#probs having the worst low ever but i want to post still
Text
robot voices can bring more comfort sometimes
#vocaloid#len kagamine#rin kagamine#gumi megpoid#hatsune miku#megurine luka#meiko vocaloid#kaito vocaloid#kamui gakupo#fukase#utatane piko#oliver vocaloid#seeu#kasane teto#akita neru#probs having the worst low ever but i want to post still
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
ー ★ !! STRANGER
pairing : matt sturniolo x fem!reader
synopsis : having been dared to kiss a random stranger, you're the first person matt choses to approach
a/n : guys ive been needing to write another fic so badly that i got this prompt off of pinterest and i'm completely winging it (this is a cry for help. pls send reqs bc i'm running low atm.)
i hate how this is written & this is prob the worst thing i've done on this app but i need to post something so ur gonna read it anyway !
wc : 2.5k
nick, matt, chris, nate, and madi are currently on an expidition to the mall. they hardly ever hang out as a complete group, so everyones moods are sky rocketed from the simple fact of them all being together. it honestly doesn't matter what they're buying or where they are. they'll all have smiles on their faces regardless.
"i'm surprised nick isn't trying to record a video right now." chris says as the group enters a random clothing store. "it's one of the very few times we're all together and everyone is in good moods. nick would normally take advantage of that."
"just say you want to record and move on." matt grumbles, walking over to one of the racks to flip through the t-shirts on display.
"i don't want to record! i was saying nick probably would!" chris tries to defend himself, earning weird looks from everyone due to this very clearly being a lie. chris lets out a sigh when he realizes that nobody is believing him. "whatever. i'm just saying that i don't think we should waste the opportunity to make good content. the fans love nate and madi."
"woww," madi says sarcastically, feigning offence, "you're just using us for content?"
"oh, shut up." chris replies, dramatically rolling his eyes at her teasing. madi giggles and takes a sip from the cup of lemonade she got from lunch earlier today at the food court. everyone else already finished their drinks, she's the only one with anything leftover from the meal.
"i didn't bring the camera anyway." nick says with a careless shrug, causing chris's jaw to drop with shock. "i wanted this hangout to be authentic. just everyone laughing and smiling together as a group. no cameras. no new friends. just us."
"since when did you ever leave the house without your camera?" chris asks him with his jaw still hung loose on its hinges. "it's practically glued to your bag at all times."
matt finds himself zoning out of the conversation as he looks around at the clothes. their argument about recording is only relevant to him if they decide that they are going to record. otherwise, it's unimportant and frankly quite boring. and now that nick admitted that he didn't even bring the camera, the conversation is no longer of interest to him.
they continue to stay near the front of the store, nick and chris arguing about the camera predicament while nate and madi laugh at them from the sidelines. but matt strays away from the group. he has about eighty bucks he brought with the intent on spending it all today. well, at least half of it or more. so he begins to get distracted with the task of finding new clothes to add to his wardrobe.
he made a mental note before leaving the house that he wants more hoodies since the weather is started to get colder. knowing this, he wanders over to the back of the store. he's been here enough to know that there's a rack of jackets and long-sleeved shirts in the right corner beside the employee exit door.
matt flips through the clothing. he wants more bright colors in his closet. most of his hoodies are black or dark grey. nick said that his wardrobe looks like a funeral home and he needs something more lively. but nothing here seems to catch his eye.
"need help finding anything?" a random female voice asks him. he turns to face the sound and sees a worker standing to his left. you. and lets just say you definitely catch his eye — unlike any of the clothes you're selling. he likes the style of your hair, the color of your eyes, the shape of your face, the bridge of your nose, all of it.
damn! matt's never been this whipped for a random stranger. it's normal for him to find random girls attractive in public, but something about you is making him unable to take his eyes away yours.
"okay? i'll take that as a no." you say before turning on your heel and leaving. as soon as you walk away, matt feels the urge to call out and stop you, but he doesn't know your name. he was too busy admiring you to read the tag on your uniform.
he lets out a sigh before walking back across the store and rejoining the group, his mood now soured completely. when he walks up to his brothers, nick turns around with a camera in his hand, recording.
"what the hell?" matt says. "i thought you didn't bring it."
"he lied so he didn't have to film." chris says with an eye roll. "but i didn't believe him. so i dug through his backpack and guess what! i found it sitting on the very top, fully charged."
matt just nods, not having anything to say to that. plus, now that he's in a bad mood it's be best to stay away from the camera so his bitchiness doesn't ruin the video. he feels guilty for being like this while everyone else has such high spirits, but he can't help it. he embarassed himself in front of the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. there's no coming back from that.
the group exits the store and they begin to wander around. they're looking for a sunglasses store for nate so he can buy a new pair seeing as he broke his last ones while leaning out of the window of the van. the slipped off of his face — never to be seen again. but nate claims he needed new glasses anyway due to how old and scathed those ones were.
"you okay?" nate asks. the fact that he noticed matt's fatigue takes him by surprise. matt wants to continue sulking in his soured mood, but when he looks at nate's genuine worried expression, he can't help but confide in his friend about the events from earlier.
matt tells him about how he was looking for a jacket when you approached him. you came up so casually as though it meant nothing to you, when it meant everything to him. matt describes you, accentuating your beauty to paint the picture as well as possible. he tells nate that he feels like he's being dramatic, but he can't help it. i mean, you're a complete stranger whose name he doesn't even know. and yet he can't take his mind off of your guys's short interaction.
"i wish i had some wise words of advice for you, but i don't." nate says. "but judging just by the way you talk about her, you need to get her number or something. i've literally never heard you talk about a girl like that. you're fuckin' whipped, man."
"i agree." matt says. "but how the hell am i supposed to get her number when she's a literal stranger? i don't know anything about her."
"you know where she works." nate points out.
matt thinks about this for a moment before deciding that nate's right. he knows where you work and that's more than knowing nothing. someones job says a lot about them — how much money they make, what means a lot to them, etc. i mean, he's not the type of guy who gives a shit about your income, but if he wanted to know something about you, he could easily find out a lot.
"lets buy your sunglasses." matt says, confidence slowly overtaking him now that he doesn't feel like this whole thing is hopeless. "then, we can all go get a snack at the food court so i have some motivation to go talk to her."
nate agrees and hurries to catch up with the rest of the group. matt does the same, rejoining everyone now that his mood is boosted once again. they go to the glasses store and nate picks out a pair that he likes. the whole time, matt is back to normal. everyone notices the shift in his demeanor, but they decide not to point it out.
after nate purchases the glasses he chose, matt tells nick that he's hungry. madi agrees with matt, saying she could eat something seeing as it's been a few hours since they had lunch. not thinking much of it, nick agrees to go to the food court.
"fuck." chris says, sitting in the plastic chair beside matt. "i didn't know they had mozzarella sticks! if i'd known that, i would've gotten them too!"
matt just shrugs, eating another bite with a smug look on his face. chris shoots him a glare and scoffs, turning back to his cheesy fries with a frown. just as chris is about to insult matt, nick and madi come over to the table with their food. nick is still carrying the camera around, filming everything for their next blog. most of what he's filming will be edited out, but he's still taking the footage just in case.
as they all begin eating their food, nate — who had been using the bathroom for the past few minutes — comes back with a slushy and a small grin. he sits on the other side of matt with a weird look on his face. matt gives him a strange look and nate just giggles and looks away.
"i'm bored guys." nate says. "we should play truth or dare."
"okay." chris agrees easily. but nick shakes his head, not thinking this is a good idea. but chris insists. "c'mon, it'll be good content. plus we're not gonna do any stupid dares that will get us in trouble or anything."
when matt and madi take chris's side, nick has no choice but to give in play the game. his only condition is that he gets to ask chris first, and he has to pick dare. chris agrees to his terms.
"i dare you to say yes to everything i ask for the rest of the day." nick tells him with a sarcastic smile. chris rolls his eyes, but has no choice but to do as he says.
"can i go next?" nate asks excitedly. it's supposed to be chris's turn next since he was the one who did the dare, but nick answers dow him. he nods, letting nate go ahead. and chris can't argue since he has to say yes to whatever nick wants. nate grins widely and continues. "matt, truth or dare."
"dare." matt says without hesitation.
"i dare you to kiss a random stranger." nate tells him with a grin. "they have to be in the food court, though."
"what the fuck type of dare is that?" nick shouts. "we're not bringing random stranger into this! plus, isn't that against some kind of law? kissing random people can't be fucking legal."
matt is about to agree with nick, saying it's a horrible idea. but he notices nate flicking his eyes back and forth between matt and someone over his shoulder, gesturing for him to look at them. matt turns around and follows nate's gaze to find you sitting alone at a table. you're wearing your work clothes, sipping on a smoothie while scrolling through your phone.
matt changes his mind in an instant. "it's my dare, nick, not yours. so fuck off and play the game like everyone else."
with that, matt stands up from his seat, causing the legs to scrape against the tiled floor beneath it. he awkwardly approaches you with a giddy smile. god, he feels like an idiot. he feels like he went back in time to when he was a child, getting nervous to talk to literally any girl on the playground.
he stands in front of your table and clears his throat to get your attention. you look up at him and raise a brow in confusion. "mind if i sit down?" he asks, pointing to the chair beside you.
"go ahead." you tell him. you're still confused about who this guy is as he sits down at your table. he's attractive and seems sweet, but who is- oh. as he runs a can through his hair, you remember who he is. "you're the guy from the store. you were the one who stared at me instead of answering."
matt feels his cheeks heat with embarrassment. that's not the first impression he wanted to make. but at least you remember him! it's better than you not knowing who he was at all.
plus, you're not talking to him in a weird way. you're smiling as though you find his awkwardness amusing rather than strange — which it is.
"that's me." he says. matt glances over his shoulder at his friends only to see that they're all staring at you guys intently. chris waves him on, urging him to hurry the hell up.
"they're nosy." you say with a laugh. "i'm assuming they're your friends. otherwise, i'd be extremely creeped out."
"uh, yeah." matt says, looking away from chris to refocus on you. fuck. every time he looks at you, he's taken aback by your beauty. like time seems to slow when you guys make eye contact. "listen, they sent me over here as a dare. i'm supposed to kiss you."
you laugh at him for a second. but then you realize he's not kidding. he's being serious. "god, take me on a date first." you tell him sarcastically. matt laughs, but is still pretty serious about the dare. you feel weird agreeing to kiss a stranger, but it'd be even weirder if you were to say no.
not to mention, the boy beside of you is insanely attractive. it wouldn't be such a bad thing to kiss something this hot. "i'll let you kiss me if you agree to give me your number afterward." you tell him.
"i would have asked for it anyway." matt says with a teasing smile. knowing you have an interest in him as well gave matt a boost in confidence. and you honestly think that his confidence makes him even more attractive.
he leans forward and you do the same. you were expecting a small smooch the way little kids kiss at recess, but this guy went all in. he places one hand on the back of your head to tangle through your hair while the other hand cupped your cheek. the kiss was passionate and needy. and you fucking loved it.
when he broke it to catch his breath, you felt deprived of something more. you were practically craving this guy you met only a few minutes ago.
matt smirked at you before you guys exchanged numbers. you were still distracted by the fact that you guys nearly made out in the middle of the food court to process what was going on. as your confidence left, his was refilled.
"i'll come back to your shop before i leave the mall." matt says. "maybe next time i'll actually catch your name before we make out in the storage room."
@kasqnxx @lvrsparadise @prettysturniolo @strniolo @urmyslxt @cupidsturniolo @opheliaofficial07 @thetriplets3 @sturn1olo-ffics @uhnanix @deadxrx @kitaysworld @lovelysturniolo @wilmalovegood @ladylokilaufeyson5 @sturniolopepsi @strnilolo @knowingnothingnoel @its-jennarose @lea0518 @slaysturniolo @sturnlover @tcvazq @ifilwtmfc @poopydroopt @cl0esblogg @ellaynaa @itzdarling
#luvsturniolo!!#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#matt sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x reader
332 notes
·
View notes
Text
Riven: The Thesis
TW: ALLUSIONS TO AND MENTIONS OF CHILD ABUSE
First things First
If you checked out my Fate rant, smth that truly pissed me off was how they made Riven just straight up unlikable, an ass and low-key a villain.
To me, Riven’s story was always one about how you can change for the better. That it’s okay to be a bit of a prick as a teen cause you’re just a teen and you still have time to grow and change.
So you can imagine my frustration when in the OG, Riven’s character arc was pretty much reset at the start of every season, especially when I feel that they did a great job at showing Riven’s introspection and his wish to change in s1, all for nothing.
And thus… my version of Riven was born.
I tried very hard in s1 to give him a hard shell and a few outbursts but still showing that he’s got a soft heart deep down and is really only lashing out due to how he’s always depended on only himself to survive. And I think I did a pretty good job at that if I do say so myself.
And post s1 we see Riven slowly learn to lower his guard and realize that he’s not on his own anymore. He has a few slip ups because obvs he’s not gonna magically be great at communication but he gets there eventually.
Shirley Holmes and Riven Watson
So, I think that, aside from Tecna, Riven was prob the one that benefited the most story-wise in the changes I made to his family.
Riven has pretty much no one. His dad is very abusive and never truly cared for him and his mom left when Riven was about eight years old, leaving him not only on his own, but to take care of his five year old sister, Shirley.
I gave Riven a little sister to give him even more reasons to have his guard up, because it’s not just his own back he has to watch out for, but he has a sister that depends on him. Shirley herself tells the squad that Riven pretty much raised her on his own.
I love writing these two, who only had each other growing up and are so very close. Up until the age of fifteen, Shirley only ever really trusts her brother.
I think that dynamic adds a lot to Riven’s character. Showing that he is a really caring and protective person, even in the worst of circumstances he always did his best to keep Shirley not only safe but also happy.
Nothing Good Starts in a Getaway Car
Yep, we’re talking bout Darcy.
In my version of events, it would not have made sense for Riven to ever trust Darcy out of nowhere, due to how high he has his guard and the fact that he’s not dumb.
How did I chose to solve this?
Well… Darcy and Riven were childhood friends and had planned to runaway together before Darcy betrayed him, took the money and ran. He knew her as Jennie, his best friend.
Riven only ever had her. Of course he’s got Shirley but… it’s different cause Shirley is his responsibility, while Jennie helped him steal and do whatever they had to do to survive.
Their relationship is def a tragic one due to the fact that they truly loved each other and had each others backs for so long and they were oh so very close to making it, to running together and starting a new life.
But then… Darcy meets the Trix and makes the choice of leaving Jennie behind, which included betraying Riven when they’re fourteen and so close to running.
This is obvs another reason why Riven is especially prickly when we meet him in s1, a betrayal like that was bound to make him even more angry at the world.
But again, Riven is incredibly protective and, once he loves someone, that means he’s also loyal to them, and Riven isn’t someone who stops loving easily. And so… he trusts Darcy. And it nearly costs him his life.
But this is also the thing that truly makes him realize that he doesn’t want to keep on like this. That he wants to change and let his friends in. That he wants to let go of his anger before it consumes him the way it did Jennie… Darcy.
You Don’t Have to be Sorry, for Leaving and Growing Up (Matilda is low-key a Riven song)
A big thing for me about Riven, especially early on was, again, showing his softer side mainly through Flora, Shirley, Timmy and even Darcy.
His rougher side is on full display in his arguments with Sky.
At the end of s1, something happens that allows Riven to finally be safe enough to lower his guard and start growing, he moves in with his maternal grandparents along with Shirley. And, while it takes both of them a while to trust their grandparents, once they do, Riven can finally, finally, focus on himself for the first time in his life.
He develops a close relationship with his grandma, and starts doing some introspection (with help from Flora and Helia) and starts working on himself.
A big help in this is Musa, who also struggles a lot with letting herself be vulnerable.
Now, this journey of Riven’s is not smooth sailing because you can’t just snap your fingers and undo years of abuse and survival instincts, but he works hard on it and we can see that through his relationships.
Season 2 is Riven learning to be vulnerable and fully trusting his friends. His nicknames are kinda a way to let the squad know how important they are to him, he allows himself to be more goofy and more relaxed and comfortable in his own skin.
He struggles the most with Musa due to the fact that, before a relationship, there is a friendship. He and Musa find themselves being vulnerable with one another, which is huge for the two of them. But as they grow closer, Riven is reminded of his relationship with Darcy and finds himself pulling away.
He eventually makes this right but it was very important for me to have him stumble a bit in his relationship with Musa at least at the beginning cause my boy has Darcy PTSD kay? And that was not going to go smoothly if we’re realistic.
Season 3 was for Riven fully coming into his own, embracing what little magic he has (which he never did before cause he got his magic from his father that he hates so yeah…) and just fully getting a good grade in communication something that is both possible to achieve and normal to want.
In season 3 it’s mainly Musa who struggles with communication, which makes them both struggle but they work through it, this time as a couple. Wooooo. Hoorah for two traumatized kids learning how to communicate in a healthy way!
Thoughts Behind his Main Relationships
Helia
These boys are two sides of the same coin.
They both have had anger issues and, surprisingly enough, Helia was a lot more violent than Riven ever was since Riven had a better hold on his anger due to facing major consequences (*cough* *cough* his dad *cough* *cough*) but they bond over trying to better themselves.
Riven learns to meditate with Helia and occasionally even paints with him. Helia learns to fix stuff with Riven and they both love the routine that comes with being Specialists second only to Brandon so they often do work-outs and bets with each other.
Their friendship is one of very different yet similar lives. They get each other in a: we’ve both come face to face with the darkest versions of ourselves and came out on top, we’ve both hit rock bottom and we’re both working on figuring out how to be better.
They’re both very aware of their darker emotions but never judge the other for it. They both have nightmares regarding their pasts and they can open up because they know that they get one another.
Riven trusts Helia surprisingly quickly, seeing himself in the Wizard. The two can trust each other with their past and their shame, knowing they will only get full support from the other.
Musa
I always loved the idea of Rivusa but hated the original execution.
I really like the idea of two kids who have been so hurt by the people that were meant to protect them figuring out how to love each other. How to be open and trusting and just how to work as a couple.
Riven and Musa fall very slowly over the course of a year and a half, they get to know each other, be friends, quite crucially: they’re able to be vulnerable with each other. Which is huge for both of them.
And, when they realize that these feelings are serious and more than just a crush, they are both terrified.
I talk a bit more about Musa’s feelings on her thesis but for Riven, he’s terrified of being betrayed yet again. Of giving his heart just to have it shattered.
He’s also very afraid of Musa not wanting him if she learns more about his past and all the things he did to stay alive.
The part I love about this is that this means that even after they get together we get to see them fuck up. Because just because they’re together doesn’t mean they’re just going to forget years of trauma and having their walls up.
And, in my version, once they’re together, it’s Musa who fucks up by keeping secrets and not being able to bring herself to be vulnerable.
I think my fave part about writing these two is writing about how they grow together both as individuals and as a couple, how they learn to communicate and be vulnerable and realize that they are both here to stay and that this relationship is soft and safe and everything that they have been denied for so long.
That’s what this couple is to me. Two kids learning to love and not be afraid of it.
Flora
Riven and Flora are soulmates. I have no other word to describe their bond. Even soulmates doesn’t feel like it can fully encompass their bond and how important they are to one another.
They have similar fears and traumas, though they respond in wildly different ways. He can’t let himself be vulnerable, she can’t stand her ground. But they find each other and somehow, they start healing and growing together
Their bond is ‘there are people that you just have to meet in order to become the best version of yourself and I know that if I hadn’t met you I would never have been able to become my best self. There are people that just have something to teach you just by knowing them, there are people that love you so purely that you can do nothing but want to grow with them and teach each other so much just by existing together. And you know that if there are other lives, you’ve met them in every past life and will meet them in every future life because you own a piece of each others puzzles that you both need to complete yourselves.’
Their love is absolutely pure, I just love it and can’t quite find the words to describe just how special it is.
Who is Riven in this Rewrite?
Riven’s arc is one that I just have really loved to write. The story of an abused, angry boy that struggled to survive finally being safe and getting to work on himself and let go of that anger.
Riven is someone who has had to look out for himself his whole life, who always been pretty much on his own, the only people he trusted stabbing him in the back.
What is most important to me is that Riven is someone who refuses to let his past define him.
He gets the chance to go to Red Fountain after jumping and trying to rob one of the teachers (James) but, when he gets that chance, he decides to make the most of it, to make a good life for both himself and for his sister.
At his very core, the most important part of Riven’s character is that he is first and foremost, a protector.
He’s the big brother who took beatings to keep his baby sister safe. He stole for his sister and for Darcy to keep them both fed. He’s the boy who, before s1 even started made a friendship with Timmy and dared anyone to make fun of him.
He would do anything for his friends, for Helia, for Flora, for Musa and of course, for Shirley. Because once he gives even a small piece of his heart to someone, they have it for good. For better or for worse.
Riven is a boy growing into an amazing young man against all odds. He’s a boy who took the cards he was dealt with and made a royal flush.
Riven is someone who chose to let go of his anger and grow. He’s someone who decided to become someone he could be proud of.
——————
Masterlist
Riven Moodboard
Riven’s Instagram
Riven and Helia Moodboard
Riven and Musa Moodboard
Riven and Flora Moodboard
Shirley Moodboard
#winx club#winx rewrite#winx#winx headcannon#winx fanfic#winx headcanons#winx riven#winx rivusa#rivusa#winx musa#riven#riven x musa#winx headcannons#winx club rewrite#veiled wings and shattered panoramas
99 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sugar (Outlaw 2) 18+
♡ Pairing: Cowboy/Outlaw!Changbin x Fem!Reader
♡ Genre: wild west au, cowboy/outlaw au, porn with plot
♡ Word Count: 7.5k (i got carried away lmao)
♡ Summary: Despite how terrible of an idea it is, Y/N can't seem to stop herself from continuously going back to the outlaw she let defile her. This is a sequel, and you can read part 1 here !
♡ Warnings: strong language, changbin is still mean and condescending in a "nice" sort of way. not as dubcon as part 1 but it is still a major theme, references to guns and gun fights, bounty hunters, and death + murder, discussions about morality + having a morally gray sense of right and wrong, discussions on purity and being impure / tainted / a "whore" (remember that this is a historical setting, and those views don't hold up! your worth as a person is not measured by purity and sex), their relationship is probs toxic lmao
♡ Smut Warnings (contains spoilers): references to part 1 and other past dubcon situations, petnames (darlin, sugar, sweetheart, good girl, baby. reader is also refered to as a toy once but not outwardly called one), power play, oral (f+m receiving), fingering (f receiving), orgasm denial, dacryphilia, unprotected piv, creampie
♡ Notes: a sequel to Outlaw that no one asked for but i was compelled to write :') as usual, if you’re interested you can check out my fic rec and feedback blog @stray-dreams !
♡ Disclaimer: please read responsibly, and remember that this work is fiction and meant strictly for imaginative fun. the idols used in fics are more accurately faceclaims and personality outlines for imaginary characters, and should not be interpreted as factual representations of existing people.
no first paragraph before read more because it goes straight into a dubcon discussion and i don't want anyone who would be bothered to accidentally see it! <3 just click the read more and enjoy !
