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pandorasfavorite · 2 months

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Thought that I'd feel better

AN: THIS IS VERY ANGSTY. READ WITH CAUTION FR

Being this way is a curse. Something that feels so incurable and inescapable.

Morning by morning I attempt to convince myself that this sadness is only temporary, that if I tell myself before the day starts how happy I am going to be. That by some fucked up miracle it will work.

Honestly it’s kinda like feeling no emotion at all, imagine looking at yourself in the mirror and then that’s it. It’s just you, alone, staring into your own eyes feeling nothing.

“Hey! How are you?”

“Fine, how are you?”, you reply back while still walking.

“Good!”.

“Lovely day out!”, another person says while you walk through the halls of work.

“Sure is”, you merely mumble back, but in truth you haven’t looked up at the sky today.

The door creaks open and you sigh still shrugging on your gear for your match in 30 minutes. Dominik, Rhea, and Finn all walk into the dressing room with their good mood plastered on their faces. They fall back onto the couch laughing at each other and with each other, for a moment your lips turn up in a tiny smile. Yet that sinking feeling in your chest never disappears even with a twitch of a smile.

“You're gonna win out there, aren’t ya?”, Finn pops up to throw his arm over your shoulders. Shaking you and grinning, you crack a smile and shrug him off playfully, “Of course I am Balor”. You tighten the belt as far as it goes before sitting beside Dominik on the couch. Suppressing a small sigh.

Dominik slips a hand on your thigh, squeezing your leg to get your attention, “We already know you’re gonna do great amor”, he asserts. You look down at his hand and back to his inspecting eyes, “thank you”, you say shyly. Smiling up at him and at everyone around you, your lungs feel full of rocks, the inability to breathe was normal to you by now. It’s always been like this.

Beautiful moments of joy are constantly ruined by that sinking feeling in your body that is always returning to haunt you. No one has noticed the internal pain that you were going through... not that you'd let them find out though. It wasn't their burden to carry, it was yours, all yours... Now you are leaning your head on Dominik's shoulder, and you're silently listening to everyone talk as you do every Monday. You close your eyes for a few minutes, and at that time you force yourself to take shallow breaths to ease the pounding in your chest.

In and out. In and out. Part of you is burning to tell Dominik, to update him on the pain you are experiencing on a day-to-day basis for no reason. But it wasn't worth it. Dominik would most definitely feel guilty and responsible for what you felt. You couldn't handle hurting another person you love, especially not him. Never him.

"You ready mi amor", Dominik nudges you with his shoulder lightly, his smile is contagious. You nod up at him and give him that same shy smile back to him, "mhm" you reply. Dominik wastes no time and stands up. He pulls you up with him and manages to wrap his arms around you; kissing the side of your head kindly. You sigh a tiny breath of relief, so light that no one but you can hear it. Your arms weakly wrap around Dominik and you pull back just as quickly. His hand refuses to leave yours and he walks you the entire way to the entrance of the arena. He spins you around to face him (you have to look up to catch his gaze). "Kick ass out there", he brushes the stray hairs out of your face and his lips press to yours firmly.

You give him that fake smile that you wear every day. Being with Dominik made it easier, but so much harder to hide. With him, you had to work 10 times harder in order to make sure he didn't think anything was wrong. Though some days you swore he could tell. Those days he would watch you so much more closely and he would barely leave your side if he could help it. Out of the corner of your eye, you would be able to catch him talking to Rhea and Damian, telling them to keep an eye on you. Just in case.

You shake the thoughts from your mind and you give Dominik one more telling smile. You turn around and you walk out towards the ring. The match essentially went by in a blur, after many hits to the ribs you were sure that's the most you felt in weeks. Despite the physical pain you felt, you somehow managed to win the match. You plastered on the familiar fake smile when your arm was raised into the air. You should feel ecstatic and overjoyed by the win; you felt nothing at all.

How can you feel nothing? Isn't it just like intense sadness? You asked yourself these questions hundreds of times before, but each time you came back with the same answer. Nothing feels like seeing your life through a different lens. You could compare it to watching a movie, yet you're living it. Most days you have to convince yourself that it is real.

You walk backstage where Dominik is waiting for you. He looked beautiful, Dominik was the bit of light in your life you could hold onto. Dominik rushed towards you and swooped you up into his arms. You were spinning around and momentarily felt the spark of life you wish you never lost. He put you back down on the floor and he pressed a series of kisses onto the side of your cheek. "You did great out there baby! I already knew you would though", he comments while rubbing his hands down the expanse of your arms. You drop your head and you hold back from falling into his arms like you crave to do.

You can feel the look he is giving you. That one worried expression that he has so often, the one that makes you break in ways that are unexplainable. Dominik swivels his head to look at your face, "Hey, what's going on?". Your breath hitches at the question, the one you have been dreading. You shake your head and you wrap your arms around his middle; you rest your head on his chest. "I'm just tired babe, can we go home?", you use all your strength to sound normal. Dominik is rubbing your back now in comfort and you swear to yourself that if you are stuck in this building any longer, you'll go crazy.

When you get home, you instantly get in the shower. You turn the water all the way hot and you let the boiling water hit your skin. You feel everything and nothing at all. A tear slides down your cheek and the pressure in your chest comes back all too soon. The water shuts off instantly, and you have to remind yourself that it didn't happen on its own. God, you feel like you're going insane. You manage to wrap the towel around your body and you stand in front of the mirror, your reflection staring back at you. You have major dark circles and you could almost look sickly. trudging into the bedroom, you see Dominik sitting on the bed watching T.V. Though he sits up completely when you walk in with the same sad look.

