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soiarsys · 2 months

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some alters hold trauma/memories that they didn’t exist to experience / didn’t front during.

some alters have amnesia for moments they were there for.

like that’s really common. you have a dissociative disorder. you aren’t faking if you remember something you didn’t front for and you aren’t faking if you forgot something that you yourself literally did. our brains are trying to protect us. sometimes it does a good job with the amnesia thing and often times it doesn’t. there’s no real way to make amnesia convenient. like a lot of systems only get amnesia from switches, but a lot of us forget the day prior even if no switch occurred.

and although this post is about amnesiac systems, you’re valid if you don’t have amnesia either, or not very much. everyone is different. every system is different.

#sorry messy #just we always have to make a post when we see people stressing over smth that’s nbd u know #♣️.txt #osddid #actually plural #did #osdd #system #did system #plural #plurality #pfdid #polyfrag system

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ram-like · 2 months

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caution post on ethan/dreamkingdomaine

please read the edit 2 at the bottom

a few weeks ago, in the beginning of february, ethan messaged one of my friends on tumblr to ask if he wanted to make a private discord server to talk. at this time, ethan's tumblr said he was 41 years old, which he then confirmed in a message with my friend. his (my friend's) tumblr bio says that she is an adult, but doesn't dictate his full age.

ethan messaged him on discord, again confirming that he is fourty-one, but stopped messaging & unfriended him when my friend said she was 18 & therefore they shouldn't be talking.

however, ethan then changed the age on his account to 24.

he then messaged me, asking a very similar thing, however whilst he claimed he didn't realise my friend was 18 (and in a later message, that much of the tumblr did community is <25) my age is very obviously stated in my bio (and I am 17 years old, making me a legal minor.)

ethan has not messaged any of my other friends on tumblr, who state that they are adults in their bio, & i don't know the extent to which he has interacted with members on here.

his behaviour therefore is incredibly predatory seeming, particularly the changing of his reported age, & i presume he was operating under the assumption that me and my friend didn't know each other and therefore wouldn't discuss this.

ethan's discord user ID is 339913311573245954. i advise everyone who owns or moderates a server focused on did/trauma that's available to find on tumblr to preban him, especially if there are minors in your community, and block him on tumblr. this is not the behaviour of a responsible & trustworthy adult.

* edit/note: based on the blog history, this person has likely been doing this for YEARS. there are no other accounts with that name easily identifiable online, so this tumblr is likely a burner account. they have a year long post history of disappearing for a matter of months, and then coming back to ask people to DM them or message them on discord, presumably also messaging people in a similar manner to how they are now, originally in the roleplay community but more recently in trauma communities. and a reminder that again they are lying about their age after being told it was an uncomfortable difference by a young person they were attempting to privately speak too. please watch your interactions with this person.

* edit 2: as it turns out, this person has actually been a notorious predator in roleplay communities for years, with a long history of commission fraud & repeatedly requesting nsfw or rape-based plots. here's a post about his actions: https://www.tumblr.com/traumadreaming/743234181974425600/strngher-archived-despite-having-not-posted?source=share

please bear in mind the google docs in this post are EXTENSIVE and contain triggering materials at basically all points.

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freakthingg · 5 months

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shoutout to people who have persecutors that are genuinely dangerous. persecutors who are abusive to other parts in the system. persecutors who recreate abuse by beating, s/aing, and killing other parts. persecutors who have to be locked up or kept from front for the safety of the system and the body. persecutors who target children, or animals, or other vulnerable alters in the system.

not all persecutors are the edgy, meany part who says not nice things sometimes. some persecutors are genuinely horrible to the rest of the system or those outside it even. not all of them can 'get better' by being talked to gently and told nice words. some need to be locked in places insys or otherwise punished for the safety of the system itself.

i'm not a bad person for having parts like this, nor am i bad person for the way i HAVE to deal with them. i cannot heal them on my own, i need a therapist in order to safely do so. and that doesn't make me a shitty person.

#actually traumatized #actually abused #osddid #endos dni #non traumagenic dni #traumagenic #polyfragmented #polyfrag system #ramcoa system #cdid #cdid system #pfdid #pf did #persecutor

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thebusinesssystem · 2 years

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A gentle reminder for systems with severe trauma:

It’s okay to exist in spaces meant for systems, even if other systems’ trauma is not the same as yours.

