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secretgamergirl · 28 days

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Thinking About How We Talk

This is one of those subjects I bring up now and then where it feels like I'm lighting a match to inspect some powder kegs. So right up front let me say this is NOT going to be a post where I'm going to actively police the language you use, talk at all about George Orwell, or be some sort older out of touch person who just doesn't understand how younger generations talk. This is all about encouraging personal reflection, considering word choices, inoculating yourself against nasty rhetorical tactics, and history lessons here.

And before I do the whole cut thing I also want to get into a real obvious example of why all this is important. In the last couple of years, people have finally been catching up to this, but for the vast majority of my life, everyone was bafflingly cool with calling the extremists with such a hard-core anti-abortion stance they'd gleefully push policies where people were forced into definitely-a-stillbirth situation which additionally posed a serious risk to their lives and engaged in full on terrorism against people performing abortions or even just potentially pointing people towards the right resources, in a full on bombs and mass shootings in doctor's offices sort of way. And aside from just the disgusting hypocrisy involved in that, this language control was actually effective enough that a huge number of people with pretty reasonable thoughts like "well obviously I don't have a say in what other people do, but I think if I ended up pregnant, even if it wasn't a planned thing, I'd go ahead and have that baby" thought that that meant they were "pro-life" and shouldn't oppose people claiming to be such. That's the sort of terrible situation you get when you just kinda roll with the language shifts total monsters push for.

That's a real grim note to start this off on, so let me dial it back a little. As you may or may not know, just about 10 years ago now, my life went down kind of a weird road where I suddenly found myself spending basically all my time monitoring and combating really hardcore far right extremist groups and their various pushes to mainstream their garbage. The most prominent example of this was the whole Gamergate thing, and the less-publicized string of similar 4chan "ops" where a bunch of creeps from this weird insular pile of misanthropic nazis would do their best to disguise themselves as normal functioning human beings and subtley spread their hateful crap. This was obviously awful in so many ways, but on a certain level it was kind of hilarious because the vast majority of these people were just completely incapable of speaking like normal human beings. They'd be pretending to be concerned housewives or black civil rights activists but still pepper everything with 4chan post signifiers, talking about "cucks" and "fags" and doing the whole bit of ">be me >walk into a walmart >see some SJW talking about mysoggyknees >puke" and whatnot. You could spot them from miles away and see right through them. TERFs of course still work on this level, trying to talk to normal people and rambling about "TIMs" and "large gametes" and "adult human females" and all that.

Now eventually, by and large, they've gotten steadily better at masking this crap. There's some terms and typing styles that have generally dropped off, there's a lot of weird coded phrases they use now that couple plausibly come from the mouths of normal people, but more than anything else, they made this HUGE push years back to infest the hell out of youtube and other websites with a lot of unattended impressionable children. They'd do things like ramble about Minecraft and... whatever else it was 12 year olds were really into around 2015 or so, and subtly pepper in their weird rhetoric, terminology, and conspiracy theories, trying to indoctrinate kids too young to know better, and frankly they made pretty good inroads. I don't know that they were super effective at turning that many kids into full on nazis, but they did a great job of normalizing a bunch of jargon and they at least messed with kids values enough for them to age into the sort of witch-hunting weirdos you see all over Tumblr here just itching to bun people at the stake for being too sex positive or whatever other weird arbitrary reason.

Now, I don't like this because I can no longer look at someone talking about "Chads" and "cucking" and such and know without the slightest doubt that that's one of those hardcore fascist creeps talking, which bugs me but, ow well, damage done. But also, you know, words mean things. You really can influence someone's thought patterns by encouraging trends in their vocabularies. Cults know this, that's why they're so keen on actually policing the hell out of how members talk, getting them to only express certain concepts in certain ways and all, so they don't ever question certain baseline assumptions and whatnot. And that still applies when you freely choose to adopt certain language.

This isn't always a huge problem. Hardcore nazis talk about "Chads" all the time as part of this super messed up offshoot of pickup artistry where there are inherently superior "Chads" that whatever woman you're hoping to manipulate into banging you are always going to pick over you, the wannabe pickup artist loser, because ultimately women are awful contemptible things incapable of seeing your best qualities, and when you go down that rabbit hole far enough people push you into going on killing sprees in hope of the government being brought to their knees and forcing women to ignore their Chad preference and date people like you under penalty of imprisonment or something. Super messed up, but as that one got mainstreamed it seems to have distorted a bit into a general (and maybe even gender neutral) term for someone cool you should try to emulate.

Then you have terms like "cuck" getting mainstreamed. That's a word that just DID NOT EXIST in the popular consciousness until about a decade ago. It was a thing previously, but only in specialized porn circles. It's short of "cuckold," this odd antiquated term, where you have this specific scenario where some white guy walks in on his wife or girlfriend having sex with a particularly physically impressive black man, and just kind of blubbers impotently as she brags about how impressive the new guy is. I assume it caught on with the general public because ha ha, the nazis are identifying with this loser in this obscure porn fetish. Meanwhile for the nazis this is total propaganda for all their garbage about "the great replacement theory" and general threat posed by black men and the concept of women being property to be defended and all that crap, and like... that's just inherently what the concept is here? You can't deploy "cuck" as an insult without at least SOME buy-in to, at the very least, some of that idea of women showing any sort of sexual interest in other people is a sign of failure on behalf of some guy who on at leas some level owns them and needs to defend their property from others and that's just a really messed up world view to enforce? Particularly when you're doing so as an alternative to just calling some pathetic loser a pathetic loser, or any number of other things that get that same point across.

Worse than that though? Cringe. To cringe is to physically recoil in instinctive disgust as an involuntary reaction to something profoundly terrifying or unpleasant. Like opening the door to a closet and having a wall of maggots suddenly collapse down from behind it or something. Fascists love to use this to describe the various sorts of human beings they intensely dislike and want to exterminate. "I can't articulate just what it is about just seeing this queer person existing in public that makes me shudder in revulsion, and that's cool because I love not thinking about my reactions and just acting on them" basically. And when someone who isn't a fascist refers to someone or something as "cringe" they... also mean it in exactly that fashion. The whole concept behind turning the word into an adjective like this is to externalize personal feelings of disgust and turn them into some objective flaw in the source, rather than analyze why you feel that way. It's really just not a concept you should have ANY term for, let alone this specific one. Like it's fine to be disgusted by someone, but you should always be able to clearly articulate why you feel that way. Like, say, "ugh, look at these disgusting losers who set up a whole message board just to stalk a bunch of random queer people. Could you ever imagine having such an inability to find joy in anything that that would seem like the best way to spend your time?" That's totally fine. But if you're ever in a situation where you're disgusted by someone and can't put a finger on why? There's some chance you're being groomed into irrationally hating people over some signifier they're a member of a group hate groups want wiped out. So you know, maybe strongly consider just dropping that one from your vocabulary?

Or how about the real big obvious one, "woke?" I feel like out of all of these, this is the one people are most likely to toss around without really thinking about what it actually means. So history lesson! Back in 2014 there was this absolutely horrific incident where a cop absolutely brutally murdered a child who was walking down the street in Ferguson, Missouri. Shot him six times, in front of a good number of witnesses. When questioned on it spouted off some absolutely WILD BS about him having superpowers, being a demon, and "bulking up" when shot. These are actual quotes, I want to be clear. Not only did he face no actual repercussions for this, he wasn't even charged with a crime, and there was a rather profoundly large number of people in law enforcement lining up to back up this murderer's story that he absolutely had to completely unload his gun into an unarmed child with hands over his head in the head to keep him from using his demonic super strength to tear him limb from limb.

Being such an astonishingly clear cut example of... this thing that cops are constantly doing to black children all over the country and all, there was a good deal of press coverage and protesting over this, and for a VERY brief period, maybe a month or two? People who were on the scene being terrorized by shockingly militarized police while they tried to hold candlelight vigils for this murdered child were referring to themselves as "woke." As in "this incident woke me up to the fact that racist cops really do have complete institutional protection any time they feel like straight up murdering an innocent child like this." Right wing monsters didn't quite immediately co-opt the term. There was a bit of workshopping from the more media savvy/TV show hosting far right types, particularly this whole embarrassing effort to try and make "black lives matter" sound in some way threatening, before they eventually settled on making "woke" into this slur that definitely and specifically does refer to "anyone who objects to police being allowed to murder innocent black children without fear of consequence" but is obfuscated enough to have some plausible deniability.

Now, I'll admit there may have been a bit of linguistic drift amongst the far right with the specific definition of the term. The edges may have blurred some on who it can be applied to, since we are talking about a crowd who relies pretty heavily on growth through emotional appeal, frowns on self-reflection, flattens terminology, and really prefer vague blanket catch-alls to targeting specific minorities because it's just easier that way. The spirit behind it has never changed at all though. It's still a declaration of seething hate and a demand for a general social status quo where it's basically OK for state agents to murder the sort of people they consider to be undesirable.

How about the usage of the term amongst people who aren't complete monsters? Well, the people who were originally self-describing themselves as "woke" stopped using it pretty damn quick, I think around the second time one of them was found with a fatal bullet wound in his chest, in his car, which was set on fire. As in more than one person protesting the whole police murdering innocent people deal was murdered in this specific ritualistic way. Serious stuff went down in Ferguson and we really should talk about it more. Then though, more recently, there are a hell of a lot of people you would maybe think should know much better who are... also tossing the word "woke" around in a sneering slur-adjacent fashion? Sometimes it's in this vague mocking contempt sort of way like "ooh, I guess this movie that just came out is 'woke' right, because there's a black woman as a major character?" Maybe more often though it's in some context of throwing people under the bus? Like, "hey, I consider myself left wing, but I'm not part of that woke crowd!" Which, you know, that's just a whole category of crap people say that should raise a red flag that they're trying to talk fascists into considering them good people before we even get into how you're actually saying you're OK with cops murdering innocent children. Again, I'm not saying you HAVE to immediately completely drop this term from your personal vocabulary, but, you know, I'd really appreciate it if you put some thought into it and whether there's a good reason you shouldn't?

For that matter, it's worth a bit of examination on how the hell this is even an issue in the first place? Like, how do people who aren't just the absolute worst pieces of human garbage constantly getting into a positon where they're talking like creeps making posts on obscure insular hate sites a decade ago? I'm pretty confident guessing it more or less always starts off with some sort of attempt at mockery. Maybe a few instances of trying to talk to people on their own level. And this all almost certainly comes from some kind of weird elitist viewpoint where people end up thinking far right monsters talk the way they do because they're stupid, unlike them, sophisticated well-educated people with refined sensibilities and a snappy sense of humor and wordplay or something.

Now... I'm not going to say that hardcore nazis AREN'T breath-takingly stupid. You have to be a pathetic loser with an extreme inferiority complex to sign up, and once you do you marinate in an echo chamber of propaganda slogans and extremely discouraged from ever taking time to really think about what you're doing or questioning anything you're told and all. That's going to dull your wit quite a bit. But here's the thing. Let's picture someone who just sits in a little shack somewhere who never talks to anyone, never reads, never thinks about anything of any sort to any degree except for forging axe-heads. He's got a forge in there, he was trained in how to do this one specific thing, it's the only thing he does, and he does it all day every day. Odds are pretty good you could beat this guy handily at any sort of battle of wits, trivia contest, philosophical discussion on the nature of humanity, etc. But I think we could all agree that it would be incredibly stupid of you to assume you could forge a better axe than this guy.

Fascists are like this, but instead of forging axe heads, the one thing they do at the expense of everything else is normalizing extreme bigotry. You're not going to beat them at the game of screwing with norms and language usage. You're not going to "own" them by using the terminology they use. You're going to internalize that hateful crap to SOME degree and poison your own thinking with it. Don't ever let them define any terms or otherwise control a conversation. Don't ever assume out of hand you have a shared understanding of what words mean with them. Really try to avoid ever speaking to them at all.

And hey, if you do make it a point like I do of being actively mindful to never use the same vocabulary as fascist pieces of garbage, and get into it with people around you who do, aside from everything else it makes it damn near impossible for any sort of cryptofascists to get a foothold trying to recruit you or mess with you (by which I mean nazis trying to hide that they're nazis not nazis trying to get you into NFTs or whatever but honestly WOW is there a lot of overlap).

All of this being said of course, I again remind you, hey, don't turn into some weird purity purging creep policing people's language. This isn't exactly an adjacent concept to what I'm talking about here. There's a pretty wide gulf. But just in case, I'm emphasizing it here. I've seen people do weird witch hunts over things like someone praising a fictional character as a good representation of someone on the autism spectrum or whatever and not liking the specific language they used to do so. Or like, hell, do I need to get into a whole sidetrack about the big campaign from TERFs to try and convince people that the word queer is a slur and try to ban queer people off sites like this one here for using it? Yeah don't have any part in that sort of crap. Just try to personally not parrot crap fascists say is all I'm getting at here.

#language #linguistics #civil rights #Ferguson #abortion

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awfulwordmonger · 1 year

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O3-123-4L Living on the USS Kitty Hawk

That was my address: three levels above the main deck, also known as the Hangar Deck, the O3 level put me directly below the Flight Deck, where all the noisy stuff happened. 123 “frames” aft of the bow of the ship - roughly amidships. 4L was a “living” space, a six-man bunk room for JOs on the port side of the ship, relative to the midline. Our space was also called the “Bowling Alley” due to its narrowness, roughly 8-10 feet wide and its length, around 20-30 feet. It was divided length-wise into three smaller rooms running fore an aft along the ship.

The “front room” opened in from a ladder well coming up from three stories below, and contained four “lockers” which, since we were Junior Officers, had a portion for clothing on hangers and two or three drawers on the bottom for or other stuff. The remainder of the space was filled by “desks” - aluminum planks attached to the wall on either side and a couple of ancient (non-rolling) metal government chairs. Fluorescent lights were placed above the desks and on the overhead (ceiling).

:readmore:

The second room held two more lockers and two stacks of three bunks. The bunks each had a thin mattress on top of a wire mesh suspended from springs along the frame. They were slightly wider than a body, but not as wide as a standard single bed. The ship was about twenty years old at this time. Having been home to many, many people by then, the springs were pretty tired and when weight was applied were more like a hammock than any other sort of bed. The first time I tried to sleep on board the ship, I woke up feeling like I had been in a cocoon all night. When your body sinks completely below the level of the bed frame, there’s no rolling over. Just getting out of bed was a formidable task! At least I was in the middle of the three-stack. That meant my feet were pretty close to the floor when I swung out from between the almost floor level bottom bunk and the head-height upper bunk. Each bunk also had its own small reading light, supplemented by large fluorescent lights on the ceiling. This was the sleeping room, though, and the overhead lights were almost never on. One never knew when someone might be catching up from a late night. For our first two month stint motoring in circles in the Indian Ocean, I was the night watch officer in the CVIC (the ship’s intelligence center) so I came to appreciate the consideration from my roommates!

The third room, past the bunk room, was a tiny space with two sinks, one on either side, with mirrors above them. The middle of the room was dominated by a vertical ventilation tube about two feet in diameter running, I was told, straight down to one of Kitty Hawk’s four engine rooms.

The noise? Imagine having an Auxiliary Power Unit from a 747 running just outside your bedroom, 24/7. That was the ventilator shaft, running Dow to (I believe) one of the ship’s boiler rooms. Add to that, our “air conditioner” in the bunk room - a unit that was supposed to provide cooler air, but probably hadn’t been maintained since the ship was built. It sounded a little like an idling chainsaw. Then, maybe less than three feet above the room, was the flight deck: inches (feet?) of armor plate covered in thick non-skid coating. Being a runway that handled up to a couple hundred departures and arrivals every day, there’s a lot of noise generated! Aircraft taxiing, launching at maximum power, landing (also at max power) with a tail hook dragging along until it snags a two-inch steel cable at more than a hundred miles per hour, a “bolter” (missed landing, when the aircraft has to go around for another try at the cables), disengaging the cable after landing… All of the above are amazingly noisy, believe it or not. At the time I described the noise as anything from a freight train running over your head with a flat wheel (the sound of a tail hook banging across multiple “pad eyes” which allow a plane to be chained to the deck in any location) to a truckload of bowling balls falling on the ceiling of your bedroom (the sound of a huge cable going slack and falling to the deck, plus a metal hook slamming down, sometimes repeatedly, as the now-stopped plane tries to get free of the cable) and the sound of the jets still at max power after stopping, until the pilot’s scrambled brain realizes it’s not still flying. Now… you’ve worked all night and finally crawled into your “rack” at about 10 AM. You fall asleep, only to be interrupted within the next one hour and forty-five minutes by the start of another flight of aircraft getting ready for the “cyclic ops” to repeat and repeat and repeat all day long - first the departures, a lull and then the arrivals of all those who departed earlier. Each event typically includes 10-20 aircraft. And I learned to sleep through the whole thing, about 6 feet below the center of the runway. I lived with that for a little over two months, during our first at-sea period in the Indian Ocean.

