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girlokwhatever · 8 days

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can we get a Paige x reader where Paige is like coming to terms with being gay or like coming out pleasee 🙌

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡awakening,,

paige bueckers x fem!reader

paige vividly remembers the day she realized you were her gay awakening.

the two of you met in a human development class. you came in late on the first day and sat down right next to her, some of your hair sprawled right onto her computer. you immediately apologized, pulling your hair into a bun and sending her a soft smile. obviously it wasn’t a big deal and she told you that, helping to ease your nerves.

you thought she was pretty, hair also pulled back in a bun and sat comfortably in a sweatsuit. she smiled at you with such reassurance it melted you, maybe she knew how nervous you were.

you and paige quickly became close. you worked on assignments together, went out to lunch after class, and she even introduced you to all her basketball friends. you also introduced her to yours, hiding your blush when your friends sent you suggestive glances. but it wasn’t like that, paige was just your friend. you didn’t even think she was gay. whenever the two of you talked about your past relationships, she only ever talked about guys.

it was your first year at uconn, so you were definitely trying to just navigate your way around your first year. you also really missed your parents. when paige got her injury during a game and couldn’t play anymore, you saw how much it affected her. you remembered telling her all about your family and she said they sound super fun to be around, so you asked her if she wanted to go back home with you.

she said yes.

everyone loved her, to say the least. she felt so welcomed in your home. your mom even made her a ‘get well soon’ cake. your younger siblings clung to her, asking to play basketball and video games.

paige really loved your family.

you carried her bag to your room and told her that you’ll have to share a room since there’s no other space. you even offered to pile up blankets on the floor and sleep on that, but she refused to let you do that. i mean, it wasn’t really a big deal. you’ve shared a bed before.

you both took your respective sides of the bed, but paige’s heart was pounding for some reason and she couldn’t stop thinking about you. your scent was everywhere, permeating her senses and making her mind all fuzzy.

that’s when it happened. that’s when she realized she was so in love with you. so enamored by you that she hadn’t thought about anyone else since she met you. but she quickly pushed those thoughts back down. she knew you didn’t like her. there was this guy back at school that you’d been talking about and things seemed to be going pretty well. so instead of talking you to sleep and leaning into your warmth, paige turned her back to you and faced the cold-front.

after you guys got back to school things felt different.

you were going to one of the team’s games wearing a nika mühl shirt since paige couldn’t really play at the moment. when she saw, she insisted you change to her jersey. you said no because nika was also your friend, but she really kept pushing it.

“this is stupid.” she heard you mutter it under your breath, probably hoping she wouldn’t hear. you ended up not changing, and paige gave you the silent treatment. she started to regret introducing you to her friends, she only wanted to you care about her.

another incident happened when paige met the guy you’d been talking to, jeremy.

he was hanging out at your dorm with you watching a movie. Godzilla or something. it was alright, but you couldn’t really say you were having fun. he was really nice and funny, but he wasn’t really what you were looking for. maybe he’d be more fitting as a friend.

paige, not knowing you were hanging out with him, walked straight into your dorm blabbing about how she bought you snacks for your movie night. the same movie night she said to cancel because she couldn’t make it.

“these were the last two bags they had and i got so freaking excited-“ she’s looking up at you, letting her jaw fall before she quickly catches it. she didn’t know he’d be here with his arm draped around you. she didn’t even know you two were still talking.

paige had been telling herself that she didn’t like you ever since that night at your house. she’s not into you and definitely not gay. but now, in this moment, she feels that mask slipping away and being taken over by hurt and anger. you must’ve been glad she canceled plans so that you could hang out with your boy toy.

“paige.. this is, um. this is jeremy. jere, this is paige.”

jere. she’s mentally rolling her eyes but putting a smile on her face. you’re walking towards her in the kitchen but when she notices him following behind you all she can think about is stepping back and far away from this situation.

“hey, nice to meet you.” he’s holding his hand out for paige to shake, and she does. all while feigning her perfect smile. you see right past her though.

“nice to meet you too jimmy.”

“jeremy.”

“oh, yeah, my bad, jeremy.”

she catches you glaring at her and begins to feel a little bad, but this guy doesn’t deserve your attention and your time. she knows you’re too good for him. she’s really just looking out for you, being your best friend. because that’s what you two are. best friends.

“well jeremy-“

“is it ok if i just, steal her away for awhile? really important stuff i gotta tell her.”

a flood of relief washes over you because he’s nodding and kissing your cheek as he walks out the door. you wipe his kiss away and take a seat on one of the stools against the counter. you can’t believe the audacity on paige, but you’re silently thanking her for getting rid of him.

“what’s going on? what’s so important that you have to tell me right now?”

“oh, that was just an excuse to get him out.”

“what?!”

“well i could tell you didn’t want him here so..” she didn’t actually know if that was true, but she wanted him gone. and now he is. the grin on her face angers you, even though she’s right. how smug shes being about it rubs you the wrong way and you’re almost embarrassed because she’s right—you didn’t want him here.

“aw thanks paigey. i really wanted you to kick out my date.”

paige wants to scream in your face about how much she likes—no, loves you. she refrains though. she knows you don’t feel the same and doesn’t want to lose your friendship. the friendship that has held her together when all she felt like doing was falling apart.

she goes on the defensive because she doesn’t like your tone or the fake smile you’re giving her. she just wants to lay down with you and catch up on life, maybe ask why you didn’t tell her about him. but as soon as she starts talking, she regrets it.

“sorry i was trying to be a good friend. sorry as soon as i said i couldn’t make it you decided to have your fuck buddy over to take my place.”

“are you being serious? you canceled on me! and by the way, he’s not my fuck buddy.”

“then what is he? your boyfriend?”

you don’t really know what to say because she has a point, he’s not your boyfriend. in your heart, he’s nothing to you romantically, but you don’t want to give her a satisfaction of being right.

“i don’t know, maybe! he fucks me like he loves me.”

you’re walking away from her and into your room, searching for your pajamas. you switch your clothes out and you hear her footsteps tracing yours.

she stands there watching you change, feeling her whole body light up. what does that even mean, he fucks you like he loves you?

it’s when her stomach sinks that she knows you’re all she cares about, and she’s not afraid to admit it anymore. she’s never felt this type of jealously before. she’s never been in love like this before either. with a girl. is this what it’s like?

“what does that mean?”

you grow hot under her gaze, wondering why it’s bothering you now that you’re half naked in front of her when it’s never bothered you before. she’s got this solemn expression on her face and it feels like she trying to look into your brain.

“what does it matter to you?”

you realize you didn’t like jeremy because you really just wanted paige. it hurts that you’ll never have her and you’ll just have to find someone else, hoping they can make you feel a fraction of the way she makes you feel. you realize with paige that even if you’re arguing, you’ll always be happy to see her. to feel her presence in any room. she’s always saying the stupidest things and making you smile.

paige fears the same thing. is she going to have to settle for someone else that isn’t you? all because it took her so long to be ok with who she is and how you make her feel. even now, your anger all directed towards her, she admires and loves you. you’re so beautiful and genuine. she remembers when you two went out last month, probably the last time you hung out without arguing, and you had the biggest smile on your face. she realizes now all this is because of her. she argues with you and pushes you away because she’s too drawn to you. if she keeps you close, she can’t stay away.

“because.”

“because? because what, paige?”

“because i really love you.” she pauses, trying to find the wording so she doesn’t fuck this up. you’re staring at her, wide eyes, and you think deep down maybe it’s as more than friends.

“i really love you. more than anyone else i think. more than i’ve ever loved a girl, or a guy. i love you in the type of way where i can’t stay away from you and i have this weird feeling whenever i see you. like butterflies. i love you in the typa way where i want to hold you and kiss you, and spend all of my time with you cause when you’re not around all i do is think about you. even when you’re around, i can’t think about anything else. i.. yeah. i know that i love you.”

“paige..”

“and i hate that you like that guy. jimmy or whatever. i hate him because you like him. i wish i could be him, i wish you felt that way about me and not him. i’ve never liked a girl before, especially not fallen in love with one, but you changed that for me. when you flung your hair all over my damn computer the first time we met, even then i had it out for you, just didn’t know it yet.”

her word vomit concludes and you’re both shocked. she’s shocked she admitted it and you’re shocked she feels that way. about you, of all people. you wish you had recorded it so you can listen to it on repeat forever.

as soon as you open your mouth to speak, she closing her eyes and leaning her head back against the door frame. she didn’t really think about the repercussions too hard and now she has to prepare herself for the rejection.

“paige, i love you too. as more than a friend. i never actually slept with jeremy because i just wanted you. i never said anything about it because i thought you weren’t into girls and-“

she’s got you wrapped around her, clinging to you and she’s kissing you with so much need it might consume her. your lips are soft and moving against hers so perfectly she thinks it might be a dream. she’ll wake up and realize none of it was real. because that’s what you are to her, a dream.

you pull away and look at her, foreheads pressed together. she’s looking at you too, a stupid smile on her face like she’s just won the lottery. in her own special way, she has.

“love you so much, you have no idea.”

she’s pulling you back into a kiss, cupping your face with gentle hands and pulling you impossibly closer. in this moment, you feel heaven’s eternal sun shine on you and paige, melting your souls together and making you feel all warm and bubbly.

“so, i’m gonna do this better later i promise, but will you be my girlfriend?”

“yeah, yes, i will.”

she’s kissing you again and now she’s certain it’s real. she feels you holding her and knows it’s real. she curses herself for not just admitting how she felt sooner, but it ended up with her here in your embrace, so how bad could it really be?

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩୧⋆｡🕯. -ʚɞ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊

HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOYED THIS!!

living for these requests atm

also i hope you guys listened to the song, it’s so gay awakening core

#paige buckets #paige bueckers #uconn wbb #paige bueckers smut #paige bueckers x reader #uconn huskies #uconn women’s basketball

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pixelchills · 10 days

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Chill's ramblings about the DCA fandom and personal feelings and issues towards TSAMS (both positive an negative):

(I'm writing this like an essay but treating it like a diary, so if I jump from subject to another, it is because I am just typing as the thoughts hit my head. Sorry for being so wordy.)

I simply feel like I need to write my thoughts down, so why not share them with you. Maybe you can validate my feelings or something, I don't know.

Intro:

So, oof, I got a fic rec from @thedenofravenpuff and I'm loving it so much I really wanna draw fan art for it...

But the problem is that it's a TSAMS fanfic and I've sworn to my name I'll never draw anything related to the show because that will make me engage with a part of the fandom I'm not comfortable with.

My biggest issue with TSAMS:

I have such complicated feelings towards the show and its fanbase and I do not wish to make my life and work more difficult because of it as it already is.

My own work and characters are already constantly being compared to TSAMS. When I first introduced Solar to my fic, he was constantly being referred to Eclipse from TSAMS. Now that the show had a character with THE SAME NAME, it has been even worse.

Dolldrop Moon has been compared to Lunar. Even though the dolldrops existed before the youtube channel was even created (and Lunar made his debut much later).

The biggest issue I've had has always been the fanbase, that takes the show as the canon for Sun and Moon from FNAF and uses it as an excuse to harass shippers like me because they think Sun and Moon are brothers.

I've first handedly seen the damage the fanbase has done to some of my friends who draw, or have previously drawn art for the show besides their own AUs and personal headcanons of Sun and Moon as lovers. I'm sorry to tag you, but @kriimhild and @fablekitty : I've seen how the immature side of the show's fans have treated you, I am so terribly sorry you've had to defend yourselves over and over again for things that were not meant to be mixed up.

I have posted some ideas of a possible Animutant Moon and Sun forming a polyamorous relationship with Solar in the future of "My Dear Daffodil" on my personal/adult Twitter account. Someone kept commenting on my posts that I was glorifying incest, because Sun and Moon were brothers and Solar was their cousin.

The post had "Animutant" in it. Not "TSAMS". These comments came from a person saying they were 19 in their profile. So it's not just kids who can't tell not every fanwork is about TSAMS. It's starting to be some adults too.

Vice versa I've had another person comment on my very clearly SFW Twitter how they're following me because I am an adult artist who draws TSAMS incest. I have never drawn TSAMS art. I ship Sun and Moon, but they're never related with family bond, because I love presenting them as lovers.

Why I ship Sun and Moon:

Because I am a hopeless romantic. I love romantic love. Every single story I write is always about love.

The only exception to this is the Poppy Playtime comic I am doing. But even then, I was originally planning for a romantic love between Dogday and the Player. Yet, I decided to leave it, and keep the relationship open for any type of representation the reader themselves will prefer.

I used to watch The Sun and Moon Show when it first started airing. I loved their playthroughs. I had a big distaste for them calling each other brothers, as well as some of the first "lore" videos they had. My biggest issue at the time was how Moon treated Sun, though. As someone who grew up with an abusive sibling, it sometimes just hit a bit too hard at home.

But it got better after Eclipse and Lunar appeared. Moon was more caring, and I started to really like his character development. There was one episode where Sun explained to Lunar that he and Moon had simply just "decided" to be brothers, despite not having a canonical relationship.

This actually made me really happy. Because the Old Moon was aroace, the love he felt was simply never meant to be romantic, but platonic. And by making Sun his brother by choice clearly indicated that Sun was always the one he loved the most - in a way that was suitable for aromantic person like him.

And it really made me enjoy the show for a while. Sun is my favourite character, and despite not always liking the way the show presents him, I always feel so much love for him, no matter the AU he is in. So I loved that Moon loved him more than anything, even if it was just platonic. Because I've always been under the impression that the canon Moon loves Sun, and is only under a virus to protect him. For me, the best part of any Sun and Moon AU is to know that Sun is the most important thing to Moon.

Why I stopped watching TSAMS:

And then that Moon I had really started to like, who loved Sun more than anyone else but just platonically, died.

It hurt so much I simply stopped watching the show. I've watched a few episodes here and there after that, but I am having a hard time liking the show the same as I did before.

Partially it's because of the fanbase. Partially it's because I don't find the lore very interesting and some of the stuff a bit repetitive. Partially it's because I am scared to see Sun eventually crumble up into madness, because he has been through so much.

