#my brother bought the most expensive one and i felt weird only having one and im fucking great at ebay bidding
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when i die if my family donates my hannibal shit whatever weird autistic kid that finds it in good will is LITERALLY gonna shit himself
#personal#so the making and art of hannibal arrived today! very excited about that#and i love/ hate tik toks that have like#someone finding legit a WHOLE collection of anything in good will or other stores#love bc happy for the poster who usually gets it for a steal!!! very excited!!!#hate bc either someone out grew a whole collection or died and their loved ones didn’t get it :(#like it’s fine whatever#but anyway was imaging if i died old and still had all my shit#no offense i’m gonna rock some freak ass weirdo who’s obsessed with this cult classic shows WORLD#i hope it’s a poor kid#like fuck them rich kids they can afford the over priced hannibal shit#i hope it’s a kid who’s poor and saves up a shit ton for any old hannibal shit they get and then BAM#but it is fucked up how much hannibal shit i have#like ignoring the posters#i have the art and making of hannibal#planning on getting that cook book by janice poon next paycheck#it’s my friends brithday and he LOVES hannibal and is a chef so i’m like say less if i’m already getting a copy…..#this is shameful but i got all the funko pops and the titan figures….#titans i wont even lie i did eat sleep for a bit but the funko pops that’s called#my brother bought the most expensive one and i felt weird only having one and im fucking great at ebay bidding#then i got like. four hannibal dolls#that took sooooo fucking long to save for dude but it was sooooo worth it#i need to get different bodies for them tho bc like#okay jiaou is good and all but a bitch for posing and changing clothes#and while i was saving up i bought a fuck ton of dolls clothes in between#so i’m thinking of getting some plastic body’s just to dress and pose#i still like the jiaou bodies they make me happy and feel real but also#i want to change the clothes without it being a whole ordeal and skin tearing#oh and i have a first edition red dragon and the rest of the books but not first editions#and all the scripts and the dvd set
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💛❞𝐖𝐞'𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞!❝💛
; Mammon carries you to the house of lamentation because you are too tired to keep walking.
; Gn!Reader.
; You don't have much confidence with Mammon yet.
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[Picture source; Pinterest. It belongs to whoever drew it, and please inform me if you know.]
The avatar of Greed was walking with two envelopes in his hands, in the mall.
You had been wandering around all day now, never stopping, going to visit every expensive shop that could be found there, since Mammon was over the moon; he won the lottery, and was delighted! He never stopped saying how many things he would and could buy with money, how happy he was; but he wanted someone to accompany him and of course the first person that came to mind was you.
And that's why at the moment you had a not too heavy black envelope in your hand, every step you took made your feet burn, your heels were very sore and you were tired. However, asking the demon next to you to stop a second wasn't exactly the best option; he would tease you for being so weak that you couldn't even walk much, complaining how because of you he would be late, like he always did.
It had been a short time since you joined Lord Diavolo's exchange program, so you had not a close enough relationship with the 6 brothers yet. In fact, you were even surprised that he chose you for shopping!
But after a few more minutes of walking, you stopped. Mammon kept walking and only when he was a few meters away he realized he was alone, and that only he was hearing his speech too. Was he talking to herself for 5 minutes?!
«HUMAN!» he yelled after a few seconds of realization, running towards you with the envelopes clutched in his hands; there was everything in there, all heavy stuff ( at least he gave you not too heavy stuff, knowing you couldn't be strong enough to lift all those things, he had really bought things that weighed kilos and kilos, so much weird devildom things you've never seen , not to mention the food).
You sat on a bench inside the mall, watching as he ran towards you, stopping and placing the bags next to your form and putting his hands on his hips. He didn't even have them red.. whatever, he was a demon, of course he was strong. After a few seconds you realized that you were staring at Mammon, lost in your own thoughts.
«OI! ARE YOU THERE? We have to get home before Lucifer loses his temper! I brought dinner, and it's HIS turn to cook, or else I'll have to do it AND deal with Beel as punishment! Ugh, why does everything always fall on me?! Hurry up!» he spoke as if he had been forced to take you shopping with him.. honestly he was the brother you disliked the most.
He treated you badly, like you were a nobody. He didn't even call you by your name! And he subdued you so much. He had a bad temper.. if only he had more respect towards you. For the moment, the one you liked most was Asmodeus; you didn't know him so well, but when you all ate together at the table he was the one that involved you the most in conversations, and he was always sweet with you.
Mammon grabbed your arm to pull you up, throwing a tantrum and still complaining that "you didn't have to stay there and you had to move to get home". It was boring.. he would have been more fun if he wasn't so rude to you.
«Mammon.. my feet hurts. I will come just let me rest a bit. It's hours we run and go everywhere non-stop» the avatar of Greed stared at you.
Demons walked around you, roaming the center withou problem, while the two of you eyed each other. He seemed annoyed and mostly frustrated.
But what he did next was unexpected. He snorted heavily and took all three envelopes in his left arm, leaving you empty handed, then bent down and with his right one he grabbed your waist and pulled you up bodily. Consequently you clung to his neck squealing softly, eyes widening slightly as you felt yourself being plucked off the bench and slammed onto his side.
«Let's just get this over with» he muttered as he proceeded to walk in the direction of the House of Lamentation.
You blinked a couple times, realizing what was happening before slowly resting your head on his shoulder. He didn't say anything, so you stayed that way.
Once you two were home, he put you down and complained about "having to carry you all the way there and that he was the one who was tired".
Your bed was really comfy. You throw yourself there as soon as you entered the room, closing your eyes and relaxing after the warmth of the blankets and the pillow under your head.
When you heard the door opening (no knocking?) You jumped and turned to look at who was disturbing your rest.
Mammon. Why was Mammon in your room?
«Hey, listen up, human! Whatever went down today... I only did it 'cause you were practically begging for help, alright?! You're so damn worthless and useless, can't even manage to stand on your own feet! Just count yourself lucky that the Great Mammon decided to bring you along!» you stared at him. For a long time. Then you turned away; that's why you didn't like him.
The demon gasped loudly, staring at you as if you had committed a sin, frowning «HEY! QUIT IGNORIN' ME!» he said deeply offended, but he did not approach you. And you continued to ignore him; you didn't want to listen to him one second longer.
After a while, you heard the door slam shut and you turned to see how you'd come back alone. Fortunately...
That night, you found yourself sleeping with him in your bed. He had a bad dream.. you wondered if he had at least a shred of dignity at that moment.
You patted his back while he squeezed your hips, hugging you, with his head on your shoulder. You sighed.
«There.. there..» you murmured, observing her perfectly white hair. They were really beautiful...
Well, it was no coincidence that Mammon was a model. And he really was, sometimes you had a hard time believing it ..
Comments and reblogs are welcome!
#obey me#lucifer obey me#mammon#obey me x reader#obey me lucifer#obey me funny#obey me x mc#obey me mammon#solomon#obey me x you#obey me mammon x reader#mammon x reader#mammon x mc#mc x mammon#reader x mammon
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We saw Kinky Boots last week, and friends, never in my life have I cried that hard during a musical.
Spoilers for Kinky Boots, Derry Girls, Stranger Things, and, uh, Pokémon Violet?
We bought the tickets like three months ago, and then three days before the show I suddenly thought “Hm, isn’t there a part where Lola sings to her dying estranged father?“
I looked it up, and there is in fact that part! Not only that, Charlie’s dad dies in like the first five minutes and one of the themes of the musical is Charlie filling his dad’s shoes (lol) and trying to make him proud/do what he wants with his life/be like him/not be like him.
“Gee,” I thought. “Better warn my brother. That might bring up some stuff.” But the tickets were expensive, particularly for a regional theatre, so off we went anyway.
So we got through most of the musical, and I was enjoying it (great show!), and I was a little on edge due to all the Dad™️ stuff but it was okay, and I knew we were coming to the Hard Part…and then LAUREN came out and started talking about how she felt when her dad died, and all I could think was “Jesus Christ, is everyone’s dad in this show dead??” That’s about when I started crying.
Right after that seen is Lola’s song to her estranged dad. If you don’t know it, it’s called “Hold Me In Your Heart” and it’s essentially about loving a difficult parent despite their flaws and needing them to love you too. I’d look it up. It’s worth a listen.
So Lola sang her song, and I actually full-out cried through it (I tried to be quiet, but I’m sure the people behind me noticed and goodness knows what they thought was wrong with me). Then a light came up on her dad sitting in a wheelchair, pretty zoned out. Lola walked over to him, says “It was good to see you, Daddy,” and put her hand on his shoulder. He didn’t say anything, didn’t really react, but then his hand came up to cover hers.
Lola visibly choked up, said “I love you,” and then left.
My brother and I didn’t, like, perform a drag show for our dying estranged dad. But, uh, the non-responsiveness? The hand coming up? THAT WAS KINDA LIKE WATCHING OUR GOODBYE WITH OUR DAD ONSTAGE.
So I was pretty much gone, and couldn’t really enjoy the finale.
My brother was…okay. He handled it better than I did, and he squeezed my hand throughout the entire scene. We react to different things.
The show was fantastic, by the way. Excellent cast. Lauren was amazing. I wish I had a recording of her song. It just so happened to be deeply personally triggering for me!
I feel like media is full of dead dads lately. I watched Season 3 of Derry Girls? SURPRISE, A DAD DIES! I played Pokémon Violet, a children’s game? SURPRISE, THE ESTRANGED DAD IS ACTUALLY DEAD! I got caught up on Seasons 3 and 4 of Stranger Things? SURPRISE HOPPER IS DEAD* AND OH LOOK ELEVEN FOUND A LETTER HE WROTE FOR HER BEFORE HE DIED! I went to see Kinky Boots! SURPRISE, EVERYONE’S DAD IS DEAD OR DYING!
Or maybe it’s just the frequency illusion. I think about dead dads (well, really one specific dead dad) a lot, I notice dead dads more.
There’s not really a point to this wall of text. Kinky Boots is a great show. Grief is weird. I should maybe avoid musicals with estranged-dead-dad-goodbye scenes.
Which is too bad, as I’d really like to see Fun Home.
*yes I know he's not dead that's not the point
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Need to get back onto my batman rogue design bullshit.
(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻
What I got so far (and subject to change of course):
Cult Leader Scarecrow - Jonathan creates a secret society as a front to experiment on willing participants and it eventually descends into an actual cult based around fear. The cult leader thing is a front at first but enough time huffing the fear toxin and the power of it goes to his head. Got some of that weird religious vibes, base of design has medieval executioner inspo, leaning heavily into the 'violent dancing' aspect and considering it with design as well.
Carnivorous Plant Poison Ivy - Shy Pamela Isley gets coerced into participating in experimentation that drastically changes her biology and gives her a taste for blood. Body becomes an ecosystem which plants can "root" into, her blood having the capabilities to mutate any plant species and turn them toxic, which becomes the basis of her scientific work to assist her ecological goals. This also, unfortunately, leaves her borderline anemic, forcing her to rely on her power over plants and their symbiotic connection. Design has somewhat "couture" vibes via various carnivorous and non carnivorous plants, use of roots to create lace-like look(?) Thick, woody vines for a corset(?) look and to make large "claws" over one or both hands. She's got them POINTY TEETH (Croc is no longer the only cannibal in these here parts).
Formerly White Trash Riddler - Born into poverty to white trash parents, Edward Nashton (later changed to Nigma, fuck you dad!!) learned young that he could not rely on his neglectful mother and to avoid his angry, alcoholic father. He found solace in solving things like puzzles and riddles, which helped him cope with frequent racing thoughts and focus his thinking. They eventually become a compulsion to alleviate stress, but it got bad enough that even seeing things which were half done or incomplete compelled him to try and complete (aka solve) them or otherwise left him frustrated.
Feeling he deserved better, his criminal career started in his teens and escalated from there. He could finally indulge in the expensive tastes he felt entitled to and, of course, bought the best of anything because he was the best. But normal crime got very boring and he wanted to feel challenged more. Thus, the Riddler was born! In his early career as a rogue, he enjoyed targeting corrupt corporations and banks, giving him a rather positive opinion amongst the public. Battling wits with Batman became his main form of enjoyment and, even though losing to him was frustrating, it only drove him to do better. However, at one point he noticed Batman was sending his little lackeys to confront him rather than face him himself. Thoroughly insulted, this began his descent towards a more aggressive path, utilizing hostages and threatening lives to assure the caped crusader couldn't ignore him anymore. He became more prone to fits of anger and violence (he's nothing like his horrible father though, he isn't he isn't) as the losses to Batman started to get to him. Still, even while sliding into the deep end, the image he projected to the public was one of class, refinement, and logic. Far less were savvy to the emotional, sailor-mouthed, painfully insecure man he really was.
Despite the inner turmoil, he looks very put together at all times. Favors three piece suits (and yes, they are extraordinarily expensive).
Near-Constant Identity Crisis Harley Quinn - With her criminal father in prison most of her life and a lazy, uncaring older brother, Harley's mother placed all of her expectations onto her. Thus started a life full of decisions based on what other people wanted or expected of her. Harley got good at reading others and playing the part needed to either help or pacify them, and her perceived skill in this was enough for them to think her suited for the field of mental health, something she took to heart. Years of schooling, an internship at Arkham, and a mental breakdown leads her to become obsessed with the Joker, who gives her the identity of Harley Quinn. She fills the horrible emptiness within her with mindless frivolity and constantly changes her style in a desperate bid to "find herself". At the end of the day, however, the world is a stage and she will happily play whatever part someone needs or wants of her. Just don't ask who she is as a person because she doesn't know. For design, she has a gymnast physique and, while her wardrobe consists mostly of black and red, her choice in fashion is never consistent and often times a chaotic blend of various looks.
Former Yakuza Joker - Although he has many colorful tales of his past, only a few things are certain: he was a part of a yakuza organization in Japan, he was a troublemaker (judging by most of his missing left pinky), and he has genuine memory problems which he compensates for by being completely impulsive and unpredictable. He's really not out to prove anything and most of his schemes are bids to alleviate his boredom and to be a deliberate pain in the ass. Can go from silly jokester to violent psychopath with shocking speed, no doubt a symptom of his very poor memory and an unstable sense of self which comes with it. Gets easily annoyed with Harley but genuinely likes her. Too bad he forgets she exists half of the time. Likes sleazy looking and garish suits, preferably heavy on the colors violet, green, and yellow.
Worked in a Junkyard Mr. Freeze - This is a fresh idea but the concept is most of his teen years were spent working for an uncle at a junkyard before (and maybe during) studying cryogenics and engineering. Eventually leads to him making his Mr. Freeze suit from junkyard salvage (can you tell this plot point was born from a design choice lmao).
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The Weirdos and Normals I Loved Chapter 22-23
22./42 H, along love part 4: Berlin and Almost dead
Warning: sexually explicit text, reference to death
We had been to Berlin together. It was beautiful, and we had a lot of fun. But the first day I got there I was sick. I wanted to stay inside
and rest the first day, but she didn't agree. I felt dizzy and yet I had to go with her to everything, and then she started
complaining again that I 'didn't say anything'.
Back in Belgium she often told how she was viewed by other men, some even said things like: 'If I could I would give you so much love." I was a little jealous. I was always rejected, while the men just came after her.
She started to complain more and more about things. I once had to buy chocolate for her mother, but it had to be sugar-free.
So, I bought sugar-free chocolate, but her mom doesn't like that, so I bought sugar-free chocolate from someone other
brand, but that wasn't good either, so I had to buy chocolate with sugar from that one brand. It was a long foolish hassle.
Another thing she often said was that I was spoiled. What did she even mean by that? I had bought my computer and mobile phone
with my own pocket money, for which I had done holiday jobs. While she also had a computer and cell phone, and her family owned FOUR cars. FOUR CARS. One for her mother, one for her father, and her brother had a car, but then got a company car.
H. then got that second-hand car from her brother. Okay, so three cars. But still, three cars? My family always had only one.
I had worked hard for my Bachelor's degree and was busy for my Master's. I didn't feel the need to travel far or go to a restaurant.
I really don't get where she got this idea from.
Her friendship with Josefien had come to an end, and she was having a really hard time dealing with it. She kept talking about it
for months. Sure, losing people can hurt. But it was, just kinda weird. I also had a lot of old friendships that have faded. Why was this
so bad? I was there for her, and I supported her. Even now I hope she is happy.
I also had a sleeping problem all my life, which often made me tired with her. She does have a point, although there's not much
I can do about it.
She also liked to ask rhetorical questions. Like "How do you think I feel about that?" and then I said "You're right."
I understood what she wanted to say, but then after a while she suddenly said "You still haven't answered my question!"
We had dinner together with her family and I talked about how healthy eating is actually a good investment, something I had read.
You buy some sports equipment and food that seems expensive at first glance, such as whole wheat bread, nuts, fruits and vegetables,
but you save a lot of future hospital costs. While I was talking, her mother went to the bathroom for a moment, while her father listened with a smile.
Afterwards my girlfriend was angry with me. For some reason, her mother was offended by this and had started crying in the toilet.
Poor woman, this was not my intention at all!
She also often asked if I wanted to meet her and her friends, but she never said what time it was, where it was, and how to get there.
Was she going to take me by car or did she want me to take the train?
In the meantime I had read about spices, they are healthy, especially if you use different spices. I often put spices on my food,
chicken spices, turmeric, pepper, cinnamon in my yogurt, and so on. She told me not to do this because it was rude.
She was a really weird girl.
Sometimes I would share something interesting that I'd heard or read, even things I'd learned for college, and she'd often say,
"You're wasting your time learning about everything." And sometimes her family would say "How do you know that?"
like it was weird to know things.
In retrospect, this was a great compliment. Most people play four hours a day games or watch stupid series, but I like learning
things more.
And if I know so much that it's even 'weird', well then I'm doing a good job. I may be weird, but at least I know a lot.
I'm not smart though, just curious.
She also complained that I drank too much water. "You should only drink when you are thirsty." And so did I. She said that
my water consumption was unhealthy and that if I ended up in the hospital because of this she would not help me. As if I drank
ten litres of water one after the other. Really bizarre. She said I drank too much water and ate too much chocolate, but she was
the one who was overweight and drank soda constantly.
We also had a near death experience. H., Paul and I went to the Hare Krishnas in Durbuy. H. took us by car on the way there,
she had to take a bend, along the highway, and it had just rained. The car slipped. I held on and felt my body rushing with adrenaline.
I closed my eyes. I was scared, but all I could do was let it happen.
The car came to a stop. The car was in the grass, half in the bushes. Luckily we didn't hit a single tree.
We were all okay, all three of us. H. was very responsible then, because she drove back a bit, turned and drove on.
People were honking and yelling like we did it on purpose, just for fun. We drove on and arrived in Durbuy. H. and Paul were
playing cards and I said we should leave now, for the tour.
"Ah, google maps says it's only a half hour walk." I said: 'Yes, but you can count on that double, since we are not walking fast and
will probably take a wrong road'.
They didn't believe me, and continued to play. We left, took a wrong turn, and walked below the 'google maps speed'.
We were late for the tour…which I found very unfortunate, I wondered how the Hare Krishna's lived and what they believed in.
We slept together in a rented house. H. and I together, and Paul in another room. I had, as a joke but actually serious,
suggested a threesome, but they both thought it was very, very foul. To each their own. I don't even know if H. and I had
sex then, our relationship was going downhill.
I always said I wanted to make art, I have so many stories in my head that I want to tell. We were both creative, so we understood this at the beginning. I wanted to work part-time and be an artist part-time. Later, however, J. complained that this was unrealistic.
She'd say things like "I'm going to be turning jars at the factory while you can be the lazy artist." and "What are we going to eat then?" Sorry but food is not that expensive, and in Belgium the poor are assisted very well.
They usually get food and shelter, in addition there are many edible plants such as dandelions, clovers, daisies and nettles.
If necessary, you can catch a few pigeons and insects for protein. You might think I'm joking, but these are weird times these
days, so you never know when we're going to have to live off nature.
Whenever she felt bad she would message me and I had to reply IMMEDIATELY. I loved her, and of course I don't want her to be sad. But I felt like a court jester, whenever she felt bad or bored, I had to do a show and send messages.
She had a lot of friends, so I don't understand why she didn't send them if there was something wrong. I was there for her, but
I couldn't drop everything for her every five seconds and message her for half an hour.
She was also always mad because I hadn't gotten my driver's license yet. She hated that "she had to drive that far" when she came to me.
While it was very long for me to go there by train. I didn't have time to get my driver's license because of all the schoolwork. But that's why she kept calling me lazy.
Throughout our relationship, we had the habit of skyping or chatting in the evenings. But her internet was bad, so it was a hassle to
get it right. But usually we did something else in the meantime, she played pokémon and I watched a series, or worked for school.
At the end of the relationship we almost always argued, I don't even remember why. It was then 10pm or 11pm and I had to wake up
in time for school. So I said several times that I was going to sleep, but she just wanted to argue.
So I just went offline and went to sleep. She would then complain "Ah you think that's normal, we discuss something and you just
say "goodnight" and go to sleep!" What did she want me to do? Fight all night?
She always said "I have to adapt to you, but you don't return anything." I didn't even know how she adapted to me, and didn't even
dare to ask anymore.
What she also often said: "My grandma and grandpa sometimes come to visit and ask where you are. How should I feel about that?"
Who cares what two elderly people say? And now I suddenly had to live with her and her family all day? I did not get it.
In the end, I had to lie a lot to survive this relationship, and to make sure I had enough time for my schoolwork.
In hindsight, we should have broken up long ago. But we were both desperate, unsure.
I often have to go to the toilet, I've been like that all my life. But H. didn't understand that exactly and found it irritating, and she's the only one in my life who found that so annoying. So then I started saying I had diarrhoea, something she often suffered from. So then she
acted normal about it.
As I said, there were always a lot of family gatherings with her, and they were extremely long, either from 1pm to 8pm or from
5pm to 2am past midnight. For example, I had to escape by saying I had a stomachache, or that I had to be home at 6 pm because my parents had made fries, and had agreed to eat dinner together, etc…
Hardly anything was said during the celebrations. Grandpa sometimes talked about the past and his life, that was interesting, but
that was it. They always started smoking next to me, inside, very healthy, delicious! The party was so boring that they looked at
someone parking a car, to see if he would hit the mirror of the car next to him. I suspect that family had an exciting life.
All you could do against the boredom was eat, eat and eat. Cakes and biscuits, very healthy.
I had finally adapted and tried to dance along, I tried to let go of all my irritations, H. liked that, but it was too late.
Because she was often jealous of Paul, I sometimes didn't tell her I met Paul. Something she often did was playfully take my cell phone. She did this once and saw that I had arranged a meet with Paul. She literally cried. I liked her, and I didn't like it when she felt
bad. She said "Am I such a monster that you have to hide this from me?"
In retrospect, maybe yes. I'm just platonic friends with him, we don't even have sex, why is she so jealous?
She wanted to see me so often, and I had so much schoolwork that last year, so I lied that I had to go to school on Wednesdays even when
there was no class.
23./42 H, a long love part 5: Almost Cheating and The Last Feast
Warning: sexually explicit text, paedophilia
My train once had a breakdown, so I had to get off at a stop between REDACTED TOWN and my home city. So I thought I'd have a drink, as I had to wait for my next train. I was looking for the least sleazy cafe. I went to the cafe which was the quietest, but actually it was the most soundproof cafe as there was tremendously loud music as soon as I opened the door. I went to the toilet and wanted to order
a coffee. A dancing man motioned for me to sit next to a woman. She was in her 30s, maybe even in her early 40s.
We chatted for a bit, but she started saying all sorts of weird things like: My "girlfriend wasn't any good" and I "needed an older girl"
that I "looked mature for my age." She tried get in my pants, but did she have bad intentions? Was she after my money? Because
she said she used men. I was completely confused, the temptation was great, but I had to stay true to H. I finished my coffee and
left immediately. On the train, I realized I had forgotten to pay. But I dared not go back, what is she seduced me?
I told this to H. and she was offended by that woman.
Her brother liked to drive his company car, and he drove very fast, and did not distance himself from vehicles before him.
One night, a car in front of him suddenly braked. As a result, he had to swerve and ran over a man who had gone for a walk with friends.
The brother got out to help the man, but one group of friends wanted to beat him up, while the other group of friends stopped them.
Someone called an ambulance and the man was taken to hospital with serious injuries.
The brother saw this event playing in his head over and over again and suffered from nightmares. I suggested that maybe he
could see a psychologist as this sounded like trauma, but H. said this was a waste of money.
The last family party was pure hell. They had found some dumb reason to celebrate. Her aunt was with her boyfriend for a year.
They had rented an entire hall for that to celebrate, where did they even get the money from? I had to be there until 2 am,
because until then there was food. "Leaving early was rude because aunt had paid for the food." You could barely talk because
of the loud music. I sat there with a stroboscope light in my eyes, it was very annoying, so I went outside regularly.
Which H. didn't like. One of the family members had a new lover, everyone talked about it, because she was Hot Marijke.
A sex worker who had become famous on television. I suspect she was a lawyer to make sexuality more open to discussion.
The brother was talking to an uncle, and at one point he touched his nose quite conspicuously. He and the uncle would then quickly walk to the toilet. Touching your nose is code for cocaine.
The aunt and her boyfriend had made a special video. It was a slide-show of the aunt and her boyfriend growing up apart
from baby to adult. It took so long, and it was so boring, while the uncle tried to make silly jokes with his microphone.
In the end, the aunt and uncle were adults in the photos. I was happy and saw the light at the end of the tunnel.
But no, instead of time passing by, more and more photos from the same period were shown.
It was like that nightmare where you want to run away, but you just go slower, and slower.
At the party, the most disgusting song in the world was played "She is only sixteen years old" in which a man sings in a West Flemish
dialect with a big accent about how he lusts after a 16-year-old girl, but then decides to drool on her mother because she is an adult.
I HATED this song. If someone said something like that, they would immediately be sent to jail, but for some reason that song had
become a hit. At that moment I went out, I walked around for five minutes, I hoping it was over, but I came back and was greeted by
the whole family going wild, with elderly twerking aunts, to a remix of the "she is only 16 years old" song.
It was past noon and I lied to H. that I had a stomachache. I could relax in her car and I did some reading. I longed to have my own driver's license so I could leave whenever I wanted or when I was too tired. I tried to complain as little as possible, I didn't want to lose her. But she complained about how I went to toilet and outside too often.