Another interesting feature of living in a space that was clearly an afterthought: we were outside the range of all of the ships PA system, aka the "1MC". Any important announcements, like say "General Quarters" (Battle stations), had to be relayed by telephone, which rarely worked, or by a person making the trip to our door as fast as humanly possible! Because we worked odd hours, and might be asleep when the drills (and they were almost always drills), it was always a very near thing for someone to haul ass from our squadron ready room, up 4 decks to the O3 level, across the ship and about 30-40 yards aft, wake everyone up and then get back to where they were supposed to be before all the watertight hatches, etc. were slammed shut at the end of four minutes! Once General Quarters was set, one could only open a watertight hatch with the permission of Damage Control Central. Not a pretty thing, once it was logged, the squadron CO was notified, etc. I was lucky - my Battle Station was in the ship's CVIC (Intelligence Center), also on the O3 level and about 20 yards from my bunkroom! My five roommates weren't so lucky, having to traverse the ship as fast as they could to the ready room.

The rules for getting around the ship during the four minutes when setting GQ was in progress:

Up and forward on the starboard side

Down and aft on the port side

If a watertight hatch or door is already closed, call DC Central to get permission to open it, and prepare to get your ass chewed.

Hope to God that you don't have to visit the head during GQ, as the nearest head might be on the wrong side of a watertight door!

AWM

#u.s. navy #aircraft carrier #aviation #naval aviation

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nickgerlich · 3 months

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Doubling Down

I have long argued that, in spite of our increasingly polarized society, the answer to many issues lies somewhere in the middle. It’s not necessarily so much about compromise as it is just that truth is seldom as extreme as some would claim. Between the binary black and white is an ocean of gray, and that’s where we need to know how to tread water.

In a class like Digital Marketing, the battle plays out between e-commerce and BAM stores, as if it were a winner-take-all affair. As much as Amazon upset the apple cart, and forced everyone else to come back or go away, the future of American retail is still somewhere in the middle. And, it can be argued, still leaning toward BAM.

Evidence of the faith in BAM is Walmart’s announcement to either add or convert 150 supercenters to its lineup in the next five years. It currently has 4600 Walmart stores and 600 Sam’s Clubs, and although the company is mum about how many of the 150 will simply be expansions of existing smaller stores, the thinking is that the emphasis will be on new builds.

That’s a bold move at a time when it can easily be argued we are over-stored across the country, and that Amazon continues to increase its presence in the online world. Never mind Amazon, as well as Shein, the upstart Chinese company practically giving away clothes, as well as Walmart’s own push—and it is a big one, finally—into the online arena.

There’s still gold to be mined along our city thoroughfares.

It is interesting to note Walmart’s ubiquity, something we already kind of knew. But when you consider that 90% of Americans live within 10 miles of a Walmart, that fact appears in bold-faced italic. Ten miles. That’s not much for a car-centric society. I am 6.5 miles door to door from Walmart, but have the convenience of it being less than two miles from the office, so it is super easy for me to veer off-course just a tad to pick up my things on the way home.

Walmart is not only the biggest retailer in the US with about $500 billion in annual sales, but also the biggest in the world, with $600 billion. It is the largest private employer in the US, with 1.6 million employees. If those employees all lived in the same city, it would be the sixth-largest city in the US, between Phoenix and Philadelphia.

In spite of inflation and customers pulling back on spending, Walmart has thrived the last few years. In the last year it grew 16%, prompting the company to announce a 3-for-1 stock split in recent days so its employees could more easily afford buying stock.

All of this speaks to a company that is bullish on terra firma stores, and rightfully so, because it has figured out how to use each of those 4600 and growing stores as distribution hubs for delivery of items purchased online. Smart thinking there, and something that Amazon cannot begin to approximate, since it only has about 355 large fulfillment centers scattered across the nation. Add in drones, and while Jeff Bezos may have been the one to imagine such a thing, Walmart is set to crush this delivery mode too.

Amid this growth are plans to renovate many stores to an emerging, more modern concept. This is critically important, because Walmart stores have a tendency to start looking long in the tooth after a while. Target has been engaged in remodel and new format efforts as well, and their super-sleek new store on Orlando’s south side left my jaw dropping over how compelling it was. Mind you, I am a dull academic, so there’s that, but Walmart needs a similar sleekness, or day I say it, sexiness.

I count myself fortunate because my local Walmart is simply outstanding, testament to good store management. It is clean, cheery, and bright. I can’t say that about many other Walmarts. And, the clientele here in Canyon is decidedly more upscale than those at other Walmarts, thanks in large part to being in a university community. I have seen both the President and EVP there before, along with many colleagues.

If Walmart can pull off what it has done here locally, it’s going to be dominating the retail scene for decades to come. The fact they are doubling down on BAM tells me they know which side their bread is buttered on. And that stock split is pretty inviting too.

Dr “I’ll Be There This Afternoon” Gerlich

Audio Blog

#marketing #retail #Walmart #BAM

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polaris-one · 10 months

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Time Management Coaching Techniques That Work

You might think that time management is a habit, like brushing your teeth. It’s not. Time management is a skill, and like any other skill, it requires practice to master. If you want to become more efficient in your daily life, whether you are an entrepreneur or working in an office environment, here are some effective time management coaching techniques that work:

Set goals.

When you set goals, make sure they're specific and measurable. For example, instead of saying "I want to lose weight," say "I want to drop 10 pounds." This makes it easier for your coach and yourself to track progress and know when you've reached your goal.

Your goals should also be achievable but challenging--which means that they may take some time and effort before they are achieved (and sometimes even longer than expected). For example: "My goal is to be able to run 5 miles nonstop by September 1st" versus "I would like to run 2 miles nonstop by April 15th."

Finally, always remember that your goals should align with what's important for you in life--not someone else's idea of success or happiness!

Prioritize.

Prioritizing is a key component of time management coaching techniques that work. It's important to prioritize the tasks on your list in order of importance, starting with those that are most urgent and working down toward those that can wait until later.

The first thing you need to do is figure out what needs doing right away, then next week or month, etc., until you reach the bottom of your list (which should include everything else). For example:

Urgent: Call insurance company about car accident claim.

Important but not urgent: Go through my clothes closet and donate anything I haven't worn in over a year; call library about renewing my library card; call doctor's office about scheduling annual checkup appointment.* Less important than either of these two categories above: Call friend who lives nearby who doesn't have children yet so she can keep me updated on their social life without having too much pressure from them about getting together soon; buy new pair shoes online since mine aren't comfortable anymore; bring old books back from storage unit where they've been sitting since moving here two years ago

Create a To-Do List.

When you have a clear idea of what needs to be done and when, you can start scheduling your time accordingly. Make sure that the list is concise and easy to read so that it doesn't become overwhelming or confusing. You want it in front of you at all times so that when something pops into mind during the day (and it will), there's no question about whether or not it should go on the list for later that night or tomorrow morning: just write down every single thing!

Schedule your day in 15-minute increments.

It's tempting to schedule your day in 30-minute increments and then get frustrated when you don't get everything done. But if you break up the tasks into smaller chunks, it's much easier to see what needs to be done and how long each task will take. If a task takes longer than expected, just schedule another 15 minutes on top of that time slot so that you can finish up at the end of the day without feeling rushed or stressed out by not finishing everything you set out to do.

When you get distracted, go back to your list immediately.

If you start doing something else and then realize that you are no longer on task, stop what you're doing and go back to the original task. You can't do everything at once, so focus on one thing at a time! If it helps, use an alarm or timer to remind yourself when it's time for a break or another activity.

Focus on the task at hand, not the entire job or project.

It's easy to get overwhelmed by the big picture. When you're working on a project, it's natural to think about all that needs to be done and feel like you won't be able to get it done in time. But if you focus on one small thing at a time, then eventually everything will get done!

For example: If I'm working on organizing my closet, I might start by taking out all of the clothes from each drawer and putting them into piles based on what kind of item they are (tops vs bottoms). After this step is complete, I'll start sorting through those piles by color and type (shirts/sweaters vs pants). Once I've grouped everything together into categories based on category and style--and separated out any items that don't fit anymore or no longer suit me--I'll put them back into their original drawers according to category so that everything has its own place where it belongs!

Take breaks when you need them.

Take breaks when you need them, but keep track of how much time you're spending and what you're getting accomplished during those breaks.

Make sure that your body is getting enough sleep, healthy food and exercise, relaxation and positive social interactions. Your brain will thank you for this!

Delegate tasks that are not a priority for you and your business.

Delegation is an important part of time management. It's the act of assigning responsibilities to others, which frees up your time and energy.

If you're like most people, delegation is not something that comes naturally--and it can be difficult to learn how to delegate effectively without making mistakes along the way.

One technique that works well for me when delegating tasks is asking myself these questions: "Is this task something that I really should be doing?" "Does this task fall within my skill set?" If yes, then I have no problem taking on more work! If not...then it's probably best if someone else takes care of it instead!

These simple tips can help you manage your time.

Here are some time management coaching techniques that can help you improve your productivity.

Set goals.

Prioritize the tasks on your to-do list and schedule them accordingly, so you can make sure that each task is completed as soon as possible.

Create a to-do list every morning before starting work or school, so you know exactly what needs to be done before leaving for the day (or night). This will also give off a positive vibe in those around you!

Schedule your day in 15 minute increments; this will allow for breaks when needed but also force focus on what needs done right now instead of letting things pile up later on down the line when they could get even more stressful than they already are at their current momentary level of "not being stressful enough."

Polaris One is the world's first time management coaching business. We provide our clients with the tools and strategies they need to get more done in less time, so they can spend their days doing what matters most to them. Polaris One is proud to provide Time Management Coaching. We know that you're busy, and we want to help you get more out of your day.

Our time management coaching services are designed with one goal in mind: helping you manage your time better so that you can accomplish more of what matters most to you. Polaris One wants to help you maximize your productivity, minimize stress, and improve the quality of your life in general.

Polaris One 310 Laguna Vista, Alameda, CA 94501, United States +15102893350 https://www.polarisone.com/ https://www.google.com/maps?cid=6776342651580498392

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rayne-the-neutrois-nerd · 1 year

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First Lines Game

Rules: Share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you've written less than ten, just share what you've got

I was tagged by @subatoism thank yooou!! I have written/started over 10 fics in my life but tbh lately most don't make it past the planning stage and a looot of my old ones were written by hand and I've lost those notebooks;;; I only have one fanfic actually posted rn and its from 2018 oh no. Maybe I'll fill it out with some of my ideas even though I haven't actually written any prose... Anyways here we go.

1) Chief Medical Officers Personal Log, Stardate 51306.65

Lieutenant Naxeha Maten has arrived on the station, after nearly a year of being promised that a crisis counselor was to be provided to the station to help those who went through the events of the Dominion War. (What We Bring Back, WIP. Basically my continuation after the finale of DS9)

2) "I can't believe you would set them up like that!" Julian was stomping around the room, hands plowing through his hair. (Unnamed WIP where instead of Miles, it was Garak who discovered Julians secret in Dr. Bashir I Presume)

3) The bright lights of the city flashed by the taxi window. Multiple skyscrapers, advertisements, and billboards sported their on unique set of colors. (Mein Herr, SHINee fanfic)

4) Persona 5 fanfic inspired by the story of the Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge album by My Chemical Romance. Ship is Akeshu (Akira x Akechi)

5) Pre- Danger Days (by MCR again...) fanfic following the lives of the Fab Four while they still lived in Battery City and how they became Killjoys

6) A Mirror!Garak x Julian idea where Julian was forced to stay after the first trip into the mirror dimension and M!Garak takes a liking to him and tries to use him to overthrow Indendant Kira.

7) I uh... do have a list of Kinktober stuff to try, mostly as practice for writing smut because I'm really bad at it...

I can't think of any more;; I do have a couple of original stories to turn into novels but this is fanfic specific so I won't add that here...

I also uh... don't know 10 people who write fanfic, or have openly shared they write it (even if they haven't posted) so I guess uh... @a-star-that-fell and @wanderingwriter87 if you haven't been tagged already. (You also don't have to do it if you don't want to;;;)

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babaenghumayo-blog · 2 years

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It has been a while

I can’t remember the last time I have shared what the past years has been for me except to look at the time stamp of my previous posts. Last time, I was summarizing what 2018 and 2019 did to me and now it’s 2022 already. So much time had passed by. The COVID-19 pandemic, the work-from-home set-up, resignation from my SGV, 2 birthdays passed, flying more than 10 miles away from home for a job, living in Europe, quarter-life crisis and many more. I will try my best to elaborate here what has happened from 2020 onwards.

March 2020 was the start of the pandemic. Everyone’s life have been affected with this and so much has changed ever since not just in the Philippines but globally. People became more cautious with health, life insurances particularly boomed since then. Many lives have been taken as well. It was a hard year for everyone. It was the first time work-from-home set-up has been implemented throughout our company and to be honest, it works better for me because my job really has no boundaries with my personal life to begin with, with all the overnight days we have to do in the office and in the client’s office. Working in the comfort of our home with my family was much easier and lessen the stress my job is giving me then. I was able to kinda save some money for myself. I even lend some to my mom (which I know was already an uncollectible debt since I lend it and I will never recover it). I also decided to change my career to internal audit, moving from one cluster to another and meeting new people. I can say work has been less stressful since I moved. It was pretty chill unlike before and people in consulting are not so much of a workaholic compared to assurance. I mean, they still have a life after work haha.

After being promoted as a senior auditor before transferring to Consulting service line, I have been thinking of resigning. But I took into consideration the following: first, it was hard to find a job during those times in 2020 when everything was uncertain and having my job then was already a blessing. Second, I told myself I want to experience being in internal audit for a change (besides the fact that I really want to go out of the Assurance service line). And lastly, I’m not confident enough yet to apply for a senior job role outside of the company. I still have to learn the senior role from where I started.

Before I forget to mention, 2020 was also the year I completely changed my lifestyle and motivated myself to lose weight. I remember there was a time in the middle of the night where I will just wake up feeling my chest is tightening and I cannot breath properly like I was choking my own self. That’s when I realize I have to start taking care of my health. Good thing too because my sister has been on a diet program herself already like a month even before I started and I can already see the result in her perseverance and that pushed me to try it myself too. She introduced me to fasting and all the benefits it can give you. I started fasting a bit more and more every week from 14 hours and reaching up to 26 hours as time goes on. I have been on strict diet back then (not so much now lol) as well with no rice, all protein, no sugar, no too much salt, no junk foods and softdrinks and no preservatives. It was hard for sure as I was used to eating junk foods and drinking softdrinks almost everyday. The cravings were so tempting but still, I allocate a cheat day per week usually during Saturdays to pleasure myself with something I love to eat but also doubling my fasting hours after it. After losing about 10 kilos of weight, I also started exercising and some hardcore workouts. Thanks to workout videos in Youtube I don’t have to go to the gym anymore to tone my body. Some more months and I was able to see the results and I was happy when some people recognize my hardwork. It was worth it. Not that long my brother also started being on a diet and exercising more. There has been a time in our house when no one was eating rice anymore and my mom won’t even cook rice anymore because only her and my father were the one eating. Since then I have been kinda cautious about the foods I ate and I am still doing fasting up to this day. :)

So far, that’s what 2020 has been for me. A lot of hardworks, global changes, self-care and triumphs too.

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alwaysahiccupandastrid · 3 years

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This Sarah Everard case is so terrifying for women. But not only am I terrified - I am furious.

⚠️ tw for mentions of r*pe, sexual assault, violence against women, murder etc. ⚠️

She was just walking, including walking by busy roads and not dark alleyways. She was dressed in winter clothes. Even if she HAD walked down a dark alleyway or been wearing something short or “revealing”, she still wasn’t doing anything wrong - she was just walking somewhere.

Her murderer - a police officer named Wayne Couzens - plotted to murder a woman to live out his perverse fantasy. He didn’t plot to kill a specific woman - he knew he would murder a woman, any woman he thought he could abduct, any woman who would be out at night on her own. Sarah was just there.

