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luxraysyscourse · 3 months

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My experience on both sides of syscourse.

Pre syscourse/context

When I realized I was a system, I did hide it for years. I realized about 11 when I saw systems online and realized I personally related to a lot of their experiences. Especially the way they acted, the way they would interact with themselves. For years, I believed everyone had other 'people' or thought processes not of their own. That they could disappear when they were stressed. I know now that's not true, and only in 2020 did I really start getting into syscourse.

Pro Endo

I was pro endo for a few years, and I was a pretty vocal person about it. I was Pro Everything that wasn't illegal, and I was under the impression that as a concept it was harmless. But, being in the community I saw alot of flaws, I saw toxicity within the community. I was fakeclaimed and as a system we labeled ourselves as simply quoigenic and willogenic, as a way to repress our truama, with many people at the time insisting we were more than that, many saying we were "pokegenic" and "autigenic", and even some saying we were "Hospigenic" due to our childhood in the hospital. This made us sot ourselves down and look at ourselves and genuinely question "What are we". We witnessed our friends attempt con convince our singlet friends they were systems, our traumagenic friends that they weren't truamagenic. We personally saw people in our servers try and dox the truamagenic systems who didn't adopt labels, purely because of that. It was something that concerned us. After year we switched our veiw. We decided we didn't want to be associated with such a community, one that attempted for force labels onto people, so we switched our veiw.

Endo neutral

In mid 2021 I moved to a center, We didn't want to associate with the endogenic community, but didn't hate them, overall this was a nice place, it wasn't horrid. But again, similar issues arose, people within it constantly escalated arguments on the front of being an unbiased party. I noticed many many of them tended to circulate harmful rhetoric, especially against POC who spoke against them as a person if they happened to be a system , they went after them as people, their race, and things they held dear. This community was the shortest in terms of associating with it. Something That was unique to it was exactly how they dealt wit syscourse, they had contradictory opinions, many times, one example being endo neutral but anti nondisordered. I left after 6 months, it was full of people hopping between " I don't touch syscourse" and doing it untagged in 3 minutes, honestly it was the most stressful.

Anti Endo

We personally did a bit more research, realizing alot of things, but also again, wanted to no associate with either while staying in the syscourse circles, of course they had their issues, but we noticed that they would, rather than encourage it as the previous had, many shut it down when they could. I found friends here, who actually protected me, though many we're relentless. It made it harder to find spaces in the community where we could talk peacefully about our day-day life without being met with comments about our stance or hatred in our inbox, but out of that on discords, again, they were nice, unlike pro and neu who'd force syscourse onto you, antis encourage taking breaks. Now we acknowledge it does have its issues; being very adamant and unable to back down, I'll admit we're guilty of this as well. Being in this community has made us feel safer. Again, though, an issue is here, anti self diagnosis runs rampant, along with the idea you know exactly who you are. When we realized we were mixed, we had a few anons yell at us for "race faking".

Conclusion

As an entity, the syscourse community is foul. Racism, ablism, doxxing, toxicity, and misrepresentation of arguments all run rampant on many sides of it. The pros and neu encourage ignoring your own health in order to argue your own existence. The anti has an issue of not backing down. The pros has a long history of doxxing and targeting of PoC. The neutrals use personal attacks as arguments. Overall, it's a raging battlefield of counter and cross attacks, horrible in-fighting and general ignoring and discarding of peoples boundaries to go after them. All sides have issues you must work on in order to collectively build cooperation on your points before as a whole we can actually get somewhere with this on-going discussion.

Thank you for reading and taking the time, please check me out, im trying my best, i have a few awareness posts, and i think im.worth mentioning, we mostly wrote this at 4am as we couldn't sleep due to our room being 36°f (alot lower outside) so punctuation, spelling, and grammar wont be 100%

#pro xeno origins #pro tulpa #pro endo #neutral syscourse #syscourse #endo safe #endo neutral #anti xenorigin #anti sysmed #anti endogenic #anti tulpa #pro sysmed #tulpamancy #tulpa neutral

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eclipse15 · 1 year

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I’m gonna make an exception to my DNI on the endo thing for THIS POST ONLY, so-again THIS POST ONLY and ONLY FOR THE ENDO RULE-endos and supporters can interact because I want to hear peoples opinions on this. Do not harass us!!!