We also were going to meet up with her friends. Her friend 'John' had created a facebook event for it. The location was in
'The Wine Chatteau'. I didn't know where that was at all. I asked my love how I could get there but she never answered, finally
she said ask him. I asked him but John never replied either. Finally I said to her: "Look, if I don't know where it is, you can't expect me
to be there." I always like to plan how I'm going to get somewhere.
She always talked about Robbe, and how cool he was, and how they played Facebook games together. Facebook games…..
It was a silly quiz where you basically gave away all your personal information. She wanted me to play those games with her too.
I didn't have time for it, and I Facebook was already stealing more than enough information from us.
For a moment I thought our relationship was getting better. That she appreciated that I went to the party and danced along.
She complained less and there was no arguing until one night. We were arguing again, I don't even remember about what,
it was late so I said 'goodnight and went to sleep. As always I put my cell phone on air-plane mode. That way I don't wake up
when a friend sends me a message at 12 am, and that way I don't get bothered at 4 am by e-mails from the USA and such.
Recently, I always set my cell phone to "Do not disturb." I continue to use my cell phone, but I'm never bothered by it from advertisers etc. Wonderful.
Anyway, I forgot to put my cell phone on air-plane mode, and I got a call from her at 1am. She was upset and crying. "I don't know what to do anymore." she said. 'I also do not know it.' I said surprised. I tried to comfort her. We were talking about living alone.
She said ironically, full of venom "Yeah if we live together that would be easy, wouldn't it."
I really don't understand what this was all about, so I just said, "Yes." I tried to comfort her further and I said "We are both very tired,
we need sleep, we will discuss this tomorrow okay?" I laid down. And put my cell phone on air-plane mode.
It's true at night you are exhausted, both mentally and physically, small problems suddenly seem like giant monsters, that's why many people suffer from insomnia. The problems are swirling in their heads, asking for a solution, when you have to think about things
during the day, while taking a walk or doing chores, not when you are exhausted, without a clear mind.
The worst part was that she would call Paul out of bed. Jesus…
I was afraid of losing her. We were together for 5 years. I knew I had autism and was weird, was I ever going to be able to find someone like her? Someone who accepted me for who I was? Or was I doomed to be lonely? Depressed full of loneliness or worse, a rapist?
These were my toxic thoughts.
I thought one day she would see how she worried about nothing, that all her ideas of "how everything should be" were just
arbitrary nonsense standards that her family had imposed on her and which she had imposed on herself. I thought she was finally
going to let go of all her complaints and frustrations, but instead she dropped me.
She sent an ominous message "We need to talk." This came in like a bomb. We agreed.
It was September 19, 201X.
She was parked not far from my house. I sent the Evangelion quote "You are worthy of my grace, it means I love you.'
Evangelion was the thing that connected us first. So it seemed good to end with that.
I got in the car and she didn't know where the qoute came from, or what I meant by it. She gave me a letter, she said it was hard to put
into words so, she wrote a letter. It was full of her lamentations again, I still have it somewhere, though I don't know where.
She said she broke up with me. I was a sweet boy, she said, but she couldn't anymore. She hoped the best for me. I accepted it, it was
what it was, and I couldn't force her to stay in a relationship. She also said, "You can try tinder now." it was weird that she said this,
but hey, she set me free, and i saw this as permission to experience free love.
I had to redo my year, but it was only my paper that I had to redo. So I finally had a year with a lot of time. Plenty of time for H.
but it was too late. Now I know she was right, she needs a man who can work hard and earn some money, which I couldn't do,
I was a dreamer, a thinker, a writer, a woman.
#prog rock#country#midieval rock#rock#progrock#nostalgia#melancholia#life#love#relation#writing#written#blog#personal#irl#drama#real#weird#diary#daily#germany#german#berlin#break up#ending#heartbreak#open heart
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Head cannon/Scenario #1
(Prompt sent in by bunniesugarie, prompt being: wanting to surprise boyfriend with kiss but accidently kissing one of the other NEETs instead)
__________________________________________________
Osomatsu:
(Y/n) just won big at Pachinko and so being a good partner they decided to share the money with their pervert boyfriend, Osomatsu
When they got there they had knocked on the door three times but seeing as no one responded they decided to just go in
When (Y/n) entered they decided to head to the living room, half because they felt their boyfriend would be too distracted reading his p*rnos to answer the door and half because they wanted to sneak kiss him
When they came into the room they saw that the Matsuno's got a new green sofa and they also saw their "boyfriend" sitting on it with his face looking down
Suddenly however he looked up upon hearing them entering the room and that was when they decided to strike
And so they kissed their "boyfriend"
"(Y/n)?"
They heard a voice from behind them and immediately recognized it as being Osomatsu’s
But wait if Oso is behind them then who's...?
They immediately pulled away and noticed that they had accidently kissed Choromatsu, and that Choromatsu was surprisingly redder that the pine on their boyfriend's sweater
"Ah, sorry Choro-ppi. Shoulda noticed the lack of cowlicks."
However he was too shocked to answer back
Osomatsu went up to his brother and put his arm around his brother neck
"Yeah, but it's okay that you didn't notice, (Y/n). Anyway I gotta go make Fappymatsu into Fappydeadtsu."
And with that he carried Choro out of the room.
Karamatsu:
(Y/n) had started to take guitar lessons from their “cool” boyfriend, Karamatsu
And so they walked up to their door and knocked on it five times
On the fifth knock (Y/n) decided to enter by themself and came to the thought that maybe he was waiting on the roof to serenade them when they came but simply didn't see them
Well they simply couldn't have this; I mean he already did a lot for them, they felt
So instead (Y/n) decided to go to the roof and surprise him instead
When they got to the roof as they expected they saw their “boyfriend” sitting there
Yet going to the roof maybe wasn't their smartest plan, as due to their fear of heights they started to stager around
And that's when they accidently fell on him in turn smashing their lips together
'Well not exactly the way I wanted to surprise him but I guess this works.' (Y/n) thought actually being half right as they certainly did surprise their gray and blue clad boyfriend
"(Y/n)?"
They heard the distinctive deep voice of their boyfriend behind them, and with that they immediately pounced off of the brother they accidently kissed, very cat like
However that wasn't the only thing that was very cat like as the guy they kissed turned out to be Jyushimatsu who had his trademark cat eyes
"My little Jyushimatsu, what were you and MY belle Karamatsu darling doing?"
He asked with a bit of a possessive voice, before sighing
"No, that came out wrong, just (Y/n) what were you doing on the roof, if you missed me then that's okay, just don't do something reckless, okay my Karamatsu bunny, I just don't want you to be hurt. And bruzzah, we'll talk about this later."
Choromatsu:
(Y/n) had just bought tickets to Nyaa-Chans newest concert, and while they were alright on the singer they knew Hashimoto was a particular favourite of their otaku boyfriend, Choromatsu
They just arrived after the purchase of said tickets, '6000 yen just for some tickets?! If only Choro-ppi's interests were less expensive!'
They knocked on the door of their house four times, before deciding to just enter and get swarmed by the brothers
However when they entered, there was nothing of the sort
This somewhat relieved (Y/n) as at least they wouldn't have to deal with their tomfoolery like usual
And so they decided to head to their bedroom/personal living room and wait there for them to come back
However when they did go there instead of a bare room like they expected, they did actually see that one of the boys was still home
(Y/n) assumed that it would've been their boyfriend as he wasn't the most sociable and they knew that he had just recently bought a new issue of OPM, so he may have decided to stay home to read that instead
And (Y/n) really liked seeing his adorable embarrassed blushing face so what better way to be privy to that look than surprise kiss him?
So they did just that but they must have been too distracted by kissing their "boyfriend" to notice the loud bang of two doors opening, one being the house door, and the other being the bedroom door
"Jeez, what an asshole! He really lit my ass hair on- (Y/n)-Chan?"
(Y/n)'s ears immediately picked up on the annoyed but cute voice of their boyfriend coming from behind them and so they shot up like a rocket and looked rather bashful and ashamed of their mistake
"Ichimatsu… anyway wanna go to the pub, (Y/n)-Chan? Akatsuka knows I could do with a drink."
This immediately brightened their mood and soon after they went out of the house to go to the aforementioned pub, while Ichimatsu passed out from excessive blood loss
Ichimatsu:
'I miss Ichinyah!' (Y/n) thought whining, as they had not seen their boyfriend since Monday (provided Monday was yesterday)
(Y/n) was on their usual walk when they looked to the left of their and saw an alley way
Now in the alley way, they saw someone with a bowl haircut and a hoodie on feeding some adorable little stray cats
However, the alley was much too dark to pick up on anything else apart from that
So with those distinctive clues they decided that it must have been their anti-social boyfriend, Ichimatsu
'Ichinyah? Ichinyah!' They thought as they ran up to their "boyfriend", loomed over him, and planted a kiss on his lips
"(Y/n)?"
They heard Ichimatsu's dreary voice from behind them say, causing them to turn around and say happily, "Yes?"
However immediately after that they realized that if Ichimatsu was behind them then who did they just kiss?!
"Karamatsu?" They said looking at the man's face and immediately noticing the shades that only he would wear in a dark alley
"Akatsuka-damnit, Shittymatsu! First you steal cats from me and now this?!"
Ichimatsu shouted more than peeved off, and this was (Y/n) knew they had to say something before this escalated like it usually does
"Wait it was my fault! I accidently kissed Kara-Kun!" (Y/n) said and Ichimatsu's face immediately softened
"Oh… Well, what were you even doing here? I thought you preferred dogs." Ichimatsu asked with a raised eyebrow
"Ichinyah, just cause I prefer dogs doesn't mean that I don't like cats, I mean that's like me saying that just cause I prefer you as my boyfriend means that I don't like your brothers as friends." This caused Ichimatsu to blush as he was happy to know you preferred him over his brothers
Jyushimatsu:
(Y/n) decided to take their dog out for a walk and decided to go to the park, as they hoped they would be able to run (most likely literally) into their happy-go-lucky boyfriend, Jyushimatsu
After taking a walk around the park maybe six times, they decided to go find a bench to sit down, when to their surprise and joy they saw their "boyfriend"
'Huh, weird that he isn't wearing his usual training gear but maybe he decided to go to the park for some other reason.' (Y/n) thought but they was certain it must've been Jyushi as they never knew any of the other brothers to enjoy the park
And so they went to walk over to him but last minute decided that a fun way to say hi to him was to surprise him with a kiss
And so before they sat down next to him they closed their eyes, puckered their lips, and went in for the smooch
"(Y/n)-Chan!!!"
They heard a voice from behind their shout as it came closer and closer, they knew that voice to be Jyushi's, but if that was Jyushi then…
"Huh, Totty? (Y/n)-Chan why did you just kiss Todomatsu? Well… I guess it's okay cause we do look similar from behind! Especially when we're wearing the same colour!"
(Y/n) was really happy that due to the adorable naivety of their boyfriend he just saw it as a mistake which, in fairness, it was
"Ah, Kiiro don't jump on him I thought I told you about this."
Todomatsu:
(Y/n) was currently in a Sanrio shop as they had a love of all things cute just like their devious boyfriend, Todomatsu
That was when they passed by the Hello Kitty section and saw a boy who looked exactly like their boyfriend
And so (Y/n) walked over to him and decided to wait until he turned around to around to surprise him with a kiss
Now, they figured that this wouldn't be a problem as Totty was never the type to mind PDA, in fact he enjoyed it and was happy to have a person as attractive as them show publicly display their love
Well let's just say today was different…
Anyway, as their "boyfriend" turned around they smashed their lips together
"(Y/n)-Chan?"
They heard Totty's catty voice from behind and with hearing that they immediately pulled away from the person they just kissed, and saw it to be Osomatsu
"Oso? I'm sorry about that."
(Y/n) apologized while Osomatsu's face became smug and flirty
"Oh please, if you can do that again it would make my day."
He said causing the youngest to shoot a death glare at the oldest
"Hehe, you're soooo funny Nii-San anyway, what are you even doing here?"
He asked with a scowl and raised eyebrow, well that was before (Y/n) turned to face him and his face immediately went to his usual expression
On the other hand Oso was nervous about explaining the reason why he was their in the first place
"Uh… Well, I guess there's no point hiding it, I'm a huge fan of Hello Kitty."
However instead of the deriving laughter he expected he instead got a smile from (Y/n) and a shrug from Totty
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(Whelp, there you are my first ever scenario thing, I tried to make (Y/n) as gender neutral as I possibly could, and I would again like to thank bunniesugarie for sending the prompt in, but I would also like to thank you for reading it, well until next time feel free to request away, and Imma start working on memes)
#osomatsu x reader#karamatsu x reader#choromatsu x reader#ichimatsu x reader#jyushimatsu x reader#todomatsu x reader#osomatsu san scenarios#osomatsu san head cannons
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Imagine a yandere ghost who is cursed is trapped in the doll, so one day a family came to live in his house, but what the ghost did not expect is to fall in love with the couple's eldest daughter. Maybe this yandere ghost (doll) use the younger brother to get closer to his beloved...
I didn't really include the doll, but the overall idea is here ;)
Tw: nsfw, non - con, underage sex? (The reader is meant to be around 18, her brother is 16 - 17, but the ghost is 100+ so idk), (technically) incest, ghosts, possession, possessive/obsessive behavior, slight parental neglect ig
You knew it was a mistake moving into the old house up the hill. You tried arguing with your parents so many times about the mansion being hidden in the woods, so far away from any civilization, bringing up the fact it hadn't been bought for the last 8 years despite the insanely low price or the news about the previous owners dying in their sleep just like that, from "natural causes" even though they were an young energetic couple. But of course your worries had been discarded so easily since your younger siblings were ecstatic, constantly talking about finally living in a castle, which was obviously pushing it too far, but kids will be kids.
Your family was big, consisting of your mother, father, two younger sisters and a brother currently in his late teens. Your siblings managed to take all the nice bright rooms on the second floor so you were forced to sleep in the attic. At first it didn't seem so bad, yes, the place was dark and dusty, the space was limited, but it was a quiet spot and there were many interesting things left there to explore and discover.
The first week you discovered a huge box full of old books, medals, notebooks and different souvenirs from all over the world. The second week you found a few paintings covered by a thin disheveled cloak, most of them depicting a pretty young boy with golden locks and sad green eyes, dresses in an expensive silky clothing resembling what was nowadays considered an elegant suit. You didn't pay it much mind yet the miserable longing gaze of the kid haunted your dreams in the following days.
During the third week you noticed that things were going missing one by one. First it was your favorite lipstick, then your new dress, and suddenly your favorite items were gone just like that. On top of all, almost as if fate was tickling your paranoia, you could hear certain sounds at night that were too distorted be natural and too human to belong to an animal. There were sobs, loud and tormented, sometimes you could make up a few words in a language no one spoke anymore. You slept less and less each night, you could swear you felt someone's lingering touch on your shoulders, them gently stroking your hair and even pressing their cold unmoving lips on yours. This was usually the point when you opened your eyes and screamed in fear only to realize you were alone in the room. There was nobody there.
Still you decided to speak with your parents about the creepy events taking place in the attic. Much to your dismay they brushed your concerns off once again, laughing softly and calling you a scaredy - cat, going as far as to joke around about your "oh so creative" imagination getting the best of you just like it did in your childhood. But this time you insisted on holding your ground, almost begging them to take action and help you. At the end your mother decided to let you sleep in your brother's room for a while until you calm down, and as embarrassing it was to share a room with a hormonal teen, it was better than constantly being on the edge and losing sleep. Or so you thought.
The first night you slept in Steve's room nothing out of the ordinary happened and for the first time in weeks you actually managed to rest. The second night was blissfully peaceful as well and you quickly fell into a deep dreamless slumber.
The third night started well, just like the previous two. Your brother was tired from studying all day and went to bed early, giving you the freedom to relax a little bit before following his example. You could read a book or try to revise for your exam tomorrow, maybe even call your bestfriend and finally let her know all about your new classmates and just how boring life in the village was. But in that moment all these suggestion sounded annoying, nothing was interesting enough to hold your interest for more than a minute. Thinking about what to do next, you suddenly became aware that your body was tense and tired, but your mind was restless. After all you hadn't had time for self - care between the paranoia episodes and the fear, maybe it was finally time to do something nice and therapeutic for yourself.
You snatched a quick look at Steve and he was sleeping soundly, snoring from time to time, his usually angry face now calm and childlike. Making sure there was no one in the room awake, you finally slipped a hand down your pajama bottom until you felt the soft fabric of your panties. You closed your eyes and run a finger up and down your clothed sex, following the line of your slit. Your pussy throbbed at the sudden contact, the lack of pleasure in the last few weeks making it sensitive to the touch. You pushed your underwear lower so it hanged around your legs, and shoved one finger into your warm hole, enjoy the way your walls clenched around the digit. You flicked your clit gently, feeling it swell from the arousal, rubbing slow circles and pressing on your sweet spot every once in a while.
Your free hand went to your breasts, bare under the comfy oversized shirt, and awoke the cherry nipples with subtle pinches causing them to harden. You couldn't help but moan quietly as you decreased the pace of which you teased your hole and added a second finger in your pussy, fucking yourself on it. You were so focused on chasing your pleasure you didn't even notice the hand on your thigh pulling your own away from your excited throbbing core and replacing it with a big hard cock. Only once its head reached your tight entrance and pressed on it did your mind register the atrocious size difference. Your words stilled in your throat, the sudden panic rising in your chest, making your vision blurry and your cheeks rosy pink. You finally opened your eyes, your heart racing at the image of your younger brother towering above you with his member so close to entering your heat.
"Steve, what are you doing?" You whispered as you tried to squirm away from the boy, but he was quicker in pinning your wrists above your head in a deadlock. When did the male become so strong? Just yesterday he would ask you to open up his water bottle and help him with his math homework and now he was doing this...
"My name is Henry, my love." The voice was different from your brother's, lower and huskier, gentler in a way. You narrowed your eyes and observed the teenager's face, gasping as you noticed that his eyes had changed from black to green, yet all his other features had stayed stayed the same. You wanted to ask so many questions - who is Henry, why were your sibling's eyes and voice different from before - but you were quickly shut by one stern gaze. "I used to live here 80 years ago." The stranger started off with an unexpectedly soft tone as his grip on your wrists loosened. "I'm a ghost. I possessed your brother." He confessed calmly while you watched his pink lips part slightly with each breath as if you were in a trance before you found the strength to break your silence.
"Why are doing this to me? Why did you take my brother's body?" You questioned him manically, feeling like a confused little lamb sent to the slaughter, trembling and stuttering in front of a knife. Henry simply chuckled at your adorable dumbfounded expression and lowered his torso until his face was mere inches away from yours and you could feel his ice - cold breath on your warm red cheek. "Because I love you, darling." The ghost replied with a confident smirk that looked so weird and unnatural on the younger boy's face you almost gagged. Before you had the chance to say anything, he continued. "I've been wanting you for a while now, little girl. And with this body I can finally have you all to myself." You opened your mouth in a protest but your screams were easily muffled by a harsh kiss and a wet tongue down your throat. Next thing you knew the man had pushed your brother's manhood into your wet sloppy cunt in one sharp thurst and in your despair you had yelled for help once again, the ghost taking your whimpers greedily and shushing them away. Struggling was pointless.
In the next hour you were reduced to a sweaty whimpering mess of pain and arousal, fear and pleasure. The ghost was fucking you in a fast brutal pace while his free hand was playing with your clit, bringing you so damn close but never enough to send you over the edge. You were crying and your whole body was aching, your tits red from the rough manhandlind, your lips bruised and swollen from the rough kisses and bites. There were purple hickeys adorning your neck, belly and thighs and you went quiet in embarrassment every time you wondered how you would be able to hide them the next day.
"Please, whoever you are, let me come, I'm begging you." You pleaded desperately as you arched your back to meet the next couple of deep thrusts. Your cheeks were wet with tears and you could even taste the bitter salty flavor in your mouth mixed with your own drool and saliva. Upon hearing your meek pleas the man mercifully started hitting your cervix with each shove until his moves became sharp and quick, targeting your g-spot. You were so close you could feel your abdomen clench and tighten from the tingling sensitations. "Please..." You uttered weakly again, making doe eyes at your brother.
"Say you love me. Tie your soul to mine forever and I'll give you exactly what you want, beloved." Henry basically growled in your ear as he groped your breasts, squizing lightly the soft flesh. Your mind was so hazy and clouded you weren't sure how to respond so you just repeated the words easiest to grasp. "Love... you... forever, ngggh..." You muttered under your breath before moaning wantonly when the forceful thrusts finally sent you over the edge and your pussy clamped down in a big, satisfying orgasm. Your bliss was short - lived because soon the ghost was pounding into you again and again, keeping you too tired to move, struggle or even speak properly besides whimpering every once in a while. The rest of the night was a blur but eventually you fell asleep from the exhausting and the pleasure.
You woke up sore, your eyes red and puffy, your muscles tense and unnatentive. You rushed to look at your brother, but the teenager was sleeping just as peacefully as he did eight hours ago. One side of you was more than glad to know everything that had happened was simply a bad, terrible dream, while the other one still felt extremely uncomfortable and uneasy. You couldn't bear staying in the room any longer so you got dressed and went into the hall. Everyone else was still asleep and you felt as restless as if you hadn't caught a blink at all. You finally gave in to your paranoia and climbed the stars leading to the third floor.
You knelt on the ground where you had found the beautiful paintings. Those green eyes from your dream seemed way too familiar for it to be a coincidence. When you finally got a hold of your favorite piece, the one with the sad young boy, you had to cover your mouth to suppress the shock. There wasn't an aristocrat with golden locks on the picture anymore.
Now the one trapped in the painting was none other than you own brother, Steve. Instead of misery and pain in mysterious blue eyes, there was only terror in his tormented black ones. You screamed for the last time before you dropped the picture on the ground and ran away from the attic, the tears streaming down your face, but unfortunately, there was no escape from the restless dead souls.
#yandere#male yandere x reader#yandere oc#male yandere#yandere smut#yandere male#yandere oc x reader#yandere male x reader#yandere oneshot#yancore#yandere concept#male yandere x you#tw incest#tw non con
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kiss it better | five
pairing: mark tuan x reader
genre: angst, eventual smut, brother’s best friend au (sort of)
warnings: tw for death, death of a parent, reference to drug addiction
word count: 4.5k
summary: you were off limits for more reasons than mark could count. but everything changed for him the day you walked into his tattoo shop with those big innocent eyes and a laugh like his favorite song. he couldn’t. he wouldn’t. and yet…
a/n: hi babies thank you for your patience, i know it’s been many many months since i’ve updated! the last time i posted for kib was all the way back in may, which is crazy, i know. but life has been weird and it’s been difficult for me to find the motivation to write. it’s slowly coming back for me and i’m so glad you guys have stuck around with me even if i haven’t been consistent. i’m more grateful than you know!
✩ index here ✩
“She did what?” Dahyun asked, her bite of gimbap nearly falling right out of her mouth.
Youngjae threw his head back and broke into laughter entirely at Mark’s expense.
Mark ran his tongue over his teeth and refused to look up at his friends, focusing awfully hard on the sketch he’d been working on in between appointments. He quickly realized that they had absolutely no sympathy for him.
“Yeah.”
It had been two weeks already since that night, and Mark was just now feeling comfortable enough to spill what had happened after he took you home. He liked to take his own time to process his thoughts before he revealed them to others, and quite frankly, he hadn’t even wanted to tell anyone. But he was starting to think maybe he needed an outside perspective.
“She has guts,” Youngjae said, after finally pulling himself upright in his chair. “Was it good?”
“Dude,” Mark warned, far from amused.
Dahyun cut in. “It’s a good enough question. From what I’ve seen, you guys have some intense sexual tension. If the kiss was hot, maybe it’s worth exploring.”
“We don’t have sexual tension,” Mark defended.
Youngjae snorted.
“Sure. But, let’s say if you did, and the kiss was good…” Dahyun trailed off, wiggling her eyebrows.
Groaning, Mark tapped the end of his pencil against the desk. He glanced up at the wall, his eyes naturally drawn to the photo of your shoulder, of the tattoo he’d designed and permanently inked onto your skin. It wasn’t the only photo he had pinned up of his previous work, but it was the one he looked at the most.
“She’s a kid,” he said, little to no conviction in his voice.
But you weren’t a kid. Mark knew in every way, you were an adult. Even mentally, emotionally, you seemed more mature than he felt most days. Packing up your belongings because you refused to live a life you weren’t satisfied with? He couldn’t imagine anything more grown up than that.
“Mark,” Youngjae’s tone was firm, serious this time. “It’s not the worst thing in the world if you have chemistry with someone. I know it may not be the most convenient girl for you, but… you’ve been by yourself for a long time. You can’t tell me you aren’t lonely.”
He hadn’t thought he was lonely until you came into his life. He had been fine, so fine, living on his own. Waking up alone, eating dinner alone, focusing on his work and living one day to the next.
But now, he looked forward to the sound of your keys in the door when you got home from your evening shift. He bought your favorite brand of orange juice instead of his. He didn’t mind watching outlandish and obviously fake reality shows if it meant that he got to hear your commentary along with it. More than anything, he’d gotten used to the way you made him feel. In the simplest of terms, he was happy.
“It doesn’t matter,” Mark said. “I already fucked it up.”
Dahyun narrowed her eyes. “What did you do?”
He rubbed some of the tension out of his forehead, relaying the conversation he’d had with Taehyung that night to his friends. The exchange wasn’t longer than a few minutes, but it was long enough for Mark to potentially ruin everything you’d built for yourself in the last couple of months.
“I didn’t tell him everything - I couldn’t do that. But I told him I’d seen her in the city, that I thought maybe she worked in one of the restaurants near the shop…” A knot of guilt coiled in his stomach. “Fuck.”
He’d just wanted to do the right thing. You were young, you couldn’t see that your parents cared about you. Taehyung cared about you. They deserved to know where you were, especially after everything they had done for him. He could at least point them in the right direction.
“Well, shit,” Youngjae offered, a sympathetic frown on his face.
“I fucked her over, and I haven’t been able to look her in the eye since. We’ve just avoided each other for the last two weeks and I-” Mark heaved a breath, leaning back in his chair. “I hate it.”
He missed you. Even if he couldn’t say it out loud.
“I have an idea,” Dahyun said, her whole body perking up. “Don’t look at me like that, sometimes I have good ideas. Why don’t you invite her along for Yugyeom’s camping trip?”
“You mean the couple thing?”
Dahyun sighed. “It’s not a couple thing. It’s just… everyone there is part of a couple. Anyway, it might be a good way to make things less awkward.”
