#oh my god i actually made art finally i was fucking stuck for days bro
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Omen and his besties who are all mean goth-y girls
#omen#valorant omen#valorant#viper#valorant viper#sabine callas#waffle art#oh my god i actually made art finally i was fucking stuck for days bro#im gonna use the little energy this gave me to work on stuff i was stuck in now
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I come bearing a request! The Brothers with an MC who's really good at cooking and baking? Like, the stuff food blogs dream of. Master-level instagram pastries. Could compete with the chocolate guy if they put their mind to it.
👀 ooooo, I do love me some pastries-
(I know you have an *ahem* distaste for Lucifer, dear moot, so enjoy Lucifer acting like a bit of a dingus in his section!)
Lucifer
Oh, the human can cook. *insert asshole eyeroll here*. Great. Wonderful. Groundbreaking. That’s what’s got all his brothers acting like- what was that word Levi used? Simps? This human has turned six of the seven rulers of hell into a bunch of simps.
Sure, the human has near godlike cooking prowess. Sure, everyone looks forward to their day for cooking. And sure, everyone thinks the human’s pretty great.
Tsk, not him though. He’s a refined demon. Some silly food isn’t going to make him a lovesick fool… did he smell eclairs..?
Lucifer peered into the kitchen to see MC carefully taking a tray of eclairs out of the oven and letting them cool off on the counter. His favourite dessert… right there in front of him…
Due to not being a total moron, MC notices Lucifer and asks him what the hell he’s doing just standing ominously in the doorway. Lucifer makes up some bullshit excuse about reminding MC to do their homework and just leaves. Okay, game plan, he needs those fucking eclairs or he will spontaneously combust.
As he snuck into the kitchen that night, Lucifer took a moment to briefly wonder why he was creeping around his own house. He was the Avatar of Pride for pity’s sake! He could eat whatever he damn well pleased! Oh shit was someone coming- no? Okay, back to sneaking.
Lucifer crept into the kitchen, saw the eclairs, and all logic was thrown out the window. Time to eat!
“BEEL NO! NOT THE- Lucifer..?” “…” “…” “…you’re very talented, MC, do you mind making more of these?”
SOMEONE SNAP A PICTURE! THIS IS THE CLOSEST LUCIFER HAS GOTTEN TO BEGGING IN THE LAST THOUSAND YEARS!
Mammon
Ugh, stuck babysittin’ some dumb human, how lame…
As Mammon was throwing a “I’m broke and I’m stuck in a pact with a dumb human” pity party, the most heavenly smell entered his nostrils. Cooking… good cooking… was Barbatos visiting or somethin’? Nah, Lucifer woulda made a big fuss about gettin’ ready for Lord Diavolo. Huh, so what was goin’ on in the kitchen?
Huh? The human? The human can cook? Well damn, maybe this whole deal wouldn’t be so bad. Oi! MC! As payment for babysittin’ ‘em, he got to have an extra big share of- OW!
Did- did the human just hit him with a spoon?! Th-they can’t do that!
Apparently they fucking can. Mammon gets told to sit the fuck down and wait for the food like everyone else. He grumbles on the way to the dining room, but he can’t fully hide his excitement to try the food.
The food even looked pretty! How did they do that?! Magic. It had to be!
After everyone’s tastebuds were blessed with the heavenly substance that is MC’s culinary exploits, Mammon decides he needs to get on this human’s good side in order to receive more food! Maybe even find some way to make a profit or somethin’!
After weeks go by of trying to suck up to the human without looking like too much of a chump, Mammon eventually realizes… hey, this human ain’t so bad. They’re nice, they make him feel good about himself, they give him headpats… he’s really hit the jackpot here!
He’ll offer to help MC bake or cook, but beware, he will try and sample the food before it’s done. Don’t let him lick the spoon!!!
Leviathan
First thought? This human ain’t shit. Thought after seeing their food? WOAAAAAAAH! JUST LIKE THAT ONE ANIME-
He was unceremoniously cut off by Beel asking demanding seconds. Humph, fine, he doesn’t actually care about this dumb normie food anyway.
…well at least until Levi saw a little something something on TV that he just had to ask MC to try and make. He shyly knocked on their door and when they answered, Levi shoved the screenshot in their face and stuttered out a dinner request.
On the day MC was supposed to make dinner, Levi poked his head into the kitchen and tried to make it look like he was just standing in the same room as MC and not checking to see if they were making his dinner request.
Not that he’d blame them for not doing that… who’d wanna make some anime dinner for a yucky Otaku- OMG JAHSHSHABA THEY’RE MAKING IT! *fangirl squeals*
As Levi continues to commit the SIN of being in the kitchen at the same time as someone else, MC eventually just asks him if he’d like to help out.
“Here! Just keep turning the takoyaki.” “R-really? You trust me?” “Yes, Levi. You watched how they made it on your show, right?” “Yes! I won’t mess up! I swear on my honour as an otaku!”
All in all, it was a very cute bonding experience for the two. Now it’s a regular thing. Levi requests something for dinner or dessert, MC makes it, Levi helps out.
Satan
So, the human can cook. That’s nice. At least someone in this literally god forsaken house can.
He makes sure to thank MC every time they cook, then he makes sure to thank whatever deity is watching over him that Solomon wasn’t the human staying with them.
As the months progress, Satan realizes, he should learn how to cook better. I mean, Levi and Mammon were somehow both improving in their cooking endeavours, and if MC could teach those two, then he would be a breeze.
Satan walked into the kitchen and simply asked if MC needed any assistance with what they were doing. MC just slid him some garlic to dice and that’s how this mentor/student relationship was formed.
Satan was a star pupil, but Mammon and Levi weren’t above trying to sabotage Satan’s progress to get him to leave.
Here’s the thing, the sabotage worked, but it only worked once, and the two idiots didn’t stop to think that maybe they shouldn’t sabotage the meal they were going to have to eat later.
Well, cooking lessons continued uninterrupted after the ghost pepper incident…
Even when he’s ‘graduated’ their little cooking class, Satan’s always willing to lend a hand if needed. He also will slyly hand over some recipe books and cute baking supplies that he finds. MC should be prepared for lots of cat related things to come their way.
Asmodeus
The human can cook? Oh frabcious day! He’s saved from a life of his brother’s mediocre cooking! And the human’s so cute too! What a bonus!
Not only is the human cute, but their food is just so… aesthetic??? Pretty???? Omigosh he just has to get a picture for Devilgram!
For the first few months, MC’s relationship with Asmo consists of Asmo not at all subtly asking to take pictures of their food and post it to his Devilgram. Listen MC, his followers would just love it!
Being the saint-sheep they are, MC lets Asmo sit in whenever they’re making anything in the kitchen. And Asmo slowly realizes “hey, this cute human with the awesome food is actually pretty cool too!”
New Mission: Make the human fall madly in love with him so they’ll want to hang out more.
Whether the mission succeeds is up to MC of course. (I mean, I’m already smitten with him sooooooooo-)
MC offers Asmo a lot of the pastries they make, but the Avatar of Lust almost always declines. Listen honey, he’s on a diet- wait, don’t make that sad face! He’ll eat it! Look! It’s- it’s delicious…
Diet cheat day is now every day MC makes dessert. The feeling of bliss Asmo gets when he takes a bite out of anything MC makes is only second of the treats is second only to the joy he feels at seeing MC happy that he likes their food. It’s just so wholesome I can’t-
MC’s food Devilgram has almost surpassed Asmo in terms of followers and honestly- he isn’t even mad.
Beelzebub
Gasp! Lucifer finally got him the pet personal chef he’d always wanted! Thanks big bro! :D he’ll be sure not to eat this human!
On the first night MC was supposed to make dinner, Lucifer needed to hold Beel back from breaking into the kitchen to see what was causing that heavenly smell. It was, difficult… especially because Lucifer hadn’t slept in three days.
When they all sat down to eat, Beel practically inhaled everything and held up his half bitten plate for seconds.
We here at Stupid Headcanons incorporated recommend that MC have as many bodyguards as possible stationed around the kitchen at all times to ward off a hungry Beel. We don’t want him eating the ingredients and half-tempered chocolate.
A cinnamon roll through and through, he’ll eat everything MC gives him with a big ol’ smile on his cute little face. He’s not the best person to go to if MC wants advice or critique because the best thing Beel can usually muster is “it was really good.”
As Luke said in Lesson 5, Beel would make an awful food reporter. But we love him.
Similar to Levi, he’ll give meal requests on what to make for dinner. (At this rate, MC’s going to have to make some kind of list).
He kind of just waits by the door like a sad puppy whenever MC is making anything because he can’t get into the kitchen :(
Belphegor
The smell of freshly made chocolate chip cookies wafting through the house did reach the attic and it only fuelled his rage more. How dare the human win everyone over with cookies?!
After the attic incident, Belphie was won over with cookies.
Belphie just stands creepily in the kitchen doorway whenever MC is making anything and just makes shit really uncomfortable. Why’s he doing that, you may be wondering, well, he’s trying to calculate the energy needed to swipe the bowl of cookie dough and sprint to safety.
He never succeeds, mainly because once he gets to the bowl, MC already has the wooden spoon ready to smack him, so he just freezes mid-theft and slowly puts the bowl down.
“Oh my gosh, it says let the bread dough rest overnight? Let’s get a headstart and go to sleep now.” “Belphie what-” “I made a pillow Fort, come in. Let’s sleep.” “In the kitchen????”
How’d he make the pillow Fort without MC noticing? Years of experience. He’s trained in the art of- MC? What do you mean you can’t sleep right now and you need to get a head start on shaping fondant?
…he may have eaten the fondant while MC wasn’t looking… whoops… Beel may have rubbed off on him a little…
#Obey me! Headcanons#Obey me Headcanons#obey me#obey me!#obey me! shall we date?#obey me shall we date#obey me mc#obey me mammon#Obey me Lucifer#Obey me Leviathan#Obey me Satan#Obey me Asmodeus#Obey me Beelzebub#Obey me Belphegor
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Till’ The End of Summer - Chapter 1
>> series masterlist <<
Pairing: Choi Yeonjun x Reader
In a Nutshell: College!AU, Rich Kids, Friends to Lovers, Fuckboy athlete Yeonjun, Overprotective Best friend Soobin, contains all of TXT and other Idol cameos, Omnipresent perspective.
Synopsis: You and Yeonjun are caught up in a cat and mouse game because of unspoken feelings and endless pining for each others’ attention. With the summer break approaching and lots of college parties, will you finally get a chance to explore your feelings for each other even though the world and Yeonjun’s reputation makes things complicated?
Word count: 3.2K
Genre: Angst, Fluff,
Warnings: Mentions of sex, alcohol, overall pretty tame.
A/N: English isn’t my first language, pls don’t come for me ;) Also the first chapter sucks and is more of an introduction so pls give ch 2 a chance lmaoo, it’s juicy, i promise.
You were exhausted.
Your second year of college had passed like a whirlwind and you didn’t even have the time to realise.
Deadline after deadline after deadline had passed and you finally handed in your last paper of the year.
You sigh in relief. The pent up tension leaves ur body and the stress seems to fade more and more as the seconds pass. You stare blankly at your laptop screen. Still not quite realising how you managed to write ten thousand words of scientific research just 3 days before the deadline.
You feel two firm hands on your shoulders, massaging you as a way to show comfort “Hey, are you okay? You look like you’re about to cry.”
The voice and sudden skinship startled you a little but as soon as you realise who it is, you relax in his touch.
You remove your Airpods and look up at your best friend, Soobin, who sat down next to you at your favourite secluded table in the school’s cafeteria. It’s where your friends could always find you if you had work to do.
“I just might” you sigh throwing your head back. And suddenly a huge grin crept up your face. Which worked contagiously as Soobin instantly started to smile back at you.
“I did it. I finished all of the work.” You say putting your hand on your forehead dramatically.
Soobin chuckled nudging your shoulder. “I told you, you’d be fine. You always manage to pull through even though you procrastinate so much.” He says as he high-fives you.
You pout at his statement. Yes. It’s a serious problem. “I just-”
You stop your sentence midway as that god walks into the cafeteria. His confident stride to the soda machine dressed in simple athletic wear made your jaw drop slightly. He was sweaty, probably from basketball practice. His chestnut hair damp, cascading his forehead and prickling his eyes. He blinked a few times before blowing the hair out of his face with his pouty lips.
You swallow harshly at the sight and Soobin follows your gaze. You hear him chuckle, right before he flicks your forehead.
“Maybe if you stopped drooling over my roommate, you would’ve been able to focus.”
You send him a glare, kicking his knee under the table, making him yelp out in pain, which caught someone’s attention.
Yeonjun takes out his soda from the machine as his head snaps in your direction. He smiles and approaches your table. Your heart decided to do martial arts in your chest with every step he took towards your table.
You look away from his gaze quickly pretending to be busy with your laptop.
“Hey, what’s up?” Yeonjun said ‘bro-fiving’ Soobin.
“Nothing much, just the usual abuse from miss thing here,” Soobin says sending you a look as he rubs his knee.
“Abuse? I didn’t know you were into that.” Yeonjun says giving you a coy smile, and you nearly choked at his words, looking at him wide-eyed.
You try your best to keep your cool, but Yeonjun was leaning against your chair, inching dangerously close, looking over your shoulder.
“Watchu working on?” he asks cutting the tension.
Oh Yeonjun, always so friendly and interested. If only he knew the effect he had on you. Or the effect he had on at least half of the female and male population of your elite college.
“N-nothing. I mean I just finished it. It’s the paper for Mr. Davis’s class. The last one, so summer can finally start.” You ramble, not sure why you’re telling him all of these details. It’s not like he cares.
You take a mental note to shut up, stealing a quick glance from Soobin who was awkwardly shifting in his seat.
Yeonjun let out a chuckle, patting your back. “Good job, I knew you could do it. This paper will give you an advantage next year right?”
You look up in confusion. “How’d you know?”
“Soobinnie here told me that this paper was the reason you bailed on the party two days ago. Such a shame, would’ve been nice to have you there you know…” Yeonjun says a little lost in thought absentmindedly moving a strand of your hair behind your ear.
Was he? Flirting?
“I have all the time in the world now, so if you want to see me so badly, just give me a call.” You say confidently crossing your arms. You were testing him, and he seemed amused by your sudden confidence.
Soobin rolled his eyes at the two of you. Yeonjun is a notorious fuckboy. A star player of the basketball team, rich, handsome, charming but also his best friend and teammate. You were also his best friend that he had known since childhood, which means that the two of you were a recipe for disaster in his books.
The two of you planned to go to the same college since your parents pushed you to do so, but also because you two are joined at the hip since birth. Oh and did you mention that Soobin was the one with the full basketball scholarship, while you had to rely on your actual brain to get one?
Ever since you started college and were introduced to Choi Yeonjun, you had a meaningless crush on him. But since time passed and you got close to Soobin’s friends and vice versa, your feelings towards him seemed to escalate and you could tell that Yeonjun was into you too. You just didn’t know in what way.
Soobin always tried his best to keep you two apart because he didn’t want you to get hurt. Soobin knew Yeonjun was just going to be in it for the sex and is not ready for a relationship in any way or form.
But Soobin also knows that if you have set your mind to something, there’s absolutely no way that he can talk you out of it. You have always had a fascination for bad boys, wanting to fix them and then crying to Soobin about it when it didn’t work out. It might be the quality he hates about you the most.
But this time it was different. This time it was between two people that Soobin genuinely cared for. So he was against the two of you having any type of relationship other than friendship.
Soobin cleared his throat, diverting the attention back to him. “That sounds nice and all, but I think y/n will be going back home for summer. Right?”
You’re confused by Soobin’s sudden cock blocking and raise your eyebrow at him.
“No, actually. I’m not. Not this year. My parents are traveling through Europe so there’s nothing for me to go home to.” You say. Soobin knows about this. So why would he mention you going back home?
“Well. That’s great. Then we can finally hang out with the whole squad without any of us bailing because of school work.” Yeonjun says smiling.
“Anyways, I’ve got to go. I guess I’ll…see you around?” Yeonjun asks staring at you intently. You just nod in response giving him a smile, which he returned to you immediately. It was more of a smirk than a smile though and you could swear his eyes wandered to your chest, but you didn’t want to jump to any conclusions.
“See you back home bro” Yeonjun said patting the younger one on his shoulder before walking off.
As Yeonjun was out of sight, your head snaps back to Soobin, who was glaring at you.
“What was that about,” you say crossing your arms, fire spitting from your pupils.
“That’s so NOT happening” Soobin states taking a sip out of his water bottle while keeping eye contact.
“Excuse you?” you say lost for words.
Soobin just shrugs, he’s visibly annoyed and you know not to push his buttons right now but you decide to do so anyway.
“Listen, I know you’re practically my brother and all. But you’re not. So I don’t see why you need to act like you are, I like him Soobin. Let me explore my feelings for him a little.” You say in a hushed tone trying not to sound too bitchy, but Soobin just scoffs in response, rolling his eyes at you.
“It’s your feelings that I’m worried about y/n, cause he certainly doesn’t care. He just wants to fuck. If he actually liked you, he wouldn’t look at you like you’re a meal. He’d look at you with affection.”
You’re taken aback by his statement and you’re not so sure if you should bite back at him. Instead, you let him explain some more as you wave your hand at him as a sign for him to continue.
“I care about both of you. I just don’t want this y/n, because when worse comes to worst I will have to choose, and then I will choose you and everything will go to shit. I am his captain, we have the same group of friends, we share multiple classes, hell, we share a whole apartment” Soobin sighs massaging his temples.
“Ok…Ok…Jesus” you give in.
“I promise; I won’t engage” you pout.
“Good,” Soobin says. “Please for once just…listen to me. Trust me, he’s not the type of guy to want a relationship right now.”
“Ok.” You sigh. “But this means you and your girlfriend will be stuck with me all summer then.”
Soobin looks up, confused at how easy it was to talk you out of it. He smiles at you sweetly and his eyes disappear into crescent moons as he does so. “I can’t wait to get mani-pedi’s.” He laughs sarcastically clapping his massive hands together cutely while visibly relaxing in his seat.
Suddenly your heart gets all soft at the sight of the giant baby in front of you. In a way he is right. He’s telling you all the things that you already knew. And the last thing you wanted was to hurt Soobin for some dumb crush you had on a college boy.
“Soobin is just the captain cause he’s the tallest” Yeonjun argues.
You giggle at his childish statement. You were at the park off-campus with some of your friends. Soobin had his arm draped around his girlfriend Mia’s shoulder while she leaned into him. They were disgustingly adorable. And every time they displayed a little too much PDA all of your friends would throw snacks at them.
Beomgyu, Taehyun, and Hueningkai had also joined you on the picnic. You were sitting with your legs draped over Beomgyu’s so there would be enough space for everyone on the blanket you brought.
All of you munched on different types of snacks. And you tried your hardest to keep your distance from Yeonjun without making it obvious.
“Soobin hyung is the captain because he’s not as full of himself as you are” Taehyun said, making everyone but Yeonjun laugh.
He gave Taehyun the glare of death and pouted afterward to show playfulness. “I get no respect in this household” Yeonjun sighs as he throws an M&M at Tae’s head, which he dodged just in time.
Your heart did a jump at the sight of his pout and as if he could sense it, Yeonjun made eye contact with you.
He smirked, looking away when you did.
Mia looked at you, narrowing her eyes as she saw the way you two were stealing glances from each other like high school kids.
Mia was one of your closest friends whom you had introduced to Soobin in the first year. They started dating not long after they met. And from time to time you still remind them of the fact that if it weren’t for you, they’d be sad and lonely.
Mia knew you like the back of her hand, just like Soobin did. So keeping a secret from either of them was basically impossible. The two of them tend to gang up on you a lot. Even though you know It’s out of love and concern, it’s still really fucking annoying sometimes. Especially when it comes to your love life.
“I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” you say getting up. Beomgyu reluctantly removed his arm from your leg and uses it as a supporting rod for you to get up.
You smile and thank him, which made Yeonjun narrow his eyes at the two of you, which Mia also noticed.
Soobin however was lost in deep conversation with Hueningkai about some Math problems he had.
Huening was a freshman, just like Tae, but since they were on the basketball team as well, they were all pretty close. And they helped each other out whenever they could.
You admired their friendship and were happy to call them your friends as well.
“I’ll come with you,” Mia says untangling her man's arms from her waist as she tries to get up, earning a sad pout from Soobin in return. “Come back soon,” he said sighing.
“Don’t be disgusting” Yeonjun and you say at the exact same time. Earning chuckles from everyone.
You look at each other surprised and laugh like the two of you were in your own world.
This time, Soobin noticed, and you try your best to avoid his gaze.
“You two are just bitter cause you’re single” Taehyun stated throwing his head back in evil laughter.
