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earlgreydream · 3 years

Text

memory.

| Steve Rogers x reader | angst |

anon requested. the reader loses their memory and like the love interest suffers because they never remember them

“Steve, she was in an accident,” Bucky stopped Steve before he could burst into your hospital room, where Shuri and Dr. Banner were tending to you.

“Let me in, let me see Y/N!” Steve shouted.

“You can, but there was a head injury. Y/N hasn’t woken up yet. You just need to be prepared, Steve,” Bucky spoke gently, holding his best friend back.

Steve’s panic only heightened, and Bucky followed him into the hospital room. Shuri moved out of the way, standing to the side with Banner.

Steve felt like he was going to fall apart at the sight of you. You laid in the bed, looking pathetic and weak. You were badly bruised and scraped, and there was a gash on the side of your head. Bucky hung back in the doorway, hurting for the both of you, the two people closest to him in his life.

“Steve-” Shuri started, but Banner stopped her.

“Y/N, baby,” Steve breathed, running up to you. You jerked back, pain throbbing through your entire body at the sudden movement. A monitor started beeping, indicating that your heart was racing.

“Baby, it’s okay,” Steve tried to calm you down, shocked by your startled reaction to him.

“Get away from me!” You cried, and Steve stepped back like he was wounded.

“Y/N...?”

“I don’t, I don’t know you!” You started to sob, frightened by the large man that you didn’t recognize. Banner sighed, and Shuri and Bucky went to Steve, pulling him away.

“Steve, she hit her head. She’s having memory loss,” Shuri explained quietly.

“But, I’m her husband-”

“I know.”

“When will her memory come back?” Steve demanded, shaken and in disbelief.

“We don’t know. Steve, you need to understand that it may not come back.” Shuri tried to be gentle, but Steve sank into Bucky, the weight of her words nearly making him collapse.

“Breathe, Steve.”

Steve sat beside your hospital bed. You had slipped into unconsciousness, sedated by Banner to help you heal. Steve had stayed out of your room after the frightened reaction, but he needed to be close. The sun had set, and he was spending the night in your room, holding your hand as you slept. Tears stained Steve’s face, devastated by the fact you didn’t recognize him, your injuries, and seeing you in the hospital.

He sat up when your eyes opened, and he couldn’t make himself release your hand. You looked a little confused, and very sleepy. They had been careful to give you plenty of sedation to keep you from having another panic attack. Your heartbeat was weak, and you had a bad concussion. That was on top of a sprained wrist, several fractured ribs, and the numerous bruises, cuts, and scrapes.

“Y/N,” Steve breathed softly, and you blinked slowly.

“Are you a doctor?” you mumbled, rubbing your eyes with your free hand.

“No, baby, I’m your husband,” Steve whispered.

You froze and stared at him, stunned. You looked down at your hands, surprised to see a ring on your left hand. The silver band had tiny diamonds, and Steve’s hand that held yours had another silver band. Hot tears started to slide down your cheeks, overwhelmed by the thoughts racing through your sedated mind.

“I don’t remember you, I don’t even remember your name... The doctor showed me a picture of us, but I don’t remember anything, I barely even remember who I am,” you sobbed, and Steve felt nauseated.

“I’m Steve, Steve Rogers. We got married two years ago, in Brooklyn. Bucky Barnes was my best man, and Wanda Maximoff was your maid of honor. Tony Stark walked you down the aisle... He’s like your dad...” Steve explained, his voice shaking as he tried to keep himself from crying.

“Bucky...” you murmured, squeezing your eyes shut. His name sounded familiar, but every memory before waking up in the hospital was gone.

“Yes. Bucky is my best friend. Yours too. We’re really close, he lived with us for a year.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t...”

“It’s okay. All your memory isn’t going to come back now.”

“Steve, Y/N needs to rest,” Shuri spoke, leaning in the doorway.

He nodded tightly, rubbing his eyes. She emptied more sedative into your IV, helping you slip back into dreamless sleep. She dragged Steve out, and Bucky stood in the hallway, pulling him into his arms. He squeezed Steve, promising it was going to be okay.

Steve sat with you, chatting quietly when you were awake. He showed you photos from your wedding, and pictures of your small tabby cat that you adored. Bucky snuck her into the hospital, and you pet her head shyly, hating yourself for your lack of memory.

“Steve?” you asked, sitting up in the bed, but struggling under the weakness of your muscles.

“Yes, baby?” he set down his laptop, giving you his full attention the moment he asked.

“You said that Tony Stark walked me down the aisle at our wedding? And that he’s like my dad?” You asked, and Steve felt his heart sink.

“Yeah, Tony is like your dad,” he said dryly, showing you a photo.

“I think that I remember growing up in a penthouse with him... but only when I was a teenager. I think, I don’t know for sure. Why?” you struggled to recall.

Over the last few days, bits and pieces started to return to your mind, and you remembered cooking in a sleek penthouse with Tony when you couldn’t have been older than 17.

“Yeah. Stark adopted you when you were ten. Your parents were in a car accident. He was really close with your father. You love Tony, he took really great care of you. He wants to come see you once we’re home from the hospital.”

You nodded slowly, taking it in. You didn’t know how to express the pain and confusion you felt, and you shyly reached your hand out to Steve. He took it, gently squeezing.

“Steve, I’m so sorry. I want to remember...”

“Don’t apologize, my love.”

Steve had assured you a million times that he could take you to Tony’s, or that he could even rent you an apartment if you didn’t feel comfortable coming home with him. Your memory had barely returned, despite little pieces and isolated moments.

Truly, you were terrified to be alone, because then, you were left with nothing, not even memories. You felt safe with Steve, even if you didn’t remember your history together. He’d stayed up with you, showing you photos and telling you stories, and patiently answering every question you asked.

Steve drove you to your brownstone on the Upper East Side, carrying you indoors. Bucky was waiting, having moved back in to help and be supportive. The flat smelled like homemade bread, welcoming you inside. Steve mouthed a thank-you to Bucky, who nodded silently.

You convinced Steve to let you down so you could walk and look around.

“Can I have some of the bread?” you asked, shyly setting your hand on Bucky’s arm.

“Yes, of course, Y/N.”

You sat down, trying not to act like you were exhausted just from walking around the flat. Steve knew, and it seemed that Bucky did too. You may not have known them, but they knew you.

“I’m so sorry,” Steve said softly, and he kissed your head gently.

You had hoped that coming home would jog your memory, but nothing came. It felt like the first time you’d ever been, and you started crying as you sat between the men.

“The only thing I can remember is going to high school prom with both of you... I don’t remember anything before or anything after, I’m so sorry,” you sobbed, and Steve pulled you into his arms, his own shoulders shaking. Bucky gently laid his hand on your back, trying to comfort you.

You felt lost, Steve nearly as much. There was nothing he could do, nothing either of you could do.

#earl grey steve #steve rogers #captain america #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x reader angst #steve rogers x reader fluff #captain america x reader #captain america x reader angst #captain america x reader fluff #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers angst #bucky barnes #avengers #avengers au #marvel #marvel au #shuri

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mysticalrambling · 3 years

Text

Love Eventually Wins (A.B) Part 2

(Part 1)

Andy Barber Fanfiction (Fanfiction Master List)

Warnings: Angst but eventual fluff.

Summary: dad! Andy Barber x female reader. You juggle in the hospital between your dad and your son. You haven't forgiven Andy for what he said to you but you guys talk it out in the end and it's all eventual fluff.

._._._._.

“Dad, you are going to be fine. We are all going to wait for you after the surgery.” Gently kissing your father on your head, you held back your tears because you didn’t want him to back down from his decision. You just prayed to God that this operation would be successful because you had already lost your mother to a car accident when you were four, so it was just you, Julie and your dad. You could not afford to lose another family member and you wanted Gabriel to know his grandfather when he grows up.

“Okay, sweetie. Will see you after.” He looked so pale and sickly just lying on that uncomfortable hospital bed. Silently kissing him on the forehead, the nurses took him away to the operation theatre.

When you got out of the room, your little sister immediately took you in a bone crushing hug and started sobbing uncontrollably. “It’s all going to be okay, Julie.” You tried to console her but there wasn’t much you could say to convince her when you yourself were worried.

After about half an hour, you finally got her to quiet down and then went to check up on your son in the pediatric ward. The receptionist pointed you towards a NICU ward that kept babies from the age of six months to two years and you didn’t know why he was admitted in to the hospital so you internally freaked out on the way there.

“Hi. The doctor said that Gabriel had some kind of stomach infection so they will have him on IV drips and antibiotics for two days.” Andy explained it to you as soon as you entered the room and went to your son’s crib. He was in the crib in a small hospital gown and God, you hated this sight. Touching his forehead, you realised that his temperature was higher than when it was at home.

“His fever is way too high right now.” Looking at your husband, you felt so helpless because your father and your son were sick and you didn’t know what to do.

“The doc said that it will return back to normal in no time.” Andy was observing you from the moment you entered the hospital room. Puffy eyes, rosy cheeks and a tear stained face was a completely new look for you. He wanted to be there for you but he knew that you had still not forgiven him. It was not easy to forget the things that he said, even if he didn’t mean it.

“Oh okay. I am just going to sit here with him.”

“I will bring you some coffee because you haven’t eaten since morning.”

“Non-”

“Non filtered, without sugar. I know.” He lightly kissed you on the forehead but was slightly hurt when you didn’t give him a smile like you always did. He could feel a wall separating the two of you and the only thing that he wants is to tear that wall down. Why could he not keep his mouth shut and let you talk? Everything would have been alright then.

“Hey, baby. I need you to be fine really fast, okay. Mommy needs you to get through all of this and I love you so much.” Gripping on to his little hand, you gently rest your head against the crib. The nurse came after sometime and you asked her is she could stay with Gabriel for sometime. Everything was too much for you and you just needed to vent it all out in private.

“Hi. Where is my wife?”

“She said she needed some fresh air.”

“Okay, I am just leaving the coffee here. You are going to stay with him, right?”

You were just looking at the stars and remembering the time when you spent countless college nights with Andy on the rooftop, just staring at the stars. It quickly became your thing and now you were sitting here all alone. A few tears escaped you when you remembered all the things that your husband said. It was still too much to comprehend.

“Please, don’t cry. I am truly sorry for all the things that I said.” Sitting next to you on the bench, he didn’t have the power to look you in the eyes. He was too embarrassed. It was his job to let no harm come to you but now he was the one who is causing the harm. He just wanted someone to beat the crap out of him and punish him for making you feel unworthy.

“I know you said that you didn’t mean a word of it but I know that’s not true. I know you better than you know yourself.” You looked at him from under your eyelashes and saw a look of realisation cross his face. Andy thought that he could just hide it from you because of all the things that you have been going through. He sometimes did forget that if he could easily read you then you could do the same.

“So the district attorney has been telling me that I am not doing my job properly because I am a family man now. I am too distracted on my job and the last case, the witness didn’t show up and Jacqueline just laid it out on me. She even gave my next big case to Carter and I just lost it on you. I am so sorry.”

Tears welled up in his eyes when he realised how innocent you were in this whole situation and he had no right to make you feel so bad about yourself. He didn’t dare move his face away from the stars and you knew the guilt was eating him up inside.

“Hey, look at me.” Gently placing your hands on his bearded face, you made him look at you. “I was being genuine when I said that you can take a break from us. I won’t mind.”

“No, I don’t. It was all said out in anger and you don’t know how sorry I am. Please don’t think like that because you are my whole world.” His heart was tearing up in pieces and you were the only one who could fix it.

“Okay but what about Jacqueline then?”

“I will take care of her. She can not just assume that I would be the same Andy after having my own family to look out for. You don’t worry about anything.”

“Okay.” Kissing him under the stars was your favorite pass time and you wouldn’t change it for the world. “Let’s go check up on our baby right now.”

“No, you go to your sister because your dad is going to be out of surgery in sometime and you should be with her. I will check on Gabriel and then come to you.”

“Let’s check on Gabe together because I won’t stop worrying until then. God, I just want this day to end already.” Hand in hand, you got up from the bench and went to meet your son.

Gabriel was slightly waking up by the time you entered his room and you immediately went to pick him up. Keeping in mind to not touch his iv drip, you cradled him to your chest. Your heart ached for your baby boy because he was always the one to cause trouble and never sit still in one place. “Mommy, hurts.” A whimper escaped him and he clutched on to your shirt with his tiny fists.

“It’s going to be okay.” He looked so small in your arms and you were barely holding yourself together because you didn’t want your son to cry after seeing you.

“Give him to me.” Andy carefully took him from you and tried rocking him back to sleep. By now, he was full on crying and trying to take his bandage off. Your husband took Gabriel’s hand in his hold but the kid did not quiet down for one second. You tried to give him his lion pacifier and he just turned his head the other way round. The doctor came in when he heard the commotion and quickly inserted some sedatives in to his IV drips.

He told you both that Gabriel would be alright in a few days and he will stay with him so that you both can go check up on your father. Gabriel was going to sleep for some hours so it was okay for you guys to stay with your dad until then.

“The doctor said that the surgery went well and we can see him after they transfer him to ICU.” Your sister filled you in as soon as she saw you both walking down the corridor. Ecstatic, you hugged Andy tightly and believed for the first time in all night that everything is going to be okay.

“I love you.” You whispered affectionately in to his ears.

“I love you too.” Kissing you softly, he tried to express his love with his actions.

Hope you guys enjoyed it!!

._._._._.

A/N: Here's part 2. I loved watching Defending Jacob so I came up with this plot. Andy Barber has my whole heart and I hope you guys liked it. Tell me what you think and message me if you want to be added to the tag list.

Like, comment and reblog.

Tag list: @kalopsia-flaneur, @fantasywriter104, @justile

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moved-danganronpamess · 4 years

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sjskjsk, hi!! ive had this idea for a while, so can i request a platonic child!reader with Gundham, Kazuichi, Kyoko, and Sayaka? Like the reader is around the age of 10 or so, and somehow got into Hope's Peak Academy and is very clingy? Thanks so much ♡

(i kinda evil laughed at this request, which I don't do often. But the things you can do with this idea) AMAZING!!!!

This is such a cute idea, my blossom!

Thank you very much for requesting and don't forget to take care of yourself and stay hydrated!!! - mod Chiaki

Gundham, Kazuichi, Kyoko and Sayaka reaction to child! reader being a student at Hope's Peak Academy

Gundham :

♡ As surprised as you when you see him

♡ You with your small form, him and his Devas and a scarf when it was clearly hot outside

♡ "Who is this fiend?"

♡ What is a child doing here? Is it a student? Is it just his foolish imagination? Are you someone's kid??? He doesn't know and he isn't sure if he wants to know

♡ "Who are you calling a 'fiend?'" You retorted back.

♡ Probably won't spend as much time with you as you would want, but he still kinda thinks you're quite admirable

♡ You got to this school and you also seem smart despite your age, will never say it out loud though

♡ But he won't mind if you hang onto his leg really tightly and walk around with him everywhere

♡ "Your strength has always been admirable, mortal. Touching the skin of Tanaka the Forbidden One comes with a price," would melt when you smile up at him because you think it's a compliment.

♡ Will let you play with his Dark Devas and cuddle with them

♡ He thinks it's really cute

♡ If he and Sonia are going on a trip or something, he's taking you with them

♡ So you end up looking like a nice family

♡ "Look, look! Aren't those animals cute?" You pointed at them as you looked back at Gundham and Sonia with a grin.

♡ "Ah, you're right! They're beautiful," Sonia grinned as she held your hand tightly, beaming down at you.

♡ Afterwards, will go on more trips with you

♡ Will not, I repeat, will not let Kazuichi get closer to you

♡ He thinks he would have a bad influence on you and your pure aura

♡ He likes to teach you about animals and loves how you can keep up with his speaking habits

♡ When you know each other quite a bit better and he's really comfortable with you, he'll let you sit on his shoulders (of course, being mindful to the Devas) and let you play with them and his hair

♡ He will carry you like that all day, every day if you want to

♡ "Your power is flowing through me, little one," he said with a small smile.

♡ He looks like husband material and like he's your father, so expect people stopping him on the street and telling him that he has a cute child ♡

Kazuichi :

♡ shocked baby

♡ "How did a kid get in here?"

♡ slowburn on how to be a good big brother

♡ Would be kind of curious how did you get through the security and would also think that you maybe got lost

♡ "Are you lost?" He kneeled down to your level with a grin on his face, surely thinking that this is a piece of cake.

♡ "I'm not lost, I go to this school."

♡ Wouldn't believe it, he wouldn't believe it at all

♡ He's the person who'll cause a ruckus and get the attention of a teacher who explains to him that in fact you're a student here and in fact you're his new classmate

♡ Wouldn't know how to talk to you so he would spend most of his time running around and trying to get Sonia to notice him

♡ But if you came one day to him and decided to help him with fixing something, he would be so happy and excited to teach you

♡ Would also love to share lunches with you and spend time with you

♡ He would as well complain about a lot of things

♡ "I just don't understand why Miss Sonia spends so much time with him!"

♡ "Cheer up, Kazu! You have your good points as well!" You spoke up from beside him, casually eating your sandwich.

♡ Yes, sometimes you'll have to encourage this man-child

♡ Won't mind if you hold his hand at all times, because he is really fond of you and sees you as a younger sibling

♡ Will play with you even if the others tease him about it too much

♡ "Really? You're playing with them? Aren't you just acting like a pedophile?" Hiyoko taunted him.

♡ "No, I'm not!"

♡ Will sacrifice everything for you so if you need help with something and he has a chance to be with Sonia as well, he won't know who to pick, but he adores you so he will help you

♡ He will let you watch him while he's fixing or making something, it makes his confidence rise higher

♡ "I want to play something," you whined out from beside him.

♡ "Really? Now? But I have to fix this!"

♡ He wonders if parents have it this hard with children, because sometimes he's feeling like he will die

♡ But he appreciates you nonetheless and will spend time with you, also will become as clingy as you

♡ So you're like two peas in a pod ♡

Kyoko :

♡ She isn't interested that much??

♡ Like she was a little curious why you were there, but having you as a classmate won't really bother her

♡ She won't even try to socialize or get to know you like her other classmates

♡ But will surely be surprised when you take a liking to her and follow her around the school

♡ At first, she'll try to lose you to the best of her abilities, but it doesn't work

♡ Because you caught up to her and held her hand really tightly

♡ "Why are you running away? Do you hate me?" You muttered out on the verge of tears.

♡ Naturally, Kyoko doesn't know how to react because she herself didn't have the best childhood. But she still tries

♡ "I don't hate you," she answered, nothing less nothing more. But would feel her walls come down a little when you cheered up after hearing that.

♡ You will follow her around, holding onto her hand

♡ Won't let you come and solve a case with her, as much as she doesn't mind dead bodies she doesn't want you to see one

♡ So she will give you to Makoto to be a babysitter, he won't mind, he'll just be surprised at first

♡ If you cry hard enough and don't let go of her leg, she will take you in her arms and take you to the crime scene

♡ Solving the crimes with you in her arms

♡ If it's especially gruesome she will ask you to not look and hide your face in her neck and hair

♡ "Turn around," she patted your head as you turned your head away from the scene.