Mark blinked a few times, waiting for Dahyun to say ‘just kidding’ because it was an absolutely ridiculous idea. “What? How would that make things any less awkward?”
She shrugged. “I mean, it’s a great opportunity to break the tension. If you know what I mean.”
“Oh, fuck off,” Mark scowled.
You spent your entire shift thinking about Mark. Thinking about how you had completely messed up your relationship, and trying to figure out how to fix it all. It had been a stupid, drunken mistake, and you would take it back in a heartbeat if you could.
The past two weeks had been torture, tiptoeing around and trying your hardest to avoid him. You’d picked up extra shifts almost every day, figuring that if you were working, at least you didn’t have to pretend like everything was normal.
All you wanted was to come home, curl up on the couch with Milo and watch your favorite ridiculous TV shows while Mark snickered next to you, entertained by the disgustingly wealthy families on the screen no matter how much he pretended to hate it. You wanted to be able to lean into him, feel the body heat radiating off of him when his shoulder brushed yours.
You missed Mark. Even if you couldn’t say it out loud.
After much debating, you decided that the best way to apologize started with food. And you owed him, anyway, after he opened his home to you and let you stay there free of charge. A dinner was the least you could do.
You could tell once you walked into Paradise Tattoo just before closing time that Mark hadn’t been expecting you in the slightest. He was at the desk, going over papers with Dahyun, when the bell dinged to signal your entrance.
In his ripped jeans and muscle tee, all of his tattoos were on display for you, even the large quote he had inked onto his ribcage. You gulped and shoved your feelings down. That would only make things worse.
“Hi,” you said, greeting both Mark and Dahyun.
“Hey.” Mark scratched his head and straightened his posture. “What are you doing here?”
“Well,” you started, wringing your hands in front of you. “I wanted to see if you wanted to get dinner? On me. I owe you, anyway.”
Dahyun piped up, a mischievous smirk on her lips, “That’s a great idea. Mark was just talking about how hungry he was.
Mark cleared his throat and shot his co-worker what looked suspiciously like a glare. “No, I’m fine. You really don’t have to-”
“Come on,” you said, hiding a smile. “How about burgers? There’s a good place around the corner. It won’t kill you to let me pay, will it?”
You could see Mark weigh his options as he chewed his lip. Either end up hungry, settling for some quick frozen food later on, or bite the bullet and let you pay for his dinner. You knew it would hurt his pride to do so, but you wouldn’t back down. It was more than just the free room and board that you wanted to make up for.
“Alright,” he finally agreed. “Let me grab my stuff.”
It only took less than ten minutes for you to walk down to the burger place, but it felt like an hour as awkward silence hung around the two of you. It wasn’t until you were both seated at a corner booth inside the restaurant that you finally spoke up.
“Listen, Mark,” you said, looking up from the packet of ketchup you’d been nervously squishing between your fingers. “About that night…”
“No, you don’t-” Mark was quick to interrupt, but you held your hand up.
“Just let me, okay?” You sighed.
You’d rehearsed these words countless times in the bathroom mirror, and right now it felt like they were slipping right out of your fingers. Where were you supposed to start? With the kiss, straight away? Or getting so drunk that you’d needed to be taken care of in the first place?
“I’m just… really sorry. I was stupid to drink that much and it’s not your job to watch after me. I should be able to take care of myself.”
Mark stopped you again. “I didn’t mind taking care of you.”
“But it’s not your job, Mark. I’m an adult, and you’re letting me stay with you and asking for nothing in return. The least I could do is make it easy on you.”
“Y/N, if you could have seen me at your age, you wouldn’t feel so bad. We all get drunk and stupid sometimes,” Mark said with a shrug. It almost relieved some of your guilt until you remembered the kiss in the bathroom.
“Well...” You shook your head and looked back down at your hands. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him for this one. “I really shouldn’t have ki-”
“Hi! My name’s Lana, I’ll be your server tonight. Can I get you two something to drink while you look over the menus?”
A cheerful brunette appeared in front of you, a pen behind her ear and a wide grin plastered on her face. You glanced at Mark, then up at your waitress, not sure if you were grateful for the interruption or not.
“Um, can I just have a water?” you asked, voice small and uncomfortable in your throat.
“Same for me,” Mark agreed.
“Perfect! Let me know if you have any questions about the menu!”
You let out a long breath before you were able to look at Mark again. He was biting his cheek, his lips all twisted and holding back a laugh.
“What?” you asked.
“Her timing,” Mark got out, just as he let go of his laughter, throwing his head back.
To your own surprise, you found yourself shaking with laughter as well. Either from Mark’s contagious laugh giggle or the simple ridiculousness of the situation. Here you were, in a burger restaurant, apologizing to your older brother’s best friend for kissing him while you were heavily intoxicated.
You covered your face with your hands to suppress your own laughter, letting your back slump against the cushions of the booth. It all came to you then, just how silly you’d been the last two weeks.
“I am sorry, though,” you said, after you both settled down.
Mark’s eyes glinted as he watched you from across the table, the ghost of a smile still on his lips. “It’s alright. I mean it. Last time I was that drunk, I’m pretty sure I ran around the block in my underwear singing the Canadian national anthem.”
You giggled again at the mental image. “What? How did you even-”
“No idea. It’s like I was possessed by a drunk Canadian mischief demon.”
It was strange to imagine Mark and Taehyung in their teen years, since you’d been so young at the time, you could barely remember anything from that time of your life. You remembered Taehyung wearing the same pair of purple skinny jeans for three months because a girl at school had told him she liked them.
You remembered Taehyung letting you sit in the basement in your favorite cushioned chair while he and Mark played video games on the big screen. It had been your favorite place to read then, tuning out the rambunctious cries of defeat while you got lost in other worlds.
“So we’re okay, then?” you asked, after Lana had come back to take your order and left once more.
Mark nodded, a genuine smile on his lips. “We’re okay.”
“Maybe it’s weird, but…” you began, staring down at the wrapped silverware on the table instead of looking Mark in the eye. “Even though I grew up seeing you as Taehyung’s friend, that feels like a lifetime ago. And now I just kind of see you as… my friend. Like somebody I can trust.”
When you finally looked up at Mark, his expression was unreadable. His bottom lip was between his teeth, but his eyes looked somewhat uncomfortable. You worried for a second that you’d crossed a line.
“I owe a lot to your family,” Mark said after another long moment passed.
Even though you didn’t remember much about Mark from your childhood years, you knew his upbringing had been rough. His parents had been addicts, the kind that never should’ve been together, let alone bring a child into the world.
You’d never met his mom, but your own mother had made enough snide comments about her after Mark had gone home for you to understand just what kind of person she was.
“One of those low life, worthless drug addicts. Sleeping around with anyone that can help her out, if you know what I mean. Never should’ve been a mother.”
She had a funny way of showing her compassion sometimes.
Taehyung brought him over once after school and your mother had gotten one look at his threadbare clothes and hollow cheeks and taken him in as her new project. At first, he ate dinner with your family almost every night, and then she started making Taehyung pass over his any extra clothes he’d gotten that didn’t fit properly or that he simply didn’t like.
Mark did owe a lot to your family.
You didn’t know what to say. You’d been so young there was no way you could take credit for anything your parents had done for Mark, but still, you itched to comfort him. Even now, with the unsaid words lingering in the air, you sensed that he had never been able to fully open up to anybody. Though you didn’t deserve it, you wanted to be the first.
“Your mom,” you found yourself saying. “Is she…?”
Mark shook his head. “She’s gone. Passed away a couple years ago.”
Your face fell. If anything, you had expected her to have taken off for good or maybe gotten into some trouble she couldn’t get herself out of, but you hadn’t expected her to be gone.
“Oh, god, Mark. I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
To your surprise, he only lifted his shoulders in a shrug. “I hadn’t seen her in a long time before that. Maybe two, three years. Then my aunt showed up on my doorstep with a box of her things and told me she OD’d in a gas station parking lot a week before.”
His voice wavered only slightly, but enough to tell you he cared more than he let on. You could only imagine how painful it would be to hear of your own mother’s passing a week after the fact.
“I’m sorry,” you said again.
Mark shook his head. “Don’t be. It’s weird,” he said, tongue running over his lower lip as he paused. “I’d stopped seeing her as my mother so long ago that… I felt like I’d already mourned her death. Fuck, that sounds bad, doesn’t it?”
“No,” you answered as you reached across the table, fingers laying across the back of Mark’s hand. “It doesn’t. At all.”
A moment passed between the two of you. You caught Mark’s eyes glancing down at your hand resting on his skin, but he made no move to avoid your touch.
“I never even went through her things. The box is just sitting at the back of my bedroom closet collecting dust.”
“Do you want to go through her things?” you asked.
Mark paused, chewing at the inside of his lip before he answered. “I don’t know.”
You nodded, somehow understanding exactly what he meant. Though you hadn’t gone through the same thing, you were familiar with avoiding a potentially painful and uncomfortable situation by simply pretending it didn’t exist. Hence why you had four unopened voicemails from your brother and parents.
You found yourself stroking the back of Mark’s hand with your thumb. It didn’t feel wrong to touch him like this, even though maybe it should have. All you wanted was to bring him a shred of the comfort he had deserved to have for much longer than you’d known him.
“Alrighty, and here we’ve got the bacon cheeseburger and sweet potato fries for the lady,” Lana exclaimed, immediately bursting your bubble as she returned to your table with your food balanced on a tray. You were quick to snatch your hand from Mark’s. “And a BBQ cheddar burger with curly fries for the handsome man.”
You didn’t miss the way Lana winked as she placed Mark’s food in front of him. This girl was not getting a generous tip from you, that was for sure.
“I told you, after that depressing dinner conversation, we need to do something fun,” you told Mark as you carried your skincare basket out from the bathroom into the living room.
“And this is fun for who?”
You threw him a playful glance and plopped down onto the floor in front of the couch on your knees, setting your basket on the cushion and sifting through it.
“Both of us. Just trust me.”
Catching the skeptic look on Mark’s face, you could only grin to yourself as you pulled out a tube of your favorite clay mask. He didn’t know just how relaxing a good face mask could be, but you were willing to show him.
“I’ll even go first,” you told him.
Mark lifted his feet to prop them up on the coffee table as Milo curled up like a tiny ball of cotton on his lap. You’d both changed out of your work clothes into comfy clothes, and you couldn’t help noticing how warm Mark looked in his white joggers and oversized black hoodie. You wouldn’t mind snuggling up into that space between his side and the couch cushion…
You sighed and shook your head, attempting to clear the less-than-platonic thoughts from your mind. If you were going to make this friendship work, you would need to stop thinking about him like that. Immediately.
“Can I ask you something?” Mark said after a beat of silence as you popped open the cap to your mask.
“Hm?” you asked, propping your personal sized makeup mirror on the couch so that you could see yourself while you applied your mask.
“Yugyeom’s family has a yearly pass to this campground, and every year he does this weekend camping trip…” he trailed off for a moment and you forced yourself not to react, instead focusing on applying your charcoal mask to your cheeks. “This year, it somehow ended up as a couple thing, so Dahyun suggested I invited a friend along. So…”
Lifting your eyes from your own reflection, you watched as Mark struggled to finish his thought.
“So…” you said, helping him along. “Are you asking me to come with you?”
Immediately, a neon flashing red alarm screeched in your mind. ‘This is a terrible idea! You must say no!’ it screamed.
“Only if you want to. I mean, it’s a cool place. Their lot is right by this swimming hole and there’s a fire pit, so we normally bring a ton of booze and cook our own food over the fire…”
Mark ran his fingers through his deep red locks of hair, his nerves displayed clearly on his face. You weren’t sure why he was so nervous to ask you, but it came off as incredibly endearing. Despite the warnings blaring in your mind, you found yourself nodding.
“Okay.”
Mark looked at you then, his eyes finally locking on yours, and the corner of his lips lifted in a hopeful smile. “Really?”
You couldn’t help grinning as well. “Yeah. I mean, on one condition…”
“Oh?”
“Mhm,” you replied, holding up the mask tube and popping the cap back open. “You let me put this mask on you.”
“Aish,” Mark said and shook his head. “No way. Not worth it.”
“Oh, come on, you big baby!”
You stood from the floor and climbed onto the couch, crawling to his side and squeezing some of the mask onto your index and middle fingers. “It’s not that bad!”
“Get away from me!” Mark exclaimed with a laugh, dodging your fingers. Milo hopped up onto the arm of the couch, stomping his cute little paws a few times.
“Just let me pamper you, Mark!”
He let out another laugh, louder this time, trying to reach for the mask to steal from your grasp, but he wasn’t fast enough. You giggled, ducking to miss his hands as he grabbed for your wrists.
Somehow, you found yourself straddling him, thighs resting on either side of Mark’s waist.
“Real men wear face masks!” you exclaimed with a shout of victory as you finally managed to smear a good amount of the clay mask across Mark’s left cheek.
“Oh, you little-” he replied, hands reaching for your sides underneath the long sleeved shirt you were wearing. He tickled your sides, a joyful laugh falling from his lips when you started squealing.
Milo yapped a few times from the arm of the chair, presumably because he thought that you were hurting Mark or vice versa, but his protective barks only made you laugh harder.
“Mark! Stop it!”
You gasped for breath, wriggling on top of him and dropping the mask tube, fighting between giggling and trying to swat his hands away.
“It’s what you deserve, you sneak,” he said, his hands still squeezing and tickling your sides, unknowingly drifting further up your shirt to your ribs.
Twisting and turning, you finally managed to grab his wrists and yanked them from under your shirt. You held them firmly in between your bodies, even though he could have easily overpowered you.
Your chest heaved up and down with the last of your giggles. Mark stared up at you, still smiling and out of breath. The air suddenly became thick as you held eye contact, your hands falling from his wrists to his chest.
“Y/N,” Mark whispered.
‘Danger! Danger!’ your mind yelled.
Mark’s hands, now free from your hold, landed on your hips. You felt his thumbs slip under the hem of your shirt, stroking the bare skin of your stomach. Your heart pounded beneath your rib cage at his gentle touch.
“Mark,” you said, intending on telling him to stop, but it quickly died in your throat.
His chin tipped up, making you realize just how close you were to him now. You weren’t sure who had leaned in first, but only a few mere inches separated your lips from his now. If you only bent forward a bit, you could…
It reminded you, all of the sudden, of the kiss in the bathroom. It had been quick, but long enough for you to slide your tongue past his lips. You remembered the shock to your system the moment you had felt the cold metal of a tongue piercing.
“Y/N,” Mark said again. “Tell me to stop.”
His voice was quiet but you felt like you could read between the lines. He didn’t want to stop, and the only way he was going to stop was if you made it clear that you didn’t want this.
But you did. You’d wanted it from the moment he ran his fingers over the tattoo he’d inked onto your skin one of those first nights, a soft ghost of a touch that made goosebumps form on every inch of your skin.
You weren’t stupid, you knew that this was all wrong for a variety of reasons, the least of which being that he was your roommate. But that meant nothing to you compared to the way his hands felt on your skin.
Before you could open your mouth, tell him that you didn’t want him to stop, an 8-bit version of the Mario Kart theme blasted from somewhere behind you. You jumped, your heart skipping several beats from the surprise.
Mark took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, blinking a few times before he gently guided your hips to climb off of him. “Sorry, I should…”
The ringtone felt familiar but you couldn’t figure out why. Even as you watched Mark grab for his phone off the coffee table and immediately silence it, you wracked your brain to try and remember where you had heard that ringtone before.
It was as if Taehyung had known, the moment that Mark quieted the little voice in his head telling him not to be so close to you and that this was wrong in so many ways, and finally accepted his feelings for you.
Maybe he had a sixth sense.
The moment that had passed between you then had been effectively ruined as soon as he was reminded of two things: you were his childhood best friend’s little sister, and he had already ruined your life even if you didn’t know it yet.
But he’d been so close to giving in. You’d been on top of him, smiling in that innocently beautiful way that you did, your thighs caging in his hips. He hadn’t missed the fact that he could feel you with every inch of him, considering how he’d begged his body not to react, not to harden beneath you. Between the thin layers of his sweats and your sleep shorts, there was no way you wouldn’t notice.
Later, after you’d grabbed a washcloth so you could both wipe the face mask off your faces and awkwardly watch TV for an hour before enough time could pass for you to realistically head off to bed, Mark listened to the voicemail Taehyung had left.
“Hey man. I just wanted to let you know that uh, I’m going to try and head to the city and look for Y/N in a few weeks. If you see her again or have any idea where she might be, let me know. I really appreciate it, my mom’s been going crazy… anyway, maybe we can grab a drink or something once I’m in town. I’ll hit you up. Thanks again, Mark.”
Mark was glad he was in the privacy of his own bedroom when he listened to the message so you didn’t see the way he threw his phone down on the bed, muttering curse words to himself and trying to forget how heavenly you had felt on top of him.
It was impossible. All he could think about was your skin under his fingertips, how your lips had been so soft and smooth and close to his, and how the weight of you on top of him had been enough to make him hard.
His only option was to shut himself in the bathroom and crank the shower all the way to the coldest temperature that he could stand and pray that it would be enough to keep him from sneaking into your bedroom that night.
#mark tuan#got7creators#kibfic#got7 fanfic#mark tuan fanfic#mark tuan angst#mark tuan fluff#got7 mark#got7 imagine#writing
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Goodbye Baby Goodbye ch.2
GENRE: Angst , smut, fluff
PAIRING: office worker!seonghwa x female reader, ceo!hongjoong x female reader, established relationship, lovers to ennemies.
OTHER: little brother!jongho, best friend!yunho, colleague!yeosang, roommate!san, office worker!mingi, manager!wooyoung.
WARNING: cheating, betrayal, manipulations, protected sex (BE SAFE KIDDOS)
Masterlist - Previous chapter
Synopsis:
It all began when your now 4 year-old boyfriend Seonghwa had an invitation to his entreprise’s party. Surprised to hear you could tag along, you met Kim Hongjoong, the CEO and close friend of Seonghwa. Rumored to be a playboy, the rich boss of your boyfriend is determined to add you to his conquests.
Indeed, Seonghwa wasn’t lying when he was saying KQ Enterprise was like an empire. You’ve never been there, and yet you were here, standing in front of the gigantic building, right after your boyfriend came to pick you up.
The preps for this evening have been like a war. Fortunately, San helped you a lot. He was a good adviser for your makeup and hairstyle. Since you had received such an expensive dress from your boyfriend’s boss, you couldn’t let the rest being down. Of course, when you called Seonghwa in a intense panic, talking about the dress you got from Mr. Kim, he didn’t seem surprised.
« Oh, actually I talked to him about the dress code, and he figured out you may be hadn’t an outfit for this occasion. But I swear I didn’t ask anything from him. »
You were still bewildered after his explanation, because it didn’t explain how he got your name and address. But Seonghwa only said:
« Mr. Kim is a man full of resources Y/N. He’s the CEO at the head of an empire, so it’s not really surprising he’d found your personal informations. But don’t worry, he won’t do anything armful to you. »
Still, you weren’t really happy with the fact your boyfriend’s CEO could find your personal infos so easily.
« Y/N…Just accept this gift. I’m sure he didn’t want to upset you, just pleasing you, in a certain way. »
« Fine, I won’t talk about it from now on » you grumbled into your phone. « But I don’t want any of those things in the future. »
And the D-day came. San had left you right after you were done, his own boyfriend came to pick him up as well. It was the first time you were meeting Wooyoung. He seemed to be a nice guy and you had this sort of feeling of knowing him for a long time even though it was the first time you were meeting. While San was still in the bathroom, Wooyoung explained to you his position in KQ Enterprise. He was the team manager of the economic team whereas Seonghwa was a manager into the CEO personal team. You were impressed by how high they were into this enterprise but Wooyoung smirked and mischievously answered:
« Because KQ Ent is mainly composed of young people. The Boss is privileging youth over oldies who will soon retire. »
San soon came to see you both, signalling his boyfriend he was ready. Wooyoung smiled at the other male who was really handsome tonight. You didn’t know San could be this hot in this all black tuxedo and hair pulled back. You were so used to see him in sweat pants and shirts with messy hair. Such a loss for the women population you had thought at this moment.
« Weeeell, I’m ready, so we’ll go ahead Y/N, see you there ! ~ » said San with a large smile which made a weird difference from his look.
You nodded and waved to the boys. Only five minutes after, Seonghwa knocked at your door. You came to open the door, trying not to step on the expensive shiny dress you were wearing. When you opened the door, you had found a subjugated Seonghwa, his mouth opened as soon as his eyes landed on your elegant figure. But he was so handsome as well. Wearing a dark blue tuxedo with a white shirt, a silky pocket tissue on his perfect blazer. His dark hair were neatly styled by some wax, and you could smell his cologne from here. You felt so lucky at this moment to have him as your boyfriend.
« You’re gorgeous » he only whispered after a moment, which made you blush.
« T-Thanks. San helped me to..mh be prepared » you mumbled back shyly, not used to wear expensive stuffs.
« You ready ? » he asked softly.
« I just have to grab some things and put my shoes and we’re good to go. »
You wearing heels was a thing to watch. Fortunately, the most suitable pair you had was almost brand new. You had bought them with your first pay check from your part time job, but soon gave up when you tried to keep them more than a whole day. You also had a classic white blazer and a small pouch that Seonghwa had gifted to you for your second couple anniversary.
« Hwa…What should I do ? I’m so nervous » you shakily said when he came to you after parking his car.
You felt his hand falling on your back as he made sure you were facing him. His eyes searched for yours as he said firmly and yet so sweetly:
« Everything’s gonna be alright Y/N. I’ll be by your side. »
His other hand gently stroke your cheek as you nodded, trying to repress your anxiety. Seonghwa took your hand to pass it around his arm. And then, you both entered the giant building where security guards were controlling the entry. They didn’t ask your name but bowed their head at your boyfriend, letting you pass easily while shouting : « Good evening sir ! »
For a second you thought being in a drama, it felt so unreal that you almost lost your nervousness. Seonghwa leaded you calmly to the reception hall, where you could already hear people chatting and the classy jazz music in the background.
« Oh my God » you repeated to yourself, squeezing Seonghwa’s arm tightly to which he responded by squeezing your hand with his free one.
The huge hall was crowded with a lot of people, most of them were employees here. You just kinda followed Seonghwa, politely greeting people he was saying « Good evening » etc. You glanced around you furtively, small standing tables were on display for everyone to get some appetizer even waiters were going through the crowd with silver trays with champagne glasses. You got one from Seonghwa. You weren’t usually drinking, or more you weren’t a good drinker, but you were feeling like drinking right now to forget your tension. As Seonghwa was talking to another manager, suddenly everything stopped and most of the others’ eyes were all directed in one direction.
A rather small man had entered the huge hall, platinum hair pulled back but with a sharp glance arrived. Even if you were at the other side of the room, you could feel his obvious charisma as he made his way through the mike stand near the small pair of musicians. You noticed his dark winey red tuxedo, perfectly fitting his body. You almost shivered when Seonghwa leaned to your ear to whisper: « It’s CEO Kim. »
Kim Hongjoong, the brilliant CEO of KQ Enterprise. He was known to be really young to be the owner of such a company, but his youth wasn’t a hurdle to rule over his company with an iron handle. The hall had gone completely silent, waiting for the host of this party to talk. He cleared his throat before offering a smug smile to the assembly, his eyes scanning the large hall.
« Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the annual party of KQ Enterprise. Tonight, is the night where we are celebrating our achievement for the past goals we were keeping in sight. I am well aware that I maybe asked for a considerable amount of efforts during those past months, but this is thanks to your hard work, perseverance and audacity that we can proudly announce that KQ Enterprise will add the brand new branch in the US market… »
A salvation of applauses erupted in the huge hall, Seonghwa clapping enthusiastically. You were a bit confused but followed the move, fairly impressed by his speech. But he wasn’t done yet.
« As you also know, I may be the CEO, but everything wouldn’t be possible without my dear sister, Hyewon - once again people applauded towards a young woman who was standing at the corner of the stage, humbly bowing her head at her brother’s words- who always find the good words to guide me. I received a lot of praises from you all tonight, but I am not the only one to be thanked tonight. You all deserve to be thanked for your hard work, and be proud to belong to our enterprise. Thank you »
A standing ovation exploded as the blonde exited the stage, bowing slightly to some people who were still applauding him.
Seonghwa looked so proud at the moment that you turned to him to congratulate him as well. « You’re amazing, I’m proud of you » you said as he chuckled in shyness. « I’m not that amazing, I’m just doing my work »
Soon the classic music returned and people began to chat between each other’s again. You gazed to the next standing table to see San with Wooyoung, champagne glass in one hand. Your roommate noticed you and made sure to lift his glass to you, which you imitated for him. After a moment, you began to think this party wasn’t so bad, until you heard the same voice earlier from the mike addressing to your boyfriend.
« Seonghwa, you came ! »
You turned quickly to see that CEO Kim was here, giving your boyfriend a brotherly embrace, his hand tapping his back as Seonghwa looked slightly surprised but soon gained his composure again. You felt your body froze suddenly.
« Congratulations, Mr. Kim » he said genuinely happy for his boss.
« I told you already to call me Hongjoong » said the blonde with a wide smile, showing his white teeth.
Then his dark eyes soon switched to your persona. You quickly bowed to your boyfriend’s boss, feeling his gaze scanning your whole body.
« You must be Y/N…I’m glad to see the dress I’ve sent you fit you so well. Not to say, you’re beautiful »
You straighten up to mumble awkward words, but the blonde took your hand to do a hand kiss, making your heart flutter.
« I…It’s nice to meet you Mr. Kim, and you shouldn’t have for the dress » you quickly said in a choked voice, making him laugh.
« It’s nothing, it was my pleasure. I hope you will keep it. »
His eyes fixed yours, making you drown into their intensity, as he softly let your hand goes. You heard your boyfriend’s greeting someone else who was no one but Hongjoong’s sister. Seeing her close, you could tell she was gorgeous. Beauty was running into the family genes you thought as your gaze hadn’t left Hongjoong’s figure.
« Hyewon, this is Seonghwa, my manager into my team, and his girlfriend, Y/N »
Hyewon smiled at Seonghwa, bowing her head slightly and to you as well.
« It’s nice to meet you. I heard a lot from my brother about you Seonghwa. »
You looked at your boyfriend who seemed fluttered by her. You had no doubt about your boyfriend’s work, and you felt proud for him. But you soon felt like about to faint, not really knowing how to follow the conversation. Unless you excused you politely to join San’s table.
« Hey, how is it going Cinderella ? » he asked you teasingly.
