nan-ni shimasho-ka?

haikyuu!! + dorm ‘meals’

the ‘meals’ has a quotation mark because ‘meals’ is a social construct and anything from a single m&m to a thanksgiving dinner can be considered a ‘meal’ especially if you’re a broke-ass college student trying to cook in a dorm

Hinata: there’s no way he compromises with food and eats rice three times a day. at midnight he’ll go out to buy pork buns

Kageyama: milk powder and rice mixed in a cereal bowl and eaten with The Only Utensil he has which is a single chopstick

Tsukishima: frosted. strawberry. poptarts. he knows it’s not good for him but he doesn’t care. makes this thing called a ‘poptart sandwich’ which is exactly what the name suggests (there’s extra jam in between the poptarts)

Yamaguchi: loves making smoothies and shakes and posting pictures of them on instagram. he did kind of get too far when he started blending asparagus 

Ennoshita: tries to eat as healthy as possible while still being on a budget so he eats salsa with everything and now he has five million salsa jars in his dorm 

Tanaka: you were scared of him at first because he kept his cigarettes in a jar until you found out those weren’t real cigarettes after watching him take one and just bite into it (they’re made of candy)

Nishinoya: makes his own tuna-mayonnaise onigiris that are 60% mayo, 20% tuna, and 20% rice. yeah, you don’t eat in your room too much

Daichi: has those instant-oats-and-cereal-mix drinks that you add hot water to. except one time he added cold water instead of hot and he stared at his mug for five minutes before drinking it nonetheless

Sugawara: he loves eating gummy bears except he lines them up on the table, eats each of their heads first, and then the rest of the bodies. you’re genuinely scared

Asahi: he really, really loves string cheese for some reason? when he first moved in you watched him open a box and pull out packet after packet of string cheese

Oikawa: he’s a trader joe’s/healthy options bitch because he’s one of their ‘influencers’. except he just takes pictures of the food and makes you eat them because they taste like cardboard

Iwaizumi: tried to go one of those ‘cleanse’ things because he heard its good for you and ended up punching a wall out of pure hunger on his third day

Matsukawa: canned tuna and crackers except he plates it real nice, even adding ‘artful smears of ketchup’ on the side of his plate

Hanamaki: microwaveable mac and cheese. every time he stirs his cup he just goes ‘this is what good pussy sounds like’ 

Ushijima: you don’t know exactly how but this guy somehow manages to make full course meals like vegetable stir-fry and fried rice despite the fact that there’s only a microwave in your dorm

Shirabu: vodka. sometimes with orange juice

Tendou: deadass brought an entire CHEESE FONDUE machine with him to his dorm room and turns it on every night. he’ll eat anything with it: marshmallows, nacho chips, other solid forms of cheese

Semi: spicy fire chicken noodles (you know, those samyang korean noodles) but he also adds extra hot sauce to it because it still isn’t spicy enough for him

Goshiki: eats normal, healthy food but you find it cute that he has his name written on his utensils, as well as a number to contact in case he lost them

Kuroo: oreo cookies !! but when he has a pack, he eats all of the fillings first, crushes all the cookies, and then eats the crushed cookie with a spoon

Kenma: snorts crushed doritos like its cocaine

Lev: this guy fricking eats caviar by the can like it’s nothing ???? just casually opens a can, maybe he’ll top it on some crackers and rice as if it’s canned tuna or something

Yaku: barely spends money on food because he’s addicted to bubble tea. one time you asked how he functions on just bubble tea and he just straight-up looks at you and says ‘my organs are dying’

Bokuto: he regularly buys a twenty-piece box of chicken nuggets and two orders of large fries. at first you thought he was going to share but he didn’t

Akaashi: to him, coffee is already food. his organs scream for water but he goes for iced coffee. he really tried quitting for a week and ended up sobbing halfway through

Atsumu:  the only thing he brought to his dorm for eating was a mug and he’s dead set on using that single mug to cook and eat his meals while he’s in the dorm. it’s fun watching him make instant ramen

Osamu: he tried to roast an entire chicken by cramming it into the microwave during the holidays. needless to say, it didn’t work and your room looked like a crime scene

Suna: he only eats instant noodles, no matter what day or occasion. but one time, he accidentally drained the broth after adding the seasoning packets in and just sat on the edge of his bed with cooked, plain noodles 

Kita: any fruit that he cuts and peels himself. when he notices you’re stressed he’ll literally peel tangerines for you and leave them on your desk

Sakusa: he doesn’t trust himself to use the microwave, nor does he want to eat shitty food so he’s always ordering salad because he’s a Healthy Bitch

***********************************************

taglist (still open to anyone who wants in!): @montys-chaos​ @miyumtwins​ @strawberriimilkshake​ @pocubo​ @sugawara-sweetheart @akaashisbabydoll @laure-chan​ @therainroguefanfiction​ @atetiffdoesart @stephdaninja @oikaw-ugh​ @charliefredb​ @dramaqueenweeb1469 @tremblinghearts @applepienation @doodleniella @haikyuu-my-love @tpwkatsumu @waitforitillwritemywayout

Always childe brainrot hours. Always.

Oh he wants to be a tease? Well one of you can use chopsticks and it's not him so,,

He comes home late sleepy as hell but there's dinner and a note sitting there for him and he goes all soft thinking about you

The two of you are obviously the topic of gossip among his underlings, them giggling like chatty schoolchildren and then hushing whenever he happens to walk by and shooting them a look that suggests that they get back to work

Kissing his nose when he least expects and he goes red but then chases your lips for a real kiss 'because you missed' as well as about a billion others all over your face until you're both laughing breathlessly

mag !!! hi hehehe <3

1.) he probably has tears welling up in his eyes each time it happens because he's a) super touched that you did this for him and b) regretful that he's so late that you have to do this for him. you're so patient and nice with him that he can't help but get a lil sappy over it! he doesn't care if it's leftover kraft mac and cheese or if it's a five course meal, he's gonna eat it and its going to taste amazing to him no matter what cuz you made it.

2.) dottore and signora loudly chat about the two of you, much to childe's behest. unlike his underlings, childe can't shut them up. despite the way he silences everyone, childe is never too harsh in how he chastises people because, if he's being honest, he likes everyone knowing they're yours. will make a public display of teaching someone a lesson if they try talking bad about you, though.

3.) going in for a cheek kiss? childe WILL move his head so your lips meet his. "your aim looked off" type of excuses will exit him as you scrunch your face up in response, but he'll press a kiss to your cheek afterwards to make up for it! hehe

The Smell of Plum Blossom Tea Ch 12

Summary: Just like a butterfly wing, a single act of kindness can change the course of the future, it certainly did for MK as a black furred monkey put out a hand towards him.

Rating: Teen and up

Chapter 12: Communication is Key

A soft melodic noise was playing in the air as Yanyu and Bohai entered the open clearing. Both blinked for a moment and then a grim expression overtook them as they saw the rest of their friends with the same nervous looks.

“Okay, what the fuck happened with Makkie and whose head do I need to bust open?” Yanyu asked everyone as they watched him play the Dizi as he sat down crossed legged on a tree branch with his tail lazily hanging.

“I don’t know,” Minsheng whispered as they peaked out from behind the tree.

“He’s been like this since we got in an hour ago,” Ahmed continued as his tail swished behind him.

“He didn’t react once,” Mei hissed as her fingers clenched her arm.

“Really?” The jellyfish looked astonished.

“Other than the flicker of his ears when he arrived, nothing,” Daiyu commented as her feathers puffed up.

“He only play this sad shit when he’s feels absolutely terrible and no one knows what the fuck happened?” The bluenette looked at everyone, only to get shakes of heads and denial again. “Damn.”

“I do,” their heads snapped towards a wincing MK as he held a pair of headphones in hand. “But it’s kinda a long story.”

“Last time he got like this was when he blacked out cause a literal firework got shot right next to his ear,” the bunny demon deadpanned, “and that was after already coming close to a breakdown when he thought he lost the two of you when you guys set off that curse.”

“So what they're trying to say MK,” Mei dragged her brother by the shirt and brought him close, “is telling us whose ass do we need to kick?”

“Don’t think you can fight against an immortal,” he winced.

It was Ahmed who got it first as he too winced, “I take it that it went very badly.”

“So much yelling and fighting,” he groaned.

“Wait who-fuck,” Mei eyes narrowed, “Macaque and Monkey King met didn’t they.” At the clarification, everyone winced. They might not have been there to see the fight go down but they have known the black furred monkey long enough for him to trust them on telling the two relationships with each other.

“Yeahhh.”

“Tell us everything,” the bunny demon said.

“Everything?”

“Everything.” They all said together.

“Then you might want to sit down for this, it’s gonna be a long story.”

“That no good little-”

“Of course they're both idiots,” Bohai sighed as he rubbed his head.

“-how dare he even say that!”

“Two monkeys, both immortal, both friends for a long time, and yet neither of them have developed proper communication,” Yanyu groaned as she too felt a headache coming along.

“I swear I’m gonna grab that head and-”

“Should just be glad that the mountain is still standing,” the lion tried to look on the brighter side despite his claws slowly emerging and retreating.

“It’s kinda sad that this is the best side of all of this,” the vulture said.

“-then after I shave all the fur I will use that razor and-”

“Yeah, it’s pretty bad,” MK wrung his hands together.

“I think bad is an understatement kiddy,” the rabbit demon then looked back at a fuming Mei. “You thinking of stopping anytime soon?”

“No!” The group can almost see the faintest of green in her eyes as it twitched. “There will be a skinned immortal monkey before the month ends!”

“Easy there breezy,” she felt her head forcibly, but gently, lowered by a warm fuzzy hand. “Don’t need to plot the demise of Wukong just yet.”

