What You Did Last Summer- Regulus Black Oneshot

TW: implied child abuse, forced scarification/ dark mark

     He had been avoiding me since the middle of summer. It started slowly, like when I began to notice he stopped addressing my letters to "ma cherie" but rather my name. Then the letters became less, only once a week, then once every other week despite the many letters I would send him. When I attempted to come visit him at the Black manor as we had planned just weeks before, I was told he had fallen ill was too sick to see me even though I saw his shadow brush past like a phantom ghost just down the hallway. Eventually my letters were returned to me, completely unopened with a short letter attached stating I was to stop sending letters and if I didn't, they would be used as fire kindling.      School had began again just a week ago and he was never alone, always surrounded by new founded friends who held their noses high in the air and would yell slurs down the corridor as easily as it was saying their names. I knew he enjoyed being alone, I knew those were fake smiles, I knew he hated when one of his new friends would rip the book from his hands and toss it between a few of them as if it was a game rather than a rude disruption of a calm activity he enjoyed. I knew he hated also saying the slurs his friends said so easily, I knew it caused bile to rise in his throat every time he forced the syllables past his teeth.      He avoided me, within one week he had completely rearranged his class schedule so we barely had any classes together, ruining the amount of time we had spent just months before discussing our timetables so we could share as many classes together as possible. And the classes we did have together, he avoided my gaze, his nose stuck to his books or Potions ingredients, sitting as far from me as possible.      He continued to leave his long sleeves rolled down to his wrists despite the unusually warm September weather, constantly pushing them down to keep his forearms covered, unlike his new idiot friends who boasted about their new Dark Marks, and about how they now followed the Dark Lord who would eventually become the new leader of the wizarding world and rid the world of anyone but pure bloods.      The dirty secrets he kept from me about the past summer made me sick, made my stomach churn and my mind race. I know he didn't agree with the ideology of Voldemort or the beliefs his parents had tried to force down his throat his entire life. I knew he was more like his older brother Sirius who had rebelled against their parents but because of how often he heard their disgust and dismay in regard of his brother, that he did not want to disappoint them or make them lose their only remaining heir.      It's tearing me apart, the fake smiles, the forced laughter, the comments about half bloods or muggleborns. I knew this wasn't the real him.      I had somehow managed to corner him after he was leaving the Great Hall with his friends, fellow Slytherins he had previously stated he hated and found idiotic. "Regulus!" I called, quickly running after him. He glanced over his shoulder to look at me and I could see the defeat in his eyes and the slight slump of his shoulders as I got closer to him.      "Addy..." He said quietly, dropping his gaze to the floor, ignoring the calls of his friends who were making their way to their next class.      "Where have you been?' I asked, the anger and confusion that had followed me for the past few weeks that I had somehow pushed down, bubbling to the surface.      "You know where I've been." He said quietly, not meeting my eye.      “I'm sure Orion and Walburga are proud." I sneered nodding to his covered arm.      "Addy please, not here." He glanced to me and then back to his friends. He rubbed the back of his neck with the arm that held his secrets and before he could stop me I grabbed his arm, pushing up the white sleeve of his button up shirt, revealing the twisted black snake ink of the Dark Mark he had tried to cover and keep a secret.      "I know what you did last summer." I say, dropping his arm and looking at him in disgust.      “I didn't do anything." He clutched his arm to his chest, pushing the sleeve back down.      "Just lied to me." I shake my head and go to walk away but he grabs my hand and pulls me down a empty hallway, away from his friends and the concerned stares coming from passing students.      "Addy-" He starts but I cut him off.      "Tell me the truth Reg. Tell me where you've been and don't even think about lying." I say, staring deep into his stormy grey eyes. "I know what you did last summer. Look me in the eyes."      He looks at me and sighs. "They held me down and made me get it. I didn't want it and I tried to fight it but I couldn't."      I stood in front of him for a moment unsure about what to say,      "I wanted to see you over the summer, I promise. I just- I just didn't want to make you upset after you saw it."      "I missed you," I whisper, dropping my eyes from his gaze and shift uncomfortably, feeling like an asshole for accusing him to getting the Dark Mark when he was actually forced to get it.      "I missed you too." He said, giving me a small smile.      "I'm sorry." I say quietly, still avoiding his eyes.      "It's okay, I would've been upset too if I was you." He admitted.      "So what are you gunna do now?" I ask, looking back up to him and he smirks lightly.      "I have a plan,"

The Sex Talk- Winchester Sister

TW: implied sex, questioning sexuality

Inspired by Sex Education

     "All I'm saying Dean, is if you're going to have sex in the room, at least let us know before hand." Sam grumbled, glaring at our older brother as they finished packing up the Impala before getting in the car.      "You're just annoyed you're not getting any Sammy," Dean chuckled, brushing off our brother and sliding in the front seat before starting the car.      "No Dean, I'm annoyed that now we're out of seventy bucks cause Leah and I had to get another room for the night." Sam snapped, referring to me and I glanced up from the backseat, trying to ignore this conversation.      "Yeah whatever," Dean rolled his eyes. "Next time either you or Leah can grab a piece of ass."      I shifted uncomfortably in the backseat at the mention of myself having sex and my brother speaking about me in that manner and shove headphones into my ears, escaping this conversation by drowning out my brothers bickering.      The bickering between my older brothers however continues until we reach Illinois and pull into a roadside diner that claims to have the "best milkshakes in the USA". The three of us slide into a booth and pick up the slightly sticky menus, flipping through them quickly before deciding what we wanted to eat. A twenty-something year old waitress comes up to our table, quickly taking our orders not before batting her eyes and bird like false eyelashes at Sam and then walking away, swaying her hips lightly.      Dean nods his head before the waitress and nudges Sam who was sitting beside me, "Look Sammy, that could be your piece of ass."      "Shut up Dean," Sam says through gritted teeth as the waitress comes back and I focus my attention to my strawberry milkshake, wishing that my brothers would drop their bickering and just talk about anything else.      "What about you Leah?" Dean says, nudging my foot with his, making me look up from my milkshake. "Could that be your piece of ass?"      He nods his head towards a bus boy who was around my age who was clearing dishes away from a table not far from ours. He was fairly attractive but the thought of having sex with him or with anyone made my stomach churn.      "That's not funny Dean," I mutter and grab my milkshake, clenching my jaw.      "If you need tips you just gotta ask, I'm sure-" Dean begins, making me slam my milkshake cup down on the table and leave the booth quickly, practically running out of the diner and back out to the Impala where I sink to the pavement of the parking lot, leaning against the back wheel of the car.      Sure the bus boy was attractive, his wavy brown hair hung in his green eyes and his sharp jawline could probably cut paper and the way his tattoos creeped out from under his shirt sleeve intrigued me but I'd be damned if I ever wanted to see him naked or in any sexual context. Was that even normal for someone my age? I knew other girls who had sex all the time, had sex with different people every other week or had sex with their partner almost every day and I mean good for them but that couldn't be enjoyable could it? It certainly didn't seem enjoyable to me.      My thoughts were spiraling as Sam approached me from the diner, sitting on the pavement as well, leaning against the front wheel and looking at me.      "He didn't mean it, he was just teasing-" Sam tried to start saying before I interrupted him.      "I don't want to have sex." I blurt out, looking at him with big eyes. "Like ever, with anyone."      Sam looked at me for a moment quietly, I could tell the wheels in his brain were turning as I continued to babble. "I think I might be broken... I just have no connection to it."      Sam nodded, and spoke quietly, considering his words before he spoke. "How do you feel when you think about sex or having sex?"      "I don't feel anything, I have no connection to it." I say, my words rushed. "It's like I'm surrounded by a feast with everything I could ever want to eat but I'm not hungry."      Sam nodded again, understanding what I was saying. "Do you know what asexuality is?"      I shake my head, I had never heard the term before. Sam let out a small breath, "It's when someone has no sexual attraction to any sex or gender."      I nodded, the term starting to make some sense to me as Sam continues, "Sex just doesn't do it for some people."      "But I still want to fall in love," I admit. "Like- like how you and Jess did." Sam smiled lightly, thinking back to his girlfriend Jess, "Well some people still want the romantic relationships but they don't want the sex bit and others don't want either."      "So I'm not weird or it's not wrong to feel like this?" I ask quietly, looking down at my shoes.      "You know sexuality is fluid right?" Sam asks and I nod, looking back up at him. "Sex doesn't make us whole so how could you ever be broken?"      "I guess that makes sense," I nod, taking in the words he said.      We are quiet for a moment, listening to the traffic pass by the diner before I look up at him again. "I think I'm asexual."      "Okay," Sam smiles lightly. "Thank you for telling me. I'm proud of you, I know it's not always easy to say things like this."      "I don't want to tell Dean." I say quickly, slightly worried that he may think it's weird not to want to have any sexual attraction to anyone.      "I'll handle him, don't worry about it." He says and I breathe a sigh of relief.      "Thank you Sam," I smile.      "Anytime kid."

