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#GET THIS OTHER BULLSHIT OUTTA HERE
girlwiththegreenhat · 2 months
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you ever hate on something you've never played/watched/read for what are still moderately good reasons given the circumstances, and then decide to go and play/watch/read the thing just to be fair. just to give it a chance
and then you were not only Right but its Worse Somehow and you're actually just more pissed off now
#liz blogs#vocaloid#this post is about project se\\kai. what a garbage ass replacement of project diva oh my god#i dont care about any of these random ass teenagers why does my vocaloid game have all these other guys in it#why are there 238928934 currencies why does it take so long to unlock new songs its just all too much and so convoluted#i wanted a rhythm game not a rhythm game that takes a backseat to visual novel and gacha game and watch 3298 ads#GET THIS OTHER BULLSHIT OUTTA HERE#i thought rhythm game on a touchscreen was a bad enough idea but i wanted to be FAIR because project diva doesnt get updated anymore#even though that was THE vocaloid game for a fucking decade and they replaced it with hot flaming dogshit oh my god#its just every other fucking mobile game im gonna start biting people#im in my Hater Year but i'm actually fucking right about everything aaaAAAAAAAAA#and look. i didn't play it for too long because it was just too fucking annoying and overwhelming. but it seems like you can only#play x amount of songs in a day before you run out of energy. which you need to Buy#you get more when you level up! it recharges! but it seems that it takes longer and longer to do that#thts the only Complaint i have that i cant actually verify because i would need to play longer and i am Not doing that#but if im right. thats the biggest load of shit of all#just go back to making project diva games. let me pay for the game so i can play interrupted without all this other BS in my face#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#the like... two little visual novel bits i saw that Just had vocaloids in them were cute. i will be real with u. but who are these like#six teams of random ass teenagers i dont know and dont care about. why did u put non vocaloids in da vocaloid game. are you nuts#maybe i just need to figure out how to mod project diva cuz at this point lord knows theyre not doing anything else with it#if you wanted to have other characters sega do u know how many Other vocaloids there are. you didnt have to invent random boring teenagers#pullin a fuckin transformers and backseating your Title Characters to a bunch of random ass humans im not here for#except you charlie watson from bumblebee i love you mwah
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zeb-z · 5 months
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Bad has so many reasons to be cautious, even paranoid, as anyone else on the island. From Federation nonsense to Dapper being kidnapped to the whole purgatory nonsense to whatever fuckass suit of armor “old friend” was setting up cameras in his house. But it compounds on his regular overly aware paranoid self to this state of hyper-paranoia. And as a demon who can and usually will lie, cheat, steal, and use sneaky underhanded tactics, he expects the craziest extent because he thinks of it, realizes it’s possible, and would use it himself. We saw this very obviously in purgatory - when he thought greens desperate last ditch effort to balance the scale was a super planned out tactic to tip the scale, so he did it first, all the hardcore base hunting, the spawn killing, there’s a reason every other tactic he used usually followed a main channel qsmp post with updated rules - all usually things he was surprised no one else thought of. But then this also piles onto the fact that he has to have things go his way, all the time, and that he’s argumentative as all get out, which led to the debate between him and Bagi yknow. Especially because he’s not just doing it for the sake of being right, he doesn’t think he’s paranoid, but that he’s exercising the right amount of caution.
So like. Listen dude. Yeah he’s got reasons to be paranoid. But his thought process around building vaults for separate cookie caches like they locked up the risus pills, only to scrap it because it’s not perfectly impenetrable, is extreme. His character has hardly been a leading example in someone who has reasonable reactions to things. And even when there isn’t his own children’s livelihoods potentially on the line, he has a need for control, and the most control he has is if he keeps the cookies in his inventory at all times. If he makes himself the sole point in which the others can get ones in a case of emergency, then he can control the variables. The problem is he’s unreliable about himself when he’s at his most rational and healthiest, and he’s far worse with the current memory and health issues he’s been mostly unaware of.
I dunno it’s like. There is never going to be a purely impenetrable base. And it’s not just a case of “Bagi just hasn’t lived through __ yet!”. Bad’s own logic about keeping the cookies on him at all times is flawed under his own logic, because Bagi is right - if someone has enough drive to break into separate secured cookie caches purely for the downfall of eggs, they more than certainly have enough drive to find a way to kill Bad and just take them from his inventory, or to just kill the eggs themselves. All it truly does is give Bad a sense of control, and soothe his paranoia.
#everyone let’s remember rurus’ tweet about bad NOT being in the blunt rotation. he would try to pluck cameras out of your eyes. and he will#make it seem like it’s the most reasonable thing to do in that moment#now this is more me complaining about shit I’ve been seeing on Twitter in the tags <3 love and peace but I’ve got beef#side note - to say the people who are commenting on qBad’s paranoia or this and that are all newcomers who just ‘weren’t there to experienc#-the dark times’ or ‘weren’t there for the egg deaths/nightmares’ like you are not immune to the way bbh can make something seem so#reasonable#he’s got his own reasons to be paranoid. and most everyone agreed that the base idea of a ‘cookie jar’ would need rethinking with security#but to say qBagi (or Jorge’s/other viewers) is shortsighted or naive. when qBad is THE definition of paranoia. of overreacting. like#qBad’s reaction extends from a mixture of care hyper paranoia and trauma response (which is half that hyper paranoia)#and he will pick and pick and pick until there’s nothing left to pick at#sometimes this is helpful. a lot of the time it’s not#and on the flip side it’s like y’all bad cares about the eggs to a ridiculous degree don’t be silly here okay. he does this because he care#even without a memory in his brain he calls them ‘little one’ and is gentle like. he cares#but at the same time this doesn’t always justify his nonsense. his thought processes. he’s Uber hyper paranoid and not easy to reason with#he’s selfish he can and will jump to extremes he’s overly controlling. and he’s the worlds most unreliable narrator#I’ve been saying this I’ll keep saying this he’s an unreliable narrator! this doesn’t make everything he says or thinks bullshit but you#cannot take what he says to himself how he justifies his actions etc etc in private at face value. unless he is making it EXPLICITLY CLEAR#he’s talking from a meta perspective as the creator of his character#you have to take his perspective with a grain of salt. because he will ‘I’m just a little guy and the world is out to get me’ his way outta#everything#there is a difference between reasonable caution from learned past experiences and overly anxious paranoid responses#idk I’m running out of steam sorry this is like a second post with the tags#and again I say this as a huge qBbh enjoyer lmao#mcyt#qsmp#q!bbh#q!bagi#z speaks
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altschmerzes · 5 months
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i log onto ao3, i see something marked as gen fic and tagged exclusively with Character/Character tags and has “#Romance” in the additional tags section and in the description is like “some established relationship fluff!”
i look directly into the camera and sigh so hard i simply disintegrate into dust
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dimiclaudeblaigan · 6 months
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okay so like two things about this particular line.
one: i like the irony in claude telling someone to trust more.
two: HOWEVER, dimitri has literally absolutely no reason whatsoever in the name of yeehaw fuckity to not trust claude. i hate the way the game tries to absolutely force the things gw/sb claude does into ag when it doesn't even exist at all in ag. he never made a single hint of planning to just betray/harm the kingdom and this is literally at their first war meeting. not just that, but claude chose to go to faerghus himself and didn't ask them to go to leicester (which he specifically states being the one to choose to go to faerghus), so there wasn't anything indicating he might be up to something at all.
then we've got this stupid nugget:
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each side lacks trust and is expecting foul play? the church expects foul play from the kingdom? from the alliance which has done nothing to them in this route, and that's bad enough... but the fucking kingdom too?
the kingdom and alliance watching for foul play even though they're allies and never had a history of being aggressive toward each other?
i know i've talked about it before but... i just hate how they tried to force this "claude is always scheming something terrible" plotline, even where it doesn't belong. then they also added in the dumb bit here about even the church not trusting the other armies, even though they've... literally been helping them, gratefully, this whole war. they also didn't have to fight but chose to out of gratitude for being sheltered.
suddenly after the timeskip they just... don't trust each other?
like i totally get just being in it to reclaim gm and go home and not really in it for someone else or anyone else, but the distrust is just an asspull to make the church seem BaD as usual.
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claude just walked in and wasn't trusted. they also keep hammering it in right through the whole second half of the route with lots of kingdom allies (including playable ones) not trusting him. even if they relatively trust the alliance and the soldiers helping them that were integrated into their army, they specifically do not trust claude at all and are apprehensive about him.
dimitri agrees here if they can't be trusted, but he doesn't mention just personally distrusting them a whole lot. he agrees that they should be cautious if what the others say is true, but he also just shrugs it off as "they'll be enough to deal with the alliance if so". he seems unsure at first and kinda goes back and forth, but by the end he's the only character who faithfully believes that claude isn't just fucking around and leading them on (which literally, right to the very very very end, every single character except him is still very vocally doubting claude).
but like... why? there's... just... nothing to distrust him because of in this route. man literally exists and the game wants us to believe he's untrustworthy.
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yeehaw wtf??? why would anything happen between the kingdom and alliance after the war? why would anything need to happen? even if you try to argue that claude is gonna try to uwu depose of the top church officials, if the church is watching the kingdom like hawks like dimitri is apparently aware of, why would the kingdom get involved? why would they care? clearly the church doesn't trust them all that much after all, or at least anymore since the timeskip for some unknown reason, and the kingdom has now, after this war, paid back any debt it owed the church.
so like, why would they suddenly rush to the church's aid and help them if the church doesn't trust them? if they were friendly/allied it would make sense if they still wanted to help, but if the church is expecting foul play from the kingdom, why would the kingdom even care what happens to the church? they could turn a blind eye and pretend they don't have the resources to aid them anymore and that their own territory is still busy recovering.
even if you argue what they discussed at the very beginning of the war, the church either A: didn't ask for aid in this second conflict, or B: even if they did, the above stands. i don't think there would be any riots or anything like that in those cases if the kingdom didn't help the church. it's one thing to help, but it's another to just fight at the back and call of another territory, which dimitri clearly expresses he won't do in gw because he puts the safety of his people first. no matter what his feelings are on the matter, he knows he's a king and that he has a responsibility to his people first and foremost, as would be expected of a king (to protect his own people first and foremost).
while i could see claude wanting to talk after the war and get things straight, and while i could see dimitri there as a mediator, there's just... literally no reason for bad blood after all this. even if they don't trust each other, there's just no reason - and that's aside from the fact that it's total bs that they all just don't trust each other.