♡ Won't mind teaching you stuff and helping you with anything

♡ She's a bit stoic and a little rough around the edges, but she loves your affection

♡ Won't let anyone bully you

♡ She has such a soft spot for you ♡

Sayaka :

♡ Kind of surprised when she sees you, but also thinks you're cute from the get go

♡ "Where are your parents?" She kneeled down to your eye-level with a kind smile.

♡ "I don't need my parents here," you told her, only to confuse her.

♡ But she quickly understood that you were her new classmate and she would take almost immediate liking to you

♡ Would be the easiest to get close to out of the four

♡ She would play a lot of games with you and talk to you a lot

♡ She will sing to you at all times, especially when she sees you smile because of how well she sings

♡ Won't mind if you're clingy and want to hold hands all the time

♡ She will hold your hand even before you can reach out your hand and she will walk around like that with you

♡ Most probably babies you and cooks for you when she has the time

♡ Will teach you her choreographies and will literally combust from your cuteness if she sees you trying to imitate her moves

♡ Will also love it when you come with the rest of her classmates to her concerts

♡ She will meet you in the backstage and hug you really tightly

♡ "What do you think? It was fun, wasn't it?" She would grin when she saw your smile.

♡ Sayaka won't hesitate to protect you and will be nicknamed as your mother

♡ Will take you on a lot of trips with her and won't mind showing you to her idol band

♡ When her fans see you with her on multiple occasions, she won't mind (as long as you and your parents agree) taking a few photos and uploading them on her social site

♡ But she will protect you and do anything for you to not get caught any backslash

♡ She completely adores you ♡

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ad1thi · 4 years

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If your still doing fic recs, could u rec any soft stevetony ones?

absolutely!! this got pretty long so ive hidden most of it under a read-more so i don’t annoy people. a couple of authors feature more than once. ive tried to avoid that as much as possible, but if an author features more than once - take that as a sign that they have rly good stuff for soft stevetony

disclaimer: don’t forget to leave kudos and comments for every author!! (a disclaimer i regrettably forgot to add to previous fic rec lists but will be adding from now on)

soda pops: @starklysteve

If anybody asks, Steve would smile and say it was very romantic. Very Tony. Because if he went into any further detail, nobody would quite believe him.

Tony, on the other hand, would laugh and say that Steve’s in love with a man in a can. So, really, it wasn’t outside the natural progression of things.

me voy pa’l pueblo: @firebrands

two times steve walks away, and one time that tony walks with him.

/ or, my very fluffy take on my bingo card prompt "farewells." steve is on vacation when he meets tony.

fill for my stony bingo prompt: farewells; also for bookworminaslump on tumblr who asked for a tourist/knowledgeable local au!

Tumblr Ficlets: @omg-just-peachy (this is 115 chapters of stevetony being soft!!)

A collection of enough tooth-rotting fluff to last a year, all in one place.

tender offerings: @omg-just-peachy

Five times Steve carried Tony to bed.

the best thing (is that it’s happening to you and me): @captainstarkreportingforduty

Or, five times the team saw Steve Rogers and Tony Stark in love.

Sweet On You: @miniblackraven

It’s the 1940’s and Tony is working as a Donut Doll for the Red Cross. His job is to go around to various military bases and offer comfort food and conversation to homesick soldiers. He’s come to expect a lot of things in this job, but he doesn’t expect to fall in love with Captain America, the hottest most awkward soldier Tony has ever met.

Bespectacled Avengers Society (Membership of One): @baffledkingcomposinghallelujah

Tony gets glasses. Glasses get a Tony. Steve loses his mind and walks into walls.

a flower crown for your love: @anthonyed

"There, there," Pepper cooed. "Tony likes flowers?" she said with a shred of doubt in her tone. But when Steve peered up, she's smiling her bright toothy smile. He squinted and she sighed, dropping her hand from his shoulder. "He does." she insisted. "Even more so than me."

if this was a movie: @omg-just-peachy

“One of our seniors is being generous with his time this year—by force of his own actions, but generous none the less—and he’d be happy to help you, I’m sure. Tony Stark? I’ll set something up for later this week. I think between the two of you you’ll be able to pull your average up enough to make it through to playoffs,” Coulson said, with that ever-hopeful lilt in his voice.

Or, Steve needs a calculus tutor, Tony is available, but how is Steve ever supposed to focus when he's been in love with Tony for ... his entire school life?

you take me higher than the rest (everybody else is second best): @firebrands

tumblr fill for adi & anthonydarling, who asked for "'Prank' war, but the kind to see who can make the other blush the most in public" from this prompt list

amore mio: @brucewaynery

Tony has had it with Steve being dumb and reckless out in the field, he has a family to think about now, Steve promises him that he'll be with him, kingdom come.

(initially based on that one headcanon about Italian Tony yelling and gesticulating at Steve but Peter thinks he's doing some weird dance and tries to copy him, but it got very fluffy very quickly)

Lost My Mind in a Coffee Shop: @betheflame

“Boyo,” Bucky muttered to his best friend. “I swear to God that if you don’t ask that man for his number soon, I will create a Grindr profile for you and you will not like it.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “I am here to finish grading, not hit on men.”

“Can you not do both?” Natasha smirked. “Nearly tenured, historical genius, feels like something you should be able to multitask.”

&&&

In which Steve is a history professor and Tony's an engineering one and Bucky owns the joint where they have their meet cute.

AU-gust Chapter 7: @iam93percentstardust

stevetony, childhood friends AU

Right Up The Road: @gottalovev

The day at the senate committee in Washington DC wasn't supposed to end with Tony and Steve transformed into animals by a baby witch. That said, the 350 miles trek back to the compound to get help promises to be quite an adventure too!

(or the adventures of Cat!Tony and Wolf!Steve - and how to readjust when you're back to human!)

i’ll take care of you: @elcorhamletlive

“Hi.”

Steve blinks. The sound of loud thunder roars outside, but he doesn’t jolt, too focused on the image in front of him to be startled by the noise.

He has no idea what to say, and he isn’t sure if the shock is because of Tony’s absolutely sodden state – his hair glued to his forehead, his clothes dripping with water, forming a small puddle in front of Steve’s door – or because he wasn’t expecting to see Tony for at least three more days.

“Hi?” he says, a little tentative, before his brain catches up to reality. In his defense, he was getting ready to sleep when Tony knocked. He looks at what Tony is holding – a wet mess that seems to have been a flower bouquet at some point. “What are you doing here?”

The Tally System: @betheflame

Everyone on the team knew about the tally system.

Whenever Steve would save Tony - whether from a monster or from his own stupidity - he’d say, “tag”. Whenever Tony do the same, he’d say, “your turn”. Thor thought it was adorable, Clint thought it was ridiculous, Bruce refused to register an opinion.

Natasha thought it was something she could work with.

what’s mine is yours: @robertdowneyjjr

5 times Tony stole Steve’s clothes, and 1 time Steve returned the favor.

For a billionaire, Tony Stark really doesn't pay for a lot of what he wears.

I like Shiny Things But I’d Marry You With Paper Rings: @betheflame

Rhodey: I just confirmed with Sam that he’s going to make sure he cooks tonight and that his entire team is briefed. I’m heading over now to strategically arrange a fuck ton of ficus trees to block them from gen pop.

Pepper: They’re not getting engaged in a prison, Jimmy.

Rhodey: Tony Stark and Steve Rogers show up to Circe on a Saturday night in May and you watch every person in that restaurant turn into someone I’d rather arrest than eat with.

****

In which Tony and Steve get engaged, but they're kind of extra about it, because they are always themselves

the road to the stars: @shell-heads

Tony is seven years old when he sees the ballet for the first time and meets his future pas de deux partner.

His father is invited to sweet-talk politicians into a new weapons deal and explain his latest idea for their program, and his mom goes to catch up with old friends she hasn't seen in years, but Tony goes because his mom had smiled down at him and told him he would love it.

His mom's never wrong.

In which boy genius Tony Stark meets girl wonder Natasha Romanoff at the ballet, and they fit their broken little pieces together to make something beautiful on the dance floor.

Steve? He's just a dumb, awful, chaotic, extremely supportive older brother that really should just shut up and admit he likes Tony a lot more than he pretends, because Natasha only has five people in the world she likes; it only makes sense her two favorites would fall in love with one another.

They always were a little slow, though.

A Second Chance To Take it Slow: @omg-just-peachy

Tony loves his adopted son, Peter, but that doesn't stop him from wishing he had someone to do this whole parenting thing with. After a failed one night stand, Tony's parent-teacher conference with Mr. Rogers comes with quite the surprise.

Wake Up!: @randomstufffromotherblogs

Tony came home from a business trip and is woken up by his husband and their three-year old.

pull me closer to love: @captainstakreportingforduty (part of a series)

“A Mother’s Day card? For... Tony?” Steve clarifies, and can’t help the smile on his face as six familiar little heads nod in response.

“But... guys, Tony’s not—“ he pauses and takes a breath, any explanation dying in his throat against the excited gleam in everyone’s eyes. “Why do you guys want to do that, hmm?"

compromises: @robertpattisons (when i looked up OP on tumblr, this is the blog i was directed to - but i sincerely apologise if ive gotten it wrong)

Steve should have expected it, he really should have.

There were regulations that came with dating Tony Stark. Things that were clear and things that they needed to work through.

Things like how Steve always got strawberry ice cream, while Tony got rocky road. Or when Steve needed to get his homework done before he was down to make out - even though Tony always got his way.

Things like that were clear

all that you are is all that i’ll ever need: @natasharxmanov

Tony Stark and Steve Rogers announced their engagement on Good Morning America through Tony Stark’s previous secretary now CEO, Pepper Potts. And over this past weekend, I got the chance to sit down with them both, to visit their home and attend their gala, all to write this article about the most powerful couple in the world.

(Or, the fic in which Tony and Steve get married.)

(i won’t ever) trade my mistakes: @brucewaynery

Toddler Peter, painting a masterpiece with his dad.

aka: a dumb amount of family fluff to help you power through the week

#adi's rec list #stevetony #superhusbands #steve rogers/tony stark #steve rogers x tony stark #steve x tony #i did this instead of my exam #so i rly hope you enjoy it anon!!#there's a healthy amount of superfamily thrown in here #so apologies if that isn't your thing #anon ask #adi answers asks

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disaster-fruit · 3 years

Note

could you tell us more about the brarg family au with the 3 babies and trans luci?

I definitely can! This au has been living rent free in my head since i started that drawing and I was actually sketching more stuff for the AU right before I got this ask so- I definitely can ramble more about it

This was supposed to be just a collection of a few hcs and now it’s a multi-pages word document the size of a fanfic so – Im really sorry.

I didn’t think a lot about their backstories tbh, though I have it in my mind that Luciano transition in his late teens and that he and martin either met after that or knew each other before luciano came out, lost all contact, and then met again after (and you can blame oxiosas fic for that yeah im not even subtle)

But I imagine them having some sort of meet cute and kinda progressing really fast in their relationship without realizing – yk, its just a fling, no big deal, yeah ive met his parents, yes I basically spend every weekend in his apartment, yeah I have a spare key now, ops I guess we’re adopting dogs and plants together- oh I think we’re married. Yeah. We’re married.

Ok but for real Luci does the proper proposal-with-a-ring-and-knelt-down-on-a-special-day thing and Martin is just bright red saying yes over and over again

It is Afonso (port) the first to be all WHERE ARE MY GRANDCHILDREN like… the night of their wedding.

They live in a house in a not too big city with two dogs, one cat, one parrot and all the birds that Luciano feeds and names that aren’t actually theirs. Still, they choose the house with two spare rooms because they always talked about having two kids.

In this AU they can buy a nice house and don’t have to worry about money and can raise kids like the world isn’t ending.

I think right after they got married they got in line for adoption. However, everything indicated that it would take a long long time so they started talking about the possibility of trying to have a biological kid. I think luci was the one to suggest it when he noticed martin had been thinking about it but not saying anything for a while.

Lots of boring doctor visits and confused doctors looking at luciano and trying to process it like the dumb cishets they are. Boring exams and all that, but everything is on track eventually, luci pauses his hrt and keeps his jockstrap on the drawer and they’re googling the best positions for fertility on those weird cishet sites and doing it like bunnies etc etc

Getting pregnant the natural way after years of testosterone is not the easiest thing in the world, so it takes a while. But eventually it works.

Both of them are kinda freaking out with this whole first pregnancy thing. Martin is the ultimate protective husband, and spends way too much time on the internet finding out what luciano can and can’t eat, what exercises he should do, and going to every single doctor visit. He’s very committed to it.

Luciano has to drink non-alcoholic beer and hates life. There’s a single teardrop shed every time he buys it. And drinks a lot of lemonade like it’s the same as caipirinha. Poor guy. Martin doesn’t help on that, life isn’t fair, he buys his own beer.

But he also has to drive absurd lengths to find the weirdest fruit or make the most hideous, blasphemous pizza toppings because Luciano is constantly craving absurd shit. But poor baby actually really NEEDS that chicken M&M pizza at 8am.

They’re super proud daddies though, and both their instagrams at this point are just baby belly pictures. Luci had top surgery on this au on my hc so also. Lots of shirtless pics. He looks like an old uncle with a beer belly and he’s PROUD. Just. Baby bellies all over.

Martin picks the entire baby layette. Because of course he does.

Their baby shower is a huge deal though. Their dads are there, Antonio brings an entire trunk filled with diapers and tells everyone how many tincho used to need when he was a baby, Afonso is cooking for everyone and talking about how he’s gonna be a grandfather (!!!). Iracema (pindorama) is scolding Luci about his bad habits while also quietly being a super proud grandma. Zola (angola) bought toys because she knows that’s what kids actually like, Samero (Mozão) keeps asking if they installed all the necessary security stuff in their house – we will, chill, we still have some months to go – Vera (Tomé) is teasing Simão (Timor) about him no longer being the family baby, Fatima (g.bissau) is another one who bought a huge amount of diapers, Rosinha (cabo verde) is taking pictures of everyone and everything, Sebas and Dani are discussing if the kid should speak Portuguese or Spanish, Maria brought a huge pink plushy as a gift, it’s quite a party.

Once they’re late in the pregnancy, Luciano mostly spends his time on Martin’s oversized t-shirts asking for foot rubs and not getting much sleep because the baby keeps moving. Martin on the other hand is a little nervous about being a dad, but absolutely loves feeling the little kicks and talking to the baby all the time, except when its 3am and he wants to sleep but Luci cant because of it so he just does his best to keep him company. He mostly ends up falling asleep on his chest though and doesn’t help much

I wrote all of this but I still don’t have a name for the girl lol Anyway, she’s finally born, and if martin was overprotective when Luciano was pregnant, he’s ten times more with his baby girl. Tbh theyre both kinda going crazy with this whole parenting thing, both are overprotective, tired, and have no idea what theyre doing.

Zola and Sebastian are the girl’s godparents. Sebastian isn’t very good with kids so when he takes care of his niece he either puts on a tv show and lets her eat whatever crap she wants, or relies on Daniel to do the actual taking care, since he is good with kids.

Luciano and Martin are very much neurotic first-timers and have all this schedule of what their girl can eat and when and when she has to sleep etc etc.

When Zola takes care of her, she just ignores it and does it her way. She helped raised Luci since he was a baby anyway, he survived just fine and even married and reproduced, she knows what to do better than both the dumbasses, and they never even find out.

Afonso on the other had follows everything when he’s with his granddaughter, determined to be a better grandfather than he was a father, and the baby loves him so he’s doing a good job.

They’re a very cute family yes yes

She grows up well and happy, a bit shy maybe but very smart and sweet, loves the dogs and her aunts and uncles and granddads (afonso more than antonio though)

By the way, Iracema is soft like butter with her granddaughter.

When she’s about four or five years old they start talking about having a second one, considering the age difference and all. So back to doctors, Luci stops the hrt again and they go back to trying, but again it’s not the easiest thing in the world to do it naturally after years of hrt.

But god listens to the prayers of such good catholic family, and right after they start thinking about a second child, they receive the news they will finally get to adopt a baby.

Luciano is the one to receive the news, he’s working at home when the social worker comes to tell him they can finally adopt. He’s extremely happy, he hugs the poor lady and is barely able to concentrate as she explains the paperwork that is left and the details of it because he can’t stop smiling.

He immediately texts martin saying something like “CALL ME RIGHT NOW WE NEED TO TALK” and it’s in happy caps but martin understands it wrong and thinks someone is dying or dead but then his phone is what dies so he gets home as fast as he can thinking all the worst scenarios just to find luciano jumping on him with a smile for ear to ear. It’s such a shock he takes a while to react but when he does you have two idiots so happy they can’t function.

It’s another girl, she has big brown eyes like her sister and it’s a few months old.

They quickly reassemble the crib and paint the second room to get everything ready in time to take her home, and the next week or so it’s nothing but all the family visiting to meet their new baby.

Since they managed to adopt, they decided to stop trying to have another kid. Luciano goes back to the doctor do some routine exams so that he can go back to testosterone and the doctor just awkwardly explains that, well, that won’t be exactly possible. Not for the next eight months, at least.

He’s quite shocked at that, and takes him a while to tell martin. They just got a new baby and do they even have space to raise three kids? Eventually it just escapes from him and martin is shocked as well, but ultimately both of them are just worried about their place being too small, and once they relax about that they can’t shut up about having another baby on the way to anyone.

Still, it’s not easy to manage, martin is just as worried as he was with their eldest, except that this time he’s simultaneously worried about their new baby and about Luci’s pregnancy. Poor dude needs a break asap. So he’s trying to do most of the work of caring for a little baby to spare luciano from the stress, while also taking care of him as well as he did the other time.

Luci is more chill about being pregnant, he’s done this before, he’s fine. He’s even a little too chill about it, as shown in the art, he still wants to carry their kid on his shoulder and having a few sips of martin’s beer is no big deal and honestly he’s fine, he can help with the baby, and Tincho just needs to relax and it will all be fine.

Again, poor tincho needs a break.

Some things don’t change though. Them being super proud daddies who do nothing but take pictures of their kids and Luci’s belly every chance they get. And they’re really happy and excited to have their house full and this big family.

Just a good cute family AU where nothing bad ever happens thank you very much. Yet it took me almost 2k words to say it. I have no self control and I’m very sorry. However, if anyone has their own hcs to add about this whole au, I will be more than happy to hear and talk about this AU even more than I’ve already done.

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adiwriting · 4 years

Text

Fic: Domesticity pt. 5

Fandom: Roswell New Mexico

Pairing: Malex (Michael Guerin/Alex Manes)

Notes: The next handful of prompts are going to be short but all domestic, so I’m putting them in the same little unnamed verse.

Prompt: Hospital Visits

—-

“Why does the nurse think you’re my husband?” Alex asks when Michael steps through the door.

Michael takes him in and Alex can see the stress leave his shoulders as he sighs deeply.

“They weren’t going to let me see you,” he says, moving to take a seat at the chair by his bed.

“So you told them we’re married?” Alex teases. He doesn’t mind one bit. He’d have done the same thing.

Michael just shrugs. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he says, reaching out with the hand that wasn’t hooked up to an IV. Michael grabs his hand and holds onto it tightly. Alex can tell that he’s trying his best not to let it show, but he’s a ball of anxious energy. He’d known that Michael was going to worry when he left that voicemail for him letting him know he was in the hospital. If it wasn’t for the fact that he’d already texted Kyle about his scans, who was sure to tell Michael, Alex would have just waited to tell him until he was discharged.

