#only for hoo to be like FUCK EM!!
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i've put some thought into it because i LOVE frank and his son of neptune arc especially but like...did his mom need to be dead for it? i'm so back and forth on this like sacrifice and duty are obviously big parts of his arc but i feel like he could have had the same angst if his mom was just absent. idk. also his mom died SIX WEEKS before son of neptune which no one remembers because he doesn't behave like someone who's mom died six weeks ago (or like someone who only learned about being a demigod six weeks ago).
#also original series pointedly did NOT fridge percy's mom#only for hoo to be like FUCK EM!!#i was watching friday night lights which has a plot where a kid has a military parent and is left with his grandma#and is understandably resentful about being left#idk i think you could get a similar frank arc#also like he should have been at camp jupiter for way longer. 'i can't do anything right! i haven't been claimed!' he was there for a month#should have been a year at least
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hello!
i see ur requests are open so i have one (potentially) if ur willing to write it!!
yk how we get some glimpses into a dark percy jackson in the HoO series when he’s protecting annabeth… what if we got some of that for jason grace? potentially like the reader, she’s threatened by a minor god or monster or anything, so jason kinda goes unhinged? maybe like, he takes the air out of the opposing party’s lungs or anything else kinda unhinged?
i hope any of this makes sense lol thank uuuuu
🫶🫶🫶
dangerous storms / jason grace x female! reader.
a / n : I WAS THINKING THE EXACT SAME THING BECAUSE WHY THIS MAN HASN'T BEND SOMEONES OXYGEN ALREADY???
warnings : jason grace's angry self, airbending type of shit, cursing, DANGEROUS JASON I REPEAT DANGEROUS JASON!!
jason grace was a calm man.
he was rational, he would think before he act and he never made a move with his feelings. call it him being roman, or his father being literally the king of the gods, or maybe him growing up with a wolf raising him. jason grace was always the type to show his powers through strategic thinking.
well, everyone has boundries right?
he had a thin line in between destroying one thing or everything when it camed to you. if you're fine, then no one has to fear for anything. if you're okay, safe and healthy, no one has to panic.
but if it's the other way, than everyone should pray. even the non-believers. because jason grace can be scary and intimidating when he wants to. and he's so damn good at it.
things weren't supposed to go this way. you weren't supposed to get kidnapped by some giant. the plan wasn't this way, then why, why we're you in danger?
jason stopped being rational. his brain only said 'why, why, why' for like, an hour now. jason wasn't thinking straight. jason wasn't thinking.
"jason, we're gonna save her," piper tried to charmspeak him, but it didn't worked. the girl who put gaia back in sleep, couldn't calm down the son of jupiter.
percy jackson, who was feared by most monsters, demigods and even gods, was afraid how jason acted at the moment. but he didn't judged, he knew he would act the exact same way if something happened to annabeth. which, he did.
he was the only one who would go down with him if he asked. boundries we're boundries, and percy knew that very well.
"jason, we can make a plan." piper tried again. she was trying from the moment they got you. but it wasn't working and she started to get anxious.
"yeah, man. she's strong, she could be on her way back here even-" leo tried his best too. he couldn't recognise his best friend right now. he should've been like percy, who wasn't judging jason's madness and ready to go down with him. but he couldn't—it was like leo meeting jason for the first time, again.
"i already have a fucking plan." jason snapped, but he was quiet. which, it didn't help with the gang's fear. "and you guys are not involved."
"you sure?" percy asked, putting a hand on his shoulder. "my hands been itchy these days, and riptide is no better."
jason wanted to smile, but his situation didn't allowed. instead, he softened his gaze, just a bit. "thanks, but i'll handle it myself. it's my war now."
percy nodded, giving a look at the team. 'if someone wants to stop him, they have to go through me.'
"go get em', tiger." he joked. and jason flied away, not answering.
⚡️
you would fight for your life if you weren't hanging up by the chains on your wrists. your feet we're dangling in the air, and arms hurting from carrying all your weight. the sick giants put some fancy greek dress on you, making your hair prettier while you were unconscious.
the giant fucking fell in love with you, and it certainly did not liked jason.
jason. we're was he? what happened to him?
well, you we're about to find out.
"oh dear," the ugly beast purred, his big hands finding your tiny body. you disgusted, squirming under his touch to get away. but it was no use.
"you'll be all mine once i make the potion." he rambled, drool on his chin that showed you how hungry he was for you.
"in your fucking dreams." you spat, eyes shooting daggers. you we're jason's girl, and your own person, most importantly. "i'm already taken."
the giant growled, mixing the sound with his sick laugh. "that jupiter boy? he got nothing compared to me sweetheart!" he yelled and his voice echoed through the big cave. where we're you, even? "he has to kill me to get you!"
"be careful what you wish for." the sound made you melt instantly. how was he able to find you? well, you didn't cared to be honest. he was here.
jason's eyes we're nothing like before. it was like his own eyes had their storms and thunders. one part of you we're amazed, while the other got scared. you knew he wouldn't even touch you if it ever hurt you, but you we're scared for him. not from him. for him doing something he'll regret for the rest of his life in order to protect you.
but, jason seemed to not give a damn.
"you tiny little demigod! you have no chance against me, you don't even have a god next to you to kill me!" he yelled, leaving you dangling in the air again. you wanted to call jason's name, but your voice muffled through the lightning.
"i don't fucking need a god," jason hissed, taking position. "i'll send you tartarus myself."
it all happened quickly. jason was so fast, unlike the big giant trying to capture and kill him. he was like a lightning himself, moving in light speed. there was a blonde thing moving, and you couldn't understand if it was his hair or sword. also there was little lightning sparkles that helped you figure him better.
then, the next thing you knew, jason was on top of the beast's face. he quickly called a lightning before stabbing his sword into the giants eye. it growled, but didn't falled.
"this is what you take for hurting my girl. my loved ones." jason said, his free hand going up in the air. you thought he was gonna make the giant eat some lightning, but it didn't go that way.
"remember my name in tartarus," he flied up again, taking a large air with him. the beast suddenly started to choke, holding it's neck desperately. "and make sure your friends does too."
it was the last thing giant heard before falling down, his oxygen flying in the air and dissapearing. jason immediatly flied towards you, cutting your chainst and holding you by the waist before you fall.
"jason," you breathed out, crying. you couldn't believe what you just have witnesses, but you figured it was the best to not mention. you we're happy that you we're safe now, in his arms.
"baby," he panted, hugging you so tight. you guys slowly landed on the ground, jason still clinging on you. "thank gods you're alive."
"i got scared," you admitted. normally, you would rather die than admit someone you're scare. but it was your jason, who could you tell if you're not gonna tell him? "he was gonna- jason, he was gonna make me one of them."
"shh baby it's okay," he cupped your face, his own tears matching you. but he had a smile, a smile that appeared once you we're in his arms. "i'm here. no one's touching you ever again okay? i'm here." he gently wiped your tears away, kissing you after.
you relaxed the moment your lips met, but it wasn't very long until you both heard footsteps again. jason quickly picked you up in bridal style, flying away from the little crack of the cave.
later that day, you both layed together in his quarters at argo ii. everyone decided that they shouldn't ask questions, like they didn't asked percy and annabeth after they got back from the tartarus.
even coach hedge let you snuggle eachother, because he saw how hurt jason was. he needed you for his own sake, to stay sane.
jason was the child of storm after all, he knew how to be scary when he wanted to. he kept it all inside when you we're near and safe. but if something slightly happened to you, he knew how to show them real power.
#DARK JASON MY LOVE#stop making him like he's some weak airbender rick#HES THE CHILD OF ZEUS FOR GODS SAKE#KING OF THE GODS HELLO#percy jackson#jason grace x y/n#jason grace x you#jason grace headcanon#jason grace imagine#jason grace pjo#jason grace#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson and the heroes of olympus#percy jackson series#pjo hoo toa#percy jackson imagine
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🌾a Roll in the Hay🌾
pairing : perv!em x innocent!countrygirl!reader
warnings : graphic sex, p-in-v, breeding kink (sorta?)
a/n : hoo boy ok so I’ve been thinking about country girl reader and Eddie for a while, went a little crazy on this one. It’s kinda long, but I hope you enjoy! I have a lot of WIPs and ideas for different types of Eddie’s but it really helps when you guys comment/like/reblog so I know what you want to read more of.🧡
MASTERLIST HERE
18+ !!!
You hear the crunch of his boots on the gravel outside the barn, your hands finishing up a braid in your horse’s mane. You feel the excited butterflies flutter awake in your tummy, a smile breaking across your face.
“There’s my pretty little baby.” Eddie coos as he wraps his arms around your waist, breathing in your sweet scent deeply. You’re so fuckin’ cute and innocent. In your sweet little blue and white gingham dress, a little bow tied between your boobs. And you never wear a bra. Fuck does Eddie love that. He swept his eyes down your frame, your soft thighs leading to the smooth skin of your calves, frilly little socks peeking out of the top of your boots.
He holds out a tiny bouquet of wildflowers he picked on his walk from his van to here. Tiny white and yellow star-lily’s, a baby pink prairie rose, a little bundle of baby’s breath. He’s always doing little sweet things to make you smile.
You throw your arms around his neck, pulling him down into a tight hug. “Teddy Bear!” You squeak, nicknaming him that after he won you a little blue bear at the carnival. He squeezes the jiggly skin of your asscheeks in his big, calloused hands and lifts you to wrap your legs around his waist, kissing you like he hasn’t seen you in a week. It’s only been about 18 hours. He spins while he’s holding you, making you giggle and get dizzy. “Put me down, Teddy!” You say as more giggles bubble out of your throat.
This has been going on for a few weeks, after you met Eddie and his friends at the Hawkins carnival, you two couldn’t be separated. He kissed you at the top of the ferris wheel, telling you you’re the most beautiful girl he’s ever met. And he meant it.
“Why have I never seen you around before?” He’d asked, lips leaving wet kisses along your jaw. You giggle into his hair, the feeling of his big hands holding your hips, one of his hands sliding your legs over his thigh.
“I live an hour outside of this town. On a farm.” You reply breathlessly. He pulled back, his big brown eyes looking like a sad puppy’s. “An hour?” He sounded disappointed. He twirls your hair around a finger, his other hand playing with the hem of your tiny Levi’s shorts.
You nod at him, waiting for him to tell you that’s too far away for him to bother. He shrugs, “Guess I’m about to put a lot of miles on my van.” He says, pulling you into his chest, leather jacket arm closing around your shoulder, your head pressed against his shirt, his heart beating fast and the rumble of his voice in your ear. “I’m going to come see you so much, you’ll get sick of me.”