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lorenz just asks if shez has confidence in them. doesn't mention claude. shez though just... randomly is like oh yeah btw just not claude. totally unprompted.
lorenz distrusting claude has been part of his character since houses so his part of it is reasonable. normally i'd say it's really pushing things with claude not being trustworthy for someone to say they feel bad for shez/the kingdom army for the implication of having to deal with claude even as an ally, but the only reason i give this a pass is because it's an understandable and reasonable character who says it.
still though, it's like the game throws it in at every single possible opportunity for no reason at all. they don't give us any indication that claude is this big bad evil guy. he doesn't trust the church. like... that's it. he made that clear even in ag (even without the zaharas chapter), and that's just... it. the rest of this makes it seem like claude is going to just up and invade the kingdom after this war and try to unify fodlan (i.e. just go what edelgard's been doing this whole time).
it's just like... here, nobody trusts claude at all in this game just for simply existing. you don't even have to bring him up, because someone else will do it for you and shit talk him to remind you he's the biggest piece of shit the game can offer! meanwhile, we've got marianne who is concerned about edelgard (implication is her well being no less!) because the empire's army ain't doing so hot. poor indading aggressor! sure hope she's doing okay! fuck our leader though, he's the biggest steaming pile of bullshit garbage to ever exist (marianne didn't say that, but that's what the narrative is going for: poor edelgard, it's so sad that the invader is having it rough right now. anyway fuck claude he's literally as evil as tws).
i love ag but i'd say this is one of if not the worst hiccup in the writing. when it comes to faerghus itself and its characters, it's mostly fine and even great, but when it starts going into other territories/characters it ends up taking a nosedive in quality.
siiigh
#DCB Three Hopes Run#it's actually super ironic how ppl were lauding this after the trailers as#''it's gonna be the golden route game!'' like to begin with there was zero actual evidence of that#so idk why ppl just jumped to that conclusion based on snippets of in game events#but also like??? this game tore that apart like it was ripping up sensitive documents to be thrown out#literally straight up in every route went ''not a single territory trusts the other and they all secretly hate each other''#which. again. totally fucking stupid. but also hilarious that they went so far out of the golden route zone#and yet it's the game everyone was SO SURE would be the golden route#(even after they'd said they'd never make a golden route lmao)#but yeah the writing is just trash every single time they involve like anything outside of in-territory fighting#like the empire turmoil was fine. the writing wasn't really bad with the whole ludwig versus edelgard thing#and the stuff that was like leicester against almyra was fine. nader was even written well for that!#but once it gets into mingling territories however they're mingling be it fighting or allies#it gets so muddy and stupid and it's like what was even the point of doing that in EVERY route#hell by logic caspar would've been a recruitable character bc he'd see the bullshit going on in the empire and be like#wait this is fucked up nah im outta here i ain't fighting for this shit#but he just... stays??? bc he wants to fight for... edelgard??? who he is CLEARLY AWARE is not in charge anymore???#like if you were fighting for edelgard you would've fought against the ppl using her so... tws#even if you argue he didn't directly know it was thales and not ludwig at the helm caspar as he's supposed to be would never have#condoned what the empire was doing and would've left. if he thought it was ludwig in charge and hated what was going on he would've left#he's an idiot if he still thinks he's actually fighting /for/ edelgard at that point. his father even basically told him to get out of ther#but evidently once territories mingle in any way the writing just SKYDIVES out the window from the top floor of a skyscraper
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cakemousse · 1 year
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very good point on mentioning that we should not forget about the dynamics of each side of the square, and it’s also why there are preferences for certain side(s) of the lovesquare
but get this.
ladynoir did not die for each other for you to say marichat trusts each other implicitly
whatever “dynamic” you said ladrien to be, remember that marichat experienced the EXACT same in exaltation, but with the gears stomped on acceleration
marinette didn’t encourage adrien to speak to his father in the episode risk for you to say she can’t speak properly around adrien at all (also may i fucking ask how is that a communication flaw when everyone who watches the show with OPENED eyes knows that marinette is adrien’s biggest supporter plus the many times she manages to give him strength, even with the whatever “flaw stopping communication” you claim they have)
it’s not a communication flaw just because ladrien “never really happens” smh ig simon says, riposte, gorzilla, and strike back didn’t happen then 💀 marichat does NOT have an edge over ladynoir just because chat noir is “too busy flirting or showing off to try to be himself” ??? are you hearing yourself? chat noir IS him. period. or did the ending of kuro neko fly by your head? also even if chat noir flirts too much, ladybug still trusts him with all her heart. i can’t believe you actually said marichat has more trust than ladynoir, when ladynoir is the most developed side of the lovesquare
whatever you said in that reblog of yours, it seems like you’re the one who’s mixing shipping and dynamics together 💀
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samwisefamgee · 9 months
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the 20 dollar pair of throwaways I got for my sister's wedding were perfect for the like 7 hours I got them for but are really not perfect for like anything else ever
#i mean the WERE 20 dollars thats how it works but ya know#ive had to use them while walking around to do errands and not gonna lie wish i hadnt tossed the old busted pair#they were pretty far past done for but these things have given me. SO many blisters and i kinda just gotta keep goin#woulda taken the duct tape pair. shoulda just kept the duct tape pair#i seriously need to get some actual nice walking shoes but that would necessitate having more than 50 dollars at one point ever#and im outta weed lmao i had to bust out the emergency stash from the junk drawer#you know cause i get to where im sleeping and the ouch oof ache of my badshoes leaves me wanting a poofer choofer#its a cycle but ive been in worse cycles#if my mental health were also at an especially low point during all this i dont even KNOW what id be doing lol#i walkked. over 17 miles the other day in a haze of self harm after more bullshit happened and lost my wallet during the walk.#not a fun 6 miles of backtracking. drank outta someones hose once and the river twice to stave the clearly onsetting dehydration. didnt die!#found the wallet. drank maybe more water than i ever have in one moment when i passed the library and absorbed their entire drinking font#anyway my legs/knees were ruined and i almost sent myself to the hospital again cause i cant make bad decisions normal i get weird about it#but hey if a very specific set of circumstances fall into place maybe i wont be broke and just generally all around unwell goin forward#heres hoping it does before student loan payments roll round again lol
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nabtime · 4 months
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Sir Waylon of Gotham
Waylon wasn't much for talkin' to hoity-toity well-to-doers. Didn't much like their attitude. Or the way they looked at 'im. Lookin' down their noses, all pinched-faced and holier-than-thou, like he was the scum of the earth for the way he looked. And while Waylon wouldn't deny that he was scum, it sure weren't for lookin' the way he did. He'd earned that title fair 'n square, through hard work 'n strikin' fear inta the people of Gotham.
And he did that by bitin' they's arms off, not 'cause he was a li'l scaly.
Point was, Waylon didn't talk much with fancy people. Yeah, he talked to the Bat Brood and they could half be considered fancy on account of mostly bein' Waynes under the mask, but they didn't count. Not really. 'Specially their newest petite couyon that liked to swing about in his sewers like the chit owned the place. He didn't know how the kid was added to the family- coulda been adopted, coulda been one a' the other one's partner, coulda been another blood son a popped up outta nowhere 'gain.
Waylon didn't ask and the chit never said. No, all Phantom ever wanted to talk 'bout was how Waylon was doin. Idjit was far too concerned about Waylon's well-bein' when he shoulda been mindin' his own damn business. Kid said it was part a his business. That heroes had to check in on the reformed, make sure they were well and happy so they didn't have a need to get back inta villainy. Waylon wanted to call bullshit on 'im but he just didn't have the heart when the kid looked so earnest 'bout it.
And maybe the kid was swingin' in all the time just to check in on an Old Croc. Maybe even the kid didn't mind bein' 'round 'im an 'is big, scary teeth. Sure it were more likely he needed an escape an' the sewers were a place most Bats didn't venture less they had to, but iffin that were true- kid didn't have to find and talk to him every time.
All this was to say that he'd gotten used to seein' Danny 'round the sewers, and even seein' Jay when the older kid was sent to bring the other back topside.
Who he had not gotten used to seein' in the sewers, though, was a pretty thing all done up in medieval dress and glowin' green. Nor was he used to the hulking Knight done up in glowin' black armor standin' next ta her.
And, again, Waylon wasn't much for talkin' to hoity-toity people, let alone Ghost Royalty or some such, but he was still a man with manners. An' they were in his sewers (well, an' Grundy's, but the big lug weren't here, so's point was moot) so he was haven'ta be the one to greet 'em.
He growl echoed off the stone and muck as he approached the two beings that were floating midair, just above the water. They both looked lost until he fully rose from the grime and addressed them.
"Youins need somethin? Ya lookin fer Danny?"
And, well, Waylon said he had manners. Never said he was gonna use 'em.
"Oh!" said the sweet thing in flowing gown, her voice just as soft as she looked. "Yes! You must be the good Sir Waylon of Gotham that the King speaks so fondly of. I am Princess Dorathea and this is my personal guard, Fright Knight."
Sir Waylon? Now that's not somethin' he's ever heard afore. Him? Deservin' of a title like Sir? Ain't no way. He weren't 'bout to say nothin', but it sure did make him feel all flustery that a noble Lady like her would think so highly of a monster like him.
"Nah I wouldn' say he's 'xactly fond a me, but the name is Waylon, yeah, uh- My Lady."
And she smiled at 'im, sweet as anythin', like he weren't made a sharp edges an spilled blood. The big Knight aside her was actin like that too, posture relaxed as he just let her get closer. Closer an most people ever dared. 'Cept Phantom an some a the Bats. Was it a ghost thing? No fear a death, so whats scary about a big man with sharp teeth anymore?
"Would Sir Phantom be near-abouts?" she asked. "I require his counsel on matters of import."
"Sorry, cher- uh, My Lady," he grumbled, "ain't gotta clue where he's at. Somewhere's topside, prolly."
Her shoulders slumped just the slightest, obviously disappointed in his answer. And try as he might to want to give her a better one, he only knew where the kid was when he wanted to hang around underground. Waylon avoided the streets at all costs these days, not wantin' to risk trouble again. He'd spent enough of his days wastin' away in Arkham and Blackgate, thanks.
The Lady turned thoughtful though and graced him with a tilt of her head and a smile. "Perhaps you would deign to assist me instead, Sir Waylon?"
"Well nah, I'd love ta, My Lady. Supposin' its somethin' I can help ya with."
