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justawritterwithideas · 1 year

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law in pink | s.r

♡ next part ♡

summary: when the BAU needs an extra helping hand, Washington decides to send the best of the best, but what they didn't expect was to see... pink.

warnings: a bit of stereotypes, beyond that a bit of comedy and fluff. there may be mistakes in writing because I wrote it too fast :(

this story is spencer reid (season 7) x ssa elle woods!reader

words: 1,649 words.

a/n: elle woods from legally blonde comes to my mind constantly because is one of my favorite movies, so I wanted to make a mix called "ssa elle woods"; I hope you like it and you can understand the idea of reader as elle woods, I also hope I didn't portray it wrong and that it will be misunderstood T T

The BAU needed a hand with the rising crime wave, so, straight from Washington they sent the best of the best from their office.

And of course Penelope had to investigate.

According to her research, you had graduated from Harvard with honors and had given the honorary alumni speech at your class graduation. In addition, you were a part-time Harvard professor of Political Theory during the fall and part of a prolific group of researchers in your Washington office, which had the highest rate of successfully resolved cases in the last 5 years.

In addition, you had achieved on your LSAT a score of 179 out of 180 points.

Something inside Penelope reminded her a little of her friend, Spencer Reid, in you.

But what she didn't expect to see when she looked you up on the interwebs was the fashionista and family friendly life you had. The way your apartment was decorated with a pretty pink aesthetic, your outfits videos that reached millions of views and your day to day routines were the mantra of many girls, being all perfectly edited.

With that and more, anyone would think that your job was not to be a federal agent, but an influencer.

Penelope was already smelling perfume from her computer, and that made her more than eager to meet you.

It was seeing one just like her in front of her screen.

You were the perfect candidate to be her new best friend.

The clacking of your heels and the smell of your Chanel perfume filled the entire BAU office, causing the complicit glances of all the workers who were there.

"Have you seen Barbie yet?" "Is the model missing?" "What about her? Maybe she's a lost intern. First-timer problems."

Everyone was making comments you'd heard more than once in some police office, maybe it was the way you dressed didn't go along with the aesthetic they had or how feminine your attire might be, but that's who you were and for a couple of comments about your appearance and the stereotype they had they weren't going to sour your day.

"Excuse me, are you looking for someone?"

You turned to see a tall, dark man, who was watching your outfit from last season's Prada fit you to perfection.

"Oh! Finally someone nice." You commented with a smile. "Yes, I'm looking for Agent Aaron Hotchner."

"He's my boss, would you like help finding his office? I can help you."

"That would be great, thank you very much..."

"Agent Morgan, Derek Morgan."

"It's a pleasure, Agent Derek. I'm Y/N, nice to meet you."

You didn't like to introduce yourself officially as an agent, it made you look rather intimidating if you did, and that was what you didn't want.

It wasn't a long walk to the wooden door which was adorned by a plaque with the name of the person you were looking for.

"This is it, you come for a case? Any family members involved?"

"No, I'm coming to help. Thank you very much, by the way."

You gave him one last smile before knocking on the door, hearing a "pass" from inside.

"Who was the girl you were escorting, Derek?" Emily watched the man reach them, peering curiously inside Hotch's office.

"Her name is Y/N, she said she was coming to help, but... I don't know, she doesn't look like someone coming to help, maybe she's a witness."

Spencer's eyes scanned the situation, trying to conclude who the mystery woman inside his boss's office was about, but coming up with nothing on the spot. Like his friends, they were all searching for an answer to the abiding doubt in his head.

Who exactly was that girl and why had she said that? She didn't seem like a person whose job was an office job, but not one that was very risky either.

But before they could say anything, Aaron came out of the office with his ever-serious face.

"Meeting in 5" was the only thing he announced, so the group took heed and went to the place.

Once inside the office, Penelope found herself with her dear friends, who were trying to figure out the causes of the recent meeting.

"You don't know Pen either, do you?" J.J. was the first to speak.

"No idea, Hotch just asked me to be here."

"Just like everyone else." Rossi replied, settling around the round table with his coffee cup.

The conversation didn't last long when Hotch entered the boardroom.

"Good. I know there's no case yet or apparent reason to get them together first thing." Hotch began. "But as you may know, the last couple of months have seen an increase in crime for the BAU, which is exactly why we've been given extra funding to bring an extra agent onto the team."

Sounds of excitement came from everyone's mouths.

"So I've been contacting old colleagues, who recommended the best of the best. So they've transferred an agent from Washington to help us."

"Boy, they must be desperate." Derek's comment drew a few chuckles.

"I'd like to introduce you to the SSA, Y/N Woods."

Everyone's countenance changed to one of surprise when they saw you walk in, smiling in the friendliest way possible.

The same girl who looked like a model fresh off a runway was the newest member of the BAU.

"It's nice to meet you all, I hope we can work well together." You set your Prada bag to the side, being able to scan each of the members quickly.

"Woods, this is SSA Emily Prentiss, Derek Morgan, Jennifer Jareau, David Rossi, dr. Spencer Reid and our technical analyst, Penelope Garcia."

"Hey, I know you." You commented in the direction of Garcia, who was smiling politely. "You were the girl who commented on my recipe for the vegetarian tacos."

"Yes! They looked exquisite."

"Thank you very much, I hope they were helpful. We need to be a little more conscientious with our four-legged friends."

Spencer didn't know if he was dazzled by the whiteness of your teeth or the warm way you had entered into trust with Penelope with a simple recipe.

"Woods, Garcia. You'll have time to talk."

"I'm sorry, sir." They both replied at the same time.

"Fine, I'll go prepare the case, Garcia come with me."

They both walked out of the meeting room, leaving you alone with the rest of your new group of colleagues.

"I didn't know you were an agent." Derek was the first to break the silence surrounding them, causing you to turn in his direction.

"I didn't mean to mention it, I'm not a person who usually blurts it out just like that on the first interaction. You never know what kind of person a stranger is." You commented before you could look at him again. "No offense."

"No problem."

"From Washington, right?" Your gaze went to the blonde, who was watching from her position with a warm smile.

"That's right, even though I'm from California but I moved to Massachusetts after getting into Harvard, and then to Washington when I got an opening in the federal office there. So I'm from here, there and over there, but I'll always be a California gurl." A chuckle came out of your mouth after making a reference to the Katy Perry song, bringing your hands to your sides.

"Harvard? What did you study?" Spencer looked more and more interested.

"Law." You commented offhandedly. "I actually studied Fashion Merchandising at UCLA with a 4.0 GPA. But I wanted to prove myself and decided to get into Harvard Law."

"Switching from Fashion Merchandising at UCLA to Harvard Law is a big jump, how much did you get on your entrance exam?" Rossi asked.

"179."

Everyone's surprised face made an impression on you.

"What, like it's hard?" your eyelashes fluttered softly, before you remembered what you were holding as a "peace offering". "By the way, I made cookies yesterday for being the first day and making a good impression." Your hands went to your bag, pulling out a heart-shaped tupperware. "They're lavender and butter, it's a recipe I read on a fairly well known blog forum, they say Paris Hilton gets her recipes from there."

You held out the tupper to each of them to take out a cookie, leaving it on the table in case they liked to take out more.

"If they like more, just pull out. There's enough for everyone." A little smile tugged at your mouth. But before you heard any response from either person, the catchy ringtone of Gwen Stefani's "Rich Girl" interrupted any culinary criticism. "Excuse me..." Your hand went for your phone, which didn't surprise others by being pink, and you left the room letting out a "Woods" as you answered.

"This is new." Derek said.

"And delicious." Emily took another bite of her cookie.

"She's different than what we usually know." Rossi looked at the rest, taking a second cookie out of the tupper. "But I don't mind at all, in fact, I think new always comes in good."

"True, it's always good to have someone new and with a different vibe."

The group turned to look at Reid, who was holding the cookie with his right hand. The young man wasn't usually one to blurt out a comment, just like that, least of all referring to a girl.

"Oh kid, you find her attractive." Derek was the first to smile in amusement.

"What, no." The voice in a higher pitched tone than normal was what gave Spencer away.

"Spencer likes Y/N." J.J annoyed, walking out of the office laughing along with Emily.

"That's not true!"

"See ya, lover boy." Derek commented along with Rossi, who was gently patting his shoulder with a knowing smile.

And so it was that Spencer was left in the meeting room with his cheeks as pink as his new co-worker's heels.

♡ next part ♡

If you like it, don't forget to like and repost it.

a lot of love, alme. ❀

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid fanfic #blurb #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #spencer reid x elle woods!reader #legally blonde is superior #alme was here!

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hellvcifer · 1 month

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ANGEL SUPPORT SERVICES—

pairing; lucifer x fem!angel!reader (?), slight adam x fem!angel!reader (?) i don't know yet. still developing ideas atp wc; 2.9k note; yeah i really don't know where this story will go but it's been stuck in my head for a bit. hope you enjoy!! and let me know who the pairing should be bcs i can't decide lol !!

“Hello!” Charlie peeked around the door, eyes glancing side-to-side as she took in the decor. Various whites and golds fancily accentuated the interior of the Embassy. She walked in further, noting the long pathway, surrounded by empty seating, all leading up to a desk in the distance. “Hello?” Her soft voice echoed with the sound of her footsteps. “Helloo~o…? Cre~epy…” Her face scrunched, shoulders curling in as she got closer to the lone desk.

She approached, not knowing what else to do. This being her first time at the Heaven Embassy and all. A solid gold bell was centered on the white porcelain, embellished with fanciful design and begging someone to ring it. Charlie stared at it for a moment before her hand slapped the top of it. The emitted chime was soft and held out the delightful sound.

A bright flash of light emitted from behind the desk, swirls of golden flowers and sparkling light appearing and growing bigger before revealing a figure wrapped in a mass of feathers. They shuffled a bit and spread out widely to reveal the back of the owner.

“Oh!” You turned around, eyes widening upon seeing the guest. “Welcome to the Heaven Embassy!” You smiled brightly, arms held out to gesture to the place. “I'm with Angel Support Services, you can call me Y/N, how can I help you?”

“Oh, uh Hi! I’m Charlie! Charlie Morningstar.” The girl returned your energy, eyes attentive. “So nice to meet you! I’m here for a meeting with, uh, Heaven.” She explained.

“Right!” Your eyes scanned her quickly, “I heard they were sending someone… new.” You giggled.

“Yes! I’m here filling in for my father, of course, I’m sure you know that but I really wanted to present my new idea about rehabbing sinners and the–”

“Rehabbing sinners?” Your eyes widened, lips curling in. Hand covered your mouth.

“I know right! Just the best solution to our problem! It may sound a little crazy but I’ve compiled an entire speech–”

“That is… A great idea.” You interrupted her, swallowing down your laughter. Oh, he is gonna eat her alive. “I’m sure they would love to hear it.” Your hands flourished in the air and a pen appeared in one while a scroll in the other. The glow on them shined as you set the paper in front of the girl. “Please sign in here.”

“Oh, Okay!” She grabbed the pen, “I'm super happy to be here! It’s so nice to meet with such friendly people from Heaven considering the ex–Oh!” As soon as she finished signing, the items disappeared and shocked her.

“Of course, of course! We get that alot.” You continued your cheery tune as a door opened on your right. “Through there please.” You gestured in the said direction.

“Just, uh walk in then, huh?” Charlie asked.

You smirked with a nod, eyes sharpening though she seemed oblivious. “Good luck!” You waved with a twiddle of your fingers, watching her leave. “You’re gonna need it~” You spoke quietly, watching the doors shut behind her. You shook your head releasing a sigh.

Within the next hour you remained at the desk within the Embassy, awaiting the poor girl’s exit. No doubt going on and on about her silly little rehabilitation idea. Though her confidence was thick and made you admire that.

Once a year this happened, and it was the same every time. Answer the ring, pop on down, sign in whomever was visiting, and leave. Typically it had been Lucifer. But it seems that he’s sent his daughter to do it to avoid talking with you. Ever since, well… Last time, he just didn't want to see you. You huffed, sad that you wouldn’t get the chance to talk out the incident. Not that you would even know what to say.

The doors opened, a flash of red was twirled out of it and you saw Charlie land on the floor. Papers scattered around her as she tried to stand. The unnerving guitar of Heaven’s representative rifted throughout the building. The girl stood and walked towards the closing doors.

“Um–Wait, didn’t you–” The last thing she saw was the devious smile of Adam before she was left in darkness. The last sliver of light snuffed out. “Awh, shit!” She slammed her fist against the heavy gold.

You rested your cheek against your hand, smirk ever prominent as you watched the whole thing play out. The girl was breathing heavily, head now leaning against the cold material. “Sooo, how’d it go?” Your voice was ever cheerful, dripping with a knowing cynicality.

Charlie groaned out in response as she began picking up the drawings she originally presented earlier.

“Yeah, that’s what most people say after meeting Adam.” You snickered. “Heaven’s finest first man, an absolute angel.” You stood straight. “Don’t take it to heart, he’s like that to everyone~” You sang out the final word as Charlie stood, her papers neatly stacked in her arms before they disappeared. She looked up at you, seeing how your expression oozed with intent.

“You knew he would react like that?” Her tone raised, questioning your actions.

“Oh honey,” Your brows dipped as a slight pout appeared on your lips. “It’s Adam. Everyone knows. He literally calls himself the original–”

“–Dickmaster,” You finished together. “Yeah, yeah.” Charlie added.

“See! Look at you catching on so quickly.” Your hands clasped together as you brought them to your chest.

Charlie groaned, taking a few steps forward. “Why wouldn’t you warn me before going in there?” She didn’t seem angry as she spoke, more shocked, more frustrated than ever. “I could have prepared better, or shifted my presentation, I just–Ugh!”

“The real question is: Why wouldn’t your father? He’s met with Adam plenty of times before.” Your words made her inhale sharply, eyes widening. “Eeouh~ Daddy issues? It's okay, we all have ‘em.” Your wings opened, flapping a few times and raising you off the floor to sit on your desk. “As much as I would love to help, Sweetie, I got more important things to deal with on the up-side, so if you don’t mind.” Your arm swung out, hand presenting the exit that was in line of sight.

Charlie huffed before walking towards the exit, hand reaching out for the handle. You smiled as she opened the door and waved at her. “Come again!”

As the resounding slam of the door echoed throughout the chamber, that was your cue to take your own leave. With a flash of light, you appeared back into the holy grounds of Heaven. The large golden gates in your view and a familiar face standing atop of the podium.

“Y/N! Welcome back! How was the day down below?”

“Hi Saint Peter!” You greeted him, walking down the golden path to the entrance. “Same as always, super boring!” You waved a hand, sticking your tongue out. “Anyways, I’m off to pick up the notes from the meeting. Have you seen Ella?”

“Oooh, yeah. Sera asked her to cover the greeting party for new souls today and asked me, to tell you, that you’ll have to retrieve the notes from today.” His face seemed like he was in pain as he explained what happened to you.

Your form all but deflated at the news. “Wonderful.” You groaned out the word, watching the golden gate open. You trudged through, smiling at the post angel and waving, “Thanks, Peter!” You tried to remain cheerful, wings outspread and lifted you into the air. He returned your wave and as you left, closed the gates.

With Ella gone, her duties now shifted to you as requested by Sera. Which meant you had to go deal with the First Dick. You rolled your eyes as you flew above buildings, weaving through the other residents of Heaven until you reached Headquarters.

The area was a combination of large buildings, all placed neatly in a secure area for higher ranking angels. They were decorated with the overdone gold accents and white porcelain walls. Seriously, how did they not come up with anything a bit more original. You landed on the ground and walked into one of the higher bestowed skyscrapers, being greeted by others as you did. It didn’t take long to navigate towards the elevator and pressing the button to bring you to the right level.

You wondered why you felt the need to complete these tasks so quickly. Perhaps to feel the relief of the day being over; the chore having been finished. Just so you can enjoy the happy days of Heaven ahead. The days of the Holy and gifted, where nothing can go wrong and everything is perfect. Not a single thing misplaced or misused. Just… Perfect.

Once you arrived, your steps chorused down the long hallway. At the very end was a giant door leading to the one you were hoping to avoid. Just before it on the left was a smaller office that you stopped in front of. You knocked twice and waited for an answer. It swung open to reveal none other than–

“Lute.” You greeted rather blandly.

“Y/N.” Her eyes were widened but she quickly bowed her head, hand raising to her chest as she did so. “To what do I owe the honor?”

You strutted into her office, eyes looking around though uninterested in anything you saw, “Ella’s out and I need the meeting notes for my report.” You quickly turned to her. “That shouldn’t be an issue, I presume?”

She straightened, “Of course not.” She walked over to her desk, picking up the pile of papers before handing them to you. You scanned them, noting the diction used and how well they were written. Obviously not Adam’s doing. You sighed though you didn’t care if he wrote them or not. “Should I notify Adam of your arrival?”

“No! No, no.” You began walking towards the door, stepping through the threshold. “That will not be necessary. In fact, don’t even mention I stopped by, mmkay? Good. Bye-bye!” You smiled though it never fully made its way to your eyes. Your pace was fast down the hallway as you reached the elevator. Luckily no one had called it and it was still on the level.

The doors opened immediately and you entered, turning around to hit the button for the lobby. You released a heavy breath and waited for the elevator to react. As the doors began to shut, the large office at the end of the hallway began to open.

A familiar figure stepped out, “Hey! Danger Tits! when’s that dorky chick with the–” he saw you in the small gap that remained open. His body froze, mouth opened as his thoughts halted. He watched as the panels came closer together, his lips moving to utter the only thing he could process. “Y/N?”

The doors shut as you gulped. You exhaled heavily, feeling your body release any tension you had from seeing him. What a nightmare that would have been to deal with. You’ve avoided him as much as possible within the last year. Though with both of your positions, it was inevitable you run into each other from time-to-time. Quick exits and excuses were second nature to you now.

This moment for instance, you made your escape from the building and ventured over to the main one; having passed by other coworkers and fellow angels along the way. One of the final people on your list to see was Sera to hand over your report and the notes.

This wasn’t your ordinary day in Heaven but it was certainly the busiest out of the year. Heaven had a meeting with Hell once a year to discuss any necessary things and then it was left in the wind until the next one. It wasn’t your favorite thing to be in charge of, but then again you were rewarded nicely for it. Not to mention, it was recently adjusted that there will be meetings held twice a year now. Something about boosting morale with those below.

Considering how close the buildings were, it was fairly easy to make your way to Sera’s office. You knocked and heard a soft “Come in.” You opened the door and saw her having a cup of tea with Emily sitting next to her. The younger Seraphim grinned widely at the sight of you.

“Oh my goodness, Y/N!” She jumped from her seat and glided over to you. “How was your day? Did you have fun visiting Hell? Did you meet anyone? Please, tell me all about it!” Her joyous attitude reminded you of the new representative put forth for Hell. Charlie.

You gently laughed as she pulled you forward. “Alright, that’s enough, Emily.” Sera called out with a calming voice, pieced with a smile and causing the girl to release her grip.

She nervously chuckled, “Sorry~”

“Welcome, Y/N.” She glanced down at the papers in your hand. “I assume that is the report from today’s meeting?”

“As requested.” You held them up and they gently floated towards Sera before laying in her hands and disappearing into thin air.

“Your work today is appreciated.” She bowed her head towards you. “I hope it wasn’t too much trouble visiting them. Please join us.” She gestured to an empty chair at the table.

“Not at all.” You sat, and Emily rejoined the two of you. “In fact, it was mildly entertaining this time around.”

“Oh! How exciting!” Em interjected, eyes awaiting for more information.

“As you know, Hell put forth a new representative this year.” You took a sip of the freshly poured cup of tea in front of you as you explained. “She was going on and on about rehabilitating sinners as a solution to the population problem they’re having.”

They both nearly spat out their drinks, each with an opposite expression. “That’s a great idea!” “That’s a horrible idea.” You chuckled at their different responses, spoken at once.

“But why not!” Em spoke up, “It could bring an end to the issue we’ve been dealing with for so long! Not to mention, it could bring us closer to those down in Hell–”

“Sinner Rehabilitation has no evidence of working.” Sera was quick to say, “If it were even possible, we would know about it. We must not question divine judgment.”

“But Sera–”

“That’s enough.” Her tone was stern, ending the conversation.

You took another sip of your drink, sighing into the tense air, “I guess it’s better than the extermination.” You hummed absentmindedly.

“What?” Sera was shocked at the mention of the word, her voice coming out sharply as she stared at you with wide eyes.

You turned to her. “You know,” Your hand twirled in the air as you explained. “The proposal that Adam gave forever ago but it was denied at the high council meeting.” You casually mentioned.

“I don’t remember that.” Em’s finger found her chin as she tilted her head.

You smiled. “Waay~ before your time. It was shot down before there could even be a discussion about it.” You answered. “Anyways, I’ve gotta fly. Meeting~” You explained bluntly and rose from your seat, turning to leave. “It was nice seeing you two!”

“Y/N.” Sera called out, causing you to stop and swivel your head. “Uh,” She glanced down at Emily. “A word, before you go.” She followed you out of her office, signaling the younger to stay behind. Once the door was shut, she cleared her throat.

“About the proposal,” She spoke quietly, calm eyes masking her shakiness. “That won’t be brought up to…” She eluded without saying.

You laughed, dismissing her worries with a flap of your hand. “Don’t worry. Rehabilitating sinners? Like they would be on board with that, am I right?”

Sera tried to join in, though she cleared her throat, “And… about the other one.”

“Other one?” You questioned before realizing. “Oh~ The extermination?” You scoffed. “Yeah, no. It was relayed a long time ago when it was initially discussed. No use in bringing up the past. It was declined for a reason.” You squinted at her. “Unless there’s something I should know about…”

“No! No, of course not.” She held a hand up, closing her eyes with a soft smile. “I just wanted to make sure all things are transparent between us and them.”

You instantly shifted, grinning at her answer. “Great! See you around.” You walked off though an uneasy feeling remained within your stomach.

Quickly, you made your way over to your own office, popping through the door and shutting it. Now, you waited. It was bound to happen soon, it always did after a meeting at the Embassy occurred.

You were chosen, hand picked as they admitted. And though the honor was bestowed upon you in all its glory, the burden you felt took its toll on you. As much as you felt gifted for being picked, there was no relief to the loneliness you felt in your position.

The gold necklace you wore began to glow, humming loudly as the light grew brighter by the second. It was starting. You took a deep breath, preparing yourself. A flash of white encapsulated you and you appeared into a familiar office.

A desk was placed some feet in front of you, the luxurious chair turned away from you. All you could see were the crossed legs of a sat figure, long and dainty, angled just slightly to the right. Cladded in white dress pants, he stared out the giant window that silhouette him.

“Long time, no see…” He leaned forward, blonde hair peeking past the backrest of his chair. “Y/N.”

likes and reblogs appreciated ♡ ┆ part 2

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #lucifer x reader #hazbin hotel lucifer x reader #hazbin lucifer x reader #hazbin adam x reader #hazbin hotel insert #hazbin hotel fanfiction #lucifer morningstar x reader #hazbin hotel adam x reader #angel support services

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hemmingsleclerc · 2 months

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The Leclerc's ┃CL16

Y/N Leclerc looked out the large windows of her new apartment in Monaco. It was a new beginning for Y/N, her now husband Charles, and their four-year-old daughter, Emma.

Excitement filled the air as Y/N prepared for her daughter's first day of school. She carefully combed her little girl's hair, tied it into a ponytail, and helped her into her impeccable school uniform. As they walked hand in hand to the prestigious international school in Monaco, Y/N couldn't help but feel a little nervous. Moving to a new place and enrolling Emma in a new school were significant changes.

She and Charles had met at one of his races. She had been an F1 lover since she was little and when she was able to attend one she did not waste the opportunity. As fate would have it, they met and Charles fell completely in love with her, so it didn't take him long to ask her out, although Y/N didn't accept right away, and that motivated Charles to keep trying.

She had already been to Monaco numerous times in the 6 years of dating Charles, but moving there permanently was something totally different.

When Charles asked her to marry her, he had begged her to move to Monaco after the wedding and she really had no reason to refuse, Monaco was a beautiful and safe place for both of them to be able to raise their daughter in the best way.

Arriving at the school, Y/N and Emma were greeted by the sleek, modern architecture. They headed to the reception area, where a group of teachers and staff were busy.

"Bonjour, madame. How may I assist you?" the receptionist asked with a raised eyebrow, eyeing Y/N's casual yet elegant outfit.

"I'm here to enroll my daughter Emma in school. We just moved to Monaco," Y/N explained with a smile.

''Okay, what's your daughter's name?'' she asked

''Emma Jules Leclerc''

''Leclerc? Like the driver?''

''Yes, he's my husband actually'' Y/N responded

''really?''

''yes'' Y/N said losing patience little by little

The receptionist, along with a couple of nearby teachers, exchanged disbelieving glances. Suppressing laughter, they could not imagine that the ''supposed'' wife of the Charles Leclerc, would be standing in front of them.

The teachers exchanged knowing looks, convinced that Y/N was simply trying to impress them with a famous name.

"I'm sorry, ma'am. We take our check-in process seriously. If you are joking or providing false information, it will not be taken lightly," the receptionist warned, a hint of condescension in her tone.

Y/N couldn't believe what she had just heard, wanting to shout something in their faces for such stupidity, she maintained her composure and completed the registration procedures. She politely bid them farewell and left, promising to prove them wrong.

A few days later, Charles entered the school and his presence attracted attention. Dressed casually but calmly, he had an air of confidence as he approached the reception area.

"Bonjour! I'm here to pick up my daughter," Charles announced with a charming smile.

The receptionist could barely speak when she had such a man in front of her. With a slightly trembling voice she asked, "What is the name of your daughter, may I ask sir?"

''Emma, Emma Jules Leclerc, my wife signed her up a couple of days ago.''

''Your-your wife?''

The receptionist and the teachers, who had made fun of Y/N before, were paralyzed by surprise and little by little they felt the color leave their faces.

"Mon-cherie, everything fine?" Charles asked, wrapping an arm around Y/N's waist once she joined him.

''Of course darling''

Y/N smiled triumphantly, looking at the stunned receptionist and the teachers. Emma, holding her father's hand, smiled amused.

"Told ya'll he's my daddy," Emma declared sticking her tongue out , and Charles chuckled, giving his wife a knowing glance.

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angelicyouth · 3 months

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Proscenium

⇢ pairing(s): multiple x newkid!reader

⇢ genre: identity reveal ; the stick of truth + the fractured but whole AU

⇢ synopsis: ❝The beginning of the new school year reveals to your friends that you were never a boy like they've always believed you to be, but a girl—and that you have been one the entire time that you've known them.❞

⇢ warning: recreational drug use

⇢ [AO3 link] ; [series masterlist]

⇢ note: this picks up years after the two video games that this AU takes place in (the flashbacks in this story are canon to the games) but can be read with no prior knowledge of them! :)

At thirteen years old, hormones slowly crept up into one’s life until puberty suddenly hit everyone all at once and all too fast. It was in the 8th grade that everyone came back from summer vacation different—what was once baby fat and ambiguous soft edges turned into more defined features and deeper voices. The appearance of girls altered in a way that could only be described as more developed, filling out in areas that they just didn’t used to.

Mr. Garrison decided that with this fresh transition into the beginning of their teenage years, that it would be a swell idea to teach his students about the notion of responsibility and of all the things that encompass it. This led to everyone sitting on the well-worn yet soft material of the fabric that adorns the chairs in the theater belonging to the town’s local middle school.

“Class, settle down now. I want all of you to know that before we begin, each and every one of you are talented. It may not be catered for the skills needed to succeed in theater, like singing or dancing. But don’t be ashamed of trying your best because I’ll find a job for every single one of you. Costume design, stagehand, the set—they’re just as important as the actors, you hear me?” The older man says in reassurance at his heightened stance on the wooden stage, looking at the sea of students that had varying degrees of uncertainty and excitement on their faces.

With these tentative first steps into their young adulthood, everyone was feeling lingering traces of insecurity and confusion. It was the start of the years where the children of South Park were trying to explore themselves as individuals—trying to find out who they are and where they truly belonged.

As such, it was also the time where they often felt too ‘cool’ to try hard in order to fit in with the rest of their peers. Everyone just wanted to belong, to not be labeled as an outcast. This was driven by certain people being naturally blessed by mother nature, their hormones making them conventionally attractive whereas some were struggling with artificial things for societal standards such as the condition of their skin or the metal bulk of their braces.

It was the awkward stage of life where people were more self conscious, more self aware of how they looked and how they spoke—who they hung out with and what their interests were. This was the beginning of when people started paying closer attention to their sexuality, to the genders of the members that each person found themselves attracted to.

It was also the beginning of when the boys started paying closer attention to Y/N L/N.

See, you had always hung out with the boys, often forgoing the likes of Wendy Testaburger or Bebe Stevens. Not because you didn’t like the group of girls in class (because they were still your dear friends, never forgetting to extend a personal invite to you for lunch on the weekends or to trips to the mall), but more so because the guys had claimed you first. They’re all you’ve ever known since the fourth grade—from when you were still the new kid to now, they’ve always been a constant presence both during school and after.

You were there when the boys decided to dedicate their free time to live action role-playing games, like superheroes or fantasy. During the nights that were spent finding scrap fabric to put together and painting props for when they donned their multicolored costumes and created super aliases. Or when the Kingdom of Kupa Keep was at war with The Elves for the wooden relic that once possessed the control of the whole entire universe.

The thing was, living in a mountain town like South Park meant that people typically adorned multiple, thick layers of material to help insulate themselves against the freezing temperatures. You, of course, weren’t an exception to the weather as you didn’t grow up here like the rest of your friends, which meant that you always kept either your hood up or wore a hat to keep yourself warm.

Granted, you didn’t find out until later on that your parents were actively trying to hide your identity from the government, but this inadvertently assisted in everyone misgendering you. It also didn’t help that you were silent in nature and therefore never bothered to correct anyone, but on the other hand, this earned you the fond nickname of ‘Douchebag’ and the boys never quite realizing that you were not a boy, but a girl.

