#one of the biggest reasons I think this happens honestly is because of this:
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do you happen to have any other bls with toxic kings up your sleeve? i’m as giddy as you when it comes to ming! i’m newer to bls, so there’s a good chance i haven’t seen whatever you suggest.
Anon, I have an entire roster of toxic characters because
I LOVE TOXIC BITCHES!
Like 2 Chainz rapped on one of my favorite songs, "I love bad bitches, that's my fuckin' problem" which is why I HATE when a story won't allow characters to be toxic. Like we all know the character IS toxic, but the story keeps telling us he isn't that bad or he is only that bad because reasons. Regardless of the reasons, the character is a bad bitch so why not just let him fucking own it, which is truly the reason Only Friends pissed me off so much.
Case and point, my favorite characters were Ray and Nick. Ray was calling Sand a whore every two seconds and throwing money at him, while Nick was recording non-consexual sex tapes, yet the narrative wanted me to think they were just sad dudes who were slightly problematic.
NAH! Nick straight up said he was trash! THEY WERE TOXIC just like everyone else in that damn show!
Which is why I liked Kang in Dangerous Romance because I don't feel like the narrative eased up on his toxicity. In fact, I feel like the story said Sailom was into it with that master/servant scene at the very end.
So in order for me to love a toxic character, they must 1) be considered toxic by the story, and 2) stay toxic, so I'm going to give you a list of ten of my favorites, but know that spoilers are coming your way too. Also know that I do not recommend anything, ever, so these are not recommendations. These are merely my favorite toxicitos.
Mis tóxicos favoritos
presented in no particular order
Todd - Not Me
This man had his lover (it's canon to me) beat into a coma. Then, he went and grabbed that man's twin brother and made him take on his lover's persona all so he could overthrow his competition and be the number one evil capitalist. And then, AND THEN, he was excited to see his lover, Black, return even though he knew that meant he was probably going to die. Honestly, his entire relationship with Black was toxic, and I desperately need more of it. Not Me 2: Blackout when? WHEN, GMMTV?!
Rio & Kido - The Novelist Series
Rio blew Kido in front of an old man in broad daylight, so they could get a book deal. That's just one of the many fucked up things these two did together, but they were even worse apart. Rio lied to a college student for months about his arm being injured and writing pornographic novels just to turn on the college student and fuck him because . . . he was bored? It's deeper than that, but it kinda ain't. Rio and Kido did toxic shit to feel alive and that's my special brand of toxic. I will never make excuses for them. I like them this way.
Yai - Big Dragon
The very beginning of this show, as in the very first scene, is Yai and Mangkorn having sex AFTER Yai drugged Mangkorn in hopes of sexually assaulting him and recording it. AND MANGKORN IS INTO IT! Yai tries to steal Mangkorn's phone and ruin his life too, but Mangkorn is so in love with Yai, that he is willing to play along with whatever Yai does including fighting Yai. This is one of my favorite BLs for a multitude of reasons, but the biggest is because instead of trying to tame Yai, Mangkorn just decided to match his toxic energy! I love that for them.
Songpol - Club Friday
Bank plays toxic very well, which is why he has two characters on this list, even though this show isn't technically a BL. Club Friday is already a hot mess express, so to be the most toxic character in a show filled with toxic characters means that Songpol was TOK-SICK! He cheated on his boyfriend with multiple men. When his boyfriend left him for a woman, he showed up outside of that woman's house calling her a whore. He then went to their wedding just so he could fuck his ex in a bathroom (on his wedding day). He continued to hook up with his ex, and sent a video to his ex's wife of them having sex, only for her to tell him to move into the house and continue having sex with her husband! AND THAT'S ONLY THE SECOND EPISODE! He was serving telenovela villain, and I want him back.
Vegas - KinnPorsche
The scene: Vegas' beloved hedgehog has just died and he has carried out a tiny funeral for him while the bodyguard he has been holding hostage AND TORTURING comforts him, but instead of sitting in that grief, Vegas tells the bodyguard that the bodyguard is probably turned on by seeing Vegas weak, then proceeds to fuck him. Skipping over the fact that Vegas drugged Porsche, killed Tawan, got Big and Ken murdered by extension, and a plethora of other horrible shit, Vegas was a HUGE red flag from the very beginning, and I wanted him to choke me so badly. *bites knuckles*
Charn - Laws of Attraction
He had his reasons, but the story and his husband didn't let that be an excuse for his toxic behavior. He tried burning down Tinn's house, with Tinn and his grandmother in it, and Tinn was very upset about it. Not enough to not sleep with Charn, but enough to get his point across that if Charn wanted to burn something down, he needed to focus on burning down the oppressive heteronormative government, so we could all have basic human rights. Toxic, but for the cause.
Chalothon - The Sign
I knew he was a problem because the way he handled his patients, but he truly proved how toxic he was when he told Phaya he would kill Tharn before letting Phaya have him. I'm mad that the show made him good in the last episode, with most of if being off-screen, but I'll always remember how he committed psychological warfare on Phaya for eleven episodes in hopes of making Phaya seem crazy, and actually made Tharn, Phaya's soulmate, question Phaya's sanity.
Mol - 180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us
The only woman on this list and she isn't even queer. That's how toxic this chick was that she made it on a this list being a heterosexual, which was a major part of her toxicity. She is a top-tier gaslighter to her son. She doesn't actually consider Inn her friend. She uses feminist rhetoric to be homophobic. She manipulates every situation in her favor by using tears. I could write a list just about her being lead paint toxic, but the most fucked up part is that she got to ride off into the sunset with her son in the passenger seat being miserable, which is what she wanted. No other BL parent could reach her level. Korn and Gun from KinnPorsche exist, yet this woman would eat them alive without hesitation, then go throw a party for herself. She really is that bitch.
Yong Jie - HIStory 4: Close to You
I'm not going to bullshit around him being a whole ass problem. This motherfucker is the most controversial pick on this list, and I am well aware of why he is hated by the people, but the story told us he was the devil. The show treated everything he did like stalking, physical assault, and sexual assault as horrible, and he got knocked out for it. HIStory 4 is my favorite BL, ever, and part of it is because the story let this toxic motherfucker BE toxic. I love how much I hate him, and I love how much the story allows me to hate him.
So - House of Stars
This show was a mess, so I was not expecting this man to come out as THE toxic king to rule over every other toxic character. What made him so toxic is that I had no idea just how toxic he was until the exact moment I realized it, and that's why he is one of my favorites. He was sneaky. He was playing everyone against each other. He was letting the bodies stack up. He was Tan from Dead Friend Forever without anyone figuring out he was Tan. One person realized part of his plan, but even then, that person was not aware of how committed to the bit So was. This smile was the very last scene of the show, and it really proved that this boy ruined everyone's lives only to walk out of it completely unbothered. You know, king shit.
#toxic kings#I love toxic bitches#it's the unhinged behavior and mind games that always gets me#house of stars#history 4: close to you#180 degree longitude passes through us#club friday#kinnporsche#big dragon#laws of attraction#the sign#not me#the novelist
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Can you go a bit more in depth about your post about Sokka in the Burning Rock episode? You said that it was basically his suicide mission, which I agree with. I'd really like to hear more of your thoughts on it.
okay yeah i mean i'm sure i've covered all these points before extensively because i love weaving a tapestry of sokka's fucked up psychological landscape more than anything in the world, but every so often someone will comment on one of my posts and be like "i think you're reaching i think sokka is the paragon of mental health actually" and i'm just like um. did we not all watch the boiling rock. did we just ignore the apotheosis of sokka's entire character arc. like katara's apotheosis in "the southern raiders" is both very overt and impactful and also, arguably, subtler than sokka's, because they don't explicitly spell out the themes every five seconds, but like. if you didn't watch the boiling rock then you cannot understand sokka. and weirdly enough i also believe that zuka shippers are the biggest culprit of this despite this episode being thee zucchini episode because they somehow still have the audacity to characterize sokka as "goofy sunshine who exists to comfort zuko" when like. the entire point is that sokka is legitimately suicidal here and zuko is doing everything in his power to support him thru what is quite literally a mental breakdown. like their relationship is legitimately interesting i don't understand how people have taken that and made it deeply boring.....but i digress.
the boiling rock is quite obviously sokka at his lowest. the worst thing that could ever happen to him – fumbling a mission that was squarely his responsibility, from its conception to its execution, due to not being able to sufficiently compartmentalize his emotions, leading to the mass imprisonment of most of his comrades, including the men of his tribe whom he idolized his entire life and felt immense pressure to live up to, including his father who he is deathly afraid of disappointing (for reasons that have nothing to hakoda being malicious or neglectful in any way, fwiw), and thus being directly implicated in the failure and the harm caused by said failure – happened. sokka is someone who is especially bad at dealing with failure, because a) he is exceptionally talented, and thus has less experience dealing with failure in both minor and major ways, and thus lacks the emotional resilience developed through the process of struggle and growth that normal people (such as, incidentally, zuko) go through and b) to sokka, whose primary desire at all times is to protect and provide for others in any way he possibly can, for someone else to sacrifice themselves for him constitutes a fundamental disruption to the order. there is a perverse wrongness to kya or yue or hakoda or suki making sacrifices on their own volition, because it means that sokka has existentially failed to protect them by martyring himself. like, he somehow feels so guilty about suki being imprisoned that when azula reveals this piece of information to him, it literally distracts him from his own mission. and mind you, there's absolutely no way sokka could have known or been responsible for suki's imprisonment. but he still feels guilty nonetheless. and azula knows that, knows exactly how to twist the knife to make him break, because, well, it's honestly pretty obvious.
sokka obviously cannot retroactively save his mother or his first girlfriend, but he can save his father and his current girlfriend. in "the awakening" aang says he has to restore his honor after the guilt and shame of his failure in ba sing se (aang is also an incurable gifted kid perfectionist, btw, as is azula. posts for another time...) and sokka repeats zuko's line again in this episode, after experiencing the guilt and shame of his failure during the eclipse. the driving motivation of zuko's entire character, feeling like he has failed in some ontological way and must therefore redeem himself or die trying, is reinforced through aang and sokka's respective experiences mirroring that drive. aang goes out in a storm and nearly drowns to redeem himself in some vague, nebulous way, because he isn't thinking rationally. and likewise sokka, who usually always has a plan and always thinks things through, feels that caution and foresight is pointless, because he came up with a genuinely brilliant invasion plan and it didn't work, so clearly there's something wrong with him (just as he always suspected) and no amount of planning even matters, because he's a capital F Failure and always will be. and so he vows to save his father, as he promised him he would when they parted on the day of black sun, or die trying, because if he can't even do that then what is he good for; at least he'll die a martyr, which to him, is basically his ideal situation. because to sokka, dying as a martyr is basically the highest form of fulfilling his purpose (being needed, protecting people) and so if he dies a martyr, then maybe his catastrophic failure (that is entirely his fault and rests squarely on his shoulders btw) can be forgiven. so his plan is basically just to sacrifice himself for his father so that he can die "redeemed." very normal, rational, healthy behavior, i would say.
sidenote, i also see people claim that "the boiling rock" makes sokka look stupid because why wouldn't he take any of the insanely talented benders to a prison in a giant volcano surrounded by a boiling lake, and it's like. sokka literally admits that he's not being rational, that he doesn't think he's going to survive this, that this is not a good idea. it would go against sokka's entire modus operandi if he brought the children who he feels a deep, presiding responsibility to protect on a suicide mission that he's lowkey hoping will fail (because he not so secretly loves courting death. it's like she's the moon or something). he only lets zuko come with him because he doesn't actually care whether zuko lives or dies at this point. sokka has absolutely no faith in zuko whatsoever (and frankly, why would he, zuko has yet to actually prove himself to him. he didn't even kill combustion man; sokka did) so he has no idea that zuko is actually going to be helpful and supportive in a meaningful way. and frankly, if he had known that at the beginning, or even remotely liked zuko as a person, he probably wouldn't have caved so easily when zuko invited himself to join. if he didn't think that zuko was objectively worse than him and basically worthless as a human being, i doubt he would have let himself be so vulnerable with zuko in the first place. meanwhile zuko is eating it up bc he's like "omg he's confiding in me he's letting me help him we're basically besties" because he doesn't actually know sokka well enough to realize that sokka doesn't actually do that shit with people he remotely respects. shit like "my first girlfriend turned into the moon" and "i had a feeling this was going to be a one way trip" are simply not things that sokka would say out loud 98% of the time. the fact that he is admitting something real is not a testament to the trust he places in zuko, but rather the opposite. sokka spilling his guts (you know, for him) to his resident collateral damage, sokka bringing his lovingly crafted space sword on this mission, sokka not even confirming whether or not his father is actually there beforehand – he's simply stopped giving a fuck, he doesn't care whether or not he lives to see another day, because to him, he has nothing left to lose.
but of course, that also isn't true at all. i mean, for one thing, zuko still needs to teach aang firebending, so he does serve a pretty important function to the group, and zuko simply telling him to do hot squats in his absence does not qualify as significant tutelage. but also, even more importantly, sokka is integral to the fabric of the group. when he's gone for a day in "sokka's master" they literally all just shut down and start complaining about how much they miss him (we don't actually see any b-roll of the gaang hanging around the western air temple because the episode is simply too busy for that, so who can say whether the same thing occurs twice). sokka cannot afford to simply die just because his first plan failed, he still has a major responsibility to his friends. fucking idiot. i've said before that sokka has the emotional resilience of like. a pathetic wet newborn kitten caught in the rain. but like, come on man. i mean, as someone who has also suffered from debilitating perfectionist issues and never had to be responsible for a failed military invasion that cost my people their freedom, i do get it, but still. not his best moment. although there is something genuinely admirable about the fact that after he finds suki, he decides that saving suki is enough, and genuinely does want to succeed in his mission going forward. like his love for suki is one of the only things that consistently makes him happy and makes him forget that his greatest dream in life is to be murdered, and that's so beautiful to me.
