Tumgik
#real analysation going on here :)))
insert-neologism · 2 months
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paper doll by flower face
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ezraphobicsoup · 5 months
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maybe i’m just like sick and twisted and evil but actually the best part of so many songs (specifically thinking about songs in musicals here) is when they repeat a word or phrase in agony and feelings and . it does something to me idk
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supercantaloupe · 1 year
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i kinda think that any portrayal of don giovanni and leporello’s relationship is incomplete if it doesn’t acknowledge that there is both genuine friendship/affection between them AS WELL AS abuse and hatred. they contain fucked up multitudes
#especially if you're taking it out of the fundamental/essential context of like.#16-18th century servitude and class dynamics#like esp if you're 'modernizing' it (which i do think is fine if you Do Something with that concept)#there's like. gotta be a reason they do all this shit together#ESPECIALLY if you're moving away from the literal patron/servant roles of the time period in which it was written#if leporello isn't like. legally and financially Required to do everything the don says then i think it's kind of lazy if you don't#acknowledge another facet of the relationship that makes it plausible#that could be gay love. if that's you bag. whatever#but personally i think there's both an element of leporello looking up to the don as an impossibly charismatic figure#and actual genuine friendship. like if they spend that much time together they have to enjoy each other's presence A Little right.#why wouldn't the don just fire him and get a new servant then if not right#(i also think leporello gay but i don't think that plays as much of a role as some fics out there seem to)#and i think the don has some real affection for leporello. that's his little buddy that's his partner in crime that's his roomie#but they are not equals. there is not mutual respect there#and yeah i'm always a fan of making relationships more fucked up and complicated and even codependent/abusive for fun#(see again whatever the hell is going on between curly and jud in dan fish oklahoma. my beloved)#but in the case of don giovanni i think it's not just making shit up for fanfic fun but like. there's textual basis here#and i think productions and fics and analyses and whatever else tend to swing in one direction or the other#but i think both elements are present in their relationship and both are important#sasha speaks
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elytrafemme · 2 years
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thinking about how (cough syrup) tubbo, ranboo, and tommy all have big identity issues but for very different reasons
tubbo’s whole character is storm on the horizon, afraid of the future. he has no idea what his road ahead is like, and part of that is not having a good sense of what he wants from himself or anyone else, and it crumbles down into him not knowing who he actually is as a person aside from these self-prescribed patterns (being a schlatt, etc.) that give him some direction. he knows who he is -- he’s tuberculosis “tubbo” underscore -- but that doesnt neatly translate to who that name actually is 
ranboo is eye of the storm, afraid of the past. in an extremely literal sense, ranboo has no idea who he is -- he has fleeting memories, but they’re very abstract rather than concrete details, and he struggles to balance reclaiming himself with being productive. ranboo struggles with believing that his future isn’t pre-destined in a way he can’t understand, but in a practical sense, he knows what things he needs to do and what he doesn’t. it’s not that ranboo doesn’t know how to go forward -- it’s that he’s not sure who he’s going forward as.
tommy has no storm metaphor, but he’s afraid of the present. tommy knows his past very well and isn’t very keen on it, and he has a pretty hopeful grip on the future, but tommy has no idea what is expected of him to be doing in the moment. things happen around him, and he sees it all, but he doesn’t know how to deal with it. he knows who he is, and the future is bright, but every moment of the present feels like it is asking him to ever so briefly become someone else, someone he doesn’t know. 
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orcelito · 1 year
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New way to kill someone in a dream. Literally ripping their soul out of their body and crushing it in my fingers??? Like ok
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jinjeriffic · 3 months
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DCxDP Prophecy Universe Part 2
Part 1
Damian glared at the envelope. He and Father were in the process of analysing the letter for any signs of toxins, explosives or other traps. Obviously he wasn’t fool enough to open a missive from a questionable source without taking precautions. So far, all their scans had come up empty. Literally. The letter was defying all their attempts at chemical or spectroscopic testing, x-ray and magnetic resonance scans were inconclusive, it defied all properties of ordinary matter. It was frustrating. It was vexing. He was blaming magic.
For all intents and purposes, the letter looked like ordinary paper, with an ordinary wax seal, bearing the initials CW. The looping handwriting addressing it to Damian was precise and neat. Swiping the surface of the letter for chemical traces yielded no results. When Damian had tried to cut off a corner of the paper for analysis it had resisted all attempts, including a laser and a diamond headed cutting tool. Damian’s only satisfaction was that when Father had grunted and taken over the task from Damian, he had no more success than his son. As if Damian didn’t know how to perform the standard array of tests!
It certainly didn’t help that his siblings wouldn’t stop their incessant chattering!
“I’m just saying, ghosts wouldn’t be the weirdest thing we’ve encountered, Red. I’m not sure it would even make my personal Top 5.”
It seemed gossip among heroes travelled faster than the speed of light.
“Really, Nightwing? Ghosts? It’s far more likely to be a meta with something to hide. Or a few screws loose.” Damian could practically hear the eyeroll in Drake’s voice “And since when do ghosts act as glorified mailmen?”
“I don’t know Red, since when do aliens pretend to be Kansas farmboys? C’mon, we deal with magic users all the time!”
“And lets not forget people coming back from the dead” Red Hood interjected over the open comm line.
“Magic is just science we don’t understand yet. Any sufficiently analysed magic becomes indistinguishable from science!”
“B, a little help here?”
“Hn” Father straightened up from his position at the lab table “Oracle, any progress on clearing up the footage from Robin’s mask?”
Grayson threw up his hands with a frustrated huff while Drake smirked.
“The program is almost finished rendering. Whatever scrambler they used did a real number on the video quality. I’m surprised the audio is as clear as it is.” Oracle replied.
“Hn. And the isotope tracer on the money?”
“Sorry B, no hits on the local sensors. Wherever the guy went it’s either outside Gotham or shielded somehow.” she said, mildly frustrated.
“Maybe it’s ghost magiiiiic” Drake sing-songed. Grayson lightly cuffed the back of his head, to which the former Robin responded with a firm shove. Their interaction quickly devolved into a childish tussle.
Damian gave an annoyed huff. “Don’t you two imbeciles have anything better to do?”
“Aww, we’re just here to look out for our baby brother!” Nightwing teased.
“Yeah, we gotta make sure your ghost encounter didn’t leave any lasting psychological damage!” Red Robin added.
Before Damian could retaliate for their needling, Oracle chimed in. “Uh, guys? You’re going to want to see this. Most of the footage was corrupted beyond repair, but I was able to pull some partial stills and, well…” she threw a handful of pictures up on the screen. There was artifacting marring them, but parts of the stranger were visible in each of them. Oracle magnified one that had a pretty good view of his face.
“Holy shit” Drake whispered.
Damian frowned. “What?”
“Dami, he looks like you. Just… older.” Grayson said softly.
“What are you talking about?” Damian snapped.
“Disregard the pale colouring for a second. The nose, the chin… he looks like you if you had a growth spurt,” Drake wrinkled his nose “and went through puberty.”
The commlines erupted into chaos. 
“Wait, wait, wait,” Spoiler exclaimed “are you telling me there’s an older version of Robin running around Gotham?!”
“Copy?” Batgirl inquired.
“Don’t tell me Talia cooked up Demon Brat 2.0!”
“Given that he looks older it’s more likely version 0.1 if anything,” Drake snarked, “though there’s the possibility of artificially accelerated growth rates…”
Damian had had enough. “Tt. You are ignoring the obvious - if this is some kind of supernatural entity it likely copied aspects of my appearance in an attempt to engender feelings of familiarity.” he said haughtily, pushing down the uncomfortable churning in his stomach. There was no way Mother would replace him with a cheap copy. She couldn’t! “Besides, the creature has obvious powers and neither of my bloodlines has any trace of the meta gene.”
“That’s ignoring the ghostly elephant in the room.” Grayson chimed in, “Maybe it’s a dead ancestor?”
Drake gave their older brother an annoyed look “Even a time travelling descendant from the future is more likely than that. And delivering a ‘prophecy’ to boot?”
Oracle pulled up an aged up picture of Damian next to the stranger’s, highlighting several reference points. “On closer inspection, there’s a couple of discrepancies. The cheekbones for one - Robin definitely takes after his mother, while our mystery meta looks more like… well… Robin’s grandmother on the paternal side.” she finished hesitantly. “B?”
They turned to look at Batman, who had remained silent during the whole exchange. If they hadn’t known him so well they would have thought him unaffected, but the tightening around his mouth betrayed his agitation.
“There’s no use in pointless speculation until we have more data to work from,” he growled, “Oracle, look for any reports of a meta matching the target. Since our regular methods have failed to yield results, I will contact the JLD about running tests on the letter.” He turned to Drake, “Red Robin, see what you can find on recent League activities. If this is another scheme by Ra’s or Talia we need to know about it.”
“The last thing we need is more demon spawn running around!” Red Hood groaned over the comms.
Damian was furious. This was absurd! To even indulge the possibility that that creature was in any way related to him was making him feel like he had swallowed battery acid. He was the Demon’s Heir! He was not replaceable! There was only one thing to do.
“Robin? Stop!”
He ignored his Father’s shout. He stomped over to the lab table, snatched up the envelope and broke the seal.
Nothing happened.
He unfolded the paper and saw the same handwriting that had been on the outside.
Brother of blood, brother of soul
Never buried but already mourned
In lightning and ice the scorned child returned
To strike down the Demon’s Head
With all that Death earned
Damian’s hand shook. He reread the lines over and over again, refusing to comprehend. He could feel his Father standing behind him, scrutinising the letter as well.
“Son…”
Suddenly, the paper burst into green flames, going up into smoke that dissipated unnaturally quickly.
Silence reigned for a few moments. Then…
“Well that was needlessly melodramatic” Nightwing remarked.
Part 3
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Hello, can we have Blitzø, Husk, Rosie, Sir Pentious and Valentino(separately) as a couple, it seems that he is cheating on him but in the end it turned out that they misunderstood him, how would they react to his mistake with his S/O?
Misunderstanding
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Blitzø
Blitzø sat in his van, as he had for the past hour, a scowl across his face.
He'd followed you from the Cafe you always went too, then after seeing you on the phone he followed you all the way to some random ass fucking building.
He watched as you knocked, the door opening to reveal some Imp hunk, and you eagerly greeting the guy before walking in, you wrapping an arm around each other.
He was pissed.
But not just regular pissed.
He was Royally Pissed!
But more than that... he was hurt. Really hurt.
The Imp drove home depressed. Anger. Fury. Sadness and regret all sloshing around in him like too much BeelzaBrew. The Imp analysing your entire relationship.
He thought you had a happy relationship. Sure you fought, but it was never anything serious. And you always had the best Make up sex.
He drove around, with no real aim, his body on auto pilot. Just driving. Mindlessly. Completely unsure what to do.
He'd go home, of course after stopping by a drive through liquor stire, the man stumbling into your shared apartment, the man walking in before freezing.
Your calendar...
Marked on the calender was fucking (ANNIVERSARY). And sure enough, checking his phone, it was today.
Blitzø had a full breakdown, drunkenly crying as he curled up on the couch, the poor Imp crying his eyes out between heavy swigs of alcohol.
About an hour would pass until you got home, suspiciously large package in your arms.
You snuck into the apartment, getting everything set up until you found him curled up on the couch, the man grasping a bottle, with even more scattered about, the man sadly blubbering to himself.
Youd approach him, reaching out. "Babe, are you alright?"
He'd slap your hand away, man jerking up on the couch, the man glaring big sad daggers at you.
"Well, if it isn't the big faaaaat cheater!"