First Time- Remus Lupin Oneshot

TW: implied sex, pain

     I was nibbling on a piece of milk chocolate as I slowly walked into the Great Hall. Every single inch of my body ached, today had been the first day I was actually able to get out of bed since the most recent full moon that happened just two days ago. It wasn't exactly comfortable having each of your bones dislocate or break in order to become into my werewolf form, and I had spent the last two days curled in my bed, sleeping or trying not to cry from the pain of my recovering body.      Walking into the Great Hall, I scan the large room looking for my boyfriend and his friends, quickly spotting them, they were eating dinner and laughing about something I couldn't hear. I walk towards them, my muscles screaming in resistance until I finally reach them.      "Hey darling," Remus smiled up at me. He looked at lot better than I did considering we both had transformed just days ago, but he always had a quicker recovery time than I did. I smile and kiss his cheek, "Didn't think you'd be coming, thought I'd have to bring you dinner."      "No, I feel-" I'm cut off by a involuntary whimper leaving my mouth as I sit down on the hard wooden bench, pain shooting up from between my legs. Remus looks at me concerned, "You okay? What's wrong?" He whispers, both James and Sirius also looking at me with concern.      I nod, wincing slightly as I try to shift my body weight so my core wasn't pressing so much against the bench. "Just sore, I'm okay."      "What'd you do, fuck her too hard Mooney?" James chuckled, his eyes flickering from Remus to me.      "Go all hardcore wolf?" Sirius laughed, joining in on James's antics, making my cheeks start to flush. When Remus and I avoided answering their questions, him instead squeezing my hand, this caused the two boys to continue their taunts.      "You did!" James said in disbelief. "Didn't you?"      My cheeks were heating up and I stare down at the table, not looking at my boyfriend or his friends.      "Shut up James." Remus said harshly but they continued to laugh to themselves.      "Fuck her so hard she could barely walk!" James sneered. "You saw how she walked in here."      "Couldn't get enough so you had to fuck in wolf form! Go Mooney, you horny bastard!" Sirius laughed, staring at his friend before turning to me. "So Nova, Remus better in wolf form or like this?"      Normally I could ignore their jeers and taunts, roll my eyes or even laugh along with them. But right now, in my exhausted state, their words hurt. I could feel tears brimming in my eyes, threatening to fall.      "Will you both shut up!" Remus says, his voice loud and firm.      "How horny do you gotta be to fuck as a wolf?" Sirius laughed, ignoring my uncomfortable face and Remus's pleads to get them to be quiet.      "We gotta worry about little pups running around?" James said. "Couldn't just wait to fuck as humans like normal?"      I could feel rage bubble inside of me, my hands forming fists as I jump from the table and rush from the Great Hall, ignoring the pleads of my sore body as I run back to the Gryffindor dorms, locking myself inside of my dorm. I burrow myself in my bed, covering my body in thick blankets as tears begin to fall from my eyes from frustration and shame.      I didn't know how long I had been burrowed under my blankets before I heard a gentle knock coming from outside of my door and the low toned voice of my boyfriend, "Baby it's me, can you let me in?"      Picking up my wand from where I had abandoned it beside me I whisper a quick Alohomora before retreating back under my covers. I heard my dorm room door open, the hinges squeaking slightly as Remus enters the room. His quiet footsteps cross the room and stop as he sits on the bed beside my curled up form, gently removing the blanket from over my face and wiping away some stray tears on my cheek.      "I'm sorry baby," He whispers, running his calloused fingers through my hair soothingly.      "It's not you who should be apologizing." I mutter, swiping some tears from my cheeks away angrily.      "They just don't know when to shut up," Remus says, running a hand through his hair. I push back my blankets and sit up quickly, ignoring the sudden head rush I had and look at my boyfriend.      "It's embarrassing Remmy," I say quietly and look down at my hands that were clasped together in my lap.      "It shouldn't be Nova," He says, taking my hands in his, rubbing the back of my hands with his thumbs soothingly. "You know when we're like that, we can't control ourselves."      "I- I just thought our first time would be special, it would be different, not this rough painful thing that I don't even barely remember." I murmur, avoiding his gaze.      "Hey, hey, look at me," He whispers, lifting my chin with his index finger so I was looking him in the eye. "Our first time- our real first time is still going to be special. It'll be different and I promise you that we will do it when you want to, when you are comfortable."      "I just hate that I don't remember any of it, that the only reminder I have that we had sex is the pain I feel days later."      "I know baby and I'm sorry that I caused that pain but our first real time I promise I will be gentle, there will be no pain, everything will be by your word and your say." He caresses' my cheek with his thumb, looking deep in my eyes.      "What if... it takes me a while to want to actually have our first time?" I whisper, embarrassed that I was unsure about having sex anytime soon, especially if it would cause a pain between my legs after like this did.      "Baby we have the rest of our lives, and if you're never ready that's completely fine, I won't look at you or love you any different." Remus reassures, smiling lightly.      "Thank you Remmy," I smile and wrap my arms around him, crawling into his lap and resting my head against his shoulder. "I love you."      "I love you too angel,"

Requiem For John Winchester- Winchester Sibling Oneshot

TW: implied child abuse/ neglect, alcoholism

Inspired by Shameless Us season 7 episode 12

     The Winchester siblings had been driving for many hours from Wyoming to South Dakota to visit Bobby, with very little breaks in between, although the three were rather used to the long drives now, having traveled thousands of miles around the United States fighting and killing countless monsters. Dean turned the roaring AC/DC album off as they pulled the Impala into Bobby's driveway and made their way up to his house before turning the car off. Sam stretched in his seat before turning to the backseat, shaking the knee of his little sister Eden who had fallen asleep a few hours before,      "Rise and shine sunshine," Dean smiled as Eden yawned, pulling her messy hair into a bun and grabbing her duffel bag filled with her very little belongings she was able to call her own. Together the siblings unloaded the car, grabbing a few duffel bags before walking up to Bobby's front door and ringing the doorbell.      "Bobby's got a new car," Eden noticed, nodding over to a navy blue Chevrolet Saturn that was parked not far from where Bobby kept his cars. Dean hummed in response and Sam nodded as Bobby opened the front door, smiling as he saw the Winchester siblings for the first time in months.      The siblings said their hellos to Bobby as they entered the house, Eden hugging the old man they considered their Uncle tight before making her way further into the house. "How have you been Bobby?"      "Same old, same old." Bobby chuckled as they all walked into the living room, placing their bags on the floor when they noticed the other visitor who was sitting in Bobby's lazyboy chair with an opened beer in his hand: John Winchester; their father.      The brown haired man took a sip of his beer before looking at his three children, "Took you long enough to get here," He sneered.      "Dad?" Dean asked, almost shocked he was seeing his father who had disappeared months ago without a trace, scaring the three siblings half to death and causing months long manhunt for him only to find him lounging on a recliner with a cheap beer in his hand.      John stood up and gestured to himself, "In the flesh,"      "Where have you been?' Eden asked, looking at her father with hope wilting in her eyes.      "Never been one for casualties have you Eden," John smiled lightly and held his arms open, "Come give your old man a hug."      Eden didn't move, didn't move a muscle to go give her father what he wanted. "No thank you."      John raised an eyebrow and dropped his arms back to his sides and looked to his eldest son, "Dean, tell your sister to come give me a hug."      Dean shook his head, looking between his little sister and his father, "I don't force her to do things she's not comfortable with. I'm not going to do what you did to me."      "Excuse me?" John said, staring daggers at his son.      "You heard me." Dean replied, much to Sam and Eden's surprise as Dean was not someone who disobeyed their father.      "Who do you think you are?" John growled, his hands balling into fists in anger.      "I know who I am and that's nothing like you."      "You don't know anything about me." John shook his head, looking at his three children.      "I know you were never here." Dean said, staring coldly at his father.      "You knew where I was! I was trying to find that thing that killed your mother!" John said, his voice rising.      "You deserted us."      "I loved you. I loved you all." John said, trying to reason with Dean's upset words.      "That was love?" Dean sneered, rolling his eyes, growing more frustrated.      "Yes!" John shouted. "Yes it is!"      "Okay then why did you leave? Why did you dump us in a motel room for months on end without a care in the world?" He yelled back.      "You don't know what you're talking about!"      "If you loved us so much why weren't you ever here?" Dean shouted, his voice rumbling through the house. Eden swallowed the lump in her throat, knowing that this was years and years of repressed emotions that Dean had pushed down.      "I tried." John said, lowering his gaze to the carpet floor. "I always tried."      "You weren't here! You were never fucking here! You left!" Dean bellowed, his face filled with anger. "I was nine! Nine and taking care of you, taking care of all of us!" He gestured to his quiet siblings who stood behind him in stunned silence. "I should've been in fourth grade but instead I was pouring your liquor down the motel room drain so you wouldn't drink yourself to death!"      "Dean-" John tried to say but was cut off by his son.      "Don't start! You didn't do shit! I was the one staying up all night with Sammy when he had chicken pox! I washed Eden's shitty diapers when you were passed out drunk! I picked lice out of Sam's hair and I was here when Eden got her first period, not you- me."      Dean's words hung in the air, the room filled with tense uncomfortable silence as John began to truly realize how much he took Dean for granted over all these years.      Dean swallowed hard and turned to his siblings, grabbing his duffel bag he had dropped on Bobby's living room floor, looking back to his father. "So when you decide to man up and become a true father, give us a call and maybe then Eden will give you a damn hug."