You really should know better. You should know it’s a bad idea to keep going back to the outlaw who violated you, who treated you like a toy, who’s sense of morality was gray at best and entirely nonexistent at worst. How foolish must you be to continually make the same mistake over and over again? To return to the man who treats you as an object suited to his needs and entertainment?
Yes, you really should know better. And yet, here you are again, with the object of your fury and desire standing before you with that signature smirk and amused glint in his eye. Because despite everything, you find yourself addicted to him. You seek him out, again and again, unable to resist no matter how much the rational part of your brain screams at you not to.
The first time you met him again following that fateful first encounter was by coincidence. Changbin had strolled into your town as the sun hung low in the horizon, tying his horse to one of the many hitching posts outside your family’s saloon before entering. You didn’t notice him right away, much too busy serving drinks to the men on the opposite end of the bar from where he sat, but once your gaze finally reached his..
You froze completely, eyes wide and breath halted. His brow raised when yours eyes met, a delighted glint in his eye as his famous smirk overtook his features. Your mind and heart were racing, grappling between what you should do and how you will look if you make a scene out of him being here. He didn’t intend to stumble upon you here when deciding to settle in town for the night, but by God, was he glad this was the place he chose.
He had noticed you first evidently, and was just waiting for the moment when you’d notice him too. And it was amusing seeing you so disconcerted by his presence, your strong persona faltering the minute he entered your space. He knew where your safe space was now, knew where you called home and where to come find you if he ever so chose to. You, the timid rabbit ensnared in a trap, and Changbin, the deadly hawk ready to devour.
You had to get it together, had to proceed as normal if you didn’t want someone else taking notice of your odd behavior and asking questions. If you were in your right mind, you could probably think of an appropriate excuse to why you were pushed off kilter, but Changbin left you anything but in your right mind.
“What can I get you tonight, sir?” You said after taking a brief moment to steady yourself. The entire exchange of looks the two of you shared likely lasted mere seconds in reality, but it felt like an eternity. He smiled, a mischievous one that did your racing heart no favors, before he answered, “A bourbon, if ya please.”
The night continued as normal for a time following that, with Changbin acting as a surprisingly well behaved bar patron. Though, the only reason he was well behaved was because his eyes were fixed on you. He watched in delight as you wrangled in rowdy patrons and ducked advances from drunken men left and right. It was fun for him; watching you in your element like that, navigating the clamorous saloon with ease and redirecting trouble with a well practiced stern sweetness. Even your rejections to your patrons were sweet, almost sickeningly so; batted eyelashes, rehearsed apologies and excuses, with empty promises of a ‘next time.’
Eventually it came time for the saloon to close, with locals shuffling through the streets back to their homes while guests from out of town had to decide whether or not they’d be paying for a room to sleep off the drink in. And it’s during that time that Changbin finally caught you alone, the door to one of the saloon’s secluded storage cupboards left ajar after you entered the room.
You were just following your nightly routine, checking what stock you had left and taking note of what you’d need to get more of before the week’s end, when you heard the subtle squeak of boots behind you. “Hey there, darlin’,” he smiled as he closed the door behind himself, stepping closer to you after the lock clicked.
“Changbin-,” your voice came out in a stern whisper, unconsciously taking a step back as he moved closer, though there wasn’t far for you to go in the small space, “Get out.” “Now, now,” he tuts, feigning disappoint as he takes another step forward, further closing the gap between you, “is that any way to treat a payin’ guest?”
“Regardless of that, you still aren’t allowed in here,” you scowled, but his grin didn’t falter; if anything, it grew larger, gratified by the brave front you were putting on. If it were with anyone else, your bravery wouldn’t be a front at all, because you certainly are a brave woman- just not with Changbin. With him, you’re weak, your spark diminishing the instant his eyes fall on you. And you’ll fight it, of course you will, but when all is said and done, you will give in. Because that’s just the effect he has on you.
“If you’d rather we do this out in the hall, I’m fine with that,” he challenged you, knowing very well that’s the last thing you’d want. His hand reached up to your neck, pushing your hair behind your shoulder and exposing your neck. “It’s a shame the marks have faded,” he said, voice low as his fingers traced your skin, “what do ya say we bring ‘em back, hmm?”
“Absolutely not,” you hissed, your hands landing on his shoulders as you tried to push him away from you. He stood firm despite your pushing, letting out a low chuckle as his fingers moved from your neck to your shoulder, and down the length of your torso. And to be fair, you weren’t actually using your full strength; you were holding back, and he could tell.
He’s familiar with how a woman who's desperate to get away will react- screaming, hitting, clawing; none of which is what you’re doing. And maybe that would make sense if you were the sort of person who’s fight or flight instinct was to freeze instead, but you're not. You’re brave, you fight, you don’t let men get the better of you.
So why is it that when it’s Changbin putting you in this situation, you easily relinquish control? Why were your attempts to put up a fight so feeble, as if you want to let him overpower you? The answer to that question is clear- the biting words and scornful looks doing little to hide the glimmer that hides underneath. You want him. And if you weren’t ready to admit that to yourself yet, he’d help you see it.
He brought his face close to yours, foreheads just barely touching, the scent of bourbon strong on his breath. The saloon had grown quiet with the closing of the bar and guests retiring to their rooms, and it made you wonder if Changbin could hear how hard your heart was beating. Your eyes were looking to the side, avoiding his piercing gaze.
Eyes that looked straight through you, eyes that uncovered your deepest, darkest desires with ease, eyes that left no room for secrets or lies. Those were the kind of eyes Changbin had, and he used the power they held to his advantage with you. You can’t hide from him; his eyes strip you bare, leaving you as transparent as glass.
Whether you admitted to your desires or not, he’d be the winner. If you gave in right away, confess that he filled you with an impulsive need you previously thought impossible, he’d take pride in the fact that he made you that way. And if you fought, if you denied and rejected, you’d grant him satisfaction when you inevitably crumbled to his touch. Either option left you the loser, because he knows he’s right, and there’s no escaping it.
A one-sided stalemate, where the victor was already predetermined. Your fate unavoidable, Changbin’s hold on your senses undeniable. He has you, and that's why you couldn't look at him. Because no matter how hard you denied it, the truth would be apparent. Much to your dismay, he sees you for who you are- try as you might, there would be no hiding it.
“Look at me, sugar,” he said as his hand hiked up your dress. He wanted to see the expression you held, wanted to see how far your self determination had fallen. Whether it was a look of submission this early on, or a look of pure contempt, it wouldn’t matter; because either way, there’s fun for him to have with you.
“What do you want from me?” you asked with eyes squeezed shut, voice beginning to tremble as his hand rubbed between your thighs. You’re not even sure why you asked, entirely; you knew this was nothing but a game for him, an addictive cat and mouse. He’s in it for the pleasure, for the thrill of making you crumble to his whims- it was as simple and clear as that.
“Oh, darlin,” he cooed as he leaned his head further down, lips brushing against your ear, “you already know what I want.” Fuck. He could see goosebumps erupting on your skin, noticed the way you instinctively tried to close your legs together, though his hand instantly stopped the act from happening. Fun, he thinks. Toying with you is so fun.
“I want you,” Changbin continued, bringing his other hand to your face and forcing you to look back at him. “I want you pinned down underneath me. I want to hold you by the throat while I fuck you. I want to watch you become stupid from my cock.”
Oh, God. Your face was on fire, heart bursting out of your chest, hopelessly ensnared by him; caught in a trap you had no hope of escaping from unscathed.
“I’m not going to let you do that,” you managed to say without stuttering, a feeble attempt to stand your ground, though the proverbial floor to stand on no longer existed. But with his hand nestled between your legs, you couldn’t hide the way your body reacted to his words; couldn’t hide the way arousal pooled in your underwear. Once again, your body has betrayed you.
“Is that right?” he grinned as he spoke, the amusement in his voice clear. He knew you’d let him have you, but the fact that you were denying it makes things much more exciting. “I don’t think that’s true, sugar,” Changbin said, now directly rubbing over your soaked underwear, “I think you’ll let me do anything I want.. I think ya want me just as bad as I want you.”
He was right, of course. Maybe you’d hide it for a time, but you won’t be able to resist for long. He’s frustratingly smug and assured, but it’s not without reason. Your self respect, your dignity, your purity- what had become of it? In blatant terms, it’d been ruined- forever marred by his touch, the damage to your body and mind irreparable. And whatever you could reclaim from what was left has been forever tarnished by your own actions. Tainted by your desire for the man in front of you, your thirst forever unquenchable, the very sanctity of your being in the hands of a criminal.
And in the end, he fucked you right there, in the small, tucked away storage cupboard, with your back against the wall, and legs around his waist. His strength held you up, his arms hooked under your own and supporting all of your weight, your desperate noises muffled only by clamping your hands over your mouth.
He made regular visits to the town after that, becoming a loyal regular of the saloon, charming staff and other patrons alike with his wit and allure. It was infuriating watching him play the role of a simple wanderer looking for work, his true nature and motives known only to you. No one else seemed to know what lied underneath the charming front. The worst kind of man, a manipulator through and through, a deviant who beckoned you to his room in the late hours of the night, the proprietor to a secret affair not yet uncovered by those around you.
However, he couldn’t hide his identity forever; his past actions eventually caught up to him when a gang of bounty hunters began to sweep the area with wanted posters in hand, eager to collect the reward for the head of Seo Changbin. He left town in a blaze of smoke and gunfire, shooting back at anyone who dared follow him.
You were relieved at first, knowing that Changbin couldn’t return without instigating a fierce gun fight for his life. But as the weeks passed, a gnawing feeling began to eat away at your chest. The bounty hunters moved on, carried by the promise of wealth further west, and yet Changbin hadn’t returned to town. And that was a good thing- or at least, it was supposed to be.
Did you.. Miss him? No, that was impossible. Completely unfeasible, utterly out of the realm of possibility. That’s what you told yourself, but the gnawing feeling doesn’t recede in the slightest; if anything, it grew stronger with each passing day. Did you really want to see Changbin again? No, it had to be the hormones talking- surely you weren’t actually hoping to see him again. He twisted your beliefs and made you confused, that’s all; you could recover from this with time.
But you’d been thinking a lot lately about what made Changbin different from the bounty hunters that hunted him, and you came to the conclusion that they weren’t much different in the end; they went wherever money and women called to them, a penchant for violence ingrained in the very essence of their actions. The only difference between them and Changbin was that he didn’t live under false pretenses or a faux sense of morality; he knew exactly who he was, and he didn’t pretend to be anything different in front of you.
And can you call yourself morally superior when at the end of the day you are still taking a life in exchange for money? Can you really say that one sin justifies another? Is it okay to kill someone if that person was in the wrong first? You didn’t think about these things until you met Changbin, and if you were being honest with yourself, you didn’t know where you stood anymore on whether or not someone like him deserved to die.
You found yourself questioning the people you used to applaud, and wondering if you were really as good of a person as you thought you were. Maybe these complicated feelings always lied within you, and all it took to bring them out was meeting the right person.
No, it was all Changbin’s fault that you’ve begun to feel this way. He warped your thoughts and desires, he made you doubt what you once held firm to, he’s bad for you.
But even so, knowing he’s bad for you, knowing that he makes you act irrationally, knowing that he triggers your deepest impulses, you are here again. Back in the place you first met him, the place you once called home, surrounded by the ghosts of your past, of the person you were before you met him.
“So we meet again, darlin’,” he said when your figure first emerged in his doorway, tense frame instantly relaxing when met with the sight of you, hand falling from its readied position on his gun holster. You are no threat to him, hungry for his touch as you are. Any threat from you would ring hollow, because for better or worse, he knows you. And you're certainly capable of a lot of things, but fighting against your basest desires doesn’t seem to be one of them.
You stepped inside fully, trying to have a nonchalant air about you, though you’re sure Changbin was able to see through it. He always reads you easily, always takes notice of even the most minute of changes in your body language. You’re sure that even now, he can sense the subtle shy anxiety that wells under the surface. But regardless, you’re here now, having come too far to retreat at the last minute.
And you know that he knows what it is you want, knows why you are here, but should you still be honest? Debase yourself by admitting your most carnal of desires? But at this point, what were you if not tarnished? Your worth can’t go any lower than it already is- you were already brought to your lowest point, so what was the harm in indulgence? If you were already ruined, why shouldn’t you disregard all you’ve ever been taught, all you ever thought you knew, and let him devastate you?
But no, you can’t do that. It would be too easy, and if there’s anything you’ve learned about Changbin, it’s that he doesn’t like easy. He wants you to stand your ground, he wants you to argue and fight against everything he says and does. He wants your eyes angry, for your voice to tremble with indignation, because it’ll make it that much better when he dismantles you.
He wants to be the object of your ire, for your resentment to build to the point of eruption, only for it to be eclipsed by how good it feels when he fucks you. Whether or not you truly hate him is up for debate at this point, and ultimately doesn’t matter much. What does matter is the fun you grant him, the cat and mouse game culminating into a moment that can only be described as pure bliss.
“I know, I know. Ya want me to fuck you, don’t ya darlin’?” He smiles as he says it, anticipating what your reaction will ultimately be. A glare maybe, with your face hot and red, or mousy as you finally admit openly how bad you want him. While the looks of animosity are his favorite, he likes the shy looks too; the timid expression on your face when he catches you off guard, a quick glimmer of embarrassment or sheepishness before you can conjure your antipathy to replace it.
“No. I want to fuck you. And you’ll let me,” you say, hoping to come across as confident and stern, “You’ll do whatever I want you to do.” “Oh? Is that right?” Changbin lets out a laugh, head tilting as he grants you another amused look. That’s certainly a surprise, but he’s not opposed to it. He can easily do that- give you a taste of control, that is. It’s an interesting proposition; a fun one.
He can let you believe you’re the one in charge, that you have the power to make the rules and that he’ll follow them. And maybe he will follow them- to an extent, of course. He’ll give you his ‘yes, ma’am’s’ and ‘whatever ya say, darlin’ ‘s, play the role of the obedient man cursed to follow your whims, hit you with tongue-in-cheek remarks and let you ‘tame’ him with harsh looks and biting words when he steps out of line. All so that in the end, when he easily takes all the control away from you, it’ll be that much sweeter.
It’s a fun game you’re offering him, so he’ll play the hell out of it. “Sure, sweetheart. You’ve been a good girl for me, I can give ya a reward,” Changbin smirks as he says it, clearly not taking you seriously in the slightest. But that’s okay, because you didn’t expect him to; you knew any attempt to wrestle control would be met with an amused smirk, you knew that none of your harsh words would do anything but fuel his delight.
The reason you’re doing this isn’t to try and gain some sense of control that you know you won’t be granted, and you don’t intend to make him genuinely submit to you; it’s just part of the game between you, and you’re doing your part to make it the most enjoyable it can be. Because if you’re addicted to Changbin, if you can’t escape the way his touch makes you feel, if you can’t get past the need and craving for him, then you need to make him just as addicted to you.
Just as your thoughts are consumed by him, you want his to be consumed by you. Think of only you, crave only you, make it so that no one else in the world can compare. You want to be the first person, the only person, he goes to when he wants to fuck, you want to be the drug in his veins, you want to eat away at his self-control the same way he eats away at yours.
Changbin could easily fight against your touches, stand firm in place and overpower you if he so chooses, but he’s letting you push him to his knees. “Oh, this is what you want?” he asks with his usual smirk, his hands already moving under your dress to squeeze at your thighs. “You could’ve just asked, sweetheart. I’ll do it if you ask me nicely.”
You roll your eyes, letting a scoff escape your lips. The only way he’d listen to a request from you is if he relentlessly teased and embarrassed you first. You can easily picture the way he’d grin at you, and the condescending tone and words he’d use to make your fists tremble and skin flush. Yes, even if you asked nicely, begged sweetly, or even desperately, he’d use it to ruin you.
“I’m not asking,” you say as you pull your dress up and over your head, tossing it to the floor beside you, because if Changbin is going to be between your legs, you want a full view of it. Rather than act though, he stays completely still, looking up at you with a lifted brow and not at all subtle smirk, as if to challenge you. A look that says ‘aren’t you going to make me?’
You bring your hand to his hair, tugging roughly as you pull him closer to your center, commanding him to get started. “So pushy, are you always this needy?” he teases with a laugh, but adheres to your demand nonetheless, wasting no time in letting his tongue out to lap at you, his hands now squeezing your thighs rougher than before.
Your previous affairs were a secret you held close to your chest, as you knew you’d be branded a “whore” if it was known you’ve had sex whilst unwed. That being said, you’d only done the act with those you had serious interest in. Sweet men, who treated you like an angel, with the utmost care and consideration. Careful touches and soft kisses that were carried through all interactions with you.
When they ate you out, they did so sweetly, with slow kitten licks and gentle caresses to your thighs. And it was nice, you even thought you liked it at the time, but you know that’s not what you want now. Everything about Changbin is different from every other man you’ve been with, and you want this moment to be different too. You want him to devour you, to make a mess of you, to make you feel a pleasure so foreign and intense that it consumes you.
And that’s exactly what he grants you- a pleasure so explosive you have to bite your lip to hold back the noises that threaten to leave you. The drag of his tongue can only be described as euphoric, and when his lips wrap around your clit and suck, you can’t help but let out a loud, shuddering gasp. You want to keep watching him, but you can’t- your eyes refuse to stay open, the pleasure much too intense to do anything else.
He can tell you’re close when your thighs start twitching, quick breathy pants and whines leaving you freely. And that’s when he gets an evil idea- an idea that will make you desperate and whiny, one that will rip any semblance of control out from your hands and place it back into his. A strong suck on your clit, a few quick flicks of his tongue, your body trembling as your mind screams close, close, close-
And in an instant the feeling is gone, all the built up pleasure receding into nothing. A frustrated whine leaves your lips, looking down to see Changbin staring back at you with that stupid fucking smile he has every time he successfully drives you crazy. “F-Fuck, you fucking asshole, you-” you prattle off insults, though the act does nothing but add to the satisfaction he feels; this is exactly the reaction he was hoping for.
You move your hand to the back of his head, pushing him back to where you want him and demanding that he keep going. And to your surprise, he does, though not without a muffled snicker first. And if your mind wasn’t so clouded by the desire to cum, you might have realized what his intentions were by going back in without a fight, but you didn’t have the mental capacity for that any longer. All you knew is that you wanted, needed, to release all over his tongue.
Changbin goes through the same motions as before, expertly building you up to your release, getting you so, so close, before pulling away again right before you can. Another frustrated, high pitched whine leaves you, hips stuttering in an effort to feel something, anything to bring your release to you. You look down at him again, eyes glossy from the tears welling in them, and fuck, that look really does it for him. The pretty look of aggravation mixed with desperation makes his cock impossibly hard.
You try to push him to your center again, but this time he resists, staying firmly in place and watching the way your expression twists into one of near anguish with an amused satisfaction. “Changbin-” your voice doesn’t come out anywhere near as stern and commanding as you wish it to; instead, his name leaves you as an urgent, desperate mewl. “Aww, poor thing. Ya gonna cry?” he mocks you, head tilted and an infuriating grin plastered on his face.
Fuck. You knew it wouldn’t be long until Changbin flipped the script and put you back at his mercy, but this soon? And he didn’t know whether you were genuinely vying for control or not, if you went into this with the intent to fight until the bitter end or if you were resolved to relinquish it after some time; what he did know is that he loved seeing you like this. Broken almost, resolve crumbled like a sand castle hit by a wave, so weak and ruined, all because of him.
“Want me to keep going?” he asks in a tone that is almost sickeningly sweet, another twisted smile of satisfaction on his face. You nod frantically, a shameless display of your need, and he smirks, answering your reaction with a condescending, “Why should I?” Another whine, hot tears rolling down your cheeks as indignation and desperation eat away at you.
Changbin coos when he sees the tears fall, another “poor thing” leaving him. Funny how he’s the one on his knees, yet is the one entirely in control. You beg wantonly now, countless utterances of “please” and “i need it”, all sense of restraint and shame seeming to have evaporated the moment your tears began to fall. The display makes his cock throb in his trousers, erotic beyond words, utterly enthralling and so pretty.
“Shh, that’s enough darlin’,” he says as he takes one of your legs and guides it over his shoulder, fully ready to support your weight and keep you standing for what he plans to do next. You keen when his tongue finally makes contact with you again, body shuddering as your head lolls back. One arm snakes around the leg not propped up on him, squeezing at the flesh within his reach, while the other moves between your thighs, fingers prodding at your entrance for just a moment before sliding easily inside.
He gives you no time to adjust to the thickness of his fingers, setting a fast pace with them from the very start. Your eyes roll back, a cacophony of lewd noises filling the space as your high quickly builds back up for the third time. Between the earlier denied orgasms, the relentless pace he’s setting now with his fingers and the way his lips feel wrapped around your clit, you’re already dangerously close.
Your fingers tangle in his hair, both as a means to ground yourself and to keep him as close to you as possible; and it only takes a few more thrusts of his fingers and flicks of his tongue to send you over the edge. You cum hard, Changbin’s body and hold on your leg being the only thing keeping you upright as the waves of pleasure course through you. Your eyes are squeezed shut, your entire body shaking, with the only noise you’re capable of making being sharp gasps as your release spills on his tongue and fingers.
You sink to the floor when he moves back and lets you go, legs akin to jello and no longer able to support your weight after having what was easily the most intense orgasm of your life. Your eyes are still closed, breathing labored as you try to bring your mind back down to earth. Changbin meanwhile rises to his feet, being the one to look down at you now.
It’s a pretty sight; your chest heaving as you try to catch your breath, tear stains on your cheeks and body flushed. But it could still be prettier, and he knows exactly how he wants to achieve that look. “Open your eyes, sweetheart,” you hear Changbin’s voice call to you from above, and when you do you’re met with quite the sight.
His cock is in one of his hands, trousers having fallen to the floor around his ankles. You must have been too lost in your haze to hear him unzip his pants, or to hear the sound of his belt buckle hitting the floor. You look up at his face next, taking in the expectant gaze he’s shooting at you.
You’re half tempted to say no, to make a big show out of protesting and coax him to put you back in your place, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t want his cock in your mouth right now. It’s not often you’re granted the pleasure of sucking him off, as he usually he goes straight into fucking you after he’s done with his merciless teasing- so you’ll play the good girl role, just this once.
You shift to be fully on your knees, opening your mouth wide for him and letting your hands rest on his thighs. He brings a hand to the back of your head, pushing you the rest of the way when you hesitate, ensuring you take the entirety of his length in your mouth in one go. You gag when the tip touches your throat, but Changbin’s hand holds you in place, preventing you from instinctively retreating.
The way you're looking up at him through your lashes, eyes glossy with fresh, unshed tears and nose touching his pubic bone- it’s enough to drive him wild. But he won’t lose it just yet; he’ll grant you a small kindness by giving you a few moments to adjust, to familiarize yourself with the feeling of his cock down your throat and learn how to breathe through it. He can’t let his favorite toy completely suffocate on him, after all.
He sets a brutal pace once he’s sure you’re adjusted, sparing your poor throat no mercy. You can barely even hear the low groans he lets out over the salacious sounds leaving your mouth and throat. It’s a struggle not to choke and sputter every time he thrusts back into your mouth, and each failed attempt causes the tears on your lashes to spill over.