"Yes," she said, circling around him in a graceful glide, "so long as you are willing, you will suit just fine."
"Ya still haven't told me what ya need help with, ah- My Lady."
Waylon couldn't see the Knight's expression but he could almost feel the amusement pourin' off a him. And he wondered just what the hell he'd agreed to that a guy like that'd find it funny.
"My brother is making moves to take back the Kingdom. He has amassed a small, but skilled contingent of rebels and intends to usurp me at the upcoming Yule Celebration."
"So ya need muscle ta help stop 'im?"
"Oh no," she said, sweet but full of venom- like arsenic. Her grin was now full of teeth, teeth much to sharp for a proper Lady like her, and her eyes turned to glowing reptilian points. "I can take care of him myself. I intended to ask Sir Phantom along as contingency."
She looked him up and down and the Knight standing guard behind her was projectin' a certain smugness as he did the same.
"You, however, Sir Waylon," she said, and the tone near sent a shiver down his spine. "Will do well as both warrior and suitor."
"What say you?"
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yt shorts is trying So Hard to make me a worse person
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dilfl0v3rss · 10 months
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quiet!choso
quiet!choso who has no problem being out by himself, but refuses to talk in any other way than a hushed tone in public. only using his regular voice at home or with family, but he still barely spoke in full sentences.
quiet!choso always looks to you to order for him. voice too deep and quiet for waiters and drive threw workers to hear him so he always just lets you do it.
“i’ll take the number five with fruit punch as the drink pleaseee.” you chirped into the receiver. pretty skirt riding up your thighs as you leaned halfway over the center console to order your food.
“okay! anything else?” the employee asked. you looked at choso, who stared deep in thought at the menu before moving his lips towards your ear. “same thing…please” you smiled at how soft spoken he was, giving him a quick peck on the cheek for his cuteness before giving the woman his order.
quiet!choso who not only speaks quietly, but moves in silence as well. there has been too many times where your soul has left your body because this man has come home from work without making a sound. just quietly changing his clothes before sitting on the couch to watch his shows.
you were in the main bathroom, just getting done with some cleaning. your earphones were playing sza softly in your ears as you hummed along to her voice. as you walked from the toilet to the shower, you glanced out the door and your heart dropped to your ass. there was a man on your couch, hood on his head as he sat comfortably watching tv. you covered your mouth from the scream that you wanted to release before quietly reaching for your phone to call your boyfriend.
since you hid in the tub, you missed the part where choso pulled his phone from his pocket, giving it a confused look before answering it. ‘why is she calling me if i’m home?’ he thought as he quietly spoke to you through the receiver. “hello?” he instantly grew worried at your shaky breaths, quietly getting up from the couch before slowly walking to where he saw you cleaning. “t-there’s a man in the house”
choso stopped in his tracks, turning around before looked around the empty living room and kitchen. “where?” he said softly walking towards the small black pistol he kept deep in the cushion of his recliner. he slowly pulled the weapon out, being as quiet as possible before walking towards your bedroom to further his inspection. “h-he in the living room. got a black hoodie on with his hood up. looks pretty big too.” choso took a deep breath, rolling his eyes as he realized his mistake. you always told him to let you know when he’s home if he doesn’t see you when he walks in the door, but of course he forgot. “mama that’s me. i’m home from work” before he could say anything else you hung up, standing up from the tub before walking out into the living room with your arms crossed.
“choso bring your ass over here right now boy!”
quiet!choso who even though is seen as an antisocial guy, goes out with you to parties and get togethers. always giving you the same quiet speech about how “a man doesn’t need a voice to keep his woman safe”.
quiet!choso who doesn’t really care what people think of him, letting his brothers and friends call him all types of names without getting irritated in the slightest.
“she already do the talking so i’m guessing she be doing to fucking too” his middle brother sukuna said with a chuckle. choso, yuji, and sukuna agreed to have “bro bonding” (clearly yuji made the name) every other weekend to “keep their relationship strong”. this time it was being held at sukuna’s cave house where the three of them ate takeout and played on the game. “kuna leave em aloneee. there’s nothing wrong with letting your woman have control” his youngest brother said, large hand outstretched on choso’s back as he gave it a small rub.
“man cut the bullshit. even yuji don’t let bitches do that shit. you should hear the sounds that be comin outta my guest room when he crashes here wit a some random broad from a party.” yuji covered his face in embarrassment, making his older brothers chuckle. choso felt if he were to tell anyone how life was at home, it would be the two knuckleheads he was raised with. a small smirk planted on his face, tattooed hands gripping his controller a little tighter as he spoke.
“if my girl ‘ran’ me, don’t you think she’d be doing whatever she wanted? when we go out, why do you think she rather sit by me than go shake her ass with her friends like she usually used t’do?” sukuna and yuji’s eyes widened, giving choso a shocked look before the two of them looked at each other.
quiet!choso who doesn’t need to talk for you to know what he’s trying to say. settling for stern looks and a tap on your thigh, ass if nobody’s looking, as a warning to get you to act right.
quiet!choso who sometimes had to use rougher tactics to correct you when you’re out of line.
“say it again” choso groaned, long girthy dick rearranging your guts as he held you up by your hair. “i w–won’t cuss at daddy” you moaned, back grazing his broad tattooed chest. wrists bound together by fuzzy grey cuffs as you dug your nails into your palms. you were so frustrated earlier that you may have let a couple curse words slip into your vocabulary while texting choso, but regardless of your instant apology, he told you to be stripped and ready for him in the bed by the time he got home from work. now you were paying for your disrespect through taking all 8.5 inches of him without complaint.
“say it louder mama. daddy can’t hear you clearly through all that moaning” choso chuckled as he listened to you whine, pretty breasts bouncing with every thrust as you tried to speak clearly for the fifth time tonight. “i won’t c-cuss at daddy ever again! fuck m’gonna cummm” he rolled his eyes, pace never faltering as he fucked you through your third orgasm of the night. choso’s inked hand abruptly let go of your hair, making a chuckle slip as he watched you fall to the bed with a huff, hands not able to stop you.
“now you cursing right at me. gon be here all night if you don’t clean it up princess”
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4mnji · 20 days
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FORGIVE ME, BABY ᡣ𐭩 eren yeager x reader
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synopsis: u find out ur fwb has been fucking other girls on the low and u hate being one of his options, so he comes over to “apologize” to you
warnings: kissessss, pussy eating, fingering, orgasm denial, choking, pet names (baby, my love, princess), eren is just a lil mean n nonchalant 😠, reader is kinda possessive hehe 🎀, reader and eren r both in their 3rd year of college, once again written with a black women in mind but anyone can read
wc: 1.4k
a/n: here’s another fic that has been collecting dust in my notes for a hot minute. i hope yall enjoy 💋
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you’re chilling on your bed, scrolling through instagram bored outta your mind when you get a call from your fuck buddy, eren. you shot up from ur position on the bed making sure u looked good enough to answer the facetime call. when you were just about to pick up, you stopped in your tracks and let it ring until the call eventually went away.
you wanted to pick up, you really did but you had remembered that just a few days ago mikasa, your best friend, had sent you a screenshot of one of her instagram mutuals close friends post with a message undernesth it saying “isn’t that ur man??”. you clicked on the screenshot and it was a picture of eren and some random girl laying in bed, eren with his face buried deep into her neck displaying all the hickeys he must’ve gotten from her with her hand touching his back. you instantly knew it was eren because of the tattoo behind his ear. obviously you knew you and eren weren’t together and probably would never be, but you just couldn’t stand the sight of seeing him give the d to anyone else who wasn’t u when he could simply just hit you up if he wanted a good fuck. your phone dinged 2 times, making you snap out of your trance.
rennie 💋💋
why u ain’t pick up?
i have ur location, ik ur ass is home.
you rolled your eyes at his messages, deciding not to text him back and just call him instead. he picks up on the first ring, instantly questioning you, not even giving u a proper greeting. “why didn’t you pick up?” he says with a blank stare. “well hello to you too” you scoff which doesn’t go unnoticed by him but he chooses to ignore it. “i was in the bathroom.” you lied. eren nods his head, looking away from the camera not saying anything. there’s a moment of silence before he breaks it and shifts his focus back onto you. “i wanna come over, i miss you.” you shake ur head laughing a bit at his statement. “you don’t miss me, you was just with some other girl like 2 days ago. if you really missed me you would’ve came to me instead of her” eren opens his mouth to speak, but you countinue talking. “eren, you know how i feel about being one of your lil hoes. if you wanna have multiple girls on your roster and pick and choose who u want to fuck on what days, you can get the fuck off my line because i’m not gonna be apart of that bullshit.”
eren sighs and doesn’t say anything for a couple of seconds. he thinks about his next actions and choice of words carefully. on one hand, he can argue with you, which would then lead to you not talking to him for a week, ignoring all his messages and calls and then eventually you’ll get tired of doing that and tell him to come over so y’all can “talk”. or he can just agree with whatever you were saying—and he chose the latter. his patience was wearing thin, he actually did miss you and he didn’t want to jeopardize his chances of seeing you with some stupid argument.
after thinking out his words he finally speaks “you’re right princess, i’m sorry” he says trying to sound as sympathetic as possible. honestly, eren didn’t give a fuck if u did or didn’t like his lifestyle, he does whatever the hell he wants to do. however, he didn’t want u to get any more upset with him than u already were, so he decided to make u feel like u had the upper hand so u would let him come over.
you were about to open your mouth to say some slick shit to him because you knew that these type of conversations between the two of you always ended up in some type of back and forth argument, so you were taken aback when he not only agreed with what you were saying, but even apologized. and eren never apologizes. “im right?” u question, confusion laced in your tone. “yea baby, you are and i’m sorry for making you feel that way. i’ll stop fucking around with all these girls i promise, just let me come over so i can make it up to you properly” after hearing all of eren’s empty promises and him actually “agreeing” with what u had to say for once, you folded immediately and told him to come over. you probably would’ve been standing on buisness a little bit more if u didn’t crave his touch so much but you did, you needed wanted him badly.
once you gave eren the green light that he can come over he was there in less than fifteen minutes and had you butt naked on your bed in less than five.
“keep your legs up, baby” eren instructs and u do as he says. you lift your legs up, locking your arms around them to keep them in place. eren begins to kiss all over the lower half of your tummy and slowly trails down to your pretty pussy. his kisses are so sweet, slow, and sensual that is has your toes curling in the air.