the entire point of this episode, by the way, is that sokka is wrong. if that isn't obvious. sokka's entire worldview, that he only has value insofar as he exists to provide for others, and if he fails to protect people in any capacity, he has fundamentally failed to uphold the one reason he even exists on this earth, and thus he does not deserve to exist unless he is bearing the weight of everyone's suffering or otherwise proving his worth through sacrificing himself for others, is um. fucking stupid???? and incorrect. and stupid. the thing is, unlike zuko, sokka can't really point to any one person who taught him to see himself this way. he can't just face his father and tell him that his abuse was cruel and wrong, because hakoda is a good father who has never not supported and believed in and encouraged him, done everything in his power to protect him, loved him unconditionally. hakoda has inadvertently damaged sokka's psyche in various ways, of course, but never with any intention to hurt him. like, ozai tried to kill zuko, on multiple occasions. it's a pretty obvious indicator of the primary source of harm in his life. but sokka is equally if not more Unwell, and there's no one single figure he can blame, because his complex lies within a tangled web of what my best friend fanon calls the "massive psychoexistential complex" of the colonized subject. he is being dehumanized not through interpersonal abuse, but through the violent logic of imperialism. sokka's formative traumas inform his psychology as he understands that he only has value insofar as he is protecting the people he loves (namely his sister) from being murdered by imperialists, much like his mother did. and that logic is continually reified through the violence he is being subjected to, until he truly absorbs the belief that his life has no value on its own, that he is genuinely Less than [human] in some fundamental way. which is obviously deeply tragic, but also lowkey kind of comical because he also happens to be the specialest boy in the world, who literally did come up with multiple working escape plans at the world's most secure supermax on the fly, mind you! but whenever anyone tries to point that out, including piandao literally saying "you're the most exceptional and worthy person i've ever met in my life" sokka is just like "um. that is incorrect actually." like NO ONE should depersonalize themselves and feel that their only value lies in their ability to serve and sacrifice themselves for others, but it's especially ironic that sokka literally does not think he has any value as a human being, and yet he is also objectively exceptional. like, do you understand why i adore this character so much. do you.
anyway. the point of this episode isn't that sokka has worth because he's exceptional, either. that's lowkey the point of "sokka's master," but also a) sokka doesn't really internalize it and b) the more important part of the episode lies in how much the gaang just misses his company because they miss their neurotic control freak big brother who makes bad jokes. but even if he couldn't come up with multiple working escape plans on the fly, suki and zuko still stay by his side anyway because they care about him. they are demonstrating that they would risk their safety and possibly even their lives, in the exact way that sokka is always trying to for everyone else, for him. that sokka doesn't need to be the one who always protects everyone else, and that he isn't a failure for letting people who care about him help him and protect him. and sokka has to accept their help, because suki and zuko are simply too stubborn not to force him into letting them support him. they are standing in a literal maximum security prison in the middle of a volcano and they are still choosing to prioritize sokka's mental health and wellbeing, which is honestly crazy, but also exactly what he needs in this moment. suki has known sokka for what, 3 days maximum? yes they're soulmates but like, girl get up. and in zuko's case, "girl get up" is magnified tenfold, because he literally risked his life to go with him to the boiling rock (also largely motivated by the guilt of not being able to stage his own prison break with iroh, but still!) and let himself get imprisoned despite being the fire nation's most wanted criminal, stayed by sokka's side no matter what including getting thrown into a literal torture chamber for him, jumped across a gaping boiling chasm with no guarantee that he'd survive except for the implicit expectation that sokka would catch him on the other side. like zuko is so fucking pussywhipped and sokka didn't even value him as a human being until like halfway through their entire mission. insane.
in conclusion: "the boiling rock" is a beautiful story of the most mentally ill boy on the planet (he took first place ever since jet died rip jet forever in our hearts), and his two ride or die bitches who he met like yesterday, and also his dad, and a casual homophobe named chit sang, all working together to demonstrate to him why killing yourself is a bad idea in most cases, probably. it's also the story of the most insane dyke drama of all time, but that's for another post (of which i have of course made multiple, most recently, here). i said it's the apotheosis of sokka's arc, and by that i mean it's the most overt acknowledgement of what his fundamental issue is, and the first steps one must take in actually resolving it (namely, accepting help and support from your peers and loved ones). do i think that sokka is magically cured after returning from the boiling rock? no, probably not (in fact, because i'm somewhat sick & twisted myself, i like to imagine that once the war ends, he actually gets worse). but he does seem genuinely happier after they return. and maybe that's just bc kyoshi warrior pussy hits different, but like. he was able to rely on others for help (including mai my best friend mai) who supported him unconditionally and prevented him from simply giving up, and that's so incredibly important. that kind of support is always important, to everyone, of course, but as we've established, it's especially important to sokka specifically, at his lowest (quite possibly ever), in this situation. no one has an obligation to risk their life for someone else, but sokka is something who thinks that his purpose is to risk his life for other people (namely katara), and so for people who really have nothing to gain and everything to lose in standing by and promising not to leave without him, to actually show that they support him unconditionally is huge. if sokka has no fans then i am dead and so is suki zuko hakoda toph aang piandao iroh the mechanist etc etc etc. perfect episode <3
#suicide /#writergracethepanda#asks#analysis#sokka#sokkaxsuki#cinematic masterpiece the boiling rock part 2#(technically i use that tag to talk about maizulee but swagever)#this post is basically just stream of consciousness unstructured rambling so i hope you find it valuable in some way...#at this point i've given up on trying to do Readings of and make Arguments about sokka#and i'm just rambling. i posted a whole fucking. ACTUAL essay about him yesterday and no one read it#but this is not that. this is. who even knows. it's certainly not an ''essay''#my thesis statement: i love sokka so much#my body paragraphs: hes a weak willed mentally ill fucking IDIOT#just trust me ok. trust the process
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I think it would be interesting if there was like, a documentary or smth like a deep dive focused on the phenomenon I like to dub the "monkey's paw" of the internet which is where a content creator quickly rises to fame/quickly becomes popular but are then pitted against so much slander, controversies, hate, and/or discourse that it either ruins that person's content creating career or damages it to a degree that will never be fixed
because it keeps happening. over and over I've seen content creators suddenly rise out of the depths and gain masses of followers only for it to topple like a poorly-played jenga tower only a few years later due to controversies and hate. meanwhile, other content creators build a following in a slow, steady way where while they might not be that known, the people who do know them support them wholeheartedly.
And I want to know WHY this keeps happening. I have a lot of theories on this (jealousy of success breeding extreme hate, sudden fame clouding judgement and leading to poor decisions, the lack of trust the apprehension more and more people are having towards newer famous people nowadays, etc) but it would be nice to once day get more than just these theories on why this keeps happening, and if this "trend" will ever stop or just get worse as time progresses
#one of the biggest reasons I think this happens honestly is because of this:#the ccs that build followings over a span of years and years before achieving 'popularity' have a more solid community#that's been built on a strong and steady foundation of mutual trust and respect#there's less of a gap between the creator and the viewer.#meanwhile the ccs that blow up early don't have this luxury for the most part. they become popular so fast and so rapidly#there's not enough time to establish that strong foundation that the 'smaller' ccs already have#and there's a large gap between cc and the fans as the cc is idolized and the cc can't keep up with the sheer number of fans to establish a#truer connection with them. like sure they'll get fanart and fan content and whatnot. but it doesn't feel the same#so when a 'smaller' cc makes a mistake they're more likely to be forgiven bc of that stronger community and connection#but when the quick-to-rise cc makes a mistake? combining what I said earlier with the sheer amount of people who hate the cc#just for getting famous quickly... best case scenario there's just mild discourse and 'antis' yelling they knew the cc was the devil or smt#worst case scenario.... well. we've all seen stuff like that happen on multiple occasions. haven't we?
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hello! I would love to pre-order your book, but which of the pre-order options is the best for you, and gets you the highest cut of the book price? I want to choose the one that will most help you continue to spread love and joy and chaos in this world
here is a little INSIDE BASEBALL. bestseller lists are very important in way of marketing and way of how much bookstores order of your book. when camp damascus came out it was very close in NUMBERS to certain highly talked about best seller list but that list is not just numbers it is also WHERE and WHEN and HOW things are bought and it is also partially editorial (and very complicated). however this time BURY YOUR GAYS could possibly get higher than camp damascus and land on this list who knows but it is within realm of possibility on this timeline. WHOA COOL. i understand this is shrouded in mystery but i think buckaroos can read between lines.
anyway first step in making this happen is PREORDERS. i know buckaroos are used to video game preorders which is a very bad situation, but in world of BOOKS preorders are everything. it is honestly number one way to support a writer for many reasons but top reason is every preorder over year counts towards first week sales which means BESTSELLER LIST PLACEMENT and THAT sets of whole chain reaction into 'mainstream trot' (i like to picture this as queer dinosaurs and bigfeet and living concepts kicking open the doors to a board room in a high rise but you can imagine whatever you would like)
so NUMBER ONE thing you can do is take the time to actually preorder and not just wait even if you want to get it later.
however to answer your question direct: that certain bestseller list mentioned above only counts HARDCOVER SALES not ebook and not audiobook. this is tough for chuck because audiobook is my personal trot however you asked so i will answer directly: this most important thing is FORMAT
so i would say if you want to have the biggest splash as we kick open the door of this boardroom as shirtless dinosaurs bigfeet unicorns and living objects, it would be:
a HARDCOVER that is PREORDERED. and if you can, from an INDIE BOOKSTORE
preorder here
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keep it on the low
pairing: joel miller x f!reader
summary: just because you and joel broke up doesn't mean you can't still (secretly) enjoy each other's company
warnings: 18+ MDNI, language, hurt/angst, ex!joel, possessive!joel, pwp, smut, post-breakup sex, rough sex, mild exhibitionism
word count: 3k
a/n: all i can say is oops. blame sza, i guess. and of course, couch gif for obvious reasons. as always, thoughts and feedback are always appreciated!
Joel’s being obvious again. Discretion’s never been his strong suit, but he’s especially attuned to you today, and not in a good way. He’s not undressing you with his eyes, itching for the moment he can take you home like he usually is.
Nope, he just looks irritated as fuck. Way too angry for someone who just happens to be sitting in the same room as his ex. If he keeps this up, you’re going to get caught, and then what are you going to do? Fuck other people?
Like that’ll ever happen. You and Joel broke up almost three months ago and yet here you are, still hooking up like there’s no one else in this town to have sex with. But you have an agreement…sort of. You keep sleeping together, you don’t talk about it, and you definitely don’t tell anyone else. It’s high school-level dramatic and, honestly, you’re both way too old for this shit.
You know everyone’s gossiping about you behind your back, trying to figure out why you’re not together anymore. It was a bad breakup, probably the worst you’ve ever had and the biggest Jackson’s ever seen. The second this town hall is over, they’ll all be chatting amongst themselves, analyzing your behavior like it’s any of their business.
And Joel’s only giving them more to talk about. Seriously, why is he staring at you like that? If you can keep your eyes to yourself for an hour, surely he can at least pretend to be listening to what Maria’s saying, even though it’s boring as hell and doesn’t apply to either of you in the slightest. The winter dance next week really isn't your thing, no offense to her, but at least you're trying to look interested.
You shoot him a quick glare across the room, and he rolls his eyes, finally shifting his focus elsewhere. Apparently, that little interaction is all it takes to stir up the gossip mill because you can already hear a few of the worst offenders whispering to each other.
Fucking vultures. You’re pretty sure half of them are trying to make a move on Joel now that you’re over. Too bad he’s still busy spending his nights buried inside you.
The meeting ends pretty quickly after that, and everyone gets up from their seats, some staying to help put away folding chairs and others loitering around before they head to dinner. Somehow, Joel ends up next to you as you’re walking out, probably on purpose, and you take the opportunity to tell him off.
“Way to be fucking obvious, asshole,” you mumble, hoping no one else can hear you. “Did you have to stare at me like that? You made it seem like I spat in your fucking coffee this morning.”
He scoffs loudly, and you elbow him in the side, throwing him a warning glance. He’s acting like he wants everyone to know what you’re trying so hard to hide and it’s really starting to piss you off.
“Wasn’t lookin’ at you any sorta way, darlin’. You’re the one makin’ a fuss and gettin’ everyone’s attention,” he smirks. It’s not even fair how good he looks when he does that.
You feel a strong urge to slap it off his face, but that’s not really an option right now. An annoyingly intrusive thought tells you to save it for later when you’re alone, but you push it to the back of your mind. He’d probably enjoy that, anyways.
You quirk an eyebrow as subtly as you can. “…Are you kidding me? I wasn’t the one glaring at you the entire meeting.”
He looks around pointedly. “Ya think you’re not makin' it worse right now?”
You pause to take in your surroundings, and he’s right. You’re making a scene unnecessarily when you could’ve just ignored him and gone home like you’d planned. This is exactly why everyone thinks the breakup was your fault. Why they all think you're the villain in his story.
Joel knows just how to bring out the worst in you and you hate it. It’s one of the reasons you broke up in the first place. He pretends like everything’s fine and nothing’s ever his fault, and you’re constantly tricked into proving him right. But today he’s being purposely antagonistic and you can’t tell why.
“Oh, fuck you, Joel,” you grit through your teeth. “Stay the fuck away from me.”