“Well so are you, so are all of you except for them so what’s your point exactly” Yeonjun bites back giving Taehyun a beaming smile while stuffing his face with a handful of the chocolates.
“Ehm, shall we?” Mia nudged you and you nodded as the boys’ bickering became background noise while you walked off together.
“Why do chicks always go to the bathroom together” Hueningkai questioned with genuine curiosity.
“So they can talk shit in private,” Beomgyu said wiggling his eyebrows.
As Mia and you walked further and further from your spot, Mia looks over her shoulder to determine if it’s a safe enough distance to start gossiping.
“Dude” she nudges you while speaking in a hushed tone.
“Why were you and Yeonjun literally eye-fucking each other in front of everyone.”
Your eyes grow wide and you turn around facing her. “Eye-fucking” you repeat her, suppressing a chuckle while trying to be as nonchalant as possible.
“I think you’re seeing things.” You say shrugging.
“Am I y/n?” she looks at you with a stern expression, and this time you’ve had about enough.
You sigh in frustration as you open the door to the public bathroom entrance.
“Look, Soobin already gave me the ‘Yeonjun is a fuckboy so stay away’ lecture, I really don’t need to hear it again.”
“Soobin lectured you about not engaging with Yeonjun?” Mia says surprised.
You raise your eyebrows. “You didn’t know? I thought he told you everything.”
Mia sighs. “If you like him, who’s Soobin to tell you what to do with those feelings?”
Your jaw drops, in awe of the fact that she’s siding with you on this one. “But if he hurts you, I’ll break his ankles.” She says determined, with her psycho protective smile. Ah, there it is.
“Well. Soobin really gave me an ultimatum. He basically says that if things end badly, he would have to choose between us and that it’d ruin not only his friendship but the team’s teamwork and everything. I don’t want to have that on my conscience just because I’m lusting over Yeonjun.”
Mia nearly busted a lung laughing and you cocked your eyebrow at her in surprise. “What are you laughing about” you try to suppress a smile, amused by her sudden outburst.
“He. Is. So. Dramatic” she says still recovering from her laughing fit.
“He is?” you ask genuinely interested in her point of view.
“Yes, he is. Look I don’t want to be the one to push you into toxicity or anything but we know Yeonjun. He is sweet? And nice. And he has never given me an off vibe. I can tell he has eyes for you, the only problem is that a lot of girls have eyes for him too and that can become a problem. The issue is if YOU can handle that.” Mia fixes your hair while she speaks and you sigh.
She’s right. “But Soobin”
“Oh fuck Soobin, I’ll keep my mouth shut. Just live a little. What’s the worst that could happen.”
“Did you pee out the whole lake? That took forever.” Soobin states yanking Mia back into his lap.
“I missed you,” he says nuzzling his face in her neck.
“Ok, gross.” Beomgyu rolled his eyes.
“There was a line” you lie walking over to Yeonjun’s side, sitting down between him and Hueningkai this time. This action earned a look from Soobin, who was basically cursing at you with his eyes, all while Mia smiled at you knowingly. It also earned a look from Yeonjun, he looked at you surprised but content, and he gave you a sweet smile, his facial expression softened immediately when you nudged him playfully as you sat down next to him.
The whole afternoon was spent laughing and bickering. Listening to the boys’ none sense and Taehyun making snacks disappear and appear with his never-ending magic tricks. All while the six of you were busting your brains trying to solve Hueningkai’s mathematical equations for his engineering class.
Yeonjun inched closer to you from time to time. The both of you were in charge of the music that was blasting from your portable speaker. You compared your Spotify playlists and noticed how much you have in common with him music-wise. It was fun seeing Yeonjun becoming all passionate about his favourite artists, it certainly didn’t help the fact that you were trying to keep a distance from him. Cause his cute little mannerisms and the way he gets so engrossed in his storytelling made you fall for him even more. Face first to be exact.
From time to time you would feel Yeonjun’s gaze linger on you. He’d ‘accidentally’ brush his arm against yours or he would touch your thigh, asking you to pass him another can of soda.
It was a lot, but you couldn’t say you hated it.
“It’s getting late” Taehyun says getting up. “We need to prepare for the party tonight”
his statement earned hums, moans, and groans from everyone.
“Whose party?” you asked.
“Johnny. That senior from the photography major” Yeonjun answered, looking at you with a hopeful expression. “You’re coming right?”
You smiled at him, nodding your head. “Wouldn’t miss it.”
“Dude this is a disaster,” you say rummaging through your clothes while you were on Facetime with Mia. “I don’t have anything to wear”
Mia rolled her eyes at you. “You trying to impress someone?” she said stuffing her face with seaweed chips.
You stare at her through the screen “Listen, you little shit. Just because you’re in a happy marriage doesn’t mean you get to be all sarcastic and judgy”
She snorted “Marriage!? Oh please. You’re just trying to impress Yeonjun and that’s fine. Just wear something that covers the least amount of skin, he’ll like it.”
“You’re a menace to society” you state, Mia shrugs at your choice of words and laughs. “But you’re right.” You give in grabbing a strappy lilac mini dress. “Then I guess this is contestant number one”
“Ooh, yes! Love that, wear that.” Mia enthusiastically exclaims giving you a thumbs up.
“Okay, that was a lot easier than I thought this was going to be, I’m gonna finish getting ready. You and Soobin are picking me up, right?”
“Yes, we are. Be ready at 11.”
“Alright, see you, bye”
“Bye.”
You throw your phone on your bed and hold the dress in front of your figure, looking at yourself in the mirror. You sigh, getting a rush of anxiety and butterflies in your stomach as you think of seeing Yeonjun again tonight.
Let’s see where this goes.
Chapter 2
#choi yeonjun#tomorrow by together scenarios#yeonjun scenarios#yeonjun imagine#yeonjun imagines#yeonjun angst#yeonjun fluff#choi soobin#soobin scenarios#soobin fluff#soobin angst#soobin smut#txt imagines#txt imagine#txt scenarios#kpop imagines#kpop scenarios#kpop smut#kpop fluff#kpop angst#choi yeonjun scenarios#choi yeonjun imagines#choi yeonjun imagine#beomgyu scenarios#beomgyu#beomgyu imagines#beomgyu fluff#beomgyu angst#taehyun txt#hueningkai txt
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The Arrival - Ep. 01 - JJ Maybank
Summary: The pogues (and Sarah) decide to get away from the Outer Banks for senior week though Sarah’s suggestion that they spend the vacation with a friend of hers doesn’t sit well with JJ, who just wanted a week away with friends. Though his opinion of the situation may change his expectation that nothing will go according to plan is truer than they could have hoped.
A/N: This is a ‘they’re just regular teens and there was no gold hunt’ AU. This will be a 5 part story.
The S’week Masterlist | Outer Banks Masterlist
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“No.” JJ shook his head, “no, no, absolutely not.”
“Why not?” Sarah asked, looking back at her boyfriend for support. John B quickly looked away, staring out at the marsh in order to avoid the conversation.
“Why not? Because I’m not spending senior week with a bunch of fucking kooks while they prance around like their in some MTV reality show!” JJ stresses, voice raised. He ran a hand through his hair, leaving it stuck up all over the place.
“It might not be so bad,” Kie cut in, regretting it almost immediately when JJ looked over at her, “you said yourself that we’ve done senior week here...let’s do ours somewhere else?”
“Sure. Wherever you want as long as it’s not a trip to kookland.”
“You are so dramatic, oh my god JJ. Last time I checked you weren’t exactly rolling in it. How do you propose we pay for a week down the beach?” Sarah pointed out.
“You got money.”
“You shouldn’t even be going! It’s not like you fucking graduated, this is senior week. For graduating seniors.” Sarah waved her hand to indicate her, John B, Kiara, and Pope.
“Screw you!”
“Guys!” Pope finally intervened, pushing his best friend back, “okay, let’s cool down.”
“Can we please just go to the keys? I’m sick of wasting my time arguing. If we’re going we need to leave tomorrow morning...early.” Sarah said, looking pointedly at JJ.
“Hey, I’m always on time!”
Despite his protests JJ was exactly where he said he’d be on Friday morning at 5:30a. Sitting outside John B’s house, on time and with his bag packed for Florida. He was the first one to arrive, followed by Kiara who’d almost been early if it wasn’t for the half hour argument she’d gotten into with her mom for leaving the week after graduation. As if that wasn’t ritual.
JJ said nothing, unusually quite and still completely pissed that everyone had been so on board with Sarah’s plan to spend Senior Week in Florida with some friend at their grandparents’ vacation home. He wanted a chill holiday, just the four of them (five because John B couldn’t be separated from Sarah) spending every day on the beach. He didn’t want some kook vacation laying around a pool drinking vodka in crystal light and talking about ‘daddy’s credit card’ and whatever dumb shit else they did on their weekends.
With the Twinkie packed to exploding with teenagers and luggage John B took the first leg of the drive south. JJ spent the trip sitting behind the passenger’s seat, rolling blunts in his lap and ignoring his friends excitement for senior week. When Kiara nudged his leg halfway to Florida and he looked over she smiled sympathetically at him.
“It might be a good week.” Kiara tried to sound reassuring, knowing that it was JJ’s idea to go away in the first place and that they had in fact hijacked his plans, “at least the change of scenery will be nice?”
“So far the only good thing about this trip is not being home for a week.” JJ replied, refocusing on his task. He would definitely murder one of them if he didn’t spend the week at least somewhat buzzed. If you asked anyone in the obx they’d tell you that JJ was laid back and chill, a go-with-the-flow, weed smoking, kid who would probably never grow out of his ‘it is what it is’ phase. But that wasn’t JJ at all. Sure, he could hit up a kegger at the drop of a hat but he liked a plan and he liked the plan to consider him as an important factor. Not just another nameless sidekick to John B’s summer. And so far, that’s exactly what this senior week was shaping up to become.
“It’ll be fine dude.” Pope said, voice low so he wouldn’t draw anyone else’s attention in the van.
JJ looked up at him and frowned before nodding. What else could he do but nod and pretend that he agreed with anything that Pope said. They were already halfway to Florida and no one cared about his opinion.
Sometime after that JJ fell asleep, Kiara taking the same case of blunts from his lap and folding everything up into his backpack. By the time Pope pulled the Twinkie into the horseshoe driveway of a house bigger than Tannyhill, JJ had woken up again, rubbing his eyes as he looked out the window.
“This is the shit I was talking about.” He said.
Sarah whipped around, hair flying against her shoulders as she glared at him, “for god sake JJ, can you have a good fucking time? Please.”
John B made a face, pleading with his best friend to chill. All he wanted was a stress free vacation and the fact that Sarah’s friend was willing to let them stay aided his ability to relax. If only it would aid JJ’s.
You were standing outside on the steps when the bus pulled up, engine cutting in the middle of the horseshoe. Kiara recognized you from school and Pope recognised you from running groceries for his dad. Sarah pulled the door open and jumped out, throwing her arms around your shoulders.
“Oh my god, you have no idea how much I missed you.” Sarah said, pulling away, “I’m literally gonna kill everyone, starting with JJ.”
“That makes two of us princess.” JJ remarked, glaring at her as he climbed out of bus.
“Hey,” Kiara called, drawing attention away from JJ and Sarah, “thanks for having us.”
“Trust me I was just happy to tell Scarlett that her and Kelce couldn’t stay here.” You replied, looking over at JJ, “I’d much rather spend my senior week with you guys.”
“Flattered.”
“Hey, you’ve never had to sit around listening to Topper talk about workouts.” You replied, feeling unusually proud of yourself when JJ cracked a smile.
“Oh come on, you can’t just do a bench press without the proper preparation,” JJ joked, imitating Topper’s ‘bro’ dialect.
You laughed and nodded, following him to the trunk to help them unload packs. “Hey Pope, my mom said you got that scholarship you were going for?” You mentioned as you grabbed Sarah’s bag.
“I did yeah,” he smiled, surprised that you knew or remembered anything about it. He definitely considered you better than some of the other kooks on the island but that didn’t make you friends with him. You were just someone he delivered groceries to every once in a while.
Once the bus was unpacked you led the group inside, beginning the tour of the house. You lived on Figure Eight in the Outer Banks and you had a house as nice as or better than the Camerons’ but this house was even nicer than that. Your grandparents had old money and they had used it to retire to the Florida Keys where they really only spent the winter months.
“There are four guest bedrooms, you can divy them up however you want to, I’m this bedroom,” you pointed to the closed door behind you at the end of the hall. “The master is off limits, it’s my grandparents and they’ll murder all of you before JJ even gets the chance if you step foot in their room.” You instructed, looking over to JJ as you spoke. He smiled.
“How’ll they know?” He asked, looking down the hall toward the double doors of the master bedroom. This house could fit four of his inside of it. He shifted his weight as he looked around the hallway, the art on the wall looked like something he would have seen on a field trip to a museum, ugly and old but a clear representation of their wealth.
“There’s a camera in their room.”
“Kinky.”
“Ew, oh my god JJ!” You practically gagged, causing him to laugh as Sarah scrunched up her face at the thought of your grandparents using the camera for anything more than G rated. “Moving on!” You continued through the whole house until you’d looped back around, reminding them again that the beach let out right behind the patio.
Once the tour was over you pulled Sarah away from John B, telling her that you needed to talk to her alone. And truthfully, you did. You hadn’t been lying when you told her that you had turned Kelce and Scarlett away for the week. Kelce had texted you days before Sarah and asked about ‘all of us’ getting together for senior week at your grandparents. You knew what ‘all of us’ meant. Him, Scarlett, Topper, and (despite having graduated two years earlier), Rafe. If Sarah was still hanging out with them she would’ve been there too. That was the senior week Scarlett had always planned for but there wasn’t anything you wanted less in life than spending time with all your least favorite people.
While everyone else unpacked you led Sarah into the kitchen, “so, I told you Kelce had texted me about them doing senior week here?”
“Yeah, but they’re not...”
“No,” you shook your head, “no I told them I had a full house. But they are here.”
“What do you mean here?”
“I mean they rented a place down the street. Like we can see their house from this house. Topper texted me this morning before you guys got here.” You fished your phone out of your pocket and showed Sarah the text that Topper had sent along with the picture of you out on your deck.
“Bit stalkerish.”
“Sarah, not the point.”
“Look, it’s fine,” she replied, trying to play off that maybe she actually believed that it was fine, “they can do their thing and we’ll do ours.”
“Yeah, that would totally be fine. Except your brother is here too.”
Sarah groaned, “fuck.”
“What’s the matter?”
You and Sarah turned to find John B and JJ coming into the kitchen, the latter going straight for the fridge and pulling out one of the beers that you had bought before they came down. You watched as he popped the cap off on the counter and took a long gulp, head tilted back. Sarah smacked your arm to get your attention and both of the boys turned to look at her too.
“Topper told me that he’s here for senior week. Him, Scarlett, Kelce...Rafe.”
“Oh cool...cool, awesome...so, the kook fucking vacation I said I didn’t want.” JJ replied, grip tightening around the beer bottle. Sarah rolled her eyes.
“It’s fine. It’s not like we have to see them.” John B replied, trying to ease his friend’s mood. He didn’t need this argument to flare up again. JJ had only just started to relax and the last thing John B wanted was for him to be in a shitty mood all week.
“Except we always do. It’s fucking like...what’s the word?”
“Kismet?” You asked, pulling yourself up to sit on the counter as Kiara and Pope joined the small gathering.
“What’s kismet?” Kiara asked, shaking her head when John B offered her a beer.
“Topper and” Sarah waved her hand as if to indicate the rest of the group, “them are here.”
“What is kismet?” JJ asked, leaning toward you.
“It means fate or destiny.”
“Yes, that’s exactly what it is. It’s my destiny to have the shittest fucking time imaginable because we all had to agree to Sarah’s kook vacation.”
“What is that, your vocabulary word for the day? I’m sorry that I didn’t envision senior week as us sitting around together in a dumpster motel with a bunch of other pogues trying to pretend that we’re not still in the Outer Banks. How dare I fucking plan an actual good vacation that you, oh that’s right, don’t have to pay for!”
“Guys,” Pope stressed the word as he stepped between Sarah and JJ, “can we please just focus on having a good time?”
“I’d have an awesome time if I was anywhere but here!” JJ shoved passed Pope and headed out the sliding glass doors toward the beach leaving the five of you to stand in the kitchen awkwardly.
“So...” Kiara began, looking around at the group, “so Topper is here?”
“Topper, Kelce, Scarlett-”
“She’s a bitch.” Sarah cut in.
“-and Rafe.”
“Isn’t your brother a little too old to be partying on senior week?” Pope asked, looking toward Sarah. Rafe was at least two years into college by now, there was no way he should’ve been hanging around a bunch of high school kids. “Didn’t he already have a senior week?”
“He’ll probably go on senior week with Wheezie too.” You joked, “anything to party.”
“Honestly.” Sarah agreed. She had a feeling her brother’s intention was for more than just partying. If Kelce had planned to stay with you than it was obvious why Rafe was even coming down in the first place though she wasn’t about to say anything to anyone right now. Kiara, she assumed, knew that you had broken up with Rafe over spring break but she doubted that it was common island knowledge that you had been dating him at all.
Pope suggested that it was a good idea to leave JJ be, that he’d eventually cool down and come inside on his own, especially once he realized that he had no means to get back to North Carolina. He either came in and accepted that this was the vacation they were getting or he camped out on the beach, either way he was stuck in Florida for the week. Still, you couldn’t help feeling guilty that he was having a shitty time. When Sarah had asked if she could stay with you for the week you had stressed whether it was okay with her friends or not.
That guilty feeling was completely, so you said, the reason for heading down the beach to find JJ. “I did ask Sarah if it was cool with you guys...coming down here. I know it’s not exactly what you had in mind.” You offered as you sat beside JJ on the beach. In another hour the sun would be completely gone from the sky, the oranges and pinks in the horizon hinting at the coming night.
“I feel like I should be bitching to a confessional about how much I can’t stand Sarah right now.” He replied.
“I mean, you could try it?” You teased, moving so your back was to the water and you were facing him, “alright JJ, tell us what’s got you so upset and try to include a tragic story from your past.”
JJ cracked a smile, meeting you eyes as he put on his best reality show sob voice, “I’m just like, really pissed at Sarah and it totally reminds me of the summer my turtle died.”
You couldn’t help the burst of laughter as you fell back into the sand. JJ joined in, sour mood getting shelved for another day. He honestly didn’t hate the view or being near a beach, or the incredibly comfortable mattress that he had in the room he had claimed for himself. He was even hesitant to complain about you. Not quite the stuck-up kook that he expected, you’d been welcoming to them since the Twinkie first pulled into your driveway.
“If it’s Top and them you aren’t thrilled about I don’t blame you. I was definitely looking forward to a drama free week and I feel like that might have just become unattainable. But, we’ll avoid them best we can and focus on other stuff.” You said, trying to ease his upset.
“Other stuff like?”
“Other stuff like, I got invited to a party down the beach tonight...if you wanna go?” You asked, “I mean who can be sad when they’re drunk?”
“John B...never let him talk to you when he’s drunk.” JJ replied. He stood up and offered you his hand to grab.
“I’ll keep that in mind.” You said, texting Sarah that you were headed down to a party with JJ.
The party wasn’t far away and groups of people had already gathered despite it still being early in the night. People who had just shifted from lounging on the beach to the beginnings of what would become a party. It was still in the transition between disjointed groups sunbathing and people getting drunk as you and JJ walked up. He was quiet as you walked through people trying to find somewhere to set yourselves up.
You weren’t sure if Sarah would really show up with everyone or if she was so peeved with JJ’s attitude that she’d stay away for the night. You kept an eye out for any sign of Topper or anyone else in his group, hoping to avoid them for as long as possible. Maybe the whole week if you were truly lucky.
Beach parties in the keys were not as good as the boneyard parties you were used to but it would have to do for tonight. A little less chill and relaxed, people seemed to be forcing the good time as opposed to just letting it happen. The chill vibe that you felt like it should’ve had was non-existent but you weren’t entirely sure that wasn’t just you projecting. Maybe everyone else was already having a good time and you were trying too hard already for the sake of the boy trailing behind you. People had coolers sitting around with different seltzers, hard lemonades, seagrams, and locos but not a plain beer in sight. JJ complained about the missing keg and you tried to make up for it by offering him a peach Jack Daniels. You took a can of something called Unicorn Swirl, bypassing other people on the beach to sit up on the lifeguard’s deck.
“This is disgusting, by the way.” JJ mentioned as he took a drink, face screwing up at the overtly sweet taste of the peach. He downed another gulp quickly, trying to trick his brain into not realizing the taste and only getting the alcohol.
“You’ll be hard pressed to find a keg here.”
“So what I’m hearing is, even the parties are shit?”