DID from a RAMCOA and TBMC survivor “sysmed” systems perspective (so many adjectives)

Hi. I’m the host of an HC-DID system. We are all, as far as I’m aware, what one might call a sysmed. Why do we believe this, and what’s our perception of DID? I’ll explain my views in this post

For us, while living does not mean misery, DID means misery, if that makes any sense. I differentiate the two because my whole life does not revolve around my DID. Anyways, our entire dissociation revolves around our programming and trauma. Even my fellow parts mean misery to me, even though I don’t hate all of them since I know it’s not some of their faults. It means misery because it means more time lost and more time where our programming takes place. Even though not all parts are brainwashed, we all have some degree of programming. We also all have some degree of amnesia.

I’d say I’m in control about 35% of our life. That’s 65% of my life gone because of this disorder, and that’s only counting when I’ve been the host. Imagine when I’m not the host anymore? I’ll be nothing, pretty much.

So, that’s my view on DID; while it doesn’t taint everything, it means misery.

That’s why for me and the rest of us (again, that I know of) having a glamorized carefree “version” of that is a result of ignorance. Being endogenic is taking away everything that DID is about.

And no, if you count “sysmeds” as a struggle, sorry but that’s nowhere near comparable to the trauma people who actually are systems experience.

#⭐️#did alter #did osdd #osddid #actually mentally ill #hc did #polyfrag system #polyfragmented #polyfrag #pro sysmed #anti sysmed #syscource #syscourse #actually traumagenic

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thelonelyelysium · 1 year

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Something I never understood is how endo “systems” and endo supporters CLAIM to be a safe space for all but be the first ones to harass, threaten, try to doxx, and stalk those who have actual proof that what they think they are is scientifically false.

BELIEVE ME when we say, it’s all of the endo “system” community. We have seen so many of it and experienced it that there is no such thing as good endos anymore. There never was tbh, making fun of a disorder and saying it’s not a real disorder or trauma based when it’s proven to be trauma based on so many occasions. Like, it’s on the dsm5 “might stem from trauma” because if they say it DOES stem from trauma, those who program systems to be what they are will get exposed for the shit they are doing.

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novacollectinggenders · 1 year

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Traumagenics can also be systrenders just as some transtrenders have dysphoria. Hope that helps

Traumagenic s are systrenders because they have a disorder that requires trauma? Are you okay

#novacollectinggenders🌟#xenogender safe #mogai heaven #mogai coining #mogai term #mogai pride #pro mogai #mogai identity #mogai community #mogai blog #mogai label #mogai gender #syscourse maybe #did system #system #actually dissociative #anti endo #pro sysmed

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pupbi · 1 year

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Hi -may I ask about the endo thing in your dni? I didn't know what it was before I saw a post of yours and since I'm not a system or a doctor or anything I don't know what the issue is (the info I found basically just said they form on their own?) I've tried to be supportive of systems as best I could given I'm not one, so I guess technically right now I'm neutral just because I don't understand what the problem is. Obv I'll listen to a system before a rando source. (Also wanted to ask if it's ok to interact if I don't have an agere sideblog, since mine is all mixed up there's stuff that may not be suitable for small children but it's all tagged. I'm a traumagenic age regressor and anything related to that is completely sfw)

(This post contains syscourse)

Explanation is below the cut since it's a lot + I typically wouldn't bring discourse to my blog, and as long as your blog isn't primarily nsfw/kink we don't mind interaction. I want to apologize in advance if this seems "too long" or mashed together

In short, systems are the result of repetitive childhood trauma, being a system is not a normal brain thing it can't "just happen" The process of the brain forming dissociated states is a last resort decision, a child was traumatized to the point the brain could not handle it and did not think it would survive on its own.

A breakdown of Structural Dissociation & how systems form:

Structural Dissociation is the assumption that no one is born with a fully integrated personality. Instead, children operate based off of a collection of different ego states that handle their different needs- feeding, attachment to a caregiver, exploring the world around them. Over time, these separate ego states naturally integrate into one singular personality, usually by ages 6-9, this is what causes non-systems/singlets, this is the expected outcome. Systems form when childhood trauma disrupts the process and the different ego states are left unable to merge with each other due to conflicting needs, traumatic memories, or learned action paths or responses to trauma. If systems could just "spontaneously form" without trauma, this origin would be widely known from all the years of research that has been poured into DiD/OSDD. (Taken from here)

You can also read about tertiary structural dissociation (DID) here

And secondary (OSDD) here

The endogenic community itself is a cesspool of misinformation, stolen terms from RAMCOA survivors, cultural appropriation, racism, harmful stereotypes, and just in general, toxic.