Nightmares- Sirius Black Sister Oneshot

TRIGGER WARNINGS: mentions of nightmares, hints of child neglect

     I woke up with a jolt, my breathing heavy and my palms sweating. My room was dark, heavy rain thudding against the window, making the house cold and damp. I wrap my arms around myself, running my hands up and down my arms, trying to warm up my cold body. My body was trembling, both from the cold that hung in the room and from the nightmare that can scared me awake.      I swing my legs out from under my bed covers, goosebumps instantly covering my pale flesh as I step onto the cold dark wooden floor and walk towards my bedroom door, turning the cold door handle and stepping out into the hallway. It was hard to see, the house was so dark but I could faintly see my parent's bedroom door just at the end of the hallway. I creep down the hallway, getting closer to my parent's room, but I hesitate before I reach for the door handle, rubbing my cold feet against the soft flannel of my pajamas pants.      My mother and father would probably just send me straight back to bed if I woke them up at this hour, they wouldn't care if I had a nightmare so bad I was trembling or that I need some comfort after being scared. I was still hesitating, still trying to warm my cold feet against my pajama pants when I suddenly heard a soft husky voice, making me jump.      "Genevieve?" My older brother says from down the hall, standing in front of the bathroom door he had just exited. He walks closer to me, his eyes heavy with sleep and stoops down to my height, "What are you doing awake?"      I look at him and then down at my feet, "I had a nightmare,"      He nods as he wasn’t a stranger to nightmares himself, running a hand through his shoulder length onyx black hair and sighs, "Wanna come sleep in my room tonight?"      I look up at him with pleading grey eyes and nod my head quickly, "Yes please."      Sirius stands up, holding his hand out for me to take which I do happily, "Damn you're cold Gen!"      He leads me to his bedroom, turning on one of the lamps that sit on his bookshelf on, illuminating the room with a soft golden glow. I crawl into his warm bed, about to tuck myself into the thick blankets and duvet when Sirius throws a sweatshirt at me, "Put this on so you don't freeze to death."      I shrug on the hoodie, engulfed in more warmth as the hoodie is so big it almost goes down to my knees. I tuck myself into Sirius' bed, feeling the effects of my nightmare disappear. Sirius turns off the lamp, making the room dark again and he returns to his own bed, crawling back under the plush covers.      "Thank you Sirius," I whisper, snuggling deeper into the warmth of his bed.      "Anytime kid," He smiles and I drift back into a peaceful sleep.

Falling- Marauders Oneshot

Inspired by Dear Evan Hansen

TRIGGER WARNINGS: suicide mention, attempted suicide, failed suicide attempt, suicidal thoughts, mentions of depression

     I walk slowly to the Great Hall, my feet feeling like lead as I take slow steps towards the Gryffindor table towards my three friends. As I walk past many staring eyes I can feel the sling holding my arm feel as if it was getting tighter, suffocating me and I almost consider turning back around and just going back to my dorm room. However, my idea doesn't go as planned as my friend Remus Lupin notices me getting closer and he nudges my other friend Sirius Black who also looks up at me, this causes James Potter to turn and find me in the crowd as well.      I sit down beside James, across from Sirius and grab a mug to fill it with coffee, "Good morning," I whisper through a tight smile.      "Hi," Remus smiles, looking up at me with bright eyes as I fill my coffee mug and sit back down beside James. "How're you feeling?"      I shrug with my good arm and try to ignore their pressing stares as I drink my coffee. I can hear the bell chime, signaling that it was time for students to start going to their first classes, I had a free period as well as Remus but Sirius and James didn't move to start their descent to Potions class.      "How'd you break your arm?" Sirius asks looking at me with a eyebrow raised.      "You know I broke my arm Sirius." I mutter, avoiding his gaze.      "How'd you break your arm Y/N?" Sirius pressed.      "I fell." I finally look at him and I know he doesn't believe the story I've been telling all along.      "Really?" James pipped up from beside me, knowing what Sirius was thinking. "Is that what happened?"      "YES!" I say frustrated, slamming my empty coffee mug down onto the table. I look around and notice the Great Hall was practically empty, only a few other students who were choosing to spend their free period studying here. "I was... I lost my grip on my broom and then I just.. I fell so..."      I could tell my friends didn't believe my story, didn't believe that I had simply lost my grip on my broom and fell during the Quidditch game and broke my arm. I rub the back of my neck, staring down at the wooden table, avoiding their concerned faces as tears threatened to fall from my eyes.      Sirius reaches across the table and takes my hand in his, making me look up at him as he asked quietly, "Did you fall? Or did you let go?"      A tear falls down my cheek and I attempt to swallow the lump that’s forming in my throat as I thought back to a few days ago, during the Quidditch game between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw, it had been a windy stormy game and I had in fact lost my balance and was hanging onto my broom with one hand. I had been thinking about doing something, falling from the Astronomy tower, provoking one of the creatures in the Forbidden Forrest and being mauled to death; but in this moment when I was dangling 100 feet above the ground during a windy and stormy game it would indeed just look like an accident if I were to fall and never walk off the field, so I let go but Professor Dumbledore cast the stupid spell to slow my fall, causing only a broken arm.      "I let go," I whisper, my voice cracking as I admit what I had done. "I need help."      The boys nodded, looking at me with sad smiles, they all knew about my depression but I had never told them about my suicidal thoughts before. "We'll help you."

Twin Size Mattress- Sirius Black Sister Oneshot

Inspired by the song Twin Size Mattress by The Front Bottoms

     The smell of smoke and burnt fabric was still thick in the air, even after having wafted up to the third floor where I was currently sitting on my older brother Sirius's bed. The sounds of him and my Mother screaming at each other still ringing in my ears. Sirius was like a human version of a tornado, spiraling around his room, grabbing anything he deemed to be important and shoving them into the trunk he used when he would go to Hogwarts, not bothering to fold the clothes.      I was sitting on his bed, picking at my fingernails as I watched him walk around his room. "Do you have to go?" I whisper, looking up at him.      He stops his movements, shoving the shirts he was holding into the trunk and looked up at me, the same grey eyes we both had were glossy with unfallen tears. "You know I can't stay." He runs a hand through his choppy black hair.      "They cut your hair, and sent you away," I say, noticing how Mother had chopped off his long black hair into uneven layers closer to his head. Mother had always despised his long hair, saying he looked queer but Sirius had taken so much pride in growing his hair to his shoulders, occasionally putting it into braids or a bun or even letting me play with it.      He shoved more things in his trunk until it was overflowing, stuffed to the brim. Running a hand through his hair again, he lets out a shaky sigh, looking around at his now almost completely empty bedroom. The only things left were some old cloths in the wardrobe, some books on the book shelf and posters he had stuck to the wall.      With tears in my eyes, I begged him to stay. He looks guilty as he pulls his his trunk off the bed, letting it hit the floor with a heavy thud. "Hey darling I love you, but no fucking way."      He carries the trunk from his room and I follow him, watching him bang the trunk down three flights of stairs. I follow closely behind and right before he walks out the front door I grab his hand,      "I'm going to miss you," I whisper, holding his hand tightly, silently begging him not to leave me alone here. "I'll miss you too." He smiles sadly, his fingers slipping through mine as he steps out of the door.

Lonely Stars Final Chapter

Trigger Warnings: drug use, forced drug use, mental hospitals, mentions of spousal abuse, mentions of depression

Age 32      My limbs and my mind were fuzzy from the countless drugs I had been fed throughout the years I have been in St. Mungo's. Mulciber said I was suffering from a "mental breakdown" caused by the death of Regulus and the imprisonment of Sirius and that I was dangerous to him and Tiana. I have been here the past twelve years, pacified by the endless stream of drugs my lovely husband demanded they feed me.      I was sitting in a rocking chair, my legs covered by a thin baby blue knitted blanket, I stared out the window, it was sunny outside, the sun felt warm on my skin. This was the closest I have been to outside in almost thirteen years, and I was hopeless. I knew I was stuck here forever, Mulciber would never let me leave and come back home, and my family wouldn't accept me back, they labelled me a crazy blood traitor who's a danger to myself.      The radio that sat in the corner of the room crackled as a news report blared loudly across the room, "Attention! Mass murderer Sirius Black has escaped from Azkaban and is said to be somewhere in London! He is a very dangerous man and is wanted by the Ministry, if anyone has any information on his wareabouts contact the Ministry immediately!"      I turn my head back to the sunny window and feel a smile creep onto my face, Sirius Black, my older brother, was somewhere in London. I haven't seen him since before my wedding, since before Regulus had been pronounced dead. I feel my limp shaky arm move towards my throat, cradling the silver necklace that had a simple paw print charm on it, the same necklace Sirius had given me years ago as a graduation gift, the only thing St. Mungo's had let me keep from the outside world. My smile grew wider as I began to think about all of the lovely memories of my two brothers, one of the first real smiles I've had in years.

