It is okay to mourn the child that you were, or the child that you could have been. It is okay to be sad or angry that no one protected you like you should have been protected. It is okay to grieve.

sometimes DID is screaming crying hellish agony and sometimes it’s trying to figure out WHO THE FUCK DOWNLOADED 117 PICTURES OF SHARKS ON OUR PHONE

I really need people to understand that when I and other systems say, "I'm grateful for my system and I'm happy that I'm a system," it does not mean that we wanted to be systems.

I never wanted to go through horrific abuse to become a system. I never wanted to be programmed to be a system. I never wanted any of that. I wanted a happy and fulfilling childhood, but I didn't have that privilege. I never did.

My system is how I survived. It's how I was able to cope and actually live and breathe. I'd be dead without my system. Do I hate how we formed? Of course, I do. Do I hate my system? Not even in my dreams.

I'm allowed to be happy as a system, especially if it's what saved me. I'm allowed to be grateful that my system kept me alive and has allowed me to begin healing. I'm allowed to have happy moments. Don't misconstrue my words, and don't belittle anyone else who shares the same sentiment.

i feel like we don't need to keep coining new community terms for "different types" of DID. i think there being so many community terms used now rather than actual medical terms is kinda making things confusing.

i also feel like people forget DID is an actual medical diagnosis and term. you can't fit any and everything under the umbrella of DID because that's just not how it works. words mean things.

RAMCOA/programmed/HC-DID systems feel free to add onto this, but as a non-RAMCOA system I really think we need to stop trying to police RAMCOA survivor’s language.

They have experienced horrors that we can barely comprehend when they were CHILDREN, sometimes INFANTS. They are trying to find community by labeling their unique experiences that are objectively more complex than many others. So many non-RAMCOA systems are butthurt over HC-DID systems calling themselves “highly complex”, seemingly just because it “invalidates other’s trauma”.

Trauma experiences that are more severe than yours will always exist, and the survivors of those experiences will always speak out about them. By claiming that these people are “playing trauma olympics” by simply speaking out about and labeling their stories, we are actively silencing survivors of severe abuse. Acknowledging that some experiences are more complex than others is not inherently downplaying the validity of the less complex experiences.

Because the nature of RAMCOA survivor’s experiences is near impossible to grasp for us non-survivors, we need to understand that we are stepping out of our lane by trying to involve ourselves in the conversations about RAMCOA exclusive labels. It’s perfectly acceptable for systems to ask non-systems to not get involved in system discourse, and the response should be the same for programmed systems asking non-programmed systems to not get involved in RAMCOA discourse.

Again, I’d love if any RAMCOA systems would like to add onto this! This is just our perspective as a system who is not a survivor, and we’re open to any additions or criticisms.

caution post on ethan/dreamkingdomaine

please read the edit 2 at the bottom

a few weeks ago, in the beginning of february, ethan messaged one of my friends on tumblr to ask if he wanted to make a private discord server to talk. at this time, ethan's tumblr said he was 41 years old, which he then confirmed in a message with my friend. his (my friend's) tumblr bio says that she is an adult, but doesn't dictate his full age.

ethan messaged him on discord, again confirming that he is fourty-one, but stopped messaging & unfriended him when my friend said she was 18 & therefore they shouldn't be talking.

however, ethan then changed the age on his account to 24.

he then messaged me, asking a very similar thing, however whilst he claimed he didn't realise my friend was 18 (and in a later message, that much of the tumblr did community is <25) my age is very obviously stated in my bio (and I am 17 years old, making me a legal minor.)

ethan has not messaged any of my other friends on tumblr, who state that they are adults in their bio, & i don't know the extent to which he has interacted with members on here.

his behaviour therefore is incredibly predatory seeming, particularly the changing of his reported age, & i presume he was operating under the assumption that me and my friend didn't know each other and therefore wouldn't discuss this.

ethan's discord user ID is 339913311573245954. i advise everyone who owns or moderates a server focused on did/trauma that's available to find on tumblr to preban him, especially if there are minors in your community, and block him on tumblr. this is not the behaviour of a responsible & trustworthy adult.

* edit/note: based on the blog history, this person has likely been doing this for YEARS. there are no other accounts with that name easily identifiable online, so this tumblr is likely a burner account. they have a year long post history of disappearing for a matter of months, and then coming back to ask people to DM them or message them on discord, presumably also messaging people in a similar manner to how they are now, originally in the roleplay community but more recently in trauma communities. and a reminder that again they are lying about their age after being told it was an uncomfortable difference by a young person they were attempting to privately speak too. please watch your interactions with this person.

