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changingplumbob · 3 months

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URL Song Tag Game

Thanks to being tagged by @seriallovertrait and @gamyrmaiden I get to bless you all with how eclectic my music taste really is. I'm going to tuck it all below the cut because my username is long.

Quick moment for all my beloved songs that start with s that won't be able to be mentioned 🕯️

Everyone who sees this is obviously tagged but I know not everyone is music mad. For some exact tags... @marcishaun, @sharona-sims, @daedriyth, @simslegacy5083, @aliengirl, @limeysims, @nigmos, @ethicaltreatmentofcowplants (feel free to shorten your username, or not, I'm not your boss), @eljeebee, @calicosimgirl, @mushbop. But EVERYONE is genuinely tagged because I'd put you all in if I could.

So, songs for the letters of my username below! Also including the lyrics I love because who am I if not someone who breaks the rules of tag games? Please don't feel like you have to do this level of detail, it's purely me making more work for myself.

EDIT: Omg and @matchalovertrait tagged me to but I missed it because I took so long doing this 🫠

C Curtains: Ed Sheeran

This one is my, I see the light at the end of my depression tunnel song. It came out just as my mental health was moving into a better place. Obviously I also love Ed Sheeran.

Can you pull the curtains, let me see the sunshine? I think I'm done with my hidin' place, and you found me anyway It's been forever, but I'm feelin' alright Tears dry and will leave no trace, and tomorrow's another day

H Heroes: David Bowie

I love David Bowie! This song is a classic and it always makes me happy.

I, I will be king And you, you will be queen Though nothing will drive them away We can be Heroes, just for one day

A All the King's Horses: Karmina

I am still obsessed with Reign. This song I actually heard and fell in love with before I saw it on the show though. It conveys such rich emotion. Seriously, if you only listen to one song from my post, make it this one. It makes me want to write every time I listen to it.

All the king's horses and all the king's men Couldn't put me back together again

There is a reason I'm still standing I never knew if I'd be landing And I will run fast, outlast Everyone that said no

N Never Enough: Loren Allred

I love musicals, though I'm not as obsessed as some. I really like the Greatest Showman and it has a bunch of great songs. This song always takes my breath away.

All the shine of a thousand spotlights All the stars we steal from the night sky Will never be enough Never be enough Towers of gold are still too little These hands could hold the world but it'll Never be enough Never be enough

G Gold Forever: The Wanted

My boyband phase was The Wanted rather than One Direction. I love Gold Forever, and hearing it gives me all the nostalgic high school feelings. I still can't believe Tom is dead.

Promise me, you'll stay the way you are Keep the fire alive and stay young at heart When the storm feels like it could blow you out Remember, you got me and I got you

'Cause we are butterflies, butterflies, we were meant to fly You and I, you and I, colors in the sky When the innocence is dead and gone These will be the times we look back on

I It Won't Be Long Now: In the Heights Original Motion Picture Cast

I love so many songs from this film, some days I will just listen to the album on loop for hours. This one is a favourite, along with Blackout and Champagne.

The neighborhood salon doesn't pay me what I wanna be making but I don't mind As I sweep the curb I can hear those turbo engines blazing a trail through the sky I look up and think about the years gone by But one day I'm walking to JFK and I'm gonna fly!

N Nothing Left to Lose: Jeremy Jordan and Eden Espinosa

Yes this song is from the Tangled animated TV series. I see no problems. These two are great singers and honestly I could just copy/paste all the song lyrics because it's great.

So I chose To lose my doubts and lose my chains Lose each weakness that remains Now that I have nothing left to lose Nothing left to lose

G Give Me Your Hand: The Ready Set

This is one that gets stuck in my head easily but I actually fell in love with it because the lyric video for it is singing the song in sign language! We love inclusion and accessibility here!

She said 'I love this song I've heard it before and it stole my heart I know every word' She's gonna dance all night night, Till it hurts Singing the best song ever, best song ever!

P Playground: High Dive Heart

I like a bunch of songs by High Dive Heart and was stoked this one could fit on the list! I love it because I'm a senimental sap at heart and the whole song is a nostalgic dream of what made our childhood before we grew up and had to tackle the real world.

That's why they call e'm the good ole days Taking on the world cause we weren't afraid Jumping off rooftops in our skates Cause we didn't know we could break If I knew then, what I know right now I would've stayed on the playground I left my heart in the lost and found I should've stayed on the playground

L Life On Mars: David Bowie

Another Bowie song? YES! When I play his legacy album and get to this one I often have to put it on single song repeat for a while.

Sailors fighting in the dance hall Oh man, look at those cavemen go It's the freakiest show Take a look at the lawman Beating up the wrong guy Oh man, wonder if he'll ever know He's in the best selling show Is there life on Mars?

U Unapologize: Carrie Underwood

I am a romantic so of course I'm going to love this song.

I unapologize I meant every word Won't take back the way I feel about you Can't unsay what you heard

'Cause you heard me right, and I won't try To fight 'em back or hide my feelings for you I unapologize

M Monster Under My Bed: Bebe Rexha

You know that song The Monster sung by Eminem and Rihanna? Well Bebe Rexha wrote it! I love her solo version, not to rain on the rap version obviously, but I love her early music.

In a world so black and white Out of place and out of my mind Woke up and I realized Imperfection is divine

B Babe: Taylor Swift

So I heard the Sugarland version featuring Taylor Swift, loved it, adored the music video! Then Red (Taylor's Version) came out and I learned she actually wrote it? I love it.

I'm here on the kitchen floor You call, but I won't hear it You said no one else We ain't getting through this one, babe I break down every time you call We're a wreck, you're the wrecking ball You said no one else This is the last time I'll never call you, babe

O On Melancholy Hill: Gorillaz

I heard this one first when playing Life is Strange 2 and I love it. The rhythm is soothing to my brain.

Where you can't get what you want But you can get me So let's set out to sea, love 'Cause you are my medicine When you're close to me

B Brave, Honest, Beautiful: Fifth Harmony ft Meghan Trainor

I was never obsessed with Fifth Harmony but during university I did have a rough time and there was a bunch of their singles I'd listen to on loop to lift my spirits. This was one.

You can dance like Beyoncé You can shake like Shakira 'Cause you're brave, yeah You're fearless and you're beautiful, you're beautiful

So whine like Rihanna Go and pose like Madonna 'Cause you're brave, yeah You're honest and you're beautiful, you're beautiful, girl

#dag dag or tag tag #This took me ages #Only because I'm a perfectionist #And I like colours

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primaviva · 9 months

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hey gorgeous, i was wondering how you make your pretty textpost formats? like with the ombré text and lines and stuff, is there a website for it or something?

gorgeous??🤭 twirlin my curls or whateva…

ANYWAYS! if you wanna know how to do color text, borders, get color palettes and edit your photos keep reading 😈

1) text tut

yeah, if you look up text colorizer i use the david website

it explains everything step by step but make sure you’re done you use the html at the bottom to copy and paste the colorized words !! now, how do you put it on tumblr????

you have to do this part on a browser like on safari or google if you’re mobile or just a laptop

go to make to make a post on your browser and go to the setting icon and change your text editor to html and then between the “<br>” you’re gonna past your text. really, you can just paste it anywhere like for hcs if you WANAN do the color name aesthetic layout of it but for heading or title you do this as a guideline.

for color borders, ill do a little tut for you so you can just visually see

2) color border tut

this is the result:

if you can’t crop it to the thin that you want you can always just save an image of someone else’s crop and color it to your liking cus it’s just a crop color square… (AS LONG AS YOU DONT STEAL YO PLEASE)

i cant crop it thin but as y’all can see in the vid i have my own color palettes so i just color and design my borders based on how i want them, the colors, etc

3) picking colors and creating color pallets (bonus ig🙄 cus im nice of whateva….)

if you have a certain photo you wanna use for your theme because you like the colors or put a filter over them and want the exact color pics to create your border and other stuff for for layout i recommend this website

it’s so good at picking the colors and you can drag over certain areas with your finger if it didn’t pick up on the color you wanted (so helpful when you need the color code for text colonizers !!)

and i always been a photo editor so if you wanna edit your photos like me GO DOWNLOAD POLARR YOU CAN MAKE UR OWN FILTERS N USE OTHERS THEY HAVE SM GOOD TEXTURES AND EXTRA STUFF LIKE ITS A HEAVEN

anyways i hope this helped you and at least gave you some ideas 💗💗 real blog mfs DONT gatekeep !

#🪷 — dalia’s help #REAL MFS DONT GATEKEEP.#EVAAA!!!!#writers on tumblr #writer help #blog help #layout help #aesthetic layouts

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justarandomenglishwork · 10 months

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People who changed the internet.

Teacherrrr my 10 year old rusty and dusty phone finnaly worked so uh, yipee? Anyways i guess i should just start.

Tim berners lee.

Creator of the World Wide Web who developed many of the principles we still use today, such as HTML, HTTP, URLs and web browsers. He is certainly the person who most had impact here, Since he literally created the internet.

Ray tomlinson.

It was 1971 when Ray Tomlinson invented and developed electronic mail, as we know it today, by creating ARPANET's networked email system. Today we use the email for various things, Either its for Work, Or for school, the creation of the email surely changed the internet as we know.

Robert tappan morris.

On November 2, 1988, a computer science student at Cornell University named Robert Morris released the first worm virus onto the Internet from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

The worm virus exploits vulnerabilities in your security software to steal sensitive information, install backdoors that can be used to access the system, corrupt files, and do other kinds of harm. Worms consume large volumes of memory, as well as bandwidth. Since you never said if it was about people who changed the internet in a ''good way'' i put him here. Btw worm virus are like Viruses but instead of someone controlling it its an independent virus.

Alllllright to much text soooo, yeah this is the end =/ this took me ages so pls giv gud note :(

#I want good notes.

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fastcarsgovroom · 3 years

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Don’t really know what to make of still it but here goes (the Lando Norris issue) Pt 3

This is about the Lando Norris and Max Fewtrell (and other involved streamers) issue so you don't need to read it if it's not in your best interest to. I don’t know if this thing is supposed to have blown over or anything, but I’m posting because heck this is my blog and I want to post about things I think are in line with my personal philosophy (and maybe in-group).

The entire rant is in five parts:

Part 1 is where I describe very basically the entire situation, essentially what I saw happening through posts on the tumblr, twitter, and reddit Lando Norris tags

Part 2 is me trying to describe why some fans felt what they felt and reacted the way they did

Part 3 is the videos and what was said of them and how I interpreted them

Part 4 the ‘misinformation’ idk

Part 5 is like, a rant.

Part 3: What was actually said?