I like the New Moon. He is funny and nice, what I've seen. His relationship with Solar has been interesting, and I genuinely hoped they would've been able to take the romantic route after Moon said he wasn't sure if he was aroace anymore. But as I said, I've only watched a few episodes after the old Moon died, so I don't know either of their characters that much to form any strong opinions about them. I just listen to the Monty and Puppet podcast once in a while and get a little inside to some of the lore that has been happening.

But hey, at least there's fanfics. Which is why I am rambling here today.

Fanfics:

It is a rare treat to find Sun x Moon fanfics that aren't simply just porn, or do not include reader inserts. So since my romance-filled brain needed something to fill the void, I've started reading some TSAMS fics with romance (that wasn't between Sun & Moon) and plot in them.

I know Solar was settled to be a "cousin" to the weird family tree of TSAMS. But I simply crave for Solar and New Moon to be at least queerplatonic. Solar is not from their dimension, no matter how much they decide they're 'cousins' it doesn't make him their real cousin or relative because they're not from the same world.

Sun and Moon are brothers but they technically gave birth to Eclipse, who then created Lunar so Eclipse is technically Lunar's parent and then brother and Lunar is Sun and Moon's brother and... do you see what I'm trying to say?

The family tree is so complicated that I don't think I'm a horrible person for shipping Moon and Solar and reading fics about them. Tell me if I am wrong though.

The FIC that is making me question everything:

So Puffy recommended this fic by @theinfamousdoctorf , "Eclipse Meets His Match".

I'm currently on chapter 40, and I am genuinely surprised how much I am liking this fic so far. It got everything; redemption and character growth, the representation of Sun as the good, glowing angel he is in my mind (for canon, and every AU. He is always perfect in my eyes I love him can you tell lol), slow-burn romance, drama, excitment, plot, jokes and funny moments... even if there are a lot of mentions of sex and sexual pleasure, it doesn't feel out of the place as there is so much more to it too.

Eclipse's redemption to become better and realising he is in love with Sun has been so interesting to follow. Sun deserves the love. I love when Sun is getting loved. I literally ship him with every other animatronic in the games and love it when people ship him with their self-inserts and OCs. Because I love him so much I want him to be loved in every possible universe he is in.

Even bigger bonus to this fic is the second pairing, Solar and Moon, which I already opened up about above. I don't know how much the fic is truthful to the canon lore of the show, but I wish to pretend this fic is the canon now /hj.

I love the characters and how they're written. I love the descriptions of their flaws and hopes and dreams. How vulnerable they can get. How closely they stick together. And as an appreciation for making me tearful and excited about fanfiction in such a long time, I would hope to be able to gift the author some fan art for their fic.

But I've sworn to not draw anything for the show. For my own good. I've got too many awful comments already from the fans of the show despite never doing any art for it. I am just scared it will turn things worse.

End words:

I don't know if creating a new alias would be the right choice. So my main name/account would be spared from the confusion that the show's fans seem to stirr into, where one tsams artwork turns all of the artist' work into tsams.

I don't care if the art style would be recognisible. The artist would be me, but not PixelChills. Just so I could gift something to the author of this fic that is currently saving me from the boredom of being unable to write my own.

Thank you.

(This text has been typed on my phone, so pardon for any typos).

-Chill

#pixel talks #rambles #tsams #fic rec #essay #sorry my head is simply just confused

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gotham-daydreams · 6 months

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Hi im so sorry if this has been asked before but in your not series, which i absolutely adore by the way, Since Alfred getting the batfam to see the videos and investigate is what kicked the batfam off on their yandere domino effect, what would have happened if y/n kept in contact with Alfred and only Alfred? Maybe giving him little updates, nothing that could really be tracked but enough to tell them how everything is going maybe like through letters with no return address or something. would he still have done what he did? Or would we still have something else to kick the batfam off on their yandere mode, or would they just never realize that the y/n was gone?

Hello!

Considering what happens in the series and everything- I'd say that Alfred still would try to get the Batfam to look for Y/n. Since, well, I'll let you on a tiny little secret; Y/n did sort of do something like that, but its gotten to a point where there is less 'character', and it's more to the point. It's almost as if Y/n is trying to further distance themselves from the family altogether, and I wonder why they'd go and do something like that 🤔

Though- for the sake of the ask, let's say that all of that has yet to happen, and Y/n has been pretty good about sending letters and such. Alfred would be happier than he is in the series, I'll say that much, but ultimately I think he'd still eventually send out the Batfam to look for Y/n.

This is because Alfred wants to talk with Y/n, and I think I may have mentioned this in another ask- but he basically doesn't want to have to further deal with this "one sided nonsense" as I believe I put it. With no return address, or really anything to go off of location wise- even if he did write something back (and he has), then there would be no way he could send it to Y/n. Not to mention that over the months Y/n has been gone did he get more... greedy as he began to miss them.

Yes the letters are nice, and he does deeply appreciate and love how they're trying to keep in contact with him and only him by using such means, but that ultimately isn't enough for him. He wants to talk with them too, he wants to communicate, and most of all- he just wants to see them again. (Which, that in itself includes a bit more than just simply seeing Y/n, but that's for later.)

He wants to be in their presence again, and just... bond and talk with them without the pen and paper. He wants things to go 'back to normal' in that way, since he doesn't necessarily care if Y/n stays in the manor or not (he does, but he can look past it under certain conditions), he just wants to see them. A want which can develop into an obsessive need- kind of like how it does in the series.

Really, the way to have a happy Alfred that won't send the fam after your ass, is to honestly just visit him once in a while. Which, in itself may be a bit hard if you don't like the Batfam, and aren't willing to even risk them seeing you in the slightest, or just generally aren't comfortable in the Manor at this point. But even if it's just helping him out a bit in the garden, or generally with outside work, or sneaking in just to snag a snack he left out, then he'll be a significantly happier camper that won't manipulate and guilt trip the rest of the family to come and bring you back home. Not right away, anyways.

Just make sure he doesn't ever know if you get hurt or something. Especially if you got hurt at home or because of someone close to you. The intention will hardly matter to Alfred, believe me. The happier you keep him, and watch what you say, the less likely it is that he'll begin to start looking for little things that he'll use as reasoning for kick starting the family acknowledging/worrying about you.

Overall, just through letters and essentially one sided conversations, yeah- Alfred will still basically kick start everything.

The little updates and such will be appreciated, and he'll be fine at first, but at some point he's going to get more greedy, and will want to see Y/n. The letters and such won't be enough, and even if he'll still hang onto them, he's too selfish to be fully content with them for long.

So, yeah! Everything still sort of goes down about the same way as the series! :]

I hope this answered your question!

#talking daydreams #yandere batfam #platonic yandere batfam #platonic yandere #yandere alfred #yandere alfred pennyworth

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bonesox · 9 months

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OM! Brothers and What They Do When They Miss You

a/n: Sorry for not posting in a bit. I have been very busy! Also i hope my writing is alright.. i haven't written in some time.

Lucifer:

While he may try and hide it everyone can see it eating him from the inside out. Since you've been gone he's dealt out even more punishments than usual.

The brothers can hear his footsteps pacing back and forth in his room at all hours of the day. He's not used to not having a human sitting in the corner of his room keeping him company. Without you he is lonely and he is more spaced out.

Sometimes he goes into your room and walks around. He'll lay on your bed, touch the belongings you had left behind, and maybe even tidy up a bit. He realizes that it help his brain calm down so now he works in your room.

Mammon:

He tries not to show that fact that he misses you by pretending he doesn't miss you at all. The others can tell that he does in fact miss you by the amount of times he says he doesn't miss you.

Whenever he hears your name in a conversation his ears perk up and he listens. Of course since he's so occupied listening to the conversation/s he has bumped into many things like lampposts, tables, and other people.

He calls and text you constantly at all hours of the day asking how you’re doing and what you're doing and where you're going and.... just anything he can think of really.

Leviathan:

Ever since you left he has been cooped up in his room playing video games. He cries at any character that acts like you, has the name hair color as you, and has the same first letter as your name in their name. He thought video games would help distract him from missing you, but obviously not.

When his brothers try to get him out of his room he will become very irritated and lash out on all of them (this had ended in several repairs needing to be done to the house.)

He made a dating character look just like you so he could talk to them, but they aren't the real you. After a while he desperately misses talking to you so he ask if you want to play video games on a call.

Satan:

Books are what kept him sane while you were gone, but once he ran out of books to read all hell broke loose. It started out with simple bickering with his brothers and then developed into full blown fights. In addiction to that Lucifer of course would punish him for his actions which made him even more furious.

While reading all his books he couldn't help but see you in ever character. He then becomes obsessed with the character that acts just like you. He buys merch for them (going to leviathan for most of the help) and puts it all around his room.

He started writing a book about you and your amazing adventures in the human world. Though he may never publish it he always holds it near and dear to his heart.

Asmodeus:

As soon as you left his spending habits increased. He would buy any little thing that reminded him of you. In his room there was a little area dedicated to you and the things you enjoyed.

Lucifer punished him many times for going over his weekly spending limit. No matter the punishment he would always fall back into spending more money.

Now he sleeps with a bunch of pillows next to him to replicate you. Of course he calls you and chats nearly every day, but nothing can compare to you actually being there with him. Just to have you close he buys a ticket for you to go back down to devildom.

Beelzebub:

Since you had made your way back to the human world most of the food in The House of Lamentation had been eaten. Piles and piles of wrappers, boxes, and containers filled Beel and Belphie's room. He had resorted to eating even more since you had left, but no amount of food could fill his heart.

The family had started eating meals without him due to him devouring everything. He would eat alone in him room and imagine you there with him keeping him company. Many of the brothers have walked in on him talking to "himself."

Once a month (or even once a week) he takes trips up to the human world to spend time with you. From eating at buffets to eating at cafes, he does it all with you.

Belphegor:

Since you went to the human world he had found it extremely difficult to fall asleep. He would lie awake staring at the ceiling imagining what you had been doing or how your day had went.

Since he was quite sleep deprived from the restless nights he became more irritable. With any wrong word or move he would lash out. This of course lead him to constant punishments by the hands of Lucifer.

Now he has you send him some of your clothing so he can fall asleep at night with them wrapped around his hand (or even pillow). This method works fine, but of course it would be better for you to be right there with him.

#obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphie #obey me scenarios

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bitchhiker · 1 month

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actually how do you all interpret tcm Grandpa...because I am positive the intent of the 1st movie was that he was just a normal slaughterhouse worker and the unspoken humor/horror in his grand kids feeding him human blood to keep him alive and making him bash people with hammers while describing him as the best killer (of “beeves,” plural form of beef) there ever was, all without his lucid knowledge, is the unseen fall from grace—that without him they can no longer meaningfully differentiate between human and not, their treasured anecdote of Grandpa at his slaughterhouse job equivalent with their abduction and murder of an innocent girl, a logic developed in increasing isolation that the cook expects Sally to accept.

The old ways, Grandpa as their figurehead, are obsolete, no longer apply to THEM, but they emulate memories of Normalcy (often distant) the best they can. The way he is now he can't tell them they're wrong.

This passage from Chainsaw Confidential about Drayton—

On the one hand he’s getting off on it, and then he becomes ashamed of himself, and he looks back to old Grandpa, and he gets afraid of his own thoughts, and he gets afraid of what old Grandpa is going to think of him; and Grandpa doesn’t have enough sense to, he doesn’t even know he’s there anyway.

—could be interpreted in a couple of ways, but juxtaposed with his shame of "getting off" on it, maybe there's a fear that Grandpa would think he's a bad person? Not for NOT killing her, but the opposite...

Nothing directly contradicts the idea that Grandpa is a killer (of humans, too), but if their serial murdering and cannibalism had only started since they lost their jobs due to the “airgun,” it would be not too long ago if Hitchhiker is about 25, long after Grandpa stopped working if he is in his 100s. I know most of the sequels have their own take on the Sawyers being a serial killing clan with Grandpa as the serial killing patriarch, and the game is 100% that way, but I never got the impression from the 1st movie that there ever was a "family business" before Drayton.

Grandpa being an authoritarian and abusive figure who taught the boys everything they know (and is thus responsible) was never suggested by the first (and 2nd?) movie—all we know is that they love and care for him—but it is accepted by fandom/the video game as an explanation for their current state, since by design we know absolutely nothing about these people and where they came from, and that makes the most sense. This I mostly agree with, imagining the Sawyers as having a history of domestic violence, inwardly directed violence, just not. a long history of murdering randoms, given how bad they are at it.

idk I like the dramatic irony in Grandpa, who I doubt the younger Sawyers ever got to know, being forced into crimes he's not aware of, especially if it was all inspired by his previous, Normalized cruelty (the Normal Socially Acceptable kind of abuse it takes to maintain a nuclear family). Still in the end it’s about imitating the violence they know and directing it on a more…plentiful resource.

#texas chainsaw massacre #tcm #this was an ancient draft on my main but I’d like to post on here from now on

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stevesworld96 · 8 months

Text

look at me now (part two)

--- steve harrington x fem!reader

steve visits you before the vecna fight.

childhood friends to strangers to lovers. this is a more realistic look at developing a relationship with steve, set in canon while you know nothing about the monsters, or the nightmares, or all of his scars.

a fic about knowing steve before, during, and after the events of the upside down. including all the ways your friendship with him grows, wilts, then grows again - to blossom into something he probably doesn’t deserve.

tags: fem reader, no use of y/n, childhood friends, kissing, cliches, a lot of emotions, depression and suffering etc, mentions of death and injuries, steve retells canon events and deaths, codependent steve and robin, steve is so so so so so so so sad. hawkins doesn't get destroyed after the vecna fight - everything else follows canon

please read both parts, i worked so hard on this fic and i'm really proud of it :)

part one!!!

word count: 9280

Steve didn't call you the next morning.

You waited until noon. By that time morning was officially over, and your phone still hadn’t rang.

It was hard not to be upset about it after what happened the night before. You were just about to kiss him, and he knew it. Maybe after a night of sleep, he woke up regretting it.

