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ladykailitha · 1 year

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Do You Know What Shovels Dig? Graves Part 3

So apparently love and comments are a surefire way to get me to write more, who knew?

*looks over at parts one and two* yeah so...I may do a proper write up this sometime because holy shit the errors in both were BAD. *realizes fully that this will probably be as bad if not worse*

And it may have a total of four parts. Plus this thing really needs a title. Suggest something in the comments. Because I don’t even know what it is at this point.

Eddie went back to Steve’s and spent the night. He told Steve about the meeting they had while he was asleep.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Steve murmured.

“The hell I didn’t,” Eddie growled. “Besides, I don’t think that Jonathan or Will was going to let it stand either. El, though? That was awesome.”

“So Joyce is going to make them apologize?” Steve asked, unsure.

“Yeah,” Eddie said. “And I’m going to talk to Uncle Wayne. I just don’t get why he did that. He likes you. Sometimes I think he likes you more than he likes me.”

“He was just trying to be protective of his boy,” Steve said softly.

Eddie kissed the top of Steve’s head. “I don’t care. I’m an adult. It just makes me mad about Hopper and Dustin. And Robin. Jesus Christ! What were they thinking?”

Steve sighed. “I don’t think they were.”

Eddie sighed, too. “Yeah. You’re probably right.”

Eddie strolled into the newly minted government funded house that they were given after the shit show with the earthquake, feeling a little better.

“What did I tell you about calling when you weren’t gonna be home?” Wayne asked. He had been waiting by the window for Eddie to come home.

Eddie shrugged. “Sorry about that, but Steve had a breakdown yesterday and I was too busy consoling my boyfriend.”

Wayne blinked. “Is he okay?”

Eddie turned to with a sneer. “Not really. It was something about ten shovel talks, two of them with an actual fucking shotgun. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?”

“Ten?!” Wayne squeaked. “I thought it was just me and Hop.”

Eddie ran his tongue over his teeth. “And that’s another thing. Why did Chief Hopper give Steve the shovel talk instead of me? You know, the metalhead, drug dealing, three-time senior?”

Wayne blinked. “I don’t know, son. You’re right. That doesn’t make sense. I just never thought it through when he suggested it. Just give Steve a bit of a scare to take care of you.”

“I would think that of the two of us,” Eddie growled, “the one with absent parents, three concussions, and a hopeless romantic would be the one that needs taking care of, not the out and loud metalhead who’s older.”

Wayne’s shoulders slumped. “You’re right, Ed. It’s just that beneath that hard exterior, you’re soft and tender. And I wanted him to know that.”

Eddie gave a high pitched noise of distress. “He knows! That’s why he fell in love with me in the first place. God! Do you not see how messed up this all is?”

Wayne pulled Eddie in for a hug and he went reluctantly. “I do. And I’m sorry your boy got hurt. That wasn’t my intention. Bring him over for dinner and I’ll apologize proper.”

Eddie nodded. “Jonathan said he wanted to throw himself into the pool,” he whispered into his uncle’s shoulder. “I could have lost him.”

Wayne let out a curse. “I’m sorry, Ed. This has gotten so far out of control and it never should have happened. I’ll make it up to Steve. I promise.”

Hopper showed up at Steve’s door sometime after Eddie had left to go shower and change.

“Get dressed,” Hopper growled. “We’re going for a ride.”

Steve crossed his arms. “This another shovel talk? Because if it is you can shove it up your ass.”

Hopper’s shoulders slumped. “No, son. It’s an apology.”

Steve eyed him warily but went to go get dressed. He wrote a note for Eddie and taped it to the front the door. “All right let’s go.”

They drove out to the diner and Steve was told get a milkshake. Steve got a double fudge brownie milkshake, while Hopper got a plain strawberry.

“I just wanted ya to know before I get into the actual apology,” Hopper began. “That ya have a lot of people looking out for ya. Joyce, my El. Even Wayne chewed me out once he found out from Eddie about all the other shovel talks.”

Steve raised a skeptical eyebrow.

“The shotgun thing was all my idea,” Hopper explained. “He wasn’t even gonna do it until I brought it up. It was supposed to be funny. Just a little joke from us to you. I don’t know why everyone else got involved and I am sorry about that.”

“But why me?” Steve cried, his voice cracking on the last word. “I thought--I mean I looked up to you! If I wanted a bully I would have called my real dad.” He was suddenly on his feet.

Hopper looked up at him in shame. “Sit down, Steve. Come on. Please?”

Steve stood there breathing heavily for a moment before he sat back down. Hopper glanced around them and saw that no one was looking.

“You do realize your reputation, don’t you?” Hopper asked after a moment.

“Well, it’s bullshit,” Steve grumbled. “It was all Tommy Hagen spreading rumors to help me get laid. I’ve been with a handful of girls. Sure I’ve dated a lot. But that’s because they leave me.”

“Oh.” Hopper reached across the table and took Steve’s hand. “I’m really sorry, kid. You have no idea. I’m cop. I’m shouldn’t have taken your reputation at face value. I know you’re a good kid with a good head on his shoulders.”

Steve nodded. “I guess it’s just that no one stuck up for me. I just wanted one person to see that I was worthy of defense, too.”

Hopped tilted his head back to stop the tears that threatened to overflow. “Come over here.”

Steve got up and shuffled over to the other side of the booth. Hopper put his arm around him and tucked Steve’s head under his chin. “That’s a valid feeling. And you absolutely deserve that.”

Steve arrived back at his place just as Eddie pulled up in his van.

As Hopper drove off, Eddie turned to Steve. “I hope that was a lot of groveling.”

Steve nodded. “It was. A milkshake, too.”

Eddie nodded back. “Good. You deserve nothing less.“

Steve let them in, pulling the note and handing it to Eddie, because he knew Eddie would be curious to know what it said.

“Thanks for the note, babe,” Eddie said. “I’m glad you got here first, though.”

“You’re welcome. It was also for anyone else who might have tried to come apologize,” Steve explained as he made his way to the kitchen.

He pulled out two water bottles and handed one to Eddie. “I don’t know why I get so thirsty after getting milkshakes.”

“That’s because, beautiful, you always get the richest milkshake on the menu,” Eddie teased.

“But it’s also the best!” Steve protested.

Eddie kissed his cheek. “It sure is.” He chew on his lip for a moment. “Uncle Wayne wants you to stop by for dinner tonight.”

Steve raised an eyebrow. “Wow. Okay. Yeah, sure. According to Hop, Wayne also called him to bitch him out.”

Eddie grinned. “I know, I was listening. It was glorious.”

Steve laughed.

The second Steve walked into the Munson’s house, Wayne pulled in him for a hug.

“I’m sorry, Stevie,” Wayne murmured. “I know you’ll take care of my nephew. Because he takes care of you.”

Steve nodded, melting into the embrace.

Wayne gently pulled away. “Come on, I made your favorite.”

Steve’s eyes lit up. “Holy shit, really?”

Wayne laughed. “I don’t know why you like it so much. It’s super simple.”

“But that’s why it’s so good,” Steve said. “I love your tater tot casserole.”

Wayne waved him in. “Then come on then. It’s hot and waiting for ya.”

They talked and Wayne properly apologized. And after dinner Wayne put on a pre-season football game and got Steve laughing and cheering in no time at all.

Wayne and Eddie shared a glance over Steve’s head. Yeah, this boy was theirs now.

***

And I’ll see about having the last part up tonight. It’ll be everyone apologizing. The reason they didn’t apologize the next day (not only to give Wayne and Hopper a chance to apologize) is because they had to do some real soul searching before they did. Especially Robin and Nancy.

I also hope I got everyone who wanted to be tagged.

Part four Part Five Part Six

Tag: @justforthedead89 @zerokrox-blog @ihavekidneys @didntwant2come @thelittleclare @liorereshkigal @estrellami-1 @swimmingbirdrunningrock

#My writing #stranger things #steddie #jonathan and steve are friends #ladykailtiha writes

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pacifymebby · 2 years

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peaky blinders hc for what it would be like to be dating them/married to them!! xx

So i did married to them, hope thats alright xx

Tommy

🌿 Determined to make sure things are different this time, good and true, he wanted to marry you with the gypsies. So you had your wedding in the fields at the Golds settlement.

🌿Dangerous goes without saying, naturally, however somehow its worse than you imagined. You always thought Tommy was being dramatic when he said it would get worse once you were married

🌿 But it got worse, there have been multiple attempts on your life and Tommy is more protective of you than ever

🌿 He doesn't always show it in the best or most romantic of ways, sometimes he stays late at work, hours late because hes trying to pull together a plan that will keep you safe. He doesn't tell you often enough that its you hes thinking of, its yours and his future which keeps him going.

🌿Puts a lot of pressure on himself for things to be different this time. Hes been married in the past and failed to treat people right, he won't let himself go wrong again.

🌿When things get bad and youre scared - though you try to be brave for your husband - Tommy tries to get you to talk to him and admit your fears, says its good to be scared, shows youre still innocent, shows you're still alive.

🌿That kind of talk scares you more though and so he ends up bringing you into his lap/arms, cradling you to his body and whispering promises to keep you safe, to never leave you.

🌿Tells you stories, that if things get really bad you'll get a wagon together and dissappear never to return. You'll chanhe your names, leave everything behind, just you amd him together. You know it will never happen like that but the story comforts you every time.

🌿 Doesnt involve you in the business at all, determined to keep you pure and innocent. Even if he knows deep down its impossible.

🌿Spoils you, mostly with pretty jewellery and animals. Buys you dogs, always takes you with him to buy horses.

🌿Has a horse he keeps just for the two of you and takes you riding as often as he can.