You roll through your dresser and you slip on light clothes, not bothering with small talk. You walk to your side of the bed and you slip under the covers; only turning over to give Dominik a kiss. You turn on your side and you shut your eyes; fading into the darkness that is the only comfort that is given to you.

Dominik is a wreck, he is freaking out because he has never seen you this way. You're his wife but you're not. You are like a zombie walking around the house and giving him that fucking fake smile that makes him want to pull his hair out. He is at a loss on how to help you. Dominik has done hours of research and he has tried to give you space, he asked you what's wrong, even waiting for it to pass. But you are still stuck in this stump of sadness that has him in constant worry. His face is stuck in a worried look, but you are turned over and ready for bed. Dominik clicks off the lamp and he throws an arm over your body, pulling you to him as tight as he can. Scared you are slipping away from him.

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The morning comes and the loud ass alarm takes you in and out of sleep. Dominik is jolted awake as normal, his ears have always been sensitive to the loud noise. You feel him reach over you to turn the alarm off and you keep your eyes closed. Although you know he is still leaning over you and stealing a glance at your face. Dominik kisses your cheek and he slides out of the bed. You absolutely thought he was going to start getting ready for the day, but instead, he came around to your side of the bed. He kneels in front of you and brushes the hair from your face with utter care.

"Mi Vida, are you up?", he whispers and kisses you again. You grumble and shift in your spot, you are awake but you feel glued to the bed. "Baby?", he calls to you again, you hear it in his voice now. The shaky tone of voice and tremble of breath he so rarely has. You squeeze your eyes shut and you attempt to persuade yourself to get up. To stop hurting him. To stop being this way. "I can't", your voice cracks and your teary eyes open to look at his. "What?", Dominik said in a hushed voice, his hands were shaking with anxiety for you. "I- I can't get up, I need to stay here", you push out of your throat.

A tear falls from Dominik's eyes and it rolls down his cheek, his lips pull together and he looks away for a moment to control himself. he gathers himself and he nods, he holds your hand in his and he keeps nodding. "Ok baby- it's okay", he pulls your hand up to his mouth, and a wet kiss plants on the back of your hand.

#Spotify #dominik mysterio imagine #dominik mysterio x reader #dominik mysterio #Dominik Mysterio angst #Dominik Mysterio x reader angst #dominik mysterio fanfiction #dominik mysterio x reader fluff #dirty dominik mysterio #the judgment day wwe #the judgment day #angst #monday night raw #friday night smackdown

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bigtreefest · 1 month

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Chapter 6: Missing Someone

From: Bigger Houses Series

Pairing: Mountain Ranger! Ari x Reader

Summary: It’s time to tell all and talk about each other’s pasts

Word Count: 2,417

Content/Warnings: ANGST, kissing, use of pet names, no-good exs, crying and near-crying, miscommunication but it’s resolved

Author’s Note: I was gonna make it bad, but then I realized, it’s not like this couple to have a huge blowout fight and misunderstanding. They’re too good at talking it out.

Shoutout to my childhood friend I visited last week for helping me write this. He won’t read it, but I appreciate him indulging my thought process. Likes, comments, reblogs, and asks are sooooo welcome and appreciated!!

Dividers by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

Below is the song which inspired this chapter. It makes me very sad tbh. I skip it a lot when listening.

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You and Ari were going to build a new dresser in your bedroom. It had been nearly six months of being together officially. Your old furniture was breaking down already, so the two of you had gone shopping. Ari insisted he was just going so that he could provide his truck for hauling it, but you knew that wasn’t the case when he turned down the first three you liked.

“No, that one won’t match the wood grains of your cabin.”

“What’s the material on that one? Pressed composite? No good.”

“Sure Duchess, that one could work…if you’re blind.”

You rolled your eyes at that last one,

holding back a laugh. Sure, those were valid reasons, but any minor criticism was something you took personally. He didn’t even live with you! Finally, you’d gotten him to agree to a nice, subtle piece that complemented your bed frame without clashing against the rest of the cabin. The only issue was, you had to build it.

Once the two of you had gotten home from the furniture store, you were exhausted. Not only from the shopping, but from long drive since you had to go to the nearest city with hopes of finding anything good.

After eating dinner, you and Ari settled on the couch together, cuddling to catch up on the show you two were binging at the moment. Sure, you usually preferred to do things away from screens, but sometimes, there was nothing that could replace classic, trashy TV. The dresser could wait. Ari was laying on his back and you were laying directly on top of him, ear over his steady heartbeat until you drifted to sleep.

You began to stir awake and stretch when you realized the TV wasn’t playing anymore. Strong hands stroked your back and your eyelids fluttered open. Your sleepy pupils sparkled and dilated as you moved your chin to Ari’s chest to see him looking down at you the same way, him not even realizing the way he smiled when you were within this eye sight.

“Well good morning handsome.” Your voice was full of sleep.

“Good morning.” Ari leaned forward to kiss your nose as he pulled his phone out of his pocket.

“Looks like it really is morning. 2:47 am.”

You hummed in response. “I think we kinda threw off our sleep schedule with what was supposed to be a nap.”

Ari nodded and laughed. “Oh definitely. But now we’ve got all this time to be productive. You wanna build that dresser?”

