Experiences I have related to DID that I forget are literally because I have DID

- Feeling like my identity / sense of self is fluid & ever changing

- Being absolute ass at a specific thing and then being good at it later

- Thoughts / inside voices being fuzzy , distant , like a distant conversation

- Having fluctuating feelings toward friends/families/my partner

- Getting suddenly dizzy and finding it hard to move

- Realizing I’m not wearing what I originally put on

- Feeling zero emotions or feeling every possible emotion amplified 100x

- A lot more that I can’t remember right now, also because of DID

Me after realizing everything I do and feel is related to having this dissociative disorder 😦😦😦😦😦

ADVICE FOR NEWLY DISCOVERED OR SUSPECTED SYSTEMS

if you suspect you may be a system or have recently discovered that youre a system, things can be confusing and hard. im making this post as someone who has been aware of being a system for about 5 years and has been diagnosed for 2. these are things i wish we knew and did. i hope it will be helpful to some of you and i wish you luck on discovering things about yourself and your system keep in mind everyone is different and systems are no exception, so what i list here might be incredibly beneficial for one person but do nothing for another. find what works for you. i will try to provide a variety of advice in order for you to see what fits you best DO YOUR RESEARCH research the disorder, try to find others experiences and things you think would help you. this is especially helpful if you are suspecting and not yet sure if you have it, researching symptoms and others experiences can be very helpful in determining START SYMPTOM LOGGING this can be as simple as "i blacked out today" or "i dont feel like myself right now", you dont have to be identifying switches or putting names to alters, theres no rush to be able to do that and some systems have no desire to do that symptom logging is useful because it can help you identify potential triggers and patterns in your symptoms. for example, if you can remember what happened before a period of amnesia and remember being exposed to a stressful event or something potentially triggering, this would be worth writing down to see if its a recurring pattern REACH OUT TO OTHER ALTERS this can be done in a variety of ways, but the easiest way would be to leave a note in a place itll be seen. for example, a sticky note on a mirror (if you live with other people and cant do this, try leaving a note on your phone in a frequently checked app) i would advise saying something along the lines of "hello, i am (name) and i would like to communicate with you. i suspect we have a disorder called (DID/OSDD) and we share the same body and mind. please write back to me in (location, can be a notebook or app etc) and tell me some about yourself if you feel comfortable" but you can say whatever works for you. i just think the main points to cover are having DID/OSDD and introducing yourself as well as asking for an introduction in return START WORKING ON COMMUNICATION this takes a lot of practice, so i always say its better to build up early rather than late. we have a whole post on it that can be found here REMINDERS AND THINGS TO REMEMBER if you do not remember your trauma, do not dig for it. it isnt safe to try to remember trauma without professionals help. if you happen to remember, thats one thing, but dont intentionally seek out triggers to try to remember denial is common and not a sign of faking, if you were faking you would know and would not be in denial. being wrong about having DID/OSDD (if you are suspecting but not sure) is not the same as faking no two systems are the same. you dont have to look exactly like some other system you know or online to be real its normal to not know everything right away. you wont know all your alters immediately, you may not be able to access (and you may not have) your innerworld, you probably wont remember all of your trauma without professionals help, etc. its all normal its totally ok to keep information about your system private. there is no need to share with anyone you do not feel completely safe and comfortable with switching at any frequency is normal, there is no "correct" amount to switch. any amount of alters is normal, there is no "correct" amount of alters. any level of amnesia is normal, there is no "correct" level of amnesia apps like simply plural and bots like pluralkit can be incredibly helpful for some systems, but there is absolutely no pressure to use them if you do not feel comfortable - grey

System Experience I Rarely See Talked About

Having only 2 alters

Having under 5 alters

Having over 100k alters

Having over 100k fragments

Having hypersexual child parts

Having child parts that are mentally older

Having child parts who can understand adult concepts

Having child parts that are bodily older, but mentally still children

Having no innerworld/headspace

Only having a room in the headspace

Not having a fronting room

Having a fronting room

Having an extremely complex innerworld

Constant heavy dissociation

Severe amnesia that makes you forget what happened an hour ago

Dissociative fugue

Chronic severe PTSD

Somatic symptoms

Rarely switching

Being frontstuck for months at a time

Rarely knowing who you are

Not knowing if you've switched

Internal trauma reenactment

Internal sexual relationships

Innerworlds not being a safe space

Alters who are dicks simply because they want to be

Alters who rape other alters

Internal pregnancy

Alters living in different time periods

Alters stuck reliving trauma

Having a lot of NPCs

Having cities full of NPCs

Having no NPCs

Having NPCs who reenact trauma

Having NPCs living the life you would have had without the trauma

the systems journey of discovery has certainly been interesting

[Text: This system is currently questioning if they’re polyfragmented, please be patient with them.]

