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seeingivy · 5 months

Text

fine line

actor!eren x f!reader

**part of my method acting series

content warning: mentions of SA, addiction, bad workplace environments, shitty adults - protect your peace my babies

an: one I saved sparks for the next chapter so I don't like give someone a heart attack. and brace yourself pookies. this ended up at 16k. also, lmk if the format is confusing. but any memory that's embedded between dialogue is basically being shown in the video - it just makes more sense for me to write it as a visual

songs mentioned: ever since new york by harry styles, clean by taylor swift, all of the girls you loved before by taylor swift, and fine line by harry styles

previous part linked here

Tell me something, tell me something You don't know nothing, just pretend you do I need something, so tell me something new Choose your words 'cause there's no antidote For this curse Oh, what's it waiting for? Must this hurt you just before you go?

Eren lets the video play for a whole minute before he abruptly reaches for the remote from your hand and stops the film from playing. The song is burning in his ears - the clip of him blowing out the candles at his tenth birthday party searing his eyes - and the increasing, immense pressure that’s been building, ever since you came back to set, comes to a head in that second.

So much so, that he has to stop the video. Like fully, take the remote from your hands and pause the video. And when he realizes what he’s done, looking over to his side and finding your wide eyes staring at him, and he swallows the lump of shame that’s in his throat and makes his best attempts to back track.

He’s already messing this up. Royally.

“Right. I’m sorry, Y/N. Here.” he murmurs, placing the remote back in the space between the two of you, as he nervously interlocks his own fingers within each other.

Eren’s mind is in a hundred places right now. Granted, he’s always been one to be stuck where he shouldn’t be, but the regret is scorching deep through him now.

Maybe he should just tell you straight out. Or take you to Seattle now so that you could all talk about it in person. Or he could have asked Connie to stay, just so that he had some type of moral support instead of your big doe eyes waiting for answers, but-

“Are you okay, Eren?” you ask.

Eren looks over, mustering his best peachy smile, as he shakes his head.

“No. I’m fine! I just…had a muscle spasm…. You can play it, it’s just-”

You squint your eyes in response to his shitty defense, which Eren was expecting, because you were always acutely aware of how Eren was feeling. He was almost convinced that you could read his mind at times, that maybe some part of how he grew up left that part of him underdeveloped, that made him so soulless and unaware when it came to other people.

Or that really, some part of you still understood him in the way you always seemed to be able to. In a way that no one else really had. Because few could bear close to you - Lana and Connie, even Sukuna to some extent - but there was just something about you specifically that saw him exactly how he was.

That you always knew his intentions, that he almost never had to say them to you. He never had to explain that big mess that was going on in his head because you were always filling the gap and settling it down before he could even get it out. Like there was some secret language being spoken between the two of you every time you made eye contact.

He’d figure that this part of the two of you - he had all but demolished it the second he opened his mouth back in Seattle. But it remains whole and intact and is extremely bad for that flaring hopeful feeling that he gets when he’s around you again.

That the two of you could return back to what you were before, in some shape or form.

Eren sighs.

“I’m sorry. I just…got overwhelmed for a second. You can play the video. I-I promise I won’t pause it this time.”

Your eyes soften - and Eren’s heart twinges - as he musters a smile for you.

“Are you okay to be watching this with me? I can always watch it alone, Eren.”

“Yeah, I-”

“I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable…granted, I’m not sure exactly what it is that I’m watching, but if this…makes you anxious than I don’t want to force you to stomach it just for me.”

Eren’s heart twinges. That you’re still the same as he left you, so loving that it’s flowing out of you.

“It’s not just for you. Not that I’d be opposed to doing it but-”

Eren swallows hard.

“I should be here, Y/N.” he murmurs.

“Okay. Well-”

“And you’re watching a movie. A documentary feels like…the wrong word for it? But I guess that’s what it is?” Eren murmurs.

“A documentary?”

Eren swallows hard.

“Do you remember that interview you did? When you became a triple threat?” Eren asks.

You nod.

“This is like if I did the interview. Like songs, album, the whole thing. And if other people were involved. And-”

“Album? You made an album, Eren?” you ask, suddenly excited at the prospect of it.

Eren was never one to push too hard into music, since he felt that his talents clearly resided in acting. The few times that he had written something was because certain things, mainly you, had left him so inspired and your little rambligns and notes had rubbed off on him.

And when he missed you terribly, it seemed that the only thing that seemed to remedy it in some sense was writing songs about it. Granted, Lana almost kicked him out of her house for the sad piano he always seemed to be playing, which she claims wasn’t a good influence, but it made a good backtrack for the movie.

“Yeah, well. You’re quite the inspiration.” Eren respond.

You roll your eyes, lightly reaching over to shove his shoulder. Except he grabs your hand right before you can, his eyes fixed on his hand all but engulfing yours.

“I’m being serious. You-you’re the only reason that I wanted to do this. That I was able to.” Eren whispers.

You tilt your head to the side.

“You’ve always been like this. So…adamant on the side of talking about things. About not holding it in. I remember when you did the whole “The Man” thing with Historia you literally had me scared shitless. That people were going to put your head on a stick and start coming for you.”

“I remember. But they didn’t and-”

“And then you did the same thing with Lana. About Ricky - and you don’t even know the half of it when it comes to that guy. You’ve proven it to me time and time again. That maybe…talking things out is the best way to do it. And granted, I’ve taken so long to get to that point but I-”

“It’s okay. I just-”

“It’s not okay. I want you to know that I don’t think what I did was right in any way. I literally made the wrong decision at every turn, and hurt you because of it, and I’m so sorry that I did because you have to know that you mean-”

Eren freezes, as you wrestle your hand out of his, and place both of your hands firmly on his shoulders.

“Eren. Just…stop panic explaining. Let me listen first.” you murmur.

“I know. Sorry, you’re right, I just-”

“Don’t apologize. I’m sure this is nerve wracking in ways that I can’t understand.” you respond.

“You’ve always understood me.” Eren murmurs, immediately regretting it the second it leaves his mouth.

Eren watches as you smile at him, soft and all the way up to your eyes, as you let go and reach for the remote. You give him a nod as you unpause the video again to a clip of Eren.

At his tenth birthday, blowing out the candles, while he sings in the background.

Oh, tell me something I don't already know Oh, tell me something I don't already know Oh, tell me something I don't already know Oh, tell me something I don't already know

The video starts the last place you expect it. With Zeke sitting in front of the camera, hand knotted together in the same way you’ve seen Eren’s a hundred times, as he retells the story of the day his grandmother passed away when Eren was eleven and Zeke was seventeen.

After forty-five minutes, Eren has definitively decided that he hates hospital. The anti-septic smell seems to bite at his nose, the receptionist keeps eyeing them awkwardly over the top of her desk trying to pinpoint where it is that she knows him from, and his parents and Zeke are uncharacteristically silent.

Eren reaches for Zeke’s wrist, which Zeke welcomes with a smile, as they both nervously eye their parents at their side. Eren’s not entirely sure why - since to his understanding, his grandmother is still alive for right now - but his mom has been crying for a better half of the past day, while his dad holds down the fort and does his best efforts to keep it together. Eren appreciates the small smiles that he spares for the two of them every now and then, as they all sit quietly in the waiting room.

Zeke taps Eren on the shoulder, gesturing for him to follow him for a walk, which Eren is all but happy to oblige in, as the two of them quietly make their way down the ward.

“Where are we going?”

“Cookies. They have them out for New Year’s Day, Eren.” Zeke responds, looking down to give him a smile.

Eren frowns, forgetting that the start of the new year was so close, as they walk into the little aisle. The room is decorated with hanging lights, left over from Christmas, as the two of them sit on the chairs and split the hard, crumbly cookies between the two of them.

“Is grandma going to die or something?” Eren asks, swinging his legs off the tops of the tall chair as he leans back.

“I don’t know, Eren. Maybe.” Zeke responds, swallowing hard.

“Oh.”

“There’s no need to be sad about it before it happens. But Dad told me earlier, it would probably be today or tomorrow so…you should be aware of that.” Zeke states.

Eren frowns. And Zeke recoils, at his rather blunt way of telling Eren the harsh news.

“He didn’t tell me that.” Eren states.

“Well, you’re younger, Eren.” Zeke responds.

“That doesn’t mean I didn’t deserve to know.”

Zeke brings his hand down on Eren’s hair, ruffling with it as he looks out the window.

“That’s why I told you, kid.”

Eren sighs.

“Thanks.”

Zeke shakes his head, as he gestures for Eren to join him at looking outside. The hospital workers are taking down the tree outside, as the two of them rest their windows against the sill and watch the snow fall down.

“Can we have hot chocolate when we go home?” Eren asks.

“You’re old enough to make your own hot chocolate, Eren.” Zeke deadpans.

“But you just make it so much better. Plus, don’t you want to be a good older brother?” Eren asks, giving him his best peachy smile.

“I am a good older brother.”

“You know what would make you even better?”

Zeke rolls his eyes.

“Hot chocolate?”

Eren fakes a gasp.

“It’s like you’re reading my mind! That’s a great idea, Zeke.” Eren responds.

Zeke shoves Eren as the two of them laugh, reaching for another one of the hardened cookies on the platter. And that’s when they’re met with the flash of the camera and three paparazzi standing right behind them. Zeke turns around, entirely confused, as they shove the microphone into his face.

“Zeke. Are do you have any comments on the rumors that you’re a drug dealer?”

“The rumors that I’m what?” Zeke asks.

Eren looks up at Zeke, entirely floored by the question, as the bright lights shine in his face a few more times. Zeke’s standing in front of him, basically obscuring his line of vision, as he watches the confusion spread on Zeke’s face and the way his jaw is tightly held against his skull.

“A drug dealer. Through the funds in your back accounts?”

“That’s not what I used them for. I used them for-”

Eren watches Zeke’s face pale, as he grabs Eren’s hand tightly by the wrist and runs back into the waiting room where their parents are sitting. Except when they reach that spot, the doctor they’d seen hours prior is standing there with them, uttering the last words that Zeke could possibly want to hear at this moment.

“We’re so sorry for your loss but-”

And he’s cut off abruptly, by the paparazzi, who continue to flash more pictures as the Eren takes in the words, his parents crying demeanor, and understands in full that his grandmother is gone. And looks up at Zeke, unable to recognize his older brother for the first time. So meek, so awkward unlike he’s ever seen him.

The video cuts off of the pictures of the four of them - of their pink faces and teary eyes in that waiting room - and back to Zeke, as he continues to explain.

“That was the first time that the rumor had come to the surface, reached me in full. I later found out that there had been multiple reports of it for three days prior, that people had been speculating for days and days, and chose to finally ask me what I had thought when I was in the most headline worthy position. A few feet away from my dead grandmother. And my beloved little brother.” Zeke adds.

You feel Eren shift next you as the video switches, this time to Sukuna. You smile, not having seen him or heard of him in so long, sparing a good thought from the writhing in your chest at the previous story. The mere presence of him, of his voice, makes your chest rumble.

“My name is Ryomen Sukuna. And I met Scott Clarkson for the first time when I was fifteen.”

Sukuna tries his best to not be jealous of his brother. He’s always hated that sick, rotting feeling in his stomach, and he despises that it comes up so unexpectedly, something so negative towards someone who is so unwholly undeserving of it.

Sukuna always thought it was quite ironic that the two of them were siblings. They were such polar opposites - Yuuji being the picture-perfect, kind, intelligent person that he was. Being those things, so good, it just came so naturally to him that he made it look effortless.

Meanwhile, Sukuna wasn’t quite sure why he acted the way he did sometimes. Sukuna knew that he wasn’t a malicious or evil person, that deep down his intentions were always well meaning, but there was a small part of him that had always struggled with that part. He knew that he wasn’t a visicous dog, but he wasn’t sure why he bit.

It was just so hard for Sukuna. Being kind. Effortlessly kind, compassionate, and warm. He’d always say too much, be too loud, or too rude or impolite that it made it made him feel like some part of him was defective. That unbeknownst to other people, who just assumed that Sukuna was just like this, that he was hateful at heart, there was always a withstanding weight of guilt that he held with him wherever he went.

Until he saw an opening. At one of those god awful, stupid networking events that he was always forced to go to.

“Are you Ryomen Sukuna?”

He looks up to find an adult, mid-forties, looking down at him. He’s wearing a nice, pressed down suit as he joins Sukuna on the floor, where he’s been demolisihing the cookie he was given into a crumbled up, chocolate mess.

“Yes. Who are you?”

“My name is Scott Clarkson. I’m a producer for Stone Studios. It’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too.”

Sukuna falls into silence, as he tries his best to awkwardly shuffle his mess to the side and be as professional as he could.

“You have a brother, correct?” Scott asks.

Sukuna sighs, knowing all too well what’s coming next.

“Yes, that’s right. He’s over there, standing with the tall, black-haired kid. Kinda sea urchin-y if you ask me.” Sukuna responds, pointing over to the two of them standing by the lemonade.

Scott shrugs, crossing his hands together in his lap.

“Tell me about his work ethic.” Scott asks.

“Well, he’s great. He’s basically the best person to be around - I mean he’s intelligent, smart, and talented. There’s a reason that he’s in almost every movie that you see. And on top of that, he’s extremely patient and kind too. You’d be lucky to work with him, if that’s what you’re considering.”

Scott looks over at him, eyes narrowed.

“That’s your mistake, kid.” Scott states, the look in his eyes cold.

“What do you mean?”

“You should be marketing yourself. Not your brother.” Scott asks.

Sukuna turns his head to the side, confused.

“What? But you asked?”

“That’s the thing. Even if someone asks about him, you should always divert the attention. To yourself. Granted, this is the reason that he’s the one who just starred in a movie while you’re waiting during the Jujutsu Kaisen hiatus.”

Sukuna frowns, an acidic feeling crawling down the length of his throat.

“Well-”

“I’m just saying, kid. You should learn to advocate for yourself. There’s nothing wrong with pushing a few people around, because that’s kind of what this industry requires. You’ve got guts and talent, more than you’re wish washy brother I’m sure of it. I mean, the whole good boy bad boy thing has worked well for you so far, but if you want any chops at a real career, with people like I’ve worked with, you’ll have to solidify on these types of things.” Scott states.

Sukuna looks straight across at the movie poster splayed on the wall. With “Institute Award Winning” and “Scott Clarkson” inscribed in it at the bottom.

“Granted, you’re just a kid. You need someone to give you this kind of advice, an adult who knows their way around the industry. If you ever need my help, you know who to call. I could give you any type of role. Even one as the lead, as the hero, if you ever wanted it.” Scott states, sliding a silver business card into his hands and shuffling off the floor to walk away.

The video cuts back to Sukuna, cracking his fingers as he talks - something you know well is a nervous tick of his.

“The conversation seems quite ironic in hindsight. Scott Clarkson was the first adult in my life, one of many, that didn’t have my best interests at mind. And is most surely the last person you should take advice from.” Sukuna states.

The video switches to Lana - and your heart clenches again, maybe even more than it did for Sukuna - at her long, brown hair and warm, pink cheeks smiling into the camera. You notice that she has a tattoo inscribed on her forearm now, a tiny little teddy bear just above the crease of her elbow, where you and Eren have your fish tattoos.

“I’ve dreamt about being in love since I was a little kid. There was a part of me, that yearned so hard, wanted it so bad, that I would do anything for it. Even convince myself it was real.”

Lana was convinced, for a fact, that because she had seen the worst of the worst, that she could only be subjected to the best of the best.

That she had been so acutely aware, known from such a young age, all the signs of a terrible marriage, a loveless relationship. That you should always thank each other for the small actions, make time to see each other at least once a day, and that a true, earnest relationship takes honest work. Real effort.

And she wasn’t exactly religious per say. But after the night had settled down, the screaming behind her door ceasing in full, she’d lift her head to the sky and whisper it into the air. Because if she put it out there, every night, and wanted it really badly, that it would happen. That manifestation or some higher power or some law of attraction - that saw that she had been through the bad so she deserved the good - would hear her out.

And when she was nineteen years old staring at the two little lines on the pregnancy stick, she realized that no such thing existed. That manifestation was made up, that the higher powers didn’t exist or they hated her, or that maybe she had done something really horrible, so malicious, that she had to be tortured in this life for what she had done in the previous.

Because, of course, she’s pregnant with the last person she’d ever want her kid to have as a father.

There’s an incessant pounding on the door, as she wipes the tears off of her face, and hides the stick in the bowl of the toilet.

“What the fuck is taking you so long, Lana?”

“Nothing, Ricky. I think I might have a stomach bug or something.” she responds, swinging the door open to his unamused face.

He looks up at her, almost sneering, before glancing at her up and down. He returns to aimlessly scrolling on his phone, before talking again.

“Well, you’re still well enough to go out tonight, right? Because I don’t want to go to the bar alone.”

Lana swallows hard, debating her options.

“Um, well-”

“Because I could easily take someone else.” Ricky states.

“No! I’ll come, it’s just that-”

“Perfect! You’re the best.” Ricky states, pressing a kiss to her cheek before padding out of the room.

The video switches again, this time to Connie, slightly blurry through the tears in your eyes. You only realize you were crying because Eren’s hands are quick to swipe the tears away and hold a tissue out for you at your side.. You’re not sure what caused it exactly - the thought of Ricky or of Lana so scared alone in that bathroom by herself - but Eren keeps his hand on your shoulder, grounding you into the moment to focus on what Connie was saying.

“When I was a kid, my mom used to kind of parrot the same stories about me as a kid to every person that she knew. I always used to make fun of her for it, claim that she harped on those four or five stories so hard because she couldn’t remember anything else substantial from my childhood, which was why she felt the need to always tell those embarrassing stories about me.”

Connie breaks a smile, it reaching all the way to the crinkles in his eyes, as he continues.

“But there’s one story that she told, that always used to make me a little bit happy. My heart a little warm, if you will. My mom always proudly recounted, with her hand placed over her heart, that I was the happiest baby. That my doctor had mentioned to her that it was very rare for him to see babies who smiled, so quick in their first day of life, but I had done it when he walked into the room. And since then, my mom has always lovingly called me her smiley boy.” Connie states.

Connie drops his smile, before swallowing hard.

“Which is how I know that I wholeheartedly broke her heart when she came to see me in rehab.”

At the one month mark of being there, Connie was slowly but surely acclimating to the life in the rehab ward. The set routine of the place, the small activities that they did in groups, were quickly starting to grow on Connie and the physical effects of his body fighting against him lessening more every day.

Today was a big achievement for him. He had finally made it through his first night of soundless sleep. And he was looking forward to today, which was Friday, meaning that Eren and possibly Lana would be visiting him. And they’d be so excited, so happy that it was working for him, that he wanted to tell him the second that he got there.

So when the clock hit two o’clock, he excitedly walked in the visiting room to find Eren sitting there, with his steaming bowl of ramen that Eren had promised he would bring him next time. Connie finally understood why you fell in love with him all of those years ago. He’d marry Eren too if it meant he would cook for him all the time.

“Hey Connie.” Eren states, sliding the bowl over to him.

“Eren Bear-en. Where’s Lana?” he asks.

“Right. She’s here. In the waiting room.” Eren states.

“What the hell is she doing out there? Laying eggs?” Connie asks, splitting the chopsticks in his hand as he opens up the bowl.

“Yes, actually. The kitchen came by and told her they were short.”

“Don’t even joke about that because those bitches are crazy. I asked for an extra Jello and from the looks they gave me you’d think I was asking to be their…sperm donor or something.”

Eren snickers, before getting an intense look from the guards on the wall for disrupting the silence, and looking back at Connie.

“No. No, she’s actually keeping your mom some company.”

Connie pales.

“My mom is here?” he states, his voice grating in his throat.

“Yeah, Connie. She doesn’t want to push and-and- she’s more than willing to go home if you’re not ready to see her yet, man. She just really insisted and she means so well that we just brought her along.” Eren states.

“Have you been talking to her?” Connie asks.

“Oh, yeah. She called us almost two days after you got here. We let her know what was happening and she comes by the house a lot. She asks about you the second we get back.” Eren responds.

“Really?” Connie asks, warm tears filling his eyes. Of agonizing, burning regret.

“Really. She’s been waiting till you seemed better, that you were ready to see her. And you don’t have to worry that she’s judging you or upset with you, man. She feels the same as Lana and I do, you- she shouldn’t be a reason for your stress. Or guilt.” Eren adds, emphasizing it as hard as he can so as to convince Connie to at least let her through.

Connie pauses, the thoughts swimming to his mind. The overwhelming regret, that his mom has suffered all the way to meet him here, that she was ready to be at his side, the same way Eren and Lana had. He’s almost grateful that she hadn’t seen him at the worst of it - that he hadn’t shouted choice words at her like he had at Eren and Lana and you - but the embarrassment of having to recount all of that to her was daunting.

But the thought of seeing her again, hearing that she was out there waiting with that heathen Lana, warmed that deep seated love for her in his stomach. That was yearning to see her, to tell her what had happened to him too.

The latter feeling beat out the former one. Which is why he let Eren bring her in with Lana, as she took a cautious seat at his side and Lana slid into the one next to Eren.

“Hi Connie Bear!” Lana states, reaching over to squeeze his hands.

“Hi Lana Bear.” he respond, lifting his hand to do his little hand shake with Lana, which always earns him an eye roll from Eren.

“Bear?” Connie’s mom asks, tilting her head to the side.

“Ah. It’s just a little joke that we have. Eren Bear-en started it.” Connie states, giving him mom a smirk.

His mom smiles, looping her arm through Connie’s, as she lightly laughs into the quiet air.

“Funny. So what would I be?”

“Mama Bear. Obviously.” Connie states.

She pauses, pressing her hand to Connie’s shoulder.

“How are you, Connie? Really?”

Connie smiles, leaning forward on the table and nervously fidgeting with his fingers.

“I have some good news actually. For all of you.” Connie responds.

“What’s that?” Eren asks.

“I know that it doesn’t seem like a big deal and all and that people do it all the time but…today was the first night that I slept all the way through without waking up in the past month. In the past year actually.”

Lana and Eren’s eyes immediately light up, which has Connie smiling, as the two of them run over to the side of his table and wrap his arms around him. His mom’s looped into his side, the three of them crushing him in the warmest, softest hug known to man.

“Connie! We’re- fuck. I’m literally crying. I’m so happy for you, kid.” Lana states, reaching forward to pinch the softness on his cheek.

“Okay, you sap. It’s not all that.” Connie responds.

“No but it literally is, Connie. This is huge.” Eren responds, squeezing his shoulder hard.

Connie turns to his mom noticing that she’s been trying her best efforts to quiet her sobs. Connie places a hand on her shoulder, burning with regret, at her downtrodden face.

“Mom?”

“Oh, Connie. My sweet, smiley boy. I’m so happy for you.”

It’s enough to break his resolve, one that he’s been keeping together since he realized that he had all but gone through Jean and Mikasa’s engagement high. And cries straight into her arms, with Lana and Eren across from him, lightly tapping his feet under the table in support.

The video switches, this time to Eren, as you prepare yourself for whatever you’re about to hear next. Because if the previous four were gut punches, you know for a fact that whatever Eren is about to say is going to ruin you.

“Being in love is a privilege.”

You take a sharp inhale.