You groaned and threw your head into his chest, smushing it your nose and mouth. “Yeah, I guess so.”

You groaned and sighed before your muffled voice came out against his pecs again. “Lemme go pee first.”

You pushed off of Ari’s chest, causing him to exhale most of the air in his lungs with a laugh before he watched you scurry to the bathroom.

Ari got up and walked toward your room to get started on the dresser while he waited for you. Just as he sat on the floor straddling the instructions and some spare parts, he heard a buzzing coming from the nightstand, lighting up your dim bedroom.

“Duchess, your phone is ringing.” He yelled out the bedroom door.

“You can get it. I’ll be out soon. It could be important since they’re calling this time of night.” He heard your faint response.

With a groan, Ari stood up again and took the few large strides towards your nightstand, picking up the phone off the charger. The number wasn’t saved.

“Hello?”

“Hey, is that you? I miss you s’much. You should come over.” A man slurred from the other side of the line.

Ari was confused. He knew the area code of the phone number wasn’t from around here, but who was this man and why was he calling at this hour?

“Who is this?” Ari gritted out the words. He was beginning to feel something. There was anger, there was frustration. He was hurt that this seemed like something that was kept from him. The man on the other side of the line continued to call out your name.

“It’s me. It’s Oscar. Where are you? My bed’s cold.”

That got Ari. It hit him where it hurts and he felt a pang in his chest. He hung up the phone and stalked over to the bathroom where you were washing your hands as his hands shook. You hadn’t looked up yet.

“Hey Bear, was it anything important?” You were met with silence, only Ari’s heavy breathing and the sound of running water filling the air. When he finally spoke up, you could hear a near-growl in his voice.

“Who is Oscar?” Your head darted up and your wide eyes met his through the mirror. You shut off the water, dried your hands, and turned around.

“He’s no one. No one that we should be concerned about, anyway. Why did he call?”

You could see the worry on Ari’s brow and the tears that threatened to fill his reddening eyes. “He said his bed was cold. He misses you. Is there something I don’t know?”

You broke your gaze with Ari, looking at your shifting feet on the cool floor while you fiddled with your fingertips. You took a deep breath and a step towards Ari, surprised by him taking a step back. He’d been hurt before and he didn’t need it coming from you, too. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion at his distance.

“Oscar is my ex. I should’ve known it would be him calling at this hour.” Ari’s look of hurt took on even more emotion; it was his turn to be confused.

“So he calls you often at this time of night? When I’m not around? And you don’t tell me? Do you always pick it up?”

You shook your head, reaching out to Ari, glad that this time he let your set your hands on his waist.

“No.” You whispered back, your watery gaze meeting his. “I know you and I have been a little private with our pasts, but I think it’s time we tell each other everything.”

Ari nodded as you followed him to the couch. A place where you two had just had your bodies pressed together found you sitting on opposite ends, your legs criss-crossed in front of you and Ari’s long legs out to the side. You weren’t touching at all as you pulled a pillow up against your chest for comfort and took a deep breath, preparing to start.

You told Ari everything. All about the relationship. The expectations, the lies, the late night phone calls, the broken promises, the new girl after the breakup. He nodded along, keeping a mostly level face, although he maintained a mild layer of disgust. How could someone so awful keep you for so long? You were too good for Oscar. Heck, Ari thought to himself, you were too good for him, too. But he would spend the rest of his life becoming better for you if he had to.

As Ari was taking it all in, you continued on. “Mostly during the relationship, but even for a few months after, he would still call me late at night. It’s been over a year since the last time. I honestly thought he would’ve forgotten all about me by now. I don’t have his contact saved anymore. Something must’ve happened, though. But it’s not my problem. He was always whiskey drunk and saying he missed me, just like this time, but I knew that wasn’t the case.”

You looked up at Ari. He seemed like he was beginning to understand. “When we were dating, I fell for it. I fell for all the sweet, yearning things he would say, and I’d come over. We’d dance down the hallway and fall into his bed. We’d lay there and talk, well, it was almost always him doing the talking and lying until the sun came up. I really lost my voice over that whole thing.”

Ari felt such deep sadness for you. His favorite thing was when you would talk passionately about something random or speak your mind against the popular opinion. To hear that someone took that away, someone didn’t appreciate you and your amazing qualities, made him want to scream. His jaw clenched and he kept his silence, grateful for the full insight on your life. If Ari ever met Oscar, well, who knows what would happen to that punk?

Your voice began to break as you sniffled. “I know he wasn’t trying to hurt me, or break my heart, but I felt used. Like I was a late night lonely drug. I know he thought he loved me, and he would say that I was all he wanted, but I think he just wanted someone. At one point, I wished that I was that one he wanted, but I think a part of me always knew I wasn’t.”

Ari had crept closer again over the duration of your story. He pulled you in tight to his chest and rubbed your back as you wept, tears staining his old t-shirt. He had no idea how someone so awful could bring down someone so amazing, so angelic. You were everything. The sun rose and and set on you for Ari.

He pulled away and set his eyes deeply on yours, his hands holding your fingers. “I’m so sorry, Angel. I’m sorry you had to go through that. You deserve the world. Anyone who can’t see that was never worthy to even be in your presence.” He kissed your forehead and your eyes gently closed at the gesture as a soft smile graced your face again at his true, genuine sweetness.