・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

You were late for the first day of the school year, rushing to rip off all of the paper tags attached to the new clothing your mother bought for you when she realized how quickly you outgrew your wardrobe during the summer. Unsteadily hopping around on one foot with a toothbrush wedged into your mouth, you finally got a leg through the soft material of the skirt that you were going to wear for the day.

Discreetly trying to open the heavy double doors leading to the school’s auditorium proves to be futile as everyone casts their bored eyes towards the disturbance at the back of the room. Keeping your head lowered in an attempt to stay hidden, your legs rush to bring your body to where your group of friends were sitting.

“Uh, what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Cartman arrogantly calls out when your body lands onto an unoccupied seat near him, your eyes rolling as you lay your backpack on the floor beside your feet.

“Aye! I’m fucking talking to you!” The larger teen yells in indignation when you continue to ignore him, his face heating up in anger when the guys begin to snicker behind their hands.

Heaving his body up, Cartman leans closer to you to roughly yank the hood off of your head to identify the current bane of his existence. This, however, leads him to be swept in confusion as the rest of the guys similarly halt their vocal amusement. “Who the fuck..?”

“Y/N—are you here? You’re up next to audition.” Garrison calls out, the boys quickly whipping their heads when they see you haul your form up to begin your ascent to the stage.

“What the fuck are you doing?! N/N’s not some lame pussy bitch!”

A tired sigh resounds from the older teacher’s mouth because it was way too early to be dealing with this shit. “Eric, Y/N has been a girl for the past four years that she’s been living in South Park. Nothing has changed except for your attention to details.”

“Wh—no he isn’t!” He sputters.

The guys stare at you in varying levels of disbelief and confusion, watching as you tuck visibly soft strands of hair behind your ear while Mr. Garrison passes you a script. Not only are you wearing a damn skirt (which the boys greedily eye as they showcase your long and smooth legs), but your jacket is unzipped for the first time that they’ve met you (in your haste to get ready, your scrambled brain forgot to properly zip it all the way up).

Due to this, they could see the way that the fabric of your top hugs your developing curves in all of the right places—cinching the delicate slopes of your waist and allowing them to see the growing but still notable bust that your outerwear has never revealed. It is then that their admittedly slow brains catches them up on the long lashes that gently kisses the red skin of your still cold cheeks everytime that you blink and how under the fluorescents of the stage lights, the pretty pink of your plump lips are further accentuated to slicked perfection.

“... Douchebag..?” Butters hesitatingly calls out, his voice meek in the sudden revelation of information on their long-time friend.

Busy reading the ink running along the script within your hands, the boys become shocked to muteness when your head lifts up in attention to the sound of your nickname. Your head tilts to the side in question when no one speaks, your disinterested eyes patiently waiting for the verbal reason that they called you.

“No fucking way.” They all seem to chorus because…

… When in the hell did the notoriously mute member of their group become so hot?

・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

“I call dibs!” Clyde yells out as soon as the boys step just one foot onto the cold linoleum that covers the hallway’s floors when the last class before the lunch period is dismissed.

“Wh—you can’t fucking do that!” Kenny indignantly cries out, the blonde angrily pushing his parka’s hood back so that he can properly argue.

“Yeah, I can! Wanna know why?” The brunette smugly continues, his arms crossed in self satisfaction for speaking up first as all the guys glare at him.

“Well, I’m super handsome and insanely funny! I play sports so my hot bod is just as amazing as my smile and I’m clearly so generous and kind and nice since I’m giving you assholes multiple reasons instead of one!” He childishly finishes off, a cheeky grin stretching wide on his face even as Kenny grabs him by the collars of his letterman jacket to roughly slam him against the metal surface of the nearest locker.

“What?!” The blonde screams into his face in frustration.

“That’s fucking lame, dude. If you think N/N is going to settle for some shallow, narcissistic asshole then there’s no point of claiming her first.” Stan angrily spits out, the skin in between his eyebrows furrowed and his fingers fidgeting with the spark wheel of his lighter as he lazily leans beside where Clyde and Kenny are trying to throttle each other.

“Says the self proclaimed rizzler who gets an upset twummy wummy when a cute girl so much as looks in your direction, barf breath.” Kenny mocks in a baby voice, the blonde halting in his attempted murder as his brunette victim begins to obnoxiously laugh at his quip.

“Oh gee fellas… Well if it’s first come first serve, then I guess I’ll be getting this one. See ya!” Butters quickly tries to walk away from the group before Craig grabs him by the neckline of his sweater, effectively choking the blonde until he stops.

“And how the hell does that make any sense?” The taller ravenette asks, an eyebrow condescendingly quirked up and his fist unwillingly to let go lest the blonde tries to pull a fast one again.

“Wuh—well because! I’m the first person that met her, don’tcha fellers remember? I was the one to bring her to Kupa Keep when she first moved in so I’m her oldest and dearest buddy!” Everyone stops walking as they display unamused looks on their faces at the explanation, causing the captured teen to nervously rub his knuckles together at their joined silence.

Kyle rolls his eyes and crosses his arms, “Yeah—by like, 5 minutes! And I don’t think you should be proud of that encounter because you were getting your ass handed to you when she met you.”

“And what’s wrong with that? N/N is strong and fearless and kind—why, she’s simply a bajillion times more noble for rescuing me when she didn’t even know me! That’s more than you fellas with your constant teasing, and you’ve all known me since we were babies!” The blonde pouts as he soothingly rubs the front of his now tender neck when Craig finally lets go.

Cartman deeply sighs, bringing a hand up to smooth the crease in between his eyebrows. “Just shut the fuck up, Butters. Y/N’s not here for you to suck her apparently non-existent dick, you fucking kiss ass.”

“You guys are acting like a bunch of stupid virgins.” Craig is expressionless as they reach the back of the school where the loading bay is, the chullo-wearing teen leaning against the wall as he leisurely watches Kenny plop down on the asphalt and pull a bong out of his backpack.

“Says you! Why do you even care?! I thought you liked it up the ass, you goddamn cocksucker!” Cartman is quick to yell, shoving both his hands in his jacket’s pockets to generate more warmth against the freezing Colorado air.

“Nyah! We like girls, t-too!” Tweek says, glancing at his ex-boyfriend as the ravenette flashes a vulgar middle finger that he annoyingly sticks into the larger teen's irritated face.

“Now that’s just fucking greedy.” The brunette scoffs, roughly pushing Craig’s arm away as the ravenette savagely snickers.

“That’s rich coming from the selfish fatass who can eat three times his weight in one sitting. Wouldn’t want N/N to suffocate on a date with you when you can’t see her over your huge fucking double chin and accidentally sit on her.” Kyle snarks as he rolls his eyes while Stan wheezes and mimics having a makeshift double chin by angling his head as low as it can against his collarbones to make the skin bulge.

Cartman loudly retorts as he roughly pushes away the ravenette’s laughing face, “It’s funny you say that when you have a fat bitch mom yourself, Kahl! Tell me: did she keep pushing even when you were already out of her gaping pussy because she couldn’t see you over her saggy fucking tits?!”

“All of you are greedy assholes! You guys can’t be good bros just this once and let me have this one?” Clyde pouts, the brunette sliding his back down against the wall until he’s seated on top of the gritty surface of his skateboard.

“No.” Everyone simultaneously deadpans.

“Blah blah blah—okay, now who wants to say grace before I light this baby up?” Kenny smirks up at the guys as he packs a bowl, Stan snorting a laugh as he pushes the blonde on the arm when he hands him his lighter.

“You know, it doesn’t really matter who calls dibs when it’s Y/N who gets to decide who she wants to be with. You can’t force her into anything just because we’ve found out that she’s been a girl this whole entire time. She’s not an object for us to claim.” Kyle resolutely states when it doesn’t seem like a decision will be (peacefully) made, causing the redhead to resort to logic and sense.

“He’s got a point.” Tolkien mutters, the only one not fighting over you as he texts his long-time girlfriend Nichole Daniels.

“Oh, shut the hell up with your unicorns and rainbows pussy talk, you stupid fucking Jew! You’re only saying that sappy shit because you know that she won’t pick you even if you did get dibs!” Cartman retorts before dramatically pinching his nose when Kenny rips the bong and obnoxiously exhales the smoke into the brunette’s face.

“Aw, sick! Your low quality shit stinks!”

“Mmm, I think that’s just your upper lip that you’re smelling, fat boy. You do know that if you’re not properly dusting the crumbs off of your greasy mouth after every meal, the food will eventually go bad and rot.” The blonde lazily grins as he hands Craig the bong.

“Look, all I’m saying is that it’d be best to just give her to me. Isn’t it less embarrassing for you guys if Y/N chooses me because I have dibs as opposed to her rejecting all of you, only to still like me because you’re all just ugly and boring?” Clyde pouts up at the guys, his body swaying from side to side as he rolls his skateboard in one place.

“Sorry Donovan—but I’m not letting a fine piece of ass like Y/N go without a fight, even if I have to fight a bro for her.” Kenny says as he leisurely watches Stan cough after taking a fat rip from the smoking device.

“Didn’t think you were the type to work for it, McWhoredick. With all the easy people you usually go for on the daily, I don’t think it’d be cool for you to just hit it and quit it like you usually do.” Craig straightens up from his previously laid back slouch against the wall, his clenched jaw slightly lifting up as he looks down at Kenny from his heightened stance.

The blonde takes that as a challenge as he stands up from the floor, his hands quick to shoot out and roughly shove at the ravenette. “You’re a fucking bastard, you know that? Fuck you. I wouldn’t do that shit to Y/N.”

A hand grabs the material of Kenny’s parka at his elbow to stop the altercation from escalating even further, Tweek’s other hand tightly clutching onto the buttons of his top in anxiety. “I-I don’t know, dude… She’s our best friend, you know? That’d be really fucked up.”

Kenny rips his arm away from the other blonde and eyes every single person in the group with no trace of his usual carefree stance. “Seriously? Well I think it’s fucked up that you guys suddenly have feelings for her just because it’s been revealed that she’s actually a girl.”

And when no one says anything, the blonde scoffs. “I’ve always flirted with her since we were kids. Sure, I might have covered it up by passing it off as a lighthearted joke so that she couldn’t outright reject me, but it doesn’t make whatever I said to her less true.”

Kenny continues, “And I may be a ‘whore’ but I’m not a messy bitch who’d carelessly do shit like that with someone in our own damn friend group, especially to someone who means so much to me like Y/N. But let it be known: I was always transparent with how I felt and how cute I thought she was even when I thought she was a boy.”

And he was right—your earliest memories of being new in South Park were, naturally, of meeting new people. And when you talked to Karen McCormick for the first time during a day of playing your group’s fantasy game, she had told you right off the bat:

“Oh, hey! You’re the new kid! My sister, the princess, texted me about you. She thinks you’re cute.”

“That’s… That isn’t true.” Stan hesitantly speaks up once the silence seemed to stretch on.

The area of skin between his eyebrows are furrowed as he looks away from the group to avoid looking at anyone's reaction to his words. He shoves his hands into the pockets of his jacket and his teeth lightly nips away at his bottom lip in notable distress.

Kyle is visibly surprised at this revelation, “…Stan?”

The ravenette still doesn’t look over at his best friend or at anyone in the group, deeming the sight of the school’s janitor emptying out the trash a more interesting sight as he continues, “I uh—there was a time when I felt guilty. I thought I only liked girls but then I started seeing Y/N differently. It freaked me out because I was always into Wendy, y’know?”

Stan nervously mumbles, “I don’t know when it happened or how, but it was like I suddenly started noticing everything she did. My eyes kept automatically looking for her: to see her reaction when someone said or did something—if I could catch a glimpse of her rare smile or hear her quiet laughter. Even if there was nothing to see, I just liked to know that she was there and that she was okay.”

“No, I… I get it. Me too, actually.” Now it’s Stan’s turn to look shocked when he finally looks over at Kyle, the redhead sporting a madly growing blush as his hand shyly rubs the back of his neck at his confession.

“What?! Yeah, right! Quit dickriding by copying your little boyfriend just to make him jealous!” Cartman yells out in disbelief.

“Shut the fuck up! It was…,” Kyle takes a moment to carefully think of the right term to eloquently express his feelings. “Confusing, right?”

He feels somewhat relieved and comforted when Stan silently nods in agreement, the gesture reassuring him and validating his experience as he feels more encouraged to speak up. “I didn’t know if the lines between platonic and romantic feelings were beginning to blur. I couldn’t tell if I was just mixing them up together or something but after some time, I figured that it didn’t matter because it was Y/N. And so, I was just satisfied as long as I had her by my side, even if it was as a friend.”

It’s quiet for a moment as everyone thinks to themselves, the air somber with only the sounds of the janitor rolling away the trash can being heard as he walks back into the warmth of the school building. The double door loudly closes behind him, blocking out the noise of students inside talking as silence once again pervades the area.

“Well, all this talk about feelings and shit is amazing and not in the least bit boring but I’ve never been confused with how I felt since I already knew I swung both ways. I’m only doing something about it now because you fuckers are going to go for her and like hell am I just going to let that happen without trying.” Craig interrupts, his eyes lingering on Tweek to let him know that he wasn’t afraid to make his ex his rival in this endeavor either.

“Yeah, cause we all know she’s only going to settle for one of you poor bastards if her first choice isn’t pursuing her.” Clyde boasts, his chest proudly puffed out as he points one of his thumbs at his smiling visage to indicate that he was the aforementioned 'first choice'.

Craig snickers at his unbridled confidence as he shoves the brunette and leans over to snatch the glass bong out of Stan’s hands to take another hit. As he lights the bowl, Kenny pushes the taller teen’s face away to inhale the smoke instead.

Cartman scoffs as he snarks the group, “You guys are a bunch of fucking simps. Did your feelings make all of you lame-o pussies? Or did all of your periods somehow sync up today?”

“Some friends we are—we never even noticed such a big thing about someone we claim to fucking like.” Stan bitterly laughs, forcing the guys to remember the small comments they ignorantly made to you when you were still kids:

Cartman: You know, you have kind of pretty hair for a boy. You better not be a hippie or something.

Jimmy: I thought feminine-looking guys went out of style in the 80’s, but the new kids pulling it off.

Clyde: You kind of have big raisins for a boy, New Kid.

Scott: I’ve never seen a boy with such soft skin, what’s your secret?

Butters: Hey, Butthole. Anyone tell you for a boy you’re kinda pretty?

Kenny: You kind of remind me of my sister—I have this weird urge to protect you.

Stan: You know, for a boy you’re kind of feminine New Kid.

Kyle: There’s nothing wrong with a boy being feminine, be true to yourself.

“How are you guys so sure that she even likes boys? You were wrong about her gender and you could be wrong about this too.” Wendy slyly says to the pondering group as she passes by, Bebe giggling at her companion’s words as the boys snap out of their reminiscing.

Before they walk away too far, the female blonde decides to further antagonize the guys as she sticks out a tongue at them. “Didn’t ya know? Wendy knew that Y/N was a girl since the day that she moved in and you stupid boys didn’t!”

Cartman’s mouth drops open as everyone watches the two walk away in disbelief, “That fucking bitch.”

・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

“Sorry for keeping you from lunch, Douchebag! Ah, my bad. Can I still call you that or..?” Scott Malkinson says as he blushes in embarrassment (and for seeing the entirety of your newly revealed face up close for the first time), his hand going up to rub at the brown tufts of hair at the back of his head.

“I mean, no problem if you’re not comfortable with it or have always disliked it! You probably wouldn’t want to go by Buttlord and stuff anymore too…” He nervously mumbles to himself.

You just offer a small nod as your eyes soften around the edges, your hands busy with stapling the packet of papers holding the directions for your two-person research essay for your science class before handing it to him. There didn’t seem to be a point in pulling up your hood anymore (reminiscent of the way Kenny often did) when the boys finally figured out you were a girl.

Zipping open his backpack, you patiently watch as Scott tucks away the report’s instructions for safekeeping in a folder before he offers you a bashful smile. He softly knocks a fist into your arm, “Hey. I really am sorry for misgendering you this whole time. Girl or boy, you’ll always be my trusty sidekick. Right, superpal?”

“Woah there, Malkinson! You’re not tryna pull a fast one on our girl when we aren’t looking, are ya?” Your attention shifts at the sound of Clyde’s voice, an arm being thrown over your shoulders as he protectively pushes you against his body. “You sly dog, you!”

From your peripherals, you see the other guys walking to catch up to where you are as Stan locks an arm around your science partner's neck to put him into a headlock and roughly tousle his hair. You disinterestedly look away when Kenny comes up to you with a wide smile, the blonde reaching an arm out to dap you up in greeting as per usual.

However, instead of stepping back after your half hug, he pulls on your interlocked hands to take you out of Clyde’s clutches and keeps you against his chest. Kenny’s larger hands slowly settles themselves against the curves of your waist as he presses his smile against the column of your neck.

“Missed me, beautiful?” He says, his lips evoking a cacophony of goosebumps as they ever so slightly skim against the soft expanse of your skin after every word.

“Knock it off, bastard. She doesn’t need your rank breath and your dirty hands on her.” Craig angrily mutters out as he pulls you away, only for a pair of arms to sneak around your waist from behind before someone’s chin plants itself onto one of your shoulders.

Kenny scoffs, obnoxiously trying to put said hands onto the taller ravenette’s face. “Your poor people stereotypes don’t do anything to hurt me, Craigory baby!”

Your face is as expressionless as always as you turn to identify your newest captor, a pout on Butters’ face. “That’s not fair Ken, and you know it!”

“Hey, you assholes said it yourselves: I’m always like this. So I’m not quite sure what you’re accusing me of, Butters. Unless you’re projecting your own ulterior motives onto lil’ old me?” Kenny has a lazy smile on his attractive face as he crosses his arms behind his head.

You don’t get to lean your body into Butters’ hold for too long before you feel someone’s hand sneak into the crook of your arm, trying to pull you out of your surrounding warmth. When you see that it’s Tweek fidgeting by your side, you place a reassuring hand on his own as you assume that his anxieties are getting out of control and needed comfort.

“Ngh! Y-you all need to leave her alone!” He yells, swiftly turning over his hand so that he can interlock your fingers together.

“Don’t be nice to him, Douchebag! He’s just faking it so that you’ll feel bad! The whole ‘liking it up the ass’ thing? It was all a FUCKING ACT!” Cartman indignantly shouts as he tries to separate your hands from each other, the blonde barista trying his hardest to not let go.

“Fuck you, ack! It just d-didn’t work out between us!” Tweek defends himself as he tries to bite the brunette’s unrelenting hands off.

“I can see why! Neither one of you have pussies. As I said already: you’re a bunch of fake homos who did it for money and attention!” Cartman yells before he loudly yelps from the blonde’s teeth finally breaking through his skin.

“Sick, dude. You might want to get tested for HIV… Or rabies.” Kyle grimaces as he watches Tweek hurriedly spit into the nearest trash can.

“And don’t be an ignorant piece of shit, fatass. You can still be a girl and not have a vagina.” The redhead continues while crossing his arms.

“Meh meh meh.” Cartman mocks in a high pitched voice to which Kyle just stares back unamused, “Shut the fuck up, god! You’re talking to someone who was fucking transginger before! Of course I fucking know that! And have some goddamn tact next time, asshole—I was going through a lot of shit so it was a dark time for me back then!”

"Wh—You brought up you being transgender yourself, dumbass!"

Tolkien tiredly sighs at everything going on before handing Tweek his hydro flask to gargle its contents, a frenzied mantra of oh god’s being repeated between mouthfuls of water. He soothingly pats the blonde on the back as the barista bends over, hysterically heaving in panic while Kenny watches and cackles in amusement.

“Yeah, Y/N. You have an unnatural allegiance to losers.” Stan side eyes the two as he finally lets go of Scott, the brunette yelling out hasty goodbyes in order to escape the apparent arguing and to fix his messed up hair.

“Which is exactly why she keeps you around, Stanley.” Craig is quick to snark while he roughly pulls Cartman away from trying to get even with Tweek.

“Not true!” He yells.

Craig stares blankly at the protesting ravenette, “Uh-huh… Staniel, tell me: what medications are you on again?”

“For my depression? Uhh, Lexapro. I think. Why?”

“I think they need to switch you to the stronger shit or rediagnose you because right now, you’re being fucking delusional. We smoked the same shit just now so I know it’s not whatever strain Kenny has that’s fucking you up.” Craig dismisses, using his height to his advantage as he condescendingly pats Stan hard on the back of his neck and causes him to stumble.

“Oh fuck you—“

Kenny impatiently interrupts, the blonde pulling you away. “As much as I love me some fucking, let’s just go to lunch already! You guys can bitch all you want in the cafeteria—I’m hungry!”

“You’re always hungry though, poor ass.” Cartman mumbles as everyone starts to move.

“Fuck you, I’m stoned.”

・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

The lunch room is as noisy as ever from where you stand, your disinterested eyes looking around while your arms get recklessly tugged back and forth. You don’t pay any mind to the curious stares of any passerby and those sitting near your standing position as you’ve already grown used to the unwarranted attention your friends always seem to attract from their antics.

“N/N is sitting with me!” Clyde yells out to which the brunette emphasizes with a pull on the arm of yours that he's tightly hugging to his chest.

“She sat next to you yesterday when we went out and got pizza for lunch, you greedy asshole!” Kenny argues back as he resolutely plants his feet against the cafeteria floor, not budging from where your hands are intertwined.

“Not fair—I haven’t sat next to my buddy all week when we've eaten.” Butters pouts from where he stands in front of you as his hands grab hold of your jacket and his fingers mindlessly fiddles with the zipper of it.

With one last tug, Kenny guides you over to the group's designated table before the other two can react and offers a solution. “Here: my princess can just sit on my lap so that the both of you crybabies can still sit next to her.”

The blonde demonstrates by settling you over his thighs before he tightly locks his arms around your waist, sending a cheeky smile over your shoulder at the flabbergasted blonde and brunette still standing up. “There! Problem solved. Fuck, I’m a genius.”

Kyle rolls his eyes as he takes your tray of food in his unoccupied hand and places it on the table between his own and Stan’s, causing Kenny to pout when you stand up to sit where your lunch is. Once sat, you watch as the ushanka-wearing teen opens up the plastic holding your utensils before he hands you your spork.

“Y/N.” You blankly turn your head away from your food to face Clyde.

The brunette leans over the table to wipe a smidge of sauce that was left on your face with his thumb, his finger lingering at the edge of your lips. “You got something on your pretty face.”

Your eyes dart towards his finger when he pulls away to show you the hint of food he wiped off before you lean forward to lick it off of his finger for him. Clyde’s grin stretches impossibly wide across his face at your welcomed action, both of his elbows planting themselves on top of the table that he was still laying his stomach over as he cups his cheeks with his hands and brings his legs up to delightedly kick them back and forth like a lovesick schoolgirl.

“Fucking knock it off, Clyde!” The brunette yelps out of his daze when Craig grabs one of his swinging feet to roughly yank him off of the table.

“Dude.” Stan forlornly stares at his knocked over can of soda, the carbonated liquid thankfully spilling onto the floor and not on anyone’s clothes.

“You’re a fucking try-hard, you know that?!” Cartman yells as he fumbles to catch his opened pack of snacky cakes before they fall onto the dirty cafeteria floor from the other brunette’s actions.

Clyde is unable to verbally defend himself against the larger teen as he tries to hold his hand as close to his chest as possible while fending off Kenny with the other. While he gently cradles his appendage to his body, the blonde tries to get the prized finger to himself for a chance at an indirect kiss.

“Talk about desperate. You beg for sex like you beg for food, McCormick.” Craig mumbles as everyone watches the fighting pair in a mixture of disgust and disappointment.

“Wuh-what’s going on, fellas?” Jimmy asks as he takes a seat besides a stressed out Tolkien, the teen irritatedly rubbing his temples with his eyes closed to soothe the quickly growing headache he was developing.

“Jimmy! Finally, someone sane. I’m going crazy—they keep fighting over Y/N.”

“Competition? F-f-for what? They say girls love someone funny and I’ve already made Y/N laugh the most in the past!” The brunette proudly boasts before Tolkien bemoans the loss of who he thought was his only ally.

It's only the first day of school, the wealthy teen thinks to himself in dread as he begins to wonder if he should start sitting with Timmy instead.

・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

Taking a sip of your chilled juice makes you slightly shiver, causing Stan to notice from his close proximity to you. Dusting off his hands together to take away any remnants of crumbs leftover from his brownie, the ravenette reaches over to zip your jacket up after he deems his hands clean enough to not leave a stain.

From the next seat over, Craig notices the interaction and what caused it so he takes it upon himself to place his beloved chullo on the top of your head. He reaches across from the front of Stan’s chest and in result, roughly pushes him away (he almost falls ass first out of the bench he's sitting on) as he takes care to ensure that both of your ears are properly covered.

The taller teen simply smirks when the ravenette glares at him for one-upping him—Craig’s hat providing additional warmth and even displaying a mark of possession that simply zipping up your outerwear couldn’t provide for other students to see. Their silent but heated stare-off gets interrupted when someone uses the earflaps from Craig’s chullo to forcibly turn your head to another direction.

“Douchebag, come over to mine after school. My mom got me that new video game we were talking about last week and you’d be a stupid loser to not be one of the first people in town to play it.” Cartman demands after he lets go of the soft material to resume devouring his lunch.

“No can do, fatfuck. Y/N already promised to go to my house so that we can do homework together.” Kyle interrupts with a self-satisfied grin on his face that only serves to make the brunette loudly slam his hands on the surface of the table in anger.

“Ooo, group study session at Kyle’s house after school?” Butters perks up at his own suggestion, an innocent grin adorning his face as he looks at everyone at the table for confirmation.

“Fuck you, I didn’t invite any of you bastards over except for her.”

“Ditch them, babe—Karen misses you! Why don’t you come over to my house instead so you can visit her?” Kenny jumps at the opportunity to speak up first after Kyle’s dismissal over Butters' self-invitation.

The boys see you visibly perk up as you straighten your back at the mention of the blonde’s younger sister, making Craig furrow his eyebrows together. “Fuck off. If there’s anyone that Y/N wants to see the most, it’s Stripe.”

Stan immediately scoffs as he pushes around his vegetables with his spork, the ravenette mumbling under his breath as his chin rests on his open palm. “I mean, at least he’s not using his own sibling as a cheap way to get her to visit. Not like I can do the same when I only have a bitch older sister at home.”

“Oh! How about a pet play date then! I can bring Rex!” Clyde excitedly contributes to Craig’s words, only for the ravenette to glare at him when they make eye contact.

"Wait, then I can bring Sparky—"

Kyle interrupts Stan before the conversation can escalate even further, “No! I already told my ma that Y/N is coming over so she’s making extra dinner.”

“Then there’s enough food for all of us to come over tonight.” Cartman says around a mouthful of chicken with an air of finality.

“That’d add another 30 servings on just you alone. So no, fatass, there isn’t enough food for you in my house or even in the whole entire goddamn grocery store that can satisfy the endless void that’s your fucking stomach.” Kyle argues back as his face contorts in disgust at the brunette’s lack of decorum at the lunch table, his hands quickly shooting out to shield both his and your lunch from any spit or stray bits of food.

“Aye!”

You patiently wait for him to take his hand away from where it’s hovering protectively over your tray but as you do, you get distracted from their bickering when Butters holds out a spoonful of his fruit cup. “Here, little buddy! I know how much you like this combination.”

Your eyes soften around the edges in thanks as you lean forward to eat it directly out of his spork, the blonde��s hand kindly waiting for you to chew before he pulls the utensil away and continues to eat his snack.

“Ack!” Tweek hurriedly fumbles to pour out a cup of still-warm coffee from his metal tumbler, his eyebrows furrowing in intense concentration as he tries to reign in his shaking hands to bring the portable cup up to your face for a sip without spilling.

Clyde watches in disbelief as you bring your body as close as you can from your seat at the table to drink the blonde’s offering, causing him to hurry with sticking a cheesy poof halfway into his mouth. “Here, N/N! Have some of this!”

Kyle’s eyes widen when he sees you starting to lean your face forward in the brunette’s direction, his hands shooting out to stop you from moving any further to give the brunette an opportunity for a kiss. “Y/N! No, goddammit!”

You blankly stare at the teen for interrupting before something moves in your peripherals, your eyes darting to the side to see Craig patiently holding out a chip towards you. As you turn your body towards his, he pulls it away from your face at the very last second.

“Sit next to me in class and I’ll give you a piece.” He smirks when you nod before taking a bite of the proffered snack out of his hand.

Kenny overhears and bitterly tsk’s to himself before placing a hand across the table with his palm facing up, his fingers wiggling as he also attempts to gain your favor through food. Your head cocks to the side at the action before you obediently place your hand on top of his, the blonde interlocking your fingers together as he brightly smiles at his success.

“Good girl.” He gently coos at you as he feeds you a piece of his cookie, his cerulean orbs watching you in endearment when you chew the dessert before he gives your linked appendages a soft squeeze.

Once eaten, the blonde uses his now unoccupied hand to pet the top of your head to which Stan sneers at. “Quit it, dude. She’s not one of your pet rats for you to coddle.”

“And what about me?! You fuckers never share any food whenever I ask!” Cartman slams both of his hands down onto the surface of the table (again), causing all of its seated occupants to roll their eyes as they settle their rattling cans of soda and water bottles from tipping over.

“You’re spouting bullshit—I’ve offered you food before.” Craig disinterestedly says as he takes the rest of Kenny’s cookie to prevent him from feeding you again and shoves it all in his mouth in one go.

“Only when you’ve dropped it on purpose and told me to eat it from the fucking floor if I wanted it so badly, you bastard!”

The ravenette merely shrugs, not seeing a fault in his actions as he pushes away the raging blonde trying to punch him. “Same thing. Bitches can’t be choosers or however that saying goes.”