« Stop it » you groaned lowly once you were next to him. « Wooyoung ? »
« Went to the bathroom » answered your friend, taking a sip to his glass. « You met him right ? »
San was indeed talking about Hongjoong, and you nodded, also taking a sip of your golden liquid.
« Yeah…He…He seems nice but, he has such an aura…so charismatic » you told San openly.
« No wonder, have you heard his speech earlier ? He probably is our age, but act like a king » San chuckled before Wooyoung came back.
« Everything’s good for you Y/N ? » asked your roommate’s boyfriend, probably worried not to see Seonghwa by your side.
You nodded in confirmation as you nudged your chin behind you where Hongjoong was still talking to your boyfriend with her sister.
« He’s incredible right ? » asked Wooyoung enthusiastically.
« Yes, indeed, he’s a genius in a sense » you hummed.
« Thank you »
You gasped when you heard again Hongjoong’s voice behind your back, making you turn quickly to face him. You’ve turned so fast that you almost stripped on your dress, Hongjoong carefully stretched his arm to hold you back if you were falling. But fortunately you didn’t.
« Wow, be careful, I didn’t mean to scare you. I apologize. »
« No no, it’s fine, I’m the one who should apologize haha » you nervously croaked back, making him slightly smirk.
Wooyoung and San bowed to the impromptu visitor. Hongjoong greeted them back but it was obvious he wanted to talk to you alone, so Wooyoung gently dragged your boyfriend away, pretexting the appetizer were better at another table. Once you were alone with Hongjoong, you didn’t dare to look at him in the eyes, to shy to do it as you could feel his piercing gaze on you.
« Are you enjoying your night ? » he asked softly, his hand gently turning a darker liquid on a glass.
« Yes, absolutely, it’s…wonderful. » you answered, trying to appear as calm as you wanted.
« I’m glad you like it. I don’t like sort of …formal gathering, but Hyewon says it’s important for the employees and she’s right. »
His eyes hadn’t left you from the beginning of this conversation.
« Seonghwa is lucky to have you by his side » he commented, making you surprised to ear this from him.
After all, he was the CEO, the almighty here. He could have any woman he wanted, anything could be his in a flash. But seeing one of his close friend having such a cute girlfriend like you made him slightly jealous. Cute and beautiful. He was subjugated by your beauty as soon as his eyes landed on you.
« I’m the one who is more lucky to have him » you explained in a shy smug smile. « He is very capable in every thing. »
« Indeed…I agree » hummed Hongjoong, finally departing his eyes from you to see his sister still talking with your boyfriend.
The night went well, since Seonghwa came to find you not a long after with San and Wooyoung, Hongjoong already had left since he had more people to talk with. You were somehow in a daze. Talking to Hongjoong kind of relieved your stress but at the same time left a deep impression on you.
« Are you alright baby ? » whispered Seonghwa to your ear since your cheeks were bright red.
« I’m fine ! »
« It’s because she’s drinking her fourth glass of champagne ~ » teased San while you gave him a deathly glare.
Seonghwa frowned at your roommate’s words.
« Y/N, you know you cannot handle alcohol very well »
He wasn’t angry or anything, just worried about your current state. Actually you weren’t that drunk, just enough to be dizzy and mostly feeling the urge to go to the bathroom. You just smirked and said:
« Let me go to the bathroom, and I’ll be back. »
« We should go after. » softly said Seonghwa before watching you leave the hall.
It would be a lie to say you were walking straight, or at least in your head you were. But while you were gone into the hallway, you went to the bathroom to relief yourself and also try to refresh your face. Once you were done, you came out from the bathroom, expecting to see people, but no one was here. The silent corridor made you uncomfortable so you decided to go back to your boyfriend until you heard footsteps coming right at you. You froze when you saw Hongjoong in front of you. He looked a bit tired, but his elegant face was still expressing the same charisma as earlier. He looked up to see you and a slight smirk appeared on his face.
« Oh…isn’t it Y/N ? Are you alright ? » he asked politely.
« I…I’m doing fine, thank you sir. » you answered quietly, the ambient silence making the conversation awkward since there wasn’t music as before or people to break it.
He arched a brow at your answer as he took a step closer, now facing you. He was so close that you could smell his cologne. Suddenly, you wanted to leave right now, your heart pounding hard into your chest.
« Really ? You look a bit red. Did you drink a lot ? » his voice was soft, but somehow different.
« I maybe had too much champagne » you chuckled nervously, trying to avoid his gaze.
He didn’t answer, instead his gaze was gauging your face. God, you were so pretty. It would be difficult to deny he tried to see you each time he was near you, but he couldn’t due to others circumstances. He really like how you look gorgeous into this dress he had bought for you.
« You’re gorgeous …You know that ? »
His remarks make you gulp, your eyes slightly looking up to see his, still fixed on you, his hands in his pocket.
« T-Thank you. I’m really grateful for the dress you’ve gifted me.»
He took a moment of silence before the corner of his lips went up.
« Are you ? Well, will you do me a favour ? » he asked, still contemplating your gorgeous, so tempted to do a dangerous move.
You were kind of puzzled. A favour ? What possibly could you do for a man who had almost everything ? You slowly nodded, unsure of what you just agreed to do if you could.
« Just stay still » he said faintly.
It happened very fast. Even before you could realise, Hongjoong had you pinned on the wall nearby, his lips crashed on yours for a heated kiss. In shock, you didn’t react fast as one of his hand groped your thigh firmly. Your body was frozen, but your brain soon snapped, making you push the man who was kissing you.
« S..Stop ! What do you think you are doing right now ?! » you yelled, panting as if you’d just ran a marathon.
Your boyfriend’s boss just kissed you while he clearly knew who your boyfriend was. Astonishment soon left place for anger. Hongjoong dark eyes glanced at you with a devilish tint. You felt like a pray, caged by the predator who could eat you in a second and you hated that feeling.
« Somehow, I couldn’t help it. I wanted to kiss you as soon as I saw you. » he explained in a nonchalant tone. « Of course I know, you have Seonghwa and everything, but…You must have heard about it. I love women, and when I want something, I get it. »
His words made you shiver in horror. What kind of man could do this without any guilt ?? It was enough for you, that a neat and loud sound of a slap echoed in the empty hallway.
« You’re crazy. » you just muttered after you faced Hongjoong’s, head turned on his right as he just got slapped.
Without any words, you hurried to join your boyfriend, horrified by what happen. But you also realised you couldn’t say anything to him. You could, but it wouldn’t be a good option for him. You knew how close they were, but knowing this, he would surely fight against his boss and be fired within the next days. That’s why you decided to take the best normal face you could have and found Seonghwa at the entrance of the hall.
« Are you alright Y/N ? I almost thought something happened. » Seonghwa asked in a worried tone.
« N…No everything’s alright. I just…took time in the bathroom, sorry. » you muttered, lowering your head. You couldn’t watch him in the eyes at this moment.
Seonghwa looked also puzzled, noticing your cheeks were abnormally red. He thought it was because of the alcohol so he didn’t try to ask for more.
« Let’s go home. » he said, his hand gently pushing you by the back towards the exit.
You nodded maybe too fast, but at least he wasn’t suspicious of anything.
« What about San ? » you asked while you exited the place to your relief.
« Wooyoung drove him home too. He was quite…tipsy. » said Seonghwa next to you.
You appreciated the fresh air brushing your face, happy to head your roommate would be here once you would be home.
The trip back to your home happened in silence, your head dropped on the head back of your seat, just watching the lights and neon passing by your eyes.
« So…Did you like it ? » asked suddenly Seonghwa, making your heart dropped in a second.
« W-What ? »
« The party » he said, his eyes on the road.
« Oh…It was alright I guess…But I don’t think I would go again » you muttered, the reason was pretty clear for you but your boyfriend could think another reason.
« Sorry, I know it made you uncomfortable. Next time I won’t force you to go. »
« No it’s alright, it was fine…It’s just that …it’s a different world to me » you forced a smile for him, your hand gently pressing his shoulder.
Soon, you arrived in front of your building. Seonghwa made sure to get you safely to your door.
« Thank you for tonight » he said lowly, maybe because it was late and didn’t want to wake anyone asleep. « You did well, I’m proud of you »
His praise made you smiled genuinely while you tried to erase the flash of Hongjoong kissing you.
« I’m glad…Thank you for tonight. »
Seonghwa’s warm hands gently cupped your face, pulling you to him for a sweet kiss. This time you were relaxed, because it was him. Because his lips were the only ones which had rights to kiss you and no one else. But why your head kept sending you back to Hongjoong’s lips feeling ?
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photograph. chapter one
pairing : na jaemin x reader
genre : angst , fluff , best friends to almost lovers , hanahaki disease au
word count : 5k
warnings : heavy cursing , mentions of blood , throwing up , dying , death
synopsis : so you can keep me inside the pocket of your ripped jeans holding me closer 'til our eyes meet you won't ever be alone
note : this heavily based off of ed sheeran’s song photograph ! ( it will make more sense in the later chapters ! ). this is also based on jaemins love for photography since he is always taking pictures of the members !
one.
At nine years old , Jaemin was gifted his first camera by his mother on Christmas morning. His mother always saw the look inside his eyes when they landed on the nice and expensive cameras in the mall. He always found nature in itself so pretty. His mother decided that a white disposable camera would perfectly fit him for his Christmas present. “ Jaemin it’s time for you to open your gift “ , his mother said in a soft voice. He remembers anxiously running up to the colorfully light christmas tree and bending down to pick up a present with his name largely written over it in black ink . The wrapping paper had pretty white snowflakes and snowmen printed all over. Quickly grabbing the present , he ripped open the box only to reveal a camera. He remembers this warm and happy feeling flowing throughout him. Most children his age would want toys and things like that , but that was not Jaemin. He didn’t see what was so important about toys that you would soon get rid of once you found a new and cooler looking toy. Grabbing the white camera , he hugged his mom. “ Thank you Mom! This is my favorite gift “ , he said smiling.
At ten years old , Jaemin was taking pictures of different things he ran across of during his walks in the neighborhood park. He vividly remembers taking a walk in the near by park that was recently built in his neighborhood. He stumbled across this little pond. Jaemin was fond of animals. Whether it be a dog or a goose , it didn’t matter to him , he thought they were all such beautiful creatures. He quickly grabbed his camera out of his back pocket to take a picture of the ducks swimming in the pond before they swam off. Jaemin wrote on the palm of his hand , “ Pond. Nice spot for photos “ as a reminder to come back to that exact spot another time to take photos. He still had the same old disposable white camera that he was gifted one christmas ago.
two.
At fifteen years old , Jaemin had just entered the ninth grade. Jaemin was always a quiet student. He didn’t interact with many students. Though , Jaemin was popular amongst some because of his looks and nice personality , he preferred to stay out of the crowd. He never liked being the center of attention in any context. He was fine with his one and only friend , Renjun. Huang Renjun had been Jaemin’s best friend since the second grade. They had met during the first day of school. Jaemin’s mom had made him a small creeper necklace.
Renjun had notice it and engaged in a very long conversation with him about how Minecraft was the best game to ever exist. And since that day they were inseparable. Renjun was basically Jaemin’s brother. He was always invited to family events. It was the same for Renjun aswell. They did everything together. Jaemin was very appreciative of Renjun. He had never had a friend like him. They stuck together throughout elementary.
Jaemin had just moved to a new neighborhood. His mom had recently got promoted to a higher placement in the company she worked at so they had to move a little ways over to be closer to her job. Renjun’s parents worked at the same branch of the company that Jaemin’s parents worked at meaning that they both would still go to the same school.
During the first day of nineth grade , Jaemin had decided to take his new green disposable camera with him , which he bought with money he saved up from doing chores. He bought it with him for on his way back to his house from school. There was a pretty park and he just felt like he had to capture the beauty he felt it held.
Jaemin was intimidated easily by people , though he was careful with the emotions he showed. He was to busy placing his camera into his backpack to notice the visibly taller and scary looking guys approaching him “ Hey what is that in your hand ? “ , the middle one asked sarcastically. “ Uh uhm its just a uh camera “ , Jaemin said nervously. “ Oh well mind if I see it for a second ? “ , the middle one asked with a fake smile on his face. Jaemin got a weird feeling in his stomach yet he was scared to say no so he simply nodded and complied out if fear of the strong boy. As he place the green camera in the boy’s hand , he heard the two other boys chuckle. Jaemin had attempted to take the camera back out of his hand but he failed in his attempt. Right then and there the middle boy took the camera , threw it on then ground , stomp on it and broke it into pieces. He looked at Jaemin and said , “ Thats what you get for being weird camera boy “, he said. Jaemin was upset. He spent six months saving up money to afford that camera. All the photos he had taken and all the memories stored were simply gone. He held back his tears and then all of a sudden he heard yelling. “ You asshole , why would you do that ? Fuck you , there was no point in that. “ you said angrily. “ Hey, Y/N you better calm down now “ the middle boy said in a mad voice. “ Fuck no “ , you said as you slapped the boy. Jaemin was caught off guard. No one had stood up for him when things like this occurred. Renjun was too much of a coward to stand up , and Jaemin understood that. He watched as you walked up to him and asked him , “ Hey , are you okay? I’m so sorry Jihoon acted that way to you. I’m Y/N by the way. If you want, I could by you a new camera ? “ , you said to him in a worried yet sweet tone. Jaemin was embarrassed. Eyes were on him and you which made him feel weird. You had notice his sudden discomfort due to the people staring and you looked at them and glared. When they turned their heads around you looked back at him with a soft smile. He realized it had been a good 20 seconds and he hadn’t answered you yet. “ Oh uh I’m Jaemin. Thank you so much. You don’t have to buy me a camera. I can just save up some money to buy another one “ , He said. “ Oh no don’t worry. It’s no bother Jaemin! “ , you said in a soft tone. He liked the way you said his name. And ever since then ,you two became best friends.
About a week after the incident that occurred on the first day of school , you and Jaemin had miraculously became friends. In the spam of seven days you both managed to find out you both live right beside each other , you both love peaches , and you both have an addiction to horror movies. You were both practically made to be best friends. From that day on it was you , Renjun , and Jaemin. You all had became best friends. It was you three against the world. You couldn’t ask for better friends.
One day , Jaemin had just woken up on a Saturday morning to the sound of his doorbell ringing multiple times. He thought he was going to catch a headache. He was a little annoyed but his annoyance quickly disappeared when he opened the door to only see you. He smiled so widely while looking at you that he didn’t even notice the item in your hand. Your were so cute , how could he not ? As you walked inside his nice and comfy home , you handed him the small box in your hand. “ What is this Y/N ? “ , he asked. “ Just open it Jaemin , I’m positive you will love it “ , you said smiling. You had a nice smile , he thought. You had known each other for eight months now , why was he thinking such things ? He shook the thoughts away and slowly started to unwrap the box. A camera. No. It wasn’t just any camera , it was a real camera. Not a disposable camera , a real one. He was shocked that you spent so much money on this. But he was beyond happy. “ Y/N , you really didn’t have to you know ? “ he said , still in shock. “ I know but , I wanted to. You love photography and I thought it would be a nice appreciation gift. Plus , when we hung out here a month ago , your mom showed me all the photos you’ve taken. They’re beautiful Jaemin. It’s artwork. So I thought you deserve this kind of camera. “ , you said sweetly to him. Why were you so perfect ? And why were you the most kind hearted and selfless person he had ever met ? And why was he feeling things he had never before ? It was that moment he realized , he had liked you. He didn’t realize it then , but to put it simply , Jaemin was fucked. When he became conscious of how he felt , he only watched those feelings grow stronger.
three.
Junior year had now arose. During sophomore year he met Chenle , Jisung , and Dongyhuck who all became an addition to your now expanded friend group. Jaemin had met them during try outs for the soccer team. He had been acquaintances with Hyuck prior. They had both met in ninth grade biology but they all didn’t become close until sophomore year. You were all inseparable. Friday movie nights were a frequent thing. You loved hanging out with them. But recently, everyone besides you and Jeno , had notice a recent change in Jaemin’s behavior. It had all came about when the two new boys , Mark and Jeno , had transferred to your school the beginning of junior year ( which they quickly became an addition to your friend group ) . The boys didn’t understand why Jaemin always sent Jeno an envious look. Jeno and Jaemin had naturally hit it off when they first had met. Jeno felt understood by Jaemin and Jaemin felt the same exact way. But what Jeno and you failed to realize was that Jaemin slowly had become envious of him in these recent months. The rest of the boys didn’t want to pry on Jaemin because they , themselves , didn’t understand the underlying situation and potential problem. So , they had let it slide due to the well being of their friend group.
Donghyuck had invited the whole group to his house for the usual friday movie night. On Monday , Hyuck sent out a text to the ‘ barbie’s life in the dream house ‘ group chat ( name was Mark’s choice , of course ) the list of food needed and who was to buy what. Donghyuck was never one to care about relatively anything BUT when it came to food he was one specific human being.
“ Did you all get the EXACT food I told you too ? “ , Hyuck said with a raised eyebrow. “ Yes , Yes we did Donghyuck “ , Chenle said. “ And before you ask , I didn’t forget to buy you tteokbokki “ , Jaemin said. “ You’re my favorite Jaemin just so you know “ , Hyuck said , sending a finger heart Jaemin’s way.
When Jaemin saw you walk through the door , he couldn’t help the way his heart had begun to beat so incredibly fast. Jaemin was one to observe every detail of a person. He noticed every small to large detail about you in that moment and he admired it all. He wanted to rush to you and sit right beside you but he saw the way Jeno beat him to it. Jaemin let out a sigh which caused Renjun’s attention. “ Hey you okay Jaemin ? “ , Renjun asked Jaemin. “ Yea uh just stressed “ , he replied. Renjun only nodded , turning away to focus on Chenle who had a bunch of movies in his hands. But Jaemin attempted to move his eyes away from the flirtatious scene infront of him.
“ Hey Jaemin “ , mark said , pulling Jaemin out of his thoughts and trance , “ Did you bring your camera ? We should take a group photo right now like we always do ! “ , mark suggested and everyone cheered. The camera. The one you bought him. You. You. You. Always fucking you. Jaemin shook his heading and grabbed his camera , signaling everyone to gather around. Of course you were right beside Jeno. He pushed a painful feeling down his throat. He clicked the timer button and went to join the photo. After the photo was done he put the camera in his bag and sat beside Donghyuck. And you , of course you were by Jeno.
Chenle suddenly placed all the movies infront of him on the carpet. “ Okay , We need to choose what we are going to watch right ? “ , he said and everyone nodded. “ So that means , Close your eyes and when I call out a movie name , raise your hand if you want to watch it okay ? The movie with the most votes is what were are going to watch. “ , Chenle explained. “ Since when were you so bossy Mr. Zhong Chenle ? “ Jeno jokingly asked. And there it was , your beautiful giggle. But again , was it for Jaemin , was it directed towards Jaemin because of something funny he said ? No. Never was it. It was for Jeno as always. Jaemin felt something poking at his throat. Ouch. It hurt but he tried to suppress the pain in order to focus on picking a movie.
“ Okay close your eyes everyone “ , Chenle ordered. “ Zootopia “ “ Rio 2 “ “ The Nun “ “Chucky “ , Chenle named out. “ Okay open now. We have the movie! “ , Chenle announced. “ What is it ? Tell me Tell me “ , you said in the softest voice ever. Jaemin suddenly wanted everything to stop. “ Chucky!” , Chenle said . “ Yay! “ , you cheered , Jeno smiled that perfect eye smile of his , and hugged your arm. This wasn’t good , Jaemin thought. He then felt a pain in his throat and motioned to the others that he was going to the bathroom and would be right back. What is this pain ? It hurt so damn much as if he was going to throw up something unusual.
He was right. Very unusual. Terrifying. Fucking scary. He felt like he was going to faint. Petals. Fucking petals. He threw up goddamn petals. Not just any petals. They were pink carnations. Fucking hell. Jaemin memorized many meanings of flowers. He always thought flowers were beautiful. He loved the fact that each of them had their on individual meaning and significance. But pink carnations, they symbolized “ I’ll never forget you “. Jaemin couldn’t stop freaking out. His hands had begun to uncontrollably shake once he realized what was happening. Hanahaki disease. Fucking hanahaki disease. He hoped this wasn’t it. He really hoped. He tried to pick up his phone and look up what was happening. And damnit , it fucking was hanahaki disease. A disease where a person falls in deep love with someone but the person that their inlove with doesn’t return their feelings so they start throwing up the petals of the favorite flower of the person their inlove with. And if they end up never returning the feelings , you die. A flower will form in your throat causing the thorns to kill you. But there is always chance that they might love you back , a very small chance. And he was throwing up pink carnations. How fucking relevant.
Jaemin quickly realized that if he didn’t clean up the bathroom quick and go back to the living room , they are all going to start worrying. But he knew he couldn’t stay. It hadn’t fully hit him that he was going to possibly die soon , but he was aware and there was no way in hell way he going to go back there and quicken the process. He quickly ran out the door to the living room and attempted to give some shitty ass excuse to get the hell out of there before something bad happens.
“ Hey guys , I just don’t feel well. I think I am just going to go home and get some rest “ , He said apologetically. “ Oh bye Jaemin! I love you “ you said smiling. That hurt. It hurt so much but he bottled it all up. “ Yea we love you! Get home safe “ , Jeno said waving bye with the other boys. That hurt worse.
Why was the world so unfair to Jaemin ? Why was the world such a shitty and unfortunate place ? And why did Jaemin have to live on a time limit ? Jaemin couldn’t do this. Three years of his life he has spent liking you and now he finds out he is going to die because of it ? How much more shitty could life possibly get ?
The sky wasn’t completely dark. There was enough light to take photos. Photography was his forever safety. He grabbed his camera and took pictures of every beautiful thing he could find. But you were the most beautiful thing of all. Yet he couldn’t obtain you. He could only imagine you both in an alternative universe.
He suddenly remembered all the photos he took of you on this camera when you both hung out. He sighed , “ What am I going to do “.
Jaemin didn’t even realize then , life could get even more shitty than it already was.
four.
A month had passed. All weekend long , Jaemin was restless. At this point , he could say he was officially sleep deprived. His mind was filled with you. Of all things it had to be you , always. But Jaemin knew it was not the same for you. He could see the platonic love you held for him in your eyes.
Jaemin was dreading Monday. School in general felt like a waste of time , but you being there made the petals in his throat grow.
Throughout the weekend he realized how the petals gradually got worse. On Saturday you had asked him to facetime you so he could help you pick out an outfit for dinner with your family. Of course Jaemin agreed but seeing you look so effortlessly beautiful just increased the pain in his chest. But by Sunday it was not as painful. He spent the whole day off of his phone trying to avoid you. But Monday rolled around and he was not prepared. When was he ever ?
“ Jaemin wake up you have school in 30 minutes! “ , his mom yelled across the house. “ I’m getting dressed mom “ , he yelled back. He quickly threw on a simple and comfy outfit. He ran to the kitchen , grabbing a quick breakfast then headed straight to his vehicle to get to school. The whole way there he could feel his phone vibrating with messages which he assumed were from the group chat.
After he arrived at school he took out his phone and read the messages.
y/n 🌺 : hey !! do you guys want to go for boba later this week ??
ducky : yes madam 😏⁉️
markie mark : YES ?? OFC ?? 🙃
He turned off his phone , finding the conversation irrelevant in the moment , and headed to his first class , algebra. Jaemin wasn’t as fond of math as he was of other subjects. It quite frankly frustrated him. He never seemed to guess the answers correctly , though he was thankful to be passing the class ( thanks to Chenle’s help of course ). Jaemin was fond of art. Primarily because photography was incorporated into art and he was able to portray his talent in there. He counted down the class periods he had up until art class. 2. Two more classes left until art.
When English and History had passed , he made his way to the art classroom . During the day , he managed to speak to you and the other guys a little but he seemed off to them. But Jaemin was not the type to give in even if people keep on bothering him with questions, so they gave up. But Renjun was slowly catching on to something. Why would he ever let this odd behavior be unattended to ? This is his best friend after all , but he didn’t want to bother so quickly yet.
Jaemin loved and hate art class in this moment. The pros were that he got to pursue something he loves and be transparently himself. But the main con was , you shared this class together.
“ Hey Jaemin! “ , you said happily. “ Oh hi Y/N “ , he said nervously. You frowned at his sudden awkward behavior but let it go when the teacher walked in.
He could feel a petal threatening to be coughed up but it took all his power stored in his body to shoved it back down.
“ Good after noon class! Today I have assigned you all with a task. This project is due within 2 weeks time. Last month , if you remember , you all took a vote on what your next big project will be based around. The results were photography! I discussed with some of my colleagues that are photographers what would be best to have this project be on. We decided each of you will be assigned a partner. You and your partner will be give a specific theme. This will count as an exam grade , Understood ? “ , she concluded and everyone nodded. Jaemin was beyond happy to be given such a project.
Mrs. Choi , the art teacher , was going around the class calling out who was paired with who and what their theme was. She gradually made her way to you snd Jaemin’s seat , you both so happened to sit right beside each other. How ironic.
“ I have decided to pair you to together for this project. You both seem to work together very well and accomplish tasks extremely well. Your theme is beauty found within each other. I suggest finding a landscape which best suits you both individually as that can help you find what beauty is stored within you. Try your best to portray what you both think is beautiful in each other while incorporating a landscape which suits you both! “ , she said. “ Good luck!”
Funny thing is , Jaemin had already made a mental note a long time ago of every thing about you that was beautiful. He already knew what best suited you. He could name everything about you and tell you how it was so incredible to him.
Could you do the same ? Jaemin had already been aware of the answer to that question since he became aware of his own feelings towards you. His thoughts were so incredibly crowded that the only thing that broke his inner voice was the petals that were about to arise because of the overwhelming feeling of love for you pumping throughout his chest.
“ I’m going to go to the bathroom right quick. “ , he said. You only nodded , watching him rush out of the classroom quickly.
He tried his best to maneuver through the halls as fast as he could without drawing any attention. Luckily , when he reached the bathroom , no one besides him was present. He began throwing up the petals that were grown inside of his chest. He hated this life.
Jaemin had already walked back to the classroom after five minutes. Only a few minutes after arriving to the classroom , the lunch bell had rang.
“ Hey , Jaemin just text me when you are free next week so we start on this project , okay ? I am so excited ! “ , you announced.
Jaemin didn’t go to lunch. Instead he sat in the bathroom waiting for the last bell to ring.
Thursday had came around the corner fast. You had been blowing up his phone with messages for him not to miss the gathering at the local boba shop or he would ‘ get the boot ‘.
