#missed this bozo dumbass
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Mettaton we threw a steel chair at a child.
??? Why???
Was it for ratings?
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im gonna drink and play video games until i die of alcohol poisoning
#like holy fucking shit how can a 5 hour shift be so fucking unbearable#fucking lady comes in wanting to get some shitty plan i dont get paid for and after me telling her its only online she sits at the store#texting customer service and making me solve all the problems they cause#and then another ladys account is so fucked i cant even sell her a damn phone bc the dumbass system breaks#and then FINALLY it refreshes 9 minutes to close but bc she was so cool i still helped her out (she put a $5 bill on my car lol)#and these morons who've been sitting there for a fucking hour expect me to do another 4 hour transaction#NINE MINUTES TO FUCKING CLOSE. HOW DUMB ARE YOU#BITCHING AT ME LIKE ITS MY FAULT YOUR DUMB ASS CAME INTO A T MOBILE AT 7 PM#meanwhile im telling the other customers in the store that ive only had a reeses and a redbull to eat the entire day#and then my dumbass coworker comes back as im trying to figure out who completely fucked up the stores change#FORGETS HE PUT MONEY IN A LOCKED BOX HE COULDNT FIND THE KEY TO#LIKE. 1 NO ONE TOLD YOU TO DO THAT 2 WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU#finds the key magically after sitting there for 15 minutes AND THEN FUCKING LEAVES#FOR ME TO DO EVERYTHING BY MYSELF. LIKE WHY THE FUCK DID YOU EVEN COME BACK#and now i have to go in again in the morning.#bc i want extra money before my next job.#i dont know how these bozos havent gotten fired yet men are literally deranged#like theres $150 missing from our change fund and no ones getting fired over it? the patriarchy amazes me
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So twitter's probably gonna fucking die soon lmao
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hiii!!!
i was wondering if you can do some miles earth 1610 and earth 42 miles head canons if they were your older brother??
btw I love ur work <333
in which miles is your older brother and your favorite hobby is annoying the shit out of him
the brief mention of Jeff can be present or past, meaning this can be interpreted as 1610 or 42. don’t think it needs to be mentioned but y’all are siblings in this au so it’s obviously platonic lmfao
“Miles!” you sang delightfully on your way to his room, nearly skipping with the excitement of aggravating your older sibling. “Dear, sweet ‘ole brother of mine~”
“Nope, leave me alone.”
His voice, sounding just a tad deeper than it did last week, echoed from down the hall as you approached.
Miles was already up from his bed and on the way to close his door, but you somehow beat him there and leaned your shoulder against the frame. A proposition was eminent in your demeanor, and it made his top lip turn up in distaste.
“Hey Milesy. What’s up?”
He crossed his arms. “You stopped calling me that when you were six.”
Perhaps you were laying it on a little thick, but you’d already gotten this far, so you played on.
“And? Maybe… I’m feeling… nostalgic.” you shrugged.
“Spell nostalgic.” He challenged smugly.
“Anyways!” You abruptly changed the subject with a cheeky grin, the dissimilarity in your expressions comical. “Wanna do me a teeny-tiny favor?”
He couldn’t have shot you down faster.
“Absolutely not. I’d rather use the bathroom after Dad.”
You cringed at the thought. Was he that unwilling?
“Why not?”
“Are you crazy?” Miles gawked. “I got my door taken off the hinges the last time you asked for a ‘teeny-tiny favor’,” he quoted the words with his fingers. “Get somebody else to do it—“
“Wait!” You foiled his sudden attempt to shut his door by using your right foot to stop it— the foot in question, currently clad in a fuzzy, christmas themed sock.
It was the middle of April. But that wasn’t important.
Miles’ hazel eyes agitatedly narrowed at you between the small gap you’d managed to keep open. You both knew he could easily close his door if he really tried, but he didn’t want to hurt you. Though he was considering it.
“Pleaaaseee?” Hands clasped to accompany your begging, you whined at him in a tone that made him grimace.
“Y/n, what did I just say?” He grumbled. “No escuchas. (you don’t listen). It’s like you were born without ears or something.”
“You don’t even know what I’m going to ask you for!”
He shook his head, “I don’t need to!Knowing you, it’s something stupid.”
Making his way to the kitchen, Miles immediately recognized the scent on the hoodie you were wearing when he brushed past your shoulder.
It was the one you’d bought him last year as a birthday gift. He hadn’t noticed it was missing until now, and after it being in your possession for God knows how long, the remnants of his cologne were now drowned out by some tooty-fruity ass body spritz that had his head hurting.
“And stop wearing my clothes, dude. You always give ‘em back smelling like Victoria Body Works and argon oil. That’s if you even give them back.”
Yeah, ‘Victoria Body Works’ was definitely not a thing.
Hot on his heels like a cold that medicine just couldn’t kick, your brows pinched together while you accompanied him through the empty apartment on what you assumed was a search for food.
“It’s Victoria’s secret, dumbass. This how I know you ain’t got hoes.”
“Who?” Miles quirked a brow as he sifted through the snack cupboard for a box of something to demolish in an hour.
“You-“
“—Asked. Bozo.”
“Wow,” you scoffed, a deadpan look on your face when you went to rest your elbows on the granite counter top. “You’re actually ancient.”
Miles was only two years your senior, but he acted like an old head, and that was probably the fault of your Uncle Aaron. He’d spent more time with that man than he did in his own room, which was shocking to say the least.
Miles’ eyes lit up when he discovered a hidden gem tucked into a back corner. “Yo, you gonna eat these honeybuns?”
“You gonna do me a favor?” you shot back, head tilted with the confidence of your incredible advantage over him.
Miles kissed his teeth. He had an immense sweet tooth, and you of all people knew he could never deny sugar.
“Dude, this same box has been sitting in here since last month. Which I know personally, because mom sent me out to get them. Meaning your tubby-ass forgot about these at least two weeks ago!”
Your jaw dropped in shock. “I am not tubby!”
“Tubby is a mindset. Now can I have ‘em or nah?”
You paused to think. “Depends.”
“On?” he encouraged impatiently as you toyed with the hemming of your sleeve.
“When asked where I’m at, around…Let’s say,” you chewed on your thoughts. “Six pm tomorrow— and I know you’ll be asked— say I’m at Isabella’s.”
Miles gave you a skeptical look. “And where are you really gonna be?”
He doubted he wanted to know the specifics on why he needed to lie for you, but he thought to ask anyway. You were his little sister after all, at least one person needed to know where you were.
“Nunya.” you mumbled.
“It’s a boy, isn’t it?” Miles squinted, fingers pinching either side of the honey bun’s plastic in preparation to open it.
Rolling your lips under your teeth, you awkwardly shifted your position so your back was leaned on the counter instead, and spoke cautiously as you ogled the lifting of a few floorboards.
“Maybe… But we’re just gonna-“
“Alright, alright. I got you. I’on need details.” Miles scooped the entire box of his well-earned treats into the cradle of his arm, then reached the other over your head to close all the cupboards he’d previously opened.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
You stole the opportunity to trap Miles in a quick hug, tightly squeezing your arms around his torso on purpose because you knew how much it annoyed him. He never did grow out of being ticklish.
“Yeah, yeah. Move,” voice muffled as he was mid-bite, Miles separated you from him with two, rudely-stiff fingers to the middle of your forehead, then started back to the room he rarely left, somehow grabbing the entire jug of apple juice off the counter on his way.
He called out to you without turning back around.
“But if you not back by 9, I swear I’m snitching. I need my door, trust.”
Your face screwed into one of disgust at the implication. “Ewww bro, you’re gross!”
#junie’s works ᥫ᭡#across the spiderverse headcanons#miles morales fanfiction#atsvplatonic#miles morales x sister!reader#miles morales headcanons#earth 42 miles morales x reader#miles morales x reader#across the spiderverse fanfiction#miles morales drabble#earth 1610 miles x reader#earth 42 miles x reader
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Okay Ellie I have an idea so please hear me out I promise it’s good
okay so yesterday I went to a corn maze with my friends and got lost for like two hours not finding any of them (I’m a dumbass so it’s not surprising)
but imagine the same thing happening with angel face and the fruity four
Eddie, robin and Steve would all become animals trying to find you and rules be damned running through the corn instead of staying on the path while Nancy would lecture them so they don’t get banned and they starting calling ‘Marco’ only to hear you say ‘Polo’ from the other side of the maze not knowing how tf you got that far away😭
they would all tackle you as soon as they find you bc they missed you and were worried abt their poor angelface!!
MY DARLING......that's genuinely so terrifying 😭 the fruity four would be going FERAL trying to find you, i can assure you.
no doubt that at one point, Robin climbs up on Steve's shoulders so she can look out over the corn and try to spot you--although that leads to her wobbling and nearly falling off every ten seconds or whenever Steve turns a corner, cause he's trying to cover more ground by running through the maze while she scouts. Eddie straight up barrels through rows of corn completely deaf to Nancy's yelling for him to stay on the path, and then he's suddenly lost and now they have to search him out, too. it isn't until Nancy notices your boot prints in the mud, which are significantly deeper than the others (cause she made sure you wore good rain boots so you wouldn't slip) and follows them with the aid of you calling out "polo!" to all of their collective "marco!"s, that you and her finally reunite. even though it wasn't too long to spend apart, she still runs up when she sees you and hugs you tight, checking you over for any scrapes or bruises and taking off her jacket to give to you so you don't catch a chill. but now you have to go find your other three bozos who are all wandering around now, searching for their poor angel and each other.
#fruity four#fruity four x reader#nancy wheeler#eddie munson#robin buckley#steve harrington#st 4#stranger things#ellie writes#anons#itsrayyyyyyy
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So I played BG 3 with a mod attached where there is no party limit, so I got to run around Faerun with my 6 bozos in tow. Here's a pros and cons list.
