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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 1 year

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Unexpected 3

Sequel to Unsolicited

Warnings: non/dubcon, pregnancy, Lloyd being the worst, and other dark elements.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

The list of what you can do is shorter than those things barred from you. The doctor merely confirmed your deepest fears and sealed Lloyd’s sentence. A baby. A whole other life and you’re supposed to be responsible for it. You know for a fact he won’t be, at least, not beyond tossing money at the situation.

Your arm is tender from the implant removal. The procedure was emblematic of your state. The excision of part of yourself, the last remnant of your old self. You mourn the loss quietly, keeping your face blank as you pretend to read the literature shoveled into your hands by the nurse before your departure.

Lloyd is gleeful, he can’t hide his joy but you are not deluded. It’s not some wholesome delight at bringing a new life into the world, no, it’s celebrating the life he’s ruined. Yours. A child is the brand that marks your ownership.

As you enter his house, it feels bleak. The pristine white and gold aesthetic is dingy and beige to your eyes. The world is grimmer, constricted. Your leash is tight and cannot reach beyond these walls.

A sudden smack across your ass jolts you from your melancholic trance. Lloyd takes a pamphlet from the pile clutched in your hands and unfolds it. He gives it a once over and hands it back.

“I got a treadmill in the gym. You should hop on that every once in a while. Stuff says you need to stay active,” he shrugs, “wouldn’t mind a workout buddy.”

You squint at him. There it is. All those times Colin gently tried to goad you. ‘There’s a special at the gym’, ‘let’s make a new years resolution’,’ it wouldn’t be a bad idea to try something new’.

“Or… I could go for walks outside,” you suggest, “get some fresh air.”

“Don’t be fucking smart,” he warns, “I’m not being a fuckhead here, I’m trying to help. Do what’s best for the baby but don’t you dare lose that fucking ass. A brisk pace, no running.”

You sigh. This man has the audacity to dictate everything around him as if the world is built just for him. In his head, maybe it is. From the looks of it, he’s never been denied anything in his life.

“So, you still don’t trust me?”

“Trust?” He clucks, “that’s a funny concept. But no. You wanna go for a walk, I’ll take you out for one like a good pet.”

You scowl and he smirks, reaching to tap the end of your nose. You wipe your face of all emotion and pull away, refocusing on the booklets in your hand.

“Decaf,” he declares, “and we should look into some vitamins. Doc says at your age–”

“I wish you hadn’t just welcomed yourself in, you know? It’s kind of… private.”

“Hey, I’m the father, I got every right to know what’s going on with my kid.”

“Mmm, sure, and what about when the kid shows up? How about diapers? Colic? Sticky hands?”

“That’s what nanny’s are for,” he wrinkles his nose, “ew, you’re– such a pessimist, baby face.”

And you're a dumbass, you keep the retort to yourself and shake your head at the next page. No coffee, no hot baths, no sushi… Sounds like a wonderful nine months.

“One thing at a time,” he nears and grasps the clutter in your hands. A brief tug-of-war as you clamp down but relent, letting him take it before it scattered, “we still got a wedding to plan.”

“Plan? I thought Vegas was easy–”

“Dresses,” he insists as he places the papers in the console table drawer, “get your coat off. We’re gonna do a little fashion show.”

“Oh, fuck off. Just gimme the one with the most last,” you huff as you unbutton your coat.

“I think we should weigh our options, baby,” he opens the closet and hangs his jacket, “so you’re gonna strut and do a pretty little spin. If your ass don’t look good, we know it’s not the one.”

“You are so romantic,” you say dryly as you add your coat to the row along the rod.

“Oh, I’m thinking the whole nine yard. Veil, flowers, something blue, something inside you–”

“Right, let’s just get this over with before I vomit,” you interrupt him.

“Ah, little baby Hansen already causing trouble.”

“No, you. You make me sick.”

He snickers and grabs your arm. He pulls you to him, his other arm looping around you. He leans in and you try to turn your face away. He catches your chin and holds you in place as he plants a sloppy kiss on your mouth.

“You think they’ll let me kiss you other lips at the altar,” he purrs as he parts, “climb up under your skirt–”

“Do you ever stop?”

“Not really,” he answers, another slap on your ass, “let’s go, peaches.”

He keeps an arm around you as he guides you away from the entryway and back to the front room where the rack of dresses waits. The golden bar has been righted and the garment bags rehung. Lloyd lets you go and strides ahead of you, pushing apart the wire hangers with a hum.

“Oh, this one is my front runner,” he turns to you and holds out a white bag, “this one first.”

You glare at him and slowly approach, taking it with hesitance.

“So, when exactly is this wedding supposed to happen because I probably won’t fit into these soon–”

“You sign?” He challenges.

You swallow and give an indecisive look to the ceiling.

“I told you I would–”

“Later,” he waves you off, “don’t spoil this.”

You barely keep from rolling your eyes. You? Spoil it? You look down at the hang and drag away the long garment bag.

“Change here,” he insists as he sits on the sofa, stretching his arms wide across the back, “behind that… whatever.”

He points to the fanned divider placed to the impractical aesthetic of whatever designer he paid to decorate. You sniff and near the wall, pulling it out to angle it around so you have some room behind it. You peek over at him as he feels his mustache and smirks at the room.

You dip behind the barrier and unzip the bag. The contents are worse than you could ever imagine. A white leather halter dress. Not your style, if you can claim to have any. You sigh and pull it out.

“What’s up, doll face?” Lloyd taunts from the other side.

“Nothing,” you lie, your tone betraying your agitation.

You undress and open the zipper as wide as it goes. You struggle to pull the tight leather sheath up your body and strain to do it up. You’re less impressed by the cut out over your cleavage and long split down the thigh. Worse, the way it stretches over your stomach makes you feel even more exposed.

“This isn’t it,” you drone, “I’m taking it off–”

“Get out here,” he speaks over you.

“Lloyd, I hate it–”

“That shit’s designer so you walk your ass out here and give me a look,” he intones, “now, sweetheart.”

You hold back another frustrated exhale and move slowly. The leather creaks loudly and you cringe. You come around the divider and march over to the sofa. You stop before him and cross your arms.

“It’s too small.”

“Fuck,” he leans forward and steeples his hands, brushing his fingers up under his chin, “you look fucking hot.”

“Don’t–”

“Your tits look huge. Like… humongous–” He makes a motion as if squeezing your chest.

You stare at him, unable to conceal your anger. Is he just saying he likes it because he knows you don’t or is he really that tacky?

“Turn,” he spins his finger in the air. You take a breath and obey. As you do, he growls and slaps his thigh. “Damn, that ass. I mean, you can’t see it but let me tell you, it looks magnificent. The kinda ass a man could dive right into.”

“Right, thanks,” you face him again with a sneer, “can I take this shit off?”

“You can hike up that skirt and give daddy a ride,” he sits back as he drags his hands up his pants and pulls his knees apart. The bulge beneath the white pants is all too obvious.

“This isn’t the dress, Lloyd. There are a dozen more–”

“I know it’s not, but you gotta fuck me in it at least once,” he picks at his fly.

You cringe and slowly bend to grab the skirt, pushing it back at the split as you get closer. He pulls his dick above his pants and strokes himself, reaching for your hip as he guides you into his lap. You get on your knees as you fight the leather around you and he rubs his tip against your entrance.

You sink down onto him and he trails his fingertips up your body. He covers your tits with his hands and squeezes, bucking below you as he groans.

“Fuck, baby, I don’t think I’m ready to share these,” he leans forward and buries his face in your cleavage, shaking his head with a lewd noise. He pulls back and tilts his head up to look at you, “I’m just fine with a formula baby.”

You push him against the couch and rock your hips. It’s the only way to shut him up. And you’ll gladly take a moment of peace before they’re gone for good.

#lloyd hansen #dark lloyd hansen #dark!lloyd hansen #lloyd hansen x reader #series #unexpected #drabble #dark drabble #dark!drabble #the gray man

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outtoshatter · 4 months

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This week's author spotlight goes to the fantastic and lovely @missanniewhimsy!!

Fics to Read:

Brave in the Shadows | NR | 5k tags: space, war, epistolary, open ending, angst Summary: Derek pulls his phone out as soon as he’s in the kitchen.

You have no new messages.

It’s the same every day.

Here Together | T | 10k tags: gaming, speedrunning, glitch hunting, online friendship Summary: In which Derek is a world-record holding speedrunner, Stiles is the glitch hunter who's found some of the biggest strats for the run and Derek's second most annoying mod. Small crushes get blown wide open when Derek invites Stiles to do commentary for a major run and they finally have a chance to meet in person.

Worthy | G | 1k tags: established relationship, domestic fluff, they both deserve nice things Summary: Stiles took a breath, then another, eyes locked on Derek’s. He shook his head, willing himself to calm down. “It--it’s been a while.”

Fics to Hear:

little boy lost | T | 1-1.5 hours tags: single parent Stiles, magic Stiles, deputy Derek, autumn Summary: If someone asked Stiles to write a parenting book, Stiles would say the best and most important rule is to love your kid. Just love the hell out of them, and make sure they know it.

The second most important rule would be don’t turn your back on a curious three year old with supernatural speed.

Stiles is currently failing at the second rule. Badly.

i went to the crossroad, fell down on my knees | T | 2-2.5 hours tags: fallen angels, guardian angels, rest stop Summary: Stiles is a crossroads demon operating out of a rest stop Subway, Derek is a guardian angel whose family has passed on. When Derek decides to stick around, the Jacob Campbell Southbound Rest Area gets interesting. Well, more interesting than it already was.

(aka the prompt generator drabble that grew legs and turned into an meditation on grief, guilt, responsibility, and the redemptive power of unconditional love.)

And When I Wake You're There I'm Saved | T | 1-1.5 hours tags: space, kidnapped Derek, kidnapped Stiles, no torture Summary: "Derek," Stiles says, firm. His hand is warm on Derek's shoulder. "I'll be okay."

"You didn't leave me," Derek argues. "How can you expect me to leave you?"

Stiles rolls his eyes. "Oh my god, it'll be fine. Even if I am captured, I'm just a boring human. They wanted you for your Lycan blood."

Derek crosses his arms. Mainly so he doesn't wrap his hands around Stiles' throat in an attempt to throttle some sense into him. "That's fine. But this isn't a time when being a boring human is an asset. This is a time when being a boring human results in a shot to the head."

"Derek," Stiles says again. He steps closer, so Derek is surrounded in his scent, his chemosignals—namely unwavering, resolute determination, distinctively sharp and entirely unbreakable—clouding Derek's mind. "You'll come back for me." He sounds so sure, and he can tell the exact moment Derek gives in. Because Derek somehow always gives in to Stiles.