At his words, the edges of your lips unconsciously quirk up into a small smile. It’s like Hell freezes over as everyone stops whatever they’re doing to get a glimpse of a sight so rare to see from your usually blank face.

“Quick! Take a picture! Take a fucking picture!” Clyde yelps at Kenny's demand as his hands fumble in their haste to rip his cellphone out of his jacket’s pocket.

You wonder to yourself why you’ve maintained the façade of being a boy when the dangers of the government trying to find you stopped being a threat so long ago. Maybe, you’ve unconsciously been trying to continue the lie because the person everyone thought you were when you were the "male Y/N" was the one that your friends already found themselves loving and enjoyed being around.

And who would take such a risky chance at changing such a beautiful thing like the precious friendship that this dysfunctional group of boys brought you?

But with the way that everyone is acting after the initial nerve-racking reveal of your true identity from this morning, you find it silly that you ever thought for a second that you might have disappointed your friends with who you really were. Because right now, as you see everyone around the table watching you with eyes that look at you as if you held the whole entire universe in just the palm of your small hands, you let yourself know that there was nothing to ever worry about.

At this thought, your smile slowly widens until a full set of pearly white teeth makes their appearance and a beautiful hue of pink paints the apples of your cheeks. This seemingly knocks any incoming words from leaving the boy's mouths as they watch in stunned silence.

You giggle over the din of chattering students in the cafeteria, causing the guys to lean even closer than before to hear the melodic sound of your rare laughter. “It’s beggars can’t be choosers, dumbfuck.”

a/n: ((i truly tried writing jimmy as a love interest because duh, it's not team craig without him!! but for the life of me, i cannot write him in fics & i really don't know why **sobs**))

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i-love-ptv · 3 months

Text

He Loves My Heart-Shaped Sunglasses

Felix Catton x Fem! Reader

You and Felix spend Valentine’s Day together. <3

Smut (lowk filthy) + Fluff

Wc: 2,550

An: Wanted to post this before v day, but i got sidetracked, thankfully pushed it out before the day ended :3

February 14th.

The day of love.

The day to show your special someone how much you care for them.

The day that’ll bring out the joy and excitement out of most, but will also bring out the bitter feelings of some.

Felix has never really favored Valentine’s day. He may be a soft romantic now; a year into your relationship, but before, he was used to hookups that led to his lonesome morning after. Hence why it was so hard for him to ask you out last year on this very day.

He spent hours in different shops; trying to find the perfect gifts for you. Obviously, this process would’ve gone by quicker if Venetia didn’t get distracted by the hundreds of soft stuffed animals every few minutes, and if Farleigh had even went.

“Please Farleigh! Surely you can help me! You know more about these things than I do!”

“No can do lover boy, besides, you have Vee going with you.” Farleigh had said with an amused smirk.

After a little more of groveling and begging on Felix’s end, Farleigh still didn’t budge. The fact that Felix had said that he wanted to “woo” you, hadn’t helped his case either.

The beaming lights of the shops reflecting off of the bright pinks and reds had Felix’s head starting to ache.

He had settled on getting you a bouquet of red roses, a basket of your favorite snacks, and some other little goodies.

That day when you saw one singular rose on your desk in your english class, the last person you expected to be nervously glancing in your direction was Felix.

After a long, panic-filled conversation with the blubbering boy, you two had finally become official, and Felix swears to this day, that it was the best day of his entire life.

Now, Felix has gotten a bit better at buying gifts for you. He knows you like the back of his tattooed hand. But he can’t help but feel nervous to see you this morning. After all, you only have one, one year anniversary with your love.

Felix observed as the other students of Oxford were handing out gifts to their significant others. Felix couldn’t help but think about how his presents for you were far more superior to everyone else’s.

He had been so distracted, that he hadn’t noticed you walking up.

You tapped on his shoulder and he had nearly leaped out of his skin.

He quickly realizes who is in front of him, and grips you up like you were light as a feather.

“Angel! Oh my goodness you startled me! Happy anniversary sweet girl!” Felix says grinning, like he was looking at the brightest star in the galaxy.

“Happy anniversary my love,” you return through your giggles.

“Here! Here! Open the gifts I bought for you honey!” Felix rushes out as he’s pushing the bags into your hands.

You jokingly chide him for nearly knocking your things out of your hands, but quickly start digging through one of the bags.

He had given you one of his sweaters, a pair of heels you had been eyeing in town, a few other items, and most importantly, a beautiful ring covered in diamonds.

“S’not an engagement ring, not yet anyways, but a promise ring, because I promise to love you always and forever. Tha’s a bit too cheesy, isn’t it? Sorry, I had this whole thing I was going to say but-“

You cut his rambling off with a deep kiss to his rosy lips.

“Thank you Felix, I love it with my whole heart, baby.”You say while pulling away breathlessly.

Felix’s face started to hurt from the constant smiling, but the thought of that flew out the window as he remembered that you had gotten him something.

Felix had practically ripped through the big box you gave him; feeling like he was about to burst at the seems. You smile softly, imagining him with a wagging tail and perked up puppy ears.

You had bought a few articles of clothing, more cologne, a new book that he said he had been interested in reading, and of course, a stunning bracelet, that matched the exact same on dangling on your wrist.

After many more kisses, hugs, and sugary sweet words exchanged between the two of you, you both head to class.

Felix was counting down the minutes until he could see your dazzling face in front of him again. His class felt as if it had been going on for hours, and the fact that he couldn’t focus on his lesson for even a few minutes while thinking about you, wasn’t helping. His mind was drifting to what he had planned for the two of you later tonight.

You, on the other hand, were on the same boat as Felix.

All that consumed your mind was Felix; you’re sweet, dashing Felix.

You’re suddenly snapped out of your thoughts by your professor, who had agitatedly started lecturing you on the importance of focusing on class.

And finally, after multiple grueling hours, and a heated make-out session in a storage closet, classes for today were over.

Felix suggested that you two go into town, and go on a date to the cafe you both loved. At this point, it was your guys’ cafe; your designated spot, where you both can run away from the world and just enjoy one another.

After spending hours, which seemed like minutes, in the cafe, and throughout town, the two of you settle on going back to your dorm.

Normally, the two of you just go to Felix’s dorm, but his was still somewhat airing out from the smoke session you two had the night prior.

Although, the idea of you two walking through town sounded romantic at the time, you hadn’t thought into how long you two would be walking.

“‘Lex?” You call out softly. Felix immediately turns to you.

“Can you carry me? M’feet hurt honey.” You say with a slight pout, to get your point across.

Felix, of course, being the amazing boyfriend he is, quickly picks you up, bridal-style and carries you back.

You ask him multiple times if he was alright carrying you for so long, but after his reassurance and light nip to your nose, your worries are put to rest.

The two of you eventually settle on your bed, and you curl against Felix’s warm body.

“Wait, darling, I forgot a few things at my dorm,” Felix rushes out.

“Mmm, no ‘Lex, stay with me”

“It’ll only be a minute angel, I promise.”

Felix nearly doesn’t have the heart to pull you off of him, but he can’t afford to keep you from your final gift for much longer.

He leaves with a quick kiss to your forehead and nose, and goes to retrieve the items from his dorm.

He comes back and spots you sitting up on the bed with what he thinks is nothing, but his shirt on, and strawberries. You had also opted for a can of whipped cream, instead of melted chocolate, because after last time, you didn’t want to endure the process of the chocolate staining your white sheets, and hardening as you two tried to use it.

“Wha’s this baby?” Felix says with a smirk as he inches towards you.

You feel his warm, hand on your calf as he reaches you.

“What? Did you really think we were going to go without some fun on our anniversary baby?” You say while looking up at him with longing.

“Unwrap your gift, Felix.”

The brunette boy wastes no time in stripping you from his your shirt.

There, he sees, the lacy brown lingerie covering your body; the brown being almost, if not fully, identical to the color of his dark brown irises.

Felix kisses your neck, leaving no area of skin unmarked with purple bruises.

“Mm, wait” He says as he leaves behind a slight strain on saliva on your flesh.

“Oh my god Felix, seriously?” You say with slight annoyance.

“Relax. I have something for you.” Felix chides.

Felix pulls out a box, containing a necklace; with his initials on it.

“D’you like it baby? I think it’ll be perfect, tha’way none of those other boys could even think they could have a chance with you.”

“Why boys, Felix?” You ask slyly, trying to push his buttons a bit.

“I say boys because, my angel..They could never fuck you like I do…Like a man.” He says lowly, showcasing the bass in his silky smooth voice.

You let out a whine at this; loving when he gets possessive over you, “put it on me Felix, claim me.” You purr.

He moves your hair out of his way, and puts the necklace around your neck, subtly grinding his hard, pulsing cock against the little fabric you had covering your cunt.

You let out a sigh, as Felix moans lowly in your love-bitten ear.

He then grabs a strawberry and stuffs it gently between your lips, making you bite down on it.

The juices trickle down your chin as he moves the fruit around inside of your mouth. He licks a stripe up from your throat to right below your lips.

He goes back and leaves a bite on your throat, making you tilt you head back with a sharp moan, giving him more access.

Felix kisses you roughly as he grabs the whipped cream. He squirts a line of the sweet cream onto your navel; watching it slowly glide down to your soaked core.

“God…’Lex don’t tease me,” you whimper meekly.

“But y’taste s’sweet, lovie.” Felix says, letting out a giggle that makes your pussy clench.

“Oh look at you, m’dirty little thing. Clenchin’ around nothin’,” Felix says smugly as he kisses down your warm body.

Abruptly, Felix dips down and licks a stripe up your achy cunt.

“Fuck ‘Lex!”

Felix grins at your shriek, as he presses sloppy kisses to your clit.

“…I thought I told you to stop teasing me baby,” you say, pushing his head down onto your cunt, prompting him to start licking and sucking where you want him to.

Your back arches off the bed as you squeal in ecstasy. You grab Felix’s hair with both hands roughly; he moans at this, which sends shockwaves through your body.

Felix fucks you with his tongue for what feels like hours, sticking his tongue in and out of your pulsing hole.

Felix feels your thighs trembling, making it clear that you’re close to reaching your climax.

Felix removes his mouth with a slick pop and a charming smile, making you cry out.

“Wait! Wait no. ‘Lex, why’d you stop? Baby. Baby please I need it. Put it back please-“

“Shhh, angel. M’gonna give you somethin’ better. Gonna give you this cock. Tha’s what you wanted, right?” Felix says pressing his lips to yours, again, and again.

Felix continues kissing you as he pulls down his pants and boxers, pulling out his stiff dick.

He rubs the tip against your folds, watching his precum drip against your wetness.

“Mmm, y’ready f’me sweetheart?”

“Please, please, please ‘Lex. I’ll be so good! So so good, I promise! Please give it to me! I need it!” You shout eagerly.

“God, you make me feel whole,” Felix says as he slowly pushes his cock into your heat.

“Thank you ‘Lex! Thank you! Oh fuck!”

Felix almost immediately starts thrusting in and out of you roughly, opening your legs wider as he plants his feet.

“Fuck babe! I swear y’made f’me. I thank any ‘n every god tha’ led us to each other, honey.” Felix says with a delicious groan.

“Shit! God that’s it baby. Don’t stop!” You say, reaching down to start toying with your clit.

Felix nips at your fingers; having noticed your dainty fingers rubbing circles. Silently ordering you to quit it.

You wrap your legs around his meaty torso tightly as he flicks at your puffy pussy.

“Oh! O’fuck! Right there! Mhm!” Felix feels as if he’s consuming your moans, picking up his already brutal pace to absolutely abuse your cunt. His main goal being to make you squirm in ways only he can.

“Uh huh? Yeah y’like that angel? Feels- oh f-fuck. Feels good doesn’it?”

Felix lets out more deep groans, with the occasional whine.

“‘Lex. ‘Lex, baby. M’cumming.” You rush out breathlessly.

“M’right there with y’baby, m’right here. Just, fuck, wait a second..Wanna come together, beautiful.” Felix says panting.

The only noises to be heard in the somewhat small dorm are the moans and gasps of two passionate lovers, and the squeaks and banging from the plush bed.

In any other scenario, you’d be pressing your hand around your mouth, stressing to Felix about the importance of staying quiet; not wanting to get more noise complaints. But right now, you could barely even think about where you are; focusing only on the circles being rubbed on your glistening cunt, and the feeling of Felix’s warm, almost candle-lit hot limbs touching yours.

Felix’s pace begins to falter, growing sloppier and sloppier with every thrust, showing signs of Felix nearing his blissful end.

“Yes! Fuck yes! Come f’me angel, please! Give it t’me! C’mon, y’know y’can, here hold m’hand.” Felix says, reaching his clammy hand to your already sweaty one.

“F-fuck! ‘Lex!”

In the span of seconds, the two of you are coming undone together, gripping each other’s hand so tightly.

You feel your climax shake through your entire body, making you jerk against Felix’s hold, as he tries to keep himself together.

Felix collapses softly next to you with a soft “holy shit,” making sure not to startle you in your hazy state.

He brushes the hair from your moist skin and peppers feather-like kisses onto your face, collarbone, and scalp; helping you calm down from your high.

You look at him bleary eyed, taking account of his wobbly smiles as he tries to catch his breath.

‘Does he ever stop smiling?’ You think to yourself.

“Hi honey,” Felix whispers.

“Hi baby,” you whisper back with a giggle.

“Y’so gorgeous, y’know that, angel?” He says, after softly pulling out and snuggling closer to you with a blanket.

“So i’ve been told,” you say, blinking sleepily.

“Wait, sweetheart. Y’can’t sleep yet! I gotta clean you up!” Felix says in a hurry, jumping out from underneath the blanket. He quickly walks over to his desk, which has a pack of wipes on it, and he finds a towel on his dresser.

You fight sleep, as Felix softly wipes you, making sure not to put too much pressure on your already sore cunt.

He sits you up a bit, putting on of his cozy sweatshirts on your frame and gently lays you back down.

He quickly puts a pair of boxers on once he hears your soft whines, begging for him to cuddle you.

He lays down and drapes your body on top of his.

The last thing you feel before drifting off is a sweet kiss being pressed onto your forehead.

“Happy Valentine’s Day lovie..and most importantly, happy one year anniversary.”

feedback always appreciated bb <3

#lee’s ted talks #felix catton #jacob elordi #saltburn #felix catton x reader #jacob elordi x reader #felix catton x you #felix catton imagine #oliver quick x reader #oliver quick #farleigh start x reader #farleigh start #venetia catton #valentines day #felix catton smut

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gyuvxx · 2 months

Text

From the start ⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚

Anton x fem!reader

Wc:4644

friends to lovers, angst, eventual fluff, mutual pining, Anton is kinda stupid whoops

synopsis: after years of loving her best friend, YN just can’t take another heartbreak from him. Anton soon realizes that he feels more for his friend than he initially thought. ౨ৎ⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ⋆ ˚｡⋆

There was something so heart pounding about falling for your best friend. The moment you feel the butterflies, you know you’re in for trouble. Reading into the smallest actions, wondering what everything means.

But there’s something so heartbreaking when they don’t feel the same.

YN met Anton when she was eight. They were playing at the same playground, and YN had gotten her stuffed cat stolen by some older kids. Naturally, the girl Cried. Maybe ten minutes later, someone tapped on her shoulder. She looked up, big eyes glossy and red with tears, and saw a boy standing above her, holding her plushie. She looked up at him, lip quivering, taking her plushie. He had gotten it back for her. She got to her feet and threw her arms around the boy, sobbing out her thanks as she hugged him tightly.

From that day forward, the two were inseparable, two best friends, their bond went beyond the playground and a plushie. The two balanced each other out, Anton’s quiet nature paired with YN’s energy made the two the perfect pair. They were each other’s missing half.

They grew up together, having playdates and sleepovers, getting to know the other through their years together. They went through their firsts together, played at recess together everyday and walked home together after each day of school. The two were as close as they could be, joined at the hip since that fateful day at the playground.

At some point, YN’s feelings grew as both of them grew up. She realized how happy she was when anton was around, how her cheeks would warm when he’d look her way, how handsome he looked when he wasn’t even trying.

YN realized she liked anton in 7th Grade. Middle school hormones running wild, she still liked him. So when she was in eighth grade, she told him.

“Anton,” she took in a breath. “I like you, a lot,” She stuttered but Continued. “I don’t want to lose what we have, but I can’t pretend I don’t feel anything for you,”

And that same day, YN experienced her first Heartbreak.

“I don;t feel the same, I’m sorry.” He apologized and watched his friend look down. “But I do care about you. We can still be friends, right?”

YN gulped back tears that threatened to spill and agreed, letting Anton walk her home before letting her tears fall. She said a brief goodbye, and practically rushed up the stairs into her room, sobbing until her parents called her down for dinner. Regardless of what Anton wanted, she knew things would never be the same. But for his sake, she’d pretend to be okay.

It had been for years.

Their friendship continued, and though YN tried letting her feelings go, she found she was still head over heels for her best friend. Yet he never felt the same, never looked her way. There were times she thought he may feel the same as she did, but just when her hopes got up, he shut them down.

When he had another girlfriend, or had his heart broken, he went to her. He’d hold her close when he needed comfort, let all his emotions go in her arms. But when he got over the heartbreak, and found a new girlfriend, he’d shut her out. Dry responses, rare hangouts, and walks home filled with silence.

When he would finally hang out with her, he’d tell her how much he loved the girl he was seeing. Or he’d cry about hw heartbroken he was that his relationship ended. She was the one he went to, the one he trusted enough to be vulnerable with.

But YN didn’t know how many more girls she could hear about without crying. How many more times could she listen to Anton profess his love for another girl he’d break up with in a couple months? How many more of his heartbreaks could she listen to him lament.

One day, the two of them were sitting in Anton’s room, YN laying back on his pillows while Anton sat on the foot of his bed, texting someone. They’d been sitting in silence for a good ten minutes. YN was beginning to feel fed up, being invited over to sit in silence.

“Did you invite me over just to text your girlfriend the whole time?” YN asked. She hadn’t been around Anton much since he made it official with his new girlfriend, wanting to respect their relationship. But Anton insisted he come over this weekend, saying he wanted to spend time with her.

Anton blinked and then scooted to lay next to her. He wrapped his arms around her, hands resting on the skin of her waist while his head laid on her chest. YN hated how much comfort she got from this. She knew he shouldn’t be that close.

“Toni, you can’t do this. You have a girlfriend,” she reminded him, ruffling his hair lightly.

Anton hummed for a moment. “We broke up,” he mumbled, arms tight around her waist, breathing in deeply.

There it was. YN went still. SHe moved her hand from his hair, sighing as she laid flat on his bed, going silent in response to what Anton just said.

“What’s wrong?” anton asked, letting go of her and propping himself up to look at her. He saw her expression, unreadable, foreign to anything he’d seen from her before. He usually could read YN like a book, she was his best friend, he could tell what she was thinking. But at that moment, he was lost.

“Nothing,” YN sighed and sat up, pushing her hair out of her face. She didn’t look at him, fiddling with the hem of her shirt instead.

“Doesn’t seem like nothing,” Anton pressed. “Come on, just tell me,”

Yn turned to him, debating her words. Though part other wanted to salvage the relationship she knew would probably end eventually, the stronger part wanted to finally say her mind.

“How many times are you going to come to me about your heartbreaks?” she asked, voice quiet.

Anton looked at her, confused. “What do you mean?” he tilted his head, not knowing where this was suddenly coming from.

“I mean that’s all I’ve been good for,” she sighed. “You get a new girlfriend you ignore me for a few months until you break up and need someone to cry to. You just come around when you need comfort,”

“No, I don’t,” Anton sat up. “It’s not like that, YN,”

“Then what is it like?” she asked. “You only come around when you need me to comfort you, or when you find another girl, and you just have to tell me about how much you like her and how you just get butterflies thinking about her!”

“As my best friend, you should be happy for me! You should listen to my feelings, you should be there when I need you!” Anton scoffed, feeling defensive of his actions. There was no way she could be serious.

“Yeah and as someone who’s been in love with you since seventh grade, I don’t want to hear you talk about how much you love another girl, how you found your new soulmate, blah blah blah. I don’t want to hear you talk about how much your heart hurts when you broke mine!”

There was silence. YN didn’t register her words until anton spoke.

“You’re in love with me?” he asked and YN stood up, needing to leave.

“I’m gonna go home,” SHe muttered stumbling a bit as she grabbed her hoodie, quickly putting it on.

“YN, no, wait, let’s talk, please,” Anton got up, walking towards the door to stop her from leaving.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” YN muttered, voice heavy, tears falling before she could stop them. “Please get out of my way, anton,” she didn’t dare look up at him.

“No, yn please, talk to me-” he felt her push past him, hurrying downstairs to get her shows on. He followed hopelessly. “Please, come on, just talk to me!”

He heard the slam shut, and ran to the window, watching as his best friend stormed away.

He texted her for the whole week after, blowing up her phone with texts asking to please talk, missed calls and voicemails of him saying he missed her and wanted to talk things out. He even emailed her a few times for good measure, but got no response.

A week later she finally answered his texts. They agreed to meet at a park- the park they first met at. Anton was nervous. What would he say to her? What would she say to him? How were they going to recover from this?

She sat on the swingset, hair loose around her shoulders, feet dragging against the mulch. He called her name as he approached, and watched as she looked up at him. She stood up, and he could tell the breath she took in was shaky.

“I’m sorry for getting upset,” she said first. ��I was frustrated.” her voice was soft, almost inaudible.

“I’m sorry for making you feel like you weren’t important to me. It was shitty for me to use you.” Anton admitted. “I want you to know, I really value our friendship, you mean the world to me,” he gave her a gentle smile.

YN felt her heart shatter, his words crumbling the little hope she had left. There was silence between them, anton looked down at her. YN knew what was about to happen.

“Just get it over with,” she looked past him, breathing deeply.

Anton bit his lip. “I’m sorry, I just… don’t feel that for you,” he told her. “But I want us to be friends- i’ll be better I swear, nothing will change between us-”

“No.”

“What?”

“I don’t want to do this anymore,” YN had tears in her eyes. “I tried, anton, I really tried, but I just can’t,”

Anton shook his head softly. “No, YN, please,” He took her hands in his, kneeling down to try and get her to look at him. “Don’t do this, you’re my best friend,”

YN pulled her hands away, shaking her head. “It’s not fair to either of us,” she wiped her tears with her sleeve. “I’m sorry-“

Anton grabbed her arm to stop her from leaving again. He wrapped his arms around her, not wanting to let her go.

“Please YN we can figure it out, don’t-“

“Let go of me Anton,” she said through her tears.

He pulled away slightly, holding her face in his palms, eyes pleading her to stay. She brought up her shaky hands and pulled his away.

“Let me go, Anton,” her tears ran down her cheeks, stepping back away from Anton before turning around, and went away, not looking back as Anton stood there, tears in his eyes, waiting for her to come back.

A month passed and Anton held onto the hope his best friend would come back. In the halls he’d wait near her locker, trail behind her in hopes she’d turn around and see him. But she never did.

She was absent for a week after their last meeting. When she came back, Anton felt like she never saw him. She looked past him when he was nearby while his eyes would linger on her. She’d ignore his many texts and calls. When he’d try and talk to her after class, she’d just brush past him before he could get a word in. It was like she forgot him.

One day, he saw her with seunghan, walking down the halls happily. He watched her laugh at his jokes, and saw the bright smile on her face that he hadn’t seen in what felt like forever. The smile he would do anything to see again. The smile she used to give him everyday, that was now being made at seunghan and not him. He felt something pang inside him.

He felt… jealous? There was no way he was jealous. Maybe a little. Maybe he just missed her. That could justify why he felt this way, why he wanted so desperately to whisk her away and hold her close once more, bring her back to him, be the girl he always knew.

Anton sat with his friends, poking at his food while staring across the room at YN, who was eating with seunghan, laughing like they used to when they were together. His friends noticed his demeanor, how his gaze was fixed across the room at YN, how his brows furrowed more and more as she and seunghan got closer.

“Anton,” Sohee called his name and snapped Anton out of his daze. He looked over at the older boy. “You good?”

“Yeah,” Anton looked down. “Just thinking” his gaze went back up to YN, looking happier than she looked in a while. Anton hated it.

Probably the worst thing about this was how close the two lived. They grew up in the same neighborhood, lived a few blocks away. Anton would always walk YN home, sometimes coming inside for a snack or staying for dinner. Now they always walked an awkward distance apart, silence thick between them.

His friends went home with him, they agreed to play some video games before, and just wanted to hang out with Anton, who had seemed out of it for a long while. Anton had one earbud in, listening to his friends ramble. He noticed YN wasn’t in front of him as usual, and began wondering where she was.

Anton realized how his friends went quiet, and then heard her laugh. The sweet laugh he loved so much. He turned, and saw her walking with seunghan, who carried her bag for her. He’d normally look away, resign to their broken friendship, but this time he couldn’t, not bothering to hide his gaze as she passed.

He felt it again. That feeling in his chest boiling up as she and seunghan walked ahead of him and his group. He felt his jaw tighten, clenching his teeth together and watched as Seunghan walked YN to her door, ruffling her hair lightly before bidding her goodbye.

When they got to his house, Anton slumped onto the couch, resting against the cushions, not knowing what to do with this odd feeling. Even as his friends began playing their games, relaxing and having fun, anton felt his heart pang against his chest, a pain erupting from the part of him that couldn’t let YN go.

“Anton?”

“Yeah?”

“You look pretty out of it. You okay?” Wonbin asked, head hanging off the couch.

There was a beat of silence before anton answered.

“I don’t like that seunghan guy,” anton sighed. He didn’t know why, he had no reasonable reason.

“Why? He’s actually really nice,” sohee told him, confused why anton didn’t like the boy.

“I just get a bad vibe from him,” anton explained, not noticing the looks his friends gave each other. They knew his reasoning was bullshit, so it was time they point it out to him.

“Or Do you just not like that he’s been hanging out with YN a lot?” Sohee asked, and watched as anton’s ears grew red, jaw dropping slightly, trying to laugh off the accusation.

“What? No! Maybe a little but-” he paused, putting his head in his palms as he sighed. “Why did she have to leave me?”

“It wasn’t good for her to stay,” Sohee shrugged. “She was valid in her feelings, you know,”

“Yeah, but i wanted to fix things. We shouldn’t have ended things like that, we should still be friends,” Anton thought of the last time they spoke, how she left before he could beg her to stay.

“I think you’ll just need to let go,” Wonbin suggested gently.

“I don’t want to let go,” Anton shook his head like a petulant child. “SHe’s my best friend, i can’t lose her, I can’t let her go,”

“Anton-”

“And now there’s another guy with her, who’s in the place I used to be. He’s with my best friend, laughing and getting close with MY YN, while i’m here wishing she’d come back!” anton was flustered as he spoke, his friends coming to a realization he hadn’t come to himself.

“Anton, do you like-like YN?” sungchan asked and Anton furrowed his brows.

“No! I’m just… upset because she’s my best friend and now I've been replaced with some guy!” he tried to explain, cheeks getting slightly pink at the thought. “Oh you’re in love with her!” Sohee laughed, and Anton shook his head frantically.

“No I’m not! If I was, we wouldn’t be having this problem. I’m just upset, okay?” He got defensive, trying to brush off Sohee’s words.

“No, Anton, you really like her. And you’re jealous that she moved on and you’re still hung up on her,” Sohee raised his eyebrows, trying to convince Anton of his own feelings.

“Oh my god, no, I'm not in love with her! Of course I’m upset about this, I’ve known her for ten years. It’s nothing more than that, so drop it!” Anton raised his voice more than intended. Sohee only smirked at the younger.

“Okay anton, just let me know when you figure it out,” he sighed.

The rest of their visit, Anton sat in silence, mulling over everything in his mind. When his friends left, he went to his room to stare up at the ceiling. He replayed every word Sohee said. He remembered YN’s words when she ended their friendship. His head began spinning.

He remembered the day they met, her big eyes looking up at him, how he ignored the butterflies when she threw her arms around him, how he savored the scent of her shampoo. That was the first time he felt it, the first time something in his heart panged.

He remembered the day she first confessed, how her cheeks got pink and voice shook a bit. He always tried to ignore how his mind raced with the idea of them being more than friends. Anton never would admit to himself how he wanted to say yes, to be her lame middle school boyfriend.

He remembered her most recent confession, how his heart panged once more. She took him by surprise, made his head swirl with his past childish thoughts how after she left he weighed all possible answers, everything he could say to make her stay.

He thought about his words the last time they spoke, how he was so sure he felt nothing romantic for his best friend, though now his resolve was breaking.

He remembered all the times she’d hold him, how warm her embrace was, and how she’d play with his hair while he breathed her in. he remembered the times they’d stay up too late laughing about stupid things, how she’d do his skincare and make him wear a fluffy hello kitty headband to match hers. He remembered how pretty she looked all the time, how there would eb times he genuinely couldn’t think straight when she was with him.

Then it hit him. Sohee was right, Anton was jealous, because the girl he denied his love for was now gone, and with another man. He now let himself admit what he’d been suppressing, what he was so scared would ruin their friendship. He had been in love with YN since they were little kids, since the moment she hugged him.

He would do anything to get her back.

The next week, anton tried everything to get her back. He would wait by her locker, sat next to her in classes, bought her chocolate milk and left it on her lunch table with a note on it.

Each time, she’d ignore his advances. Seunghan would come to her locker with her, reaching for what she needed before handing it over to her, YN never had to look at him. In class she’d scoot further away from anton and crumple up the notes he’d slide over to her, and ignore when he’d poke her arm. When he left chocolate milk for her, she’d rip off the note, crumple it up and throw it away, and give the drink to another friend.

Anton still refused to give up. He knew he’d have to step it up.

The rain pounded against the window, YN sat on her bed, listening to the storm outside. She was coming to peace with what was going on, though she couldn’t deny her heart still pounded when she thought about her time with Anton. She did her best to ignore the boy who stole her heart, but it got increasingly difficult when he was annoyingly persistent.

