to be comfortable, but Faye knew otherwise.

On the days they had stayed at his house, Briar almost never let him out of her sight. She loomed across the kitchen when he would try to cook. She stared at him while he read. She lurked while he played video games. Finally Henry invited her to watch him, the little girl all too happy to perch herself on his knee, happily cheering him on despite not knowing what was going on in the game. The few nights they spent back at their own home, Briar demanded to call Henry every night so he knew she was behaving for Mommy.

Henry was even thoughtful enough to clear out a drawer in his bathroom for Faye. She'd lived with a man before, and she always had to fight for her own drawer in the bathroom. She wasn't even asking much. She had a relatively small make up back considering her profession. She only wanted a place to store that, and her feminine necessities. Henry already had those in the drawer for when she needed them. All she had left to do was chuck her spare make up bag, a few hair ties and a brush into her drawer, and she was good to go.

Not to mention, the man had a trash can already in his bathroom. One that he knew existed. Even her father would regularly forget about the trash can in the bathroom growing up. Every Tuesday, he would go through the house and empty each of the smaller bins so he could take all the trash out to the side of the road for trash pick up day. Every Wednesday, her mother would ask him if he got all the trash cans. Every time he would assure that he emptied all of them. Then she would ask about the bathroom and he would stare at her blankly before finally mumbling a small 'oh'.

Finally, Faye reached a point where she couldn't hold it in anymore; her heart was about to explode if she didn't let it out. Henry had just put Briar and Kal off to bed when he found her, a crying mess on the couch. Naturally, his first instinct was to panic. Was she hurt? Did he forget something important? Was it their anniversary? Did they even have one? They've only been involved for a few months, right? Was he ignoring her? Did she feel like he was pushing her aside again? Ultimately, he took his brother's sage like advice that had been freely given at each of his other's brother's weddings.

"Faye, while I don't know exactly what I did wrong, I can see that you are upset, and I am sorry."

"For what?" She sniffled, popping her head up from her knees all to quickly.

"I don't know." Henry admitted, cautiously sitting next to her.

"Henry, I'm not upset. I'm the happiest I've been in a long time." Faye explained, only furthering Henry's confusion.

"Then why are you crying?" He asked slowly, growing more and more uncomfortable by the second. He knew females could be complicated, but how could you be happy and crying at the same time? Those were two opposite emotions, weren't they?

"I'm just really happy." Faye wiped at her eyes, scooting closer to Henry to lean against him.

"That doesn't explain why you are crying..."

"Haven't you ever been so happy you cried?"

"I've been so happy it's brought a tear to my eye, yes. Never full out sobbing like something horrible just happened. I thought I forgot an anniversary or something!"

"We don't have one." Faye pointed out, as Henry wrapped his arm around her shoulder to pull her closer.

"I'm sure we do."

"We never officially agreed to be exclusive or anything."

"Have you been doing things I should be aware of?" Henry asked, raising a brow as he looked down at her.

"No. Have you?"

"Of course not. I was under the impression we've been a thing for a while now. Unlike some people."

"You never said anything! You can't just decide we're a thing without telling me!"

"Well do you want this to be a thing?"

"Well, I wouldn't mind it..."

"Then let's just retro date it. What was a significant even between us? Me meeting Briar?"

"No, we just flirted a lot back then."

"True."

"When you asked me to spend more time here?"

"That's way too recent. We've definitely been involved longer than that. What about that night on the couch? When you started dry humping me during the movie?"

"That was a fun night." Faye sighed wistfully.

"Certainly sticks out to me." Henry agreed.

"Deal. We'll figure out what day that was and that can be our anniversary."

"I need to put it in my phone. If I forget I get the feeling I won't ever hear the end of it."

"Do you even know when my birthday is?" Faye asked suddenly, twisting in his embrace to look up at him."

"That would be another good date to put in my calendar."

"What about Briar's birthday?"

"Ok, that one I know! You invited me over to help make her a cake. And then Briar led me into your room right after you'd finished showering. God, that ass..."

"Focus, Romeo!" Faye giggled, playfully swatting at his shoulder.

"Ugh, not Romeo. Choose a different story, I don't want us to end up dead over a misunderstanding."

"Uhh... I'm drawing a blank. You go first."

"You started it, you go first."

"You know, it's getting kinda late, I should go shower before I get too tired." Faye excused herself, slipping from his grip and scurrying out of his reach before he could snatch her up again.

"You, Miss Warren, are a tease." Henry pouted, flopping himself against the back of the couch.

"I am no such thing." Faye gasped, slowly peeling her shirt up over her head. She let it fall silently to the floor, annoyed when her actions went unnoticed. She was in no mood to be ignored.

This time, she reached behind herself, unhooking her bra and slinging it at him, the supportive garment landing directly on his face. It took Henry a second to realize what was going on, picking it up and straightening it out, his mind quickly connecting the dots once he realized what it was. He was on his feet in an instant, growling as he chased his laughing prey down the hall.

He snatched her up around her waist just before she could reach the door, playfully biting at the junction of her neck. "Got you, you little minx." He growled, pressing a kiss to the mark he had left.

"Well that means you get to lay claim to me." Faye giggled, reaching back to cup the back of his neck, pulling his head down for an awkwardly angled kiss.

"Bedroom." Henry muttered against her lips, blindly reaching for the knob and pushing the door open. He set Faye down, swatting at her ass as she slipped by, eagerly following and locking the door behind themselves. By the time he had yanked his shirt off, Faye had already pushed her sweats and panties down, crawling up the bed and giving him a view he never wanted to forget, her glistening peach peeking out from between her thighs, her ass swaying delightfully as she moved.

"Condom?" Faye asked, settling herself down in the middle of the bed, propped up on her elbows.

"Side table." Henry responded, nodding to the table on his side of the bed as he got to work shedding the rest of his clothing. "They better fucking be in date." He added after a second of thought.

"How long have you had them?" Faye snorted, digging through the drawer until she came up with the foil packet.

"Not a clue. They haven't been seeing much use in the last year or so."

"COVID?"

"Fucking COVID." Henry grumbled, crawling onto the edge of the bed, his eyes slowly drinking her in. He grabbed her by the ankle, reverently uncrossing her legs, his strong hands kneading into the arch of her foot as he laid gentle kisses along the ink decorating the top of it. "What's this called?" He asked, his fingers brushing across the design.

"Mandala." Faye explained, Henry nodding and pressing a gentle kiss to it and slowly sliding his hands up, crossing over to her other leg to trace his fingers over the owl.

"This is an owl." He stated definitively, pressing another kiss to her artwork. He then slid up more, nudging her arm out of his way to look more closely at the mermaid he had found before, letting his fingers trace over it, causing Faye to giggle and squirm. "And here is a ticklish little mermaid." He teased, kissing across her torso, just beneath her bare breasts, craning his neck and smiling proudly "Ah ha! I thought I saw something over there." He mumbled proudly, pressing a kiss to the small butterfly on that side of her ribcage, eliciting another giggle from the woman trapped below him. "A ticklish little butterfly! Any others around here?" He asked, pressing kisses back across her torso, wrapping his lips around a nipple when she shook her head.

His tongue flicked against the rapidly hardening bud, grabbing onto her arms and pinning them down when she began to squirm more beneath him.

"Now then, I know about this one." He continued, lifting her right hand to kiss at the leaves and vines wrapping around her wrist and thumb. "And you showed me this one." He pressed an almost reverent kiss to the inside of her forearm, gently moving her arms up over her head. "Now, I can think of one more..." He mumbled, sliding a hand beneath Faye's hip and flipping her over onto her stomach all too easily, managing to keep her trapped beneath him the entire time. "And that's back here." His fingers traced along the black and white depiction of a tree, winding along her spine, its branches reaching up to her shoulders.

