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phantombanquet · 21 days

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Main Story: Diasomnia Book Chapter 8 Episode 7-117: Preparation for Departure! (Translation)

Episode 7-117

⚠️ Major Diasomnia spoilers! Proceed with caution.

translation by: phantombanquet

Idia: MALLEUS-SHI, HUH~~~~!

THIS GRUDGE… SHOULD I LEAVE IT UNSETTLED~~!! ¹

If that happens, that pretentious inexpressive² guy, who usually keeps up his strong chara moves up in his sleeves…..

I can't help but feel sorry for myself if I don't see his pathetic figure sobbing with a runny nose and begging for forgiveness!

Now, what should I do…… Heh… Ehehehehehe!

Ortho: W-What a malicious scheming face…

This… May have angered someone who shouldn't be angered~

Idia: Heheh…… I'll show you. The ultimate power of a lone wolf³ trained in the gloomy “underworld.”

Just you wait, Malleus Draconia……

I'LL GET REVENGE BY SEIZING YOUR SPECIAL WEAKNESS!!!

Ortho: ……That's all.

From the magical disaster caused by Malleus Draconia until the awakening of Idia Shroud. This concludes the progress report.

Grim: Oohh~~! While we were fightin’ over in Lilia's dream, that's what happened to you guys.

Silver: I see. So Idia-senpai and Ortho are outside of the magical realm. It means that there is support coming from the real world.

Idia: Y-Yeah, t-that sort of thing…… Well, for now, we'll be playing a dummy video on the surveillance camera for a short while……

I can only do this much.

Sebek: So, even if you have woken up, Malleus-sama will fail to notice and the “darkness” will not attack you.

Ortho: Yes.. And like I said earlier, Malleus-san is currently……

Focused on putting Lilia Vanrouge-san to sleep.

So, I expect that he has not traced down the whereabouts of Silver-san and the others.

Sebek: Hm. I honestly want to praise your skills, but it is quite complicated when you are outsmarting Malleus-sama……

Idia: Well, that other guy is a battleship-like⁴ cheater so… We're still far off from completely capturing him.

Silver: However… I had no idea that Malleus-sama continued to expand his magical realm beyond the island……

Sebek: Furthermore, if the area is forcibly destroyed from the outside, there is a possibility that the trapped person's psyche could also become destroyed!?

Grim: Somehow it's a real mess for real.

[Choice 1] Yuu: Can we do something about this?

[Choice 2] Yuu: (If this continues on, Tsunotarou will become the enemy of mankind.)

Ortho: Yes. That's why we need your power!

Silver: Our… Power?

Ortho: Currently, the S.T.Y.X. staff is working together to assign ID numbers to the dreams of those trapped in the magical realm.

During that time, we captured your magical reaction as you “moved around on your own” in the dream.

Silver: Could it be that it was my “Meet in a Dream?”

It's my unique magic that allows me to cross between dreams……

Ortho: Yes! That one, that one!

When traces of someone moving from one human dream to another were discovered, the engineers at S.T.Y.X. were in a commotion.

So that was Silver-san's unique magic, after all. Magic is a really mysterious power, huh.

Silver: However, my magic is to reliably travel to the dream of the person I'm targeting after, like you guys. I can't call someone into my dream.

I don’t know what else to say; it's hard to explain… It's a very intuitive kind of magic……

That’s why I was really surprised when Ortho appeared in the Dream Corridor and led us here.

Ortho: What are you saying?

S.T.Y.X. prides themselves on their super computers and experts in magical engineering and magical analysis.

They tried their best to analyze magic and they finally found a way to travel from dream to dream.

Moreover, it is difficult to say that the current method is 100% reproducible so they said: “it's still a beta version.”

The mere fact that you can do it intuitively is astonishing.

Sebek: Hm. So the “power” that you need is Silver's unique magic?

Ortho: That's a part of it, too, but…

Sebek Zigvolt-san, Grim-san, and Yuu-san, your cooperation is essential.

Grim: Hmph! You're just trying to make us do the messy work, aren't ya!

Ortho: Wow♡ Grim-san, you talk too fast.

[Choice 1] Yuu: This pattern is similar to the headmage……

[Choice 2] Yuu: I don't see any other reason to be called out……

Sebek: Hmph, I don't like this sluggishness. Get to the point!!

Idia: S-So, uhhh……. While you guys were chattering in Lilia-shi's dream..

I-I was trying to think of a way to escape from my dream world……

Or rather, I've been trying to come up with a strategy to deal with Malleus-shi.

[Choice 1] Yuu: Is your strategy to get him to cry and beg for forgiveness while his nose is runny?

[Choice 2] Yuu: Is it a strategy to take revenge by capturing their special weakness?

Idia: Y-Yeah. That… Hih, hihi.

Anyhow, I made a video to explain that strategy…… W-Would you like to watch it?

Grim, Silver, Sebek: Video?

Idia: Waah~♪ Only good things have been happening lately~ It's so fun every day~ It's just like a dream~♬ Well. It was, in fact, really just a dream. Welcome, all you carefree people who live in the world of empty dreams. I am Idia Shroud. So for today, a cheat trick to create a dream world using magic — — was used by The Most Evil☆Final Boss Mage. Let me explain the strategy used by Malleus-shi. The magical realm that Malleus-shi created is kinda like a server running a huge MMORPG. And each dream of someone sleeping is managed individually. Malleus-shi is using himself and his alter ego to keep an eye on this server. To give you an idea, Malleus-shi is a server admin. And his alter ego is cracking down on users to commit violations in the online game — like a gamemaster. Malleus-shi, with the authority to operate and manage over the entire server, is currently in the state of a demon king who has the world right under his thumb.

Under Malleus-shi's control, we have NO chance of succeeding…… BUT! Because of the super geek hacker group S.T.Y.X. and Ortho's attack, all of the server's source code (construction formulas of the magical realm) has been analyzed and is now completely visible!

So — I'm going to use that data from my dream to develop and build a cheat tool. And then get rid of that damned invulnerable status! It seems like a perfect strategy at first glance, but in fact, there’s actually a flaw in this cheat strategy……. If Malleus-shi (the server admin) discovers this during development— IT'S GAME OVER IN AN INSTANT. But hold your horses! Despite that his alter ego uses autonomous magic, with the total population of Sage Island, monitoring and managing the dreams of about 20,000 people is not an easy task — even for Malleus-shi. If a problem happens here and there in your dream, there's a high chance that you'll have to deal with it by yourself! Therefore — I’ll be developing a cheat tool. I want you guys to catch Malleus-shi's eye and gather party members so we can subdue the demon king.

When everyone wakes up, we'll hand out invite codes that will allow them to travel to my dream.

Then, when all the preparations are ready, Malleus-shi will be lured to my dream and that's when the cheat tool that I developed turns on!! As planned, Malleus-shi's invulnerability will be canceled. And by using the invite codes that were diligently handed out, everyone will gather in my dream! We're going to beat him up with our sheer numbers of forces!

If things go as expected, Malleus-shi will also lift the spell and free us—! How was it!? “A lone wolf magician engineering guy explains how to capture the demon king in three minutes video.” If you think this video was good, leave a like! And this was Idia Shroud.

Grim, Silver, Sebek: ............

Idia: Ummm, e-everyone… Thank you for your attention. ⁵

Th-that’s why……

I ask you guys to go on a journey to gather “the strongest party members who will take on the challenge of defeating the demon king!”

Grim, Silver, Sebek: EHHHHH~~~!?

TO BE CONTINUED...

translator notes:

¹ - 「この怨はらさでおくべきか」 is an old Kansai (Osaka) dialect phrase. This phrase, although it seems like one will forever hold a grudge, actually means something along the lines of: “Shall I leave this grudge unresolved? (No, I actually have to solve this),” due to how the phrase is structured (which would be too deep to delve into but it’s mainly because of the か and べき/べし in the phrase).

² - 「スカしま」 is a Japanese slang usually used as an insult

³ - 「陰キャ」 is yet another Japanese slang used to describe someone with a gloomy or reserved personality or introverts. I used a known English slang instead of translating literally to preserve the meaning of the word.

⁴ - 「弩級 (どきゅう)」 is the Japanese translation of “Dreadnought,” which is a type of battleship in the early 20th century. Idia was just being a nerd again by using game-like terms so I decided to stick with using “battleship” instead of the literal translation.

⁵ - I wanted to note that Idia addressed them as 「皆様」which is a polite way of addressing others due to the inclusion of 様 (sama). Also, the “thank you for your attention” line was written as 「ご清聴アリガトウゴザイマシタ」 in the text instead of the usual 「ご清聴ありがとうございました」 which I think it's just to note Idia's personality www.

personal notes: this wasn't jp proofread so there might be inaccuracies;;; additionally aniplex jp actually posted the "how to subjugate the demon king" video but it's only available in japan.. you can still access it by using a vpn though~

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst translation #diasomnia #diasomnia chapter 8 #silver twst #sebek zigvolt #idia shroud #ortho shroud #twst grim #twst yuu #diasomnia spoilers #twst spoilers #phantombanquet #phantombanquet twst

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aashi-heartfilia · 10 months

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Ochako's arc in the FINAL saga has been phenomenal and people love to shit on it!!

Ever since the final act began, Ochako has been one of the major game changers!! It all started with ch 306 when Deku left UA. THIS WAS THE START OF THE FINAL SAGA AND WE ALREADY GOT AN EPIC MONOLOGUE FROM OCHAKO ABOUT HEROES, HEROISM...AND THE HERO SOCIETY!

Heroes were being sifted out. If heroes were defined as those people called for, then the heroes disappeared that day. But even so, there were still those standing up.

When asked about "All for One" Endeavour said "I don't know" in order for no stones to be thrown at Deku and All Might.

But if a hero is a figure that never falters then who is for them when they are in pain?

It was such an emotional punch on her face, because the person she considered as a true hero was thrown into an open field full of dangerous villains to fight.

And the next time we see her, she has already grown so much as a person and as a hero.

Despite the odds she convinced the angry civilians to let Deku stay and recover. She understood that even heroes are people and they need help. Her build up as the next All Might starts from here, not in terms of power but in terms of impact she made or she will make on people's hearts.

It gave an answer to her own question, WHO SAVES THE HEROES WHEN THEY ARE IN PAIN?

Even Principal Nezu acknowledged that "Tolerance, lack of understanding, we are just one step away as humanity struggles to make progress. Taking the first step is always hard, but taking a step at a time like this will lead to the birth of a true hero, one that will surpass All Might"

The story clearly tells us to watch Ochako as she becomes the Hero of Heroes, the 'ultimate' hero that will surpass even All Might and yet people sleep over this plot and call her an underdeveloped character.

I know, she wasn't the main focus of the story for the longest time, but ever since Horikoshi started giving her the attention she deserved, her storyline has been superb!!

Her story starts with the realisation that even heroes are normal people that need help and as the society has fallen into chaos, it will need the support from everyone to fix everything.

Both heroes and the civilians will have to cooperate for a better future where they can all smile together but in the same speech, she realised that even people like Toga came in that list. She also deserves to smile and that when her arc of understanding/saving the villains starts.

This arc had been building up in the background for a long time but just in two chapters, Horikoshi actually highlighted the major conflict between the two and I dare say it was done even better than Deku and Shigaraki who had no major build up or tension between them other than their chat at the mall which was like 5 seasons ago.

Now, in the actual battle she held her own against Toga despite being pushed into a corner again and again by Toga's clones, and managed to get her point across.

Even though Toga stabbed her, even though Toga held Tsuyu hostage, even though everything was falling in chaos, she saw the sadness inside of Toga and made it weightless, just like her quirk.

Also, heroes were literally dying with Twice's clones!!! And they were spread to all battlefields!! If it hadn't been for Ochako, maybe the entire Todoroki family, Iida, Hawks and various other heroes would have died!!

This was literally her "I AM HERE!!" moment!!!

After her quirk awakening, after her confrontation with Toga, after saving Tsu, Jirou, Hawks and various other heroes at the GUNGA BATTLEFIELD, people calling Ochako an underdeveloped character will never not be funny to me. Horikoshi even stated it word-to-word for people who were reading this manga with their brains closed...

UNDERUTILISED YES, but UNDERDEVELOPED? NO!! NO!! NO!!

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idkaguyorsomething · 6 months

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Is it weird that I am perfectly fine with Araki giving Jodio a severe mental illness but still wish he had given Jodio a different one?

sorry it took so long to answer this one, i was trying to figure out how exactly to answer it, and it turns out there's a lot of different ways:

from a perspective of representation: mental illness is an incredibly stigmatized subject, and in mediums like manga and comic books even more so, as it is incredibly common for a lot of popular plots in those mediums to go "well, x character went crazy, that's why they're evil", as well as stories in general to associate a lack of empathy with a lack of ability to act in traditionally heroic ways. jjba itself has shown that, as part of dio's initial villainous characterization involves him showing a lack of empathy towards various figures such as dario or george (although this isn't the only way his villainy is characterized, as we're also shown right off the bat that he's very deliberately cruel). with jodio being set up as more of an anti-hero, giving him more traits that could be considered unheroic as well as a commonly stigmatized mental disorder, it makes sense to not have that sit quite right. but taking the history of the series into mind, jojo's is no stranger to exploring more shades of gray in its protagonists in its past. johnny and gappy have certainly committed far greater acts of brutality in their parts, while giorno, who jodio is set up as a parallel to, outright aspires to be a head of organized crime. even josuke, who is portrayed as one of the kindest and most pure-of-heart jojos, basically condemns a guy to a fate worse than death in his first arc. this isn't necessarily anything new the series is giving us, and the fact that the jojolands is largely portrayed from the perspective of jodio himself is a massive plus, as it gives us insight into his thought processes and helps us sympathize with a character we might not have done so otherwise (telling a story from the perspective of someone doesn't necessarily ask us to sympathize with them, but things like the goofy jokes he makes with dragona, his own insight on his diagnosis, and his clear love for his family go a long way towards making jodio likeable). one could view this as the natural progression of jojos tending towards the anti-heroic while araki explores more marginalized communities he's interested in portraying, or a poorly thought out decision that furthers stigma towards said marginalized communities. personally, i think it's still too early in the story to make any real judgements, but the way i see it it's kind of similar to the situation with jolyne. she's the only female jojo, and the only one besides jonathan who ultimately fails in her quest at the end of her part. there are narrative and thematic reasons for doing so, but it doesn't sit right with a lot of people, and that's perfectly fine.

from a medical perspective: according to the dsm 5, a person must fit at least three of the criteria for antisocial personality disorder in order to be diagnosed as having it, most of which jodio does fit. failure to conform to social laws and norms (he's a teenage drug dealer), deceitfulness (when barbara ann asks him where he is and if he's hanging out with paco, he lies), impulsivity (he destroys one of the lava rocks to try and get rohan to cooperate), aggressiveness (he kicks that one fucking cop until he's a stain on the ground, twice, although he is justified in his actions and this kind of willingness to fight people is essentially a requirement to be a jojo), reckless disregard of safety (again, practically a requirement for most main characters), consistent irresponsibility (assuming what we've been shown of him is how he acts all the time, yes, although the story so far takes place over too small of a timeframe to determine that), and lack of remorse (dragona has to remind him not to get too violent in the opening chapter with the cop). so he does fit most of the criteria, but it is also a requirement that, to receive a diagnosis, a person must be eighteen or older, with evidence of having fit some of the criteria before the age of fifteen. so by real world standards, jodio would be on track to being diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder, but actually receiving it from a high school psychologist is bullshit. then again, this is the universe where the president made a cowboy race battle royale where the contestants had to collect magic body parts, so it's entirely possible that psychiatric standards in that world are just different. but you would be entirely justified in not liking his diagnosis, and there are several other disorders that fit the behavior that jodio shows. there's adhd (the impulsivity and tendency to get lost in daydreams and beating the shit out of cops), depression (the sense of emptiness he describes upon being given his diagnosis), anxiety (irritability and angry outbursts), and that's just some of the more common disorders. we haven't even gotten into some other full-on personality disorders or common comorbidities with antisocial personality disorder! from this perspective, your assessment is totally fair.