So Eddie drops you down, still holding you close, his tight jeans and black sweater making him look extra cozy.
“Just missed you so much, babygirl. I hate when we’re apart.” He cupped your cheek and you smiled softly, leaning into his palm like a kitten being pet. “I missed you too Daddy.” That’s your favorite nickname for Eddie. His too. It sends a jolt right to his cock every time.
“So what do we want to do today?” Eddie asks, lacing his fingers with yours, swinging your hands gently. You two have gone to dinners, movies, concerts, taken long car rides. Anything to spend time together. But today, you have other plans.
“Mmm… I have an idea…” you sway nervously on your heels. “But I wanna show you something first.”
Eddie’s eyebrows raise curiously, nodding softly for you to continue. You take a deep breath, “okay. well I went to the starcourt mall last week and bought something for you.” “For me? Baby, you know you don’t have to buy me things.” He starts to chastise you.
“I think you’ll like this gift, Teddy Bear.” You push him back gently, telling him to sit on a hay bale. You lift the skirt of your dress up to your waist, revealing the lingerie you bought.
Eddie releases a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. His eyes go wide as he looks toward the opening of the barn, making sure no one can see you two. You giggle, “no one’s home, daddy, don’t worry. s’just me and you.”
Eddie’s brain short circuits as he drinks you in. His soft innocent little bunny, your sun-kissed skin, covered in peach fuzz and goosebumps. A sheer pink lace thong covers your smooth core, little flowers, leaves and strawberries embroidered in the fabric. A garter cinches at your waist, thin ribbons circling around your thighs. Silky pink bows hanging off your hips.
“Wow baby, fuck.” “You like it?” You ask, peeking down. “Like it? I’m losing my mind over it.” He says, hands coming out to pull you towards him. You rest your hands on his shoulders as he traces his fingertips over the ribbons, so dainty and small in his hands.
“I’ve never seen anything so beautiful. Or anyone.” He says, looking up at you. The sun setting outside the barn is sending golden amber beams in through the door and Eddie’s caramel colored eyes are sparkling as he looks at you.
“What are you thinking about, daddy?” You ask, sweet as peach pie. “Shit,” he takes a deep breath, pulling your tummy close to his face, his lips kissing any bit of skin they can reach. “I don’t know if I should say what I’m thinking about.” He laughs.
“Are you thinking about fucking me?” You ask nonchalantly. He looks up at you, hands gripping your waist. “You can’t just say stuff like that, babygirl. You trying to kill me?” You giggle at the look on his face. “No, Eddie, I’m serious.” You say, shaking his shoulders softly and wiggling your hips to emphasize your point. Eddie watches as your hips and thighs recoil at the movement, he doesn’t know how much longer he can hold himself back and be a gentleman.
“But I thought you wanted to wait until we’re married?” He asks, sliding back on the hay bale to pull you into his lap. You look off to the side, clearly conflicted with what you were raised to believe and what you really want.
Eddie is a perv but he’s also so in love with you, it makes his stomach ache. He would never want to push you to do anything you didn’t want to do but to be honest, this whole ‘waiting until marriage’ thing has been kind of a bitch. He’s gotten used to rubbing your clothed pussy against his boner for a release, feeling guilty about it every time. But he needs to get off. And you make him so horny.
You whispering “Well maybe we can do… other things.” is all the ammo Eddie needs. He pulls your dress off over your shoulders, watching as your round perky boobs bounce back once the fabric is gone. He groans as he takes his bottom lip between his teeth, eyelids hooded as he palms and squeezes your boobs. He lets each fingertip graze over your nipples as you let your head fall back, tingles all over your body. He pinches your hard nipples a little too roughly, a loud moan escaping your throat.
He smiles slowly, “Oh, don’t tell me you liked that. Don’t tell me that because I won’t be able to control myself.” You nod, “Felt good, daddy.” You whimper. His eyes roll back in his head as he takes your nipple in his mouth, his tongue sucking and laving over it while he tweaks your other one. He switches back and forth between them until they’re nice and wet, his lips glimmering with saliva. You rake your nails through his hair, scratching gently at the nape of his neck.
“I feel tingly down there again, Eddie. Remember how I told you last time?” Oh he remembers. Almost had to pull his dick out and stroke it in front of you when you told him. You had been making out, your little hips wiggling, your pussy getting drenched. Eddie loves the fact that he can get you so turned on. He loves that he’s the one who gets to introduce you to all this stuff. He wanted to touch you that day but held himself back. But he’s done holding back.
He pulls a flannel blanket off the top of the hay and lays it out onto the dirty barn floor. He instructs you to lay down, while he unclasps your garter belt and slips your panties down your legs. He sniffs them taking a slow, deep breath, making you giggle and blush before he slips them in his back pocket.
You feel totally bare in front of him, legs spread wide open for him to settle in between. He crouches down, eyes hooded and mouth hanging open as he takes in the beautiful flower between your legs. Pussy lips all pink and puffy, little nub of your clit sticking out under it’s hood just begging for attention. Your tiny fluttering hole is leaking clear, milky fluid that has his mouth watering, he licks his lips to stop from drooling.
He lets his fingers dance through your folds, gathering all your slick. You tremble at his fingers, thighs starting to come together. “Oh none of that baby,” he says pushing your thighs down with his palms. “so sensitive aren’t you?” he asks before landing a little spank to your clit. You moan loudly, hands cupping your breasts and squeezing hard.
Eddie’s in awe of you, so perfect and pure laying open for him. He gets down on his stomach and hooks his forearms under your thighs, guiding your ankles over his shoulders. “Gonna help you get nice and open for me, ok baby? Gonna get you nice and ready.” You bite your lip and nod, eyes closing as his lips trail little wet kisses up your inner thigh.
He spreads open your lips and spits directly on your cunt, watching it drip down and mix with your juices. His mouth attaches to your clit while he carefully, slowly slips his middle finger into your tight hole. His thick finger curls upwards, finding that special spot deep inside you.
You rake your fingers through his hair, pulling his face closer to you and moaning his name. He smiles against your pussy, peeking his head up to admire your fucked out face and tell you how sweet you taste.
He goes back to licking and sucking at your clit sloppily, his wrist working faster to fuck his finger in and out of you. He pulls his finger out to dip the tip of his tongue inside you, so warm and tight around his pink muscle. “Daddy, feels so good, need your finger again.” He dips his first and middle fingers in this time, seeing how much you can take.
“Fuck baby, your pussy’s practically pulling in my fingers.” He groans. He flips his hand so his palm is up and he starts pistoning his fingers in and out of you. Your legs start to shake and he holds them down, fingers squeezing at the flesh of your thighs.
You cry out his name, a tense spasm feeling starting deep within. His thumb starts to strum fast circles on your clit, “c’mon baby. show me you’re a good girl. know you can do it.” He says, out of breath. You squeeze your eyes shut, all sound fading away as your first orgasm comes crashing over you, each wave of pleasure more intense than the last. You cry out, repeating Eddie’s name as you gush onto his hand.
“Fuuuuck babygirl, that’s it. Did so good for me, so fucking perfect.” He says as you come down from your high, catching your breath. “Oh my god, daddy.” you say, exhausted smile on your face.
Eddie palms at his hard length through his jeans, if he doesn’t stop neglecting it soon, he’s going to lose his mind. He leans over you, kissing you deeply, tongue sliding over yours. You run your fingers up his chest under his shirt, helping him pull it off. He pushes his hips into yours, the rough fabric of his jeans scratching at your soft skin. “I need to know how it feels to be inside you baby, just for a minute. I promise I won’t put more than just the tip in. Please.” He begs you, his hands already unzipping his jeans, unbuckling his belt. “Just for a minute?” You clarify. “Cause you know I’m not on the pill, Teddy Bear.”
He growls, “Just a quick minute baby,” he kisses the tip of your nose, “I promise, I just need to feel you wrapped around me.” You nod at him, sweet little smile on your lips. He shimmies down his pants and boxers, just to his thighs.
He shudders as he reaches down to grab his cock, giving it a few tugs as he kisses your neck and whispers a thank you in your ear. Your eyes wander down to look at it. “It’s pretty like you, daddy. Pink like your lips.” You giggle. He smiles, kissing you softly as his weight comes down on you. He looks down between your bodies, letting the mushroom head push through your slick folds. “Gonna be a little bit of a stretch, bunny. But it’ll feel better soon.” He says before pushing his cock all the way in to the hilt. You hold back a moan, focusing on when it’s going to stop hurting.
Eddie’s mind goes blank. Being inside you is more addicting than he thought it would be. He slowly pulls all the way out before sliding back in, just as deeply as before. He lets out a whimper as his face gets nuzzled into the crook of your neck, one hand on your hip, the other holding your cheek.
Your gummy walls hug him tight, like you were made for him. He lets his hips start to hump in and out of you, never fully pulling out, just enough to feel his balls slap against your ass. He keeps going and going and going, whimpering and moaning your name telling you how good you feel.
The painful stretching feeling is gone and all that’s left is pleasure, Eddie’s big thick cock filling you up just right, so much better than his fingers, which you didn’t think was possible.
Eddie’s hands grab behind your lower back, hugging you close to him as he fucks up into you. “So fucking tight baby, never gonna let this pussy go. Gonna make you mine forever.” He grunts as he fucks you hard and deep.
He’s starting to sweat, mumbling curses and praises to you. It feels so good you don’t want it to stop but you start to get worried. He’ll stop before it goes too far you think. His hips pump faster into you, wet sounds and skin on skin slaps echoing through the large barn. “Can’t pull out-can’t. Feels too good.” He chokes out. You whimper, hands pushing his chest, little “no”s leaving your mouth as another orgasm creeps up on you.
His movements get faster and sloppier, short broken moans leaving his mouth as his eyes screw shut, his forehead coming down to meet yours. You open your mouth as a silent moan comes from deep within you, coming at the same time as him. Thick ropes of his cum shoot inside you, his hips flush to yours as he pumps every last bit of his seed into you with a shudder.
You look at him angrily, “Eddie!” “What?” He says, laughing a bit at how cute you sound when you’re angry. “You said only for a minute!” “I’m sorry, it felt too good. Been waiting so long for that.” “You lied to me.” You said, eyes starting to water. He tuts at you, smile leaving his face. “No, no, no bunny, I tried to pull out, I really did. I’m sorry.”