"Any others I should know about?" He asked, sliding his hand beneath Faye's hips, trailing lower to slide his fingers through the slick heat gathering between her thighs.

"That's all." Faye moaned, grinding down into his probing fingers.

"You do have quite a few, Miss Warren." Henry finally conceded, his hand sliding back just far enough to roll her back onto her back. "But I would consider this a work of art as well." He purred, diving in to kiss and suck at her slick folds shamelessly.

"Oh shit." Faye panted, her back arching at the sudden stimulation. "Fuck, Henry. I want you now."

"Patience, Miss Warren. I'm going to need you nice and relaxed before you try and take me."

"Damnit, Henry!" Faye growled, using her legs to pull his face even closer to her core, effectively silencing him with her pussy for the time being. "I can sink the Titanic with how fucking wet I am. Now."

"So bossy." Henry tutted, using the leverage he had against her to push her knees almost to her chest, eagerly diving back in, licking, sucking and kissing like a starving man at a feast.

"Fuuuuck." Faye groaned, gripping the sheets with one hand, the other trying to grip the hair on the back of his head, only to be met with fuzz. "Damnit all!" She hissed, cupping the back of his head instead to pull him closer. Henry was all to happy to comply with her demands, even slipping two fingers inside her dripping entrance, curling them in search of the sensitive spot he knew was there, grinning triumphantly when she started squirming harder. One part of her wanted to go up into his teasing mouth. The other wanted to go down onto his wandering fingers.

Henry finally took mercy on her, latching onto her bundle of nerves and sucking hard, his tongue flicking over it as his fingers tapped out a rhythm inside of her, easily sending her toppling over the edge, leaving her a panting mess below him.

"I think you're relaxed enough now." He taunted playfully, gently moving to let her lay flat on the bed.

"I want dick." Faye panted, glaring up at him as he attempted to innocently open the condom, shooting what she assumed was meant to be a wink her way.

"What a coincidence, I just so happen to have one right here, wrapped and ready to go."

"Shut up and fuck me." Faye groaned, rolling her eyes at his antics. Of course, he would manage to still be a dork in the middle of having sex.

"Would you like to stay on your back, or do you want to try something else?"

"I don't have the energy to bounce around on your cock right now."

"Alrighty then." He half laughed, nudging her knees apart to make room for himself, caging her in below his body once again. "This might sting a bit." He advised, gripping himself by the base, sliding the head of his cock between her swollen petals. He slowly pressed inside, rocking his way in until the tip of his cock was pressed firmly against her cervix.

"Are you alright?" Henry asked, wincing when her nails dug even harder into his shoulders.

"Yeah." Faye forced out, trying to slow her breathing. "I'm actively being split in half, but yeah."

"I'm sorry." Henry murmured softly, peppering her face with kisses as he began to roll his hips. Not full on thrusting, no. He saved that for when she started to squirm beneath him, trying to get him to press against all the right spots inside her. Then and only then did he rise up onto his knees, holding her up by her hips to pound into her, her nails now scratching at the sheets.

"Fuck, right there!" Faye gasped, her back arching when he brushed against a particularly sensitive area. "Fuck, don't stop, don't stop!" Henry's head fell back at her pleading, loving how she kept begging for more, her pleas devolving until only his name, 'please' and 'more' fell from her lips.

"Come on, cum all over my cock. Let me watch you come undone." Henry encouraged, slamming into her harder until he felt her walls clenching around him, her head thrown back as she begged him to keep going. Henry didn't last long past her orgasm, finishing himself only a few thrusts later.

"We did it." Faye panted as Henry slowly withdrew, careful to tie the condom off and toss it into the bathroom trashcan.

"Did what?" Henry inquired as he crawled back into bed, letting Faye curl into his side and pulling the blanket over both of them.

"We finally had sex."

"I shall be sure to also mark this date on my calendar."

"Dork."

"Yes, but I'm your dork."

Taglist: @Xxxkatxo @Weallhaveadestiny @lunedelorient

#henry cavill #henry cavill x ofc #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill rpf #guys like you #guys like you fic

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tundrainafrica · 3 years

Text

Title: A Tale of Two Slaves (16/17)

Summary: “Soulmates don’t exist. Fate doesn’t exist. Everything is a choice.” At that moment, Levi could only watch as she made the choice for him.“

Reincarnation AU. Levi remembers everything from their past life. Hange doesn’t.

Other Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Link to cross-postings: AO3

Note:

I know I said on tumblr I was planning on ending the story today and apologies for dragging this out longer.

The final chapter is already written out but editing is gonna take me an extra hour or so. Also, this week has been hectic, work especially has been very hectic since I'm covering a job for 3 people now while they hire. I ended up getting a little sick today so I decided to put off a lot of the asks and postings until Sunday.

I could post the final chapter earliest, tomorrow night. Latest, I'll be posting the final chapter is Wednesday. I wanna get it out soon but there are still a lot of stuff I'm hoping to fix up so, apologies for not meeting the expectations.

Thank you so much for reading though. It really means a lot to me.

As always, feedback is very much appreciated.

“You can take a seat Hange.” Shela’s voice was gentle. She had taken her time pronouncing every syllable.

Still, something jumped inside Hange as she heard it. She gathered herself together and willed herself to make eye contact. “Sorry about that...I got a little distracted,” she said. She was starting to get a little self conscious. Did she actually jump? Was her tone too jittery? Were her eyes too wide?

The woman in front of her seemed unfazed as if she was watching Hange do something so normal as to just stare at the room in front of her for a long few seconds. Still, Hange avoided her gaze and looked around as she made her way towards the sofa.

Levi had only ever talked about how much of a hassle and how much of a pain the whole process of going to therapy was. Over time, he had started ditching the sessions altogether. Consequently, Hange had expected an atmosphere that would make her feel a little more restrained than what she had felt then.

It turned out just entering the room made her feel the complete opposite of what she had expected.

Shela’s office was more spacious than Hange had imagined it to be. Or more full of life.

Filled with too much life in a way that Hange couldn’t understand. But it seemed to hold more than the average doctor’s office she’d been to. Maybe it was the paintings on the wall or the wooden bookshelf that stood so tall and wide it was an omnipresent in the room.

Either way, it was comfortable and Hange chalked it to the rustic feel of the room. The ambiance was just too strange, the shades of the wallpaper, the rustic carpeted floor was too indulgent of her senses and she could have been taking a little more time than necessary to get to her seat.

It looked like Shela followed suit. By the time Hange had settled on the chair, Shela had still been on her way.

Shela leaned forward from her seat and reached out a hand in greeting. She seemed excited, too excited. “It’s nice to finally be able to talk to you like this, Hange Zoe,�� she said.

That excitement in her voice was enough at least to pull Hange’s focus away from the ambiance of the room and towards the woman in front of her. A clear reminder that she was there for a reason.

Or two reasons. Hange corrected herself as she pulled out her file. “Thank you so much for agreeing to go through this with me,” she said. “Since Levi started having sessions with you, we kept in touch so at least we had some history beforehand… And given your background, I thought you might be the best person to give me some extra content on my thesis.”

“For your review of related literature?”

Hange nodded. “It’s not yet done. I did research already on the biological aspect but I thought you might have information on the psychological aspects of it…” She pulled out a folder from her bag and slid the file towards Shela.

