What books do you think everyone should read?

Have you ever considered that octopi may be the best huggers?

What's the best sound? (Personally I say windchimes)

What is the best thing to dip pizza in?

Is Bigfoot was real, he might be, would he be hot?

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Ngl I have not thought of that before 👀 I could see them being the best huggers……. Or just very slimy and slippery 😂

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Oooo windchimes are so so lovely 🥰🥰🥰

In my opinion the best sound is a cappella music. Or even just choir music. Where different voice types come together and create beautiful harmonies 😍💖

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I don’t typically dip my pizza in anything tbh

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I meeeaaaaannnn I could see it 👀👀

I’m into tall and hairy people 🫣🤭

Devil in disguise... Part 6/?

Lee Bodecker x reader series

<Part 5<

Warnings: swearing, violence, fat shaming, use of the word whore as an insult

Part 6

"Oh, before they get here, I wanna talk to ya'." Mary whispered as the two of you took your seats at the movie theater.

You gave her a questioning look. "Before who gets here?"

Mary waved her hand, ignoring your question before she placed it on your arm with a soft sigh. "I think ya' oughtn't be seen with him so much."

You frowned in confusion at her, "Who? My grandpa?"

"No, silly, who'd ya' think." She huffed. "That fat shit. Bobby-Ray told us he ruined your date." Mary sighed. "Who'd he think he is?" She huffed.

"A loser fat shit." Your other friend, Sally, snickered from beside Mary making her laugh.

A scowl crept into your face as you realised who the two of them were talking about. "... You mean, Sheriff Bodecker?" You asked.

"Yes." Mary huffed. "Boy, does he get on my nerves."

"He's as crocked as they come. Pa says he killed a man before." Sally muttered around a mouthful of popcorn.

You glared at her and let out a frustrated sigh. "The Sheriff didn't ruin the date, Mary. I ain't wanna go on the damn thing in the first place." You huffed.

"You were just nervous, sweetie. Bobby-Ray said so himself."

"Bobby-Ray is a liar." You hissed.

She rolled her eyes. "Don't be so stupid." She scoffed. "Look, because I'm such a good friend, I thought I'd do ya' a favour." She grinned, nodding over your shoulder as she clapped her hands together.

You felt your stomach drop with dread as you looked behind you. "Why is he here?" You hissed at Mary quickly looking away from Bobby-Ray. He wore an almost sadistic smirk as he walked towards you.

"Because that loser of a sheriff ruined your date. Look... Bobby-Ray is mad about you, sweetie." She grinned as she leaned in, "Rumour has it he's gonna pop the question."

"Stop!" You stood up abruptly. "Excuse me... I need to use the powder room." You faked a smile before you quickly moved passed her and Sally, avoiding Bobby-Ray successfully.

God damn, you hated the way people spoke about Lee. He had his faults, every man and woman did. And so what if he killed someone, some people deserve to die, especially in the shit hole place you lived.

Before you had even realised your feet had taken you to the payphone that sat in the lobby of the movie theater and you held the candy wrapper with Lee's home number on. It put a smile on your face, thinking about his sweet tooth.

"Yeah, Bodecker residence." His deep voice sent shivers down your spine and caused a needy little whine to leave your mouth. "Hello?"

"Sheriff," You sniffled, quickly wiping your frustrated tears away. You hadn't even realised they were there.

"Sugar, that you?"

"Uh-huh," You whispered. "I need ya' to come save me, Lee."

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" Lee's tone had shifted more towards a panicked one as he listened to you sniffle again.

"Bobby-Ray," You glanced over your shoulder making sure you weren't being watched, "He's here, and I'm scared. Mary set us up on a date."

"Okay, baby, on my way. Stay by the doors and stay in sight of people at all times, okay?" Lee ordered softly.

You hummed, "Yes, Sir."

You weren't sure how long you were waiting by the doors before you decided you'd be okay stepping outside. It was getting stuffy inside and you'd make sure to stay in sight. You instantly felt better being in the cool air, even though you knew Mary and Sally would be wondering where you'd gotten to. And most likely Bobby-Ray, who won't hesitate to come looking for you.

You tried to ignore what Mary had said, but you couldn't help thinking about it. Surely Bobby-Ray wasn't going to 'pop the question'? You couldn't stand him. And he most certainly wasn't the man you wanted to marry.

"Goin' somewhere, sweetness?" You jumped at the sound of Bobby-Ray's voice. He smirked at you even more as he began to move closer. "It ain't nice to ignore your date, Y/N."

You glared up at him. "Y'ain't my date."

"Sure I am. I had to do something after that fat fuck of a sheriff ruined our first one." He stood close to you, reaching up to touch your cheek.

"Don't fuckin' touch me!" You slapped his hand away from you.

He grabbed a hold of your hand in one hand and your jaw in the other, slamming you against the wall. "Watch your mouth, bitch." He spat. "Maybe I should force it shut, hmm."

"Screw you!" You raised your knee into his gut hard, trying to push him off you but it was no use, he was much bigger than you.

Bobby-Ray pushed you harder against the wall, pressing his face closer to your ear. "He only fucks whores, Y/N. Y'know that?" He snickered. "Must make you a whore too, hmm, like his sister."

"Don't fuckin' talk about Lee like that." You tried to push him away but he dropped his hand to your throat.

"So it's Lee now. You really are a whore, ain't ya'. That why ya' went to his office? You suck his cock for money? Hmm. So your grandpa don't borrow no more money from Ma. You a whore?" Bobby-Ray squeezed.

You gasped for air and your vision began to blur but Lee was behind Bobby-Ray ripping him off you before you knew it.

Lee's anger spilled out of him and he punched Bobby-Ray in the gut before landing one on the side of his jaw. "I warned ya'," Lee spat as he held Bobby-Ray by the collar.

He was about to open his mouth to say something else but stopped when he heard you crying behind him. He looked over his shoulder before pushing the younger man away from him.

"Sugar," Lee reached out for your hand, pulling you into his chest as you sobbed quietly. "Shh, I go'cha." Lee pressed a kiss to your forehead, his hard glare set on Bobby-Ray. "I warned ya', never to come near her again. Watch ya' back, Bobby-Ray, and tell your mother I'll be seein' her real soon. Ya' hear?"

The moment Lee was sat next to you in the cruiser he drove off not even bothering to put his seat belt on. "Lee, can-" You let out a shakey breath. "Can... I sit close to you?" You sniffled.

Lee's heart broke. He nodded, moving his arm to the back of the seat as he continued to drive. "Sure, Sugar, c'mere."

You quickly slipped over the seat and curled up into him, breathing in his scent with a soft smile. Lee placed his head on top of yours and continued to drive the two of you in silence.

Eventually he stopped on a dirt road that hardly ever got used but kept you where you were. He was enjoying having you pressed close to him and he wanted to be selfish for a little while.

You sat back from him and looked up at him. "Thank you, for coming for me."

Lee smiled a little at you. "Ya' really think I wouldn't?"

You blushed, shaking your head. "I wouldn't blame you if ya' didn't. Aren't you gettin' tired of me?"

"Oh, Sugar, sweetheart," Lee whispered as he reached out and lightly stroked your cheek with his thumb. "Ya' really got no idea do ya'?" He asked already knowing the answer as you looked at him with innocence swimming in your eyes.

"Of what?"

He smiled softly at you, using his thumb to wipe your tears from under your eyes. "Y'know you're the only person who ain't work at the station, who has my home number. Y'know why?" You shook your head. Lee smiled, "Cause ya' special to me, and I want ya' to be able to get hold of me, any time of the day. I'll always come get ya'."

You blushed and quickly looked down, trying to shy away. "Thank you..."

Lee hummed, tilting his head to the side as he noticed you frown, "What is it?"

"Bobby-Ray said... I was," You sat back from Lee taking a deep breath. "He said I was a-"

"I heard what he said." Lee huffed cutting you off, "He ain't know what he's talkin' 'bout, Sugar. You and I both know, y'ain't a whore." Lee placed his hand over your cheek. "Don't listen to a damn word he said."

You nodded with a soft smile as you placed your hand over his, pulling it into your lap. "He said something else... 'bout your sister,"

Lee frowned, "Sandy?" You nodded. "What he say?"

"The same thing about me..." You whispered. "He also said, that you, hmm... That I must be, a... A whore, because that's all, you-" Your face burned as you kept your eyes on your hand that still held Lee's.

Lee let out a long exhale through his nostrils, grinding his teeth in irritation. "What else he say?"

You shook your head, "Nothin', that's it." You lied. If you were being honest, you were a little scared to tell Lee what else was said.

"Don't lie to me, Sugar." Lee spoke in a commanding tone, moving to face you. "You can tell me." His voice softened as he lifted your hand in his as he pulled you closer to him.

You shook your head again, "Don't want ya' to be mad... Or upset." You whispered.

Lee sighed, "I won't be, promise." He gave you a soft smile.

You nodded taking a deep breath. "They said some things, that weren't nice... about you."

"They?"

"Bobby-Ray, and my friends, Mary and Sally... They called you a..." You trailed off, not wanting to say but Lee nodded for you to carry on. You let out a small sigh before continuing, "... They called you a fat shit... And, Sally said you were crocked... 'cause her father had said you'd killed a man." You frowned. "I don't care if you did, or didn't, but I can understand why you might... 'cause right now I wouldn't mind gettin' rid of 'em..." You huffed with a pout.

The corner of Lee's mouth twitched, threatening to break him as he thought about how cute you looked in that moment.

"Mary said, there's a rumor goin' round that, Bobby-Ray, is gonna pop the question to me. Why can't no one see, I ain't want nothin' to do with him..." You felt yourself tearing up again, "I try to tell 'em but they just don't listen."

"Shh, c'mere baby." Lee pulled you into his chest before you started crying and pressed a kiss to your forehead. "I go'cha." He let out a heavy sigh. "I know, y'ain't want nothin' to do with him... Y'ain't got nothin' to worry 'bout no more, ya' hear?"

You pulled back just enough to look up at him. "Y'ain't gotta get in trouble for me, Sheriff."

Lee began smiling, reaching up to brush a piece of your hair from your forehead. "I can get into trouble on my own, Sugar." He dropped your gaze momentarily. "Ya' really don't care if I've killed someone?"

You shook your head, "No, 'cause some people just have to die... And, I feel the same way 'bout you, as I do 'bout my mamma. She killed my daddy 'cause he was a bad man, but I still love her." You whispered, toying with the cuff of his shirt. Did you just admit you love the Sheriff? "Ya' know... I ain't think... Those things, about you, right?"

Lee stared at you in bewilderment. You were something else. "I'm no good, sweetheart. Ya' should believe those things."

Your eyes widened as you looked at him in horror. "Now who's lying."

Lee scoffed, "I ain't. I'm a bad man, Sugar. I ain't... Sweet, like you." He shook his head and looked out the window.

"You're kind, even if it is only to me and my grandpa, but that's all I care about. The rest of that shit hole of a town can go... To hell." You smiled at him. "If ya' didn't care, would ya' be here?"

Lee shook his head as he looked back at you. "Wanna get something to eat?"

You nodded, "... Can we share a milkshake?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @est19xxshit @acciosiriusblack @stucky-my-ship @the-girl-wh0-cries-w0lf @greeneyedblondie44 @saphic-susperia @moonlacebeam @charmed-asylum

Frantic -- Matthew Tkachuk (Pt.2)

a/n: And by popular demand we have part two. Hope you guys enjoy!

Part One

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Instantly a smile covered your face as you pressed confirm. Your instagram was nothing of scandal, mainly  paintings or doodles, a few pictures of you and Emily, and some vacation photos from last summer in Muskoka that you knew Matthew will enjoy. When Mitch reentered the room he shot you a puzzled look.

“What’s got you so chipper mini?” He teased, using the nickname your mom affectionately gave you when you were four and in a phase where you followed Mitch everywhere.

Chuckling, you shrugged your shoulders, “Emily sent me a really funny video of Nick in a facemask.” He laughed at the thought and the topic was dropped.

Around 1am, Mitch was blacked out on the couch next to you so you took the blanket you had wrapped around you and you tried to place it as softly as possible on your sleeping brother. After turning off the TV, you headed into their bathroom to borrow Steph’s makeup wipes. As you stared at yourself in the mirror for the first time that day and you could really see how tired you were. The all nighters of  homework and the rush and fall of going to games had started to catch up with you. You quickly slipped into Mitches closet and grabbed one of his old London hoodies and a pair of boxers. Once you found yourself in your pajamas and the warm embrace of the guest bed you flicked your eyes on your phone once again.

*Matthew_Tkachuk has sent you a message*

Intrigued by what the boy has to say you slid over the notification and unlocked your phone.

Matthew: first of all, what the fuck? Had I know it was you I wouldn’t have said what I said

Y/N: what?

Matthew: You didn’t think to mention that you're a mini marnie princess?

Y/N: why does it matter matty? Not like I live with him anymore. I’m an adult now Matty

Matthew: You’re still Mitches kid sister Y/N! I can’t just brush that off

Your chest ran tight after hearing him call you a kid. You knew you were younger but didn’t see the big deal about it.

Y/N: Oh give me a break, I’m 19, I’m all grown up now Tkachuk

Matthew: prove it, move this to snap and put your money where your mouth is ;)

Your heart fluttered in your chest but before you could enjoy it you found yourself mentally scorning yourself. This was your brother's old teammate and a family friend. Hell, you and Tayrn were attached at the hip everytime you two were together. There was too much history. Even though everything in your mind screamed no you found yourself accepting his proposal anyway before drifting off to sleep.

The next morning you woke up to find there was a sticky note placed firmly on your forehead. Pulling it off slowly, you flipped it over and it read ‘Went out for lunch with some of the team. Text me when you wake up’ The fact he couldn’t have just texted you that made you roll your eyes. You slowly lifted yourself out of the bed and started your staggered walk to the guest bathroom.

The sight in the mirror this morning was actually pretty cute. Your braids were slightly a mess from the night before but it went nicely with how Mitches sweater fit you and how his boxers hung off your hips. You snapped a picture of you throwing up a peace sign and posted it on your story with some witty caption about stealing Mitch’s clothes and looking better in them before hopping in the shower.

After departing from the warmth of the shower you changed back into your jeans from the night before and kept the sweater on. You ordered yourself some food and pulled out your laptop to get some school work done. Before you dove into art history and marketing techniques you opened a snapchat from Matt.

It wasn’t anything groundbreaking. He was sitting in a restaurant somewhere in a nice polo shirt. You could see half his face and his curls were pushed up with a red bandana. You stared at it for so long that you almost forgot to read what it said. ‘Snazzy hoodie you got there mini marnie, too bad it has the wrong name on the back’

You followed suit with your response, only sending half your face with a smirk plastered to your lips. ‘See Marner suits me so much better than Tkachuk so I think I’ll stick with this one!’

Matthew smiles at his phone. He was at a team lunch with the Flames and a few Leafs to catch up before they had to head back to Calgary. It was nice to see all the boys again, especially Mitch even though he had a different Marner on his mind. The lunch was overall pleasant even with all the dirty looks he had got from Auston any time anyone mentioned Y/N. As hard as it was for him not to spew endless chirps, he knew if he ever wanted a shot with you he knew he had to bite his tongue.

Deciding taking photos wasn’t the smartest way to hide what he was doing he texted you back instead. “Ouch Y/N that one hurt a bit. Hopefully in a few years you’ll change your mind ;)”

Y/N: In your dreams, Tkachuk. The team already has me destined to be with Aus so you gotta get in line.

Seeing those words made a fire erupt in his body. He knew you were probably just joking around but the idea of Auston getting to hold you made his blood run cold. Maybe that friendly warning wasn’t in the best interest of Y/N but Auston being selfish.

Matty: Auston has nothing on me sweetheart.

His words stopped you in your tracks. You never thought the juvenile feelings you had for Matthew would ever be reciprocated but here he was playing the game right back.

Y/N: I don’t know Matty, I’ve seen what Austons packing

As soon as Matthew read your text he slammed his phone down with a ‘Fuck’ that was a bit too loud making all the guys look at him.

“What’s your deal?”  Johnny asks, confused at his sudden outburst.

“Nothing.” Matthew says before he picks his phone backup and answers his text.

Matthew: I’m sorry what?

Before you answered, your mind drifted back to the previous summer. Mitch had invited the team and their girlfriends up to your cottage for one of the long weekends. It was a really fun weekend filled with drinking, boating, bonfires and even more drinking. On the last night there, Auston had a bit too much and proceeded to take off his swim trunks and run full force into the lake. Thinking it was hilarious, a few of the other boys followed suit. Unfortunately, because of where you were sitting when this happened, you saw a bit more of your brother's teammate than you would like to.

Snapping back to realted you messaged him back.

Y/N: you read what I sent

Matthew: tell me how good he was and then let me show you something better princess.

A mad blush crossed your face at the thought of Matthew showing you what he could do. You pushed those thoughts out of your head and began work on the lecture notes you were avoiding. Trying your best to push the thought of him having his way with you out of your head.

A few hours passed and the boys all crashed into Mitches apartment. Mo, Jake, and Zach set up shop on the bar stools across from you as Auston draped himself over your shoulders. Mitch leaned over the edge of the counter, all of them talking over each other. You missed having a house full of players all having fun. Matthew texted you again and you quickly turned your phone over before anyone could see it but you weren’t fast enough. Hearing your phone go off and seeing Auston look over your shoulder, Jake shot him a look to which Auston just shook his head and they both frowned knowing it was Tkachuk. Still typing away on your computer, Aus reached down putting his hands on yours and the pressure alone messed you up. As you went to scold him Jake interrupted you.

“So Y/N did you hear the Sandman and his girlfriend broke up?”

“I didn’t actually, I thought they were gonna get engaged?” Not looking up from your screen you tried speaking with as little interest as possible.

He shrugged his shoulders then continued “Guess it didn’t work out” He took a slight pause while Auston nodded at him  “Maybe you two should go out. Mitch mentioned at lunch you aren't seeing anyone.”

“I’m not sure dating another leaf is a good idea.” You responded still trying to feign interest.

“I think that would be a great idea.” Aus chimed in from behind you.

“I don’t remember asking what you thought, Auston.” You bite back.

You could cut the tension between you and Auston with a knife. After about a minute of no one saying anything, Mitch clapped loudly to catch the group's attention before he spoke.  

“Alright boys I think it's time for some Modern Warfare” The boys all nodded and headed towards the living room.

Auston leaned in close, whispering in your ear before going to meet the others, “It’s cause he’s young right? I know guys my age are more your speed these days.”

You flinched slightly, “I don’t know what you're talking about” You tried to say as smoothly as possible.

“If you say so, pest.” The last word basically being spat at you with a hostility you had never felt from him before. He finally let go of you and headed for the living room.

With that comment you had had enough and excused yourself to head back to your apartment. On your way down to the lobby knowing you were safe from the watchful eye of Auston and Jake you decided to answer Matthew.

Matthew: Y/N? Did I say something that's going to get me in trouble?

Y/N: Sorry, got distracted by some homework. Since when is Matty Tkachuk afraid of causing a little trouble ?

Part Three

Lonely Stars Chapter Five

Trigger Warnings: swearing, fainting/ blacking out, scarification/ getting the Dark Mark, self harm, mentions of blood, family arguments/ being disowned

Age 16      The Great  Hall was practically empty, almost all the other students had retired to their house common rooms or wherever tickled their fancy after dinner had finished. Regulus was seated with me at the Ravenclaw table, hunched over his Astronomy homework, his face a concentrated frown while I flipped through a book I had recently borrowed from the library.      "I'm getting a tattoo tonight," Regulus says casually, not looking up from his homework.      I look at him in surprise, "Of what?"      He glances up at me and shrugs his shoulder, "It's not really a tattoo I guess,"      "What do you mean?"      "I'm getting the Dark Mark," He says in a hushed tone. "I think you should come with me."      I shift on my chair and close the book I was reading, "I don't know Reg, that basically brands you."      He swallows, his Adams apple bobbing before saying, "I'm getting it, Barty and Lucius are doing it to me."      I nod slowly, "Okay. If that's what you want to do."      He glances back down to the parchment in front of him, "It is." And then we fell back into a comfortable silence.                                                          <>      It was the next morning when an unexpected owl arrived for me carrying an envelope. After I remove the envelope that was tied around the owl's leg I fed it a bite of my breakfast sausage before it flew away. The envelope was addressed to me, with the return address coming from my Mother; my brow furrowed in confusion as I open the letter, wondering why she was possibly writing to me, unless it was a dreaded howler she occasionally sends to Sirius. Aurelia, It has come to your father's and I's attention that Regulus has decided to proudly join Voldemort's revolution and get the Dark Mark on his arm. As we are very proud of him, please send him our love. See you for summer holidays, we will send a driver as usual for you and Regulus. -Walburga Black      I scrunched up the letter as tears welled in my eyes from frustration. If she wanted to send Regulus my parent's love and affection then she should have written him the damned letter, not me. Why could she never be proud of me? It was always about Regulus, the perfect child, the better twin, nothing ever about me and my accomplishments regardless of how hard I tried or how often I strived for their approval.      I look around the Great Hall for Regulus, spotting him leaving breakfast with his friends Lucius Malfoy and Barty Crouch Junior. Shoving my chair back, I grab my bookbag, shoving Mother's letter deep inside and take off after my brother, finally catching up to him and his friends down the hall.      "Reg!" I call, jogging towards him. He turns to me and smiles lightly,      "Aurelia,"      I stand a few feet from him and his friends, who eye me with curiosity, I look down at the floor sheepishly, "I'll do it. I want it."      His forehead creases in confusion, "What?"      I look up at him and spit the words out quickly before I could think about what I was about to do. "I want the Mark."      He takes my arm and pulls me closer to him, causing his friends to also step closer, "Are you sure? I thought you said it was a bad idea."      I shake my head and swallow the lump forming in my throat, "I'm sure. I want it."      Regulus looks quickly at Lucius and Barty who look both surprised and intrigued but then back to me, nodding. "Okay, let's go somewhere more private."      I follow him and his friends down a series of hallways until we stopped in a quiet corridor that looked almost like no one had come down this way in a very long time. Barty pulls out his wand as I roll up my white shirt sleeve to the elbow, Regulus pulls me to the side quickly,      "You're sure about this?" He asks, the same grey eyes we shared filled with concern.      "Just get it over with." I say through gritted teeth.      Barty jerked his head towards Lucius and Regulus, "Hold her down."      I go to sit on the floor, my bookbag discarded across the floor, "It's better if you lie down Lia." Regulus suggests and I do as he says. Regulus places his hands on my shoulders, forcing them flat on the floor as Lucius holds my hand and the crook of my elbow down.      I grit my teeth as Barty asks if I'm ready, I look up at Regulus who gives Barty a quick nod. I knew it was going to hurt but as Barty whispered the quick spell of Mosmordre I felt like my skin was having a hot metal spike burning away a pattern on my inner forearm. I cry out as I feel the skull and snake mark etch itself onto my skin, a dark black mess that made me scream bloody murder.      "Lia it's okay," Regulus tries to say as I fight against his grip, trying to desperately get away from the searing pain. I could barely hear him over the blood rushing through my ears and my screams of pain. My vision is spotted with black stars as Regulus covers my mouth with his hand, silencing my wails.      "Mother sends her love," I mumble around Regulus' hand as I succumb to the darkness that floods my vision.                                                             <>      I wake to angry voices arguing about something I couldn't comprehend. I was lying down, a soft pillow under my head and a green knit blanket covering my body loosely. I blink away the bleariness covering my eyes to see my brothers, Sirius and Regulus, arguing about something, both of their faces screwed up with anger and frustration.      "It's none of your damn business Sirius." Regulus hisses, his hands balling into fists.      "It's my business when I see you carrying our sister who's passed out with a bloody branding on her arm!" Sirius growls back, pointing a finger at me. I whimper, my throat stinging and raw from my previous screams, this caught my brothers attention, Regulus quickly come to my side, kneeling before me.      "You okay Lia? You really scared me," Regulus whispered, brushing back some hair that fell in my face before I could.      "I'm okay," I whisper, glancing down at my arm; the sleeve of my shirt had rolled down slightly, covering most of the deep black marks that was now permanently etched into my skin. I sit up slowly, my body shaking slightly from the sudden movement.      "I can't believe you two." Sirius said harshly, shaking his head.      "Sirius, stop, now's not the time." Regulus hissed, shooting him a look I couldn't see.      "You got a fucking branding Regulus! And you convinced Lia to get one too!" He shakes his head in both disapproval and disgust.      "Sirius-"      "He didn't convince me!" I plead, looking to Sirius with big eyes. "Please understand,"      "Understand?" Sirius exclaims and lets out a laugh. "Understand that both of you just joined a fucking cult? Understand that you're just pawns in a giant game of chess?"      "Please," I whisper.      Sirius shakes his head and looks away, "Unless that Mark disappears, you're both dead to me." With those words he storms out of the Slytherin common room.                                                                <> Regulus      It was late at night, the library illuminated by the soft glow of half burnt out candles that floated nearby. The library was practically empty, only the occasion student sitting at tables hunched over books for classes they were most likely failing anyway. I was walking towards the back of the library, towards the restricted section, hoping to get my hands on another book about the dark arts.      As I walked past the hundreds of bookshelves piled high with endless amounts of books I suddenly hear a small crash and a soft but familiar voice cursing under their breath.      I follow the voice until I find my sister in the Muggle Studies area of the library, a area I hardly ever frequented. She was crouched down, picking up several books she had dropped, her long thick black hair shielding her face.      "Aurelia? What are you doing here so late?" I question, helping her pick up the remainder of her fallen books.      "N-nothing," She stuttered, taking the books back quickly. "Go away."      I take one of the books from her pile, Muggle First Aid: Wound Repair Volume I read the title, I flick my eyes back up to her, her face was paler than usual and she looked scared. She snatches the book back, "It's nothing Reg, don't worry about it."      As she pulls her arms back, I can see red has seeped through her left blue sweater sleeve. Before she can protest or move, I take her wrist in my hand and pull up the sleeve. I nearly gasp from what I saw, a bloody hack job on her forearm, the Dark Mark cut away by what looked like a blade or a razor. The cut was still oozing blood and looked very painful.      "It wouldn't come off," She whispers, her voice cracking, her eyes refusing to meet mine, only staring at her bloody arm.      "Did Sirius make you do this?' I ask quickly, knowing that if my older brother had anything to do with the harm of my sister I would surely kill him.      She shakes her head, her dark curls moving as she did. "I just want him to talk to me Reg, he looks at me like I'm dirt, not his sister."      For a moment I was dumbfounded. Truthfully, I didn't care what Sirius thought of me or if he disapproved of me joining Voldemort. The only reason why I still spoke to him was because of Aurelia, and if she weren't here I doubt we would even have a relationship anymore. I gently roll back down Aurelia's sweater sleeve, careful not to cause anymore damage to her arm and I grab her stack of books.      "Go wait outside, I'll check these out and then we'll get you cleaned up."

5 times Klaus regretted wearing a skirt +1 time he didn’t

1.

Considering he was a child soldier who heard the screams of the dead, being queer was not the strangest thing about Klaus Hargreeves by a long shot. Still, he wasn’t quite sure what to think when he started liking boys as well as girls (and everyone in-between) at age eight. Or when he realized he wasn’t quite a boy a year later. 

He knew not to tell anyone. That was the last thing this family needed. Besides, Klaus already felt so isolated from his siblings, he knew being ‘the gay one’ wouldn’t help matters. So, he kept to himself, and occasionally he’d find ghosts who were nice enough to talk to about things. There was one ghost in particular who he enjoyed to talk about boys with- a blond soldier, who told Klaus that he was also gay. 

Once when he was nine, Klaus met a ghost who looked like a woman, but talked like a man. They told Klaus they were what was called a drag queen. Klaus’ eyes lit up as the ghost talked to him of dressing up in skirts and makeup. He was so entranced by it all that he could nearly ignore the gruesome strangle marks and bruises around the ghost’s neck. 