Pros:
- never missed a companion mission / lore
- tactical multiclassing meant boosted heals and damage
- life is more fun when you have your friends :)
Cons:
- I would have to do a headcount every so often because Astarion or Wyll would accidently get left behind somewhere
- Most combat encounters early game took 5 mins to get through the first round
- I had a glitch in Moonrise Towers, where I had a random Harper in the initiative. So, every round, we'd cut to this poor dude running across the map to get to us
- It is very easy for a spellcaster (my dumbass) to mistake a close range ally for a bad guy. Karlach and Lae'zel got used to misplaced lightning bolts and stray magic misses pretty quickly
#bg3#bg 3#bg3 spoilers#baldur's gate 3#i need a mod where characters with a low jump (astarion) have to hold hands with a high strength companion to avoid getting lost
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The Untamed review: episode three!!!
Nooo, the tavern has been fully booked, who did this to them 😔
PRETTY WOMEN
MIANMIAN!!!!!!!!
Checking them out, Wei Wuxian??
Of course it's the Jin clan, god, money-hungry bastards
Steal it. You know you want to.
Wei Wuxian, what are you up to???
Don't put the blame on other people!!!
Go on Mianmian, you're such a badass
Hehe, Yuando
Look at him giggle!!
You fucking flirt, it's funny that you're so gay as well
And now you introduce yourself, white /aff
She's such a good wing woman, I like this girl
GO ON MIANMIAN!!!!!
He's not a playboy, he's gay
I love them both so so kuch
JIANG YANLI!!!!!
My poor baby girl
Who the fuck is kicking them out
Kill him. Just- kill him.
Who's this bro criticising everything???
Mianmian, it's not your fault he's rich 😒
As if he needs all those people
Look at her, ain't she so pretty??
What the fuck is Wei Wuxian holding?? A stick
Who does this bozo think he is
Shut your mouth, bozo
Jiang Cheng is being too civil
Let Wei Wuxian at 'em
Nobody needs that many servants
Hehehehehe, he's such a tease.
Bro's like 'don't touch me peasant'
Drawing your sword against WEI WUXIAN?? Dumbass
Bbg, you deserve so much better. You're much prettier than him.
So neat 😔
FUCKING RUDE
The bozo needs to learn how to whisper
Wei Wuxian, you're ruining the tension
I want to flick my sleeves as well
THEIR TICKETS!!!!
They were kicked out by a pompous monster
He's always thinking of alcohol
Who knows why they were arranged to be married
THE SIMULTANEOUS SHRUG
CLOUD RECESSES!!!!!!!
Bros can't even get in
They look very good in white
LAN WANGJI!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He's very good at hearing, no point whispering
What's up with him???
Bro's chilling
Look, it's his boyfriend
The way his eyes stay on Wei Wuxian for a moment
He's very stern, leave him alone
Wei Wuxian looks like he's gonna cry
Ahhhh!! AHHHHHH!!
The silencing spell!!!!!!!!
I like how he hits Jiang Cheng, like it's his fault
LAN WANGJI PAUSED FOR HIM, AHHHHH
He's literally just going to find the invitations, don't worry
It looks chilly lmao
Awww, Wei Wuxian is not one to be easily embarrassed
Jiang Yanli 😭😭😭
Who's that??
LAN WANGJI!!!????!??!
He literally got everything and now he's been ditched
Alcoholic 😔
Wei Wuxian looks so chuffed with it
What is bro doing??? HE JUST BROKE IT
Look at him, so jolly with himself
He's fucking clambering around like a little squirrel
"Oh, hey boyfriend"
Look at him glare, I'm cackling
The fucking side eye
The way he clutches the alcohol so protectively
He's giggling so much
HE'S TRYING TO SHARE THE ALCOHOL WHAT A GUY
Trying to silence you because you're so hot, my guy
Even their fighting is gay for each other
Okay, seriously, what the fuck is Wei Wuxian holding in his hands??
Bro, guy has actual skills and you're shocked??? What a guy
Why can't someone gay fight with me like this?
Literally threw himself off a building just to save his alcohol
"turn around" EYOOOOOO FOR WHAT
DON'T INSULT YOUR BOYFRIEND'S CLAN, WHORE I LOVE YOU
"I can drink OUTSIDE the Lan boundaries, right?"
The way Lan Zhan grumbles like a toddler
The silencing spell, what a guy, I really love Lan Wangji
What's wrong with this fool? That looks nasty.
Hay pretty boy LAN XICHEN XOXOXO
Oh. Lan Qiren too. Hi.
Wangji shouldn't be bringing around any corpses.
CULTIVATORS GOING MISSING?!?????
Lan Qiren what are you doing bestie
He looks angry hahahaha
Grumble grumble grumble "who's making that noise?" THE STAIN UPON YOUR CAREER
Lan Xichen is being so polite and kind compared to Lan Wangji, I have to wonder how many people preferred him to Lan Zhan upon first watching this
"I can't blame the innocent, but I can't defame our rules 😔" so sincere
"how would you like to punish this guy?" Lan Xichen, I love you, but how the fuck would Lan Wangji ever want to punish his boyfriend?
TRANSCRIBE THE PRINCIPLES THREE HUNDRED TIMES???!?! LAN WANGJI, YOU SADIST
The fear in Wei Wuxian's eyes is my favourite part I think, really brings it all together
Anything but that, lmaooo
"bro, get rid of the silencing spell, pleeeaaaseee 🥺"
Bro is literally lying, I love him.
The hesitance as he backs away, cackling
BLAMING IT ON JIN ZIXUAN!!!! THAT'S MY BOY!
At least he's being honest about the Emperor's Smile.
"I didn't even get a sip before he broke oneee 😔😭" He's just fucking complaining and I love him for it
I love that Lan Wangji is just staring into the distance casually without any sort of expression. He's so me
He may have violated the principles, but he's just a little guy.
Of course he can't.
"also, he helped the Jiangs get in-" "brooooo, why would you drop me in like that???" Is what I think Lan Wangji would say if he talked often
The romantic music playing I'm cackling
THE CHEEKY SMILLLEEEEEE
He looks so teasing as he wanders over, who couldn't fall in love with that
Bro's grasping his sword because he has never felt this gay in his life
The puppy dog eyes "I'm sorry, okay? 🥺🥺🥺" Is killing me. I too would become gay for this guy.
Lan Xichen smells the gay tension and cuts through it with a sword
THE POUT HAHAHAHA
WOAH. Dead body. He's literally calling them out.
NIGHTLESS CITY?!??!
WEN QING YOU'RE SO PRETTY!!!!
Booo, not Wen Chao.
Stop. Trying. To. Do. Evil.
Take your brother with you, who knows what they'll do to MY LITTLE MAN.
Yes, yes I am.
Wen Qing nooooo
You've bowed three times now
Show off.
Nah, the wind is fucking insane right now
THE CORPSE IS SITTING UP AAAAAHHH
Wei Wuxian is literally in the wrong place at the wrong time.
He's literally a genius, oh my god.
Lan Wangji wanting to be in sync with him ahhahaha
"he's like a puppet" me too
Brilliant makeup, by the way. Props.
Gazing into the moon like any good gay person would.
Brotherly bonding timeeeee.
Chatting about the corpse in the other room lmao
I wouldn't mind living in Gusu.
HE'S JUST GOTTEN BACK BRO. I love them so so much.
He probably has been too strict on the gay guy. But they're actually such a good team.
HE WANTS HIM TO MAKE FRIENDS!!!
Name dropping Wei Ying, matchmaking for real
Lan Wangji looks pissed but he's just kind of in love, it's fine.
Which corpse are you? Tag yourself.
XUE YANG, YOU VILE LITTLE THING. HOW ARE YOU.
Fuck off Wen one name or another
L there's only a shard of it.
Xue Yang is such a guy, I love him so much. Listen to him giggle.
Just kill him yourself, Xue Yang.
I'm going to fucking eat him, PLATONICALLY.
Watch him strut!
Bro wants to beat the clan, he knows how to barter with someone #icon.
#four being a dumbass#Four's live review#mo dao zu shi#cql#the untamed#the untamed spoilers#wei wuxian#lan wangji#jiang cheng#jiang yanli#lan xichen#lan qiren#mianmian#jin zixuan#wen qing#xue yang#wen ruohan#wen ning mentioned!!#god#so many people this time
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sam ,,? SAM need you to think abt GESGKTSD RAHHHH NEEDAGAFHHA
Anyways need you to think abt bo and his stupid. STUPID polaroid wall but he’s adding your pics there n taking others down to make room for you
oh WORM. oh worm
got me pondering his RINKY dink polaroid wall. god, what a BOZO.
that and his dumbass sex swing are the biggest self-reports. he doxxed his entire peanut brain psyche w/that one. just thinkin like. this is all takin place in his 2005. which means he REALLY rocked out of ambrose and stood in some decrepit ass sex shop to buy those things. examining paddles and flogs like he's in the produce section @ a supermarket picking out the nicest looking fruits. treating himself to a shiny new ball gag w/some poor murdered soul's credit card. this is his spa day. 💀
anyway. yes. thinking thoughts.
deranged dead dove incoherence under the cut. smh 😔
he absolutely WOULD. esp if you were down there for a bit. wanting you to recreate certain pictures and bein all sickly sweet and WEIRD about it. he's all about asking you which one is your favorite. plucking one off the wall and clucking his tongue. bc there's smthn WRONG w/it, darlin'. he likes the concept, but it ain't right. you wanna help him fix it?
grossGROSSgross
fourth wall break: every single man I have known irl that has enjoyed taking pictures is always on some OTHER SHIT. freakasses!!! every single one of em!!! litcherally run for the hills if a man tells u he's a photographer. or asks to TAKE pictures of u dfjshjfdshjfdhsjfd all of them are CRIMINALLY INSANE jhfsdjhfdsjhdfsj
he KEEPS telling you that he's never kept anyone this long. and it's all bc you're special. but he's a liar and he lies all the time, so you really don't know if that's true. you just know that you don't want to end up on that wall. bc everyone up there is dead. but he keeps taking pictures and there you are, tacked up there like the rest of them. but you keep not dying.
he takes his favorites out of the bunch and tucks them in his pocket. tells you that he wants to take a little piece of you with him when he leaves. bc he just misses you so bad. and you want to tell him that he's always taking pieces of you w/him. he doesn't need pictures to do that. but you don't, and he leaves. and instead of looking back @ a wall of women you can mourn, that you can use as fuel to hate him—it's all just you.
maybe you are special. maybe you are the only person who's ever been down here. maybe. it's all getting a little confusing.