It’s okay if you know your trauma was severe but dissociative barriers prevent you from knowing details or being able to name exactly what happened.

It’s okay if you struggle to relate to other systems who do not have the same trauma as you.

It’s completely valid to choose to share your trauma in safe spaces, as long as you follow the rules laid out to keep that space safe (i.e. TWs/spoilers)

It’s completely valid to choose not to share your story online or even acknowledge online that your experience constitutes as “severe.”

Posts showing support for systems “without severe trauma” or whose trauma “wasn’t ‘that bad’” do not invalidate your trauma. You are valid.

It’s okay if you’re not as high-functioning as other systems seem to be. (And remember — the internet version of someone doesn’t usually show an accurate picture of someone’s struggles)

It’s okay if you’re really high-functioning when the world seems to think you shouldn’t be. Your trauma, your system, and your experiences are valid.

Having a very large or polyfragmented system is valid. Having a smaller system is valid. Not knowing the size of your system is valid.

Struggling with severe symptoms is really hard and even when you’re dealing with that, I see you, I hear you, I believe you.

It’s okay if you do not have the bandwidth to support other systems or hear their trauma history, even if their experiences are different.

It is not your job to educate people on severe trauma unless you choose to make it your job. Do not let anyone else assign that task to you.

It’s okay to feel left out, forgotten, or invalidated seeing posts circulating that leave you out specifically. Your feelings matter. Others have their posts. This is yours.

I believe you. I wish you healing. You deserve help. You can get through this.

Please drink some water, put on your favorite shirt, look for shapes in clouds, or do something else that makes you feel present and safe. You deserve to feel present and safe.

#pfdid #polyfrag system #polyfragmented #actually did #did system #osdd #severe trauma #psa #affirmations #things i needed to hear #ramcoa #ra #TBMC #trafficking #Ora

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reimeichan · 5 months

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Despite having fused down to 6 named alters now (Gray, Green, Purple, Crimson, Azure, and <redacted>), my system is still pretty obviously polyfragmented. We still have unknown parts popping in fairly regularly to make themselves known, or we feel them passively influence us in ways inconsistent with the currently known parts. I can still see the many layers of complexity within the system even within these 6 named alters.

Tbh, I had wondered if my system would still be considered "polyfrag" once we fused down enough, and at this point I'm fairly convinced that yeah, we would be. Gray actually split into quite a few parts the other day due to something that nearly sent us to the hospital (we're fine), and the way our brain still seems to hold onto all these little fragmented pieces in their tangled web of structure despite otherwise having fused down a lot really puts into perspective that there really do seem to be fundamental differences between polyfragmented vs non-polyfragmented systems. And there are some other things tipping me off that our system structure is at its core still as complex as ever, but that's not something I'm willing to detail on my public blog.

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taxidermycanine · 3 months

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as a did system our alters have different theriotypes, wildly different ones too.

it doesn't make us less valid for this, and that means it doesn't make anyone else less valid for this too if they just so happen to experience the same thing. we are still animals, beasts living inside a human body. one day we will have our claws again.

#canine therian #therian community #wolf therian #wolfkin #theriotype #caninekin #nonhumanity #therianthropy #actually plural #did system #pfdid #confessions of the dog

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rubys-delusions · 5 months

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polyfragmentation is not just having 100+ alters (there is no minimum number you need to have), and you dont need to be a ramcoa survivor to have polyfragmented DID.

ramcoa is mentioned a lot in PF spaces because many survivors end up polyfragmented due to the nature of the abuse- but not every PF system experienced ramcoa.

your trauma may not feel severe enough to you to cause polyfragmentation, but just like with DID theres no set bar for what "counts" as traumatizing and what doesnt, especially to the mind of a 0-4 year old.

#i know this seems like basic info but i see a lot of misconceptions from time to time #also hoping to cover osdd and pfdid in another post because its really really interesting how much they overlap in action #dissociative identity disorder #polyfragmented #pfdid #polyfrag #polyfrag system #did #ramcoa mention #tw ramcoa

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debunking-did-misinfo · 3 months

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Here’s the first source I’m putting up. It acknowledges that DID is understudied, however, the first thing to debunk is the percentage of cases.

“Studies conducted in various countries led to a consensus about prevalences in DID. 5% among psychiatric inpatients, 2-3% among outpatients, and 1% in the general population.”