The clips of Lando and Max F saying things that were, for the lack of better words, questionable. Clip urls taken from one of the OPs who brought the issue to our attention (hope it’s all right I didn’t credit).

TW for talks about sex, sexism, and misogyny

If anything, listen to the clips for yourself and ignore the wall of text. Make up your own mind. I’m only writing what I’ve seen, and as a way to make sense of it.

Under the cut

The relevant videos are (not in chronological order)

1. Star signs

https://va.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_qqblm5bUU51y0rtc3.mp4

How I’d describe it: Max F brings up star signs (like, the zodiac) because his chat was discussing it. Lando reacts by saying that if a girl asks about star signs, ‘you get up and leave’, apparently in reference to his personal experience with a girl in conversation about star signs. Max F comments that the girl has ‘dodged a bullet’ based on how, for the lack of better words, passionate (’salty’) Lando’s reaction was. Lando retorts that Max F ‘wouldn’t have wanted to be with her,’ providing some information (where the girl was sitting), which causes Max F to recognize the girl and react in an amused but equally passionate way. The other streamer quoted “she crazy”, supposedly in relation to the girl.

How people have interpreted it: Others have interpreted is as being a sexual encounter, Lando being dismissive of a female-skewed topic of interest (star signs) and only listening to her in hopes of a sexual encounter (edit: the more ‘obvious’ “listening to women in hopes of a sexual encounter” is clip 4, added below. But I’ve also seen people claiming ‘dipping’ (said by Max F) and ‘coughing’ (said by Lando) here to be references to sex, along with the ‘you wouldn’t have wanted to be with her’ as, of course, having sex, so I’ll leave this interpretation up. Again, I may be getting this wrong), that Lando and friends were making fun of the girl (’she crazy’, ‘you wouldn’t have wanted to be with her’, how Lando said the topic was ‘so boring’ at the mention of star signs, etc.)

How I interpreted it: Personally, I don’t think we have enough context as to what really went down. I can see how you could come to the above interpretations, but I also, personally, find relating it necessarily to a sexual encounter a reach. Yeah, it could be the men hanging out and getting to know a young woman (girls) but just not jiving with her, or thinking that the woman’s interests were weird and boring. Personal conversations, essentially, that probably has no place on a public stream, but it comes across as being said carelessly and immaturely rather than with malice.

2. ‘Stealing’, ‘don’t want to talk about it’, ‘that [descriptor]’

https://va.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_qqbm90Esu01y0rtc3.mp4

How I’d describe it: This clip starts with a streamer (honestly I can only identify Max F and Lando, sorry) saying Max is bitter, to which Lando adds that it’s because Max F ‘did not receive love from a girl’. This seems to upset Max F, who retorts that if he should ‘tell a few stories’ about Lando, implied to be embarrassing ones. There was a lot of ‘yours’ and ‘mine’ (Lando and Max F) thrown around about the women. Max F brings up that Lando ‘tried to steal mine (Max F’s)’. Lando refutes this, and Max F looks more upset and says repeatedly that he does not want to ‘have this conversation’ with Lando. Lando continues on, referring to the girls as ‘the [descriptor]’, i.e. “the old one?”; “the top golf one?” and “I did not try to steal that one.”

The other streamer appears to take issue with this, saying ‘that one?”, and Max F adds “can we stop talking about it like that?” and doubles down and tells Lando to stop the conversation.

How people have interpreted it: This is the more egregious clip; people took offense at how the women were spoken about (’yours’, ‘mine’), the implications that they can be ‘stolen’, and how Lando referred to them as ‘the [descriptor]’. Some also interpreted Max F’s it as referring to a girl. This all leads into the perception that Lando and Max F were objectifying the women and talking about them in terms of conquests (presumably sexual).

How I interpreted it: I think Lando and Max F were quite disrespectful in how they were talking about the women, more so Lando because he continued with the conversation (in a public stream) despite Max F telling him to stop. It does sound like ‘locker room banter’ about relationships, which is still, ultimately, misogynistic, immature, disrespectful, and inappropriate, especially in a public stream.

What I don’t get is how ‘the/that [descriptor]’ was taken as intentional and malicious objectifying, and how the ‘it’ was referring to a woman and not the entire situation.

3. ‘Cowboy’

https://va.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_qqbq6nhmZR1y0rtc3.mp4

How I’d describe it: The clip starts in the middle off in-game banter, with Lando asking Max F if has any other digs at him, to which Max F replies that he does have ‘plenty off digs’ at Lando. Lando brings up ‘cowboy’ as an apparent dig, to which Max F retorts is ‘not a dig’, but was ‘brilliant’ and ‘very good’ for Lando. The Toy Story reference of ‘there’s a snake in my boot!’ is brought up, to which someone says ‘not the only snake, haha’ in a mock-jokey voice.

How people have interpreted it: There’s probably more backstory to this in previous streams, as OP mentioned. Some have taken issue with, again, discussing personal situations involving a third party (OP has mentioned that the nickname ‘cowboy’ is in reference to a woman). Some also claimed that the nickname ‘cowboy’ is a sex position, so took offense to how it sounded like Lando and Max F nicknamed a woman they knew after a sex position, then openly talked about her in a public stream. Some said the nickname was from the woman’s social media handle, which had a cowboy emoji.

How I interpreted it: This one is weird. I have no idea what the context is. I have no idea how people came to the conclusion that ‘cowboy’ was a sex position. Is the ‘snake’ in reference to male genitalia? I don’t know? I have no interpretation of this other than things without context always sound so weird. There’s entire twitter accounts about shows and podcasts lines taken out of context, which just sounds bizarre.

4. ‘Reward’

https://va.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_qqbfwzG9GC1wg3eue_720.mp4

How I’d describe it: I’m not sure if I can describe it without transcribing the whole thing or putting my own interpretation / narrative here. It’s a public stream, sure, but it sounds as coherent as a bit of disjointed conversation you’ve eavesdropped on (To me, anyway. I’m not being obtuse on purpose maybe I’m just dim).

Clip starts with Lando and Max F sounding very amused with something, with Lando telling Max F about an encounter(?)/incident(?)with ‘cowboy’, referencing ‘rounds’ (round 2… round 6). There’s more banter, Max F saying he was ‘worried’ that Lando was talking about someone else, that he will whatever Lando is doing is ‘good for [him]’, and is ‘healthy’.

Lando says it was “bit boring, really”, to which Max F says ‘oh, 100%, yeah waffle. Complete and utter waffle’ and “gotta do you what you gotta do, listen to her sometimes you know what I mean? Sacrifices do bring on great things.”

How people have interpreted it: Essentially, Lando is telling Max F about his hookups with ‘cowboy’ (the rounds being, well, rounds of hookups). Lando is saying that being with ‘cowboy’ is a bit boring, but Max F saying that Lando has to make sacrifices (his time? listening to boring conversation (’waffle’)?) in order to maintain said hookup partner. The takeaway was that Lando and Max F discussed sexual encounters with a woman (’cowboy’) on public stream, called her ‘boring’, and implied that she should only be listened to in context of getting a hookup is disrespectful. Many were disgusted.

Some, perhaps not having watched the clip, attributed the ‘sacrifices for women’s attention / sexual gratification from women’ comment to Lando. Others are angry and disappointed that Lando did not speak up against the comment, which indicates that he too is complicit with the notion that women should only be listened to for sexual gratification.

How I interpreted it: There’s a lot of innuendo here and ‘keywords’ that are attributed to sex and hookups (i.e. ‘rounds’ being hookups / rounds of sex; Max F’s implication that the many rounds (6) are ‘healthy’, a common description for sexual activity as being a healthy part of the human experience.) So, yes, I’ll believe that they’re most likely talking about their sex life. Why did I use so many words to come to that conclusion, and not just say ‘they are talking about their sex life’ out of the bag? Because that was my thought process so idk what to tell you other than what I did. Maybe it’ll come across as being apologetic and intentionally obtuse, who knows.

Without the context, it’s not going to be very obvious.

So if I’m taking it as their conversation about sex, then the “sacrifices do bring on great things,” will very heavily imply that Lando has to have boring conversations with ‘cowboy’ for sex. Let’s be clear, this is a very disrespectful and demeaning take. It’s also unfortunately a very common one that’s thrown around everywhere in media, among immature men (young or old, lets be real). It’s also very normalized, so I get when people say they find it ‘normal’ or ‘typical’. This doesn’t excuse the comments or topic of conversation.

On the other hand, I can also see a POV that Max F may have said things ironically or sarcastically, since it is a sentiment often used (women are nags) and both Lando and Max F are known to be sarcastic, dramatic, and dry at times. This is a reach to the other end of the ‘harmless banter’ spectrum, but without context, maybe it’s possible.

Still don’t know why ‘cowboy’ is necessarily a nickname derived from a sex position.

Part 4

#tw misogyny #tw sexism #tw sex #tw objectification #lando norris #max fewtrell #long post

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thewestfold · 3 years

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chantalvonrosen/nereideondine/valentina montesano / rossana montesano, an art plagiarizer

Valentina/@chantalvonrosen, take down the art you ‘created’ by plagiarizing other people’s original art, commissioned designs, and illustrations.

For anyone curious as to how this artist ‘comes up’ with her designs and illustrations, it’s easy to enough to figure that out: theft. Plagiarism and straight up tracing then claiming they’re her own ideas.

I’ll get right to it.

EXHIBIT A:

1) Original designs:

buntlgas_ on twitter’s princess outfit design (on the right) commissioned by thepartwhere4 (twitter) for the latter’s FF12 OC, Anya aka Adela/Amiria: (LINK)

angeladyart on twitter’s dancer outfit design commissioned by thepartwhere4 (twitter) for the latter’s FF12 OC, Anya aka Adela/Amiria: (LINK)

2) Plagiarized, just straight-up copied designs:

Nereideondine (IG) / nereide_ondine/Valentina Montesano’s (twitter) /chantalvonrosen (tumblr)’s PLAGIARIZED ‘designs’ for her FF12 OC which she claimed to be her own. These are actually reposts because she deleted them when people messaged and commented asking her to take down the plagiarized designs. LINK HERE but i’ll put a photo below in case she tries to delete it:

Blatantly plagiarized. Anyway, onto

EXHIBIT B

1) Original illustration:

buntlgas_ on twitter’s illustration commissioned by thepartwhere4 (twitter) for her FF12 OC, Anya aka Adela/Amiria: (LINK)

2) Plagiarized illustration:

Nereideondine (IG) / nereide_ondine/Valentina Montesano’s (twitter) /chantalvonrosen (tumblr)’s PLAGIARIZED ‘illustration’ for her FF12 OC:

Notice how this post says ‘the Adela / anya challenge begins now.’ There’s something clearly wrong with her. She even admits to trying to make it better than the original... because she clearly plagiarized it. That’s what she’s referring to. Anyway, she deleted this when people asked her to take down the plagiarized illustration. The post just looks like this now: (LINK in case she takes this one down too)

EXHIBIT C

So, she’s got this newest design up on chantalvonrosen.tumblr.com (inb4 she deletes it) where she claims the rest of her designs for her ‘new collection’ are on IG. It seems original enough, right? Nope. A mishmash of Ashe from FF12’s outfit and the princess outfit commissioned for Anya shown above, when CLEARLY the princess outfit commissioned for Anya was not hers to copy. Just refer to the ORIGINAL commissioned art above for references to what was plagiarized. Here’s what she posted: (LINK to the IG post, photo below if removed)

Let’s take a closer look:

Still plagiarized. Adding ‘embellishments’ doesn’t make you less of a thief. “I will aways do better,” she says. Do better to make it look like you’re not plagiarizing, you mean? Maybe don’t plagiarize at all. Stop stealing other people’s outfit design commissions. (And it’s not just outfit design commissions. It’s illustrations, too. More examples below.)