from a thematic perspective: as mentioned earlier, jojo's is no stranger to making its heroes increasingly reflected in shades of gray, and parts seven and eight especially make a point of contrasting their protagonists with their respective foils from parts one and four. johnny is a paraplegic gringo jockey twink that murders people so hard his friend the executioner had to tell him to slow down, in contrast with the jacked and kindly gentleman jonathan who impressed a stranger so much with his dignity that he immediately joined him in his quest. gappy is a quirky lil amnesiac who beats people to death with shovels while josuke has one of the more normal personalities of all the jojos and possibly the lowest kill count. at first it might seem like giorno and jodio are the most similar duo, since they're both criminals that act a-okay with murder, but while giorno's goals and reasoning for joining the criminal underground are motivated by a sense of empathy towards the people of italy and a belief in a higher ideology that passione can aspire to, jodio is a very self-centered kid. he has a very inflated idea of his own reputation, can't spot obvious traps, and the very first thing we're told about him is that he wants to be stinking rich. he also believes in the ideology of mechanisms, but it's an ideology that is explicitly centered around gain and his own material wealth, in contrast to giorno's philosophy, which involves ideals of self-improvement and certain boundaries that should not be crossed in the pursuit of power. giorno's ruthlessness stems from a place of compassion, so having his counterpart being someone who lacks the ability to feel empathy is a really interesting choice that gives the story a lot of places to go. the fact that the other criteria he fills, like impulsiveness and irresponsibility, stand in direct contrast to giorno's ambition and planning ahead, also adds further potential for the jojolands to explore a completely different sort of crime story than golden wind. so from this perspective, i'd say that your assessment is rather harsh.

tl;dr there's a lot of different angles to approach this question from. it's 90% probably that i completely misunderstood what you were trying to ask, though, so please tell me what i got wrong :P

#this wasn't the question at all but it's also pretty interesting to consider how mental illness is portrayed in previous parts #you've got stuff like doppio and diavolo (and king crimson?) as an evil system #a tired trope that's pretty harmful #but plenty of interpretations of the main jojos themselves have leaned towards neurodivergent readings #johnny and jotaro are super easy to read as having ptsd #there's jotaro and kakyoin and gappy being commonly headcanoned as autistic ofc #joseph and suzi q could be seen as adhd #it could be easy to interpret giorno's behavior as indicative of some kind of disorder #you could probably toss that on the pile of “previous patterns araki is expanding on”#not necessarily something he did on purpose but something he decided to explore in more depth eventually #hoo boy this is probably the longest thing i've made in a while #jjba #jjba part 9 #jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo no kimyou na bouken #jodio joestar #hirohiko araki #the jojolands #jojolands #antisocial personality disorder #mental illness #mental health #dsm 5 #anyone with any other interpretations experiences or angles to add to this please do #i'm not a psychologist and i don't have aspd so please take all this with a grain of salt #why did i spend so much time writing this

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redrobin-detective · 1 year

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Iruma-kun, the Six Fingers and Humanity

I have been mulling over this idea for days as I devoured the Iruma-kun anime then manga and am still struggling to articulate it. The best I can boil down to is the whole goal of the Six Fingers and the return to origins is, unbeknownst to them, a desire to become more human.

I can understand, in a way, their frustration. Demons used to be merciless killers, where the strong surpassed the weak and magic, aggression and power won the day. Now we see they have idol concerts and theme parks and silly games to help demons safely purge their “wickedness” which is, in reality just another part of their nature. The majority of modern day demons deny a large part of themselves. The whole idea of a wicked cycle is endlessly fascinating to me, like this species has compartmentalized themselves so much that their pent up darker impulses periodically spring out and require them to be handled gently or hidden away. I can see how this practice is insulting and incredibly restrictive of what a demon is.

Now, right from the start, Iruma has stood out in the demon world for a few reasons. First and most obviously, he lacks any practical or cultural knowledge of demonic society. We see Iruma ignorantly stride past social norms and boundaries he didn’t even know existed. If it weren’t for his upbeat, people pleasing attitude he’d be written off as a delinquent but instead he helps foster an environment of change in a bunch of slackers and misguided students. And change is a radical concept in a society that hasn’t replaced the demon king in centuries since the old one disappeared. The effect of Iruma’s very presence, his enthusiasm and attitude and cooperative abilities can be seen so strongly on the Misfit class that its no wonder he’s become such a stand out student.

So I had heard of Irumean when I first started the series and had high expectations of him being a full on bastard. And he simply wasn’t. He was arrogant, reckless, rude at the worst but even those around him commented that his innate, unnatural kindness was still there. I argue because Irumean was never a true wicked cycle. It was Ali-san’s attempt to induce a demonic ritual onto him. But humans aren’t like demons, Iruma is a good, kind, patient boy due to his trauma and strength of character. At any point he could lash out in the most horrific fashion and leave everyone stunned because he is not bound such such strict rules of personality and conduct. His humanity is as much a strength as it is a weakness.

So according to recent chapters, Iruma has traces of Delkira’s energy. My first thought was that it was emanating from Ali-san, which is a distinct possibility but why was the ring attracted to Iruma in the first place? My next theory is that Delkira had some connection to humans as well. Either he’s a hafling or a demonized human or spent a significant amount of time in the human world. Either way, this human perspective is what made him so powerful, such an irreplaceable leader that his throne has remained empty for so long. One could even argue that the energy that the Six Fingers identify as ‘Delkira’ is actually just ‘human’ since the King’s energy is familiar while a human’s is not.

My whole round about point I’m doing a very poor job of explaining essentially boils down to, demons want to return to their origins to have more control over their baser instincts. Instincts and free will that humans, such as Iruma, possess naturally. But while Iruma has the capability for great evil, unrestrained by a set cycle, he also has such an overflowing well of love in him. Delkira, what little we’ve seen of him comes across as brash, fickle and cruel. You may note those are human traits as well. But Iruma also leads with kindness, dedication and teamwork. He will make a marvelous King because the humanity he brings to the table will help all of demonkind.

I do believe as the manga progresses we will see Iruma’s humanity become a game changer in the battle against the Six Fingers. How he sees the world (both human and demon), how he interacts and inspires others, how he fights. Reaching a point where not only does Iruma stand up for himself but he is forced to cause harm (and by consequence addressing his people pleasing trauma) and behave in a manner not seen by demons outside of their wicked cycle. When he does, years down the road, become King, I believe he will address the concerns of factions like the Six Fingers. Demons are not meant to be fully contained but cannot be allowed to run rampant. With his feet in both worlds, I believe he will be able to balance both opposing views and ‘heal’ the underworld as the prophecy states. Not just from the instability of the Six Fingers but from this bizarre evolutionary cycle demons have fallen into over the centuries.

#mairimashita! iruma kun #welcome to demon school iruma kun #iruma kun spoilers #not sure how to tag this??#the wicked cycle is fascinating to me #so youre saying i can compile all my bitchy evil energy into a few day cycle??#its absolutely insane if you think about it #and Yes wtds is a lovely lighthearted series that I adore but sometimes I think 'gosh this is tame for hell'#and i argue that its not supposed to be like this!#how they got stuck in this cycle is up for debate if it pre or post dates Delkira #the point remains that Iruma can and absolutely should go feral at some point #bc he is a human and his personality and actions are managed only by himself #I want all his people pleasing meek adorableness to backfire on him and we see a hint of the rage beneath #I want him to maim even kill in a rage bc the indignities done to him have been simmering for years and now someone is threatening his new h #*home #The six fingers want him bc of delkira yeah but also his ability to transcend the limits of being a modern demon #something something humans are the true demons the latter having managed themselves so tightly they no longer resemble demons of old #that Iruma even as good and pure as he is is still more alike Delkira than any modern demon #Ive kind of lost the bubble on this but things Ive been thinking about #Im all caught up and I feel Extreme Stress over the Diverticulum #i cant wait!

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7-wonders · 10 months

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Interlude: Michael

Summary: Where does Michael go after he storms out on you?

Word Count: 2.1k

A/N: Mad Love, from Michael's POV! Very excited about this chapter, as this is what gets us into the main action of part II. Prepare for your hearts to be broken, friends. Multiple times.

Mad Love Masterlist

Michael Langdon sits behind the wheel of a very expensive car, the brand of which he couldn’t care less about, and weaves in and out of traffic as though the laws don’t apply to him. They don’t, really; if an officer were to pull him over, it’s a simple mind trick to get out of any trouble.

He’s furious in a way that he can’t ever remember being, more furious even when the coven killed Ms. Mead. This is made even worse considering the source of his ire is you. You, whom he never expected to betray him in such a manner. And it is, of course, a betrayal.

Though you not being Satan’s perfect bride hasn’t bothered Michael for a while, he had at least assumed that you would support him in situations where he needed spousal support. After all, that’s what married couples were supposed to do, right? And Michael has always supported you with what you wanted to do. School, and social activities, and potential post-graduate moves. In his mind, it was a no-brainer that you would be behind him now as he embarked on what he was meant to do.

Yet, you looked so hurt when he told you that the plans for apocalypse were progressing as scheduled, just as hurt as he had felt when he found out you didn’t support him, in fact, and he doesn’t quite understand why. Of course, he understands certain aspects of the plan might be upsetting. Your parents' perishing will surely be a tough loss, and Michael himself will be sad about it as well. As you said, they’ve treated him with such kindness since the day that they met him. Couples are meant to share those burdens together, and Michael will be there for you while you mourn.

But for you to flat-out say that you won’t support Michael as he fulfills his destiny? It makes no sense. Just as he had gotten over believing you were anything that Satan had told him he would have, he thought that you had gotten over the very same things that had originally held you back from being in a relationship with him. After all, you had even taken the huge step of coming with him to meet with the Cooperative. You had played the part of dutiful wife, of the future queen of Michael’s kingdom, and you had played it well. What had changed, to make you so fearful of what was to come?

Michael is so wrapped up in his thoughts, in his anger and confusion and hurt, that he doesn’t realize where he’s driving to until he’s pulled up outside of the front gates of the Murder House, of all places. Though he didn’t have plans to come here, and he’s still a little unsure why his subconscious gave himself these directions, the more that he thinks about this unexpected destination, the more he realizes that it’s actually a perfect stop.

He wants the family that spurned him to be aware of their true mortality, their final death, and be unable to do anything about it. Because when the bombs dropped, they would wipe the house off the face of the Earth, down to its very foundations. Bye bye, Murder House.

The front door swings open with a wave of his hand, welcoming him to the home he wanted so desperately to belong to when he was younger. It’s just the same as the last time he was here (with you, his brain reminds him), a sign that the ghosts’ attempts to keep living families from moving in was still working. Michael’s footsteps echo through the foyer, and he smiles. All he has to do is wait.

Waiting takes approximately 30 seconds.

“Now, what in the hell are you doin’ here?”

Constance Langdon appears right in front of him, wearing an ugly printed dress and with her hair perfectly coiffed into a beehive. Her accessories are the same as always–a glass of whiskey and a cigarette, both perched in one hand. Oh, this day just keeps getting better and better.

“Thought I would give you a heads up,” Michael says, barely hiding his glee. “The house that you wanted for so long? The one that you killed countless people for? The one that you killed yourself for? It’ll be ashes in a couple weeks. No, it’ll be less than ashes. It’ll be fucking pulverized to nothing.”

“What are you talking about, boy?”

“The world is ending, Constance, and at my hand.”

“Bullshit,” she spits.

Michael smirks and continues. “Figured I’d see the house that everyone cared so fucking much about one last time.”

“And just how are you going to go about bringing the apocalypse?” It’s obvious that she still doesn’t believe him; ironic, considering she was the first to see his true nature.

“Nuclear weapons, of course.”

Constance’s face takes on a sickly pallor in an impressively short amount of time, and she shakes her head. “You’re a liar, Michael, and you always have been. Nasty little habit, one I should’ve beat out of you when I had the chance.”

Michael’s good mood sours. “Why do you constantly underestimate myself and my resources?”

“I don’t,” somebody scoffs from above. Michael looks up, and smiles meanly when he sees a mop of blond hair.

“Daddy dearest!” he croons. “How honored I am, to be in your presence.”

Tate rolls his eyes and flips Michael off, which Michael gladly accepts. Tate stomps down the stairs, shoulder checking his son on the way before he comes to stand next to his mom. “We saw him spirited away by some secret organization after they made him eat a virgin’s heart, Ma, is it really that surprising that there’s some secret world order that Satan’s left him in charge of?”

Michael nods proudly. “Finally, somebody smart.”

“Alright then,” Constance throws back the rest of her whiskey, “say you’re telling the truth. Why come here? You’ll find no loyal followers among us.”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Michael thinks that it is. “I want you all to suffer. I want you to know that the end is coming, the true end, and that there’s nothing you can do about it.”

“What makes you think that we won’t welcome the sweet release of a true death?”

“A few might,” Michael admits. “Nora, perhaps, and the nurses. But you? Tate, the Harmons? No, you’ve seen your death as a second life. And now, that’s finally going to come to an end.”

“Is it?”

Another person has joined the party, and Michael sighs before turning around, fully expecting to see his half-sister. Imagine his surprise when he comes face to face with the Supreme herself.

“Mallory,” he greets tersely.

Of course the witch would be here in some sort of noble attempt to convince Michael not to end the world. At this point, her antics are tiring. Though, now that he thinks about it, when haven’t they been tiring? Mallory, specifically, has been a thorn in his side since the day she showed up at his front door and revealed that she was a part of the sinister plot to take you from him. Right now, he’s almost wishing that he hadn’t extended an offer of goodwill to her for rectifying her mistakes.

Mallory smiles, but he can find no kindness behind it. “Michael.”

“How did you find me?”

“You know as well as I do that tracking spells are child’s play.”

While that’s true, there’s a reason why she chose now to track Michael. “Y/n called you, didn’t she?”

Mallory nods, not even bothering to push back. “You know I’m going to say the same thing she did.”

“I do, and you know what I’m going to say.”

“I do,” she parrots. “You’re going to regret this, you know.”

“You know what? I don’t think I will. In fact, I think I’m going to enjoy this very much.”

“I’d like to make you an offer.”

“And what offer is that?” Michael asks dryly.

“Don’t end the world in the way that you’re planning, and you will have the coven’s complete support in another, less costly method of taking over the world.”

“I’m not hearing anything tempting here.”

“The sisterhood runs deep, especially these days. With our numbers and magic, we could easily help you with any sort of takeover.” She smirks. “You need all the allies you can get, especially considering your shortsighted move with killing all of the warlocks.”

“You should take it,” Constance says behind him. “Don’t you want to rule over a world full of people? People that are happy, and healthy, and eager to embrace you as their leader?”