“There’s something so strange about it, when you think about it. That there can be two people, who share those feelings at the same time. That they overcame something, deeper than rejection or fear, because the feelings were so big, they were so great, that they just had to. And that the person, they really and truly reciprocated it.”

Eren smiles, so wide that his dimples are showing.

“It’s a privilege to be in love. But it’s an even bigger one to be in love, to be loved, by someone like Y/N L/N.”

Eren and Jean, with their ears all but pressed to the door, hear the three knocks and wrestle over each other to open the door. You’re standing there, sheepish and meek as you look down the hall, and Eren reaches for your bag on the floor. Jean gives the two of you a salute, which you laugh at, and which consequently has Eren smacking his hand over your mouth for, as the two of you quickly switch spots.

WIth Jean in your room and you in his. Eren quickly shuts the door, setting your stuff down, as you two give each other excited smiles.

“That was super sneaky, Eren. Like Bond level.”

Eren rolls his eyes.

“Right. The two feet in between our doors was so treacherous.”

You smack his shoulder.

“Okay, bitch. You know nothing of my perilous travels. The floorboard creaked. I could hear Levi rustling in his sheets, I swear to god.”

Eren drags your stuff into the room, as he places your bag on the bed.

“What do you have in here? Your entire closet? Why is this so heavy?”

“Well, I had to bring my night time skincare. And my morning skincare. And sometimes I get snacky at night…and my blanket obviously. And my shampoos. Those are non-negoitable.” you respond.

“Well we can’t have you getting split ends now!” Eren responds, sarcastically.

“Don’t even sass me right now because I could go bald without that shampoo.”

“And I have a blanket.”

You scoff.

“I don’t want your cooties, stinky.”

“I don’t have cooties. And mind you, you have to kiss me in a few weeks. My cooties are going to be all up in your face, Y/N.” Eren responds.

“That sounds gross, Eren. Like you’re purposely infecting me with your disease.”

“I’m not infecting you with anything! I don’t even have cooties, you idiot!”

You feign hurt, frowning at him, as you fight the urge to laugh and muster the most important performance of your life yet.

“Eren?” you whisper.

“What?” he asks, confused.

“Do you really think I’m an idiot?” you murmur.

You watch Eren’s eyes go wide, almost frazzled, as he reaches forward and cups the side of your cheek, the look in his eyes so painful that you immediately feel bad.

“Y/N. Of course, I don’t think you’re an idiot. You’re like…the smartest person I know. Really.”

“Eren-”

“I’m so sorry I said that. I was just kidding, but that was a really stupid joke to make. I haven’t and won’t ever think that about you. Or say it again. You’re so-”

“Eren.”

“And I swear, I’m not going to say anything like that ever again. I know how shitty it can be, especially coming from a guy, and you’re working so hard to be here, more than anyone else, even though your basically the best one and-”

“Eren, oh my gosh, you’re so sweet. I was just kidding, I didn’t mean to make you so upset.” you respond, frowning at him as he looks at you, shoulders relaxing under his touch.

His cheeks are dusted a warm pink, the color trickling down the length of his neck.

“Oh. Wait, really?”

“I was just trying to see what you would say. I wasn’t expecting that and now I feel really, really bad. I’m sorry, Eren.”

Eren sighs, laughing as he reaches forward to pinch your cheek.

“You’re evil, you know that?”

“I didn’t mean it!” you whine, covering your eyes in embarrassment.

“You put that stupid little cute frown on your face and make those sad eyes at me and just expect me to keep fighting with you?”

“Well, yeah! Jean and Connie would fight with me for the rest of their life if they could.”

Eren reaches forward, pinching your cheek once more.

“That’s your mistake.”

“What is?”

“Thinking that you and I are the same as you and Connie. Or you and Jean.”

You feel your cheeks burn, as you nod, reaching for your bag and heading straight into the bathroom to arrange everything on the counter. You start your nightly routine, braiding your hair and placing the little foam headband in your hair as you start to massage all the cleansers and serums into your skin.

Eren pads in after a few minutes, reaching for his toothbrush, as the two of you move around each other in silence. Eren can’t help but watch you in the mirror - with all your little bottles and sweet smelling lotions, so focused as you go about it - that he can’t help but think that he could watch you forever.

“Eren?”

Eren immediately breaks out of his almost trance, spitting into the sink.

“Yeah?”

“You should wear this while you brush your teeth. It’ll keep your hair out of the way.” you respond, handing him a little blue foam headband just like your pink one.

“Huh?”

“Well, your hairs getting kind of long. And Levi told me that he actually wants it even longer for next season a few months ago, so I ordered you one too when I got mine. I keep forgetting to give it to you.” you respond, placing it front of him.

Eren lifts it in his hands, utterly touched at the fact that you had thought of him.

“You- you got this for me?”

“Well, yeah. I kept getting my bangs wet whenever I washed my face. And you basically look like a shaggy dog with that hair so I knew for a fact that you’d need one too. I’m basically the best friend ever if you think about it.” you respond, giving him a peachy smiile.

“You are.”

The video cuts back to Eren, a soft smile on his face as he talks.

“People will take advantage of anything, in the name of business. It’s an easy way in once you find out how to manipulate someone, to make them do things that they would never do normally, to get the exact image that you want. The one that makes headlines, stirs up controversy, to get you trending.”

“You find out that things function very specifically when you work at Stone Studios. And that Scott Clarkson, and his associates, make money from every aspect of the production. He makes money from the movies that he produces and more importantly, from the tabloid company that he owns.” Sukuna starts.

Sukuna sighs, as the pictures flash on the screen.

“Certain things are…manufactured or at least the people doing them are coerced into doing things that are lucrative. Like doctoring drama around certain movies, so that by the time the movie comes out, the drama surrounding it will drive everyone to watch it. Around relationships - because rumors regarding ex-boyfriends and problems between friends create headlines that everyone will click.”

Sukuna’s furious. And when Hyla walks in the room - the three weeks he’s been holding onto his anger - come to a head.

“Who did you tell?” Sukuna asks.

She looks up at him, eyes wide in confusion, as she slouches straight into the bed and continues to scroll on her phone. He joins at her side, reaching for her phone and putting it to the side.

“I’m being serious. Who did you tell?” he asks.

She looks up at him, her expression bordering between bored and oblivious.

“Who did I tell about what?”

Sukuna sighs. Because deep down, that deep rot of feeling betrayed has been gnawing at his stomach for the past few hours. And he wants everything in him, every part of him to believe that the conversation that he had a few days ago - the first real one he’d had in a while - wasn’t just spread all over every magazine he walked past on the way home.

“The conversation we had. About…”

She rolls her eyes, sitting up as she crossed her legs.

“About what? We talk about a lot of things.” she murmurs.

“Yuuji…” he responds.

“Oh! About how you hate him?” she asks.

Sukuan sighs, frustrationg growing up at the premise. At the callousness in her statement. Because not only did she put up a front in the conversation they had - about how guilty Sukuna felt about harboring some negative feelings towards Yuuji since they were always in constant competition - but she was surely the one who must have whispered the story to someone who had given it to a tabloid.

“I don’t hate him, Hyla.”

“No, no I get it. You’re like jealous of him and stuff because he gets all these versatile roles and you basically keep getting the same asshole role. But that’s not your fault, it’s just how it goes.” she responds, shrugging.

He clenches his jaw.

“I get that. I just don’t get why you had to tell someone else.”

“Well, I just told my dad. And you know how he is. If there’s something that’s going to be good for the business, he’s always been the kind of guy to go for it and do what needs to be done.”

“What the hell is so lucrative about my relationship with my brother? We’re filming a fucking movie.”

She sighs, cracking her knucles before she turns to him.

“Okay, fine. I’ll tell you a secret, but only if you promise to stop being mad at me.”

“Well, I’m not just going to stop being mad at you. I’ve never told anyone that. Let alone my own brother, whose probably finding out about it from a fucking tabloid right now. I’ve never been one - nor am I ever going to be - someone who steps on their own family members to make it in this fucking business.” he states.

“Yeah, yeah. I know. Family is everything to you and I get that.”

He sighs, sliding open his phone to the five unread messages from Yuuji on his screen. There a set of pictures of him in front of the headlines at the store and he’s quite literally laughing at the fact that someone could even come up with something so stupid about him.

Because despite it all, Yuuji is exactly what Sukuna says he is. He is the better brother - by tenfold - because he sees the rumors and doesn’t even believe them the second he reads them. Even through they’re true.

“See. He’s such a good guy, he’s not even mad! No harm done!” Hyla states, smiling to herself.

Sukuna leans back against the headboard, fully bothered, so much so that it makes his skin itch, by Yuuji’s texts as he halfheartedly murmurs.

“What were you going to say? Earlier?”

“Oh. Well don’t tell anyone. Especially not the girls okay, because they’d basically kill me. But you know WBS? The tabloid company?” she asks.

“Yeah…”

“My dad owns it. That was actually his original venture. He started it with these two music producers - Danny and Sareen - they work with that Y/N girl from Attack on Titan actually. And sometimes they just kind of….fabricate stuff for news. Whatever sells right?”

Sukuna swallows that bitter, acidic feeling in his throat. That his feelings about his brother, that he shared in confidence, were good enough for the headline.

Good enough to be sold out.

The camera switches back to Sukuna, sitting in the chair.

“I feel kind of stupid in hindsight. For actually liking her, I guess. For believing that any of them were real, earnest people. I’m embarrassed that I stayed for so long, on the premise that I was fighting for something real.” Sukuan states.

“What made you leave?” the producer asks.

“The last shred of self-preservationist instinct I had. I was put into a situation, multiple times, where I felt unsafe. And when it went too far, I decided that I had enough. And that I was going to go out with a bang if I had to. If they want a headline, I’ll damn well give them one.” Sukuna states, smirking.

“You felt unsafe?” the producer clarifies.

“Look. I don’t need to rehash the details out of what happened. I’m sure that you could even find videos of it if you wanted to. But Scott Clarkson, he’s very quick to forget the fact that he’s working with children. I may play adults in my films, but I was very much still a child.”

You pale, the implication entirely clear. You look over at Eren, whose eyes are fixed towards the floor, as you wipe the tears from your eyes, as the video switches back to Eren and Lana who are seated at the table.

“When Levi and Hange ventured out on their own and decided to produce their own show, they ruffled lots of feathers. That’s something I overheard on set quite often before Eren ever started on the show. They were mad, essentially, that they had circumvented the whole producing aspect of it, choosing to be in control of every aspect of the production. And honestly, that they were successful with it.”

“Levi and Hange basically set a standard, especially for other people who were at their class the SWHA cohort. Jujutsu Kaisen basically followed suit short after - with almost all of the people in our class being funneled into either of those two shows. Which was aggravating, because it basically means that people who own the companies, like Scott Clarkson, don’t get their upcoming crop of stars to handpick form.” Eren states.

“Unfortunately for us, that didn’t really quite stop them. It started out with a simple fact - that Scott Clarkson knew for a fact that Eren would refuse to work with him.” Lana states.

“The first time I met Scott Clarkson he had rubbed me the wrong way. Because he refused to acknowledge that Y/N was standing right at my side.” Eren responds.

Eren was painfully aware of the fact of how uncomfortable you were. He wasn’t exactly sure what it was - maybe the fact that you had never been here before or that you didn’t quite know anyone like he did from growing up with them - but he figured that it would be a better idea for the two of you to go outside.

But before he could, a man stops him, tapping him on the shoulder to talk to him. You both stop in your tracks, half turning around, to look at him. He’s extremely tall, looming over the two of you, and Eren can feel you shrink at his side. He looks at Eren, a self-assured smile pressed on his face as he introduces himself.

“Scott Clarkson. I’m a producer for Stone Studios.”

“I’m Eren Jaeger. This is-”

“I know who you are, Eren. I was invited to see one of the first cuts of the latest movie you just filmed and-”

Before he can even understand what’s happening, he has his hand on Eren’s shoulder and they’re walking down the length of the hall, the end of their conversation lost to you. Eren looks back and you give him a halfhearted smile as he tries to turn back, before getting stuck in a larger group of people.

“Do you have any projects lined up for your Attack on Titan hiatus?” Scott asks.

“Yeah. Sukuna and I are filming the next Conjuring movie. Though if you’re looking for someone, my friend Y/N-”

“No need. We’re here to talk about you.”

Eren rolls his eyes.

“I already have a roll. And she doesn’t. And you know how big she’s going to be - she can even sing!” Eren states.

Scott sighs.

“There’s a reason that I’m standing here talking to you. I’m well seasoned in these type of things - just like your parents. I promise you, with a breakout show like that, only one person can come out as the star. Don’t you want to make sure that it’s going to be you?”

“Levi and Hange made it out together. I don’t know why we couldn’t do the same.” Eren responds.

Luckily enough for him, his parents had arrived just at that moment and given him his much needed chance to run away.

“I wasn’t going to sell out that fast. Especially for someone who was so quick to bad mouth my best friend, who was basically the only person that I got to consistently talk to and be with at the time, I….”

“Eren’s very loyal. Let’s just leave it at that. And it’s precisely just because of that loyalty, especially to Hange and Levi who had thrown a wrench in every one of his profits, that they wanted Eren specifically. He has every makings of one of his stars. He has famous parents, an estranged brother, and a girl that can be thrown at the end of every headline.” Lana adds.

Eren sighs.

“The Attack on Titan hiatus was the perfect chance for them to get what they wanted. On one side, Danny and Sareen were building Y/N up. They were pushing her into making albums, way faster than she should have been by the way, adding more and more accolades to her name. And on the other side, they were dragging me into the mud. Purposely switching my movies at the last minute to make sure I was on the shitty one, making award show annoucers make crappy jokes about me so I’d feel like shit.” Eren responds.

The video switches to the last award show that you and Eren had technically attended together. The one where you announced that you were coming out with your second studio album and where you had won Actress in a Lead Role. Except, the video isn’t how you remembered it. Or that this time, you’re actually aware of what had been going on in Eren’s head.

“Here we have an international pop-star, Y/N L/N. Originally a small town girl from Canada, her soft spoken love songs, phenomenal acting, and insane dance act have left no heart untouched.” the announcer states.

Eren looks over at you in the video, his eyes so warm and his smile so wide, as he looks at you proudly.

“And you. What’s your name again? It’s sweet they let fans sit with stars now.” the headliner asks him, eliciting a large amount of laughter from the crowd as he walks on.

That’s when you see it. That Eren’s face immediately dropped and was washed over in shame. And that he got up and walked away.

And more importantly, that you hadn’t followed.

“I later found out that joke was very deliberate. That announcer was told to make that joke about me because they were almost positive that I would leave. And when Y/N won the award - and I was moping in one of the lounges about how much of a failure I was, how she was going to leave me for someone better - Scott Clarkson approached me. In the same way that he had approached Sukuna. Promising me that he could make me a star. That I could meet Y/N where she was and be next to her too.” Eren states.

“It was pretty easy to guess how the rest went. Y/N and Eren being in a relationship wasn’t exactly headline worthy, when they had been basically attached at the hip for years. But you know what was? The two of them breaking up.”

“I obviously can’t speak for Y/N. I don’t know what was going through her head at that point. But from what she made it seem like….Danny and Sareen had asked her to do it. I know that they had asked her to write songs like London Boy and most of the songs on her album for that precise reason, it….doesn’t seem far off.” Eren states.

“It seems stupid in hindsight. To take someone’s advice at the surface level like that and so blindly believe in them. But when you think of the examples that Eren and Y/N really had, people like Levi and Hange who wanted nothing but the best for them, who basically loved them like they were a second set of parents, it’s hard to believe that everyone around you doesn’t really have your best interest in mind. That and the fact that they were fucking nineteen.” Lana adds.

“And that’s when we get to the Girlfriend incident. And more importantly, the day that Lana and I became friends.” Eren states, looking over to smile at her.

Eren had locked the door, and pushed everyone out of the room the second they had stopped watching that stupid music video hours ago. And after the fact, he’s watched it three more times - you and Ricky dancing through the street and smiling at each other - while all he can do is drown in his despair.

That is until he hears a soft sniffling in the hallway behind him and a hushed voice talking on the phone in the doorway. He presses his ear the door, the voice loud, as he catches the ends of the conversation, recognizing that it was Lana.

“Can you just stay with him for a few more hours, please? I don’t think that I can leave.”

“Please. I want to come home really badly too, but they’re already so upset with me after what I said last night that I just-”

“Thank you so much. I really love you, you know that?”

The phone call ends abruptly and Eren, letting his curiosity get the best of them, opens the door to find Lana sitting flat against the wall, with her head in her hands. He can tell that she must have been crying for a better part of the last hour, her hair all unruly and tangled in a way that he had never really seen it before.

Eren shuffles into the spot next to her, against the wall, as he wipes his own red eyes.

“Are you okay?” Eren asks.

“Why? Trying to rub it in my face?” Lana asks, rather miserably.

“No. I just…heard you on the phone.” Eren asks.

Her eyes go wide, as she looks over at him rather frantically.

“What did you hear?” she asks.

“I mean, basically nothing.” Eren murmurs.

The two of them sit there awkwardly, unsure of what to say to the other. That’s until Lana turns to him, a determined look on her face as she talks.

“Are you trying to make me feel shitty because I did it to you?” Lana asks.

“No. I’m not you, Lana.” Eren deadpans.

“I didn’t mean-

“Didn’t mean what? To make me look like a dumbass on stage? Just tell me what the hell is wrong if you’re going to talk so loudly outside of my door.” Eren mutters, irritated.

“Okay. We’re going to play a game, alright? Let’s pretend we’re different people.” Lana states.

“What?”

“I want to talk about something and I’m sure you do too, but it’s weird to do it like this. So we’ll pretend. I’m going to be La-La and you’re going to be Po.” she states.

“Like the Telletubbies….?”

“Yeah. Does that work? You can’t say anything to anyone, because….well that would just be fucking rude.”

“Okay.”

“Okay, Po. The thing is, I feel really bad. I did this really shitty thing to this guy who seems really nice and all. Except, I was standing on stage and they kind of asked me to do it right then and there so I kind of just went with it.”

Oh. Eren gets it. This is her weird way of apologizing.

“Well, why did she do it in the first place?”

She scoffs.

“You’re so nosy, bitch.”

Eren laughs, which has her relaxing her shoulders, before she talks again.

“Eren. Please don’t tell anyone, okay? This is really serious.”

Eren breaks, the seriousness in her demeanour stoppign him.

“I promise. What is it?”

She sighs, holding out a picture to him on her phone. It’s a picture of her and a little boy, with short, curly brown hair.

“This is my son. His name is Theodore, but…I call him Teddy. Like…Teddy Bear? And I feel so shitty, Eren but…they kind of hold him against me sometimes when it comes to things like this. So when they ask me to do things, I just do them.” Lana states.

“They hold you against him?”

“I mean….I try really hard to protect his privacy, Eren. He’s just a kid. I mean, he’s barely even two years old right now. And I know your parents, I’m sure you know that growing up in the spotlight isn’t the best place to be.”

Eren frowns, looking down at the picture. He’s never really quite thought it before, but he thinks that Lana is really pretty. Or more appropriately, that Lana looks very pretty when she smiles. And that he’s never seen her smile like this before.

“I get that. So what do they do? Threaten to tell?” Eren asks.

“I mean, they usually find out where I’m keeping him. I tend to keep him moving from different houses, with security in all that, to make sure that he’s safe from that type of thing. And-”

“Does he stay with his dad?” Eren asks.

Lana sighs, resting her chin against her knees.

“Eren. Ricky isn’t good news. And your little girlfriend or friend or whatever…she’s in really risky territory right now.” she states.

“What do you mean?” Eren asks.

She almost flinches, withholding of what it is exactly that’s on the tip of her tongue.

“Eren. He’s just not a good guy. You should make sure that someone is with her, that she’s not ever alone with him. Just take my word for it. There’s a reason my son doesn’t get to see him, why I avoid him like the plague.” she states.

Eren can see the tears filling in her eyes - and makes a mental note to drop the topic and relay the information to Connie or Jean later.

“I’m not going to tell anyone, Lana.”

“I know. That’s why I feel even worse. I’m really sorry for what I did, Eren.”

“That’s okay. Let’s just make a deal.”

“What’s that?”

“I’ll help and you’ll help me. Pacts between Tellytubbies are really sacred.” Eren states, feigning seriousness.

“You’re stupid.”

“And you’re annoying.” he responds.

Lana laughs, teary eyed, as she reaches forward and shakes on it.

“I only became really aware of the problem after Lana had pointed it out to me. And became even more frustrated with them, with all of them, when I had realized what they had been saying to her. Making comments about her body to her, despite the fact that she had literally given birth, and incessantly teasing her about her son, who is basically my favorite person in the world, by the way. That they would purposely put alcohol in her drinks, when she couldn’t drink at the time.”

The clips cut, this time to Eren and Lana, in a different mix of videos of playing with Teddy. You recongize him straight on, as the kid that you had met with Eren before the two of you had talked on the beach, and feel your heart burn at the fact that you had met Lana’s son and not known it. That Lana and Eren had to fight to make sure that he was safe, that she was doing anything for him.

“Eren and I basically had an arrangement. We both had houses off of set in Seattle, that we should shuffle him between, along with my brother Landon. There was someone with Teddy at all times, and at that age, he wasn’t really old enough to question the fact. His mom was always there to put him to bed at night, and sometimes his best friend Eren was there to do it too, so it didn’t mean too much to him.”

Eren sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“It all started going downhill the week that I got hurt. Because, of course, that’s when Connie arrived on set.”

Lana wasn’t really paying attention when it had happened. Her nose was stuck in her own script, headphones over her ears, as she practiced the next scene she was going to be in.

When she looked up, three minutes after the fact, that’s when she saw it. That Eren was tangled with the cords that were suspending him in the air and that he was hanging unconscious upside down.

“What the hell are you doing? Take him down from there.” Lana states, incessantly shaking at Scott’s shoulder as he watched Eren in the viewfinder.

“What the hell are you talking about, Price?”

“He’s not fucking breathing. What the hell are you talking about?”

“He’s acting. Did you not read your script before you got here?” he asks, annoyed as he gestures for the crew around him to continue.

Lana looks up, every gut feeling of hers screaming in her stomach, as she runs on to the set, climbing on to the makeshift ladder and reaching for Eren stuck between the strings.

“Eren. Eren, wake up.”

Except he doesn’t budge in his arms, instead swinging back and forth from the way he’s precariously hanging on the strings. She presses her fingers to his neck, his pulse slightly weak under her fingers, as she can feel the tears burning in her eyes.

“What the hell is wrong with you guys? Why can’t you just give him a break? He’s been going at it for like four hours.”

“Price. You’re ruining the shot.” Scott states, rather irritated.

“Take him down. Now.”

Scott rolls his eyes, walking over to the switchbox at his side. He reaches for the lever, placing his hand on the stick, as he all but glares at Lana.

“You want it that bad? Here.”

And he pushes the lever all the way down, sending Eren straight to the ground on his head. Lana can feel the panic rushing through her as she basically tumbles down, turning Eren’s head over in her hands, and being met with red, warm blood on her hands. She gives a weary eye to the crew, who phone the ambulance, as she follows in her own car.

“I think that was the first time that I realize that really, truly - these people don’t care about anything but getting the shot. I get that Eren was supposed to look like he was dead in that scene, but tiring him out to get the perfect shot was far from what he needed to do.”