Jaemin quickly grabbed his grey hoodie you bought him , how ironic again , and headed out the door.
Upon arriving at the boba shop , he couldn’t help but notice through the clear glass window how you and Jeno were so close , flirting even. His heart ached even more but he pushed it aside and decided to put on a mask and walk in.
“ Oh Jaemin ! You are here , finally. “ , Jeno said hugging Jaemin. “ Yeah sorry I am a little late. My mom needed help with some yard work “ , he said. lie. Jaemin was extremely hesitant about coming. Why would he want to ? It hurt too much , but he did it for you.
One hour had passed and all Jaemin did was here Marks stupid jokes and about how Donghyuck had “ accidentally “ thrown Jisung’s ipad into a wishing well one summer vacation. And oh , let’s not forget you laughing at Jeno’s horrible jokes. They weren’t even that funny , he thought.
And then he saw it. He heard Jeno whisper , “ If you kiss me on the cheek , I will buy you some more boba!! “ , to you , while smiling. And then you had kissed him on the cheek.
It was immature for Jaemin to feel upset , but he justified his emotions by the fact he felt a petal about to come out. He again , like always , motioned that he was going to the bathroom.
And again there was a petal from a pink carnation. How fucking nice. Needless to say , Jaemin got out of there with an excuse before he could near his death more.
He didn’t bother showing up for the weekly Friday movie night. But no one asked questions. He felt alone , yet again. But who could he tell his tragic ending to ? It only felt as if it would make worse of his situation.
About a week passed and it was Wednesday. About this time last week you had arranged for you and Jaemin to meet up and the park at around 4pm for this art project. You both were equally excited , maybe Jaemin even more. He just couldn’t express it.
By the time he arrived , he saw you were already there , playing with the ducks. He took this opportunity to capture a picture of you in this moment. You were so beautiful , he thought.
Once you felt a presence behind you , you turned around but softened your gaze once your recognized it was him.
“ Oh hi! Are you ready to start ? “ , you asked.
“ Oh yeah of course ! While you were playing with the ducks , I took a photo of you. It fits you. Maybe we could use it ? “ , he shyly said.
“ Let me see Nana! “ , you said excitedly. His heart was about to fucking burst. “ Oh okay here “ , he showed his camera your way.
“ It’s so good ? You truly have a way with cameras. Okay now take some more of me over here by the pond! “ , you stated. He aimed his camera at you , clicking the button. You were perfect.
“ Nana let me take some of you! “ , you said , reaching out your hands to grab the camera. “ Okay “ , he replied while walking to a tree and posing. click. You smiled at the photos you had taken while handing him the camera back.
Two hours had passed and he could feel that this was about to come to an end today , just not in the way he had anticipated.
Your phone had started ringing and he could see a certain realization had hit you. You quickly picked it up and hung about after about a minute.
“ Oh that was Jeno. He called me to remind me of our date tonight. I am really excited! But unfortunately I need to head home to get ready. Good night ! Don’t forget to send me those pictures of you for the project ! Bye bye , Love you Nana “ , you said apologizing while waving bye. He couldn’t make out words. He was caught off guard. He zoned out for a second and then realized you were gone.
All these emotions had hit him. He didn’t know how to process. You were going out with Jeno. Not Jaemin , Jeno. Fucking Jeno. Why him ?
Jaemin felt everything crash down. He couldn’t breathe probably. Petals were threatening to come out and he couldn’t help but hide behind a tree in the dark while letting them come out. He was so hopeless. He had no idea how much he had left. Why was the world so cruel to Jaemin ? What had he done to deserve such a fate ? Why suddenly did he have to live on a time limit ? He thought again it couldn’t get worse.
Yet he was always proved wrong at this thought.
Out of nowhere , Renjun appeared and said , “ Jaemin ? Is that you ? Are you okay ? “.
In fact it got worse. He was fucked, big time.
#nct#nct angst#nct dream au#nct dream imagines#nct au#nct imagines#jaemin#na jaemin#jaemin imagines#jaemin au#jaemin angst
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Can you please write hc about the bois reading mc's diary where they might state somethings (why do they like the bois , their dreams with them , or the nice gestures they do to them)
Sorry this took so long!
Okay so here’s the platonic version of the bros reading MC’s diary, there will be a romantic, and dirty version as well. Including the undateables (Luke’s obv is platonic only).
I’m putting most of it under a read more bc it’s a lot.
Lucifer
⦁ He'd started giving MC piano lessons after their RAD classes, they'd requested it and he wasn't going to pass up a chance to show off his talents.
⦁ After MC leaves he notices they forgot their things, namely a few schoolbooks and notebooks
⦁ He also notices when he gathers them up that one notebook seems different than the others and opens it to see what it is
⦁ It's a daily journal of their time in the devildom
⦁ He flips through a few more pages and lands on a page that, to his surprise, is about him
⦁ He goes to the beginning and sees where it becomes less about general happenings and more about him
Platonic (diary content)
⦁ "Lucifer seems more stressed lately....he played the piano for me once and he seemed really happy then. Maybe I can ask him to teach me to play, but he might see it as another thing on his already full plate. But it would be nice for him to have a break from the usual headaches."
⦁ "I asked him and he agreed! He seemed surprised but also has a small smile! I hope I'm not putting too much on him. "
⦁ "He's been teaching me for a few days now and he always seems much more relaxed and happier during our lessons. I'm happy I found something to get his mind off his stress, he works too much. He's nice deep down, but he has a lot going on that makes him irritated. Still, I'm glad he's my friend."
Platonic (his reaction)
⦁ Lucifer is touched that MC was worried about him
⦁ And also surprised that they noticed his mood while playing the piano, and his reaction to them requesting he teach them to play, he hadn't realized they were so observant.
⦁ When he thought about it, he realized he had been enjoying their lessons, looking forward to them even. MC wasn't a bad student, they actually picked up the basics quickly.
⦁ He wouldn't tell them he'd read their diary, but he couldn't help but smile he entire time when they joined him for their next lesson
Mammon
⦁ He was looking through MC's stuff to sell for quick grim
⦁ Finds an intricate looking book, it's looks expensive
⦁ He opens it and notices its a scrapbook
⦁ He soon realizes that there a lot of cut outs and pictures of him
⦁ And there are full pages of writing
⦁ Of course he's going to read about what they have to say about him, The Great Mammon!
Platonic (diary content)
⦁ "Mammon got another multi page spread! He's so cool."
⦁ "Mammon offered me some of the clothes he'd gotten from a recent shoot because his closet was full, they were super expensive brand names! I'm still in shock, I would have thought he'd sell them. They'd probably go for a good bit of grim since they were what he'd wore in the shoot, I mean he's one of the most in-demand models! But he gave them to me instead, I feel silly for being starstruck."
⦁ "I want to buy something to repay him, but he has everything.... If he wants something, he just buys it, so it's hard to get what he'd want that he doesn't already have...Maybe I could make something?"
⦁ "Went shopping today with him and bought the stuff to make his gift, he didn't even notice! I bought him a few things he asked for, I hope he likes my real present..."
Platonic (his reaction)
⦁ He's SHOCKED. Yeah he always boasted about being the greatest, but he hadn't realized MC was an actual fan of his??
⦁ It seems like they had collected pictures from every shoot he'd ever had, and that was saying something.
⦁ He didn't even consider selling the clothes he'd gotten from the shoot that day, he just saw MC admiring them and rather than try to find room for them, he just let MC have them. He hadn't even thought anything of it, but it made him happy that he'd brought so much joy to MC.
⦁ He wondered what they were making him and tried to think back on their shopping trip, but he'd been too focused on the things he liked, rather than what MC was buying.
⦁ Guilt hit him like a train, he may not have stolen anything, but he's going to buy MC something real nice to make up for trying.
Levi
⦁ He'd gone into MC's room to retrieve some games and manga he'd lent them
⦁ He saw a pile of books near a neat stack of games and assumed they'd left it on their desk for him.
⦁ It wasn't until he got back to his room and was organizing them that he realized he grabbed a book that wasn't his.
⦁ He opened it then quickly shut it after realizing it was their diary.
⦁ He argued with himself to read or not to read, but he saw his name!
⦁ Deciding, he opened the diary again, he just had to know what they were writing about him
Platonic (diary content)
⦁ "I hung out with Levi today and watched him absolutely obliterate a raid! It seems like he's super high leveled on like, ever game he plays! He even gets me into some of them and helps me level up and get rare items."
⦁ "I don't know if he's joking or not when he calls me his best friend but I feel the same. He's my best friend. Though sometimes I worry he'll get bored of me since I'm not nearly as into gaming as he is. And I worry that some of the games and stuff I like he'd probably say the were such "normie" or "main stream" things...it doesn't mean they're not fun. I try to stick with games he likes to play, because I don't want to lose my best friend. Is that something I should actually worry over?"
⦁ "We were watching a new anime today and one of the characters said something that set him off. He paused it and went on an hour long rant about how out of character it was for them. It may be weird, but I love listening to him going off about things he's passionate about! It's both entertaining, and I get to hear his thought process, usually I end up learning a few things that I had missed while watching. It seems like he never misses anything! I know he'd never in a million years believe me, but I think he's actually really cool and fun to be around."
Platonic (his reaction)
⦁ His heart is ready to explode, he really did think of MC as his best friend, but he was worried they just went along with it to make him happy. Reading that they thought the same thing, it was scary how alike they were!
⦁ When he got them into a game that he had been playing for a while, he wants them to be able to run raids with him as fast as possible, but he also likes MC's excitement when they complete a particularly difficult quest, because he felt the same way.
⦁ He feels guilty reading that MC thinks he'll get bored of them just because they like games he typically would scoff at, they're right, just because they're mainstream doesn't mean they aren't fun. They became mainstream BECAUSE they were fun. He makes a mental note to find out MC's favorite game. Their actual favorites.
⦁ He blushed because he did have a habit of going off on tangents in the middle of an episode and then not finishing it for the rest of the night. But reading that MC enjoyed his rants, this human really was his best friend, his Henry!
Satan
⦁ MC returned some books he'd lent them
⦁ While putting them away, Satan realized they'd accidentally given him one of their books
⦁ They'd already left though, he opened it to see what the book was about
⦁ It was a thick journal and he realized it was specifically a diary
⦁ And the page he'd opened to was about him
⦁ Intrigued, he sat down and flipped to the first page.
Platonic (diary content)
⦁ "Today I asked Satan if he had any books about devildom fauna and asked him since there was no sun in the devildom, what did the flowers use as a food source. He had a few books and was nice enough to sit down with me and go over the material. He asked why I wanted to know and I explained I wanted to try growing something."
⦁ "Satan saved me from failing the test today! If he hadn't suggested we study together, I wouldn't have realized I had studied the wrong thing! At first he seemed annoyed but when I apologized he asked 'For what' and I said for bothering him, I felt bad because we'd have to waste time studying something I should already have had a good grasp on. He seemed surprised and explained he wasn't mad, things happen. He told me that at least when the time came to test for what I accidentally studied, I'd be more prepared. After all knowledge is power. I'm glad he's patient with me."
⦁ "Satan showed me some of his favorite books today. A lot of them were books about curses and hexes and the like, but it made him laugh. He was so excited to try some of the new curses he'd learned on Lucifer. It shows a different side to him, a more playful side. Dangerous, but still playful. Hopefully he'll never try to prank me with a curse haha!
Platonic (his reaction)
⦁ He remembered MC asking about local fauna and how things worked here in the devildom. He had almost laughed because things like that were basic knowledge, but he remembered that in the human realm, the sun was essential for most fauna growth. He admired MC for trying to learn new things and put that knowledge to use.
⦁ Satan smiled at MC remembering the phrase he had told them a few times. He'd been surprised when MC had opened to the wrong chapter to start studying, and the look of shock on their face when he told them, he felt bad. Nonetheless, this was a chance to see just how much he understood the reference material, now that he'd have to thoroughly explain so that they understood. He enjoyed his time with them and he was glad that their hard work paid off.
⦁ He hadn't realized how much he held back when around his brothers and MC, but he felt comfortable around MC, like they understood him. He felt like he could let down his guard a little with them, and he was glad to read they took his interests in curses and pranks in good humor. He might have to prank MC soon....nothing dangerous or over the top, but he wanted to tease them a bit.
Asmo
⦁ He went into MC's room to show off some new beauty products he'd bought
⦁ They weren't in their room, so he texted them, they replied they'd be there shortly
⦁ he takes a seat on their bed and notices a notebook on their nightstand
⦁ He opens it and sees it's their diary
⦁ And more importantly, they're writing about him
Platonic (diary content)
⦁ "Ugh, I had such a rough day today! I'm glad I ran into Asmo on my way back to my room. He wanted me to come with him and try some new stuff he got that was supposed to help with fatigue. At first I refused because I just wanted to lay down, but he wouldn't take no for an answer and eventually he wore me down and practically dragged me to his room. He was right, the products he used really did make me feel more energetic!"
⦁ "I ran into Asmo in town today, he was on his way to majolish. I joked with him that he owned every item of clothing in the store and he told me that's why he was going to buy me clothes! Once again I found myself dragged along with him. I feel like I need to just start going with things when it comes to him, it always ends up for the better. I feel bad that he spent so much grim, but he kept finding clothes that I 'Absolutely had to have!!!' he does have a good sense for my style at least."
⦁ "Today I went to Asmo's room, I was feeling down and it seemed like spending time with him always cheered me up. At first he seemed annoyed to be interrupted, but as soon as he saw it was be he perked up and pulled me inside his room. He asked why I looked so down in the presence of someone as beautiful and him and I had to laugh. I told him a little bit of what was on my mind, and it didn't seem like he was listening, just going about his beauty ritual. But after I had stopped talking he started giving advice on the more important things I had complained about. He's a great listener, I'm really happy he's my friend, even if he keeps trying to get in my pants! Though at this point I think it's just habit because he doesn't seem as pushy as he did at first.
Platonic (his reaction)
⦁ Asmo recalled when MC was more resistant towards him, to be fair though they needed a good spa day! A lot! And now that he had read that they were thankful for his impromptu self care sessions, he was going to make actual plans for spa days with MC. They'd thank him in the future.
⦁ To be fair, he was glad he ran into MC while on his way to majolish. He knew MC's size, but wasn't entirely sure about what they liked personally. He knew what he thought they would look good in, but when they had started trying on clothes, he quickly noted what they seemed uncomfortable in, and what they actually seemed to like. An outfit may look cute, but if the person wearing it looks like they'd rather be wearing anything else, then it defeated the purpose! Eventually Asmo tuned into the styles and materials MC liked and went from there. He didn't even spend half as much as he usually did, so he found it funny that MC was worried over the total price of their new wardrobe.
⦁ He remembered the night MC came to his room, they had indeed interrupted him in the middle of his usual nighttime ritual, but as soon as he saw the look on their face he had to pull them in. He listened to MC pour their heart out while he went about his routine and when they stopped talking he assumed they were done and started giving them pointers. When he looked back to them, they look surprised. It confused him at the time, but now he understood it was because they thought he wasn't listening. He was always listening darling! It's how he knows so much.
⦁ He also hadn't realized that it had in fact, become more of a habit to flirt with MC, than to actually try to get somewhere with them. He didn't know how to feel about it.
Beel
⦁ To be fair, MC told him he could borrow their study notes, but didn't tell him where in their room they left the notebook
⦁ He sees what he assumes is the notebook on their bed and grabs it and heads to his room
⦁ Once he gets settled, he opens it and reads half the page before it clicks that these are definitely not study notes
⦁ This is their diary, and they were writing about him
⦁ He shuts it so fast, super embarrassed, but he can't stop thinking about what he'd read
⦁ Guilty, he opens it to read more
Platonic (diary content)
⦁ "Today I forgot my wallet today so I couldn't buy lunch, but on my way back to the classroom I ran into Beel. He was actually looking for me so we could have lunch together! He even grabbed my favorite foods. I don't think I've mentioned my favorites though...how did he know??"
⦁ "I had a major leg cramp today while walking with Beel today. After sitting down he asked if he could massage it to help. I agreed and it hurt so much at first!! He kept reassuring me through it though and after a while it stopped hurting. He told me I probably needed to drink more water and get some potassium. He also suggested I join him for his stretch warm ups to avoid cramps in the future. I had no clue he knew so much!"
⦁ "Beel is always so supportive and nice, he always makes my day brighter! I'm really glad to have him as a friend, a best friend even. Going to watch him at practice today, I'll make sure to bring his favorite snacks!"
Platonic (his reaction)
⦁ He didn't realize MC had left their wallet that day, he just remembered how they looked so down, and then when he asked them to eat with him at lunch, and gave them their food, their face lit up. He wondered if that was how he looked when MC gave him his favorite snacks. It wasn't hard for him to tell when MC really liked something, they had an excited expression every time they saw certain food, was it usually a hard thing to notice?
⦁ Beel remembered that day, how MC practically dropped to the ground clutching their leg. They told him it was a cramp and as soon as it stopped hurting so much, they could just walk it off. He scoffed at the memory, but was glad he taught MC something, and they had been joining him for his warm-up stretches since.
⦁ He was touched, he definitely saw MC as a close friend, they were his second favorite person, after his twin of course. He was glad he could make their day brighter, and felt guilty again because he was reading their diary.
⦁ He'd admit what he'd done later and apologize, hopefully MC wouldn't be too angry...
Belphie
⦁ MC texts him asking if he could bring their notebooks they forgot
⦁ They were having a study session but it turned into a nap session instead
⦁ He opens one of the notebooks to quickly scan over the notes they were supposed to study
⦁ These are not school related
⦁ This is their diary, and whats more, there's a lot about him in it
⦁ A wicked grin spreads across his face and he settles in to read what MC had to say about him.
Platonic (diary content)
⦁ "Oof today Belphie made me laugh so hard I could barely breath today! I had tears and everything. He was doing impersonations of his brothers and when he did Lucifer, I lost it! Even aside from that he has a great sense of humor."
⦁ "I forgot it was may day to cook and took a 3 hour nap. Luckily Belphie covered for me and came to wake me up when dinner was ready. I owe him big time, which owing Belphie something....is a scary thought. I'm sure it'll be fine though!"
⦁ "Lucifer was running me ragged today! on top of homework he was making me help him with his paperwork! Belphie saw me on my way back to Lucifer's office and grabbed me and told me I was going to take a nap with him since I looked like I was about to drop anyway. I tried to argue, but as soon as Belphie tossed me onto the pile of pillows and blankets, honestly I'm pretty sure I just passed out. I had to hear it from Lucifer later on, but Belphie made me laugh after so all in all it was worth it.
Platonic (his reaction)
⦁ He didn't realize MC thought he was actually funny, he thought they were laughing to make him feel better, but he remembered them near pissing themself when he mocked Lucifer and grinned.
⦁ Belphie went to remind MC it was cooking duty but saw they were asleep. He knew what it was like to be woken up from a nap, so he just figured they could return the favor later on. It was funny to him that they thought he would have something insidious in mind for repayment. He might have to think of something besides covering for him for cooking duty...
⦁ He remembered vividly seeing MC's haggard face and realized they were heading to Lucifer's office. They looked dead on their feet so he grabbed them up. Part of it was and excuse to nap with them, the other was to piss off Lucifer. And maybe a little bit of pity for them. He had listened in on some of Lucifer's lecture to MC, and had a lot of new material to mock him about that he wanted to share with MC.
⦁ He was going to tease them so much about carrying their diary around and leaving it for whoever to read.
#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me levi#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me asmo#obey me beel#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphie#obey me belphegor#obey me imagines#obey me headcanons#obey me reactions#obey me diary#msb writes#it's super long sorry lol#I hope you like it so far though!!#i'm having a blast writing it!
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Random Personal Rant
For anyone somehow here not from the original thread, this started off me getting asked what finishing school is and me getting shit off my chest that is only mildly relevant about how I could both be of the social class that gets sent to finishing school and grows up on welfare.
With an understanding that in many parts of the world it wouldn't qualify as so, as far as the US goes, my dad is from what counts as a very old money family from Baltimore & Philadelphia. Both his siblings went to college and one now owns a major hedge fund, and his sister is married to a C-level executive at a huge conglomerate. His parents went to college. His grandparents went to college. All eight of his great grandparents went to college. My dad...did not go to college. He was not about that life, and while I don't mean it as an insult, when I say his primary occupation until I was ~5 was a drummer in a mediocre band I mean that he opened for a lot of great acts, and if you lived in the Boston to Atlanta area in the 80s you may have heard him play, but he was never a huge national name. But he wasn't an amateur band playing for free at some random local gig either.
My mom grew up on a chicken farm in a Mennonite family in Pennsylvania but also completely rejected her heritage and became a model, sort of like my father, of mediocre status. Not Giselle Bundchen, but had national contracts and if you have a Graco ad/box from 1990-1993 you might see both me and her on it. They met because my mom's friends placed bets, one each, on who could sleep with a member of their favorite local band first and my mom picked my dad and...my mom was actually supposed to go be a model in Tokyo and found out she was pregnant with me and couldn't go 😂
So, after my parents had two kids back to back with a third on the way and determined they needed lifestyles more in line with having three children, they became much poorer than they originally were because my mom stopped working and my dad, with a barely-passed-high-school education but needing a true "day job" worked day labor in construction. My dad's father was too proud to give us money/help if my dad didn't beg for it; despite having eventually four young children my dad never did so we ended up on all the state assistance programs one could imagine. My grandma jokes that dinners at my parents house were BYOC - bring your own chair, because we didn't own any.
My mother and paternal grandmother had no such pride issues and I live in eternal gratitude that my welfare childhood was not as crappy as it should have been because my grandmother would have my mom accompany her on grocery runs and buy us food without my father or grandfather knowing, and every Christmas and birthday my grandparents/godparents could give us the one big ticket gift all the kids wanted that year. But, on the other side, I once got stung by a bee inside my mouth because my brother threw a hairbrush through a cracked window at me and broke it and we couldn't afford to fix it for about two years and a hornet got in one day and rested himself in my coke can (my parents were the very American type that fed me coca-cola in baby bottles at age 8 when I was jealous of my younger siblings lol).
It is hard not to believe in "toxic masculinity" when two men warring over dumbass pride issues would rather their children/grandchildren go without food than suck it up and decide 'help' isn't the worst word in the English language, and you know you've only been saved by two women who came from totally different backgrounds and entirely disapproved of each other but reached out the hand to shake when it came down to toddlers getting the short end of the don't-bend-the-knee stick. It wasn't that either of the men were bad people, I loved them both and got along great with both, but on a societal level I feel they were socialized in a very fucked up way if that was the end result, as both claimed "male pride" in these instances [my dad took multiple thousands of dollars I'd saved from working during college from me during the 2008-2010 financial crisis and didn't tell me and that was the reason I was given for why I hadn't been informed/asked, because it would be too emotionally difficult for an adult man to ask a young woman. My graduation present was them repaying me 1/3 of the money they'd taken from me without asking because I'd like, trusted them when it had been in a joint account that was a holdover from when I was <18 and couldn't have my own bank account].
While in some ways my parents on the surface achieved the American dream of going from nothing to a bunch of money, the real factor in play was that my dad's father was the bank. My parents had no credit and couldn't get real loans. My dad worked construction and during the two major periods that flipping houses was very lucrative, he never had to get an actual loan or pay actual interest, he just had to ask his father to pay out cash and then repay him at a flat 2% interest rate that didn't even accrue over time, just...whenever you are ready, repay the value of the loan + 2%. Because my father was doing something productive, in these instances, my grandfather was happy to pay, because it wasn't giving away money, it was loaning it. I had a very weird situation of mostly being poor but like also getting taken to the "big donors" events at the Kennedy Center and my grandparents regularly buying me a dress as a child worth more than my mom's wedding dress and also needing to pretend I fit in with these people.
And look. When I say "these people"...honestly, by and large, most wealthy people, whether inherited or not, are not the assholes you want to imagine. Most of them are extremely nice. Most of them are generous when it comes to the less fortunate who are in their personal sphere of being. Most of them are just really out of touch. The 100% kindest of all of them that I know once relayed to me that she thought people would be happier if once a year they did what she did...go to the airport with a purse packed full of absolute necessities, buy a one way ticket to the most appealing destination on the flight board, buy your clothes and book your accommodations after you'd arrived, and come back after you felt you'd 'centered' yourself. She didn't understand why there were so many unhappy people who weren't taking this very obvious route to being happier. I didn't quite know how to explain that saying "most" people couldn't afford to do that either financially or from a job/career angle didn't even cover it, as "most" sounds like 70% instead of 99.7%.
I was both my parents eldest son and eldest daughter in the worst combination possible. I was the eldest son because I was the most stereotypically male of all my siblings, in everything from desire to physically fight the battles I was given to dislike of shopping/fashion to lack of emotional connection to my relationships, so I can now fix your average household plumbing/drywall/electrical issue better than most "city" guys I interact with and remain less clingy to them in the process. I was also very much the oldest daughter from a responsibility perspective, I managed our household and from age 10 - 24 managed the finances of our family business, my mom almost died giving birth to my youngest brother after a ruptured uterus that should never have happened in the first place if we had adequate insurance to get her a non-emergency C-section (I was just past 9 years old at the time) and I was informally withdrawn from school for two years to take care of the family when she couldn't because there is no paid parental leave in the US and we got double-fucked by the medical industry because she got a bad "mesh" put in and then had to have a further surgery to repair that which we also had to pay for and didn't have the money to win a lawsuit over.
I don't know quite how to put this, but in the deepest fuck you of the universe, my rich-immigrant-ggggg grandfather's money led to him owning banks, insurance companies, etc, and the family cashed out in a big way when their ownership was bought by and merged with what is now Cigna, one of the biggest US healthcare insurers, and my nuclear family specifically got screwed by the American health insurance industry, but anyway, we were the people selected for that karmic comeuppance so if you want to feel schadenfreude at my expense, I'll allow it without begrudging the sentiment, my family might have fucked up your family’s life too, not just their own.
I got up twice a night to feed my brother because my dad had to sleep unmolested in my room to get to work and my mom was too weak to carry my brother or even hold him against her while she nursed so I had to hold him up to her. Adjusting to living in a city and hearing lots of random noises all the time was not easy when I'd had mom sound instincts from age 9.