That night, while Allison was off in the attic with Luther, Klaus snuck into his sister’s room and picked out her nicest skirt. He ran back to his room and locked the door behind him, ignoring the dead around him. 

Klaus looked in the mirror on the back of his door as he put the skirt on. Smiling, he twirled around a few times and watched the pink fabric spin with him. He liked this. It was loads better than the stupid outfits his dad made him wear. 

He was so caught up in his happiness that he didn’t notice the door was opening until it hit him in the face.

“Klaus! Oh my gosh, are you okay?” He heard his sister’s voice from the ground he’d been knocked to.

“What are you wearing?” Luther’s voice this time, a little behind Allison.

Klaus sat up tentatively and wrapped his arms around his knees. “Nothing?”

Allison glared at him. “You stole my skirt!” 

Klaus jumped up and took the skirt off, disappointed to remember how he looked with just jeans on. “I only borrowed it! For a bit!”

Allison said nothing, just snatched the skirt back from him and looked it over as if to make sure Klaus hadn’t ruined it for the two minutes he’d had it.

“Why’d you even want to wear that?” Luther asks. “You’re not a girl.” 

Klaus knew his brother didn’t mean for the words to hurt, but they did. A lot. 

He shrugged, not making eye contact. “Dunno. Wanted to see what I looked like.”

Luther just looked confused. Allison rolled her eyes. “You’re so weird, Klaus.” 

They left his room, leaving the door open. Klaus could smell his father’s cigarette smoke coming up from downstairs, and for what wasn’t the first time, he wanted more of that smell. 

2.

It took three years, but Klaus finally got his sister to let him borrow her skirt. He hadn’t asked for a while after the last time because of how badly it had gone, but he couldn’t stop thinking about how he looked while wearing it. And how he felt while wearing it. Klaus wanted to feel like that more.

So he’d started to butter up Allison- mostly by letting her use him as a test subject for all her makeup. Klaus did genuinely enjoy that, though. It gave him more time with his sister, time he’d never had before, and on the rare occasions Allison didn’t screw up and leave him looking like a reject clown, he loved how it felt to wear makeup and have painted nails. 

Klaus finally felt brave enough to make his skirt request one day when Allison had just finished painting his nails a dark blue.

“These match perfectly with that skirt of yours, Al.” He said, nodding toward the where said skirt was hanging in the open closet. 

Allison gasped a little. “They do! You should put the skirt on!” 

Klaus resisted the urge to pump his fist. “Are you sure you’re okay with that?” 

Allison nodded eagerly, jumping off the bed to grab the skirt. “Of course!”

Klaus smiled, gladly taking the skirt from her and putting it on. It was long, meant to be floor length, and it nearly went down to his feet (he was a lot taller than Allison). The fabric was shiny and swishy and Klaus couldn’t stop twirling.

Allison clapped her hands suddenly. “Ooo! I just remembered something!” She grabbed her brother’s hand and started to drag him out of her room.

“What?” Klaus was curious, but wasn’t sure he wanted the rest of the family to see him in the skirt. Dad was in his office, though, and Klaus supposed everyone else would be fine with it. So he let his curiosity get the better of him. 

“I think I’ve seen Mom wear heels that are the same color as the skirt!” Allison was leading Klaus’ towards their mother’s closet. He had to admit, heels sounded very exciting. 

“They should be around here somewhere…” Allison muttered, tossing other shoes out of her way in search for this specific pair. “Oh! Here!” 

She turned and presented her brother with a pair of stilettos that sure enough, matched his skirt and nails. Klaus grabbed them and put them on. 

He promptly fell against the doorframe. “Shit!”

Allison laughed, taking hold of his arm and leading him out of the room. Slowly, Klaus sort of got the hang of walking.

“Christ, these are hard to move in!” He shakily let go of Allison’s arm, but he kept his own extended for balance.

“They’re not that bad once you get used to it. I borrow Mom’s heels all the time just to practice walking around in them.”

“Why in the world would you do that?”

Allison shrugged. “If I’m gonna be a famous movie star, I should know how to wear high heels.”

Klaus smirked. “Right, of course, how could I forget about your Hollywood plans.” He put on a high-pitched voice, “Look out world, I’m Allison Hargreeves!”

Allison slapped him, nearly causing him to fall again. “Just for that, I’m making you walk all the way downstairs to show Vanya your outfit.” She began to move down the staircase they had found themselves at the top of.

Klaus took this as a challenge. “Oh, you think I can’t go downstairs in these shoes? I bet you I can run downstairs in them.” 

“Klaus, that doesn’t sound like a good idea-”

He ignored her and took off. “Vanya!” The more people around to watch him beat Allison at something, the better.

Surprisingly, Klaus made it almost halfway down before something went wrong. He saw that his shoe was caught in the skirt, but not in time to stop it. 

“Klaus!” He heard Allison cry from above him as he crashed down the rest of the stairs, hearing the fabric of the skirt rip.

Jesus Christ, his mouth hurt.

Vanya and Allison reached him at the same time, and they worked together to pull him up from the floor.

“God, Klaus, you’re bleeding.”

Klaus spit out some blood and attempted to talk. “No shit.” 

His brothers all came running, having heard the fall from where they were training. Ben immediately crouched in front of Klaus and examined him with concern. 

“Dude, what did you do?!” Diego exclaimed.

Klaus tried to talk again, but it hurt too much. Allison answered for him. “He tripped while running down the stairs. Which I very clearly told him not to do…” She pointedly added, staring at Klaus, who spit blood at her and enjoyed watching her jump back with a shriek. 

“I think you broke your jaw.” Five said with shockingly little sympathy in his voice. “I’m going to go get Mom, she’ll know how to help.”

“You know, you shouldn’t have worn those heels. Something like this was bound to happen.”

“Gee thanks, Luther, I hadn’t thought of that!” Klaus managed to speak. Damn, it hurt to be sarcastic. 

“...Or the skirt.” Luther said, trying like always to get the last word in.

“Yeah, okay, I got it!” Klaus spat, raising his voice a little. It was the last he would speak for eight weeks, but at least Luther didn’t get the last word.

3. 

“Bennnnn!!!” Klaus hollered, knowing his brother was downstairs, but too high to be bothered to move. 

He lay his head on his bed, waiting to see if Ben had heard him. Judging by the footsteps coming up the stairs and the annoyed mumbling, he had.

“What?” Ben said, opening the door. He clearly wasn’t in the mood for Klaus’ bullshit, but Klaus had his mind set on something and he needed his brother to do it.

“I…” Klaus sat up shakily, gesturing at himself with a flourish, “am going to come out to Dad.”

Ben’s eyes widened and he moved fully into the room, closing the door behind him. “You’re… you are? Really? Now? Are you sure?”

Klaus lit a cigarette. “Yeah! Why not?!”

“I can think of plenty of reasons why you shouldn’t, the most notable being our father isn’t exactly warm and cuddly, and I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Awww,” Klaus batted his eyes at Ben. “You’re so sweet. But I’m fine. The guy has hurt me enough, I can deal with a little more. Plus, he already hates me for the drugs and shit, so this can’t make things all that much worse.”

Ben bit his lip and looked nervously at his brother. “If you’re sure, there’s nothing I can do to stop you. But you have to be careful.”

Klaus put an arm around Ben. “I am fifteen, now, brother, and I have lots of money that I’ve acquired through all sorts of legal means. Plus, Pops still needs me for missions and publicity stuff. And we all know I’m the pretty one, so he can’t fuck me up too bad.”

Ben laughed a bit. “Right. You’re the pretty one.” He stood, ignoring his brother’s offended gasp. 

“So. How are you gonna do it? Sit the whole family down for a chat?”

Klaus looked disgusted. “Hell no, that’s way too fancy. Plus I’m pretty sure everyone already knows, even though I’ve only officially told you and Diego so far. I’m probably just gonna dress up all feminine, go downstairs, and improvise.”

“As far as plans go, that’s about a three out of ten.” Ben remarked.

Klaus stood, throwing his extinguished cigarette aside. “Sounds good to me!”

Ben sighs. “What do you need me for? I mean, I’m glad you told me about this, but please tell me I’m not directly involved with your shitty plan.”

“I need you, brother dearest, to raid Allison’s room.”

Ben just stares at him. “No.”

“Come on! I gotta get femme stuff, and I haven’t bought any myself yet. And we both know Vanya doesn’t have any. I just need a skirt, a cute top, and some makeup.”

“And why can’t you acquire these things yourself?” Ben crosses his arms.

“Because she’s sick of me doing that, and she’ll get mad. But you’ve been elected Nicest Hargreeves, and she’ll never get pissed at you.”

Ben didn’t comment for a while, just stared at Klaus. Klaus thinks something about his whole sad, broken, victorian boy aesthetic must have convinced Ben, because the next thing his brother says is, “Fine.”

***

Half an hour later, Klaus is dressed in a sparkly pink skirt, a white crop top, and insane amounts of makeup. 

“You look pretty.” Allison smiles. Ben ended up having to fill her in on what was happening, but she was more than supportive. She just wanted to make sure her brother didn’t ruin her clothes again.

“Thanks, Al.” Klaus did love how he looked, but he was too nervous to appreciate it fully. His high had worn off and now he has no idea what made him think this was a good idea in the first place.

“Alright, you ready?” Ben asks. 

Klaus takes a deep breath. He looks at his brother and sister, smiling at him. His gaze sweeps over the corpses starting to reappear now that the drugs are wearing off. 

He makes eye contact with one of them, one he hasn’t seen in years, since the first time he wore Allison’s skirt all those years ago. 

The blond soldier smiles at him kindly, with what appear to be tears in his eyes. He says something that Klaus can’t quite hear from across the room, but it looks like he says ‘you’ve got this, soldier.’

“Number four!” Klaus hears Reginald call from the library. He flinches, but reminds himself that the disdain in his father’s voice has nothing to do with the way he’s dressed- not yet, anyway. 

He turns and looks at where Ben and Allison are huddled at the foot of the staircase. Ben gives him a thumbs up and Klaus walks into the library. 

“Yes?” Klaus responds, a cheeky tone in his voice that’s hopefully hiding the fear that’s hidden there.

Reginald turns to look at him, and Klaus nearly passes out in the seconds it takes for his father to scan him up and down.

“What on earth are you wearing!?”

Klaus does a little twirl, “a skirt. Among other things.” He thinks if he dissociates himself from the conversation and just lets his instinct take over, it won’t be quite as scary.

  “You can’t be wearing that.” Reginald replies instantly.

“Why not? I think I look quite dashing.”

“You’re a boy! It makes you look very queer, and that’s the last thing your reputation needs.”

Klaus resists the urge to look at his siblings again for encouragement. This moment is entirely yours, Hargreeves. They can’t help you now. 

“But I am! Queer, that is. Not quite a boy.”

Klaus feels a hand connect sharply with his face. 

It would hurt more if that same hand hadn’t hurt him loads of times before. 

His father is still talking, still yelling, still hitting him. Klaus ignores him. He wants out of this skirt. 

4. 

When Reginald didn’t accompany his children on missions, there were a few things that changed. Diego didn’t stutter as much, for one. And Ben wasn’t forced to kill quite as many people. Allison’s rumors weren’t quite as harsh, and Luther didn’t hit the bad guys quite as hard. They still got the job done- they were The Umbrella Academy, and even though they were getting older, they had a reputation to maintain- but they weren’t nearly as violent without their father there, encouraging them to hurt more people. 

As for Klaus, when he went on missions without dear old Dad, he wore and did whatever the fuck he wanted. He knew as well as all of his siblings that he wasn’t in any way helpful to missions unless somehow the job getting done required communication with ghosts. (And even if it did, Klaus would almost definitely be too drunk or high to talk to the dead.) So it had been unofficially decided that when Reggie let the kids do missions on their own, Klaus didn’t really do anything unless completely necessary, and they were all fine with that. 

Klaus still enjoyed tagging along on missions, though. He knew damn well that he was still a fan favorite, so to say. He was inexplicably more charming than any of his brothers, so interviews were mostly comprised of him and Allison being endearing and the rest of the siblings standing there looking tough. Today’s mission, Klaus was feeling bold enough to wear a skirt- one that actually belonged to him this time! Allison had bought it for him at their last birthday, and though she claimed to only be doing it so he wouldn’t keep stealing hers, it was a very sweet gift and Klaus was excited to finally wear it during a mission. 

The job was taking longer than it normally would, and Klaus was passing the time by making out with a very cute boy he saw watching him in the crowd. Klaus didn’t particularly want to hook up with his fans, but anyone that actually knew him was too repulsed by what they saw to want to be close to him, so he took what he could get. 

Eventually his siblings finished whatever they’d been doing, and Klaus was interrupted by a smack on his back. 

“Come on lover boy, we gotta go.” Diego said. 

“Fine,” Klaus whined. He took a pen from the boy’s pocket and scrawled his number on his arm. “Call me.” He winked and let Diego drag him away while rolling his eyes. 

It wasn’t until they got home that Klaus realized the consequences of what he’d been doing. 

The moment they walked in the door, Vanya was waiting there to greet them- which was odd, usually she was holed up practicing her violin. 

“Klaus!” She said, sounding panicked, grabbing her brother’s arm before he could walk past her like he was going to. 

“Uh… hi Vanny?” Klaus was unclear on what was happening. 

“Did you intend to come out on national tv?”

“I’m sorry, did I what?!”

“Come here!” Vanya kept a hold of Klaus’ arm and dragged him towards the nearest tv, the other siblings trailing behind them with concern.

Klaus had no idea what his sister was talking about. He was a bit scared, very confused, and also in no way surprised if Vanya was right and he had accidentally come out on national tv. That is one hundred percent on brand for Klaus Hargreeves. 

Sure enough, when they got to the tv, a news reporter was talking over a blurry photo of Klaus kissing the boy from the mission. The headline at the bottom of the screen read Umbrella Academy’s Klaus Hargreeves Secretly Gay? 

No one says anything for a minute as they all listen to the reporter talk. Finally, Klaus says, “I didn’t think I was keeping it a secret.” 

Ben laughs weakly beside him. “Yeah, guess the public just has a terrible gaydar.”

“Dad’s gonna kill you.” Diego whispers, getting a grunt of agreement from Luther. 

“Probably.” Klaus agrees, still staring at the screen where the reporter was now discussing/judging Klaus’ choice of clothing. “I feel bad for the kid, I hope they don’t identify him.” 

“The kid?” Allison remarks from behind Klaus. “Jesus, Klaus, do you not even know the name of the guy?”

“Didn’t cross my mind to ask.” Klaus responds, ignoring the sounds of horror from his siblings. “Vanya, where’s Dad?”

Vanya jumped a bit at her name. “Uh, I think he’s in his office. Do you want me to get him, or…”

“Hell no!” Klaus scoffed. He did not want to face his father about this. They had just gotten to a point where Reginald wasn’t constantly murdering Klaus with his stare for the first time since Klaus came out to him. But his Dad was definitely not going to love this latest development, since he had made it very clear that he didn’t want the world to know that Klaus was pan and non-binary. 

Klaus turned to leave, avoiding his siblings’ disappointed and judgmental looks. “I’m gonna go smoke.” He muttered.

Klaus tried to pretend he wasn’t bothered by what they were saying about him. And he did a pretty good job of it, at least in front of his family. But that night, alone in his room, he broke down. His father hadn’t come out of his office the rest of the day, and Klaus was terrified. He opened up his old laptop and went to the ‘trending’ section of the news. Among articles about some political debate and what type of lettuce was safe to eat, his face was scattered. He clicked on a handful of the articles. 

Klaus Hargreeves rumored to be gay.

The Seance caught kissing a boy!

Sorry girls! Looks like national heartthrob Klaus Hargreeves isn’t one for women.

Number Four, the Seance, seen wearing a skirt.

Klaus rolled his eyes at some of the headlines. He really didn’t want to make any sort of public statement on this whole disaster, but he would very much like to clear things up and make it crystal clear that he is ‘one for women’, thank you very much.

Not all the articles are that bad. They’re all somewhat insensitive, considering they’re all making assumptions about Klaus based off of one blurry photo, but some are decently respectful. Of course, Klaus only focuses on the ones that aren’t. 

One of the Umbrella Academy members found to be a queer.

Seems to me that a lot of people are no longer going to have a favorite member of the Umbrella Academy.

The Seance may be able to speak to the dead, but he can not pull off a skirt.

Klaus Hargreeves should stick to talking to ghosts from now on. 

Klaus reads them all in his father’s voice.

Abruptly, he jumps of his bed and rips off his skirt, throwing it across the room. He lets out a cry of frustration. 

Klaus spends the rest of the night doing dangerous amounts of drugs and drinking every last bit of alcohol he had stored in his room. The last thing he remembers seeing before he passes out is the ghost of the blond soldier watching him with concern from the corner of the room.

5. 

It took him 26 years, but Klaus Hargreeves was finally trying to pull his shit together. Well, more accurately- it took Ben Hargreeves 26 years to convince his brother to pull his shit together. 

Klaus had woken up in the back room of some bar/drug den, mostly naked with random people laying next to him. 

His brother stood above him offering a condescending hand to Klaus, since he knew Klaus couldn’t actually touch him. 

“Hey there. Your head hurt?” 

Klaus tried very hard not to rub his throbbing head, as to not prove Ben right. “Christ, don’t you ever go away? There’s no way I’m sober right now, so why the fuck are you still bothering me?”

Klaus knew why, and Ben knew he knew why. And somewhere, deep down, Klaus was glad Ben didn’t leave. He was glad there was always someone there when he hit rock bottom over and over again. But Ben was also really bloody annoying, always telling Klaus to ‘eat a vegetable’ or ‘take a shower’. Stupid stuff like that. 

“Klaus, why do you do this?” Ben asked suddenly, as Klaus was stumbling up off the floor.��

“Do what?”

“You know what. All of this. Drugs, booze, hooking up with random strangers and then never seeing them again, living on the streets, the list goes on and on.”

“Ben, are you really still asking me this? You’d think after twelve years of it, you would stop trying to get me to give up all my lovable quirks.”

“They’re not lovable quirks!” Ben snapped, even though he knew his brother was only joking and embellishing his words like always. “They’re… they’re terrible, awful things you do to yourself and I am the only person who’s stuck with you through it all because you’ve pushed away everyone else, and do you know how hard it is that you don’t listen to me? That I have to watch you live your life- something that I didn’t get to do- so dangerously, so irresponsibly, like you don’t even care whether you live or die!” 

“Well, maybe I don’t!”

Ben’s face softened. “Klaus…” He took a deep breath and started again. “Klaus, I know it’s hard. I know our childhood was shit, and our dad was abusive as all hell, and the ghosts are unbearable. I know all that. But it could all be so much better if you tried a little bit. If you sobered up enough to get a job, so you could get money, so you could an apartment. Klaus, I don’t care if you buy the shittiest, most rundown apartment in the whole city- I will cry tears of joy if you have a place to live for once. Or... or you could do what Diego does! You could work for someone in exchange to live with them. Speaking of Diego, what about trying to live with him? You know he loves you like crazy, even though he doesn’t act like it. Talk to him, talk to Allison for god’s sake, she’s filthy rich and I’m sure she’d give you money. You don’t have to isolate yourself from your family! God, I don’t understand why you all pushed each other away! Do you know how much I would give to be alive with all of you right now?! Why don’t any of you appreciate this life that you have! Klaus, you have no fucking idea how terrible it is to be dead and watch the people you love throw away their life!” 

Klaus didn’t know ghosts could cry. 

He watched in horror as his brother curled up on the floor, wiping away tears. Ben looked so small, like he was as young as he was when he was alive. Klaus blinked and saw their father standing over Ben, yelling at him for not trying hard enough. He blinked again and saw an eight-year-old Ben, sobbing on the floor of a bank after murdering a group of people for the first time. He saw every other time he walked into Ben’s room and saw him doing that after a mission- too many times for Klaus to count. 

“Okay.” He found himself saying. 

Ben looked up at him, standing hesitantly. “Okay… what?”

“I’ll try to find a job.” Klaus meant it, shockingly. Ben was right, and he knew it. He didn’t like it, but he needed to do something to thank Ben for sticking with him.

The look on Ben’s face made it all worth it.

***

“Bennn why is finding a job so hard?”

“Klaus, we’ve been looking for thirty minutes. That’s nothing. And I still think we should go see Diego or Vanya or someone with a computer so you can research places to work, not just wander around until you find something.”

“No, no, nope. I am being nice and doing something for you, but I promise you that by the time this hangover wears off, I will have lost all motivation to do so. We gotta get me some paperwork or shit so I’ll be legally obligated to not back out of this.”

“When has the law ever stopped you?” 

Klaus glared at his brother. “Giving up on this now…”

“You’re right, you’re right. I’m very proud of you. Let’s keep looking.” Ben reached out like he was going to pat Klaus’ shoulder, but stopped. Even after Ben being dead for nearly ten years, both brothers forgot sometimes that they couldn’t touch. Klaus would never admit it, but he would give anything to hug Ben again. 

They walked in silence for a few minutes, the mood brought down by the cruel reminder of Ben’s death. 

“Oh! Klaus!” Ben said suddenly, pointing at the window they were passing. Klaus followed his brother’s finger and saw the Help Wanted sign. 

“Well that looks promising…” Klaus wandered over to see what the store was. “Goodwin Hardware… a hardware store? That’s so boring!” 

“Come on, it’s the only place we’ve found. And at least there’s sharp objects you can play with!” Ben pleaded.

“Okay, calm down there Diego, I’m still going to check it out.” Klaus used the window as a mirror, adjusting his hair and overall trying to make himself a little less disheveled. He was wearing a blue button up and a silver skirt- both things he had found on the floor he woke up on, and he was pretty sure neither of them belonged to him the night before. 

Klaus walked into the store, the jingle of the bell on the door nearly as loud as Ben’s gasp of excitement. 

“Can I help ‘ya?” A gruff voice barked from the front counter. Klaus followed the voice to see an old white guy look up from the fishing magazine he’d been reading. Figures, Klaus thought- it was a hardware store after all, but Klaus had been hoping it was one of those cool, lesbian-owned hardware stores. 

Klaus felt himself freeze up, seeing just a little too much of his father in the man’s face, but Ben whispered encouragement from behind him, and together they walked to the counter.

“Hi, yes, I was wondering about your help wanted sign? You see, I’ve recently decided to acquire a job, and this looks like a lovely place-”

“No.” The man said, returning to his magazine like the conversation was over.

“...No?” Klaus repeated.

“I don’t hire queers,” The guy glanced up again and gave Klaus a look like it should have been obvious what he was talking about.

Oh.

Klaus heard Ben mutter his name from behind him, the same disappointed tone in his voice that Klaus was used to hearing.

“Well, sir, I don’t think being gay hinders my ability to shelf tools.” Klaus bit his lip as he spoke, trying his hardest to remain polite. Do it for Ben, do it for Ben, do it for Ben-

“Listen, sissy, I told you the answer’s no. Now get out of my shop.”

Okay that was it. Klaus reached across the counter and tore the magazine from the man’s hands, throwing it behind him. 

“You’re going to give me this fucking job!” Klaus hissed. He ignored the fact that Ben was telling him to stop, telling him that they would just find another opportunity. 

The man grabbed Klaus by the collar and pulled him close, scraping him across the wood of the counter. Klaus flinched, being reminded once again of his dad. 

“No, ‘m not. And if you know what’s good for you, you’ll get out of my store before I have to tell you a third time.”

Klaus spit in the man’s eye. A fist met his face. 

He woke up in what had lovingly been dubbed “his” prison cell. 

“God, my head…” He rubbed at his face, feeling a lump from where the man had hit him. 

“Oh. You’re awake.” Ben said from across the room. 

Klaus remembered all that had happened. (Although why he went to jail when he was the one who’d gotten hit, he wasn’t sure. Probably had something to do with the fact that his cop-in-training brother used arresting Klaus as an excuse to check up on him.)

“Ben, I’m sorry, I swear I didn’t mean to make this into a whole thing-”

“But you did! You egged that guy on when we could have just left and kept looking! Jesus, Klaus do you ever know when to stop?!” Ben rubbed his eyes and turned away from Klaus, making it clear the conversation was over and Klaus was left with a bitch of a hypothetical question. 

He picked at the fraying silver of his (not his) skirt. He closed his eyes and saw a tv headline, saw his father’s hand hitting him, saw the floor fall out beneath him, saw his brother and sister’s judgmental faces. 

Maybe he should stop wearing skirts. 

+1. 

Klaus had made a promise to himself that he would stop wearing skirts. Nothing good happened when he did. The only time he’d broken that promise since the hardware store incident was at his father’s funeral- sort of as a final fuck-you to Reginald. And hey, things couldn’t get any worse, right? At least that’s what he thought until his baby brother showed up, rambling about doomsday. 

But, Klaus had made that promise in 2016. And this was 1968. So technically, Klaus hadn’t made the promise yet. Besides, this skirt was really cute.

So Klaus bought it, bullshiting some excuse about buying it to send to his little sister back home (as if Vanya would ever wear this), because as nice as the Saigon residents were, he wasn’t about to tell them he was a gay soldier sneaking away from camp with another gay soldier. 

He and Dave weren’t fully sneaking around, exactly. Everyone in their unit had a break this weekend, it’s just that most of them weren’t in Saigon. Klaus wasn’t sure where they were exactly, but he knew that he and Dave weren’t in risk of being seen by anyone they knew. So they only had to worry the normal amount about being gay in the 60s! Yay!

Klaus sat waiting outside their motel room, because Dave was a sap and wanted to pretend like he was picking Klaus up for their date, even though they were staying in the same space. Not that Klaus minded- he loved that Dave was such a romantic. It was just one of the many, many things that made him different- and better- than any partners Klaus had before. 

It felt wrong, comparing Dave to other partners. They weren’t even on the same plane as him. Klaus had never been with someone because he cared about them before. He’d never really been with someone at all, actually. Three weeks didn’t exactly count as a long-term relationship, especially when he was only doing it for a place to sleep. The point was, Dave was different. Dave was special. Klaus knew it from the moment he saw him. Something about him looked familiar, like Klaus had known him before in a different time. 

It wasn’t like Klaus was planning on staying in the middle of a war that happened twenty years before he was even born, but he didn’t exactly have a reason to go back to 2019, either. And he realized about an hour into his time in Vietnam that he did have a reason to stay there- a blond, hot, blue-eyed, Jewish reason, to be exact. And look, it happened to work out well for Klaus (surprisingly, since things so rarely did) when a month later he learned that his reason for staying wanted him too.

Klaus was so lost in thought that he almost forgot how boring it was waiting for Dave. ...Almost. 

“Hey!” He stood, rapping on the motel door. “Hurry up!” Klaus didn’t care if Dave wasn’t ready to go out yet- in fact, it was probably more fun that way.

“God, Hargreeves, don’t you have any patience?!” Dave’s voice came all the way from the far side of the room, but Klaus could still hear the affectionate tone it carried. Dave only called Klaus by his last name when he was doing so in a teasing manner. Klaus called Dave by his a lot more, ever since he learned that David Katz was allergic to cats, and he never let him live it down. 

“Nope! None at all. Now c’mon, or I’m just gonna leave without you.” He wouldn’t, obviously, and Dave knew it too. 

Klaus heard footsteps on the other side of the door and he had a brief moment of panic about what he was wearing. Shit, why did he break his promise? Dave had seemed fine up until now about Klaus’ gender expression and the way he dressed or wore makeup or acted feminine, but what if he really wasn’t? Klaus knew it was already hard for Dave to be comfortable in his sexuality, and he didn’t want to be the reason Dave retreated back into the closet. The last thing this tentative gay soldier needed was a reminder of just how queer the man he was dating is. Klaus very nearly tore the skirt off, even though he wasn’t wearing anything underneath it, but the door opened before he could make that very stupid decision. 

He froze as Dave, wearing the same button-up he’d worn the first time they’d kissed and a new pair of pants he must have bought that afternoon, quickly gave Klaus a once-over. They made eye contact and Klaus instantly relaxed upon seeing the fondness in Dave’s eyes.