"I'll come back for you," he confirms. "And you better not be dead."

Stiles grins, eyes sparkling with far too much humour for someone who potentially just sacrificed himself for a surly Lycan and bunch of strangers. "You do say the sweetest things."

In Progress:

[podfic] Fractured Starlight | M | 9/34 chapters tags: hurt/comfort, amnesia fic, witch Stiles, blood and gore, alpha Derek Summary: Stiles is driving home when a werewolf pops out of his trunk like a demented jack-in-the-box, aggressive, confused, and with no memory of who he is or how he got in there. Stiles has no choice but to take him through the protected borders of Willow Pass so he can figure out what's going on and if this strange werewolf is a danger to his coven.

Go check out allll of misswhimsy's fics on their AO3 page! Don't forget to mind the tags, leave a kudos, and maybe even drop a comment!

#sterek #sterek fandom #author spotlight #teen wolf #derek hale #stiles stilinski #misswhimsy #spotlight saturday

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buttercupjosh · 1 month

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Seasons of Love

(Gif credit to @youmustlovehim)

Word count: 2,772

Genres: strangers to lovers to exes, a little bittersweet

Warnings: none

A/N: I’ve had pieces of details of this fic in mind for a while and I started to slowly write it out over the past few months. This title comes from Seasons of Love from the musical RENT, although there’s nothing in the story connects to specific details from that. The story is not based off of anything specific, just a plot that had been simmering in me for some time. It’s not set at a specific moment in time (It’s taking place in a fictional future but you could also say that it’s set this season. However, the season is still ongoing at the moment and anything can happen or change). It’s written with a female reader in mind because I’m a female of color but the reader doesn’t specifically have to be a POC or a woman and there’s little dialogue. As always, I’m open to any and all feedback, comments or questions; just put them in my inbox or dm me. Thank you so much in advance for reading, I appreciate it😌

(P.S. I have other stories (linked here) that I have written for other players as well if you want to check it out)

““How do you measure a year in the life? How about love?” -Seasons of Love from the RENT musical soundtrack

Prologue

“Excuse me, is this a good book to read?” a deep accented voice asks you.

“Dune? For sure, it’s an epic story,” you reply.

“Do you think I could finish it in 4 days?” the voice asks.

“4 days? Unless you’re an Olympian at reading and processing complex storylines, I’d say it might take you close to 4 weeks or even 4 months to read it all,” you respond.

“Oh,” the voice says in defeat, “what do you recommend then?”

You list off some sci-fi recs for the towering cute man and he takes your suggestions into mind before deciding to get a copy of We, a novel written by his fellow countryman Yevgeny Zamyatin.

“I’ve never read that one,” you chimed.

“Should we start a book club then so you can read it?” the voice asks with a chuckle.

“Um, how can I start a book club with someone whose name I don’t even know?”

Slightly embarrassed, the voice introduces himself as Andrei and you introduce yourself to him as you shake hands. His hand in yours felt so comforting for someone you just met under an hour ago. Andrei was impressed that you knew so much about books. One of his New Year’s resolutions was to read more so that’s how he ended up at Barnes and Noble talking to you. You were at the store, just looking around for something new to read, and stumbled into the sci-fi section before checking out with your new copy of Happy Place by Emily Henry.

“So are we starting this book club then, Andrei?” you slyly ask.

Andrei wanted to have someone as a reading buddy to discuss reading with him (the other guys on the team weren’t as into reading as him) and it didn’t hurt that he had someone who knew a lot about literature right in front of him so he agreed to it.

“As long as you read “We” with me, please?” Andrei charmingly requested.

Although sci-fi wasn’t your thing at the moment, you couldn’t quite say no to the man with big brown doe eyes so you grabbed a copy off the shelf. Before going over the parameters of the newly formed book club, Andrei kindly paid for both of your books and you decided to discuss the rules in the cafe located inside of the store.

You and Andrei sat in a semi-secluded booth towards the back of the cafe and began sharing some of your backstories with each other over drinks and muffins. Andrei was again impressed by your educational background of holding an MFA in Creative Writing from NC State and your job as an adjunct English professor at Wake Tech Community College; it definitely explained your love of reading but your dream was to move to New York and become an author one day. You were working on a manuscript for a cute romance novel but still had a lot of things to do before it was ready to be presented to a publisher. The professor job was just a placeholder until you finished up your manuscript and saved up enough money to get a literary agent; you loved writing as much as you loved reading but getting your foot in the door in the writing industry was rough. You listened to Andrei as he told his story about his life and how he ended up in America through his hockey career. You and Andrei were both curious about each other and asked so many questions to each other for such a long time that you didn’t even notice that the store was going to close. Neither of you wanted your time together to end but you both had lives to get to outside of the store. You both laughed when you realized that you and Andrei spent so much time getting to know each other that not once throughout your conversation did you discuss the rules of the book club. Before leaving, you and Andrei exchanged numbers. You both agreed to read the first 50 pages and scheduled to meet up at a different cafe to discuss what you read so far in two weeks.

————————————————————

Winter

Within a year, the book club didn’t last long but it did lead to you and Andrei being in constant contact with each other. Due to both of your schedules, neither of you really had the time to sit down and have deep intellectual discussions about what you read; you both did end up finishing reading We but you finished it at different paces. Being the book lover you are, you completed the book first but Andrei finished reading the book while on the road and he wanted to discuss the ending with you so bad that he surprisingly FaceTime called you. That one FaceTime call with Andrei turned into a long series of texts, phone calls, and more FaceTime calls and eventually spending time together offline. You and Andrei considered each other to be just friends but that friendship eventually turned into you falling for each other.

Andrei was a hot commodity around Raleigh and in Russia with his DMs bursting at the seams but he only had eyes for you. He had never fallen in love with someone the way that he did for you; being with you was different than what he was used to but it worked in the best way. You knew the risks and chaos of being with a busy, famous athlete but Andrei was worth all of it. You blended and adjusted well into the hockey romantic partner lifestyle and Andrei even taught you how to ice skate. Despite the busyness of your lives, you and Andrei still showed up for and made time for each other, even if it was something as small as meeting up at your place for a post-afternoon game milkshake from The Shiny Diner or as big as taking Andrei as your date to your work holiday party. Whenever you had the time, you and Andrei created fun, everlasting memories together. A somewhat sweet memory that Andrei would always remember was when on one cold evening, you wanted to surprise your Russian boyfriend by attempting to make him borscht, a traditional Eastern European soup that was his favorite comfort food. The soup did not come well at all so you and Andrei ended up ordering Panera Bread to warm your bones. Although the soup you made tasted unpleasant, Andrei appreciated the fact that you took the time and effort to learn something from his culture and did that from your heart. The poetic thing about your relationship was that you patiently understood each other, despite the language and culture barrier; your relationship just worked like two puzzle pieces clicking together into place.

————————————————————

Spring

As the flowers bloomed around Raleigh, the school year for you ended on a good note and unsurprisingly, the Canes made playoffs. Deep into your manuscript writing, Andrei surprised you with a trip to New York after the Canes were eliminated from playoffs. You and Andrei were already spending the entire off-season together so this trip wasn’t a necessity but it was a nice thing to do.

Your time in New York was amazing and full of love, fun, and plenty of delicious food. While you were in the City, you took the opportunity to meet with some potential literary agents and publishers; although your manuscript was about 90 percent done, it didn’t hurt to check those things out. Andrei was supportive of you and your dreams but he selfishly wished that those dreams didn’t include moving to New York and that you would stay in Raleigh and have a life with him there. He had already known his future was tightly connected to the City of Oaks but you had a desire to create a future somewhere else. You knew these dreams of yours could possibly involve leaving the love of your life; neither of you tried not to dwell too hard on the stress and pressure that those dreams added to your relationship. You also knew the publishing industry was cutthroat and competitive and that there was no guarantee that your book would be picked up by a top publisher but those realities didn’t stop you from at least trying to take the steps towards that dream.

Outside of this pressure, you and Andrei still made the best of your time in NYC. You also loved musical theater so of course, you had to catch a Broadway show. Andrei, being the amazing boyfriend that he is, actually secured tickets for the two of you to see Hamilton at the Richard Rogers Theater. You had watched the live stage production on Disney+ and knew the entire soundtrack; Andrei went into the show blindly, only remembering bits and pieces from the songs that you played around him. Seeing Hamilton live on Broadway was a great experience that you both enjoyed. You and Andrei got to see New York City in a different light; you got to explore more of the city that you longed to call home and Andrei got to see more of the city as a true tourist. This entire trip was something that you both would forever cherish.

————————————————————

Summer

Not long after you left New York, you went to Russia for the first time to meet and spend time with his family and friends and to see the place that made Andrei into the man that you love. You learned more about Russian culture, Andrei’s childhood, and even was a guest at his cousin’s wedding. Andrei’s friends and family approved of you as a person and they liked you with him; they could all tell how truly in love you were with each other. You also spent some time together in Turkey and around Europe for some much-needed relaxation; you got to see the beautiful blue waters of the Mediterranean Sea in Greece, eat authentic handmade pasta in Italy, and kiss your lover in front of the Eiffel Tower in Paris.

Traveling around with Andrei made you feel like you were the protagonist of a great summer read. Speaking of reading, Andrei still maintained his goal of reading more books, reading just about anything and everything, and even started to recommend things for you to read. Before you would fall asleep at night, you would share with each other a fact or synopsis of something that you read that day.

While Andrei was occupied with his off-season training during the day, you applied for publishing jobs, presented your finally completed manuscript to several literary agents, and ended up securing one. It was relieving to officially have a literary agent to represent you but the next biggest hurdle was the painstaking editing process and waiting for your work to be picked up by the right publisher.

————————————————————

Fall

After the bliss of the off-season ended, it was time for the hustle and bustle of your teaching job and hockey season to return. About 2 weeks before preseason started, you and Andrei moved in together. It was exciting to get to live with your lover and spend even more time (whenever you could) with him. It was also nice that you got to add your style to the place and make it your own; having a home also meant that you could host your friends, Andrei’s teammates, and sometimes family for holidays and events and create more cherished memories together. Being a hopeless romantic who loved romance novels, you had always wondered who would be the man to sweep you off your feet but you sort of already knew that man was Andrei.

A fun memory that you made together was the Sunday before the season opener, you and Andrei took a trip to a local corn maze with a pumpkin patch to take cute couple photos together and to also check it out. These photos would be added into some of the new picture frames and a scrapbook of memories in your shared home. The photographer did an excellent job, capturing the love that flowed between you in still moments. For the rest of your time, you wandered around the corn maze, hand-in-hand, with your lovely boyfriend. The infamous oak trees in Raleigh began to shed their leaves and the year began inching closer and closer towards the end.