I learned to drive the fall my youngest bro was born because my mom couldn't and I had to get my middle brother to preschool and go the grocery store on my own. While I hold absolutely no ill will towards my father or grandfather for this and given that about 1/3 of my paternal family either has an autism diagnosis or should, I fully feel the struggles they both went through to be communicated with, my father wouldn't ask for help, and my grandmother that lived 20 minutes away couldn't give enough help because my grandfather refused to do a single dish on his own as that was outside their "marriage contract" type agreement and she couldn't ever stay with us overnight when there wasn't a clearly-communicated need, so they let the burden fall on a 9 - 11 year old child and that really shaped a lot of my life in both good and bad ways. My youngest brother is 22, and we have only just climbed out of the medical debt his birth left us with between my dad's life insurance and my oldest brother and I paying for the extra cost of out-of-state college tuition.
The irony of all of this is that because my father died before his father, when my grandmother dies, my siblings and I will all inherit enough money (as a non-blood relative my mom, despite keeping her vows to part at death and not having remarried in eight years, is cut out entirely) to make this a non-issue, but my grandfather couldn't conscience spotting his unluckiest child some money in the end of days to pay for my youngest two brothers' education and take that worry off my father as he was dying. The day before he died I had to hold him down in bed to keep him from trying to climb in his truck to go to work because he was so anxious about trying to provide for us in spite of his father having fuck you money, because his father didn't think it was fair to the other siblings (who, at the time, still owned a major hedge fund and were married to a C-level executive of a huge conglomerate). A day and a half later I went back to my job because at the time I was then the sole provider for the family and didn't want to risk asking for the standard week's bereavement leave when I knew I was capable of showing up at work the next day and was fresh out of college so hadn't built up a reputation yet.
My father worked the day each of us was born, so I suppose it is only fair and he smiled at the choice. In spite of what it may seem, I gave a baller and very heartfelt speech at his funeral to all his rich friends that over and above everything, he'd taught us how to be happy with our own lives no matter what, and multiple of them emailed my mom in the aftermath to say they'd reassessed their relationship with their children in light of it, although...tbh I kind of doubt that lasted and they probably changed nothing 😅. The last good talk I had with him, two weeks before he died [his liver was going and it sent toxins to his brain that de-personed him after that and he no longer recognized me as his daughter, but as his sister], I reassured him that though we would all be sad he'd gone, we'd live on just fine without him because that's how he'd raised us, and according to my mom that was what gave him the final bit of peace he needed. Although honestly, I don't think I will ever see the strength in another human again that it took my grandmother to sit next to him and stroke his hand and tell him to close his eyes and imagine he was happy on a beach and die, for God's sake, because he was unaware and in pain and just prolonging it for our sake by then.
That type of obsession my grandfather had with assessing his children and grandchildren on the basis of economic productivity and a very black and white idea of "fair" is one you don't easily forget, I promise you. My hedge fund uncle is currently positioning himself to screw us out of our inheritance because of janky writing in the will and I'm doing my fuck all best to gain the wherewithal to go toe-to-toe with this cold motherfucker in court as the oldest and representative member of my happily much nicer and softer younger brothers who I want to remain that way not because I even care that much about the money, I know what bills affect your credit first and what you can put off paying and all of us have good enough career prospects to do our own thing, but just because I want to give the middle finger to a man that was a multi-millionaire and drew lines on his milk and orange juice bottles when I came over so he knew if I drank what my parents couldn't afford when I was approximately six. Anyway, ask me why I support major reforms in wealth taxation. I don't care who it goes to, just not that guy, you feel?
Having expendable income was very exciting for a bit after I started working but once I got to the hateable point of assessing my annual bonus and internally complaining that I'd spent the money I should have spent on a Sauternes cellar to drop five digits on bedset materials (to be fair they are drop dead gorgeous, very comfy and the factory pays a living wage for people to handmake the sheets/duvets/pillows to people in San Francisco, which is not cheap, so maybe I did more good than harm with that), I two seconds later nodded to myself and went "the government needs to confiscate more money from me". The narrative is always that the "undeserving" will use it for dumb things they don't need like iPhones or refrigerators...?...but like...I could also have gone to Bed Bath and Beyond and bought a very nice sheet/comforter set for at most a tenth of what I paid so am I really spending it responsibly either....?....who is going to get more joy out of this misspent money....?....not me, that is for sure, I probably would have had more fun going to BBB and laying on all the demo beds and buying something there.
My lifelong dream, which may become possible if/when I do have something of an inheritance, is to provide food security for one of the many towns in the US were most residents don't have it. It's the thing I remember the most distinctly over the years. I never could quite believe it when I got to the point that I could just...pay to eat at a restaurant. One of the most disappointed my mother has ever been in me is when I was twenty five and confessed I actually had no idea how much a gallon of milk cost in a city grocery store besides that it was probably between $1 and $5, because I didn't have to know. For now I make a weekly drop off of my excess produce to a mom group I met under somewhat weird circumstances but I was walking through the cut-through that went through the low-income housing back to my apartment at like 2 AM on a Saturday and these moms were out there partying and smoking weed with their kids all strapped in strollers around or the older ones watched by a rotating member of the group and I felt very safe and like these moms had a very good vibe of both living their own lives [seriously for mental health parents but in most cases specifically mothers need to be able to keep up relationships with people their age] but keeping their children safe and accounted for while doing so and trying their fuckin' best against all the odds to figure out how to make that happen when life had dealt them a shit hand.
...anyway, looping way back to the original question of what finishing school is, when I was almost done with middle school my dad had built a legit construction business that then very quickly took off because we lived in a commutable zip code to the now-rich-in-their-own-right people he went to high school with who trusted him to redo their homes. We eventually moved to that zip code but I stayed and commuted back to my old high school. But, i was a pretty wild kid which my father appreciated for a long while because I would follow him around on jobs and enjoy doing physical labor, but once I was mid-puberty and also he had to maybe show me to his high school friends that did not fly.
I snapped - not broke, snapped - my left thumb and my parents had to trap me like a wild animal to get me to go the hospital. Then I got a deep cut that partially injured a tendon in my leg and at eleven I tried to beat the shit out of my dad to prevent him from picking me up to strap me in the car and go to the hopsital. Next I got a deep splinter due to my eternal-barefoot tendencies and it wouldn't come out so got infected and I refused to go to the doctor [another weird back story but I was minorly sexually assaulted [[to be clear, not raped or anything big traumatic]] when I was eight and had to stay in hospital for a week and my parents couldn't be with me all the time so I have a permanent heebie-jeebie about going to the hospital, not true anxiety, I will go if I know I need to and I don't breathe heavy or anything, and I'm actually not permanently weirded out by sex or anything, just doctors in hospitals specifically I kind of unconsciously try to justify not needing to the extent I can rationalize it] and my dad was tired of my antics so he was like "fine if you don't go I will slice your foot in half with a Swiss Army knife to get it out" and I called his bluff and laid down on the floor, stuck my foot on his lap, and he didn't really know what to do when a barely fourteen year old girl called his bluff so my brothers watched in fascinated but horrified awe as I got my foot sliced open spectacularly so that the infection/splinter could come out and I didn't even make a sound out of spite despite it being quite painful to my recollection almost twenty years later.
They saw me cry from pain exactly one time when while trying to break up a fight between all three of them (it was over ice cream) I got pushed and my ankle got dislocated and what actually made me cry was snapping it back in place and they realized it was not a joke. These dumb assholes that I love have ragged on me for "skipping" chores the day after I was in the hospital because the day before that I had to spend 18 hours running Thanksgiving as a good sub-hostess like I didn't have a serious infection that needed treating and couldn't rest because none of them were up to any task beyond peeling potatoes.
After the Swiss Army knife incident, my dad's discussion of sending me to finishing school became real, which I knew when my mom made me take a walk with her and talked about it. Finishing school is like...etiquette school....? In ye olden day when finishing high school was not the norm for anyone, wealthy men finished high school and wealthy women often went to "finishing" school to have a combined education on being a proper lady but also being able to hold a decent conversation with your presumably-educated husband, so it wasn't entirely etiquette non-academic. It was more just like "what a rich man wants in a wife" school, which was sort of household management and knowing enough about cleaning/cooking to correct the staff if they fucked up, how to be a polite hostess, and how to not entirely bore him when you were alone together and had done your five minutes of sex or whatever so actually had to have a conversation. In modern times it has obviously expanded to be less bleak.
I said miss me with that, I can be a girl on my own, so I went full throttle into the girliest sport they offer in high school and ever since have gained the inestimable advantage of knowing how to also use femininity to my advantage, which I am very grateful to my parents for making me learn. It would be great if we lived in a world where that didn't count, but it did/still does, and they really set me up to operate in all the worlds.
It is weird for me to tell the story to Internet strangers because it's one of those things that makes your parents sound terrible and abusive in the general tone of the Internet nowadays, and while I support gender nonconforming children I don't remember my childhood or parents that way. But, I feel like the bits and pieces of my life I've given don't always make a ton of sense together without the context, so here it is, and in the end, I think a number of parts of it are areas where you can probably understand where it makes me have the opinions I do when I write.
Anyhoo, this makes my life sound far worse than it is, I actually have a great life and I am not unhappy with it at all and feel I was on the whole blessed with many more turns of luck than unluck, so, please, do not take this as a depressed artist rant, it is more like a rant of a very energetic person who rants about a lot of things all the time and didn’t need to come out but just did because the question was asked and the time was right with my life being in a bit of flux to think about how I got where I am and where I want to go and why.
Always remember no matter what problems it seems like I have, if I didn’t solve them on my 2 year round the world traveling hiatus I took from working, it’s my own fault, I definitely had the time and money to solve them and just chose not to.
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Lost and Found
-> Namjoon x Reader
-> Soulmate!AU // Fluff
-> 6.2k (This fic was at 6,199 before post, and I couldn’t let that happen)
-> Summary: In a world full of soulmates and soul marks, you just had to get stuck with the dynamic duo.
-> Warning(s): none // maybe just fluff
A/N: I suggested the name to Belle as I was drafting the post, and she said she’d sue me if I didn’t use it.
ALSO! A BIG BIG BIG THANK YOU TO BOTH @multycoloredtaco and @purpletigertaetae for reading this and giving me some really good feedback! I love you both SO MUCH!
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Soulmates have always come in several different shapes and sizes. They’ve always appeared to each other in various ways. Your mother and father met by their own personal song that only the two knew of, one that played when they spared a thought to the other. Your aunt had found your uncle with a timer on her wrist, and your grandpa had the unfortunate fate of meeting your grandmother while catcalling her. According to him, it was a very eventful day, but at least her words to him finally made sense. Everyone in your family - besides your great aunt who hasn’t aged since the late 1890s - has had the amazing luck of finding their soulmate. Not everyone gets the luxury of being with their soulmate how they planned to. You’re actually friends with a shop owner who lost his soulmate about a year ago and hasn’t seen any color since. You honestly couldn’t imagine the pain he’s been through. Thankfully, your soulmate mark was not as painful.
It was just extremely annoying.
As a child, you never questioned the items that would appear in your room, thinking of them as odd gifts that your parents or your brother would leave for you. You were no stranger to finding a single sock under your bed, the occasional candy bar tucked away in your backpack, or the odd action figure that you would take to your brother thinking it was his. It wasn’t until the first homework assignment with ‘Kim Namjoon’ scrawled at the top that you began to think something wasn’t right. And that was only the beginning of what was to come.
As the years went by, more and more random items began appearing in your room at your parents house, your dorm in college, and finally your very own apartment. Each item you placed in boxes under your bed as a way to keep a piece of him with you until you could find him. However, you never imagined how forgetful and chaotic your soulmate could really be. You have everything! Clothing items, more homework assignments, various books, glasses, baby photos, and you even have a random girl’s phone number! You were tempted to call her when you first found it, but you figured that would be too weird. Instead, you continued to organize everything under your bed in hopes of giving it all back to him when you would finally meet.
Of course, you were a victim to your soulmate mark as well. Many jewelry items had disappeared from your room without a trace as a result. Hoodies, stuffed animals, and even a bra that you could’ve sworn you put in your gym bag - part of you hoped he’d hide it away because not only was it a cute bra, it was also expensive. Recently though, you’ve both been a lot more responsible. You haven’t seen any new items appear in your apartment for almost a month, and with your soulmates track record of losing 11 items in one day, a month was a huge record on his part. But you were starting to miss the gifts that would give you clues to him.
After you found out what your soulmate mark really was, you started looking forward to what would be left in your room next. Of course, it wasn’t always a win on your part, and sometimes what he lost was very questionable, but it always made you laugh when another item appeared in your room. At first, it was weird to think about someone else’s stuff appearing in your room with no prior warning, but it made you feel special to know that he was ultimately giving you pieces of himself every time he let something out of his sight. They made your long days more bearable. It makes you wonder if he’s the type of person to shower you with gifts when you feel upset or just to show his affection when he felt it was necessary. Especially on a rough day like today.
There was nothing wrong with your job, you loved everything about it! Life as a lead optician was actually a very rewarding job in the end. Helping others choose the best glasses for their face and individual personalities was one of your favorite parts, you loved watching little old ladies try on vibrant, colorful frames to feel youthful. They’re always very excited to see clearly again. Then there are all the little kids who would sit down with you to get glasses for the first time, and the look on their faces when they finally got to see the world clearly was heartwarming. Their soft smiles and wide eyes filled with amazement always made you feel a little softer inside. However, not everyday was a good day, and today was really not a good day.
Everything was going perfectly fine until the 3:30 appointment showed up at 5:00 after the doctor had already left for the day and demanded to be seen. The doctor’s technician was so scared trying to explain to the patient that they’d have to reschedule their appointment, and the poor thing was just trying not to cry over the one person who couldn’t understand how society works. Obviously, as the lead optician on duty you took over, but this patient was one of the most inconsiderate people you’d ever had to deal with. Demanding to be seen, demanding to buy glasses with an old prescription, demanding to speak to a manager - which at this point was actually you, so done and done - and just cursing up a storm at you and your fellow coworkers who all tried to help explain. The whole ordeal just took way longer than it ever should have to deal with, and it probably took at least 25 years off of your life.
“Why do people feel that they need to be rude to get what they want?” Soohyun had asked you, “Do they think it’ll just magically fix everything?”
You had agreed, “It’s like they think you’re really just messing with them. Like, “Oh no, sir! You’re correct! I apologize for the inconvenience, let me pull that out of my ass for you!” Though maybe not appropriate for the work environment, you’d at least made her day just a little better with your humor.
On days like today, a nice warm shower and a cuddle pile with all of the pillows and plushies that cover your bed made everything much better when nothing new appeared in your room. If the odd gifts the universe left from your soulmate couldn’t cheer you up, then you’d do it yourself. And that you did. Nothing felt better than the warm water washing away the day’s pain and suffering, the delicate fragrance of the coconut shampoo you splurged on easing your worries down the drain. The floral body lotion and leave-in-conditioner you’d bought on the same shopping excursion also help your body relax, their scents so intoxicating to you, that you almost topple over onto the tiled floor of your bathroom from the instant pleasure they pull from you. Instead, you make your way to your bed, adorned in your comfiest PJs and fluffiest socks.
However, you weren’t expecting to land on something so hard and uncomfortable when you plopped face first onto your sheets.
“What the heck?” Pushing yourself onto your knees and pulling back the covers, you find a small, golden trophy resting comfortably in the warmth of your sheets. On all sides it reads, ‘MNET Asian Music Awards’ with a small plaque reading, ‘2017 MNET Asian Music Awards: Artist of the Year’ at the bottom of one side. It takes you a moment to understand fully what you hold in your hands before it actually hits you.
Your soulmate is an idol.
A forgetful idol if he lost such an important award, but at least this gave you a lead as to who your soulmate is besides one of the most common surnames and a few measly pairs of mismatched socks.
Setting the award to the side, you grab your phone from your nightstand and unlock it, clicking on your browser and typing away. You look up the artist of the year from 2017 and find the top result to be a boy band called BTS. According to Google’s nice little summary and AllKPOP’s top article, they seemed to be pretty famous. Of course, you’ve heard of them before, and if you heard one of their songs then there was a good chance you’d probably recognize it! But you’ve never really been one for boy bands. You were more into kdramas if you were to be completely honest, they’re definitely your guilty pleasure and way more your speed than handsome young men dancing on stage in front of screaming girls trying to get in their pants. Could you really blame them? No. Not at all. Given the chance, you’d take it, but it wouldn’t be anything special if it wasn’t your soulmate.
Your soulmate.
Namjoon.
Changing your question, you search for ‘Kim Namjoon BTS’. If he actually pops up, then that would mean you actually know who he is.
Finding the nerve to press search, you are bombarded with three pictures above a description of him right off the bat - You hate to admit it, but soulmate or not, he’s definitely handsome. You click on a random site you hope will give you some useful information about the man who’s most likely your soulmate and are immediately redirected to something called K-Profiles. The site itself starts off with a group picture of all the members, followed by their names below it, and their social media handles under that. You’d have to look them up later.
The first member you come across is your soulmate himself. He has his blonde head resting on top of his arms with a soft, dimpled smile as he stares right back at the camera. Eyes locked onto his through the screen, you can feel your heart speeding up just from looking at him. You can’t help but smile back at him as if he can actually see you. As if he were right there ready to come out and say ‘hi’.
He’s absolutely breathtaking, and it isn’t even him.
You continue your hunting, scrolling further down to learn as much as you can about him. How old he is, when he was born, where he was born, what his favorite color is, you want to know it all! You learn that he’s the leader of the group, that he used to be known as Rap Monster before he changed it - that USB in the box under your bed made a lot more sense now. You learn that he has a sister, and that he and his band members are advocates for UNICEF, and that this man was so incredibly intelligent yet also known as the ‘god of destruction’ to those around him. But also listed on his profile is his soulmate mark.
“As said in a V-Live where RM explained a stuffed animal he kept on his desk, anything RM loses will appear with his soulmate and vice-versa. He has yet to meet his soulmate.” You read. You’ve lost quite a few stuffed animals to Namjoon, hopefully, it wasn’t an embarrassing one that would haunt you later.
You come to the end of his profile and to the top of another handsome man, yet you don’t scroll down. You haven’t learned enough. You need to know more about him, about how you can meet him. You have to know more! And that’s how you find yourself still up at 5am the next morning still wide awake watching yet another video interview of your soulmate just to hear his voice. A part of you is embarrassed for staying awake all night for some guy, but another part of you can’t let it go when you’re so deep already.
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You called into work after your late night-early morning escapade, telling them you caught something from one of your friends and wouldn’t be in for the next few days. There was no way you were going anywhere with the sleep you just got, and it wouldn’t be fixed in one day either. Even after sleeping the morning away you were still tired from your late night-early morning endeavor. It’s not like you really cared though, you had just found out who your soulmate was. And unlike a lot of other people in the world, you had an entire collection of videos dedicated to just your soulmate and his passion.
It didn’t take long for you to dig your nose back into the screen of your phone just to watch him make that gorgeous, dimpled smile. There were so many videos where he talked about you, sharing some of the items you had lost with his fans like they were his best friends. He looked so proud to be showing off your things, and the look in his eyes when he’d get lost in his own thoughts just looking at them made your heart melt.
You’d heard your mom and dad talk about how happy they were to have a special song just for the two of them. Your mom used to tell you all about the day your father tracked her all the way from the grocery store, pushing through the crowd like a love interest in a kdrama because he heard her humming their song to herself. At a young age you always thought it was sweet and wanted to meet your soulmate just like your mom had, but you eventually realized as you got older that a strange person following you home is not something you want. However, now you kinda wished it could work like that, seeing that your soulmate was practically untouchable.
Of all the people in the world, you just had to get stuck with a celebrity with millions of girls from all over the world fawning over him. Getting chased in the streets must be on this guy’s workout regimen by now! How were you supposed to get anywhere near him without spending over $1,000 just to look at his face?
“How much are those fan-meet things?” You ask yourself aloud. Innocent enough, but nothing could’ve prepared you for the entire process that came with going to just one fansign. This wasn’t something you could just buy a ticket for. No. You had specific steps that you had to follow or you wouldn’t even stand a chance. There were so many steps that you were tempted to just find his company and blast music until security came to take you away. Maybe you’d at least get to meet him when they filed a restraining order.
No. You HAD to meet him. You haven’t saved all of his lost things just for you to chicken out now.
So, you made a fancafe account and waited for their next promotion to purchase an album, you waited for the lottery winners to be announced, and you almost doubled over when you saw your name on the list from the store. You thought 3 months was long enough, but the 24 hours before the event were the longest hours of your life. So long that you couldn’t even sleep!
That’s where the wrench comes in.
You hadn’t meant to stay up so late at all, but you were really excited to finally meet the man that’s been losing everything he touches - especially now that he’s started losing air pods under your bed. So, when you woke up at 10:30am for the fansign that started at 11, you knew you’d messed up.
You messed up bad.
Of all the irresponsible things you could’ve done, staying up late was not the one you should’ve chosen to do. Now, you’d have to wait even longer to see him. Maybe the universe was right to give you both the worst soulmate mark known to man.
It wasn’t like waiting for the next fansign was bad, but it wasn’t the best either. Everyday that passed was another day that you had to watch him through a screen. Seeing his dimpled cheeks smile at the camera - at you - making your heart race. He was so close to you, but he was so out of reach. When the next fansign did come around, you had to make sure you made it on time so you could see it in person for yourself.
That’s what you told yourself.
To your credit, you almost did do that! But you had no idea there would be so much traffic. Not only that, but you’d tripped and dropped the box of things to return to him on the street and had to pick it up before anyone saw what it was you were holding. Because of those small issues, you made it to the venue five minutes after they had closed the doors.
“Please, I’m only five minutes late!” You beg, breathing heavy and labored. You stare at the worker just doing her job with high hopes that she would have some sort of empathy for you, but her face showed no remorse.
“If you wanted to be let in, then you should have been on time.” She scolds, closing the doors on you and leaving you outside to wallow in self pity once more.
At least the first time you’d messed up you were in the comfort of your own home where you could cry over your failure. Now, you were left in the open for everyone to see your mistake. You were so close too. He was just behind the doors. Waiting to see the adoring faces of his fans that you should be a part of.
Yet you’re on the streets.
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“Don’t you think you’re going a little overboard?”
“What makes you say that?” You turn to your friend from your seat on the ground outside of the shop you’d purchased your album from, dressed in a light hoodie with a coffee in your hand. The light of day just peaking through the cracks between the buildings as the street lamps turn off for a new day.
At this point in your journey to meet your soulmate, you weren’t going to take any more chances. The store didn’t open for another 3 hours, and the event started an hour and a half after that, but you were going to be sure you had your ticket and made it to the venue on time. You didn’t care how early you were, you were going to see Namjoon if it was the last thing you did.
The poor, tired woman seemed to pick up on your indifference to your change in behavior and sighs, “Nothing in particular. I’m just concerned that maybe you’re taking this to the extreme now.”
“I’ve tried and failed three times already, Bomi. I cannot miss another chance to meet them!” You explain, taking a sip from your warm cup.
“Maybe the universe is trying to tell you that they’re just a boy band and you shouldn’t get so excited over them. They all have soulmates anyways.” Of course she didn’t know that you were going because one of them was your soulmate, but you couldn’t risk anyone finding out and telling your soulmate before you could tell him.
“I know that, but it’s worth it!” All the hours you’d spent waiting, watching their new content, reading their tweets and various posts from other social media wishing you could see him in person for just a moment. This was the fourth attempt, and you didn’t want to continue this cycle of hit and miss. “I’m not missing it this time.”
“Well, waiting outside of this shop so early just to get a ticket that’s already yours is absurd!”
“You didn’t have to come with me.” You grumble. It wasn’t like you didn’t know that. You were very much aware of the fact that it was insane. It was something you thought about every time you failed to make it into the venue! Having her reiterate what you already knew did not make it any easier.
However, your acquaintance wasn’t having your response, “I did. You blackmailed me into coming with you so you’d actually do it right, remember?”
The vague memory of sending her an embarrassing picture you had as a way to convince her to come flashes through your mind. So maybe your methods were unconventional, but they worked. “That’s not important!”
You both continue to wait by the store’s entrance, making light conversation as more people begin to show up for their own tickets. Of course, you knew they’d be here, that’s why you left extra early to be there first. It was a good thing you did too, because as the time ticked on and the line grew longer, it became obvious a lot of fans had purchased their albums from the same store you had. Even as the store owner arrived to start their day, not at all surprised by the line that had formed for them, there were still fans lining up for their tickets.
But in the end, you were first to arrive and receive your ticket, and that made you one of the first to the venue.
“Alright, we made it. This is where I leave you.” Bomi hikes her bag further onto her shoulder and turns to face you one last time before she leaves, “Don’t make a fool of yourself in there. And do not show them your airpod collection!”
‘Oh, I’m returning the airpod collection…’ You think to yourself, sending a quick wave goodbye to her.
Waiting for the doors to the venue to open didn’t take as long as you’d thought it would - security check taking even less time. You found your seat pretty easily as well, being placed on the left side of the empty table in the middle of the sea of chairs. Taking the time you have while everyone finds their seats, you take a peek inside of the box you’d brought to grab your album and just look at everything you’d brought to begin their return to Namjoon. You made sure to bring every pair of air pods you had found - and hadn’t sold on eBbay - a few old homework assignments, USB’s, pictures he’d taken through his pre-debut, and the trophy he’d misplaced that lead to your discovery.
Hopefully his band members wouldn’t be too upset with him.
You’d learned a lot about each of them over the two years you’ve spent trying to meet with Namjoon. So many times you’d been tempted to put yourself on the fan page or DM them on Twitter, but you were too afraid of being drowned out by other ARMYs or one of the other boys blocking you before Namjoon could see. No doubt they each probably had hardships of their own trying dodge fans claiming to be their soulmate. Watching as they each come to the stage individually, you could see why anyone would lie to call them theirs. You couldn’t deny how handsome they all were - you’d be lying to yourself if you said you thought they weren’t handsome - but no one could compare to your Namjoon.
If you get the opportunity to meet his stylist, then you’re going to give her the biggest hug for making him look this amazing! It was just a plain white, button down shirt tucked into a black pair of dress pants, but the top two buttons of his shirt undone and the grey, satin suit jacket with the addition of black, square glasses and his brown hair neatly parted to the left make him look like a god - should they exist. He takes your breath away, even if you’ve seen every picture and fancam you were able to find. The universe really said, “this one deserves the best” and threw you the biggest catch out there. You could only hope he enjoyed the simple pair of jeans and pastel yellow sweater you’d thrown on for the occasion.