“mmm ren..f-feels good” you mutter out while letting out soft moans. eren hums, which sends a little vibration into you. eren knew u were close, even if u didn’t tell him u were. he was always so good at reading u like a book, but for now he decided to play dumb by pulling away and pretending like he didn’t know why u let out that little grunt when he did. before you can question why he stopped he starts rubbing on your puffy clit while looking into your eyes.
“y/n, i really am sorry that i didn’t come to you the other day. i don’t know what i was thinking princess, you think you can forgive me?” eren coos at you, with a little smirk on his face that goes unnoticed by you since your head is in the clouds with the way he’s rubbing on you. when he doesn’t get a response he slaps your pussy, earning a loud whine from you. “you didn’t answer me my love. you forgive me?” he asks again. “y-yes eren…i-i forgive you!” u hardly manage to let out.
eren smiles at you before he gives the lower half of your stomach another wet kiss. he moves his head back down so he can start making out with your pussy again. he’s being so sloppy with it but lord it feels so good. you try to push eren’s head away but he doesn’t let up and instead starts adding two of his long digits into your wet pussy while eating it.
you had no more strength left in your body to push his head away with the way he was eating and fingering your pussy. “erennnn im so closeee!!” you whine. and just when you were about to have your release, eren stops. he lifts his body up so he can sit down straight on the bed and he looks down at ur trembling body and just laughs.
“rennn what are u doing…?” u question quietly. eren rests his large palm on the right side of your cheek “i’m glad you forgive me, but you know…” he pretends to think for a moment, “i never got an apology from you for telling me what to do and you know i hate that bossy shit” his hands slides up to your neck and he gives it a little squeeze just enough to make you cough a bit. you rest ur smaller hands on top of eren’s, mentally hoping that you can make him forgive you and he’ll forget about all this and just make you cum.
“r-ren i swear i wont do it again im really sorry i-“ eren cuts you off and leans down to press a quick kiss onto your lips that were now swollen from you biting on them previously. he lets go of your neck and gives you his signature annoying (but sexy) smirk and god you wished you could slap that stupid look off his face, but you’re in such a weak state right now from how he was eating you out </3.
“show me how sorry you are and maybe i’ll think about forgiving you, sound good princess?”
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punkeropercyjackson · 3 months
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This is mostly a Zutara shippers problem(ofc it is,they're the root of everything wrong with the fandom and it's been like this since the 2000s)but i've seen it happen often enough with other shippers and it is replacing Aang's place in Zuko's life with whoever they ship him with.I want you to read this and internalize it:I don't care who you think Zuko is in love with because it dosen't matter no matter what-AANG is his best friend.Not Katara,not Sokka,not Jet,AANG.He's the one who saved him from his own inner darkness and Ozai's clutches,he's the one he looks out for the most,he's the one he has the most positive opinion on,he's the one he has the most fun with,he's the one he trusts the most and he's the one he'd choose over anyone else if it came down to it.Not a single one of these things is romantic for them and that's the point.Zuko's number one is Aang and not because he's his s/o but his brother and you have no right to erase his healing journey that's one of the best in all of western media so you can make it about his dating life instead,as if abuse victims can only get better if they 'settle down'.Fuck outta here with your amatonormative and lowkey ableist too bullshit
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loveinhawkins · 10 months
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There isn’t a strike of lightning, no grand epiphany that clues Steve in.
It just comes down to this: he knows Dustin Henderson.
Knows how he looks when confronted with a problem he desperately wants to solve.
“Fuck this,” he’s saying through gritted teeth, pushing down hard on the gaping wound across Steve’s abdomen; he’s doing everything right, Steve thinks with pride, but it’s not enough.
It’s not his fault.
Steve says as much.
But Dustin isn’t listening; he’s just muttering to himself, “Not again,” over and over.
And Steve suddenly feels like he did when dropping the quarter into The Indiana Flyer—the moment just before the song played, already knowing what he would hear.
“Not again?” Steve asks very quietly.
Dustin’s mouth snaps shut. His face is chalk white, and there’s more than just fear in his eyes; there’s guilt too, guilt and a responsibility he should never have to bear.
Steve wants to take it from him.
He lifts his hand, grunting with the effort, and ruffles Dustin’s hair. “Oh, bud,” he murmurs, “you’ve kept trying, huh?”
Dustin’s eyes fill with tears.
Steve tries to hush him, breathing turning shallow from the pain.
“Hey, you—you’ve g-gotta hand it to me, man,” Steve says through a faint smile. “Was… on the right track, y’know? O-obsessed with clocks.”
Dustin gasps out a laugh. It ends on a sob.
“Shut up,” he says, and that’s all—no clever comeback, nothing, even though he always has one.
Steve’s heart breaks for him.
“How many times?” Steve says, but he doesn’t need a reply; he knows enough just from the way Dustin is shaking.
“I—” Dustin swallows, shakes his head. “I don’t…” Oh, Steve thinks, his kid is tired.
“C’mere.” He cups the back of Dustin’s head. “Everyone… everyone else make it?”
Dustin starts to cry.
It’s an answer of its own.
“Shh. Hey. That’s… you can stop now.” Steve pats the back of Dustin’s hand, stills the pressure on his wound. “Listen. Just… just let it run this time. Hey, it’s okay, Dustin. It’s okay.”
“It’s n-not okay, Steve, how can you—”
“Shh,” Steve says again, and maybe this is as much for him as it is for Dustin; he doesn’t want their last conversation to be a fight. He looks into Dustin’s eyes. Smiles. “Christ, I’m so proud of you.”
It doesn’t cover everything he wants to say; there’s not enough time.
I loved growing up with you. I’m sorry. I wanted to be there for you forever.
“Fuck you,” Dustin says, young and angry and so afraid. “Don’t say you’re proud of me, asshole, just don’t—”
Don’t go.
“Okay, fine. You’re a smartass,” Steve drawls, and Dustin lets out a choked giggle before grief takes over again.
“God,” he says, “this isn’t fucking fair. I sh-shouldn’t have to choose—this is—”
“Bullshit,” Steve agrees. “That’s not on you, man. Not your fault if the game’s rigged.”
Dustin closes his eyes.
It’s not so bad, Steve tells himself. He can just… rest for a couple seconds, tell Dustin to get outta here, then…
A faint chime.
Dustin’s eyes open. There’s a sudden gleam to them, shining through the fatigue. Determination.
Hope, despite everything.
“Well then,” Dustin says, “s’a good thing I’m a smartass.”
And then he’s running.
Steve manages to lift his head up with a cry, gets to see Dustin reach a grandfather clock ensnared with vines, because of course he’s not gonna listen to him, he’s such a little shit, and Steve loves him so much—
Dustin reaches up to the glass in front of the clock face, smashes it with his hand.
The world turns white.
The last thing Steve sees is Dustin turning to him with a shaky grin, mouthing, “One more.”
And Steve’s still terrified, but he also thinks of the world’s most stubborn, brilliant kid with a wonky compass, of how many times do I have to be right on the money before you guys just trust me?
It’s a walk along the railroad tracks, stumbling into each other’s lives; it’s just get ready, and you die, I die; it’s being trapped under Starcourt, and Steve left with the one thing that all the drugs, all the pain in the world could not take away from him.
The absolute faith that Dustin would figure something out.
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jobean12-blog · 9 months
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Nook of Love
Pairing: Pre!Outbreak Joel Miller x reader
Word Count: 1,806
Summary: Joel builds you something extra special and it's everything you've always wanted and more.
Author's Note: After writing about mob!Bucky buying you a bookstore I thought I do a version for my other fave guy- except his style haha. Thank you all so much for reading! Much love always! ❤️❤️❤️Divider by the lovely @firefly-graphics thank you sweet Daisy!
Warnings: it's so fluffy and soft and lots of kisses :)
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Joel Miller Masterlist
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“How are you gonna keep her outta the house for the next week?”
Joel narrows his eyes as he grinds his teeth together.
“I haven’t though that far ahead…” he mumbles.
“Of course not,” Tommy teases.
With a grunt of annoyance Joel reaches for more wood and lifts it into his pickup.
“Are you just gonna stand there and bitch or help me?”
Tommy ambles over with a raised brow. “You better figure out how you’re gonna see her because I’m not dealin’ with your extra grumpy ass for a week!”
Joel’s hands land on his hips and he shrugs. “I’ll just go to her place.”
Tommy scoffs. “Yeah ‘cause she won’t find that weird as fuck since you never go there. You know she likes it here better.”
“You know what, shut it Tommy. No one asked you,” Joel grits out.
Tommy smirks. “Well just don’t ask me to get involved in your bullshit when she starts askin’ questions!”
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“Are you sure you want to come here again?”
You hear his sigh on the other end of the phone before he answers. “Of course darlin’…just need to see you.”
“I’m happy to come by you. I like your place better anyway,” you argue, hoping he hears the smile in your voice.
“I know but, I need a change of scenery. I’ll be there soon.”
When you hear the doorknob start to turn you fly off the couch, jumping into his open arms the moment he fills the doorway.
“Hey there darlin’,” he murmurs against your lips as his arms close tightly around you.
You kiss him softly then take his hand and start to pull him toward the couch.
“So how was your day? How’s Sarah? How’s the progression on that new building?”
You fire off your questions, only stopping when you feel him give you a tug. You look over your shoulder and he’s wearing a lopsided smile.
“Come ‘ere,” he murmurs before dragging you back into his chest and spinning you around.
He walks you slowly toward the wall, only stopping when your back gently bumps it.
“Aren’t you going to tell me about your day?” you ask coyly.
“Nuh uh,” he whispers, placing both his hands on the side of your head along the wall.
He pins you in place, pressing his hips closer. “I’d rather hear about your day.”
His lips trail along your jaw, stopping just under your ear where he places a soft kiss. He continues pressing kisses to your skin until he finds your mouth.
“That’s such bullshit and you know it,” you breathe against his lips.
You can feel his smile along your skin.
“Go on darlin’,” he whispers and runs his nose along your throat. “Tell me.”
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“This is the third time it’s ringing Joel. You have to answer or she’s likely to show up here!”
Tommy holds out the phone and Joel takes it with a grumbled curse.
“Hey darlin’,” he answers then pauses to listen.
“I was in the bathroom,” he answers, waiting as you talk again.
“Actually, no. Must have eaten somethin’ bad for lunch.”
“How ‘bout I call you later and we can figure out our plans?”