The End

A/N: thank you so much for reading Lonely Stars

Lonely Stars Chapter Eleven

Trigger Warnings: spousal abuse, mentions of future character death, mentions of healed scars

Age 20      Gentle rain pitter-pattered against the windows of the house. Stormy grey clouds covered the sky, no sunlight peeking through the dense clouds. I was sitting on the floor in my living room with my almost two year old daughter Tiana playing with some building blocks. She looked just like me, dark onyx black hair, pale white skin and grey eyes. Her cheeky smile was eerily familiar, it was Sirius' cheeky smile that could talk his way out of anything.      There was a sudden shout and then loud cheers of laughter that came from the other room where Mulciber and fellow Death Eaters were having a meeting. They recently have been choosing to meet in my dining hall much to my dismay, despite having the Mark when I was younger and having previously had similar thoughts to Voldemort, influenced by my parents, I no longer share the beliefs they do and do not want my child around such cruelty. Although I would never tell Mulciber this.      "Daddy done?" My daughter asks, looking up at me with her beautiful big grey eyes innocently. She was such a daddy's girl, although Mulciber hardly ever gave her any attention despite how much she would cry and beg and plead.      "Soon baby, your father's just in a meeting right now." I smile, brushing her soft cheek with my thumb. "Why don't you go find Tolkey and ask for a snack?" Tiana gasps and nods happily, running away to go find the House Elf we have to give her a snack. I watch as she runs away, her chubby little legs carrying her as fast as possible. Although she didn't come from the best of predicaments, she made me so happy, made my eyes light up whenever she entered the room, and I had promised myself the moment she was born that I would never be the absent parent my own Mother had been.      After Tiana had disappeared from my sight I slowly creep forward towards the dining hall, my footsteps as light and quiet as I could make them and as I get to the heavy wood door I press my ear against it, straining to hear the conversation taking place just feet from where I stood.      ".... James and Lily Potter easily, blame it on the blood traitor Sirius Black." Came a voice.      "They can blame his previous antics about blood purity, no one will know any different," Came another voice but it was quickly cut off by the voice of Severus Snape, the same person who gave me these scars I still carry years ago.      "I believe there is someone uninvited listening to this conversation." He says coldly, but how could he have known? I step back from the door, trying to look as if I had merely been passing by the door but my façade was spoiled by the door opening quickly, there standing my very angry husband.      "You can't," I whisper, admitting I had been listening to the conversation.      "Aurelia, this doesn't concern you." He says, closing the door behind him to the dining hall so we were alone.      "He's my brother." I plead. "An innocent man! You can't blame him for the deaths of his best friends!"      "Aurelia, this has already been decided." He says through gritted teeth, his eyes cold and displeased.      I look back to the living room and at the phone, if I was fast enough maybe I could reach it and warn James and Lily. I bolt towards it, my feet pounding against the hard wood floors, trying to reach the telephone but I felt strong arms wrap themselves around my waist, pulling me back and up from the floor, my feet dangling. I fought against the grip of my husband, pounding my fists against his arms that held me firmly in place against his chest as he carried me towards a broom closet, opening it quickly and shoving me inside, casting a quick locking spell. I rattle the door handle, smashing my fist against the door, knowing it was useless. Above my screams and pleads to be let out of the closet, I heard Mulciber call for Tolkey, yelling for her to call St. Mungo's hospital.      "I've had enough of your shit." He seethed through the crack of the door.

Lonely Stars Chapter Ten

Trigger Warnings: character death, spousal abuse,

Age 18      I was neatly folding the remainder of my clothing in my childhood bedroom, placing them into cardboard boxes, ready to take them back to my new house that Mulciber and I now live in. I fold a dark pair of jeans and place them at the top of the half full cardboard box and go to my sparse book shelf, ready to pack up the rest of the books I have, only to be startled by the sound of a loud pop coming from downstairs. I place  the book I was holding in the box and quickly walk downstairs, my sock clad feet thudding down the long staircase to see Kreacher standing in the foyer, looking shaken up and visibly upset. I come to the bottom of the stairs,      "Kreacher? What's wrong?" I ask, nearing the House Elf.      "Master Regulus..."He croaked, and I remembered hearing Regulus and Kreacher leaving early this morning after I had arrived to finish my packing, they had been speaking in hushed voices, Regulus looked worried and panicked before they disappeared.      "Regulus? What? What are you talking about?"      "He made me go, wouldn't let me come back for him." Kreacher whispered, not looking at me in the eye. I kneel down to his height and grab him by the shoulders.      "Kreacher what are you saying? Where's my brother?"      "Gone Miss,"      "Gone?" I say. "Like dead?"      Kreacher looks down  at the ground, refusing to look me in the eye. Tears welled up in my eyes as the words he spoke to me at the wedding rang through my ears and I shake Kreacher,      "Answer me! Where's my brother? Take me to him!" I yell as tears start to fall from my eyes.      "I can't Miss. He said to tell no one." Kreacher admitted.      "Tell me at once. I order you to tell me where Regulus is! What happened to Regulus?" I scream, holding his shoulders tight enough to form bruises.      "I am forbidden to tell anyone by orders of Master Regulus."      The front door suddenly and heavy footsteps enter the foyer and a familiar voice speaks,      "Aurelia what is taking so long?" Mulciber says impatiently, I had forgotten that he was going to come pick me to help me move my belongings.      I loosen my grip on Kreacher's shoulders and my own start to sag, "My brother- he- he, I don't know, I think he's dead."      "Aurelia, you're not making any sense." Mulciber says. I look up at him and stand up,      "I have to go see my brother. I have to speak to Sirius." I say, going towards the telephone in the family room but Mulciber grabs my wrist firmly.      "Sirius is not your brother. He is not your family." He growls, looking at me angrily. "I don't allow you to speak to blood traitors like Sirius."      "Let me go." I whimper, his grip on my wrist get tighter by the second. "I have to go talk to him."      "Stop it. You're being delirious." He sneers, his dark eyes cold.      "You're hurting me." I murmur, pulling against him.      "You are my wife. You listen to me. If I say that fucking blood traitor Sirius is not your family then I mean it. He is not your family."      Tears flow down my face more and in defeat I crumple like a piece of paper, falling to my knees only to harshly be pulled back up and I feel a hard slap cross my face, stinging my cheek.      "Control yourself. Now get your things and return to the car this instant. Do not make me ask twice." Mulciber growls, dropping my wrist and looking at me with disgust. I nod silently, trying to control my crying. "Do I make myself clear?"      "Yes Sir," I whisper, feeling like a small powerless child. Mulciber walks out of the house, slamming the door behind him, hard enough to make the house shake slightly. Kreacher looks at me, his eyes looking sorry for me as I cup my stinging cheek but walk back up the stairs to my room to finish getting my belongings.

Lonely Stars Chapter Nine

Trigger Warnings: arranged marriage, mention of spousal abuse, mention of scars

Age 18      Every wedding that I have ever attended, the bride and groom have always been happy, or have been very good at faking being happy. I am standing close to my new husband, Mulciber, fidgeting uncomfortable in my lace dress that covered my body entirely from the neck down, hiding all of my scars with itchy lace. As my Mother had covered my face with heavy makeup this morning, she reminded me that brides shouldn't look like a monster, so I should continue to cover my scars. Had to get one finally jab in before I left her guardianship and belonged to my new husband.      Guests of the wedding came to congratulate me and Mulciber, attempting to give advice for the newlyweds, but their advice eventually blurred together into one giant conversation that seemed never ending. My cheeks ached from the hours of fake smiling, and my grip was so tight on my champagne glass I believe it may shatter soon.        I notice a dark figure enter the party, looking familiar, maybe Sirius? He had promised to come even just for a moment. The figure turns their head and I see Regulus and I smile, taking a step forward only to be pulled back harshly. "Where do you think you're going?" Hissed my husband, gripping my elbow tightly.      "To go talk to Reg," I say quietly, slightly startled by his behavior.      He rolls his dark eyes, "A good wife would've asked first, but you're excused," His death grip on my elbow ceases and he almost pushes me forward as he lets go.      I walk over to Regulus, my white heels clicking against the wooden floor, sounding eerily like my Mother's. Regulus looked similar to graduation night, similar grey shirt tucked into dark dress pants. I smile as I approach him, "Reg, where were you? I missed you during the ceremony."      He looks down as I approach, almost as if he was ashamed of himself or hiding something, "The Dark Lord has me doing many errands recently,"      I look at him more closely, his hair was unkept, slightly tangled, his eyes looked shallow and distant with deep bruise like bags under them, his cheeks slightly sunken in and his skin paler than usual. His shoulders, normally straight, were curled in, tired looking, like holding up the weight of his own body was a chore. "Regulus, are you okay?"      He is quiet for a moment before stepping closer to me and leaning close to ear, close enough that I can feel his warm breath, "Stay safe Lia, things are changing fast."      "What are you talking about?" I whisper.      "I can't say. But please, stay safe for me. I love you Lia."      I try to take his pinky finger in mine, looking for a small sign of reassurance but he pulled his hand from my grasp and left the wedding party without another word.