“You look beautiful.” Dave smiled.

Klaus entered the room, shutting the door behind him with one hand as he held Dave’s face in the other. He kissed him, smiling wide against Dave’s lips.

“What was that?” Dave asked when Klaus pulled away. 

“A kiss, you idiot.” 

“No shit, Klaus, I just didn’t know why you did it.”

“I did it because you complimented me and I am desperate for validation. Don’t flatter yourself or anything, I kiss everyone who says I look nice.”

Dave laughed, “you better not.” He was the one to kiss Klaus this time, pushing him against the door. 

“Hey.” Klaus held onto Dave’s shoulders and moved him far enough away that he could lock eyes with him. “I love you.”

Dave didn’t hesitate, didn’t flinch away or act disgusted, even though it was the first time Klaus had said it and he had been sure the response would be negative. 

“I love you too, Klaus.”

My Hero - Katsuki Bakugo x Reader

Well...Gonna dabble in something outside of my usual KH. I love so many of the characters, I hope to write more in the future. 

Music inspiration: Dangerously by Charlie Puth

~~~~~

              By the hand, I lead my guest up the steps towards the daunting throne. Her grip holds tight, nervous and afraid. I can understand that sentiment, feeling the anxiety bubble in my own chest. This is my zenith, the epitome of my years of careful planning. This will be the end.

              She takes a seat and the metal crown lowers, fitting carefully around the extremity she’s been fostering for years now. Once it’s in place, I take another look, noticing the fidgeting in her fingers.

              “Would you rather we postpone tonight?” I ask, genuinely concerned. I’m honestly just as nervous as she is; for all I know, my fear might’ve prevented me from moving forward tonight, so I put my emotions aside and follow her lead.

              “No.” In her single word, she’s confident; despite the tremor in her voice, she’s determined to see this through. “Whether it’s now or later makes no difference. This is the best choice for humanity.”

              A soft smile tugs at my lips. “You’re a true hero.” I attach a pair of cuffs to her wrists. “We’re almost done. Let me know if it’s uncomfortable.”

              “Yes.” There’s a pause. “How does this work again?”

              I step back to examine my work. “This machine will amplify both our quirks, allowing us to reach the entire world. Still sound like a plan?”

              She nods, silent in her sullen steadfastness.

              With my guest ready, I make my way towards the control panel nearby and begin making my final preparations.

              I’ve spent so long preparing for this exact moment. A storm of pride, anxiety, and anticipation swirl in my chest. I could scream to the whole world right now, but I must wait until the end to celebrate. I’ve sacrificed a lot to get here; blood, sweat, and tears have gone into my ambition—and I’ve given perhaps more than I should have.

              I can’t dwell on that thought; there’s no going back no. I made my choices and it’s too late to regret them.

              The room shudders.

              Tearing my attention from the panel, I look to the door at the far end of the room. A second rumble shakes the walls, even from its distant origin. There’s no mistaking what that is.

              Now on borrowed time, I pick up the pace, terrified of the fact I have no chance to double check my work.

              “What’s going on?” she asks, clearly uneasy in her vulnerable position.

              I don’t want to worry her but I can’t lie—honesty is the only reason she’s put her faith in me.

              “He’s here.”

              My hands race across the board, though I must admit that his known presence slows me down. It takes everything in me not to panic or slip up, but I’m simply not fast enough.

              He arrives.

              The door bursts open like a pressurized can. A furious predator—he steps into the room. Those molten ruby eyes instantly find me, subjecting me to that vicious snarl he wields. Only I know him well enough to see the veiled panic in that expression.

              “Hands up!”

              I lift my hands. Careful cooperation is my best move here. The hero holds all the power; nothing would save me if he decided to end me here. I have no henchmen, no allies, no back up; everything hinged on the secrecy I let slip somewhere. Now it all hinges on ragged memories.

              “Step away from the controls!”

              His name slips from my lips. “Katsuki…”

              “Shut up! It’s Dynamite to you!” he snaps. “Now get down here before I blow this whole place to hell!”

              “Wait. Please, just listen.”

              “No!”

              “I-”

              “I SAID NO!”

              Another blast destroys a wall of unused equipment. With all the authority granted to him by his title and power, he points at me.

              “I have no mercy for villains—especially you! Not after you left!”

              “Let me explain.”

              “You had your chance to explain and you chose not to. You disappeared without a word—no text, no note, nothing. And then you show up five years later on my fucking criminal report?! Stealing machinery and kidnapping people?!”

              My teeth clench. Katsuki has every right to be angry at me after how I left.

              “I would’ve done anything for you. I would’ve given up being a hero for you!” That hurts like a slap across the face. “And you just left. You left me to become a villain! Did you even care about me?!”

              “Yes!” My answer couldn’t leave my mouth faster. “Yes, I loved you; so much that it still terrifies me. I never wanted to leave you, but I had to. We wanted very different things, Katsuki.”

              “You could’ve talked to me. We could’ve worked something out.”

              “Your dream was to be the number one hero and I didn’t see you giving up that dream any time soon.” I gesture to him. “And look where you are now—standing at the top as the most powerful hero in Japan. But I never wanted anything to do with your world of heroes and villains.”

              “I knew that,” he snaps. “I know that you hate heroes but I made a promise! You didn’t think I could keep my word?!”

              “We were fifteen. We were naïve and you made a promise you didn’t understand.”

              “Bullshit I didn’t understand!”

              “Then you would keep it even now?”

              His scowl falters. This is my gambit—my only hope in stalling my failure—but it comes at the price of opening old wounds.

              My sight blurring, I demand, “Even in the face of everything I’ve done, you would keep that promise?”

~~~~~

              “Katsuki, stop!”

              Against my wishes, he bites harder. A yelp escapes me, finally convincing the young man to release me.

              With a self-satisfied smirk, he wipes away the saliva dripping from his mouth. I glare, dragging a sleeve against my neck.

              “You’re so mean.”

              His hand takes my chin, forcing our faces only inches apart. Dark allure fills his voice and he says, “No, I’m possessive. You should know that by now.”

              That simper nearly has me taking the bait, but I want to play this game. “You’re lucky my shirt collar will cover it up.”

              “Oh yeah?” Bringing his face closer, grazing my lips with his soft, smooth ones nearly causes me to cave. “I can change that.”

              “Don’t you dare.”

              “Or what?”

              I want to give, to feel his lips against my skin again, but I also want to win. Hands against his chest, I push him back. What I didn’t realize was that his bed was directly behind him and he pulls me down on top of him. I make my escape, sitting up to frown at the young man. He flashes another grin, one far rarer, with sincerity and softness—one just for me. He’s rough and stubborn and sometimes mean, but he’s everything I love.

              And that’s a problem.

              “Okay. Sheesh. I’m sorry.” His thumb presses between my eyes, smoothing out the scorn. “Just stop making that face.”

              Letting my eyes flutter shut, I soak in the feeling of his palm against my cheek. A soothing serenity rolls through me, giving me all the comfort I never had before. I lived in fear my whole life, but Katsuki could make it all melt away with a single touch—forgotten but not gone.

              A jolt of icy guilt settles in my stomach. There was a reason the make-out was so heated.

              I reopen my eyes to stare at him.

              All that softness vanishes. “Don’t give me that look.”

              “We can’t avoid this conversation forever,” I say, slipping to the side.

              With a huff, he sits up. “I don’t understand what the big deal is. So what if I want to be a hero. Why should that have anything to do with us?” My gaze drags away, however, a firm hand pulls it back. His eyes are hard and determined. “If I can’t avoid the conversation, you can’t either. So spill it; what’s the problem?”

              Pulling back, I take a moment to focus my thoughts. Katsuki and I met by chance, literally stumbling into each other on the street. Due to the nature of the bad day, I broke down, but I guess that abrupt act is what earned his pity. He sat with me until I could calm down. We passed by each other a few more times before he eventually asked me on a date. I fell hard, becoming entirely infatuated. But of all the things we spoke about, our prospective careers were not one of them until today.

              “My parents died during a fight between a hero and a villain.”

              When there’s no response, I peer up at him. He stares as if trying to understand. I probably should’ve kept my silence, but it’s out now.

              “The small town was practically leveled when they were done, including the shop my parents were in. And I was at home watching cartoons when the news came on. I got the worst phone call of my life that day.”

              “That must’ve been one tough villain.”

              Katsuki’s never been great with his emotions, that I understand; so, dealing with my baggage must be incredibly awkward for him. What I don’t get, though, is how blind he is.

              “The hero did just as much damage as the villain.”

              “Come on. Part of the job is to protect people. I bet-”

              Interrupting his defense, I meet his gaze with a hard glare. “It was the hero that killed my parents.”

              Unfazed, he replies, “So that’s it? You think all heroes are gonna do that?”

              “Can you promise me they’re not?” I’ve cried over this many times before, but that hit of resentment never hit quite this hard. “He destroyed my entire town—killed half the people that lived there! And do you know what happened to him?!” He waits for me to answer my own question, an uncomfortable scowl on his face. “Nothing! That fucker got off scot free with a slap on the wrist! My family, my neighbors, and friends! They meant nothing but a slap on the wrist!”

              Those warm palms are at my face again. “Hey, calm down.”

              Tearing away, I know I’m long gone. “What kind of society is willing to destroy thousands, maybe millions of people just for the sake of some hero’s shit reputation! How is that fair to the people who are dead?! How is that fair to my neighbor’s elderly mother with no one to take care of her?! How is that fair to the guy engaged to my friend’s sister?! HOW IS THAT FAIR TO ME?!”

              “It’s not. But that’s not all heroes.”

              “You can’t prove that!”

              In one swift motion, a firm hand shoves me down onto the bed. Through my tears, I glare at the boy pinning me. His eyes burn with determination.

              “Like hell I can’t!” he says. “I’m gonna be the best damn hero the world has ever seen and that means I’m gonna show you what a real hero is.”

              He doesn’t get it. “Katsuki-”

              “No. I mean it.”

              From that look and the tone of his voice, I know he does, and that fact douses the indignation festering in me.

              “Whenever you need me, I’ll save you. Because I’m gonna be your hero.”

              “You shouldn’t make irresponsible promises.”

              “It’s not irresponsible if I mean it.”

              There’s no getting through to him; he’s as stubborn as ever. Still, even while I know we want different things, it’s nice to think that there will always be someone on my side.

              I hate the hope in my whisper. “Really?”