The saliva that has pooled in your mouth escapes out of the sides, sliding down your chin and dripping onto your chest. You can’t help but squirm as he holds your head in place, your nails digging into his thighs as you try your hardest to ignore the growing ache in your jaw and effectively breathe through your nose. You can feel his cock twitch against your tongue as his pace becomes the slightest bit more sporadic, and for a moment you think he intends to cum down your throat, but he doesn’t.
He pulls out instead, a subtle smirk on his face as he watches you take big, gulping breaths to allow air back into your lungs. You wipe your face clean with the back of your hand before you look up at him, knowing he’s far from done with you. He takes you in his arms, helping you rise to your feet (though you doubt he’s helping you due to any sort of caring, and is only doing it to get you where he wants you faster.)
“Come with me, darlin’,” he says as he leads you to the bed with him, paying no mind to the unsteadiness in your legs as you try to keep up with his pace. Changbin sits first, pulling you onto his lap immediately after. You already know what he wants, but you can’t- your knees ache from the time spent on the hard floor, and the usual strength in your legs has all but evaporated.
“Bin-” you start to whine, complaints lingering on your lips, but he tuts before you can even begin to speak them. “What’s wrong, sugar? Didn’t ya say you wanted to fuck me?” Fucking asshole, throwing your words back at you and looking at you with that devilish smile. He should know you weren’t even that serious about it! He’s just being cruel. “I can’t, I-”
“You can,” he interrupts, guiding you to align yourself with him, “You will.” His hands are holding your hips, another expectant look on his face as he waits for you to sink down on him. “You’re so fucking mean-” you cry, body trembling as you lower yourself onto his cock. He just grins, knowing very well that if you truly hated how mean he was, you wouldn’t have crawled your way back to him.
Your pace isn’t all that fast given the ache in your knees, but contrary to what you’d expect, Changbin doesn’t scold you. Instead, he cups your face under the chin, directing you to look at him. “So sweet, aren’t ya sugar?” he smiles, thumb rubbing your cheek while his other hand stays firmly on your hip, “such a brat sometimes, but you do whatever you're told in the end, don’t ya? Such a good girl when ya want to be, huh?”
You should be ashamed of the way his words fill your stomach with butterflies, but you truly can’t help it. He knows what he’s doing too; knows how to drive you absolutely crazy, knows how to be mean in just the right way, so that when a praise hits your ears it affects you all the more.
However, despite your best effort, you can’t get your legs to cooperate with you any further. Your legs feel so heavy, and having your hands firmly placed on Changbin’s chest for support does nothing to ease the unsteady trembling. It’s a subtle sort of humiliation- making you do something he knows is near impossible in your current state.
The tears are welling in your eyes again and threatening to spill, frustration in your gut and exhaustion completely taking over your body. Your legs throb from the exertion and fatigue, your energy beyond spent, you can’t keep going. Your pace slows to a near stop, and you look at him pleadingly, teary eyed and pouty, a silent beg for his help.
He knew you wouldn’t be able to do it for long, but he made you do it anyway, because this is what he really wanted. He wanted to watch you turn into a pathetic, whining mess, he wanted to relish the look of anguish on your face. He has to be cruel to you, because the end result is always so addicting.
“Tell me what you need, baby. Need my help? Need me to fuck you?” he smiles sweetly as he asks, wiping a stray tear from your cheek. You nod quickly, leaning into his touch that shouldn’t at all be comforting but somehow is in your near-delirious state. “Use your voice, sweetheart. I gotta hear you say it.”
God, he loves when you get to this point- where all anger and shame has been replaced by the overwhelming desire and need you feel for him. You’re babbling out pleas over and over, and he takes a moment to savor the sound of it before shushing you. “Hush now, darlin’, I’ll give ya what you want.”
He flips your positions easily, you landing on your back against the mattress and Changbin now hovering over you. You stare up at him as he sinks back into you, the sight of him making your heart race. It’s infuriating how handsome he is, especially in moments like this, where sweat lingers on his brow and his jaw clenches.
Changbin is good at acting unaffected by you, always able to make it seem like he’s not at all enthralled or addicted, always making your need for him appear one-sided. But the truth is he needs you just as bad as you need him, because in you he has finally found his perfect match. You wanted him to crave you solely, to look for you and only you, not knowing that he already was.
He didn’t seek you out all those times after your lucky re-encounter because it was easy or convenient; it’s because it was you, specifically. He’s no stranger to brothels and bordellos, nor to the coy advances of working women. There are countless women in the world, countless establishments he could spend his coin at to satiate himself, but they weren’t you. All he wants and all he needs, the very picture of perfection, you.
He leans down, capturing your lips in a sensual kiss as he starts to thrust in earnest, and the act makes your stomach twist. He’s kissed you before of course, but only ever with the intent to tease or humiliate you, and never while his cock was inside you. And you don’t know why, but it feels good. He can tell you like it too, by the way you clench around him, and from the way a pleasured noise he’s never heard before leaves your throat.
He keeps his lips attached to yours, tongues sloppily rubbing together. His fingers dig into your hips as he fucks into you, his tight hold leaving indentations behind in your skin. Changbin curses under his breath when he pulls away, both of your highs quickly approaching. You’re squeezing him so tight, and the feeling of your nails digging into his skin is intoxicating.
“Fuck, ‘m so close-” he groans, pace quickly becoming more sporadic. And this is normally the point he’d pull out, letting his cum spill between your thighs or onto your chest and stomach, but.. He looks at you, and all he can think about is how you’re his. He wants no one else to have you, no one else to touch you, no one to even look at you the way he does.
So instead, he pulls you in even closer, your chest firmly pressed into his as he presses his lips to your ear. “Gonna cum in you darlin’. You’d like that, right? Want me to fill you up?” You gasp at his words, one that transitions into a moan as your arms and legs wrap snuggly around him. It’s a bad fucking idea, but you want it so bad.
Whatever the consequences are, you’re too far gone to care about them. You want him to claim you in all ways; his teeth, his nails, his cum- it didn’t matter, so long as you were his in the end. “Y-Yes, please, I want it,” your answer comes out between shuddering inhales, desperate and eager for Changbin to release inside you.
It only takes a few more thrusts for him to spill inside you, the sensation of his cum shooting in you both foreign but good beyond what you ever could’ve imagined. His hips don’t stop moving even as he cums, and the continued thrusts paired with the feeling of being filled up for the first time sends you over the edge too, body convulsing in his hold as pure pleasure fills your senses.
You’re both breathless when you finally come down from your high, body going limp as you release Changbin from your hold. He pulls out slowly, and fuck, the sight of his cum dripping out of your hole is utterly intoxicating; he’s definitely going to become addicted to it. He lies next to you when he’s done admiring the view, looking at your face next with a subtle smile.
“What do ya think about being my lady? Hmm, baby?” he asks as he pulls you in, pressing your body into his as his arm wraps around your waist. You blink as you process it, a sort of warmth overtaking your body as the question settles in you. “...are you serious?” you can’t help but ask, unsure if this is going to transition into some sort of tease if you say yes or if the question is genuine.
“Dead serious, darlin’,” Changbin answers easily, his smile the most earnest you’ve ever seen it to be. Not at all condescending, no trace of a humiliating remark waiting to be said; he’s simply asking you a question, with nothing more beyond it. And he wouldn’t say it’s love that drives him to make you his, because genuine love is a foreign thing to a man like him, but this is likely the closest he’ll ever get. He just wants to know you’ll always be there, that you’d follow him anywhere he goes, that no matter where life takes the two of you, you’ll belong to him and he’ll belong to you.
And fuck, it’s a really bad idea. You really, really shouldn’t- you should know better. So why are you entertaining the idea? Why does the thought of spending your days with someone so objectively terrible make you so happy? He’s really fucking ruined you, it seems. He’s a terrible man who does terrible things, he’s a criminal, he’s a manipulator- your immediate answer should be a resounding “no.”
But the truth of the matter is that Changbin makes you feel like no one else; infuriated but desired, broken but simultaneously put together. You’ve come to enjoy the dynamic you have with him; you now understand the fun in the back and forth, the pleasure to be had in the banter and fight, how impossible it is to let someone who matches your energy go.
A life with him would surely be a life of turmoil, of danger and of risk. But it would also be one of pleasure and unforeseen excitement. Your life was good before meeting him, but it was also dull and predictable. You were likely to spend your whole life in the same place, forever at the beck and call of your parents, or a man that while sweet, wouldn’t excite or please you the way Changbin does. If you say yes, your life will change forever.
No, that’s not quite true; your life already has been forever altered by meeting him. You’re already his, and this is nothing more than a formality. Because why else would you be here right now, if you weren’t already his? For better or worse, you belong to him, body and soul, and you’ve come to realize that nothing will change it.
“Teach me how to use a gun and I’m all yours,” you finally say, and Changbin laughs, clearly pleased with the answer you came to. “You got it, darlin’. Just promise ya won’t shoot me by the time we’re done.” “No promises. I’d be careful if I were you,” you smile, tone light and playful.
“Is that a threat, sugar?” he meets your smile with one of his own, tilting his head to the side as he always does when he’s amused. “Sure is. Don’t pretend you don’t deserve it,” you answer, and he laughs again, pulling you into a kiss afterwards. Body to body, limbs tangled together as you smile at each other, he thinks about what a perfect partner in crime you’ll be from here on out.
#skz x reader#changbin x reader#skz smut#changbin smut#skz imagines#skz scenarios#mdni + divider graphic credit: @cafekitsune
129 notes
·
View notes
Text
feelings doesn't matter, you do
say that you're in the verge of anger, sadness or in the mood you feel like giving up on your own manifestion. how would you feel?
what if the 3d is giving you the people that you DON'T want and is making you feel like ''is my 4d even coming to me?'' or feeling that you are lost in track with the divine realm?
why your feelings doesn't matter if manifesting
if you felt a certain way which is not prideful all the time, just know that your feelings isn't going to do ANYTHING to your manifestion. the only thing that is going to happen is when YOU, yourself lower your self down to your limiting beliefs. It is ok to feel this 'feeling' and totally acceptable. your desires still manifest either way.
even if you lash out, your parents calling you ugly 24/7, would YOU let them control how you are feeling? I can assure you not. the people who hate you, the people who dislike you, and the people who absolutely NOT want to see your face are the same people who have a low vibration, insecure and hates themselves. compared to a person AKA you having your best life and a master manifestor, manifesting their own desire in thin air? now…
us humans aren't perfect even being happy all the time. now at my last post '' why you prob don't see your manifestions/see signs of your manifestion'' I explain how you might not see your manifestions come up is because of your low vibration; there is one thing I need to clear up…
You can literally have a high vibration but cried literally the whole week. you can literally have the worst life ever but still have a high vibration ever. anything can happen to your 3d but the best way to not affect you is not letting your own feelings affect you and your manifestions. or even taking a break to recharge yourself at most. your desires manifest when you're at will to make a change towards them. it's better if you recharge yourself, having a relaxing time just by you. or even dancing w/ music. :)
that's it everyone! this was kinda a rush so you might see some words that don't make sense. just know that god/universe will always have your back on you!
light out, I am glamorchild
#777#111#555#lightoutiamglamourchild#light out#manifesation#manifesting#fypツ#kpop fyp#hanni#love you so much
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
can i request a yoongi chef au? i feel like yoongi's culinary skills are underrated, and I'm just a slut for chef aus in general
Anonymous said: Hi I saw ur request open posts for the new year!!! Could u write more yoongi stories🥺?!?! Your stories are so fantastic and i’m thirsty for more yoongi lolol🤪(hopefully u get enough votes to do more of him haha)
I feel like Jin’s the one who’s usually written as the chef, prob because he’s the better known chef in BTS, but you’re right! There’s gotta be more chef Yoongi!AUs, so here you go!!!
↳ Buttering Up
2.2k || 100% Fluff & Flirtation || Min Yoongi || Chef!AU
He clearly doesn’t know who you are.
“Sorry to keep you waiting.”
You hum, arms crossed as you eye him up and down. His black hair is practically a bowl cut, bangs covering his forehead. He’s in casual clothes — a taupe trench and black pants — looking like he’s ready for a trip to the grocery store rather than to cook. You wonder where this child crawled out from.
“You’re Yoongi?”
“That I am.” He approaches the door of the restaurant before plunging his hands inside his trench coat pockets. He fishes out the key and unlocks it, ushering you inside. “Hope you don’t mind that the restaurant’s closed down.”
You mind much more that he left you waiting on the cold city street for over ten minutes. You still can’t believe he was late. The audacity.
“I would’ve liked to see how you and your staff do your dinner service.”
“Unfortunately, we’re booked full for the next two months.”
You scoff — how doesn’t he know who you are? You’re a food critic who’s brought highly regarded restaurants to their knees through a review of five sentences. Your words alone has had rippled effects in the industry. Even the most talented chefs hold their breaths when you taste-test.
You make Gordon Ramsey look like Mother Teresa.
This Yoongi character is much too arrogant to not respect you. His new and upcoming restaurant might have raving reviews, but you’ll see what’s really going on.
“Sit wherever you’d like.”
There are no waiters in fancy garb, no hand sewn tablecloths made of silk. He doesn’t even pull out the chair for you. Instead, he’s off flickering on the lights of the restaurant while you choose a wooden table and chair right in front of his open kitchen — which is a horrible mistake in itself.
Open kitchens have always been a concept that has fallen short in your eyes. It’s much too noisy during dinner service and it gets smelly fast. Who actually wants to leave smelling like butter and oil?
It’s something you note as you get settled.
Your coat drapes at the back of the chair and then you watch him. Yoongi’s taken off his trench as well, revealing a white long sleeve that he’s beginning to roll up to his elbows. He’s lean and his build is small, but somehow, he’s far from being scrawny. You gawk at the veins running up his forearm until he casually asks—
“Do you have a preference for wine?”
“I’m fine with any.”
He hums and comes over from the glass cabinet with a bottle of chardonnay and a wine glass. Yoongi pops the bottle easily and pours into the pristine glass with a mere tilt of his wrist. You watch the stream fill the glass a quarter way full.
“Is there a menu?”
“You don’t need one.”
Your brows raise. “Excuse me?”
“If I were you, I’d put myself in the chef’s hands entirely and go with their recommendation.” He strides away, placing the wine bottle on the other table and then he turns with a glint in his eye and his mouth slightly crooked upwards. “Unless, of course, you don’t trust your chef.”
Oh. He’s confident.
You can’t wait for his ego to blow up in his face.
“Fine then.” Your head tilts upwards. “What’s your recommendation then?”
He rounds his way to go into the kitchen that’s only a few meters away from where you sit. “Risotto with grilled chicken breast, topped off with caramelized onions, mushroom, grilled zucchini and sautéed tomatoes.”
You roll your eyes. What a basic dish. Isn’t it just rice? And with chicken breast?! Ew. It's guaranteed to be bland.
“Alright then.” You give a smile that might be more mocking than intended. “We’ll see how it tastes.”
Yoongi starts and while sipping the chardonnay, you take a good look at the restaurant from your spot. The place is rustic with a hint of contemporary. There’s exposed brick, wooden tables and chairs, and low, yellow lighting. There’s nothing particularly impressive about the place.
Soon, the sound of rapid, rhythmic chopping fills the space and then sizzling. You watch him intently. And you’re appalled. This Yoongi guy commits the worst cooking sins — his pan is cold when he starts throwing on ingredients. He cooks with olive oil. He overcrowds the pan. And he doesn’t even taste test once as he cooks.
What the actual fuck.
There’s a line between arrogance and insanity, and he was crossing it.
You cringe when he starts using his metallic spatula on the non-stick skillet.
Is he even qualified to run a restaurant?!
Or maybe your assistant sent you information about the wrong restaurant? Or maybe this was not the guy you were supposed to be eating from. What if he poisons you or kills off all of your taste buds?! Your career would be ruined.
“Everything going okay?” you pipe up.
He glances up at you for the first time, eyes peering past his bangs. “Yep. Should be done in five.”
Food is simple. It either tastes good or it doesn’t. But the higher up you go and the fancier it gets, the more convoluted the food tastes with bland flakes of gold and the same old truffle shavings. That or it’s entirely boring and unoriginal.
Or in this case, it might kill you. Which would be the first. And you’re not happy about it.
You feel unsettled when he plops the dish in front of you.
“Chef’s recommendation.”
“Thanks.”
You feel unsettled because it actually smells good. The aroma that fills your senses is flavoursome and buttery, and the thyme on top adds a fresh hint. You’re also unsettled because the plating isn’t actually bad. It’s been presented in a pasta bowl with wavy designs and the chicken breast is thinly and neatly sliced on top. It’s clean. It’s bright. It’s colourful.
But the most lethal poisons are the appetizing ones.
“Are you going to wait until it gets cold?”
You look up, brows raising at how he’s gotten comfortable in the chair across from you. Usually the chefs and waiters or waitresses like to skedaddle off and leave you to your own thoughts, too afraid to stand in your intense scrutiny. But Min Yoongi twists off the cap of his water bottle and casually downs it in front of you.
“I’m just looking at the presentation.”
“Tastes better than it looks,” he exhales after swallowing his water.
Your expression becomes skeptical. But you take the silver spoon beside you anyhow and decide not to waste any more time.
The spoonful goes into your mouth. He watches you. You chew.
Instantly, you halt.
The flavour hits your tongue. Creamy. Thick. But each individual grain of rice still has some firmness with a discernible texture. It’s been done al dente. There’s sweetness from the caramelized onions. An earthy flavour from the mushrooms. A zesty touch from the thyme. The chicken breast is somehow still juicy and the tomatoes burst on your palate.
Suddenly, you’re thrusted back into your childhood. Those summer days spent in the cottage. Sun-kissed cheeks, dirtied knees, cotton dresses. You can hear your late grandmother in the kitchen. The way she calls out that it’s lunchtime. You can feel the comfort of family and love.
It feels like you’ve become the food critic in the ratatouille movie.
You almost cry.
“What do you think?”
You clear your throat. You have to be honest. There’s no way you can lie about something like this. “It’s good. I think...this is the best risotto I’ve ever had. You cooked it perfectly and the toppings you chose were absolutely immaculate with this dish—”
You look up at him. Min Yoongi has an enormous, cocky smirk plastered across his stupid face.
It’s entirely off-putting.
“But of course,” you quickly add, “there are many ways you could improve on it. You could add cilantro—”
“That would unnecessarily drown out the notes of thyme you taste,” he rebukes without a single beat and you scoff.
“I noticed you didn’t add any pepper to it which could deepen the flavour.”
“Except this dish doesn’t need it,” Yoongi deadpans. “You don’t need to help me make any adjustments. I think I know what I’m doing better than you are. Just do your job and I’ll do mine.”
You suck in your cheek and narrow your eyes on him before you take another bite of the risotto while it’s still hot. “The food is delicious, but I must say, the company really spoils it.”
Yoongi’s slumped with one cheek resting in his hand, elbow on the table. He lazily stares at you with that smirk of his. “Really? Because if I didn’t know any better, you look nervous rather than annoyed.”
You scoff for the second time. “Why would I be nervous?”
“Maybe you didn’t expect the food to taste as good as it does and that makes me unexpectedly attractive,” he states plainly. You almost choke. You hit your chest as you sputter. “Or maybe you’re intimidated by me. I’ve gotten both before.”
You wipe your mouth with the napkin. “I’m afraid you’re not very perceptive, Min Yoongi.”
“Really? I think I am.” He smiles, the corners of his mouth quirked. “I’ve read your reviews before.”
You’re unamused. “Have you now? So you must know how difficult I am to satisfy.”
His smirk is sly and it’s jarring against his softer, more tender features. He’s smaller than the men you’re used to being around, but somehow it feels like he’s taken up the entire space of the restaurant. His focus on you is sweat-inducing. Even if you don’t want to admit it.
“I don’t think so. You’ve just been eating shit food,” he says bluntly and your brow cocks. “You just need someone good you can trust. Someone who can take care of you properly.”
You’re not sure if the double entendre is purposeful. You wouldn’t put it past him.
“And is this someone you?”
Yoongi shrugs and sits back. “It could be.”
You grab your glass of chardonnay and gulp the rest in an effort to stop the conversation before it completely derails into a different direction. Yet, Yoongi’s half-lidded and darkened eyes stay on yours with each swallow. He’s unfazed. Unbothered. And that bothers you even more — bothered in a way that makes your face hot.
There’s a clack as you put the wine glass down and gasp.
“I’m a professional.” You won’t be swayed so easily. “I can’t be bribed.”
“Of course.” He blinks as if he doesn’t know what you’re talking about. You glare at him and he gestures to the dish. “Please. Keep eating.”
You finish the plate.
“Do you want any seconds?” he asks as he gets up.
“I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?” Yoongi lingers, all too brazen and fearless. “If you don’t get any more now, you might have to come back for more.”
This time, you don’t try to hide the roll of your eyes. “That’s a presumptuous assumption.”
Yoongi smirks and his voice is husky. “After getting a taste from me, everyone comes back for more.
You scoff.
Min’s Restaurant Review
Three nights ago, I ate at Min’s Restaurant and met the main man in the kitchen. Unfortunately, he is a difficult person to interact with. I hope no one has the disservice of having to speak to the chef behind the dishes. Doing so may as well ruin the experience. Furthermore, his cooking methods are unconventional and unorthodox. It was completely shocking to watch.
However, and what I would consider most important, the food at Min’s Restaurant is spectacular. What Min’s Restaurant lacks in likeable personnel, they make up in the served cuisine. The meal that was prepared for me not only subverted my initial expectations, but overcomes, what I consider, what the food industry is lacking in this modern age exactly. Without unnecessary garnishes and ingredients, the flavours of Min’s Restaurant are both light and deep. It was an undeniable delight to consume and for the first time, I licked my plate clean.
It is undoubted that the man behind Min’s Restaurant has the hands of god.
You should have pride.
But you’ve always loved good food. It’s your Achilles heel. It’s the one thing you’ve been passionate about since you were a kid. The reason why you love your job.
Even after writing such a review, you find yourself booking another reservation. But as a customer instead of a critic.
Of course, they were booked full for the next six months, largely thanks to your review, and they swiftly refused you with numerous apologies. But they called back not ten minutes later. You have a feeling that your name finally sunk into them — that he had something to do with it.
That theory is confirmed when you arrive. The person in question is next to the seemingly nervous hostess as the noisy kitchen echoes throughout the busy restaurant.
In the low lighting, Min Yoongi stands there with a relaxed smirk. As if he was expecting you. As if he knew you’d come crawling back to him to eat out of the palm of his hand, literally and figuratively.
You hate that he’s right.
“Welcome back.”
#bts fanfic#yoongi fanfic#yoongi fluff#yoongi scenario#yoongi reader insert#bts scenario#bts fluff#bts reader insert#yoongi x reader#honestly this is one of my favourite drabbles out of the entire collection#I think someone else mentioned there's not enough flirty Yoongi out there#AND I AGREE#this man naturally has big dick energy and I love it lmao#jimlings#Anonymous
300 notes
·
View notes
Text
Memories / Wolfstar
The pain from losing his best friend hurt, Remus barely coped, when he started remembering, it wasn’t a happy memory though, it was the mistake he made before.
(Also posted on my AO3 account, message if you want the link to it since I will probs post more there.)
It was late, and it was cold, yet he didn’t seem any closer to going inside, afraid of what he might have to face. Remus had barely a single conversation with Sirius before he was gone once more, unfairly taken again, only this time, he wouldn’t have the ability to come back.