Lonely Stars Chapter Eight

Trigger Warnings: underage drinking, mention of healed scars, mention of arranged marriage

Age 17      This party was just as extravagant as every other party my Mother has planned. Classical music was played by a piano player in the corner, allowing those who chose to dance to sway peacefully. Regulus walked towards me with a glass of champagne in each hand, looking dashing as always, his shoulder length black hair tied back neatly into a low ponytail, his long sleeve grey button shirt tucked into his dark dress pants, his black leather shoes shined. I could tell Mother was much more pleased with his outfit choice rather than the strappy black dress I chose to wear tonight, it had a plunging neckline with a strappy tied back that went to my mid thigh. It perfectly showed off almost every scar I have, much to her dismay as she prefers to cover them up and not speak of them. Almost like all of our family issues.      "I told Mother not to go overboard," Regulus sighs as he hands me a glass of champagne.      I scoff and roll my eyes, "She does as she wants Regulus, you know your input meant nothing, same with mine."      He chuckles and takes a sip of his champagne, we fall into a comfortable silence as we watch the guests mill about, occasionally coming over to us to congratulate us on our graduation or ask us what we plan to do now that we have finished our schooling or more like ask Regulus what he plans to do now as my future has already been decided for me.      Finishing my glass of champagne, I place it on a empty tray as one of the servants passes us, politely offering us more champagne but before I could accept anymore I felt a tug on the hem of my dress and I look down to find Kreacher, one of the oldest House Elves to serve our house, "Excuse me Mistress Aurelia and Master Regulus, but there is a guest outside who would like to speak with you in the gardens."      Shrugging, Regulus dismisses Kreacher and we walk together out of the banquet hall, down a series of hallways and outside in the cool night air, I attempt to entwine my pink around Regulus' but he brushes away his hand and places it in his pants pocket. We walk along the path leading to the gardens until we both see a dark figure standing by a large rose bush.      "Sirius?" I call, recognizing the dark silhouette. My brother turns and smiles, stepping towards us and I rush to give him a hug, I haven't seen him in almost a year after he graduated from Hogwarts himself and left to go accomplish his own goals. Regulus however, slows his walk so he is a few feet away from us in our tangled embrace.      "Happy graduation," He smiled, letting go of my tight hug.      "Thank you Sirius, I've missed you," I smile, feeling more at ease now that Sirius was here.      "I missed you both," He admitted, looking from me to Regulus who frowned.      "Why are you here Sirius?" Regulus questioned to my dismay.      "Am I not allowed to give my siblings their graduation gifts?" Sirius mused, pulling out two wrapped gifts from his inside pocket of his leather jacket. Regulus steps forward and takes his gift unceremoniously, ripping off the wrapping paper, revealing a book.      "It's the one I remember you talking about lots, all about the history of dark magic," Sirius offers, smiling at him but Regulus only returns his smile with a small frown.      "I got this last year, after you didn't show up for our birthday." He said grimly.      "It's a lovely gift Sirius, a very nice gesture." I offer, giving my twin a deathly glare, he could at least be grateful for the gift. I start to unwrap my gift, it was a smaller box, and as I open it I see a beautiful sterling silver necklace with a small paw print charm dangling from the chain. I smile brightly, and turn to Sirius, thanking him as I put the necklace on. "It's beautiful, I'll never take it off."      "You're welcome,"      Regulus clears his throat, "I should go back to our party before people start wondering where we are." I nod in agreement, and Regulus walks away without saying goodbye to our older brother.      Sirius furrows his brow as we walk over to a stone bench in the garden, "What's up with him?"      I shrug, "He's been like that recently, really closed off." I shiver from the night's cool breeze and Sirius shrugs off his leather jacket and drapes it over my shoulder, engulfing me in its cozy warmth.      "Congratulations by the way, I heard about the engagement to Mulciber." Sirius says, nudging me with his shoulder. "Although I do have to say, finding out from Remus was rather embarrassing. Where's my invitation?"      I blow a stray hair out of my face with a huff, "You know it was Mother who planned all that shit, I had nothing to do with it. Barely even know the guy, it's just to keep blood status."      "Just in a few days though, must be at least a little exciting," Sirius hums.      "Day after my eighteenth birthday," I sigh. "Mother is excited to be rid of me, planned the whole thing and sprung it on me a week ago."      "Are you happy?"      I shrug, "I don't know, I guess it takes the pressure off of worrying who to marry, but I would've liked to have some say in it."      "Did you at least get to pick your own bridesmaid?" Sirius chuckled.      "I think it's Bella, but you could always crash it, take me away to wherever it is that you're hiding these days."      "If only," Sirius smiled, imagining the idea.      "Will you be there?" I question, leaning my head against his shoulder.      "I'll try to be , just like tonight, even just for a few moments."

Lonely Stars Chapter Seven

Trigger Warnings: scars, picking at scars/ injuries, self hatred, self doubt,

Age 16      It's been exactly one week since I left the hospital wing and readjusting to Hogwarts has been a challenge. Before the accident I would hold my head high like Mother taught me, because I was a proud Black woman and everyone should know that and acknowledge my presence but now I just want to shrink inside myself when anyone looks at me or in my direction. Sirius and Regulus have helped, they will try drawing attention more towards themselves instead of me and my scars that how cover my body. Sirius just the other day decided to steal one of my skirts and wear that all day around school grounds while accompanying me places, that definitely got some weird looks from students and different professors that weren't as familiar with Sirius' antics. Regulus would give people the dirtiest of looks if they even dared to look at me, ready to go off on anyone without a second thought.      People's looks weren't always what bothered me though, and as much as Sirius and Regulus tried to make me feel better about the scars, they couldn't keep out my thoughts. I had always been taught to enhance my natural beauty, a little bit of blush on my cheek bones, swipe of eyeliner or mascara, but it's hard to enhance your beauty when you don't find yourself beautiful anymore. The most noticeable scar was across my face, it started just above my right eyebrow, came down across my forehead and nose, ending the apple of my left cheek. There were others littering my neck, my chest, a very thick one that started at my left ribs and ended near my right hip, multiple on the legs, arms and back. But despite the warming weather, I continued to wear long sleeve shirts, sweaters and pants or skirts to hide the hideous scars that would be forever on my body.      I was supposed to be meeting Regulus and Sirius for breakfast, I was seated at the Ravenclaw table like every morning, picking at my breakfast but quickly loosing my appetite after seeing the still healing scars on my hands and arms. I push my plate away in disgust, and notice two Slytherin girls walking past, both gave me looks of horror as they say my face and arms, then quickly whispering to themselves as they walk faster. I rip my sleeves down covering the rest of my arms and my hands and look down at the table, trying to find interest in the old scratched wooden table.      I heard a stool scrape across the floor from across the table and I look up thinking it may be one of my brothers only to be met by the cheerful face of Remus Lupin, one of Sirius' best friends.      "Hey Lia," He smiles, sitting down on the stool.      "Hi Mooney," I smile back, using one of the nicknames I heard Sirius call him countless times.      "You look lonely, thought I'd join you for some toast," He says as he reaches over and grabs a piece of toast and starts to slather strawberry jaw on it with the butter knife he stole from my plate.      "No one wants to talk to me, they think I'm a freak." I mutter, referencing my scared face only to look up to see his similarly scared face. "I'm sorry that's not what I meant."      Regardless of what he could have assumed from my comment, he smiles and shrugs, taking a bite of his toast, "I knew what you meant Lia, it's okay."      We fall silent as Remus slathers another piece of toast with strawberry jam, listening to the chatter echoing the hall from the other tables. Absently I begin to pick at one of the half healed scars on my hands, not thinking anything of it until Remus gently takes my hand making me stop picking at the skin. He reaches into his book bag and pulls out a small container of cream, "Here, stops the itch."      I take the cream and place it in my own book bag, "Thank you Remus,"      He nods and takes the final bite of his piece of toast, "Of course,"      After a moment of silence I look back up at him, "Can I ask you a question?"      He hums in response and raises an eyebrow, telling me to continue, "How do you do it? How do you deal with all the looks and the stares and the whispers? It's killing me. It makes me feel like I'm an animal in a zoo."      Remus smiles and rubs the back of his neck thinking for a moment, "I own it. I can't change what happened so why try to change people's perceptions of you or about what happened." He gently takes my arm in his hand and starts to roll up my sleeve that I had previously pushed down in disgust of what was underneath. "That includes not hiding or turning away. Wear it with pride, you survived and no one can say otherwise."      I take in his words and nod, sitting up a bit straighter and raising my chin, pushing up my other shirt sleeve to show off my scars with pride just as Remus had said.

Lonely Stars Chapter Six

Trigger Warnings: self hatred, silbing arguing, heavy mentions of blood, violence, spell use of "Sectumsempra", mentions of scars