This…actually has some logic in it, and Michael hates that it does. Hates that the moment he comes back to the home of his birth, he starts to second guess himself.

He needs to remain strong. He takes a step back, so he can look at both Constance and Mallory. “No. The apocalypse will proceed as planned, and that’s the end of the discussion.”

“Can I ask you something?” Michael wants to say that Mallory just asked him a question, but instead he motions for her to continue. “Why? With everything that you have going for you, with the future that you could have, why are you still deciding to end the world?”

“Because the future that I will have when I’ve fulfilled my birthright and rule as king of the new world, a world cleansed and rebuilt in my father’s image, is going to be miles better than any future where apocalypse isn’t the solution.”

She smiles. “So you think. End the world, then. When you regret it, which you will, remember that I’m the only one who can help you.”

Who does she think she is? To be offering her help to the Antichrist, as though he would ever need such a thing. He hisses out between his teeth, “Get out of my sight before I kill you.”

“Pssh, I’d like to see you try.”

She’s calling his bluff, which only serves to make Michael more angry. Of course he won’t kill her today; not only would he not want a dead Supreme for incite the ghosts of the Murder House into some sort of uprising that might thwart his plans, but he also would like to give you less reasons to be angry with him at a time when he’s trying desperately to keep you on his side.

“The only reason you’re alive right now is because of my wife, and even that goodwill is beginning to wear thin.” He takes a step closer until their chests are almost touching. “Leave.”

“Alright,” Mallory acquiesces. “See you soon, then.”

She disappears. It’s silent for a moment, then Constance lets out a loud laugh (Michael only jumps a little at the harsh sound, and he blames it on childhood trauma).

“That little witch is going to tear you to shreds,” she declares triumphantly.

Michael glowers and fires back, “I’m almost tempted to change my apocalypse day plans to include a diversion here. I would take great pleasure in watching your soul be sent to Hell once and for all.”

Tate pushes his mother behind him protectively. “Don’t talk to her like that, asshole. Get out of here.”

“Oh, don’t act like you have such a loving mother-son relationship,” Michael allows himself to spit angrily before calming himself once more. “But I suppose you’re right. I should be going. Lots of last-minute planning to get done before the bombs drop, after all.”

“Go to Hell!” Tate says.

“I’ll see you all there, but until then, enjoy what little time you have left.”

Michael smiles smugly at all of the ghosts that have come out of their hiding spots to watch today’s entertainment, and he gives them a friendly wave. His eyes linger on the Harmons, who stand in the doorway of Ben’s old office. Said former psychiatrist has his arms wrapped around his wife, who carries their son, and his daughter. Despite trying his hardest to push away that need, he still feels a pang of longing. How badly he wanted Ben to hold him like that. What he would have given to even have Vivien look at him in a way that conveyed love.

Now, he knows the truth. He doesn’t need them. He’s never needed them; if anything, having a traditional family would have only held him back from what is his to claim. The world is going to end by his hand, and Michael Langdon will rule what is strong enough to remain, as is his birthright.

Just the way that it's been planned for centuries.

Tag list: @thatonehumanbeing05 @michaellangdon @xavierplympton @hecohansen31 @blakescoven @wroteclassicaly @we-did-it-joe @codycrazy @love-on-the-murder-scene @michaellangdonswhore @nsainmoonchild @langdonsjoyy @aftertheglitterfades @ferndolan @iamlivingforturner @moonlike333 @narwhal-swimmingintheocean @angiestopit @littleangel4996 @xo-angel-ox @ajokeformur-ray

#michael langdon #michael langdon imagine #michael langdon x reader #american horror story #ahs imagine #american horror story imagine #ahs #michael langdon imagines #mad love musings

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nickfowlerrr · 2 years

Text

pretty when you cry - chapter one

series masterlist / chapter two

*originally posted to @bellareadsandrecs on 01/24/22*

pairing: dark!biker!bucky x curvy!reader (dark!soulmate au)

warnings: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat. body insecurities, assault, mentions of humiliation, panic attacks, and anxiety. future chapters will contain noncon/dubcon smut. 18+ ONLY.

words: 2.7k

notes: i always do my best to tag appropriately, but if you find i’m missing anything, please do not hesitate to let me know! i’m really looking forward to working on this series. i hope you all enjoy! as usual, feedback is always appreciated. let me know if you’re enjoying it! 💘

This is a DARK series!!! Please proceed with abundant caution.

Present day

“Having to get new tires really screwed me this month,” you complained to Eva while you wiped down the table you just cleared near the back of the diner, putting the five dollar bill that the couple you had served left for you into your apron pocket. “I asked Jack if I could pick up an extra shift and he said the best he could do was offer me a double on Saturday,”

“Are you gonna take it?” Eva asked with a hint of worry.

“I don’t really have much of a choice. I need to make sure I have enough for rent. I figure I’ll just stay behind the bar all night, ya know. Keep my head down and eyes on the drinks,” you say with a deep exhale.

“Hm. Ya know, I could come by when you’re working, keep you company,” she offered.

“No, please,” you brushed her off. “Don’t worry about me. Enjoy your Saturday, it’s like your only real day off,” you reminded her. “It’s one night. And those guys haven’t been seen around here in months, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

“Those guys aren’t the only people in town who frequent that bar you need to worry about,” she chided you. “You never know with these biker gangs. They like to cause trouble. Like messing with people for the fun of it. It’s sick. Did you hear what they did to Deven Cooper last week? The poor guy was buying groceries for his mom when they cornered him in the parking lot. Took his money and the damn groceries. For no good reason. Just saw an easy target and decided to have some fun,” she ranted with a huff. “Just please promise me you’ll be careful. Your attitude always comes out at the worst times,”

“Ugh, I do not have an attitude, thank you,”

“Uh huh,” she rolled her eyes as she walked to the front of the diner to greet a family who walked in for lunch. “Go on, get out of here, you’re gonna be late for your shift at the bar.”

“Thanks, Eva. I’ll call you tomorrow!” You shouted as you exited through the kitchen.

Your Friday shift passed fairly quickly and without issue as usual. You spent that night watching tv while eating the last frozen meal you had in the freezer. You really needed to go shopping but you’d have to wait until Sunday once you got paid and sent your rent to your landlord.

Saturday came and you woke up later than usual. Your shift was normally 1pm-7pm but because you were pulling a double today, you’d be at the bar until close. You got up and got ready for work. Once you were done getting dressed and doing your hair and makeup, you made your way to the kitchen where you got yourself a bowl of cereal and then grabbed your last two granola bars and your water bottle. You headed to the bar and arrived right on time.

The day shift passed as it normally did, your regulars coming in and then leaving at their usual time. Once 8pm hit, you immediately felt the atmosphere change. People were a little rowdier and drinking a little harder. It progressed like that as the night went on but you were thankful that the town’s newest biker club had yet to make an appearance. 11pm came around and the bar was flooded with college students partying with their friends, and that was definitely something you could handle. You relaxed a bit as 12am rolled around but that relaxation quickly turned to anxiety as you heard the roar of motors outside. The college students started making their way out and the bikers started making their way in.

Jack was serving tables tonight which you were very grateful for. When the men had first come in they made a beeline for what you assumed was their usual spot. Each of them was bigger and burlier than the last, but each intimidating all the same. They filled the tables and Jack greeted them and took their order. All you really had to do was fill it and get it ready for Jack to take over to them. They were loud, but after some time passed with them keeping to their little section and minding their own, you began to relax once more. It was almost 1:30am when a tall man with dark blonde hair and a thick beard approached you at the bar. He had come from the area you had been trying to avoid and the way he was looking at you made your skin crawl.

“Hey there. Haven’t seen you around before, doll. You new here?” He asked as he looked you up and down.

“Mh, no,” you muttered as you fiddled with the shot glasses in front of you. “Usually don’t work nights but I needed an extra shift.” It took everything you could muster to look up and make eye contact with him. His eyes were beautiful, you couldn’t deny that, but the look in them was dark. Everything about him was intimidating and unnerving, especially that smirk he wore that grew even bigger as you spoke.

“I’m Steve, and you know honey, if you’re having money trouble I’d be happy to help you out. I’m sure I can think of a few ways you could repay me,” he spoke slyly.

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes at his implications - Eva’s comment about your attitude ringing in your ears. You opted instead to turn and walk away but Steve grabbed your wrist from across the bar and held you with a tight grip.

“Where do you think you’re going? You think you can just walk away from me while I’m talking to you?” He growled, any charm he previously had now completely gone.

His grip hurt as you tried to free yourself from him, “I have a job to do, let me go,” you seethed although you felt like whimpering.

Just then you heard a lot of the noise around the bar settle and quiet and you turned to see what the cause was. You felt like you were in a movie scene, it was almost funny. Near the entrance stood another tall man, his presence as menacing as the other’s with piercing blue eyes which seemed to find yours almost immediately, knocking the breath from your lungs. There was something about him that seemed.. Familiar? But that couldn’t be. You’d recognize him if you’d ever met him before, even just saw him in passing, you were sure of it. You felt locked in a trance. His presence, though he wasn’t even very close to you yet, had captivated you entirely in the short few seconds that had passed since he entered. His eyes were narrowed as he looked over you and Steve at the bar. All at once Steve let you go with a shove and you fell back against the bar with a sharp gasp. Steve turned around and pushed away from the bar, “Well look who it is. Nice of you to finally join us, Buck,” he smiled at the man now approaching while the other men all seemed to cheer, “Bucky!” in drunken unison.

Steve moved to walk back toward their table with him and as Bucky passed you, though you kept your head down, you could feel his penetrating gaze on you. You weren’t sure what it was, you couldn’t figure out why this man was looking at you the way he was. You felt hot and exposed. You tried to push the feeling of unease down but as you turned to look back at them, your eyes met Bucky’s once more before you quickly turned away and went back to serving the people along the bar and cleaning glasses.

The rest of the night passed quickly and thankfully you didn’t have any more trouble, though you felt someone’s eyes on you every so often - you forced yourself to ignore it and not look to who it was, though you were sure you could guess. Jack told you you were good to go twenty minutes after the last call.

“I can close up here, you go ahead and head home,” he said to you as you were wiping clean the counter from the mess of spilled whiskey. He didn’t say anything directly, but he did know why you already hated working nights and you could tell he felt bad about the way Steve had grabbed you.

You didn’t argue, eager to get out of there. You said goodbye and went to head out. As you were heading to the door, you saw a group of men, including Steve, starting to leave as well. You waited for them to pass while you stood behind the counter pretending to still be busy so as to not draw attention to yourself. You looked around and saw Jack and Bucky talking with a couple other guys, but were more focused on getting home and going to sleep rather than trying to figure out what the conversation was about. It looked secretive and it obviously was none of your business. You walked out from behind the bar, heading to the entrance and went outside, praying that the men you were trying to avoid had left already so you wouldn’t have to walk past them. Unfortunately, they were still there around their bikes, clearly waiting for the rest of their pals.

You kept your eyes forward and decided to ignore them as you headed toward the parking lot on the left side of the building. As you passed Steve, who was near the end of the line of bikes, he stuck his foot out and tripped you. You gasped and tried to catch yourself but before you realized what you were doing, you were falling against the bike next to his at the very end of the line. It went eerily quiet as you tried to pick yourself up and hold back your quickly forming tears of embarrassment. It wasn’t until you turned around that you were met with the dark glare of who you were sure you could now safely assume was the leader of their club. And he looked pissed. Beside him, you saw a smirking Steve, and behind him, you saw the rest of the bikers staring at you as well. Some seemed concerned and some seemed amused while the rest of them seemed annoyed.

Before you had a chance to say anything, Bucky stepped closer to you and got in your face growling, “Do you have any idea what the fuck you just did?”

“I fell,” you breathed harshly. “No- actually I was tripped,” you continued, sounding almost as angry as he did as you glared over to Steve.

“Bucky, come on man, she obviously didn’t do it on purpose,” you were thankful for the voice of reason that you recognized as Sam. He had come up to the bar a while after Steve and asked for just a water. He introduced himself and quietly apologized for the way his friend had grabbed you. You were still weary of him, considering the company he seemed to keep, but he had seemed nice enough.

“Mind your business, Sam. Little miss priss here could use a lesson in manners as it stands,” came Steve.

“Shut the fuck up, both of you,” Bucky spoke, his eyes never leaving yours. “Looks like you’ve got yourself into some trouble here, sweetheart. You put your hands on my bike -,”

“I-” you tried to cut in, but he quickly shut you down with a raised hand, sharp tilt of his head and the slight narrowing of his eyes as he moved in closer to you - causing your breathing to become deeper and slightly more erratic.

“Ah ah. You laid hands on my property and unless I’m fucking you, that’s just not something I can let slide. Accident or not. I have an example to set,” he spoke threateningly as he continued to loom over you.

Suddenly sirens sounded as a patrol car pulled up beside the bikes and the officer rolled his window down as he inched up to where you and Bucky stood.

You obviously looked scared out of your mind as you turned to look at the officer.

He regarded you before looking to the man standing inches away from your face, “Is uh- is there a problem here, Bucky?”

Shit. Of course they knew each other.

“Not at all, Frank. My guys were just heading out. And I was just helping this one here - making sure she gets home safely. You never know what kind of shady people are out here at night, you know.”

The officer looked from Bucky to you and then back again.

“I don’t need anymore trouble from you or your guys tonight, got it Barnes.”

Bucky just smirked and then called behind him, “You heard him, fellas. No more trouble tonight. Head back. I’ll meet you all there.”

Your previous irritation was now completely replaced with unnerving fear. First you heard the roar of engines coming to life and saw the men leaving one after another, Steve was the last to ride out, all the while his eyes were trained on you and then you watched as Bucky saluted the officer with a wicked grin as the car drove off.

“Just you and me, now,” He spoke as he leaned in once again. “I’ve calmed down a little, so I’m gonna let you off easy this time, sweetheart.”

You felt a wave of relief crash over you at his words and in the same exact instant, a small smirk played on his lips as his rigged posture seemed to relax. You had no idea what kind of example he would have set with you or what you would have been in store for but you were glad you wouldn’t be finding out. And you’d be sure to never cross paths with any of these men again. Especially Bucky. Just being this close to him made you feel completely vulnerable, like you were at his mercy - and that certainly seemed to be true. It was like he had some sort of hold on you that you couldn’t shake. From the moment he stepped into the bar you could feel it. Some sort of tugging that kept your mind going back to him. You couldn’t quite name it though. You weren’t sure you wanted to.

You slowly backed away from him. You parted your lips to speak but you had no idea what to say. You stood there gawking like an idiot for a second before you spun around and walked as fast as your little legs would take you to your car. You got in, started it, and immediately locked your doors as you took a second to gather yourself.

The previous humiliation you felt at the hands, or feet, rather, of Steve suddenly came back to you along with the fear that was still shaking you from Bucky’s threats. Tears stung your eyes as you imagined in your mind’s eye what those men saw. Haha. It must have been very funny to see the silly little chubby girl get tripped and fall over into a fucking motorcycle. Bucky’s motorcycle. Steve knew exactly what he was doing, of course he did. Your mind then decided to torture you more as the events of two years ago played in your head and the roar of laughter from the town’s previous menaces sounded in your ears. You were always a joke to men. You were pretty enough, sure. But you’d heard enough mean jokes and comments thrown your way to know that your body was less than desirable. You weren’t someone that anyone would ever walk up to and ask for your number out of the blue. The romances you saw in movies and read about in books certainly weren’t destined for you. You were quiet and unassuming. Short and chubby.