Shela was quick to scan through the title. “Looks interesting. What made you pick this topic?”

“Many things...” Hange said. “I thought I would be able to help more people doing this type of thesis. And maybe I can take further studies and---”

“Does this have anything to do with Levi?” . Shela raised one eyebrow at her.

“Oh? Was it obvious?” Hange asked. She deemed it futile to have even denied it then.

Shela started to flip through the pages of the draft a little quicker. “It’s been a while since I’ve heard from him. He never replied to any of my texts.” She stood up, gesturing for Hange to continue talking as she made her way to the shelf at the back of the room.

“He went home,” Hange said. There was an awkward pause for a few seconds and she felt some inclination to fill it herself. “Back to his hometown,” she added. “He probably wanted to spend his birthday with them, or maybe Christmas. I guess this is a good time for him to go home… He---”

“So Hange, do you wanna talk about Levi? Or would you like to talk about your thesis?” The way Shela said it was far from abrasive.

From her position, Hange couldn’t even tell what face Shela was making. Yet she found herself a little shaken, particularly self conscious she was taking up precious office time. And for a few seconds longer, Hange struggled to find the right words. “There are things I wanted to ask about… Like definitely, I told you I need to discuss the psychological aspect and…”

“Well, from what I’m seeing, this didn’t need a session. I could have emailed you the pdf file of my thesis and just answered if you had any questions.”

Hange only noticed then as Shela walked back to her seat that she had pulled out two binders from one of the bookshelves.

“If you need any more sources for your thesis, you can read through this.” Shela placed the binders on the table and flipped to the last page of the thicker one. “And you can check through my bibliography for any more sources and I’m sure you’ll figure the rest out on your own. Levi told me you were a pretty good researcher growing up…”

Hange felt the blood rush to her face. That only made it harder to grasp for the right words. “When was your last session with Levi?” There were many other things Hange would have wanted to ask then. Her mouth just wouldn’t cooperate.

“A little more than a month ago. A few weeks before your finals. “ Shela answered. She rested her elbows on her lap, her chin on her hands.

“Finals ended more than two weeks ago. I was hoping he talked to you before he left.”

Shela shook her head. “No word from him.” She must have sensed the disappointment in Hange’s face because only a second later, she continued. “But maybe going home would be good for him. He might find someone to talk to there.” Her tone was cold, disconnected and it didn’t look like she believed it herself though.

“I know you would tell him to write, he told me that much about your sessions. But did he ever tell you about his stories?”

“Commander Zoe and Captain Levi?”

Hange nodded. “Oh, he did. You see, I wanted to talk to you about that. But I don’t know either whether or not I should be talking to his therapist about this...But I’m worried.”

“Why?”

“He deleted the file.”

If Shela was shocked, she didn’t show it. The only hint to any emotion in the room had been the short silence that followed. “I suspected he’d do that much,” she said.

“Suspect that much? Did he tell you something? Was there something wrong with his writing? Is he okay?”

Shela shook her head. “ I’m not in a place to tell.”

“Why did he get so attached to his stories? Why did it affect him so much that he couldn’t even accept a death?”

“I’m sorry Hange, I don’t wanna waste your time here so I’ll be upfront with you. What Levi and I talk about here stays between us.”

“I respect that.” Hange expected the answer, still she kept her tone long and drawn. She still found herself clinging to some hope that there was something Shela could share.. “I want to know though… Is this because of the injury? He lost a lot because of that and I know I was somehow involved with it but I just can’t shake off this feeling of guilt. ”

Shela sighed. “You know, I may not be able to tell you what we talked about. But I’m sure you know more about this than I do. You might even be able to contribute more insights to this discussion than I can,” she said. “Tell me Hange, what went on after our last therapy session. Did he really have finals?”

“Yes we did. I was busy too so I didn’t think too much of it then but the weeks leading up to finals are usually more hectic for any student….”

“Would you know if he still continued to write after the finals?”

“He did.”

“You seem sure.”

“He shared the document.” Hange started. She unlocked her phone and opened her drive document. It wouldn’t be there, she was sure of that but she could have saved it and it would have still been there. She forced a smile as her mouth threatened to curl down. Hange was still scolding herself for wasting such an opportunity. She let her phone fall carelessly on the coffee table in front of her and leaned back on the sofa. “So I got to read it.”

“Did Captain Levi really die?” Shela asked.

“No. Commander Hange did.”

“So before he deleted it, Commander Hange died?”

“That was the last chapter I read. Then an hour or so later, I confronted him about it, he asked me to leave me alone, then the next thing I know he deleted the file.” Hange leaned her head back on the backrest and stared up at the ceiling. “But you know, he didn’t want to believe that Hange died. She burned alive, he described it so vividly in his writing but he kept telling me, she didn’t die.

“Oh?”

“If someone burned alive, they should be dead right? Maybe there was a sequel to it that he just didn’t write yet.”

“But if Hange were alive, wouldn’t Levi have seen it through instead of doing something so rash as to delete the whole thing? Levi has a tendency of…”

Running away? Not processing things? Hange looked back at Shela and nodded slowly.

Shela seemed distracted. She was staring at something upward, mumbling to herself as if finding the right words to say. “Trying not to regret things,” she added a few seconds later.

“Regret… I noticed that. With the jumping and the injury but I wanted to ask you, if you think the story is somehow connected to how he’s processing his injury.”

“I have theories but they’re not mine to tell. Have you asked Levi yourself?”

Hange was almost tempted to laugh. That seemed like the only way her body knew how to process the last week alone in the dorm. She had sent three texts, a question about when he had gone home, a birthday greeting and a New Year’s greeting. “I don’t think he wants to talk to me anymore,” Hange said. She avoided Shela’s gaze. Somehow, her heart was racing then, her blood was rushing to her face much faster than usual and she found herself curling her fists into a ball, finding some semblance of control in them. Was she ashamed that Levi wasn’t talking to her? She shook her head. “But you know, I can try to talk to Levi.”

“What about this… I’ll contact Levi when he comes back. I’ll try to get his side of what’s been happening. Maybe I can even get him to reply.”

“Are you sure you can’t tell me anything now? Maybe even something vague. I can try to figure the rest out for myself,” Hange said. She couldn’t tell then if she had raised her voice.

Shela didn’t seem shaken at all. She shook her head again. “This is between me and my patients.”

Hange had integrity, she understood confidentiality clauses. She had been researching all her life though, and that side of her still continued to fight. Maybe if the hints weren’t all there, poking at her, just provoking, she would have given up much more easily “I just wanna understand it, I wanna understand him. Even if we don’t talk after this. Even if Levi wants to end this, you know I’m fine. I just wanna figure out for myself why he acted that way. I’m worried.”

Shela cocked her head to the side, her expression unchanging. “Believe me, I’m worried too but I can’t say much. Levi’s my patient and whatever we talk about in this room is between us.” She pushed the two binders on the table towards Hange and continued. “But I don’t want to leave you empty handed. I wrote two pieces for my dissertation which you might find useful, something personal and something professional, I can send over a copy of both of them to you over email. Or if you want a hard copy, you could have this photocopied in the library nearby. What do you think works for you?”

The digression had Hange’s lips trembling then. Shela knew things she didn’t for sure and Hange found herself tempted to even curse silently at that confidentiality clause.

She opened the cover to find the title page in black ink, in one of the most readable fonts.

Signs that suggest the reality of reincarnation and its manifestations in patients.

You got what you wanted. Hange thought to herself as she scanned the title page of the document in front of her. It was a cold and professional title. The researcher inside her should have been satisfied. But she wasn’t. She wasn’t ungrateful either. “Thank you, I’ll make sure to read it,” she said. It was still help anyway.