“Not total shit-” you paused to take a sip of your drink, JJ laughing as you almost spit it out. “Oh my god, that’s disgusting!” You gagged at the after taste, holding the 16oz can out for JJ to take, “try it.”
“You just spit it out and you want me to try it?”
“Just...you have to experience it...I can’t even describe that taste.” You replied, taking the peach from him to wash down the taste. “It doesn’t even have a flavor.”
JJ kicked it back, tilting his head and gulping. The sugary taste of whatever flavor they intended it to be made him gag worse than you had and he leaned all the way forward, spitting most of it back out onto the sand. “Holy shit! That is the worst fucking thing I’ve ever had in my life!” He exclaimed, “it tastes like fucking medicine! Why did you make me drink that?”
“I didn’t make you.” You insisted, taking a sip from his peach.
“You literally held it in my face and told me I ‘had to experience it’. How is that not making me?”
“Yeah but I told you it was gross before you drank it so you already knew that.”
“I can’t believe you brought me to a beach party with nothing to drink.” He replied, taking another, smaller sip from the can and pulling a face as he made himself swallow.
“Why are you still drinking that?”
“Trying to get drunk enough that this whole vacation doesn’t suck.” He shrugged.
“Hey!” You reached over and smacked his arm, “the whole thing doesn’t suck! I’m super cool, what’re you talking about!”
“Except you brought me to this party so...not as cool as you think you are.” He took another sip and gagged again, “god I have to stop drinking this.”
“Come on,” you put your peach down and grabbed the unicorn from his hand to abandon that on the lifeguard stand as well, “I know there’s a distributor around here...lets get some real beer.”
“Sounds good to me, anything but this.” JJ replied, following you away from the crowd of people on the beach.
-
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“Just a normal night”
Inspired by @s-mscott - link for the art, please check it out!
Word count: 2832
Notes: HEY. THIS IS JUST BEEN SITTING ON MY FILES FOR THE LONGEST TIME AND I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT IT DKJFHAKJHAKJDFH.
Anyway, it's a long time coming. The writing probs isn't as neat or as good as the latest uploads bc of that, but... idk. Hopefully it's good! I couldn't bring myself to edit it again, sorry about that. I hope you can enjoy it anyways and please go check out the artist, @s-mscott!
“Guys?” Dick asked, on his tiptoes as he rummaged through every cabinet in the huge kitchen “Hey are we out of cereal? I can’t find my Lucky Charms anywhere.”
“I think so.” Jason answered “I ate the last of the Lucky Charms last night.”
“Yep.” Tim said, popping the ‘p’ as he slid through the countertop, landing a bit behind Dick “I had the last of the frosted flakes two days ago.”
“Froot Loops?” Dick asked.
“I had those.” Duke answered “Sorry.”
“Fruity Pebbles?”
Cass raised her hand, looking at the ground.
“Reese’s Puffs?”
“I finished the box yesterday.” Damian announced, crossing his arms as he leaned against the marble sink.
“Damn.” Dick murmured and pouted as he closed the cabinet’s door “I’ve been craving cereal today.”
“We can always go get some.” Jason shrugged.
“At three in the morning?” Duke asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Actually, four.” Jason corrected, putting up a finger “And yeah, why not? I mean, we had a hard patrol tonight, and if Dick wants some cereal, I say let’s go get some cereal.”
“It’s four in the morning, Todd.” Damian said.
“I mean, the closest Walmart is open 24/7.” Tim interfered.
“You can’t be seriously considering this, Grayson.” Damian frowned at his older brother.
“Why not? I’m not sleepy anyways.” Dick crossed his arms and shrugged.
“Yes!” Jason hissed “Late night adventures with the baby bats. Let’s roll!” He clapped his hands once, and started to walk out of the kitchen, his siblings following him to the garage.
“Oh wait!” Dick said “Let’s ring up Bruce and see if there’s anything else we need.”
“Bold of you to assume he’d know what we need.” Tim interfered.
“Yeah, well, it’s worth a shot. Plus, do any of us really want to wake up Alfred to ask him?” Dick said, taking his communicator out of his pocket and placing it in his ear “B? Have a sec?” He asked
“Nightwing. What’s wrong?” Came the answer, Batman’s raspy voice flowing through the device.
“Oh, nothing’s wrong. We’re going to take a quick trip to the supermarket, I wanted to ask if you need anything.”
“... At four in the morning?”
“Yeah. Do you need anything?”
Bruce sighed.
“We’re running out of the coffee blend that Tim likes. Alfred the cat’s favorite treats have been gone since last week, and Cass’ favorite ice cream is done. Oh, buy Duke that soda he likes, I drank the last can. Also, Jason’s cookies and that brand of chips you like, we ran out of those. Oh, and buy something with Iron in it, I’m worried that Damian might not be getting enough.”
“Like spinach?” Dick said, writing it down on his phone’s notes.
“Yeah, that’ll do. Ah, and we’re a little low on milk.”
“Okay. Will keep that in mind. Thanks B, have a nice patrol.”
“Please don’t give the papers any headlines.”
“You got it, B. Bye.”
He placed the device back on his pocket.
“Okay, there’s a lot of stuff to buy, so let’s get going. I’ll drive.”
“Shotgun!” Jason yelled.
“We’re taking the S.U.V., one of you will need to ride in the trunk.” Dick said.
“I’ll go.” Cass’ eyes twinkled. No one could understand why she was always so fascinated with the idea of riding in the trunk, but she seemed to find it fun and all of them thought that her excitement was cute.
“Alright then.” Dick smiled, ruffling her hair. Her grin grew wider, and Duke set her hair straight again before they got into the car.
“Hey, can I play my music?” Tim asked from the backseat.
“Don’t force us to listen to the atrocity Drake calls music, Grayson.” Damian complained, arms crossed “Let me play something.”
“Uh, I’d rather not listen to Mozart and Bach while we’re in the car.” Duke protested.
“It’s called classic for a reason, Thomas.”
“Doesn’t matter, bat-brat.” Jason said “I’m with him on this one. Besides, universal car rules, shotgun DJ’s.”
“Since when?” Tim asked.
“Since now.” Jason said, plugging his phone in.
“Uh, I don’t think so.” Dick took the cord from him “According to ‘Supernatural’ rules, ‘Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole’. So that’s mine.”
“No one else watches this show Dickhead!” Jason pulled the cord back.
“Doesn’t matter, because I’m older!” Dick pulled it back again.
“Age is just a number!” Tim pushed himself to the front seat and took the cord back.
“Great point Drake!” Damian pulled him back by his waist, stealing the cord from him too.
“Hey, stop with the fuss, I’m gonna crash the car!” Dick said.
“Maybe we should just play Beyoncé...” Duke suggested. The car went silent for a while.
“Okay.” Dick said “Put on ‘Single Ladies’.”
“No. ‘Halo’ is her best.” Damian complained.
“Uhm, no way? I’m playing ‘Drunk in Love’, and that’s it.” Tim shot back.
“Are you crazy? Play ‘Formation’.” Duke interfered.
“I like ‘Run the World’...” Cass said quietly from the trunk.
“Yeah, okay,” Tim murmured “We’ll play that.”
The girl smiled as the first notes from the song filled the car.
There weren’t many cars in the parking lot, which was expected. They picked up two carts, and Dick hopped inside the one Jason was pushing.
“Dude!” Duke started “You’re in your mid-twenties!”
“Leave me alone, I nearly sprained my ankle today.” Dick stuck his tongue out. No one else questioned anything beyond that. The employees simply sighed, used to the two older brothers and their antics.
“Hey Parker.” Jason greeted the nighttime security guard.
“Hey. I see you two brought the whole gang tonight.” He answered.
“Yup.” Dick smiled.
“So this is a regular thing for the two of you?” Duke asked.
“Are you really surprised, Duke?” Tim shot back.
“No. Not really.”
“Okay. First stop, Bruce said we need to get Tim’s coffee.” Dick exclaimed, looking at the list.
Jason led the way, Dick grinning like a child on the cart, Cass quietly following as she pushed their second cart, Duke making friendly conversation with her while Tim and Damian kept bickering right behind them.
“Oh, wait!” Dick held on to the metal bars “We’re right next to the cookies and Bruce said we’re out of your favorites, Jay.” He looked up.
“Alright, a little detour then.” Jason turned them around, quickly grabbing his treats “Anyone wants anything else from this aisle?”
“But... We don’t need anything else from the aisle.” Duke pointed out.
“Um, we have a billionaire’s credit card?” Tim said “Bruce won’t freak out if we buy a few extra things.”
“Uuuh, they have those koala shaped cookies!” Dick hopped out of the cart “How many do I get?”
“I want one.” Cass said.
“Chocolate or strawberries?”
“Uh… I want both.” She answered.
“Okay, one each for the lady, two strawberries for me...”
“I want a chocolate one.” Tim said.
“Me too.” Damian asked.
“Oh, just take twenty boxes, ten of each flavor.” Jason interfered, dumping them on Cass’ cart “We’ll share later.”
“Oh my God, those are expensive!” Duke said, exasperated.
“Yeah. So?” Jason shot back.
“Bruce is a billionaire, bro. He won’t mind.” Dick said, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.
“Yeah, well, it’s easy for you guys to say it. You grew up like that. It’s kinda hard to accept this when you aren’t used to having so much.” Duke answered, scratching his neck.
“Hey, I get that feeling lil’ bro.” Jason tapped his back “I spent my childhood in Gotham’s streets.”
“Yeah. I mean, I grew up in the circus. I wasn’t used to the idea of getting brand new stuff instead of asking for hand-me-downs from our friends whenever I grew out of my clothes.” Dick interfered.
“But... Just think about it like this.” Jason got closer to him “We now can get everything we couldn’t in the past.”
Duke frowned. Jason nodded encouragingly.
“That... Doesn’t help.”
“I tried.” Jason shrugged. Dick hopped back in the cart “To the coffee aisle!” He exclaimed, pushing his brother around.
“Hang on.” Tim said “This is where they leave the energy drinks. Let me take some.”
“Why do you insist on drinking this crap, Drake?” Damian scowled, reading the label in one of the cans “If you have such a death wish, jumping in front of a train is a much cheaper, quicker alternative.”
“Shut up, little devil.” Tim picked up cans from his favorite brand.
“Jason, push me a little farther down the aisle, please.” Dick asked “They keep their iced teas over there.”
“Ugh, Grayson, you disgust me.” Damian rolled his eyes.
“Don’t be so judgemental Lil’ D.” He smiled, being pushed away by Jason.
As they examined the cans, Dick noticed he had attracted the looks of a middle aged man, a couple of steps from them. He was staring at his hoodie, that contained the frase ‘I love dick’ printed on it.
“Oh,” He exclaimed, smiling at the guy “My name is Richard. That’s why it’s funny.” The man nodded “I’m also queer as fuck, so that makes it better.” He added nonchalantly, and the man’s eyes widened “Okay Jay, I picked up all I wanted, let’s go back.”
“Alright you little shits, back to the coffee quest.” Jason said, leading the way once again. This time, they finally made it to the coffee aisle. Tim crouched down, looking for his favorite blend.
Cass got a little curious once she laid eyes on a colorful package on the top shelf. She picked it up and handed it to Dick.
“Read. Please.”
“This is an espresso roast. Here it says that it has notes of strawberry? Vanilla and... Sugar cane. Colombian coffee. Seems nice. Wanna take it?”
“Yes.” She nodded. Dick dropped it on his cart.
Cass wandered away, still looking at all of the coffee blends.
“Hey girlie,” A guy whistled at her, next to his group of friends “Nice ass.”
She squinted at them.
“Yo, asshole!” Tim screamed, getting their attention “That’s our sister!” He threw a bag of coffee beans at the guy’s face, causing his nose to bleed.
“Hey, who do you think you are?” One of them started to walk up to her brothers. Cass could tell that he wanted trouble, so she grabbed his arm and slammed his face against the shelf, so quickly and brutally that it barely budged, leaving the products unbothered, but the guy fell to the floor, disoriented. She stared at him.
“We are Waynes.” Damian answered, pacing towards them quietly, hands on his pockets “I suggest you apologize immediately for the troubles, if you wouldn’t want to get a hefty lawsuit for your harrasment.”
“Uh, sorry bro.” One of them started, a little scared “We didn’t-”
“Not to me.” He interrupted “To her.”
“We’re sorry, miss Wayne.” All of them mumbled.
“Now promise you won’t do it again.” Damian added.
“We won’t do it again.” They started at the floor, next to where their fallen friend laid down.
“Good.” He squinted “Help your friend up, and get out of my sight.”
They did as they were told, helping his friend walk straight again. As Cass headed back, Dick gently touched her arm, looking up at her.
“Hey, are you alright?” She smiled and gave him a thumbs up. He smiled back.
“Does this happen often?” Jason asked.
“Sometimes.” She shrugged “But they always say sorry after I break their nose.”
“Ayy, that’s our girl.” Jason praised “Alright, we got the coffee. Where to next?”
“Let’s see... Next item is Alfred the cat’s treats.” Dick said.
“Ha!” Damian laughed loudly “As if Alfred would eat the... peasant treats that this store offers. No. I’ve already bought the adequate brand from an online shop.”
“Okay...” Dick raised an eyebrow “Then... Cass’ ice cream is next, but I think we should leave that as the last item, so it won’t melt, which leads us to Duke’s soda because Bruce had the last can.”
“Let’s go then. I think that the cereal aisle is on the way, so we’ll get that first.” Jason said, pushing the cart around again.
“Which ones do we get?” Tim asked, looking through the shelf.
“Everything that has sugar.” Dick answered. His brother began handing him boxes, when they heard a small whisper.
“Oh my God, are those...?” A girl said to her friend, attracting the eyes of the siblings. The duo averted their gaze quickly. Cass frowned at them.
“Relax.” Jason smiled, placing an arm on her back “They’re probably just... Fans.”
“Fans?” She asked, still staring suspiciously at them.
“Yeah.” Dick shrugged “I mean, we’re not super stars, but we do hit the papers pretty often. A bunch of people know us here in Gotham.” The girls were looking again, and Dick gave them a small wave, making them giggle “See? Nothing to worry about.”
“Hum.”
“Hey there, ladies.” Jason greeted, a cheeky smile on his face “What brings you to this fine establishment tonight?”
“We ran out of energy drinks.” One of them answered “What about you?”
“Cereal.” Dick answered, lifting two boxes. They giggled again.
“Hey, um... can we maybe get a picture?” The girl asked “It’s just that... no one will believe us when we tell them about this.”
“Absolutely not!” Damian answered.
“Nah, don’t listen to the little brat.” Jason said “Go ahead.”
Dick held up the boxes again, smiling as Jason made a ‘crazy’ motion with his hands. Tim turned around as the photo was being taken, turning him into a blurr with tired eyes.
“Can we get some selfies too?” The other one asked, grinning.
“No!” Damian protested again.
“Of course you can!” Dick said “Duke, Cass, come here.” He called.
All of them gathered around the cart Dick was staying at, even Damian. He didn’t look so pleased as the photo was taken, but neither did Cass.
“Thanks. You guys really are nice.” The first girl said.
“Oh, you have no clue on how nice I can be.” Jason winked, making her blush “Tell you what, why don’t I give you my phone number and you can text me those pictures later, hm?”
“Sure.” The girl bit her lips as Jason scribbled his number on her wrist.
“You are such a flirt.” Dick rolled his eyes as the girls walked away.
“What, like you aren’t?” Jason snorted, pushing him away, looking for where they kept the soda.
“I think Cass didn’t like that interaction very much.” Tim whispered to his older brothers, who turned around to find a frowning baby bat. Jason chuckled.
“What’s wrong, sis?” She scowled at him “Oh, c’mon, don’t get jealous.” He threw an arm around her shoulder “You know you’ll always be our number one girl, but a guy has his needs. And sometimes, a guy needs a date.”
Cass pushed him away, rolling her eyes as Duke placed five soda cans on her cart.
“Why would you even drink this sugar filled monstrosity, Thomas?” Damian asked, reading the labels “Grandfather wouldn’t even feed his prisoners something as revolting as this.”
“Because, Bat-brat,” He said “We’re all entitled to enjoy at least one or two things that may ultimately be responsible for our deaths.”
“I suppose.” He murmured, lifting an eyebrow “You make much finer points than the rest of them. Father has been looking for heirs in the least suitable places, I assume.” He clicked his tongue “It’s a good thing I’m here to help.”
“Okay...” Duke answered, raising his eyebrows and averting his gaze. There was only so much strangeness that he could handle.
“Great, now we need to get my chips and spinach.” Dick stated.
“Spinach?” Tim asked “Why spinach?”
“B thinks Damian may have been needing more iron in his diet.” Dick shrugged.
“Aaw.” Tim said “That’s actually kinda cute. Do you think he ever worries about our diets?”
“Don’t be stupid Tim, of course he doesn’t.” Jason answered.
“He does.” Dick shot back “He worries about us, he just... Really, really, really, reaaaally sucks at showing it sometimes.”
“Potatoe, potatoe.” Jason murmured.
“Yeah, whatever. Keep me moving Little Wing, we have stuff to pick up and my tiredness is catching up to me.” Dick pointed forward.
“Sure. But the chips are in the opposite direction.”
“Well turn me around then, do you want me to look like an idiot?” Dick said, a little exasperated.
“I wish you had an off button sometimes.” Jason sighed as he made his way to the chips section.
An employee, mopping the floor with a bored expression, looked up from what he was doing when he saw the Wayne gang talking loudly. Dick tried to control his brothers from inside the cart, and had just told Jason to separate a fight between Tim and Damian. Duke and Cass snicker as they saw a bored, six feet tall Jason pushing his much smaller brothers apart.
“Yep.” The employee murmured to himself “Billionaires shopping at Walmart at four in the morning. Just a normal night.”
Hey! If you made it this far, please consider reblogging this? It helps with spreading my fics and it makes me very happy, hahahaha!
Regardless, thanks for reading <3
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Favourite Gaming Soundtracks of the 2010s
It’s the end of another decade and what a decade it’s been. So much has changed in “just” 10 years, so many cool things have happened, so many amazing games have been released. Since it’s the end of the year I thought I could talk about some things that are dear to my heart. I love music and with so many dope games came just as amazing soundtracks. So, I just wanna let out my thoughts for my favourites. This is not really ranked, but I’ll tell you which my favs are from my favs.
But first, some “honorable mentions” for soundtracks I really enjoy, even though I’ve never played these games.
- Dark Souls / Bloodborne
Mystic and gritty, but strangely calming from time to time
- Hollow Knight
It came coming on with YT Autoplay and to be honest, I can’t complain. All in all a great soundtrack
- Persona 5
Dude, talk about style. It’s not quite my type of game, but holy fuck, the music is my JAM
- God of War (2018)
I DID play this game and I loved it, but the soundtrack didn’t really stick out to me THAT much. Some tracks are downright bone-chilling and epic, but it didn’t have such a big impact on me all in all.
Anyways, on with my list.
Pokemon Sword and Shield
I’m gonna start with a recent one since it’s still fresh in my mind.
I always liked the Pokemon Soundtracks. Though most of the time simplistic, some tracks just have such iconic melodies. However, from Sinnoh onwards, I started liking single tracks more than the soundtrack as a whole. For example. even though most people say Cynthia has the best Champion theme, I can agree an the melody being amazing, but for me, the theme is so loaded, I don’t like it (best Champion theme is still Lance). Alola, for me, started having an upcurve on the soundtrack. I liked it as a whole, though I can’t really remember what exactly stood out to me.
Now Sword and Shield. Dudes, keep going on that route, your OST is amazing. I’ll be honest, the BEST thing of this game is the soundtrack. All have this kinda sporty/cheery sound and even though, let’s say, the normal battle theme isn’t that of a banger, the number of amazing single themes is just so high. Bede’s theme is basically the only thing I like about him, Marnie’s has such a cool tune (and all the metal covers on YT, BRO) and even if many people don’t like Hop’s theme, I really dig it. Some parts remind me of Mirror B.s theme, I dunno why.
And then you have my fav tracks, Rose’s Final Fantasy theme, Toby’s amazing Battle Tower theme AND THE GYM BATTLE MUSIC. I really didn’t like the gym leader theme at first but while playing the game, after each gym leader, it got me more and more stoked when the battle began.
All in all, Pokemon Sword and Shield has an overall enjoyable soundtrack. Filled with bangers, for me it made the game itself so much better.
Animal Crossing
Though I haven’t played the game in a long time, I still listen to the music.
Animal Crossing is just laid out to be this chill and calming ensemble of melodies. And it works. When I’m stressed or have to work on stuff I don’t want to, I usually just put on Animal Crossing music. It calms me and just gives me this warm and fuzzy feeling. It also helps when I have problems sleeping.
A soundtrack to just lie back, close your eyes and just enjoy life.
