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rnelisdogan · 11 months

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i am already fairly depressed and i know it won’t get any better if not worse until NEXT SUMMER when i can finally go home again :(

#and the worst part is #my life is great!#i got a new job #my boyfriend bought an apartment #we have a car #i get to work in my dream field #so why am i so goddamn sad

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daisywords · 7 months

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One of my biggest nitpicks in fiction concerns the feeding of babies. Mothers dying during/shortly after childbirth or the baby being separated form the mother shortly after birth is pretty common in fiction. It is/was also common enough in real life, which is why I think a lot of writers/readers don't think too hard about this. however. Historically, the only reason the vast majority of babies survived being separated from their mother was because there was at least one other woman around to breastfeed them. Before modern formula, yes, people did use other substitutes, but they were rarely, if ever, nutritionally sufficient.

Newborns can't eat adult food. They can't really survive on animal milk. If your story takes place in a world before/without formula, a baby separated from its mother is going to either be nursed by someone else, or starve.

It doesn't have to be a huge plot point, but idk at least don't explicitly describe the situation as excluding the possibility of a wetnurse. "The father or the great grandmother or the neighbor man or the older sibling took and raised the baby completely alone in a cave for a year." Nope. That baby is dead I'm sorry. "The baby was kidnapped shortly after birth by a wizard and hidden away in a secret tower" um quick question was the wizard lactating? "The mother refused to see or touch her child after birth so the baby was left to the care of the ailing grandfather" the grandfather who made the necessary arrangements with women in the neighborhood, right? right? OR THAT GREAT OFFENDER "A newborn baby was left on the doorstep and they brought it in and took care of it no issues" What Are You Going to Feed That Baby. Hello?

Like. It's not impossible, but arrangements are going to have to be made. There are some logistics.

#idk what to tag this #worldbuilding #writing fiction #historical fiction #fantasy #a real-life example: my dad (a pediatrician) was once entrusted with the care of a baby who was born with a rare condition #this was in a place without great hospital/medical access and anyway they were going to fly the baby over #and he specifically asked them to bring the mother and baby #they show up with baby and...the baby's uncle #and he was like. y'all. do you think I asked for the mom to come just for fun??? We don't have formula here. what is the baby going to eat?

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batbabydamian · 8 months

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Damian adjusting to his new hairstyle in B&R 2023

#bruce wayne #damian wayne #batbabyart #every time my hair grows over my eyes i suffer #Damian going majority of his life without hair at his eyes to suddenly this fringe?? a hassle #he's wearing Nika's coffin hairclip in the second image #hairclips are great!!

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andthebeanstalk · 1 year

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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foreverrryourssss · 5 months

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2024

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milkhorns · 3 months

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Quality bro time 🌱💅

#hello guys i am back with dreamworks trolls HCS WOOOOOOO #isnt life great #floyd moves in after band together #and hes very happy to have a subject he can scene-ify #this is the only person aside from poppy branch will let do something like this #he idolizes his older brother still!!#they remind me of me and my siblings fr #myart #fanart #trolls #trolls band together #floyd trolls #trolls branch #branch trolls

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buttersteps · 11 months

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ayo edebiri: the movie reviewer we deserve

and her dad also has an account

#why did i only find this out via twitter what have i been doing with my life i could have spent the pandemic going through her letterboxd #she is so funny #but some of her takes are also incisive and poignant #what a great read #ayo edebiri #the bear fx #inception #pride and prejudice #etc #films #film review #jeremy allen white #movies

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cerealdog · 5 months

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Gem and the scotts vs the Mounders + scar finale

#secret life smp #slsmp #goodtimeswithscar #pearlescentmoon #smajor1995 #bdoubleo100 #impulsesv #smallishbeans #geminitay #gem and the scotts #the mounders #i hate the composition actually #but it was too late #and i wanted to get it done #anyways great ending #loved both teams #my art

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egophiliac · 5 months

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like mother, like son, but less wholesome this time?

(I couldn't decide whether or not to put them together, so have them in all the different ways!)