He doesn’t.
Not even a few hours later, he’s at your back door—like always, so no one sees him come and go—eyeing you a little wildly. Hungrily. And suddenly, it all makes sense.
He's horny. Probably has been all day, judging by his behavior earlier. He doesn’t say anything, just lurches forward to kiss you, to get his hands on you, but your arms shoot out to stop him.
“Uhh, what are you doing? Pretty sure I told you to leave me the fuck alone.”
He’s already panting as if he ran all the way here, but the tent in his pants tells you otherwise. His heart is racing under your palms, and while you haven’t forgotten how furious you still are, the fact that he’s this desperate for you makes you want to.
"Yeah, but ya didn't mean it. Ya never mean it,” he says like he knows you so well. You hate that he does, but the last thing you’re going to do is admit it.
“Why the fuck would I say it if I didn't?" you scoff.
"'Cus it's more fun that way," he leans in again, but you jerk your head back. Is he serious? It’s not like you normally have a nice little chat before you fuck, but he usually has more patience than this.
“Joel, stop. Are you trying to get us caught?” you eye him incredulously. It’s dark out and, yeah, you’re not having this conversation on the porch where anyone can see you, but other people’s windows still face your yard. He’s acting ridiculous.
"Maybe I wanna get caught,” he replies smugly, crowding you against the door. “Maybe I want everyone to know who ya belong to.”
His eyes are unreadable, and you’re caught between shock and intense curiosity. But then, that familiar feeling of fury returns, and you allow that to win out. You reach behind you for the doorknob, twisting it open to back inside.
“No. Nope, that’s not happening today,” you say with finality, yanking him by the collar into the house. You shove his back against the door, slamming it shut, and your grip tightens on his shirt. He’s smirking again, and it somehow looks even better on his face now than it did earlier.
“There’s my girl,” he breathes out, his hands finding your waist to pull you closer. It sends an unwitting wave of heat through you, a gasp escaping your lips before you can stop it. Fuck. He hasn’t called you that since before the breakup. Because it hasn’t been true since then, or at least that’s what you tell yourself.
“Only in here. Right, Joel?” He nods his head slowly, but his eyes betray him. He doesn’t believe that for one second.
“Sure, darlin’. Whatever you say.”
And, for now, that’s enough for you. You crash your lips into his hard enough to bruise and he groans into your mouth, rocking his hips into your belly so you can feel him straining in his jeans. It’s a little dizzying knowing just how much he wants you. How much he always wants you.
Flipping your positions to lead him backward, you reach down to unbutton his pants, your lips still moving languidly against his. Your fingertips purposely skim his bulge as you tug down his zipper, and he bucks into your hand, something soft and needy rumbling out of his chest.
More layers of clothing are stripped off and thrown haphazardly on the floor, leaving a trail from the kitchen to the living room, until the backs of his legs bump into the couch. All that's left now are his boxers, your underwear, and your bra. You make quick work of the latter yourself, dropping it to the floor, and then kick off your underwear, smirking at the look of sheer yearning on his face.
He reaches out to touch you, fingertips only managing to graze the side of your breast before you slap his hand away. He's not allowed to touch you until the playing field is even and he's as bare as you are. He already knows that.
His eyes are so dark, pupils dilated until that gentle brown has almost completely disappeared, and the way he's looking at you is reminiscent of a different time. You ignore it, focusing on all of the things you know he's about to do to your body instead. It'll help you forget whatever you just recognized in his gaze for a little while.
You tug on the waistband of his boxers, letting them snap back into his hips.
"Off," you tell him simply, giving him enough time to pull them down before you shove him onto the cushions. You climb into his lap, hands settling on his shoulders as you lower yourself down to drag your wet folds across his cock.
He hisses a breath through his teeth, his fingers digging into your hips to guide you, and you let him slick himself up against your pussy. He's so hard below you, looking painfully and almost angrily red at the tip. You sigh at the repeated friction on your clit and he twitches at the sound, dribbling precum that immediately mixes with your wetness.
"Need to be inside you. Now," he moans breathily, burying his face between your tits. He turns his head slightly to nip at the sensitive skin, and you tremble, trailing a hand up the side of his neck to bury in his soft curls. "You ready for me, darlin'?"
You nod quickly, chest heaving as you lift enough to reach down and wrap your fingers around him. Pumping him a few times, you drag the tip between your folds before lining him up with your entrance. He pants damply into your chest, more precum leaking out in anticipation.
And then you're dropping onto him, crying out loudly as you impale yourself on his cock. His hips shoot up off the couch, forcing himself deeper into your cunt, and he lets out a pained whoosh of air, adjusting to you as much as you are to him.
"Shit, that's—," he chokes out a moan as you start to move, "—tight. Fuckin' grippin' me, Christ."
You purposely squeeze him a little harder, exhaling sharply out your nose when his nails bite into your skin.
"Yeah, because you barely fucking fit," you tease breathily.
But it's more than that. You mold around him like you were made to take it, soft sighs leaving your lips as you ride him slowly. He fits perfectly, something that took precious time, his cock finding a home inside you over and over, reshaping your walls in his image. The lock to his key.
You bury that thought, too—with every swivel of your hips, every brush of your clit against his skin. He latches onto your breast, sucking a nipple into his mouth as you continue to work him.
His eyes flutter shut, hands beginning to guide you up and down a little faster as he swirls searing circles around the nub until it peaks. He tugs at it sharply with his teeth and you gasp, a spear of heat lancing through your spine as you gush around him.
It all feels so…fuck, he knows exactly how you like it. And both of you can hear how much you like it, feel how sticky you're making his lap. The slide around his cock is wet and easy, and your pussy's gripping him even tighter, but you need…god, you need—
"Joel, fuck me—come on, fuck me," you whimper, tugging him away from your tits by his hair, and he responds immediately. Taking over, he establishes a frantic, steady rhythm, lifting you until just the tip is inside, and forcing you back down.
But it's still not hard or fast enough to satisfy the way he needs you right now. He wraps his arms fully around your waist to hold you in place, pistoning his hips into you, forcing increasingly louder haahs out of your chest.
"That's it, darlin', take it…take it," he groans, head tilting back so he can observe every subtle change of expression as he gives you exactly you asked for. He leans up to capture your lips, but it's not so much a kiss as an exchange of breath, soft and humid as you pant heavily into each other mouths.
It quiets you for a brief moment—potentially the best possible moment, because out of nowhere, you hear faint voices passing by outside. They're way too close for comfort, and you realize belatedly that you made a huge mistake earlier.
"W-wait, the curtains—shit, the curtains…ngh…are still open," you barely manage to gasp out. "Fuck, the windows are open."
It doesn't deter him in the slightest and, instead, spurs him on. "S'alright, it's dark in here. They can't see us," he rasps, keeping up his merciless pace.
Ducking his head down, he sucks hard on a sensitive spot—your favorite spot—right above your collarbone, and you whimper much louder than you mean to.
"They can still fucking hear us," you all but growl, feeling your thighs start to quake despite your growing panic.
"Good, let 'em," he laughs almost cruelly, and he sounds so possessive that it stuns you momentarily. He takes the opportunity to abruptly tug you off his lap and toss you onto your back across the cushions, fucking back into you before you can even process the shift in position.
Now that he's on top of you, pressing down with his entire weight, his pelvis grinds into your already swollen clit with every single thrust, and you can't help the wail that escapes your parted lips.
He doesn't hesitate to pull you close, hugging your head to his neck as if he's trying to block out the rest of the world. Everything and everyone, but you and him.
"Always so loud for me. C'mon, darlin', lemme hear ya," he murmurs into your hair, hips snapping into yours. "I know you can be louder than that. Scream for me."
And you do. There's nothing else you could've done anyway, not with how he's dragging against everything just right. Your hips desperately swivel into his, chasing that hot, slick friction every time he connects with you.
The slap-slap-slap of your skin on his becomes a deep, wet thock-thock-thock the closer you get, your pussy dripping pathetically down his cock, fluttering with your impending release. He can feel it, you know he can, because he's moaning loud enough to rival even you now. He ruts greedily into you, hitting so much deeper than before.
"Christ…you're gonna make me cum," he warns, voice wrecked, his face still buried in your hair. "Jesus fuckin'…" You keen into his neck, still desperately chasing your own high, but it's not enough.
"J-Joel, I need—," you try to tell him, but he cuts you off.
"—'m fuckin' cummin'. Fuck," he grunts roughly, tumbling over the edge before you get the chance. His hips slow even as he continues to punch his cock as deep as it'll go, flooding your pussy.
No. Shit—no, no, no. He can't slow down, not now. You're almost there—so fucking close. He has to keep going. Just a little bit longer.
"No, Joel, no," you sob, legs kicking up around his waist as you grind up into him needily, increasing your speed. "Please, harder…please, please. Keep going for me—"
You feel rather than hear the groan rumble in his chest as he resumes his previous, unforgiving pace, ramming into you almost painfully.
"'m gonna. Don't'chu fuckin' worry."
At that, your orgasm quickly crashes over you, and you don't even realize you're slapping a hand into his side, still begging him not to stop as you wring him dry.
It's deafening what erupts from your chest when you finally cum. There's no doubt anyone outside can hear everything. Every squelch, every squeal, even the couch creaking, being pushed to its absolute limit.
Joel's name leaves your lips breathily, repeatedly like a prayer. You're shaking like a leaf underneath him, and he pulls back to brush your hair out of your face so he can kiss you, tender and open-mouthed.
This, too, feels gut-wrenchingly familiar but, for some reason, you don't want it to stop. Right now, you don't want to forget how it makes you feel.
He pulls out slowly, shoving two thick fingers inside you before your pussy can leak your combined releases all over the couch, and the sigh that escapes you sounds both content and despairing. He notices right away. Of course, he does.
Watching him leave you after nights like this hurts so much worse lately. Maybe it's nostalgia. Or maybe it's the unavoidable emotional connection you feel when he's inside you.
Even though months have passed since you decided you'd be better off without each other, something inexplicable keeps bringing you back together. It's not just the sex and you know it, no matter how much you choose to pretend otherwise.
He knows it, too. He tells you all the time—in the softness of his kiss, his desire to please you, and his eyes, still only ever focused on you.
And, now, in the possessiveness of his words and actions. Of his touch.
He gazes down at you knowingly, as if he can see every one of your troubled thoughts in the cloudiness of your eyes. He's always been annoyingly good at that.
"Y'know, I don't have to leave just yet," he murmurs, brushing his nose gently against your cheek. "Only in here, right? You're still mine as long as we're right here."
You let him wrap you up in his arms, nodding into his warm, beautifully scar-riddled chest.
"I'm yours."
thanks for reading! 💕
#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#tlou fanfiction#the last of us fanfiction#pedro pascal characters#joel miller
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Drawing Hornet everyday until Silksong comes out - Day 365!
1 year! One whole year of daily doodles!!
Honestly?? Idk how to feel, so much has happened since I first started this blog.
I guess I’ll just write what I’m thinking right now??
(Everything under the cut, this thing is longer than I expected)
A lot of this text probably isn’t going to make sense. I’m writing this at 1 am. If there’s any mistakes or errors that’s why. I’ll fix them in the morning maybe.
So like. This whole thing kinda started as a joke, I wasn’t intending to actually draw for a year straight lmao. Like I even used a completely different art style from my regular one that was simple, quick and intentionally dumb. Not that I’m upset by it, I’m actually quite proud of myself that I managed to stick to something for an entire year. That’s pretty unusual for me believe it or not. My original intention was to stop at maybe 20 days because I really wasn’t expecting for this blog to get as much love as it did.
So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so so much to everyone who has followed and supported this silly little idea I had, you guys are the biggest reason my experience has been so positive and worth it. (Sure it’s not original but I hope it’s at least been interesting!)
I’ve said this a few times now but I’ve mentioned wanting to take a break. I’ll admit that even though it’s been fun it’s still pretty tiring to keep up with this blog sometimes since some recent life events have made it so hard. After some thought, I’ve decided that I’ll likely take a break sometime in the coming months. Maybe toward day 400 or so. As of right now, things are at a lull so I’ve been okay enough mentally and physically to keep up this daily streak I think. Though this could change in an instant for whatever reason.
Overall I think my burnout has kind of gone away I think?? Or at least I’ve been reinvigorated recently after replaying a few runs of hk randomizer and steel soul. No promises it’ll stay away but I silly expect it to come in waves.
Ok but call me crazy or delusional or whatever, but my hopes are up that Silksong will release this year. (which means slowing down/not doing daily doodles yay) I genuinely believe big news is coming since I’ve been getting a lot of dreams lately about something happening with Silksong in March. Idk, I could be wrong but after doing this for a year I’m literally clinging onto anything right now lol
I’d obviously still make the occasional doodle or two when HKSS releases but not daily. This stuff is tough to keep up sometimes, I would never do daily posts like this again once it’s over
Oh yeah also I have an actual big drawing I’m still working on, expect that in sometime in the next few weeks I think!
Anyway, I can’t think of anything else to say right now so I guess that’s it for now!
Thanks so much and here’s to more doodles!
#silksongeveryday#ssed#hollow knight#silksong#hk hornet#hollow knight hornet#silksong hornet#hollow knight fanart#hk fanart
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rafe loves to hear you talk and talk about things you are so passionate about… <3 a rafe x reader blurb <3 cw: reader is chatty and rambl-y and is insecure about it, in this scenario reader is extremely passionate about japanese legends, lovesick rafe + casually dominant rafe, intentional lower case <3 just something for me to post after a small break as I work on other projects <3 for @zyafics who is one of the biggest reasons I am feeling motivated to write again <3
“oh here’s another one I read about yesterday!” you say excitedly as rafe squeezes your intertwined hands, smiling at you.
