i just spent an hour and a half writing about my teenage years in depth and deleted it all. i don’t really need to tell people. i just need to know that it happened and that i am not better for it.

what doesn’t kill you doesn’t always make you stronger at all. i am not whole. i am not a functioning adult. people can be weak and vulnerable without that being shameful. it isn’t my responsibility to make something beautiful out of the pain others have inflicted upon me.

actually I have beef with the concept of being mean to harmless people you find weird.

Stupid rant but WHY CANT STRICKLER’S VOICE JUST BE THE CLASSIC BRITISH ACCENT EHDIICIEJWJXIDUWHEKCJURBRBRBBRKQIEIEIDH???? WHY MUST HE GO OUT OF HIS WAY TO SOUND POSHIER??? IT’S SO HARD TO REMEMBER HOW HIS VOICE IS AND I’VE SAVED THIS RANT LONG ENOUGH. WHY. WHY MUST HE BE DIFFERENT FLAVOR OF BRITISH? BRITISH HAVE ONLY ONE FLAVOR IN FOOD: BOILED. WHY CANT HE JUST HAVE THE TRADITIONAL ACCENT PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I CANT TAKE THIS MUCH LONGER

I noticed that everyone i know lmk oc's is amazing, cute and awsome while me i have a cannabalistic lego bird who can regenerate, a 6'5 foot lesbian women and her feral tiger gf, mr. Gay daddy issues, a 17 years old with a bird nest for a hair and a demon whos powers is just controlling the weather. Yeah they suck cuz they don't even fit as a lmk oc 😭

I like to imagine them in gruesome scenarios

opinions on the whip and nae nae

I HATE IT WITH EVERY ATOM IN MY BODY IN 3rd GRADE I WOULD HEAR THAT SONG RELENTLESSLY AND THEY WOULD FORCE US TO DO THE DANCE I HATE THAT SONG MORE THAN ANYTHING IF U PLAY THAT IN FRONT OF ME I WILL LITERALLY SHOUT AT YOU OR SPEAK VERY STERNLY TO TURN IT OFF

I don’t ever think we could be friends again but I do miss how we used to be.

I hope you’re doing better from your trauma, and hopefully I will be too someday.

*shakes you the viewer violently* I'm getting into sonic HELP

Eggman is gay I say nothing more.

Here's my proof:

Credit: Mario & Sonic Olympics (2008 for the Wii)

There's more examples but this is my first exposure.

Also:

Anyways-

How are you guys today?

I've had a bad day because my computer isn't working 💀

I litrerally can't play my favourite game 😭

Random English things that give me heart burn (from a former English major, journalism minor, linguistics minor, current library sciences student, and writer)

Past tense of "pet" is "petted?" I'd rather die than say, "I petted the dog last night."

Why are there two spellings of gray? Gray and grey? No reason. Hate it.

All the different ways you have to write out titles in formal writing. Is it italicized? Is it in quotations? WHICH WORDS DO I CAPITALIZE?

Silent letters are actually the devil. I know where they all are, but when a child is confused why "phone" is spelled like THAT. They're right and I wish I could tell them that they're right.

"There, their, and they're" is just unnecessary. I think we could've figured something else out at least for ONE of those.

The fact that Americans say "zee" and other English speaking countries say "zed." Nothing is wrong with either of them but the "zee" thing rhymes and that might explain it?

"I before E except after C, or else as an A as in neighbor or weigh" is FAKE. It's a dirty lie. "Weird?" "Heist?!" "CONSCIENCE?!"

"A" and "An" is just superfluous. Like come on. Choose one.

Contranyms up the wazoo (words with two opposite meanings: dust, cleave, etc.)

I have more but I think this rant has gone on long enough. English, you're my beautiful disaster.

You guys remember when Vanessa was built up to be the main villain? You were remember how hyped you were when it seemed like we were going to get a cool, awesome murder rabbit lady?

You remember when steel wool decided that actually an end of skeleton that you have to read 7 books to even understand and has literally no personality/motivation would be a way cooler character?

i’m glad that the people who draw the south park kids as my little ponies all seem to agree thay kyle is a unicorn, and cartman and kenny are earth ponies. thats very important to me that its accurate. stan ive seen be either a pegasus or earth pony, personally i think pegasus suits him.

i can’t help but always find myself competing for the love and attention of strangers. i want to be loved by the whole world. i want to belong to everyone who knows me. i want to be the last girl on earth but i strand myself on another planet.

gotg rant (slight gotg3 spoilers)

Am I the only one who finds it kinda wierd that we never semi-explored the grief the other guardians felt when Gamora died? (besides Peter, Groot and Nebula)

In Endgame, we get Rocket telling Thor this whole speech of how he lost the only family he never had. He mentions Drax, Groot, Peter and Mantis yet doesn’t mention Gamora. 