“Why nottt,” she whined as he looked up at Macaque. “He should learn that nobody messes with you without facing some consequences.”

“And I can do that myself,” he emphasized as he ruffled her hair, but she fondly slapped it away. “But do remember that I also said some things unwarranted too and I also didn’t try to deescalate the fight, so he's not at total fault here.”

“Still was part of the problem,” Minsheng pointed out.

“And also said some things he shouldn’t have said,” Yanyu couldn't help but say.

“True, but some of those things do hold some truth.”

“What part are you talking about?” MK blurted out in confusion.

“I know that I have changed, I can truthfully admit that, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t still have a lot of issues in general.” Back then he would have never admitted this to anyone, not even on his deathbed, but as the years pass and as the seasons go on, he knows that he can comfortably say all this to them without fear.

“There are many times where I still question myself and whether or not if this is me or if I wear a facade for so long that I became it, especially if I even deserve to be called a father,” he said that last part lowly to himself, but everyone heard it. But he didn’t take any notice of it as he continued. “Regardless though, I do know one thing for certain, I appreciate you trying to look out for me.” He smirked as he ruffled his two kids' hair.

They begrudgingly let him with a small smile on their face.

“We always do,” Bohai grinned.

“You do the same for us doc,” the bluenette slapped his shoulder. “Like that one time where you forced us to rest after that little incident.”

“You mean the time where you all decided it was a good idea to have a little fight in a bunch of unknown plants and then you all got sick?” He raised his eyebrow.

“That’s the one!” Both rabbit and vulture said with matching grins.

“Why did I become friends with you guys again?” He uttered for the nth time since he met them.

“For our glowing personality,” the big cat gave a deep chuckle as he wrapped an arm around his shoulder and nuzzled his fur as he gave a few long licks to Macaque long mane.

The first time he had ever done this to the monkey, he had chucked him clean across the treetops before it was properly explained to him. This is apparently done with not just cubs, but other lions or demons in the pride to form a closer connection and to provide comfort and affection. After that he begrudgingly let him continue the process, though he couldn’t help but cringe at the first few times.

“Alright, alright I get it,” he gently pushed the muzzle away from him. “Imma whip up some food, didn’t even realize how hungry I was until now. Does a hotpot sound good to you all.”

“I can already feel myself drooling,” Yanyu licked her lips.

“You should probably get that checked out then,” Mei jokes.

“That’s why we have the old man here for.”

“I don’t get paid enough for that,” he deadpanned.

“You don’t get paid at all,” MK supplied.

“No I do not,” was the last thing he said before he climbed up a tree and headed over back to the oversized treehouse.

“So we are gonna take down the Monkey King or at least plan some vengeance upon him, yes,” Bohai mused as he slightly glowed.

“Ohohoho, like you wouldn’t believe it,” Daiyu puffed up her feathers. “Imma about to hurt a monkey.”

“Count me in,” Mei said with an eerie twitching smile.

“May not be the strongest, but I know a few ways to immobilize a simian,” Minsheng muttered.

“I’ll get the hot glue and tacks. Nobody fucks with my teacher and gets away with it alive,” Yanyu took out her phone and began furiously typing.

“At ease everyone, try not to let your anger fester. We’re here for Mac right now,” Ahmed said with a low growl.

“Says the one growling,” MK inputted as his own hands twitched violently as he clutched onto the staff.

“Touché.”

Both Tang and Pigsy were watching Mei moodily chomp down on her noodles as she was furiously typing something down. They look to the other side and see that MK, who was on break, was steadfastly ignoring his cooling noodles as he was drawing something down in his notebook.

“Did they get into a fight?” The historian asked as he slurped down his food.

“Not that I know of,” the chef shook his head, “all I know is that MK came in like this and a little later girlie came in with the same mood.”

“We aren’t fighting,” Mei grumbled as she stabbed the chopsticks down onto the counter. “There is just an…issue that has occured.”

“Issue, that’s one word,” MK muttered.

“Just be glad I’m putting it lightly.”

“So, no fight?” Tang asked.

“No,” they both replied.

“Well that’s good at least…does it have to do with Red Son? I know that both of you were worried about him when he didn’t show, he called back yet?”

This brought the two back from their anger filled mind as the two twenty year old looked at each other, then back to Pigsy and shook his head.

“Nothing,” he sighed as he looked through his phone.

“Not even a text back,” Mei included.

“That’s weird, the three of you have been basically stuck by the hip since you all knew each other, wonder what could have happened?” Tang went into a questioning pose.

Mei leaned over to MK as the two other adults talked and quietly whispered, “you think it has something to do with his parents?”

“No doubt in my mind,” he whispered back. The two of them knew some things about his home situation, but that was all they needed to know that his parents were absolute garbage. “I’ll give him two more weeks, if we still don’t get a reply back then we bust in there and grab him.”

“And we should definitely phone the old man about this, at least this would take his mind off…well that,” the Dragon heiress said.

“How about we put that idea on hold for now,” he winced as she shot him an incredulous expression, “I think we can handle it.”

“Okay, you are so spilling why you don’t want to ask Macaque for help,” this isn’t the first time he tried to avoid asking the monkey for help. It’s been a slow gradual thing, but she had just now begun to pick up that MK was hiding something.

“Uhhhh well look at the time,” he nervously swallowed down his food in one gulp, after choking for a bit, and grabbed his keys and a few orders that were just made. “My break is over, no time to talk!”

“MK!” She yelled out as he rushed out of the store. “You will talk one way or another!”

“Oh I can’t hear you! Call you later!” He yelled out as he dived into the car, with the food still safely placed, and quickly drove onto the street.

“You little-!”

“Byeee!”

“I’m back!” He announced as soon as he landed on the mountain. He had taken a few days away from training and while he was still upset at Monkey King, he didn’t truly hate him nor was he even held a grudge against him. Though it probably didn’t help that Mei would evilly chuckle whenever she was typing or scraping another plan, he still winced at her seventh one. That one looked almost painfully brutal and humiliating.

Small frustration and irritation, yes. But not the kind that would overwhelm him and let it take absolute control. Besides he knew that wasn’t who the monkey really was, arguments can bring out the worst in someone, whether it’s true or not. But he still optimistically believes that those two can become friends again.

“Monkey Ki-WHOA!” He managed to brace for impact as he was almost knocked over as a bunch of monkeys came barreling into him from above. “Hey! Hey! It's good to see you all too.” He laughed as he tried to carry as many as he could.

“They missed you kiddo,” he looked to the voice behind him and saw the Monkey King sporting a wide grin as he sat upon his cloud. “They wouldn’t stop talking about missing their playmate.”

“Awww,” he cooed as he hugged the ones in his arms, “I missed you guys too.”

“We all did kiddo,” he smirked, but it did soften when he saw that there was no hostility or resentment in his student eyes.

“Well I guess I missed you too,” he gave an exaggerated sigh.

“I’m just a bit surprised that you came back, not that I didn’t think that you wouldn’t, but more along the lines of not wanting to see me again. But I mean who wouldn’t want to train with the great Monkey King,” he let a bit of his nerves leak out unintentionally.

“Well Dad always advocates for my choice, so I just chose to be here. Besides I just needed to cool off for a few days after all that,” he grinned widely as he bared his teeth. “I’m not giving up just yet.”

Wukong, who can now clearly tell that MK did share the same grin as Mac, couldn’t help but share his enthusiasm. “Well let’s freshen up your knowledge of the basics, I’m afraid you might have forgotten it all these past days.”

“I did not just sit around and do nothing these past couple of days, for your information!”

“What’s the problem with being lazy?” He smirked as he jumped off his cloud. “Nothing is wrong with that.”

“Oh there isn’t, it’s just that when you have a whole entire forest to watch out for when Dad is taking care of his patients, it gets a little crazy. Especially since the one who usually keeps an eye on things had to focus on another problem entirely or was not even there, except for BaBa. She’s the only reason why I haven’t tied all those idiots together in a knot,” he grumbled in the last part. It does get more than a little hectic in the forest, especially when there are so many creatures and demons all living in that same area no matter how big the boundaries may be. There will always be some sort of dispute between the clans and it’s usually the more neutral group, like Macaque, Ní, BaBa, Kappa, and even some of the faeries, to keep the relative peace. Will true harmony ever be attained? Ha! No, but the way they are living now is just perfectly fine to all of them. Despite the chaos, fights, and craziness in general, no one is truly upset over their homes.

“Oh, so he has patients,” he curiously prodded, “I didn’t think moo-Macaque would willingly subject himself to interacting with people.”

Before MK could tell him that he is technically true, he can tolerate them at best, they both were startled when multitudes of loud screeches burst their ears wide open as all the monkeys were howling and jumping either on the Monkey King or back on MK.

“What the-” Wukong was fast enough to dodge their grapple, but he thought best if he just waited for now as they didn’t seem to be angry from what he could tell from all their voices talking at once, rather…surprised?

“Yeah, I know Macaque?” MK answered one of the monkeys, who managed to stuff fruit in her sibling's mouth to shut them up. “He’s my dad.”

It was silent for only a moment before they all went wild as the ones that were previously on Wukong jumped over to him and began to screech.

“AHHHH!”

“AHHHH?!” He confusedly screamed as well as he couldn’t understand them all when they yelled like this and, well, he was sorely unprepared for what was happening and just decided to copy them.

“Why are you screaming!” Wukong turned to him in confusion.

“I don’t know! Wait!” He looked down to the bunch that were still screeching wildly, “Are you the same ones that took in my Dad back then?!”

He received violent nodding of heads and/or a screech in afrimation.

“AWESOME!” His eyes sparkled as he gained a mischievous grin, “Then that must mean you know all types of embarrassing things he did back then.”