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers #if i had a nickel for every time a draconia ob'd while trying to save lilia #and had to be taken out by a member of this one specific bloodline with sparkly celestial hair that a fairy blessed #et cetera and so on you know the rest #i mean we know it's going to end better this time but y'know. the parallels!#oh meleanor my beloved #of course...of course she ob'd...it makes sense...#everything about this whole situation just massively sucked for everyone huh #well at least silver's biodad felt guilty about killing her i guess #i dunno i'm just havin' some feelings about all of this #lilia had both the absolute worst and absolute best things about his life come out of all this #down the two great loves of his life and also his job and reputation and 200 years of his life and uhhhh kind of everything else honestly #up some kids though!#(also one of those kids is a baby dragon who is JUST the right size to put silly hats on)#they were worth it to him! or maybe they were worth not giving up? look i am DEEP in the blorbosauce right now #if you don't want to read emotional tags about lilia twistedwonderland then don't come to egophiliac.tumblr.com

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beybuniki · 10 months

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love language

#i dont feel like doing the rest and i think these 3 look great together so :)#i think normal healthy toya aus are boring as hell but what if 16yo came back and killed endeavor and he was still traumatized and weird #but at home :) everyone's weird older brother who gradually gets better aoughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #anyway #bnha #mha #todoroki toya #dabi #todoroki fuyumi #todoroki natsuo #todoroki shoto #takami keigo #hawks #<- inserting him everywhere like my life depends on it

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monty-glasses-roxy · 7 months

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HALLOWEEN GAME TIME!!! WE'RE GOING TRICK OR TREATING!!!

ON THE DAY OF HALLOWEEN ask me or anyone else that's reblogged this, "trick or treat" and you shall recieve a random thing in your trick or treater bucket! What thing?

THAT'S UP TO WHO'S BLOG DOOR YOU'RE KNOCKING ON!!

A little doodle of their blorbo? An incorrect quote? A drawing of a little cat? A fun fact about bees? A little drabble (100 words I mean but do as you will) for a random thing? A photo of their pet dog? A headcanon? A fic recommendation? A random meme? An OC? A link to their current favourite song? A nice, virtual slap in the face? A trick? A treat? WHO KNOWS!!! NOT YOU OR ME THAT'S FOR SURE!!! (Just no screamers or shit like that of course lets not forget that lmao)

Why am I saying this now instead of on the day of the game? So anyone else that wants to play has plenty of time to prepare a little handful of things for the trick or treaters!!

Remember, it doesn't have to be anything big!!! You can be the blog that's giving everyone images of rotisserrie chicken you found on google, or you can be the blog that's giving everyone pictures of your cat if you want!! This is a low spoons and low stress game so do whatever you want to do that's easy for you!! Be a mix of everything or just give a 'hi!' it doesn't matter, it's all in good fun!! And we can trick or treat each other too, of course. Not as fun if you can't get any tricks or treats too, right? Anyone can trick or treat and anyone can be trick or treated!

I recommend making/queueing a post on the day so everyone knows you're playing btw (anyone that reblogs this post will get one off me too if they don't say otherwise in tags and if I remember I said this)

FOR TRICK OR TREATERS!!!

All you gotta do is send an ask with 'trick or treat' in it on Halloween! Halloween day!! 31st of October!! Day of spooky!! That's it!! (And if you go on anon no one will know if you come back again but I didn't tell you that lmao) I'll be answering any I get when it's Halloween in my timezone and I'm sure I won't be the only one so if you ask earlier, hang tight! It's probably not Halloween yet or they don't have time just yet cause it's a Tuesday! I believe that's everything so...

Have fun guys!!

#halloween game #yeah I know this is the kind of thing that circles every year btw #but I can't for the life of me remember anyone actually doing it :(#so here's a game!!#I will try my damn best to do it so stay tuned for that!!!#I'll make a little mix of things to share it'll be fun!#plenty of time to build up a little collection of low spoons stuff I think #honestly a great way to get myself back into things probably #we'll see!

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whatsanameanyway · 3 months

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DDVAU grian in a miku wing binder doodle

(DDVAU by the amazing and incredible @xmaruu11 and @kitsuneisi , idea from maruus stream today. lots of fun thank you)

#desert duo vigilante au #grian #hatsune miku ???#my art #i dont. know what im doing with my life #bdw ddvau is great GO check it out if you somehow havent already woo

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tsukinoshinjiu · 2 months

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A little something I did over on twitter :)

#my art #artwork #digital art #artists on tumblr #art #legend of zelda #zelda #daruk #sidon #totk spoilers #link #princess ruto #revali #ravio #great fairy #color wheel challenge #it took me a lot longer than i expected #but thats life aint it

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ryssbelle · 3 months

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Had a silly dream where JD and Floyd came back to the troll tree before the last trollstice but after singing killed their grandma and decided to doodle and expand upon it a bit

Clay never left the tree but was too scared to return to the families pod since he didn’t want things to go back to how they were before, he did try to find his brothers during the escape but got separated by the cave in.

John Dory was the one to find Clay and see him get caught by the cave in, when he came out of the tunnel without Clay and holding his wristband they all just assumed he was dead. Even so JD still searches for Clay with the hope that he might’ve escaped and is alive out there.

They know Bruce is alive but after JD got the post card he assumed Bruce didn’t want to be found

Some more doodles that kind of show their dynamic