“mhm go on,” he smiles as you both continue to walk on the sidewalk, the full moon shining bright down at the two of you.
“this one is about the red thread of fate, this thread connects two soulmates,” you smile at him. he looks at you with his eyebrows slightly raised.
“connects two soulmates?” he echoes, and you nod.
“yeah,” you say. “it’s said there is a man who lives on the moon who comes to earth to show people their futures and who they’ll end up with. he does that with the help of the red thread of fate. he ties this invisible red thread between the two people who are meant to be together. this thread can tangle over the huge distance between the two people, it can stretch, but it will never ever break, and it will always tighten to bring those two people together.
“it also talks about the existence of a red pencil which can trace this invisible red thread, and this pencil gets shorter with its usage.
“oh and, this thread is always tied between the pinkies of the two people. that is because it was discovered a long time ago that our heart is connected to our pinky finger by an artery, which is now called the ‘ulnar artery’. this artery carries oxygenated blood from our heart to our pinky. so, in a way, our heart is directly linked to our pinkies via this artery, so when we make a pinky promise, we are basically connecting our hearts while making the promise. and that is why the invisible red thread of fate is also connecting our pinkies, because it is basically connecting the hearts of the soulmates, and–”
you take a look to your left at rafe, who’s looking down at the sidewalk as you both walk. you got so absorbed in talking you don’t even know if he is still listening or if he has tuned you out. honestly, who can blame him? since you keep on talking too much, anyone would quickly tune you out.
“oh god i’m doing it again aren’t i?” you say nervously as you stop in your tracks on the sidewalk, causing rafe to stop too. he eyes you with furrowed brows and creases on his forehead.
the actual truth is, rafe was thinking about tying a red thread to your pinkies when you both get home, his mind racing on where he can actually find some red thread in his house.
“doing what?” rafe asks softly.
“the, the ramble thing, where i just talk and talk till my mouth falls off,” you sigh, looking down. “I do that way too much, i don’t even know if you want to hear it or not but I just start speaking with no seeming end to my talk whatsoever, and you have to force yourself to listen to it because you got stuck being my boyfriend. and then i just keep on talking without thinking, it’s like my mouth has a mind of its own, I really should start to think–”
you are immediately cut off with rafe’s lips on yours, your eyes widening as you try to adjust to what is happening. rafe’s free hand comes to rest on your cheek to pull you even closer into the kiss, and your eyes flutter shut, letting you get lost in the feeling of him.
rafe gently pulls apart from the kiss, his eyes barely open as he gazes down at you.
“listen to me…” he says softly. “you don’t talk too much. I love hearing you talk. I love the cute expressions you make when you talk about things you are passionate about. I love how much knowledge you have about them and how you want to share it with me. I love the shine in your eyes when you start to talk, and the shine is even brighter under the moonlight. never ever apologize for talking too much because I won’t hear it, and you’ll only end up getting kissed by me each time. you get it?”
you look up in rafe’s eyes with a stunned expression. for the first ever time, you are at a loss of words, and all you can do is nod.
he smiles softly at you, as his thumb caresses your cheek. “words, baby, you hear me?” he says softly.
“yeah…” you let out. “I hear you,”
“good,” he mumbles. “never apologize again, okay?”
“okay,” you whisper.
he presses a soft kiss to your forehead and tugs on your hand gently, both of you now walking again. “come on, continue what you were saying,” he says, urging you to continue about the legend you were talking about.
you nod as you clear your throat before resuming to tell him more, this time not allowing even a single thought to let you stop as the stream of words spills from your lips, and rafe only listens in awe, loving hearing what it is you have to tell him.
#hi hi here's a new blurb :)#hope you all like!! <3#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron fanfic#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron fluff#rafe cameron oneshot#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron concept#rafe cameron prompt#rafe cameron drabble#written by edith! 🪄
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Hello! if it's not a bother for you can you please write part 2 of boyfriend and jealousy headcanons for Johan Seong, Vin Jin and Seonji Yuk?
yee part 2 with Johan, Vin jin, and Seonji, and feel free to ask for a part 3👍🏼(slight nsfw)
𝔹𝕠𝕪𝕗𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕟𝕕 𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤 𝕡𝕒𝕣𝕥 2
⋆˚✿˖°Johan Seong
❤️Johan would not know how to be a good boyfriend, at first
❤️once he learns it goes 180 and he’s such a good boyfriend that you wonder what happened to the old Johan…
❤️I feel in order to date him you’d have to be friends with him. He got trust issues (every issue)
❤️how you met in the first place would be you did something kind for him.
❤️he seems stand offish and cold but when he gives you those sweet smiles is when you fell for him first
❤️once he trusts you he’d be clingy. In his head. Trying not to be a bother but he wants to be with you every single day
❤️as a boyfriend, he would want to be with you while he lives more comfortably or at least if he has money finally
❤️he wouldn’t want you going through the poor life with him because he wants to give everything
❤️he gets in a bad mood easily but with some soft kisses and comforting touch a lot of it goes away
❤️he’s definitely a virgin
❤️but a fast learner
❤️amazing kisser
❤️10/10
⋆˚✿˖° Vin Jin
❤️you’re gonna be stuck listening to his raps more often…
❤️not that they’re bad, just that most of them are about him.
❤️and you’ll listen anyway cuz you honestly like his over confidence
❤️however he doesn’t actually think that he’s the most handsome guy in school, he said he hates handsome guys and that part of his personality is just not to let people make fun of him.
❤️you’re the one who said he’s very attractive and meant it
❤️you got him blushing. That’s actually a hint of what got him asking you out
❤️even when you say it to him a lot he’s blushing and pretends to be mad at you for it
❤️”damnit (y/n) shut up with the sappy shit.”
❤️you’re raising his ego about his looks that wasn’t even there before he met you.
❤️still though he’s an asshole
❤️he’s confident about how he is in bed…
❤️honestly for good reason because he’s got a little experience and the rest is just natural talent
❤️and since you’re not a fling he will want to be better for you
❤️he’s an idiot goof and that’s why you love him
❤️like how Mary needs to control him you’d also have to otherwise he will think that he can act up around you
❤️and since he’s around you almost everyday he slowly dials down his prick side to other people
(I went a little overboard with Vin Jin hey he’s my second favorite in Lookism ok…?)
⋆˚✿˖°Seongji Yuk
❤️if you remind him how handsome he is and how you love every part of him he turns flustered as hell
❤️not very affectionate in public but times you’re hanging out with The Cheongliang Fam he’s more talkative with you and would touch you a little more
❤️but once you’re alone that’s when he can’t have his hands off of you and smothers you with kisses
❤️would teach you how to make tanghulu
❤️he doesn’t know much about sex stuff, just the basics
❤️he’s got 6 fingers tho so once he learns more about it he’s suddenly skilled (knows how to use every single one)🫣
❤️wouldn’t know how to kiss at first, he’d feel embarrassed and needs a little guidance
❤️once he gets the hang of it his kisses leave you wanting more
❤️would make sure everyone in the fam gets along well with you, you’ll become best friends with Mary!!
❤️your biggest protector and if there’s a situation where he can’t, he orders Cheongliang to do it
❤️best nights is when you’re all together by a fire telling stories or joking with each other and then once you’re alone with Seongji again he holds you, no worries or stress just good vibes
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Feeling Like I Do
neighbour!yunho x reader
best friends to lovers au
word count: 5k (bulletpoint headcanons this time)
genres: fluff, absolute fluff, a little crack, a little angst, some suggestive jokes thrown around, just wholesomeness and yuyu
synopsis: you and yunho have been best friends since forever and neighbours for a while, and you find it harder with each passing day to hide your feelings for him.
manager-nim: @eightmakesonebraincell (this took way too long to finish considering the deep yunho brainrot we've been in)
special thanks to @hwaightme your guy.exe triggered this hehe
being best friends with jeong yunho was not as simple as it sounded
especially when he was your neighbour
like, right next door. the very next apartment
so you couldn’t avoid him even if you wanted to
honestly, you brought this upon yourself, if you think about it
ever since you were kids, you had been inseparable
from going to the same school and bonding over a similar sense of humour
from pranking the rest of your friends together to making fun of each other
to knowing each other’s deepest secrets
except for the one that really mattered- that you had the biggest, fattest crush on your best friend
honestly, you do not recall when exactly it happened
if you think back, you can’t pinpoint it to one moment
it is a number of moments, the years you spent together, the memories you shared that you are now a grown up and still hopelessly in love with him
though you would not admit it
never. ever. over your dead body.
you just have one fear that has stuck with you and it is that you do not want to ruin things between the two of you
he has known you since forever. he knows you inside out.
he’s too precious to lose over something as stupid as your feelings
because if he does not feel the same, you will never be whole again
but if by some small chance he does and you mess things up later? you would never recover
this is why you think having feelings for your best friend is so messed up
and this is the reason you always dismiss his flirty actions as jokes between two best friends who are super comfortable with each other
like when he casually enters your unlocked apartment and asks for a pinch of salt and spots you in the ugliest fit you’re wearing
he will go “wow you look beautiful”
and you will make a face, knowing he is joking, and ignore the butterflies in your stomach
and you respond with “you don’t look too bad yourself” when he himself looks like he nests a squirrel in his hair
his casual touches and occasionally flirty gazes do not bother you anymore
you’re made of steel now
so when he hugs you out of nowhere or swings you around just to hear you squeal, you know it’s just what friends do
or when he finds you too adorable and kisses your temple, you let it pass. you don’t read too much into it
though occasionally, you like to blur the lines too. he might know at this point
like what friend runs to their other friend only to jump in their arms and bury their face in the crook of the other’s neck?
what sort of friend casually zones out while staring at the other and wonders what they did to deserve them?
you
perhaps, this was a teenage crush that would have quelled with time- but that was if you had parted ways for college
no
by some evil play of the fates, you two ended up in the same city, quite close to each other
and as soon as you two had enough savings, you both decided to be neighbours
you just didn’t have it in you to be apart from each other
and funny thing was, no one batted an eye. it was so natural
though they did question why you weren’t housemates
you and yunho would always share a grin and respond with ‘to protect the last shred of privacy’
which was an inside joke now
so when you both started living together- because that’s exactly what it was
from going grocery shopping together
to knowing each other’s door locks
dropping in stuff for the other without their permission
privacy? ha. what privacy?
sure, you almost once walked in on him showering
and he almost walked in on you changing your clothes (your fault you didn’t shut the door, right?)
but that wasn’t a big deal at all
you would slide notes under each other’s doors- cute reminders to take an umbrella or a good morning/good night
or an ugly doodle or a ‘u stink’
you did not collect all those notes in a jar. you did not
he once bought 10 rubber duckies and hid them around your apartment and you would find them in the most odd places
like inside a pot you rarely use
one was even in your underwear drawer
whenever you’d find one, you would take it with you whenever you went to yunho’s and hide it somewhere there
and so the eternal game of hide and seek began
you have never talked about it out loud by the way
the more memorable things were just making yourself at home at the other’s place when one of you did not feel like being alone
which was most of the time, if you were very honest with yourself
you would watch tv together while you had dinner and have a heated discussion about whatever you were watching
or you would play games with him
or he would help you pick out your fit for the night
or you would style his hair
or you two would stay up all night talking about stuff
about anything and everything
emptying out your hearts
yet still you would always have more to talk about
it was never a boring moment with yunho
and you could go on about why you loved him forever
every day, you woke up glad that he was so close to you and still with you
he was the only person who did not judge you
you could say something nasty and he would still try to understand your perspective
which just made him 100000x more precious
but he would call you out when you did or said something wrong/bad but in a very gentle manner
which you appreciated so much
and the best thing was, he always stayed. he was always there
his arms were your eternal safe space
and he knew
it was like he knew the look in your eyes, whenever you needed a hug
and he would spread his arms and you would walk to him and wrap your arms around his waist while he embraced you
and tell you that it would be okay, no matter what was going on
he would always offer to hear you out or simply be there, physically
he was just… so easy to be with
he was your personal ray of sunshine, your little fluffy cloud, yours
he was yours- oh, how you wished he could be yours in all the ways
because whenever he talked about someone he noticed with you
or just looked at someone different and then find you staring at him
he’s respond with “i just like their outfit” or “i think their hair is nice”
and you would wonder if it’s really just that
you two do have an unspoken promise to tell each other whenever you start dating someone or fall in love
but that’s mostly because you both know your dynamic would have to change a bit
because you two wouldn’t be each other’s priority anymore- not like you are now anyway
and it hurts to just think about it
you asked him, “what would really change?”
and he responded with, “i would appreciate it if you do not connect your bluetooth to my speakers when i have someone over and play some unholy audio”
which turned into an argument because he has literally done the same to you and you had a friend over
you had to explain yourself and explain yunho and tell the traumatised friend that this was just him pulling a prank on you
but you responded with “you know what i will also appreciate if the person does not find a potato instead of a soap in the sink”
you two are always out for each other and after all these years… you two never know each other’s next move
but you both know your dynamics would change in more ways than that
you wouldn’t be able to stroll in his apartment so casually and make breakfast for the two of you because you ran out of ingredients
neither would he be able to come and take a shower in your apartment because “i ran out of hot water” or “i want to smell like strawberries today”
you wouldn’t be able to go and sleep on his couch or bed because you felt lonely
neither would he be able to do the same
and you both would have to tone down the physical affection because you two have heard enough about people mistaking you for a couple
honestly, sometimes you wonder if those people gaslit you into seeing him as something more
but… it was yunho. how could you not?
especially when he cared for you like no one else?
and maybe, maybe, just maybe
he thought of you like that sometimes too
it was probably wishful thinking but oh, how you wished he did anyway
because you couldn’t take it sometimes
you couldn’t take how he would zone out while listening to you talk and look absolutely adorable
you couldn’t take how when you’d hold hands while walking he’d caress them absently
and you couldn’t take how he’d play with your hands when you’d tell him about your day or some gossip
you couldn’t take it when he’d sneak up on you and wrap his arms around you in a back hug and make you feel so small and safe
or when he’d rest his head on yours as you hugged
you couldn’t take it when his gaze would linger on you a fraction of a second longer when you were too close
or when he would always search your eyes before he would plant a chaste kiss on your cheek or forehead
you really, really couldn’t take it anymore
perhaps you needed therapy now
you couldn’t afford slipping in front of yunho tho
or anyone of your mutual friends for that matter
because you knew if someone found out they would somehow let yunho know
and you weren’t ready for his answer
what if he distanced himself from you if he ever found out? you couldn’t have that
perhaps you should have physically distanced yourself from him
perhaps being neighbours made it worse
tho, could you call it worse when it was literally a blessing to have him so close to you?
you’re starting to question it tho
bc one night when you were out drinking late with your friends
you came back to your apartment complex, feeling so low
and when you were about to cross yunho’s door to get to your own, you paused
you paused and stood outside his door for the longest time
and then you sank down and rested your back against his door
wishing he wouldn’t find you
you just needed to cry a little and lighten the weight on your heart
except, another evil play of fates and yunho somehow just knew to look for you
he almost opened his door but heard the faint sound of your cries
at first he thought it was a lost kitten or something but then he opened his door a fraction and found your figure on the floor
and his heart broke
“y/n? can you please move a little so i can open the door?”
you froze
until he called your name again and you wished you could dig the ground and bury yourself under it
but you moved and not a few seconds later, he was next to you and rubbing your back
“what’s wrong?”