Not only did he drive miles and hours to kill a woman, not only was he a police officer… he used his badge, police belt, handcuffs and credentials to fake arrest her to get her into his car. If a police officer tells you to go with them, we’re told to not resist, to be obedient or we will be in even more trouble. Even if she HAD done what the MET have just said women should do - “question non uniformed officers!” - it wouldn’t have helped her because he was a police officer. He had the credentials. Why would she run away and resist a police officer? And if women do resist, the police commit violence against them (like at the Clapham Common vigil for Sarah).

He handcuffed her, drove her for hours, then raped and murdered her. This fucking monster strangled her with his fucking police belt. He burnt her body and disposed of her in a pond.

A police officer did this - a fucking police officer, a MET officer, the MET we’re supposed to trust. And you want women to trust them?!!

And I don’t want to hear that “don’t judge the whole profession based on one bad apple”, because guess what? This is not the first time a police officer has harmed a woman. There is misogyny rooted deep in the MET that needs to be addressed. Wayne Couzens was literally nicknamed “The Rapist” by other police officers and had offended in the past by flashing people, and that’s just what we know of - and yet not a single person did anything. The police joked about it. Several officers gave character references supportive of Couzens during the hearings for his sentencing, and female officers told the press that they did not feel as if they could report concerning behaviour by male colleagues.

It’s thought that at LEAST 15 serving or former police officers have killed women in UK since 2009, and HUNDREDS of UK police officers have convictions for crimes, including assault. There are many cases that do not go reported, and so it’s likely the numbers on both counts are actually higher. Why are they still allowed to serve? Why is our government giving them more power and freedom to arrest whoever they please? “It’s not that many” - IT SHOULD NOT BE ANY.

If you can’t see why there’s a huge problem with our police force and why we say “fuck the police”, you’re part of the problem.

And the fear and anger we feel isn’t new - this has been a problem for literally all of our lives.

At 11, I learnt to come home before dark, and if it was dark in the winter on my way home (meaning: every night in winter), I was taught to not go down any dark lanes, and if I was walking the dark lane I had to go down if I got the bus home, I was to walk as fast as I could and to not have earphones in because i wouldn’t hear attackers. Every day from September 2009 to July 2014, coming home from secondary school, I was told to either wait for my dad or grandad to pick me up or to walk down the busiest road that ran near my house and had constant cars on it. I couldn’t take the shortcut down the public footpath on my way home from sixth form college because it was too dark and isolated - I had to go around it and through the village instead, which took more time but was vaguely safer. Since university, I’ve made a point of waiting for the hourly bus that stops just round the corner from my home and on the busiest road, even though I have to wait up to an hour for it usually, because getting the bus that comes every 15 minutes means walking up the dark quiet lane.

At age 13, I learnt not to talk to even very friendly men, even not in broad daylight, even with a female friend, when some old man approached us and started complimenting us, telling us we had “nice smiles” and “I can hook you up with someone who can help you get into acting” and “here’s £10, you go down to the garage down the road and get whatever you girls want”.

At 14, I learnt not to sit in trees in the park by the gate, not even during the day when it’s sunny, when an old man entered the park, took one look at me, and said “you’ve got a nice arse”. I couldn’t prove he had said anything, and I would see him on my way to school sometimes and panic.

At 19, I learnt that I could not trust friendly men online. Apologies to any decent men I have spoken to online - there’s a few who are nice and not weird, I’m not talking about them. I learnt this when a guy I was speaking to on my old blog - who had for weeks just been generally nice and checking in on me - started to send intimate and sexual messages that started with “*hugs you*” and became “*spanks your ass*”, “takes your clothes off”, “f*cks you hard”, just to name a few (and these were the milder ones). When I asked his age, he merely said “older” than me - “more than twice as old as you”, actually. I learnt to not talk to men online, and if I did then I had to set very clear boundaries in a way that wasn’t too obvious - not say it outright but make it clear I am “unavailable”.

I have to carry a rape alarm on my keys, just in case. I could go out to bars if I wanted to, I could have at university when all my peers were - but doing it meant risking the chance of being harmed while intoxicated or on my way home. I have to send my location to my mother if I get any Ubers, if I go out to theatres or cinemas in the evening I have to text my mum to say I’ve arrived safe. I only feel safe out at night if I’m with a man that I trust like my dad or grandad - I got very lucky at Uni because not only did one girl make sure I got home safely at 1 in the morning by calling me a cab, but one boy even stayed with me on another night until my dad arrived to pick me up, because he knew leaving me intoxicated at 2:30 in the morning was dangerous. I have even phoned my grandmother while walking home in the dark because being on the phone to someone means you’re less of a target to an attacker.

Men do not have this experience - or, if they do, it’s nowhere near the fear and worry women feel every day. Women can’t even walk somewhere without being worried of being attacked - we cannot go anywhere without asking ourselves “am I safe?”. Are we wearing the “correct” clothing, so as to not give off the wrong idea? Are we walking down the well lit roads where it’s busy? Are we aware of our surroundings, of every single person nearby? Do I have my keys in my hand, ready to defend myself if I’m attacked? Women are blamed if we are attacked - not men, but women. “She was dressed slutty�� “she was passed out drunk” “she was walking down a dark lane” “she was out late”.

When doing safe guarding training at my current TA job, I came across this phrase: “always think it can and will happen”. Just as a teacher or TA should not think “none of my students will be victims of abuse”, women should not for one second believe that they are safe and “it will never happen to me” - every day we have to think of how to prevent our own assault or murder, just in case.

Every time I’m walking home in the dark, I have the fleeting wonder of “what picture(s) of me will they use if I’m attacked or go missing?”. I was not really surprised when I saw that other women said the same thing. Women wonder it so often it’s almost a joke, an absent minded thought. But it’s not a joke - it’s real life for us, every single day.

Sarah Everard is not a one off case. Sabina Nessa, a 28 year old primary school teacher, was murdered on 18th September this year, her body discovered the next day by a dog walker. So far in 2021, 110 women have been murdered in the UK by men (or men are the prime suspects). Only a handful get national attention because at this point, violence and murder against women have become normalised in this country.

I am not only heartbroken for all of these women and their families - I am scared for my own safety; I am scared for the safety of my mother, my grandmother, my aunts. I am scared for the safety of my 20 year old sister, the safety of my 17 and 14 year old cousins, for the safety of my older male cousin’s two daughters who are only 4 and 1. I am scared for the safety of every single girl and woman I have worked with, the safety of every woman I have ever spoken to.

But I am also furious and filled with rage. Women should not be scared to go out or have fun, we should not have to take such precautions or measures that still won’t completely prevent our assaults or murders. I am sick and tired of the victim blaming when a woman is murdered, of the indifference of “oh another woman”, of this being how women are expected to live their lives.

I’m tired of this problem being ignored by our government, tired of no one giving a shit about us or our safety.

#sarah everard #wayne couzens #tw violence against women #tw rape discussion #tw crime #tw murder #tw assault #tw rape #tw police murder #tw police brutality

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petri808 · 3 years

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Bakudeku canon divergent, vampire quirk AU

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24

If he’d remembered the map’s, he’d checked out before coming correctly, the lake was less than a quarter mile beyond the tree line from where he stood in the clearing. There was a small farming village west of the lake, and it was maybe another couple miles next to the dam. Bakugou was certain that the authorities had canvased the town as well as surrounding areas, but if he was lucky, they’d missed something or someone that saw something that day that could aid in his search. Either way, it was another starting point.

After hiking to the nearest village, Bakugou sought out their small police station. The place maybe had two officers on duty per shift, and three shifts rounding out a day. For major cases, detectives were brought in from the next larger city. It was the epitome of small and very common in the more rural areas of Japan. Because of his notoriety, the authorities knew who he was, but luckily had no idea that he wasn’t a part of the task force.

“I’m doing follow ups,” he did his best to sound official and reign in his temper. “Making sure that no one reported seeing the hero called Deku?” The officer shook his head. “So, no strange events from April twenty-seventh?”

“Strange? Not on that date, but the next day, there was an attack on a citizen. They claimed that they were ambushed late in the evening but could not give any description. The man is a known drunkard and we assumed he was intoxicated and hallucinating until we saw the marks on his arms.”

“Like scratches?”

“No, they looked like an animal bit him. He swore he hadn’t been drinking, but when we made contact, he was still slurring his words and out of it as if he was.”

‘Not very strange but okay,’ Bakugou made a mental note. “Anything else?”

“Two days after that, a woman reported seeing an unusual green streak in the sky.”

Green?! That peaked Bakugou’s interest. “What direction was it going in?”

The man shrugged, “we didn’t ask because we assumed that she just saw a meteor or something going through the atmosphere.”

“Ugh!” he palmed his face. “I need to speak with her immediately. That could be a clue.” Bakugou proverbially rolled his eyes at the thought. ‘Bet the pro searchers didn’t think to ask these kinds of questions.’ Of course, if all you ask is a closed ended, ‘did you see x’ kind of question you’ll only get a yes or no answer. If Midoriya was on the run, he would be a fool to show himself so easily to citizens. So, the clues would lay in the minor details.

“Certainly,” the desk sergeant responded. “I will have an officer take you to her home.”

It was nice not having to walk or use his quirk unnecessarily. A patrol officer drove him to the edge of the town where the woman lived in a small cottage on her farming property. The home was a half mile from the main town and without streetlights, the night would be much darker with a better vantage point to see any phenomena in the sky. While the officer waited in the car with the hero’s belongings, Bakugou knocked on the woman’s door. When she answered, he introduced himself and asked her to tell him any details she could recall from the night of the green streak.

According to the older farmer woman, the light appeared to have originated from the forest bordering her farm and headed in an easterly direction. She pointed in the direction and Bakugou surmised it could be in the direction of Tokyo, but it was too general to know for sure.

“But how do you know it wasn’t a meteor or something naturally occurring?” Bakugou questioned the woman.

She smiled, “Young man, I have seen many in my lifetime and they always travel at a steady pace against the horizon. This one started off slower then sped up. In fact, right before it would have been over the town, it’s speed increased and moved so fast it disappeared in the blink of an eye.”

As if ‘it’ worried about being seen by the townsfolk, Bakugou realized. “And ma’am, are you sure it was a green colored light?”

Again, she nodded and smiled, “like a copper fire streaking through the sky.”

It took a moment for Bakugou to realize what the woman meant. Copper produced a greenish flame when burned, and green was also the color of Midoriyas quirk.

“One last question,” Bakugou asked. “Is there anything else you can think of, or anything in the area you saw the light coming from such as abandoned buildings, any cave systems, or maybe strange animal activity around that time?”

“Why yes! There’s an old abandoned mine in that part of the forest. There are probably still tunnels. My grandfather once worked them until it was closed down.”

Bakugou thanked the woman for her information and told the officer to wait for him while he checked out the mine, but the officer explained he needed to get back to town.

“I can come back around dark once I finish work and pick you up,” the man offered. “That would give you about four hours to do what you gave to do.”

“Yeah, that’ll work. Can you hold onto my stuff?”

“Sure, I’ll just take it to the station.”

“Perfect.” Bakugou agreed. He’ll probably need to stay the night anyway before moving on.

Once the patrol officer was gone, the hero blasted his way towards the forest in the direction the woman had provided to him. She’d told him that the area might be overgrown in many places, but the last time she’d been there, she remembered an old utility shed still standing. And sure, enough the growth was quite dense with little snippets of human structures peeking through the brush. Bakugou first found the entrance to the mine shaft but saw no evidence of activity such as disturbances in the dirt, no footprints, or signs of a campfire, anything that would suggest a human had been using it as a shelter. Next, he moved onto the shed the woman told him about and saw that the structure was still standing. Not surprising from what he could see of the material. Red pine was a strong type of wood resistant to mold, suitable for this kind of environment.

That’s where he saw the first glimpses of activity. Bakugou knelt and touched the recently disturbed earth in front of the shed’s door. Despite being around a month old, the dense tree canopy had protected the footprints and scuff marks from washing away. He moved into the small structure itself, gauging it was approximately eight feet wide by 10 feet deep. The walls were lined with broken shelves, some still holding a myriad of rotting, rusting tools, or other junk left behind. Nothing of real use, even if…

Bakugou’s eyes fall onto a jumbled pile of rags left on a shelf near the entrance. The lighting was poor, but when he got closer, he saw the red spots of dried blood. His breathing slowed, could it be? “Were you injured Deku?” He mumbled to himself as he picked up and turned the rags over in his hands to inspect them. It wasn’t a lot of blood, couldn’t have been very life-threatening injuries, but still, seeing the evidence made his blood boil. “Reckless idiot!” Bakugou screamed. “Where the fuck are you?!”

Of course, there was no way for him to confirm the blood was Midoriya’s and not some passing vagrant in the area. So, he kept searching the ruins of the building. If his friend had sheltered there, maybe he’d left something else behind, just a trace to confirm it was in fact Deku. He found a small burned-out area on the ground with remnants of a fire, including animal bones perhaps from a meal? There were other disturbances on the dirty shelves from a previous person rummaging around the left-over junk, but nothing more. Talk about frustrating!

No, wait… Bakugou zeroed in on a tiny scrap of fabric partially obscured by a shelf as if it had fallen and been pushed underneath by accident. It was only a quarter-size of his palm, and the torn piece of fabric wasn’t discolored which meant it hadn’t been there long. ‘This looks like a piece of his uniform,’ Bakugou surmised. It matched the green color Midoriya wore. Now he had a torn fabric the same color of Deku’s uniform, the green streak seen in the sky shortly after the battle, and the recent blood on rags. Circumstantially, it was good enough to convince Bakugou that this had been his friend and the man really was still alive and on the run.

“See!” Bakugou raged to himself in that empty forest. “Stupid idiots! I should’ve been out here looking sooner not them! Who else would know Deku better than me?!” ‘Tch,’ those fools in the task force didn’t know anything considering the woman told him no one else had talked to her before him. What took him less than a day to find, was more evidence than the authorities had found in a whole month of searching!

Originally, Bakugou had planned to stay in the area, but if he believed this promising information, Midoriya was heading back east. ‘Hopefully back home.’ Three weeks had passed since this woman’s claim of a green streak, so either Midoriya hadn’t arrived back in Shizuoka, or he was still hiding out somewhere. Either way this was promising; something better than nothing at all. So, he took the officer up on the offer to stay the night at a small inn they hooked him up with, but bright and early the next morning Bakugou caught the bus out of town heading in the direction the woman provided. ‘I’m coming Deku…’

#bakudeku #bakudeku fan fic #bkdk #bakudeku fan fiction #katsudeku #ktdk #decchan #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #bakudeku canon divergent au #vampire quirk #ch 4 #bloody passion #petri808

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bookofmariokingofmaiami · 3 years

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This is the second time making this post because i am angry as fuck because for some reason when I added the names it didn't save so I'm doing this shit again

Hey! I had a stupendus idea, the past few days I've gathered a bunch of mitten squad quotes and captain sauce quotes

Soooo, I'll put wich book of mario characters would say each quote and we'll see what happens

Yes I know 99% of the mitten squad quotes is gonna be bolivia and carbon

Also, some quotes reference characters and locations, so I'll put an [ ] with what I think the book of mario counterpart would be

MITTEN SQUAD SEGMENT

Lewis:"I have successfully turned an ordinary kitchen utensil into the most valuable fork in the known universe, no one man should have this kind of power, but I am not mortal man, as a sexualy identity as a big rock being thrown into the ocean"

Princess of peaches, talking about 1 TEC-20"The robot wasn't able to pick the lock and I lacked the fire power to blow the bitch open"

Marc:"I left a broom there too so my bucket wouldn't be lonely"

Carbon:"Calm down vegetarians I am talking about animals in video games, animals in real life matter way less"

Barney one:"Killing it isn't the hard part, the hard part is getting away from the explosion of the goddamm Nagasaki bomb strapped up its ass that was rigged to explode once it died"

Bolivia:"Todd Howard [barbie], even in death you find a way to fuck me"

Bolivia:"We came back to the little shit with the ant problem and killed most of the ants, I left one alive for the boy, either he becomes a man or that ant will have a very good day"

Goomb:"Me brain fixed gud no hurt no more"

Marc:"Picked up trash for the make a wish kid"

Bolivia, talking about maria:"Because she hits like a bull with down syndrome and has the personality of a piece of plywood"

Belize:"You might be wondering, who is the boy and who is the girl? I won't give it away but I will say this, the knife is a whore"

Maria:"I had armor, i had supplies, i had pockets full of room temperature tomatos"

Bolivia:"For some reason I thought that stupid the horse v2 could fly, bad decision on my part"

Carbon:"For some reason this shrapnel character had 200 BB's, what a weirdo, who caries around 200 BB's?, anyway, I talked to daddy and brought my 300 BB's and headed off to clear off the Jefferson memorial"

Goverman::"Get a juice box and strap on your helmet, because we're going to hell"

Carbon:"I punched a puppy to death"

Marc:"My iq is similar to that of a 14 year old block of cheese"

Lewis:"Theres an oxygen exhaust pipe, the second best tipe of pipe to suck on to keep yourself alive, for those who need hand holding, that was not a drug reference, this is a family friendly channel, it was a suicide joke"

Bolivia:"I got an amazing slow motion shot of dogmeat getting fucked to death by a nuclear warhead"

Maria:"My only option was to become a vampire, wich sucked"

Bolivia:"But just as when like how every virtual dog goes to hell when it dies, what the fuck does that even mean?"