He stares down Tommy as he listens to your concerned voice, wincing every now and then when he can tell you’re pouting and upset.
“It’s ok. I’ll be fine…NO!”
He immediately scowls after shouting out “no” and softens his voice. “I just don’t want you to be sitting around here while I’m in the bathroom the whole time.”
His head hangs and he pinches the bridge of his nose. “I promise. Ok, don’t worry. Love you too baby.”
“Shit that was painful to watch,” Tommy says when Joel hangs up and drops his phone. “You’re a terrible liar.”
“That’s because I would never lie to her!” Joel yells then his hands land on his hips and he sighs dramatically. “I should have had a plan in place for this.”
“AH HA!” Tommy yells triumphantly. “TOLD YA SO BROTHER!”
“Ah fuck off and quit standing around and help me. I need to get this done by tomorrow. No way I can keep this up another day!” Joel huffs.
Tommy snickers but marches over to help sand the wood, delighting in Joel’s continued grumbly mutterings.
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When he opens the door you push past him and whirl around, hands crossed over your chest and glaring.
“Joel Miller if you don’t explain why you’ve been acting so weird the past few days…”
You step closer and poke him in his hard chest.
He grabs your finger and drags you into his arms.
“Everything will make sense in a few minutes,” he says quietly, his eyes searching your face.
You study him and your own eyes go wide.
“Are you nervous?” you ask as your lips lift into a small smile.
He looks taken aback. “ME?!?!”
His tone is incredulous. “No way darlin’. I’m fine. You just missed me yesterday is all.”
“Oh is that it?” you ask before blowing a raspberry. “I don’t see you for one day and now I’m imagining things...like the fact that you had food poisoning but feel perfectly fine now?”
Instead of continuing to argue he takes your face between his large hands and presses his lips to yours. After a few moments of kissing you senseless he gently releases you and rests his forehead against yours.
“Are you ready for your surprise?”
“THERE’S A SURPRISE!!” you squeal. “Why didn’t you say so!?”
Your excitement sets his nerves aflutter again and he wipes his palms on his jeans. “Ok…just promise…just promise me you’ll tell me what you really think…and you won’t pretend to like it just because…”
You reach for his hand and grip it tightly in reassurance. “I promise Joel…NOW HURRY UP! I can’t wait.”
You’re bouncing on your feet the whole time you follow him through the house and when you pass the living room he stops you and says, “close your eyes.”
You immediately shut them and squeeze them tight.
“Don’t peek.”
“I won’t!” you say excitedly.
He gives your hand a tug and carefully leads you into the next room, stopping after a few more steps.
“Ok…” he says on an exhale. “Open ‘em.”
Nestled into the back of the small room is something out of your dreams. A large window is framed by floor to ceiling dark wood shelves and just under it is a long and cushioned seat. There’s even a shelf above that goes horizontally and smaller shelves on the inside of the nook on either side of the seat.
“Now I know there aren’t many books yet and the details are missing but I figure you would want to pick out the curtains and pillows and Knick knacks and all that. I was going to do that myself but I didn’t think I should in case you wanted a theme or somethin’. Sarah said she would help but I told her you could take her when you shop and…”
You turn to face him, softly pressing your finger to his lips so he stops his nervous rambling.
“You built me a reading nook,” you state, your words breathy and light as air. “My very own reading nook.”
He nods and swallows audibly.
“Do you like it?” he asks quietly.
“Joel,” you start, pressing yourself against him. “This is the most beautiful gift ever. It’s literally a dream come true!”
His lips spread into a smile under your finger and you finally drop it, snaking your arms around his neck.
“I can change somethin’ if you want darlin’. If you don’t like the color of the wood we can stain it again or I can redo the shelving.”
You look back at the nook and step from his embrace to run your hands reverently over the polished wood, noting every curve and nuance.
“You made his with your own hands,” you murmur. “What could be more perfect?”
He comes up behind you, wrapping his arms around your middle and rests his head on your shoulder.
“I’m happy you like it.”
“I love it. LOVE. IT.”
“So that’s what I was up to this week. Tommy helped but only a little so…”
You laugh in his arms, pressing your hands over his to trace his knuckles. You slip your fingers through his and brush your thumbs over the calloused pads of his fingertips.
“Oh wait!” he says as he takes a few steps toward the nearby wall, still holding you tightly.
He flicks a switch and a long set of fairy lights brighten, adding the perfect soft glow to the books.
“Oh Joel,” you gasp. “You remembered.”
“Of course darlin’,” he answers.
You think back to the first night you spent together, lying skin to skin and completely wrapped up in him, talking for hours about your dreams for the future, including your love for fairy lights.
With watery eyes you move away and sit down on the cushioned seat, smoothing your hands lovingly over the plush fabric and leaning back until you can see the insides of the shelves. You lift shaky fingers and press your other hand to your mouth.
Hidden on one of the walls of the inside shelf is a carved-out heart with two initials inside of it. Your fingertips trace the deep lines before they close around the single book on the shelf.
“Our initials…Joel.”
He smiles softly at you.
“And how did you get my copy of my favorite book?” you ask him without looking up.
“I uh…” he begins sheepishly, “may have borrowed it the other night when I stayed at your place.”
“My place,” you repeat. “But this perfect nook is at your place and I won’t…”
Your thought trails off as you open the book and out slides a key tied to a ribbon.
“Is this what I think it is?” you ask with a shaky breath.
“It’ll be our place.”
You stare at the key in your hand and the back up at Joel.
“If that’s what you want darlin’.”
 Without warning you launch yourself off the seat and into his arms.
“Thank you,” you whisper over and over again as you nuzzle his neck. “And don’t worry I won’t tell anyone you’re such a romantic.”
You can feel his body shake with laughter. “Only for you.”
“I know,” you say softly before peppering his cheeks with kisses.
He closes his eyes contentedly.
“Where’s Sarah today?” you ask in between all the kisses.
“Stayin’ at her friends for the night.”
You grin and start to pull him toward the cushioned seat.
“That’s good,” you murmur.
“I thought so,” he answers with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Figured we could break in all the surfaces in your new place.”
“Mm hmm,” you hum. “Starting with my favorite spot.”
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@pedritosdarling @hiddles-rose @blackwidownat2814 @littleseasiren @kmc1989 @justkinsey @beccablogsthings @laineyreads @lorilane33
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potatobugxo · 2 months
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Hey so ive been having a rough day as I was yelled at by customersn at my retail job, can i get Angelperhaps seeing his genderneutral s/o getting yelled at by an unruly hotel guest and standing up for them and possibly comforting them? If you cant i totally understand, thanks ❤️
yes of course!!! i work in retail too people are so stupid fr... take care of yourself ok?? love you very much <33 warnings: reader gets yelled at, swearing, hurt to comfort
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"a-ah, my bad..." angel perks up as he hears you apologize to someone across the room. the hotel had grown more lively with guests and sinners, and handling guests' purchases was your designated job. you were crouched on the floor, scooping up a tray of food you had dropped.
"what the hell? can't even get decent service at a place like this," the guest, a demon much taller than you grumbled, hands on his hips as he watched you scramble to pick up what was presumed to be his meal. "i am really sorry," you stand back up, tray in hand, and angel's hair standing on end when he realizes how shaky your hands are. "i-i can get a replacement for it right away-" "don't need a fuckin' replacement!" the sinner barks in your face, slapping the tray out of your hands and making you wince. "need you to do your fuckin' job right! they not payin' you enough, huh? think you can just waste shit like this!" "hey, asshole!" you and the sinner both turn to see angel dust marching toward you, his pink pupils glowing an angry shade of magenta. "listen up, fucker, they're doin' their best," angel jabs a finger into the sinner's chest, causing the demon to scowl at him. you shift anxiously on your feet behind angel, swiping the tears that had been forming in your eyes away with your arm. "so what if they dropped a tray? it's just some fuckin' food, not like they took a shit in it and served it to you," angel sneered. "if you lookin' to redeem yourself this ain't how you treat other people. so apologize or get the fuck outta here!" "fuck you!" the sinner snaps back, unable to come up with further retaliation before storming out of the lobby. angel glares at him as he departs, and only turns to you once the sinner slams the hotel doors shut. "angel, you didn't have to do that," you insist, voice hushed. angel places his four hands on your arms and smiles at you. "toots, you can't be takin' shit like that, okay?" he assures in a gentle tone. "i'm just tired," you inform him. "i'm not used to so many guests being here... looks like they all don't listen when charlie says to be polite to others." "that's for fuckin' sure," angel spits in the direction the sinner had fled in. "hey, don't beat yourself up about it, alright? i'll help you clean up this mess." he gestures toward the tray and scattered food that has stained the carpet. "okay," you sniffle a bit. "anyone else been treatin' you like that mothafucka?" angel inquires, cocking an eyebrow. you shake your head. "good. cuz i'd really hate to backslide on this redemption bullshit by shootin' some lowlife scumbag." you giggle at his remark and he grins, pulling you in for a four-armed hug.
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moonybug444 · 9 months
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toxic thoughts with connie<33
tw toxic relationships/lowkey abuse?? | connie grabs you by your hair n threatens ya | mean connie☹️☹️
thinkin about connie n you being in a toxic lil on and off relationship. calling it quits every other day cuz youre just so bad for eachother.
you guys are screaming n throwing shit at eachother every chance you get. but its never your fault, no its always connies.
“youre a fuckin idiot (y/n),” he takes another drag from the blunt in his hand, “‘nd you’ve got one more time to raise your voice at me before i come over there and beat the shit outta you.”
its just a threat. an empty fucking threat, you know it is, but glancing up at him shirtless, muscles bulging with nothing but his plaid blue boxers on and a mean glare on his face. you cant help that chilling shiver that goes down your spine.
“m’not—dont call me that!”
“maybe than, lets see…” he lets out a mocking loud laugh, “dont fucking act like one?” you hate how he wants to make you cry. how he wants to see you act a mess. how he does everything in his power to upset you. and you hate he he almost always wins. always pulls a reaction out of you.
you feel the tears spill over your cheeks before you can even try n hold em in and you do everything in your power to not just flop down on his clean grey carpet and roll around and curse him. thats what connie springer does to you.