They all shared the same grin as him. It has been a long time since they have seen their missing tribe member, intellectually they knew that he wasn’t around because of a dispute with their King. But they instinctively knew that their King had missed their mate for a long time now, and while some are a bit miffed that he has left, they all have deeply missed a member of their own. And now they have confirmation that not only is he alive, but he has taken in a new infant of his own?! This is a cause for a celebration.

One of the monkeys does turn to Wukong and gives him the stink eye as she glared at him for not telling them.

“Okay to be fair, I didn’t really expect it to happen,” he held up his hands in apology.

The stink eye intensified.

“And I’m sorry.”

The stare remained.

“And I’ll give you some of the sweet peaches.”

She was satisfied as she went back to picking through the child's hair. Maybe that would teach their King twice before not saying anything again…though she highly doubts it.

“But I’m surprised MK,” he casually watched the cute scene of all of the monkeys snuggling, playing, or just hanging all over his student body. “I didn’t know you could understand them.”

“Well I do have a demon monkey for a dad and I frequently talk to the ones in the forest,” he deadpanned.

“Yeah that makes sense,” he stretched his arms as he casually sat down next to him. “Speaking of forest he-you guys really live in the Plum Blossom Forest?”

“Yep!” He grinned as most of the monkeys finally decided to get off him and play around the area, the only one left was the one who glared at Wukong.

“Can you tell me more about it? I never visited there despite it popping up a couple hundred years ago.”

“Well I can tell you some, but dad knows that place like the back of his hand. He made it after all,” he absentmindedly said as he scratched the back of the monkey's head.

“He made it?” He emphasized his last point, “Are you talking about the forest?”

“Yup!”

“Why?!” And just when he thought he couldn’t be more shocked about his friend, life apparently throws him in for another loop.

“Well Ping-,” he paused and decided otherwise, “actually it’s kinda personal, way above my level.You should just ask dad about it when you have the chance.”

“Ping again,” he couldn’t help but mutter the name, “he must have been real special to Mac if you keep bringing it up.”

“Well I don’t know about special, but dad always says that he is just a regular human that just somehow doesn’t even blink at the most abnormal things that come his way, no matter how bizarre and crazy it may be,” he summarized.

“Must be some human then if he became so interested in him,” the Monkey King casually said as his tail silently moved back and forth just a bit quicker.

“Yup! Dad may never say it, but he really looks up to him and really is grateful for taking him in when he needed it the most,” he unknowingly blurted out, because right after he began to curse himself in his head over this as he froze. But before he could stutter out a flimsy question to redirect the focus away from the mess up he just created, he stilled once more as he felt a furry hand ruffle his head.

“I’m glad,” Wukong let a small grin envelop his face and he said nothing more.

MK took a few moments to process this and just nodded his head.

“Well I think we sat down for long enough,” the sage commented as he began to stand up. “I think it’s time we get to training. Are you ready?”

MK smiled as he let go of the monkey on his lap and jumped up. “I always am!”

“Mmmm I don’t think so I mean,” he held out a purple headband in his grasp, “you obviously forgot to keep watch of your surroundings.”

“My headband! Why is it always my headband!” He fumed and readied his stance for the chase.

“Like I always say, you can’t let your guard down,” and with that he jumped up and began to rapidly climb the mountain. “No matter what the situation may be.”

“We were having a moment!” He yelled out as he quickly followed behind him.

“With emotions? Ew, I’m allergic to that.”

“That’s not a thing!”

“Says you, I for one have been alive for far longer and I can see some things and experienced just as many, so obviously this is totally a thing that can happen.”

“I am a literal physician in training, I am literally learning under the same monkey who has seen and done just as much shit as you have!”

“And he would agree,” he chirped.

“No he would not!”

“Thanks again for the meal,” Pigsy said as he took a sip of his drink as he gently scratched Tang's head on his lap, “I may love to cook, but it’s nice not having to cook once in a while.”

“I feel you there,” Macaque gave a grin as he laid a blanket on both Mei and MK, who were passed out asleep on the couch. “When I am just swamped with work, I would just order some takeout and have one of my clones bring it here.”

“Don’t forget the tea,” Sandy added as he sipped his cup. “Also, are you sure you don’t mind us staying the night?”

“Please, I have more than enough rooms for everyone here and then some,” he waved him off as he spotted another letter on the counter and promptly tore it up and threw it in the trash after he saw what it was, “it’s no problem.”

“Junk mail,” the blue giant absentmindedly said.

“Heh, yeah it is,” he snorted in amusement for some reason as he sat down on the couch.

“So you really just helped the travelers out of spite cause of who they were running from?” Tang couldn’t help but jump back to their previous conversation they had on some of the stories Macaque had shared during his travels.

“Yep.”

“And not out of some benevolent goodwill to them?”

“Not really, I know first hand just how annoying a Yuki-onna, especially that bitch in particular,” he couldn’t stop the disgust in his tone.

“You know her?” Sandy asked.

“Unfortunately, let’s just say I was in the area one time during a snowstorm, cold and starving, did I meet her. She lulled into a false sense of security until I realized that I didn’t hear and then saw that I was half frozen. I got out of there so fast that I didn’t even contemplate my revenge until I could finally feel my feet again.”

“And what happened when you did meet again?” Tang questioned then raised his brow at the monkey's malicious grin.

“Well let’s just say that she dares not to show her face for a long time.”

“Meaning?” Pigsy was almost afraid to ask.

“I made her bald and used a special type of paint to make her skin purple, permanently,” he bluntly stated.

That actually made Sandy choke on his tea as both Tang and Pigsy busted out laughing at the image, though the historian did seem to be leaning more on the hysterical side.

“It shouldn’t be possible to leave a mark on a spirit skin unless it has dealt with tools to banish them, let alone ridding someone of their hair unless they can shapeshift?!”

“Goes to show what you know, I’ve been around quite a bit longer than you and trust me, we are well past the stage of simple banishing.”

“When did that happen? Who even thought of the idea?!”

He opted to say nothing, he wasn’t about to tell anyone that both he and Wukong created this after this one river spirit was getting on both of their nerves. They didn’t want to outright kill them, but to humiliate them enough to make them regret even showing their faces to the sky.

“Back to the merchants,” Sandy redirected the attention, “I know you also briefly mentioned that you helped heal them, have you been a physician for that long?”

“Give or take a couple of years.”

“So you really did go around healing others,” the historian amusedly said as he had broken from his previous hysteria.

Macaque rolled his eyes, “Just when I feel like it.”

“Now I’m curious, how did you decide to become a doctor in the first place?” Pigsy asked.

“Is it cause I sometimes look like either a teenager in their emo phase or too feminine?” He curiously asked. He had been mistaken for both before, though he guess it sometimes doesn’t help that he likes to paint his nails black or keep his mane long and wear feminine style clothing. He’s not complaining though, he didn’t really care about anyone opinion in the way he dress, clothing should not be biased to one gender and he feels good when he can wear whatever the fuck he want.

“No? Just curious,” though that does bring up some more questions on why he asked that.

“Just happened to learn it off of a human a few centuries back and it just didn’t stop,” he shrugged.

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“Well that’s a bit anticlimactic,” Tang pouted.

“Sucks to suck, but I can truthfully say that I have no regrets learning medicine.”

“Really? Even when things go sideways?” The gentle giant gently prodded.

“Those times are hard, but no no regrets. Especially since it helped bring MK to me,” he nostalgically smiled.

“How so?”

“Well I was actually out of bandages one day and went to the city to pick up some more and I decided to take my time walking back and then I saw him and the rest is history.” He can still remember just how small starlight was and just how tired, both physically and mentally, he was. If he closes his eyes, he can still draw out every scar, bump, bruise or rib that looked too harsh on his bright child. “He really brought a new spark in my life.”

“And you to him as well,” Sandy smiled.

Mac snorted and shook his head, “He would have still been his same kind, bright and enthusiastic self even without me.”

“Maybe, but I’m glad that he didn’t have to suffer for it,” the pig demon added. It may not be obvious at first glance, but there is a spark in both, hell even Mei, eyes whenever they see the other. He couldn’t tell if it was from relief, safety, comfort or all of the above, but just when they are with each other, everything seems to fall into place. “And besides, I think you did a damn good job raising him.”

Both demon and human nodded in agreement.

The monkey demon couldn’t help the small smile forming on his lips. Pigsy words may have been brief, but for some reason, he felt his lingering doubts and dread, that has been flooding his mind since the confrontation, ease up.

They all continued to quietly talk to one another as the night continued on as one by one they all slowly let the night air drift them off to sleep.

“It seems rather slow today,” Tang mentioned as he looked around the empty shop.

“You're telling me,” Pigsy muttered as he wiped down the already clean counter. “Not a single person nor demon stepped in since the lunch rush.”

“Which means less work for me,” the MK clone said as he lounged on the booth.

“Why I outta,” he said before Tang continued.

“That is a bit strange, but it’s not quite so bad,” he said with a coy smile.

“What is that supposed to me-” he was once more cut off as the historian surprised him with a long kiss on the lips. “Oh, I guess that’s not so bad,” he muttered when they came back for air and leaned in once more.

Unfortunately they were rudely interrupted when Mei and Sandy burst through the doors and closed it with a loud bang.

“GUYS! HE’S BACK!”

“GHA!” Tang was startled enough to fall out of his chair.

“What the-what's the big idea you guys!” Pigsy gripped the counter as he glared at them, but then it turned to confusion as he saw that both human and demon were strangely in disarray with their clothes torn and scratched on their bodies.

“Are you guys okay?” The historian asked when he too saw a good look at them.

“We have a huge problem!” Mei paused as she quickly closed the blinds and glanced out the window.

“Big problem!”

“What happened?! What’s going on?”

“Demon Bull King is back,” the pigtailed girl continued.

“What!”