A fat tear rolls down your cheek, “You didn’t try! Now what am I going to do? What if-what if-” you choke out through sobs. “It’ll be fine baby. You’re not pregnant. And if you are, we’ll be ok. All three of us.” You look at him with your big wet eyes, starting to relax and breathe normally again and Eddie smiles softly. He doesn’t regret what he did because he’d do it again. He meant what he said. He’ll make you his forever.
“Yeah?” You ask him. “Of course. Whatever happens, I’ll always be here. No matter what.” He says, thumb swiping away the trail of tears from your cheeks. He kisses you softly, “I love you, Bunny.” You smile, “I love you too, Eddie.”
.
.
.
#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson x y/n#self insert fic#perv!eddie x innocent!reader#perv!eddie munson#perv!eddie#eddie x fem!reader#Eddie x innocent!reader#eddie munson fan fiction#eddie x reader#eddie x country girl
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"Percy wouldn't like My Chemical Romance,it dosen't fit his vibe!"Be so fr,Mcr was literally MADE for Perseo Isadore Jackson!!I know y'all have only ever listened to Welcome To The Black Parade but even that fits him in some ways!Give 'em hell,Kid is him singing about Nico and Hazel.Helena is a duet between her and Nico as they reconciele inbetween Botl and Tlo and 'What's the worst that i could say?Things are better if i stay' is Nico realizing he actually deserves her and Sally's love and lets them adopt him so he can finally be away from Hades.Thank you for the Venom is a comfort ballad to Hazel about them mutually helping eachother feel at peace after loosing themselves.I'm not okay(I Promise)is her senior year at Goode High dealing with the events of Hoo and finishing high school at the same time.I never told you what i do for a living is his guilt over his demigod experiences.Not that kind of girl is her transfem bigender swag.My way home is through you,Summertime and Bulletproof heart are his canonical ways of expressing romantic love.It's not a fashion statement,it's a deathwish is her to Luke and the gods except for the ending,which is to Beckendorf.They fucking have a song called 'Mama' LIKE MAN i bet Percy's diy'd himself Mcr inspired outfits and made Mcr themed food too and even done his own version of Gerard looks and you KNOW he loves the Killjoys comics and was the one who introduced Nico and Hazel to Mcr and 'Cementery Drive' and 'Disenchantment' are their anthems."Percy wouldn't like My Chemical Romance"Percy is an afrolatino autistic millenial who had an abusive stepdad and has almost two decades worth of trans moments that her author refuses to let her unpack......and y'all think he hates Mcr but is a huge switfie-Get OUTTA SPOTIFY!!!!!
#percy jackson#perseo jackson#transfem percy jackson#bigender percy jackson#black percy#latino percy#autistic percy jackson#punk!percy#team parent percy jackson#pastel punk percy jackson#team mom percy jackson#nico di angelo#hazel levesque#black nico di angelo#pjo#tods#the anomalies#group:it's in my nature to love you#perlex#x black!reader#mcr#gerard way#mike milligram#anti taylor swift#persephone jackson#💌#summerposting#anti luke castellan#pjo gods slander#tlotfk
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Chalice of the Gods Hopes/Predictions
Predictions
I have a feeling this will feel like a connected collection of short storties, it reminds me of the "Staff of Hermes" short in premise
Lots of inside jokes and road trip shenanigans
I have a feeling the dynamic will be slightly different since not only have Percy and Annabeth been dating for a year or so at this point, but also they've been through so much. The story is marketed as a fun silly goofy adventure with the characters we know and love, but I have a feeling it will also dive into the trauma/recurring nightmares of their experiences in Tartarus and throughout the rest of the series, as alluded to in The Sun and the Star
On top of that, any mentions of Leo would be within the context of them believing him to be dead. I know some fans were upset at the reaction the campers had to Leo's return, but from the context of him leaving them to believe he was dead for as long as he did that might seem like a slightly more reasonable reaction.
Can almost guarantee that there will be at least a mention of Nico and Will as Percy finds out they've started dating, and also allusions to Apollo being missing since this takes place during the time between HoO and ToA.
Given the premise of Zeus' Chalice giving anyone who drinks from it immortality, I GUARANTEE there will be a callback to Percy turning down immortality
Percy is just done. With everything. He's gonna give Zeus a middle finger, just watch.
Hopes
Throwback to the Lotus Casino
A lot more characterization for Grover since he's been one of the more neglected characters in recent books
This is a very futile hope, but I've always wished we could have gotten Percy and Annabeth's initial reaction to learning of Jason's death. It would be cool if there was an epilogue when they first arrive at New Rome during the events of ToA, reccomendations in clutch, just to be told that Jason is dead. This might work if Percy is narrating the story after the fact from his college dorm or something of the like.
I know this book is going to remain middle grade like the rest of the series, but it would be SO funny if they allowed one little curse word past the censors. Let Percy say fuck 2023.
This is an open invitation to post your predictions and/or hopes in the comments!!! Have at 'em!
#i'll also add anything else i think of#pjo#percy jackson and the olympians#the chalice of the gods#cotg#pjo chalice of the gods#pjoverse#rrverse#riordanverse#spoilers#i guess#toa#trials of apollo#the sun and the star#percabeth#headcanons#predictions#jess's thoughts
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Nerdy Prudes Must Die Quotebook
Comment any I missed LMAO
⚠️NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT⚠️
“I am only ONE MAN’s girl, and that man is JESUS CHRIST.” Grace Chastity
“SHUT UUUUUUPPPP.” Max Jagerman *Audience cackles*
“THE ANSWER IS STILL NO….. by the way.” Max Jagerman
“RAAH” Max Jagerman and Grace Chastity
“the fucking BOW TIE KID???” Brenda the Cheerleader
“I know he’s RICH. But money isn’t everything! Looks are. “ Stacy the Cheerleader
“WAIFU MATERIAL” Richie Lipchitz
“SHE’S TOUCHING MEEE!! LUCKYYYY!” Ruth Fleming and Richie Lipchitz
“Woooow…. These toilets aren’t even in stalls! It’s better than I ever imagined!” Ruth Fleming
“Thats some cooool kid privilege right there.” Ruth Fleming OR Richie Lipchitz
“DESTROY HIM.” Grace Chastity
“God you suck, Grace.” Stephanie Lauter
“He’s made ALL OUR LIVES a living HECK.” Grace Chastity
“The most terrifying, HOTTEST bully in Hatchetfield” Grace Chastity
“BE COOL BEANS, KEEP THE BEANS COOL.” Grace Chastity
“We’ll fight sin with sin! Let the games begin!” ‘Nerdy Prudes’
“AM I READING AS GHOST OR LIN MANUEL MIRANDA” Peter Spankofvski
“YOU’RE FUCKING USLESS PETE.” (SO MANY PAUL REFERENCES.) Richie Lipchitz
“Ugh I gotta piss….” Max Jagerman
“Oh SHIT, where’s that creepy music coming from?” Max Jagerman
“Oh shit oh fuck it’s a fucking ghost!!!” Max Jagerman
“He thinks it’s real he’s just really fucking BRAVE.” Richie Lipchitz
“BOO HOO BITCH.” Max Jagerman
“I MAKE THE DEAD RUN IN FEAR! I AM GOD GOOOOO NIGHTHAWKS!” Max Jagerman
“Oh shit oh fuck I didn’t think there’d be a skele’in HERE!” Max Jagerman
“WOW… I uh… I thought you guys hated me. But uh, thanks! This was really great! No no no, this is the nicest thing anyone’s done for me!” Max Jagerman
“That was really special.” *bows* Max Jagerman
“And with MY luck, no one will even BOTHER making me their BITCH.” Ruth Fleming
“It was an act of god!” Grace Chastity
“Oh no she’s snapping again!” Richie Lipchitz
“Oh my asthmas back…” Richie Lipchitz
“I just cut off his nips.” Ruth Fleming FORESHADOWING???
“Steph, you can keep it. It would bring down my GPA.” Peter Spankofvski
“I’m tryna feel bad but it’s hard when everything is objectively better.” Peter Spankofvski
“Never thought I could open my locker without the fear running through me.” Richie Lipchitz
“N-IG-HT-AWE AWE- ks!” Everyone
“FUCK clivesdale.” Everyone, repeatedly.
“FUCK YOU CLIVESDALE WE’LL KILL YOU!” Cheerleaders and Jocks
“Zeke! The fighting nighthawk!” Jason the Football player
“We support and love you, but you fuckin’ stink man!” Jason the Football player
“FUCK CLIVESDALE! FUCK EM STRAIGHT TO HELL!” Richie Lipchitz
“I love being alive!” Richie Lipchitz
“YA BITCH.” Max Jagerman
“Of course not! But you’ve lost everything.” Max Jagerman HIT SO HARD
“Mama I’m cured!” Grace Chastity
“HWAELL they didn’t say!” Mark Chastity
“Alright ima need the 3 of you to shut the FUDGE up about Max Jagerman.” Grace Chastity
“SHUT. THE FUCK UP. RUTHY.” Stephanie Lauter
“People tell me to die everyday!” Ruth Fleming
“Don’t be ridiculous! Wait-“ Grace Chastity
“DAN!” Angry Adult Mob
“Suddenly the show is real upsetting!” Angry Adult Mob
“Fuckin’ transcendent…..!” Cop Corey
“I wanna remember who I YAAAMmmm…” Trevor, who’s only other credit is Barbecue Monologues Man 2
“I turned 40 today.” *pours alcohol* Ruth Fleming in Barbecue Monologues
“Oh shit not Clivesdale!” Officer Shapiro
*heavy breathing* “…… thank you.” Peter Spankofvski
“MY DAD sells WOMEN’S SHOES.” Peter Spankofvski
“Dork at the beany’s counter has more balls than you.” Stephanie Lauter
“LEAVE ROOM FOR JESUS” Grace Chastity
“She’s bisexual and dead, where else could she be?” Grace Chastity, also GRACE DONT CALL ME OUT
“I’ve done horrible things! Like touching myself and lying to the police! I called god a son of a b word! Who am iiiiii…..” Grace Chastity
“Don’t comfort her, she’s fucking weird.” Stephanie Lauter
“KYUK KYUK KAH FUCK.” Max Jagerman
“I beg to differ, BITCH.” Max Jagerman
“I’ve got a gun.” Stephanie Lauter
“Are you a woman of god?” “Catholic.” “I’ll take that as a no.” Grace Chastity and Officer Shapiro (as a Catholic this is hilarious.)
“I have no idea what I’m doing.” Peter Spankofvski (Me too Peter, me too.)
