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becomingbts · 1 year

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Time Heals (sometimes) - 24

Summary: 6 years ago, (Y/N) thought that she was finally taking her life into her hands, leaving behind a toxic and abusive relationship with a man who taught her she’d never be worthy of love. However, it became hard to ignore his words when she met her seven soulmates, who rejected her without even giving her a chance to prove herself. It took (Y/N) 3 years to realize that it wouldn’t be her end. She would live on to prove them all wrong; she would become what they all thought she wasn’t: someone worthy of love. And as she stands proudly on the stage, under the burning spotlights, the applause and the cries of the delirious crowd, she feels alive. Alive, just like the bond she had believed to be broken.

Around 3.8k

Pairings: Y/N (fem) x OT7

Genre: Soulmate AU!, Idol Y/NAU!, semi social-media AU!, ANGST (mainly), fluff, romance, maybe smut in the series, NSFW.

Taglist closed!

Warnings: Mention of death, almost murder attempt, a lot of blaming, tears, ANGST.

Part 23 - here - Part 25

It had been a while since she had tasted the metallic liquid in her mouth. She had not even noticed that her teeth had pierced the skin of her lips, but the bitter aftertaste did not leave any doubt that she injured herself, even lightly.

Raya didn't cry, she had no strength left to cry. Panting heavily, she stared at the almost lifeless body of her sister. It made her wonder what the fuck she was doing with her life. She felt like she had just hit a wall and not a small one at that. What would happen to her now? Or maybe she should ask: what about them now... Since no one dissociated the two sisters once they learned about their relationship. Why did she have to carry the burden of the crimes of a sister who never felt like one? The words of her friend—could she still call her a friend, though—echoed in her mind, leaving scars that would probably never heal properly.

"Did you ever care for me as a person, or was it an opportunity to soothe the guilt you felt because of your sister’s doings?"

Raya had wanted to yell at her, to tell her she had never thought of it that way. How could she ever think something like that? Yet at the same time, as much as she didn’t want to admit it, Raya knew that there was some truth in (Y/N)’s words. It hadn’t been the only thing that had pushed her to help, of course. Guilt was a strong emotion, but it wouldn't have been enough to push her to help create a medical bond. There was so much more to take into consideration. So many things had happened, and so many feelings were burning in her body. She still could remember how (Y/N)'s bond had been calling for help, almost enthralling every single soul, compelling their bodies to move in her direction and help her. But would it make it any better if Raya told her what she had felt? That her body had almost moved before her own consciousness could come to a conclusion? If she spoke about that day through a medical lens? Wouldn't it sound even worse? She sighed, afraid of the answer. She could have told (Y/N) a billion things, but out of everything, she had decided to stay silent. Her voice had been caught in her throat, unable to utter a sound after the panic had won over her body. Her eyes had avoided (Y/N)’s, but the dry chuckle she heard left little to no doubt about the reaction of her friend. She had only been able to speak afterward, and those words had been enough to set (Y/N) off.

“Why did you even go to their meeting? Can’t believe you’re that naive.”

It was evident that she had hurt (Y/N) beyond imagination. She had not been able to believe herself when she had spoken so cruelly, not thinking before the words had already escaped her. She had tried to make it better, to ask her to wait, not to leave the room before she could explain better, but (Y/N) had only turned around, telling her not to bother before she left without another word. She had deserved it to be fair. She had stuttered, thoughts jumbling together, and ended up saying the wrong things. She had felt cornered and betrayed when (Y/N) had asked her for the truth. So after all these years, all it took was one conversation with them for (Y/N) to be angry at her? After everything she did for her, their side of the story impacted her that much? Maybe she had been naive to think that her best friend would have wanted her side of her story too, instead of throwing accusations as if she had already made up her mind about the truth. They were (Y/N)’s soulmate, of course, she was at a disadvantage in the argument.

Her anger did not prevent guilt from flooding her mind. Raya groaned, annoyed at herself.

“I never told you it was me, you came to that conclusion by yourself.”

The audacity she had to look into (Y/N)’s eyes and tell her that still baffled her. Maybe she had been angry about the whole argument. She couldn’t control her emotion, that was something. But to tell (Y/N) that kind of thing… She had known it would hurt her. Raya had felt defensive, and hurt that her friend would be so angry at her for helping. However, it couldn’t explain why she had felt the need to hit back, throwing words she had known would be hard to swallow. Raya threw her head into her hands, growing. Did she have to say those words?

Anger did not explain why she behaved that way. Raya pinched her lips. Jealousy was a terrible disease, it seemed. She almost laughed darkly at the thought. Raya had always been a rather jealous person. First, of her sister. Then of a bond linking eight people together. Then of (Y/N) with how easily she gained fans and popularity. Then lastly with (Y/N)’s soulmates. How could they be so lucky to have been gifted (Y/N) as a soulmate, reject her, and get a second chance? Why couldn’t it have been her? Was she not loyal enough, not caring enough? She had given (Y/N), Moon, everything she had to offer. Had that been too little?

She had foolishly hoped that it would have been something, that it would have changed something with her fate. When her own soulmate died, Raya firmly believed that if she ever were to get another chance at love, it would be from someone who also lost their soulmate. And (Y/N) looked like a gift from the stars. After everything she had gone through, Raya had found her person. A precious woman who would rather die than betray her. (Y/N) had been a broken soul when they met, yet that had not altered the strong personality she had. She was generous, loving, and giving… Raya believed she had never met someone who cared so much for her. After all those years of living in her sister’s shadow, someone finally saw her for herself, not as someone’s sister or someone’s daughter. She had found someone who loved her, who cooked for her, who took random selfies with her, who confided in her and she did the same in exchange. (Y/N) had lost her soulmates, severed the bond, and covered the mark with a tattoo. Had that not been an explicit enough sign that she would never return to them? Had that not been enough for her to start believing that maybe one day, once (Y/N) healed, they could have a future together?

Raya had been too naive, it seemed. Snorting, she realized how strongly she had believed that maybe one day, they could have had their happy ending together. She had believed that she would always remain by her side. Maybe she had been too hopeful, thinking that she had a chance just because she had believed that (Y/N)’s bond was no longer a threat. Could she ever beat the link one feels with their soulmate? She probably couldn’t. The only thing she had left was…

That abomination of a sister.

The one who took everything from her and whose lifeless body felt like it would take Raya’s soul to her grave with her. She wanted to scream, to yell, to destroy something, and for a short second, her mind wandered to dangerous edges.

How long would it take for her sister to die if she were to strangulate her?

The thought almost amused her. As a nurse, she could find very creative ways to participate in her sister’s demise, why had she bothered so long with that living corpse? Would (Y/N) forgive her if she were to kill the one who almost killed one of her soulmates? The idea felt too enticing. Her sister was so unresponsive, it would almost be too easy to do something, anything to put her out of her misery. She would just need to put her hands around the pale neck of her sister, and apply pressure-

Her mind suddenly quietened, dangerously silent, while her body froze.

Raya jumped back, hands leaving quickly the throat of her sister before she could do anything; before she could leave any mark. She had not even realized that her hands had moved, that she had actually followed her thoughts and acted upon them, but her body had moved before she could get a hold of herself. She panted, breathing heavily and irregularly as she shivered with terror. What had she been about to do? She was a nurse. She was supposed to save lives, and take care of people, not use her medical knowledge and access to patients with physical weaknesses to endanger them. What the hell just went through her mind to go that far? She had barely touched her sister’s skin but it had already been too much. What if anyone had seen her? What would have happened if she had done it? Raya stuttered back into her chair with trembling hands. Tears rolled down her cheeks while she tried to calm herself down. She had almost done the unthinkable. She had not done anything, thankfully, but the way her body had moved terrified her. She had been perfectly silent, almost as if she had expected a yell from her sister. She needed to compose herself. She tried to repeat to herself that she had not done anything, and her hands did not apply any kind of pressure. That had only been in her head. The rest had not happened. What was left of her sister was very much alive. Raya gritted her teeth. She hated her with everything she had but it was not a reason for her behavior. What else was she capable of?

A silent pair of eyes suddenly had settled on her, void and empty, yet strangely focused. However, Raya never noticed them, too overwhelmed by what almost happened.

Take one step forward, take two steps back.

That was exactly how Jungkook felt once (Y/N) disappeared into her room and did not come out of it the next day. It had felt so soothing to be able to be there for her, for his presence to alleviate the pain, even if it wasn’t much. He had hoped that maybe it would lead to more. Not a lot, just more of them as a unit. However, it did not. Or at least, not as of now. (Y/N) was nowhere to be seen. Jungkook knew that she was inside. Her shoes and her coat were there; everything was left untouched. Jungkook wanted to knock on her door, to ask her if she needed anything, yet somehow, he didn’t think that it would be appreciated if he did. Maybe he needed to wait for her to come back to him, just like she did the day before. (Y/N) probably needed to think over everything, breathe, and focus on herself for a little.

Jungkook could understand, he truly didn’t mind. He just wished there was something he could do to help. He cooked breakfast even if she didn’t show up. He believed that maybe if he left it on the table and disappeared, she would come out to at least eat. However, she didn’t. Her breakfast was still on the table, her tea had gone cold, and maybe his hopes dropped a bit at the sight. He knew that he should be disappointed, yet he couldn’t help the sigh that escaped him. Maybe he should have knocked on her door to at least let her know that he had prepared breakfast for her, but he didn’t feel like it was something he was authorized to do, for some reason.

It was dreadfully silent, almost deafeningly. Jungkook could hear his own heart thumping painfully, his head hurt a little at the feeling. He lay down slowly, huffing a bit in annoyance at his own weakness. He knew his body was just seeking his soulmate. Yet, even if this reaction got him closer to her in the first place, he couldn’t help but wish to regain his autonomy. He didn’t feel trapped, but he knew that he was still required to stay here. Not only because his body told him to, but because he knew that the health of his soulmate also depended on him. Hence, even if he had not been brought here forcefully, he still felt the pressure on his shoulders.

Jungkook tried to shake those worries away, after all, he wasn’t the only one in this situation, (Y/N) was also in this condition. His health was also her responsibility, as much as he despised the idea of imposing himself in her life. It was still the reality of their situation. One couldn’t go too far from the other without hurting them. She had a decision to make with the others, though he didn’t want to disturb her, he knew that his presence was already too much, so how would she accept to be part of their lives?

Jungkook hoped, he desperately hoped that she would choose them. He truly wanted to whine and tell her that she could take all the time that she needed as long as she came to them one day but he knew better than to let his selfish self act up. The whole Raya thing was a bit deal for her, she was probably overwhelmed. Jungkook couldn’t expect an answer so soon, even if he was craving to hear acceptance from the lips of his soulmate. Maybe it was also his bond speaking. Since his body was aching because of the distance from his soulmate, his mind was trying to find other means of comfort, and other links to her, however, those links didn’t exist. She wasn’t staying with them, they weren’t living a comfortable and happy life of a bonded group. His mind and body were tired. Jungkook was tired, and in his foggy state of mind, the only thing he wished for was to curl up close to his soulmates. And all of them preferably.

Jungkook groaned, knowing it wasn’t possible. Resting an arm over his eyes, he tried to calm down, maybe he could take a short nap. It would maybe clear his ideas and help him with his overall exhaustion. Alas, his phone rang loudly next to him. Not moving, Jungkook didn’t take the call, letting the ringtone echo in the room. He sighed softly when it stopped and sighed, annoyed when the phone rang again a few seconds after.

Jungkook turned on himself, reaching for his phone as he saw Jimin’s name on the screen.

“Hyung, what do you want.” Alright, maybe there were other ways to greet his soulmate, but he was annoyed and tired. Jungkook just wanted to nap, for fuck’s sake. He wasn’t asking for the moon, was he now?

“I’m… glad that you miss me, I miss you too.” Jungkook chuckled at Jimin’s dry answer, “and to say that I stopped my game to call you just because your bond was pulling. Ungrateful brat.” Jungkook’s eyes opened slightly at that, and a small smile gently crept up on his face.

“I do miss you, m’ sorry. I was trying to nap, but my mind can’t seem to shut the fuck up, and then you called so I snapped at you. I shouldn’t have, though, sorry.” It got silent on the other side, and for a second, Jungkook wondered if Jimin had hung up on him.

“Wow, Jeon Jungkook recognizing that he is wrong? Without bickering first? What happened, are you alright? Wait, are you even Jungkook?” Well, maybe Jimin did deserve the previous greeting Jungkook offered because the younger man really wanted to just hang up.

“Fuck you.”

“Oh my, you sure are snappy today. What a charming prince you are, dear soulmate.” Jungkook groaned again.

“Why are you calling, it sure can’t be the only reason.” Jimin chuckled at those words, knowing that he was caught right from the beginning.

“Can’t hide anything from you, can I? I wanted to ask you if you wanted me to come, or to meet somewhere. I can feel your anxiety and it’s stressing Yoongi-hyung. Although he told us he was fine, he’s clearly uneasy, you know hyung.” Oh, he definitely knew his hyung, trying to give everyone the space they needed to neglect his needs in the process. It was a habit that the six of them were trying to erase. It wasn’t easy, after all, habits die hard, and Yoongi was a stubborn person. But they wouldn’t give up on trying to make him speak up about his needs and wants.