He was clearly drunk off his ass, so the accusation of cheating wasn't as painful as if he were sober.
He'd stumble to his feet, jabbing his finger at you. Or rather, in your general direction.
The Man was drunk off his ass.
"Ooooh yeah. Everybody thinks the Blitzø is some sorta, Uh... dumbass man!" He burped, man snifling. "But iiiiim noo a foul..."
You give him a minute, ignoring his verbal typos, before reaching out again, telling him gently.
"Blitzø. I think you need to sleep off your little drinking session before we talk."
But as soon as you placed a hand on his shoulder, he'd smack it away, and with the most righteous fury you'd ever seen in the man, screamed at you.
"I FUCKING SAW YOU WITH HIM!"
The man stumbling back tears in his eyes. "I saw you with that fucking bastard... I saw... I saw you..."
You stood there for a good minute before sighing, you telling him softly. "Wait here."
Youd walk into the kitchen, flipping the light on to reveal the humble spread you'd put out. And grabbing the 'package' carried it over to him.
The large 'package' was covered by a cloth, you placing it down before him, telling him simply.
"Open it."
Blitzø stared at you before looking down at the package, the man glaring daggers at you before reaching out and snatching the cloth off of it.
It revealed a magnificent portrait of Blitzø, the Imp riding a Hell-Stallion.
Blitzø's eyes bulged, the man staring dead at it for a solid minute, the man not even noticing himself dropping the bottle.
Youd set down, pulling him into the seat besides you, you taking his hands in yours.
Holding his hands you'd tell him softly. "The man you saw was an art teacher. I've been seeing him to learn how to paint."
You spoke slowly, making sure he heard you.
"I know we don't normally go big on Anniversary gifts, but I wanted to do something special, so I took some lessons so I could paint that for you."
Blitzø took a minute, looking between you and the painting before he burst into tears, the man pressing his face into your chest as he tearfully apologised.
"IIIII'mmm soooo soooorrrryyy!" He sobbed, drunkenly clinging onto you.
"I- I- I- didn't mean to!" He stuttered, blubbering. Youd just hold him close, gently patting his back as he sobbed into your chest.
You just soothed the poor man, hugging him close as he had his drunken meltdown.
He'd quickly cry himself out, soaking your shirt and apologising all the while, you just telling him it was alright, gently patting his back.
Eventually he'd pass out, man out like the dead, you carrying your drunken idiot of a S/O to bed, making sure to be prepared fortyhe inevitable hangover.
And sure enough, the next morning Blitzø endured a awful hangover, though even as he groaned and threw up he was still profusely apologising, the man feeling even worse when he saw the painting and everything you'd set up for him.
Of course, you didn't care, you were just happy the situation was resolved peacefully, you tending to your poor idiot of an S/O. Letting him curl up with you on the couch as he slept off his hangover, making sure he drank plenty of water, hand running down his spiky, bald dome of a head.
Husk
Husk felt miserable.
And the most surprising part about it, was that he was miserable.
Since you'd arrived at the hotel, he'd been in significantly better spirits. But for the past couple weeks you'd been disappearing for long swaths of time, often staying out till later in the evening.
Husk wasn't an idiot.
And while he did try to drown himself in alcohol, knowing fully well he couldn't die of liver failure.
Though he had lowered his drinking significantly since your arrival into his life, the man actually, and it was hard to say but, you'd made him a better man.
But he wasn't a stupid man.
Back when he actually cared about people, he'd been cheated on plenty, though that may have been mostly his fault as he'd always put too much attention on his drink, rather then those people he cared about. Something he had tried to change with you.
But you still found someone better...
He wasn't surprised. The drunk of a tomcat was a poor excuse of a partner.
He'd be slumped over the bar, as usual, drunkenly grumbling to himself, man downing a bottle of what he hoped wasn't paint thinner as he laid there in his drunken brooding.
The man grumbled, rubbing his eyes as tears stung his eyes, the man wondering what was wrong with him.
Why did he always lose everyone he loved?
Youd walk into the Hotel, approaching the man, in relatively good spirits. Seeing him splayed out, drunkenly grumbling to himself, you grew curious.
Walking over, youd pull up a stool, you sitting there for a long minute before you started getting concerned, so you reached out, placing your hand on his.
Husk jerked up, you jumping back in surprise.
Husk stared at you, you asking him simply.
"You alright babe?"
Husk just stared for a long, pregnant moment. Before looking away, the man sighing as he slumped forwards, man wiping his face.
He'd stand there for a fee moments, not looking at you, only for him to ask bluntly.
"What did I do...?"
You stared at him, not sure I'd you'd heard him correctly, so you asked.
"You alright-" though you didn't get to finish as he blurted out.
"What did I do?!" He snapped, man almost in tears. "What did I do? What did I fuck up?!?!"
You stared at him, genuinely unsure of what was happening.
Youd wrap your hand around his, asking him bluntly.
"What are you on about baby? What did you do?"
Hunker diiiiidnt like that response.
The man yanking his hand out of your grasp, whipping away from you, the man wiping his eyes.
"What did I do?!" He snapped. "Why wasn't I good enough for you?!"
At that things slowly started to connect.
"Baby... do you think I'm cheating on you?"
Husk paused, thinking 9ver your tmstatement before turning and staring at you.
"Your... not cheating on me?" He asked, the cat caught of guard.
You, with a gentle smile, shook your head, telling him. "Nooo baby, I'm not. I'd never cheat on you."
Husk stood there for a moment before bringing up your regular absences, the long stretches you'd spend out of the hotel.
To which you'd sigh.
After a moment, taking your seat, you'd tell him that you weren't cheating. You explained that you'd just met an exe from before you'd died. You weren't sleeping with them, but you had been spending time with them.
Not for sex but just... just to remember when you were alive. When life was good and you were in your prime, back on earth.
You apologised for keeping it a secret. It was selfish but it was kind of your escape from the constant shittyness that littered Hell, something to block out the horrors you witnessed on the daily.
You apologised for hiding it. Holding his hand tight as you sincerely apologised for not telling him.
Youd tearfully tell him you loved him, and that you were so sorry for making him think you didn't.
At this point it'd be a completely intoxicated Husker that would comfort you, the man pulling you into a hug. A hug you'd eagerly accept, you tearfully promising to never make him feel like that again.
Pulling him close before you'd share a kiss.
Said kiss would grow rapidly passionate, you eventually ending up behind the bar, you straddling the cat, the two of you pulling off manoeuvres that would make Angel Blush.
And in the end, all worked up and steamy, you'd curl up with each other behind the bar, the Kitty cat holding you close as you drifted off to sleep.
Needless to say it was awkward when Charlie found you both the next morning.
The situation not helped by Angel whining about missing out on the whole thing.
But with your tomcat close by, the both of you sharing a blush as you all pretended what had most definitely happened, did not happen, well, at least you had each other.
Rosie
Rosie wasn't one to beat around the bush.
She'd wait for you at the entrance to your home, the Amazonian sized demoness, sat back in one of her beautiful sitting chairs, the sort you'd find in a Victorian manor, just waiting for you, teacup in hand.
And upon walking into your shared home, shed confront you.
"Well Hello darling, you've been out a while."
She spoke coldly, you immediately knowing you were in the shit.
With a timid smile you'd begin. "Hello dear, your up late!" You spoke, trying to hide your rapidly growing anxiety.
Rosie didn't lighten up, the lady in red telling you bluntly. "You smell like cigarettes." He leaned back, a scowl crossing her face. "And you reek of alcohol."
He'd place her cup down, frowning deeply, black pools glaring at you.
"Where have you been (Y/N)?"
Your face would contort into an awkward smile, you scratching your kneck as you released an awkward laugh.
She didn't laugh.
Instead Asking bluntly.
"Why are you laughing!?" She snapped. "You think this is some kind of joke?!"
"Running around, reeking of alcohol and cigarettes, returning at all hours of the night." She snapped before looking away, growling out. "Do I mean so little too you?"
At that you snapped to attention, gawking for a second before blurting.
"You think I'm cheating?!"
You blurted, rushing over to her.
"Baby! Sweetie! Love of my eternally damned afterlife." You reached out, cupping her cheek. "I am not cheating on you."
Rosie staring down at you, asking gently.
"Then what are you doing? Why are you out at night? Why do you reek like cigarettes and alcohol. Why have you been so secretive before disappearing all night?"
At that you sighed, nodding your head.
"Rose, my love, I have a confession." You began, running a thumb over her cheek. "Put simply, I can't drink any more tea."
You sighed, feeling like a weight had been lifted.
"What?" Rosie asked, clearly bewildered.
"Rosie my love, I love you. I love our home. And the aesthetic. And all the pottery and plating and all that stuff. But well, I've been going to a sports bar."
Rosie paused, clearly confused.
"Baby, I miss TVs. I miss modern, mass produced comfy couches. I miss the depleted unsustainable economy of a life you probably never saw."
"I miss cheap beer and overly salty peanuts and wings smothered in addictive sauce." You sighed, almost shuddering.
Rosie sat there for a moment, clearly confused before asking bluntly.
"If thats all it is, then why all the secrey darling?"
You gave another awkward smile, scratching your head. "Well, I know you don't like the 'false decadence of a unurned age of self indulgent walfwits', and I don't want you to, I don't know. I didn't want you to feel like I was choosing the cheap, crapy food and drink over you."
You finished solemnly, looking to the floor.
Rosie, seeing this sighed, reaching out before pulling you in close. "I'm sorry for thinking you were cheating darling."
You chuckled, telling her in turn. "And I'm sorry for not telling you darling. I promise, I'll be more honest from now on."
Rosie chuckled, and you leaned in for a kiss.
Before your lips met however, she pressed a finger to your lips, telling you bluntly.
"I'm not kissing you while your breath stinks of beer and cigarettes."
To which you broke into laughter, stumbling to your knees, head in her lap, giggling away.
"I love you Rose baby~" You purred, looking up at her.
Rosie just smiled back, running her hand through your hair.
"I love you too darling... even if you are an idiot."
The both of you breaking into laughter, you simply laying there, a pleasant mood filling the air.
Sir Pentious
Pentious was a mess.
Bottles of wine were strewn about his airships sitting room, the snake man sobbing as he drunkenly gulped wine from a bottle.
He'd wipe his face, forearm already soaked through with tears.
"Why doth you need to be a loutous betrayer!" He yelled.
It was perhaps his most unique quirk. The man liking to incorrectly imitate old Shakespearian speech when drunk, often saying thing that sounded almost right, but most certainly weren't.
Hed lay there, wallowing in self pity for who knows how long until you'd finally find him. Having searched the house you'd find the empty wine rack, already knowing something was wrong.
And while you'd already checked every place in the manor before, the trail of wine bottles had given his 'sactuary' away.
Youd knock on the steel door before gently sliding it open.
"Hello dear..." You began, staring at the wiggling mass of snake that splaid out before you. "Is everything alright?" You asked softly.
The snake snapped towards you, grabbing you, before throwing you onto the fainting couch he had splaid out.
Youd blush as he drunkenly scowled.
"Ooooooh~ like you don't know!" He drunkenly slurred. "Like you don't know why I'm drinking, you and that *hic* man... that bastard you've been seeing."
To which you'd stare at him, blushing as he leered over you.
Rubbing your face, you'd sigh, leaning forwards and gently cupping his face.
"Penty... he's a tailor." You sighed softly. "I'd never cheat on you."
You finished, but the snake simply stared at you for several moments, processing.
"Tailor... but what about all the... well I saw you undress?" He stated, conflicted.
Youd sigh, gently slipping out from under him ast you stepped out of the room.