[Text: This system is currently questioning if they’re complex, please be patient with them.]

Like/Reblog if you save or use please ^^

Polyfragmented DID culture is feeling the weight of the realization that your trauma was not only "bad enough," but it was so bad that your mind is fragmented to the point where you're not even sure who the "real you" is anymore. (applies to both C-DID and HC-DID systems)

.

trauma holder: *tells us about an extremely horrific thing that has happened to us*

the other alters in our system for some reason:

if youre a c-did/polyfrag system and feel like you arent differentiated enough just remember that theres so many of you that honestly having like, 200 people or whatever all be extremely different is hard lmao we have like maybe 20-30 actually differentiated alters and everyone else is just one of those alters slightly to the left or right

Shoutout to syskids who behave like adults, who are protectors and caretakers and traumaholders, who are hypersexual or sexual protectors, who are angry and violent. I see you and hear you.

WHAT IS POLYFRAGMENTATION

a common misconception i see in the community is that polyfragmentation refers to having a high alter count, and id like to talk about what it actually means polyfragmentation is characterized by a complex system structure, complex splitting patterns, a large number of fragments, a lack of non-dissociative coping mechanisms, and often trauma that began at an early age and impacted all areas of life COMPLEX SYSTEM STRUCTURE - often involving layers, subsystems, or other divisions within the system that keep alters separate in groups COMPLEX SPLITTING PATTERNS - this involves splitting in groups, splitting multiple alters to hold different parts of the same trauma, etc LARGE FRAGMENT COUNT - polyfragmented systems will have a high fragment count, fragments are alters who lack a full sense of identity LACK OF NON-DISSOCIATIVE COPING MECHANISMS - where splitting would typically be a last resort for most systems, polyfragmented systems can be pushed to the point of splitting much easier, even from daily life stressors EARLY LIFE TRAUMA - according to richard p kluft, polyfragmented DID is often caused by longstanding severe abuse beginning early in life - grey

DO and DON'T about somebody with any kind of DID or OSDD

✅ask about pronound

✅ask if person want to make phisical contact

✅respect boundaries

✅wait if alter is rude or harmful for u. They will leave and another alter will get to front

✅be patient with littles and and animal-acting alters. It is hard and boring sometimes, but it happend

❌try to switch alter for somebody who you need

❌ask to switch

❌trigger person to see a flashback. It's painful

❌say that an alter is evil, even if another alter said that. Sometimes alters are really evil, but most of the time they just need some care

❌ask about trauma. If person wants, they will tell you about that.

❌try to be persons psycotherapist. It's not your job, and you can cause harm

In the light of recent events in the MCYT/DSMP community, I have a message for all the Wilbur introjects, factives and/or fictives:

No matter what side you're on, no matter what he did, you're not responsible. He is your source. You're not him, and he's not you. You are not responsible for the actions your source makes, just as much as he's not responsible for the actions you make. Only actions you're responsible for are your own in your body.

I love you guys. It isn't your fault. You don't have to be scared of fronting and talking to others using your name. You don't have to be scared of telling people about your source. Anyone who blames you is not a good person, and probably uninformed about how introjects work, you don't have to listen to them.

I repeat: You are not responsible. It isn't your fault.

-host

A Small Reminder For OSDDID Systems

There is no such thing as the "perfect system." Your brain developed this disorder in the best way it saw fit to help you survive. As such, your system structure and the way it functions is specific to you, the trauma you underwent, and the way you reacted to it.

You might have more nonhuman alters than other systems, or you might form introjects easier. You might have hundreds of fragments, or you might have none. You might have 2 alters, you might have 10, or you might have hundreds.

Your system is catered towards your specific needs. While we all share symptoms and aspects in common, our systems are unique to us. What that means differs from person to person. Some might have hundreds of introjects, and some might have none. Both system were needed for their body's survival.

Your system is valid as it is, even if others try to tell you otherwise. What your system "should" be like is exactly how it already is because it's your system, and it was made to help you survive.

Are they really an alter or am I just looking too far into things?

Doubt.exe