Oh, and what’s that dress to the left? I guess that takes us to

EXHIBIT D

Another design in her new ‘collection,’ right? She posted it separately too so here’s a link for that: (LINK)

Let’s take a closer look:

Still plagiarized. And to make it all worse, one of the artists commissioned to create the original outfit designs (the princess outfit design specifically) actually reached out to her on IG to get her to take them down, but she just blocked her. Also, the artist was already blocked on twitter by the time this plagiarization was discovered. She KNEW what she was doing :) See here, but photo below too: (LINK)

You may have noticed another illustration on the artist’s QRT of the tweet calling out this plagiarizer. Yes, she plagiarized another illustration of the artist’s. Onto

EXHIBIT E

1) Original illustration, a beautiful piece by buntglas_ on twitter again: (LINK)

2) Plagiarized illustration adding Ashe from FF12’s dress design and acting like it’s her own: (LINK but i’ll put the photo below in case she tries to remove it)

Yep. Seeing the pattern here? Anyway, I have no grand conclusion except that @chantalvanrosen (tumblr) / nereide_ondine (twitter) / wantedtiride (twitter) / nereideondine (instagram, but careful because she kept changing usernames when one of the artists posted about the theft) is a thief and a tracer who publishes art and designs and claims they were all her original ideas and work.

NOTE: She offers commissions on her ko-fi where one of her rules is "I decide the pose in which the character will be." See here: (LINK to her ko-fi page, pic below in case she changes urls or whatever)

I mean, this is probably a rule because she has to find someone else’s work she can trace before she can add your character’s details to it. Yikes.

Again, just wanted to show that @chantalvanrosen (tumblr) / nereide_ondine (twitter) / valentina/rossana montesano / wantedtiride (twitter) / nereideondine (instagram) is a thief and a tracer who publishes art and designs and claims they were all her original ideas and work.

I’d be skeptical about commissioning her on ko-fi because she’d probably trace someone else’s work and then you’re stuck with a shitty copy of the original.

Stop stealing, Valentina. Stop publishing outfit designs and illustrations you’ve clearly plagiarized acting like you can do better than the og artists. You can’t do better because you started out from a place of stealing. It’s disgusting and pathetic. Work on your own art for real so you can actually come up with your own designs. Copying other people’s designs then adding embellishments does NOT make you an original creator. It just makes you ... you guessed it, a thief.

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jediincapax · 3 years

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12 PEOPLE I’D LIKE TO GET TO KNOW BETTER.

ONE ( ALIAS / NAME ): Alistair

TWO ( BIRTHDAY ): January 8

THREE ( ZODIAC SIGN ): Capricorn (Western), Rat (Eastern)

FOUR ( HEIGHT ): 4′11″

FIVE ( HOBBIES ): Writing, reading, drawing, puzzles, gaming.

SIX ( FAVOURITE BOOKS ): Dune (Frank Herbert), Silence of the Lambs (Thomas Harris), Sherlock Holmes (Arthur C. Doyle), many more.

SEVEN ( LAST SONG LISTENED TO ): "Me Too” - Meghan Trainor

EIGHT ( LAST SHOW WATCHED ): Rogue One

NINE ( INSPIRATION FOR MUSE ): Obi-Wan? Hm, there wasn’t any fancy story really. I just thought he was neat.

TEN ( MEANING BEHIND YOUR URL ): Ah, it’s a little nerdy, I’m afraid. It’s a play on legal Latin. It’s a little difficult to explain so please bare with me as I put my nerd hat on. Firstly, in jurisprudence, we have a theory called ‘social contract’ (which basically means that a legitimate authority has a ‘contract’ towards its citizens to care for them). A person’s ‘right’ under the law to this contract is what we may refer to as ‘capacity’ (capax). Now, incapacity (incapax) on the other hand means that someone is ‘incapable’ of entering this social contract and the legitimate authority has no obligations to take care of them. In this case, an enemy of the state. I hope you can see where I’m going with this haha but — Obi-Wan, being an enemy of the state (the Jedi are accused of treason) had this ‘capacity’ severed and he’s not under any legal protection by the legitimate government. Anyways, nerd hat off.

tagged by : @galacticmuses and @auroradicit (thank you!)

tagging : @admrl, @fearfcrged, @libertydefendr, @nabooangels, @jaigcaptain, @galaxycrxss, @sithdestined, @healingbrews, @chaotictrxstr. If you see this and want to do it, please go ahead and steal. Also, tag me, I’d like to get to know you :)

#〘 ❝ ᴇᴛ ᴛᴜ ᴀɴᴀᴋɪɴ? ❞ ⥋ tagged 〙#// there's no obligation to do it! >:3c #// me too is my tarkrennic song hahaha

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thethousandyearwitch · 4 years

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“Tumblr Cultings” another Shitpost fic.

Hisoka is a ~~Tumblr Influencer~~ and decides to start drama. 1334 Words.

fanfiction.net link

Click. Clack. Click. Hisokas nails tapped quickly against his phone screen. "Tonight it's going down. I have had e-nough of a certain person here, and all of you deserve to know who and why! ~ ♠️ " Post. He didn't have to wait long before the familiar pings and blops of instant messages and questions asked to his blog started.

Anonymous: Who is it?? (≧▽≦) So excited to see you tear someone a new one!! IM from cutiepanther: where do u even get your info from lol?. IM from chaineddown: I Thought You Were Done Creating Drama For Attention.

Hisoka snickers to himself, lazily grabbing another whiteclaw from the fridge, before retreating to his bedroom desk. He takes a first sip of his drink while opening his laptop, and quickly going on tumblr.com once it has finished setting up. @Bubblegumbitch, 20.879 followers. 7.344 posts. 27 new asks, 7 new IMs. With a satisfied sigh, the popular blogger sets down his can, and cracks his knuckles.

YouTube Influencers make a lot of money through ad-revenue. Instagram influencers hold themselves over water with sponsorships. And though Hisoka did hold a platform on both of these as well, he preferred the more traditional customs of the blogging site. You don't get paid for having a lot of followers, or making popular posts, and sponsorships are almost entirely unheard of. But he wasn't in it for the money anyway. The drama was far more alluring. Hisoka had made his starts as a "Tumblr influencer" through creating blog layouts, masterposts of custom themes, and the occasional "funny" post, which was usually just him vagueing about someone that pissed him off that day. His first call-out post he wrote at 7k followers, calling out a far bigger blogger than he is for stealing codes for their theme and for kinning a character from a TV show that has generally been frowned upon on Tumblr for being "atrocious and a bad influence". No one likes to admit it, but everyone loves a little drama, don't they? To see someone else's dirty laundry aired out, the relief that it isn't their own, the community effort of shutting someone out of their reigns for one simple post. A satisfied Huff escapes Hisoka as he dwells in this lovely memory. Time to make a new one.

"CALLOUT POST for @spidershead13 I can't believe I would ever have to do this for someone like him, but Chrollo has definitely pushed it too far~. Definitely don't harrass him, just unfollow and block his sorry ass!~ ♣️ ."

Excitiment starts to bubble under Hisokas skin. In truth, of course, Chrollo did nothing horribly wrong, nothing at least that Hisoka could proof. But everyone likes good drama between popular blogs that follow different themes. If this post could rile him up enough to write a callout post for Hisoka in return- Blop. IM from porcelaincat: Hisoka. Oh no, the fun police. Bubblegumbitch: Yeeeees?~ ♥️ Porcelaincat: Are you not too old to start petty fights online? Bubblegumbitch: OUCH. ♠️ Bubblegumbitch: I stay young at heart, dear.~ Porcelaincat: 1) Gross. 2). Who are you bullying this time? Bubblegumbitch: Chrollo @spiderhead13 :o) Porcelaincat: I am surprised, I honestly did not take you for that stupid. My fault.

Ouch. Illumi never cared if he was hurting feelings. Maybe he should write the call-out post about Hisoka. Though Hisoka doesn't have any viable dirt on him, not yet at least, not until he finds that porn blog that hes SURE Illumi has hidden away somewhere. Whatever, fuck that guy and his voice of reason. Hisoka takes another gulp of his whiteclaw, and goes back to typing.

"It has come to my attention, that multiple people have had the same unpleasant experience with Chrollo, something you cannot let slide so easily~."

(Multiple people meaning one fake blog that he himself created to write himself IM messages "receipts".)

"In the following screenshots, one person tells me about how Chrollo tried to convince them to come visit him in Newyork and joins his 'church'! That's right, the guys a cult leader, trying to lure in more people from here!~ (Blogname in the Screenshots is blacked out for anonymitys sake ofc)."

Was he going too far, trying to convince everyone that Chrollo was a Cult leader probably out to harvest their organs? Or was he not going far enough

"Not sure what everyone was expecting of a goth blog like his, posting all that ~deep~ and ~brooding~ stuff, but pleeaaaseee stay clear of him now, don't let yourselves get pulled into some scary cult bs~ ♦️ .

#callout #calloutpost #internetbloodsports #cult. "

And post. Hisoka spins excitedly in his chair, self satisfied with his own hubris. Immediately more blops and pings storm in. Anonymous: I knew chrollo was a weirdo, mayor bad vibes ಠωಠ Anonymous: thank you for talking about this, honestly scary!!!!! Spiderslegtostandon: What is your damage? Hisoka chuckles. Now only to wait for- IM from spidershead13: Hello. Chrollos timing was as usual, perfect. Bubblegumbitch: Why hello~~~~ ♠️ Spidershead13: I believe we need to talk about whatever that post was. Hisoka glances at the notes, a steady stream of likes and reblogs flowing in. Damage control is gonna be hard for the opposing side.