“It was a training exercise gone wrong. I’m good,” he tries to assure him.

Michael scoffs. “This is a bit more than a training exercise gone wrong. You were shot.”

Alex rolls his eyes. “I was shot with a rubber bullet.”

“A rubber bullet that did real damage,” Michael argues. “Is this some residual Manes men bullshit?”

“Don’t,” Alex grumbles. “I’ve been shot with real bullets before. This is nothing.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Michael looks him up and down carefully. “When the hell were you shot?”

“Through the shin. First tour,” he says with a shrug. “It was before I lost my leg, so… they took that story when they took that leg.”

“You never told me.”

“Yeah well, we weren’t exactly having heart to hearts whenever I would come back now were we?”

“Only because you never wanted to talk,” Michael says.

“What was I supposed to say? War sucks? It’s not like you ever asked.”

Michael is quiet for a while and Alex goes back over his words, trying to figure out if he’d crossed a line. He’s been working on being more intentional with his words. He’s never been the world’s best communicator, but he’s getting better.

“I guess I never really wanted to know,” Michael finally says.

“I don’t blame you,” Alex assures him. “Your life was a mess. We were both burying serious pain in each other. Neither of us were up for more than the sex marathons we got whenever I came home.”

Michael shakes his head. “That’s not us anymore.”

“No, it’s not.”

Michael smiles at him and Alex’s whole body feels warm. Growing up, he never imagined it was possible to feel this much love. But Michael made him feel like this regularly, without even trying.

“So you’ll tell me what happened?”

“Some cocky ass punk thought he was above listening to orders and ended up accidentally shooting me,” he explains.

“What’s his name?”

“Why? So you can melt his brain with your mind?”

Michael looks at him as if to say, ‘well yeah.’

“He’s in enough shit. And even if he wasn’t, I’d hate to be that poor kid when the rest of the cadets realize who’s replacing me. They thought I was tough, but I’m a fucking cupcake compared to Harrison.”

“I’d pay good money to see you boss those kids around.”

“Oh, no… that wouldn't be good for either of us,” Alex says, tugging on Michael’s hand until he moves from the chair to sit on the edge of his bed. He’d been too far away.

“Why?”

“Because I know how turned on you get when I give orders.” Alex moves his hand to Michael’s thigh, but Michael moves it with a stern look.

So he probably wasn’t going to be successful in convincing Michael to attempt a blow job in the bathroom. It’s unfortunate. Alex hates hospitals. He’d spent too much time in them when he’d lost his leg. He was hoping by Michael showing up, that meant he would have a good distraction.

“Please you think that’s gonna shatter anyone’s precious perception of us? Anyone that knows us could tell you that I’m the bottom here.”

Alex can’t really argue with that. Nor would he want to.

“You’re so good at it, too.”

Michael laughs. “I’m not having sex with you in a hosital.”

Alex pouts, but when Michael doesn’t budge he just rolls his eyes. It had been worth a shot.

“When are they letting you out of here?”

“They’re keeping me overnight to monitor the bleeding and make sure I don’t need surgery then I think they’ll let me go home.”

“Surgery?” Michael’s entire body stiffens.

“They’re being overly cautious. I already sent Kyle pictures of my chart and he says I’m probably fine.”

“Probably,” Michael scoffs.

Rather than try to convince Michael that none of this is a big deal, Alex deflects.

“You’re distracting me.”

“From what?” Michael asks, disbelievingly.

“You know that you’re going to have to actually propose and have a wedding, right? You can’t just start calling me your husband and assume that’s all it takes.”

“You want a wedding.” Michael gives him a look and… it’s fair. Alex most certainly does not want a wedding. He hates attention. He’d much rather just sign the certificate at the justice of the peace and call it a day.

“No,” Alex says. “But Isobel will kill you if you don’t have one. And it definitely would have pissed off my dad to have one so I guess it wouldn’t be so bad.”

“Wouldn’t be so bad. God, you’re such a romantic,” Michael teases.

“I’m sorry, were you expecting flowers? Because the most romantic thing you’ve ever done is change my oil for free.”

“I may not line the bed with rose petals on your birthday, but I’m a poet of words.”

Alex freezes at that phrase and instantly wants to kill Maria.

“A poet of words?” he tries to play it off like he has no idea where Michael came up with that.

“Yeah. Did you or did you not call me that to Maria? You said I made you all weak in the knees when I told you I never looked away?”

Alex blushes at that and Michael gives him that cocky smile of his.

“I was drunk. And Maria never should have told you that.”

“You told her that while I was still dating her,” Michael says. “And you never get drunk. You knew exactly what you were doing. Don’t pretend you’re surprised she told me that like it wasn’t your plan all along.”

Alex shrugs.

“So you admit it?”

“What do you want me to say? I’m trained to win wars.”

Michael rolls his eyes half heartedly. “You’re such an asshole. I didn’t get laid that night because of you.”

“Again, I’m not seeing how my plan was faulty,” Alex says with a hearty laugh.

“I knew you were taking me dating her too well,” Michael says. “Should have known you were secretly plotting away.”

“I didn’t intend for her to actually tell you that,” he says in his defense. “And I was cool with you two. Truly. Well, after the initial shock wore off. I just… was having a petty moment and she kept talking about us like it was only ever some high school crush. It was stupid and imature. I’m sorry.”

“It wasn’t stupid.”

“No?”

Michael shakes his head, but his body language tells him that there’s something he’s not saying.

“Out with it, Guerin.”

“I might have accidentally left pictures of us at the library when Forest was there.”

Alex snorts. “I thought you didn’t get jealous.”

“I said that so you would think I was a better person than I am,” Michael says. “Did you really think seeing you with him didn’t affect me?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Alex says, grabbing his shirt and pulling him close enough to kiss. “Cause I’m with you now.”

“Thank god for that.”

—-

more Domesticity

#Roswell nm #roswell new mexico #malex #Malex fic #michael guerin #alex manes #Fic: Domesticity #hurt/comfort #kind of #Alex is in the hospital at least #though Michael is the one that needs calming

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agoodgoddamnshot · 4 years

Text

Maelstrom - Hannibal/Will [Alpha/Omega (G)]

Twitter Prompt: A/O!Verse & Baby!Graham-Lecter

The silence is deafening. Out in the halls, he can pick out muffled conversations and announcements echoed overhead. They pulse against his ears. Hospital ward sounds that fade into the background as he strains to hear Will. The screams cut deeper than any knife ever will. Every lash across his skin dug deeper and deeper with every fumbled step he was dragged away.

He fought. Of course he did. No sane Alpha would ever part with their mate, unless something, or someone, interfered.

The metal and plastic and rubber sitting in his mouth are almost suffocating. The scent of it alone, mixed with the sting of disinfectant in the halls, coats the roof of his mouth and turns his nose. The harness digs into his skin and his teeth gnaw against the bit.

His hands are free; trembling and fidgeting with everything but the harness’ buckle sitting at the back of his head. Some small sliver of logic whispers to him that it’s just for a moment, for the safety of others, and the safety of his mate while they work on him.

And the logic cowers as whatever primal, vocal part of his being snarls and stalks. Whatever that sane part of him can whisper against the shell of his ear, it will always be chased away by the same part of him that sends him into ruts and leaves his reason at the door.

So he paces, and listens. All the while his jaw flexes against the bit caught between his teeth and a harness keeping his mouth shut.

He’s away from his mate.

And his mate is in distress.

And the silence stretching out over him is too much—

“Doctor Lecter?”

His pacing falters. He reels around, looking to one of the many doors that stand between him and Will’s side. A nurse steps through the door, a hand clasped tightly around the handle, ready to pull it shut if the alpha inside the room lashes out. A security team is probably waiting outside in the hall, ready to intervene again if needs be.

That logical, sane part of him rears its head. Settle.

The nurse squares her shoulders. A brave woman, facing down a distressed Alpha separated from his labouring mate. Then again, she probably can’t smell the scents souring the air inside the room.

“Your husband is ready to see you,” she says, a small smile ghosting her lips. She takes a step inside. Brave woman, not only facing down an enraged Alpha, but a hunter. A maelstrom of thought swirls around; plans to hunt those who kept him from Will, other assurances that what he’s feeling is just hormones, and that Will is fine because of those said people—

The nurse lifts her hands, gesturing to the muzzle holding his jaw shut. “I can take it off of you now,” she explains, “just as long as you agree that your walk from here to your husband’s room is a peaceful one.”

There’s definitely a team waiting outside in the hall. Hannibal’s ears twitch at the sound of people shuffling around outside. Their footfalls are too heavy to belong to scrub-clad nurses and doctors.

Maroon eyes regard the nurse for a moment – a colour made all the more deeper by the swirling emotions and hormones flooding him. It started the very moment when he surfaced, his nose wrinkling at a change in scent. He’s known Will long enough to know what he smells like, no matter what state he’s in. The usual scent changed; it soured and twinged with something that had sleep washing off of him as he nudged his mate awake.

It was time.

Hannibal’s jaw flexes. He eventually nods.

The nurse is slow with her movements, not unlike approaching a wild animal. And maybe, at one point during their evolution, that might have been the case. No matter how many generations pass through the aeons, something primal will always remain. And he’s gone much of his life ignoring it, pushing it to the side because it was a great inconvenience.

Then Will broke down those walls and let his feral nature loose, engulfing the both of them.

A low growl clambers up his throat when the nurse slips behind him. His hands clench into fists by his side at her fingers deftly unlatching the buckle. At the slightest hint of give from the muzzle, Hannibal reaches up. The nurse backs off as he wrenches the godforsaken thing off, clamping down on the urge to fling it across the room and charge for his mate.

He shifts his jaw, letting the ache slowly work its way out. The harness sits heavily in his hand. The rubber bit is imprinted with teeth marks, impressions left behind from just wanting to gnaw at something to take the edge off. Every primal, deep-set part of him screamed to claw and bite and roar. Maybe all those aeons ago, held up in a cave somewhere, when it would have been just the two of them, he could have fought off wayward intruders.

But nowadays, he understands the measures taken by hospitals to keep their staff alive and in one piece. They had the same thing in John Hopkins. Sometimes the Alphas of families hearing unfortunate news turned feral.

He turns to the nurse, a small courteous smile ghosting his lips. “Thank you,” he rumbles. His voice will be changed, altered to be a pitch recognisable by their baby. And the thought of it has his blood beginning to curdle again. He wants to see them. And Will.

The nurse lifts her chin. “Come with me,” she says, already leading them out of the room.

He winces at the sharp, bright light out in the hall. The noise is almost too much; staff and visitors chattering among themselves, the distant cry of other labouring women and omegas. He catches the inside of his cheek between his teeth. Will.

They can’t weave through the halls quick enough. It’s a typical labour ward – painted dust pastels and with overtly friendly and calm-speaking midwives and nurses who drift between rooms. A few of them glance at the alpha being escorted by one of their own, and a small army of security guards trailing behind them. But no one looks surprised. Or even bothered. The speed in which guards flooded Will’s room and clamped his alpha’s jaw shut to stop him from lashing out only tells him that this is a regular occurrence.

At the sight of Will’s room door, his heart leaps to his throat. He has to stop himself from rushing past the nurse and bursting in himself.

The nurse stops just outside of the room, peering in the opened door and greeting who Hannibal can only presume to be a colleague. She gives a firm nod to whoever is inside before turning back to him. “Alright, you can go in.” The silent threat lingers. But behave, or we’ll take you away again.

The second he steps into the room, his hackles fall. A familiar scent twinged with sweetness coats the roof of his mouth and settles on his tongue. He takes a breath of it, letting it bloom through him like sunlight warming a room.

A gentle thrill calls for him. Hannibal’s eyes dart to the bed. Amid machines and monitors and IV stands is his mate, propped up against pillows, guarding a white bundle against his chest. Hannibal’s feet carry him over. He practically falls into Will’s side, a gentle rumble rattling out of his throat to mix with his mate’s own sounds. A nurse and midwife still remain in the room, strategically keeping themselves as far away from the mated pair and their new pup as they can. Eventually, they leave the room with muffled footfalls and the softest of clicks when the door shuts behind them.

A tired, worn-out smile tugs the corners of Will’s lips. “What was all of that about, doctor?” a light huff of a laugh slips out of him. A tiny whelp escapes the bundle in his arms; one snapping Will’s attention back, earning a small thrill out of his throat.

Hannibal hums, utterly lost of where to look. “I may have let instincts get the better of me. I apologise, darling.” His gaze eventually settles on the small, clenched fist that wiggles free of the bundle of blankets. One of Will’s hands, pinned with a cannula, gently pries the blanket away. A small, red face peers out. Still wincing at being hauled from a quiet, safe place into a world such as this; but Hannibal’s breath catches in his throat at how rounded their cheeks are, their pursed lips and squinting eyes. Even the faintest of sand-coloured wisps dusting the crown of their head.

He’s aware of Will’s eyes on him, blearily watching him for anything to slip through that impenetrable wall he shields himself with. But the omega knows all too well that he’s chipped enough of those bricks years ago to have that wall crumbling and cascading down. A new pup is the last blow, sending dust and debris to the wind. He swallows against the lump trying to lodge in his throat.

Will’s smile only grows when their pup reaches out and nabs one of his fingers. They’re so small, barely wrapping around his fingertip. “A girl,” he whispers, suddenly mindful of the quiet that has fallen over the room. Monitors whirl and beep occasionally, but it’s a world different to when they arrived. Pain wracking through Will’s body as labour moved on without him. Growls, snarls, shouts flung down the hall. It was chaos. Will brings the pup closer to his chest, letting her forehead rest against his bare skin.

Hannibal watches, perched by the side of Will’s bed. He looks beautiful; bleary-eyed with shadows clinging to the hollows of his face, sweat-coated curls sticking to his forehead. A show of strength and resilience to bring their child into this world, by himself. Hannibal’s stomach sours at the thought of not being there. The first cry to pierce through the room should have graced his ears too. He should have been there to soothe and gentle and encourage. Those who kept him away rattle through his mind. Faint glances at nametags and a general knowledge of how hospitals and their rotas work—

“Hannibal.”

The Alpha glances to his mate. Any ounce of tiredness that plagued his mate is gone. Or at least, pushed behind hardened blue eyes. Will lifts his chin, challenging. “Don’t blame yourself or others,” he says firmly, the words almost slurring together in a growl.

“Forgive me, my darling,” he dusts a kiss to Will’s temple. “I am only now coming out of the storm.”

Will hums, letting his head fall forward and rest against Hannibal’s. The air sweetens with plumes of Will’s scent drifting around. His usual smell is intoxicating. When he can, Hannibal sets his noise to the join of Will’s neck and shoulder, or to the hollow of his throat. Most nights, curled around each other and sweat beading along skin, Hannibal can’t sleep unless his lungs are full of his mate’s scent.

And it’s all the more sweeter now that a pup is here. She’s a tiny thing, swallowed completely in a swaddling blanket and gentled against Will’s chest. Tired, cut-off whines slip out from between her lips; calls matched by her mother cooing back, gentling, assuring her that she’s safe and they’re here for her.

There’s an unspoken agreement between the two of them. It wasn’t ideal, the pup’s birth. It had been challenging from the moment Will caught the change in his scent. Mornings spent curled around a toilet bowl, gagging at every dairy product under the sun. Swollen ankles and sore feet that found a permanent home on Hannibal’s lap, with the Alpha’s fingers dutifully coaxing out every tense and painful muscle.

But instincts are instincts, and this is their first pup. Their first. Whether any more appear, that will be up to Will. Hannibal didn’t think he could have any, being the age he is. And Will isn’t that free from concern either; a body littered with scars and worn out from illness. But here is a pup, healthy and squirming and scowling at the sheer noise of the world and trying to burrow her way into her mother’s chest to escape it all.

“I don’t want to see any of those nurses or midwives on our table,” Will rumbles, just teetering on the edge of slipping asleep, “do you understand?”

A small huff of a laugh escapes Hannibal. He makes a noise in the back of his throat. “Understood.”

The explanation sits between them. The people who brought him away are the same ones that brought their child into the world; the same people who made sure that Will weathered labour and birth and came out of it unscathed. And despite scenting the tang of blood in the air, his mate’s heart still thumps steadily in his chest, and his eyes are as quick as ever.

Something does linger on the tip of his tongue, peering out between his lips. A mother’s eye looks down at their pup, finally settling in for a short rest as she gets her bearings on the world.

Hannibal purrs. A gentle encouragement. They’re alone now and as soon as Will’s body is able, they’ll slip away with their pup and go back to hiding. But for now, it’s just the two of them. And thorned words and death wishes can be aired. The corner of Will’s lip twitches. “If you’re desperate for a hunt,” he murmurs, dusting his fingertip on the button of their daughter’s nose, “if you want to bring a feast to our table to welcome her into the world, there was a matron who came in to see what all the fuss was about.”

Hannibal’s purr vibrates through the air. While he can be cruel and violent in his own right, Will is even more so. And he suspects being a mother will only hone that urge to snarl and draw blood. The doctor hums. “Oh?”

Something wicked flashes in Will’s eyes. “Alphas have no place in a labour ward; especially ones that cannot control themselves.” He doesn’t distort his voice, knowing that the pup in his arms might just cry at his own normal soothe slipping away.

A low rumbling growl claws up Hannibal’s throat. He manages to catch it behind his teeth, but Will’s shoulders shake in a tired laugh. He nudges his nose against his Alpha’s. “I’ll be out of action for a while,” he lulls, “because your daughter saw fit to not enter this world without a fight.” Will’s lips part, a flash of fangs catches Hannibal’s eye. They’re close, but not close enough to catch Hannibal’s lip as he leans forward for a kiss. Will nudges him back, just so. A wounded sort of noise crawls up Hannibal’s throat. “Will you hunt for me, husband? For our daughter?”

He’ll line their table with whatever they need. Their home, wherever it may be, will be flooded with food and gold and warmth. A deep-set primal urge coils tightly in his stomach. One that sets his blood ablaze and has his throat rumbling. Will has a talent for igniting his blood, careful with plying with just the right words and glances.

The world outside their room, outside this hospital bed, all seems to slip away. Hannibal’s throat bobs. “I will give you everything and more, my love.” He glances down at their pup, nestled in Will's arms. Reaching out, he lets the pup nab and hold on to his finger. Warmth blooms through him. He swallows through a lump in his throat. "Both of you."

#hannigram #hannibal/will #hannibal x will #hannibal lecter #will graham #mads mikkelsen #hugh dancy #hannibal #hannibal nbc #nbc hannibal

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allforhader · 4 years

Text

Dream a Little Dream of Me

Bill Hader x (F) Reader

Requested By: @designersophisticate

Warnings: Langauge

[ e/c : eye color]

Having those second thoughts after years of a commitment you thought was going to last until you’re buried six feet under...yeah. As much as that is dark. I never thought I’d feel this way about someone again.

“Hey, Y/N did you see that TMZ article?”

“Kristen the fact that you’re saying TMZ, I’m already disinterested”

“Well yeah. But if it’s about you, shouldn’t you read it?”

“What’s so interesting about my life that’s got TMZ all over it?” Y/N laughs at the thought because besides being a married successful actor, what interesting thing can they get?

“As much as TMZ isn’t the best source the fans should look at, this stuff can still hurt actors” Kristen states showing Y/N the article off her phone.

Y/F/N Y/L/N seen with Bill Hader without their significant others—Is there something there?