“I sustained a concussion that left me in the hospital for a week. And I had three long lacerations down the length of my back from the harnesses that we were using, that basically sliced it on impact. That I still have scars from by the way.” Eren states.

You reach for Eren’s hand, squeezing hard on his wrist, as the video continues.

“When we finally made it back to set, Connie was there. And it’s not that I don’t love Connie, that I wouldn’t have loved to see him there, but I already knew that it wasn’t going to go well.” Eren states.

Eren sighs.

“I know, logically, that you can’t really blame these things on people. That Connie wasn’t my responsibility and that addiction is a real, physical disease that he had to battle against. But I just can’t help but feel like I could have stopped him if I was there.” Eren states.

“When I got to set, everyone around me hyped me up over the same basic thing. That Eren was out of commission, for reasons that they wouldn’t exactly tell me, and that I should take his spot as the lead. It was only a few days into shooting and that it would be an easy switch if I had just asked Scott if I could take his role.” Connie states.

Connie sighs.

“It was a simple thing that they were telling me. That Eren - he had gotten to be the lead role, hundreds of times over. That Levi had picked Eren out of everyone as the best, that he was extra hard on him because he knew that he could make a star. And that really, I had never gotten the same kind of exposure that Eren had, the type that comes from being a lead.” Connie states.

The video cuts - to videos of Connie and Eren filming on the set of Attack on Titan - the two of them playing pranks on Erwin and Hange together, running around each other between scenes, and laughing at Historia and Ymir walking past.

“Eren is one of my best friends. I would never want to side swipe him like that, so I decided that I was going to ask Eren for the role. And I was really self-assured that Eren would give it to me. Because he’s always been giving in that sense, he always had been with Armin and Y/N, and he would for me too.” Connie states.

“Just to clarify, the reason that I didn’t let Connie take the role at that point was because I had quite literally sustained a concussion from doing it. I was never going to let him step into that - no matter how hard he begged me to.” Eren responds.

“And so I got really hurt by it. And then everyone around me, they kept whispering it in my ear. That Eren couldn’t handle anyone but him being the star. That Eren thought I had no business being there, that I wasn’t made to be in a lead role. And for some reason, I don’t know fucking why, I thought that they were being honest with me. That they were being earnest. They kept bringing up the Girlfriend incident, that Eren was so quick to drag Y/N down the first chance he got, and that he would do the same to me too. I had so much trust in these people that I would do anything to stay friends with them. Because they were real. And unfortunately for me, I did. And one of the shittiest things I ever did was fight with Eren because of it.” Connie stated.

Eren found out, three months after the fact, that Connie had been doing drugs. He had his suspicions, since Connie had been spending so much time around Myka, and acting so weird and skittish around him that something had to be up.

So after he dropped Teddy off to Landon’s and head back to set with Lana, the two of them were prepared to talk to him about whatever it was, to clear the air. Except when they got there and knocked on Connie’s door, they found him lying face down on the desk, fast asleep with a small mound of white powder and a small trickle of blood down his nose.

“Connie. Connie, wake up.” Eren states, rigidly shaking his entire frame.

“Oh my gosh. Oh my god, Eren what do we do?” Lana states, her hands on his shoulder as he hears her sniffling in his ear.

“Connie. Dude, you have to wake up now. Come on.” Eren states.

Connie lightly shuffles in his sleep, as Eren backs up out of the way, with Lana behind him. Connie wakes up, half there, as his eyes focus in on Eren and he pales. That Connie’s giving him the most agitated, mean look that he’s ever gotten in his life. That he’s ever seen Connie sport in his life.

“Connie. Hey, you-”

“What do you want, Eren?” he asks.

“We were just worried about you, dude. We haven’t talked in so long, and that’s our fault, but-”

“I’m not good enough for you, right? You’re too big of a star to be friends with someone as low on the food chain as me right?” Connie responds, seething.

Eren frowns.

“Connie, hey man. What are you talking about? We’ve been like family since we were little. Why would I-”

“Why didn’t you give me the lead role? Why the fuck are you and Lana always sneaking around behind my fucking back? Don’t play the family card in my face when you’re the one who fucking abandoned me, Eren.”

“Connie. I’m really sorry that I-”

That’s when Connie lifts his hand, jolting it straight across Eren’s face. He can feel the immediate, immense pressure on his nose, the bright red shooting out of his nostrils as he looks back up at Connie.

“Connie. We can’t-”

“We can’t what? You won’t fight me?”

“No, Connie. I’m not going to fight you.” Eren states.

“Why not? You’re still too good for me, aren’t you? You’re too good for Y/N, too good for me, too good for anyone who fucking got you there.” Connie states, swinging again.

Connie’s movements are loose, uncoordinated, which is when Eren reaches for his arm, just to pin him to the ground underheath him. There’s a sweltering guilt when he does it, holds Connie down, and it only increases in magnitude when Connie cries underneath him, cursing his name.

“Two weeks after my fight with Connie, my worst possible outcome occurred. That I have friends, who love me more than anything, and wanted to surprise me for my birthday. Y/N and Armin came to Seattle. And Y/N….she wanted to tell me that she still loved me.” Eren states.

“That was the worst possible time that they could have shown up. Because they were this close to leaking my secret, basically telling me that it was any day now that it was going to happen, after finding out that Eren and I were planning on breaking our contracts, just to be out of the situation for good. We had even reached out to Levi and Hange about it, which they had found out about very fast.” Lana states.

“I saw Y/N for the first time at my birthday dinner and was immediately floored at the fact that she was there. And Armin had quickly told me, when I had scurried away to the bathroom to check on her, so I knew what I had to do. I left my birthday dinner, with Hyla, to break up with her then and there. When I knew that I had a chance at getting Y/N back.” Eren states.

“Do you want to get out of here? Just you and me?”

Hyla gives him a giddy smile as she nods, putting her hand in his, as he drags her out, with his arm secured around his waist. And the second that he can drive them slightly out of earshot, back to the house where he can talk to her in private, there’s a weight that’s lifted off of his chest when he gets to say it.

“I’m breaking up with you.” Eren states.

Hyla frowns, squinting her eyes at him.

“Okay but like…technically, we aren’t even dating. It’s just a publicity thing.” Hyla states.

“Whatever this is. I want out. I-I’m not doing it anymore.” Eren states.

Hyla laughs, sitting criss crossed on the couch, as she looks up at him.

“My dad is going to be super pissed at you, Eren.”

Eren smiles, lighter than he had been feeling in the four years that he had been stuck in this godforsaken house. Because truly, the reason that had brought him here, didn’t matter anymore.

Levi and Hange were on his side - and they were going to help him out of this - and more importantly, you were back. The two of you were going to be together again, despite wherever the hell the two of you were going to be stuck.

“I don’t care. My contrat is almost up anyways. And I can imagine that the same headlines get boring over time, Hyla. I think it’s time to call it quits.”

Eren looks down at her, busily typing away on her phone, as she looks up at him.

“Are you sure you know what you’re doing, Eren?” Hyla states.

“Yeah. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”

“Fine. You can meet with my dad tomorrow to talk about it. He’s been thinking about bringing Ricky James on for a while anyways.” Eren states.

“Be my guest. You guys would fucking love him.” Eren states, running off.

“I was still on Cloud Nine that night. And it was making my skin itch, knowing that Y/N was like four feet away from me and we were going to be together again. So I woke her up in the middle of the night and took her to the beach outside of one of the houses that Lana and I owned. And-”

Eren tears up in the video, as you fight away the warm tears that are welling in your own eyes.

“During that entire night, I-I was so fucking happy again. All of the things that seemed so consequential to me when I was seventeen, that I needed to be at the same level as Y/N to be with her - which would basically be impossible, because she was always going to be better than me - seemed so ridiculous. The two of us, we just got to be real people in the second. The way that we always got to be when we were together.” Eren states.

“The following morning, Scott had shockingly agreed to let Eren and I be dismissed from our contracts, given that we finished off the press deals that we had going on. Which included the interview that we were going to do on the Life in Love podcast. Which should have ben our first, glaring red flag. That of course, we were never going to be let off that easy.” Lana states.

“It was simple. I guess-I guess I was so fucking happy that I got to talk about me and Y/N, what the two of us coming back together meant to me, that I put it all out there. And the WBS paid off Life in Love and edited the version of the podcast that was released.” Eren states.

“Granted, the part that’s always floored us that people never questioned it once. That the podcast clip that was released was barely ten minutes, when the episodes are usually an hour. That the podcaster has to ask questions to provoke the answers and that they weren’t even in the fucking video. And most of all - the fact that I didn’t even fucking talk thoughout the entirety of the interview.” Lana adds.

“I would have told Y/N. I would have told her the full truth then and there and I know that she would have believed me. Except, the person that I least expected, came to me beforehand and stopped me from doing it.” Eren states.

Eren’s met with an incessant pounding at his door, as he shoves all of his last belongings into his bag, ready to take off with you and Armin - and making your best efforts to drag Connie with you.

Eren opens the door to find Myka at his door, out of breath and panting.

“What?” Eren asks.

“Eren. You can’t leave.”

“Oh what the fuck do you want now? I’m taking Connie with me and that’s the fucking last of it.” Eren states.

“No, Eren. Really. You can’t go right now.” she states, pushing into his room and fervently sliding through her phone.

She hands him over the phone, with the email chain, as he anxiously reads through it and feels his heart drop.

“There’s no way. They can’t do that right?”

The email chain has the headlines - printed out and ready for distribution. Of them displaying every one of the last secrets that he wants out there front and center. About Connie being a drug addict, about Lana and Teddy, and of him and Y/N being homewreckers on the beach.

“It’s just a headline. We’ll be fine.”

“Eren. I read the article. They wrote about her brother’s in the article. About Lana and Ricky too - in detail.”

“What do you mean in detail?”

“They know everything, Eren. About every last detail of what he did to her, Eren. They’re going to put it all out there tomorrow, the second that you leave. And Y/N’s brothers…haven’t they literally been attacked before? This will be tenfold to that, Eren.”

Eren sighs, shaking the thought from this head.

“We’ll send them a security detail. And Lana, Connie, they’ll be-”

“Eren. You know for a fact that Lana doesn’t want anyone to know that he even exists. And Connie’s career. He’s never going to recover from this. And it’s- Y/N won’t be happy, Eren.” She states.

“So what the hell do you want me to do? Just stay here? Because there’s no way in hell that I’m letting Y/N stay here with me. And I know her - she’s not going to leave here without me.”

“They have Falco and Colt’s addresses, Eren. And-and don’t tell anyone but fucking Danny and Sareen? Her producers? They’re in on it. Sareen is literally Scott’s cousin, Eren. They’re planning on taking Y/N’s music away from her, so that they can make money off if it without giving her a cut.”

Eren pales.

“They’re going to do that if she stays here. And you know for a fact that you can’t leave because Connie won’t go and Teddy and- Eren you have to stay. She has to leave.”

“I can’t even fucking trust you. I don’t know what shitty game you’re trying to play here but it’s not funny.”

“I care about you guys.”

“Yeah right.”

“Okay, maybe not about you. But Lana….I care about Lana. This is the last thing she would want, she literally works so hard to make sure that no one will know about him for good reason. It would kill her to see it all get leaked.”

“Who the fuck is Lana to you? You don’t even-”

Eren understands it all too quickly. The pained flash that overtakes her eyes, the eway she’s so incessantly pleading on Lana’s behalf.

It’s because she’s in love with Lana.

Eren sighs, pinching his eyes shut.

“Do you have the article? I have to read it before I decide.” Eren states.

She nods, as she opens up the next email chain andhands him the phone. And when he reads through it, each consecutive sentence makes his stomach hurt, making it glaringly obvious what he has to decide.

Because the all but declare a smear chain against you and your brothers, slut shame you for what happened on he beach, drag Hange and Levi’s name to the blood, and leave no detail of Lana’s relationship with Ricky out. Things that no person should have aired out and Connie’s section nearly career ruining.

“Fuck. So what do I do? I mean-”

Eren can feel the tears burning in his eyes, as the leave warm, hot streaks down his skin.

“You have to make sure she leaves, Eren. You can’t have Y/N stay here. It’ll put things back to normal.” Myka states, downtrodden.

“She’s not going to leave. If I tell her, she’s going to want to stay with me. To be in my side during this and-”

“Say what you have to. To make her leave.”

“Think of the worst possible thing you could say, Eren.”

“I did what she asked. I-I made sure that she would leave. And in hindsight, the entire situation seems so stupid that me. That there were ten other things that I could have done, but…in that moment, I did what I thought was right.”

“It was idiotic in hindsight. Because it stopped them from running their smear campaigns on Lana and Connie, but Y/N was the one who got side sweeped in the middle of it.” Connie states.

“That’s where I came in. Danny and Sareen had reached out to me about everything that had happened with Y/N and Eren. Told me that I needed to amke sure that she came out of this on the other side, that she couldn’t let a guy take her career away from her. And anyone who knows the half of it about me knows for a fact that it was the right thing that they needed me to say, to get her to do it. And really, they had purposely picked everyone who went to see Y/N. Jean, not Mikasa, because he had a personal interest in seeing Eren hurt, because he was hurt too. And Sukuna, who would never advise her head on, but support what she wanted to do in full.” Historia says.

You groan, hanging your head in your knees as you know exactly what’s coming next.

That Danny and Sareen had given Scott and his stupid tabloid company exactly what he wanted. That they were the one pushing you to sing all three songs, that each consecutive piece of information made you more irritated, more mad as you went on to perform. And worse than that - Danny and Sareen made it a point to talk to Eren before the show, just to taunt him to his face.

“I had reached out to Levi and Hange for their help two weeks before the award show happened. And luckily enough for me, they helped us out of the situation, fast. Connie, Lana, Sukuna, and I sued Scott Clarkson for defamation of character, mistreatment of employees, and a dangerous workplace. We got to end our contracts early. And then moved forward.” Eren states.

The video changes to different clips, each one striking deep in your heart. Of Connie blowing out the candles on his one year anniversary of being sober as Teddy blows out his birthday candles, of Eren and Zeke getting along, and of the four of them all together, laughing at stupid videos of each other. And Eren signing along with Lana, brings the tears pouring down your eyes.

There was nothing left to do (Oh-oh, oh-oh) When the butterflies turned to dust that covered my whole room So I punched a hole in the roof (Oh-oh, oh-oh) Let the flood carry away all my pictures of you Rain came pouring down When I was drowning, that's when I could finally breathe And by morning Gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean (Oh, oh, oh, oh)

“Make no mistake. There was so much that was taken out of us, in the years that we spent working there at Stone Studios. In being part of an environment that was so shitty, so damaging to who we were and the mental state that we were living in, in the name of making a good movie. But there was good that came out of it too.”

The clips switch, this time shocking you so deeply in your core that it makes your heart burn. Because the clips are of Sukuna and Lana, together. Swinging their hands together on the beach, cooking together in the kitchen, and kissing each other on the cheek.

“I know for a fact now, that the tiny little wishes that I made against my bedroom door have come true. Because I’ve been lucky enough to be blessed with the warmest, most compassionate partner that I could have ever wanted.”

Which is when you notice it. That in the video, Sukuna has the same little teddy bear tattoo as Lana on his forearm. And that they both have the tattoo for their son.

Your past and mine are parallel lines Stars all aligned and they intertwined And taught you The way you call me, "Baby" Treat me like a lady All that I can say is All of the girls you loved before (ooh) Made you the one I've fallen for Every dead-end street Led you straight to me Now you're all I need I'm so thankful for All of the girls you loved before But I love you more

“Lana is the love of my life. I’m glad that every shitty thing in my life was just…preparation for me to get to her. Because every shitty betrayal, every crappy headline, every deep rooted hard feeling in my chest, she’s the person who was made to handle it. She’s gentle, she’s warm, and she’s everything I’ve ever wanted. And I’d go down this path a hundred times more if Teddy and Lana were always the ones waiting for me at the end.” Sukuna states.

“It was a horrible situation. But it’s taught us to appreciate the very best. For me, I finally got to reconcile with my older brother, who go to tell me the real story of what happened to him as a kid. And now, I’ve gotten to rectify one of the most important relationships in my life.” Eren states.

“I feel really shitty for how things went down, Eren.” Zeke states.

Eren nods, hiking his knees to his chest, as he rests his chin against his legs. Hange and Levi had invited Zeke over in his little retreat in the house, as they prepared for the case at the end of the week, just to talk things out. Hange and Levi had all but forced Eren to be polite and at least hear him out.

“I’m sure you’re too young to remember. But, that day at the hospital. They had started the rumors that I was funding drug dealers through money that I had in my back accounts.” Zeke states.

“Well, what did you actually do with that money? Because I know for a fact that Mom and Dad had actually found money being shoveled out of your savings, Zeke.”

He frowns.

“You know my Mom, Eren?”

“What kind of dumbass question is that? We have the same mom, idiot.”

“No, Eren. My biological mother.”

“Oh, sorry. Dina, right?”

“She’s not a good person. And I know that. But, she had reached out to me. Asking for money. She said that she needed the money for hospital bills and all that and that Dad wouldn’t return her calls. And that she feels horrible asking of this, because she knows I’m her son and she should have taken care of me, butcher really, reallyneeded it.” Zeke states.

“And she…spent it on drugs.” Eren states.

“Yeah. And Mom and Dad knew that, they believed me when I told them.”

“They did?”

“Yeah. But it was my decision to distance myself away from you guys. I wasn’t planning on doing it but…Mom lost a magazine cover, Dad lost a role, and…I knew that this was your dream. That you wanted to make it big and you couldn’t really make it big with me attached to your name.”

“Zeke. That’s so stupid. I wouldn’t have cared about that. And I don’t care because-”

“Eren. You don’t care now. There comes a point where everyone reaches this kind of stage. Where thje politics and the shitty tabliods, they make you realize that all of these things are really inconsequential. But at that age, this was all that you wanted. And I’d hate foryou to secretly resent me, resent my shitty decisions, becuase they were the ones that were holding you back.”

“Zeke…”

“I’m just glad to have you back as my brother now. I know my actions don’t really make it seem that way, but you kind of meant the world to me, man.”

The camera cuts, to a black screen with text on it, as the movie closes out.

Eren Jaeger, Lana Price, Connie Springer, and Ryomen Sukuna sued Scott Clarkson and Stone Studios on November 6th. The four of them reached a settlement with the studio, each recieiving twenty-five millions dollars each from the Clarkson Conglomerate.

Lana Price and Ryomen Sukuna have decided to split their settlement money two ways. Both are dedicating a half to ensure that they can continue to fund and upkeep security costs for their son, Theodore Price. And together, the two of them are donating the other half of their money to sexual assault victims, in hopes to support those who have similar experiences to the two of them.

Connie Springer has decided to donate all of his settlement money in order to support the establishment of rehab centers in various cities throughout the country. He hopes to create an advocacy network for those who have struggled and hopes to shine a light on the problems that exist in the current, underfunded programs.

Eren Jaeger, along with his settlement money, has asked Stone Studios for two additional items. First, he has asked for a copy of the original interview that he did for Life in Love, which he plans to return to Y/N L/N, who he claims was the only person who deserved to hear those words in the first place, the first chance he gets.

Second, Eren Jaeger negotiated with the conglomerate for weeks for the masters to Y/N L/N’s album, The Lucky One. The negotiation was short-lived, but the Scott Conglomerate has promised to return the rights of the music to Y/N L/N.

And third. Eren Jaeger has decided to donate his settlement money to fund arts programs throughout the Candian Provinces. Eren Jaegers album, Valedictorian, will donate all of the money produced in it’s first calendar year to the same cause.

“Y/N has dreamed about being a triple threat since she was a kid. But the first time that she ever felt that the dream was real was when, according to her, a group of hippie dippies in her hometown had raised money and petitioned to fund the arts program at her school. Which in turn, helped her realize that this was something that she loved. More so than just something that she wanted to do as a career, but something that was so in tune with who she was as a person, that she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from doing it even if she wanted to. And I’d hate for people to look at me, or at her, and be dissuaded from coming into this industry, no matter how shitty it is. There’s really depth to her art and her work that can’t and wont’ ever be diminished by any of this. Which was the point of all of this anyway.”

The video switches, this time to different clips of you and Eren. Of the two of you at awards shows togethers, sitting in interviews together laughing, and the nearly thousands of clips that Connie has made of you two together throughout the years.

Of the two of you in love.

I still remember the look on your face Lit through the darkness at 1:58 The words that you whispered for just us to know You told me you loved me So why did you go away?

“Make no mistake. Y/N L/N is the love of my life. She’s everything you want in the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and more. She’s compassionate, sensitive, and always been so understanding of me. There’s never been, and going to be, someone in my life that has such a pull on me the way she does. She’s the moon, she’s the only reason that I even push and pull in the way that I do. I wouldn’t be sitting here, in this chair today, telling my truth if she hadn’t been so brave, so truthful as to do it first. And I wouldn’t be sitting here, still wholeheartedly believing in love, even though I lost it, because I know for a fact that it would be a disservice to what we shared to turn myself away from it.”

I never thought we'd have a last kiss I never imagined we'd end like this Your name, forever the name on my lips So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe And I'll keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are Hope it's nice where you are

“It’s always that dumb question that people ask. Would you rather love and lose it or not love at all?”

And I hope the sun shines and it's a beautiful day And something reminds you, you wish you had stayed You can plan for a change in the weather and time But I never planned on you changing your mind

“The correct answer is always to chose love. And it’s an easy question when the person you’re loving is love personified.” Eren finishes.

You turn over to Eren, teary eyed and the gaping, the burning feeling in your chest so immense that you can’t even fathom the words to say to him. So overwhelmed, so overstimulate from everything that you’ve heard - everything that you’ve felt - that you can barely keep your head on straight. The last song starts playing, which you can tell is entitled Fine Line from the credits line, as the words make the sobs wrack through you fully.

We'll be a fine line We'll be a fine line We'll be alright We'll be alright We'll be a fine line We'll be a fine line We'll be alright (alright, alright, alright)

You turn to him, his hands on your shoulders, as he reaches up to brush the tears off of your face. You can still feel yourself hiccuping in his touch, the look in his eyes so pained as he looks into your eyes.

“I’m really sorry, Y/N. I’m so fucking sorry.” Eren whispers.

“Eren. You- you fucking idiot. I’m going to kill you.” you whisper back, mustering your best glare as you frown at him.

“That frown never stops being cute, you know? You have the horror appeal of a stuffed animal.”

You shove him, in response, glaring at him as the burning in your chest slightly subsides.

“Stop trying to lighten the mood. I’m ten different levels of mad at you right now.”

“Okay. I’m going to say something crazy to you, but it’s just an idea, okay? We don’t have to do it if you don’t want to?”

“What the fuck could be crazier than…oh, I told you that I didn’t care about you because I wanted to protect you? Or, oh, I sued a person who took everything away from me and instead of trying to get more money, I tried to get back the rights to your music. Or oh, THAT STUPID INTERVIEW I DID WAS FUCKING EDITED?”

“Okay. Maybe it’s a little less crazy than that. But just hear me out okay?”

“I can basically never hear that phrase the same from you again. The last time I didn’t hear you out, you were sitting on a butt load of fucking information. Like the fact that you took the fall for me when someone threatened my fucking family? Or oh, I was struggling for years on end but never once reached out to you or-”

“Sweetheart. Just listen to me. Please.”