🌿 Sometimes in the summer the two of you dissappear for days on that horse, living like gypsies where no one can reach you. These are his favourite memories. Brings himself hell from the rest of the family upon your return, but its worth it every time.

🌿 Youre one of the only people who can talk any sense into him, hes always talking to you about "mutual respect" and how hes heard its the most important thing in a marriage. So whenever you argue, and if you step out of line, he'll stop you and remind you.

🌿 "What is it we have love? Remind me eh i think I've forgotten?" "respect Tommy," you sigh. "Mutual respect, that means it goes both ways... Right," he pats your cheek lightly, his cheeky smile gets under your skin "that'll be that then eh."

🌿 The longer goes by the less he feels haunted by Grace. You're a mother to his children and he talks to you all the time about having a baby with you. Whenever you have sex he tells you thats what he wants.

🌿 Still calls you his angel, still believes you were sent from heaven to heal him.

Alfie

🐻 Good, quiet, stable and steady. Alfie treasures you and isnt going to let anything happen to you. Which means you lead a remarkably quiet life for a ganstas wife.

🐻 He keeps you out of business, and for the most part, keeps himself out of business too.

🐻 He made a joke at the wedding saying that if anyone tried to joke around and ask if he was the father of the bride, he'd cut them. You know he wasn't really joking, you know he occassionally does worry hes too old for you.

🐻 "Sure you wouldn't rather be out there with handsome young men your own age?"

🐻 The plain and simple answer is no... The longer answer is still no, but followed with lots of questions. For one, why on earth would you want to be with any of those arrogant younger men who waste all their money on snow and whiskey, who dont care for their women and sleep around... Your alfie is so good to you, devoted to you, takes care of you, hes your gruff and grumpy bear. You like thats hes a little old fashioned, that he has manners, that hes your old man.

🐻 Takes baths with you, candle lit, when the rooms all steamy he makes you lie back against his chest whilst he washes you. He hums you little tunes, tells you he thinks hes gonna write an opera one day. You joke and ask who will be his muse, you or tommy shelby. And when you make jokes like that he takes your wet hair and wraps it round his fist, tugs on it gently but harsh enough to pull your head back so that youre looking up at him.

🐻 "Remember our rules right ziskeit, you don't mention the name of the devil, we dont talk about cursed men right in this here home of ours" its like hes almost superstitious about it. Doesnt want you to say Tommys name because the man is cursed and the curse catches.

🐻 When you apologise you kiss each of his finger tips.

🐻 He bakes you bread (actual bread) all the time, especially when hes stressed, the kneeding is theraputic for him. Sometimes he gets you to help him, teaches you the proper way to do it with his hands over yours.

🐻 Eventually you move to margate together, he likes it better that way, thinks you can really be safe, thinks you'll finally be away from Tommy Shelby for good. He misses his old friend but he's glad to keep the curse away from you.

🐻 Can't sleep at night without you resting your head on his chest. Likes to comb his fingers through your hair until he falls asleep.

🐻 Likes to help you dress in the mornings, brushes your hair, lets you teach him how to make it pretty, but complains his fingers are too big and clumsy, not dainty like yours. But you like it better when Aflie does your hair for you, you feel prettier knowing his hands made you up like that.

Arthur

🍂 Tumultuous to say the least. This is one traumatised man and you accepted the ups and downs of your relationship a long time ago. Your one rule is that he never suffers alone.

🍂You want to go through everything with him, you never want him to be alone snowed up and sad drunk so even when he gets himself in a terrible state, even when he begs you to leave him because he doesnt want you to see him like that, you stay with him, you hold him whilst he cries, you weather his temper knowing he will never hurt you.

🍂 He does scare you, when he breaks things it scares you, but you know he loves you, you know its not really him but his illness, you've stood and watched him destroy a room before and then said "You gonna come here now and let your wife look after you?"

🍂 You hold his head to your chest and soothe him to sleep. Kiss his hair, tell him you know hes a good man. You tell him you love him all the time.

🍂 Despite the fact youre married he still has a complex, still thinks he doesnt deserve your love still thinks hes ruining your life, is terrified of corrupting you, but you never let those thoughts linger and refuse to take him seriously when he tells you.

🍂 "Dont be daft my darling husband, you deserve all the love in the world and I'll be damned if you get it from any woman but me..."

🍂 His heart is always in the right place even if his romantic plans dont always go to plan. Sometimes he buys you flowers but forgets to give them to you until theyve already wilted. Hes tried to cook for you and nearly set the house on fire.

You find it funny and endearing however, it means all the more to you that he tries so hard for you.

🍂 The sex is so good, and maybe a little relentless, because hes determined to be an honest man now he takes his full sexual appetite out on you and its exhausting in the best way possible. When hes pissed off you like to tease him into taking his frustration out on you sexually.

🍂 Naturally being the wife of a peaky blinder is dangerous, you and arthur both know that and your being so precious to him does mean that he is sometimes a little zealous trying to protect you.

🍂Men have lost teeth for looking at you.

🍂 And men who have actually tried to harm you... You didn't witness every death so you couldn't possibly say what happens to them...

🍂 Does make you feel powerful, you like how it makes you feel like a dangerous woman. You try to keep that secret though as arthur would hate to think he'd corrupted your morals in any way other than sexually.

John

🌼 John is a good husband because hes a good lad, a decent, honest, caring lad. He always did have a little more good in him than his brothers.

🌼 He takes being your husband seriously, he wants to provide for you, protect you, wouldnt see himself as a man if he couldnt keep his wife and home happy.

🌼 Wants a big happy family with you. Finds great comfort in sitting down at the kitchen table with all the weans running around, playing games like him and his brothers used to when they were kids, seeing you his wife there too. Its comforting to have this heavenly little bit of peace, even if its a kind of peace which is pure chaos.

🌼 Hes attentive, always checking in on his flower. He wants you to always be happy.

🌼 He's also still got the heart of a boy, hes childish and silly, likes playing games with you, will chase you around the garden, through the house, sling you over his shoulder when he catches you.

🌼 Plays with the kids, is a good father as well as a good husband, but definitely is the kind of father that ropes the kids into his tricks and uses them to help wind you up.

🌼 Cuddles up to you all the time, likes to catch your hand as you walk past him and pull you into a hug. Refuses to let you go, makes you put up a fight.

🌼 Lowkey always horny, is looking for any excuse and opportunity to fuck you.

🌼 Brings gifts back for you from the city, brings you flowers. Threads them through your hair.

🌼 Always trying to steal kisses from you.

🌼 At family meetings he stands by you, with his arm around your waist and his hand holding yours. He wont let anybody talk down to you. He takes protecting you very seriously.

🌼 Would throw himself in front of you, take a bullet for you, run into a burning building for you in a heartbeat. He takes being your husband very seriously.

Bonnie

🍀 Bonnie is the sweetest husband and he takes being your husband very seriously indeed, sometimes a little too seriously, which is adorable.

🍀"I'm your husband, I've got to look after you," "Got to keep my lovely wife safe and sound haven't i..."

🍀Makes you all these promises of how your life will be when hes a world famous fighter.

🍀 Treats you like youre still courting, picks you wildflowers, takes pride in catching good meat for you. Brings you little gifts back from the city. Sometimes he steals you little gifts from the city.

🍀 A boy of tradition, couldn't see you the night before the wedding...

🍀 The wedding was in spring, it was pure and blissful, you danced the whole night with him around the fires. It was a raucous celebration by all accounts and when it came to consumating

🍀 Now he dreams of having children with you, wants to be a father to your babies so badly... And telling you that when hes burried inside you makes you both hold onto one another even tighter in your passion.

🍀 He used to be nervous to have you at his fights but now youre his good luck charm... Not that he needs any luck but still, he likes to be able to look over and see his little dove rooting for him.

🍀 You insist upon being the one to help him prepare for the fight, youre the one who wraps his hands carefully. You put your forehead to his and your noses brush when you tell him to make sure he wins. 🍀You also insist upon being the one to patch him up afterwards. He doesnt like you getting your hands dirty like that, says you shouldnt be the one cleaning him up but you always argue. "Womens hands are more delicate and careful than mens, and I'm not having any other woman back here with you..."

🍀Besides its a good way of getting him alone after the fight. You love seeing the animalistic side of him that the fights bring out in him and watching him in the ring makes you want him pretty desperately...

🍀 Especially because its the only time you can trick him into being anything but careful with you. You like how hard he fucks you when he's still burning with adrenaline.

🍀And then afterwards when youre both coming down together how gentle he is with you, how concerned he is that he might have gone too hard and hurt you.

🍀He'll hold you in his lap, still burried inside you, scatter you in kisses, especially if you happen to have bruises on your neck and shoulders from his bites.

🍀"I'm so sorry little dove, do you hurt?" "Its a good kind of hurt Bonnie, it feels good," but he'll make sure to kiss every one better multiple times whilst he tells you how precious you are.

🍀Its not that he's insecure, he isn't at all, he knows you'd never pay another man any mind whatsoever, but its the principle of things... He believes in his morals and traditions and thinks other men should too... You don't hit girls, you show women respect, you protect them... And you don't flirt with other mens wives.

🍀 So if someone isn't respectful enough of you for his liking, he'll teach them a lesson.

🍀 And when he catches other men looking at you with lust in their eyes, he makes a cheeky little display of kissing you and holding you and letting everyone know youre his.

🍀 Puts his cap on your head sometimes when youre walking. Just to let everyone know youre the wife of a peaky boy.

Isaiah

🐀No one thought they'd see Isaiah married so young, but when he found out you were carrying his child he didn't exactly settle down but he did show everyone how serious he was about you.