Misinfo, harmful stereotypes, toxicity (This is our experience from being in endo spaces) :

Spreading the idea that you can develop a trauma-formed dissociative disorder, without having trauma. This is harmful to those who have did/osdd, as we are an already stigmatized group under the guise that we're "possessed" and have an evil alters that'll gonna murder you (thank you Split /s) if I were to start saying something like "I have (C-)PTSD but have never experienced a traumatic event ever! You can have (C-)PTSD without trauma" that would be horrible

The idea that alters can "die" or that fusion/final fusion is equivalent to "alter death".

We've seen discussions of "who's trauma was worse" when traumagenic systems talk about their trauma

I've seen endos encourage systems to NOT go through with final fusion (I believe every system has their own right to decide what their long term goal is, whether it be final fusion or managing their life with did/osdd/udd, but actively discouraging final fusion is not ok imo)

Saying that system accountability is a bad thing. Holding your alters responsible for their actions is not a negative thing.

RAMCOA stolen terms-

Ritual Abuse, Mind Control, and Organized Abuse (RAMCOA) which you can read about here, endos have taken terms from RAMCOA survivors and twisted the actual meaning of the terms, here's some of them with their actual definition:

System hopping: moving from one side-system to another. (Not from one singlur system to another)

Side-system: a "system" that is seperate from the main one.

System reset: when abusers force dormancy in the majority of alters.

Shell alter: a fragment alter who's purpose is to mask the current fronter so that detecting switches becomes more difficult

(This was from our time spent in RAMCOA friendly spaces and talking with survivors)

Cultural appropriation/racism

Within the endogenic community are (western) tulpa "systems", tulpas are intentionally created by imagining a person into the mind and treating them as a real entity. Western Tulpamancy is a bastardization of Tibitian Buddhism. "Tulpa" is a term that comes from Tibetan and Indian Buddhism.

Alter race, "It is never alright to claim to be a race that the body is not. One can be an introject of a person of colour, or one can look a certain way in the inner world (have darker or lighter skin tone) but race is so much more complex than appearance alone. For us POC, race goes well beyond how we look. Our race is also defined by how other people discriminate against us for our heritage and how our family has raised us in our traditions. A white person cannot claim to have these experiences of discrimination and tradition which define a POC. One cannot claim to be a POC alter in a white body because they simply do not have the experiences of one. To claim to be a POC despite lacking these experiences is simply rude. Race is also defined by how others treat you, and in being part of a white system, one lacks the [discrimination] that comes with being of colour. Your understanding of a POC's race is that—an outsider’s understanding of a closed group. Being POC changes how we perceive the world and how the world perceives us, and a white person just isn’t capable of understanding these differences in perception because they are experiences which are exclusive to POC. This also applies to POC claiming alters from other POC groups. A Korean system is a Korean system and cannot have Arabic alters because they are still an outsider to that culture. Just as a white system can’t claim POC alters, a POC system cannot claim alters of a culture they’re not bodily part of. It also applies to introjects: no matter an introject’s source, that introject is going to be the same race and ethnicity as the system and body. You cannot claim to be a different race or ethnicity through your interpretation of a piece of media. While your gender can be different from your body’s, your race cannot, because unlike race you self-identify with your gender. Race and ethnicity is assigned to you by the world around you based on your physical body at birth." (This explanation was taken from here [yes, its a carrd] as they explained it better than I could)

Other

I couldn't decide where these statements could go so they're just on their own

Not remembering your trauma is something entirely different from claiming systemhood without trauma

"You can be a system without having did/osdd, they're not the same" I have yet to see any (real) sources on that, it's possible to not meet the diagnostic criteria for DiD/OSDD, but systemhood outside of that? Still, not credible sources

I very often hear "but the DSM doesnt have trauma in the diagnostic criteria, this means systems dont have to have trauma to form!" The DSM doesn't have "trauma" as a diagnostic criteria because they would need to be 100% sure that this happens, which means they would have traumatize children to be 100% sure if childhood trauma is the only cause. I shouldn't have to say this, but that's unethical (here is a PDF link to the full DSM5)

Here's soms more links about the link between childhood trauma and DiD/OSDD, as well as anything else I mentioned in here that I just couldn't find an appropriate place to put

NAMI

DID Research

NCBI

APA

McLean

Mayo Clinic

AAMFT

Being a system is a disorder, not a hobby, its not fun, it's not an identity/label that you can just slap on like with gender or pronouns.