SIGH. slop slop slop SLOP. he's so vile reprehensible horrific. bingo bongo sinclongo, my worstie <333
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I'm probably the only one who would be excited to see Eddie sussing Lucy out. I feel like the Fandom will freak thinking they are hooking up but I think it's totally in line with Eddie ans Buck.
Twice in real time I thought the show was gonna throw me into a love triangle with Eddie Buck and a female (Taylor or Marjan). Honest to God early on my greatest fear was them fighting over a girl.
But then it was clear Eddie did not like Taylor. And with Marjan yes he was "flirting" but it was clear Buck was the root of it. He was sort of feeling her out. Plus it's funny that they have Buck getting his feelings hurt when Eddie ditches him and Eddie gives him that shoulder shrug smirk. Clearly screaming at him you brought this on yourself by showing interest.
Compare that to when Eddie gets his feelings hurt Buck choose Taylor for the treasure hunt and Buck folds right away because he can't hurt Eddie's feelings lol.
I just can totally picture some misunderstandings of him trying to figure out if Lucy is single and interested in Buck and everyone else misreading the situation. And listen I am here for petty jealous Eddie so give it to me. They are both single again and I can see Eddie wanting to keep it that way till he figures out all the things you know.
Hi Nonnie!
Thank you for the ask! IDK if you’ve looked at my meta posts where I talked about Eddie and Marjan, but I very much said the same thing you do. That he was basically jealous she was someone Buck was so taken by, and he essentially entered Owen’s tent to try and team up with her, a kind of passive aggressive cockblocking move towards Buck, and a way to suss out the competition. By the end of Eddie’s time with her, they looked at the adaptive skateboard Buck helped him build, a remind of the little Buckley-Diaz family unit they built together, plus Hen going missing, and Buck being his lovable dumbass daredevil self, all of these together reminded Eddie he has nothing to be threatened by, that Buck would always put his family first and no one is more his family than Eddie and Chris, so suddenly there was room for charitably asking Marjan to throw Buck a bone and follow him back.
You know what I wish we got to see? Buck’s reaction as he excitedly told Eddie that Marjan followed him back... and then suddenly being hit with a realization, looking at his best friend, and asking, “Did you make this happen?” And Eddie would just shrug it off and avoid answering the question, which would make it clearer to Buck that yep, he did. Just imagine the Buckly heart eyes that Eddie wouldn’t even notice are turned towards him at that moment! :D
And yeeeeeees. I am here for petty jealous Eddie, too! I would be SO here for him finally realizing WHY he keeps getting jealous over other women stealing Buck’s attention away. Oh man, that would be pure Buddie gold. And also for all of the misunderstandings! But most of all, I just wanna see these bozos stop being so oblivious. Seriously, I don’t even need to see them kissing (though they def should), I just wanna see what they look like with their heads outside of the ground, because they finally stop burying them there to avoid their true feelings for each other. You think they’re handsome now, just think how gorgeous they would look when they give each other the heart eyes FULLY AWARE of what they’re doing... Our TVs would explode!
Sorry for the long ramble, but thank you for sharing your thoughts, lovely! xoxox
(If you're looking for my ask replies, here is my ask tag! xoxox)
#buddie#buddie meta#911 meta#911meta#911#eddie diaz#evan buckley#edmundo diaz#evan buck buckley#anti-bucktaylor#marjan marwani#ask#anon ask#911onabc#911 on abc#911abc#911 abc
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Movie Review | Shooter (Fuqua, 2007)
The fact that the name of Mark Wahlberg’s character is Bob Lee Swagger places this firmly in his “calibrated for maximum heartland appeal” phase, so it’s a bit of a shock that its politics are as blackpilled as they are. I wish this was a bit more bozo-brained in that respect, but Wahlberg’s performance is too sanded down, with none of the exasperation that makes him fun to watch in the hands of better directors. Had this been made a decade earlier, it definitely would have starred Charlie Sheen.
I also think that Antoine Fuqua miscalculates by making this too much of a real movie instead of the paranoid fever dream for dumbasses the screenplay was clearly intended as. But at the same time this is a pretty easy, well paced watch, the kind of thing that would feel at home on TNT with a billion commercial breaks, that you could still have a good time with even if you missed the first twenty minutes. Plus he puts in lots of splattery headshots, and in one pretty fun scene does some knockoff Bayhem when he puts some patriotic music on the soundtrack as Marky Mark takes out a helicopter. Also he thankfully fills the supporting cast with great actors like Danny Glover, Ned Beatty and a slimy but underused Elias Koteas.
Anyway, I vaguely remember being hyped for this at the time after reading a three-star review in the Toronto Star, if you wanna know what was going through the mind of a teenage Torontonian cinephile at the time.
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Another character intro post because THEYRE FUN OKAY? By the way these aren’t rp starters they just introduce the characters.
Tord and Tankman were on their ship, soaring through space, since that was pretty much the only thing they ever did. Tord still had no idea how to get home, but hey, at least he had someone to keep him company now! Even if Tank was a bit.. clingy at times. They chatted happily, sharing stories about their perilous adventures and bloody battles of the past, until Tord suddenly narrowed his eyes and looked a bit worried as he looked over the security camera footage.
“Soldier. We have an intruder! I’ll keep driving.. could you take care of them?”
“Intruder!? Okay, got it boss!”
In an instant, Tankman just.. fell to the floor, unconscious. There was someone standing behind him: the intruder, and a horrible, familiar face. A green guy. His breath smelled like energy drinks and rot, and he looked like some crazy supervillain.
“HEYYY THERE, TOES! Long time no see, eh? I missed ya! Wait, that’s a lie, but I bet ya missed ME!”
Tord was pretty annoyed. The LAST thing he wanted to see was one of his old ‘friends’, especially Edd.
“Edd!? I did miss you! Even if you did.. do some questionable things you’re still my friend! But… why the hell are you here?”
“UUughh, I’ve been looking for you, obviously, dumbass! What the hell are you doing all the way in outer space with robo bozo over here!? You were supposed to come back!”
“I-It’s a long story! But it’s good you’re here now…”
Edd is now available for asks! I hope at least some of you have watched Eddsworld and know who this guy is- that’s also where Tord is from btw. But I have no idea why you’d even want to ask him things because he kinda sucks in this au honestly. Had to give him the opposite treatment so he’s the literal worst now.
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By the Roots
Scout & Soldier, 2k
Part of the DontNeedADiscord Pride Week, Day 2: Family
Of all the people, all the people on the damn planet, it really shouldn’t have been Soldier that figured it.
“You there! I saw that, pipsqueak!” he demanded not two days after the team was first assembled, storming at me across the training yard like I’d already done something wrong. “Regulation warm-up is fifty pushups, not ten and then exclaiming very loudly ‘FIFTY’ as you do that last one! Do not think because you are a woman I will go easy on you. In fact! I will be riding your ass twice as hard so you will be encouraged to measure up to your clearly more dedicated male counterparts!”
There were a lot of things I could object to in that, a lot of things I was planning to object to, but one thing in particular surprised me so much it practically hit me upside the head. “Whoa, hey dude! I ain’t a chick!”
Soldier lifted his helmet with a thumb and peered down at me. “You are not?”
“No a’course I’m not!” I said, flabbergasted. “Would a chick have sick muscles like this? Or like this?” I should off each of my amazing and impressive biceps in turn, a little shocked that he wasn’t falling over in awe due to their sheer awesomeness. “I am peak dude, pally. Why would you even think that?”
“Your small stature, your chicken legs, your feminine jaw, your general weakness, the unending gab from your motor mouth-” Soldier ticked them off on his fingers.
I swatted down his hands. “Dude, jeez, I get it.”
He considered me again. “…You are sure you are not a very petite yet tomboyish girl?”
“Uh, yeah pally,” I scoffed. “I think I’d know.”
Twenty-two months later, my hard earned ponytail fitting snugly through my hat, I wondered if Soldier knew, somehow. That was stupid obviously—Soldier was completely bonkers even by the team’s standards, and if every weirdly nonsensical thing he’d ever said was true then I’d also be a spy from ten different countries and partially made of ranch dressing. But. I guess some small part of me liked the idea that it was apparent to someone. That there was some hard truth out there, and somehow Soldier was in tune with the weird songs of the universe enough to prophesize me even before I’d divined myself.
I was pretty far from the team’s campfire, the rush of the last hour still coursing through my system. It’d gone as well as I could have hoped, with everyone kind of knowing or at least suspecting by this point anyway, but I’d still been nice to get it all out in the open. A little family meeting of sorts. I smiled, watching them laugh and carry on with their drinking.
“Is something the matter, Scout?”
Spy’s voice startled me, but I totally didn’t jump or nothing, just turned my head as the creepy bastard slinked out of the dark.
“Nah,” I told him. “Was just a lot of adrenaline doing all that. Needed a moment to cool off. Not like I’m nervous or nothin’! Could’a talked about shit all day if those knuckleheads didn’t get it through their bozo craniums, but it’s just like after a run you take a breather to make sure you don’t get heat stroke or something-”
Spy held up a hand. “I understand. No need to elaborate.”
“Great. Cool. Just so you know that I’m not freakin’ out.”
He took a spot next to me, the rocks cool where the desert night came on fast and hit hard. We stayed like that for a while, him smoking, me staring with my chin in my arms.
“You come out here to say you’re surprised or something?” I asked, after the moon had ticked a little lower.
He blew a strand of smoke. “It wasn’t my primary goal, no.” He paused. “Though I was, to be sure.”
“Hah! Yeah you were! You should’ve seen your face.” I grinned, kicking a rock. “I can’t believe you were the last person to find out.”