🐀His father did the ceremony, it was small but lavish. A family and peakys affair, with a roaring party at the Garrison afterwards.

🐀He has you give up working, won't have his wife and the mother of his child going to work when he can provide plenty enough for the three of you by himself.

🐀You worry about him a lot. Not because you dont think hes capable of looking after himself but because you know just how capable he is of getting himself into trouble.

🐀And he does get himself into trouble, especially over you, doesnt hesitate to pick a fight with anyone whose eye you catch, now that youre his wife he takes his role as your "protector" extra seriously, not only that but he views you as his property, and no one else should be laying a finger or glance at those which belong to him.

🐀You tell him all the time you wish he'd calm down a little, get into less scraps but he says "What kind of a husband would i be if i didnt defend the honor of my wife"

🐀Really likes reminding you that youre his wife... As if you could ever forget it. Tells you youre his all the time. Makes you tell him that youre his.

🐀"Who do you belong to?" when hes fucking you, "You Isaiah, you..." "And only me..."

🐀Just because youre his wife and an honest woman doesnt mean youre having pure and honest sex... Hes rough with you, fucks you hard and fast and mercilessly.

🐀Although he likes seeing you in his jacket, he sees it as a status symbol that his wife should have lots of glamourous things of her own, so you have your own coat, which he always reminds you to wear. "What kind of husband lets his wife leave the house half dressed?" you tell him hes being dramatic.

🐀But he doesnt see it that way, he thinks you deserve the whole world, all the glamour and riches you could ever wish for, he isnt going to give you and his baby anything less than just that.

🐀Is definitely a dominant husband, has lots of ideas about the way a marriage should be and he is determined to do things properly.

🐀Tells you youre the reason he takes on dangerous jobs, that everything he does with the peakys is for you, to get a better life for you and your baby.

🐀Doesnt listen when you say you dont need anything other than him, that you only need him alive and healthy and there with you. That success and wealth mean nothing if you can't have him with you.

Michael

☘️ He comes off as cold to you sometimes. He doesnt mean to but sometimes he upsets you when he gets distant, too focussed on impressing Tommy Shelby and living up to the family name.

☘️ But when he realises what hes done and how hes hurt you he softens and warms to you immediately. Doesnt apologise for the way he has been because this is Michael and he never apologises, but he does remind you why, tells you its all for you.

☘️ Youre not sure you completely believe him there, you know some of it at least is feeding his ego, he wants everything his cousin has and more, but youre happy to let him believe that you believe his lie.

☘️And he does spoil you, youre his wife and so you must have the best, be the most spoilt woman in the room, he buys you the most beautiful dresses, has them made special for you.

☘️ His favourite thing is to buy you jewelery, especially necklaces. He has you stand in front of the mirror and watch whilst he puts it around your neck and fixes the clasp.

☘️ Then he takes the rest of your clothes off one by one, until youre only wearing the necklace, and he fucks you in the mirror, "look at all these pretty things i own," hes talking about you, "my beautoful wife, isnt she good letting me dress her up and fuck her whenever i choose"

☘️ Loves the symbolism of marriage, that youre his property that he owns you and can corrupt you. Likes that youre a well behaved, good girl who does as her husband tells her.

☘️ Kind of enjoys seeing how other men lust after you, enjoys knowing that he really does have the most beautiful woman. If he catches tommy admiring you he is both smug and pleased with himself whilst also pissed off and possesive.

☘️ In other words he has crossed a line and threatened Tommy for admiring you.

☘️ He's arrogant and it gets him into trouble a lot. You spend a lot of time soothing his wounded ego and talking him down from potential fights and bad ideas

☘️ You use sex to distract him a lot, worshipping him and really showering his ego with praise.

#peaky blinders headcanon #Peaky blinders imagine #arthur shelby x reader #tommy shelby x reader #bonnie gold x reader #Isaiah jesus x ready #john shelby x reader #alfie solomons fanfic

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tabr1-s · 23 days

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sunday rant and personal frustrations with him that i begun to write at 6am running on an entire 3 and a half hours of sleep (my cats woke me up.....)

(tldr at the end. i might be as bad as Sunday in terms of yap mileage (yappage) but i'll do one better than him and provide you with the concise version if you scroll all the way down.)

i have never felt such intense emotions about a character's moral viewpoint... Ever. and i've liked characters that were mass murderers before. morals (or lack thereof) usually never played a significant role in whether i liked a character or not (unless they did something i considered worse than plain ol murder, then i wouldn't associate with them), and 99% of the time i could find the character's motivations understandable under the circumstances that they were in.

and, technically, i can understand where Sunday is coming from too.

but that doesn't stop me from being Absolutely pissed at him.

(sunday-esque yap about myself incoming, i will eventually get to the point (which i will highlight))

as someone who has been told that i have "ocd features" Multiple times by my psychiatrist (practically each session) i understand the need for control. my obsessiveness manifests in the form of feeling the need to control practically everything - my current obsession for control being my own emotions, which extends to needing to control entire situations, and in turn makes me severely overthink all the possible outcomes to those given situations. i've also been guilty of controlling others before, and having the mentality of "i know what's best for you". hell, i still feel like that a lot, but i really try to push it back.

and this need for "control" is mainly the reason why i even find comfort in fiction. because it's oftentimes very predictable to me (it also made me think of how i do not find any interest in reading books, but i love writing stories of my own. particularly fan-fiction. and the only time i can feel comfortable enough to feel romance is towards fictional characters - because i control the narrative! it's something to think about.). if i like a character or a narrative, it's easy for me to pick apart where the writers will go with that story. and, even if the story turns out to disappoint me/be different than what i hoped for, i would still be Prepared for that possibility.

i somehow... failed to prepare for what would happen with Sunday.

i had set my sights on the wrong thing for 2.2. i invested my whole energy on trying to comfort myself that hoyo wouldn't take the ipc colonialism route (basically turning out to be capitalist/colonialist apologists) with penacony (which i Guess will be explored in 2.3? but now that i have some more context on the story and how it's unraveling i'm not as anxious about it anymore), that i overlooked a lot of other things that could've gone wrong.

namely, my favourite hsr character to be... Like that. (i'm not even being intentionally vague. i'm just dumbfounded)

i had Heard of the theory that Sunday is possessed by Ena (which didn't particularly make sense to me, and i refused to look at leaks concerning Sunday lest they upset me. either way i Really hated that theory. plus, Sunday being said to have ocd would've been an incredibly cheap way to foreshadow that he's "possessed" by the Order. you can't just create your first(?) important/playable character that has a confirmed mental illness and then go "it's okay actually he's Normal! he was just possessed". i took this very personally. and still am.), and saw a lot of theories concerning his involvement with the Order as well. i shut it all out, because i didn't like the implications of that.

which in turn made me Not think/comfort myself regarding the possibilities that he truly Was connected to the Order.

...

well, rest in pieces, me - it's always the things i don't pay much attention to/ignore/fail to think about. which is actually a bit strange because i was not expecting him to be an entirely sane person from the start - he was a politician type, a leader, and a manipulator, to name a few things. that much was obvious. in 2.0-2.1 i wouldn't have been surprised if it turned out that he was the one that "killed" Robin. again, nothing was out of the question. but, 2.1 showed a different side of him. one that cared for his sister and (seemingly) listened to her and cared about what she thought. so they became quite a comforting little sibling duo to me. tragic, yet you could depend on their mutual trust in eachother... or so i thought.

and then he... went and did all That. which just showed me how, despite him caring for his sister, he was still putting other things above her.

to conclude with my yap: in a sense, he is just my "grim reflection of the self". and although i feel sympathetic towards my past self and how naive and selfish i used to be, there are some flaws of mine i will never forgive myself for. and, Sunday, in a way, reminded me of... Everything. it was almost triggering.

(hey, writing this all down in one place helped me calm down! (it's a neverending cycle that will continue tomorrow. all it will take is seeing a post concerning him and his sister and i'll get pissed anew) yay!)

the point(s) (aka my qualms):

- how sunday manipulated robin + was planning to use her in the charmony festival to complete his plan. she was going to be an unwilling participant in creating a "utopia" that she would've been absolutely against, but he didn't stop to fucking. fill her in, maybe? talk it out? the sheer disrespect on the concept of free will and on the fact that your own sister is a human being of her own sickens me

- he should've cherished the relationship he had with her (x1000 because that's the ONE FAMILY MEMBER YOU HAD LEFT AND THAT IS SUCH A PRIVILEGE!!! IMAGINE HAVING SOMEONE CARE ABOUT YOU WHOLEHEARTEDLY AND THEN YOU GO AND THROW IT AWAY!!! YEAH I'VE ALMOST DONE THE SAME EXACT THING MULTIPLE TIMES (AND STILL WOULD) BUT THAT'S WHY I ALSO KNOW HOW MUCH OF AN ASSHOLE MOVE IT IS!!!)

- he forsook his own self and shoved down his own biases and interests (fucking rat. you can't change the fact you're human and i'm very much saying that from experience) to become something Grander than life itself and in fucking turn isolated himself and shut out the one person who actually cared and then had the Gall to complain about being misunderstood/alone. (when you're finally sitting in your unreachable throne in this "dream" that you've created, who will you blame for being lonely? who will you blame when you have no one to fall back into? no one to support you? when everybody you did this for forsakes You?)

- HE DIDN'T EVEN HUG ROBIN BACK AT THE LAST SCENE. LIKE SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR FAILED PLANS AND COME DOWN FROM THE CLOUDS A LITTLE - THE JOY YOU SEEK FOR IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!