Bubblegumbitch: Sorry, I believe I'm just warning the people about you~. Didn't take you for such a dangerous guy :o( Spidershead13: Can you give me the @ of the person sending you those messages? Obviously they must have gotten something wrong. I'd never Invite just anyone to come over here, and I'd also never force my beliefs on anyone. Bubblegumbitch: Sorry, no can do. Who says you're not going to doxx em~. ♠️ I don't want to be responsible for putting someone in danger more than they already are~.

The influencer was now just leaning back in his chair, taking in a cool nights-breeze flowing in from the window. Was Chrollo mad? He's sure he'd want to punch him right now. What will he start Hisokas call-out with? Who would people believe more? It was all so exciting.

Spidershead13: Hisoka, this is nothing to joke about. I don't want to loose the trust of my community. I want to clear my name. Bubblegumbitch: if you can proof that I, or my informant has lied, I won't stop you from trying.~ ♣️ Spidershead13: Is this another childish game to you? Bubblegumbitch: A game? I take public safety extremely serious!~ :o(

No reply for 10 minutes. Hisoka bites his bottomlip, basking in the excitement of the unknown next moves of Chrollo. He was unpredictable, and thats what made him fun to toy with. If he was simply out to ruin someone's blogging experience, he could have cherry picked any one popular blog, dig long enough for dirt, and run them off the site in less than 2 hours. But that's predictable, that's normal, where's the fun in that?

Ping. Anonymous: Where's the Call-out?? Did you bitch out? Huh? Anonymous: did you delete the post? Was about to forward it to some friends who r mutuals with chrollo Pardon? Hisoka check his blog, and behold- The post is gone. Wooshed away, as the site itself would annoyingly proclaim. Did the site glitch out and delete it? Is it simply not displaying the post?

Spidershead13: So you did fake those screenshots, I assume. The URL in your IMs leads to an empty blog with the same IP address as you Spidershead13: I did not take you for someone who'd stoop that low. Bubblegumbitch: Hahaha what did you DO?~ ♠️ ♠️ ♠️ ♠️ ♠️ Spidershead13: Had a friend of mine 'check' your blog. He was also nice enough to delete the post for you already.

Hisoka blinks. Once. Then twice. He's been hacked. This was going even better than he had anticipated. Quickly he screenshots the conversation, before hitting "New Textpost". " !!!I'VE BEEN HACKED BY @SPIDERSHEAD13!!!! [Screenshot] #callout #callout post #internbloodsports #hacker"

Post.

Ping. Blop. Blop. Blop. Ping. This was going to be a long, delicious night.

#hunter x hunter #hisoka marrow #chrollo lucilfer #illumi zoldyck #fanfiction

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milkie-yoongi · 4 years

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21 Questions Tag

yay i love these! especially because i cant go anywhere right now so imma try to find more! thank you @honeyvoicehwang for the tag :)

Name: starts w an S. read the about me section on my blog

Gender: female

Star Sign: pisces !!!!

Current Time: 1:15 PM

Favorite Artist(s): bts, bap, taeyang, song ji eun, eaeon, any OST artist tbh and theres lots more but im only listing the korean music ones

Favorite Song: sweet night - taehyung its just refreshing and sentimental i dont know how to describer

Song Stuck in Your Head: this one annoying song song by this lady i dont know that i keep hearing everyone dance to on tik tok because my friend keeps showing me can she stop tanks

Last Movie You Saw: in theatres? the star wars one, i love D-O i shouldve asked for that remote control robot for birthday i love dumb silly robot

Last Thing You Googled: “reddit” lol im looking for answers for lots of stuff rn

Other Blogs: nothing on here, one blog is enough to keep up with ehe

Main Blog: @milkie-yoongi

Do You Get Asks: i used to, now its rare but people be busy and im not consistently active so i get it, i love asks though please send some in esp at this time in life

Reason For Your URL: lol i don’t even know if there was a real reason behind it, i originally wanted to make a yoongi instagram fanacc but i liked tumblr more so i thought, why not make one there and just see how it does? it was only supposed to be for my personal entertainment and i didnt expect to meet so many wonderful people on here or for it to blow up as quickly as it did when i posted constantly. i didnt expect to be this invested in it either, but here i am today c: . i think i chose “milkie” as the first part of the name because i wanted a pastel/soft theme that was whitish/blueish and yoongi is baby to me and i associate that with that with “milk” and to make it flow better i just added “ie” then of course it was meant to be a yoongi blog so i added yoongi at the end because his name just as it is is beautiful.

Following: 193

Average Amount of Sleep: when im stressed or have to wake up early its around 5-6.5 hours (kinda like yoon yeh), and if i dont have to wake up early and am not stressed i sleep around 7-10 hours. i feel dead everyday though, how do people have energy?

Lucky Number: 13! idk, i dont believe in luck but 13 is a cool number and i always liked it!

Currently Wearing: why do you wanna know? some of these asks make me feel like im being interrogated by the fbi hahaaa but im staying at home today soo a black long sleeve with white small dolphin sillhouetes on the side and sleeves and black leggings. fun right?

Dream Job: at first i never had one, but now i realized i really want to work from home with my laptop. i dont mind what it is as long as i have fun doing it and that it lines up with my values, and i do have a few ideas regarding this, im not gonna put them out here so no one STEALS. because why work for someone else on someone else’s time when you can thrive the best doing what you like and taking advantage of the technology given? i know its gonna be a long road with lots of trial and error but thats what i really want so i can spend more time on what matters in life later on, like taking care of myself and being with family/friends! aside from online jobs though id love to be a piano teacher/piano accompanist because thats the only thing job wise that gives me joy right now.

Dream Trips: anywhere with good food :D right now definitely korea, japan, new zealand, the more nature-y islands in hawaii, anywhere in europe, probably more places but i cant think of any right now. also ive only been on an airplane once in my life!

Favourite Foods: anything with white rice it just makes eating so much easier and enjoyable. meats. seafood like the ones at the restaurants where they give you the bibs which i do not wear and they dump the lobster shrimp and crab and corn all over the table and you can just eat it however you want.

Play Any Instruments: pianopianoapinaoooapinaooapianoo! i used to play violin too in middle and HS but it made my head and jaw hurt and it was gross to me at the time i could not play in tune and i ate in orchestra class all the time instead of paying attention maybe thats why i got worse as i got older, but thats okay because with pianos you dont need to worry about playing in tune but im tempted to pick the violin up again and maybe even try viola...because violas are better i dont care what violin nerds have to say :P

Tagging:

@smolshooky @jincendio @yosunyoongi @heyitsminyoongi @yoongisugameow @xbabyboysx @cpt-falcon @roseghostly @kpoplittleheadcannon @shin-kun1995 @weezbelyse @blackzwaan-yoongi @minsugas-ass @sunshines-babie @agustkeys

if you see this but arent tagged, feel free to do it anyway!

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villainrps · 5 years

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Hi everyone! You may know me as NEETU/NAV/NINA/MINA/NIA, or just by my URL, @villainrps. I had the real displeasure of having to read some shit the last few days, and I’m here to tell you that I’m not happy about it, it wasn’t okay, and here’s why! I had someone who I had never spoken to before and who I, honestly, was not consciously following confront me and admit to having stalked me over a course of several years before finally coming forward and accusing me of plagiarism. This claim has no basis in reality or fact, which I told her to her face privately before she made the decision to block me before I could reply further. I feel no great shame or even hesitation mention this person’s name or URL as they’ve threatened to write a PSA about me for something I know I haven’t done, despite what an overinflated ego believes and might have you believe, so I thought I’d beat her to the punch and “expose” myself rather than give someone else the satisfaction. Read on below to find out all about this rather unpleasant encounter with Sarah, @marvolo ( previously @lilys and @aangs ).

As I’ve already said, I’ll begin with acknowledging that I was, apparently, at one time following Sarah. We never met or spoke, if we were ever in a roleplay together it’s not something I was aware of, and her most recent old URL wasn’t even one that I recognized. I believe that I began following her when she was @aangs, and I found her blog through a friend of mine ( @herorps ) who was likely following Sarah for her RP resources.

I also want to touch on the fact that Sarah states she has been playing the character in question -- a canon character, Lily Luna Potter -- since 2012. I have also been playing Lily Luna since 2012, and I’m sure there are a good number of other people who have been playing her for at least three years, if not the seven that Sarah and I both have. I also want to state that I have never seen Sarah’s portrayal of Lily Luna out in the wild, so to speak, at least to my own conscious knowledge as, despite the fact that she’s apparently been keeping tabs on me, I’ve not been keeping tabs on her. I want to make very clear that I have never plagiarised from anyone, for a number of reasons: a) it’s morally wrong, b) especially in the case of roleplay, it’s not a concept I could ever wrap my head around as writing someone else’s character in any capacity for any length of time isn’t sustainable, and c) I don’t need to. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m an incredibly confident person; I’m secure in my own abilities, I would and have never felt the need to bolster my own skills using the labor of someone else.

Before Sarah took the immense courtesy of very brusquely messaging me with this accusation herself, she decided to present a massive compilation of evidence to the admins of a group that I’m currently in, collected -- again, by her own admission -- over the course of several years without my knowledge of, to put it bluntly, any idea who she even was. You’ll find screenshots of all of these conversations below, but I just want to make it very clear before continuing that this kind of behavior is a plague in our community, and nothing ever makes it okay to literally stalk a complete stranger for years, not even taking into account how calmly and easily she admitted it to a third party, another stranger, as if it’s something rational and normal to do.

Now, regarding the things she’s accusing me of stealing from her portrayal of Lily Luna -- face claim, occupation, house, personality traits, and a few headcanons that I believe to be very generic not only for this specific character but just as far as headcanons go in general -- obviously, yes, I’m as a whole denying all of it. It’s just not true. You’re more than welcome to believe whatever you want about me, but I’m saying now, for the record, that this is not true, and what prompted me to write my own PSA is to call attention to this absolutely reprehensible behavior, as it was total bullshit to me, but also as I’ve heard in asking around that Sarah has a history of making these kinds of accusations against people.

Find first the screenshots of the Google Doc she sent to the admins of a group that I’m in; the Google Doc itself is now defunct, but the admins can attest that these screenshots are complete and unaltered.

PLEASE CLICK HERE TO BE REDIRECTED TO THE SCREENSHOTS.