Legend of Zelda – Breath of the Wild
Continuing with calm music, let’s talk about my favourite Switch title.
This game often gets flag for “having no music” or too little of it. I know where you’re coming from, but I just think the limited use of the soundtrack makes you appreciate it even more. The moments when the music is used is carefully chosen and that makes it special. Be it the few piano notes that play while the day goes on, the little notification that you’ve entered a new area, the unexpected high energy when you’re fighting (most of all bosses) or the indescribable fear you feel when a Guardian spots you.
There are a few favourite moments I have of the game.
First is the start, when you first leave the cave, run out and this vast landscape opens before you. Just those few piano notes made me all excited for this new adventure. Like dawn is breaking.
The first time I rode on a horse over this wide field and suddenly, the music starts swelling. It was almost magical, the music rising just like my excitement.
The last thing I love is the difference between being in villages and outside. When I noticed that you always have some kind of melody playing when you’re in a settlement it dawned on me how quiet it was outside of them. I love this contrast between being alone in the wilderness with all the quiet and the sudden swell in music when you’re with other people.
This OST amazes me with how much emotion it can convey with often just the smallest amount of notes. An amazing soundtrack for just as an amazing game.
Super Mario Odyssey
So, last Nintendo game on this list, I swear.
This one is a small surprise, but at the same time, it really isn’t. I’ve never really been a fan of the main Mario games, they just aren’t really my thing. (the spin-offs are my jam). However, I’ve always enjoyed Mario’s music. The upbeat tunes really get stuck in your head and the melodies are always so recognizable. Heck, my favourite OST was from Super Mario Sunshine back in the day!
With Odyssey, I really enjoyed both the game and the soundtrack aspect. The worlds are colourful and the gameplay is super fun. Combine that with the stellar soundtrack and the game was such a fun experience, it’s definitely in my top 10.
But what I really enjoyed is the diversity of the track. When you listen to the soundtrack on Youtube and you just click on two different parts of the video, I can guarantee that they’ll probably sound completely different but at the same time somehow coherent. The best tracks, in my opinion, are the upbeat ones for sure. The feeling of excitement and adventure just swells so much it’s amazing.
Then you’ve got “Jump up Superstar”. I fucking love this song. It’s so much fun, has such a great tune which gets stuck in your head and the lyrics are so easy to sing along. All things I love in a song. I actually listened to the song on repeat before I even got the game and I couldn’t wait to get to New Donk City to LIVE the song. And I wasn’t disappointed, it was one if not the best moments in the game.
Great game, great soundtrack, 100% fun.
Bravely Default / Bravely Second
(technically on a Nintendo Console, but whatev)
I’m just gonna lump this two together, since BS’s the sequel.
Now, JRPGs aren’t really my thing. They often take too long for my tastes, I can’t for the life of me concentrate on the story and characters and after some time they just get stale for me.
But now and then, I pick up a series I actually finish and that was Bravely Default and Second.
I think I just have such a huge soft spot for the series cause of the art style/atmosphere and the fact that I played 8 hours straight of BD on a flight from Canada home.
I haven’t played the games in forever but when I think about what I like about them, there are 3 things I always think about: characters, art style and soundtrack.
The songs might sound generic to most, but to me, with my little knowledge of JRPGs, find them quiet unique. It does at some points remind me of Final Fantasy but I think something just makes the tracks just sound like Bravely, though I can’t put my finger on it.
I don’t know the names of the themes, but even now there are just certain tracks which I link to a certain reaction. Like “oh no, not them again” or “Now shit is getting down”. Or every time the main theme plays, I get absolutely pumped.
Haven’t played the games in forever, but the soundtrack’s still in my mind.
Kingdom Hearts
From one RPG to the next, here’s a very special soundtrack. Kingdom Hearts is a franchise near and dear to my heart. It’s one of the first, if not THE first, RPG I ever played. I just get so nostalgic with this game. I can just remember watching my brother playing KH2, seeing two characters from my favourite franchise run around with this spiky haired boy with this stupidly big key. So much stuff happened I didn’t even understand back then, but just seeing these animated characters laugh and cry and go on this grand adventure, little me was mesmerized.
I’ll be honest, I wasn’t too happy with KH3. I’ve waited so long for it, just like hundreds of other people, but the end product just, I dunno, lacked the heart it used to.
One thing however didn’t, the soundtrack. As sad I was to not enjoy the game as a whole as much as I wanted to, the soundtrack became one of my instant favourites. It sounds grandiose and has so much emotion. Each track sounds amazing but the OST really shines in its more calm and beautiful themes and its epic ones.
My favourite songs are the serene ones, however. “Sincerely Beloved” and the other Utada songs are some of my favourite songs ever and I can’t tell you how close I came to crying with the Sea Salt Icecream Trios themes. Heck, I played Xion’s theme back in the day on the piano and I still can play it now.
As much as KH has gone down in heart, the soundtrack stands up there as one of the best, much thanks to Utada Hikaru as well. It will always be important to me and just reminds me of my childhood. Some very fond memories.
Undertale
Well, let’s get outta the nostalgia feel and turn it up a bit!
Ah, Toby Fox, you madlad. Creating such a great game and subverting so many expectations. Undertale really had a big impact on the gaming scene but for me, the soundtrack really lasted. Don’t get me wrong, I still love the characters and story very much, but I still listen to the soundtrack regularly.
Undertale’s OST is comprised of sad, melancholic, upbeat and downright hype tunes. It has a wide spectrum but Toby Fox really does know how to push Leitmotif. All themes kind of flow great into each other but still manage to stand out and are recognizable.
Each character theme fits the character perfectly and I love how their themes usually have some melodies/instruments from the area they’re in. And speaking of areas, as much as I love the character themes I just might prefer the atmosphere tracks even more. I mean, “Snowdin” just sounds like this super laid back, cute little town, “Home” is such a calming song and “It’s raining somewhere else” has such mystique. And, of course, the fact that the tracks have character/plot relevance is just amazing.
Not to mention, Toby Fox created one of the best Meme songs in existence.
Love the game, love the soundtrack even more and I’ll listen to “Death by Glamour” til I die.
Horizon Zero Dawn
I’m so happy I picked up this game. I never bought it cos A, I feel overwhelmed by open world games, and B, it COSTS SO MUCH. But I found it for half the prise and I bought it right before exam week. I know, smart move.
But anyways, the soundtrack. There aren’t any tracks that really stand out to me but I just like it as a whole. It’s such an atmospheric OST and when listening to it as BG music you just HEAR where you are, which tribe you’re in, what you probably did in the game when it played.
And that’s actually a big factor. All in all, I don’t think it’s such a special OST. It sounds great, most tracks are solid, but what really makes it shine is how much it enhances the experience of the game. The gameplay and story are great, but the OST just makes everything so much better, with setting the tone and atmosphere and all that.
I could go on and on about this game, but the soundtrack can be shaved down to a few words. Solid, great and atmospheric.
Monster Hunter World / Iceborne
So, I’ll drop this to second to last because I already made a super long analysis of the soundtrack. I’ll link it here.
https://anime-grimmy.tumblr.com/post/188601659768/some-monster-hunter-ramblings-possible-spoilers
But to put it simply, this is probably my favourite soundtrack at the moment. I just haven’t experienced so many emotions while listening to an OST since a certain game that’s next on the list. I still can’t listen to “Succession of Light” without almost crying (who am I kidding, I cry every time). I dunno why, but so many tracks make me feel such a barrage of emotions, be it excitement for adventure, hype for the hunt or just simply a childlike wonder.
Simply a great soundtrack that will be on top for a long time.
Okami
Technically a game from 2006, but the PS4 version came out like 2017 and I REALLY WANNA TALK ABOUT THIS GAME.
This is my absolute favourite game of all time. Since I played it first when I was about 9 years old, I just really loved this game. I replayed it more times than I can count and dude, I speedrun this game in record time.
For people who don’t know this game, you play as the Sun God Amaterasu, who has been summoned in the body of a white wolf. You job is to banish the evil from Nippon.
To say this game awakened my fondness of Japanese culture is, well, spot on. I’ve played this game before I even knew what anime was. The atmosphere, style, themes and mostly the music mesmerized me. It was all so, well, foreign. Even nowadays it stands out from anything else I’ve played.
But on to the OST. Next to it being just amazing in general, it just is so Japanese and that’s what has always stuck out to me. I grew up with very traditional and classical music, back then I didn’t even listen to English/American music. So to hear these melodies and instruments that just sound so unfamiliar was very intriguing. And that just topped of the already amazing tracks. Okami does a great job of having super epic, exciting but also sombre and atmospheric music. It’s also very animated and comedic with it’s use of music. So, the mix of foreign sounds and great timing of amazing tracks just makes the experience all so much more memorable.
Even after 10+ years, Okami never gets boring and no matter how much I play it, the moment I face a boss and the epic music swells, or the moment a calm scene passes and the melody slows, my heart fills with emotion and I’m so glad I played it again.
Well, that’s that! I know it probably often sounds kind of sappy, but music is very special and important to me. If music doesn’t evoke emotions in me, I don’t care about it, even if it sounds great. For me it’s important that, when I listen to a soundtrack, I can remember the game or the scene it played in and the emotions I felt in that moment.
Soundtracks are supposed to make a emotional connection between you and the game and that’s why they are essential. At least that’s how I see it.
Anyways, if you made it this far, I bow my head to you. Thanks for reading and I hope you could somehow share my perspective of these games’ soundtrack. Feel free to tell me about your fav tracks!
It’s been a nice decade, enjoy the rest of 2019!
#favourite gaming soundtracks#2010s#pokemon#pokemon sword and shield#animal crossing#legend of zelda#mario oddesy#bravely default#undertale#kingdom hearts#monster hunter world#monster hunter iceborne#okami#horizon zero dawn#rambling
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the definitive ranking of pulp! the classics covers and summaries, from worst to best
(Note: Pride and Prejudice was not included in this list, as there were only poster and greeting card options for the work, and not an actual book or summary. Had a book and summary been provided, it would have ranked lowest for unoriginality. It’s literally just 1995 Colin Firth staring moodily at you. The caption is “Lock Up Your Daughters...Darcy’s in Town!” which is just unfortunate, frankly, and honestly laughable.)
16. Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
You take a novel that’s positively overflowing with drama and give it THIS cover? THIS summary? Absolutely uninspired.
Here’s looking at you Cathy...
Childhood sweethearts turned star-crossed lovers, fuelled by bitter jealousy and dark revenge. She’s pretty and posh, he’s a moody brooding bastard. Heartbreak, alcoholism and plenty of illegitimate kids – it’s a perfect Northern drama.
Where is the feeling? The screaming violins playing as we read? The moors? The time skips? A hint of the positively bonkers plot that only a Bronte could compose?
15. The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
Oh, the heterosexuality of it all. On an Oscar Wilde novel, no less.
Hey girl...I’d sell my soul for you!”
Dorian Gray might be as pretty as a picture, but he's paid a devilishly high price for it. He'll stay drop-dead gorgeous, but there's something nasty festering in the attic...
Pretty as a picture and still lusting after ladies? Please. Pulp! Classics, you can do better.
14. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Again, we must speak the ancient chant: Oh, the heterosexuality of it all.
When it came to loving...He knew which Daisy to pick!
Sorry old sport, but Gatsby has a bigger house than you, prettier friends than you and a Rolls Royce to cart them all round in. To a backdrop of popping champagne corks and orchestral jazz, our hero bids to buyout his old adversary, perennial jock, Tom Buchanan and reclaim Daisy, his favourite bit of High Society totty.
Nick Carraway gets not one mention, which is odd given that he’s the narrator, the protagonist, and Gatsby’s most ardent love interest. Also strange is the cover’s insistence that Jordan Baker, known lesbian, would swoon over Gatsby. Doubly strange is how tiny the women are in comparison to Gatsby’s massive frame. What is, again, bamboozling, is how the slogan on the cover seems to imply that Gatsby knows how to pick a woman. He doesn’t know how to choose anyone, let alone love them. All Gatsby truly knows is the desperate pursuit of a fruitless dream.
13. Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare
Romeo looks like he could be Juliet’s father. Juliet looks like an Upper East Side Widow, not at all like the tween girl she really is.
Too wild to live...too young to die!
Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou…. Oh wait, he’s hanging around in the garden again. Will young Romeo and his Juliet ever be able to express their raging hormones? Or will their feuding families make this romance blossom into a poisoned flower? Either way, both their houses are totally plagued!
“Wherefore” means “why,” not “where,” though I do have to award points to the summary for placing the blame squarely on the feud and not on these doomed young lovers. Though again, young isn’t the operative word I’d use to describe this version of Romeo and Juliet.
12. Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe
This is what one would expect upon seeing a pulp cover of a classic novel. Not much originality or flair is present, but at least some sense of the story is conveyed.
Solitude was driving him nuts!
Cannibals! Captives! Coconuts!
One man’s love of the sea leaves him stranded on a desert island with nothing but a few goats, a bible and a parrot for company.
Will he ever escape? Will his new pal Friday learn to efficiently press a goatskin jerkin? Or will solitude send him totally barmy?
WILL Friday learn to efficiently press a goatskin jerkin? One must read to find out, I suppose...
11. Tess of the D'urbervilles
Marilyn Monroe?????
She’s...no angel.
The original Wessex girl!
Tess is just a humble milkmaid when the local landowner has his wicked way. Her new beau, the smarmy Angel Clare, is none too pleased when he finds out she’s already been deflowered. What is a girl to do? Bloody revenge of course, and an ending to touch the hardest of hearts.
At least the summary blames the terrible men in Tess’s life rather than Tess herself, unlike the tagline on the cover. And while Marilyn Monroe seductively lounging about with a drink doesn’t recall the faintest essence of Hardy’s novel, one would like to imagine Tess relaxing in whatever clothes she pleased, a straw dangling out of her drink, a smile on her face as she answers to no one and spends her quiet evening in solitude.
10. Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K. Jerome
An innocuous cover; the men’s faces hint at the comedic nature of this novel, and yet...something nags the brain upon looking at this.
To say nothing of the dog...
Incompetence, embarrassment and general disaster - no it’s not PMQs, it’s a trip down the Thames! Three hapless fellows and a world weary dog decide they need a holiday from their exhausting hypochondria. Hilarious mayhem ensues.
To say nothing of the dog indeed: Why does the dog on the cover have a human face?
9. The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka
All one can say upon viewing this cover is: Jeff Goldblum, is that you?
Change really BUGGED him!
Poor old Gregor. One day he's depressed about his dreary travelling salesman gig, the next, he's roaching around the apartment and disgusting his family. All that's left is creeping the walls and eating garbage. How's his sis ever going to find a sugar daddy with her grotty bro in tow?
Gregor isn’t grotty, he’s our six-legged hero in this tragic tale.
And yet in the end, the question that haunts us all echoes in our minds in an unceasing echo: is that Jeff Goldblum?
8. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland
Alice as a hippie is eye-catching, but not particularly creative.
This cupcake was off her head!
What HAS happened to little Alice? Taking 'shrooms, hanging out with hookah smoking ne'er-do-wells and being dragged to court. That's gonna be one hell of a hangover!
As much as I’m intrigued by Alice wearing heart-shaped sunglasses and a peace sign necklace, the summary and the cover consist of one joke and one joke only.
7. The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
I just like how Dr. Jekyll in this cover looks equally as fucked up as Mr. Hyde.
No more Mr. Nice Guy...
There’s a sinister man about London town with something of the night about him. Mr Hyde is mad, bad and has a penchant for bumping off MPs and other kindly innocents. Will his friend Dr Jekyll be able to stop him? Or is there something more to their relationship than meets the eye…? Only the intrepid Utterson can get to the bottom of this mystery, but what will he find in Dr Jekyll’s lab?
Points to this summary for including Mr. Utterson, and for insinuating that Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde may be clandestine lovers.
6. A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
Ladies, gentlemen, and otherwise, don’t we love it when a greedy rich man gets bludgeoned by a mace into being more generous and kindly towards others?
This cat was a drag....’til a midnight wake-up call...
Christmas?! What a load of Humbug. Mistletoe and Wine just don't do it for Scrooge; he's a workaholic miser with an attitude problem. If he doesn't change his ways, he'll end up with no friends and Tiny Tim won't last the year. Let's hope some spooky night-time visitors can put the jingle back in his bells!
Ring-a-ling-a-ling, Mr. Scrooge. The mace is raised and the bells are ringing.
5. Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad
The tag-line made me, as the youths say, laugh out loud.
Whoops! Apocalypse....
The horror! The horror!
Kurtz might be the apple of every brutish imperialist’s eye, but his God complex is getting wildly out of hand in the depths of the jungle. What on earth will Marlow find when he finally gets downriver? Devil worship? Savages? Heads on sticks? Or just another nutty white man with his knickers in a twist?
Surprisingly anti-racist summary made this jump to the higher echelons of this esteemed list, though of course that doesn’t excuse this novel’s abhorrent and embarrassing fake-deep racism. It also must be noted that the tag-line should have been “Whoops! White supremacy!” and the text of the novel should have entirely consisted of Chinua Achebe’s essay on the work.
4. The Hounds of Baskerville by Arthur Conan Doyle
The cover alone is a winner. A rabid chihuahua out for blood? Inspired.
Murder...Mystery...Walkies!
A desolate moor, a diabolical dog in need of a muzzle and some inbred locals; Sherlock Holmes is really up against it. With the help of his trusty sidekick Dr. Watson, Holmes pieces together a mystery that has captured the imagination of readers across the decades. All whilst practising a serious coffee and cocaine habit.
The tag-line is fun and catchy, but sadly this summary must be admonished for insisting that Dr. Watson is merely a “trusty sidekick” to Sherlock Holmes. Heterosexuality strikes again, reducing the impact of the striking cover design.
3. Dubliners by James Joyce
Finally! Some style, some panache, some flair to accompany these short stories about being sad and horny in Ireland.
Stuck in the Liffey with you...
Booze, Sex and Hot Floury Potatoes… Those Dubliners are at it again!
Liars, thieves, whores and priests… James Joyce sure knew how to throw a party! This relentlessly downbeat collection explores the very worst aspects of human nature, and doesn’t leave out the juicy bits. It might not be in the best possible taste, but who doesn’t want to get down and dirty in Dublin?
The summary and cover work in tandem to wholeheartedly convince me that Dubliners is an action-packed, slick collection of stories detailing the wild escapades of a motley cast of ragamuffins, and I gotta hand it to the folks over at Pulp! Classics for injecting some bonafide vintage cool into Joyce’s work.
2. Othello by William Shakespeare
I have so many thoughts on this. Mr. T. as Othello is fascinating, as is the tagline, “Some kind of Bard...aaaaasss.” Is this a commentary on blaxploitation media? One can’t help but recall Mr. T.’s reasoning behind his mohawk, his gold chains, to honor his ancestors and assert his living, unshakable humanity in a racist society. Is this is a genuine effort on the part of Pulp! Classics to imply that a blaxploitation-influenced adaptation of Othello could reveal deeper truths to the play that we have had yet to glimpse?
Some kind of Bard... aaaasss
He’s a bardass brother with the love of a fine woman. That is until some cloven hoofed honky starts talking crazy about variously hued sheep tupping the hell outta each other! You gotta pity the fool who gets shafted by the green eyed monster. Let’s hope Othello can work out who to trust before it’s too late…
The fast-paced alliterative language of the summary harkens to Shakespeare’s own wit-fueled dialogue and penchant for creative language. The summary also calls Iago a devil, which is apt, and implicitly criticizes his racism, hinting at the play’s greater tragedies to come. The cover and summary also work in tandem to emphasize Othello’s jealousy and destruction: the “green-eyed monster” is mentioned, and the cover itself is a putrid green. An excellent example of what a vintage cover and summary can achieve.
1. Frankenstein by Mary Shelly
You all knew this was coming.
This kid was born on the wrong side of the lab...
Frankenstein’s monster is on the rampage; terrorising the locals, unleashing murderous hell… and reading novels in his spare time. Can his petrified creator stop this reign of horror before his girlfriend gets the chop?
A James Dean-inspired creature, thereby making them a queer icon? Masterful. The creature being “born on the wrong side of the lab?” A stroke of genius; that they’re called a kid puts the poignancy of the monster’s plight into even greater relief, while simultaneously emphasizing their tragic charm. The clear distinction between Frankenstein and the creature? Reader, I exhaled in a cathartic release of tension. The loving detail that the creature reads novels in their spare time, like any other leather-jacket wearing, motorcycle-riding ruffian with a heart of gold? Beautiful.
Truly, the obvious queer energy of this cover and summary highlights an overlooked dimension of Shelly’s great work while also paying homage to what draws us to this Modern Prometheus time after time. Do we care about the petrified creator in this summary? Not at all. He’s not on the cover, appearing both rebellious and gentle. We are here for the creature, in their leather jacket, on their motorcycle, novel sticking out of a back pocket on their jeans, ready to whisk us away to a place where even monsters like us can find solace, and be at peace, and commune with each other. We need only take their outstretched hand, and be willing to leave the mundane world for something better, for the chance to no longer be alone.