Y/N gave it a neutral look before handing Kristen her phone back. “Textbook rumor, hell. It was probably a teen that wrote that”

“Are you going to tell Bill or have him find out himself?”

“Knowing him and media, I’m gonna have to tell him” Y/N laughs before pulling up the article on her phone and sending it to Bill.

Bill: Wow. Haha, that’s a textbook rumor

Y/N: Thats what I told Kristen lol

Bill: So...You’re already in New York for SNL Saturday right?

Y/N: Right?

Bill: You want to grab drinks? Night before of course

Before Y/N can say anything more she stops herself from replying when her husband texted her. A smile formed on her face loving that he did but there’s so much more to it...

Evan: Hey baby!

Evan: Hope New York ain’t that humid like it is here. Honestly if it weren’t for our careers, we would totally be in a colder state. Can’t stand the heat

Evan: but yknow. LA is home lol

Evan: Speaking of LA, TMZ made a ridiculous article lmao. If I didn’t know already that you and Bill are just friends, I’d be worried. But again...It’s TMZ

Evan: Anyway! I love you

Y/N: I love you too

Bill frowns seeing she hasn’t responded and feels like he’s come on a little strong when...it’s just drinks.

“Hey, you gotta get going or you’ll miss your flight” Maggie smiles handing Bill his coat before he left.

He of course kisses his wife goodbye, but the lingering feeling in his chest grew.

When Bill was in the air he decided to shoot a text to Y/N indicating that he invited their friends but Y/N didn’t receive it. Reception and everything. But—

Y/N: I’d love to

was sent before Bill’s when his plane landed and he didn’t realize until it sent.

Bill: I invited Kate, Kenan, Fred, and Kristen...John is a maybe and Seth isn’t going to be in town.

“Shit. Should’ve—-fuck” Bill frowns waiting in baggage claim when Fred scared the man out of the blue. Even if Bill did know he was his ride.

Y/N sat in her hotel room staring at the text for a minute before checking the time and suddenly getting a semi crazy idea.

Y/N: You told me the other day you got a late flight...wondering if you want to order in some room service at my hotel room. If you’re not tired

Bill: Fred picked me up from the airport if you don’t mind him tagging along

Y/N: More the merrier :)

More the merrier...

After arrival and ordering in, Fred and Bill had already started to argued with each other about true crimes as Y/N sat back watching the two go back and forth. She laughs as she drinks her wine.

“So does it always end with her snapping?”

“No but when she snaps-“

“She snaps”

“Okay” Y/N laughs setting down her glass as Bill couldn’t help but smile enjoying her laugh.

“Well. I’m gonna get some sleep. I’ll see you two tomorrow” Fred got up giving Bill a look before leaving the two alone.

“Damn and I was just starting to enjoy your talk about true crime. I’m more into medical dramas”

“Like Grey’s?”

“Oh definitely Grey’s” Y/N smiles laughing as Bill moves himself beside her on the bed leaning against the headboard. “Did you even start it when I recommended it to you?”

“Okay I got up to season...eight and that is a shitton of Drama for me to handle”

“And yet you watch Snapped like it’s something you can’t live without”

“Ok ok...Snapped. Is the greatest show that I don’t even have a valid reason to explain why I like it so much.” Bill states looking over at Y/N as he...found himself lost in a thought.

Can’t really say the thought hasn’t crossed my mind. What if my life would’ve been different if I met Y/N before I got married? It clearly would’ve been different but would life have gone the same route as it is now...I’m lucky. Fuck. Lucky she’s in my life as it is...just

Friday rehearsals went by fast, Bill got a kick out of watching Y/N take off the liquid latex off her eyebrows. He laughs as he hands her the makeup wipes to get off the residue. Y/N rolls her eyes flicking Bill in the forehead for laughing at her.

“Y/N, John is looking for you. Wants to run lines again” Fred smiles watching Y/N clean up a bit before going to find John.

“Didn’t John leave before the rest of us?”

“Yeah but I wanted a minute to ask you”

“Ask me what?”

“I don’t know. Guess I’m stalling” Fred wasn’t stalling, he honestly wanted to be nosey asking if anything more happened when he was gone. He didn’t think exactly that. But the thought did cross his mind. “Uh. So about drinks tonight. That’s still down?”

“You really has to ask without Y/N present? Yeah it’s still down” Bill laughs patting Fred’s back before grabbing his things.

Soon the gang was hitting the bar late and really just enjoying each other’s time. Fred handed Kristen and Y/N their drinks as Kenan handed Kate and Bill theirs.

“You owe new a game of darts Fred”

“You are so on” Fred laughs at Kenan as he immediately got up from the booth.

“So Y/N, how’s your life in LA?” Kate smiles. “I have a role down there and wanted to know if there’s anything worth it”

“Well if you’ve in LA as long as I have, it’s pretty much worth seeing everything. When you have the time of course” Y/N smiles taking a sip of her wine catching Bill’s gaze on her which instantly made him look away.

“None of us have been in LA as long as you have. Literally. The phrase that “no one is from LA” is true when it comes to you” Kristen smiles watching Y/N shrug. “What’s stopping you from leaving?”

“Yeah, and don’t say career. Because you can easily live here and become a full on regular for SNL. Also get a few gigs here” Kate states as Y/N rolls her eyes smiling.

“I would do anything to get out of LA...but yknow. My husband is the reason.”

“God I hate that” Bill says out of the blue catching all three of them staring at him as he quickly downs his scotch. “Um. Y’know. If they really love and support you. You can do anything. But if they don’t...”

“They aren’t the one for yeah” John cuts in sliding into the booth beside Y/N. “Sorry for coming late. Had to get a few last minute ideas run by Lorne”

“You’re all good. But Kenan and Fred have beat you to the dart board”

“Shit. I call winner, re-fills?” John asks catching a nod from everyone but Y/N. “Want a new drink or?”

“Or...I’m gonna walk back to my hotel. Not feeling that great”

“Already? Damn...well at least get drinks with me when I’m in LA?”

“Of course Kate, see you guys tomorrow” Y/N smiles grabbing her coat and leaving the booth.

Bill watches her go giving John a look as he shrugs pointing with his eyes. He immediately got up going to catch up with her. She wasn’t far...but he hesitated for a second.

“They aren’t the one for yeah” Thanks John. I’ll be thinking about that for the rest of my life. Or well...the rest of my marriage.

Y/N froze when she heard fast movement behind her indicating the short run Bill made. She looks at him confused as he gave her a concerned look.

“We...are in the same hotel. Want to walk with me?”

“Yeah..I do” Bill states catching a very light tint of pink growing on Y/N’s cheeks as she quickly looked away. “Um. Are you only leaving because of what I said?” he asks as they started walking side by side.

Yes. Because...well what am I supposed to say to you? I can’t live to you. You’re one of my best friends. Someone I can be honest with. But you...make my mind go blank for a good minute. Forgetting that I’m married. Married to someone I’m just trying to make it work with at this point...I love Evan don’t get me wrong...but god what would I do—

“Uh. Can I lie saying it didn’t bug me?”

“So it bugged you”

“Little bit”

“I’m sorry” Bill frowns wishing he didn’t say it at all or let his emotions be a factor in it all.

“Be honest with me?”

“Always”

“Are you and Maggie okay? Because there....um. Must’ve been more to it personally than the obvious” But what’s the obvious? That I’m in love with you? Shit.

“Well, she loves me. I love her. But...the feeling is mutual. We haven’t talked about it entirely but when...the spark dies. It dies” Bill said bluntly making Y/N think too hard about what he just said. She didn’t want to feel bad, a part of her felt differently. “We really just yknow what to get everything in order before officially”

“Yeah no...I get it. Well. Yeah I do. I get it” Y/N frowns before flinching to the sudden boom.

Bill looks at Y/N freak a tad to the boom which was the sound of thunder. It’s not New York without one day of rain. Let alone lightening. He instantly wraps his arm around her out of instinct directing her under an awning.

“Should’ve...taken a cab”

“Mm. We can make it. If you trust me out in the rain”

“If we get electrocuted. It’s God hating me” Fuck.

I trust him.

I know she trusts me.

He wouldn’t have said that...if there wasn’t something.

She doesn’t like talking about Evan. Could there...

There’s something else

Fuck. Be true.

I’m...Ive been....

After all these years...I can’t just call her a friend.

“Fuck. Even in a jacket I’m soaking....fuck” Y/N was shaking but not because of the rain. Being afraid of thunder is a completely different story that she didn’t have the time to explain, when her mind is wondering.

“Come on...you should get out of the wet clothes” Bill says as he rests his hand on her cheek catching her gaze. Her beautiful e/c eyes looking up at him catching a whole other feeling.

After getting out of her wet clothes, Y/N opens her hotel room door looking up at a very distressed Bill. She frowns letting him in and once the door closed, he turned back to her taking her face into his hands kissing her.

I shouldn’t have done that.

...mutual

Fuck

Y/N shortly after pushed Bill off giving him a worried look before suddenly laughing and breaking down into tears. I’m sorry.

“Y/N—“

“I-...God. You have no idea Bill Hader. No fucking idea”

“What do you mean?” Bill frowns trying to comfort her but Y/N retracted herself.

“I feel so out of place here. Like. God. You drive me insane! And I don’t mean in a negative way. It’s never in a negative way. I’m just—-terrified!” Y/N laughs as she choked up on her tears. “I’m...I’ve been in love with you ever since we got close. But I’m married—you’re married—-and adultery is a fucking....sin? Hell I’m not religious but it is! Like Bill don’t get me wrong” She states resting her hands on his chest looking up at him as he continued to have a worried look. “I...I want to be with you. But I can’t...can’t do that to Evan.”

Bill watches her continue to cry as he takes in a deep breath before exhaling and resting his hands on her cheeks making her look at her. “It’s terrifying...falling in love again...especially to someone who has already locked that down. You’re...not alone in that boat. And I....I don’t want to give you an ultimatum or whatever the right word is called but...”

But?

“I’m willing to wait until the end of my lifetime to be with you. I know the next chapter in my life and my wife is on the same page. But the one after that...I’m willing to wait forever if I have to. If it means being with you. I’m not going to force you Y/N. You mean the world to me, but I don’t want to hurt you for eternity by forcing you”

And that’s that. He said that and Y/N took it to heart. Knowing exactly the next thing she does.

Is her choice.

The two haven’t seen each other in six months the after that SNL night, let alone talk to each other. Bill got a divorce, and he has set time for himself until he got a role at the end of that six month period heading straight for New York. Pretty common place for movies to be shot but he didn’t want to go anywhere crazy at that moment. Stepping onto set first day meeting the people you’ll be working with for months wasn’t a hard thing to do, but being handed a physical script that has the character list within it. Bill took his seat at the table read opening the script and reading-

“Hey Hader” Y/N smiles sitting beside him setting down her copy of the script and her tea. “It’s been a while”

“It has...you cut your hair” Bill smiles admiring the new look of hers. Y/N shot him a smile before elbowing him.

“Working out for Barry still Huh?” Y/N smiles catching a laugh as Bill nods crossing his arms. “You’re perfect no matter what. Y’know that right?”

“I do, do you?”

“Of course” Y/N smiles as the two straighten up when it got time for the actual read.

Afterward...

“You have a ride?”

“Rental”

“Oh shit. Hold on. Did you pay for a hotel room yet?” Y/N asks confusing the fuck out of Bill as she laughs at the confused look. “Just answer it Bill”

“Not yet. I just got in to be honest”

“Stay with me then” Y/N smiles. “I live in a loft on 408 Greenwich Street...it’s not that far and I have plenty of room”

“Lead the way?” Bill tosses her his keys as Y/N smiles nodding.

She’s...still the same happy girl when he first met her. Even if they both been through a lot the past six months. A lot has changed but the one thing Bill worried about...hasn’t changed. Because she doesn’t want their relationship to change until...then

Bill looks out into the street from her loft’s window. It’s not that bad of a neighborhood. Makes him wonder if it’s ever crazy loud at night or if it’s safe. He wants her to be safe.

“So, how long have you been here?”

“Uh. A month. But I put a down payment two months ago. It’s nice right? Not too big. Not too small. Just right...” Y/N smiles walking over standing beside him. “How are you? How’s everything in LA?”

“I’m good. Everything is good” Bill smiles. “And you? Evan?”

“Well, the decision wasn’t mutual. But it brought more things to light. So...Yknow. It was a matter of time” Y/N shrugs. “But hey. We are finalizing it. He’s still in LA and I’m here. Kinda...starting over. Turning a new leaf” she laughs at how that can sound but he understood. He understood completely.

“So, I know...the wound is still fresh. But baby steps huh?”

“Yeah” Y/N smiles taking his hand into hers feeling him gently squeeze. “Baby steps”

#bill hader #bill hader gifs #bill hader x reader #sorry it took a while lol

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revol-lover · 4 years

Text

i know i have become a shit post queen but this site is a good place to just dump thoughts when i’m too lazy to actually write them down so don’t mind me. also i’m “ok enough”. like i’m not ok-ok but i’m not like badly not ok.

ok? anyway.

so idk what it is. being raised by emotionally distant parents esp my mom or the depression thats probably also related to that but man i just feel so empty for such long periods of time. empty, or maybe detached is a better word. and just really really restless. and also that when i have good emotions, i dont feel them all that much. idk. sometimes i feel like i’m on the outside looking in on my life. i have a lot of feelings but then at the same time i dont. maybe because i repress a lot then it all builds up and explodes. idk. its awful though.

i also feel like i have two very distinct sides to me. half of me is like fuck this shit i just want to self destruct but i wont because i’m too responsible to do that and the other half is like wow life is so interesting i am a spirit not a body and i want to be an enlightened being. neither of those sides of me is less me than the other. neither is a farce or anything but its fucking hard for those two sides of me to coexist. the only middle ground, which is probably like 1/3 of the time how i feel, is blah. neutral to absolutely everything.

and i think ive talked about this before but before the whole corona/quarantine thing i was at this extreme level of DONE with feeling isolated in my life, esp as a sahm. done with falling into the trap of believing being a mom was my whole identity (and its definitely a part of it, of course. but i think its unhealthy for moms to think its all we are) like i totally lost myself for a while. my daughters birth being traumatic and her having potential life long complications (and ‘potential’ meaning, her diagnosis is so complicated. theres never going to be a time where we get a real “all clear”. some kids have developed seizures again way down the road, especially at certain ages where kids go through a lot of development.) and then ofc just raising a child with all of that going on, plus normal toddler craziness, plus having a kid who is super hyper and smart and amazing but parenting after having a difficult relationship with your own mother is one of those things that is really hard and not talked about enough. i never feel like im doing enough. i never feel like she likes me.i know thats so stupid but i really am that insecure about my parenting, no matter how hard i try. i just want my child to love me and sometimes toddlers do things that make you feel like crap (ex ‘i dont want u mom i want daddy!’ and i can rationalize it, dad’s the exclusive parent. i’m just here all the time like the furniture. i get it.) and its just a big complicated thing with my emotions. not what i was trying to say tho i got off track.

anyway the isolation thing. so i had a plan. a plan!!! i have this one awesome long time friend, honestly my only friend outside of my husband who knows me like the good bad and ugly, has known me for a very long time, and has been there for me through some really tough shit. he’s like the brother i never had, truly. (i have a biological brother but we dont really talk.) so i talked to him about things i was going through and he’s also been going through a challenging time in his life and he told me he’d help me get out there. we were going to force me to learn to socialize and make friends in “real life” by putting me in those situations. we were going to go to some poetry club. a show downtown. like i was ready. then corona happened. and my already crawling out of my skin isolation got worse because hey we cant do anything now, not even see my one friend.

so yeah. i was fine in the beginning of all this because i figured, hey by may itll be over! then hey by june! then maybe 4th of july. which has become, my daughter is so excited about her birthday party in august and i dont even know if i can throw her one and i dont know how to deal with this or explain it to her.

i know this is major first world problems and im all over the place and i document this dumb shit because i hope one day i’ll be so far past it and be able to look back and think well wow i made it through 2020 but yeah idk

i think part of it is i’m turning 27 in two weeks and my saturn return thing is just getting so close and i’m starting to see the beginning of shit in my life crumbling underneath me. like i know what i gotta do. i have to put myself out there. i have to get out of my safety zone. and i have to use my gifts to help others not just sit here drowning in my self pity but obviously its hard to challenge yourself and put yourself out there, literally, during a pandemic.

and the last point which is just something that boggles my mind about myself that i dont understand. like i’m definitely depressed. i have very bad anxiety too. and even though i can be extremely self pitying and go into like a black hole of sadness, i still dont let myself do bad things. which is good, obviously. but its iike i’ve been recovered from self injury for probably about ten years but some days i am so deep in my shitty feelings or empty feelings that i just want to do it again but i cant. theres something in me that wont let me. and i guess im glad for that, obviously. i guess my life/universe/guardian angel is trying to force me to face shit for real and not just have shitty coping mechanisms but idk. like it was a bad outlet but idk. sometimes, just sometimes, i feel like it did more for me than just writing things out. which is bullshit because it did nothing for me except give me a bunch little permanent reminders of shitty times. but idk. that’s my brain for you. sometimes i want to just let it all go and be a mess in my feelings and not care if i’m ok but then my brain is like nope bitch you cant do that. youre not 17 anymore, get up.

and i know some people would read this (well no - no one would read all this lmao but in a theoretical sense) and think like, oh did you try therapy or oh maybe try meds and the thing is

therapy - i tried it. i liked the idea of it. bad fit with the therapist tho. didnt like being kicked out after 45 min (which i understand but bitch i need more than that to explain one problem) and it felt weird to be told by her, that she felt like i had a good handle on things. cause i dont really feel that way and i feel like she didnt have much to tell me in terms of how to idk fix myself besides journaling, which i’ll give her. it helps

meds: i i dont really want to go that route yet because my body is really sensitive to medication. like i dont even take bc or anything like that. however i think ive decided that since its super legal and obtainable i might try pot once we are able to move into our own place. so if anyone did actually read this far and have experience with that (esp w anxiety) please enlighten me. i had some samples of some cbd stuff and it was amazing for my anxiety but it’s way too expensive for me to use consistently.

this has been a very long shit post but i feel better so theres that.

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reeree1500 · 5 years

Text

The Return- Part 10

Disclaimer: YALL IM SO SO SO SORRY.😭😭 I have been horrible and not updated this story for at least a month.😬 I can explain though... University has been kicking my ass and between that and my co-op placement at a law firm.😅 Ive had absolutely no time to do anything😩 BTW IVE MISSED YALL SO MUCH❤️And Ive read all your messages and asks. And yes my mental health is now better and y'all are so understanding and supportive 💕 honestly could not have asked for a better group of individuals☺️❤️

Part 1 part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 part 8 part 9 Part 11

Anyways onto the storyyyyy.....