“My phone!” Stephanie Lauter
“WE DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR PHONE.” The Lords in Black
“Or fuck off!” The Lords in Black
“It’s you Steph. I’m into you.” Peter Spankofvski (IM CRYINGGGG)
“I just took a bullet for you bro!” Max Jagerman
“SO YOU DO KNOW THE BIBLE?” Grace Chastity
“But Jesus never threw a football like you Max.” Grace Chastity
“SHUT YOUR MOUTH HOLE SPANKOVSKI. I wanna hear this.” Max Jagerman
“FUCK. YEAH.” Max Jagerman
“GASP. That’s NASTY. I like it.” Max Jagerman
“WHAT. THE FUCK. IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.” Stephanie Lauter (That’s so me, Steph.)
“GRACE IS HAVING SEX WITH A FUCKING GHOST!” Peter Spankofvski
“I paid the price. Now fuck off!” *Spins* Grace Chastity
“WHAT ARE YOUUU-“ Max Jagerman
“You’re in my world now. Bitch.” One of the Lords in Black (Pokey I think???)
“I…. Am gonna get some fucking coffee.” Officer Shapiro
“Did you guys know JASON goes to my CHURCH?” Grace Chastity
Total quotes: 85
#nerdy prudes must die#nerdy prudes spoilers#team starkid#starkid#starkid npmd#npmd#what is happening#npmd spoilers#fuck clivesdale#grace chasity#grace chastity#max jagerman#stephanie lauter#richie lipschitz#ruth fleming#peter spankoffski#mark chasity#dan reynolds#the lords in black#lords in black#wiggly#hatchetverse#nibbly#tinky#pokey#hatchetfield
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HELLO!!! It is I! I’ve been thinking… if you’d be able to do an Irish!fem!reader who has all these Irish dancing trophies and the little dresses and shoes from when she was small, cuz I still do 😭, and reader gets so embarrassed because she can’t do it anymore and the boys insist on doing the walls of limerick with her!!!! Thank you!!!!
Platonic!141 x Reader - Sweet Music
Fem!Reader
A/N: OK, I am actually so fucking sorry this took forever. I was caught up with mock exams but they are over! And I shall be writing more! I had alot of fun writing this even tho I didn't do ur ask justice. I really hope that you enjoy it tho Teddy! Thank you for being the actual best and being so patient and kind!
Masterlist
Cw: Brief mentions of alcohol, Reader has a dog
Word Count: 1624
Kyle ‘Gaz’ Garrick
‘You got the last box?’
‘Yea.. yes! Don’t worry’
You struggled to grip the dusty cardboard against your body, your foot catching your ankle on the last step of the attic later. Earlier that day, you had asked Kyle to help with the daunting task of breaking open your sealed off attic and clearing it for storage of your military gear. Getting rid of whatever your mother had decided what was best to collect and hoard before she left. You both were able to clear out the majority of the space that afternoon, choking on the kicked up dust and cobwebs.
You had piled the boxes in your living room, circling your couch and chairs. You dog, Jax, strutted around the constructed towers, cautiously bending his head to sniff the stale cardboard. As you huffed the final box atop a stack that was starting to bleed into your kitchen, both you and Gaz admired your efforts with your hands resting on your hips.
‘You wanna crack em’ open?’
‘Let me get the wine first’
You could hear Kyle snicker behind you as you made your way to the kitchen. Returning with two glasses and one of your more expensive bottles of chilled red in hand, you settled yourself on the carpeted floor. Your head resting against the seated cushion of the couch. You handed Gaz the bottles and glasses and in trade he handed you a box cutter.
The echo of the wine filling the glasses was drowned by the blade of your knife ripping through the packaging tape lining the top of the box settled in front of you. Gaz did the same with a pair of kitchen scissors. You took a generous swig of your glass before diving your hands into the brown packing paper. Jax had settled his head on Kyle’s thighs, watching him unwrap a picture frame, starting a pile of garbage packing paper to be burned in your wood stove.
‘Oh-hoo.. What’s this?’
You lifted your head from the unwrapped shot-glasses to see that Gaz held a small rusted golden plaque in his hands. Your name scrawled in chipped cursive across the bottom of the frame.
‘Holy, haven’t seen that in forever. This must be my old dancing stuff’
‘Wha- you did dance?’
‘Surprised are you? Mom signed me up for it to get me outta the house.. I only continued with it cause’ Nan wanted me to get closer to my “gaelic roots” as she put it’
You scooted over to sit next to him, your hand instinctively finding Jax’s ears to scratch behind. You reached into the box and pulled out a bound pile of plaid. Undoing the twine, you unfolded a deep green plaid skirt, the seam stitched golden by your grandmother's hand. You ran your fingers down the trailing glint, it was as if you could feel your grandmother's touch holding down the fabric as she delicately thred it through her sewing machine. You could hear her sighs and coo’s of approval as you stumbled out of your bedroom, wearing the skirt for the first time.
‘So! Keep or give away?’
Kyle said before taking a swig of his own wine. He pulled another box closer to him, a small cloud of dust kicking up from his scissors gilding across the cardboard.
‘Keep for now, might get rid of the trophies but I can gives the dresses to Emi’
‘She’d really like that’
Kyle said smiling back at you, his rich chocolate eyes highlighted in the early evening sun. You held the small dress close to your chest for a moment before setting it beside you, in the now ‘keep’ pile.
Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley
You could feel the cold of the metal seat through the lining of your tactical pants. The weight of your combat vest held you down against the bench. It was cold, the air thick with the smell of gasoline and salt. The warm brush of your lieutenant's arm against the side of yours was the only thing reminding you that there would be a bed and a warm meal to hopefully return too after this mission. It was just you and Simon on the installed benches in the transport plane, the rest of the squad just offloading moments before.
‘Leave is com’in up.. plans?’
Simon's thick, graveled baritone cut through your coms, bringing you back into the familiar state of heightened awareness.
‘Oh.. umm.. Just gunna head back home.. Emi has a dance recital ‘week before Christmas and Mari wants me to drive her north for a weekend with her girlfriend, I told her no but she’s been begging me over the phone so-’
‘Friends?’
Simon asked, looking over at you. You glanced up at his eyes, darkened and blood-shot. The deep onset of the pale skull mask making them appear blended into the dirtied black fabric of the hood.
‘No.. my sisters, I thought I told you- hold on’
You smiled as you reached around and dug out from a small back pocket in your vest a chipped golden photo case. Excitement brewed within you at the chance to discuss your little family. Clicking it open and holding it up for Simon, he held it between his large gloved fingers. You focused back on his eyes, watching as they looked over the photos set into the sides of the case. The first being a blurred still of Mari holding your infant sister a few days after she was born. You were able to catch her mid laugh, her smile drawn tight, deepening her dimpled cheeks. Emi was swaddled in her lap, her soft chubby cheeks poking out from the quilted blanket she was wrapped in. The second photo was an old-black and white still of your grandmother when she was younger, her hair swooped elegantly over her forehead. It was the same photo that was kept in your grandfather's wallet, given to you after he passed. Behind it was a small swath of deep green plaid fabric. Simon ran his thumb over the black crossing lines, looking back to you with confusion.
‘Oh.. that umm.. Was a piece of one of my dancing dresses.. Nan made them for me and.. I don’t know, keeping it with me is a sort of reminder I guess’
You say taking the golden frame back from him, shutting it with a click. You rubbed your thumb over the scratches and dents in the metal, a testament to the many trips the case took with you throughout your multiple deployments and missions.
‘Dancing?’
‘Ha… yea.. Mom umm.. She had me do it throughout primary’
‘I.. wasn’t expecting that..’
Simon mumbles, shifting on the metal bench.
‘What? Do I not look like a child dance prodigy?’
You say, nudging his arm with your elbow.
‘No just… god.. cannot picture you.. I mean-’
You tried to hold back the ripple of amusement from your lips, watching the metaphorical gears turn in Simon's head. He quickly glanced back at you, confirming your clear enjoyment in his confusion. You leaned your head back against the metal wall, thumbing the photo case before tucking it back into the pocket of your vest. It was within these small moments of reprieve from tactical expectations that you wished you could put Simon, and the rest of your team's photo within the case alongside your sisters.
John ‘Soap’ MacTavish
‘Johnny! Food’s here!’
You call up from your living room, placing the hot paper bags on the low coffee table. You expected to hear his harsh footsteps down the creaking wooden stairs. Yet, only the sound of the dimmed slow piano crackling from your record player and the high-pitched thrum of late evening summer crickets filled the air.
‘Johnny!’
You shouted, unpacking the food.
‘Where..? God..’
You groaned, looking towards the hallway stairwell. You trudged up the stairs, two at a time. Your feet bouncing down the carpeted hallway, the dark glow of the evening sunset casting a dim glow from the hallway window.
‘John..?’
You said, poking your head into one of the spare bedrooms.
‘In here!’
Relief broke in your chest like the shell of an egg as you heard your sergeant's rough voice from your bedroom. You hadn’t been able to yet undo the familiar anxiety that comes with the lack of response from your teammates, an anxiety bred from being their stand-by medic.
You pushed open your bedroom door, the hinges squeaking. You had stopped using this room as yours a long time ago. It was now more a storage shed for your sister's old clothes and your military gear. You found John standing by an old dresser, dusty plaques and trophies covering the top of the mahogany wood. You watched as John held one of the frames in his large scarred hand.
‘What did ya find?’
You ask, standing by his shoulder while stuffing your hands in your pockets.
‘You should've told me you did dance’
He said, placing the frame back down. The picture he was looking at was an old, sunbleached still of you as a child, standing in a plaid dress next to your grandmother who was holding your then infant sister. Your smile held a few dark spots as you had just started losing your baby teeth.
‘Why’s that?’
You say, picking up another photo, you used the sleeve of your sweater to rub the dust from the shiny metal frame.
‘Well because my gran’ forced me into it too’
‘Shut up’
You say, placing the cleaned frame back down with a thump.