#books#art#classic works#i'm going to purchase a copy of that frankenstein cover and no one will stop me
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Sabo X Female Reader (Admiration)
"Seriously, if you like the guy, just tell him already! It's already just annoying by the way you look at him all lovey-dovey!" (Bf/n) exclaimed, clearly being fed up with my bullshit.
"Oh shut up. It's fine as is just admiring him being happy. Besides, why would he even like this dumb potato? If he's happy, I'm happy. Also, doesn't the saying go like happy guifu, happy lifu?" I retorted with a slight nonchalant tone.
"....................... NO YOU IDIOT, IT'S HAPPY WIFE, HAPPY LIFE. YOU WEREN'T EVEN CORRECT!!!" (Bf/n) shouted, just barely enough to draw attention while I just rolled my eyes. "Also," he continued, shoving food in his mouth. "You may be a dumb potato, but you are also the nicest and prettiest potato out there. Besides, do you even realize that Sabo actually looks at you sometimes?" (Bf/n) might be an idiot a majority of the time, but at least it's in that nice type of way.
I sighed. "Look, just because I "stare" at Sabo, doesn't mean that I like him. Besides, I stare at Kid sometimes, and that's cause I think about how much I hate him and how stupid he is."
"Oh is that so?"
I turned around at the sudden voice to see a certain tulip haired man, who just happens to be on a period 24/7.
"Oh hello, EustASS Fucking Kid." I greeted as I heard a few snickers from those who were brave enough. The really sad thing was however, no one realized that we were somehow siblings, even thOUGH WE HAD THE SAME MOTHERFUCKING LAST NAME. LIKE SERIOUSLY, HOW STUPID CAN THE HUMAN POPULATION GET!?!??
With that in mind little(?) readers, this meant that (Bf/n) was unaware of my relation with the edgy tulip. Therefore, he nearly shit his pants. It was sorta a funny sight though.
But oh no, it didn't just end there. Everyone within a hearing distance literally stopped what they were doing to look at the unknown sibling drama. Which also included Sabo, so fuck my life now. Since I was classified as a "shy" kid- even though the only kid here is a tulip- it looked like quite a shock for me to stand up the the idio- sorry, I meant bully. I could even hear (Bf/n) mutter "Don't do it you idiot. Don't provoke him."
But did I listen? I mean, why the fuck would I? So I continued as he did.
"Hello (dumb insulting name). I see you're being shitty as usual." CUE THE CONFUSED PEOPLE. Why? Because no one knows why he called me that. Though there is a story behind it... Which is embarrassing...
"I see you're being an ass like usual. Say, how is your arm? I do wonder what happened to it..." I talked back with a hint of sarcasm. Truth is, in one of our daily fights at home, I ended up breaking his arm, so now it was in a cast. Not my fault he insulted Sabo and was an asshole like usual though.
"Oh piss off." He spoke, before flipping me off and walking away. While he did that, I stuck my tongue at him. ;P
And my god, every one looked so confused, it was beautiful. And then there's Law, looking proud of me for slightly crushing Kid's pride. He didn't show it, but it was there.
I finally turned myself back to (Bf/n), only to be bombarded with questions.
~~~
After the event at lunch, apparently my reputation increased a bit for standing up to the idiot jerk. Why is this important? I'm actually, not sure.
Anyways, a few days have passed since then, and today on Friday, I, Eustass (Y/n), had received a note, letter, love letter? Whichever it is.
When school ended, I went home while Kid (a/n I wanted to write aniki for some reason XD) went out with his friends, leaving me alone with the note while not worrying about getting teased. It was a simple light blue paper folded into thirds, with a piece of tape holding it together. That's literally, just it. I peeled off the tape, and read.
Dear E. (Y/n),
I have already fallen for you for a while now, and the event on (insert date) a while back may have made me fall deeper than I thought I could have already.
Anyways, I'd like it if you could go out and join me at the Baratie for lunch at 11:30 am. Lunch will be on me, and I can't wait to see whether or not you come, but I hope you do.
Yours Truly,
S.
Hooooooooly cheese and macaroni, Did I just get asked out on a date???? The handwriting was nice though. But ohhhh lordie, my face is probably as red as big bro's hair, I don't know what to do. Look, I ain't good with affection or shit related to that. But do I go? What would I wear? What if it goes south? What if it's a prank? Or worse, it's not a prank? And who the hell is S???
Ohhhh boi, since I was never good with this kind of stuff to begin with, I texted (Bf/n), and you know what he replied with?
"Eh / Just go / U never kno wut might happen"
"Just go" He fricking says. Just. Go.
Like, does the fucker not know how I can't deal with this shit that fucking easily???
And just like that I lost all of tonight's sleep, just deciding to screw myself over and go. I may be Kid's sister, but I'm not that mean... I think.
When I woke up, I sneaked into Kid's room, to see the fucker snoring hella loud. I grabbed that thing used to match your skin, think it was called foundation? To cover any eyebags and what not, and sneaked back out. It was tempting to kick him though, but I didn't want him to question me.
I went back to my room and grabbed a black tank top with a plain (f/c) jacket, with white cuffs of the sleeves. I also wore (a) (shade of blue) blue jeans that went a bit below my knees, being slightly ripped. As for shoes, I just wore some black boots with a (f/c) streak somewhere. (Sorry im bad at explaining clothes)
I then left at 11:15 because I wanted to be there 10 minutes early and it took 5 minutes to get there by foot.
I grabbed my earphones and phone from my pocket to play some music on my way there and hummed to the tune while waiting.
About 8 minutes passed when I got there I think, when I finally heard a familiar voice.
"Sorry if I'm late. My brothers wanted food so I had to make them some." I turned around to the source of the voice and my face immediately reddened. Because wHO THE FUCK KNEW THAT IT WAS GONNA BE MY CRUSH THAT I DENIED TOWARDS (BF/N)!?!?!??
Sabo was wearing a simple white button up shirt and some brown jean looking pants, and yet he still, looks great. But I had to speak otherwise, I might just be rude, or weird, or both.
"I-it's fine. You're not late, i-its just that I was here earlier."
GODDAMMIT WHY DID I STUTTER???? KILL MEEEEEEEEE.
"That's good, sorry to keep you waiting then? Anyways, let's go inside. Ladies first." The somehow calm fuck said as he opened the door with a fucking wink that just melted me. But you know what I did? I just chuckled at the silly gesture but really, I have no fucking idea what to do.
Like excepted, we sat at a table, ordered our food, and talked. Surprisingly, it actually wasn't that hard to talk to him. I mean it still sorta is cause I like him and I don't wanna screw up my chances, but, it was nice.
After we finished, we went to the park, and you probably guessed, more talking and idle chat. Mainly Sabo poking fun at his brothers.
"And then there was this one time where went to the beach, a-and we were in a boat and then we heard this noise." Sabo started again with another story in mind, sounding like he was trying so hard not to just fall to the ground and laugh. "At first, Marco looked like he didn't care, and he was chill. When all of a sudden he just screamed like a girl right when a seal came up behind him, and he just clung to Thatch like a scared child!" And he lost it. He just started to break into laughter, and loose his shit. Can't blame him though, as I joined in on his laughter. (Itotallydidn'tputareferencetooneofKiraReno'sstoriesjustnow)(congrats if you could read that)
Because just imagine. Your super calm and serious seeming art teacher, looking like he isn't scared easily, screaming like a small girl AND CLINGING to his brother, just because he's scared! And then I lost it too.
He then shared some more stories as he walked me back home after a while. Though sadly but obviously, he didn't share any funny stories about himself. It was pretty quiet when we got in front of my house, which made me suspicious of what Kid was doing, but I shrugged it off.
"Well, I'll be going now. Here's my number so you can text me!" He spoke with a precious smile.
And then kissed my fucking forehead.
I turned red, obviously not expecting it, when out of fucking no where-
"OI!!! KEEP YOUR HANDS, OFF OF MY SISTER!!!!"
And who else would it be other than Eustass. Fucking. Kid.
"S-sister?!" Sabo was surprised, but who came blame him? Would you really expect one of the top bullies of the school to just come out of fucking no where and just defend somehow his little sister? Because people would usually say I'm an angel, which, clearly they haven't met me.
Sick and tired of Kid's usual and daily bullshit, i took off my boot, and threw it at Kid's face. Thankfully, the window was open.
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rod + hero for the mc thing uwu
INTERESTING mix time to display what could have been and leak the ending of letterman verse let’s GO
rod mc: coretta cruz
how tall are they?
coretta is 5′5″! she’s pretty short, especially compared to the rest of the mercy park crew
how do they tend to dress?
blue langston sweater & jeans every day jk except not really. she has a really comfy kind of art heaux aesthetic? she loves vibrant coloured turtleneck and interesting scarfs and big overcoats and flare-leg pants in interesting colours or patterns. if you’ve ever been to a city that was a ‘hipster’ city she dresses like how those people dress now. yeah. also she wears glasses you will not take that headcanon from me.
do they like how they look?
yes! in highschool she was very shy about her appearance and pretty easy to make insecure, but since the whole thing with the mercy park crew and getting to college she’s become a lot more sure of herself and has really settled into her aesthetic.
are they an only child or do they have any siblings?
as established by rod canon she’s an only child, but in my personal canon her dad adopts logan and they really do have a sibling-esque dynamic
are they a morning person or night owl?
morning person ahskshs. her friends all rip into her for being like “well goodnight :-)” at 9:30 pm on the dot after having been poring over her biology textbooks for two hours with six different coloured highlighters and organized sticky tabs only to get up at 5 am the next morning to be able to watch the local news station’s breakfast broadcast
are they a cat person or a dog person?
cat person! she loves cats and she likes small dogs but she has a bit of a fear of larger dogs, and although she’s not terrified of them, her nervousness around them prevents her from loving them as much as cats.
got any favourite foods?
THE CORETTA SPECIAL OFC!!!! she loves anything with bacon in it, and she and her dad used to have ‘bacon wednesdays’ where they would try to cook a new dish with bacon in it every week. she also loves apple and rhubarb crumble, and she and her dad like to bake it together because it reminds them both of baking it with her mum before she passed on.
how about favourite drinks?
she loves tea! iced tea, hot tea, milk tea, whatever! if it’s tea based, she’ll drink it, and she also loves a good berry smoothie!
what are their favourite movies/tv shows?
coretta really likes romcoms! mona rolls her eyes at having to watch them, but coretta is a huge romantic and she loves that kind of stuff! she’s also a big fan of animated movies and has an interest in foreign films as well! she tries to go to as many film festivals at langston as she can!
do they have any hidden talents?
she has a really good memory! she can remember weird little facts that someone told her years ago that just stuck with her ahsksh.
do they believe in love at first sight?
yes! she’s a romantic and the world kinda sucks so she likes to believe in sweet, positive things like that. she doesn’t personally think she’s ever experienced that, but she also doesn’t feel like she’s missing out in that regard! even if it doesn’t happen to her, it’s nice to believe there’s something like that out there.
who is their love interest?
mona! i said fuck canon lives and basically everything is the same instead of mona getting shot it was logan & instead of dad being reluctant to help he was on board so with fbi questioning he says that he got coretta and the mpc crew to work as his informants in secret because he suspected jason was corrupt, because they’re just kids! anyway it all works out okay and mona comes with coretta to langston where both she & logan are doing bridging courses at a community college to finish high school while working part-time, and she and coretta are very happy together!
what are they afraid of?
she’s minorly afraid of large dogs, and she’s not really a huge fan of loud noises, especially not after the showdown with the brotherhood.
what are their guilty pleasures?
expensive berry smoothies... the healthy “organic” ones.... yeah.... and logan’s a filthy enabler so they’ll be in the supermarket and she’ll be like “oh i don’t NEED one” and logan is like “well... what if.... and just hear me out here pip.... but what if.... we got two”
what was their dream job as a kid? is it still their dream?
she wanted to be a zookeeper! now her dream is to be a zoo vet and so she’s studying veterinary science at langston to be getting on that! i actually don’t know how american colleges work but i know they are cracked but that’s her goal and her ambition and she’s on to it!
have they ever broken a bone?
nope! miraculously she didn’t even break anything when she wrecked her car to face the brotherhood!
have they ever been in trouble with the law?
w. well. yes and no... for a bit she was, but after her dad testified to say the mercy park crew helped out, they were pardoned and so she technically hasn’t been charged with anything, although obviously ride or die kind of hinges on the fact that she has been ahslshsjs
+ three other random facts about them!
because she’s so much shorter than the mpc, logan gave her the nickname “pip” which is short for pipsqueak. she had a crush on ingrid for most of high school, and she and ingrid have talked about this in college and had a good laugh about the fact that ingrid liked her back and they just never knew it. aaand finally she’s learning how to ride a motorbike! colt transferred to langston and he’s been teaching her!
hero mc: ronan bishop
how tall are they?
ronan is 6′1″! tall boy!
how do they tend to dress?
uhhh kind of a hybrid of casual and formal i guess? he has a lot of button up shirts, but whether he’s wearing them for work or personal purposes depends on whether he adds a sweater or a jacket over top! he likes a very clean aesthetic and he’s very neat in his style of dress (kenji likes to make fun of him by calling him a prep ahsjs)
do they like how they look?
yes! he’s quiet and a bit shy, but poppy is an amazing hype woman who really boosts his confidence a lot because if he ever feels insecure he can just message her a selfie and she’ll gas him up until he’s achieved god-like status of self-confidence
are they an only child or do they have any siblings?
only child! his mother fostered some kids in his late teenage years, and still does, and he still keeps in touch with a few of them who were either adopted permanently or outgrew the foster care system!
are they a morning person or night owl?
a night owl! he fights the good fight getting up in time for work, but not without a large amount of coffee and a lot of mournful stares back toward his bed.
are they a cat person or a dog person?
cat person! he likes dogs, but he prefers the more calming energy of cats! you just didn’t see her in hero but he has a pet cat named apple ! she’s a very small light ginger cat and he adores her! kenji and poppy have been taking care of her while he’s in the prism dimension. dax isn’t allowed to because he spoils her and overfeeds her ahsksh.
got any favourite foods?
BIG fan of soup. he made a lot of soup when he first started living on his own because he was working long hours at prescott industries and it was easy to refrigerate and then reheat with some toast and it was nice and warm and reminded him of home! he cooks more now that he has a more solid job and he doesn’t have to work ungodly hours, but he still loves soup.
how about favourite drinks?
coffee is his best friend! he drinks a lot of black coffee, but every now and again he’ll treat himself to a flavoured latte when at brunch with one of his friends. his favourite flavour is caramel lattes!
what are their favourite movies/tv shows?
ronan doesn’t really watch a lot of tv or movies. he didn’t have a tv in his apartment for a while, and he reads books a lot more, but since he finally caved and got netflix, he’s a big fan of documentaries, both tv shows and movies! he’s really interested in them ahskshs.
do they have any hidden talents?
being a superhero i guess ahslshsks! aside from that not really? he’s a really speedy typer but that’s not a hidden talent because it baffles grayson whenever he sees him typing at his computer he’s like “that’s abnormal. how r u doing that” and he doesn’t know. he just does it. he’s at 120wpm and climbing bro.
do they believe in love at first sight?
he’d like to believe in that! he’s definitely felt lust at first sight before, but he thinks it’s sweet to believe in having an instant connection, even if he’s not quite sure one could immediately translate that connection to love.
who is their love interest?
kenji! ronan had a BIG crush on grayson for a lot of their college years but he kind of figured it was unrequited, and kenji being so openly into him and so vastly different from him in terms of mannerisms just really intrigued him! they’re kind of an opposites attract couple, but they really care about each other and ronan was really surprised that he did end up loving kenji the way he does, but he wouldn’t change it for the world.
what are they afraid of?
never being able to get back from the prism dimension for one! he’s afraid of hurting his friends with his powers and also he HATES mice. he’s TERRIFIED of them.
what are their guilty pleasures?
sometimes he splurges on expensive underwear that he doesn’t need but he thinks they make him look hot but then he never has the courage to wear them ahskshs. kenji found his stash once and made him do a full modelling show so he’s gotten better with them a bit now but most of the time they stay in his drawer never to see the light of day.
what was their dream job as a kid? is it still their dream?
he wanted to be a cowboy, but he spent a summer in highschool helping out on a cattle ranch and decided that the life just wasn’t for him, mostly because he’s actually really bad at riding horses and struggled to get the hang of it. now his dream is to get into environmentalism, and he feels like he’s helping through working with grayson!
have they ever broken a bone?
he broke his arm in middle school but aside from that nope! no breakages.
have they ever been in trouble with the law?
aside from his brushes with authority while in his superhero persona... not really. he and grayson did almost get caught for underage drinking once at a frat party in college, but they jumped the fence into the neighbour’s yard and pretended to be watching the party get shut down instead
+ three other random facts about them!
ronan can play the piano! he has a sweet tooth and loves this little artisan bakery just down the road from his apartment block (their carrot cake specifically is to die for) andddd he’s a really strong swimmer! he was on the swim team for highschool and a lot of college!
ask me about my choices mcs!
#ty for the ask! sorry i didn't get this up sooner#sol.txt#answered#anon#mc: ronan bishop#mc: coretta cruz#ride or die#rod#hero#long post#Anonymous
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HS Epi: Meat, p8 reaction
It doesn't FEEL like it could already be time for the Masterpiece, but then, what else is there?
Until now we've been switching back and forth between Earth C & John.
Unless we now go see what post-retcon Terezi has been up to, I guess it might be time to witness the penultimate moment of Caliborn's ascension to Lord English, the last moment being when LE hatches from Doc Scratch.
---
"> JOHN: Zap to your final destination.
Where the hell are you?
DAVE: where the hell are we
DAVE: i cant see shit"
Welp it's time for this?? ... Unless John misfired and they're in the Furthest Ring, I'd think that they'd find Caliborn in his station on LOCAM.
... I don't suppose there's going to be an actual stage like in the Vine videos. :P If that were so, it appears someone killed the lights, though.
Maybe something prevents them from actually going to Caliborn, like they're missing a crucial artifact and they wouldn't be able to escape from LOCAM with John's powers to return to the same moment with another retcon. We know the juju almost instantaneously can absorb them.
... It'd be something if the events of the Masterpiece somehow preordained them into doing something first.
"JADE: shhh!
It’s dark. Not like “someone turned out the lights out” dark. More like “someone destroyed the concept of light at its very source” dark."
I suppose that, in Caliborn's art, it would be "vantablack" dark due to the absence of a light source he never bothered to draw, but I doubt they just zapped into one of his scribbles he made after John beat him up.
Also, it's a good Light wasn't capitalized in that description. Though, to think about it, Void would look enormously black, wouldn't it?
... Did John zap them into the Void somehow??? It IS the place where Caliborn's soul was stuck for a very long time, after all, but that is after the Masterpiece took place.
"It’s a darkness that fills up your skull. Jake puts this more eloquently, as always:
JAKE: By golly it is indeed dark as fuck."
A+ observation, Jake.
"ROXY: shoosh!!!"
That makes two of the girls shooshing them. ... For a minute there I thought they recognized this void, until I remembered it was Game Over Roxy and post-retcon Jade that ended up meeting Calliope's ghost.
"Jade breaks off from the group. She moves through the air gracefully, ears twitching as she sniffs through space like a bloodhound. “There!” she exclaims, and points down. All the way down."
Being a bit destracted by unformatted sentences uttered by one of the main characters, I'll be honest.
But yeah, I suppose the Space and Void player are most qualified to navigate this... realm. Caliborn's version of the Veil, maybe?
Since it would appear they're not alone here, after all.
"All the way down beneath you there is a light source. Gray, focused—like a spotlight, except that it’s folded over the curvature of the space beneath it. At the center of it stands teenage Lord English, all decked out in his ostentatious god tier jammies."
... Ah. Not a stage in the literal sense, but Caliborn did prepare a grand scene for this faceoff, in that he literally prepared the shittiest scene imagineable: none at all.
"Gamzee’s there too, for some unfathomably stupid reason. There’s a robot bunny chilling out on top of a chest, lookin’ cool and kicking its cute little bunny legs back and forth."
Welp, that sure are the beings present for the Masterpiece.
That was the chest Caliborn kept the juju in, hoh boy.
"You hope that neither of these unexpected dramatis personae will play a role in the coming battle, because it wouldn’t feel right whaling on either of them at this point."
Of course they're going to stay irrelevant, what are you saying? :B
"Lord English is holding something that looks like... Lil Cal? It’s definitely Lil Cal"
So, uh, John recognizes the puppet then? ... Well, granted, he did see baby Dirk/Bro with it on the meteor, and during the ten years since someone must've described the thing to him at one point.
