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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 4 days

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the girl next door 2

Warnings: this fic will include elements, some dark, such as age gap, manipulation, chronic illness, noncon/dubcon, coercion, and other untagged triggers. Please take this into account before proceeding. It is up to curate your online consumption safely.

Summary: A new neighbour moves in and upends your already disarrayed life.

Author’s Note: Please feel free to leave some feedback, reblog, and jump into my asks. I’m always happy to discuss with you and riff on idea. As always, you are cherished and adored! Stay safe, be kind, and treat yourself.

This lewk but silverfox

You gnaw on your cheek as you read over the letter. Final warning. You really didn't think much of the first five but that word catches your worry; litigation.

Your mother grunts and clicks her pen, dropping it as she curses under her breath. She tosses the crossword book away from the chair. For all your life, you remember her working on her puzzles. Now, she can hardly hold pen steady enough to put in a single clue.

"Mom, you want another coke before I head out?" You ask.

"Where are you 'headed out' to?" She scowls.

"Just outside. Try to figure out the mower."

"Piece of shit," she sneers and for a moment, you're not sure if she means the machine or you.

"So..."

"Just go," she snips.

You purse your lips around the cut of her tone. You leave her in her recliner and you go down the hallway to the back door. You shove your feet into your stained vans and let yourself gently outside.

You come down the steps and cross the overgrown grass to the garage. You prop the door open with an old paint can and drag put the mower. You haul it over to the little patch of pavement by the house as the sunlight raises beads of sweat across your forehead.

You shade your eyes and squint. You don't get the thing. It's not even motorized, it just started catching. You can't push it hard enough to make it go. It only bounces uselessly across the ground.

You squat and put it on its side. You examine the blades, nervous to dig between the mulching teeth. You grab a stick and poke around. It breaks and you rip it out.

"Dang it," you whisper.

You stand up. It's too hot to think. As much as you miss the sunshine in the grim winters, the heat is less than welcome.

"Hey, excuse me," a voice startles you. You ignore it, thinking maybe it's just the neighbours on the other side of the fence. "Um, miss?"

You turn towards the voice and find a man peeking through the loose slat in the fence. You sigh. Yeah,

that needs to be fixed too.

You stare dumbly. You recognise the man. It takes a few seconds to remember where you saw him. He was with the realtor. You hadn't see much yet, not that you ventured outside often. The sign changed to sold and that was that.

"Hi, uh, so this," he touches the plank, swiveling it on the hanging nail.

You nod and go to the edge of the patch of pavement but no further. You nibble your lip and search for something to say. Talking to mom is easy, you know what to expect, but strangers are different.

"Gonna fix it," you assure him flatly.

"Yeah, well, I was actually thinking, I'm just doing a few touch ups right now and I could spare a couple nails or two."

You tilt your head and bring your hands together, mashing your palms anxiously, "it's rotted."

He wiggles the wood and little slivers fall away. He hums disappointed, "sure is." He smiles as his blue eyes shine in the sunlight, "no problem then. I'm sure I can find something at the hardware store."

You hesitate. You should mention you can afford even half a plank. Grandma left you the house and enough to cover property taxes, but mom's monthly cheques are already stretched thin. If he doesn't ask, you won't offer.

"Steve," he stretches his arm through the opening.

You look at his hand. Your stomach flip flops. You don't want to be rude as much as you don't want to touch this strange man. Well, no use in making another enemy around here.

You lift your feet as you trudge through the high grass. As you near, the sweat slakes down your back. You gently shake his hand, just for a second, and pull back.

"And your name? Neighbour?"

You stare at the collar of his grey tee shirt and eke your name out.

“Is it just you over here?” He asks.

You shake your head. You bend your arm to pick at your sleeve. You don’t mind introductions but you’re not much for conversation. You don’t need him prying into things. If anyone really saw inside those walls, they’d only feel bad for you. You’d rather their apathy.

“Oh, you got kids? A husband?”

You wince. It’s almost a flattering assumption yet a reminder of everything you don’t have. You’re not old enough to really think about all that anyway.

You glance back at the side of the house. You should hose that down and get rid of the mildew. Another tick on the endless list.

“Mom,” you say.

“Ah, makes sense. You in school?”

You shake your head again. He’s quiet. You sway listlessly.

“Anyway...” he says.

You put your head down and back away. You go back to the mower, bending down to fiddle with it again. You could see if anyone would lend you one but that means asking and as much as the neighbourhood paints itself in friendly smiles, they aren’t genuine. The letter on the kitchen table is proof of that.

“Not working?” The man, Steve asks. You cringe and stand up. He’s still there.

You shrug as you look at him. You turn back to the mower and lift it by the handles. You try to ignore the nosy neighbour and line it up with the grass. You push and it doesn’t move easy. You grunt and it rolls over the grass. You think maybe it’s working but as you turn, you notice the grass stands back up, only slightly bent.

“You know, I got a nice electric one. Isn’t here yet but I can bring it tomorrow on the truck,” he offers, “I wouldn’t mind doing a once over, if you need.”

You huff and push the mower over.

“Can’t pay you,” you stomp back towards the house.

“I didn’t say anything about money,” he chimes.

You stop by the steps and cross your arms. You look at him, “too much.”

“Well, if you change your mind, you can just come knock on my door,” he says.

You nod and spin around again. You climb the steps, fighting to keep your steps even. You want to run inside and hide but you don’t want him to see how desperate you are to get away.

The screen door snaps shut behind you. You kick off your shoes and go down the hall. Your mother huffs from her recliner.

“You figure it out?” She asks.

“No,” you flop onto the couch.

“Knew ya wouldn’t,” she snorts as she stares out the window. “Man’s back. Musta bought the place.”

“Uh, yeah,” you lean back, pulling the collar of your shirt over your face to sop up the sweat. “It’s hot.”

“Nah, you’re just whiny,” she snickers.

You don’t respond. You know better than that. You let her have her truth. Whatever she thinks of you, you can’t disprove. The world is she says it is.

🏠

Your bedroom window shines yellow with the noon sun. The heat beams down on the folding table, warming your hands as you scratch charcoal onto thick paper. You still have grass stains on your fingers from another fruitless attempt at fixing the mower. Another day and you expect another letter isn’t far behind.

As you focus on the lines and curves left by the pencil, your anxiety subsides. Drawing is the only thing that helps you forget. Really forget. You don’t think about the house or the lawn or the HOA or your mom. It’s just you and the pencil.

You lean your forehead in your hand as you cross hatch the shadows. The chirping birds and the soft breeze deepen your trance. The world around you is distant and dim. You’re only awoken but the sudden and unfamiliar ‘ding dong’.

You sit up. It takes a moment before you realise what it was. The doorbell? No one ever rings it. No, even Marge from the HOA waits until you come out to get the mail to accost you.

You put the pencil down and get up. You go out and peek down the hallway. You creep along and stop at the doorway to the front room. You mom sniffs and wipes her eyes. She must have fallen asleep in her chair.

“Who is it?” She snarls with grogginess in her throat.

“I don’t know,” you go to the door and pull the curtain away from the long window beside it. You peek out at the figure on the porch and quickly hide behind the fabric. Too late. “It’s... the neighbour. I think he saw me.”

“Ergh, don’t be stupid, girlie,” your mother barks, “help me up.”

“Oh, uh, okay.”

You go to her and offer your hand. You get her to her feet. She slightly hunched and slow but she makes her way to the door. She pauses and turns to the mirror above the little bench against the wall. She tidies her hair and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand.

She leans on the door as she grips the handle. She opens it and the man from next door, Steve, greets her with a grin.

“Hello?” She sweetens her tone.

“Hello, miss, sorry to bother you,” he says, “I just moved in next door and I’m getting settled in. I was just about to do some lawn work and I thought maybe I might offer to do yours? It’s no trouble, I just thought I’d offer.”

“Oh, what a honey you are,” she preens, “of course, that would be lovely of you. My daughter,” she sighs and shakes her head, “I’ve been nagging her for weeks to get it done.”

“Really, it’s not a bother,” he assures her, “I’m Steve by the way.”

His smile is just as charming as his introduction.

“Holly,” your mother returns, “I’ll make you some lemonade for your trouble. It’s a hot one, isn’t it?”

“Sounds good,” he agrees, “I’ll try not to make too much noise.”

You peek out from behind your mother. Steve’s eyes meet yours for an instant before she blocks her out, no doubt eager to hide the state of the house from him. You back up as she turns to you.

“What’re you doing hanging on like a rodent?” She hisses, “go make some lemonade.”

#steve rogers #dark steve rogers #dark!steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #drabble #series #the girl next door #mcu #marvel #captain america #au #silverfox au

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astrosirensblog · 2 years

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Sirenas Astrology Observations

• 8th house synastry only works with two confident and emotionally intelligent people. One of the main reasons why 8th house synastry ends up toxic is jealousy and controlling issues from one side

• people who have aries in their 4th house know how to deeply hurt people fr fr

• some people with major Saturn and Mars influence tend to be real assholes, seriously these people have no chill and they think they served you karma by giving you lifelong trauma

• saturn synastry is really not easy when one side isn’t Interested in development

• you should be highly careful with 2nd house synastry, people who have many aspects to your second house could destroy your self-esteem and the recovery will take a long time

• Chiron synastry can be really beautiful and healing

• being a taurus is exhausting because we can’t let go of our damn grudges

• People calling earth signs (especially Taurus) materialistic is so tiring because everyone sees being materialistic as something bad. We just feel good when we get to treat ourselves with gifts, there is nothing wrong about that

• another point about 1, 2,7,8 and 12th house synastry is that narcissistic people will hurt you to the core. They will see everything that is good about you and turn it completely against you and duo to the energies you guys exchange in this synastry you will feel it really intensely and you will also feel like you are stuck in that situation and they will never leave you alone. So always be careful about the way people make you feel and how much they respect and value you as a person because strong synastry can be heaven or hell (I would also count 4th house synastry because the home is a place you feel save and sometimes don’t even realize that it’s actually not a good environment for you)

• the most goofiest synastry is definitely 3th house and 5th house (depending on the placements of course) but imagine having a friend or partner with who you have 3th house synastrie in mercury and 5th house venus or moon synastry. This kind of synastry is all about fun, free communication, the inner child feeling comfortable in the relationship. It just makes the relationship really easy going and peaceful

• Saturnian and Pluto midheavens are really precocious about how they appear to the world. You will think their appearance online and in real life is really natural and cool but they actually planned on their next moves 5 years ago. They exactly know how to react to certain things and what opportunities this will bring them. They already knew you will be working with them even before you knew about their existence

• Cancers can be really dangerous because they know what to do and say to smooth you, it’s hard to stay mad at them for too long

• Jupiterians really have the biggest audacity and I’m 100% sure they do know, their behaviors and words hurt people but they just don’t care. In fact these people can lack a lot of empathy (for example miley cyrus (a sag sun) used to bully hailey bieber when they were kids and hailey talked about it once openly and miley agreed on everything she said and then just said “well I made you stronger”, this is exactly what I am talking about 😭)

• Mercury ruled people love to give reviews, fr I think most people that go online and search for the restaurant they just eat in and give a detailed reviews are people with virgo and or gemini placements

• there is something about Lillith- Asc / Pluto people and their cry. You look at their eyes and you can see how their pain is transforming into something powerful, it’s like you directly see how they turn their pain into power (I recommend you, do not hurt these people, they will get you in ways you would have never thought anyone could)

• Capricorns flirt by telling you how much money they have lmao

• You will actually heal your Chiron wound by doing exactly what you did that has caused the wound in the first place, Kim Kardashian for example has her Chiron in Taurus 5th house. The 5th house is about creativity, being in the spotlight, acting, dating and all that jazz while taurus is more about sensuality, materialism, beauty etc. So Kim was always a fashion girl and she inspired to become a international It-Girl but after her Sex-tape Scandal she was shamed on all medias and she wasn’t really taken serious besides that she once talked about how they made fun of her in a show and she was really anxious about being in front of cameras afterwards. But she buckled up and still took part in kuwtk and did modeling jobs, was a video fixen and dated openly (often rich guys) who gave her even more opportunity’s. Even now after her divorce with Kanye and he trying to embarrass her on his twitter, she still does her thing which brings her many blessings. So do what scares you the most

#astrology #astro observations #astrology notes #astrology observations #astro community #sirenas astrology observations

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midnightsilver · 1 month

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Tips for Spn Artists posting on Tumblr 😄👍🏻

I see a lot of new artists posting Spn art and it can be a struggle to get your art out there. Or you might be new to Tumblr and not sure how best to put yourself forward.

I post Spn art and do a lot of bangs when my health permits. And I have picked up some tips that I have found helpful for posting art tumblr 😄 so I thought I would share.

Please feel free to take any of these points or leave them as suits you!

✨Personalise your header and icon. Bots will often make posts with popular tags and stolen art, to try and gain followers before throwing out the spam links, but some clues the account is a bot is not having personalised headers and icons, not having a long history of posts (more than a few days), and not talking about their art or fandom. So make sure you don’t look like a bot 😄

✨Interact with accounts you enjoy. Like, comment and reblog your favourite accounts and they will likely return the favour and you will get more followers. The first way your post gets noticed is by your followers. Interacting isn’t always easy if one is an introvert or doesn’t have much time for social media, but do what you can where you can.

✨If don’t have many followers then the next best thing is to use tags more. People follow key tags to find new posts from blogs they are not aware of. I recommend using the ‘Spn fanart’ tag on all your art posts. Also be sure to include: common ship names, the character names, and key words like: cute, funny, angst, angel, wings, etc 👍🏻 😄 this will help people find your posts, so be sure to tag consistently!