Endos & their supporters dont even touch this bc I'm not going to bring any further discourse to my blog, respect our boundaries

#anti endo #endos dni #syscourse #system discourse #actually did #actually dissociative #actually system #actually a system #anti endogenic #pro sysmed #actually traumagenic #dni endos #anti nontraumagenic #non traumagenic dni #endo supporters dni

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hyena-tits · 1 year

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Basedqueer flag

Basedqueer is an identity similar to that of dangerqueer, cautionqueer and safequeer. It's an identity that's mainly focused on being radically inclusive of all good faith queer identities such as mspec lesbians/gays, straight lesbians/gays, turigirls and lesboys, fictosexual, xenogenders, etc. while excluding transx and transid labels such as transracial, transage, transautistic, transtrauma, etc. It's inclusive of all non-harmful paraphilias, and inclusive of people with harmful paraphilias who are anti-contact and seeking help. It's also for proship/comship/profic/antiharassment/antianti queers who can seperate fiction from reality and think critically of media. It's also exclusive of bad faith "systems" such as willogenics, pseudogenics and demo "systems". If you share these beliefs, congrats! You're basedqueer.

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im-enoch · 2 years

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If you shift personalities according to the situation it's actually a very normal thing to do and you shouldn't medicalize it and call it DID.

#anti self dx #anti self diagnosis #sysmed #pro sysmed #syscource #syscourse #enoch speaks

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your-dearly-demented · 2 years

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my opinions on self-dx

yes:

“i think im coming down with something, i’m going to take cold medicine and antibiotics so it doesn’t last too long.”

“wow, some of my habits really come off as someone with ADHD. i’m going to apply ADHD coping mechanisms and see if it helps, and maybe see a doctor”

no:

“this weird bump is getting weirder, and according to webmd as well as this one tumblr journal blog with an overly medical ‘aesthetic’ that’s supposed to be about cancer, i have symptoms of cancer. -logs onto twitter- [sorry guys, i have cancer :( see u in the afterlife ig]”

“i’ve been spacing out a lot, and i feel like my personality changes between different environments. my imagination is really running rampant. according to this carrd, these are traits of Dissociative Identity Disorder, so I must have it. -logs onto discord- -pk;s new- -changes about me to ‘SYSTEM OF 25′ with a link to a hastily edited carrd and unnecessary symbols- -changes status to ‘F; BLURRY | DNIUC’-”

tl;dr

I support self-dx as long as you’re only using the label internally and using it to search for coping mechanisms. If it really bothers you, seek professional help, not strangers over the internet. You can legitimately brainwash yourself into your own god damn mind emulating Plural (&) (/metaphor), especially with the “aid” of internet strangers who only seek to validate you and tell you that you 100% have this disorder.

I went through the god damn cult-like mentality of endogenic/plural echo chambers for two years. I went through thinking I was a system. Don’t let it happen to you.

#about: self-dx #about: endogenics /neg #anti endo #endo exclusionist #and just to make sure this gets on the tags they search on #sysmedicalism #sysmed safe #pro sysmed #sysmed mention #sysmed

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loveloveplural · 21 days

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plurality is not defined by switching.

plurality is not defined by headcount.

plurality is not defined by an inner world.

plurality is not defined by distinct headmates.

plurality is not defined by communication.

plurality is not defined by getting along internally.

plurality is not defined by an origin.

plurality is defined by multiple consciousnesses/identities in one body. if you say you’re plural, we and many, many others will always believe you. no two plurals are the same, and no one can tell you what you are or aren’t 💞

#✨ — Cillian #🍰 — Vince #endo safe #sysmeds dni #pro endo #plural positivity #system positivity #pluralgang

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luxraysyscourse · 3 months

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You should kill yourself, calling the syscourse community racist and toxic is BEYOND disrespectful. You are a white singlet. Slit your wrists and die you retard

And yet here you are. proving my point anon. lets dig in, shall we?

The community is rampant with racism, whether be alter race or, as you did, denying the race of some. I am white passing, yes, but that doesn't change the fact im mixed. It doesn't demean or shrink my experience as a romani person. In my time of knowing, I've embraced my culture, but in this here is a shortened list of slurs i have been called. Gypsy, Baby stealer, gipsie, gypper, gyppo, bike theif, and many many others i am not even comfortable thinking of, some not even applying to me.