“Remus, deary, you need to come inside, he won’t be happy if you join him now.” Molly said gently, coming outside with him. That's right, Sirius’ home had closed to him, he was at the burrow, the new meeting place of the order, the group of people who got Sirius Black killed, no it wasn’t their fault, it was Voldemort’s, and his fault alone, as well as Bellatrix.
“No thanks Molly, I need to head back to my home, I will see you tomorrow.” Remus replied, his voice shaking slightly, the pain more obvious.
With that he apparated away, but not to his home, but the shrieking shack, a place that held his worst memories, and yet he was drawn to it. Memories of his last day flooded his mind, a particular moment he had wished to forget.
June 25th ,1978, the shrieking shack,
“Remus, will you just listen to me! For once in your life just stop and listen to me.” Sirius Black was heard exclaiming, the boy in front of him just sitting on the beaten down bed. Remus just shook his head, not wanting to hear the words that needed to be said, not wanting to admit that it was finally over. The best thing in his life, now over, in a few years it will be nothing but a painful memory.
“No Sirius, you listen, you always have the final say and I am tired of it. You have to be in control all of the time, and I can’t deal with it.” He shot back, the other just stood there, shock being the only readable emotion on his face.
“I can’t keep doing this Remus, it hurts me too much to just watch you destroy yourself, I love you, I really really love you, but I can’t keep acting as if I can’t hear your cries at night.” Sirius decided, going up to the boy, whose head was now hung low. Gently, as if not to startle him, Sirius brought his hands up, cupping Remus’ face, the other’s eyes looking anywhere except his fellow marauder. “Remus, please look at me.”
“I can’t.” He replied, his voice barely there, the tears he had been holding back finally getting loose, only for Sirius to wipe them away.
“One day, when we are both finally ready, we will find each other, and live the fairytale ending you deserve. I love you.” Sirius whispered back, planting a kiss against the boy’s head, before leaving the werewolf alone.
June 13th, 1996, the shrieking shack,
“I was ready, and you were too, yet still, you left.” Remus found himself whispering, not towards anything in particular, seeing as the one who he desperately wanted to hear him, never would ever again. Remus couldn’t handle it, and felt himself falling, crumpling on the ground.
June 27th, 1978,
It hurt, more than Remus would ever let on. Over and over, he just thought about what Sirius had said to him, knowing in his heart that it was built on nothing but the truth. He still shared a room with the guy, hell, sometimes he found himself wishing that Sirius would slip into his bed late at night again, when he thought Remus was asleep, only for the boy to turn over and pull Sirius into his embrace, needing the contact just as much.
“Remus, you're in your mind again, what did you want to talk about?” the aforementioned boy asked, causing Remus to shake his head lightly.
“Yeah, right, sorry. Look, I can't keep acting like everything is okay. And I know it’s messed up that I just pushed you away, but I can’t see it ending well if you actually become a part of whatever life I will have after Hogwarts.” He explained.
“Why do you do this Remus? I ask to be part of your life and all you can do is push me away. What is so impossible about us being together that you have to end it before anything gets started?”
“Don’t you see, I’m a werewolf Sirius, the hate you would get and the unfairness of it all, I can’t force the person I love to go through that.”
“So sad, a few unimportant people get butt hurt. Why can’t we have a family huh? Because you’re a werewolf and I’m gay?”
“That's just it Sirius! Why do you think I’m trying to get rid of you? When I look at you all I see is everything I can’t have. It hurts too much.”
“What? Explain what you can’t have with me right now.”
“This, happiness, a family.” Remus exclaimed, his voice now raised slightly. Sirius only shook his head before leaving for one of the last times. “You, Sirius, I can’t have you.”
June 14th, 1996, in front of 12 Grimmauld Place,
Remus didn’t know why he came here, why his mind told him to. That was before a noise came from behind him, that noise belonging to Harry, James and Lily’s son, the two just stood in silence, as the final remnants of what the marauders once were.
“My mum wanted you and Sirius to raise me, so did dad.” The green-eyed boy said, causing Remus to look at him.
“Sirius would’ve been the most chaotic father alive to you.” Remus jokes, Harry nodding in agreement.
“He loved you, he told me, how no matter how long, one day you would be together again, in the way that it was meant to be.”
Remus could practically hear how his heart plummeted, unaware that Sirius ever told anyone about the life he and Remus shared for such a short amount of time.
“I love him too, with every bit of my heart.” He admitted, meeting Harry’s eyes, only to be greeted with the same eyes that Lily had, the first person he ever told, the one person he would confide in about his forbidden feelings towards Sirius. It broke him, but not in a way that would cause you to lock everything out, no, this was a different kind of break, one that was freeing in a sense, and Remus found himself smiling for the first time since Sirius Black had gone through that veil.
Unbeknownst to the pair, a black dog was watching them from afar, hearing everything that they said. “I love you too Moony.” He said, before turning, seeing the man that died long ago. “Regulus.”
“Come on Sirius, Potter says you kept him waiting long enough, Evans can barely deal with it anymore.” His brother said, Sirius nodded, standing, and bid farewell to the marauder one last time.
“Take care of him Moony, it's up to you now.”
#wolfstar#angst#wolfstar fic#remus lupin#sirius black#remus x sirius#sirius x remus#have fun#this made my beta reader cry#it made me cry#don’t hate me
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ina Kingsley x MC
Left Turns & Parallel Parking
A lil' one shot while I take a break from writing my mini-series. I wanted to get Lilian involved a little bit, but I'm still fleshing out her character, so I don't know what I'm going for with her yet.
I went along with @jenxespinoza's idea of Lilian being a neurosurgeon, which is briefly alluded to. And imma tag @sakaily bc they asked 😂😂 enjoy!
•••
"I'm really happy you came with Ina to see us, Ali," Lilian said as she and Aliyah walked to the parking lot, "Charlotte's been wanting to see Leon again for a while."
Aliyah smiled brightly. This was so domestic that it was disgusting… and she loved it. "No prob. Charlotte'll be a good big sister if you ever have another kid, by the way. Leon already likes her more than me," she replied. Which, ouch. But understandable, given Aliyah was 17 years older than him.
Lilian chuckled. "I'm sure he knows there's no replacing the person that raised him," she consoled, "I can't imagine how hard it was to, though. I had Charlotte my junior year of college, but you were 19 when you got custody of him?"
A frown ticked at Aliyah's lips, but she played it off and nodded. "Yeah. It was a whole… thing," she chuckled weakly.
'A whole thing' meaning dear ol' mom and her new man had damn near assaulted Aliyah after the trial. A quick follow-up for a restraining order was subsequent.
As Aliyah was starting to realize how wild her life was, 'cause holy shit, she and Lilian got to the parking lot. Ina had said she'd load the kids into Aliyah's car while the two of them finished cleaning up in Lilian's apartment.
"So where are we headed?" Aliyah asked.
Lilian hummed, a mannerism that Ina also had before answering any question. "Wherever the kids want to eat, I guess," she answered, "Thank god you drove here. I'm not partial to taking the subway with this many people in our group."
"Hm? Oh, no, Ina drove," Aliyah said as she pushed the metal door open with a loud squeal, "I don't usually let people drive Alicia around, but I consider it a stepping stone in a relationship." She smiled amusedly.
Ina had been curious as to why Aliyah's car was named after another woman, and since Aliyah gave her explanation, has developed an unreasonable jealousy of Alicia Keys.
Lilian stopped in her tracks while Aliyah continued walking towards her black sedan, engine already rumbling quietly a few yards away. "Wait, what?"
Aliyah turned to look back at Lilian, hands stuffed in her pockets. "What?" She asked, equally confused.
"You let- hold on," Lilian stalked towards the car and nearly had a stroke when she found none other than big sister dearest behind the wheel. Lilian knocked on the window of the passenger side and Ina lowered it as she began to sweat.
Lilian leaned through the now open window, and in her mom voice, said plainly, "No."
"Lil-"
"No, Ina. Not in a million years."
Aliyah shot a questioning look to Charlotte, who was sitting in the back with Leon. The seven year-old shrugged. "Uh… you want me to drive?"
"Yes."
"No. I drove here, I can drive us to the restaurant."
"We're getting McDonald's!" Charlotte called.
Ina looked into the backseat, frowning. "Are you sure? I was hoping we could get something a little more filling," she said, "What about you, Leon?"
"McDonald's," the five year-old proclaimed.
"McDonald's, Olive Garden, or Gordon Ramsey's restaurant, you are not driving us there," Lilian cut in. Aliyah opened her mouth to try and defend Ina, but Lilian's wrath was actually unnerving her.
"It's fine, Lilian," Ina insisted, the stubborn ass.
Lilian looked back at Aliyah, wordlessly begging her to take her side.
Aliyah, with her mouth hung open like a fish, was speechless. Should she side with Lilian and just drive to McDonald's, and then risk her girlfriend getting upset at her? Or should she side with Ina and then feel the wrath of a very protective mother?
"Uh…"
Unfortunately, decisiveness isn't one of Aliyah's strengths.
"Lilian, the last time you were in a car with me was years ago," Ina said, "I can drive just fine now."
Lilian let out a groan as she (very) reluctantly started to open the passenger door. "We're all going to die."
"Ah," Ina stopped her, a shadow of a smirk on her face and her finger held up, "You should sit in the back with the kids."
The younger sister's jaw dropped as Aliyah wheezed behind her. "You are the pettiest person I know, Ina Kingsley!" She exclaimed as she moved to the back seat instead, looking at Aliyah, "Make sure she doesn't get us all killed, please."
"Was she really that bad?" Aliyah asked, "I mean, she got us here just fine."
Lilian shuddered as a memory rolled over her, and she shook her head. "I'll tell you in the car," she replied, "Oh lord…"
Aliyah shrugged, before reopening the passenger door and smiling at Ina as she climbed in. "Hey, babe," she greeted, leaning forward to peck the Professor's cheek. Charlotte and Leon gagged dramatically. "Don't kill us all, okay?" Aliyah asked, patting Ina's cheek sardonically.
"I'll try my best," Ina replied with a chuckle as she switched gears and started pulling out of the parking garage, Lilian watching her like a hawk the entire way through. Ina glanced up at the rear view mirror, and stuck her tongue out at her little sister.
The car was quiet for a few moments on the road, save for the good-natured bickering between Charlotte and Leon (they were gonna be a trip when they were older, all the adults could tell). Lilian was silently trying to not have a heart attack in the backseat, and also not to think about Ina's nightmarish track record.
Traffic had begun to build up (it was New York, duh) and Ina slowly rolled to a stop behind the car in front of her. Lilian flinched nonetheless. "Ina!"
Aliyah tried not to snort as an exasperated look passed over Ina's face. "You're fine," she replied flippantly.
"Hm, funny, I remember you saying those exact words after you'd rammed mom's sedan into a light post," Lilian retorted, "And might I remind you, I was very much not fine."
This time, Aliyah couldn't help but guffaw. "You crashed into a light post?" Ina's face flushed red, and she kept her eyes stubbornly on the road.
"It was horrible," Lilian said. Ina's eyes met hers in the rear view mirror, silently begging her 'no'. Lilian smirked evilly. "And the worst part was, there was absolutely no reason for her to crash."
"Lilian-"
"It was like that one scene from Bob's Burgers where Tina slowly crashes into another car."
Aliyah guffawed once again, leaning her head on the dashboard while Ina seethed silently. Aliyah's shoulders shook as she sat upright once again, giving Ina the most shit-eating grin she had ever seen on her (which was saying a lot).
"You know, just 'cause you're a lesbian doesn't mean you have to try and embody every stereotype," Aliyah quipped, causing Lilian to snicker while Ina let out a sigh, "Also, that is the lamest stereotype you could've chosen."
"Wait, aunt Ina's lame?" Charlotte piped up. Ina made a sound like she was in pain.
Aliyah turned back in her seat, nodded, and mouthed 'yes' at the littlest Kingsley.
Something not unlike a low growl left the Professor's body as the light turned green and she realized she was babysitting children. She ignored both of the younger "adult" women in the car while they high-fived, and drove on.
With a flick of her wrist, Ina turned the left signal on and merged into the turning lane. She blew a shaky breath out of her lips that didn't go unnoticed by neither her sister nor girlfriend. Both looked suspiciously at her.
"What is it?" Lilian asked, voice shrouded in sweetness but actually lowkey very threatening.
Ina's eyes flicked to both of them for a moment then back to the road. "I… may not be particularly deft when it comes to left turns," she admitted.
"What, we didn't make any left turns on the way to her apartment?" Aliyah asked. Ina shook her head. Aliyah sighed. "Well, just make sure you turn the wheel in the right direction. Right meaning left. You know what I mean."
"Thank you, Ali," Ina said dryly.
"Of course, babe."
Leon squeezed his nose so his voice sounded nasally and high-pitched. "Of course, babe."
Aliyah threw her head back and laughed just as Ina started to make the turn, and doink.
"Ow! Jesus Christ, Ina!" Aliyah cradled the right side of her head after it bounced off the window from the sharpness of Ina's turn. Ina winced harshly while Leon started to snicker (Charlotte had the compassion to try and not to).
"Shit! I'm so sorry Ali, are you okay?" Ina reached a hand out to squeeze Aliyah's knee, but Aliyah scrambled to take it off and put it back on the wheel.
"Both hands on the wheel!" She exclaimed sternly. Ina shrank away sheepishly while Aliyah continued to rub her head.
"Good job Ina, you almost gave your girlfriend a concussion," Lilian quipped.
"You're next, Lilian Kingsley," was Ina's immediate reply. And Lilian knew damn well that her big sister didn't play around, so she stifled a very smart reply.
---
"Can we play music?" Charlotte asked once they were halfway to wherever the hell they were going, 'cause Aliyah was pretty sure they'd passed three different McDonald's by now.
"Sure, kiddo," Aliyah said as she grabbed the aux cord, "What do you want me to play?"
"Taylor Swift!" She exclaimed. Aliyah nodded (albeit a little reluctantly) and started to scroll through the infinite songs in her playlist.
"No, Eminem!" Leon said.
Aliyah threw her little brother a look as Ina and Lilian started to laugh. "The heck do you mean Eminem?" She demanded. The little boy shrank away sheepishly. Aliyah put on her stern voice. Not quite as good as Lilian's, but it'd do. "Leon, what've you been listening to?"
"Uh… Eminem?" Aliyah huffed before turning around and continuing to look for Taylor Swift on her playlist.
"What's your favorite song by Eminem, Leon?" Ina asked. Aliyah gave her an unappreciative look.
"Real Slim Shady!"
"Oh god," Lilian covered her face as she started to shake with laughter.
Leon and Charlotte started to chant the chorus to Real Slim Shady- and Aliyah was praying that was all they knew- while Aliyah scrolled furiously through her playlist. Ina tapped Aliyah's arm before she could get to the Tay-Tay portion of her playlist.
"Play Queen," Ina asked quietly.
"The kids aren't gonna like Queen," Aliyah replied.
"They need to learn culture," Ina retorted.
"If you want them to learn culture, then why are you asking for Queen?" Lilian said. Ina gasped as if her sister had just twisted a knife in her side. Aliyah nodded in agreement.
"You too?" Ina said, incredulous, "But you're a musician!"
"And you're an anthropologist," Aliyah said, unblinking, while Lilian laughed at her sister's expense. "You can talk about bones, and Neanderthals, and old sticks all you want, but I don't think music is your strong suit," she added with a smirk.
"Old sticks?" Ina repeated, this close to giving up on life, "What is it that you think my career entails again?"
"Old sticks," Aliyah said once again without missing a beat, "Like the ones at the museum you showed us."
"Those were the remnants of spears from the Middle Paleolithic era!" Ina exclaimed defensively. Aliyah tried not to let a guilty smile sneak onto her face, because the nerd in her had thoroughly enjoyed the impromptu date at the museum. But harassing Ina was still her favorite past time.
"You know, as far as I'm concerned, Lilian's the only real doctor in this car," Aliyah said, and Ina practically vibrated with irritation.
"Aw, that's very sweet of you, Ali," Lilian said. She was very familiar with the 'harass Ina until she pops a blood vessel' game, and she and Aliyah did a mental fist bump.
"But I thought aunt Ina's a doctor too," Charlotte said, thoroughly confused and have since forgotten about her music.
"I am a doctor," Ina huffed grumpily.
“A doctor of old sticks,” Lilian said. Ina pursed her lips and stayed very silent.
Aliyah squeezed Ina's arm as she started to shake with laughter. "Babe, we're just joking," she said. Ina threw her an unreadable look, before giving the brake pedal momentary a push. Aliyah jerked forward with a yelp while Lilian nearly screeched. The kids laughed, enjoying the rollercoaster simulation.
"Ina!" Lilian snapped.
"That's what you two get," she said simply, with the biggest, winningest smirk on her face as she drove on. The two of them grumbled nervously as Ina continued her drive down the highway, mentally brushing off her shoulders.
"Are we at McDonald's yeeeet?" Charlotte asked, "I'm hungry. I want nuggies."
"Nuggies won't fill you up," Ina replied, and Aliyah couldn't help but snort at Ina using the word 'nuggies'. "We're going to a restaurant on Fifth."
"…do they have nuggies?"
Ina sighed. "Charlotte, don't you want to eat something a little more… fulfilling than chicken nuggets?" She asked, "And what if Leon doesn't-"
"I want nuggies too," Leon chimed.
"Yeah, me too," Aliyah said. Ina glared at her and she began to snicker. "Okay, okay, just get us there, Professor." While the kids groaned in disappointment Ina switched gears into sixth and sped down the highway.
Eventually, they got onto Fifth Street, and back into the heavy congestion of the main roads. It was times like this that Aliyah missed growing up further down south, where you could actually drive instead of just starting and stopping every second.
Ina started to slow down by the sidewalk, next to a building with its name written in big, cursive, neon letters. Charlotte gasped dramatically. "I know this place! They have a chocolate fountain!" At that revelation, Leon started to grin as well. Ina smiled privately to herself as she rolled to a stop next to a parking spot.
Aliyah looked at her. "You know you have to park in the spot, right?" She quipped. Ina nodded.
"Yes, I'm aware," she let out a sigh and Aliyah's stomach dropped.
"...You can't parallel park either, can you?"
"How hard can it be?"
"Extremely, actually," Lilian interjected, "Aliyah, maybe you should-" Aliyah had already moved to open her door, but Ina stopped her.
"Stay in the car, I can do this," Ina said, the determination and pride riding on all of this in her voice. Aliyah found it ridiculous, and it showed in her face.
"Ina, if you dent my car," Aliyah switched to Spanish so that the kids couldn't understand, "No sex for a month." Lilian guffawed as Ina winced.
Charlotte cocked a brow in hilarious Kingsley fashion. "What'd she say, mama?" She turned to Lilian.
"Erm… she said that she won't let aunt Ina drive again," Lilian said, still snickering.
Ina breathed out a slow breath, trying her best to ignore Aliyah's steel gaze on her as she switched into reverse. There was a significant amount of room for her to work with between the two cars, but she didn't exactly have a driving record that inspired confidence.
She made damn sure that her glasses weren't going to fall off her face as she slowly started to back in, hands clenching the wheel tightly.
"Aunt Ina, are you okay?" Charlotte asked, causing Ina to jolt, "You look… uh… constipated." Aliyah once again found herself leaning her head against the dashboard while Ina's face flushed red.
"I'm fine, Charlotte," she said patiently, before refocusing on the parking spot. After a few more tense moments of an anxiety-ridden Ina and some death-staring from Lilian, the car was sitting nearly in the parking spot.
Ina took the key out of the ignition with a triumphant smile while Leon and Charlotte whooped (about the food, of course). "Wow. We're alive," Lilian said, grinning as she patted Ina's shoulder, "Aside from nearly giving Aliyah a concussion, not bad, sis." And in spite of the ever-apparent snark, Ina could hear a hint of pride in Lilian's voice. "I'll go take the kids inside," she added with a wink, before starting to load the kids out.
Aliyah chuckled as she watched Charlotte and Leon Naruto-run into the restaurant, Lilian trailing behind them. She reached over and squeezed Ina's hand, and the Professor turned to look at her just in time to catch a cheeky kiss squarely on her jaw.
"Ah!" She yelped with a chuckle, "I take it your ultimatum has been null and voided?"
"Honestly, I probably wouldn't have been able to uphold it," Aliyah said as she kissed Ina's nose, watching in amusement as it scrunched up, "But just so you know, I am driving us home."
Ina deflated in relief. "Thank god. I think I lost five years of my life just from this drive," she said. Aliyah chuckled as she squeezed Ina's thigh sympathetically. "Is your head okay? I'm so sorry about that…"
"It's fine," Aliyah said, rubbing her head subconsciously, "But you need to slow the hell down on those turns."
Ina nodded. "Noted for the next time I drive. Which will be in another few years," she smiled as Aliyah laughed, and leaned forward to catch her lips in a gentle kiss. "I'm sorry for being stubborn," she murmured against Aliyah's mouth, "I had to prove a point to Lilian."
Aliyah rolled her eyes as she tugged on Ina's lip playfully. "You're stubbornness almost earned me a concussion, but we're not gonna talk about that," Aliyah said as she gave Ina one more enthusiastic kiss on the lips, "Now c'mon. You drove us all the way here, let's go eat." Ina smiled as she got out of the car, and the two of them walked towards the restaurant, hand in hand.
~end~
54 notes
·
View notes
Text
MASTERLIST (& REVIEW) OF AUGUST 2021
(3rd august) Happy Birthday, Sunfish
fandom: omniscient reader
pairing: kim dokja/joonghyuk
summary: It was his birthday, but of course Joonghyuk would rather spend it all day in bed.
notes: this one was not planned; it was a complete surprise. (a common patten im noticing) all warm & fluff and slight angst and slight humour and v much like it! it didn’t come out perfectly as I wanted but yeah, it was good <333 the part where yjh acts like a cat DELIGHTS ME V MUCH I really didn’t except to write more for this ship, tbh, but here we are. also idk, but thinking about this fic makes me want to write a follow-up
(20th august) unnamed
fandom: jujutsu kaisen
pairing: fushiguro toji & fushiguro megumi, toji/megamama
summary: Toji was married and he was gonna have a kid soon. He doesn’t have a fucking clue about what's going on. Who thought this was a good idea?
notes: im so v in love with toji & megmama’s relationship. yeah, it’s pretty non-existent in canon and this is me making up 99% everything but it’s fun and im emotional abt this family and do really want to write the next chp but also fuckkk what is her name. it’s hard finding a way around not writing her name because I don’t want to think of one for her bad & because what if gege gives her name later on and I just embarrass myself here for coming for her (hey, I just realised that I could edit the name if gege did that) but forgetting that stuff. speaking of this particular fic. it wasn’t supposed to be apart of my other wip, I was just writing....when I realised it could be a pre-chp for it. toji is honestly so fun to write for love him
(21st august) cravings
fandom: jujutsu kaisen
pairing: itadori yuuji/kugisaki nobara
summary:
Nobara bangs open the door with a murderous expression on her face, startling him. “You.” She grits out.
Yuuji blinks. “Me?” He says, pointing at himself.