Another, much thinner book was pushed next to it.

Musings on a Past Life: Written by Kuchel Ackerman

“This is my own personal copy,” Shela explained. “It’s not something you should be emulating when doing research but… I thought it could give you some insight to your thesis.

“Okay, if I have some extra time, I’ll---”

No actually, let’s make this your little homework. I want you to read both pieces. And if you get a chance to talk to Levi again…”

Shela probably said something after that. At that point though, Hange was somewhere else. She had pulled the thinner document towards her and propped it on her lap, and scanned through it. She only had to read through the first paragraph on one of the final pages to understand why it wouldn’t have passed up as anything academic.

She wasn’t rattling off procedures, scientific speculations or statistical procedures. She was painting pictures of dark streets, cramped streets and a shabby one bedroom alone with a baby. She spoke of soft skin, a baby scent that never faded and illness. She reflected on loss, regret all manifesting in that last face she saw before she fell asleep for the final time.

A teary eyed face. A shaken voice begging at her not to fall asleep. And then nothing.

Maybe there was darkness, darker than the ceiling of the underground, darker than the room that had been hers and her child.

That was left to mercy of Hange’s speculation.

It was only when she was alone in the dorm, two days after, did she reopen it. It had taken her more time than necessary to finish it and maybe it had been because she had ended up rereading whole paragraphs, flipping pages back more times than she could count.

And it was only then, after finishing that personal file did she feel compelled enough to read the official output.

She opened a page, towards an introduction, a foreword or a message. Possibly all of those at once. But it connected so seamlessly to Kuchel’s own musings.

A False Bottom.

All humans feel. Even when they say they don’t, they feel something.

Human psyche is an endless blackhole of emotions, knowledge and experiences….

There are still things psychologists cannot comprehend about the human psyche. All we can do is endeavor to make sense of it…

With this thesis, the researcher proposes that one possible explanation for unpredictable bouts of emotion, out-of-character decisions, the phenomena of irrationality is the phenomena of reincarnation…

Manifestations of our past life.

“And maybe there are emotions that transcend our worldly experiences. Maybe there are emotions that transcend the constraints of time, place and life.. It’s just a matter of believing that false bottom exists and embracing it when it manifests itself.”

And how many times did Hange allow those words to echo inside her as she sifted through page after page. Enough times at least to have her open a blank document.

As she soon found out, it wasn’t easy at all to embrace the blank document. She was completely aware she didn’t have to open the blank document, she had a half filled one already, having started on her own thesis a while back.

But something had willed her to do just that. Something inside her that wanted answers to questions, and it begged for them, clamored for them and Hange was starting to forget who even asked it. She? Or Kuchel?

Musings of a Past Life. Hange had typed out the title days ago already. Maybe it wasn’t easy because it wasn’t her past life to write. It was Levi’s past.

Or so that was what Levi claimed when he wrote it. “Ugh…. What the hell am I doing?” Hange removed her headphones, closed her eyes tight, inhaled then exhaled. “Okay Hange. You wanted to write this thesis for Levi right? You read his whole story. This should be easy.”

She just needed to write enough to remember his story. Enough to at least shoehorn him into her own thesis.

“And after that, you never have to think about him again,” Hange said. She opened her phone again and stared at the last sent message.

January 3 6:21 AM

Wanna talk when you get back?

“I wonder…. Did you talk to Shela?” Hange asked quietly, almost to herself. But Shela would have told her right? But what if Levi told her not to tell? What if he just wanted to cut it off already?

It was an idea Hange didn’t want to entertain just yet. Thesis was looming, graduation was hanging over her head like some sort of dark cloud. She didn’t have time to deal with heartbreak.

So in the wee hours of morning, Hange composed a quick last message to Levi.

January 5 2:23 AM

Hey, I’m sorry about everything. I should have been more sensitive to your needs. Even if you don’t wanna meet after this, it’s fine. I had a great time working with you and I’ll remember these past few months :D. I’m just sorry I couldn’t be more helpful.

Just assure me please. Did you get to talk to someone? I hope you did. I was just concerned. But it doesn’t matter too much now. As long as you’re okay.

And the next few actions after that were automatic.

Settings. Profile. Ignore Messages.

She had more important things to think about then. She had to admit, her inbox was starting to look a bit better without that thread she was constantly checking that had a string of messages that had been so pathetically ignored.

That last decision and the last few actions leading up to it had sapped more energy from Hange than she had expected it to. Or maybe it was the dim light of the early morning and the small yet strong light of her lamp that had her realizing how exhausted she had been then.

She switched off the lamp and fell back on the bed. The impact had shaken her to the bone and Hange found herself sinking into the mattress. She was happy to let it swallow her then.

The night was surprisingly bright. Yet, at the same time it had been a dark night, she was sure. She traced the sources of the light on the ceiling above. The light painted triangles, squares and straight cut angles. There were spots from other sources, maybe where the moon bounced on some glass objects.

Hange was too exhausted to sit up to see those refractions for herself.

She may have been too exhausted then to type in front of a computer or even sit up in bed so instead, she continued to count spots, trace the dim weak rays in the ceiling of her room, as she traced them back to the wide window, all the way to the point where she would have to crane her head to see what lay beyond. She soon realized, she still wasn’t tired enough to doze off.

The gears in her brain continued to turn. And they had only started to turn faster with all the intricate patterns the moonlight had created as it shone through the wide window of her dormitory room.

Should she close the curtains so she could get a good night's sleep? That question only occupied her for a second or so before she thought of something else.

And maybe there are sensations that transcend our worldly experiences. Maybe there are emotions that transcend the constraints of time, place and life. It’s just a matter of believing that false bottom exists and embracing it when it breaks open.

But if these emotions transcended worldly experiences, if they transcended life, then they should be unfathomable, not worth the effort of understanding.

Hange though, had been a researcher for as long as she could remember. She had mottos. She had habits. She had unshakable ways of thinking.

Turning to her side was easy. It was a quick, comfortable movement and maybe she had done it to sleep better. Or maybe she had done it to just get a better angle of the stream of moonlight that entered through the window.

Her desk sat on a familiar angle. Her laptop was open but turned off. Her bag slung over the chair.

The stream from the moonlight shone over her canvas bag and down to the floor. It created a web of intricate patterns, patterns that had Hange hypnotized at that moment. They were angular yet they were round and it would have taken hours for Hange to trace them in her exhausted state.

Yet they were hypnotizing enough for her not to want to look away. So in an effort to keep up with the challenge the moonlight had given her at that moment, she continued to reflect as she traced at it with her eyes.

False bottoms. Sensations that transcend worldly experiences, Emotions that transcend the constraints of time and space.

“But if they are things that transcend human comprehension, then how do we make sense of them?”

Ironically, it had been in the most intricate of patterns that Hange saw the answer. It had been in something so mundane that Hange had to blink twice and question it for a second longer.

“Dreams?” Hange asked, barely a whisper.

If there’s something you don’t understand, go out and learn to understand it.

She didn’t understand Levi’s dreams. She didn’t understand how his mind worked. She didn’t understand the stories he had written out.

There were things she didn’t understand for sure but there were things she remembered.

And maybe all she needed to understand something, was the right amount of hints, the right amount of crumbs to make sense of it herself. Maybe all she needed was the review of related literature, the observations and her own analysis to write a conclusion.