“‘m so fuckin done with you,” you pull up the strap of the lightpink nightgown silk dress connie gifted you as a im sorry for fucking up, again gift that just flops right back off your shoulder, “nd m’serious hic this time, you wont every hear from me again.”
bullshit. you know its bullshit. and it pains you to admit, but you dont think you’ll ever truly be done with connie springer.
connie sits up at that. intrigued. “oh really?” he’s putting his joint out in the ass-shaped ashtray he stole from jean and scratching his hickey covered neck (from guess who) and you can tell hes not taking you seriously. he never does.
his tone is mocking when he huffs out, “go ‘head, y’know where the fucking door is dum-dum.” he’s grabbing the remote, just about to turn on somethin other than the lame shit playing on tv before your throwing one of your bunny slippers directly at his face.
atleast you tried hitting direct. it barely grazes his ear but youre still satisfied when you see his scrunched up face.
and you know hes real mad. his handsome face is turning red at the minute and hes grabbing the slipper from his side before heading towards you.
you try to get away quick, little feet making it maybe two steps out the room before hes grabbin you by the hair and pulling you towards the ground. “ow—connie,” here come the tears again, “s-stop..! let go of me!”
“stop all that fucking crying before i really give you some shit to cry about,” hes letting go of your hair and turning around before your shoving him from behind, trying to get even. “dont fucking touch me! i dont fucking care—” he cuts you off, “shut the fuck up. my gosh.” and hes turning around, grabbing you by your now scrunched up nightgown and pulling you real close to his face.
he can see how upset you are. the tears streaming down your puffy face, your brows all furrowed and all the hiccups coming from your swollen, wobbly lip. sometimes yeah, he does feel bad for how he treats you. the random disappearing days when he knows how much you depend on him, the name-calling even though he knows you cry over every-fucking-thing, the pushes and the shoves knowing your barely half his size. all of it.
still he cant help it. maybe theres something wrong with him. he doesnt know and he doesnt really care. he knows you wont leave so what the fuck, why would he stop?
“look at you,” he takes the hand that isnt practically raising you up to your tippytoes and cups your face, running his thumb over your bottom lip, “your the prettiest girl in the world y’know that? too bad your a crazy bitch.”
>_<
its only like an hour later n youve forgotten all about the petty fight with your boyfriend. forgot that you threw the slipper at him cause he was being sneaky with his phone nd refused to let you see it. dont care tho. you love him again.
“feels so good baby,” he groans, pushing in n out of your slippery pussy with his thick cock, “i love you so much…y’know that?”
you’re being shuffled down towards his standing form some more, ass hanging off of the bed and pushing against fat balls that are pat, pat, patting against your squishy thighs.
“yesyesyes, love you—i-i love you!” you dont even know what the fuck your saying—cant process anything but the feeling of his fat cock stuffing you full. hes so deep n you and its hard to even breathe. feel like hes up your nose.
“s’deep connie ngh…m’cummin again,” youre looking up at him. watching his pretty eyes open n close again n again. watching him bite his saliva covered lips and waching his button nose scrunch up in pleasure. your eyes flick down to obvious bulge in your tummy and you mewl wrapping your legs around his moving hips. trapping him.
your pussy is so fucking greedy, suckin him in again n again and she still cant get enough. connies bringing his hand down and pushing right on that bulge in your pretty tummy that has you both whining. looking you right in the eyes, “go ‘head princess,” and he giggles when you let out the sluttiest little moan, “that feel good huh?”
youre whining out the loudest connnieee follwed by some praise before your squirting all over him, getting both your tummies soaked up and making a mess all over his dark blue bedsheets.
hes following close after with an annoyingly sexy, fuuuck baby and coming right in your swollen pussy.
youre so tired. can hardly open your eyes when you feel connie already pulling out of you to go clean you up. grabbing one of his freshly cleaned sweat towels usually reserved for basketball, crouching down and dabbing it around your messy pussy.
“there you go princess,” hes speaking not to you, but to your cunt, “good as new.” hes leaving a big wet kiss to your pussy like he always does, standing right after and hovering over you to leave an even wetter kiss to your abused lips, throwing the towel somewhere across the room.
>_<
your cozily straddling connie in his bed, being lulled to sleep by his fingers smoothing over your hair.
hes smoking again, cautious enough to not blow it in your face though—he knows you hate smoke—thats only for when he wants to piss you off. you hear him clear his throat.
“m’gonna stop this baby,” hes smoothing over the same roots of your hair he tugged on earlier, “m’serious, no more of this arguing shit,” he grabs your face, pushing your lips into a pout. “ill do better.”
yeah fucking right. you both know thats bullshit. you guys ‘ll be back at all the screaming n yelling tomorrow.
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royallyprincesslilly · 6 months
Text
Title: Wasted Love {Part II}
Tumblr media
Lewis Hamilton x Reader
Warning: Language, High Angst
Words: 6.3k
Summary: Nope.
Note: Posted the first part of this months back and finally getting around to part 2. I hope you like it. Look out for the final part.
As always, thank you for reading. I appreciate it!
As you enjoyed this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!! ❤️❤️
***NOT Edited/Proofread***
Previous: Wasted Time |
-Lewis-
"For fuck's sake!” He threw the controller across the room.  When it collided with the floor it shattered sending pieces everywhere. "Woah. Woah! What the hell?!” Andrew, Miles, and Daniel all looked at him with varying expressions of confusion, shock, and concern. "Yo, what the fuck is your problem? It’s just an L in MK," Andrew said. He sighed then rubbed his face, pressing a little harder than necessary. "Like we can go again, and I'll let you win if it's that serious," Miles said. He sighed again, his head miles, leaps, and bounds away from the video game, the living room, or his friends. His mind was still in that penthouse suite with you standing in front of him as you argued going back and forth both pushing and neither relenting even a little. His head was still there picking apart every word, every expression, every shuddered breath, every pupil dilation. "Yo, Lewis," Daniel called bringing his attention back to them. "Nah, this can't be about the game. Even you're not that petty," Miles said putting his controller down. "What's up?" He rolled his head around cracking each joint in his neck and shoulders. He hadn't realized until now how wound up he'd been over the last 2 and a half weeks. He also hadn’t realized how steadily his anger and frustrations were climbing too. What was him being in disbelief for the first few days after the confrontation turned into anger then annoyance. Right now he was festering and stewing in all three. He couldn’t believe that after everything you'd been through, everything you'd shared, the lengthy conversations, the trips to and from each of your homes, the late-night phone and video calls that lasted for hours and hours, the dates, the trips, the interactions with his family and him yours, all of it, you were here.
While he had thought you were building and strengthening and growing toward each other despite his insane schedule and lack of free time, that wasn't the case at all. If you had then there was no way you could have said the shit you did or believed he would do some shit like that. "Dude," Andrew began. "It's nothing," he lied. "Bullshit. It's not racing that's been going good, it's not the other hustles either. What, is it Y/N?" His entire body tensed at the mention of your name. That was different. Before, your name brought him peace, a smile and so much more. "Bingo. What is it? Haven't seen her in a few weeks, she too busy for your ass and you salty for it?" He was used to Daniel’s teasing, and usually, he would laugh it up and allow them to bust his chops, but right now Daniel was rubbing on a sensitive topic. Before he realized it he'd kissed his teeth. That action made all three of them perk up. "What's wrong?" "We're done," he blurted out as if the words were acrid acid on his tongue. They were quiet for a few moments, then Miles broke it. "Done? Fuck outta here. You're lying." "I'm for real,” he replied with a touch of exasperation in his voice. "What? What happened?" He sighed again then told them the whole story not leaving out anything. He wanted to hear their thoughts mainly because he felt they would take his side. As he went through the whole thing again he had to admit to himself that there were some things he shouldn't have said, things that he recognized fueled your ruthlessness, things he now regretted. When he'd said his piece he waited for them to tune in, however, a good minute passed before any of them said a word. They just exchanged looks as if speaking nonverbally and trying to come to a consensus. "She fucked up right." Daniel made a face. "IIIIIIII mean," he stretched out in that high-pitched tone that said even more.
"Hold on,” Andrew interrupted, “Has something changed? I thought you were all about her these last months. I thought since she finally gave you the time you were being real.”
“I was—am—was. Shit.”
“You slipped up?”
“No! It was nothing, it was work.”
They all gave him the look as if he was full of shit. Kissing his teeth again he rolled his eyes. “I’m telling the truth. It was work, nothing more. Hell I even told them that when they tried to tag team off each other to spit game. I told them I was seeing someone, and it was getting serious, and I wasn’t bout that life anymore.”
“That’s what I thought,” Miles said.
“I didn’t even know she was there. She showed me some fucked picture and she ran with that shit.”
“What picture?”
He opened his messages, found the picture then showed it to them. You’d sent it to him a few hours after you’d left when he texted you that, “You were fucking things up”, your reply was the picture and a simple reply, “Naw bruh you did that shit all on your own. Own it!” It was the last message you’d sent him. It was now almost 3 weeks later, and you were still radio silent.
“Woah, yeah. That looks bad,” Andrew spat out.
Daniel took his phone and studied the picture closer. “Is she kissing your neck?”
“No.”
Miles now snatched the phone and studied it. “And her hand--.”
“No. Nothing happened. The wild shit is this was a backroom photoshoot for the brand. We were posing for the designer for their social marketing.”
“Does she know that?”
“I don’t know. I shit you not, she blew in like a hurricane and within 10 minutes she was gone. She didn’t let me explain. Nothing. Someone sent her that picture.”
“Someone wanted to start shit and she took the bait.”
“9 months. 9 fucking months I’ve been bending backward trying to erase my past for her. 9 months I’ve been putting in wild effort to show her, prove to her I’m not the same dude I used to be, 9 months I’ve been going hard trying to show her what she meant to me and that I’m not fucking around when it comes to her, but 10 minutes and it all blew the fuck up. Now I’m angry, what the fuck was I doing this whole time? Why?”
They didn’t bother replying because there was nothing else to say. They knew everything he was saying was true. He’d cut out all the extra shit months ago because he wanted to get closer to you. He’d decided to be the committing type and he was happy to do it, happy to show you he was more than his reputation. He’d turned on plenty of trips, parties, and things of the kind with his boys because it would have backfired. He’d worked hard to earn your trust but in truth, he hadn’t earned anything. You still saw him as he used to be. And that was the hard pill for him to swallow.
~~~~~~~
-1 Week Later-
“Uncle Lewis let’s go in the pool.”
Snapping out of it, he smiled at his niece then nodded. “Of course princess, let’s go.”
He walked to the edge of the pool and stood beside her. As they prepared his nephew approached and began doing the same thing. As they counted down from three he jumped at 2.