              “Don’t you dare doubt me.” His forehead presses against mine. “No matter what happens, I’ll be your hero.”

~~~~~

              “Well?” I demand. “You still want to be my hero? Even though the whole world says I’m a villain, would you still protect me?!”

              “That’s why you’re doing this? Because one asshole hurt you?”

              “Hurt me?! He took my family! He destroyed me!”

              “He’s dead!”

              “So what?! He rotted in prison until the day he died and then five more took his place! But I can prevent millions-no, billions of people turning out like me!” I hold my arms out. “This is me trying to make the world a better place! I caused you to suffer and I deserve to be punished for that. But you’re a hero and your job is to do what’s best for the people. That’s what I’m doing! The only difference is that I don’t care if I have to be the villain to do it.”

              I take in this hero for possibly the last time. Seeing him wavering comes as quite a surprise. Still, behind it all lies the person I fell in love with—he hasn’t changed a bit. The number of times I dreamt of giving up and crawling back to him, even if just to suffer his wrath, is innumerable. No one made me reconsider everything I knew about this world like he did and I almost gave it all up for him. s

              But I couldn’t let go of my animosity.

              “I’m sorry.”

              I turn back on him, continuing my procedure at the control panel.

              She calls out to me. “Look out!”

              A series of blasts fill the air, and for a second time, I’m interrupted before I can complete the process. He snatches my shoulder, shoving me up against the machine. One of those deadly, explosive hands presses against my throat. Frantic fury fills those eyes; he’s acting on pure instinct. I wouldn’t be surprised if it all went black in the next second. However, he simply stands there, his crushing grip holding me in place while he glowers at me. I deserve his wrath and that injects a fresh wave of guilt into my brain but, ultimately, I know I wouldn’t have done anything different.

              My heart stops while a blaring ring fills my ears. The guilt had nothing on this. Tears immediately begin spilling over, showing every weakness I have. His lips smashed against mine are rough and desperate, as if this is his last resort.

              My remorse enflamed, I try to push him off, but Katsuki’s tightens his hold, turning from forceful to choking. In seconds, my strangulation forces the kiss to end. I grasp at his wrist, but I didn’t have enough strength to force him off before, let alone now in this state. This is probably the end.

              “I hate you,” he says darkly. Tear prick in the corner of his eyes.

              “Kacchan!”

              If I wasn’t screwed before, I am now. Leaping into the room are top heroes two and three: Deku and Shouto.

              “Midoriya?” My guest turns mortified.

              Deku calls out to her. “Don’t panic, Eri. We’re here to save you.”

              Katsuki lets me hit the floor. While ragged gasps pull air into my lungs, I fight my panic. I’m so close; I only have a handful more commands to put in, but that’s not going to happen with these three. My hand slams against the floor; I failed.

               Suddenly, a hand takes my arm, forcefully pulling me to my feet. I don’t even fight against it; there’s no point.

              “So fucking much.”

              My gaze trails along his arm and to his face. There’s no longer anger on his expression, but something more intimate. I’ve seen this look before, on the anniversary of my parents’ deaths, on the day I met Katsuki—pity. And I hate it.

              His grip relents but the palm remains open to me. I only have a second to decipher this gesture because the other two are getting closer. I glance one more time at that pity, wondering if he did understand all those years ago.

              I may be signing my own death warrant, but at least it’ll be by his hand.

              Resting my hand in his, I feel the connection being made that grants a person access to my quirk.

              Without a word, he turns towards the stairs and raises his hand. Shock flashes on their faces before a blast—larger than I had ever seen from him—sends the two heroes back to the bottom.

              “What the hell are you doing?!” Shouto yells.

              Deku instantly understands. “They used their amplification quirk on him!”

              “But why is he fighting us?!”

              “I don’t know…” The young man braces himself for a fight. “But if we don’t stop them, everyone in the world is going to lose their quirk.”

              Katsuki looks to me, his pity replaced by the sincerity and softness he shared only with me. The reality of his choice is starting to set in, and the magnitude of his sacrifice hits my resolve hard. He meant it—he understood and he meant it.

              It only takes him four words to break my heart.

              “No matter what happens.”

You’re a what... (2/4)

Author: @wordsfromthesol Taglist: @zalladane @ghost-brocolli Pairing: Dick Grayson x Reader Summary: Your life is turned upside down when you suddenly land in Gotham. Thankfully Dick is nearby and knows way more than he lets on. Warnings: Language, violence, all those good things Word Count:  1.7k

Part One   Part Three   Part Four

Dick shook you from your sleep, “Y/N! You’re safe! Wake up!”

You opened your eyes to see Dick leaning over you with a worried expression on his face. Your mind had still not caught up, but you blurted out anyways, “Fuck! How the hell did he even convince Hypnos to let him pull that bullshit?!” Your fists clenched with anger and electricity danced between your fingers. Dick looked over at you and you could see the gears turning in his mind.

“Hypnos…uncle…lightning…family drama…you’ve got to be kidding me. Y/N, you’re a god, aren’t you?”

“Technically…Wait, you actually believe that?”

“Well…” Dick contemplated what he should tell you, or rather how much he should tell you. “My dad knows Wonder Woman. She’s an Amazon, so that’s not that far off…”

You chuckled, “Oh, she’s no Amazon.” Before Dick could question you further, you continued, smiling with the knowledge that revealing this information would just further piss off your own father. “She’s a god, even if she doesn’t know it yet. I wonder what bullshit my father spun for that tale.”

“She said…sculpted from clay, Zeus brought her to life…”

“Yeah, sure. Even my dear old dad doesn’t have that kind of power. He ‘brought her to life’ by sleeping with Hippolyta. He takes what he wants, without regard or consequences.” Your chest went heavy as you remembered your own mother, who died giving birth to you, and left you alone with him. Hera terrorizing you every chance she got, after all you were just another one of Zeus’ bastard children. “So, any chance you know Di – Wonder Woman enough to get me an introduction?”

“Uhm…yeah, I…maybe. I’ll let you know.”

You threw your head into your hands, “Then again, the Amazons do love Hera. I wonder if Diana would even help me…I wonder if Hera knows Diana’s lineage? Maybe father actually managed to keep it from her…” You trailed off, forgetting that you were speaking aloud, and that Dick was in the room.

“I’m guessing Hera is not your mother then.”

You looked up at him, “What, oh yeah. No. Which is why I’m not technically, like a FULL on god… like Diana could probably take me in a fight. At least her mom is an Amazon, mine was just your average old human.”

“Human? You’re part human?”

“Is that such a surprise?”

“No…I guess I just didn’t realize Zeus was still coming down here to…play with humans.”

“Oh honey. I’m over a thousand years old. Hera has had him on a short leash after I showed up.”

“There’s no way you’re a thousand years old.”

You shrugged, “Time passes differently,” you pointed towards the ceiling, “up there. Who knows how this stupid human form will age.”

“Didn’t you say you were part human? Now you’re dissing us?”

You throw a pillow in his direction, “It’s not like I’ve ever actually been human!”

He picked up your failed attempt to hit him and threw it back towards you, “Well maybe give it a try first!”

“Hmph. What am I even supposed to do?”

“Get a job, make some friends, live. Like everyone else does down here.”

**

Nearly a month had passed. A month of you bumming on Dick’s couch, not knowing what to do. Not knowing any other human, besides the occasional chat with the barista at the coffee shop down the block or the avoidance of cat calls as you walked to said coffee shop. You still weren’t sure what Dick did, but he definitely wasn’t just a detective. He often came home with way too many cuts and bruises for simple police work. As you were going through the possibilities in your head, Dick walked through the door with a fresh cut through his jaw.

“Good news, Y/N/N, Wonder Woman agreed to meet you.” You moved to get up from the couch, but Dick quickly realized the miscommunication, “Tomorrow. Lunch tomorrow, she agreed to meet you. At Wayne Manor. My dad’s house.”

You settled back into the couch, “Okay.”

“That’s all I get? Okay?” Dick strolled over and sat beside you.

“I just…I don’t know if it’s even worth it anymore. She will know what to do as much as I do. I guess she may be able to get me passage to Tartarus. See Persephone…or give Hypnos a piece of my damn mind.”

“Zeus still invading your dreams?”

“Can’t you tell by my nightly scream sessions.” You rolled your eyes, trying to play off the pain you felt each time you allowed your mind to drift into sleep. In fact, that was why you hadn’t slept in nearly three days, and you had to admit this stupid human body was starting to feel it.

“Haven’t heard them in awhile…” Dick gazed into your eyes and began to notice the familiar signs of sleep deprivation. “Maybe there’s a different reason for that though.” He felt bad he hadn’t noticed sooner, but he had been to preoccupied nailing the drug ring he was after the night he met you.

You hung your head, realized you had been caught. “Yeah, it’s just easier this way.”

“Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but these lovely human bodies need sleep. Come on.” He pulled you up off the couch and led you into the bedroom. He watched as fear paved over your face and your breathing grew unsteady. “Hey, it’s alright. Just a few hours. Your body is going to start shutting down if you don’t get a few hours.”

You nodded hesitantly and crawled into the bed. You looked at him with pleading eyes until he moved to lay beside you. Without warning you curled into his chest, dreading the night to come.

Dick was shaking you awake several hours later, mumbling over and over, “You’re safe, you’re safe, it’s just a dream. You’re safe.” You felt bad for putting this stranger through your nonsensical life, but you had no other choice. Once you had answers from Diana, you promised yourself you would leave Dick out of everything. You didn’t want him dying because he helped you.

**

Finally, the two of you made your way to Wayne Manor. You hadn’t actually met any of Dick’s family…though he did talk about them. You’d much prefer him talking about his family than you about yours. Walking into the dining room, you saw a statuesque figure standing before you. Of course she’s drop dead gorgeous.

“Di – Wonder Woman. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Relax, Y/N. I trust these men, you may call me Diana. So, you are the cause of all pandemonium.”

“I guess so? I didn’t mean to be. Look, can we talk…” you eyed Dick and Bruce, “somewhere else?”

“We can, though it may be easier if we have their help.”

“NO!” The word came out much sharper than you intended. Your mind just kept floating back to scenes of Dick laying dead in your arms.

Diana eyed the two men, “I think it might be best if we were all a little more honest here.” Neither of the men made any effort to reveal information. “Alright,” Diana eventually spoke up again. “Guess we are going elsewhere then.” Diana led you to out to a garden, the two of you walking in silence. You sat on a nearby bench, deciding it was time to spin your tale. By the time you were done, you looked up to Diana, hopeful for ideas.

“My sister, that is a lot. I’m afraid I do not know what to do either. Our best option is to find Persephone. I do agree that she is likely the one who placed you on this earth.”

“Got access to Tartarus?”

“On Themyscria. I will work on passage for you. It should not be a problem, as you are female…and half god.” You grasped her wrist as she turned to leave.

“Diana…you know Zeus is your father, right?”

“I had long since suspected. But I will never get over the looks on men’s faces when I tell them I was sculpted from clay.” She gave you a wink before adding. “Be ready tomorrow. We leave at dawn.”

“Well everything I own is borrowed from Dick, so I’m already ready. Unless I should get back into my toga.”

She glanced over your attire, “It would be preferable. Jeans are too restrictive, and I have a gnawing feeling there is going to be a fight ahead of us.”

“You too, huh?”

Diana nodded with affirmation before heading back inside. You did not follow, you needed time to think, you needed more time to hone your skills. Zeus had trained you in Olympus and made sure all your opponents were stronger than you…but it had always felt different. That was training and though your opponents could have easily subdued you, they feared Zeus’ wrath and didn’t dare harm you. Even Hera’s bribes couldn’t even phase them. You just were hoped that once back in Tartarus, back in a land of the gods, your body would feel like your own again. Somehow in the back of your mind, you knew that would never be true again. It would always be different now, you couldn’t put a pin in why – though your suspicions kept trailing to Dick.

**

Diana approached Bruce and Dick, who were discussing their own plans in the matter.

“You too need to tell her how involved you actually are. She’s worried about you.” Her eyes could drill holes into Dick’s. “I know it would ease her mind, if she knew that you were capable of handling yourself. I have a feeling Zeus will not give up easily, he is not used to defiance. There will be a fight.”

“We can explain on the way to Themyscira.” Bruce’s voice was low and unfaltering.

“Bruce, we’ve been over this. I can’t just bring you to Themyscira, and I especially can’t bring you to Tartarus. Mortal men do not go to Tartarus unless they don’t plan on coming back.”

“Well I’m going. You haven’t seen her. What Zeus is doing to her in these dreams.” Dick shook his head, “No, I’m not letting her do this alone.”

“My mother is not going to like this.”

Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 18

aka Caleo uni au

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: Leo's life is hard (but maybe there's some hope left).

A/N: Yay, time for a new chapter! I decided to make Friday my new posting day so that’s when the future updates will (hopefully) happen.

It's not time to resolve the previous drama quite yet but dw, that's coming! Meanwhile, I hope you'll enjoy this Leo centered chapter. It’s also time to bring Frank in!

Don't forget to let me know what you think! :)

Characters in this ch: Leo, Frank, Georgina, Jo, Emmie

Words: 1700+

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort

Warnings: none

previous chapter / next chapter / AO3

...

“Maldita sea!” Leo yelled at himself as his wrench flew at the wall, thankfully not causing damage to it. Nothing he tried to fix or build that day seemed to go right. He hadn’t been able to figure out a pretty basic seeming issue in someone’s phone, one of his own inventions had broken and even solving a physics problem that would usually have managed to distract him only felt frustrating.

There was a lot going on in Leo’s head. Well, he’d argue that he always had a lot going on there due to his ADHD, but this time his usual methods to calm himself down didn’t seem to work. He would probably have to quit studying the only field he was truly interested in. He couldn’t do his work. His flatmate for whom he may or may not have started slowly developing some very not flatmate appropriate feelings had apparently had a thing for his friend, which not only complicated Leo’s situation with Calypso but also with Percy. And his mother’s death anniversary was coming, which was always a hard time for him. Leo imagined she’d probably be so disappointed if she saw him now. ‘My son, a failure in every aspect of life’. No, Leo’s real mother had been way too nice to actually say something like that out loud, but he just knew she’d at least think that. And Jo, Emmie and Georgina were counting on him too.

After throwing the wrench, Leo decided to take a break because his hands had started shaking too much to continue working. Taking a deep breath, he leaned against his worktable, closed his eyes and started tapping a rhythm that he had memorized years ago. His mother had taught him Morse code when he was a kid, and this particular phrase was one she had used a lot when he had needed calming down. Written down, the code looked like this:

.. .-.. --- ...- . -.-- --- ..-

I l o v e y o u

He whispered it very quietly a couple of times before looking out from the window and saying aloud:

“Mom. I’m trying to be strong. I really am. But sometimes it just gets too fucking hard. Everything seemed to be fine. Really. My other family is great. I was studying something I actually cared about. My new flatmate… uh, she’s an interesting force of nature. But if she likes someone like Percy… I’d never have a chance. And all my career plans are about to run down to the sewers because I can’t use fire, in any way. Not because of what happened to you. Because of what I... I just feel lost.”

He took a deep breath and rubbed the corner of his eye dry quickly. Saying his thoughts aloud seemed to make him feel a little bit better, and he decided that maybe getting out of the flat and getting some exercise would help with the shakiness. To his relief Calypso wasn’t home either so he didn’t have to answer any awkward questions about why he looked like such a mess. Leo found himself jogging all the way to Waystation, which was several miles from his flat. As he reached the yard, he noticed Georgina with Festus, but even with her back to him he could sense something was wrong. Of course. There was always some way the day could get even worse.

“Hi, hermanita!” he started, trying to sound cheerful even though he didn’t think he was a very good actor. Georgie could probably see right through him. His suspicions were confirmed when Festus didn’t even run to greet him as he usually did. “What’s going on?”

“I tried to call you,” she said, hiding her worry badly. “Moms went to run some errands and something… something happened to him…”

“What do you mean? What exactly happened?” Leo insisted on knowing.

Georgina seemed to grow more and more upset each moment. “I… I gave him a bully stick… but I forgot to put it in a holder even though moms always say you should do that when you give him one because he always tries to swallow them so fast… And then he started feeling sick...”

To prove her point, Festus, who was laying on the ground, made a loud gagging sound. After that he tried to whine but even that didn’t sound like it usually did.

Leo’s ADHD kicked immediately in, in the form of him wanting to act fast.

“We’ll discuss this later, I need to borrow Jo’s car now that I can take him to the vet,” he exclaimed and ran inside the house to get the keys to the car from the spot Jo usually kept them. He picked them and Festus’ leash and ran back, telling Georgina to stay home to tell Jo and Emmie what happened when they’d return.

At least one thing went right that day: the emergency vet clinic was fairly quiet when Leo arrived there. Not long after that, the vet took Festus in. He had an intern with him; a young man who Leo suspected had his roots somewhere in East Asia. He had black, short hair, a bulky body and kind of child like face even though the intern was probably older than Leo. As the vet asked Leo some questions about what exactly had happened to Festus, the student wrote down some notes and occasionally added a short comment as well. When Leo was about to explain why exactly Festus had gotten issues with the bully stick, he heard the intern mutter something to himself.

“What was that?” Leo asked a bit more aggressively than he had planned, having already been stressed even before the issue with Festus had come up. He had to admit, though, that it had distracted him from the other issues.

“Nothing,” the intern quickly said, pretending to focus on his papers again.

Leo didn’t give up that easily. “I heard you, though. You were implying that I had somehow caused this.”

“Well, you did give him the bully stick, didn’t you?” the young man asked.

“I wasn’t even there when he got one!” Leo growled, starting to feel the frustrations from earlier that day flooding out of his system. “My… uh, little sister gave him one when our parents left to run some errands and he kept whining and wanted something to chew! It wasn’t her fault either, she’s a child and she didn’t know that could happen!”

“Mister Valdez, please calm down a bit,” the vet interrupted him, and Leo immediately shut up. “There’s no need to yell. Festus is going to be just fine; I’m going to give him some medicine and fluids to help with digesting the stick and we can watch how he’s doing overnight. And Frank, please don’t make assumptions like that about clients.”

“Yes, sir,” Frank said, to Leo’s surprise actually looking regretful. Then he turned to Leo. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

“Nah, I kinda lost my cool there too…” Leo said, the frustration leaving when he saw Frank’s face.

“Kinda,” the intern said, attempting to joke about the situation.

“Yeah, sorry ‘bout that;” Leo rubbed the back of his neck.

After that the vet asked Leo a couple of more questions and did some more examinations on Festus while Frank helped him.

“Other than this stick issue, he seems like a healthy dog,” the vet complimented after the check up. “His fur and teeth look good. I think you’ve been taking good care of him.”

“Well, to be honest he lives more with my parents than me because they have a lot more space…” Leo said, “But yeah, we all try our best. Even Georgina, my sister.”

“I’m glad to hear that. It’s a good thing you got him here that fast so he’ll get the best possible treatment,” The vet said.

After that he wrote some notes on the computer and then dismissed Leo who scratched Festus from behind his ear and promised to come back soon to get him. As he was putting his jean jacket on in the lobby, the intern, Frank, approached him.

“About what happened earlier, I really am sorry. It isn’t like me to attack clients; you can even ask my boss about that. I just…”

“Chill, man,” Leo said. “I’ve heard this story before. People assume things about me because I look like a problem teenager. Truth to be told? You’re not entirely wrong. But things have changed. And trust me, Festus is my best friend and I’d do anything for him. I’m sure Georgie has learned her lesson too now.”

“Good to hear that,” Frank said and extended his arm to Leo. “Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow when you’re coming to get Festus.”

Leo nodded. “Yep, I have a feeling my whole family will want to join me. Anyway, I’m off now. Thanks for the help!”

“I’m glad we could help!” Frank told him before he started walking towards his car.

...

Jo and Emmie had already returned to Waystation when Leo got there.

“Is everything OK?” Emmie asked immediately. “We didn’t really get much out of Georgina… Just that something had happened to Festus and you took him to the vet.”

“Nah, it’s gonna be fine!” Leo reassured her. “He got some digestion issues because he gobbled a bully stick too fast but that’s being taken care of now. Georgie sure remembers to be more careful from now on, won’t ya, hermanita?” he addressed the young girl then.

“I will…” she promised, not even protesting about the nickname this time.

Once Leo had explained with more details what had happened at the vet and it became clear that Festus would be fine soon, the family moved to other matters. Unlike usually, Leo was happy with mostly listening to the others. The incident had reminded him that there were bigger matters than girl issues or his studies and he realized that those things didn’t feel quite as hard to overcome now as a few hours ago. Yes, he still needed to deal with them, and yes, his past would probably never stop entirely haunting him, but when he had people like this around him? It wouldn’t be impossible.

34. Part 4

Jah is annoying “ain’t nobody shedding tears ok” shaking my head laughing “so, when are you posting that? Now?” I pointed, Robyn shrugged “I suppose, I am just disheartened but yeah I will be” I just wish she didn’t need too but also if she doesn’t and I told her not too, then it gets leaked she will hate me for it so let me just not “Dennis, I need to borrow you. Somewhere private please and Robyn, keep your head up. I got you, come” getting up from the couch “I am going upstairs and please don’t follow me, Jah or you” I think she is on about Mel anyways, walking off thinking on where to go “let’s go to the games room, bring your shit. Like your laptop too” patting Zeus on the head “I am coming with, I need a blunt” Mel said, looking behind me at Mel jumping over the couch, then I see Jah, they are all running away from Robyn because she is a on downer, but I just need to do this and then I can just spend time with her “I didn’t exactly ask for you both” I said as Mel put her arm around me “we didn’t ask, we said we are coming. Also Robyn hates everything” I sighed out, I hate that she is feeling that “well she asked me to bring my account back and to say something nice about her like, what. She doesn’t even need it; she doesn’t even need to feel like that. It makes no sense, she looks beautiful.” This is the thing I love about this home, the way you can get lost in it. Opening the door to go down the steps “I think as a woman, a damaged woman she is going to feel that. I mean she forgave her father many of times and now she feels he is attacking her daughter and that she can’t protect her, then the words. You don’t want to see a family member say that, that she looks not good. She looks like a woman; nobody is perfect. I swear I want to shoot up Ronald, on god” me and Mel both.

Dennis finally joined us in the games room “I just walked with Robyn to her bedroom, she is upset still but like I didn’t want to get in her space, she needs the space. She is the type to want the space to selfheal” shaking my head “did she post it?” I am not sure if she did “she did yes, gave me her phone again. You know she is nervous when she does that, Mel can you hold onto it” Dennis passed the phone to her “oh lovely, I can drag them on behalf of Robyn” Dennis walked over to me sighing out, he looks fed up and he has just arrived “what idea you got now” I laughed moving my blunt back form my lips “an idea” blowing the smoke out from my lips “do you have like spare video and images of Robyn and I, like the shit you not going to use in the documentary? Like uhm, on the wedding day? I just want to put something quick together and I ain’t want to type shit out. I want to speak instead, I don’t really give a fuck if they hate me right now, they will hear my voice and they will feel my wrath, I have had enough. I don’t need Robyn to say she agrees with me, they will know the truth. Just something raw, just here being me and speaking on the whole thing. I know the documentary is that, but I guess that can be extra special, I ain’t want to expose the whole thing but like, just little seconds of first dance, us, Royalty. Just having fun, Robyn happy. You know” I hope Dennis gets what I mean “erm, I do. I have some spare video, we can just zoom in on when you place the ring on Robyn’ finger, then her smiling. Just distort it here and there, also I can put a little montage of all the laughs and giggles, yeah I can do” good he can do that “now I need you to use your camera or my phone and just me speaking on the thing” putting out my blunt.

Sitting on the pool table clearing my throat “you want your makeup done boo?” Mel said laughing “man, be quiet” she is dumb “you want us to stand in the back, like some mob that is ready to snatch their asses” it’s going to be super awkward having an audience here “don’t be trying to make me laugh now, I just want to say what I need to say, I am fucking angry yo. I called Rajad up and he goes we know, Rorrey took his phone and said that Ronald is hiding now, I asked straight up is it you and he said nah, I would not put my sister down, I would make a story up about you, fuck that” Mel rolled her eyes “Rorrey needs to grow up, like on a real” she kissed her teeth, Rorrey can redeem himself if he beats up his dad, that is all I am thinking “if he beat up Ronald then we can be cool, that is it. If he love his sister like he says, then prove it bro. Ayo, Dennis if I go on a rant just let me do it. I think Robyn is being professional, but they got another thing coming. Her husband is a country nigga that do not give a fuck” Mel laughed out “aye, on some gang shit aye aye!” I can’t express my anger in a bad way because Robyn will be angry, but I will show them that I ain’t playing when it comes to Robyn “we could have kept this rant to the doc but nah, we are doing it now. And we are doing it without president Fenty Corp around cause she will be like shut that shit down, you can’t say that. I can” shaking my head laughing “I approve Chris, we all do” I cheered at both Mel and Jah just supporting me “president Fenty Corp” Mel sniggered.

I am just pissed off man, I can’t believe Robyn is up there being all upset over nothing, I mean to me it’s nothing “you look so annoyed” Mel said, rubbing my forehead “I am, I am angry at it all. You know me Mel, I ain’t the type of nigga to hold back. I do it for her, I keep quiet for her. I am being good for Robyn man, come on. I have no care in the world for feelings, but for Robyn I do it for or I would be outside his house beating him up” looking down at my blunt “I have been rolling for like five minutes now” Dennis said, letting out on oh “let me put this to the side, or Mel. Here” holding the blunt out to her “don’t mind if I do” she skipped over to me “I thought I can use some of the video of you just in your zone, but you can start when you want” Mel took to the blunt from me “ok” like I don’t want to put Robyn out but it bugged me she asked me to say something nice about her like that article meant a thing “Surprise, Chris Brown married” I laughed “Christopher married Robyn in Mexico, now it sounds a little different but that is what happened. I was never supposed to be doing this, and Robyn was never supposed to tell the undeserving world that me and the love of my life got married in Mexico, it was a great day. Equally the best day when I connected with Robyn again at a friend’s party, a close friend of ours. Robyn to me, the person you don’t see is rather the unique type, I feel sorry for y’all not to see that side to her. I love her more then I love myself and nobody on this earth knows how that feels, unless you in love. And you know how I know I love her more then I love myself, because I am here, I am clean, and I feel love because she makes me whole. Rihanna to y’all is the most confident bad girl around, she is Robyn here and she is sensitive, she is vulnerable and when niggas like her own father come here and try to sell my daughter’ picture to a tabloid, that is the kind of shit that hurts. Ronald, you are a nasty man, I have a more words, but I will say that to your face. The real deadass reason we had to show you this is because he is using this against his daughter when you play on my family. You hear this Ronald, she is my family, that is my wife. You had no right to sell a thing about my family, I am not playing just like y’all prince Drake dogged my wife out and made a song about her, Ronald. You’re on the list too, let me catch you bro. I uhm, didn’t want to release a photo, and uhm write this out. I am real, and I will say it how it is. I respect Robyn, and she respects me, we compromise on things. I just want ya’ll to know that this was released out of spite, and I will catch ya’ll when the documentary drops” I exposed who the corrupt person is because it’s fuck that nigga.

Watching Dennis editing the clip “I think you should do another one, just another one with us three. Yeah let’s do this” Jah said, looking behind me “do what?” I questioned “just a little thing about Robyn, make her smile, come Dennis. Bring the camera” Jah got an idea now I guess, walking off “let’s sit at the bar” Mel pointed out, nodding my head. I will just sit and see what is up, what they are thinking. Sitting on the bar stool “just something quick” Dennis said, fixing my tee clearing my throat “I am just going to start rolling so get on with it” I am just going sit back and let them start “hi, this is the Fenty Corp team, my name is Jahleel” staring at Jah “I am Christopher” I added “Melissa” she giggled “you stupid Jah, what the hell” Mel cackled “I am going to ask Chris some questions” my eyes widened “wait, is that part of the deal?” I said confused “no but it is now, so when you first saw Rihanna in her wedding dress, what did you first notice?” Jah asked but I didn’t know it was question Chris thing “what did I first notice” rubbing my chin “uhhh, I would say her smile. My eyes just fell on her face first, I was nervous so yeah” she was so happy that day “what would you change about Robyn, if there is something?” I hate being put on the spot “uhm nothing, but I would say stop being so open with your heart. I think she gives a lot” nodding my head “I am only joking with Chris but I think it’s something the world needs to accept, Chris is apart of Fenty and I appreciate you answering that shit, also if y’all want to hate then you can hate Mel, it was her birthday they had sex at” Mel gasped  “but, before you kill me. It was a great moment for her, she is the happiest now. I have met a great friend, a great guy and I am glad he is around, being annoying. You bring good vibes all round” Jah is sounding a little emotional here “also catch Chris, he will be showing you all how to use Fenty Skin for all the brothers out there” I swear Jah be just doing shit “and I will be helping him” Mel added, these two are just wasting my damn time “I did not ask for this, I have no idea what they speaking on” shaking my head.

Dennis edited that stupid thing they did and sent it to Fenty Skin, now I have to do some dumb shit on there for no reason and I didn’t ask for it “we all got to do our thing for the Fenty team” side eyed Jah “the photo has broke the internet, couldn’t get on twitter for a while or Instagram but just managed to get on now” Mel said “E News, Chris Brown and Rihanna married question mark” I am not shocked “Fenty Brown is the splitting image of Barbadian singer Rihanna, I actually love this picture. Robyn chose well” nodding my head in agreement “Chris, the video just rendering but it’s done, you can post it” I can’t wait to post my piece anyways “they are literally just saying that the girl looks just like Robyn, that is all they saying. I think they are stuck between being shook about Fenty and then the marriage, my Instagram is glitching too. You both shut down the internet, oh this one. Was Chris even involved in this, I think Rihanna birthed the black queen herself” that doesn’t bother me “you get them I guess; I can’t even do this. I will have to go back on it later, it’s glitching bad” I guess we really shut down the internet.