“You’re pretty but your face can’t make up for all that,” you heard Brock’s words loud and clear as the day he had said them to your face. You were so upset and distracted by your thoughts that you didn’t even notice the motorcycle following you as you pulled out of the parking lot and onto the street as you headed home.

#dark!bucky x reader #dark!bucky #dark!bucky barnes #dark!bucky barnes x reader #dark!biker bucky #dark!bucky x curvy!reader #dark!bucky x plus size!reader #dark!bucky x chubby!reader #dark!biker!bucky #dark bucky #tw noncon #tw dubcon #pwyc series

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deepdowninmybones · 8 months

Text

CtM Fanfic Everything is just as ought to be

(let's keep going with the old-fashioned copy and paste)

Chapter 2 - Mother's love

Early october - 10 weeks

Two weeks had passed since the news and the progress of the pregnancy brought with it a whole series of symptoms that were physically exhausting her.

For this reason she had not objected in the slightest when Patrick had suggested to slow down her activities. The house and three school-age children were enough to exhaust the energy she had at her disposal at that moment, even if he had immediately taken on the most tiring tasks…including taking the children to school, a moment of the day that could turn into a real challenge when Teddy wasn't particularly cooperative.

The very beginning of the school had proven to be the perfect excuse to give Mrs. Higgins to tell her that Mrs. Turner needed a break. The secretary hadn't asked any questions and had immediately taken steps to reorganize the shifts without her. Incredibly, Dr. Turner's request to postpone the start of morning appointments by an hour and to schedule a rotation of substitutes for the weekends had also been granted without comment.

No one was aware of the news and for now it was something they wanted to experience exclusively among themselves. The children were too young to ask the reason for those changes in their routine and fortunately the only one who would have needed less than five minutes to understand what was going on was Timothy, who however had returned to Medical School in Edinburgh.

Even though the days at Turner house were long and often chaotic, they knew that once their children were tucked in, the house and the entire world became a space just for them. They spent the evenings lying on the sofa, entwined in their favorite position, caressing each other gently, sharing thoughts and worries or simply silences… A lot of silences lately, because they knew well that it's often in silence that we learn to understand each other.

Patrick was her guiding light, his presence helped her to slow down the fluctuating whirlwind of emotions that hit her: a continuous transition from moments of uncontainable joy to others in which the feeling of not being able to face this situation threw her into absolute desperation. Damn hormones.

That morning she was sitting at the kitchen table where she was trying to fold the laundry she had just picked up, but the strong smell of detergent (which usually put her in a good mood) wasn't making her life easy. After yet another trip to the bathroom, just as she was about to sit down again, the doorbell rang.

"Sister Julienne! What are you doing around here? Did something happen?"

"Does something have to happen for me to come visit you at home?"

"Oh, of course not…Please, come in!"

Confused by the unexpected visit, Shelagh at first appeared unsure about what to do. Sister Julienne knew her very well and, understanding that something was troubling her, found a way to break the ice and get straight to the point of her visit.

"I met Dr. Turner with the kids this morning. Angela told me you were home because you still have a tummy ache. I was nearby and stopped by to see if you needed anything."

When she previously heard Angela pronounce those specific words "belly ache" an alarm rang in her head. The maternal instinct is not something that necessarily comes from being someone's biological mother. Sister Julienne was firmly convinced of this.

"Thanks for the thought, I appreciate it very much…but I feel much better! Patrick always worries too much and then makes the children alarmed too. I'm just a little tired, with the kids going back to school and everything. Come, let's sit on the sofa. I just made some tea!"

"It seems like an excellent idea to me"

Sister Julienne sat down on the settee, shortly followed by Shelagh with the two cups of tea in hand. Sitting next to each other, they sipped the liquid in silence.

Beside Patrick, Sister Julienne was the person who knew her best, who she trusted more, and who she felt incredibly loved by. Having lost her mother as a child, she didn't know much about what that meant to be a daughter, but in her mind it had to be something very similar to what she felt towards Sister Julienne. She was grateful to have her in her life and having her by her side right now made her feel loved and protected. As she thought this, she felt a new explosion of emotions rise in her heart, in her eyes… and the tears fell again.

Sister Julienne took the cup of tea from her hand, placing it on the table. She wrapped her arms around her, giving her time to find the words.

"My darling Shelagh, do you mind telling me what's going on with you? Are there any problems with Patrick? With the children?" she gently asked, taking her hands protectively in hers.

"I…I'm pregnant." she confessed.

"Oh dear!" she sighed. "How long are you?"

"We're not sure honestly. My cycle has always been irregular and the possible moments of conceiving are… let's say…they are not useful in tracing back to a precise date"

"I understand…"

"Based on the calculations we made, I should be at the tenth week…but for now we are based on the symptoms"

"And how did you take the news, if I may ask?"

"Oh Sister Julienne…it was a shock! I don't need to remind you how old I am, or how old Patrick is. With all the difficulties we had, the idea of being able to get pregnant was truly something totally unimaginable. We never thought we would have to take precautions…"

"…but the Lord works in surprising ways sometimes, doesn't he?"

"Yeah…I'd say so. Patrick is over the moon, even if he tries to moderate his enthusiasm in front of me, I know he's totally excited. You know, one night, when we weren't yet certain of the pregnancy, I told him that I didn't want another child, I really mean it. I didn't want it! …but if it had come I would have loved it just like the others."

"And now? Do you want it?"

"Of course yes! I already love him as much as the other four! Now it's here… and it seems clear to me since I'm spending more time in the bathroom than in any other room. I've been living with the taste of metal for two months as had already happened when I was expecting Teddy, my breasts are swollen and sore… And I feel nauseous and dizzy…" and with a voice broken by tears, she added "…and I have constant mood swings!"

Sister Julienne smiled at her and took her hand "What really scares you, Shelagh?"

"What? Well…" she hesitated for a moment, then the words took shape by themselves and she continued saying "I'm terrified of experiencing a new pregnancy like my first one. I'm afraid of losing this baby. I'm afraid of disappointing Patrick! I'm afraid of what might happen if…"

She had finally said it! In that tick, she realized that she had managed to give a name to her anxieties. It was not the "not being enough" thing, not the "house being too small", not their age… but the fear of losing or not being able to experience that happiness.

"Do you remember the words of Isaiah? 'Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go'."

Shelagh nodded.

"Well. And know that I'll be there too." she said, holding her close.

"I know, you are always there and you have always been there when I needed you." answered almost whining like a child.

"Oh Shelagh, let me confess to you something. At this point in my life, I sometimes found myself thinking about the choice I made. What have I given up to be a nun? Could I have a family? Could I have children? You know…I lose my self thinking about what kind of mother I would be, what it would be like. And then you came to my mind. It took me a while to understand that your image was the Almighty's way of answering my questions: showing that becoming a nun didn't make me give up anything… You, your children… your family. You are my most precious gift. My religious life was the way to find you, the way I was allowed to feel you like a daughter and to experience motherhood even without having birthed you!"

Shelagh kept hearing the echoes of those words: feeling like a daughter, feeling her like a mother… Finally they had been pronounced in some way, no matter if implicitly, they were still real and shared.

Sister Julienne wiped away a tear, then smiled and looked Shelagh deeply in the eyes continuing to say:

"Look at you Shelagh! Look what you and Patrick have built together! You sowed love and managed to make life sprout even when they told you it would be impossible to do so! You never gave up, you put love at the center of your family: you raised Timothy as your own son, welcomed Angela and then, against all diagnoses, Teddy arrived. You met little May along your path and you opened the door of your home for her, your family, your hearts. You will be able to do it for this creature too, it will be here before you know it… trust in the Lord, have faith and everything will be for the best."

With tears streaming down her eyes, Shelagh could only nod. She needed those words, she needed Sister Julienne's presence to understand her feelings. Maybe she needed to be called daughter and hearing Sister Julienne refer to herself as her mother to have faith in the unachievable.

Later that night, when the front door opened and Patrick entered the house, he only had to meet Shelagh's eyes and see her smile to understand that something had changed.

She was home, his girl was back.

#ctm fanfic #turnadette #shelagh turner #patrick turner #shulienne

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senlinyu · 1 year

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What was it about Draco that drew you to this character in the first place? I'm just curious because jk Rowling certainly did not portray him in a positive light.

I'm actually one of those horrible people who started shipping dramione before reading the books or even watching the movies. As I've mentioned before, I was raised ultra-conservative and I wasn't allowed to read Harry Potter, but I was inexplicably obsessed with understanding it because as a twelve year old, I felt intensely perceived by the concept of Hermione Granger.

So I found my way around my parent's internet filters and read the entire HP lexicon, and basically constructed an understanding of the HP universe backwards starting with worldbuilding, then characters, and finally plot.

But that's actually very difficult way to perceive a story, so then I found out about fanfiction and started reading HP fanfic voraciously, first Harmony, then a lot of gen fic, and then one day I randomly read a Harry/Hermione/Draco love-triangle fic that was Harmony end game. And the idea of Draco and Hermione was so complicated and charged and there was nothing in the progression of the pairing that could be taken for granted, and I found that much more compelling than a friends to lovers pairing. So I switched from Harmony and started reading Dramione (with a few different alternative pairing phases, I had a whole Hermione/marauder's era, did a bit of sevmione and lumione, went into a Weasley brothers phase, then a sapphic period, a tomione chapter, and a Draco/Ginny rendezvous, at this point I have tried practically every single HP pairing you can think of). And after about 5 years of that, I finally went to college and got to read the actual Harry Potter series.

So it started with preference for a charged relationship dynamic in story telling, but as I've gotten older and started writing I've come to find Draco a very interesting character to explore the redemption arc of. As previously mentioned, I come from a background where children are often raised in a way that's very socially and informationally isolated, and have parents who like to make their love conditional upon their children parroting their beliefs with complete conviction. Fortunately for me in the long run but quite traumatically at the time, I am obstinate and distrusting by nature, and so I wasn't particularly cooperative about it for the most part (see reading the entire HP lexicon since I wasn't allowed to just read Harry Potter), but I had siblings and friends who did. So the process of a young person nearing adulthood and realising that all the things they believed/were told to believe/thought had to be believe are actually horrible and nightmarish and untrue is something that I've watched people go through the process of trying to deconstruct.

JKR sets all her characters in amber and they all have the exact same character flaws for seven books and never really grow or evolve in any ways, but I like exploring the idea that people grow and can learn to do better and eventually be better. You can't really give someone a redemption arc unless they actually did something that they need to be redeemed from.

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cinyemina · 1 year

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Analyzing Kim Gimyung/Jake Kim

introduction

I’m just trying to share my perspective on my favorite character in Lookism, Kim Gimyung/ Jake Kim. Also posted on Reddit.

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i. first impression

When I was first introduced to Gimyung in the gambling arc, I thought he was going to be one of those stereotypical villains who constantly tries to rise to the top but falls short. That is why I didn’t really pay any attention to his character. But as the plot progresses, we learn more about his character and learn that he wasn't always the bad guy and is a good guy. In his backstory (Jake Kim arc), we were able to understand how he became who he is.

I think PTJ wasn’t sure about Gimyung’s backstory and future roles at that time. Or maybe we were reading from a different perspective (Jace’s), which blinded us from understanding the true goals and motivations of Gimyung. In a later chapter, we got a bigger overview of the fight between Gimyung and Vasco, where Gimyung said something like “I have much more weight on my shoulders than you” (rescuing Sinu and protecting Big Deal).

ii. countenance

His face has displayed various ranges of expressions, but his eyebrows are almost always raised and have a composed expression. I'm not sure why I'm bringing this up specifically, but I believe it distinguishes him from other characters. I really wanted to write how it makes him special, but for some reason I'm having a hard time articulating my thoughts in this regard. For some reason, his right eye is depicted glowing magenta when he’s deeply motivated.

iii. fighting prowess

Gimyung’s fighting style is based off mixed martial arts (MMA) and Gapryong Kim’s street fighting style. His level of MMA is to the point that he can overwhelm Xiaolong at his best regardless of when he used his weapon or best martial art.

He defeated Xiaolong, whose fighting prowess was on par with Gun's.

Every time Xiaolong swung his Guandao during their battle, Gimyung got better at anticipating attacks. (Chapter 419)

He blocked invisible kick from Sinu Han. (Chapter 388)

He took hits from Ultra Instinct (UI) Hyungseok.

During his time in prison, he followed Gun’s fighting routine and was successfully able to master it. He could fight hundreds of prisoners at once (like Gun).

He was able surmount Brekdak’s forbidden techniques. (Chapter 351)

Gun took out almost all his teeth

He is one of the only people in the series to be able to overcome invisible attacks. He’s so skilled that it was said that he could surpass Gun [5]. He is able to defeat opponents by abruptly changing his combat effectiveness [1 and 3]. He also has high attack potency [1, 3 and 6] and he’s also fast [2 and 3]. He has immense stamina and endurance [5 and 7]. Gimyung has a method to defend against attacks that take advantage of blindspots at a very efficient level. He is also able to see visions of attacks before they land on him, though it's only used against Xiaolung.

iv. intelligence and tactics

He's gifted. He was able to:

run an entire gang and managed to find methods to earn money continuously despite the odds being against him.

easily deduce why Vasco was attacking the Workers Third Affiliate and prevented Yohan from continuing to fight when it wasn't needed.

find a way to prevent Yohan and Seongeun from fighting them and aid Hostel.

convince Choi Dongsoo to aid him and cooperate with Seongeun in backstabbing the Yoojin.

He avoids using weapons and simple fights. He frequently attempts to break his opponent's arms or legs. He is practical enough to employ subpar methods, such as pursuing his target while Xiaolong is left vulnerable to an assault. Gimyung will treat his adversary like Gun Park if he ever feels overpowered, making him even more dangerous.

He is incredibly perceptive to the outside world because he saw Jiho's influence on Jason when Jason made a peculiar face. By concentrating on the crack in the wall, Gimyung could determine the spinning mechanism during the club arc. He observes and notes how things function as he calmly takes in the details and information of his surroundings. He frequently attends to what needs to be done, discreetly and modestly addressing the immediate needs of the circumstance.

v. charisma and determination

He uses his communication skills, persuasiveness and charms to influence others. That is why he’s able to connect with people and manipulate (sometimes in good way, sometimes in bad) them on a deep level. He uses this skill in many ways that can affect a fight indirectly (his fight with Xiaolong in Hunt for Big Deal), including buying time, obtaining information that could be important, or manipulating how a person might approach a situation.

Gimyung had a strong determination. His goal was to save Sinu and to keep Big Deal safe. And to do that, he could even choose the path of unfairness. In middle school, he saved Brad and Jason from getting ganged up on, because he couldn’t tolerate injustice (just like his father). But he was so devoted to his goal that he went against his own principles.

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It’s an universal fact that our bae is painfully funny and charming and handsome. Fun fact: Gimyung loves red velvet cake.

so caring

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iv. leadership and big deal

To his allies, he is a caring leader. They are one of the most devoted crews because he fought valiantly to keep Big Deal independent and because they deeply care about him. He appreciates those who are truthful and just, and dislikes those who engage in unsavory behavior. Lineman, one of the newbies, bragged to others about how close he was to Gimyung, even though he felt inferior because he wasn’t acknowledged by others in Big Deal. He said he was brother to Gimyung, when Gimyung appeared and said Lineman was like a family. This was surprising because Gimyung knew him when other members didn’t.