————————————————————

Winter part 2

One snowy morning, you got an email from McGraw Hill, offering you a job as an educational copy editor in their NYC office. You couldn’t believe it, you were on the path of working at a publisher and hopefully, one day getting your book published; all that you had been working so hard for was starting to pay off in tremendous ways. The only issue that was concerning you was breaking the news to Andrei. You knew he would be happy for you but you also knew what the next steps were. You tried to hold in your tears but after practice, Andrei came home to you crying. He immediately dropped his stuff and concerningly asked you what was wrong. You explained to Andrei that you were crying joyfully over the news you received. Words couldn’t describe how proud Andrei was for you so he picked you up and spun you around in happiness.

“I’m so proud of you, my love,” Andrei repeated as he peppered kisses around your face.

He was truly proud of you but the ecstasy of the good news came with the most painful come down. Andrei didn’t want you to move to New York but he had already known for a while that you wanted to leave. He did try to convince you to stay and he hoped for months that you would change your mind but you didn’t so he helped you pack some of your things. Andrei couldn’t help you move up there so he entrusted Nykki, Martin Necas’ girlfriend, to help you settle into your new home and life, more than 500 miles away from the address you once shared.

You and Andrei did try dating long distance but your relationship unfortunately didn’t last very long. Between the responsibilities of your new job, revising over your manuscript, trying to get your book published somewhere, and Andrei’s hectic hockey schedule, you began to drift apart from each other and the physical distance between you didn’t help either. You enjoyed living in New York and you did miss each other from time to time but Andrei knew it would be unfair to ask you to give up on your dreams to come back to Raleigh and be with him. Despite not dating anymore, you and Andrei talked occasionally but not as frequently as it was when you first met and still remained friends. It was okay that the relationship had run its course because it taught you both a lot about love. Andrei came into your life for a season and those seasons you shared together were full of so much undeniable light and love. The love that you shared was different from the romance novels you read but your relationship wrote its own beautiful story.

————————————————————

Epilogue

Before catching his flight to Miami for the NHL All-Star break, Andrei went into the bookstore at Raleigh-Durham International Airport to look for a book to read on his flight. In the book section, he spotted Seasons of Love, written by you with a New York Times Bestseller sticker on the cover. Over the years, Andrei had heard some things about your novel in passing but he purposely avoided reading the book because the breakup was a bit painful for him. After you achieved getting your book published, you wanted to send Andrei a signed copy but decided against it because you weren’t sure if he would actually read the story and didn’t want to come across as pretentious either. He debated back and forth about getting the book before finally asking a store employee about their opinion about it.

“I read that one. It’s a fictional story but I heard it’s loosely based on a true story about the author’s relationship with some cool guy. It’s a super good read if you like romance," said the store employee.

Hearing what the store employee said about your book made Andrei’s heart warm a little and he purchased it as his read for his trip. After returning back to Raleigh, conveniently, there was a book signing by a familiar author at a local Barnes and Noble that Andrei decided to attend. Although Andrei didn’t get his happy ending with you in real life, you sure gave him one with the words that you wrote on the page.

#andrei svechnikov #carolina hurricanes #andrei svechnikov x reader #andrei svechnikov imagine #hockey fic #hockey writing #my writing

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imsadstuff · 1 year

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Loving You Is Red - A Jeon Jungkook Fic, voice memo's that were never sent

Synopsis: Jeon Jungkook's name was unheard on the Formula 1 paddock till he got a chance to drive a Mercedes car as a reserve driver. His 2020 starts looking brighter as he signs with Ferrari and meets you, his team mates little sister. So many cliched tropes, strangers to friends to lovers, slow burn, dating brother's best friend, and most importantly Jeon Jungkook looks smoking hot in a Ferrari! Genre: Angst, lots of it, happy ending Word Count: 3.5kAuthor's Note: So, this is a little extra instalment based on something my boyfriend did. He told me about the voice notes he left for me during our break up. he wanted to call and tell me a million things, but instead he'd leave a voice memo in his phone, pretending like they got to me. made me sob like a baby. so, this is a version of that for loving you is red, different voice notes Jungkook records for OC over the five years they're apart... I highly recommend you read the fic to have a better understanding of this. You can find the fic here

please don't be a ghost reader, likes, comments, reblogs, show your appreciation (given you like it 🫣)

Day after Abu Dhabi Race 2020

Jungkook was hungover and tired, the night had been kind of a blur after he won the race. He still couldn’t believe he was the 2020 F1 world champion, he still couldn’t believe you weren’t in the bed beside him, he still couldn’t believe he let you go.

Jungkook was drinking to feel numb, but the morning came and the emotions were starting to eat him up. His hand hovers over your number, Jungkook wants to apologise and wants you back, but he fights the urge as he locks his phone and throws it on the bed as he walks into the washroom.

Walking back with his towel low on his hips, he picks up his phone again, opening the voice recorder app instead. He needs to let out all the intense emotions he’s feeling.

“Hey, just got done crying in the shower. I feel so overwhelmed and anxious, so much is happening all at once. I can’t believe yesterday really happened” he sighs as the app continues recording as he sits down on the bed.

“I’m supposed to go out and celebrate my amazing season but I feel sick just thinking about yesterday. I feel so guilty, I don’t deserve this win” tears are staining his cheeks again, he takes a few deep breaths to compose himself.

“We weren’t supposed to end this way ___…” your name feels heavy in Jungkook’s heart as he presses stop on the recording. Flopping back in bed, he allows himself to cry a little more, processing everything is just too much right now.

1st January 2021

“It’s been a month and a half since I last saw you, feels like forever” Jungkook struggles to stand still as he records another voice memo. Jungkook’s friends invited him out, hoping to distract him and celebrate the new years, but you were still on his mind.

“The new year started fifteen minutes ago, so my resolution for this year is to get over you, I’m going to get a tattoo to symbolise that too” he promises as he gulps down the whiskey, taking a good look at himself in the mirror. All he sees is a shitty, depressed version of himself and he doesn’t like it one bit.

“I have to start getting over you, I can’t keep feeling broken like this” his voice cracks as he struggles to keep the tears away, he’s been crying a lot more than usual lately.

“I hate myself some more just imagining you being miserable like this. I hope you’ve realised that you’re better off without me, that you deserve someone who prioritises you” he whispers the last part as he lets the tears win once again.

“Happy new year ___, I know this year can’t top the magic that was 2020, but I’ll try. I have to unless all this pain was for nothing” he chuckles dryly as he stops recording. It takes him a few minutes to compose himself, but he does, he’s getting shockingly good at pretending like he’s fine.

Race 2 2021

Jungkook’s frustrated as he shuts the door to his hotel room, it’s the second race of the season and the car is absolutely not supporting him. He can feel the anger simmer inside him as he struggles to fall asleep, he’s been struggling with this for a while now.

“I wish you were here right now. Bad day’s didn’t feel as bad with you” he says as he stares at the ceiling as his phone records beside him.

“You’d probably help me realise that the issues are out of my control, that I need to be a little patient. You’d run your fingers through my hair, in an attempt to calm me down” his hand rakes through his hair as the memory of you doing the same flashes in his mind.

“But most importantly, you’d put on the office because that’s your cure for everything” an actual giggle escapes his lips as he turns off the recording and opens the netflix app.

That night, he falls asleep as Michael Scott does something childish.

Race 7 2021

“Phillip was on call with you while we were out for a photo shoot and I heard your voice for the first time in months” Jungkook sighs as he takes a seat on the kitchen counter, something you’d usually do.

“I was starting to feel better and then I heard your voice” he says as he eats straight from the pan.

“You were talking about the weather in Oxford, adjusting in your new apartment, your voice sounded the same. Soft as always” he stares into his empty, dark apartment as he wonders what your new apartment looks like.

“And all I’ve been thinking since then is how quickly one can go from knowing each intimate detail of someone’s life to being an absolute stranger to them. How life keeps moving on, even when your heart can’t” he’s starting to lose his appetite the more he thinks about it.

“But I’m glad you’re moving on, You deserve to” Jungkook chuckles as he says that, he means that, he truly does.

“In other news, my year has been an absolute shit show so far, Seven races in and no wins for me yet. Maybe I am just a one hit wonder like the press has been calling me” Jungkook doesn’t find any of this funny, it’s eating him up and the problems just keep piling on.

“I need to stop talking into the recording app and go out and talk to actual people” he thinks out loud as he jumps off the counter, packing away the leftovers.

Summer Break 2021

It’s early in the morning as Jungkook walks closer to the water, the Ibiza wind hitting him in the face and waking him up. He’s been vacationing for all of last week, he has been laughing, hanging out with friends, having a good time, he’s truly been feeling a lot better.

Laying on the beach, he soaks in the morning sunlight, taking a few deep breaths before he starts talking.

“Today would've been our one year anniversary” he sighs as he flops back into the sand, just wanting to lay down for a while. There’s silence for a while as the sentence feels heavy in his heart, just the waves crashing and his heart thumping.

“We wouldn’t be in Ibiza, we’d be closer to the mountains, somewhere cold and cozy” there’s a faint smile on his face as he imagines an alternate universe, where the two of you are still together.

“You would have given me some amazing, handmade gift, like a cute photo book that journals our first year together. I would’ve gotten you some jewellery, probably that bracelet you were eying in Brazil” he remembers the exact bracelet he’s talking about, it’s kind of pathetic that he does.

“But in this shitty version of the universe, you’re probably enjoying your time at university and I get to go to some other club tonight and make small talk with a woman I’m not even remotely interested in” Jungkook is bitter and angry thinking about what could have been.

“This was for the best, right?” he asks himself as he picks up his phone, saving this voice note with today’s date.

Race 17 2021

“Phillip took me out to dinner because he’s worried about me, he thinks the car issues and lack of winning is starting to get to me” he sighs as he pours himself another drink.

“It is starting to get to me, I’m so scared and anxious about my future it keeps me up at night. Of course it’s already starting to get to me given the panic attack I had during the last strategy meeting” Jungkook looks back at the difficult few months, it’s truly been challenging.

“He told me about going through something similar last year, and to not let the disappointment and temporary failure swallow me” Jungkook sighs for what feels like the millionth time tonight as he downs his drink in one go.

“Phillip told me to talk to him or anyone about my fears, verbalising my fears to someone I trust might help me. Phillip said that he told you the same after your accident, how the fear of a dwindling future paralysed you” hearing your name at dinner was not something he expected, every few months he’d start to forget about you and one thing and the rush of memories come back to him.

“You’re the only one I can think of when it comes to talking about my fears,” Jungkook says as he slides down the sofa and sits on the floor.