“nothing,” you replied
except there was a lot
you just couldn’t tell him
just like the various times he found you crying alone and no matter how much he insisted, you wouldn’t tell him
he wondered who hurt you sometimes
he wondered who it was so he could punch that person or do anything, something, to make it all right
because he hated it so much when you cried
it made his chest feel tight and he’d always get confused about what he was feeling
a number of things is what it was- anger, longing, pain, confusion
but this time? he wasn’t going to let you go
because just how long had you been crying like this? why didn’t you just come inside? why didn’t you find him?
he asked you that
you couldn’t reply yet again
so he decided to bring you inside
he made you drink some water
he wiped your face with the sleeves of his black shirt
and you finally looked at him
oh goodness. he was wearing those black rimmed glasses again
the ones that made him look so, so good.
but he looked angry
“you’re going to tell me who made you cry. or else we’ll be sitting here just like this all night while i wait for your answer”
you bit your lips, looking away and cursing yourself internally
you should have cried in the shower or something
“can i rest? my head is spinning- i might have drank too much-”
“no.”
you locked eyes with him and he didn’t look away
“do you have any idea how much it hurts me to see you like this? and how much it hurts me that you stayed outside? why didn’t you come to me?”
you looked away again, wiping the fresh stream of tears
it was getting harder now, to not give in. to not answer his questions and put an end to this once and for all
especially with yunho so close to you and caressing your bare knees that you put between the two of you
“tell me”
“i can’t”
“why not?”
“because…” you sighed deeply. you looked at him
if you weren’t drunk, every cell in your brain would have screamed at you to shut up
but because you were, it was now your heart tugging that did it for you
“don’t look at me like that, yunho.”
yunho only cocked his head, refusing to look at you any other way
you snaked your hands up your knees to meet his hands, locking your fingers
“you can’t distract me this time-”
yunho’s words got caught in his mouth when you started to lean forward and he drew back reflexively, looking at you questioningly
but you weren’t going to stop
he wanted answers? he would have them
so you continued to lean forward until you were on your knees and almost in his lap
you looked down at him, meeting his very confused eyes
“do you ever think about why i don’t come to you at these times? do you really not know the answer?”
you watched his ears flush
he knew
he must know
he must have a hint, at least, of what you felt for him
“is it really me?” he whispered
you didn’t answer this time
you couldn’t
you simply dropped down with a sigh and pulled your hands from his
he was so confused- he had no way to navigate through this without your help
but you were drunk right now
he decided you should at least be sober when you talk
and perhaps, you decided that too
so you resorted to climbing in his lap and holding him in a hug
he didn’t waste any time wrapping his arms around you
and planting a kiss on your head
just like he had done a thousand times now
“i’m sorry for making you worried,” you mumbled, burying your face in his sweatshirt, hearing his heartbeat
“i’m sorry for sounding angry- i didn’t mean to.”
“i know,” you assured him. “can i sleep here?”
“of course-”
“right here?”
yunho wished you would say such things with a warning because his heart dropped dangerously and he couldn’t help but let out a flustered laugh
“am i that comfortable?”
“you’re literally my human pillow”
and just like that, you were both back to normal
but yunho made sure not to let you forget about this
in the morning when you woke up before him and noticed him sleeping in a painful position to accommodate you on the couch
you watched him for the longest time
and snuck out to go back to your apartment and really panic this time
because boi, did you mess up this time
and it was the weekend. yunho would be up and asking questions in no time
you had nowhere to hide
perhaps, you should stop hiding now
the doorbell rang and for a moment you wondered if it was someone else
but when you opened the door to yunho with a bowl of soup in his hands, you knew he rang the doorbell for a reason
he would be asking you questions today
so you let him in, wondering how he would initiate the conversation
“i bet you have the worst headache now,” he goes, grinning like everything is normal
you didn’t realise he was being normal so you would lower your defences while you ate and chatted like normal
until he finally asked, “are we going to talk about what happened last night?”
“what happened last night?” you ask back
it was perhaps the wrong thing to say
because you see yunho’s gaze darken
you immediately sigh to let him know that yes, you know exactly what he is talking about
you did not like to see him angry so you decided to face what was next
but… anxiety started to creep in your chest as you looked at him, waiting for him to say something
“can you please tell me why you were crying last night? why did you not come and find me?”
you sigh deeply again, pursing your lips as you look at him
because you could feel it
this was it
it would never be the same again
you spend a few minutes staring at him, opening your mouth to say something but stopping, and then looking away and recalling exactly where you fucked up
and he’s so patient. he keeps waiting
he’s not even fiddling with anything right now. he’s just… there and watching you and waiting
you finally lock eyes with him and say, “have you ever wanted something so bad that in order to gain it, you risk losing it completely?”
yunho thinks it’s really cryptic, what you just asked him
because… yes, he’s wanted something that bad too
he didn’t realise it until the first summer he did not spend with you a few years ago
and he felt so lost until he saw you and everything started to make sense
and everything has made sense since
he’s wanted to make you smile every moment you spend with him
he’s wanted to embrace you eternally every moment you find home in his arms
he’s wanted to make you laugh because of all the sounds in this world, your laugh was his favourite
even tho it sounded like windshield wipers
he’s wanted you so, so bad
but how could he ever admit it
suddenly, he understand you
and he finds himself nodding slowly, his heart beating with an urgency indicating the arrival of a change
it could make or break you both
so he says, “yes… yes i know exactly how that feels”
you both watch each other for a few moments, afraid to take the next step
but yunho won’t give in now- he doesn’t want to see you cry like that ever again
“is that why you were upset? you’ve been mulling over something like this?”
you’re hesitant but you nod
so he leans forward as if to hold your hands from across the table but he stops himself
and asks, “why have you been so afraid to tell me this?”
it’s silent. very silent
only the sounds of your breath in the room
and the sound of your heart in your ears
with a gulp, you manage to say, “because… because i’m afraid of being selfish and losing you in the process.”
for a few seconds, yunho is frowning in confusion as he tries to make sense of what you said
and you see exactly when realisation hits him
when his features relax and his gaze clears and his mouth parts as he look at you
you don’t look away. you’re waiting for him to say something, to respond, to hurt you with what he’ll say next, anything
but he looks away and lets out a flustered laugh and you can’t help but let out your own nervous laugh as well
you watch his ears flush and his lips curl downwards as he stifles a smile
and you finally cry out, “say something, you idiot.”
yunho puts a hand over his mouth as he stares at you
and suddenly, you feel hot all over. the embarrassment is catching up to you
“are you telling me, y/n, that you like me? that you… actually want me?”
you blush furiously and you’re almost sweating now but you manage to nod
and yunho is laughing in disbelief again and you’ve had enough
you get up, muttering about getting a drink but yunho is quick to catch your wrist and pull you towards him
and you’re suddenly too close
he’s searching your eyes
“you want me?”
you give him a pleading look and he understands
he brings an almost trembling hand to your face, tucking your hair behind your ear first
“i need you to say it, y/n. because i-”
“yes,” you nod, “yes, i want you. is it too much to ask for? have i ruined things?”
yunho shakes his head and lets go of your wrist only to cup your face and you try to decipher the look in his eyes
it is not the first time he has looked at you this way but this time it’s a bit different
“do you have any idea how much i’ve wanted you since forever?”
you think you’re hearing things
because there is no way
there is absolutely no way
that jeong yunho- your best friend- wants you
“you’re not joking, are you?” is your response and yunho laughs a bit before he leans in, watching your breath get caught in your throat when he gazes at you
and then his gaze is stuck on your lips and he’s waiting
and now your hands are moving out of their own accord, snaking up to his chest to fist his black sweatshirt
his nose brushing against yours undoes something in you
“yunho, please,” you manage to whisper
and then he finally pecks your lips
it’s cautious, it’s soft, and it’s nothing like you imagined it to be because you’re feeling a number of things
he scans your face briefly before he pecks your lips again, this time longer
and then he does it again and you’re finally moving your hands and tilting your face up so he can properly kiss you
and there’s no need for words anymore
the unspoken actions are enough
you open your mouth and he dives right in, kissing you eagerly
your knees were already weak so you struggle to stay upright but he’s quick to catch you
his arms are holding you to him and you’re the one cupping his face now as you kiss
it is years of longing and love poured into this kiss and none of you want to stop
but you eventually break apart for breath and then you realise exactly what position you both are in
and suddenly, you’re both laughing, too shy to look at each other and you hide your face in his chest
he’s caressing your back while you recover and when you look up, he’s got the most loving look in his eyes
“what took you so long to do that, y/n?”
“i could ask the same,” you respond. “i could cry right now.”
yunho laughs, planting a kiss on your forehead. “well. how do you feel?”
you hug him, taking deep breaths
“i think we should really talk,” you laugh
he steers you to the couch but he makes you sit in his lap so he can caress your face or play with your hair while you talk
and you can’t because he’s looking at you with the softest gaze ever
so you just ask him since when he started liking you- does he like you?
he tells you about how he, too, has been afraid to ruin things
and talks about how he thought you liked someone else
you ask him if he never got the hint
but you both know how wary you two have been, especially lately
never reading too much into things
perhaps one of you should have
“i’m sorry i made you suffer like that,” yunho finally says to let the weight off his shoulders. “i never realised you were hurting because of me.”
you tell him it’s not his fault and that if he did not like you back you would have been hurt, yes, but you would have dealt with it
except you are so lucky that he feels the same way about you
you can’t believe it, actually
you trace the curves of yunho’s face
it’s like you’re looking at each other for the first time now
“i’m yours,” he whispers when you finally look him in the eyes. “i’ve always been yours.”
you can’t help the tears now
they are tears of relief and sheer happiness
and yunho understands because he’s pretty sure he will cry soon too
he lets you pepper kisses on his face
and holds you when you hug him again
“good thing it’s the weekend, right? we can stay like this all day long.”
and you do
you have nothing you’d rather do
you stay in each other’s arms, talk about everything and anything, caress each other’s hands (mostly you bc you love his hands), makeout in between
and it’s so natural
nothing has changed- it’s just like before but better
you’re still joking around and teasing each other like before
he still passes a ‘ur ugly <3’ or a ‘what a mess’ note under your door
and you still respond with an explicit drawing
the suggestive jokes have levelled up tho
he always catches you off-guard with them and you either blush furiously or send something flying at him
a few things have changed tho
like when he finds you in the kitchen and gives you a back hug
this time he’s quick to sneak in a kiss and maybe nibble at your neck
sometimes it turns into a heated makeout session
other times you ask him to stop so you can focus on cooking but he keeps distracting you until you’re running after him with a wooden ladle
and you two can’t stay away from each other now- you couldn’t anyway but this time it’s different
this time when you crawl in his bed at night time, he is quick to spoon you
and now he does not hesitate to find you in your apartment too, at night
earlier he used to keep a distance for the sake of you both- you realise how now
now he doesn’t sleep in the corner of the bed with the excuse that he likes it
he has to hold you while sleeping
and he has to mutter dirty little things to rile you up too
when your friends find out, they’re not surprised at all
they’re disappointed it took you two this long
they call you both dumb and dumber and perhaps, they’re right
but perhaps… this was the right time
there is a time for everything, you realise
and it took you and yunho years of being together to realise that yes
you are meant for each other and no one else :’)
he’s your best friend, your other half, and your soulmate
he is yours <3
#jeong yunho#yunho#ateez x reader#yunho x reader#yunho fluff#yunho angst#ateez scenarios#ateez imagines#ateez fluff#ateez angst#ateez au#ateez reactions#ateez headcanons#yunho ateez
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Can we get more ghoul headcannons pls!! The smuttier the better 🩷
AHHHH FIRST REQUEST!! and thank you for this because I LOVE writing smutty ghoul hcs.
not rlly proofread soz
CHARACTERS: Sodo/Dewdrop, Phantom, Aether, Rain, Mountain, Swiss, Omega, Ifrit
WARNINGS/TAGS: smut (obvi), gn!reader, CNC, monsterfucking?, size kink, dacryphilia, bondage, ghouls have mating cycles now bc i said so, pegging, anal, breeding kink, bdsm
🎸 Sodo
Will always fuck you to the point where you’re practically screaming and begging for him because he practically gets high off the ego boost.
