#persecutory delusions
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they're coming
coming through the walls
they're inside already
hide be afraid
#schizophrenia art#actually schizospec#schizospec art#schizophrenia#schizoaffective#schizophrenic#persecutory delusions#auditory hallucinations#unreality#unreality cw#undescribed image#paranoia#paranoia cw#mine
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my persecutory delusions and grandiose delusions on their way to ruin my life
#abysa1 zone#image#actually cluster b#cluster b#actually npd#actually narcissistic#actually psychotic#gradiose delusions#persecutory delusions
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"I THINK I AM BEING PUNISHED FOR SOME THING"
Acrylic on a wood plank that was cut out of my wall by contractors smoking and playing "Hotel California" very loudly in my apartment and then my cat found it and swiped it out from where it had landed underneath the dishwasher
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ongietupersecutory
[ongietupersecutory]
ongietupersecutory is an ongietunem, possibly an ongietuparanoia subterm or pertner-term, related to persecusion-based delusions, such as believing one is being mistreated, spied on, or possible harm may come to them or someone close to them. this term acknowledges the disconnect between reality and one’s experience with conditions with their body, it does not romanticize nor idealize this experience.
about ongietunem(link), ongietuparanoia(link)
no spoons for ids, sorry
radqueers, transid/x stay away from my terms thanks.
#mod cass#ongietunem#ongietusio#ongietupersecutory#persecutory delusions#ongietupersecution#ongietupersecutor#flag blog#flag design#my flags#flag designs#flag coining#flag making#delusional#delusions#actually delusional#ongietuparanoia#ongietuparanoid#paranoid delusions
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do u know how can one tell between paranoia or delusion? an example .. being so scared you feel like something really will get u and it’s around your bed .. like how do u know when it’s paranoia vs delusion if u know
hi! so, extreme paranoia is a symptom of psychosis and can be delusional in and of itself (persecutory delusions).
it becomes a delusion when the belief cannot be swayed by anything. paranoid ideation differs from paranoid delusions because paranoid ideation can be reasoned with and even proven wrong. a person who has paranoid delusions will be unmoved in their beliefs no matter how much proof they're given.
I hope this is helpful
#asks answered#anon asks#paranoia#paranoid ideation#paranoid delusions#persecutory delusions#delusions#psychosis
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Hi babydog. I was wondering if something could be a delusion if it's very unspecific? like if I just feel watched, or like there's a presence or like people (random specific people or most people) are in love with me (I'm a strongly romance averse aromantic for context). Maybe more specific but that friends or whoever I'm hanging with want to/will harm me.
yes :0) not all delusions have "lore." its common to have "lore" but not necessary
i find that the longer i've been delusional, the more "lore" i acquire. i have like 5 different explanations for my persecutory delusions lololol;; im unsure if being delusional for longer makes a person more susceptible to making "lore" or not though, its just my experience
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I cannot fucking explain to most people the immense fear that the body's parents would read my mind and find out I had a crush and would do something horrible to me. I cannot explain the abuse I faced for both either having or appearing to have a crush on a peer. I cannot explain the way the body's parents threatened me by talking about how honor killings are a thing in our culture. I cannot explain how sfw kissing scenes got forwarded in movies in my household. I cannot explain the disdain the body's parents held for the concept of any of their children deviating from the arranged marriage norm. Some of this was when I was as young as 12-13 btw.
#honor killings#parental abuse#trauma#persecutory delusions#romance negativity#sex negativity#this definitely influenced me being aro. Fun /s#actually abused#Btw. This was even directed towards me for 'straight-passing' attractions when I thought I was cis.#abuse
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when delusions of people being able to look at your every move 📉📉📉📉<<<<<<<<<<<
#delusion#delusional#actually delusional#daisy.speak#v€nt#dereality#persecutory delusions#p€rsecutory.tag
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there is a serious problem in the american psychiatric field with over diagnosis of borderline personality disorder and the invalidation of people with "complex" mental health conditions. many people do in fact have bpd, and deserve treatment and respect. there's nothing wrong with people who genuinely do have bpd and are okay with having that diagnosis. but psychiatric professionals often times give up too quickly on "complicated" patients and give them a bpd diagnosis because they don't feel like taking the time to help that patient figure out what's actually going on.