“You are the world. You’re my world, and I’m going to spend as long as I have to so you can see how much you mean to me. Every day, I’m going to do everything I can to give you the love you deserve. To show you just how much I really, truly, honestly love you.”

You sat there, mouth agape in shock. There it was. That was the first time either of you had dared to say the L-word to each other. It wasn’t haphazardly thrown out there as a last-ditch effort to stay. It wasn’t overused and thin. It was heavy, it was intentional, and it was true. It carried such a weight to it, but your were sure Ari wouldn’t have dropped it had he not meant the word with his whole soul.

You felt it too, though. That was the part that astounded you. There was no other person who you believed could ever hold a place so fitting for the word love. There was only Ari.

“I love you, too.” You spoke firmly, gazing into his bright blue eyes, lit up extra from his beaming smile. His hand moved up to your cheek and he leaned in for a kiss. His soft lips met yours as your tongues danced together. There was no greed, no rush. Just love.

When you pulled away, you rested your foreheads against each other. You sighed and giggled. “While I’m out here being honest. I feel like there’s something else I should tell you.”

Ari’s head tilted to the side, confused on what other bombshell you could be hiding. The truth was, you had never been completely forthright with your thoughts.

“Did I do something to make you feel like you couldn’t be honest with me before?” You could hear the wavering in his tone. After such a vulnerable moment, what else could be coming?

“No, no, that’s not at all what’s going on. It’s just…ugh….” You were beginning to grow frustrated with yourself. There was so much you kept locked inside as a result of how Oscar hurt you. You were elated it was coming out for Ari to see. He deserved to know every side of you, but words were hard to formulate in the right way.

“I’m sorry. I want to communicate more openly with you. But it’s scary. I thought when you found out about everything with Oscar, you’d judge me for it. You’d look at me differently.” He shook his head, about to speak up before you cut him off.

“I want to be able to explain it all fully. I should’ve told you all this sooner. I knew once I gave you everything, it would lock me in. It would have solidified everything in a way we can’t come back from. You knowing all the details of my life. I didn’t want it to blow up, because I knew if it did, I would never recover. If I’m being honest, I was so scared to give it all over to you because I’ll never get it back.”

Ari’s blew out a puff of air, processing your words. He simply nodded, allowing you to finish. He completely understood where you were coming from. To trust someone so deeply again after pain like that was the scariest thing he could think of, and he was going through it, too. He was just glad you did trust him. Because he’d give you everything you deserved and more in a heartbeat. The two of you weren’t locked in to anything bad at all, you were just securing yourselves in something you already knew.

After all the heaviness, you made an attempt to lighten the mood. “And, I think you should know, I’m completely capable of assembling a dresser by myself. There are just some times I ask you for help because I want to spend time with you. Not because I need it.”

You winked and Ari heartily laughed in response. “Is that also why you asked me if I needed help cooking dinner last week?”

It was your turn to laugh, throwing you head back before pulling it forward and shaking it back and forth. “No. Sometimes I offer help because I can’t stand to watch as you do something wrong.”

Ari playfully rolled his eyes and pulled you in close for one of his signature bear hugs. He spoke into your hair. “Well, I’m just happy you keep me around. And I’m always happy to do whatever, right by your side, like a true partner. I love you.”

You both inhaled each other’s scents deeply. “I love you, too.”

When you pulled away, Ari opened up and told you everything about his past, too.

Next >

Bonus A/N: reverence is rare and lies are plentiful

Series Taglist:

@patzammit

@hawkeyes-queen

@identity2212

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weird-an · 1 year

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tw: abuse

Billy can feel his anger before he's even home.

Neil is banging the door when he comes in, so Billy decides not to skip dinner and sneak out later. It's too dangerous. Neil's silent rage is filling the house, hot and threatening to erupt any second.

When Billy was younger, he used to hide under his bed sometimes to avoid getting in the way of it. But he would always finds him, big hands grabbing his arm and pulling him out. There is no way out.

Of course, Neil doesn't even wait until they have finished chewing on the overdone chicken Susan made in awkward silence.

"Stop chewing so loud," Neil barks.

That's enough. Billy chewing on the fucking dinner like everybody else. It's just his existence that's enough to set Neil off. He doesn't even bother to answer. Every word is wrong anyways.

Sneaking out with bruises is always tricky. Billy manages anyway. Routine makes it easier.

"You're late." Steve crosses his arms, lips thin. "Two hours."

Billy thought he'd run away from the anger. And now it's staring back at him, only wearing Steve's face. His scalp is still burning, his back aching.

"I'm.. I'm sorry."

"Sorry," Steve echoes mockingly. "Why were you late?"

Every word is wrong - again. Billy wants to hide under the bed. Neil is angry, Steve is angry. Anger only takes on form - hot and bloody.

Steve lifts his arm. Billy knocks against the wall, wincing when it touches his skin.

"Billy?" The anger falls from Steve's face, worry taking over. "I'm... not gonna hit you."

Billy knows he should say something, but he can't. His heart is racing in his chest.

"I won't hurt you," Steve repeats. "I'm sorry."

Neil never apologized. Billy has never seen anger just disappear. But it's gone. Every trace of it.

He still can't find the right words. But he can do something. He moves closer and gives Steve a peck on the cheek.

#hello it's the monday angst train #tw child abuse #billy hargrove #harringrove #harringrove ficlet #steve x billy

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m0shpitpup · 3 months

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he could never escape his fate.