", and Lord English is definitely waltzing around with it in his little spotlight in the middle of the nowhere, swinging the puppet around by both its floppy arms. Well, rather, he was waltzing around. He stopped the moment you looked at him."
... Pffff he wasn't even expecting them right then? He was just playing pretend with Cal for who knows how long.
"> Behold your adversary.
JOHN: ...
CALIBORN: ..."
No. No, we're not doing this again, are we? The epic frown off.
"JOHN: ...
CALIBORN: ...
JOHN: ...
CALIBORN: ...
JOHN: ...
CALIBORN: ...
JOHN: ...
CALIBORN: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?"
What. The fuck. ... Does... Does Caliborn not recognize John because he's an adult???? Or... I mean... Timelines...
Okay, yeah, Blaperile reminded me about something.
Caliborn in the Masterpiece didn't seem to recognize John.
So.
That could mean that.
This.
Is.
Pre-retcon Caliborn.
Fucking Hells.
Even if they get sucked into the juju...
That means.
Lord English is pre-retcon Caliborn.
But post-retcon Caliborn might be a seperate entity.
That means he's an unknown quantifier, but that would mean Paradox Space is seriously screwed, right?
A Caliborn not destined to become Lord English would be free to do whatever he pleased with his Lord of Time powers, and then all bets are off. Even if his pre-retcon self became the bane of endless universes, he was still limited, sanctioned by Paradox Space.
FYI, with pre-retcon & post-retcon, here I meant that I think that, this Caliborn never had John zapping into his room.
But, now that I think about it some more... He would still have recognized John and the others from the consoles.
(Hmm, unless the consoles only showed Caliborn images from B2, but I didn't think that was the case.)
Meanwhile, I don't think the ghost of the Caliborn that Alternate Calliope 'ate' would be dressed in god tier jammies and be chilling with Lil' Seb and Gamzee...
"You simply refuse to answer his question. Instead, you do something so much better. Something that will make both his inevitable fate and your regard for his character incontrovertibly clear."
Is it a punch in the face? Tell me it's a punch in the face. If this Caliborn turns out to be blameless in the rise of Lord English, the second hand embarassment will be palpable.
"> Give him a thumbs-down."
Ah. Beatdown, imminent. :P
"Lord English drops the puppet. For a moment he looks shocked, maybe even a little afraid, but it passes quickly. He starts laughing."
Wow, okay. I didn't think I was ready to consider liking the idea of a version of Caliborn that is more jerk-with-low-self-esteem, but, here I'm getting there.
"JOHN: uh.
CALIBORN: NEVERMIND. I KNOW WHO YOU ARE."
... Oh, then scratch everything I just said. :P
Guess the dorky theatrics finally gave it away, huh? Well, granted, Caliborn is a self-professed slow learner and been shown to be slow in the uptake in some regards.
"CALIBORN: IT WAS FORETOLD. BY THE MASTERPIECE I MADE. WHEN I WAS BUT A BOY."
With Caliborn, it's never clear if he's just boasting or being sincere.
It might be that 7 years passed for him in his session too, but if he had been 13 at the time he could be 20. Then again, if he was 11... He'd still count as a teenager.
"JOHN: what?
CALIBORN: BE QUIET.
CALIBORN: I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT YOU JUST INTERRUPTED A GROUNDBREAKING INTERPRETIVE ART PIECE.
CALIBORN: IT WAS THE FIRST OF ITS KIND. PERFORMED ONLY ONCE. AND MADE MORE VALUABLE FOR ITS RARENESS.
JOHN: wow.
CALIBORN: I SAID SHUT UP. IT’S RUDE TO TALK THROUGH THE OVERTURE.
CALIBORN: BUT DON’T WORRY. ALTHOUGH YOU MISSED MY VERY IMPORTANT DANCE DEMONSTRATION."
... Interpretive dance. His wickedness really knows no bounds!!! :mspa:
"CALIBORN: NOW YOU WILL PARTICIPATE IN SOMETHING EVEN MORE IMPORTANT."
Welp. Caliborn has Fate on his side in this one. He knows what's coming!
Guess we're left to see how straightforward everything will unfold now.
"The young Lord’s face begins to distort. The unhinging of his jaw reverberates in the empty space. He laughs through the remainder of his nefarious soliloquy, which he has possibly prepared in advance for this moment."
I was thinking he'd start shooting lasers, but it would appear the rest of his 'soliloquy' may consist solely out of "HA. HA. HA." repeated ad nauseum.
"CALIBORN: BY NOW, SURELY MANY HAVE WITNESSED MY MASTERPIECE.
CALIBORN: AS IT HAS CIRCULATED THROUGH THE BLACK VEINS. OF THE DARK WEB.
CALIBORN: TRILLIONS HAVE WITNESSED ITS MAJESTY. HATERS AND FOOLS ALIKE."
That might be a LITTLE bit overestimating it. :P Unless, of course, he's talking about all of the ghosts in the dreambubbles, rebubbling the memory ad infinitum. I'm reminded of Gamzee's rap, though, about the trillions being bled.
"CALIBORN: BUT NOW. THE TIME HAS COME.
CALIBORN: FOR EVERYONE TO SHUT UP ABOUT HOW GREAT MY MASTERPIECE WAS.
CALIBORN: AND THE TIME IS NOW AT HAND..."
To see the truth or lack thereof in the masterpiece.
"CALIBORN: FOR YOU ALL TO *BECOME* MY MASTERPIECE!"
... Wow.
Epic.
Okay, that was delivered perfectly.
If we weren't in the epilogues, I'd have expected an [S] page next.
Gotta say, for knowing how this will go in broad strokes, I'm glad at getting the finer details filled in.
So, Caliborn seemed to imply in his Masterpiece Jade still had her First Guardian powers. Guess this scene still takes place in the Green Sun's gaze then.
I hope I'm forgiven for being confused. Post-canon takes place outside of it, but Caliborn's session was spawned in Universe C.
So at some point, he fell back into the Green Sun's domain somehow. Maybe simply by Entering his session.
He thusly entered canon, and gained quite a bit of relevance to Paradox Space.
"A young Lord stands on his stage. It just so happens that today, the thirteenth of April, 11111111111, is this boy's wriggling day.
Though it was 18 sweeps ago he was given life, it is only today he will obtain ultimate power.
What will this young Lord do?"
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May 17, 11.35 pm
Hi! It’s been hell lately. But like, I’m great, you know? I’m tHrIVinG and I’m living my bEsT LifE and yk just uhm dying lmao. Sorry, I’m being weird. Um, happy Norwegian constitution day! I’m obsessed with Skam so I’m like celebrating the holiday a bit. ☺️ I love my emotional comfort show.
Anyway, I’ll stop ignoring my issues. I’ve been having flashbacks again. They’re not bad, they just get stuck in the back of my head and make me uncomfortable and jumpy. And I’ve been wearing summery clothes and I apparently can’t wear cute clothes without suffering. We watched a video about a gruesome rape case in government and I was wearing short shorts and oh my GOD it was so uncomfortable. The second day it somehow ended up being even worse, though. I guess I was just more sensitive that day or something but I got SO uncomfortable and kind of just panicky for the rest of the day. That was yesterday, and I also spent a lot of yesterday afternoon with my dad. I was actually really enjoying it and I had a good day aside from the ptsd bullshit. And then my dad decided to be my dad.
He was just kind of asking normal questions and shit and then randomly brought up my ex’s dad. Which is fine bc they’ve been friends for a long ass time. But then he brought up my ex. He used to do it a lot but it’s been awhile so I wasn’t expecting it as much, and I definitely wasn’t expecting this. My ex is moving back to my city. My dad went on and on about it but it’s just so frustrating. Because thanks to my ex my mental state has been albsolute shit, but I’ve always had the ability to reason with myself that hey, my images in my head of running into him are overdramatic. He’s in another city, so I have nothing to worry about. Now I don’t have the security in being able to do that anymore. And my dad is like buddy bro pals with him so I have a high chance of being forced to be around him. AND he’s moving back to my city so he can transfer to MY college. Technically I haven’t started college yet (now nothing will stop me from taking a gap year) but this college is for liberal arts which is my thing and it’s just pissing me off way too much that I’ll now spend the first two/three years of my college with the knowledge that I could run into him anywhere. I’m just losing it lmao.
The worst part is that he doesn’t think he did anything wrong to me. He genuinely wouldn’t even care if he saw me again. But I’d be panicking even more than I am just thinking about it. Today was such a bad day. I had a flashback first thing in the morning while trying to shower so I put on baggy clothes and wore a big jacket all day (it’s fucking warm outside) and kept it buttoned up so no one could like, see the outline of my body at all. I got really jumpy. And I’ve had a few random moments today where something will remind me of him and everything will just stop and I’ll like die for a minute. I smelled someone’s cologne and it was the first time in months that cologne has triggered me. I thought I’d finally gotten over that trigger. And I don’t even remember what the other thing was but I was talking to my friend and one of us made a reference that reminded me of him and I just froze as I opened the fridge, mouth wide open in shock. It’s like I’m going through the beginning phases of this all over again. It feels like hell.
My therapist and I made plans to work on this next week with emdr because I need it (luckily I got to talk to her right after my dad talked to me). But up until my therapist talks to me I feel like I won’t be comfortable in any sort of cute clothing. Honestly, just the thought of changing into my pajamas feels horrible. I’ll go play Nigtmare by Halsey on repeat and scream and hope it helps me I guess. On the bright side of things, my choir teacher is super close to giving me the solo in Somebody To Love and I’m so excited to do that. I have anxiety meds now so that won’t go wrong. The problem with my anxiety meds is they stop the symptoms, but not the flashbacks, so I’m still uncomfortable all the time, just not panicky. So there’s no point taking it days like today. I hope everyone is having a better time than I am. My love to you all. 💕
Chris xx
#complex ptsd#cptsd#ptsd#abusive ex#i hate my dad#i hate my life#ptsd life#ptsd thoughts#actually ptsd#actually traumatized#flashbacks#summer outfits#nightmares#i want to die#trauma#emdrtherapy#emdr#skam#choir is great at least#i wanna die#chris and their bullshit
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Yo, so let me preface this: I used to watch the 2003 4kids TMNT when I was a kiddo, and I've also been watching TMNT2012, and I'm also pretty hype about Rise tbh, but it got me thinking about the weird rabbit-holey SI/reader being in a relationship with one or more or all of the bros- and like, made me think back to the one I wrote a few years back when I was sick. It also made me think of Raphael having the Hebrew version of his name instead of the Latin/Italian version, Raffaello, and of course because Angelology is its own dark rabbit hole of research, yeah, I was thinking about the archangels, the Hamato brothers and a SI/OFC. Also a bible-thumping, born-again bus seat neighbour.
Then I decided, I have to write this glorious mess.
(It's for 2012, 'cause I'm most familiar with that incarnation atm)
__
There's something crappily unlucky about getting stuck in New York City after 10:30 in what many, if not most people consider the bad part of town.
It was a reprieve at first, honestly, but after the first 10 minutes, it just was such a drag.
Want to know what happened? Well, the Greyhound broke down, and the driver couldn't fix it, so he called another bus to pick his passengers up, which would be coming. Eventually. Some time after 11:30. Wonderful.
Great. Well, I wasn't beside a born-again Christian Evangelist Bible-thumper trying to shove her brand of religion down my throat, so plus.
On the flipside, minus: I don't know NYC, like at all, I was daytripping. So I wandered off because I was rather sick of my benchmate, the Bible-thumper, and, haha, of course, got lost.
Now I've heard some shit about the Big Apple recently, and like, it's wacky. Ninjas? Aliens? Oh get real. That's a movie publicity stunt.
But ho boy, was I wrong.
So while I was wandering, trying to find my way back to the bus shelter, I hear footsteps approaching me, and like these suited Pod-people clones with these gnarly laser rifles are following me. My eyes go wide, 'cause holy shit, this is either a ballsy as fuck publicity stunt or I'm about to get murdered or worse by these plug fugly clone rejects, and to be honest, either choice sounds kinda shitty.
So I'm there, speed walking the FUCK outta there, when I hear whooping, jeering and clanking metal, I turn, lo and behold: ... Uh turtles...?
I blinked a couple times, nope. Not a stress-induced hallucination, okay, that's good? Yeah, a quick pinch to the arm also verified it wasn't a dream, because oww... And uh, my stare was being returned, and I barely withheld a squeak of startlement, with a no-doubt awkward look I gave my rescuers a smile-and-wave combo. And immediately regretted it.
Between one blink and the next the turtly-shaped anomalies, there were four of them, all around 5-ish feet tall. All sorta staring- like what happens when you stare too long at the abyss, it stares back.
"Um, hi..?" Mouth engaged before brain rebooted, great start. "Thanks for saving me from those creeps..." I think I nervous blabber, that's gotta be the only reason I'm still talkin'. "My name's Daphne, you, uh, fine fellas see a bus shelter 'round here? Think I got a little turned around.." Finally, my mouth ran out of words to spew out, and I was left to get a closer look at my rescuers. I mean, outside of 5-ish foot tall turtles.
Decked out in domino mask-like bandanas, the quartet made for a fairly imposing image, weapons adorning them and blank eyes. Fairly imposing at least until the shortest one, in the orange, spoke, baby blue eyes glittering at me. My mental image of my knights in tortoiseshell armour tarnished a bit,. "Whoa, bros, she's kinda pretty."
She's also right here, I snorted, taken aback, god he sounded like a teen- oh shit, could he actually be a teen? Huh, that's not something ya see everyday, teenage ninja mutant turtles.
The one with the red bandana smacked the one that had spoken upside the head. "Why don't you think before you speak?!" ... Okaay, that's, uh, new.
He spoke again, absolutely unfazed by the whimpering, teary-eyed stare he was receiving, "Bus shelters about five blocks that way." And he pointed in the direction I'd come from, ah nuts, I'm probably getting more lost in the seedy part of an already dangerous city, great. I smile at them a bit wanly, "NYC's got my internal compass a little on the buggered side, but eh, thanks for the directions." I move to push past them, when a blast of pink energy from a nearby alley slams into the pavement in front of me, and I leap back with a choked off curse.
The one in blue grimaces, and barks out, "Let's take care of these pests first, Mikey, Don, can you cover for..?" I'm assuming he's the leader, but it still startles me a bit when he looks at me amidst the blaster fire. Holy shit, my day's just become an episode of a comedy sci-fi anime.
So Blue told Orange, 'Mikey', and Purple, 'Don', to cover me, the civilian liability, yeah, fair, but I was planning on booking it back in the ensuing chaos, nuts. Right, he asked my name again, "Daphne."
"Sure thing Leo!" Next thing I know after Orange chirps that is the sound of a facepalm, ah, that sweet sound of exasperation. I see Blue grit his teeth, and Red poorly hold back a bark of laughter. Ah, I assume they were going for subtle and mysterious. They failed. Oh well.
I fished my phone from my hoodie pocket, 11 pm, oh good. I had time. I put my phone back and sat crosslegged on the ground, and propped my head up. Makes both less and more of a target, I'd wager, plus with all this cloak and dagger, haha, ninja b/s maybe I'll make my bus before they drive off and I have to find a hostel or something.
Again I find my mouth running off before my brain can process, "So... Come here often?" Of course I had to imbue as much sarcasm as I could, raising my voice so all four could hear me- probably not my best call, but I was tired and getting quite cranky. All but Blue were at least amused, Blue, eh, ya can't win 'em all. "So, eh, what are these pod people supposed to be anyway? Rejected robot clone Men In Black?"
I flinch as a silver robot with a smirking brain goes to reach for me, but man am I glad I took a a few years of various martial arts. With a spot of grace, and it beint close enough to use it's brain as a spring board, I do a back roll, and end up knocking into Purple on the get up. "Sorry man, didn't mean to, ugly over there caught me by surprise." He turns to see where I rolled from, and spots a KO'd 'droidy bastard. "That'd be ugly then?" Giving him a cheeky smirk, I humm, "Mmhm, that's him, warts and all!" I stretch, mutterjng to myself as I do, "Ah man, it's been a bit since I've done that..." The four of them by this point have have taken care of the robo-menaces, and Blue still looks extraordinarily unimpressed. Almost like what happened was my fault.
"What are you even doing out here so late? Most people aren't." My eye twitched, yeah, that was equal parts tiredness and irritation, "Like I said, New York buggers with my internal compass and I got turned around. I don't want to be a target for less-than-savoury people, so I learned a helpful tip, called look like you know what you're doing. I'm pretty fucking lost right know, so some help would be much appreciated. If you want incentive, I've got some artisan dark chocolate, and some low-sweetness white chocolate, that ok?"
Eventually, after 10 minutes of bickering, a bar of white chocolate lighter, I was able to get an 'escort'. Red who I found out was properly called Raphael, who was equal parts volunteered and voluntold to make sure I was able to see the bus shelter before buggering off. As I walked the last couple of blocks, an errant thought popped into my head. Raphael was classically an Archangel. There were classically, at least in bare-bones Christianity, four of them. Micheal, Gabriel, Raphael and Uriel. That- oh boy, did that give me an idea if that lady was gonna try and make me change my beliefs and spirituality.
Plot twist, or maybe not, my favourite person in the world decided to sit rihht beside me. Again. For the long ride homewards. I think she took my silence as license to gab. Oh joy.
Putting on my most awed, touched by God face, from the shadows of my hood, and the most dreamy voice I can manage I put my plan into being.
I flip my hood down, and turn to face her a little bit more, "You know," I cut her off mid-I'll-be-damned-if-I-don't-convert speech, "I think I was visited by the Archangels, you see, I got a little turned around, and I think they guided me back safely." She was gaping like a fish, "One of them even spoke to me," I continued blithely, "He introduced himself as Raphael. That's after they scared off a group of muggers." She looked like I slapped her with a particularly slimy fish, "I-I, bwuh?" Eloquent, lady, very eloquent. "They were so kind and helpful, I can't believe they appeared to this sinful daughter..." After a beat or two, "Miss are you okay?" The fanatical lady was still a bit BSoD, which was a-ok by me, so I flipped my hood back up, and went back to trying to sleep.
I didn't think much of the whole incident for a while, until my friend flipped me a vid of a radical upstate New York lady losing her shit upon being interviewed by a televangelist. I wanted to laugh, I wanted to cry. She was talking about me.
Not quite in so many words, of course, since she wasn't there for what actually happened, but she flipped out when the 'pastor' questioned the validity of her, by extension, my story, through my phone speakers I could hear the question being asked, 'how do you know she was sober?' and the lady just loosing it. I wheezed. What?
#lilac writes#tmnt 2012#angelology#ofc - centric#humour#goofy#it's kinda funny#it's kinda weird#i kinda like it#all the shenanigans
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((thank you to guest writer @hurricanesunny !!!))
Michael backspaces on the seventh text he’s typed out since getting here twenty minutes ago. That, of course, doesn’t include the panicked phone call in the parking lot that he ended on the second ring or the three blurry Snaps of the sidewalk that he deleted, but who’s really counting?
See, Michael doesn’t want to text Jeremy. That’s important to understand here. He had already made a pretty big deal out of being cool with the whole thing when they had both received their orientation packets a while back. So Jeremy and Jake ended up having theirs together last week. Michael, on the the other hand, got stuck in the M-Z group by himself. No biggie. This is life just helping a bro out. He can totally handle it.
Give it up for Michael’s big, fat mouth.
It’s okay, though! It totally is, because Michael has a plan. He’s already circled the classes he wants. The paperwork in his lap is a little wrinkled from him gripping it too tightly, but it’s completely filled out. The inevitable pow-wow with his guidance counselor is gonna be smooth sailing. Michael’s also memorized the campus map so he doesn’t have to ask anyone for directions if he gets lost on the tour, but he also downloaded the PDF on his phone and stuck an extra copy from the help desk in his back pocket just in case. During the drive up here, he only listened to the slowest of jams. A mix, specifically, that Jeremy had awkwardly handed him last night in hopes that it would maybe make up for his absence. When Michael got here, he immediately took the corner seat, back row. Hood up, headphones on, music off. Classic stoner diversion. All day he’ll just tail behind, make no eye contact, and get into the classes he’s been banking on since his early acceptance.
But then Michael looks up from the day’s itinerary to see that his plan’s about to be dragged out back, shot twice, then set on fire just for good measure.
“Dude, this freakin’ blows.”
Someone, a girl Michael’s never seen before, flops down next to him. She drops her knapsack, worn and littered with keychains, on the floor and gives it one swift kick under her chair. Her eyes briefly leave Michael’s to look up and blow a strand of hair out of her face. He continues to stare as she starts rummaging through her sweater pockets. With an entire conference room of empty seats to choose from, this girl decides to go ahead and take the one right next to him.
