#me when I am no longer a teenager | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

seeingivy · 11 months

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#me when I am no longer a teenager #20!!!#live footage of me rn

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miss-celestia13 · 3 months

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“This is the final hour, the silence hovers where dark and light devour”

#it’s taken me longer to write this damn battle than it took for my boyfriend to propose to me when I was a teenager #I’d say never again #but it would be a lie #I am a glutton for punishment #chapter 30 #miss celestia 13 #moodboard #for later #I am not a woman I’m a god

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sistersorrow · 1 month

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A big part of why every single suicide prevention strategy fails to work on me is that I have absolutely no reason to trust a single thing anyone says

They have a single goal in mind (convince me to continue living) and because that goal is perceived as an objective good, pretty much anything is permitted in pursuit of said goal, including just outright lying

That isn't me exaggerating or anything, I've had plenty of people say outright that they will say literally anything if they think it'll convince me, whether or not they think its remotely true, so at the end of the day I have no reason to take a single thing they say as remotely trustworthy cause anything they can and often is a futile attempt at tricking me into doing what they want

#and that's when they bother to actually check what the problem even is #most of the time they just assume I'm a depressed teenager in southern California and work from there #I am perceived as inherently delusional so any description of my life is immediately dismissed as a cognitive distortion #I've been called a doomer for accurately describing the treatment of queer people in my country #also love how when they realise what they're doing doesn't help at all they just decide that must be entirely my fault #that or they say they no longer care about my problems then tell me to kill myself #cw suicide #depression #mental health

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girlwiththegreenhat · 2 months

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you ever hate on something you've never played/watched/read for what are still moderately good reasons given the circumstances, and then decide to go and play/watch/read the thing just to be fair. just to give it a chance

and then you were not only Right but its Worse Somehow and you're actually just more pissed off now

#liz blogs #vocaloid #this post is about project se\\kai. what a garbage ass replacement of project diva oh my god #i dont care about any of these random ass teenagers why does my vocaloid game have all these other guys in it #why are there 238928934 currencies why does it take so long to unlock new songs its just all too much and so convoluted #i wanted a rhythm game not a rhythm game that takes a backseat to visual novel and gacha game and watch 3298 ads #GET THIS OTHER BULLSHIT OUTTA HERE #i thought rhythm game on a touchscreen was a bad enough idea but i wanted to be FAIR because project diva doesnt get updated anymore #even though that was THE vocaloid game for a fucking decade and they replaced it with hot flaming dogshit oh my god #its just every other fucking mobile game im gonna start biting people #im in my Hater Year but i'm actually fucking right about everything aaaAAAAAAAAA #and look. i didn't play it for too long because it was just too fucking annoying and overwhelming. but it seems like you can only #play x amount of songs in a day before you run out of energy. which you need to Buy #you get more when you level up! it recharges! but it seems that it takes longer and longer to do that #thts the only Complaint i have that i cant actually verify because i would need to play longer and i am Not doing that #but if im right. thats the biggest load of shit of all #just go back to making project diva games. let me pay for the game so i can play interrupted without all this other BS in my face #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #the like... two little visual novel bits i saw that Just had vocaloids in them were cute. i will be real with u. but who are these like #six teams of random ass teenagers i dont know and dont care about. why did u put non vocaloids in da vocaloid game. are you nuts #maybe i just need to figure out how to mod project diva cuz at this point lord knows theyre not doing anything else with it #if you wanted to have other characters sega do u know how many Other vocaloids there are. you didnt have to invent random boring teenagers #pullin a fuckin transformers and backseating your Title Characters to a bunch of random ass humans im not here for #except you charlie watson from bumblebee i love you mwah

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jopzer · 7 months

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some of the takes on this webbed site. good lord you people will not be seeing the pearly gates