#wwe #wwe raw #the judgement day #monday night raw #dominik mysterio #eddie guerrero #custody of dom #angst #poor dom #daddy issues #but in a sad way #wwe angst

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inky-goddess · 2 months

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HEY SPOTIFY WHAT THE FUCK

#crow.txt #WHAT DO YOU MEAN FEARFUL HOME #'fearful and angst on monday mornings' is a mood tho

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entomolog-t · 9 months

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I love stupid superhero G/t scenarios so much cause it just adds so much variety to the typical dynamic.

Like character A has the power to control their weight/density and is just an absolute tank and very much likes it.

Character B is a sizeshifter and is also an absolute tank. They also really like being "the tank."

They can't stand one another. Absolute rivals despite having the same friend group. They're always trying to assert some kind of dominance over the other. Like A will make themselves incredibly dense so B can't pick them up (which to any bystanders is downright hilarious). B, who in reality is short than A, will continously grow just a bit taller than them in everyday setting, or downright loom over them at their larger size if given the opportunity.

Like the comedy potential for the tiny to just be able to pin down the giant ?? Amazing.

Or imagine A is more freaked out by the size than they've been letting on; Some sort of danger happens and A is left unable to walk and they need to get away fast. Maybe an explosion is imminent, maybe a building is about to collapse, either way they need to move fast. B goes to pick them up but they make themselves heavier, refusing to move.

"Nows not the time A- we need to move -" B freezes. A was crying. They've never seen A cry. Just how hurt were they?

B feels guilt well up. Did A not trust them that much? Sure they fought, but they had to know they would never actually hurt them...

"A, please, we have to leave. I'll be careful, I promise. I've done this with civilians hundr-"

"-Please..." A's normally confident voice is nothing short of a whimper. Their eyes squeezed tight, refusing to look at B. "I'll make myself light, just... please don't pick me up like that."

What??

What was that supposed to mean? What difference did it make?? With no time to argue B shrinks down and picks them up. They've never felt A lighten themselves and it's a jarring feeling picking someone up at their normal size with them weighing next to nothing. There was time to dwell on how bizzare this was becoming.

B ran, awkwardly caring the oversized yet underweight body of A as they raced to clear the area. So what if they added a few extra inches to themselves between strides? They needed to get out of here fast and time was running out.

They wouldn't make it. Not at this height.

There was no time to argue.

"A," Their voice is gentle but firm, leaving no room for debate, "Close your eyes."

They've delt with this before. Children afraid of them, victims of Kaiju attacks. Size could be scary to some... they just never imagined A would be amoung them.

They feel A press their face against their shirt, hands balled into fists. They cover A with their hand, shielding them from the sight of the world lurching as they grow.

ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST

#I have the most gutwrenching reason for why A would be scared but i didnt want to traumatize my follows on a monday afternoon #also if anyone has any G/t superhero fics they recommend?? please?? send my way??#i love me some angst #g/t #giant/tiny #g/t community #g/t prompts #g/t shitpost

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cannedapricot · 1 year

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the bouquet. || njm

in which you love watching your coffee shop regulars and irregulars go about their day. you loved hearing stories about their lives and their loved ones. yet, you'd be lying if you said it didn't make you feel lonely. alternatively, you were in love with the concept of love, na jaemin was in love with you.

word count: 2.8k

genre, warnings: fluff, angst near the end, comfort i think, slice of life, coffee shop!au, flower shop!au, pining, worries about never being able to experience romance covered up with bright smiles and warm coffee, profanities

bgm: people watching by conan gray, cloud 9 by beach bunny, perfect day by mao buyi, sweet dream by nct u

a/n: this only happened because i wanted to write fluff HAHA so by default it isn't proof read also i am not a florist so idk if these flowers look good in a bouquet LMAO

PHILIA (n) - affectionate love - yellow chrysanthemums

A warm beam of sunlight streams in through the glass window, toasting the wooden the tables and chairs in its wake. You stretch behind the counter - warm sunny afternoons always gave you the urge to nap.

Opposite you, on the other side of the store, stood your coworker amongst the displays of flowers. Na Jaemin was attractive, and more often than not, you'd hear people compare him to the flowers he worked with in attempt to woo him. They never worked though, Jaemin would always respond with a polite smile and a "thank you". You'd try your best to hold in your giggle as they leave the store with a sour expression. But then you'd meet eyes with Jaemin, he'd mouth a playful "oops", and you'd have to duck down to hide your laugh behind the counter.

It was a slow day. You barely had anyone to serve so you spent your time arranging and rearranging shelves in the back, cleaning equipment, and munching on the seasonal lavender flavored cake your store offered. Jaemin, on the other hand, seemed to be catching up on bouquet orders. Each bouquet was prepared with the same amount of care and focus as the next. Each flower was chosen with a purpose to serve. Jaemin wasn't only known as a pretty face. He was also known for his beautiful bouquets.

Seemingly haven to caught you staring, without looking up from his work, your coworker jokingly says,

"Go back to work."

"But there is no work. No one wants a coffee from me."

"I do. See, you have work."

You turn around to start his coffee - iced americano, three shots of espresso. He usually whines for more espresso but in attempt to keep his body functioning, you only allow a maximum of three shots.

The overhead bell tinkles and a woman walks in. You give them a smile over your shoulder to welcome them in. She returns the smile, but walks up to Jaemin's counter instead.

"Hi! I had an order for pick up today?"