This means everyone and their best friend cannot possibly have it on TikTok. Yes, 1% of the global population is a large number, but the majority of the people presenting with the disorder on TikTok fall into the same few demographics, namely being 13-17, typically assigned female at birth, a part of the lgbtq plus community, and self identifying with other disorders like autism spectrum disorder or borderline personality disorder.

Next, the idea that parts are their own people. They are not. They are defined as dissociated parts of a whole. The mind cannot create more people, it can have fragmented dissociative states.

“Consequently, each of these identities reports their own subjective experiences and memories, their own sense of agency and will, and their own perspective on who they are.”

This does not mean they are separate people sharing one body. This only means that the dissociative barriers between each ego state are such that each interprets their own experience as subjective and individual, because it is.

The paper refers to each part as “multiple “I” selves” and not multiple people for a reason.

I encourage giving the entire article a read. A lot of the self reported did symptoms are reminiscent of malingering, which I’ll eventually post a source for. People online who self identify with did who take the assessments (which, by the way, are meant to be taken with a clinician) over report symptoms to the point of malingering.

Not that I feel I even need to state this, but obviously did is caused by trauma/abuse during development. The article continues to explain it, but if I have to explain that you cannot have a severe dissociative response without a cause, this world is hopeless.

Eat something today if you haven’t already, and stay safe.

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myrmidon-hearts · 14 days

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hello, we’re myrmidon hearts! you can call us atlas or myr— no preference! we collectively use they/he pronouns. we have a high headcount and a low split tolerance. we like bsd, genshin, hsr, pjsk, among others! we have c-did and asd, and are semi-verbal. we are not currently in a relationship. check out our carrd below! (light/bright colour warning!) ↓

https://myr-hearts.carrd.co

happy to be moots! :)

#endos dni #did #did sys #c did #pfdid #osddid #traumagenic system #dissociative identity disorder #looking for moots #system stuff #intro post #introduction #system intro #sys intro

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youlookkindadead · 2 months

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you can be attached to a fictional character, but Watch Out

#♡ muyang mewls #osddid #pfdid

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the-firefly-jar-system · 3 months

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we had a dream last night that was just a bunch of trauma stuff mashed together 😭 it was so weird

-ash n val🌈

#ash and val #anti endo #endos dni #did #did system #osddid #traumagenic system #cdid #pfdid #firefly flickers

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soiarsys · 6 months

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i think all systems should stop trying to figure out if stuff is “normal” in systemhood before accepting that it’s happening to them.

there have been many times where i assumed i was crazy because id never heard another system talk about something i was experiencing and tried to ignore it. eventually id find someone else who experienced the same thing, and id be so happy, but realize i wasted so much time doubting myself and beating myself up.

yes, look for others who share your experiences, but also YOUR experiences are enough. you aren’t faking for simply having an experience. you should be allowed to feel what you feel and do what you do.

#osddid #actually plural #did #osdd #system #did system #plural #plurality #pfdid #polyfrag system

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transhomicidal · 5 months

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do you ever feel like your non-humanness was used against you

#.txt #ramcoa #cdid #pfdid

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sicksadstar · 10 months

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youtube

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nebulousnova · 1 year

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A rant? Idk feeling confused

Is it odd that upon my did discovery my brain functioning had gotten worst? My brain functioning didn't use to be this foggy, disorganized and all over the place(at least to me) I can barely keep things in check and stay present I've been dx for 2 years now, and idk it's been getting even more difficult to process the world around me since I've found out

Idk how to describe what i mean but each day i feel less present irl Each day i continue to feel even more detached and less focused of whats happening as if processing the world around me has gotten defective? It's as if im fading away...

Sorry if this is confusing to read just something im struggling with currently because it's been affecting my relationships and academic life heavily It almost feels like it would be better if i had never known about my condition i would be alright i would be happy and be both emotionally and consciously present for my loved ones

#actually did #did #dissociative identity disorder #osdd #osdid #did support #dissociation #did system #pfdid #did vent

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the-sunroom-system · 1 year

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would anyone with polyfragmented DID be open to talking and sharing our experiences so i can see how much i relate? i feel so conflicted.

#equilibrium.txt #osddid #sysblr #polyfragmented #pfdid #actuallydid #actuallyosdd #actuallydissociative

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