- all i hoped for was that sunday and robin would reunite and get the chance to be happy together, and the only true reason i'm mad is because i'm guilty of a lot of the same self sacrificial behaviours as him and very much understand the sentiment of "my loved ones would be better off without my negative presence and influence". but instead of empathizing with him, i feel betrayed. i thought he was better than me. i thought he was someone worthy of admiration, and that doesn't come easily from me. despite all the warning signs i fell for his obvious facade, and i Very rarely get taken by surprise - especially in a way like this.

- if it wasn't for the fact that Robin would feel sad if Sunday died i would personally go and strangle him myself

tldr; i'm just a big baby that placed a lot of faith on Sunday and his relationship with Robin post 2.1 and my ego took a Huge hit once he turned out to be just some immature emo idealist type. (come on, man - i genuinely thought you were better than me! someone worthy of respect! and i usually have a feeling of superiority over others! this was the biggest compliment/act of faith i could give! (talking to a wall (fictional character (I'M FUCKING UPSET))))

#despite all this i do not hate him. i'm just really disappointed at how he acted with robin #i will still be pulling for him; at least that way i'll be able to have both the siblings on the same team #^(haha it's like they never got separated! i'm completely fine and not delusional)#honkai star rail #hsr #hsr 2.2 #hsr 2.2 spoilers #sunday hsr #hsr sunday #robin hsr #hsr robin #ramblings #1442 words and i could've written waaay more if i didn't get tired/bored of this

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the-bonfires-ember · 29 days

Text

ok so this has a lot of facets so bear with me. standard disclaimer that this is all based on my personal experiences as a narcissistic sociopath; im not a professional and i dont speak for everyone.

anyway.

firstly, yes we do. i think prosocials/egotypicals do it too to an extent but for different reasons and in different ways.

from an aspd perspective, i get annoyed at people and it is no longer to my benefit to stick around them, ill just disappear in a classic ghosting style. frankly i never get to this point anymore because ive managed to surround myself with people i very rarely if ever find annoying. in the past, when ive befriended people and then theyve frustrated me or ive just generally found them annoying for some reason, ive either slowly extricated myself if i could keep getting stuff out of the person or just totally destroyed the relationship so that they stopped reaching out and i could stop expending energy into dodging them. in my head if someone has pissed me off, it means that its going to keep happening and theyve just finally shown me their true colours so i might as well get out now or detach myself so im not going to emotionally invested enough to get annoyed again in the future. essentially this means i stop caring about them at all. as for how fear factors in; it goes a pretty long way back into people being fundamentally untrustworthy and only beneficial in as much as i can get from them. if im putting up with more than im getting out of it, id just walk away because everyone is out for themselves and of course that applies to me too. thats the way ive been taught the world works, and if im not getting any emotional backlash for doing that, why wouldnt i? it just makes sense. im fundamentally out for myself because no one else has been there to help when i needed them in the past.

from an npd perspective, if someones annoying me its likely because i am thinking of myself as being vastly superior to them and find the annoying quirks of them to be proof of their inferiority. the fact that theyve disagreed with me or fought me on something means they dont have the degree of respect and admiration for me that they should. this usually leads to me discarding them out of frustration and ill push them away by just showing less and less interest in them, or the ways i would that i mentioned above. the fear here, as you may be able to guess, is being wrong and being weaker/worse/unworthy. for me, being right and being more esteemed than my peers was a matter of survival in my childhood, and now if someone is starting to chip into the veneer or perfection ive built and maintained they have become a threat and i have to separate before they see too much and i lose everything.

now i dont know why you - orginal messager - asked this question, or why anyone else might be looking for this informatio. i can come up with a few guesses though, so im gonna add a couple things that applies to prosocials and other things that apply to antisocials and narcissists. but ill tuck that away so you can ignore my advice if you want to and just take the analysis.

prosocials - if you have a friend with either of these personality disorders and they are beginning to withdraw theres a choice before you. firstly, you can let them. you can recognise that this person doesnt want to associate with you anymore for whatever reason and allow yourself to be at peace with that. im sure it hurts, especially after what ive said about my reasons for doing this, but if you think you are better off just letting this one go, i support that and encourage you to just slip away with a clean break.

the other option you have, if you want to try your best to keep that person with you, is to address it plain as day. its uncomfortable, yes, but try not to be confrontational. a simple 'hey, ive noticed you distancing yourself and withdrawing and i wanted to check in and find out why and whether or not we can resolve this'. perhaps its cold of me to ask this of you, im not entirely certain one way or the other. but you deserve to try and make it work if thats what you want, and the only way that happens is by addressing the problems and really, truly understanding that the behaviours we exhibit come from a place of fear and the memory of pain. they are trauma disorders. and while trauma does not excuse harmful behaviours it does no one any favours to ignore that its the root of the problem. maybe your friend will brush you off, thats true. they might not be ready to look deeper and thats their right. at which point youve done all you can and now you need to prioritise yourself. but maybe youll make your friend reevaluate, maybe they want to heal. and you can be such a huge part of that by just asking the questions and really listening to the response. its hard work, i know, but i will always be so grateful for the people who made me stop and look at myself and really see.

the third choice is you pretend its not happening and just wait to see if they get past it and come back. they might, its not implausible, but to me this feels like inviting yourself to be treated poorly again later when symptoms flare again and those fears react to something you dont understand or know about.

pwASPD and/or NPD - im not going to try and tell you that you owe it to the people around you to recover. im never saying that. recovery is your decision and it should only be for you. i chose recovery because i wanted to see what i wasnt able to before, and it has been so fucking hard. but id do it again in a heartbeat. its important to note though that i got lucky. really really fucking lucky, and id be doing you a disservice if i pretended otherwise. on that note, here is my advice for those who want to get better and those who dont:

if you dont, if you dont want to see the fear that is reacting to the perceived threat, if its still too painful to look at, just dont. let yourself be blind to it and find comfort in the ways you can. its not cowardly, and its not pathetic. sometimes forcing yourself to stare into a fire is more damaging than its worth, and you are the only one who can decide if it is or not. only you know how close to that fire you are. perhaps its better to distance yourself from this person even if its just for now, or perhaps its better to leave entirely. it depends on how uncomfortable you feel. but i suggest figuring it out quickly and saving yourself the trouble that will come if you string someone along for too long. its always blown up in my face eventually, for what my experience is worth, so deciding on your next move sooner than later saves you a lot of trouble. but perhaps the perks are better than the blow up later on. who am i to say.

if you do want to recover though, firstly, give yourself some credit. the way you are reacting is because this has kept you alive and safe this long, dont let yourself forget that. you arent ridiculous or pathetic or cowardly or whatever else your brain might be saying you are. you are alive, and you are deciding to grow past your trauma and the responses youve learnt to cope with it and thats fucking huge. dont forget it. now the first thing you want to do is really look at what is making you uncomfortable. something is, but itll take some digging. these survival methods run deep, and tracing back to the root of the issue will take time and a lot of work and so much fucking courage. its not easy, im not going to lie, but you can do it. you are worth the time and the work it takes to get the things you want for yourself. find out whats messing with you and see how you can resolve it, either by discussing it with your friend and letting them support you or just rationalising it with yourself. understand that you are able to keep yourself safe, you just have to figure out what you are afraid of being vulnerable to. youre going to be ok, and for the record, im really proud of you.

obviously to everyone: do whatever the fuck you want to forever. im not here to tell you to change your entire life just because i say you should, even im not that egotistical. im just offering my experiences and observations, its up to you what you do with them.

#ask #cluster b #actually aspd #actually narcissistic #npd #aspd #actually npd #aspd safe #npd safe #cluster b safe #trauma related #trauma response #trauma recovery

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ladyylavenderrr · 3 months

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Re: Garak and psychosis

Hi! I do a lot of thinking about Garak, and I also read a lot of psychotic traits on him! I think while they didn't write him thinking of textbook psychosis, a man who has lied so much he can't really tell truth from lie because, to him, "truth is in the eye of the beholder" has to have some level of separation from reality. This is a rather looooong analysis, mostly of events that happen in "The Wire", but I promise I have a point lol.

So. I've been thinking about his "lies" to Bashir about his past, and one thing that caught my attention was the hesitation at calling Elim "... my friend";

once we found out that he is Elim himself, some stuff from the infirmary monologue got very curious: "we grew up together", true; "we were closer than brothers", true, in a very literal way; "for some reason, Enabrin Tain took a liking to us" well, the reason is that he is his father, that's some reason;

Now, I'll address his separation of Elim from Garak: I'd say that growing up keeping the secret about who his father was, living a double life from the beggining, then such a split of the ego is almost inevitable.

Elim is the son, the one who knows the truth, the one who knows Cardassia's love of the family and the people is a lie told to keep powerful men powerful; Tain was the Order, the Order was Cardassia, thus Cardassia's symbol is a man who is a hypocrite, one who betrays his own family- And Garak is the spy. The citizen, the servant of the State. As Tain says himself, he never had to ask Garak to put the implant in his brain, or to do anything - he was so eager to please, and that's what made him special.

He would keep the truth, one that would make his work unbearable, as something of Elim, while he would be plain and simple Garak, the muscle, the man who did the dirty work without asking any questions. The man to whom family and state, two things he was alienated from from birth, were everything, regardless of how much his work went against that.