“I wish I could call you ___” he shuts his eyes tight as your name rolls off his tongue. His phone keeps recording as he switches on the tv to dissociate for a while.

Race 22 2021

“So, I didn’t win the championship. Wasn’t even in the top three but that’s the least of my concerns right now” there’s actual joy in Jungkook’s voice as he tussles around in his hotel bed, balancing his phone in his other hand.

“I just got to the episode when Jim interrupts Pam’s talking head to ask her out, and WOW!! The way the biggest smile appears on her face, and how her eyes light up, jesus fucking christ!” he squeals as he sits up in his bed, he might be a little too invested.

"Jim giving up on a promotion for love, peak of romance” Jungkook can’t help but smile, as he thinks back to the scene he’s seen multiple times now.

“After the crapfest of the year I’ve had, I wish I had the willpower to fight Ferrari last year. I can’t believe it’s been a year since we broke up” having spent all these important momentous dates with you, Jungkook can’t help but think back to them a year later.

“Sometimes I can’t believe just how easily you complied with me breaking us up, how you didn’t fight for us, at all” there’s bitterness in his heart about this, he knows it’s irrational but it’s there.

“Something you said sits heavy in my heart, ‘between the two of us, I’m the only one who’s had to give up on a dream without having a say in it’ and that’s just not true anymore” Jungkook remembers every word you said that evening exactly, he just can’t seem to forget them, or you.

“You may have given up on your dream of figure skating, but I gave up on my dream of a future with you”

Phillip’s Birthday 2022

“I haven’t done this in a while,” Jungkook speaks into his phone as he watches the night sky from the balcony. It had been five months since he had recorded a voice memo instead of calling you, he was starting to forget you.

“I knew I was going to see you today, but, um, I still wasn’t prepared to see you” Jungkook left the party early, he’d had enough of you and your very charming, british boyfriend.

“Christian and you look like you stepped out a romcom, with the perfect met cute story” he laughs genuinely as he thinks back at your chatty boyfriend, so different from you.

“I’m kinda glad seeing how well you’re doing. University, perfect relationship, I really am glad” he repeats in attempts to comfort himself. Taking a good look in the mirror, he has the urge to tug off the sweater he hasn’t worn in ages. The sweater he wore just so you’d notice.

That night, he finally packs up all the things he associated with you, the sweaters, perfumes, diary, books you left around his apartment, you’ve moved on, so should he.

Amsterdam 2023

Jungkook rewatches Phillip’s instagram story for the tenth time today, and there’s a smile on his face everytime he does. It’s a video with a caption that reads, ‘Birthday girl returns to the rink’. A ten second clip of you skating on ice with the biggest smile on your face brings him an amount of joy he hasn’t felt in years.

As you twirl on ice, your hands come into focus and Jungkook notices the ring on your index finger. On the previous watches he might have been a little too distracted by the smile on your face to notice you wearing the birthday gift he gave you. He knows you don’t wear it all the time anymore,because it was missing on Phillip’s birthday less than a year ago.

“Happy 23rd ___” Jungkook talks into his phone as he takes in the prettiest sunset in Amsterdam.

“Today is the first time I’m recording a voice memo when I’m not feeling bitter and depressed” he chuckles out loud and shuts his eyes as the smile on his lips only grows.

“I spent your birthday exploring a vintage bookstore, I was celebrating you in spirit I guess” Jungkook was happy with how he spent his day, going through books for hours.

“I went out for lunch and just stumbled upon this place, it was a happy coincidence. I cancelled my plans for the day and spent it doing something you would love. And for the first time in a while, I thoroughly enjoyed doing something that wasn’t racing” all Jungkook had been doing the last year was work, work related activities and training, he had completely given up on his hobbies.

“You would love this place” Jungkook says wistfully as he looks at a bag full of books he just bought.

Race 2 2024

Jungkook looked at the discarded boxes in his new apartment, and he finally moved to a bigger and better place. The movers had unpacked and arranged everything for him, this place feels foreign and unfamiliar. Jungkook opens a few drawers and shelves before he finds the plates, the only set of plates he owns.

Jungkook presses the record button to record a voice memo, something he hasn’t done in the last six months.

“So, I moved to a bigger, better place. I can afford a ridiculously expensive apartment in Monaco because I’m a two time F1 world champion now!” he says with excitement as he eats the takeout food from the plates you bought him.

“But I still haven’t bought plates, the ones you bought are beautiful, with the blue specks of colours. My favourite colour, apparently” Jungkook says as he takes another bite of the mediocre chinese food.

“And the passcode to this place is still the same as my last one, mostly because I don’t want to remember a new set of numbers. Definitely not because I’m hoping for you to surprise me by breaking into my place” he laughs loudly as he thinks back to the time you let yourself in while he was live streaming, Jungkook really thought someone was breaking in and entering.

“I have a stupid logic for why I won last year's championship, other than the obvious skills and amazing car. I started wearing the chain you gave me, your good luck charm might be my good luck charm too” he smiles widely as his hands go up to touch the chain.

“If it really is a good luck charm, I’ll win this year too” Jungkook has high spirits for 2023, he has high spirits about his personal life too. He turns off the recording when a call notification from Ava pops on his phone.

Race 22 Abu Dhabi 2024

Jungkook is dazed and frustrated as he walks back to his hotel room instead of going back to the club, abandoning his girlfriend but he could care less right now. He hadn’t seen you in over two years, and a three minute conversation has left him feeling empty the same way it did four years ago.

Your voice is ringing in his head as he flops back in bed, how frustrated and bothered you were.

“I hate how broken you looked, how broken you sounded” he whispers another voice memo as he shuts his eyes.

“I didn’t just move on like we never happened, it still shocks me how just six months of us being together bothered me for two years. I DIDN’T MOVE ON FOR TWO FUCKING YEARS ___!” he shouts with frustration, wishing he had said this to you.

“I’VE MOVED ON” Jungkook shouts some more to convince himself.

There are some frustrated huffs until he stops recording, his mind is all over the place and your wide, tear filled eyes haunt him.

December 2024

“So, I broke up with Ava a week after I saw you,” Jungkook says, still sitting in his car. Something clicked after seeing you, he knew all this time that he didn’t really love Ava. You asking him if you did just made him realise that.

“I was using Ava as a distraction and I hate myself for it” he sighs, not really wanting to go back to his empty apartment.

“How can I not love Ava, she’s quite literally perfect for me but I can’t imagine a future with her, at all. Am I damaged? Not capable of loving someone again?” he wonders out loud, his frustration and disappointment growing as he thinks about the mess he is some more.

“Seeing you just reminded me of what loving someone felt like…I couldn’t even be completely honest and open with Ava” he whispers shamelessly.

“You told me about your very destructive tendencies in a relationship, how you cheated on Christian because you couldn’t bring yourself to break up with him, and it just made me realise I was doing the same to Ava” Jungkook talks to himself, he’s been doing a lot of this lately.

“I was hanging onto Ava because I desperately didn’t want to be by myself, I didn’t want to be alone. I hate being alone” he confesses and his eyes are getting a little misty as he thinks about his situation some more.

That night Jungkook comes very close to actually calling you, he wants some warmth and comfort but he knows he doesn’t deserve any of that, especially from you.

Phillip and Maya’s wedding 2025

“I should have made some lame excuse about being busy or something, why do I do this to myself” Jungkook whines as he struggles with his tie, how does he not know how to tie a tie as a twenty five year old. He’s been pacing around in the hotel room, worried about ruining his chance of seeing you.

“I’m just going to apologise and shut this chapter, I need a fresh start and that can’t happen until I apologise to you and this is my only chance to because I need to be done with you” he frustratingly takes the tie off, wondering if he can rock the open button, casual look.

“I’m just worried that you’re not going to want to see me and then this whole evening is going to be awkward” he says as he looks for a turtleneck, open shirt is just too casual.

“Is there a delusional idiot in me that thinks that tonight is going to lead to something more? Yes, but you could bring another charming date and shatter my unrealistic expectations” Jungkook is very frightened for a man who drives at 300 kmph every other weekend without any fear.

“I’m just going to ask for your help, this is nothing more than an ex asking another ex to help tie their tie” he chuckles dryly as he downs his drink, needing some liquid courage before he faces you.

Summer Break 2025

“All I want to do is relax and eat tons of amazing food for the next week,” Jungkook says into his phone as he closes the door to his car.

“Then that’s what we’re going to do, but can you at least tell me where we’re going?” your voice booms on speaker and Jungkook smiles shyly, knowing the suspense is tormenting you. It has been a few weeks since Phillip’s wedding, and since the night he realised something, it’s always been you. It will always be you.

“Pack warm, that’s all I’m going to say right now” he giggles as you grumble on the other side.

“Kook, all my winter clothes are packed up, can you come over and help me get those boxes” you say and he laughs sarcastically.

“Is this just a ploy to get me to come over, if yes you have very bad game ___” he says and you’re the one laughing this time.

“You’re replaceable by a ladder Jeon, don’t get to cocky-” you’re interrupted by your apartment bell ringing.

“Too bad, I’m already here” he says as he’s still on call, you’re a little too elated as you swing the door open.

“Hey-” he’s shut up by your warm lips tugging on his as your arms come around him. Jungkook loses his balance for just a second before he holds you close and deepens the kiss. Jungkook doesn’t have to leave voice memos on his phone anymore, he doesn’t have to pretend to leave you messages. He’s glad he gets to call you, he’s glad he gets to hold you, he’s glad he’s given a second chance with you.

Another Author's Note: Still working on an epilogue for this, comment under to be added to the taglist if you still aren't on it!!

Tag List: @blancflms @nadzzzblog @kookiewhtaee @jksoftiitii @oiseul @elisaaru @coralmusicblaze @tearyjjeonn @moonchild1 @jungkooksseuphoria @cookysstuff @ohyeahjk @bobakkoo @whoa-jo @kooromiwrld @littlelandalp @marvelover3000 (the last one didn't ask to be added to the taglist but i'm adding them anyway :))

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laylajeffany · 1 month

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Not an ask, but, I'm currently about 2/3 of the way through Chaos for the Fly, and it is truly one of the greatest things I've ever read. It has made me laugh, cry, and every emotion in between. I have spent the whole time learning alongside Wednesday to love and care for myself. You've expressed out loud feelings of my autism and anxiety that I never could before, I've never read panic attacks more accurately written, and simultaneously you've taught me how to begin coping with them. The way you so vividly separate the voices of different characters, the way you describe every emotion so perfectly that leaves me feeling like I'm right there in the moment. The depth that you add to all the canon characters without taking away from their original personalities, the way all of your OC's fit so perfectly into the story, every single one of them mattering, not a single line, character or scene is unnecessary. I long for family like Josie and Emi, but in a way, just reading about them makes me feel they're talking to and teaching ME. Somehow on top of all that you wrote one of the most beautiful and realistic slow burn romances, It never feels rushed, no intimate touch or comment feels out of place, and yet you're constantly hoping for more. Then, once they are finally together they continue to have a beautiful and ever evolving dynamic, which is where a lot of other authors fall short in my eyes. The way you show Wednesday's comfort level with every character not just Enid, combines with her autism and uniquely affects each individual dynamic shows such and intimate level of understanding, it's so incredibly impressive. I think you may have ruined season 2 for me when it does eventually come out, simply because even with Jenna Ortega as a producer, it could never be as good as what you've written. and so I thank you. Thank you for writing this beautiful, spiritual, mental, and emotional journey. I hope for nothing more than that you keep continuing this story beyond chaos for the fly because I don't think I'll ever be ready for your writing to be over.