Life’s definitely not on his side today.
Michael flinches as a plastic baggy is shoved in his face. He blinks, trying to focus on it. The girl shakes the bag a little, causing the colorful contents inside to dance.
“Gummy bear?”
As if to demonstrate, she rips one in half between her teeth. Her eye contact doesn’t waver, which makes Michael vaguely feel like he’s the gummy bear in this particular situation. He swallows hard, reluctantly pushing his headphones down around his neck. Not like he was listening to anything anyway. The girl tilts her head. C’mon, Mell. Use your big boy words.
“My, uh, mom told me not to take candy from strangers,” he eventually chokes out. Smooth. The girl snorts. Whatever panic Michael just puked up on the floor must’ve been buried beneath what sounds like a pretty chill comeback. Still, he wouldn’t be surprised if she decided to cut her losses now and move on. It’s what people do, and it’s only going to get uglier from here. But right on societal cue, the girl shoots her other hand out to remedy the situation.
“PJ. You?”
Michael considers himself a pretty observant guy, at least when he’s able to hit the brakes on his runaway thoughts long enough to put the talent to good use. So whenever he starts to get a little too freaked by situations like this, he tries to identify things about the other person that remind him of his friends. It helps thinking of them anyway, like he’s not actually braving the social storm alone, but it also reminds him that not every interaction is necessarily unknown territory.
Take this girl, for example.
As Michael glances from her hand to her face, she wiggles her fingers and snorts again. It’s loud. Unapologetic. Her scrunched up nose, freckles and all, screams Christine. And Christine isn’t scary, right?
Right.
“Michael,” he answers slowly, wiping his palm on the front of his jeans before giving her hand one short shake. Her hand is small in his, but her grip is deadly. He’s almost afraid she won’t let go. “What's it stand for?”
“Whuzzat?” She’s already shoving another handful of gummy bears into her mouth, seemingly forgetting her earlier offer. It’s cool, though. Michael doesn’t think he could keep anything down right now.
“PJ. Like… are those your initials or something? First and last?” Michael makes a face. “Shit, no, you would’ve been in the other group then.“ His high school teachers were totally right. His 3.96 GPA is doing him wonders in the real world. “So… it’s your first two?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know,” PJ hums. She lifts the bag over her head and tilts it to catch the last few bears in her mouth. “Maybe I did miss last week. Maybe it’s my middle initial. Mayhaps,” she wiggles her eyebrows, “I don’t have a last name at all.”
“So you’re named PJ. Just… PJ.”
“Alright, alright.” PJ waves her hand dismissively as she crumples the bag up and shoves it in her pocket. “If you ever get pissed at me, feel free to go full parental and use my full name.”
“Okay? What is it?” PJ can barely keep a straight face.
“Pajamas.”
As Michael holds back a groan, PJ’s got a shit-eating grin that’s missing a gap in the teeth and a few more expletives coming out of it. Rich would totally get a kick out of this girl. Michael almost works himself up to testing her banter game, because this girl is definitely fucking with him at this point, but the opportunity quickly passes and he clams right back up.
“Oh!” PJ gasps, perking up. She leans in super close. “I like your patches.” She starts to trace the careful stitching around each one. First the flag of the Philippines, then all the way down his shoulder to the trans pride flag. “Did you sew them on yourself?” After no response, she looks up and frowns.
Green eyes study his face for a moment, analyzing. Michael’s warm under the collar and he can feel himself freezing up, but he remembers to think. He’s seen the same colors in Chloe’s eyes a hundred times, watching him amongst the chatter before sending a quick ‘You okay?’ text from under the lunch table. This girl must make the same sort of conclusion, because she silently scoots herself out of Michael’s personal bubble and God he can breathe again.
“Yeah, yeah, um.” Words, Michael. “I learned when I was a kid. Mom.” Michael points to the heart on his chest. “This is the first one I did. The stitching’s a little wonky so you can probably tell.” He points to the one near his right pocket. “This was a gift from a teacher in middle school. Got Philippines and Ecuador a little bit after.” Michael finally points to the last two. “Got these back when I, uh, came out.”
PJ lights up.
“Holy fuck, you should totally join Trans Alliance with me.” Michael almost laughs. He doesn’t do clubs. He would say that he only really does Jeremy nowadays, but fuck if that isn’t true either. Oh, God, did he really just think that? He did, he really did.
“Clubs aren’t… really my thing.”
“Oh, c’mon,” she whines. “I don’t want to go by myself and you seem like a pretty chill dude.”
“Being chill isn’t really my thing either,” Michael mumbles, all cryptic and shit. PJ raises one eyebrow and Michael prays to every deity under the sun that he doesn’t have to explain that today. PJ opens her mouth, presumably to push him further, but Michael beats her to the chase.
“Did you know that baby koalas can’t eat eucalyptus leaves yet?” he blurts out. “So, um,” because the stupid words have already come out of your mouth, great job Mell, “they eat a special kind of their mother’s poop called ‘pap’ so they can learn to digest them.”
Jesus fuck, out of all the useless junk in his head he went with that?
“Shit, dude, really?” PJ asks, unfazed. She then laughs to herself. “Heh. Shit.”
“Uh, yeah, I, uh, watch a lot of documentaries in my free time. I like learning weird shit like that,
,” Michael offers weakly, scratching the back of his neck. A terrible segue, but a successful one. He’s a little afraid to look up, because he’s seen enough faces turn sour when he reveals just how completely uncool he is (and it’s fine, because Michael likes himself enough to make up for it but boy does it still sting a little every time,) but when he finally meets PJ’s eyes they’re burning bright like a wildfire.
“That’s so cool. What else are you into?”
“Oh, y’know… stuff.”
“Liiike?” She gently punches his arm. “I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t wanna know.”
“Well, I’m kinda into music, I guess.” He glances down at the papers in his lap. “I was thinking of Theory and Comp as my major, but I dunno. It might be dumb.”
“Oh shit, Liberal arts re-pruh-seeent,” PJ grins, pointing two thumbs to her chest. “Gotchu a Fine Arts girl right here.” She wiggles her eyebrows. “A pretty Fine Girl too, if I do say so myself.” Michael can’t help but chuckle. He feels the tension in his shoulders start to melt away as he pushes up his sleeves. An unsteady hand works its way through his hair.
“I’ve read about the program here, God, probably a dozen times now online and it sounds rad as hell. I don’t think I’ll have any trouble declaring, but I’m trying not to worry about it. It’d be nice to finally get some formal guidance. I’ve been coasting on YouTube videos and underfunded music classes for years.” PJ nods along, encouraging him to continue, but her eyes flick down to the inside of his left arm and she freezes in place. A finger jabs Michael’s tattoo. PJ looks at him.
“Video games.”
“Video games,” Michael repeats. “...Do you play?” PJ stares at him a moment before slowly pulling away. Her fingers curl into her sweater sleeves. Michael feels a familiar twinge in his chest as he sees PJ almost shrink into herself, looking anywhere but at him.
“I guess you could call me a fake gamer girl.”
“Fake?” There’s a bad taste in Michael’s mouth as he says it.
“I, uh, own the viddy games. I love the viddy games. I am… not good at the viddy games.” PJ laughs nervously. Jake’s always been great at laughing at himself too, but anyone who listens closely can tell that he’s had more practice learning to laugh at things that have hurt him. Michael hears that same pain in PJ’s voice. “Plus I’ve only really played, like, Minecraft and Mario Party, so… I wouldn’t call myself a real fan or anything.”
“Are you kidding? Mario Party’s the shit. And I spent most of sixth grade locked in my basement trying to recreate Middle Earth in Minecraft. Only a damn fool and a liar would shake their head at anyone who digs that game.”
“Really?”
“Fuck yeah. I consider myself an expert at most things. You name it, I’ve played it. Atari 2600, N64, Dreamcast, the busted claw machine in the arcade back home,” Michael says, counting on his fingers. “So if I say that you’re a certified fan of video games, you gotta take my word for it.”
“Wow, ya nerd,” PJ mumbles, but her smile is back. “You better go easy on me.”
Michael laughs. “Not a chance.”
“So that means you’ll play with me sometime?” PJ suddenly asks. Her tone is innocent, but it reminds Michael of Brooke’s sugar sweet smiles and clever words that always rope you in.
“Uh--” Michael is interrupted by a few notes of Space Invaders playing from his pocket. He gestures apologetically as he fishes his phone out and checks his notifications.
From that gross heere kid 💕: Hey, I just wanted to check that you got to campus alright. It blows that we didn’t get to go together.
Michael quickly turns his phone on silent as another message pops up.
From that gross heere kid 💕: We’re still hanging tonight, though, right? There’s gonna be Doritos galore and a packed bowl for ya when you finally get your ass back in town.
From that gross heere kid 💕: When exactly is that going to be again?
From that gross heere kid 💕: Anyway! Have fun, talk to strangers, make me proud. See you soon, buddy.
“Who’s that?” Michael nearly jumps out of his skin. PJ’s leaning over in her chair, trying to take a peek at the screen again. “I saw heart emojis.”
“It’s my friend. Uh, Jeremy.” Michael holds the phone to his chest, much to her dismay.
“Jeremy,” PJ repeats, trying the name out on her tongue. There’s something about the way she says it that makes Michael wonder if he’s that obvious.
“Yeah. He’s asking me how things are going.”
“And how are they going?”
“Good. I think.”
“You gonna tell him that?”
“Maybe. Once I know for sure. I usually put things off when it comes to him.”
“Oo, there’s a story there. I’m intrigued.”
“Easy there, Jen,” Michael quickly says, gently pushing her back. PJ falls back into her chair, squinting as he shoves his phone back into his pocket.
“Wha? Who’s Jen?”
“Huh? Oh, fuck, I mea--” Michael’s cut off by the orientation coordinator at the front of the room. Clipboard in hand, she calls for everyone to group into pairs for the campus tour. Michael blinks. How long had they been talking? When he had arrived, he had definitely been the only one in the room. Now, at least a few dozen other freshmen are pushing past each other, loud and way too excited for a Monday morning. One by one, potential partners are picked off.
Understanding the urgency of the situation, Michael then turns to PJ, because this is the longest conversation he’s had with someone outside of the squad that wasn’t the 7/11 attendant back home. And him and Darlene are acquaintances at best.
“Uh, duh.” PJ rolls her eyes. She hops out of her seat, scooping up her knapsack by the Beanie Baby keychain and flinging it over her back. “So, who’s Jen? Is she pretty, too?”
“Just one of my other friends.” Michael stands up, carefully sliding his papers into his own backpack before slinging it over one shoulder. “You kinda remind me of all of them. My friends, I mean.”
“Oh. Well you can tell me all about ‘em at Trans Alliance, right?” She looks over her shoulder to make sure Michael is still following her. He is. “Maybe I can give you the scoop on some original Peej content too.”
Michael bites his bottom lip, thinks about it, then decides that maybe he should just roll with things every once in a while. See what happens. “Yeah, uh, yeah. I can. That’d be cool.”
“Great.” PJ grins. She falls a step behind. “Now, let’s go check out the cafeteria food. You think anything’s growing in there?”
“Oh, definitely. I’ve seen enough D-List movies in my time to know there’s a horror movie in there just waiting for us to star in.”
PJ suddenly pushes Michael forward. Such strength for a tiny girl. “Well, c’mon, then! It’s your time to shine!”
Michael laughs, digging his heels into the floor. PJ huffs behind him.
Okay, maybe life’s got his back after all.
#be more chill#michael mell#pajamas#hahaha guess thats gunna be the pj tag#hey i fucking love sunny#ive been sitting on this for a while BUT I CANNOT WAIT ANYMORE i must post it#askguestslikeus
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im so fucking done of being stuck in the house with my own sister and it’s becoming very clear that her abusive tendencies haven’t really gone away. she has been commenting on what i eat and what i do during the day (which is not a whole lot but... it’s quarantine. sorry for actually listening to social distancing rules unlike everyone in my house and most of the people in my town). she knows im depressed but her constant negativity and criticism isn’t helping. the whole unfairness of our relationship has become really clear. i basically wait on her hand and foot and when i don’t do something she asks of me, she gets pissed and calls me “lame” or berates me like “its not even that hard” or just “seriously? it’ll take two seconds” like damn bitch do it yourself then. im not your servant just because im your nice little sister.
i don’t ever ask anything of her. literally can’t remember the last time i asked her to do anything for me. i only ever tell her to do stuff like “leave me alone” and “stop messing with that” and “please stop, seriously” and “that hurt” (physically or emotionally) and she NEVER i mean NEVER fucking listens. she doesn’t care. she thinks it’s funny to tease me and torment me and irritate me and then blames me for being too sensitive when i finally snap at her because im pissed off. damn, maybe if you weren’t making it hard for me to breathe by suddenly jumping on me and refusing to get up and leave me alone, i wouldn’t have to push you on the floor and yell at you to get out. maybe if you weren’t constantly hypocritical, i wouldn’t be so irritated with you all the time.
we both have to do our homework at home now which isn’t that big of a deal for me since i can focus a lot better than she can and i know that. but she’s so incredibly inconsiderate. she needs complete silence when she’s doing her homework and says it’s distracting for me to even walk past her when she’s working. so i stay silent. i put headphones in to listen to videos or zoom calls and i warn her if i have to record or talk. i try not to get up and get food or use the bathroom too often. im more than considerate.
however, whenever im doing my homework, she’s facetiming her friend, being on zoom calls without headphones and with the volume on high and her talking at full volume (EVEN AFTER i offered her to use my headphones for her calls multiple times because it’s distracting for me and she was like “of course im not gonna use headphones, that would look silly” like bruh) and singing and talking and literally SCREAMING. like wordless, just screaming because she gets frustrated with her work. bro, i get it. but shut the hell up. god, she would kill me if i did some of the things she does to me while she was working. id literally get cursed and yelled at.
she asks me pretty frequently if i think she’s a good person. i think she’s a good person sometimes. i think she’s too sensitive and can’t take any sort of criticism and lashes out at me because she thinks im pretentious and bratty. she’s straight up told me that she used to resent me (starting from when i was literally a BABY) and still kind of does. she says im much better than i used to be. the only reason she thinks that is because i stopped putting up as much of a fight against her. if i ever say something sassy or rude or even just defend myself, she claims im a dickhead brat who’s spoiled and has a bad attitude. really she’s just a sensitive little bitch.
ive lost four pounds in the past couple weeks because ive been eating less by tracking my calories. i haven’t really been eating a whole lot better but i think four pounds is a pretty good start considering how this is the first time ive really tried and committed to losing weight. but even my sister doesn’t think that’s enough.
i eat a bagel with cream cheese for breakfast. she walks up and says “you know, a bagel is equal to like 5 slices of bread.” yes i know. you’ve told me already this week. you told me a month ago. you keep telling me. im just trying to eat, dude, back off and stop trying to make me feel bad because im not eating fruit smoothies and salad and avocado toast like you are. i get it, you’re skinny and healthy and like to pretend you don’t know it but you and i both know that you do. call yourself fat all you want, but my friends have literally asked if you’re a model, you have maybe an inch thick of stomach fat, i can feel the bumps of your spine when i touch your back, and i can see your ribs when you stretch your arms up.
she knows it makes me feel bad when she calls herself fat and she does not care in the slightest. she’s like “oh im getting pretty chunky oh boy” and then ill make a comment about feeling fat and she’ll be like “oh you’re not fat” like bruh i know you think you’re chunky and i have a lot more fat than you do don’t lie to me.
she told me it makes her feel worse about her hairline when i comment about how im insecure about mine. so i stopped saying anything about it. i told her it makes me feel bad when she comments on how im not doing basic things right (cutting an apple, cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming, sweeping. all real examples of things she says im not good at and calls me stupid. how the fuck is someone BAD at sweeping? the floor’s clean now isn’t that what matters?) and she said “well practice makes perfect” and i told her it makes me feel even worse about myself and she was just like “well you don’t know how to clean and you need to learn.”
i know how to clean. ive cleaned my room. ive cleaned the kitchen. ive cleaned our shared bathroom (she came home when i was just finishing up after deep cleaning it and even doing the parts she said she would do because i was just that nice. she immediately criticized me and said i had cleaned with the wrong cleaner and needed to reclean the whole thing again. i said no because that’s ridiculous and it was about to turn into a fight so like the pushy i am i gave in and cleaned. the whole. bathroom. again. but with a different cleaner that wasn’t “greasy” and “only for oil and grease, not bathrooms” and “smelled bad” because that really matters in the long run i guess). i just don’t do it the quickest or maybe the most efficient or the way she would do it but literally WHO CARES. if the floor is swept why does it matter that i didn’t do it as fast as you would. goddamn.
she came into my room while i was drawing on my digital tablet today. i showed her how it worked and everything and she asked to see something that id drawn and i said no (ive never been comfortable showing my art to other people that aren’t strangers online (lol) and she has consistently taken sketchbooks directly from my hands or gone through them when i was in a different room despite me telling her multiple times not to) and she kept asking for a reason and i just said i didn’t want to. she kept interrogating me and i was like “i don’t know what you want me to say” and she was like “i want a logical answer why you won’t show me” and of course i didn’t really have one and so i was just like “i don’t really have one, i just don’t wanna show you because it makes me uncomfortable” and she got pissy and left. fine, leave, don’t want you in here anyways. stop being so offended that you don’t get unfiltered access to everything in my life.
she’s a biology major. im trying to decide on a vague idea for my future major and i can’t remember how it was brought up but i said something about going into STEM and possibly biology and she was like. “aw don’t do that. i mean if it really makes you happy then go ahead but ill be upset and probably a little pissed.” which okay i get that a bit (eh) but ive never even thought about going into bio so she doesn’t have to worry and i told her as much. and then i asked why she wouldn’t want me to and she was like “because everyone knows you’d be better than me at it and i just want to have like... my thing” (i get that too (but maybe if you did your work on time and actually went to class then you’d be better at it. but whatever)) and i said i probably wouldn’t be better but i get that or whatever. and then i think she made a joke and i laughed and she was a few seconds later like “why do you look so smug? like you’re happy about the fact that i think you’re better than me” and i was like “that’s literally not true” and she was like “everyone likes feeling like they’re smart and you feel like you’re better than me and you’re smug about it” (or something like that) and i had to convince her that not i literally do not and am not smug. damn bitch, insecure much? that pissed me off that she would think that low of me to assume that i ENJOYED her insecurities and felt like i was smarter than her. wow. ive told her countless times in depth and with detail that i believe we both have strengths and weakness and neither of us are better than the other, and she still doesn’t believe me. but whatever.
it’s constant, little things like that. ive always managed to let a lot of them slide and that is one of the only reasons she thinks im such a good sister. that and i lie to her a lot about how i feel about her. she says stuff like “im surprised you haven’t killed me in my sleep yet, you’re too good to me, ive been terrible to you” but still continues. but whatever. ive only been waiting for her to move out for four years now, i guess i can wait a few more months (hopefully only that).
she says she’ll get pissed if i don’t call her every week once we aren’t living together and so i say i will but. i don’t want to. i don’t want to tell her about my life and my worried just to have her criticize them or say im being ridiculous. i don’t want to have to live like this forever. im so tired. so so tired.
im not saying it’s all bad. sometimes our donut runs at 2am are nice. and sometimes she is interested in what im doing when no one else is. sometimes, she gives good advice. sometimes we talk for hours on end. she’s one of the first people i go to when im having problems with me my mom. i trust her with somethings. it’s not all bad
but her constant emotional and verbal abuse has shaped me into a scared, pushover little girl with insecurities, trust issues, and guilt. she’s always said i was the favorite and laughs now and says “i think me being mean to you when we were younger was good for you, it too you down a few pegs so now you’re not so spoiled.” it also traumatized me and gave me self esteem issues, but yeah, haha, at least im not a spoiled brat (but to you, i still am, but only when i don’t do what you want or say what you want me to say). thanks for that.
anyways, it’s been a while since ive made a long rant. it’s past 4am and i woke up at 2:30pm today so it’s probably time to sleep and dread waking up in the morning. nice.
4.18.20 4:22AM
#food mention#ed tw#not specifically mentioned but i talked about weight and body image#body image tw#depression tw#emotional abuse#abuse tw#sisterly chronicles#.mine
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Memories Of Mom & Dad Playing Video Games
So no game culture wrap up this week, due to aforementioned on-going health related complications. Nothing serious, though it’s been enough for me to not only miss the majority of Death By Audio Arcade’s latest shindig, Deathmatch By Audio IX (perhaps some of you might recall my mention of XIII), but I also have to sit out on DBAA’s upcoming appearance at the Smithsonian this weekend. And that sucks.
At the very least, I’m able to catch a screening of the one film that truly encapsulates the New York City experience, that being the criminally underrated Bill Murray vehicle Quick Change, with the girlfriend. I should also be able to post something this Sunday, which is somewhat of a special day for Attract Mode, but more on that later.