The dreamcatcher hung aimlessly from her canvas bag like it always did. It had been something almost unnoticeable before. Only in the night when the moon shined on it, when it had etched a large shadow on the floor, possibly even a hundred times larger than the small keychain in her bag did Hange think about it again.

And she thought about it hard enough to reach for it from the side off her bed. She stretched her hand farther and farther and in the dark, her sense of distance may have been a little worse.

She thought she had been almost there and she was pulled back into that cruel reality in a single moment, with a loud painful thud.

“Ow!” Hange quickly got up, a result of that adrenaline rush from the harrowing experience of a painful fall from her bed. She unfastened the dream catcher from her bag, on the way back to the bed, she grabbed her phone, her earphones and sat on her bed.

That time, she eased herself onto the bed and under the covers.

She held the dreamcatcher above her, tracing the purple, the green. She knew they were purple and green but under the moonlight they seemed almost blue, and maybe she could have even mistaken the purple and green for one another.

Her only hint to the shades after all were the way they reflected the moonlight on themselves.

Eventually, her arms got tired, still aching from that painful fall. She slipped the dream catcher under her pillow and turned on her side. She put one earphone on her left ear, another on her right and she turned on her phone and shuffled her music.

The dormitory was silent with everyone gone for the holidays.

Eerily silent. She was used to living alone, it wasn’t anything new. But recently, she had frequently found herself missing him, maybe missing her parents, she started to realize the silence, the isolation that came with it was almost unbearable.

So maybe she had been listening to music, maybe she had been talking to herself a little more.

And those dreams, they probably would help. Hange thought to herself as she set her phone to her side, a good distance from the edge of the bed.

She had dreamt enough to know, she couldn’t control dreams. But if they did come, they would come in hints, puzzle pieces and maybe something she could easily write down in the morning.

So she willed them to come in that silent night. She whispered to Commander Zoe. She pressed that dream catcher one more time.

Hange closed her eyes, adjusted the volume of the music and evened her breathing.

The dreams would choose when to come, if they chose to come at all. All she could do was trust in them.

***

Levi would have liked to blame the snow for his inability to concentrate.

It was fucking loud. The patter came too randomly, Levi struggled to find patterns in it. For a few seconds at a time, the snow would patter on the window in big loud waves. Other times, the snow came in plip plops reminiscent of a rainy spring day. A few times, it shifted to something slow and gentle Levi could have used it to lull himself to sleep.

It was a piece of music on rubato, and the musician was just a little too keen on leaving his audience unhinged.

And just that quick thought at least absolved Levi of any blame. He didn’t feel too much self loathing then. Just utter frustration and maybe a pinch of sadness.

The document in front of him was just a mish mash black words on white paper and for the life of him, he couldn’t imagine they could be anything else. The top section was descriptive, very descriptive that he should have been able to do so much as to smell the whore house. He should have been able to grieve the loss of a mother.

But it was just black on white.

So Levi scrolled down three pages to find a source of investment elsewhere. He found vivid descriptions of life on a wheelchair, a frequented grave but for the life of him, he couldn’t even imagine the large tree above, or the vivid descriptions of airplanes on the blue sky.

But it was just words on paper.

“What do you think?” Hange asked. She looked at him expectantly. “It’s not a lot… I’ve just been working on this in between my thesis and I don’t have much going for me but my own memories… But I rewrote some bullet points while I was trying to remember it and I just thought you know if I put my own writings in between what you have so far...maybe it could help you process it.”

“Process... it?”

“But if you don’t wanna think about it, it’s fine.”

Remember? Levi wanted to remember. Those weren’t black pixels on white pixels, conveniently strung together to make symbols. They were vivid descriptions of another world, another life for sure. But why couldn’t he bring himself to invest in it… Anymore?

“Maybe I just need a break,” Levi set aside the laptop on the side table and leaned back on the bed.

“You’re tired, injured. You could even get sick,” Hange said. “I don’t expect you to think too much of it, I just thought it would help pass the time.” She looked away guiltily.

“I’m not angry about you forcing me to get my knee checked again. Jumping in the dead of winter with a sprained knee was a stupid move.”

“I know it was. But I also know you’re probably tired of hospitals already.”

“I am tired of hospitals. But you were right. When they tested my knee, it didn’t feel right. I’m pretty sure I tore something again.”

“It was swelling… And I knew we could have just iced it but, you know you jumped pretty high, you ran pretty fast, it’s kinda scary you did that with your knee... In the middle of winter of all times of the year? God---Levi, What were you thinking? Armin told me he’d stop by the field to pick up Mikasa’s things so you know if I didn’t go out to meet him just in case he got lost, I probably wouldn’t have made it. At least Armin had half the mind to text me when you wouldn’t listen to him…” Hange trailed off. “But I wish I had arrived earlier, maybe I could have stopped you.”

“You wouldn’t have convinced me not to jump,” Levi said.

“Why do you say that?”

“No one would have convinced me. I was dead set on jumping that one last time.”

“Why did you wanna jump?”

“Closure.” It was a simple answer to a simple question. But as Levi enunciated each syllable, he became a little self conscious about how pretentiously short that answer had been. It was closure, he was sure but there were layers to that answer he couldn’t comprehend for himself in that moment.

Hange seemed to sense it too. She narrowed her eyes at him and opened her mouth ready to speak before she closed it again and let her eyes fall on the hospital bed. “Couldn’t you find closure elsewhere? Did you have to risk your knee for it?”

“What do you know? ” Levi ran his eyes over his thighs and up to his knee propped on a few pillows. He started to feel the beginnings of guilt a second later. His intention never was to offend.

What do you know? That question had been for him.

You didn’t live your whole college life jumping only to end up in a state where you can barely walk. Was that what Hange heard? Maybe. She looked like she did. After all, she was blushing then. As if she had been aware of that slight vulnerability, she bit her lip, looked away and stretched out over the side of the bed to get back her laptop.

Levi felt obligated to reassure her. “You know I don’t intend to jump again. I wish I could. But I think that last jump helped me accept that that part of my life is over.”

“So, what next?” Hange asked. “Erwin mentioned you could get surgery to fix the partial tear.”

Levi shook his head. “And skip more school then hope I can jump again? The surgery isn't necessary. The knee can heal on its own.”

“But what about other---”

“Jumping opportunities? Other athletic opportunities? I said, that part of my life is over.”

“You had a lot of talent you know.”

“You’re not the first person to say that.”

Hange managed a smile, a smile that was far from happy. But at the least, it could be contagious. “Then it was an honor to see you fly that one last time Captain Levi.”

Levi could have sworn he saw something glisten as she crinkled her eyes, a supplement to her wry smile. “I was never the captain of my team. You know that,” he said.

“That wasn’t what I meant---” Hange had been meaning to finish, or at least she looked like it. The knock on the door though had been loud and it tore through that soft conversation.

Hange stood up from her seat and opened the door slowly.

“Erwin told me you too would be here. I finished up early today so I thought I’d pop in.”

Levi nodded in greeting. He had been too ashamed to say anything else. But he was determined at least to show some respect.

“It looks like you two are talking again. Doctor Erwin told me what happened and I thought…” The moment Kuchel made eye contact with Levi, her eyes widened. “Levi… You…”

Levi found himself particularly self conscious then, he looked down at his thick sweater, at his knee. “I sprained my knee again.”

Kuchel was quick to recover. “I noticed that much,” she said. “I was talking about…” She gave him a long awkward onceover. She shook her head.

She wasn’t the only one who seemed uncomfortable then. Hange hadn’t looked back at him since Kuchel had entered the room. Her whole disposition had somehow changed in that few seconds.