Carbon:"I took advantage of a unconscious military officer and beat him to death"

Barney one:"Nothing else says more victory than overdosing on drugs after a war"

Prof. Ceasar reality:"And decided to go to the much bigger and much more research facility x-13 research facility facility center, WHAT? I think I had a stroke"

Bolivia:"Used more than 3% of my frag mines to blow up a dog"

Carbon:"The last few coursers ran for their non existence lives and I went after them because I'm not letting anyone get away, one got away"

Maria:"I got a warning saying that nuka world is intended for those level 30 or above, Mathematics show us that me being lv11 is close enough to lv30"

Carbon:"Killed a pain-maker and got a glimpse into the big G in the sky who manifested himself as a fire axe floating in the air, this voodoo shit has no place in zion so I chopped of the pain-maker's legs and arms so If there is an afterlife he will be a cripple in hell for all eternity"

Goverman:"Its head turned into jelly, I threw its egg down into the nightmare bellow, and then I jumped after it"

Carbon:"A herd of big hornets paid the ultimate price for being alive"

Goverman:"Used his gun to turn off a woman"

Maria:"Me being the player can't open the door, theres a know you have to twist it its a whole process"

Goverman explained why maria survived the fall:"One of them belonged to God and refused to die"

Goombell, talking about hoko saba:"The dragon I pretended to not exist a few minutes ago is one of my mom's friend's kids so I had to play with him even tho he's weird"

Belize:"There was no hamster's luck in a garbage disposal chance that I would follow this giant fuck all the way to the cit ruins"

Lewis:"Along the way i saved a shopping cart from drowning and returned it to its family"

Prof. Ceasar reality:"Its about 24 million cheez its away from New vegas"

Bolivia:"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to bedworld"

Carbon:"With enough notches in my pistol to spell psychopath in braille"

Gooverman:"I spie with my little eye a ville whore who deserves to die, I cleaved her back in half with my stick and what I saw was glorious"

Maria?:"Its kinda like playing the floor is lava, but you can't see the lava and instead of burning to death you turn into a vegetable"

IDK"I hid from Ringo by hiding in ringo"

Bolivia:"The plate worked as well I thought it would, wich means it didn't work"

Bolivia:"There was a 3 for 1 discount on dead raiders if you use the promo code granade at checkout"

Belize:"The only explanation is that has a 5th appendage wich he pulls out on special occasions, wich probably isn't the case, we all know elmo doesn't pull out"

Goomb:"You don't need those things, Jesus got trough his life without any guns"

Goombape:"When i played it as a children"

Barbie:"Its like how you don't know if your life has any meaning until you die and see your score"

Belize:"This was the most stealth oriented part of the game by a metric mile"

Bolivia:"I stripped him naked, talked with Elliot [lewis] whose face bothered me for some reason,Talked with the samurai[maria], talked with red dead redemption [barney one]"

Carbon:"Some idiot spilled red paint on the clouds"

Bolivia:"Before traveling with the wizard, I spent some time pestering earnie with the prospect of friendship, by walking back and forth in front of him, making him think i wanted to talk to him just for me to keep on walking,I was voted the quietest guy I high-school and I know how loud earnie is screaming inside his head right now, it's kinda fun to be in this side of it :) ,also this isn't related to the video in any way, I just wanted to make it known that i have a sealed copy of elmos letter adventure for Nintendo 64 and you don't"

Maria:"I knew I could use that as a lighthouse of sorts in order to cast myself further into the ocean until i drowned in my own disappointment"

Goombell:"Vulpes[carbon] was adopted, his mother is both infertile and imaginary"

Belize:"Being alone is mental, you can be surrounded by friends family laughs and love on Christmas morning and still be alone in your head"

Bolivia:"I acted in self defense by committing various war crimes"

Carbon:"My throwing spears were broken and wouldn't fly,stupid fucking game"

Bolivia:"That wasn't a lie, it just wasn't the truth"

Maria:"If there's anything Shaun b knows to do is die"

Boombell:"The number of bear traps I activated for sexual reasons turned my angles into a fine powder"

Goverman:"Where the grass is green and the air is even greener"

IDK"I consulted a doctor who flucked out of medical school and followed his advice by killing myself"

Belize:"Being a futuristic[X-nauti], nazi dominated world version of polly poc,etc it has its own set of drawbacks"

Marc:"They're mass effect 3 of fallout 3's 5th dlc, I've never played mass effect"

Lewis:"Who loves their father like how their brother loves his mother's sister"

Carbon:"Like most existential crises it went away after I killed somebody"

Carbon:"If you're wraped in chains and dropped into an empty bathtub to drown, a snorklew won't save you"

Goombape:""A wise man once said "hi! Jeanie may's here" and he's right, there has to be a better way""

Browser:"After it took 3 grown man to kidnap a baby with a gun"

goldbob:"The lever action gun riffle can kill a mutant in a single shot if you land a shot that can kill it in one hit"

Maria:"Its 2020, Noone wants to use their hands anymore"

Bolivia:"Before journeying into more death, some jackass hit me with a granade and killed me, not the explosion, the granade bouncing off my soon to be corpse is was what made me dead"

Belize:"Some Neanderthals gave me their bullets to hold in a pretty rude way >:("

Princess of peaches:"Im not worried about offending blind people, it's not like they'll be watching this"

Carbon:"30 seconds is longer than you'd think, ask anyone whose been on fire"

Lewis:"I was as useful as a comatose toddler with a nerf gun at pearl harbor"

Goomb:"I also poused the challenge to satisfy the curiosity of mine regarding the birds in the sky that Don real because birds aren't exist"

Marc:"Any doctor worth their weight in styrofoam cups can fix a leg with their feet"

Bolivia:"I had me a silenced weapon, but I didn't account for today being his birthday, this changes everything, so I shaped for hollow point"

Carbon:"Maybe if Steve earlin had a gun instead of a snorklew he'd still be alive today"

Marc:"It took me 30 minutes and 3 phone calls to get my food because I'm too much of a pussy to go outside at 10 o'clock at night while drunk in a Christmas sweater after news year to steal my own food of one my neighbors doorstep"

Maria:"We've got rogue, tank dampse, and squidword"

Lewis;"And they're no joke, but I am, I am the big joke and my body is the punchline"

Bolivia:"I got mentally Nagasaki'd by this guy at the stables"

IDK"And went outside where Victor is unhappy with me, after killing Victor, Victor came out of the lucky 38 to avenge victor"

Bolivia:" i shot a kid, i sent that little bitch to the moon"

Sushiya, testing her products:"The door was of its axis, a plate was misbehaving on the chair, a cattle was dancing on the table like the whore she is"

Carbon:"And went shopping for dead bodies, they weren't in stock, but i know a guy who knows a guy who could help me out, both of those guys are me"

Bolivia:"Now vault yosh is I your head too, and he won't be going anywhere"

Maria's son:"As much of a monster that I look like, I think it's gonna work"

Sushiya:"But you know what they say, imagination is what happens when annoyance meets drug use"

Carbon:"If they're stupid enough to be in my way they might as well be my enemy"

Goverman:"But the slippery bastard was too clever, he walked around it, I didn't even know that such a maneuver was even possible"

IDK"Homeland security at this point has yet to be impregnated by a sentient barrel of oil"

Bolivia:" if I drunkenly put a giant hole on my sink with a goddam coffee cup imagine what I could do with a gun"

Belize:"Got ambushed in the freezer while searching for chicken nuggets"

Goverman:"But the fucken bullet Williams come flying out of fucking nowhere"

Maria:"The next second you're in a universe where everything that exists is the sick bastard child of a drunken fuckfest between a pin screen and a light brush"

Bolivia:"Ask the cashier if they have a granade, if they say no, say nothing for a few seconds, put a big smile, put your hands on theirs and quietly ask, would you like one?"

Sean hampton:"Can't do anything until I have my arms around a fat man"

Barbie:"The premise of this run is that I have no arms and I must dab"

Maria's son:"I told you before that I was a genetic disaster"

Bolivia:"And in that cabin, theres some west Virginian mountain folk who are so deep in incest that one of them somehow managed to be his own father"

Bolivia:"Can you hear that? It's…. It's an air conditioner! And it's so fucking anoying, aw no I hurt it's feelings :( "

Goverman:"He could probably put the end of his musket inside his mouth, pull the trigger and still miss"

Barney one:"The big beaver ended his life in stile, he even made a summersault into the afterlife"

Goverman:"Im a good Christian boy, I'll save my ammo for my suicide"

Carbon:"I am not Cinderella, I'm a parasite"

IDK"I played with a doggy too, it used the flesh on my arm as a chew toy, and I booked his nose with a nuclear newspaper to show that that kind of thing isn't allowed in the mitten squad household"

Sean hampton:"The crusable is a magical weapon like divorce papers, capable of tearing everything it comes across in half"

Barbie:"The curse of grandma sparkle managed to reach me all the way in hell"

Barney one:"If you are gonna get a cat, you might get a gun aswell"

Belize:"Corn on the Joe sat back not helping his brother's"

Carbon:"I bought 24 regular bullets,28 hollow points, and 60 that need to wear a helmet"

Bolivia:"After the squad died I had to content with the leftovers, the scraps, statically speaking the majority of what remained"

Lewis:"What I need to face is like a toddler with a learning disability, that would be fair"

Carbon:"I took both left eyes of this dead guy "

Carbon:"It took longer to pull out the Esther than it took of kill the general"

Sushiya, while high:"Deeper inside shit got weird, i killed a giant skeleton right? Nothing weird about that, but then his body just kinda danced in place really slowly, I tought speeding up time would fix it, that was a massive fucking mistake, and changing time back to normal was an even bigger mistake, he'll be hunting me until I die, but until then he'll still be dancing"

CAPTAINSAUCE SEGMENT

Carbon:"They're old, how hard can it be to turn them into blueberry jam and ram them into the grass"

Belize:"I guess if you do electrocute a tank enough it would just explode"

Boliviz:"Id have a better chance of finding a snowball down here than winning a coin toss"

Marc:"How does my Christmas lights break to a stiff breeze but these ones are practically terminators"

Barney one:"I never tought id see the day where I would have to hire a sniper to assassinate a troublesome light bulb but here we are "

Lewis:"I get the feeling if you try to milk a minotaur then you're gonna be its wife"

Sushiya:"In the history of mankind do you think we've ever seen a snake fight an octopus?"

Goverman:"Lets see if you can wobble your way trough the grim reaper" [the grim being carbon]

Goldbob:"Its a steaming pile of something ill tell you that much"

Goverman:"He died? How! Did he have an allergic reaction to the sun?"

Goomb:"Michelangelo is Swiss cheese and where good to go"

Bolivia:"It really looks like I'm taking a sharpened stick to a bazooka fight"

Maria:"HOW DID I GO FROM FIGHTING AN OCTOPUS IN A SUIT TO WW3???"

Princess of peaches, talking about 1TEC-20:"Im playing pictionary with a blind robot"

maria:"Theres on the nose dialogue and then there's punch you in the nose dialogue"

Bolivia, talking about barney one:"This lady looks like her father was half refrigerator"

IDK"Im supposed to sabotage the mail missile assembly line but it looks like someone got here before me"

Belize?:"And the ghosts of previously murdered pianos???"

Maria:"Im getting outsmarted by puppets"

Bolivia:"After careful deliberation with my associate we've come to the conclusion that the local government must have Removed all quarters from circulation, the laundromat went under and before you know it the entire society fell into nudism and then anarchy "

Carbon?:"This is like the hunger games of sesame street"

IDK"Im a weird shotgun santa"

Garlic?:"Oh damm! CTHULO IS THICC"

Krump:"What kind of interdimensional time traveling toilet is this?"

Carbon:"Wheater it be cultural appropriation or demonic abomination, i don't realy care im just gonna try to hit it with a pee bucket"

Carbon:"THIS IS THE MEDIEVAL RUSSIAN VERSION OF DRIVING INTO BATTLE WITH A TANK BUT SHOOT PEOPLE WITH A BB GUN"

Belize::"I DIDN'T KNOW GRANNY WAS TAKING GRAVEDIGGER TO CHURCH THIS MORNING"

Goombell:"This isn't a bridge its just the worlds weakest motorcycle trebuchet "

Bolivia:"Oh hellow mr berry"

Carbon:"Giant alien space worm 2020, make America worm poop again"

Bolivia:"When did snuffy[barney one] decide to judas me and join the hobbits?[origamis]"

Lewis:"Theres a surprisingly high amount of chickens in this map and a dramatic lack of eggs"

Bolivia:"Im pretty sure we've sent the first claim to the moon"

Maria:"And yet I'm forced to defend myself from stuff like bloodthirsty scp's using nothing but uncooked t-bone stake, I mean technically its doable but it doesn't make It any less ridiculous"

Barbie:"What's the point of a metal detector if literally everyone here has somekind of cybernetic, like I swear to God If I walk trough here aND you guys start pounding the shit out of me just because I got a couple of extra inches of robo-dong IM GONNA BE PISSED"

Bolivia:"Everyone's wearing slick black suits meanwhile I look like somebody skinned a couch from the 70s"

Sushiya:"Is this bacon flavored weed or weed flavored bacon?"

Sean hampton:"Do you think that Darth Vader ever had to deal with a rebel or a henchmen who was into getting chocked? Like starts force checking them and they tell him to go harder?"

Koopley:"I was stabbed to death by a naked man with a spear and my arm is perpetually running"

Koop kotu:"So I'm crazy enough to be locked behind bars but not crazy enough to think I can fly*

Bolivia:"Usually spooders have 8 arms not 8 abs"

Carbon:"I just bludgeoned Jesus to death with a stick of meat, I'm guessing he's gonna be back in a couple of days he's gonna be looking for me so we'll start running now"

Carbon:"Im done with words, shooty goody time"

Maria?:"Id have a better time cutting down bushes then these strange little robo hobits"

Belize:"Dad this is not the time to be dancing with crabs!"

Maria:"Thats my little brother, who has a fully posable deny devito action figure,I've always been jealous of that one"

Bolivia:"The turns are tabbleling"

Maria, talking about barbie:"She's not exactly the brightest tool at the picnic"

Belize:"Are you kidding me mom? Realy?, you were the one that said you're sick of seeing donkey kongs donkey dong"

Maria:"I have no idea what was in that Wonster energy drink that made him go master roshe style"

Bolivia:"I want to file a complaint against Stacy [belize] for T-posing to assert Dominance over me"

Marc:"Believe it or not dangling a padlock the size of a shoebox from a doorknob does as much work as I want to"

Caesar reality:"You can never have too many rotten floor bananas"

Carbon:"Poisoning your boss is probably not the best way to skip work, but ya boy gotta do what he has to do"

Goverman:"I'll take nicknames of my penis for 300$ alex"

Starvinden?:"I guess we'll just leave you in your special sarcophagus mr tutan-deez-nuts"[browser]

Lewis:"I've been skipping work for 2 weeks now and I'm starting to think that my computer isn't even plugged in"

Bolivia, talking to maria:"Your suit smells like a wet fart and your mouth smells like a ashtray"

Bolivia:"If anyone needs me I'll be on the insane asylum, why am I caressing a mannequin on top of a boat?"

Carbon:"Would you like to hang yourself or be crucified? Dealers choice!"

Bolivia talking about carbon:"He's doing something ingenious probably diabolical……..or he's dressed as a panda"

Marc:"We should really pay for security around here not only are people breaking in there is also a giant spine breaking chickens"

Maria to Bolivia:"You are very angry at that stake"

Sushiya, after using its products:"I wonder why was I twerking at the office statue"

IDK"WHY IS THERE A GIANT NAKED MAN IN THE LOCKER CHOCKING ME TO DEATH WITH A CHAIN??!!!"

goombell:"I guess we're gonna leave the cookie monster dildo in the locker"

Sean hampton, to Maria:"My love for you is like diarrhea, sometimes I just can't hold it in"

Bolivia:"You're watching me In a Google video platform playing a game from a Google gaming platform that was translated using Google translate, if this isn't a dystopian future I don't know what is"

Bolivia?:"I couldn't have predicted the run after her like a velociraptor made out of pool noodles"

Lewis:"Jumping Jack neighbor help me!"