✨Make a personal art tag, it could be ‘your name art’ or something as wacky as you like. But tag all your art with it! If someone sees your art post out in the Spn fanart tags and they like it, they can click your art tag to see the rest of your art posts.

✨Don’t include links to outside webpages unless absolutely necessary. If you are posting for a bang, reblog the bang master post for the story which has the links to ao3, but then make your own art post and only link to the tumblr master post. Tumblr often hides posts with links to outside webpages (so that the porn bots sending you to spam websites get minimised, but unfortunately this also minimises links to ao3 or shops 😔). Links to another post inside of tumblr are ok tho! So to keep your art post from being hidden from searches, only link back to the master tumblr post with the story info. If people want to read the story they can follow the ao3 link from there. But it’s better that they actually get to see your art (the ‘advert’ for the story) in the first place so that they know it exists!

Also keep this info in mind if you are linking to your shop or your other socials. Your direct followers will see your shop posts but because of the external links the post might be hidden from searches. Consider doing a mix of posts with direct shop links and ones that get the info out there but link back to a pinned tumblr post or bio post with the outside link.

✨Don’t crowd your art. Many people view tumblr on mobile so your pictures will look small. People can’t really see the details if you put 2 images side by side. Put one image on each line and consider making some cropped images to show close up details of your favourite bits. You need to catch people as they are quickly scrolling past, so be sure that you make it easy for them to see what you are offering.

✨And finally don’t be afraid to do reblogs. It isn’t rude to reblog your own work, it’s helpful. Dashboards can get very busy and even if people follow you, your post might be burried a long way down if they don’t get back online multiple times a day. Reblogs will give them a chance to see what they missed. As long as you are not posting on the hour every hour, most people appreciate 2 or 3 reblogs at different times to save them having to scrolled back for days! 😄 and don’t forget that tumblr is multinational. Time zone reblogs can be helpful.

✨oh I forgot one more thing! Don’t put yourself down! No piece of art is perfect! Ever! But Michelangelo doesn’t start off by apologising that the statue of David is out of proportion. And neither should you! Let your work shine where it shines and don’t bury it in put-downs before you even give others the chance to enjoy its triumphs! You deserve better and so do they!

Those are the main points my friends. If you have any other helpful tips that you want to share, feel free to reblog this and add on points. We were all new to this hellsite (affectionate) at some point. And life is already hard for us struggling artists so whatever we can do to help each other is a good thing 💛

Stay awesome my friends, and happy Arting 🙌🏼😄

#supernatural #spn fanart #artists on tumblr #tips #art #tumblr #helpful #posting tips #bangs and challenges

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letoasai · 2 months

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No one remembers Anime Spiral

What do kids even do on the internet? I'm genuinely asking. Everything revolves around social media and that's fine but what do they do. Are their cool things they can do anymore?

There used to be websites and you would just wander the internet on the family computer. Newgrounds. Gaia Online. Neopets. Yahoo Games. Quizzila. Live Journal... I'm not saying they were all great but they were something to do and... no i'll commit, they were great. I wasn't worried about posting pictures of myself when i was busy watching a flash animation of Dragonball Z that someone put painstaking hours into.

A lot of younger kids and teens don't know how to download something and save it to a particular folder on their computer because they've never used a computer. Meanwhile we were somehow... coding our Myspace pages to have a particular background. When did we acquire that knowledge?

In 2004/2005 i went looking for Inuyasha pictures, as one did, and i stumbled upon a site of people posting fanfiction? Sign me up... Anime Spiral was the wild west of chaos fanfic writers. People would make banners for their work that would sit in their summary sections. God help you, but those seizure inducing flashing colors were going to get your attention.

People would write anything, stories, poems, lyrics. People would post art and open commissions for people to ask for things in the comments, and the OP would just do it... There were frantic collaborations. Some were really good. Some were really bad.

There were chaotic originally stories with random anime characters thrown in for fun because who was going to tell them they couldn't? Some people just ranted to anime characters and i will always remember Ask Sesshomaru where you'd ask Sesshomaru a question in the comments and the next chapter he would answer every.single.question. The fact that it was probably a 16 year old girl writing that just didn't matter.

Some people just posted picture of anime characters. They did all the internet searches so you didn't have to! They were harder to find then.

The comment/response section to this day... was the best format i've seen on a fanfic site (imo). It was so easy. I miss it! I miss going to my word processing class and pulling up that site and chatting with people in the freaking comments of whatever...terrible story i'd posted at the time. I was probably so proud of it then but yikes...

The notification system was good and it was easy to talk to people without it feeling intrusive.

Maybe Anime Spiral was Tumblr before Tumblr.

I met two strangers on Anime Spiral a week apart. Internet dangers weren't as obvious then as they seem now. Those two strangers became two of my best friends. It's been nearly twenty years and they are still so prevalent in my life.

I met my best friend on that site. That seems so impossible to me now. We never would have met otherwise and i can't imagine my life without them. We were so upset when Anime Spiral went down. We missed the ugly green and mustard yellow template to this day.

It wasn't a great site, it had it's problems... It had a lot of problems but at the same time, it was a great site. It's hard to find people who even remember Anime Spiral anymore. Going to FF .net or Fiction Press afterwards felt like... a downgrade somehow. The systems overly complicated and it lacked...something.

I do enjoy the hell out of AO3, it actually checks all the boxes for a great writing site, but i'll always remember the chaotic nostalgia of Anime Spiral.

What do kids do on the internet now? Is it safe? Is it just selfies, gossip, and bullying? Do you have a little dragon you can take care of? Neopets could take up a lot of their attention. I don't think 2024 Neopets is the same as 2005 Neopets and that's a shame.

I have no idea. I feel old.

#Rambling #ignore me #i do miss Anime Spiral though #Anime Spiral

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raining-tulips · 3 months

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hi! i just found your blog :) love your commonplace book scans! if you don’t mind me asking, could you give a more in-depth explanation of what commonplacing is exactly and what your process is? i’m intrigued and considering getting into it but i wouldn’t even know where to start! thanks a lot xx

Absolutely! So my commonplace is specifically all movies, qoutes, articles, tumblr/Instagram posts, book excerpts, etc. that either resonated with me or I think I'll want to reference later. That is the heart of what common placing is - saving things for later physically rather than digitally.

Some of these just pop up in my feed, and I'll hit the like or save button. If it's an article, it usually first pops up as a preview on my Instagram and I'll open the full article on my desktop than bookmark it in a specific folder for common placing.

Sometimes, when I want to actively find something out (say, about if perfume is really bad for the environment, or I want to look at author interviews because I just loved a book) I will go out and search for that information.

Then, usually once a week I compile everything I'd like to print - i print the sources bc my handwriting is messy - into a word document formatted for two columns. I try and hold off printing until i have a full page worth, or two full page worth.

For images, I have another word document (these are printed in color, and i usually have to jigsaw to fit as many images on the page as possible, so different word document). Same thing, I try and wait until I have a full page to print. Usually x2 a month. I sometimes will print with an HP sprocket but the quality is really bad and the pictures are thick so, it's for when I'm out of printer ink or I think a photo will look okay with a sorta...uneven look.

I use just a Staples brand journal, TruRed. Cheap and easy. I draw a line at the top so I can write the date, and in the future if I want to tag it with a colored sticker or something, I can. My layouts usually include divided space on either the left or right of a page. The article goes in the bigger open space, and then the source (always write your source!!) and any commentary goes in the smaller margins.

Commentary is usually why I wanted to print it, what it reminds me of or makes me think about, etc. What I think the argument was missing, etc. Can be as little or as much as you like. As emotional and deep or as plain-jane as you like. There are no rules!

I trim printed text and images with a 12 inch trimmer bc I've got wobbly hands, but some people just use a little (blanking on the name) exacto knife? Any 12 inch trimmer will do mine is expensive but I also scrapbook so I use it all the time.

I paste things in using a tape runner (again, because I scrapbook and found a tape runner and my mom sells scrapbook supplies they're very accessible to me). Some people use tape, washi tape, glue sticks (liquid glue I've never seen).

And yeah, then I just decorate and play around. It doesn't have to be pretty. It can be really pretty if you want - I'm motivated by aesthetics, so, I like mine to be a little pretty.

If you'd like to see how I actually put it together and why I print certain things, my YouTube channel is the place to go.

Some people tape in movie tickets, receipts from where they shopped or ate, pictures from daily life. Some people mix common-placing and journaling, so including diary entries about their day or about a topic they love, or their thoughts and feelings (I keep mine in a separate journal, explained in this video). Some people mix common-placing with bullet journal or planning. Some combine all three!

At the end I just use a printer scanner (HP Envy 5500, cheap) and post them online that way bc I love the look.

People who have other styles you might try and look at are @petite-gloom (an OG who inspired me and many others) @fakelavender , @teddybearsticker .

#answered #commonplace #commonplace book #commonplace journal #journaling #journaling community #stubyblr

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finniestoncrane · 1 year

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Like An Animal

Dano!Riddler x Female!Reader, word count: 4.5k an arrangement for anonymous fetish sex goes completely wrong when the sweet, shy guy you vibed with online is nasty little edward nashton 🐀💚 kinks are so multi-faceted. it's fine if this is interesting/arousing/scary/healing for you! you're normal, and you're completely valid 💚 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: non-con, dubcon, cnc elements, violence, threats, intense fear, this is nasty shit sodon't read if it makes you uncomfortable duh

It was an interesting arrangement. Beneficial to them both, as they explored the darker sides of their desires in completely privacy. She was amazed that he was the type. When he had answered her request for a partner in specific activities on the forum, she was already prepared to have to block several fake replies, some un-practiced boys trying to be daddies, men just desperate to have sex who would have overlooked her specifications around kinks and rules. But this one was different, formal, slightly reserved, but knowledgeable in the ‘lingo’ enough to let her know he might have enough experience. His questions were respectful, unemotional. Straight to business kind of, which was ok. It was actually her preference.

As someone with very little social skills outside of sex, it was difficult to approach someone in the first place, let alone get to a situation where she could ask them for exactly what she wanted. But, on the forums, it was transactional, formal. Everything could be pre-arranged with very little need for speaking when it came to the act. There had been several acts with the two of them now, and it was safe to assume that he was keen on the task-based nature of what they did together.

After the first few “dates” (basic vanilla sex to understand each other’s bodies and potential limits) they had an open discussion together, before deciding to explore the more intense kinks that they shared in common. He lamented that wasn’t experienced physically, which had been obvious at first, but that he knew what he liked and had done extensive research on the topics.

“I like to learn…to research.”

It was odd, she felt so attracted to him, despite his frankly plain appearance. He was average height, average build, average haircut, but his face was soft and round and filled with a naivety that drove her wild. So, they discussed moving things forward. Tonight was the big night, and it was her choice of activity.

He had arrived exactly on time, another habit she picked up on. He was organised and punctual, which only served the structured and emotionless nature of their ‘affair’. She liked that about him. Efficient, conscientious, respectful of her time and any boundaries. It was easy to feel safe with him, part of the reason she was so willing to allow him control this evening. And he was obviously prepared, dropping down his rucksack with a heavy thud, as his ‘tools’ settled on the floor at the bottom of the bag. She invited him into her dimly not romantically lit apartment where they met each time. Usually, he was dressed as though he had been working a 9-5 at an office. Suit trousers, a plain and ill-fitting shirt, boring tie, standard dress shoes, a navy blue puffer jacket shielding his thin body against the Gotham weather.

But tonight he looked almost militant. Prepared for action. He had on a green jacket, black combat pants and large combat boots. She took it in, interested more than anything else. Perhaps it was easier for him to get into character for what they had planned. She searched for the answer in his green eyes, obscured from her questioning by the lenses of his glasses. He coughed when she didn’t say anything, clearing his voice and stammering over his first word before relaxing into himself.

“I’m really glad that you wanted to try this. I’m…excited.”

“I’m glad too, it’s maybe a difficult thing for some people to enjoy, or to accept that they enjoy. But it’s the same as any other kink. Consenting adults working out their fucked up trauma some way or another, huh?”

He didn’t respond, he just gestured to the bathroom.

“Oh, go ahead! I can go get ready in the bedroom. I’ll see you in there, just come in when you’re done.”

She left him standing in the hall, and he watched her disappear into the room, closing the door behind her. She was wearing a t-shirt and some jeans. She hadn’t prepared at all. Not like him. He picked his bag up and went into the small bathroom. He settled the bag on her narrow sink counter, taking out the items from within it. Leather gloves, a roll of duct tape, a carpet tucker just for the threat, and the mask. His mask. He lent on the sink, knuckles white as he gripped the underside of it with his fingers, trying to stabilise himself.

While I’m here…

He rifled through the cabinets, quietly, searching for secrets about her. He had used the bathroom before, but always quickly. This time he had a reason to be in here longer. And, taking his time to be as silent as possible, he eventually found a stash of medicines, one of which he pocketed. A bottle of sleeping pills. Just in case he thought to himself. He donned the mask, fixing his hair underneath and placing his glasses back on top. Three deep breathes in and out as he looked at himself in the mirror. He could feel himself hardening just at his own image. He was a God in his regalia.

This is the practice run. How strong are you? What do you need to do? How best can you get them under control? And then, the reward for your efforts.

He gripped the door handle with his leather clad hand and took one further deep, slow breath before exiting as quietly as possible, standing outside the bedroom door and letting the anticipation linger, painfully, on his mind, body and soul.