Thank you so much for this!! Slow-burn on a realistic timeline, organic character development and a meaningful portrayal of emotional struggle in a hyper-fantastic setting are my passion. I’m glad it’s resonated with you! Writing OCs is always a gamble but people really seemed to resonate Josie and Emiliana for certain (as well as others but I hear about them the most). I’ve ruined S2 for myself, truthfully and if Gwendoline Christie really isn’t in it, I’m not sure if T. Martel and I will even be watching lmfao. (This entire fic started in a parking lot at the mall when she was lamenting about needing Larissa Weems to live and I mumbled, “I guess I could write something.” HAHAHAHAHAHA.)

The good news is that I’m still playing around in this universe, I’m almost 50k into chapter one of the sequel and I think that it might actually end up being longer than I anticipated originally (just like the other fic I’m working on goddamn it I did try to make new year’s resolutions about this but it seems like I’m breaking them). I don’t think anyone is going to be mad about it!

Thanks for reading and for letting me know how it’s impacted you! Happy to have helped in some small way.

#layla answers fic questions #chaos for the fly

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thedrarrylibrarian · 10 months

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Hi do you have any fics where they break up and get back together?

Your holds have arrived!

Yes! I found so many great break up/make up fics, that I had to make it into two lists! The drama! The misunderstandings! The apologies and forgiveness! The make up sex! All of that sweet, sweet angst and resolution can be found in these awesome fics!

Check back next week for part two of this list!

Break Up/Make Up

time-tied by @wheezykat (154 words, rated T)

It's funny how everything seems to come back to this.

Alternatively, moments in time that tie Draco and Harry together.

Paris in the Rain by @drarrily-we-row-along (1,047 words, rated T)

Harry had really fucked up.

Fireflies by @gallifrey1sburning (1,144 words, rated G)

Over the quiet chorus of crickets and rustling leaves, he hears soft footsteps approaching, muffled by the loamy ground. Or maybe he feels it, more than hears it. Feels the presence of the person as they move to sit cross-legged next to him. Knows who it is, despite the fact that it’s been a year since he’s felt that buzzing awareness, that focus that warms the back of his neck but somehow also makes him want to shiver.

Slow Motion by @vina-writes (2,357 words, rated T)

He thinks about knocking on Harry’s door—about doing it four months ago, when Harry would press him into the wall and kiss him slowly enough that his legs turned to jelly and his mind went blank.

But Harry doesn’t miss him, because they don’t do kisses by the door anymore. After all, they were just fucking.

if the world was ending by saltwatergarden (4,238 words, rated M)

The world is ending again, but it's far less dramatic this time. Harry Potter tries to save the day. Draco wishes he wouldn't.

Nothing Left to Burn by @skeptiquewrites (5,134 words, rated E)

Over ten years after their fling crashed and burned, Harry runs into Draco and finds embers still burning bright. Sometimes your ex-lover is (metaphorically) dead. And sometimes it's summertime in Montreal and the past won't let go.

Take the Moon by @tackytigerfic (15,192 words, rated M)

Harry Potter has always wanted a family of his own, and when a deadly blood curse forces him into a marriage bond with his best friend Draco Malfoy, it looks like he might just have found one. It's just a shame they’d always planned to break up after a year…

The Ghosts of Hogwarts Past by @writcraft (30,071 words, rated E)

Draco has hardly had time to bask in his promotion to Head of Slytherin House when he gets news of Harry Potter’s return to Hogwarts. With his increased workload, the reappearance of the ex he never got over, the ghost that won’t let him sleep, and some curious coded diaries, it’s shaping up to be a hell of a year.

Inertia by @cavendishbutterfly (83,116 words, rated E)

It’s three months after the war. Harry has already mucked up all his plans. Draco is no longer the prince of Slytherin house. And they sure as hell didn’t both mean to go back to Hogwarts at the same time. Cue snarking, long conversations…and unexpected snogging.

This is the story of how Harry and Draco put their past aside. And then it's the story of how they finally learn to listen to it.

❤️ As always, if you find a fic you enjoy, please remember to leave the author a kudos or a comment! ❤️

Lots of Love and Happy Reading!

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ardenrabbit · 1 month

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Hello!

A Long and Slow Recovery - are we past the halfway point? I am so excited to see how everything turns out. Did you do a lot of research to delve into Xie Lian’s experience with recovery? It’s very well written with regard to his mental and emotional struggles. Also , I just love how you write Hua Cheng and Xie Lian’s interactions.

Those Worthy of Following( new name change!) - I gushed about it in your comment section but need to emphasize how much I love that opening chapter with the dual between Hua Cheng and Xie Lian. And this dynamic, of Hua Cheng being the prince, and Xie Lian being the bodyguard, is A+++. Xie Lian is so calm and kind and powerful. He was so fierce about Hua Cheng not talking down about himself. Like,yes gege, please show your Hua Cheng how precious he is, haha. I ❤️ reading Xie Lian showing his protectiveness of Hua Cheng, even from the man himself. I’m also keen to see how Feng Xin and Mu Qing will take to Xie Lian in this verse too.

Is there anything else you can share about it that’s not spoilers? If not, that’s fine too!

Your writing is just delicious - a pleasure, something to savor and come back to again and again.

Thank you!

Omg thank you so much 💕😭💕 Your comments are always such a delight!! It's so validating and encouraging and I hope you know that!!

We are indeed past the halfway point in alasr! I honestly just kind of know what happens in a big blob with like half a dozen bullet points, so I don't have a final chapter count ready, but Chapter 20 is basically the start of the second half of the story. I originally thought the fic was gonna end at just about the New Year celebration, but it turns out his recovery is taking a lot longer than that, and his recovery isn't even the only one we're dealing with now, so I got ambitious. The premise also uh deserves a little more closure and resolution than that lol, so Arc 2 is gonna be a little higher stakes than we've had so far.

I'm so glad you're enjoying how I'm writing Xie Lian and his recovery! Haha I did research a variety of other conditions and disabilities and read accounts from people who have them, because that's just good research. Honestly, though, inspiration for the vast majority of Xie Lian's mental/emotional struggles have been sourced from firsthand experience :)

I'm mentally and physically disabled and have been my whole life, and I wasn't even diagnosed with anything (I was somehow just diagnosed with Teenager) until I hit rock bottom about it in adulthood. I've gotten to a better place with the mental stuff, but even though it's no longer an active threat to me, my bad days can still leave me nonverbal, disconnected from reality, and sometimes catatonic. The physical stuff has been getting worse over the years, and even though I can still walk independently with a cane when I leave the house (as long as I rest a lot), I still fall down just walking in my own home. I keep having to remember that my chronic pain and fatigue isn't normal, and I keep getting evidence that I'm worse than I thought. I've had to reorganize my life around all of it and I'm uh. Not taking it well lately lol.

So alasr is my self-therapy project. Xie Lian is going to get better and I'm not, and that still kind of pisses me off lol, but it's nice to vent and see someone else get a happy ending. So...yeah, at least writing alasr has helped distract me from my own pity party, and Xie Lian's anger, despair, guilt, and forced optimism are cathartic for me. It's not just about me, though; obviously I'm trying to stay in character for him and write in the context of his specific circumstances. But I guess I relate to sick fic stuff lol

Fully aware that that was a lot of oversharing 💜

But ANYWAY, AS FOR ✨ THOSE WORTHY OF FOLLOWING ✨ I'm so glad you're liking that one so far too!! I craaaaave protective badass Xie Lian and I needed a different brand of angst and drama from alasr for a while lol. I love writing violence tbh. I don't wanna spoil too much, but I definitely wanna confirm this:

TWOF is NOT a post-canon reincarnation fic. I'm personally not up for writing that kind of loss of all their canon experiences. And there are probably some really well-written takes on it! It's just not personally my speed. 😅 This one might seem like a post-canon reincarnation fic in the first couple chapters, but it'll make more sense soon.

It IS angst with a HAPPY ending, I promise!! What I'm planning right now gets really rather sad and it might seem hopeless at some point, but I promise, I'm confident in my plan to make it genuinely happy and fulfilling!

I'm exploring a trope about which I've had some general hangups, but I honestly enjoy taking tropes and tweaking them to my preferences. I think a lot of people can already guess what trope I'm talking about, which is fine with me! If it means the buildup and foreshadowing are working, I'm happy it fits!

What I'm panicking about with this wip is that I've convinced myself that I need to earn a doctorate in Tang Dynasty battle and siege tactics to write it credibly lmao. I spent three hours the other night researching ancient Chinese fire starters and the differences between Han and Tang era tea preparation (to little avail). This one is gonna take a lot of research for my own peace of mind but I hope it pays off!