“And his clones have been terrorizing everyone and destroying the city!” The blue giant continued as he patted the frazzled cat on his shoulder.

“WHAT!”

“It’s mad chaos out there,” she dramatically said, “even Mac is out there blowing those machines to bits, and trying to get people to safety, but it doesn’t seem like it’s gonna stop. Wait-,” she eyed the relaxed clone and her eyes twitched. “Please don’t tell me-”

“Training with the Monkey King,” Tang and Pigsy simultaneously said.

“Damn it!” She facepalm, “well we’re just gonna have to hold them off until he gets here.”

Everyone, except the clone, nodded in determination as they got prepared for the coming battle.

“I think we need a little wardrobe change, some of us more than others,” Tang said as he eyed both Mei and Sandy clothes.

“Tang, do you really think we have time for this?” The pink demon questioned.

“Oh honey,” his glasses glinted as he held up a needle and thread, “there is always time for a wardrobe change.”

“Eh why not,” Sandy shrugged.

“I’m done for it,” she grinned, “but make sure it’s cool.”

“One apocalyptic style clothes coming right up,” he eagerly said as he made quick work of all their clothing.

“We’re gonna die,” clone MK boredly said as he flipped through the magazine.

Pigsy couldn’t say anything as he sighed and continued to get the weapons.

You'll Always Have Me

Word Count: 3,925

    “So, Ari, excited for your big day off tomorrow?” Anna plopped her tray on the table, the red plastic rattling as she threw her leg over the bench.

    Catalina looked up from her sushi, raising a playful brow at the two meat lovers’ pizzas on Anna’s tray. Returning to her food, the woman said, “Yes, I am actually.”

    “No, you’ve only been raving about it for a week!” Lina shot a glare at Anne, who gave her a smug grin in response. She wasn’t wrong, though. Lina had been hyping herself up for this all week. It would be a day to have all to herself. No work, no house cleaning, nothing. She was free for the whole day.

    Cathy rested her chin on her palm, a knowing smirk on her face as she said, “She’s gonna spend it all day sleeping, you know that right?”

    A collective nod went around the table. Even Lina couldn’t deny that she’d sleep until noon. “I’ll sleep until one and then I’ll spend the rest of the day watching movies,” Lina said. “Me-time is all I need.” A small moment of silence fell over the group, before a tray was set down on Lina’s left. Rose scent drifted lightly into her nose and Lina’s chest warmed.

    “Sorry, the line was long,” Jane apologized, sliding in to sit beside Lina.

    “For yogurt?” Anne asked, looking up from Kat’s phone.

    “They don’t just have yogurt, Anne.” 

    As the group tucked into their food, Catalina began rethinking her previous statement. While, yes, she did want to spend some time to herself, there was a certain someone she really wanted to spend the day with. Casting a look to her left, Catalina noticed Jane sweep her blonde hair back over one shoulder, lifting her spoon and savoring her parfait. It was undeniably cute, to which it had no right to be.

    Lina was a woman of her word, and denying a crush was far beneath her. If she were in any other situation, she’d have asked Jane out by now. Problem is; Jane isn’t open. She’s been dating some guy named Henry for four years now. It sunk Catalina’s heart to see the sweet blonde around the pompous jerk.

    “So, we all know what Cath’s gonna be up to,” Kitty began, “anyone else have any fun plans?”

    “I finished my project for Monday,” Anna said nonchalantly. “I’m just gonna work on my wall tomorrow.” Kat brightened upon hearing that, leaning over to Anna with her classic kitty eyes. Anna chuckled and booped the younger woman’s nose. “Yes, you can come over and help.”

    After shoveling a forkful of salad into her mouth, Anne said, “I will be working out tomorrow. So, Lina, if you wanna join-”

    “Don’t call me Lina,” Catalina enforced, tightening her grip on her chopsticks and fixing a glare on the shorter woman. Anne raised her hands defensively, swallowing her mouthful.

    “Just know the offer’s out there.” Anne returned to eating, occasionally eyeing Lina suspiciously. Cathy chuckled, sending her cousin a knowing look.

    “Oh, yes! Lina, what are your plans for tomorrow?” Jane asked, placing a hand on Catalina’s arm.

    “Wait, how come she-”

    “Sleep and watch movies.” Lina interjected, ignoring Anne’s declaration. Turning to Jane with a soft smile, she continued. “It won’t be exciting, but it’ll be relaxing.”

    Jane nodded, a sweet smile on her face. It amazed Catalina how interested Jane could seem about anything. It wasn’t fake interest either. Lina could sit and describe paint drying and Jane would look at her with interest dancing in her wide, azure eyes.

    “What’re you gonna be up to, Janey?” Kit questioned, leaning on the table. “I’m sure Ari doesn’t wanna be alone all day.” The way she glanced at Lina was far too teasing to be accidental. The worst part about her crush was how apparently obvious it was. Anna and Cathy were the denser of the group, and they figured it out first.

    Jane’s smile faltered, and it turned anxious. She prodded her yogurt, nudging a blueberry around silently. Dread befell Lina as a tense silence fell over the table.

    “You’re kidding, right?” Cathy’s eyes were firm as she asked this, fixed on Jane solemnly. Anne did her best to hide her disappointment, hiding her face behind her curtain of hair. “I thought you were gonna drop him!”

    “I was.” Jane pushed her blueberry under the yogurt, refusing to meet her friends’ eyes. “I told him Tuesday, and he asked for another chance-”

    “And you gave him one?” Anna demanded, causing Jane to flinch. The red clad woman frowned and sat back down, folding her arms. Lina could understand her friend’s frustration. Jane had come to Anne’s on Monday night, sobbing about how she’d caught Henry sending texts to another woman, asking ‘what to bring’ and ‘Jane won’t know’. The group had had a talk that night, and Jane promised to stick it to Henry the next day.

    However, as per usual, Henry squirreled his way out of a break-up by promising to “make it up” with a date.

    “Look, he seemed really genuine,” Jane reasoned. No one missed how soft her voice had gone when Anna had raised her own. “If he gets too drunk tonight or makes an excuse to cancel, I’m dropping him. He hasn’t forgotten all week.”

    Lina’s heart clenched at Jane’s broken tone. She was convincing herself that Henry would show, rather than her friends. She hated hearing Jane’s attempts to salvage the tiny pieces of her relationship with Henry, but she hated putting Jane down even more.

    Placing a hand on the blonde’s, Catalina said, “Just be safe, okay? If anything happens, call us.” She fixed her gaze on Jane, trying to steady her breathing. As much as she hated it, the date was going to happen. She just had to be ready to catch Jane when it fell out.

    Jane widened her fingers. Not by much, but just enough for Lina’s fingers to brush in between. The action sparked warmth in the taller woman’s chest, and she watched Jane nod slowly. “Thank you, Lina,” Jane whispered. She looked up, azure eyes void. “May I excuse myself?”

    “Of course, querida,” Lina replied, shifting to allow Jane room to leave the table. The blonde gave her friend a tiny smile, before retreating to the restrooms.

    Upon looking back at the table, Lina noticed all her friends staring at her, dismay in their eyes. Cathy’s expression said it all, and Lina let her defeated sigh slip. There was no point in trying to fix the problem anymore. There had been a time when Lina would purposefully make plans ahead of Henry, or ask Jane to things first, which kept Henry at a safe distance. Her attempts had declined over the years upon seeing no improvement in their relationship.

    Anna laid a hand on Lina’s shoulder, to which the curly-haired woman simply nodded.

    Tomorrow felt much less exciting now.

    Lina had been right. She’d slept in until one on Saturday, and only got out of bed when her stomach growled at her for food.

    She slumped around her house in a hoodie and sweatpants. She had ordered take out for lunch, which she then had delivered to her flat. She’d never done that before, which made her realize why Anne loved lazy weekends.

    Lunch was followed by a short yoga session. Lina had picked up yoga in her second year of college. Sitting all day was awful on her back and joints, and she definitely didn’t get enough exercise from just walking to and from campus. Kat had suggested yoga, and Lina was rather impressed with the results it had. Her posture had improved and she no longer felt the need to fidget in her seat.

    “How’s the wall coming along?” Lina asked, face buried in her arms as she reached for her toes.

    Anna’s voice came through the phone. “It’s halfway done,” she answered. “There’s paint all over me, though, and Kat’s not helping.”

    “Excuse me!” Kit’s voice came from somewhere else in the room, making Lina chuckle. “It’s not my fault you put so much stuff where I can’t reach.”

    “Anyways,” Anna continued, “how’re you holding up? Being lazy must be so hard.”

    Lina sat up, letting out a breath of air. “I don’t know how Anne does it,” Lina replied, feigning exhaustion, before reaching down to her other foot.

    Anna laughed, disappearing from the screen as she continued painting.

    That call had lasted the hour Lina did her yoga. Anna had hung up when she and Kat ran out for food, waving bye. Lina rolled her mat up and tucked it away in the corner of her living room. With a final stretch to loosen herself up, she changed back into a hoodie and sweats.

    The next couple hours were spent napping and scrolling through her phone. A gentle rain had begun to fall, pattering on the windows. Lina checked her phone. 9:43. I should eat something.

    She headed for the kitchen and began rummaging for something to heat up. She pulled out a container of mac n’ cheese, shrugged, and popped it into the microwave.

    Wine goes with that, right?

    Looking back in the fridge, Lina took notice of the wine bottle. It wasn’t until she pulled it out that she realized something.

    This was the bottle Jane had given her for her birthday. It was a Spanish red wine, similar to what her abuela used to drink. Lina had tugged Jane into the tightest hug, thanking her over and over.

    As one memory of Jane took hold, more and more began to flood Lina’s mind. Memories of school musicals, dances, mall outings, amusement park trips. Every moment with Jane was held close to Lina’s heart, which was breaking with each memory remembered. The thought of her being held by that pig of man was worse than someone ripping Lina’s heart out.