“Aw, Uncle Lewis you cheated!”
He shrugged and watched them leap into the water creating massive miniature splashes of the one he’d just created. When they emerged they came after him trying to attack him like little baby sharks. Each of their attempts was blocked and turned around on them. When one failed he grabbed the other and tossed them across the pool then did the same for the other. Soon there was almost just as much water outside the pool as there was inside.
By the time he got out of the pool the sun was setting and he was exhausted. Dropping himself into one of the lounge chairs, he sighed and allowed himself to relax. However, relaxation wasn’t in the cards for him. Though the activity from before worked to distract him from his heavy thoughts, now with the absence of said activity it all came flooding back. With an exasperated grunt, he grabbed his phone off of the side table and then went to his socials.
As he aimlessly scrolled through the posts he liked a few and kept swiping. Some of the posts he registered others he didn’t. Within a few short minutes, he somehow found himself on yours. He didn’t even notice until he was staring at one of your recent posts, a picture of yourself staring deeply into the camera. It looked like something shot for a brand or a photoshoot rather than a natural selfie.
For several moments all he thought of was how fucking gorgeous you were. The saying ‘the eyes are the windows to the soul’ rang true for you because every time he gazed into them he was always pulled into their depths to drown in their beauty. Fuck, he missed you he thought to himself. On the 4th post he’d landed on he sighed seeing you laughing uncontrollably with your best friend. You looked like you hadn’t a care in the world; like you were blissfully happy. The thought hit him then that you looked like you didn’t miss him one bit.
Acknowledging that made his heart thud painfully then his annoyance was back. It was just like you to leave him to fall apart while you escaped with carefreeness. He’d always suspected that he felt more for you than you felt for him. He guessed that this was his proof. He tapped the tag in the photo of your best friend and found even more videos and pictures of you. The backdrop said you were either on an island or some European seaside town and you were enjoying yourself. He pressed his finger to the screen, freezing the video on your smiling face. Drinking wasn’t really his thing, but fuck did he want a drink or three right now.
“You’re messing yourself up.”
Snapping his head up, he found his mother sitting beside him.
“Mum.”
“Not only are you messing yourself up with everything you’re keeping in but you’re trying to use everything you possibly can as an escape, case in point this last-minute trip,” she finished.
“Mum, it’s not like--.”
“And according to Miles and Daniel, you’re spiraling inside, and it’s not a little.”
“I’m fine, mum, I promise,” he half lied placing his phone on the side table face up.
“You’re not. How could you be fine? The first woman you’ve allowed yourself to fall in love with in years has done a flip and turn because of your actions.”
His brow rose, “What?”
“Acceptance of one’s actions is important, Lewis. I have always taught you that.”
“Naw. Nope, I didn’t do this. I didn’t make this happen. She is a distrustful person.” He sat up straighter then, “I worked my butt off to show her she could trust me, to show her that I wanted her and only her.”
His mother shook her head about that. “If you’re still doing the things you know are triggers for her, how are you proving anything?”
He looked at her incredulously. He knew she liked you a lot and had grown closer to you over the past months, but he didn’t know when she’d completely jumped on your ship while abandoning his.
“Mum, I can’t control half the things she thinks,” he pleaded.
“The pictures Lewis. The pictures and your choice of words.”
He sighed then because he knew that she’d talked to you already. He was tempted to ask his mother for the play-by-play, but he decided against it knowing she probably wouldn’t go for it.
“It was innocent. It was work.”
“Did you tell her that? You know someone sent her those pictures? Someone wanted to start problems and it was too easy because you helped them along.”
“I tried to tell her, but she basically called me a liar. She looked me in my eyes and decided not to believe me. Plus it’s a lot more than she ever afforded me. She’s photographed with a lot of guys all the time; some work, some not, she doesn’t explain any of it to me, yet I trust her enough to believe it’s not something wild or disrespectful. Yet when it comes to me, I’m automatically the knob.”
“Lewis,” she warned.
He raised his hand, sighed out then leaned back in the chair.
“Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Sorry.”
They sat in silence for a few moments before he continued. “She treats me like an option mum--a bloody option. This whole year, the 9 we’ve been together and the 3 it took to claim her, I’ve treated her like my only choice.”
The truth to those words was a truth he’d buried deep. His mother reached over and took his hand.
“Sweetie,” she began.
He knew what was coming, knew she was either going to defend you or try to soothe the pain he felt. He didn’t want either.
“She acts like I never said the words.”
Another truth he’d buried. “I said them, I meant them and she--she never said them back, never even acknowledged them.”
That night was still fresh in his mind. The night when his body and heart felt matched perfectly, it was the night he’d said the words he’d felt for weeks and weeks before. He’d stared deeply into your eyes and said them. ‘I love you.’ He’d meant them. He didn’t know he could still truly feel that way about anyone or feel enough to say the words. You’d proven him wrong, and he was cut up because of it.
 “Lewis, I’m thrilled that you’ve finally found someone that you want in your life for more than a few months. It makes me so happy that you have found someone to love. She is a wonderful woman, but, who cares what she does? If this is how you feel how you truly feel, if she is who you choose and wholeheartedly want beside you then you are supposed to be with it be about her no matter what.”
“Seriously!? No.”
“That my love, is the difference between a boy and a grown man. A grown man is one hundred percent true to what’s in here,” she reached over then pat his chest just over his heart. “He is about it, and nothing changes it because it does not matter.”
“How—H--how do I do that? How in the world do I put myself out there--,” he voiced before she cut him off.
“--And invite her to break your heart? Is she worth the risk?”
He didn’t want to open his mouth to even answer this. If you weren’t worth it, he wouldn’t have spent so much time perusing you. He never would have made so much of an effort to include you in his world and life, he wouldn’t have waited 6 fucking months to sleep with you so both of you were sure where your hearts were, he wouldn’t have ever told you he loved you. Of course, you were worth it but the memory of the look in your eyes as you spoke to him, the last thing you’d said to him held part of him back.
“I have always been and will always be that bitch with or without you.”
That coupled with the way you looked at him just before the elevator doors closed held him back.
“Lewis!”
“I—I don’t—I don’t know anymore.”
He rubbed his forehead. “I thought I knew, thought I was so sure, I was sure, but--I don’t.”
This was fucked, he thought as he felt his mother’s eyes boring into him. When she stood she wrapped her arms around him, hugging him as she did when he was a child after a spill. He took a deep breath and slowly let it out while he relished this comforting embrace.  It was in his mother’s loving and judgment-free arms he finally broke letting it all go.
Hours seemed to pass this way, or perhaps it had been just mere minutes. When his sister approached he felt heaps better but his heart was still heavy. A notification from his phone drew his attention as his sister sat on the floor before him. As he checked it, his sister gave her best attempt at a pep talk. Some words he caught others he missed but the sentiment was sometimes time helped people see the error of their ways and come up with ways to fix the errors. He didn’t know if she meant his errors or yours.
He went into his socials DMs and found a message from your best friend. After hesitating for a few moments he tapped into it and found a video. It took him to a recent video that was only available to her close friends. Your face came into view, and he instantly noticed the tears on your cheeks. You held your hand up to block the camera view, but the angle only changed.
“When bestie is tired of frontin' for the gram with the having the time of my life posts and allows herself to be sad and you gotta cheer her up,” your best friend said.
“Stop. You can’t record me like this. I’m not sad,” you protested.
“No?”
You were quiet for a few seconds. “No.”
Your voice was clouded as if your throat was tight words struggled to make it through. “Not sad—really, really sad,” you said voice a sobbing whine.
Fuck, he thought. He hated seeing you cry.
“What—what do I—do I do now?”
“Allow yourself to feel it,” your friend suggested.
You sobbed some more, and he watched your friend hug you before the video ended. So many things flew through his mind but the two things that kept coming around. The first was how much he missed you.
The second, you were worth it.
~~~~~~
-Y/N-
Everyone said that the first month of a breakup was always the hardest and those words were proving true. Since those elevator doors had closed you’d done everything to keep yourself moving. You piled on work to make sure you had no free time to sit and think. However, that didn’t quite work because wherever you went, something reminded you of him. Either it was a café or a location you went to for a shoot, or even something you ate. You nearly threw yourself into the ocean when one of the set interns brought you a glass of Almave.
When work didn’t prove successful, you picked yourself and your friends up for a girls’ trip to a faraway island. You drank, partied, and posted it all on your socials hoping you could fake it till you made it, but the faking became too much. By nightfall every night, you wallowed with a bottle or two of wine.
While you were beyond pissed at Lewis you also knew that picture was sent to you on purpose. You weren’t an idiot and had dealt with plenty of conniving, duplicitous bitches in your days. You knew someone was trying to fuck with you and start shit and you were giving them what they wanted. That didn’t matter because none of that changed the content of the photo.
Every time you came back to that no matter how much of your anger had dissipated, it all came back with that one nugget of fact. It was straight-up disrespect. If the tables had been turned and it was you, Lewis would have made a huge fuss over it by being extra petty. You refused to believe you were in the wrong, but several bits of your interaction tried to come through to show you had been in the wrong for a few things.
You were a passionate person and usually when arguing that passion shines through and oftentimes you get reckless at the mouth not caring how your words are thrown together or the force of those words. You knew you fought dirty; it was the only way you knew how. You blamed it on the years of living a single and independent life after one of the worst breakups of your life. It had caused more damage than good. You’d had no one to answer to, no one to consider or consult and you oftentimes still lived there in your head. It was a major switch to flip and a switch you failed, more times than you liked to admit, to flip.
You knew that night you’d said whatever came to mind and didn’t care if the words hurt. In fact, you said some things to cause pain and that was the source of your regret. Lewis had often told you throughout your 9-month relationship that your mouth would get you in trouble in more ways than one. He’d warned you about your recklessness and told you he wouldn’t stand for it because if he really wanted he could get just as reckless as you.
That was one of the things you loved about him. He wasn’t afraid to call you out on your bullshit and put you in your place when you got into your bad girlfriend mode.
Sighing, you raised the glass of wine to your lips and guzzled until it was empty. Your eyes fell to the now empty wine bottle, and you debated with yourself over getting another. It was the 2nd bottle of the night, and you knew if you got a 3rd you’d have entered lush territory, but you didn’t care enough to resist. So you slinked across the kitchen to the wine fridge and grabbed another bottle of wine, but before you closed it you grabbed one more just in case.