And yes, it is , to a point, toxic. A lot of the syscourse community is born through infighting and trying to bully other sides in to believing the other, rather than sitting down with actual arguments, and having civil debates, yall treat it more akin to a fandom, which is fine to an extent. But with a topic like this you can't do that all the time.

A lot of the community defaults to fakeclaimimg when opposed, as you did. Denying my race and saying were a singlet. my essay is an anecdotal essay, and sadly, in attempts to prove me wrong, you only made me appear closer to right. We have to acknowledge and address the issues in the community before we can settle on anything. This community is something we have to acknowledge, which is an internet issue for the most part. no one out of the community cares. All hate asks like this will be deleted or responded to privately for my safety

#🦓black with white stripes or white with black stripes #syscourse neutral #syscourse #pro sysmed #anti sysmed #pro xeno origins #pro tulpa #pro endo #anti tulpa #anti xenorigin #anti endogenic #anti endo #endo neutral #tw slur #tw racial slurs #tw death threats

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the-hadal-zone-sys · 2 months

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Friendly reminder: if you go through a period of rapidly forming new headmates, that DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE FAKING!! It just happens sometimes. Brains are weird.

#🪶 || jayfeather (he/it/rain/dream)#plural #endo safe #pro endo #sysmeds dni #system #pluralgang #system doubt cw #system doubt #Nix is having their millionth 'this means we're faking!!' panic of the day.#sweet starclan why does there have to be so much plural discourse... It just makes us doubt ourselves. Ugh.

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thelonelyelysium · 1 year

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A gender one of our head mates coined in May (5) of 2022

^ Sunrisegender

sunrisegender is having heavy relation to the beginning of the day as the sun rises, including the morning birds, the morning weather, the morning smell. It can be relating to being otherkin, due to not being a human but something relating to the sunrise, or an alter in a traumagenic system that’s either a god of the sun or day personified. This can be used by otherkins, traumagenic systems, autistic people, neurodivergent people but pro endo/endo “systems” shouldn't use it!

Subgenders

^ Summer-sunrisegender: having heavy relations to the summer weather and summer atmosphere during the beginning of the day

^ Winter-sunrisegender: having heavy relations to the winter weather and winter atmosphere during the beginning of the day

^ Autumn/Fall-sunrisegender: having heavy relations to the Autumn weather and Autumn atmosphere during the beginning of the day

^ Spring-sunrisegender: having heavy relations to the spring weather and spring atmosphere during the beginning of the day

Flags were created by: moodylesboy

If you want to see stuff we post and our other accounts, follow the.space.council on instagram

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novacollectinggenders · 1 year

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What is a “systrender”? I saw the post pop up on my tumblr and I was confused since I never heard the term before.

No clue at all, this is the first time we are hearing it too

#actually neurodivergent #anti endo #antendo #actually bpd #actually autistic #actually ptsd #actuallytraumatized #actually traumagenic #actually dissociative #actually did #did system #did #endo dni #pro sysmed #syscourse maybe #system

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cynthicaster · 1 month

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daily reminder that an identity does not need medical protection to be valued, important, and worthy of respect.

#anti transmed #anti sysmed #trans #pro endo #endo safe #fuck transmeds #fuck sysmeds

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thegentlewonders · 3 months

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Ya know, what's exciting to me is that plurality could be very underreported.

#pluralgang #endo safe #pro endo #tulpa safe #sysmeds dni #plurality #pro tulpa #tulpa

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im-enoch · 2 years

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Actual day in the life of someone with schizoaffectice disorder:

Wake up in the middle of the night

Experience distressing hallucinations with nobody to comfort you

Go back to sleep hours later after not being able to because of being scared

Wake up again

Make breakfast

Take meds

Crawl back into bed

Vomit from said meds

Have an overwhelming feeling of doom

Share it with a person you trust, get yelled at

Isolate yourself

Try to function the rest of the day

Go back to bed

Mental illness isn't quirky like shown on tiktok. It's actual suffering for many people. Always remember this when you want to make whimsical #relateable posts.

#pro sysmed #sysmed #mental illness #schizoaffective #actually psychotic #psychosis #schizophrenic disorder #schizo spectrum #actually schizospec #illnessfakers #chronic illness #anti self dx #self dx #enoch speaks

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