Warnings: ANGSTY AF (kinda figured out that im probably a smut and angst writer at this point🤷🏽‍♀️), sucky ass grammar and spelling like always, my cliche imagination and the fact that Im probably a horrible human being😬😩 Also made it extra long cuz I felt baddd

PLEASE DONT KILL ME FOR THIS ONE😬

Taglist: @yanii-the-hippie @oceans-daughter-3 @peaceisadirtyword @laketaj24 @camatsuru @youbloodymadgenius @calum-hoodwinked-me @cutegyrl927 @wuxiesalt @readsalot73 @cindy-exo @affection-rabbit @amy8220 @mel0nch0ly @queenofallthyfandoms @limbo-limbo-limbo @ragnarssonsbitch @supernaturalvikingwhore @ifihadwings128 @paintballkid711 @jenny-the-lover @funmadnessandbadassvikings @blonddnamedhandz @hallowed-heathen @pinkrockstar19 @ivarthethiccness

Sorry if I missed any of you💕 Lemme know if you want to be tagged. Also requests are open, and I’ve got a ton of them to do and finish. Hopefully Ill be able to post them soon enough

Arthur’s POV

“Arthur please! Open the door my love, I know what it may seem like to you, but I assure you that its not.” (Y/n) pleaded from the other side. I sat down on the mattress in our chamber contemplating whether or not it was true. Should I believe what my wife so desperately is trying to reassure me off. Or should I stick with my gut feeling and tell her how I have felt for the last 4 years. Her constant pounding on the door finally gets to me and I make my way to open it. “I wish to be left alone at the moment (y/n).” Her arms circle around my waist and I can feel her face wetting by back with tears. “Arthur please, talk to me. Why have you run off. You know that I love you. I do not want him, all he does is bring me pain and you take that away. So please, talk to me!” (y/n) murmurs into my back. As much as it pains me to do so I pry her hands off of me and sit us down on the bed. All I do is long for her touch, but this is not okay. I cannot keep feeling this way and go on pretending that I could have ever stood a chance against him. “(y/n), look at me. I love you and I always will. But its evident that you love him. and I honestly can say that I know I will never stand a chance against him, because the thought of you possibly running back to him has always been on my mind since the day we got married.”

Her eyes showed so much pain that confessing this felt as if I was driving a knife through her heart. “Arthur, I love you. What can I do to show you that. Yes I confess that I was in love with him, but that was long ago and I have left it in the past in order to build a future with you. Whom I love and who I share and will continue to share beautiful children with. So please don't shut me out, Arthur.” She says leaning our foreheads together and holding my face in her gentle hands. “Ok, however I want to be able to process things by myself. So I have decided to have the guest room across the hall prepared only until I figure things out.” With out giving her a chance to fight back, I place my lips on hers and savour the kiss as if it were our last. Meeting her eyes was something I wanted to avoid as I knew that just looking at her broken expression would make me change my mind. I hastily make my way out of the room, but sneak a quick glance over my shoulder to find my wife staring off into the direction where I once sat. With tears streaming down her eyes...

Your POV

What had I done? Why was I such fool to not see what my husband was clearly going through? Millions of questions rushed into my mind about how to go about this situation. I loved Arthur, I was clear on that. But he spoke the truth, there was something in me that could not let Ivar go and it took hurting my husband and Ivar to figure that out. As I sulked I forgot about the doctor whom I had asked to see me earlier. I was having really bad stomach pains and my breasts were more tender then they had ever been. So I wanted to make sure that I was not sick, as that would have been the last thing I needed on my plate at the moment. “My Queen, are you alright? Do you wish to push back this appointment, I dont mind coming by later when you're better.” The doctor spoke from behind me. “Yes, it seems so. Ill let the servant girl know if I need you doctor. Im sorry for the inconvenience.” “Nonsense your majesty, it is my pleasure to serve you.” With a bow the doctor retreats from the room and Im left to my own thoughts once again...

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“(y/n), wake up... its seems that you fell asleep on the floor. Come on I’ll help you up.” Upon hearing Hvitty’s comforting voice my eyes flutter open and I cant help the tears that song come down my face like a cascade. “(y/n)! are you alright are you hurt anywhere? Why are you crying?” Hvitserk’s eyes scan my face and my body looking for the source of my pain, which is held in my heart, but he’ll never know that. “Arthur... He...” I try to find the words to say. “What! What did he do! Did he hurt you? I swear ill kill him!” With that Hvitserk tries to let me go and run out the door, but somehow I manage to stop him. “Hvitserk, No! He didn't hurt me. I hurt him... He believes that Im in love with Ivar, and I fear that their maybe some truth to it...” I say just above a whisper, with my head held low. “(Y/N), Ive known that since before you were married. It was obvious, but I would never say anything to you because I found that it was best if I kept such observations to myself, before I found out about your father.” Lifting my head and staring directly at him, I move my head to the side with a puzzling look. “What do you mean about my father, Hvitserk?” Hvitserk now mirrors the same lost look that I have on my face. “I thought thats why you and Ivar had gotten together, because Ragnar’s not your father...”

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Ivar’s POV

“Aghhhh!”Is the sound that comes out of my gritted teeth when the medicinal herbs are placed on my face. “That hurts like a bitch, get out! Ill do this myself if I have to. GO!” I yell at the servant girl who tried to cleanse and tend to the cuts on my face. “Ivar, please let the servants tend to you. I still cannot believe that Arthur punched you in the face. Hehehe, you deserved it though, how could you question the paternity of his children and not expect him to want to kill you?” Bjorn laughs as he chugs the rest of his drink down. “Well, if you actually cared about your children and the heir to your throne, you’d also be quite upset to find a Christian King claiming to be their father. Those children are mine! And its pretty evident, just look at Marjorie. She's my spitting image.” I snarl at him as the anger begins to rise in me again. “Ivar, thats your mistake and why you’ll never get (y/n) back. You believe that everything should be yours. And that people are things you can govern over, but they're not. Because those are children. And yes they may be yours, but you cannot take away what they have known because you want to be selfish.” He says with a stern look on his face, whilst getting up from his chair and making his way to the door. “Now get ready and fix yourself we have a intimate dinner to attend to with MY sister and the love of your life.” Unbeknownst to us, there was Freydis on the balcony listening to our whole conversation. And little did I know that it would come to be the thing I regretted the most.

At the dinner I notice (y/n) sit on the opposite side of the table from Arthur. This wouldn't have affected me if it wasn't for the look on both of their faces. They seemed distraught and broken. Arthur masked it well, but (y/n) was an open book for all of us to know exactly how she felt at that moment. Not much talking happened, besides Marjorie and Erik shouting at each other on who was better at riding. They reminded me a lot of myself and all I wanted was to tell them the truth, that they were my children and that they would go back to Kattegat with me to learn about the true gods and not the fable that had been told to them about their so called ‘God’.” “(Y/n) are you alright, you do not seem quite like yourself tonight.” Bjorn states with a concerned look that we all share. Even Arthur looks a bit concerned, but his body language makes it seem as if he is alright and nothing is wrong. “Sarah, could you please put Marjorie and Erik to bed? Its getting late for them and they have their lessons early in the morning.” She says with a stern and cold look in her (e/c) eyes. “Su...sure your majesty. “ At that Bjorn stands up as if to accompany Sarah, but is quickly stopped by (y/n)’s icy glare and venomous words. “Sit your ass down.” At that we all look astonished, but Hvitserk only stares at her with sadness and what seems to be sympathy. He must know why she is like this then.

Bjorn slowly sits back down on the table. A shocked look graces his face, as he cannot comprehend why she is acting this way towards her beloved older brother. “How long.” Is all she grits out through her teeth. “What do you mean, (y/n)?” My eyes meet Hvitserk’s own and the realization dawns upon me. She knows...

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Your POV

“Stop with the bullshit! I cannot take anyone else lying to me!” I scream as I bang my hands against the table, stunning everyone in sight. “How long did you know that Ragnar was not my father! How long have you kept the truth from me! How long have you known that Athelstan was my father!” I could careless about everyone staring at me as if I was a mad woman. I had been lied to my whole life. All I had known had been a lie, and the people who I trusted the most in this world had been the ones keeping it a secret from me. “(Y/N)... I..I’ve know since the moment you were born. But father had sworn me into secrecy and I could not break a promise. This doesn't change anything though. You are still my sister and you will always be.” Bjorn says in a haste as tries to come closer to me, but I step back and move as far back as I can. “Did you know? Tell me! Ivar did you know that we were not siblings!” Ivar didn't even have to answer. I knew from the look in his eyes that he too had been lying to me.

“I knew.” Arthur says staring right at me. “I knew that you weren't his daughter and I knew that Ivar wasn't your brother. But I kept that information from you because all I wanted to do was have you by my side. I’m sorry, for the pain I have caused you (y/n). Im sorry for being selfish and not telling you the truth, but I now see that I was wrong and as of tomorrow you are free to go back to your country. I promise that your title and lands will not be taken from you or from the children. May they be mine or his. But I cannot go on with this facade anymore.” Arthur says in the most calm demeanour as he stands up and comes to me. “You hypocrite! How dare you make me feel like shit for harbouring feelings for Ivar when you knew all along and knew that my whole life was a lie.” I scream as I run at him and slap him across the face. But before I can get another punch in I feel a strong grip holding me from behind. From the shocks and the utter feeling in my stomach I knew it could have only been Ivar. As I try desperately to release from his vice grip, my whole world comes crashing down when Sarah enters the room. With blood all over her.

“Your highnesses...Erik.... he.. he..” She tries to say through her shock. “What! What is wrong with my son!” Ivar, Arthur and I scream at the same time. “He.. he’s dying!”

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We all simultaneously run after Sarah towards the doctors quarters. Ivar with his brace on, manages to run faster than all of us and busts the doors wide open. if I wasn't so worried about my son or upset about the fact they all knew Ragnar wasn't my father, I would've been impressed. “What are you doing! Get away from my son!” At that Ivar rushes towards the doctor who is bleeding Erik out. Grabbing him by the collar he slams the doctor on the wall and his sclera go into bluish hue, showing that he is in danger of breaking a bone. “Ivar stop it! Let the man go, he is just trying to help.” “Help my ass! I will not let you harm my son, do you understand me! I will not let you harm him!” At that Ivar lets the doctor go, but not without staring him down. And the doctor looking like he is about to shit himself. Rushing to Erik’s side I notice something strange. The colour of his skin is now fading and his eyes have bags under them. But what hits me the most is the memory of Uncle Rollo teaching me about poison. “He doesn't need to be bled, he needs medicine. He’s been poisoned...”

“Mama! What is wrong with Erik! He will be okay right? He has to be okay!” Marjorie begins to say as she shakes with fear. Before Arthur or I could say something to console her, Ivar bends down and takes her hands in his. “Marjorie, listen to me. Your brother is a fighter and so are you. After all were related aren't we?” Ivar says as he lifts her chin. “Yes..I suppose that we are. Is it true what they say though? Are you our father?” At that Ivar turns to me looking towards me for permission. At this point I think to myself how hard it was to learn my whole life had been a lie and that I would not want that for my children, so I nod. “Yes, Marjorie I am your father. And no your mother is not my sister. It was something that we had to say because she needed to be kept safe.” He says ever so calmly. “Safe from who?”She questions “From my mother. Your grandmother.”

Cough*Cough* Spurts of blood cover me in seconds. My attention becomes focused in on my son again. “Where is the damn antidote! Please someone hurry!” At that Hvitserk runs into the room with a small green vial. “Here take this it should help him. Lagertha gave it to me before her and father left. Something about it would come in handy some day. Here.” Shoving the vial in my hands I open it quickly and lift Erik’s head. “Drink this Erik. It should help you, my darling. Please be strong, I know you're scared, but you’ll be alright ok. Everything will be ok.” I say through tears. Today had been the worst day by far. “Mira... please help my son. I know you're always with me, but please help me now. Pray for my son and ask God to save him.”

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A few hours had gone by and nobody had moved from the room. Arthur sat on the chair next to the bed with his elbows on his knees, looking straight and focused in on Erik. Bjorn and Hvitserk sat by the fireplace and were wetting some towels so that we could place them atop Eriks head. I sat on the bed next to my son and caressed his beautiful face hoping for a miracle. I had dismissed Sarah and told her to take Marjorie with her, but she would not budge. Sarah left, but Marjorie stayed and sat in Ivars lap asking him if Erik would pull through. Ivar was sweet to answer as best as he could, and I could tell that he truly cared for his children even if his demeanour wasn't the greatest. I knew that deep in my heart I would have to let him get to know them, but it still hurt especially knowing that he now was married. “Wait, where is Freydis? I haven't seen her since yesterday.” I say looking towards Ivar. “I dont know earthier to be honest, she's probably looking at some damn flowers anyway. Its best if she's far away anyway.” “Why would you say that about your wi-” “she's not my wife, at least not yet. Were not actually married, (y/n). I just said that to piss you off.” Taking a deep breath I go to stand up from the bed in order to fetch a bucket of water and some new cloths. Instead I end up on the floor cradling my belly, with a burning sensation in my chest and blood pouring out from my mouth. “(Y/n)! Mama!” I can hear the shouts around me. “Fetch the doctor! Now hurry!” The voices around me begin to fade and not before long I can feel myself drifting away.

“My baby... Save my baby...” And with that everything turns pitch black...

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dammitadolfnomorecake · 4 years

Text

Lance didn’t see it as running away. “Running away” suggested he could run, not simply rolling himself around in the wheelchair that Shiro insisted he use until he was safely out of sight. He hadn’t given up his baby sitting duties, not once Krolia was released from the pod, nor when Curtis was released. His friends were all being overly careful not to mention Keith’s status. A status that had only sent him into a deeper pit of depression. After a movement in the damn pod, Keith had finally been released. Lance should have been happy, his husband was released after all... only, he hadn’t woken. One quintant ticked into the next, then the next... and the next, and into a whole new movement. Keith had been left in a coma, despite being placed into a pod within vargas of the attack. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. He could touch him. He could hold him, but no matter what he did, Keith wouldn’t respond. Now Lance was striking out on his own... through a series of what Keith would call “bad choices”. First came disregarding Shiro’s insistence that he rest. Keith was moved into the same room as him and Curtis, and after what had felt like a movement of hellish torment, all he’d wanted to do was curl up with his husband. At the time, no one had predicted that Keith wouldn’t rouse from his stint in the pod. Cuddling into him, Lance had been determined to be there when he woke. Then when Keith hadn’t, he’d gone slightly mad... slapping his unconscious husband hard across the face when he refused to wake up and show him those deep amethyst eyes he loved so dearly. Shiro had pulled him off, ordered him to sleep in his own bed, livid with him for his actions. That was when he started planning. Feeling guilty that his boyfriend had woken when Keith hadn’t, Lance had managed to get his comms returned to him by manipulating that guilt uncomfortably, he’d then called through to obstetrician and okayed the surgery that he hadn’t wanted when Keith was there to babysit him and keep a watch for any symptoms he may miss. Surrounded by friends and family, he shouldn’t have felt as alone in his pregnancy as he did. Without Keith to ground him, he felt lost and reckless. He had no idea what to do or what choices to make. He didn’t have the right words to make everyone around him feel better. Pity was plastered on the face of everyone who’d visited him, Zethrid and Ezor were no exception to that. No one wanted to look him in the eyes, leaving him feeling like he was a leper shunned from society. Shay has tried to perk him up by finally asking what an Earth wedding was like, that soon came to an end when Shiro shooed her off “because Lance needs his rest”. He didn’t need rest. He didn’t want rest. He didn’t want Shiro pestering him over if he wanted Coran or Miriam to come stay with him while he was confined to his hospital room. His Mami had made it very clear that she wanted him to come back to Earth while Keith lay there comatose. Veronica had explained everything to her, he could see it in her eyes as when they’d spoken. The way she paused that fraction of a tick too long as she tried not to reveal the truth of the matter to him. Everywhere he looked was another “betrayal”. None more so than his husband who refused to wake up.

“Sneaking” out the infirmary as everyone slept wasn’t easy. Shiro heard the creaking of the wheelchair when he’d climbed out of bed jolting awake mid-snore to ask where he was going, Lance smoothly lying as he stated he was going to pee. His catheter had been removed when they finally let him shower himself, and he wasn’t afraid of blood so his IV cannula was soon removed too. They were someone else’s problem. With the bathroom next to the room’s door, Shiro didn’t move from Curtis’s side as the door let out its usual soft whoosh. Kosmo’s nails clicked on the stone flooring as his fur son stayed by side. Once sure that his footsteps wouldn’t arouse suspicion, he climbed from the wheelchair only for Kosmo to growl at him until he sat down again. His wolf was a dirty rotten traitor, but he also knew how well loved he was and how to use those big puppy dog eyes on him. Rising slower, Kosmo growled again, his mouth finding Lance’s hand in an attempt to stop him

“I know. I know, Kosmo. I have to go. It’s for the sake of the twins”

Kosmo may be the dumbest wolf in the universe, but that was only when he wanted treats and pats. Lance knew he understood everything perfectly. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t react to situations he did. Whining at him, Lance ruffled the fur between his ears

“I know you don’t like it, but it needs to be done... I can’t stay here. It’s... it hurts too much. I keep waiting for your dad to wake up, but he’s left me here and I can’t go with him or to where he is... I’m not strong enough to keep watching over him like this... he won’t wake up... no matter what I do...”

Kosmo whined at him, not happy he’d left the company of the others but Lance had made up his mind. He was falling apart from the inside out. He knew he was breaking in an entirely different way and to stay would only cause troubles.

Creeping through the corridors, Lance headed to Keith’s quarters. He had clothes at the outpost, but he needed his work comm back. Shiro hadn’t let him have that one, so when Krolia had lent him her comms to show him a video of Kolivan sitting up and snoring with Korra asleep in his arms, he’d set up permission for him to take a pod and have wormhole to Erathus opened. He felt guilty betraying her, yet he’d never get off the damn planet if he hadn’t. Opening the door to Keith’s quarters, he jumped visibly as he was caught in the act. Krolia was sitting on Keith’s bed, Korra and Kolivan not there to witness his shame

“I had a funny feeling I’d be seeing you tonight”

Rubbing his stomach to hide how much Krolia had scared him, Lance stared at his baby bump, suddenly fascinated with the fabric of his plain black top

“What are you doing here?”

“I was notified you’d left the infirmary. I’m well aware of the arsenal that Keith keeps under his bed. I cannot allow you see Krystaal in your current state of mind”

Krolia thought he was going to see Krystaal? Dios knew he wanted to. He wanted to shoot the arsehole in the face, but he was smart enough to know that he couldn’t get down there to see him without everyone knowing

“Who said I wanted to see him?”

“Lance...”

Lance shot her a glare. He was tired of all this tiptoeing around

“Krolia”

“You should be resting...”

“I’m done with resting. I’m sick of that room”

“You haven’t...”

“I haven’t what, Krolia? Go on. Tell me what I haven’t done. Tell me what I don’t know. I’m done Krolia”

“Lance, Keith wouldn’t want you...”

“He wouldn’t want what?! He wouldn’t want me talking to Krystaal? He wouldn’t want me talking to the piece of shit who put him in a fucking coma?! He wouldn’t want me being treated like I’m made of glass? What am I supposed to do? He might never wake up! And none of you are treating me...”

“We’re worried about you. You were doing so well. Then you took my comms and scheduled a wormhole to Erathus. What were you going to do? Kill Krystaal? Take him hostage? He’s not talking to anyone”

Lance let out a bitter laugh, twisted with a touch of madness

“Of course this has to be about Krystaal. You couldn’t imagine it being about anyone else, could you? I was doing well? You mean I was keeping my damn mouth fucking shut and letting all of you decide everything for me. Tell him the damn truth, Krolia. Keith won’t wake up. He might never wake up. He’s as good as dead”

Flying off the bed, Krolia stormed over to him, slapping him across the face. Shocked, Lance clutched his cheek, tears welling and rushing to roll down his face

“I’m disgusted how little you believe in him”

“That sounds about right. I’ve always been disgusting. The only difference is that now you all have Keith to explain it away. Poor Lance. Who do we pass him onto now that Keith’s up and gone? We can’t leave him alone. We can’t let him make his own decisions or even let him leave the planet to see his obstetrician. No. He’s a murderer. Obviously he’s planning the murder of Krystaal! Everything has to always be about Krystaal!”