“You okay?” Levi asked.

Hange didn’t answer. She booted her laptop again and angled it towards Kuchel who had approached them and set a chair next to his bed.

“It looks like you managed to let go already Captain Levi.” Kuchel said, as she cocked her head to the side and smiled.

Captain Levi. The words whispered once again inside him, too softly Levi found it easy to brush it away. “You know, you were right. The emotions would leave on their own. It still hurts but I don’t see any reason to fight it if I know it’s gonna heal eventually. That’s how closure is supposed to feel like right?”

Shela shook her head. “Closure manifests differently for each person. But it’s normal to forget when you accept. Sometimes we find ourselves forgetting why we were ever sad at all. Or sometimes we just forget the details. Or sometimes it just feels like everything was all just a bad dream.”

“These past few months since the injury, they’re starting to blur together like some dream.” He turned to Hange who was starting to seem more and more uncomfortable. He chose that moment to reflects and he started to wonder why he had even avoided her in the first place. His next few words came out automatically “ I’m sorry what I did, and about our fight last month, I wasn’t angry about the injury if that’s what you think,” Levi said. The apology came out of nowhere, it felt misplaced. He started realize that maybe he should have given that apology much earlier.

Why then?

Hange had heard the apology for sure, but maybe she had just chosen to ignore it. “But Levi, you wrote these right? These dreams?” Hange said, as if she had taken his stare then as some cue to speak. She turned to Kuchel and to Levi, her movements seemed desperate then. She had at least kept some composure in her expression.

“I wrote them out,” Levi said. “But to be honest... I’m starting to forget why I did.”

"Emotions and dreams fickle things. They come and go when they please but sometimes we wanna keep them on record so we could relive it and process it. That’s why if you wanna grasp it and preserve it before it leaves... If you wanna be able to relive it, you have to write it down. This is why I ask all my patients to write things out. "

"Levi did." Hange turned to Levi. You wrote everything down right? You showed me a while ago, you wrote this and this… Shela, if they were his dreams, his emotions...he was writing it"

Shela’s expression was unmoving. "Those dreams weren’t supposed to be his. Maybe that's why they had been just a little more fickle. Who knows? Maybe Captain Levi just took it back already.”

“Why take it back?” Hange asked

“Maybe he fulfilled his unfinished business. Maybe he found closure.”

“But Levi you should have remembered writing it? You’ve been on it for months. Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten these last three months right?”

“I haven’t,” Levi said reassuringly.

“Then why aren’t you thinking about it anymore. Why am I the one thinking about it for you?” Hange pressed. There was a crack in her voice and Hange looked ready to slam her laptop on the floor.

“I remember writing it. I’m just wondering for myself why I wrote it out in the first place. Maybe because I didn’t have much to do. I got injured, I was stuck at home and you know, those days in your apartment, those days stuck in the dorm, they just blended together.”

“But you weren’t just indoors… We went out to the mountains. You were telling me these stories and you were telling me how Commander Hange was like. Levi, I felt things. I remembered all of it. You can’t just leave me hanging like this---”

Shela cleared her throat, uncharacteristically louder than usual. “You know, you seem more relaxed now. How does it feel Levi? Does it feel like a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders? Like you walk up from a bad dream?"

Levi nodded. "I'm just wondering why I'm exhausted."

“Of course you’re exhausted, you jumped while injured in the middle of winter. But relaxed is still a different feeling altogether, particularly compared to you the past few months. When I look at you now, you seem… freer?”

Freer? Levi shrugged. When had he ever been trapped?

For a while the room had been silent and it was Hange who broke it. "Levi, I wrote everything out, about what happened to Captain Levi in the survey corps. You may have deleted the file but I remembered them. These were your stories. These were the dreams you had. Hell, if Kuchel’s theory is correct, these are memories from your past life."

To humor Hange more than anything, Levi reread the bullet points and the effort quickly proved futile. They were bullet points of events, they could have been a timeline that Levi couldn’t for the life of him make sense of it. And he found himself a little annoyed at her tenacity.

“You still have a lot to write Hange, even I can’t make sense of it,” Kuchel said from behind. She gave Hange a reassuring pat.

The pout on Hange’s face, the way it had darkened into something similar to disappointment, had Levi almost guilty. Her emotions ran deeper than disappointment, he was sure. And for a second or so, Hange seemed crestfallen, ready to leave the room. The only thing tying her to the room then could have been her own strong penchant for seeking answers,

“You think you’ll be able to write again?” Hange asked. She looked like she could have said more. It was as if squeezing out that one sentence had sapped all energy out of her.

Levi shrugged. “Maybe I will.”

“When?”

“When the inspiration comes again.”

***

When will the inspiration come again? Hange always asked good questions and if she asked a question that couldn’t be answered, she always had an explanation to follow. Or at the least, she knew how to phrase questions in a way that could get answers.

Levi couldn’t answer and Hange wasn't helping him either. The tense silence that followed, loomed exclusively over the two of them. Although the conversation had shifted to a dialogue between Levi and Kuchel, even when Hange had kept quiet, pulling her focus back on her laptop in front of her, or her phone, the tension never left.

Levi had attempted to cut at it by focusing on Kuchel. He had provided a long drawn out explanation of his own emotions for Kuchel and in return, Kuchel had provided a long drawn out interpretation of his explanations.

Maybe drawing the conversation out longer than expected was unnecessary. In the end, the only take home Levi had for himself then was that the past few months were a blur and any effort to make sense of it would be completely futile.

Kuchel left them both in the silence, mentioning something about another meeting. Alone in the room, in the tense silence continued to haunt. It was Hange who spoke up again asking that same question. “When will inspiration come again?”

“You sound pretty fixated on my inspiration. Maybe you should write the end for yourself then.” The sudden acceptance had Levi relaxing on the bed soon after Kuchel had left the room.

“It’s not about writing… This story in particular, it meant a lot to me too.”

“I’m sure it meant a lot. It meant a lot to me too but weirdly, I just don’t care about it as much as I used to.”

“What about us?”

“What do you mean ‘about us?’”

“About us… The past few things you were writing the story and you were talking about Commander Hange and Captain Levi. That was about us right?”

“You heard my answer to Kuchel, it was a blur.”

“No, I meant about us in the past few months. Are you angry with me? Do you want me out of your life?”

“You wanna leave?.”

“No it’s not that. It’s just…” Hange breathed out, shaking her head in disbelief. “You didn’t talk to me for weeks.”

Levi looked away, hiding the wince in his face. “I told you, I’m sorry I don’t even remember why I did it.”

“So do you want me here?”

“Yes, I don't want you to leave, I thought it was obvious.”

“Well it looks like it wasn’t so obvious, I thought you’d want me to leave. You didn’t reply to any of my messages and I remembered, we’ve only known each other for months.”

“I think 'months' are more than enough for me to realize that I want you here. For a long time. Maybe longer than that.” Maybe even forever.

Did he say that ‘forever’ part out loud? He didn’t expect Hange’s smile then.

Her eyes were wide open, her lips curled up into a big smile. The overall expression on her face had seemed unreadable. She could have been mocking him, she could have been freaked out or she could have been that good balance between surprised and happy “So what are you saying? We’re soulmates?” She asked.

“You don’t believe in soulmates,” Levi said. The facade of disconnect was hurriedly done, consequently, it felt almost shoddy.

“Fate?”

“You told me yourself, you don’t believe in fate either.

“I don’t.”