    “I should check up on her.” She had gone to reach for her phone, before thinking better of it. No. I don’t wanna piss Henry off by texting during their date. While the thought of Jane on a date with Henry was far from pleasing, it was better than thinking about all the times Jane had looked at Lina as if she were the sun. Lina knew if her mind strayed to Jane, she’d be tense the rest of the night.

    Shaking her anxieties off, Catalina poured a glass of wine and waited for her food to finish heating up. She watched the rain drops race down her windows, the rain picking up outside.

    The microwave dinged and she pulled the mac n’ cheese out, hissing as the bowl burned her hands. Setting it down, Lina retreated to the living room to search Disney+ for a movie. She settled on Lady and the Tramp, placing the remote back on the coffee table.

    And no, not because it was Jane’s favorite.

    Lina ran back for her dinner, tucking her phone into her sweat pockets before carrying her bowl and wine out the living room. She reclined back on the arm of the couch, wine glass on the end table and bowl cradled in her lap.

    It was halfway through the movie when Lina felt something vibrate against her stomach. She groaned and dug around for her phone. She had just gotten into the perfect position where everything was stretched just right.

    She pulled her phone out, took one look at the contact, and her adrenaline shot up. She slid the green button and quickly held the phone to her ear.

    “Jane, what’s wrong?”

    There was silence on the other end, aside from rain and the faint sound of breathing.

    “Lina…”

    Catalina was already pulling her coat on with that one word. Jane had sounded shattered on the other end, her sniffles coming through the rain.

    “Stay right there, bebé,” Lina ordered. “I’m coming to get you. Where are you?”

    “Lina, I-I’m so sorry. H-He-”

    “Hush, querida, don’t speak,” Lina interrupted, grabbing her keys and hurrying out the door, forgoing the slides that sat at the door. “Are you home?”

    A choked sob echoed in the phone before Jane whispered, “Yes.”

    “Alright, hun, I’m on my way,” she assured. “Just stay on the phone, please.”

    A whimpered ‘ok’ was all she got to confirm Jane had heard. Catalina watched the rain smack off her window, and she gripped the steering wheel tighter. She could only assume two things, neither of which she wanted to dwell on. Jane’s broken tone was already enough for Lina to rip the steering wheel right off the dashboard.

    “Don’t worry, Jane, I’m almost there,” Lina murmured, taking the turn at the intersection.

    It was a fight to not go over the speed limit, to which she was already surpassing. All the while she spoke words of comfort into the phone, Jane’s sobs echoing in her ear.

    She pulled to a stop in front of Jane’s apartment complex, and through the heavy downpour, she took notice of a petite blonde. Lina leapt from her car, hurrying to Jane’s side. She was seated under the small overhang of the building, but she was absolutely drenched.

    Mascara ran down Jane’s cheeks in rivers, the rain water spreading it over her face. Her blonde hair, which Catalina could only assume had once been wavy and conditioned, was soaked and mattered. Blonde strands plastered to Jane’s face, and her chin quivered as she forced back tears.

    “Oh, cariño,” Lina gasped, taking notice of Jane’s dress. “Usaste el nuevo.”

    A sob broke through Jane’s lips and she buried her face in her hands. Lina knelt down, gently pulling the blonde to the ground, and tucked the sobbing woman into her chest. Jane’s hands fisted into Lina’s coat instantly, and she cried into her friend’s neck.

    “Oh, Lina, I-I’m such an idiot!” Jane cried, knuckles jabbing into Catalina’s chest. “I should’ve listened to you! You were right; you were all right! I’m so stupid!”

    “No, no, querida,” Lina soothed, pressing Jane closer to her body. “You’re not stupid, never say that.”

    Jane shook with another sob. “B-But if I had just listened to you-” Jane paused to sniff, another sob choking out. “I-If I had just dropped h-him like you said, then you wouldn’t have to be h-here in the rain with me.”

    “Jane, no.” Lina sat back, holding Jane back to look her in the eyes. “It doesn’t matter what day it is, nor the weather. I’d come to you in a blizzard on foot if you needed me.” Shrugging out of her coat, Lina pulled the garment over Jane’s shoulders and pulled her in. “Now, how about you come with me? I have wine.”

    Another sniffle followed by a nod against her chest was all the confirmation Lina needed. She took Jane’s hands in her own, helping her to her feet. Catalina pulled the coat over Jane’s head while she opened the car door.

    Holding the door open, Lina helped Jane duck into the car. Once she was situated, Lina ran to the driver’s side and quickly dove in. The rain was pounding the roof of the car, the window being splattered with drops faster than the wipers could clean them.

    Jane was shivering in the seat, clutching Catalina’s coat tight to her body. Lina’s heart sank and she offered her hand to the woman. The blonde took it immediately, silent tears still flowing down her cheeks. The drive home was silent, golden eyes fixed ahead while azure focused down, hands intertwined.

    Lina scooped Jane out of the passenger seat, carrying her to the door and setting her down only to open the door. Jane kept her face tucked into Lina’s neck until they reached the bathroom.

    “Let’s get you cleaned up, yeah?” Lina whispered, cupping Jane’s sticky cheeks. Jane nodded weakly and Lina began searching for the make-up wipes.

    She pulled the wipes out and gently swiped it over Jane’s cheek. The blonde tensed, but slowly relaxed into the movements. Lina tossed the now-black wipe and pulled another out. This time, when she wiped Jane’s cheek, Lina felt her press into her touch. Her cheeks warmed with a pink dust, and she was thankful for Jane’s shut eyes.

    “Do you want to get a shower?” Lina gently brushed Jane’s arm, noting the goosebumps trailing up her skin. Jane nodded again, and Lina pulled a white towel out from under the sink. “You’re favorite color.”

    A tiny, watery smile tugged at Jane’s lips, and Lina mentally patted herself on the back. “I have an extra loofa in there, it’s the black one, and you can use my body wash and stuff.”

    She moved to leave the bathroom, when Jane let a small noise escape. Lina looked back and her heart melted at the sight of Jane brushing through her wet hair. “C-Can you wait outside? I don’t want to be alone…” Her voice drifted off towards the end, and Lina returned to her friend’s side.

    Taking Jane’s small, shivering hand in her warm ones, Lina looked sincerely into Jane’s eyes. “I’ll be just beyond the door, alright? You can shout to check.”

    Jane’s eyes softened, and a new emotion flickered in them. Lina slowly released the blonde’s hand and retreated from the bathroom.

    She stood outside of the bathroom for the entirety of Jane’s shower.

    Not once did Jane check if Lina had stayed.

    The bathroom door creaked open, and Lina stood up from the wall. Jane stepped close to her, wrapped in the towel. Her hand brushed Lina’s, and the taller woman took it gently. “I have a fresh load of laundry in my room,” she said, leading Jane to her bedroom. “I’ll get you something warm.”

    Lina found a sweater and pair of sweats that would hopefully tie tight enough for Jane. She left the blonde to change, and her jaw nearly hit the floor when she came back in.

    The sweater fell down to Jane’s mid-thigh, hanging off one shoulder. Lina’s face flushed and she coughed into her hand, attempting to hide her gay panic. Stop it. Jane needs you. Swallowing, Lina stepped into the room. “How’re you feeling?”

    Jane looked down, bringing her hands up to clutch her forearms. “Better, I guess,” she mumbled. Her drying blonde hair fell over her face in a curtain.

    Lina made her way towards the blonde. She placed a gentle hand on the small of Jane’s back. Suddenly, arms looped around Lina’s neck and tugged her in. Jane’s nose brushed the column of her throat, causing a blush to spread up the taller woman’s cheeks.

    “Thank you, Lina,” Jane whispered, voice tight. Lina smiled, wrapping her arms around Jane’s waist and setting her chin on her head.

    “Anytime, mi querida,” Lina murmured.

    They ended up on the couch, Lina reclined against the armrest once more with Jane cuddled into her side. Both nursed a glass of Spanish wine, eyes fixed on the TV. Lina threw occasional looks towards Jane, checking to make sure the blonde was okay.

    In truth, Lina wanted to ask her exactly what had happened. Jane was always down after dates with Henry, but never was she so upset to the point of crying. Taking a sip of her wine, Lina turned her gaze on Jane. “Do you want to talk about it?”

    Jane took a long sip of wine, lips remaining pressed to the glass. Lina bit her lip and set her glass down. “You don’t have to,” she added. “I just think it’d be best if I knew a little.”

    “No, you’re right,” Jane said, clutching the neck of her glass. “You deserve to know.”

    Lina set her hand on Jane’s shoulder, pulling her a bit closer. “Jane, I’m always gonna be here for you, alright?” She fixed her eyes on the blonde. “If you’re not ready to talk, that’s perfectly okay. I just want to know at some point.”

    Jane nodded, taking a small sip from her wine. Silence followed, to which Lina picked up her own glass and returned to watching the movie. If Jane didn’t want to share, that was fine with her. She’d wait for years if that’s what Jane needed.

    “He left me there.”

    She nearly choked on her wine, spitting it back into the glass. Jane looked at her with worried eyes, placing a hand on her side. Lina set her glass down and sharply turned to face Jane. “He what?”

    Jane bit her lip, averting her eyes from Lina’s. “He said he’d pick me up at nine,” Jane said. Her voice was tight with sadness and underlying anger. “He promised me. He kept telling me all week that it’d be great.” She faltered, staring down at her drink.

    Lina’s dread was replaced by rage. Jane had sounded so sure that Henry would make it up to her. She sounded far from excited, but she was hopeful. Even Lina had a tiny spark of hope that Henry would make an effort for Jane. But he hadn’t even bothered to show up!