She had been waiting, sitting on the bed, for him to finish in the bathroom. No flush, no sound of running water from the old, rusty pipes in her apartment building. She wondered what he was doing, but considered his position. What she had asked him for was intense, and though he was clearly interested and had been reading up on it, it must have been nerve-wracking for someone so inexperienced to build themselves up to this. To a rape fantasy. Not everyone could get on board with the idea of humiliation and violation, and she supposed it might be harder for the person dealing the punishment even. It was a moral and ethical line for some people, and she knew from experience that even if someone was interested in it, feeling able to participate was a whole other thing entirely.

She flipped over onto her stomach, reaching for her phone and making sure she hadn’t missed any texts from him. Maybe he just left? She hadn’t heard the door though, but he might have been trying to sneak out. Disappointment settled in her chest, she had been building up to this for months, desperate for it from the moment she met him. He was so meek looking, the idea of him even pretending to be able to exert any power over her, she was intensely hungry for that level of humiliation. Being degraded by someone she could easily beat up. Pathetic, she mewled softly as she felt a burning in her crotch, her chest tightening at the thought.

And then a sensation on her skin, around her ankles. Tight and forceful. She was turning herself round, aided by the grip, and as her eyes adjusted from the brightness of her phone screen to the darkness of her bedroom, a shape began to take form at the bottom of the bed. He was standing, hands pressed around her ankles, squeezing tight and easing up slightly. Not enough for her to be able to slip loose, she noted.

He's really getting into this.

“Hey are-”

He tugged her body and she fell off of her elbows, flat on the bed, air escaping from her in shock, anticipation. When she lifted her head to look at him, he placed one finger in front of the mouth of the mask, signalling her to be quiet. Her stomach clenched, thighs squeezing together as she realised how well he was at actually taking a controlling position. He loomed over here, the sensory combination of his endless stare combined with the scent of leather and plastic, his quick change from boring middle-manager to the perfect villain was sending her mind racing. She closed her lips together, squeezing them tight for emphasis so he knew she was prepared to be a very good girl.

She was so willing, her eagerness to please him, and to be pleased herself, was obviously clouding her judgement. He was certain that any normal person, anyone not so drunk with lust, would have should have taken one look at him and screamed. He hoped he was a vision of terror, and that she was just so interested in having him inside of her greedy cunt that she was willing to overlook the danger.

It's also possible she’s just that stupid, he laughed to himself. But he wanted to check. It would make it more satisfying for him to know the answer, as was his way.

“This is what I want. Is it what you want?”

“Well, yeah, you know that. We talked about it.”

“Ok. Well, I’m going to get on top of you now. I don’t want you to talk until I ask you to. Unless you need me to stop. Then you can use our agreed words. For now, though, I just want to feel you under me. I want you to get familiar with the weight of me. Test your strength.”

At her nod, he positioned one knee on the mattress, pressing down slowly and testing the strength of her shabby looking bed. It would do. He began to crawl towards her, settling his whole body onto hers, flat and still, his head turned away. She was looking up at the ceiling. It was awkward, it should have been embarrassing, but it felt strangely good to have him on top of her, effortlessly holding her to the bed. Stuck.

“I want you to feel like you’re in danger. I want you to struggle. Ok?”

She nodded, silent still, obeying his earlier commands, hoping to enthuse his sense of control. She lifted her hands to her front, between their bodies, palms flat against his stomach, and pushed, trying to lift him off of her. She grunted in faux effort, tiny whimpers as she pretending to struggle with him. She was enjoying this more than she had even thought possible. Pathetically grateful at the opportunity, she began to make a light weeping noise, more fake efforts at lifting him from her despite it being the last thing she wanted.

“Do you feel safe with me?”

She nodded, panting lightly, unable to get a full breath under his weight.

“I’m going to force myself inside of you, do you want that?”

It was all she wanted, all she could think about. A more enthusiastic nod this time. She opened her eyes to stare at him and smiled. She couldn’t see his face under the mask, but his eyes were wide. Very telling. And they weren’t reciprocating the smile.

He’s committed. Because I can definitely tell he’s enjoying this.

His length, hardening, rock solid against her thighs, twitching occasionally and tapping against her entrance as it did so. He moaned as she shifted below him, trying to get more comfortable.

“I want to make you feel good, you understand? I want you to be happy. I want you to enjoy this. I need you to tell me you trust me. Say it.”

“I trust you.”

“Struggle then.”

She wriggled her arms up to his chest, pushing lightly. Weak mewling poured from her lips, rehearsed and forced in an attempt to entice him further. Forcing her way up to his shoulders she grabbed the jacket and gave a playful shove. She yelped, pretending that the effort was too much, that he was just too big and strong for her. She wanted to feel him twitch at the noise. But it had the opposite effect to what she wanted, and her smile dropped completely as his hand, gloved and warm, made sharp and fast contact with the side of her face.

“Don’t pretend. Push me. Make some effort.”

She was taken back, but she had asked for degradation. Violation. And while she wasn’t sure he would have been able to commit to it, the slap had been very effective. It felt raw, emotional. Unrehearsed. She pushed harder, and a small pang of panic flitted through her mind as she realised that even giving all of her effort, he was actually too strong to push off of her. He was deceptively heavy, and oddly strong. He sank down harder onto her, seeming to weight more through sheer will power alone. The grunts were real now, as she used all of her force to try and shift him even slightly.

He groaned and grabbed her arms, holding them flat on the bed, straight above her head, his hands grasping the flesh just above her underarms. And so she resorted to using her legs, writhing and kicking from under him, thrashing in a way that was forceful, but careful not to hurt him.

“You’re not trying, are you? You’re making it so easy for me, too easy. Given up? Keep pushing, it’s not as much fun if you’re not struggling.”

She stopped for a moment, considering sulking at his attitude. She was trying, but he was too strong. He had overpowered her, which was the goal, but he didn’t have to be a dick about it.

“Struggle harder, use your legs you whore! You’re just lying there and taking it. Come on!”

Teeth clenched, seething at the insults, she thrashed her legs out, actively attempting to hurt him.

“That’s it! You’re so pretty when you struggle. Thrashing only makes me harder, but you better not stop.”

He pressed down on her, harder if that was even possible, panting heavily. His breath grew louder, hotter as he leaned his face to hers, planting a surprisingly tender kiss on the corner of her mouth, sloppily reaching for it in his haze, licking at her cheek and biting her chin. He followed the curve down to her neck, sucking and biting at it as he lay his body flat, still, on top of her. Occasionally bucking his hips into her when she let out a little yelp at the pain his teeth were inflicting on her tender skin.

He shifted, one hand on her arm still held above her head, the other hand on her hip, pushing it painfully into the mattress.

“Push me off.” He was commanding, serious. She gave a shove, straining against him to be able to put her weight into it.

“You can’t get me off, huh? Push harder, come on.”

She tried, with all her might, one last great heave, her whole body trying to arch off the bed and throw him off balance. But he didn’t budge, and she flopped back down in resignation, disappointed that she couldn’t offer him the fight he obviously wanted. She hoped he could still get off, that he wouldn’t call the whole thing off just as it was getting to the good part.

But instead, he sat up, straddling her. He pushed her shoulders, thudding her against the mattress again.

“Imagine being so pathetic” he spat the words out, “that you would let me hold you down without putting up a fight. Such a stupid little slut.”

Her abdomen tensed at the words, blood rushing to her cheeks, wetness forming in her underwear. She wondered, hopefully, how many times she might cum tonight. She was broken from the wishful thoughts as she heard a tearing sound from above her. He was ripping off a piece of duct tape, staring at the length he held from arm to arm. The way he held it, stared at in appreciation. It seemed ceremonious, like a ritual.

“Do you trust me?” She nodded. It was strange, but if anything, she trusted him more now than she had before. And she was desperate. This was all she had wanted for so long, a fantasy she had been building for years, never able to achieve a real orgasm because the lingering promise of what could have been, of this exact situation, was always there just out of reach. And now it was here. And she did trust him. She trusted him to deliver her pleasure. She trusted his abilities. She trusted their safe words.

“Grab onto the headboard.”

She took two of the spindles in her hands and he wrapped the duct tape around one wrist, tight and painful. She winced at it, but felt her clit throb in reaction. The other hand was wrapped swiftly after, and with nothing to push him with she began to twist her hips around under him, friction pressing against both of them, pushing them together, the heat unbearable.

“Oh Y/N this is…this is perfect.”

It was bliss to hear him call out-

Your name.

They hadn’t used each other’s names. They didn’t refer to each other at all, and the only time they had was when they confirmed their usernames to each other. Her username which had no tie to any other account, or her real name, or her email address even.

So how did he know? How did he know your name.

Panic twinged in her veins and her blood ran cold as she contemplated how safe she actually was right now. But before you could open her mouth, convinced already that saying the safe word would be futile, her mouth was covered with one, and then two, and then three strips of duct tape. Her breath was secured, trapped in her mouth. She had no option but to swallow it, eyes watering and wide at the fear now settling in her stomach. This wasn’t what she wanted. She let out a muffled whimper that led to a heavy sob, and from above her, settled on her abdomen now, she could hear him begin to laugh, stifling it as he began a tirade of fury aimed at her terrified face, spit frothing and hitting her as he spoke with an intense ferocity.

“Oh, poor Y/N. You poor, dumb thing. I lied to you, you fucking idiot! You’re such a stupid bitch, I almost felt sorry for you, actually. How were you to know? But then I thought you know what, normal women, respectable women don’t invite strangers into their home to fuck them, let alone ask them to tie them up and do bad and naughty things to them. So, if you think about it, you kind of deserve this.”

He smiled down at her, wiping his thumb under her eye and bringing it to his mouth to taste the tear on his tongue. His hands, still gloved, ran up and down her, and he shifted down her body again, straddling her, cock hard and pushed up against her thigh. He pressed his whole body against her, desperately, hands all over her arms, holding her against the bed, moving to her wrists where he teased at the duct tape, laughing at her.

His movements were clumsy, with a complete disregard to her body, laying underneath him. He kneed her as he shuffled down her body, sitting on her legs to keep them still. But yet, he demanded more from her.

“Come on, push me off of you! You’re not even trying, it’s like you want this. Is that it? You want it this way?”

She was shaking her head, desperately trying to find within him the reasonable man she had thought existed. But through the steamed glasses, there was nothing beyond the mask, and she became sickeningly aware that he had been in disguise the whole time.

“I know, there’s no point really. You can struggle as hard as you want, try and prove to me you don’t want it. But I know you do.”

He was unbuttoning her jeans, fumbling with his gloved hands. He snarled, growling as he pulled them down, little by little.

“And do you want to know something?” He was breathing heavily, panting at the effort he was exerting to remove her jeans as she squirmed. He grunted as he yanked them down, shifting them under his own body in an effort to keep her legs trapped beneath him.

“You’re not going anywhere!”

With a swift and rough movement he had pulled her jeans down completely, underwear coming down with them. He grabbed at them, pulling in an effort to rip them off, cutting at her legs as they refused to come off in the dramatic fashion he had hoped. She moved slightly, trying to shift and make it easier for him, but stopped in her tracks, like a hunted animal, as he groaned and pulled out a switch knife, quickly and all too carelessly slipping it under the fabric and pulling it up, cutting them in half, the fabric falling onto the bed below her. She was panting silent breaths. The nerves, visible on her face, her body, on the way her gasps fell out of her mouth. It all turned him on and he had to refocus on what he was trying to achieve, before he lost it and shot his load right there, watching her stare at him in terror, exposed. Soaked.

“God, you’re a mess, look how wet you are.”

He ran a finger up her slit, the sensation of the leather warm and rough. He retreated, both hands now slapping her thighs and grabbing them.

“I want to feel you. Skin to skin.” He bites at the gloves, pulling them off with his teeth. The way he moves is so animalistic, it pains her to know how arousing it all is.

“I want my fingerprints on you. If they find me, God I hope this is how they find me, I want them to find me. I want everyone to know who I am by finding out that you’re a pathetic whore who let me fuck you senseless.”

She whimpered at his words, tears falling from her eyes and rolling down her cheeks. She was ashamed of how much she was enjoying this, but she was entirely terrified, genuinely convinced that these moments were going to be her last. And part of her was ok with that, was trying to lean into it. Self-preservation? Her brain trying to numb her feelings? She wasn’t sure, but the tears poured forth despite trying to remain stoic in the face of her attacker.

“You’re so pretty when you’re crying. And you sound so good, so weak and small and desperate. Do you feel trapped?”

There was an effort of refusal, shifting below him and attempting to wriggle free from under his weight. He grunted, hands pushing her thighs apart as he settled between them, her legs unable to close over as he spread them out with his knees.

“I’m going to cum inside of you. I’m going to leave myself with you. I want you to remember this.”

He grunted, shifting his own trousers down, growling with a snarl on his face as he grabbed at his cock and smoothly pressed it against her thigh, moving to run it up her slit, edging slightly between her lips. He twitched and his voice caught in his throat as he felt her cum on his head. And with a final moan, he thrust himself in hard. She let out a muffled yelp, despite being incredibly wet he had still taken her by surprise by the swiftness of his entrance, and the dull ache as he forced himself up to the hilt was followed by floods of pleasure she no longer wanted.

“Look at me. Don’t blink, don’t shut your eyes, just look at me.”

She struggled against him, body trying to force its way further into the mattress so give some space between her and his body, to prevent him from getting so deep.