Age 16      Regulus had barely left my side after he discovered what I had done to my arm, he saw straight through the fake smiles I gave other people and saw the true me that was numb and feeling terrible about what Sirius had said. He made sure I was eating enough food, attending all my classes and actually sleeping at night, every morning he would be waiting outside of the Ravenclaw common room for me, and he would walk me to breakfast where he made sure I ate at least a piece of toast, and then he would walk me to my classes, and when those classes were finished, he would be waiting outside to walk me to the next one. I think he's nervous that I'm either going to disappear into the Forbidden Forest or try to kill myself, neither of which I would do.      Regulus and I were waiting in the prefect bathroom, Regulus had convinced Sirius to talk with us after he finally admitted what I had done to myself and my arm less than a week ago. The prefect bathroom was spotless, each of the white marble counters gleamed and the large golden bathtub that was the size of a swimming pool looked eager to be filled with fancy soaps and bubbles. Regulus leaned against a wall, examining his pristine fingernails, while I sat on the sink counter, impatiently clicking my own fingernails against the counter.      I jump off the counter, my boots thudding against the floor, "He's not coming." I say with annoyance.      "He's coming Aurelia, he said he would." Regulus said, trying to calm me.      "He said we were dead to him Reg, he's not coming." I say, disappointment dripping from my words. I let out a small sigh and go to leave the bathroom when the door swings open revealing Sirius. He looked the same as always, leather boots with mud stains, dark pants, untucked shirt and sweater vest with his tie untied.      "Sorry I'm late," He said, rubbing the back of his neck, looking guilty.      "We didn't think you were coming," Regulus admitted, pushing himself off the bathroom wall and coming closer to us.      "You're still my siblings, I still care about you." Sirius says, looking between Regulus and I.      "But not if we have the Dark Mark right?" I say with disgust, crossing my arms over my chest, staring daggers at Sirius.      "Aurelia I-" Sirius began but was cut off by the sound of footsteps coming from the far entrance of the prefect bathroom. We all turn towards the approaching footsteps to see Severus Snape, a older Slytherin in Sirius' year. He had a big smirk on his face and was twiddling his wand between his fingers.      "Awe," He mocked. "What a nice family reunion."      "Piss off Snivellus." Sirius growled, clearly not wanting to deal with the Slytherin boy at the moment.      "Oh, I don't think I will," Severus smirked, his eyes flickering from me to Regulus to back to Sirius.      "Severus please, this will only take a few minutes then we can talk." Regulus tries to reason only to be met with a viscous glare from the older boy.      "I don't want to speak to you Regulus, I want to speak to Sirius," He says slyly, his wand passing through his fingers smoothly.      "We're in the middle of something greaseface, leave us alone!" Sirius spat, getting frustrated by Severus. Within a second, Severus' wand had stopped twirling between his fingers and was pointed at Sirius.      "Severus!" Regulus yelled, sounding almost like Father when he is angry. Severus only ignores him and continues to point his wand at my brother.      "You don't get to tell me what to do after you nearly killed me Black." Severus sneered, his lip curling.      "What are you talking about?" I ask, having finally rediscovered my voice.      "Your brother locked me in the Shrieking Shack with that monster he calls his friend!" Snape yelled, glaring at Sirius.      "Don't you dare call Remus a monster!" Sirius yelled back, his hands balling into fists.      "That's what he is! Bloody werewolf should be put down." Severus spoke, causing Sirius to whip out his wand and point it back at him.      "I didn't lock you in there, I simply told you the shortcut we use to get there." Sirius says surprisingly calmly, justifying what he did.      "You could've had me killed! I could be dead and it would be that beasts fault!" Severus bellowed, his voice echoing off the porcelain walls. I can hear the hiss of Sirius' voice as he goes to cast a hex him or one of his friends made up but before he could form the words, Severus yelled his own spell, "Sectumsempra!"      Without even knowing what could possibly be the effects of the spell Severus had just cast, I push my brother out of the way and am hit with a violent jolt that I can only describe felt like a thousand knives piercing my skin. I fall to the ground with a heavy thud, suddenly feeling pain all over my body and as I look down I see the cause; my clothing was torn and I had deep cuts where it looked like invisible knives had slashed their way through my flesh and I was bleeding heavily. My hand hovered over my stomach, where I was bleeding the most as dark crimson blood started to pool around me and within a split second, both Sirius and Regulus were by my side.      "What did you do?" Regulus shrieked, looking at Severus who looked stunned.      "I- I didn't know it would be this bad," He stuttered, clearly also not knowing the effect this spell would have. His face looked shocked, the blood rushing from it, almost making him look as if he would be sick.      "Fix it!" Sirius yelled, looking from me to Severus desperately. "Take it back!"      Severus shakes his head dumbly, looking at me in fear, "I-I don't know it yet."       Before my brothers could say another word, he was running from the bathroom, his feet nearly slipping on my blood that was flowing heavily and staining the once beautiful marble floors.      I could hear moans falling from my mouth, whimpers and tears running down my face, my hands were shaking and the edges of my vision were fuzzy. My ears felt like they were stuffed full of cotton, the voice of Regulus sounding like it was a hundred years away as he tried to reassure me that it was okay, that it wasn't as bad as I thought it was.      "Go the hospital wing, tell Madam Promfrey what happened. I'll be there in a minute." Sirius ordered, looking down at my bloody frame. When Regulus hesitated, trying to absorb the words just spoke, he barked "Go!"      Regulus runs from the bathroom, also almost slipping on a smear of my blood. I felt Sirius' arms snaking around my back and under my knees, cradling my bloody body to his chest as he lifted me from the floor, making me whimper and whine in protest of his movements. "You're okay, it's okay," He breathed, trying to reassure both me and himself.      "I'm sorry," I whisper, my words slurring as vision goes in and out of focus. "I'm sorry, please don't be mad at me."      "I'm not mad Lia, I'm not mad anymore. It's okay, you're okay." He whispers, walking gingerly over my blood, careful not the slip. He tried to walk as smoothly but as fast as possible, trying not to disturb me as I babbled endless slurred apologizes.      My vision tried to focus as Sirius' pace began to slow, we were near the hospital wing. Sirius' untied Gryffindor tie was stained with blood, my blood. He tried as gently as possible to kick open the door that led to the hospital wing, the same mud stained boots he's been wearing for the past two years, the same mud stained boots I gave him for Christmas after he said how much he wanted them from a local Muggle shop. I could barely hear the stern voice of Madam Promfrey, the head nurse, ordering Sirius to lay me on a cot as she filled her arms with even more medical supplies that she was currently holding.      "How are you feeling Miss Black?" She asked as Sirius laid me down, my blood immediately staining the clean white sheets beneath me.      "Sleepy," I whispered, my eyelids threatening to close.      "No sleep!" She said quickly, using scissors to cut through one of Sirius' old shirts he let me borrow months ago in order to get closer to the damage.      "No sleeping Lia," Sirius whispered, kneeling beside me, taking my hand. Regulus kneeled beside Sirius, placing his own hand on top of Sirius' and mine, "Gotta stay awake for a bit okay?"      "Keep talking Lia, stay awake," Sirius pleaded, squeezing my hand tightly. He looks to Regulus quickly, the gears in his brain turning as he thought of an idea. "Promenons- nous dan les bois," He began to sing lightly, a song he used to sing to Regulus and I if we ever had nightmares as children because our parents never would. It was a silly song in French about a wolf loosing his underpants but it always calmed me down.      Regulus joined in on Sirius' song, singing the next line quietly, "Pendant que le loup n'y est pas,"      They wait for me to sing the next line, repeating the previous verse a few more times as my mind cleared, remembering the words say to me countless times, "Si le loup y etaitt il nous mangerait."      The song continues, my eyes threaten to flutter closed every so often until Sirius squeezes my hand, bringing me back to consciousness as Madam Pomfrey tries to clean and stop the bleeding. Madam Promfrey steps back from the bed and whispers gentle words, making me very calm, and my slurred words turned to quiet whispers and then to silence.      Before Sirius or Regulus could protest, Madam Pomfrey raised her hand to silence them, "It's just a healing spell, it will calm her mind and make her drowsy."      "Is she going to be okay?" Sirius asked, hoping to hear positive news but dreading the words Madam Pomfrey may say.      "She will heal." Madam Pomfrey says, nodding her head.      "And the cuts?" Regulus asks, looking back at me with hopeful eyes.      "They will heal, but the scars will be permanent."

Lonely Stars Chapter Five

Trigger Warnings: swearing, fainting/ blacking out, scarification/ getting the Dark Mark, self harm, mentions of blood, family arguments/ being disowned