Mu Qing and Feng Xin are gonna be okay!! Someone commented on ch2 that they liked that Mu Qing got hurt because they hate him and I'm like...I didn't think I'd framed that as a good thing..... 😅 That was something a Bad Guy did.......... 😅😅😅

Thank you so much for your kind comments and all of the fun engagement!! I'm truly so honored that you've enjoyed my writing so far! 💖💖💖

#silver-cyn #tgcf #my writing #alasr #twof #oh look it talks #fic spoilers

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msmargaretmurry · 4 months

Text

i wanted to write some fandom-related new year's reflections down and this felt like the best place for it! i miss livejournal every day!

i don't generally do formal new years' resolutions, mostly because i am always too busy around the new year to really sit down and think and reflect about what they should be and how i would want to measure them, but i do think the new year is a good time for a little mental reset regardless and i have been Pondering over the past few weeks about what i would like that to mean for me...... i have always complained that tumblr as a platform is terrible for making friends and i stand by that (i have met good friends on tumblr but the friendships flourished when we took the conversation elsewhere) but i do think this past year i have been #blessed in obtaining some really lovely mutuals and acquaintances On Here in a way that has made me feel more connected to hrpf fandom at large, which has been really nice ❤ so that is something i would like to continue in 2024. i hesitate to be like "i want to spend more time on tumblr" because i probably do not need to do that lmao but i do maybe want to try to be a little more proactive about making/maintaining connections and loose ties. my dear pal kasper @moregraceful has talked about fandom as community and that always resonates with me, because it can be so easy to feel like you are feeding Content into the Content Machine for people to Consume and honestly that is so miserable! i don't want that! maybe 2024 will be the year i finally post my thoughts on the interminable "bookmarks comments are for readers, not writers" discourse.

anyway. i know a lot of the actual fandom ~conversation these days happens on discord, which is am afraid of, but idk maybe i'll try to have more of an open mind about it this year. but maybe i won't. making no promises to myself there 😂 i am trying to be realistic about how much free time i will have for fandom in the midst of work and grad school and real life social life so i think the upshot here is wanting to be thoughtful and deliberate about how i spend the free time i do have for this stuff.

on the fanfiction front...... i came into 2023 in a pretty shitty mental place about writing, mostly due to how lonely i felt about writing-as-community in 2022 — it's just not fun to feel like your friends are having fun without you about things you thought you'd be included in! — and spent most of the year trying to pull myself out of it, with middling success. like, i enjoyed the head above water ficlets i added to that universe but i do still feel a little crappy that those were the only things i was able to finish writing. i have so many stories i want to get out! so i am also trying to look at this new year as maybe a chance to give myself a clean slate and say that no matter what writing goals i set for myself i will also try to be gentler with myself and focus on enjoying the writing process regardless of the end product. but i would also like to actually finish some real fics this year, lol. i might set some measurable goals, but that will not be happening until i get home next week.

in conclusion, idk what i want this year to be yet! a friend of mine recently mentioned the joys of using the julian calendar for her winter celebrations means the new year isn't until january 14, so the first two weeks of the year get to be kind of a "soft launch" of the year to figure out what works best and i did immediately steal the concept even though i am a gregorian calendar girlie. so i am still pondering, still percolating. if for some reason any of you actually read all this and have your own fandom- or writing-related new year's goals/resolutions, i would love to hear them ❤

#2023 roundup

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emberfrostlovesloki · 3 months

Text

Fatigued [Spencer x Reader]

Photo Credits: Left (@foxy-eva) Center (@flowersforfrancis) Right (@s0undmybarbaricyawp)

Prompt: The reader has made one New Year’s Resolution this year, get out more. Spencer is happy to help her with this, but tonight the reader just seems too tired to want to do that. However, Spencer is flexible and is happy to change plans to let the reader rest.

Pairing: Spencer x Non-BAU!fem!reader. The reader uses she/her pronouns.

Category: fluff/comfort

Word Count: 3.3K

Content Warnings: Use of nicknames [sweetheart, love, etc.] someone passes away of old age [minor character].

A/N: Hi loves! Here is another fic based on the amazing @imagining-in-the-margins January/February Writing Challenge. The prompt was Character swears that this year they were going to definitely fulfill their New Year's Resolutions. I really just wanted to write a soft, domestic Spencer fic. The start of the semester just makes me tired, so this was also inspired by my own fatigue. I hope all my tired girlies can relate! If you enjoy this fic, likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated! I hope you’re having a great start to your week and thanks for reading. Love Levi - ❤️

List with all stories

_y/n_ = your name

_y/l/n_ = your last name

_y/f/c_ = your favorite color

_y/c/e_ = your color eyes

_y/f/i/b_ = your favorite indy band

_y/f/j_ = your favorite jewelry

_y/e/c_ = your eye color

_y/b/t_ = your body type

_y/f/r_ = your favorite restaurant

_y/n_ stood in front of the mirror. The _y/f/c_ dress looked as good as it always did, but she didn’t feel like she normally did when it was on. Usually, the short hemline and and scooped neck brought out a confidence in _y/n_ that made her excited for the night ahead, but right now she was just tired. _y/n_ put her head in her hands and let out a sigh. _y/n_ had made one New Year’s Resolution this year, and that was to do more things in the city. _y/n_’s day job kept her cooped up for a good bit of the day, and sometimes on the weekend. The fast transfer to D.C. had been a blessing and a curse. She had met her very loving and supportive boyfriend because of the move. That was the best thing to ever come from a relocation in her life. However, _y/n_ knew she wasn’t great with making friends or having the energy to want to do much outside of spending a quiet night with Spencer in his or her apartment. The fact that _y/n_ kept so isolated was the reason she’d met Spencer. Although _y/n_ didn’t have much energy for friends, she did make time to volunteer. _y/n_ felt that it was important to give back to whatever community she was in. Even if it was something small.

When _y/n_ had moved, she found out that she lived close to a hybrid hospital and assisted living facility. She would see the older ladies in groups sometimes coming back from the shops the short five-minute walk from the store. She’d stopped and helped a lady with her bag, and they’d struck up a conversation in no time. Eileen had talked about how she’d lived in Sherwood Community Living for five years and then asked _y/n_ about herself. _y/n_ was happy to talk with Eileen. She often found talking to those older than her easier than people her age. When they reached the red brick building that was covered in trailing ivy, Eileen said, “You know I haven’t spoken with a young person in some time. I miss it since my kids have moved away.” There was a distant look in Eileen’s eyes before she said, “If you ever have a free afternoon and want to entertain an old lady like me, I’d love to see you again, dear.” _y/n_ smiled and said, “I’d like that, Eileen. I’ll call soon.” _y/n_ kept her word and visited Eileen and then started to know more people in the facility. She’d talk with the woman as they knitted, crocheted, or cross-stiched. Sometimes she’d paint people's fingers, with the hospital’s permission of course. There weren’t only old folks who lived in the space either. Some younger teens needed the constant care that their families simply couldn’t provide. For those kids, _y/n_ brought copies of Teen Vogue and books that she thought they might like. She assumed they might feel isolated without a peer group to hang out with. _y/n_ felt like she could relate to them in that way.

One afternoon as _y/n_ was chatting with Eileen over some coffee, the door opened. _y/n_ had her back to it, but Eileen looked up. Her eyes widened slightly and the old woman raised a hand saying, “Dr. Reid, come over here for a second. I want you to meet my new friend.” _y/n_ flushed. She had told Eileen about her friend woes, so now she had been introduced to almost all of the staff. However, _y/n_ had never heard of Dr. Reid before. _y/n_ turned in her chair and felt even more flustered as the lanky man in a sweater vest and Converse walked toward them. He was cute. Spencer shot Eileen a smile and said, “Good afternoon Mrs. Henderson. How are you today?” Eileen beamed and said, “I’m good, thank you. I just wanted to introduce you to Miss _y/n_ _y/l/n_. It’s nice having some younger faces in here, you know. Lightens the mood.” Spencer nodded and looked over to _y/n_. He took a little breath in at just how pretty _y/n_ was. He took a moment before extending his hand, saying, “It’s nice to meet you, _y/n_. I’m Spencer Reid.” _y/n_ smiled and softly said, “It’s nice to meet you too.” She put her hand in his and they shook. Reid felt her delicate palm in his and his face reddened just a bit. When they dropped hands, _y/n_ plucked up her courage and said, “Do you work here Dr. Reid? I’ve never seen you before.” _y/n_ thought he looked slightly young to be a doctor as well, but didn’t voice that thought. She assumed he was around her age given his appearance. However, his clothes seemed to be trying to make him look older. _y/n_ came back to herself when she realized she was staring. This only caused _y/n_ to flush further. Spencer gave a small smile and said, “No, I don’t. I just come and visit now and then.” _y/n_ nodded in understanding. Reid looked at his watch and said, “Well, I’d better be going. Have a good day, Eileen, _y/n_.” Eileen waived from the table and said, “Take care of yourself, sweetheart.” Once Spencer had gone, _y/n_ sat back down and Eilneen said, “He’s a good one that Dr. Reid.” _y/n_ nodded and asked, “Who is he exactly?” Eileen took a moment, then a sip of her sweet tea before responding, “Oh someone like you, I suppose. He holds a chess club for some of the men. He also gives talks once in a while. They’re very interesting and on all sorts of stuff -- Lorca’s poetry, what’s happening in the Middle East, Boethius’s philosophy. He comes when he can, but he’s a busy young man. He has some dangerous job that takes him all places.” _y/n_ smiled and said, “Well, he sounds very accomplished.” Eileen smiled. She could see the look in _y/n_’s eye. Not wanting to push her luck, Eileen decided to go back to their previous conversation about the soap opera she was currently watching and how the silly character Leena was pissing her off.

_y/n_ looked for Dr. Reid the next few times she visited her friends, but he wasn’t there. The line that Eileen had said about him having a busy, dangerous job stuck with her. _y/n_ wondered what his job was. She couldn’t picture him being a police officer or anything like that. _y/n_ considered looking him up on social media but decided not to. She always thought that was creepy. Eventually, Spencer did come back and everyone seemed happy to have him back. He gave her a wave as he passed her table which she returned with a small smile. Reid couldn’t help but notice her pupils dilate as she smiled at him. Later that afternoon, they both left around the same time. As fate would have it, it was raining pretty heavily and neither of them had brought umbrellas. _y/n_ leaned against the railing under the covered awning while Spencer tapped his foot in what might have been a nervous gesture. Not liking the silence, _y/n_ said jokingly, “You know if your gone that long again they might riot.” Spencer chuckled and moved over to the railing with her. He looked over at _y/n_ and said, “I think the same thing could be said about you and the ladies. Your name gets brought up a lot when I’m here and you’re not around.” _y/n_ flushed, but not from the cold. _y/n_ turned her face away for a moment before asking, “Do you know someone here or…” _y/n_ dropped the end of the sentence because she couldn’t think of another alternative. There was a small silence that lingered. _y/n_ worried that she had said something wrong. However, Spencer filled the silence and replied, “No. I just help out with some things, plan events and stuff.” Spencer looked out into the rain and then added, “My mom is in a facility like this, but she doesn’t live nearby. I find helping out here makes me feel better about not seeing her that often.” _y/n_ looked at Reid as he said this. He looked sort of sad. _y/n_ reached a hesitant arm out and placed it on his arm. Spencer turned his gaze to hers. He looked into _y/n_’s _y/c/e_’s as she said, “That’s very kind of you.” Just as _y/n_ said that the rain started letting up. Soon after that, they both went their own ways.