Onto the next bit, now: in the end of his monologue, Garak tells a more complicated story to fit into this analogy- he says he faked records to incriminate Elim, only to find out in the end that Elim had beaten him to it; Elim had destroyed him, and before he knew what was going on, he was sentenced to exile;

But once we know that he is Elim, and if we keep the same logic that Elim represents his inner sense of truth - of knowing he is being used in a very cruel way and that none of that makes any sense - then it's logical that he would sometimes be one step ahead, and sometimes be killed by Garak in the blindness of duty; sometimes watching in horror as he let himself be driven by hunger or fatigue instead of seeing his duty to the end, for he knew the consequences;

Then, it would be Garak's inner sense of truth, of reality, what destroyed him as the soldier, the spy. Maybe he actually did let those bajorans go for any reason whatsoever, maybe he framed himself for it- I'd say he broke down, some way or another. And he says he deserves it for what he tried to do to Elim, his own screaming sense of reason; much like Marritza killed his past self to die as Darheel - it is the coward, who covered his ears because he couldn't stand to hear the screams for mercy of the Bajorans, who couldn't stand to look at the truth and do something about it, the one who deserves to be punished.

He became a man who is distressed and anxious during an interrogation, willing to take any answer no matter how irrelevant, just so he doesn't have to keep torturing someone he's kind of friends with, like what happens with Odo later on. We didn't see him do any torturing before that, so maybe he wasnt capable of doing it like he used to before he was exiled, not as a consequence of it; Imo life on DS9 made it "worse" as he became, slowly, part of a community like never before.

And then, there's Bashir. Again, Garak is a man who adores the state and the family, and has neither. A man who spent his life having no ties to anyone that he couldnt cut immediately, sometimes by killing the person if it was the most efficient way.

On his deathbed, after being really rude and hateful towards Bashir while Bashir lost sleep and thought of nothing but saving him for days, he comes up with this magnificent story, that ends with something that can be interpreted as "I deserve this. Not for betraying Cardassia, the State, but for betraying my best friend." And as he says "my best friend", he stares at Bashir. He then asks for forgiveness, as if he was also asking for Bashir to forgive him for his betrayal of their friendship, for the things he said. He needs to know that, if he can't forgive himself for the horrors, at least someone is capable of forgiving him.

Always full of layers to his half truths and truthful lies, even when he really thinks he's gonna die. He haf-believes it, as a half-truth, even the bits that are made-up; That's where I'd say his link to reality is broken. Idk if any of this makes sense, but this is how I read into it, as someone who has psychotic symptoms and traits, but also as a nerd who loves to nit-pick complex characters like him.

Peace and long life 🖖

I think it’s always really interesting if Garak truly does believe some of the lies he tells, at least partially. I really like your analysis!!

#star trek #ds9 #deep space nine #elim garak #psychosis #media analysis #schizophrenia #schizospec

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twistedwonderworm · 2 years

Note

So happy to see a writer for male readers. Not to mention a fellow demi! Saw requests were open and thought I'd throw one into the hat. No worries if you don't vibe with this one.

Could you do a soft, very intimate and loving, nsfw with either Ruggie or Jamil where male reader is the dominant one? Maybe reader gets a confidence boost or maybe it's after an overblot and he just wants to show genuine love toward whoever you choose. I'm a sucker for romantic stuff.

I'm terribly sorry this took so long. I was very busy lately but I absolutely loved your request! I also chose Jamil because I absolutely love him. I hope you like this one!

You're still perfect (TWST NSFW)

Pairing: Jamil Viper x M!reader

Warnings: gentle loving NSFW

Word count: 744

🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍

The days following Jamil's overblot were rough. He seemed more withdrawn and quiet than before. It seemed like he was a bit embarrassed. Maybe because he overblotted.

Y/N was worried about his boyfriend, but he also didn't want to push him too much. Though, he soon found out that Jamil didn't really want to be alone.

Y/N was going some cleaning in Ramshackle, doing some cleaning out. He was alone, Grim being out somewhere. He was probably messing with Ace and Deuce, but as long as he didn't get into too much trouble, Y/N didn't mind. He was humming softly to himself and dusting a shelf when he heard the front door open.

"My, you're back really early," he said, not turning around. He thought it was the loud little furball. 'What happened? Did Riddle throw you out?"

"That would be quite hard for him to do since I was nowhere near his dorm today," said a very familiar soft voice.

Y/N jumped and turned around, pleasantly surprised, "Oh, I'm sorry, Jamil. I thought you were Grim." He set down the duster and smiled at his boyfriend. "How are you feeling today?"

The Scarabia vice housewarden shrugged before moving closer to Y/N, "I've been better. I mostly just feel guilty for not spending much time with you lately.."

Y/N smiled and cupped Jamil's face in his hands, "That's okay, darling. You've been through a rough time recently and I didn't want to make things worse." He gently traced circles on his lover's cheeks with his thumbs.

Jamil was the whole package, that was plain to see. Not only was he stunningly attractive but he was also smart, brave, and talented. Hr could have had anyone he wanted but he chose Y/N. He was chosen by this beautiful man with his sharp tongue and maturity. This caused confidence to well up inside YN.

"When do you have to leave?" He asked Jamil, gently kissing him again.

Jamil tried chasing his lips when he pulled away, "When I choose to. I want to spend as much time as I can with you, love."

"Good, Grim shouldn't be back for a while," Y/N removed his hands from Jamil's face to loosely wrap his arms around the vice house warden's waist. "I want to take my time and show you just how much you mean to me."

Jamil's face grew warmer, and he smiled that gorgeous smile at Y/N as he nodded, "That sounds wonderful."

Y/N smiled and led his beloved upstairs to his room. He was determined to take his time with this, wanting to treat Jamil the way he should be treated. Post overblot or not, Jamil was still absolutely perfect.

Soft, sweet kisses were followed by hands running reverently over smooth skin. Y/N murmured sweet words against Jamil's shoulder as he and his lover slowly divested each other of their clothes.

"How was I lucky enough to win your love?" Y/N purred, slowly and gently preparing Jamil. No sense in hurting his lover. He wanted to worship him. "I must be very lucky."

Jamil shivered as the air of the still drafty Ramshackle dorm hit his newly bared skin but he still arched up against the other as Y/N's roaming touches got to his chest, teasing his nipples so they'd perk up. When Jamil was properly prepared, Y/N slowly pulled his fingers away and lubed up his cock. He kissed his lover passionately as he slowly pushed in, taking his time. They weren't rushing after all.

When he was fully seated, he laid kisses all over Jamil's face as he gave him time to adjust. Once Jamil whispered at him to move, Y/N slowly started to rock his hips. He kept his pace soft and slowly, his hands still roaming Jamil's body. They normally didn't rush their intimate moments but Jamil really needed to feel loved, and Y/N was only too happy to make sure he felt that way.

Their orgasms didn't take that much longer than usual to wash over them, but this time it felt even better. They continued to lay tangled together as they recovered from their highs, sharing slow, loving kisses.

"No matter what happens, darling," Y/N said in between kisses, "You will always be absolutely perfect to me, and I will always love you."

"I love you too, you adorable dork," Jamil laughed.

#twisted wonderland #smut #twst fanfic #mxm romance #male reader #x male reader #twst smut #twst x male reader #jamil viper x reader #jamil viper #dom male reader #horni worm

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stardustizuku · 1 year

Text

Part 4: The New Team

The first moment I said “This is bad” at Miraculous Ladybug...the first moment I realized this was going downhill – was when they introduced …Sighs, Rena Rouge.

(To be fair, it started with Lila and her weird necklace but that could have just been fixed easily)

I knew the moment Rena came that this was gonna get bad. I felt it in my bones that THIS was the sign of something insidious and awful boiling in the back of the show. This character marks the beginning of everything downhill in the show - it’s a glaring reminder of how awful the writing in this show is.

Don’t get me wrong I love Alya. I love the character design of Rena and I don’t think that - in a vacuum - her existing is bad. But her appearance signified that something far worse happened behind the scenes.

They were trying to add more heroes.

As I’ve stated in Part 2, where we talk about the Love Square, there is a very delicate balance between Chat and Ladybug’s dynamic. And throughout Season 1, which is meant to be the introduction to the series, we are given no indication that it will focus on anything else. There was more than enough drama with just those two superheroes to last you a very solid arc. But that arc never got developed neither as forefront, nor backstage, as far as seasons 1-3 is concerned.

Again, because the writers are idiots, who believe that developing the story might lead the Love Square to be concluded, which means having the creativity to develop it beyond what the 1 minute trailer told them to do.

So? What do we do? How do we develop this story further, without bringing in the complexities of its own premise?

Easy, you add useless heroes and McGuffins to sell more toys. They add nothing in terms of narrative cohesion, character development, or character relationships.

Like, Season 2 was 25 episodes long. And in those 25 episodes, it introduced a grand total of 3 potential superheroes. Of what are now

11 SUPERHEROES.

By the end of Season 2, a little less than halfway through the currently aired episodes in the USA, we had…3/11 of the entire team.

A team, by the way, that slowly took the emphasis away from what we were even watching this show, to begin with: The Love Square. Ladybug and Chat.

They were the core of the story. And the blatant addition of a new team, proved to me nothing more than a desperate attempt to distance themselves from it. For what reason? Either a lack of confidence in developing their main characters, or plain incompetence to detect what your show even is about.

As I stated in Part 3, in regard of theme, there’s nothing of the sorts connecting ANY of these superheroes together.

The new heroes have different powers – with absurd power balances.

The most powerful superheroes are supposed to be Cht and Laadybug, but I would argue that time travel is a biiiiit more powerful. Like, Garbiel could very easily time travel to save Emily or steal the miraculous before they're given to Chat and Ladybug. But sure. Whatever.

In regards of theme.

Chat and Ladybug have good and bad luck symbols as their animal counterparts. Then there’s Rena, the Fox; Carapace, the turtle; Hawkmoth, the moth; Queen Bee the bee…?? I’m not following that decision at all. If someone does, please do enlighten me.