“I’m going to kill you!” She cries out, and without elaboration dives straight for him.
notes: okay so like I did have another fic for this soulmate prompt idea but it was nowhere near finished for the first day of itakugi week and I was definitely gonna write something. so I soared high and low for a soulmate idea that would be quick to write and found this one that suit them and was cute and wrote a lil at the start of the day, and then it was the evening and okay I was panicking now as I quickly wrote this and kept writing! usually when I do a wip, I stop half-way in despite how I very well know what’s gonna happen next and it’s how I end up with so many unfinished stuff. BUT I KEPT GOING, that motivation pushing me through and heck! would u imagine! I just about managed to finish & post before the day ended!!! it was stressful but honestly best fun I had. the high stakes were fun, and it was so rewarding when I finished!!! love this one lots as well the banter & their dynamic were so so fun to write god I love them. I did have a lot that I didn’t get to write for with this one, though, and it makes me want to write a follow-up but like I always get that urge whenever I reread my stuff, so.
(22rd august) date night
fandom: jujutsu kaisen
pairing: itadori yuuji/kugisaki nobara
summary:
I want more, she thinks, the drag of his fingers on her hands painful because it’s not enough. Kugisaki Nobara is greedy, and this is nowhere near enough. She wishes that Megumi was here so she wouldn't have to deal with these stupid feelings.
--
or, nobara pines helplessly.
notes: honestly, this is probably my fave out of what I wrote for itakugi week (that I’ve so far finished) and I love it very much!!! this definitely did not come like how my initial idea was and tbh, still want that idea, so will probs write smth on that... anyways love this one so much the pinning the yearning the lil angst (gah, so good) and how it didn’t go all angst (surprised me) and came out hopeful and stuff. I really do want to write a follow-fic where it follows them getting together. will i? who knows
(24th august) What Not To Do
fandom: jujutsu kaisen
pairing: itadori yuuji/kugisaki nobara
summary:
“Are you saying you never — never — that I’ve been thinking you were rejecting me all this time but you didn’t know.“
Alternatively: they are idiots, your honour.
notes: man okay, this day was definitely smth. I went through three wips because somehow none of them were working and genuinely was gonna give up this day but! what do you know! I managed to finish this one! but, uh, I did kind of rush with it and didn’t quite go well so I’m not feeling very favourable towards this one but I do love it! it’s good! just not the best of what it could be & urgh, I always see that. which is annoying, but! I measure fics but how much fun it is and how much I learned from writing it which is a whole lot plenty. never regretted posting it <3
(25th august) hold me, and warm me right up
fandom: golden time
pairing: Oka Chinami/Kaga Kouko
summary:
Oka probably wants to break up, and hates her, now. Oh god.
Kouko buries her face further into her scarf, mind spinning with all the worst possible. Instead of any of them, she feels warmth envelope her hands.
She startles, peeks out, and finds Oka clasping her hands with hers.
(In where Kouko is still getting used to this new relationship thing, and Oka is a concerned girlfriend.)
notes: this fic’s existence delights me v much. just. yes. this ship were a surprise to me, along with how I managed to actually finish something! very exciting! also. just. this one is so cute & adorable, I cant. I have a million of thoughts about this lil piece and every time I think of it I desperately want to write something more on them OKAKO IS ONE OF THE BEST SHIPS I COULD HAVE EVER THOUGHT OF AAA I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.
#omniscient reader#orv#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#golden time#my writing#masterlist#SHIT I HAD THIS IN MY DRAFTS BUT TOTALLY FORGOT TO POST IT#hdjfkf#also: I say review but honestly it’s probs a ramble thought thing#I wrote these ones on the fly
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Long post about American politics -specifically California and how we are fucking up.... it’s a good read, just a lot.
Okay, I just want to remind everyone of of few things as we draw closer to a legit recall vote on Gavin Newsom.
1) This movement stated as (and still emplofies) a calling for the worst kind of people - This began with a group of people who just haaaaaaaad to go outside because they were over participating in basic human decency. Then, billionaires used the vaccine debacle as a jumping point to get taxes lowered. Please don’t think they care about wether or not we get vaccinated. They just don’t want to pay taxes.
This has morphed into a call to arms over CAs vaccine response. They are hiding behind a legit issue to push their anti worker narrative.
We need to stop seeing every problem as one sole persons fault. This is a product of late stage capitalism and white supremacy. We are so fixated on “American individualism” that we oft forget that these things don’t happen because of one individual person. Corporations use this against us constantly!!
Newsom is not perfect. He was an idiot to go to that dinner and he rolled over and ended the stay at home order like a fucking idiot. BUT CA has so many more issues that were always going to make a vaccine rollout hard:
- we have the largest state population in the nation.
- there are not enough medical workers for our population.
- many people in our state are undocumented and we can’t and should not leave them behind. They are often skeptic of any database that might take their name and age (and most likely ask for a social). But without adequate medical personnel, getting into each county can be difficult.
- people are still not following covid guidelines!!! We have had huge spikes in hospitalizations and deaths. How can the health care workers we do have give vaccines if they are over worked at hospitals??
- I would not look at other states already vaccinating 20 somethings(outside of high risk) as a win. This means that the vaccines were not distributed with the population in mind. This is such a theme in our country and it goes back to individualism. State individualism. States just don’t have to care that NY and CA have higher populations because it is just not their problem.
- those states are also showing a world wide failure. Young people here should not be getting vaccines, while elders in the developing world are dying because their countries can’t compete with 1st world buyouts.
-vaccine costs. Fuck Bill Gates. He convinced companies to patent and sell the vaccine rather than donate. A fucking asshole.
This brings me to my next and most important point:
2) WE CAN NOT HAVE CHANGE WITHOUT SOLITION!!!
As leftist, I see this trap all of the time. Change is good and needs to happen, but if we let certain things happen without solution, we leave a vacuum for fascism. We cannot let a dangerous group have the answer.
Let’s consider the current candidate to replace Newsom, a tech billionaire. He promises lowered taxes, higher pay for teachers, and a $2000 payment for ever child in California. Pretend everything he says is not full of shit and he is actually going to pay every teacher 70000/year (and not break it up by income in each county....as he def would) and that he will pay $2000 for every kid (will this extend to our undocumented children, probs not).
Please please understand that the lump sum payments we are offered will NEVER amount to the money we loose by not taxing billionaires adequately. This supposed higher pay will not stop teachers from having to use their own money to provide supplies for their classrooms/kids. It won’t change the ridiculous housing market. It won’t fix our school buildings. It won’t provide after school programs. It is a eye catcher, not a solution.
If we really want to provide more funds to schools, we would repeal prop 13. That prop is the fucking biggest joke and hold up of our state. We are allowing huge corporations, such as Disney, to pay property taxes from the fucking 70s!!!!! Property taxes are supposed to fund k-12 schools. But we are not receiving that money, so our schools go underfunded.
Though it gets worse, we supplement a lot of that dispenancy using state tax. This takes away from infrastructure, social programs, affordable housing supplements, etc...If that and sales tax are cut, we loose that funding too. It’s a downward spiral with only one group in a good position. The 1%.
“But these companies are threatening to leave to Texas/Florida, where there are little/no taxes!”
Fucking let them try. We don’t have higher taxes in our state for the fucking hell of it. We have higher taxes because the current capitalistic structure requires a lot of underpaid skilled workers to keep these corporations going. Withthis work force comes families, Schools/education, housing needs, medical needs, shopping, dining, etc.... the social programs needed to barely keep the working class breathing are paid by taxes. The programs created to make it possible for the work force to live an hour away from their under paid job requires taxes. You need large infrastructure, room, accessibility. Taxes go up when corporations go in. Texas and Florida will not remain tax less or low on taxes. They will have to compensate the workforce that comes with these billionaires.
Billionaires know this. If they didn’t they would have jumped ship long ago. They want their California homes and they know they need the working/undocumented class in this state. AND specifically the infrastructure built around and for these working working class peoples (it also keeps the working class away from them). They are going to do everything they can to bleed us dry, while keeping their fourth beach house and their new offices.
We are hyped right now due to the GME stonks “revolution.” We need to keep this energy going. The one percent do not flourish without us. And I am done just barely surving.
Be wary of any promises to cut taxes, they will never benefit you and lump sum payments are created to keep us quite.
The other two candatites I’ve seen circling are Uber right wing jokes. They spread Q bullshit and use really deragatory language.
Don’t. loose. your. fight. They are getting scared because they have had to accept that the masses aren’t stupid. That’s another reason for them to push to open the country. The working class has never been less intelligent, they have just had less time. We have time now. Use it to show that this system can destroy them too.
Thanks for reading. I’m going to end up writing a paper on the danger and destruction of American Individualism, but message me if you want to discuss it.
#politics#California#Newsom#vent#rant#revolution#recall#governor#democrat#republican#pleasedontvoteforabillionaire#eat the rich#tax the rich#fuck bill gates#fuck corporate america#this is america#disney#america news#fight back#working class#we are stronger than they are#thank you for reading#2021#election#vote#think critically#american individualism
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Witness (Part 3)
Pairing: Oscar Diaz x Female Reader
Summary: Reader witnessed Oscar’s first kill which solidified his fate as a Santo. Years later, they run into each other and Oscar immediately falls for the Reader, but the Reader remains extremely guarded and keeps her distance.
Requested?: From comments on previous post
Warnings: None
A/N: This wasn’t planned to be a series, but a fewof you have requested it! Here’s Part Three; let me know if I should continue 😊
Part 1 Part 2
**Non-canon Storyline**
The weekend meant one main thing for adults: grocery shopping. Unfortunately for her, the weekends also meant busy stores and loud children. Nevertheless, she was running low on basic cooking spices and snacks.
Y/N pushed the rickety grocery cart through the aisles, browsing at items she never bought and wondering how the workers kept up with the expiration dates of all the items in the store.
Finally, she arrived at the snack aisle and parked her trolley directly opposite the family-sized bags of potato chips. She looked at the top shelf, where her favorite flavored chips were: salt and vinegar. She already knew she was too short to reach the top, but that didn’t stop her from doing mini-jumps to prove such to herself. After a few jumps and useless stretches, she was about to give up and move onto another snack.
On her last stretch, an arm appeared from behind her, moving to comfortably grasp the bag above her. Immediately, Y/N took a step away and turned to see the individual.
With even quicker regret, she now stood facing the Santo, Oscar Diaz. Silently, he smirked and tossed the bag of chips into her trolley.
Meeting his eyes, she said, “T-thanks.”
The Santo nodded and replied, “No prob. Don’t be afraid to ask for help next time.”
Y/N nodded and resumed her spot behind the trolley, eager to leave the area.
Before she could leave him completely, Oscar asked, “You really think my brother can do something with his life if he does well in school?”.
Y/N stopped and turn to respond. “As long as he wants to, he can. As long as there isn’t someone trying to keep him here, or get involved in questionable acts, he can definitely get out of this town and be someone.”
Oscar knew what she meant but didn’t appear to be bothered. “You mean as long as he isn’t a Santo?”
“I mean that as long as he has options, he can do anything.”
The smirk re-appeared and Oscar took a few steps closer to Y/N. “Don’t worry, teach. He won’t end up like me.”
“Are you sure?” Y/N asked, not avoiding his glaring eyes.
There was an eye-twitch at your words.
“Cesar is a good kid; I would hate to have his efforts wasted just because of where he lives or who he’s related to.”
“Are you always so concerned about your students?”
“When I know their brother is a murderer, yes.”
Oscar seemed to loom over her, with flaring nostrils and seething eyes. If looks could kill, Y/N would be long gone. Once again, the Santo was silent.
Y/N took that as her chance to get away before the conversation got more heated. She offered a polite smile and pushed her trolley to another aisle. When he was out of sight, she let out a staggering breath, steadying herself.
She wondered if she would ever be able to have a chat with him that didn’t involve have to get intense or uncomfortable. Her mind was so preoccupied with thoughts of him that she forgot basic items and miscounted her cash at the cashier. He really had a way of sticking in her mind, especially when she wanted nothing more to do with him.
--
The last chance to mentally prepare for the week ahead was Sunday evening. There was an outdoor movie showing being held by a local youth support group and almost everyone in the neighbourhood seemed to be heading to where it was being held.
Luckily for Y/N, the park where the event was happening was a brief, 15-minute walk from her place. Rather than stay cooped up indoors, Y/N changed into her most comfortable pair of jeans and packed bottled water, a sandwich, pepper spray and a pocket knife in her tote bag. Once her door was locked, she headed to the park.
The movie wasn’t set to start for another half hour or so, yet Y/N was still surprised to see the park almost entirely full of varying families and couples. Just one glance and she recognized many of her students lounging around sharing hearty laughs with their friends and families. Instead of taking a spot among the crowd, she opted to stay on the outskirts where it was much quieter but still within viewing space of the screen.
She sat on one of the park benches and took out her phone to pass the time.
Above her, the streetlight’s shine was interrupted, causing her to snap her head to see what or who was behind her. Much to her demise, that damn Santo stood too close for comfort.
“You should sit closer,” he said, skipping over basic social greetings. When she didn’t respond, he followed up with, “Maybe you should join me up front.”
At that, she replied, “I’m very content with where I am.”
Oscar smirked but motioned to sit next to her, much to her dismay. After a moment of silence passed between them, he piped up. “You said something about me being a murderer last time.” His eyes flicked to hold her gaze.
Y/N did her best to not back down; she wanted him to see that she would not falter under his usually intense stare.
“I was right, wasn’t I? You were the girl in that warehouse all those years ago.”
“Yeah, that was me.”
“And you decided to stay in Freeridge even after that, knowing that we could run into each other any day?”
She nodded.
“You know I could have just killed you when I realized who you were from that meeting in the school.”
She nodded once more.
“I could still do it.”
This time, she sighed and leaned closed towards him to whisper, “The worst type of threats are empty threats. Unless you’re going to actually kill me, then I suggest that we stay away from each other, hmm?”
Oscar’s nostrils flared; no one ever tried to overpower him in a conversation. Now, here was this girl that knew and remembered him and she had the upper hand. A part of him felt embarrassed but, an even larger part of him felt...aroused.
Y/N broke the gaze and reached in her bag, taking out the bottled water. She stared ahead of her now, watching the staff make the final touches to begin the film. All Oscar could do was stand up and join his troupe at the front of the crowd.
Throughout the evening, he replayed their interaction, and by the end of the night, his favorite part was when her voice whispered and his pores raised at both her scent and her close presence.
She was at the forefront of his mind now and he looked forward to the week ahead, making it his mission to see her as often as possible.
#omb#omb imagine#omb fanfiction#omb request#Oscar Diaz#oscar spooky diaz#oscar diaz x reader#spooky diaz#spooky diaz x reader#julio macias
185 notes
·
View notes
Text
Week 17 with long term Covid
Hello to anyone reading this, those I know and those I don’t.
Had Covid 19 now for 17 weeks (or suffering after effects of covid, how ever you want to word it.) Point is had/have Corona and it’s still kicking my arse.
So since my recent facebook update (after being pretty quiet on social media for a while) a couple of peeps have messaged me asking about my symptoms and stuff as (apart from the first 2-3 weeks) I haven't really gone into any detail I just sort of say 'having rough week' or 'things flared up again' etc etc. Without going into too much detail about anything specific. So for anyone interested, and because people have been curious and asking - and as you’ll see is far to detailed to explain person to person (and want to spread the word about long haulers as a lot of people struggling) So it’s just easier for me to have it in one place. For myself more then anything. And if you get anything out of it then that’s great.
Things are just starting to come out about long haulers in the media and on the news and I know people are interested to learn a bit more about it all. So while I’m having a not too bad a time last couple of days I’d thought it’s a good a time as any to go thru all my symptoms. Get them typed out for first time.
And maybe it will be helpful to someone who randomly comes across this post - (thou please don’t use as a guide), every case is different, a lot of similarities and cross overs , but ultimately different Just because someone you know might be having a rough couple of days or experiencing a couple of these symptoms it could be something completely unrelated to covid. (Make sure you check with your GP or call 111 if you think you have covid symptoms long term or otherwise.) I am not a Dr.
Here's a list of everything been going on with me over last 17 weeks. Some experiences have been completely new to me so very hard to explain , some descriptions may sound a little odd , but hopefully you get idea of what I mean! (Also sorry for any grammar mistakes....I dropped out of English A level)
Those who come across this and don’t know me personally know that while this is a (mostly) serious (but hopefully uplifting) post I’m very sarcastic and use dumb humour to deflect from how shit life is at the moment! :-)
So first thing of the bat I'll explain is I've realised in recent weeks it's been easier to think of it as good and bad days/weeks rather then getting better/worse
(as in first 10 or so weeks when I thought of it as 'it's getting better' and got in that positive mindset, the kickbacks have obviously beaten the piss out of me mentally as well as physically, as I've had about four big relapses now where I thought I'm on the right track, having a good couple of weeks then bam, I seem to go back to square one for no real apparent reason.
So when I say bad day I'm describing when everything amps/flares up again, A few more symptoms go up and the volumes up on high,and likewise a good day is when things seem to be moving in right direction again and I get a bit of a break.(So now I just appreciate them when they come and try make most out of them.) A good day isn’t a symptom free day by any means, it’s just better then the bad ones.
OK so on to my symptoms.
Specific Areas
Chest
- Since the first evening it kicked of early March my chest has felt like a giant has had his hand around it - that’s non stop, constant (told you my explanations were weird.)
On the better days it's a very light grip I can get on and do things to a point, but I am always aware it's there. On a bad day it's grip tightens and he squeezes (or his fingers press into a couple of key areas - been pressing on my back a lot last few weeks.) - That’s been non stop and has not gone away since beginning. Thou I do believe its starting to ease a little.
- Chest pain - A shooting pain in my chest (slightly different from description above, feels more like its needles on inside of body. Thankfully these are uncommon, they pop up if I push myself a bit too far one day or if I’m having rougher week.(And it’s not heart related)
Lungs/Breathing
- Haven't felt like I've taken in a full lungful of air since beginning, I take a deep breath but only feels like I'm taking in 80- 85% ish (on a good day) 65- 75% ish (on a bad day) - This is week 17 numbers btw, take maybe 10-15% off when it was at worst. I think the best way I can describe it is it feels like there’s a filter or a sieve/strainer at top of lungs, on a good day there’s more spaces available to breathe thru (but still there’s a filter) and on a bad day more spaces close and I'm breathing thru less.
*Thankfully bar the first week where I had to get paramedic out, I haven't been gasping for air, I've certainly had to just lay and just concentrate on only breathing a few times because the filters have closed up a lot more (in the night mostly) especially where my bodies relaxed and I've woken and panicked short of air. Yes that’s as terrifying as it sounds.
- The air I do take in doesn't feel clean or fresh (best way I can describe it is when you go to a zoo and they have a indoor Rain Forrest/safari area .... very that lol)
That was constant the first 12 or so weeks (even when getting fresh air outside) thankfully that’s eased a little and not so prominent, still doesn't feel like I’m breathing in fresh air but its not so hot and stuffy and noticing the difference when I go outside now.
Throat/Mouth
- Burning/inflamed mouth - This is by far been the most uncomfortable/hardest for me to ignore and just get on with day to day stuff, from maybe week 6 to week 14 it was pretty much non stop burning mouth and throat
(Call my mum Khaleesi because I was spitting fire.)
Whole inside of my mouth and down my throat was just inflamed/swollen (felt like I had a golf ball stuck down there) and burning hot.
The last couple of weeks its eased I don’t wake up with it (unless i’m having a flare up/bad day) It's still very on/ off but thankfully not constant like it was. And have since learned that high histamine foods make it worse - same with my chest and few other things, (so choc, dairy, alcohol, fizzy drinks ...my diet essentially ) So have cut most of them down/out. Ice lollies have been my savior on hot throat days.
- Marble in throat - Another hard one to explain, it feels like there’s a marble sort of sized ball of phlegm that I constantly need to clear. (OK maybe not that hard to explain - also sorry for the gross imagery.) But not enough mucus coming up to warrant the feeling, it’s irritating more then anything - but a few weeks ago was probs golf ball sized, so again improvement!
- This sort of ties in with with the inflamed mouth, but the first thing to flare up on bad day is my tongue, feels tingly most of the time anyway but more so on a flare up/bad day.
- Same with my teeth / gums and the tingly sensation, (my teeth constantly feel like that sensation when you have some orange juice after brushing your teeth.) Sensitive/fuzzy I guess. Not particularly bothersome or concerning...just weird.
Nose
- This is probably one of newest ones, nose has felt hot(on and off)/bunged up for last few weeks. (But I know its not if that makes sense) I guess you could say same as lungs - not breathing in a full nose-full of air either. - sorry again for gross TMI but any mucus or boogers are clear (like almost see thru clear/never been cleaner clear)
- Phantom smells - A really odd one, I smell smoke and gas a lot, not just smell it, it feels like its in my nose and my mouth - especially smoke, almost like I’ve eaten it sometimes (non smoker in smoke free flat btw). Was a lot more prominent in first few weeks ,so much so that before I realised it was a symptom I had my carbon monoxide alarms checked because it was making me paranoid I could smell smoke/gas. A bizarre one for sure. Pops up randomly now and again.
Eyes
- Last couple of weeks have been getting bit of blurry vision and sore or dry eye , I'm already blind as shit so hard to tell in terms of blurriness how bad this one is, but def finding it harder to concentrate on one thing for too long (but that sort of ties in with brain fog - which i'll get to) but pretty sure once this is done with and I go to opticians will likely need a stronger prescription (some other long haulers who never had eye problems before are now having to wear glasses) No idea if that’s a permanent one but hopefully i’m at peak of it.
Ears
- My left ear has felt blocked pretty much since start (or like it needs to pop some days) Most the time I can ignore it but can be quite distracting if it kicks up a couple of dials.Which is likely why I get ear ache in same ear often as well.
*Also for most the things listed above it has always been worse on my left side of body, lung, eyes, ear, headaches.
- Tinnitus (correct word for ringing in ears right?) Usually kicks in early afternoon or on bad day. Varies on strength depending on the day I’m having.
Head/Brain
- Brain Fog - So the sort of very basic science behind this is because my lungs aren't producing enough oxygen my brain knows this, so is lending them some to help out...but because of this it means I’m experiencing what is known as brain fog (I don’t know what its actually called, likely has a better more official sounding name) - my concentration is very low, i’m finding it hard to retain things and concentrate more then usual. (not been up to reading or watching something new for month or so as I just cant focus on it) Also been getting odd words muddled or confused (but the bar wasn't the highest with me on that front ha ha)
Been dropping things when I think I have them in my hand. I do however think this is improving
(The fact that I have typed this out with just a couple short breaks so far is much better then two weeks ago when I couldn't even focus on a computer game for more then half a hour) so as my lungs improve so does this or vice versa on flare up. *Edit - This whole post has taken a couple of days to draft and type up, so not too bad in terms of needing breaks etc.
-I'm also constantly aware of my brain... like I can feel it all the time (I literally cant explain that any other way lol, I guess its just heavier at moment so I can feel it against my skull) best explanation I think you'll get from that one.
- Have a headache most the time (so much so that I sort of forget it’s there.) Thankfully most the time there mild/low and I can forget or distract myself but like everything else if I'm having a bad few days it goes up a notch. Likely connected to the brain fog.