Pressing send on the video, I can finally post. It’s been hours, this news has literally shut the internet down, I couldn’t post my thing. I like the clip, it’s just a few little things put together and it’s my thing. I feel like Ronald needs to be shamed, he put Robyn out and made her do this. Let me tap out a little message ‘Truth is, I won’ that is simple, pressing on the video and then locking my phone. I am tired from just this mess, this commotion of things going on. Dropping my phone on my chest and stretched out my body, I can have a nap on the bed “woah” I got scared, I didn’t know Robyn was in here “I thought you went down, I am just going to have a nap. You can check out the video, I did a video. One better than you” I chuckled to myself placing my arm behind me, looking over at Robyn and she just dropped her robe exposing her naked body “what are you doing?” my face softened in shock, staring at a naked Robyn just stood there at the other side of the bed. Getting up from the bed, my phone fell on the floor as I did but I didn’t care. Walking around the bed “hey, what is this for?” picking the robe up from the floor “hey, look at me” walking around her “do you find me sexy?” she breathed out saying “I always do, but this is not you Robyn” wrapping her robe around her “I am not the same Robyn you know, I am not that. I am misshaped, my nose has gone big, my body is big, my body has changed. I can’t even please you” fastening the robe around her “you can, you had a baby Robyn, what did you expect. You are the most beautiful and sexiest woman I know. You are just being so hard on yourself like you always are, come on. I am here now. Cry it out, you’re hurt” placing her arms around me and then the sobs just left her lips, like I knew it would, but she is being so hard on herself.

Robyn is like a baby, she is just so hurt by it all but me, I am used to it, probably numb to the family shit “I really hate you crying like this Robyn, it hurts me so much” kissing her forehead “it’s not fair, I always wanted a good environment for my child. It’s just the way he sells me, even now. Like he never loves me, I try and all I want is his love and he doesn’t give it me. He sees me as money signs. I always forgive him Chris, I do. I am mourning the fact I won’t forgive him for this. He is the guy that fucked me up, he fucked me up from loving easily. He hurt my family, he hurt me. He made my home bad and yet he does this, and then on top of that he says I look bad, I am depressed. I was not depressed before this; I was just getting over having my baby. Made me feel insecure, I just hate him” listening to Robyn speak on about Ronald as I held her “gag order, remove anything of mine. I am dead to him forever; he can never use me. Then I am just here thinking if I look like then I can’t be pleasing to the eye for you” shaking my head rolling my eyes “shut up about that, Robyn I am here wanting sex with you. The woman I see naked every day, you get me hard and you talking that. Don’t think that or do that again unless it’s in a sexual way. I hate that, just to see you like that. Broken, I just need you to rest” I think Robyn an I will get through this, she will get her confidence back, it was our first outing and she dressed down, it doesn’t mean shit.

A Good Wife

Request: Hi there! 😀Can I request a Jaime Lannister one-shot, where he falls in love with the eldest of the Stark children and Robb's older twin sister? Robert felt the need to unite the Great Houses even more, so he decided to strip Jaime of his 'Sir' title and betrothe him and the Reader (much to her family's dismay and Robb's anger).Robb is her closest and best friend, and when the war between the kings starts, R flees from King's Landing back to her brother's side, much to Jaime's shock and hurt. Requested by @witch-of-letters

Warnings: death (but I think everyone who watched the first season knows who’s”, swearing?

Word Count: 1948.

Sansa was always the one who wanted to marry quickly and preferably a prince or a king. Arya wanted to be a warrior and hated being a lady. You were in the middle. You trained with Robb, Jon and Theon but also took ‘ladies’ courses like sewing, behaving etc. You were the eldest daughter of Eddard Stark so you had to be a role model for both your sisters and your brothers.

After the ‘usurper’ king Robert Baratheon visited Winterfell, both his ‘son’ Joffrey and Sansa showed interest in e each other. He asked your father to become hand of the king and wanted to unify the two houses by marrying Joffrey to Sansa. Ned wasn’t pleased but he accepted because Robert was the king and he was his friend. Not to mention, he was an honorable man and never wanted to cause trouble. The other reason that made his accept is because he wanted to marry you to Jaime Lannister.

“Robb! Y/n, I need to talk to you” he interrupted your duel with Robb.

“Someone’s in trouble’ Robb teased.

“Shut up” you left with your father to your chamber where he told you to sit down and have a drink for this.

“What’s wrong, father?” You saw the discomfort on his eyes.

“I never forced anything on you, have I?”.

“Never”.

“Daughter, I need you to do something for our house. You are to marry Ser Jaime Lannister”.

“What? The queen’s brother? No, I don’t want to. He’s arrogant and I don’t want to leave the north. This is my home” you refused.

“Y/n, please. I’ve never asked you for anything. You have to do this for the greater good. If Sansa is to marry Joffrey, I need to make sure that she’s safe. That you’ll be with her”.

“But you’re hand of the king now, you’ll be there for her”.

“I won’t have the time. I will be busy attending meetings and dealing with the realm’s issues. Besides, who knows for how long I’ll serve and what about after I’m dead? She’ll be all alone in the south”.

“Don’t say that, please! You’re going to live a long and happy life. I will do as you say, but only for our house”.

“Thank you, it’s a great responsibility but I’m sure you’re more than capable of handling it. I knew I could count on you” he embraced you and kissed your forehead.

“And winter is coming!” He reminded you.

When Robert told Jaime, he refused. But Robert stripped him of his title and threatened to kill him if He doesn’t obey his command. He had to accept and went to tell Cersei. She tried to convince Robert, but to no use. Cersei hated you and from that day she treated you badly.

You requested that the wedding take place in Winterfell where your whole family was and could attend and Robert approved.

“So you’re really getting married” Robb entered your room as you were preparing.

“I wish I didn’t have to” you expressed.

“Leave us” Robb dismissed your ladies so you could have a private conversation.

“Then why did you agree to do it?” He asked.

“It was father’s wish. The king suggested it to unify our houses and father couldn’t refuse, you know him” you informed Robb.

“I’ll talk to him. I’ll stop the wedding- I’ll convince him” Robb wanted to help you so bad.

“It’s too late, Robb. The wedding is in a few hours. Besides, I have already agreed” you put your hand on his upper arm to comfort him, even when you were the one who needed comforting.

“Is there something I can do?”.

“Just hold me” and so he wrapped his hands around you and rested his head on yours.

“I wish the queen had a sister. Maybe then, you’d have to marry her and I’d stay here” you joked.

“I can still do that”.

“What? Marry Jaime?”.

“Sure. He has long blond hair and kind of looks like his sister” he tried to cheer you up and it worked.

After the wedding, you waited in your chamber for Jaime to come. He eventually came… late when you almost fell asleep.

“My lord” you courtesied.

He ignored you and poured himself some wine, but he was already drunk. You could see that he was forced into this, so you wanted to ease the tension between you. You walked towards him and held his hand, taking the cup from it “let me”.

“I don’t know how you imagined this marriage to be. I do not want you. I will not touch you or sleep with you. We will have separate rooms when we get back to King’s landing. You are not to interfere with my business or ask me questions about my whereabouts. I will fuck whoever I want and I expect you to not get jealous. We will only see each other at feast and formal events, where we pretend to love and care for each other. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have somewhere else to be” he rudely instructed and left the room.

You were in shock at first. You felt offended but then relieved that you didn’t have to sleep with him.

Months went by and you only saw Jaime a couple of times. You felt lonely and missed Winterfell and your family. Sansa was still here, but she wasn’t Robb and only talked about herself. Ned was also there, but he was too busy, that sometimes you even tried to help him out of boredom.

One night, someone knocked on your door. You weren’t sure if you should open it or not. After all, you were alone and nobody usually knocks at that time. But you decided to take the chances. To your surprise, it was Jaime… drunk.

“Are you going to invite me in or are we going to stand here all night?” He boldly asked.

“Come on in”.

“Do you have wine?”.

“You’re already drunk. What do you want, Jaime?” You crossed your arms.

“I- I just needed to talk to someone” tears were forming in his eyes.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” You sat next to him at the edge of the bed.

“It’s uhm Cersei”.

“What about her?”.

“She- uh- she…I can’t. I shouldn’t. I’ll get in trouble if I told you”.

“Jaime, I know about your relationship with Cersei” you admitted.

“What? How?”.

“I have eyes and ears”.

“And you haven’t told anyone. Why?”.

“What kind of wife would I be if I did that?” You chuckled.

“Since you know, I can tell you. She refused me tonight and sent me away. I can’t bare to be apart from her” he confessed.

“It’s alright. I’m here for you” you wrapped your arm around him and he rested his head on your chest. There was silence in the room for a moment before he spoke “you’re a good wife, Y/n! Thank you” he lifted his head and kissed you.

You pulled back from surprise and asked “what are you doing?”.

“Treating you like a wife” he pushed you on the bed and was now on top of you kissing your lips and neck.

“Stop! We shouldn’t do this”.

“But we’re married”.

“That does not make it right. I don’t love you and you love your sister. You're drunk and you’re hurt. You’ll regret this in the morning. You just want a distraction and I can’t be it. If you want to forget, go fuck a whore” you pushed him and moved from beneath him, walking to the door and opening it for him.

“Now, leave, please!”.

The next day, you were walking with Sansa in the garden when he approached you.

“My lady! Y/n! Can I borrow your sister for a moment?” He asked Sansa.

“Of course” she left you two to talk.

“I just wanted to apologize for my behavior yesterday. Please forgive me. I promise, I’ll never come near your chambers again”.

“It’s alright, you were drunk. I forgive you. Don’t make such promises”.

“What does that mean?”.

“I’ve thought about it. If you want us to be really husband and wife, I will give you a chance. You can visit my chambers tonight” and with those words, your marriage truly began. You were happy for a time. You even fell in love with each other until the worst day came upon you. The king died, your father found the truth about Cersei and Jaime and the parentage of the sons and daughter of the queen. She imprisoned him and he was to be executed. You begged Jaime to do something, but it was to no use. Cersei and Joffrey told him to admit that what he said was a lie and confess his treason. And he did for your sake and Sansa’s, but Joffrey beheaded him to everyone’s shock. Sansa begged Cersei to spare her life and she did because she was still young and betrothed to Joffrey. The way she saw it was that she has the north in her grip, having Sansa as a hostage for them to not rebel against the throne. And she also had the chance to kill you, but Jaime defended you.“She’s her father’s daughter. She’s as much traitorous as he was”.

“No, she’s not and you know it. And if it were true, you would’ve executed Sansa too”.

“She’s just a child and she’s to be Joffrey’s wife”.

“And Y/n’s my wife!” He yelled at her.

“Only in name. You don’t love her, step aside”.

“I do love her! And she.is.my wife! Not in name only. She had nothing to do with what Ned Stark did. Now leave her be. She is a Lannister now! Just accept it”.

You were sitting by the door on the other end of the wall, listening. That’s when you remembered you are a Stark and you always will be no matter what or who you marry. It was time to go home. It was time to reunite with your family.

At night, you managed to pack a few things and sneaked snuck off to Sansa’s chamber.

“Wake up. Shhh! It’s only me. We have to go”.

“We can’t. They’ll kill us” Sansa was terrified.

“There is a chance, yes. But if we stay here, we’re as good as dead. Come with me, sister”.

“I can’t. If you- if you survive and get to Robb, don’t forget about me. Tell him to come and get me” Sansa refused to leave, so you had no other choice but to leave her behind. You said your goodbyes and were about to get on your horse when you heard his voice.

“So you’re going to abandon me?”.

“I have to go, Jaime. It’s not safe for me here”.

“I’ll protect you”.

“You can’t. Not when it comes to Cersei”.

“Please stay”.

“I have to go home. I’ve been here too long that I started to forget who I am”.

“You’re my wife”.

“I am a Stark and I always will be”.

“You’re a Lannister”.

“No. You are. Your sister is. Your bastard son who murdered my father is. I’ll never be a part of this hateful family”.

“You don’t mean that”.

“I do. Every word I said, I mean it” you tried to hurt him to make it easier for the both of you, but he knew better.

“I love you”.

“But I- I don’t” tears were forming in both of your eyes.

“You’re lying. I know you love me. You’re free! Go to your family! Be happy!” He didn't want you to feel guilty, so he pretended to be okay with you leaving.

Brave Exkaiser Episode Guide

Exkaiser is the first installment in the Yuusha series and follows a young boy, Kouta, whose family car turns out to be an alien robot, a police officer, sent to Earth to stop the space pirates, the Geisters, from stealing Earth’s treasures.

All episodes can be watched on Youtube right here! (If I, personally, really dislike an episode and see no point to it I will but “pointless filler” at the end of it, for my own sanity’s sake) 

Episode 1: Exkaiser follows the Geisters to earth along with his team and he takes possession of Kouta’s family car. But when the Geisters try to steal Kouta’s old camera, believing it to be valuable, Exkaiser has to reveal himself in order to save him!  ENTER EXKAISER!

Episode 2: The Geister sets their eyes on stealing the new liner motorcar and Exkaiser sets up to stop them, but the smart Ptera Geist has invented something and Exkaiser needs backup if he wants to pull this off.  ENTER KEISER TWINS, GREEN RAKER AND BLUE RAKER!!!  POWER UP KING EXKAISER AND ULTRA RAKER!!

Episode 3: The Geisters tries to steal electricity and ends up trying to steal a nuclear plant that, because it gets fucking moved, is about to explode! Exkaiser needs all hands on deck to stop these idiots! ENTER DRILL MAX, DASH MAX AND SKY MAX!! POWER UP GOD MAX!!

Episode 4: The Geisters tries to steal a rocket about to launch for Mars and the Keisers have to find a way to defeat them without damaging the rocket as it’s very important to Kouta.

Episode 5: Most of the town falls sick and the Geisters are stealing all the medicine, the thing is people will die without it so Kouta is extra invested in coming along which leads to him meeting some of the other Kaisers.

Episode 6: Thunder Geist is sent to retrieve a sunken pirate ship that is full of treasure, but since he’s not very smart he accidentally sets off a volcano. Exkaiser hs to save the people who have chosen this very bad day to go on a submarine tour.

Episode 7: The Geisters steals the machines from an old amusement park and turns them into robots to train against. Blue Raker is sent to investigate but blows his cover and is stuck when he has to defend himself but can’t damage the machines. Luckily Kouta is able to help!

Episode 8: Ptera Geist tries to steal the fastest plane, the one that Kouta’s class just so happens to be getting a tour of. Exkaiser and Max team have to beat the transformed robot and Kouta must take control of the situation!

Episode 9: The cherry blossoms are blooming and everyone has gone to see them, but Armor Geist have heard it’s a treasure and takes Thunder with him to steal it. But they kinda set their eyes on something a little bigger

Episode 10: The Geisters are targeting the opening baseball games and decides to just take the whole dome while they’re at it.

Episode 11: The Geisters are aiming to steal a golden coffin, this takes them to a ruin where Kouta’s class will be doing a play. Not all goes according to plan.

Episode 12: The Geisters steals all the flour... what are you guys doing? Baking a giant cake?? It’s flour.

Episode 13: Kouta goes to Mt. Fuji with his family but the Geisters makes the mountain erupt in an attempt to kill off the Kaisers. The result is chaos!

Episode 14: Its mothers day and the Geisters have received word that a mother is the most important treasure of all.

Episode 15: After being told that he cannot steal dreams, Horn Geist throws a tantrum that results in not letting the humans sleep, at all. 

Episode 16: The Geisters goes to steal a valuable racecar, of course, they didn’t realize that Dahs Max would be in the race... This guy is a total savage and I love him

Episode 17: The Geists goes after the district computers that make sure everything functions as it should, this causes chaos all over and when they then try to go for the big mother computer the Kaisers has to stop them in order to avoid catastrophe.  

Episode 18: The Geisters steals rare clocks from all over the world and in an attempt to stop them Dash Max gets taken hostage.

Episode 19: The Geisters wants to steal the treasure at the end of the rainbow when that fails they decide to just flood the town.

Episode 20: The Geisters tries to kidnap a princess who’s about to get married because she possesses a great treasure.

Episode 21: Kouta and his friends apply to be child actors but as they’re recording the Geisters show up to ruin the day, of course, no director stops filming when he got real-life robots battling on his set.

Episode 22: Kouta’s sister, Fuuko, falls hopelessly in love with Dahs Max (who can blame her) and is determined to meet up with him at the summer festival, of course, he comes around when the Geisters attack.

Episode 23: Fuuko wants to become an idol so Kouta goes with her to the TV station to cheer her on, however, soon Geister appears looking for idols and golden eggs.

Episode 24: The Geisters tries to steal a cruise ship but for the first time Dino Geist comes along to show them how to do their job!

Episode 25: An important virus is being transported to the medicinal institute, this makes it the perfect target for the Geisters and Exkaiser has little choice but to cooperate when Sky Max is taken hostage.

Episode 26: The Geisters tries to steal a panda cub but fails, Kouta and Fuuko, feeling that a living animal shouldn\t be confined steals the panda instead until Exksaiser convinces Kouto that he has to let go of her.

Episode 27: When a meteor shower is approaching earth Exkaiser and Sky Max must face down Dino Geist and Ptera Geist as the human astronauts try to destroy the meteorites before they can collide with Earth!  ENTER COMPANION DRAGON

Episode 28: The Geisters has stolen all the treasures of summer in order to lure out Exkaiser. Getting into a battle that seems lost Exkaiser needs to find a new power to save everyone! ENTER DRAGON KAISER  

Episode 29: When a new gold coin is about to be issued the Geisters decided to pretty much steal every coin they can get their hands on, it’s up to Exkaiser alone to stop them!!

Episode 30: Kouta’s dad is trying to stop smoking and that is a good thing because it’s the next target for the Geisters!

Episode 31: Kouta goes to Peru with his sister and dad to look at the Nazca Lines, however when the Geisters try to steal them Exkaiser must stop them on his own, and everything truly goes to shit when Dino Geist shows up and an old legend about the ending of the world is about to come true.

Episode 32: In an attempt to take out Exkaiser, Ptera comes up with... an actually pretty good plan, I’m really proud tbh, but anyway, he comes up with a plan to take advantage of the incoming typhoon and in an attempt to become stronger than their opponents the Geisters combine. POWER UP GREAT EXKAISER

Episode 33: A boy from school “borrows” Kouta’s communication bracelet and won’t give it back, unfortunately, he’s also the son of a Kabuki actor and is the next treasure on the Geister’s list, yikes. Also, Exkaiser is being mean to kids D: POWER UP PTEDER

Episode 34: The Olympics come to Japan and the Geisters tries to steal it, but stealing something you don’t know what is, is proving to be their greatest talent and wow these guys aren’t the brightest. Aka how the Geisters fucked up the Olympics for everyone.

Episode 35: A symphony has been composed for the Braves and being the jealous fucks they are, the Geisters are of course going to ruin the concert. Here the Braves are rendered momentarily defenseless as Kouta rushes to save Kotomi, who has been trapped inside the Geisters’ minion.

Episode 36: Its Halloween and a strange creature is roaming free stealing all the festive foods! When Kouta and Kotomi get kidnapped Exkaiser can’t help but intervene.

Episode 37: The Geisters have learned that books are a great treasure and honestly the writers of this episode just wanted to have a reading prompt for the Geisters. Exkaiser is hesitating to take them back since he’s afraid of destroying them so of course, Kouta has to step in and help!

Episode 38: There’s great value in horse racing, therefor the Geisters try to kidnap the top favorite!

Episode 39: A lot of schools sends students to a space camp to give the kids' astronaut training so they can feel what it’s all about (god these kids do more in elementary than I’ve done all my life). Kouta wants to be an astronaut when he grows up and Exkaiser teaches him an important lesson but of course, the Geisters are there to ruin everything.

Episode 40: After their last fight with the Kaisers, the Geisters are in disrepair and needs a doctor, this leads Armor and Horn to kidnap a leading scientist, Tokuda and Kouta. But since Kouta can transmit his location to Exkaiser, that might have been a fatal mistake for the Geisters.

Episode 41: After the Geisters have been forced to have a temporary base somewhere VERY cold they have become quite bitter. With the upcoming bow-wow contest, the Geisters decided to steal all the dogs. However, after Mario gets hurt Exkaiser completely loses his cool.

Episode 42: After setting their temporary base on fire the Geisters have to evacuate when the Raker brothers come to help the humans stop the fire. However, after getting away with the fire trucks the Geisters are sent to grab the latest models which are incredibæy valuable.

Episode 43: Fuuko is dreading her upcoming test and wishes for the Geisters to steal her school, however, instead of hers it ends up being Kouta’s school that gets stolen and Exkaiser has to be extra careful fighting in the middle of the city!

Episode 44: Christmas is here and the Geisters are targeting Santa Clause! But how do you tell 4 aggressive robots that the person they’re trying to kidnap doesn’t exist? At the same time, Kouta’s dad is at a Christmas party but haven’t bought any gifts yet and Kouta’s mom dresses up as Santa in his stead. Ho ho ho-ly shit!

Episode 45: While going to Egypt during New Year Kouta and his friends stumble over the Emerald Stone, a very powerful artifact that the Geisters want to use to seal away Exkaiser forever.

Episode 46: Now wielding the powerful soul stealing shield the Geisters lays a plan to lure out the Kaisers and once and for all take them out. But unfortunately for Exkaiser, the fight happens on an oil platform and what is this? God Max is...

Episode 47: The Geisters are being competent and are trying to force the raker brothers and Exkaister to reveal themselves to the public, but of course, time is ticking and the playing field starts to look pretty grim for Exkaiser.

Episode 48: The final battle arrives and a lot of pressure rests on Exkaiser when he has to save his entire team and Tokuda! Luckily for him, Kouta is by his side but when Dino Geist has had enough and takes the kid for a space ride things ...escalates.

Something’s Wrong with my Flight....

Something weird is happening. I’ve taken my ipad off flight mode to connect to the internet and post this. I’ve tried checking the news but it seems…different. I should be in Morocco by now. Actually more than that, I think I should have checked into my hotel and be relaxing by the pool already. My watch has stopped working so I could be wrong but we’ve been flying for so long!

To explain, I’m flying to Morocco for a holiday – my boyfriend, Lars, suggested we get some proper sun and he’d seen a cheap deal online with some new airline where we could fly direct from Stockholm. We left our home town of Umea and spent the night before the flight with my sister and her family in their cramped city centre apartment. That should mean last night but I feel like it was so long ago.

We had an early flight so it was still dark when we left for the airport. We had a light breakfast at the airport but neither of us ate much; we were planning to continue sleeping on the flight to make up for the lack of sleep the night before. Everything went fine with check-in and boarding, it was busy but everyone looked sleepy like us – just eager to get on the flight and get to some much needed sunshine. It’s been so cold in Sweden recently, everyone just looked grey and worn down from what I can remember, although I wasn’t studying them in my sleepy state. The plane is massive – I’m sorry I’m not a plane person so I don’t know what type it is (I have an uncle who’s a geek for this stuff and could tell you the difference between an A something and an airbus something – I don’t listen as you can tell, I just zone out because I don’t care). All I know is that it’s much bigger than the little planes I use to fly to nearby European countries – this plane has 2 aisles that’s how big it is! I’m used to the little planes with 3 seats on one side, an aisle, then 3 seats on the other side. It’s pretty amazing to see one with an extra row of seats in the middle. Lars and I are in the middle row so we can’t see out of the windows at all. If I’d been by a window maybe I‘d have seen something, some change in the landscape, and could explain what’s going on.

I don’t know how long we’ve been flying. The pilot hasn’t made any announcements in ages. I read for maybe 30 minutes to relax before sleeping, while Lars just went straight to sleep. I feel like I slept for hours but it’s impossible to say. It was when I woke up and went to check the time that I saw my watch had stopped working. Lars woke up at pretty much exactly the same time as me and asked if we were nearly there yet, as if I’m flying this thing!

I sat up and looked around and that’s when I noticed everyone seemed to be doing the same as us – waking up, looking around and remembering that they were on a plane…looking at their watches and finding them broken.

That was when I started feeling nervous. Why is every watch broken? I spoke to the young family behind us - they’ve stopped at different times. I don’t know if that’s comforting or not but either way the mood on board began changing and people were looking scared. Nothing seemed obviously wrong – we were still flying, no turbulence, it’s just that everyone had gone to sleep and woken up with a broken watch. I realise there are much more sinister things that can happen on a flight but this is just weird.

Shortly after we’d all woken up the flight attendants came past with a trolley of drinks but they just ignored everyone. They called out offering drinks as they went and a few people tried to ask them the time and where we were on the journey but they just brushed everyone off, saying they’d check and kept smiling at us. I tried to put it to the back of my mind. Other passengers shook their heads or shrugged and began reading books and magazines. Bit of a weird thing but no big deal – don’t they say that everything, no matter how improbable, can happen once just by pure coincidence?

I had a selection of silly gossip magazines to keep me going for the journey. I read them one, then two, then three. I went back and read some of the articles I’d skipped over – seeing as I’m stuck on a plane I may as well read about some model I’ve never heard of and her latest divorce, anything to pass the time.

By the time I’d read all my magazines and already had that first sleep when we got on I was thinking we had to be nearly there. But nothing was happening. No announcements, no seatbelt signs to get us ready for landing. We just kept going.

I borrowed a book from Lars that he was bringing to read by the pool. I’m not that interested in crime dramas but I was so bored I would read anything. I kept reading. And reading. I kept seeing people glance up nervously and look around for the stewards but getting nothing. Everyone seems a bit on edge.

And we just kept flying. No announcements. No turbulence. Just endless flying.

The reason I’ve started writing this is that things have started to change again. Specifically the light has changed. We left in the morning and are flying south, in a journey that should only take a little over 5 hours. But about 10 minutes ago (guessing!) the sun set. I know now that means we’ve been flying for much longer than we should. I must have slept for hours.

The father of the family behind me is up, banging on the door to the cockpit. He’s screaming at them to tell us what’s going on. No one is stopping him. The flight attendants are just looking neutral, like nothing unusual is happening. Some passengers are looking the same, like they’ve zoned out. Others are crying.

I’m not sure what to do. There’s nothing I can do. We just keep flying. It’s getting darker, but it’s not just night sky darkness, it’s like there are thick black clouds outside the windows on each side, blotting out any light from the sun or moon, whatever time it is. It’s like when a storm is coming and everything gets dark and quiet. People are just sitting in their seats, staring forward, like they’re having an out of body experience. I guess it could be a coping mechanism, but so many are doing it! Even Lars has lost his energy and is just sitting next to me looking like he’s resigned himself to some awful fate – he’s just staring at the tray table.

I just fell asleep again. I didn’t even feel tired, I was awake one minute and the next I was snapping awake and it is even darker now. The clouds outside are darker, less like storm clouds, more like the smoke clouds. I remember when there was a fire at a factory on the outskirts of town once and everyone in my office block watched from the windows as the black smoke billowed up on the horizon. That’s what it looks like outside the windows now.

I’ve tried looking online to see if there’s any news but when I go to news sites it’s all scrambled. Instead of familiar words I can just see ‘’ I tried to check Facebook but it seems to be showing only old posts, like silly photo albums from parties at school and the first year of university are all showing as just posted. More people are falling asleep again. And I’ve just noticed something else – there are less people here. There are a few empty seats dotted throughout the plane that I’m sure were filled earlier. They can’t all be in the bathroom! I can’t see any stewards either. The man from the seat behind me isn’t there but he isn’t still banging on the door to the cockpit. I guess he could have been escorted somewhere like the back of the plane to calm down. I’m trying to come up with rational explanations but I’m so scared now!

Shit! The pilot has started making an announcement! “Ladies and gentleman this is your captain speaking. Apologies for the delay to your flight caused by unexpected pit stops.” What is he talking about we have not stopped once?! I’ve just looked around to see if anyone else is looking confused but everyone is either asleep or just…there. Like they’re here physically but they’re dead-eyed and silent, like dolls.

“We are now approaching your final stop and hope that you enjoy your stay. Good luck Josefin.”

What.

I just turned to Lars to ask if he heard that too – the pilot just fucking spoke to me! But he’s… different. I don’t know what it is, he was already quiet like the others but I’ve just noticed something that I hadn’t spotted before. Oh God now I’ve just realised what has seemed off about the other passengers! Something subtle has been changing in them, but I don’t know their faces so well so I didn’t see it until it started to happen to Lars! His face…it’s becoming less him and, I don’t know. It’s like his features are – generic? I don’t know, everyone looks really similar, like all the unique things about Lars have been dialled down – that bump on his nose from rugby is less pronounced, his freckles are gone. Even his hair looks tidier. And that spark in his eyes – it’s gone. Like a dummy. I tried shaking him but he just looks back vacantly, like a stranger. A stranger on some strong sedatives.

The plane is silent. I’ve stopped shaking Lars because even the sounds I’m making trying to quietly reason with him and make him speak to me are just making the plane seem even quieter, like being a loud person in church – I just feel such dread and I don’t want to draw any attention to myself. I’m the only one reacting, or moving, I feel like I’m alone. There are more empty seats now. I don’t even see people getting up from their seats – where are they going?!

Guys it’s been so long up here. We’re still flying. No signs of starting to descend. No let up from the blackness outside. Just a silent plane going around the dark skies. I don’t know how long we’ve been going, I have no way of telling anymore. If you can read this please check the news, please see if you can see any stories about a flight that hasn’t arrived, due into Marrakech on 16th March 2012, which must be at least 2 days ago by this point but who knows anymore. I’m starting to feel sleepy again…hopefully when I wake up we’ll have landed.

Misadventures of Kit: Chapter Twenty-One

written with @ocsickficsideblog

~tw death mention~

At this point, Kit was convinced his biological clock was aware of his birthday. He always woke up feeling heavy as wet cement, with a strange hollowness in his chest. The only thing that got him out of bed was Alistair’s prodding, and it took a good bit of bickering to get breakfast into him. He’d actually been doing well with eating lately, and had gotten a good report when he last checked in with the doctor, but today every bite just tasted like sawdust. Alistair knew it was a tough day for him - pretty much the toughest in the year - and sat by him as he ate, cuddling up.

Kit leaned against his cousin, prodding his food with a fork as he searched for the will to take another bite. He went completely still for a moment, then asked, “When are we going?”

“Whenever you’re ready. Now, if you like.”

Kit hastily shook his head. “No, not yet. I need to get ready.”

“As in, get dressed, or like...mentally?”

“Both.” Kit sat back in his chair, pushing his glasses up to rub his hands over his face.

“Yeah,” Alistair sighed. “I get it.”

“What if I can’t do it?”

“Then that’s okay. We can try again soon.”

Kit sighed, shoving his chair back and standing up. “I want to do it. I just… I don’t know.”

“I know,” Alistair sighed. “Trying it seems a start.”

“I feel stupid for being so scared.” Kit said, staring shamefully at the floor.

“Why is that stupid? It’s fucking tough, Kit. You’re doing fine.”

“I feel stupid for waiting so long to see her. And for being scared when I know nothing there is going to hurt me. It's not like… not like Father has ever been bothered to visit her.” Kit shifted where he stood, anxiously twisting his ring.

Alistair drooped. “Poor Auntie… That’s partly why I hated the idea of going for so long. I didn’t want to think of her under a slab of stone. I liked to picture her as a free moving spirit. Watching over you.”

“It's hard, because I know she was too practical to believe in that, so I feel stupid considering it.”