#beebles #cw james tartt #<- im about to start talking about my own relationship with abuse also #i understand where people come from when they talk about how maybe jamie forgiving james isnt the worst outcome #but. um. sorry #you want me to believe Ted was in the right here???#over Georgie?? the woman who's been dealing with james tartt sr longer than jamie's been alive??#sorry. i don't believe you.#like. obviously my relationship with abuse and with violence isnt the same as jamie's but its like #sometimes all you are to your parents is your successes #and when you don't succeed!!!!! lord help you!!!!!#and by succeed i of course mean only by their standards #i am full no contact with my mother for this exact shit #i cannot watch the jamie&georgie scene without getting chin wibbly about it because like #your father. he is who he is. and he is never ever ever going to change.#yeah. lol #sometimes all you give your parents are chances from the time you were barely a teenager and all they do is throw it back in your face #to put that up against ted being like nah. gotta forgive him. gotta do it for you big boy. idk #just feels so violently irresponsible to say to a victim of abuse #and i talked about this already but it is also deeply in character for ted in the least malicious way possible #he worked so hard to forgive his father for what he did. jamie may benefit from that same forgiveness #but its just so fucking ridiculous to show jamie giving him Another chance even after we've seen every attempt blow up in his face #maybe im just like. sensitive about abuse narratives and how they fucking ALWAYS have to end up in forgiveness for some god forsaken reason #but fuck that ending dude. sometimes going no contact fucking sucks balls and its also the only thing you can do for Yourself #interpret the text however you want but if you think james tartt deserved the grace of forgiveness you are fucking wrong #disrespectfully #idk. idk! none of this makes sense probably we are going through a category five Moment with my own mother rn so maybe i am extra sensitive

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captainsweet · 10 months

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This is just going to be me ranting about something that particularly annoys me, so don't take it too seriously, but it drives me up a metaphorical wall.

But, the thing is, I just finished reading some new parts of a Rise fic I really liked, it was funny, and a good story sure, until I saw the word 'twin' be thrown around about five times in one chapter.

I honestly thought I was exaggerating, so I continued, and the word 'twin' just kept on appearing. So I just decided to count how many times it comes up just to see if I was being crazy, y'know?

In the course of a couple of chapters, the word, 'twin' is thrown around 64 different times. Not accounting for any notes, tags, or the latest chapter they posted since it wasn't an official one.

To make this clearer, the word twin, referring to Rise Donnie and Leo specifically, was mentioned 64 different times. One chapter holding 13 mentions of them being twins alone.

Now, I don't know why in the world it needed to be mentioned 64 different times, but hey, it's none of my business. And I really wouldn't be bothered if being twins wasn't their one specific trait, especially around each other.

And it only gets worse in the new chapters. Everytime they mention each other it's like they are incapable of not calling the other their twin, and.. this thing annoys me to my goddamn core.

It doesn't matter, I know that, but it's so annoying to see people make Donnie and Leo being twins their one special thing even though they're not even twins in the dang show. Normally that wouldn't bother me, and it doesn't, but for you to reduce a character to a trait they canonically don't even have is just bizarre.

I'm not gonna mention the writer, and I hate criticizing writers or artists like this in general, but it's so unbelievably mind numbing to see Donnie and Leo get reduced to being twins over and over again as if it actually matters? All it is, is the day they were born. That's it! That's all, yet so many people are obsessed with making it an important factor?

They are so much more than just twins, and have so much more to them than a couple of traits in the show. Yet so many people just, ignore that? Especially in some fics?

Not to mention in the particular story, Raph and Mikey hardly ever appear unless it's for the same couple of jokes, and just leaves me longing for more development on them but nope! Gotta shove some more twin content in there!

I have absolutely no problem with people liking the Disaster Twins, and making stories centered around them, but they are so much more than just twins, and so much more than their relationship with each other. They have other family members too, acknowledge them.

This is not only with this particular author, this has happened multiple times and it's just plain annoying. If you like Leo and Donnie more, just say that. There's no reason you should add their brothers in, and then just discard them to the point they don't even seem like they are siblings anymore. They're just close friends at that point, and it's just angering for me.

I don't see it all that much anymore, but so many people still make Leo and Donnie being 'twins' in Rise this big thing when they aren't even twins, and probably wouldn't mention the fact they are if they weren't explaining their ages because it literally means nothing in the end. They're just brothers that happened to be born on the same day, that's it.

I'm not a twin myself, so I obviously can't speak for actual twins, but even the twins I've known personally hardly mentioned the fact they were twins other than to make a couple of jokes here and then. In no world should them being twins be so important to you that it's mentioned 64 different times. That's just insane.

It is different than simply having a sibling, I get that. Being twins is definitely different in a way, and comes with different experiences, but it should never be that important to the point they mention it 13 TIMES IN ONE CHAPTER.

Skipping past the slightly serious part, 64 different times?? Would they, like, forget if they didn't say it? Fr 13 times in one conversation? I don't think I've even done that with my proclaimed Twin before, because that's, that's just crazy.