“I’ll… I’ll ask (Y/N) about it. I don’t know if she’ll be fine with you coming though…” He knew he sounded obviously suspicious, being that vague, but Jungkook wasn’t sure about what was happening between him and (Y/N). He didn’t have any other way to put it without crossing lines. Jimin noticed it instantly, sighing softly on the phone.

“Is she okay?” Jungkook looked at the ground, unsure how to reply. There wasn’t a good answer to this question, he thought.

“I’m not sure. She hasn’t come out of her room since yesterday after we shared a slice of lemon cake.” Jungkook was too nervous about the whole situation to wonder about Jimin’s silence.

“You made a lemon cake for her?” Jimin was obviously baffled, not mad, maybe a bit unsure, but certainly not mad. It took Jungkook a while to understand why his soulmate sounded so surprised, but once he pieced the puzzle together, he grinned softly.

“Ah, I promise next time I’ll make sure everyone’s here to have some. Though, hyung… It’s funny, it’s also (Y/N)’s favorite cake.” Jugnkook whispered, almost giddy at the information. It was not something the media was aware of, nor information that fans had. It was a little something just between them, and the fact that everyone’s favorite cake from Jungkook was a lemon cake, made him happy. It was stupid, really. Just a little detail but somehow, it made him feel as if destiny had not messed up fully. As if, indeed, (Y/N) had always been there to fit in. Maybe he was looking at that with too much sentimentality. He shouldn’t get that excited over cake preferences, and yet he couldn’t find it in himself to stop the blooming feeling in his chest. It didn’t remove his uneasiness, but he definitely felt his cheeks warm up at the thought.

“It’s her favorite? Really?” There was a short pause before he continued, “that was unexpected.” Jungkook heard the implications of Jimin’s words, even if the older man didn’t say it: she’s just like us. He thought about it too, after all.

“Yeah, I was surprised too, but it’s cute. Somehow, it fits us. It feels like home, in a way.” Jungkook didn’t hear Jimin’s sharp intake of breath, too caught up in his own little world, yet Jimin’s voice brought him back to Earth without a warning.

“I do understand what you mean, but I don’t think you should imagine stuff like that…” Jimin murmured while Jungkook froze, “I understand, trust me I do. I wish it could be our home too, that she could be part of what we call home, but we don’t… We can’t, not as long as she didn’t take a decision. Yoongi-hyung was right about that, and we both know it. I think, deep down, we all do. I don’t want you to hurt yourself more than you already did.” Jimin was looking after him, he knew that, but he couldn’t help the defeated sigh that left his lips. He wished everything could just be easier for them. Hadn’t they suffered enough?

“I know…” Neither of them said a word, their bond was enough to understand each other without speaking more than that. Disappointment and hopelessness were easily shared through their connection, and Jimin decided that it was enough. Maybe he couldn’t do much about (Y/N) without being invasive and insensitive, but Jungkook… Jungkook, maybe he could help him, at least.

“Ask (Y/N) about me coming to see you, okay? Send a message and I’ll come wherever you want us to meet.” Jungkook nodded with a small smile despite Jimin’s inability to see him.

“I will, see you, hyung.” Jungkook didn’t want to move from his position, yet as he put his phone down, his feet led him in front of the door he had wanted to knock on for the past few hours. He looked at it, almost nervous, before gently knocking three times. He truly hoped that she was awake and that he wasn’t disturbing her. He could have sent a message, maybe it would have been easier. Yet, while he started overthinking, the door cracked open, and (Y/N)’s pale face appeared on the threshold. She didn’t utter a word, questioning Jungkook silently as she watched cautiously his every move.

For a second, he wished he could be swallowed by the ground.

“Hey, uh… I’m sorry if I woke you up…” She blinked a few times at his words, as if trying to process what he just said.

“I was awake. No worries.” Her voice sounded empty, disconnected from reality. Jungkook flinched ever so slightly, worried about her but not knowing if it was his place to ask.

“I know it’s probably not the right moment to ask this, but would you mind if Jimin were to come here to spend some time with me? You don’t have to join us, I just…” Jungkook wondered why he saw a glint of guilt in her eyes as he talked. Maybe she had noticed that he was desperate for some comfort from his soulmates and she had denied him without really meaning to. She had not been set on avoiding him, and yet, she had disappeared in her room, leaving little chances for him to find comfort in her presence, or lack thereof. Maybe it was that same guilt that pushed her to agree with a silent nod, retrieving to her room without noise while the door closed again.

Jungkook sighed, taking his phone back in his hands before texting Jimin the address.

God, he wished everything was easier.

Taglist closed!

Uploaded : 16/02/2023

Taglist: @sweetmoonlight9, @mickmoon, @dreamer95, @loveyoongles, @spicetouched, @jikooksgirl19, @summerevelyn, @springjade, @clevercoley, @prooteus, @sehun096rainbow, @ainsle-e, @ifyouareme, @sunshinee0-0, @fangirl125reader, @sea-nevermind-enthusiast, @ot-atlas, @thequeen-kat, @skyys-universe, @sichajeon , @yukiehyukie, @amxranthinesworld , @potate-oh, @mawwnsterr, @ celaenaelentiyavox, @dvoz-writes, @honeybaby-94, @ignixte, @ paradiseanouk, @missseoulite, @naajix, @maloriekane, @bunzom, @nyamnomnamujoon , @incorrect-assumptions, @hopetookmysoul, @010op10, @seaoffangirling, @purplelady85, @daddyjoonie, @ramaali1, @powiepow, @chimchoom, @miriamguerra99 , @midnight1199, @wannabestark, @fangirl125reader, @hannahdinse8, @powiepow , @ilovjaehyun, @wt-fxck, @louisavuittonswrld, @lochness-butmakeitsexy, @squishymochiuwu, @yukiehyukie, @daydreambrliever, @fangirl125reader, @deathkat657 , @reallysparklychaos, @irony-of-living, @scentedsope, @kim-jias-den, @honeyspillings , @tinyoonsblog, @kawaiikpoplover268 , @leahknox, @aliceoracleollormusic, @welcometomyworld13, @sinareyes52, @hemmofluke , @grazysf, @reichan18, @lotustv,

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darkjimxn · 19 days

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The Crab Cult || PJM

Summary: a new year of university has begun, but the crab cult remains the same as it's always been.

Pairing: archmajor!Jimin x archmajor!reader

Genre: university au, smau, crack

Warnings: none

A/N: why am I obsessed with Jimin's pfp?

Masterlist || Profiles || Chapter 1

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heottokes · 7 months

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𝐚𝐜𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐞. 62. say yes

acquiesce v. to accept something reluctantly but without protest. two strangers are trying to rewrite their story that was already written for them but to do that they need each other. yoongi needs y/n to keep his only dream alive and y/n needs yoongi to keep her secret hidden. so the two strangers form an unlikely alliance of playing pretend.

word count: 1.4k

꒰ m.list ➭ before ꒱

Yoongi’s grandfather welcomes you to his home warmly. The house was quiet unlike the first and last time you visited. You followed him outside where he was sitting before you came over. A half played baduk laid out on the floor. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” He asks as he sits back down. He gestures for you to sit across from him, and you follow while Yoongi sits in between the two of you.

“We wanted to visit you before we make our summer break plans.” Yoongi explains. His grandfather only nods as he continues the game. He moves his piece and gestures for your turn. As you contemplate your move, Yoongi continues. “Did you hear? About Jack Trader?” His grandfather hums while watching your move. “Did you have anything to do with it?”

You both turn your attention to Yoongi. You look at him with shock and confusion at his insinuation. His grandfather laughs. “Why do you think I would have anything to do with it?”

“He has managed to get away with it for this long. Bribing and extorting his way out of it. All of a sudden, he resigns. And there’s a whistleblower coming forward that’s not going to be silenced?”

Yoongi’s grandfather makes his next move and crosses his arms. “And if I did have something to do with it?”

You pause seeing Yoongi’s apprehension. “Why would you do that?” He sighs frustrated. “I didn’t ask you to do that, and I don’t want to owe you anymore than I already do.”

“The moment I met y/n, your debt to me was gone.” Yoongi’s shoulders relax and a look of shock covers his face. “The moment I knew you were willing to give up your dreams for her sake, I knew it was love.” Yoongi couldn’t help the blush that took over his face. You smile sheepishly as well. “I would have done anything for your grandmother; the love of my life. She always wanted to me retire early and travel with her. I wanted to keep working even though I love her. I eventually did and we spent time together like we always talked about. But now she’s gone, I realised I didn’t leave enough time.” His voice was soft and melancholic. His gaze somewhere far away. “How can I hold it against you when it was for love?” The words Yoongi wanted to say didn’t come out. He grew up knowing his grandfather as the toughest person he knew. Harsher and colder than his parents. Unforgiving and unrelenting. He never gave special treatment. He never bent the rules. Yoongi grew up disappointing him. He wanted Yoongi to continue as his father’s heir. Follow through the family business. When Yoongi asked for his help, he wasn’t surprised when he asked for what he would get in return, once a businessman always a businessman. It didn’t surprise Yoongi when he said he wanted him to intern under his father so he could take over the business. But now, he’s changed his mind? No, he has a change of heart. Yoongi finds it hard to believe. “I don’t want to have any more regrets when it comes to you, Yoongi.” His grandfather continues seemingly reading his mind. “I don’t want to ruin any more of my relationships. I don’t want to only leave my money and business behind. I don’t want you to live a life you don’t want.” Yoongi tears up at how his grandfather speaks about his life. How he acknowledges his limited time.

“Thank you; for everything.” The two hug for the first time in a long time.

━━━☆

“So now that we’re all graduated, what’s next?” Namjoon asks the group. After the graduation ceremony, everyone celebrated with their own classmates. Then, celebrated with their families after. The entire group only had time to meet up a couple of weeks after. “I got a job with a not-for-profit that focuses on mental health issues.”

“That’s so cool, Joon!” Adora commends Namjoon as did everyone else.

“I already signed with a label.” Hyewon says not surprising anyone. Everyone congratulated her as she raised her beer as a thanks.

You all sat in a circle on foldable chairs. The sea breeze refreshing as you dig your feet in the sand. The small bonfire is the main source of light. “Hobi hooked us up under his parents’ label.” Jungkook answered.

“I already booked some gigs for magazines and fashion week.” Taehyung informed proudly.

“I’m shadowing my dad for a couple months before I get an official position in his company.” Jin says. “What about you two?” Jin directs the question to you and Yoongi who are the last ones to answer.

Everyone went around talking about their plans and futures, but you stayed quiet. You hadn’t thought about it. Your parents most likely already planned for you to work with them. Yoongi hadn’t told you his plans either. “Paris,”

“Paris?” You and the entire group repeated Yoongi’s answer in shock.

He looks at you with a boyish smile. “Wanna go to Paris?” You were flustered and butterflies swirled around in your stomach. “I know, we haven’t discussed it, but we should get away just the two of us. Before we get busy with this new chapter of our lives.” You couldn’t contain your smile ignoring everyone’s comments about the romance. “What do you say?”

“Yes,”

━━━☆

“I never thought I would be in Paris.” You sigh dreamily as you look at the city lights.

“Jin mentioned you wanted to take Joon here when we got back from our trip. Sorry, you’re here with me instead.” You laughed at his apology.

“Are you kidding?” You close the distance between the two of you and lay your hand on his chest. “There’s no one else I’d rather be here with than you. I just meant Joon would appreciate this city.” He hums placing his hand on top of yours. “I can’t believe you still remember that. That was like three years ago?”

“I remember everything about you.” Your heart swells at his affection. You couldn’t help but think about how far the two of you have come. From sitting awkwardly across each other, plotting your lies and forced interest to sitting on a balcony overlooking the Eiffel Tower and confessing your mutual love for each other like it was the first time. “What are your plans when we get back?”

You sigh replacing your hand on his chest with your head. He wraps his arm around you, and you take in the scenery in front of you. “I don’t know. I’m surprised my parents haven’t told me what my plans are.” You chuckle at their odd behaviour. Did they have a change of heart like Yoongi’s grandfather? You didn’t want to even entertain the idea and give you a gleam of hope. But if they did, you didn’t know where you would start. Going back to esreservations was not an option. You will keep in touch with Hyori, but you don’t want to put yourself and the people you care about in danger again. “What about you?”

“I still have until the end of this year until the lease on my studio is up. Probably work on new music, release and promote it, and get signed by a label.” You nod solemnly. Everyone knows what they’re doing but you. As if he read your thoughts, Yoongi squeezed your shoulder. You look up at him and he gives you a smile. “Let’s call your parents tomorrow, ask them if they have any plans for you. If they do, we can talk about if you want to do it.” You laugh at the idea. Saying no to your parents? That would be a first. “If they don’t, then we’ll figure it out together.”