“Hey! I need you to look at me, look into my eyes and tell me you don’t want this.” He ripped the duct tape from her face. It smarted, her cheeks red underneath, some skin from her lips coming with it, tiny flecks of blood forming on them.

“Tell me you don’t want this. Come on, say it. If you don’t want it, say so. Ask me nicely.”

“Please, please stop.” She began to sob under him, irritated that she had allowed him to get the better of her. Disappointment at the fact he hadn’t stopped, when she’d asked him so nicely. Shame that she’d though he would in the first place.

“Don’t cry, idiot. Why would you think I would stop? Can you not feel how hard I am? You’re clenching around me. You like this too.”

He was slapping against her, the sharp sounds echoing around the room as she whined and moaned around him. The vibrations of her sobbing and shaking sending him over the edge. He pushed into her, harder and harder, making sure she could feel every single inch of him sliding into her, deep and painful. Sharp pains dulled by a bruising ache as he thudded inside of her over and over again, carelessly and angrily.

“Please…please don’t.”

“Please no, please stop, please don’t.” He was mocking her. “Pathetic, begging me. Look at me!”

She stared up at him, resolving to maintain eye contact. He seemed close, pressure building and his rutting become more frantic and ill-paced. She was going to make him watch her, see her face as he came. Remember the fear he instilled in someone. Though, in the back of her mind, she knew that was more pleasurable for him than a punishment.

“Oh God, I’m going…to cum…” His voice was weaker, softer. And in a turn that took her by complete surprise, he brought his hands around her back and kissed her, lifting her slightly and holding him to her. The sickly sweet action made her stomach turn.

“Tell me you like it. Tell me…you want…this…Tell me…I’m good.”

She couldn’t get any words out between panting and sobbing. If anything, his swift change in direction to needy and desperate had only fuelled her terror more. He was entirely unhinged. A mad man, on top of her, inside of her.

“Tell me…you love me! Tell…me…you love…me! Look me…in the eyes…and say it…”

At her silence, he grabbed her throat, tensing his fingers against the sides.

“I love you” she managed to get out, gasping and wheezing against his crushing pressure. And at her words, he came. A high-pitched scream that sounded more like pain than pleasure. He was breathing heavily, air squealing in his throat as he panted, filled with complete ecstasy and maybe misery. But he managed to catch his breath and he lay back down on her, completely flat, cock falling out of her, cum spilling on to the sheets below her. She was pinned down again.

“I love you too. I’m so glad we met.”

He knew where she lived. He knew her name. She had let her guard down too easily, charmed by what she now realised was the mask he was wearing when they first met. This was his real face. A figure shrouded in green.

#tw noncon #finnie writes #riddler smut #fanfic #the riddler fanfic #riddler fanfic #riddler x reader #riddler x you #ridler scenario #dano riddler #dano!riddler #edward nashton #the riddler fanfiction #the riddler #paul dano #danonation #cw noncon #cw violence

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artofpoeticjustice · 1 year

Text

Websites for authors

Hello, lovely people!

Sometimes it's not easy to find certain things. You search and somehow only a few know.

It took me a long time to find good websites, and today I'm sharing them with you.

Google Maps → Most people don’t know, but you are able to create your own map on Google. It’s a little complicated, that’s why I suggest you to google it – otherwise write me, and I’ll try to help you. It’s very helpful and if your story is based in this world, you can easily mark places or change them. I love it!

Canva.com → You need a Cover, but don’t know how to start? This site gives you the opportunity to use fonts, templates and much more. Sometimes it automatically offers you pictures from pixabay.com, which are free to use. If not, you can also visit this site and check out if a picture matches your wishes. Play with it and watch how you create your own book cover. (It offers even more than covers, but I’m not going to talk about it in this post.)

Familyecho.com → If you want to create a family tree without much work, this will help you. It’s a great site, and you can actually see how everyone is related.

Korrekturen.de → This is a German site, and I’m not sure, how good it is for English. BUT for German writers, this is almost a must-have. It’ll correct your writing prompts and help you to think more about your text. You just have to remember one thing: It only allows you to correct 1.5k words at a time. If your writing is longer, you have to copy and paste all the time (like me!).

Lanuagetool.org → This is the alternative for every other language (including German). You can apply it on your browser, download it, or just use it online.

Worldanvil.com → If you want to create a whole new world, this site will help you. I haven’t checked it out in detail till now, but I really like it. You can create a history of a world, an atlas, encyclopedia and areas and a map – it offers everything.

Nuclearsecrecy.com → If you’re writing a story, where a bomb is exploding, you can use this. You can select the type of bomb, and then you’ll see how much it will destroy. Great thing, if you’re going to write a dystopian story.

Mattbierbaum.github.io/zombies-usa/ → Another great site for zombie stories is this. I only found and used it for the USA, but I’m sure you can get it for other parts of the world as well. Here you can place a zombie and check how much time it’ll take till he comes to a certain place. Furthermore, you can simulate how fast he’ll spread the virus in a certain time. It’s a very interesting thing, and you can practically watch how quick the apocalypse will take down a country.

Oldmapsonline.org → If you are writing a story, which takes place in the past, this site might help you. You can check out old maps and furthermore, you can place them in today's world map and get an idea of how it used to be back then.

Tvtropes.org → You don’t know what kind of story you write? Well, there’s a name for everything. A list of tropes can be found here. Have fun and feel free to tell others what you’re writing.

Nanowrimo.org → I’m not such a fan of this site, BUT as a motivation it might help you to connect with other writers during the nanowrimo – the months in which writing is THE topic! You don’t upload anything there, but you talk to others and share your word counts!

Dafont.com → Most people are using the same font over and over. Sometimes a change in look, can motivate you so much! You can download every kind of font here, and almost everything is for free! (Remember the talk about covers? You can use those fonts for them.)

YouTube → Everybody knows it, but only a little people use it. You can create playlists and make a great soundtrack for your story.

Messletters.com → it’s a great site, if you need a different kind of writing and the page you’re writing only offers a few. You can copy them easily and use them. Furthermore, this site also has a lot of symbols. Check it out and see if it satisfies your aesthetic heart.

DeepL.com → if you require translations, use this one instead of Google translator. You can also upload PPTX data and much more.

Ko-Fi.com → if you want to sell stuff or just a tip from your readers, this site will help you. You can easily create an account and your readers can give you little money as a support.

Timeanddate.com → You want to know what kind of weather it was on a certain date at a certain place? This site will help you.

Hopefully this will help you. Have fun and follow me for more.

Justice. ♥

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maypop-the-dragon · 3 months

Text

PSA: Free Software

Reading this may really save your time, privacy, and money! Reblog or share to spread awareness!

Folks often use software that’s expensive and sometimes even inferior because they don’t know there are alternatives. So to those unfamiliar: basically, free and open-source (FOSS) or "libre" software is free to use and anyone can access the original code to make their own version or work on fixing problems.

That does not mean anyone can randomly add a virus and give it to everyone—any respectable libre project has checks in place to make sure changes to the official version are good! Libre software is typically developed by communities who really care about the quality of the software as a goal in itself.

There are libre alternatives to many well-known programs that do everything an average user needs (find out more under the cut!) for free with no DRM, license keys, or subscriptions.

Using libre software when possible is an easy way to fight against and free yourself from corporate greed while actually being more convenient in many cases! If you need an app to do something, perhaps try searching online for things like:

foss [whatever it is]

libre [whatever it is]

open source [whatever it is]

Feel free to recommend more libre software in the tags, replies, comments, or whatever you freaks like to do!

Some Libre Software I Personally Enjoy…

LibreOffice

LibreOffice is an office suite, much like Microsoft Office. It includes equivalents for apps like Word, Excel, and Powerpoint, which can view and edit files created for those apps.

I can't say I've used it much myself yet. I do not personally like using office software except when I have to for school.

OpenShot

OpenShot Video Editor is, as the name suggests, a video editing program. It has industry-standard features like splicing, layering, transitions, and greenscreen.

I've only made one video with it so far, but I'm already very happy with it. I had already paid for a video editor (Cyberlink PowerDirector Pro), but I needed to reinstall it and I didn't remember how. Out of desperation, I searched up "FOSS video editor" and I'm so glad I did. There's no launcher, there's no promotion of other apps and asset packs—it's just a video editor with a normal installer.

GIMP

GNU Image Manipulation Program is an image editor, much like Photoshop. Originally created for Linux but also available for Windows and MacOS, it provides plenty of functionality for editing images. It is a bit unintuitive to learn at first, though.

I've used it to create and modify images for years, including logos, really bad traceover art, and Minecraft textures. It doesn't have certain advanced tech like AI paint-in, but it has served my purposes well and it might just work for yours!

(Be sure to go to Windows > Dockable Dialogs > Colors. I have no idea why that's not enabled by default.)

Audacity

Audacity is an audio editing program. It can record, load, splice, and layer audio files and apply effects to them.

Audacity is another program I've used for a long time. It is not designed to compose music, but it is great for podcasts, simple edits, and loading legacy MS Paint to hear cool noises.

7-Zip

7-Zip is a file manager and archive tool. It supports many archive types including ZIP, RAR, TAR, and its own format, 7Z. It can view and modify the contents of archives, encrypt and decrypt archives, and all that good stuff.

Personally, I use 7-Zip to look inside JAR files for Minecraft reasons. I must admit that its UI is ugly.

Firefox

Firefox is an internet browser, much like Google Chrome, Microsoft Edge, or Safari. While browsers are free, many of them include tracking or other anti-consumer practices. For example, Google plans to release an update to Chromium (the base that most browsers are built from these days) that makes ad blockers less effective by removing the APIs they currently rely on.

Aside from fighting monopolies, benefits include: support for animated themes (the one in the picture is Purple Night Theme), good ad blockers forever, an (albeit hidden) compact UI option (available on about:config), and a cute fox icon.

uBlock Origin

As far as I know, uBlock Origin is one of the best ad blockers there is.

I was on a sketchy website with my brother, and he was using Opera GX's ad blocker. Much of the time when he clicked on anything, it would take us to a random sponsored page. I suggested that he try uBlock Origin, and with uBlock Origin, that didn't happen anymore.

Linux

Linux is a kernel, but the term is often used to refer to operating systems (much like Windows or MacOS) built on it. There are many different Linux-based operating systems (or "distros") to choose from, but apps made for Linux usually work on most popular distros. You can also use many normally Windows-only apps on Linux through compatibility layers like WINE.

I don't have all four of these, so the images are from Wikipedia. I tried to show a variety of Linux distros made for different kinds of users.

If you want to replace your operating system, I recommend being very careful because you can end up breaking things. Many computer manufacturers don't care about supporting Linux, meaning that things may not work (Nvidia graphic cards notoriously have issues on Linux, for example).

Personally, I tried installing Pop!_OS on a laptop, and the sound output mysteriously doesn't work. I may try switching to Arch Linux, since it is extremely customizable and I might be able to experiment until I find a configuration where the audio works.

Many Linux distros offer "Live USB" functionality, which works as both a demo and an installer. You should thoroughly test your distro on a Live USB session before you actually install it to be absolutely sure that everything works. Even if it seems fine, you should probably look into dual-booting with your existing operating system, just in case you need it for some reason.

Happy computering!

#196 #psa #foss #open source #tech #software #apps #computer stuff #I really hope Tumblr doesn't block this for having links or something. Someone mentioned that being a possibility and now I'm worried.#please reblog #2024-01-26

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absolutebl · 6 months

Note

Hi ABL!! This is more of a data question then anything but it might not actually be answerable.

How does the world of BL define a successful show? Is it money made on ads revenue? Streams? Trending hashtags??

Granted in North American media I also couldn’t answer this question, but I could gage based on…article reviews or critical acclaim. Or something.

I see soooooo many people saying something flopped or was massively successful, but truly. How on earth are we making those benchmarks?

I figure you might have at least a tiny sliver of insight into how this works! Or at least a key word I can take to google LOL. Thanks as always!!!!!

Hum.

Well for GMMTV et al, it's YT views. So that's easy. We can see those eyeballs outright.

The streaming platforms obfuscate data (that is one of the reasons SAG is still on strike) but we can see things like where it's ranked on their internal leader boards (what's "popular on Viki" for example). How many reviews something has. How many collections and lists it's on. How many people on MDL have it listed as "currently watching"

More key is how much chatter a show is getting. How many comments. But also...

Literally when you do a Google search for that IP:

How are the hit returns?

How many top spots does it hold above the fold on Google main (using private or incognito mode).

Are people blogging about it? Think pieces?

Are there reaction vids?

FMVs?

Reddit chatter?

BTS's?

Interviews with actors?

The amount of fan content generated around an IP tells you a lot about the number of viewers - since it is all a numbers game. Commenters (those who visibly/trackably react to content) are more common than (content) creators. Ghosts (passive consumers) are more common than commenters.

There are those in EntDA working on formulas for predictive fan base numbers sourced in the ratios of these.

Lemme try to explain...

In other words, the fans who create content for IPs (fanfic, art, meta analysis, FMVs, etc...) are the rarest. Those who interact with the content, leave star reviews, comment on the above fan-made content, engage in discourse, leave YT comments, are the second rarest. Those who tend to do nothing more than ... well, ghost (maybe have a subscription, maybe save the vid to a playlist or on MDL, maybe read this on Tumblr but don't react to it). They are the largest contingent but hardest to track.

If we could get a good handle on the first 2, there's usually a predictable ratio that can be drawn for the fan base as a whole, the largest number 3 - ghosts.