#I truly mean no hate to the author I'm talking about. And I honestly have no real problems with their story I just find it annoying now #There's practically a twin joke every chapter and it's no longer funny at this point it's just expected.#I'm probably going to stop reading it but I just really get annoyed when chacters are reduced to specific traits. like they're so much more #And Raph and Mikey are practically just side characters compared to Leo and Donnie? I literally could not tell you their personalities #They're like ghosts. Hallucinations. Hardly there. And it's kind of sad because of how often people do that and ugghh #I have so many thoughts.#But really this was something that just bothered me and I decided to get it out because it happens so much #tmnt #rottmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #stupid rant #sorry for the rant #rant #I'd live input because I feel like ass saying this.. but my main gripe is people reducing Donnie and Leo to being twins #“It's because they're twins!” HUH? Honey that's quite literally magical that has nothing to do with their twinnage please explain #If I'm in the wrong I'll admit it but I don't think I am so that's why this is just something that annoys ME and I hate encountering #If people love them being twins snd make something centered around it that's awesome and I've loved some stuff like that myself!#But they aren't ONLY twins and seeing this story mention the favt they were at every turn practically reduced them to nothing BUT twins #Raph and Mikey are sidelined so much it's crazy and it feels like they hardly exist sometimes compared to Leo snd Donnie who always appear #That's all really. It's just annoying. That's it so I ranted about it. I'm just going to draw more after this tbh #Okay.. actually much hate to the author because they're a TCESTER and blocked me which was very nice of them so.. yeah #Just don't hate on other people who do what I said in the main post but THAT WAS A PLOT TWIST I BEVER SAW COMING I'LL SAY THAT #I no longer feel bad for making fun of them this is the greatest turn of events that could've ever happened to me LMAO #But genuinely I still see that twin stuff a lot past the weirdo so I feel I'm still valid #long rant

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sortarapunzel · 1 year

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absolutely incorrigible behavior in this house tonight <- watching the voltron german dub and enjoying it

#if me from 10 years ago could see me now she'd be so confused #all she knew of german dubs was that they turned benjamin coddersnatchs voice into a normalman tenor in sherlock #but also... voltron... whew its bringing back memories #the english dub... its Such a kids show oh my god how did we ever think it was going to go where we thought it would #the animation does slay though. when the characters move it slays #the german dub sort of smooths out the kids show vibes #it also smooths out keith which is really funny #og keith is so like. im punk. im gruff. im voiced by steven yeun. meanwhile german keith is just kind of tired?#german keith has been through some shit and you can hear it. hes no longer a weirdly deepvoiced teenager hes now a weirdly worldly teenager #(and a tenor. of course. bc no german dub is complete without a complete swap of vocal range for the men) (I've honestly gotten used to it)#(highpitched sam winchester is the superior sam winchester and you can fight me on this)#already growing so attached to the german voices that the og english sounds weird to me. i am 10 minutes into the first episode #german dubs are superior!! i can't explain it!! even though the acting is so dry in comparison to the og...#idk what it is i just like how they interpret the characters #og hunk is hard to beat tho ill give him that. german hunk is good but og hunk is great #german lance is WAYYY less cocky lmao he sounds way more unsure of himself when he's delivering those bravado-ass lines #pidge is just. a woman though. it's kind of offputting #you literally cant beat bex taylor klaus at voicing pidge like. they were practically Made for the role #but to have just a normalvoice woman voice pidge is so odd #anyway the translation is also great. lance calls hunk a genius giantfart (genialer riesenfurz) instead of a gassy genius #instead of 'well‚ congratulations'‚ keith tells lance 'welp‚ congrats‚ dude' (Tja‚ Glückwunsch‚ man)#at hearing he got his place in the pilot class #which is such a small change but im obsessed with it #anyway. back to the incorrigible behavior #voltron #junos

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trashbatistrash · 1 year

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#the only good to thing to come of this damned hyperfixation is that it helped me solidify a proper backstory for one of my characters #only because of my dumb brainrot about death and having to live with the consequences of that as someone who is no longer dead #I have this character that’s always been called Dead in all my iterations of them #she’s supposed to be the Frankenstein archetype of my supernatural slice of life thing I made when I was a teenager #and then I decided that oh I could take these characters and put them in a more high stakes action packed storyline #I decided to be predictable #as a trans person myself I found myself interested in Frankenstein monster allegories #and I pretty much used her to explore that one thing I’m always yapping about #parents of trans people mourning the previous iteration of them like they’re dead when when the individual is still there #specifically this #but like #Dead was literally brought back to life so now I’m worried it’s gonna muddy the waters a bit #she was already not going to be the same person they mourned. she doesn’t have her memories of them #just the base personality of their deceased child which has been tightly closeted for the previous iterations entire life #idk am I elevating transness to this pedestal if I explore it through the lens of rebirth and recreation?#then again I do have like a more mundane trans character in this cast too so maybe that balances it out?#like Dell is just there. and he didn’t have any family left alive when he transitioned so I didn’t think there was anything to add #I’m overthinking o(-(#OC stuff #OC brainrot #ramble