‘Im serious, once we fly up with Roach, me’ sister’ll show you the photos’
‘That is.. I never would have guessed’
‘Can say the same thing for you Bonnie’
#141#141 x reader#cod 141#task force 141#tf 141#mw2 141#cod#gaz x reader#kyle gaz garrick#call of duty#cod modern warfare#cod mwf2#john price#kyle garrick#gaz#gaz x y/n#gaz x you#simon ghost x reader#simon ghost riley#simon x reader#simon riley#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#john soap mactavish#john soap mctavish x reader#soap x reader#soap cod#soap mw2#mw2#john mactavish
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Finally getting around to watching CM:E
Thoughts thus far:
Rossi is sad and I remain pissed that they killed Krystal for no reason
Grey!Em is still my favorite thing
Happy to hear some swearing, the original show needed more of it
Let Rossi say fuck 2k24
“Remote Garcias” “we’re not gonna learn their names” lol Luke stays savage
“Anglophile baking club” oh come on Garcia. We all saw how shockingly queer everyone at that party is. It’s a kiki, plain and simple
Weren’t Luke and Garcia going to go on a date? Oh it’s been three years
“Take your carbs and exit sir” I love Garcia so much
“Hoo-ha” lol, burn Goop to the ground
“Korean drama” it’s a BTS anti unsub
Garcia straight up flapping I love her so much
Damn the writers for this Krystal flashback
Emily is gonna eat this Deputy Director alive
Oh thank fuck at least the rest of Dave’s family is alive
The Galvez cheek kiss *eeeee*
That little head kiss, Rossi’s such a dad/grandad
Damn Sicarius how do you have the time to dig all these holes?
Hahahahahaha I picked up on Tara and Rebecca at the same time as Emily
Waha Tara being openly queer!!!
Paget is like a proud mama that someone in the BAU finally gets to be queer
Dang this cashier girl is like literally saying exactly what I do at work
“My floof” I relate to this girl so hard
“Jagoff!” “Fuckhead!” Get his ass Rossi
Damn this therapy talk is so accurate go Garcia
Garcia and Rossi’s friendship is my Roman Empire
Man I can’t believe Sicarius actually thought that he could control obsessional killers. Dude, they aren’t going to listen to you
Sicarius you anti-retail asshole. I will dream of smashing you in the head with an axe from the hardware store where I work
Emily and Dave walking together both with grey hair look so cool now
“Is everyone but me getting laid?” “I’m not” lol ngl I appreciate the increased sexual humor
That’s my girl Garcia! I hate what it’s gonna do to your mental health to be back but I’m happy to see you
Dude if you’re gonna be a criminal psychopath with these amazing computer skills, how are you not at least making money off of it? Like, there is zero reason for you to be poor. Normally I wouldn’t say that about anyone but dude, are you seriously providing these kill kits for free?
Wait a sec he actually /took/ the dog? He didn’t just kill it? Dickhead!
“This fucking guy” yeah Rossi, read my mind about most unsubs on this show
Rebecca and Tara’s height difference is kind of killing me in this elevator scene they’re so cute
Garcia are you wearing Rocky Horror earrings? Love that
Haha fine furry friends returns
Dang y’all is Rossi the only one allowed to say fuck? It makes him sound like a teenager that just learned all the swear words. Let Garcia say fuck 2k24
I can’t believe that it’s an actual plot line that COVID prevented serial killers from killing so they had to change it up and go online. I’m sure the writers thought it sounded cool but it just sounds silly. What, did Sicarius’ first kill kits also include PPE?
Also why are these guys so willing to kill themselves for Sicarius? They seem like devoted to the cause and frankly, so many of these guys are narcissists and we’ve just seen one defy Sicarius, why are they listening to him? Seriously? No matter what he has on them, why would they consider it more important to follow his orders than their compulsions?
“You two-faced little jerk” yeah I hope he heard that
Soon we’re gonna be seeing Emily’s daydreams about killing people, not just Sicarius’.
Seriously, the idea of Sicarius having money problems is so dumb to me. He’s been shown to have immense resources and technological capability as well as ample time to use them. There is no reason why he should be financially unstable. I get that stuff like private school is expensive but dude, DUDE, you’re running a network of serial killers! It’s not THAT expensive! I feel like this whole plot point is set up to humanize him to a degree and it isn’t working well.
God whatever props guy worked on these posts for the fake forum Sicarius is using had fun. There’s a user named George_Jungle_fkr whose post consists of “I have a waifu, too!!! She lives in the jungle. I fuck in the jungle. I kill in the jungle.” With a profile picture of George of the Jungle. No shit. Pause on that screen, it’s wild. User GetHungry1893 with a post about not judging people and a profile pic of a man with bloody hands sucking on a bone. User NotSoFast with a drag racing car profile pic and with a post titled “I’m getting more guns!” That then goes on to use the phrase “waifu” and *wink wink*. User Tiredoftheblood101 with a bloodspot clipart profile pic and use of the term “OP”, asking about how to kill his MOM (capitalization his). Also in the background a user named Anonymous1232 with the anonymous logo as their profile pic.
Wait Sicarius actually has a real job? He wasn’t just bullshitting about it so he could travel all over the country? What, is running this serial killer network like a side hustle for him? Wait wait wait and he’s going on business trips that the company is actually sending him on? Like he’s following their directives? And driving a company car? This is insane. If they’re gonna characterize Sicarius the way they have been, none of this makes sense. Side note: the guy playing Sicarius is actually a good actor and after some of the previous disappointments (Scratch and the Chameleon) it’s nice to see.
This DEI discussion between Sicarius’ daughter and the redneck neighbor was not something I expected to see in Criminal Minds.
“You fucking beta cuck” yeah pretty much what I’d expect from a guy like this. But also, hysterical to hear incel language being used in real life. Damn man, you just called his daughter a bitch? He’s gonna flay you alive! I wouldn’t provoke anyone like that, even without knowing they’re the head of a serial killer network. Anyone can snap you dumbass.
“Somebody should do something about that guy.” Oh of course she says this to the serial killer. Good lord. “I’m glad you’re not that somebody.” Oh honey yes he is lol. Or he’ll send someone from the network to do it.
Ha I just realized that I carried a case exactly like the kill kit cases when I worked for the Red Cross. Contained equally suspicious things (needles, gauze, etc), if you didn’t know what company I was working for lol.
“Those who bankrolled you” then why is he having money problems god this is so dumb! “I’m not putting a gun to my head” yeah I predicted this would happen.
More hysterical users on Sicarius’ platform: User NotSoFast at it again “I miss my family. Bad aim” User Ript4u, with a muscular torso pic talking about the fruitlessness of love, calling people lemmings, “simps,” “bitchboy,” “I will dominate,” and the delightful paragraph “These bitches think they’re got it all figured out. Walking on a cloud of happy thoughts and unicorn farts.”
Haha Garcia said fan fiction! We made it to the mainstream lol.
“Honey let it go” woman he called your daughter a bitch! I’d punch him for that!
Damn Tara you’re gonna get your gf fired
“Typical bureaucratic bullshit” yes YES the old man is out! Rossi ur a king
Is Sicarius really there in person! That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Oh wow he is what a dumbass! And so close to the bomb zone too! Did you want to get blown up too?!
Yeah bringing in domestic terror was a mistake.
“Excellent. I never wanted it in the first place” also kind of misogynistic to turn to Rossi after Emily rejected you.
“Wank-weasel” Garcia ur my spirit animal
“You’re a hedge fund manager with a badge. You have never done anything” get his ass Emily! I guess after Barnes the BAU has completely lost their patience for bureaucratic dickheads
“I just wanted you to hold my hand” they are soft gfs and I love them
About time one of the unsubs turned on Sicarius
Screw the propaganda that you can just make dogs eat people when they’ve been totally docile and relaxed their whole lives
Hey Sicarius, you remembering how annoying it is to do your own cleanup now?
Who the fuck is this guy Elias is hallucinating?
Genuinely curious how he finds time to make these custom foam inserts for the briefcases
Ok why is it taking so long to identify the victims found from Sicarius? This is set in 2022, DNA is fast and common.
Can’t believe this Tyler guy looked into Garcia enough to send her the encrypted locations but not enough to figure out she literally worked for the FBI. His anger over her handing over the info makes zero sense.
I know a lot of ppl hate Will for getting in the way of Jemily but he’s a very good husband. Patient, intelligent, cute. I like him.
“I believe you, but will Mom?” This new sibling energy between Rossi and Emily is everything. Also that burgundy blazer set is amazing on her.
I think Tyler has a little crush on Garcia. He just wants a woman who will kick his ass.
“Because of you I feel safe in our home” so cute literally so romantic I love them when they’re sweet
Only tangentially related but I’d love to see an episode where a serial killer breaks into another serial killer’s house. Like would it go “whoops my bad” or “you asshole you jacked my plan!” or would they just kill each other
Garcia’s little rant is hilarious
“I’m not a problem. I’m a delight. I’m a little dramatic but wonderful” yes you are Garcia
I almost believe the deputy director truly didn’t want to be overseeing this case. My guess, without watching the episode, is that he wants to prove he has some field experience so Emily can’t use it against him anymore. Also he might have a small crush on her and be a little afraid of Rossi. This season is full of men who like dominant women and I support that. I don’t support any sort of relationship between this man and Emily but I support the concept
“Bullshit. She broke your heart.” Welcome to working with profilers sir.
Also finally figured out what Emily’s scathing inditement of the deputy director reminded me of: it’s Hotch’s profiling of his team to defend them against Strauss
Emily’s smile when she finally got one over the deputy director, so pretty
Garcia and her ‘puter like she literally did the cat meme
Ok the orange crocs are a sin I would throw a folder at him too
Not surprised Will doesn’t have cancer but pissed they even teased us with it.