“…I certainly couldn’t have been the last person to-” Spy stopped when he saw the shit-eating grin I was giving him. “Hm. Fine, I suppose I will take this as a loss to my professional pride.”
“Heh. Nice,” I snorted. “So if that isn’t what you wanted to talk about, what was?”
He hesitated a moment. “Scout if I have ever said something, to you or merely in passing that was…greatly insensitive, then I am sorry. I cannot hide the fact that this is not something I have experience with, and if my past ignorance has ever caused you distress then I apologize fully.”
I blinked. Was he serious? “Eh, don’t worry ‘bout it.”
“Ah, so I have made some faux pas. Again I’m sorry-”
“No,” I interrupted him. “I mean seriously, don’t worry about it. ‘Cause I don’t.”
Spy looked genuinely confused, already the second time that night when I’d barely seen him make that face in two years of working together. “Pardon?”
“I don’t really care about what you say,” I shrugged. “When it comes to things that bother me, crap my Ma’s shitty boyfriend says about how I look barely makes the list. After however many years of the way you’ve treated me, I’ve just kinda tuned you out.” I shrugged again. “How it is.”
“…Ah.”
I kinda missed when he was surprised, since that was at least easy to read. Now I didn’t know what to make of the mix of emotions crossing Spy’s face, only that I was sorta bored of the conversation.
“If that’s all you wanted to talk about, I’m heading back to the fire,” I said, smacking my legs as I stood. “Cold out here.”
I left Spy, not checking to see if he was still doing that thing with his face.
I honestly was planning on heading over to the fire, but I saw Soldier sitting on the bed of Engie’s truck, not doing anything but staring into space as he sipped his beer. It wasn’t even conscious really, I just suddenly found my feet moving in his direction, abandoning warmth for the lunatic with the bazooka. The weird things we do on instinct sometimes.
“Yo, Major General,” I greeted. “Feel like the smartest guy in the room yet?”
“I have never claimed to be!” Soldier said. “I settle for being the most tactically sound.”
“I meant about me, dumbass,” I rolled my eyes, then hopped on the bed next to him. I scooped up a beer while I was at it.
“You?” He might have been blinking at me under the helmet.
“One of the first times we ever met, you asked me if I was a chick.”
Soldier rubbed his chin, trying to recall. “…You said you weren’t.”
“Well I didn’t know at the time, dumbass.” I cracked my beer. “But now we all know, so congrats to you, pally.” I toasted in his general direction and drank.
“…How is it?”
“The beer or the chick thing?”
“Being a girl.”
“It’s alright,” I admitted, playing it cool. “The ponytail’s great though. Look! I can do this now.” I bobbled my head, showing that my hat stayed on no matter how hard I shook it. I kept bobbling until I almost fell off the truck, Soldier steadying me at the last moment.
“Careful, missy. You’re going to need to cut that soon if you don’t want it smacking you in the middle of battle,” Soldier pointed out. “That or braid it.”
My hand clamped defensively over the back of my head. “Nah, no way man.” Hearing how whiny that sounded, I tried to pass off my sudden movement as a stretch. “It’s fine. Plus I don’t even know how to braid.”
“…I could do it for you.”
Of all the batshit things Soldier had said to me over the years, this took the cake. “You? Know how to braid?”
I wanted to ask if he was pulling my leg right now, but his expression was just as dead serious as ever. He pointed downward and made a circular motion.
Hesitantly, I turned around, and felt him lift off my cap. The ponytail threaded out of it, and he tugged at the elastic until my hair fell free around my shoulders. I’d seen myself with it down in the mirror every morning before pulling it up, but it still felt odd to have it hanging free here in the same place we killed BLUs and got our guts blasted full of lead. Soldiers fingers carded through the loose strands, dividing them into chunks, but despite that it wasn’t nearly as weird as I thought it would be. It was actually…nice almost.
He wasn’t gentle—this was still Soldier after all—but the tugging at my roots was more pull than yank, a careful suggestion to go one way or the other. Nudging me towards something.
“How’d you learn to do this, anyway?” I asked.
“Used to do my sister’s,” he said gruffly. “Little sisters can’t do anything by themselves. They always try to follow you around, and then they get in trouble or fall in a creek or something.”
His fingers brushed against my neck every now and again. “As a professional little sister, that sounds about right.”
“You are not a professional little sister. You are a professional Scout. What sister-ing you do, you do on your own time missy.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
Soldier slipped the elastic around the braid’s end. I swung it around a few times, trying to see if Soldier had messed it up somehow, but only managed to almost fall off the truck bed again. Maybe that beer was really hitting me.
“…Thanks Solly,” I said, gently touching the braid’s end.
“Any time, private. If you need me to teach you, I will happily train you in the art of braids,” he declared. “And knot tying! But only if you meet my standards on the braid portion of the exam.”
I grinned at him. I’d done a lot of weeding, taking out the people and things I didn’t want in my life, but it was nice to know there were things I wouldn’t have to get rid of entirely. “Sure Soldier. I’ll think about it.”
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(6) New Messages from Dumbass No. 1
previous part // (1) New Message Masterlist // next part
Summary: Bucky just won’t answer and Y/N starts to freak out.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (Social Media AU will i ever admit defeat)
Warnings: swearing
A/N: I am back with more stupid dumbassery! Also I’m not saying I’m talking from experience, but I am talking from experience when I say I know exactly what Reader is going through. Having a gamer boyfriend is tough, especially when it comes to The Witcher or Diablo. My advice is just to act as if he’s a plant that needs to be watered constantly with food, but he won’t move unless it’s absolutely necessary
My Love (21:17) So steve's been bugging me to go running with him right
My Love (21: 17) I told him there's no way he can keep up with me
My Love (21:18) And Sam just started laughing super bitterly
My Love (21:18) Idk what that was about
My Love (21:18) But i agreed to meet him tmrw
My Love (21:18) And then sam started laughing like a seal
My Love (21:19) And told me he'll kiss you if i manage to beat steve
My Love (21:20) So now i gotta win no matter what bc i N E E D to see that
My Love (21:20) So you've been warned
My Love (21:21) Nat is coming tmrw as a judge
My Love (21:22) And we convinced Peggy to kiss Steve if he wins
My Love (21:22) And now i feel like he will most definitely win just bc the dum-dum still hasn't kissed her yet
My Love (21:23) Which she would totally be up for
My Love (21:23) So yeah, it was a fun night
My Love (21:23) Bummed you weren't feeling so great & couldn't come :(
My Love (21:24) I've been texting you for the last 10 mins
My Love (21:29) Are you going to reply today???
My Love (21:35) Do i need to send you nudes so you'll reply?
My Love (21:42) Ok i'm getting worried
My Love (21:46) BUCKY WHAT THE FUCK PICK UP YOUR PHONE
My Love (21:53) Ok that's it i'm coming over
*
Bucky's Y/N (21:47) Stevie, do you know where the fuck is Bucky? He's not picking up his phone
Stevie (21:49) He's not answering when I call him either. Do you want me to go over and see what's up with him? Maybe he's at the gym & his phone died, it's been known to happen
Bucky's Y/N (21:50) No, he said he wasn't feeling well & he'd stay in bed all night
Stevie (21:51) Wait a second
*
3 Clowns 1 Grump - group chat
Dumbass No. 3 (21:52) Y/N can't get ahold of Bucky
Dumbass No. 2 (21:53) MY CHRISTMAS WISH CAME TRUE
Dumbass No. 2 (21:54) BARNES IS FINALLY DEAD
Dumbass No. 3 (21:54) What did he say exactly when you last talked to him?
Dumbass No. 1 (21:54) Uh...
Dumbass No. 1 (21:55) Cuppycake (16:43) Sorry baby i'm not feeling too well i'll just stay in all night and maybe order some food don't worry abt me i might even fall asleep early so don't worry ok ok love you i’ll see you when i see you have fun
Dumbass No. 3 (21:55) Now that makes sense
Dumbass No. 2 (21:56) Yeah you won't be seeing him for a few days
Dumbass No. 1 (21:56) WHAT
Dumbass No. 1 (21:56) WHAT THE FUCK WHY
Dumbass No. 3 (21:57) He's playing the game Sam got him for christmas
Dumbass No. 1 (21:59) ...explain?
Dumbass No. 3 (22:00) Whenever Bucky gets a new game and he's really into it he just locks himself up in the house for a few days until he finishes it
Dumbass No. 1 (22:00) I'm sorry W H Y would you do that sam????
Dumbass No. 2 (22:01) Told you i wanted him dead for christmas
Dumbass No. 2 (22:01) Was hoping literally, but this works just as fine
Dumbass No. 1 (22:02) So you're saying im not gonna see him for a few days? He won't even pick up his phone?
Dumbass No. 3 (22:02) Just wait for him to go to the toilet
Dumbass No. 3 (22:02) Although sometimes he uses that time to eat just so he gets them both done at the same time
Dumbass No. 1 (22:03) I'm sorry what
Dumbass No. 2 (22:03) This is the best christmas present i ever got
*
2 days later:
3 Clowns 1 Grump - group chat
Bozo the Dickhead (16:36) That was ONE TIME Steve!
Bozo the Dickhead (16:36) I DON'T eat on the toilet
Bozo the Dickhead (16:36) Fuck you Sam
Dumbass No. 2 (16:41) Aw there goes my peace and quiet
Dumbass No. 3 (16:41) I'm not even going to ask if you ate or how dehydrated you are rn
Dumbass No. 3 (16:41) Did you talk to Y/N at least?
Bozo the Dickhead (16:43) Yeah she's here
Bozo the Dickhead (16:43) Came here after you two idiots freaked her out
Dumbass No. 2 (16:44) I’ve been sending her memes all day yesterday
Dumbass No. 2 (16:44) Why the hell hasn't she been replying?