After serving time in a juvenile facility, Gimyung's personality started to alter. He lost interest in fairness and is now only concerned with getting revenge. He made a promise to do away with Gun. He had a significant impact on Jiho and advised him to fight to the death if he wanted to defeat opponents who were stronger than he was. He later admitted that he was giving himself advice rather than Jiho because he thought that fighting Gun to the death was the only way he could defeat him.

Being such a devoted leader, he would allow himself to be humiliated, but he would do whatever it took to keep Big Deal alive. He licked wine on the floor, which prompted the gambler to take him into gambling business. Prior to being sent to prison, he only ate instant noodles to save money. But he never made the other members of his crew eat less.

As the series progressed, he began to sound like Sinu Han, who showed Gimyung the value of "romance" and “passion”, and ideals which he followed.

vii. thinking and intuition

Gimyung frequently prefers consistency of logic to morality. Despite his mom's problems, he flees because he hates his father for being unfair to her while being just the opposite to the rest of the world. He makes numerous attempts to leave Big Deal because of this as well. He also emphasizes the inside a lot when making decisions. He turns inward to develop his own ideas, viewpoints, and answers for the outside world.

In short, he has morals, but he also has a personal agenda. He is prepared to put his agenda ahead of his morals if doing so will help him accomplish his objectives. This establishes his compelling internal and external conflicts with other characters.

He was prepared to leave Big Deal and the girls because he thought Sinu had renounced his principles. But his viewpoint quickly changed once he realized that Sinu was behaving in a very consistent manner. Gimyung is unquestionably a good example of an anti-hero. He has fairly consistent morals but is aware of the immorality of what he is doing.

Gimyung viewed prison as a place where he could try out different methods for getting stronger. There's no way a group of inmates would suddenly attack Gimyung because he had a lot of influence over the guards and inmates through bribery and pure loyalty. Majority of Jake's fights in jail are well-controlled. Jiho might have also crossed Gimyung’s mind as a potential experiment subject. His opinion that fighting fairly is stupid was only reinforced by seeing Jiho get stronger.

vii. jitae and sinu

Gimyung is very considerate of Jitae/Jerry and frequently involved in his education. He pushed Jitae to be a modest student and get along well with his classmates. In order to avoid reprimands from his teachers and to practice the Jeongseon Arirang, he bought Jitae a bamboo flute. Jitae is without a doubt Gimyung's most devoted team member; he refuses to address anyone else as "Sir," and he always obediently complies with his orders. He was regarded as Gimyung's "sword," and after Gimyung was defeated by Gun, he vowed to get stronger in order to defend Gimyung.

When Gimyung first encountered Sinu, he was aloof and rejected Sinu’s invitation to join Big Deal. However, after learning about Sinu’s backstory and Big Deal’s purpose, he began to grow respect for the latter and even took his words about “romance and passion” into consideration. When Sinu pretended to have sold Big Deal, Gimyung had a hard time believing it and he even fought Sinu to “correct him”. After he came to know that Sinu sold himself, all his motivations and goals revolved around retrieving Sinu back. His admiration for Sinu was to such a great length that he claimed that Sinu is “his everything”.

ix. the flaws

All the characters have flaws and here I’m going to point out some inadequacies in his character.

He didn't really have a seamless transition from villain to hero archetype. It is clear from earlier chapters that PTJ did not write out his intentions clearly. It seemed as though his priorities and driving forces were money and power. In the gambling arc, he had a very different personality and physical description, which led to some uneven character development.

His logical thinking borders on insensitivity, which is why he’s often unaware of the impact their words or actions have on others’ feelings. He’s only concerned about the people he loves, so he’s not mindful of other people’s lives. But, it seems that he’s overcoming this. As in chapter 431, we saw that he motivated Xiaolong to go to Vivi and love her unconditionally.

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I promise you that I’m going to update this analysis when the series ends, with much more evidence provided for my claims.

#kim gimyung #jake kim #manhwa #lookism spoilers #lookism webtoon #lookism manhwa #lookism #kim gapryong #gapryong kim #jitae kwon #jerry kwon #sinu han #han shinwoo #big deal #character analysis #anti hero #lunarmis

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ughgoaway · 1 year

Text

i hate matty healy - chapter 2

content warnings: 18+ (mdni) smut, protected sex (be safe kids), swearing and this was my first time attempting smut so be aware lol, word count- 3400 ish

a/n: I am not brave enough to re-read those chapter when doing the reposts so if its really bad I apologise! idk what else to say so here it is, (try to) enjoy!!

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“Shit” Matty gasped whilst tripping over a bag in the hallway “fucking ross leaving his shit everywhere” he muttered angrily under his breath. You carried on walking backwards, “Oh yeah great, let's talk about my brother just before we were about to have sex that's my favourite conversation topic,” you replied sarcastically whilst trying to catch your breath. “Is that what's going to happen darling” Matty drawled out whilst smirking and moving back to you grasping your hips and leaning into your face. “Mhm” you breathed out, muttering the words against his closed lips, Matty took this as an invitation to begin furiously kissing you again which you very happily reciprocated. Sticking your arm out behind you began frantically feeling for the handle of the door to the bedroom at the back of the bus. This room was known among you and the boys as “the big room” and has caused many arguments in the years you've been touring with them. It all culminated one night in George sitting on Matty's chest in the corridor to block him from getting the big room for the third night in a row. This was your final straw. Due to your type A personality, you took it upon yourself to create a rota for who gets the room. Of course, you were told it was a “fucking stupid idea” by Matty but you blissfully ignored him whilst giving him fewer days in the big room out of spite.

Pulling away Matty uttered “Just fucking open the door y/n jesus, I can't wait any longer” This made you giggle and respond “It's kind of hard to focus when you're kissing me like that. I get I'm irresistible but patience is a virtue Matthew.” This caused Matty to groan and throw his head back “Really still Matthew? My tongue has been down your throat and it's still Matthew?” he said with a flat tone to his voice. “yup!” you responded perkily whilst finally opening the door and falling backwards onto the crumpled sheets. You righted yourself and sat perched on the end of the bed, Matty was standing in the doorway leaning on the frame with a look in his eyes that you'd never seen. Animalistic desire. He was going to destroy you. A shiver of anticipation went through you, “Well don't worry love you'll soon be screaming it so it doesn't matter what you call me” he cheekily retorted as he stalked towards you.

Light filtered through the thin bus curtains and illuminated the small room, it really wasn't much just a double bed and room to walk around it. You were currently staying in the “big room” so the floor was littered with your luggage. Makeup was sprawled over the desk, clothes on the floor and your shoes all lined up in the corner. Matty glanced around and wondered if this is what your bedroom at home looks like. Slightly ugly, flowery sheets adorned the bed, they were crinkled on the right slide but looked untouched on the left. You slept on the right, huh. Matty didn't know why this information made his heart flutter slightly but he quickly shut that down before it could progress to something he didn't want to consider. After quickly shaking his head in an attempt to right his thoughts, he focused back on you, his eyes darkening as he saw you sat so patiently for him. Almost looking small under his intense gaze, your eyelashes fluttering delicately against your cheek every time you blinked.

Out of instinct, you parted your legs for him to stand between, he smiled at your cooperation using the closeness as an opportunity to grab your face in his hands and smash your lips back together. A satisfied groan began to leave your lips only to be quickly replaced by a needy whimper at Matty pulling away. “Ah ah ah not so greedy not love, you'll get me eventually.” Matty had bewitched your mind leaving you only able to respond with a feeble plea, “Please” you muttered using all your brain power to get even one word out. Your usual sarcasm melted away leaving you completely bare to him. The sickly sweet tone your voice had gained made Matty dizzy, you heard him force air out his nostrils in an attempt to calm himself. “Oh my poor baby, pleading and I have barely touched you. I always knew you'd be the begging type.” he paused and a cheeky look came across his face, “so go on then.” he boldly remarked. In a haze, your eyes fluttered closed and you airily replied “What?”. Suddenly you felt a hand forcefully grip your jaw causing your eyes to shoot open and they were met with the look of pure lust in Matty’s. “Beg.” he simply responded with a filthy smile on his face.

Matty saw your eyes change from desire to disdain, his comment snapped you right back into the person he had become accustomed to. Within a second your face went stoic and you simply tilted your head disapprovingly at Matty, “You are a good kisser Healy, I'll admit that, but not good enough to make me beg. We all know you are shit in bed, shouldn't you be begging on your knees for me to fuck you?” you retorted sarcastically. Any witty thoughts quickly left your head at his snappy response, “Oh I'll get on my knees for you darling if that's what you want, just have to beg. It's that simple sweetheart.” You scoffed in distaste and a stare-off ensued. If you and Matty had anything in common, it's stubbornness. It was something the guys hated as it meant your arguments could last any length of time. Sometimes even years. If someone even mentions the ping pong game of 2016 an all-out riot ensues. You weighed up the options in your head, you either continue to stare and risk losing this opportunity or you give in and beg. But not just beg, beg for Matthew Healy. The thought almost made you physically recoil. Before you could consider it any longer it seems Matty had made your choice for you. Stepping back he began to say “Okay love if you're not going to ask nicely then we can stop this whole thing right now, I can just-”

Before he could finish his sentence you cut him off fiercely “No!” you continued “Please stay. Please please. I can't wait any longer. I need you.” you desperately begged Matty, grabbing at him and pulling him back towards you. Breaking you down pleased Matty, he loved how pliable you had become from a few kisses. He didn't really think you would be so submissive but seeing his made his dick twitch in anticipation for how he would break you. “See that's all I needed. That was easy, wasn't it sweetheart? Now that that's sorted out, take your shirt off and that pathetic excuse for a pair of shorts and kneel in the middle of the bed.” you scrambled and moved quicker than you ever have before.

Despite being asleep only 30 minutes ago you still had on a nice black lacy matching set, silently you thank your drunk self for being too lazy to take them off last night. “Pretty girl” Matty cooed as you knelt just as he asked, “so good for me, aren't you? Desperate for my dick? Begging for me? Just how I like you." Normally a comment like this from Matty towards you would be rewarded with a hard fast slap to the face but somehow he had made you so dizzy with lust that all you could muster was an impatient whimper. “I'm coming sweetheart it's okay” he silently laughed to himself at your desperation not recognising you in this state.

“Look at you all blissed out before I've even touched you? What would you like?” knowing how you were about to respond Matty hastily added, “ And I'll need you to be specific darling, gotta make sure you're getting exactly what you need.” Right now this feels like an impossible task but your need for Matty overpowered anything else, “need you to be inside me. Please please, I need it so badly, it's all I can think about.” a dark chuckle was the only noise in the room after your comment, “What no foreplay sweetheart? Don't you want me to taste you?” matty replied, speaking low as if not to disturb the moment. Hastily you replied “No I can't wait, I'm ready. Just please fuck me.” In his 29 years of life Matty didn't think he’d ever heard something so hot, anyone begging for him is a turn-on. But for it to be you just adds another layer to his desire.

Hurriedly, Matty yanked off his jogging bottoms revealing he wasn't wearing any boxers underneath, this made you groan out loud and frantically start yanking him towards you until he was on top of you. Growling Matty started pressing open-mouth kisses to your neck, grazing his teeth over your pulse point making your leg twitch. You felt him smirk against you as he kept on pressing hot kisses further down. You pulled him up by his thick curly hair before he could get too low and forced your lips together. He groaned at the contact and you pushed your tongue into his mouth trying to get as close to him as physically possible. At first, you attempted to fight his tongue for dominance but quickly gave up in favour of shoving your free hand down to grab his dick and start pumping.

He moaned and pulled away, “condom?” he asked while panting. “My bag is on the floor by the nightstand. There should be one in there.” you said, quickly adding “Hurry”. Your impatience only amused Matty and he muttered under his breath “Okay baby I'll get it calm down”. As he moved to get it he demanded you take off your bra, you obliged and were met with a throaty groan when he came back up. “I can't wait to fuck you,” he mumbled. Giggling you watched him come back to the bed with a condom between his fingers. “Can I put it on you please?” you ask sweetly with fluttering eyelashes and “fuck me” eyes, Matty didn't think he'd ever get tired of seeing this submissive side of you. It drove him crazy. “Since you asked so nicely darling” Matty paused to rip the wrapper open with his teeth and quickly handed you the rolled-up condom, “Here you go sweetheart”. You grabbed the condom and rolled it on his hard cock giving it a few leisurely pumps before you felt him grab your wrist and say “Don’t get too excited baby, I won't last if you keep doing that” You smiled back with a cheeky glint in your eyes, pulling off your panties whilst holding eye contact.

“You're killing me” he groaned, “lie back love, and let me fuck you c'mon”. Not one to deny his request you arrange yourself on the pillows and pull his head towards yours. Furiously kissing him whilst he lines himself up to your entrance. Soft lips dance over your own, and a mixture of coffee and cigarette smoke overwhelmed your senses only leaving you more needy. You traced his tattoos with your fingers taking extra care when lightly touching his “we are kings tattoos” knowing your featherlight touch would only drive him more insane. The room felt as if it fell away and all you could think, feel, and see was Matty. He briefly pulled away just to stare at you, the look in his eyes had changed to one you didn't recognise- not the same look of desire as before. Matty didn't know what the look was either. Not being able to identify this pressure in his chest, the strong beating of his heart, or the thoughts in his head. Cutting off his brain before it could start whirring he harshly reconnected your lips groaning into your mouth at how you felt against him. He would never get bored of your lips or the small mews you made as he kissed you.

He bumps your swollen clit a few times with his tip to tease you even further, only pushing your desperation to a point you didn't even know was possible. All you could respond with was a squeak of dissatisfaction but soon a loud moan came shooting out of your mouth as he started to push into you. “Holy shit-” he rushed out as he made his way deeper into you “Oh god darling so tight and wet for me. You feel so so good-” he struggled to speak as your wet heat surrounded him “Let me know if I'm going too fast for you, yeah? Don't want to hurt this perfect pussy” his dirty words drive you insane and you reassured him quickly saying “I will I will, just please don't stop. oh my god.” you both sighed heavily as he settled fully into you, your hands shooting to grasp at his back. Your nails rake down his back causing a shiver to come through him. “Are you ready for me baby?” “Yeah I'm all good, please move. You fill me up so well jesus-”

He begins with slow delicate thrusts and he picks up your legs wrapping them around his waist for better leverage. The new angle caused you to moan loudly and gasp, with each thrust he was hitting so deep within you that it made you dizzy. The pace was torturous, any time you attempted to grind back against him a powerful hand halted you. “Matty oh my god” you breathed out to try and get him to start fucking you hard but you soon huffed in annoyance as he stopped to stare into his eyes. “Say that again,” he said staring into your eyes. “What are you talking about, Matty, just move. Please.” you mewled out impatiently whilst connecting your feet behind his back and pulling him into you even further. “You called me Matty. I knew you would crumble but so soon? Baby, I expected more of you. So drunk on me, on my cock you can't even remember your promises”

Not in any state to argue you just nod your head and whine out “Matty.” he thought he could die here and now watching you moan out for him. The name felt unusual on your lips but you carried on, “You feel so good in me Matty, go faster. I like it rough please-” Before you could even finish your sentence Matty was roughly thrusting into you, “I knew you would, you're such a good slut for me” The dirty nickname combined with his pointed thrusts made you cry out, and nod messily, your hair sweaty and sticking to your forehead. Matty kept pumping into you at an unrelenting pace, his unruly curls standing up on end and frazzling due to your unrelenting hands grasping and pulling it.