“You’re the one obsessed with Krystaal! Your medical care has been transferred here”

“You decided that! Keith knew that wasn’t what I wanted. He knew! I’m brain damaged, not stupid. I know I can’t see him. You all this in too fucking fragile too handle it! None of you trust me. I’m done with being treated like this!”

“You’re the one...”

“Don’t you dare turn this back on me because you can’t make him talk! Hack his memories. Inject him with a truth serum. Torture him! Do something fucking more than acting like you care when all you care about is the fact I’m carrying your grandchildren! Rest. You all tell me to rest because I’m pregnant. You tell me to rest because of the twins! Don’t get out of bed because it’s bad for them!”

Krolia grabbed his left wrist so hard he felt as if it was bruising immediately

“You think it’s that easy. I have never seen you act so childish”

“You’re hurting me!”

Growling at Krolia, Kosmo raised his hackles. When Krolia shot him a glare, his cowardly fur son sat, though he kept his teeth bared.

“What’s going on here!”

“Let me go!”

Saint Shiro had found him far too fast, Krolia also seemed surprised that a former Black Paladin’s presence

“I’m taking Lance to see Krystaal. He seems to think we’re all relaxing while Keith remains unresponsive”

Tugging at his wrist, he couldn’t get free of Krolia’s hold. Part of him was seriously starting to panic with his plans being so thoroughly unrailed

“Let him go, Krolia”

If anything, Krolia’s hold tightened causing him to whimper

“He’s given up on Keith. He used my comms to approve a wormhole off planet”

Krolia was so angry that Kosmo growled at her again, pawing towards him as he didn’t know what to do with two of his humans fighting

“Lance? You were planning on leaving?”

Shiro sounded hurt. Great. Just fucking great

“He was planning on taking his revenge of Krystaal then leaving. He’s given up on Keith. He said we should tell Krystaal Keith is dead”

“No I wasn’t! I told you it had nothing to do with him! Let me go!”

Shiro caged him in from behind, reaching around him, his fingers started prying Krolia’s hand off his wrist

“Then what were you doing? You never planned on coming back from the bathroom, did you”

As Shiro’s hands start trying to free his wrist, Krolia let go. Lance clutching his wrist to his chest, with Shiro continuing to remain behind him

“Lance? What were you planning on doing?”

“I have an appointment with my obstetrician... I wanted to go to my appointment but none of you cared about what I want. You took it upon yourselves to decide all of this and to tell me nothing. At least Kolivan as honest with me. He told me what was going on... I came to get a few things because I wanted to do this on my own. I can’t keep watching him sleep. He won’t wake up... I can’t wake him up”

“Lance... you could have talked to us”

“You keep telling me to rest. You keep talking at me...”

“Shiro, his medical care has been transferred here, to us”

Shiro knew his issues with previous obstetrician. He also knew how happy they were to have found someone who treated him like a human

“Krolia, let Lance talk. Lance, you have an appointment?”

Lance nodded, Krolia shifted her weight causing him to bump back into Shiro who placed his hands on his shoulders

“She was... my doctor was formulating a plan to help with the bleeding, if I was still bleeding. And with my medication... and stuff. You know what it was like... but she was confident. We liked her. We were supposed to be planning things together. She tells me the truth”

“You should have told us. You can’t go running off when things get to hard”

“Krolia, that’s enough. Lance, you can’t leave on your own. Did you call anyone to meet you there?”

“How could I when none of you let me have any privacy?”

Shiro sighed deeply. Yeah, Lance was going to hold onto his anger over that. They’d all treated him exactly how he hated to be treated, except for Kolivan but he was Krolia’s partner so it’d be weird not to be slightly mad at him... but he wasn’t mad at him the same time. The man was more awkward than Keith had ever been

“You’re not going on your own”

“Then I’ll call Daehra. I can’t do this Shiro, I’m not as strong as you. I can’t sit here and wait for my husband to maybe wake up... He left me... He wanted... I was bleeding and he chose you... I could feel it and he chose you... when I begged him not to go. If I’d been stronger he... he wouldn’t have had to shield me. He wouldn’t be like this! This is my fault... all my fault. Please... please let me go. I need to know what’s happening with his babies”

Shiro forced him into a tight hug. Still scared from Krolia’s outburst and his throbbing wrist. Disappointment had clouded her expression, he felt sick to the stomach from being the cause of it

“Why do you always keep it inside until it comes to this? I can take you. Curtis is awake, watching over...”

“No. Dios... I don’t want a baby sitter! I don’t need a baby sitter. I want to go. I need to go”

“Lance, you can’t. What if you had a seizure? What if no one was there and something went wrong?”

“Then it happens... if Keith isn’t awake, then what does any of this matter? Everything is broken and once again I came second best to you. We can’t compete with you...”

Each word was a spiteful barb aimed at Shiro’s heart. He was lashing out with words he didn’t want to say but had no way of stopping them now that he’d snapped. He didn’t care if he died mid-surgery. He could be a good father to their sons without him. He couldn’t even take care of himself as they’d all proven

“... I want to go back home. Back to my outpost. I want to go back to where I don’t feel like this... I want my brother... I want Marco... I can’t keep walking on eggshells like this. You won’t let me see, Krystaal. You won’t let me get any kind of closure over why he had to hurt Keith like that... or why he betrayed everyone”

Marco would help him figure this out. Veronica worries too much, as did his Mami. Marco worried but he worried in the right ways... not this “lock down and wrap him in cotton wool” quiznak style everyone else was employing. He didn’t know he’d wanted Marco until he’d said it...

“Krolia, you can return to your quarters. Keith and Lance both decided they were going to Erathus for help with Lance’s pregnancy. Lance had a pretty rough time on Altea, Keith was scared yet excited for his next scan. We need to respect his decision on his pregnancy. However, Lance, you’re not going to get any answers from Krystaal. I can take you to see him, but he hasn’t spoken. In return for taking you, Daehra, and Marco will be required to meet you on Erathus, where I will deliver you into their care myself, and you’ll take Kosmo. He knows when you’re stressing and knows when a seizure is coming on. Keith would want him with you. Also, I want you to see Keith before you leave. I want you to be sure of this. He will wake up. Is there anything here you want to bring him?”

With Krolia in their space, angered by him and his actions, their safe space felt tainted. He knew how stressful being a mum could be, he’d seen it in Lisa and his cousins. Plus she had an empire to run and a son in a coma... and it’d been 25 years since the first time around... There were lots of things he wanted to take to Keith. The blade he kept under his pillow. Keith’s own pillows and his favourite blanket. His own clothes. Photos... ultrasound scans... the thought of them felt like they were making a shrine around Keith’s bed... but...

“There’s a box in his bedside drawer. He’d want that...”

Inside the box was Krolia’s memories of Keith and his father. Keith had needed a little time to sort through the box and find the words he wanted, before he’d finally opened up to him. Laying in bed, cuddled up in Keith’s arms with his back to Keith’s warm chest, his husband had pulled the small pile of photographs out from under his pillow. Lance had no idea that Keith had kept them there. Keith didn’t remember everything from his childhood, no ever did from that age and there came a point where you hear a story so many times that you fool yourself into having that memory, but he’d started talking. Those days when his father would burn dinner spectacularly so they’d settle down and eat cereal while watching cartoons. The times his dad would come stinking of smoke, only to pick him up onto his hip and place his helmet on his head. The times Keith tried to help in the kitchen, sitting on the kitchen bench and bossing his father about. They weren’t all good memories. Memories triggered more memories like an earthquake before a tsunami. Keith growing restless and annoyed at his own tears, spluttering apologies while rolling Lance onto his back and shimmying down to talk to his stomach, telling their twins about their grandfather while Lance played with his hair. His husband content to nuzzle and kiss his stomach as he spoke slowly moving from his father to Shiro, then to meeting him. He was grateful for the memories, though confused and unsure at some points as he’d talked about photos and places. Lance let him talk, for what felt like vargas before his husband finally moved back up to lay by his side, one leg thrown over Lance’s as they shared small and soft kisses. Keith finally able to open up about his life, and his fears of leaving their twins behind. Now he had. Lance wasn’t stupid over how much everyone missed Keith’s presence but they also didn’t need him like he needed his husband. Everyday was a struggle to exist without Keith. He relied on him so heavily to simply be there that without him it was like losing half his body and soul.

“Just the box?”

“Yeah... yeah. He’ll understand”

Bit by bit Keith had left him in, let him fix the pain in his heart until he accepted that his father would be proud of him. More than one nightmare of losing his father had followed, Keith tearfully admitting he missed him beyond words. Lance had promised him that wherever he was, he’d always be watching over him. Having been in space, he’d learned anything was possible... so maybe heaven and hell were a possibility too, or some form of it. He’d told him how his father would be watching over him the same way he’d watch over the twins if anything were to happen. Keith had called him an idiot, but he’d take being an idiot any day of the movement if it meant being there for his husband

“Alright. I’ll get the box. Do you need anything from in here?”

“Just the bathroom...”

“Ok. You go clean up while I get the box and call Daehra. Krolia, I think it’s best you leave now. I’ll check in once Lance is on Erathus”

Krolia looked to him, but Lance didn’t have the words to say. He felt scared of her. Scared of her and her disappointment all over again. To him it felt as if their relationship had been sent right back to square one. She loathed weakness. He was nothing but weak in her eyes now...

Led to see Keith before seeing Krystaal, his husband continued to sleep as Lance kissed him goodbye. His tears dripping onto his husband’s cheeks faster than he could wipe them away, whispers of love against Keith’s lips, even if his idiot husband didn’t deserve it. He didn’t want to leave him behind but he needed space to breathe and to figure out how to live without him all over again. He didn’t know his left from his right with how overwhelmed he was. He loved Keith. He loved him more than all the words he knew to describe his feelings. He couldn’t stop crying as he pulled away from him. Shiro would take over the exercises to stop atrophy from forming, Krolia would take over bathing him. Curtis would read to him, he promised that much as Lance drew in on himself. They had this handled. They didn’t need him there. Tears were still rolling down his face as Shiro led him through the palace. Lance wasn’t sure he knew what he was going to say to Krystaal, he’d given up on having the chance to see him with everyone watching his every move. He still wanted to shoot him in the foot... and slowly move his shots upwards... He also wanted to punch him right his self-centred arseholic face. He also wanted to take the Telula and pick that princess up for a nice long talk, or maybe just launch her out the air lock as she hovered in orbit over her damaged planet.

Reaching the entrance to the cells, Shiro confirmed he had Krolia’s permission with the Galra guiding the hallway. He was mammoth in size, even compared to someone like Sendak, a chill ran down Lance’s spine as he tried to draw away from the man and his strange scent. Pregnancy had made scents a hundred times worse for him, yet with Keith by his side he’d worked hard not to be so scared of each individual Galra’s differing scent. After coping Krolia’s anger, his anxiety left him shaken, and had the man gone to shake his hand he probably would have thrown up on him, or fainted. Both seemed as likely as each other. His skin was already starting to itch with the memory of phantom and unwanted touches by Galra just as big as this guard. A whimpered growl escaped when Shiro placed his hand on his shoulder to silently reconfirm that he wanted this. He didn’t. But he did. He wasn’t sure this was going to help anything, and all it was doing was fuelling the anger he was trying not to give into. He was supposed to be off of Daibazaal by now. He had no idea how much time had passed, but he was sure he’d be cutting it fine in regards to his appointment time. Gnashing his teeth together, Lance was forced to breathe through his nose as he gently pushed forward into a hall of unremarkableness. It’s sterile and cold grey walls were surely enough to drive any prisoner to talking if more traditional methods didn’t work. The walk it’s self was short, only a handful of violet bars flickering through Lance’s peripheral visions before Krystaal was before them.

Sitting on the floor of his cell, Krystaal seemed to be in a mediative pose as Lance and Shiro stood before him. Having had a run in with the same bars previous he knew they’d deliver a small shock if he was to get too close. Hesitant as he raised his gaze from Krystaal’s crossed legs, the first thing he noticed was the carved “y” on his arm. The design crude, cut from the man’s fingernails and bloodied to deliver the full effect. With how Krystaal was posed, and the lingering hues of blood in the air, Lance was pretty confident in his guess that Krystaal had “touched up his work of art” once he’d caught their scents in the hall. He’d thought maybe his infatuation with Keith had caused him to go to such lengths but he’d clearly gone off the deep end

“We’ve come to inform you that Keith passed away approximately three vargas ago, having never regained consciousness”

Shiro’s hand tightened on his shoulder, Lance forcibly removing his hand. No one would stoop so low as to play this hand, no one but him. Everyone else was too damn “noble”, yet Lance found nothing noble about Krystaal’s actions and acted without guilt clouding his conscious. He wanted to hurt Krystaal. He wanted to cut him bone deep

“He sustained catastrophic brain trauma from the last explosion to hit the temple. He was placed into a pod, but the pod cannot restore a brain dead patient. He was held in status until it was ensured that both of his children will live, then removed to be prepared for burial. He also told me about your kiss, and how disgusted it made him feel... to the point he threw up at the memory of your lips against his. Unlike you, my husband was brave, honorable and courageous. He came to me straight after the incident to confess what had happened. He considered you a friend. He took pride in your training and skills. He couldn’t understand what provoked you to kiss him, only that it shattered any and all ties between you the moment it happened. He is dead as a direct result of his actions because you were petty. You will never lay your eyes or hands on him again, nor will you be granted permission to attend his funeral. His children will grow up without their father because of you, and we will go on our with our lives, forgetting you existed. We have no hate for you, only pity. Your actions cost the life of one of the hopes of the universe and for that you will stay locked in here. Banishment is too good for you. The princess already admitted her part in the plan, you’ve been shamed across the galaxy for your attempts to ruin Keith’s life and memory. If you think that mark on your arm scares me, it doesn’t. How could an uneducated half breed as yourself understand what that mark ever meant? I hope you enjoy what crippled freedom you think you retain. And I hope the memory of Keith’s kiss sustains you, is branded on your soul like a brand from an iron. Because your kiss sentenced him to death. I’m done here. I only came to tell you that my husband is gone”

Krystaal’s need for superiority overruled his held tongue. Lance knew he loathed him every bit as much as he did Krystaal

“If Keith was dead, you wouldn’t have come down here to see me. You’re not that kind hearted, Lance”

“You’re right. I’m not. I’m a murderer who’s killed a lot more people for less than what you’ve done. Keith, on the hand, was. I’m telling you for his sake”

“Why would I believe anything you say?”

“No one said you needed to believe me, but the fact you broke your silence means your worried that it’s true. You’re not the strong silent schemer you thought you were. There’s no strength in holding your tongue when the object of your insane and petty jealousy is no longer around. I’m leaving Keith’s here with his family, and don’t see myself returning. My children and I, my family, will be returning to live in the place he wanted to settle down in. I don’t care what you think, I’m done with you. We’re all done with you”

The human mind was amazing when it wanted to be. The coldness Lance projected stilled his racing heart and dries his tears. Everything he’d felt up until that point seemed to vanish away as his face settled on a rather neutral expression. None of this meant anything particularly. He felt no stab of pain in his heart as he described Keith as gone... just a kind of emptiness where that pain should be. Turning, he started to walk away from the cell

“Don’t you walk out on me! You didn’t deserve him! You ruined him! I’m glad he’s dead! Being hated by him to the very depths of his soul means I was never far from his mind in his last thoughts. You’re nothing but a murderer and a whore. A piece of shit stuck to the bottom of his boot! He told me he didn’t even wish for you children! He didn’t wish to be entwined that way with you. He very rarely spoke of you until you returned to ruin him. You might believe he loved you, but if he hated me as you say, then I was in his thoughts as he died and that ultimately means I meant more to than you. You’re an abomination of nature. It’s laughable that you were ever a Paladin”

“You know, for a guy who you say you hate, you seemed to love talking about me. You seemed to really love stalking me. Slandering me across the intergalactic media. Yet, you still mean nothing to me. Klearo means more to me than you. So maybe that means you’re simply so insignificant that I’m going to forget you the moment I walk out the door. You went after “Daibazaal’s Shining Prince”. You have no friends left in the universe, no, they already confessed when they learned of Keith’s condition”

“Keith should have been with his own kind!”

Continuing to walk, each step grew a little easier as the weight on his shoulders lessened. He wouldn’t be surprised if Shiro called to tell him Krystaal had taken his own life sometime over the next few quintants. Keith would grieve, because his husband was a caring idiot, but Lance... he held no sympathy for him.

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tomwambsgansdefender · 5 years

Text

Can’t things go back to normal 2

OC Kate Stone x Dad! peter stone

This one is centered around mostly OC Elizabeth Stone being the badass mom she is

Featuring an OC Jaime Logan & hints a Jaime x Rafael x Sonny relationship (and what about it?) also totally out of character everyone else pls give a b a break 😩

“Hey Katie! Guess what I managed to snag up for you?!” Adam had snagged onto Kate’s arm as she tried to solemnly walk down the hall. It had been three weeks since her father ditched her... had not even bothered to call back. It broke Kate’s heart into a million little pieces. Although she spent her time doing research on his work and his little team he worked with... an unnecessary vendetta becoming quite evident against one Olivia Benson. Kate was using a scape goat... although Elizabeth truly did believe Olivia Benson and her squad were the reason peter put kate into the dust. Kate was brought back into reality by Adam pushing her sophomore picture packet into her face. “Adam- I cant afford these I already told you-“

“No I paid for them, well my mom did... she heard from Ronnie about how your dad ditched the baseball game and you had spent all your cash on it...” Adam explained before hugging the girl for a second.

“Oh... well... thanks.” She said giving him a soft smile. Her friends were all worried...

it was not a surprise to Elizabeth when four teenagers showed up in her cubicle at work. She’d felt it coming. “Mrs. Stone were really worried about Katie...” Adam explained to which Elizabeth gave them a sad smile. “She’s pulling away from us, she just looks... dejected, unwanted.... but not by you we know you’re the best woman on planet earth she brags about having the best mom...” Ronnie began to explain when Elizabeth cut them off turning in her chair to look at them.

“Peter, her father I know... Listen you guys, thank you for coming to me about it... I plan on going to New York to talk to him myself... also Adam here- give this to your mom.” She had handed the boy an envelope filled with picture money. “But I need you guys to look after Kate that day okay? Just keep her company rent movies or go somewhere... just don’t remind her of peter.” She spoke quietly getting curt nods and soft smiles from the girls friends

“Yes ma’m.” Adam had replied.

“Hey! Peter it’s me, Elizabeth- I was calling to let you know I’m in New York for a conference and I wanted to get lunch- I brought copies Kate’s sophomore pictures for you! Love you.” She had said as she walked down the busy street in New York. Voicemail... again. “Elizabeth!”

She could hear her cousin yell a block up the street. The precinct was her first stop. “Hey! Jaime! I’m so happy to see you?! How are the boys?” She asked giving the woman a hug once the two met half way.