Haha Garcia is gonna make that dude keep the cat lol
Oh hey Sicarius. Nice to see you. Gonna kill a senator now?
lol Sicarius is like yeah I’m not sticking around for this freaky Oedipal shit. You can bankroll me, but I’m not into voyeurism on this
I know we’re supposed to be worried but 1) using a streaming site undercuts the tension of thinking a character will die and 2) that was the sexiest wheels up ever
Hahaha wow they didn’t even try to give us a realistic justification for Sicarius taking off his shirt
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CW for descriptive speaking about body horror, blood, and overall lack of grammar
tl;dr the average painful-turning-into-a-monster-transformation-sequence media isn't whumpy enough and people need to dive more into shit like turning into merfolk and mutating into weird hybrids that are in the uncanny valley of "feels like my body but not"
also please note that this is all just my opinion and experience in media consumption and you are free enjoy what you like; im just bored and felt like rambling with 0 grammar or punctuation today.
hey guys I like seeing people go through intense painful physical transformations with an affect on their mental state that either makes them scared of them selves or forces them to do horrible things that also scare them and can I just say that werewolves are so underwhelming
like yeah sure you get taller and turn into a buff ass furry boo hoo go cry about it like most of the time you're not even aware and it only lasts for a fucking night
give me shit like turning into a siren/merperson where they have to feel themself molting and their skin squeezing on their body as scales start to grow and they start mindlessly scratching every where from the pain when uh oh your legs are failing but you can't think about that now until whoopsie daisy your lower limbs are melting together and your pants are magically whooshed away once you're past the nakey parts
also did I mention the wonderful possibility of growing fins everywhere and experiencing those tear through your muscles and skin whilst they grow on your back and arms and already painful and foreign feeling tail and also your vocal cords changing to be able to produce siren song shit in a way that makes your throat feel like its being mauled from the inside out oh yeah and also having your eyes fall out and regrown wouldn't that be a fun idea
anyways vampires are about the same except a little better than werewolves bc they at least have the possibility of dealing with "the hunger" tm and way more weaknesses that can make them miserable like not being able to be in the sun or eat food anymore bc your body can't handle it
one of the better examples ive seen is the one in ROTTMNT: The Movie, where (be warned of spoilers) characters are "possessed", so to speak, and this shit goes on
its a very good movie, highly recommend it (the sereis has two seasons, and I haven't found the movie off of Netflix)
also blood and struggling to adjust to a now permanent mental impairment/disadvantage/damage in a sense of "you're not human anymore and so you now have to deal with [blank] thought processes" (eg. someone gaining dragon shit would grow an affinity to hoarding things, not noticing such until their home is incredibly cluttered with piles of shiny items and hating themself for doing something so "inhuman")
things that ive seen that fall in the good transformation category are:
demons*
birds work most of the time, but you have to give them a beak and shit. also the wings can't just grow out of them painlessly.**
most fantasy based anthros, really.***
most mutations seen in TMNT shows (that shits known to be painful bc it alters your DNA mostly through science rather than the normal mystics)
bugs
*only horns and a tail? weak. give 'em goofy legs and a snout or some shit, spin in a few animal traits just for fun. mental side effects that are nice for these guys tend to be a sudden lust for darkness (or just a sudden intense lust)
**I recommend something like their arms falling off, OR something similar to the process in Haibane Renmei (tw for blood and minor body horror). An alternate option that I haven't seen would be to have the arms morph into wings themselves, but none of that grow feathers and get little longer bullshit. Character should feel their bones changing, the flesh forming to create a new limb and feathers piercing their skin like needles. Yes feathers are regularly soft, but imagine having a hundreds of tiny pinprick like things poking out of you and getting longer.
***this does not include fairies and unicorns. The only acceptation for these is character having weird magic fluxes and this becoming an effect of such. for example, if character is becoming a fairy, they will feel themself being compressed as wings either grow from their back or are summoned in a blast of magic that basically cuts them open where the wings "attach" so to speak.
#justletmetalk#if y'all have something to say to defend werewolves being cool or something come at me#you can't say anything about having ears and a tail in daytime and shit that's just fucking annoying#you can hide that easy as fuck all you have to do is worry about like super strength and even then plenty of superheroes deal with that fin#so why shouldn't you#werewolves#vampires#monsters#merfolk#mythical creatures#siren#sirens#whump#transformation whump#tw mentions of body horror#cw mentions of body horror#cw body horror#cw body modification#body mods are a whole other rabbit hole but I love those too
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Every Postal 1 Voiceline cuz I’m a fucking nerd
I couldn't find any actual written collection of the voicelines from the og game, so I uh. Transcribed them myself. For no reason. So here you go if anyone wants them, and I might do redux after I play it.
Warning the list is really long so like don't click read more unless you're in a new tab or you don't mind scrolling lmao.
Taken from this very helpful video (check it out for optimal reading experience): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6usSBZeMWA
“Bleed.” (Twice)
“Let’s blow something up.”
“Buckwheat!”
“Burn.”
“Burn, baby, burn.”
“Buttsauce!”
“Smells like chicken.”
“Ooh, hole in one!”
“Sorry, I’m out of hot towels. Will this do?”
“This won’t affect my tip, will it?”
“You’re gonna need a massage after this.”
“You should’ve gone to Disneyland.”
“I could really kill for a massage right now.”
“Get ‘em, they’re stealing all the tennis balls!”
“Sorry, he checked out already.”
“Who peed in the pool?”
“Ah, alternative lifestyles.”
“Awh, rip the birthday suit.”
“Nudity is offensive.”
“Some people have no sense of decency.”
“You must be freezing, lemme warm you up.”
“Watch it wriggle, rich bastards.”
“Now do you agree that the customer is always right?”
“Forget the brown bag, you need a body bag.”
“Shut the ten items or less crap, bastard.”
“What do you mean this lane is closed? Now it is!”
“What do you mean this lane is closed? It is now!”
“I can’t stand bastards with coupons.”
“Sorry, no refunds ma’am.”
“Would you like a free sample?”
“Clean up on isle five.”
“Now that’s a blue light special!”
“Here’s your low price guarantee.”
“Proudly made in the USA, baby.”
“What do you mean you don’t take plastic?”
“What? You don’t sell Postal?” (Twice)
“Ugh, smells like sour milk.”
“Ahh, nothing like the smell of burning government cheese in the morning.”
“Listen. Can you hear the property values going up?”
“Gotta love welfare reform.”
“Do it quietly. Wouldn’t wanna wake up the neighborhood, would ya?”
“You maniacs, you blew it up! …Oh wait, that was me.”
“You should remain still when injured. Here, lemme help you.”
“What a mess… we can’t have anything nice.”
“What? You’re pinned down? Lemme help.”
“Shake it up, baby!”
“Wow, this grenade works great!”
“I’ll see you in hell. (Laughter)”
“Aww, do you have a boo-boo?”
“Eat lead, sucker!”
“Today is a good day to die!”
“The exterminator’s back!”
“You’re gonna pay for that.”
“I am the angel of death.”
“Show no mercy.”
“Damn, I’m good.”
“Death is my master.”
“Death is my friend.”
“Do you smell something burning?”
“Feel my wrath, dog.”
“Die like the dog you are.”
“Mmm, I love a good barbecue.”
“Judge, jury and executioner.”
“Is it hot in here, or is it just me?”
“Killing is good for the soul.”
“Die, weakling!”
“Wussy.”
“All must die.”
“Prosecution rests.”
“Case dismissed.”
“Checked out early.”
“Keep the change.”
“Satisfaction guaranteed.”
“Is there a doctor in the house?”
“Beg for this.”
“Die.” (Twice)
“Don’t be a sissy.”
“Only you can stop the evil.”
“Feel the heat.”
“Get ‘em!” (Twice)
“Going, going, gone.” (Twice)
“Good one.” (Twice)
“Going Postal.”
“Hoo-hah!”
“He’s outta there!”
“See you in hell!”
“I like it hot.”
“Kickin’ ass.”
“(Laughter)” (twice)
“They never liked you.”
“I regret nothing!”
“Oh, baby.”
“O.J!”
“Only my weapons understand me.”
“Postal.”
“Sissy.”
“Slam!”
“Ooh, did that hurt?” (Twice)
“Do it for the gibber!”
“The gun knows.”
“You’re the man.”
“Only my weapon understands me.”
“Yes!” (Twice)
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Hikari if she had a normal life, went to high school / university, and at one point got mad after a networking event between students and the League :
If you just opened this like I told you to, tie yourself down to whatever chair you're sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough fucking ride.
For those of you that have your heads stuck under rocks, which apparently is the majority of the student body, we have been FUCKING UP in terms of evening networking events and general social interactions with the League. I've been getting message after message about people being so goddamn AWKWARD and so goddamn BORING. If you're saying to yourself, "But oh em gee Hikari, I've been having so much fun with my friends this week!", then punch yourself in the face right now so that I don't have to find you on campus to do it myself.
I do not give a flying fuck, and the League does not give a flying fuck, about how much you love to talk to your friends. You have 358 days out of the year to talk to friends, and this week is NOT, I repeat NOT one of them. This week is about fostering relationships between us youth and the region’s professional hotshots plus their support, and that's not possible if you're going to stand around talking to each other instead of them. Newsflash you stupid pieces of shit: OFFICIALS DON'T LIKE KIDS WASTING THEIR TIME. OH WAIT, DOUBLE NEWSFLASH: THE LEAGUE IS NOT GOING TO WANT TO SHOW US THE ROPES IF WE FUCKING SUCK, which by the way, in case you're an idiot and need it spelled out for you, WE FUCKING SUCK SO FAR.
"But Hikari!" you say in a whiny little bitch voice to your computer screen as you read this email, "I've been cheering on our League at all the conference matches, doesn't that count for something?" NO YOU ASS HATS, IT DOES NOT. DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY? IT DOESN'T COUNT BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN FUCKING UP AT THE MATCHES TOO. I've not only gotten texts about people being WEIRD (for example, acting braindead and saying stuff like "durr what's a Z-Move?" is not funny), but I've also heard about people cheering for the opposing team. The opposing. Fucking. Team. I don't care about “sportsmanship,” YOU CHEER FOR OUR GODDAMN LEAGUE AND NOT THE OTHER ONES. Have you never watched a single tournament before? Are you blind? Or are you just so disgustingly dense about what it means to make people like you that you think being a good little supporter of EVERYONE ELSE is going to make our League happy? Well it's time someone told you: NO ONE LIKES THAT, ESPECIALLY OUR LEAGUE. I will cunt punt the next person I hear doing something like that, and I don't give a crap if you report me, I WILL ASSAULT YOU.
"Ohhh Hikari, I'm now crying because your email has made me oh so so sad.” Well good. If this email applies to you in any way, meaning if you’re a little asswipe that stands in the corners during nighttime discussions or if you're a weird shit that does weird shit during the conference, this following message is for you:
DO NOT GO TO TONIGHT'S EVENT.
I'm not kidding. Don't go. If you have done ANYTHING I've mentioned in this email and have some rare disease where you're unable to NOT do these things, then you are HORRIBLE, I repeat, HORRIBLE PR FOR OUR SCHOOL. I would rather have four students that are fun and interesting chatting with our League officials than eighty clueless imbeciles. If you are one of the people that have told me "Oh nooo boo hoo I can't talk to them I'm too scared", then I pity you because I don't know how you got this far in life. With that in mind, don't show up unless you're going to stop being an embarrassment for our school. I swear to Arceus if I see anyone being a jackass at tonight's event, I will tell you to leave even if you're a straight-A battling prodigy. I'm not even kidding. Try me.
And for those of you who are offended by this email, I would apologize but I really don't give a fuck. Go fuck yourself.