You frown, crossing your arms as you look at him.

“Everyone else is going to be on the press tour for another four days. And there are some people who want to see us….in Seattle.”

“Seattle? Don’t tell me in some weird twisted way that you're friends with Hyla or something?”

“Ew, no. Not Hyla. But your wife wistfully looks at the window everyday, wondering when you’re going to come home from war. And no I’m not being dramatic she makes that joke almost every day. And Sukuna said he has some choice words prepared for you that he’s been sitting on for a few years now. And, it’s also Teddy’s sixth birthday. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I’m kind of his favorite. And I know that he would like you too.”

“You-”

“It would just be for two days. We don’t have to go if you don’t want to, but the two of them. They really love you. They want to see you and…you have a lot to talk about. With both of them.”

“Yeah. I-I want to see Lana. And Sukuna, they…. fuck, Eren. they went through so much. You- you went through so much. I’d like to see them and- Eren, I don’t know what to say but-” you respond, the tears warm as they spread down your eyes.

“Don’t say anything yet. Sit on it for a little. I’ll pack our things, yeah?” he states, voice warm as he smiles at you.

“Okay.”

“One last thing, Y/N.”

“Eren. You’re going to give me a heart attack.”

He rolls his eyes, as he fishes through his pocket, and places a USB in your hand. You twist it over in your fingers as you look at it and give him a confused look.

“The interview. Unedited. I-I meant what I said. You-you should be able to hear it. Those words are meant for you and you only.

You turn it over in your hands, preshing it flesh against your hand, as you and Eren step out of the townhouse into the snow and head towards the car for the airport.

Hand in hand.

next part linked here

an: GUYS U CANT SIMP OVER SUKUNA ANYMORE HES A FATHER. LEAVE HIM ALONE I SWEAR TO GOD. that being said sukuna and lana appearances next chapter RAAAA. and as always, someone send me an ask for the valedictorian tracklist I HAVE IT LOCKED AND LOADED

taglist: @k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06 @bsenpai @sweetenertea @mykyoon @violetmatcha @rebeccawinters @cutiejg @bokutosthings @bookwrmm @mblrrrr @wheredidmycrowngo @somethinginyoureyes7 @chilichopsticks @okaystopwhore @you-always-made-me-blush @itzmeme @firelordazulaaaa @whoami-72 @g-ghostly @intimacywithceline @erensmoodygf @cocomellxn @princess-ackerman @jaegerfiles @cacapeepee @rui-0836 @moonmalice @invisible-mori @sofiasber @bbybeeb @timetobegone @tee4str @ttokki2 @leave-rae-alone @ec3lipsy @officialsimpp @gojojang @yookayyo @lordbugs @multiplefandomthings @iobeyfandoms @camilo-uwu @justanotherkpopstanlol @mel-star636 @fvckingeetar @ttalgi @najaemism @ilovekimchi123 @youraggedybitch @xoyumiqls @leafguitar @mrksnctzen @spiidergirlsworld @luvs4kim @levin4nami @florichun @hoonmyluv

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hotvintagepoll · 2 months

Text

Propaganda

Cyd Charisse (The Bandwagon, Brigadoon, Singin’ in the Rain)—LEGS LEGS LEGS I would sell my soul for the legs of Cyd Charisse - she oozed style and glamour and sex appeal!! And she could DANCE! She was dancing next to the greats - Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire but they are never who you're looking at because why would you when you can look at her. I will only sit through too long ballet breaks for her. If there was any woman who you could call sex on legs it was her. These dances are everything to meeee (she comes in at the minute mark) and this dance too of course is iconic. In the words of Fred Astaire 'When you've danced with Cyd Charisse you stay danced with'

Suchitra Sen (Harano Sur, Chaowa Pawa)—Suchitra Sen! She had a 25-year career in Bengali films, and was at the height of popularity for a solid two decades as half of the wildly beloved pair of Uttam-Suchitra, who were practically the entire romantic genre of Bengali films by themselves. She acted in literary adaptations, romantic comedies, (melo)dramas and inspired-by-current-events films. She was the first Indian actress to receive an international award at the Moscow International Film Festival. In 1978, after the release of her last film (a box-office flop) she pulled a Garbo and put herself out of the public eye completely. She made no appearances, gave no interviews, refused awards, all of it. She didn't even show up for her daughter's or grand-daughters' debuts! She was taken for funerary rites in a covered hearse! The glamour! The mystery! That blinding smile!

This is round 2 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Suchitra Sen:

Not to take away from her costars in Devdas (1955), but the great Indian cinematic tradition of Tragic Romantic Yearning would not, I argue, be what it is without Suchitra Sen's performance in that film. I root for things to turn out better for her every time, even though I know how things are going to go.

A Bengali cinema icon. Liked crows (per Gulzar, "It was an astonishing sight. The crows used to pick at the grapes from her hand").

Linked gifset

She once rejected Raj Kapoor's movie offer (one of the most successful actor and director at the time). She was quoted saying, “In men, I don’t look for beauty. I look for intelligence and sharp conversations. I had refused Raj Kapoor’s offer almost immediately. He came to my residence offering a lead role and, as I took my seat, he suddenly sat near my foot and offered me a bouquet of roses while offering the role. I rejected the offer. I did not like his personality. The way he behaved – sitting near my foot – did not befit a man.”

Legendary poet, lyricist, director and writer Gulzaar had this to say about her "Glad that my ‘Sir’—that’s what I call her— got the Dada Saheb Phalke award during her lifetime. Contrary to people’s perceptions, Suchitra Sen is an extremely warm and very very friendly person. I adore and respect her. But she has the right to choose her friends. Surely she’s justified in keeping away from every Tom, Dick and Harry. She’s the only example of such quiet dignity in show-biz. That’s why the media compares her with Great Garbo. Suchitra Sen is my Sir. I’ll explain. During the shooting of Aandhi she started calling me Sir. Everyone in Kolkata calls her Madame. Since I’m her junior I requested her not to call me Sir. But she insisted. (We always converse in Bengali). So I call her Sir and she calls me Sir.”

Linked musical number [won't let me display embedded for some reason]

Cyd:

Photos do not do Cyd Charisse justice, unfortunately, because she is at her hottest while dancing, which she was exquisitely good at. Just go watch her first number in Singin' in the Rain, in that green dress; nothing I could say here will be more convincing that that.

She had amazing legs, and she knew how to use them! You probably know her best from the dream sequence in Singin' In The Rain. She was such a stunning dancer, and all her dance scenes are hard to look away from.

Dancing in the Dark clip:

youtube

She's an amazing dancer and my favorite from the period. Here's her and Fred Astaire in the Band Wagon:

youtube

I just like a woman who's there to be really incredibly good at dancing.

One of the most talented female dancers in Hollywood history, but what sets her apart from other competitors for that title is that she...umm...well let's be blunt, she was the dancer who put sex into it. The one who said "Hey, you know that A+ leg tone that naturally develops from doing this for a living? Why don't I let people see that? Like at every opportunity?" She reportedly insured her legs for five million dollars after hitting it big, which just goes to show that fame makes you crazy. It should have been ten million.

Arguably the Best female dancer of her time, she supposedly insured her legs for $5 million dollars. Stole the show whenever she had a dance number, even if she went uncredited. Musicals started to go out of fashion so unfortunately she didn't have as many big roles as she should have, but those she did are unforgettable. The Broadway Melody number in Singin' in the Rain - the green dress!

She could pirouette in pointes or tear it up in taps. Fred Astaire called her "beautiful dynamite" and wrote, "That Cyd! When you've danced with her you stay danced with." Gene Kelly partnered with her three times. Her legs were (reportedly) insured for $5 million in 1952 ($57.8 million in 2024 dollars)! Everyone in this poll will be iconic, but for raw physical grace, Cyd is up there with the best.

Legs for days, beautiful dancer in the most iconic scenes of Singin in the Rain. She's glorious. As some guys sung to her in It's Always fair weather, 'baby you knock me out!'

Incredibly, Cyd Charisse only started learning to dance as a rehab exercise to strengthen her body after a childhood bout of polio. She was in high demand as a dance partner, Fred Astaire called her beautiful dynamite and said "When you've danced with her, you stayed danced with". She was one of a few leading ladies to dance with both Astaire and Kelly, declaring them both delicious. Kelly apparently was stronger, while Astaire was more coordinated. She also said her husband would always know who she had been dancing with because Kelly left her bruised, while Astaire didn't leave a mark. She's better known for her dance numbers today, but she was a leading lady in her time! Her Scottish accent in Brigadoon leaves a lot to be desired, but compared to the other actors in the movie, it's almost good. She appeared in The Harvey Girls alongside Judy Garland and Angela Lansbury in her first speaking role, but she really burst onto the scene with Singin' in the Rain and her infamous Broadway Melody Ballet number with Gene Kelly (no one could handle a length of fabric like Cyd Charisse). She was brought in because Debbie Reynolds wasn't really a dancer and Kelly was notoriously a stickler about his Vision. After that she starred opposite Astaire in The Band Wagon, which was a bit of a flop but created some enduringly incredible dance numbers. She went on to star in a number of MGM movies, and was one of the last of the Studio era stars to remain on contract. Since we've got up to 1970, I'm including her opening routine in The Silencers (1966) to show just how long she was making a splash - she's into her 40s here and still a siren:

youtube

and of course, the iconic Broadway Melody Ballet -

youtube

#suchitra sen #cyd charisse #hotvintagepoll #fuck that old woman #ladies 2

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3d-wifey · 9 months

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And They'd Find Us In A Week - Chapter 5

Pairing: Finnick Odair x Reader Word Count: 3.1k Synopsis: Here! Playlist: Listen up! A/N: Don't be scared to click the embedded links, you might get an auditory surprise (Ai voice cloning works wonders)

Past (v) - Finnick

[17 & 18] - DISTRICT FOUR

Finnick sits at his desk, the end of his pencil tapping a song into the wood as he thinks. The two of you have been exchanging letters for almost a year now, but he still gets excited whenever you send a new one. Excited and nervous. Getting them mailed between districts is a slow progression involving lying to a few mayors and he's sure Snow reads each one. Still, Finnick thinks, it's worth it. In your latest letter, you explained to him how a bear snuck in from the woods, and the peacekeepers were forced to gun it down. Luckily, no one was hurt, but the mayor was "generous" enough to divide the meat among the citizens who were working. You finish with a closing of 'With love', your signature, and a shitty little drawing of a bear at the bottom with X's over its eyes. He traces it with his finger and pictures you hunched over your desk, nose scrunching in concentration as you draw it. "With love, huh?" He whispers to himself and smiles. Along with your letter, you sent a parcel full of bundled brown sticks tied together with yarn. Licorice root, you had said. Only available in the Capitol and District Eleven, best used in tea with berries. He brings it to his nose and it smells sweet, like caramelized sugar. It smells like you, but it's missing that undercurrent of earthly petrichor. He looks up when he sees Mags approaching with a knowing look in her eyes. She looks at the letter in his hands and he folds it before she can read the contents. Not that it matters. All she needed to see was the signature. It's not like she doesn't know who you are. She was so ecstatic to hear your stories, insisting he got more from you. And you gave them freely, even after Finnick ran out of ones to trade. It’s odd. You wanted nothing in return. Sometimes, he gets a little ahead of himself and wonders if it’s because you like him.

It isn’t too far-fetched to assume that, right?

Right. "What's that face for?" He laughs. She takes a loose piece of paper and a pencil to write: "When's the wedding?" He opens and closes his mouth, words escaping him. "It's not like that. We're just—” Just what? You are friends, right? Finnick has friends, but none that he likes as much as you. And the way he feels with you? He doesn't feel like that around them, not by a long shot. To just call you a friend feels like calling an ocean a pond. It's almost disrespectful to condense it into something so lacking. He can’t force you, and everything you make him feel—into such a small box, it would only overflow and drown him. You are much, much more than a pond.

Best friend, then? While true, it feels too juvenile. He considers it and he doesn't particularly like the idea of just being your friend anyway. He imagines you introducing him as such.

“Oh, and this is Finnick. My friend. Only my friend.”

No. No, he doesn’t like that at all.

If he can't be honest with you, he can at least be honest with Mags. "—I guess it is something like that." She hums excitedly and pinches his warm cheeks. "She says she hopes you're doing well." Mags perks up at that, gesturing between herself and the blank paper. He grins at her enthusiasm, "I'll tell her you said hi. Promise." She nods and pats his hand with a smile. As she walks to sit on the couch behind him, he thinks about what to send you. He can't just send a letter. Especially after you went out of your way to send licorice roots after he offhandedly mentioned he'd like to try some. He wracks his brain but comes up empty. Other than rope, hooks, and seashells, there's nothing else he can give you. His eyes drift around the room, landing on his bare wrist.

There is something he can make you.

Mags sits amused as he jumps up and rushes around the house to collect supplies. Technically, he doesn’t live here—she does. But this place has been more of a home to him than any other, past and present.

He grabs a spool of thin purple and blue rope, along with a few cowrie shells and little charms Mags has lying around. He sets up shop on the desk, cutting the blue rope to the length he wants it and folding it in half. He puts a shell in the middle, tying a knot on either side of it. He slides two little, silver charms on the left and right of the shell, a starfish and a turtle. He makes three basic Macrame knots with separate pieces of string. The two longest ones are slid on beside the charms and the smallest one is used as a closure.

Mags comes to stand beside him as he leans back to admire his work.

"Do you think she'll like it?" He asks her. He wants to bite at his nails as she looks over what he made, but refrains.

'She'll love it. :)". She writes and he hopes she’s right.

He repeats the process with the purple rope but uses a fish charm instead of a turtle and writes his letter.

Dear Star, Earlier today, I sat in the sand watching the sun rise over the ocean, and I imagined you were beside me. If I were a painter, I would capture the image for you. For now, I hope my words will suffice. The clouds shift from a dark blue to a ghostly white, parting and making way for the rising sun. The sky is a canvas of assorted colors. Navy blue, baby blue, and burnt orange chase each other in a swirl reflected across the water. As the sun climbs higher in the sky, a clear blue takes over the backdrop. Words can only take us so far. I really want to show you. Snow will only let us do so much, but maybe one day he'll let you come to Four and we can watch it together. Side by side, me and you in the sand. There's something else. I'm sure you noticed I sent you more than just the letter. There should be an intricate rope bracelet with a shell in the middle. I made us matching pairs, yours blue and mine purple—I remember you saying it's your favorite color. In hindsight, it would've made more sense to give you the bracelet with your favorite color instead of mine, but, it's kind of like having a piece of each other, you know? The jewelry has a bit of significance, too. The starfish is obvious, but the turtle is from Mags’s story. I even found a little fish charm to put on mine. You don't have to wear it, of course. It's kind of childish in retrospect. I just hope you don't laugh at me too much. Regardless, I'll be wearing mine. I know you didn't make it, but, somehow, it makes me feel closer to you. When I glance down at it, I'm reminded that I'm not alone. That there's someone out there whose life was made at least a little bit better by my being in it. I hope it'll give you that same comfort. -Fondly yours, Finnick O. P.S. Mags says hi. She's quite taken with you. You've somehow managed to charm her without ever meeting. Not that I'm surprised. :) P.P.S. I can't wait to see you again.

Present (V) - Finnick

[23 & 24] - TRAINING CENTER; FOURTH FLOOR

Finnick rewinds the video and pauses. His eyes absorb your features greedily, taking you in like a man starved. And, honestly, he is. It's the first time he's seen you, outside of your picture, in two years, but it's felt like a lifetime. Initially, he watched your reaping in hopes of you proving him wrong.

You didn't.

He can't help but find joy in the fact that he still knows you well enough to predict what you'll do. And he'll get to see you again. Really see you. He shouldn't be happy about that under these circumstances, but Finnick is under no illusion of being a good person. The camera focuses on you right as you're about to raise your hand to volunteer. He can see the conviction in your eyes and wonders why. Why did he ever think he could survive being away from you? "God, it feels like I've been watching you rewind for hours." Finnick freezes. There are five other people here, all women, and only four of them can talk. This voice is distinctly male. He looks over his shoulder and sighs. He should've guessed. "Haymitch. How did you—” He cuts himself off when he spots Mags standing a little behind him. That solves how he got in. He didn't hear him knock or notice him approaching, too focused on you to use his other senses. "Kid, I don't wanna say this is sad, but it's not, not sad." Finnick rolls his eyes at Haymitch's unwelcome opinion. Should he be embarrassed to be caught in this position? Maybe. Probably. Yeah, he definitely should be. But he gave up his shame a long time ago. He's honestly just annoyed at being interrupted.

"What do you want?" He turns back around to face you. "Why do I have to want something, huh?" Haymitch walks around the couch, Mags close behind him. "Can't I just show up to check in on you guys?" Finnick levels him with a deadpan stare. Haymitch purses his lips. "Alright, I'll cut to the chase," he starts before pausing, "is your prep team still here?" "No. They're off doing," he gestures vaguely towards the door, "whatever the hell it is they do." Something he considers a blessing. He already sees them more than he sees his own reflection. The less he's around them, the better. "Why?" "Because they're the last people we need to hear this conversation," he sits on the chair to the left of the couch. "Allies. Have you thought of any besides Mags?" "Can't say I have." He lies. Of course, he has. He's going into the arena with people he's known for a decade. Johanna comes to mind, but it's unlikely she'd team up with anyone. And you. He doubts you'd want him as an ally, but he'll help you regardless. And if it came down to him and you, well.

He’ll make sure you make it home. "You sure?" He leans his head on the hand that's propped up on the arm of the chair. "Not even a certain someone from Eleven? What was that nickname you gave her—Star, right?" He asks with that same tone he always used to take on when teasing Finnick about you. He bites down on the defensive response bubbling up, the snide comment on the tip of his tongue. He thumbs at the shell in the middle of his bracelet. He doesn't know, Finnick reminds himself, he doesn't know what I had to do to you. He isn't making fun of me. It's not like he told anyone other than Mags and Annie what happened between you and him—what Snow made him do. It's not like he ever could. Though he’s sure he, correctly, assumes that it’s Finnick’s fault. He takes a breath. "What is this about, Haymitch?" The older man sits for a moment, deliberating, before speaking. "When you get in the arena, I need you to protect Katniss and Peeta."

"...Are you drunk?" Finnick looks him over top to bottom. Maybe he’s gotten better at acting like he’s sober. "Not yet, sadly. I'm serious, Finnick." "And why the hell would I do that?" Haymitch goes on to explain the impending revolution. How District Thirteen didn't become a nuclear wasteland, and, instead, was forced into hiding. And how, with the help of Plutarch Heavensbee, the rebels started planning a coup as soon as the Quarter Quell was announced. "You don't seem surprised." "I'm not. People talk. Especially when they feel guilty." When he started turning away his clients' money, they were desperate to pay him atonement so their consciences wouldn't be weighed down by their sins. You came up with the idea. Money wasn't worth its salt to a victor. But secrets? Secrets were cashed in gold. With everything he was told, it wasn't hard to connect the dots. What he is surprised by is Heavensbee's hand in all of this. He's in a position of power, one directly under the president. What did he stand to gain from throwing all that away? He's wary and he tells Haymitch as much. "I know this is hard to believe, for you in particular, but there are good Capitols." He tries to cross his ankle over his knee but fails—clearly not sober. "Or, at least people who wanna do the right thing who just so happen to be Capitol." He tacks on at Finnick's unconvinced scoff.

"Alright, say I believe he's genuine, which I don’t. If this has been brewing for so long, why hasn't anyone acted until now?" "Every good revolution needs a spark and a flame." "And that's…Katniss?" "It's the romance! What it represents to Snow, but, more importantly, to the districts. The first act of public rebellion in over seventy-five years. But, the face of it is, more or less, Katniss." The Girl on Fire igniting a wildfire in the districts. He chuckles. "And where does Peeta fall in this metaphor?" "You can't have fire without air, right?" He asks rhetorically. "Well, we won't have Katniss without Peeta. She won't help us without him." Finnick rolls his eyes and sets the remote down beside him. The farce the two of them are pushing forward with this whole 'tragic romance' act will definitely keep them in the public's favor, but to let that get in the way of something this important is the kind of selfishness that can only be associated with a child. "She can't possibly care about him that much." "Yeah, well, you'd be surprised. Regardless, I need you—both of you to be a part of this. The Movement needs you. You're clever and a capable fighter. And you're one of the few who's experienced Snow's special brand of torture." He shouldn't flinch, but he does. It's an open secret among the victors, but to talk about it with anyone other than you is disquieting. He knows his face closes off and he's thankful for the fact that Haymitch knows when to stop while he’s ahead. Finnick looks to Mags. Her brows are furrowed resolutely, nowhere near as stricken as he is. She was alive during the first rebellion, but only a child. She must've been dreaming about this for years.

Haymitch goes to talk, but Finnick raises his hand to stop him before he can speak. “No need.”

Nothing Haymitch can say now will sway him to the cause, he’s almost certain of it. Better to save his breath while Finnick thinks. Because, rest assured, there is plenty for him to think about.

"God, you too are so alike it's eerie—down to the mannerisms. You'd think I'd be used to it by now, but it still throws me." Haymitch shakes his head in disbelief. "Who?" "Your better half. It took me a minute to convince her to join the Movement too, but only because she's so stubborn. You both are." And just like that, whatever illusion of choice Finnick thought he had is stripped away with the mention of you. Every path he takes leads back to you. What a heartening thought. "Alright. I'll be their ally. I'll," he takes a steadying breath. "I'll join the rebellion." "That's all it took? I would have brought her up earlier if I knew that, save myself some time." He sighs. "As a plus, the guys in charge agreed to rescue any rebels from the arena as long as you get Katniss and Peeta to the pickup point." Rescue? They'll make it out? Mags. Johanna. You. Abruptly, he gets a faint whiff of your scent caught in his head like a flashback. Hovering in his nostrils as faint as a memory. It is a memory. But if he goes through with this, maybe it doesn't have to stay one. "The pickup point?" "Is something you don't have to worry about right now. Everyone will be getting different parts of the plan that’ll need their full attention." If there really are as many people a part of this rebellion as Haymitch says there are, then, realistically, there's no way they'll all be making it out. Finnick's sure a decent amount of them will be trapped there in the arena after all hell breaks loose. And that's if they don't die beforehand. "Finnick, if we do this, and we do it right, that's it." "That's it?" "That's it. We're free. What does freedom look like to you, Finnick? I mean, I know what it looks like to me," Haymitch leans forward, elbows on his knees. He speaks about this with so much confidence, that Finnick is finding it hard to be pessimistic. "It looks like the citizens living without the weight of oppression and Snow losing any power he has over Panem. It looks like the Hunger Games ending permanently." Freedom. Now, that's an idea he's never even flirted with before. Something so completely out of his reach, he never dared to dream of it because it would hurt too much to wake up. He contemplates it. What does freedom look like to him? It looks like the generations following them never feeling the hopelessness they do now. It looks like the Hunger Games only being experienced through textbooks and the name Coriolanus Snow becoming a ghost story. Freedom looks like being by your side, loving you fearlessly. Finnick's never felt true freedom before—the closest he's ever gotten to it was when you touched him. He doubts it can feel much better than that.

Even without knowing the full plan, Finnick can tell there are a lot of moving pieces involved. All it'll take is one misstep, one fuck up, and it all collapses. The cards are stacked against them higher than he'd like to think about. Finnick's not a gambling man, but this? This is something he's willing to bet on.