She heard a light knock at her door and furrowed her brows, standing up and opening the door to see who it was. There he stood, tall figure looking down at her, hair soaked from rain, and a bouquet of flowers in his hands. She stood in silence, trying to process the sight in front of her.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, looking up at him while trying to keep her

emotions in order.

“I uh, wanted to talk,” He cleared his throat, pushing the bouquet forward a little more.

YN just sighed. “What part of not wanting to talk do you not get?” she asked, propping the door open a bit more, walking back in and grabbing a towel. Anton took this as a silent affirmation to walk in.

He took the towel and dried off his hair, sitting down on the bed while YN sat on her desk, studying him. Her heart pounded as she looked at him, she tried to ignore it, push down how much she wanted to just throw her arms around him. She couldn’t, not after what they went through. She had to be strong.

“Are you here to talk, or just sit on my bed in silence?” She asked, frowning a little. “If you’re not gonna say anything to me then just go home-” “I’m in love with you,” Anton blurted out.

YN went still. She felt her heart pounding even harder, felt the heat rush to her cheeks as she attempted to process his words.

“What?”

“I’m in love with you, YN, and it’s driving me insane,” he sighed, looking up at her hopefully.

She shook her head. “No,”

“No?”

“You don’t get to do that, you don’t get to pull the ‘i love you’ card. Not now, not after everything.” She looked down at the ground.

Anton stood up from her bed. “I know,” he whispered, taking a step toward her. “I’m sorry, I should’ve told you sooner, i shouldn’t have pushed you away,”

YN didn’t respond and Anton took another step towards her. He pushed a strand of her hair away from her face, gently bringing his hand to tilt her head up to face him. He looked at her for a moment, fingers playing with her hair idly before speaking again.

“I think I was scared,” He sighed. “I got caught up in the What-ifs of what would happen if something went wrong. I didn’t want to lose what we had, and I ended up losing you anyway. I realized I loved you too late. I never meant to hurt you, I swear,”

YN folded her arms, moving her head out of his grip. “You can’t justify using me for your comfort, anton,” She reminded him, and Anton nodded.

“I know, I was selfish, and wrong, and I’m so sorry,” He apologized once more, moving her cheek lightly to get her to look at him again. She slipped away from him, pushing his chest lightly as she went to sit on her bed. Anton followed, crouching down, eyes begging for her to look at him. “Let me make this right,” he gently held her hand. “I’ll do anything to get you back, please, don’t shut me out,”

YN Scoffed a bit, trying to look away, but he brought her back to look at him once more, eyes pleading as they looked into hers. She sighed, shaking her head a bit.

“How could I trust you?” Her voice shook. “How do I know I won’t regret letting you back in? How will I know you won’t break my heart again?” anton saw tears well in her eyes, and he moved to sit on the bed. He took her hands gently, moving so they’d face each other as they sat.

“Because now I know I was wrong, and I won’t let that happen to us again,” He brushed his thumb against her knuckles gently. “I swear,”

He didn’t get a response, and when YN looked down at her lap, he decided he’d let her. And he would just speak his mind.

“I’m so in love with you,” he laughed a bit, and YN glanced up. “And it’s driving me crazy. I fucked up, and I can’t stop regretting what happened, I can’t stop wanting to make things right. I can’t stop wanting you,”

YN looked at him, resolve slowly breaking as his eyes stared into hers. Every emotion she tried to keep down was rising through her system. She felt warm, unable to ignore the effect anton had on her, his words being all she ever wanted to hear him say. There was silence between them, something unspoken.

She felt him brush her hair behind her ear and brought in a quiet breath, watching as he gazed softly at her. He began to lean towards her, slowly, giving her the time to push him away. But she stayed still. So he continued. Their noses brushed against each other, lightly grazing each others skin as YN let out the breath she was holding in. Then she felt his lips press against hers, soft, gentle, as if anything more could break them.

Their kiss was quick, both of them pulling away to take in breaths through their shock. When Anton saw YN’s expression, he wasted no time, pulling her back in closer. YN’s hands rested on his chest as Anton deepen the kiss, shifting more towards her, pulling her in more and resting one hand on her waist, the other in her hair. YN pulled him in more, one arm resting around his neck as she kissed him, letting go of whatever was holding her back.

“Let me take you on a date,” He muttered between kisses, hands massaging her skin. “Let me try again,”

“Okay,” YN agreed with a smile, feeling his lips trail across her skin, kissing her jaw too. “But we should still talk more about-” her thoughts trailed off as they continued kissing.

Anton grinned. “Tomorrow,” he just wanted to enjoy the moment. And to kiss her more. “I tried to be all romantic, you know,” he pressed a kiss to her neck. “My mom even helped me pick out flowers,” he moved up to her lips. “I was prepared to get on my knees and beg,”

YN pulled away, laughing at the thought of the tall boy on his knees begging for forgiveness. She looked at him, his shoulders heaving, trying to catch his breath, hair messy. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him to lay on her bed with her, anton quickly moved his arms around her, resting his cheek on her head.

“You should stay,” YN requested. “I missed you more than I let on,”

“Oh thank god,” Anton grinned. “I was worried you actually hated my guts,”

“I tried my hardest,” she smiled up at him.

The two Spent their time together snuggled up close, anton not willing to let her go further than an arms length away. They fell into a peaceful sleep, together at last, no regrets to keep them awake any longer. ౨ৎ

the next week, they walked around school together, holding hands and smiling, back to a new normal. Anton didn’t have to tell his friends anything, they figured it out. sohee and seunghan watched them from their table, laughing about everything. Unbeknownst to Anton and YN, they had a little bet that they’d be back together. Sohee actually never thought it would happen, but seunghan knew better.

“Ten dollars,” seunghan held out his hand.

“yeah yeah, whatever,” sohee grumbled defeated. Why did he have to be so good at using common sense?

౨ৎ LETS GOOOO ANTON ONESHOT!!! Lmk if u wanna be added to my new taglist!!! You’ll get to know all I do going forward!!

taglist: @oftenjisung , @vhuteryh , @skzhoe4life , @cheederzchez

#gyuvxx⭐️#riize #anton x reader #anton lee #lee anton #anton imagines #anton fluff #riize anton #riize imagines #anton oneshot #oneshot #riize x reader #fluff #angst #anton fic #anton angst #lee chanyoung #riize chanyoung #riize fluff

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hariboz · 5 months

Text

NEW YEARS KISS

“your best friend decides to volunteer when you complain about not having anyone to kiss on new year’s eve!”

pairing: bff!gyuvin x gn!reader

genre: fluff!!, friends to lovers!!

warnings: reader is somewhat of a romantic (?), reader is also said to be a little inexperienced in terms of dating!!, a little (implied?) jealousy from gyuvin, seunghan cameo (1. FREE HIM!! HE DID NOTHING!! 2. he was the first non-jebi guy i thought of <3), they’re cute <3, this is nawt my best work i literally wrote this on new year’s eve while with my family 😭

notes: HAPPY NEW YEAR MY POOKIES!! i hope all of you have an amazing, healthy and happy 2024 🥹🫶🏻 may all your goals come to fruition!! also, i’m very excited for a new year with my jebis, may they continue to thrive and be as happy as they can be <3 also, hope wakeone burns down xoxo MWAH LOVE U ALL <33 ALSO!! i picked gyuvin for this bc some knetz are pissing me off currently with their stupid hate for gyuvin, so i decided to write this bc i LOVE KIM GYUVIN!! IF YOU DONT MAY GOD STRIKE YOU DOWN

word count: 1.6k

you don’t mind being single, really. it’s not really the ‘being single’ part that makes you feel weird, but rather just…not getting to have the same experiences as your friends. always having to sit and nod along when they talk about a date they went on, or how they celebrated a holiday with their partner. it’s exhausting being surrounded by couples all the time. they’re all your friends and you’re happy for them, but when it comes to events like this, you really wish you’d have more single friends.

new year’s eve is supposed to be fun, filled with laughter and loud excitement for the coming year — it is all that, but it’s also you watching your friends huddle together once the countdown to midnight starts, sharing sweet nothings before celebrating the new year with a sickeningly sweet new years kiss.

all while you kind of just stand there, celebrating the arrival of yet another year on your own. for those few lips-locking seconds, at least. is it a little silly to feel left out? of course, but is it really that absurd to want to experience a new years kiss just like everyone else? well, you don’t think so. gyuvin, your best friend, sees things a little differently, though.

“it’s so stupid, i don’t get why you’re so hung up on it,” gyuvin huffs past his snacking on some chips, throwing you a sideways glance. “just think about it, most of them have a different new year’s kiss every year. does that seem like something you want?” you roll your eyes, snatching the bag of chips from his hands. “you don’t get it,” you stuff a handful of chips into your mouth, “it’s romantic. it’s like saying ‘i have no idea what the new year will bring, but at least i will always have you.’ you’re not romantic enough for this.”

gyuvin just gives you a skeptic look, turning his attention back to the drama playing on your tv. it’s silent for a while, both of you a little lost in your respective thoughts until gyuvin quietly speaks up, “does it really bother you? that you don’t have someone to….” he trails off, voice a little unsure. his voice is sincere and doesn’t have the teasing tone it had earlier so you’re a little caught off guard.

you clear your throat, answering in an equally small voice, “well…yeah, kinda? i don’t know. i just think it would be…nice, for a change, you know? i want to experience stuff like that too, instead of just always watching from the sidelines.” gyuvin nods, seemingly understanding where you’re coming from, and that was that. for now, at least.

you didn’t think much of that little one off conversation, neither of you bringing it up again in the weeks that followed. though, unbeknownst to you, that seemingly unimportant conversation kept knocking at the back of gyuvin’s mind every single day. he thought about it an embarrassing amount, really. he kept telling himself that it was because he thought you were being silly, and all those times he thought about being the one giving you your new year’s kiss were definitely nothing more than fleeting, stupid thoughts. nothing more.

which is why gyuvin is so conflicted when he walks through the door of your little friend group get together on new year’s eve, bags of snacks in hand, only to see you laughing with a guy he hasn’t seen before. there’s an unfamiliar feeling bubbling in his chest and he almost involuntarily thinks back to your conversation, to the fact that you really want to kiss someone once the clock strikes midnight — and it starts to mess with his head.

he’s quickly roped into a conversation with ricky and some of his other friends, though his eye seem to be glued to you instead of the people talking to him right in front of him; his eyes drifting back to you giggling along to whatever that strange guy was talking about every few minutes, the unsettled feeling in his chest spreading all over his body. “are you even listening?” gyuvin’s attention is ripped away from staring holes in that guys head when ricky addresses him directly, ricky’s hand on his shoulder bringing him back to reality.

“yeah, sorry.” the smile on gyuvin’s face is tight, ricky glancing to where you’re still speaking to the guy and it all makes sense to him. he sends gyuvin a sympathetic look and tries to keep up the conversation, though it’s clear gyuvin’s mind is entirely preoccupied.

when the calls for new snacks start, gyuvin immediately volunteers to filling the bowls back up in the kitchen, if only to avoid his eyes from drifting back to you and the guy — whose name is seunghan, he learned — and in turn dampening his mood even further. today is supposed to be fun, why is he moping around like this?

“what did the chips do to you? you’re practically glaring ar them,” gyuvin’s head whips around at your voice, the playful smile on your face lifting some of the heaviness in his chest when he sees you standing in the doorway.

��oh, hey.” gyuvin gives you a small smile and goes back to his snack duties while trying to sound as nonchalant as possible, “who’s the guy you’ve been talking to? you bring him along?”

shaking your head you reach over to steal a handful of cheese puffs gyuvin had just emptied into a bowl, “not me, but ahrin. his name is seunghan and she has her eye on him,” you mumble, “he’s funny and they both seem to like each other.” gyuvin nods, hand absentmindedly playing with his sleeves, “you think she’ll go for the new years kiss with him?” gyuvin asks, and you can tell he regrets the question as soon as he asked it.

you just shrug silently, the sudden mention of the kiss rendering you a little speechless. “ and you? you got anyone to kiss this year?” gyuvin says in an overly sarcastic tone, seemingly in an effort to loosen the tension a little. you snort at that, “ha ha, very funny. leave me and my romantic aspirations alone,” the lightheartedness in your voice makes gyuvin relax a little, and just when he’s about to speak, someone bangs against the kitchen door, demanding your attention.

“c’mon you two, we’re playing some games,” matthew calls before rushing back to the living room. you and gyuvin share a short glance before loading up on all the snacks and following suit, excited for the mess that is most definitely about to ensue.

two screaming matches, one round of (rigged, according to hao) just dance, three bowls of snacks and dozens of tears spilt through laughter later and the almost dreaded countdown to midnight is inching closer. the couples are slowly starting to separate from the group again, looking for an area that is less crowded and a little more romantic. your high mood is slowly starting to go down, the feeling of once again being the third wheel, in a way, accompanied by this off-putting feeling of loneliness in a room full of your friends bringing the self-doubt at the back of your mind to the forefront again.

gyuvin plops down next to you, stretching his long limbs with a groan, “god i hate sitting on the floor,” he looks around, the amount of couples in your friend group only now really hitting him, “damn, is that kiss really that important?” it was a rhetorical question, really, and he was speaking to himself more than anything, yet you turn to scowl at him.

you open your mouth to go on a rant about the lack of romance in gyuvin’s mindset when he suddenly turns to you, cheeks a little flushed but eyes filled with determination, “i’ll do it.”

you blink at him, “huh? do what?” gyuvin swallows, “kiss you. give you the new years kiss you want.” it takes a second for his words to register, before you splutter at him incredulously, “what— gyuvin why would we—“

“okay, time for the countdown! ten!” you hear from the other side of the room, and panic starts to fill gyuvin’s expression. “because i want to. i’ve been thinking about it ever since you mentioned it, and—“

“seven!”

“you said it was like saying that i have no idea what the new year will bring, but at least i will always have you, right?” his eyes search for yours, his pupils shaking and you nod, still a little stunned.

“four!”

“that’s exactly i want to tell you. so please—“

“three!”

“i want to be the one to give you your new years kiss. if you want—“

“two!”

and then, it happens. you grab his face and pull him close, hesitation for just a millisecond before your lips meet right as it reaches midnight. the fireworks outside colouring the sky feel almost pathetic in comparison to the burst of emotions exploding in your chest, it’s warm and fuzzy and just feels so right.

both of your faces are flushed bright red as your lips separate, but neither of you can keep from biting back the goofy smiles spreading on your faces. before you can even begin to think of something to say gyuvin leans back in, pressing another kiss to your lips.

and another. and another…and another.

you only separate for good when your giggles break through the kiss, gyuvin’s hands cupping your face, “i’d say that was a pretty good start into the new year, no?”

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fatuismooches · 9 months

Text

a lesson in happiness.

Kabukimono did not know the day of his creation.

It was already a sad thing, you thought, to not have been given a name at birth. Much less to not know the day you were first brought into this world. To not have a birthday. Though Kabukimono initially didn’t care, due to having no knowledge of the concepts of birthdays at first, seeing other villagers celebrate their own caused him to be excited about his birthday, and then be crushed by the realization that he didn’t have one.

He acted like it didn’t hurt him. But it did. And it hurt you too. Though, you had an idea.

January third. That was the day Katsuragi and the others found the puppet lying inside Shakkei Pavilion. It wasn’t his day of birth, but still an important day. A day when he was found. Seen. And you wanted Kabukimono to feel special, just like every human does, on a day of the year. So you devised a little plan. It wasn’t anything grand of course, no, you didn’t have the Mora for that. But to Kabukimono, he would probably think you may have just given him a five-star course anyway. You hadn’t told him about this yet, as you wanted it to be a surprise.

The first step was baking a cake, which wasn’t as simple as one would think.

Kabukimono was always open to trying new human foods, but surprisingly, he did not enjoy sweets. You’ll never forget the screwed-up expression on his face when you introduced him to dango. He tried to speak while eating it but it sounded all jumbled up because his teeth were stuck together. It was quite adorable.

So therefore, you had to make sure that the cake wasn’t too sweet and also tasted good at the same time. Admittedly, it wasn’t easy, and it took you a good amount of tries. Not to mention Kabukimono was constantly glued at your hip so it was hard to find time to do it so he wouldn’t find out about the surprise. But at last, you had done it. It was light, fluffy, and yummy, with not too much sugar so you hoped Kabukimono would find it delicious.

The second thing was to acquire a gift. It was hard to think of something to get your lover. It felt like, no matter what you gave him, it wouldn’t be enough. No matter how much it was (not that you had the money for that anyway.) But you had settled on something simple but pretty - you had commissioned someone in the village to produce a lovely, handmade comb for you. It was beautiful, sturdy and practical, and the best part it had your and Kabukimono’s initials carved into it with a plus sign.

Kabukimono always loved it when you brushed his hair. It had become a nightly and morning routine actually. Every night you’d brush out the knots that may have accumulated during the day. And in the morning you’d brush out any tangles he may have gotten in his sleep. You took care of his silky princessy hair better than your own. So you think he’d appreciate this comb especially, for when he had to brush his hair when you weren’t around.

Regardless, you were set and prepared to make Kabukimono’s first birthday with you a success. The night before, you were trying to hide your giddiness, but it seemed like you weren’t the only one. Kabukimono kept looking at you with shy eyes, to which you smiled and came to hug him from behind, wrapping your arms around him.

“Something you want to say, love?” You asked, nuzzling your face into his neck. He blushed a little bit.

“I was just thinking a bit.”

“About? Perhaps little old me?”

“Yes,” he said honestly. “But also about tomorrow. It was the day I…” The puppet’s memory was always sharp, you noticed. Of course he wouldn’t forget about such a notable day.

“The day Katsuragi and the others found you,” you finished. “And the day I met you,” you softly pressed a kiss against his cheek.

“You remembered!” Kabukimono beamed.

“Of course I did,” you chuckled. “How could I forget about the love of my life?” You squeezed him tighter and pulled him down, both of you falling together onto the futon as giggles filled the air. “I can’t believe it’s already been a year,” you sighed nostalgically. To think time would pass so fast.

“I remember it so clearly. Like it was yesterday…” The puppet drifted off as he buried his face in your chest. “So many things have happened since then. Sometimes I can’t believe it.”

“Me either,” you agreed, stroking his hair. “I’m quite happy to have been able to be with you for this long though.”

“Me too, [Name]! You’ve always made my days so much better,” he reached up to kiss your cheek and you grinned, cupping his face and pulling him in for another. Intimate moments like this were always lovely.

… But you knew for Kabukimono, this would eventually become nothing but a drop in the eternity that would stretch on endlessly for him.

—

It was Kabukimono’s birthday today.

That was the first thing you thought when you cracked your eyes open. You turned to face your lover and there he was, sleeping peacefully, snuggled into your shoulder. Stunning, as usual. For someone who didn’t need to sleep, he sure seemed to enjoy it. Though you hoped that today he’d stay asleep by himself for a while now. He always seemed to know when you left the futon and would soon follow you. So this time you placed a pillow for him to snuggle into instead. Hopefully, that’d keep him at bay for a bit until you finished baking the cake. You already knew the process like the back of your hand so it wouldn’t be too long.

… Unfortunately, Kabukimono was awake and pouting at you in the kitchen before you finished, the baked cake lying on the counter to cool while you had just finished whisking the icing.

“[Name], what are you doing up so early?” He whined, rubbing his eyes and sleepily making his way over to you. As he got closer he squinted at the stuff on the cupboard. “Are you making a cake? Is it someone’s birthday?”

Looks like the jig was up. “Yes, indeed. It’s for someone very important,” you hummed, as you began to spread the frosting over the layers of cake. Kabukimono blinked at you, trying to figure out who it could be. January third… January third. Not Niwa, nor Katsuragi… Kinjirou? No, not him either.

“Who?”

“You, silly.” There was a pause after your words as your lover stared at you blankly, processing your words.

“What? I-I don’t understand, [Name],” the puppet looked at you with a perplexed expression. You merely smiled back in response.

“A year ago today, when we all found you, you became part of this village’s family. You became irreplaceable to all of us. Especially me,” you uttered softly, looking straight into his eyes. “It may not have been the day you were brought into this world, but instead a day you were introduced to the world. A fitting day for a birthday, no? And I’d love to celebrate it with you… as long as it’s okay with you, dear.”

Kabukimono was stunned into near silence. “Is that… really possible? Can I really do that?”

“Of course you can. There are no rules.” Within seconds, a large smile appeared on Kabukimono’s face.

“January third… my birthday. My birthday! I actually have one now!” He looked so joyful, that it would make anyone smile. The puppet felt as though he was a little bit more human now.

“Indeed you do! Now, go get ready. We’re going out soon. There’s a really pretty spot I want to take you.” At this point, Kabukimono was practically jumping in excitement.

“Thank you so much [Name]! I love you so much!” He threw his hands around you quickly and then released you to go off and get changed.

“Love you… too.” Before you could even finish your sentence he was already out of the room. You couldn’t help but chuckle to yourself as you retrieved a basket to place the cake and other small foods in.

Today was going to be an excellent day.

—

Kabukimono was too thrilled to walk at a normal pace, so the two of you were virtually running to the spot you had picked out. Thankfully the food was okay. Once the two of you had settled down at the scenic spot, the puppet marveled at the snacks and most importantly, the cake. It had been a hit with him, considering how he gobbled it down before you even finished your first slice. You made a mental note to make more non-sweet pastries for him.

Not to mention how over the moon he was when you finally presented his gift, the comb. He couldn’t stop staring and fiddling with it, despite the fact there was really not much to see after a few minutes. Regardless, he asked you to comb his hair with it while he played with the finches and squirrels that had somehow shown up in his lap.

It really was a beautiful day, a birthday well celebrated. Now, it was going to be the evening time soon, so you two began to make it back to your home. Kabukimono wanted to cuddle in bed with you and read some stories. But when you arrived, you had one more surprise for your lover.

“There’s one last thing for you.”

“There’s even more?” Kabukimono looked at you with pure awe and adoration, making your heart squeeze.

“Yup! Though this one… it’s something for both of us, kind of. You’ll see. Wait here!” And with that you were running off, leaving the puppet confused and intrigued. But in no time you were back, carrying something.

It was… a tree? With the bottom of it contained in a bag with soil.

“[Name], you got us a tree?”

“Not just any tree, love. A Lavender Melon tree,” you grinned, setting the plant down with a huff. “You know what that means?”

“… We’re going to grow our own Lavender Melons!” The boy launched himself at you and you almost toppled over, but you gladly accepted his affection. “Oh but, how do we take care of it? I’ve never done something like this before!”

“Don’t worry, we’ll take it step by step. It’s not easy, but it’ll be rewarding and fun! Here, would you help me plant it now?” The puppet eagerly agreed and you two got to work finding a nice spot for your new tree and shoveling the ground (which Kabukimono insisted on doing himself despite it being his birthday.) Soon enough, the fruit tree was tucked firmly into the ground and watered. Kabukimono looked rather proud.

“I’ve never seen a tree this short. So this is how they look before they’re all grown up.”

“This one isn’t even that tiny. I’ve seen saplings much smaller. Though, maybe if you sing to it, it’ll grow faster.”

“Really? Is that true?!” Kabukimono was now staring at you with wide, impressed eyes. Before you could even respond, he spoke again. “Well, I’ll sing as much as it wants every day.” Your eyes softened at his declaration. You couldn’t wait to hear that.

“But [Name], how long will it take to bear some Lavender Melons?”

“Well, it’s going to be a long journey. We might see some in a few years from now.”

“Oh, that isn’t too far away! How juicy do you think our melons will be? I can’t wait!”

Your heart felt a prick of pain at his words. A few years, a blink of an eye for Kabukimono, but ages for you. His perception of time was so different from yours, the more time you spent with him, the more it hurt you badly to think of how it would scar him in the future.

“But [Name], why did you get this tree in the first place? We can always buy Lavender Melons from the market.” His innocent voice snapped you out of your thoughts. Today was a happy day for both of you. It was rude to think such things today of all days.

“You’re right, we can. But I just thought it would be nice to raise something together.”

“Raise something?”

“Yes. Human life is beautiful, but so is the life of nature, animals, and things around us. It’s a nice feeling to be able to nourish and take care of something. Perhaps later on we can get a cat too. What do you think?” You expected a response but you received nothing.

“Kabuki-” You froze mid-sentence when you saw your lover’s face.

Kabukimono was crying.

“Oh Kabukimono, what’s wrong?” You immediately went to embrace and comfort him. “You can talk to me.” The only problem was that Kabukimono himself did not know where these tears came from. This whole day had been so incredible and joyous, so why was he crying?

The only experience he had with tears were moments when it felt like his chest had been pierced and left with a gaping hole. When he was abandoned. When he sat alone in Shakkei Pavilion, his whole body ached as he believed himself to be tossed out like trash. So why…? Why was he crying when you were being so kind to him…?

“I- I don’t know,” he croaked. “It just came out of nowhere,” he wept into your chest. You were silent for a bit, stroking his hair before you spoke.

“Tears are not only a sign of sadness, Kabukimono. They are also for anger, surprise, jealousy, fear… but most importantly, happiness. If I may take a little guess here… you are feeling so much happiness, you became a bit overwhelmed,” you gently explained, wiping his tears with your fingers and sleeves. Kabukimono looked at you with teary eyes. “Am I right, love?”

The puppet looked down, contemplating your words and trying to understand his own emotions. You were right. Though there was a tinge of sadness in his chest, all he could think about was how grateful he was to have you. His light, his support. The one who gave him a second chance after he thought he was useless, the one who gave him worth and meaning to himself and this world.

“Happy birthday, Kabukimono. May we spend many more together.”

The puppet’s heart felt oddly at ease at your words, and he slowly nodded as he enjoyed the homely warmth your embrace provided.

He thought you would be right.

lesson 1. lesson 2. lesson 3. lesson 4. lesson 5. lesson 6. lesson 7. lesson 8. lesson 9. lesson 10. bonus lesson.

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #scaramouche x reader #wanderer x reader #kabukimono x reader #wanderer fluff #scaramouche fluff #kabukimono #scaramouche headcanons #scaramouche #wanderer #kunikuzushi #scaramouche genshin #wanderer genshin #scaramouche fanfic #scaramouche angst #wanderer angst

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exitpursuedbyavulcan · 1 year

Text

Studious III (Aemond Targaryen x Reader) 18+

In an attempt to help you understand his recent behavior, Prince Aemond you his diary to read. What will you find within?

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x fem!reader (second person, no use of Y/N)

Warnings: non-graphic smut, perhaps Aegon's best commentary yet, more Aemond being an awkward idiot

Author's Note: The diary is being split into two part, which means this will turn into a six part series. Enjoy!

Read Part I Here - Read Part II Here

My Masterlist

Taglist will be done via reblogs (there are simply too many of you to fit here)

Studious III

Aemond’s diary was magnificently bound. The cover was made from supple, well-tanned black leather, which had likely cost a fortune by itself. The pages were so precisely cut that you had to run your finger across the edge several times for your nail to catch. And the paper itself was smooth and rich, far finer than any you had ever written on.

The benefits of being a Prince, you supposed.

You considered for quite some time whether to start reading Aemond’s diary – gods, he had given his diary, that gesture of trust would take more time to fully process – at the beginning or at the first ribbon. More than a dozen of them, each made of fine green velvet, were laid throughout the pages marking what he most wanted you to read.

Reasoning that the beginning was the most logical choice, you opened to the first page:

The 1st day in the first moon of the year.

It is after midnight that I am writing this, the very first moments of a new year. The Maesters believe it will be another year of summer, but time will tell.

The Small Council has begun making preparations for autumn, so the Crown will be ready the moment word arrives from the Citadel that winter is approaching. I have asked Grandsire to include me in these preparations so that I may learn how…

You looked away from the page, wiping the sleep from your eyes.

It wasn’t that it was boring, exactly. But it was pretty typical – nothing that revealed anything new about Aemond. Though you supposed the fact that he began a new diary on the first day of the year, rather than whenever you filled the journal you were using – as you did – said something about how regimented he was. Orderly.

Still, with each word, your gaze was drawn to the green ribbons. To the passages he most wanted you to read.

You suspected they were all passages relating to you.

So, with the promise that you would eventually return to find out what, exactly, he wanted to learn about the Crown’s preparations for winter, you grabbed the end of the first ribbon and let the pages fall…

The 16th day in the third moon of the year.

The betrothal has been settled. Finally.

I doubt I could have endured another miserable day of sitting in Grandsire’s study, listening to him read each of the letters sent by lords from throughout the realm, desperate to pawn their daughters off to a Prince of the Realm. Though I suppose I should be grateful he had already whittled the list down to only the two-score ladies he found the most politically advantageous.

Aegon told me that more than a hundred letters arrived. So, it could have been much worse.

Every letter was nearly the same, listing the family’s wealth and assets along with their daughters ‘accomplishments.’ In truth, calling them such seems far too generous. What does a scrap of embroidery or a reasonably well-played song truly accomplish, other than a few fleeting moments of mediocre beauty? It always fades.

Besides, every highborn lady is trained in the same skills, so they are hardly exceptional.

You frowned, looking up from the journal and at the dozens of examples of your own embroidery scattered throughout the room – including on the blanket you laid under. True, they were not always perfect, but you were proud of each and every one of them.

Then there was your little lyre, sitting by the sun. You hadn’t had the chance to play since coming to the capital, and you realised in that moment that you truly missed it. Once, it had been second nature to pick it up immediately upon waking and pluck nonsensically at the strings as your maids readied you for the day.

Those songs – if they could be called songs at all –were always your favourites. Wholly unique creations of your mind, never transposed, never to be played the same again. Briefly, you almost stood and retrieved the lyre, just to see what your hands would create in this moment.

But that would require setting down Aemond’s diary.

You looked back down at his words and frowned again. It took no small amount of time and effort to develop your skills. In fact, you were quite proud of what you had accomplished. No one was born knowing how to embroider or play music.

Neither was anyone born knowing how to wield a sword or ride a dragon.