Stomach and Lower abdomen
- Period pains - only way I can explain it, generally thought after nearly 10 years without them it was messing my body about so much I was getting phantom periods. (I’m a transgender man, 4+ years on testosterone, for anyone I don’t know who comes across this) been there done that, brought the t-shirt.. then sent it back because it wasn’t for me! Very strong and painful on and off for first eight weeks, get the odd twinge now and again but think that ones done with, thank the gods.
- Stomach Pains - Few aches and pains on /off, and recently experienced what felt like needle/stabbing pain for short while in short bursts - and I only really mention stomach because I haven't had the widely publicised 'covid shits' (yet, touch wood... or cloth) So yay!
Heart
- Palpitations - First 8 weeks was on and off most days to the point if I was sat still my heart would be palpitating. (I couldn't even sit and listen to music I enjoyed as it would make my heart go mad.) - When I do get the palpitations it sets most things off, so if palpitations do start I generally know I'm about to have rough couple of hours or days and can’t do much, for obvious safety reasons. Thankfully these have subsided a lot last 6 or so weeks. Still get them every few days but generally know whats setting me off and how to lower them down and they don’t last as long.
Hands and Feet
- Skin been very dry last couple of months, cracking and peeling on hands and feet (ew)
- Pins and needles/ numb fingers and toes - Get this a lot, obviously very normal stuff but just find them coming on a lot more (especially if i’m holding something like my ipad, phone or xbox controller for a while)
Fingers feel numb/puffy a lot too. (Likely also why I keep dropping things)
- Also to tie in with skin, have had a on /off spots on chest, face and shoulders for few weeks, they all came up at same time, not irritant or itchy or anything, just there.
General/Other weird things
- Voice - So this is one that frustrates me the most, I have had next to no voice for last maybe 10 weeks. I just cant chat to people at moment. For first 4 weeks wasn't to bad (I even started a youtube channel to keep me occupied and distracted) but slowly week by week it went a little bit more each time. I can talk for short periods of time if I have to/choose to ,like its not gone completely, but it kicks up all the things I mentioned in my throat and mouth directly after. If the phone rings I have to decide if it’s worth answering, in doing so knowing i’m going to have a rough day or so after. Someday’s I feel it's better then others like couple of weeks ago, chatted to my brothers online on xbox for half an hour or so for the first time in weeks, and caught up with a friend on phone for 10 minutes...but a couple of days later everything flared up again. So it's still trial and error and just being patient with my voice. (I'm quite confident no long term damage is being done now as few people in group i’m in reported there voice just eventually got better over time.) Definitely the symptom I’m having to be most patient with.
- Fatigue and tiredness - My days now are normally diddily done by 4-5, (except if its a bad day then most of the day is a write off) No matter how little or much I've done, by 5-6 my body and mind are exhausted.
As someone who has insomnia, pre covid I would maybe have 1-2 all nighters every ten or so days sprinkled in with 5-6 days of at most 3-4 hours sleep.
In the last 17 weeks I have had just 3 all nighters, and maybe just under ten 3-4 hour sleeps. Otherwise i’m getting at least 5+ hours a night. This is the one covid thing I'd like to keep please lol.
I think it's easing a little (most the bad night sleeps have been in last month) and on good days tiredness is kicking in a little later, or it's taking me a little longer to drift off. But generally am cream crackerd a lot of time, especially if I push myself too far on a bad day.
- Loss/Increased appetite - This sort of ties in with what I mentioned earlier about different foods causing set backs, the first 6 weeks I had no appetite and lost a bit of weight (I do put a lot of this down to extreme worry and stress thou)
Then I went thru a phase of being very hungry for a few weeks and put most of the weight I had lost back on. I'm somewhere in the middle now, probably because I know most of anything I eat will set me back a little (because as mentioned fussy git = high histamine diet) so i’m cutting portions (otherwise known as the amount of cheese I add to everything!) and cutting out all most junk food (you’ll never part me from my crisps!) and non healthy drinks.
- Bloated and dehydration - This one I sort of put in pencil because it could be covid related but I also think it could be side effects from the brown asthma inhaler I was prescribed to help with breathing. I’m still undecided as it pops up especially when I was using inhaler more but it does happen days after I’ve last used it. At it’s worse I was getting up to pee a lot! because I was thirsty all the time. So of course was just very bloated around the belly.
*Also talking of peeing, (Great segway Ben) number 1′s and 2′s have been very different then normal, urine thicker and bubbly,and smells/is coloured different, (same with 2′s) Also have a completely different body odour at the moment,(pungent) having to use deodorant twice as much as normal. - Admit it your life’s a little bit better now you know that information.
- THE HEAT! - I touched on this with my mouth and nose being on fire, but for the first 10-12 weeks I did not go a day where at least a couple of things were not burning hot ,like hot to the touch as well, not just inside...(very different experience then having a temperature). Extreme heat in one very specific part of body. Ears, forehead, cheeks, chest, back, nose, mouth,throat to name a few of prominent ones. Over time they have faded (if something does feel hot now its generally not hot to the touch anymore.) Maybe on a bad day a couple of things will burn up. (But in saying that, been calling today a good day but nose is quite hot) but point is its better.
- Mood swings/Anxiety - While i’m fairly confident anything emotional has stemmed from experiencing...well everything you've just read. Rather then it being its own symptom (thou I have had days of uncontrollable crying, days of anger..that perhaps outside of covid I would still of had one of those days but just not to such a extreme, I think with everything going on its just amped that emotion and anxiety up.) it's obviously been very stressful and anxiety inducing. That’s only calmed down in last week since finding the facebook group of other people going thru the same thing. I'm now seeing that people are slowly improving, i'm seeing I've not been going mad and it's all very real and not just happening to me. So the bad days are easier to deal with now and not hitting me emotionally like a ton of bricks anymore. I honestly couldn't see the end of the tunnel two weeks ago but can see it now (even if I take a step forward one day but then 2-3 back another...I see it still.)
*Mushy moment Alert - A good a place as any to include while I'm talking about emotion - Even thou she probs wont see this,but want to mention my mum. She’s been my rock thru all this, she messages me at least twice everyday without fail, since day 1. Even thou I know she's been worried sick about me herself, she's reassured and calmed me down on the harder more stressful days. I dread the mornings when things have gone downhill a bit and having to tell her ,because I know she'll worry, but after a few texts we both end up sort of reassuring and calming the other down. (especially in the earlier days when it was really bad, scary, new and unknown.) When it was really getting me down for a while and I wanted nothing to do with anything covid related and just stay in bed and pretend this wasn't happening to me, she dug out the articles and tips and things to help or give me a boost. (Not to mention all the coming and going she and my step dad have done for me last 4 months and taking care of my shopping for first 9 or so weeks...because I was a useless mess of a human) I know it’s basic mum stuff but this would be 10x harder and lonelier without her. Random detour I know but can’t talk about my covid experience and recovery without mentioning her.
Almost looking forward to sending her the first 'Everything normal today' text as much as I look forward to experiencing it....almost. ;-)
Amount of Symptoms On A Typical Day
On a good day - (when I think virus was at it's worse in the first 10-14 weeks) - 4-6 symptoms ( 2 or 3 cranked up to a medium or high otherwise on mild)
On a bad day - At peak/worse - 6-10 symptoms (throat, chest and no voice on high volume, maybe a couple of things like palpitations and brain fog, heat on medium/high, other weird stuff on mild/low)
Good day - Now 17 weeks in (excluding my voice which is still a medium to high issue most days) - 3-4 Symptoms on low to mild - usually there’s something still simmering on a medium always ready to turn up to a high if I push it too much in terms of walking or talking. (often my chest)
Bad Day (Now) - 4-7 Symptoms - 1 to 3 on medium (maybe a couple will kick up to high on first day of a flare up, but generally now for shorter periods of time.)Everything else on mild or low.
So there has def been improvement in last 6 weeks, i’m sure it wont all be plain sailing and I know/prepare to expect another 'flare up' and then a bad few days. But recently instead of the bad days being 2-3 weeks of it constantly, the duration is getting shorter each time (last bad few days was just under a week) So things are slowly improving, and i’m sure in time so will the amount of symptoms and the strength of each symptom.
I've probably missed a couple of silly/odd little things that have gone on (likely because they were so early on or very brief (or I’ve forgotten) - fever and nausea to name a couple. When I got my notes together these were the main ones that came to mind. Quite a lot actually sitting back reading them, and I think the scary (but good) thing is, x-ray came back fine, bloods came back fine. People have had MRI's, camera’s down there throat, most coming back fine. Covid just not showing up on any tests(unless someones suffered further complications with something) - hence why a lot of people struggling to be taken seriously by there GP's or even loved ones who think there just 'exaggerating’ or its just ‘anxiety and stress'...no living with all what you just read causes anxiety and stress Mary!
But yeah could waffle on, once its definitely gone and I breathe and look back I can perhaps get a better overview of everything and give you better analysis of all that’s gone on. I get asked 'so when do you think it will be gone?' almost as much as 'are you better now?' To the first question, meh I don't know, I'm now into month 4/week 17 (well month 5 if I include last couple of days of Feb when I believe I caught it and had the very mild cold early March) still a lot of things going on with my body, some new things could still pop up, so instead of saying 'I think it will be gone by..' ,like I did in the first weeks. I'm just taking it week by week (or day by day if it kicks up a notch) not making any big demands of myself or my body, doing what I can each day....but not pushing it. Instead of the sad, anxiety inducing thought 'when will it go' or the one all us long haulers worry about a lot ‘Will it ever go?’ I now try to think instead 'it will go!.'
To any fellow long haulers I say hang in there, keep fighting, trust your body and that it will get better. Take it day by day. Stay as positive as you can when everything 'flares up again' after a couple of weeks of good progress (easier said then done I know) but know it wont be forever as much as it feels like it is. Don’t be afraid to ask for help (I hate going to Drs would much rather just 'get on with it' , but from pestering a little I got a blue inhaler which has helped me a lot day to day,and had x-ray and blood tests which also put my mind at ease when they came back clear. So don’t be afraid to ask to get these things checked if you’re worried. I've been lucky with my GP's thou who I think have generally believed me and taken me seriously and I know not everyone is getting that help or respect. I think it’s really not helped us that in the early days people were stubbing their toes and thinking they had caught covid and calling their Dr’s (I’m exaggerating but hopefully you get my point lol), so if you do get a not so helpful interaction, be patient,explain yourself or try again with another Dr, remember a GP will only advise you symptom by symptom and not as a whole. Anyway I’m repeating stuff you already know by now lol.
Stay positive. Stay hopeful and stay safe.
To anyone else, believe us, know this is very real, and that it absolutely sucks. Its not just anxiety or in our head. We're not exaggerating - in fact most of us are probably playing it down or just not elaborating on things for an easy life and because when someone asks 'are you better now?' it's easier to just smile and nod and answer 'getting there slowly' because the truth is...well what you just read lol. (And I'm a particularly mild case...next to no coughing, no spells in A and E, a breeze for a lot of other people with long term)
Keep yourselves safe (most long haulers have no previous medical /problems/conditions. Some ,myself included, have weakened immune systems due to a long term health condition. A unlucky few are fighting another long term medical illness as well as covid. I'm lucky in that I have no dependants (except 4 easy to please gecko's) and was not working prior to catching it - some are having to deal with all this and be full time parents, or have been to and fro with their jobs (thinking there better then relapsing after going back). There’s mums messaging on behalf of there young kids who have it, lots of young people (one of the lads that co runs the group is 22 I believe), there's athletes/health fanatics used to running miles every day been completely knocked of there game unable to even walk to end of road some days. People of all age ranges. Point is anyone can catch it, it might not just be 'a couple of rough weeks' It might take over half a year for you to recover from. This myth that it's short and sweet, or a walk in the park if your young and healthy needs to be squashed because its just not accurate.
If not for my mum and our family and the facebook group I found, (Positive path of wellness - Covid UK Long Haulers) I'd be struggling, really struggling.
It's scary, brutal and lonely. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. The virus is still out there it has not gone.
Keep sanitising hands and wear a mask in busy places!. - Tell the guy who's life this has been for 17 weeks, why wearing a mask in public places, to keep yourself and others safe from catching this nightmare, is a inconvenience for you Karen...go on, I'll wait...
Maybe you can help prevent yours or someone else's next few months from being even worse. x
Was going to just make this a one time post on tumblr account but if it’s a help to anyone (especially fellow long haulers) I’ll post some other bits and bobs when i’m up to it. (thinking of doing a post about things/products etc that I think have been helping me. If that’s useful to anyone) Or just some positive/ funny things to keep spirits up. Keeping it all positive and upbeat as possible.
So I’ll see if anyone reads this first and go from there
So I guess in conclusion ...lol I’m just joking, this post is really done now, go back to your lives, this garbled mess of self woe (worlds smallest violin is back in its case now), sarcasm and naff humour has taken up far too much of all of our days already. Go peacefully amongst the things. :-)
Stay safe everyone x
#covid-19#covid19longhaul#longtermcovid#coronavirus#coronalonghaul#covid 19 symptoms#corona symptoms#long haul covid#covid long haulers#covid recovery#covid uk#corona uk#corona long haulers uk
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
No one asked
And I should be studying, but here are some thoughts for season 16 so far:
(SPOILER WARNING, OBVIOUSLY)
1 - Merluca and it’s parts: COUPLES FIGHT STOP PREDICTING THE WORST OK. They’ve been completely adorable so far, but this is what someone said in a interview: “This is the after in happy ever after” (or something to that effect). They’re gonna fight and them they’re gonna make up, I hope. As for their fight: They were both in the right imo. Yes, Meredith is being inconsequent and it must be so frustrating for Deluca to A)Have her continue risking her career and license and freedom when he went to such lengths to help that, B) Be crapped on constantly bc of something your girlfriend did. Yes, Meredith is completely right in fighting the system that is so throughtly broken, and yes, coming to apologize to her mentor and longtime friend was completely the right thing to do. I wanna see merluca wedding and marriage! Maybe (since there are two pregnant people in this season already?) next season will be Mer and Jo? One can dream! For them individually: Poor Mer, she has bitten more than she can chew but she is ready to take on this fight! Imma love to see her as auntie mer! I mis merjolex so much tho, I know she’s been busy and all but they seem to forget she is a important part in their support system. Andrew has been all over the place. I love his confidence, but in the ep where he literally screamed at Bailey over her trying to teach an intern? And called her out bc she was using a different material than Mer? I was a bit off-thrown. But he’s still a great character I enjoy watching. Hope they find the balance between confidence and arrogance for him, and develop him even more!
2 - Amelink: AAAAAA. They’re so amazing and perfect and sweet and I wanna hug them both. Link is everything you could wish for, Amy is adorable as ever. If they lay a finger on either them as a couple, them as individuals, or their baby, imma kick some asses. I don’t think they will tho, Amy is been through SO MUCH already and she deserves a breath.
3 - Bailey: OMG SHE IS PREGNANT AAAAAAAA. I’m so happy! Ben is already a great dad, this will be so fun to watch! Hope they don’t put her through the ringer with a difficult pregnancy or a sick child, she does not deserve this! She already nearly lost her first child while giving birth in a bomb-y hospital while her husband had brain surgery NEXT to the bomb. Enough pregnancy drama for a lifetime. As for her actions: I’ve said before: I’m pissed, yes. She’s acting way too harsh and taking it out on people and more importantly (as I’ve touched on in my female grey’s characters ranking post) she’s out of character. Where is the Bailey that went around the hospital runnning after the attendings and kicking their asses into signing her proposal for a free clinic? And gave them a speech on how they had failed her and she needed something to believe in in medicine? She was one of the first characters to point out how broken the system was, to take direct action to try and fix it. Sure, she likes to try and work within the rules as much as possible, much she is not adverse to breaking a few of them if she thinks it’s necessary (hello deactivated HIV inside a young boy’s body without parental consent! Hello changing the date on a surgery which is also insurance fraud!)! If she thinks it’ll save a life! But also, she’s not completely wrong: Meredith did commit a crime, as good as her intentions were; As her boss, firing her was the only logical decision. She thought her hospital (which she dedicated a good half of her life to) was being attacked by someone she trained into the surgeon she is, ofc she’d be mad as all hell. Quadri was disrespectful, not doing her job well, actively getting in the way of her superior doing her job, screaming at her boss in the middle of the hallway about how she didn’t want to work there - firing her was a tad extreme (specially for a charact who has never, herself, had any qualms ahout mouthing off to her own superiors when she didn’t think something was right) but not completely out of nowhere. I hate hate hate how they’ll probs throw a “oh she was being crazy bc pregnancy hormones!” line after seeing how her actions have been badly perceived by people (like there isn’t enough a stereotype that women can’t have positions of power because hormones make them crazy) instead of “hey this character was put in extremely uncomfortable and tough positiona after extremely uncomfortable and tough positions and came off as harsher than necessary while trying to balance a world-class hospital crisis”. Ugh.
4 - Jackson: Ok so the last few eps have rekindled my love for him and I’m relieved! There’s the good, kind, funny and smart guy I like! I was mad bc of the whole Jaggie drama, but hey, shit happens! If they will be better apart, then I’m happy! (Ok 50% of this is because of what he said to levi! Stanning Meredith Grey + dorky Harry Potter reference? Yes!!!!). I hope this season will be kind on him, that he and Vicky work out well (from what I gathered about it, she has also been through a lot) and that we see more Harriet!
5 - Maggie: Baby girl. I love that they’re consistent that she has a jealous streak but is also a very good person who is always trying her best. Plus, official womb secret bearer is the best title omg! Maybe she should change from cardio to obgyn, lol! Plus, the sisters are everything to me! She instantaneous knew Amy was mad! She stood up for Mer! Aaaaa I love them!!!! Hope this show ends with all three of them happy and loved and badass as always!
6 - Others: Tom has been an.... Interesting piece. I love him, but his antics are almost caricature-esque now and it’s getting on my nerves. He was detestable in exploitating that family’s pain but also, the hospital did need a pr boost or it’d be in even hotter waters! The restraining order on Owen was a tad much bc it got in the way of patient care, but also he did get electrocuted in a very sensitive area by someone who had just gotten together with his ex - I’d be a little suspicious that it was 100% unintentional tbh. He’s power drunk and needs to be turned down a notch. Schmit and Nico and adorkable as always and I loved Nico’s speech about demanding more of himself - That’s one of the biggest traps of low self-steem and Imm glad it’s mentioned. I’ll miss Quadri. Helm being a MeredithGrey stan first and person second is still me lol. I loved how this last ep showed how much of a family they are - all the connections and shared pasts and references to relationships and what not. The “bird” storyline was so cute! Pac North seems so promissing and I’ll cry ugly tears when my baby Alex turns that ish around and shows everyone who’s boss!!!! The whole “the world is broken” theme of the season is my jam! Sadly, irl that handful of people are not gonna turn it around, but I want to see it happen on my screen! The medical system being fixed! As a future doctor (I promissed myself I’d not be the person who brings it up in every opportunity but lol here I am) it’d make me so happy! Against my better judgment, I’m liking Towen! They are trying, they’re really trying! Owen has done nothing wrong so far (besides offering to milk teddy which was just dumb, not malicious) and has been great at stepping down from his job so she could work! And him at Pac North will be great tbh - as much as I didlike him, he is an excellent doctor and strategist and he was a great chief at GS (until the last bit which was just gross negligence). From the promo for next ep: I don’t think they’ll make Webber cheat again. It’d be predictable and cheap and I’d be so mad that we’d have another round of acting like he’s a saint with a tiny issue of being a cheater. What I theorize is: He’ll have lunch with his friend, and either A) She’ll be friendly at the wrong time and Catherine will walk in and then think he’s cheating and it’ll be a mess, or B) Gemma is gonna try to get him back to drinking (Or maybe C) She was telling him to stop being bullheaded and fighting with his wife when life is so short). Cristina reference in the text omg, my heart!
Sorry for the long rant!
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
ok yall ive never made a sideblog before so this may go rough but ! u kno what 2019 is about us facing our fears ok. in other news this is my new Child callia ( um hi i’m cali ty’s mun if u didnt know ) . i was gonna write out a whole gr8 intro but honestly got lazy lmfao whats new ?? under the cut is the usual, wanted plots and stats and whateva ok xoxo
BASICS !
name: callia ( beautiful voice ) bianca ( after her mother ) donatella ( after donatella versace ) watkins ( welsh surname )
nicknames: calli, cal
age: twenty three
birthday: november 3 1995
zodiac: scorpio
hometown: melbourne, australia
occupation: head engineer at a green tech company
hobbies: working out, partying, watching jeopardy, drawing, reading, trying new foods, going for walks in central park
family: emil watkins ( iron ore mining magnate ) , bianca watkins ( socialite )
style inspo: kendall jenner, elsa hosk, rachel green, 90′s drew barrymore, bella hadid
muse inspo: donna pinciotti, monica geller, tai frasier, mylene cruz, fallon carrington ( career wise )
HISTORY !
ok so if yall haven’t seen the show yummy mummies on netflix gd thats my new addiction / guilty pleasure o shit that show’s hilarious. callia’s family is fully based on carlos and maria ( maria’s this random selfish bitch who’s obsESSED w versace and herself like go watch fr ) so callia grew up wearing only designer, mostly versace and burberry clothing. she didnt rly care when she was a small child but as she started growing up she started like ?? getting shit on by her other for being a regular child & wanting to play when her mom just wanted her to be decor essentially
had a pretty lonely childhood tbh spent most her time with her terror of a mother bc she wasn’t rly allowed to go hang out w other kids & was never involved in school activities. like essentially she only went to whatever prissy academy so her mom could show off her new car or her daughter’s outfits & brag to other moms lmfao
tbh didn’t give a shit about the brands and labels despite their house being covered in head to toe versace everythING she was more interested in sports and actuaL hobbies ?? so she wanted to play sports but wasn’t allowed bc goD FORBID she get a bruise or smth on her perfect skin. so she just started working out on her own in their home gym and found it was a rly good escape from her fam
another method of escape her mother’s grip was by delving into her studies. she was always top of her class and worked so dang hard ( but like also could afford the best tutors and education lmfao) so sis basically could get accepted wherever she wanted to go for post secondary
eventually she was able to convince her parents to let her study abroad for a year in nyc going to stay w her cousin #jessegrove where she was ! finally ! able to escape the clutches of her awful mother and her pushover disconnected father. she told her mother she was going to use the year as research for a career in modeling or fashion or smth bc she knew it’d cater to her moms interests but rly she just needed to get tf out of melbourne and live a normal life
she’s lived in nyc ever since ( since she was 18 - she’s 23 now ) and wanted nothing to do with the expensive brand names she’d grown to despise. so she found herself a condo ( def spent millions on it bc god forbid bianca watkins’ daughter living in anything under 5mil) but didn’t want it to be anything crazy bc she was so over that lifestyle so its def luxurious but very basic and minimal compared to what she grew up with
got into columbia’s earth and environmental engineering program bc she figured she ought to do something good with her smarts and her parent’s money so she went to school to get a degree & got a sweet job at a green tech company where she basically gets to do whatever tf she wants bc she’s the head engineer & makes fat stacks
PERSONALITY !
during the week goOD luck convincing cal to leave the office like she basically lives there but she loves it ??? or shes at home doing facemasks and binging on reality tv like weekday vs weekend shes a completely diff person
weekends like......u better watch out. having grown up so isolated and sheltered callia has come to LOVE the nyc nightlife scene like she will get blackout one night and be ready to get drunk at brunch the next. shes not usually the life of the party moreso bc she enjoys just being a shit disturber and finds it fun lmfao
experiences maJOR fomo
she rly tries to be nice to everyone stemming from a deep need to have friends and be liked lmfao and is overall v approachable and friendly
can come across as fake tho bc she tries to be so nice she won’t disagree w people unelss they’re waY off from her own ideas
is v politically engaged & cares alot abt the environment so she’s vegan, walks most places, will 10/10 give a ted talk if anyone asks more deeply abt her job
honestly she wears mostly like simple clothing. like she just buys what she likes, whether its at h&m or at prada she has a distaste for exclusively brand wardrobes. def mostly walks around in high top converse and levi’s jeans
WANTED PLOTS !
roommates ! the apartment linked above has 4 bedrooms so i’d loVE for 3 lil old roomates :’)
hook ups / fwbs ! all that pent up stress has to come out somewhere lmfao shes tryna get laid at every turn so imma need a bunch of hook up plots ok no specific gender ( unlimited )
best friend ! the mary kate to her ashley, this person understands her inside and out & tbh knows her better than she knows herself. def knows about her crazy mother & can put up w the rants ( open )
friends from college ! they prob have wild stories abt college parties & have seen one anohter at their worst. preferably someone who went to columbia also ( open )
mutual dislike ! they think callia’s annoying and preachy, she thinks they’re rude and devil’s spawn bc they’re not as passionate abt environmental issues ( open )
exes ( she ghosted on them ) ! pls ok pls i need many !!!! cal’s so willing to adapt her personality to fit w whoever she’s with so she prob would be rly lovey dovey and make it seem like they were perfect for each other and meant to be but she low key lied abt everything, her family, her background, her feelings for them, etc. she prob thought they were ok but wasn’t rly into them besides for sex. so eventually she just got so invested in her work she ghosted on them ! i imagine them dating for a while too like maybe a year & they never met her family or rly got to know her bc she was hella guarded ( open ! )
exes ( on good terms ) ! they dated when she was new to nyc - she was like oooh an american they were like ooh an australian & tbh their sex life was gr8 but they didn’t rly have much going except for that so they called it off. they’re still friends & sometimes laugh abt the relationship ( open ! )
current fling ! they’re hanging out , might be moving towards exclusivity but aren’t there yet, its casual ( open ! )
sibling like relationship ! she never had siblings so she always felt like that aspect was missing from her life. she prob treats them like a sibling, asking if they’ve eaten and keeping up to date on their life. she cares alot & has good intentions but can sometimes be seen as over protective and pushy ( open ! )
ok yall im tired of writing this shit props to yall who do like literal essays, bullet points are even too much for me. LIKE THIS n ill slide into yo dms ok thanks for coming to my ted talk
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
Driving Me Wild
I think this one is shorter than usual but it’s done and that’s what matters after all this time right? XDD Its also a little more serious than usual but well i had a rough week some feelings sneaked into this. Anyway i very very hope you guys enjoy this!