You'll see on the first page, she admits to having stalked me for "many years," and also posts that her biography has gone through several changes over the years, as well as the fact that she has people who can vouch for her who have been in previous groups with her. I, also, have people who I've known since 2012 who can vouch for me. She also says on the second page that she softblocked me at some point, rather than saying absolutely anything about any of this, despite having kept tabs on me for years and having said or done God knows what to other people about a situation that I had no knowledge of. Also on the second page she vows to "hold [the admins] accountable for the irresponsible way they handled the situation," which apparently just means they read this massive document and decided they didn't agree with her, so obviously they're wrong and at fault here as well. I really have nothing to say about these biosheet/introduction comparisons. I've run the similarities by half a dozen people now, and none of us can see how they're "too similar to be a coincidence," as Sarah says to me later, in our conversation. These are all fairly generic traits and headcanons; talking about Gryffindor traits, about her canonical family, about a headcanon of not being able to cook?, and another that literally just describes some basic Gryffindor aesthetics that you can find right away in a five second Pinterest search. None of these are unique to either one of our portrayals. This is a canon character with an established fanon. I'm sure you could find at LEAST a dozen other people who play Lily as a headstrong Gryffindor who has Harry's eyes and is afraid of losing her family. Towards the end of all this, she also mentions two similar character URLs -- mine, daughterofheroes, isn't even something I came up with myself, it was given to me by a friend that used to play Lily Luna. Additionally, she mentions some similar tags that we both use; "out of the ashes" was based on a really specific RPG event from a group that I ran years ago, and I don't think that I have to say that "lionheart" is about as generic as it gets for a Gryffindor. Then, out of nowhere, she accuses me of changing my introduction for Lily for MinistryHQ, a group that I co-adminned and she apparently briefly thought about joining, to avoid "[being] caught in the act." Remember how she's said her Lily biography has gone through many changes over the years? Apparently, when she does it, it's natural evolution and it's valid, but when I do it, it's obviously because I'm a vicious sneak thief and I don't want anyone to notice. Which, if I didn't want her to "detect" me in my own group, would I not have simply... blocked her? Softblocked her like she did to me? ANYWAY. It then details her conversation with the admins of the group I'm in, where she accuses me of plagiarism to them, but asks that I not be told about them at all, which -- I don't know, maybe I'm being unreasonable, but that's incredibly insensitive to the admins and the position that’s putting them in ( hey, kick this person out but you're not allowed to tell them why! ), not to mention still being weirdly stealthy about stalking me for this long?? Not only accusing me of plagiarism to them, then, but completely reaching up your ass and deciding that the reason you've kept all this a secret is because you think I'm going to harass you?? So now I'm not only a thief, I'm a bully too?? And, again, WE HAVE NEVER SPOKEN. In my opinion, the admins are exactly on point, telling her that the only person doing the harassment is you -- I have no idea how this can be seen as anything but, deciding you don't want a total stranger to have access to your blog despite the fact you've NEVER allotted them the courtesy of knowing you have an issue with them to begin with, despite the fact that you're helping yourself to having kept tabs on them for a span of YEARS -- and saying, like what I've just said, that neither of our Lily portrayals are particularly unique. I'll own up to that lol. But Sarah's not quite ready to do that, as you'll see in this next set of screenshots.

Next you can find the screenshots of Sarah finally taking the time to message me about her perceived grievance with me, finally after being quite literally forced to after her encounter with the admins of the group I’m in.

PLEASE CLICK HERE TO BE REDIRECTED TO SCREENSHOTS

A lot of the things I have to say I've already said directly to Sarah. Before I was blocked, that is. I'm a very-upfront person, and my tone in these IMs is not gonna be any different from my tone in this PSA lol. But let's still pick through for any important things. This is probably a little petty to point out, but I really need to mention that she says she's "[tried] to just let this go" and I really wanna ask you, reading this: does any of this so far seem like the actions or mental space of a person who's trying to let this go? Because that's not how it reads to me! But anyway, like I say to her, the tone of this message is incredibly abrasive; I don't think it's at all fair that she's been letting this anger and resentment stew for literal years, only to come at me with this message and act like she's tried to address it to me before and this is her last warning before putting me on blast as a last straw. Again, like I say to her, I just really think this whole accusation is incredibly ego-based coming from a place of thinking that she has a singular claim to what is just a very generic portrayal of this popular canon character, thinking that anyone who plays this character in a similar way to her must, logically, be copying her because there’s no other explanation for two similar ideas other than the fact that someone is jealous of her, etc. Much of this speaks for itself, but at the end of this conversation you can see us talking about the fact that the basis for my Lily Luna is a completely different canon character from an entirely different fandom. Even when I mention that and link her the application from four years ago, she still insists that that biography, now, was even plagiarized from her Lily Luna, despite how little sense that makes. If I wanted to rip someone's biography for Canon Character A, I would rip someone's biography that was also written for Canon Character A, not stumble upon a biography for a completely unrelated Canon Character B and copy that. This one in particular just really. Blows my mind. She ends the conversation by saying that it's "ridiculous" that I won't "cop" to something that I did not do; what I find ridiculous is that she's now had three people tell her her characterization just ain't that special and instead she's choosing to fall back on this narcissistic tirade that she's apparently been on against me for years without my knowledge. Well, you know what, Sarah? I had no reason to care about you then, and I still have no reason to care about you now. But you know what, honey? If this helps you sleep better at night, stalking and harassing random strangers on the internet to feed your ego, then you just go on believing that I’m the bad guy and everyone’s out to get you. Clearly that’s what you need to make it through the day, so who am I to take that away from you?

In conclusion, this whole thing really just caught me off guard rather than having the intimidating effect that was intended. I know I didn’t steal from anyone, which is why I feel comfortable enough posting all this, but I think that this has really gone on long enough and some people in this community really just need to be held accountable for getting off on shit like this. Some people here are too scared of confrontation to call shit like this out, but I’m not one of them.

If you’ve read this far and your brain is still intact, congratulations! Because I was feeling really fried after experiencing all of this first hand. This is ridiculous, considering I thought we left this sort of rpc drama back in 2015. Also, for reference to these proofs that were collected by Sarah, please see below for most of the screenshots, as the google doc is not available to me any longer.

PLEASE CLICK HERE TO BE REDIRECTED TO SCREENSHOTS

#rpc #rp psa #psa #signal boost #rph

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danidoesathing · 5 years

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Dr. Corenthal is the dad of the Slenderverse AU Part 2: The Electric Boogaloo

HERE WE GO AGAIN LADS

IVE BEEN WRITING THIS FOR DAYS

I’m stealing a lot of ideas from my discord and Tim’s alters are from @jaysbabyknife

Some ideas from: @habitmorelikefuckyou, @benjamin-benny-ben, @cryptidalex, @jaysbabyknife and others (but I don’t have their urls)

I would like to preference this with the fact I do not have DID. If I get anything wrong I’m sorry, please let me know so I can change it.

So anywho, lets get onto the domestic headcanons

—————————————————

-This should be obvious but the Corenthal household is LGBT+ friendly!!! No homophobes and transphobes allowed thanks!!

-Evan and Alex play Overwatch and Forenight together a lot

-“DAD SAYS IT MY TURN TO USE THE XBOX”

-Steph collects bugs! She really likes them and finds them fascinating

-Milo still has Oscar the cat

-Stan has a little garden back behind the house

-Tim and Jay are dating because I said so

-There first date was them exploring the woods together, neither of them thought it was a date until Tim had the impulse to kiss him and he did and then went “K bye see you next time” and they’ve been dating ever sense

-The Corenthal household loves Jay, he’s practically one of my them at this point

-Jay has a bunch of lizards and rats and he bring them over from time to time

-One of them is named Jimothan and he’s a big baby

-Sunday movie nights with family. Friends and datefriends are allowed but if your corenthal’s kid you gotta be there

-Patrick and Michael share a room. They could have separate rooms but when Michael has a nightmare or panic attack (something that used to happen often) Patrick calms him down, and vice versa

-Tim reads a lot of books

-One of the rules of the house: If you see, think or even feel something wrong, you tell someone. It may be nothing, but it could be something

-Everyone still takes medication

-Alex reads a lot of comics and really like superhero movies

-Jeff isn’t really a fan but he’ll take Alex to see them anyway

-Alex dresses up as Spiderman for Halloween

-Tim works at a movie theater not too far from the house

-Roger dragging Vinnie out to the woods to search for Bigfoot and the Mothman

-Michael, Tim and Jeff both love music and play together sometimes

-Patrick still dresses in really fancy outfits whenever he can

-Stan is dating a girl from down the road named Susan

-They’re that cutesy couple who everyone hates for being too cute

-Tim has DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder)

-“Masky” in this universe is name is Vendetta, Ven for short. He saw the movie once and said “that’s my name now”

-He’s selectively mute. He usually uses sign language

-He’s like.... a huge dork. Like he’s still feral and stuff but... he’s a major dork

-He tends to wonder the forest when he wants to be alone

-He’s got a huge crush on Jay. He keeps leaving jay wildflowers (with dirt and roots) and is like “DOES HE LIKE THEM??”

-He keeps wanting to hug and kiss him all the time and Tim is just like “please stop”

-Tim: “Alright we’re going to hang out with ja-“ Ven, forcing himself to the front: “JAY??? JAY?!? 💕JAY!!!”

-He and Jay have to talk by texting for a while

-Jay learning sign language so he can talk to Ven and Ven goes “!!!!!!”

-come on Jay how come you get two boyfriends

-Ven likes to walk around at odd hours. Tim will wake up at Burger King at 3:46 am and be like “Fuck”

-Loves!!! Rain!!!

-Halloween is his time

-Dr. Corenthal has to turn on tracking on his phone so he can find Tim when this happens

-He has a younger alter named Billy, who’s ten years old

-He is baby

-He makes fun of Tim a lot and loves armadillos

-He keeps trying to convince Jay to steal one from the zoo and Jay is so tempted

-Alex is excited because he’s not the youngest anymore!!!

-He wants Tim to be a cowboy for some reason

-Billy: “Dr. Corenthal can we get an armadillo and name it Sprinkles” Corenthal: “It kills me to say no but-“

-He helps Stan with his garden sometimes

-Billy also loves Sparky

-He has an alter named Mary and she is a mom

-She is very calm and respectful to everyone

-She’s so.... soft

-Protective af

-She and Dr. Corenthal like to sit and just talk

-She gets very worried whenever Evan has his knives out cause like... it’s dangerous and Christ he’s gonna hurt himSELF PUT IT DOWN

-She really likes to draw. She’s a really good artist

-Mary would like.... die for this family

-Her favorite band is The Oh Hellos

-Tim: *stays up until 1am watching Netflix eating drunk food* Mary, on the verge of tears: “Please.... just go to bed”

-All of Tim’s alters love Jay. All of them

-When Dr. Corenthal found out Tim had DID he was like “Great!!! More kids!!!”