Bolivia:"Bread! There's no bread,there's your bread! That's a cookie God dammit"

Belize:"So I can be invited to the worlds saddest birthday party"

Maria:"I guess we're playing ring around the Rosie till I lose his dumb ass"

Carbon:"If you see jehovah's witness you tell them to eat shit"

Bolivia:"HOW CAN YOU AFFORD A GUARD BIRD AND NOT A DOOR STOP?"

Bolivia::"For my shopping list I need to find a floppy disk with a s, but for the distraction I could use a floppy dick with sunglasses and a tie"

Carbon:"I really hoped that your little bird bath had a couple inches of water so I could steal a tiny toaster to throw it in with you"

Belize::"Its pretty safe to say Mr voice bad Benjamin good, but we just saw Benjamin talk with the grim reaper and pull around a cart wich is about the size of a child's body"

Goombell:"She may have a crush on the interdimensional death fox"

Maria:"Its like the herpes of craft supplies"

Barney one:"Everyone wants to split checks for keano Reaves, even if they're a 10ft dragon made out of logos and seizures what is going on right now?"

Sushiya, high, again:"When I dilapidated the banana and poked the mayo's brain then had an indept conversation with the strawberry cocoon did bread get arrested? I didn't see the police come by, that would make sense because the alcoholic cat ran away"

Carbon:"IF THEY HAVE AN ASS TO PULL PUNS OUT OF THEY HAVE TO HAVE A BRAIN TO THINK THEM UP"

Goombell:"I think I graduated for the university of food torture"

Well, this is all, took some time but it's here, hope you enjoyed

Frequent reblogers

<《{[(@boom-fanfic-a-latta )]}》>

<《{[( @gumdorp )]}》>

PLEASE REBLOG!

#funny #mario #paper mario #book of mario #bolivia #mary #barbie the bob omb #1000 infernal air sleeves #quotes #captainsauce #mitten squad #paul #goomb #goverman #goombell #carbon

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straightouttaneptune · 4 years

Text

You’ll come with me, won’t you?

Pairing: Harley Quinn x Reader

Warning: It’s different. Joker is a bitch. Reader becomes kind of morally weird as the fic progresses. People die.

Summary: Y/N is a baby psychiatrist, who just started out. Suddenly, she is trusted with the most feared case of all. Harleen Quinzel. Y/N thinks it’ll be good for her career, or will it?

A/N: I couldn’t find a good ending to this for the longest time, I’m so glad I did. Also, this is for my 500 followers fic queue :) Thank you for the love, darlings✨

—————————————————————

“Harleen Quinzel?”

That was a name you’d heard before. That was a name everyone’s heard before, at least once in their lives. But it was not the name that had surprised you, but it was the fact that her name was right there on top of your long patient list.

“Yeah, congrats Y/N. She’s pretty famous around here. Straighten her out and you’ll probably be in the big city in less than a year.” Your colleague, Megan peered into your books over your shoulders and patted your back affectionately.

You were one of the new psychiatrists in the business, and you had been dealing with criminal minors, the less mental mental patients and all the clients that newbies would usually handle. Being fresh out of university after holing up in the labs and libraries, you needed to gain some experience first before taking on the really hard cases.

Or... that’s what you were told.

“C’mon, Meg, you gotta know more than that. Why would they pass her case to me? She’s a rank SS psycho.” You pushed, looking up at her through your lashes in a slightly accusatory manner.

She gave you a look that asked; “Do you really want to know?” And you nodded.

“Well, I heard the other docs, the guys who were like 10, 20, hell, 30 years into the business, they all got their brains scrambled by... this girlie.” Her index finger landed on the profile photo of Harley Quinn, an apologetic look in her eyes.

You rolled your eyes, not necessarily at Megan, but at whoever it was that tried to deal this card to you. “You gotta be kidding me.”

“It’s cruel, but you can always turn it down, y’know?” Megan set her books aside, her left arm cradling your slumped shoulders.

“Yeah... But I might not.”

Megan’s dropped gaze snapped back up, her eyes wide with surprise. “Really?”

“Yeah. It’s a good way to kick-start my career, I guess.”

\|/

“Hello, new doc.” The moment you entered the room, you regretted making this decision immediately. Harley Quinn sat in a big contraption-looking chair, her hands and feet shackled onto the armrests and legs of the seat. Her platinum blonde hair was untied and unkempt, its bottoms still dyed red and blue, although it seemed to have faded over time.

The only thing dividing the space between you and Harley was a metallic table bolted on the floor, wide enough so even if Harley broke off her arm shackles and reached for you, she wouldn’t be able to touch you. You swallowed your nerves and entered the room with a confident stride, smiling sweetly at the guards as they closed the door with eyes of concern.

“Hello, Miss Quinzel.” You thanked heavens that your words came out right, especially in front of a woman who could sniff out people’s fears from thousands of miles away.

“You’re the first girl I’ve had.” She mused, her eyes twinkling with mischief. But the light in her eyes has lost its original color, you thought. She looked much more lively in photos taken way back then. When she was just a psychiatrist.

“Hm. I guessed that it would be nice to have some heart to heart, female to female.” You reassured your anxious self calmly in your head, repeating the words ‘you got this, Y/N.’

“Do you know why I’m here, and not... Damien? Who usually comes in for your check-ups?” Stowing your clipboard away on your lap, you continued.

“Yeah. Before him was another guy, then a grandpa and just... a buncha stupid-lookin’ guys. But I didn’t like them.” She replied as if it was the most simple thing in the world. The files back in the company would argue differently. Every single guy, either was tormented by her psychotic attacks or totally gone insane from her mental tricks.

“Are you going to do the same thing to me?” You asked, not really knowing what answer to expect. Your eyes remained soft, a small smile gracing your lips as you waited for her answer.

“No. I like ya.” She answered quickly, shrugging and adverting her gaze away to look down at her shackles. “Can I sit down like you?” She shook her wrist lightly, the chains rattling against the armrest.

“Maybe next time, Miss Quinzel.”

“There’s a next time? Yeah!”

You internally smiled to yourself, what a successful human being she would’ve been if not for a man like Joker to ruin her life. Right then, you vowed to whatever higher power was out there, that you’d get Harley Quinn to break free from his spell.

The people in your office were surprised, to say the least, that you were able to keep up your visits to the prison, and that an amateur therapist like you could get the queen of Gotham in a tight little leash. You didn’t like to think about it like that, but rather that she trusts you better than any of the others.

The weekly visits became 2 days a week, and from weeks of good behavior, Harley was allowed to be without handcuffs during her sessions now. You weren’t afraid she’d leap up and strangle you, because of some sort of connection the two of you formed after all those times spent together.

“Hey doc, why can’t you visit me more ‘round here?” Harley pouted, interrupting the current therapy session with an abrupt comment.

You looked up from your clipboard, dumbfounded. Why would she want to have you around more?

“Harley, I’m just your therapist.” You tapped the end of your pencil against the material of the clipboard, locking eyes with the woman. Anyone could see that she was starting to look better, particularly her eyes. They looked more human, compared to the hollow shell they used to be.

“I know, Y/N. But I’ve been doin’ some thinkin. It’s pretty fuckin clear that Mister J isn’t coming for me, and the suicide squad was probably just a one-time thing. And... You’re all I have.” She admitted, slowly sliding down from her pipe chair and laying down on the concrete floor.

The wooden chair you sat on scraped against the hard floor as you pushed it back. Standing up from your seat, you walked over to her in 3 steps. You kneeled down beside her, her skin just inches away from you. “Do you want a hug?” You questioned quietly, your voice softer and more inviting than usual. Harley felt this too, sitting up in a millisecond just as the offer left your lips.

“Yeah.” She almost crawled over to you, her arms wrapping around your neck desperately. That would’ve been terrifying if it was out of context, but she actually wasn’t trying to kill you. She genuinely just wanted a warm embrace.

You felt her slender torso tighten and loosen as if she was trying to repress a sob. Hand carefully sliding over her back, you whispered; “Let it out.”

And she did.

\|/

Time flew by as you continued to work on her case, and you fell into the worst situation a psychiatrist could possibly be in while working. You grew emotionally invested in your client. As a friend, who cared for her well being and happiness.

Maybe... even more.

You still didn’t know if you could trust her though, you managed to keep a cool head and your mind was rational, but that only confirmed the fact that Harley wasn’t playing any tricks on you. That you were genuinely becoming attached to the beautiful prisoner.

Harley, on the other hand, did intend on ruining you at first. Make them run back to where they came from crying, so no one would disturb her again while she waited for her puddin.

But it was all starting to feel different with you.

“Hey, doc?” Harley called out from inside her electric cage. She was being a little bit mischievous that day, and she pulled an armed guard against the buzzing bars when he wasn’t looking. He probably died, she guessed.

But she didn’t like that she couldn’t be near you during your sessions. So a man died, big deal!

“Can you let me out?” She pleaded in the sweetest voice she could muster, calling out to you who was currently propped up on the usual desk, writing down some notes on your clipboard.

“No, Harley. I don’t have the keys to your cell.” You replied without looking up, but you could imagine the cute pout that Harley had when you denied her of something.

“But would you open it if you did?” You looked up at that question, seeing her smiling from ear to ear now, anticipation glowing in her eyes.

“Maybe. I know you won’t hurt me.” You smiled back at her, watching her facial expression carefully. How would she react if you showed some warm friendliness towards her? Could she possibly return to the life she used to have?

“Maybe I will, doc. You don’t know what goes on in here.” Harley leaped up to her cloth swing she’d made for herself, her now almost completely platinum hair draping down her back.

“I hope you won’t hurt me, then.”

You couldn’t forget that split second where Harley’s eyes looked more humane than it ever has been for many, many years.

\|/

“Warning. Warning. Escape Attempt in Sector 9H11.”

The sound of the speaker and the blasting alarm merged together in a chorus of chaos, guards and officers running around to stop whoever the escapee was.

It was 9:30AM and you were just about to enter the asylum for your shift, when this sudden noise almost blasted your ears off. Before you could process what was happening, a bomb went off right next to you, making you scream and clutch your head as you ducked.

The debris fell everywhere along with broken pieces of concrete, and you just stayed there trying to collect your thoughts. Right when a random hand grabbed you by your wrist.

“Hi, doc. I was lookin’ for ya. You’ll come with me, won’t you?” Harley pulled you to the side, hiding the two of you behind a few bushes. Her eyes were electric making you realize that the true “Harleen Quinzel” you’ve been trying to look for is right in front of you now.

“Yeah. Yeah, I will.” You didn’t hesitate to take her outreached hand. Your mind had already been made up since the first time you laid your eyes on her.

#harley quinn #harleen quinzel #harley quinn x reader #harley quinn x y/n #harley quinn x you #dceu #dc #suicide squad #birds of prey #harley quinzel #harley quinn fic #harley quinn imagine

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route22ny · 3 years

Photo

Meet the New Yorkers Who Say They’ve Given Up on the Subways

by Jose Martinez, March 1, 2021

Florin Petrisor swapped the No. 7 train for an electric scooter and never looked back.

Claire McLeveighn started walking to work and hasn’t been on the subway since last March.

Isaac Himmelman began the pandemic without a bike or a car but now he’s “the proud owner of both.”

They are among the millions of New Yorkers who once rode the subway daily, but who, one year into the pandemic, have found other ways to get around — while largely staying away from the transit system.

“It’s the freedom of riding the scooter wherever I want, at any time and it’s much more reliable,” said Petrisor, 40, a dog walker who commutes between Queens and Manhattan on an electric scooter he bought last March for $1,200. “This is how I look at it: I used to buy the unlimited MetroCard every month, but with this scooter, I have gotten my money’s worth and then some in 10 months.”

MTA data shows subway ridership stayed north of five million on weekdays throughout the first week of March 2020 as COVID-19 began to climb. As late as March 6 — five days after the first confirmed coronavirus case in the city emerged — there were 5.2 million daily trips.

But it marked a fleeting ridership peak that, within weeks, would crumble by more than 90% as the pandemic took hold and the subway system turned into what one commuter described last April as “an underground ghost town.”

While ridership has rebounded to nearly 1.8 million trips a day — or about 30% of what it was prior to the pandemic — the MTA is still trying to win back straphangers who have continued to stay away from the subway in large numbers.

The collapse in ridership has also forced the transit agency to repeatedly seek billions of dollars in emergency federal aid as officials call for more police amid a disturbing spate of crimes in a less-trafficked system.

Business leaders say the return of safe and efficient subways is crucial to the city’s economic recovery, and hailed the recent restoration of overnight service to all but two hours daily as a good sign.

Meanwhile, some transportation advocates say there’s a bigger opportunity to transform how New Yorkers get around: On Monday, Transportation Alternatives released a report calling for 25% of city car space to be dedicated to use by people by 2025.

‘Everything Changed’

Asked how the subway can regain riders, MTA officials pointed to cleaning and disinfecting efforts in the subway, along with mask-wearing requirements.

“We are pleased that millions of New Yorkers are once again relying on public transportation on a daily basis,” said Sarah Feinberg, interim president of New York City Transit. “Our commitment to providing a safe and dependable way for customers to get where they need to go remains steadfast.”

But the MTA must contend with riders reluctant to return not only because of safety concerns, but who have moved on to other ways of getting around.

“It was my sole method of transportation before, but once the pandemic started, everything changed,” said Meghan Addison, 31, who used to get to work by subway from Brooklyn to Manhattan. “I just don’t foresee myself using transit unless it’s in the winter or for longer distances.”

Addison, who is now working remotely for her job at a tech company, travels almost entirely by bicycle and said that’s unlikely to change even after COVID-19 is under control.

“There are just so many things you can’t prepare for or predict in New York,” she said. “There is something really liberating about not having to rely on a subway.”

McLeveighn, who previously commuted on the No. 4 train from The Bronx to Lower Manhattan, now treks more than a mile from her home in Kingsbridge to an office in Morris Park on days when she isn’t working remotely.

“It’s a good [long] walk,” she said. “But after having been in a lockdown, it’s kind of enjoyable to walk to the office.”

‘People Aren’t Rushing Back’

Edgardo Rivera, 42, has relied on his yearly Citi Bike membership to commute from Bushwick to his job in DUMBO, Brooklyn, saying the 25-minute ride is “for my health” and tops what would be a 45-minute trip by subway.

“We’re a city of commuters and people aren’t rushing back,” he said. “There is a big mental hurdle and you’re talking to a native New Yorker who’s not afraid of the train system, like someone from out of town might be.”

The number of bicycle trips across East River bridges has gone up, according to city Department of Transportation data, along with usage of Citi Bike, the bike-sharing network.

More New Yorkers are buying automobiles, too, as THE CITY reported last summer. In four of the boroughs, the number of vehicle registrations increased by nearly 40 percent between August and October.

Beatrice Lors-Rousseau, 33, of Windsor Terrace, Brooklyn, said she has not been on the subway since going on maternity leave in December 2019, choosing instead to travel by car.

“We’re thinking about our exposure to others,” said Lors-Rousseau, 33, whose parents live with her family.

Rivera said elected officials, the MTA and employers need to “be on the same page” about encouraging people to eventually return to the subway.

“They’ve got to do something about saving mass transit,” he said. “New York is a city that relies on mass transit whether there is a pandemic or not.”

***

Photo: A commuter rides an empty 6 train in Manhattan, July 1, 2020 (photo by Ben Fractenberg)

https://www.thecity.nyc/transportation/2021/3/1/22308401/new-yorkers-stop-riding-subways-pandemic

#NYC #public transportation #MTA #mass transit #covid-19 pandemic #jose martinez #ben fractenberg

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prorevenge · 4 years

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Won’t pick up your dog’s shit and then steal from me? Move out then.

So this happened at the last apartment complex I lived in. Sorry it’s so long.

My SO and I were renting a ground floor unit at a really nice apartment complex. I wouldn’t say it was a luxury apartment or anything but our ground floor unit had a little patio off the back that led out into a really nice court yard area with hammocks, a walking path, outdoor fireplace/seating area, etc. A lot of people walk their dogs out there or let their kids play out in the grass, including us.