- Your Class President
#excessive caps cw#[ giratina come pick me up :: crack. ]#/ taken from an infamous 2013 sorority email that’s much more offensive than hika’s version. \
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alright, so i made this playlist with the target audience of Specifically Me, but if anyone else loves both ofmd and the killers as much as i do, may i present:
Ed x Stede, as told by The Killers
15 songs, 59 minutes in total.
(also on youtube, if you don't use spotify or aren't able to listen in order, which i highly recommend)
i wanted to challenge myself to tell the story of their relationship (throughout s1 + a bit of hopeful speculation) using only songs by the band that's been rotting my brain for the past year, and i think i was able to do it surprisingly cohesively.
a brief explanation and lyric highlight for each choice can be found under the cut.
(all lyrics are taken from genius, in case some don't match what you hear or don't match what spotify says)
1. boy
this could really be read as either a stede childhood song or an ed childhood song. both? both is good.
these streets / weren't meant to house / jet-fueled engine dreams
2. When You Were Young
hoo boy, if there was ever a song about ed having religious trauma.
he doesn't look a thing like jesus / but he talks like a gentleman / like you imagined when you were young
3. I Can't Stay
sorry to go straight from one of their best songs to one of their... not best songs. but yes, stede leaving mary.
in the dark, for a while now / i can't stay, very far / i can't stay much longer / riding my decision home
4. The Man
the man, the myth, the legend, Blackbeard™, with a head made of smoke and all that.
i got skin in the game / i got a household name / i got news for you baby, you're looking at the man
5. Flesh And Bone
except, oops, he's actually a person, too. and his relationship with his near-mythical persona is a complicated one.
what are you afraid of? / and what are you made of? / flesh and bone / and i'm running out of time
6. Tidal Wave
they're falling in love, your honor.
you say this life has given you nothing / you got another thing coming
7. Andy, You're A Star
uh oh, ed's prioritizing love and happiness over his career and his fame! izzy sure isn't happy about that.
in a car with a girl / promise me she's not your world / 'cause andy, you're a star
8. Mr. Brightside
yeah, i'm sorry, i know this song is overplayed, but i had to. here comes calico jack, my beloved dumpster fire, to separate our boys.
jealousy / turning saints into the sea / swimming through sick lullabies / choking on your alibis
9. Neon Tiger
ah, here they come, that good ol' english navy looking for stede.
run neon tiger, there's a price on your head / they'll hunt you down and gut you / i'll never let 'em touch you
10. Leave The Bourbon On The Shelf
ed's time away from stede is pretty dang miserable. and for this song's eerie ending, picture his smile right before he pushes lucius overboard.
before you say goodbye / leave the bourbon on the shelf / and i'll drink it by myself / and i love you endlessly
11. Everything Will Be Alright
stede, my sweet optimistic boy, you have no idea what you're returning to.
and you don't need to compromise / i'm dreaming 'bout those dreamy eyes / i never knew, i never knew / but it's alright
12. The Rising Tide
angry! ed! breakup! song!
before life and the dream collide / 'cause the truth's gonna come and cut me open wide / and you can't escape the rising of the tide
13. Have All The Songs Been Written?
stede's apology.
i just need one more to get through to you / i can't take back what i've done wrong / i just need one more
14. All These Things That I've Done
ed coming to terms with his past, his present, and his future.
these changes ain't changing me / the cold-hearted boy i used to be
15. Bones
they've reunited for good, and now they fuck. (seriously, the following are probably my favorite lines but they don't nearly do justice to how horny this song is.)
there's someone calling / an angel whispers my name / but the message relayed is the same: / "wait 'til tomorow, you'll be fine"
if you've read this far, thank you so much for indulging this intersection of my two biggest brainrots of 2022. for making it to the end, i'll reward you with the opportunity to Behold the kiss again:
#my brain is full of worms who are all riding on a sam's town record as it rotates and i'm making it everyone's problem#ofmd#our flag means death#ofmd playlist#stede bonnet#edward teach#blackbeard#gentlebeard#blackbonnet#ed x stede
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make way everyone my gf and i were discussing one of our other medsnips that i neglected to mention in my other post BUT.,., priest sniper and "priest" (demon) medic.,. heh.. also let it be known that The Church here means like. chr*stian religion umbrella or w/e lol. don't care about getting any more/less specific atm but just so we're clear lskdfjd
so medic was a human who thought that The Church was total bullshit and encouraged people to question them and their faith in general etc. he ends up being burned at the stake for "crimes" [caught publicly denouncing the church, framed for a crime or like whatever. not dwelling on this part] and comes back as a demon that is dead set (hoo!) on making things as miserable for the church as possible (feeds off of strife and chaos of course), so he travels around and eventually comes upon a church that sniper is a part of. he's been born and raised to be a part of it and continues to do so because it's what he was taught and ever since his parents died he's just been leaning on it extra hard. Very Devout... wanted to make his family proud... etc.....
so medic is eager to start "feeding" off of this establishment and comes across sniper who is one of the first to welcome him ("some people can be rude to newcomers. i always try making 'em feel welcome, so... welcome,. heh.") and medic can tell that sniper is good-hearted and is like hmm... he will be spared from my wrath ^w^! and so things start happening around the church like more gossip starts coming out, food starts going bad quicker, some people leave, etc... and this whole time sniper's been having... really good "luck". his fruits are riper, meat tastes better, etc. strange!
one time sniper and a few others (shitty people) are under some pillar or something in the church and it "randomly" collapses and medic conveniently is right nearby to watch as sniper is miraculously juuust enough out of the way to be completely unharmed. and medic rushes over and is like "mein gott, are you alright!" and sniper's like "yeah!! heh, i must have a guardian angel!" and medic's heart flutters and is like "hoo…! imagine that! >v>"
more under the cut; is a little suggestive, so just a heads up!
so naturally being a lover of gossip and chaos, the confessional is medic's favorite place to be. easy pickin's for a demon like himself and completely private (plus it's not something other members typically enjoy doing so higher ups immediately stuck medic with it), so he's chilling in there doing his rounds reading a magazine etc and someone comes in and is like "d'like to confess... something..." and medic knows that voice.,., it's... sniper.,.,
medic instantly perks up and is giving sniper his Genuine Full Attention and like "yes, go ahead," and sniper swallows thickly and is like "i need help. i think i've been... well, i think i'm sick," and medic raises a brow and is like "well, that can be remedied with medicine-" and sniper kinda cuts him off and is like "no. not like... that." and medic stays silent and sniper tries again and is like "i... i have... feelings... of... (clears throat)... various... complexities.,., for someone." and medic's like "well feelings certainly aren't a sickness. how do you feel that this is wrong?" and sniper's like "... it's... feelings of.... lust." and medic bristles a bit because he's about to be so lethally jealous if sniper has a crush on anyone but him!!
buuut medic knows this feeling all too well and being a demon doesn't mean he's devoid of feelings... he remembers what it was like being a human too! and is like "you should tell the object of our affection.., they would certainly be glad to hear it..." and sniper shakes his head repeatedly and is like trying to articulate like yes he has a crush on him but not only that he wants to fuck diabolically nastily with him and medic can like. Sense/Feel the distress coming off of sniper.... and sniper's SOOOOOO sexually wound up and has had the literal fear of God put into him and medic's like ;_; would never judge him for this... wants to help Sexually but also emotionally... :'(
and medic's like "well, why don't you walk me through your pain. tell me about it a bit more in depth. these feelings surely aren't sinful-" and sniper cuts him off and is like "but they are! y'don't get it, i.., the things i want him to do to me...!" and basically starts dirty talking (accidentally.. SD:FK:SDF) to medic and medic's like ok genuinely? lord have mercy and they're both all wound up and at this point medic's trying not to transform because sniper's lust is like. palpable to him and its delicious but he also doesn't want to scare sniper.,.!
[not going to post nsfw itself here despite the copious amounts i've written of it for this LOL but pretend i did. it just jumps from here becuase we're still sorting out exactly how medic reveals himself as a demon but they're getting hot and heavy we'll just say that.]
when medic reveals himself (all of the things sniper's feeling + what medic himself is feeling it becomes literally impossible to stop his transformation) sniper's like shaking and is like "oh my god. oh my god. oh my god please don't kill me, i'm sorry, i'm sorry!" and medic cups sniper's cheek and is like "your... guardian angel would never hurt you.,, darling michel.,." and sniper's like WHAT ALL OF THAT WAS YOU THIS WHOLE BLOODY TIME?????
and medic grins (rows and rows of sharp teeth) and is like "hee hee.,. guilty...! ^v^" and the more they fool around [redacted amounts of smut lskfsklddjf] medic's pupils start going black and red and his voice as a like Metallic Twang to it and he starts growing horns and wings and flaps them excitedly and whacks his tail around (wagging it) and sniper gasps and squeezes his thighs around medic's head tighter (a bit startled) and it just makes his tail sway harder/makes his wings flap excitedly and sniper moans and is like "ohhhhh god!!! <33" arches his back and gasps and medic's like "aheh, please, call me ludwig ^v^" and sniper whimpers his name and medic's like @v@
aaand the rest i'll probably post about on my nsfw twitter at some point HEH (mutuals can feel free to dm me and ask for it)! >:) but i hope u enjoy!! ^v^ <333 like anything else feel free to send asks about them or whatever u wanna do heh!! <3
#medsnip#dutchfoolery#demonpriest medsnip#this one was also Birthed From H*rniness before Plot so . yeah do with that what you will#aSDF:LAKSD:LFK
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DMC Questions Anon here!
Before you read this next question:
I was informed that it would be a good idea for my questions to be answered with a specific tag so if people wish to block it they could. Please tag your answers to any question I send you with "dmc questions anon" and I think that should work.
If you wish to be taken off the list, ask. If somebody wishes to be placed on the list, ask. If your anon asks are off and you wish to participate, just make a post answering the question you see going around.
Remember you do not have to answer every question, so please don't feel pressured to do so.
Please also remember to take as long as you need! Do not rush yourself, this is supposed to be a fun activity and I don't want anyone to feel stressed out by trying to rush to answer questions.
Now onto the actual question:
How would you rank the 5 games in the Devil May Cry series? (By story)
Separately, if you want, how would you rank extended material? (The DMC1 Novel, The DMC3 Mangas, The Anime, The DMC2 Novel, Deadly Fortune, Before the Nightmare, and Visions of V, all of which can be found (along with other stuff) here: https://originaldmc.github.io/DivinityStatue/Downloads.html)
If you wish, how would you rank all of it together in one big list?