“That sounds nice.” For once in your life, you made a decision for yourself. You outweighed the risks against the benefits and took a leap of faith. For once, you didn’t have a plan. You broke the rules. You went against everything you knew and believed in. It turned out to be the best thing you ever did. Because of it, you met Yoongi. You found your people and made unbreakable bonds with them. Because of it, you are in love and are experiencing moments to remember for the rest of your life. Because of it, you know there is no need to worry. The best things come without any plan or calculation. The best things will come if you let it and say yes. The best things will come because it was always meant to be.

[a/n] ok here it is! the epilogues are out so this means the completed end to acquiesce for good. not sure if anyone will catch onto the callbacks from the previous chapters but if you do, you're amazing :O

thank you so much for reading my series (i know i say this all the time but it is because i truly mean it from the bottom of my heart). i appreciate every single show of love for my writing. love you all and hope you enjoyed this series

꒰ m.list ➭ before ꒱

taglist: @deleteidentity || @themoonsblueside || @potatoandfries || @therapysides || @cursedcursives

#bts sm au #bts fluff #suga fluff #bts #yoongi #suga #bts x reader #suga x reader #yoongi x reader #bts angst #yoongi angst #suga angst #bts social media au #min yoongi #min yoongi fluff #min yoongi angst #d.writes #x

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apotatomashedbybts · 3 months

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[Character Moodboards]

Min Yoongi

Graduated from SNU with a major in Music.

Four years older than Jimin.

Unwilling member of the Seoul Drug Cartel, The Hwanggeum.

Smokes when he loses his calm.

Likes everything that is black, sometimes white too.

Generally avoids people but is good when he HAS to interact.

———

Park Jimin

A sweetheart.

First year at SNU in Literature major.

Likes everything that is pastel and cute.

Tends to overthink.

Lost his parents in an accident when he was 3years old.

Best friends with Taehyung since High School.

Taehyung's parents adopted Jimin, so technically Taehyung and Jimin are brothers.

———

Kim Taehyung

Thinks himself a professional detective.

First year at SNU in Criminology major.

Loves Sherlock Holmes.

He sniffs out mystery in everything.

If it isn't his problem, he'll make it his problem.

Emotional support, best friend and brother of Jimin.

———

Kim Seokjin

Last year at SNU in Photography major.

Rich af.

Campus heartthrob.

Often does foodblogging.

So smart that Criminology majors wanted him to switch majors.

Crushes on Namjoon but is scared to tell him.

Roommates with Jimin.

Former roommate of Hoseok.

———

Kim Namjoon

Last year at SNU in Literature major.

Loves reading.

Optimistic (most of the time).

Works as a part-time librarian assistant at the College Library.

Has a crush on Seokjin since first year but thinks Seokjin doesn't even know him. (Not so optimistic here.)

———

Jung Hoseok

Second year at SNU in Performing Arts major.

Loves dancing and partying.

Another campus heartthrob.

Somehow knows every dorm residents of the university.

Won't hesitate to tell you to fuck off or you suck.

His cousin is Jungkook.

———

Jeon Jungkook

First year at SNU in Photography major.

Loves partying.

Will benchpress you if you take his food.

Strong af.

Won't agree but he loves his Jin hyung.

Roommates with Taehyung.

-----

[Prologue]

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vminity21 · 1 year

Text

Chapter 11: Rock Hard Chest to Poke - Tails of Love | pjm

- Bangtan meets the Veterinary World -

Warning(s): profanity, mention of sex, mention of alcohol/hang over

Tag list: @ficlibrarie , @emwy11 , @yoonoclock , @gukniverse , @theceraunophilegirl 💜💫

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katnisspeetaprim · 9 months

Text

Part of the Always, Us series

A.N. So I thought this would just be a super cute idea to do this! I will probably write an actual one shot for the wedding day soon!

M.list

#Bts #Bts x reader #Imagine #One shot #Scenario #Reaction #Drabble #Smut #Fluff #Angst #Kim seokjin #Min yoongi #Jung hoseok #Kim namjoon #Park jimin #Kim taehyuhg #Jeon jungkook #Idol!au #Social media au

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jsmaux · 10 months

Text

Tattoo Parlour x Flower Shop Jungkook Au

in which jungkook is an up and coming tattoo artist, constantly expanding his portfolio with his 3 friends, and yn has finally managed to open her first flower shop after years of dreaming about it. what will happen when he moves into the studio next door?

send an ask to be put on the tag list!

masterlist x

0.5 yns friends

0.5 jungkooks friends

1. it’s finally happening

2. i love my job

3. i’m in love

4. n e ways

authors note - PLEASE READ!

5. tba…

6. tba…

7. tba…

8. tba…

9. tba…

10. tba…

tba…

#bts social media au #bts #smau #social media au #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #jeon jungkook #min yoongi #park jimin #kim taehyung #jung hoseok #jhope #yoongi #jungkook #namjoon #jimin #taehyung #jin

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hxseok-honee · 2 years

Text

sundress || part 33.5 [smut]

sundress [part 33.5] || “I love you”

previous || masterlist || next

a/n : [baby you’re so anxious, you can’t take it // can we take this off and get naked?] naked x doja cat

ahem,,,, welcome to my first ever smut???? minors DNI????

taglist :

@deepseavibez @thetrueghostqueen @reddeathraven @sopebubbles-replies @skyrro @unadulteratedlyunique @ramyagovindraj @itismochirice @wwhseokjin @drpepperobsessed @monamone @thekookiecorner @army-moa75 @burningupp @lele-bb @pb-n-juju @red-kebab @heonsbebe @peachyyoongs @superloverpielamp @marifujioka @butterflylion @heyitsgigi @lochness-butmakeitsexy @miki-chi @cahowlkook @worshiphoseok @lilacdreams-00 @bongsbeforebibles @miriamxsworld @oasiswithmyg @peonyplace @annewrighthglc @calling-dips-on-j-hope @yoongiofmine @loveyoongles @instantspot @missmadwoman @x-xjaeminx-x @luvtaeha @vanillxangxl @renhold-nightspear @taeshuworld @lvrseok @supahumbreon @a-noona-mous @echointhelibrary @secretlycrazyhummingbird @simpinforyoongi @ireallylikeyourwriting

___________________________________

Thursday, 10 February, 12:14pm

“We should have sex-”

“Good fucking lord, I’m going to pass out.”

Yoongi paces the room, running his hands through his hair and tugging on the front of his uniform, trying to get some form of cool air circulating around his body. He stops short, yanking his phone from his pocket and opening the text thread with Y/n again.

Nope, it’s definitely still there. That one pesky message - Y/n proposing that they have sex. That they finally cross the biggest line they’d drawn when this had all started. The thought sets his nerves alight all over again, and he’s shoving his phone back into his pocket like he isn’t going to repeat this process after two more minutes of pacing.

“It’s fine, everything’s fine. Just calm the fuck down, it’s not a big deal. Just-”

Just your childhood best friend admitting that she wants to have sex with you.

Yoongi groans, throwing his head back as his thoughts keep him from relaxing. He has no idea why he’s this nervous. Well- no, he definitely knows. He knows it’s because it’s her. He knows that, if she were anyone else, he wouldn’t feel so affected. He knows that, if she actually does want this, he’s probably going to have a meltdown. Just the simple thought of having sex with Y/n makes his brain stall and his heart flip dangerously. What’s he supposed to do if she actually comes up here, if she actually follows him up from lunch? How’s he supposed to make it through-

The door creaks open behind him, and he spins around so fast that he almost trips and falls. Y/n’s standing at the door, one hand on the knob as she peers nervously over at him.

They just stare at each other, the air between them thick with tension, and Yoongi feels like he probably should say something to lighten the mood. But as he’s opening his mouth to crack a stupid joke, his mind flashes back to what this moment might lead to. Back to every time this moment has crossed his mind, every painfully vivid dream he’s had about this. Every time he’s come so close to going too far, every time he’s almost admitted how much he wants her. How much he thinks about her at night and - embarrassing as it might be - how he uses his alone time in the shower.

He knows she hasn’t been ready for this, that the idea of sleeping with him has overwhelmed her until now. It hasn’t been an option for them… but now it is. Now it is an option for them, and he honestly has no idea how he’s supposed to process that.

“Yoongi…?”

Yoongi blinks, coming out of his thoughts and focusing on the girl that occupies them, day and night.

Y/n’s closed the door behind her and is standing in front of it, watching him anxiously. She smiles shyly when he meets her eyes.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to…”

Yoongi’s eyes widen, and he shakes his head frantically, moving toward her.

“No- No… Sorry, I was just… lost in my head. But…” He stops in front of her, eyes flitting around her face, searching for any sign of hesitation. Any indication that she might not be ready for this.

He doesn’t find one.

“Are you sure that… I mean, do you really want this…? I don’t want you to do something you might regret later…”

At his words, Y/n relaxes visibly, a smile of relief tugging at her lips. Of course he was just worried about her.

“I thought you were the one having second thoughts…”

Yoongi grins, overcome with adoration for this girl in front of him. He steps in, shaking his head as he takes her face in his hands. When he lays his lips on hers, he feels the tingle that shoots down his spine. And he knows she feels it too when she inhales sharply, her fingers coming up to rest on the belt loops of his slacks.

They don’t go any further than that, Yoongi pulling back to examine her. She only stares back, face warming shyly the longer he looks at her. Shaking her head in bemusement, she smiles at him.

“What are you thinking about?”

He stares a moment longer, trying to come up with something to say - anything that will reassure her that he wants this as much as she does. But all he can think about is how she would look underneath him, and he can feel himself becoming embarrassingly hard at the thought. So instead he says-

“I just… don’t know if I’m going to be able to hold back if we do this…”

Well… it’s not what he’d meant to say, but it seems to do the trick. Because he watches as Y/n’s gaze loses its innocence, leaving nothing but desire in her eyes as they drop to his lips.

“You expect me to have a problem with that?”

There’s a moment of nothing, one where Yoongi’s just trying to register what she’s saying.

And then, without another word, he’s slipping a hand behind the curve of her neck and pulling her in, smashing his lips to hers. She responds immediately, arms sliding up and around his neck to keep him close. He only steps in, forcing her back against the door as he kisses her with everything he’s got.

He can feel her hands snaking down the front of his shirt and back to his belt loops, but he doesn’t react until she’s pulling his hips flush against hers. A breathy moan leaves him at the contact, and he’s pulling his lips from hers, only to attach his mouth to his favorite spot under her ear.

Reaching up, he cards one hand through her hair, pulling taut. When she moans in his ear, her fingers loosen their hold on him, but Yoongi’s not having it. His other hand slides down to her ass, keeping her pressed against him so she can feel how much she affects him. How hard she makes him.

Y/n feels like her brain is overheating - the sensation of Yoongi’s mouth on her skin as he presses into her is too much, and she’s not totally sure how she’s gonna make it through this if she’s already feeling this needy. It seems like he can maybe sense how she’s losing herself, because he pulls away at that moment. For a second, she thinks he might be giving her a break, but then he’s meeting her eyes, his own gaze burning hot.

“Get on the bed so I can show you who you belong to.”

Y/n’s jaw drops, and Yoongi wants so badly to smile at how cute she is, but he manages to restrain himself, only cocking an eyebrow and waiting for her to do as he says.

She does after a moment, but not before taking the front of his shirt in her hand and pulling him in for another kiss. She walks to the edge of the bed like that, keeping his mouth on hers until the back of her knees are hitting the mattress and she’s forced to let go.

When she bounces down on the bed, she realizes she’s managed to land herself in a very interesting position. Because Yoongi’s towering over her now, meaning she has great access to the quickly growing tent in his pants. She swears she sees it twitch when she stares for just a moment too long.

“See something you like, babygirl?”

Y/n wants to roll her eyes at how corny that line is, but then Yoongi’s taking her chin in his hand, lifting her gaze to meet his. For someone so nervous not even ten minutes ago, he looks extremely confident standing over her like this, like he can make her do anything he wants. The realization that he probably could has warmth pooling in her panties, something that has her face burning.

She only reaches forward in response to his question, never breaking eye contact, and makes quick work of popping the button on his pants. Just as she’s finished pulling the zipper down, however, Yoongi releases her chin, his wrist snapping as he slaps her hand away from where he wants her most.

The resounding crack of his skin on hers has her gasping, and she finds herself pressing her thighs together when he leans down. His other hand comes down on her shoulder, roughly shoving her back on the bed until she’s propped up on her elbows. He presses down into the mattress as he leans over her, his gaze hard.

“You still haven’t learned not to touch me without permission?”

Y/n feels her resolve leaving her - as if she’d had any to begin with - and she whimpers an apology.

“Sorry… I just wanted to-”

“Wanted to what, Y/n? Wanted to touch my cock that bad? Are you that greedy?”

Y/n groans, falling back on the mattress. The way he’s talking to her right now has her nerves on fire, her tummy flipping with butterflies as she watches him glare down at her.

“Yoongi…”

His eyebrow twitches again, and his head tilts to the side. It feels like he’s mocking her, his gaze unwavering and full of fake concern.

“I don’t think you meant to call me that, princess.” His smile is insulting, and Y/n wants nothing more than to open her legs for him. She’s deeply grateful that she’d gone so many years without seeing this side of him - if she’d known he was like this, she’s not sure that she would have been able to resist him.

“Please… Can I touch you, Daddy?”