And then there’s the newest superheroes, introduced in Season 4, and still being currently introduced…

The theme is the Chinese zodiac, but that’s only (checks notes) Excuse me, Paris? Uhm, yeah, Paris. So in Paris they have the Chinese zodiac, but in the USA and Beijin they have completely different powers not tied to the miraculous. And, I get it, you want new merch. Fine, all magical girls are thinly veiled ads for kid’s toys (I will buy the sailor moon blush one day, or so help me god) But, should you at least – try to make it make sense-

New superheroes or new powers should all connect to your theme.

Sailor Moon has planets, so introducing new Sailor Scouts it’s as easy as getting new moons, or suns in the galaxy. Something I find really cute is that Sailor Chibimoon has subordinates CereCere, VesVes, PallaPalla and JunJun. These were the asteroids once thought to be new planets in the Solar System before we knew of the AsteroidBelt and realized they were little rocks.

Mermaid Melody introduced new mermaids through the seven seas. There were only a finite amount of them. But even so, the only way to introduce Seira was through the death of Sara.

And Tokyo Mew Mew’s endangered animals allowed us to have Mew Ringo and (we don’t talk about brunononono, we don’t talk about brunooooo) Mew Berry.

Even Kamichama Karin WHICH I HATE so it goes to show how badly MLB messed it up – has a theme (sort of). It fumbles it extremely badly. Insulting to a degree how bad it does it…BUT IT DOES IT.

It’s greek gods. That’s it. You may have a new power, a new transformation or a new characters but you bet your ass it’ll be a Greek god. It may have no connection to the character’s personality or relationship to each other, but hey. At least it stays consistent on its terrible use of Greek Gods as nothing more than aesthetic.

So, your characters have no narrative weight behind it to justify why they’re here. You have no actual theme to tie all 19 of your superheroes (HOLY FUCK THAT’S A LOT OF THEM) aside from…animals? I guess.

(I swear to god PreCure puts more thought into their themes than this)

But at least, you would guess, your new heroes show interesting dynamics with each other that allow you to understand better either Chat, Ladybug, or each other?

No.

The team is bad.

They ditched the “Magical Girl” formula and decided to go for a bit of a “Super Seitan” feeling. I mean, Power Rangers type of show. More gender neutral, more focused on the villain of the week, and an emphasis on a big team.

Just. A bit of a problem.

But they did this, so into the show that we ALREADY had a sense of their character as a side character, so bringing them to the spotlight was uncomfortable.

Like suddenly making Molly a sailor scout or giving Tomoyo clow cards in the middle of the second season.

That’s not their purpose in the story.

And they’re introduced so haphazardly that there’s hardly any time for them to hang out with each other.

Rena first appears in episode 37, Carapace in episode 44, and Queen Bee in episode 49.

AND NONE OF THESE CHARACTERS INTERACT WITH EACH OTHER.

Not until Mayura. Which is episode 52, which just akumatizes them or gets them out of the way one way or another. Meaning, they do absolutely nothing for the plot, bring nothing to the table, and makes you wonder why even waste air time bringing on-screen characters that do not matter.

In any other show, yes. The characters slowly leaving the protagonist alone because they get trapped, killed or maimed is a good way to up the stakes of the finale.

Here’s the thing, though. I care about them. And they care for each other. They know they’re not losing just a teammate, they’re losing a friend.

I cried like a baby when Makoto died and Usagi only recognized her rose earring – because I love Makoto to death. I cried when Rei sacrificed herself to save Usagi, because I knew how much they bickered. I was upset when Mint and Zakuro fought, because I knew how much Mint idolized Zakuro.

Their failure meant something to the each other. Aside simply, “we lost manpower”. Because these people were, before superheroes, before their later egos – they were friends.

HOWEVER. This does not happen in MLB. Since they don’t GET to keep the kwamis, they don’t get to participate in every episode. We never get episodes focused on how they interact with one another. Which means there’s no sense of a “team”. Which makes you wonder why they’re even considered a “team”.

This is such a horrible decision it genuinely makes me wonder if these people KNOW how to create ANY story !!!

I feel like I keep comparing MLB to many decent and genuinely good magical girls animes. Which feels unfair, EVEN THO IT ISNT, because these are iconic anime’s that have left a print in media

So fine, let’s get this show to a level you all can understand how bad it is

DC superhero girls. And it’s GOOD, check it out if you can. It’s something to turn on and enjoy, with little overarching plot.

But get this, the entire focus is to watch the team girls Interact. A lot of the comedy comes from watching these girls having fun and watching them come to terms with their own superpowers. Watching them get in trouble as they hide their identity, and how they bounce from one another. Who helps who, who are besties, who kinda hate each other, who brings them together and who keeps them strong.

I especially love Barbara and Harley's dynamic, as well as Kitana and Wonderwoman's friendship. The episodes that focus on either of them make me really happy. And even if there's little overarching plot, because I know their situation, I wanna see them happy and have fun.

But because they all have to hide in MLB, you don’t see something like this. Which, btw, THIS is the foundation of both Magical girl GROUPS and Seitan. And I would argue you would get more leeway abt secret identities to one another in MagicalGirls that in Seitan. Seitan’s bread and butter IS team dynamics. The fact that we don’t know how two superheroes that ladybug and chat aren’t would behave around each other is an INSULT to the genre.

And to be fair, they could still keep their identities secret. Just. Have them interact every single episodes, without the need of Ladybug or Chat doing a 10 minute break to give them their Kwamis. It would have been fun to see Queen Bee chat with Ladybug, maybe hate Chat and fight with him to get Ladybug’s attention. Maybe, have Viper and Carapace make music references and vibing in the background. Have Ryuko and Queen Bee bicker. Have Rena and Chat make jokes at Queen Bee’s expense.

You could have amazing drama out of the team trying to find each other’s identities, but having Ladybug threaten them to take away their miraculous (MAYBE she’s paranoid about it since the events of Chat Blanc let her traumatized and will take away miraculous from them). Hell, maybe she took away Chloe’s miraculous not because “she’s unfit” but because she spilled the beans. And Chloe’s resentment is not just from losing her great title, but losing the first true friends she had.

And it would make the fact that Marinette is allowed to CHOOSE her teammate…a bit more bearable. Because honestly, THAT’S a terrible concept.

Most teams DONT get to chose who their partners are, and that’s what makes it amazing.

Because it’s a bunch of people who are forced to be together, slowly learning to open up and depend on one another. Which creates amazing and profound bonds that one originally wasn’t expecting.

Take for example Usagi. She didn’t CHOOSE her team. Instead, she found it. They found her. While Ami and Makoto are kind to her, she’s always butting heads with Rei, and playfully competing with Minako. They don’t all coddle her, or think she’s amazing. They see her as a friend. A crybaby, clumsy but kind-hearted friend who will help them out.

Tokyo Mew Mew has the same. Ichigo isn’t in perfect terms with Mint and they butt heads. Zakuro is a loner that isn’t integrated fully even in later episodes. But they’re a team. They work together.

The fact that Marinette gets to pick, creates issues like…Queen Bee.

Which.

Leads me.

To Chloe.

A God, Chloe.

PREV << MASTERLIST >> NEXT

#miraculous ladybug #sailor moon #mlb #mlb salt #mlb critical #magical girl essay #magical girls

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ghoulodont · 1 month

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ok i want to make just one post about my thoughts & intentions from my latest fic. based on the tags/comments you all left it seems that overall everyone understood me. but theres one additional piece that i think i didnt represent well because its confusing, and that maybe would be hard to pick up on anyway because, again, its confusing.

i think dew is both aware and in denial in a way that might seem contradictory. he claims to know something is wrong, and that he knows it more than anyone else, but he rejects rains urging for him to actually address the problem. i suppose you could read it as him being deceptive in some way but i wanted him to be very very honest. he is genuinely struggling to wrap his head around these seemingly contradictory thoughts.

my intention was for this to parallel what i perceive to be an inherently contradictory aspect of psychosis. because what youre experiencing feels real to you, it sort of feels normal. it feels like something happening outside you. compare it to anxiety, for example -- both can be distressing experiences out of your control but anxiety is something that happens inside you (perhaps in reaction to external events, but the anxiety itself is yours), while psychosis, generally speaking, feels like it belongs to the outside world. in reality its an experience that isnt shared by others but it really feels like it is, or that it could be. maybe this is sort of obvious based on the definition of psychosis but i feel like just considering the definition doesnt quite do it justice.

and because it feels like it belongs to the outside world it can be challenging to confidently distinguish between things that are real to everyone and things that are real only to you. some external reality checking logic needs to be applied. again, maybe this is obvious. i guess what i really am trying to lead up to is how in this dichotomy between sensory experience and logic, its so hard to not believe your sensory experience, in a sort of lizard brain screaming at you way. it just makes so much more sense if your experience matches reality than to jump through a bunch of hoops reminding yourself why it doesnt. occams razor says you dont have schizophrenia.

this experience, which at its extreme would mean being unable to tell that you're unwell, is considered a core dimension of schizophrenia. people who get really medical and scientific with it will say its because of something happening in the brain (isnt everything?) but i think what i described above fully explains it. its confusing, so it makes sense to be confused.

honestly i think this adds to the conflict, that providers can be very quick to doubt your description of your own experience because they try to correct for this "blindness". its dehumanizing to be viewed this way. i really think it makes everything worse by playing into the "split" between ones thoughts and reality. i find myself not wanting to share things if i know im going to be argued with, and then by pulling away im losing one more point of contact with the outside world.

but besides all that i do think for dew theres an aspect of just plain denial & avoidance as well. a good 20% of the original blur turns to haze fic was about how miserable it is to take antipsychotics but it was mostly focused on the side effects. in my experience even once you find one where the side effects are tolerable its still unpleasant. in the same way antidepressants might cause you to feel somewhat emotionally blunted antipsychotics are like that x1000. they really do feel like a drug you give someone to make them shut up. maybe thats just me.

anyway, this is something i want to focus on in chapter 4 of you will die again...... which i am totally working on. i would be curious to know if this aligns with how you read the fic or not but no pressure of course

#idk if im explaining it well. its really really hard to describe #i feel like im forgetting something i just ended up kind of talking in a direction #anyway the experience that made me understand this was feeling like people are looking at me in public #obviously its normal for people to glance at other people so thats fine #but if im having this particular symptom i will notice multiple people in multiple situations stare at me for an unusual duration #the kind of way that makes you think did i forget to put clothes on or something #i always check to make sure i look the same as normal #maybe that doesnt explain it either but i never used to experience anything like that

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toluene-sister · 26 days

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This line (and the entire scene) from Chapter 12: “No bite left in this dog. You smile at me and I’m all yours, and I'm scared because it's just... all I've ever really wanted. I never wanted to want this, but I do, Bruce. Bad things tend to happen when a guy like me gets what he wants."