His dick was deep in you, you swore you could almost feel him in your stomach. But it wasn't too much, he filled you perfectly. As if he was made for you. Stretching you out not enough to hurt but just make you feel dizzy at the pressure. Shouting and moans filled the room, he pushed into you like a man starved. He didn't know if he would ever fuck you again and he needed you. Nails dig into your hips leaving small crescent moon indents behind. Your delicate moans fuelled Matty's overblown ego, his face twisting in joy watching you writhe under him. Loud moans tell him how much you love his rough unforgiving thrusts, your cunt grasping him every time he thrust into you and greedily sucking him back when he pulled out. You needed him and he needed you. For once the mutually assured destruction you two shared was the destruction of you. Determined to leave you desperate for more Matty put his everything into fucking you, changing his pace and angles causing you to groan and grope at him. Blood trickled down his back your nails digging into him. Matty loved the feeling, the pure masochism of the act only turning him on more.

You were already hurdling towards an orgasm, feeling that all too familiar feeling deep in your stomach. It increased tenfold when he moved his hand down and began furiously circling your clit with a delicious pressure. A scream ripped out from your throat at the pleasure you were feeling and all you could do was babble his name and moan, too out of it to remember any other word. Matty was getting close too, one hand on your clit and the other desperately grasping at anything he could touch. He was hungrily trying to feel every part of you. The way you were clenching around him had him tensing his muscles in an attempt to hold himself together. All he wanted was to be able to keep fucking you like this. Keep seeing you like this.

As your thighs tightened around him Matty knew you were close and was determined to use his words to push you off the edge. He got close to your ear, changing the angle in a way that made you cry out in pleasure, “you close baby?” he felt you messily nodding as you buried your head in his shoulder, his curls tickling your face. “Yeah, I know you are, you gonna cum for me? Are you going to be a good whore and cum on my cock? Cmon baby, I know you love it. No one makes you feel like I do huh? Cum for me” his dirty words caused your orgasm to rip through you. A white-hot heat spread through your body causing your mind to go numb and your limbs to shake, you threw your head back and cried out not being able to contain your pleasure. You falling apart under him destroyed any hope Matty had for lasting any longer and he shouted “shit!” before cumming hard into the condom, gripping your hips firmly enough to leave fingerprint marks that would last for days. He continued to thrust until it became too much for the both of you, both your legs feeling numb.

Painting as you both came down from your highs you saw Matty struggling to hold himself up, his arm by your head visibly shaking from exertion. You pulled him on top of you and rolled over so he was on his back, your head resting on his rapidly moving chest as he tried to catch his breath. “Fuck.” you said panting. “I know. Fuck. we’re good at that” Matty replied shaking his head, lightly laughing with a slightly dreamy quality to his voice. This made you giggle and respond with “Yeah, why haven't we done that before? Shit.” Matty abruptly shot up throwing you off his chest, you sat up, and just as you were about to unleash your anger but couldn't before he said, “Fuck. oh my god. I'm actually the worst friend ever.” Confusion fell over your features as you said “We aren't friends? Don't flatter yourself. And even if we were what you just did makes you a very good friend in my books”. Matty have you a blank, annoyed look “Not you, you dipshit. Ross.” he snarkily said. “ I just fucked my best friend's sister.” His eyes widened and had a wild look in them. “Oh no. I’ve seen my best friend's sister naked. I've been inside her oh my god. I-” Matty began to ramble so you quickly cut him off grabbing his flailing arms and saying “Matthew. Calm down. We are both consenting adults and there's no reason why Ross ever has to know this happened. Trust me I'm not about to go shout it from the rooftops. Our secret, yeah?” this seemed to calm him a bit and he turned to face you putting his pinky finger up and thrusting it towards you “our secret” he affirmed as you grabbed his pinky in your own and shook. “Also,” Matty began “Matthew again already? Barely out of you 5 minutes and we’re back to Matthew” You laughed and pulled him back to lie down again. His arm settles around your waist and he pulled you into his chest putting you back in the position you were in before his freak-out. For the first time in your tumultuous “friendship” with Matty, you were both at peace. Silence fell over you both as you sat with small smiles on your faces listening to each other breathe. That silence was cut short by a booming voice coming through the bus, “Matty? y/n? You awake?” Ross’ voice cut through your peace like a sharp knife. You and Matty sat up and looked at each other with wide eyes. Shit.

(note- this is a repost, tumblr deleted my old account so this is a new one! I'll add this note on each reposted chapter)

#matty healy fanfiction #matty healy #matty healy x reader #matty healy smut #matty healy fanfic #i hate matty healy series #i havent reread or edited this repost so if its bad... ignore that ty

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dailyanarchistposts · 3 days

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G.2.2 Is communist-anarchism violent?

Having shown that communist-anarchist is a valid form of anarchism even in terms of individualist anarchism in the last section, it is now necessary to discuss the issue of methods, i.e., the question of revolution and violence. This is related to the first objection, with Tucker arguing that “their Communism is another State, while my voluntary cooperation is not a State at all. It is a very easy matter to tell who is an Anarchist and who is not. Do you believe in any form of imposition upon the human will by force?” [Liberty, no. 94, p. 4] However, Tucker was well aware that the state imposed its will on others by force and so the question was whether revolution was the right means of ending its oppression.

To a large degree, discussion on the question of revolution was clouded by the fact it took place during the height of the “propaganda by the deed” period in anarchist history (see section A.2.18). As George Woodcock noted, a “cult of violence … marked and marred” the IWPA and alienated the individualist anarchists. [Anarchism, p. 393] Johann Most was the focus for much of this rhetoric (see Paul Avrich’s The Haymarket Tragedy, particularly the chapter entitled “Cult of Dynamite”). However, the reason why talk of dynamite found an audience had nothing to do with anarchism but rather because of the violence regularly directed against striking workers and unions. As we discuss more fully in section G.3.1, strikes were habitually repressed by violence (by the state or by the employer’s private police). The massive 1877 strike wave, for example, saw the Chicago Times urge the use of hand grenades against strikers while employers organised “private guards and bands of uniformed vigilantes” which “roamed the streets, attacking and dispersing groups of workers. Business leaders concluded that “the chief lesson of the strike as the need for a stronger apparatus of repression” and presented the city of Chicago with two Gatling guns to aid that task. “The erection of government armouries in the centres of American cities dates from this period.” This repression and the vitriolic ruling class rhetoric used “set a pattern for the future and fuelled the hatreds and passions without which the Haymarket tragedy would not have occurred.” [Paul Avrich, The Haymarket Tragedy, p. 33 and p. 35]

Given this general infatuation with dynamite and violence which this state and employer violence provoked, the possibility for misunderstanding was more than likely (as well as giving the enemies of anarchism ample evidence to demonise it while allowing the violence of the system they support to be downplayed). Rather than seeing communist-anarchists as thinking a revolution was the product of mass struggle, it was easy to assume that by revolution they meant acts of violence or terrorism conducted by a few anarchists on behalf of everyone else (this false perspective is one which Marxists to this day tend to repeat when dismissing anarchism). In such a situation, it is easy to see why so many individualist anarchists thought that a small group of anarchists sought to impose communism by means of violence. However, this was not the case. According to Albert Parsons, the communist-anarchists argued that the working class “will be driven to use [force] in self-defence, in self-preservation against those who are degrading, enslaving and destroying them.” [The Autobiographies of the Haymarket Martyrs, p. 46] As August Spies put it, ”[t]o charge us with an attempt to overthrow the present system on or about May 4th, and then establish anarchy, is too absurd a statement, I think, even for a political office-holder to make … Only mad men could have planned such a brilliant scheme.” Rather, “we have predicted from the lessons history teaches, that the ruling classes of to-day would no more listen to the voice of reason than their predecessors; that they would attempt by brute force to stay the wheel of progress.” [contained in Parsons, Anarchism: Its Philosophy and Scientific Basis, p. 55] Subsequent events have proven that Spies and Parsons had a point!

Thus arguments about violence should not result in the assumption that the individualist anarchists were pacifists as the subject usually is not violence as such but rather assassinations and attempts of minorities to use violence to create “anarchy” by destroying the state on behalf of the general population. “To brand the policy of terrorism and assassination as immoral is ridiculously weak,” argued Tucker. ”Liberty does not assume to set any limit on the right of an invaded individual to choose his own methods of defence. The invader, whether an individual or a government forfeits all claim to consideration from the invaded. This truth is independent of the character of the invasion.” This meant that the “right to resist oppression by violence is beyond doubt. But its exercise would be unwise unless the suppression of free thought, free speech, and a free press were enforced so stringently that all other means of throwing it off had become hopeless.” Ultimately, though, the “days of armed revolution have gone by. It is too easily put down.” [Instead of a Book, p. 430, p. 439 and p. 440]

Except for a small group of hard-core insurrectionists, few social anarchists think that violence should be the first recourse in social struggle. The ultra-revolutionary rhetoric associated with the 1883–6 period is not feature of the anarchist movement in general and so lessons have been learned. As far as strategy goes, the tactics advocated by social anarchists involve the same ones that individualist anarchists support, namely refusal of obedience to all forms of authority. This would include workplace, rent and tax strikes, occupations, protests and such like. Violence has always been seen as the last option, to be used only in self-defence (or, sometimes, in revenge for greater acts of violence by oppressors). The problem is that any effective protest will result in the protesters coming into conflict with either the state or property owners. For example, a rent strike will see the agents of the property owner trying to evict tenants, as would a workers strike which occupied the workplace. Similarly, in the Seattle protests in 1999 the police used force against the non-violent protesters blocking the roads long before the Black Bloc started breaking windows (which is, in itself, non-violent as it was directed against corporate property, not people — unlike the police action). Unless the rebels simply did what they were told, then any non-violent protest could become violent — but only because private property ultimately rests on state violence, a fact which becomes obvious when people refuse to acknowledge it and its privileges (“There is only one law for the poor, to wit: Obey the rich.” [Parsons, Op. Cit., p. 97]). Thus Adolph Fischer, one of the Haymarket Martyrs:

“Would a peaceful solution of the social question be possible, the anarchists would be the first ones to rejoice over it. “But is it not a fact that on occasion of almost every strike the minions of the institutions of private property — militia, police, deputy sheriffs; yes, even federal troops — are being called to the scenes of conflict between capital and labour, in order to protect the interests of capital? … What peaceful means should the toilers employ? There is, for example, the strike? If the ruling classes want to enforce the ‘law’ they can have every striker arrested and punished for ‘intimidation’ and conspiracy. A strike can only be successful if the striking workingmen prevent their places being occupied by others. But this prevention is a crime in the eyes of the law. Boycott? In several states the ‘courts of justice’ have decided that the boycott is a violation of the law, and in consequence thereof, a number of boycotts have had the pleasure of examining the inner construction of penitentiaries ‘for ‘conspiracy’ against the interests of capital.” [The Autobiographies of the Haymarket Martyrs, pp. 85–6]

Some individualist anarchists did agree with this position. Dyer Lum, for example, “supported revolutionary violence on practical and historical grounds. Practically speaking, Lum did not believe that ‘wage slavery’ could be ended by non-violence because capitalists would surely use force to resist.” [Frank H. Brooks, “Ideology, Strategy, and Organization: Dyer Lum and the American Anarchist Movement”, pp. 57–83, Labor History, vol. 34, No. 1, p. 71] Spooner’s rhetoric could be as violent sounding as Johann Most at his worse and he called upon the subjects of the British Empire to rise in revolt (see his pamphlet Revolution). Equally, many social anarchists are pacifists or believe that anarchism can come about by means of reform and not revolution. Thus the reform/revolution divide does not quite equal the individualist/social anarchist divide, although it is fair to say that most individualist anarchists were and are reformists.

So, it must be stressed that most individualist anarchists did not oppose revolution as such. Rather they considered it as both unlikely to succeed and unnecessary. They rejected revolutionary expropriation “not because we deem such expropriation unjust, invasive, criminal, but solely because we are we are convinced that there is a better, safer, and wiser way for labour to pursue with a view to emancipation.” With mutual banks, they argued, it became possible “for labour to gradually lift itself into the position to command its full share of wealth, and absorb in the shape of wages all that is now alienated from it in the forms of profit, interest proper, and monopoly rent.” [Yarrows, Liberty, no. 171, p. 5] As such, their aims were the same as communist-anarchism (namely to end exploitation of labour and the abolition of the state) but their means were different. Both, however, were well aware that the capitalism could not be ended by political action (i.e., voting). “That the privileged class”, argued William Bailie “will submit to expropriation, even if demanded at the ballot-box, is a delusion possible only to him who knows not the actual situation confronting the people of this country.” [“The Rule of the Monopolists”, Liberty, no. 368, p. 4]

However, there was one area of life that was excluded from their opposition to expropriation: the land. As Yarros put it, “the Anarchists’ position on the land question, which involves the dispossession of present landlords and the entire abolition of the existing system of land tenure … They wish to expropriate the landlords, and allow the landless to settle on land which does not now belong to them.” This ”[o]ne exception … we are compelled to make” involved “believ[ing] that the landless will, individually and for the purpose of occupying ownership, take possession of the land not personally occupied and used by landlord, and will protect each other in the possession of such lands against any power hostile to them.” [Op. Cit., no. 171, p. 4 and p. 5]

Yet as subsequent history has shown, landlords are just as likely to organise and support violent counter-revolutionary movements in the face of land reform as are industrial capitalists. Both sections of the capitalist class supported fascists like Mussolini, Franco and Pinochet in the face of even moderate attempts at expropriation by either reformist governments or the peasants themselves. So as the history of land reform shows, landlords are more than willing to turn to death squads and fascism to resist it. To suggest that squatting land would provoke less capitalist violence than, say, expropriating workplaces simply cannot be supported in the light of 20th century history. The choice, then, is simply to allow the landlords and capitalists to keep their property and try to but it back from them or use political or revolutionary means to expropriate them. Communist-anarchists thought that the mutual banks would not work and so supported expropriation by means of a mass revolt, a social revolution.

As such, communist-anarchists are not revolutionaries by choice but rather because they do not think capitalism can be reformed away nor that the ruling class will freely see their power, property and privileges taken from them. They reject the mutualist and individualist anarchist suggestion that mutual banks could provide enough credit to compete capitalism away and, even if it could, the state would simply outlaw it. This perspective does not imply, as many enemies of anarchist suggest, that social anarchists always seek to use violence but rather that we are aware that the state and capitalists will use violence against any effective protest. So, the methods social anarchists urge — strikes, occupations, protests, and so forth — are all inherently non-violent but resistance by the state and capitalist class to these acts of rebellion often results in violence (which is dutifully reported as violence by the rebels, not the powerful, in the media). That the capitalist class will use violence and force to maintain its position “is demonstrated in every strike which threatens their power; by every lock-out, by every discharge; by every black-list.” [Parsons, Anarchism: Its Philosophy and Scientific Basis, p. 105] Ultimately, the workings of capitalism itself provokes resistance to it. Even if no anarchist participated in, or help organise, strikes and protests they would occur anyway and the state would inevitably intervene to defend “law and order” and “private property” — as the history of every class system proves. So communist-anarchism does not produce the class war, the class war produces communist-anarchism.