Yoongi’s smile widens then, and she catches a glimpse of the boy she’s always known. The sweet one who can’t help but be fond when she gives him what he wants.

She hates that it only makes her want him more.

Yoongi jerks his head up toward the top of the bed then, telling her silently to go get comfortable. She scrambles to do as he says, setting her head down on the mattress and spreading her legs to give him space. Her skirt falls up toward the top of her thighs, and she watches as Yoongi’s eyes flick automatically down to her panties. The smirk he shoots her lets her know that he’s seen the wet patch there.

But she doesn’t have time to feel embarrassed, because he’s immediately climbing on top of her, settling in between her legs and caging her in as he leans down to kiss her. His lips are searing hot, and Y/n almost reaches up to hold onto him. But then he’s pulling back and glaring down at her in challenge. She only pouts up at him.

“Please?”

He scoffs, leaning in again and nodding once he’s got his lips on her again. He mumbles a response against her mouth.

“Only because you just can’t seem to keep your hands to yourself.”

Y/n flushes, but it doesn’t stop her from carding her fingers through his hair, nails dragging against his scalp as she does so. He moans into her mouth, giving her the chance to push her tongue past his lips. Yoongi presses his hips into hers in response, and they both moan at the relief it gives them.

Slowly - so slowly that Y/n barely notices - Yoongi shifts just enough that he can pull at the buttons of her shirt. His mouth never leaves hers, not even when he gets the last button and can push the fabric over her shoulders. Y/n helps him get it off of her, and then she helps him again when he reaches behind her and undoes the clasp on her bra with one hand, the garment loosening on her body before she can even realize what’s happening.

She doesn’t have time to process her clothes hitting the floor, because Yoongi’s immediately pulling away from her and dragging his lips down her chest. When he latches onto one of her nipples, his hand coming down to play with the other, Y/n’s back arches, and she moans loudly, not having expected him to move so quickly.

She starts to pull at his shirt, desperate to undress him, but she can’t really do much once Yoongi catches her wrist in his free hand. He pins it to the bed roughly, going so far as to open his eyes and glare at her through his long eyelashes, never once backing away from the attention he’s giving her breasts.

Only when she starts to really squirm under him, not even a few minutes later, does he pull away, staring down at his chest and admiring the way he’s marked her up. Y/n tugs at his shirt again, grumbling under him.

“I swear to god if you don’t let me take these fucking clothes off…”

Yoongi smiles wide, his tough exterior gone because she’s just that endearing, even now. He lifts up to meet her lips again, not saying anything about how she pops the buttons of his shirt impatiently.

As soon as it’s joined her clothes on the floor, she’s reaching between them, pushing at his slacks, still undone from earlier. They slide off of his hips easily, and he kicks them the rest of the way off.

Y/n starts to unzip her skirt, but Yoongi’s quick to stop her, a sheepish grin sent in her direction.

“Keep it on?”

Y/n huffs in disbelief, shaking her head despite the smile on her face.

“You’re something else, you know that? What, you want me to leave my panties on, too?”

It’s a joke, and Yoongi knows it, but that doesn’t stop him from sitting up and resting back on his ankles as he reaches under her skirt. He hooks his fingers into the waistband of her panties, smiling impishly when he sees the way her eyes widen.

“If you wanted me to take them off that bad, you should have just said so, baby.”

Y/n props herself up, her gaze hot as she reaches out and takes the elastic band of Yoongi’s boxers in her hand. He stills, the action making his stomach flip nervously.

“I’m ready if you are, baby.”

She smiles mockingly up at him when she says it, but they can both see the nerves setting into each other’s eyes. The realization that they’re really going to do this.

Yoongi releases her panties, letting his hands drift down to her thighs, where he rubs comforting circles into the skin there. His voice is soft when he speaks.

“Still sure you wanna do this? Because we can stop… if you’re not 100% sure…”

Y/n sits up until she can rise to her knees, matching his height when she runs her hands over his chest and shoulders comfortingly. She nods, smiling at him sweetly.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything… I trust you.”

She always knows just what to say. Yoongi feels his nerves drifting away, and he nods back, letting out a sigh.

“Sorry… I guess I’m just nervous…” He knows she can tell, because he’s playing with the hem of her skirt, pulling at a stray thread to keep his hands busy. He looks her in the eye, an anxious smile tugging at his lips. “You kinda… make me nervous…”

She blinks in surprise then. She knows that Yoongi treats her differently, knows that he’s always aware of her and what she needs. It’s because of that that she’s confident he would without a doubt take care of her needs, that he would never leave her unsatisfied. But she hadn’t realized that he might actually be nervous about it…

“What are you nervous about, Yoon?” She reaches up when she asks, pushing his hair out of his eyes and cradling his face in her hands. He leans into her touch, closing his eyes as he relaxes into her. His palms spread warmly over her waist, thumbs kneading circles into her sides.

“Just… wanna make sure that I do this right… that I make you feel good… that I don’t cum in less than five minutes…”

Y/n snickers at his last comment, and his eyes fly open, a pout forming on his lips.

“I’m serious! I don’t want to disappoint you by finishing too early- I don’t even know if I have condoms!”

He looks panicked then, like he’s about to jump up and tear the room apart for a condom. Y/n just smiles widely, pulling his face in so she can kiss him before he goes on a rampage.

“Yoongi, I’m on birth control. My mom made me start going to St. Mungo’s after Christmas. You don’t have to worry about the condom.”

Yoongi looks shocked and a little embarrassed, both because he hadn’t noticed that she’d started taking potions and also because her mom totally doesn’t trust them… with reason, of course. But still, it’s a little awkward, so he doesn’t think about it too long, opting instead to listen as Y/n keeps talking him down from his incoming panic attack.

“And I don’t care if you finish early. I’m not gonna judge you if you can’t last long - shit, I don’t even know if I can last long.”

He smiles then, shaking his head.

“It’d be kinda hot if you couldn’t last long, though…”

Y/n scoffs, eyeing him in disbelief.

“And you think I wouldn’t find it hot if you finished early? Imagine how big my ego would get - the Great Min Yoongi, dethroned by the best pussy he’s ever ha-”

Yoongi throws his head back, his laughter echoing through their bedroom. Y/n loves to hear it.

“Okay, alright, I get it - Even if I can’t make you feel good, at least I can boost your ego-”

Y/n snorts, pulling him in for another kiss. She lets him guide them back down to the bed, glad that he no longer seems nervous. He pulls away after a moment, smiling down at her in embarrassment.

“Any chance in hell that you’re still wet after that slight detour?”

She only tilts her head to the side and smiles up at him.

“Why don’t you find out for yourself?”

Yoongi clicks his tongue, a breathless laugh leaving him as he leans in to kiss her.

“You’re pretty smooth, you know that?”

Y/n giggles when he mumbles the line against her lips, deciding not to respond and to let Yoongi take over once more.

He doesn’t disappoint, his playful kiss fading into something more heated. Pushing his tongue past her lips, he smiles at the way she arches her back when he brushes his thumb over one of her nipples. When she cradles his head in her hand, keeping him close, he lets his hand drift lower, lets himself enjoy the way her breathing gets heavy when his fingers start dancing beneath her skirt.

And when he finally presses up against that pretty little wet spot he’d seen earlier, he lets himself enjoy the way she moans into his mouth, the way her legs fall open for him.

He starts slow, rubbing slow circles against her panties. He knows it’s going to annoy her, and when he turns out to be right - when she starts impatiently grinding down into his hand - he decides that his goal is to frustrate her until she snaps.

He waits until that little wet spot turns into a much bigger wet spot, and then he pulls away from her mouth, smiling when she glares up at him.

“What’s wrong, babygirl? Don’t like the way Daddy’s treating you?”

Y/n rolls her eyes then, not realizing that Yoongi’s just waiting for her to run her mouth.

“I’d be doing a lot better if you would just do a little bit more-” Y/n’s breath is cut short when Yoongi stops completely, lifting his hand and wrapping it around her throat with so much certainty that only then does she realize that he’s planned this.

“You wanna try mouthing off again?”

Y/n feels herself clench when he whispers against her ear, and she’s letting out a quiet apology before she can stop herself. Yoongi only scoffs in response, releasing her throat in favor of sitting up and leaning back on his heels again.

When he hooks his fingers into her panties this time, Y/n can’t find an ounce of doubt in his eyes. Seeing him so confident makes her squirm, feeling needy again.

Yoongi lets her panties drop to the floor, hands going to her knees and guiding them open. The way he stares down at her has Y/n shifting nervously, and she grows shy the longer he looks. But when she finally decides she wants to close her legs, one glance up at Yoongi tells her not to try it.

Because he’s finally meeting her eyes now, gaze heated as he drags his hands up and down her thighs.

“Aren’t you just the prettiest little thing?”

Y/n feels her stomach drop deliciously - it’s unfair that he always knows exactly what to say to her. But he’s not the only one.

“I bet it feels just as good as it looks… Daddy.” She smirks up at him, watching as his eyelashes flutter at her words.

Never breaking eye contact, Yoongi slides his hand up her thigh, brushing the pad of his thumb up against her clit. When she inhales sharply, he raises an eyebrow, a knowing smile growing on his lips when he does it two, three more times.

He runs his fingers through her folds - he’s giving her a break, obviously - and watches as she squirms under him. But she never breaks eye contact, and he’s gotta give credit where credit’s due.

As soon as his fingers are soaked enough, he rubs circles over her clit, growing rougher the longer he goes. Only when she moans his name does he relent, dropping his middle and ring fingers down to play with her entrance.

“Feel good, baby?”

He’s proud at how quickly she nods, so he dips his middle finger in, a reward for her good behavior. She clenches around him right away, and although he’d only meant to tease, he finds that he really wants to keep going.

Y/n feels her head spinning when Yoongi thrusts a finger into her, the sensation building when he curls it upward toward himself. She really doesn’t know how she keeps it together when he adds his ring finger, because the stretch has her moaning embarrassingly loud. He only smiles, grinding his palm into her clit as he fingers her. He does this a few more times, and she just knows he’s watching her fall apart, because the moment the coil in her stomach starts to tighten, he’s drawing his fingers out. She whines in annoyance, hearing him snicker above her.

“Something the matter, princess?”

Letting her eyes drift open, Y/n glares up at him, panting heavily.

“You know exactly what’s wrong.”

He only smiles, guilty as charged.

“I have no idea what you mean, baby.”

There’s a pause, and then Y/n’s squinting up at him, letting her foot slide forward on the bed.

As soon as she makes contact when the front of his boxers, he’s hissing loudly, flinching away from her. He couldn’t possibly have been dumb enough to think she’d forget about him.

Y/n presses her foot onto his tented shorts, watching with pride as Yoongi’s jaw drops, his eyes rolling back for just a moment as he lets out a quiet moan.

It doesn’t last long, Y/n’s ankle finally snatched up in Yoongi’s free hand as he glares down at her. She just smiles innocently up at him.

“Seems like you might need a little relief yourself.”

Yoongi cocks an eyebrow.

“Yeah? Got any ideas?”

Y/n says nothing, only letting her knees fall open further. As soon as Yoongi looks down at her - as soon as he remembers how wet she is - he’s swallowing hard, hand coming down to palm himself through his boxers.

Y/n sits up, pushing his hand out of the way and replacing it with her own. He inhales sharply, keeping his eyes on hers as he feels her grab at the band of his shorts. He lets her pull them down this time, shutting his eyes briefly at the cold air on his burning hot skin. Just that moment is enough time for Y/n to reach down and take him in her hand.

Yoongi slumps forward, forehead falling to her shoulder as a moan rips from his throat. He reaches blindly for her when she starts stroking him, taking her sweet time with torturing him as he grips at her waist. She’d given him handjobs before, and he feels like he shouldn’t be this sensitive to her touch, but he’s never been this hard before.

“Baby, please… please, I’m not gonna last long like this- Y/n, please-”

Y/n relents then, hearing the desperation in his voice and deciding to cut him some slack. He sighs heavily, relaxing into her.

“Fuck, that was close.”

The room is quiet for a moment, but Y/n never misses a chance to take a jab at her favorite boy in the world.

“Yoongi?”

“Hm?”

“Are you gonna fuck me, or am I gonna have to take care of it myself?”

He doesn’t miss a beat, not even bothering to lift his head from her shoulder.

“I’d love to see you try to finish this yourself with nothing but those cute little fingers.”

Y/n purses her lips, hating that her core already aches at the memory of his fingers inside her.

“I guess I’ll just have to try until you decide to replace them with something better.” And with that, she leans away from him and falls back on the mattress, watching him scramble to keep his balance after she’d abandoned him.

She doesn’t even bother pretending like she’s going to touch herself. Yoongi’s already kicked off his boxers the rest of the way and is climbing over her, caging her in again. He leans in, pressing his mouth to hers in a heated kiss and smiling down at her when he’s done.

“You weren’t really gonna touch yourself without me, were you?”

Y/n rolls her eyes in annoyance.

“I will if you don’t fucking do something already-”

She cuts herself off with a gasp, unprepared for the way Yoongi’s grinding against her, rubbing himself against her folds.

“You were saying?”