Pentious would gulp down the rest of his bottle before you stepped in.
Youd be wearing a rather skimpy, of seductive, version of his outfit. The piece just covering enough to be seen in public, though obviously meant for the bedroom.
"I uh, I thought it'd be fun for... ya know... the bedroom~"
Pentious, red faced, smirked. His body recoiled, priming for a strike, and with the finesse of a heavily intoxicated snake, he snatching you up once more, throwing you onto his bundles up tail, his long lower form gripping you, holding you down.
"Well... I guess I've got to punish you~" He purred, leaning in.
"P-punish me?" You stuttered, face flushed as the man pinned your arms above your head.
Pentious smirking, face flushed lightly as he leaned in, hot breath on your neck as he purred.
"Of coursssssse~" she hissed, tongue flicking your neck. "You run around, scaring me to death~ Making me think the worst. "
His hands ran down your chest, tail sizing as it held you down, leaning in close before smirking, hot, wine tainted breath on your neck as he suddenly bit you.
Youd moan, the man injecting just enough venom to get you high. A speciality of Pentious', the man having used his vemon on your more then once~
But now, he was smirking, domineering you with little effort, tail bound, venom high, he'd trail kisses down your body, kissing you all over.
Youd be at his mercy, the man teasing, torturing you with the promise of pleasure, making you submit to him.
By the end of the night, you'd be a quivering, gasping and moaning mess, Pentious smirking victoriously as you lay besides him, face red, bite marks littering your body as you softly moaned and writhed in pleasure.
With a sadistic smirk covering his face, your legs wrapped around his snake hips, he'd lean in, whispering as he always did when in control.
"Don't worry darling... I'm not halfway close to being done with you~" He purred.
Valentino
Valentino was not happy.
You were deceiving him. Lying to him.
And that could not stand. He was out of the loop. And he hated being out of the loop.
Well that wasn't entirely true.
Truth was, you were telling him you were doing one thing, while you actually did something else.
Though he want sure why you bothered with the deception. He had more informants and eyes then anyone in Pentagram.
Well, except maybe Vox, man had eyes in almost every damn device in Pride, so he probably had him beat in that department.
But well, he knew you'd done something involving your anniversary. More then likely relating to a gift for him.
Though he'd intentionally not found out what it was, the man still liking some surprises in his life.
He'd watch you "sneak" into his penthouse, you smiling and giggling like an idiot. The man smiling as he watched you 'sneak' into his penthouse, covering something in your coat
"Welcome home darling." He spoke smoothly, smiling as you froze in place.
Youd turn suddenly, hiding thr gift behind your back.
"H-hey! Val! Baby! Didn't, uh, I didnt know you were home." You spoke awkwardly, scratching your cheek awkwardly.
You smiled a broad, awkward smile.
Val held back a smile, flushed with adoration, but couldn't express it, not wanting to let you on.
"I know." He spoke coldly, snuffing his cigarette before standing, you shrinking under his imposing form.
Reaching into his coat, you leaned back, eyes closed, expecting the worse.
"Happy anniversary sweetheart."
Opening your eyes, you'd find his hand extended, a white box with a big red bow atop it.
Staring at it for a moment, you'd look up at him with a cocked brow. The man simply smiling back, giving a little smile of his own.
Suddenly it snapped into place.
"OH!" You gasped, almost jumping in place.
Holding the present you'd turn rigid, before slumping, looking down you spoke glumly.
"Oh... Well... I'm guessing you know what this is then?"
Val just chuckled, reaching out and cupping your chin. "A gift. Anything else? I'm in the dark." He finished smoothly.
Youd release a relieved sigh, hand to your chest. Looking up at him you'd smile, leaning in and kissing his cheek before looking down at your present.
"Here, hold this." You told him, holding the present out to him.
Taking it from you, he watched as you turned around, lifting the rectangular present up, before carrying it into the other room.
When he tried to follow, you'd call back. "Nu-uh! No peeking! I'll tell you when you can come in."
To which he just chuckled, rolling his eyes as he leant against the door frame.
And so, standing there for a minute or two he'd wait for you, hearing you as you scrambled around, something glass shattering, your little mumbles and curses making him chuckle.
And so, after some waiting you'd call out.
"Come in."
After which hed step in, looking around the room until he spotted something on the wall. It was obviously your gift, covered in some sheet.
And so, turning to you, he'd give you your gift again, which you subsequently placed down, eagerly leading him to your gift.
Normally, he would have taken great insult at that, but given he was as interested in seeing your gift, as you were excited for him to see it, he decided to let it slide.
And so, with an eager nod from you, he'd tear the sheet off, the man stupefied.
It was him. Or well, a painting of him, and a handsome one at that. It was him sat back, his ever present luxurious coat complementing his stern face as he smoked a cigarette.
He stared at it for several moments before he turned to you, you utterly shaking in excitement.
"Do you like it?!" You asked, almost bursting at the seems.
"No." He spoke bluntly. He let it hang in the air for just a moment. Before reaching an arm out, he'd twirl you into his grasp, the man planting a deep passionate kiss. "I love it~"
Hearing it your smile came back in full force.
"Well that's good, cause I painted it." You spoke with a goofy giggle, puffing out your chest all proudly.
Now that took him off guard.
The man showing a rare flash of surprise, as he snapped between you and the portrait, That flash of surprise enough to make you giggle up a storm.
"Yyyyyep!" You grinned. "All those 'outings' were lessons. Been seeing this professional artist for lessons and now-"
You turned proudly, smiling at the present.
"I think I did the source material justice."
Val stood there for a minute, before the man scratched his cheek, telling you in a playful voice. "Well, for once I think my gift is outclassed."
Hearing that you'd release a gentle snort, rolling your eyes.
Picking up his gift, you'd step forwards, gently cupping his cheek. "Dont worry baby, its from you. I know ill love it."
Val smiled, gently kissing your palm as you pulled back, letting you open the gift.
It was a small red box, the words 'Love you forever~' etched into the top, the smooth rosey wood that expensive kind of glossy.
Opening said gift, you'd find a rather beautiful golden locket, the simple gold heart having the words 'My Love Forever~'. "Oh, babe, it's beautiful." You gushed, hand to your chest.
Val stepped forwards, still surprisingly meek as he took it from your hand, binding it around your neck before pulling up up, holding it in his palm as he showed it off. The man easily opening it open to reveal images inside.
The left was a beautiful image of you and Val in a loving embrace, you recognised it from one of your first dates. It was a good memory.
And in the right, well, let's just say it was a raunchy image of a very undressed Val, the man smiling a very Val like smile.
And so, clicking the locket closed, you smiled, taking his hand in your own.
"Ya know... I've been wanting to do one of you in your 'natural glory' for a while now~" you spoke, making sure your intention couldn't be missed.
"But first." You began, grabbing his fuzzy collar, pulling him towards the bedroom. "But first, I think I need some... physical refrences~"
Val, simply smirked, man shedding his coat as you made it to the bed, where the two of you... tried out some positions for your next piece.
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astrologydayz · 29 days
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ASTROLOGY FUCKING NOTES6❤️🍓🍒
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PLUTO CONJUNCT/TRINE/QUINTILE MOON are the ones who’s always two steps ahead of everyone else. They're cunning, daring, & knowing - as in they see right through ya! They always pull through when it comes 2 seeing/knowing people's true intensions! - People may not always believe em fully at first, but they gon learn. Intuitive af really. They analyse&feel everything. EVERYTHING. ASC AT 3, 15, 27° = GEMINI DEGREE Are the ones always talking with/2 themselves fr, I love it😭😂😩😍. They're usually very open, non judgemental, talkative, & have no problems with sharing what's on their mind. They need something to be interesting 2 them, when talking to another person tho, cuz if not = they'll start to have a full blown conversation with themselves inside their head, bc they're bored😂. I've seen many unhealthy mama's boys with Juno conjunct/square their Moon - undying loyalty 2 their mother.
VENUS SQUARE/OPPOSITE/QUINCUNX SATURN can def show a person finding love/dating icky sometimes🥴🤢. They don't get the hype at all, until they're the ones experiencing something mindblowing. And if/when they stop dating (again?) = back 2 finding love icky again😂😂.
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WEBB ASTEROID - 3041 CONJUNCT/SQUARE PREVERT ASTEROID - 18624 = issues with being a big pervert online - they can't help themselves. SUN SQUARE/QUINCUNX ASC can also show up as a person having no "true" role model in life, when it comes to men. Their dad can be a deadbeat/or they just don't talk a lot. And if/when they do talk = their dad could be trying 2 undermine/bully them a lot. "Father not fathering", "shattered image of what a father is", "daddy issues", being, or feeling fatherless.
URANUS SQUARE/OPPOSITE/QUINCUNX MOON people are the ones that can become emotionally detached all of a sudden - they don't even know why themselves a lot of the times. They can feel on and off emotionally, & think that nobody will ever be able to fully understand them emotionally. They're eccentric - They always get new ideas - disappearing for a while, and then coming back. They sometimes get themselves caught up into something exciting, and can completely forget 2 get back 2 who they planned 2 get back2, or forget to do what they planned 2 do.
MOON SQUARE/OPPOSITE MARS people are def the ones who loves trying people at times, even if it's just for the fun of it. They really give no fucks, it all depends on their mood fr. Queens/kings of passive aggressiveness, & usually issues with controlling their anger2. They always give the exact same energy back that they receive, just twice as hard. They won't bow down ever, no matter what. Pride is usually a big thing here. Can go from 0 to 100 real quick - quick reflexes also shows up a lot here.
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VENUS CONJUNCT/SQUARE/QUINCUNX MENTOR ASTEROID - 3451 IN SYNASTRY = Asteroid person is the one teaching the Venus person, basically what love really is, by treating the Venus person 2 the exact opposite. Mentor person usually gives very hard lessons to Venus, so that the Venus person can find out what they truly NEED, & want when it comes to love. Not a fun aspect, but it's CRUCIAL 2 Venus person's growth here.
Something I've seen for years = if two people have a child together, & the child lives with the mother, & the dad pays the mom child support = Dad's Mony asteroid - 7782 conjunct/trine/quintile the Moon of the mother!
SUN CONJUNCT WILD ASTEROID - 1941 IN SYNASTRY = two people who usually starts their relationships - whatever kind of relationship that is, in a wild/crazy way - a wild situation that brings them together. Wild person is the one "dragging" the other person into it/or the wild person is the reason for this "situation"/relationship 2 be happening. Their relationship could also ofc just be "wild" in general, bc of the Wild person. VENUS CONJUNCT WILD ASTEROID - 1941 IN SYNASTRY = The wild person is the one bringing the "spice" into the relationship. Venus person loves how crazy, & wild the asteroid person can get! & they absolutely ADORE how the Wild person can be themselves with them unapologetically - Wild is in love with how the Venus person never turns their ideas down, but are usually equally into/excited about their requests/ideas! MERCURY CONJUNCT MEMORIA ASTEROID - 1247 IN SYNASTRY = Mercury person's voice/words going over, & over in the asteroid person's head. Can also show up as messages from Mercury person being saved & read over, & over again on the asteroids person's part. Voice messages from the Mercury person could also be heard over, & over again here.
URANUS CONJUNCT CLOSE ASTEROID - 54902 IN SYNASTRY = unexpected/sudden closeness from the "close" person 2 the Uranus person. Asteroid person didn't expect, like at all 2 suddenly relate, & start2 feel close 2 the Uranus person. "Shocked", "unexpected, "outta nowhere".