“It was a choice right? Everything that brought us to this point was all just borne of choice. You made the choice to work for me, I made the choice to cooperate and here we are.” Levi felt a hand slip under his and it grabbed him from underneath. Levi didn’t have to look down to comprehend it, Hange’s face had said it all.

“But you know, I’m starting to believe in this abstract thing called soulmates. And this other abstract thing called fate,” she said

“Aren’t you a researcher?”

“I have the evidence, Levi. Someone has been coming into my dreams too and she’s been telling me about you.”

“You know, they must have been some really good dreams if they convinced you to believe in them.

“They were. They really were. And you know what, they only keep coming.”

Levi had closed his eyes long before then. And the patter on the window had mellowed to something rhythmic and along the way it had softened altogether. Whether it had been due to the even patter or through her own volition, Hange had stopped talking, her breath had evened out.

And when Levi started to dream again, the shift had been too gradual, too kind. The dreams weren’t loud, they didn't demand attention. They didn’t make themselves known. When Levi opened his eyes again, the idea that he had fallen asleep had seemed almost surreal, unbelievable.

“You can go back to sleep,” Hange said. She seemed focused on something on her laptop again.

Levi looked out the window, the sky was dark but the snow continued to fall.

“Erwin told us we could stay another night.”

“Why?”

“We’re completely snowed in.”

“Okay,” Levi said. He had attempted to go back to sleep and it had only proved frustratingly unsuccessful. The confusion at having the view by the window so suddenly shift from sky blue to complete black still had him disoriented.

So he found orientation in Hange’s concentrated look then and the white of the screen reflected in her glasses. Even behind the glare, her long lashes were noticeable, her hazel brown eyes could still be traced, the shades of brown discerned. So he continued to looked, and he had managed to pass the time much more quickly.

“How are you feeling?” Hange asked as she looked up at him. The glare of the screen disappeared from her glasses and Levi found himself unable to respond for a second longer as he appreciated the unmarred view of her eyes then.

It was a lucid view of her then that sent a pang of regret through him. It was quick and if Levi didn’t let it wash through him then, if he didn’t give it full control over him in that moment, maybe he would have never remembered it happened, maybe he would have never remembered to appreciate Hange then.

“I feel like I just had one long dream,” Levi said. maybe the dreams could have explained the slight pang of regret then. But they were too far off already for Levi to look back on. So he surrendered quickly and kept silent.

Hange didn’t hesitate to take the reins of the conversation. “I was writing.”

“About what?”

“About your dreams. I'm trying to remember what else you wrote.”

“Oh?”

“I don’t think you ever gave names to the two titans you caught for me."

Titans? Levi couldn't follow the conversation. With nothing else much to contribute, he nodded.

Hange continued. “So I named them myself.”

“What did you name them?” Levi asked, an attempt to humor her more than anything.

Hange’s face had curled to a smile as she spoke and she opened her mouth a little bit, exposing her teeth underneath. She seemed to be enjoying it. “Their names are Sonny and Bean"

Somehow, Levi was starting to get invested too. “Hey Hange, since we’re gonna be stuck here for a while, maybe you can tell me what a titan is.”

#levihan #levihan fanfiction

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hanna-water · 2 years

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“Good enough” A fanfic in two parts because it is a little longer then the previous ones Part 1 This fanfic describes an alternative plot for week 9 of season 7 and also a different first kiss between Sascha and Isi. (There is no gig during the holy rainbow night.) The story is begins on Wednesday after the dancepractise but instead of Lou, Isi is actually meeting Ava and hearing some news about Sascha… Wednesday

“Hey Ava, will you be taking the bus or the tram?“ Isi asked as they were on their way out of the gym. Rehearsing the dance had been fun today, Kieu My was not as tough on them as during the last practises because they got much better. Still Isi did not feel fully happy about that because the strange encounter with Sascha on Monday was still overshadowing their mood. He had looked sad and Isi wished she had found the right words to say something to him but also wanted to respect that he needed more time. More time for what? To tell Isi that they should just stay friends?

“I will be taking the bus, so still some time left.“ Avas voice cut through Isis thoughts. „Me too, we could wait together.“ Isi answered and Ava nodded and smiled. Isi was still surprised about how friendly Ava was to them and the fact that she had forgiven them was making the feeling of guilt and shame even heavier. Isi would try to have another conversation with her about what they and Consti did to her during middle school. But maybe in a more private setting, not right now.

“How is Sascha actually?“ Ava suddenly asked and added „I have texted him this morning but he has not replied yet“. Isi was surprised she brought Sascha up and wondered if he had said anything to her about last Friday. „uhm I have only shortly seen him on Monday….why ?“ Isi asked. „I just wanted to make sure he is ok, you know. After the drama with his dad. I thought maybe he wants to meet up and talk about it“. Isi tried to not show their confusion. „What do you mean…with his dad?“ They asked carefully. The feeling of worry started to rise from their stomach to their chest. „Well you know….that his dad doesn`t want him to visit over New Years like usually. He sounded really down in his last messages and I wanted to make sure he is ok. I know how difficult it can be with separated parents….“. Ava answered until Isi interrupted her. „His dad does not want him to come over during New Years?“ Isi asked and frowned at Ava. „Yes. Did he not tell you that? Oh I am sorry I thought you knew…“ Ava seemed uncomfortable to have touched on that topic. „No I did not know.“ Isi said quietly as they arrived at the busstop. Why didn`t they know about this? So was this the real reason why Sascha looked so sad on Monday? Isi wanted to punch herself for thinking that all of Saschas behaviour had been about her and last Friday, while in reality he had his own struggles and that possibility had not even crossed her mind. She was so selfish. „I guess we didn`t really have the time to talk. There was so much going on lately“ Isi said to Ava while getting on the bus. She did not want Ava to think that she was a bad friend who did not pay any attention but this was exactly what Isi was. Sascha and Ava had only reconnected a few weeks ago and she knew more about what was going on in his life then Isi… because she actually cared. Isi felt awful. „Hey don`t worry I am sure he is doing fine. I should not have brought it up“. Ava tried to calm them down as she noticed how upset Isi looked. „yes sure…uhm I have to get out two stops earlier – I have to buy some groceries for my mum.“ Isi said and slowly got up from her seat. „Bye Ava, see you soon“ They hugged and Isi got out of the bus. It was a lie, Isi didn`t have to buy anything but they felt as if they needed to walk the rest of their way home to think and make sense of what they had just heard. Saschas dad did not want him to come visit? That was more then unusual… since his parents separated Sascha had always spend one holiday with his mum and the other with his dad. They sometimes switched christmas eve and New Years but it has always been very important to his dad that Sascha would visit him. His parents had even gotten into arguments about how long he should stay with whom. Something must have happened. Why did Sascha not answer Avas messages? To be continued... Link to part 2: https://hanna-water.tumblr.com/post/676090446671413248/link-to-part

#druck #fanfic #saschisi #ava pereira #isi inci #sascha belin #I am in the mood to write this weekend...#part 2 will be posted within the next hour #I just separated the story because I dont know if the posts have a text-limit #skam germany #season 7

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gerbithats · 4 years

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A long sims 4 rant

Starting this I can already predict it’s gonna be a big one so if you stick with me, thank you and I’ll try and add pictures to make things feel easier 😆

I was thinking about it and I mean really thinking about these community surveys we’ve been getting and how they speak volumes on the way the game is handled but also also how we position ourselves as a community. I noticed alot more game changers are starting to get pretty vocal about their thoughts since the first community survey came out and that’s refreshing to say the least, but it shows a pattern that we all present: give us what is missing no matter how. We want beaches. We want cars. We want more stairs. We want bunkbeds. Etc.