She growls under her breath, reminding herself to give him a hard time later for not knowing when to shut the fuck up. She would do it now, but she’s growing increasingly distracted by the way he’s teasing her entrance. Her stomach bursts with a swarm of butterflies, finally realizing that she and Yoongi are about to-

The moan that leaves Y/n when Yoongi pushes into her would be embarrassing, but she can feel his fingers digging into her hips with bruising force, can hear the way he moans her name in her ear as he bottoms out. She doesn’t have time to feel embarrassed, not right now and certainly not with him. Never with him.

“Yoongi, fuck-”

He pulls out and slides back into her slowly, waiting until she’s ready before he lets go of his self-control. It takes a few seconds, but eventually, she’s squeezing his biceps and clenching around him, telling him everything he needs to know.

He thrusts harder this time, savoring the way she pulls him in for a kiss and moans against his lips. Rocking into her, he screws his eyes shut, overwhelmed by her.

“You feel so good, Y/n-”

Lifting himself onto his elbow, he keeps kissing her, muffling her moans with his lips as his hips snap into hers. Her nails dig into his shoulders, and he can’t say he’s not excited to see how scratched up he is later. He wants to see it - wants to be reminded of this moment every time he looks in the mirror.

Pulling away from her, he contents himself with just watching - watching how her back arches, how she throws her head back when he slides in at a certain angle. How she looks up at him, sweaty and panting and smiling so prettily when she whispers-

“I love you… love you, Yoongi…”

Yoongi’s heart stutters when the words reach his ears, only worsening when he realizes that she’s just mumbling it over and over again, a mantra of his name on her lips every time he thrusts into her. His brain fills with that white-hot static he’s gotten so used to whenever she’s around, and he has no idea what to do except repeat it back to her as he presses his lips to hers. Feeling her everywhere. On his skin. In his head. In his heart. He feels her everywhere, hears her everywhere. He loves it, loves this. Loves her.

Later, he’s not going to have any explanation for why this is the moment that he’s pushed over the edge. He’s not going to be able to understand why this is the moment that his hips stall, why this is the moment that he spills into her, moaning her name while she cries out for him, her own orgasm crashing over her as she clings to him. He’s not going to know how to deal with the feelings that’ll come after this moment, not even going to realize that she’s feeling the same things he is until much later.

But right now, he doesn’t need to know any of that. He doesn’t need anything, not when she’s here with him in this moment, fully and completely his.

#bts au #bts smau #bts social media au #bts texts #bts hogwarts au #min yoongi #yoongi x reader

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btsrunmylife · 2 years

Text

Invisible String, 21: Home

summary: Sometimes the hardest thing in life is letting yourself be seen.

pairing: yoongi x f!reader

rating: explicit 🔞

genre: social media au, angst, fluff, romance

chapter word count: 5.4k 🥴

chapter warnings: EXPLICIT CONTENT AHEAD. minors DNI. Chapter also contains swearing, blood, mentions of violence, mentions of assault, mentions of being put in jail, mentions of a racial slur (that is not actually explicitly written), mentions of loss, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, rough sex, possessiveness, cunnilingus, vaginal fingering.

permanent tag list (open): @yoongiofmine @xianav @lilacdreams-00 @emmmui @vantxx95 @cursedblood707 @hqtetsurou @geauxlsu79 @lyra0cassiopeia @halesandy @lunaoceanchild @annoyingtimemachinee @babycoffeefire @darlinggod-sweetvillain @yu-justme @rageyoudamnednerd @bubblytaetae @aurel1ia @valhallawhispers @somelazysundays @cuteipat @dahliasbouqet @funkylittlebisexuall @wrmnssoul @saweetspoiled @infatuatedghost @black-rose-29 @hopeoncrackkk @atinymonbebestay

series taglist (open): @feral-daisy @pamzn @jeonsy98 @secretlycrazyhummingbird @nabiolive @tarahardcore @xxxanimangxxx @mintsugarmy

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“Where the fuck were you during practice, huh?” Yoongi spits, shoving Ted back another step. He watches in twisted fascination as crimson drips from the captain’s mouth. “You sure as hell don’t look sick!”

Ted sneers, teeth shining red from where Yoongi had hit him, and spits onto the ground at Yoongi’s feet. “Fuck you, I should have you arrested for assault.”

Yoongi scoffs. “That’s rich coming from the man assaulting half the campus!”

The captain’s eyes narrow and he takes a measured step forward, bringing himself closer to Yoongi’s face, which doesn’t look much better than Ted’s. “I’d watch what the fuck you say.”

The racial slur that falls from Ted’s lips next is obviously meant to be heard by Yoongi, but none of the people that have gathered to watch. It lingers in the air between them, bounces around Yoongi’s brain a few times, and ignites a fire in Yoongi’s chest he can’t put out.

The motherfucker wants to die.

But before Yoongi can raise another fist, shouts break through the crowd. Seokjin, Taehyung, and Jungkook push through, Taehyung’s arms wrapping around Yoongi’s waist to pull him back. Yoongi lets out a growl and tries to fight him off, but Taehyung drags him back with all his weight.

“He’s not worth it,” Taehyung huffs, relieved when Seokjin places himself between Yoongi and Ted.

Ted smirks, swiping his thumb across the edge of his mouth and glancing at the blood that comes away. “You should listen to them, Yawn-gie. You’re already going to regret this.”

Yoongi presses forward in Taehyung’s arms. “Is that a threat?”

“Come on,” Seokjin placates. “There’s no need for this to escalate. It’s just a misunderstanding–”

Ted scoffs. “Yeah, sure. It’s just an accident that he punched me and accused me of rape, right?”

“I’m gonna fucking kill him,” Yoongi growls, and it takes both Taehyung and Jungkook to pull him away this time.

Ted laughs humorlessly. “Yeah, a real misunderstanding.”

Paxton stands beside the basketball captain, jaw clenched as he looks between Yoongi and Ted. He sighs and nudges his friend. “We should go, T.”

“I have no reason to go anywhere,” Ted snaps, jutting his chin in Yoongi’s direction. “He’s the one who attacked me on my own property.”

“You don’t own the apartment building,” Jungkook grumbles with a roll of his eyes.

Ted’s eyes flash as he swings his glare on Jungkook.

“Come on,” Seokjin huffs, ushering the three of his friends away. “We should go before–”

Sirens slice through the air, whooping loudly in the otherwise silent night, and Seokjin’s shoulders slump.

“--before the cops show up,” he grumbles, throwing his hands up. “Fuck!”

~*~*~

Yoongi walks into the apartment with a slam of the door the next morning, still a bit riled up over what happened. He’s livid he had to spend a night in jail because of that asshole. Livid that the guy is going to continue to get away with this shit. And now Yoongi is the one who looks like the bad guy. He may even have assault charges against him because he’d punched the guy in the face.

What a fucking joke.

Yoongi huffs and stops short when he rounds the corner, surprised to find the TV on. He hesitates when he sees you sitting on the couch. Admittedly, he’s still angry about the fact you’d been here, hadn’t wanted to leave the apartment, and he hadn’t been allowed to come see you.

He also feels a bit guilty about that.

You don’t give him the chance to be wary of you though, launching off the couch and wrapping your arms around him in a tight embrace he’s clearly not expecting.

His hands hover over your back before he pats you tentatively between the shoulder blades. “Are you okay?”

You huff and bury your face in his shirt. “I should be asking you that. What were you thinking, going after Ted Grayson like that?”

When you pull away to look at him, you’re met with his deep frown. “How do you know about that?”

“Why, Yoongi? What did fighting him change?” you press on, completely ignoring his question.

“More people will know what he’s doing,” he mutters, eyebrows pinching when you reach to prod at his bloody lip. He hisses and grabs your wrist, guiding your hand down. “Ghost, stop, I’m fine.”

You narrow your eyes at him. “Don’t tell me you’re fine when you just spent a night in jail and look like you just got punched in the face.”

“I did get punched in the face,” Yoongi allows with a tilt of his lips that tugs on the cut. The expression is a bit unsettling, more sarcastic than anything. You find it frustrating that he can’t be serious about this.

“You didn’t have to fight him for me.”

“It wasn’t just for you,” Yoongi scoffs. “I’ve been quiet about that asshole for too long. You don’t hear half the stuff he says in the locker room. He thinks he has the entire campus in the palm of his hand just because he’s rich and his daddy donates to the school every year. He needs to be taught he can’t get away with this shit. This has to stop.”

“Yes,” you completely agree, reaching for his hand. “But you getting suspended, expelled, or losing your scholarship is not going to make any of that stop. If anything, it’s only going to encourage him.”

“Then what the fuck am I supposed to do?” Yoongi rips his hands from yours, running his hand through his hair. “Just stand by and listen whenever he makes racist fucking jokes about his own teammates? Just stand by and listen to him talk about all the women he’s coerced into going home with him? Into fucking behind the bushes after dark? I can’t do that!”

“I didn’t say to do nothing,” you justify, starting to get frustrated too. “You can’t solve every problem with your hands, Yoongi! Sometimes you have to be smart!”

He narrows his eyes at you, jaw clenching and unclenching. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Ghost?”

You roll your eyes and throw up your hands. “Everything is sounding like an insult to you right now because you’re in fight mode, but it doesn’t mean anything, Yoongi! I just meant that we, as two people who are less likely to be believed than some rich white guy, have to fight a little differently.”

Slowly, the fight melts from Yoongi’s shoulders. “What do you have in mind, Ghost?”

You swipe a finger across his cracked lip and click your tongue at the fresh blood. You nudge him toward the couch. “I’ll tell you, but first, sit.”

“But–”

“Sit,” you order, finger pointed at the cushion behind him. You wait until he does, then disappear into the bathroom to grab a wet cloth, some antibacterial ointment, and a couple of bandages. Unfortunately for him, it looks like Ted didn’t go down without fighting back. Even more unfortunately, you’re not so sure this will be the only way Ted fights. Your heart sinks at the mere idea of Yoongi losing his scholarship over you, even if he claims it wasn’t about you.

When you return, it’s to find Yoongi with his head tilted back against the couch, his eyes closed in a pained grimace. You frown and sit gingerly next to him, nudging your foot against his to rouse him.

He blinks slowly, rolling his head to the side to look at you. He raises his thumb to brush your cheek. “Ghost…”

You have half a mind to bite his finger off for being so stupid as to confront some rich guy for you, but you sigh instead and dab at his lip with the wet cloth.

“You’re an idiot, Min Yoongi,” you mutter and he quirks that smile again, once again tugging on the cut on his lip. You stare at it, heart falling a little. “What if you’d gotten hurt worse than this?”

His smile softens, his hand raising to your face to skate his thumb along the length of your jawline. “I’m more worried about you.”

Your eyes close, cheek leaning into the gentle touch. You’re mad at him, really fucking angry at him for taking this into his own hands and being so stupid. But you’re thankful he’s here and that he’s okay. At least, relatively.

“Will you tell me your plan now?” he questions quietly, and your eyes flutter open to meet his gentle gaze.

You force a smile. “I’ll tell you, okay? I will, but first you need rest.”

Yoongi frowns as you pull him to his feet and start to push him toward his bedroom, digging his heels stubbornly into the floor. “I don’t want to rest.”

“Even if I’m coming with you?” you offer, wrapping your arms around him from behind and placing a kiss on the back of his neck. Against his best efforts, he can’t hide the shiver that travels up his spine.

He sighs. “I guess I could rest.”

You grin, pulling him toward you to kiss just beneath his ear. “Good boy.”

He growls playfully and you laugh, stumbling after him as he drags you along into his bedroom, letting the door slam shut behind him.

~*~*~

The two of you end up tangled up in Yoongi’s bed, Yoongi rubbing your back while your hand drifts through his hair. The two of you haven’t gotten much rest, despite both being exhausted from the night before, but find yourself talking about anything that comes to mind instead.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there to walk you home,” Yoongi eventually mutters, voicing what’s been on his mind since he found out what happened. He wraps his arms protectively around you and pulls you a little closer. “And I’m sorry I avoided you before the party. I was just frustrated you were ignoring me. Maybe if I hadn’t…”

You give a half-hearted laugh.

“Hey, you weren’t the only one doing the avoiding. I’m sorry too. I guess I was just feeling a bit overwhelmed and needed space. I’ll try to communicate that next time,” you sigh, drifting your fingers through his hair in an effort to soothe him. “And as much as I want you to be, you can’t always be there, Yoon.”

This is something you realized soon after the party, you wouldn’t always have Yoon there to save you. And you can’t expect him to be or get mad at him when he’s not. You need to be able to defend yourself too.

“No, but someone can be,” he points out. “Namjoon or Jimin can walk you too.”

You stare hard at the jersey he’d practiced in, the two of you too wrapped in your thoughts to even think about changing, and your heart aches a little. “It won’t stop him.”

“Maybe not,” He holds you tighter. “But it’ll help deter him.”

You think about how Namjoon and Jimin were there for you last night, how they seemed to genuinely care and worry about you and Yoongi. You begin to draw patterns on his arm. “You have a lot more friends here than you did in high school. You seemed more like a social outcast back then.”

Yoongi snorts. “That’s because my family had just left Korea and none of my classmates were Korean. I was miserable.”