“I don’t see why not. Besides, your mum liked it when we were fanciful. She always encouraged us to play.”

Kit looked up at Alistair, a flicker of hope in his eyes. “You think?”

“Definitely,” Alistair said. “That’s what she’d want to do. You were her baby…”

Kit nodded, though he had to clench his jaw to quiet a sob. He shuffled off to the bedroom to get dressed and cry in peace. Alistair had a quick weep with his head in the wardrobe too, though he felt a bit of an idiot when Isabelle caught him, looking for a belt to borrow.

Kit was still hiding in “his” room, having spaced out sitting on the edge of the bed. He'd stopped crying only because he ran out of tears, and was still making tiny sobbing noises. Alistair eventually went off and found him, once Isabelle told him Kit was crying and the house was full of crying boys and it was worse than an entire flat of PMS-ing girls.

“Kit…”

He startled at the sound of Alistair’s voice, looking properly fearful for a split second. As soon as his focus latched on his cousin’s face, Kit relaxed, hastily swiping at his eyes. “Sorry, I… I’m trying to get ready. Can’t find an outfit.”

Alistair just sat on the bed with him and wrapped his arms around the older boy. Kit slumped against Alistair’s chest, struck with a new wave of dry sobs. Alistair held him tight, stroking Kit’s hair. It was one of the few times he didn’t feel like he needed to fill the space with conversation. They understood the grief in silence.

When he finally settled a bit, Kit opened his mouth. He wanted to say something, talk about what had been weighing on his mind all morning, but he couldn’t bring himself to start. Eventually, he just sat up, sighing and reaching for the shirts he’d laid out: a delicate blue button-up, with a dark navy jumper over the top. The colour scheme was off from his usual, but Alistair recognized it at once.

“Like Alice..?”

“I have a white sweater somewhere in my bag. I couldn’t find it…” Kit didn’t mention that was what had started him crying.

“I don’t have anything white… You could borrow Isabelle’s. I could ask her?”

Kit nodded. “Please.”

“Isabelle!” Alistair called. “Can Kit wear your white sweater?”

Isabelle came to lounge in the doorway, in the process of dragging a brush through her thick hair. “Yeah, sure. Wear what you like, it’s left in there ‘cause I never use it.”

“Do you think it would fit?” Kit fussed.

“Probably. It used to be my sister’s… She was bigger than me.”

He sighed, but nodded gratefully. “Thank you.”

She rummaged in her wardrobe, taking out the sweater. She gave the soft wool a stroke, as if it was a pony, before handing it over. Kit forced a smile, but his eyes were still teary. He traded his blue sweater for the white one, settling instead to put navy slacks and a blazer over top.

Alistair’s eyes were wide. He nudged Kit when Isabelle left. “Kit! That was her sister’s!”

“Al!” Kit mimicked the same urgency. “You’ve never told me why that would matter!”

“She’s dead!” Alistair hissed. “Like, kind of recently too. Only just over two years.”

“Gee! I wonder why I didn’t know? Oh wait. It’s because you never tell people these things, like when you realized you’d never told Julie about my mum!” Though Kit’s voice was a hissy whisper, it wasn’t sharp. He was choking up, struggling to even try to sound harsh.

“Don’t, Kit!” Alistair looked upset. “I wasn’t trying to criticise you. I was just thinking she must like you to lend you her sister’s jumper.”

The older boy deflated at once, hanging his head. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s my fault. I’m such a bloody pain,” he sighed. He wrapped his arms around Kit. “I wish she was here too.”

Kit sniffled, pulling a handkerchief from his blazer. “Not your fault.” He mumbled.

“Do you still want to go?”

Kit nodded right away. “I do. I want to go.”

“Good. Me too,” Alistair said. He squeezed Kit gently. “I’m proud of you.”

“Don't get excited yet. I don't trust myself to not fuck this up.”

“I’ll still be proud of you then.”

Kit smiled weakly. “You’re too nice to me.”

“I’m not nice. Just honest.”

“Alright, we… we should go. Where did I leave my coat?” Kit asked.

“God knows, but I bet Jules put it on the stand.”

Kit nodded, going to check the stand, where his coats indeed were. He layered them both on over his blazer - it was only getting colder, and he could barely step outside without getting frostbite. Alistair supervised like Kit was his toddler, throwing him a pair of thick thermal gloves like you’d wear for an expedition in the arctic.

“I can’t read my book with these on.” Kit argued.

“You can take them off for that,” Alistair said, rolling his eyes.

“Fine.” Kit was gathering his Alice book, his journal, and his pen into a bag. Alistair grabbed his sketchbook and art pens, not letting Kit see what he’d drawn just yet. The older boy was slow on the stairs, partly because he’d get winded otherwise, and partly because he was still nervous. Alistair reached out and held his hand like they were both little kids again. Kit squeezed it tight, his shoulder nearly touching Alistair’s as they walked.

It was particularly cold that morning, with faint white glitter on everything - it had been frosty overnight, but not properly snowed. The clouds flew across the icy blue sky, carried by a powerful wind that made Kit shiver even through five layers. Alistair had given his own hat to Kit, and was stuck wearing Julius’s pink furry ear muffs, but at least they did their job. He led Kit across town to the graveyard.

As they drew close, the sun was swallowed in grey clouds, cold wind tickling the back of Kit’s neck. He stopped at the gates, rubbing his hands together nervously. Alistair took a deep breath, his nose red. “You still want to do it?”

Kit’s face was grey under the red of his chilled cheeks. He was still for a long moment, but he nodded. Alistair nodded, his hand resting on the stone wall by the entrance. It was clear it took a lot for him to start walking too. The wind shifted a bit, and Kit forced himself inside, the trees and the stones providing some shelter from the harsh weather. Fox had been buried (to her family’s dismay) with the collection of Raycrafts past, under stones so grand Kit could have spied them without his glasses. They passed Victor’s grave on the way to hers, and Kit paused.

“I haven’t thought about Grandfather in ages…”

“I still have that amber elephant he left me in his will somewhere,” Alistair mumbled.

“I'd forgotten about that.” Kit said. “He was actually rather nice, wasn't he?”

“Yeah. A bit posh and that. But he wasn’t cruel.”

Kit nodded. “He used to share his desserts with you…” His face suddenly lit up. “Do you remember the time he grounded our parents in the middle of a party?”

Alistair snorted hard. “Oh my Lord, yes. He sent them to bed and let me and you stay up.”

“I could hear Father stomping around like an angry child all night.” Kit grinned.

“And Mother ranting. They bickered all night,” Alistair laughed.

“And they both blamed each other for weeks.”

“Nothing new there.”

Kit sighed and shook his head, straightening up from where he’d bent to look at his grandfather’s grave. He looked around the towering tombstones. “How many of my middle names do you think are buried here?”

Alistair snorted, a hand over his mouth. “Don’t, I shouldn’t be giggling in a funeral. Why can’t I ever behave right? Remember Great-Aunt Sophia’s funeral when you were about six? I needed to pee all the way through and I couldn’t concentrate on anything else.”

“I try to forget that one.” Kit couldn’t help grinning a bit, his eyes flickering around the graves as they walked deeper.

“God, that was actually painful. Felt like the longest service of my life,” Alistair said. He was trying to sound lighthearted too, but he squeezed Kit’s hand tighter. Kit’s hand squeezed his through the glove. They turned a corner in the path, and suddenly the scene was so familiar, Kit’s chest tightened.

A knotted willow perched on the edge of a tiny pond, the bare, stringy branches dancing in the wind. Nestled next to the trunk was a delicately carved granite headstone, the flecks in the rock catching what little light crept through the clouds. The neat letters in the center of the stone were all too legible even from a distance: Sinéad Dáiríne Raycraft. Kit was overwhelmed with emotions, but a flicker of confusion briefly cut through his grief.

“Al… there are fresh flowers up there.”

Alistair frowned. “Maybe they have a card or something. We can see who left them.”

Kit nodded, but he hesitated as he walked forward, as if it might be a baited trap. The wind made him shiver again, and he paused, nerves getting the better of him. Alistair ventured closer instead, though he was tentative as well, squinting curiously at the flowers.

The bouquet was chiefly made of gladiolus blooms in an array of warm hues, soft pink statice and tufts of Queen Anne's lace surrounding them. Wrapped in a shawl of off-white paper, the flowers were held in place by a wide peach ribbon; tucked into the ribbon was a small card, with gold embossing on the thick white paper. Alistair plucked it out tentatively, peering at the swirly writing.

Happy Birthday was inscribed on the front, and everything inside was handwritten with a pen.

45, huh? You’re really getting along now. I’m sure you would still look better than I do. You always did. I’m doing well enough, I suppose. I visit all the time, I just don’t always leave notes. I don’t really know where you are, but I hope Mum is with you, too. You both deserved the best. I think about you every day, even if I don’t show up for a while. I hope you like the flowers.

Love you always, Máire

Alistair read through it in silence, his shoulders slumping with grief. An image of Máire swam into focus; she’d often come to care for him and Kit if Fox was sick. “They’re from Auntie’s sister, Kit.”

The older boy ran up to see at once, reaching out for the letter. Alistair handed it over, and Kit quickly scanned through the words. He tried to keep his voice steady when he spoke. “I… I haven’t heard from Aunt Máire in years…”

“I doubt the family were too friendly to her. We should message her.”

“How would we do that?” Kit asked.

“She’s probably on Facebook. Technology is really wasted on you, Kit. Didn’t you have any awkward teenage years in your bedroom with internet porn?”

“I… no. No, I didn’t. And don’t talk about that stuff in front of Mum!” Kit huffed.

Alistair blushed. “Sorry, Auntie. But I’m sure you’d laugh anyway.”

“I want to sit down, so I can write.” Kit said. He stepped carefully around the grave, sitting by an exposed side of the tree. Alistair sat beside him.

“Are you leaving a letter?”

“I think I will, yeah.” Kit nodded.

“I will too then. To go with my picture.”

“Do I get to see your drawing yet?” Kit asked.

“If you want.” Alistair flipped through his big fancy sketchbook, shyly flashing the page at Kit.

He must have worked on it all night; it was a portrait of Fox, the scene one from Alistair’s memory, though he’d used photographs to capture her features properly. The lines were soft and gentle, like caresses, and the picture had been ever so painstakingly coloured with paints, the watercolours making Fox appear young and rich and vibrant.

Kit looked stricken; he hadn’t seen a picture of his mother since the night he was flicking through photo albums - the night he put on the dress. Tears filled his eyes, but he smiled weakly, reaching a hand out gently for the sketchbook. “Can I hold it?”

“Yeah, of course,” Alistair said, handing it over.

Kit held the book as carefully as he could, swiping his tears away before they could drip on the paper. “It’s beautiful…”

“You think it’s okay? I didn’t have as much time as I wanted.”

“It’s lovely, Al. She would be honoured.” Kit said quietly.

Alistair bit his lip, closing his eyes. “I hope so.”

Kit handed the sketchbook back to his cousin, leaning on Alistair’s shoulder. “Stay close. It’s cold.” He begged, already shivering as he took off his gloves to write.

“We could sit inside the church to write?” Alistair suggested. “Though it’s always freezing too.”

“I… I don’t want to go in the church.” Kit mumbled.

“Okay,” Alistair said, remembering the funeral. “We’ll do it here.”

Kit nodded, trying to steady his pen as it touched the paper. He was still for a moment, but then started to write.

My Beloved Mother,

It’s our birthday already. It feels so long since I’ve seen you. Al made the most gorgeous painting of you, it was absolutely surreal to look at. Seeing your face only makes me miss you more, but I would rather miss you than forget. I wish I could hear your voice again.

Aunt Máire left you flowers. I haven’t seen her in ages. Al said we should try to find her on Facebook. Part of me wants to, but I’m nervous. I haven’t really amounted to much. I don’t want her to be disappointed. I don’t want to disappoint you, either, but I think it’s a bit late for that, sadly.

Kit paused his writing, sniffling and wiping his eyes on the sleeve of his jacket. Alistair peered over and looked at his page. “She wouldn’t be disappointed, Kit.”

The older boy instinctively hid the page with his hand, staring sheepishly at the ground.

“Sorry. But she wouldn’t.”

“I know she would still be kind, but… I can’t help thinking she would’ve thought I could do better.” Kit sighed.

“Auntie would be content so long as you were happy. And it’s not as if you’re sixty, is it? There’s plenty of time to do stuff,” Alistair said.

Kit nodded, but he mostly just wanted to end the conversation. “Yeah, I guess.”

Alistair rolled his eyes, going back to his own letter. Kit stared at the page for a bit before going back to writing.

I wonder sometimes where you are, that is, if you are anywhere. It’s confusing, because I know you didn’t really believe in an afterlife, but I can’t help hoping you were wrong. I can’t stand the idea of you being completely gone. Maybe not in Heaven, per se, but some sort of spirit world where you can watch over us. Actually, I don’t know if you’d want to watch me right now. You’d probably just worry. Sorry. The more I write, the more I’m confusing myself. I’ll get back on topic.

I hope wherever you may be, you’re having a good birthday. I’m going to read Alice in a bit. You can join me, if you want. I’ll try to hold the book steady, but I’m shivering pretty badly out here. It’s freezing, literally. I can’t stand the weather this time of year. I’m glad I came to see you anyway, though.

I think I’ll come back when the weather is better. You’re in a lovely spot, you’ve got a pond and a willow tree. It’s on a slight hill, so you can see all around. Yes, I think I’ll definitely come back.

Have a splendid birthday.

Love, Kit

He set the pen down with a sigh. Alistair smiled at him, but his own eyes were full too as he wrote and scribbled little pictures. “I’ll show you mine if you show yours.”

Kit hesitated for a moment, but he eventually lifted his hand from the paper, handing it to Alistair. The younger boy gave Kit his own in return. Kit forced a smile, but he was shaking from more than just the cold as he took his cousin’s letter to read.

Dear Auntie,

Happy birthday, I guess. Seems a bit churlish to say that now, eh? Although maybe you have ghost parties somewhere. That’d be pretty cool. Anyway, it’s the first time I’ve had Kit over at my place for your birthdays. It’s hard to see him sad, of course, but I’m glad I can be with him. I get worried when he’s on his own. I bet there was a time when you did too, right?

He’d drawn a picture of himself panicking when Kit was just in the other room.

It’s a nice spot here. I bet there’s foxes at night. I’ve tried to come here twice before, but I was always alone and I couldn’t. I suppose I was scared about what I’d find. If you were hovering above, I bet you shook your head and gave me that fond, exasperated smile. Like you used to.

He’d scribbled himself and Kit as kids here, Kit very neat and placid, Alistair roly-poly and dirty, his hair tousled.

I don’t have any blooming money for anything, so I had to draw you a picture for your birthday. It was kind of short notice, but I hope you like it anyway. I miss you. It’s a bit too real, seeing that headstone, the turf. Maybe up until now I could just about kid myself you were on a very long exotic holiday or something. Or went to live up north somewhere, maybe back home in Ireland.

The handwriting grew even worse in the last paragraph.

I’m making myself cry and I don’t want to cry, not when poor Kit is holding it together. I know I’m supposed to be celebrating your life and everything that people say, but it’s not fair. You deserved more life.

Alright, I’d better shut up now - Kit says I babble. But I’ll come back, with Kit too if he wants, and I’ll leave more letters. I won’t leave you lying alone with all these stuffy assholes anymore. I love you.

All my love, Alistair x

Kit sat quietly for a while after he finished. He felt stupid sobbing now that Alistair had said he was staying calm, but the swelling grief in his chest made him want to wail. Eventually he swallowed down the scream building in his throat. “What… what does the X at the end mean?”

“It’s a kiss. You put them on the end of messages,” Alistair said quietly.

“Oh… that makes sense.” Kit actually smiled a little, but his lower lip was wobbling. “Do… do you want to give her our letters now, or… or when we leave?”

“We may as well give them now. I brought those plastic sleeve thingies that go in binders, so they won’t get wet if it rains.”

Kit smiled properly at that. “Really? I would never have thought of that…”

“Leave it to the artist,” Alistair joked, grinning. He handed Kit a plastic sleeve, and slipped his picture and his letter into two separate ones. Kit fumbled for a minute, his fingers half numb from the cold. Eventually, though, he slipped the paper into his own sleeve, setting it carefully by the headstone. Alistair put his beside Kit’s, weighing them down with a few rocks from the footpath.

Kit walked back to sit by the tree, reaching into his bag for his book. He was shivering pretty badly by now, but had no intention of leaving yet. Alistair was looking worried. He took his coat off and wrapped it around Kit. The older boy frowned.

“Al, don’t. You still need that.”

“It’s alright, I’ve got my jumper on,” Alistair said. He was cold, but he’d rather Kit be warm.

Kit sighed. “But… we still… I…” He gave up, unable to argue when he was so cold and miserable. “Stay close to me.”

Alistair cuddled up against Kit, positioning himself like he once had when Kit read to him as a kid. Kit held the book where his cousin could read, but he couldn’t bring himself to read aloud. His hands were shaking as he flipped to the first page, and he had to grip the book firmly to keep from dropping it. As he continued to read, he slumped down the tree, sniffling and fumbling through the pages. It took all of his self-control to keep reading, and at this point he was really just skimming. Tears flooded his cheeks and he didn’t bother to wipe them away, letting the bitter drops collect on his scarf.

Kit was in too much of a mournful stupor to notice, but Alistair had seen the light gradually fading, and he frowned when a white fleck landed on his cheek. Snowflakes drifted gently between the bare branches of the willow, landing in Kit’s hair and lashes. He had stopped turning the pages of his book, just staring blankly at an inky illustration as a delicate layer of frost accumulated on the page.

“We should go, Kit,” Alistair said quietly. “You’re starting to look like the Little Match Girl.”

“I don’t want to leave.” Kit mumbled. He’d drifted off into thought a while back, and now he dared to voice it. “What if she is watching, but she’s tethered here? What if she thinks I haven’t been bothered to visit till now?”

“She’ll understand,” Alistair said. “She’s seen you here now.”

“But I waited so long. What if she waited for ages and stopped watching?” Kit’s voice was wobbling as he tried not to wail.

Alistair put an arm around Kit. He couldn’t feel his own fingers and toes. “She wouldn’t ever give up on you.”

Kit leaned into Alistair, suddenly letting out a proper sob. “Why would she keep caring when even I don’t?”

“You do,” Alistair said, his voice wobbling too. “That’s why you’re here right now.” He hugged Kit tight, looking up through the flurries of snow in a sudden mad hope that his aunt might manifest herself. Kit let his book fall to his lap, clinging to Alistair as he continued to cry. He was shivering again, even with his cousin’s jacket over all of his, and his nose and cheeks were as red as his hair.

“We should go, Kit. You’re going to freeze. We can come back as often as you want.”

Kit didn’t argue, despite how much he didn’t want to leave. He allowed Alistair to pack up his book and writing things and pull him to his feet. For the first few paces, he walked obediently, but he paused in front of Fox’s grave when a fresh wave of guilt hit him.

“I’m sorry…” Kit mumbled, kneeling down in the frosted grass. “I’m sorry I didn’t come more often. I’m sorry I let you go so soon. I’m sorry I’m not the son you wanted…” That seemed like the crux of his rambling, and Alistair was ready to drag Kit on out of the graveyard when the silence was broken by a wretched sob.

“I’m sorry I kept you trapped with him!”

“It wasn’t your fault, Kit,” Alistair said, weeping too. “She loved you.””

“She didn’t deserve it. I wasn’t worth it. She could’ve had a life without me, Al…” Kit was hunched over, practically hugging the tombstone as snow gathered on his shaking shoulders.

“You were her life. She was stuck with him when she married him, you weren’t to blame, Kit,” Alistair said, going to put a hand on Kit’s back. “You were a kid.”

Kit shook his head, shriveling under his cousin’s touch. “But she could’ve left if she didn’t have me. She should’ve just left me with him, like… like I deserved.”

“She’d never do that. You’re worth better than that, Kit! If she was alive, she’d be telling you this too.”

“It’s my fault she’s not alive!” Kit sobbed. “She wasted all of her energy caring for me instead of taking care of herself.”

“Oh come on, you were never any trouble! If we’re going by that logic, I probably killed her more than you,” Alistair said.

Kit might’ve laughed on a better day, but he just sobbed harder. “Don’t say that!”

“Neither of us killed her, Kit! She died, and it’s really fucking horrible and bloody unfair, but it’s not your fault,” Alistair said, holding Kit’s shoulders. The older boy clung to the tombstone, sniffling quietly. It took a long time for him to settle enough to speak again.

“I… I don’t want to leave… to leave her again…” Kit mumbled.

“We can't stay here, Kit. Not tonight. It’s freezing.”

“You can go, then. I can’t.” Kit shook his head.

“I’m not leaving you here to freeze to death. Kit, please, you’re shaking already,” Alistair begged. “You can’t really stay with Auntie. She’s not here, Kit. That’s just her headstone…” He was sobbing too, the tears freezing on his face.

“That’s all I have!” Kit wailed, but his grip on the granite loosened in defeat. Alistair fell to his knees beside Kit in the settling snow, wrapping his cousin in his arms.

“Don’t you have pictures?”

“I… I did. At home. I don’t… I haven’t looked at them… in… in a while.” Kit realized that sounded stupid without context, but he didn’t have the energy, physical or emotional, to elaborate.

“You can hold onto those, can’t you?”

“I suppose, yeah… But they’re… they’re not at your house. They’re at Father’s.” Kit sighed, letting go of the tombstone to cling to Alistair instead. He was barely even shivering anymore, but he was freezing to the touch.

“Fuck, we need to get you inside… Where’s your phone, let me call Taddy…” Alistair sent him a text, his frozen fingers moving laboriously. “And I have a little handful of photos. Only about four or five. Will that do?”

Kit nodded meekly. “You.. you never told me you had pictures.”

“I thought you might be mad. I pinched them out the photo albums when I was little.”

Kit sniffled, actually managing a laugh at that. “I wouldn’t be mad…”

“You can have them if you like. If you don’t want to go back to your father’s place,” Alistair offered.

“No, they… they’re yours.” Kit argued. “I just want to see them.” There was less conviction in his voice now; he didn’t sound desperate, just sad and tired.

Alistair nodded, picking Kit up when he spotted Taddy’s car. “Come on, you’re frozen.”

“You’re warm.” Kit nodded, leaning on his cousin. Alistair was still warmer than him, despite having four less layers on. Taddy waved in greeting as the boys approached, getting out to open the door for them.

“Afternoon, sirs. It’s a bit cold to be out, but I do have the heater on.”

“Thank Christ,” Alistair mumbled, pulling Kit inside and slamming the door. He quickly pulled Kit’s gloves off, rubbing his pale hands between his own. “I can’t feel my fingers and toes…”

“Sorry…” Kit sighed, sinking back in the heated leather seat. He was vaguely aware of the melting snowflakes dampening his hair, but didn’t have the energy to complain.

“Back to your place, then?” Taddy asked Alistair.

“Yes please. I’ll toss you in the bath, Kit,” Alistair said. “Heating the water up slowly. I know what to do, we were taught that in first aid.”

Taddy nodded and drove off down the slick grey road, but Kit whined at his cousin. “I don’t want a bath. I want to sleep.”

“You’re cold! Look, you can doze in the bath while it’s happening. I used to do that when I got a bath before school. Almost bloody overslept all the time.”

“Blankets are warm. I want to go to bed.” Kit pouted.

“You will. Eventually. Look, you might need those fingers and toes some day,” Alistair said.

“Don’t want them. Want to nap.” Kit said, drooping sideways across Alistair’s lap. Taddy snorted from the front seat.

Alistair rolled his eyes, but he was grinning too. He stroked Kit’s damp hair. “We’re soaked…”

“How long were you two outside?” Taddy asked.

“A few hours…”

Taddy looked horrified. “What on earth for?”

“It’s our birthday…” Kit mumbled into Alistair’s legs.

“He wanted to stay,” Alistair said quietly.

“I see.” Taddy shook his head quietly. While he understood the boys’ logic to an extent, he still didn’t think anyone should be sitting out in the snow longer than necessary. He didn’t lecture them, though; he knew it was a rough day. When they reached the block of flats, Taddy pulled up as close to the door as he could. “You two go inside and get properly warm.”

“Thanks, Taddy,” Alistair said, picking Kit up again.

“Of course. Have a good night, sirs.”

Chapter 65: Sometimes I Can’t See Myself

Rating: T Fandom: The 100 Pairing: Bellamy x Clarke Chapter: 65/66 Word Count: 4378 Words

Chapter Summary: The one where Bellamy and Clarke define the relationship.

A/N: Wow, a new chapter? Surprise, surprise. I read a fic tonight that was so angsty that I needed some fluff in my life and I was like, “Hey, Erin, you’ve got some fluff in your fucking WIP. GO WORK ON THAT.” SO I DID!!!! Fluff is super out of my comfort zone and I’m still not 100% happy with this, but I also love it at the same time. I haven’t really edited the last 600 words, so I hope I didn’t mess anything up too much. And I hope that this was worth the wait! One more until the end. :)

Also on AO3;  Start from the beginning on AO3

Clarke groaned the fifth time she heard her phone vibrate on the nightstand. She kept her eyes shut tight. All she wanted to do was bask in the fact that she was in Bellamy’s bed with his arm around her and she was warm. But then it buzzed again, louder if that was possible. Bellamy tightened his grip on her waist and pressed his lips to the back of her neck.

“What time is it?” His voice was rough with sleep. It made Clarke grin.

“I don’t know.” Her voice was equally heavy. She cleared her throat and it helped a little. “I’m too comfortable. You look.”

“It’s your phone that’s about to shake its way off the table,” Bellamy said, just as his phone buzzed on the other side of the bed.

“And that means it’s probably your sister.” Clarke groaned again as she stretched her arm out. Her phone was just inches away from the tips of her fingers. Placating Octavia was important, but it was so. Far. Away.

“You’re so lazy.”

Before Clarke could protest, she was flattened by Bellamy reaching over her and pulling the phone into the bed. “I would have got it eventually,” she tried to grumble, but it came out as more of a laugh. “Oh my god, I have fifteen missed texts.”    

Bellamy’s phone buzzed again and she frowned as he rolled away from her, because it seemed awful that someone could interrupt her perfect morning. Her phone buzzed, again, and she finally gave in and unlocked it.

Octavia 9:12am Did you stay out all night? your car is gone did someone kidnap you??????? 9:40am uh, your car is at grounders but you’re not inside? Where are you? 9:50am Claaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarke

Raven 9:53am I’m not opposed to you getting some but you should have told us you were going out you did go out right? I hope you’re not as dead as Octavia thinks you are

Octavia 10:02am raven thinks you hooked up with someone if you did and you don’t want to tell me because of bell i mean i'd be pissed at you for denying your destiny but we’re friends you don’t have to hide it from me 10:05am Claaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarke

Clarke sent a quick message to both assuring them that she was fine along with a vague threat about waking her up before her alarm went off. She claimed that she drank too much with her lab partner and had to take a Lyft home. It was a safe lie, because Raven would be at work and Octavia would be on her way to class.

Bellamy choked on laughter behind her and then traded phones with her so they could read each other’s messages.

Octavia 9:43am hey, have you heard from Clarke today? 9:59am Answer me i know you’re awake

Bellamy 10:10am I can’t immediately answer all of your texts. And no. Her first class isn’t until 12:30. She’s definitely not awake yet.

Octavia 10:12am i guess you’re right her car was gone this morning and it freaked me out sounds like she had to lyft home last night sorry if I worried you too

Bellamy 10:14am You didn’t. Clarke never wakes up before she has to.

Clarke snorted and gave him his phone back, putting her own back on the side table before promptly turning around to snuggle into his side. He adjusted himself so she could lay her head on his chest and traced circles between her shoulder blades. She made herself comfortable so that she could try to absorb everything that had happened the day before.

After the café had only taken them twenty minutes, they wanted to keep hanging out, but weren’t sure where to go. They went somewhere else for brunch and then ended up at a matinee showing of a movie she didn’t remember. It was really only a place to make out where no one could see them.

By the time he knew that both Miller and Harper would be gone, they couldn’t get back to his apartment fast enough. They couldn’t even get their clothes off fast enough, once they got there. At least, not the first time. And then it was pizza in bed, followed by more sex, followed by Bellamy having to scout out the hallway so Clarke could actually pee. But it had been a good fucking night. And waking up with Bellamy next to her was even better, because it meant everything had been real.

“We didn’t talk much last night,” Bellamy said, breaking her out of her thoughts.

One glance up at him and his smirk said that he knew exactly what she had been thinking about. She hooked her leg over his and tried to scoot closer. “I guess we said most of the important things in the morning.”

“Not all of them,” he mumbled into her hair. “But most of them anyway.”

Clarke grinned up at him then. “Well, what did we miss? I’m in this. You’re in this. I think that those are the two of the most important bases.”

His left hand dug into her spine a bit while he used the other to pull her face to his so he could kiss her. It was sweet and soft and short. She could see the thoughts he was working through. It was obvious to her that he was trying to figure out how much was too much too soon. It was a question that bothered her a little, because what they had mattered. There was no way she was going to let it disappear.

So, she kissed him again and then smiled. “You’re my boyfriend now, right?”

His eyebrows shot up and he laughed. It was a good sound and Clarke wanted to soak it in forever.

“Right?” She wiggled in even closer. His grin was blinding. “Say it, Bellamy. Say you’re my boyfriend.”

Instead, he kissed her and she let him roll her onto her back. But he pulled back and hovered over her on his elbows, studying her face, occasionally twirling a piece of her hair through his fingers.

“Everyone’s going to freak out,” he said finally, a little resigned. Then, hurriedly, he added, “In a good way.”

“Kind of like you are?” She wasn’t sure what he was searching her face for, but she wanted to make him feel better.

“Yeah, I guess,” he laughed quietly. “I’m not freaking out though. I just can’t believe this is happening.”

“In a good way, right?”

“Yes, in a good way.” He hesitated for a moment. “I’m just really into you, Clarke.”

“It’s a good thing I’m really into you, too, then. Isn’t it?”

He let himself fall back onto his side of the bed and she frowned, but instead of following him, Clarke rolled onto her side and watched him continue to work through it all.

“You’re really cute when you think and everything, but you need to tell me what’s going on. No more secrets, remember? They cause us years of misery.”

Bellamy scoffed, but rolled over to face her all the same. “I just don’t think we should tell those assholes right away.”

Clarke could feel her own eyebrows shoot up and Bellamy frowned like he thought he said the wrong thing. “No,” she said quickly. “I think that’s a good idea.”

“You don’t have to—”

“I’m serious, Bellamy,” she said as she pushed herself closer to him. She trailed her hand along his arm. “We could enjoy this, enjoy each other, without everyone butting in and giving their opinions.”

He finally let out a relieved sigh. “That’s exactly what I was thinking.”

Then, without warning, he pinned her down and kissed her quite thoroughly. Clarke giggled and turned her head to the side, but he just moved his attention to her neck.

“I swear, one minute you’re so serious and now—” He bit her earlobe, cutting her off with a shiver. “Bellamy, you know I need to go soon.”

“I don’t know if that’s true,” he mumbled into her collarbone before trailing kisses down her sternum. “I think you need to stay here.”

“Yeah, but—” She inhaled sharply as he suddenly ran his tongue along her hip bone.

“I really need some time to appreciate my new girlfriend,” he said between sloppy kisses down her thigh.

How was she supposed to argue with that?

Another hour later, Clarke had finally convinced Bellamy that she needed to put pants on, but she couldn’t find her bra. Writing it off as a temporarily lost cause, she pulled her shirt on and sighed. “Do you have a sweatshirt I can borrow or something?”

“I mean, I like the braless look, but if you have to cover up….” Bellamy trailed off as he buttoned his own jeans.

Clarke rolled her eyes and grabbed a hoodie out of his closet. She pulled her hair into a ponytail next, hoping it wasn’t sticking out everywhere. Unfortunately, Bellamy didn’t have a mirror in his room. That would have to change if they were going to be able to pull off any semblance of secrecy.

When she turned around, a fully clothed Bellamy was there, pulling her into a hug. “I like you in my clothes.”

“I like me in your clothes, too.” Clarke grinned into his chest for a moment, savoring every inch of contact. But she had to push away, because they were running out of time. “I’m glad Octavia won’t be there to witness me walking in wearing the same clothes I left in yesterday.”

“And what would you do if she were there to witness your ‘walk of shame’?” Bellamy asked, grinning.

“I’d climb in through my window.”

His grin dropped. “Your room is on the second floor.”

Clarke smiled sweetly. “It’s not that hard. And you should probably get used to it if we’re actually not going to tell anyone about this for a while.”