In addition, Tucker thought that a violent revolution would not succeed for without an awareness of anarchist ideals in the general public, the old system would soon return. “If government should be abruptly and entirely abolished tomorrow,” he argued, “there would probably ensue a series of physical conflicts about land and many other things, ending in reaction and a revival of the old tyranny.” [Instead of a Book, p. 329] Almost all revolutionary anarchists would agree with his analysis (see section A.2.16). Such anarchists have always seen revolution as the end of a long process of self-liberation and self-education through struggle. All anarchists reject the idea that all that was required was to eliminate the government, by whatever means, and the world would be made right. Rather, we have seen anarchism as a social movement which, like anarchy itself, requires the participation of the vast majority to be viable. Hence anarchist support for unions and strikes, for example, as a means of creating more awareness of anarchism and its solutions to the social question (see section J.1). This means that communist-anarchists do not see revolution as imposing anarchism, but rather as an act of self-liberation by a people sick of being ruled by others and act to free themselves of tyranny.

So, in summary, in terms of tactics there is significant overlap between the strategies advocated by both social and individualist anarchists. The key difference is that the former do not think that the latter’s mutual banks make expropriation unnecessary while the individualist anarchists think that expropriation of capital would provoke the state into attacking and it would be unlikely that the rebels would win. Both, however, can agree that violence should only be used in self-defence and that for most of the time it is not required as other forms of resistance are far more effective.

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turtle-paced · 1 year

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Revisiting Chapters: Cersei VII, AFFC

Nobody can say this chapter isn’t memorable.

The story so far…

Cersei’s working on isolating and conquering her enemies, most of all the Tyrells. Sometimes other problems pop up too. It’s probably the Tyrells’ fault again.

This chapter contains discussion of rape and a rape scene.

Whoever Wins…

The narrative picks up as news of what’s been happening in the Ironborn subplot hits King’s Landing. Specifically, a thousand ships have rocked up and started wreaking havoc on the Shield Islands. Margaery’s saying as much.

Well. Cersei knows what’s serious business.

Must, she thought. She dares say “must” to me. She itched to slap the Tyrell girl across the face.

Cersei’s counsellors immediately start saying that the thousand-ship count cannot possibly be correct. That’s just too many ships!

The reason for the general unpolished look of everyone here is explained as Cersei narrates how everyone was woken up in the middle of the night by Margaery’s messengers. Margaery’s described as looking “as though she had just come from some man’s embrace” which is some great projection there from Cersei. More worryingly to her, Cersei’s feeling as though the walls are closing in on her.

My enemies are everywhere, and my friends are useless.

Who appointed these friends to the Small Council, you ask? Let’s not dwell on technicalities.

Anyway, back to the thousand ships. Aurane Waters points out that even if there are only half as many ships, that’s still a lot of ships, and the fleet he’s constructing isn’t ready yet. And even if it was, he reckons that the Iron Fleet still has ships to match most of those the Iron Throne and they have way better sailors than anything the Iron Throne can match. Can’t just stick a bunch of randoms on a boat and expect them to be able to sail it, after all. Cersei’s takeaway from this is that Robert should have killed more Ironborn.

That was what her father would have done, but Robert never had the stomach that a king requires if he hopes to keep peace in the realm.

Maybe Tywin would have killed more Ironborn, and maybe Robert’s approach to the Ironborn was fatally flawed (I suspect it was flawed more in terms of follow-up after the decisive defeat of the Ironborn in the Greyjoy Rebellion), but that doesn’t do much about the thousand or so ships currently menacing the Reach.

The details here are concerning. Aside from just a thousand ships. The sheer scope indicates that this is an invasion, not a raid. The fact that the Ironborn set up replacement lords for the ones they killed indicates that this is an invasion, not a raid. They had the capacity to avoid the coasts, heading for the open sea, before swooping back in. It’s bad news. It’s really bad news.

The other thing that rapidly becomes apparent here is the extent to which Margaery is on the ball. They’re her messengers. Willas sent news to her. And we can see why. She’s across the major noble casualties and their significance, the Ironborn response, the tactics Willas reported to her, what Willas plans to do in response, and the action she needs from the Crown. Margaery might be young and relatively inexperienced, but this entire scene shows that her competence isn’t limited to just political imagery. Margaery could actually be a very good queen in her own right.

By contrast, Cersei needs a drink. Her alcoholism progresses. On a political level, it’s not much better. She also blames Willas (with a delightful frisson of ableism), because he’s a Tyrell and clearly incompetent. She immediately attributes this to Stannis.

Pycelle frowned. “What would Lord Stannis gain by…”

While Orton Merryweather tells Cersei that she’s so clever, Pycelle has more questions. Specifically, he notes that cooperating with the Ironborn would hamstring Stannis’s efforts with the Northerners. Cersei rebuts this by saying that clearly Stannis has thrown in the towel on winning over the North and changing his tactics to recruiting enemies of the North, but if that’s so…what are the Ironborn doing raiding the Reach, while still maintaining their halfassed Northern actions? There’s no way to slice it so this makes sense.

When Margaery says that they must recall Mace Tyrell and lift the siege of Storm’s End, it gets worse:

“I have no doubt that Lord Stannis would be pleased by that. Have you been listening, my lady? If he can draw our eyes away from Dragonstone and Storm’s End to these rocks…”

This is where Margaery’s composure breaks slightly.

“Rocks?” gasped Margaery. “Did Your Grace say rocks?”

Loras can’t restrain his sarcasm as he manages a slightly fuller explanation, being that taking the Shield Islands gives the Ironborn a base to menace the Oldtown, the Arbor, and even Highgarden.

Cersei’s response is to tell Loras that this sounds like a you problem. She further suggests that maybe Willas could ferry any troops he raises across to the Shield Islands with skiffs and barges and fishing boats. If you think this is a stupid idea, well.

“And when the longships of the ironborn descend upon our ragtag fleet as it is making its way across this ‘little stretch of water,’ what would Your Grace have us do then?”

Drown, thought Cersei.

So does Cersei. An intentionally stupid idea intended to get as many people of the Reach killed as possible. Alternatively, the Tyrells can spend big on sellsails. With a thousand (or five hundred) ships bearing down on Cersei’s realm, four strategically important islands captured, Cersei’s aim here is to get some of her only allies killed. Without a plan for, you know, repelling the invasion of her shores.

Now, both Tyrell siblings present are utterly appalled, because they wanted Cersei to command Paxter Redwyne to send his ships to do something about the Iron Fleet, even if that means breaking the siege of Dragonstone. As well they might be appalled. As Cersei flatly denies this request and brings the audience to an end, Pycelle too seems like he was stunned into silence, as Cersei mentions him snapping back to attentiveness.

Appalled or not, Loras now takes unreasonable action in order to appease someone who has proved to be unreasonable. He takes a step towards Cersei - the nerve of him! Cersei is ready to yell for Osmund Kettleblack to defend her from Loras’s vicious walking - but everyone can relax, it’s a false alarm. Loras is, in fact, begging on bended knee to mount a suicidal assault on Dragonstone. He swears that Dragonstone will be Cersei’s within two weeks. And if that siege is ended, then Cersei can freely do something about the massive invasion force bearing down on one of the realm’s breadbaskets as they head into winter.

No one had given Cersei such a lovely gift since Sansa Stark had run to her to divulge Lord Eddard’s plans.

Successfully tricking an eleven year old might not objectively be the flex Cersei thinks it is, but it is however about the right level of flex for the clownery Cersei’s currently indulging in. Hooray! Cersei has successfully rid herself of one of Tommen’s very few competent bodyguards, arranged for allied forces to cut themselves down on a castle they don’t need to fall right this instant, further alienated her political allies and advisors, and ignored a full scale invasion.

Pycelle’s not getting it though. As Cersei monologues to herself about how clever she is to have arranged to blow up her own side, to the point of full blown cartoon villain laughter once she’s out of Tyrell earshot, he’s trying to keep pace with her.

“Your Grace?” Grand Maester Pycelle blinked, his mouth sagging open. “Why…why would you laugh?”

For good measure, Cersei also tosses in the fact that Pycelle got the stunned mullet act on when she notified him of her not at all going to end in disaster arrangement with the High Septon. Imagine that. She’s thinking about replacing Pycelle, too, because someone whose response to Cersei’s decisions in this opening scene was ‘huh - what - why???’ is clearly not keeping up with Cersei and her cunning plans.

Side Projects

Cersei’s night is still not over. Qyburn’s talking replacements for Loras. He has one in mind. It may or may not be zombie Gregor Clegane.

“What he lacks in gallantry he will give you tenfold in devotion. He will protect your son, kill your enemies, and keep your secrets, and no living man will be able to withstand him.”

Sold! Cersei’s already ordered the plate from the armourer. They’re another over-cautious fool who’s saying things like “but physics! Human anatomy! They don’t work like that!”

After reporting in to Taena Merryweather, Cersei’s not quite ready to go back to sleep when guardsmen knock on Cersei’s door again. Cersei tries to say that it’s freaking late here and she needs to sleep, but the guard says that Falyse is “not in a good way.” So Cersei gets dressed and goes to meet with Falyse Stokeworth.

Sure enough, Falyse is indeed not in a good way. She’s crying, bruised, and her dress is torn, and the only thing she can say until Cersei gets a flagon of wine in her is “he killed him.” It turns out that this refers to Bronn, who killed Falyse’s husband Balman. Balman had the genius idea of challenging Bronn to single combat.

“He said it would be s-s-simple. The lance is a knight’s weapon, he said, and Bronn was no true knight.”

Classism here has done Balman in. Cersei immediately spots that Bronn’s not a knight, no, but someone who is very good at killing other people in a range of circumstances. Knights included. Bronn simply killed Balman’s horse (the poor horse!) and let the horse crush Balman. He then forced Balman to confess before finishing him off, hitting Falyse across the face, and ordering her to leave Stokeworth. Falyse’s guards told her that she should do as Lord Stokeworth said. So now Falyse is here, asking for Cersei’s help to retake Stokeworth. Cersei is less than pleased with the blithering idiots she called upon to quietly assassinate Bronn.

Who asked these particular blithering idiots to quietly assassinate Bronn, you ask? Let’s not dwell on those technicalities either.

The upshot of all this is that Cersei’s lost Stokeworth. She can’t send people to retake it, because she can’t risk fighting right outside King’s Landing under the circumstances. Instead she just has to take the L and work on damage control. Damage control here meaning that she just hands Falyse over to Qyburn. Truly, there are no other ways Cersei could obtain Falyse’s silence.

Alone again, Cersei repeats the sentiment that she’s surrounded by idiots. Even Jaime. She needs another drink to cope.

Thus fortified, Cersei’s narration heads back into self-justification. Bronn’s no more than an annoyance (then why assassinate him? Just because he pissed Cersei off? Sure, that’s reasonable) and she’ll swat him like a fly when she only has the chance. A bit of revenge fantasy, and then she decides she’s done thinking about Stokeworth.

So that’s definitely fixed then.

Taena had drifted back to sleep by the time the queen returned to the bedchamber, her head spinning. Too much wine and too little sleep, she told herself. It was not every night that she was awakened twice with such desperate tidings. At least I could awaken. Robert would have been too drunk to rise, let alone rule. It would have fallen to Jon Arryn to deal with all of this. It pleased her to think that she made a better king than Robert.

And thus ends a successful night of ruling for Cersei. But she’s not done with being king yet.

The King’s Rights

This chapter takes place in the course of a single night, and Cersei wants nothing more than to go back to bed. So we do learn a bit about Cersei’s sleeping habits and preferenes. She outright says that she doesn’t like sleeping alone, but on the flip side, she also hates other women just that much.

None [of Cersei’s bedmaids] had pleased her, and few lasted very long. Little sneaks, the lot of them. Vapid, weepy creatures, always telling tales and trying to worm their way between me and Jaime.

Chalk another one up for Cersei referring to women as non-humans. In this case, ‘creatures’. Anyway. Cersei hates her bedroom, because Robert would occasionally visit her in it, and notes that in terms of temperature Taena’s much the same as Robert with the bonus of no rape! Isn’t that nice. There is, however, another side to this:

Of late, [Taena] had shared the queen’s bed more often than Lord Merryweather’s. Orton did not seem to mind…or if he did, he knew better than to say so.

Not Cersei’s bed, the queen’s bed. The use of rank reminds the reader of the power differential. Cersei wants Taena there for her own comfort, and so Taena goes. In this case, it’s also a reminder of when and how a woman can overrule a man.

On the political intrigue front, the narrative also recounts just what Cersei tells Taena about what was said in that council. Oh, sure, Cersei tells Taena not to betray her trust, with a reminder that she can and will hand Taena over to Qyburn. Taena responds with a not suspicious at all declaration that the only reward for her service she wants is Cersei’s affection. “It pleases me to please you,” Taena says.

This is when Cersei starts thinking about Taena’s body. Note that a good chunk of this description is all in reference to Cersei’s own body - Taena’s breasts are larger than Cersei’s, Taena herself is younger than Cersei. It’s a sexual description, but remarkably free of attraction. What Cersei’s wondering is this:

She wondered what it would feel like to suckle on those breasts, to lay the Myrish woman on her back and push her legs apart and use her like a man would use her, the way Robert would use her when the drink was in him…

This prompts Cersei to think back to her sexual relationship with Robert, by which I mean his repeated rapes of her. She doesn’t use the word rape, but it’s nevertheless clear that this was what it was. Cersei did everything she could do avoid penetrative sex with Robert, instead trying to bring him to orgasm in other ways, knowing he’d fall asleep soon afterwards. She thinks of herself as helpless during the instances of penetrative sex, and what she recalls is that afterwards she was sore and that she’d only been aroused by him the one time in the course of their fifteen-year marriage.

Cersei raised this with Robert, and his response shows the depths of his moral cowardice:

“It was not me, my lady,” he said, in a sulky sullen tone, like a child caught stealing apple cakes from the kitchen. “It was the wine. I drink too much wine.” To wash down his admission, he reached for his horn of ale.

[…]

He did remember what he did to her at night, she was convinced of that. She could see it in his eyes. He only pretended to forget; it was easier to do that than to face his shame. Deep down, Robert Baratheon was a coward.

Cersei is dead right about that much.

There’s a brief interruption while Cersei deals with her second late-night meeting. When she comes back she picks up where she left off - thinking about rape. Then committing it, outright re-enacting what Robert did to her. She starts by pinching and twisting Taena’s breasts, something Cersei recounted that Robert did to her, and when Taena protests, Cersei says that it was the wine. So she continues hurting Taena,

“I am the queen. I mean to claim my rights.”

This is rape. The point in what Cersei’s doing was to rape Taena. She deliberately did not ask before initiating sexual content. She deliberately ignored Taena’s stated discomfort. She deliberately invoked her status as queen while continuing to touch Taena. While Taena might have been expecting Cersei to make sexual advances on her at some point, and while she might be aroused, neither of those things is consent to this scene. This was entirely Cersei’s point. She negated the possibility that Taena might consent, because she doesn’t want Taena’s consent.

Earlier in the chapter, Cersei thought ‘Ser Loras lusts for glory as real men lust for women.’ Which is classic toxic masculinity, complete with the homophobia inherent to that toxic masculinity. So here we see Cersei trying to be that ‘real man’ in raping Taena, as she herself was raped.