For example:

For every 1 creator there are 100 commenters and 1000 ghosts. Something like that. However the nature of this ratio is dependent on venue and vocality of the fan base (often a generational thing). So like, most Kpop stans are vocal, but 4th gen stans tend to be more noisy online, even though 3rd gen groups tend to have bigger overall fan bases. (Superstars, like super hits, are non-viable non-predictive outliers. There can never be another KP, or 2g, and we can't use their numbers to predict anything. Just like Taylor Swift or BTS can't be used to predict/estimate the success of a new pop venture).

back to the BL fandom

Here on Tumblr you can tell what's popular by which ones are getting the most gifsets.

That's how we know Only Friends is out performing Dangerous Romance. (I mean I could check the numbers on YT but I don't really have to.)

Also, I bet you good money Kiseki is garnering more eyeballs than You Are Mine. Again, I can say that with confidence just based on the content that's being created for that IP in this one venue.

On a practical level, in the ET industry, if there is chatter about a BL outside of BL circles (as happened with KP) you know it's gotten HUGE (by BL standards).

The moral of this story, incidentally, is if you like a thing, doesn't matter how shy you are, if you want it to continue, get a second season, whatever, you gotta NOT JUST WATCH IT BUT TALK about it. Online, where careers are made and broken. Squeaky wheel and all that.

Entertainment is about attention. More money is always thrown at the thing getting the most attention.

Just like politics.

Okay, I done now.

#asked and answered #probably more than you wanted #ABL dusted off big data #in the end it's a numbers game #and we here us on tumblr we're some of those numbers #congratz you asked a question you're being tracked!#yay!

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blairwritingscript · 2 years

Text

"Partners in Crime p1"

WORD COUNT: 2.1K

PAIRINGS: Venom/Eddie x Reader

SUMMARY: It all comes down to you being a very nonchalant bounty hunter desperate for a vacation or distraction, you got what you asked for and found... a partner?

WARNINGS: Mentions of fighting. little cursing. little alcohol.

A/N: B/N = bounty's name imma leave the name to your imagination. Venom's text is written like this :) also I DO take requests.

* Part 1 * Part 2 * Part 3 *

♪:;;;:♪:;;;:♪:;;;:♪:;;;:♪:;;;:♪:;;;:♪:;;;:♪:;;;:♪:;;;:♪:;;;:♪:;;;:♪:;;;:♪:;;;:♪:;;;:♪:;;;:♪

God did you want a vacation, but sadly your job didn't really work that way. It was your third bounty this month and it was only the 8th. Normally you would be hunting the lesser dangerous kind of people such as drug dealers or small gangs.

Your previous and first bounty this month was an example, it was someone who was illegally shipping stolen objects for a little while. It was rather easy since he was quite sloppy in "erasing" any traces.

this one was different. it felt.. different.

it took you long before you got a lead about B/N's whereabouts, but you found one anyways. It was all the way over in San Francisco though. At least it was a city with mostly little crimes so there shouldn't have been anything major to worry about.

As soon as you arrived at the airport you ordered a cap to a hotel downtown. Being a bounty hunter has its perks such as having quite a great loan. you didn't go to a 5-star hotel, you didn't want to have to much attention on you right away so you went for the slightly less expensive 4 star hotel.

Immediately plugging in your laptop you search the web a bit, news and blogs mostly helped you with finding locations of sketchy places.

Apparently it wasn't your lucky day cause you found absolutely nothing. Looking outside of your window you saw that the sun had already began to set. then your eyes moved to the bed and boy did it look comfortable right now.

You stood up from your spot on the sofa and and went through suitcase, picking up short and a thin tank top.

the night went by fast, too fast for your liking if you had to be honest.

You stayed in your improvised pajama's as you spend yet another part of your day looking online. it finally payed off when you saw something about suspected dealing in a bar only a few streets away from your hotel. you decided to go there later in the evening.

Well later came. You had dressed up nicely and went ahead on your 'mission' to find more info or perhaps find your bounty right away.

When you arrived at the bar you sat down at the higher stools on the right corner of where the bartender was toying around with the drinks, from this angle you could keep the whole place in check. Thinking you totally deserved it you ordered a Bloody Mary for yourself as well.

There were a few loners sitting around (probably trying to drink their problems away) you also spotted 2 couples and a little party in the other corner of the bar. You sighed quietly and sipped your drink.

"Eddie"

Eddie flinches slightly at the sudden voice in his head. "what?" He whispered.

"I'm sensing a weird smell in this place" Venom told him making Eddie look around a bit.

"I don't smell anything, maybe you smell the beer or something" Eddie dismissed venom's sense.

"You don't smell it because you're an idiot, Eddie"

Eddie frowned "ouch" he whispered annoyed. He on the other hand was already working on his 7th glass. "quit it man" he continued grumpily

Venom really wanted to smack Eddie right there and then. instead of doing that he just casually used Eddie to look at where the smell could be coming from.

Eventually he traced it to.. you. at first he wasn't sure if it actually came from you or the spot where you were currently seated. For now he's just gonna stay low.

Back to you and lady luck seemed to be on your side again. a man entered from one of the doors behind the bar. he wasn't much taller then you, blond hair, tattoo on his wrist and he definitely did not skip arm day!

Of course you have dealt with worse then him, even going as far as hunting down some sort of robot from Sokovia? But that didn't mean you could underestimate anyone that came in your path.

When he was about to walk out you paid for your drink and followed him from a few feet away.

Venom noticed it and he just left, not even feeling the slightest of guild for the bartender whatsoever. First as Eddie since he was out because of his low tolerance for alcohol.

When he was outside he walked after you a little wobbly and then went into an alley and became himself. climbing up a building and following you from up there.

After some minutes of following B/N he finally went into an alley himself. you thought nothing of it and did the same. big mistake.

Right when you turn the corner he holds out a knife towards you. "You think i'm so stupid that i wouldn't notice you tracking me, doll?"

you frowned at the little nickname, taking out a pair of daggers. you moved a bit so that your back wasn't vulnerable from behind as it was turned to the main street.

The guy put on a scowl when he didn't get an answer from you. He charged at you, his blade swinging every way except yours. you were better at dodging then fighting and that gave you countless opportunities to take him down.

you had to counter his blade with yours a few times but managed to make him run head first into the wall, giving you all the time you need to grab the handcuffs out of your pocket that you had carefully tucked there before you left your room.

It went all so smoothly, but all of a sudden something made a loud thud sound behind you. you were ready to turn around and face whoever was standing there. that was the original second plan but then you were roughly (and rudely) shoved against the wall. it took you a second to get your vision back, you looked at where you bounty is supposed to be but of course! he was just running away! escaping you just when you were so close to having the job done!

You shook your head and looked the direction of whoever or whatever made that happen.

that's when you say it.. him? her?

"You shouldn't do bad things, but i'm sure you'll make a good sn-"

honestly you didn't even care at this point. you stomped towards it like an angry toddler. pointing up at him aggressively.

"What is your problem!? Now my bounty is GONE because of YOU!"

Venom's eyes widened, not having expected a reaction like that from.. well.. anyone. he was frozen in place.

"i don't know what you are but have you ever heard of minding your own business?!" you shoved your finger into his chest, making him stumble back a little bit.

Everything hit him then. You're a hunter for bad people, like them.

"i am sorry" He said. it was so out of the blue that now you were frozen.

your shoulders slowly relaxed, a deep and bottled up sigh coming from you while rubbing your face in frustration. it was kinda cute to the symbiote.

you gave it one last glare before turning around and walking away.

Venom followed you, he made at first sure that there weren't any (or at least not a lot) of people walking in the street.

"you're not scared?" he asked quietly, walking a few meters behind you. it was annoying but it was a distraction from the silence that the night brought.

"why would i be? you're just an ass who messed up my hunt" you actually were a little freaked out because it's not on a regular base that you get followed around by an alien or whatever that thing is.

"i said i am sorry" venom got closer.

"you already said that but sorry doesn't make this situation better" you check your phone if there is anything on someone with maybe half a concussion walking through the street but yet again nothing show up.

"where are we going?" venom was now beside you, staring at you with those eyes?

you stopped "we?" you asked genuinely confused. "why would you want to come wherever i go?"

"i want to make up for it, that and you are interesting" you squinted your eyes, looking him up and down. interesting? you weren't sure if you had to take that as a complement, but besides his earlier attempt to do who knows what he seemed to be calm right now, friendly even.

"I'm going back to the hotel i stay in" you continued to walk again, it wasn't far and you were only a couple of streets away now but you were tired of today's events even when you stayed in your pj's for half of it.

"Do you want a lift?" Venom offered. "a lift?" you thought.

"but yo-" you started but were cut off when venom picked you up bridal style. He jumped up and latched onto a flat with his free arm. you hid your face from the wind and the only place to do that was his chest.

You wanted to scream your lungs out as venom casually hopped building after building. Your stomach began to feel like it wanted to scream too. You tapped Venom against his chest, hoping he would see it as a sign to stop. he did stop only not because of your tapping.

He looked down at you. "which hotel are you staying in?"

"first put me down please" you rubbed the bridge of your nose.

He did as you asked, you stepped closer to the edge of the roof. "Be careful" it was kinda sweet that he cared about your safety so you backed away for him. "501 Geary St, you know where that is?"

he nodded and was about to pick you up again. "ho ho, wait a second" you put your hands in front of you, gesturing to not do that.

"What's your name big guy?" you ask as you cock your head to the right.

"We are Venom" He said with confidence.

"We?" you questioned.

"ehh don't worry about it" He gives you a toothy smile. just the fact that you know that that is a smile considering how he almost always looks like he's smiling.

"okay? anyways, can i hold onto your back this time?" you smiled back.

He turns just like that, his back towards someone who is used to hunting people down (both legally and illegally). though you do have to admit that you wouldn't just try to hurt or capture some alien out of nowhere.

You climbed onto his back and we took off into the right direction this time. it was already past 1.30 am by the time you finally arrived at the window to your room. you opened it an got inside, happy when the warmth of it hit you cold skin.

the smile from before had returned to your face, hair a bit messy from the ride "you have anywhere you can stay, Venom?"

It took him a second to reply "i do, but it's very late" is what he said because he didn't want to admit that he didn't want to go, not even for Eddie who was still out cold.

you step aside, making room for him to come inside "then stay here"

He looked around. Eddie would have never been able to afford this. it was a large room with everything someone would need including a massive bed and TV.

you watched him admire the place, a small smirk forming onto your lips. you wanted to offer him the sofa but the you remembered his size. you sighed "you can take the bed if you want, i will sleep on the sofa"

Venom wanted to protest but he understood your decision. "thank you"

"lemme change real quick" you rushed over to your suitcase that was neatly placed on a rocking chair next to your bed, grabbing the pj's your wore the night before. you excused yourself again as you went to the bathroom to put them on.

Meanwhile Venom walked around until he got reminded that he was still with Eddie. He heard a soft grunt coming from the man within. feeling that he hadn't woken up he continued waiting patiently for you to come back.

as soon as you came back you flopped down onto the sofa, sleepiness overtaking you making you almost forget about your guest. you looked up "you can go to sleep if you want, or you can do.. ehm.. whatever you do?" you yawned halfway through that sentence.

"Goodnight" he passed you the bed's blanket which you happily accepted "Goodnight, V". he lay down on the bed. you wrapped yourself up in the blanket and fell asleep some minutes later while Venom was indulging in your smell that was printed in the bed. He smiled at himself and closed his eyes, ready to dream.

#venom fic #venom x reader #venom x y/n #eddie brock x you #eddie brock x reader #symbrock x reader #Venom #Eddie Brock #venom: let there be carnage

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leftistcrap · 9 months

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Hi, dyou have any suggestions for theory to read? If considered my self a leftist for several years now, but bcuz of personal circumstances I’ve not read any theory. I’m a little self conscious about it and I’m not sure how to start, overly complicated writing and long obscure words make it very hard for me to pay attention and actually digest what I’m reading. I’m looking for nuance and a better understanding of the world I guess, I just really don’t have any idea where to go with that. I know it sounds silly but I’d also be interested in theory podcasts, if that’s a thing.

I don't know of any podcasts about theory. There are plenty of audiobooks out there though. If you want to start with the absolute basics, you can read The Communist Manifesto and from there you can read their other influential works, a good selection being found on the Marxists Internet Archive's "Beginner's Guide to Marxism" page.

https://www.marxists.org/subject/students/index.htm

They also have a great encyclopedia where you can look up definitions of the various terms used. That and any online dictionary can help a lot if you're having trouble with obscure words.

The entire library at marxists.org is filled with works from all sorts of left-wing traditions, not just Marxism. If you go to their index of authors, you can browse through and pick whoever seems interesting to you. They've marked authors they consider particularly important with stars, but you can choose whoever you want to read. For instance, Kropotkin doesn't have a star on this page, but his Conquest of Bread is a very popular and easy to read introduction to anarchist communism. There's also an audiobook section on their site, and you can often find audiobooks simply by searching Youtube, the Internet Archive, or Librivox.

For more modern writers, I would recommend in no particular order Angela Davis ("Are Prisons Obsolete?" is a great introduction to prison abolition), Frantz Fanon, Michael Parenti, Judith Butler, and David Graeber. And he's more of an analyst than a theorist, but Jason Hickel has done a lot of great work exposing the failures of modern capitalism and how economic institutions cover them up and downplay them.