Your frown faded at that thought, as you imagined how Aemond would look if you said that to him. The memory of him in the library when you snapped back at him, looking like a befuddled fish, returned to you. It was so enticing that you called for one of your maids to bring your diary, a pen, and ink.

Turning to the first blank page, you noted the date of Aemond’s offending entry and wrote out exactly how you would rebuff him if he had said such a thing to you.

Perhaps, when you were done reading, you would tell him.

The lady we chose – my betrothed now, I suppose – is the only one that could possibly be called ‘exceptional,’ even if only among her unimpressive peers.

I almost dismissed her, for the letter written by her father was almost entirely unremarkable.

She is accomplished, as all highborn ladies are. Her father wrote that she crafts beautiful embroidery, plays some instrument or another moderately well, and is an able conversationalist. I believe there was also something about flowers – she likes them, or grows them, or enjoys arranging them?

But none of this is truly remarkable. Indeed, as Grandsire read, I admit I was not giving him my full attention. Why would I? I had heard the same words at least a dozen times already.

And then – ‘much of her free time is spent in the library, and she can rarely be found without a book somewhere on her person, even if it is just a miniature concealed within her sleeve. She is quite brilliant, if it is not too presumptuous of me to say so.’

That I had not heard before.

You preened slightly as you read your father’s praise. While your mother admired your dedication to your studies, she also worried that your intellectual pursuits would frighten your suitors away. ‘No man wants a wife smarter than he is,’ she once said.

Your father, however, had encouraged it. Once, you went to his study to show him a new book you’d found, only to overhear his steward expressing his concerns about how much the new library acquisitions were too costly. Your father dismissed him and his ‘concerns.’

And it seemed the investment in your education paid off if it caught the attention of a Prince.

It piqued Grandsire’s interest as well. After he finished reading the letter of introduction, instead of moving on to the next girl, he turned to Mother and asked for her opinion – of both the lady and her family.

Mother did not have overwhelming praise, but neither did she have any complaints. They are not the most powerful ally, though they will strengthen our position adequately enough. The Lord and Lady are friendly, if a bit dull, so it would not be an annoyance if they were to visit King’s Landing after the wedding. And they are pious – her parents have made many journeys to Oldtown and the Starry Sept.

You picked up your pen to again write a rebuttal but stopped. It wasn’t a particularly kind assessment… but it wasn’t inaccurate. You loved your parents, but even you could admit they were ‘a bit dull.’

The miniature portrait that arrived along with the letter shows that her appearance is agreeable, is somewhat plain. Though I suspect that she will wish I could be called the same. Indeed, she will be lovely standing next to me. And Mother says she will look very fine in either green, black, or even red.

It is a good match – politically and strategically, of course.

And if she truly does enjoy reading so, if she is ‘brilliant’ as her father says…

Perhaps marriage will not be so bad.

I am under no illusions that this is, or ever will be, anything more than a political arrangement. An obligation on both our parts. I know that I am neither suited to nor deserving of love.

I have negotiated with Mother and Grandsire that her chambers will be far from mine. Within the Holdfast for her safety, but far enough away that she will not be forced to see me more than our duties require.

By both her father’s and my mother’s accounts, she is kind. I am not.

A political arrangement. That is all it will be – all it must be.

But I hope that in choosing her, I can find some companionship in the arrangement. At the very least, perhaps we can discuss our favourite books.

Any offence you took at being called ‘plain’ was overshadowed by the aching in your heart at seeing how little Aemond thought of himself.

Yes, he was scarred. But he was still achingly handsome.

As far as you knew, he had done nothing that would make him undeserving of love. Surely everyone was deserving of love. At least, that is what you were always taught by your Septa.

He had said some unkind things to you, but now… after reading his note, you knew they must not have been meant as such. He was trying to be kind. He just didn’t know quite how.

The urge to throw the diary aside and run to him immediately threatened to overwhelm you. But he asked that you read, so you could know and understand him. And you were not finished yet. So, after taking a moment to clear your head by writing out a list of your favourite books, you turned to the next marked page.

The 9th day in the fifth moon of the year.

The man who painted that portrait should be flogged. Publicly. Or hanged, perhaps. For he has done to my betrothed the gravest injustice.

She arrived today. And I have been forever changed.

There is no creature more beautiful in the world. Not even Sunfyre is as radiant as her. And that imbecile of an artist – if he can even be called such a thing – made her look plain.

I shall burn that portrait immediately, and locate a true artist. One who is capable of capturing her loveliness.

Though it may be that such a thing is impossible. For it is not just her appearance that is so enchanting, but indeed her every aspect.

Her voice is more beautiful than any other sound or music I have ever heard. And she speaks with such elegance and intelligence! The reports were true – she possesses a brilliant mind. There was so much I wanted to ask her, to discuss with her, but I found myself unable to say any of it.

The words were so clear in my mind, and yet my mouth would not move. I do not even know if I actually greeted her, or if I only thought to do so. I must have, or else Mother would have scolded me. I wonder what I said…

You laughed slightly. He had only said two things to you that first day. When you rose from your curtsy in the courtyard, the first time you had looked into his eye, all he had said was your name.

He had been entirely silent the rest of the day.

Then, as you exited the welcome feast later that night, he looked into your eyes again. Finally, after a moment of furious blinking, he had said your name again and then turned abruptly to leave.

The first of many times he had done so.

You had thought he simply hadn’t wanted to speak with you, but it seemed you were very, very wrong.

From that very first meeting… he liked you.

It was almost humorous how quickly he gave up on his declaration that your marriage would be nothing more than a ‘political arrangement.’

No, it was more than just humorous – it was hilarious. And more than a little flattering.

Stoic Prince Aemond, who since losing his eye had been as cold and unfeeling as stone, was practically smitten with you!

Suddenly, you realised that you were smiling so wide that your cheeks were beginning to burn, and in your delight, you had apparently kicked your legs about – your blanket now lay on the floor. But you didn’t care. You were blushing so much that you were perfectly warm, even in your flimsy nightgown.

And as you read further, your blushing did not stop.

The 10th day in the 5th month of the year

I spent nearly the entire day in her presence, and it has made me ever surer of my initial assessment – my feelings.

She is wonderful.

I was worried that, this morning, she would be different. That I would wake and find that my mind had played tricks on me yesterday, and she was not as beautiful, or sweet, or kind as I first thought. But, to my unending delight, she is all of it and more.

Mother and I met her and her own Lady Mother in the Royal Sept early this morning. When plans for the wedding were first being made, I did enquire about the ceremony being held not there, but in the Grand Sept. However, the request was firmly denied.

Grandsire gave me various explanations – that the expense was too great, that her family would be able to remain in King’s Landing for only a short time due to the coming winter, that the Grand Sept would be too busy preparing for the coming harvest celebration, and any number of other foolish things. I appreciate that he tried to shelter my pride, but it was unnecessary.

I know the real reason.

I am a Prince, but I am the third born. The second son. And my betrothed… she is the fifth born, if I remember correctly, although the eldest daughter.

I – we – are not worthy of the honour of being wed in the Grand Sept.

Perhaps if her family were more powerful, maybe one of the Great Houses…

Why do I even care? Being Wed in the Royal Sept is still an honour, and the gods will watch over us no matter where we say our vows. But still, I want it.

I want it for her.

I want to see her face alight as she enters the Sept and sees not only its magnificence but its each and every alcove filled with hundreds of people all there for her – for us.

We will both have to settle for the lesser beauty of the Royal Sept and a few dozen witnesses in place of the hundreds she deserves.

You would have loved to be wed in the Grand Sept – to have been given that great an honour.

But you had never considered it until reading Aemond’s words. And though you tried to make yourself share in his regret, you were unable to truly feel it. Nor could you feel any offence at his comments about your own importance and that of your house.

All you felt was a pang of sadness that Aemond considered himself so unworthy, as did his family, it seemed. After the sadness faded, there came a blossoming warmth in your chest, that he wanted it not for himself, but for you.

You picked up your pen to write something, but couldn’t think of what to say. That you wished he wasn’t a second son? That he was just as important as his elder brother, or his sister, the heir?

In the end, you simply wrote: ‘Thank you. Perhaps we can visit the Grand Sept soon. Together.’

At least there will be a suitably grand celebration after the ceremony.

Gods, am I actually looking forward to the feast? I hate feasts.

I hate the crowds, the overloud music that somehow does not drown out the din of the drunken guests gossiping like fools. I hate being forced to sit and watch while the people that claim to be noble and dignified gorge themselves like rats on obscenely rich food and repulsively strong wine. I hate all the cowering girls that approach me only because their fathers want to secure an advantageous marriage, who Mother always tries to make me dance with – oh, that’s it.

I will not have to listen to the music or the gossiping. I will not have to watch the crowd or dance with any girls who look at me as if I am some creature of the night.

It will just be me and her.

And the some three hundred guests mother has invited. But it will be bearable, so long as I can sit next to her, talk to her, dance with her.

Yet he never said a word to you at the feast, and danced with you but once.

‘I would have danced with you all night,’ you wrote. ‘If you’d only asked.’

Oh yes, I think I will like this feast very much.

She will as well, I am sure. With every detail Mother told her as we showed her the Great Hall for the first time, she looked so happy, so excited. She is not afraid of me – she is excited to marry me!

Though she did not speak to me beyond greeting me when I arrived… Perhaps it is a fault of mine, for I do not believe I spoke to her, either. I wanted to, but again, I could not find the words.

Of course, now that I am alone, I can think of a thousand things I want to say. A thousand things I want…

After dinner, I escorted her to her new chambers. We were chaperoned, of course, by our mothers. But even with their eyes upon us, when I brought her to that door… I wanted to follow her through it.

I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to touch her. I wanted… gods, I wanted all of it.

But it is not lust.

At least, not in its entirety. I would be a damnable liar if I did not say the very sight of her – of her sparkling eyes and the glimpse of her breasts the dress she wore today granted me – had me thinking sinful, unbecoming thoughts. I admit I am grateful my jacket disguised any evidence of where my mind was as I said goodnight.

I think I said goodnight – didn’t I?

You began to blush again, but it was of a different sort of bashfulness than before. For this wasn’t innocent compliments about your beauty or your wit. It was…

As much as Aemond tried to deny it, it was lust. He lusted for you.

It was a sin. You should have been disgusted. Offended.

Yet, you weren’t.

For you would also be a ‘damnable liar’ if you tried to say you hadn’t lusted for him either. Perhaps not before the wedding, but you had certainly desired him since.

But you certainly couldn’t write that down. So instead, you wrote that he had not said goodnight. He had looked like he might, but he only nodded slightly and left.

Is it truly a sin to list after the woman who is to be my wife? Or does it remain a sin until we are actually wed? I shall have to ask Eustace on the morrow.

Still, it is not only lust. For she is not only beautiful. She is kind, sweet, intelligent, and so, so good.

I fear I may love her.

Or, at the very least, it would be very easy to love her. And harder still to not.

I do not want to love her.

To love her would be to condemn myself to a life of perpetual misery, for I know she could never love me in return.

Nor would I want her to. No one should be forced to love someone like me – someone so broken and hateful.

Perhaps it would be kinder for both of us if I called off the betrothal. I am sure Grandsire could find a way to dissolve the arrangement without causing damage to her reputation. If my own must take the blame, I would gladly do it.

Something else was written at the end of that line, but it had been so thoroughly crossed out that you could not decipher it.

I cannot. I have known her little more than a day, but I know I must have her. Not just physically, but… I need her in my life.

She is the first light I have felt in many years, and perhaps it makes me the most selfish person alive, but I simply cannot go back into the dark.

So, the day after tomorrow, I will marry her.

Tonight, I will pray that tomorrow ends quickly. Perhaps I will attempt sleeping all the way through it, and hope I dream of her.

You felt a cracking in your chest. A hurt deeper than you had ever known. And it was not only for you, but for Aemond. For both of you.

‘I need her in my life.’ And yet almost as soon as you were wed, he left you.

In those first two weeks, you only ever saw Aemond in an official capacity. Was seeing you for only a few hours every day, wherein the both of you were almost entirely silent, really enough for him?

Of course, it wasn’t. He would not have come to your chamber again that night if it was. He would not have kissed you when you lay together or touched beyond what was required by duty. He would not have approached you again and again, even when he consistently angered you or made a fool of himself.

It took him longer than you wanted to that first time, and how he did so was almost always unexpected, but…

Aemond had made a habit of leaving you, but he always came back.

The weight of that realisation and the warmth and lightness it brought to your chest could not be lifted by even the largest of dragons. So, you did not ponder it any further, nor did you write anything down. There was, at once, too many things to say and yet not enough words to express them properly.

So instead, you turned the page so hard it nearly tore.

The 11th day in the 5th moon of the year.

Today did not pass quickly.

In fact, today may have actually lasted an entire year. Or at least it felt that way. I shall have to ask the Maesters to look into it.

Gods, if I make such a pathetic excuse for a joke in front of her, she will call off the wedding herself. Humour has never been my domain. But she does so like to laugh…

I will improve, as I hope my attempts to speak to her improve with time and practice. Or perhaps I can find a book on the theories and practices of comedy in the library. Unfortunately, I doubt such a book exists for talking to one’s wife.

With a small smile, you made another entry in your journal, noting each time he had made you laugh since the moment you met. True, he was not the funniest man you had ever met – not even close. But he had made you laugh more than a handful of times.

You thought he’d like to know it.

While I cannot say that today was the worst of my life – I do not imagine any day could be so terrible to usurp that title – I struggle to identify anything good I can report.

I did not sleep at all during the night. My mind was too occupied by thoughts of my betrothed. By the things I should have said to her these past two days and how she looks when she smiles. Gods, I do not think there is much in the world I want so much as to make her smile.

Did she think of me at the same time? Did thoughts of me keep her from sleep?

You had, in fact, had trouble sleeping. Though you could not say that it was because you were thinking of Aemond. Instead, it was mostly your worries that kept you awake, wondering whether the King and Queen liked you, if your dress would fit, and dreading the possibility of your misspeaking during the wedding ceremony.

Your thoughts of Aemond were few, and they, too, were mostly worries. But, then, he had said fewer words to you than you could count on your hands, so you were all but convinced he had not liked you. The fear that he would call off the wedding had loomed over your like a stormcloud.

And it was not an unfounded fear, apparently. Although his reasons for considering doing so were far different than you would have thought.

It was not only my mind that kept me awake but… other parts of me as well. When the hour grew very late, my thoughts drifted not to the wedding itself or the feast that will follow, but to the bedding.

Mother has insisted on a private bedding and no drunken escorts, after seeing how miserable Helaena’s ceremony made her. My poor sister didn’t emerge from her chamber for days afterwards, and Aegon was no help. He was drunk for an entire week after the wedding – or at least he was when he was at the Keep, which was rarely.

At least I have that. Finally, I will be alone with her.

I must stop considering it, or my body will again react to these sinful thoughts. For they are sinful – I asked Septon Eustace, and he confirmed that such thoughts remain sinful until we are wed. So, I will try and avoid them until that time.

There was a blotch of ink next to that last paragraph, which bled into the following pages through the small hole that had been pierced through the paper. As though…

The image of Aemond stabbing his pen into his journal in frustration came to you, making you smile. You picked up your own and wrote, ‘Some craftsman worked very hard to make you such a fine journal. It is quite rude of you to treat it with such brutality.’

I did not get to see her for more than a few moments today. She was late to dinner, as were both our mothers. They had been all but consumed by the preparations for tomorrow. They mentioned flowers and streamers, music and foods, and many comments about hair, jewels, and dresses that I simply did not understand.

And her damn father seemed more than happy to indulge them, asking so many questions about each detail that I was never once able to speak with her. Why he is so interested in ladies’ things, I do not know.

Everything else that happened today is hardly worth writing about. I rose early, trained until midday, briefly met with the tailor that made my wedding clothes and sat in on court.

Now, I take comfort that this damnable day is nearly ended, and I must wait only a few hours longer until we are wed. With luck, the sleep which eluded me last night will find me tonight, and I can pass the hours remaining in sweet dreams.

You remembered how you felt at dinner the day before – when Aemond was not there. The way you had felt his absence as though it were a missing limb. He had felt that way about you after less than two full days of knowing you.

If only you had as well. It would have saved much awkwardness and pain on both sides.

There was going back now. So, you read on.

The 12th day in the 5th moon of the year.

I am wed. We are wed. I am married – to her. To my wife.

She is my wife. She will be with me now, always. But… she is not here now.

Oh gods, why did I leave her room? I should have stayed there with her, or taken her back here. Fuck!

Several sharp, scrambling lines covered the rest of the page. Not even an attempt at language – just an expression of anger.

It was almost funny to think of. While you were lying in your bed with your skirt still hiked up around your waist, wondering if that would be the rest of your life, Aemond had been at his desk striking through the journal with his pen like it was a sword.

At least he knew he had been in the wrong?

I will start at the beginning, for I will go mad if I think too long about what I have just done – and what I should have done.

Today did not go exactly as I had planned.

Sleep again did not find me this past night. I simply laid abed, my mind racing and my cock hard. I just thought of her and longed for her and prayed that the sun would finally fucking rise.

Eventually, it did.

And not a moment later, servants came to dress me. I fear I may have been quite rude to them, but I was tired, and the wedding clothes felt much tighter than they did yesterday. I was left alone then to eat my fill before the official breakfast celebration, where I would be too busy receiving the guests to actually eat. But I could not– my stomach was roiling with nerves. I barely drank any of my tea, either.

I wondered what she was doing at that moment. If she was feeling what I was.

You had vomited from your nerves. Twice.

Your mother said it was only by some miracle that your dress was spared.

But there was no chance you would tell Aemond that.

I am almost grateful that Mother insisted on following the traditions of the Reach. For if I had to wait for the ceremony at midday with no distractions… I do know if I could have endured it.

Though, I do not know how I endured the breakfast either.

Every single person in the realm with even a drop of Hightower blood was there, all of them using the wedding as an excuse to curry favour with either the King, Mother, or Lord Hobert. The same as the other guests from the Reach and the few that came from the other kingdoms.

And then there was her family. Or at least the men of her family. Her father is one thing, but she has seven brothers! Seven! Though they were all perfectly polite, I am certain that they would be happy to kill me if I ever hurt her.

If I ever did – which I swear by all the gods I would never do – I would gladly let them. I’d even ask them to take their time and make it hurt.

There was also a great number of her cousins – who would also kill me if I hurt her. I lost count of how many there were, exactly, but it is enough to make a small army. Each of them brought gifts that were clearly meant for her, even though they were presented to me.

Aegon says I should simply be happy I received so many fine gifts – including two dozen swords and even more daggers – but I cannot stand being used like that.

At least my wife – my wife, my wife, my wife – only had to endure the company of the women in her family and not so many people who are practically strangers. I hope she liked her gifts and that she enjoyed her morning. The breakfasts are not a tradition where she is from. I do hope they did not displace any of her family traditions.

You did enjoy your breakfast ceremony. It was unusual at first, and you had to rely on the Queen and distant cousin who had married into the Reach to inform you precisely what you were meant to do.

And now, you were insatiably curious about the gifts from your brothers and cousins. Aemond had not told you about them…

‘Where have you hidden my presents, you rogue?’ you wrote in your journal.

Then, at last, the ceremony.

I remember very little of it, to be completely honest. But I shall never forget how she looked, or how the midday sun lit her in gold as she finally walked through the doors of the Royal Sept.

Writing this may damn me, but I do not care. She was is more beautiful than the Maiden.

Even when she is nervous, which she undoubtedly was. She never smiled entirely, but I could see one playing at her lovely lips.

Oh, and her voice when she swore her vows! I wish I possessed some kind of magic to capture that sound in a bottle, that I may listen to it whenever I wished.

Then I kissed her.

There was another blot of ink, as though he had hovered his pen over the page so long the ink dripped.

I do not possess the words to describe what I felt then.

Rumour has claimed that my heart shrivelled and died after that night on Driftmark. If that is true, then her kiss was a miracle from the gods, for it brought that dead thing back to life – back to such life that I felt I could do anything if she only wished me to.

Even as tears of something like joy began to fall from your eyes, you laughed, remembering what your eldest brother had said about that kiss, ‘It was the most awkward thing I’ve ever seen –I had to watch all our brother’s bedding ceremonies.’

If I had my way, I would have done away with the rest of the ceremony and the feast then and there. I just wanted her, and I didn’t want to wait. But the moment I pulled away from her, Eustace started praying again, and I just had to stand there in front of dozens of people, looking at her and allow myself thoughts that, as of that moment, were no longer sinful.

Thankfully, my wedding clothes were not as tight as I thought. For if they had been, Aegon would have surely teased me for being so obviously eager for my wife – my wife, my wife, my wife.

I was so very eager – damn it all, I shouldn’t have done this either – that I only danced with her once at the feast. If I held her in my arms a moment longer, I would not have been able to resist kissing her again or dragging her away to my chambers long before it was proper.

You almost wished he had dragged you away. Although, considering how the bedding went, perhaps not.

So, I left her to the dancefloor and the many men – and Helaena – that also wanted a turn with her. I remained at the head table, not eating or talking to anyone. Not that there was anyone to talk to. Mother and Grandsire were making rounds, Aegon was chasing women, Helaena was dancing with my wife… the only one at the table with me was the King. I have nothing to say to him.

I do not know if I sat there for five minutes or five hours, but finally, Mother called for the bedding. I did not hesitate.

I actually meant to take her to my chambers, but we ended up in hers. I do not know why. Perhaps… I think I just wanted to see them. Two nights, I left her at that door, aching to go in with her.

Tonight, I did.

I don’t know what I was expecting. Something heavenly? But it was just a room, like any other. Though, I did spy two books on her table. One was a fine but worn copy of the Seven-Pointed Star. Perhaps I will commission a new one for her, bound in her favourite colour.

What is her favourite colour? She is my wife, but I do not know. I should know. I should ask.

But I don’t know if I can ever face her again.

I don’t know what I did wrong. It didn’t feel wrong. It – I’m getting ahead of myself.

When we entered her bedchamber, I froze. I was looking at her bed – where I would take her maidenhead. Where we would hopefully produce our heir. And I just froze. Froze and prayed.

I prayed for knowledge, for the Seven know I have no idea what to do with a woman. I can’t even talk to her. How am I supposed to –

A small spot of angry, squiggling lines.

When I was done praying, which I think took an embarrassingly long time, she was standing before me, her head bowed. She might have been praying, too.

I asked if she wanted my help to remove the various pins and pearls in her hair. Mother and Helaena have both complained that they become uncomfortable after a while. And I know that losing their maidenhead is already uncomfortable enough for women, so it seemed the right thing to do.

Besides, she has such pretty hair. I wanted to help her. To touch her and to run my hands through that hair.

But she said no. She did not want my help.

She was so nervous that I could see her trembling as she shook her head. I did not want to make any more so, so I did not insist further.

Nor did I want to move about her room without her express permission, for I know I would not wish a stranger to snoop around mine.

Can I be called a stranger if we are married?

I did feel the temptation to go to that table and look at the other book there. I suspect it is her diary, for there was no title on the spine, and I believe there was a thin strap holding it closed, as the pages have grown worn. It even looked as though other pages or notes had been tucked inside.

She keeps a diary, just as I do. Just as I am doing now.

Is she writing in hers as well? At the very moment?

If she is, I fear whatever she writes will not be very kind to me.

While she was removing her hairpins, she made a noise. She was trying to hide it, but it was so godsdamned quiet in that room that I could still hear her. It was soft, almost like a whimper.

That one little noise almost pushed me over the edge. Perhaps it wouldn’t have it if I hadn’t been hard for hours, but… I couldn’t wait any longer.

I had planned to remove her clothes myself. It was to be tender and romantic. But I heard that noise, and then she came back to stand beside me, and I saw her loose hair and the barest hint of her breasts, and all my plans vanished.

So, like an idiot, I told her to get on the bed. Fully clothed. And she obeyed! My sweet, innocent wife, who does not know any better, got on the bed with her fucking shoes still on!

I love her. I really do. So, so much.

That’s probably the most ridiculous thing to make me realise it, but that was it.

It wasn’t her fault anyway. I’m the one that told her to lie down. So if either of us is an idiot, it is me.

But I didn’t want her to think I was an idiot, so I didn’t undress either. Instead, I just unlaced my trousers enough to set my cock free. I stroked myself a few times to ensure I was ready – Orwyle said it would be easier if I was as hard as possible.

Then she lifted her skirts. She was undoubtedly a maiden, but her mother must have told her something, as I didn’t have to ask her to do everything. Though I did have to let her know that I needed her legs open – she had them shut tight.

When I got on the bed, I kissed her again. But it didn’t feel the same as it did in the Sept. Then, her lips were soft against mine. She pressed her lips back against mine, if only slightly.

This time, she was utterly still. Her lips were cold.

I don’t think – she didn’t want me to kiss her. Or she was afraid to, or…

Another drop of ink.

She was afraid of me.

I couldn’t look at her anymore. She isn’t supposed to fear me. She is my wife. I thought she wouldn’t look at me… like everyone else.

So I stopped trying to make it romantic. I just did my duty.

But the female anatomy is more complex than I had assumed. I looked at her – I do not know a polite word for it – and I admit I was unsure how to proceed. When I was with that wh other woman –

What fucking ‘other woman?’

You felt your face heating with rage as you read the beginning of that sentence over and over. The idea that Aemond – your husband – had been with another woman and was thinking about her after your wedding night was infuriating beyond belief.

Even after he insinuated you were unintelligent, or insulted your beloved robe, or walked away from you again and again, you had never been this angry.

You had more than half a mind to toss the godsdamned diary in the fire, storm into his rooms, yell at him a good deal, and demand answers from him directly. But when you stood and approached the hearth, you could not do it.

Aemond had trusted you with his diary, including this. He had marked this entry specifically as one he wanted you to read. Perhaps he simply hadn’t remembered what he wrote – no. He was too meticulous, this man who had started his diary precisely on the first day of the year.

He knew exactly what he wrote and wanted you to read it anyway.

So, after sitting back on the couch, you did.

When I was with that wh other woman, I did not look at her. Not there. I did not want to. But I regret that now.

I reached out to feel her, to try and find – I don’t know if it’s the whole thing, inside and out, that is the ‘cunt,’ or if it is just the hole – to try and find her entrance. That’s a better word.

She didn’t like it. She pulled away from me.

I thought it might be because my hands were cold, but I have never felt cold, so I warmed them before continuing. Which she did let me do! We actually apologised to each other at the same time. It was almost sweet. Or it would have been if I wasn’t such a fucking idiot.

I tried to go slow when entering her. I really thought I had gone slow. It certainly felt slow.

When I was all the way inside her, it felt like – she felt like…

Several drops of ink.

Warm. She was warm, like sitting only a few feet away from a fire.

And soft, softer than anything I’ve ever felt before.

I don’t know how to describe how – her tightness. Not so much that it was difficult to enter her. I didn’t have to force my way in. I never would. Yes, there was some resistance at first, but after a moment, it was just right. Perfect, even.

How could she be so different from the whore? When Aegon brought me the Street of Silk and presented me with a line of women he had selected himself, he said it didn’t matter which one I picked. ‘A cunt is a cunt,’ he said. ‘You must simply choose which drapes you prefer.’

They are not the same.

Is it just because I love her? Because I actually wanted her, as I didn’t want the whore?

You didn’t think any sentence containing the word ‘whore’ could you make you smile. This one did. According to Aemond, you were better than a whore – you were perfect.

And he loved you.

He hadn’t been cold and distant that night because he didn’t want to lie with you, but because he wanted to so badly that he forgot his senses.

As your smile grew, you buried your face in the diary, grounding yourself in the smell of parchment and dried ink.

A few moments ago, you were ready to storm into Aemond’s chamber and unleash your anger upon him. Now, he once again had you giggling like a silly little girl. What power did he hold over you that allowed merely his words to have such an effect on you?

One word floated through your mind like a leaf on a breeze. A dangerous word, one which frightened you far too much to give voice to. Even if only in your mind.

Instead, you swallowed it and laid the diary back on your lap.

I thought that feeling… that she might feel it too. The euphoria that came with release meant that – that it meant something. That maybe I was mistaken when I thought she was afraid of me.

But when I went to kiss her again, she did not look as happy as I felt. She still looked afraid. Afraid and confused, like she was expecting more. Like I was not enough.

I shouldn’t have done it, but I couldn’t face that look and what it meant. I can’t live in a world where she fears me. Where she does not want me as I want her.

I said that this marriage would only be a political arrangement, but I don’t want that anymore. I want more. I need more.

So, I left. I just… left.

If I were a man, I would go back there now. I would apologise and tell her that I loved her. That she is the most beautiful creature in the world and that I will do anything to make her happy.

But I am here, writing in this stupid fucking diary because I am too much a coward to face her.

I can’t just avoid her forever. She is my wife. I must see her again.

Thank the gods that we are not being sent on a royal progress. Not until we know for sure that the summer will last the year. But I will still see her. Tomorrow. She will be at court, at my side as my wife. And at dinner with the rest of the family.

Gods, what am I going to do?

Another stab in the page, this one not as fierce as the last.

I need help.

I’m sure Aegon is still at the feast if he hasn’t…

Not tonight. I am two days without rest, and I do not think I can restrain myself if Aegon makes untoward comments about her.

Tomorrow, I will ask for help. I have no other option.

I must see her smile again.

You ran your hand over the page, over the words that broke your heart again and again. As if in response, the pain in your stomach started once more. You reached for your teacup, only to find it empty.

Aemond’s diary fell from your lap as you sat up and leaned across the table to reach the teapot. It, too, was empty. “Damn,” you whispered.

Another pain came, accompanied by a sharp pang of hunger. Looking over to the window, you found the sun more than halfway across the sky. Had you really been reading for so long?

You wanted nothing more than to keep reading, but you knew hunger would only worsen the pain of your moon’s blood and possibly make you more likely to do something foolish, like go to Aemond before you had finished the diary.

So, you picked the journal up from the floor, marking your place with one of the green ribbons you had set aside, and stood.