Either they succeed or die trying.

Finnick runs a hand through his hair, pulling at the roots for a second. "Alright. What do I have to do?"

Haymitch smiles, more genuine than it usually is. "Just get them there. We'll handle the rest."

#hunger games catching fire #finnick x reader #finnick odair x reader #finnick odair #in a week #and they'd find us in a week #hunger games fic #hunger games finnick #hunger games fanfiction #hunger games mockingjay #finnick #finnick fanfic

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hylianmewmew · 3 months

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burnt toast: ravio x link (ravioli)

Today was going to be just great. Link huffed as he let his body thump back down on the bed with a painful thud. His joints were on fire and his muscles throbbed from past injuries. The gentle patter of the rain outside only made the deeply embedded pain hurt more. Deep breaths Link. He rummaged on his nightstand in the still dark room for his rings, hoping that the small amounts of magic would help ease the pain. Tears encroached the edge of Link’s vision, being forced to spill over from the amount of pain he was in.

A hand snuck around his waist from the opposite side of the bed, Ravio pressed a cool hand to Link’s skin who rolled over to Ravio’s side and clung onto the merchant. He wanted nothing more than to melt into his partner and not have to feel the oncoming chronic pain episode. He sobbed softly into Ravio’s shirt, today was going to be a particularly bad episode apparently. Ravio got up without a sound, causing Link to whine and reach for him.

“It’s ok bunny, I’ll be right back. I’m going to grab a potion and make you some food and tea. You need to keep your strength up to cope with this episode. Do you want one of the muffins I made yesterday or toast?” Ravio paused and held a hand out for Link to tactile sign his request on. Link signed the word for ‘toast’ on Ravio’s hand and buried himself in their blankets once more. “Toast it is! Have Sheerow yell for me if you need me, I’ll be as fast as I can.”

Ravio scurried off, leaving Link alone with his pain and Sheerow curled up in the crook of his neck, acting more cat-like than bird. Being left alone in the silence of the bedroom was a fate worse than death to Link’s overly dramatic pain-addled brain. Downstairs he could hear Ravio rushing around the kitchen, humming as he clanked around. The smell of burnt toast and almost too strongly steeped tea wafted upstairs as Ravio yelped and let loose a string of profanities to which Link couldn’t help but snicker at. Ravio’s one talent in the kitchen was the ability to burn almost anything despite his best efforts.

A particularly nasty wave of pain hit Link leaving a bitter taste in his mouth, coating his joints in mind numbing pain. He hissed, “Fucking shit that’s bad.”

His head rang, the darkened room spinning. Link wanted to scream, rip and tear at his own flesh, to bash his head in until the pain receptors ceased to work. But he knew better than that, he knew to ride out the pain, to wait until his body returned to that dull, aching, nagging sensation that plagued his waking hours. The kind that not even a fairy or strongest healing potion could solve. Link was used to this, he could get through this again.

Again.

That was it. Hot, acidic tears burned on his skin threatening to tear his body apart limb from limb. He’d saved worlds innumerable times, anything Hylia threw at him he handled. He was a fucking hero, a legend to the people, the kind of person who small children looked up to and used as a character in their play pretend games. Link had to be stronger than this; it wasn't an option.

“Oh bunny, it’s gonna be ok. Here, let me help you sit up a bit so you can drink this.” Ravio had appeared by Link’s side, tray of food and drinks in hand. He set the tray down on the nightstand and helped scoot Link up in bed and tried to hand him a potion.

Link shook his head, boring holes into the glass of the potion bottle. “Never helps enough, don’t wanna.”

Clicking his tongue Ravio cupped Link’s face, brushing the tears away with his thumb. “Does taking a potion help at least a little bit?”

Link nodded slowly, knowing exactly where this was going.

“That’s good, now can you please take the potion? Any little bit of relief is worth it. Don’t punish your body further.” Ravio’s voice was gentle and soothing as he coaxed Link into taking the potion.

Link grumbled before finally caving and downing the potion, tingles spreading through his body as the potion did its job. He hated the way potions felt, the pins and needles sensation made Link want to peel off his skin. It was almost worse than experiencing the pain alone. It was a little dramatic of a statement but that wouldn’t make him change his mind on how much he hated potions. He chased down the potion with his tea, heavily sugared with lots of cream still grimacing at the sensation the potion left behind.

“I deserve a kiss and a day’s worth of cuddles for that.” Link signed as he pouted and puckered his lips playfully. He yelped slightly when Ravio followed through with his playful demand, climbing into bed carefully and pressing a kiss to Link’s lips. Ravio scooted closer to Link, squeezing him gently but firmly holding him close.

“I love you so much bunny. You’re being so strong right now, kick this pain flare up in the ass.” Ravio rested his chin on Link’s shoulder, “I believe in you.”

Link couldn’t help but cry even more, those words meant so much coming from Ravio meant the world to him. He flipped over to face Ravio and buried his face in the merchant’s scarf, inhaling his scent of cinnamon and cloves. The pain hadn’t subsided nearly enough but the potion did take the edge off enough for Link to finally relax and melt into Ravio’s embrace. Somehow that made everything better.

#legend of zelda #the legend of zelda #tloz #loz #ravioli ship #raviolink #ravio x link #albw #ravio #link #mew fics

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sophieinwonderland · 1 month

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People in Trump supporting areas who grew up impoverished are part of the same systemic issue. This is a controversial opinion, but they are worthy of compassion just like anyone else. They are a product of their circumstances and an intentionally awful education system intended to keep them from thinking critically so that they can be easily controlled and manipulated. Are there exceptions? Of course. But the exceptions are outliers due to the good luck of a higher IQ and/or loving and compassionate parenting and/or coming into other ideas at the right points of their development. It doesn’t mean we have to agree with them or tolerate their views. But we don’t have to hate them or be intolerant of the person themselves for those views. They’re mixed up and confused and likely grew up knowing only hate. More division is not what the world needs.

That anon said nothing about hating endo systems or being intolerant of them. They said this is why people with trauma histories might become upset when linking plurality as a whole to DID caused by trauma. They did not say endos therefore need to hide or shouldn’t exist. It is possible to be inclusive of both sides. It doesn’t have to be one or the other. You are putting words in their mouth by talking of hate as a way to further ostracize the viewpoint from your audience.

It’s disappointing and sad how unwilling you seem to hear other perspectives that don’t fully match yours. Granted, you’re not alone in that.

The internet is full of all these filter bubbles and it’s so very isolating and depressing.

Best of luck.

It's not being unwilling to hear it. It's just "a lot of sysmeds are sysmeds because bad things happened to them" isn't some brand new revelation to me.

The question is... what do you do with that information?

Actually changing the mind of just a single person so deeply embedded in bigotry requires a monumental effort and time investment that can feel akin to cult deprogramming. Except cult deprogramming only happens when you get someone away from said cult, while sysmeds will still be very embedded in their communities, and changing their minds can mean them losing long-time friendships. They are socially incentivized to not change their point of view.

Should knowing the cause change anything about how I behave towards them?

I mean, I'm already not someone going around harassing people. I'm not sending hate to their inboxes. I'm not throwing around profanities and slurs. I don't even call people stupid... even though some of their takes are so brain-rot-inducing as to make me want to rip our hair out.

I'm firmly against that sort of behavior because I find it counterproductive.

So what does this view actually change?

It is possible to be inclusive of both sides.

It's not.

Sorry.

You can't be tolerant to the intolerant.

Being inclusive to sysmeds gives them the opportunity to spread system medicalism. Maybe you can change their minds over a long period of time, but maybe they come into your spaces, spread toxicity, and even indoctrinate impressionable people with their hate.

Ideas can spread like viruses, and I think hate should be treated as a viral infection. At least when it's small enough to be effectively quarantined.

Moreover, a space that's inclusive towards sysmeds can't be a safe space for their victims.

This, for the most part, isn't personal. It's not about punishing people for being bad. It's just about ensuring their ideas can't spread further and harm others.

What they're referring to, specifically, is honestly a bit unclear. It was about why people with DID are "upset about plurality." And there are a lot of ways the can be interpreted. Although I don't think it's a leap to say that the "hurt people hurt people" line was alluding to people who actively attack and/or harass endogenic and pro-endo systems.

I didn't get the impression that it was about linking plurality to DID, but rather the plurality itself.

#syscourse #pro endogenic #pro endo #sysblr #multiplicity

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newtabfics · 9 months

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I'm hooked on redeemed ganondorf and the researcher. when do they confess? How did they confess really? What happened!

okay so...i'll admit, this is absolutely my own headcanon for their "confession". I say it like that cuz it's not exactly a confession. Read on to understand but before you do:

Trigger warnings for hostage situation and combat violence.

Ganondorf frowned when he knocked on her door. It was nearly the end of the day and no one had seen Y/N. Given her adept ability to get in trouble at any moment if left unsupervised, he began to worry.

When no answer came, he called out her name, listening carefully before opening the door.

"If I ever don't answer, just come on in. I might just be too engrossed in my study," She'd told him once ages ago.

His eyes scanned over the room before widening as he caught sight of her desk. The chair was thrown aside and papers were scattered everywhere, a knife embedded in the book. The knife pinned a single parchment to her book.

Ripping it out, he read over the note and felt his blood boil before storming out, letter in one hand, knife in the other.

This seemed to grab the attention of a lot of Sheikah, however, as everyone was immediately on guard. Even the dragons that loomed over Kakariko growled softly at his fury.

"Stop right there!" An aged voice barked, making him freeze. He looked over to see Impa walking to him with Link and Zelda in tow. "What happened?" She asked simply.

"Lady Impa," A Sheikah said. "He came out of Y/N's house with the knife. No one has seen her all day and–"

"Was I talking to you?" She asked him before looking at him. "Something's happened. What was it?"

Ganondorf said nothing before giving her the letter. His body language told of unchecked anger that had burned hotter than Death Mountain.

She took it and read it over, paling. "The Yiga," She hissed. "So they managed to sneak past our guards." Looking up at him, she said, "It seems they've found you again. What will you do?"

"I'm bringing her home," He said simply as Link and Zelda hurried up. "Link, the Yiga have kidnapped Y/N. They believe they can use her as a bargaining chip to free me from the Sheikah."

Link clenched his jaw as he nodded. "We should move quickly then."

Y/N kept still as she watched the Yiga around her. She was being held in a small room within their Depths Base. It was one of the many Link had confessed to infiltrating. The only thing is, this one in particular sat atop a series of huge stalagmites.

She peeked through the opening to see gliders fixed with fans patrolling the hut. Outside, a Zonai device she recognized as a Construct Head was fixated to the door, a Beam Emitter practically glued onto the top.

No chance of escaping by herself, she realized, sighing softly as she looked to the ropes on her wrist and feet.

Taking a slow breath, she bit into the rope at her wrists, testing and tugging at the knot to find some give for it as she listened carefully to the emptiness of the Depths.

With the Gloom gone, it was somewhat peaceful. Though there were the Frox and the Stal monsters, it was still quiet.

She gulped as she finally undid her wrists, rubbing them before working at her feet.

"Just keep quiet and we won't have to kill you," One of the yiga said as he tightened the ropes on her when she was brought to the others.

She'd been ripped from her home, her face aching from the beating as she focused on what she could do. But what could she do when she'd been surrounded by Yiga as they took the balloon from their base in the Gerudo Highlands and into the Depths? She wasn't sure how long had passed since she'd been taken late at night, just that she was exhausted and needed to escape.

Y/N adjusted in the room, peeking again. She blinked as she noticed the seal on the doors and sighed. There was absolutely no way of getting out unless she took out the Yiga that'd sealed the door.

A sudden alarm sounding, a horn, made her jump and duck down as she heard an explosion down below. A shadow loomed over the window as the Beam Emitter had gone off before it was ultimately destroyed and the doors ripped open.

Ganondorf came in and locked onto her quickly, his usual stoic expression replaced with unfiltered joy as he hurried to her, taking her in her arms and holding her tight. "You're alright," He whispered.

Y/n clung to him, shaking. "You know how to make an entrance," She giggled softly. "Please. I want to leave."

"Hold onto me," he commanded. She did so, blushing as he lifted her and walked to the edge of the cliff, jumping down. He dropped to one knee as the impact of their combined weight echoed around them.

"Master Ganondorf!" one of the Yiga members gasped before being knocked out by Link.

"She alright?!" He called over the sounds of the battle.

"Yes. Let's go!" Ganondorf barked as he hurried her to a strange Zonai Vehicle. "Hold on."

"Oh goddess, did Link build this monster?" She whispered as he set her down, taking hold of the cannon attached. She ducked, covering her ears as it charged and fired into the clump of Yiga that aimed for Link.

He hurried to the vehicle and took hold of the steering stick as Ganondorf manned the canon, hurrying across the rugged terrain.

Y/N gulped as she saw the Yiga pursuing quickly and scanned the skies, paling as she locked onto the glider.

"Incoming!" She yelled, pointing to the glider with a canon of its own attached.

They didn't have enough time as the Yiga attacked, blasting the vehicle apart and knocking them in different directions.

Y/N groaned as she tried to sit up before being ripped to her feet. The knife against her throat made her whimper as Ganondorf stood, glaring furiously at the Yiga.

"Let her go," Link snarled, on his feet as he pulled out his sword.

"Not a chance! Return our master to us and we might spare her!" The Yiga member snapped. "We have you surrounded, Link. It's over."

Link clenched his jaw as he eyed his surroundings, noting the multiple Yiga members all twirling the blades menacingly.

"You will spare her," Ganondorf said simply. "She is mine. You won't hurt her."

Y/N's heart skipped as the Yiga shifted, looking at Ganondorf as his eyes locked onto hers. "Y/N, I swear to you, I'll get you home."

"Ganny," She whispered, surprising her with the determined look he gave her before nodding, the blade nipping at her skin. "I know you will. I trust you."

"Wait what?" The Yiga asked, staring at Ganondorf in almost horror as his arms loosened.

Ganondorf moved too fast for even Link to react as he suddenly ripped away the Yiga's blade from Y/N and snapped his arm. The man yelled in agony as Y/N grimaced at the sickening crunch before being pulled against the massive figure that hurried back to Link's side.

Link moved in front of them, guarding them as Ganondorf quickly checked her for injury, examining her throat.

"I-I'm okay," She assured him as his eyes locked onto her cheek. The bruise, she realized. "You know how I am. I wouldn't let them take me without a fight," She joked softly. She gulped as his eyes darkened and his breath picked up. "Ganny?" She whispered.

"They hurt you," He rumbled before straightening and glaring down at the remaining Yiga members that staggered. "Which one of you was it?" He asked simply, even making Link shiver in fear.

Link glanced back to see Ganondorf glaring squarely at the shifting Yiga members before reaffirming his grip on his weapon. "Better answer him," He said simply. "He doesn't fuck around when it comes to her."

Ganondorf stepped forward, looming over the Yiga members. "I will reduce you to ash and resurrect you in the flames of Death Mountain until I have decided you've had enough. For three days, she was missing. For three days, I will destroy your body and rebuild it and repeat this until you are just as broken as the clan you claim loyalty to. Now, which one of you was it?"

Rather than answering, the Yiga fled, leaving the three in the underworld only lit by the nearby Lightroot.

Escaping the Depths was much easier, given the balloons now stationed at every Chasm. Ganondorf lit the flame as Link rubbed a soothing balm into her raw wrists. Slowly, the balloon began to climb up into the air.

"I'm okay. Really," She offered, smiling. "Thank you."

Link sighed, shaking his head. "You're learning how to fight. No questions about it. You'll have to put away your books to learn it though."

"What? No!" She whined, making him smirk as he elbowed her before nodding to Ganondorf. The man was still glaring into the darkness as if challenging anyone to come near them again.

Link's elbow bumped against her side as he smiled at her. Y/N blinked when he winked and stood, dramatically crying out in false fear. "Oh no! I'm going to fall! Ah!"

Y/N blinked as Link jumped from the hot air balloon, leaving both her and Ganondorf to peer over the edge to see his paraglider open up as he glided down into the Depths.

"How has he lived into adulthood?" Ganondorf muttered.

"No clue. Zelda says he's too wild for his own good," She responded before glancing at him. His amber eyes kept fixated on Link even after he'd vanished into the darkness. "Ganondorf…are you alright?"

"I should ask you that," he sighed as he finally looked at her as they sat. He reached forward, fingers grazing over her cheek. "Does it hurt?"

"Aches, but it's nothing that a bit of rest won't help." She gulped when his thumb rubbed over where the blade had gently nicked her, smearing the small drop of blood that seeped out. Her heart began to hammer as he moved closer.

He pulled her close, resting his chin on her head as he cradled her to him. Slowly, she relaxed into his hold and hugged him. "I'm glad to have you back alive," he sighed finally.

She smiled. "Wouldn't have done it without you." She adjusted and kissed his cheek. "Stop saving me so much. I'm starting to feel like a damsel," She joked.

Ganondorf only smiled, ignoring the way his heart hammered as he hugged her to him again as the balloon sailed over the Chasm edge and into the orange Hyrule sky.

#redeemed ganondorf series #ganondorf x fem!reader #totk ganondorf #rehydrated ganondorf #ask request #ask me stuff #tw violence #tw fighting #tw canon typical violence #link jumps out of the balloon

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unpretty · 2 years

Note

do you mind sharing what web browser add ons you use? you seem to know your stuff and i feel like there's helpful stuff i've missed

my firefox extensions are pretty boring and sometimes cringe

AliExpress Superstar - okay so this one is the cringiest one. i like to buy a lot of dumb shit and it gives me a camelcamelcamel-type graph of what the price has been doing because sellers on ali love to have 'sales' that actually cost more than the item does normally. not really useful unless you also love bad decisions.

BitWarden - i switched to bitwarden as my primary password manager from lastpass and i regret nothing. i've been using the free version no problem but i keep meaning to upgrade so i can use my yubikey again.

ClearURLs - this gets rid of all the stuff after the ? in a url, in theory. lately it's been missing some cruft in twitter urls, and also has been interfering with pocket somehow? very confusing. i give this one a mixed review.

Facebook Container - keeps facebook in an isolated shame zone so they don't know what i'm up to.

Firefox Multi-Account Containers - firefox has containers built in but you need the extension if you want to set certain urls to always open in certain containers (i do this for amazon, aliexpress, google, and twitter because i don't trust them). iirc they recently added security features that maybe make the containers obsolete anyway? idk man

Greasemonkey - for installing userscripts like the ones on greasyfork. i don't have as many of these as i used to, but whatever.

Ignore X-Frame Options - this one's Niche lmao. websites disable loading in an x-frame because they don't want their site being embedded on another website or whatever but that means comic-rocket doesn't work on their site. and i like using comic-rocket to keep track of where i'm at so i can go back later if i accidentally forget to read anything for six months. which has happened. anyway that's the only reason i have this extension. hiveworks please stop blocking comic-rocket, i already disabled adblocking for comic-rocket, i'm not going to disable ads for every comic on your fucking network, calm down.

Library Extension - EVERYONE SHOULD INSTALL LIBRARY EXTENSION. god. it has saved me so much money. stopped me from so many impulse purchases. and it lets me look up whether something is on scribd instead of just the library which is handy for me specifically, since i have scribd and my library can be limited.

Inoreader Extension - i use inoreader so i have the extension. pretty self-explanatory. tells me how behind i am on reading the entire internet, also makes it easy to subscribe to feeds when i find a new one.

RSSPreview - firefox used to let you preview rss feeds by default but they broke it because they lack my dedication to keeping rss alive

Snap Links - okay. this one is maybe a weird one. it lets me click and drag with the right button to make a box and then open every link in the box in a new tab. sometimes there is a long list and i want to read all the things. or else load up a bunch of forum pages to read while i'm offline.

Something Awful Last Read Redux - i don't have to explain myself to you but also you will take keyboard nav out of my cold dead hands

SponsorBlock for YouTube - self-promo is fine but i don't need to hear about expressvpn

stutter - it does that thing where it lets you read things one word at a time to read really fast. i already read pretty fast but sometimes this forces me enough to focus on something when i'm having attention issues.

Stylus - this is the good one after stylish turned into spyware or whatever. i need to be able to tweak css to live.

Tapas RSS Button - tapas still has rss feeds but it hid them so i installed a thing to bring the buttons back. i could probably be using a userscript for this but whatever.

Translate Web Pages - it's pretty much google translate, i feel like there must be a better one because this one kind of sucks to configure but i'm lazy

uBlacklist - just recently installed this to never see pinterest or fandom.com in my search results. i will probably add more shitty websites as time goes on.

uBlock Origin - still my ad and script blocker of choice. makes it relatively easy both to block elements as well as to opt out and explain that i clicked that ad on purpose, which is a thing i do sometimes and i need my ad blocker to respect my poor choices without forcing me to permanently enable whatever website i wanted to see.

Web Scrobbler - yes i still use last.fm in 2022 and will continue to do so. i am trying to get scrobbling from rockbox to work as we speak. it's 2022 but i'm reverting back to 2008. catch me on myspace soon probably.

XKit Rewritten - imagine using tumblr without xkit. i would die.

#original #how to internet #i didn't actually need to tell you ALL of them like i'm confessing my sins but here we are

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kanmom51 · 1 year

Text

JK's live 4 March 1:47 am KST

Part 2

Cr./ to all the creators of the media used in this post.

So, where were we?

Oh yes, Tae left the live.

Just after this is when JK takes a pause and decides to open up about the gym incident.

“I am human too”

I have already kind of addressed this in my previous post.

But you see, watching the full live I realized that what we were given, in the clips and the translations, was not everything that JK said. Watching the live, it feels even more. More honest and more raw. Man was wearing his heart on his sleeve.

I did try to download this, add the subtitles, cause damn, it doesn’t download with the subtitles embedded. But turns out I’m kind of shit with the IT and tech stuff and it just didn’t work. And I really really wanted you to see the full thing. So, I’m trying to link this timed to the right spot, but if it doesn’t work, start watching at: 1:30:00 or around that timestamp. Be patient. Don’t fast forward from that timestamp and don’t stop until it’s over.

Kanmom’s orders.

Watch these YT links on Youtube. That button on the bottom left.

youtube

He talks about this for around 6 minutes. 6 whole minutes.

Seeing the full 6 minutes, a couple more things stood out to me. On top of what I wrote in my above linked post.

One of them was this:

And we knew he asked not to come seek him out when it’s not an official schedule, private times in other words.

He talks about other army, you know, the respectful ones, those that don’t stalk him at the gym (and more to come, that’s the point I’m going to reach. I promise I’m on my way there).

He keeps going back to how thankful he is. And we know he is. JK loves Army.

And here comes my punch line:

This part here, to which he once again adds also when he is working out. It was left out of the translations or the clips that were shared.

And why oh why is the first thing I think of the White day photo? You know, that photo of them spending time together in a restaurant on White day. A restaurant that they frequented but stopped visiting since that day. Do you think maybe that had something to do with it? You know, the breach of their privacy?

And the home reference too. We know what he’s talking about.

I don’t know why, but him referencing those two hits harder. I think understandably so. Even his home, the physical place where he’s supposed to feel safest is not safe. And I’m not going to say the word anymore, because this isn’t something new. What’s new here is that he has finally spoken up against it. And it took being drunk to do so.