Bozo the Dickhead (16:44) Wait a second
Bozo the Dickhead (16:46) (VOICE MESSAGE) I'M IN A FUCKING RIFT DON'T TALK TO ME RIGHT NOW BUCKY WHAT THE FUCK I NEED TO BEAT THIS BOSS FUCK OFF
Dumbass No. 3 (16:47) Oh god we've lost her too
Dumbass No. 2 (16:47) I take back my words
Dumbass No. 2 (16:48) THIS is the best christmas present
Bozo the Dickhead (16:49) (VOICE MESSAGE) FUCK YOU SAM
Bozo the Dickhead (16:49) God i love her so much
Dumbass No. 3 (16:50) I can’t wait until i become an uncle or an aunt ❤️
Bozo the Dickhead (16:50)
Dumbass No. 2 (16:50)
Bozo the Dickhead (16:51) wtf where do you have that photo from
Dumbass No. 2 (16:52) Y/N
Dumbass No. 2 (16:53) We’re communicating through pics of u exclusively
Bozo the Dickhead (16:53) What
Dumbass No. 3 (16:54)
Dumbass No. 3 (16:54) I thought we weren’t supposed to tell him
Bozo the Dickhead (16:55) WHAT THE FUCK
Dumbass No. 3 (16:55)
Dumbass No. 3 (16:55) Y/N is gonna kill us
Dumbass No. 2 (16:56)
Dumbass No. 2 (16:56) Bring it on
Bozo the Dickhead (16:57) HOW DID U GET THESE PHOTOS WHERSS DI D THEY COME FROEKM
Dumbass No. 1 (16:58) Why does Bucky have steam coming out of his ears
Dumbass No. 1 (16:59) Oh shit
Dumbass No. 1 (17:00)
***
Taglist:
@miss-nerd95 | @myboyfriendgiriboy | @imma-new-soul
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes social media au#bucky barnes social media#social media au#bucky barnes
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Are you not gonna post the messages you got correcting you on the plot of the movie? Because the movie is gonna come out eventually, Harry or no Harry, and you’re gonna look like an idiot eventually. Might as well bite the bullet now, Olivia. Apologize for being a dumbass and move on
.......even if the book is about a SeCuRitY GuARd we’re not going to act as if they dont use the same tactics of intimidation and racial profiling that actual cops use.
Treyvon Martin was killed by a security guard.
So all of you bozos in my ask telling me that im dumb, im not the dumb one luv. You all are missing the forest for the trees. In your attempt to so fiercely defend your fave, you are excusing racism and injustice. Think about what im saying OUTSIDE of the context of harry and the plot of this movie. The movie is gonna come out eventually, harry or no harry, and everything ive said about blm and acab will still be true because i have the ability to use my critical thinking skills (which i didnt realize so many people lacked) and understand the context of my points outside of the film. Being gay will never be an excuse for racism or anything else. Black cops still contribute to the systematic oppression of black people. No movie or actor is going to change that. So stop defending harry and actually LISTEN to what people are saying.
#i just think its inch resting how its all BLM and ACAB....until it comes to your fave#ask olivia#ask me#harry styles#blm#acab
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Her Light to His Darkness
Chapter 8: Ember
Read in Ao3
"Marinette, Alya's here!"
"Hey, girl!" Her best friend's booming voice made Marinette look up from the empty chat room that belonged to her and Chat Noir.
And frankly, she was grateful for Alya's interruption. She didn't even know how to begin a conversation with him over text. She never had to before.
"Hey, Alya!" She said, knowing full well how absent minded she sounded as she exited the application, putting her phone away.
She had been wearing his jacket all day, enjoying the warmth it gave her, though she embroidered flowers around the cuffs and hem, after getting Chat's permission to do so. ("It's yours now, you're free to ruin it if you wanted to.")
Mainly she had done it to prevent anyone from recognising it as something that did not belong to her, and she would have chosen paw prints, but that would serve to connect her more to Chat Noir than she would have liked.
Not in a bad way, she wanted his gift to be a secret only they could hold on to, like their partnership.
Starting her text straight off with her thoughts about building a new team would be a good start, but she didn't only want to talk about semantics with him. Not after looking at that excited gleam in his eye when she suggested the idea.
She couldn't also ask about what exactly was eating him away last night, but she could tell that there was something he was not telling her. Whenever he was so excruciatingly happy he could melt sunshine and fart rainbows, something was up.
'Did you sleep well?' THERE, that could have been a good start. Why didn't she think of that before Alya came over?
Alya looked up at her best friend lost in thought before shaking her head and dropping her bag on Marinette's chaise. Absent mindedness was a classic Marinette quirk, and she didn't mind after years of experiencing it.
"So, is Miss Head in the Clouds gonna come back to earth?" She snapped her fingers in front of Marinette's face. "I promise I'll let you go back once you see all the work you missed."
Marinette groaned, letting Alya pat her shoulder in solidarity. "I think I'll catch an express train there before you give me permission anyway. So how bad is the damage?"
"Not that much. Just a few notes for History, two homework excercises in Math, three chapters to review in 'Les Trois Mousquetaires', and that's it."
"Nooooooo" Marinette dramatically wailed, throwing herself into Alya's arms as she laughed. "I should never have skipped school today."
"Nonsense." Alya chided, pushing her glasses up her nose as she stared Marinette down. "I'm so glad you took a day off, girl, you were working yourself to death. And it seems like it's coming along pretty well." She eyed the mannequin which wore a completed underskirt.
"Oh, that? Yeah I'd been keeping that around. It works well as a base for a lot of dresses."
"Ooohh, are you making a dress?" Alya perked up, sitting down on her chaise. "To wear on the Heroes' anniversary?"
Marinette stiffened. Oh darn. She had been so excited about the prospect of getting to go there in the first place that she didn't think of a proper excuse for herself.
She didn't need one for her parents, they were leaving for Shanghai to meet her great-uncle that day and Marinette had planned to spend the entire day brooding.
"I...uh, see, here's the thing, I don't think I'm going?" She stammered.
"What?? Why not??"
"I've never been to these things before?"
"Yeah, none of us have! Except for maybe Adrien and Lila," she added as an afterthought, missing Marinette's eyes roll. "We were all underage! This is the first year we all get to go! Why would you miss it?"
"I don't know, Alya." Marinette rubbed her arm. "I just don't think I'm in a party mood."
Alya narrowed her eyes. "Is this because Adrien will have to be there? Did he do something to make you feel uncomfortable?"
"Alya!" Marinette yelped. "No, why would he do something like that?"
"Just kidding. We all know Adrien doesn't have a mean bone in his body. You still come first to me, though." She winked. "But seriously, are you just avoiding seeing Adrien? I thought you two were getting along well?"
"We are! This isn't about him!"
"M, I love your dedication to your arts and I've never seen you miss an opportunity to use it."
"I'm not making a dress for the ball or anything, I'm just testing out something new." Marinette said weakly, burning under her best friend's gaze.
"What is really up, Marinette? What's got you so much on edge?"
Suddenly, inspiration struck. The good kind.
"Okay, I'll tell you the truth. But you can't tell anyone,and most importantly, my parents can't know I told you, so don't mention this in front of them." She ordered.
Alya mimed sealing her lips shut.
"My great-aunt passed away two years ago on that day." Marinette looked down at her feet.
Alya gasped.
"Yeah, uh, that's why my parents are leaving to meet my great-uncle on that day, and I didn't really want to tag along because you know, all the memories and stuff and.... I just really miss her a lot. That day is really hard for me, Alya, I don't think I want to spend it like that."
"Oh no, Marinette, I'm so sorry." Alya stood up and hugged her tightly. "I had no idea."
"Yeah, well," Marinette sighed in relief. "Now you know why."
"I'm so sorry I was pushing you about this, I didn't realise you were going through a lot."
"Oh that's okay, Alya, you didn't know."
Technically she wasn't lying. Her great uncle was a widower, except he had been one long before Marinette was even born. She had picked a great excuse.
"Do you miss her?" Alya asked uncertainly.
"Very much. She was a great cook, I loved her food. And she was one of the few people who was all for my parents getting married in my mom's side of the family."
"Oh, girl. I swear to you, I'm gonna protect you from every nosy bozo that tries to grill you into answers." She said determinedly. "No one is going to get to you except through me."
Marinette chuckled slightly. "I'd like to see them try in the first place, I really don't think anybody cares."
"Wait, so, no mentioning this in front of your parents, right?" Alya asked for clarification.
"No, I don't want to make my mom sad, she was her aunt's favourite niece."
"Got it." Alya saluted. "You are so strong, you know? Dealing with all this by yourself? I really wish I knew before. I would have helped you."
"I'm sorry, Alya." Marinette said, sadly. Sure, a bit of research and Alya could expose her, but she knew Alya. She would never pry into something Marinette explicitly told her was off limits.
Which explained a lot about the several years she tried to get her and Adrien together.
"Nah, don't apologise. I'm just glad you told me."
"You're the best!" Marinette said, hugging her to cover up her too-perky voice that should not have belonged to someone who was mourning.
"Girls?" Sabine poked her head into Marinette's room.
"Mom?"
"What's up, Mrs. Cheng?"
"Alya, dear, we were just done with lunch, would you like to join us?"
"Oh, please do!" Marinette said excitedly. "It's been forever since you came by."
Alya grinned. "I actually have to leave in an hour to babysit my sisters, but how can I say no to food?"
--------------------------------
"You look happier." Plagg said from his perch in Adrien's collar.
"I got to spend the day with Nino, how could I not be happy?" Adrien said innocently. He was wearing Air Pods to make it look like he was talking over the phone instead of his kwami.
"His family's food is boring. Why didn't you try and suggest more cheese in their diet?"
"Frankly, I think I'm the last person who should be suggesting anything about food." Adrien rolled his eyes.
"That's true. Human taste buds are generally terrible, but you have none of them."
"Why are you always stealing my lines?"
"Why are you always saying them?"
Adrien was glad he didn't have the Gorilla come over to pick him up at school. Walking to Nino's house with him, laughing all the way, teaching Chris to play video games, Adrien being a surprisingly good teacher, and wiping the floor with the Lahiffe brothers when it came to Twister was the breath of fresh air he didn't know he needed.