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IXION ASTEROID - 28978 ASPECTING VENUS = An affinity for badboys/badgirls/criminals. Soft heart for those who are misunderstood - falling in love with "outcasts" of society. Or they can love being an outcast themselves, ofc.
IXION ASTEROID - 28978 CONJUNCT/SQUARE MC = Known/famous for being a troublemaker, "outcast", "someone that messes things up for themselves", a "bad boy/bad girl", known for being a criminal. SUN CONJUNCT KASSANDRA ASTEROID - 114 = a person being phenomenal at being right about their "predictions" in life. As in them knowing they're right in certain outcomes when it comes 2situations/people, but no one believes them - "Story of their life".
VENUS SQUARE/OPPOSITE/QUINCUNX AMOR ASTEROID - 1221 are the ones sacrificing themselves, to make others/their partner/s happy. They give way 2 much of themselves, at first - Until they learn the hard way, that there has to be an equal give, & take in any kind of relationship. &that their needs, &wants are just as important as others/their partner's. Hard lessons, but they're important.
BLACK MOON LILITH CONJUNCT/SQUARE/QUINCUNX JUPITER people lives life by their own rules. They have their own unique "religion", &morals that they go by. They truly follow no one in life, but themselves.
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THANKS4READING BABE!!! I APPRECIATE U, ALWAYS🍒❤️
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hoesformatt · 2 months
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CAR SHOW
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chris smut, ANOTHER DREAM COME TO LIFE (y’all i had real bad writers block after the bad turn out with my marathon)
dom!chris • poc!reader friendly
not proofread
contains: missionary, making out in an elevator, couch sex, public foreplay, oral (fem!recieving), fingering, pet names, missionary, no use of y/n, lots of touching/groping, BOLD CHRIS
word count: 1.4k
the smut starts off at a car show in chicago (obviously) very crowded and the whole nine, js telling y’all
Surrounded by all my girls and my hood, the streets were filled with people admiring and betting on the cars, you could guess this is would be straight out of fast and furious.
Slipping between people packed like sardines, Teanna and I searched to find Wicked. We approached the brown-skinned completely tatted up man with the blunt between his lips “Wicked, how much for that uhm— blue car ova there” I pointed even though there was people surrounding the car so you couldn’t even see it anyways.
“G, which blue car? There’s that mo’ fucking teal one, the navy one…” he went to list all of them then asking for the model of the car.
The navy hellcat began to backfire and I specified it putting in 500 hundred and Teanna went against my bet for the opposite bright-green car. We dapped up Wicked leaving the spot going towards our friend group but recognised an unfamiliar faces. I brushed shoulders with one of the boys and he looked back with him catching a glimpse of his glimmering blue-irises before his lips curled into a slight smile.
I tugged on Teanna’s matching jacket to mine to see if she noticed them “Where he from?” I singled him out.
“I don’t fucking know” I constantly went to glance back to him as he got farther til he was beyond me. Or not. He walked up to me about half an hour later already noticing those eyes from under the street lights “What car did you bet on?” He asked me semi-yelling over the loud voices around us.
“Navy blue— half a band” I answered pausing between my sentence “What’s your name” I quizzed “Christopher, and you?” He gazed out to search for what I was looking for when I wasn’t staring into his eyes.
“Sweet mama” I said jokingly cracking up between the syllables, he chirped his head towards me before scrunching his face and laughing his ass off. Christopher’s laugh was contagious as he held his stomach trying to calm himself down. He licked his lips with that cocky smile still plastered on his face “It’s just a nickname or whateva”
I choose not to tell men my name up in these places because I usually just have flings here and there and I didn’t want guys hitting me up after getting good pussy for the first time in they’re lives.
“Where’d you get 500 bucks to bet on cars?” Now he getting too curious but I couldn’t take my eyes off Chris’ handsome ass face, nose—so rideable, lips—so kissable, cheekbones—insanely sharp and eyes—so lustrous. “Are you from here? I ain’t never seen you out here” I averted the conversation while I analysed his build, he caught me wandering around inappropriate places “Nah, I’m from LA”
I stand correct, climbing closer to Chris’ body to feel the heat emitting from his body “I’ve never fucked no LA boy before”, we laughed together once again just chatting and our conversation escalated quickly as the pre-game alcohol I had began to flow throughout me.
At this point we were only waiting for the race’s to start but Chris was getting impatient as my back was facing him with him forearm cutely wrapped around my neck to pull my ass upon his crotch.
He discreetly parted my thighs that were before meshed together and started to move his hand up my skirt, his middle finger grazing the wet part of my panties. “You’re already soaking for me” Chris’ plump lips were felt on my ear as he whispered into them. Sliding a finger past my slick cunt, I whimpered quietly as if somebody could hear us. Chris teased my clit between his now two fingers until he removed them to slip them into my mouth making me suck my wetness off. “What are you tryna do mama” His sultry voice sung music in my ears.
“My penthouse is right back here” I pointed to the luxury apartment across the street not even five minutes away from where we were. I gripped on his wrist trudging through the large crowd, pushing everybody in our way including Wicked.
“What the fuck is you doing with LA” Referring to Chris I just rolled my eyes continuing to weave around people. Quarter past we finally got to my complex and our arousal peaked as he was stuck kissed at my neck while tightly holding my waist until we saw the elevator open in-front of us.
Chris and I climbed in as I groped his bulge through his black tinted jeans, palming him while the elevator doors closed slowly. He let his groan leave his mouth when the doors shut and we continued to mesh our lips, sloppily touching each other until he looked up at the elevator camera in the left corner then brushing it off gripping my breasts from under my skimpy tube top.
Not wasting time before the door opened, I pushed up knee to create friction against his bulge earning desperate moans from him. Chris’ lips lapped with mine, he grasped my neck drawing me in closer. “I need to taste you mama”
I hummed but the ding sound of the elevator arriving at my floor stopped me, Chris lifted me with ease and I helped him by wrapping my legs around his waist and I directed him to my door.
Dropping me once we got inside my place he locked the door behind him, getting back to me quickly tearing of my jacket to then stripping off my clothing, starting with my tube top—down to my miniskirt making me close to nude. Left with my lacy patterned bra and basic black thong (I knew I was getting dick tonight).
Chris laid me down on my back onto my L shaped couch, he split my legs, propping them up to yank off my thong to apply his face near my heat and licking at my clit. Sucking on it Chris eyes were one mine as his tongue danced along my warm folds taking off my wetness and replacing it with his saliva. “Chrissss”
His name dragged throughout my lips while Chris used his two finger to spread my sticky folds and inserting his index pushing it knuckle deep into my pussy. “You taste so sweet mama” Chris held my hips down because I was rocking them up too desperately for the warmth and plumpness of his lips. He separated from my cunt adding another digit in to stretch me out and prepping for his cock.
Abruptly pulling his fingers from my cunt and dragging me closer up to his crotch, Chris unzipped his jeans teasingly removing them. Fuck.
Chris’ cock was thick and lengthy making me shocked but not surprised. “You’re gonna take this dick like a good girl for me” I nodded in anticipation, watching him jerk his length on my entrance before leaning into me and inserting it leisurely as my eyes began to well with tears “So fucking tight, Shit”. Attempting to blink them off, the feeling of being stretched to my limits started off uncomfortable until Chris bent down to kiss the tears from my cheek while slowly sliding in and out of me.
Wet from my last orgasm he quickly adjusted in me with his hands were carefully held my waist. Beginning to pick up his speed, my body jerks along with Chris’ cock rubbing against my insides, pushing in harder and deeper with every thrust he took. Using his grip over my hips to brush my g-spot, I yelped loudly with the sensation it gave me “Right there Chris! Don’t stop— Yes!”
His groans got louder as my walls clamped around his length that was twitching inside of my pussy. The waves of pleasure shocked through my spine causing my back to arch fiercely along with my orgasm chasing me.
My moans and screams told Chris I was close “Cum with me baby, cum all over my cock” his lewd words drove me over my climax, my body trembling beneath him as he caressed my stomach alongside his length bulging out and the feeling of the warm liquids filling me up before he pulled out and the fluid spilled from my pussy and he pressed it back in.
Chris licked off the remaining moisture from the inner-thighs, piercing me with his icy blue eyes as he did it “I should stay for the night” Chris insisted. “But the show” I reminded him
“I can give you a show mama”
tags: @lunariaxzz @thesturniolos @angelic-sturniolos111 @littlebookworm803 @chrissturniolosbitch @leahsbussy @luv4kozume @alinaa131 @sturniolopowers @mattslolita @sturniofilmd @sturnioloooooo @mattsneezing @muwapsturniolo @idkwhosnyla @strniohoeee @iiheartstef @nonamegirlxsturniolo @ka1nani @1800chokedathoe @fuzzycupcakebeliever @mattgirly @mattslutt @nicksmainbitch @luhsexcbihh @hearts4chriss @riasturns
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valictini · 11 months
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I was watching a video analysing how the Yiga clan were handled in botw and how the person analysing it lamented the fact that Kohga was a joke character who totally destroyed the much more threatening image the yiga clan had all throughout the game. Although I do understand the sentiment (I felt that way for a long time) I’ve come to realise that we might not be viewing it in the right perspective. I ended up writing a comment under that video explaining how I saw things, and realised that maybe it could interest people here too? So here is the fleshed out version of it:
I think part of why they made Kohga extremely goofy compared to a way less goofy clan of literal assassins is to emphasise how even though the clan originally held some understandable beliefs, it has become a cult of personality over the years, and like most cults, the leader is way less charismatic than his followers make him out to be. Indeed, from the outside, it seems absurd how anyone could take Kohga seriously, let alone kill under his command, but from the inside, Kohga is the Beloved Leader That Guides Them Towards Victory, and anyone threatening him deserves to die.
In a way, yiga clan members feel like vulnerable, impressionable people who were enrolled into a cult and given a Big Family and a purpose (and a lethal weapon) by their lovable Master Kohga who wants the best for them… Except if you want to get out, then you’re a filthy traitor who also deserves to die. It’s especially visible when you beat him and they all get personally mad at you for killing him. They didn’t care about Ganon, they didn’t seem to actually understand the bigger picture, they only cared about Kohga.
It also shows how, like the rest of Hyrule, the Yigas are very much disconnected from their own history, seemingly holding on the grudge their ancestors held more as an excuse to continue to enact violence and perpetuate the cult of personality than fighting for a “noble” cause. Only Kohga seems to actually care about Calamity Ganon, and the rest of the yigas seem to be just tools to him. Wether or not he’s actually conscious of what he’s doing is unclear. Is he a fully aware con artist, or is he purely another product of Yiga indoctrination?
So yeah, to me it feels like a parody/critic/mockery of cult dynamics. It shows that this gang of assassins are indeed a real menace, but for seemingly no reason other than “that one lunatic they admire told them to” and “if they go away they get killed”. The reason why the clan was originally created becomes almost anecdotal. Under the current leader, no one is required to actually know what they’re doing, they just need to follow orders.
In the end, I think it is the intention the developers had because cults are a rampant problem in Japan. At the very least, even if it’s not a actually conscious critic, it’s a concept that is much more present in their cultural landscape than ours and that almost certainly influenced how they handled the Yiga clan. Basically, cults are not cool and can even be dangerous both for the public and their members. Cult leaders especially are not cool and often are con artists. Therefore, Kohga couldn’t be badass, he had to be a doofus getting beaten in the most unexceptional way possible.
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alessiasfreckles · 4 months
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Fitting In
alessia russo x reader with social anxiety
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You've been with the team for a few months, but your anxiety is making it hard to find your place. When you spend lunch hiding out in your car one day, Lessi comes to find you.