And sure, it makes sense because unlike the other 4, he can’t get Gamora back, but idk maybe he could’ve related his personal expiriences with permanent loss to Thor and how it’s useless to try and stop those losses.

Or idk...maybe when Nebula came back, Rocket most likely asumed at that time that Gamora died from the snap too, so I would have liked to see Rocket’s reaction as well as Nebula’s change of demeanor when she broke the news to him about it. 

Drax developed a familiar bond with Gamora, at first he literally was set on killing her and hated her for the relation to Thanos, but his views on her changed and she became someone he trust as well as someone he calls family. 

So seeing him in gotg3 somewhat jokingly saying how Gamora is dead to him and the rest of the guardians was sorta wierd to me? 

As for Mantis, I can see her being the least affected by the loss considering she knew Gamora the least so I don’t complain to much there.

But overall, I hope im not the only one who found it wierd how no one else but Peter, Nebula and Groot were phased by Gamora’s return whatsoever and saw it as a everyday occurence. 

Like she loved them so much and everyone considered each other family when they were alive...idk its strange.

A delectably light room for me to sleep in

My star projector barely made any light anymore, so i turned on the lamp. Maybe i won't have nightmares tonight??

Just discovered via looking into fandom stuff that not only there is deluxe transcripts but that in it is revelead that Jon WRITES IN THE MARGIN OF THE STATEMENTS. And yes I would love to have money to see what he wrote but also this is THE MOST UPSETTING THING TMA EVER DID TO ME. I hope he is AT LEAST not using a pen but I doubt it.

He is ruining the documents!!!! Jon, you piece of shit, you're an archivist, take your notes in a separated notebook if you want them so damm much but for god sake your job is to PRESERVE these documents. And the worst part is that the best archivist option, the person more suitable for the job, is Sasha with THE STAPLER.

Elias the motherfucker son of bitch, never hired a fucking actual archivist in his life, there isn't a single person on that building with a diploma in library science or archieval science, there isn't even a history graduate!! I'm not even apt to be an archivist and I'm seething, imagine an actual archivist omg. Jonah the shitthead manwhore piece of actual garbage bet he doesn't even know what an archivist does. He hired the most incopetent bitches and now there is scribbles in the archivals, that's the consequence of putting a bunch of researchers in an archieve and hopping they will figure shit out, they won't they will just do research!!

Over the past few days it has gone from 'funny' to genuinely distressing how few shoe brands make women's shoes in a UK9 or US11. Not stock, MAKE. I understand stores not stocking women's shoes in that size because it is an uncommon size but the fact that some brands don't even make shoes that large, that shoes that I like in my size don't even exist is really disheartening. I am not a very fashionable person. Until very very recently, I have worn almost exclusively sneakers, work boots and thongs, but I am attempting to expand my fashion horizons and part of that is finding fashionable shoes. I went to NINE (9) seperate stores looking for some simple flats. Six of those stores didn't have shoes in my size. Two of them did carry shoes in my size but only on an order in basis, meaning I'd have to pay for the shoes without even first trying them on (and if they don't fit or they're uncomfortable than tough luck, there goes over a hundred dollars). I found one pair of shoes in my size that was kind of what I was looking for, if I squinted and tilted my head but they were $300. I looked online, scouring multiple sites and I literally can't find shoes in the style I want in my size. If I was a single size smaller I wouldn't have this problem. I'd have eighteen reasonably priced options to choose from. But I am not a size smaller so now I have to try to find a style of men's or unisex shoes that will fulfill the same purpose. I know this is a silly little first world problem but this is the first time I am making an actual effort into looking nice, into cultivating a wardrobe full of clothing that fit me well, are comfortable and that I enjoy wearing and I am pairing each of these fun new outfits with... a pair of plain black sneakers because when I went up to the counter with a pretty pink pair I really liked I was told they didn't sell those in my size, that the only women's shoes in my size were all prefectly utilitarian black on black on black, it kind of makes me wonder 'what's the point?'