"Oh yes, chrysanthemums right?"

The woman nods as Jaemin goes to fetch her prepared bouquet. You finish the coffee and bring it over to your coworker's counter, making conversation with the customer as you do so.

"Are the flowers for anyone?"

"They are! One of my friends is graduating today and I wanted to congratulate her as well as thank her for being such a lovely friend."

You can't help but grin at the story. The way the woman brightened up mentioning her friend. The way she spoke so highly of them. They must be someone extremely precious to her.

"A great choice of flowers." Jaemin comments, returning with a bright yellow bouquet.

"Thank you. I spent hours looking up the meanings of flowers. My friend's really into the language of flowers."

The both of you thank her for her patronage and watch as she heads off, the brightly colored flowers tucked safely in her arms.

"Happiness, joy, celebration."

"Hm?"

Jaemin takes a sip of his coffee before answering.

"You wanted to know the meaning right? I could tell."

Sometimes Jaemin's ability to read your mind scares you. How does he just know?

"Also, this coffee doesn't have the amount of espresso I requested."

"I'm saving your life." You retort, heading back to your post.

You spare a glance at the door the woman walked out of. How special it must be to have someone care for you that much. A friend who would scour the internet for the perfect flower for you. A friend who had the most precious expression talking about you.

You loved knowing the stories behind your customers. Yet, for some reason, they always made you feel more alone.

PRAGMA (n) - enduring love - baby's breath

Entering the shop today, you were greeted with the sight of Jaemin surrounded by a copious amount of baby's breath flowers. It was certainly a sight to behold.

"A regular of ours is getting married soon - they've asked me to prepare the flowers for their wedding." He had said, bunching the small flowers together with a white ribbon. You hum, leaning on his counter as he continued to work. Jaemin's breath hitches at the proximity between the two of you - yet it goes unnoticed as you rack your brain to remember the regular.

"I remember! Is it the tall man who always shows up in a suit?"

"The one that always manages to squeeze his partner in every sentence? Yeah."

Jaemin's gaze falls upon you as you rest your head on your palms, a huge smile adorning your face.

"Adorable."

"The couple? Yeah. I can't believe they're getting married!"

His comment wasn't about the couple.

Jaemin returns his focus back on the flowers, aiming for the bunches to be as consistent as possible.

"They've been together for quite long, haven't they?" You mention, watching his slim fingers weave the perfect bow around the fragile flowers.

"Mhm, ten years I think. He said they were high school sweethearts."

A yearnful sigh escapes your lips.

"How cute. I wish I had something like that."

Jaemin gently pokes your forehead, a soft smile on his own lips.

"You're idolizing the idea of love again."

"I can't help it! Isn't the idea of falling for one another just so romantic? The butterflies, the flushed faces, the shy touches!" You squeal at the thought. Romance was your favorite genre, even if you've never experienced it personally, it was always a gem to witness.

"Instead of standing there and squealing like a high schooler - you should come around and help me with these flowers."

"But I'm not the florist - you don't see me asking you to make coffee."

"I am terrified that you will start kicking your legs like a high schooler with a crush next alright? And it's not hard, I'll teach you."

So you make your less than graceful jump across the counter, asking Jaemin to catch you (he didn't) and the two of you spent the day side by side bunching up baby's breaths.

"What do baby's breaths mean?"

Jaemin's shoulder meets yours and his fingers brush against your own as he fixes your ribbon. The sun was warm, or was that your skin flushing?

"Everlasting love."

STORGE (n) - familiar love - white lilac

"What do you recommend for my daughter who's just given birth?"

Your ears perk up from the storage room and you immediately drop the bag of coffee beans you were holding to eavesdrop on the conversation.

"Congratulations! I'm sure you must be ecstatic!"

"I am! A healthy young granddaughter! I love her already. The entire family is celebrating."

A wave of joy crashes on you. You weren't just a sucker for romantic love, but all types of love. Humans were surrounded by love all the time, consciously or unconsciously, it was always present. And to you, there wasn't anything that made you happier than seeing others feel the joy of loving and being loved.

You sneak a peak out into the open area, just in time to see the lady leave the store, white lilacs in her bag and a skip in her step.

"Eavesdropping is rude you know?"

"Boo, I'm just trying to get in on some good news."

Jaemin laughs as you jokingly pout at him, his structure stands out against the light streaming in from the big windows. You've always thought his smile was dazzling. It really was no mystery as to why he was so popular.

"Hey, could you help with the coffee beans? You've got nothing to do now anyway."

"Ask cutely."

"I'm reporting you to the boss. That has got to be a breach of some HR protocol."

"I'm just joking." The boy says making his way towards you. Unexpectedly, he stops to tuck a small piece of white lilac behind your ear, face only inches away from yours.

"Purity, innocence. I think it suits you."

He then continues his journey to the storage room casually, as if the two of you weren't just a hair's distance away from each other.

"Na Jaemin what the fuck?"

EROS (n) - romantic love - red roses

A knowing glance was shared between you and your coworker as a couple walks in, arms linked with each other.

"I love you honeybunches."

"I love you more sweetie pie."

The couple shares a kiss, the audible smooching loud enough to be echoing through the store. You had to pretend to clear your throat to grab their attention.

"How may I help you two?"

After placing their order, the couple giggles and slinks to a table in the corner. You notice that they sit next to each other instead of opposite.