The second point has to do with those 3 characteristics a person should have according to JK. Remember them?

Respect, understanding and consideration.

If only these ‘fans’, so called fans, obsessed human beings, would take the time and listen to the person they supposedly love but don’t really (what they are is obsessed with a character they created in their head, one that mostly has nothing to do with who JK actually is).

JK ends this with a bow. He bows to us.

Like goddamn heartbreaking.

“Army, why do you cheer for us?”

Writing these words down I’m tearing up.

This here. This is where I literally broke down.

His talk about privacy was painful to hear, but these words, that he repeated twice towards the end of his live, out of nowhere, a pensive look on his face, stopping to inhale and ask again. These words. They broke me.

youtube

(Start at 2:00:07 timestamp. We always talk about context. Not looking at something torn from it’s surroundings. What came before and after, that means a lot. So start watching from that point).

It’s not only the words, that as of themselves show such vulnerability. It’s the look on his face, the pauses, the facial expressions while thinking about it, before saying, while saying it.

After a few seconds he gathers himself up, he realizes this was a little too heavy, and he tries to move on.

My heart broke into 1000 pieces at that point. And you can say that I’m being melodramatic, and maybe I am, but at that moment, and even now writing this, a tear running down my cheek, I feel him. And what he meant can be interpreted 1001 ways, but one thing I do think is irrefutable – it came out of pain. Maybe 2 things. He wouldn’t have said it if he wasn’t drunk, which he really was by this point. And we all know wine loosens the tongue.

Can’t tell you that JK singing Lonely did my emotional state any good either.

JK falling asleep.

Bless his heart. He was drunk (toward the end it was REALLY showing), and tired and said he’s going to rest a little bit. But you know, just like JM told us, one minute he’s there with you and the next he’s out.

So, our Jungkookie, yes ours, fell asleep and started snoring, and around 15 minutes into that I guess the staff, who most likely tried to call him to wake him up and shut off the live, gave up on it and shut it down remotely, lol.

If you want to see those 15 minutes, or listen to them:

All and all this wasn’t an easy watch. There were fun parts. There were cute and funny parts. But there was also a heavy atmosphere surrounding it.

Please don’t take this where it’s not supposed to be going. I have never and will never claim to know JK’s mental state. Nor have I ever used the word that starts with D, and I won’t now either. I am not a therapist or a psychiatrist and have zero diagnostic skills.

Saying that, I am a mature person with life experiences, that include going through my own hardships in life, and including living with, loving, taking care of a neuro divergent daughter diagnosed with the pesty D word.

There are clear signs that JK is going through something.

Look, if indeed we are correct and JK is neuro divergent, this alone - no work no set schedule or structure time, it’s not really doing him good. Not having this structure, the timetable to work with, the set schedule with those around him to nudge him on, it throws him off kilter.

Then you have his introvert nature, keeping him at home much of the time.

Add to that his catalyst, his anchor is working to his bones, literally (have you seen him in his live last night?) at the moment, and the three people that grounded him over the years: Jin, Hobi and JM, are now kind of not around, not available, either at all or not enough.

And as if that wasn’t enough, then we have Bam not being well. He told us himself that Bam not being there to greet him was hard on him. Not to mention the worry for his health too.

One positive sign I did notice was the weight gain. I said it before. He was too skinny. And I don’t think that JM’s comment during JK’s mukbang live was just being cute. He was genuinely happy JK was eating.

Look, like JK said, and this is something I’ve been stressing since day 1. These guys, they’re human. I mean they have been trying to tell us this too, but some fans still struggle with the concept. And realizing that they might not be in the best mind space is something they are not willing to come to terms with (the fans that is).

JK drinking alone (yes, that means something too), getting drunk alone (and don’t give me that “but he’s with army bull”) that means something too. Him also needing that liquid courage to come out and say what he did to Army, that means something. And JK sharing what he did about his privacy. JK asking us why we cheer them. That is a person that is going through something. I can’t seem to find a better word than struggling.

It’s like when you come to the end of a road in life and still don’t have a clear path moving forward, f.i. finish high school, without a clear career or purpose paved ahead. It can be overwhelming and takes getting used to. And during that time of adjustment, you are a little lost.

This unclear future has been a reality they have all been living in since 2020. But they were living it together. And JK had JM strapped to his hip the whole time. Now it’s them each doing it on their own. Even RM is struggling, he shared some of it with us. JK, he’s the youngest, the one that has needed these young men around him, and they are/will be disappearing on him one by one.

Oh, and how could I forget, them disappearing…the why. All I’m going to say is this: Military service. One more stress factor for many reasons (worries for himself, worries for his loved ones, worries for the separation, worries for what happens during and after).

On top of that, for some time now JM has been super busy and that hip band, the one that connected them, it’s ripped. It’s not easy to get used to that kind of new reality. Think about it for a second. Who is that person that was always there the second JK was in pain, physical and emotional? He’s not absent per say, but he’s also not 100% available either. That’s life, we all live it, well most of us, our significant others aren’t with us 24/7, we don’t work together (some of us do), we don’t spend all our spare time with each other. Doesn’t make us any less strong as a couple, maybe just maybe it makes us stronger.

But for JK this wasn’t his reality for 10 years. Since the moment JM joined, they were more or less inseparable. And those that still live in that K-drama narrative where JK used to hate JM need to wake up and watch the content. Cause boys were close. Sleeping together on the floor outside the bed room so they can get up earlier and go practice together close. JK talking to JM about wanting to give up singing and JM talking him out of it close. JK hugging JM in his sleep close. And this the early years, before we even dreamt they were anything but friends. Close friends. JM even then being JK’s emotional anchor.

I keep going back to AHL and the kidnapping. Hate the show, despise the episode, but one thing you learn from that episode, and that is that JM is JK’s person. How one second it’s Suga sitting next to JK, and the next it’s JM. Cut, edit, we don’t know what went down but all of a sudden it’s JM sitting next to petrified JK. And as they are taking off their socks you even see JM patting JK carefully (on his leg), just a soft touch to calm him down.

So yeah, this person means the world to JK. Since forever. And JK has been somewhat spoilt. Because of their work and their lives and he got to have JM with him almost 24/7. But not anymore, and more so lately, now that JM has all these projects on top of a first solo album coming out.

To end my over lengthy and maybe boring to some Ted talk, all I’m getting at is that we can see JK is a little off. Anyone with eyes but without their army fantasy biased filters can see it. Sit a non army, non fan, someone who doesn’t even know who JK is, to watch this live and they will tell you something’s off. And it’s ok to say it out loud people. Doesn’t mean you love him less. I’d even say it kind of means you love him more. Because you SEE him. Like he wants us to see him. As human. With feelings. And wants. And needs. And faults. And struggles.

And bottom line, JK, I hope and have to believe that he’ll be ok. At the end of the day, he is surrounded by those that love and support him. He has a bf who is crazy about him and that we’ve seen in the past is there for him, fully. He has family that love and support him. It’s just a hard adjust. And it takes getting used to.

After finishing up my post I came by this clip, which I would like to share with you all. Some what of a fitting ending to my post:

#Jungkook #JK #JK live #JK Wlive #Youtube

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thecatduet422 · 2 years

Text

PART ONE

bakugou x reader

Rating: Teen

Tags: romance, fluff, aged-up characters, time skips, flashbacks, no beta

Summary: Extra. Princess. Nerd. Names Katsuki called you when he was trying to piss you off.

And then the one he had for you when he wasn’t.

AO3 Link (where it was originally posted)

PART TWO

At first, he thought you were just some extra.

He remembers the first day of class, when Four Eyes lectured him about his desk.

“Take your feet off of that desk now!” Four Eyes looked down on him. “It’s the first day of school and already you’re disrespecting this academy by scuffing school property, you cretin!”

“You’re kidding me, right?” Katsuki smirked. “You’re old school put a stick up your ass? Or were you just born with it?"

“He’s right,” you suddenly whipped around from your seat, eyeing Katsuki with disdain. “You’re being disrespectful.”

“Huh?” Katsuki yelled. “Who the hell asked you?!”

You scanned him up and down, unimpressed.

“No one did,” you replied, holding your head high. “But you’re being improper, and he has a point.”

“Huh?!” he asked again. The way you were looking at him was pissing him off. “You think you’re better than me?!”

You looked at him again, at his feet on the desk. You looked disgusted.

“Yes,” you replied, flipping your hair before returning to your book.

“Oi!” Katsuki abruptly stood up from his seat, towering over you in a challenge. “Who the hell do you think you are, you extra?! I’ll take you on right now!”

“Excuse me?!” you screeched. You stood up from your seat, matching him dead on. “What did you just call me?!”

And then Katsuki saw your eyes. Tiny, translucent jewels embedded into the irises, sparkling and twinkling in the light. Katsuki supposed it was meant to be pretty, but you, with your ugly scowl and piss-poor attitude, somehow made it annoying.

“You heard me,” Katsuki growled, smirking domineeringly at you. He could feel the heat of his palms start to sizzle with rage.

He was going to crush you.

“Extra,” he said tauntingly.

Aizawa-sensei had to separate them. Their desks were moved onto opposite sides of the room, but that still couldn’t stop the bickering that would occasionally rise from the both of you. You were like cats and dogs, completely at odds with one another. The only thing you two had in common was your temper.

You were uptight, snobby, and rude, choosing to stick your nose in a book rather than talk to anybody. And when you did speak, it was to correct someone or butt in with some useless reference from some fancy-ass novel you’ve read. On top of that, you quoted the Hero Constitution constantly, bugging Katsuki and anyone else nearby about what it means to actually be a hero.

You were a royal pain in his ass.

So in retaliation, Katsuki continued to call you an extra, knowing how much you hated it. The nose you kept in the air would scrunch up like you smelled something foul. Your lips would pout and pucker as if you tasted something sour, and then your brows would furrow as those jewel eyes of yours glowed. That's when he knew you were about to explode on him, squawking at him in that painfully shrill voice of yours saying no, you were not an extra!

Your pissed off face was the only interesting thing about you. Which was why Katsuki continued to call you that, even though the rest of his classmates' nicknames were more specific.

And then the Sports Festival happened, and Katsuki found himself about to go up against you.

He was going to beat your snooty ass into the dirt. Once and for all.

But something was different that day. You’ve been quiet, detached. Every time Katsuki saw you, you were tucked away in some corner, your book blocking your face as you read it. He thought nothing of it at the time. He was too busy dealing with Icy-Hot after his insulting declaration against Deku.

And then he saw you fight.

Icy-Hot was throwing everything at you. He tried icing you head on, but you always maneuvered it with ease, jumping and flipping away in just the right time, toeing the edge but always staying within bounds. It was lame at first. Katsuki expected the bastard to knock you out within seconds, and so did everyone else. But you dodged every attack easily, using your super strength to leap into the air at extreme heights. Icy-Hot tried to freeze you then, but you kicked- smashing the ice straight through.

Huh, maybe your quirk wasn't so lame after all. He immediately dismissed it on the first day. Super strength wasn't anything special. A lot of people had variations of it, giving their quirk. And yours wasn't flashy or powerful, nothing like All Might's or any other Hero who used it.

But you were good at combat, and you were able to blend it with your quirk easily. Which was why when you jumped over another ice attack, and landed right in front of Icy-Hot, he used his fire in surprise.

But somehow, it didn't matter. You landed a kick right to his stomach, pushing Icy-Hot out of bounds.

The hell?

"How did she do that?" their classmates said in awe.

"She should've burned."

But you were fine, staring down at Icy-Hot with that annoying little smirk on your face.

"Thanks, Todoroki-kun," you said with a mysterious shine in your eyes, before offering your hand to help him up.

Thanks? What did you mean by that?

Katsuki grunted. It didn't matter. That just meant he got to be the one to beat you himself.

He smiled ferociously.

Finally.

And then it got to the final round, and once the fight began, Katsuki wasted no time.

You were good at using your quirk in combat, but so was he.

Every move you made, he countered, using his explosions to avoid your attacks. And whenever he tried to attack you straight on, you did the same, leaping out of the way to avoid his quirk.

But he expected that, so when you leaped into the air, he used that time to build up the heat in his palms, and when the moment was right…

BOOM.

He launched an explosion at you while you were airborne, similar to what Icy-Hot did with his ice. But there was no way you could counter something like that. It was the biggest explosion he’s ever done, and he did it on purpose. He wanted to see you broken, your snooty face cry from the pain, kicking you off your high and mighty pedestal, permanently.

The arena was covered in smoke.

Katsuki listened, waiting for the announcement that you were out of bounds, or even better, too injured to fight.

But as the smoke waved through the air, slowly thinning out, he heard nothing.

The audience started murmuring to one another, becoming restless with the fact that they couldn’t see you either.

Their reaction made Katsuki nervous, and he frantically started to look around, anticipating a surprise attack.

But then through the smoke, he saw something. A movement that morphed into a shadow, and as it reached the edge of the fumes, the clouds becoming nothing, it gleamed. It reflected against the light, twinkling and sparkling so bright, Katsuki had to squint.

You walked out in a completely different form, one that was solid, translucent, except for the areas that were shining back, exposing hues of rainbow.

Some kind of jewel form.

“Is that all you got, hothead?” you said mockingly, flipping your hair even though it didn’t move, as it was also crystallized.

The audience cheered at the sight of you, oohing and awing at your appearance.

Damn it. Damn it damn it damnitdamnitDAMNITDAMNIT-

“IS THAT ALL I GOT?!” Katsuki screamed, launching himself at you. “NOT EVEN CLOSE.”

You moved to grab him, but he dodged away, aiming an explosion right to your face.

But you held strong. You never cracked.

And the fight continued, the both of you completely destroying the arena. You both raged, yelling and taunting as you punched, exploded, and plowed through everything you could.

You both had only one goal in mind; take this smug asshole rude piece of shit down.

And through it all, you were never able to catch Katsuki.

And he was never able to break you.

“ENOUGH!” Cementoss screamed as giant slabs of concrete finally stopped you.

“It’s a tie!” Midnight cheered.

Katsuki froze. He couldn’t believe it.

“A TIE?!” you both screamed.

They had to chain you both to the podium to keep you from killing each other.

He remembers the night after that, lying in bed, wondering how the world turned upside down. First, Deku gets a quirk. Then, Icy-Hot doesn’t see him as a threat. And then, Katsuki ends up in a tie against you. How did this happen?

He tossed and turned, unable to sleep as whispering thoughts of doubt prodded his mind. He was afraid to even think about it. He refused to even comprehend the fact that maybe he… Maybe he was…

No.

There had to be a winner.

So the next day, Katsuki tracked you down and demanded a rematch.

“Fight me!” he commanded.

“Shhhhhhh!” went the people around him.

Figuring out where you were was easy. It was a free day, and you, being the annoying bookworm that you were, had nothing better to do than spend it at the library.

“Be quiet!” you hushed.

“I want a rematch!” said Katsuki, not bothering to lower his voice whatsoever.

“Can’t you see I’m busy?!” you stage whispered, gesturing to the book you were reading.

“Hah!” he pointed a finger accusingly. “You’re just afraid I'll kick your ass!”

“Shhh!” people repeated, harshly.

You sighed, heavy with frustration. “If I fight you, will you leave me alone?”

He hmphed, smirking victoriously. “Like I’d ever acknowledge you again after this.”

You seethed with rage, your face twisting into that famous sour expression as you slammed your book.

You ended up taking him to an abandoned gym, old and rusty from neglect.

“The hell?! How can anyone train here?” he cried.

“I train here,” you replied, folding your arms as you stuck up your nose.

You assured him it was safe, and that no one would interrupt them.

So they fought, just like they did before.

And he did everything he could to beat you. But you, in that stupid, ridiculous, jewel form wouldn’t budge. You were like Shitty Hair, but better, and your fighting skills were incredible. It pissed him off. His only solace was that you couldn’t pin him down either.

You would charge at him, but he would dodge, using his explosions at the last second. He would try to attack from behind, but you would anticipate it and counter with a roundhouse kick that just barely got him. And it went on and on, and soon enough, Katsuki realized they were falling into a pattern.

Charge.

Dodge.

Attack.

Counter.

Over and over and over again. And it seemed that no matter what Katsuki did, he couldn’t get out of it. Whatever move he tried, you picked it up. It was like a black hole, inescapable. No matter how much they tried to break the pattern, they would just fall back in.

They kept fighting until they couldn't. Until you were both lying on the ground, covered in sweat, nothing moving but the rise and fall of your chests. Hearing nothing but the desperate panting you both made as you struggled for air.

He was actually tired because of you.

"C-Can we…" you panted. "Can we call it a day?"

You were pleading with him.

And Katsuki wondered, if he said no, if he wanted to keep going, would you follow him?

There, lying on the ground, he looked up. He looked up at the cracks in the ceiling, the mold gathering in the corners, the shitty lights that were rapidly flickering, barely alive. All while being consumed with the thought that you were no extra.

And he couldn’t call you that anymore.

"Yeah," he nodded as his breath caught up to him.

They continued to meet up after that.

It would always be at that shitty gym. Why, he didn’t know, but you would insist on it, nagging at him in that stupid voice that it had to be there.

“It’s tradition,” you would say.

And Katsuki would give in, as long as you would just shut up and fight already.

And you did, following the pattern, trying desperately not to.

“Come on, hothead. You can do better than that,” you taunted, baring another explosion.

Hothead. Your nickname for him. You started using it more and more, while he was trying to find a new one for you.

What was he supposed to do, call you by your actual name?

As if.

You were still aggravating. You, with your pompous-ass attitude, clutching your book to your chest. You, in that stupid crystal form, acting like royalty.

So he started to call you princess, always in mockery. He would draw it out, dip it in sarcasm, make it sound insulting. You would get annoyed, but not nearly as much as extra did. And during the moments when you really pissed him off, Katsuki found himself wishing he could find another name, one that could recreate the face you made. The ugly one, with the scrunched up nose and the puckered mouth. Katsuki wondered why he liked it so much, and then he realized it’s because you often looked pretty, with those jewel eyes of yours. Everyone commented on them and told you how pretty they looked.

It annoyed the hell out of him. So when you made a face, one that revealed how ugly and imperfect you actually were, Katsuki reveled in it. Even more so when he was the cause of it.

So, he would try out different names when you fought, thinking if he pissed you off enough, you would make the face and falter.

“Shut up, princess!” he shot back.

“Make me!” You aimed a right hook. He avoided it.

“Try something new for once, nerd!” he growled.

You managed to trap him in a headlock.

“I know what you’re trying to do, Kacchan,” you scolded him, mouth twisting in a frown as he struggled to get out. “It’s not gonna work.”

Kacchan. The name you used when you were trying to piss him off, courtesy of Deku.

It worked.

He roared in frustration, setting off an explosion right next to your ear. As you reeled back, covering your ear in pain, he tried to take you out with a kick, but you managed to dodge it in time.

Charge. Dodge. Attack. Counter.

Again and again.

But something was different that time. That time, you managed to get a hold of him. And that time, he was able to throw you off.

You were both improving, little by little.

And then one time, after the Kamino Incident, you randomly show up at his door.

“Huh?” he said, noting your disheveled appearance. “What the hell are you doing here?!”

“You didn’t show up,” you panted, out of breath. Your brows furrowed, your nose scrunched up, your lips puckered. The face.

You were pissed.

“I waited… FOR THREE HOURS!” you screamed. Katsuki could practically see the steam coming out of your ears, whistling and high pitched, like a hot teapot.

“Of course I didn’t, dumbass!” he shouted back. “We’re not supposed to leave our houses! I was just-” he choked, unable to say the word as failure and guilt crushed his windpipe.

“So?” You put your hands on your hips, raising a brow at him as if being kidnapped wasn’t an excuse.

“So?!” he repeated. “It’s not safe! The League can be anywhere!”

“The world is never safe, hothead. And groups like the League will always exist,” you told him, folding your arms. “That’s why we exist.”

And then you dropped your expression, relaxing your features as you replaced your anger with something else. Something Katsuki didn’t recognize. But it was soft, and your eyes sparkled with it, and he couldn’t help but think, in that moment, everyone was right. You were pretty.

“You really gonna let that stop you?” you asked quietly, tilting your chin up in a silent challenge.

Of course he wasn’t. But the old hag would never let him.

And when he told you that, you smirked. “What? Chicken?”

Later that night, as the old hag screamed at him for sneaking out, he thought, you really weren’t that uptight.

And suddenly, even calling you princess felt wrong.

But, he realized, it didn’t matter. As his mind flashed to you, standing outside his door, making the face he wanted, he learned he didn’t have to call you names. He could piss you off in other ways.

Once he figured that out, it became so easy.

All he had to do was show up late.

And suddenly, their fights cranked up to an eleven. If it were possible, you were even more ferocious, more unforgiving. If Katsuki somehow slipped up, you made sure he felt it.

He never felt more alive.

Finally, he met someone who could match him.

But that also meant you were his competition, his rival. And every time it ended in draw, the both of you lying on the floor, utterly exhausted, he felt disappointed. Unsatisfied. He wanted to go again.

And as time went on, the two of you growing into your quirks, becoming more powerful, you were able to.

And so you would, again and again, falling into the same pattern that felt like a dance. And while he wanted to win, wanted to beat you, he also found that he didn't mind. Fighting you was fun.

And as the world continued to be unsafe, as wars were fought, and people died, he found that fighting you was one of the few things he could rely on.

And he thought you felt the same, because as time went on, and they continued their dance, he only learned more about you.

You acted righteous because of your father, a lawyer who was an activist for quirkless rights. He always raised you to be good, to be right. He taught you to value morality and action above everything. An honorable man with good intentions, but sometimes he could be overbearing and critical, making you feel as if you couldn't be wrong without feeling like a bad person.

So you played it docile, choosing to smother your emotions by reading rather than express them. Until Katsuki came along and set you off, because how is it fair he could act out with no consequence while others couldn't?

Especially when he was throwing words around like worthless and extra. Harmful, demeaning words that weren't right.

And Katsuki saw it, that special gleam in your eye whenever they fought. Because after all those years of holding your emotions, you were finally able to get them out.

But as he came to know you, to recognize the small things that told him when you were angry, or sad, or happy, you learned about him too.

Which was why now, when they've graduated from UA and were working in the same agency, you asked him what was wrong.

And when Katsuki ignored you, continuing the dance, you asked again.

And when he didn't answer, you guessed.

"Is it Kirishima?" you asked as you ran at him.

He huffed, flipping up into the air.

"Icy-Hot?" you used your lasso to grab him and pull him down.

He growled as he collided with the ground, choosing to blast you with everything he had. A wild, terrifying bomb of destruction that would've destroyed anyone else. But because it was you, it did nothing.

You laughed as it went off, smiling gleefully. The shrill squawking he once hated grew into bells, chimes that fluttered his stomach whenever you laughed. When once he strived to see you angry and pissed, he now wanted to see you smile, to see you shine and glow with happiness that was all because of him.

"It's Midoriya!" you cheered.

"What?!" he yelled. "No it isn't."

"Oh please, Kacchan," you teased, pausing the fight to flick his nose. "Only he could rile you up this way."

"No!" he swiped at you. "You piss me off all the time!"

"Maybe once," you shrugged. "But hardly anymore. At least, not really."

You smirked, and before he knew it, you had him pinned down, covering your crystallized hands over his palms so he couldn't blast out.