-Brian will come over a lot and play with Alex

-D&D nights on Tuesdays

-Stan tutors a 3rd grader named Willow from down the road

-Milo still writes in his journal

-Noah really likes photography

-The Rake is there but he’s not... evil or anything he’s just.... there

-Alex and him can talk like, telepathically kinda of

-Alex puts little hats and stuff on the Rake and he’s cool with it

-Milo and Noah will go out at weird times, like they leave at 2am for milkshakes because they just want milkshakes

-Patrick is the go to man for events outfits. He’s got a top notch fashion sense

-Of course living in a house full of people that mostly wear hoodies and flannel gives him a headache

-Once when Alex was 8 he convinced Jeff to perform in his school’s talent show. Jeff really didn’t want to do it but he wanted to make Al happy

-The whole family showed up and were so proud of them

-VERY LOVING AND HAPPY FAMILY

#slenderverse #marble hornets #everymanhybrid #tribetwelve #mh #emh #t12 #mlandersen0 #mla0 #stan fredrick #stan frederick #the record of stan frederick #the record of stan fredrick #sf #adoption au #corenthal family au

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justtessasworld · 5 years

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love is weakness 4 | kai parker

Aaaand here´s part 4, hope you enjoy!

(english´s still not my first language, so have mercy)

In which secrets are found out and traps are made.

“How is she?”, Kai asked worried.

“She's going to be fine. Elena and Damon are looking after her”, Jo explained.

They were meeting in the Grill, not yet knowing how close to y/n Kai was able to be without hurting her.

“Because last time Damon was only nice to her”, Kai grumbled, playing with the knife on the table.

“Now tell me exactly what our father told you.”

“The spell Dad put on her will literally kill her if you get too close to her for too long. Apparently the whole coven helped him. He wanted to make sure that you never get to be with her again, if you ever got out.”

The siphoner growled, clenching his fists. “That bastard.”

Jo nodded softly. Even though she didn't hate their father like Kai did, she was angry at him for that spell. And she never really forgave him for killing y/n.

“How do we destroy the curse?”

The woman shook her head. “I don't know. Dad didn't want to tell me. I think he knows you're back. And I mean, if he needed a whole coven to do the spell, I think we're a bit low on magic.”

Kai chuckled. “Oh sissy, trust me, I have a lot of magic.”

“Not enough.”

“Alright”, Kai stood up to leave. Apparently he had to find a way to reverse the spell himself.

“Kai, there's something else.”

“What now, dearest sister”, he snarled.

“The reason why y/n's still young, the reason why she's even alive.”

Kai looked at her expectantly.

“She isn't. Alive that is. She's actually not alive nor dead. She's a ghost.”

“Let me out of here!”, y/n shouted, slamming against the door.

After her break down in the living room, she gained conscience again in one of the bedrooms, apparently still in the Salvatore mansion. She still didn't know why she suddenly felt like dying a few hours (or maybe it's already been a day, she didn't know) ago, but Elena mumbled about something like a spell, when she brought her food about two hours ago.

They weren't in Harry Potter, dammit. Everything was so weird here. Spells, superspeed (at least with Damon), a man she didn't know but somehow did know. It was like her life turned into a bad twilight fanfiction.

Cursing, y/n tried to open the windows in the room again, failing again. Not like she could jump out of a window five meters above the ground anyway. She was clumsy and she didn't have a death wish.

What was wrong with these people? First they wanted to ‘get to know her’, then they nearly killed her and now they were holding her prisoner. Pouting y/n dropped onto the bed. God, her roommate and her neighbor were surely already worried! And of course, Damon took her phone, before locking the door.

Suddenly the door opened and Jo slipped into the bedroom.

Abruptly y/n sat up, looking at the witch suspiciously.

“You must be confused.”, Jo started, causing y/n to roll her eyes.

“OK, so it's a long story…”

“I'm a what?!”

“I know it must be hard but-”

“No, no, no, no. It was hard believing you, that Elena and Damon are vampires. It was hard, believing you that you're a witch, that your twin brother is one too and is only younger than you by, what, 15 years because he was trapped inside a prison world. It was hard believing you that you know me, that this Kai knows me because I was your friend when I was younger.”, y/n rambled, angrily walking around the room.

“All that was hard! It's impossible to believe you that I was born in the 70s, that- that I was killed by your father, that I'm- that I'm a freaking ghost! That's unbelievable!”

Finishing her monolog, y/n had to sit down, pushing her hair over her shoulder. God, she knew at least parts of Jo's story were true.

While explaining…everything, Jo showed y/n her magic, let Damon and Elena show her their vampire teeth (who disappeared soon afterwards to ‘take care of something’) and also showed y/n pictures. Pictures of y/n and Kai sitting at a table, laughing heartily over a game. Of a young Jo and y/n, sitting in pyjamas on a couch at a sleepover.

And while Jo was talking about their time together, y/n realized that she didn't really have any memories of her childhood or in general her life til two years ago. She knew she was born in Portland, knew how her house looked and her parents but she realized she didn't know why she never visited them, she just never felt like she wanted to.

And now it made sense. If she died 20 years ago, showing up at her parents door now would be kind of difficult to explain. Her whole life was a lie.

“So your father accidentally killed me in the night Kai murdered your family and then resurrected me after he imprisoned him. And then he deleted my memory every few years so that I would never question how I couldn't get older? God, he's such a freak!” Y/n growled.

How did her live turn upside down in, what, 24 hours?

“He wasn't able to resurrect you completely, though. That's not really possible. You're alive but not”, Jo stated, repeating again what she said earlier.

Y/n nodded. “And that's why I don't have to eat or to drink and why I don't have a heart beat and why I never get a cold.”

These were things she also realized. God, now it did make sense why she always felt so different. But she couldn't say that she was happier now knowing all that.

“You said Kai and I were close, and that our relationship was special”, y/n said after a while, looking at the picture of them. Again she got that weird feeling. Looking at the picture felt like home.

Kai felt like home.

“Yes, you and Kai were so unbelievable close. You were the only person he ever loved I think.”, Jo's eyes dropped.

“You should probably rest now. I know it was a lot to take in.” Y/n nodded shakingly, still looking at the picture.

She faintly heard the door open and close. Walking over to her bed, she layed down.

She fell asleep shortly after that, holding onto the polaroid.

A few days later, y/n still lived in the Salvatore mansion.

After explaining everything to her and Kai, Elena, Damon, Jo and Alaric decided that it was best to just let her go.

Y/n stayed with them though, not because she couldn't bear to be without her friends (which she could, considering they had threatened her life) but because they were her best shit at figuring out what to do with her life (and how to stop Jonah Parker to delete her memories again) and how to destroy the curse.

“We're going to meet Kai now at the Grill”, Elena said, walking into the kitchen and taking a blood bag out of the fridge.

That's something that was still weird for y/n.

Y/n nodded, feeling strangely sad about having to stay here. My God, she believed them that Kai and her were really close but he had murdered his family and being near to him would kill her (as she found out 3 days ago) so she shouldn't even want to be near him!

“About the deal to leave the town?”, y/n asked then, sitting down with her lunch.

Elena nodded her head faintly. “About that, but also about the curse and the memory stealing.” She whispered the last part.

Y/n knew that Damon thought it was good that she was cursed. That way they wouldn't ever have to worry about Kai stealing her away and them losing their ‘hostage’.

But even Damon said last night, that Kai didn't even touch anyone since he saw her.

So apparently their deal was working, at least kind of. Kai was still in town (and said to Jo that he won't leave until they knew exactly what was going on with y/n) but he behaved like a normal citizen.

It was already dark outside when Jo called y/n. The ‘ghost’ or whatever she really was, was sitting on the couch, watching Netflix while the others were still talking to Kai.

“What's up?”, y/n asked, muting the TV.

“Y/n! We found a way to to lift the curse!” Y/n sat up excited.

“What? How?”

“It's complicated but we think we can do it! You just have to come here!” Y/n nodded, standing up and getting her jacket.

“You're still at the Grill?”

“Yes! But hurry up we don't have much time!”

“I'll be there in 10!”, y/n said, ending the call. Leaving the house she smiled, everything was going to be right.

Jonah chuckled, throwing away Jo's phone.

It was so easy to transform your own voice into someone else's with little magic.

Jo struggled against the magic chains that tied her to a chair. Alaric laid unconscious on the floor, Elena and Damon next to him with snapped necks.

“Don't you touch her!”, Kai growled, running towards his father in pure rage. “Motus”, Jonah Parker said, making Kai fly into the wall of the Grill, knocking him out.

“Oh, Malachai. I'm only making sure that you will never have her.”

wellll that was that.

taglist: @kikii-stfu @panic-naran @bizzlepotter @kxttykatmichael @mrsobrien888 @omg-lexiloveyou @lareinadelaluz @teehxk @ammyy2018 @heda-mikaelson @sallyp-53 @mariesgalaxy

(if your url looks like that, I somehow can´t tag you)

(want to be added to the taglist? Just write it in the comments!)

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universal-kitty · 5 years

Text

.: Drama Involving AJ :.

Stylized ‘til I die, I guess. Anyways.

This is talking about phasefuck/huckerbee/teafrogs/whatever their URL is this week. AJ/Lee. The compilation of what’s happened involving them.

So... Starting at the beginning.

D was the reason I got into Borderlands. I watched her play TFTBL and gush about Rhys and get more involved and understand the ship she had! Also got my first crush on Zer0, but... Y’know.

So I did some art, started plotting ideas for who’d eventually be Gremlin- aka Rena Marlow, my SI for BLands- and that led...to us meeting AJ. They wanted me or D to join their server. D preferred because of her self-ship with Rhys, but I could join, too. D was nervous about new, strange people and I wanted to learn more about Borderlands and try new things, so... I hopped in, D stayed behind.

The time with them was pretty fun! Ended up making some friends, plotted fun ideas for AJ’s idea of the time, Borderlands Infinite. A continuation of Tales as AJ saw it. The server was made PRIMARILY for this endeavor and everyone in it was allowed an OC or self-insert to be paired with whoever they wanted to be with....long as they were open, that is. AJ had HJack, and everyone else... Well, most of the spares had been paired off by the time I joined.

Rhys was potentially still open, cause someone AJ had previously been talking with...either wasn’t responding, or had dropped out entirely. I forget by this point. Zer0 wasn’t an option and I didn’t know much of the others, so.... I accepted Gremlin to be paired with Rhys.