The Bold Way
“So what comes next, prof?” She asks him between a mouthful of pizza. She is on his house, eating his food and her dad is supposed to come pick her up soon. He has been kind of avoiding the topic of teaching her how to flirt all weekend and she is curious to know what comes next. If anything comes next, maybe he is done with this whole situation already.
She wouldn’t blame him she just needs to know what comes now, even if it’s nothing.
“Well we need to keep studying for your math test.” He says after swallowing his pizza bite, like the rich snob he is.
“I don’t mean that, you dork.” She tells him rolling her eyes. “Though it is important, yes.”
“Ah, you mean the other thing.” He says and he seems a little hesitant.
“Yes, the flirting thing.” She says slowly. “We don’t have to keep going if you don’t want, you know?”
“No, no, no.” He says shaking his head. “It’s okay, I just got distracted with our tests and homework and all.”
She just nods and starts picking at the crust of the homemade pizza he made them. Luna sighs. Matteo is always helping her and taking care of her in some way or another and it’s not like she is a bad friend or something but sometimes she wishes she could do the same for him, she is kind of a mess, she is not good at taking care of people and there’s not much she can actually help him with when he has almost everything in life figured out already. But something good she must be doing, there must be a reason he keeps her around, she just hopes this reason is good enough that maybe he could see her as something more than just friends.
“I guess what comes next is the bold way.” Luna jumps a little, startled. She hadn’t realized matteo was still thinking of this.
“And what is that?” She asks.
“It’s exactly what it sounds like.” He tells her. “You just make it very very clear you like this person.”
“How do you do that?” She asks perking up, this one she wants to know.
“I don’t know.” He shrugs. “Pick up lines I guess, telling them they look good or hot or complimenting them a lot.”
She nods, this she can do, she is very bad at pick up lines so she will probs go for some funny ones but she hopes that it works too and telling Matteo how well he looks or how good he is at something is always at the tip of her tongue but he is so egocentric she keeps it all inside she will just have to let it out. And hope his ego doesn’t get too big to fit into his house.
“I can do that.” She mumbles and he chuckles.
“Yes, you can, of course.” He says.
“I don’t know if you are saying this sarcastically or not.” She announces sitting more straight. “But I am gonna do this greatly, spectacularly even, you will be amazed at how good I will be at this.”
“I can’t wait.” He says laughing, but there’s something weird on that laugh.
Day 1
She wouldn’t say she has low self esteem or anything like this but she is definitely not the most confident person on earth either, so just boldly approaching someone and telling how good looking they are to her or how hot she thinks they are how much she likes them is never an actual option. Luna, as most people in this world, is quiet afraid of rejection in emotional matters.
Which is why she rather take this whole thing, at least on the beginning, as something humorous, it’s easier to go with something funny and light than say something honest and see how he reacts, see how weird he might find it or hoe uncomfortable he might be with it.
So by monday morning she has armed herself with a bunch of pick up lines she found on google and is ready to use them.
She is almost giddy about this whole thing, she wants to see how Matteo reacts, this is the closest she thinks she will get to seeing how Matteo feels about them maybe being something other than friends, maybe he will feel flattered, maybe this will help him think of her as something else, she honestly has no idea what could happen but there’s excitement buzzing on her skin as she walks through the hallways of the school looking for Matteo.
She sees him talking to Ramiro exactly where he had texted her he was and a she takes a deep breath to not give in to her giggles.
“Hi.” She says normally and Matteo turns to her slowly but before he can talk she continues. “Are you wearing space pants?”
“Luna no.” He says when he realizes what she is doing but the the way his eye slight up and the corners of his lips lift contradict his horrified expression
“Cause your ass is out of this world.” She says as seriously as it’s possible and Matteo dissolves into loud laughter in a matter of seconds, his laugh fills the hallways and people look a them. Luna can’t help it and starts laughing herself loud and free, and proud too, to be honest.
“You two are the fucking weirdest.” Ramiro says before leaving with a wave. Probably not willing to deal with this so early. She can’t blame him.
“I can’t believe you.” Matteo says wheezing and struggling to breath.
“You told me to use pick up lines.” She defends herself through laughs.
“Not this kind Valente, please.” He tells her and she pretends to pout.
“The rest of the day is going to be very bad then.” She says sadly and Matteo looks at her surprised.
“Please, no.” He starts and Luna sighs.
“But I already learned them I can not use them.” She tells him with puppy eyes and he actually facepalms.
“Luna, no, for real this is the worst.” He tells her still laughing.
“Are you saying you don’t like my pick up lines?” She asks. “I think they are great.”
“You are lying and we both know it.”
“No, i do think they are great.” She says seriously. “Here, listen to this one.”
“I am going to class.” He says and starts walking, so Luna starts walking behind him.
“Are you a parking ticket?” She asks laughing already.
“No!” He exclaims and puts his hand over his ears knowing well that she will keep talking.
“Cause you've got fine written all over you.” She exclaims happily and he she can hear a muffled sound coming from him.
“Go to class!” He exclaims. “Leave me alone!”
“You know, Matteo?” She asks. “if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged”
“This is harassment.” He says seriously as she turns around. “I’m gonna complain with the principal.”
“I can not believe you don’t like this.” She tries to pout but her smile doesn’t really let her.
“You need better pick up lines, delivery girl.” He tells her. “This are not working at all.”
“But they are pick up line.” She says with a shrug.
“Yes, but the other person will think you are taking this as a joke.” He tells and she sighs. “You gotta be more sincere or at least more original and personal.”
“Okay what about this?” She asks before taking a deep breath, he says nothing so she just goes on, looking straight into his eyes as serious as she can. “You know how they say the eyes are the mirror to the soul? I think you have the most beautiful soul I have ever seen.”
He stays quiet looking at her and she has no idea why or how, she knows she has been silly , she know she has been weird and maybe he is just thinking how bad she is at this, how dumb she is and how this is a lost cause maybe he is trying to find the words to break it to her and not be mean in the process.
“Yeah, that’s better” He says clearing his soul. “But pick up lines are seriously not your thing, Luna.”
She nods and says nothing as they keep walking to class. He doesn’t say anything either until he says goodbye when leaves her on her classroom.
⭐
The rest of the day passes normally but every day she is questioning more and more what this really is. The thing is that even after all of this, even after Matteo is supposed to be teaching her how to flirt and showing her sometimes their relationship hasn’t changed that much and she has no idea what this means. A little hopeful part of her tells her that maybe it is because in some way their relationship has always been like this in some way, always playful, always considered, always supportive and that this means something, that maybe it feels something for him too. Other, much bigger much more realistic part tells her that it’s because this is normal for him, that this is how he treats people and most girls even, he is a flirt by nature she knows that and as much as she wants to believe that he treats her in a special way it’s not true, he treats many more people like this and no matter if she is special to him or one of his closest friends this is not reflected in this very particular way.
She sighs, she hates this, she hates wondering and being unsure, she hates not knowing what she really means for one of the most important people of her life, she hates feeling on the fence, so incredibly important sometimes, so incredibly normal some others. She hates thinking that one day she will see him find someone truly important and special, someone who will get him, who will understand him and little by little she will see how this person becomes something bigger than she is in his life, something better. She believes on him enough to know that no matter what they will always be friends, he will always be there for her. But this idea hurts her in ways she never thought it was possible to hurt before. It makes a heavy feeling fall and settle on her stomach making her feel uncomfortable and uneasy.
She takes her phone and opens instagram needing a distraction but of course as always instagram knows how to attack her and the first thing it does is show her that matteo has posted an story, it’s first of every other, the pink and orange circle around it almost burning her eyes. She hesitates but ends up tapping on it. What else can she do?
She finds something she was very not ready for. Matteo, probably in one of the many boring dinners his parents make him go to, making a very serious face in front of a very expensive looking and big mirror, the camera moves up and down his body, showing his black suit and how well it fits him and then back to his face with those intense serious eyes, it happens, once twice, thrice and with every move she can see how well it fits him, how tight it is on his arms and shoulders and how well he looks in dark colors. Heat pools on her lower stomach and courage takes over her, she quickly types an answer to his story.
“You look really hot in a tux.”
She blocks her phone with hands almost shaking and decides she should go to bed early today, she doesn’t look at her phone again that night.
Day 2
When she wakes up the next day she has no instagram notifications, there’s no texts either and she feels something heavy on her chest, she refuses to open the app knowing full well she would end on her chat with Matteo staring at those little letters telling her the exact time the text was seen and he decided that it wasn't worth an answer.
But it doesn’t matter, she won’t take it personally, she will go about her day normally no matter if this stings a little, or maybe a lot. She will do her best today to act normal and nice and do this flitting thing right.
She goes to school as always and the fact that Matteo texted her to ask if she was awake already eases her a little but not completely, him not answering to her comment and the many thoughts that refused to leave her mind last night have make her unsure and kind of anxious.
Which is probably why she jumps so high when someone sneaks behinds her and pokes her on the ribs. It’s probably why she lets out a little scream too.
“Sorry, sorry, I am so sorry.” She hears Matteo say and she can’t even turn around before he is throwing his arm around her shoulders and looking down at her with sparkling eyes. “You were just so distracted, I had to do it.”
“That was very mean, Matteo.” She tells him, her heart is still beating a little faster than usual and he squeezes her shoulders softly.
“I am sorry, really.” He says still smiling, he has an easy smile today, like he can’t keep it away no matter how much he tries so he has given up and lets it light up his whole face.
She likes seeing him like this, so light , so relaxed.
“You look happy today.” She comments.
“I had a good night yesterday.” He says simply and many ideas that make her stomach turn and twist pass through her mind, she ignores them.
“Well you look great like this.” She says simply and he pulls her closer as they start to walk.
“I do?” He asks and Luna nods.
“Yeah, you look cute.” She tells him and he nods after they meet their friends he lets go but soon enough he is holding her hands.
She doesn’t hear a thing anyone says, she is too busy focusing on the way he is playing with her fingers.
⭐
After the last class of her day is done Matteo is waiting for her, it’s not weird but it’s still strange enough that she is surprised to see him and runs to him, she had good news for him anyway so this just means she doesn’t have to save them until she meets in in the roller.
“Hiii.” She exclaims happy and he grins back at her, the easy and almost smug smile hasn’t left his face all day and she can admit that every time she sees him like this butterflies come alive inside of her fluttering pleasantly on her stomach.
“Well, hello, Cucciola.” He says and she rolls her eyes at the foreign nickname he uses sometimes for her. “You seem very excited.”
“I am very excited indeed, chico fresa. “She says. “And not just because you are here.”
His grin grows even bigger at this, his eyes turning soft, and kind, and happy in ways she doesn’t really know enough words to explain, she wishes he was always like this, she wishes she could always make him smile like this.
She wishes she could tell him how utterly beautiful he is right now, how happy his smile makes her and how it makes her skin buzz and his heart come alive in many different ways.
“Ta da.” She says instead putting a paper sheet in front of his eyes and his happy grin turns into a proud smile the moment that he sees what it is. “Perfect mark, in chem even. “
“I told you you could do it.” He tells her happily hugging her tight. She hugs him back taking this moment to relish on the smell of his perfume and how good it feels to be between his arms.
“I couldn’t have done it without the smartest, bestest personal tutor of all times.” She says when she pulls away, she always pull away first, afraid that he will feel something else on her hugs, find weird that she is holding on for too long.
“Don’t take credit off yourself.” He says his hand resting on her cheek softly. She freezes completely, she doesn’t move, she doesn’t want to do anything that might make him take it away, much less now that he is caressing her skin softly with his thumb. “You are super smart, Luna, don’t forget that.”
She can feel herself blushing as her mouth dries and her tongue fails to work so she can say something, anything. Matteo doesn’t seem to mind though and his eyes stay on hers, his hand stays on her cheek for what feels like eons.
Some other students passing by are noisy enough to distract them and as Matteo smiles at her and moves his hand slowly down her arm and into the small of her back to make then start walking, she needs to remind herself how to breath again.
Day 3
She doesn’t actually notice Daniel at first, she really doesn’t.
How could she when out of the sudden Matteo is sitting even closer to her than usual, his thigh pressed against hers, his breathing brushing her neck whenever he talks and tries to explain something to her. He is so so close and she need to put all her energy into being normal, into ignoring the heat that pools on her stomach and the images that flash behind her eyes whenever she blinks. She puts all her focus on fighting the impulse to kiss him.
He gets closer, so so close and she feels like she is a tiny little mouse, trapped by the hypnotic snake, being eaten doesn’t sound so awful now. Nothing does if he gets just tiny closer.
But of course none of this will happen he will just keep explaining boring math exercise in this low, low voice and she will keep trying to breath normally as she keep crossing her legs tighter.
And then he rests his hand on her knee, is such a casual touch, and he doesn’t seem any phased by it, like he had done it thousands of time before and like his touch is not sending electric signs through all skin, like the way he is moving his thumb right now is not awakening every nerve on her body, like this soft soft touch doesn’t her make her heart skip a beat, and her lower stomach pool with a heat so intense she is surprised, his hand goes higher, just tiniest and the brush of his palm, his course fingers against her bare smooth skin is enough to make her all dizzy, she has pictured this so many times in so many ways. But it won’t end up as her dreams always do, she knows this, because Matteo is completely normal.
She sneaks a look at him and he is still talking something about limits and numbers and he doesn’t seem affected at all while she feels like her whole world has been turned around in just a few seconds. He is just being normal, he has been more touchy since yesterday, he has been happier this is probably just a side effect of that.
Or she thinks so until she realizes that he is sending looks to something, to someone, it’s subtle but his eyes keep being pulled into that direction, she doesn’t notice at first that it is a particular place and not just movement calling his attention.
She looks to the table to where he is looking. Daniel is there. She frowns but Daniel catches her eyes, he seems annoyed about something but he still smiles when their eyes meet. She smiles back, of course. And suddenly Matteo’s arm is around her shoulders pulling her almost into his lap with how close they end up, she looks at him confused but he keeps acting like nothing is happening. She sends another look at Daniel who rolls his eyes before looking down at his notebook. She pouts and looks back at Matteo.
“Are you okay?” She asks and he just hums. He looks towards Daniel and he smiles, looking somehow smug but why would he?
“I am perfect, Cucciola.” He says casually, his hand now goes from her thigh to her hands playing softly with her fingers as he keeps writing with his free hand and making sure she got her exercises right.
“You are acting weird.” She says softly and he looks at her raising an eyebrow.
“Am I?” He asks and he is daring her to explain more, he is daring her to say what he is doing that is weird,he is daring her to say how this makes her feel, how this affects her, why this doesn’t feel normal to her. His eyes are firm, steady, but still she feels this small hint of mischief and challenge, she looks away, she can’t win this, she wishes she could, she wishes she had the courage to just say it but she doesn’t. So she looks away.
“You are a weirdo.” She says shaking her head, her eyes sneak to Daniel again he seems very unhappy about something. Matteo tickles her softly and she squeals.
“I am not a weirdo.” He says firmly with a small grin growing on his lips.
“Yes, you are.” She says and then softly pokes his nose. “But you are my weirdo.”
The grin takes over his face completely and the way his eyes are sparkling makes her heart beat just a little faster, just a little happier.
He keeps her close through all the studying session and she doesn’t pull away either.
Day 4
She hadn’t planned on having a nap, not that she usually does it, naps just tend to take her away from the world by surprise and quickly, one moment she is on her phone and the other she is deep in dreamland. But today she was definitely not planning to nap. She was supposed to get home and change clothes and tidy her room and maybe help her mom in the kitchen and she waited for Matteo to come and help her study.
What ends up happening though, is that she falls asleep and when she wakes up her mom is softly shaking her and telling her that Matteo is here already.
She sits up so fast she almost hits her head with her mom’s and her heart is beating fast in that uncomfortable way that it does when you are woken up from a too deep nap. Sleep is lingering on her, on her eyes, on her brain and as her mother laughs hse struggles to put on some shoes and and gather her chemistry books and and somehow finds herself going to Matteo, even if she almost falls down the stairs at least once as she goes.
She rushes and finds him sitting on her kitchen table nibbling on her mom’s brownies, he is still blurry to her. So she blinks once, twice and it’s probably weird because Matteo is staring back at her almost confused.
“Good afternoon, delivery girl.” He says when she doesn’t talk after a while and she shakes her head trying to get the fog out of her brain.
Her mom seems very amused as she is is putting away the clean plates and glasses and Luna sighs as she sits next to him.
“You seem refreshed.” He says sarcastic and she hears her mom snort as she leaves the room.
“I am sorry.” She mumbles and rubs her eyes. “I just kinda fell asleep so I am just waking up from a nap so I am lostest.”
“I can see that.” He says softly with a chuckle.
“I’m sorry.” She says with a sigh before laughing softly. “I probably look like such a mess.”
“Yes you do.” He says laughing and she pouts. “But messy suits you.”
She doesn’t know what to answer to this, she just blushes softly and looks down with a small smile opening her chem book. He does the same.
“Messy looks hot you.”He adds after a few short seconds and Luna knows that there’s nothing that hits her chest and takes out all the air of her lungs. But it feels like this.
She freezes, she hopes it’s not obvious but she freezes, her sleepy brain can’t really process what just happened, she is too slow, too groggy and to add to the fog of sleep the the heat that raises to her face and chest fills her mind with what feels like steam.
She can’t think, she can’t do anything. She is rendered a complete and utter mess with just four words of him and she has no idea if he knows, if he knows the full effect he has on her.
If he knows how the smallest, tiniest gesture from him can take her mind and body into overdrive, if he knows how easy is for him to leave her speechless and lost, if he knows that with one look he makes her feel in ways she had never felt before, if he knows that she has felt so much more than she has ever thought possible because of him.
“So have you done any of the exercises yet?” He asks casually and Luna sighs.
He has no idea at all.
Day 5
“I’m almost sad it’s friday.” Matteo comments as they leave the Blake and Luna sends him a look. How can he be sad it’s friday? What normal human being is sad that it’s friday? Especially him, who goes out with Ramiro and has plans and does stuff besides sleeping, not that there is anything wrong with sleeping mind you, sleeping in friday is great. Fridays are fantastic no matter what.
“Why?” She demands, just completely confused. “Do you want to go to school seven days a week now, Matteo? Is this waking up early torture not enough for you?”
“I don’t wake up that late on weekends either, you little lazy lady.” He says bumping her shoulder with his and making her stumble. She sends him a dirty look and he smiles and moves his eyelashes innocently, his stupid very long eyelashes. He is so pretty, she hates it sometimes.
“You are not a human being, Matteo Balsano.” She says shaking her head dramatically, trying to seem disgusted.
“No, I know.” He says with a heavy sigh. “I’m a god.”
The laugh is not intentional and not exaggerated at all, it's just pure sincere laugh and she needs to stop walking to laugh properly. Matteo stops with her of course a pout on his lips and Luna quickly shakes away the urge to bite that lower lip. The way he has been this week is giving her issues.
“You do kinda look like one.” She says through laugh, it comes out almost sarcastic but now quite and he is obviously very confused over the fact if she means it or not. Exactly as she intended to.
“Okay but for real this is what I’ll miss.” He says rolling his eyes and pulling one of her curls softly to annoy her.
“What?” She says battling his hands away from her hair, once he starts no one can’t stop him and he ends up playing with her hair for hours and making it a mess, or even more of one than usual.
“You saying so many nice things about me.” He shrugs. “Giving me so many compliments.”
She stays quiet looking at him confused.
“I didn’t even know you thought so many good things about me.” He says casually.
She looks at him shocked, she didn’t expect this from him and he is kinda joking but also not really and she doesn’t like it. She thinks for a second that it’s an ego thing but no matter how much he tries to hide it Matteo is insecure or he can be, very, very insecure, sometimes he is so unsure of himself, one would never guess it, seeing how he carries himself around, how he talks, how he moves, and a lot of times that bravado that confidence is true but so many others is just a facade, a mask he puts on to make sure people stay at a certain distance. Luna has learned how to look through, she has learned to, not break down his walls exactly, he doesn’t always have them high and indestructible, he lets people in, but she has managed to slip through that door unnoticed by him. And yes maybe this is just an ego thing, maybe he just really loves hearing how amazing and great and talented he is. That would be very Matteo too, there’s no doubt but she is not sure right now and she doesn’t want him thinking for a moment that she doesn’t think the world and more of him.