A/N: this is my first woso fic, i hope you like it! i'm planning on writing a part two with real fluff, maybe taking place a month or two later. also this is basically just a self insert fic but i figured maybe someone else could relate to it, so this is for all my other girlies with social anxiety and adhd out there
---------------
When you joined the team a few months ago, you weren’t sure how you would fit in. And now, 3 months later, you still weren’t sure.
You had a tendency to over analyse social interactions, situations, anything really, and you knew it didn’t help your social anxiety but there was no way to shut off the constant noise in your brain. At least, not until you met her. Alessia Russo. One of Arsenal’s, and England’s, star strikers. The way she moved on the pitch was like magic, and you swore you could see glitter in the air when she laughed. The crush you had on her grew by the minute. You wanted to at least be friends with her so badly, but you just didn’t know how. 
You still didn’t really have any close friends on the team. Yeah, everyone was friendly, but there were clearly established friend groups, and you didn’t know how to find your place in any of them. When you first joined you would be invited out with everyone, or invited to people’s places for movie nights, that sort of thing. But a lot of the time you felt out of place, so worried about what to say and how you were coming across that the whole situation ended up making you more anxious than if you hadn’t gone in the first place. When you did come out of your shell and say something, you’d spend the rest of the evening thinking about what you said, if it made sense, how you said it, what you should have said instead. 
It was exhausting.
Your sleep schedule was awful, most nights you couldn’t get to sleep until 3am. You’d be lying in bed, desperately trying to sleep but your brain not letting you. You’d wake up feeling groggy, but you didn’t want to let anyone see how badly it was affecting you, so you put on a brave face in front of your teammates. Most days, as soon as training was over, you’d go straight home. You were too tired to do anything other than be alone. 
One day, at lunch, you couldn’t face the thought of trying to figure out where to sit, the overstimulation from everyone talking, the noises and smells, so you decided to sit in your car, alone. You figured that no one would miss you anyway, everyone seemed to have figured out that you were a bit of a loner by now, and they mostly left you alone. 
“Something’s up with y/n, right? It’s not just me?” Leah asked Beth at lunch the next day, scanning the lunch room as she tried to find your face.
“Yeah, but I don’t know what,” Beth shrugged, frowning. “I want to help her, but-”
“Have you guys seen y/n?” Alessia interrupted, coming up from behind them. “She’s not here.”
Leah and Beth both shook their heads. “Maybe she’s in the gym, or on the training field?”. It wasn’t unusual for players to spend their breaks hanging out in other areas, and Alessia nodded.
“I think I’ll go see if I can find her,” she said, and Leah nodded. 
“That’s a good idea, Less. Maybe you can figure out what’s wrong.”
Alessia peeked into the gym, but it was empty. She thought maybe you were walking laps, so she checked the training field, but you weren’t there either. Now she was starting to worry. The two of you hadn’t talked much, but she always listened to what you had to say, and got the feeling that there was a lot more to you than you let on. Deciding to check the car park to see if your car was still there, her face brightened as she found it. When she realised you were sitting inside it, her brow furrowed in confusion. 
You look up from your lunch to see Alessia stood a few metres away from the car, looking at you with a small frown on her face. Is she upset with you? Your eyes meet, and you freeze for a second before raising a hand to wave awkwardly. Her frown clears, and she comes over to the passenger door. 
Knocking on the window and opening the door, she leant down. “Can I come in?” she asked, smiling sheepishly. 
“Uh, yeah, sure!” you reply, sitting up a little straighter, mind racing. Why is she here? What does she want from you? 
“So, um, what are you doing out here?” she asks gently, glancing down at the lunch on your lap.
“Oh, um, sometimes it’s just a lot, you know? Everyone talking and all of the noise. And I never really know where to sit,” you trail off, laughing awkwardly, inwardly cringing at yourself for saying that. 
“I get that. Sometimes some of the girls can be so loud! Like, Katie, didn’t you ever learn what an inside voice is?” she laughs gently, and you smile. “And you know you can sit wherever you want, right? None of us are going to bite you.”
“Haha, yeah, I know, I just…” you shrug, face burning.
Alessia turns to look at you, worry lining her face. “Y/n, is something going on? Has anyone made you feel unwelcome here, or anything?”
“No, everyone’s been so nice, I promise, no one’s done anything,” you start rambling, anxiety rising in your chest as hot tears start to well up in your eyes. You bury your face in your hands. “I’m sorry, this is so embarrassing.”
Suddenly you felt a warm hand on your shoulder, pulling you in to a tight hug. You stiffened to the touch but Alessia’s arms held you gently, and slowly you relaxed into it. 
“It’s okay, it’s okay,” she murmurs, and you feel your breath returning to normal.
After a minute she lets you go and you let out a shaky laugh. “I’m sorry,” you sighed, wiping your eyes.
“Y/n, you don’t need to apologise, it’s okay, I promise,” she says, big blue eyes full of sincerity. “Can you tell me what’s going on?”
You shrug, not knowing what to say. “There isn’t really anything going on, that’s the problem. I just, my brain is just, I feel like everyone else got like, a manual telling them how to exist and how to talk to people and how to have friends, and I didn’t get the manual. You didn’t get a manual, right?” you ask, looking at her with a wry smile.
She smiles apologetically. “Nope, no manual.”
“Well, it was worth asking,” you laugh. “Things just seem to be really hard for me when everyone else finds them easy, you know? And I’m just so tired all the time, but I don’t know why, I barely do anything, I’m so lazy.”
She frowns at that. “You’re not lazy, y/n. Do you get enough sleep?”
You laugh at that. “Oh no, definitely not. Most nights I don’t get to sleep until like, 3am, sometimes 4am.”
“What, why?” she asks in shock. 
“I don’t know,” you shrug. “I just can’t sleep a lot of the time. I try to, I lie in bed with my eyes closed, but there’s just too much going on in my head, it feels like my brain is actively working against me.”
“It’s no wonder you’re so tired then!” she admonishes you gently, and the look she gives you makes you fall for her a little more. 
“I’ve always had trouble sleeping,” you explain. “Ever since I was little. And I’ve always found social situations hard, too.”
“I’ve always hated meeting new people,” the blonde admits, tucking her hair behind her ear. 
“Really?”
“Yeah. It’s gotten a little bit easier, I think, especially after the Euros, I had to do so many interviews and media things, it helped kind of desensitise me to it, but I still don’t like it.”
“Huh,” you say quietly. You never would have guessed that she felt that way. “You always seem so confident.”
“All just a part of my effortlessly cool persona,” she grins, winking at you. You laugh, and she gives you a look of fake hurt. “What, you don’t think I’m effortlessly cool?”
Smiling, you tilt your head. “As long as you believe you’re effortlessly cool, that’s all that counts.” you tease. 
Suddenly, Alessia’s phone buzzes. “Oh, we should probably head back in. The others will be glad to see you, they were worried when you weren’t there at lunch.”
“Really?” you ask, surprise clear in your voice, but it quickly turns to worry. “Oh no, am I not meant to leave during lunch? I’m sorry, I just thought-”
“Woah, hey, relax!” she puts a hand on your arm. “Y/n, you’re allowed to do what you want during lunch. The others were just worried about you because you’re a part of the team. Our team. That makes you a part of our family.” 
You smile sheepishly. 
“Now come on, let’s get going. I don’t fancy giving Jonas an excuse to make us run extra laps, do you?”
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mapileonxputellas · 6 months
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Beckham II: 1 New Beginning
Please find instagram aesthetic here.
Post here explains how I've wrote it, I think it's quite simple.
This is the first part of my new series and I hope you enjoy xx (3k words)
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“Do you ever think about how crazy it is that you’re an icon in Barcelona and yet your dad played for Real Madrid?”
“I try not to think about that. I think that bothers him more than me.”
“Does he have any Barcelona shirts?”
“Of course he does.”
…..
“David, how does it feel watching your daughter play for Barcelona?”
“It’s the best feeling in the world. I’m guessing you were expecting some kind of rivalry but I’ll always support my daughter.”
…..
Barcelona, February 2023.
One down, nine to go.
It was like clockwork in your brain. Training would finish, everyone else would rush to get back into the training room and get back to their everyday life. Yet here you were, on your own, just how you like it. You and the ball. Free kick after free kick after free kick. Ten in total, all from different areas, all with different aims but each one just as equally important in your brain.
Barcelona was a dream. You were here with the best players in the world but you hated letting anyone down. Every little mistake was over-analysed, picked at all because of who you were. At the weekend it was a wonder save which stopped one nestling in the top corner but that didn’t matter. It hadn’t gone in and therefore didn’t meet your expectations.
The expectations you put on yourself, multiplied by that moment four years ago.
You loved your father but many people probably didn’t understand that there wasn’t a gene for taking good free kicks.
Unbeknownst to you, all of this was about to change. “You’ve got a visitor.”
“If it’s another journalist, tell them I’m not interested.”
You couldn’t be bothered with whatever reply the press officer would tell you. It was the same every day. Someone wanted to speak to you, you said no. They came back the next day.
You’d think they’d get bored after four years of consistent turn aways but that was never the case. You did the press conferences, the interviews after games but a sit-down full-length interview was not something you felt like you could ever handle.
So you carried on, resetting the ball in the correct spot. Back to just you and the ball.
For February it was a sunny afternoon in Barcelona, the sun was still shining for the mid-afternoon with minimal wind. Perfect conditions to practice and as your teammates had pointed out you hadn’t needed any more persuasion to get that training vest on, your tattoos on full show. Along with football they were your biggest passion, your phone was full of tattoo inspiration and little doodles you did when you were bored, they were a big part of you and maybe the image you wanted to create for yourself.
You took inspiration from everything, football, the environment, your father. Growing up many would say you were already a carbon copy of him but the tattoos were the icing on the cake. Your mother may not have been as happy about them but they promised to accept all your passions and that included turning up every few months with a new collection of tattoos to show off.
…..
“Maria, is she copying you?”
“You’ll have to ask her. No of course not, I would say we take great inspiration from each other. We’ve got a few matching ones, I’ve done a few on her and she’s done the same to me. That’s kind of what started our friendship.”
“You both have ‘looks can be deceiving’ on your necks, is that true for her?”
“Depends on what you think of her. Maybe some find her scary but you have to find out if that’s true yourself.”
…..
You could hear someone approaching you, watching as you took the next kick nestling it into the bottom corner underneath the imaginary wall.
“Y/N, have you got five minutes?” The unmistakable voice of Sarina. Many people would love Serena Weigman to turn up at their training session, not you. Not now.
Shit. You almost didn’t want to turn around. Maybe if you stayed facing the other way she would leave. Leave you be in the bubble you’d created for yourself, nothing good could come out of this conversation.
But of course the Dutch woman wasn’t going to leave that easily, edging closer to you. “I only want to talk.”
“I gave you my answer a year ago.”
“Lots can change in a year. Five minutes. If you still want me to leave after, I’ll leave.”
Maybe it was worth hearing what she had to say. Nothing could change your mind anyway, you’d hear whatever she had to say and then she could leave.
You knew what she was here for and it didn’t surprise you what came out of her mouth next. “I want you back, I name my squad next week and I want you ready to play for us at the World Cup.”
“And I can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“The fans are not that accepting, the players don’t deserve to be drawn into that drama because of me.”
“There’s always drama in football.” Maybe she had a point but off the back of the Euro’s success the lionesses have had nothing but positivity from the media and public. “We’ve lost Beth, we’ve lost Fran and I think the players would welcome your experience in that position. It’s your decision but I know deep down you want to prove people wrong and I want to give you that opportunity.”
“Some would say I don’t deserve that.”
“It will be different this time.”