We have a 1 year old cane corso, we got her when we’d been living in the unit for about 2.5 months and she was only 8 weeks at the time. She’s a really good dog and we trained her well. We could let her out to go potty and she’d come right back even if there were distractions/people/dogs out (we always stood on the patio and watched her anyways because our pet agreement said we couldn’t leave our dog unattended). Then we’d go pick up her poop right away if she pooped (also part of the pet agreement as I’m sure is standard at most apartment complexes). We kept a small step trash can outside specifically for her poop bags because we didn’t want to throw them away inside and the only outside trash cans were on the other side of the building (which i agree is super dumb). It really was a small trash can, like the kind you’d tuck into the bathroom between the toilet and the wall. We also had her poop bags hanging on our patio door handle for easy access so we didn’t have to hunt for them every time we needed them.

This lady and her kid moved in on the ground floor in our building, two units down from us. No biggie. We ran into her one day carrying in groceries and my SO held open the door for her. She seemed kind of Karen-ish but was polite and her kid (probably 10-11 years old) didn’t look up from his phone. Whatever that’s pretty typical of kids these days. They also had a dog, a little black and white fluffy thing super cute but not trained very well. Don’t know what kind of dog but it was much smaller than our already giant puppy.

After about two weeks or so, we realized that there were dog turds in the grass right off our patio. We found out the hard way because my boyfriend stepped in it the first time. Luckily he wasn’t barefoot. They were clearly not our dog’s turds as 1.) we always picked up her poop right after she went and 2.) they were very obviously from a small dog, not our 70 pound puppy. We’d been in the apartment about 7-8 months at that point and had never had an issue with this so we figured it was EM’s little dog. I wrote her a polite note that basically was like “Hey neighbor! We noticed that some of your dog’s poops aren’t being picked up and are right off our patio. Per the pet agreement we all have to sign, we all need to be picking up our own dog’s poop each time they go. I’m sure it was an accident and you just didn’t notice, so if you could make sure to do that going forward we’d appreciate it! -Your neighbors in (unit#)”

She wasn’t home so I slipped it under the door and went back to my apartment. A couple hours later this lady is banging on my door and gets really angry with me, insists that it couldn’t have been her dog and how dare I assume. I felt really bad and I apologized immediately, said I didn’t mean to offend her and it must have been someone else. She told me never to bother her with “crap like this again” and stormed off. I was like okaaaaayyyyy.

Not three days later, I was sitting on my patio with a book enjoying the cool weather when I see their little dog run out of their back door - no one with it - and it comes over to me. I said hello to the pup (bcuz I love pups) and then it took a shit right off patio, ran back home and scratched the door to be let in. I saw her kid slide the door open enough to let the dog in and then closed it again without coming outside to pick up the poop. I was annoyed because here I saw it with my own eyes that it WAS their dog and no one was even watching it when it was outside.

So I grabbed a poop bag, picked up the poop, wrote another less polite note about her kid neglecting to watch the dog or come to check if it had pooped/pick up after it, and dropped the poop bag and the note on their patio right by the door, then went back to my reading. EM was quicker to come by this time and stomped right up to me, waving the note around. Then stated that her kid was just a kid and probably just forgot to check. I said I didn’t care, her kid was old enough to stand outside for 3 minutes and come pick up the dog’s poop. She said well there’s no poop bags/trashcans on this side of the building and she didn’t feel comfortable making her kid walk all the way around the building for that. The next part is my own fault, in hindsight. I suggested she put a trash can like mine on her patio and leave their own poop bags handy like we do for our dog. She eyed our stuff, huffed some more, rolled her eyes, refused to do anything about the poop and walked off. At this point I was super annoyed.

I stalked my patio door for the next couple days as much as I could, just waiting. And sure enough on day 2 in the evening when I was about to give up, I see the puppy run outside towards my patio. I whipped out my phone, took some pictures of the dog outside alone (not allowed) and the dog pooping and then took another phone an hour later of the poop still there and time stamped all of them. Then I sent an email to the apartment office people who were always pretty nice and they responded quickly they would give her a warning about it.

And sure enough this lady comes back AGAIN, to get mad and yell at me about how petty I was to report them to the office and now they had a $150 fine for not picking up their dog poop. (It’s worth noting that these fines were rare. PooPrints were not used at this complex. In order for the office to fine someone for dog poop they had to have proof it was that specific tenants dog’s poop and that it wasn’t picked up. Hence the photos I’d taken and timestamped.) I told her that I had tried to be nice about it with her TWICE before and it was her own fault at that point for not abiding by the terms of the pet agreement we ALL had to sign (everyone who had a dog at least).

She went off about how she’s a single mom and she works during the day and her precious baby can’t be expected to pick up after their dog. I told her that a 10/11 year old was plenty old enough to pick up after a dog and that if they weren’t responsible enough then maybe the kid shouldn’t be letting the dog out at all and she should be the one to do it or maybe whoever is home with him should be looking after it. She got angry, told me I had no idea how to be a single mom, that her mom stays with him during the day and shouldn’t be expected to look after her kid and her dog and she stomped off again. I expected to hear more about it but I didn’t. (The ironic part is I AM a single mom; my kid isn’t my SO’s and I raised him alone for 2.5 years before I met my SO, so yes I do know how hard it is and I live 1000 miles from my closest family so I never even had the luxury of being able to have my mom watch my kid.)

Over the next couple of weeks we didn’t find anymore dog turds off our patio. But we did notice our poop bags were depleting and our trash can filling up way more quickly than usual. I had my suspicions and wanted to test it. We had recently bought some small security cameras for inside of our apartment for different reasons and I had my boyfriend set one up outside on the patio. We faced it where it could see our door and trash can but didn’t point to the rest of the court yard or other people’s units (we respect privacy around here).

Sure enough the same evening my boyfriend set it up, I see the kid walk onto our patio, take a poop bag, walk out of frame, and then come back to throw it in our trash can. Okay. Now I’m PISSED but also not trying to fight this lady or her kid. So I moved the poop bags to the inside door handle. It’s a glass door so you can still see them but we always lock our sliding door.

Next morning, I hear someone knocking on the back patio door and I go to see her kid standing there looking annoyed. I didn’t open the door I just spoke loudly enough to ask what did he need. He demanded a poop bag for his dog’s poop. I said I’m sorry but these are our poop bags for our dog and they weren’t free for anyone else to use. The apartment provides poop bags in a dispenser near the trash can on the other side of the building. Kid started demanding a poop bag, saying his mom told him he could use ours, slapping his hands on the glass a few times (trying to scare me? yes I’m so terrified of a ten year old boy...), and finally screaming at me that he’s telling his mother on me. I said fine go ahead I’ll tell her the same thing. Sure enough, a few minutes later his mom is standing on my patio also demanding a poop bag for her dog’s poop. I denied her a bag and asked her to please step off of my patio as she was making me feel unsafe and uncomfortable (my SO wasn’t home). She told me I was a bratty child (I’m 24...) and she demanded I let her use my poop bags as I had already told her she could before. I said no, I told you to get some yourself and do what I do - keep them close by and put your own trash can on your own patio - not use the bags I buy with my own money for my own dog and then fill up my tiny trash can with your dog’s poop. I pointed out she could use a plastic shopping bag if she didn’t want to buy her own poop bags or she could use the bags the complex provided on the other side of the building. She kept going off on me and I finally told her if she didn’t leave my patio I’d call the police as she was harassing me (the apartment office was closed on Sundays and of course it was Sunday). She acted like she was going to call my bluff but then my boyfriend got home and walked up behind me to ask what was going on and she ended up dragging her kid away - again, leaving the poop in the grass off my patio.

So once she was gone, I took ANOTHER timestamped picture of the dog poop, downloaded the footage from my security camera of her kid stealing my poop bags and throwing them in my trash can and the footage from them that morning yelling at me and demanding my bags and my denying them and emailed all of it to the apartment management. I told them that she made me feel unsafe and uncomfortable in my own home, that she and her child felt entitled to come onto my patio and take my belongings. I also went outside, picked up her dog’s poop, looked in the trash can on my patio and pulled out the bags with her dog’s poop (they were significantly smaller than my dog’s poops as I’m sure any dog owners could tell the difference in poops of a 12lb dog vs a 70lb dog). I went and opened all the bags and dumped the poops straight on her patio right outside the door.

On Monday, I heard back from the office lady who said she would take care of it. By Friday, there was a moving truck and the lady and her kid were moving out. Pretty sure they were evicted or at the very least urged to move before a formal eviction process was initiated. After talking to some of our other, much friendlier neighbors, it turns out we weren’t the only ones who had been complaining about her. They’d only lived in the complex for like 2-3 months before they made so many enemies they were kicked out.

Sometimes I think I should feel bad for playing a part in them getting evicted but honestly I can’t bring myself to feel guilty about it. Not my fault she was a lazy entitled bitch who couldn’t even be assed to get a shopping bag to pick up her dog’s shit. I never heard from her about the turds I dropped on her patio but I like to think she stepped in them without looking and knew better than to come bitch to me about it.

sorrynotsorry

(Also, I’m sure they were given more than a week to vacate as those are the tenancy laws here but she packed up and left like a bat out of hell. Guess she didn’t want to stay somewhere she was clearly seen as an enemy... I don’t know for sure that she was evicted or if she was just asked to leave or abide by the lease or what. Office can’t give out that type of info and she and I weren’t exactly on speaking terms for her to give me the scoop about it.)

TLDR; Entitled mom lets her dog shit wherever it wants without cleaning it, I tell her to pick up her dog’s shits or make her kid do it, she refuses, gets a fine from the apartment complex after I send them pics of her dog unattended and the poop not being picked up. She starts letting her kid steal my supplies from my patio, I send video footage and photos to the management and they end up being kicked out of the complex.

(source) story by (/u/MotherhoodEst2017)

#prorevenge #by /u/MotherhoodEst2017 #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #last10

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bibbykins · 4 years

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Heliophilic Rain and His Pluviophile (M)

Yikes, it’s been a hot minute. That’s my bad. I have been having it a little rough with my job and so I’m in the process of finding another one and that among a billion other things is slowing me down. Which makes me wonder if I were to open commissions if anyone would be interested? I also would like to add there is a scene that could be triggering so proceed with caution, please. Either way, thank you for your patience as always, and I hope you enjoy!

Pairing: (Soft) Yandere! Yoongi x Reader Genre: Smut/Fluff

Word Count: 8.5k

Warnings: possessiveness, yandere tendencies, anxiety, unspoken threat of sexual assault, slight violence, oral, penetrative sex, cock warming, toxic relationship (he's yandere ya kno)

Summary: He was the rain just as you were the sun, both too transfixed with watching each other to get any closer. Few things feel more refreshing than drops of fresh rain on heated skin or the warmth of the sun on a gloomy day. It would be a shame to not indulge in the natural wonders of the world before you.

“Her voice was like the wind. I could listen until it was all that filled me. I could listen until she swept me away into the vast ocean of her presence. I would drown if it meant I would drift back to her. Her voice was like the wind. No matter how much I tried to catch it, I would get carried away. Suddenly, I wasn’t in Kansas anymore. Suddenly, home was wherever she said it was, so long as she did so with that voice of hers.”

“His voice was like the tap of rain against a window. He was asking me to go out to see him, but there was something beautiful about the way I knew he wasn’t referring to me specifically. I was a mere onlooker to his presence. Even so, I would catch a cold if it meant I could reach him, even for a moment. I thought this, knowing I would never have the guts to go outside. I made peace with this until the taps on my window turned into knocks on my door.”

——-

The office had an industrial-chic style about it, filled with neutral tones and the clanging of chains for no other purpose except fashion donned upon its employees. The color palette was gloomy and soothing, just how Yoongi liked it, an aesthetic that his employees gleefully shared with him as well. Each morning, Yoongi would look out his office and admire his growing business, eyes never lingering on one place too long, he loved all of the office equally. This much rang true until he couldn’t tear his eyes away from your form.

“She’s like a breath of fresh air, isn’t she?” Hoseok placed his hand on Yoongi’s soldier as he watched you through the glass doors of the conference room you were currently introducing yourself in, “Don’t be too hard on her, she’s competent and hardworking, okay?”

Yoongi could barely hear his friend as he lost himself in the way your eyes crinkled from a genuine smile adorning your face. You were his new host to one of the podcasts his company picked up. From the merger with Hoseok’s company full of his college friends, Yoongi went from popular podcast host and semi-popular producer to a CEO of Min Productions, famous music artists in production and performance, who oversaw the production of music and several podcasts on several topics, and you were what he had initially dreaded.

From the merger, came money, but what also came with it was Namjoon, the PR head of the company Hoseok was a part of, being able to choose one of every five talents for Yoongi to build up, hopefully into fame. Yoongi had just reached his fifth host, the podcasts he chose mostly consisting of music commentary or general life talks from people with aesthetics aligned with his own. However, from the sea of neutral colors and low voices partaking in casual conversation came you.

You were a perky college senior with some light in your eyes still. You were a rare find and had no set style ranging anywhere from pastels to the grunge he was used to seeing, but what never changed was your smile. Your teeth made an appearance at least 10 times a day, judging by the third smile you had just flashed the crew in a two-minute time frame.

Your podcast, however, oddly betrayed your attitude. You ran a sex and lifestyle podcast where you asked questions most people were too shy to throw out into the world pertaining to the unspoken social rules of casual dating and sex. It was interesting, yes, but it didn’t align with the brand Yoongi had been building judging by the synopsis.

The fuss he made to Namjoon ended as soon as he sat down and listened to a podcast of yours.

—��

“I have a formal complaint I would like to file!” You proclaimed as Yoongi found himself listening to your most recent podcast, “Why the fuck can’t I get a sugar daddy my age? It’s almost like… like my age demographic consists mostly of broke-ass college kids living with their parents, in a dorm, or like ya girl, an overpriced apartment and not rich as fuck for no reason. Fucking whack, I’ll say it.” He unwittingly cracked a smile at your charm and sarcasm, “I spent one day on sugarbaby.com and had to watch vanilla straight porn at the number of wrinkly dicks I saw instead of profile pictures. That’s like the most boring porn. So here comes a Patreon plug for the brainwashing I will conduct on myself in case I saw anyone’s grandfather’s penis.” You had an unabashed charm about you that urged him to listen more, maybe just one more episode.

Yoongi found himself listening to your entire discography, even the less promoted music you released once every blue moon, which wasn’t half-bad. However, he couldn’t find a picture of you, most likely because you posted under the alias Sugar Sun. The only pictures of yourself being from behind.

“On this episode of men are trash: men are fucking trash. Hello all, Sugar Sun here, and let’s talk about my day,” Yoongi could feel his intrigue grow, as you kept releasing, your delivery became less forced and more natural, “I don’t talk much in class, believe it or not. I’m a stuttering mess and like two people know my name at my big ass university, so when I do talk and my shit hole of a lab partner yells at me in the middle of a presentation to speak up, I cry, in front of the class. But do I stop the presentation? No, I’m fucking frozen with fear, so I just continue with my tears and the presentation. Bitch, what the fuck I looked like a middle school drama kid doing a monologue in front of her math class for no fucking reason.” You took a deep breath, “In conclusion, I’m sensitive and men are trash. Now, to the podcast.”

You had gained more traction with your commentary on romantic life and general comedy, catching Namjoon’s attention, “Hello again, double S here, with a special announcement. I got like, an actual company to sign me! Wild, I know! I’ll get paid and have meet-ups and stuff, which means you lovely listeners will get to soak in my face and talk to me in person and really experience why the only orgasms I’ve had are self-made!”

—–

“Yoongi!” Hoseok tapped his shoulder, snapping him out of his trance you put him in.

“Sorry, she’s just-”

“Be nice,” Hoseok warned.

“Like sunshine.” Yoongi could feel the air enter his lungs as you sat down with a smile, “Like, what the fuck, Hobi?”

His friend blinked, “Woah, shit, what?” He stifled a laugh, “You know, there isn’t a no-dating policy, right?”

“I’m well aware.” Yoongi rolled his eyes, “But there will be if anyone tries anything.” He spoke nonchalantly and Hoseok choked on air at his friend’s obliviousness while the glass doors of the conference rooms were opened, you pouring out from it, waltzing to Yoongi and Hoseok.

“Hello, Mr. Min and Ho-Mr. Jung, I’m Y/n, or Sugar Sun, thank you for this amazing opportunity.” You bowed as Hoseok shook off his bewilderment for just a moment to give you a small bow with Yoongi.