I am just— absolutely obsessed with how you write Joker （〃▽〃）It’s really interesting how much vulnerability he shows with Bruce, especially here. Like it’s so obvious how head over heels they both are <33 I’d love to know your thoughts/intentions while writing this scene :D

Aww, one of my favorite scenes~

This one is all about them wearing down each other's defenses over the years without noticing until they both found themselves completely transformed by the other. While Bruce did give up a lot, sacrificing his identity and the morality based around it, his sense of right and wrong, his devotion to Rachel and the memory of her in order to satisfy his overpowering need to have some sort of relationship with him, Joker also did end up giving up his identity in a way. They both conditioned each other; Joker figured out the less of a menace he was, the closer Bruce would allow him to get, and Bruce figured out the closer he would allow him, the less of a menace Joker was. And so it went on until they were both so exhausted doing the Batman x Joker bit, all the frustration just spilled out the first chance they got (chapter 4 & 5) and only then did they begin to suspect how utterly dependent they were on each other. By chapter 9 it was pretty much obvious there was no going back to what they previously had, and it freaked Joker the fuck out, because up to that point, he was able to fool himself into thinking that what they had was never going to become anything more than a game, a painful and not entirely satisfying one, but still a game. But then Bruce flipped the script on him on all fronts and demonstrated time and time again that he was just as much in love with him as he was with Bruce, to the point where he was willing to uproot his life and fucking move in with him.

So up until then, Joker was the dog chasing cars and now that he got the car he has to figure out what to do with it. But even with all these new developments to their dynamic, they're still very much themselves, and that's what scares Joker the most. He knows what he is, and he knows what Bruce is, and he's terrified that with love added to the equation, whatever end awaits them will be so much worse than whatever he could have predicted for them before.

And then Bruce reads all of this between his lines because he feels exactly the same way. And he comforts him by listing everything that could possibly go wrong, and it is comforting for Joker becase now he sees they're not fooling themselves, it's not going to be pretty, but then again there's no other way for them. They don't want to hurt each other anymore, there's no more bite in either of them and that's what makes them so utterly vulnerable now, because hurt is pretty much all they've known up to this point and being soft and defenseless is just plain scawwy 🥲🥹💀

#lismbwyd #director's cut #batjokes #batman x joker

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aspd-culture · 9 months

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So I noticed that the criteria states that the symptoms have to show themselves before 15. However, I feel like I've developed my empathy has lowered in the last 5 years or so. Stealing and some purposeful manipulation is all I can really think of as things I did as a child, other than that I was a pretty sensitive kid. But after every traumatic event I feel like a part of me shut down my feelings, and I remember losing some of that automatic emotional tug reaction to things. However, it's only recently that I went through a prolonged period of isolated emotional agony for basically years on end. Ever since then I've been feel pretty irritated at people's emotional displays and don't feel any instinctual pity. I've been having trouble not getting straight up angry. I did still cry when my cat died, and I still feel some emotions, especially with fiction. I wouldn't torture an animal for no reason, but I often think about harming others physically. I'm agonizingly bored all the time, and I feel like my "normal" reactions to things, like acting really sorry, have just become habit more than anything else. Idk what I'm asking for here tbh. Thanks anyway.

Upon re-checking the DSM criteria for this ask, I believe what it is saying is that some marked symptoms of ASPD (aka non-age appropriate antisocial traits not otherwise attributable to normal development and/or other known issues), not that you have to have every symptom that would lead to diagnosis before age 15. Technically, it actually says there must be “evidence of conduct disorder with onset before age 15 years” which has much different criteria than ASPD does. Stealing and manipulation, if done frequently enough, could very likely qualify for that criteria, depending on the opinion of the professional doing the evaluation. I could be wrong, but that is how I am reading it, and I think it would make more sense that way.

Even if you were in the process of developing ASPD as a child, the reason that it can’t be diagnosed before 18 is that it, for the most part, is said to be able to be avoided before that age, even in a child with antisocial traits, if they are given adequate support. In children who go on to develop ASPD, these antisocial traits worsen over time rather than get better, and solidify into a true personality disorder as the brain moves past the developmental stage where it could be avoided. Therefore, it stands to reason imo that the symptoms would likely continue getting worse and potentially have entirely new symptoms begin to show up later in life. After all, one of the symptoms of ASPD is substance abuse, and while many teens engage with substances, it is far more common to see that symptom pop up well past the 15 year old limit.

In the presence of new/extended trauma post-age 15, I would honestly be more surprised to find a pwASPD whose symptoms *didn’t* worsen in response to that. The more our maladaptive worldview is confirmed - such as through experiencing further trauma - the more our brains double-down because it has been proven right. When that happens, it can justify reacting more harshly and putting up more solid defenses against the danger that evidently may show up at any moment, as far as our brains are concerned. At its core, ASPD is a response to trauma (at least the *vast* majority of the time), so the more trauma you add, the greater that response may be.

Plain text below the cut:

#aspd-culture-is #aspd culture is #aspd culture #actually aspd #aspd #aspd awareness #actually antisocial #antisocial personality disorder #aspd traits #anons welcome

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anryuuepic · 4 months

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Test Subject: Bacchus Bio

Name: Test Subject Bacchus

Species: Daryan

Race: Blackscale

Role: A former politician and current Test Subject of Winterkill Works, with a jaded, despair-filled personality and a painful past. She fluctuates between a voice of reason and just one more victim broken down at the hands of Winterkill’s ambitions, yet her apathy far overshadows both of those things.

Affiliation: Winterkill Works

Gender: Female

Age: 43

Height: 5’11

Appearance: Bacchus is a tall woman with a sharp, somewhat lanky build. She has light, ashy blonde, waist-length hair that she usually keeps up in a high ponytail. Her eyes are dark gray and dull, with heavy shadowing beneath them from stress. Her appearance tends to be disheveled, though her expression is near-perpetually one of exhausted neutrality.

Personality: Bacchus is a hopeless, unhappy person who’s thoroughly tired of the world and living in it. She’s low-energy, quiet, and emotionally reserved, usually coming across as either exhausted, irritated, or just plain miserable. Underneath it all, she has a short temper and strong passions, but because she sees even her own hope as uselessly naive, she deliberately suppresses it. She naturally has a strong sense of duty and morality, valuing the “right thing” over happiness or temporary ease. Justice, fairness, and rightful consequences matter to her, and sacrificing those things has caused her a great amount of pain. She’s duty-oriented, even to her own detriment.

Positive Traits: For better or for worse, Bacchus has remarkable resilience. No matter what horrible things have happened to her, somehow, she’s managed to keep going. She’s generally patient and non-confrontational, though her tolerance for out-of-line behavior is also low. Lying is highly distasteful to her (even at times when the truth hurts), and when she makes a promise, she can be trusted to keep it. Though she doesn’t often show it, she’s quick-witted, organized, and adaptable, even in tense situations.

Negative Traits: At the current point in her life, Bacchus’s internalized despair dominates her personality and outlook. When she encounters people who feel otherwise, she passes off their idealism and hopes as simple naivety. She’s apathetic and can be cold-hearted; even with things she cares about, her habit is to push those softer sentiments aside. Her self-sacrificing streak is a frequent source of pain, and she struggles to recognize when something isn’t her fault or would be impossible for her to change.

History: Bacchus spent the early part of her life in an unremarkable town, where she was involved in the local legal system. An unfortunate end to a difficult case turned public opinion against her, though, and she eventually left that town behind. With one of her sons dead and the other resenting her for it, she’d lost any purpose her former life held. When Winterkill Works offered her a role as an experimental subject, she had nothing better to do than accept; at the very least, it was a way to occupy her time.

Relationships: Bacchus generally goes out of her way to keep an emotional distance from the people around her. Even when she might get along with someone, she’ll avoid any chances of connecting or opening up. Despite this, she’s on surprisingly good terms with staff and her fellow test subjects alike, particularly Venus. However, after bearing personal witness to many of the experiments, she greatly resents those with active roles in the group.

Interests: Bacchus likes herbal teas (the more bitter-tasting, the better), philosophical debates about morality, and legal studies. She dislikes cold weather (her scars ache), recklessness, and people who take advantage of others. She hasn’t pursued any interests since joining Winterkill Works.

WW Role: As one of the specially selected Test Subjects, Bacchus was given a particular experimental power. In her case, that power is meant to mimic a Combustion-Element Mutation; ash rises from her skin when her emotions spike, leaving lumpy, scarred burns behind. The physical pain bothers her less than the knowledge that someone knowingly chose to inflict it.