Thus the origins of my verse with Rhys. (As well as the OT3 with him and Vaughn... They started here.)

Tension was pretty high in the group and- though I didn’t acknowledge it at the time- it was primarily from AJ. Nobody else could like Handsome Jack “too much”... You could be playful about him, a little joke-flirty...but if you were suspected to like HJack, then you were “stealing” him from them. Because of this- while the group was friendly enough- it was hard to get into the “share faves” vibe that a lot of us seemed to have; gushing about a character that wasn’t your own just......felt weird.

Not sure if anyone else noticed, but that was my experience.

Anyways, I helped AJ with their story a lot due to being online a ton, with no work to do. We talked on the daily about what Rena could do, what Helios was like, how the story would go... The long-term slowburn we were putting Rena and Rhys through. I praised their art and ideas, they cheered for Rena/Rhys. It was pretty mutually supportive....

...Until AJ kicked fits. I was always online, so what about everyone else?? When I wasn’t online- sometimes if I was- I’d get put on a pedestal for helping out while others said nothing. (Essentially saying something like “Aki helps out all the time, but nobody else does” or, the popular one, “maybe I should just delete this since nobody cares.” I don’t have screenshots of this for reasons that’ll be explained in a moment.)

We typically talked them out of these, but eventually... It did happen. AJ messaged me that the old group had been deleted and there was now a new group of only the ACTIVE people. This left me and a few others, thought some other people would eventually cycle in. (One of which still being someone I look up to even today!! Even if we don’t talk much, lol.)

I got more creative freedom during this time, since other people “lost out” in their spots and... Somehow, this led to me taking on Nisha, too. I paired her with my OCs, Pyrotech and Meowzer. (Ex-Creepypasta OCs revamped for BLands. Is this my origins for my Nisha ship? Kinda!!!)

But by this point... I had grown to *really* like HJack. I’d made a slip before (more on that later), but learned his character very well and even played him for roleplays AJ and I were doing. AJ played themself and Rhys; I controlled Jack and Rena. All that research led to feelings....and ones I knew AJ wouldn’t approve of. So I did two things, right off the bat: kept my head down and immediately worked on justifying why I liked him. See, it’s because...it’s not the “canon” Handsome Jack!! The one I ship with has golden clasps! So they’re not the same!! And uhhhh....more bad things happened to him? He dresses more lavishly...?

I kept trying to come up with ways AJ might approve of my AU Jack without invoking their wrath. Not that...it would end up doing much, in the long run.

I invited one of my friends to join during this. One who also liked HJack...and proved my worries right. (Checked my Discord; I still have some of the messages!!! Whoop, here we go...)

Don’t have screencaps of the drama that proceeded to unfold- especially due to AJ blocking me on Discord and so losing all of our conversation- but.... That’s just how THAT is, I guess.

They did get super cold after and I had to explain things to my friend, while also assuring AJ that I would handle things and it’d be alright. It was an uncomfortable hiccup, but one that went by easily enough...

Though as I said, it was a significant event to show me how careful I needed to be when it came to HJack and AJ.

Also during this time... Another friend I’ll just refer to as P. We’d also been roleplaying in this time and having a blast. Absolute joy and- we don’t talk much anymore- but I do still consider them a dear friend. I played as CEO Rhys for them and they were Handsome Jack for me; we played our characters (my SI, their OC) and just... Had so much fun with it all.

So then... Amidst all the fun, it eventually happened.

What I described in this callout post.

AJ and I...we ended up dating at some point. I thought they were cool, we got along well, talked a LOT and all this... So I didn’t see a problem with it. Why not? I’ll get to have an awesome artist S/O with their cool ship and all their ideas... We’re gonna be unstoppable!

...But I also had abandonment issues. Too many times did I pour my all into someone, only to be left empty. I’ve always been the most supportive person in a room, trying to uplift EVERYONE to feel good! Cause yeah, everyone deserves that! AJ knew this. We’d talked about our issues and vented.....

And they still did that. They left my server as I slept. Blocked me on Discord, though I didn’t notice it at first.

...It was the one day I checked Tumblr first. They left their blog for a new one. Okay!! I’ll follow them on there, then! I did, and checked Discord. That was in the vent channel, and this was sent to me by a mutual friend.

So that’s how I woke up that day. Suddenly alone and single. And very, very depressed. I would end up posting these as my friends had to help me down:

“ ……now I wish I would’ve gotten lost after all or kept sleeping ….nothing is work being awake right now”

“ I just don’t want to exist I hate myself all over again I can’t get past that”

“ AJ just…..dropped me. Just like that. I didn’t know and tried to follow her new blog….. Either they just soft-blocked me or outright blocked me

“I feel so fuckin’ horrible”

At the time, I was horribly depressed due to outside causes. I was suicidal at the time and getting into some light, risky behavior in hopes it could be a factor in the end of my life. (I would walk around at night, hoping that the growing heat would either cause heat exhaustion or someone would attack me. Abduct me. Whatever meant that I would be gone and in pain.)

I later learned that this is actually learned behavior; my dad would react in extremist ways to things (something broke? “I want to kill myself.”) and so I probably learned it from him. This has actually made managing my suicidal thoughts easier, but at the time, I did not know this and put me more at risk.

Though this then kept continuing.... Because of course these things do.

It starts all over with me trying to move on. Someone was advertising their self-ship server, I wanted to try again and make friends... So I gave it a shot and joined!

....AJ was in there.

I quickly left as soon as I had entered, telling the owner I couldn’t stay due to troubles with someone else in there. They were understanding and, thankfully, that was that.

...But it STILL wasn’t. These are older messages, so I can’t get them together as much as I’d like to (in one screenshot, is what I’m saying) so I’ll also quote these, but if anyone needs screenshot proof, I can get that on request.

Anyways, our mutual friend (I’ll nickname her MF for “mutual friend” lol) later piped up with this:

05/19/2018 “So, aj invited me to a group chat and I'm a pushover who hasn't been able to cut them off yet so I said yes and boi I'm big uncomfortable now Like I thought I could maybe juggle being friends with both aj and Rachel even after what aj did but I was wrong.

“But idk what do now. I don't know what to say to them because I don't want to just drop them without saying anything. No doubt that'll get them talking about me behind my back”

.:.

“I might try that. I might mute the server so that I don't have to deal with that because i can't stay in it but I don't want to start shit by leaving I mean they are acting like Rachel is in the wrong”

.:.

“That they "stole their f/o" and that they are going to take the dragon idea that Rachel had for blands and "make it better" out of spite And I'm not happy”

.:.

“Well I just typed up a long message and while I'm glad I'll finally cut out a toxic person I'm also super nervous

“I sent it and left the server

“Wow okay all I got was a "Bye then" I sent a long ass message. Explaining my side and why. Hoping they'd understand and they just said bye then??????”

As you can see.... Everyone who’d been in that server (me, P, and MF) were on-edge about the “talking behind our back” issue that MF confirmed above. I figured it would happen, but it did...and that was a league all it’s own. (Especially when the callout post went around, and it got confirmed AGAIN that slander in my name was still going around.)

But one more thing happened that triggered this onslaught... Remember my RP w/ P? Well, this happened.... [TW for daddy kink mention? Calling themself Daddy?? That thing.]

Link to Ask.

Was never reblogged. Sent to me by a friend. To my knowledge, nobody spread this around AT ALL. But this was brought up in the same vent/time period as the above conversation.....

MF: Aj said that Rachel stole hj from them.

Me: Me, apparently. It's somewhere between that post and the ask (I think?) P sent me..... Which I loved and was hella surprised over, but. Oh boy.

Fren (aka owner of Karma): My god wtf can she like calm tf down

MF: They actually were mad that people were reblogging a post of yours, probably the kitten thing, that was about hj because it's "gross"

Fren: geeze Aj grow up

Me: ??????? Nobody reblogged it, tho

MF: Hmmmmm they vagued about someone shipping with him, someone they had blocked, that liked the daddy kink and stuff

I mean. I get it’s a gross thing for people, but.... HJack has also called himself “daddy/papa” on more than one occasion. It’s up for debate if he does it because he is Literal Dad or because he’s that nasty, but... Considering everything else he does, the latter seems the most obvious. That’s just how he is.

Anyways. The point being that we had each other mutually blocked by this point. I had people either block me, soft-block me, OR just outright unfollow + soft-block me because they were more trusting of AJ than of me. So to hear that they somehow knew P was sending me that ask...... Either someone TOLD them or they were stalking my blog to see what I was doing while they were gone.

Either way, not great. (What was pretty funny is I later made a joke about “stealing the rights to Handsome Jack from 2k so nobody else can do anything with him” and that “I’m a wanted man”... That’s nice.)

And so... We get to more recently.

Last I personally heard, I had to do some personal checking that led up to this... Saw leeships in self insert tag. New self-ship blog, so I blocked, as well as checking their blocked main to make sure everything lined up....and was greeted with this.

They’ve since changed their URL- again- but the fact they’re STILL being petty towards D is just....something else.

Speaking of, I’m not actually...sure where that started. There was a whole conversation we had over how AJ treated D out of sight of others (they talked over IMs, I guess because we were budding friends at the time, and what else do I do but hype up all my friends?) There was a lot of attention-seeking behavior from AJ (showing their art and then getting mad when D or Fren tried to compliment them for “lying” about the compliment...?), but far as I knew/remember, there wasn’t any bigger issue.

...After we broke up, however, an issue began as D and I became better friends. Friends stick with friends, D knew AJ, so when the blocking-bug was going around, D blocked them, too.

Which eventually snowballed into the bullshit you can still see today. With AJ trying to claim that D is the one dealing out harassment when- at worst- maybe D did talk too much and AJ didn’t deal with it in a healthy way. (Because that is an issue I’ve heard of; except AJ freaked out over it, instead of talking it out like a healthy adult and figuring out how they could balance out the conversation. Seriously. I’ve had this talk with D. We don’t dominate our conversations at all; nobody over the other. If there ever was a problem, then literally just saying “Hey, I don’t feel heard/listened to when I talk about my ship” was all AJ ever needed to say, but....... Y’KNOW.)

I’m not D, so I can’t say the full scenario of that, but this is the best way I can show there was a middle ground AJ could’ve used to work things out, but they didn’t.

Oh, and just so I’m not saying things if you haven’t already seen this... Here’s a screenshot someone (for privacy’s sake) got of AJ trying to pin the blame on D for being the “real harasser” in their BYF:

We all just wanted to get over this. However, D and I especially don’t want to get involved with or be AROUND AJ/Lee in any way. So we keep an eye on what they do so we can feel safe. We DON’T want to forgive AJ/Lee (for obvious reasons), so we keep blocking their accounts and/or make sure they’re still on our blocklist.