“You’re sure you’re on board with that?”

“Our friends are assholes and will never leave it alone. It’s a good idea.”

“I don’t want you to feel like a dirty, little secret.”

“But aren’t I?” Clarke bit her lip and batted her eyes at him.

Bellamy rolled his eyes, but only lasted about ten seconds before he pulled her in for a kiss. One of his hands dug into her hair and the other started making its way up the back of her shirt.

“I’m already almost too sore to walk,” Clarke muttered against his lips. “You need to stop this or I’m never going to be able to leave.”

He pouted. “I’m just trying to enjoy kissing you whenever I want.”

“And I’m enjoying it, too, but I need a shower.”

“Fine.” He ran a thumb along her cheek. “I think we’re making the right decision.”

Clarke leaned into his hand. “Hmm? You mean the being with each other thing or the not telling our friends yet?”

“Both.” He kissed her nose and Clarke wanted to melt into a puddle. “We don’t have to deal with our feelings being a spectacle.”

“Yet. Plus, sneaking around will be fun.” Clarke grinned. “Can I see you tonight?”

“You can even teach me how to climb up to your window.” He kissed her and then pushed her back before she could deepen it at all. “Get away from me so I can check the living room for you, because if you stay here any longer, I’m not going to be able to let you leave.”

When he closed the door behind him, Clarke leaned against his desk. She wondered if she would ever stop smiling.

Not telling their friends had been easier than Clarke expected. They were surprisingly dense about something they were supposedly so invested in. If anything, Octavia and Raven seemed to be almost mad at her, because they attributed the improvement in her mood to sex. It blew Clarke’s mind that neither of them realized that Bellamy was just as giddy and instead assumed that she was sleeping with her very fictional lab partner.

It had also been easier to find time alone than Clarke expected. No one thought it was weird that Bellamy and Clarke spent all their time together. And through Lyft and Bellamy’s increasing ability to scale the side of her house, they were able to spend most nights together.

If they couldn’t spend the night, they were almost always able to find ten minutes to meet. Even if it was just ten minutes of making out in one of their cars, it counted. And they talked on the phone any night they couldn’t get to each other. Really, it didn’t feel much different than their relationship before, except that they got to make out and give each other orgasms. It was pretty ideal in Clarke’s book.

Clarke knew that movie night was going to be a challenge, though. It was becoming gradually more difficult to keep her hands off of him in front of people. Even though no one had showed up at his place yet, she tried to practice keeping her distance. She sat on the kitchen counter and watched him put groceries away. Her eyes lingered on the way his shirt stretched across his shoulders; the way it lifted up to expose the smallest amount of skin when he had to put something on the top shelf. It seemed like such a shame not to take advantage of it before people started to show up.

Bellamy glanced over then, almost as if he could read her mind. He crossed the small spaced between them and hooked his hands under her knees, pulling her close and kissing her hard. His hand was up her shirt, her hands were in his hair, and it wasn’t until his other hand reached for the button of her jeans that she realized they were getting carried away.

She managed to stop him from unzipping her pants. “I’m supposed to be helping you get ready for movie night. We’re not supposed to be making out in your kitchen.”

“I know, but that’s stupid,” he said, laughing, before he kissed her again.

She pushed on his shoulder. “You’re saying we have enough time before everyone gets here?”

Bellamy glanced over at the microwave and frowned. “I can just lock the door. It would give us a warning.”

“And immediately make all of them suspicious.” Clarke laughed, thinking of the varied reactions their friends would have to his door being locked. “We’re being reckless. How have we not been caught yet?”

“I don’t know.” Bellamy sighed and buttoned her jeans for her, patting her hip before returning to his task of pulling snacks out of the grocery bags. “Harper and Miller actually keep asking me who I’m fucking.”

“Raven and O just think I’m fucking ‘Janine’.”

“They haven’t realized that you don’t actually have a lab partner?”

“No.” Clarke scoffed and readjusted her shirt. “Do our friends never talk to each other?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, this is something I’d come to you about. ‘Hey, Bellamy, Raven’s gone all the time.’ And you’d respond with, ‘Weird. Wells is always busy lately.’ And then we’d realize that Raven and Wells were fucking.”

Bellamy snorted. “Do you think they’re actually fucking?”

Clarke shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe once we admit we’re in a relationship, she’ll ask him out. I swear he’s the reason things fizzled out so quickly with Roan.”

“Our relationship could be the domino that starts knocking everything over. Raven might realize it’s not the end of the world to make out with your friends. Miller might finally ask Monty out. We’ll turn into this group full of couples.”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “Octavia would be ecstatic.”

“Speaking of Miller, he might be getting suspicious.”

Clarke winced. “Did he see my car here the other day?”

“I blame you and your last-minute need for a booty call.” Bellamy grinned and tucked the empty grocery bags into a drawer. “You need to get a better check on your hormones, Princess.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you want that.”

“I definitely don’t want that.” He sauntered back over to her and kissed her again. “Are you sure I can’t lock the door?”

Clarke was about to consider it in a moment of weakness, but then the door slammed open and Bellamy jumped back. Her heart pounded in her chest and she hoped she looked less shocked than he did as Octavia, Miller, and Wells led the way into the apartment.

Octavia did a double take when she saw them both in the kitchen and stopped midsentence. “I didn’t know you were already here, Clarke.”

“Yeah, I ran into Bellamy at the store, so I offered to help him out.”

“I think she’s stalking me, O. Control your roommate.”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “You wish. It’s not my fault you put off shopping to the last possible minute.”

“Don’t fuck up my popcorn.” Octavia narrowed her eyes at them before she went back into the living room to continue arguing with Miller over which movie to watch first.

Bellamy exhaled an exaggerated sigh of relief and Clarke hopped off the counter to smack his arm. They worked together to get the pizza started and set up the snacks and it suddenly seemed so silly that they had waited so long to go out. Their teamwork was probably even improved by the kisses he kept sneaking every time they were alone for ten seconds. Clarke was sure they would get caught. A part of her even wanted them to, but their friends have shitty timing. Or great timing.

When they sat in their regular spots and she leaned up against his leg, she was worried that anyone else would notice how content she looked. But Octavia shot her dirty looks from across the living room and it seemed like she still assumed that Clarke shouldn’t be acting that way when she was sleeping with someone else. She hoped she looked appropriately abashed, even though she refused to move.

And when it was time to go home, she hugged him. She listened to him say his goodbyes to everyone else, but she could feel his eyes on her. When she looked back, he grinned and she was sure she immediately started to blush. It was nearly impossible not to break down and run back to kiss him. To yell to everyone that she was so in love with him that she could hardly think straight. Still, she kept her composure and went home. But when she pulled into her driveway, her phone started buzzing in her purse.

Bellamy 10:34pm I miss you already. Harper’s out with Maya. Miller’s working until 3 Please come back.

Fuck being careful anyway. She missed him, too. 

An incredibly full bladder woke Clarke a little after two in the morning. She rolled over to look at Bellamy. He was so cute in his sleep that she couldn’t bear to wake him up to check if the coast was clear. She rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. Harper would be home and her bedroom had an attached bathroom, so there wasn’t a risk running into her in the hall. And Miller worked late. She was probably safe.

Clarke pulled on one of Bellamy’s shirt and tiptoed to the bathroom.

It wasn’t until she finished washing her hands that she heard shuffling in the hall and froze. At first, she thought it might be Bellamy checking on her, but then she heard the keys.

The final nail in the coffin was a sharp knock on the door. “Come on, dude, I’ve been holding it for my entire shift.”

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

Clarke hesitated with her hand over the doorknob, but then he knocked again. She was terrified that if he kept knocking, it would wake up Harper, so she held the shirt down with one hand and yanked the door open with the other.

Miller blinked and Clarke waited, but he didn’t speak.

“Hey.” She broke first.

“Uh, he—hi Clarke?” He scratched the back of his head. “What’s up?”

“Not much.”

“I didn’t realize you were here, Clarke.” He glanced down, noticed her lack of pants, and wide eyes shot back up to meet hers.

“Yeah, I know.” Her voice was higher than she was used to, so she cleared her throat before sidling past him. “I’m going… back… to bed.”

She refused to look back.

When she climbed back into bed, Bellamy mumbled something and pulled her into his chest. Well… fuck being careful, right?

Bellamy watched Clarke as she picked up her clothes off the floor and got dressed. He tried to hold in his laughter while she recounted her run-in with Miller in the hall for the second time.

“It was horrifying, Bellamy! I was basically in my underwear.”

He coughed on a laugh. “I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.”

“Underwear, Bellamy.” Her voice was muffled by her shirt as she pulled it over her head.

“It could have been worse.”

She glared at him and fell back onto his bed, covering her eyes with her forearm. “The only way it could have been worse if it had been Jasper.”

Bellamy did laugh, then, and she just grunted. It was a cute noise that made his heart swell. Before he could stop himself, he crawled down the bed so his face was near hers and kissed her on the nose. “You’re cute when you’re flustered.”

“Eh, you always think I’m cute.”

“That’s because you are always cute.” He kissed her chin. “Whatever happens, it’ll be okay.”

“I know.” Clarke pulled her arm away from her face and pouted at him. “Things are just going to be… different, now. Everyone’s going to have opinions, an—”

“Hey.” Bellamy sat up and grabbed her hand. “I love what we have, but we have been pretty reckless lately.” Clarke rolled her eyes and he laughed again. “Really, we have. It’s almost like we don’t care if we get caught.”

“Well, I’m sure it will be fine, but I’m just….” She trailed off and Bellamy waited her out while she sat up on her knees and grabbed his hand. “Everyone’s going to have opinions on this. What if… I don’t know what I’m worried about, really.”

Bellamy squeezed her hand. “No one’s opinion is going to matter. What matters is that I love you and we’re in this together.”

Clarke’s eyes went wide and Bellamy swallowed hard. He’d imagined telling her he loved her a thousand times over the last few years and was a little ashamed that it fell out with zero plan. He wasn’t even sure if they were there in their relationship. It wouldn’t bother him if she didn’t say if back, but he wanted to—

Bellamy’s thoughts were interrupted by her fingers in his hair as she pulled him into a frantic set of kisses. His hands immediately went to her waist and he tugged her onto his lap. He barely registered a knock on the door and yelled, “Go away!” The knock came again and they both groaned. Clarke set her forehead on his shoulder. “Who is it?”

The door opened a crack and Miller poked his head in. His eyes went wide at the sight of fully-dressed Clarke sitting in shirtless-Bellamy’s blanket-covered lap. He squeezed through a crack in the door and leaned against it as it shut. Clarke buried her face into Bellamy’s shoulder.

“Please tell me you have pants on,” Miller said after an extended period of awkward eye contact.

“Bellamy sleeps naked,” Clarke mumbled into his shoulder and Miller shuddered.

Bellamy snorted. “We’ve lived together for four years. I thought you knew that.”

“I don’t need to know all this. I just wanted to….” Miller rubbed his hair and gestured at Clarke. “I don’t know if I should say congratulations or about damn time. When it’s clearly been going on for… a while.”

“A month.” Clarke finally looked at Miller. Her cheeks were rosy in the cutest way and Bellamy wanted to kiss her again. “Tomorrow it’ll be a month.”

Miller kicked his feet and looked at the floor.

“Sorry I didn’t tell you, man,” Bellamy said. “We just wanted to—”

“No, I get it. We’re all pretty much the worst.” Miller looked at Clarke again. “Sorry if I scared you last night.”

“It’s okay,” she said.

The silence started to stretch uncomfortably. Bellamy wondered if Clarke knew that she was digging her fingers into his shoulder.

“I can go check if the living room is clear,” Miller offered. “If you’re getting ready to head out.”

Clarke broke into a grin. “That would be great. I have a class in half an hour.”

Miller snuck out the same way he snuck in and Clarke turned to Bellamy, half-hopeful, half-terrified. Bellamy tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and kissed her on the cheek.

“That wasn’t so bad.”

“Miller hasn’t been that weird around me in at least two years.”

“I’m sure this comes as a little bit of a surprise. I mean, he’s always known I sleep naked, but it’s another thing to be confronted with the proof.”

Clarke giggled and set both hands on his face. He leaned into one as her thumbs caressed his cheeks. First, she kissed his nose and then his forehead before she set her forehead against his.

“I love you, too, you know.”

The words were soft and honestly the best thing that Bellamy had ever heard anyone say to him. Ever. In the history of his life. Tears stung the corner of his eyes and he brought one of his hands up to her face before he kissed her gently. Lazily. He didn’t deepen it, not sure when Miller would be back.

“Fuck, Clarke, I’ve loved you for the longest time.” He used his free arm to pull her in as close as possible.

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and burrowed back into his shoulder. “Me too, Bellamy. I don’t even know when it started.”

They sat in silence and he soaked it in. Clarke was his. She loved him. He loved her. Overall, his life was pretty fucking perfect.

Just For Me: Chapter 47

A/N: Some closure for everyone’s favorite (or second favorite) blonde and next chapter: Wedding! (or rehearsal for wedding. Close enough, right?)

Previous Chapters

The knock comes a few years after Theo expected it would (he thought he was safe), and the face on the other side of the door? Yeah, she’s not the one he planned on - he was expecting the FedEx guy and Steve (that’s his name) (Theo knows him well) (Mrs. Theo orders a lot) (like a lot) doesn’t look a thing like Lauren, but it’s not like he knew it was gonna be her when he got to the door.

If he had… well… he wonders, briefly, if it would make him somewhat less of a man if, instead of answering, he ran and hid, like maybe under the bed - he’s assuming that the very very very last place Lauren would want to go is anywhere near his bed - though, if he’s logical about it, he’d be better off choosing a place just a bit higher up.

Cause, you know, tiny Lauren.

Tiny in height only and it takes all of three seconds and one glare and the sight of both her fists clenched at her side for Theo to remember that height ain’t everything.

With her? It ain't anything.

So, he wonders (briefly) if it would make him less of a man and then, even more briefly (cause easy answer) if he cares that it would.

It takes all of two seconds and the sight of both those fists for him to answer.

Oh. Fuck. No.

Which is, ironically, the very first thought that runs through his mind when he opens the door to see her standing there (lie) (the first thought: damn, she’s aged well) (which is fucking ridiculous cause it’s been like a few years, not a decade or some shit, so he’s being totally sexist, but also, she has aged well, as in almost not at all and Theo is suddenly very self-conscious of the grays dotting his head, sorta like Obama halfway through his first term except, you know, not remotely as distinguished.)

So, first thought: hot (basically). Second thought: the aforementioned Oh. Fuck. No. Third thought: I hope she’s not armed.

Fourth thought: Actually, I hope she is, cause it’ll be a quicker death and maybe there’ll be a bit of evidence and my murder - my totally justified murder - won’t go unsolved.

And then comes the fifth thought which, not surprisingly, circles back around to oh and fuck and no before Lauren finally puts him out of his misery, though not in the way he’d have expected.

“Can I come in?”

Um… well…

Theo’s a bit too dumbstruck (and still stuck on vacillating back and forth between hot and that other thing) to really use his words, so he just steps back, making room for her to pass.

He considers not shutting the door, so at least there might be witnesses, but then there might be witnesses and Theo thinks he’d prefer the whole neighborhood remember him as the strapping and studly dad down the block, not the quivering mass of ’I’m sorry’ that he’s sure he’s about to become.

Lauren takes a look around the foyer, her glance lingering just a bit too long on the one painting by the stairs and yeah, Theo knew buying that and hanging it there (her favorite and in the spot she’d always imagined it going, someday) was probably not his best choice but, in his defense, he didn’t think she’d ever actually see it. Hell, he’s still not sure she actually is.

He was out by the pool. And the deck was wet and slippery. And he totally could’ve slipped and fell, banging his head and, right now, he’s slowly drowning and all of this is a weird death-lusion and soon he’ll wake up somewhere very warm and perfectly deserved.

He’s not sure that wouldn’t be better.

“I’d guess you weren’t really expecting me,” Lauren says and, try as he might, Theo can’t find even a hint of snark in her voice - she sounds almost plaintive - and that’s actually worrisome, and so not her.

Not that he knows what's not her anymore. He hasn’t in a while. Like five years kind of a while and it’s so fucking odd how it feels like just yesterday.

He can only hope it doesn’t feel that way for her cause, you know, fresh pain and all.

Theo shrugs, which seems to be about the best he can manage. He wasn’t expecting her. He wasn’t (as noted) expecting anyone except, maybe, Steve. He thought that knock knock knock might have been a(nother) delivery. Maybe some (more) clothes or, perhaps, that blender she’s been raving about (and yes, ’she’ is how he thinks of his wife right now, like he can’t remember her name.) Or maybe it was some more of those toys she’s been ordering.

And, it should also be noted, that by ‘toys’, he means toys. Like for a kid. Not, you know… toys.

She (Lisa) (her name is Lisa) doesn’t order those and no, that’s totally not one of the things he’s missed over the years. (Lie) (again.) Not that, you know, Lauren ever ordered toys. She would just borrow them from Reagan and yes, that is as extra dirty as it sounds but now, with all of that hindsight that comes with age and time and living with a wife (Lisa) (for fuck’s sake) whose idea of kinky is doing it with the lights on, Theo’s come to think of a little bit of… dirt… as a good thing.

It’s just a thing he tries not to think about too often and, by 'too often’, he means like at all, cause there are some things better off left in the past. Choices and memories and choices and people and did he mention choices cause he should have, especially since he knows that he’s the one who made all of those and he’s OK with that, really he is.

As long as he doesn’t think about it too much.

Which, you know, is usually kinda easy. But then, usually, one of those choices - the only one that fucking matters - isn’t staring at him like she’s trying to see right into his soul and OK, he’s probably exaggerating that a bit.

A tiny bit.

“I didn’t think… I never planned…” Lauren shakes her head and turns away, her eyes finding that painting again. “Is that the original?” she asks and he nods. “Thought so. The colors are brighter than the one… we had.”

We. They. Had, as in together, as in their home, as in the place that was theirs. So, you know, that one.

It hung in their hall. Upstairs. On the way from the half bath to the master bedroom and Lauren always swore that when (never if) she found the original - and not some very good but not quite right copy - she’d hang it right downstairs, right by the door.

“Where everyone can see it,” she said.

Theo tries not to think about what she did with it - that very good but not quite right, all kinds of wrong, in fact, copy - on her way out that last day. It’s best, he’s come to think, not to dwell on the flames (and yes, that's literal) (as in up in them) (as in right out on the front fucking yard.) In fact, he tries not to think of that day much at all.

And yes, tries is the operative word.

“It looks good,” she says, somehow without a hint of bitterness or anger and oh, this is so going to end badly, isn’t it? “So do you,” she lies, but he still feels a swell of pride and yeah, he sucks in his gut (a four pack now instead of his usual six) just a little bit. “I’m sorry,” Lauren says - and isn’t that supposed to be his line? - it all suddenly clicking with her just how ridiculously awkward and weird and insane it is for them to be standing here like this. “This is… I don’t know why… I should go.”

She probably should cause, well, this is weird to the weirdest, but she doesn’t move and Theo doesn’t either, but he does finally find his voice, so that’s a step.

“Want a drink?”

For a second (the second longest second of his life), he thinks she’s gonna say no, but then she nods, quickly, and follows him into the kitchen. He gets to fishing for beer in the fridge - it’s way in the back cause Lisa doesn’t drink - and Lauren just stands there, awkwardly, leaning against the island, her hands resting on top of it and then down at her sides and then back on top again and Theo thinks he should be relieved that she is, apparently, as nervous as he is.

Somehow, it’s less than reassuring.

Even less reassuring is the way she downs the beer he hands her in one fell swoop (all that’s missing is her sister and Reagan - mostly Reagan - chanting 'chug, chug chug’) and lets out a long breath when she’s done.

He thinks about offering her another one. But not very hard. He remembers drunk Lauren - the angry version, not the horny one (not that either would be good right now) - just a bit too well.

“He loves me,” she says and talk about your non sequiturs and your out of nowheres and your 'I seriously thought they’d have had this all settled by nows’. “Glenn,” she adds, as if Theo didn't know. “He loves me and I…” She shakes her head and taps her fingers against the side of the bottle, hunting for the words. “And I blame you,” she finally says and, well…

Talk about your 'what the fucks’.

And your 'not surprising at alls’.

Theo’s pretty sure she’s not saying that she blames him for Glenn loving her, cause, well, if that’s anyone's fault, it’s totally hers. And, you know, Glenn’s. And definitely not his. Not at

all.

How could it be? It’s not like he did anything to push them together. Or to make it so that a 'them’ is even a possibility. Or expect that anything would happen after the divorce.

I think we both know the last thing Lauren’s going to be is alone.

OK, so maybe it’s a little bit on him, but Glenn was already in love with her and it isn’t like Theo told him he should be or that he was OK with it or gave him permission or some shit like that.

Not really. Not in those words. And he certainly didn't hope they’d find their way to each other cause he didn’t want Lauren to be alone for the rest of her life just because he'd… changed.

His mind.

He’d changed his mind and yeah, it sucked and yeah, it hurt her and yeah, the whole catch me cheating cause it will hurt less plan was somewhat… ill-advised (to put it mildly) but he meant well and yes, he knows all about the road to hell and exactly what it’s paved with.

Stones. A whole fucking bunch of them and every single one reads 'he meant well’ but, in the end, it worked out, right? For all of them?

Right?

Stupid fucking question, Theo, cause if it all worked out for all of them, would Lauren be here, in your kitchen, drinking your beer, and staring at you like she’s not sure if she wishes you dead or naked?

(Oh, and cut the wishful thinking cause, really, it’s more like 'dead’ or 'slightly less than dead but, at least, in massive amounts of pain and, if there’s any naked involved, it’s just so she can get a better shot when she kicks you in the balls.’)

(Just so we're clear.)

“He’s waiting for me,” Lauren says, snapping Theo back to now - and out of the dead and just a bit less than dead and absolutely not naked - and then she pauses, her fingers slowing against the glass of the bottle. “No… he’s not waiting,” she says. “He’s been waiting for me. And he’s waited. And waited.”

Theo knows. Oh, how he knows. He wonders if Lauren even realizes just how long Glenn’s waited.

Did she see it, he wonders. When she was still… his (and don’t get started on any of that love isn’t ownership bullshit cause you know what the fuck he means) did she notice Glenn, lingering in the background (copyright K. Ashcroft.) Theo likes to think that their marriage and her love for him was enough to blind her. He likes to think that, back then, both Lauren’s heart and her mind were so otherwise occupied that Glenn was never anything more than Reagan’s bro, a guy she knew - tangentially, sorta, a family member with a dashed line on the tree - and that even when, eventually, he was more than that, when he became her friend and her confidant and they had to work together, spending hour upon hour upon weeks in such close quarters…

Oh, who is he kidding?

He likes to think Lauren didn’t realize Glenn was falling and then had fallen and then was so hopelessly in that it was impossible not to see it, and that she never thought - not once - that maybe she had some of those same feelings. He likes to think that, he fucking loves to.

But, he doesn’t. Cause if there’s one thing Theo’s not?

It’s stupid.

Or blind. Or deaf. Or so oblivious he could give high school Karma a run for her money.

So, you know four things. All of which his not being means he knows all too well that Lauren’s been aware, right from the start.

“I don’t know if I’d call it waiting,” he says, so very casually ignoring the whole blaming him bit, cause he’s sure they’ll get back to it (he’s not wrong.) “It’s not like Glenn always expected we would go belly up if he just waited long enough.”

Sometimes - most times - when he thinks back on it, Theo wishes it had been something like that. It might make him feel a little bit better about all of it, like maybe he was less to blame.

And sometimes? Like all the times?

He knows that’s utter bullshit. He's completely to blame.

“I know that,” Lauren says. There’s just a hint (like the tiniest one) of 'duh’, of 'no shit’, of 'of course he wasn’t cause he’s not an asshole’ running under her words. Or maybe that’s just Theo’s imagination. “Glenn’s not that kind of man.”

Yeah. Not his imagination.

You might think that years of practice in dealing with every conceivable variation of the Lauren Cooper 'just about to be pissed’ formula might have taught Theo something about changing the equation. And you’d be right. Totally. There was a time, in fact, when no one could defuse an L.C. Anger Bomb (patent pending) like Theo could. Not Amy (cause she was, more often than not, the cause) and not Reagan (cause she was, more often than not, too amused by it) and not even Bruce (cause he was, or pretended he was, totally oblivious in that way that only someone who’s so used to it that they’re immune - or Karma - could be.)

But that time was then and this is now and, even if he wanted to, Theo’s not sure he’s still got the skills. Plus, there’s that want to. Or, in his case, a lack of it. Call him masochistic or guilty or just plain fucking dumb, but Theo kinda thinks that maybe he’s got a detonation coming.

Again, he’s not wrong.

So, he does nothing and just lets her talk which, now that the seal’s been broken, is surprisingly easy.

“Right now,” Lauren says, “he’s the kind of man who, even though I’ve been an utter fucking bitch, is still waiting for me.” She stares down at the bottle in her hand and there’s a moment when Theo thinks maybe he should have given more consideration to defusing her.

You know, since she's armed.

“He’s sitting in a hotel, probably at the bar,” she says and no, she’s totally not imagining him bellied up to the bar, his usual Jack and Coke in one hand and his cell in the other, wait wait waiting on her call. “Just waiting for me.” Lauren thinks about what she said and laughs, a short 'I’m so stupid’ snort of a thing. “Not like that,” she adds though, Lord knows, if he was waiting like that, it wouldn’t be the first time. “I’m supposed to meet him, so we can go over

last minute details for the rehearsal dinner,” she says. Last minute details that were worked

out so not last minute, but Glenn humors her and he’ll double and thruple check everything

with her. “Tomorrow is my sister’s wedding.”

Theo hears the words - 'my sister’s wedding’ - and his brain hiccups just a bit. Nope, that doesn’t bring back any memories. Not at all.

Tyson: “This is my sister’s wedding, we’re talking about. If it’s not beyond perfect, I will kill someone. All the someones. Every one of you someones. This is Lauren’s day and she’s

only having the one and so it needs to be perfect.”

Holyfield: “What she said. Except replace sister with best friend and kill with… maim, I guess. But all the rest? What she said.”

For three weeks after the broke up, Theo flinched every time he heard a woman’s voice or steps behind him or saw a swish of blonde hair swirling in the distance; he was so convinced he’d end up just like Liam.

Party Liam. Punched in the face and unconscious on the ground and everyone laughing at his humiliation Liam. Not, you know, dead Liam.

“Amy and Reagan?” Theo asks, going all innocent, pretending like he hadn’t seen the full-page wedding announcement Farrah put in the paper. Or the one she posted on her website. Or on Facebook. Or on Twitter. Or the YouTube vlog she did for the station or the other YouTube vlog she did just for her. “About time,” he says when Lauren nods. He says it with a laugh which he immediately reconsiders. “I mean, it’s -”

“About time,” Lauren cuts in and they both laugh and it’s the closest either of them have come to actually breathing since she knocked on the door. It’s a nice moment, the kind they haven’t had in years and that includes the one before the divorce, the entire three-sixty-five when Lauren felt like he was slipping away from her and Theo knew she felt it.

And knew, even then, that he actually was.

But the harder she fought to hold on, the more he squirmed and fussed and worked his way loose. It was his choice and he made it and every time - every single time - he sees his son, Theo knows it was the right choice. But still…

Oh, it’s that 'still’ that gets him, every time, and it’s that 'still’ that makes him think that maybe, just maybe, this is his chance, his opportunity, his one shining moment that the universe has decided to hand him and so, as he does, he takes it.

“I’ve missed you.”

Theo squeezes his eyes shut (the way he should have done with his lips) even before the words are out and oh, if he was thinking that was the universe’s silver platter, the look on her face says it was more likely a fuse for that KABOOM he was so sure he deserved and now he’s gone and lit the damn thing and it’s burning.

Burning fast.

He’s hit a nerve and that’s what she does. But now, seeing as how there’s no un-lighting that fuse or un-hitting that nerve, Theo doesn’t see much sense in quitting while he’s ahead even

if, probably, he ought to reassess his definition of 'ahead’.

“Most of the time,” he says, not even bothering to acknowledge that they’re so not talking about Glenn anymore or the look on Lauren’s face or the fact that all of this might have been so better said five fucking years ago. “I do a pretty good job of not thinking about it.”

And yes, by 'it’, he 100% (or, you know, 1,000,000,000,000%) means ’her’. He does a pretty good job of not thinking about her. There are times, he’ll admit, when that’s just a little easier than others. Times just like earlier this afternoon, out in the backyard, watching his boy hit a

tiny ball off a tiny tee (or, you know try to, cause he’s only two and not a prodigy. Yet.) Times just like last night, when he and Lisa and Anthony snuggle on the couch, like an actual family, watching some animated movie about talking animals Theo doesn’t even understand, but he does understand the sound of his son’s laughter and, really, that’s all he needs to get.

Those are the times. But then… well… then there’s the other times.

Times like when Lauren’s candidate won the election and there she was, in the background of every fucking picture in the news. Times like when he passes that coffee shop, the one on the corner of Dolls and Holliday, the only place in all of Austin that made those miniature chocolate stuffed croissants she loved so much but refused to eat when anyone was looking.

Anyone except him.

Or, times like those nights when the wife’s not feeling kinky and so the lights stay off and it’s so damn easy for him to get lost in the dark, in the idea (the memory) that she’s considerably tinier and a whole lot blonder and not whispering sweet nothings in his ear about putting another baby in her belly.

“But then,’ Theo says (and no, he's not looking at her cause, well, he doesn’t want to die just yet), "I see something or I hear something or I just find myself with five seconds of peace and there’s no one else around and then…”

And then, she's all he can think about. And that day, whichever day it might be, is pretty much just fucking shot cause once he slips down into that hole, there’s no digging out. He lets those words hang there (the trail off strikes again) and yeah, he knows exactly what he’s doing.

He's waiting.

Maybe, he thinks (dreams) (fantasizes) (wishes but not really) Lauren’ll say something like 'me too.’ Or 'I know what you mean.’ Or 'and then you start up with the thinking about me and, you know what? Somewhere, out there, I'm thinking about you and why, exactly are we doing all this thinking and not doing any… doing?’

Maybe.

Or, you know… maybe not. Maybe not at all. Cause maybe, right now, even though Theo’s waiting? He’s realizing one simple truth he should have already known.

Maybe (not maybe) he waited just a little too long. Like five years too long. Or, really, six years, counting that one when he was trying to figure everything out and while he was figuring, he was also shutting - as in her, as in out - and no, he doesn’t need to see the look on her face to know that, he doesn’t need to see the… something… in her eyes to feel that last final nail just getting hammered home in that coffin that he stuffed their marriage (them) into.

Except… well… come to think of it - and, honestly, it’s about the last thing he ever thought he’d come to think of - maybe he does. Maybe, if he wants to be a family and not just ’like an actual family’, this is what he needs. His counselor - who was, at one point, their counselor, a tiny fact Theo knew Lauren had never shared with Amy or with Reagan or with anyone except, he’s sure, Glenn - would call it closure.