"Is that the type of love you want?" Jaemin whispers as you froth the milk for a sweet potato latte.

"Oh come on, they're not that bad. I bet they're just in the honeymoon phase is all."

"Mhm, and they're definitely not making out in the corner right now."

With a roll of your eyes, you wipe down the metal wand. Without the noise of the machine, the wet sounds of mouth on mouth action could clearly be heard.

"They're cute!"

"Why? Do you want to make out in public as well? Come here, I can make that happen."

You were sure Jaemin was joking. The tone of his voice told you so. But when you looked into his eyes, they looked hopeful. Perhaps you were deluding yourself. All these thoughts about love were really altering the way you saw things.

"No. Go serve them their coffee."

"What? I thought you never made me do barista things?"

"It's only fair after you got me to do florist things."

Jaemin smiles at the playful quarrel, though you notice there was a hint of disappointment there. Why?

"This cake is new."

"Huh? Oh, yeah, it's the new red rose cake. The owner said they used rosewater when baking it."

"Passion, desire, romance. No wonder the couple picked it. Wish me luck."

You give your coworker a salute as he heads over with the drinks and dessert before busying yourself with cleaning. You don't notice the couple giving Jaemin advice and support regarding his stupidly obvious crush on you because stupidly, you believed that romantic love would never come to you.

LUDUS (n) - playful love - white roses

It was a cloudless day, the skies were a lovely shade of blue, and the birds were chirping a happy tune. It was the perfect day for a first date. Which is why you found yourself craning your neck to look at the couple sitting outside.

They were evidently on their first date. The nervous fiddling, the shy giggles, the playful laughter. You weren't even part of their date, but just watching them interact made your insides bubble with excitement.

"Jaemin! Jaemin look! They're comparing hand sizes!"

"I know, I can see what you see."

You were pretending to wipe down a table on the other side of the glass, trying your best to seem uninterested in their conversation. But the reality was, you were dying to hear everything they had to say.

The florist, on the other hand, was watering his flowers. Less interested than you were, but was still listening. Most of his attention wasn't on the couple outside, it was on you.

You were fretting over every small detail, eyes wide and sparkling whenever someone made a move. You were clasping you hands together when they exchanged coy looks, excitedly muttering Jaemin's name in order to have him look.

You were in your element, and you were glowing.

When did he fall for you? Jaemin doesn't even know. You were always so into the small details, remembering the tiniest change in people. So adorable when you unknowingly purse your lips when attempting latte art. Perhaps you had him wrapped around your finger since the day you stepped in the store, asking if they were hiring. Or perhaps he fell slowly, day after day of working together and being in your presence.

Jaemin doesn't know when, but he knows that his attempts at flirting had gone unnoticed. But Jaemin doesn't know how to give up. So he's made the decision to keep trying, again and again. He'll keep trying until the day you stop loving the concept of love, and start loving him.

"Here, a white rose each for the two of you - free of charge."

The couple seemed pleased. Your jaw hanging wide open when Jaemin returned.

"Flies are going to get in your mouth."

"Jaemin... That was so smooth. That made their date even more memorable."

He hopes that one day, your rose colored glasses would be directed at him.

PHILAUTIA (n) - self love - narcissus

The clouds were crying today, dying the sky a deep shade of gray. You sigh. It was as if the weather was mirroring your thoughts. You hated it.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

Jaemin's warm hands gently hold your face, slowly turning you to face him. Hesitantly, you meet his eyes. They were worried, he was worried. You know. You could tell.

"Okay fine. I'll tell you. But no laughing alright?"

He nods.

"Its just... One of my friends got into a relationship and I'm jealous."

Silence.

"Wait, no, not because I was in love with my friend. But because I've never been in a relationship. As in, I want to know how it feels like?"

Jaemin lets out a silent sigh of relief.

"But I feel like I could never be loved like that. I've never had someone look at me as if I was the only person that ever mattered. And as much as I love the idea of that, I don't know if I'm worthy of it the way I am now."

Your voice slowly turns into a whisper, your insecurities escape and spread out in the small store. The atmosphere was heavy, around the same weight as your heart. Tears threatened to escape your eyes, the embarrassment of crying in front of your handsome coworker was the only thing holding them back.

Suddenly, Jaemin's hands, a little rough from tending to flowers, push against your cheeks.

"Y/N. You are worth loving. You are worthy of everything the world has to offer. Fuck, you're worth more than the world has to offer."

"Huh?" Was all you could make out as Jaemin's palms still had a firm grip on your cheeks.

"Listen, you are the brightest person I've ever laid my eyes upon. If you claimed you were the sun, nobody would argue differently. I don't even know how my world was before you. Stop thinking so negatively, alright?"

Ah shit. The tears were free falling now.

"Thank you, Jaemin."

The sun peeked through the clouds. A rainbow formed in the sky. A single daffodil sat in a vase on the windowsill.

AGAPE (n) - selfless love - red carnation

Jaemin stands alone behind his counter, head in his hands. He had basically confessed to you the other day. He basically said you were his sun damn it. But you still hadn't caught on.

It was your day off today. Jaemin received a lovely selfie of you earlier of you and a friend at an amusement park. A telling smile that formed on his face told everyone in the room all they needed to know.

"Just tell her straight up." Taeyong, the owner, suggests. "At this point I don't think they'd understand if you don't."