Maybe that’s why he didn’t call.

If you didn’t talk to him, you would go mad with assumptions. If you thought about it long enough, you’d break your own heart.

It wasn’t that big of a deal. Steve could be forgetful. It’s possible that it slipped his mind, or Robin was still feeling unwell.

But if there was some other reason, you needed to hear it as soon as possible.

Before your evening shift at Roses you stopped by Family Video. You visited him there often, so he wouldn’t be amiss seeing you - hopefully.

When you walked into the video store, the sound of the bell had four heads snapping in your direction. You searched for the eyes you came here to see, and you didn’t notice the rogue tape on the floor that caught your foot. Robin, Dustin, Max, and Steve watched you trip, and you stuttered back to steady feet.

The two kids were behind the counter at the computer. There was a mess on the floor. Everyone was staring at you like you had turned into something terrifying after walking inside.

The three of them started whispering to Steve, Robin being the loudest. You caught, “go make her leave,” and, “why is she here?”

And you didn’t understand, and Steve was shuffling toward you like a fast-paced robot, and something felt seriously off.

Still, you smiled at him, something forced. “Hey.”

“Hey. Look - we - we’re closing early today, so…”

He was trying to walk you toward the door. You wanted to know why.

“Oh, well - I just wanted to come see you before work. You didn’t call like you said you would.”

“I know, I know.” He looked over his shoulder at the group behind him. They all made different faces and shooing motions. “You need to go, alright? You can’t be here right now.”

“Steve?”

You had made it to the door and he opened it for you. And he was giving you no sympathy in the way he looked at you, his features hard as stone.

“Did I - is this about last night?”

“No. It’s nothing to do with you, okay?” You didn’t believe him, and he didn’t try convincing you. Instead he pushed you through the threshold. “Just go. Go to work, I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Why are you doing this? Just tell me, Steve, seriously. I can handle it.”

The way he sighed was dramatic, closing his eyes and hanging his head, but it was real. Annoyance and frustration, that’s what it was - two things he never directed at you. At least, not anymore.

“Please. Just listen to me, for once. Please just go. I can’t talk to you right now.”

You didn’t have a choice, really. The other option was standing there and arguing with him, and you had a feeling he didn’t have a fight in him.

So you left. You heard the door close as soon as you turned your back.

He didn’t even watch you go.

The closer you got to your car, the more your throat burned. It was all a literal blur, with tears creating clouds in your vision.

Visiting him had done the exact opposite of your goal. It made things worse, somehow, even though everything was fine five minutes ago.

What the hell had happened between last night and right now? What could you have done?

Did Steve change his mind that fast?

You thought about last night and the way that you felt. Your hands shaking, heart beating, mind racing - it was the same now, but with a pit in your stomach and tear tracks on your face.

It didn’t seem fair. He didn’t have to be so cold.

Why were they all being so cold?

Maybe you had walked in on some important meeting. Max could have been telling them a secret, or Dustin could have been indulging an embarrassing story - or Steve could have been telling them what you had done last night.

That’s what he meant when he said he didn’t want to fuck things up. Because he knew how you felt - because you weren’t hiding it at all - and he didn’t feel the same.

And that’s why he didn’t call - because he was afraid to tell you.

Because everything would change. Again.

You felt it already in the way he looked at you. It wasn’t the same as it used to be.

And maybe it would only get worse.

...

Sundays were always the same. That was the only thought that got you through the mess of the day before.

No matter what happened throughout the week, there was always a reliable refuge on Sunday.

But Dustin’s bike wasn’t in its usual place on the edge of Steve’s yard. And Steve’s car wasn’t in his driveway.

You were too shy to call, even though you knew he wasn’t home to pick up. Part of you wanted to call Family Video in case he’d taken a shift - just to hear his voice - but you couldn’t bear it. If you embarrassed yourself in front of him again, you’d never live it down.

The worst part was knowing this could be all in your head. You could be putting yourself through emotional hell for nothing.

But you had a feeling that wasn’t the case.

Monday morning there was still no sign of Steve.

It was like there was something pent up inside of you that you could never get out - is this how he felt when you spent a week avoiding him? Confused, and lonely, and hurt?

All you wanted to do was go back in time and stop yourself from ruining everything.

Tuesday night brought a simmering heat that you wanted to boil over. The sadness ebbed, giving you a break from your self loathing and doubt, making room for a burning anger. One so hot it brought you to tears.

It was all so unfair. He spent so long convincing you he cared, only to show you unequivocally that he didn’t.

And you never should have let him back in, and you definitely shouldn’t have gotten close enough for your heart to break.

You tossed and turned for days, blaming yourself then him, never able to make up your mind.

More and more, it seemed like nothing mattered. There had to be something he wasn’t telling you. You couldn’t change anything, even if you kept crying or hoping or overthinking. You had given up hope that he would simply turn up at your door.

Of course, you still wished he would.

It was Wednesday evening when you finally got what you wanted.

The sun had just barely set, bathing that spring day in a light navy that was destined to get darker. That’s when a knock echoed from your door and you found Steve’s apologetic eyes behind it.

As you looked at him, the emotions you felt through the week rewinded. Acceptance, dread, anger - denial, shame, sadness - it all ran through like rushing water, leaving you with a pounding heart and unsteady hands.

Your lips parted for no words to pass through them. He was getting uncomfortable under your stare so you dropped it to the floor and rebuilt your resolve.

“What are you doing here?”

“I really needed to see you.”

His voice wasn’t soft. It was almost demanding, the way he said it. Urgent.

“Can I come in?”

You didn’t reply; you turned and walked inside, expecting him to follow. Heavy footfall echoed in your hallway stalking you to your kitchen.

You kept your back to him because you didn’t have the energy for a face-off. You’d rather pretend to look interested in the newspaper that sat on the counter in front of you.

“What’s up?” you asked, playing nonchalant.

“I really don’t have a lot of time,” he said. You heard him tapping the marble kitchen island countertop.

“Okay…”

“I know you’re mad. I know I forgot to call, and I’ve been gone, but I can’t explain anything. Not right now, maybe… not ever.”

“Then… why are you here?” A genuine question.

“Because -”

A crack in his voice brought silence that was louder than a crowded room; one where you could hear his deep breathing stutter.

He was probably trying to find the right thing to say. Something that would make you forgive him instantly - words sweeter than a bouquet of flowers and an apology letter. You already decided you weren’t going to fall for it.

“Because I needed to see you. That’s it.”

“Steve.”

“Can you look at me? Please?” And it wasn’t urgency this time, but desperation.

You turned to face him but your gaze stuck to the floor. He planted himself on steel toed combat boots that you had never seen him wear before.

“I know you’re pissed off and I know it’s unfair, but can you pretend to not be? For two minutes? Because I - I didn’t come here to fix it. But I had to see you while I had time.”

It had you sneaking up his frame, curiosity taking the place of boldness as you put together the pieces of what he was wearing.

He looked dressed for war, or to go play pretend army man.

Dark green cargo pants that would have been too big without the tight belt tying them to his waist.

Some kind of kevlar vest was over the brown leather of a jacket with patches all down the arms, all of them representing something American militaristic.

Dirt coated fists, up to his wrists and you were sure passed. On his face from his ears to under his eyes, his forehead down to his neck.

His neck, a nasty welt wrapped all the way around it twice. Dark red in its obvious freshness, splotchy in a need to be cared for, cleaned, disinfected. It looked like he had gotten into something bad, and there were no clues for who had given him such an ugly injury.

You stared, and your nails cut your palms, and you spoke too loud when you said, “What did you do?”

He knew what you were referring to, looking down as if he could see it. You watched as his lips tried to form words of defense that never came.

“Did you - did you -”

“No.”

“Steve.”

“If I told you what happened, you wouldn’t believe me.”

“Tell me.”

“Next time I’m here, I’ll tell you everything. I promise.”

You hadn’t noticed you had stepped closer to him until you had his eyes in yours, looking at you like he meant every word.

“You’re scaring me, Steve.”

“I know. I know, I’m sorry.”

He checked his watch, then sighed.

He stuttered over his words like he didn’t know what he was saying. “We - Robin and some others, we’re - we’re - we’re going out of town tonight. I don’t know when I’ll be back. I’ll let you know, okay? I’ll call you.”

“I don’t understand -”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you, honey, I’m sorry.” He rubbed at his eyes for a second, like he could buff out the stress in them. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days.

Your concern only grew as he took a small step backwards.

“Steve, you - can’t you just stay here with me? Why do you have to go?”

“I’ll be back soon. Don’t worry, okay?” It sounded like he was trying to soothe himself rather than you. “I’ll be back.”

You called his name, trying to stop him, but he turned from you.

“I won’t forget to call you this time, okay?”

You took those steps toward him, you reached out to grab him, but he walked out of your reach. When he got to the doorway, he stopped. He stood still for just a moment, and then he was turning again.

He looked like he had made a decision, and then he was coming back to you.

And when he was in reach, you took hold of him. You pulled him in and he was all around you, hugging the life out of you, trying to squeeze all the worry out of you.

You pulled away just enough to look at him. His jaw fit in the palm of your hand like you were his mold. You held him as gently as you could, and you pulled him in, and you didn’t stop pulling until his lips hit yours.

It was a kiss that should have happened days ago - maybe a long time before that. One that was brand new but still familiar; you could smell his cologne underneath leather, you felt his hands on your waist squeezing tight.

You kissed him only just, and you felt overwhelmed with how much emotion you were trying to pour into it.

When you pulled away, big hands held the sides of your face and brought you back. Your neck craned so he could kiss you how he wanted to for a second time; a messy mesh that made things feel okay, just for that moment.

And it didn’t last long enough, because nothing so good ever did. When he broke it off he dropped his hold on you and walked away, slowly and then too fast. And that was it, and he was gone, and you wanted to chase after him but you were stuck where you stood.

It wasn’t fair.

I needed to see you, he had said, but he couldn’t even give a reason. You had no idea how selfish he was being.

You wouldn’t even look at him. And when you did, it was like you were scared of him. And you were angry, and he couldn’t fix a fucking thing - not when the weight of this town was on his shoulders.

He wiped the taste of you off his lips and pulled on the winnebago’s door until it creaked open.

Because I may never see you again, is what he wanted to say. He wanted to give you a reason. He wanted to rip himself apart, there in your kitchen; show you the fresh wounds and the healed scars and the blood stains. He wanted to fall and cry and forget, without feeling bad for hoping you’d catch him.

He walked into that god awful RV, sat in the driver’s seat, and started driving without so much as a second thought.

And he was scared even though he couldn’t be. It was like his heart skipped a beat - he felt it falling out of his chest, into his stomach. A flash of cold crept up his spine until his hands were ice. Open wounds on his back, chest, arms all throbbed, drumming a beat that was fiercely alive. A reminder he appreciated.

A deep breath was all it took, and every punch he had ever thrown played in his mind. Every swing, strike, and scream. All of them landing back on him.

He’d do it all again, tonight, because he had to. He didn’t sign up for it. And it wasn’t fucking fair. But he made his choice, and this was it.

And this time, Steve didn’t know who would come out of it alive.

So maybe it was selfish to ask the group if he could make a pitstop at your house when there was something bigger looming. And maybe it was unfair, because nobody else got to say their just in case goodbyes.

But he wouldn’t feel bad. He couldn’t, because every time he closed his eyes he was being dragged underwater, he felt that bat’s tail tightening around his throat, he heard the sound of teeth digging into his own flesh.

It was that jolt of helplessness, all over again, ten times worse.

It was nobody coming to help him.

It was being left for dead, to rot in the stomach of monsters he couldn’t fight off.

He could hear his own last words.

And he saw Robin at your front door telling you what happened with no explanation. You asking questions that would never be answered - being angry at him forever, because he didn’t call like he said he would. He saw you living without him - himself dying without you.

But he opens his eyes, and he’s still here. Driving down a winding road to some place that might be the death of him and all his friends. And he’s still breathing, and he feels you holding him like he’s worth more than the dirt and blood he’s covered in, and it’s enough. It has to be.

…

You wondered if your lips would ever stop buzzing - if the butterflies in your stomach would finally die. Neither happened by morning, and you were sure you were cursed to feel them forever.

There was no sense to be made out of the conversation you had with Steve the night before. The army gear he wore was confusing enough - the wounds he had and the words he spoke had your mind going haywire.

And you could do nothing but wait, and ask yourself the same questions. You spent your time finding distractions and not thinking too hard.

One day turned into two, and missing him never got comfortable. Concern sat in your chest like a rock. You couldn’t even look in the direction of his house without a chill going up your spine, and you had to sleep with the radio on to keep your mind from racing.

You couldn’t think. You didn’t want to.

Because - what if he wasn’t coming back?

You didn’t know, but you really wished he would have taken you with him to wherever he was going. If he was running away, he should have known you’d want to go, too.

Two days turned into four.

You weren’t okay until you saw him again.

It was his car pulling up in front of your house. You were out checking the mailbox when you heard the sound of an engine; you glanced over your shoulder, not expecting it to be his car, but when you realized, it felt like you had been run over by it.

Mail landed on the grass as your slipper caught the curb. His door opened and you were there, already on him, bouncing on your toes to wrap yourself around his neck. He caught you.

“Where the fuck have you been?” You breathed the words out. “Oh my god.”

“I’m sorry,” but he didn’t sound it. He sounded happier than ever.

It was purely opposite to how he spoke to you days ago. The grim in his words was gone, as was the grime. He was clean, and he had slept, and he was right there in your arms.

“Sorry doesn’t fix it,” you said. You didn’t notice you were crying until you saw tears dripping into his sweater. “You aren’t leaving again.”

He wobbled around until you were pressed up against his car door, your hug becoming even tighter.

“I’m sorry. I’m not leaving, I promise.”

“Never,” you said, and he laughed. “What happened, Steve? Are you going to tell me?”

You pulled back just enough to look at him, and you found him with his eyes shut tight.

“No.”

The wound on his neck was more of a bruise, now, dark reds and purples painting his skin like a necklace. You wondered how long it would be there - if there’d always be a scar. Time would tell.