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pinkcadillaccas · 12 days

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Anyone else feeling the relentless march of time on this Saturday night

#sat on the bus going home from my second to last shift at this job #saw lots of people at work that used to know me for my old job that i absolutely loved and did for 6 years #and i was describing why i know all these people to my coworkers and i was like oh my god thats not me anymore #thats who i used to be what the fuck #and this is the same bus journey that ive been doing for three years #on the same bus ive taken since i started taking the bus #its the same journey but im so different #and im moving into a different phase of life again #how many times have i sat on this bus #how many times have i sat in this seat #how many times have i driven this route how many me's #I've literally moved to the big city and moved back and i am irrevocably changed and im looking at the same shops out of fo the window #everything is the same but so different #since i started taking this bus i have changed so much that i would not recognise myself in the mirror #my boss said 'dont be a stranger' sir i am a stranger to myself #how long can i not be a stranger #how long can you try and keep up with the dregs of your old life until it no longer fits #how long can you keep coming back until it becomes somewhere unrecognisable. or you become unrecognisable #how do you mourn losing something of yourself when it happens so slowly and you dont realise it until its been dead and buried for years #do you ever find yourself falling into old thought patterns and finding that you have no conviction #the you who started thinking that is gone. you dont feel this way. but you did #even just about a band you like. or a snack you always used to buy before school #one of my essays this term could have been about humes view that we dont have a concrete self #and i just thought how am i supposed to answer that #how am i supposed to say no hes right there is no continuous self. i know this because i am filled with ghosts #because i look in the mirror and part of me tries to look through the eyes of teenage me #just to wonder what they would think #and i cant do it. because we are so far apart that they are not me #i am clinging on to friends and places as though i am someone that i am not because rhe ghost of a child inside me demands it #even if the words are hollow and the feelings are long gone

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brightbluekicks · 15 days

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senior year is like. fucking reruns. like when a show is ending and they bring back all the old recurring characters. why am i doing my calculus classwork sitting across from a boy who i learned my times tables with in third grade.

#he sits there looking over at me in all his 5 feet and 8 inches of normal teenage boy and i remember when he had missing front teeth and was #the shortest boy in our class. i remember your older sister. i remember that your birthday was after mine. i remember the sweatshirt you #wore at the age of 10. why are you going off to college? why am i? can we stay young a little bit longer?#txt #its actually breaking my heart guys you have no idea

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rinielelrandir · 2 months

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Nothing like uncovering levels of mental illness you hadn't realized you'd reached while sorting through stuff to move. Next therapy session in 3 weeks (cause move and my therapist is on vacation) should prove interesting :)))))

#i'm fine atm #but hot damn was teenage me Not Okay & I should probably talk about that with someone #bc it has yet to be properly addressed #also have more to add to the ongoing 'I was very much failed by the public school system & the adults in my life in spectacular ways' file #brought to you by discovering that at 16 i thought it important to save things such as a psat student guide #which i again kept at 18 when heading off to college #and again at 23 when i moved out of my parents house for the first time #and only just threw away now #i am 32 and this was a 17 year old psat guide book #why did i keep it at all let alone this long???#great question #i'd love to tell you #but i don't have an answer #i don't know why i kept things like that or “all of the decorations from my 16th birthday party”#but i *did*#and while they were not in this particular box i remember also keeping 'every magazine i got from age 10 until i graduated high school'#and like damn i knew i was autistic and mentally ill #but this is extreme #i felt *guilty* throwing away the damn psat booklet and it's for a version of the test they no longer give!!!#“what if i want it again?”#hey me i can absolutely promise that won't happen #you won't want your high school id either #pls chill & speak with a therapist

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inkskinned · 7 months

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what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?

i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?

a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?

in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.

girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.

there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.

for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.

something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.

is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.

most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."

a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.