i sat down in front of a doctor who cut me off in every sentence i spoke who had never seen me before in my life. when he asked me why i "believe" i'm schizoaffective, i sighed and when to explain the many hallucinations and delusions i deal with. i made the mistake of mentioning my paranoia first, trying to explain that i believe that my home has cameras and microphones in the walls, and that my food is not safe and is being poisoned when i sleep, but instead he cut me off before i could get past saying i was paranoid about being watched, saying "no, that's the extreme paranoia associated with Borderline Personality Disorder." i have visited psychiatric hospitals 7 times in my life now. i have received a diagnosis for schizoaffective disorder in every single one, and also from the professionals i speak to afterwards. i have never once had a professional who actually works with me dispute this diagnosis
the reason he was so determined to invalidate me and diagnose me with bpd was because of my sex. i am intersex, assigned female at birth. because the papers say "afab" he immediately honed in on that. lots of childhood trauma + paranoid + afab = borderline personality disorder to him, and to many, many other professionals. if you have a lot of trauma and are afab, it is far too easy for professionals to jump to bpd. there is a massive bias and it needs to come to a halt. i left that appointment feeling so invalidated and sick. i didn't even get to tell him i was hallucinating bugs on the wall behind him wall we were talking. this is not an acceptable way to treat a patient. this is not care. this is not treatment. this is disrespect and mistreatment
#mental health#neurodivergence#neurodivergent#schizoaffective#schizophrenia#schizospec#psychosis#psychotic#bpd#borderline personality disorder#antipsych#antipsychiatry#delusion description#paranoia tw#surveillance#surveillance tw#persecutory tw#poisoned food tw#food tw
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is it really erotomania when i know deep down this Old Man and i are going to meet AND i know he would also be deeply attracted to me bc who wouldn’t but like whatever time will tell stranger things have happened in my life. also concurrently i think well then what. what will come out of that interaction. so why am i constantly ruminating on it. So annoying
#like yeah my other delusions were delusions#but even after being on meds finding good coping mechanism changing my diet for my mental health and general growth etc#this notion has still remained#but it wasnt even normal erotomania it was something like#ive seen someone refer to it as persecutory erotomania#like erotomania but in the negative where it’s not all butterflies you think this person is AFTER you and wants to violate you
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i need to start talking about other twst ships i enjoy. like idikei. and kaliruggie. and epeldeuce. and jaderiddle
#jamie talks#txt post#jaderiddle is only there to keep yall on your toes#im like literally the only person who thinks theyre funny i think#i have a few other ships in the back of my mind that i keep to myself because i feel like ill get rocks thrown at me for it#not in like the THIS IS ILLEGAL way because ewww eww ew ew#just in the. i feel like i will get misinterpreted as a person if i speak about it because of the type of people i generally see liking it#idk this sounds like i have a persecution complex or somethingOh my god i literally do have persecutory delusions#sorry. i promise im seeing a therapist about that#anyways yeah i dont want to associate myself w the people who very vocally like (unnamed ships)#because the way they interpret them makes me so fucking mad YOU WILL NEVER GET THEM LIKE I DO
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my cat is playing with his toy and the sound it makes for some reason convinced my brain something is in my walls and in my bathroom and i just. what. what. what.
and now i cabt go to sleep because what if whenn i fall asleep something leaves the walls and kills me. what then. i cant go to sleep when its living in my bathroom walls and theres a hole in my bathroom wall and i cabt see in there and whatbit it lives there and i just cant see it. in too scared to look and i know i wont be able to see the inside of the wall fully . im.
sorry for posting im just.