He continued, “No - not right now. I don’t want to talk about it,” and you pulled him back into you, hugging him tight. “Not yet.”

“Whenever you’re ready,” you said, offering the patience he was asking you for. “I don’t care. Just don’t scare me like that again.”

“I’m sorry,” he said again. “God, I’m so sorry. I’m so happy. Missed you so fucking much, you have no idea.”

You wondered if you could stand right there in the street hugging him forever. In his arms, til the end of time, letting cars drive by and the seasons change around you, nothing ever pulling you apart. Never having anything between you again.

“Stay with me tonight,” you said. It was quiet, and it was a desperate beg. “Please. Can you?”

“I don’t know...”

He was pulling back and you didn’t want him to, but the way his big hand held your face had you reeling.

“I’ll stay as long as I can.”

“Just one night?”

He was pushing your hair back like he wanted it out of the way - like he needed it out of your face so he could get a better look at you. And his eyes roamed over you like it was the first time he’d ever seen you.

“I want to. I have to check on Dustin, later, and Nance - and Max, in the morning.”

You shoved your face back into his shoulder. He was here, but he wasn’t here to stay. And he had no answers for your questions. And, maybe, he wasn’t going to kiss you again.

Is that why you had a funny feeling in the pit of your stomach? Is that what you were so afraid of?

You didn’t understand what he was going through, and he wasn’t helping you to.

Maybe you didn’t have to know, or it wasn’t your place, but you ached with a need to help him. Curiosity ate at you, and the weary way he spoke kept feeding it.

But there was nothing you could do. You had started getting used to that feeling.

So, “Okay,” you said. Because you couldn’t push, you couldn’t ask. It was easier for him if you didn’t argue, and that’s what he needed. Something easy.

“Don’t say it like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you’re pouting.”

“I’m not.”

He laughed, something real and cute, and it had a smile starting to stretch on your face.

“I know you are. I know you.” He was speaking right into your ear; his quiet voice was the only thing you could hear. His voice was the same as always, stoking the flames in your heart and smothering the ones in your stomach. “Let me see.”

“I’m not pouting,” and you pulled your smiling face from where it was hidden. You pulled out of his hold, catching both his hands in yours. “Are you gonna come in?”

“I was thinking about it,” he said. So you led him inside.

…

And you hoped beyond it all that the week would be nothing but a blip in time, but it didn’t seem like things would go back to normal any time soon.

If Steve was distant before, he was miles away now.

He was trying, but there was always something he wasn’t saying. You had no idea how to get it out of him even after spending every day with him.

You didn’t see Robin again until you had already gotten used to the April showers, and she offered nothing more than meek smiles and one word answers during your hang out.

You hadn’t seen Dustin at all. Erica, either. Sundays had become like any other day.

Steve hadn’t mentioned the girl, but he talked about Dustin sometimes. Every few days he’d say he was going to check on him - for a reason you didn’t know.

Max was in the hospital. Steve didn’t say the reason or how she was doing. But you knew that on the days he visited her, he left home early and got back real late. You gave him his space on those days.

And then it was May, and nothing had changed, and you had gotten used to it.

...

The nights were starting to get warmer, and Steve was grateful for it. He could sit out on his patio all night, with nothing but a hoodie and half a pack to get him to too late.

He’d made a habit out of it without noticing. Out of staying up until three every night. Out of losing count of the stars in the sky. Out of chain smoking until he couldn’t hold his eyes open.

He used to be scared of the dark. When he was a kid, it was the only fear he could fathom. And, recently, it terrified him.

Now, he looked over his backyard, into the stretch of forest beyond it, and he didn’t feel a thing. If there was something hiding in the shadows, something he should be afraid of, it’d have to show itself first.

He wasn’t wasting any more time being afraid of story book monsters that might exist, because he knows what fear is now. He’s looked it in its eye, and he’s felt it punching him in the face, and he’s heard it screaming his name for help.

If it was dark all the time, Steve wouldn’t mind one bit.

And then his patio door was sliding open, and he felt his heart in his throat.

Maybe he wasn’t as tough as he thought.

“Hey.”

Your voice cut through the pounding.

“I hope you don’t mind that I let myself in.”

“No, it’s okay.” He grabbed his pack of cigarettes and shoved it up his sleeve, feeling a need to hide them from you - even though he had one tucked behind his ear that he was sure you could see.

“What are you doing out here?”

You sat with him, crouching down and getting as comfortable as you could on the wooden porch. He watched you fold your arms into yourself.

“Getting some peace and quiet,” he said. “No jacket?”

“Didn’t think you’d be outside,” you said. “Should I go get one?”

He was already getting up before you could finish asking. He brought you a jacket and a blanket, and got himself a Coke. Better than beer, he figured.

You grabbed all three from him. “How’d you know I was thirsty?”

All he did was grin at you. He slid the door shut behind him, and then sat down against it, across from you. You were sitting too close for him to stretch his legs out; he kept them bent, his arms slung over his knees.

Now that you were here, his thoughts weren’t the loudest thing in his head. You had always been like that - too noisy to let the quiet smother him. Most times, he appreciated that.

It wasn’t helping now, though. Your tapping on the ground and the tune you hummed weren’t drowning out a thing.

He couldn’t stop fucking thinking.

You passed him the soda can, and he held it lazily between his bent knees.

He didn’t even want it. He wasn’t thirsty. Really, he only wanted to light the cigarette you hadn’t spotted yet.

“Are you okay?” you asked.

He stared at the chipped paint under his feet. His teeth gnawed at the inside of his cheek, over and over at the same spot until it was bleeding. And, god, it was a familiar taste. One that made him sick.

He tossed his head back and it hit the glass with a thud. He looked at you, once, and then passed you. At the rippling water in the pool.

He stared at it. Stared and stared and stared, until he had to say something.

“Do you remember when Will Byers went missing?”

He wanted to see the reaction on your face, but he couldn’t look away from the water. He could see that night, the party, and what happened afterward.

“Yeah… our junior year, right?”

He gave a barely there nod.

“It was Will, and then it was Barb.”

He looked to his lap, but he was still seeing that fucking night. He saw the blood in Barb’s hand, and he heard the hurt in her voice, and he remembered not caring at all.

“Fuck. It’s all so fucked up.”

He didn’t care when he should’ve, and now it’s useless. It doesn’t matter if he cares or not, but he wants to rip his fucking heart out, anyway. He wants to go back in time and do it all over again, even if it would lead to a disaster. Even if it would change everything or nothing.

And he shouldn’t be so upset about it, because it doesn’t make a difference. Not anymore. He could be as careless as he wants, now, because no one is around to be hurt by it.

“Why are you thinking about that, Steve?”

“Because that’s when all this shit started.”

He spoke without thinking, words falling out of his mouth like a running faucet, because he didn’t have the energy to keep a secret anymore.

It started with Barb, but it didn’t end with her. Or with Billy. Or Hopper, or Chrissy - and, maybe, not with Eddie.

And how many others had been taken in between?

His throat felt tight; he coughed through it. He sat the Coke between his feet, and realized his lighter was there, too.

He brought a palm to his eyes. “You wouldn’t even believe me if I told you. It’s - it’s fucking unbelievable, but it’s all true.”

“Steve.”

“It’s stupid.”

“You can tell me.”

He was getting overwhelmed. His breaths started to stagger on top of each other, making it hard to catch even one. Tears welled in his eyes as he squeezed them shut. It was all too much - he needed to get it out.

Because nothing between you and him would ever be normal if he never stopped hiding this from you. What, was he going to hide his scars from you forever? Or never explain why he didn’t sleep at night? Would all of his weapons be excused away as decorations?

No - he wanted to let you in.

“It’s all so fucking stupid.”

He was laughing, and you must have thought he was fucking crazy.

“Barb - she was here that night.”

“What?”

“This is the last place she was seen. And I just acted like it wasn’t a big deal. I didn’t care, even when I found out she was missing.”

And he felt like an open fucking wound; the still healing rips on his torso leaking blood, too much for his shirt to absorb. His head throbbing, his eye swollen shut. Iron in his mouth, on his fists, pooling around him. Something wrapped around his throat. Bile filling it. He hadn’t healed. His injuries were all still there.

“And I show up to Jonathan Byers’ house, and I knock on his door, and I knew - I fucking knew something was wrong. Like, seriously wrong. And I forced Nancy to let me in, and I didn’t run when they told me to. And I should have just fucking listened.”

He thought about Barb, Billy, Chrissy, Jason, Eddie. All of them, victims to the thing he’s had nightmares about for years, and he can’t stop his first thought: I’m just glad it wasn’t me.

But it’s the thought that comes after that he keeps getting hung up on: Should it have been?

“I don’t know what they said about Will. I don’t know what excuse they made up, or what you think happened - if he was lost in the forest, or - or if he ran away, but none of it is true. He disappeared. He wasn’t here anymore. He was gone - literally, gone. In another dimension. Literally.”

Steve couldn’t know if you were understanding - if you were even capable of believing something so unreal. But you had to. You had to know. He’d been carrying around this secret, and it was the biggest thing in his life.

Because he wanted to. Because he loved you. He wants you to love him - to understand who you’re loving.

“Whatever you think about all the shit that happens in Hawkins… they say it’s a curse, or whatever, but - you don’t know the half of it. You don’t know any of it. It’s not a curse. It’s just a coincidence. If it didn’t happen in Hawkins, it would have happened somewhere else.”

You still hadn’t said anything. You just sat there, staring at your hands in your lap. Steve wasn’t sure if he appreciated the silence or not, but he wasn’t used to it.

“Will went missing. And a girl showed up. Eleven. El. You’ve seen her with Mike, or Max. You know her. You know Hawkins Lab? That’s where she grew up. She’s not just some girl, she’s - she’s someone’s science experiment. She’s got psychic powers. I’m not kidding.”

“What?”

There it was - the tilt in your voice that told him you didn’t believe a damn thing, and he didn’t blame you.

And he laughed.

“I swear.”

“Psychic powers, like…?”

He grabbed the Coke and took a long drink over a smile. He was looking at you like this was something casual.

“I’ve seen her lift a car with her mind,” and he shrugged with it. The can rang on the floor; you picked it up and took a drink.

You said nothing, and Steve felt like he was retelling a movie plot rather than his own life. It wasn’t a good feeling.

“I don’t know what they were doing in the lab, but they - I don’t know. They opened a gate into another dimension. One just like Hawkins, but fucked up beyond belief. The Upside Down. That’s where Will went. It’s where Barb died. It’s where all your nightmares go to turn into spit soaked monsters, probably.”

He pulled down his cigarette and rolled it back and forth between his fingers, digging his thumb’s nail into the filter. It was some old menthol crush, the last of its pack that he’d bummed at a party a few weeks back. He hated the way it stung the back of his throat, hated the taste it left in his mouth even more. The Marlboro Reds burned a hole in his hoodie sleeve where they were still hidden. Those smoked better - they were fresher, smoother.

“Dustin comes up with these insane sounding names for all the shit that comes out of that place. Demogorgans. Demodogs.” He had to chuckle and roll his eyes at himself. “The Mind Flayer. That’s what wrecked Starcourt.”

“The mall?”

Steve nodded.

“You said it was a fire.”

“I lied.”

“Then what was it?”

He put the menthol between his lips. He hated the mint, but he always cracked the capsule, anyway. Someone told him it was bad luck not to.

He stared at you, and he wrapped his teeth around the cigarette filter. His jaw tensed with a bite. It popped, and he grabbed his lighter, and he didn’t look away from you.

And then he got into it. He told you about Dustin hearing Russian being spoken over his radio. And how he learned how smart Robin really is, when she translated the words and then understood the secret message they were relaying. He explained how they’d gotten Erica to sneak into the air vents, and how that led to all four of them sneaking into a storage room that turned into a sinking elevator.

He told you about the Russians, about how they were opening their own gate. He told you about getting kidnapped by them, and all the ways they had made those few hours hell.

He didn’t spare the details, because he was tired of downplaying it all. And in that bunker, he thought he was dead. He shouldn’t have to tiptoe around that.

And he told you about the drug they’d given him and Robin, and how he would be dead if it wasn’t for Dustin and Erica, and how fucking scared he was even after he got out.

And they got out, and then he was driving a car straight into Billy fucking Hargrove, and then all of them were fighting something that looked bigger than the entire sky.

And he doesn’t know how he remembers it all so clearly.

“And then it was over… and I called you.” He still hadn’t lit his smoke - it’d been hanging from his lips the whole time he spoke.

You stared at him like you were trying to find his missing pieces. Glass coated your eyes and worry wormed its way between your brows, and Steve hated it. He wasn’t telling you any of this so you’d feel bad. He didn’t want you crying for him, or at all.

He laughed only just. “And you had no idea what you were picking me up from.”

You breathed in a loose sniffle. “No shit.”

Scratch, rip, hit -

Scratch, rip, hiss.

A flame lit up his face as tobacco started to burn. Nasty numbing mint chilled his throat as he puffed out his chest, and he held in a cough on the exhale.

He held the lighter loose in the air, between his raised knees.

“Do you believe me?”

“I don’t believe you could make any of that up.”

“I’m sorry I never told you.” Mumbled words were barely heard over the scratch, rip, hit as he played with the Bic like a toy. And he didn’t sound all too sorry - he sounded tired.

Wind ripped through the night and carried smoke and ash with it.

“What about spring break?”

He looked up at you. “What?”

“Spring break,” you said again. You looked down from his eyes to his neck, where shadows of a bruised scar remained. “Something else happened, didn’t it?”

Somehow, in the reminiscing of fights past, he’d forgotten about everything most recent. That was the only way he could forget about it - by thinking about all the shit that came before.

He nodded. “Yeah,” he said, redundant answers easier to give than an explanation. Listening to the scratch, rip, hiss, watching a flickering flame, breathing in more smoke.

He let go of fidgeting with the lighter to pull the cigarette from his mouth. He exhaled smoke then hit it again; he held the hit so long that what he breathed out was thin.