#warm up #writeblr #this one has bothered me for a bit #any time a woman does something even passingly annoying we treat it like a fucking crime #hey man. women are allowed to be annoying. everyone forever is allowed to be passingly annoying #as long as they aren't hurting anyone/thing #like u wanna know something? i find it super annoying that men don't wear seatbelts #why arent there thousands of comments on driving videos thats just like : men try not to die in a car crash challenge #''this briefly annoyed me''. okay??????? AND????????????????? go get ur self a cookie and calm down about it #ur not entitled to control other ppl's experiences and emotions just so u can maintain ur own peace #if being briefly annoyed ruins ur whole day! you! need! therapy!!!!#men try not to become immediately angry about nothing challenge: level impossible #ps author is nonbinary. we didn't even get into the gender presentation thing #the fact men think it's SEXY that my voice is on the lower end....

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arolesbianism · 4 months

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Impulsively read the most recent Kanade story and oh boy. Hooo boy. Thoughts and feelings

#rat rambles #sekai posting #I almost cried like five times godddddd I love kanade so much its insane #ok so. lets start with the positives #I am so fucking happy that they finally did an event like this. kanade has been in desperate need of any kind of character arc progression #and generally I rly like how kanade is written in this event!#I loved watching her just like. think to herself.#and I loved watching baby kanade be scary but also very adorable and the fact that she self taught herself cordes is sooo delightful #it also is yet again more insight into how kanade became the person she is today and also a wonderful look into how kanade views these #time and time again when kanade thinks about being happy and being loved its when her mom was alive #but its not just abt her mom being alive its also about her dad being so genuinely happy #its about her dad taking care of her and comforting her and being happy and it's just!! aughhh!!!!#I love that kanade doesnt just forgive herself just like that. she still blames herself so much and deals with self loathing.#butttt. that sorta leaves me to my nitpicks. I rly wish someone would just hug this kid and tell her its not her fault so that I can feel #secure in the sekai writers not actually buying the idea that its in any way kanade's fault #like it is in no way her fault that her dad formed an inferiority complex around his teenage daughter.#Im not saying its his fault either Im saying its no ones fault #they get close in this event to saying that tbf so Im not like pessimistic again its a nitpick #and the other thing is that Im not quite a fan of the conclusion but not in any huge way #just in a god this better be another step in a much longer character arc sorta thing #also Im trying to make my peace with the song to save mafuyu thing since I know theyre never dropping it #but god its so hard when it feels like the only satisfying way to do it is in a slow burn where at the end mafuyu realizes the slow burn #basically yknow how at the beginning mafuyu was upset at the prospect of kanades music only saving them a little?#I want them to realize that all of these little steps forward Did save them #that even if one song couldnt fix everything the fact that all of these songs have been there to help guide them did so much for them #I want the song that 'saves' them to be a song that makes them realize they Were saved #they survived. theyre living. and they want to keep living.#I want the penultimate kanade song to be a song of realization #oh also other negative no singing baby kanade worst event /j

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simonstamenovic · 5 months

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i dont respect twn its simply the best thing ive got. i dont remember a single thing from that show happening except perhaps a couple "scenes" displaced from any sense of coherent time. and i will admit that man is nice to look at...

#that teenager is infecting me... i am not typing like that for the love of... anything quite frankly.#bloodletting #i am fairly certain we listened to the first (two?) witcher books however i literally remember nothing.#it is all something of a moot point. i do remember magic and dying + coming back to life + living a good deal longer #ill watch the hexer sometime... you neednt tell me #time management is atrocious when nothing can be agreed upon and nobody stays up front recently for more than a week at most

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cosmicdreamgrl · 7 months

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#if i thought i was wrong about how i've changed this year #i take it back #i had a conversation with a friend a few days ago #and i remember saying that what i see in this space no longer serves present me #maybe it did when i was a teenager and still in the prime of being a fangirl #and perhaps people would like that version of me a lot more in this context #it's also the reason why i refrain from talking to anyone here #everyone's nice but i'm acutely aware of how alienated i am #i can't take the emotions that come with not reacting/thinking the way everyone else does #i'm not that anymore #i never will be and sometimes being here makes me think why y'know #why am i still in a predominantly fan dominated space #it's complicated though because i do love the people i've met here #i just couldn't be more of a black sheep and it's showing more & more as of late #hence the occasional urge to delete my blog & say goodbye to the internet forever #*sighs*#what is adulthood if not a different set of growing pains

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deadsetobsessions · 4 months

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Damian Wayne was like a duckling. A violent, stab-happy, danger-prone duckling, yes, but a duckling all the same. Which means when Danny almost got stabbed by a sleepy, instinct driven Damian, he was able to wave it off with a laugh. Damian, on the other hand, stared in horror at the butter knife firmly lodged in Danny’s arm.