Depending on your interests, you can also check out libcom.org which contains a lot of reading material from a left-libertarian perspective, bannedthought.net which has a lot of Marxist, Leninist, and Maoist texts, and theanarchistlibrary.org which is a repository for a wide variety of mostly self-published anarchist materials.

There's certainly more that I've forgotten, and people are welcome to share their own suggestions on this post.

#socialism #communism #anarchism #politics #resources #anon ask

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youngtomhardy · 1 year

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LoveSexDrugs (2023) canvas shot by Isaac Luna

I grew up online. I really enjoy talking to fans, making genuine connections/friendships with them, over sharing. I even like making content as much as TikTok drives me up the wall. Recently I’ve started searching my name a little more frequently since I started gaining more attention. It’s very exciting. Listeners on Spotify grow every day, even with no editorial support. With that, of course, comes more negativity. I’m sensitive, but I’ve been through a lot, I’ve got thick skin. I don’t take hate to heart. I’m extremely confident in my music, branding, looks, etc. I feel I’ve gotten it all figured out and will only grow from here.

What I do take to heart is constructive criticism, even if it’s only meant to be criticism. Recently i’ve seen words circulating about the way I present myself on socials. I think maybe I put myself out there too much sometimes. Maybe I’m just not at a point where I need to try so hard, but nothing has ever come easy to me in this business so it’s my default. I realize my content might be attention grabby, may rub people the wrong way even and I stand by my decisions 99% of the time. But I have to draw a line in the sand when it starts to taint the listeners experience.

So I plan to be a little more removed in the future. Finally realize that my music actually stands on its own for the first time since I started this. I’ve grown more now posting infrequently on tiktok. Those advice tiktoks are full of shit btw, nobody wants to see you post 6 times a day. Like. Be serious 🤦‍♂️ but I just want things so bad sometimes that i’ll try anything. The pressure to blow up is so insane once you’ve met a new label and have the ceos hovering you for that success. None of my critics understand that… but they’re also not entirely wrong and that’s the part that sticks with me. I watched ethel cain go from like 200k to over 1M on spotify. All she had to do was be herself. I guess that’s my lesson here… why am I trying to show a version of myself that I’m not proud of? I refuse to do that anymore.

#me #michael medrano #disco dad #artists on tumblr #online diary #photoshoot #spotify #canvas

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themultilanguagenerd · 1 year

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Quick Guide: Using Manga & Light Novels to Learn Kanji

When it comes to language learning, finding new and fun ways to study to keep yourself motivated as you progress is sort of a must. It’s easy to find yourself stagnating as you become more advanced or finding your current methods boring. The idea of using manga as a study tool for kanji or casual language isn’t anything new in the Japanese studying community, but I’ve never actually seen methods being exchanged so I decided to share one I picked up recently to start learning more kanji in a way I found more entertaining than textbooks and typical kanji resources.

Resources:

tanoshii japanese

any japanese dictionary app w/ handwriting recognition

a pen that can write on your phone or tablet

Manga

When it comes to manga, most if not all kanji found are accompanied by furigana whether it is a character’s name or a verb or any other type of noun. This makes looking up any new kanji you find easy whether it is on. Personally, in the case of manga I will use the dictionary function on TanoshiiJapanese which is a great resource in general. Simply type the hiragana or kanji (and match the kanji you’re searching with the suggested kanji your keyboard generates) and press search. Not only will you be provided onyomi and kunyomi readings, but sample sentences and any and all conjugations a word may have including tense functions, potential form, etc.

Light Novels (& Doujinshi + JPN Fanfic)

Unlike manga, light novels (as well doujin and fanfic made by Japanese fans) rarely contain furigana so using the ‘type and search’ method you can do for manga doesn’t really apply here. I always found it frustrating when this happened to me because knowing what the kanji looks like doesn’t mean anything if you can’t look it up since you don’t know the pronunciation. But when I discovered the benefits of handwriting recognition dictionary apps, it was no longer an issue. Whenever you come across an unknown character, you can write it on the app and it will search it from there. The more clear your handwriting, the better the search will be so getting some sort of tablet/phone writing pen will go a long way. Even something cheap from online will do.

I also recommend the app has a list making function of some sort so you can save the kanji you learn if you prefer keeping your notes and flashcards electronically. Personally, I use Shirabe Jisho as it provides definitions, stroke order, onyomi and kunyomi readings, the JLPT level of the kanji (which may matter to some) and various compounds. Looking up the character 惚 produced several compounds like: 惚れる(ほれる), 見惚れる (みとれる) and 恍惚 (こうこつ).

#studyblr #langblr #japanese #kanji #study tips #does this count as a study hack?#japanese langblr #manga #light novels #fanfic #beginner #intermediate #advanced #i feel like all levels of jp learner can find benefits from this depending on what they are reading

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theroastedwretch · 1 year

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Between the Lines- Ep. 1

Warnings- PG-13 due to Swearing and Explicit Language, Mature Themes, possible Violent References

Index

When I’d gotten the message from Thomas, I honestly first brushed it off as a prank. I hadn’t changed my number for years, so it wasn’t totally impossible to think that someone bored had gotten their hands on it. It made more sense than any of the alternatives, at least.

And I had to give them credit, really, they were dedicated. Not to mention detailed. Having 5 people in on it, each with various responses to me? That definitely sold it more. I’d expect that a prankster looking for laughs wouldn’t risk presenting me with any arguments against getting involved that I could help with. But weirdly, their argument added conflict within my own mind.

I couldn’t really decide if I thought that the entire friend group was bored and getting their rocks off this way, or if it was just one or two people playing multiple roles, but the level of effort they put into it made me decide to give it a shot. I didn’t know a whole lot about identity theft, but I couldn’t imagine the point was to ask me absolutely nothing about myself except my connection to a name I’d never heard before.

I went ahead to my computer and typed in the name they gave me. Hannah Donfort. Meant nothing to me, and I wasn’t actually coming up with much online, either. They’d said 3 days ago, so I expected it’d be public by now. She was pretty, young, white, so I’d have expected to see her face everywhere.

Instead, it was pretty quiet.

Curious now, I caught a few profiles as people left the chat. First Dan, who didn’t seem interested in me in the slightest so I was more surprised he’d participated at all than I was at his leaving. The dark, hidden face in his profile picture, along with his workout shots and Kung Fu Hustle link gave me a good chuckle. I knew his type.

Next went Jessy. She was cute, and I wouldn’t have minded chatting with a real version of her occasionally. I dated women very rarely, but considering she was probably imaginary, dating wasn’t exactly what I’d be looking for, now was it?

Lilly, strangely the most convincing of the lot to me, stormed out not long after. Her profile was the most impersonal, so I probably wouldn’t have gotten much there anyway. I wondered if that had always been the case, or if a missing sister made you more aware of what you put out there and she’d locked things down.

Richy was also cute, in that effortless, corn-fed type way that I’d seen so often in the midwest. He seemed nice enough, too, and I imagined in a small town he was probably rarely without a girlfriend. Thomas’s profile was just about nothing but Hannah at this point, so I could only assume they’d been dating a while. Or he was the type to lose his identity in relationships.

I feel ya there, buddy.

Finally, I looked at the last woman standing: Cleo. Her Instagram had the most activity, full of baking tips and pictures of confections I knew I’d never manage to make myself. It extended back years, too. It was probably totally possible to fake those time stamps. Difficult, but I couldn’t imagine it was impossible.

The more realistic option, really, was that Cleo existed but was not actually who I was talking to. Easier to build up a contact around an existing history than the other way around, I figured. But wouldn’t linking her socials in the profile of the chat make it easy for me to message her there and that would blow the whole cover wouldn’t it?

Though, I guessed, if the goal of all of this was to get under my skin and waste my time, mission already accomplished. It wasn't like I had much better to do, though. So, win-win I guess?

Right before closing out of Cleo’s IG, the word Duskwood caught my eye. I’d seen that on all of them, come to think. It sounded like a late 90’s, early 00’s teen show at first, like Dawson’s Creek, but maybe it was relevant? I added that to my search next to Hannah Donfort.

Great. I got more hits, but now all of the results were in German. I was barely confident in my abilities to speak English most days. Google translate was always a POS, but it was probably the best I had right now.

While I was comparing the translation and original across two monitors, my roommate came up behind me and snorted loudly. “Is that Russian? What are you even doing?”

I quickly used keyboard shortcuts to clear both screens. It wasn’t totally out of character for this to be her doing, so I didn’t need to give her any more fuel than she’d already have. Once I was sure only my wallpapers remained, I whirled around in my desk chair to face her. “Russian doesn’t use the same alphabet, dumbass.”

She snorted and rolled her eyes in my direction as she grabbed her hat from the hook next to the door. Still, her grin was good-natured. We weren’t exactly close, she was a few years my junior and a lot more social than I was. The first year or so we’d lived together had been full of friction from her partying habits and penchant for coming home late and drunk, but we’d eventually gotten some ground rules worked out and she’d given up on trying to rehabilitate her senior citizen roommate. “Whatever, nerd.”

I picked up a pillow from the couch next to me and flung it at her. “Oh suck my cock, Annie.”

She caught it and cackled, throwing it back. She was smart and threw it towards my computer, so I ended up moving into it to protect my setup and took the blow to the face. “Don’t I get that enough from Steve already? Give me a break.”

Groaning, I tossed the pillow back on the couch before turning back to my laptop. “I really don’t need to know that, kid.”

I heard the jangle of her keys as she threw them into her purse and went toward the front door. “Alright. I’ll be out late. Don’t wait up, Comrade MC.”

Even knowing she was baiting me, I let my head fall back and yelled out, “It’s NOT Russian!” over her peals of laughter that echoed through the hallway.

___

Jessy and Dan’s conversation distracted me from my search, but by then I was at least convinced that this was too much effort for a prank. At least from anyone I knew. Even in German, there wasn’t a whole lot out there about Hannah, but there was something. From real news sources, as far as I could tell. And it looked like these people existed. I could be talking to someone pretending to be them, of course, but that seemed less and less likely as Thomas gave me more information about the situation.

Why would someone work so hard to make me believe something so implausible if it weren’t real?

Ugh, this level of reverse psychology gave me a headache. I hadn’t worked this hard to figure out if someone was lying to me since I caught my ex receiving sexy pictures and he swore he didn’t ask for them. I got fooled that time, too.

But the stakes were different this time. Last time, I felt really stupid for believing him and got my heart broken. But this time, if I bought into it all, there was a life involved. That they thought I could help save.

Which was equally ridiculous, frankly. Short of the occasional escape room or ambitiously deciding I could write a mystery story, I had no practice in investigation. I wasn’t even very good at escape rooms. My job was usually just grabbing everything while other people figured out whether or not it was useful. Once that was done, I usually just cocked my head to the side “meaningfully” and stared at something that turned out to be totally irrelevant.

So basically, if left to me, this girl was fucked.

Then the Hacker appeared, asking if I’d liked it. This whole thing was getting even weirder, but I didn’t feel like lying to him at this point, so I said yeah. I had been a teenage girl once and I watch trash reality TV when no one’s looking. Of course I’m nosy as hell and liked it. Doesn’t mean I was happy about it, or about being called out for it.

He seemed to be glad, though. But his call left me unnerved. This was more of what I’d been expecting from the group. Shady bullshit, pressure to participate, and getting me into sketchy activities. And here’s where the con began.

I even asked if he knew how suspicious he was, and I could almost hear him chuckling at me as I said it. Right, probably not the worst insult he’d gotten while putting on his cloak-and-dagger act. Even his profile picture and quote was practically made for me to ridicule him.

Okay Mr. Edgelord.

To be fair, while it was entirely possible he was just a walking cliche, it seemed almost like he had made himself so sketchy that it would be ridiculous for it to be him. I dated a guy who was interested in magic tricks, and one of the things I’d picked up from his constant over-sharing was just how purposeful every movement, every detail was. Each handwave, each sequin played a part to move your eye here, misdirect your brain there.

He wasn’t very good at the execution, but some of the theory stuck with me, apparently.

But it seemed like he had access to my phone to some degree, so maybe the point was identity theft. Or, I thought as he sent me access to the missing girl’s info, getting me to do his dirty, probably illegal, work for him.

I made a joke about stumbling across something X-rated, but he didn’t seem to appreciate the humor. Maybe he thought I meant I was hoping for it, rather than getting my thinly-veiled protests about violating the girl’s privacy and reminders about what it was totally possible I’d find.

So why did I find myself working out the decryption with one hand as I continued trying to find out what the hell was going on with the other? I need to let Annie actually take me to that club one day soon. Seriously.

___

As the afternoon rolled into evening and I got more information from the few people who seemed to want to work with me, I left my desk and stretched out the knots of the day. I needed to get water, I needed to unwind, and I needed to make a list. Lists were good.

So following those steps in order, I filled my water bottle, filled a wine glass, and sat at a table with a note app open.

Missing girl: real. The face in what they sent matched pictures released with the reports of her disappearance. And the shot couldn’t be found with reverse google, either. Their socials were all public, so I’d expect Hannah’s to be too. If they didn’t grab it from online, it seemed likely they took it or got it from Hannah herself.

I also tried searching their contact IDs and anything else I could find about them. This led to my next item:

Germany???? I knew no one in Germany. My family claimed to be German, but in that American way that meant I could count on one hand what I knew about the country outside of history classes. Plus, the 23&Me I’d gotten for Christmas ages ago didn’t even show much German and the family tree I’d gotten obsessed with years ago seemed to go back to the 1700s before I lost the thread because I didn’t want to pay for the world-wide version.