“I always thought you were so cool,” you mutter with a wistful sort of sigh.

“Really?” he laughs. “Even though I had no friends?”

“I admired you for it, actually. Your ability to exist outside the norm and what people expect of you.”

“I could say the same about you,” he mumbles, giving your waist a pinch.

You squeak, swatting at his hand. “You didn’t even notice me in high school.”

“I did!” he claims.

You roll your eyes. “Right.”

“I did!” he laughs. “You were nice to everyone, even the people who treated you like shit. Even the people it made you a little lame to talk to. You didn’t care about any of that.”

“Yeah, well…” You purse your lips. “Everyone deserves to be treated like a human being.”

He smiles and kisses your head, then your cheek, slowly nudging his way down to your neck. “I admire you for that, Ghost. Not everyone has a heart like yours.”

Your cheeks heat and you duck your head, trying to hide how flustered his words make you. After you gather yourself, you hum. “Can I ask you something?”

He hums in agreement, squeezing you. “Shoot.”

“Why don’t you like relationships?”

His body tenses against yours and you almost reassure him it’s okay not to answer when he sighs, “I just don’t like labels, Ghost. I feel like they limit us too much, box us into things and put too much pressure on us to fit inside that box. I don’t like to define myself, my sexuality, or my relationships.”

Your eyebrows pinch as you think this over, eyes drifting unseeingly to the tattoo that’s now on full display on his neck, a word written in what you assume to be Korean. “But if you…had to describe ours…”

He hums, tilting your chin up to look him in the eyes. He edges closer, observing your every reaction, before kissing you gently. “I could think of a lot of ways to describe our relationship, Ghost.”

Your eyes flit between his. “So do it.”

And he does, rolling you onto your back and punctuating each point with a kiss down your sternum, over your clothes, until he reaches your tummy.

New.

Sexy.

Exciting.

Fun.

Exclusive.

The last one is said as a question and he glances up at you with raised eyebrows. You feel your knees buckle at the sight of his hooded gaze pointed up at you, lips hovering just centimeters from the strip of skin that’s visible beneath your shirt. A shiver runs down your back and you nod, scraping a hand through his hair.

He smirks and works his way back up your body, returning to your mouth and kissing you roughly. “You’re all mine now, right?”

Your answering snort turns into a moan as he grinds his pelvis into yours, your legs instinctively parting for him to settle between. This idiot, you can’t help but think. “I’ve been yours, you dumbass.”

He barks out a laugh, pressing his forehead to your shoulder as his body shakes. “Damn, you’ve been mine this whole time and I didn’t even know?”

He nudges a hand beneath your top and tugs the cups of your bra down, shooting you a smirk before ducking his head to suckle on to your tit. It takes you by surprise and you gasp, arching your back and pulling at the hair on the back of his head. He moans and rolls his tongue along your nipple before gently sinking his teeth into you, smirking when you yelp.

When he pulls away from your breast to move to the other, you watch with hazy fascination the way the spit trails from his lips. You moan and close a hand over your breast, swirling your fingers over the wet and aching bud.

“Mm, fuck,” Yoongi hums around you, giving a particularly slow swipe of his tongue over you as he glances at your hand. “Love watching you play with yourself. Pinch that nipple nice and hard for me, baby.”

You yelp when you do, hips giving an involuntary roll, searching for any sort of friction.

Yoongi chuckles, pressing his hips down into you and giving you a taste of relief.

“Is that pretty pussy wet for me already, hmm?” he grunts, swearing at the way you press against the erection sitting uncomfortably in his shorts.

“So wet,” you confirm, whimpering against his mouth when he rises up to kiss you. He doesn’t waste time in deepening the kiss, tongue dipping into your mouth, tangling with yours in a way that reminds you of all the dirty things it can do between your legs. You whine and tug at the bottom of his shirt, grateful when he takes the hint and removes it.

“Always so wet for me,” he chuckles, surprising you with a smack to your breast.

You cry out, louder than expected, and quickly clamp a hand over your mouth.

Yoongi tsks, grabbing your hand and pinning it to the mattress by your head. “Don’t you dare be quiet. I wanna hear you.”

He punctuates his point with a slap to the other breast and you throw your head back, unable to stop yourself from crying out this time. He chuckles, burying his face in your neck and rolling his hips against yours. “I love the sounds you make. You’re so fucking sexy.”

You whimper at the praise, wrapping your arms around him to hold him against your neck, where he’s begun sucking a bruise into your skin. “Yoongi, please.”

He hums, nipping almost painfully at your neck. “Hmm? What do you want, baby? Remember to use those words of yours.”

“Want you to fuck me,” you mewl.

“Yeah?” he chuckles, fingers teasing you over your pants. “Does this greedy pussy want my cock already? Don’t even want my fingers first?”

You shake your head. “Want your cock.”

He hums, burying his face in your shoulder. “You sure you’re ready?”

“Yoongi,” you whine, undoing the button of your pants and pushing them down before reaching for his hand to guide his fingers toward your sopping wet folds.

“God damn,” he hisses, teasing you with the tips of his fingers and leaning up on an elbow to look at you. “How are you always so wet?”

He shoves two fingers into you, finding no resistance, and immediately sets a brutal pace. You cry out, gripping onto his shoulders and throwing your head back. You dig your heels into the mattress, hips moving at their own accord as you chase a high that’s already quickly approaching.

This man is going to be the death of you.

“Fuck yes,” he growls, mimicking your expression – eyebrows pinched, lips parted, eyes squinted. “Look at you, taking my fingers so well, fucking yourself onto my fingers. You really are greedy, aren’t you, baby? You want to cum so badly?”

You mewl and nod, attempting to part your legs, but frustrated by being confined by your clothing. “Want to cum on your cock.”

“Jesus,” he breathes, fingers slowing as he rests his head against yours. He breathes out a laugh, shaking his head. “You’re filthy, you know that?” He kisses your hairline before meeting your gaze. “Do you trust me?”

You search his gaze, wondering what he could be thinking, but find yourself nodding anyway. If there’s anything you’ve learned over the past few days, it’s that you can trust him and that he would never do anything to intentionally hurt you.

“Can I try something?” he questions, glancing down when you clench around his fingers. He smirks, eyeing you curiously. “Did something about that just turn you on?”

You squirm uncomfortably at being called out on it. “Shut up. Try whatever you want.”

He raises his eyebrows, smirk widening into an amused grin. “Whatever I want?”

And, okay, maybe you should watch what you say, but this is Yoongi. You’re pretty sure there’s not a thing he would try that you wouldn’t like.

At least, you think.

So, you capture your lip between your teeth and nod.

He curses and kisses your neck, following a path up to your ear. “Can I fuck you raw, baby? Would that be okay?”

You shiver at his words and nod. “I’m clean and on the pill.”

He smirks. “I’m clean too.”

Well, there. You finally got your answer to the question you’ve been wanting to ask. You don’t think a man who asks to fuck you raw would then turn around and admit to not being clean, but you push that thought aside.

When he reaches down to continue removing your pants from you, your hands clasp around his. “Actually…”

He furrows his eyebrows in concern. “We don’t have to…we don’t have to do anything at all.”

You squirm. “No, it’s not that…I just…I also want to try something?”

He quirks a brow, corner of his mouth lifting. “What do you have in mind?”

“I—“ you start, but stop yourself, wondering how best to explain what you want. No, what you need. You purse your lips and nudge his shoulder, motioning for him to make room. He leans away and you roll over, pushing your jeans down to your thighs and wiggling your butt a little. “Fuck me like this.”

He makes a choking sound and you glance over your shoulder at him, smirking at the way he stares at your tightly pressed thighs. He hisses, carefully lowering himself over you to press a kiss to the back of your neck. “Are you trying to kill me, Ghost? Do you realize how tight you’ll be this way?”

You squirm. “Please. Need to feel your weight on top of me.”

He hums, looping an arm around your shoulders to bring you closer to him. “Yeah? Need me close, baby?”

He grinds his hips against your ass and you gasp, hands curling into fists as you nod. “Please.”

“Say my name, baby.”

You yelp when his other hand pushes beneath you, pinching a nipple roughly between his fingers. “Yoongi!”

He chuckles, the timber of his voice sending shivers down your spine. “Good girl. You want my cock, right? You’re gonna be a good girl while I fuck you nice and hard like this? Is that what you want?”

You squirm and nod dumbly, unable to voice the words you so desperately want to say. You need him to fuck you good and hard, need him to lay on top of you and rail you into the mattress until your only thought is how good it feels. How good he feels on top of you, caging you beneath his body.

Over all, you need the chance to let go of control and trust that everything will be alright. That he’ll take care of you.

“God, baby,” he growls, and you feel him fumble with the waistband of his shorts before the tip of his erection presses between your ass cheeks. “Do you know how crazy you drive me? How long I’ve wanted to call this pussy mine?”

He punctuates his words with a pointed roll of his hips, his length dragging against your ass. You whimper because it’s so close to where you want him, but it’s not close enough.

“Yoongi, please,” you pout. “It’s yours. Take it.”

He chuckles into your ear, brushing your hair from the side of your face and taking your ear between his teeth. You feel him shift on top of you, the tip of his dick dragging down the cleft of your ass before squeezing between your thighs. He hisses, forcing your legs apart a fraction to tease at your folds. You wiggle impatiently until a hand comes down on your ass.

“Be a good girl and stay still, Ghost,” he grunts, rocking his hips ever so slightly. The tip eases into you, making you bite your lip in an effort not to rock back into him. You just want him inside you already. Only when you’ve calmed does his grip around your shoulder tighten and he snaps his hips forward.

You cry out in surprise, hands immediately moving to grip the arm resting over your collarbones. He groans. “Jesus fuck. You’re just as tight as I thought you’d be.”

He feels so good like this and arousal courses through you at the way he wraps himself around you, body flush against yours just like you imagined. You crane your neck around, desperate for at least a kiss, and he obliges, tongue easing past your parted lips.

“How do you feel, baby?” he questions, shifting his hips experimentally and grinning at your choked-off moan. He bites your lip. “Words, Ghost.”

“G-good!” you stutter, torn between being good and reaching back to try to pull him closer. As if he could be any closer than he already is. “P-please, push me into the mattress.”

He’s silent for a moment before he shifts his weight, allowing more of it to rest on top of you. He grinds his hips, pressing shallowly in and out of you, his hand finding its way into your hair and pulling. “Is this what you want, baby? You want it a little rough? Want me to pin you and take what I want from you?”

You mewl, nails digging into his arm while he continues to grind, the wet slide of him inside you making you gush all the more. You can’t move like this, can’t fuck him back the way your body so desperately wants to, and he can’t fuck you as hard as he’d like to either, but it feels so good. It feels so good to give yourself over to him like this. To let him take, to let him claim.

And you realize that’s exactly what he’s doing, the word “mine” so softly growled under his breath, as he thrusts himself into you. The little grunts pouring from his lips in combination with the sound of your whimpers and his hips hitting against your ass are like a symphony to your ears, so erotic and so beautiful you’d listen to it on repeat.

“Fuck, Yn,” he groans, the hand tightening in your hair letting you know just how difficult it is for him to hold his composure. Just how delightful the tightness of your cunt is. “You’re so fucking tight.”

His body continues to slide against yours and he’s so close, pressed so tightly against you, you can feel every move he makes. With his body heat pressed to yours, his arms wrapped around you and caging you against the mattress, you feel safe. Protected.

Claimed.

And you’re willingly giving yourself to him. And you’d gladly do it again and again. As long as he’d have you.

“Fuck,” he grunts when your walls tremble around him and he presses tighter to you. “You feel so fucking good, baby. You’re doing so well, milking my fucking cock like this. And this pussy is all mine, isn’t it? All–” He huffs and slams into you. “--fucking mine.”

Your eyes are closed, all you can do is feel, and you nod, panting, “Yours. All yours.”

He swears under his breath, breath hot against the side of your face. “I won’t last much longer like this. You want my cum, don’t you, baby? You want me to fill up this pretty pussy?”

You cry out, the coil pulling taut in your belly, leading you closer and closer to the edge. “Yes! Please! Yoongi, I want your cum!”

“Thank fuck,” he growls, snapping his hips harder. “I need you to cum with me, okay, baby? Be a good girl and cum for me.”

His command is the only thing you need to push you over the edge, entire body trembling with the force of your orgasm. He clings to you, cock swelling, and cums with a loud groan, hips pausing as he fills your cunt with his seed.

He’s surprisingly quick to pull out of you, grabbing a hold of your jeans to tug them down before rolling you over onto your back, where he parts your thighs and dives face-first into your cunt. You mewl at the sensation, fingers curling into his blond locks of hair as he slurps up the mess the two of you made. It shouldn’t be as hot as it is, it shouldn’t make you want to fuck him all over again, but it does.

You moan and tug at his hair, pulling him up so you can explore his mouth with your tongue. The mixture of his arousal with yours makes your stomach swoop and you wrap an arm around his neck, biting at his lip, only for him to pull away with a hiss. “God, you’re hot.”

He huffs a laugh, swiping his thumb across the blood you drew from his busted lip. “After all that, I’m glad you think so.”