After you’d popped the cork and filled your glass to the brim your phone went off with a security notification. Checking the application, you reviewed the notice of someone entering your code into your security gate.
“What the hell?”
Another notification came in informing you a car was pulling up the drive. You went over the registered movements watching the videos to figure out if you had a security breach or if someone was just showing up unannounced. On the 3rd video, you realized who it was.
“No fucking way.”
You walked out of the kitchen, through your home, and to your front door. Before you got there, the bell rang. Once you turned the corner you saw who it was through the intricately decorated glass doors. Lewis Hamilton. Neither of you moved. You stood there staring at each other. You couldn’t read the expression in his brown eyes, but you could read the dark circles underneath them and his lackluster complexion. He looked slightly sick but also indifferent. You couldn’t help but wonder if he was having as hard a time as you were. You’d purposely stayed off his and his friends' accounts to avoid any excessive thoughts of him.
Lewis didn’t move a muscle, he patiently waited for you to make your move. It was a move you didn’t know how to make. You’d be a liar if you said you hadn’t wanted him to run after you and fight some more, but you also didn’t want to see him again. So one hand itched to grab the knob and open the door for him but the other hand wanted to override the security system and shutter down your house.
You closed your eyes and took several deep breaths giving your body control to see which side won. When your hand wrapped around the knob you wanted to break it. Once you opened the door, you snapped your eyes open.
“What the hell are you doing here? How did you get past my gate?”
Lewis scoffed and slightly shook his head before speaking, “Let me in, Y/N.”
You scrunched your face and doubled down on your annoyance. “What? Not a chance in hell. Answer me. How?”
When your best friend's name came out of his mouth your eyes bugged. There was no way.
“Bullshit! There is no way my best friend would give you my security code for my gate without letting me know. There is no way!”
He looked unamused now.
“Yet she did.”
You studied him still shocked.
“Let me in.”
“No. Why would I do that? We have nothing to talk about.”
“I think we have a lot to talk about.”
You scoffed. “Five weeks too late. Anything I had to say was said already. We’ve both said enough. You should go 44.”
Lewis took a sharp breath in and released it. As it came out it sounded like a hiss. “Oh boy. Y/N, stop talking! For real just stop—fucking talking and let me in!”
“What the fuck?! Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to? Do I fucking look like one of your side bitches, or your groupies?!”
From the heat rushing through you, you could tell that your anger was beginning to really boil now. With quick moves, Lewis moved from his side of the door to close the space between you. Before you knew it, he had one of his hands cupping your skull and his lips pressed to yours. Like magic as if on command you stopped moving and any thought of protest faded, hell any thought at all faded.
Lewis’ lips moved against yours in a way you’d found yourself missing the last five weeks. He kissed you like a starved man, like a man who’d come back to claim what was his and your body reacted in the only way it had ever reacted—eager acceptance.
A small whimper escaped you and that was when Lewis backed off. You kept your eyes closed relishing the feelings that had now bubbled up within you, feelings you’d been working overtime to suppress and ignore. One kiss was all it took for the geyser to erupt.
“You talk to fucking much for your own good,” Lewis whispered.
You could feel the whisps of his breath against your face and picked up the scent of mint, and some form of berry. You tried to control your breathing so he wouldn’t see how much he still affected you. Opening your eyes, you peered into his glossy doe ones.
“You’ve said more than enough. I still have shit to say. So listen.”
Lewis then squeezed your hip bringing you back to the present. It was then you realized your body was pressed to his and his hand was gripping you holding you against him controlling your body like he always did. Shit, you thought. You loved when he took control, loved how he always knew how to shut you up when you got into one of your what he would call Y/N fits. Lewis squeezed your hip once more while biting his bottom lip and you wanted to knee him in the balls because of how easy it still was for him to turn you on.
As if he knew it too, Lewis released you as quickly as he’d grabbed you and walked into your house. A shiver rushed through you making you shudder. Asshole, you thought while you closed and locked your door. When turned around he was standing there waiting for you. Rolling your eyes, you led the way back to the kitchen. Once there you grabbed your glass and finished it.
“Speak.”
Lewis scoffed. “Don’t test me, Y/N.”
Clenching your jaw you refilled your glass then watched him with slightly narrowed eyes. You were not going to make any of this easy for him.
“I’m tired of these subs you keep throwing my way. So fucking tired of it. It’s like you enjoy being cold and evil to me and that’s not even cool. I’ve never taken joy in being cold to you.”
Shaking your head you took another sip from your glass.
“I’ve known you for years. Yeah, it wasn’t like we were in the same friend group, but we were cordial. I’ve wanted you the entire time I’ve known you. Yeah, yeah, I was messing with other women throughout that time.”
“Messing? Just say fucking. Call a spade a spade and move the fuck on,” you blurted out.
“Again, stop talking!”
His voice bounced around the kitchen, but you didn’t feel fear. You’d never feared him. You knew he wasn’t one of those men who hit women. That had never and would never be him. Narrowing your eyes, you took a large gulp of your wine, your conflicting feelings wreaking havoc on you.
“You act like you don’t have a past or even things from your past you’re ashamed of. Shit Y/N! I’ve told you I am not that man anymore, I’ve changed.”
“I don’t believe you.”
The silence stretched and you kept your eyes on him. He looked hurt but also frustrated. “I get that, and I’ve been killing myself by doing what I can to prove it to you, to show you I deserve your time.”
Shaking your head you scoffed. “You don’t have to prove shit else, Lewis. I have all the proof I need; I saw it all in that picture!”
“The picture was bullshit. Tell me you don’t get someone is fucking with you.”
“Again why do they want to do that Lewis? Huh! Is it because of your thot ass!”
“Oh my god, here we go again! Stop throwing my past in my face. I’ve owned it and have walked away from it. That picture was bullshit. I was working. What that picture doesn’t show--.”
You grabbed the wine bottle and began walking away. “I don’t give a shit anymore!”
Lewis’ hand wrapped around your wrist stopping your movement. “It was a photoshoot, Y/N. Someone took a picture of an impromptu photoshoot and sent it to you out of context.”
You scanned his eyes for any sign of a lie.
“You’re lying.”
“I have never lied to you. I swear it. You can even go to the brand owner and find out, it’s easy to do.”
You couldn’t believe that. “You’re lying Lewis.”
“I’m not. I told you I would never do some shit like that to you.”
You kept scanning his eyes unable to wrap your head around what he was saying. He had to be lying. Right?
“Look--,” he began dropping his hand and releasing you. With a sigh, he continued, “I came here to give you this.”
He then pulled something from his back pocket and held it out to you. The large brown envelope in his hand looked like doom in the form of an office supply.
“This is the last goddamn time I’m going to have you throw my past in my face. The last fucking time, Y/N. It’s not fair and I shouldn’t have to explain shit to you because this was before you and has nothing to do with us, here or now, but for some fucking reason I feel like I have to, and it irks the shit out of me especially since you don’t give me the same courtesy.”
His words felt like dull blades whipping against your skin. That flared your anger.
“You don’t have to explain shit to me.”
“Shut up!”
That was it. Though you liked it when he stood up to you, you hated feeling this backed into a corner, especially with the truths he’d just dropped.
“Listen, you’re not gonna be--.”
That was all you got out before Lewis’ lips were pressed to yours once again and again everything stopped. His lips manipulated you making you slump back against the wall you hadn’t realized you were pressed to. Lewis’ large hand squeezed your hip once again and you’d never wanted to strip someone more than him right now. When he pulled his lips from yours he kept his forehead to yours.
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“You’ve never fucked with a guy like me. I told you that 9 months ago and it’s still true. I’m not going to just let you talk to me any old way. Those other fools were weak as fuck. I’m not weak. I can handle your ass,” Lewis said.
He didn’t need to say shit else because you were now turned the fuck on. Your eyes locked and it took everything in you to remain composed though his lips looked more and more tempting with each passing second.
“Are you listening now?”
You had no words.
“I’m done with that life. It’s boring, it’s old and to be honest it weighs me the fuck down. I want you and it goes past sex, it goes past claiming you or getting a notch, or even letting the world know I got you. None of that matters to me, it never has. I want you. I want Y/N. I’ve been real this entire time.”
Again he pushed out the envelope to you.
“After I give you this it’s all in your hands, your court, your decision. I’ll chase you but I’ll only chase you so far. This is how far.”
Your eyes dropped to the envelope between your bodies, but you didn’t reach for it. You couldn’t. You were actually scared of it and what it may hold. Glancing back at him, you studied his face.
“Your decision, make it. If it’s not me then cool. No hard feelings, we’re still friends and I’ll wish you nothing but the best but,” Lewis paused then cupped your chin as he pressed himself against you more. With his face mere centimeters from yours, he finished, “My lips will not touch yours until you come to me for it.”
Holy shit, you thought to yourself.
“Our next kiss if it’s in the cards will be done by you, not me.”
From the look in his eyes, you could tell he was serious. You could tell he meant this with everything. He was done chasing you, done giving and giving only to have you keep him at a distance. Fuckity, fuck, you thought.
“Are you gonna take it?”
You wanted to shake your head, but you couldn’t move. It was like he was the headlights, and you were the deer. You recognized the fear you felt. You knew it was do or die and you knew this was the moment of truth for your relationship. With what he’d told you about the picture being a set up you were more confused than ever. Rightfully, he shouldn’t even be here right now, not after your conversation before and how it all went down. He was still here trying to get you back.
You slowly took the envelope with a shaky hand, the only tell of your fear. Lewis slowly backed away from you while keeping his eyes on yours. When he was a few feet away he turned and began walking out of the kitchen.
“So that’s it?”
Lewis stopped then looked back at you. His expression was different now. You could tell how hurt he was now, how much you’d hurt him.
“You tell me, Y/N.”
You didn’t know what to tell him, so you didn’t say anything. Lewis nodded, the disappointment filling his eyes before he turned from you and walked away. You stood there listening to him walk through your house, his footsteps getting further and further away. When you heard the door close you released breath you didn’t know you were holding. The notification sounds from your phone told you that he’d driven down the drive and left the property.
It was then you put the envelope on the kitchen counter and took several deep breaths trying to calm yourself. No matter how many breathing exercises you did you still couldn’t calm down. Your mind raced replaying the conversation, dissecting every move, word, and glance, and analyzing it against every other conversation over the last 9 months. When your legs gave way from the weight of it all, you dropped to the floor. One question kept screaming in your head.
Had it all truly been wasted love or was there still hope?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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