Any advice on how to stop trying to dig up trauma memories? I know that knowing would most likely be dangerous but at the same time I keep wishing I knew.

honestly you just kind of have to accept not knowing, the memories may come back at some point, but they may not. you kind of just have to learn to accept the uncertainty, and i know that answer is really unhelpful but you just have to accept that digging them up would be too dangerous and just not do it - grey

I recently discovered a group of alters who aren't part of the 'main' group, could they be considered a sub-system? Adding to that, are subsystems limited to polyfrag systems and is it possible for subsystem alters to have grey out amnesia with the main sys / the main sys and the sub sys are aware of each other but can't like communicate?

yeah, that sounds like a subsystem, and im not sure if theyre limited to C-DID (polyfragmented systems), but to answer your third question, yes thats possible - grey

i am questioning if an alter of our system might be programmed. i do not remember ramcoa happening to us, but i recently found out we were part of a cult as children, and im slowly remembering things about it, but this alter (called Maria) will "steal" that memories and fake they didnt really happen.

i dont want to trauma dump to you, in case it might trigger something n i dont want to hurt anyone. might you help us to find some sources of information that r reliable about ramcoa? tysm !

hmm honestly there arent many reliable ramcoa resources out there that i know of, but ill tell you which ones i know are unreliable. any carrds, unwelcome-ozian, svali speaks, deprogramming wiki, fritz springmeier, maymay system. most of these people are conspiracy theorists. carrds are unreliable because most are made by like 14 year olds online. id look for professional resources, i know theres a book called "becoming yourself" thats considered pretty good, ive read bits of it, but it can be heavy. be careful if you decide to read it also worth noting that if you were programmed itd be more than just one alter in your system, and what you are describing doesnt have to inherently be a programmed behavior, although it could be. i dont know your situation and cant say for sure - grey

semi hot take: online communities should stop policing what language a system uses to describe their experiences. Like I prefer using parts language instead of considering alters separate people and I also use singular pronouns to refer to the system as a whole and the number of systems online who think it's okay to harass me for using this language is absurd.

yes i totally agree, we use both parts and alters to refer to us, and we sometimes use plural and sometimes use singular language, both are totally okay and nobody should police anyone elses preferred terminology unless it is genuinely harmful - grey

Pretty sure we're late, but these are shoutouts to systems who-

Can't get diagnosed

Won't get diagnosed due to personal reasons (ex. On the body's record, body's family/friends)

Have alters who hate their source

Have alters who don't know their name/pronouns because of identity crisis

-Bleu

agreed! - grey

"SOURCE TRAUMA"

"source trauma" is essentially when introjects remember things considered as trauma from their source. these are often memories that represent in some way what the body has been through, but i often see introjects claiming trauma their body has not experienced on the basis of being an introject, and i want to explain why thats harmful regardless of what you may or may not remember, you are not your source. you are a different consciousness and a different individual. you cannot claim an experience your source had that you as an individual have never had. for example, in my source, i lived in a different country, but this body has never even been to that country, so i will not claim i have been there or know what its like there. its similar for trauma memories if you have never bodily experienced the trauma you experienced in your source, you should not claim that experience. it is insensitive to people who have actually bodily survived that trauma. being an introject does not make you a special type of alter, and im tired of people acting like it does. all an introject is is an alter based off of something external. they are still part of the system. they cannot claim things the system has not experienced - grey

🫀🦴 for the ask group?

do you have non-human alters? what species are they? yes, actually most of us are non-human in some way, id say mostly dogs or religious beings (especially demons), but we have a fair mix of a lot of species do you have an innerworld? what does it look like? yess we actually have a fairly large innerworld and im not entirely sure what all of it looks like, but ill explain what the section im in looks like. the section im in is basically a downtown style city with a fountain in the middle and a forest off to the side, there are shops and cafes and stuff along the sides of where the fountain is and chairs around there too, i know there are several other sections too so if anyone wants to know what any other sections look like feel free to send this ask again and we will have an alter from a different section answer - grey