She gets no sexual pleasure from it, nor any peace. Cersei continues comparing herself to Robert, searching for whatever pleasure he got in violating her, hoping to understand why. All she finds is further contempt for Robert. The sex scene in the present is mixed with Cersei’s memories of the past - specifically in how Cersei cleaned up afterwards, imagining it as “eating Robert’s heirs.” Not even the most violent of Cersei’s fantasies can do anything for her sexually in this situation.

In the end, Cersei thinks that sex had only ever been good for her with Jaime (whose absence is understated but noticeable throughout the chapter, depriving Cersei of both the political and sexual partner she imagined). She does not allow Taena to touch her, rolls over, and goes back to sleep denying that this had ever happened.

Drunkenly raping her bedmate and deliberately forgetting/not-forgetting that it happened. Truly Cersei is a far better king than Robert.

Chapter Function

As far as who’s going where in places we don’t have PoVs but do have armed conflict, in this chapter we see the Ironborn advance Euron’s plans while the sieges of Storm’s End and Dragonstone are progressed. Narratively progressed, if not otherwise. We also get a major jump in Bronn’s subplot/running joke at Cersei’s expense, and further progress on Qyburn’s experiments.

Dealing with all these issues means that this is a hugely important chapter in depicting Cersei as a ruler. Her myopia, preconceived notions (fitting the facts to her theories, rather than allowing a theory to arise from facts), paranoia, cruelty, self-satisfaction and self-delusion combine here to create a freaking disaster. Several freaking disasters. Aside from, you know, an invasion, Cersei’s actions here continue her vendetta against the Tyrells, seriously compromising a coalition she needs in order to rule. And also loses her Stokeworth.

But most dramatically, we see how Cersei’s past affects her present. As much as she hates Robert, she also emulates him and seeks to exceed him specifically. Deliberately, in the case of her rape of Taena, in a search to understand her own trauma. Less deliberately in the case of the alcoholism. Other chapters in AFFC show how Cersei’s internalised the very worst of her father, reproducing all his flaws with very few of Tywin’s already-few virtues. This chapter shows how Cersei’s done the exact same with Robert.

There are few chapters in AFFC that show this comprehensively just how unfit Cersei is to rule, on every conceiveable level. This chapter hits just about every possible reason. It’s not without sympathy for her as a person, but it doesn’t change the fundamental point the narrative’s out to demonstrate. Cersei’s a terrible king and she shows no signs of ever getting any better. She cannot imagine how to be any better. She’s actively trying to be worse.

Miscellany

Just keeping track of what Cersei calls other people - note that she calls Margaery “my lady”. Margaery is the queen.

Of late, Cersei heard soft sounds, even in her own apartments. Mice in the walls, she would tell herself, no more than that.

I don’t know what’s going on with this, but there are a few possible explanations. One, paranoia. Two, they really are out to get her. Specifically Varys is out to get her, with his comprehensive knowledge of the Red Keep and desire to stoke Cersei’s paranoia as high as it will go.

Qyburn’s phrasing that the puppeteers Cersei gave to his custody are “quite used up” is fucking chilling.

Clothing Porn

None.

Food Porn

Bread, cheese, meat pie, and apples make a simple pre-torture meal for Falyse Stokeworth.

Next Three Chapters

Catelyn VI, ASoS - Bran II, ASoS - Tyrion V, ACoK

#ASoIaF #valyrianscrolls #revisiting chapters #cw: rape #cw: violence #cersei lannister #a feast for crows

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kyogre-blue · 7 months

Text

Second chapter of CF down. Bye, Claude <3

I powered through yet another month of boring monastery stuff with the single thought of seeing Claude again (and killing him <3). If nothing else, this route is much more amusing than SS because I can see characters I care about doing stuff... as the enemy... but they're there!

Which really just highlights again how much of a missed opportunity Academy phase really is. They have all your future enemy units in the same place with you and then do basically nothing to make you care about them. It's all left onto replay or presuming they have off-screen relationships.

Aside from that, Edelgard's narrative about the Relics, human superiority and anti-dragon people is... hm. Well, it sure is a thing! Given how blatantly misconstrued some of the stuff she's saying gets (eg, about the Relics), the writers had to have been intentionally writing her as being utterly misguided, and I get that you're buying into her coolaid in the CF route. But the fact that you can't ever confront her about it in other routes despite all the "if only we could have understood each other :(" is just so.... sigh. It's unsatisfying to put it mildly.

Live blogging:

Hubert and Ferdie B: Hubert goes against Edelgard's explicit orders for something.

Felix says he's killed tons of people for the empire in the last five years and has the same look in his eyes now as Dimitri. lol

Dimitri with both eyes <3

Hubert's pre-Bridge conversation is hilarious. We need to cooperate with the Agarthans (presented as Arundel's subordinates) because we need to topple the Church! This is a very painful decision for Edelgard because you see they used her father as a puppet and killed her siblings :( Why are we more opposed to the church than these assholes? Well, because, I guess.

Bridge mission - nothing interesting. We do fight Judith, who has a unique model but is never playable. She's holding the bridge because Acheron is useless. He shows up as a horse guy (I'm pretty sure he was a mage in another route?) and then ditches after only one turn.

Afterwards, everyone makes fun of Edelgard for doing a bad job running the war until now because she's been too into Byleth. I've heard this angle before, but I think the actual difference is kind of mixed. They made less progress in the Kingdom, but that was all on Cornelia anyway, so it comes down more to Rhea not getting captured, presumably because she didn't have Byleth weighing her down. And the Alliance situation was never a real invasion in the five year gap to begin with. SS did have Lorenz siding with the Empire, but the exact in and out is kinda... hard to track.

Anyway, now we're in the Claude killing month!

Talk about how Claude has been acting as intermediary between those that oppose the Empire and those who support it, keeping them from fighting each other. Since everyone is compromising to keep the Alliance united for now, no one has openly sided with the Empire either.

But now he's scheming something, as we know because people have been stopped from entering or leaving Derdriu.

Everyone else: Claude is a smart, tough opponent. Bernie: Who's Claude

Ladislava is tasked with managing the supply lines and keeping the Goneril territories under control.

Being betrayed by Byleth made Rhea crack. "She started laughing as if she was possessed and spouting complete gibberish..."

Edelgard: Why can't people admit defeat without fighting back first? If they're going to surrender after I crush them under my boot, why not surrender without fighting? (Logically collolary: If you choose to fight, die fighting and never surrender. Explains why she's Like That in Azure Moon: sunk cost fallacy)

Edie is "not disinterested" in romance lol

Caspar family drama: His older brother is lazy, greedy and skates by relying on his position as heir. Their grandfather was really obsessed with his second wife, Randolph's mom. And she really wanted Randolph to become the heir, but the grandfather had to step down "earlier than expected," so Caspar's dad took over the title. With all this, Caspar's brother is really worried about the possibility of I guess Randolph taking over as heir instead.

This has.... interesting implications, I guess.

First, this makes Randolph Caspar's uncle, lmao

Second, I really, really wonder if Randolph was the grandpa's biological child. His mom explicitly married in after he was already born, but she could just as easily have been the grandpa's mistress. Either way, we get a very funny inheritance situation because Randolph does not have a crest, we can see that in his battle stats. So either crest ownership just doesn't matter in this case (lol Edie), or even wilder, you can just pass on your title to a completely unrelated child. Even if they ARE related, that's likely unprovable without a crest. (lol Edie extra hard)

Third, I wonder what the exact timeline here is? Because if Caspar's dad took over recently enough, he might not have been the lord who took part in the Insurrection. That might explain why he's inexplicably so chill about helping Edie take the throne and gain a whole ton of military power.

Edie, of course, turns this around as "this is the price of taking your own desires into account when choosing an heir" and this is why "the concept of nobility is decaying" but isn't Edie opposed to nobility in the first place? And she doesn't plan to institute a democracy anyway, so isn't everyone just going to be choosing their heirs based on "their own desires"?

She goes on to say that she wants a world where the best rise to the top and succeed, "regardless of bloodline," but uuuuuh this entire situation is about how the grandpa did not follow bloodline properly...? And all this also means that Caspar's bro can absolutely be removed from his position as heir, regardless of his bloodline...?

Caspar is like "ok, so you're saying nothing would change for me in your world, right?" L M A O

The way Edie presents the history of the Relics is so... "Relics were created by the hands of mankind" imo I wouldn't really count the Agarthans as particularly human anymore, and also this wasn't exactly something triumphant. "Seiros manipulated the people of the world and defeated the all-powerful King Nemesis" Nemesis was indeed tough, but you don't need to lick his boots quite that much. "Should the one leading the people of the world by someone with humanity or a creature that can merely masquerade as a human at will?" Given that you turn into an inhuman monster when you feel like it, which side of this binary do you fall on, Edie? I personally feel that Flayn, Seteth and Rhea have plenty of humanity even if they aren't human...

"The Immaculate One and her family"... dang, this phrasing is really...

This knowledge is passed down from emperor to emperor, huh. I know this kind of thing! Naruto taught me all about it! I remember that Uchiha tablet full of bullshit!

Byleth has been compared to Nemesis now. Hm.

Claude scene <3 He's upset about Judith dying, and that many more people will die following his orders. But of course he also talks himself up "do you have any idea how much of the Alliance adores me and believes in in me?" How much? Hm... about half? I remember SS and Lorenz leading the other half.

Anyway, Nader is also here.

Linhardt stupid take: "It's as if Crests were designed to be used only in times of war." How can you use them in peace-time? My dude...

There are three gates that connect Derdriu proper to its naval port. It looks like the naval port is a reinforced, walled area where the ships must dock before any goods or people can move into the city itself.

Killed Lysithea with Caspar, but I still get the prompt to spare her. I don't like these, it's too easy!

lol Claude keeps being upset that people are too stubborn to retreat even though he tells them to. My man, this is what happens when the Alliance adores you, it's called ride or die for a reason

The Almyran King fighting on the front lines... as expected.

Nader has been a soldier for 30-odd years. Incidentally, he retreats rather than outright being killed like Judith and Hilda... and Claude. It seems he has no dialogue for if Claude is killed first. Too bad!

#playing fire emblem

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gofancyninjaworld · 1 year

Text

Call this the anti-Scooby gang plot

Wait, what?

So, the latest manga chapter of One-Punch Man (update 231, online: chapter 184, fan-translation: chapter 186) may be similar to chapter 108 of the webcomic, but it's Not The Same. And one of those differences is very important:

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoaaaaa. Scheduled? SCHEDULED? Leaks scheduled by who? Why?

Yes, I know it's the Neo-Hero scouts. I'm shocked that they're that confident that Genos will choose to jump ship rather than go to the HA and tell them that there's an organized smear campaign planned against them. Yes, they're right that Genos has no loyalty to the HA. Still, that takes some balls: that could go so badly wrong.

So, these scouts must have approached, what, at least a dozen of the most powerful heroes on the planet and told them about plans to undermine the Hero Association.

We know that the S-Class heroes in the manga are an astute bunch and that they're not too proud to talk to each other and take joint action. If they wanted to foil the Neo Heroes, they could. Seriously, imagine Genos thought the HA needed protecting. Imagine that Child Emperor thought the same. Imagine that Fubuki saw the curiously insecure back end of the HA's servers and thought 'damn, I need to warn them and see to it that something is done' rather than think how she might extract advantage from it.

Why aren't they? Because no one loves the Hero Association.

How do you misuse me? Let me count the ways

And why would they? The Hero Association was founded specifically so that the individuals who feel themselves moved to do good in the world wouldn't have to choose between doing good deeds and making rent, but in a hundred little (and not so little) ways, they've shown heroes that they're not at the centre of the organisation.

Shit pay

The shit pay is a frequent plot point. I've spoken already about Tatsumaki apparently unable to afford a good home. When the number two hero lives in a shitty old house, think how bad it has to be for everyone else. If they were coining it in, Metal Bat would have a nanny for Zenko so he could afford to work full-time as a hero rather than only during school hours. He's one of their longest-serving and most loyal heroes.

Terrible benefits

Instead of helping, the HA reads it as his being uncommitted and punishes him with low ranking (and corresponding worse pay). Just like IRL organizations treat working mothers. Hell, the HA has been positively vindictive in how slow they've been to raise Metal Bat's rank. Despite spotting his talent early, when the other low-ranking heroes were swept up into the newly-created Class S six months after founding the HA, do you know when they put him in Class S? A year ago.

You put it together and go 'wait, so for a year and a half, Metal Bat's had to watch heroes far weaker and less capable than he is be promoted over his head while he barely makes ends meet?' You start to understand why hero relationships are so often fraught.

It's a burning indictment of the Hero Association that Metal Bat jumped ship on being offered child care. If the Hero Association's standards of care were any lower, they'd be subterranean. They didn't deserve his loyalty.

The Hero Association pays its heroes the bare minimum they can get away with, despite collecting billions on their behalves. It's interesting to note that almost every hero on their roster is a young, single man. I remarked on this demographic seven years ago on Reddit. I know, what was I thinking? That the membership there had eyes and brains -- so foolish. As the story has progressed, I'm vindicated on this.

Yes, a lot of hero work is hard and physical, but that's not the whole story. Anyone with a family to support or caring responsibilities will find themselves pushed out -- god forbid your parents grow old. Add to it that they don't encourage teamwork or cooperation and the isolation of it will repulse a lot of women. Good, strong, capable ones. And as the story shows, there are a lot of them out there:

in a big population, even a small proportion of people is a sizeable demographic -- the HA has put off a lot of people who could have helped

Not to mention that as soon as you start thinking of marrying, you'll leave, even if you're the sort of loser dude who hates the idea of a man doing 'women's work'. Because you know that the HA is not going to be there for you or your family if you get hurt, and while you're okay taking risks for your own sake, subjecting your family to the same... no thank you. Sekingar's then-fiance making him choose between being a hero and marrying her really comes to mind.

Leaving aside poor pay and benefits, let's talk more broadly about the industrial relations disaster that exists between HA management and the heroes.

Disrespectful names

Shitty disrespectful hero names that leave their recipients feeling bullied, and no good way to change that name.

Inadequate, inconsistent support

The total lack of an effective mentoring program, not to mention the unreasonable and even unethical demands on them:

Not to mention an excessively harsh disciplinary regime

A lack of anyone actually looking out for heroes

We watch Busho, a junior official, try to get better conditions for the heroes on the ground and see his appeal go nowhere.

Disastrous leadership

The fact that most of the executives appear to be just... wet. People who have position but nothing behind it to inspire respect:

The fact that heroes are hurting with the desire to see actual competent leadership:

Sleazy practices that offend heroes:

It all adds up to not what heroes signed up for

Anyway, the important thing is that heroes, ALL HEROES, are working to make the world a better place. They aren't there to be loyal employees. If someplace else will let them work as heroes with less nonsense, they'll move.

No love lost

And that's why the heroes who could stop this Neo Hero plot right here, right now, aren't lifting a finger. It's like watching the Scooby Gang get told who's behind the creepy funfair at the outset, shrug, and go, 'eh, let him get away with it.'

Probably the only hero who actually cares about the Hero Association is Metal Knight, as he literally built a lot of it. But he's fucking furious at the top brass right now, for good reason. He probably thinks they deserve to suffer a little.

The heroes have no idea what kind of evil they're letting into the world. But then again, none of them are Madame Shiwababwa.

#OPM #meta #heroes #Hero Association #Neo Heroes #the heroes who could stop it are letting the Hero Association be attacked #because they're just that disgusted with the HA #True the HA doesn't deserve its heroes #However the new angel is much less than angelic

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