Aemond’s words – his truths – would still be there after you ate and drank and perhaps called the Maester for something to ease your pain. For now, you would take some much-needed time to think through all you had read. All you had learned.

And you would write. While reading, you too often became caught in his words and neglected your own.

Aemond gave you his truth, so you would give him yours.

But after more raspberry tea. And a meat pie. And some tea cakes.

After all, he made you wait. Now it was his turn.

1K notes · View notes

velocesainz · 5 months

Text

Cinema

(CL16, CS55)

F1 masterlist | Main masterlist | Taglist

Summary: Charles is forced by Carlos to go watch an English movie with him at the theater since you are one of Carlos's best friends, he happens to take quite a liking to you not knowing Carlos's love for you. What will happen when you all of you meet at a house party?

Warnings: smuttyyyy (threesome) minors dni

Pairing: Charles x actress!reader x Carlos

Charles POV:

Carlos is currently in the process of dragging me to one of the biggest theatres in Maranello.

Why?

Because his best friend recently released a new film.

I'm offended that I'm not Carlos's best friend, and also I did not know that Carlos had a girl best friend let alone one who is an actress.

I looked her up on the way to the theatre and turns out she's one of the most famous actresses today and my oh my, was she beautiful.

We got to the theatre and Carlos got us some tickets and popcorn. He rushed me into the theatre and we sat down in our seats as we watched the movie: May December. (Guys please watch it's such a good movie)

That was one hard one to take, vet complex. Yet y/n's acting was perfect and I understood even the most complicated details.

"Mate she's such a good actress and so beautiful! Why haven't you told me about your "best friend" before?" I asked Carlos wondering why he had hidden y/n from my knowledge. As far as I knew we shared all our life stories with eachother.

Carlos shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "I don't know mate, I didn't want to tell you because I know you'd find her attractive. I've been in love with her for years and idk, you're someone that everyone easily seems to fall in love with" Carlos confessed. I wasn't so sure that I would be able to keep my hands off of her

"let's go mate, it's getting late" I said to ease the tension.

With that we left the theatre and got back to our hotel rooms. Tomorrow we had a small house party at Pierre's house in Milan so I knew I wouldn't get sleep the next day.

Timeskip

I dressed up for the party, throwing in a simple white button up with blue jeans pairing some jewelry along with it.

As I was driving to Pierre's house my mind wandered to y/n. Her acting skills were amazing and she was so immensely attractive. She had won golden globes and even an Oscar for her remarkable acting.

I arrived at the party realising I'm late as the place was completely packed with people, most of whom I didn't recognise.

I was looking for either Pierre or Carlos but as I was looking my eyes fell on a lean figure in the corner of the room. Y/n.

I walked up to her with my sudden, newly found confidence "hey! My name is Charles, I'm Pierre and Carlos's best friend. I'm a huge fan of your acting" she looked at me wide eyed. Shit. Did I ramble?

"Oh hey! I'm honoured to have you as one of my fans, good to know Carlos has replaced me" she said chuckling. Oh thank god, I thought I fucked up my only chance.

I chatted with y/n for some time until someone came up to us.

"Hola mis mejores amigos" the person said, I froze. It was Carlos.

"hola Carlitos, estaba hablando con el apuesto caballero con el que me reemplazaste" Hello Carlitos, I was just talking to the handsome gentleman you replaced me with.

She spoke in perfect Spanish, god her accent was so hot.

Carlos and her exchanged a few words and then turned to involve me as well into the conversation. How nice of Carlos.

I saw that she spoke french as one of her native languages and decided to take advantage of the fact that Carlos didn't understand a word of French.

"Si jolie fille. Veux-tu retourner dans ma chambre d'hôtel ? Je peux te montrer un bon moment" So pretty girl. Do you want to go to my hotel? I can show you a good time.

She blushed hard, her cheeks turning bright red. Carlos pulled me aside.

"What are you doing mate? I told you I like her and you're going on trying to sleep with her?" Carlos said. How did he understand what I said.

"Carlos she's not your to have. If you want we can share, I see the way she looks at you as well. She likes the both of us, let's show her a good time." I suggested

Carlos nodded and walked back to y/n whispering something in her ear causing her to blush again, got was she beautiful.

All three of us got in my car and drove to my hotel.

As soon as we got there Carlos threw y/n against the wall and started kissing her

I traced her curves with my hands, pressing up behind her. I was sure she could feel my arousal on her ass.

She ogled at Carlos's body before her. I hooked my fingers in the waistband of her linen pants, leaning forward to pepper kisses on her right shoulder. Y/n reached up under the shoulders of Carlos’s shirt and pushed the fabric away. The shirt flowed off his arms, falling to the floor. He reached forward, cupping y/n's cheek before kissing her again.

My kisses on her skin flowed down her back, teeth nipping at her hips through her panties as I slid her pants down.

Carlos POV:

Charles kneeled behind y/n once the material pooled at her feet, kissing upward. I massaged one of her breasts through her bra. Charles stood up to his complete form, kissing her shoulder once more as his hand swept across your skin to her panties.

I felt Charles’s hand slip beneath the material of her panties and graze her clit, going to feel the wetness between her folds. The kiss was broken as a moan left her lips, back arching into Charles. I chuckled looking at how worked up she was.

She squirmed between me and Charles, reaching forward and gripping my shoulder for support.

Charles POV

I had y/n on her toes as I fingered her lazily as if I was playing the piano. She let out soft pants, not giving us the satisfaction of hearing how good we made her feel. We'll make sure those noises come out.

My hand fell to her side as she undid my belt, leaning forward to kiss the flesh softly. Herr fingers slipped the button free, teeth nipping at my right hip. My breath hitched, chest rising and falling as she slowly pulled the zipper down. Y/n reached in, purposefully grazing the obvious erection in my underwear before tugging the jeans down.

“Fucking hell” I breathed, pulling away from her. Her hands brushed my thighs as I stepped away. She grinned at me, knowing that she got underneath my skin.

Carlos was watching the whole thing with his arms crossed and shot me a smile. As soon as I was yanking my jeans and underwear off, Carlos quickly undid his belt and jeans.

“Fuck, I am the luckiest woman in the fucking world,” She breathed, toes curling and eyes almost rolling into the back of her head at the sight of the me and Carlos naked before her. Carlos laid horizontally across the bed. His head was slightly close to the edge. He looked at yher, patting his chest.

“Come have a seat,” Carlos suggested calling y/n over. Carlos pulled her down with no warning, tongue immediately delving within you. She cried out as his tongue circled her clit. She reached forward, gripping my forearm. I waited for her to adjust, in awe at the sight of her. She looked so fucking hot and bothered.

“Ch-Charles, let me, please,” she pleaded me, reaching forward with her free hand and wrapping it around my cock. I widened my eyes, fuck that felt so good. I walked a little more forward. Her gaze was innocent despite her lips wrapping around the tip of my cock. I groaned loudly grabbing her hair. God she was doing so good.

Carlos POV:

I moved to suck on her clit, slipping away one of my hands from her thigh and pressing a finger between her wet folds. She moaned on Charles’s cock, causing him to pull a breath through his teeth. I gently brought my finger in and out of her, adding another.

I continued sucking her clit and I could feel that she was getting close. Her moans grew louder and louder.

“Carlos, please,” she begged, god I needed her so badly.

I stopped pleasuring her and got her off my face guiding her to the edge of the bed.

Charles walked to his dresser removing two condoms and passing me one.

“Thanks, mate,” I said quietly. We both ripped the packaging and slipped the condoms on.

“Come here, cariño,” I said to her. She came to me leaning down and kissing me as she planted a knee on each side of my body. I gladly returned the kiss, one hand on her back, the other lining my cock up with her entrance. The kiss deepened as she allowed me to fill her to the brim.

Second person POV:

Charles watched the both of you, aroused by the scene and watching Carlos fill you with ease. He stepped between Carlos’s parted legs, touching your lower back. He caressed the flesh of your ass, causing you to pull away from Carlos’s kisses and watch Charles. He took himself in his left hand, shifting to level before slowly entering you from behind. Your eyes rolled back, toes curling, and cunt clenching around Carlos as Charles entered you.

Both men gave you a moment to adjust; the sensation wasn’t new, but it was always slightly alarming initially. Charles leaned forward to kiss your shoulder before straightening back, waiting for the cue. You nodded aggressively, eyes squeezed shut as you clutched Carlos’s shoulders. Carlos kissed your temple before both men moved together, Carlos thrusting up into you and Charles’s thrusts pushing you forward. You moaned, ready to come apart right there.

They were slow at first, continuing to let you adjust like the gentlemen they were. Then, when the only noise you made was panting, they changed their pace, their hips snapping against you. You moaned, back arching, which pushed you further into Carlos. Carlos’s hands gripped your hips, fingers digging into your flesh that you knew would leave a mark behind. Charles’s grip was a little looser than Carlos’s on your waist but would still leave faint marks behind.

The pace they set quickly brought you closer and closer to an orgasm, the sensations of both pumping in and out of you overwhelming your body. Carlos thrust up, hips lifting off the bed, and a spot inside you that made you see stars. You gasped, clutching his bicep to the point your nails dug in. The sound of panting and your moans echoed throughout the room, all three bodies glistening with a thin layer of sweat.

“Fuck!” you cried out, soon feeling the tension in your core snap. You squeezed around Carlos, the tightening of your walls pulling him with you, causing his lips to stutter and his grip to tighten. Despite fucking you from behind, the tension of your orgasm was enough to bring Charles to his climax. He rode through his orgasm, slowing his pace until he stopped.

You fell on Carlos, not caring if your full weight was on him. Both of you were a panting, sweating mess. He removed a hand from your waist, running his fingers through his hair. He laid his head back, staring at the ceiling as he tried to get his breathing down to normal. Charles leaned over you, panting, but he kissed your spine. You hummed softly, weakly glancing back at Charles. Your eyes met, and he offered you a gentle smile, rubbing your back before he removed himself from you.

Charles walked to the ensuite bathroom, going to quickly clean up before he joined the both of you in bed. Carlos tilted his head up, stroking your back before gently patting your bum. You sighed, sitting up and letting him hold the condom before you removed yourself. Carlos leaned over, moving some hair that stuck to the sweat on your forehead. He gave it a gentle kiss, stroking your hair in the process.

Charles quickly returned, picking you up from the end of the bed. Carlos stood up and went to the bathroom, patting Charles on the shoulder. He carried you bridal style to his side of the bed, kneeling to place you in the middle before laying down next to you. You lay on your back, staring at the ceiling until Charles was beside you. Your head turned to meet his eyes, a soft smile on both faces. He stroked your hair, and you gently caressed his thigh and knee and all three of you fell asleep.

#charles leclerc x reader #carlos sainz x reader #f1 smut #f1 x reader #formula 1 #formula one #f1 #charles leclerc #carlos sainz #charles leclerc smut #carlos sainz smut

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multiverse-sparkles · 1 year

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Loving him was never enough — B. Barnes.

summary: you allow yourself to feel the loss and the hurt of his betrayal— but after this, you promise yourself; no more. this time, you leave bucky barnes. this time, you put yourself first.

pairings: bucky barnes x reader

warnings: cheating, ANGST, more angst, allusions to pregnancy, cursing.

part 2 to this

the party was in full swing downstairs; another celebration for a reason you no longer bothered to remember. from the third year of your marriage, banquets and gatherings were a part of your week, either with your husband's business associates or simply just friends getting together for the sake of appearances, it was a chore itself to try and keep up with the latest reason for a celebration of such caliber.

yet you have always played your part well; smiling, cheering, and raising toast when needed be. you've also perfected the charade of a loving husband and wife, sharing ocassional whispers and laughter, perhaps even a lingering kiss; and sometimes, they were welcomed. sometimes, you do feel the tenderness as he gazes at you. you feel the butterflies whenever he would whisper something cheesy on your ears. even the touch of his lips upon yours were enough to renew hope, until, come another day.

but recently, you've only ever been feeling the heavy weight of dread on the pit of your stomach. something ominous, something akin to resentment ; an emotion you've never entertained, despite his numerous indescretions. his blatant disregard for the sanctity of your marriage has finally caught up with you.

bucky finally exhausted your love.

because as you stared at him, in his act of something so sinful, molding his body with another woman, fucking into her with wild abandon; it was like a bucket of cold water has drenched you.

you were suddenly all too aware of your surroundings, and your grip on the knob loosened, only enough to close the door back again.

the frames rattled, the occupants of the bed stilled, and only the patter of drifting footsteps filled the silence.

the same time bucky's blood ran cold in his veins.

you slept in what felt like, the best ten fucking hours of rest; awaking with the bright sun peaking from the spaces of the curtain, even the birds chirping happily, and for the first time in a really long time, you woke up with a contented sigh.

you were back in your old home, it's much smaller in size, and comparatively less luxurious than the estate you lived in, but it was home. and it was yours. something that could never be tethered to the man you called your husband.

automatically, you checked your phone for emails; several missed calls and text messages from bucky himself were what welcomed you, yet you opted to ignore them, instead checking in with your close friend and one of new york's finest; andy barber.

barber: will you be free to come to the office at around ten? i can discuss your options, and we'll have to go through the paperwork to sort out whatever you need to do.

barber: also, while we're at it; i'm proud of you.

for what felt like hours, but couldn't have been more than ten minutes, you thought back to your back and forth correspondence the night prior— thinking, had you really made the decision to leave him? was it real this time?

could you live without him?

you'd pondered about the prospect most of your marriage, ultimately coming to a conclusion that it was difficult to eject james out of your system. he was your entire world and existing without him was a thought that couldn't even exist in your orbit. and ultimately; can you really live the rest of your life, chained to a man so warped up in his own selfishness without making the effort to actually consider what you may be feeling?

can you continously gaslight yourself into thinking that he loved you; in his own, twisted way. that he was only so weak of a man to deny the temptations and wants of his flesh— were you not so tired, and broken down by his false promises, that you ache, deep in your soul.

when will you realize that the only person who deserves unlimited forgiveness was yourself, and not the man who promised you forever; but stomped and ran over the tattered pieces of your heart.

your hand touched upon your stomach, a protective instinct blaring noisily in your head; you have not only yourself to think about now.

years of trying had not once bore to fruiton until now— you wipe the hot tears streaming down your face, a sob echoing in the stilness of the room. why was your love so cruel to you? why was it that you had let things go this far with a person such as james?

you cry out. torn and heart wrenching cries as you let yourself feel the years of betrayal, and heartache, promising yourself that this will be the last.

soon.. you hope; soon, you will no longer cry for him.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x fem!reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes

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evangelic-echo · 29 days

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ℭ𝔢𝔩𝔢𝔰𝔱𝔦𝔞𝔩 𝔓𝔲𝔫𝔦𝔰𝔥𝔪𝔢𝔫𝔱

Part 1:

Teaser< >Part 2

Walking down the streets of heaven, sipping on a cold drink through the straw as you held a folder filled with boring paperwork you had filled out only just this morning. For the past week you've been dealing with all types of bullshit from the humans that you're trying to repair since your absence from Earth. Ever since Lucifer decided to give mankind the “gift” of free will, your job has become a lot more difficult than before.

“Thanks for the Luci”

Sera requested a meeting with you which isn’t too surprising. As the high Seraphim she was your supervisor, and she always seemed to want to bitch about one thing or another to you with her new found authority. Taking a final sip from your drink before throwing it away in a near by bin, you moved the huge folder from one hand to the next as you walked into the huge, pearlescent building in front of you.

“It’s nice to see you’re not late for once Y/N.”

You looked up at the huge Seraphim before you as you simply replied with a hum. After the whole ‘Lucifer making Eve eat the apple incident,’ Sera made sure to keep her distain towards you evident. Obviously making it clear that she blames you for the whole ordeal.

“I called you up here today to review a certain case l’m having trouble with-”

As sera was Talking the office door behinds you slams shut, interrupting the Angel before you. You look behind to see Emily, cringing as she looks back at the source of the loud noise, then look back in your direction and she smiles and waves at you.

“Sorry for interrupting, I just wanted to overlay the massage that everything’s ready”

She beats her wings to fly closer to her sister, quickly whispering something in her ear. Furrowing your eyebrows as you look back and forth between them. Sure, Sera has always has some sort is stigma towards you and always makes it a point to tell you things last minute, or hell never tell you things at all. But you could tell there was a lot more to this meeting as she was letting on, honestly making you a little more nervous than you’d like to admit.

Turning back to face you Sera gives Emily another glance before resuming to what she was saying.

“Y/N, as you may of heard. The princess of Hell was up here in heaven as Lucifer, her father demanded that she pitch a certain idea of hers”

Sera pauses as to see your possible reaction to her bringing up an old friend of yours, acting as though his name curses whoever’s tongue dare speaks his name. You raise your eyebrows in response, signalling that she should continue.

“She has some sort of idea that sinners down in hell can be redeemed through the means of this ‘Hazbin Hotel’ she’s been building. We discussed it in court but it was decided that sinners in fact, can’t be redeemed and with that she was sent back down to hell.”

“Hm, you mean the same heavenly court where it was revealed that Adam’s Exorcist go down to hell once a year to exterminate sinners? I’m also assuming you mean the same court I wasn’t invited to but yet, l’m possibly the best person who could of been there as I work with those human souls 24/7 and know the most about these kind of things more than anyone else in that court? Yes I think I know exactly which one you’re talking about.”

You keep making eye contact with the Seraphim in front of you even after finishing your rant. She glares back at you, looking down then back up to your face as you still keep that same glare towards her.

“I think we both know why you weren’t welcome to sit in that court session, who knows how you’d react. Especially when you allow your emotions to drive you so.”

Your wings ruffle behind you, signalling you were fed up with Sera’s constant condescension towards you. You slightly fidget in your seat as your glare doesn’t budge from her face.

“I would’ve loved to meet the daughter of an old friend of mine. I’m not surprised you think of me so low and pathetic that you think I’ll have a tantrum by every little thing associated with him.”

“I also think it’s pathetic that you still think of him as a friend of yours, after everything he’s still done you see him as a pure little angel who’s done nothing wrong”

Leaning further back on the chair you were sat on, you crossed your leg on top of the other as you grinned up at the unnecessarily tall woman in front of you.

“If anything Sera, that proves I’ve moved on. I don’t allow hatred to control my feelings anymore, I suggest you don’t either.”

You had to admit that you were slightly lying to the Angel as you spoke those words, as you’d be a hypocrite if you weren’t, but it was worth it for that look on her face. Finally humbling her from that high horse of hers.

“Hellooo, I am the great Ssir Pentious~ It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance~”

You looked down at the weird snake man before you as he bowed his head towards the ground, tilting your head to the side in confusion. This is what Sera was so worried about? Looking back to the Seraphim’s who lead you here to try and get a little bit more information.

“Sir Pentious here is a ‘former’ demon from hell, who has apparently been redeemed through Charlie’s Hotel and has now, been sent up here in heaven.”

Your demeanour completely changes from one of uninterested to one of astonishment. Looking between the two sisters however, the totally different attitudes upon their faces told two very different stories. Sera of course couldn’t have looked more unamused with the situation even if she tried, Emily however looked ecstatic about the evidence of redemption, her hands clasping together in front of her chest as her wide smile and bulging eyes take over her features.

“This is a great day for Heaven and for Hell! We finally have evidence that redemption is indeed possible and now reason to stop those brutal exterminations, right Sera?”

Sera looks at her sister with a completely different demeanour than before, making herself seem for hopeful about the situation at hand.

“Of course Emily! Me and Y/N here will deal with it immediately, but I suggest for now you handle matters that your assistance a lot more than this one.”

You frowned while looking at the younger Seraphim, though her smile never fading from her features. She must be too excited of the news that she couldn’t hear the dishonesty in her older sisters voice.

With Emily now out of the room, Sera went back to looking uninterested as she did before, her focus now landing back on you and the former sinner besides you.

“Watching you lie to your poor sister is honestly disheartening Sera, dear Emily has a point. If redemption is now indeed possible, there is no need for the exterminations to continue-”

“That absolutely is not an option in this situation. Yes we now have proof that redemption is possible but that doesn’t differ us from the fact that hell may be planning an uproar against us, against heaven.”

Taken aback by the interruption, you turn your focus over to the former sinner beside you, noticing the awkward feeling he’s emitting from himself.

“If I may I assure you-”

“No you may not”

Sera now all riled up and irritated, springs her wings out from behind her as her angelic form starts to poke through from her annoyance. In response the man yelps and he steps behind you for safety from that death piercing gaze of hers, which then travel over to you.

Her wings retract back in towards her but the eyes now littered across her body remain where they are.

“I except you to deal with this matter Y/N, you constantly complain I do not give you the benefit of the doubt, you can use this as an opportunity to prove me wrong and maybe make up for your wrong doings from the past.”

Now you knew you absolutely had no choice in the matter, saying no wasn’t an option at all. But knowing the fact that all she wanted to do was just push all her mistakes onto you to fix was absolutely aggravating. However, keeping yourself calm was best for right now.

Nodding back to the woman as your response, she took that as her cue to leave, not seeing anymore reason to stay in this helpless situation.

As the door closed shut, the serpent who had been holding onto your shoulder for safeguarding had finally found it appropriate to let go after muttering an apology.

At least he was well mannered.

You turned to him offering a comforting smile. He’s probably been so confused for the past hour he’s been in heaven, and by God could you say he hasn’t gotten the normal, outgoing introduction normal new residents are greeted with when spawning at heavens great golden gates. Though you can admit his situation is quite different than others, you can sense his soul is worthy than every other soul up here in heaven among him.

You extend your arms, motioning him to sit at the table near by. He follows your direction and sits as you sat along side him, summoning a pen and notebook with your magic.

“Now if you don’t mind, I have some questions.”

A/N: AAAA THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR THE LIKES AND FOLLOWS FROM THE LAST POST🫶🫶🫶 You don’t know how much it means to me knowing that even just 50 people liked this new idea I’m exploring and I am so very grateful 🙏 .

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fallinfl0wers · 2 years

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i love you more than you'll ever know

fandom: genshin impact characters: albedo, venti, zhongli, xiao, wanderer reader type: gender neutral summary: yearning for someone came hand in hand with heartache. genre: angst and fluff, hurt/comfort. warnings: implied reader's death, also implied character death (xiao and wanderer kinda uh want to unlive themselves but not explicitly? i think?), mourning, slight sumeru spoilers for wanderer's. written as of 3.2 update. notes: inspired by hikaru utada's one last kiss. might do a part two, not sure when it'll be ready haha. xiao's and wanderer's are longer because i love them and i was feeling sadder as i wrote them so lol there they are. i'm sleepy but i wanted to finish these... i'll see if theres anything i need to edit tomorrow.

The meaning of this world, the truth of this world, Albedo thinks, is held within your hands. It is perhaps not the one he was looking for, or the one he had been expected to find, but personally? He would take this as the truth of the world.

Love is the truth of this world, the meaning of all sentient existence. The love one takes and gives, selflessly yet selfish al the same. The kind of love one feels from friends and family and lovers. Love is what really gives the world a meaning for those who live in it.

And for him, it is your love that fills his life with a new meaning.

Love that made him step away from experiments and investigation to take a stroll through the city, love that made him blush and giggle, love that brought a foreign yet sweet warm sensation to his chest, love that you held within your hands every time your fingers intertwined.

Love that somehow, with no reasoning or explanation, survived through all the uncertainty of fate, and the undeniable, unescapable cycle of life and death.

When your and Albedo's story is forced to come to a stop, he won't deny he felt his whole world came crashing down. Yet, more than anything, he feels grateful.

Perhaps at that time, he still would not find the truth of the world his master wanted him to. But one thing is for sure, and that's because of you, and everything you taught him.

If time and chance allow it, his love for you will be immortalized in paintings exhibited in museums; depictions of you and him, and you, you, you and you. Even when he, himself, has long since disappeared, that last trace of your love, of the truth of his world, will be preserved.

For Venti, freedom is everything. He would never tie you down so you could stay with him, even if that is what he would want the most. However, that also means he will not stop you if you, of your own free will, decide to spend the rest of your life with him.

He is selfish, just not selfish enough to decide what is best for you in your stead. This is why, he wholeheartedly decides to love you back without holding anything back, living each day like it is the last, enjoying the present doing anything and everything and nothing all at the same time.

It's ballads and tales, it's drinking and laughing at his silly shenanigans when he gets drunk, it's enjoying the breezes as you glide together and resting on the green hills and valleys of Mondstadt together, every day something new, every day a new memory to keep.

But, he knows, this won't last.

He is very well acquainted with loss, and the fragility of human life.

That is why he insisted on spending so much time together, it is why he was always clingy whenever the timing was right, why he insisted on making you laugh and smile every single day you were together.

The years spent together may seem long to you, even as you took your final breath. Yet, for him, it truly felt like it had been merely the blink of an eye. A momentary sigh, a brief instant of happiness.

Venti will sing ballads of you, for an audience of people or the always reliable, always present audience of the winds. And he knows that, even once his days come to an end, and until the end of this world, your love will be preserved, for eternities to come.

There is, after all, no world where the wind doesn't blow, even if it has come to an stop.

For Zhongli, contracts are everything. In his eyes, promises made are promises kept, and that is precisely what he does.

To you, he promised his love. For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, in life and death. In his own experience and words, everything must come to an end and every journey has its final day, but there is no need to rush. This is why, he never makes it a point to consciously think about the clock mercilessly ticking by as you spend your life with him.

Zhongli, the human, lives with you and shares countless experiences after experiences with you. From the simplest glance to the longest conversation to the harshest of arguments to the sweetest of kisses, Zhongli makes sure to live it with you, in the present moment, mind focused on here and now, carving each memory into his heart with the same precision an artist would carve a statue out of the finest jade.

The former god understands and accepts your mortality, and accepts it as a part of what makes you be who you are. He accepts it, and holds your hand, ever so resilient, as you take your last breaths, and bids you goodbye with a grateful smile and teary eyes.

Perhaps the legends of the mighty God of Contracts will never talk about your love, but even if there is no one left to share your memories with him, until erosion eventually claims him too, his heart won't stop beating for you.

Xiao would be lying if he said he never once doubted your sanity in the time he's known you. After all, why would you do something so terrible to yourself like willingly spending time with him? You must've been insane, he thought.

But, in reality, he was glad you were that little bit insane enough to open a space for him in your life.

From the very start, he's known you wouldn't be there forever. He is all too aware of how fragile life is, of how ephemeral you truly are. Like the sweetest of dreams, you feel like a fragile illusion of happiness that will be gone in the blink of an eye. Oh, but you are real, you are oh so real, and he knows it when you cradle his face with your hands and gently wipe the tears that silently fall down from his tired eyes that stare ahead, filled with complicated emotions, on a face far too unused to emoting, on a body far too small for the true amount of feelings that resided within it.

And he is quiet but his mind is loud, keeps him hyper aware of how short these moments of joy and peace are with you. And, although he would've never blamed you if you ever decided to leave him of your own will, he is glad you never did, he is glad that you would never do so. He is glad that you decided to spend your days with him, glad you were patient enough to wait for him to learn how to properly love you, glad you let him love you.

The days spent with you are easily the best fragment of Xiao's life. Short-lived, ephemeral, dreamlike, everything. Unforgettable.

He would like to keep you forever. His most selfish, impossible dream is for you to stay forever by his side. Greedy he is, but never enough to burden you with such thoughts. Instead, he took every opportunity he had to spend time with you, no matter what you were doing, he wanted to be there, even if it was in a place he didn't like, he didn't want to waste a single second of your life.

When you depart from the world of the living, a part of him leaves with you.

And, Xiao knew when he fell in love. You would be the death of him.

He won't last long after you leave.

He'll do his best to live, because he knows you would want him to live, but he truly won't be able to do so for long.

Legends will speak of the tragically beautiful love that Liyue's last Yaksha had towards a human, speak of how he learned how to be human for love, of how his love was so intense and pure it was the only thing that kept him tied to the world of the living for years to come.

And when Xiao's time comes, he smiles as he sheds tears and looks up at the infinite blue sky.

When the light leaves his eyes, and his last breath is a sweet proclamation of his everlasting love for you, he knows.

He will see you in another life, in another world.

It took him three betrayals to finally understand: the world is an elaborated tapestry of lies.

It took him pain and humiliation, having his one purpose taken away, for him to understand: just because you want something, that does not mean you will get it. No matter what you do, if the world decides you won't have it, then you won't.

Receiving kindness from the dendro archon was and the blessing of an anemo vision were some of the things that set him on the right path to find his true wishes on his own, but most importantly, your existence in his life made something inside him turn and twist. You filled him with an achingly bittersweet yearning to love and be loved, you made him want to trust, made him willing to endure pain and betrayal if it meant he could spend eternity with you.

Eternity, the concept that his creator was (or still is, he wouldn't know) so obsessed with, obsessed with enough to discard him like worthless dross and abandon him to fend for himself with no instructions or expectations. Now, Wanderer felt as though he could understand her just a bit.

Or maybe a lot.

Eternity stretches things over a long time, but each moment within it becomes all the more fragile.

Nevertheless, when he had you, when you loved him, he finally understood why his mother was so desperate back then to attain eternity. He, too, when affronted with the harsh reality that you and your comforting warmth would not be around for long, desperately wished for a miracle to happen so he could stay forever with you. You living forever or him going with you once you left, he cared not, he only wanted you you you you and nothing else.

But, as he discovered, after long periods of anger and denial over painful feelings, acceptance is sure to come.

You are not like him in the slightest. Born human, with a heart of your own, knowing kindness and happiness from people around you, while his body was just a mere imitation of human flesh, an empty husk unfit for the only task he was created to perform. Yet, you still loved him as though he was not an easily replaceable abomination, but a human.

After you're gone, he cries the most he's ever cried. Rests his head on your chest that has long since stopped moving up and down with your breathing while his ears are met with silence when before he would listen to your comforting heartbeat, and he cries.

It will be long before the life of the Wanderer comes to an end- after all, he was created to endure an eternity functioning. Every dawn and every sunset, every passing breeze and station, he will remind the days you were together, and smile, as the empty space in his chest weeps silently, waiting, longing, hoping there exists a day in which he can meet you again.