SYSTEM RESPONSIBILITY AND WHY ITS IMPORTANT

system responsibility is essentially taking responsibility for the actions of all of your alters, even if you werent the alter who did the action. this is important because all alters are part of one collective whole and are not literally separate people, even if they feel like such. they are all dissociated parts of one brain and need to take accountability for all actions done by all parts of that brain for example, if one of your alters upsets someone, you still need to apologize to the person even if it wasnt you as an alter who upset them. being a system is never an excuse to not take accountability for bad behavior, even if it was technically another alter or if you dont remember it. excusing bad behavior with "oh i have DID/OSDD and it wasnt me" just makes other systems look bad, and thats the last thing we need with all the stigma we already face i genuinely dont understand why some people are so against system accountability, it isnt hard to take accountability for actions taken by your own brain in your own body. if your alters are genuinely hurting people you need to evaluate why that is happening and take steps to fix it, not just excuse it because "it was another alter" - grey and roman

hi!! i read your post on communication recently and i found it really helpful. i have a communication related question that i’m hoping you’ll have some insight on!

when you’re early in your system discovery, is it normal for communication with alters to be simple or basic? like, i get responses when i address them, but they tend to be short - a maximum of one sentence long. and it seems to be easier for them to give their opinions on my ideas than to come up with ideas of their own, if that makes sense.

i’m guessing/hoping it will get easier as we go, but i’m not sure if this is something others experience?

yeah, thats how it was for us and honestly i think thats a perfectly normal experience, im not sure how common it is though but it makes sense to be that way. its still that way for us sometimes during bad communication times or when we dont actively work on communication - grey and roman

saw your post about "weird" systems so, - shoutout to systems with alters who hate their roles - shoutout to systems with alters who want to act their age but can't - shoutout to systems who aren't open about who is fronting + + so much more you don't have to fit into the online community's idea about what a system 'should' be. You are what you needed, and that is okay <3

agreed! - grey and roman

we wanna be more open about our system so like send us these if you want - grey and roman

system ask game! send the corresponding emoji(s) & the person who reblogged this may answer the question. :-)

🥀 - do you keep track of your alter count? how do you do so?

🫀 - do you have non-human alters? what species are they?

🍄 - when did you realise you had a complex dissociative disorder?

📻 - do you experience amnesia?

🥩 - who was the most recent split?

🦴 - do you have an innerworld? what does it look like?

🦷 - what’s a fun fact about the current fronter(s)?

💀 - is your system more overt or covert?

🍷 - does your music taste differ from alter to alter? how?

🦇 - do you have any friends with CDDs?

📺 - are you “heavy” with any type of alter? (e.g. little-heavy, introject-heavy, etc.)

this is for traumagenic systems! thank you.

whats with people asking u if they have certain disorders... like... bro you arent a doctor why are people asking. happens to me too and its so annoying

yeah... i have no idea honestly like just because im diagnosed doesnt mean im qualified to diagnose LMAO and also im open to literally any questions except "do i have DID/OSDD" so its just. why ask the one question im not gonna answer - grey

Hey, I'm starting to suspect I have OSDD-1b. If you don't mind much, I kind of want to get my thoughts straight.

I'm Siobhan, maybe. I looked at some names and I found myself charmed by that one. I probably use ze/he/they pronouns. I think I'm the newest one here and I kind of play a protector role for the host (uses e/thon/te/she if you're close to her). Honestly, she can kind of hold her own, though she's a little violent and angry, and it's kind of my job to reel her in. I love em, for the record, and I know e means well, I just gotta make sure e doesn't hurt anyone haha...

One of the other alters, Benton (any pronouns), is here with me. He's pretty laid back, and he's kinda forcing my hand at this haha.. I think he broke off from the host probably when the host was like, either abusing or quitting drugs... who knows? The host talks about how prescription drug abuse/withdrawal shaped her trauma and made her into a rage machine pretty often. I also have an inkling cannabis was involved in me coming about. I want to look into research on that.