It takes a while before they begin the meet and greet part, the boys introducing themselves and asking questions, letting their fan sites take pictures before they turn their attention to the individual fans as they pass them. With every moment that passes by, every row you watch stand and enter the line to the stage, you become more and more nervous. Of course, you knew your soulmate was truly Namjoon, but you were still terrified to reveal that truth in front of everyone. You’d seen a few announcements regarding the boys and their soulmates, talking about how their respective soulmate would be treated like another one of the boys and would be protected by BigHit as soon as they were found. You knew you’d at least have his company behind you, but…
What about his fans?
You can’t help but fester in your own thoughts, letting them consume you even as you make your way into the line with your box. You try your best to muster up the courage you need, but the looming presence of the table getting closer and closer makes your breathing harder. All you need to do is remain calm. They were just people.
The people who’ve spent almost 7 years with your soulmate.
And your soulmate himself.
No biggie.
“Ma’am.” The voice of the staff keeping the line interrupts your internal panic, pulling you back to reality. He points to the table where an excited Taehyung smiles eagerly at you with an empty space in front of him. “You’re next.”
“Yes! Thank you.” Reeling from embarrassment, you quickly kneel down to the space in front of the table. You give a small bow and hand over your album to the boxy-smiled boy in front of you, your hands shaking from how nervous you are. All you had to do was make it through 5 more boys and you’d meet your soulmate.
5 more people....
...and you’d meet your soulmate.
A hand lands on top of your own, “There’s no need to be nervous!” Taehyung is bright and happy, calmly running a thumb over the back of your hand as he uses the other to sign your album. His eyes shift from you to the paper and back to you, “You’re doing great~”
You felt a little bad for probably ignoring him. He must’ve been trying to introduce himself when he’d noticed you’d spaced out yet again. Yet here he was, acting as though it wasn’t even that big of a deal. Of course, he still had about 50 more people or so to have a minute conversation with, but he genuinely seemed to care. It made you feel more confident.
“Thank you.” You say, a smile gracing your lips. You were still nervous, but at least now you felt calm and somewhat collected to at least make it through the other members. You move onto Yoongi, then to Jeongguk, to Jin, to Jimin, and then to Hoseok. Once again, you’re feeling a little guilty about the time you spend with him. It wasn’t like you weren’t excited to be in front of him, but your soulmate was less than 2 feet away from you looking like he walked out of a Vogue photo shoot with a happy little smile on his face. Hopefully, if all goes well you can apologize to him for being distracted.
The staff moves everyone along and your time finally comes. You bid Hoseok a quick thank you and goodbye and move yourself in front of Namjoon, his box tucked close to your body as a way to keep you grounded.
Namjoon takes your album from Hoseok before he turns his full attention to you, his dimples that you’d been obsessed with since you’d first seen them making an appearance. His dark brown eyes stare into your own, “Hi, what’s your name?”
You’re so entranced by the man in front of you that you almost don’t respond. You manage a quiet, “(Y/n)...” But you’re so stunned and breathless that you think about repeating it just to make sure he hears it.
“Really?” He asks. His eyes widen for just a moment, and you know he recognizes it from a homework assignment or a book you’d probably lost with your name in it. You watch his shoulders as they tense and then relax as if they’d never lifted in the first place. “I really like that name. It’s one of my favorites.”
You watch him turn to the album in front of him, looking for the page you’d like him to sign. Being in front of him now, you feel your confidence grow. You can’t help yourself, “Really? Is there a reason?”
“I’ve just always liked the name.” He says, looking up momentarily with a tight smile. He probably didn’t want to be too obvious about his soulmate - well, you - so fans wouldn’t go looking for you. That must be the one downside to the life of an idol. You watch him carefully, taking in the way he handles your album with care. You watch him flip through pages, his smile slipping for a confused frown. He looks at you, “You don’t have a question for me?”
You jump at the sudden realization that you hadn’t given him the box yet, “No! I do…” This was it. You look from him to the box you’ve clung onto for two years, “It’s inside the box.”
Carefully, you slide the box forward, feeling the nerves you’ve been feeling all day spring to life. He takes it from you with a grateful smile, probably expecting a bear or something you’d made yourself just for him. But judging by the look on his face, you can tell he wasn’t expecting to find the objects in front of him. His shocked face makes you chuckle.
“I’ve always wondered how one person can lose so many things. I understand homework and socks, the airpods, but an entire trophy, Namjoon? How do you lose a trophy?” You ask. You wait for an answer, but he looks as if he’s completely shut down. His jaw hangs open ever so slightly, and his eyes are wide in disbelief. You see a glisten in his eyes and your amusement turns to worry, “Are you okay?”
The leader turns to you, glistening eyes staring into your own. His mouth opens and closes and it looks like he’s trying to find the right words to say, “I-...I don-...oh my god, you’re actually here.”
You watch as the shine in his eyes turn to tears that slowly roll down his cheeks, his mouth struggling to decide if he wants to frown or smile. You’re more worried than anything, “Wah-! Don’t cry! Why are you crying?!” You reach for his hands that still rest on the sides of the box, mimicking what Taehyung had done for you when you first stepped up to the table. “Please don’t cry.”
“I can’t believe you’re here.” He says softly, his voice cracking ever so slightly. You’re still confused if he himself is happy or not, trying to make sense of why he’s crying when he just met you. You watch his eyes drift over you with an unclear expression. Was he happy? Was he sad? Were you supposed to be reacting the same way?
“You’re beautiful…” He says, teary eyes meeting your own.
“So are you.” You respond. It’s only after the words fall from your mouth that you realize what you said and you try to correct yourself, “Handsome! I meant to say you’re handsome! You’re very attractive in a very masculine way, but that’s not to say you don’t express femininity well when you choose to and you look good all the time and-” Amidst your struggle for the correct words, he’d begun to laugh at your own expense. Not how you imagined this meeting to go, you shrink back to your side of the table, “I’ll just stop talking.”
“No! Please, keep talking.” He begs, moving forward to come closer to you. He pulls on your hands that still connect across the table, squeezing to reassure you that he still wanted you to be near him. It felt so nice to have him hold your hands, so nice and comforting, that you must’ve missed the glistening in your own eyes, “Now you’re crying!”
Your hands pull from his to hide your face, “No I’m not, it’s just raining inside!”
As you try to wipe away your tears, you hear the voice of Jimin call over the speakers just off to the side of the table, “You’re not supposed to make the fans cry!”
“I didn’t mean to!” Namjoon defends. In all fairness, you did make him cry first, so this was probably fair.
Hoseok claps his hands together, his voice just subtly coming through the speakers as well, “This is so sweet! We’re all witnessing two soulmates meet for the first time!”
“It’s like a movie, but without the flower petals.” Taehyung adds, having a mic of his own on his side as well.
“Miss.” Another staff member appears next to you, only this time they’re offering a hand and a smile, “Could I have you come with me?”
You’re nervous at first, not sure if going with this staff member would be the best idea. However, the presence of Namjoon’s hand on your own once more draws your attention to his heartwarming smile, “It’s okay.”
You nod and stand, allowing the staff to lead you behind the table and into the hallway to a waiting area. They have you sit on the couch, assuring you that Namjoon and the others would be there to see you soon. This at least gave you a moment to collect your thoughts and come to the realization that you really just met your soulmate after so much hard work to get there. You’d thought plenty of times that you’d regret trying to meet him this way, but now you couldn’t be more elated that you actually got to speak to him and hold his hands. You made him cry - what were hopefully - tears of joy! Even as their manager sits down to make small talk with you while you wait for the end of the fanmeet, you can’t help but to feel as if you’re on cloud 9.
It’s not too long until you hear that the meeting has come to an end, making your heart rate speed up. Once again, you take a deep breath in and let it out, preparing yourself to face Namjoon again. Only when he does come in, you both just stare at one another. Him from the doorway with his members waiting behind him and you from your spot on the couch. You’d already met, you’d already held hands, but this...he was right there.
“Well, are you going to talk to her or just look at her?” Jin asks, a mischievous smirk gracing his features as he stares at the younger.
It would seem that the small jab at the leader was all he needed to push himself forward, legs moving swiftly across the room in long strides just so he can reach you. You stand, intending to meet him halfway, but he’s already pulling you into a much needed embrace before you even get the chance. His arms wrap over your shoulders, caging you close to his chest as he leans down to rest his head on your own. He smells so nice, and his embrace is so warm, they almost distract you from the wetness you feel on top of your head.
“Namjoon…?” You ask, worried you might make him cry more by asking.
The man himself pulls back, quickly moving to wipe his tears as if he hadn’t already cried in front of you already, “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m so emotional right now.”
“Don’t apologize. I think it’s cute.” You assure him. You look down, feeling a bit embarrassed yourself, “Much cuter than showing up to your fansign with a bunch of your things.”
“How long have you known?” He asks.
“2 long and painful years.” You sigh. Thinking back on everything you’ve done since discovering who and where he was, you can’t help but be thankful it worked out this time around, “I’ve tried coming to a fan sign 3 times before this.”
“Couldn’t win a ticket?” Jeongguk asks from the side, a bottle of water in his hands.
Your sheepish smile turns into a strained one, “Yeah...we’ll go with that.”
Yoongi seems to pick up on your change in attitude, “Don’t tell me…”
“No wonder the universe put them together, they’re a match made in heaven!” Jin laughs, the sound being much more entertaining in person. The other members of BTS continue to talk amongst themselves, discussing the scene before them as well as how exciting the day had been. But Namjoon, instead, focuses all of his attention on you.
“Please tell me you’re free for the rest of the day.”
For once, you were more than happy to use your holiday time, “I’m free for the rest of the weekend.”
“Good.” He says, giving you another look at his beautiful, dimpled smile.
“Good...”
*
*
*
“So, what’s in the box?”
#fae fic#fae writes#sope-and-shine#lost and found#cypherwritersnet#bts#bts au#soulmate au#bts soulmate au#bts soulmate#kim namjoon x reader#namjoon x reader#rm x reader#bts rm x reader#knj oneshot#knj x reader#bts rm#kim namjoon#x reader#female reader#x female reader#fanfiction#fan fiction#bts fanfiction#fluff#oneshot
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Ship: Mammon/Fem!MC
Rating: M (Mature)
Warnings: Alcohol, violence, cursing, some making out wink wonk
Summary: MC and Mammon go to a casino, but when Mammon gets too caught up in a scheme and leaves you hanging, another demon decides you’re easy prey. On the bright side you get to see why Mammon is the second strongest. Ends in angst/comfort.
So perhaps this hadn’t been such a good idea.
You stumbled along the corridors of the casino, mind cloudy. You turned your head ever so slightly, and immediately felt your sight delay for a second. You stopped and blinked, trying to catch your breath. Psh, you thought, you were fine! Totally. You only had a couple, or maybe four shots. Everything went to Mammon’s tab anyway, so you weren’t counting. Or maybe you stopped counting after the third glass of whatever-ma-thing-california-tequila you had. It was sweet and nice and...
Actually, you felt a bit weird. This wasn’t a corridor anymore, but since when? You were holding your shoes because it was just so much harder to walk around in heels -- why had Mammon insisted in heels anyway? Heels were an invention to make women’s butts smaller and running away harder! That was a movie quote, you were pretty sure.
You sat down on a couch. It was black and felt nice to the touch. A cold breeze came from an open balcony, and while you did feel a bit chilly now, it also made you feel less... Weird. You weren’t particularly used to being drunk. Hopefully you’d sober up at least enough to remember most of the night tomorrow.
You looked down, elbows on your thighs, deep in thought. You were here so Mammon could scam people, and you’d be the pretty, well-dressed assistant to help take the “clients’” mind off of how sleazy everything out of his mouth sounded. Like a few magic words and “was that your card”s, it was easy money with cheap tricks, and he said you’d get a cut off of it. You didn’t need the money, mind you, you just wanted to spend some time with him. But he disappeared while talking to some people, leaving you at the bar while chatting to the bartender. As revenge for leaving his so-called partner you decided it was only fair to order a drink on his tab. And then another came, and another...
You squinted, feeling dizzy, and let out a breath. You put your head up, eyes closed, and took in the fresh air. If you kept your head down like this you’d only feel sicker, right? You opened your eyes again, and instead of an almost empty room you saw a stranger’s grin a bit too close for comfort, truth be told. You felt your stomach turn, and you were sure it wasn’t the alcohol.
“And you must be MC, correct?” she said your name with a strange emphasis to it, her grin never diminishing, like you do when thinking of an expensive meal you’ll treating yourself to after a long day.
“Yeah...” you hesitated. “And you’d be...?”
“Oh, just a friend of your friend. He asked me to take care of you.” she replied, a hand snaking its way up your arm. You were too drunk to react in time. It felt like both an eternity and too quick to process, your stare blank towards the action, and then you lazily looked up at her, painfully aware that you weren’t going to move quickly enough for anything. Yet, you felt your heart beat faster and adrenaline running through your veins. You knew damn well she was lying, no matter how smashed you felt. You sobered up a bit, and though not enough to actually be sober, it felt like enough to not stumble on your own feet if you ran. You didn’t know if that would matter, but it was better than the alternative.
The demon’s look was sickeningly sweet still, yet sharp. Like she was waiting for your move, to read if you actually saw through her poorly told lie. Your drunk mind trailed off to Hansel and Gretel’s candy house, and how it was used to lure them to the witch. And how you didn’t leave any crumbs for Mammon to follow you and hopefully save you. No, you were alone, and painfully aware of her grip on your arm. You tried smiling back.
“Ah, okay.” you replied, trying to pretend you bought it. “So, um...” you paused, trying to think of anything, absolutely anything, to keep the façade of oblivious intoxication. “Have you seen my friend? He’s like... Tall and dark and stuff. White hair.”
“I know, dear, don’t worry. I’ll take you to him in a second, if you’ll just come with me.” she pulled you lightly, surprinsingly gentle for someone who saw you as prey. You followed her lead, and for a second her grip on your arm was released. Your feet moved before you had a chance to think, and once you did you felt a sharp pain on your arm. You inhaled, not taking the time to look at the possible injury. You know the demon was at your back and would pounce if you slowed down for even half a second.
You slid from one corridor to another on your bare feet and ran down a flight of stairs, never having realized you were upstairs. You heard a groan behind you, and tears stung the back of your eyes. Suddenly you were tumbling, and everything stung. You know for a fact you didn’t trip. You felt pressure on top of you, only intensifying the pain, and black and white spots danced in your vision, but through them you could still make out the demon readying herself. You let out a pathetic hiccup and braced yourself.
Instead you heard a yelp, and the demon’s weight being lifted off of you.
Letting out the breath you were holding, you try to turn and look, a glimmer of hope in your heart. You grunt as your new aches flared up, but you still managed to prop yourself up with an elbow.
Right next to you was Mammon, demon form unleashed, holding the other demon up high by the throat as she struggled to put her feet down to no avail. He had an aura of seriousness about him, which, yes, you would expect from any of the brothers if you were ever hurt, but with Mammon it was different. You’re far too used to him gloating and boasting and jesting even when the situation is dire. But now you can’t help but notice there was no humor to his eyes. A tint of ferousciousness colored them instead.
“Tell me: what do you think you were doing?” his voice had a deep, cruel tone instead of his usual goofiness. He let the words hang in the air as the other choked, hanging just as much from his grip.
The position you were in began to hurt, and you tried to sit up further. A sharp pain blazed through your chest, and you wheezed, arm wrapping itself around the area. Shit, did you break something?
“Hey,” Mammon’s voice spoke higher than the pain. Cruelty no longer laced it, but it still sounded so much more serious than usual. “how bad is it?”
“Pretty bad.” you coughed back. You noticed the demon squirming more, and guessed he squeezed harder. “Don’t kill her.”
“I don’t, usually.” he paused, and the demon’s squirming seemed to stop as well. You could barely process it, but the next second a wall had been cracked, her body making more unpleasant sounds than your own. Your breath hitched, but Mammon wasn’t even paying attention to the demoness anymore. Instead he’d directed his attention at the staff members, who all seemed to be either gasping or gulping. “Get her information. Pass it to Lucifer. He’ll want to have a talk.” the scorn, disdain, hatred. All of it was clear in his tone.
And then he turned to you, changing from his bare chested demon form, to his previous attire that night. A simple suit, carefully disheveled, sunglasses on top of his head.
“Tell me if it hurts, alright?” his tone was kind now, barely a whisper. His hands were gentle as he lifted you up from the ground and walked out of the casino, carrying you. You placed your head on his chest. You could still smell his cologne as the haze from before eveloped you, this time both it and the exhaustion putting you to sleep.
You woke up to the sound of yelling outside your door. The dim light from the corridor was just enough for you to make out that you were back at the House of Lamentation, and that the bed you were in was yours. From there you could also hear people speaking loudly, the volume of their voices only increasing.
“... been so stupid, as usual!” a deep voice was exasperated. Satan or Lucifer, you’d say.
“Shouldn’t we just take her to a hospital?” another deep, but this time softer, voice. Beelzebub, you guessed.
“No, he said nothing was broken. It’s best she rests here, where we can keep an eye on her.” it was definitely Lucifer this time.
“You could’ve killed her, you know?” a soft voice snapped. Asmodeus. “How could you just leave her at the bar like that? Did you even notice she wasn’t there anymore?”
“I gotta say, that was a dumbass move even for you.” Leviathan chimed in.
Through all that Mammon kept himself quiet. That is, until now.
“I’ll apologize to her when she wakes up.” his voice was tiny, the façade of an egocentrical bastard completely gone. That seemed to surprise everyone, in fact, as there was no more snark thrown his way.
You understood. Yes, he shouldn’t have left you alone, but maybe you shouldn’t have overdone it like you did. You were mad you got ditched, but you didn’t blame him for being attacked.
“Alright.” Lucifer was the first to break the silence. “We’ll bring you some tea later.” Mammon probably nodded, as there was no audible response before you heard steps getting farther away from your door. Then it opened, and you instinctively closed your eyes as if to pretend you didn’t catch any of the previous conversation.
You heard someone approaching, stopping right next to your bed, and then kneeling. He searched for your hand on top of the bed, the slight cold from the lack of a blanket entirely covering your arm quickly substituted by the heat of his own hands. He held it for a second, and you felt your face burn with his stare. At this point you were sure it was Mammon. He sighed, almost as if to confirm your suspicions, and carefully placed your knuckles on his forehead. You felt a bit of movement on your side, like he’d buried his face on the sheets.
“I’m sorry.” he muttered, voice not above a whisper, muted further by the bed. He then moved your hand, lips gently touching it as he continued to speak, this time a bit more clearly “I should’ve been more careful. I thought... I don’t know what I thought.” he confessed, pain and regret finely threaded in-between his words. ”I thought you’d be fine. I didn’t know you would get completely drunk and run off to where I couldn’t see and... And it’s my fault, even if I put it like that. And I know it. I’ll do better.”
His hands squeezed yours ever so slightly, as if he was afraid to break you further.
“I’m supposed to protect you, damn it...” his voice shook. “I’m supposed to not be such a screw up all the damn time. I’m the second oldest, and if I can’t even protect a single human from one minor demon...” he sighed, letting the thought hang in the air.
“But you did.” you replied, attempting a smile. Mammon looked back at you, startled, eyes sparkling with what you weren’t sure were tears or not “I’m sorry I made you go through this.”
“You...” he stuttered. “Ah... You heard all that, didn’t you?” he sounded sheepish, looking away. “It’s not your fault. You know it’s not your fault.”
“And it’s not yours either.” You attempted to move your other hand, change positions. You wanted to caress his hair, tell him, show him you were fine and everything would be okay. Instead you hissed as pain shot through your chest.
“Ah! Hey, hey!” startled, he gently held your shoulder in place. “Don’t... Don’t do that. You’re already all purple and blue, you don’t need more bruises. Humans are too fragile.” he tried to go back to his usual persona, but it was much less effective than he was hoping for. He frowned, looking at the bandages on your arm, where you know for a fact the demon had put her nails and cut you. You weren’t sure you wanted to know how deep those went. “I’m sorry.”
“C’mere.” You simply replied, and before he could say anything else you put your hands on each of his cheeks, pulling his forehead to join with yours. “I’m okay. I’m here. And I don’t blame you.”
“That makes one of us.”
“Shush. Now, come on, I was saved by the Mammon. My knight in leathery armor, my first man. How could I ask for more?”
He chuckled back.
“So how much did we make anyway?” you asked. You hadn’t let go yet. You didn’t want to. Mammon was sitting on top of your nightstand at this point, comfortably pressed against your bed and you, and he, too, made no effort to separate himself from you.
“Well...” he trailed off, his cheeks burning slightly. “Ya know, it was s’pposed to be a surprise, but I don’t think you’re getting out of this bed ‘till after the weekend, so I guess I could tell you...” again he let the words hang in the air before adding “For a price.”
“A price?” you replied, feigning ignorance.
“C’mon, I’m the Mammon. My services, whatever they are, always come with profit for me, myself and I.”
You hummed in response, face inching closer. Now your cheeks were burning as well, noses tickling each other so close they were. “I see. And what kind of profit was the incredible, showstopping Avatar of Greed thinking of?”
“Hm...” he let out. His breath was hot on yours, eyes half-lidded. His hands held the bed frame, arms encasing you in his heat even more. “There’s a couple of things...” A hand moved, carefully, tenderly, to the back of your head. You lifted yourself slightly so it could be easily placed, which only made the two of you all the closer, lips almost brushing. You didn’t move away. He didn’t move either.
And then he did, pressing his lips to yours. Carefully, passionately, yet with an underlying hunger. You pressed further, fingers tangling in his hair. He was Greed personalized, but you had your own spells of selfishness. He noticed, his own cravings fueled by yours. He moved from your lips to your jawline to your neck, trailing kisses wherever he went.
“You--” he said in-between kisses. “That’s just one of the things you can do to pay me for information.” he had moved from the nightstand, now almost on top of you on the bed. Your heart beat fast seeing him like that. Disheveled, now with no care, no measures and appearances, simply messy because you did it and he wanted you to do it.
“Yeah?” you breathed out only to immediately bite your lip. You didn’t expect to be out of breath already. He placed his forehead on yours again, a grin spreading accross his face.
“Would you go on a date with me?”
#mammon#obey me mammon#mammon x reader#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me fanfic#swd obey me#fanfic#my writing#obey me imagines#mammon x mc
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dance in the dark (one)
words: 4.5k | warnings: 18+ content. smut, drugs and alcohol mentions. mentions of blood, weapons, serial killers, cults, etc. DO NOT interact with this fic if you are under 18
masterlist | requests
pairing: professor!spencer reid x student!reader
an: this is part one of a continuing prof reid fic, i have no update schedule for this so please bare with me lmk what you would like to see also send more prof reid requests i wanna do little non plot side blurbs to this fic with your ideas!!!!
What do you think the crowd at a sleazy downtown bar on a Wednesday night looks like? Here’s a hint- it’s pretty pathetic. If you’re at this place on a week day, really any night at all, you’re probably not in the best place. And that was true, for you. Although from the outside it appeared you had everything completely together, the truth you tried so desperately to lock inside was clawing it’s way out- and you weren’t sure how much longer you could hold yourself together.
Tomorrow was the start of your last year in grad school, something that should be a major accomplishment. But you were transferring here, after some unfortunate events that happened last semester. You’re not talking about that, though, remember? It’s a new year, a new city; you had the chance to move on from your past. But the only way you could do that is if you... kept it locked inside.
But you’d been doing that all summer, pretending to be someone you’re not, even using a fake name with strangers. You could completely reinvent yourself, and no one would ever know. And as you downed another jack and coke, you stared in curiosity at the lonely man on the other end of the bar, flipping through pages of what seemed like an exceptionally boring book.
He caught you looking at him, to which you quickly glanced away to pretend you weren’t, but you caught a slight smile out of the corner of your eye. You stared at the rows of alcohol behind you, avoiding looking in any direction, especially his. But you felt yourself smiling, a handsome man who had no idea who you were. Who didn’t know your name. That was something you couldn’t say before you were here.
“That guy down there bought this for ya,” the bartender huffed, his deep and raspy voice perfect matching his large and intimidating exterior. You smiled down at the glass, a perfectly mixed Jack & Coke with a lime. You raised the glass up to him and shook it, letting the ice clang against the glass.
“Thanks for the drink,” you said, raising your voice so he could here you.
“I’m not... super great at the ‘walking up to a pretty girl and saying hi, thing’. So I figured that was my best bet.” He smiled, taking a slow sip of his own drink, which looked like scotch.
“Can I come sit with you?” You asked, looking at the empty seat next to him.
“Of course,” he grinned, clearing his papers and readjusting himself in the seat. “I’m, uh, Spencer, by the way.”
(Y/N),” you responded, playing with the straw in your drink.
“Can I ask you something, (Y/N)?” He asked, a serious tone to his voice.
“Of course,” you replied, hesitantly.
“Are you having an exceptionally bad day?”
“Hmm,” you thought, your eyes locked on the handsome man in front of you. “I think I’m having an exceptionally bad year, maybe years plural.”
He laughed quietly, a deep chuckle, a relatable response. He knew more than anyone how miserable life could be. But this week, and most specifically today, has been exhausting for him. And he saw you, he saw the perfect way to relieve some stress.
It didn’t take much longer until you were back at his place, making out on the overly expensive leather couch in the living room. His hands climbing up your body, nails digging into your flesh each time he grinded himself into you. Your hands were tangled in his hair, the smell of fresh strawberries and a hint of coconut from his shampoo.
By the time you were both completely naked, he already had his mouth exploring your clit, his tongue playing games with you. He bit down on your inner thighs, sucking and nibbling at your lips. He added two fingers into you slowly, curling them perfectly to hit the right spot every time.
“I think I’m gonna cum,” you moaned, your body writhing with pleasure, his mouth and fingers still taking care of you. He quickly stopped at your words, sitting up and pulling his fingers out of you. He licked his hand, tasting you, a devilish grin on his face.
“You can cum when I tell you to cum. Turn over.” He commanded, grabbing your hips and flipping you over to him. He pushed on the center of your back and you arched, pushing your ass up for him. You could feel him position himself at your entrance, and slowly sliding himself in. You were surprised by his length, a slow whimper escaping your lips.
“Am I too big for you, baby? Can you handle it?” He sounded concerned, but an underlying tone of sarcasm and gloat in his voice.
“I’ll be fine,” you muttered, determined to take him. You felt the palm of his hand on your ass, rubbing the cheek slowly. It quickly lifted off, and came back down hard, a loud slap as his hand hit your bare cheek. You whines loudly, a mix of pain and pleasure overcoming you as he started to fuck you faster and deeper.