For now, now that you're not with him anymore, he would simply keep walking, chasing the breeze that blows on a bright afternoon.

fallinfl0wers. 2022.

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kingtomura · 2 months

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Deja Vu | 1 | January Embers

summary: Your best friend died years ago. He went up in flames until there was nothing left — so why does it feel like you can still see him sometimes? content: touya todoroki x female reader, childhood friends au, reader has a quirk, time skipping, flashbacks, fluff, heavy angst, bullying, eventual smut, eventual meaning next chapter, soft touya, hurt/comfort, tragedy, mdni wc: 4.5k | Chapter 2 | m. list | read on ao3

You meet Touya Todoroki when you are four years old.

He was a redhot firecracker that demanded the attention of you and all those around him.

Touya Todoroki was also the first in your class to have his quirk maifest. It was the talk for about a week, everyone expecting nothing less from the son of the flame hero, Endeavor, himself.

You would watch him some days, flaunting his newfound power on the playground in front of others, knowing he would be some great hero one day. Even better than All Might, he would yell to anyone that would listen. It was a decent dream, you believed. Maybe someone could actually be better than All Might.

It didn’t seem like that would be in the cards for you, as it became more apparent as the days went by that you may not have a quirk. The excitement of watching every other child’s quirk manifest began to fill you with a pit of dread.

Quirkless.

It’s something you never thought you would have to think about. The realization hadn’t caught up with the rest of your class yet and you could only thank the stars.

But it was only a matter of time before a group of three noticed.

They cornered you while you tried drawing shapes in the sanded area of the playground.

“Hey,” one kid dragged, horns proudly peeking out of his head. “What’s goin’ on with you?”

You spared him a glance before going back to your sand, gliding the stick you found through the yellow grains. “What do you mean?”

One girl behind him pipes up, curly pigtails bouncing with the tilt of her head, “Where’s your quirk? Aren’t you turning five soon?”

The emphasis on five makes you jolt a little and you try to play it off — offering a little shrug to the trio. “I dunno. Mom says I'm a late bloomer.” you pray they will be satisfied with your answer and leave you alone.

The third kid finally speaks, sporting a new pair of bat-like wings. “No way, I bet you’re gonna be quirkless!”

The other children erupt in a loud laugh that calls the attention of your other classmates — much to your dismay.

“That’s so sad for you!” the girl yelled, grin on her face showing not an ounce of pity.

“Yeah, really!” The first boy laughs, taking a step forward and kicking the sand you were drawing in towards you, effectively ruining your picture and your day.

You go to stand, brushing the sand off of your dress before the girl rushes forward to push you, sending you down to land flat on your bottom. Your bottom lip wobbled as you tried to hold back the tears and humiliation threatening to spill over and out.

The bat-winged boy pointed to you, “Look, guys, she’s gonna cry!” Yelling out to anyone who could hear, only causing you to dip your head in shame, now unable to stop the warm tears from trailing down your cheeks.

And you thought today couldn’t get any worse.

“Hey! Knock it off!” You hear a voice yell, familiar. “Flashfire fist!”

You feel the heat before you see it, hot and swift.

The screams make you look up. Its Touya, red hair and fist aflame, standing in front of you and effectively blocking you from the trio of bullies before.

“Ouch, Touya! You could have really hurt us!” the girl with pigtails cried, holding her own wrist as tears flowed freely down her cheeks.

The boy who kicked sand at you spoke up next, voice wavering on the verge of tears as well, “Yeah, you jerk!”

Touya shrugged, flames dissipating and points a finger at them, “I don't care. Bullies’ feelings dont matter!”

You could only stare with wet lashes as the trio ran off — no doubt to tell the teacher. Touya didn’t seem to mind, as a matter of fact he seemed proud as he turned to you and reached out a hand to help you up. He was all smiles and warm eyes, “Are you alright?”

You take his hand, noting how warm it still was from his previous quirk use and nod, “Mhm, thank you.”

“It’s no problem,” he helped you to your feet before continuing, his smile almost blinding, “I’m Touya Todoroki, the next number one hero.”

You nod and introduce yourself, cheeks warm and smile dancing across your face. His mood is infectious. “Nice to meet you, Touya, next number one hero.”

Later that day you realize Touya does get in trouble for improper quirk use and can’t help but apologize.

“It’s fine!” He returns, not bothered in the slightest. “I’d do it again and again, if I had to.”

After the incident Touya insisted on being by your side the rest of the day. During lunch, arts and crafts and even nap time. He would go where you would go and you couldn’t say you minded. Once school had finished for the day and it was time to break apart Touya insisted you both hang out more.

Even going as far as to introduce himself to your parents as they came to pick you up.

His foot tapped in excitement as he told them about your days and how you should hang out more.

That’s how you both find yourselves in some forest on the weekend, walking together through the fresh snow, because Touya just had to show you this cool training spot.

“But, don't you think we’re going too far, Touya?” You ask, nerves trembling as you look around the forest. You wouldn’t know your way back without him and you’ve never been this far out alone.

“No,” he singsongs, “C’mon– don't be such a baby,”

You puff your cheeks, running to catch up with him, “Don’t call me that, but okay!”

He grabs your hand once you are by his side and it's warm. Touya is always warm.

“We’re almost there, anyway!”

This special place looked the same as any other place in these woods, but you wouldn’t let Touya know. He’s so excited to show you what he came to do.

“My dad and I train here sometimes.” He starts, smiling as he backs away from you to show you a flame in his hand. “He thinks my flames will be hotter than his one day.”

You can’t hide the way your eyes fill with sadness as you look to the ground.

“I don’t think I’m gonna get a quirk, Touya.”

The boy’s smile drops instantly, as he rushes over to you, taking your face in his tiny hands. Still so warm, like always.

“Hey, don’t say that! Maybe you aren't trying the right things.” He dips behind you before you could turn to stop him, “Maybe you can see in the dark!” His hypothesis being tested by covering your eyes.

You bite back a laugh, “No, Touya, I don't think it works like that.”

The boy lets you go and runs to a rather large, fallen log – climbing atop it and looking down to you. “Well, maybe you can fly. Have you tried that?”

You shake your head, unable to hide the worry in your face. Touya was up pretty high. “Hey… you shouldn’t be up that far.”

“What do you mean? It’s fine!” he reassures, continuing his musing while walking along the fallen log. “Besides, it’s not like I'm clumsy or anything—!”

The boy’s words were cut short by his shoe stepping down and slipping on the ice below it, sending him crashing down to the patch of snow and debris below.

In that moment, your hand shoots out before you can think and there’s ringing in your ears. Your eyes squeezed shut as you wait for the impending crash. But it doesn’t come.

You slowly open your eyes and see… Touya. He’s okay. Better than okay because he’s floating above the snowy patch of grass below, debris and everything brushed away. Your hand is still out as you meet Touya's wide eyes.

“Whoa!” You finally pull your hand back and watch his feet gently touch the grass below. “Dude, you have mind powers! So cool!”

You will your breathing to go back to normal as you take in the new information. You do have a quirk. All hope was not lost.

The feeling of warm liquid creeping down your nostril catches your attention. Bringing a finger to your nose, you pull back and see the crimson drop. Blood. The sound of Touya’s steps through the snow breaks your focus.

“Hey, what happened? You're bleeding.” He takes your finger in his hand, red brows furrowed and cerulean eyes filled with worry.

You shrug, taking your hand back and wiping your nose with your sleeve, unaware of the tiny smear of blood you left across your face. “I dunno. I’m not hurt, though.”

At this, Touya smiles, bringing his own hand to your face to wipe the remainder of what you smeared. “You better not be! We’re gonna be heroes together — you and me!”

It’s so infectious, the way he lights up with a smile, you can’t help but return it. “Yeah, we sure will.”

—----------------

The first time you think you see Touya it’s while you are on your way home from the bustling area of downtown.

The shops are crowded with people trying to get their last minute gifts for the holidays and you promised your parents you would be home hours ago. It’s a flash – so quick you almost miss it.

Almost.

Through the crowd there's a glint of white hair and blue eyes. You stop, sending the people behind you nearly barrolling into your backside and profusely apologize, half heartedly hearing their grumbles as you make your way through the flurry of people.

The snow white hair is a little further ahead, but you can see bits and pieces where the sea of heads will naturally move.

Was that…

It couldn’t be. Your heart picks up as you nearly chase your way through, mumbling faint excuse me’s and pardon me’s to those around you as you lock onto the moving person. It's becoming harder to keep up and you break out in a light sprint.

The person takes a sharp left into an alley and you follow behind, only to be met with the emptiness of a damp back alley.

There was no way it could be him. Your mind was playing tricks on you.

You shake your head, hoping you could physically shake those thoughts from your brain and turn to head home. It had been a long day.

There is a battle raging in your mind — one that you are not sure is formed from grief or from anxiety. it is an all consuming inferno of blackened dust in your heart and you cannot stop yourself when you bring it up to Fuyumi.

You both have been sitting in silence for a while, wrapping gifts for the upcoming holidays. She has been in her own little world, humming christmas tunes, while you have been in a fit of inner turmoil.

“Hey, Fuyumi,” you start, instantly catching her attention in the otherwise quiet home.

“Hm?”

Your nerves are eating your confidence and you start to second guess yourself. Only the warmth in her gray eyes gives you the resolve to continue. “Something weird happened at the market the other day.”

She tilts her head, flowing ponytail following the direction, “What’s that?”

“I was walking and,” you stall — unsure if bringing up your friend's dead brother before the holidays would be a good move. “I swear, I thought I saw Touya. It was a flash, but the guy had his white hair and,” unwanted tears are blurring your vision, “and his eyes were so much like Touya’s i don't—” you're choking up, tears fighting their way through your throat, “I thought i was going crazy.”

Surprisingly, Fuyumi takes it well, reaching a hand out to touch your shoulder, a comforting motion you’ve grown to know over the years.

“Hey, it’s okay. That could have been anyone, you know?” She smiles, and it’s bittersweet like the flowers at a funeral, “it’s the holiday season so everyone is out right now.”

You nod, reluctant, but logical. “Yeah, yeah you’re right. It was pretty crowded in that area.” the tears would force their way through your resistance whether you fought them or not, so you give up – letting them flow down your cheeks. “I’m sorry for bringing it up, Fuyumi.”

“No, it's okay! Don't worry about it." She looks to the side. “It’s only been three years since it happened, and the anniversary of his death is coming up too. It's harder around this time of year. For all of us.”

You can only nod as Fuyumi brings you into a tight hug. Your resolve melted away in her arms as you cried, it felt like things would never get easier.

A life without Touya wasn’t a life you could see yourself living happily in.

You wished and prayed for him everyday — unwilling to believe your best friend was really truly gone. It felt so surreal. Like something that happens in movies and not to you.

Fuyumi said nothing as she held you and rubbed soothing circles on your back. She has been a pillar for you in these times and you couldn’t be more grateful. Only wishing you could show your gratuity in a more effective form than just sobbing into her shoulder.

There is an anguish in your heart that will not go away. A part of you died when Touya did, there was no denying that.

Fuyumi pulls away, holding you by the shoulders as her eyes meet yours — she's started crying too and it's enough to make you shake with sobs again.

“Hey, hey,” Fuyumi starts, her voice unwavering despite the tears. You wish you were strong like her. “We’ll get through this, okay? We just have to be strong.”

You give her a pathetic nod, one more for her sake than yours, and try to sit up straighter.

You knew that Touya wouldn’t want to see you like this.

—-------------------

When you are five years old, you notice there is a change in Touya.

You gasp when you see him again, “Touya! Your hair!”

His eyebrows scrunch at your pointing and then widen in realization. “Huh? Oh, don’t worry about that.” Touya huffs, “were you even listening?”

The question startles you and you quickly nod your head, knowing you didn't hear a word he said. “Mhm!”

Touya keeps talking, now bringing a hand to his hair, rubbing a lock between his forefinger and thumb, “Okay, so what’s the deal?”

You can't stop the confused look in your eye as you watch him, cheeks rosy from the cold. It snowed again yesterday, and Touya never seemed bothered by the cold. You were freezing though.

Somehow you let him bring you back to this forest — it’s become your go to hangout. A place where the both of you could practice your quirks in peace.

“Do you like All Might or something?”

You shrug, indifferent to the well known hero. Your parents weren’t heroes and neither was anyone in your family. He seemed more like a comic book character than an actual person.

“Well, it doesn't matter. My dad told me I’m gonna be even better than All Might! So he better watch out.”

You smile, seeing his eyes light up, “Oh, yeah? How are you gonna be better than him, Touya?”

You don’t know why but it makes your heart dance when he gets this way. Stars in his eyes and world in his hand. He’s your hero, you absently wonder if he knows that.

Touya shrugs, scrunching his nose in thought, “I dunno. I haven’t gotten that far yet.” He snaps his fingers and turns to you, “I know! I’ll look it up. It can’t be too hard, right?”

You laugh now. Of course he doesn’t have a plan.

“Don't you think if it were that easy he wouldn't be the number one right now?” You test, and Touya gives you a look, pout strong on his face.

“Hey, whose side are you on, anyway?”

“Yours! So, I don't want you to waste your time on silly stuff.” You offer, looking at the leaves you're making dance in your hand.

He groans, the frustration evident in his voice, “Whatever! I’ll figure something else out.”

In that moment, there’s a great gust of wind — whistling and blowing the leaves in your hand away. It’s chill makes you wrap your arms around yourself, shivering.

“Touya, don’t you get cold?” You ask, arms doing little to warm yourself as you continue to shiver.

The boy looks at you, brows furrowed and eyes confused. “No, do you?”

“Yes!” You shout, “all the time! It’s so c-cold out here. I don’t know how you do it.”

He walks over to you, pondering and examining your face. “Yeah, your nose is all red. Rudolf.”

He takes your face into his hands and closes his eyes, rubbing his nose against yours back and forth. It’s warm and it makes you flush. Your cheeks burn when he pulls away, stunned at the smile on his face and stars in his eyes.

“Better?” He asks, innocent question ringing in your ears and you realize yes, you do feel better, but you also feel warm and fuzzy like there are butterflies dancing around in your belly and you can’t get them out — so, you just nod instead, slow smile creeping on your face and Touya grabs your hand again.

“Good! Now let’s keep going! There’s this cool new move I wanna try.”

And you follow behind him. He was your best friend after all. You feel as though you would even follow him through the icy storms of Antarctica if you needed to.

—-------------------

Christmas with the Todoroki’s has always been interesting. For one, half of them were not present during the dinner. Rei being sent to the facility, endeavor choosing to work on his hero duties and little Shouto desperately trying to eat with all of you without Enji coming home to find him out of his room.

The silence is eerie – other than the sounds of metal clinking against porcelain plates.

You couldn’t help but break the tense air, words sounding loud in the quiet of the room, “Thank you all for inviting me over. The food is really good, Natsuo.”

At this, Natsuo perks up, a smile so wide on his face it makes his eyes squeeze shut. “We love having you around! You’re like the big sis we never had!”

“Hey!” Fuyumi squawks, ready to scold her little brother, “I’m the one who knows where you sleep Natsu, so watch it!”

You can’t help but laugh at the threat, knowing Natsuo has been a victim to many of Fuyumi’s pranks. Shouto only watches on, eating as much as he could before he would inevitably go back to his side of the home. There wasn’t much expression to his face, but he seemed content to watch his older siblings bicker back and forth.

Times like these were nice, you decide. It pulls your mind away from the reality and into the more lively parts of growing up.

After the dinner was done, and the gifts were passed out, there was a somber air growing about you all once more.

Shouto went back to his room and Natsuo found his place in the living room, playing video games and insisting that since he cooked most of the meal, he shouldn’t wash dishes as well.

Much to Fuyumi’s dismay, you agreed with Natuso, but offered to help her with the dishes. It was something to prolong the inevitable walk home.

“What did you get for him this year?” Fuyumi asked, passing you another plate to dry.

You glanced at her, noting how she avoided your gaze, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth instead. “It’s something I’ve been working on for a while. A necklace — with charms and things I think he would like.”

She nods, bringing an arm up to wipe her eyes with her wrist, “Yeah, I’m sure he would love that. He always liked your gifts.”

It’s impossible not to find yourself tearing up.

Once you were done washing dishes with Fuyumi, she went to join Natsuo in the living room, offering unwanted tips on the current game he was playing and receiving groans of irritation in return.

You take that as your cue to leave and make your way to the place you’ve dreaded all night.

Touya’s shrine.

His memoriam stared back at you as you dropped to your knees, lowering your head in prayer and then placing the small decorated box onto the shelf of his shrine.

“Oh, Touya… it’s been three years.” You say to his photo hanging above the shrine. It’s his school photo. You were both in the same class, already talking about what high schools you would be choosing in the upcoming years.

It doesn’t feel like three years. It feels like everyday is the same — you wake up and he’s not there. Like a day you’re doomed to repeat until the reality of it all finally sets in.

What would he look like now, you wonder. Would he have gotten taller? He had always been smaller than the other kids. Would he still have dreams of being a hero? You didn’t know. You wished you knew.

Your fists clinch in your lap and the tears flow freely from your eyes. Even with your head bowed you can’t stop seeing his picture etched into your brain. Those blue eyes staring into your eyes.

A sob escapes your lips and it all comes crashing down after that.

“God, Touya..!” Your words break down, sending your resolve with it. It feels like your heart has been ripped out of your chest and you’ve been openly bleeding out for three years.

You are only sixteen years old and expected to spend the rest of your life without the boy who would put the moon in the sky for you.

Unthinkable.

You’re not sure how much time has passed once you’ve calmed down, but you know it’s late now.

It was time to head home, and you wished Fuyumi and Natsuo well as you hugged them. They wave you off, faces somber and words tight. If they heard you crying, they didn't mention it and you’re thankful.

The trek home would not be not a long one, but you couldn’t stop yourself from taking a detour.

The forest where you and Touya always hung out was nearby and you can't stop your feet when you make a sharp right turn and head that way.

It was getting dark and snow was beginning to fall, but you felt at home.

There's a river you like to walk along. It's such a small little stream that never seems to freeze over, no matter how cold it is outside. It is where you find yourself trailing beside. The water being the only noise breaking through the quiet of the forest.

It kept you company until you reached the familiar open patch of grass, which was currently covered in snow.

Some trees were still charred from the incident, but others were still standing proud. It’s strange how that works — some things can remain the same through adversity while others are damaged beyond repair. You wonder if things could ever grow back from such tragedies.

Maybe the growth of something new could come from the ashes of the old. Like a phoenix.

The snapping of a twig snatches you from your thoughts.

It's a forest, yes, but this area doesn’t have much food for the animals. You stand to your feet, absently wondering when you had taken a seat in the first place, and look around. Maybe it was a trick of the wind, or something falling.

The snow crunches under your feet as you begin to take your leave — you’ve been out long enough.

You make your way through the thick of the trees until something brings you to pause.

Your steps were not the only steps you were hearing.

“Hello?” You call out into what you hoped had been an empty forest, only to be met with silence. It is not a comforting quiet, it was a quiet that crept underneath your skin and gave you goosebumps.

It felt like you were being watched.

“This isn’t funny!” You yell, taking cautious steps backwards, preparing yourself for a sprint in the opposite direction.

You turn, ready to take off when a glimmer of silver catches your eye, the flicker making you halt your movements.

Your heart hammered against your chest.

There was no way.

It was so faint, but you knew the necklace you crafted like the back of your hand.

“Hey! Stop fucking around, whoever you are!” You don’t know where this brave face is coming from, but you aren’t backing down. You could fight if need be.

Against your better judgment, you take a few steps forward, and like you thought, whoever was around took those steps with you. Your breath hitches when you see it.

A flash of white hair.

You break off into a sprint, and the person is already off, having a headstart and leaving you behind.

You couldn’t see as well through the snowfall, but you didn’t need to. White hair and the shimmer of a necklace around the person’s neck has you chasing them deeper into the woods.

“Stop..!” You cry out, reaching a hand forward in an attempt to activate your quirk.

The force of it causes branches to fall from a tree further ahead of the person and he only changes direction.

You follow behind, lungs burning as you struggle to keep up. There was another attempt, bringing an already leaning tree down in front of the running man. It still did not work, he simply jumped over it and continued on.

You were approaching your limit with your quirk and desperate. If you let this slip through your fingers it would drive you mad.

“Wait!” You try again, reaching both hands forward and focusing all you had on the man before you. It was hard to ignore the blood trickling from both nostrils with your quirk use, but you had to, this was your only chance. “Touya..!”

And in that moment, the man stopped — whether it be from your quirk holding him in place or his own will, you weren't sure. All you knew was that the man stopped, and turned.

Your vision began to blur as your head pounded from the overexertion — your quirk was difficult to use on a living being, but it didn’t matter. You would know those eyes even in your darkest hour.

The cerulean blue was the last thing you saw before your world went dark.

And in your final moments, only one thought rang in your mind.

Touya is alive.

#todoroki touya #touya todoroki #todoroki touya x reader #touya x reader #dabi x reader #dabi #touya todoroki x reader #my works #mha x reader #dabi x you #todoroki touya x you

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atinystraynstay · 4 months

Text

Angel Season - Jeong Yunho

Synopsis: Yunho first noticed you when you moved into the building. He was attracted not just by your physical beauty but the way your smile outshined the sun. He has spent the past year making little conversation, trying to be a good neighbor. However, he refused to go into the new year without making a move.

Pairing: neighbor!Jeong Yunho x reader

Genre: strangers to lovers, next door neighbors/cute boy next door, angst - heartache, jealousy

Contains: mentions alcohol consumption

Word Count: 8.9k

December 30, 2022

"Miss, what floor are you on?" "Third floor, apartment 3A," you called out.

The mover nodded his head before whistling for the other. "3A boys!"

One was lifting your bed out of the back of the moving truck, another person still in the truck for support. You stood on the curb of the sidewalk, watching. You were able to help with the smaller boxes, the ones filled with either trinkets or kitchen items. But for the longer furniture, you were more than happy to let the professionals handle it.

As people were carrying things into your new home, you took a moment to look around your surroundings. You've always been attracted to city living. For some people, you knew that they could get overwhelmed by the high-rises and busy streets. That was what attracted you to living here. You liked the idea that you could go about your day without being noticed, being able to blend into the crowds. Yet, you liked the endless possibilities of making this city whatever you want it to be.

Despite the rainy, chilly weather, there was no place you'd rather be.

Seeing as all your furniture had been taken out of the moving truck, you decided to lend a hand now. The faster the movers could drop off your stuff, the sooner you could start unpacking and decorating.

You stepped Ito the truck, going to retrieve one of the boxes you knew you could manage. "Do you need some help there?"

Caught off guard, you jumped at the sound of the new voice. You turned around to see who was talking to you. Much to your surprise, you were greeted by a tall, young man. He couldn't have been older than you.

Wow, he's absolutely stunning.

He wore a gentle smile, feeling a bit bad for giving you a scare. He stood with his hands in his pockets as he stood at the bottom of the truck. You felt a bit guilty at first contemplating taking up his offer. What if he had somewhere to be? What if he was just trying to be nice? However, you came to your senses because he wouldn't have offered if he was serious, right?

"If you don't mind!"

The young man nodded his hand, extending his arms out to take the box from you. You grinned at the gesture, quickly grabbing the box for him. "You have no idea how much this means to me. Lucky for you, the movers got all the heavy stuff, so we just have a few more boxes," you laughed. You quickly grabbed a box for yourself before joining him out of the truck and on the ground. "Hey, I am pretty strong," he said, pretending to be offended. "By the way, my name is Yunho." "I'm y/n. I should've asked before leading you up to my apartment."

You both shared a laugh. Carrying one of the boxes, you took the lead in showing the man to your new apartment. Your mother always told you not to talk to strangers, but there was no way you'd let this handsome stranger just walk past you. Not when he approached you first. "Wait, you're moving here?" He asked, shocked. "Oh no. Please don't tell me there is something wrong with the apartment," you whined. He quickly shook his head, wanting to ease any worries or concerns you may have. Yunho never thought that offering assistance, trying to be a good person would lead him to probably the best thing to happen to him all year.

Yunho was out on his usual routine on a Saturday morning. He went out for his usual coffee and bagel after running errands. It was a little reward for him for getting out of bed rather than staying in. The bigger reward was running into you. "No, I actually live here," he chuckled softly. Yunho was glad that you were in front of him, back turned as you guided him up the steps to your new unit. Because if you turned around, you would see him with the widest grin on his face. He was like a little boy on Christmas morning who opened up the one present he has been asking for all year. "Small world!" You giggled. "What unit are you?" "3B, what about you?" "Well hi neighbor," you teased. "I'm moving into 3A."

Correction, this was now the best present he could have received.

Valentine's Day - February 2023

Over the past month or so, Yunho and you have passed by each other. Sometimes it is when you are entering the building and he's leaving, which he'll open the door for you. Or sometimes it is when you are both returning after a night out.

He was starting to pick up on things that consisted in your daily life. For example, he knew that you liked a fresh bouquet of flowers for your apartment every 2 or 3 weeks. You always had one bad of groceries, presumably buying just for the week. Friday nights always included a bottle of red wine.

All of his friends were aware of the girl next door. They often tried to catch a glimpse of you when they were over to visit. Yunho certainly has developed a crush on the girl next door. How couldn't he? You radiated brighter than the lights atop the Empire State Building.

Tonight was Valentine's Day. Both of your respective jobs kept you out of the apartment most nights. You two had exchanged numbers, for the sake of knowing someone else in the building and for emergencies. Yunho hadn't brought himself to text you outside of those conditions as he was afraid of giving the wrong impression. He didn't even crack under the relentless teasing of his friends on his failure to make a move after a month and a half of knowing you.

He felt a stronger urge to text you today. Did she have a date for Valentine's Day? Did she even want one? Was she even single?

Yunho was on the unlucky side of not having a date for the evening. His work had consumed the better part of days, so he hadn't put much of his energy towards dating. He often came home, reheated dinner if he hadn't ordered takeout, and slept before doing it all again the next day.

Trudging up the steps, he was contemplating if tonight would be the night he finally texts you. However, he knew texting you was pointless. Not when you were practically standing in front of him.

His eyes widened, taking you in. You wore a black peacoat with the red dress you were wearing peaking out underneath. Silver heels were hugging your feet. He has never seen your hair done in curls, but it was becoming one of his favorite looks on you. You wore red lipstick to go with the dress. The one accessory he wasn't pleased to see was your hands gripping the plastic loops of a white takeout bag. Oh no, she did have a date tonight. Fuck, I missed my opportunity.

Seeing movement from your peripheral, you turned your head over. The light frown on your lips was soon replaced with a gentle smile. Yunho always brought joy into your life, even if the interactions were minimal. "Hi Yunho," you spoke, your voice softer than usual. It didn't carry its usual tone of happiness. He could tell that there was something wrong. He felt the urge to take care of anything that might be troubling you, but he didn't want to overstep his bounds. "Hey y/n. I'm surprised you're not out tonight. No suitors catch your attention?" You smiled wider at his compliment. Yunho always knew how to make you feel special. Any girl would be lucky to have him as their boyfriend. "Unfortunately no. I, uh, got stood up, so ended up picking up Chinese from the place around the corner on my way back." This time, Yunho frowned. You got stood up? How could anyone do that to anyone, but especially how could anyone do that to you? You were literal treasure in Yunho's eyes. He felt saddened for you, but angry at whoever made you upset.t

"Oh, y/n. I'm sorry to hear that. Are you ok? Is there anything I can do?" "You're too sweet. No, I'll be okay. I think I just want to be alone, if that's ok?"

Of course, whatever you felt like you needed. He nodded his head, offering a gentle smile. "I'll see you around?" He asked. You smiled back, a bit wider. Seeing Yunho was the favorite part of your day.

The two of you entered your respective apartments. Once the door was shut to his, he let out a soft sigh. He slipped off his winter jacket, hanging it by the door before slipping off his shoes. He trudged himself over further into his apartment, turning on the floor lamp in the living room. He claimed his seat on the couch before looking out the windows into the city.

His earlier dilemma seemed to resolve himself. Sitting up slightly, he pulled his phone out of his pocket. His fingers made quick work at typing a text. A very important text to you.

"He's a loser, y/n. You deserve the whole world and I know there's someone out there ready to give it to you 🙂"

He set his phone on the arm of the chair. He wasn't sure if you would respond, or even read his text tonight. It tore him up inside knowing some jerk made you upset. He also felt some responsibility. Maybe if he had gotten the courage to confess to you, he could have saved you from the disappointment? I mean, he couldn't even dream of letting you down by any means.

Yunho was surprised to feel the vibration of his phone. He never acted so quickly to pick something up before. "You're the sweetest in the whole world. Thanks Yunho 🩷 to hell with him I guess"

He chuckled at your words before trying a response back. "To hell with him. You are an angel, don't settle for less."

Little did he know how wide you were smiling next door. You were at your kitchen countertop. The tears of frustration quickly forgotten the moment Yunho texted you. It was as if he answered your silent prayer.

April 2023

It was a rainy day in the city. Spring was in full swing, the green buds on the trees in the neighborhood beginning to peanut. People all around the city were beginning to put plants out on their balconies. You always loved rainy days. They always soothed your soul, loving to just curl up and watch rain run down the window.

"I can't believe they cancelled the game," Yunho sighed from outside the hallway. You've learned that he can be loud when he's excited or frustrated. This seems like it is the latter.

There were no other voices on the side of the door. He was probably on the phone. Maybe with Yeosang? You've met his friends here and there as they float in and out of his apartment. There were all friendly towards you. It was just a bigger testament to who Yunho is as a person.

You didn't hear much of the conversation before the door closed. Maybe this was your chance. You planned on having a lazy day anyways. Maybe read a book, watch a movie, but you know that it is always better with company.