Theo doesn’t really need a word for it. No fancy name or psychobabble term. That’s just a bit too concrete, too much of a thing, too definite. It’s more of a feeling, really, more like a release, like someone tripped a pressure valve in his chest, five years worth of breaths he never took all just slipping away.

It should leave him feeling empty. He thinks it should. He's sure of it.

Except… again… he's wrong cause, in his entire life, Theo can’t ever remember feeling this full.

He gets it now. He gets what he’s needed all this time. And what she needs that brought her to his doorstep after all these years. He walks to the end of the island, mildly surprised that Lauren isn’t squirrelling away from him, and takes her hand. “Come with me?”

It’s a question, not a demand and maybe that’s why Lauren does, letting him lead her out of the kitchen and up the stairs and he feels her tense as they pass his door - it’s not the same door or the same room or the same house, but some shit just never leaves - but then she stills again as they move right on by, down the hall, to the last door on the right.

Theo cracks the door, just a little. Just enough. He steps back and lets Lauren see, watching as her eyes adjust to the darkened room and her hand finds its way to her mouth to stifle the lightest of gasps that slips from her lips.

“His name’s Anthony,” Theo says. “We named him after my dad. He’s two.”

She’s doing the math in her head - Theo can almost see the numbers rolling around - and it doesn’t take her long to connect the dots that, no, he’s not from… you know… then.

“I met his mother about a year after we…” Theo shakes his head, not quite able to say the ’d’ word, not even now, no matter how full he might be. “She’s a cardiac care nurse and both her parents are dead and…” He shakes his head again, wondering what part of him thought telling her about her was even sort of a good idea. “I work from home most days,” he says, “so I can spend as much time with him as I can.”

Lauren leans against the door, blinking her eyes against the dark (yup) (the dark) (that's totes why she’s blinking.) “He looks just like you,” she says and oh, that’s what does it, finally, that’s what slaps her right across the face and shakes her in her shoes, practically fucking screaming at her.

This… he… is why.

The one thing she couldn’t give him. The one thing that Theo swore up and down he didn’t need, the very thing he promised her didn't matter.

Until he changed his mind.

Any wonder she blames him?

“You tell them all it’s about the cheating, don’t you?” he asks and God, she’s never heard his voice so soft, so quiet, a level of a whisper that only a father could manage. “That’s why you haven’t been with anyone else, why you’ve never remarried. Why you make Glenn wait.”

She flinches slightly, her hand on the door - not so much that anyone else might even notice, but he’s not anyone - and he knows she wants to argue, to point out that she doesn't make him wait and if he chooses to wait, well, that’s not on her. She’s not responsible.

And maybe if she just believed that.

“It’s the simple explanation,” Theo says, “I know. That’s why I did it. Because it was easier and cleaner and yes, dumber.” He beats her to it, calls himself out for his own stupidity, regardless of how well-intentioned it was. “And you can use it, remind them all how you found me, in your bed, with another woman and it all makes sense and it gives you the best reason ever not to…”

Not to love.

He can't say it and, really, neither can she but the problem isn’t so much that she can't say it. It’s that she can't feel it. And not 'can’t’ like she’s unable, or 'can’t’ like he killed it in her, so she can never love another man.

Can’t like won’t, like not again, like… like she knows, the logic of it is so right there, so obvious, and her brain is well fucking aware that she loves Glenn - loves him like she’s never loved any other - but there’s always that fucking can’t.

It’s like a wall.

No… not a wall. A wall you can climb, a wall you can go around, a wall can have a door and a wall can have a way through. It’s not a wall, it’s a hole and Lauren’s been falling down it for five fucking years and Goddammit, it’s just bottomless.

But fuck all, she wants to climb.

“I want him,” Lauren whispers. “I don’t want to make him wait and I want…” Her gaze rolls over Anthony, this tiny little man, a perfect little bit of what she just can’t ever have. “I want it all,” she says, “and I want it with Glenn and he says he’s fine with it and he swears it doesn’t matter, and I want to believe him.”

Almost as much as she wants to love him. But the two kind of go together and it’s like the one’s a cork, stuck in the end of the bottle and no matter how hard she pulls, no matter how much she fights, she can’t ever get it loose.

“He promises,” she says. “When he thinks I’m not listening, when I can’t hear, when I’m in his arms in the middle of the night, he promises me that we can have it all.” She turns, and she’s not even pretending not to cry anymore. “But so did you.”

Yeah. He did.

And if there’s anything Theo regrets even close to as much as how it ended? It's that.

It’s how it began.

“I was sixteen,” he says, and even to his ears that sounds like some weak fucking sauce of an excuse. “Sixteen and in love. And then I was eighteen and in love and then twenty and in love and… and you had it all figured out,” he says, leaning against the wall. “Adoption had been the reality for you since you were twelve. You knew from fifteen that a surrogate was out, that you couldn’t handle a baby that was half your husbands and none of yours.”

Fourteen. She knew at fourteen.

But that’s kinda not the point.

“I thought it didn’t matter,” Theo says and it wasn’t just that he thought it. It didn’t matter, not to sixteen or eighteen or twenty year old him. And even the… next… him, the one who made all those well-intentioned stupid choices, even he didn't want it to matter.

But want isn’t the same as does. And in the end, it did matter, it does. All the proof either of them might need is sleeping right behind that door.

“I didn’t want it to matter and I honestly believed that it didn’t” he says. They’re words he’s only ever said in his own head, only to himself. And, you know, to Glenn, on that one day, so many years ago. “Right up until the moment when I realized that it did. And by then…”

It was too late. There was a finger and a ring on it and a house and a home and… fuck all… he loved her. So much. So very very much.

So very very very close to enough.

“I didn’t know how to tell you,” Theo says and his hand is on her cheek and he’s got no idea how that happened. “I didn’t know how to break your heart without breaking you, without making you feel like you would always be something less. Because you were never… are never… that.”

“So, cheating on me with some whore you barely knew was your way of not making me feel less?”

And there’s that fuse. Again.

“It was stupid,” he says (yeah, it was.) “It was a plan, not a good plan, more like a dumb plan, such a ridiculous plan.” He tries smiling, making light, tweaking the moment just a bit, enough that it’s not a moment. “It was like Karma and Amy faking it level dumb,” he says, “I get that.”

But it made sense at the time. Cheating, she could accept. Hell… cheating she would expect, it would just be her father and every woman between her mother and Farrah all over again. If he’d done that - if he was that - then it was on him, it was about him.

And not about her.

“It was a no win,” he says. “No matter what I did, you’d hurt. And I hope you know that I never wanted that, that it killed me to give you even one moment of pain.”

Lauren says nothing cause, really, what is there for her to say? Yeah, she knows that - she knew that, even then - and that was what made it all so fucking hard to deal with, to accept.

Even after she found out the truth.

“You knew he’d tell me,” she says softly, even though she wants to scream at him, wants to ball up her tiny fists and pound on his chest until his heart shatters the way hers did. “When Glenn confronted you, when he figured it all out, you knew he wouldn’t keep it a secret and you still told him.”

Of course Glenn wouldn’t. He couldn’t. Just imagine if she had finally given in, if she’d stopped making him wait and just been with him, instead of just 'being’ with him, and then she found out that he knew the truth and never told her.

She’d have killed him.

If, you know, the guilt hadn’t done it first.

“Is that why you did it?” she asks him and Theo doesn’t understand the question. “Is that why you told him, so I’d find out, so I’d know what a bunch of noble sacrificing, I love you so much

that I’ll rip your heart out this way instead of that way bullshit you’d been up to?”

Is it?

Theo would like to say no. But he doesn’t want to lie. And saying that wasn’t a part of it would be nothing but a lie.

“Or did you have buyer’s remorse?” Lauren asks. She moves a step back, gently shutting the door to Anthony’s room and oh, that’s probably not a good sign. “You have an epiphany about how good you had it and how bad you fucked it all up?” (Again, truth in part.) “Did you go and figure that, maybe, if I knew the truth, I’d come back? If, maybe, I knew that you weren’t really

a cheating asshole, I’d crawl on back? Maybe I’d even beg you to forgive me, maybe I’d plead with you to take back your something… less than a woman?”

Did modern medicine finally turn you into a real girl? Or are you still the same fucked up science project you’ve always been?

What was that about some shit that never leaves?

“Or, maybe,” Lauren says, “it was your fucking ego. Maybe, you just couldn’t live with the idea of me thinking that way about you. Lumping you in with my dad and Liam, one more dick who thought with his dick.” She presses one hand against the door, steadying herself and doing her best (not nearly good enough) not to think about what (who) is right on the other side cause that is just one bridge too fucking far.

There are, in truth, about a million things Theo could say. He’s had years, after all. Years to think of excuses, of rationales for everything he did, everything he said. But even back then, even when he’d fessed up to Glenn and thought for sure she’d be busting down his door at any moment, he’s never really settled on any one of them, he’s never known - not for sure - what he would say to her, in this moment.

Oh, he’s always known it would come, always expected that he’d bump into her on the street, stumble across her in the grocery store or sitting in some coffee shop, always when he’d least expect it (and, at least, he got that part right) but he knew he’d never be prepared. He would never know what to say. And now, standing right here, staring at her, he knows what he only suspected for all those years.

It doesn’t matter.

“I did it,” he says, and they’re wrong about confession and the soul. “I lied. I cheated. I broke your heart and I was a lousy fucking excuse for a husband for far longer than you should have put up with.” If he’s thinking he’s gonna win points for honesty, he’s mistaken. “And I changed my mind. The one promise I always should’ve kept, is the one I broke the worst.”

It wasn’t the words. It wasn’t telling her that no, he didn’t care about kids, it wasn’t some vow he made in front of God and her sister and all the rest of them. It was never that.

It was ten years ago, a night spent outside her room. She wouldn’t let him in, but he wouldn't leave. And that? That was the moment, that was the promise.

He fucking waited.

It hits her then, like that wall it isn’t, like a fucking tidal wave of everything, crashing down onto her and Lauren gets it. He made the same promise, the same one Glenn has made night after night after 'night together’ and 'day apart’ for the last four fucking years. And she believed him, but she can’t (won’t) believe him, cause, what’s that saying?

Once bitten, twice no fucking chance I’m letting it happen again.

(Or, you know, something like that.)

“He’s not me,” Theo says and oh, how she hates that he can still see right through her. It’s not fucking fair, not even a little. “Glenn,” he says. “isn’t me. He’s not a sixteen year old dumbass who didn’t care what intersex meant because whatever else it meant, it meant you.” It sounds bad, makes him sound so stupid but, back then, it was just that simple. “And he’s certainly not an eighteen year old idiot who can’t stop thinking that the 'long’ part of 'long distance’ is what’s gonna be the death of him and, maybe, the best way around that is a ring and a promise that’s even longer. So much longer than he can even see, let alone think.”

There’s a part of Lauren - a smallish one - that wants to yell at him (more) and swear at him (a lot) and punch him (hard) and tell him that she knows (so fucking well) that Glenn’s not him.

Except, apparently, that wouldn’t be entirely the truth, now would it?

“You know why Glenn and I got to be such good friends?” Theo asks and Lauren shakes her head. She’d always assumed it had something to do with being the only two straight guys in their little crew. “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer,” he says. “From day one, the first moment I met him, the second I saw how he looked at you… I knew. I knew that man loved you the way I wanted to,”

So… not the whole straight guy thing. Gotcha.

“Some people, Lauren, they just come into your life, you know?” Theo drops his head, trying his best (and his isn’t nearly good enough either) to hide the tears he can’t blink away. “They show up and you never see them coming but then… there they are. And once they are, well, you can’t understand how you ever lived without them.”

Yeah. Lauren knows about them. She’s got a few. Amy. Reagan. Farrah.

And Lucy and Shane and (God help her) Karma and even, kinda, Jack and, once upon a time, Martin and Liam (ugh) and…

Them.

Her men. Her boys. The loves of her life. And, yeah, that’s fucking plural.

“But sometimes,” Theo says, “they’re not there for… always, you know? It’s a moment, a thing you need right then. And maybe that then, maybe it lasts a while. Maybe it’s a few months or maybe it’s two years.”

Maybe that then gives you something you need, something that carries you through, maybe it’s even a happiness you’ve never known. But then… maybe it ends. And maybe that end…

No. Not maybe. It does. It hurts.

And maybe that lasts a while too.

Theo reaches out, taking her hand and looking at her, right at her, and it’s like it’s some kind of magic. The gray’s all gone, the four pack’s a sixer again, the ring on his finger is her’s and not her’s and he’s there again, right outside her door instead of his. Like he never left.

But he did.

“And when it ends,” he says - and it's him again, the other him, the one that belongs to that life behind the door - “when it really ends? Maybe it’s because it’s time. Because you don’t need that anymore. Maybe because you’ve found something that’s … not better… something that’s right, something that’s a fit, something that’s just for you. And maybe it takes a while, maybe it takes forever to get there.”

He leans over, pressing one chaste kiss to her cheek.

“But, maybe,” he whispers against her skin. “You’ve waited long enough.”

Rio & Buster

Rio: I miss you so much Buster: I miss you too Buster: More than I knew I would Rio: Won't take that too personally, babe 😜 Rio: but seriously, before it was like, this was normal and you being here was the novelty but then I got used to being together everyday Buster: We spoiled ourselves, babe. I wasn't mad about it at the time but like Rio: I know Rio: 😔 Buster: I've been in such a mood since you left, it's a good thing my dad is barely here Rio: Baby Rio: has he spoke to you about any of it yet Buster: Yeah but you can guess how it went without me having to tell you, I'm sure Buster: In essence he's glad to have his house back Buster: Used to only having girls of mine around for the night, like Rio: Yeah, I mean Rio: can't blame him Rio: even if I'd rather be there still but Buster: I reckon Indie was a bit much for him, me and Nance weren't ever like that Buster: No offense to the kid meant Rio: Such 👼s Buster: You know Buster: Golden boy for a reason, babe Buster: Do all my sinning out of doors Rio: Ain't nobody been indoors to tell her init Buster: I told him the score Buster: There won't be any drama if she comes back again Rio: It's alright Rio: She needs to get back to normal here now Rio: Same, I guess Buster: How is it over there? Tell me Rio: Honestly I've just been trying to hide in my room Rio: 'cos once one of them knows they all will Rio: such a bombardment Buster: Yeah Buster: Gotta do it while you can 'cause once the birthdays and shit start there'll be no chance Buster: Is Indie staying with you or what? Rio: Ugh Rio: don't remind me Rio: and the baby, she's late so vague hysteria setting in Rio: Yeah, thank fuck Buster: I don't envy you at all Buster: Anything I can do to distract you, you know I will Rio: You better Rio: putting that in the vows 😉 Buster: Yeah? What else you gonna say? Rio: Spoilers Rio: You know you cutest when you blush Buster: You're cutest when you just wake up and I'm mad I don't get to see that now Rio: I'll send you all the #iwokeuplikedis selfies you want Buster: Don't tease me, babe Buster: Don't say it if you're playing Rio: 'Course I'm not Rio: even if I'm gonna work my angles and lighting to my advantage still Rio: my prerogative, can't have you getting 😬 Buster: Shut up Rio: Wish you could make me Buster: Christ, me too Buster: I already wanna come see you Rio: When is your next break? Buster: Not soon enough Rio: I can always come back Rio: for a weekend or something Rio: I'll get a hotel, like, don't worry Unc Buster: We'll figure it out Buster: I do have a reading week coming up soon so as long as I study too Rio: Yeah, I don't wanna distract you further Rio: I mean I do but also Buster: Gotta meet the fam's newest addition, there's my excuse Rio: Take pics for me Rio: you know I ain't being allowed in with flowers Buster: That's what my sister's for Buster: I'll bring you flowers instead Rio: Stop being cute Buster: I know that ain't what you want Rio: But it makes me miss you more Buster: I need you to miss me Buster: 'Cause I gotta miss you Rio: Trust me, I do Buster: How did we do this for so long before? Buster: Seriously Rio: I don't know Rio: Shouldn't have put a 💍 on it Buster: Shhh Rio: Maybe I wait to drop the bomb when this baby finally gets here Rio: distraction is our best friend Buster: Good luck, babe Buster: Unless she's born tomorrow I reckon its unlikely Buster: Unless you're gonna take the ring off Rio: Get Drew back 'round to fuck it outta her Buster: Not a mental image I need, cheers babe Rio: Alright, curry it is then Buster: I reckon my aunt fucking Drew again is more likely Buster: But you know Rio: Damn Rio: Too real Buster: Fuck thinking about either of them Buster: How's the job hunt going? Rio: Not gone out yet Rio: I know, I know Rio: I'm moping Buster: Baby Rio: I will Rio: but Buster: What can I do to motivate you? Tell me Rio: 😏 Buster: Come on Buster: Use your words Rio: Ugh Rio: I love it when you talk to me like that Buster: I mean it Buster: No more moping Rio: I promise Rio: I'm gonna make you proud of me Buster: I know you will Buster: I already am but shhh 'cause I'm doing tough love right now Rio: 🤤 Buster: I dread to think how much privacy you don't have Buster: It's not even hot it's just annoying Rio: Idk, being a moody cow since I got back has kept everyone keeping distance Rio: not saying you were right or anything Buster: You can say it Rio: It definitely has its perks Buster: Yeah Rio: but cuddling with you right now in this bed would definitely be appreciated Buster: You in mine would be even better 'cause I know we'd be alone for hours yet Rio: The things we could achieve in that time Rio: No slacking there, that would motivate me Buster: It'd distract me shamelessly but I wouldn't be mad about it Rio: I could crack the whip too Rio: it's not like you've actually fallen behind, right? Buster: Nah 'cause not 😇 Buster: course* Rio: Bit hypocritical coming from us but like, calm down then? Getting mad n stressed about things that haven't even happened Buster: 😂 Rio: We've got shit handled, right baby? Buster: Always Rio: Good Rio: Getting my 'fuck everyone else' mentality set for when the inevitable Buster: If you need any tips, like Buster: Borrow my 👑 Rio: 😏 I know, my baby invented that shit Buster: Probably my parents but we don't need to tell anyone that Buster: Least of all them Rio: I mean, obviously gonna need the reminder that they should be our biggest fans but Rio: I don't wanna be the messenger on that one 💀 Buster: I'll do it Buster: Not giving a fuck, remember Rio: I'll remember you always, babe Buster: Don't Buster: You're so cute Rio: I love you, you know Rio: no matter what any of 'em want to say, can't be changed Buster: I love you so fucking much Buster: And I'm gonna marry you one day even if nobody else turns up to the ceremony and its just us Rio: Good Rio: Me too, I actually don't care Rio: I do but if anyone's trying to make it a choice then I'm choosing you over keeping them happy because you matter more Buster: Exactly Rio: I wonder if Edie will turn up when the baby's here Buster: I doubt she'll bring gifts and claim she was guided by a star, like Rio: Alright Rio: true but don't kill my hope out the gate like that Rio: I'm hoping morbid curiosity gets the better of her if nothing else Buster: Sorry, babe Rio: One person I would've liked to see when I walked in the door Rio: soz everyone else Buster: They can't fault you for that even if they might want to for some other shit Rio: Even if she's probably gonna swing on sight, like Buster: I reckon that's a given Buster: But I also know you can handle it Rio: Not like I have a choice, if she hates me she does but it's preferrable to this Buster: You can't still believe she actually hates you Rio: Of course she does Rio: I tried to bone her Da, in her eyes Rio: she had a fucked enough head re. all things him and I made it worse Buster: She loves you, that's why it hurts her Buster: If she hated you she'd be here fronting it out Rio: If only it were that simple, babe Buster: Come on Buster: I ain't saying that's all it is but it's part of it Buster: And its what's gonna let you fix it Rio: Whatever it is Rio: I just wish she'd come back for the others Buster: She ain't gonna stay away for ever Rio: Good luck Buster: Watch her roll in when we all least expect it Rio: I get why she pisses Indie off so much Rio: like, I also get why she does what she does but fucking hell Buster: Yeah Rio: Distract me Rio: I don't wanna think about this anymore either Buster: Think about me Buster: [sends gym selfies] Rio: Thanks baby Rio: the amount that actually helps is telling 😂 Buster: Course it does Buster: I did a heavy work out like Rio: I can tell Rio: Jesus, you're hot Buster: I had to distract myself too Buster: I had so many dreams about you I didn't even wanna move Rio: Gotta take those frustrations out somewhere, right? Rio: Where I'm going wrong, I'm still laying here so frustrated Buster: Well you could work out Buster: Or Buster: Work it out another way Rio: Will you show me how Rio: I need your help Buster: Poor baby Buster: 'Course I will Rio: Seriously Rio: I'm in such a state without you daddy Buster: I bet you are Rio: [Video] See? Rio: I can't do this without you Buster: You really have gotten yourself into a mess haven't you, angel Buster: What are we gonna do with you? Rio: I don't know, what are you gonna do to me, daddy? Buster: I'm about the hands on approach so we're gonna have to get yours out of the way first of all Buster: Need you to focus on me and what I'm trying to teach you Rio: [Pic to show she's done it] Rio: I'm so ready to listen and learn Buster: Good Buster: No half measures, yeah? Rio: No half measures Buster: You're so well behaved Rio: Does that make you happy, daddy? Am I doing a good job? Buster: See me after class for that extra credit Buster: Earning that A* easily Rio: You're such a good teacher Buster: What you gonna have waiting on my desk for me to say thanks? Rio: If I say me will you get mad, sir? Rio: I just wanna show you how much I appreciate all that you've taught me in person Buster: Do you think I should be mad at you? Buster: It sounds like you are just trying to be good Rio: Really good Buster: Okay then start slow, you've gotta be patient, babe I know it's hard Rio: Take me time, I remember Rio: but it feels so good, I want more Buster: I know you do but trust me Rio: I do Rio: you know what's best for me, you always make me feel better Buster: And if I was there I'd be worshiping every inch of you, wouldn't I? That's what you need to do Rio: If you could convince me to get up from off my knees Rio: You want me to make all the noises I would if you were here, baby? Buster: We both know I have in it in me to be that persuasive Buster: Slow but intense, yeah? Buster: Give it everything you've got, vocals included Rio: Okay Rio: Fuck Buster: One finger is all you're allowed first, don't be rushing through this Rio: but daddy Buster: You can add more when you I say you can Buster: You're here to learn, right? Rio: Yes, sir Rio: Sorry, sir Rio: Please can I spank myself, just once, because I deserve it Buster: Okay, you are being good enough Rio: I won't leave any marks Rio: because it's yours and only you're allowed to do that Buster: Well remembered Rio: How could I forget Rio: I can still feel that lesson Buster: I wish we could go over it again anyway Buster: Soon though Rio: You promise? Buster: I swear, baby Buster: You know I need you Rio: Does it hurt for you too, daddy? Buster: So badly Rio: Me too Rio: it's the kinda hurt only you can make better Buster: I'm right here, baby Buster: I know what you need Buster: You can do it, no more teasing, I promise Rio: Yeah? Rio: Please can you make yourself cum with me so I can imagine you're doing it inside me Rio: that's what I need Buster: Together, yeah? Buster: I want that too Rio: You've got me so close Buster: [sends pics] Buster: Look how you've got me Rio: 😻 Rio: Why aren't you inside of me right now Buster: Close your eyes and I am Rio: Are you using the toy I got you? Buster: You know it, babe Rio: Good Rio: Fuck I'm making so much noise Buster: Me too Buster: I can't stop Rio: Don't stop Rio: Lose control for me Buster: Jesus Rio: Tell me how good it feels Buster: It's so fucking Buster: My god Rio: So soft and tight 'round your thick cock yeah? Rio: Almost like the real thing Buster: Nothing makes me feel as good as you but Rio: 'Course not Rio: it's like we were made for each other you feel so right Buster: We were baby Buster: That's why I don't want anyone else however long I have to wait for you Rio: Keep talking like that Rio: I'm gonna cum for you Buster: I love you and I'll always love you Rio: Oh my God Rio: Buster Buster: Just me and you forever, Rio Buster: That's all we need Rio: For fucking ever Rio: I'm going to marry you Buster: Fuck Rio: I love you so fucking much Buster: I can't stop thinking about that ring on your finger while you're fucking yourself for me Rio: Baby Rio: You like seeing that I'm yours? Buster: I love it Buster: I love you Rio: You're so good you're so good Buster: It's you babe, all of it Rio: You're mine, aren't you? Buster: I'm yours, Rio Rio: Shit Rio: It feels so strong, I'm scared to let this out Rio: I won't have any control Buster: Lose control for me too, baby Rio: For you Buster: Just for me Rio: No one else exists for me Rio: it's always been you, Buster Buster: Tell me again Rio: You're the only one I've ever wanted Buster: Oh fuck Rio: I'd always think about you, anyone else I'd been with Rio: even if I tried to stop myself, I couldn't help it, my brain always went there, back to you Buster: I know Buster: I felt it too you know that, yeah? Rio: Yeah Rio: you wanted me so bad Buster: The only girl I did want Rio: It drove me insane thinking I would never get to have you Rio: more than that kiss Buster: I'd get to have you every night but not like this Buster: Not real enough Rio: That's so fucking hot Rio: I wanna make every fantasy you had about me whilst you were fucking yourself real Buster: Only if I can for you too Buster: I'll never forget what it was like to first touch you or taste you Buster: I thought I'd die Buster: I'd have been happy to Buster: 'Cause that's what heaven is. You are Rio: You're literally perfection, a dream come to life Rio: I feel so lucky I get to spend my life with you Buster: Baby Rio: Yes? Buster: I just Buster: I don't have any words left Rio: Then stop talking and cum for me Rio: I know you need to, moan for me Buster: I have to Buster: It's so loud but I don't care Rio: Let them know who you belong to baby, who got you like this Buster: I'll get over being able to say your name like this Buster: As much as I need to Buster: never* (thats hilarious me just changing the meaning with my typos like) Rio: You don't need to, it's my favourite sound Rio: I intend to make you make it every day Buster: Promise? Rio: Promise Rio: You're so beautiful, Buster, you know that Buster: You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen Buster: Not just girl, anything Rio: I know you mean that Rio: and I love you Buster: I really fucking love you Rio: I can't wait to be your wife Buster: Soon, baby Rio: Yeah? Tell me about it Buster: I'm gonna make you happier than you ever reckoned you could feel Buster: Give you everything Rio: Yes baby Buster: And I'll wear a ring too and everyone will know that I belong as much to you as you do to me Buster: We won't have to be apart again ever Rio: You're making me cum, oh fuck please I feel like I'm gonna pass out this is so fucking good, don't stop Buster: I'm gonna make you cum every day, as many times as I can Buster: I won't ever stop Rio: I'm begging you fuck every hole I have they all belong to you every inch of me is yours forever Buster: Jesus fucking Christ Buster: Please Rio: Oh God Daddy I'm sucking on my fingers because I taste so sweet Rio: I wish they were yours and I wish you could taste me too Buster: If I don't stop moaning soon my voice is gonna go I want you to know that Buster: and God, I just want you Rio: I'm sorry daddy I'm just such a dirty little whore for you Buster: Cum for me now Buster: Cum with me Rio: I've never been this loud Buster: You're so fucking hot Rio: It really is all for you Buster: Tell me Rio: Everything I do is to turn you on Rio: to make you want me Rio: so you'll fuck me so good like you do and make me cum over and over and over Buster: Babe you're so Buster: I can't Rio: Good can't? Buster: The best Rio: That's alright then Buster: Never stop Rio: I promise babe Buster: You're so perfect Buster: Fuck me Rio: Soon Buster: I can't wait to be with you all the time Buster: I'm gonna buy us a house and fuck you in every square inch Rio: That's all I want Buster: All our neighbours are gonna know us Buster: If you think you're being loud right now, you aren't Buster: Not compared to how its gonna be Rio: Fuck, baby Rio: I might die Rio: every time I think you can't make me cum any more than you have you prove me wrong Buster: I know that's how you wanna go Buster: We can go together Buster: Starting right here Rio: As far as death pacts go, pretty fucking sexy Rio: suck it, Romeo and Juliet Buster: The only way my competitive streak will have it Rio: Works for me Rio: not up for living without you really, if we're taking it to this morbid place Buster: You don't have to Buster: I'm not going anywhere Buster: Not without you Rio: Keep this on the downlow though, babe, the engagement is enough for 'em to handle Buster: If what's mine is yours then that includes my life Buster: Technically Rio: Interesting, like to see you argue it in court for some black widow Rio: not just 'cos you'd be hot and I gotta keep my eye on her Buster: I know you would Rio: Just very interested in the judicial system, thanks Buster: Okay, babe Rio: 😒 Buster: When I get to uni I'll take you to library Buster: You'll love it Buster: Once I get started reading from those law books then you'll properly understand what horny feels like, right? Rio: Mmm Rio: Shut up 😣 Buster: You're so cute Rio: I can't help it Rio: I like seeing you get passionate about things Rio: and you're very persuasive, as you mentioned Buster: I really am gonna fuck you all over that campus Rio: 🤤 Rio: Better than joining a wanky society Buster: Better than anything they could offer me, honestly Buster: You know how you make me feel Rio: Leave that off the personal statement though Rio: Probably be into it, love some self-confidence for a chance Buster: It's gotten me this far, like Rio: Can't say better than that, I reckon Buster: Exactly Rio: Who else can say they're fucking me? Buster: Cunts can try and say it but I'd call bullshit Buster: You're mine Rio: Yep Rio: Totally yours Buster: I know a lot of things are shit right now and I probably shouldn't say this but I'm really happy Rio: I feel it too Rio: usually feeling happy just feels stupid like bitch wait and see but even though I know some things are bad now and there's potentially more to come Rio: it still feels right Buster: Yeah Buster: Like whatever happens I don't have to handle it on my own so it won't be that bad anyway Rio: You don't have to, ever again Rio: that's a serious vow Buster: I'll make the same one to you Buster: Right fucking now Buster: Whatever you need babe, whenever Rio: I know Rio: it feels good, doesn't it Buster: Literally the best Buster: I've always told myself I can do anything, like you've met my parents, kind of a given, but I properly believe it when I'm with you Rio: Good Rio: 'cos you can Buster: You too, angel Rio: I feel it Rio: I'm not saying I've got everything worked out magically but Rio: I actually do believe you Buster: Good, 'cause I said I'd motivate you Buster: I'm not trying to fail at it Rio: I reckon you're good 😏 Rio: add another win to the tally, like Buster: Will do Buster: But if we're keeping score don't forget to add your own points Rio: Oh yeah? How'd I do in the end? Buster: I've never cum so hard or so much without you actually being here before Rio: I'll take it Rio: 'til we're back together, like Buster: It makes missing you a little bit easier Buster: For today at least Rio: Yeah Rio: you know I'm always here Rio: we'll get through it Buster: Yeah Buster: I know you are and we will Rio: You'll be done before you know it Rio: we should go away, in the summer Buster: Great idea Buster: Especially now we can acknowledge we're in the same place together, like Rio: 😂 Rio: I worry how none of them could piece that shit together Buster: They didn't wanna Buster: Simple as Rio: Can't relate Rio: too nosy for that Buster: You're the only one who can get away with telling me what to do though Buster: If any of the rest of the fam tried it they know what'd happen so Buster: Even when it ain't something as important as this Rio: Yeah Rio: I promise to only use my power for good Rio: mostly Buster: I was gonna say Buster: Please be bad sometimes, like Rio: Good for us Rio: same thing Buster: Yeah Buster: Do I need to use my powers of sending a fancy fruit basket to your fam for what they just heard from your room? Rio: 😳 Rio: Send me one too for sustenance because I can never leave this room again now Buster: Poor baby Buster: I'll send you everything you could possibly need Buster: and add some earplugs for the rest of them Rio: So thoughtful Buster: Who's actually home? Like how much damage control are we talking about? Rio: Can't say I checked before starting Rio: idek, hopefully they were all very busy somewhere else Buster: I'll cross my fingers for you, babe Rio: Whatever Rio: it was too good to feel too bad about Buster: No argument there Buster: Someone could have literally walked in and I wouldn't have been able to stop Rio: Shh don't say that Rio: Gonna turn me on all over again Buster: Sorry but its true Rio: Not that sorry Rio: Add it to the fantasies list Buster: Noted Buster: I should shower, the state of me Rio: I should join you Rio: Video chat? Buster: You're full of good ideas, aren't you? Rio: It's been said