"I don't want them to be pressured into a relationship if they're not ready or not into me though." Jaemin replies, groaning. "What if we become awkward? I don't want that. Please, anything but that. All I want is for them to realize that I've been nursing a massive crush on them"

"Make them a bouquet," Johnny, one of the cafe's investors, mentions. "You're good at those right?"

"I've tried. But they don't turn out the way I want them to."

"Try harder."

The older men snicker as the younger shoots them a glare. Jaemin lies his head down on the cool surface of the counter, his eyes catch onto the brilliant red carnations blooming on the side.

"Red carnation. "My heart aches for you"."

The next day you clock in, you find red carnations decorating your work station. They were on the espresso machine, sitting on the cookie jar, and even inside mugs.

"Jaemin? What happened while I was gone?"

The boy smiles brightly from his station opposite yours. A view you've gotten used to.

"Welcome back?"

"I was gone for one day."

"Hey, I missed you for a whole day."

A tingle makes its way up your ears. You admit, you've been thinking a lot about Jaemin's words since the day you cried in front of him. How tender and passionate those words were, how they sounded almost like a confession.

A cake box catches your attention. Wrapped in a white ribbon with your name on it.

Undoing the bow and opening the cardboard reveals flowers. Delicately placed and arranged. You carefully look over the flowers. Yellow chrysanthemums, baby's breath, white lilac, red roses, white roses, daffodils, red carnation.

"Jaemin... is this from you?"

He grins.

"You know the meaning right?"

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guiltymepleasures · 26 days

Text

Ep 7 pre-release is out and all I can say is...

I need the original timeline's full accident scene and the subsequent hospital scene to tear me apart and stomp on whatever's left because I'm a masochist like that.

I also need to have Sol and Sun Jae happily married at the end with more adorably sweet adult love that will bring me back to life because I deserve it.

#this drama has no chill #romcom is top tier but angst is god tier #because monday is so far away #kim hye yoon #im sol #lovely runner #sun jae #ryu sun jae #byeon woo seok

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m1d-45 · 1 year

Text

the wind knows

summary: a series of haikus to ‘imposter’ reader, wherein kazuha knows the truth

word count: ~600

-> warnings: spoilers for inazuma archon quest / kazuha lore? implied violence? imposter au things- it’s implied reader dies, so……

taglist: @samarill || @thenyxsky || @valeriele3 || @shizunxie || @boba-is-a-soup || @yum1x

< masterlist >

many letters were scrapped, left to sit in the trash. when pen finally meets proper page, the sun has long since set. still, the motions are careful and sure, as if it hadn’t taken hours of preparation to bear fruit.

the world has waited

for the brightest star to fall

i have waited too

the faint scent of the sea stains the poem, the wax seal dusted with salt. contained within the envelope is the product of boredom at the docks, impatience vented onto paper.

an ocean between

the trip is bound by man’s speed

you are worth the wait

the high point of the crow’s nest allows for far sight, land appearing on the horizon a precious few moments before anybody below notices. words seem to appear in the mind, bandages staining with ink in the hasty retrieval of paper. once down, it would be transferred to something neater, but that is not the priority.

the geo-filled spires

meet together with crashing water

i hope we meet soon.

words are heard, names are called. even after a day of searching, of following the wind that has never led astray, nothing is found. nobody is found. the captain of the fleet makes a comment that goes unheard, thoughts caught up in new lines. a hand traces them out, even if there’s only air below; it’s never meant to be sent, after all.

liyue is empty

of nothing but what’s needed

where could you have gone?

the next day is just as fruitless, nobody at the docks reporting anything new. the wind brings him a small cluster of torn up pages, the familiar writing of lady ningguang scrawled across them. he can’t catch full phrases, the paper scraps too small, but the very fact that the shredded snow had fallen scares him in a way it shouldn’t. the wind warns, but of what?

rumors cross the streets

the air is taught with tension

please let it rest soon

the harbor bustles with more life than normal. people shout and cry, everybody slowly moving away from the docks and deeper into the city. sailors are confused, having only barely returned, but a flyer hastily shoved into their hands by a vendor makes everything clear. the sharp, commanding voice of the captain reads it out, the letter of execution snatched from her hands as red eyes hope and pray it’s fake.

i hope it’s not you

even as i know it is

how could this happen?

white hair shoves through a crowd, his mind blurred with both the aura of the divine and panic from the jeering people around. bodies press in around him but he forces his way though, managing to catch glimpses of the stage. the tianquan, lazily flipping the pages of her catalyst. the funeral director, star-filled eyes now blank and empty with hatred. and him, him, the one who bears an impossible amount of geo, him who stains the air with ancient names and archaic rituals, him with a spear that shines like pure gold in the sun.

kazuha finally bursts through the crowd, the eyes of the millelith snapping to him as he stumbles on the bricks below. it doesn’t matter. he’s too late.

for the second time, somebody he loved dies at the hands of an unfeeling god.

heretical sin

the world itself cries in pain

how could you leave me?

#genshin impact sagau #sagau #genshin sagau #sagau impostor au #genshin imposter au #sagau kazuha #kazuha x you #sagau x reader #genshin x reader #genshin x you #kazuha #kazuha x reader #angst #sagau angst #kazuha angst #man this was so much fun to write. wholeheartedly enjoyed myself during this one lads #mmm being cryptic on a friday night (it’s monday)#gonna be so embarrassed if i find out i miscounted syllables on one of these. it’s supposed to be 5-7-5 and i’m only 83% confident i did it

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