Age 16      The Great  Hall was practically empty, almost all the other students had retired to their house common rooms or wherever tickled their fancy after dinner had finished. Regulus was seated with me at the Ravenclaw table, hunched over his Astronomy homework, his face a concentrated frown while I flipped through a book I had recently borrowed from the library.      "I'm getting a tattoo tonight," Regulus says casually, not looking up from his homework.      I look at him in surprise, "Of what?"      He glances up at me and shrugs his shoulder, "It's not really a tattoo I guess,"      "What do you mean?"      "I'm getting the Dark Mark," He says in a hushed tone. "I think you should come with me."      I shift on my chair and close the book I was reading, "I don't know Reg, that basically brands you."      He swallows, his Adams apple bobbing before saying, "I'm getting it, Barty and Lucius are doing it to me."      I nod slowly, "Okay. If that's what you want to do."      He glances back down to the parchment in front of him, "It is." And then we fell back into a comfortable silence.                                                          <>      It was the next morning when an unexpected owl arrived for me carrying an envelope. After I remove the envelope that was tied around the owl's leg I fed it a bite of my breakfast sausage before it flew away. The envelope was addressed to me, with the return address coming from my Mother; my brow furrowed in confusion as I open the letter, wondering why she was possibly writing to me, unless it was a dreaded howler she occasionally sends to Sirius. Aurelia, It has come to your father's and I's attention that Regulus has decided to proudly join Voldemort's revolution and get the Dark Mark on his arm. As we are very proud of him, please send him our love. See you for summer holidays, we will send a driver as usual for you and Regulus. -Walburga Black      I scrunched up the letter as tears welled in my eyes from frustration. If she wanted to send Regulus my parent's love and affection then she should have written him the damned letter, not me. Why could she never be proud of me? It was always about Regulus, the perfect child, the better twin, nothing ever about me and my accomplishments regardless of how hard I tried or how often I strived for their approval.      I look around the Great Hall for Regulus, spotting him leaving breakfast with his friends Lucius Malfoy and Barty Crouch Junior. Shoving my chair back, I grab my bookbag, shoving Mother's letter deep inside and take off after my brother, finally catching up to him and his friends down the hall.      "Reg!" I call, jogging towards him. He turns to me and smiles lightly,      "Aurelia,"      I stand a few feet from him and his friends, who eye me with curiosity, I look down at the floor sheepishly, "I'll do it. I want it."      His forehead creases in confusion, "What?"      I look up at him and spit the words out quickly before I could think about what I was about to do. "I want the Mark."      He takes my arm and pulls me closer to him, causing his friends to also step closer, "Are you sure? I thought you said it was a bad idea."      I shake my head and swallow the lump forming in my throat, "I'm sure. I want it."      Regulus looks quickly at Lucius and Barty who look both surprised and intrigued but then back to me, nodding. "Okay, let's go somewhere more private."      I follow him and his friends down a series of hallways until we stopped in a quiet corridor that looked almost like no one had come down this way in a very long time. Barty pulls out his wand as I roll up my white shirt sleeve to the elbow, Regulus pulls me to the side quickly,      "You're sure about this?" He asks, the same grey eyes we shared filled with concern.      "Just get it over with." I say through gritted teeth.      Barty jerked his head towards Lucius and Regulus, "Hold her down."      I go to sit on the floor, my bookbag discarded across the floor, "It's better if you lie down Lia." Regulus suggests and I do as he says. Regulus places his hands on my shoulders, forcing them flat on the floor as Lucius holds my hand and the crook of my elbow down.      I grit my teeth as Barty asks if I'm ready, I look up at Regulus who gives Barty a quick nod. I knew it was going to hurt but as Barty whispered the quick spell of Mosmordre I felt like my skin was having a hot metal spike burning away a pattern on my inner forearm. I cry out as I feel the skull and snake mark etch itself onto my skin, a dark black mess that made me scream bloody murder.      "Lia it's okay," Regulus tries to say as I fight against his grip, trying to desperately get away from the searing pain. I could barely hear him over the blood rushing through my ears and my screams of pain. My vision is spotted with black stars as Regulus covers my mouth with his hand, silencing my wails.      "Mother sends her love," I mumble around Regulus' hand as I succumb to the darkness that floods my vision.                                                             <>      I wake to angry voices arguing about something I couldn't comprehend. I was lying down, a soft pillow under my head and a green knit blanket covering my body loosely. I blink away the bleariness covering my eyes to see my brothers, Sirius and Regulus, arguing about something, both of their faces screwed up with anger and frustration.      "It's none of your damn business Sirius." Regulus hisses, his hands balling into fists.      "It's my business when I see you carrying our sister who's passed out with a bloody branding on her arm!" Sirius growls back, pointing a finger at me. I whimper, my throat stinging and raw from my previous screams, this caught my brothers attention, Regulus quickly come to my side, kneeling before me.      "You okay Lia? You really scared me," Regulus whispered, brushing back some hair that fell in my face before I could.      "I'm okay," I whisper, glancing down at my arm; the sleeve of my shirt had rolled down slightly, covering most of the deep black marks that was now permanently etched into my skin. I sit up slowly, my body shaking slightly from the sudden movement.      "I can't believe you two." Sirius said harshly, shaking his head.      "Sirius, stop, now's not the time." Regulus hissed, shooting him a look I couldn't see.      "You got a fucking branding Regulus! And you convinced Lia to get one too!" He shakes his head in both disapproval and disgust.      "Sirius-"      "He didn't convince me!" I plead, looking to Sirius with big eyes. "Please understand,"      "Understand?" Sirius exclaims and lets out a laugh. "Understand that both of you just joined a fucking cult? Understand that you're just pawns in a giant game of chess?"      "Please," I whisper.      Sirius shakes his head and looks away, "Unless that Mark disappears, you're both dead to me." With those words he storms out of the Slytherin common room.                                                                <> Regulus      It was late at night, the library illuminated by the soft glow of half burnt out candles that floated nearby. The library was practically empty, only the occasion student sitting at tables hunched over books for classes they were most likely failing anyway. I was walking towards the back of the library, towards the restricted section, hoping to get my hands on another book about the dark arts.      As I walked past the hundreds of bookshelves piled high with endless amounts of books I suddenly hear a small crash and a soft but familiar voice cursing under their breath.      I follow the voice until I find my sister in the Muggle Studies area of the library, a area I hardly ever frequented. She was crouched down, picking up several books she had dropped, her long thick black hair shielding her face.      "Aurelia? What are you doing here so late?" I question, helping her pick up the remainder of her fallen books.      "N-nothing," She stuttered, taking the books back quickly. "Go away."      I take one of the books from her pile, Muggle First Aid: Wound Repair Volume I read the title, I flick my eyes back up to her, her face was paler than usual and she looked scared. She snatches the book back, "It's nothing Reg, don't worry about it."      As she pulls her arms back, I can see red has seeped through her left blue sweater sleeve. Before she can protest or move, I take her wrist in my hand and pull up the sleeve. I nearly gasp from what I saw, a bloody hack job on her forearm, the Dark Mark cut away by what looked like a blade or a razor. The cut was still oozing blood and looked very painful.      "It wouldn't come off," She whispers, her voice cracking, her eyes refusing to meet mine, only staring at her bloody arm.      "Did Sirius make you do this?' I ask quickly, knowing that if my older brother had anything to do with the harm of my sister I would surely kill him.      She shakes her head, her dark curls moving as she did. "I just want him to talk to me Reg, he looks at me like I'm dirt, not his sister."      For a moment I was dumbfounded. Truthfully, I didn't care what Sirius thought of me or if he disapproved of me joining Voldemort. The only reason why I still spoke to him was because of Aurelia, and if she weren't here I doubt we would even have a relationship anymore. I gently roll back down Aurelia's sweater sleeve, careful not to cause anymore damage to her arm and I grab her stack of books.      "Go wait outside, I'll check these out and then we'll get you cleaned up."

Lonely Star Chapter 4

TRIGGER WARNINGS: child abuse, child manipulation, slight mention of blood

Age 15      The dark mahogany table had been replaced with a newer ebony coloured one in the dining room. My Mother had it replaced after she discovered what Sirius had done. Regulus and I were seated at the table in our usual spots, listening to the clicks of Mother's heels against the marble floor get closer to us.      "Where is he?" She demanded, her hands on her hips as she places herself beside Regulus' chair. Both of us remained silent, we knew what she was referring to; Sirius had left, he had packed up all his belongings and disappeared without a second thought.      She slammed her hand against the ebony table, causing me to jump. "One of you must know. Where is Sirius?"      "I don't know," Regulus mutters, voice flat and emotionless, his eyes staring across the dining room to the dull grey paint covering each wall. Mother begins to pace around the table, the clicks of her heels only intensifying her anger more until she finally stops before me. She reaches over to me, caressing my cheek gently, moving my face to look at hers before gripping my jaw tightly,      "You were always closer to him, where has the filthy bloody traitor gone?" She spits out, her grip around my jaw tightens.      "I don't know." I lie, putting on my mask of confusion and innocence. Then with a quick flick of the wrist, and a flash of white, and then there was a searing burning pain across my cheek. My Mother had slapped me and hard. I feel something dribble onto my chin and quickly touch my lip, finding my fingertips lightly coated in blood. Trying my best not to react, I lower my hand and turn my head to the same wall Regulus is still staring at and become numb to the pain in my cheek and my surroundings.      Mother sneered and shook her head, "Pathetic. Both of you. Get out of my sight at once."      Regulus quickly takes my hand in his, doing our signature pinky hold and he leads me from the dining room  and upstairs to his bathroom. Only When he has closed and locked the door behind him do I let out a shaky breath that becomes a small sob. "Sit on the counter." Regulus instructs and I do as he says, hopping onto the bathroom counter.      He removes a small bag from one of the drawers below his sink but before opening it, hands me a tissue to hold to my bleeding lip and quickly wipes away some of my falling tears. He opens the bag to reveal a small collection of basic medical supplies. He takes out a small square of a bacteria removing wipe, gently takes the tissue away from my lip and begins to clean the cut my Mother gave me. I hiss at the sting the wipe makes when it hits my lip and try to pull away but Regulus only shakes his head lightly, silently telling me the sting will only last a few more seconds. He gently daps a clear ointment onto my cut lip which stings but then feels cool against the swollen flesh.      "Thank you Reg," I mumble, trying to be gentle with my swollen lip. Regulus nods and gives me a small sad smile.                                                               <>      I'm sitting on my perch on the stairs again, the same spot I sat when I watched Sirius get punished from being placed in Gryffindor. The burning smell had wafted upstairs and when I went to discover where the smell originated from, I only found my Mother taking match after match to the portrait of Sirius on our family tree.