You felt him deep inside of you. He was the biggest you’d ever had, and with ever pump into you he seemed to climb deeper. The feeling of being under him, his length fully overcoming your body- you felt so submissive, you belonged to him. His hands gripped tightly into your hips, pulling you back into him as he pounded in and out.
“Can you handle this baby girl?” He yelled out, his hand grabbing a fistful of your hair and pulling your head back towards him. You yelped as he did that, the feeling of your hair being pulled sending shivers down your spine.
“I fucking love it,” you responded, feeling the need to praise the man who was in charge of your body right now.
“I want you to cum,” he instructed, his voice stern. You worried about what he’d do if you didn’t follow his instructions. You let yourself succumb to him, giving him full control of your pleasure. You started to feel a warmth spreading through you, preparing your body for a high of pleasure. After a few more seconds, you finally reached your peak, loudly announcing it to Spencer and whoever else could hear.
The sound of the pleasure he brought you, Spencer came quickly after that, pulling himself out of you at the last minute and cumming on your back. He pushed you down flat afterwards, and you laid there with him for a moment. He stared at you, covered in him, his property. In that moment, you belonged to him.
After you cleaned yourself off, you threw your clothes back on and got yourself together.
“I gotta go, I’m starting class tomorrow,” you explained, trying to sneak out without being awkward.
“I’ll see you again soon. Our story isn’t over,” he muttered, pointing towards the door and winking. You laughed initially, but realized how weird the comment actually was as you were walking out.
Luckily, your Uber only took a few minutes, and didn’t force you to talk. You scrolled mindlessly through instagram, thinking about classes, the thought of Spencer still stuck in your mind. As weird as it was to say, you truly didn’t think it would be the last time you saw it. You had a weird feeling deep inside that he was a very important person.
But, it didn’t matter, because you lived in a city with 700,000 people, and the chances of seeing him were slim to none. You didn’t even have a last name to find him on socials. You didn’t know his job, if he was even from here. In fact, you were quite surprised to realize you had just let a man you barely know fuck you like that. But damn, you did not regret it.
You crashed as soon as you got back to your apartment, setting your alarm for class tomorrow and passing out as soon as your head hit the pillow. You had your usual string of nightmares, waking up every few hours, covered in sweat, your heart beating through your chest. You took a few sips of water and fell back asleep, only for the whole cycle to repeat a mere hour later. When your alarm finally woke you up, you were groggy and nauseous, another night of no sleep taking effect on you. You dragged yourself out of bed, silently hopped in the shower and let the hot water cleanse the night away from you.
You brewed a weak cup of coffee, poured it into a travel mug and headed out the door. You were terrified of today, a heavy pit sitting in your stomach. You kept your headphones in the entire commute to the school, drowning out the conversations of others around you. There was no possible way they could know you here, but you still always felt that the whispers were about you. You avoided as much eye contact and interaction as you could, walking through the campus.
Luckily the building where your class was wasn’t too far, and you got there relatively quickly. Your first class was called Mass Atrocity: Early Warning and Prevention, technically and elective course, but something you were extremely interested in. Your program was called Conflict Analysis and Resolution. You wanted to be badass, take down cults and serial killers, talking them off a ledge. You wanted to go back in time and prevent Waco. You knew you could do all of these things, you knew you could be the best, because your brother was a killer.
It was why you moved from your hometown. After he was found out, it was unbearable to be around people who knew you. You couldn’t escape the hate, the public humiliation. You hated him just as much as anyone, but that didn’t matter. People were convinced you two were killers together, especially since everyone knew what you wanted to do with your life and knew you to be a huge true crime junky.
You had to get away from there, escape your past identity. You could’ve stopped him, if you knew what was happening. But the truth was, you had no idea. And you hated that, you shamed yourself every day for not catching on to him. You, of all people, should have known. But now, you will spend the rest of your life stopping anyone you can. You had too, you couldn’t let them hurt their families the way your brother hurt yours.
So here you were, in a brand new city, a new last name, a new life. You had a chance to start over, be a new person. You could learn from some of the best professors, at one of the best schools in the country, only a few miles from DC. Homeland security, the FBI, CIA… everything you had ever wanted, right here. Sitting in this classroom, people filling in around you, you had your whole life ahead of you. Your future was unfolding itself right in front of you.
And then he walked in. A brown leather briefcase to match a blue suit, his hair sloppily pulled behind his ears, a tie loosely around his neck as if he got ready in a hurry this morning. He probably overslept, since he was out late at a bar and brought a girl home. You stared at him, your stomach flipping as he took his laptop out of his bag and began to set up for his lecture. You tried to get up and leave, turn around and pretend you never saw him, but you were trapped on either side, unable to escape. You slouched in your chair, hiding behind your laptop.
“Good morning everyone,” he said, his voice raspy and low, a clear sign of exhaustion. “I am Dr. Reid, although I would prefer Spencer. I teach a lot of the courses for Conflict Analysis, so you better get used to seeing a lot of me.” Spencer laughed lightly, his eyes scanning the crowd to see his new students. He looked approving, nodding over the people, and then his eyes caught you.
He stopped in his tracks, locked on your face, your eyes moving quickly in random directions to avoid his gaze. You finally caught him, and he furrowed his brows at you, a look of disappointment. He looked away quickly and scanned the rest of the crowd, still looking discontent as he tried to shake the confusion away and begin his lecture.
He didn’t look at you once through the entire class. You were smart and took your notes silently, not asking questions or making a sound. He was an extremely captivating person, his stories and the way he taught so encapsulating. He was brilliant, by far the smartest person you ever had the pleasure of meeting. There wasn’t a thing he didn’t know the answer too, and you had so much you wanted to ask. You knew he could answer so many questions for you, specifically about your brother. But you vowed to never speak of him again, especially to a professor that you not only admire, but recklessly fucked just the night before.
Spencer wrapped up class, giving everyone a few final notes and instructions before saying his goodbyes. Before everyone was out of their seat, he interrupted the shuffle to say one final thing.
“Miss. Isaacs, could you speak to me for a moment regarding your registration?” He looked up at you for the first time in ninety minutes, and looked desperate. Your fake last name still rang odd in your ears, and it took you a moment to realize that he was asking for you. You nodded to him submissively, walking out the aisle and down the stairs to meet him at the podium.
“Do you mind if we go to my office?” He asked loudly, making sure the other students heard him speaking normally to you.
“Sure,” you whispered, following him out the door and down a hallway of offices. He stopped at his, fumbled with the keys, and opened the door to a very tidy office. You closed the door behind you and sat on one of the two chairs that were for visitors. He walked behind the desk and sat in his chair, a frustrated groan as he sat back.
“We need to talk about this.” He snapped, knowing that you knew exactly what he was talking about. “I can’t have slept with… a student.”
“Listen, I promise I won’t say a word, okay? I can transfer out of your class too, make it not an issue…”
“You have to take my classes to graduate. I’m…” he softened, leaning back in his chair and taking a deep breath. “I’m not gonna ask you to do that. You’re extremely bright… I remember getting your application. You deserve a spot here… I just don’t want you to lose that because of this…” He rubbed his hand over his chin, trying not to raise his voice too loud.
“Thank you for saying that. You were brilliant out there today… I was completely enamored by you. Why did you leave the BAU to teach?” You asked abruptly, only realizing how inappropriate it was to ask that after it had already come out of your mouth.
“You know, that’s probably pretty personal, you don't have to answer that.” You covered your face awkwardly, wishing now you could just leave and not make this interaction any worse.
“No… it’s okay. There was just… so much pain all the time. And most people take that as ‘I couldn’t handle that pain anymore,’ but truthfully, I had become so numb to it, it scared me. I needed to get out so I could learn to feel again.” Spencer looked at you, his heart feeling a thousand times lighter after speaking his truth. “I’ve never told anyone that. Not quite sure why I told you.”
“I… I’m really sorry. Sometimes it is really easier to pretend things don’t affect you than deal with your true feelings. I can really relate to that,” you laughed, remembering all the pain you were currently trying to escape.
“You are very, very beautiful,” Spencer interjected, his eyes exploring you, his mouth slightly open in concentration as he focused on your almost perfect facial features.
“Thank you, Dr. Reid,” you whispered, feeling a creeping heat on your face as your cheeks began to blush.
“I’d appreciate it if you called me Spencer.” He moved his eyes from your body to your own eyes, staring right through you. You felt completely unlocked in that moment, like he could see right into your brain and read your thoughts and secrets like a book. You knew you could close yourself up, hide away from him, but a part of you didn’t want to. The exhaustion of holding a heavy secret around ate away at you, and it would be more than nice to have someone who could carry that weight with you.
But not him, he was your Professor, and this was your future. You broke your gaze with him and sat up straight, looking away. You scanned through pictures on his wall, the same group of people in multiple photos. He had many books on the wall, some in languages you didn’t even recognize. There were piles of magazines and papers on the floors, a layer of dust on the frame of the floor, and a fireplace that was littered with ash. The air held a musty stench, with a hint of air freshener trying desperately, and failing, to make the room smell good.
At first glance, this office seemed tidy, that of a person with their life together. But the details were where that theory fell apart. He was holding on to his exterior, pretending he was okay, but inside this man was a mess. He was exhausted, overworked, and due to the multiple empty scotch glasses lying around, heavily drinking.
“You alright?” Spencer asked, his voice breaking you out of your own thoughts.
“‘Sorry. Zoned out for a second…” you muttered, still looking around the room, trying to notice any other displacements. “I should probably get going.” You stood up quickly, grabbing your jacket and bag and heading for the door.
“You’re in another one of my classes tomorrow. I checked your schedule,” he hesitated, looking at his computer for confirmation. “Will I see you?”
“I guess I don’t have a choice, right?” You raised your eyebrows at him, waiting for another comment, but he had none. You left after a few seconds, closing the door behind you as you left. You leaned up against the wall outside of the office, trying to ground yourself. You took a few deep breaths and checked the time, realizing you needed to get to your next class soon. You quickly walked to the stairs and headed towards your next class, your head still buzzing from Spencer that you weren’t even sure if you’d be able to comprehend anything. You took a seat in the next room, putting your head down in embarrassment as you waited for class to begin.
The next day you got to sleep in a bit more, but it didn’t make much of a difference. You still spent most of the night dealing with nightmares of your brother, but you had a new dream that scared you more than any of the others. You were sitting in one of Spencer’s classes, taking notes casually as he lectured. As he continued his powerpoint, the lights went dark and the slide changed to a picture of your brother. Everyone started pointing at you, calling you a killer, screaming profane things about your family. A light shined on Spencer, who was pointing and laughing with the rest of the crowd, walking towards you and pointing a gun to your head. Right before he pulled the trigger, he whispered “No one will ever love a killer.” His finger pressed down, igniting the gun, and…
Bam. You woke up. You felt sick, your heart racing and the contents of your stomach lurching around. You ran to the bathroom, vomiting as soon as you reached the toilet. You sat back against the cool tub, the cold feeling amazing against your hot flesh. You checked the time- 2:43 AM. You walked back to your bed and grabbed your phone, scrolling through instagram and twitter, trying to calm your mind. You had made brand new accounts with your new persona, paying bots to follow you so it looked legit. You didn’t want to post anything anyways, but you did love looking at baby animal pictures on the internet.
You were still feeling kind of out of it, and you reached onto your nightstand to grab your bowl. You smoked a little bit, trying to calm your body down enough to fall back asleep. Sometimes the marijuana and sleeping pills are the only things that calm you down. But you were feeling a little loopy tonight, and as you stared at your phone and tried to shove your anxiety deep down, you made a fatal mistake.
New email:
To: Dr. Spencer Reid, PhD
Subject: Empty
What do you do make the pain go away?
Sent from my iPhone.
You locked your phone and placed it down on the nightstand, curling up in your bed and falling asleep. You surprisingly slept through the rest of the night without issue, waking up from a deep sleep as your alarm went off a few hours later. You had effectively forgotten about the email, and didn’t have any reminder of it since Spencer had yet to respond. You casually made yourself breakfast, preparing mentally to see Spencer in class again this morning.
You left promptly after cleaning up, making sure you wouldn’t miss your bus to campus. You rode the commute with your headphones in, still ignoring the conversations of the strangers around you. You felt better today, at least knowing you’d be more prepared to see Spencer today than yesterday. All of that confidence immediately drained from your body as your phone vibrated, alerting you to a new text. Who the hell could be texting you? Almost no one knew this number.
Maybe: Spencer Reid
In regards to your email- you can never get rid of the pain. I wish I had a better answer.
You stared in awe at your screen, rereading the message a thousand times. At first you were confused, what email? But then you remembered, the fuzzy letters on the screen as you emailed him last night. Fuck. This wasn’t good. You opened the message, but didn’t respond, hoping he would see that if you read it and didn’t respond he would get the hint. There was no way you could go walk in class right now and go see him. But your bus stopped, right where you needed to get off, and although you desperately tried not to, your body got up and walked off the bus.
You continued to walk all the way to your classroom, sitting suspiciously close to the front. A part of you wanted him, the part of you that craved destruction and drama, the part of you that you saw your brother in. It scared you, because each and every day you felt that part of you come to the surface a little more.
Spencer walked in shyly, immediately scanning the crowd to find you. When your eyes locked, his face read a bit of relief, as if he was worried you wouldn’t come. He, too, wanted to see you. In all honesty, he couldn’t stop thinking about you since that night you spent together. He didn’t look at you long, realizing he had to start class at some point. He went through a similar introduction as yesterday, changing up a few things to meet this course’s curriculum.
When he started teaching his content, you became just as lost in his words as you did yesterday. You listened intently to every word, felt the emotion as he did, even found yourself on the verge of tears as he wrapped up his lecture. You were stuck in awe, unable to move from your seat as he finished up class. He didn’t ask to speak to you this time, he just walked out the door without another glance in your direction.
You needed to speak to him, at least to explain the late night email. You left the room and headed in the direction to his office, hoping you could catch him before a mob of other students. You could imagine you weren’t the only one who was engulfed by him. He was hot, and there were plenty of other girls in your class who would have their eyes on him. You started wondering how many students he’d fucked before you and felt sick, a wave of green envy washing over you. It was weird, how hurt you’d been at the thought of him with someone else, considering you aren’t even together.
You made it to his office, and luckily there wasn’t anyone else around. You knocked lightly on the door and heard a muffled “Come in.” You opened the door to Spencer writing on some paper, his demeanor slightly surprised as you came through the door.
“Mind if I close this?” You asked, motioning to the door. He nodded and put down his pen, sitting back in his chair.
“What can I do for you?”
“The email… and the text…” You looked down at the ground, now feeling embarrassed in his presence.
“Sorry to have texted you out of the blue… I got your number from the student directory. All the, uh, staff emails are monitored, and I figured it would be best if we kept our conversation… private.” He bit his lip submissively, playing with his nails.
“Why does it need to be private? It was nothing bad…” you enticed, watching the small smile on his face as you spoke.
“I’m afraid that it might end up there.” He dragged his eyes up to yours, meeting your gaze, seemingly digging into your soul once again.
“Why?”
“You know why.”
“Tell me.” You waited for his response, trying yourself to now see through him, read what he was thinking.
“I don’t think I can stay away from you. Something is drawing me to you and I can’t pull away anymore.”
You stood up from your chair, walking slowly behind his desk and standing in front of him. He uncrossed his legs and looked up at you, your head tilted down as you looked at the man in front of you. You bent down on your knees between his legs, taking his face in your hands and kissing him. He kissed you slowly at first, surprise lingering in his lips, before embracing you, moving with much more aggression as he pulled you into him.
You broke away from the kiss, leaving him confused as you stood up and walked to the other side of the desk. You sat back in your chair and stared at him, waiting for him to say something. Anything.
“Can I take you to dinner tonight?” He asked, breathlessly.
“Of course. 8PM work?”
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfiction#fanfic#criminal minds#criminal minds x reader
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in which you and grayson find yourself in the most absurd situation.
set in the 1800s, based on bridgerton.
a little bit of everything!! enjoy - feedback welcome as always! <3
“so, let me get this right, your grace”
“it’s grayson” he interrupted clearing his throat as you both promenaded along the river, your mama and his aunt following behind.
“you want us to pretend to court? may i speak freely, grayson” you asked looking up, grayson rolled his and nodded, loaning you were going to speak to him whatever way you wanted with or without his permission.
“we have nothing in common. and i do not like your manners and the way you treat me and others around you” you rambled looking around at the people, also promenading and looking for potiental suitors.
You also noticed how the men were gazing at you in a way you’ve never seen before. Like you were a prize, the feeling didn’t feel good, it felt as if you were some trophy.
But you guessed that is all what women are to certain men, a trophy they can win and put up high in their house. sometimes you didn’t feel opposed to being someone’s trophy, but with the duke beside you, that feeling never came. All that came was disgust and wanting to cover up your body even more than your mother already made you.
“do forgive me if i’m wrong, but have you the way the suitors have been looking at you, and all we’ve done is look at eachother and smile a few times” grayson said, moving his hand over towards the group of men to prove his point.
“you’re a duke, grayson. I’m not yet prepared enough for that” you say and he nodded, obviously agreeing.
“that’s why courting exists, and i’ve seen how impatient your mama is. It might get her off your back for a little bit. You have a little more time to properly talk with the pointer suitors.” grayson argued, stopping infront of you.
“so this is a rouse then?” you asked placing your un opened umbrella infront of you, leaning your hands on it. Grayson nodded and stepped a little closer, your breathe hitched as you felt his breathe close to your face. “an agreement if you will. you get more time, i don’t have any mama’s trying to wed their daughters to me. It’s a win win.” he said trying to convince you.
“it’s not like we’ll actually get married. tell your mama you’re leaving your options open, or tell her you’re madly in love with me” he teased earning a slap on the arm from you and wide grin. he looked around and smirked.
“so are we in agreement?”
“i think we are”
/
Soon enough people started noticing you and grayson together — more people meaning more potential suitors for you. your drawing room was filled with men and your papa was not one bit happy about it, and suprisingly neither was your mama.
They had both taken a liking to grayson.
You weren’t sure if it was his charm or because of his title, but nevertheless they were set on you and him courting for more than a week. you even overheard your mother talking to the head maid about a wedding sometime in the spring.
A wedding in the spring sounded superb.
A wedding with grayson in the spring sounded traumatic.
“Grayson” you asked both of you sat beside each other, eating a rather delicious piece of cake. Grayson even bought the most expensive one, just for the both of you. That rather impressed you, you admit.
“Y/N” he mocked leaning back in the seat.
“I’d like to know you a little better. I mean, i know your name, your title and that you have a twin brother. That is all, your grace”
“just how i like it to be” grayson replied. Grayson was rather young when he became the duke, his brother didn’t want this life (grayson had to be the bigger person). The stress of being a duke, has made him sour and cold, and not up for anything to do with marriage. If he was ever to marry he’s sure it would be the most awful thing to come to his short life. He doesn’t understand what the fuss is all about, if you love someone, why do you have to go through all of the dramatics, surely just saying it enough?
Grayson didn’t understand the fascination and he’s not sure he ever will.
“Well, what’s your favourite colour?” you asked earning, a loud laugh. you smiled at the sound, it was nice to see him smiling for once. You knew he had it rough, so you could take the coldness and moodiness if this it was came out at some points of the time you guys are ‘courting’.
“It’s green. like forest green. It’s a dark but rather happy green”
“just like you, grayson” you added, grayson raised any brow making you blush “i just met, that you seem rather broody and dark but once you actually sit down and talk you’re a very warm man” you rambled. God, you were just trying to make some sort of conversation and your witty comebacks were not helping you.
“Let’s get you back home, shall we?”
you frowned standing up, you saw the governorness walking slowly behind you both. even though you were very much out in the open, you still had to be chaperoned, a part you hated very much.
“forgive me, your grace. I didn’t mean to be so rude” you say touching his hand ever so lightly. Grayson cleared his throat shaking his head “never mind that. shall we finish the game of 20 questions?” he teased, easing the butterflies in your stomach.
“my brother is called ethan. Smart man. Married last spring. I still don’t understand how i’m the duke, the man is quite smart and orderly. And a sister Cameron, who moved to the country with her family some years back” he said you nodding and listening very carefully.
“I think you’re quite smart, grayson.” you smiled, you reached home a lot quicker than expected. And for some reason, you wished he would ask you out again.
“Hmm. Have a good evening, y/n”
And with that the duke left, only you and your governorness. “i think he’d make a great husband” your governorness, anna, whispered.
“yeah. i do too”
/
You were in the drawing room playing piano when the duke was announced.
“Lady Y/L/N, The duke of jersey”
you turned around to see the duke, your parents bowing and praising every move grayson took. you stood from the piano and met grayson halfway.
you smiled and bowed “your grace” you teased earning a laugh. you looked behind grayson and saw the smiles on your parents face and the nod the both gave you before sitting back down.
“i came here to formally invite you and your family to the ball i’m hosting.” he said his hands becoming weirdly sweaty and his heart beating rapidly awaiting your answer.
you looked magnificent today, you hair was up in braids and your dress was simple but beautiful. The necklace that adorned on your neck was something he wished he bought you himself, it looked rather beautiful on you. Grayson had to remind himself numerous times during the two weeks you have been courting that it’s not real, that this will end soon and you will both go seperate ways. But a part of him wants to just pretend it’s real, he wants you to look at him the way you do without any agreement or rouse.
but of course, that would never happen.
you were both too different, he was a duke for christ sake. It just wouldn’t work out. So he pushed those feelings deep, deep down. And hopefully they’d never reappear, like they are doing right now.
“oh, of course! i’d never say no to a ball!” you squealed, your mother cleared her throat to remind you of your manners.
“forgive me. It would be an honour”
“I was thinking i could buy you a dress? Go to the tailors, pick out anything and i’ll get it for you” he said, grayson insisted on spoiling you. Buying you flowers and now dresses, your mother thought it was sweet, you did too. But it was very unnecessary, you didn’t want him wasting his savings on you.
“Oh! my grace, i couldn’t ask that of you”
“i’m buying and that’s it” he smiled bringing your hand up to his lips, making your breathe hitch and your heart speed up.
“see you there, y/n”
/
The next couple of days were spent preparing for the ball and of course accompanying you in picking a gown. He never actually knew how much went into making and choosing a gown, he’d never speak bad about shopping how, he was exhausted.
“i like you better, grayson” you say browsing the fabrics. Grayson snorted causing some of the people around him to stare.
“and why is that?” he asked leaning against the wall as you picked out a few fabrics. It was honestly quite relaxing seeing you in your element. It made him happy to see you happy.
“you’re more open. you smile” you grinned looking over at him “and i must say you’re manners are magnificent, your grace” she giggled making grayson shake his head. “you’re strange” he mumbled, his heart doing that weird thing again, and this time he doesn’t push those feelings away, he lets them stay. And it feels pretty good.
“how many dances should we have tonight? i think two should suffice” you mumble looking up at your ‘suitor’. You wished it was real, there, you had admitted. you wanted to know what his lips felts like and his felt like without gloves. you wondered what he was like early in the morning and late in the evening. what he had on sundays and did he ever eat too much he was sick? all these questions would be answered if you just admitted your feelings, but no, you knew grayson did not want to marry.
And sadly, you don’t think you’d be an exception.
“Not too worry, my lady. I’ll take these from you. My grace” the lady bowed taking the fabrics from y/n.
“i shall have this complete in no time, i have your measurements and such, so i only need you to try it on again”
You had already tried on the main part of the dress, but you wanted some sparkly fabric to add to it and maybe a bow. It was just last minute (anxiety induced) details, you wanted to add before the ball.
“thank you so much. we’ll be back in an hour”
“i don’t know how you do it” grayson said as you put your arm around his. “well, i like to shop, i like design” you smile “it’s quite fun actually.”
grayson thinks it’s quite fun too.
“I can feel the glare of your governess. how about some miniatures?” grayson asked getting a smile out of you. you nodded “that sounds lovely, grayson”.
/
The ball looks so amazing, it’s not like anything you’ve ever been to before.
There’s chandeliers and lights everywhere and the paintings are the most magnificent things you’ve ever seen, why had grayson been hiding such an extraordinary home from you? You could love in this room, ignoring the massive castle the duke resided in. This room was something you could only wished you could pull off when you finally marry.
Maybe, one day, you sighed.
“why the long face, ms Y/L/N?” a voice called out, making you turn around with a grin.
grayson looked just as beautiful as the lights and paintings, dare you say handsome. Something about the way his hair feel and his skin glimmered did something to you.
Grayson could say the same about you — god, your smile and the way your eyes lit up just for him was nearly enough for him to propose on the spot. Your hair was done up, but grayson just wanted to run his hands through it and head you sigh in complete relaxation.
“No frown. The ball is so beautiful, your grace” you say bowing causing grayson to laugh.
“Come with me, i have something you might like”
The duke dragged you out of the room ignoring the looks of mamas and debutants. He pulled you into what you could only describe as some sort of exhibit. Paintings adorned all over the walls and a fire place right in the middle of the wall. This had to be your favourite room thus far — excluding where the ball is taking place. The paintings were absolutely extraordinary and somehow even with a handsome duke beside you, you couldn’t take your eyes from them.
“My mother painted most of these — i think all, forgive me if i’m incorrect” grayson started moving to a beautiful painting off the sky. “She used to go to this cottage every summer, she brought me down last year when i became the duke. I painted with her and we talked. She’s extraordinary at art a shame my father never let her sell any or earn any money” he said with a shaky breathe. “She died this fall, along with my father. So these are the only things i have as a reminder of her, or of them. My sister took all of their belongings for safe keeping. Ethan does not care too much. I wish i was trusted more” grayson admitted, basically knocking the wind out of you.
You knew his parents had died, but you never knew how much hurt he still felt. Of course, thinking back that was such a stupid thought. His parents had died one after the other, leaving such a young duke behind.
“Your mother is very extraordinary indeed. Just like you” you say getting a smile out of the duke. “i must say the clouds and the river one must be my favourite.” you say easing the tension.
grayson nodded in agreement.
You turn to the duke, only now realising how close you actually were. “i trust you. a lot more than i should, my grace.” you whispered looking up at him, a flush appearing in your cheeks.
“i wish i had gotten to know you sooner” he admitted making your breathe hitch. “i wish i never came up with this agreement. i wish i just asked you to marry me then and there. Because you are the smartest, most beautiful woman i have ever had to privilege of meeting”
your eyes filled up with tears, as grayson held your hand. He started to pull down the sleeve of your glove, you eyes widening but there was no objecting. You felt your glove fall down the ground and the duke big, soft hand take its place.
“We will be married”
“And you will be my dutchess”
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