“How?”
“It’s been four years, everything’s changed. We protect you guys, you have support systems in place, we have support systems. It’s not individuals anymore, it’s a team.”
“I made that decision to protect myself.” Almost four years ago you’d sent that letter, asking not to be selected for international duty again. They had no choice but to accept it and when Serena came into the role she approached you but you told her a tournament on home soil was not something you could mentally cope with. Not yet. “Why would now be different?”
“I’ve watched every game you’ve played in the last 18 months. I know you may not see a difference in yourself but I do, the interview after you lost to Lyon showed your spirit, your drive. I need players like you, it won’t be easy but I don’t want something that happened four years ago to stop you showing the world how talented you are.”
You were conflicted. Of course you’d love nothing more than to prove all those who bashed you before wrong, to make a difference on the world stage after winning every trophy you could with Barcelona. On the other hand it was just opening a can of worms you’d hidden all those years ago. Although you were only in Spain it felt like a different world, you turned your comments off on social media and they never came back on. Interviews were a no-go and your former friends were now distant acquaintances.
“Can I think about?”
“Of course you can. Like I said, the squad goes out on Tuesday so I need an answer by Monday. Any questions, I’m coming to the match on Sunday, maybe I can speak to you after?”
“Thank you.” With a soft squeeze to your shoulder she was off, except now you couldn’t focus knowing you were about to make a decision which would change everything.
…..
“You seem distracted.”
In hindsight it probably wasn’t the best idea to accept the dinner invite from Maria and Ingrid but you knew your best friends wouldn’t take no for an answer. The three of you along with Frido were sat at their dinner table, tucking into the tapas you’d ordered from your favourite restaurant and it wasn’t lost on any of them how your mind was elsewhere. Casually picking through your food was a total opposite to the way you usually devoured this.
“Y/N?”
You’d been debating on the way whether to speak to someone about it.
Maybe your dad? He’d gone through something similar but he was in Miami and would only just be getting up.
Your mum? She was the most rational option but she would never understand that pride of pulling on your national shirt.
Your therapist seemed the best option but the earliest session she had for non-emergencies was tomorrow.
“Y/N!” In your own little world you’d even forgot to answer their questions. “Are you alright?”
It could help speaking to them, couldn’t it? “I had a visitor after training. Sarina Weigman.”
“Shit man, I thought you said no.” Maria Leon was your best friend from the moment you stepped foot in that training room, you bonded over everything from tattoos to food. You’d been her wingman in getting with Ingrid and had a mutual understanding of each other’s situations with your respective national teams even if the circumstances were very different.
“She wants me back but I don’t know, this feels different from last year.” If Bonnie, your 5-year-old beagle, adopted 3 years ago to signify a new chapter in your life, wasn’t by your feet they would definitely be anxiously tapping the floor right now.
“They probably feel your absence more because they’ve lost other players.” Frido added some context. “Not that you wouldn’t have always walked into that team but now you definitely would. You’d be their main player.”
“I can see you’re considering it.” Ingrid pointed out. “When she came last year I could see you were like, definitely no, now you haven’t turned it down immediately.”
“There’s no right or way wrong to feel,” Maria tried to comfort me. “Only you can decide if you want to go back there.”
“I miss it.”
“Of course you do.” Ingrid agreed. “You wouldn’t watch all their games if you didn’t.”
“It’s just the fact that I’m comfortable here, I have been for so long and now I’m going to throw myself back into four years ago.” Four years ago when you’d been forced to move away from your club at the time in Chelsea and accept the fact that one mistake had changed everything. “Plus the media attention, no-one wants that in the lead up to the world cup.”
“They were your friends, I’m sure they’d understand.” Frido tried to make you see that side of things. “Shit happens in football but what happened to you when completely over the top of that.”
“I isolated them.” Of course you had friends in the squad at the time, in fact best friends. But as soon as you made the move to America you slowly distanced yourself from them as they did to you. You hated letting them down and completely understood that being associated to you meant unnecessary exposure where perhaps they would not want it.
“So you’ll make friends again.”
You’d changed as well, grown into a completely different person in that time. Your appearance and attitude on the pitch were a distinct opposite to the crippling shyness you had yet to shake off. “Maybe.”
“You will,” Maria assured you. “Plus I think Bonnie told me she wanted a sleepover with me.”
“Oh did she?”
“I’m not swaying you either way but if that’s what you want, I’ll support you all the way.”
“We all will.” Frido added wrapping her arms around you to bring you into her side. “We love you.”
“Thank you, I love you all too.”
“Speak to your dad, maybe even your mum. I’m sure they’d want to help.”
One of the funniest moments in your life had to be watching your teammates introduce themselves to your parents when they came out to watch your first match in the Blaugrana. Watching their nerves dissipate when they realised how down to earth, especially your mother was, when it came to their children. Of course their name brought so much extra attention to you but you couldn’t have asked for a better upbringing.
Maybe it was their words that made you do it but subconsciously you knew the best thing to do was to ring them. So as you got into bed that night, once you got back, Bonnie at your feet watching, you rang the number you’d had memorised for years.
“Hi baby.” His voice almost brought tears to your eyes. Although you tried to be as independent as possible, wanting to be your own person, you sometimes wished you could just go back to spending every night in his arms.
“Hi dad.”
“What’s wrong?” You hated how easily he could read you, how those two words were enough for him to know something was wrong.
“It’s nothing.”
“You know you can tell me anything.”
“I know dad.” Out with it. “Sarina Weigman came to visit me today, she wants me to go and join them in the next international break.”
“And what do you want?”
“I think I want to.”
“You think?”
“I just know that if I do I’m just going to be brought back to that moment.”
“Then you’ll go back to a moment where the referees made a terrible decision. Football fans are fickle you know that as much as I do but you’ve watched it back enough to know that nine times out of ten nothing happens. The commentator did you no favours, Phil didn’t stand by you as he should have and the media hung you out to dry.”
“I know.”
“But as awful as it was it made you the person you are today and your stronger now then you’ve ever been before. If you want to go back then you’ll make it work. I know you will.”
“Thanks dad, now how is…”
,,,,,
“How many times have you watched that tackle back?”
“Over a thousand times.”
“Do you think you should have been sent off?”
“Of course not.”
……
You loved Barcelona, from the moment you stepped through those doors 3 years ago you’d been welcomed in and never looked back. In 2019 you moved to America but your year out there was plagued with depression and homesickness resulting in a lack of game time, when Barcelona came calling it was a difficult decision with your family ties but they had a project, they had a good set up and you knew the onus wouldn’t just be on you. The first six months were still tough, working out Spanish football to both play with your teammates and counter the opposition but by the end of the season you felt at home for the first time in 2 years.
Your role this year had been heightened by the loss of one of your midfield partners in Alexia, but you were adaptable and that’s probably how you found yourself 4-0 up, having just scored a second goal in the second half.
“It’s almost like you’re trying to impress someone.” Mapi whispered giving you a half hug as you walked back into your own half.
“Shut up.”
“I bet she’s panicking that you might turn it down now.”
“She’s got other players Maria.”
“But none of them are you.”
The match stayed at 4-0, some of the youngsters coming on to see the game out.
You’d never been in a team like this, of course you had little arguments and there were small groups within the team, but everyone worked so hard for each other. And with that came the protectiveness, when you joined you were only 21, now 24 and the older ones took you under their wings. You’d been daunted a lot at the fact of playing fellow English players in the Champions League but they’d been your shield for those moments.
It blew your mind when the younger age groups joined you and they speak about that moment. Most of them staying up late to watch it making you feel old. But that meant they came to you for advice a lot of the time. Maybe this time though it was time to get advice from them.
“Hey little one.” Maria Perez was the first one you spotted in the changing room. “You played really well today.”
“Thank you.”
“How are you feeling about being called up?” It was only yesterday that the Spanish squad had been leaked and she was once again in it.
“Excited, another opportunity to prove myself.”
“I like that you see it that way.”
“Everyone should, it’s no different to playing here, as long as you be yourself you can never be disappointed.”
…….
@jillsmithjournalist: Serena Weigman is present at the Barcelona match. No current England players are playing however star player Y/N Beckham scored twice. Beckham has not played for England since she withdrew from selection in August 2019 amid public backlash and a rumoured feud with England manager Phil Neville. Could a return be on the cards?
@newlionesses_x: Surely she can’t just pick and choose when to come back.
@wslfan: Fine without her last year
@england123: Liability for England
@barcelonafan: All you hating on Beckham are crazy, one of the best players in the world and you don’t want her back because of something that happened 4 years ago, grow up. Could tell she struggled when she joined us but this past year she’s been exceptional, people change, mistakes happen (even though she should never have been sent off in the first place)
…..
You’ve known your decision for a long time but you still delayed giving it as long as possible before you could wait no longer. You could see she was the only one left in the hospitality area as you entered, the table she had chose overlooking the pitch you’d just performed on.
This was what you wanted and now it felt only right to give yourself that opportunity again.
“I’ll do it.”
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luckykiwiii101 · 2 months
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Doubting The Law?
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Hey doubtful Upper East Siders!
You’ve read many MANY success stories I assume. You’ve analysed them top to bottom to find inconsistencies or anything to pick out to claim as false.
Well, have you ever asked yourself, why?
Not why as in “Why do I not believe them?”
But “Why do their struggles sound exactly like mine?”
“Why have they gone everything i’m going through right now, if not worse?”
“Why is it all so specific?”
“Why’s it all so relatable?”
Well the logical way to answer that is, they’ve been in your shoes before. They’ve gone through what you’re going through. But they realised that they were just scared of success. They weren’t used to success.
The illogical way to answer that is “they’re all lying. Those thousands, millions of people are all lying! they’ve photoshopped all their proof! for fun!”
look on @loasuccessarchive
Now what do you think?
We all have something called emotions.
Ask yourself, “How would I react if i truly believed that the law wasn’t real?”
Would you post a fake success story, attempting to live in the end, when you don’t even believe in it?!?!
Or would you post a rant calling it delusional BS.
I think MOST of us, if not all of us would choose the second option.
So why haven’t we seen much of that here? Why are there more success stories than rants imaginable?
So why do you doubt what’s right in-front of you?
Why do you disbelieve in the illogical. When you ARE the illogical one. Trying convince yourself that something isn’t real when the facts are right in-front if you.
It’s ILLOGICAL for 10000+ people on this app to make up fake stories about the law.
Stop choosing selective irrationality. In other words, stop choosing to be “illogical” when it fits you the most. Just because you were raised to not believe in yourself by society. The average person does not know about the law of assumption. Why would you listen to what they say?
If it was mainstream, you would believe in it wouldn’t you? Because everyone else does.
Still don’t believe me?
Remember all those bloggers that have been offline for months or years after manifesting their dream lives? Why? Oh, maybe because they’ve got their dream lives. They don’t need to roam tumblr anymore.
And i promise you, nobody’s out here concocting silly little plans to crush your dreams and make you believe in something that is fake.
The law was not discovered by little teenage girls pulling a sick joke on you to write in their burn books. It goes WAYYY back. Before you, your mother, your father, your grandmother, your grandfather was born. It’s not something new.
Would this community exist around a fake story?
No, we all know that’s not how the world works.
There is SO much proof all over the internet of people’s results. It’s insane how easy success is. Just let yourself.
You’ve manifested ALL your life.
Now you can do it in your favour.
The law is real, whether you believe in it or not.
And you will use it again, and again, you will use it tomorrow, you’ve used it yesterday, you’re using it today.