Sure enough, they all started logging off between 5 and 6 pm my time, which would be around 11-12 theirs according to the time zone info I’d found online. Reasonable for grown adults on a Sunday. Not definitive proof of anything, but also a small enough detail that I didn’t expect a casual prankster to really think of it. Though this had kind of moved from “casual prank” a long time ago.

Also, listening to the recording Thomas had sent, I could hear an accent under the voice distortion. I couldn’t tell for the life of me what it was, but it seemed most likely European of some kind. I’d met a few people from Europe in college, but none from Germany that I could recall, and I hadn’t stayed in touch with any of them. I tried listening to recordings of various accents but frankly, I was too bad at it to really know for sure. But after listening a few times, I also noticed just how panicked his tone was. Everything else I’d gotten so far from the group had been 3 days removed, but if I had the timeline right, this was minutes after she’d gone missing. Which he somehow witnessed. His call with me had been distant, cold. He was either a good actor, or genuinely worried.

Speaking of, the Hacker seemed to run odd hours. That in and of itself wasn’t surprising. I’ve always done the majority of my Facebook creeping in the dead of night, as if to hide my shame. Maybe it worked the same way for the more serious stuff. Or maybe he didn’t use blue-light glasses and had fucked over his sleep schedule. He could also just be weird.

Okay, he was definitely also weird.

Around 9 my time, I finally caved and messaged him.

MC: Look, okay, I give. If this is a joke, you win. If this is a scam, tell me about the Nigerian Prince or whatever and ask for my help. This is ridiculous. I’ve spent my entire day translating articles and looking at baking recipes for clues on top of trying to figure out how the hell to decrypt that cloud. MC: I can’t bake and I can’t hack. MC: Why am I doing this?

???: I realize how this all must seem to you. ???: And that from your perspective, you have no reason to participate. ???: But as you heard in the group chat, you really are the first lead this case has had.

MC: Lead? I’m not a lead, I’m a distraction! MC: What if the kidnapper sent my number to frame me? MC: Has Hannah even been to the US?

???: I cannot be sure, but most likely not.

MC: Right, and I’ve been out of it once. To Canada, if that even counts. For a week. This is insane.

???: An outsider’s perspective can be invaluable.

MC: Aren’t you an outsider?

???: In some ways, yes. But I also have an attachment to the case that could cloud my objectivity if I lose sight of it.

MC: You seem pretty good at staying objective from here, bro.

???: …Bro?

MC: Whatever. MC: Look, I’ll try. For a while. I’ll dig through your friend’s life because apparently I don’t actually have one of my own. But you really need to temper your expectations. This is so far out of my skill set that I can’t even begin to explain it.

???: Thank you, MC.

??? is offline.

Yep, weird.

____

It was 2am by the time I did actually get something, and figuring that it would be a while before the Hacker saw my message, I decided it was time to go to bed. It had been one of those rare kinds of days where I’d woken up early, and I was regretting it now knowing I was going to get maybe 5 hours of sleep before work the next day.

Annie, true to her word, still hadn’t come home. I was glad for it, really, I didn’t want to try to explain why I was still awake. She knew I never waited up, and she also knew I was cranky without my 8 hours. In fact, she’d gotten into the habit of setting up my coffee on nights she stayed out. She said it was to be nice, I suspected it was pure fear.

It still made no sense, what I was doing. But I felt drawn to it, if for no other reason than to find out how the hell I’d gotten involved in the first place. Only Hannah or the culprit would be able to tell me that, so I needed to find them to ask. But to anyone else I knew, it would seem insane. At best they’d tell me to block the numbers and move on. At worst, they’d want me to call the police.

Those would be the reasonable reactions, so of course I did neither.

I stripped down for bed without washing up. Tired MC was gross like that. When I got to my bed, I belly flopped onto the unmade mattress and groaned into my pillow before rolling over to plug in my phone.

Surprisingly, Mr. Hacker had already replied. He questioned the source of the picture, which I found silly considering he no doubt had seen everything I was sent and I normally didn’t collect pictures of random women in my spare time, bi or not.

He gave me a few more orders, and I rolled my eyes at the superiority in his tone. We both knew he was probably always the smartest person in the room, but that didn’t mean he had to act like it. I wasn’t a total dumbass myself, whether I acted like it or not.

Maybe my annoyance was why, when he went to log off, I stopped him. It clearly confused him, which I enjoyed. Through his whole attempt at small talk, I couldn’t wipe the silly, but slightly predatory, grin off of my face as he fumbled and struggled.

He might be the only person in the world worse at this than I was. I got a perverse kick out of finding something he was bad at. He told me his hair color, which truthfully mainly added to the edgy image of him I was building in my head, but his disbelief over giving it to me was the truly interesting part.

For the first time, he matched my snark with a touch of his own and I found I liked it. Too many people anymore just ignored it and moved on, and there was nothing like a sparring partner who could stand up to me. It didn’t last long, the conversation was very brief and no doubt he considered it a huge waste of time. I also couldn’t figure out why he indulged me.

Probably an attempt at manipulation. I’d already questioned my participation once tonight, so it made sense to consider this an investment in keeping me from doing it again. But as he answered my questions despite questioning himself as he did so, I had more fun than I had in a while.

The disappointment I felt when he cut it off and left me to my own devices had me mentally shaking myself.

Yeah, I was definitely going with Annie next weekend.

___

Attempting to juggle the conversations and work the next day went pretty poorly. I was exhausted from my late night investigations into both Hannah and my fellow investigator, I was cranky from realizing just how desperate I was for attention at this point, and Mondays always sucked to begin with.

I was somewhat in control of my schedule, at least to the point where they looked more at my deadlines than my day-to-day activities as long as I was available when needed, so around 1 in the afternoon I decided to take an extra long lunch and use it for a nap. Annie was awake by then and shot me a questioning look, but something in my face must have convinced her that it would be a risk to open her mouth at that point so she just continued binging some show she’d found on our shared Netflix.

Of course, as soon as I laid down, I got a message again. This time it was Thomas, and I pushed down the disappointment I resented feeling and lied to say he wasn’t interrupting anything.

If you weren’t basically a sad puppy, I’d murder you for interrupting my sleep dude.

He sent me pictures of the missing girl, but since he gave me time to look, I just tossed my phone to the floor without looking and closed my eyes for a while. He was appealing to my emotional side as much as sending pictures to jog my memory. The manipulation wasn’t subtle, but I couldn’t say for sure it wasn’t working.

Infuriatingly, my mind wouldn’t rest for more than a few minutes at a time and I found myself giving up after about 30 minutes. Maybe the mind-numbing decryption shit would lull me a bit, I reasoned, and flipped over to the weird program the Hacker had given me to do it. It definitely wasn’t to have an excuse to talk to him. Nope.

This time it was a bit faster, and I felt a surge of triumph and my success. Stupid broken dopamine receptors. Oh well, they’d probably gotten me into worse.

I sent him the picture, but for the first time he didn’t get back to me right away. I was about to try to sleep again when I saw the notification that Jessy added me. She was the other one I’d been personally curious about, so I decided to forgo my nap a bit longer and reply.

Despite the hour, she was at work still, and when she mentioned she worked for Richy it somewhat made sense. Mechanics tended not to close at 5, and that was my best guess of what he did from his profile and “banger” comment when he’d left the first conversation I’d had with this group.

I was a bit surprised to see that she didn’t bring up a single thing about Hannah, and even more so when she expressed the interest in getting to know me, personally. Other than the Hacker, who’d had to be cajoled into it and still clearly was mainly interested in me for the case, she was the only one who’d asked me a question about myself beyond my name.

For the second time, I found myself smiling as I chatted. I didn’t snark as much as lightly tease her, but it was still enjoyable. She sent me pictures of herself traveling and seemed shocked when I confessed I hadn’t done much of it myself. I was something of a homebody.

Even still, she jokingly invited me to visit and I considered it briefly. Not particularly interested when there was a kidnapper on the loose, but I wouldn’t mind getting out just once, especially if she and I established a decent rapport during my investigations.

It was with these thoughts that I, once we were interrupted by Richy coming back to the office, finally got my nap.

___

I woke up in a bit more pleasant of a mood than before, though I can’t imagine that it was possible to get worse. I was groggy, and hadn’t nearly caught up on the sleep I’d missed, but it helped to shut my brain off for a while.

I grabbed my phone, which I hadn’t put down for more than a few waking minutes in the last 24 hours, and after a visit to the bathroom, sat down at my desk.

My absence had been noted, but I begged off with the excuse of a cold. I was usually pretty responsible, so I was let off with a reminder about the importance of away messages and out of office alerts that I smiled and nodded through.

I got exactly one item done on my to-do list when yet another notification showed on my phone. It wasn’t even for me, but one from that spy mode that the Hacker had given me, so I almost ignored it. I wanted to. But some nagging voice in the back of my head, which sounded strangely like it was using a voice modulator, reminded me it could be important.

Thomas was telling Cleo about the pictures he sent me. Which I still hadn’t looked at, and I groaned knowing there was no way he wasn’t going to reach out soon. They discussed their suspicions of me, which I found interesting since Thomas seemed to be pushing me into the role of chief investigator. I guess he was trying to keep an eye on me or something.

I looked at a picture or two of Hannah before I saw that Jessy had gotten back to me. I much preferred talking to her over looking at pictures of someone I knew I didn’t know, so I decided to reply to her first.

Just to feel like I was doing my job a little, I mentioned that she didn’t seem to have the same worries as the others. She got defensive, of course, but her response was reasonable, if a little callous. She was right that police were way more qualified to do this than our Scooby Gang, even before you factor in that the Mystery Machine wouldn’t be nearly enough to get me to Duskwood.

So I truthfully admitted to her that I didn’t find her suspicious. Frankly, her pictures made her look small and delicate, and I couldn’t imagine her being able to overpower someone and drag them to another location. Maybe a child, but even though I couldn’t find anything showing their relative sizes, it seemed to me that Jessy was smaller than her.

It wasn’t enough to exonerate her, but it was enough for me to feel more sure about her than the others. Besides, it couldn’t hurt to make her feel more comfortable with me and let down her guard.

After she went back to work, I forced myself to focus again. Mostly. I continued to decrypt every so often, mostly between calls, but my mind couldn’t stop drifting anyway. I found a cat picture, weirdly the most interesting to me so far (not having cats was killing me, but Annie was allergic and the landlord would charge a pet fee anyway), and sent that off but still didn’t hear back.

Mostly I watched the clock and desperately waited until it was an acceptable time for me to log out after I’d missed so much time earlier.

It was late before anyone got back to me, and I scrambled to look at them when Thomas reached out expectantly. He was predictably upset when I reiterated that I didn’t know Hannah. None of her pictures looked familiar, the name wasn’t familiar, she was half a world away and I didn’t even talk to the people I worked with most of the time. I couldn’t figure out what he wanted from me.

Well, I could. He wanted me to be the magic fix, the missing piece that would save everything. And he wanted it now. It sucked to be the one to tell him it wouldn’t work that way. But I couldn’t let him go on thinking that. I was still convinced that there was no good reason I was there, but he and Cleo both seemed to look at me like I was Hannah’s savior and I was a bit worried about what would happen when they realized that wasn’t the case.

____

It was morning before I heard back from the Hacker, the longest pause so far. Which, I reminded myself, “so far” was only like 2 days. Still, other than Thomas, he seemed to be the most focused so I was a bit surprised. I pondered his relationship to the missing girl for a moment before reading what he said.

We talked a bit about metadata, and I tried not to admit that I was completely out of my depth with this shit. I didn’t want him to realize just how incompetent I really was, despite the fact that not too long ago I was trying to convince him of it.

He gave me a contact ID and then disappeared again. Was he avoiding me? It seemed silly, but he seemed uncomfortable when I’d forced him to talk to me so maybe I’d pushed too hard.

With those thoughts swirling in my head, I didn’t really feel like chasing down someone else and making them talk to me, so I got up to chug some coffee and hopefully get my work done.

Of course, it was too much to hope that two late nights would go without comment from Annie, and she stood in front of the already-made pot with her arms crossed in front of her chest, one eyebrow raised.

“You’re being weird. Why are you being weird?”

I rolled my eyes. “Annie, I’m always weird.”

“Don’t deflect, you’re a different kind of weird than this. You’ve been clutching your phone like it’s made of gold and you’re being a space case if you’re not looking at it. Even when you’re writing you’re not this bad. Spill it.”

I dodged around her to grab the pot. She really must be curious to stand between me and caffeine. “There’s nothing to spill, really. Work’s been stressful and I guess it’s wearing me out. But it’s fine.”

She eyed me skeptically, and I tried to meet her eyes as I sipped my coffee despite it being too hot for my tongue.

“No, that’s not it.” She tapped her chin in an overdramatized gesture of thinking. “Is it a boy?”

I glared at her. “First of all, I’m damn near 30 years old, I don’t talk to boys. Second, where would I even meet a guy? I haven’t left except to pick up groceries in weeks.”

She snorted. “Fair. But you have all those nerd sites you go to. The LARP stuff or whatever?”

I cringed. “RPG, Annie. LARP stands for live action role-play. Means I’d be leaving the house.”

I deserved the laughter she burst out into, really. She shook her mane of dark hair and rubbed her face a little. “Right, of course. My mistake. RPG.”

I opened my mouth to deny it, but my brain caught up and I paused. Would it be so bad to let her think that I was talking to people from one of my “nerd sites”? It was a lie, sure, but only in details. They were people I kind of met online, and I was definitely trying to play a role or two…

“Fine,” I snapped out. “I’ve been making some friends online. They’re not from around here so they’re up at different times than I am and it’s fucking with my sleep schedule. I need to get better about keeping myself responsible, I’m working on it.”