Taking your phone from beside you, you unlocked it with ease. Your fingers eagerly typing a text message to the boy next door. Your speed of texting matched the butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

"Hey neighbor! Think I just heard you get home, wanna come over to watch a movie?"

Your heart was pounding both with excitement and anxiety. You weren't typically the person to make the first move. Since moving in, you were very grateful for your friendship with Yunho. He's treated you with nothing but kindness, really setting a standard on how your guy friends and even dates should be treating you.

At night, your mind often got curious about the topic. What would it be like to be with Yunho? Not once have you seen a woman enter his apartment. He never even mentioned going on dates. There potential was there, but you just weren't sure if he was just being a good friend, an exceptional neighbor, or if he was into you.

"Wow perfect timing, angel" You grinned seeing his nickname for you. "Plans got cancelled, so I'll be over in 5? I'll bring the popcorn!"

Springing up from the couch, you rushed over to your bathroom. You were wearing a pair of shorts and an oversized t-shirt. You were unsatisfied with your hair though. It was curled in a messy bun on the top of your head. You quickly pulled at the scrunchie, releasing your hair so it fell down to your shoulders. You began brushing it out. You didn't have much time.

This could solve every answer you've had over the past few weeks. This could easily just be two friends hanging out. What if it turned into something more?

Y/n, chill. You took a deep breath, trying to ease your racing mind. You didn't like building up expectations. While you would like it if Yunho made a move or gave some indicator he is attracted to you, you didn't want to set yourself up for disappointment.

Knock knock knock.

Here goes nothing. You took a deep breath in the reflection of your bathroom mirror. It is just two friends hanging out.

You turned off your bathroom light before attending to the front door of your apartment. Your heart beat matched the pace you were walking, trying your hardest not to be too fast. You were conscious maybe he would hear you racing to the door, even thought you were eager to have him over.

Opening the door, you smiled wide to be greeted by Yunho. He was standing on the other side, holding a bowl of freshly popped popcorn. The hallway beginning to smell of the delicious food. "Sorry, it took me so long! I just wanted to make sure I got the popcorn ready."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sun was hidden behind grey clouds, providing little light throughout your apartment. You insisted on lighting a few candles, to create a warm feel to your home compared to the cold weather outside. It also helped create a bit of a romantic ambiance to the afternoon.

You two were sat pretty close together on your three-seat grey couch. An emerald blanket was spread across your laps with the bowl of popcorn in between.

After hearing that you have not seen a single Spiderman movie, Yunho was determined to show you all the movies. Or at least the big 3 - Maguire, Garfield, and Holland. He tried insisting the two of you didn't have to watch all three movies today, but you had no other plans. You would be more than happy to spend the afternoon like this with Yunho.

Throughout the movie, you guys would balance light conversation and watching the movie. When you were focused on the film, Yunho would glance at you to see your reaction. He adored Spiderman, so seeing if you liked one of his favorite things captured his attention. He also would focus on how you smiled at certain parts of the film, particular the scenes between Peter Parker and Mary Jane.

When you weren't focusing on the film, you two would talk more. Sure, you've made light conversation when passing, and a bit more meaningful over text, but this was the perfect time to get to know each other. Yunho wanted to know about your dreams, your passions, your dislikes. He wanted to know all the little things that made you who you are.

It was about 5:18pm when you guys started the the first movie with Andrew Garfield. You felt your eyes getting a bit heavy. Yunho took notice, moving the bowl of popcorn out of the way for you. Noticing, you smiled appreciatively to him. He always had your best interests at heart.

Your eyes grew heavy, body sinking more into the couch. Before either of you knew it, your head fell on his shoulder. Without the bowl of popcorn in the way, your body curled into his. Yunho's eyes were wide and heart nearly stopped before speeding up.

Glancing down at you, your chest was resting against his shoulder. You looked adorable. Your eyelashes were resting against your cheeks, lips slightly parted. Your hands were grazing the side of his body. There was no chance of him going anywhere now. Not that he would want to.

Very slowly, cautious as to not wake you up, his arm draped over you. He sunk slightly into the couch before resting his head on yours. Sleep began taking over his body. He was content.

May 2023

"What do you mean you're leaving?" You frowned.

Yunho suggested that the two of you hung out weekly. It started off with going to local bars to vent about the woes of work and life. Those quickly changed into dinner out, to get a change of scenery and explore the neighborhood. Tonight, Yunho suggested dinner at his place. You weren't sure why at first, but obviously excited to spend quality time with your best friend. But now you get why he opted for staying in.

"I'm not leaving forever," Yunho reassured. "I'm just going to Korea for a little bit. It's been a while since I visited my family, and I can finally afford a ticket after my promotion."

Of course, you knew that family was important. If you got the opportunity to visit your family more often, you'd easily say yes. You couldn't help though but feel a bit selfish in wanting Yunho to stay.

"How long am I going to be without seeing you around?" "3 months," he said sheepishly.

Dramatically, you let out a whine and threw your head back. Yunho couldn't help but chuckle at your antics. It made his heart swell seeing as that you were going to miss him.

He moved his hand over to place it gently on yours. The light touch, even though it was feather like, felt like electric shocks throughout your body. You always craved his touch. Ever since that day last month when you woke up to his arms wrapped around you on his couch.

"Angel, it'll go by quick, I promise." "Can you also promise me something?" "Anything." "Promise that you won't have a realization while you're away that you actually want to stay in Korea? Because the thought of you moving and actually having to say goodbye will kill me."

He chuckled again, a wide smile on his lips. "I promise."

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Turns out that all of Yunho's friends were traveling with him to Korea. All of the boys have apparently been speaking about it for months, but the idea was finally leaving the group chat.

Even though you wanted to accompany all the boys to the airport to see them off, you knew that it would be too painful. Even if he was going to be gone for 3 months, it felt like a part of you was leaving as well. At least with saying goodbye at the apartment, you could hurry back to your place and shed tears if you want to.

Going down the steps of the apartment building, you two headed out the front door. Yunho had called an Uber to take him to the airport, not wanting to pay the overnight prices for parking at the airport especially with how long he was going to be.

It felt very reminiscent to the day you two met. You even tried to offer carrying one of Yunho's bags, but he refused to let you help. You rolled your eyes at him. The least you could do was get in front of him to open the front door rather than watch him struggle to do it with a rolling suitcase, a duffle bag, and his backpack. "Thank you, angel," he chuckled. He could sense you were a bit annoyed for not being able to help. He loved the way your nose scrunched up like a bunny when you were annoyed.

He walked towards the edge of the sidewalk, on the lookout for the vehicle. You stood back slightly, smiling up at him. You were trying your best not to let your sadness ruin the moment. He has been excited about traveling home since he bought the ticket. Yunho described all his favorite places in Seoul, all the things he missed.

"You better still talk to me while you're in Seoul," you said teasingly.

With his bags on the concrete, he turned towards you. He wore that wide smile of his, that wide smile that caused your knees to get week. He opened his arms, inviting you into them. No way were you going to object.

Walking into his arms, he wrapped them around you. He pulled you in close to him by your waist. His lips pressed against your forehead, causing your eyes to flutter shut at the sensation. How am I going to survive 3 months without him?

"I'll talk to you as much as I can, take all the photos I can," he promised.

Satisfied with that answer, you nodded your head. Your arms had found a place around his torso, holding yourself go. Maybe if you held onto each other long enough, he would want to stay. If only.

You felt two taps on your lower back. Raising an eyebrow, you pulled back to lookout Yunho. He was already looking at you. It was as if time froze. He towered over you, but his face was so close to you. His eyes never leaving yours. You could melt into a puddle due to his gaze.

Keeping one hand around you, his other hand moved to cup your face. He tilted your head slightly to the side. His fingertips rested against your cheek. The whole time, he wore a smile on his lips. Regardless of what he had up his sleeves, you put your whole trust in him. You never doubted his intentions with you.

A shiver ran down your spine feeling the padding of his thumb run across your lower lip. Was this actually happening? He glanced at your lips before looking into your eyes. Yunho was looking for any hesitation from you, any sign that he should stop before getting to ahead of himself. Yet, you never looked away.

"Wait for me?"

You couldn't bring yourself to speak. You were frozen in place. Your mind had become fuzzy, all the sounds of the busy city around you faded. All that mattered was the man standing in front of you, the man who seemed to be saying everything you've been yearning to hear since you two met. Was this actually happening? Somehow, you got yourself to nod.

Yunho smiled wider before letting his desires take over. Not wanting to waste anymore time, he pressed his lips against yours.

HONK!

The kiss was rudely short after hearing the sound of a car horn. You two pulled away, both confused and upset at the interruption. Yunho looked over his shoulders before gasping softly. There was his Uber to whisk him away from you. "Shit," he sighed.

Looking back at you, he smiled apologetically. You smiled back before leaning up on his tiptoes. Sensing that Yunho was actually going to leave, the Uber driver got out of the car to grab Yunho's suitcases and place them in the trunk. Just enough time to do one last thing.

"Don't worry. I'll save all the kisses for you, I promise to wait for you."

You leaned up to press one last lingering kiss on his lips. One last kiss for now at least.

June 2023

Since Yunho left, you got pretty good at figuring out timezone differences.

You didn't want to interfere with Yunho's daily life. You were sure that he has plans to visit family, local places he hasn't been able to go to in years, and make meaningful memories with his best friends and loved ones. Yet, Yunho was insistent he will make time for you.

Every Wednesday night and Sunday morning, you two would FaceTime. Thank God for modern technology. "I wish you could be here," Yunho admitted one night.

You frowned and nodded. Ever since Yunho left, he was all you think about. You tried getting yourself involved more in your work, but it as summer. Work was a bit slow. You had friends in the city who tried to help you out of your conundrum, taking you out on the weekends. But you still thought about him, wanting to experience summer in the city with him.

It made you sick to your stomach when you saw couples in the park. You often thought about the kiss you two shared on the morning he left. You wondered where you guys would be, romantically, if he had stayed. You could easily envision dates in the park, nights out with friends, and everything in between. You were anxiously waiting for his return to know where things could go. "Y/n?"

You blinked a couple of times as he called out to you. A soft blush coated your cheeks, coming to realize you haven't spoken in a few minutes. "Sorry, Yunho. Just thinking about what it would be like when you get back here," you explained.

He seemed to smile at your response. It was good to know you missed him as much as he missed you. Though, if it was a competition, he could say that he missed you more. "Oh angel, I know. Just two more months, right?"

All you could do is nod, trying your best to smile along with him. He looked good, even with the low quality of FaceTime with a poor wifi connection. He glowed from being out in the sun, probably glowing also with happiness by being back at home. "I know what will make us feel better," he suddenly announced. You perked up with curiosity. Yunho always had some trick up his sleeve. That was what you loved about him. He always kept you on your toes, never settling for a routine. "Go check the front door."

"You better not be pulling a prank on me, Jeong Yunho!" "After you called me by my full name? Absolutely not."

You rolled your eyes playfully before pushing yourself away from the desk in your bedroom. Yunho watched with amusement as you disappeared from the frame. Following his request, you made your way to the front door of your apartment. What did he do?

There was no knock at the door to indicate someone was there. However, you trusted Yunho. You slowly opened the door, confirming there was nobody standing behind there. Instead, there was a bouquet of flowers on your doormat. You gasped softly to see it wa a rather large bouquet, much larger than the ones you pick up from Trader Joe's.

You bent over to take the glass vase into two hands. There was a yellow bow wrapped around it. You also noticed that there was a card sticking in between the flowers. With one arm securing the vase, you flipped the card over.

"Happy birthday, my angel. Hopefully these make up for me being away."

Your heart fluttered at the sentiment. How did you get so fortunate? Wanting to hurry back to Yunho, you returned to the inside of your apartment. Both of your hands held the vase, so you closed the door with your foot. You began to make your way back to your bedroom where he awaited for you.

"Yunho, I love-" but you froze. Instead of his face on the monitor, you were met with your laptop background. You frowned a bit, assuming that maybe the connection got disrupted.

He'll call you back. He always did when this happened.

For now, you walked over to your windowsill. You placed the vase there, so it could get the necessary sunlight. He knew just the ways to make you smile, even when he is thousands of miles away. You pulled your phone out to snap a photo of it, with the card showing.

August 2023

The conversations between you and Yunho began to become less frequent. It chipped away at your heart when you would go days, sometime a week without hearing from him. Yet, his friends reassured you that he was having a great time back at home.

All of Yunho's friends easily became yours, despite them being on the other side of the world. You then decided to throw a welcome back party for all the boys. You had your own friends enlisted to help with decorations - there were balloons, streamers, and even a cake. You were excited to have some of your favorite people back. But not more excited than you were to have Yunho back.

It was 7:40pm when the boys began to come to the party. Seonghwa and Hongjoong were the first to arrive. Your friends started to trickle in one at a time. After a whole summer without Yunho, you wanted to have a room full of positive energy. San, Yeosang, and Wooyoung arrived next. Then quickly came Jongho.

Each time the door opened, you looked over, hoping to see the man of the hour. Yet, you felt your smile flatten when it wasn't Yunho.

Your friends all giggled at your reactions. They were quick to reassure you that he was on his way. While Yunho's friends all were quick to take your mind off of Yunho's absence.

Mingi was the second to last person to arrive. Mingi was the first person in the friend group to meet. He's known Yunho the longest, so meeting him felt like you were meeting the president. While you and Yunho remained in undefined territory, you wanted to make a great impression. "Y/n!" "Mingi!"

You two approached each other, wrapping each other in a hug. You laughed as Mingi began rocking you back and forth. He definitely became like a big brother to you, often using your drastic height difference as a great point for laughter. "What's up, short stuff?" "Nothing much, Mingi. How's the weather up there?"

Before he could respond, there was knocking at the door. Your heart skipped a beat. Yunho. Mingi glanced at the door before looking at you. His hands were placed on your forearms, keeping you still rather than running towards the door like you wanted to rush to the door. "Wait, y/n. There's something I need to tell you." "Mingi, come on. Can't it wait?" Your best friend beat you from going to open the door. Your attention on Mingi was lost before you quickly looked over at the door.

You could feel your stomach drop at what was revealed behind the closed front door. There was Yunho. With a girl by his side. Her hand was on his chest which made you physically ill. Yunho was smiling from ear to ear, saying hello to his friends until his eyes landed on you. That's when your smile faded. He looked as if he was about to say something to you but you quickly looked away.

This can't be happening.

"I need to get out of here," you murmured. Getting the hint, Mingi stepped aside, blocking Yunho's view of you. Your eyes looked around your room until you eyed the fire escape by your kitchen window.

With your eyes on the target, you maneuvered yourself through the crowd to the fire escape. The majority of people at the party were in your living room, enjoying the food you laid out and making conversations amongst themselves. You just needed a chance to breathe before returning inside.

You propped open the window, slipping out to climb the steps. You at least climbed until you were out of sight from inside the room. Your eyes were burning slightly, your emotions catching up to you.

"Mingi, where is she?" "Where is who?"

You heard Yunho groan before there was more shuffling of footsteps throughout your apartment. You should have closed the window behind you, but it was too late. You put your hands on your forehead, trying your best to stop crying before the inevitable happened. It didn't take long anyways. "There you are," Yunho sighed. Fuck me for having a tiny apartment. You didn't pick your head up to hear Yunho climb out to join you. "What? You're not going to even look at me?"

Who does he think he is? "You made me promise," you murmured. "Y/n, angel, you gotta at least speak up."

You felt your blood begin to boil now. He doesn't get the right to call you that anymore. Not when he broke your heart. You did pick your head up, your jaw clenched. You stared at him.

He leaned against the iron railing of the fire escape. He looked guilty. He knows what he did. "You made me promise to wait for you. And I held up my end of the bargain." "Angel, I know-" "Don't you dare fucking call me that."

Yunho's eyes opened wide. He has never heard you shout before. Let alone he never thought you would shout at him. He was at a lost for words. "Is that why you stopped our FaceTime calls?"

You watched as he sighed, dropping his head. Your heart dropping and shattering along with him. "Get out." Y/n, please. Let me explain what happened." "I said get out, Yunho!"

Mingi quickly appeared at the sound of you screaming. You didn't even notice that there was a small watch party watching you experience heartbreak from the kitchen. "Come on, mate. Take Ara with you." Yunho glanced between the two of you, even more thrown off as to why Mingi was coming to your defense.

However, Yunho didn't want to make matters worse. He didn't want to further upset you in your own home, but the damage was done. You turned your face to focus on the skyline, not wanting to watch Yunho walk into the art of someone else.

When you noticed Yunho was gone, you groaned loudly before resting your head back in your hands. What were you going to do?

October 2023

You haven't spoken to Yunho in weeks. You constantly had music playing from the speakers in your living room or walked around your apartment with headphones to avoid hearing any and all interactions between Yunho and his girlfriend. You even were contemplating on moving to a new place in the new year, but your financial situation limited you on where you could go.

Since things went radio silent, your conversations with the other boys have also gone quiet. It pained you to lose them as friends, but you couldn't bring yourself to reach out there. Not when Yunho might be brought up.

At the moment, you were reading a book on your couch. You had the music playing in the background as you had connected your iPhone to your wireless speaker, drowning out any noise. At least someone gets a happily every after in the novel. You had a glass of red wine on the coffee table, getting lost in the pages.

You were about to flip the page to your book when the music cut out. Your eyes widened as you feared the worst. No no no. You couldn't afford your phone dying. You were sure you put it on the charger. There was no room for mishaps like this.

However, it wasn't the worst case you imagined. It might have been something worst, definitely unexpected to say the least. You weren't sure how to feel seeing the name flash on your phone screen.

Mingi.

Slowly, you reached over to pick up the phone. You stared at it for the time being. What could he want? Mingi was the last person you thought would reach out to you. Wasn't there a rule under bro code that said not to take your friend's exes, if you could even call yourself that? You weren't sure what you even were to Yunho.

Mingi's name vanished from your phone screen, the music restarting. You let out a sigh, about to sink into your couch to ease your racing heart when he started calling again.

It had to be serious if he was calling you twice. Hesitantly, your thumb hit the green accept button. You held the phone up to your ear.

"Hello? Mingi?" "Long time since I've heard from you," he said cheerfully. "Mind coming to open the door for me?"

What? You glanced the door before standing up. You walked over to the door slowly. Once you were at the peephole of your unit door. There he was, standing as he looked around the hallway with his hand up to his ear, holding the phone.

Slowly, you opened the door and gazed up at Mingi. He noticed the movement and finally looked ahead of him. His smile grew when he saw you for the first time in months. "Hi, y/n," he spoke softly. You could hear his voice from right in front of you and from the speaker. "Hi Mingi. What can I do for you?" You said, unhanging up the phone to address him properly.

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For the first time in weeks, you felt genuinely happy. You arm was linked with Mingi's as he guided you to your apartment unit.

While it's been weeks since contact with him, it felt like you guys were picking up right where you left off. Maybe that is why it was so easy to say yes to Mingi when he asked you out for dinner. There was also a special connection between you and Mingi. From the moment you met, the communication between you two has been strong.

Tonight, you got to explore that on a deeper level. Mingi waited patiently in your living room as you got ready. He took you to a restaurant around the corner, which was a bit more upscale than what you were anticipating. You put on a black body con dress, wearing a light leather jacket to go with it.

Mingi looked at you as if you were made our of the stars. You looked enchanting. And since the fallout, you felt just as amazing.

Being the absolute gentleman he is, Mingi walked you to your front door not just of your apartment building but to your unit. Part of you was contemplating about inviting him inside for a nigh cap, but you really appreciated where things were between the two of you. It felt like Mingi just walked back into your life, and you didn't want to risk losing him again. "Mingi, I cannot thank you enough for this evening," you smiled.

He looked over at you as he led you up the staircase. "It really was long overdue, sweet girl. I've been meaning to do this for a while, but I didn't want to overstep," he confessed. You felt your cheeks get hot at his confessional, looking down as you watched your feet move up the steps. Mingi laughed lightly in response, leaning over to kiss your cheek.

You two soon arrived at your front door. Biting your lip gently, you stood in front of him yet you couldn't bring yourself to detach yourself from him. And deep down, Mingi didn't want you to eat go either.

"So, I gotta ask," you began. "What was this? I mean, was this two friends getting reacquainted with each other or..?" "Or something more?"

Mingi wrapped one arm around you, pulling you in closer. You blushed even harder, a hand going to rest on his chest. Your heart was pounding even after. You were convinced that Mingi could feel it. He opened his mouth to speak but froze when he saw movement behind you. You raised an eyebrow and dared to look over your shoulder, wanting to see what stole your date's attention.

You felt your throat suddenly get dry.

There was Yunho. He was holding a bag of groceries, standing at the top of the steps that led to your respective units. He was staring at the two of you, eyes flickering back and forth. There was no way he just caught his best friend and his old crush together? It was the way you were dressed up for Mingi that rubbed Yunho the wrong way. Was this a date?

Mingi didn't say anything to Yunho. He quickly looked back down at you, offering a gentle smile. His hand on your lower back moved to your hip, squeezing it reassuringly. "How about I'll give you a call when I get home?" He whispered.

You simply nodded. You weren't sure how to even respond. Mingi kept a smile, an attempt to ease your worries. He murmured a goodnight before kissing your cheek lingeringly. Your fingertips grazed his body as he maneuvered around you to head home.

You turned around, to watch him leave. There was no Yunho. Did you imagine the whole thing? You stood there for a moment, trying to wrap your mind around what happened.

Yunho, on the other hand, was in his apartment. He stood with his back against the closed front door, staring ahead of himself. He too was trying to wrap his mind around what he just witnessed.

November 2023

The sound of a door slamming caused you to jolt. It shook your walls a bit. "What the hell?" You murmured. You heard the sound of another door, maybe the same, opening again, realizing it was coming from next door. Yunho.

"You haven't even told me you love me in the past 5 months that we've been dating," Ara screamed.

You shouldn't be eavesdropping, you know you really shouldn't. However, the events unfolding peaked your interest. With having blocked out Yunho pretty much from your life, you had no updates on the relationship or anything about him.

"Maybe because I don't! Have you ever thought about that? That maybe I've been trying to find ways to love you or get myself to love you but I can't be in love with you?!"

Your jaw fell open. Not the update you were expecting.

"This is because of y/n, isn't it?" Ara voice spoke, but you could tell it was shaky. She was scared of knowing the truth, and secretly, you were too. "Honestly? Yeah." "She's with Mingi now. You're with me, Yunho. Get over her." "I can't. I don't think I ever will because if I can't date you and forget about her, how can I date anyone?"

Before you know it, you heard the sound of the door slamming. This time, you recognized it to be the front door to Yunho's apartment. You were staring up at your ceiling.

Well, this makes things complicated again.

New Years Day - December 31, 2023

Mingi was hosting a New Years Eve party at his place. You were invited, seeing as you and Mingi had rekindled your friendship.

The two of you went on several dates before releasing that there were no feelings between the two of you. You cared deeply for one another, but were more like siblings than anything else. The attention he was giving you on those dates is something that you'll never forget. You were grateful for him helping you get back and your feet. And he was grateful that you passed along his number to your best friend.

"Hey, I'm going to go find Mingi," your best friend announced as you entered the party. "Trying to ensure you'll get your New Years Eve kiss from your new boyfriend?" You teased. She rolled her eyes playfully before giggling. She couldn't even deny herself as she nodded her head, confirming your suspicions. "Are you going to be okay if I go over for a little bit? I know he might show up.."

He. Yunho. Since you overheard their argument last month, you two haven't spoken. He hasn't texted you to meet up, but to be fair, you also haven't texted him. You weren't sure what to make out of the whole situation. While you think you want Yunho back, you remember the pain he caused.

You weren't even sure if him and Ara actually called it quits! The fight sounded ugly. And you knew if you heard those words from your significant other, you would have walked out as well. Yet, people constantly get back together even after the worst of storms. Looking at your best friend, you smiled reassuringly and nodded. "Yeah, I think I'm going to be okay. Just be quick? He can have you at midnight but you're still my date for the evening," you teased.

She laughed and nodded, thanking you and giving you a quick hug before rushing to locate Mingi. You shook your head playfully before going over towards the kitchen island. If there was a chance you were going to encounter Yunho, might as well boost your confidence. Seeing a bottle of white wine, you smiled. Mingi remembered. Bonus points for being a screw top.

"So you switched from red wine to white?"

It was almost as if the universe needed a laugh, a way to really close out your 2023. Setting the bottle down, you turned on your heels to see Yunho behind you. He smiled sheepishly, that smile that made you weak in the knees. For a while, you wanted to slap him for what he had done to you. But even after all this time, you wanted to melt in front of him.

Glancing at the bottle, you shrugged. "I guess I just wanted to try something new."

He was attractive as ever. It wasn't fair that after all this time, he could look at you with that soft gaze and you crumble. You wanted to make him jealous, make him regret not taking a chance on you. However, you were ready to gravel if given the chance.

His eyes remained on you. To him, you radiated brighter than before. It was as if you were made out of stars. You captivated everyone's attention with ease, but he wanted you all to himself. He wanted to make things more concrete, never making you doubt or worry again.

"So um," he said. "Ara and I broke up."

You frowned getting confirm of the news. Of course, this worked out in your benefit, but you still didn't like to hear the news. Any sort of heartache is tough.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, Yunho. How have you been holding up?" "A lot better than you'd think," he chuckled. "How are things between you and Mingi? Are you guys dating officially now or?"

Your eyes widened slightly. That's right. Last time he saw you, you were about to kiss his best friend after a spontaneous date. You were a bit surprised to hear that Mingi hadn't mentioned anything to him. All you did was motion over to your left side, where Mingi and your best friend were giggling and kissing each other.

Yunho's jaw dropped. You could see his fists clenched but you quickly reached out to rest your hand on his bicep. He relaxed under your touch, gaze softening. He watched them for a moment before it clicked for him that you were touching him. His cheeks reddened, glancing at you before looking down at his feet. "We never got started. I think we were both going on dates because we were missing something," you explained. "Missing something like what?"

He looked at you surprisingly. Yunho's friends always said he was like a golden retriever, but you've never seen it until now. He looked at you like you were holding the golden key to the treasure chest. Literally, you could provide him with the entrance into your world one and for all.

"Missing you," you confessed. "Oh really? How should we fix that?" "Hey, you two, midnight is still 15 minutes away!"

Smack.

The sound of laughter filled the room as eyes went from you and Yunho to Mingi, who just got smacked upside the head by your best friend. It became painfully apparent where you two were. You were standing by all the alcohol at the party, a high traffic area.

"Wanna get out of here?"

You nodded your head, smiling at Yunho. He smiled back at you before grabbing the red wine, the bottle you genuinely liked. To assist, you grabbed two red solo cups. Mingi couldn't trust anyone or himself with glass. With Yunho's free hand, he grabbed your hand and began leading you out of Mingi's unit to the door to the rooftop.

"After you," Yunho gestured, as he pushed open the door with his shoulder.

You smiled appreciatively as you stepped out onto the ledge. A shiver, both from the chilly air of late December to the excitement of New Year's Day. It was always your favorite time of year. Your eyes moved around as you took in the sights of the city from this vantage point.

Yunho made sure you got to the rooftop safely. Setting down the wine bottle for a second, he grabbed one of the bricks to prop the door slightly, not wanting to get the two of you locked out. But boy, would it create a memory for the two of you. Picking up the bottle again, he rejoined you. "This is absolutely beautiful," you stated.

Watching you, he smiled. You wore a smile on your lips as your eyes, he swore, literally sparkled. He wasn't sure if it was from the decorative lights around the city or your pure excitement, but he liked to believe that he had something to do with it. The wind pushed your hair around, revealing your face. "Yeah, the best view," he whispered.

Slowly, he walked up to you. Noticing you were still holding the two solo cups, he took them for you. You watched, thinking he was going to pour a glass for you for midnight as a cheers.

Instead, he stacked the two cups before putting them down on the top of the wine bottle. Maybe he wanted to open the bottle right up at midnight?

Still full of surprises, Yunho took both of your hands in his instead. His thumbs ran over your knuckles. He took a step close to you, closing in on the space that divided you two.

"I think we've spent too much time apart, don't you think, angel?" That nickname. It stirred mixed emotions from you. The last time you heard that nickname, he was smashing your heart into a million pieces that you didn't think could be put back together. Yet, hearing him call you that was like hearing your favorite song from your childhood. He was the only one that called you that. He was the only one who will ever call you that. "I know I fucked up this year. I fucked up so bad," he began. "And I know we have a long road ahead where you could let me into your life again. I don't want to just be the boy next door anymore. I want to be yours. I want to show you that I can take care of your heart, your wellbeing like I should've done this entire time."

No way this was actually happening.

From instead the apartment and around the neighborhood outside, you heard people begin to count down.

"I can't go back in time and erase what I did."

"Y/n, I will do whatever it takes to win your trust back. We can take things are you pace," he vowed

All you could do was smile at Yunho. He was trying to get all the words out that he could. You could see the panic in his eyes that he might end up saying the wrong thing. He was too adorable

You took a step into him, dropping your hands so they were at your sides. Still holding his hand. Your fingers slipped in between his, which cut him off from speak. Your heart was racing as you gazed up into his eyes. Both of our faces moving towards each other.

You decided to step up on your tiptoes. He smirked lightly, always loving how much shorter you were than him.

A chorus of "Happy New Year!" echoed from inside the house. You could hear it from other people who gathered on their rooftops and from the street below. Fireworks went off around you, signaling the start of 2024.

"Happy New Year, Yunho," you whispered. Without wasting anymore time, you tilted your head up to fully press your lips against his. His hands left yours to hold onto your hips, keeping you stable. You weren't the type of person from traditions, but this was one you couldn't pass by.

You always learned from your past and took those life lessons into the new year. And it seemed like Yunho was ready to do the same.

He squeezed your hips affectionately, smiling against your lips. You couldn't fight off the smile on your lips as well. His lips chased after yours slowly, wanting to savor this moment but also to show you through his actions that his words carried weight with them. He wanted you to know everything was genuine.

2024 was a new year, a new chapter for you and Jeong Yunho.

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