"If only I could do this more often. I'm lucky Father was too distracted to notice what I asked of him."
"So I'm guessing you're not getting an appointment with him today?" Plagg asked, his mood appropriately sombre.
"I'm not even going to try. I don't want to ruin my mood."
"Oohhh, nine o clock." Plagg said, as Adrien came up to a crossroad.
"What are you talking about? It's three."
"No, dumbass, I mean, nine o clock!!."
Realising Plagg's wording, Adrien looked to his left, and his eyes went wide when he saw Marinette exiting a store carrying three heavy looking bags laden with....he didn't know. He couldn't tell from the distance.
She really could use some help though.
"Marinette!!" He called, rushing over to her. She didn't seem to hear him, casually walking all the while trying to fit the handles of two bags in one hand.
"Marinette?" He called again uncertainly, and this time she heard him.
"Aahh!" She squeaked, spinning around to face him. "Adrien? Hi, what a-are you doing here?"
"Oh I was just walking back home from Nino's." He smiled. One automatically found the urge to smile when Marinette was around. Now he didn't know if that theory was true for everyone but it definitely was for him. "Do you need some help?"
"Oh no, that's okay!" She shook her head, and he couldn't help but notice the exertion she was trying so hard to hide. "They must be expecting you at home, and these bags are very very light, haha!"
"Exactly." Adrien smirked, walking up to her and dislodging two of the bags from her with ease. "If they were heavy, you'd be on your own."
"Wha-hey," she smacked his arm with the back of her hand. "Not funny."
"And besides, I'm kind of trying to put off going home for a while, would that be okay with you?"
"If it won't get you in trouble...."
"It won't," he assured. It was a barefaced lie, but Marinette was worth it.
"Oh okay, then." Marinette grinned at him. "Thank you for carrying my very light bags."
"So, what happened?" Adrien asked, noting Marinette's cute blue blouse and capris whose hems she had no doubt artfully frayed herself, paired off with a black sweater tied around her waist with an appreciative eye. "Why weren't you at school today?"
The 14 year old in Marinette's heart beat fast. He actually missed her? The 17 year old's heart was still beating fast, though she wasn't too surprised at Adrien noticing she was not around. They were friends after all.
"Oh, I wanted to take a day off." She shrugged, pushing a lock of hair that had slipped out from her ponytail behind her ear, not noticing Adrien's eyes following the motion of her hand. "Things were getting really hectic."
"Oh, I'm glad you did." Adrien said nonchalantly, before realising what that implied. "I mean, not that I don't want you around - I'm glad you took some rest and you don't look sad and tired anymore - not that you are always sad and tired!!"
Was throwing himself in front of the nearest approaching vehicle a good idea? It certainly seemed better than this.
Marinette on the other hand was laughing, pink dusting her cheeks (which made Adrien note how her blush brought out the freckles on her nose). It was nice to not be the stuttering, bumbling fool for once.
"That was very smooth, Adrien."
"Ugh,please just....forget that happened and treat this as payback for me overlooking you doing that exact same thing for years."
Marinette let out an offended gasp. "Hey, you take that back!"
"Do you really want to treat the guy who is holding precious cargo of yours so cruelly?"
"You wouldn't." Marinette said, unfazed as they both came to a stop in front of a green signal. "You don't have it in you to."
".... that's fair." Adrien conceded. The light turned red, allowing pedestrians to cross over.
"So... what's with all the red fabric? And black, and pink..."
"It's for a side project I'm working on." She explained.
Huh. Why did that remind him of something Ladybug said last night?
Oh yeah, Ladybug mentioned some side projects too. That must be it. Now that he thought about it, the red reminded him a lot of Ladybug's suit too.
"It's a dress, Adrien, why are you looking at me like that?"
"Is it a dress or a boutique?"
"You are on fire today." Marinette remarked. "No it's um...." She hesitated, and he immediately felt bad for prying.
Before he could open his mouth and apologize, Marinette said, "It's a secret."
"A secret?"
"A secret....client. I can't tell you who it is because they wanted to be anonymous. Sorry, customer-seller confidentiality." She shrugged.
Adrien narrowed his eyes. "I see how it is. Go on, keep your secrets."
Marinette nudged his shoulder playfully, though she sighed in relief. Adrien was definitely better at dropping a subject than Alya.
"So, speaking of dresses, are you going to that shindig the Mayor is hosting for Ladybug and Chat Noir?"
.....she clearly spoke too soon.
"Oh, um, no, I'm not."
His face fell immediately. "Oh? Why not?"
"Family... stuff. My parents will be out of town and...I really just don't feel like partying at the moment."
It was a very cryptic answer, but one that Adrien took. "Oh, that's too bad. I'm sorry you can't go."
"What about you?" She deflected the subject to him. "Are you going? What am I saying, of course you are-"
"I'm not, actually." Adrien interrupted.
"You're not??"
"My dad called me over to his office this morning." He explained. "Apparently, he doesn't want an Agreste to be found at any event hosted by a Bourgeois."
"What? Why would he want that?? Don't the Agrestes and the Bourgeoises go way back?"
"Not at the moment. He's kind of pissed with Chloe's mom, as you know." He said, watching her expression sour understandably when he mentioned Chloe.
"Audrey Bourgeois?"
Adrien raised an eyebrow at Marinette's clueless expression. "You don't know about their feud?"
"Feud?"
Of course she didn't know. Marinette was never the kind to skim trashy tabloid magazines, even if they were about her fashion idols.
"Well, my father and Madame Bourgeois got into a bit of a spat over cuffs vs ruffles on tuxedo jackets at New York Fashion Week a month ago, and they're both being really petty now."
"No!!"
"Oh yes, I was there. I witnessed every angry, drunken second of it."
"Ruffles vs cuffs??!!" Marinette was disgusted, which greatly amused him.
"Innovation is key in fashion."
"Yes, it is, but there's innovation, and then there's plain fashion faux pas! Who puts ruffles on a SUIT?"
Adrien nearly choked from holding back a giggle. "Someone stupid, no doubt."
"Yeah!!" Marinette agreed enthusiastically.
"Like my father."
It felt like all time had stopped in Marinette's world. Did she just agree to calling her friend's father and her idol stupid?
Yes,it definitely seemed like she did.
She nearly dropped her bag as she stammered her apologies.
"Marinette, it's fine!!" He reassured, putting down one of the bags to touch her shoulder. "I'm not mad."
"No-no it's NOT fine!!! Oh my god I just insulted Gabriel Agreste, and he's y-your father and I insulted you by extension!! That's it, my career as a fashion designer is OVER!!"
"In fact, I actually agree with you." Adrien said, his kind smile never wavering.
"You're just saying that to make me feel better!!"
"Why wouldn't I say things to make you feel better?"
Seriously, was he even aware of the effects words like that had on her??
"You really agree?" She asked quietly. "You're not going to rat me out to your dad?"
He pulled her in for a one armed hug. "Come on, would I really choose ruffles on tuxedos over you?"
Marinette stiffened a little before wrapping an arm around his waist as she returned his hug. Adrien's hugs stopped affecting her a long time ago. (Re: never)
"I'm sorry." She kept on stammering even as she pulled away.
"Don't apologise." Adrien said, as he picked up the bag he had put down. "Besides, that was kind of entertaining. I'm gonna hold that over you for the rest of your life."
"a-ADRIEN!" She squealed as he laughed out loud.
--------------------------------------
Adrien left the Dupain Cheng bakery after Madame Cheng fussed over him, telling him how tall and lean he'd gotten, all the while stuffing a bag of macarons that she and her daughter refused to let him pay for.
It wasn't often that many people fussed over him out of love and not to check his posture or whether his clothes were fitting properly.
"I suppose these macarons aren't too bad." Plagg mumbled from Adrien's pocket.
"Are you kidding? They're delicious!"
"If you marry her, you'll get a lot more..." Plagg singsonged.
Adrien choked on his food. "Plagg, not this again!!!"
"Whatever, I'm not in the mood to bully you anyway. I'm too tired. Good night!!"
He said all in one breath as he curled up inside his chosen's pocket and began to snore immediately.
Adrien smiled half heartedly. Only Plagg would be able to infuriate him and look cute at the same time.
It was a shame that Marinette wasn't going to be there. He didn't want to push her too much, seeing as he wasn't going either, but he had hoped to see her as Chat Noir at least. She wasn't very subtle about the fact that she was a Chat Noir fan over the years he had known her.
That put a huge grin on his face. Chat Noir did have fans, though they were admittedly less than Ladybug. He didn't mind in the slightest, (His Ladybug shrine says hello) knowing that she deserved every bit of the praise she recieved. He got enough attention as Adrien already, he didn't want to add on to it.
Still, the appreciation he got from Marinette - doh, he meant his tiny fan club did bring a bit of pride along with it.
The train of thought was a confusing thing. First he was imagining meeting Marinette as Chat Noir, and then he was imagining her in a ball gown in the same colors of the fabric she purchased.
No, it was Plagg messing with his mind again. Marinette was off limits, and he had always known that. He dearly wished he asked her what happened with that guy she fell out with though.
He owed it to her for keeping his secret about the faceless girl he fought with.
Wrenching his thoughts away from Marinette's laugh was tough, but when he succeeded, they only landed on Chloe.
She had kicked him out last time, but would she really do it again? Sabrina had approached him at school, begging him to reason with her, because she was becoming quite unbearable.
Adrien's only response to Sabrina then had to kindly tell her to take a break from Chloe and focus on the new friends she had made for herself at lycée, and that he would take care of Chloe for a while. He had really meant he would do it eventually.
Oh what the heck, he didn't want to go home immediately anyway.
---------------------------------
"Good afternoon, Monsieur Jean." Adrien greeted politely when he came across Chloe's butler in the lobby of the Grand Paris.
"Good afternoon, Adrien." He beamed down kindly at him. "Are you here to see Mademoiselle Chloe?"
"If she's here and hasn't chosen to shop till she drops." He said, crossing his arms gravely.
"She's in her room. Would you like me to escort you?"