"Tell me I'm wrong," you spoke softly.

It was the first time you were able to pin him. The first time either of you were able to do it.

And as Katsuki looked up into your jewel eyes, sparkling with a secret only of him, he found that he didn't mind.

He huffed. "You're never wrong."

And as he leaned up to kiss you, passionately and heatedly, dragging you down with him, he thought of your name. Not extra or princess or even your real one. The one he came up with when you looked just like this. The one you chose to be your Hero name, after he whispered it to you.

Jewels.

#bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #katsuki x reader #bakugo x reader #bakugou fluff #bakugou x y/n #bakugou x you #bakugou katsuki x you #catduet writes #bakugo x y/n

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queen-haq · 2 years

Text

Fic: A Woman Reborn - Part 20

Pairing: Billy Russo X Reader (from A Woman Scorned)

Rating: R / 18+ only

A/N: This is a sequel to A Woman Scorned and takes place a few years after the events of AWS.

MasterList (includes links to AWS and previous chapters here)

Summary: You and Billy are happily married when tragedy strikes, jeopardizing your relationship and everything you two have built together. Can the two of you find your way back to each other or is the special bond you once shared broken forever?

Billy was afraid to close his eyes, just like he used to be as a kid. At the end of a good day, a rarity for someone who grew up in group homes, he would lay awake in bed, refusing to give into sleep. That way he could cling to the day as long as possible. That same feeling came over him as he watched you lie next to him. You were sleeping peacefully, your hair a tangled mess, love bites on your neck slowly starting to bruise. When you stirred and turned to your side, away from him, he nudged you back gently towards him. Soft mumbles escaped your lips, nothing coherent but bloody fucking adorable nonetheless; you scooted closer before finding the perfect spot to rest your head in the crook of his neck, yours arms and legs splayed along his body. Smiling, he snuck his arm underneath and around your waist, the other bringing your hand to his lips.

Home. That’s what you were to him.

Your smell, your touch, your laugh, your smile.

If only you could see yourself the way he did – pure fucking perfection. You were filled with insecurities, due to all the shit he pulled – and he desperately wished there was someway he could erase all that. Because to him, the real him and not the fucked-up version that emerged right after the accident, you were beautiful, brilliant, funny, loving, everything he ever wanted wrapped up in a gorgeous package – yet there was so much more to you than simply that. You could be devious when needed, vicious when someone got in your way, and you were fiercely loyal. Absolutely no one could fuck with you or the people you cared about and got away with it. He wasn’t as magnanimous, his loyalty began and ended with him, until he fell in love with you. After that, you were embedded in his world forever.

Life without you was unbearable. Everything felt hopeless, a long stretch of pain that ate away at him like a disease until there was nothing left at all. It wasn’t just that he was lonely, your absence in his life went way beyond that. You were his other half, his fucking heart, his soul, and when you weren’t beside him he was a man broken.

You murmured something into his skin, breaking him out of his reverie. He placed an affectionate kiss on your temple, idly caressing the small of your back.

“You’re here.” Sleep weighed heavily in your voice, eliciting a smile from him.

“Where else would I be?”

“Thought you left.”

“Not going anywhere, sugar.”

You tucked your forehead deeper into the hollow of his neck, as if trying to burrow yourself in him completely. The thought made him smile, and he tightened his grip around you.

For a long time the two of you simply held each other, both awake and seemingly in desperate need of solace.

“You’re usually not so quiet after sex,” you remarked in the dark.

He exhaled a long sigh, carefully pondering his words. “If I say the wrong thing it’ll piss you off, and I don’t want that.”

“Never stopped you before.”

“I know what it’s like to lose you, it sucks. Not risking that shit again.”

You didn’t respond.

Silence ensued, the rhythm of your breaths matching his own. He felt calm come over him, the same sensation of peace he would feel when he came home and saw you, touched you, knowing you were a part of his life forever.

You started playing with his hand, pulling his fingers, squeezing his nail beds lightly. Laughter escaped him, emitting a sound that didn’t sound very masculine at all, which prompted you to balance your weight on your elbow and meet his gaze.

“Did you just giggle?”

His cheeks grew hot. “No!”

“You totally did!”

“I don’t giggle.”

That was the wrong thing to say because you started tickling him right away, causing him to burst out giggling. After a few seconds of wrestling around and letting you think you had the upper hand, he finally rolled over and took charge, pinning you underneath him. Out of breath, both of you laughing like idiots, he nuzzled your nose with his. “Hi,” he murmured once he caught his breath.

“Hi,” you replied, reaching up to kiss him.

His hands swept away the hair strands framing your face, revealing the softness in your eyes. It had been a long time since you looked at him with this much love, and he wanted to scream with joy over it. His heart soared, he felt like he could do anything. You wiggled underneath him for a moment, adjusting the position of your legs when it occurred to him that maybe he was too heavy. “I’m crushing you.”

Before he could move away, you locked your grip on him. “No, don’t. I like your weight on me.”

He smiled.

“I miss this…” There was hope in your voice but also trepidation, reminiscent of when your relationship first turned serous. “I miss you.”

He moved to lay his head on the pillow next to yours. Smoothing his fingers over your cheeks, he studied you closely. These days you were so closed off with him, wearing your anger and hostility like an armour to shield yourself against him. Not at all like when the two of you were married. Neither of you had a fucking normal childhood that lent itself to being openly affectionate with your feelings – but that changed when you both fell in love. You were first to say the actual words; it hadn’t been as easy for him. It took him a while to come to terms with his feelings, despite knowing with every fiber of his fucking being that he belonged to you completely. And throughout all that time, you were always patient and loving while he got over his stupid hang-ups. Now it was his turn to be patient with you. “You haven’t said that in a long time,” he remarked softly.

“I…know.”

Your emotions ran the gamut from joy to despair, all fleeting across your face. Your refusal to elaborate spoke volumes. He sensed your longing for him but also fear, and it hurt like hell to know all of your uncertainties were justified. Smiling warmly, he cupped the side of your face. “You looked fucking gorgeous tonight.”

“I did?”

He smirked. “The dress was beautiful, but you look better without it.”

“I think it’s still on the bathroom floor.”

He looked over his shoulder at the bathroom entrance. “Yup.”

“I should go pick it up.”

He pulled you closer, nuzzling your cheek. “You’re not moving from this bed, sweetheart.”

It was your turn to chuckle as his beard scraped your skin. “Can’t believe you let me rile you up about Roger.”

“Always hated that fucking prick.”

“How much did you enjoy knocking him around?” You smirked, eyes twinkling.

“He threatened you. He deserved it.”

“You know you can’t keep doing that, right? There are a lot of people who don’t like me.”

Jaw clenched, he regarded you closely. ‘And if they touch you they’ll pay for it.”

It caught him by surprise when you reached out to trace the scars on his face gently, fingertips grazing them so lightly it felt like air soothing his skin. He closed his eyes, leaning into your touch, deliriously happy . So long since you looked at him with so much love and affection, he missed you. He ached for you.

“I still remember that night at the sex club.”

He stiffened. Even now it pissed him off. The two of you had been married for seven months at that point, and he thought things were going great - until that night. At the time he had taken a short well-paying contract to offer around the clock protective services for some rich Arab heiress that had him working all hours of the night. The princess was gorgeous and constantly flirting with him, he didn’t deny that, but for whatever fucking reason you got it in your head that he was crushing on her too. At first he was thrilled by your jealousy, you didn’t often act possessive even though the emotion was second nature to him when it came to you, but then when he realized you genuinely worried about him fucking around on you – that made him lose his mind. It was one of the biggest fights the two of you had and it ended with you storming off. You turned up hours later at the same sex club the heiress was at, to spy on him no doubt, only for him to find the heiress blatantly hitting on you. Oh, he fucking lost it after that.

“I thought you were gonna punch her across the face,” you said with a mischievous smile.

“She had her hands all over you. If you hadn’t pulled me away, I probably would have knocked her out.”

“Most guys would have jumped at the threesome she offered.”

“Why would I be happy about someone else trying to fuck you? You’re mine.”

Suddenly an image of you and that blind fucker struck his brain. Right away he gave himself a mental shake, refusing to fall into that hellhole. No, that was over. A temporary thing. No way in hell was he gonna let anyone get that close to you again.

“You okay?” Your voice was a soothing balm on his wounded scars, the concern in your eyes reaffirming your love for him.

He took your hand and brought it to his lips, planting a kiss on your skin. As long as you were with him, he was fine, because without you he was nothing.

You cupped his cheek, thumb idly stroking his cheek. “You look tired.”

“Haven’t been sleeping much.”

“Why?”

A sad smile formed along his lips. “Can’t sleep when you’re not beside me.”

“I’m here now.” You drew him closer, prompting him to move and rest his head on your left breast – his favourite position. There was something about snuggling his head against your beautiful tits and hearing your heartbeat through your skin that made him feel unbelievably safe. And then you started running your fingers through his hair, brushing the strands gently, and it was like he was floating in air. His eyes felt heavy, and within seconds he was asleep.

***

Fireworks rocked through your body, snapping you back to reality. Your skin was slick with sweat, your heart pounding, every nerve in your body heightened. You only had one thought, one feeling – pleasure, rushing through your veins, making your blood sing with euphoria, drowning out every fucking sensation except Billy’s mouth ravaging your cunt. Too much one second, absolutely not enough the next, your body oscillated back and forth between screaming for relief and yearning for more.

“Open those beautiful eyes, sweetheart. I need to see you when I go down on you.”

His voice was a low rasp, stirring your soul in the same way his tongue danced around your clit.

Your hips arched up, trying to get closer to his face as he teased you. You fisted the sheets, groaning, keening under his expert touch as he delved his tongue inside you. Suddenly you felt his palm lightly slapping your cunt, jolting you wide awake.

“There you are.”

His head was between your legs, a wicked smile on his face, his beard wet. Eyes fixed on you, he tilted your hips upward and returned to sucking your clit.

“Billy!” you mewled, grabbing onto his hair for leverage. There was a storm unfurling in you and you couldn’t control it, couldn’t stop it – you were helpless and you didn’t fucking care.

“Such a gorgeous, pretty cunt you have. Always so hot and wet and tight for me, aren’t you sugar?”

“Please…”

“I missed your sweet fucking cunt so goddamn much,” he murmured, blowing air softly on your exposed skin. “Keeping your pussy from me, playing hard to get. It’s not right. You can’t just give me a taste of heaven and then snatch it away.” His hand lightly slapped your cunt again, except this time he curved his fingers inside you after. “That could break a man, you know? Is that what you want? To break me?”

You clutched his hair tighter so that it would hurt. “Yes.”

He laughed, nipping at your inner thighs. “Always the bitch.” Wearing a devilish smile, he climbed up your body, trailing wet kisses on your skin. Your heart threatened to explode in your chest at how he looked at you, like he was absolutely ready to devour you.

And over the next hour, he did, fucking you into oblivion.

***

Billy woke up before you and prepared your favourite breakfast, and after the two of you ate you gave him a blow job to thank him. Lazing around on the couch, watching a movie - it was scary how the two of you slipped back into your normal routine. He helped you with laundry and cleaning up the apartment, which took a lot longer than usual because he wanted to take a break every half hour to play with your boobs. He was like a teenage boy, giddy at the sight of your naked breasts, and seeing him so excited made you laugh.

Sitting atop the dining table, naked from waist up, you laced your fingers through his hair while Billy stroked your left breast and his tongue lapped over your right nipple. You’d forgotten how much fun it was just to make out with him, fool around, indulge in foreplay for hours. Gripping the side of your thighs he dragged you closer, the friction from your pussy grinding against the table surface enhancing your erotic pleasure. But then you took charge, straddling him, freeing his cock from his boxers so you could take him in inch by inch.

His face was caught between heaven and hell, ecstasy washing over him when you finally took him inside you fully. Holding his gaze, you kissed him as your hips circled around, grinding down on him.

“Fuck!” he muttered, biting your neck, tongue sweeping over your skin.

You regarded him closely, surprised that the arrogance on his face was now replaced with an expression pulsing with vulnerability and emotion. You’d forgotten that as well, how the love in his eyes made your heart ache so much you couldn’t breathe.

“You’re mine,” he snarled, squeezing your pebbled nipples with his fingers.

This was your Billy. Completely unguarded one moment, cocky and demanding the next. You smirked. “Am I?”

His teeth tugged your lips closer, his bite tantalising. “Say it. Say you’re mine.”

“You’re mine,” you teased.

He rewarded you with a wolfish smile before sucking on your nipples again. “I am yours. And I’m never letting you go.”

There was demand in his voice but there was also menace, and even though you knew better than to goad him, you couldn’t help it. You liked it when he was obsessed with you, when the only thing in his mind was you. “What if I run?”

His hand dug into your back, squeezing you tightly, the same way your pussy clenched around him as you fucked him. “You think I haven’t thought about that?”

Your fingers yanked his hair back, forcing him to look up at you. “What would you do?”

His already darkened eyes seemed to grow darker, pitch black. “I’d steal you away from here, from everyone you know. Take you to the middle of nowhere. A cabin maybe, completely isolated, with no one to hear us when you scream.”

His thumb swiped across your bottom lip and you took his fingers into your mouth, sucking on the digits, before guiding his wet fingers down to your clit. The extra stimulation of him brushing your clit while fucking him drove you completely wild, just like his magnetic voice.

“I’d keep you chained up.” He grunted hard, increasing the rhythmic grind. “And I’d fuck you night and day, so you’d be too fucking exhausted to run from me.”

You were so close to the edge, your body keening with every thrust, your mind euphoric.

“Or maybe I’d knock you up.”

You were too far gone to respond, your body hurling towards climax. Seconds later, so was he.

***

Billy was spooning you from behind, your naked bodies all tangled up together on the couch. One hand played lazily with your hair while the other drew circles on your bare skin. Every part of you was sore and aching all over, but you wanted more. You couldn’t get enough of him. It was the same when you first started sleeping together. Your sex life prior to him could only be described as mediocre but he helped you discover your sexually adventure side and that had rocked your world. Of course things became more intense when he actually started to care about you, because it was no longer just a physical connection that bonded you two. Falling in love made the great sex even more mind-blowing, something you didn’t think was possible.

“I didn’t mean it.”

His wary tone brought you out of your reverie. “What?”

He laced his fingers through yours, squeezing your hand. “What I said about knocking you up.”

You turned around to face him. “And here I thought you changed your mind about kids.”

Concern flitted across his features, hesitation evident in his eyes. “Why? Did you?”

You shook your head. “No. I still don’t want any.”

Relief flooded over his face immediately as he exhaled the breath he was holding. “Good. Because I…” He gave you a tender kiss, needing courage from you. “Don’t want anyone coming between us. The thought of losing you scares the fuck out of me.”

His words were intended to comfort you, but under the harsh ray of light they hit you differently. Before the accident, you had complete faith in him and in your love for each other. You two were a team; nothing could break you apart. But that changed once he lost his memory. Your belief in him was shaken, and the pain of losing him combined with his betrayal had been devastating.

The loss had been so unbearable that you never wanted to risk your heart like that again. People liked to preach that it was better to have loved and lost than not love at all, but you knew that was bullshit. Nothing was more crushing than loss, and the highs of love were not worth the sheer despair of grief.

“What’s wrong?” he prodded.

Fuck. You forgot how he could always pick up on your mood. “Nothing.”

He pulled back to look at you, watching you intently. The air seemed to grow heavier by the minute, so thick with tension that you almost couldn’t breathe. Desperately needing some distance from his intrusive gaze, you sat up and started getting dressed. “I need to finish cleaning up.”

“I can help-”

“No, it’s fine. You look tired. Take a nap.” Faking a smile, you dropped a kiss on his forehead, got up and headed to the kitchen.

The sink was empty, the counters wiped clean. Billy had made breakfast and also cleaned up after himself. That’s not how it worked with you guys. He cooked, you cleaned, both of your preferences complementing each other. But things were different now; you and he were different. There was no going back.

Finding yourself at a loss for what to do next, you poured yourself a glass of water and drank from it. Your stomach was coiled into knots, your soul heavy.

“Let’s talk about it.”

Standing behind you, his voice carried the weight of the world. You clutched your glass, steeling yourself. Taking a deep breath, you turned around to face him. Even now, simply a glimpse of him made your heart flutter. He stood there in his Tom Ford boxers, watching you scrupulously, cataloguing every inch of you. You sensed his desperation and longing for how things were. While a part of you wanted that as well, you knew better. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you shrugged your shoulders. “Why? What’s the point? It won’t help.”

“Running away from us isn’t gonna help either,” he pointed out.

“Last night was great-”

“Babe, you’re not blowing me off with some bullshit-”

“-but too much has happened.”

His expression was somber, his jaw clenched. “Yeah, you’re right. We can’t go back to who we were before, but that doesn’t mean we give up. We can be together now, try again.”

“I don’t want that.”

“That’s fucking bullshit!” He stormed closer, closing the distance between you two. “You still love me. I can see it in your face, I feel it every time you look at me!” He bit out through gritted teeth. “Things are different now. So what? Life happens. People change. You think couples stay stagnant throughout their entire fucking relationship?”

“I don’t care how other people work! This isn’t about them, it’s about me! I need to look out for myself!” You crossed your elbows, tearing your gaze away from him. “I can’t rely on anyone else.”

“You mean you can’t rely on me.”

Your resolve returned, calmness coming over you again. “I can’t, not anymore. Our relationship made me weak, it made me too dependent on you. When you broke my heart, I couldn’t get out of bed for days. I wanted to burn everything down, I wanted to end myself.”

Billy tried to reach out to comfort you but you pushed him away.

“I’m never putting myself in that position again. I won’t.”

“Okay, I get it.” His hands trembled as he grasped your elbow, tugging you closer. “You need time to trust me. Take it. Take as long as you need. But I’m not going anywhere.” He leaned his forehead on yours, eyes pleading with you. “You’re my fucking life. My everything. I trust you, even if you can’t do the same right now.”

You felt numb, disconnected from your own body. A stranger about to watch your world explode from the sidelines. “You shouldn’t trust me. That was a big mistake on your part.”

Billy pulled back to look at you. “What the fuck does that mean?”

You tilted your chin up, staring at him. “I sent Karen an anonymous email. About Cerberus.”

Time came to a sudden stop. The numbness you felt a second ago melted away instantly, your heart squeezing with anguish at the confusion that flooded over his face. You felt his heart beak piece by piece, chipping away at the trust he’d placed in you. “You’re lying.” His voice was hoarse, thick with unshed tears. He shook his head in disbelief, lips twisted with sheer determination to unhear your confession. “You’re just saying that to piss me off.”

“I didn’t tell her everything, that would be too easy and she’d know something was up. So I dropped a few hints over email. Gave her a locker in Florida that has a few paper records of some of the shipments made. Enough to keep her investigating.”

Rage contorted his face, his eyes darkened with fury. “How could you fucking do that to me?”

“I warned you.” Your voice held no emotion even though you felt sick to your stomach. “I told you over and over again. If you kept coming after me, I would destroy you. Gave you every chance to stop but you didn’t. You should have listened.”

“Fuck you!” He punched his fist through the wall, the blow bloody and violent.

The hurt in his voice was agonizing, tearing up your insides. Seeing him so devastated was as excruciating as when you grieved for him, and you didn’t think anything would ever come close to that kind of pain.

“I didn’t walk away because I fucking loved you! And you do this to me? You come after me with this? You’re the only goddamn person I’ve ever trusted with the truth!” He winced, tears streaking his eyes as he stated pacing. “You know what’ll happen if Frankie ever finds out the truth? He’ll kill me! He’s the only fucking family I have in this world besides you but that won’t matter to him, not Frankie! Because he’s not like me, he actually gives a fuck about being good and doing good and when he finds out what I did? When he realizes I was the fucking reason he lost his career? He won’t care that I did it to save Maria and the kids. That won’t matter to him because the only thing he gives a fuck about is his fucking moral code and how I violated it. He’ll come after me with everything he has. That’s what you wanted, right? You wanted to fucking punish me for loving you?"

Every part of you suffered under his hostile glare, feeling shame and guilt surging through you – but you didn’t speak, you revealed no emotion. All this time you wanted him to leave you alone and now he finally would, and yet there was no relief. The persistent festering wound in your heart seemed to grow bigger by the second and threatened to eat you up completely.

“You know what you’ve forced me to do now? If Karen finds out the truth, I have to get rid of her. That’s Frankie’s girl! The woman he fucking loves – and I have to kill her so she doesn’t tell him the fucking truth! Was that what you wanted? You happy now?”

You refused to crumble in front of him. You wouldn’t.

“You wanted to be left alone, right? That’s why you stabbed me in the fucking back?” The contempt on his face broke your heart, reminding you entirely too much of the man he became after the accident when he couldn’t stand you any more. “Hope it was worth it, babe. You fucking ruined us.”

He stormed out of the kitchen. Few minutes later, you heard the door slam in your apartment and realized he was gone.

It was then that you fell apart, dropping to the ground as you sobbed uncontrollably.

***

You didn’t know how long you laid on the kitchen floor. It could have been five minutes or hours, but your tears were all dried up now after crying hysterically for as long as you did. You couldn’t get up, you didn’t even want to. It required too much energy that you didn’t have.

The sun must have set, the kitchen was slowly getting dark. You stared mindlessly at the dent on the wall, the smears from Billy’s blood left behind as a reminder to taunt you.

Suddenly you felt a sharp prick on the side of your neck, like someone had jabbed you with something. You turned around, rubbing the spot.

Krista’s smug face was the last thing you saw before your world went black.

To be continued...

#billy russo x reader #billy russo x you #billy russo #ben barnes #the punisher #a woman scorned universe

283 notes · View notes

seeingivy · 9 months

Text

the softest kind of love

actor!eren x f!reader

**part of my method acting series

content: this is what we call fluff no plot. eren kissing reader every five seconds, me in my easter eggs era. eren and y/n enjoy your last days of your love struck bubble before I ruin your life.

an: you guys had me feeling like the devil incarnate after last chapter. anyways, I put that evilness away for 5k ish words before I unleash my true form again. enjoy <3

song of the chapter: invisible string!!!

previous part linked here

The second Historia walks into the room, Eren pops out of his seat, nearly running to the door to poke his head out. The hallway is empty - except for the crew members setting up the new costumes and fittings for filming next week.

No sign of you.

“You know, you could at least pretend you’re excited to see me.” Historia says, pinching Eren’s arm.

Eren gives Historia a swift hug and a kiss to the cheek before pulling back, his hands resting on her shoulders.

“You okay? How was the reception to the entire thing?”

“Good. More people are coming out. Backing me up.”

“I’m glad, Hisu. It’s nothing short of what you deserve.”

“Tell Y/N thank you, I couldn’t do it without her. Your girl has been bigger than life these days.”

He smiles, squeezing her shoulders once.

“You know. If you told me where she was, I could do it right now. Shouldn’t she be coming for the table read anyway?”

“She isn’t feeling well. She stayed out in the cold to talk to all of the fans that were lined up and then she was stuck in the airport for so long that she didn’t sleep. Levi and Hange gave her the day off to rest.”

Eren immediately runs over to his seat, directly across from Levi and Hange and gives his best smile.

“No, Eren. You can’t have the day off to hang out with Y/N.”

“I’m not going to hang out with her, Levi. Just let me take care of her, she spent two days in the airport after performing and interacting with people all weekend with Historia.”