And as he ashed his cigarette, he decided he didn’t want to get into it. He didn’t want to replay those events like a story. So, again, he said, “Yeah.”

“What happened?” It wasn’t a push - Steve appreciated the concern you had.

“Same as always. It was a fight. It’s… it’s supposed to be over now. Really over.”

He remembered it like it was yesterday: setting Vecna aflame that caught all of The Upside Down with it. The whole place burned, from its vines to its crumbled buildings to the monsters in the sky. The gates closed themselves like they had never been open.

And it was over, even if it was too late.

“The Upside Down is gone. It should be. Hopefully. But… I was lucky to get out. Some of us didn’t.” He shrugged, like it was casual. He stared at the cherry on the cigarette, burning bright orange.

And he couldn’t keep talking, even though he knew what part came next. He knew what words he had to say. But he couldn’t.

It seemed you caught on enough, because you said them for him. “Max?”

He clenched his jaw so hard it hurt, holding back tears he’d already cried before.

“She’s been in a coma since,” he said. “I didn’t know how to tell you.”

“But you’ve seen her?”

His response came hesitant. “I’ve tried,” and he wanted to leave it at that, so no cries came after, but his mouth kept talking. “Robin goes in. I can’t even make myself get out of the damn car.”

All he felt was shame, but he swallowed it.

“You heard about Chrissy Cunningham?”

“Yeah.”

“It wasn’t Eddie Munson who killed her.” You nodded - Steve figured you understood what he meant enough to spare the details. “Eddie - god, Eddie would’ve died for her. He would’ve died for anybody. He died for this fucking town.”

Another pull from the smoke that was almost gone. Breathe in, breathe out.

“He was a dumbass. A freak - a fucking idiot.” He wished Eddie was listening to him - Steve wanted him to hear all the insults he was throwing his way, because they were all true. It was stupid the way Eddie died. He shouldn’t have.

“And Dustin’s been a mess ever since, and there’s nothing I can do. Robin’s a bigger wreck than she used to be. No one’s handling it.”

“How are you handling it?”

And Steve didn’t know how to answer. He wasn’t sure he had one.

“I’m fine.” He wasn’t lying - he was fine. Somewhere between good and bad, coping through flashbacks and nightmares. He wasn’t lost in it. He was dealing.

“Steve…”

The last drag from his barely there cigarette burned hot, and he savored the pull until his lungs were full. He didn’t empty them until he stood up, and he looked around for the ashtray.

His words were smoke. “Do you want to go in? It’s late.”

He found it on the table, stubbed out the cigarette, and then he stuffed the hidden pack into his pocket.

You repeated his name behind him, and he ignored you. And then your hand was on his back, and you were pulling him in before he could hear you coming.

It was a tight hug he had to fight out of just so he could turn and reciprocate. His arms around your shoulders were just as tight as yours around his waist.

“I’m sorry.” It was a whisper he didn’t even know he was breathing out, until he was repeating it into your hairline. “I had to tell you. I needed you to know. I’m sorry.”

Your response was muddy, spoken into his shoulder. He laughed and pulled back enough to look at you.

“What?”

“Don’t say sorry.” You wore a grumpy look, your words were demanding, and Steve laughed some more. “Why are you laughing? Stop.”

“Because you’re funny.” His thumb smoothed out the worry between your brows and put them back where they belonged. “And really cute.”

You pressed your cheek into his chest. “I’m being serious. I’m just glad you’re okay.”

“Yeah. Me too, believe me.”

A kiss on your forehead had you squeezing him tighter, and he ignored how tender the injuries on his back and stomach were. They were just barely forming scars, but the way you hugged him had him feeling like they weren’t even there. It made him feel special. He felt better.

So he kissed your skin again and willed himself to tamper the thoughts of when he was kissing your lips instead. “Let’s go in, honey.” He pulled you loose from him.

It seemed like you had a realization, then; your eyes went wide and you looked at him like you couldn’t stop. “That’s why you came to see me that night - because…”

You trailed off, maybe not knowing what to say, and Steve wasn’t sure where to pick up. He could tell you the suffocating truth, or a less embarrassing lie.

Something in between, “Because I needed to.”

“I didn’t know it was that serious,” you said. “I mean - I knew there was something really wrong, but… I didn’t know - I didn’t think that could be our first and last kiss - I didn’t know you could’ve died.”

“I wasn’t trying to scare you. You weren’t supposed to think that.” He felt bad, but he didn’t regret the visit. “And, technically - it was our first and second kiss.”

You breathed a laugh as your forehead fell into the crook of his neck. “I hate your technicalities.”

He laughed, too, and the joy helped distract him from the anxiety running through him.

He thought about that kiss every day - about how he made sure to do it twice, all because he wasn’t going to die without getting to kiss you a second time. Once wasn’t enough, so he took the second without any time passing.

But he wouldn’t tell you any of that. He was scared to know how you’d feel about it.

That’s why he hasn’t brought it up until now. Until you said something first.

He pulled away from you again, really meaning to bring you inside this time because he hated having you out so late. But he froze when he saw tears on your lash line, looking like crystals clinging to your eyelashes.

He swore he felt his heart break. “Sweetheart.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t cry - hey, don’t cry for me, alright? I’m right here, honey, hey.”

He crouched down to be eye level with you and he sat on the table behind him. He cradled your face - you tried pulling away, but he wouldn’t let you.

“If you would’ve told me the truth, I never would have let you go.” You spoke so sadly.

“I know. I know, honey, but you don’t have to think about it anymore - it’s okay. There’s nothing to cry about.”

Tears were still falling, and you were still mumbling through them. “I would’ve kissed you more if I knew you might not come back.”

And he needed you to stop crying. He’d do anything - he’d confess all his feelings right there, if that’s what it took.

“I was always coming back. I’m right here, you got me, look at me.”

You shook your head but did what he said; he was wiping your tears with his sleeve, chuckling through the ache in his chest.

“You think I was gonna kiss you then go get myself killed? No shot. What’d you think I was living for, huh?”

“That’s not funny, Steve.” But you were smiling.

“I’m not trying to be.” He was smiling, too. “I mean it. Nothing would keep me from coming back to you, alright? I’m right here - you can keep me forever, I’ll kiss you as much as you want, just stop crying.”

“I can’t help it.” You wiped your nose and squeezed your eyes closed, and it looked like your breathing was steadier. “Do you mean it?”

“Which part?”

“I can keep you forever?”

“Of course.”

And he watched your cheeks swell into a smile you tried to hide. “And you’ll kiss me?”

He had no idea how to be charming or sly underneath your gaze, so he wasn’t. Instead, he was a stuttering, shy, lovesick fool.

“I - I mean, yeah - yeah, if you… want me to, I guess - I mean, I definitely want to, so - it’s up to you?”

He didn’t even care if he sounded like an idiot, because that’s exactly what he was. And you knew it.

“Obviously I want you to, Steve.”

His thumb pressed into your cheek. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Obviously, huh?”

He was obsessed with your smile, addicted to feeling it grow into his palm.

“I’ve only been sending signals for months, but you haven’t caught any of them.”

“Oh, I’ve caught them, alright - was just waiting for the right moment.”

“Like right now?”

And, just like the first time, you kissed him. It was as soft as it could possibly be. Two smiles meeting after too long apart, his hands on your face, yours on his chest.

He pulled away, then brought you back to him, tilting your chin so he could kiss you for real. He moved his lips and yours followed his lead.

Your fingers crawled up and up until they were sneaking behind his neck, getting lost in his hair. He tugged you closer - your body was flush against his.

He felt you everywhere; you stood between his legs, your chest and his were rising and falling with each other.

Behind his closed eyes, he was in another world. He saw you pulling him in close, he felt your hand tightening around his, he heard your voice calling out his name.

He heard himself telling you every secret he’d ever kept. He saw the house he’d build for you, and the bed he’d sleep in with you, and the ring he’d give you. He saw it all.

It was heart racing.

It was wanting to be with you forever.

It was you wanting to be with him, too.

And then you pulled away.

And he opened his eyes.

And you were right there in front of him, smiling just for him to see, and he felt like melting into a puddle.

“You’ll kiss me as much as I want, right? Is that what you said?”

God, he wanted to squeeze you like a stuffed animal - you drove him crazy. Absolutely batshit insane.

He pulled you back in with both hands on your face and kissed you something awful - pressing against you hard, making sure to leave your lips glossy when he pulled back to laugh.

“Just like that, as much as you want.”

“Never again.”

It was funny when you tugged away from him. Both of you were laughing, but he couldn’t take it. You weren’t getting far.

“Don’t leave, it’s what you wanted!”

He chased behind and it was quick when he caught you, right at the patio door. He turned you around and pressed you into the glass, and he kissed you again like he couldn’t help it - because he couldn’t.

The way you kissed was new, and he already loved it, but he ached to know you. To know just how to get you to open up for him, to learn how to kiss you exactly as you liked.

He would figure it out - he wouldn’t stop until he did. And he’d make do for the moment, leading the way through your shyness, not letting anything stop him.

Your lips parted after enough convincing, and with your open mouth against his it was impossible for him to hold back the noise he made. A groan, or a growl, he wasn’t sure - but it had you whining back to him as he tasted your tongue.

It was hot but it was slow, and there was nothing Steve wouldn’t give for it to last forever. Despite that, he broke first.

“As much as you want,” he told you, speaking low, words scratched with something rough. “God, I’d kiss you forever if you let me, baby - however you wanted me to.”

“Forever?”

“As long as you’ll let me,” he grinned. “As long as you’ll keep me.”

“I’ve already had you around for a while…”

“Not like this,” he insisted. “At least let me get good at kissing you before you throw me out on the curb.”

“You’re already good,” you said, kissing his jaw.

He hummed, teasing. “Let me get better, then. Gotta get up to par with you, honey.”

“What can I say? I’ve had a lot of kissing practice, babe.”

He rolled his eyes, acting dramatic. “Oh, I bet you have, babe.”

“Like you haven’t had your practice, too, honey.”

“Okay - let’s stop bringing up the past, alright?” He tugged the glass door open behind you, then pushed you through it. Laughter filled his house as the door shut behind him.

“You started it!”

“I literally didn’t! You brought up your hours of practice!”

“I never said it was hours!”

“I’m filling in the blanks!”

“Oh my god.” You were making quick steps to the stairs - he followed like a lost dog.

“Is this our first fight?”

You were halfway up the staircase when you turned and looked down to him, still stood at the bottom. The lighting around you was dim and your grin was blinding him. “Only if you don’t let me sleep over tonight.” Your hands were on your hips, your eyes were drawing him in. “And this isn’t our first fight. Our first fight was over a Snickers bar.”

“And I don’t think we ever made up, now that I think about it.”

He took the stairs two at a time to get to you, and he gave you his smuggest grin.

“Really? We’re still fighting over it?”

“Til the end of time,” he stated. “But I can look past our differences just for tonight.”

“That gives me time to make it up to you.”

...

Did you know everything about Steve Harrington?

You thought you did. You spent years believing it.

You knew more about him than the average person, sure - but how could you have been so smug? How could you act like such a know it all?

You learn new things about him every day, now. Even when you thought there was nothing left that you didn’t know.

As it turns out, you knew next to nothing about him. And you liked it that way. It made doing life with him that much more exciting.

You sat with him now in the passenger seat of his car. The morning sun cast everything in gold, making the day feel brand new. You watched as he tapped his finger on the steering wheel, making a terrible beat.

He kept shaking his head back and forth, and you only just realized that you had noticed him doing it before. It was a nervous tick. It never stood out to you until now - something new.

“Are you okay?”

He seemed to freeze at the sound of your voice, as if he had forgotten you were even there.

“Yeah, I’m alright.”

You took his hand and brought it up to your lips.

He continued, “I don’t know if I can do this,” and he looked out the window rather than at you.

You squeezed his hand tight. “I know you can, baby. You did it last week.”

“It was fucking hard.”

“It’ll be easier this time. Why won’t you look at me, babe?”

He did; his eyes were down turned and sad.

You kissed his hand again. “You don’t have to force yourself, Steve. If it’s really too hard -”

“I have to. I know I do.”

You gave him a sad smile, then sat up and across the console to kiss his cheek. He leaned into it, and you lingered there. “You’ll be proud of yourself. I’ll be proud of you.”

“I know.”

You turned his face toward yours, and he was nothing but stressed. “Are you sure you’re okay, Steve? It’s okay if you can’t push yourself today.”

He sighed loud, and you knew he was trying to be overdramatic. “I’m okay, honey. I just… get like this.”

You giggled, “I know.”

“I can’t help it.”

“I know, babe,” and you pressed your lips against his quick. “You’re okay. I’ll be out here the whole time waiting, okay?”

“Okay. Thank you.”

You handed him the bouquet of flowers and bag of snacks from your lap. “Lucas is expecting you.” You passed him a stack of old books, ones Steve had picked from your collection that he thought Lucas and Max would enjoy.

He took them, and then he kissed you again, just for the sake of it. “Thank you.”

He opened his door, and as he stepped out of the car, you found three words on the tip of your tongue threatening to fall out of your mouth - and you slapped a hand over your lips when you realized what they were.

When he shut the door and you were out of the danger zone, you breathed a deep sigh of relief.

You were nervous because of him.

That was new, too.

You watched through the windshield as he walked toward the hospital doors, and you said those three words to yourself, and tucked that new discovery into your back pocket.

It was all new horizons with Steve, from there on out.