* edit 2: as it turns out, this person has actually been a notorious predator in roleplay communities for years, with a long history of commission fraud & repeatedly requesting nsfw or rape-based plots. here's a post about his actions: https://www.tumblr.com/traumadreaming/743234181974425600/strngher-archived-despite-having-not-posted?source=share

please bear in mind the google docs in this post are EXTENSIVE and contain triggering materials at basically all points.

PSA: r/syscringe is telling everyone that RAMCOA systems aren't real, and are a conspiracy theory. Their only sources for this are the ableist Grey Faction, a sect of the Satanic Temple that denies dissociative identity disorder even exists.

If you even mention RAMCOA, the automod will pop up with a message linking to the Grey Faction website to explain why it doesn't exist.

It's incredibly important all RAMCOA systems are made aware of this before venturing in there.

RAMCOA survivors and systems are VERY real and not just some satanic panic or conspiracy theory thing that’s been made up.

It’s a serious thing that goes on and happens and is still happening.

I despise r/syscringe for shit like this.

I’m not TW ramcoa/tbmc/programming because this NEEDS to be known and made aware of.

shout out to programmed / ramcoa systems who...

- can never fully mentally mature

- were made to mature too young

- know and remember nothing or just snippets

- know and remember everything or most things

- can't currently access therapy for safety or personal reasons

- are currently in therapy

TRAUMA IS A RESPONSE, NOT AN EVENT

Something we see a lot in the community is people playing "trauma olympics", and I want to explain why it just doesn't make sense to compare traumas. Trauma refers to an event, yes, but it's much more about how your brain responded to that event that determines if it was traumatic for you or not. Trauma is not something that can be universally determined, as everyone has different reactions to things. Two people could both go through the exact same event that may or may not be widely considered traumatic, and one could come out with PTSD or a dissociative disorder and the other could come out with no trauma response whatsoever. Factors that play into if something is traumatic for you or not include age, access to support, general abilities to cope with stress, genetics, and more. Please stop saying some people have it worse than others, we are all traumatized. Regardless of if someone has trauma you consider "big" or "small", it still impacted them greatly. - Veritas

having religious trauma from the most boring of churches is such a unique experience. stained glass and high ceilings dont mean anything. but dingy basements and hotel bibles mean everything. my religious trauma (and i would assume a lot of others) isnt as pure as what is shown. its gross basements, hand-me-down bibles, wooden chairs that look like theyre at least 50 years old, vhs tapes and big box tvs, ugly carpet, and "god bless you" instead of i love you.

Transramcoa people stop cross tagging in RAMCOA tags challenge

The DID/OSDD and RAMCOA communities desperately need to re-acquaint themselves with Internet safety protocol. Hell, most young people on the Internet these days need to do better at keeping themselves and their personal information safe.

No one on the Internet is entitled to know anything about you. No one. Please be safe out there.

can i just say, it’s really gross how so much of the plural community (as well as doctors, therapists, and friends of systems) sincerely recommends hurting persecutors in order to make them stop persecuting. the amount of stories i’ve seen where systems are bragging about how they beat their persecutor/s into submission is disgusting. persecutors deserve to heal and to love and to be loved just as much as anyone.

its so strange how despite the influx of dystopia/cult themed media within the last decade, most people wouldnt recognize a cult, even one theyre not a part of, if it slapped them in the face. like relax girl you are not a dystopia novel main character. you thought midsommar was a story about female liberation.

people with RAMCOA trauma do not need to use the term HC-DID. we are allowed to use terms like polyfragmented and C-DID if we choose. stop trying to force the HC label on people when they don't like using it.

One of the worst parts of being a ramcoa survivor is not having a space to talk about your story, because it’s too upsetting for other people to hear about.

Not only can I not vent about it, but I can’t even talk about the things I went through. I’ve had two therapists drop me because they couldn’t handle it. One time when I was in the hospital, my nurse started crying and had to go home for the rest of the day. One of my ex partners broke up with me because they didn’t feel comfortable being with a 🚦 survivor. And I didn’t tell any of them the heavy details of my abuse. Just me surviving something I was forced into was too much for them.

And that’s not unique, every ramcoa survivor I know that has tried to find help for their trauma has had similar experiences.

I’m lucky enough to have finally found a therapist that knows how to treat me. And a week ago I said something that had happened to me, and idk what happened. He jumped and said “oh my god” like he just watched someone get killed. He immediately apologized, but it hurt. Why did I have to go through something that is so revolting to everyone.