“Eren. She’ll be fine. She just has to sleep it off.” responds Hange, the two of them scribbling through each other’s scripts.

“I’m not even in these scenes. And you owe me, Levi.” Eren says, narrowing his eyes.

Levi narrows his eyes, flitting his line of vision to the name card next to his seat, and then back to Eren. How was Levi supposed to know that Eren was all but estranged from his half brother?

“If I do this one thing for you, you can’t hold it over my head again.” Levi says, glaring at Eren.

“Thank you!”

Eren leans over the table to give them both a hug before running straight out of the room to the townhouse. Levi brings his hand up to his cheek as he grumbles under his breath.

“Is it just me or is he more touchy lately?”

“Poor, Y/N. He’s probably strangling her to death up there.” Hange responds, laughing.

After speed running through making a bowl of ramen, Eren all but runs up to your room, to find you nestled in your sheets, with a pink nose. You have your lines propped up against your sheets, your face embedded in the pages of your script.

Eren sets down the bowl and snatches your script before he leans down and presses the sweetest kiss known to man to your lips. He can feel you smiling against him, your cold hands coming up to cup his face.

“Eren. I’m kind of sick you shouldn’t-”

He rolls his eyes as he presses his lips to your palms, leaving two soft kisses on where you’re still cupping his face, before he climbs into the sheets with you.

“Tease. I’ve been waiting for a month now.”

“I’m going to get you sick. And then you’ll have to take a day off like I am.”

“I’m already taking the day off today. For you. So just try really hard to not get me sick okay?”

Eren reaches over to your nightstand, where the bowl of ramen is still steaming, and hands it to you. You give him a grateful smile - and Eren’s heart skips a beat - before cupping your hands around the bowl, the steam making your glasses fog up.

“How was it? The entire thing?” Eren whispers, his breath tickling your forehead.

“Good, Eren. They-they really believed Hisu.”

Historia had decided that she wasn’t going to be quiet about what happened with her agent. In fact, she was going to be loud about it.

And she asked for your help, because she wanted to use music to do so. Eren was immediately disapproving, not because he didn’t want Historia to do it, but because he didn’t want you to help her. It’s not that he didn’t believe in you, that he didn’t think the work was important. But what you guys were doing was the equivalent of putting a target on your back and there’s only so much he can protect you from.

You told him you had to do it, that you had to help her and he dropped all his protests and helped you both. The three of you wrote The Man in six hours and then you and Historia immediately went and performed it in New York.

Eren brings his hand up to cup your cheek, his fingers soft against your skin.

“You-you know it doesn’t usually go this way right? I-I don’t want you to-”

“Get my hopes up. I know, Eren. That’s why I’m glad it did work out for her of all people. She-she deserves her spot at the table and roles because she’s a good actress and she-

“I’m not trying to bring you down, Y/N. I-I just want you to be careful. Did you see what happened with Sukuna and Hyla? She’s basically dragging his good name through the mud. I was worried that if it didn’t go over well, they’d start coming for you. And they can be ruthless. And mean. And throw bricks through your bedroom windows and-”

You bring your hand up to Eren’s cheek, his eyes fluttering closed as he sinks into your touch.

“Is it weird having Zeke here, Eren? Does it remind you of-”

“Yeah. Yeah, I guess. Seeing him pisses me off. I like being here because it feels like home. We do other roles and movies but this is always where we come back to. It feels weird to have him intruding in on something like that, you know?”

“This is still our place, Eren. Him being here doesn’t change that.” you whisper.

You rest your head against Eren’s chest, his heart rapidly beating under your ear, as he brings his hands up to your hair. He’s messily braiding through the ends the way you taught him, his hands swiping through your tangled locks.

“We should come up with secret codes. We-we still haven’t told them all we’re dating and I-I’m not embarrassed but we should when it’s-”

“When it’s right, Eren. Maybe when we’re done filming this season, because knowing us I feel like people will catch on the second we start doing press.”

Eren nods, squeezing your shoulder once.

“That one. It means I’m here and I’ve got you.”

You take your elbow and jab it straight into his side, making Eren squirm.

“Ouch, Y/N.”

“That one means that we need a second. To talk to each other, without anyone else around.”

Eren shifts over to your side, reaching forward to secure the loose strands of your hair around your ear.

“And that one. It means I want to kiss you right now but I can’t.”

“God, Eren. We won’t even last a week without them finding out.”

You and Eren amble down six hours later to find all of them milling around in the kitchen and Armin standing there, camera in hand. His polaroids are well littered and taped to almost every wall now, barely an empty patch on the wallpaper.

You make your way over as Eren stops to talk to Armin, Jean and Miksasa giving you quick arm hugs and kisses on the cheek as you run your hand on the wall. You and Eren are smack dab in the middle - the pictures from season one and two at the forefront. Eren comes up at your side, tucking your hair behind your ear.

“Already?” you whisper.

“Can’t help it.” Eren whispers, giving you a smile.

Armin comes up behind you, slinging his arm around your shoulder and standing in between you two as you rest your head against his.

“Hey ‘Min. I just got to the end of the script, you’ve got some really big scenes this season. I thought we were going to have to put you on the death wall there for a second.”

“I’ve got a feeling that I’m going to be the victim of Levi’s insane standards this season instead of Eren.” Armin grumbles.

“Thank god. He’s ruthless.” Eren says, as he gives the both of you a pat on the shoulder before walking away.

“I heard that, brat.” Levi says, walking into the kitchen with Hange and Erwin in tow.

Armin gives Levi a sheepish smile as he walks away, finishing his season pictures. Levi beelines to your side, placing his hand flat against your forehead to check your temperature. You swat his hand off as you give him a smile, the two of you leaning against the wall to watch everyone.

Bertholdt and Sasha are fighting over a very lazily played game of Scrabble while Eren and Hange play a very intense game of ninja around Reiner and Mikasa’s cookie frosting.

“So are you guys dating?” Levi asks.

“Are you going to give me some unsolicited dad advice if I say yes?”

“Obviously. That’s part of my job description.”

You look over at him and give him a sheepish nod, confirming his suspicions. You don’t miss the way his face breaks out into a smile, which has your cheeks burning with the mushiest, sweet feeling you’ve ever felt.

Levi may not actually be your dad, but his approval means the world to you all the same.

“Good.” he says, looking over at the two of them - aggressively arguing over who won their game of Ninja.

“That’s it? Good?”

“I’ll save my unsolicited dad advice for Eren. Give him that whole ‘hurt my girl and I’ll kill you spiel’” he says.

“Spoken like a true father, Levi.”

Levi squeezes your shoulder once before tucking you into his arm, his embrace warm. He clears his throat as he talks and you swear his eyes are watering.

“Hange and I are doing a vow renewal at the end of this season. We haven’t told anyone yet because we’re just going to do a small thing in the backyard on the last day. But if you and Eren could write a song for us to do the first dance to, I’d really love it if you-”

“Shut the fuck up. You want us to write a song?”

“Language. It’s a surprise for Hange, they’re really into that whole music, serenading thing.”

“Really, Levi? You’d let us do something that important?”

“Eren is Hange’s favorite. You’re mine. And I’ll kill you if you tell anyone I admitted that out loud.”

You can feel the tears welling in your own eyes as you look over at Eren and Hange laughing near the sink and Levi smiling at you, every little part of your heart touched by the sentiment.

“Permission to say something cheesy?”

“No, Y/N.”

“I love you, Levi.”

He rolls his eyes, a deep sigh leaving his chest, before he responds.

“Yeah, yeah. Love you too, kid.”

Eren and Levi switch places, Armin pushing the two of you closer together to take the last season start polaroid.

“Okay, guys. What’s the pose this year?”

You and Eren give each other a look, before pulling up your sleeves at the same time. Armin gives you two a shocked smile as you stand to the side, pointing at each other's matching tattoos for the picture.

The second Connie catches sight of it, he immediately runs over with his camera, the bright light flashing in your face.

“This is part like ONE HUNDRED of the L/N-Jaegers. I-they have matching fucking tattoos oh my fucking god.”

You shuffle through the mess of letters Levi gave you - the ones he wrote Hange when they worked on La La Land together - to piece together the lyrics for your song. You and Eren agreed that it should definitely be a soft piano ballad, which is more their speed for this backyard vow renewal they’re having.

The letters are enough to bring tears to your eyes alone - the line between Levi faking letters for their method acting to really falling in love with Hange crystal clear. Because he went from writing her fake prose, soft flowery poetry to sharing memories with them, about himself.

Which is saying a lot, because Levi’s like a book glued shut.

Pictures of him from when he was younger, in Centennial Park with his parents. Him working a stupid job at a yogurt shop in between roles in Los Angeles. Him trying Hange’s favorite restaurant and sending her a very scathing review back.

That’s what love is, isn’t it? Sharing every little part of yourself and every feeling you’ve had - ecstatic, overwhelmed, happy, sad, bored, and soft.

You start scribbling the broken fragments of lyrics swimming in your mind into the notebook, your hand not moving fast enough for the places your head is running.

“Time, mystical time, cutting me open than healing me fine? You’ve got a weird mind, kid.”

You look up to find Zeke peering over your shoulder, before settling into the seat at the table right across from you. You immediately drop your pencil right into the book, instinctively looking to the left.

Right. Eren already left for set.

“Ah. They’re song lyrics.”

“That’s right. You’re the singer.”

There’s a tone in his voice, one you can’t place that sends a wave of discomfort down your spine.

You’re trying your best. To give Zeke a clean slate, to not let what Eren said taint the view you had of him because you should form your own opinions. But god does he give you the shivers, his entire aura ice cold - the complete opposite of the warm, fireplace Eren reminds you of.

“I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Zeke. I’m Eren’s brother.”

“He mentioned. Welcome to the cast, I hope you’re liking it so far.”

He gives you a smile as he readjusts in the seat, sinking down into the chair.

“So what did he tell you? You’re looking at me like I’m the figment of your worst nightmares.”

“He didn’t say anything to me. You-you just caught me off guard because I was in the zone and stuff.”

“I haven’t talked to my brother in a while. But I still know him. What did he tell you?”

You swallow hard as you start gathering Levi’s letters, tucking them back neatly into their corresponding envelopes.

“Just that you guys don’t talk. Aren’t very close. It just came up once, he-he’s met my brothers before and just said you guys aren’t like that.”

“And you hate me for it?”

“No. No, I don’t hate you.”

“But he does?”

“Eren doesn’t hate you, Zeke. You just hurt his feelings, that’s all.” you respond, whispering the secrets he told you in confidence into the air.

Zeke sits back in his chair, his legs spread across the length of the seat as he gives you a smile.

You can already feel your heart sinking, irritated at yourself for even giving Zeke a sliver of information Eren wouldn’t have wanted you to mention.

“You love Eren, don’t you?”

“No, I don’t. I was just saying that because-”

“Would you believe me if I told you I had to stop talking to him? For his sake?”

“No. Who does that? He’s your brother. I can’t even imagine going a day without talking to my little brother, he’s literally my entire world.”

“Would you do it if it meant protecting him?”

He gives you a look as you ponder the question, the dilemma he just presented you with. Would you stop talking to Falco if it meant protecting him?

“Of course, I would. I love my brother. I-I’d do anything for him.”

“And I would too.” Zeke responds, giving you one last smile before walking out of the kitchen. He passes Eren on the way in, the two of them giving each other an ice cold look before Eren takes the seat next to yours. Eren pesters you about the conversation and you tell him all except for the last part.

You’re not sure if that’s something Eren should know. It would probably just piss him off more.

You watch as the makeup team takes Eren up to the top of the set, the crystal caves they made for the scene glittering in the light. You run your hand against the painted material, each sparkly crevice nearly blinding your eyes.

“They really went overboard with this one.” you murmur, walking with Mikasa.

“They got a bigger budget after last award season. I think they spent it all on this entire scene.”

You both snicker as you run to the sidelines, joining Sasha on the sides. You all sit in your respective seats as Eren, Historia, and Rod take their spots. Levi gives Eren a thumbs up from the directors chair and Eren quickly slips his shirt off, readjusting his hands into the arm restraints.

“Eren! Share the workout routine! I’ll lick those abs.” screams Connie, earning a fair amount of laughs from the cast and the crew.

You can see Eren turning red at the comment, the crew adjusting the last of the microphones and the props onto the set as Levi starts rolling the cameras. Connie leans over, whispering in your ear.

“How does it feel to see someone else living your dream?” he says, a laugh falling out of his mouth.

“What the hell are you talking about, Con’?”

“Historia and Eren are about to be the new couple of the show. I can see the edits already.” he says, poking your sides.

You swat him off, giving him the finger as you focus back on the scene as Eren and Historia start acting in the scene. Your reaction only goads Connie and Reiner on more, the two of them just trying to piss you off now.

“Look at how they look at each other, Y/N. You wish that was you, huh?”

“Shut up, Reiner. We’re literally the main couple of the show. You’d be stupid if you shipped Historia and Eren after the Thank You scene.”

“Feeling territorial over your man, Y/N?” Bertholdt says, the group of them laughing.

“Bertholdt. I thought you were above stupid shit like this.”

“You make it too easy. You’re-you’re looking a little green.” Bertholdt responds, pressing his hands to your face.

“And you’re looking gray. Like a half dead loser who gets eaten by Armin of all people at the end of the season.”

They all laugh at your response as you feel your cheeks burn with irritation, the thought of the entire thing pissing you off. You look up at Eren and Historia, the two of them sitting on the ledge as Eren gets caked in the red makeup for the scene before they start filming again. They’re both smiling, looking down at you guys.

When you make eye contact with Eren, he gives you a wave which you halfheartedly return. Which only fills Connie and Reiner with more delight, because now they’re mimicking you, all of them laughing with tears in their eyes.

“Imagine losing a two season lead to Historia.” Connie says, poking you in the sides.

“Imagine being one of the only characters without a romantic interest. At least my character can get some.” you respond.

“You think they’re method acting? Looks pretty real to me, don’t you think, Y/N?” Reiner says.

You stomp off to the other side of the set, to the snack table, where you’re angrily chewing down one of the pastries when Hange walks over. You can still hear them joking over there, tears flowing out of Connie’s eyes.

“You frown any harder and you’re going to get wrinkles, kiddo.” Hange says, poking the soft of your cheek.

“Sorry.” you respond, your tone harsh.

They give you a laugh as the crew starts pulling Eren and Historia down from the ledge. Historia and Eren are wiping the makeup off each other’s faces as they laugh, chasing each other off the main set as they join the rest of them on the sidelines.

You turn to the side, angrily biting into another pastry on the snack table as you hear them giggling behind you.

“Where’s Y/N?” you hear Eren ask, as he slips his jacket back on.

“She’s moaning and groaning by the snack table.” Jean says, smacking Connie on the back.

“You guys are being mean. You’re obviously hurting her feelings by insinuating there’s something between Eren and Historia.” Mikasa says, shaking her head disapprovingly at them.

“What?” Eren responds.

“We were just joking with her and she got all mad for no reason. You and Historia just looked really romantic up there for a second and we were teasing her about it, saying you’re going to forget all about her.” Connie explains.

You can feel your cheeks burning, the entire situation mortifying as you feel your face turn red. Because them saying it is one thing but telling Eren is another. The crew starts working on getting your harnesses attached for the next scene as Eren walks over, politely asking them if he can have a second with you.

“Hi Y/N.”

“Hi Eren.” you grumble, crossing your hands across your chest.

He gives you a smile as he snakes his left hand around your waist and uses his right hand to cup your face and kiss you straight on the face. He’s pulling you closer with his hand, your cheeks burning at the sounds of them all cheering and screaming a few feet away from you. He lets go after a few seconds, his forehead resting against yours.

“What happened to telling them at the end of the season?” you whisper, a smile making its way across your lips.

“They were pissing you off. Had to set the record straight.” he responds, pressing a kiss to both of your cheeks before pulling back.

Sasha and Mikasa run over, crushing the two of you in a hug as they all excitedly squish you in their embrace, hundreds of questions falling out of their mouths.

How long have you been dating? Are you in love? Have you done it?

“Connie. You’re disgusting, you know that?” Armin says, snapping a picture of everyone crushing you in a hug.

“Guilty as charged.” Connie says, smirking.

“Connie. Bother her again and I’ll make it a point to do it in your bed.” Eren says, cupping your face in his hands as everyone laughs.

Eren joins you at the piano, two steaming cups of tea in his hand. He sets them both at the head of the piano before pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“Hey.”

“Hi. I-I think it might be done.”

“We’re sticking with invisible string?”

“Seems right, don’t you think?”

Eren leans forward to press a kiss to your cheek again before settling his hands on the keys as he starts playing the tune, your voice filling the empty air of the set.

Time, curious time Gave me no compasses, gave me no time Were there clues I didn’t see?

You give Eren a nod to join you on the melody as you play the notes on your side of the piano, your cheeks hurting from smiling.

And isn’t it just so pretty to think All along there was some invisible string Tying you to me?

Eren stops playing the keys as he leans his head against your shoulder, pressing a kiss to your shoulder before talking.

“Maybe we shouldn’t sing right now. Your voice is sounding tired, love.”

“We just did so many takes of that scene yesterday with Armin and Erwin. And then we all spent a good twenty minutes crying after we realized it was Erwin’s last scene, so I’m all spent out.”

Eren plays a loose melody on the piano as you press a kiss to the top of his head.

“Where’d you come up with invisible string?”

“It’s one of those old folktales, Eren. About soulmates.”

He gives you a confused look as he keeps playing, the piano singing in the air.

“Basically, when you’re born, there’s a little string tied around your pinkie and one around your soulmates. And no matter how far you are, you’ll eventually find the other end of your string and your other person because you’re tied together.”

“Do you ever think about stuff like that? About soulmates and other lives and stuff?”

“Sometimes, it can be fun. Like what we’re doing in another life, how we ended up together.”

“You think we’re together in other lives, Y/N?”

“You don’t, Eren?”

You give him a fake angry look which has him back pedaling really fast, the words spilling out of his mouth.

“I-no. Of course, we’re together. We’re meant to be together, every universe and every time-”

“I’m teasing, Eren. You don't have to think that just because I do.” you respond, smacking your fist against the piano and sending a shred of discordant notes in the air.

“Ouch, princess. You’re no musician.”

“Oh?”

He laughs, taking your closed fist off of the keys and lifting your hand to his mouth to press a kiss to your knuckles.

“We have hundreds of love stories out there, Y/N.”

“Oh yeah? Like what?”

“All the classics, of course.”

“Like? I need concrete examples, Eren.”

“There’s one where we fake-date and fall in love. And then there’s one where you somehow end up being my roommate and-”

“Roommates? That’s so fucking corny, Eren.”

“Roommates. Like you somehow end up having to live with me against your will and then obviously start liking me because I’m so charming.”

“Ew, Eren. You would hate being my roommate. I’d probably piss you off by singing in the shower every morning.”

“See that’s the thing. I’d hate it at first but then it becomes super endearing to me. It’s part of the romance, falling in love with the little things.”

“Okay, Cupid. I didn’t realize you were an expert here.”

“Let’s go home, yeah? We need to wake up early for the vow renewal tomorrow.”

Eren starts packing your notebook into the bag and handing you your cup of tea as you slide around on the bench. He walks down the length of his set before realizing you’re not next to him and trails back, bending down to sit in between your legs.

“Hey. What’s up?”

You put your hand against his cheek as you look at his green eyes, round and full, staring into yours. It’s on the tip of your tongue. You love him. And you miss him when he’s not even gone.

“Nothing, Eren. I just thought about how after this week, we won’t be coming back here for another three years. When am I gonna see you?”

Eren jumps off the ground and takes his seat on the bench again, wrapping his arm around your shoulder. He presses a kiss to the top of your head before murmuring against your hair, his voice soft.

“I’ll come where you are. You can come where I am. We-we’ll see each other, okay?”

“Okay, Eren. You’re right. I-I’m just being silly.”

He leans forward to drag you up on your feet and the two of you stroll your way back to the townhouse together in the dark. And the confession still burns on the tip of your tongue.

You and Eren stay seated on the piano bench, well after you guys finish singing your song for Hange and Levi, to watch everyone from your perfect vantage point on the front of the dance floor.

Levi and Hange are still swaying in the middle, the two of them laughing into each other’s faces as Hange steps on Levi’s feet for the sixth time. Sasha and Reiner are doing some very serious tango dancing, and destroying anyone who makes it into their pathway, and Jean and Mikasa brushing noses as they softly smile into each other’s faces.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been as happy as I am right now, Eren.” you say, looking over at his green eyes.

He’s all dressed up, in a nice black suit and his hair nicely styled against his forehead. He’s wearing a pink tie, intended to match the pale pink long dress you borrowed from Mikasa.

“Why’s that?”

“I don’t know. There’s so much love in the room.”

“Connie getting seconds for the tenth time is love?”

You laugh as you lean your head on his shoulder, laughing into the fabric.

“No. But look. He has an extra plate that he’s piling onto for Sasha. Her feet have been hurting all night and instead of making her get up with him, he’s doing it for her. That’s love, Eren.”

“You always notice things I don’t, sweet girl. Tell me more.”

You smile as you place your chin up on his shoulder, pointing out each little thing in the room.

“Mikasa and Jean have been in the back corner all night. And when we were singing, Jean pressed the softest kiss to Mikasa’s cheek and her face turned all pink, even after all this time.”

Eren places his hand around the small of your back, rubbing small circles into your back as you go on.

“Armin is the most competitive Monopoly player known to man. Marco’s been sliding all his extra money to Reiner so he can stay in the game.”

“Erwin took a picture of Levi and Hange during their first dance from the back side, because he knows Levi wants the view of the picture to be Hange and not him.”

“And Levi and Hange, they’ve been swinging in the middle of the dance floor since we stopped singing and the orchestra started playing. Which was like forty-five minutes ago. They-they’ve been talking this entire time, never running out of things to say to each other, with the biggest smiles on their faces.”

Eren looks over at you, the soft, sweet look in your eyes as you look at everyone in the room and it makes his heart melt.

“Levi and Hange are really in love, aren’t they?” Eren asks, drawing his eyes that give away too much from you.

“The softest kind of love. I-I’ve never seen two people so in sync before. I feel like every time I look at Levi when he’s with Hange, he looks like he’s never been more at peace.”

And Eren can see it - the way Levi’s shoulders are relaxed, the smile on his usually blank face, and the wrinkles near his eyes.

And when he looks over, all he can see is it on your face too. The marks of love. Full, pink cheeks - which he’s sure is from the makeup Mikasa helped you with. The softest, most excited smile on your face as you scan the room, only pointing out more and more of the tiny little signs of love he’d never even see on his own.

“I love you.”

You look over at Eren, his green eyes gentle and heartfelt as he takes your hand and squeezes three times.

“Eren, you-”

“I love you. The three squeezes - that’s what they’ve always meant.” he whispers, his hand warm in yours as me mimics the motion you’ve done a hundred times.

You can feel the tears stinging in your eyes as you bring your hand up to his cheek, memorizing the way he looks, bathed in the golden lights strung from the ceiling to the end of the backyard.

“There’s love in the room. And it’s right here between you and me.” you whisper, before Eren closes the space between you and leaves the warmest, softest kiss against your lip - so deep you can feel it tingling all over your skin.

The softest kind of love.

next part linked here

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