“They’re amazing... how’s Katie? I just saw Kyle yesterday he came over to do laundry.”

“Oh Katie she’s... you know she’s not doing too well.... she’s been really down- about Peter...” Elizabeth frowned which made Jaime frown harder. “I can’t believe he did that, stayed in New York to work on such a stupid case with Olivia when I told him we could handle it...” Jaime internally just wanted to beat him up.. although sonny held her on a short leash on allowing that. “Anyway... he’s actually here now. Let’s go bombard him and cue him in.”

Elizabeth had lost it the second she saw him... all she had seen was red. “Excuse me sorry do you mind if I borrow MY husband for a second.” She had demanded to Olivia who seemed shocked she would speak to someone in that manner. “Well uhm can you-“

“No, it can’t wait. I’ve waited long enough.” She said pushing the woman out of her own office slamming the door. “You. You absolute bastard.”

“What the hell was that?!” Olivia asked Jaime more confused than anything. “She’s angry Olivia... their daughter Kate is really suffering- she spent all her money on a baseball game for them to go to when he promised to go visit and you know what... he lied to her and broke her heart just to please you and the rest of this squad.” Jaime wasn’t caring about how she made her feel. “Relax doll, you’re gettin upset.” Sonny had said resting a hand on her shoulder and leading her away.

Meanwhile in the office Elizabeth had indeed read peter the riot act. “Peter you broke her heart! You just took it and stomped on it! She spent all her saved money on those tickets and all you did was leave her high and dry! You know what she asked me- she asked me if you loved her.” Peter had to stop her because he was in shock down to the fact that Elizabeth came all the way from Chicago to tell him off. “She knows I love her.”

“Does she really? Does she? Do you even know what she looks like now? I mean you’ve kinda ignored her for almost a year.” Elizabeth condescended

Peter scoffed before letting out a small sigh. “She looks just like Pam. But with your eyes and that spark... I just- I don’t want her to see me like this.... I’m not a good person Elizabeth. I’ve been... drinking too much and I’ve... Ive been thinking about breaking your heart too.” He said finally looking into her eyes to watch them fall. “But I’m not... I won’t. I can’t do that to you.” He said stepping closer to her.

“She needs you peter... I can’t keep doing this.. I can’t keep going home to an empty house... because it’s making me a bad person too.”

“I know... I know.. I promise it’s gonna get better... as soon as this case is over- why don’t you guys come stay in New York for a bit... I can talk to your boss, I can talk to her school.. Elizabeth I wanna fix this.”

Elizabeth nodded numbly pulling out the envelope of school pictures from her purse. “But what about the apartment?”

Peter had slowly took the envelope letting his hand touch hers for a minute. “It’ll be a week tops I promise... we can let one of her little friends watch it... Adam?” He suggested which made Elizabeth laugh. She now knew he had listened to her and Katie’s voicemails. “Yeah sure, Adam. Go on open them you won’t believe how beautiful she is-“

Peter followed Elizabeth’s directions looking at her face studying it for a second before pulling Kate’s picture out. “Wow...” he whispered looking to Elizabeth. “I know...”

he had suddenly set the pictures and envelope down on Olivia’s desk before bringing Elizabeth into a tight hug. It took Elizabeth a moment but she had hugged back.

“I’m sorry.... for leaving you and Kate high and dry... for leaving our marriage high and dry for putting you through that and then telling you I almost wanted to get a divorce. I don’t... I’m gonna get better for you, for Katie.” He swore to himself, he couldn’t loose anymore time with them. Never again. He could look at Kate and see Pam but the biggest difference was that he could talk to Kate again, hug Kate. And it was his new goal... to make it all up to his family. No matter what he had to do.

#peter stone x reader #svu x reader #svu oc #svu imagines #peter stone imagines

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takadasaiko · 5 years

Text

Always Been You (A Tony fix-it fic)

Fantastic... apparently updating a tag caused tumblr to eat the entire chapter? Let’s try this again.

FFN II AO3

Summary: When Thanos follows the team through time, he inadvertently splinters off countless alternate timelines.

Part Three

She had finally found some quiet, if not some peace. Tony was resting, painkillers and injuries pulling him into a deep enough sleep that Bruce seemed convinced they wouldn't get any more answers from him that night. He had left along with several others. Peter and Happy were the only ones that had elected to stay, Strange promising that if anything went wrong he was just a portal away. Not that Pepper knew how to get ahold of him, but that didn't seem to be in question as he stepped through a swirl of gold and sparks to leave her staring.

That had been hours before. Now, with Morgan tucked into bed and Peter and Happy crashed out, Pepper had stepped outside to try to claim a few moments to process what was happening. She wasn't sure exactly how long she had been sitting on the step on their front porch, gaze fixed through a tree that had long since blurred into colours rather than shapes. Everything had gone still, leaving her floating in her own raging thoughts.

The sound of thrusters forced her to blink, clearing her vision as the War Machine suit eased down and the helmet unlocked to reveal a familiar face. Pepper stood. "I've been trying to reach you for hours!"

Rhodey stepped out of the suit, the deep bruises from the earlier battle against Thanos showing in full in the porch light. He looked exhausted. "Not the best cell service out there right now, but I got your message. Is it really him? How?"

Pepper cringed. Despite the bags under his eyes and the bruises littering his skin, he sounded hopeful, and why not? Tony had come back from so much. Three months as a prisoner in Afghanistan, nearly killed by the arc reactor keeping him alive, redirected a nuclear bomb into space on his shoulders, Killian, Ultron, the fight with Steve, and a month lost drifting in space trying to kill a Titan…. It was a lot. It was too much. Everyone had their limits and Pepper knew he'd reached his. It had cost him his life, and for all the amazing and terrifying things they had seen, not one of them had come back from the dead. Not really.

"Pepper?" Rhodey called softly.

"It's not him," she managed, reaching up to tub at tired eyes. "He's…. a version of Tony is how Bruce explained it. From another timeline." She hated watching his shoulders fall and feeling like she had somehow killed his hope.

"Then why is he here?"

She pursed her lips. "Apparently he lost everyone in his timeline. He told Steve he…. needed to see everyone."

"You and Morgan."

Pepper glanced over, the question never making it off her tongue as her husband's best friend offered the first smile she'd seen in what felt like forever. Maybe it was really just since the funeral. He shrugged. "I've known that man a lot of years, Pepper. He came back for you."

"He didn't come back. He came here," she all but snapped.

He tilted his head. "You said he lost everyone, right? So he fought Thanos just like we did. I know Bruce seemed to think we could split off alternate realities if we screwed with the timelines too badly. Maybe that's what happened."

"That doesn't make him our Tony."

"Doesn't make him not." Rhodey leaned against the railing.

A short, mirthless laugh escaped at that and Pepper took a heavy seat on the porch step and leaned forward so that her elbows were braced against her knees.

"You mind?" Rhodey asked, motioning to the empty space next to her and nodded. He took the seat. "What's got you so tied up?"

She swallowed hard. That was the question, wasn't it? It took a moment for her to pull her thoughts into something that she hoped would make some kind of sense. She opened her mouth, closed it, and repeated the motion again before squeezing her eyes closed, finding the core of her hesitation. "What if it's not him?" There was a long moment and she pulled in a trembling breath. "I want him to be, Rhodey, but what if I think he is, if I accept he is, and he's not? If I…." Betray him sounded dramatic, but the man she's married, the man she had loved had died. Did she want this man to be him at his core? Of course she wanted it, but she wasn't sure what was right.

Rhodey loosed a long breath next to her. "We've seen a lot of crazy shit."

"You think it's really him?"

"I haven't talked to him yet, but if there's anybody stubborn enough to beat both death and time, it's Tony Stark. Hell, he's beat death more times than I can count."

The smallest of smiles tugged at her lips and she leaned into the man next to her. She wasn't sure if he was right - hell, he wasn't sure he was right - but if she weren't careful his hope might catch. If she weren't careful, she would willingly let it catch.

Aunt May had left some time before, but he had decided to stay despite her hesitation. He couldn't leave, not with Mr Stark there and alive. Peter had taken up Captain America's post watching over the sleeping, injured man when the older man had left to go help with the cleanup mission. It had been hours since then, though, and no matter how determined he was to stay awake, Peter's body was making him fight for it.

Light flooded into the room and he jerked back from the edge of sleep, jolting upright in the wingback chair he had slumped down in. Brown eyes squinted towards the door and tried to adjust, but all he saw was the light. Then he looked down and saw little Morgan Stark sneaking in. Her own dark eyes latched onto him and she held her finger to her lips in a gesture that Peter had to assume she was mimicking from her father. He flashed her a grin and mirrored it, unfolding. "Hey. Aren't you supposed to be in bed?" he asked her in a hushed voice.

She scrunched her little nose up in thought. "Wanna see Daddy," she said and looked back to him. "Aren't you 'spose to be in bed?"

"Probably," the teen superhero murmured and glanced over to where Mr Stark was sleeping.

"What's that?" Morgan asked, pointing at the medical equipment by the bed, all of it reading steady.

"That's just to make sure he's okay."

"Sick?"

"Sorta," Peter said hesitantly. She was four, Pepper had told him. What do you tell a four-year-old when their dad was hurt? To be fair, though, she'd thought he was dead a few hours earlier. He hadbeen. Hurt was better than dead any day.

Morgan climbed up onto the bed without warning and Peter swallowed his protest, waiting to see if she'd wake him. A small part - a selfish part, he knew - kind of hoped she did. He had barely seen the older man since his return. A hop through a portal, an unexpected hug on the other side, and before he knew it Mr Stark was sacrificing his life so the rest of them could live.

And then he was gone. Just like that. Dead and gone, seemingly forever, but Peter had been too, he guessed. Snapped out of existence. It made sense if he was from an alternate timeline that he was basically their Mr Stark. All but that terrible ending. It made sense, he thought. He was definitely willing to believe it.

"Hey, Daddy?" Morgan called in a loud whisper, poking his cheek. "Daddy?"

A soft groan came from the injured man and Peter saw him shift, and it looked like he looked up at Morgan. "Hey you," her dad greeted roughly.

"You wanna juice pop? Make you feel better?"

A snort of laughter escaped Mr Stark and Peter saw him reach up, bopping a finger against his daughter's nose. "You know what makes me feel even better than a juice pop?"

"Huh?"

"You. C'mere," he prompted and she leaned down so that he could kiss her round little cheek, Morgan giggling all the way. "Love you three thousand."

"Hey! That's mine!" she protested, but didn't sound too put out.

"I know, but it's a good one. Can I borrow it? Only for you though."

"Only for me though," she echoed and laid down next to him, snuggling in like she had no intention of leaving.

Mr Stark shifted, pressing a kiss to her hair and Peter suddenly felt like he was intruding, but he had no idea how to slip out without calling attention to himself and making it even more awkward. He was weighing his options when he heard the older man clear his throat. "Hey, Pete?"

Okay. So much for going unnoticed. "Hi…. uh, I was just —"

Mr Stark reached out with the hand not tethered by the various machines and IVs - only the little girl who was already asleep nestled against him - and Peter moved over instantly. "You okay?"

He took the offered hand. "Yeah. Yeah, of course. Are you —?"

"Thought I'd lost you again," his mentor murmured, squeezing Peter's hand, and it looked like the painkillers were already pulling him back into a drowsy sleep.

"You saved my ice. All of our lives." Peter swallowed hard, the weight of the emotions making it difficult to speak. "You found us again, Mr Stark. You came home."

He was already asleep though, Morgan snoring softly against her father and Peter felt a smile tug into place. He gave the hand in his one final squeeze before easing it down on the bed and starting for the door. There'd be time. He was home. He was okay. They were all going to be okay.

It was late. She and Rhodey had talked for a long while and then had sat in silence, letting it all sink in. Pepper had known she wouldn't be able to sleep, but at least she had been able to talk through everything that was whirling around her mind. She didn't have the answers, but at least she wasn't alone.

She offered Rhodey any space he could find to sleep, but they found Hapy still crashes out on the couch and Peter had taken up residence on a small sofa, long legs bent over the arm. They looked peaceful, or something close to it.

The plan has been to check on Morgan and then go rest her own eyes for at least a few minutes, but Pepper found her daughter's room empty. It didn't take a lot to put together where she had gone.

The guest bedroom was dark save the soft glow of the monitors. Pepper peaked into the room to see something she'd seen many times before: Morgan half draped over Tony, father and daughter sound asleep. Pepper chewed on her bottom lip as she watched them, both oblivious, and she could feel that desperate small hope setting in despite her best efforts. It was in the way that Morgan had tucked herself into the crook of his shoulder and the way he was half curled on his side, his face relaxed in sleep. She missed him. There was no question that she did miss him. The question was in if she would have to continue to.

Pepper drew in a shaky breath and wiped at the tears threatening. She'd talk to him in the morning and make her own judgement call. Know one knew Tony Stark like she did. She'd know, and she thought that might be what terrified her the most: the possibility of having to say goodbye all over again. Of giving up that hope that was starting to take hold.

Knowing was better, though. It had to be.

TBC

Notes: Well this is turning out longer than I meant for it to be... When I started it I promised myself I would only write a two, three parter at the absolute most, but here we are, and there's at least one more part to write. Ah well... That's what happens when I remember how much I've missed writing MCU fanfiction

#endgame fix it fic #endgame spoilers #tony stark #pepper potts #morgan stark #peter parker #james rhodes #pepperony #iron dad

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whiskynottea · 6 years

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The Ripple Effect

Previously Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20

AO3

T/W: Major character death.

Chapter 21. Faith

I opened my eyes to see the two paramedics next to me, and I vaguely realized that I was in an ambulance. The siren was loud, hurried.

I felt dizzy. The pain vibrated through my body, making me want to curl up and cry.

I looked around, searching for Jamie, but he was nowhere to be found. I closed my eyes and thought of his crooked smile, of his slanted eyes full of love.

The image of his body taking the crash’s impact flashed in front of my eyes, pushing every happy memory away.

I passed out again.

The hospital corridors around me were familiar, but their sterility seeped in my body; cold, hostile, unsafe. I shouldn’t be in a hospital. Not again.

The stretcher I lay on was moving fast, so fast that the stuff jogged around it to keep up with me.

I ran a hand over my crotch.

Blood. Fresh, crimson.

Not again. Please, please, not again.

I gripped the hand that grasped the stretcher close to mine. It belonged to a bony and tall nurse, her lips a thin line on her face.

“No,” I pleaded. “Not yet. It’s too soon.”

She gave me a compassionate look and nodded, her eyebrows knit together. “I ken, lass.”

She knew. And yet, I could tell by the look in her eyes that there was nothing she could do. There was nothing I could do.

I heard Jamie’s voice in my mind, telling me to have faith. I set my jaw and swallowed hard.

“My husband?” I asked. “He was with me,” I added, tugging at her sleeve when she didn’t turn to look at me.

“He hasna arrived yet,” she said, matter-of-fact. The policeman who called us asked for three ambulances. The other two are still on the way.”

Jamie in an ambulance, away from me. Separated, unable to give solace to each other.

He had to be safe, to come back to me as soon as he could. I needed to grasp his hand and listen to his deep voice keeping the fears at bay. I needed him more than ever, and yet, he wasn’t there.

I started panicking. I was alone, and I couldn’t feel Faith.

“My baby,” I whispered, placing my bloody hands on my belly. “My baby isn’t moving.”

The nurse’s lips had almost disappeared from her pale face, and she looked at me though exhausted eyes, clad in black circles. “We’re taking ye for an ultrasound right now.”

I took a deep breath, and the hospital’s scent invaded my nostrils like an old friend. It seemed to mock me for my failure, for lying on the stretcher instead of running next to it.

The exam room was quiet, dimly lit. The gel on my belly, cold. My side, empty. Jamie was supposed to stand there, by my side, as he had always done.

I fixed my eyes on the screen, waiting.

The black and white recording of the ultrasound had the image of my daughter. Still there, and a bit bigger than I remembered. Curled up, with a tiny fist next to her heart.

Her silent heart.

I clenched my own hands in fists, waiting, hearing my heart beating alone in my body. All alone, waiting for hers.

It couldn’t be. The ultrasound machine might be broken, the volume too low.

The time passed, but there was no movement, no sound. The examination room was enfolded in an eerie silence.

A heart in the making, with millions of beats waiting ahead, hushed abruptly. A muscle that didn’t contract, leaving stalled blood in her veins and arteries.

“Come on baby,” I pleaded, my tears blurring the picture on the monitor. I brushed them furiously away, afraid I would lose the tiny movement that would confirm that my girl was still alive.

A buzzing filled my ears, thousand of wasps around me, their stings painful on my body. And yet, I felt nothing inside. I didn’t want to feel, to think. I didn’t want to accept the realization that was forced upon me.

This wasn’t happening. I had promised to keep her safe. I had told her all would be okay.

The same tired, sympathetic nurse led me to a room, helped me settle on the bed, and administered an IV. Finally, she patted my shoulder with a sorrowful smile. “I’m sorry for your loss,” she said.

I looked at her, lost. My loss. It couldn’t be.

“Dinna hesitate to ring for help.” Her voice was soft and tender, but I felt it coming from miles away. “My name is Crook. Just press the button and I’ll come promptly.”

I nodded, and instinctively ran a hand on my belly. Still there, still full. As if nothing had happened.

I felt exhausted. With my hand still on my belly, waiting to feel Faith, I succumbed to sleep.

I woke up in the darkness, my dream still fresh in my memory. Faith had woken me, kicking like a wee fiend. I turned to tell her Da, but he wasn’t there.

Neither was our bedroom. The soft light on the hospital’s white walls blew the dream away. Faith hadn’t kicked.

I waited in silence, barely breathing so I wouldn’t miss her move. But it never came.

My baby was still. My girl’s heart had gone quiet. The ultrasound monitor was working properly.

The only thing I heard was my own heart, breaking. A smashing sound, filling the world with tiny pieces that crashed on to the walls and fell on the floor, ensuring that the shards would never be mended again.

A cry left my lungs before I realized it. It was guttural, inhuman. It tore my throat, running through the hospital corridors, trying to find a way out – to the sky. To her.

But she was too far away to listen.

My womb was full, and yet, I was empty. My soul was lost, somewhere between a baby kick and a cry I would never listen to. I could still sense her, curled up, silent, featherlight. And yet, she wasn’t there.

I had lost Faith, and with her I lost a part of myself.

Sobs started wracking my body, sobs that I couldn’t control, waves of grief crushing upon me, molding my shape, changing me forever.

Mrs Crook came to my room even though I hadn’t called for her. She whispered soothing words that I didn’t hear and injected something in my IV. I wished it was poison.

With both hands cradling my belly, my dead baby, my dead dreams, I cried until I fell asleep. In my sleep, I dreamed of a redheaded girl, running in a field of barley, golden like her skin, looking at a sky as blue as her eyes.

When I woke up, I had almost forgotten what was real and what not. I was almost sure that I had dreamed of the accident, the blood, Faith’s unnervingly silent heart. At that moment, I had convinced myself that all was well, and I looked around, searching for Jamie. That second, that split second, I was happy.

Then I saw Geillis sitting in the chair next to my bed. And I remembered.

“My baby,” I whispered, looking desperately at her, and I felt a fresh wave of tears running down my cheeks. “My baby girl,” I repeated.