I turned toward my desk with a flourish, trying to seem indignant that she’d dragged the “truth” out of me. Two things Annie loved were gossiping and giving me shit about being a nerd, so hopefully she’d overlook my terrible acting and take the bait.

“Tell me about him!” She squealed, rushing over to the couch and leaning toward me while I began to boot up my system.

“There’s not a him. I mean, there’s guys, but no one specifically that I’d label as him. I’m just looking for some friends, you know? I’ve been wrapped up in my own head lately, so.”

Her face fell in sympathy. “Oh, MC, I’m so sorry. I know I’ve been going out a lot lately, I just didn’t think. We should do something this weekend, get your mind off of everything.”

I felt a little guilty as I chewed the inside of my mouth and nodded. “I was thinking that maybe I’d join you on Saturday night if you didn’t mind. Get drunk, dance, make some bad decisions?”

She almost squealed in excitement and clapped her hands loudly. “Yes! We’ll do makeovers first, it’ll be great. You’ll be drowning in boys. Sorry. Men.” She laughed at her own clever joke and I died a little inside imagining what she was going to turn me into.

Still, it’d make a good distraction, right?

____

After our first conversation, Jessy and I had fallen into a pattern of a kind of speed getting-to-know-you. It wasn’t at all related to the case, and probably could have been considered a waste of time. But honestly, I was enjoying the time spent between decryptions and wracking my brain trying to figure out how I got involved with any of this in the first place.

She was sweet, bright and funny, and I was shocked to see that she was putting up with my darker humor and dry remarks.

Sometimes she’d give me a light backstory on the others. Just enough to get the picture of their closeness and affection for each other, before this had all started, and I started understanding their reactions a little bit better.

It made me vaguely wistful for the time when my high school friends and I were closer. The quips and barbed affection, always knowing you had someone to make plans with when you needed them. It was something I missed deeply.

Since I wasn’t from a small town like Duskwood, our lives spread out more. Different colleges, different jobs with different schedules. Then we started moving cities, settling down.

So something about Jessy’s almost childlike bubbly personality and willingness to giggle like an idiot with me had me feeling less alone, even from halfway across the world.

Jessy: Sour or sweet?

MC: Sour.

Jessy: WHAT? 😫

MC: What? You asked! Sour candy is great. As a kid, my mom had to hide the bags of Warheads so I didn’t end up burning my mouth and ruining my teeth MC: Lemons, too.

Jessy: Warheads?

MC: Oh no, am I showing my age or my American?😟

I cringed. Somehow age was something we hadn’t touched on much yet, but from her pictures I’d guess 24, 25 or so. I had been staring down the barrel of 30 since the day I turned 29 months ago, so even with the logical realization that there wasn’t much difference, sometimes it felt like worlds to me.

Was 30 too young for a midlife crisis?

Jessy: Not sure, maybe both?

MC: Okay, let’s pretend it’s American then. I refuse to be THAT much older than you lot. MC: I assume you pick sweet then?

Jessy: Of course! Like a normal person

MC: I like sweet stuff too. Peanut butter and chocolate is pretty great together.

Jessy: Gross.

MC: Fine, fine. I’m weird. Nothing I didn’t already know. 😎 MC: Okay, my turn. MC: Hm. MC: I’m starting to run out of them!

It was true. After what felt like near-constant conversation, I’d started to struggle to come up with anything. I’d already picked some off the wall things that didn’t really fit the format, and we’d done repeats more than once.

Jessy: Me too.

MC: I could google “how to make friends” MC: Oh! We could always do Marry, Fuck, Kill. Haven’t done that in years.

Jessy: No way am I playing that with you. Jessy: I can’t even imagine the terrible options you’ll come up with.

I cackled, then glanced over my shoulder to make sure my roommate wasn’t around. She’d already noticed the sudden uptick in phone activity and got a bit annoyed at my near-constant preoccupation. Especially since our walls were paper thin and the messages sometimes started in the morning for them. I hadn’t really gone into what time zone I was in—though at least Jessy (and presumably the Hacker) knew where I was from so it wouldn’t have been hard to check. I don’t think it occurred to them that what was a totally reasonable time of the morning for them, late even, was the crack ass of dawn for me.

Once I got ahold of myself— she really was so sweet— I could finally reply.

MC: I’m wounded. MC: But it can only get so bad since it’d mostly be celebrities. We know all of 3 guys in common.

Jessy: And they’re bad enough!

MC: And boring, I already know the answer. MC: Marry Richy, Fuck Dan, Kill Thomas.

Jessy: 😳 Jessy: Gross. That’s worse than the lemons!

I mean. Thomas wasn’t my cup of tea, but the other two weren’t so bad on the eyes. There’s no way she’d rather eat a lemon.

MC: And yet you don’t deny it. MC: 🤭 MC: If it makes you feel better… Same. MC: Well, at least based on their photos. You could know something I don’t.

Jessy: You’d sleep with Dan??

MC: I mean, generally? Meh. Of the three? Yes. Richy’s sweet, stable and responsible. Runs his own business. His sense of humor doesn’t clash with mine. MC: Thomas and I are way too different. He’s nice enough, but I think he’d drive himself crazy with how dry I can be. He also doesn’t seem like the sort for one-off encounters. He keeps reminding me of a sad puppy. MC: I mean, I’m not crazy about one-night-stands myself, but still. Hypothetically. MC: Dan and I would murder each other long-term. Not totally sure we wouldn’t murder each other in a night, either, but at least it wouldn’t be boring. 😂

Jessy: You are both fairly…

MC: Much? 😘 MC: Did I overshare?

Jessy: No. I mean, maybe, but no. I’m just surprised you’re so open about it.

MC: Sex? MC: Sorry. I was friends with mostly guys growing up, and they were pretty shameless about it. I forget how normal people work, I guess.

Jessy: I don’t mind. Jessy: It’s kind of fun. I just don’t know what to say.

For some reason, I couldn’t fathom a group as close as they were not gossiping. Especially with such and even gender split. Maybe it made sense not to get into details with Hannah and Thomas since they seemed pretty serious, but when my friends and I had been closer, I usually had texts asking for details before I’d even decided if I was going to learn them at the end of the date.

We’d also somehow managed to all see each other naked at one point or another, but that one I knew wasn’t as common in friend groups, especially adult ones. And maybe small town kids were less likely to get drunk and break into pools?

Or maybe my bad decision making started long before I’d replied to Thomas’s message and took the call from the Hacker.

MC: You don’t have to! I shut up eventually.😅

Jessy: I’m not sure I believe you. 😂

I burst out laughing at that. She was at least a little perceptive, then…

MC: You might be right.

A thought popped into my head, first making me cringe before I laughed harder. Swapping back to my chat list, I quickly scanned for the hacker and saw that he was online, but not asking me about my progress on the contact ID or discussing any theories or leads the way he normally would. Was it possible…?

MC: To be fair. It’s kind of a roll of the dice when you read other people’s chats.

??? is offline.

With a smirk, I locked my phone and stuffed it in my pocket, walking down the street toward the corner coffee shop with a bit more spring in my step than I’d normally have.

___

A few hours later, long after my coffee had been consumed and I’d gotten the chance to relax a bit, I felt a little guilty. I hadn’t planned to tease him, and it wasn’t like I’d said those things to Jessy to bother him. But it wasn’t exactly a secret that he was pretty buttoned-up and straight-laced. I couldn’t imagine that a man who felt awkward sharing his hair color wouldn’t be massively thrown off while reading about the dirty thoughts of his partner-in-crime while trying to rescue a kidnapping victim.

What had my life become since I got Thomas’s message?

Still, I couldn’t imagine he hadn’t seen worse if he spent his time peeping into people’s lives. Hell, he was lucky he was just reading the messages from Hannah’s friends and not mine.

...I hoped.

I thought back to the first time I’d gotten him to talk to me even the least bit openly. And how, when I’d asked whether or not he was curious about me, his answer focused entirely around my part in the case. Much like the group, his interest in me was about how I could help Hannah, and nothing more.

It was while I was pondering my own value and the morality of subjecting someone to my sex life without consent as he read my messages without consent that he messaged me.

???: You need to update the operating system on your phone.

Yeah, that seemed right. No mention of earlier, no discussion of even tangentially case-related things he may have found in my chats. If I thought Jessy was naive and innocent, this Hacker seemed downright Victorian.

After spending so much time stressing over him, for some reason, his professionalism and distance made me feel a bit cheeky.

MC: Gee thanks, Siri. It’s set to automatically do that overnight, it’ll be done by morning.

???: An outdated system can make your phone less secure, and makes the connection between our devices much less stable. It needs to be done as soon as possible.

I groaned knowing there was no way he’d let me wait until I went to bed. But my chair was so comfortable and moving sounded like death. Did he not get how lazy I was?

MC: Fine. Give me ten minutes. My charger’s upstairs and my roommate’s due home in a bit so I can go do it then.

He didn’t reply, but as his command sunk in, I couldn’t hold back my curiosity any further.

MC: Wait, you can see that much of my phone? MC: What about my searches and emails and messages with my friends and stuff? MC: Like, not Hannah’s friends, my friends.

???: I have access to all of that information, yes. But I only look for relevant data. Your unrelated conversations hold no interest for me.

MC: Right, so, that’s why you fled earlier?

??? is typing…

???: I merely had something come up that I needed to attend to.

I snorted and bit back my “that’s what she said” retort. I didn’t think he’d take the implication well, frankly.

MC: Then how did you know what I was referring to? If you weren’t reading along and didn’t flee, I mean.

There was a long pause where he didn’t even type and I wondered if he’d just walked away or maybe even fallen asleep without closing the message. The obvious answer was, of course “because you messaged me”, but a guilty conscience was rarely rational.

Eventually, the typing indicator reappeared.

???: I was online for most of the day, so there were only so many times that you could be referring to.

MC: Sure MC: Look, I’m not even trying to call you out really MC: Okay, I am MC: But it’s not about that. I came to terms with you having access to my entire life disturbingly quickly. But at least the others don’t know you see everything. MC: I just felt weirdly guilty earlier. Like I was violating your boundaries or something. Which, again, a bit disturbing and I need to self-evaluate after all of this is over. MC: But I don’t like feeling like I can’t be myself because you might see something you didn’t consent to.

???: Are you saying that you feel required to change your behaviors in messages that anyone else would assume to be private in order to protect my feelings?

MC: Kind of?

Again, there was a pause and I tried to amuse myself by counting the number of times that it seemed like I’d broken his brain since we met.

The total probably should have made me feel bad. I’m not actually sure why it didn’t.

???: You are… odd.

MC: I mean… yeah? MC: Aren’t you supposed to be super smart? MC: Because that’s been obvious from the start.

???: Please do not see it as an insult. I simply have never imagined that anyone would ever dream of attempting to be considerate to someone who has illegally hacked into their phone.

MC: Sure. But it’s not like you’re doing it to perv on my freaky porn habits or steal my money. MC: I don’t have any anyway 🙃 MC: You want to find your friend.

???: I really do appreciate your trust and concern, believe me. But there is no need for you to stop being yourself.

MC: You’ll regret that eventually. I’m really annoying.

???: :)

??? is offline.

___

Still feeling a little guilty, I walked my phone to my room and started the updates, then pulled out my laptop to finally add the contact ID. I knew that the Hacker was barely restraining himself from bugging me over it.

When I saw it was Dan, I chuckled. He seemed about as excited to be talking to me as the Hacker did the time I’d strong-armed him into small talk, and logged out even more quickly. I guess I’d fooled myself into thinking I was getting better at talking to people, when really it seemed more like Jessy just liked me.

Dan immediately ran to Jessy to tell her about my intrusion, and she didn’t seem the least bit surprised. I hadn’t been totally sure she remembered that I was investigating since we’d stopped talking about it entirely, but clearly she did and it just didn’t bother her, or she thought she was distracting me enough from interrogating her.

She wasn’t entirely wrong.

Still, it made me feel a bit better to see her standing in my corner on it, even when he got angry and stopped talking to her about it. I felt bad, of course, that her friendships were suffering over me, but I couldn’t help but admit I’d come to really like the girl since we started talking.

Maybe thinking about that is why I answered an unknown call despite it being totally out of character. The breathing was bad enough, but the voice… bothered me. I don’t know why. Normally that kind of stuff would make me laugh, frankly. But after spending solid days entrenched in the life of someone I knew was missing, it sent a shiver up my spine.

The first thing I could think to do was tell the Hacker, an impulse I didn’t let myself examine right away. It made more sense to go to Jessy, who I’d formed an actual connection with, or even Dan, who had been the last person I’d spoken to before this. So why did I go to the other creepy, nameless man in my life?

Maybe he meant to make me feel better by brushing me off. Or he genuinely thought he was right, that this call was a good thing. But in that moment, his absolute insistence that I should be glad to put myself in danger blew away anything good I’d been feeling about myself over Jessy, or even the previous chats I’d had with him. I was clearly still just a means to an end, a pawn.

So where I’d normally have let the call from Jessy, about finding a body, keep me home that night, I forced myself to smile and chat with Annie over a glass of wine as she put temporary color in my hair, pained, pulled and prodded every part of my face, and dressed me in something that I only didn’t refuse because of the wine.

After a couple of selfies, uploaded to social media with breezy captions, we were ready to go make mistakes.

Episode 2

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