I likely came around in the past year or two. Very weird because I didn't really recognize my parents' house. Like I knew what it was. It just felt so new to me. I guess that's part of why I started looking into it.

The host has been getting better lately, actually. Te has been able to front without getting violent or snappy, and te remembers a lot of old tricks te used to use to calm down that I certainly forgot about (or, wasn't familiar with???)

I think there's just the three of us.

Granted, I could just all be making this stuff up too. I'm not really sure of myself. I just wanted a place to put everything and sort of talk about myself using these words. I'm not sure how I feel doing it still, I might be pigeonholing myself or avoiding responsibility for myself, but I appreciate your time and askbox.

not really sure if theres a question here, but i think if u suspect OSDD it could be worth looking into! id advise reading the DSM-V to see if u fit the diagnostic criteria and then looking for other medical articles - grey

hey! I'm the host of a newly discovered sys and I had a few questions?

a. I recently learned that there are many parts that I am yet to meet and no one knows exactly how many parts there are... how do you deal with the uncertainty and the anxiety??

b. what defines a subsystem? I tried looking it up but nothing really made sense.

c. can you have alters that hold feelings related to trauma but no actual memories? as far as I know, there is no one who remembers any trauma vividly, just emotions and emotional flashbacks (or amnesia is real good)

-- thank you so much <3

for the first question, id say honestly you just have to trust your parts and understand that there is probably a good reason you do not know the exact count yet and accept that its normal to not know immediately a subsystem can be defined either as an alter with alters or as a group of alters kind of "separate" from the main system yes! you can, thats very common to my knowledge and we experience it as well - grey

To be in your server do we have to be leaning anti-endo? Just asking as a diagnosed system who is entirely neutral on them.

i mean as long as you are comfortable with the fact that the server is anti endo and you yourself are not pro endo it should be fine - grey

Are you anti endo?

my stance on endos is basically that they are not real according to the TOSD, but i dont support harassing them or fakeclaiming them. i believe a lot of them are confused systems who dont remember their trauma or are experiencing something similar to being a system that they are mistaking for being a system. i dont say endos DNI or anything because i genuinely do not care. anyone who finds my blog helpful can interact so long as they arent super weird. anyways, if anything scientific comes out at any point proving the existence of endogenic systems i will change my stance, but i highly doubt that will happen, and regardless of if they are real or not they spread a lot of misinformation (eg. system hopping) so i prefer to avoid endogenic communities - grey

SHOUTOUT TO "WEIRD" SYSTEMS

today i wanted to make a post that is a bit out of the ordinary for our account, i see a lot of validation posts going around so i figured id make my own with traits i rarely see mentioned in these types of posts. if you relate, amazing! if not, this post isnt for you, please dont leave any hate as these are real things some systems experience shoutout to systems who rarely switch, you arent faking for your switching frequency shoutout to systems who have "extreme" trauma, your trauma is just as real as anyone elses shoutout to systems with heavy amnesia, your amnesia is just as deserving of understanding as more mild amnesia shoutout to systems with alters who arent allowed to front or have to be locked up for safety reasons, you are doing what you need to do for your safety and it does not make you bad shoutout to systems who have alters with number names or other dehumanizing names that arent allowed to change them because of their trauma, you arent bad for not being able to change something relating to trauma immediately shoutout to systems who use parts language over alters or other terms, you are not dehumanizing your parts by having a preferred term shoutout to systems with alters who look "scary", you are just as deserving of respect as anyone else shoutout to systems with poor communication, you are just as real of a system as anyone else shoutout to systems with no introjects or only abuser introjects, you do not need to have lots of introjects to be a real system shoutout to systems who have "dangerous" roles, you are not a bad person for your roles based in trauma shoutout to systems who want final fusion, you are not "killing" your parts and it is a perfectly healthy healing choice remember, none of these traits make you "bad" or "weird", the general system community just has a very narrow view of who is and isnt a "good" system and its very easy to not fit into their view of being a "valid" system if you have some of these traits, but you are just as real and deserve just as much acceptance as anyone else - grey