Pain; unending, unforgiving.

Geillis, the always sharp-witted Geillis, had nothing to say. She came to sit on the bed next to me, wrapped her arms around my body, and rocked us both, my Faith and me, equally dead inside.

“Jamie?” I asked in a hoarse voice after a while, and she pulled away to look into my eyes.

“He’s okay, he’ll be okay,” she said with a trembling smile.

“Where is he?”

“In the OR. Hildegarde came from our hospital and is operating on his hand,” she said, and seeing my distress, she repeated, “He’s okay. He’ll be okay.”

That didn’t sound reassuring at the least.

“What has happened?” I asked. “Nobody has told me.”

“You crashed on the traffic barrier, but fortunately Jamie had reduced your car’s speed, and the impact was minor. Both airbags opened – ”

“I know,” I interrupted her. “The airbag killed Faith,” I said, and my voice cracked. “It’s a placenta abruption, right?”

“Yes.” Geillis swallowed hard, trying to stop the tears before leaving her emerald eyes. “Jamie would end up with bruises and light injuries like you – ”

I snorted. Light injuries. I had never thought that tearing my heart out would be considered as a light injury.

Geillis looked at me and frowned. “You know what I mean,” she defended herself. “Anyway, Jamie would be okay, if not for the second crash. The car that pursued yours went straight to a head-on collision with the truck.”

“And?”

Why did it take her so long to explain such a simple thing?

“The truck was heavy, thank god, and didn’t move much from the collision’s impact. It’s rear side, however, dented the side of your car. Jamie’s side.” I held my breath, unsure if I wanted her to continue. “Jamie was lucky,” Geillis added hurriedly. “He only got injured on his right side – leg and hand.”

“How bad?�� I asked in my doctor’s voice, afraid that if she witnessed my meltdown she would stop sharing the information she had acquired.

“His leg has a deep gash that will leave a mark, but other than that it’s fine. His hand, however, got trapped between the dented door and the steering wheel. We still don’t know if it will ever be fully functional again.”

“His vitals?”

“All fine. Like yours.”

Like mine. Which exactly of my vitals was working fine, I wondered.

“Geillis?” I asked after a while. It was strange that she hadn’t asked any questions. So strange, that it showed how bad things really were.

“Tell me,” she leaned towards me with a smile.

“What happened to the other man? The one who pursued us?”

“He was dead already when they brought him to the hospital. He died at the collision,” she said and frowned, looking at me. “Who was he Claire? What did he want?”

“Randall,” I simply said. “My worst nightmare,” I added, and closed my eyes, wishing the conversation to be over.

Randall was dead. I was finally free. But it was a hard-won freedom, and I didn’t know what to do with it.

A life for a life, I thought, and started crying again.

“Claire,” Geillis said when my sobs quietened. “We need to talk about you.”

“About me?”

“Ye have to give birth, Claire. You can either wait, or we can proceed with the induction today.”

“I want Jamie to be with me,” I said, biting my lip hard to block the tears inside. “I can’t do it without him.”

Geillis nodded, but I saw a shadow lurking in her eyes. “Okay, then. We’ll wait until tomorrow.”

We fell silent, until I spoke again, a few minutes later. “Geillis,” I whispered. “I don’t want to lose her.”

The dam broke again. I cried in her arms until I fell asleep, grateful for finding a way out of reality.

The next morning Jenny had taken Geillis’ place next to my bed.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, surprised, when I saw her. It was a long way from Lallybroch.

“Of all the places in the world, Claire, this is the one I should be.”

She had been crying. Her eyes were puffy and red rimmed, the silver trails on her cheeks shining under the daylight. She held my hand, and then took me in a crushing embrace, as if she was trying to force life back inside me.

“Jamie?” I asked.

“He hasna woken up yet. It was a long surgery.”

I nodded. “How did it go? Did they tell you?”

“Aye, they did. The doctor said his hand will never look the same again, but he will be able to use it, eventually.”

“Good,” I breathed, then hesitated. “Jenny, does he know?”

Jenny shook her head. “I dinna think so. Geillis told me he was unconscious when they brought him in, then woke up crying and calling yer name. They gave him sedatives and he fell asleep. He hasna woken after his surgery, so I couldna talk to him.”

“I’ll tell him once he’s awake,” I announced, setting my jaw. “Was I on sedatives too?” I asked as an afterthought.

Jenny gave me a sorrowful smile, one that wordlessly replied to my question. “They doctor said ye have to go into labor,” she said at last.

“No,” I denied, feeling I’d said the same thing one million times. “I’ll do this when Jamie is better. I don’t want to be alone. He is supposed to be there.” My voice broke mid-sentence, and I stopped Jenny with a raised hand before she could come closer to hug me. Love elicited more feelings than I could handle.

In the afternoon, Mrs Crook came to my room again, rested and ready to start another shift. “Lass,” she said, squeezing my hand. “Nothing will change, ken? Tis better to proceed now.”

“Why isn’t my husband here?” I asked, as if it was her fault that Jamie was away.

“He’s on heavy painkillers. He isna in condition to witness a labour.”

“I’ll wait,” I said, determined. “I’ll wait until he’s better.”

Jenny talked before the nurse could voice her disagreement. “I’ll come wi’ ye, Claire. Better the wrong Fraser than no Fraser at all, aye?”

“But Jamie would want to be there,” I said, crying, as I slowly accepted that he wouldn’t be. “He would want to be there no matter what…”

I gave birth to my dead daughter, committing in memory every single minute. I carved every single detail of the process on my heart, while wishing the doctor to tear me apart, to break me into pieces so I couldn’t feel anymore.

She never cried, and never reached for my breast. I belatedly realized that I didn’t have milk to give her yet. But I would have, in a few months. Milk made for her. Useless.

Faith lay in my arms, born and still. A porcelain doll, with my white skin and Jamie’s red hair. With ten fingers and ten toes. With faint red eyebrows laid over closed eyes.

And I sang to her. And I called her by her name. And I wished she would be alive. And I lived, and yet I died.

Jenny had brought with her a light green bodysuit with pink elephants. The evening after the birth she gave it to me with tears in her eyes, explaining that she had bought it a few weeks ago, for Faith to leave the hospital with the clothes her auntie gifted her. We dressed Faith together, brushing tears away only to make room for more to come.

Sometime in the night, Jenny told me that Jamie had woken up from his morphine sleep. I took Faith with me in her beautiful outfit, holding her tight against my chest, and walked to his room.

I walked to him, needing him to hold us both. To listen to him whispering soft Gaelic words to our girl, even though she wouldn’t listen to his wobbly voice. To share the burden of loss with the only person who could really understand.

His eyes were closed when we entered his room. I walked quietly across the darkness to stand next to his bed, but he felt me before I could talk and opened his eyes.

“Sassenach,” he said with a dreamy smile, his eyes darting from me to Faith in my arms.

He looked at me as if I was holding the world in my hands. A second, his own split second, of happiness.

And then, the heartbreak.

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “No, no, no. It’s too soon.”

“I know,” I whispered. “I’m sorry, Jamie.” I stood still, cupping Faith’s head, rocking her with my sobs. “This is all my fault. I’m so sorry. She’s not here.”

A growl left his throat, deep and painful, but he patted the bed next to him. I sat down, facing him.

“Never say that again, Claire. Never, d’ye hear me?” Tears rolled down his cheeks, but his voice was sober. I dropped my eyes somewhere between his clavicles, ashamed. “Listen to me,” he said, authoritatively, tilting my chin up so I could see him. “Tis not yer fault. Nobody loved Faith more than ye - more than we did. More than we still do.”

He hugged us both then, and in the silence of the night, we made the perfect picture – if someone was far enough to misinterpret the painful tears with happy ones.

Two heart were beating in that room instead of three. And these two, kept a mournful rhythm, one of loss and powerlessness.

Jamie traced Faith’s face with a finger that seemed gigantic, but the way he did it was so gentle, that I thought his bones would break.

“Mo ghraidh,” he whispered, and I knew that this time he wasn’t calling me. “Hello wee one, it’s yer Da.”

And with that, with the same words he used to greet her when she was alive inside me, Jamie broke the last fragment of my heart that had remained untouched.

We sat awake all night, telling her stories about our family. About what her life would be, if it hadn’t stopped abruptly. About her uncles and grandparents. About her cousin, who had gifted her his little yellow duck to play with, when we would bathe her. About the love that bound us all.

We stayed awake all night, in a tight embrace, wishing the sun never to come out. Wishing that a miracle would happen, and our little family would be whole again.

But the miracle had happened, and we held her in our arms. Ten fingers and ten toes. Two closed eyes, dreaming of a better world.

In the morning, we buried our Faith.

A/N: I know most of you (all of you) think that this is cruel. And that’s because it really is.

This is a decision I made from the first moment I plotted this story, before I got personally attached to the characters. Did I have second thoughts while writing about Claire’s pregnancy and Faith? Of course I did. But the reasoning for my initial decision didn’t change.

First, I wanted to write a modern AU of Jamie and Claire’s story as we see it in Outlander/Dragonfly in Amber, and the impact of Black Jack Randall on their lives is detrimental in these books. So, my decision to follow canon had predestined Faith’s future. In canon Jamie and Claire live this death, and carry it with them forever. It makes them who they are. And I wanted this, but I did diverge from canon on a point. I wanted them to mourn their loss together. To hold their baby together.

The second reason is my love for real stories. It’s not that I don’t love happy endings - I do. But the truth is that approximately 1 in 200 births ends in a stillbirth. It’s horrific, but it happens. And these parents without babies keep living, and they go on. I’m not saying that they forget, but they go on. So I wanted to write a story to honor them.

This was the last chapter of this story, but it’s not where this journey ends. Next week I will post an Epilogue, in which we will find Jamie and Claire in the future, and see how their story continued.

Thank you all for reading. Truly.

Epilogue

#The Ripple Effect #modern au #jamie x claire #tw: major character death #Outlander fanfic #outlander fanfiction

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peachesforjae · 5 years

Text

Neocity in Vancouver

Hey so I wanted to write a little “the vibe I got and what actually went down” for each of the boys from the vancity show! No one asked for this but my extra ass wants to do it anyways so enjoy!! Also it’s a given but all of this could be false so please don’t come for me.

TAEIL

this mans vocals oooooof i mean we been knew but hearing it live ?????? 10/10 confirmed that this man really has been blessed by an angelic voice. probably the most stable voice i’ve ever heard live

his singing voice and talking voice are the same irl, same with visuals (there was this one part were he was trying to be sexy and lemme tell u that my heart started beating faster and i started s w e a t i n g)

he didn’t talk much during the ments (i really wished he did, even if it was in korean) and i personally felt like he didn’t get as much cheers as the other boys (NCTZENS YOU COWARDS HOW DARE YOU 😤)

would sell my soul to have a mini taeil in my pocket. i can tell that he has the sweetest heart and is the most humble guy, he would be the greatest husband ever u can’t fight me on it

JOHNNY

looking for the embodiment of the word flirt?? well look no further. he is really out here thinking our lives are a joke acting like your typical boy next door crush saying all the things that make your heart MELT

he is a tol boi (even tho i was sitting far away I could still tell that he is a giant) he probably was a sequoia tree in his past life or something idk but he is mr.tall and big

i haven’t seen anyone talk about this but his voice was a higher pitch irl,,,,,, like the videos will never catch it but it’s not as deep and omg his little lisp is QT. singing/rapping voice (sm give him more lines u hoes) was the same and his visuals were ever better

he did a body roll at one point and everyone LOST IT (i for real started crying) he is so handsome and ugh every time he came on screen/talked he got the loudest cheers (next to mark) he is such a genuine and heartwarming person i wish he could just be my friend that’s all i want in life

TAEYONG

no surprises with this amazing person he really is THAT beautiful HIS EYES AND SMILE AND FACE I DIED and is a rap god. it was a little surreal seeing him standing there talking cuz like is he even real ???? was he actually a hologram ????? WHO KNOWS MAN WHO KNOWS

he is one of the best performers ive ever laid my eyes on. the charisma and aura that he has stunned everybody and all i had to say was woooooow, he left me shooketh. sm really hit the jackpot with him. he is one of the pillars that nct stands on and im thankful for it

voice and rap voice were the same irl nothing surprising of course we already know that he’s talented but the crowd did love and cheer for him lots. he started the show strong and ended it strong (also let us see his shoulders thank you sir)

when he wasn’t performing he stood back more to let the other members shine and do their thing (ooooof what a leader) but I did wish that he talked a little more during the ments that’s all i could’ve asked for. he gave me a chill but nervous(?) vibe idk how to explain it

DOYOUNG

this man is GORGEOUS irl his eyes were so mesmerizing and sparkly,,,,,,,he had the cutest smile ever and the vibe he gave off to me was a little intimidating but definitely confident. he knows that he’s talented and isn’t afraid to show it

like taeil his voice was the same irl and he is a vocal powerhouse too. stable and clean. really blessed my ears and soul whenever his mouth opened. his falsetto is NOT to be messed with👀 im not saying that he is a male version of ariana but that’s exactly what I’m saying

he really interacted with the fans during the ments and he was so funny (at one point he said something and we missed it and he started laughing and then said it again so we could scream for him,,,,,,,,,,,his ego im- skskskskskshd)

most iconic thing he said was that he wanted to keep going and going and going and that he didn’t want to leave like BOI JUST STAY THEN i can buy you a house and you can just stay in Canada sksksksj i wouldnt mind if he was my neighbor

YUTA

my fellow scorpi(h)o(e) birthday buddy loml person *insert gif of me crying* he really has a resting bitch face (same here) BUT HAS THE SWEETEST HEART AND SMILE i was falling so hard and fast for him. he would probably be my best friend if i ever met him

he was honestly like a little kid,,,,had so much energy and was laughing and jumping and acting all crazy, he joked around with us so much. but then when he performed it was all ✖️🔪☠️✖️💀 and I was feeling like 527273 emotions at once i didn’t know what to do

his voice sounded a little different irl but singing voice was beautiful *cough* sm give him more lines or i will come for you *cough* and his dancing is off the charts you can really tell he puts so much effort in to be an amazing performer. i’d say hes the next best dancer next to taeyong/haechan/mark

yall this boy deadass wore a toque and said that he looked like a canadian university student and kept saying “didn’t you guys know???” with the cutest little expression ever im DEAD INSIDE and ugh he is so caring for the other members and went to mark so many times during the show

JAEHYUN

ok yall know he’s my bias and can I just say that i died, went to highway to heaven, and came back every time he did ANYTHING ????? like anything. im a whipped bitch phew. my deadly crush on him got even bigger after this - bc he really is just a 21 y/o hot dude that i would fall for irl if i met him on the streets skdhcgljsdfg

singing voice ???? perfect. visuals ???? astonishing. hotel???? trivago. skskskks stop me. anyways lemme just say that this man goes HARD when he performs i was so concerned for him like pls chill a little. he kept milly rockin and pointing to the cameras and doing shoulder/body rolls and being a lil hoe (aka this was the best day of my life)

his smile is something to die for, there is a charm to it. also he is flirt no.2 after johnny. he knew EXACTLY what to say to get the attention and everyone gave him what he asked for. he kept on saying how he loved vancouver and had a crush on it. also called us HOT a few times😪

anytime he talked and came on screen he got loud cheers and he would soak it all in (meanwhile I was having a mental breakdown,,,,,the girl behind me kept looking at me every time like sis just let me die sheesh). he gives off chill but confident vibe - i would be terrified to approach him irl. really is a people pleaser and does things to earn him attention and love

JUNGWOO

babyboy.com ......... he really is the CUTEST member all I wanted to do was hold him and pat his lil head and tel him that everything was gonna be ok. he seemed really nervous but did an amazing job performing nonetheless but i do hope that he becomes more confident in himself when he’s on stage cuz he’d get more attention than he already does

they way he talks and acts is actually baby boy culture but i can tell that that’s just a mask to hide his true side, whatever that maybe, all i know is that we aint prepared for it. his eyes sparkled every time he talked and i know this is annoying but he really is snoopy. i won’t take it back.

like taeil, he didn’t talk much during the ments but still received lots of love and cheers when he did. i personally feel like he could be ncts secret weapon in some way but that is tbd. his vocals, voice, and visuals were the same irl he really couldn’t be anymore perfect.

he tried his best to talk in english and i want to thank him for it, IT WAS SO CUTEEEE. he started crying a little at one point when he was talking about touring and performing and my HEART BROKE like no bb come here I’ll just hug you and everything will be ok.

MARK

canadas boy. canadas treasure. canadas pride. canadas ass👀 and nctzens everything. he got the loudest cheers (obvi) and i swear every time he started to talk/rap/exist everyone would loose it and it made him flustered. he felt really touched by this show and im glad that we were able to make him feel like that

he gives off that typical high school boy crush vibe. he’s really THAT awkward young adult that has it all and doesn’t know what to do with it (you’ve definitely met someone just like him) he seemed a little nervous for the show which was a given and was so clueless when we started chanting his name😂 jaehyun had to take his in-ear thingy out and his face when he realized what we were saying KILLED me

his voice is the same irl but i personally felt like his looks stood out more. he looks more mature (?) in person. his eyes also SPARKLED like he really holds galaxies in his eyes. his smile and laugh really brought joy to my heart. i just wanna thank his parents for creating such a beautiful human being. also cheek bones

he talked about his day in vancouver and started to go down memory lane and was taking about how his school was closed on the day sm was holding auditions and how it’s been a decade since he’s come back (SM LET HIM VISIT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD) he also told us that he’s proud to be a canadian and that we’re lucky to live in such a beautiful place😭❤️ i- someone come hold me

HAECHAN

babyboy numero 2. he has the babiest face out of all of them but the SOFTEST voice legit sounds like an angel i assume. his hair and skin were flawless and people better stop wh*tewashing him LET HIS BEAUTY SHINE THROUGH PEOPLE

vocals sounded the same but the pitch of his talking voice is a little different. his smile got my heart racing and he has the cutest cheeks i wanna squishem so bad. he seemed a little shy and didn’t talk a lot during the ments. his stage presence really surprised me i legit started screaming “heee heee its haechan jackson” ksksksksks i hate myself

after they performed jet lag he straight up -no warning given- went “doesn’t it feel like we just went on a date?” LIKE BOI DO I LOOK- if you think I cried you’re absolutely right. he’s definitely johnnys son he’s LEARNING from the master of flirting. but he flirts in the most adorable way possible like how ????????

i would 12/10 die for him and also wouldn’t mind having a mini version of him around for emotional support and love. sm also hit the jackpot with haechan and i also feel like he’s another secret weapon in the group watch out yall i keep forgetting that he’s so young and that the best years are still ahead of him i can’t wait to see what the future has in store for such a talented person

Other Comments

i could really sense the exhaustion from the boys. they’ve been go go go from the beginning and i truly hope that they get a well deserved rest. nonetheless they put on a great show, hyped up the crowd, and made us fall in love with them even more. also they performed jet lag for us and lemme tell you that it was a B O P. i wanna say that i died when jaehyun called out the fake fans bc they didn’t know the album release date i LOVE his savage and petty ass😘, this was my first ever kpop concert and im so blessed to have seen nct127, as Johnny said, i can’t wait to see what our journey together has in store for us. im so glad they enjoyed their time in Canada (they kept saying how beautiful it was and how they want to come back to more cities hekwishehsos catch ur girl dying over here).

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