Miscellaneous: Bacchus tends to be softer and more patient with young men; though she’d never say it outright, they often remind her of her sons. She’d sort of hoped Winterkill’s experiments would kill her; with nothing left to live for, it would have been easier to end up dead. She has an excellent memory, especially when it comes to laws, regulations, and procedures. She doesn’t particularly dislike the appearance of her scars, but the chronic pain that comes with them hasn’t done her mental state any favors. When she’s in a bad place emotionally, her physical self-care is the first thing to fail.

Connotative Description: A depressed, apathetic person with a tragic past weighing her down. Dutiful and steadfastly moral even when it hurts her, yet convinced that there’s little true “good” to reach for in the world.

#Winterkill Works #Bacchus #Bio

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mercurygray · 3 months

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From one fic writer to another: How do you keep writing? I'm particularly writing romantic fics between MOTA's characters and my own OCs, but I can't continue anymore because what I write is too optimistic for real life, and the stories contain deep emotions that will never come true. Yet, there's still a passion inside me to write, but the voice saying, "What's the point of writing all this if they are not real, they can not be real?" keeps getting louder.

Anon, I'm sorry this got stuck in my box over the weekend - I wanted to make sure you got a real answer and life got in the way.

Your ask reminds me of a quote by JRR Tolkien that made its way onto my dash this weekend - this quote is from his essay "On Fairy Stories" and I think applies equally to the heart of your question as it does to what's currently happening on Masters of the Air.

Here's the Professor (emphasis my own):

I have claimed that Escape is one of the main functions of fairy-stories, and since I do not disapprove of them, it is plain that I do not accept the tone of scorn or pity with which “Escape” is now so often used: a tone for which the uses of the word outside literary criticism give no warrant at all. In what the misusers are fond of calling Real Life, Escape is evidently as a rule very practical, and may even be heroic. In real life it is difficult to blame it, unless it fails; in criticism it would seem to be the worse the better it succeeds. Evidently we are faced by a misuse of words, and also by a confusion of thought. Why should a man be scorned if, finding himself in prison, he tries to get out and go home? Or if, when he cannot do so, he thinks and talks about other topics than jailers and prison-walls? The world outside has not become less real because the prisoner cannot see it. In using escape in this way the critics have chosen the wrong word, and, what is more, they are confusing, not always by sincere error, the Escape of the Prisoner with the Flight of the Deserter.

Real Life is hard. It's endless, and it's numbing, and it makes us often feel powerless. There are lots of ways we can take action on this, and engaging in something creative is one of them, because creating gives us power. I know that sometimes the only reason I write is for the simple pure joy of saying "I put these words on this page in this order and they make sense to me" and in that moment I can feel like I'm in control of something, even if it's just those words or my own scattered brain. Maybe that doesn't do anything in the grand scheme of things, but it helps me get to tomorrow.

I hope it helps you get to tomorrow, too.

#asked and answered #Kind Anonymous Friend #writing advice

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akiizayoi4869 · 8 months

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How’s it going!

I have a question regarding Azula and the Avatar comics. And as I consider you to be something of an authority on the matter so I wanted to ask you. I hope that is okay?

As far as I understand, in the comics the primary motivation of Azula and the Fire warriors was to “make Zuko a stronger and more autocratic sovereign”. Underling her more nationalist pragmatism. This motivation has always confused to me (at least in part, as I do find her more “nationalistic pragmatism” to be in character).

Wouldn’t she desire to gain vengeance on Zuko? At then end of ATLA, both Zuko and Katara took advantage of her metal breakdown and defeated her. While I do think Azula recognizes that taking advantage of her weakened state is just good tactics. Being defeated by comparatively weaker opponent (Zuko) and an equal (Katara) when her mind had betrayed her(just like everything else in her life) would have left a bad taste in her mouth.

Then we must take into account Azula’s appalling treatment after the war. During the comics it is revealed that Azula was kept in a psychologically/mentally abusive “mental asylum” . As well a physically abusive (being kept in a straight jacket for hours at a time is a form of torture). Zuko was the one who sent her to this asylum. While I believe Zuko sent her to this asylum in ignorance and not outright maliciousness, does Azula know that?

Then when Zuko deigned to acknowledge her existence and take Azula out of the asylum, he takes her to find her (at best) neglectful mother. During the journey he and his friends accost Azula at multiple times. Physically threatening her during hallucinations or at other moments. And of course Zuko and the Gaang grew angry when she defended herself.

While the comics destroyed Zuko’s and the Gaangs characterization (in part at least) they are (unfortunately) canon. While this is not to say that Azula is completely innocent in either the show or comics. She did fight for the objectively immoral side of the war. But as a child soldier ( digression; whose worse crime is killing the avatar on the field of battle, and when said avatar was planning to invade her home with an Earth kingdom army).

So why does Azula seek to make Zuko a better sovereign (in her estimation) rather than seek vengeance on Zuko and to a lesser extent on team Avatar?

Hello! Wow, you consider me to be an authority figure about this stuff? I'm flattered.

While I wouldn't say that the two of them took advantage of her mental breakdown since that implies that they both knew exactly what was wrong with Azula (which they obviously wouldn't know), I see what you're saying. She WOULD be mad at both of them for defeating her, especially Katara. Someone who was from a "lesser group of people", people who she has been taught all her life are inferior to her and everyone else in the Fire Nation. To Azula, Katara shouldn't have been able to defeat her at all. So yeah, she would be mad about that.

Getting to the comics, though....there really isn't a way to make sense of Yang's characteristic of them during The Search and Smoke and Shadow, as well as the plots, imo. Zuko not once asking Azula who or what she was seeing was just plain stupid, same for the others. Even before they left, he should have asked the doctors what her condition was and if it would be wise to take her out of the asylum. But he didn't. Why? Because it wasn't convenient for the plot that Yang had set up. And yes, Azula did request that Zuko bring her along, but still. Anyone with a brain should have been able to see that she wasn't all there, and that bringing her along to find Ursa was a bad idea, considering that Ursa was the one she kept hallucinating about. So it was an obvious trigger that Azula should'nt have been around. Now as to why she doesn't try and seek revenge against Zuko and the others after everything that happened? It's very simple. Yang just didn't think about it. I do agree that it would have made sense, though.

#asks #atla #azula #zuko #the gaang #atla comics #745voiceofthepeople #mutuals #aki answers things

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void-thegod · 4 months

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When you have a invisible disability and you fail:

1. You're stupid

2. You're weak

3. You're gullible

4. You're a bad person

But it's never because you're disabled. And if you bring up the fact that you're disabled?

That's not an excuse.

Hm.

I don't know.

I think if I've had brain damage or am an amputee of some sort (I've had .. quite a few concussions actually) that I'm not going to function optimally

Would you question someone's ability to swim if they didn't have legs or were missing an arm?

Yeah. You'd be concerned about their ability.

But no. That doesn't mean they're an invalid. That doesn't mean they're incapable of doing wrong or anything else.

They will struggle more and they will experience the affects of that in various ways.

If we can accept abusers, people being plain ignorant, and bigots as people... why is it so hard to accept someone who is born differently?

This differently?

If you are brown, you know the sort of struggles and stress you have are on another level than a white person.

If you're a darker skin brown person it is more likely you will be treated worse than someone light skinned.

I was in a relationship with a black/indigenous woman. She was emotionally and physically abusive.

But I knew the type of shit she'd gone through

I saw how people treated us differently.

As the recipient of her abuse... I justified staying with her in a number of ways.

I'm not an angel. I'm capable of getting angry. Of yelling. I've done things I regret.

But I haven't physically harmed another person, yet.

The only times I've ever come close were in self defense

This is the sort of despicable person I am.

Only when pushed into a corner do I do desperate things. Desperate times, after all.

But that comes with its own pitfalls.

Being trans. Being male. Being brown (mixed/light). Being disabled.

People make all sorts of assumptions about you based on your behavior.

Rightly so. But if intent matters and outcome matters... then why have I been judged so harshly?

If I am being completely honest...

I think that is just what happens to weird people. People who have lost or never had the ability to connect with others because of their constitution.

Not even worse than other people.

I've met good people. Mediocre people. And real shit heads. And they all are capable of great kindness and great maliciousness - depending upon the circumstances.

But generally, the worst people are bigoted, ignorant, and hateful. They love drama. They like to see people in pain, to manipulate, and to have power. They are so desperate to be successful or at least better than others that they don't think twice.

If they think twice it is because their fear or reason actually over rules them. Or because they were made to learn. And even then? They become worse people.

Why? Why am I mentioning all this?

Because all people are made from this world, one way or another. Either a part of it or in revolt against it.

It creates illness of all sorts - of the body, mind, and spirit/heart. And that affects everything else.

How is anyone to properly survive this without being corrupted? Without being harmed or without harming?

You cannot.

But. I think we can ... be more discerning.

There is no reason in 2024 that we should still be struggling with the things we are.

People should know the difference between someone like Trump and someone like Biden

Between someone who is disabled and hurt and struggling

And someone who is disabled and hurt and willingly/maliciously hurting others

They shouldn't be seen as equal by any stretch of the imagination.

Likewise the way that we live our lives...

Between the rich and the poor. The why and how of it... there should be no confusion. About anything. About what should be done.

Same with our government.

The home of the brave? The land of the free?

The most brave and free of us are the most oppressed. And I mean "free" in the sense of not being so bound by societal norms.

Of course. Many of us don't have a choice. One way or another. Or the choices are few and shitty.

So.

What now?

Keep doing wrong? Keep seeing wrong?

...

I can't keep being around people like that.

Guess I'll die trying to escape this Hell.

#rambles #vent #trans #queer #voidpunk #autistic #disabled

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