He doesn’t mind whatsoever about having to do most if not all the work. The best reward he could ask for is seeing you all fucked out and crying his name.
When Sodo's in heat, he isn't just horny, he's also really fucking aggressive for no good reason 😭. He's snappy, grumpy, stompier than usual and it's all because he's got blue balls LMFAO.
Because of his angry mood, anything you do that pisses him off could result in some rough sex while he growls at you about how you've pissed him off. But, there's a small chance you could put him in his place because he's surprisingly into subbing when it means he gets to put up a fight (consensually, of course).
When he does sub, he's the biggest fucking brat imaginable. It's a good thing he gets so sensitive when he's punished because he cannot listen to an order for the love of everything unholy.
Hates when he can't be handsy with you. He just can't get enough of your body so if you really want to torture him then tie up his hands behind him.
🎸 Phantom
He’s super into puppy play but is absolutely terrified of admitting it and just prays that you’ll suggest something like collaring him so he can bring it up.
This hc and the next one are fem!reader (kinda?) ones but hang in there. Phantom is fucking infatuated with your tits. If your riding him he’s staring at them bouncing like he’s hypnotised.
Also loves fucking your tits regardless of their size because tits are tits and they all look beautiful (but yours are always his favourite).
So obedient it’s adorable. He never acts up around you and if he does he’s on his knees immediately and apologising profusely.
Constantly asking if you feel good even when he’s moments away from cumming and is overstimulated.
Goes non-verbal when he gets too worked up. All he can get out are whimpers, sniffles and small nods or shaking of his head. It’s hard to tell if he needs to tap out so you have to check up on him and be extra attentive.
🎸 Aether
Gets super aroused when he smells you, especially if he’s in heat.
When he’s fucking you he likes whispering in your ear about how he’s going to fuck a baby into you while you dumbly nod as his thrusts become more and more rough.
Gets a little too turned on when you wrap your hands around his horns because they just look so much bigger than your hands.
Wanna give Aether an instant boner? Wear a thin sundress or loosely buttoned shirt around him with no underwear on and watch him writhe in his seat when he picks up on the scent of your underwear being absent.
He's always down to fuck in the church part of the abbey. The risk of getting caught or being seen/heard is thrilling to him and the ministry encouraging sex is just a bonus.
Loves a good bit of cockwarming when you're both too sleepy to fuck or he just wants to torture you.
🎸 Rain
Goes absolutely feral for some sloppy and messy sex. He just loves seeing the two covered in each others cum and arousal.
Prefers being marked rather than marking you. The hickeys and bruises he gets to see the next day always make his stomach backflip as he imagines what you’ll do tonight.
Rain isn't a huge fan of seeing you in pain during sex. Him however...
It's not entirely kink related, it's kinda just a very fucked up way of showing his devotion to you that also happens to get him off.
I honestly think he wouldn't absolutely despise the idea of being caught having sex. Like in a sense where someone accidentally walks into your room while you two are fucking and not being out in public.
He's very big on you belonging to him and him belonging to you. Not in a sub/dom dynamic way but rather being each others mate. I could go on and on about him during his mating cycles but I'll save that for another fic...
🥁 Mountain
One of his favourite things to do is to use his elemental powers to grow vines to use as restraints. And if you’re into cnc or just like surprises, he’ll do it when you least expect it.
Touching his horns or tail is a dangerous game to play because it’ll always end with him above you fucking you until you see stars and there’s tears welling in your eyes.
Has a giant mirror right across from his bed that he makes you face while you fuck in reverse cowgirl just so he can see how tiny you look compared to him.
Calling him ‘sir’ is a one way ticket to overstimulation because once it slips out of you he won’t stop fucking you any time soon.
He doesn't like having to be verbal with his commands, when you see him gesture you to come sit on his lap, you better listen.
If you ever want to see him turn as submissive as he possibly can be, start scratching at the base of his horns and behind his ears. He won't go down easily but he'll still let out a few somewhat pornographic moans.
🎤 Swiss
He needs his cock stepped on every once in a while, preferably by a nice pair of stilettos or latex boots.
Practically has no limits. He’s into pretty much everything you can think of and is willing to try anything if it makes you happy and gets you off.
He’s primarily focused on your pleasure but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like being taken care of.
Every heat cycle for Swiss turns all his dials up from 0 to 100 and it's almost scary. His urge to breed isn't even that strong, he just really needs to be fucked so he'll shut up.
He’s usually really enthusiastic about subbing, but sometimes he feels the need to be a bratty little shit so you’ll take out your anger on him and he can forget about everything wrong with the world for a solid few hours.
He's a biter, that's for sure. The intensity of the bite depends on your comfort but if you give him the green light he'll start biting so hard he draws enough blood to have you lightheaded.
🎸 Omega
Although I said Omega is a hard dom and a mean one too in my previous post about the ghouls, I don’t think he’d be opposed to subbing every once in a hunter’s moon.
Loves having you just ride his thigh while he practices guitar. He gets to see you all needy and not be able to be affectionate to him because of the obnoxious Hagström Fantomen blocking your torso from his and the lack of attention.
Wouldn’t mind cuckolding if it involved Terzo. Also wouldn’t mind if Terzo simply ordered the two of you around while he jerked off at the sight.
Him being a mean and hard dom doesn't make him cruel, he still praises you when you behave well. If you've managed to take his cock on top of the edging and torture, he'll softly smother your face and neck in kisses for doing such a good job while he continues to thrust into you.
(AFAB reader hc) If you ever find yourself horny yet on your period do not fret because Omega gives absolutely zero (0) fucks! He'll even eat you out if you want him to.
Adores roleplay, especially if it involves corruption. One of his favourite scenes to act out is for you to be an innocent mortal summoning a ghoul from hell not knowing what ghouls desire once they're on earth.
🎸 Ifrit
He already gets hard when he’s giving head but if you grab onto his horns to pull him closer and he chokes on your dick/suffocates between your thighs he might cum untouched because oh Lucifer it feels good.
He likes fucking fast and rough, regardless of the dynamic. He likes seeing the bruises, feeling that fuzziness in his limbs and not being able to think when he’s fucking.
Will randomly communicate how he's feeling throughout the day by hugging you from behind and pressing his hard, clothed cock into your backside. Zero shame whatsoever.
Loves a good bit of thigh riding. He doesn't mind who's riding who's thigh, he just likes the feeling of it.
You can always tell when he's close to cumming because his tail will start to flick erratically while his claws extend for a split second.
Ifrit isn't afraid to use his tail to jerk you off. Don't act surprised when you feel something wrap around your cock or the spade of his tail flicking over your clit.
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*
that's all lovelies!
#x reader#fanfic#fanfiction#the band ghost#nameless ghouls x reader#nameless ghouls#sodomizer#sodo x reader#phantom ghoul#phantom x reader#rain ghoul#rain x reader#aether ghoul#aether x reader#mountain ghoul#mountain x reader#swiss ghoul#swiss x reader#omega ghoul#omega x reader#ifrit ghoul#ifrit x reader#answered asks
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pac ⋆ assumptions people make about you
reminder that this is a general reading and messages found here may not apply to everyone. take what resonates, leave what doesn't, and don't force anything if it does not fit.
BOOK A READING WITH ME · LINKTREE · 18+ PATREON · SUGGEST A PAC TOPIC · TIPS ♡ tips and feedback are highly appreciated!
GROUP ONE
cards · two of swords (reversed), the hermit, the devil (reversed). mischief · keep your eyelids open and sight sharp as nails for there is something trailing behind your tail.
my dear group one ♡ you may be what people consider as “too closed off for your own good”. there are so many people who want to be a part of your life, who want to be your friend or even your lover, but who cannot find a way to make this happen.
you may be extremely offline at the moment, or you may be choosing to protect your peace by turning all your social media accounts private, leading people to take any little crumb of information they can get about you and make radical (sometimes ridiculous) assumptions.
the more that people do not have access to you, the more they need to make up reasons why this is so. the biggest assumptions that people make about you is that you are someone who has a lot of casual relationships as well as that you are someone who likes to drink and party more than anything else.
you may not post often and when you do it’s of you going out and spoiling yourself, which leads people to think that this is what you prioritise when in reality this is only a small portion of your reality. there’s a few people who even wonder whether you have a problem with alcohol, because of how “often” you post about you enjoying it.
GROUP TWO
cards · ten of wands, two of swords (reversed), the high priestess (reversed). rebirth · there’s death in all that awakens. for it isn’t blissful nor painless; it’s a might rising, oh flame resurrected.
my dear group two ♡ you may have recently undergone a major physical transformation or you may have started doing something with your appearance that’s different from usual. be it cutting your hair a new way, bulking up, trying a new style of dressing, or whatever else.
people tend to see you as someone who is aloof and difficult to befriend and, thus, choose to observe you from afar.
people have seen your transformation and assume that you are doing this because you have experienced some kind of heartbreak. they look at you and think something like, “who hurt them?” …
others simply think that you are almost unrecognisable from how they remember you, sometimes having to do a double take when your paths cross. they wonder if you have been pushed into this transformation because of shouldering a big new responsibility, such as a new job or new career prospect.
honestly, whichever of these most applies to you, the assumptions that people make about you most of all come from them seeing you as intimidating—probably because they also assume you are far more mature and level-headed than them or anybody else they know.
GROUP THREE
cards · four of wands (reversed), queen of wands, six of cups. owl · behold sight oh, ancient ones. for there is magic in the darkest of places if one dares to open their eyes.
my dear group three ♡ you may be particularly spiritual or religious. you may wear jewellery or have tattoos that denote some kind of spiritual or religious affinity, or carry yourself in such a way that makes people see you as someone with immense knowledge and wisdom, particularly because i heard the term “arcane knowledge”.
people see you as someone inherently out of their league, assuming that you are capable of looking after yourself without the support of anybody else. this is particularly true for family members who may not know you as well as they think they do and potential romantic partners who can do little but watch and want you from afar. they assume that you have your life figured out and are rarely bothered or affected by the difficult or painful things that happen to you, or difficult or painful circumstances you find yourself in.
romantic partners assume that once you close the door on them it’s closed for good. even if you want certain people to come back into your life, they assume you are too above them to ever give them a second chance. or, in some cases, a first chance.
the neatest and most succinct way to say this is that, frankly, people assume you are much stronger (and, for some, much pickier) than you actually are.
GROUP FOUR
cards · death, the tower, judgement, knight of sword. healer · listen as the medicine bleeds through her teeth, a river of mercy blessed by mother. seen only by those who hold her mirror.
my dear group four ♡ it is in energy that’s coming through for you, as if you are on the verge of so much change while also holding on to so much of your past. i’ve started this paragraph a few different times, deleting and rewriting as i try to word the message in the best way possible, but i think the first is probably the most accurate: you are finally freeing yourself of a death and rebirth cycle.
you are coming out of a loop in which with every great high you immediately experienced a great low. and people are seeing this for themselves too.
people have been critical about you in the past, making the assumption that you will never amount to anything, or never fulfil a goal or dream. but as you surpass every expectation that they had for you, they start to see how wrong they were to doubt you.
and, now, rather than assume you are bound to fail, they cannot help but assume the opposite—that you are bound to succeed.
people also assume that you are somewhat of a “king’s maker���; that even if you may never have the spotlight you can ensure that other people do. they also assume you are intelligent, and not just intelligent for intelligence’s sake but most importantly, a good teacher who can help other’s learn without feeling condescended down to.
#**#tarot#pac#pick a card#pick a pile#pick a picture#pick a photo#tarotonline#tarotblr#tarotcommunity#tarotcreator#tarotdaily#witchblr#channeled message#channelled message#spirituality#spiritualism
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inspired by a reply @gregre369 left on yesterday’s post. this is why i love this site so much bc i had this idea floating aimlessly around my brain for such a long time and then someone says something that just connects all the dots for me so - much thanks <3
tw: brief reference to domestic violence
One of parenthood’s biggest surprises (in Eddie’s opinion, anyway) was how easy talking to his and Steve’s daughters about why his parents aren’t in his life was.
He’d figured it’d be hard to figure out exactly how to explain that his mother's death was due to domestic violence caused by his father, who had died in prison twenty years later – but…that about covers it, honestly. Sure, the exact rendition of the story the girls hear varies as they get older, but…it’s pretty straightforward, actually.
Explaining Steve’s situation turned out to be way more complicated for…well, for a lot of reasons, and the fact that his parents are still alive and breathing and choosing to not be around didn't help things at all.
It also didn't help that the girls totally saw Jim and Joyce as Steve’s parents, but it did lead to a conversation that Eddie doesn't think he'll ever forget:
It happened when he was passing through the kitchen to see that Steve was cooking with Moe.
"What're we up to in here?" he asked.
At four years old (she’s actually almost five), Moe has yet to outgrow a phase of picky eating that had started out right around her second birthday. Steve is trying out a new method where he involves Moe in the cooking process in the hopes that she then actually wants to eat the product of her hard work when it’s done. He's seeing varying levels of success.
“We're making burgers,” Moe said, “Poppy’s recipe.”