“You know that I think you are amazing, right?” She asks and he is obviously startled by the shift of the conversation from playful to serious.
“Yes, yes.” He hurries to say, a little uncomfortable. “I was just joking.”
“But still.” She says firmly. “You gotta know that I think you are one of the greatest persons I have ever met, that I am so grateful that you are in my life, that I think you are so talented and smart and amazing and you are just such a beautiful person and sometimes I don’t know how I would manage things without you here in Argentina, you have been one of my main supports and you are always helping me so much, you are always saving me, you do so much for me,I wished I could do just a small amount of that for you and I must be such a sucky friend here if you don’t even realize any of this.”
“Luna.” He calls to make her stop and she does, slightly surprised by the words that rushed out of her mouth. She didn’t expect this level of intensity from herself. “You do so much for me.”
“What?” She asks with a frown. “No, I don-”
“Yes, you do.” He says firmly, resting his hands on her shoulders. “You might not help me with my homework or make sure I don’t get injured daily but it’s obvious for everyone how much I have changed since you came here, you have made me lighter, you have taken a weight of my shoulders, you brighten each one of my days, you have helped me grow into myself more than anyone else, you have taught me how to laugh and be carefree in many ways I didn’t know before, you just make everything better and so much easier and I just know that whenever I need it you will be there for me, that you will always be there by my side cheering on me and supporting me. You help me so, so much just by being you.”
He stops talking and she nods, she has no idea what else is she supposed to do, she feels like she is overcomed with every emotion possible in this very moment, she doesn’t think human beings are allowed to feel as much as she does when Matteo looks at her with those deep, serious, intense brown eyes. She is overwhelmed. She is so overwhelmed.
“So no more saying you are a bad friend.” He says firmly. “You are one of the best friends possible for me and for everyone and I can not let you think otherwise, okay?”
“Okay.” She manages to mumble and Matteo hugs her tightly. She hugs him back on autopilot. Her brain still hasn’t caught up to what he said and her heart is divided.
He said so many great things about her, but the word friend echoes in her chest. It should sting. But it does so much.
She decides to focus on the positive side and tightens her arms around him.
If he loves her like this, does it really matter in what way it is?
25 notes
·
View notes
Note
all the questions for main trio :D
HOOOO boy long post ahead. it was fun tho.
1. What is your character’s greatest secret?Does your character have good aim?
all 3 of them do, but ray’s aim is probably the most precise.
2. What would history remember your character for?
wink wonk
3. Does your character prefer to work in silence or with noise and of what kind?
Moiren and Ray: silence
Hayve: Quiet ambience, but it doesn’t really matter what type. As long as it’s quiet, cause otherwise he’ll get distracted.
4. Has your character ever been handcuffed or tied up?
Moiren and Ray: no
Hayve: He’s been “handcuffed” but it was rope, not a handcuff. “Tied up” isn’t the right word for it tho lol
5. Can your character cook?
all of them can, but none of them are good at it. Hayve is probably the best but he’s still not great.
6. Do any of your characters have depression?
Yea. Of the “main three,” Ray definitely has it but Moiren probably has a much more minor case of it.
8. Who has the worst luck?
It’s probably safe to say all 3 of them, but prob Moiren or Ray. Of all my ocs, Aisa and/or Alistair.
9. Could your character win an arm wrestling competition? How well would they do?
Moiren: She could, unless it’s against a really strong person. She’d do okay– she’s strong for her age but not like, super strong.
Ray: He isn’t as strong as Moiren, but he’s still decently strong so he could potentially win. He might not even try to win though, so he’d lose.
Hayve: He could definitely win. Especially if he could earn money out of it.
10. Would your character give up the chance to come back to life as a god so that someone else could be saved?
It’s a yes all around the board– though, it depends who the other person would be. Ray would be the most likely to do it regardless of the person, and Moiren the least.
11. What is your character’s favorite historical or fairy tale figure?
ray’s would be the witch and warrior duo from a legend his mom told them when they were kids.
12. Would your character marry someone their family didn’t approve of?
i mean, all of them probably would, but considering they are each other’s family it would take a lot for one of them to not approve of someone
13. Do/Did any of your characters have large ears they had to grow into as a kid?
moiren and ray: not particularly
hayve: no, but his head was Big as a toddler
14. Are any of your characters nonverbal?
not as of now, though in an early draft of the story, ray was
15. Did your character ever want to be a cowboy?
moiren and ray: no
hayve: no, he wanted to be a pirate
16. How does the way your character present themselves in public differ from how they are in private?
moiren: she comes off as very cold/mean/uncaring/apathetic in public, and tho she isn’t the NICEST person out there, in private (aka mostly with her brothers) she does genuinely care about things and she can be gentle. or she can be mean but it’s with love.
ray: he is unbelievably shy but in private he can get more.. mouthy. like, he doesn’t really hesitate to shut someone down if they’re being dumb (looks @ moiren).
hayve: he acts very confident about everything but he Is Not
17. How petty is your character?
moiren: Very Petty
ray: he’s not really petty
hayve: moderately
19. Does your character like carrots?
moiren and hayve are indifferent to them, Ray does not like them but he tolerates them because it’s Food
20. How self-confident is your characters?
moiren: meh. she has some self-confidence, but she also looks down on herself a lil too much.
ray: he barely has any
hayve: he underestimates himself a bit
21. Do any of your characters have heterochromia?
nope. i was considering giving nile heterochromia for a little, though.
22. Do any of your characters have someone named after them? Or are they named after someone else?
moiren was almost named after someone, but in the end she wasn’t.
23. Do any of your characters have facial markings?
ray has an old scar on his forehead, but it’s barely visible and also hidden behind his bangs.
24. What is your character’s opinions on squirrels?
moiren: she believes that they are all low-key evil
ray: he feels guilty the times he has to eat them
hayve: he doesn’t really care either way. sometimes they hunt em
25. Does your character experience sexism for the job/title they hold? (ie: she’s a girl, she can’t be x,y,z because only boys can be)
moiren’s probably experienced some, but like not a LOT. she’s more likely to get comments based on being a young (16 year-old) girl doing some tougher jobs than ray is even though they are literally the same age
26. Are any of your characters missing fingers?
no but that’s a Good Idea
27. Does your character know how to tie different kinds of knots?
yes, but ray is probably the best at it.
28. How much does your character giggle?
moiren and hayve: they both snicker more than giggle
ray: a pretty decent amount and it’s Adorable
29. Are any of your characters nameless? (In that there is no legal record of them existing, they just don’t have names in canon, or history remembers them but not their name?)
technically there wouldn’t be any legal record of moiren and ray, i have some characters that probably won’t get names in canon because they are minor, and there’s some characters that are nameless to history
30. How independent was your character as a teen?
moiren: she’s pretty independent, though she does do a lot of things with ray (or hayve, but typically if she’s doing things “alone” it’s with ray.)
ray: same as moiren
hayve: he basically took over the role of guardian for moiren and ray when he was a teen so he was pretty independent. he had to be.
31. How much does your character care about their appearance?
all of them care a little, but there’s only so much they can care when on the road
32. Do you have any characters who are twins?
moiren and ray are twins. there’s one more set of twins, but only one of them is actually gonna be a character in the story. The other one does come up, though.
33. Does your character like math? How good are they at it?
hayve probably likes math the most, but none of them are good at like. complex things. they each know enough to survive in the world tho
34. Do any of your characters collect sea-shells or wear shell jewelry?
hayve collects sea-shells a little. he did more-so as a kid.
35. Naptime, yes or no?
moiren: no.
ray: In Theory
hayve: nope.
36. Would your character prefer to sit around and chill or be up and moving and doing something?
moiren: Definitely doing something
ray and hayve: a little of both
37. Did any of your characters have a fever they almost died from as a child?
technically not a fever, but moiren and ray were premature and moiren’s lungs were weak so as a newborn she was bouncing back and forth a little
38. Does your character worry about breaking the rules and getting in trouble?
none of them really do, though ray is the most nervous about it.
39. Do any of your characters have the responsibilities of an adult despite being a child, or did they when they were?
they all do, but hayve the most. I mean, at 14/15 years old he basically became the caregivers for his younger siblings and had to figure out everything so…
40. If a loved one died, how long would they stay in mourning?
all of them would struggle with it and mourn for a VERY long time.
41. Do other people around your character dictate their life or do they get to choose for themselves?
i guess you could say that moiren, ray and hayve each impact each other’s lives but to some extent they choose for themselves? A lot of it is just based on survival, though.
42. Did/do any of your characters have an arranged marriage?
yes.
43. Do you have any widows/widower characters?
the troye mom™ was technically widowed but she’s dead now too so like. does that count?
44. Are any of your characters overshadowed by other siblings? Or have parents who clearly have a favorite? (ex: Boromir and Faramir)
ray sometimes feels overshadowed by moiren and hayve, but not always
45. Would your character kill someone to get what they want?
moiren and hayve: depends
ray: no
46. Does your character prefer to lead or follow?
moiren: lead
ray: follow
hayve: lead
47. Has your character ever stolen anything?
all of them have, but hayve has The Most
48. Are any of your characters apprentices?
technically ameryli is? was?
49. Are any of your characters certified Bird Nerds ™?
nile could probably be considered a bird nerd but she’s also just a Nerd
50. Are any of your characters Good Dads ™?
in theory.
51. Do any of your characters have grandparents who are named and living in canon?
yes!
52. Would your character prefer to have history know the truth or have many different versions of their life?
moiren: different versions
ray: truth
hayve: he honestly wouldn’t be sure
53. What if the furthest your character has ever walked in a given stretch of time?
considering they’d sometimes travel for a day at a time, pretty far. i don’t know an actual distance though, that’s too much work.
54. Would your character prefer to visit a new city or stay at home?
all three of them are tired of new cities and want a Home
55. Do you have any characters who despite trying their best ended up being horrible parents?
probably
56. Do any of your characters have step-family?
I guess you could call Moiren and Ray’s biological dad Hayve’s stepfather? He never really considered him that, though. It was more like he was just his dad, or at the very least his adoptive dad.
57. Do any of your characters consistently wear hats?
…none..
58. Does your character prefer the ocean or the mountains?
moiren and ray: mountains
hayve: ocean
59. What kinds of things does your character use as paperweights?
moiren probably wouldn’t use anything. Ray would probably use pens, and hayve would use seashells
60. If faced with certain death, would your character continue to speak out against injustice?
moiren and hayve probably wouldn’t, ray might
61. Have any of your characters struggled with addiction?
yea (some of these “have any of your characters” aren’t talking abt moiren/ray/hayve but just. other characters from disintegrating. including this one. doesn’t ask who tho-)
62. Have any of your characters adopted anyone?
i mean moiren/ray’s dad basically adopted hayve. also you could argue aisa technically (temporarily-) adopted someone?
63. How far would your character go to help those in need?
moiren: it depends on who that person was
ray: pretty far, if he could
hayve: far enough that it didn’t put anyone else in danger, including himself
64. Do your characters know any old blind swordsmen per the trope?
nope
65. Is your characters energetic?
moiren: nope
ray: nah
hayve: kinda
66. How much of a disappointment/scandal to their family is your character?
FJLDSAHKFADG
67. Would your character be willing to do something they consider morally wrong in order to achieve their goals?
moiren and hayve might (though depends on what said goals were), ray wouldn’t.
68. Are any of your characters intimidatingly beautiful?
gaelin thinks nile is intimidatingly beautiful
69. Has your character ever found themselves in with the wrong crowd and had to attempt to break from it?
not really but kinda?
70. Does your character have any guarded/secret guild knowledge or family recipe?
nope
71. How good is your character at reading people and navigating social situations?
moiren: not the best
ray: he will self destruct
hayve: he’s great and the lifeline of this family
72. Would your character care for someone who needed it if it meant being ostracized from their society?
arguably, they’re not part of a “society” but ray probably would try, hayve may if it’s safe for his lil bro and sis, and it’s all situational for moiren
73. Has your character been to/ ever explored any ruins?
not ruins in what this question is probably meaning, but they’ve passed through the remnants of towns and such that don’t exist anymore.
74. Are any of your characters associated with flowers?
for some reason, i associate lilies with moiren, carnations (specifically pink) for ray, and chrysanthemums with both of them. basically, funeral flowers lmao
75: Do any of your characters wear glasses, sunglasses, goggles, or monocles?
nile originally had goggles, but i doubt i’m keeping that because i wanna redesign her outfit
76: Would your character like to live on a farm and raise sheep?
All Three Of Them Would
77. Have any of your characters had to kill a friend?
uhhhhhhhhhh technically yes. (again, not moiren/ray/hayve).
78. Have any of your characters been exiled from their society?
again technically yes???
79. What is a humanizing thing about a villain/antagonist/generally horrible person character that you have?
it’s what they were raised to believe
80. Was your character ever considered shy?
moiren and ray: yes (and it’s true tbh)
hayve: Nope.
81. Does your character look like what others think they should from their reputation?
moiren: probably? but hayve teases her that she looks nicer than she is because she looks like ray
ray: yea
hayve: Definitely
82. Describe your character’s handwriting.
Moiren writes with small letters, but they get jumbled together sometimes because she writes quickly. Ray also writes with small letters but they are very narrow and he has very deep curls that loop on themselves on letters like g/j/y. Hayve has large lettering that are very wide and circular.
83. Did/do any of your characters start a dynasty?
nah
84. Do any of your characters have gaps in their teeth or are missing teeth?
not really
85. Has your character ever been led down the wrong path because of their anger?
moiren: probably
ray: not yet
hayve: no
86. Is your character’s fear reaction to fight, flight, or freeze?
moiren: fight
ray: freeze
hayve: fight or flight, depending on if he’s alone or with others.
87. What are your character’s nails like?
all three of have like. at the very least slightly chipped nails that aren’t gonna be perfect ever because they… live out in The World, but Hayve’s are probably the worst.
88. Are any of your characters part of a spy network?
nope
89. Would your character throw themselves in harms way to protect a loved one?
moiren: yes
ray: yes
hayve: Definitely
90. Can your character start a campfire?
they all can, but surprisingly despite being the only one doing it for a few months in the past, hayve is Terrible at it. Moiren is probably the best at it
91. Does your character engage in gossip?
nope, and even if they did there’s not really much to gossip about lmao
92. Have any of your characters started and/or led a revolution?
nope
93. Do you have any characters that are stuffed animals? Or characters who have them?
ci has a stuffed bear named fluffypants (not her name lmao) that she picked up after the kid who had lost it.. lost it. he was named as such because one of his legs was replaced so he has two different colored legs, and also he’s fluffy (tho less now after 6+ years)
94. Are any of your characters mechanics?
there isn’t really machinery so that doesn’t exactly…exist
96. Which character is The Proudest ™ of their kids?
Hayve Is Proud of his brother and sister who he like technically raised for the past 6 years
97. Do any of your characters have a tendency to dislocate joints?
idk if it’s a “tendency” but moiren’s done it before. Also, Ameryli.
98. Has your character ever had to question their beliefs and realized they were wrong?
wink wonk
99. Do any of your characters have social anxiety?
yes. Ray has it Bad and honestly Moiren has it a lil too. Klement probably has a minor case of it
100. Are any of your characters queer?
yes, but i’m still debating showing most of em in the comic itself (mostly bc of the nature of the comic..) but gaelin and nile are a canon queer couple!
101. Which character is The Most dramatic?
gaelin.
102. Are any of your characters d/Deaf or HoH?
no but maybe one will be by the time i finish the comic?
102. What is your character’s greatest source of guilt?
moiren: a Thing that she did when she was 9
ray: he feels like he put moiren and hayve through a lot when he was at his lowest point and that makes him feel rlly guilty (despite also knowing its stupid to feel guilty abt it??)
hayve: in general he just doesn’t feel like he’s done enough for ray and emmy
103. How well does your character deal with their anger?
moiren: Not Very Well. she lashes out
ray: Also not well, but his is more internal
hayve: honestly he’s one of the best of my oc’s at managing his anger
104. Do any of your characters have pottery as a hobby?
no but ameryli discovered it she would probably Love it
105. Favorite winter activity?
moiren: she would probably enjoy sledding
ray: Snowman building
hayve: All Of It
106. Do any of your characters have noticeable acne?
i mean like probably but i can’t draw it so
107. Do any of your characters feel confined by their lives and the expectations placed upon them?
you could say that all 3 of them do? not so much expectations but none of them really wanna be traveling around as much as they do just to survive. at this point though, it’s all moiren and ray know.
108. Are any of your characters dogs?
No, but there’s a Cat. Originally she was a demon cat but that doesn’t really fit into the current mold of the comic so now she’s a normal cat. Her name is still Demon tho 109.
109. Would your character blackmail a god?
moiren: i mean like.. probably
ray: probably not?? he’d be scared
hayve: it depends on why he would need to
110. What color is associated with your character?
moiren: darker neutral colors, but also a light green
ray: dark red
hayve: blue
111. Do any of your characters have dogs for pets?
no but Maybe Soon
112. Does your character believe in wishing fountains and shooting stars?
moiren: not anymore
ray: he wishes he could
hayve: nope
113. Would your character commit treason if the law was wrong?
moiren: probably
ray: treason? maybe not
hayve: yea
114. Do any of your characters insist on going by their fullname rather than a nickname?
Moiren insists but also she really doesn’t care, she’s just embarrassed by “Emmy.” she won’t comment if she’s called “M,” though
115. Do any of your characters have an honorary father figure?
would hayve’s (adoptive/step) father count??
116. Have any of your characters (almost) drowned?
no, but moiren and ray have experienced it through the Friendly Neighborhood Ghosties
117. Could your character build a house or possess the knowledge to build one?
none of them really could……….
118. Have any of your characters come from a position of privilege that they’ve never had to examine?
i mean like……………probably??
119. If someone made a statue of your character, what would it look like?
it would look like… them? I don’t really get this question
120. Do any of your characters have PTSD?
technically, moiren has it but i need to read into it more before Really setting on that
121. Do any of your characters have prosthetics?
no
122. What is your character’s greatest secret?
wink wonk
123. Did any of you characters have nannies or governesses growing up?
nope
124. Does your character workout?
you could argue that all 3 of them do because they work on or practice their magic
125. Who is your token cis, straight, (optional: white) male?
i mean. Alistair? maybe.
126. Are any of your characters on good terms/still friends with an ex?
yes!
127. Has anyone ever stolen your character’s identity or impersonated them?
no
128. Has your character’s home ever been destroyed?
yes
129. Has your character ever had to compromise on what they thought was right in order to maintain peace?
moiren: she Will Not
ray: yes
hayve: he will be stubborn about it but maybe
130. Do you have any characters who are retired?
in theory but not in practice
131. Who is redhaired and has a mustache?
??? gaelin has red hair but. not a mustache?
132. Who is the precious cinnamon roll?
Raymonnnnnnn
133. Have any of your characters ever been caught in a fire or explosion?
mara died in a fire
134. Has your character ever been alone in a hostile environment and been forced to travel a long way to reach a safety that wasn’t for sure?
not alone, but moiren, ray and hayve have definitely experienced this (probably multiple times since they’ve been aimlessly traveling for,… 6 years)
135. Would your character be content to go back to a normal and quiet life after going on an adventure?
honestly that’s all they want now. Hayve might eventually get bored of it, though
136. Has your character ever been forced to deal with the ‘I want to speak to your manager” kind of person?
they’ve worked for a lot of people so like yeah probably lmao
137. Are any of your characters bipolar?
not explicitly but i’m bipolar and i wrote them so maybe rip
138. How good is your character with money and accounting?
moiren: she’s decent
ray: he’s decent
hayve: he’s Good
139. Has your character ever survived a fatal wound?
“fatal” usually means that it wasn’t survivable at all, but since i know what the question means the answer is no for all 3
140. Can your character play an instruments?
nope, none of ‘em learned how
141. Who has a weapon collection?
probably.. ameryli?
142. Do any of your characters use wheelchairs, transportation devices, or mobility aids?
no
143. Has your character ever had some part of their culture made illegal?
not really
144. Are any of your characters adventurers by trade?
by trade? no
145. How much first aid and medical knowledge does your character have?
enough to deal with minor-ish injuries, but hayve probably has the most experience between them
146. Were any of your characters disowned or abandoned by their parents?
technically, maybe?
147. Do any of your characters have albinism?
not albinism technically, but aisa has white hair
148. Do any of your characters have an eating disorder or food contamination phobia?
not really
149: How good is your character at lying?
moiren: so-so. she has some tells that are really obvious to ray, and sometimes hayve
ray: he’s good when he wants to be, and really bad otherwise
hayve: he’s pretty good
150. Do any of your characters have to deal with family being concerned more about appearances and reputation than personal wellbeing?
some did
151. Would your character ever go cliff diving
moiren: oh probably not
ray: Definitely not
hayve: ……….potentially
152: Do you have any characters with the jr. sr. I II or III thing?
no, mostly because it Confuses Me
153: Do any of your characters embody the spirit of a flapper? (Bonus points for style and or lifestyle)
i mean. probably not but im too tired to remember what that would mean…
154: How much does your character care about other people respecting their authority?
none of them really have authority so they.. don’t… expect anything.. .
155: Does your character cut and/or color their hair for any specific reason?
not currently
156: Were/Are any of your characters under less pressure and fewer expectations than their siblings?
technically you could say moiren and ray are under less pressure than hayve simply because… well, he was a lot older than her
157: Do any of your characters live on their own?
Klement lives completely alone
158: Have any of your characters even been bit by a zombie or rabid animal or otherwise exposed to a deadly pathogen? (Did any of them survive?)
if you wanna classify rot as a pathogen, then papa troye had it and he did not survive
159: Does your character have any tattoos? And are any of them symbolic or significant?
nope.
160: Do any of your characters have asthma?
moiren and ray technically do, but it never acts up anymore.
161: Your character’s opinion of pineapple?
moiren and ray love it, hayve hates it
162: Has your character ever thrown a tantrum over things not going their way?
as kids, all three of them probably have
163: Are any of your characters autistic? (If so, do they have special interests and what are they?)
nah
164: Are any of your characters tinkerers or inventors?
nile is probably the closest thing to a tinker
165: Who is a “girls just wanna have fun” character?
none of them really, but ci is probably the closest
166: Are any of your characters blind or visually impaired?
perhaps a future character might. haven’t decided yet
167: Are any of your characters fat?
yea
168: Is your characters easily embarrassed?
moiren: in theory no
ray: y e s
hayve: he pretends not to be and that helps
169: Are any of your characters married to the sea?
what does this mean. hayve.
170: Are any of your characters infamous?
y…es?
171: Are any of your characters hallmark villains in terms of personality?
hopefully not lol
172: Do any of your characters hold a grudge against someone?
yea
173: How loyal is your character?
moiren, ray and hayve are all really loyal, but moiren probably more-so
174: Does your character get homesick?
all 3 of them do, but at the same time none of them can clearly remember what their home was like
175: Are any of your characters badass (lesbian) pirate queens?
God I wish, but no. I did once have an au where hayve was basically a badass (gay) pirate… captain? though
#somajesticdonki#moiren oc#ray oc#hayve oc#disintegrating comic#ask#long post#im pretty sure this crashed my browser twice lmaoooo
2 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