He rolls off you and comes to rest beside you, pulling you into his arms, where you settle against his chest.

“Hey, Yoon,” you mutter lazily, tilting your chin up to peer curiously at the tattoo on his neck that keeps catching your attention.

He hums, shivering when you trace your fingertip along the foreign lettering.

“What does your tattoo say?”

He glances at you, a soft smile tugging at his lips. “I’m surprised you waited this long to ask.”

You shrug. “I didn’t want to seem nosy.”

He rolls his eyes. “If I didn’t want people to know about it, I wouldn’t have gotten it somewhere so visible.”

“So?”

He sighs, resting a hand on your shoulder and idly drawing patterns. “It says Daegu in hangul. It’s where I was born.”

You purse your lips, processing this information, and glance down at your hand where you rest it on his chest. “You must miss it.”

He hums. “I did…for a long time, actually. I think I’ll always consider it my home, but…this is also my home, you know?”

You don’t know. You live and grew up in the same place. You’ve never had to experience growing up somewhere unfamiliar, around people so different, so far away from everything you know. You’ve never had your roots somewhere so far away from where you are or felt your sense of identity shift because of it. But you get it. You understand how difficult and painful that must have been for him.

“What kept you here?” you question quietly, having wondered ever since your first class with him all those months ago. You really had thought he’d moved back to South Korea, if not with his family, then sometime after that on his own. You’re surprised, after all that talk about being miserable without Korean classmates, that he stayed.

He’s quiet, the sudden rise and fall of his chest letting you know he’s still conscious, and his hand squeezes around your shoulder. “Do you remember that time you were late for school because you stopped to help a woman who’d spilled her groceries?”

You furrow your brows, wondering how this is at all related to what you’d just asked. “I…think so?”

He hums. “That was my mom.”

You blink, tilting your chin up to look at him. “Oh?”

He meets your gaze, a certain fondness making them appear softer, something you’re not expecting. “Yeah.” He looks away, his eyes losing some of their shine. “She passed away before I graduated high school.”

You push up onto your elbow. “Yoongi, I’m so sorry!”

He shakes his head, eyebrows pinching. “Don’t be. It’s not…I’m not telling you so you feel bad about it, Ghost. I’m just saying, she’s the reason I stayed here. The reason my parents moved here was to give me a better life.” He rolls his eyes. “Little did they know how fucking hard it would be.” He shakes his head. “But I didn’t want the sacrifices she made to be in vain, so I stayed.”

That makes sense…but it also breaks your heart a little. “I can’t speak for your mom, but don’t you think she’d be proud of you, regardless of whether you stayed here or moved back to South Korea?”

He pinches your shoulder. “What are you trying to do, send me away?”

You scoff out a laugh. “No! I just…if your heart is still in Daegu…”

He rolls his eyes and shifts, rolling on top of you with a cheeky grin. He glances down between your thighs. “I can show you where my heart is.”

You groan, pushing his head away. “Oh my god, you’re such a guy.”

He grins. “What can I say, Ghost?” He leans in to peck your lips. “I love your pussy.”

“So annoying,” you snort, but allow him to kiss you anyway. You run your hand through his hair, pausing when you take note of the color. “Wait…when did you dye your hair?”

He stares at you with wide eyes, then collapses on you in a fit of laughter. “How did you just notice?”

“Shut up! I was too distracted by everything else!” you justify in a huff.

“Like your pussy being stuffed full of my cock?” he questions with a raised eyebrow and a cheeky grin.

You scowl. “Seriously…when?”

He shakes his head and rolls off you, not giving you an answer.

You squeak and roll on top of him. “Yoon!”

He dashes his tongue across his busted lip, wincing a little, and tilts his head to the side, making it clear he’s not going to answer you. You growl and bury your face in his neck, nipping at the skin there. And if you pay special attention to that tattoo after hearing about its importance, if you paint a few kisses along the pretty skin surrounding it? Who’s to blame you, really? After all, Daegu is the city Yoongi was born into…and if it’s important to him, then it’s important to you too.

But you will find out when he dyed his hair. You will.

#bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts smau #bts x reader #bts social media au #bts au fic #min yoongi x reader #min yoongi fanfic #min yoongi smau #min yoongi fanfiction #min yoongi smut #suga x reader #suga smau #suga smut #suga fanfiction

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hopeismimi · 7 months

Text

STAR LINE : 002

Synopsis:

Y/N is debuting in Hybe’s new girl group Cosmatic, while she felt a lot of pressure from debuting under a company that houses the biggest boy group, she’s never going to see them, right? And if she did ever see them, she’d never talk to them, she’d never ever develop a relationship with one of the members, right?

first dance practice with an audience:

a/n: my tumblr on my laptop isn’t working 😒 also I’m thinking that after I’m further into the series I can do polls where people vote on their love interest and whoever gets the least amount of votes is eliminated (from being a love interest)

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taglist: @bxcndd

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nsfwtaegis · 11 months

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eggs

— UNTITLED: THE SMAU

8 besties fall in love. inspired by the untitled one shots by nsfwtaegis

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‣ taglist @highly-functioning-mitochondria @memerswrites @notvantaes @artsxpe @nonbinaryidiot @l7bangtan @miriamxsworld @hithoeshi @xxxanimangxxx @shabbamadapot @saikokirastuff @sugarrush-blush @amara-mars @hanlixmin @kaiparkerwifes @fangirling-all-the-way-tbh @fairywriter-oracle

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becomingbts · 2 years

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Time Heals (sometimes) - 19

Around 4.7k

Pairings: Y/N (fem) x OT7

Genre: Soulmate AU!, Idol Y/NAU!, semi social-media AU!, ANGST (mainly), fluff, romance, maybe smut in the series, NSFW.

Taglist closed!

Warnings: Mention of death, manipulation, depression, and near-death experience, Namjoon P.O.V might be slightly triggering.

NOTE: HELLO!!! I promised to try a bi-monthly update so here we are again!!! Thank you for being patient with me and always tuning with Time Heals! I hope you all will understand a bit more Namjoon after this chapter, I think I’m starting a crisis for some people here, I hope it won’t be too bad, lol! Please take well care, I hope you’ll enjoy this new chapter! Lots of love, feedback is always warmly welcomed!! It’s honestly what motivates me the most!! Love yoy and enjoy!!

Part 18 - here - Part 19.5

To say that Namjoon had been anxious when he first read (Y/N)’s message would be a euphemism. He had been scared shitless, proofread his own message at least five times before sending them while closing his eyes each time he pressed the “send” button. He hoped his answer didn’t sound nearly as panicked as he felt but maybe he tried too much to sound normal. As he read once more his messages, he sounded almost aloof and he hated it. The simple fact that he received a message from her, his... No- he should refrain from calling her his soulmate when she clearly said that she didn't have any soulmate any longer. It was only fair to respect her "choice" if he could call it that way. They didn't really give her a choice, to begin with, so he shouldn’t disregard her words and should refrain from crossing any boundary.

Namjoon wished he could explain his desperation in his messages. Explain how at loss he had been and despite him realizing that he could have done everything differently, he hadn’t found a different solution to their problem and had truly wanted to avoid hurting her. It sounded stupid, even to himself. Being unnecessarily harsh had only broken her further than he had wanted. Namjoon had merely wanted for their bond to emotionally break so that they would have less chance to accidentally bond. If it had happened, she wouldn’t have been alive as of now. However, could he truly not have done it differently? He wished that he could say no, but Namjoon knew that he could have tried something else. Would it have worked? He couldn’t know for sure, and maybe that had been what had prompted him to choose the most violent option. That way, he had been sure that no accidental bonding would happen, but now he could only laugh at how naive he had been because despite what he thought, an accidental bond did happen. Not with him per se, but between Jungkook and (Y/N). Namjoon was confused and terrified about that sudden bond. What if they weren’t healthy enough and that this unintended bond hurt her? Namjoon could only pray that it would not happen because he wouldn’t have any answer as to how to save their soulmate.

Regardless, despite how obvious it was that Namjoon had probably done the worst mistake of his life when he concluded that they needed to reject their last soulmate, it hadn’t been before. He couldn’t have known: information was so little about groups of soulmates that Namjoon had taken it over himself to find information and find a solution. His logic had been perfect, calculating every odd and making sure everything would be perfect and work out, but after years of thinking and guilt eating him alive, Namjoon desperately wished he did differently. As he read her replies to his messages, it was obvious that she also thought the same way. And she was right; he could have explained, he should have told her instead of breaking her past the point of no return, but what if it had gone wrong? What if they had bonded accidentally despite the physical distance and that their bond had started attacking her? How could he have forgiven himself if he didn't try to push her away and keep her safe from them? Realistically, he knew that he had not kept her as safe as he had wished. He had only pushed her to another outcome, hoping and praying for her to stay alive. Maybe that had been the solution of a coward who had refused to see the impact of his words, yet according to his calculation, she truly had a better chance of survival that way. That had been his logic and while Taehyung had been crying, begging him not to do it, to find another solution because, in his eyes, they couldn’t lose another soulmate because of Yongsun, Namjoon hadn't found any other way to protect her and he hated himself for it.

He wished he had found something else, he truly did. Oh, he could rant for hours about how he dreamt of a universe, a very, very, oh so lovely one, in which he told his soulmate everything, from the beginning to the end, explaining how he truly wanted only the best for her and knew that they couldn't be that best momentarily and that they might never be. He used to be stuck on how cruel that felt when he realized what it meant to him and his other soulmates. They might never be suited to welcome their last soulmate without killing her, and the realization crushed Namjoon to the ground.

Yongsun didn't just take a part of their youth with her, she took their hopes and dreams away, brushing every single wish they used to entertain to finally be complete. She left them yearning and empty, darkness surrounding their lives while they wondered if they’d ever see the sun again. They had waited so long for their last soulmate to finally show up, to get to meet her and start getting to know her, only for that person to play them, ruin them and leave nothing but crumbled hearts and dried tears behind. If Taehyung believed that he was the one at fault in the story, Namjoon would beg to differ. If someone failed to protect his soulmates, it was him, not Taehyung.

Yongsun had been desperate; that was what Seokjin said, but Namjoon had never been able to care about her reasons. He could only laugh at that. Oh, if he wasn’t desperate himself to find back a piece of himself, of the young man that used to dream about his soulmates and not the guilt-ridden bitter man that he was used to meeting every morning in the mirror. Namjoon used to think of soulmates as a source of comfort and warmth. It was now only a source of stress and disappointment. A disappointment that Namjoon hated to be. If he had to pick one person to be the worst soulmate ever, he would choose himself in a heartbeat. Seokjin had tried to talk to him, to soften the edges of his turmoil, of the terrible anger that was consuming his whole being, alas to no avail. Namjoon's anger never burned out, only fueling him to search for more answers about their bond and to write more about his discoveries. His hands giving up on him had only been a dull reminder of the never-ending anger that was wide awake inside him. How could he ever explain why he was so angry at the world, at Yongsun, at everyone for allowing such a thing to happen to them, to him, to his soulmates? Why did no one rescue them? Why did no one help them? How could money get Yongsun safe after everything she did to them? He laughed again; the world had never been fair, yet Namjoon had never believed that their system would abandon them so cruelly. Even now that they were financially well off, their mind did not let them try to sue her, tired of being constantly in a fight with the person that destroyed their lives. None of them wanted to deal with her any longer. The simple thought of seeing her again sent chills to their spines, and starting the paperwork seemed insurmountable; it annoyed Namjoon. It only fueled his anger again, adding charcoal to his already hardly controllable fire.

Namjoon was angry and everyone thought that his anger would slowly vanish, yet it only grew. That was maybe because he slowly realized how far Yongsun had gone to make sure everything would unfold the way she had expected it to. He saw the marks on Taehyung's skin, he saw the fear in Seokjin's orbs, and he saw death in Yoongi's ones. Namjoon heard Hoseok's broken cries, Jimin's silent gulps as he left quietly, avoiding fights and leaving everyone behind as much as he could, and Namjoon heard Jungkook's soul breaking each time a fight arose in their apartment. It was often silent, none of them wanting to admit how bad it was even once Yongsun was gone but they all knew that things would never go back to how they used to be. Namjoon rarely saw his soulmates smile as carefree as they once did and maybe, just maybe, that was also one of the reasons for his never-ending anger.

Yet, maybe what truly broke him was to see the despair in his eighth soulmate's eyes when he told her the words that he would forever regret. "Your name means nothing to us." If only that had been the truth, he wouldn’t be waiting for her to reply by now, eyes boring into his screen. Namjoon wished that it had been the truth. Her name meant so much, from hope to despair. Her name meant the world, and it meant dread. It held so much over them that it frightened him. His logic behind their rejection had been flawless, however, his fear of letting someone else hold so much power over them again was totally irrational. He had been terrorized to see the same scenario unfold because after all if someone was capable of doing what Yongsun did to them, how could they be sure that it wouldn’t happen ever again? Namjoon had been terrified at the simple thought, perhaps that had flawed his convictions as much as he claimed that it wasn’t the case. Because once he set that fear aside, the only thing that was left was his anger and his guilt.