In the meanwhile, wanted to share something that caught my eye on Reddit, the image above obviously. Not surprisingly, what results are various folks sharing their own fond memories, of mom or dad playing video games. Here are the stand outs…
“In 1989 my parents got divorced. I was 6. My dad went to go stay with a friend who had a kid my age, and we went there on nights we visited him.
One night I was sleeping in my friends room, my dad woke me in the middle of the night and brought me downstairs.
He and his buddy had been stuck on World 2-1 in Super Mario Bros for an hour, and had eventually got so frustrated that waking the kids seemed like the appropriate course of action
I cleared the level for him and went back to bed.”
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“I was about 6 or 7, my step-dad had rented SMB2 for me. He eventually pried me away and sent us to bed that evening. When I woke up the next day, I found my 4yr old sister playing, and she was in a level I'd never seen before. Next thing I know, she was battling Wart. I knew this thanks to Nintendo Power. I watched in complete amazement as she battled him, but then I realized her movements weren't quite syncing up with what I was seeing on screen.
That's when I realized I'd been had. My step dad had stayed up until 5am beating the game and recording it on VHS - then set my sister up for the ultimate prank. He really had me going for awhile.
Another time he found a clipart collection of popular commercial logos and started sending out letters on official looking letterhead. He sent his cousin one from Coors about getting to attend the SuperBowl, and sent me one from Nintendo saying I'd been selected to beta test their upcoming 32-bit system. It had a secret code I was supposed to use when I called the number on the paper. I ended up calling a vitamin company and repeating my passphrase to one very confused customer service rep.”
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“I remember my mother waking me on a school night at 2am to watch her kill Chaos in FF. That was pretty cool.”
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“Dad bought a Gameboy in the early 90s for my brother and I to keep us quiet on road trips (it didn't work cos he only bought one...) And my mom got hooked on Tetris. Most of the accessories we got were bought by mom. Battery pack..a bigger battery pack. The light. The magnifier. All of it so she could keep playing Tetris.
Little while later we got Dr Mario for NES and mom got hooked on that too. I still remember the last time my mom ever played a video game. It was 7am on a Wednesday morning. I walked into the den and there she was sitting on the floor, playing Dr Mario.
‘Mom where's breakfast’
‘What're you doing up? What time is it!? Oh my god!’
She'd played Dr Mario for the entire night. She called in sick to work so she could sleep, and traded the game in for credit at a local game store the next day. Never touched Tetris again either.”
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“I remember one of the first games I got for N64 was Star Wars: Shadow of the Empire. Sometimes when I'd get stuck on a level I'd ask my dad to beat it for me. I don't think he really liked video games or anything - I'm sure he'd much rather have played catch or something outside - but he'd play for hours to beat those levels for me because he wanted to spend time with me and my brothers, and that's what we wanted to do. It's one of the fondest memories I have of him. Anyway, at some point I asked him to beat the sewer level for me, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't take down that tentacle boss. Then one day I managed to do it for myself. After that I knew what I had to do. I killed him and took his place as ruler of the family. Old man shouldn't have shown weakness.”
Now, this isn’t the first time that such imagery has been shared in such a forum, far from it. And still to this day, my absolute favorite example (as evidenced by the fact that I’ve written about it multiple times, for multiple places, so it’s finally Attract Mode’s turn) remains the time some dude came home to discover his mom drunk and playing Link To The Past, around 2 in the morning. Which he also had to take a picture of and share on the internet. Naturally…
And here we have my favorite responses from that, the ones that are not quite so vulgar…
“I’m just going to say it, I’d bang your mom.”
“I played A Link to the Past with my mom when I was a kid. I used to come home from school and she would tell me about all the progress she made while I was gone. >:c”
“Sweet CRT man.”
“my mom was playing Ducktales when I was conceived.”
“HEY OP THANKS FOR TAKING A SEXUAL PUIC OF YOUR MOM. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK EVERYONE WHO USES THIS SITE”
“Dude, clean your house.”
“Marry her”
“Seriously, Plasma and LCD prices are so cheap now. Buy a new tv, there is no excuse. A buddy and his wife had that exact tv until may this year. I got so sick of watching hockey on it at their place I went to best buy and dropped 800 on a new 50 inch plasma for them just so we could have a proper hockey party. Really people the 90′s are over it’s time to ditch the crt.”
“COMMENTS SUMMARY: EVERYONE WANTS TO FUCK YOUR MOM.”
Oh, so back to the original subject, that being folks sharing stories about a parent playing a Game Boy… I’ve got one of my own.
It was Christmas time, 1996. Up till that point, I was a freshman in art school, in New York City, my first significant chunk of time away from home. But instead of flying back to Washington State, to spend the holidays with my parents, I instead went down south to Louisiana. You see, there was this girl from high school that I was friends with, and we were just friends… until I began to develop feelings during our long phone conversations, which sprung from both of us being homesick in college (she was attending some major school in the midwest).
So the plan was for me to spend time with her, at her parents, who had just relocated down south (since it was a military household, they were reassigned). I came up with a bullshit cover story to my dad, about how I got a gig on a Rugrats motion picture, hence why I was staying put in NYC (it’s worth noting that my first legit job in school was being a telephone psychic and I accidentally predicted The Rugrats Movie years before it actually happened, yes sayin’). I had assumed that my holidays would be spent a close friend from back home, who wasn’t my girlfriend, but would become one.
Well, that didn’t quite happen. I would discover in the most awkward way possible that she didn’t feel that way about me, and early on into my two week stay. So to pass the time, I ended up just playing Game Boy… as in, I played with her dad’s Game Boy. And quite a bit. Tetris was the game, which her dad was obsessed with it. Him and I would pass it back and forth, to top each other’s high scores. The old man basically felt sorry for me; he knew why I was there, i.e. to have sex with his daughter, but because I was so clearly crestfallen from being rejected, he tried his best to keep me distracted.
Though it’s a safe bet that he would have figured out other ways to keep me occupied if his daughter was indeed into me. Though in the end, I’m happy to say that my Game Boy Tetris skills are so good that it’s enough to beat a legit 4 star general in the United States Army.
Don’t forget: Attract Mode is now on Medium! There you can subscribe to keep up to date, as well as enjoy some “best of” content you might have missed the first time around, plus be spared of the technical issues that’s starting to overtake Tumblr.
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Just A Fan P.3 - Chris Evans Fanfic
Pt. 1 // Pt. 2
warnings: none, just FLUFF.
words: 3k (IK it’s A LOT OKAY?!)
summary: You play a legendary heroine from Marvel. Teaming up with some of the world’s greatest superheroes. Chris is infatuated with you, admiring your multitude of roles. The whole cast, today at this panel saw the perfect opportunity to surprise the crowd and Chris with his Hollywood crush.
Previously... “Is she here? Do you… are you insinuating, sorry guys! I’m…just like perspiring, just thinking of this clip.” The audience gave a loud “Aw!” to Chris’ infatuation with the idea that she was actually in the building. ---
How was Chris suppose to know you were just going to pop out of curtains?! Walking across the stage to an empty chair that had been placed on the end near Anthony and Joe while the lights were out. Your walk was so laid back and carefree. Your smile was so warm and friendly to the crowd of almost a thousand adoring fans. Yet, you composition gave off this vibe that you knew them all. Your demeanor to everyone was both soft and influential.
Looking like a goddess in heels, when you waltzed right past him, Chris wished he knew how much of a dope he had looked like during that moment.
When you appeared in the spotlight, his face was caught by the cameras from fans. Those bright rosy cheeks coming close to a blazing fire when the sweet scent of your perfume lingered near him from when you passed him on stage. Those bold base notes from your perfume left a trail that Chris desperately wanted to just get up and follow.
Wild roses, fruity bergamot mixed with the sandalwood from a Santalum tree.
He drank in your figure, probably looking like a creep to the audience. Chris didn’t care, you were a dream to be seen. Your smile, so wide and bright as you laughed at whatever the commentator had asked or stated as you sat down. Chris saw the mouths of fans moving rapidly, but he couldn’t hear anything. The world’s noise was blocked out by the sound of your voice, up and close. The sound of his heart pumping at the twice the speed, which mixture in with your laugh that echoed in his brain.
Then he had to go and fuck it all up.
If Chris had only realized that he still had the damn microphone held up to his lips, he wouldn’t have gotten his whole damn foot stuck in his mouth.
Just two words.
Two words which would become the number one hashtag twitter in just an hour. Two words that caused Tumblr to make a galore of gifs from videos catching him, soon to be, iconic phrase.
“Holy shit...”
“Oh damn! Chris Evans just had a stroke! Seb call a bus ‘cause Evans needs to be defibrillated!” The audience gasped but then broke into laughter, seeing this as some ‘joke’ or ‘prank’ that had been planned all along.
Chris thanked the God’s above for Anthony Mackie, who knew how to get the awkward moments turned into hilarious ones.
This was no joke to Chris, though. His dream of meeting you, talking to you, worshiping you, was thrown in the trash with those two damn words...
‘Oh god, what did I just fucking do?’ Chris scolded himself internally, trying to bury the embarrassment.
Did anyone expect that from a film-franchise icon like Chris Evans? No. That was why it was so easy for you to just laugh it off, trying to avoid the embarrassment from a joke you obviously had missed. You’d already gotten seated in your chair, legs all proper and microphone turned on when the low-toned mumbling from a man came out the speakers.
“Holy shit...”
Your jaw dropped, forming an oval. Whipping your head towards the culprit of the mumbled words. The cast had gone silent now, whispering to each other about something you were missing, again.
Your eyes finally landed on the one and only, Chris Evans. You knew that voice anywhere. Especially when it came out of the speakers, whispering two words so softly it almost took your breath away...
He was just staring at you, like no one else in the world mattered, except you. Confusion was clearly showing on your face because Chris quickly gathered himself together and snapped himself away from your eyes staring at him, bewildered.
“Evans you gotta keep the geek inside ya, Bud! We can’t stop this press conference while you go take a breather backstage!” The audience laughed along with Jeremy. He was referring to the moment before you walked out onto the stage probably. You hadn’t been able to hear the interview at all, so you had no knowledge of anything except the three, very confusing minutes you had been on stage for.
“Let’s get the ball rolling! We have a question for our lovely surprise guest, Y/N! But...obviously, I need to talk about the elephant in the room,”
“Chris’s inability to breath right now?” Sebastian interrupted. The crowd laughed and you couldn’t help but giggle behind your hand as you saw Evans go from a subtle pink to a crimson red.
To be honest, he was so cute being all flustered like that. You could feel the fluttering in your heart when you saw Chris’s nervous face.
“Seb, stahp! Look, I’m just a huge, HUGE fan of yours, Y/N. Sorry!” Chris spoke, leaning forward to find you on the end. Smiling, he waved down to you as the room laughed at his admission of fangirling. The fans must’ve loved it because their screams had doubled in volume ever since he dropped the Holy bomb on you.
You waved back and shook your head, brushing off his apology like it was nothing. They didn’t give you an Oscar for nothing... “It’s okay!” You laughed towards Chris, giving him a warm smile. “I love your work as well Before We Go was beautifully shot and you were spectacular in it.”
Chris tensed up at the thought of you seeing something so personal as his directing debut. For some reason, Chris knew you weren’t bullshitting him. He saw it in your crinkled eyed smile and relaxed posture. He lost all the oxygen in his blood when he realized that you actually loved his work.
You, an Academy Award winner, Four Time Golden Globe Winner, Three-Time Emmy Winner... loved his work.
“Thank you, so much! My god, I can feel myself like blushing, I’m sorry, I’m ruining this whole press conference with my fan...boying?” Chuckling, you shook your head at him.
“Nah, bro. You didn’t ruin it. You made it fun, cause now imma be watchin’ you to see when you starin’ at Y/N. I got you, baby. I got you...” Anthony sent a wink your way, tipping back his head and giving you a sloppy smirk. You just leaned back into your seat, laughing loudly with everyone around you. Even Chris laughed along, secretly prayed inside his heart that the twenty-second conversation you just had with him wouldn’t be the last.
“Okay! They have announced the start of shooting, finally! For Red Heart’s stand alone film, ‘Red Heart: Beginning The Revolution’ !”
The crowd let out a massive roar of applause and excitement. Even Chris, Sebastian, RDJ, Elizabeth, Paul, Tom, Anthony, and Samuel L. Jackson were clapping.
A smile you couldn’t contain for the life of you formed on your lips. Your dimples popped out of your flushed cheeks as they all continuously praised you. You... a small town girl, with a big dream and only her own self to believe in the dreams she had planned for the future. You look in the mirror sometimes and see that girl, she’s just a teenager all alone. No one to talk to except the thin air. No one to sing with except the artists on the radio. You wished that the little girl was smiling back at you, but she never smiled around people back then. She just wanted to live her own life and not be stuck in this day-to-day life that was never meant for her.
That girl is from fifteen years ago, now look you. 32, and already on a director’s minds as they craft films. This really was what living your dream is like... Just utter astonishment for the applause you only heard in your mind.
You had gotten your Masters in Fine Arts seven years ago. You’d two movies during the senior year of college and passing with flying colors. A degree and a chance in acting were your dreams when you were younger. You had surpassed both of those now, and new things for your future came into the light. You wanted to direct, write, and create stories!
Sure, you had internal tantrums and some nights where you talked to your coffee pot in a British accent to amuse yourself while working on some late essays or project, due in four hours. But you ended up with a degree to do the one thing you loved the most, storytelling.
“I think it’s safe to say you’ve started shooting?”
The commentator pointed towards your head that was now the iconic vibrant purple hair.
“Yeah, we began just three days ago. So... almost done!” Your tense body relaxed when you heard the crowd laugh at your soft joke. You weren’t doing so bad!
“Now, you play this new generation character called Red Heart, obviously, but it’s not really so all that new because you’ve been a part of this Marvel revolution from the very start. You starred alongside Robert in Iron Man,”
The crowd erupted in applause and you felt a firm grip on your shoulder. Turning around you saw one of your mentor’s, RDJ, giving you a deep hearted look with a slight grin on his face.
“Then you went on to become a recurring character in the television area of Marvel... how has it been, being this character, for so long. Doing all these films and shows, how has, being Persephone, changed you? If it has in any way?”
"Playing a character for so long takes you into this different state of mind. You aren't the same person anymore because for the better half of a year, eight years straight, you are playing this other human to whom you have to attach yourself with, find out why they are the way they are. You need to represent that person, because of the weight of millions upon millions of fans wishes and opinions, now lie on your shoulders."
"Preach it, girl!" You laughed at Mackie's comment. He was on the other side of the stage so you could barely catch a glimpse of him smirking at his own witty comment.
"I'm just very very passionate about my girl Persey. Sorry, Anthony!" You heard him just chuckle into the microphone and let the commentator carry on.
Even though you were joking with Mackie, you weren’t lying when you said you were passionate about Persey. Because you were, you fucking loved being Persey, and honestly, you owed it all to the MCU fans ho had been pushing Marvel so long to bring your character to life.
They campaigned the shit out of getting Persephone to become a member of the Avengers when they were filming, Age of Ultron. All were extremely disappointed when you were nowhere to be found.
After almost nine years of being in this Universe of Villians and Heroes, you were finally getting a stand-alone film. It was everything you dreamed it to be. You worked with the writers Olivia Perrin and Matthias Fletcher, on making sure Persephone’s warrior spirit and fearless embodiment wasn’t taken away by a love story. Of course, there’s always a love story written in, and Persey’s was the Winter Soldier. Her long gone love who taught her how to live off just a quarter and a box of cereal for months. They loved each other deeply in a small stint of her infiltration of HYDRA. She was the only agent who could ever get past them, of course hiding with a disguise. There she was ordered to find Bucky, and get him out of there, alive. Red Heart fought till she couldn’t anymore in the bloodiest battle HYDRA ever faced on their own. They went searching for her, and so she moved around a lot. Henceforth, meeting these strange, irregular humans like Jessica, Matt Murdock, Iron Fist too. You were caught in the line of fire with Tony Stark when he was sent to test missiles in the middle east. He presumed you were dead when he awoke and they said you had no purpose left. He didn’t know you’d escaped, somehow hiding with a family of six for months until you could promise them safety and shelter while you went and dealt with the aftermath of SHIELD’s destruction. Your story line worked in with so many people, they wanted to make sure the story focused on Red Heart, not the Avengers.
So they started from her beginning in Brooklyn, NY. Telling about how she came about, and how she turned a terrible situation into an empowering one The director Susan Berry, and the executive producers Vanessa, Molly, Oliver, Dan, and Amy, all talked to you about the way she was to be perceived on camera, and how her personality and lifestyle will be played out.
It was one year of shooting, after three years of writing, re-writing, and then finally reconstructing the story of Red Heart. It was so highly anticipated that it led you to become a part of the secret credit scene with Sebastian.
It had been three months since they wrapped when you got a call from Seb. He told you the plans of this surprising scene and you couldn’t say no to him. He’d been a friend for so long after you two both were in The Education of Charlie Banks. Then you just stayed in touch, now look where you both ended up!
You finished a two season-long appearance on Daredevil, also having a much more prominent co-star role in Jessica Jones too. Finally, Red Heart was ready to become a part of the broken down team. Because that was her specialty.
Fixing someones unfixable problems.
"They called me the “tie” of Marvel because Red Heart really just is the bowtie on the Christmas present that is Marvel. She is the only character who has jumped movies to screen to movies again. Kevin Feige was so sweet in making sure that I was a part of every meeting for each movie and show, so... I'm a secret agent spy of Marvel, really. I know all secrets. I am only here today because I will have to take down anyone who dares to share anything!"
The audience laughed along with you. The panel was going so much better than you'd thought it would. Maybe it was your anxiety that got you into tears last night at the petrifying fear of being booed once you walked out on stage. Or falling on stage when walking to your seat. Or looking like you were a greaseball, with a face so shiny they could only see light reflecting off your panicked face.
All of that fear disappeared when you set foot on that stage. The cast was beaming at you, smiling and clapping as you made your way to your seat. Although, one smile, in particular, caught your eye.
The Captains. He wasn't just beaming and clapping, he was radiating a light that you'd never felt someone give off before. It was like he was trying to talk to you through his eyes when they had connected with yours. Just for those few split seconds, you felt time freeze. Your cheeks became flushed with the air suddenly feeling hundred times hotter than it had been only a moment ago. Your body was weighed down with this unbearable gravitational pull. You couldn't stop looking at him. Every time you could catch a glimpse of him, you would. He was breathtaking. Not just in his looks, but in his smile. It was just... so loving. Loving of anything he was smiling at, he radiated love.
A love you felt addicted to after two minutes of meeting him.
Chris had fallen in love from the moment he laid eyes on your faded purple hair. The hair that brought out your deep brown eyes and plump lashes. Your smile was ten times brighter than the light that was beating down on Chris right now.
Snapping out of your own tunnel-vision, you looked towards the voice and smiled, trying to dive back into the whole reason you were up on this stage with the 15 actors who had made this movie.
“Well, we don’t to be asked the age old question; Who would you want to appear in Infinity Wars, for Evans.”
Chris felt a huge grin become plastered on his face when he saw you were trying to hide the blush that had flooded your cheeks when he complimented you. You couldn’t help it! It didn’t matter whether the person was a fan or a handsome stranger, the blood just rushed straight to your cheeks causing them to turn pink.
“Thank you... I, uh... um, thanks. Yeah, it’s just really crazy to be on this panel with these lovely human beings! To be talking to a room of people who care about what I have to say... it may not seem like it when you look from the outside, but sometimes this job is lonely. You feel like your alone in this world, or that the fans didn’t like what your last project was, etc. It’s really surreal to then come on stage and get the reality of your situation shoved in your face. It’s a humbling experience, I’ll say. I’ve never been to a con, both Wizard, and Comic-Con, and not have a damn good time with these beautiful people!” You felt the room clap with hoots and hollers from your speech.
The crowd gave you a sweet awe. You barely saw their faces but from the ones you saw, they were all happy faces. Which made your day all worth it.
The one happy face that really made your day what the sandy haired blonde all the way down the line, who you knew was smiling like a fool while looking at you.
That didn’t bother you in any way. You loved his eyes on you, and you couldn’t wait until the panel was over and the comic-con was finished, so you could properly talk to the blue-eyed man, who sat all the way down on the end.
Still smiling in your direction, like a fool who found his gold.
What do you want to see happen when they finally get to really introduce themselves to each other? Let me know!
a/n: It’s been so long...whoops! Writer’s block got me good. I hope this chapter is okay. I didn’t want to make the story cheesy or predictable. Guess we’ll have to see if I did my job or not! Enjoy my loves - R .xx
*btw, PM me or send me an ask on whether you’d like to be tagged in this fanfic or not!*
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