I know I’ve resorted to putting their URLs on BLACKLIST to make sure I don’t see them at ALL because of how much stress they put me under just seeing them around.

What the hell do THEY have to be stressed about? Dealing with people they hurt for BEING hurt and not wanting them around us anymore?? Fuck....

.:.

Anyways. I guess that about concludes all I wanted to write about. Friendly reminder that their old callout post is here and while I doubt a new one will crop up any time soon (as I sure don’t want to write one that’ll get around, after the last time I had a friend try to help me do a callout post on someone like this), you can at least look up that one more time after reading this.

So...... That’s the end. Thanks for reading this and I’m sorry if anything was upsetting.

...If you want, you can come to the ask box and ask for a gif of your F/O? Or a cute puppy or kitten? Maybe I can find some nice fanart for you as comfort...? IDK, options.

#Aki speaks #It's the Discourse

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my-whats-app-number · 5 years

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With regard to repeat copyright infringement, we use a three-strike system to evaluate the standing of a user's account, where, generally, each valid copyright infringement notice constitutes a strike, and three strikes results in the termination of a user's account. When a user submits a valid DMCA counter-notification, we remove the associated strike from their record.

Whew. It's a complex process, but one we're proud of, and that we think strikes all the appropriate balances.Report copyright infringementReport trademark infringement

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Link to Prior Versions

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http://github.com/tumblr/policy/commits/master/community-guidelines.txt

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notwxrriors · 5 years

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hey uh, so someone said slowverbs was posting your stuff and I just wanna let you know there was a few people logged into her account and they were all tweeting random shit, someone was just copy pasting them like copy pastas, they weren't stealing anything and it was just a funny little joke with our friend group

okay sick! just don’t steal my shit! u can make fun of me if u wanna but please don’t steal my shit! ik it seems sorta dumb but i really do put a lot of time and energy into this blog and i love it so much, so if yall wanna poke fun at me tht’s cool but at least tell em my url lmfao

i realize u guys weren’t trying to steal my shit or anything ofc but juST for future reference. anyway yr cool thanks for letting me know take care of urself!!!

#ask

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lunamanar · 5 years

Text

Embodiment

So, the last three or four years have been...rough. It’s weird, the way time seems to warp when you’re going through something. You think of your current, extended trauma as being somehow apart from the life you were living before it started, and you keep thinking it’s just temporary, and that once it’s over, you’ll be able to get back to the way things were. Time will start again. ‘Now’ doesn’t really count.

And you keep waiting for “now” to be over...but it just keeps going, and pretty soon you’re not sure if it’s ever going to end. Like you’ve been diverted down some darker timeline that isn’t really yours, but there’s also no going back.

It feels horrible. It feels like you’ve been lied to. This wasn’t part of the plan, it was supposed to be a detour that would ultimately circle back to the main road, and home. Now you’re in some strange place, you’re lost, you have no GPS signal, and the 'detour’ has vanished behind you. Wherever you are, you’re here. ‘Home’ is a memory. This is it, this mess is your life, now, and you never wanted it to be this way, but you can’t change it, so you have to find some way of living with it...and with your grief.

I spent three years thinking I was still on the detour, waiting for the moment everything felt safe again and I could finally breathe a sigh of relief that it was all over. I thought that moment would come when I bought this house. When my husband finally moved up with me from the old house. When I finally started working from home. When I got my promised raise. When I finished the last of my three years of training. When, finally, I sold my old house.

But months after that last milestone was reached, I was still lost. I’ve been working steadily in the job I’d fought so hard to acquire. I managed to keep in touch with Tumblr and Discord for the first couple years, but as time dragged on and my schedule never quieted, my energy began to flag. I fought that; I’ve done everything I can to make this new house Like Home. The walls are painted, pictures are hung (which is more progress than we made on the old house in our 6 years of living there!), we replaced flooring. I got a new computer, a monster rig I built myself that will hopefully last me another 10 years, just like its predecessor. Got a new car. I’ve done everything to infuse this place with myself, my family, my interests. Everything that makes me who I am. Everything outward about my life would have you believe that I’ve settled, that this is home to me, now. It should be.

And still, I’ve found myself holding my breath, waiting for Time to start again.

It’s been so confusing. Nothing makes sense: why haven’t things gone back to normal? Why do I feel so displaced? Why doesn’t my bed feel like it used to at the other place? Why can’t I concentrate? Why can’t I feel safe enough, settled enough to go back to writing? After all this struggle and accomplishment, why do I feel like such a goddamn failure?

Where’s that feeling I used to have of connectedness? Of confidence? What’s happened to me that I’m so insecure and lost-feeling, flinching at every perceived danger to my self-worth? I’ve done so much, come so far! Everything should be fine. I shouldn’t be this broken. I’ve built this life, this house all around me. I should be home, by now.

This confusion, and the creeping fear and despair that follows it, along with a grueling work schedule, has resulted not only in my continued silence (albeit with occasional pop-ins to deal with situations of immediacy, like the tumblr purge, as well as simply to indicate “I’m not dead, no one steal my url plz lol”), but a stagnation in my creativity. Not that I haven’t raged against the dying of the light--not a week goes by I don’t open a story I’d been working on in 2015 and at least stare at it for a few minutes--but the vision, the enthusiasm I had for them before eluded me, and any words I put down were more this seems to go here than this is what happened, like I was finishing someone else’s abandoned jigsaw puzzle. I could still see where all the pieces went and even how they fit together, but that’s not how it’s supposed to work for me. I feel my way through my writing puzzles. I know what goes where, because I just know. I don’t have to look.

That was gone, and it was the same everywhere. These stories felt vast and overwhelming, and I was no longer grand enough to contain them. I wasn’t an integral part of them, like I had been. I was just another visitor, constantly checking my map, trying to figure out just where the hell I was going with all this. I was small and too disconnected to feel like I had the authority to write for this world, or any other. To say anything about it at all, really. I’d gone away, and like so many other spectres of home, it didn’t know me, anymore.

To say I’ve felt isolated, even abandoned, for the past several months, would be an understatement. I’ve blamed no one but myself. I made the choice to take this job, to uproot myself and move everything and everyone I knew to a place none of us had lived before, on the premise that it would make our lives better. I’m the one who turned off the main road. I was behind the wheel, for all of this. If that frankly traumatic process had destroyed my ability to be open, to be grand, to remember how to feel and lift up all of the things I love and let them breathe through my words, then that was my fault.

It sounds dramatic, I guess. But, I imagine, a lot of people who write understand this experience of feeling at once both insignificantly small and unfathomably vast all at once, where you can feel exactly how the influence of your words changes the world and its story as you write them, such that you don’t really have to think about it; you change the trajectory slightly, and the world in your head shifts with it naturally. You don’t have to remember to change this or that detail later to align it. You already know it’s changed to reflect what you’ve done, because of course it has. You know what a character would say in any given situation, because you put them in it and they’re there, saying it. You at once have no real control over it, while being utterly tuned into it, to the point of omniscience. Being unable to access that part of yourself is suffocating.

The worst part is when you know that you’re the one choking yourself, but you have no idea how to stop. I know I’m home, everything is okay, so why don’t I feel like it? I could do this, before, I could feel this, before. Where has that feeling gone? Why can’t I remember?

In the midst of this whole transition, I’d slowly stopped doing things that connected me with those feelings. I stopped listening to much music because I had no time. I stopped taking walks because I was too tired and I didn’t know the area. I stopped going on long drives just to talk and listen to music with my husband, because gas is expensive and the tags on that car are expired (still). And, let’s be honest: I stopped taking the pain medication that made relaxing so I could get into that headspace a hell of a lot easier.

Somehow no single one of these faded habits seemed significant, and by themselves, they probably weren’t. But together, over time, the lack of these and other rituals I’d kept without thinking about it when I lived in NC had closed me off. Unused pathways in my brain became overgrown with other things, thoughts and worries, weeds and vines. When I moved, it wasn’t just the geographical scenery that changed. The landscape of my very neurons changed to cope with the stress, adapt to new social patterns at work, clear out space to make room for all the technical mumbo jumbo being shoveled at me.

The fact is, by the time the dust settled, my whole world had changed, inside and out. Even if I could have gone back to NC, it wouldn’t have mattered at all.

Realizing this was one of the most depressing, horrifying feelings. And the thing was? I knew better. Hell, I wrote a short story years ago that was exactly about this, about a character who had left home with the intent to return, but when he finally got the opportunity to try, too much had changed, about him and the world, to recover the serenity he’d left behind. Now I write about another character whose life changed the day he was separated from his sister, who, in the course of building himself up to be deserving of her again, disconnected himself from the vulnerabilities that had enriched his life and then forgot she even existed.

This is either obscenely ironic, or it’s absolutely, perfectly human (well, I think it’s both, really). How easily we convince ourselves that that closed road, that turn off into the woods, that slight change in trajectory is just a detour. We should know better. We do it anyway. That’s why is a horror trope.

I’ve been lost in those woods for years. I got out, just yesterday. I escaped because I was attacked by a monster. Something happened to me in those woods. I almost lost someone I loved. No, I don’t want to talk about it.

But it’s a fact that a side-effect of the event was to mark a definitive end to the endless transition. My life now is very different from what it was two days ago. No more limbo, no more waiting. Time has started again. It was necessary to tear up the brambles in my brain to free the gears and expose the roots of deeper things beneath.

Here’s what I learned, or rather, lived: everything changes. There is no going back, but the starting point, home and whatever that means to you, will always be there, somewhere, even if the roads you took to get there are thick with obstructing experiences. Those roads have roots in you, and those threads are how you’ll find your way.

If you do, by choice or chance, the home you’ll come back to will have changed, too, thrived or crumbled as you’ve allowed it. You may or may not want to linger; I imagine that would depend on the person. As for me, I feel incredibly lucky. I was welcomed in my dreams.

Not welcomed back. It’s not a question of being back. It’s being here, and knowing what you’re about. It’s accepting home for what it is: the embodiment of connection and definition. Roots and branches that enable everything you are to feel and breathe.

It’s easy to lose those magical taps, the points from which we draw inspiration and awe. If you find yourself cut off from them entirely, regardless where your life has taken you, you can die right there on the vine. I can’t tell anyone what feeds their soul, but I will say it’s worth learning what that is, and that no matter how quick of a detour you think you’re taking, you keep those things close to your chest. They’re what you’ll need to reach for, in the end.

Hello, again.

#personal #essay #home #ff8 #writing #longpost #long post #bonus!#find all the ff8 references #because i was SHAMELESS with them #early easter egg hunt

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