So these things are probably somehow rushed into production to please the community and then, when we finally get it, it’s like we finally realize that what this game truly lacks is gameplay and not more items.

I invite you to come and think about the packs and the stuff we got throughout these 6 years with me.

🏢 Chapter 1: The apartment issue

Yes we got apartment buildings with city living, but sometimes it doesn’t even feel like it’s a game feature because it’s L I T E R A L L Y related to living in a city, so it’s not a real feature. We have no possible way to play with apartments and condos outside of san myshuno because for the first time ever we can’t build or own apartments. This was such a missed opportunity of giving us new lot treatments like condos and even rentable properties. I mean, just think about how those 2 features could allow so much new gameplay and stories with it (I can literally imagine being a landlord, having to go fix renters stuff in my their places and doing social events as condo meetings).

The neighbors in that type of lot could also help solve somehow what so many people mention as “boring lot gameplay”. Let’s be real. hardly something ever happens with so little npcs and only the walk by sims (You have to literally run after them to make things happen sometimes and it shouldn’t be like that). But if sims were to live in the same condo or building as yours, sharing common living spaces that’s a whole other thing. Which brings me to the fact that even in the city, where apartments exist, there’s no common area other than the halls. Imagine if we could build laundries, rooftops, basements, patios with pools and all that sort of stuff.

That sort of detaling and really getting deep into the pack’s features is even show in elevators: we can’t use them ourselves (for building) and they’re not even animated, your sim is just teleported (even the modded ones have animations and that’s just awkward).

🌊 Chapter 2: Swimming in shallow waters

“We want a beach”, we said. So they gave us a beach, and a beach only. I’ve never seen so many people call a pack “shallow” as I’ve seen it happen to Island Living and tbh I do agree with them ‘cause... there’s really not much to do in this pack. For the first time ever swimming was restricted to this pack which is already a big let down by itself, but then features like deep diving were added for no reason and of course, as a rabbit whole, not actually contributing with much to do. So how could it be better?

My answer is pretty obvious: resorts. It is a livable world, but that don’t mean your sims can’t take a vacation from work and just stay there if that’s the gameplay you want to go with and resorts match perfectly with that, not to mention it would have great integration with packs like spa day. It also means a new lot type and lot system, that wouldn’t be much new if the city living building condos and sublocating them as I mentioned would’ve already been implemented, but now with the feature of renting it yourself too. Resorts could also have their own event schedules, integrated with the seasons calendar: cava parties every wednesday, yoga lessons on thursdays, etc. And the best thing would be: if you own one, you can make your own events and traditions. imagine just how fun that would be. A feature like this would also mean it’s already done for other packs coming later on, maybe a colder destination where you can ski and build iglus or even another cultural based pack like jungle adventure.

Other obvious resolution would be better mermaids. Make it harder to become one, being only able to get the kelp from a mermaid themselves. Make it less anticlimactic, having an animation of them turning before they just walk in water with a tail all of the sudden, maybe just some scales in their legs. Give them more unique features and powers like vampires and spellcasters have, such as easily persuading people (sort of like the mind control feature aliens have) and maybe even a secret lot, like a grotto where all the mermaids are. Give them curses with the points system to go with it, some mermaids are actually sirens amirite

🥶 Chapter 3: Seasons change, gameplay stays the same

Activities truly based on the season that are specific to that moment create urgency and different moments. Something I can think of is integrating a pack we already have: spooky stuff. It does feel lackluster ‘cause it’s missing opportunities, but imagine going trick or treating but actually going, loading different houses and gathering it while a meter like the active jobs one guided you. Forming groups with friends to do it or maybe for tpeing trees and bushes if you’re on the rebel teen side and destroying their porch jack’o lanterns. It could even be randomly generated, like the game would send you to 3 different houses to do it (that would bring lots of replayability value ‘cause you could end up in houses with neighbors that love you and will give you candy no problem, but maybe also neighbors with family feuds that won’t answer their door or make it harder for you to accomplish the event objectives), maybe one of those could even be a abandoned one that’s haunted or something like that.

The implementing of a better wants and fears system is very essential for this pack. Yes your sims get overheated and a popup message tells you they need some water or lighter clothes, but it’d be so good if they’d actually want to go to the beach, swim in the ocean, take a vacation from work and go to a resort. Heatwaves that would make your sim act weird, not strangerville level of weird, but maybe not obeying your commands.

Blizzards so strong that work and school would get canceled and you actually don’t have the option to leave your home lot anymore until it passes would not only add a different element to the gameplay, but also add value to the weather controler machine.

🥺 Final chapter: The general “more stuff to do” and “more things happening” factor

The game offers all these beautiful secret worlds and yet when you finally get to them there’s not much to do other than searching for rocks and frogs and doing some fishing. I miss going to a community lot hidden somewhere and finding an eremite, goddamn bigfoot, some crazy npc or even just an actual community lot with something to do and people doing stuff in it. Unique community lots would also be a way to make towns more lively and captivating like they did so well with realm of magic and the casters alley section of the world. Maybe forgotten hollow has this abandoned haunted house where people claim they’ve seen the grim reaper walking around. Maybe sixam has a alien station where they clone human sims. Maybe sulani has this beautiful sunken ship beach where a club of people that dress up as pirated meet. Maybe Del Sol Valley has a movie theater where you can watch premieres. Maybe Oasis Springs mine hides actual gold that you can collect and get rich outta nowhere. That kind of stuff.

I can’t stress this enough, but NPCs are so important to shake things up. It was so good to have a pack like realm of magic where the we would have to go to the three sages in order to progress. Having unique sims like this or npcs that change the way your story is going like burglars, firefighters, cops, social bunny, bonehilda and even a fortune teller is so important to keep things impredictable and interesting.

Age groups really need more specific restricted gameplay for better feel of progression. Many people say sims 4 is a young adult simulator and well... there’s not much to show that differs from that. Toddlers are as interesting as hamsters, locked in an object waiting for you to feed, clean and give them attention. Teens really should feel more like a transiction period, and the wants and fears system would really help out with that. I miss being able to participate in more elements that would mark a sims life even if they’re cheesy as heck, like having a prom, graduating, having a midlife crises.

In conclusion

First of all: if you got to this point thank you and I’d really wanna know what you think about all of this.

Some people may find even ridiculous for someone to go about a rant this big on a game and to that I have to say I agree lol I can’t help it tho, honestly, the sims has always been the game I’m most passionate about and it helped me express myself and my creativity so much since I was a kid. I really do care about this game and this franchise.

The point I want to make with this is: perhaps we shouldn’t ask for more and more different stuff, but actually put some effort into showing things we already like in the game and how they can be improved to make it more interesting. At the end of the day I still want spiral staircases, ladders, paintable ceiling, werewolves and all that but does it really matter if they get added to the game following the same patterns as the things pointed in here? Also we really are getting to a point where only a few things are missing as far as cas/build/buy go and I believe it’s time for us, as a community, to give gameplay as much importance as all these things we wanted so bad that got implemented. I probaby forgot to say something here and I didn’t even mention the infamous hamster pack, but anyway, I hope the point got across.

I try really hard to believe that the gurus are here for us and that most of all we, as a community, have a very strong voice, all we need to do is make it clearer and stronger about the things we really wish for this game.

#i'm never doing rants again #honestly this is my last one #from now one i'll only express my thoughts through memes and reblogs #ressurrection spell was a missed opportunity for zombies to be back in realm of magic btw #i don't even know how to tag this #the sims #the sims 4 #ts4 #sims 4

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