    “I should have listened to you.” Jane sounded defeated, her fingers tapping the glass. “I guess that’s one thing he was honest about. I really am an idiot.”

    Lina slid off the couch and took Jane’s hands, holding them to her chest. “Jane Seymour, you listen to me.” She waited until Jane’s azure eyes met her golden ones. “You are a wonderful woman. You’ve been my dearest friend all my life, and I would rather freeze hell over than listen to you speak horrible things about yourself. You are such a kind woman, with a heart undeserving of the cruelty in this world.

    “You are not an idiot, and I will keep telling you this until you realize it’s true.” Lina moved her hands to cup Jane’s face, brushing her cheek lightly. “So please, all I ask of you, is to remember how truly remarkable you are; both inside and out.”

    Jane’s eyes glittered with tears, small streams glistening down her cheeks. She cupped one of the hands on her cheeks, pressing into it as she nodded. Lina smiled softly, stretching forward onto her knees to touch her forehead to Jane’s.

    “You’re so kind to me,” Jane murmured, a watery smile appearing on her face. Lina chuckled and kissed the blonde’s forehead.

    “Only ever for you.”

    The soft look of trust that flushed over Jane’s eyes, along with the tiny giggle, was enough to melt Lina’s heart. She pulled herself back onto the couch, and giggled as Jane snuggled back into her. As Jane’s head settled beneath Catalina’s chin, the blonde whispered, “Thank you, again, Lina. For everything you’ve done.”

    Lina pulled the blanket over the two and held Jane close. “I’ll always be here for you, querida.”

    The two stayed close, cocooned in the blanket as the Disney movie carried on quietly. Lina melted into Jane’s presence, burying her nose in soft blonde hair. She felt Jane smile against her neck and Lina placed another kiss on the crown of Jane’s head.

    “I love you, Lina.”

    Jane’s breath tickled Lina’s neck as she spoke. Her words sent goosebumps up Lina’s skin, but she replied without hesitation. “I love you, too, Jane.”

    And though she knew they both meant different things, one of platonic origin and the other romantic, Lina knew that Jane meant it. That she loved Lina as much as she loved Jane. And that was enough to make her forget about destroying Henry.

🦄 i know there are fics with hotch and food and how he eats bland food but also the guy puts jalapeños in his omelettes. do u think likes flavorful cuisines? he also does seem to only make bland foods for jack (mac n cheese, pancakes). which could be a kid's thing but could be a white thing like i wouldn't know lmaoo (come on, asian to asian, tell me to my face you weren't eating flavorful foods at a young age). like i dunno, hotch is such an inconsistent character. at one point im p sure he stopped eating bc he literally looked so gaunt on screen. but in the same ep he shows that he knows how to cook (or at least sautee onions lmaoo) AND organized a team cooking lesson. or maybe this is just me obsessing over all the hotch/garcia scenes bc they're one of my fave pairs and she always brings out the colorful sides of him.

this is also just me being annoyed at reid's character bc one of the trope i hate most is white guy knows more about minority things than the actual minorites. like somehow the guy knows korean but can't use chopsticks? also his pronunciation of korean phrases is horrid and i just hate the trope so much bc white ppl always butcher asian things and they always use asian cultures/aesthetics as props. like haha look at how smart i am, i can translate this korean movie for u in realtime. and him speaking over the kid at the reservation rubbed me in the wrong way like stay in your fucken lane, whiteboy. just bc u read books doesn't mean you understand anything at all and im really glad hotch called him out on that. i mean the same thing happened with the ep on african religions (which was not sensitively done might i just say). like i get he's a genius and he likes to read but what good is that booksmart if he just ends up being an asshole irl. so many of his "look im a genius and im cultured" end up being throw away lines and this show is already super white which makes the treatment of those lines seem even more insensitive. like does he know most of his genius comes a lot from his privilege of being a white male. i dunno, his character is just so annoying to me and ive said it before: garcia does the whole genius thing better and she isn't even half as annoying about it (even if she's white lmaoo).

Okay, so Hotch probably does enjoy trying new foods and different things but he’ll just give Jack bland things because he’s white and doesn’t want to destroy Jack’s taste buds, even though he would be fine. (Yep, I was definitely eating things I probably wasn’t old enough too as a younger child)

I reckon after Foyet there was only so much he could stomach which is why his choices went bland and after Pakistan he was probably so anxious, stressed and sad that he just couldn’t stomach anything without feeling nauesous.

I LOVE HOTCH AND GARCIA SO MUCH!!!! “Don’t call me honey.” is one of my favourite scenes with the two of them.

OH I KNOW! I get that the show came out in the early 2000s and all that, but if they really cared, they could have had an Asian character. Okay he can’t use chopsticks, but they should have just either a) left other peoples cultures alone or b) done it properly by actually doing research and having the team be like: Oh so I learnt this but obviously, I am white.

I’m gonna be honest, I do not remember the episode with African religions and I’m not sure I want to remember. I just feel like the writers should have made it that Reid has knowledge on other cultures but lets the people who are actually part of them speak and listens instead of having him every two minutes flaunt the fact that he’s a genius.

Because what I want to know is, if Reid had been an ethnic man, a white woman, or an ethnic woman, would the intelligence have been praised the way it was or would it have just been an expectation?

I’m fairly neutral towards canon-Reid I’m like: Yeah okay, cool. There’s a particular subsection of the fandom where I’m like: GUYS! REID IS A GROWN ASS MAN YOU CAN’T BLAME EVERYTHING ON OTHER PEOPLE!! And I also think basing your like of a character off what they say to Reid is kinda unfair because I will put my hands up and say I probably would ask how he happens to know stuff and not always be able to keep up with what he’s saying because I just couldn’t.

Garcia is the best. Absolutely love her!

Partners - Part 8: The Breakthrough

Rating: T

Pairing: DickBabs

Summary:  Looking for ways to take down corrupt Chief Redhorn, Dick and Barbara make a surprising discovery. My DickBabs police officers AU.

You can also read this chapter at AO3 or start from the beginning on my blog

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Over the course of the next weeks, their regular jobs and their work for the Circle claimed most of Dick and Barbara’s time. While they were making good progress building their case for the feds, there was still one thing missing - even with their combined efforts, they had not yet managed to get anything substantial on Chief Redhorn himself.

“As long as we have nothing to charge Redhorn with, we can’t make our move,” Amy had explained in their last meeting with a grave mien, “it’s too dangerous - by the time something might come up to indict Redhorn as well, he could have figured out who supplied the FBI with the info necessary to take down his cronies and knowing him, he will have made some ‘arrangements’ so that won’t ever happen again - and frankly, I’m not willing to take these chances.”

Barbara’s “digital hunting expeditions” hadn’t yielded anything of interest either.

“Ugh,” she’d grumbled irritably after yet another attempt that left them with nothing to show for but an evening wasted,”this is pointless; Redhorn is of the old school - probably does everything face-to-face that isn’t already well-established in this syndicate he has been building up since the 90’s! He probably doesn’t even know that his computer has a calendar function!” 

Barbara had closed her laptop with a huff.

“If we want to get our hands on some incriminating evidence, we’re gonna have to track down some good old-fashioned paper trail - and finding that is going to require a freaking miracle.”

***

“Hey, remember that miracle you mentioned a week ago?”

Barbara looked up from her laptop, her previous frustration from another pointless try morphing into confusion, “uh-huh?”

She looked at the bags with their takeout in Dick’s hand, amused: “Why, did you find our miracle while getting Chinese?”

“Maybe,” Dick replied, visibly excited.

“How so?” 

Barbara stowed away her laptop in the compartment of the coffee table, while Dick was setting up their food on the table top.

“Well, I actually dropped by Hogan’s before getting our food and he told me something that could be a potential lead,” Dick explained, handing Barbara some chopsticks and her dumplings before plopping down on the couch.

“Spill.”

“Well, Hogan’s heard some rumors of Redhorn being in a pretty bad mood recently and that he seems to be on a pretty relentless search for someone…”

Barbara’s heart lurched. 

“Well, that doesn’t sound exactly good for us, does it?”

“That was my first thought as well,” Dick admitted honestly, taking a bite of his spring rolls. “However, according to what Hogan picked up, it seems to be related to something or someone super personal to Redhorn - apparently Mac Arnot complained about getting told off for asking “too many damn questions”; and well, as you know, Arnot always prides himself on being all chummy with our dear Chief.”

“Ugh, terrible sycophant that man.” Barbara said, her disgust displayed plainly on her face.

Dick let out a chuckle.

“You don’t have to tell me twice - he was actually enrolled at the academy at the same time as me; despite rarely attending our lessons, he surprisingly managed to start off his career as an inspector, which is not even an official position at the BPD - but we’re getting off the track here. The real question is: Who is Redhorn looking for? If he’s that secretive about their identity and connection to him that he won’t give plain orders and explanations to his lackeys, it must be someone really close to him…”

Dick trailed off with a knowing look in his eye, clearly creating a pause for dramatic effect as he was preparing to drop a bomb on her.

Barbara couldn’t help rolling her eyes fondly.

Always with the theatrics.

She gestured for Dick to move on, almost dropping the dumpling that was wedged between the chopsticks she was holding in that same hand.

“Well, it’s conjecture, but Hogan remembered that, way back, when he was still in harness, there had been rumors of Redhorn having gotten married- what if he’s looking for his wife?!”

“His wife?” Barbara echoed, surprise evident on her face. In her mind, she combed through the scarce information she had gone over during her research, but she drew a complete blank on the chief’s marital status. To be fair, she hadn’t considered nosing around in such private, familial matters (she might act as an information broker, but she was no creep) and Redhorn didn’t exactly strike her as husband material or a family man, but now that she was looking back on it, the complete lack of information on his marital status was kind of odd-

“Now that you mention it, I don’t recall having seen any information on Redhorn’s marital status whatsoever,” Barbara said carefully.