After that encounter, _y/n_ and Spencer took a few minutes just catching up every time they saw each other at Sherwood. They just exchanged formalities, but it was nice for _y/n_ to talk to someone her age, even if it was just for a few minutes. Time passed as it always did and the seasons changed. Eileen, who had lived a full and happy life passed in the Spring, her favorite season. The ceremony was small and discrete. There were just a few family members at the memorial. The next day, when Eileen was laid to rest, _y/n_ was relieved when she saw Spencer arrive, even if he was late. It felt good to have someone she knew connected to Eileen. When the simple ceremony was over, Spencer could tell that _y/n_ was sad and asked, “_y/n_, would you like to get a coffee or a drink or something to celebrate Eileen’s memory?” _y/n_ sniffled a little and nodded yes. _y/n_ and Spencer ended up talking about how they had met Eileen and their favorite memories with her. There was laughter and a little bit of crying. That was when _y/n_ and Spencer really started to get to know each other, and when Spencer asked her if she’d like to hang out again, and she said yes, _y/n_ had a feeling that Eileen would be proud of her for taking a chance on someone. However, from what _y/n_ knew about Spencer, he was a pretty safe bet. Their relationship had moved on from there. It had moved slowly, but neither minded. Because of the cases Spencer went on, he had to make their dates work when they could.

It had been three months since they had started dating and _y/n_ had met the team on a rare night that the BAU went out. There had been a lot of good-natured teasing from Morgan and a bit of coo-ing from Garcia. Other than that it was a fun and pleasant evening. It was nice for _y/n_ to meet the people who filled the stories that Spencer told her about his cases. The nature of Reid’s work did worry her, but she knew Spencer was the smartest man in any room. If something went wrong, she knew he had already weighed the odds for him and his team's best options. They had started spending more time in each other’s space, and he had been there when she had sworn to do one new thing a week in town as a Resolution. Spencer had upped the ante and said he’d take her to something nice once a month for their set date night. So far they had gone to an art museum and a concert of _y/f/i/b_. Tonight was supposed to be their third nice date on the town. The BAU’s cases had been lighter than usual. The cases that had popped up had been close to D.C. and didn’t take as long to solve. Thus, Spencer had been able to spend more time with _y/n_. He’d been intent on helping her reach her goal of doing more things in the city. He’d booked a reservation at a nice restaurant for them tonight. The place had a waitlist and if _y/n_ wasn’t so tired, she’d be very excited about it. But even as _y/n_ put _y/f/j_, she could feel the call of the bed or couch even now. _y/n_ was standing by the mirror longer than she had realized as Spencer let himself into her apartment. He called out from the front room, asking, “_y/n_, where are you?” _y/n_ replied, “In the bedroom, Spence.” Reid ambled into the room, stood behind _y/n_, and wrapped his lanky arms around her torso. _y/n_ tipped her head up as he kissed her forehead. Spencer loved to compliment _y/n_. He loved everything about _y/n_ from her _y/c/e_’s to your _y/b/t_ that was always the perfect place to give her gentle hugs. Spencer looked over _y/n_ in the mirror. She was wearing one of his favorite outfits of _y/f/c_ dress and her normal rings. He said softly, “You look so beautiful, _y/n_.” _y/n_ looked at her reflection and just said a small, “Hmm” in acknowledgment. She appreciated the compliment. She knew Spencer was always sincere in his words to her. Even though he could go on tangents, or delve into a topic about ten times more deeply, than a normal person, she knew he never exaggerated or over-intellectualized things for her sake. Spencer could see the faraway look in _y/n_’s eyes and the tone with which she had responded to him was different than her normal, chipper greetings, or even the way she got flustered when he showered her in compliments. Reid moved so that he was standing in front of her and asked gently, “_y/n_, are you alright? You sound a little distant?” _y/n_ sighed and said, “It’s really nothing Spencer,” Reid took her hands in his and said, “It doesn’t sound like nothing to me, _y/n_. Please tell me, even if you think it’s something small.” _y/n_ looked at him and replied, “I’m just so tired today. I feel exhausted and I don’t know why. I went to bed at my normal time and felt refreshed this morning, but now it’s like all the energy has been drained from my body. I know that sounds like a bad episode of Dr. Who or something, but I feel worn down. I want to be excited about tonight, I mean, I am excited about tonight, I just know I’d enjoy it more if I had some energy. Maybe I can chug a coffee or something before we go?”

_y/n_ didn’t want to be a buzzkill, but even now, she was just thinking of kicking off her heels and crawling into bed. Spencer nodded slightly as said, “Sweetheart, we can cancel tonight and reschedule it. It makes sense that you’re tired, and I want you to have a good night no matter what we’re doing.” _y/n_ opened her eyes a bit wider in surprise. _y/n_ said, “Are you sure? I know those reservations were hard to get. I can perk up, I promise.” Spencer chuckled and said, “_y/n_, I love you, but you’re a terrible liar. I can see you aching for the bed, and you do look a bit tired.” _y/n_ flushed at Reid's ability to read her. She knew he was a profiler and all, but this skill still surprised her sometimes. Spencer smiled and placed his hand under her chin as he said, “I’m sure, _y/n_. Let me call the restaurant and let them know we can’t make it. Some other couple will be happy to have our spots. And how about I call _y/f/r_ to get some delivery?” _y/n_ nodded and said, “That sounds perfect, Spence. I’m just going to change into something more comfortable while you make those calls.” Spencer nodded and stepped out of the room to give _y/n_ some privacy to change. Even though they had been dating for a few months, _y/n_ was still a little hesitant to be fully undressed in front of Spencer. Those types of things took her time to get comfortable with. Spencer understood and respected those boundaries, and let _y/n_ set the pace for physical intimacy in their relationship.

When _y/n_ had changed into some comfortable sweats and a loose t-shirt and put her heels back in the closet, she moved back into the living room. Spencer was on the couch pulling up their favorite show to watch while they waited for their food. _y/n_ nestled into his side, and he wrapped an arm around her. As the latest episode of the TV show they were watching at the moment started to play softly, _y/n_ asked Spencer, “Why did you say that it was understandable that I was tired? I can’t even figure it out myself.” Reid traced soft patterns on Eli’s side and replied, “I think it’s decision fatigue. People on average make 35,000 conscious decisions every day, and that’s not including things related to work or outside things like changes of plans or sudden new tasks thrown on top of everything else. So I think it’s natural that every few days or weeks people just feel tired. How couldn’t you? Your brain is doing so much work that we don’t even notice it. I don’t think we give ourselves enough credit for everything we do. Also, don’t get me started on how humans aren’t designed to work the way we do today.” _y/n_ smiled at Reid’s intelligence. He always seemed to have a logical answer for everything, and she was comforted by it. The food soon arrived and they spent a quiet evening inside watching their comfort show and talking about what was happening in each other lives. Spencer pulled out a pint of ice cream from the freezer, and they didn’t even bother with bowls. Instead, they just used spoons to dip into the frozen cream mixture. When the night wrapped down, _y/n_ looked over at Spencer and said, “Would you stay here tonight? Having you here is so nice.” Spencer nodded yes. He knew that when he was gone on cases _y/n_ missed him badly. He knew because he missed her too. So any chance they got to spend time together, they did. After they’d both brushed their teeth and washed their faces in the bathroom sink, the couple settled under _y/n_’s covers. Spencer pulled her to his chest, and once she was settled, _y/n_ said, “Well. I already broke my only New Year’s Resolution to go out more,” with a chuckle. Spencer rubbed _y/n_’s back with his long fingers saying, “Well only about nine percent of Americans follow through with their resolutions, and twenty-three percent of people drop them by the first week. So I’d say statistically speaking almost making it to the end of January before giving up is a triumph. Besides, sometimes there are more important things to think about than New Year’s Resolutions. Like taking care of yourself and getting the rest you need.” _y/n_ flushed and said, “Well, when you put it like that, then I guess it’s not so bad after all.” Spencer nodded and said, “And there’s always time. We have the whole year in front of us to explore and go out.” There was a soft silence as they just breathed and enjoyed being next to each other in the bed. _y/n_ thought about the prospect of a whole year spent with Spencer and it warmed her from the inside. She smiled and said, “Thanks for being with me, Spencer. For spending your free time here doing nothing.” Reid kissed the top of her head, and just before _y/n_ fell into a deep sleep, she could hear him say, “It’s not nothing to me, love. And I’ll always be here.”

______________________________________________________________

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liapher · 2 years

Text

Map of the World by @seperis

[Click on the pictures for better resolution.]

I read Map for the first time last year, and a couple months later decided to already reread it. The first time around, you're dropped into this story without knowing what's going on in terms of either the character dynamics or the setting, and it's like a puzzle you get to try to figure out. It's delightful! The second time around, you start out with a lot more puzzle pieces at hand (but absolutely not all of them yet!) and you manage to connect so many more dots. (I swore to myself to not go overboard and still ended up with a ten-way colour-coding system with stickers and writing margin notes. More recently, I decided to read all the comments on the Map AO3 pages, and they are so much fun to read! So many readers have shared really insightful observations, and the author has written a lot of very interesting replies as well. But having to switch back and forth between the story and the comment section is a bit of a bother, and I sensed an interesting typographical challenge, and that's how I found myself typesetting the fic again while adding foot- and margin notes to my heart's content. The book ended up being so long though that I decided to split it into two parts :-)

As for the cover of the first half: Each of the DTA fics introduces you---and the main characters---to a new, larger part of the world. In Map, the focus lies on Cas's cabin as the foundation for the relationship between the two main characters is laid, so Dean and the reader have to open the bead curtain together to get to that part of the story. If I ever get around to giving a similar treatment to the other fics in the series, the cover design would continue correspondingly: opening the gate to Chitaqua for Stars, entering Ichabod's main square for Lights, and stepping through one of the paintings in the white room for Game.

[Typesetting and crafting notes under the cut]

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Typesetting

Okay so the thing is I love very involved typesetting. It's neat to look at, fun to plan (or as a reader, try to reverse engineer the typesetter's decisions), allows you to be a bit of a control freak about all details etc etc. The point of this typesetting project was to include lots and lots of commentary, so my priorities were:

maintain a clear visual distinction between the text and the comments

make the comments easy to read

keep the comments close to the lines they refer to

I used a combination of footnotes and margin notes to make the most of the available space. Margin notes are used whenever a comment is short enough; footnotes otherwise. Fortunately, I was able to typeset the text in such a way that there's no more than one new footnote per page, so I got away with just reusing the degree symbol ° to introduce footnotes and didn't have to work with a numbering system. Most margin notes refer to specific lines as well and here I got to add my favourite little typesetting detail: a manicule :) I based its design on this hand-drawn one.

Other notes: The longest comment is nearly 5 full pages long and is a comment thread about Dean not realizing how laundry works at Chitaqua lol.