Eddie looked at Steve skeptically, “Poppy Jim or Poppy Joyce?”
Steve rolled his eyes, “I’m telling Joyce you said that.”
And then he added, “Jim.”
Satisfied, Eddie continued on his way.
“How come you call your dad Jim?” Moe asked.
And that had Eddie pausing in the hallway just out of their line of sight.
“Well, Poppy’s not my dad, sweet pea,” Steve replied.
“Did you not have a dad?”
“I did have a dad – I do. He lives in Indiana with my mom. We don't really talk to each other anymore though."
"Why?"
"When I was younger, I decided that they didn’t take care of me like I needed them too, and Jim and Joyce stepped in to be like my parents instead."
It's not completely accurate, Eddie knows (and he doesn't love the way Steve is shifting culpability away from his parents because that shit was fully on them, but whatever; it's his story and he can tell it however he want), but just like how they don't have a completely accurate picture of what happened to Eddie's mom either, they know what they need to know for now and they'll hear more down the line.
“But what did your mom and dad do?” Moe asked.
"Well, you know how Daddy and I read to you and play with you and put you to bed and make food for you – it was a little different because I was older and I needed different stuff than that, but…”
Eddie watched Steve look back at their oldest daughter, watched him see the look of confusion in her big brown eyes.
“They didn’t do that?” Moe asked, sounding perplexed.
Steve shook his head, and Moe continued to look at him as if he might suddenly tell her he was joking.
“That’s crazy,” Moe finally said, and Steve let out a laugh.
“It is kinda crazy, isn’t it?” he agreed, “That’s why I love being your dad so much, because it’s actually so easy to want to take care of you. Even though you sometimes like to make it hard on purpose, right?”
“Yeah,” she grinned proudly, “Like when I make you snuggle me more at bedtime and you fall asleep by accident and then the kitchen is messy in the morning."
"Uh-huh," Steve said, poking her in the side so she giggled, "Exactly like that."
"You're a good dad," Moe told him.
"You think?" Steve asked as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.
"The best dad."
“The best?” he repeated, “Can’t let Daddy hear that.”
“He can hear it.”
#cue moe yelling for eddie so she can say it to his face#she later affirms it's actually a tie#steddie#liv’s steddie dads verse#steddie dads#steve harrington#eddie munson#tw: domestic violence
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Some thoughts about Huskerdust relationship development:
I don't know if we'll get the chance to see this happen in canon unless Amazon gives Hazbin Hotel more episodes to work with per season (unless it's relevant to the Vees being the main villains of season 2, which is feasible) but one of the things I really want to see happen is for Angel Dust to backslide.
I feel like the biggest issue that Angel faced with Husk until they finally managed to connect during Loser, Baby is that Husk was honestly being really fucking judgmental about Angel being fake without understanding why he was doing it, because Husk thought he had a full enough picture of the situation (and likely was irritated enough by the incessant sexual harrassment) to be able to judge Angel Dust. At least until one of my favorite lines in the show, when Angel goes, "It's not an act!" and finally admits why he acts that way.
Recovery isn't linear. And even beyond that, you really cannot effectively recover from a trauma when you are still actively experiencing it. That's why Loser, Baby meant so much to Angel Dust. Husk realized that it wasn't reasonable to tell Angel that things are going to be fine when they're obviously not - but he's at least able to offer himself as a sympathetic port in a storm for Angel to be real with when he needs to talk to someone he doesn't have to be fake with.
That said, it still stuck out to me that he told Angel, "I just thought you were better than that," to dissuade him from caving to Cherri's pressure in episode 7. He connected best with Angel Dust when he stopped leveraging guilt and instead offered an open hand in episode 4, but he still has a tendency to apply that kind of pressure when he wants Angel to act "better," and while Angel's redeemable qualities were necessary for the plot in episode 7, I want to see how Husk would react when Angel isn't able to always behave like his best self, because he's still struggling and still under Valentino's thumb.
I think it would be really good for the growth of their relationship if Husk is able to see the worst of Angel and still be able to offer him safe harbor rather than judgment.
#hazbin hotel#huskerdust#angel dust#husk#hazbin hotel husk#personal#meta#i always stick a screenshot on my random meta ramblings so i can identify it in my notes lmao
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Okay I have a request for Regulus if you’re up for it… how about the reader having to wear him down because he believes he’s unlovable etc etc. but once she does, he’s the biggest softie, always gentle and caring and seeking her presence?? only if you feel like writing it though!!! Kisses
Hii! It’s taking me a while to get round to my requests but everyone feel free to send them in to keep me busy!! Kisses to u too my darling 🫶🫶
I actually turned out really loving this. It turned out a little angstier than I anticipated, though. Sorry.
Unlovable. ~R.A.B
{in which regulus believes no one could ever love him, but you’re here to prove otherwise.}
Regulus had been distant lately.
Avoiding you, which wasn’t normal. Not for you, at least. You’d been best friends, and the moment you started dating, it’s almost like something happened inside of regulus. He wasn’t around you much anymore. It hurt, honestly. To love somebody who hides from you. It took you a trip to the gryffindor common room, begging on your knees, incredibly puppy-eyes (that apparently all of the Black family is weak for, because it made Sirius melt too), a new chocolate bar for Remus and literally just a tight hug for James to get the marauders to lend you the map.
There it was. A pair of dark footprints teetering at the top of the astronomy tower, where you and your boyfriend often snook after hours, labelled ‘Regulus Black’ in elegant italics, much like his own trained penmanship.
The map was on the floor. You could vaguely hear James yelling at you not to drop it while you rushed to the tower. Lead curled around your heart, weighing heavily in your chest as you climbed the steep, eroded steps up to Regulus. You were thinking the worst. Your regulus was going to jump. Moonlight flooded your vision as you emerged, only to see a black silhouette stood precariously at the edge of the balcony. Your eyes widened and your stomach dropped as your very worst fears were reinforced.
“regulus?”
He spun around swiftly, his usual perfect black curls unruly and tousled out of the place by the cold wind. His eyes were wild and panicked and dark bags shadowed shadowed them. he was paler than usual, the white of his skin closely mimicking the pearly hue of the moon that ignited you both. You lifted your arms slowly, as if trying to calm a beast.
“Regulus, it’s me, it’s only me, sweetheart, calm down.”
“What do you want?”
“I want to know why you’ve been ignoring me.”
You said, keeping your tone calm as to not startle him. “Can you please come here? You’re scaring me.” Something changed in his eyes when you spoke that phrase, as if scaring you was out of the picture. He’d never want you to be scared of him, because he was meant to protect you. His rosy lip trembles, and at first you thought it was from the harsh chill of the night air, until it was accompanied by furrowed eyebrows, glossy eyes and him stumbling towards you with his arms outstretched like a child.
“Oh, Reg…” you hummed, cupping the back of his head with your hand as you tucked his face into your neck. His back started to heave with sobs so you used your other hand to rub soothing circles across his shoulders. “It’s so cold out here, you’re gonna-“
“Why do you fucking love me?” Regulus growled, his grip on you tightening almost aggressively.
“What?” You whisper, fear seeping into your veins. But in your heart, you knew regulus would never hurt you. He raised his head, staring deep into your eyes, face glazed in a mixture of frustration and despair.
“Why do you love me?”
You were silent. Why did you love regulus? Well, he was kind. Not to everyone, but to those he trusted, those he loved. He was incredibly loyal. He was a sensitive soul, underneath his facade. He was soft. He was beautiful. He was yours. But you couldn’t find the words to even begin to express the reasons behind your adoration for him.
“Regulus, you are… everything.”
His face changed. He looked almost bewildered, confused.
“What? I’m not anything. I’m from a family of fucking blood supremacists, I’m-“
You kissed him. He shut up in seconds when your lips pressed to his. “You’re fucking perfect. And you’re not them, Regulus. You’re perfect.” You told him sternly, gripping his shoulders hard, but gently. He broke down again, his face scrunching up as the tears began to fall. You pulled him in again. “No… no, I don’t deserve this. I- I don’t.” You shushed him, stroking his hair. “You deserve everything. And I love you. You deserve love most of all, Reggie.”
A week or so later…
Regulus was curled into your side in the slytherin common room. No one was there except him, Barty, and Evan. He’d fallen asleep with his head on your chest, and you didn’t have the heart to wake him to go to class, so Evan and Barty jumped at the chance to skip with you two. Though, Barty couldn’t refrain from making dramatic gagging noises whilst gripping Evan’s shoulder and lurching forwards every time regulus nuzzled closer to you in his sleep. He teased, sure, but really, he knew his friend had never been happier. He’d never seen regulus with so much sparkle in his eye. He’d never seen regulus so lovesick.
He’d never seen regulus so touchy with somebody.
He’d never seen him trust so deeply. love so unconditionally.
~~~
Please don’t copy any of my work!!
#regulus black#regulus black x reader#regulus black x reader prompt#marauders x reader#sirius black x reader#marauders#regulus black💌*~
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SAUDADE // JJK
once found, now lost; it’s a love that lingers and struggles to find closure
+
jungkook and oc attempt to be friends after a break-up
navi | m. list | ask me ! |
pairing: (somewhat) badboy jk + oc
au/genre:
post-break up au
one shot
angst, smut, vibes...
warnings:
mentions of blood, drinking, smoking, and drunk driving
smut ! creampie !
self loathing / bad habits
miscommunication
note: dedicated to @joonsjuice because she flew to meet me & all we did was laugh abt my fics 😭 my biggest fan frfr … i promised her i’d write so… surprise !!!
🏷️ permanent taglist: @joonsjuice @taetaecatboy @pb-n-juju @miss-rainy-days @firesighgirl @whoa-jo @vantxx95 @pamzn @kakixaku @casspirit0705 @tae165 @prdshobi @sopebubbles @leefics @ggukkieland @bebebutbetter @yoongimentita7 @boraength @era-genius @heem145 @4ksj @vampcharxter @miss-jupiter @floweryjeons @taegijns
Tonight was no different from the other nights Jungkook would waste away.
At least, it began like a regular Friday night party. It was the usual routine of getting high as he made his way to the party, some beer pong, and downing some shots of hard liquor, before stepping out to take a cigarette break. Soon, the night would be a blur and a pain in the ass of a headache to deal with the following morning.
Except, tonight, the people Jungkook usually ignores were extra irritating. So irritating that one guy came up to him mid-puff and asked; “are you still fucking ___? Heard she dumped you and shit, so she’s up for grabs right? She’s here tonight and I heard that she was a virgin before she met you… My guy, did you fuck her out or is her pussy the type to be just as tight as it was when you first fucked her?”
It’s no surprise what happens next.
A little cussing, a little shoving, and a little punch here and there… Suddenly turned into a full-blown fight with other people intervening and pulling Jungkook’s body off the imbecile.
That brings him here.
Jungkook struggles to fit his keys into his apartment locks and stumbles his way to his bathroom. There, runs a shower and steps in. He cleans himself, scrubbing the smell of his vices away. Blankly, he watches as the blood from his hands drips down and goes down the drain. When he finishes, he turns the water off and dries himself. Yet, his knuckles continue to bleed and for a split second, he sees how deep the cut is. His knuckles are absolutely busted. He wipes his foggy mirror and sighs at the sight of his face.
His lip is also busted. His eyebrow piercing is messed up and his eye will probably bruise up by morning. Honestly, he didn’t lose the fight.. But, it sure came with a cost.
Perhaps his adrenaline begins to wear off because his injuries begin to hurt like a bitch. He rummages through his cabinets and hisses, “fucking shit.”
He had no bandaids.
He barely has any ointments to tend to his wounds.
Jungkook winces at the pain as he runs water over his bloody knuckles. He’s been in fights before and even injured his hand a few months ago, but for some reason, this pain hits differently. It aches, it throbs, it feels like it’ll probably scar.
This stresses him out.
If the physical pain wasn’t bad enough, suddenly a million and one thoughts were flooding in and his heartbeat instantly begins to race. He could feel all his emotions come up and it made him nauseous. His head was spinning and before he knew it; his heart was beginning to ache.
He was truly hurting.
He had been thinking of you nonstop these days. It’s not like he ever got over the break-up—how could he? It’s only been three months since you. You two had been together for almost two years at that. How could he suddenly just be okay after three months of no you? If anything, he was only beginning to process the absence of you.
It’s not like he cared if you were at this party or not. If anything, he was happy to know you were around him. Even if you’d probably ignore him or offer him a generic greeting; he’d take it. It didn’t bother him that you were here… What bothered him was the mere idea of you taking one step closer, one fingertip brushing against his as you two bump into each other in the crowd; one moment. One mere second where you’d look at him a little longer than you should. One mere second where you’d smile at him the same way as you used to and then it’d be over.
He’d fall down to his knees and do it.
He’d beg for you.
He’d make promises, fully knowing he’d probably break them within the week. He’d cry and then he’d loathe himself for the rest of his life.
And loathe himself he does the minute he hears a knock on his door.
Quickly, he puts on his grey sweats and makes his way to answer. Without much thought, he swings the door open and it reveals a barefoot you.
“I figured you wouldn’t have any bandaids,” you hold out a plastic bag filled with First Aid materials. “We threw them out, remember? Because you promised me you wouldn’t get into fights and get hurt.”
“Where are your shoes?”
“M-my shoes? Oh. I had heels on. I think I left them at the pharmacy. I ran here.”
Jungkook sighs and shoves his hands into his pockets. He hangs his head low and mumbles, “I’m sorry.”
“I knew you were a bad boyfriend,” you choke, trying your best to keep it together. “But you didn’t need to break your promise.”