She noticed the excited spark in Dick’s eyes.

“At the very least, it sounds suspicious, doesn’t it?”

Barbara nodded, “Definitely worth checking out.”

“Of course,” Dick mused, clearly trying to rein in his excitement over this new potential stepping stone in their investigation, “even if Redhorn is looking for his wife, there is still the question of why - has she been kidnapped by other criminals who could be blackmailing him? Has she simply left him and he’s trying to get her back?” He gestured vaguely, as if to illustrate the endless possibilities.“But my point is, if Redhorn is married, his wife could potentially have information that could be useful to us.”

“Well, how useful that could end up being for us really depends on how attached she is to her husband,” Barbara pointed out, “she could invoke marital privileges and refuse to testify against her husband even if she knows of his wrongdoings... If she wants to leave him, however, she might be more inclined to help us…”

Dick nodded, a grin on his face: “Should that hypothetical wife exist, that is.”

Barbara chuckled, already shoving the half-empty take out container to the side to make space for her laptop.

She snatched her computer from the table’s compartment, opened the lid, and booted it up: “Let’s find out, shall we?”

***

Now that she knew what she was looking for, it didn’t take Barbara long to unearth the sought-after information:

“Here we go: 23 years ago, Delmore Redhorn, age 31, married Mary Wallmer, age 20, in a private ceremony in the small fishing town of Snug Cay-” a few clicks on her touchpad and a couple of strokes of her keyboard later- ”Mary was born and raised in Snug Cay, born to Albert and Lucille Wallmer, recently deceased, no siblings.”

Barbara’s eyes raced over the texts and documents, sifting through them for relevant information.

“While in high school, Mary worked at the nearby summer camp as a counselor. After high school, she enrolled in an office course to train to become a secretary… Then worked as a secretary for a small housing firm in Blüdhaven for a while… until the owner of the firm was assaulted and shot dead in his office in broad daylight, with Mary right in the next room.”

Barbara felt Dick next to her shudder. What she read next did nothing to allay her own contempt for the perpetrators of this crime:

“Apparently, the firm had had a few properties over at Avalon Heights, in Freddy Minh’s territory, something the mobster hadn’t appreciated.”

Dick let out a sound of disgust.

Barbara read on: “First responder to the crime was a certain Officer Delmore Redhorn… the wedding took place six months later.”

Scrolling through the data, Barbara tried to find any other entry of employment for Mary. Nothing.

“Doesn’t look like Mary took up another job after that.”

“Not that surprising, considering...”

“From the wedding onward, there is very little info on Mary herself… hmm, a nearly dormant facebook account, maybe that’ll yield something later… oh, wait, here’s something!”

Barbara’s eyes widened.

“Oh.”

When no further elaboration followed, Dick shifted closer, trying to catch a glimpse of what she was staring at.

“What’d you find?!”

Barbara moved the laptop so Dick could get a better look at her screen: “A birth record.”

Looking up from the screen, Dick looked at her uncomprehendingly: “So?”

“It’s not Mary’s birth record - it’s from thirteen years ago; it’s the birth record of her son.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“And the father?”

Barbara tapped her screen, “Redhorn.”

“Huh.”

“Yup... A wife and a son would definitely qualify as “close connections”, don’t you think?”

Dick grinned: “Kinda.”

Barbara smiled back, buzzing with excitement, now that this angle opened up a whole new perspective.

“Give me another hour to figure out whether this is connected to Redhorn’s troubles,” Barbara declared confidently, about to dig deeper into the piles of data ready at her fingertips. She paused briefly, looking at Dick, who had moved to the edge of the sofa, about to get up, “would you-”

“- put on some coffee?” He finished her sentence for her, smiling.

”Way ahead of you.”

***

About one hour and two cups of coffee later, Barbara was ready to present Dick with the findings of her latest cyber expedition:

“Okay, so let me show you this online chat: It’s mainly frequented by well-to-do middle class moms in the Gotham-Blüdhaven-area and their exchanges are mostly a mix of discussions on the deficits and benefits of local schools, challenges of achieving a good work-life-balance, complaints about their unruly offspring, and tips on where to find an excellent yoga instructor - but one thread stood out among the rest: A concerned user talking about how the recurring rumors of corruption in the police department and mayoral office are worrying her because she’s afraid her husband could be wrongly accused of being “mixed up in such dreadful things”. The user name? SnugCayfish78.”

Dick let out a whistle.

“Sounds like you’ve struck gold.”

Barbara grinned triumphantly: “Right? And there is more, my friend… Aside from recurring mentions of her concerns, SnugCayfish78 also dropped this bomb two weeks ago:

“He doesn’t tell me much of his work (I know that he doesn’t want me to worry), but I can tell that ever since another of his subordinate officers was arrested, something is weighing heavily on my husband… If only there was a way for me to ease his burden. Has anyone any ideas? Maybe the social calendars I’ve been keeping all these years will finally come in handy! Being able to show that my husband has only ever been in contact with the upstanding members of the public that have been so deeply invested in building up the Blüdhaven we know and love now, must certainly prove that my darling would never associate with such dishonorable policemen that are involved in corruption! Hopefully, this will be enough to lay my husband’s worries to rest.”

… and that’s the last entry from this account. Coincidentally, that is also the date Redhorn’s son posted his last picture on instagram.”

Dick gave her a meaningful look.

“Sounds to me like Mary just realized that her husband might not have been some innocent bystander in the sea of corruption that makes up Blüdhaven’s elite and decided to go underground. As an added bonus, Summer break started last week, so even if Mary just grabbed her son and left, there’s no danger of inquiries from school.”

“Would fit with what we have found out so far,” Barbara agreed, “of course, there is still the question of what Mary’s planning on doing with the information she has at hand and what Rehorn’s planning to do once he finds her…”

Dick hummed in agreement, a thoughtful expression on his face.

“Considering how her entire world view has been turned on its head, she probably doesn’t even know what to do now that she has discovered her husband’s vest is anything but squeaky clean,” he reasoned,”but maybe she’d be open to handing over this evidence she’s kept unintentionally all these years.”

“Maybe,” Barbara agreed, “nothing I have found suggests that Mary had been involved in Redhorn’s illegal activities in any way; I guess she was truly ignorant of them until now. As for Redhorn - keeping in mind how he appears to be unwilling to deploy his goons in the “usual” manner, I guess we can assume that he actually does care about Mary and doesn’t want her and their son to get hurt… That being said, I have no idea whether his love for them wins out over his sense of self-preservation,” she finished grimly.

Dick nodded, steely determination displayed openly across his features: “Which is exactly why we need to be the ones to find her first.”

“Agreed.”

“You think you can find Mary and their son before Redhorn does?”

Barbara gave Dick a confident smile: “Even if Mary was a Luddite like her husband - she’s in hiding with a teen; I’ll find them, don’t you worry.“

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

to be continued.... here.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Notes:

Nightwing #33: Mac Arnot talks to Dick in the cafeteria of the police academy and Dick finds out that they are supposedly in the same class although he hasn't seen Arnot attend any of his classes; Arnot just shrugs it off, explaining that he's "kinda advanced"

Nightwing #42: Chief Redhorn makes Mac Arnot an Inspector (based on shifty recommendations), while Dick gets turned down when applying for a job at the BPD

Nightwing #47: Chief Ebersol (who was appointed Chief while Redhorn took off for some time, hiding from Blockbuster, I think) points out that the BPD doesn't have an official position of Inspector, while Arnot lets Ebersol know that *he* will be running things in the background until Redhorns gets back... oh and he vaguely threatens Ebersol's family (I flipping hate Arnot, ugh)

Nightwing# 71-74: Mary Redhorn (née Wallmer) is important in this story arc; she's Redhorn's wife and is from Snug Cay (although they got married 33 years ago in the comics), Dick followed her all over Europe when police and Blockbuster's goons were coming after her for having a journal that detailed Redhorn's social contacts with plenty of questionable characters; in the comics, Mary's just super naive and probably wanted to use this journal to clear his name, having no idea how closely her husband was entangled in the corruption that is running rampant in Blüdhaven - I wanted to make Mary a little less clueless and give her a bit more agency/motive by having her be protective of a son that I made up

Nightwing #59: Dick wants to drop by Freddy Minh's in Avalon, only to find that Freddy Minh has been dead for some time, his empire now run by his wife, Madame Minh (I assume Chuck Dixon is referring to Avalon Heights and not Avalon Hill, because Avalon Hill is on the outskirts of Blüdhaven, basically in the middle of nowhere, whereas Avalon Heights is situated a bit more centrally, with access to some docks, according to the map in Nightwing Secret Files and Origins #1)

🎬 About Me

Original art of me and my fictional hubby, Ukai Keishin, by @achieve-the-sun​, posted with permission. 💕 

Hi there!

My name is Nin and I am the founder of Crushzone Cinema Theater. 📽 🍿 

🎬 THE BASICS

Age: 23

Birthday: December 24th

Pronoun: She/her

Education: Graduated with a dual degree in Film and Global History

Occupation: Is currently a film freelancer in the camera department, who desperately needs money to pay rent every month lol.

Likes: 

- The sound of rain tapping on my window

- Watching my plants rise and droop to the moving sun

- Cooking and experimenting with different cuisines; Japanese, Thai and Chinese are some of my favorites.

- Giving my husband and my cat their head rubs every night.

- Drawing, painting, and photography. (Here’s some of my works!)

- The feeling of accomplishment after you’ve gone through SO much for a project with your peers. To work on your own movie or short film, and finally seeing it done, is such a rewarding experience.

- To eat my Mac and Cheese with ketchup, nutritional yeast, and steamed broccoli. (Fight me lol. 🦖 )

- Eating chips with chopsticks.

