Did you wasn't just a phenomenal boxer; he was also a master of mental warfare. His pre-fight trash talk and psychological tactics are legendary, demonstrating that boxing is as much a mental game as it is physical.#TheGreatest #MentalWarfare.
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Mental health in males.
Mental health in males is something I feel is strongly being misrepresented and misunderstood by society, and a major contributing factor to this post.
Let’s just start with the “modern” understanding of it, and a few quotes I hear fairly often;
“He’s putting too much pressure on himself”
“He needs to let people in”
“He won’t talk to us”
“It’s all in your head”
“He needs to get help”
“Ugh, he’s only being like this because it’s fashionable”
“It’s not even real”
As you can see,(based purely off of my own experiences) while society as a whole are more aware of people’s struggles with mental health issues, we have become far less able to handle those struggling with mental health with the correct care the require. Especially males.
Male suicides do now, and have done since the 90’s, account for over 3 quarters of all suicides every year in the UK.
So if as a society we’ve become more “woke”, why hasn’t this statistic changed in over 30 years?
Lets touch on the subject of how mental health is currently viewed. The medical understanding of mental health issues and how to deal with them, while advancing in the pharmaceutical sense, has massively back pedalled when it comes to the care and attention required to approach these subjects. Everything seems to be a very rushed, clinical to the point of excess, process, which if you aren’t interested in medicating (which a lot of guys aren’t), then the UK medical profession struggles to handle you. *I remember broaching my mental health issues with my Dr, to be told that they will not be offering a talking therapy if I do not atleast try the medication. I was astounded! I’m fully aware of why my mental health is as it is (as are many others) and I don’t think medicating myself to the point of emotional numbness is the way to truly battle the problems I have. I made this very clear, yet was still forced to accept a course of Citalopram. This illustrates to me a distinct lack of understanding. If you’re reading this as a medical professional, please, if a male comes into your surgery, and wants to talk about mental health , then do just that. Talk with him, make him feel like what he’s saying is heard, and matters.
Men spend so much time, being devalued at work, trying to be a stabilising presence in their home lives, trying to provide, trying to keep up friendships, maintain relationships, be the success’ they’re meant to be.... I could go on about all the modern pressures men face, but you get the idea. And yes I know women face the same pressures, however this clearly isn’t effecting women in the same way.
Even though the years have moved on, our attitudes towards “what make a man” really haven’t followed suit, atleast definitely not at the same rate. Women are far more accepting and understanding of other women, yet are very quick to tell a male to “man up”. And men do exactly the same to each other. Leaving a modern male no safe haven from this pressure of being the “man” society says they have to be.
List of qualities a “Man” should have (according to modern society) :-
-provider
-strong body
- unwavering mind
- few words to speak
- financially stable (minimum requirement)
- to be on a path to a great career or own business
- protector
- friend
- trustworthy
- Extensive knowledge of any DIY or manual task.
- fearless
- bold and brave
- Sensitive ( but not too sensitive)
- funny
- intelligent
These are all potentially damaging standards to live by as a lot of them limit each other or just down right conflict. These very standards have lead to a generation of males with brains so conflicted, they can’t even face some of the unimaginable things they’ve done just to try and uphold these standards.
This is why more** care needs to be taken when dealing with a male suffering with mental health issues. Listen to him, let him know his thoughts, feelings and fears are all real to him and important to you. Remember them and be mindful of them. Take the time to question what is making them feel like this? Is this out of their character? If so then ask them to talk a little more, help you to understand the things you don’t. I promise anyone reading this, that if you do that, you’ll quickly see all of his walls come down.
All anybody, male or female wants, is to be understood, to feel like they matter, to feel like somebody cares enough about them to remember the things they’ve said. Everyone just wants to feel loved, and those suffering with mental health issues should always be treated with love and understanding.
I hope whoever needs to see this, does. I hope I’m able to open just one persons eyes.
Always know showing your love will never be u welcome.
*based solely on my own experiences
** than is currently being taken
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The Reality of Suicide
I don't remember the day I became suicidal. I don't remember what the last straw was. I don't remember the first time I thought "I just don't want to be alive." But I do remember nearly jumping to my death at a concert. I remember being overwhelmed with the longing for death in that moment (and so many more). I remember being happy and still wanting to die. I remember laughter and joy and sadness and emptiness all in the same moment. I remember counting out ten pills before pouring the entire bottle in my hand. I remember laying down after taking those pills.... then waking up in the hospital two days later. Even in the happiest and best moments in my life I was suicidal. See, a smile doesn't mean "okay". Yes, I was happy. Yes, I was having fun. Yes, I was suicidal. I don't think of it as much as I use to. I don't get that overwhelming longing for death. I'm starting to see a future for myself... and just maybe I'm not suicidal anymore..
Suicide is the second leading cause of death for ages 10 to 35. Maybe, some of those suicides could've been prevented if a loved one in those peoples' lives had understood. Maybe, some of those people would still be with us if someone in their lives had saw the signs.
I'm proof that things can get better. I'm proof that suicide isn't always the answer. It's still a struggle. There are still bad moments. There are still suicidal thoughts. But for once in a very long time I want to be alive.
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