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(derealization talked about, in the context of a delusion)
hi babydog! the past few days, we (system) have had a delusion that the two people in front are the only real people that exist. it's not super distressing, so we've kind of been handling it by somewhat ignoring it, but that isn't sustainable because it's basically just masking. do you have suggestions on how to handle it? (we're around safe people, if that helps).
also we noticed you saying that accepting a delusion can often cause harm, and i have a question; does "accepting a delusion" mean "this is something i will have to live with" or "this is completely true and will never change"? my guess is it's the second one, but i'm not entirely sure
i’m actually going to also pass this off to @scarsmood who will probably be able to provide much better help than i will!
my best advice is that sometimes i can sort of logic myself out of completing a paranoid urge. i can’t logic myself out of paranoia as a whole, but i can sometimes logic myself out of doing something i shouldnt or i can distract myself with something until the paranoia as a whole passes. huge emphasis on sometimes - it’s worth a try, but for me it rarely works out
& yes it’s the latter! accepting that you (general “you”) live with psychosis and may for the rest of your life is a good thing and can be the first step in recovery for some people. accepting delusions as your reality can be dangerous and i recommend it as a very very last resort in coping. it’s hard to say whether or not accepting delusions can be part of recovery or not though, because it has vastly different effects on different individuals
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father and daughter
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tw: details of delusions (clinical lycanthropy & gov. conspiracy theory stuff)
I've been slowly working out my breed/species...
I'm not quite sure about the wolf species - maybe just generic grey wolf lol - but definitely the dog part is one of the two FCI wolfdog breeds (Saarlooswolfhond (Saarloos Wolfdog) or Československý vlčák (Czechoslovakian Wolfdog/CSV) - or, hell, both or neither, they're both Eurasian wolf x German Shepherd crosses). when i look at pics of either breeds i go !! almost-me! brother! cousin! tail wags!!
heres some pics (all from wikipedia commons):
a saarloos
and some C̆eskys
especially those first 3 pics really howl speak to me
Saarlooswolfhonden in particular... they're shyer and more timid than CSVs, sometimes even agoraphobic. while CSVs are more outgoing and confident. still not quite right though... (i found this reddit post really helpful in differentiating between the two)
one thing i struggle with reconciling is being a wolf vs the wolf's extremely social nature. yes, i like to hang out with certain people, but i'm very introverted (hello autism & StPD) and having a day where i'm home alone is like a holiday for me. that... is not a wolf trait. wolves love other wolves and they need to have a pack.
GSDs on the other hand... sure they like to play with other dogs, and live with certain dogs, but in terms of human relations they have their One Person that they love and ignore everyone else. that's a lot more like me. and Saarlooswolfhonden are like that too - they may even not bond with any person in the family if they were brought home too old.
honestly i would just say i'm a Saarloos, if it weren't for the fact that i don't look like one - or rather, i would, if it was bigger, bulkier, shaggy and black. more wolfy.
CSVs were created from GSDs x Carparthian wolves, and Saarlooswolfhonden from GSDs x Siberian wolves, but both of those are subspecies of Eurasian wolves so i'm not sure if there's any difference in temperament, or in appearance...
i've been considering maybe red wolves (C. l. rufus) since i have a thing about coyotes too and red wolves probably have coyote admixture... their patterning feels "home" to me, though it doesn't match mine. but they're too small i think... maybe i'm just a wolfmutt lol
this is the part about the government delusion thing - be careful reading it if you're prone to persecutory / paranoid delusions
i was thinking about, if i'm biologically a (were)wolfdog, how does it not show up when i have blood tests and whatnot? and then i realised that it does... and the government is involved in a global conspiracy to cover it up, because they want werewolves as a kind of "super soldier". and i'm flagged in their system but not targeted cuz i'd be shit in the military LOL
... typing that out, man that's crazy. that's the kind of stuff that people in the psych ward talk about. i'm sure that's nothing to worry about LOL
#mmm should i make a CL blog.... maybe i will....#long post#no bold#dogpost#personal#hs' clinical zoanthropy#hs' psychosis#potentially psychosis triggering content#persecutory delusions tw#paranoid delusions tw#im not paranoid about this but some ppl might be so i'll tag it#described#described in alt text
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