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etrata · 1 month
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New Phyrexia As A Cult
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Content Warnings: Heavy discussion of cults and cult recruitment, mentions of sexual coercion, abuse, gore in images (New Phyrexian art so if you’re good with that should be all clear)
I’ve seen many people talking about New Phyrexia with the release of Phyrexia: All Will Be One and March of the Machine. And I’ve seen people talk about the misconceptions of New Phyrexia, like assuming it’s a hivemind. Which leads me into the key point I wanted to discuss with this. New Phyrexia isn’t a hivemind, but there’s a reason it’s assumed to be one by most casual fans. I believe it’s most accurately conveyed as a cult, and that analysing and interpreting the specific ways it is like one has a lot of merit for how it is viewed. I’m also aware that most of what I’m saying isn’t new. Am I the first person to say New Phyrexia is a cult? No. But most of the time, I’ve seen people simply use it as a pejorative term to add on to the list of problematic buzzwords to attach when criticising New Phyrexia or the Praetors. And regardless of whether I agree with those people, I do feel it warrants much deeper exploration into why New Phyrexia is a cult.
I know this post likely will stir up a lot of people saying some not positive things about me and it but I felt it needed to be said. To those people who have a knee jerk reaction towards this and are going to immediately want to send me something criticising this, I don’t anticipate you’ll read all of this. But at the end of the document I did include a list of questions I anticipate a few readers will ask, and I would simply like to politely ask that you read that segment before sending anything to me or replying to this post.
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To start talking about cults and the nature of New Phyrexia as one, it’s first necessary to answer a few important background questions. Many people are going to ask if I have personal experience with a cult. To that, yes I have, I was raised in one from birth until around age 17. I would not like to discuss this further, I am simply including this so people know when I speak here I know what I am talking about. Another important thing is the definition of a cult. What differentiates a cult from any other religion? Many people disagree on the exact definition, and every now and again you’ll get someone claiming that all religions are cults. But simplifying it that much loses track of the real harm cults do to a person. I feel a key aspect for what a cult is is Dr. Steve Hassan’s BITE model. BITE stands for Behaviour control, Information control, Thought control, and Emotion control. The key difference between a religion and a cult is one of control. Cults invade every sense of your being, they seek to make it so you don’t have a life outside the cult and what is necessary to maintain it. This is why it’s so difficult for people to leave them. There’s a sense of fear of the unknown. That if you leave there’ll be nothing out there for you. Who knows, maybe they made you do terrible things you can never undo, how will the people who weren’t there forgive you? You can accept the bad parts, because the good parts are there and there’s this giant fear of what will happen if you face the unknown, if you leave. Which brings me to my first major discussion point: Ixhel.
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For the unaware, Ixhel is the protagonist of the Phyrexia: All Will Be One side story A Hollow Body, by Aysha U. Farah. It’s a fantastic read, I would highly recommend anyone who finds this essay at all interesting read it. For a brief summary, Ixhel was created by Atraxa- who was herself formerly a Mirrordin angel before every Praetor save Urabrask compleated her- to be used as a soldier/assassin. She feels devoted to Atraxa, but tries to suppress her other feelings- the feeling of love, of want of affection and approval. Throughout the story, she faces challenges to this suppression: a phyrexian named Belaxis who aids her in her mission, the Thane of Contracts himself, Geth, who challenges her on her devotion even as she kills him, and Atraxa herself in the end. She successfully completes her mission to slay Geth, but his words bother her. About her being a faceless drone, replaceable. So she takes Belaxis and Geth, and uses the Dominus of the Dross Pits to combine them into one being, now named Vishgraz. 
Atraxa is furious at the idea of their creation. But it’s not necessarily their creation itself that she really has an issue with. It’s that the creation was made without being ordered to. Vishgraz represents a threat to her not in their existence but in showing that Ixhel took an action other than what was ordered, even if she did it in hopes of imitating her superior in the cult. Because if she can take one action away from orders, she can take more. And that is a threat to her loyalty, which must be punished to ensure she stays in line, to ensure she stays another faceless drone. And Ixhel does take another action aside from orders, an even more direct disobedience: she spares Vishgraz’s life when ordered to kill them. 
Ixhel represents someone born into a cult. She only ever did what was ordered, because it was all she knew. But cults are not a natural state of mind, they’re a method of control that can be broken free from. And this shows with Ixhel. She obeyed mindlessly, until she was given another option, an idea of what could help her, what could make her fix those feelings she had been taught to ignore and repress. This is a common experience, it’s certainly one I went through. It’s not the only experience with cults though. Because another thing to mention is recruitment, and Phyrexia: All Will Be One provides a great example of this too.
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Another aspect of the storyline for this set was the idea of compleated planeswalkers. This is a new thing for Magic, with the idea introduced in Kamigawa: Neon Dynasty, with Tamiyo. However this was most fully analysed during Phyrexia: All Will Be One’s main story, by Seanan McGuire (who also did a fantastic job with that story, I would highly recommend that one as well). But something I recently came to the realisation of, that I have not seen discussed, is the common factor between every single compleated planeswalker: they’re all the exact types of people who are most vulnerable to recruitment by cults.
If you’re reading this and thinking “most vulnerable” I want you to keep in mind I mean exactly that. Anyone is vulnerable to recruitment by a cult, especially if you think you’re too smart to be recruited. And that’s where our first victim I’ll discuss comes in, Jace Beleren. Jace is a man who prides himself on his intelligence, on his skill with his mind. But in the story, he falls prey to New Phyrexia because he underestimates them, and overestimates his own skills. The love of his life, Vraska, has clearly fallen to compleation. But he thinks he can be smarter; he can use his illusion and mind magic to give her one last day, one last day together with him, where they can pretend like she hasn’t been infected. And that is what makes him be taken in by the cult.
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Jace fell for it because he wanted to be clever and thought he was too smart, but also out of love and devotion to someone else who fell. I believe even if he knew what would happen he would do it again out of devotion. And who knows, the story so far seems to imply he had a plan, that he knew what he was doing. Maybe I’ll be proven wrong and he’ll turn out on top of this situation. But even so, he still lost to New Phyrexia due to this.
Next off is Vraska, another key type to fall for cults. Vraska throughout her entire life has been abused by society, a victim of racism and police brutality. All of those are horrific acts done against her. And cults reach out to those people, they tell them they have the answer, that if they simply follow them they will find the ability to help other downtrodden like themselves, or find a sense of community with others who will not judge them, so long as they follow the rules. Lukka is also very similar to this, but slightly different. Lukka is an outcast, rejected by his entire society, like a very extreme example of ostracisation and bullying. Humans are naturally social creatures, and this can easily be turned against us with a want for acceptance leading us to take abuse we should not tolerate. New Phyrexia also promises him strength, the strength with which he can avoid being hurt again, which he can use to carve a new place in this world and hurt everyone who hurt him, but much much worse. 
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Nahiri also falls under a similar umbrella with Lukka, but slightly less self motivated. Nahiri has a burning desire for revenge, for power against the figure in her life who let her down, Sorin Markov. But also, she believes in her heart of hearts that she is a protector, that everything she’s doing is to protect her homeland and her people, the Kor. And what leads her to being compleated is this sense of protection. She sacrifices her own health and her chance at a cure because she wants to ensure the success of the mission of stopping New Phyrexia. And her self sacrifice to do this may have helped the mission succeed, but it doomed her to fall.
Nissa is very similar to her here actually, as she also fell due to helping someone. She trusted Lukka, and tried to help him to the end, and this led her right into New Phyrexia’s trap. Others who fell this way too include Ajani and Tamiyo. They all trusted someone or sought to protect someone, and that trust was used against them. This shows the type of people who fall for cults because they are selfless. Those who fall because they don’t see a value in their own worth as an individual, but do see it as a collective. This is one of the major flaws of white mana: it’s bad at putting yourself first. It’s so easy to simply fall in line with a cult when you’re used to falling in line and obeying to help the greater good, because with the right words it’s easy to convince anyone that anything is the greater good. It feels safe to take some sacrifice, because after all, we’re taught to admire martyrs. We’re taught to emulate, and share. And those are good instincts don’t get me wrong, one of the most beautiful things about humanity is our capacity for love for our fellow man, the ability for strangers to care for strangers so readily just because they need help. But cults take advantage of that, and New Phyrexia is no different. 
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This is also touched on in the story Cinders, by Cassandra Khaw. This story is unique because it showcases an aspect of New Phyrexia we haven’t touched on here, the Quiet Furnace. While most aspects of New Phyrexia are definitely considered bad, the Quiet Furnace is the one I’ve seen the most arguments for about it being ethical and good. And while it has the most potential for good with this freedom, it also shows more of how cults prey on the most vulnerable. In the story, a Mirran woman, Reyana, is tempted towards compleation by Slobad. Reyana lost everything. She’s fighting a war she never asked to fight, constantly on the run, constantly in fear for her life. And they show her her mother. At peace with the cult, happy, caring. A lot of people join cults simply to follow loved ones. And this is the exact way Reyana joined. A key thing to showcase that this was not genuine freedom, that despite this promise of peace this was a corruption of herself, is the consequences after. Does Slobad and his group allow the Mirrans to freely mingle with the compleat, to simply talk among them knowing they chose differently? No. While he claims this is a free choice, he also artificially holds back interaction between the cultists and their Mirran family, all interaction unless it is for the purpose of recruitment. This shows the real reason for all of this. It’s a show, a show that things can be good, a promise that life will be better if you join and obey, because those you care about made that choice too. If they really believed in this freedom of choice, the Quiet Furnace would not shun contact with Mirrans, simply tolerating their presence without compleating them, it would embrace contact with them, embrace the diversity of perspective those who did not choose the same as the compleat bring to the table. There are good people among the phyrexians, people who believe what they are doing is right and towards peace, towards helping everyone come to a common understanding. Most criticisms of New Phyrexia I’ve seen make the mistake of calling them all monsters, not thinking for a moment that they aren’t monsters, but people, people who made a bad choice for good reasons. But those people don’t realise that they themselves are a victim, a lure in a trap to make others take a choice they never would’ve made otherwise, with the threat of losing contact with their loved ones if they don’t make that leap.
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Another point to consider is what cults offer you, and what New Phyrexia offers you. People join cults because they promise something they lack. Most often that is a sense of community, of welcoming, of becoming, and of love. The price to pay is simply your individuality. When you think about New Phyrexia, that fits perfectly in theme. The oil takes away your worries, it makes you unconcerned with what troubled you prior to your compleation. It doesn’t feel like something wrong, something infecting you, it feels like…. completion. Like something you’ve always been missing has been found. And that’s alluring. That’s genuinely a tempting proposition. Think to yourself, what price would you be willing to pay to not have to think for yourself anymore, to be able to feel safe and just live day to day. That’s the promise of cults. And that’s the promise of New Phyrexia. But it’s not a healthy promise. Following charismatic leaders blindly simply leads to suffering, whether it’s for you or those outside the cult, or others inside of it. This is even shown in the text, in the story for March of the Machine by K. Arsenault Rivera. 