He was brand new to you, and you absolutely loved him for it.

part one!

thank u for reading. kiss

#if anyone sees this haiii :3 #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington angst #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington one shot #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine #stranger things x you #fluff #angst #my writing

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delululand · 5 months

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what do ya think tubatu’s possible green and red flags in relationship?

i thought about this request for quite a long time because for the most part they themselves are kind of green flag hahaha. like in my perception they are all respectful of women in general (at least it looks like it from the outside) and they are emotionally available, which can be understood from their words that they hardly fights with each other and solve problems through dialogues. in my opinion, these are already one of the biggest green flags in men, so in the post i just wrote some good points (?) that came to my mind when thinking about each of the members

soobin

red flag: maybe this is super subjective, but that's the only thing that came to my mind. there may be some things that you will have to tell him about. sometimes he is really very simple and naive like a child and there are things that he may not think about that could be offensive or wrong. for example, when they discussed something related to jealousy, he several times answered something like “I would do it, but if my partner tells me not to do it, then I won’t” and the like was about going somewhere and so on, and It's absolutely normal to tell your partner what you like and what you don't like, but there are things that you would like someone to take care of without you reminding like some passive in relationship. (oh idk while i was writing this i started to think that red flag is me…)

green flag: wanna have daughter… okay even though we live in the 21st century, there are still men who want a son because it’s an “heir” and other shit, not that wanting have a son is a red flag in a man since it depends on WHY he wants it, but wanting have a daughter is already green flag in my opinion. and he’s good listen? like he said many times that he is not picky about anything and agrees to everything his partner wants, so this is also definitely a green flag (i hope people around him will not abuse this!)

yeonjun

red flag: i already wrote about this somewhere, but i really think that this is unconscious flirting with someone. he doesn't do it on purpose, he doesn't want to hurt his partner, but it happens naturally and can cause a lot of misunderstandings

green flag: lack of preconceptions about appearance and how men are supposed to look. this man literally wears a skirt whenever he wants and doesn't consider it something cringe or "only feminine" like being a woman is something bad, so yeah i’m proud

beomgyu

red flag: resentment. actually beomgyu loves to tease members, but sometimes when someone starts teasing him he gets offended (for example, the last time when yeonjun jokingly asked “oh like that? i didn’t know” and beomgyu really began to explain to him why this was so and only after a few seconds he realized that it was a joke and I sat there with that face🥺) and we also know how jealous he is so i think sometimes he might get offended by pretty minor things

green flag: firstly i'll leave this video. secondly he's very soft with his loved ones, very gentle, very vulnerable. he likes to be alone sometimes but actually is very clingy and is open in expressing his feelings. he is a person who has the most developed all love languages and he could express his love very efficiently

taehyun

red flag: work is a priority. this is a common occurrence in general and especially among idols but in my opinion he is a person who really loves and values his work and at least at this age he can sometimes put it above his partner. however, this doesn’t mean that he will neglect his partner’s feelings about this and perhaps, having matured and found a serious relationship, his family may become more important to him. and probably not the ability to show love with words? but actually it depends on your love language and he is great at showing love through actions (here's a video to prove it)

green flag: hearing his statements or just random phrases, he takes relationships seriously and would not waste his and his partner’s time on an affair for a couple of weeks and this is clearly not the guy who after a couple of days of dating will ask you to send him nudes or something like that. and returning to the point above and the video of how he shows love through actions is absolutely a green flag

huening kai

red flag: closedness, he said that sometimes it is not easy for him to share feelings and most likely he is the kind of person who can distance himself from his partner in depressive moments

green flag: super romantic, sweet and gentle. a person who will treat you as if you could break even from the wrong look and will definitely always listen to you, support you and try to help if he can do it

+ adds about all members

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th4tsj4zzy · 22 days

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hoo boy im boutta get controversial

only 50 notes in and im starting to post stuff abt hsr controversy >:) this’ll be about the sparkle/ratio being racist controversy for the first + second part of hsr’s trailblaze mission for penacony

TW: slavery, slurs, racism, “death” (suicide..? 2.1 hsr quest makes this make sense) spoilers for penacony’s 2.1 quest below the cut

ofc, when sparkle was degrading aventurine for being sigonian, i reacted how a lot of people did and was like “cheese and rice, thats kinda racist dude, wtf-“ i was pretty worried bc hoyo’s had a history with not handling racism in plotlines well (see: eremite world quest in genshin) but i wanted to stay optimistic bc theres a different team working on hsr and maybe theyll be better at handling racism in plot. but honestly? after playing the second part of the penacony quest, i really think that they handled the entire thing pretty well.

probably 50% of penacony’s 2.1 quest was aventurine’s backstory, how being enslaved affected him, his family, and the culture of the avgins/sigonians (specifically the latter). his “all or nothing” nature clearly reflects the fact he’s used to betting everything (despite being paranoid about it since he quite literally lost everything before being taken in by the [pretty] ipc [woman, jade]) bc it makes him seem confident and gives him an image of carelessness, benefiting him in the long run of scheming. the only reason im able to draw this many conclusions about him is because of the amount of character development they give him in the quest.

ofc, im not trying to say that sparkle’s (and “ratio’s”) racist remarks were justified; to put it lightly, they’re leaning into a darker shade of morally grey, even without knowing their purposes for saying such stuff. however, i do think that them being racist to aventurine is a major part of the world building for HSR. him being on the receiving end of their criticism makes us suspicious of everyone else, but also makes us root for him a bit, which helps balance out the scales of distrust and/or dislike the viewer should have of all of the characters. in the beginning of the quest, aventurine’s probably receiving a lot more of the dislike/distrust than the other characters, so we need to at least find a reason to root for him if the writers want us to understand his schemes.

also, sparkle being racist to aventurine for being sigonian and him persisting through all of the hardships his plans and his past bring (despite 85% of it being for the ipc and the other 15% for the mere chance to see his family and find the truth, the latter mattering more than the former) is a narrative that brings tears to my eyes. it resonates with me as a minority race, and im sure many others can understand why.

sure, sparkle used a slur for the real life alternative for sigonia and ratio brings up his past as a slave. we all recognize its not right for her to do that and that the writers are pretty harsh for writing the slur in, but its just the same way in the real world. the writers are just showing us reality in a video game. death and murder and enslavement is really harsh that also reflect the real world, yet they also include it. are we really gonna act like saying a slur is above killing people?

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artiststarme · 1 year

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Oblivious Eddie

This is kind of the opposite of @ladykailitha's current story. It turned out a lot longer than I anticipated lol. Featuring the screaming match that you guys voted on! I hope you guys like it and please share your thoughts in the comments!

~*~*~*~

Steve was at his wit’s end. Things were now back to normal in the summer after the supernatural happenings of the Upside Down in the spring. The older teens had graduated from high school (Eddie included), the younger kids were off at camp or work or rehab respectively, and Steve was working his usual shift at Family Video.

He was alone today since Keith was out of town on vacation and Robin was touring the campus at Indiana State. He was bored out of his mind. The entire day, he’d had a mere four customers with plenty of time to rewind the returned tapes, organize the shelves in a way Robin would hate, and take a variety of magazine quizzes. He now knew that his spirit animal was a golden retriever, Tom Cruise would date him for his personality, and that his zodiac sign would find fortune in the next month.

However, if something interesting didn’t happen in the next ten minutes, he was going to do something drastic like pull his hair out or something. As the minutes ticked on, he started getting worried. Steve prided himself on being a man of his word and he made a decision which meant he had to stick to it. But did it count if it was a thought to himself? Would he have to pull his hair out by the clump to prove a point to his own brain? Maybe he-

His spiral was cut off by the jingle of the door’s bell. Steve let out a sigh of relief, “Welcome to Family Video, is there anythi- Eddie! Hey man, what’s up?”

Eddie had gotten a part-time job at Thatcher Tire and was trying to bring in some money from work of the legal variety. He said it was time to make money like an honest man and develop the good habits of the working class. Steve thinks that Hopper threatened him about the drug dealing and Eddie had no choice but to abide by his rules because he was the one who cleared his name in the media and with the cops. Either way, Eddie should be at work but instead he was walking straight towards Steve with a swish to his hips.

“Heya Big Boy, guess what.”

“What?” Steve asked in curiosity. He didn’t know what would make Eddie so happy but his face was nearly splitting with the force of his beaming grin.

“I got a call from a concert venue in Indy and they want Corroded Coffin to perform! They said that my notoriety from Spring Break could work as publicity and bring in more people. They want us to play this weekend!” Eddie was practically jumping up and down in excitement.

Steve hopped the counter in order to envelop Eddie in a hug, “congratulations man! What did the kids say? Are they excited for you too?”

Eddie pulled back slightly, just enough to place his hand on Steve’s shoulder and look him in the eye whilst pulling a strand of hair from its position stuck in his mouth. “The kids? I don’t know, I came directly here to tell you.”

The comment in Eddie’s earnest tone caused butterflies to flutter in Steve’s stomach. He wanted to tell him first? That’s so sweet. Then he shook his head, it wasn’t sweet. It was just a dude telling his bro some exciting news. That’s all.

“They’re going to be thrilled, Eds! You’re going to do great, I wish I could see it.”

“That’s kinda why I’m here. Would you, Steve Harrington, do me the honor of watching me perform the most metal concert ever in a dingy venue in Indy this weekend? I’ll be honest with you, I’m a little nervous and having you there would make me really happy.” Eddie looked at him with the biggest puppy dog eyes he could muster, trying to persuade Steve to go. And honestly, he didn’t even have to. As soon as he had told Steve about the gig, his mind started thinking over blackmail he could use to get Keith to cover his shift.

But, as he looked into Eddie’s pleading eyes and pouty lips, all he could think about was how much he wanted to kiss him. Which… what the fuck?! Steve wasn’t gay, he liked boobies! He still liked boobies! But now he thinks he liked the picture of Tom Cruise in the magazine from earlier and maybe Matthew Broderick on the movie poster over there and definitely Eddie, fuck. Steve needed to have a mental breakdown, STAT.

“Fine, yes, I would be honored to go with you. Now, get out of here and tell the kids. They’re going to be thrilled,” Steve said as quickly and nonchalantly as he could muster in the face of his fast-approaching sexuality crisis.

“Yay! Thanks Stevie, I swear you’re going to love it. I’ll see you tomorrow for movies and beer at mine, right?” Eddie asked over his shoulder while walking to the door.

Steve felt like he was being strangled as he watched Eddie’s ass walking away, “yep, I’ll be there. See you later, Alligator!”

The second Eddie’s van drove out of the lot, Steve was rushing to lock the door and turn the closed sign. He needed to have a breakdown in peace. He slid down the wall of the disgusting Family Video bathroom and let the pent up sobs explode out of him. He knew he was freaking out over nothing but he couldn’t help it. It felt like in the few minutes it took for Steve to realize he liked guys, his entire world had changed. He was an outsider now, a queer, a freak. Deep down, he knew there was nothing wrong with being gay. Love is love. But why him?

Honestly, this wasn’t the worst thing he’d gone through. Yeah, he couldn’t be open with his love for another dude without being targeted which sucked. But he fought literal monsters with a bat and came out of it relatively unscathed. So this obviously wasn’t the end of the world.

Steve tried to think of what Robin would say in this moment but couldn’t come up with anything. He felt a rush of irrational anger at her because of it. Why did she choose to tour a college campus now? She was already planning on leaving him behind and now she missed his crisis when she was supposed to be there with him? Ridiculous, some platonic soulmate she was.

After another several minutes of freaking out, he started to calm down. This wasn’t an awful thing despite his initial thoughts. He knew Eddie was gay after one two many beers and a miniature freak out on Eddie’s part. And he knew his friends should be okay with it. And Eddie was amazing, they went through the same things, and they’ve bonded over their matching bat scars. Looking back, maybe that’s why Steve hasn’t been able to get a girlfriend in months… because he like-likes Eddie!

A plan started to form in Steve’s mind. He was going to woo Eddie and show him what it would be like to have the full ‘Steve Harrington Dating Experience’. He’d flirt, take him on dates, the whole shebang. And when Eddie inevitably fell for him, they could be boyfriends. With the plan in mind and the crisis averted, Steve left the bathroom, opened the door to the shop, and continued plotting for the rest of his shift.

This would be a piece of cake.

~*~*~*~

This was much harder than Steve had originally anticipated. He did not consider how utterly unobservant Eddie was or how oblivious Eddie would be to his affections. Steve had been flirting with this fucking guy for a month now and he was no closer to making him his boyfriend.

He’d started smooth the night after his breakdown when he and Eddie watched movies and smoked weed in his trailer. Steve had given Eddie a compliment on his outfit, brought beers, and rested his arm on his shoulder during one of the scarier movies. What did Eddie do? Nothing! Steve thought he might’ve seen the barest hint of a blush when he wrapped his arm around him but it was gone before he could check to make sure. So he vowed to spend more quality time with him to be more obvious.

The next time was at Eddie’s concert. Steve drove Eddie’s van with Eddie and the rest of the van the entire way to Indy. During the drive. They kept up conversation about metal music, summer plans, and the kids. At one point of the drive, Steve straight up grabbed Eddie’s hand and intertwined their fingers. Eddie didn’t even break his train of thought and continued speaking, rubbing his thumb along Steve’s knuckles. Steve couldn’t even focus on listening as if Eddie’s thumb rubbing circles didn’t make Steve want to stick his fingers in his mouth. Physical touch was also not affecting his guy.

He tried words of affirmation next and those didn’t work either. His flirts initially started small. He would compliment Eddie’s clothes, his hair, or the things he liked. Then they escalated to comment on his character, his personality, and ‘how adorable he was’. Yesterday, Steve literally told him that his ass looked great in his black jeans but would look better out of them. That statement made Eddie’s jaw drop and he let out a loud guffaw before continuing his conversation like Steve hadn’t just implied that he wanted to see his bare ass. Son of a bitch.

He was trying out acts of service when Eddie called him out. Steve had been doing the dishes at the Munson trailer while he waited for Eddie’s shift to end when he came in. And he came in hot. He slammed the door behind him and waved his hands around in flailing outrage.

“Harrington, what the actual fuck! What are you even doing? You’re so fucking confusing!” He screamed as he saw Steve scrubbing at a stain on a white cutting board.

Steve whipped around to look at him and narrowed his eyes. He was the confusing one? He’d been flirting with this dumbass nearly every day for a month and getting nowhere. “I’m confusing? That’s rich coming from you.”

Eddie blinked in shock before his lips pulled back in a snarl. “First of all, nothing about me is rich. Second of all, yes it’s you that’s confusing! You’ve been fucking flirting with me for weeks and no you’re doing my uncle’s dishes! That’s confusing.”