He looks up and is instantly wrapping his arms around you as you bury yourself in his chest. In between light sobs, you curl your fists and hit him. “I hate you.”
“I know.”
“I hate you so much,” you utter with as much annoyance as you can. “I really hate you, Jungkook.”
“I know, baby.”
“Don’t call me baby.”
“I—okay. Whatever you want.”
You take a deep breath and lift your head. You sniff as let him wipe your tears with his thumb. Swiftly, you take hold of his wrist and analyze his hands.
“I’m okay,” Jungkook promises. “It’s not that bad. Might need stitches but I’ll just go tomorrow morning. It’s kinda late.”
You roll your eyes at him. It’s just like him to neglect his health and well-being. “Hospitals are 24/7, Jungkook.”
“Yeah, but you’re here.”
A beat.
“So what?”
“You brought me bandaids.”
It feels weird being in Jungkook’s bathroom again.
All you can think about are all the times you two stood side by side, brushing your teeth. How you’d flush the toilet while he was showering or how he’d barge in while you were taking yours. The slow morning back-hugs and the irritating haste of running late to plans.. It’s all in here. It all happened here as silly as it sounds.
Though it’s only been three months, it’s a bit painful to be sitting on the floor with him and patching him up as if the bandaids were going to fix anything. His cuts ran deep and the bandaids only covered the damage. Yet, you two sit there in silence and pretend like this is a solution. Like sticking bandaids on a wound that clearly needs stitches wasn’t an excuse to just be with him again.
“This isn’t the you I know,” you comment, half-heartedly trying to pick a fight.
“It’s the me I’ve always been. I mean, isn’t this why you broke up with me?”
“No,” you shake your head in disagreement with his vile words.
Jungkook bites the inside of his cheeks. “I’m sorry for bringing so much shit in your life.”
“You didn’t,” you reassure him. “You don’t.”
You don’t say anything further. Could you even? The situation is already as horrible as it can be. Now, it has this awkward yet intimate pull on you. It just burns. If anything, you want to say it. You want to spit it all out and tell him everything.
Tell him that you broke up with him because you would’ve stayed through it all. You would’ve bailed him out of every charge pressed against him. You would’ve forgiven him every time he forgot a important date. You would’ve gotten into the car even if you knew he had been drinking. You would’ve skipped every morning class to sleep in with him. You would’ve loved him more than your own life and that horrified you.
Nonetheless, he was always good to you. You just wish he was good to himself. Though you believe him when he told you he loved you; you couldn’t wait for him to change. As much as you love him as he was—the essence of youth, anticipation, and longing he carried soon turned into a mess of anger and fuck ups.
But how could you ever think that as he sits in front of you, hurting, and still completely in love with you?
Jungkook breaks the silence. “Thank you… For this.”
“Don’t thank me,” you say sternly. Peeling another bandaid and eyeing it to perfectly cover his wound, you encourage him; “just do better.”
“I’m trying,” he says softly.
Your heart sinks.
“I know,” you take out an ointment and squeeze a bit on a q tip. Tilting his face, you reach up and apply the medicine to the cuts on his face. “I believe you.”
It’s the truth.
You do.
Jungkook can’t help himself.
He wraps his hands on your wrist, causing you to pause. There’s a look in his eyes—the kind that makes your heart feel utter heartbreak and relief at the same time. It’s devastating… To love someone and want them so bad that it hurts.
“J-Jungkook… Don’t,” you croak, trying your best to keep it together. “Don’t ruin this.”
“Ruin what?”
You push away. “This. I’m trying to be a friend, Jungkook. Don’t make it any more than it is. We broke up—”
“You dumped me,” he corrects you. “When did I ever say I didn’t want to be with you?”
“Jungkook—”
“Please, ___, I’m sorry. Believe me when I say that, okay?” He begs, bringing your hands to cup his face. “I can’t do this anymore. I hate not being with you.”
Your eyes tear up and your walls come crashing down. You hate the way he sounds right now. His voice sounds so desperate and honest. You’ve never heard it sound like this before.. Even when you dumped him, he was silent. This… This is new.
“I don’t know what to say,” you admit. “Why are you sorry? How did it get this way?” It’s the most painful thing you’ve managed to say to him tonight. Your heart continues to break as his breath hitches.
“I’m no good for heartache, baby.”
Your mind spins.
Your stomach feels like it’s just been hit with a gust of wind so strong that you’ve lost all the words and thoughts you gathered before coming over. It’s like every reason you made up on your way here is just being tossed out the window.
“You’re the only thing that ever made sense to me.”
Then, it hits.
You remember exactly why you stayed for so long. Regardless of how much the break-up needed to be done, the truth remains; you and Jungkook have always understood each other. In any language and in any universe, that’s the most romantic feeling to ever encounter. To have the privilege of loving someone and understanding them runs deeper than any cut.
You two stay silent for a moment, trying to process and convince yourselves to take your words back. Anything. Take anything back.
But your attempt fails.
Self-betrayal takes place as you lean in and close your eyes. Jungkook dips his head low and kisses you. Little drops of water fall down the side of your face because of Jungkook’s wet hair. Honestly, if someone had told you it was your tears; you’d believe them. At this point, did it really matter?
For the first time in three months, Jungkook feels at ease.
His sheets still smell the same. They feel the same too. Soft, clean, and just so him.
At first, Jungkook attempts to take charge. Just like before, he had you lie down to take care of you. Unfortunately for him, because of his condition, he wasn’t able to do much. Instead, he hovered on top and took his time kissing you. His hands wandered around your body, ultimately settling for the spot in between your neck and cheeks.
Your hands traveled down inside his pants.
“Calvin Klein boxers are still by far the hottest look on you,” you claim in between kisses. He smiles into the kiss and mumbles; “yeah, yeah.”
You laugh as he attempts to slip his fingers down your panties. He hisses in pain and groans. “I fucking hate this.”
“Oh? I can go—”
“Shut up.”
“Meanie.”
He rolls his eyes at you. “I’m literally trying to get you off and you’re insisting on leaving. Do you resent me that much?”
Shaking your head, you digress. “I don’t resent you.”
He kisses you in response. As he sinks into it, you put your hands on his waist and catch him off guard. You shift your weight and bring yourself on top of him. Making yourself comfortable, you roll your hips on top of his bulge and lift your arms. He sits up halfway and helps you take off your shirt. Without hesitating, he unclasps your bra and wraps his arms around you. He brings you down and kisses you so deeply. Slipping his tongue in and even biting your bottom lip as he breaks away for air. With as much strength as he can, he feels around your breast.
God, this was the worst fucking time to have busted hands.
“It’s okay,” you tell him as you take his hands off your breasts. “Let me take care of you.”
Jungkook gulps but nods and agrees with you. In all honesty, he was tired. He wants you so bad and this was helping him feel relieved. However, it was just too painful and inconvenient to part-take the same way as he used to. He’s glad you understand and are comfortable enough to take over. He’s glad he feels safe and that his ego wasn’t being jeopardized.
He was no less of a man for letting you love him the way you do. If anything, it made him feel another level of security with you.
You lift yourself a little and take his length out. On top, you continue to grind on his velvet skin. It feels so good even with the fabric of your panties. Jungkook moans, beginning to feel the tingly feeling arise. He hooks his thumb on one side of your panties and pushes the fabric aside. He pushes it just enough for your folds to come in contact with his cock.
Oh, it felt so fucking good.
You gasp a little before giggling. “Feels so good.”
Jungkook sharply inhales. “Baby, I’m gonna cum so fucking fast if you don’t start riding me.”
You laugh, but listen to him. You lift yourself up once again and this time, you sink into his throbbing cock.
The precum from grinding on him makes it a little easier for you, but it still burns a bit. You stay still, trying to process the feeling and Jungkook takes a minute to calm his mind. He would literally bust a nut if you moved.
“Okay,” you huff. “I’m good to go. Do you still need a minute?”
“Fuck you,” Jungkook breathes.
“That’s a yes,” you tease. “I need to move or I’ll start to feel icky. You have ten more seconds.”
Jungkook glares at you. “Generous timing. Thank you, baby.”
“Aren’t I just the best?” you laugh, moving closer to him. You squish his cheeks together and place a kiss on his pouty lips. “Times up. Gonna ride you now.”
He takes a deep breath before placing his hands on your hips. You take that as the signal to begin. Also, you can’t help but love this view.
His bare chest and tattoos are displayed so perfectly for you. His damp hair adds to his needy look. If you were standing, your knees would have buckled. Instead—and God bless—you’re here. On top of him, ready to ride the shit out of him.
Easily, you begin to ride him. Every time you sink into his cock, you shift your body. You feel him inside you get harder and harder and love the way you can feel him hit your walls from various angles. It just feels so good to be with him again.
As you ride him, you two fall into the perfect pace. The high kicks in and suddenly the view of your breast bouncing, you throwing your head back, and the way your wet pussy eats him up—he creams inside you.
Satisfied, Jungkook lets out a breathy moan and watches his cum leak out of your pussy. You continue to ride him, but your hips move slower and you lift yourself up higher. Jungkook lifts his hips at one point and thrusts as you bounce. You gasp, unable to fathom just how fucking euphoric this feels.
“Ohhh my god!”
You hit climax and cum.
After all that, your body practically trembles and falls on top of Jungkook. He holds you, runs his fingers through your hair, and tells you how much of a good job you did. As you catch your breath, your breathing stabilizes but also welcomes the sleepiest relief.
As your eyes flutter close and your body fully collapses on Jungkook, he kisses the top of your head and murmurs; “you’re still the one, baby.”
When the sunlight seeps in, Jungkook slowly wakes up.
Immediately, he feels a sharp pain in his hand. He looks over and sees that you’re holding it. His hand is kept close to your chest and quickly recalls the night.
Though he feels a bit embarrassed that he had been that desperate for you; he’s glad it got him here. Yet, a feeling of sadness lingers because he was no idiot.
Though you wake up next to him in the morning, bare and tangled in his embrace, Jungkook knows that deep down; even here—at the very end of you and him—you are you and he remains him.
The sad truth is that Jungkook understood it. He understood you. Which is why, he’ll never tell you why he got into a fight that night and also why he’ll continue to fight for you until the end.
“Even if it’s the end for us.”
#bts smut#bts one shot#jungkook scenario#badboy jungkook#jungkook imagine#jungkook x oc#jungkook x yn#jungkook x reader#jungkook bts#bts fanfic#bts writing#bts scenario#jungkook fic#bts exes to lovers#bts friends with benefits#bts e2l#bts fwb#jungkook smut#bts fic rec#jk one shot
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The conversation about the death of Sydney's mom in 2x9 is so unhinged. At first we're made to think Carmy's responding the way 99.9% of people would to hearing about someone's dead loved one - "I'm sorry" - but no, before his mind arrives at that automatic human response, his first thought is to apologize for not knowing this deeply personal fact about his girlfriend business partner: I'm sorry...I feel like I should have known that. The writers know what they we doing. Especially in the context of the next part of the conversation. Syd immediately shuts down what she thinks is the token apology she's been on the receiving end of for 20+ years. I honestly don't think she even hears what he says after "I'm sorry". It's only after she shuts him down for what she thinks is the token apology that Carmy actually gives said token apology. For whhyyy did they write I feel like I should have known that. I mean we know why but let's do a quick Claire comparison. After creepily getting Carmy's number from Fak, this exchange happens in 2x3:
Claire: Okay can you just, can you just not make this weird? (the cognitive dissonance of this statement, Claire, babe...) Like I just need a favor. My cousin bailed on me.
Carmy: What, Big Denny?
Claire: No, Mac. Denny's dead.
Carmy: Oh. Damn, Denny.
Claire: Yeah, totally sucks, but I have to move all this shit for my mom who is not dead. She's absolutely thriving...(rest of convo is irrelevant to my point)
There was no narrative need to emphasize the fact that Claire's mom is alive (and thriving!) other than to directly contrast Sydney. You can't even say oh it's a throwback to the dark humor of S1 with the two "I'm not dead, my brother's dead" conversations Carmy has with the health inspector lady (1x2) and Mr. Szorski at Cicero's catering gig (1x4) because those scenes are dark and sad and funny because we know and care about Carmy and Mikey whereas we do not know or care about Big Denny or Claire's mom. Carmy and Mikey are the absolute driving forces of the show, especially in S1 whereas we never see or hear about those two other characters. But, interestingly, Carmy clearly knew Big Denny and didn't even respond with the (as established) token "I'm sorry." Whereas he looks absolutely anguished over Sydney's mom, a woman he's never met and knows absolutely nothing about. But he plays it like he's finding out about the death of his mother in law because he feels like he should have known. And yes, granted in this context dead mom > dead cousin on the emotional scale but still. Carmy's two reactions are so starkly opposite.
It's just so pointed to have Carmy react to the deaths of his girlfriend's and girl-who-is-a friend's relatives, no? We knew the reveal of Sydney's mom was coming because it's narratively relevant, it's such a formative part of Sydney (hence why it hits Carmy like a gut punch). But to unnecessarily bring up Claire's mom for what other reason than contrast with Sydney, right?
Okay, to bring it back to the scene in question - this man is able to pull the biggest smile and laugh from Syd all season by matching her energy and making a deadpan joke about her deceased mom. But it's fine because he doesn't think he's funny (1x8). He doesn't need to bring pleasure or amusement to others (2x10). I can't.
#the bear fx#the bear#the bear hulu#chefskiss#sydcarmy#carmy x sydney#sydney x carmy#syd x carmen#carmen berzatto#carmy berzatto#sydney adamu#ayo edebiri#jeremy allen white#cinematic parallels#parallels
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