"No, thank you." Adrien shook his head, but Jean's expression remained grave. "I highly recommend having some company, Adrien. Mademoiselle is not in a good mood."
Adrien scrunched up his eyebrows. He really wanted to talk to Chloe, but at the same time he wanted to survive and see the next day. "Okay. Thank you. No one's better than you at handling her after all."
He really didn't want to 'handle' his friend. He missed getting to talk to her somewhat normally. Even if half of it was her glomping him and making him uncomfortable until he pushed her away a few inches.
------------------------------------
"Uh....are you sure now is the right time to go in?" Adrien asked uncertainly.
Jean was shaking in front of the door, refusing to open the door just yet.
"Mademoiselle is very disturbed these days. The honorable Mayor and Madame Bourgeois don't-" he seemed to realise he was talking about his superiors.
"Don't worry, it's just me. I'm not going to say anything." Adrien reassured.
"They are, erm, quite absorbed in each other. They haven't been seeing that Mademoiselle needs some support and someone to listen. If not you, me, or Sabrina, the only people left are them. Even Mademoiselle's companions from her school are forbidden from entering her room."
Over time, Adrien, Jean and Sabrina had formed a sort of a kinship, all brought together by Chloe.
"You know what? Standing here is not going to do anything." Adrien said firmly, knocking on Chloe's door.
There was no answer.
"Chloe?? Chloe, it's me, Adrien, please open the door!"
"Let go of me!!!" They heard a shriek from inside.
"What the-??" Adrien gasped. "Chloe, what's wrong???"
"I will never work for you, you sniveling rat!!!"
Jean turned the knob frantically, but it was locked. He threw a shoulder into the door just as Adrien heard something crash from the inside.
He threw another shoulder, then another before Adrien pulled him away. "Stop! You're hurting yourself!!"
"But-" before he could react, Adrien slammed the entire side of his body against the door and it swung open with a loud crash.
"Chloe!!!" Adrien shouted, horrified at the sight.
He had expected to see Chloe having a nightmare, or her being akumatised again.
He did not expect to see her swinging an umbrella like a bat at an akuma flapping dangerously close to it.
"Hold her back!!" Adrien ordered Jean and he ran over to the fighting teenager away from the butterfly.
Adrien wished with all his might that Ladybug had been here, she would know what to do.
She would...she would have made everyone calm down so the Akuma didn't use fear as an advantage. Or in Chloe's case, anger.
"Let go of me!!" Chloe struggled against her butler's hold. "I'll get back at him if it's the last thing I'll-"
"SHUT UP!!" Adrien hollered, throwing himself in between the Akuma and her.
"Adrikins, why don't YOU stop being stupid and let me get my revenge?!!" She flailed the umbrella at him, and he flinched away from the tip before he got mauled.
Adrien took a deep breath. He couldn't afford to get hot headed. He wasn't Chat Noir now, he didn't have powers, and he couldn't leave Chloe alone in the same room as an akuma.
"Mademoiselle, please, calm down." Jean said holding her shoulders. "You are feeding yourself more to Hawkmoth if you become angry."
"I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE ANGRY!!"
"Chloe, that's ENOUGH." Adrien said sternly. "Do you really want to become an Akuma again?"
Chloe panted, levelling a dirty glare at him. "Maybe I would if I could get back at Ladybug for not choosing me, but who knows if that old bastard won't use me and throw me away again?? No ONE uses Chloe Bourgeois, NO ONE!!"
"Chloe, if you don't want to work for Hawkmoth, the only way to do it is to not give in to him." Adrien said, trying to keep his trembling voice calm, the flap of the akumas wings beating in his ears. "You don't want to be used? You don't give in to the people trying to. You're better than that. I know you're better than that."
"I just, I-"
"Take a deep breath, Mademoiselle. Everything is going to be all right."
Chloe shook in the butler's arms before doing as he said, though the tears in her eyes didn't subside. She was still too vulnerable.
He had to put an end to this.
"Stay here, and keep her calm at all costs. Don't let fear overtake you." Adrien warned before running out of Chloe's suite.
"Adrien!" Jean called but he didn't reply.
------------------------------------
A moment later, Chat Noir burst out of the elevator running down the hallway into the suite of the mayor's daughter.
"Is everyone alright?? Where's the Akuma??" He asked in a clipped tone, pulling out his staff.
Everything was exactly the same way it was as he had left it a minute ago.
Probably Chat Noir arriving not a minute after Adrien left was suspicious, but he really couldn't bring himself to care.
"Chat Noir!!" Jean sounded grateful, Chloe's eyes widened and she turned away, refusing to look at him.
"Alright, I guess it's just you and me now, butterfly." He stared down the purple insect, challenging it like it were Hawkmoth himself.
(It was, in a way.)
To his surprise, instead of flying for him, the akuma flew out the window, fluttering away.
"Oh no, you don't!" Chat jumped out the window as the inhabitants of the room screamed, but he caught himself on of the hotel's lights, swinging himself up on it as he bobbed his head around, looking for the purple insect.
It was flying away, presumably to find someone else to akumatise now that Chloe was out of the picture.
Chat climbed up, landing on all fours on top of Chloe's rooftop lounge chair.
"I've got you now, Cataclysm!" He called, taking a running leap of faith and succeeding as he caught the struggling butterfly in his palm, opening it and letting it's dead remains fall.
"Phew." He sighed in relief. "That was a close one."
As he climbed back into the window, he realised he had attracted quite the crowd. There were people down there clicking pictures and oohing and aahing.
"Nothing to see here!! Please, move along!!!" He called to them, not looking back to see if they had left.
"Is everything okay? Is anyone hurt?" Chat asked, only for Jean to clasp his hands in his, and profusely thank him.
However, that wasn't what caught his eye. Chloe looked significantly less rumpled than she had been when he threw open those doors. She had quickly wiped her eyes and straightened up her clothes.
"Jean-Pierre, get this stray out of my room." She said, turning up her nose at a wall, not facing either of them.
"But, mademoiselle, he saved our lives!"
"Oh, and I suppose that gives him the right to camp out in MY room?? Give me a break."
Chat fought the urge to keep his eye from twitching. "Alright, Chloe, I will leave if that's what you want. I just wanted to say that..." He gave up trying to catch her eye. "...that it was brave of you to fight that Akuma head on. Not many would have done that."
Nodding politely to Jean, he made to walk out the door, but backtracked when he realised, that Chloe wasn't apparently done with her rant.
"That's just it!" She stomped her foot. "I am capable of being a hero, I'm capable of fighting for your incompetent team of LOSERS, I rejected an Akuma from Hawkmoth twice!!! What more does Ladybug and her stray want???! Nothing I ever do is enough!! Nothing!! You have no place coming in here and calling me brave after you two humiliated me!! You practically drove me into Hawkmoth's side!! This is all your fault!"
He didn't even realise that she had still been holding the umbrella until she flung it to the ground in anger.
"I'm sorry you feel that way, Chloe. That was not our intention."
"Then WHAT was?!" At this point it sounded more like a cry for help more than a tantrum. "Why me?? Why only me?! Why not that reporter or her lame boyfriend?? Why me??"
"I can't explain the reasons behind decisions that are between me and Ladybug." He said curtly, crossing his arms. "Rena Rouge and Carapace-" he emphasized their names on purpose. "-took the rule of having their identities being secret seriously, and most importantly, they trusted and respected Ladybug's choices just as much as I do."
He didn't slide even a little into the accusing side, sticking to the facts, and that infuriated Chloe.
"So? We all have to be Ladybug's lapdogs to be accepted by her? Thanks, but no thanks! In fact, I don't have to enjoy the tacky shindig Paris is forcing us to host, because I won't even be there!"
Adrien was taken aback.
"You don't deserve my presence, you don't deserve my hospitality, and you certainly don't deserve parties!" She huffed and turned her back to him. "I'm way better off without you."
"If you're trying to get me to yell at you, it's not going to work." He said firmly.
She didn't answer.
"Chloe, I can't change what happened in the past. None of us can. I just wish you the best. And I hope you'll realise that you don't have to be a hero to be special, and there's more to being one than just fighting."
Jean gave him a relieved thumbs up, more or less pleading with his eyes to save himself before he incurred her wrath.
Chat gave him a one fingered salute before running down the hallway, thankfully catching an open elevator.
"Plagg?" Adrien asked uncertainly inside the stationery elevator.
"Yes, kid?"
"Do you think I was too gentle with her?"
"What, like being angry was going to get you anywhere?" Plagg scoffed. "You did good by not backing down to her anger. You and Ladybug made it clear several times she can't be the Bee, and she knows it. Her loss."
Adrien bit his lip. "I'm still worried about her."
"Yeah, ADRIEN can be worried about her. Chat Noir doesn't have to be."
Adrien pondered on those words as he pushed the button to open the elevator again.
-----------------------------------
"Is everything okay?" Adrien jogged into the room, acting appropriately frantic. "Chat Noir told me to stay down there so-" he paused when saw Chloe hugging a pillow to her face, sitting cross legged on her bed as Jean watched over her worriedly.
"What...what happened?" He asked quietly, sitting down on the bed next to her.
Chloe only wailed louder.
"Chat Noir saved us from the Akuma, but erm....he had some words for Mademoiselle."
Adrien hissed. "Did he, I mean, was he mean?"
"Yes!" Chloe said, before giving in to both Adrien and her butler's glances. "No, he wasn't." She grumbled. "Why wasn't he???"
"Would it have been easier for you to be mad if he did?" Adrien said dryly.
Chloe stiffened and glared at him, though she didn't reject his statement.
"May we please be alone for sometime?" Adrien quietly asked Jean, who nodded and left the room.
"Chloe, are you ready to listen to me now?" Adrien asked her quietly. "If you aren't, there's always another day."
She nodded her head, but didn't say anything.
"You wanna tell me what Chat Noir told you?"
She quietly quoted his words to him, and he listened intently. For one, he was surprised she didn't try to twist anything.