“Why is it confusing? I’m doing the dishes because you weren’t home yet and I needed something to do. I’m flirting with you because I like you. What’s confusing?” Steve was legitimately confused at this line of questioning and he really didn’t understand why Eddie was yelling.

“You like me? Newsflash- you’re straight. You’re the straightest person that I have ever met. I don’t know why you keep flirting with me or what angle you’re trying to play here but I’m not interested in being your experiment, Harrington.” Eddie yelled at him, his finger pointing at Steve accusingly before moving to hug himself in self-comfort.

Steve saw his discomfort but elected to act defensively and yell back at him. “I’m not straight, I never said I was and you never asked! I like both and it’s really shitty of you to try and tell me who I like when you have no idea what’s going on!”

Eddie opened his mouth to talk but Steve plowed on, “your whole schtick is nonconformity and sticking it to the fucking man but you draw the line at me liking guys and girls? Maybe I don’t like you as much as I thought I did. You’re obviously just as rude and judgmental as everyone else. And you’re welcome for the dishes, fucker.”

Eddie grabbed his arms as he went to move past. “Harrington, Steve, Stevie. I’m sorry, please just listen to me. Steve!”

Steve jerked his head to the side to glare at him. “What?”

“Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you or not be appreciative of you washing our fucking dishes. I just, I didn’t know you liked both and I was losing my mind the past few weeks because I couldn’t figure out if you were flirting with me or if it was just you being a good friend or if you were playing a prank or something. I’m sorry and I do appreciate you,” Eddie was biting his lips nervously and his hand was still wrapped around Steve’s upper arm. He looked earnest and like he genuinely regretted his actions.

Steve sighed, “I’m sorry too, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable-”

“I’m not uncomfortable! I was just really confused and I didn’t know what was happening. But uh, I like you too.”

Steve’s eyes met Eddie’s. “You do?”

“Hell yeah, man. You were my gay awakening in middle school. That’s why I’ve been so frustrated this past month. I didn’t know if I was imagining it or if I actually had a shot,” Eddie chuckled.

Steve stepped closer to him and put his hand on the back of Eddie’s neck. “You definitely have a shot.”

And then, Steve pulled Eddie’s face closer to his own and their lips smashed in a kiss. Eddie groaned as their teeth gnashed in the bruising kiss. When they finally pulled apart, they pressed their foreheads together and breathed in the same air. Steve whispered, “you were my gay awakening too.”

Eddie’s answering cackles were so loud, Max came over to tell them to shut the hell up. She got a free front-row seat to their liplock and let out a scream so high-pitched that the window glass quivered before running back to her trailer. On the bright side, they wouldn’t have to come out to the kids.

@doubleb11 @nburkhardt @zerokrox-blog @newtstabber @i-less-than-three-you @carlyv @straight4joekeery @trippypancakes @pyrohonk

#Steve saw a magazine with love languages and really went for it #Robin comes back from touring colleges and visiting family to Steve with a boyfriend #Max absolutely squeals to the kids and everyone is surprised besides Will because of course all of Hopper's kids are gay #stranger things #steddie #fanfic #steve harrington #eddie munson #max mayfield

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derpyfangirl · 1 year

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Some thoughts and headcanons born from @k-chips amazing art of AI!Clavell and a more cohesive gathering of my little idea dump there. This gonna be a long one, so strap in.

To start, the meat of my idea from that post (bold is me just adding context now)

It was their (Sada/Turo) invention- the time machine- that got the original Clavell killed. Like they brought our Raidon forward, but during their time back on the surface they realize how much of Arven's life they're missing out on, and Clavell is like "You spend time with the kid, I'll keep researching, when Arven is around 16-17 we can swap spots" but shit went sideways when, while down there with Raidon, the second, feral Raidon is summoned and the game follows the tragedy we all discover.

So, in this timeline, Sada/Turo aren't as obsessed with their research. When they bring Koraidon/Miraidon (just for the sake of convenience, we will be using Pokemon Scarlet as a base as that's the version I play going forward, but remember this also applies to Violet) to the surface, Arven is around maybe 8 or 9 and Koraidon is around the same age based on journal entries mentioning how she "expected one gift of life, and now she has two" after mentioning bringing Kor foward in time, is when Sada realizes she's missing out on so much of her son's life, and that creating Paradise is worthless if it means destroying what remains of her little family.

Enter Clavell: he's still somewhat involved with her research in Area Zero and suggests she stay and raise Arven and he'll work on her research with the AI she began developing, and when Arven is old enough they can swap spots and she can return to Area Zero. She agrees, and after the event causing Kor to be sent back to the Crater, Sada and Clavell keep in constant contact with her and Arven occasionally making trips down to visit.

4 years before the game, the 2nd Koraidon (I'll refer to it either as feral Kor or Rex (in reference to its dex entry calling him the Winged King)) is brought to our time. Rex attacks Kor, and Clavell follows the battle to Research Station 4, the AI giving him updates on the battle. He arrives just in time to see Kor backed into a corner with Rex ready to give the killing blow. Clavell shields Kor, having practically raised it, and is killed by the feral Koraidon.

The AI panics, Kor is injured and flees, and suddenly Clavell stops calling and refuses any suggestions to come visit from Sada. He only communicates via email for a year, and when he finally video calls its to say that if he needs anything from her or if there are any developments in the project, he will reach out to her and to stop disturbing him.

Sada of course is upset by this. Angry that he basically told her to fuck off on what is technically both her and Clavell's research (bc she's probably been working on her research while still raising and spending time with her son), and worried as her friend and mentor has never been like this.

Not sure how Clavell would become Academy Director in this timeline unless Team Star's actions at the school take place a bit before Clavell dies, and just before he's killed Clavell had accepted becoming director, but requested time to finish his work and that Sada be his temp replacement (or something, still working the kinks out on this one)

Anyways, a year before the game Arven- who misses Clavell and is both mad at him for upsetting his mom and worried for his safety- enters the Crater and during this, Mabosstiff is attacked by something (in Scarlet, I personally think it was either a Slitherwing or a Roaring Moon, but the later means that they were lucky to even escape alive, as Roaring Moon doesn't seem to be one to leave its prey alive.).

Game occurs, Sada being acting Director while juggling investigating Team Star, her research, raising her son and trying to help Mabosstiff, and looking into what could have happened to Clavell, who suddenly hasn't been responding to anything despite how he should have returned to take over as Director. She's surprised to see Kor, but AIClavell calls and says that Kor must have missed Sada and Arven and gives ownership of Kor to the player. Sada figures it would be good for the lizard to get experience via your Treasure Hunt and requests you take care of it as it's like her second child.

Game proceeds as normal till Area Zero. Sada joins the gang in the Great Crater partially because she knows how dangerous it can be and she can't just allow 4 teens to stroll in there unsupervised (why Clavell would even request a child enter the Crater is something that bothers her), and partially to see what's going on down there. She's basically bouncing up and down seeing her paradise having been created, but recognizes that should the Paradox mons escape, it would destroy Paldea's ecosystems. When you go to talk with AIClavell at the lab, she stays outside at first with Arven to hold off the Paradox mons trying to get in.

When she finally sees AI Clavell and discovers the OG Clavell is dead, she is in a state of shock. It was her invention, her dream that resulted in her best friend and mentor's death, and that this entire time she hadn't even been communicating with him, but the AI she created to help Clavell.

AI Clavell needs someone to stop the machine as he knows his human self would want the same, but the Paradise Protection Protocol kicks in, much to Sada- who had it as a failsafe should the time machine detect that a Pokémon was attacking it, not if someone was simply powering it down- and AI Clavell- who didn't even know it existed- horror.

I might add more to this, but yeah. TLDR, Clavell stays in Area Zero so Sada can raise Arven, Clavell is killed protecting Kor, Sada is Director instead, AI Clavell battles you.

#pokemon sv #pokemon clavell #director clavell #pokemon scarlet/violet #pokemon sada #pokemon scarlet #professor sada #professor turo #arven pokemon #ai!clavell au #my headcanons #long post #k-chips' art is amazing go check it out #this au has major angst potential #and i LIVE for that shit #also somewhat gives Arven a happier ending as his parents aren't shitty #give my boy some happiness dammit #sada and turo are fun to explore #this is from Scarlet's perspective but can also apply to turo

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squipdop · 1 month

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HIIIII CAN I ASK ABOUT THE SIX YEARS LATER AU???

Howd they bring up the junior scouts idea to max??? Was he like Whatever sure or super tsundere or surprisingly emotional that they wanted him back after he aged out?? Did anyone else come back or do special day-long visits like how schools bring in visitors? What does max think of the new kids? They all look so cool i love Max's hair!!!!

HI HI HELLO YES OFC!!! :33

Okay so. I call it the '6 years later' AU but technically i have Stuff Planned for all the time that passed between now and then too, so this'll be a bit longer, sorry!!

Max joining the counselor team was actually kind of a natural/gradual development?? Basically, since I can't make CC content that isn't found family Max has a shit home life, and, even if he hates to admit it at first, the three months of summer camp become his bright spot each year. David and Gwen catch on to that, but there isn't much they can do to help outside of camp - until one day Max (age 13/14ish) shows up on Gwen's doorstep because he ran away from home, 'since his parents won't care either way'. While he does return home after hiding out at Gwen's place for a weekend, this kind of kicks off a pattern of Max running away sporadically, to Gwen's, later David's, or his friends places. I could go into more detail here but. this is already long. oop.

ANYWAYS. So with Max spending basically all the time he can away from home and the summers at camp, once he ages out there's. A Bit of panic starting in him once summer gets closer again, because his Safe Place seems inaccessible, and two of his OTHER options, especially for longer stays away from home, would also be unavailable. Gwen and David notice this (it manifests in Max staying over More but Angrier) and try to find a solution. Gwen proposes the Jr Counselor idea. They introduce the idea to Max by kinda implying that workload around camp is a lot, and it'd really hurt to miss one of their most experienced campers, but... maybe, if he worked there too (well, interned. basically unpaid. but! no camp tuition!) he could help them? so they basically give Max a way to say yes without admitting that he's the one who needs camp the most. He does insult the whole thing ofc, and says like he's just doing it because he knows camp would burn down without him there ("actually, most of the fires we had were started by you...?" "shut it, david") but secretly he's really really happy. He might even thank them later that evening. Quietly. Before complaining about it preemptively. <3

WAH THATS ALREADY SUCH A WALL OF TEXT ok ill hurry up w the rest:

While most of the other campers had some rotations over the years, I don't have conk rete plans for most of them - Nikki and Neil are still Max' gang, and returned for multiple summers, if not all. This year though, Neil is busy with college prep, and Nikki is spending the summer at home because of family crisis. They still video call a lot, they're still The Gang. I have sketched designs for them, but I'm not quite happy yet.

Max at first doesn't take his role seriously, because he's basically just Back For Another Summer, but pretty quickly realises Gwen and David DO have expectations, and DO give him responsibilities. He takes a while to come around on his new relationship to the younger kids, and especially one of the youngest kids takes a liking to him, a very anxious young girl, which annoys him at first, but... well. It's a whole ~character arc~ for Max waiting to happen tbh.

OK THANK YOU IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR IM SORRY ITS SO LONG. i wasnt lying when i said i have So Many Thoughts about this. ANYWAYS as thank u for getting this far heres a doodle of Max putting up his hair. :3c

#Camp Camp #Camp Camp Max #Camp Counselor Max AU #<- the AU tag #Nudel draws stuff #bitt-better

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kpop · 1 year

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K-Pop Spotlight: WEi

As they transition from an unfamiliar first love to experiencing new passions, WEi is taking their fans, affectionately dubbed RUi, along for the journey. This week, we’re highlighting WEi to celebrate their latest mini-album [Love Pt.2 : Passion]. We caught up with the six-member boy group to chat about love songs, their first two years making music together, and their ideal locations to visit on holiday. Check out our full interview below!

Tell us about your new mini-album [Love Pt.2: Passion] and what you hope fans take away from it.

YONGHA: We’ve been continuing our album journey with the Love series, and I believe it reflects the passion that we have, just like the album is named after. We hope fans can watch how WEi’s love develops throughout the series.

DONGHAN: We highly recommend that fans would pay attention to our sexy vibes through this album!

Which non-WEi songs would make up the soundtrack of your lives?

SEOKHWA: I believe I have that popping magnetism that would make everybody around me happy. That’s why I feel like “POP” by Nayeon would be the right soundtrack for me.

JUNSEO: For me, it’s anything “4” by LANY. The song tells how the singer could do anything for their loved ones, and I relate to that a lot when I think of my fans.

Your fifth mini-album explores different definitions and ways of experiencing love–what are some of the first love songs you remember loving?

SEOKHWA: I remember singing Pixie Lott’s “Mama Do” back then. I fell in love with the song after watching Lee Hi singing it on K-Pop Star.

DONGHAN: I fell in love with K-pop after being obsessed with “U” by Super Junior.

What’s your favorite genre that WEi has experimented with so far? Are there any genres you want to try in the future?

SEOKHWA: We did try a lot of different genres. Whether it was sexy, or hip-hop, I think we targeted genres that were more popular with the audience. I personally love “BYE BYE BYE” the most. Rather than being an experimental artist, I wish to be an artist that can color any type of genre into WEi’s style.

DONGHAN: I loved working with all WEi songs! If there were a genre I would like to try, that would be…something that can show the sexier side of WEi.

If you could go on a special holiday anywhere in the world, where would you go and who would you bring with you?

YONGHA: I’ve always wanted to go to Iceland. I would love to watch the northern lights and go camping with our members.

YOHAN: My holiday would be staying at home…with my family that I love the most.

Is there a moment that you’d consider the highlight of your career up to now?

SEOKHWA: There were a lot of moments…but two stand out the most. During our showcase for our 3rd mini-album, my parents came to see me, and I cried a lot. Even our staff and members were crying too. The second moment was during our first concert in Korea. It was unforgettable because the members and I shared the same feelings during that concert, starting from the entrance.

DAEHYEON: I remember the last night of our first concert when we were commenting on stage. We all cried for a long time. It was because of thinking back on all we have done to come this far, and the time it took to see our fans in real life finally.