“I look forward to spending more time with you.” Yoongi spoke in his regular gruff voice, the same one that proclaimed to have your hand in marriage just moments before, “I find you’ll be a breath of fresh air to the company.”

“I also look forward to seeing how your podcasts go, you have a photoshoot in a couple weeks, right?” Hoseok smiled warmly at you as you beamed back to him. Yoongi swore the whole exchange was blinding.

“I do! I’m a little nervous, since it’ll be my big face reveal, and I don’t know how well I model.” You giggled and Yoongi found his new favorite song the moment you did.

Yoongi had a tendency to do this, whether or not he wanted to. He was a passionate man. He craved love and could see it coming from a mile away. Despite being one of the seven main heartthrobs of his college campus, he almost exclusively stuck to serious relationships, and he meant it when he said serious. Yoongi was a little, to put it lightly, obsessive. He was a jealous boyfriend, but he did his best to try not to be too overbearing. He was also excessively protective, and the women he dated were grungy free spirits who enjoyed the chase when all Yoongi wanted was to catch them then hold them for the rest of his life. Despite being blinded by his own passion, he could still see when it wasn’t going to last, having accepted to never find a girl to accommodate and sedate him when needed. However, when you looked his way, or he heard your voice, it was something more than a need being filled.

You felt your heart leap out of his chest, trying not to fall into Yoongi’s hands when you first saw him, and here he was, nonchalantly giving you an inkling of a smile. Maybe it was the lack of a solid fuck or a relationship, but you were definitely breaking some HR rules in your mind.

Suddenly, you became aware of the content you dished out. You talked about your sex life often, and he knows you’re inexperienced and terribly horny. You internally punched yourself in the face. He probably thinks you’re so weird. Yet, here you were, a huge fan of Agust D and now Min Yoongi was staring at you.

Yoongi smiled, “Don’t worry, I’ve had my experience with a face reveal or two.”

You returned his smile, remembering the day Agust D revealed his face. The whole world stopped, and you only fell deeper when you looked at his eyes, “I-I remember, I’m a fan.” You looked down shyly before facing him again.

“Funny, I am a fan of yours.” He spoke lowly as Hoseok had long walked away unnoticed.

You giggled stupidly, “A fan?” Your sunny smile beamed at him. He had always preferred rainy days, but if this was what the sun looked like, he could get used to being a little warm here and there, “I can hardly believe it.”

“I’m gone a lot and yet, your voice has a certain factor to it that draws people in. ” He mused as his eyes trapped you, “I wonder where you’ve been all my life.”

Just like that, the bubble popped. The chimes came to a screeching halt. The rose-tinted glasses were abruptly ripped off of your face. The magic cleared, and you were left with the realization that while you had damn near counted every interaction, no matter how minuscule, and he hadn’t cared to remember you until now.

“Here’s my personal cell,” He hands you a pristine card with silver numbers, “Call me if you need anything, and I mean it.” You take the card with a quaint smile that deflates

He’s never noticed you until now, of course. The answer to his thoughts was that you’ve been right here.

Before Yoongi could register the chill in the air without your smile, Hoseok came back, “Hey Yoongs, let’s go, we got a flight in a few hours.“

“Right.” Yoongi breaks eye contact with you.

“Have a good flight!” You smile, not as wide as before, and Yoongi sees it.

“See you Tuesday, y/n!�� Hoseok waves.

“Don’t be late!” You giggle and as soon as they both are out of earshot, Yoongi grills him.

“You know her?!” Yoongi snaps as he enters the town car.

Hoseok blinks at him, confused, “Duh? I thought that was a given.” Upon seeing his friend’s puzzled face remain, Hoseok’s eyes went wide, “Holy shit, you don’t remember her?!”

The older male blinked in confusion, “I’ve never met her before?”

The younger businessman threw his head back as he placed his hands over his face in frustration, “She was in our forensics class and our history class last year’s fall semester and the year before!” He was exasperated, “Remember the super genius sophomore?”

Yoongi racked his brain. Last year? He had been dating some angsty theology major. How could he have let himself be blinded by a temporary fling when the love of his life was right there? He could kick himself at this moment. No wonder your smile faltered, you had remembered him, “Liar, you can’t be serious.”

“Dude, she tutors me to this day in history.” Hoseok deadpanned, “All she requires is I buy her meals that day.”

“How often do you guys have study dates?” Yoongi grits out as his friend snorts at the notion of it being a date.

“Your possessive is showing,” He snickered, “My girl is all I can see these days, no matter how cute y/n is.”

“I will end you if you touch her,” Yoongi doesn’t hesitate, “Especially with the way you treat girls,” His face scrunches in disgust before he grumbled, “But how often?”

“Every other Tuesday.” Hoseok smirked, “And you mean used to treat girls.”

Yoongi huffed in agreeance.

—-

“Hello, party people.” Your voice entered Yoongi’s headphones as he leaned back on his hotel bed, “Sugar Sun here, in my bedroom. We’re calm, we’re casual, it is a Friday night and this one goes out to my fellow homebodies.” You switched off to play a song. Part of the contract you signed was that you are allowed to go live whenever you liked to encourage and tend to fans. You explained it was almost a tradition for you to set aside a Friday night in once a month for your fans and Yoongi found in comforting as he lay alone.

Your taste in music was so unbelievably cute, he couldn’t help but smile at the lo-fi song, “And we’re back, hello all here and all who are joining as I speak. Today I took a tour of the studio my actual podcasts will be recorded in and holy shit, they seem to actually take me seriously as a personality and even artist, so expect some tunes soon.” Yoongi smiled at this, you don’t even know your potential, “I’m looking at the chat now to see if there are any questions, and- oh, yes, I did meet my boss. Yes, the iconic Min Yoongi. He is as dreamy as they say, but I have actually met him before.” Yoongi sunk a little further in shame, “Did he remember me?” You read from the chat, “No, of course not. I’m a voice, but no one will know me if I don’t use it.” You sighed out and he felt his heart clench. He was such a fucking idiot. “Which I don’t much beyond this mic. Am I scared to say this now that he’s my boss?” He held his breath a bit, “No, I doubt he’s listening. He said he was my fan, but he could just have said that to be a nice guy.” You laughed, a hint of sadness evident, “What a fucking disaster I must seem like if he were to, huh?” The sadness in your voice more prominent, “If he is, hi Mr. Min, please erase this from your memory, as well as my sophomore haircut.”

The live went on as normal and Yoongi drifted to sleep to the melodious sound of your voice for the remainder of the flight. However, even in his dreams, you were just out of reach, and he couldn’t begin to put into words how much it killed him.

—-

You don’t know how you got here. You looked around at the shabby setup. This "photography studio” looked a lot, and you mean a lot, like it was a half-assed school set not long ago. You scoffed, throwing your hands up incredulously when you caught sight of a black couch. You really hated your manager.

The jackass was assigned to you and you were too scared to say how uncomfortable he made you. He treated you like a child, but the way he looked at you was too adult for your taste. He was constantly texting you and asking for photos of your face, which you were constantly rejecting. To top it all off, he wants you to call him Big Brother, not Oppa, Big Brother. You opted for Big Bro instead, since he won’t give you his name. No, to top it all off, he booked your photo shoot with a “friend” of his to “save the company money”. He asked you to show up in a dress no longer than your knees and you felt dumber and dumber as time went on for doing so.

You stood in the middle of this studio-warehouse apartment waiting for this great photographer to show up. As you stood here, your initial thought was “how fucking ridiculous is that” but the longer you were there and the more you studied the ropes that were no longer as well hid, something in your stomach began to turn.

You were in actual fucking danger. This situation could not be a funny story if you didn’t live to tell it. Your eyes darted from different red flags in the room. A spot of dried blood scratches on the cheap wallpaper, bare plaster marks against the beige wall, a poorly-concealed camera you hadn’t noticed until now. Your chest squeezed when your phone vibrated.

You could get out of here! All you had to do was send an SOS.

Hoseok: Good luck in the photoshoot from my other half and I!

You smiled lovingly at the snapchat from the male, the more permanent girl in his life with a smile on her face and an encouraging thumbs-up. They were evidently on a date, finally, so there was no way you could call them to come get you. You would hate to bother them.

Mr. Min: Let me know how the shoot goes.

You faltered over the message. He was professional as ever. Would he think less of you if you abandoned a shoot like this?

Yoongi agonized over the three dots that stared him down. He had to remind himself to blink as he watched the minutes tick by that felt like hours. What the hell were you typing?

It had been about a couple of weeks since you’ve been under Yoongi’s company and all had been normal. Your routine was the same, and so was his. Except for this time, you two would exchange polite texts on what the other would do.

Sugar Sun: Great song as always!

You would always send exclamation points or some sparkle emojis, even a sun here and there. Yoongi found himself unable to shield his cheesy grin at the texts you sent him. You were always the first person to praise his new work. He found himself craving your praise more and more, but he forced himself to remain professional.

Mr. Min: Loved your live.

He always used punctuation despite using fragments which somehow added an aura of professionalism that he effortlessly radiated in person. Nevertheless, you would always send back a sparkly thank you which made Yoongi melt. He prided himself on not overstepping boundaries by attempting to control your professional life. His self-restraint proved quite strong as he held himself back from taking you out to lunch or giving you special treatment. This restraint was put to the ultimate test when he found out you were assigned Hyungin as your manager. He was an unfortunate employee with constant reports that would ultimately be rescinded by the female employees.

He was a disgusting piece of shit, Yoongi deduced. Hyungin was the brother of the management agency contracted by his company, per Namjoon’s damn insistence, and he was itching for that contract to end, and soon. Yoongi had to physically hold himself back when he found this information out, trying to respect you by not meddling or keeping tabs on you.

His resolve was a very thin string that was tugged and tugged as the days went on with Hyungin having total control over your schedule and an excuse to contact you 24/7. You were a strong girl and had not made a report. He had to respect that.

Your lip began to twitch, a movement you quickly halted as you shook the fear off. Maybe you were overreacting. Maybe you were being stuck up. You weren’t like Yoongi, maybe you had to photoshoot in shabby places.

You: I’m kind of scared…

You shook your head, erasing the message and locking your phone. You huffed, it was 30 minutes past the scheduled time. Surely you had the right to leave? You heard the back door open and could feel the bile lurch in your throat.

Something was very wrong. You were not overreacting. There were several heavy footsteps and as they thudded through the warehouse, nearing your reaching form, you could not deny the quaking fear that traveled through your veins like electricity.

One? Two? No, four sets of steps. The uneven rhythm proved as much, too many for a measly photoshoot. Too many for you to take on all at once. The correct amount to hold you down. The correct amount to-

“Little sis, are you here?” A sickening voice called out and you realized the steps stopped with only his continuing.

He was trying to surprise you.

“Come on, dear, let’s get to know each other.” You could hear the predatory smirk on his face and you choked on a horrified breath as the fear pricked your skin and pierced your lungs.

You were choking on your own horror.

“Come out, come out,” He called and you were frozen, absolutely fucking frozen.

Run.

You stood up, breaking into a sprint that was a hair too slow. You felt a calloused, obscenely rough handgrip your forearm with a vigorous force and you screamed. He was squeezing, and at this rate, your bones would surely snap, “Not so fast, little girl.” He stood next to you, breath pungent with halitosis. From peripheral vision, you could see his five o'clock shadow and you realized the size difference and the lack of camera. You couldn’t stop screaming, mimicking every cell in your body that seemed to yell,

RUN.

Just like lightning, you struck him with your head, harder than you knew you could stand. His nose gave you an all too satisfying crack and his grip loosened enough for you sprint again, this time more than quick enough to keep going. You heard the clamoring of footsteps and eventually, all you could hear was the sound of the wind as you turned corners you had no familiarity with, running until your legs could no longer carry you.

Your legs finally shook you down to your knees in a part of town you barely recognized. You had passed through here once before as a freshman in college sight-seeing. It was a tourist spot and you exhaled on the sidewall as people stepped around you.

You heaved a breath that you swore you had been holding for hours with a small victorious smile. Your eyes scanned the area of regular people and your hands shaking brought attention to the purse you thankfully still had.

Without thought, you ripped it open, using your phone to call the first person you could.

“Y/n?” His voice was gruff, as if he was whispering whilst trying to talk normally, “Is everything okay?” He seemed confused, you had never called him before.

“Can you… uh…” You faltered after realizing the strangled sound you made, voice raw from the screams you let out, “…please come get me.” You nearly whispered.

“Send me your location, I’m on my way.” Yoongi didn’t miss a beat before adding, “Stay where you are, don’t go near anyone.” He ended the phone call and you followed his directions, dropping your pin. You sighed in relief as you took refuge on the sidewalk, draping the cardigan in your bag over your shoulder, securing it around yourself.

Yoongi shot up from his office chair, looking at his employees mid-powerpoint. His marketing team turned into ice at his gaze. His eyes were much darker than a moment ago, and his jaw was like stone, “I have an emergency to attend to, we will proceed at a later date.” The room nodded stiffly as their boss walked out, all of them unaware why, having been too scared to even try to listen to his phone call.

Never in Yoongi’s life had he sped so recklessly. You were 10 minutes away and something was wrong. Your voice had never sounded so vulnerable. He had never heard it that quiet before. You were in a plaza of popular building, and if you had a photo shoot today, this would not be near any studio at all. His blood boiled at the thought of anyone taking away your light.

He slammed on the brakes when he caught sight of your shrunken form on the sidewalk, your head jerked up at the sound as your entire body jumped. Why were you so scared? Your face had a small streak of makeup on the side of your face and his skin only flared as you scurried into the car and Yoongi began driving to a more familiar side of town.

“Please don’t take me home.” You pleaded, unable to face him due to the shame.

Yoongi chose not to prod, for the time being, only nodding in response as he drove. He could see you stare out the window at the passing building and he watched your shaking for curl into the car seat. He settled on this resolve of leaving you alone all the way up to the inside of his apartment until your lip quivered as you plopped down on the couch, eyes unwavering from its spot at your feet. Then, you began to cry. No, not cry, sob, sob your hardest and just like that, a single tear snapped the ever-thinning string of restraint he had left.

You were pulled into Yoongi’s chest as sobs racked through your body, you clutched his shirt as you soaked it with tears of fear, relief, joy, and you couldn’t stop. Hell, you could barely breathe. Even so, Yoongi held you as his expensive dress shirt crumbled under your grip and stained with your mascara and eyeliner proving not to be as water-resistant as you hoped. His grip was unwavering and when a hand went to stroke your hair, you could feel oxygen reach your lungs again.

“It’s okay.” He breathed, “You’re safe now.” He fought the urge to clench his jaw again as you gripped his shirt harder.

Your breathing began to even as he whispered soft words into your ear until your eyes couldn’t cry anymore. The both of you stood there for what felt like an eternity, clinging onto one another as he felt the softness of your cardigan against his hands. You eventually broke the silence with a meek, “I’m so sorry."

"Why is that?” He spoke softly, his last intent was to scare you.

“I ran away from the shoot, and I know it’s not professional but…” You shivered, “ He didn’t have a camera.” Yoongi could kill somebody, “He had three other guys with him.” Someone, no, all of them are going to have to pay, he concluded. Nobody involved would leave the ordeal with their lives intact. They would lose everything for trying to take his sunshine away, for making your light falter, for even a moment.

He ripped himself from you, to sternly meet your eyes, “Do not apologize for the swine you encountered.” Your eyes only reflected sorrow, “You’re alive, and that is what matters most, okay?” You nodded.

“You’re not mad at me?” Your voice cracked against your will as you looked up at Yoongi, eyes glassy and begging for reassurance.

He visibly softened, “No, Sunshine, I could never be mad at you.” You nodded in understanding, “But will you let me fix this for you?”

Maybe you should have known from the beginning. You looked at Yoongi, so eager to be your saving grace, eyes intense with intent, and yet his touch was so soft. A man in love was a dangerous man, you once read in a book. Yet, never in your life have you craved such a man before, and if Yoongi’s rage mixed with infatuation could measure close to love, you would take it. He was powerful, he was kind, and he was pleasing to the eye. He was offering you the world in that one question.

“Please.” You cast your pride aside, “They don’t deserve mercy.” An angry tear went down your cheek, “I’m so tired of trying to brave it, doubting myself, denying myself any chance of help.” You could feel the tear trickle with hot fury, “I’m so fucking sick of relying on myself.”

Yoongi was quick to catch the tear with the softest hand you’ve ever felt, “I’m here now.” He spoke with the utmost confidence.