DMC QUESTIONS ANON!! :D
Okay, I'm gonna do everything together, but i will preface this by saying i have a lot more exposure to some things than others, thus I will have varying degrees of 'much to say'.
DMC 5
I'm definitely biased for this (it's the one that got me into the franchise) but I digress.
FAMILY THEMES BABI MY FAVORITE THING
I just adore the main cast so much u do not understand. So much hype shit happens with em too, it's great. The characters are simultaneously over the top but also very real? Like Dante is the wacky woo-hoo pizza man but also horribly in control of his emotions and how to express them.
The Vergil reveal was so obvious but I dont care. It's good. The depths given to his character through V and Urizen are VERY good.
And NERO- lord everyone in this family has trauma
Also SDT was introduced in this game I'm sorry but no piece of DMC media will be able to top this because of it.
2. DMC 3
is anyone surprised
I love the bois so much, with their stupid catchphrases and horrible family dynamics. it's so weird looking at them like
I was nighteen once. I wasn't like them but I was nighteen.
Also the THEMES once again center around family, especially with the addition of Lady and Arkum. I also love this cast SO MUCH
except arkum fuck arkum all the homies hate arkum
Literally the only reason this is lower than DMC 5 is because no Nero, Trish or Nico. That's it.
3. Visions of V
i haven't talked about him much but I would also gently hold V (and by extension Vergil)
Really I just love this manga because of how much is shown and revealed through it. Everything is really visceral and hits so hard.
Literally everything in this manga stabs u in the feels especially the final shit GOOD LORD
but it really is tied with #4 because it can't really stand by itself? It needs DMC 5 to be whole, in a way.
4. DMC 4
I really wanted to put this above VoV but my DMC 5 bias shown through in the end IM SORRY
also yeah Sanctus as a villian is dogshit, i agree
and some characters REALLY needed more screen time (see: Credo, Angus, KYRIE) but also this game has the Shakespeare scene so....
also I just love Nero and his teen angst can u blame me
But GOD did Kyrie need more screentime
5. Before the Nightmare
Wow the DMC 5 bias strikes again, huh.
IDK man I just love the prequel shit. Like, Nico and Nero meeting is so fucking funny
Also Lucia makes an appearance for the first time since DMC 2 so thats cool
It also expanded the lore on how devil arms work through Balrog which I am SO thankful for.
Also Roc Goldstein exists now and everyone should know about one of the ONLY GOOD DADS in DMC history
Really the only other one I give my full respect to is Sparda, and he died when his kids were like, six. (Dante and Vergil r getting there tho, give em time.)
6. The Anime
Look Patty is the only reason this is so high I love her and if u look at my previous posts u can tell I love her and Dante's father daughter relationship u can pry it out of my cold dead hands
Also the lore with Sparda's apprentices, demon smoners being a thing, and the introduction to Morrison is very nice.
But also Lady was WAY off the mark almost the entire time, and the plot with Patty only really took center stage towards the end so :(
ALSO THEY DIDNT EVEN SHOW DEVIL TRIGGER IN FULL I WILL NEVER FORGIVE CAPCOM FOR THIS INJUSTICE
capcom if u put Patty in more shit I will forgive you (maybe)
7. DMC 1 novel
This novel is weird because it was written before almost all of the other shit so Canon often either ignored it or bent over backwards to avoid it until the DMC 5 era
But I like it. All of the new characters r very good and I love them all.
Grues death STILL hits me in the feels so hard.
Dante has lost so many parental figures ya'll
One of the only reasons it's so low is because of Gilver, the fuck
He made NO fucking sense for the longest time until the timeline rewrite and the retcon that he's a Vergil clone.
That fits his character so much more bur looking at him as Vergil makes no fucking sense. Everything about his character contradicts what we know about Vergil, even back with only DMC 3 as a reference.
Despite those issues, i am very happy we are seeing some rep for this book in the games and other media. U do not understand the screech I let out when Grue's daughters were shown years later.
8. DMC 1
is this sacrilegious?
Yeah the gameplay is good and it was a hallmark of its time but also Dante is as stale as cardboard here I'm sorry
Like his plot is the most uniform and overdone revenge plot I have ever seen and his relationship with Trish....
it's funky in this game, let me tell u. Thank whatever higher power exists that they leaned more towards siblings in later installments because I would be pulling my hair out otherwise.
But the quips r also really good and all of the Nelo Angelo stuff is my favorite part of the plot, so I guess that evens out?
This game was a very good launching point for the rest of the series except u know what
Also fuck mundus all the homies hate mundus he sucks
9. Deadly Fortune
Uhhh yeah it's just.... DMC 4 again with some things changed?
Honestly the reason this is so low is because of my preferred way of absorbing story is through video games than manga.
It's okay. Not trash or anything. It's just alright
10. DMC 3 Mangas
They're ... fine? I guess.
Like the first meeting between the twins in YEARS is very good, but also the manga is unfinished and all...
So I'll just leave it at that.
11. DMC 2 Novel
Gonna be honest I've never read this one.
So I'm giving it the benefit of the doubt
12. DMC 2
Yeah remember when I said Dante was cardboard in DMC 1? Yeah now he's silent, emotionless cardboard.
the villian is bad, the location is okay i guess, really the only saving grace for this games story is the concepts it introduces
Demon civil wars? Artificial demons created by people? Those are cool concepts! So cool that one was reused in a much better game, but I digress.
Honestly the story is probably one of the least sacrilege parts of DMC 2, and it still isn't the worst piece of DMC media based on story. That goes to our surprise contender....
13. DMC: Devil May Cry
DMC questions anon did NOT ask for this, but I'm putting it here so that everyone understands that this games story and characters are SO BAD that I'm putting UNDERNEATH DMC 2
But what can I say that hasn't been already stated?
Vergil is so far out of character he's basically an OC and his turn around at the end makes no fucking sense
Donte is an asshole who has functionally abandoned what made Dante likeable in ANY GAME
The plot itself is the most rehashed 'the government is evil and we must resist it' plot EVER
Even the new shit they added for this game doesn't even fucking work well.
Having demons that look like angels be the antagonists is much more interesting that just having angels and having them do NOTHING
Kat is literally the only thing that I don't have a super negative opinion on because she was NEW and I hadn't watched them fuck up a character I love. They just made a mediocre one at best
Needless to say, I utterly despise the plot of this game with my entire being.
Thank you for the question, DMC Questions Anon! I'm sorry I went a bit off script, but I hope it was at least entertaining.
#dmc questions anon#U can really tell how much of a DMC 5 bias I have can't u#I also talked a lot about characters and a lot less about plot but#characters are the vehicle for any story to happen#so they need to be engaging for that story to work#thank u once again DMC ? Anon I very much enjoyed ranting today#devil may cry#dmc#dmc dante#dmc 5#devil may cry 5#dante sparda#dmc lady#dmc nero#dmc anime#dmc nico#vergil sparda#dmc v#dmc patty#dmc vergil
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Okay, so, wetlands. I love 'em. I do. There fucking amazing. You know what else they are? Total bad boys. You think they give a damn about our labels? You thought there were only 3, 4, or maybe 6 different types of wetlands, didn't you? Cowards! There are so, so many more. The most popular 4 to introduce are the swamp, bog, marsh, and fen but HOO BOY. That's just where wetlands get started! Most wetlands can't even fit in just one of those categories! I just talked about vernal pools in my first post. Those don't even come close to fitting into any of those four.
Speaking of vernal pools, my first post really only talked about the US. You know why? Vernal pools is really only the accepted vernacular for those types of wetlands IN THE US. Any place in the world that had receding glaciers has a probability of hosting vernal pools, but they'll call them something wildly different! We can't even agree on names for these guys! But I really want to talk about the DEFINITION of wetlands.
Did you know scientists can't even really, truly agree on one solid definition of a wetland? Yeah! They're still debating it! There are some widely accepted definitions, sure, but these wetlands out here are still stumping everyone. And as they keep trying and trying, the definition just keeps getting longer and longer. You know why? Because you can't pin the wetlands, baaabbyyy! They're not gonna let you just slap a label on them like that! They're their own biome! There's so much complexity and so much that goes into being a wetland! You can't just hold them down like that. How dare they even try.
All that to say maybe go give your local wetland some lovin'? I'm sure it could use it. Wetlands are so underappreciated, and they do a lot for us and your local biodiversity. Maybe go check up on it? Say hi? Pick up that wrapper? No, the Snickers wrapper, but that one probably shouldn't be there either. Thanks!
#wetlands#biome#ecosystem#stick it to the man#spread your wings and fly#be your own ecosystem#show the love#science
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You had the motherfucking gall to show up in this conversation and make an "ironic" statement akin to "kill em all and let God sort em out"
fucking disgusting. I hate people like you. Not as much as some other people, but still I hate you just the same
like I said, kill yourself and prove yourself right
were done here, fascist
... Hm, well that's a funny similarity. Once a Nazi called me a filthy Jewish gay man. I said "I don't know what the fuck any of that means."
I just said, I think we should just bomb the entire strip of land that Israel and Palestine were on.
Judgy innit? Isn't it funny how quickly you've assumed that because of what is a kind of shit way to explain the stupidly of Israel.
I'm clearly the bad guy?
Hmmmmmm?
I don't give. A shit about fascism.
And again, with the whole kill yourself.
Boo fucking hoo, I'm more than willing to show my face you filthy Austrian. Filthy traitor, killing your own people and believing your country's own fucking lies instead of thinking for five minutes.
Coward, filthy coward. I hate cowards.
I hate Nazis. I hate fascists. I hate any group who makes people good or bad.
Maybe I'm the really piece of shit. But you're the one escalating this shit. You're the one stating all kinds of fucked up shit.
You're a coward, you filthy rock eating piece of shit useless MOTHERFUCKER.
I don't fucking hide behind anon, I show my beliefs and be a piece of shit human because because that's what I am.
You want me to kill myself for my beliefs. Go right on ahead. See what good it does, killing a filthy dog who's ready to cut down his own kind for the sake of peace.
"And what? They're meant to just take it? Take us burning down homes, slaughtering their people and dragging them out to be sacrificed because we're scared of their power they can control? Go to hell."
-Triage 3, third chapter.
Maybe I am the problem here. But filth who doesn't even have the balls to stare me in the eyes as he spits on my face and tell me to slit my fucking throat and bleed on the floor like an animal.
Well, that's more than enough reason to call someone filth in my books. Because I ain't scared of some pansy who only follows the pansy ideology while...
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