This year marks your second anniversary together—which member would you each say you’re closest with, and has that changed since your debut?

YONGHA: I’ve never thought about this thoroughly because all of us have gotten along with each other since day one. We are always happy together. :)

DONGHAN: I have specific moments where I need peace, so I like to be with members who are quiet and chill (maybe not SEOKHWA, though, haha). All jokes aside, WEi, as a group, we have gotten along really well since our debut.

Want more of WEi? Check out their music video for “Spray” here.

#wei #kpop spotlight #wei kpop spotlight

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latenightsimping · 2 years

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Rosie - Chapter 2

Summary: Rosie’s getting bigger, and she’s decided it’s time to learn how to put one knee in front of the other, and begin to crawl.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x reader, dad!eddie

Word count: 2,930

Warnings: tooth rotting fluff, established relationship, children, worries about child development, talks of second child, sexual indications but nothing is explicit, lots of cuteness, not beta read, Eddie is destined to be a girl dad istg

AN: Had this one just looming open on my docs for a while, since idk I was worried about posting for some reason? Maybe the imposter syndrome hit me. But I moved bits around, added and took away certain stuff, and I think (?) I’m happy with it? Anyway, hope you like it! This is a continuation of my Rosie fic; you can find the first one here!

Now that Rosie was sleeping through the night, things fell into a comfortable routine. A promotion at the music shop meant that Eddie was able to earn enough for you to take less work at the diner, now only a couple of shifts in the evenings while he worked Monday through Friday. Coming home in time for you all to to be together as a family, the weekends free for days out or lazy days on the couch.

Your daughter was growing up so fast, now nine months old and already showing the signs that she’d begin to crawl any day. You’d spent God knows how long a couple of feet away from her as she lay on her tummy, cooing and holding out your hands as you encouraged her to start moving. But just like her Dad, she could be stubborn, deciding to do things in her own time. You were kneeled in front of her when you heard Eddie come home, her beloved dragon stuffed toy in your hands as you tried to inspire her to move of her own free will. Smiling when her head turned towards the archway that led to the hallway, listening to Eddie shuffle around as he took his shoes off.

“I’m home!” he called out, turning the corner and grinning when he saw the both of you. Placing the white plastic bag he held on the couch, he gasped in delight as he took a few steps to scoop up his little one and nestle her in his arms. “Hey there, princess,” he cooed, peppering her little cheeks with kisses in the way that never failed to make her squeal in delight. “Ya missed me?”

Her tiny fingers found their way into his long hair, gently tugging as she squirmed to look up at him. It always made your heart warm to see the two people you loved most interact with each other, the adoration Eddie had for her clearly visible in his eyes as he looked down at her.

His attention was turned to you as you got up off the floor, taking the few steps to press a kiss to your lips. “Hiya sweetheart,” he murmured, shifting Rosie in his arms so a hand was free to come up and tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Hey you,” you grinned, wrapping your arms around his middle as he looped one of his own over your shoulders. “How was work today?”

“Same as usual,” he answered, letting you go after giving you a little squeeze and one final kiss to your temple before motioning to the bag. “Managed to drop by family video on the way home.”

You smiled as you picked it up, pulling out the couple of VHS boxes to get a good look at his choices. Some were for you and him to enjoy, but you couldn’t help the relieved sigh fall from your lips as you noticed the bright pink box with the cute characters from Moon Dreamers on the front. Though the cartoons were only background noise to her while she played, you noticed that she seemed to enjoy some more than others. “They finally got it.”

“Yup. Steve managed to snag it as soon as it came back,” he smirked, looking down at Rosie as he gently bounced her. “Because we both know that if Mommy had to watch one more episode of Muppet Babies her head would explode,” he crooned in his softly spoken baby talk, each word laced with tenderness. Though she didn’t understand a word of what he said, she still smiled like it was the best thing she’d ever heard.

You chuckled as you put the tapes away on the shelf by the TV, before heading into the kitchen to get a start on dinner. “I think if I have to hear that theme song any time soon, I’m actually gonna lose it.”

“Don’t worry sweetheart. I’ll make sure Steve knows that there’s a household ban on all Muppet related videos for the next couple of months,” he chuckled, lounging back on the sofa with his head resting on the arm and pulling his legs up to rest his baby girl on his thighs. As you chopped up vegetables, you kept looking over to watch them through the archway that connected the rooms, fondness blooming in your chest as he softly spoke to her about his day. Answering her nonsensical babbles with “I know, right?” and “that’s what I said!” as he grinned. Deciding after a while that pretending to eat her toes was a far more interesting endeavour, making her squeal with delight as her adorable laughter filled the living room.

With everything in the oven or simmering on the stove, you headed back to sit down and relax for a little bit. Eddie shifted so he sat beside you, Rosie happy to sit in his lap as his arm came to rest over your shoulders. The few minutes were filled but nothing but blissful silence, save for the game show that you were both only sort of paying attention to. You were just happy to have Eddie’s fingers draw absentminded patterns on the skin of your lower back, your head on his shoulder and letting your eyes close as your eyes fluttered shut and you let out a long sigh through your nose. Having a child and a home was one of your lifelong dreams. Didn’t mean that it wasn’t tiring at times.

“Almost forgot to ask how your day was,” he finally whispered as he looked down at you, figuring you would appreciate some time to shut your eyes but also knowing full well that you wouldn’t be too happy if dinner got burnt.

“Was good,” you murmured as you curled further into his side, forcing your eyes to open. “Managed to get some laundry done, and spent a little while trying to get her to crawl. She’s nearly there, but it seems she’s content enough with sticking in one spot for now.”

“She’ll get the hang of it,” he said softly, knowing that you sometimes worried about her development. “Sometimes it just takes some kids a little longer than others.”

“I know,” you sighed, a small smile on your face as you reached out to gently smooth out her soft brown curls. “Guess it’s good that she isn’t moving about for a little while longer. God knows how much mischief she’s gonna get into when she finally gets going.”

Eddie let out a scandalised gasp as he looked down at Rosie, wiggling his fingers that she hand her tiny hands wrapped around. “My little girl? Trouble? Never.” She looked up at him to find the source of the noise, large brown eyes that identical to his crinkling as she smiled.

“Hmm, you just better pray she won’t take after you when she’s a teenager,” you teased as you got up to check on the food.

He laughed, shaking his head as he followed behind and settled Rosie down in her high chair. “No idea what you’re talking about. I was the poster boy for innocence and virtue.”

“Tell that to my Mom’s back porch that you singed when you dropped your joint on it,” you smirked, remembering the night when you’d both got quite drunk and were too busy making out to notice the small burn that permanently blackened the dried out floorboard.

“If I remember correctly, we were sharing it,” he countered, opening the fridge to grab a can of soda. Placing it on the counter as he came behind you, he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you close to his chest as his lips pressed into the crook of your neck. “Can still remember the hickeys you gave me that night, too.”

“Ah, to be young again,” you sighed wistfully, your eyes flickering over to check that Rosie was still okay. She seemed pretty content to babble to herself for now, though you knew any time now she was going to start wanting to be fed. “Feels like a lifetime ago now we’ve got a little one of our own.”

“Yeah,” he sighed, the sound full of blissful feeling as he rested his chin against your shoulder. “Wouldn’t trade it for the world, though.”

“Neither would I,” you whispered, turning your head to kiss his cheek. “Would always make the choice to nearly land on my ass when I slipped on those wet leaves.”

He let out a small hum, nuzzling his nose into your shoulder. “And I’d make the choice to catch you.” His tone grew quiet as he lifted his head, lips by the shell of your ear as he pulled you closer. “And for the record, I totally wouldn’t object if you still wanted to give me hickeys.”

“Behave yourself Munson,” you laughed, playfully swatting his hands as he chuckled and pulled away to start preparing Rosie’s food.

Now you were getting the hang of life with a small child, dinner times went a lot smoother. Soda forgotten about on the side, you’d grab a glass and pour it for Eddie while he sat down to feed your daughter. You’d serve up dinner, and he’d grown used to taking mouthfuls whenever she was preoccupied or still finishing the last spoonful. At first, you had offered to do it, but he simply shook his head and smiled as he insisted it was fine. You guessed it was his way of getting more bonding time with her, and you weren’t going to get in their way any time soon. Eventually Rosie would make grabby hands for the spoon, Eddie handing it to her so he could finish up eating. Sure, sometimes errant bits of food would end up flying everywhere when she found it amusing to pick up the bowl and smack it against her tray. But you could always clean up later, and it kept her happy.

Eddie was the one to take her upstairs to get the bedtime routine started, while you cleaned up the kitchen. If you strained your ears as you put away the dishes, you could hear Eddie’s voice coming from her bedroom as he read her another chapter of ‘The Colour of Magic’. It wasn’t like she could even understand it, but Eddie had insisted on “starting her off young.” She just seemed thoroughly entertained with his dramatics whenever he voiced the characters and acted out the scenes with vigour. By the time all the counters were wiped down and you could finally collapse onto the couch, Eddie came back down to join you with an exaggerated groan as he flopped beside you.

“Out like a light,” he sighed, a hand pulled over his face as he stifled a yawn.

“Sound’s like someone’s ready to join her,” you noted with a raised eyebrow, cuddling into his side as his arms automatically pulled you in close. “Wanna go to bed?”

A laugh rumbled through his chest as his eyebrows raised, his expression turning from tired to amused. “Why sweetheart, are you trying to seduce me?”

“As if it would be difficult to do that,” you countered, resting your chin on his shoulder as a soft smile graced your features.

He mocked an outrage gasp, though the upturned corners of his mouth betrayed him. A devilish grin slowly spreading over his countenance as you were pushed onto the couch, onto your back and making a soft yelp tumble from your lips. Feeling his weight come to rest on you and his mouth playfully attack your neck as he slotted himself between your thighs. You broke out into giggles, wriggling underneath him. “Eddie,” you whined with a soft smile, your hands coming to rest on his shoulder blades. “C’mon, you got work in the morning.”

“The night’s still young,” he murmured against your skin. “Don’t you wanna fool around a little?”

“First of all, ‘fool around’? What are we, seventeen?” you grinned, trying to keep your voice even when his ministrations were starting to get you hot and bothered. Eddie had figured out a long time ago exactly what made you tick, and it never failed to make your eyes flutter shut when he laved his tongue on the spot just under your ear. “S-second of all, last time we did this on the couch we ended up with a little surprise nine months later.”

His head lifted to look at you, his lopsided smile coming into view. “Would it really be a bad thing if it happened again?”

Your eyebrows jumped up as you chuckled. “We’ve only just managed to get Rosie to sleep through the night. You really want two screaming babies to deal with?”

He bit his lip as he shrugged. “Alright, maybe not yet. But when she’s a little older? Give her a little brother and sister to play with?”

You’d always known Eddie would love to have more than one. While you weren’t particularly fussed either way – your daughter was plenty to keep you on your toes with – you wouldn’t be against it, if you just so happened to fall pregnant again. It might even be pretty wonderful.

You finally nodded as you leaned up to lock your lips with his own. A soft kiss, full of intimacy. Feeling his weight shift onto one arm as a hand came up to thread through your hair. You pulled away with a soft smile. “Maybe. We’ll see what happens when she’s old enough to talk in full sentences.”

You laughed at his little victory cry, turning into a soft moan as his mouth attacked your name again. Sure, you weren’t ready for another little one yet. But it didn’t mean that that you were immune to Eddie’s charms. Especially when he made you feel the way that you were feeling now.

With you lounging on the couch as you watched them play on the floor together, Eddie sat cross legged on the rug in front of his baby girl as he made her stuffed dragon ‘walk’ across the floor towards her. Gently booping the top of her head with the soft nose and pulling away to repeat the process all over again. You remembered the day that the boys from Hellfire got it for her as a group gift, and how over the moon they were when you reported back that it was her favourite toy. You still had the little handmade card it came with, the words ‘to our future party member’ and a drawn picture of a very adorable cartoon mindflayer on the front with all their names on the inside.

“Babe,” Eddie whispered, causing you to look away from the TV show you were half watching to see what he was looking at. You swore Rosie wasn’t that close to him just a moment ago. “C’mon Rosie Posie, you can do it,” he gently cooed, shuffling a little further back and holding out the dragon just out of her reach.

Her tiny face scrunched up in concentration little tongue poking out of her mouth as she shakily got herself up on her hands and knees to push herself forward just a little. You gasped as you sat up, feeling overjoyed that she was finally doing it. It was uncoordinated, and she only moved a tiny amount at a time. But she was finally crawling.

“Such a clever girl,” you squealed, resisting the temptation to pick her up as she worked herself to finally reach Eddie. When you looked up at him, you could see that he was bursting with adoration and pride as his little girl finally managed to reach out a hand and grasp her teddy. You could see how his eyes shimmered with tears as he picked her up and held her above his head.

“That’s my girl,” he grinned, bringing her to his chest and hugging an arm under her legs with his hand on her lower back to support her. Smothering her little face in kisses as he sniffled. “My beautiful, clever little girl.”

She seemed to be more interested in her toy, little face pouting until Eddie shifted his position to sit with his back leaned up against the couch so he could be close to you. Settling her in his lap and nestling the little dragon close to her. You couldn’t stop smiling as you leaned down to rest your forehead on his, his head tipped back as he gazed up at you.

“She finally did it,” you whispered, giggling as his hand came up to rest against your cheek. Smoothing the pad of his thumb just under your eye.

“Told you she would,” he murmured, leaning up for a kiss that you happily gave. He looked back down at her, blissful in the knowledge he was surrounded by love. The girl that he’d chose to settle down and start a family with behind him, her hands smoothing up and down his shoulders as she pressed kisses to the top of his head. And the little one they both created, staring up at him with eyes the exact same as his own and smiling at him. Like he said before dinner, he wouldn’t change it for the world. If he had to go through all the hell that he’d been subjected to, with the shit with his parents and the bullying and the unrelenting horrors that he almost fell victim to, he would do it all again with a smile on his face if it meant he’d end up in this exact moment.

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