"You know, I think, maybe your goal shouldn't be being "Queen Bee" again." Adrien said quietly, not beating around the bush.
"Why not??"
"Well, for one, they made it clear you can't be."
"And I'm supposed to just listen??"
"What would happen if you don't? You don't know where the miraculous is, you don't know how to find it, and making Ladybug and Chat Noir your enemy clearly is not working. What's the point, Chlo? There's got to be an end for this."
"Are you telling me to give up?" She glared at him. "That's not what a hero does."
"Heroes know to pick their battles. And this one is a battle you've already lost. There's nothing one can do about it."
"So what do you want me to do if I'm not going to be Queen Bee? She was all I had! She was the one thing that made everyone see me as, more than what I am!"
"You don't have to be more than what you are, Chloe. Yourself is enough. Believe me, because I'm a model, a star student, a fencer, a socialite, the perfect son, but what I really am is none of those things. And honestly, I... don't know if I want to be."
He looked down at his shoes. He hadn't even admitted that to Ladybug, not like he could. But right now, no one needed to hear those words more than Chloe.
And it was seemingly enough for her to listen.
"Being perfect and exceptional all the time for everyone is exhausting Chloe, don't make the same mistakes I did." He said gently. "You really want to be a hero? You don't need some fancy comb for that."
She retched in disgust. "You're asking me to be NICE?"
"Why not?" Adrien said undeterred. "There's nothing wrong with being nice."
"Adrikins, you are too innocent. No one is ever nice without a reason. I refuse to let myself get played."
"Not everyone in the world is out to get you."Adrien said sharply. "Do you think I'm out to get you? Is Sabrina? Is Jean?"
"Three people isn't enough, and honestly quite depressing. Besides, I have friends at my school anyway."
"Really? Are they really your friends? Do you feel like you can be yourself with them? Or do you have to constantly put on a mask to make them like you?"
Chloe was speechless. "B-but-"
"Be yourself with them, Chloe. And by be yourself, I mean be your NICE self, which I know you can be. If they don't accept you as you are, like the three of us have, then they aren't worth it."
"Why do I have to be nice?" She whined. "It's so much easier being mean."
"You could be nice because you think it's the right thing to do." He supplied hopefully. "Not for some ulterior motive or because being cynical is superior, because it's really not."
"What do you want me to do?" She said sarcastically. "Walk up to Sabrina and give her a 24k necklace?"
"You don't have to do that! You know Sabrina, she doesn't need those things."
"Lame." She muttered.
"She wants her friend back." He said, and that made her pause. "She just wants to hang out with you like normal friends, not like she's your slave, Chloe, because that's wrong. You can't order her around and have her do your homework for you."
"We don't even go to the same school anymore!"
"All the same, you have to start being nice to her, properly nice, because you want to be her friend and you appreciate her being there for you - don't give me that look, you KNOW she's been more patient with you than I have. Just.... go up to her tomorrow, and ask if you want to spend some time together. It's that easy. Ask her what SHE wants to do, and chances are you'll like it too. That way, you can show her that you really appreciate her as a friend."
"And if I don't?"
"I'm not going to threaten you into being nice, Chloe, that kind of defeats the purpose. All I'm saying is, focusing your energy on something positive that you KNOW will make you happy instead of fighting a losing battle is quite frankly the only advice I can give you. I'm not going to make you, or force you to follow it, because that's not right."
He was so focused on trying to get his words across, he didn't realise Chloe had been blankly staring at the wall.
"Chloe?"
She only got down from her bed and stared at her full length mirror.
"I really need a facial, no, an entire body spa treatment pronto." She said, staring at herself in disgust.
Adrien was affronted. Did she even listen to what he was saying?
"Do you think Sabrina will join? Who am I kidding, she needs this more than I do. Have you seen her bushy eyebrows? Hot. Mess."
Adrien grinned as he got off the bed. Not exactly what he was hoping for. But it would do. "I guess you don't need me for now."
"Yeah, yeah, you can show yourself out." She waved at him, not looking up from her phone. "I'm busy."
"See you, Chloe." Adrien walked over to the door, pulling out his own phone as he did.
He quickly opened his messaging app and texted Ladybug.
To his surprise, she had texted him first.
♥️♥️Bugaboo♥️♥️: Did you sleep well?
He was sure there was an idiotic smile on his face, but he didn't mind.
"Adrikins?" He looked behind him when he saw Chloe stand at her doorway, her phone to her ear.
"T-th-tha-"
"Come on, you can say it." He encouraged.
"Thank you." She blurted. A second later, she gagged. "I'm never saying that again - OH finally you picked up, what took you so long?"
"Chloe...." Adrien warned.
"Ehm, I mean, Hi, Sabrina." Chloe's voice trailed off as she walked back into her room.
He turned his attention back to his phone.
Belch-Noir: We need to talk.
Belch-Noir: It's serious, but not urgent, I promise.
Belch-Noir: We don't have joint patrol until Monday, so we can talk then. It's about Chloe.
Belch-Noir: And yes, I did sleep well, Bugaboo♥️
#miraculous ladybug#her light to his darkness#my fics#adrien#marinette#adrienette#ladybug#chat noir#ladynoir
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Writing Prompt Wednesday
Tim’s manhandled back onto the cold pavement, the buzz of screams and horrified murmurs melding between his ears, the churn of a sensationalised crowd muted beneath the grunt of Jason above him.
The man shifts, fingers sliding along Tim’s collarbone with swift, clinical movements, shucking his suit jacket off his left shoulder. It irritates his wound, makes the bleed flare with sharp pain as a groan rings up Tim’s throat.
“Ouch,” he mutters, and Jason gives him a strained chuckle for the effort. His lips twitch in a smile anyway, and Tim spends the next few minutes chasing back the blur to focus on the man.
He’s still wearing his domino, though the helmet is missing; a shift of Tim’s knee tells him it’s resting on the pavement behind where he’s kneeling, crouched over Tim’s prone form.
“Hold still,” Jason instructs, as if Tim were trying to go anywhere. He’s had enough holes punched in him to know when he’s not going to be mobile for at least a few hours. In the distance, he can hear the hum of approaching sirens.
“You were on the roof?” Tim asks when Jason rolls the jacket down to his elbow, brushing back the tear in his shirt sleeve to bare the wound. It’s bleeding sluggishly, bright red and violent, and Jason regards it with displeasure.
“Yeah, saw the van pull up back,” he grunts back, and begins pawing through the pouches on his belt. “Was just coming around to the front when I heard the gunfire.”
Tim sighs and leans back, brow scrunching when that ignites his side again. He focuses on breathing slow and even, until he can press back the discomfort enough to ask, “Everyone else get out okay?”
Jason barks a bitter laugh, something chastising in the eyes he keeps sweeping over Tim’s battered body. He manages to find what he was looking for, evidently, because he begins unspooling a strip of gauze in Tim’s peripheral as he casts his gaze back over the disassembled crowd. “They’re fine. It’s almost like some rich dumbass decided to offer himself up as the target for these wannabe kidnappers. Distract them from the Diamond District bozos but putting himself in front of the barrel.”
Tim’s lip quirks as he peels back his lashes, finding Jason’s pointed glare. “Just your regular heroic citizen, officer,” he slurs, and turns his gaze back up to the night sky. Heat ripples down his leftside ribs, flaring at the epicentre of his bicep when Jason turns the wound there into the dim lighting. “They get the kidnappers?”
“Bagged and tagged by the Original,” Jason confirms, upturning a packet of single serve disinfectant into Tim’s bullet wound. He hisses his displeasure, but Jason doesn’t seem particularly sympathetic. “You jumped in front of a gun,” he reminds the prone man, “you don’t get to complain about some light bruising.”
“I took a bullet,” Tim protests.
“Two,” Jason growls, and there’s a note of concern there that makes Tim’s lips curl in a grin.
Jason lifts the gauze to his teeth, tearing back the strip with rigorous, tight movement until he bends to cinch it around Tim’s bicep.
“That’s kind of hot,” Tim mumbles, and Jason looks at him incredulously, cinching a perfect knot. It makes Tim’s arm spike with agony, and then the pressure sets in and smooths it out to blessed numbness.
“You’re delirious,” Jason retorts with thin amusement. “How much blood did you lose?”
“Two bullets worth,” Tim slurs, and lifts his arm to give Jason better access to his ribs. The vigilante wastes no time in retrieving the gauze to wrap around his middle, bending over Tim’s chest to pass it behind his back. The sirens are getting closer.
Tim gives him a lazily grin as he adjusts the wrap over the wound, brow knitted in concentration where it hovers above Tim’s lips.
“Do I get a kiss?” he asks softly, quiet enough that any milling spectators won’t pick them up. Jason gives him a chastising look, and Tim returns it. “I took two bullets. I think that deserves at least two kisses.”
“I’ll let the paramedics know,” Jason scoffs, cinching the gauze off, pressed tight around his ribs.
“Hood,” Tim whines.
“Mister Drake,” Jason replies pointedly, and Tim resists the urge to pout, slumping back with a sigh. “I don’t kiss spectators. I’m married to Red Robin. What would the public think of my scandalously making out with my latest rescuee. At Wayne Gala, no less?”
“I’d be down for a threesome with Red Robin,” Tim chirps back, and that gets him a genuine, mirthful laugh this time. He smiles up as Jason sits back, packing up his medical supplies as the ambulance screeches to a halt on the pavement a few feet up from where Tim’s sprawled.
“I’ll be sure to broach the subject with him,” Jason retorts scathingly, and glances up when the paramedics come pouring out of the vehicle. In the midst of the commotion, he reaches down and squeezes Tim’s palm, tight and concerned as he adds lowly, hesitantly, “I’ll see you at home. Be safe.”
“That’s my line, Hood,” Tim replies as Jason pushes to his feet, but Jason’s smile is swallowed up by that impassive helmet as he lets the paramedics through. He doesn’t say anything more, but he thinks Jason reads the promise, the apology, - I love you - in his gaze as he fires a grapnel line and sweeps away from the crime scene.
You can send me a prompt here!
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