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When Elspeth faces off against Elesh Norn, she has been changed. She gave up her life in a moment of turmoil, sacrificed her being to save the multiverse. And she was ascended because of it, having her sense of self altered and her physical form transmuted, when her only choice otherwise was death. Sound familiar? So when Elspeth threatens Norn's rule of power, what does Norn promise her? Friends among the phyrexians, lovers among them. She points out their similarities, how Elspeth is transformed as well, simply in a way deemed prettier by society, how her form is irrevocably altered, how she has a creed she is following just as much as Norn. And Elspeth does think of this offer, she does look around and think of how happy everyone looks, how content they seem to be to be cogs in a great machine forged with glorious purpose. But Elesh Norn doesn’t even think to talk about the consent of those people in the cult for whether they’d even want to be Elspeth’s friend or lover. Many cult members do end up coerced into relationships they do not want, and this is a showing that Norn is no different from any base cult leader. She knows that people deserve freedom of choice, and freedom of thought. The moment Elspeth realises Norn is wrong, the moment she realises she is nothing like Norn, despite the similarities between her religion and Norn’s cult, is seeing how Norn treats Jin-Gitaxias. Jin raises a simple objection, a logical one, that Norn is spending time discussing and talking while their soldiers, their people, are dying. And Norn tells him to be silent. Chief among all things, cults silence dissent against the leader. One could say that’s the cardinal sin in a cult. And that is what makes Elspeth realise she could never be like Norn. And hopefully, eventually, it is what will help Elspeth keep in touch with her humanity after her transformation. Because no matter what, the key lesson is, even the strongest of us is still vulnerable to temptation, to the urge to lose ourselves in obedience of another. And it's more important now than ever to remember to fight that urge.
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Anticipated Questions (FAQ I Suppose But Ahead Of Time)
But I don’t see New Phyrexia this way, I think it’s (Insert X Narrative): That’s your view. You’re entirely entitled to it. This wouldn’t be very much of a good essay talking about cults and the importance of the freedom of choice if I insisted everyone else follow my point of view and agree entirely with everything I’ve said.
Are you saying I’m wrong for liking New Phyrexia?: Not at all. Again with the point before, this is my interpretation I am posting for literary merit in hopes it may interest others and perhaps aid their understanding of New Phyrexia. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with liking villains. It’s simply an understanding I came to through a lot of thinking about New Phyrexia I felt others may enjoy. The last thing I want is to start some sort of flame war over this. In fact if you use this essay to start such a flame war and try and make others conform to your beliefs, you have missed the point entirely.
Tell me about your personal experience with cults: Respectfully no. I will talk about that to people I am comfortable talking about it with. People who friend me on Discord may ask me, I may answer but I will not mind them asking. Otherwise I prefer not to share.
If you don’t want people to change their views, why did you post this essay?: I was thinking about my personal experience with cults and I thought others may want to see them and it may interest others, and it helped me type out my own personal feelings.
Isn’t it meritorious to discuss how New Phyrexia also has Christofascist elements with the Machine Orthodoxy and the specifics of the religion and how Norn demands they conquer?: For this specific essay, I actually believe no. A key thing a lot of people don’t think about is not all cults are the same belief systems. They don’t all approach with end of the world rhetoric, or some crazy theory, or hatred of others. Sometimes they’re a group preaching love and acceptance and tolerance, and claiming that you will feel much better with the cult. Sometimes they’re groups trying to take in the underserved of society and use their righteous indignation to serve their own ends. It doesn’t matter that New Phyrexia is Christofascist for why it is a cult, for all we care it could be about refusing violence entirely and spreading tolerance and goodwill to non phyrexians and preaching for coexistence. The key common factor is a manipulation of the members and control of their lives.
Despite all this I’m going to send you an ask or DM saying you’re horrible for this post in some moralistic way: Ok.
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inbarfink · 8 months
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So when I wrote down that Big Undertale Meta Post about how Sans probably doesn’t remember RESETs at all and why that’s cool - I got a lot of responses to the tune of ‘that’s probably canon but I’m still gonna enjoy Sans Remember fics because of the angst’. And, well... first I want to emphasize that those are very good and correct responses! Like ‘I acknowledge might or might not be in the text but I am also gonna explore alternative ideas Because I Enjoy Them’ is a Good Damn Position to have! Transformative Fandom is Transformative on purpose! Engage with the text and it’s various analyses but don’t let it chain your creativity or fun!
It’s just that… all of the people saying that they prefer Sans Remembering ‘for the Angst’ make me think that maybe folks are kinda ignoring the incredible angst potential of Sans NOT remembering.
My original post focused on how cool it is that Sans manages to be so on-top-of-things even though he doesn’t remember anything - but let’s not ignore the fact that this situation is also grim as shit.
Through some mysterious super-science or whatever, Sans has managed to discover that his timeline is being RESET and altered constantly (before the Player came along, Flowey had already managed to basically 100% the entire Underground) and he has no memory of what's going on and what exactly is being altered. 
He knows he might’ve gone through the same day over and over and over again thousand times but he’s simply not aware of it. It’s all the helplessness and lack of forward momentum of a classic timeloop and none of the benefits of memorizing occurrences or acquiring extra information. That’s exactly the thing that drove him into his depressive spiral.
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That line always strikes me. It’s like… Sans suspects that without the meddling of capricious immortal time gods, he’d be a much happier and motivated person. But he doesn’t know for sure, because he can’t remember how he was in some distant ‘original timeline’. He is essentially fighting to avenge a version of himself that might not even be real.
Like, yes, it is very impressive and badass how well Sans trained himself to notice every tiny little hint that might indicate that a RESET happened - but it’s impressive because the deck is stacked so heavily against him. And it is very impressive and badass how Sans managed to turn his weaknesses into strengths during his Boss Battle - but it’s impressive because these are usually huge weaknesses. Trying to work to solve a timeloop that you can only infer is going on through context clues is quite a hopeless and desperate mission!
Another bit in the Sans fight that I often think about is his unique reaction if you kill him and then RESET to Fight him again.
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With how skilled he is at reading expressions, Sans probably knows what that ‘weird expression’ means, he knows the Player killed him once before and is here to try again. And yet he still goes along with the same attack plan he has, the one he knows killed him in that previous timeline. Why? Because he doesn’t know where the flaw in his plan was exactly, he can’t even begin to guess. So he has no choice but to go along with the plan he knows did kill him, because that’s the only thing he has. 
You know, the thing about Sans, is that he always plays his cards very close to his chest. It’s very hard to tell what exactly he’s thinking. That’s probably why so many people do believe he remembers RESET. If any non-Flowey character remembered RESETs, only Sans would be remotely able to hide it so well. But for me? It makes me wonder how much of his Troll who Knows Too Much persona is a bit of an act as well. 
You know, Sans’ deduction requires some keen observational skills - does he ever second-guess his conclusions? Living on constant high-alert that something has been reversed or that someone knows something they shouldn’t requires fostering a lot of paranoia, and that can’t be healthy for him. Is he ever overcome with doubt on whatever something was really an indication of a timeline RESET or not? How does he feel when he realizes something horrible happened on a previous timeline (for example, his brother dying) but he doesn’t know about the context to feel sure that he can stop it from happening again? 
I also think about it in terms of his relationship to Papyrus in general. Sans tends to hide so many things from Papyrus, especially in timelines where the Player is particularly kill-happy...
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In part it’s about his perception that Papyrus’ kindness and pacifism is born from naïveté and thus the only way to preserve it is to hide the cruelty and harshness of the world from him (Undyne also does that). But also, with the paranoia and helplessness Sans lives in every day - is it any wonder that he might believe that ignorance is bliss?
I do truly think it’s beautiful how fandom can experiment with cool non-canon ideas! There are probably so many great emotional angsty ideas tied up to Sans remembering RESETs! I just feel it’ll be a shame if people ignore just how dire and depressing Sans’ canon situation also is!
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hisui-dreamer · 1 year
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harveston's warmth
Characters: Jade, Idia, Sebek, Epel, Jamil
Synopsis: Your lover notices you're cold while looking around in the Harveston market, how does he help warm you up?
Tags: spoilers for Harveston Event, warming up, fluff
Word count: 901
Notes: i was craving warming up scenarios the whole time i was reading the event, so here's our Harveston bois being super fluffy!
Masterlist
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Jade's like a child in a candy store running around from stall to stall looking at what interesting plants they have
once he notices you're shivering though, he drops everything and makes you his first priority
he's a bit frustrated at himself given his low body temperature can't warm you up
his touch would be ice cold, so he's careful to not accidentally chill you
he can't physically warm you, but his affection does wonders
gets you warm drinks and the mushroom soup to help maintain your body warmth
takes off some of his outer layers to give you more insulation
analyses your every move to see if you're improving
definitely goes and learns warming spells after the trip to make sure he's well equipped to take care you next time
might also tease you by placing a cold hand on your neck haha
Jade's eyes narrow as he notices your shivering, before quickly springing into action. "My pearl, I can see you're feeling cold," he says with concern. "Come, let's get you warmed up. Just hold on a little longer, and I'll make sure you're cozy in no time," his cold lips press against your forehead, but the heat that rises to your cheeks warms your heart.
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Idia is a bit sensitive to the cold, but with enough cold gear he's fine
i mean his hair is fire, he's not that cold
he's imprinting every single detail of the market to memory and noting what similarities there are between the anime and real life
when he sees you shivering, he gets a bit worried
temperature causes health damage after all
quietly buys you apple ginger tea, the statistically most efficient drink for warming up
and might just stand closer to you and radiate his hair body heat for you
he's too shy to be openly affectionate in public so cut him some slack
the next day, he's giving you a small portable heater he built from scraps he found
you can't freeze to death on him now, okay?
"Hey... uh, it looks like your temperature bar is dropping," Idia mutters with a concerned look. "Let's quickly buff up your warmth stat and get you back in the comfort zone ASAP before you take health damage!"
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he's also freezing
distracting himself from the cold by thinking about malleus
then he notices you're also cold
he has an excuse now
takes you to the bonfire for you to warm up, but it's just the two of you, side by side, gloves off, hands in the air trying to get some warmth from the flames
it's kind of endearing really
inches closer to you to try and offer his own body heat
if you get him to rant about malleus, his face will get warm from how passioned he is trust me
gets you a hot drink but only because he was already getting one, okay human?
might hold hands blushingly hehe
or if he's feeling bold, hugsss
would also suggest going on brisk walks to generate body heat
"No one can warm you up better than me, human!" Sebek exclaims, his chest puffed with pride. "It's my duty as your lover to keep you comfortable." There's that smug glint in his eyes that always makes you smile.
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he's so excited to show off harveston to you!
his favourite person in the world, at his hometown, his favourite place in the world
as the tour guide, he notices you're cold rather quickly
takes you to a good spot to sit by the bonfire
once your comfortable, he'll go and get any warm drinks you want
definitely huddles closer to you, wrapping his arms around you to share his body warmth
takes off his gloves and slides his hand into your glove!!!
many tricks to get warm from him, given he had to grow used to it
uses this as an opportunity for you to try all sorts of harveston cuisine
he's so so happy to be able to take care and provide for you
"Aw shucks, looks like ya need some warmth, sugar cube!" Epel says with a gentle smile. "Lemme fetch ya a hot cuppa cocoa or some warm soup. I'll make sure ya stay warm and toasty, no matter what it takes. You can count on me!"
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Jamil is a bit sensitive to the cold, but he's used to it given the chilly nights of the scalding sands
so he's doing okay in the harveston cold, not entirely warm, but not uncomfortably cold
and the excitement of travelling has him more excited and energised anyways
with how observant he is, he notices how you've become all quite and how you're shivering slightly
he can't give you some of his layers, so he'll drag you into the market to get some warm drinks
also just walking in crowds can heat you up with a bit
gets you apple ginger tea because he knows the medicinal properties ginger has to warm up
very very attentive and blows at your drink to make sure you won't burn your tongue
really, he's not fairing very well himself, but he's putting in a lot of effort to make sure you're comfortable
"You really should speak up when you're not feeling too well, you know?" Jamil sighs, smiling wryly. He extends his hand toward you. "Follow me, I know just the thing to get you warmed up."
Masterlist
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if you liked this post, don't forget to reblog!
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