I also wanted to prioritize reading comfort, so the margins are rather generous and based on the canons of page construction, and the leading is relatively generous: the body text is set in 11/14 and the comments in 8/12. The drawback is that this means I ended up with a lot more pages than planned (over six hundred). I also don't love that the baselines of the body text and the comments only line up every 6/7 lines, but every other leading option I tried out ended up making the text harder to read---can't have everything at once I guess.

I decided to not include any headers and footers since I think they'd only have made the page appear more crammed without actually adding a lot of useful information. Instead, the page numbers are in the margins, sharing a baseline with the topmost line of text. The beginning of each chapter and/or day is still easy to find since those black tab-like day number indicators extend all the way to the fore-edge:

2. The text block

I wanted these books to have a nice 2:3 (14 cm × 21 cm) page ratio, which meant I needed to trim the fore edge. I had a bit of a paper trimming disaster with another book last week, but for these books I found a method that worked better for me: Use the blade of the cutter to line up the end of the ruler with the spine of the signature at the head of the page, use the cutter to make a tiny cut at the 14 cm mark, repeat at the bottom of the page, and then use the marks you made as a guideline for where to place the ruler to actually cut away the edge.

This is the first time I sewed a book on tapes. I didn't have bona fide bookbinding tape and just used some leftover non-stretchy woven cotton tape (width: 1.5 cm) I had lying around. I followed the video tutorial by DAS. I don't have a sewing frame, but the tape was fairly stiff, so just letting about 2 cm of the tape protrude at the top worked like a charm.

3. Headbands

I followed the two-colour headband instructions by DAS and used a leather band with a diameter of ~1.5 mm as well as some three-ply thread that I got by separating a six-ply embroidery thread. This worked pretty well---the stiff leather band was easier to work with than the shoelace I used last time (mostly because of its even circumference). The slightly tricky thing about the embroidery thread is that the different strands sometimes try to bunch up on top of one another instead of lying flat, but I'm happy with the results. Per headband, the ideal length to work with for this kind of thread and a text block spine width of 23--25 mm was ~30 cm for the green one and ~55 cm for the blue one.

After finishing the headbands, I glued some (80 GSM) paper to the spine---but only between the tapes, to sliightly even out that difference.

4. The case

I followed DAS's video on the square back bradel binding.

The straightforward case:

Front & back: 216 mm x 140 mm

Spine: 23 mm (text block) / 26 mm (case)

Hinge: 7 mm

For the cloth-to-paper ratio of the half binding, I just picked what looked good rather than following the general ratio recommendations. Before gluing on the paper, I used a blue pen to make a couple subtle marks on the bookcloth, which helped a lot while trying to quickly place the paper.

To case in the book, I found it easiest to add a little glue to the spine edge of the back cover, put in the text block and do some quick readjustments, shut the book, let it dry for a few minutes, and then paste down the rest of the back endpaper (maybe in two or three more goes---add glue to the next couple cm, go wild with the bonefolder, repeat). Add glue to all of the front endpaper, shut the book, open it again, go wild with the bonefolder to smooth everything out, done.

For the wrap-around case, I ended up just winging it. It's mostly a square back bradel binding though.

Front, left: 216 mm × 102 mm (at the top)

Back: 216 mm × 145 mm

Spine: 25 mm (text block) / 28 mm (case)

Fore-edge piece: 19 mm

Front, right: 42 mm

The fore-edge piece is thinner than the spine piece since, unlike the latter, it's directly wedged between two pieces of bookboard, and the text block is thicker at the spine than at the fore-edge. I had initially tried making the spine and the wrap-around section level, but that looked a bit silly since you could see the gap between the text block and the right part of the cover.

For the wrap-around part, I glued the back, the fore-edge piece, and the right part of the front cover to a piece of paper (80 GSM), with one board width (2 mm) in between. In retrospect, I should've maybe added 0.5 mm to the hinge between the fore-edge piece and the front so it shuts more easily.

To secure the leather straps with the clasp, I cut two grooves into the bookboard: (Ignore that I obviously only thought of that after I'd already glued the bookcloth to the board, and also ignore the remnants of some paper that are glued to the right edge of the back cover...)

I cut out a couple small bookcloth triangles and used them to fill in the gaps along the back of the curved edge.

I painted on the cover design with some acrylic paint---super fiddly and it took forever, and unfortunately I only did it after casing in the book---before would've been easier. Oh well! I used a pencil to draw guide lines; fortunately it can just be erased from the cloth without leaving a mark or damaging the (dried) paint. (I tried this out on a scrap piece of bookcloth beforehand.)

⁂

In conclusion:

DTA, my beloved

Comments, my beloved

Involved typesetting and crafting projects, my beloved

#down to agincourt #dta #bookbinding #book design #mission update #crafts tag #this was so much work but i'm so happy with how it turned out :)

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imogenleewriter · 11 months

Note

do you currently have time to read fics yourself, and if so, what were the last ones you read and really liked? like something that stuck with you, or where you laughed a lot, etc… :)

I do! I tend to read shorter fics now because I don't have the time or attention span to read long ones at the moment - as a long fic writer, I'm glad other people do! I wrote the summaries below, but the authors' actual summaries are better than mine, so don't let my shitty ones turn you off the fic!

Somebody's Got Your Trainers On (It's You) by @greenblueish (bluegreenish on ao3) Words: 28k. Almost-exes to lovers. Hospital AU.

Louis is a paeds RN and Harry is a paediatrician that used to work at Louis' hospital. Harry leaves, ending his Situationship with Louis. He returns two years later.

My Thoughts: I LOVED this so much that I commented and then messaged Jill. I honestly don't understand how it's only 28k words because it felt like a whole-arse novel! I work in healthcare (and have worked in paeds) and it was the most accurate description of a ward setting, ward life, healthcare, and paeds that I've ever read. Not a single thing made me cringe. It was paced perfectly and had the right amount of tension and resolution. SO good.

you've set my soul to dreaming @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed (we_are_the_same on ao3). Word count: 9.2K. Strangers to lovers. Kind of time travel... kind of.

Harry wakes up one Christmas morning expecting to be alone, like he was when he went to be the night before. Instead he wakes up in his bed, but everything else has changed. He quickly falls in love with his new life and is terrified that it won't last.

My Thoughts: Another fic that felt much longer than the WC (9.2k) because it was so in-depth. I have so much respect for writers who can say so much in so few words! It definitely lived up to the fluff and angst tag. I was almost worried it wasn't going to have a happy ending but it did and even included a short but satisfying epilogue.

Love in Conversation by @hellolovers13 Word Count: 4.9k. Strangers to lovers. Baking phone line.

Despite his protests, Louis has been tasked with making a birthday cake for his younger siblings. The problem? He has no idea what he is doing. After some failed attempts, he stumbles across a helpline for baking mishaps. The other voice on the line does their best to help over the phone, but when Louis still can't get it right, they realise that Louis might need a bit more guidance.

My Thoughts: Just like the premise, this one was super sweet. Both characters were extremely lovable. Just a really cute fic.

Just the two of us (we can make it if we try) by @starryhaze28 (starryhaze on ao3) Word Count: 5.9k. Established couple. A/B/O. Mpreg.

Louis is concerned because his omega has been yo-yo-ing between needy and distant and won't tell him why. As time goes by, he gets increasingly worried. Then he founds out his omega is pregnant.

My Thoughts: Established relationships and mpreg aren't usually my jam, however, this one had enough angst and fluff to draw me in. Very, very sweet.

The Space Between by @alltheselights Word Count: 39.9k. Strangers to lovers. A/B/O. Famous/Non-Famous.

Harry Styles is an alpha and famous rockstar who has everything except for the ability to sleep. When he reaches breaking point, Louis Tomlinson, an omega psychology PhD student, is contacted for his professional sleeping skills. Their relationship drifts into unprofessional territory, though.

My Thoughts: As someone very invested in sleeping - because I also lack the ability - I appreciated this fic. It was another "How did they cover so much in so few words" fic. Had the perfect amount of angst towards the end, a satisfying and lovely resolution.

Something To Remember by @parmahamlarrie Word Count: 25k. Strangers to lovers. Soulmate AU. Famous/Non-famous.

Both Louis and Harry find themselves in an Exclusive Resort in Maui for their respective jobs. Living in a universe where tattoos appear on your skin when you see your soulmate, both of them are surprised that tattoos start showing up. As time keeps passing, getting closer to their departures, they start to fear they'll never actually get to meet their soulmate.

My Thoughts: Not going to lie, I got a bit anxious that they weren't going to meet. You know I love a good countdown and this fic had one... and it served its purpose well, lol. But they do meet, and it's beautiful. Another beautiful fic.

Quiet People Have The Loudest Minds by @2tiedships2 Word Count: 38k. Strangers to Lovers. A/B/O.

Louis is a non-verbal omega and is at a Broadway show, but the alpha next to him is stealing all of his attention, and he just wants him to leave. Until the alpha introduces himself as Harry and offers to leave.

My Thoughts: ANOTHER one that felt as though it had a much longer word count because it was so in-depth. I really like the diversity representation. As someone who isn't non-verbal, I can't vouch for the accuracy; however, from the knowledge and experience I do have, it seemed to be handled really well and respectfully. Extremely well-written and another lovely read.

The next two are both by @zanniscaramouche (zanni_scaramouche on ao3):

My Pleasure (to make you mine), Word Count: 6.5k. Strangers to lovers. Piercing. Praise Kink.

Harry decides to get his nipples pierced, and Louis is the right person for the job.

Your Pain (is mine now) Word Count: 5.1k. Stranges to lovers. Tattoo. Pain and praise kink.

Louis decides to get a tattoo done by Harry.

My Thoughts: I'm putting them together as they have very similar vibes (and are written by the same person, lol). Both have light elements of BDSM and are portrayed softly and sweetly. The writing is amazing! You know how people say, "I've read fics where the writing is better than published books?" Well, okay, that IS a lot of fics, but Zanni 100% fits into that category!

Do You See What I See by @allwaswell16 Word Count: 2k. Mix between Strangers/friends to lovers.

Harry just really cares about lost animals. Really, really cares about them. He cares about potentially lost ones too. Ones that, you know, might not actually be lost. Best to take them to the vet, just in case.

My Thoughts: You asked if I have read any funny ones that made me laugh a lot, and I'm still laughing about this one. It's only 2k words, so I don't want to say too much about it. But awkward Harry is my new favourite thing.

Also, whenever I reblog a fic, that is generally a sign that I loved it!

For transparency's sake, I read a lot of questionable smut that is so questionable that I have not included it!

#larry stylison fanfiction #larryfiction #larry fic recs

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