Your relationship with Yoongi from that point for the next couple of months was interesting, to say the least. You had somehow moved in upon his request, him rationalizing it by saying they knew where you lived. Granted, he wasn’t wrong. Hyungin knew where you lived, but within two weeks he and the monsters you encountered were promptly locked in a very dangerous maximum-security prison. You decided not to dwell on how they took such a shitty deal with a well-deserved long sentence.

Some things were above your pay grade, and you made peace with it.

Even so, he didn’t stop there. He could no longer stand on the sidelines anymore. That line blurred beyond recognition the moment he held you in his arms. He was essentially your new manager, stating he owed you at least that much after letting you fall into the hands of such a monster. Thankfully, the releasing of official statements and press conferences were received well. The victim-blaming for the nature of your podcast kept to an obsolete minimum. Your face still had not been released upon your request and you were able to move on, the media no longer covering the story as the sentencing was sealed.

The months passed in a flurry of Yoongi being awfully vague each time you asked about his personal life. He was constantly home outside of work, which you didn’t mind, but you didn’t want him to put his social life on your accord. You also had much less confidence in his infatuation for you then you did a couple months ago. Every time you tried to make a move, which meant a small brush of physical contact, he was not responding. The last time he gave you affection was the hug during your breakdown. The most you got out of him were a couple of head pats.

Like that did anything for you.

For crying out loud, you ran a sex and lifestyle podcast with no sex from the hot man you lived in the same home as.

Hell, the most emotion you see from him is the purest politeness you have ever encountered.

“Hello my listeners, welcome to the obligatory virginity talk.” Your voice was crisp in the mic as Yoongi laid in his bed, headphones in, listening to the newly released podcast. He was still a loyal listener, despite you living in his guest bedroom. He still could not get enough of your voice. If anything, he craved you more and desperately held himself back. He loved having you with him, but never did he think he would have to turn to rubbing one out during your more racy episodes or when he heard you pleasuring yourself in the dead of night.

Not even his thoughts could satiate him with you right there, and yet, out of reach.

“It has come to my attention that many of you think I’m a virgin, not that it’s an insult..” He could hear the smile in your voice, “Alas, I am not, but that doesn’t change my hand being the most impressive thing my pussy has seen, I’ll tell you what.” You giggled at this, “No, I take that back, my magic wand is my BFF.” Yoongi shifted, wondering if you had your toys in your room. He had sent for all of your things after all. God, he could already feel his dick hardening. How pathetic you make him at the very thought of you fucking yourself silly, eyes rolled back, vibrator against your clit. He huffed, shaking away the thoughts, “ Anyhow, let’s talk trends I am late to, rare, I know, but what’s this whole spelling coconut with your hips riding someone business?” You pondered, “I haven’t ridden someone in a good while, and my dildo can’t tell me if it feels good, so I’m at a loss here.” You sighed almost longingly, “God, I miss getting fucked, but also romanced,” You groaned, “It’s been a rough as fuck dry couple of months, which didn’t bother me for a while considering… you know, but the world keeps turning and I stay alone but moving on…” You droned and Yoongi went into overdrive.

Did you seriously want to fuck someone? Like someone else? You were living with him now, why would you feel the need to have relations with anyone else? His fists clenched at the very concept. You couldn’t be talking for show, you were say too genuine. Before he could even stop himself, he marched over to his bedroom door, ripping it open.

Only when he did had did he realize that you were in front of him, hand raised to knock on the door, “Oh, hey.” You gave him a smile as you slowly retreated your raised arm, “I was just gonna see if you wanted to watch a movie with me?” Every so often you both would have a movie night in which you would try to understand his feelings with small touches and ultimately fail. Nevertheless, you enjoyed his company. Today, you were buying into an article’s advice and watching a scary one. Not that you were terrified, but you were a jumpy person.

At this rate, you couldn’t tell if you were horny or just wanted affection.

Both, probably.

Your crush on Yoongi had only worsened throughout this whole experience to top it off. He was hot and kind who could blame you? And yet, he never made a single move as if he had no interest. God, what if he didn’t have any interest?

Your heart sank for a moment, “If not, I think I was gonna try to go out-”

“No!” Your eyes widened at Yoongi’s panicked tone when he cleared his throat, “I mean, I want to watch a movie, so you don’t have to go out.” He muttered and you nodded slowly. He could not have you going out, not after what he heard. You were craving other people. He couldn’t bear the thought.

“O…kay…” You smiled a bit, “Well, I picked a scary one if you think you can hang.” You gave him a sly smile before going to make popcorn.

He smiled as he watched you prance to the kitchen. You were so beautiful and fun and everything he’s ever needed. All that was left was for you to be his, but he didn’t want to scare you away. He had to be a gentleman. He had to wait for the right time. That’s what Jin, Jimin, Jungkook, and Taehyung said. The only issue was that he had no idea what the hell that meant.

“You know, Mr. Min-”

“Yoongi.” He was quick as ever to correct you, “Please.” He sounded more desperate than usual and you nodded.

“Right, well I was just going to say that you have absurd taste in snacks.” You said with a chuckle, “All I ever see in you cupboards are coffee.” You wistfully sigh, “I need to go grocery shopping.”

The sound of you being so domestic-made Yoongi break into an ill-concealed smile as he settled onto the sofa, setting the oddly scary movie you chose up, “I can take you on Saturday.” You nodded when you finally found a bag of chips and sat next to the man of your affection with a cushion between the two of you.

You really couldn’t say what the movie was about, you had only seen it between the gaps in your fingers all while Yoongi watched it with a straight face. When it ended he said a short goodnight as always, except something in you, lurched out.

“Actually, I think I may go out after all.” You swore you followed your mouth’s lead as opposed to the opposite. You just said shit and had to go along with it. Fuck, you didn’t want to go out. You wanted to stay home and be scared that there was a ghost in the closet, but now you had to get ready and shit.

“Why?” Yoongi stopped, hand gripping his door handle much harder than usual.

You were taken aback by the question. It was valid, you supposed. But was it? How do you even answer that question? “Well, it’s been a while since I've… ya know…” You clicked your tongue, suddenly too shy to say,

“Had sex?” It was so blunt, and his eyes pierced through you and yet, you could feel your core tingle.

You were nothing but a sputtering mess, “W-W, I-I, Mr. Min-”

“Yoongi, y/n.” He spoke through gritted teeth as he stalked over to you. Despite the unconscious steps back you were taking, the couch brought you to an abrupt stop.

“R-Right, anyways, I-” You shut your mouth when Yoongi hovered over you with his presence alone.

“Say it,” He glared daggers into your form, “Say my name.” Before you could even open your mouth Yoongi groaned, slamming his hands on the couch on either side of you in frustration, “God, why do you want other people when I’m right fucking here?” Your mouth was agape at this, “I’m so sick of holding myself back.” He cursed, body pressing against yours.

“What do you mean? Other people?” You mustered and Yoongi let out a chuckle void of humor.

“I listened to your podcast about wanting to be with someone and getting romance and…” Yoongi seriously thought you had been referring to anyone but him? Him? Seriously? The hot man in the place you live? You couldn’t stifle your laugh which caused his rant to falter, “How is this a laughing matter I am-”

“So fucking dense.” You giggled, “I’ve wanted you to at least look my way for the past three years, and you seriously think I want to be with other people?!” You sighed, “I live with you for fuck’s sake, and you won’t touch me!” Now, you were letting your frustrations out, “I brush your hand, I touch thighs with you, I-I scare the shit out of myself hoping you’ll at least hold me!” You heaved a breath, “And all you do is stay still!” You let out a frustrated yell, “The most attention I got from you was when I was almost attacked, is that what I need to do to draw sap from a fucking rock?!”

Yoongi flared at this, “Don’t ever think about putting yourself in danger.” He pointed at you, “I couldn’t take it, and I can’t take you not being honest with me, I thought you never noticed-” He was being a hypocrite, but he didn’t care.

“How could you say I don’t notice you when you straight up forgot I existed until this year?!” Yoongi was the one dumbfounded this time, and you took your chance to push past him, “I will go out tonight because I deserve-”

You couldn’t even breathe the next syllable before your back hit Yoongi’s bedroom door, his hands pinning your wrists above your own, the man breathing heavy. The air was thick with frustration as he gave you a stern look, “You deserve the world, I know,” The anger in you began to dissipate at his sincerity in his words, “And I am so in love with you, that I don’t think I’m worthy of giving it to you,” Your breath hitched at this, “But I don’t care anymore, because I would sooner kill someone before they put their hands on you, I’m sure you know I mean business, Sunshine?” You nodded, every cell in your body springing to life as Yoongi drew his lips closer to you, “So?”

You blew out a shaky breath with an equally shaky smile, “L-Love me? I-"

"Say you love me, and I’ll do it.” He was more rushed this time, urgent almost, “I’ll stop holding back, and I will give you all that you deserve and so, so much more.” He was almost pleading.

What the fuck do you know about love? What does it look like? Sound like? Is it the way Yoongi smiles at your dumb jokes in the morning? Is it the way his voice sounds through the walls as he practices newly-written lyrics? He was a good man to you. He was an attractive man. He could give you the world, and all he wanted in return was your love. Could all of this be love? Could it be the way he’s made you feel the past couple of years, especially the last couple of months?

Well, why the hell wouldn’t it be?

“I love you, Yoongi.” You breathed against his lips and he didn’t miss a beat in closing the gap so not even air could come between the two of you.

Electrifying all over again, but so, so different. This wasn’t fear. This was lust lighting a fire within you that Yoongi only stoked further as his silky tongue tangled with yours in a flurry of repressed emotions and endless unspoken confessions. His mouth attached to your neck and you let out a moan, quickly going to cover your mouth.

He ripped your hand away almost instantly, “You’re rarely this shy when you’re in your room, why deny me your sounds now?” He growled against your ear and the pure sex in his voice only made you moan louder. He was the rain you had admired from afar, but now he was pressed against you, and holy shit, were you getting wet.

“Yoongi, I don’t know if I can wait, I want to cum so fucking ba-ah!” You yelped when his hand went to cup your sex under the long shirt you always wore. You were on your tippy-toes, too sensitive to press your full weight onto him.

“Such an innocent-looking girl with such a nasty mouth.” He squeezed you in his hand and watched in glory as your eyes rolled back, “Since you’re a fan, I’ll be nice.” He teased as he got onto his knees, dragging your panties down with him to the floor.

“Oh shit.” You let out a breath that was quickly stolen when his tongue pressed against your entry. He lifted your leg, placing it over his shoulder as his mouth lapped at your clit and you lost yourself in the feeling, moaning mindlessly.

“You taste like deliverance.” He mumbled against your pussy and this only made your eyes roll back at the eroticism in his words. You couldn’t even keep track of what he was doing anymore.

All you could do was feel. His tongue fucked you into oblivion as he held your hips still, determined to make you come with his mouth, and his mouth alone. He let out a lewd suck and you quivered at the sensation and action. He knew how to play you and please you that you did. His tongue entered you again and he let out a delicious moan which vibrated against your folds, “Fuck, you sound and feel so fucking good!” You cried out as his tongue made thick strokes against you that only sped up expertly as he moaned into you, “Can I cum, Yoongi?” You asked, a smart girl, he concluded. He smirked against you, full intention to deny your request until, “Please, my love, I want to cum in your mouth like a good girl.” You begged pathetically and he couldn’t refuse you. You had him wrapped around your finger and hardly knew it. He got to work quickly, tongue entering you again only to flick upwards and you groaned at this. Groans were quickly replaced by increased screaming as he stiffened his tongue and licked all around your sex. You began to scream his name like a mantra as you tighten around the muscle and came the hardest you ever had.

You slumped against the door, chest heaving, “You okay, baby?” The nickname from him elicited a tired smile. You looked down at the man, lips glossy as he licked them. He sat back on his calves and you wasted no time in diving at him on the floor.

Before he could react, you gripped him through his sweatpants and smiled when you realized he was rock hard, “Can I please ride you?” You looked up at him through your eyelashes and he knew he couldn’t possibly say no.

“Your wish is my command, sunshine.” He growled when you straddle him as he sat, legs spread and back against the back of the couch now. You gave a less than innocent smile as you reached for his member, delicate hands wrapping around him, only to pull it free and closer to your entrance, “Condom?” He questioned.

“Pill, I need to feel you, fuck.” You panted, against logical judgment, but it was lost when you pressed the head against your own entrance, “Shit.” You ground against Yoongi as his head lolled back.

He could hardly handle it as your hips twirled, the tip just outside your entrance. Finally, he had enough, and with strong hands pulled your hips to fill you to the hilt. Your mouth popped open in shock and pure masochistic delight as the pain only added to the high of lust Yoongi gave you, “Sorry, baby girl, I knew you would feel so fucking good.” He emphasized this with a thrust up, “Plus, I could hardly resist being deep inside you immediately.” He growled in sadistic pride as your face twisted in pain and pleasure.

“Hurts so good.” Your hips moved spastically, chasing another high with Yoongi deep inside you. Not once did you lift your hips. You wanted to stay full, and Yoongi was more than happy to oblige, “So good, I wanna stay like this.” You moaned out as he sucked on your neck, hands going under your shirt to grip your breasts with a fevor you craved.

“You feel like heaven.” He grunted against your neck as he littered it with hickey after hickey. You were his and the way you squeezed around him and clawed at his shoulder only spurred him further.

Yoongi could feel himself twitching inside you and this only made you gasp as you gleefully squeezed around him, “Yes, yes,” You sounded like a prayer to him, “Cum inside me, I need it.” You were nearly screaming as he began to thrust into you at a rapid pace.

“Yeah? You want me to paint those pretty walls white, hm?” He teased you despite the strain in his voice, “Fuck it right into that pretty pussy of yours, no mine.” He grabbed your hips, working your body for his own high, “This is my pussy, isn’t it?"

"Yes, it’s all yours, Yoongi!” You yelled and with that, he groaned as he came, ropes of cum that you could feel as his hips made good of his promise to fuck it into you. You milked him as you squeezed tighter before coming undone as you came with a scream that sounded like the next symphonic masterpiece to the fucked out man inside you.

You huffed a small chuckle against his neck as your curled your form around his, “So needy.” He teased as he went to remove himself inside of you only to be met with a squeeze from you that made him curse, “You’re gonna kill me, I swear.”

You giggled, “I like how you feel inside of me.” You shrugged before shivering at the empty feeling only to gasp when three fingers were shoved into you. You wiggled in glee, “Fuck.” Your breath hot against his neck.

"You just like to be full, huh baby?“ You nodded shyly, "You’re perfect.” He chuckled as he used his other hand to stroke your back.

—-

“Announcement time, my dear listeners” You spoke in the studio, trying not to sound like it was through gritted teeth. You counted your blessings that you were alone, “As you know, your dear old Sugar Sun has promised a face reveal and I-Min Yoongi!” Well, mostly alone. You heaved a breath as you came against his mouth for the third time.

The man between your legs looked up at you, eyes way too innocent, “What? I’m waiting for my part.” He spoke nonchalantly despite the wetness on his lips.

“I’ll never get there if you keep making me cum and start over.” You glared and the man shrugged, “I got far enough, right, babe?” You pouted and watched his resolve crack, “Honeypie?” You pleaded and he faltered, “Love of my life?” He grumbled as he sat up next to you in front of the mic.

“Fine, go ahead.” He licked his lips.

“…and I decided to go a step further.” You smiled as the man next to you held your hand, “I will be doing a photoshoot to reveal my face and my collab partner to an upcoming song and my boyfriend…”

You looked to him, eyes twinkling, “That would be my cue.” He placed a quiet kiss on your head, “My name is Min Yoongi or Agust D as some of you may know, and I look forward to my career and life with this little piece of sunshine.” You giggled at this.

“So cheesy.” You gave him a bright smile nonetheless, “Crazy news, I know, but I secured the fucking bag, my dear listeners, he’s never getting rid of me."

You were joking for the most part, but you didn’t know how right you were. You would not be away from him any longer. You were his sunshine, his little songbird, and his world all at the same time. He needed you like he needed to breathe. Now, you were his. You were his sunshine despite the rain he embodied. The rainbow between the two of you was too intoxicating to even bear the idea of giving it up. Even for a fraction of second. You were his. Every moment, minute, second, everything would be together. He was yours now and forever just as you were his. Blissfully and eternally in love.

"I’m too crazy to let go now.” You laughed as he kissed your temple affectionately.

So was he.

Buy me a ko-fi (it would make my day)

Masterlist

#yandere bts #yandere yoongi #bts fanfic #bts smut #yoongi smut #bts oneshot #bts yandere au #yandere bts smut #bts #bts fluff #yoongi fluff #min yoongi

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