How could he ever face her after all the damage he did, even if his intentions had been noble and his heart had simply been in the wrong place? He never thought he’d ever be able to face her again after everything he said, settling for knowing she was alive and living a life of fame and love. If Namjoon couldn’t give her all the love he had for her, he hoped that her fans would make the difference, somehow. (It was foolish of him to think, but he couldn’t help it, he only wanted the best for her). He tried to interact with her as her fan, but it felt wrong as if he was using anonymity to be close to her again, so he stopped as soon as he started. He couldn’t be that person to her, he had doomed himself already. Namjoon believed that he would never see her again, that he would only hear of her from now on that she was a celebrity. Oh, how naive he was.

He did meet her again and he hadn't known if he should be excited or terrified. Namjoon faced her in that hospital bed; he watched as her already pale face lost any trace of color after her eyes rested on his frame. He had not known what she had been thinking once she had realized who he was, but Namjoon had been pretty sure that he must have looked closer to a monster than a soulmate in her eyes. And could he blame her? Not at all. He just wished it was different. Maybe in another life, he'd get to make amends, to cherish her as much as he could, hold her tight against his chest and protect her from the rest of the world. Maybe in another timeline, he'd get to call her at 4 am just because he couldn't sleep and needed to hear her voice, even if she was in the room next to his. Maybe he'd buy a cute shirt for her, just because he thought of her as he saw it. Perhaps he'd pick her up from work, ask her how her day went, and give her a cup of coffee that he ordered from her favorite coffee shop just because he had shown up 10 minutes early.

Namjoon's anger might never die out because he knew that this would never be his reality and, to be honest, he knew that he did that to himself. Or did he really? Wasn't it mainly Yongsun's fault? If only Namjoon could put the blame on someone else than him, maybe he’d feel a little bit more alive. But how could he blame it on her when he hurt their last soulmate just as much? Namjoon hoped that he would never be seen like Yongsun, like someone who destroyed someone else’s life, but maybe in (Y/N)’s eyes, that was all he was. After all, he had been the one to deeply hurt his soulmate with his words, hoping that they would lose the connection and that she would survive the break of the bond.

Namjoon's mind was at war. He couldn't decipher who he hated the most between himself and Yongsun. Maybe Yongsun had been a warning before he even did the biggest mistake that he deserves to be punished for. It should have opened his eyes. That despite everything, soulmates changed people for the worst, which could lead them to do mistakes and ruin other people’s lives. Sometimes Namjoon felt like everything was his fault, that he should have protected his soulmates—all his soulmates—better. He thought of finding her and apologizing, even if it wouldn't change anything. He thought of sending flowers to her place, sending her homemade meals to make sure she would rest and eat healthily. He wished he could have been there for her recovery, to help her navigate through life but he chose another direction and he could only blame himself. Namjoon dreamt of being the first person his soulmates would be thinking of when they thought of safety. How ironic it was that his soulmates didn’t even trust him enough for them to confide in him. Namjoon can recall a time when he used to try and get ready to welcome his soulmates in his life before he met any of them. He would die before telling anyone about it, but he took cooking lessons when he was younger, just so that he would be able to be a good cook for his soulmates. He also tried a bunch of other things, from pottery to wood carving, Namjoon wanted to be a steady man, trustworthy, and who would be able to love his soulmate to his fullest.

And instead, they got a coward. A coward who wasn't able to protect anyone. On the opposite actually, Namjoon was clumsy, blunt, and brutally incapable of protecting any of the souls that he was supposed to cherish and he hated himself for that. He wished he could have done much more for (Y/N) but he had known that he couldn't. How could he do better if he hadn't been able to protect his 6 other mates the first time something terrible happened to them? How could he protect someone he would hurt because of his own bond? He was broken. Yongsun broke the healthy link they used to have, the one that made him believe that as long as they were together, nothing could happen to them. Namjoon now knew better than to believe in those words.

"Your name means nothing to us." Instead, Namjoon wished he had told her: "my name should mean nothing to you, please run away while you still can, I don't want to disappoint or hurt you and I know that I will." He had wished that his face didn't hold so many bad memories and so much hurt for her to physically gag as she recognized him. He saw it; the moment her eyes found him, she instantly recognized him and probably replayed the only moment they “shared” before their reunion. He saw it, the hurt, the distress, and the hatred. He wished it had been different, and here he was, desperately waiting for an answer from her, wishing that he could see her in real life just one more time. Wishing that he could tell her how his heart had been aching to find her, to let her in that day, and that he regretted every single word he uttered. Namjoon wished he could tell her that he threw up a few hours after everything because he felt sick with himself, unable to look at himself in the mirror without seeing the ghost of who he wished he could have been for his soulmates. Namjoon wished he could tell her that his heart never broke so hardly as after their bond broke, that he had been left with a lump in his throat, dried lips, and tears staining his cheeks. That despite the hurtful words that he spat at her, he never wished anything but happiness for her, even if it had to be without them.

Seeing her happy on a stage was everything he could have hoped for her. Her smile was always small but genuine. Namjoon lost a lot of himself when he rejected their last soulmate, taking the main burn of the rejection, as he had been the one to be so vehement about it. Taking Jungkook's and Jimin's anger, brushing Taehyung's and Seokjin's tears away, ignoring the pang in his heart each time Yoongi and Hoseok refused to talk to him, being the most awful person in (Y/N)'s eyes. He'd take it all, as long as it would mean that he could try to protect them all. He did it terribly, he could only agree with this. But Namjoon's goal had never changed. He just wanted to protect them all. He'd take all the blames, all the harsh words if they needed him to. He just wanted them happy. And if (Y/N) needed to hate someone in particular in their group, then so be it. He’d be this person, the one to say the harshest words to make sure that their bond would remain broken. He couldn’t let her close, she would die in their arms, and Namjoon would never allow that. Maybe it was only hypocritical because, in anyone else’s eyes, he left her to die alone. Everyone heard the terrible words he told her, the way he pushed her away and blocked her from entering their home. But no one saw that he never left the chair in front of the window in his room, fully dressed with a bottle of water in his bag, ready to get out as soon as everyone would be away to find (Y/N) and bring her to the nearest hospital. No one—not even Taehyung—saw his research about the effect of performing a medical bond on a soulmate, or performing a medical bond after having already survived one. No one had known that Namjoon had decided that if the break of the bond happened to be too much for her—and it was likely to be—he would be ready to put his life on the line to medically bond with her to make sure that she would survive. Because if he learned one thing from his research, it was that performing a medical bond twice was likely to turn out badly, not for the receiver, but for the giver. Yet Namjoon couldn’t care any less. He wouldn’t let one of his soulmates die, he promised himself he would save them all and he did. Even when he saw, right after what happened, Hoseok and Yoongi running out of the house under the rain, he sprung into action, not wanting anything to happen to either of them, especially after everything that Yoongi went through. It had been enough. Yoongi went back home alone that day, but no one, except the three of them, knew about that. And Namjoon would keep it this way as long as needed because it hadn’t been enough and it would never be enough to explain why he acted the way he did, even if he tried his best to protect everyone at once. Hoseok and Yoongi had made it clear that day; that what he was doing would never undo what he told and did to her and he agreed with them. He shouldn’t have put everyone in danger that way, and shouldn’t have talked to (Y/N) that way, but his younger self had not found any other solution. Maybe he should have worked harder to find a different way to solve the problem but he didn’t. But now that he knew that everyone—including (Y/N)—was expecting answers, maybe this part of the story would need to be told. (One day, he kept on telling himself, one day he’d be ready even if he tried to escape this moment as long as he could.)

Namjoon put deadlines for himself to become the man that their soulmates could be proud of and he felt like he already missed them all. He truly didn't believe that he could be that person anymore. His mother used to tell him that she was so proud of him, that he had a gorgeous heart but he found himself thinking that his heart was most likely buried under ashes, just like his dream life went up in smoke. It had been hard, but Namjoon had come to accept it; to accept that he'd never find his happy ending with his seven soulmates and that he needed to be someone he wouldn't want to be for the sake of everyone. He decided to do damage control as much as he could. He had needed to be the bad guy, the one who had to destroy their future with (Y/N) to make sure that their bond wouldn't act up even with the distance. Namjoon would take the worst role to play if it meant that the others could feel a bit lighter about the one they had to embody. His life had nothing of a play, but if he needed to become a bad character for the sake of his soulmates, he would. Namjoon would do anything to soothe everyone's pain and brush their guilt away. There was so much he wished he could do better, so many emotions he felt swiveling through the bond that he wished to soothe. Yet, Namjoon felt like the more he tried, the worst the outcome was. Trust with his soulmates was almost broken, always walking on a thin line with them.

Oh, how he wished that he could change that, that he could repair the broken trust between him and his soulmates and do something to bridge the cliff's gap that he once willingly widened as much as he could. And as much as Seokjin keep on telling him that it was never too late and that they could choose to become new people, he couldn't let himself believe that it could work. Not only because he was stubborn, but because Namjoon was afraid that he wouldn't be enough to repair the damages he caused. Powerless and useless was how he felt. How could he ever be enough for the soulmates he kept on hurting and that he let down more than once? How could he ever reduce the pain that he inflicted on their last soulmate, even if he tried his best to protect her? Namjoon did not have an answer to those questions and it terrified him. He might never be enough, why should he force himself into (Y/N)'s life when she obviously didn't want him to? Yoongi once told him that he had to fight for what he loved, but he kept on failing each time he tried.

However, Namjoon did not let himself linger on the thought; he kept on telling himself that he only did that to himself. He could have done it differently, he reminded himself plenty of times. And yet, he didn't. He ruined everything and the guilt was eating him alive. Nothing he did could ever alleviate the pain and despite Namjoon knowing that he had no right to think that way, sometimes, he wished that he died during Yongsun's episode instead of watching his worst nightmare become his new reality.

Jungkook came back to (Y/N)'s home with a sense of relief and exhaustion until he opened the front door and heard the distinct sound of glass (or tableware) breaking, instantly putting him on the edge. It threw him right back to that time with Yongsun when one of them said something she didn't like, she would throw a glass or a plate at them without caring about what they would need to buy again. It was always like that. She never cared about anything, only about her comfort and the way they made her feel. It was never the other way around. However, Jungkook tried to breathe as deeply as he could. He wasn't there anymore, and he would never be. The (Y/N) he met for real was not like that, was she?

Breath uneven and heart pounding in his chest, Jungkook entered as silently as possible the apartment, removing his shoes as quickly as he could with his trembling fingers. He berated himself; he needed to stop associating (Y/N) with Yongsun, but his head wasn't listening to him. He kept on hearing Yongsun’s high-pitched voice yelling at him despite his attempt of brushing it away. He physically knew that he wasn’t there anymore, but his brain couldn’t let him in peace. He needed to sleep or to see the real (Y/N) so that his brain would let go of Yongsun's image.

Staggering, he entered the kitchen with teary eyes, his breath even shorter than before, until his eyes found the blurry figure of his soulmate. She wasn't screaming, she wasn't throwing plates in anyone's face, no, she wasn't doing any of these things. Instead, she was simply standing in the middle of her kitchen, motionless, with pieces of glass in her hands. Jungkook let out a breath that he hadn't even noticed he had been holding until he noticed that (Y/N) was definitely not moving, it wasn’t just his eyes being annoying because he was on the verge of crying. Her eyes seemed to have caught something because her whole body was still. Carefully whipping his eyes, he tried to gauge (Y/N)'s expression until he noticed blood in her hands. Approaching cautiously, he wondered if she even heard him enter, with how out of it she seemed to be. He didn’t want to scare her if it was the case.

"(Y/N)?" His voice came out more shakily than he was hoping for it to be. "I'm… I'm back, what are you doing?" She finally looked up and Jungkook's heart stopped as he noticed a tear rolling on her cheek. What the hell had happened while he had been gone?

"I don't know, Jungkook… I don't know." Jungkook watched her throwing the pieces of glass away, washing carelessly her hands while not even looking at them.

"Are you okay?" His heart was still pounding but he tried not to let it overwhelm him. Her eyes caught his watchful gaze and she didn't need words to reply. Something had obviously happened, but Jungkook couldn't get what exactly.

"Did you know?" She simply asked, leaving him at a loss for words.

"Know what?"

"Why Namjoon was so hell-bent on rejecting me." Jungkook's eyes widened, so he told her? Did they talk? What did he say? Did he hurt her? Was that why she looked so broken right now?

"He told you? What did he say?"

"So you don't know."

"He never told us." She almost snorted but she seemed too tired to do so.

"You trusted him even if you didn't know?" His silence was enough for her to understand that she was right, "it doesn't matter, now. Maybe you should read this, though." Her eyes fell on a few documents on the table. They were scattered on the surface and Jungkook could spot some highlighted lines. It seemed like she had already gone through it and he wondered what it all meant.

"Namjoon's and Taehyung's names appear in the writers. So maybe you'd like to know that they know about all that mess." And so she left him with his shaking body and ragged breath while a headache started to make itself known. His panic attack might have been slightly avoided, but the turmoil in his heart didn't seem to be stopping any time soon as his eyes rested on the crumpled paper.

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Uploaded : 21/08/2022

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