Lonely Stars Chapter 3

Trigger Warnings: child abuse, homophobia, homophobic slurs, conversion therapy, internalized homophobia

Age 13      The red and black velvet dress I wore was uncomfortable. I missed wearing Sirius' old t-shirts he bought from the Muggle world and soft jeans around the Ravenclaw common room when I wasn't required to wear the black robes. But even the uniformed robes were much more comfortable than this ensemble Mother had insisted I wear to dinner tonight.      I sat at the large dinner table in the dining room. The table was made from such rich and polished mahogany wood that I could practically see my reflection on the surface, and across the table I could see where my brother Sirius had carved his initials onto the beautiful wood much to my Mother's demise. Sirius had not attended this family dinner as he had chosen to spend the beginning of the winter holidays with the Potters instead of us, it stung a small amount that he chose to spend more time with friends rather than his own blood. Beside me sat Regulus as always, his hair had grown to a slightly ragged mullet that he was attempting to grow longer similar to Sirius, we had used almost a full package of bobby pins in order to hide the messiness from our parents. Regulus also shifted uncomfortably, while I know he often wore dress pants and shirts while not in uniform at Hogwarts, he chose to more comfortable materials rather than the stiff bleached cotton he was currently wearing.      To an outsider, this family dinner may have just looked quiet, but in reality you could cut the tension between my family members with a knife. Barely fifty words had been spoken between my parents and I since I had returned home four days ago. While Regulus was given more attention than I, I knew it made him uncomfortable to watch me be ignored or shushed while speaking.      "When is Sirius coming home?" I ask, looking at both my Mother and Father who sit at the head of the table but on opposite sides. My Father sighed and placed his fork and knife down on his plate before looking up at me, he wiped the corners of his mouth with the blood red cloth napkin he had.      "Sirius will be returning tomorrow morning. We will be sending a driver to collect him as usual Aurelia."      "He will be here just in time for the Christmas banquet." My Mother piped up, looking at me.      The majority of the meal was ate in silence, with the quiet squeal of a knife running along the china plates or the tiny clinks of the dishes as they were cleared and another course of food replaced the empty dishes.      "Regulus, your Mother tells me that you may try out for Quidditch in the fall? Is this correct son?" Father inquires, looking at Regulus with interest. Regulus clears his throat after taking a sip of his water and looks at our Father and nods, "Yes, I'm thinking of trying out for Seeker," He smiles as he speaks, a gleam in his pale grey eyes.      "Well you did always have a eye for things Regulus," My Mother smiles, raising her cup of red wine towards him in admiration.      "And very good grades from what we hear from your professors!" Father boasted, a smile now on his face. Regulus was smiling with pride, until he saw my face with a fake smile on it. I try to be happy for my brother, I'm very happy with his accomplishments, but it would be nice to get the same encouragement from my parents that he got.      "You should ask Lia about her semester, I heard it was very interesting," Regulus smiled, trying to focus the conversation on me instead of him.      "Aurelia, how was your semester?" My Mother asks, her voice had less enthusiasm than when she was speaking to Regulus.      "I've been learning about undetectable poisons in Potions. I like my Potions partner, she's very good," I smiled, thinking about my Potions partner and hoping she was enjoying her winter holiday.      "Nice Slytherin girl?" My Mother inquired, hoping I was choosing to interact as closely to Slytherins as possible.      "She's in Hufflepuff actually, she made this joke that I could've poisoned her at any time and she wouldn't even know. She has beautiful brown eyes and her voice is so-"      I was cut off by the clanging of my Father's silverware hitting the china plate and by the look on his face, he was not impressed. He placed his elbows on the table, his hands folding into a fist, his eyebrows were raised and his mouth slanted down into a disapproving frown,      "Are you a dyke?" He snarled, spitting out the words like venom. My stomach dropped and I could feel my heart begin to speed up.      "I- um," I stuttered, taken aback by my Father's choice of words and question. Below the table I could feel Regulus taking my pinky in his and giving it a light squeeze, he was here for me no matter the answer I gave my Father.      "Well?" My Father's voice boomed, the word echoing around the large room. "Is my daughter a dyke?"      I stammered to an answer, I honestly had never thought about my sexuality in depth before, I had heard my brothers talk about girls that they found attractive, or maybe it was mostly Sirius talking and Regulus just nodding along. But I also couldn't remember if Sirius used the words "she" and "her" while speaking of his newest crush. "No Sir. I'm- I'm not a dyke." My voice faltered and I could tell my Father didn't believe me.      "First a blood traitor like her brother and now a fucking dyke." My Father spat, shaking his head in disapproval. I lowered my gaze to the polished table, watching a single tear fall down my cheek in the reflection. Regulus gave my hand a squeeze, causing me to look at him give me a small nod that my parents didn't notice.      "Aurelia, we will discuss this after dinner." My Mother said, her voice clear but stern. "Do you understand me?"      I gave a small nod, keeping my gaze down, "Yes ma'am I understand."                                                               <>      The dishes had been cleared away by the House Elves and now it was my Mother and I alone in the dining room. Father had led Regulus away to discuss try outs in autumn for Quidditch, Regulus quickly looked at me before leaving the room and gave me another quick nod, everything would be okay, it was just a discussion after all.      "Did your Father's comment upset you Aurelia?" My Mother questioned, rising from her seat and coming closer to me. I raised my head and gave a small nod, her heels clicked against the marble floor as she got closer to me. Sirius had once called that sound "The Clicks of Doom", and it wasn't until this day that I truly understood the meaning behind that name.      She took my hand and pulled me up from my seat, her boney fingers tilting my chin up to look her in the eye. Her face was stern, her mouth tilted downward into a slight frown, one of her perfectly manicured eyebrows slightly raised, "Do you have feelings for this Hufflepuff girl?"      "I don't know Mother, I haven't thought about it." I whispered, she hummed at my answer. She circled me, looking at me up and down.      "Aurelia, you are a daughter of the Noble Black family, do you understand what that means?" I chose to stay silent, fearing if I were to say the wrong answer she was looking for. "That means that we have a reputation to uphold. And your little behaviors do not suit the Black family name."      I nod slowly, "Yes Mother. I understand, I'll try better."      She retreated to where she was standing behind me, I could hear the rustle of fabric moving and a quick murmur of the word Imperio and then suddenly I felt calm and very at ease, I wasn't nervous about my family's tainted reputation anymore. "You will not have romantic feelings for women anymore Aurelia."                                                                <>      The red wine I was holding was staring to warm. I stood near the wall of the banquet hall, trying to avoid speaking to anyone unless I absolutely had to, Regulus had said he would try to distract people from me, which was abnormal considering normally he would agree to steer conversations to topics I enjoyed, but tonight I was thankful as I wasn't in the mood to act a certain way.      I glance over to the large clock mounted on the wall, Sirius was supposed to arrive this morning but the sun had set and was no where to be seen. Maybe he had decided to spend more time with the Potters instead, but even if he had decided to do that he could've at least sent an owl or picked up the phone. I sigh and take a sip of the wine I was holding, it was bitter and warm, not for my taste.            Across the banquet hall Regulus was speaking about his plans for after Hogwarts graduation, I don't know if what he said was true or if it was just to please the ears his words were spilling onto. I notice a tall blonde haired girl walk across the floor, her turquoise dress trailing behind her, the fabric hugged her curves beautifully, her long hair cascaded down her shoulders in soft waves that framed her heart shaped face perfectly. I was so entranced by this girl that I hardly noticed when a arm was draped over my own shoulder.

     "Hello little sister," A cheerful voice sung and I looked up to see the face of my brother Sirius standing beside me.      "Sirius," I breathed, so happy that he was finally here. I hugged him tightly, not wanting to let go. Sirius was a buffer between me and the disappointment or shame my parents felt about me. He made me focus on other things than their shame, like new Muggle music he had discovered or his new fascination with motorbikes.      He smirked as he took the wine glass from my hand and took a big swing, but quickly made a face of disgust after swallowing. "Merlin, Mother has shit taste in wine."      "Shit taste in banquets too," I smiled as Sirius chuckled. "Where were you? You were supposed to be here this morning,"      "Ah well, I was ready to come home this morning and waiting patiently all day for the driver that Mother and Father conveniently 'forgot' to send. So the Potters drove me after I let them convince me not to hitchhike all the way home." I hummed at his story, Sirius and his dramatics never failed to make me smile.         We stood silently for a few minutes like this, his arm wrapped around my shoulders and me just being content around his presence.      "So, as I am your eldest and best brother," Sirius smirked. "I must do my brotherly duties and ask about you,"      "Oh Sirius, don't start." I smiled but let him continue.      "How are you doing, how's your grades, James, Remus and Peter send their love." He smiles as he spoke.      "I send all my love back,"      "Speaking of love," He smirked, drawing out the word love to which I rolled my eyes. "Got your eyes on anyone special these days? Any boys? Or any girls- I don't judge."      Suddenly, I was repulsed, taking a step away from Sirius, "That's disgusting. I could never do something so vile or wrong." I snarl at him, my eyes narrowing as I became angry.      But Sirius only tilted his head and raised an eyebrow, "And is that why you were eyeing that lovely lady over there? Because it's disgusting? Because I think you find her attractive."      I bit my lip, "I could never do something so damaging to the Black name." My words taste like poison in my mouth.      His eyebrow was still raised, "You couldn't or is it because someone said you couldn't?"      My breath falters as I ponder his question. The girl was beautiful just like I thought she was, and like how Sirius mentioned, but when I thought that there was something inside of my body that twisted and felt sick. "I think she's beaut-" Suddenly something in my stomach gave me a sharp pain and I couldn't even finish my sentence without feeling as if I were about to vomit. I felt Sirius' warm hand on my back and I quickly look at my Mother who was chatting to old friends, hanging onto my Father like a lifeline.      "Did they do something to you Lia?" Sirius asks quietly with a hushed voice.      "I- I like girrrr- gir-" The pain in my stomach was back, making me dizzy. "But I- I can't do it or I will be a disappointment."      Sirius closed his eyes for a moment, sighing through his nose before wrapping his arm around my shoulder again and pulling me close. "It's okay, don't force it. I understand. I'm right here Lia."