“PENNYWORTH!” Danny jerked back at Damian’s scream. “RICHARD! FATHER!”

God damn, the kid had a pair of lungs on him. Danny’s wince was interpreted as pain to Damian, who gently grabbed his injured arm and started to pull him towards the kitchen’s marble island.

Danny blinked, non plussed as his hearing picked up a thundering of feet as the present family members scrambled towards Damian’s distress call.

“Wait, Damian, I’m fine. It’s-”

“You have been impaled, you imbecile! Had it been any of the other simpletons, they would have-!”

“Ouch.” Danny put his other hand in mock hurt over his slow-beating heart. He literally doesn’t care about the butter knife. He’s just impressed there was enough force in there to impale him. “Are you calling me names now? After- gasp- stabbing me?”

Before Damian could reply, the beginnings of regret, remorse, and guilt on his face, Alfred, Dick, and Bruce burst into the kitchen.

“What happened?!”

“My word, master Danny!”

“What is it?!”

“I’m fine. It’s like a small stab. Not even a big stab. I’m good.”

Dick paled, seeing Danny’s arm clutched in Damian’s hand.

“That’s- that’s a knife. In your arm. How is that ‘fine’?!”

“What happened.” Bruce asked Damian, gently removing Danny’s arm from Damian’s death clutch.

“I- I did not mean to,” Damian starts, guilt coloring his voice.

“He didn’t,” Danny cuts in. “I startled him and got stabbed for being dumb. I won’t fault him for having a defense mechanism like that, ancient knows what I might do if you guys startled me.”

The awkward silence that settled at his words made Danny twitch awkwardly.

“Uh, so, can I add this knife to my collection? Even if I didn’t get mugged?”

“Danny.”

“Bruce.” Danny stared stubbornly back. With his uninsured hand, he patted Damian on the head. He was going to enjoy the fluffiness before Damian’s guilt was no longer enough to hold him back from snapping at Danny’s hand like a grumpy alligator. Bruce loses, obviously. He’s a teenager who was also an ex-vigilante. Batman’s got nothing on a determined halfa.

“Master Danny, I must insist you refrain from getting stabbed. There is only so much gauze and antiseptic cream in the house.” Alfred returned- huh, when did he leave?- with a med kit.

Danny called bullshit because he knows there’s a whole ass medical bay beneath the manor.

“Sorry.”

“No need to apologize.” Alfred said, promptly beginning the extraction of the butter knife.

“Are you okay?” Dick asked, hovering worriedly. “He- are you…?”

Damian was allowing Danny to ruffle his hair, so…

“Yep, I’m good. This isn’t even on my top thirty most painful stabbings,” and it really wasn’t. That honor was given to the GIW and that one time Jazz accidentally stabbed him with her earrings. “That was pretty impressive, actually. It’s like, a butter knife. The other ones had pointy ends.”

“Do not clump me with those pathetic wastes of spaces. I am naturally superior and would… would never harm you on purpose.” Damian said, getting quiet at the end like he was trying to plead to Danny to believe him.

“Of course not. But- if you want help me keep the knife, you can hit me with a mug, it would technically be a mugging.”

The pun got the desired effect. Damian leaned away with a disgruntled look and Dick stopped hovering as close in order to let out a small cackle.

“Done.”

“You should go get changed, kiddo. We’re going to see Tim’s photography at the Gotham Gallery today.”

“Oh, for real?” Danny patted Damian’s fluffy hair one last time, pushing away from the counter. “Oh, I’ll clean up here first and-”

“That will not be necessary,” Alfred scolded, a mop somehow already in his hands. “Please see to it you are prepared for the day.”

“Thanks, Alfred. Can I keep the knife.”

“Very well.”

“Sweet. See you guys later?” Danny pranced off after seeing the nods.

——

“He’s… he got stabbed a lot. Before us, I mean.” Dick tapped a furious rhythm onto the counter. “Not that we’ve stabbed him until now but even once is concerning for a civilian.”

“He was used to it.” Bruce replied.

“Perhaps we should join Todd in his endeavor and ensure that his worthless tormentors are permanently out of the picture.”

“God, he said top thirty. He was counting.”

Damian silently withdrew a kitchen knife.

“No murder with my quality chef’s knives, Master Damian.”

“Tt.”

“Master Jason follows the same rules. Now, out of the kitchen. I may be old, but I remember the last time master Bruce and master Dick stepped foot in here and I will not have a repeat.”

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