- Medjool dates with a spoonful of crunchy peanut butter 😋 

-Wearing oversized clothes, especially hoodies.

- Sitting at my reading nook, with my cat next to me on the chair.

Dislikes: 

- The buzzing sound bees make when they fly.

- Slipping on my own chunk of hair on the ground; I have a lot of hair and I shed a lot.

- The heat, I may be from Thailand, but I am very much done with the blaring heat. One second I’ll look real cute with my face all done up, but the moment I step out, it’s already melting from my face.

- Going to sleep; there’s SO much more I could be doing right now!

- When my bangs desperately need a trim and is poking my eyes.

- Poor lighting, doesn’t matter if it is real life, just light it like you’re IN a film!! It’s so much more dramatic that way! (For real, come to my house, every corner is lit with some sort of a look/mood 😏)

- Loud noises; when people are yelling all the time, or something is loud, I get nervous when I can’t hear my own thoughts.

- People with bad attitude, a temper, or is just kind of mean in general. There is absolutely no excuse for you to be that way, and nothing productive comes out of it. Nuh-uh.

🎬 FUN FACTS

My parents hired a piano teacher when I was in elementary school, but because I didn’t enjoy her company (for some reason), I refused to absorb information. Little did I know, it would backfire me and would have absolutely no effect to her pay.

I’m that kid who always has 4 spare pencils and 5 erasers to lend out to my peers.

Will serenade to my cat every morning and night, so if you are ever my roommate, I apologize for my horrible singings.

Performed as a cave and pot in my high school production, and lemme tell ya, it is more difficult than it sounds.

Has no problem doing laundry in the morning, but the moment the sun falls, I will be too afraid to go down into my basement to do it. Some may say that it is an excuse for me to put laundry off for the next day, but I always tell my husband that there’s a “Babadook” in there. 👀

One time I stepped on a millipede, and I cried for 2 days because I felt really bad for it.

I’m actually VERY shy most of the times, so if you see me laughing a lot like a hyena, then it’s likely that it’s just me being awkward. OR I may just be having a good time, who knows.

I’m awful around kids, I am SO awkward and will stiff up like a rock (if you see me doing that, pls come safe me). One time this kid asked me why I laugh so much, so I simply just laughed some more while backing out of the room slowly. 🤦‍♀️ 

🎬 SOME FUN QUESTIONS!

What is something you wish you were gifted at doing?

I wish I could sing. My husband is a musician, and it looks like he’s having so much fun. There’s just something so freeing about it, as if it’s another language that takes time to become fluent in, but when you are, it’s so captivating and expressive. I don’t think I’m an awful singer, but is just too incredibly shy to sing in front of others. 

What is the first movie you remember seeing in theater?

It may had been Disney’s Dinosaur (2000), not sure. All I remember was that there were a bunch of dinosaurs on screen, may had even been 3D with those glasses.

At one point, a tiger jumped at the screen, and I started crying. My mom and brother wanted to finish the movie, so my dad had to sit outside with me, until it was over. It was chill tho, my dad was teaching me different dinosaur names. 👶 🦖 🦕 

What is the first thing you do when you get home?

Pants off, baby!! I don’t usually wear a bra, but if do, then I guess it’s bra’s off first. Then I instantly hop into my plaid boxer shorts hehee. 🤭 

What has been the hardest thing for you to face or learn?

That people go through different stages of their life at different paces, and that is totally okay. When I was younger, I would always overwork, and as a result, I don’t really have a lot of time for myself. I did that, mostly, because I wanted to get a head start at everything, especially at my career. Now that I am 23-24, and had just graduated from Class of 2019, I’ve been getting film gigs since I was a sophomore, and is now a full time freelancer. 

Yet, I was not satisfied, because I got to work with a 21 y/o in a position that was under her, and it made me feel momentarily incompetent; like I wasn’t doing well enough. But it will never be enough if that’s the mindset; I never considered that she skipped university and went straight into film, so circumstances were entirely different.

Meanwhile, there’s someone 10+ years older than me who is struggling to get the work I’d get, and that is okay too. What I should’ve done is feel happy for her, and use that to motivate myself to improve.  As long as I never give up, and continue to do my best with a good attitude, everything will be just fine.

If you could give your younger self any advice what would it be?

That it’s okay to take a break sometimes, live life a little, and cherish all the happiness, sadness, heartbreak, and struggles that you are going through right now. Every tear will make you stronger, and genuine every smile will eventually pull you through. 

Time goes by very quickly, and every stage in your life is a part of you, so make sure you remember how you get to where you are well.

Do you see the glass as half empty or half full?

Half full, just grateful that there’s any liquid in the glass at all, and is excited to acquire more with all the space I’ve got on top, ya know? 🤷‍♀️ 

What is the strangest thing you believed as a child?

That if you whistle at night, the ghosts will come find you. Or if you play hide and seek at night, then you’ve opened up some kind of portal that the ghosts will kidnap you away from this dimension forever.

Tbh, I think my grandma was just sick of me trying to learn how to whistle when I was in elementary school and of me running around the house at night, so she made these omen up lol.

What time do you usually get up in the morning?

Used to wake up at 13:00-14:00 all the time, but since I married an early bird, I’ve been up at 6:30-7:00 lately.

What time is your usual bed time?

Heeheee 1:00-2:00 in the morning, oops.

How has your birth order/characteristics of siblings affected you?

I have the loveliest older brother in the world, he’s 4 years older, and is very smart, diligent, athletic, and funny. Me being the only daughter, my parents are incredibly protective, so they’d always have my brother do everything for me. 

It was a relief when I was younger, but as I enter high school, it became a little frustrating; I felt like I was living under his shadows and can never be considered independent. They’d also spend a lot more time training with him cuz he’s a national competitive swimmer.

Because of that, I had a lot of time to myself, so I experimented with my own interests and grew in my own way. As I’ve grown, I can definitely say that it’s made me a lot more independent and introverted haha. I absolutely dislike depending on anyone (Will be my last resort), but it’s also nice to know that whenever either of us fall, we’ll always have each other’s back.

#tag games with Nin 🎮

Learn even more about me through various tag games I participated!✌️ 

#chats with Nin

My previous responses, rambles, vibe checks, and many more!

And please drop by my ask box and chit chat, I love interacting with you all! 👋 

>>> Back to Ticket Booth Navigation 🎟

One Punch Man, thus far

all Genos/Saitama, unless otherwise specified  (i still have a few on my ‘marked to read later’)

Top 10:

Colourless Saitama and his Years of Training by rironomind, M (fluff, humor, angst, hurt/comfort, adventure, romance, drama) A lonely eggman living in the 21st century finds a cyborg who endeavours to keep him.

Connect Your Heart to Mine by Notsohappycamper, T (fluff) When Genos is left in critical condition and must stay at Dr. Kuseno’s for much longer than he’d like, Saitama is more than happy to stay connected to him.

everybody’s looking for darjeeling by Batman, G (AU) In which Genos takes up a part time job, Saitama is upset by purple aprons with sunflowers on them, and Sonic is a very tired supervillain. (Or, that one coffee shop AU now with 76% more cyborg baristas.)

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH DEMON CYBORG by nicolet, T (humor) Today we will be interviewing Demon Cyborg, 19 year old Hero Genos LIVE! Stay tuned for more!

From, Anonymous: Be my friend? by One_Punch_Chan, T Saitama wants to connect with his younger roommate as if he were any other human the only way he knows how: The power of the anonymous internet.

It’s always the internal stuff by fabulousreaper, T  Here he was, the strongest man in the world, brought to his knees by a fucking cramp.

Knock Knock, I’m Back From Space by Notsohappycamper, T In which Boros lives, learns to find peace with his human rival, and comes over for tea every so often. I.e., in which Boros visits Saitama while Genos is away.

Missed Connections by batneko, T If the person you like doesn’t like you back, the healthy thing to do is move on, right? All Saitama wants to do is help Genos get over that mystery jerk who doesn’t appreciate what he could have had. And all Genos wants to do is get over Saitama, but how can he when he has to see him every day?

One Hundred Contest Entries by batneko, G Genos gets roped into an embarrassing publicity stunt, and no one is happy about it.

You’ll find me where the monsters are by supercrunch, T Genos stares. For a very long time, because he’s standing in the street with one shoe on, fighting a half-naked man who’s threatening to eat his other shoe, and now there’s an actual naked bald man with one raised eyebrow like he can’t even tell Genos is on his way to short-circuiting. “Oh.” (Either this ‘Saitama’ guy has very bad luck, or he genuinely enjoys getting attacked by monsters every week. Genos, for the life of him, can’t tell which.)

the rest!

G

Action and Reaction by Astarea (fluff) Saitama has come to terms that he can never confess, but it still hurts.

All The Makeup That MAC Can Make by Sacramental_Wine (hurt/comfort, fluff) “Did he have freckles once? Was he always smoother looking? Did his face always seem to have that plasticine finish? What would Saitama think when he came home to Genos looking…alive for a change?”

Black Is Your Brightest Color by daughterofMyou (fluff, angst) -A Valentine’s Day fanfiction; Saitama and Genos go for a walk in the park, then attempt to cook each other their favourite desserts. Not everything goes as planned.

Brand Loyalty by batneko (AU) Genos encounters a man who looks exactly like Saitama… but with hair.

First Crush by batneko A conversation over dinner about crushes and fandoms.

First-Name Basis by batneko (AU) Genos gave up on finding his soulmate when he gave up his skin. Saitama just isn’t looking.

Gray Matter by batneko (fluff) Some parts aren’t so easy to replace. And the injuries you can’t see can be the most dangerous.

Hands by Bloodsbane Genos asks to use Saitama’s hand as a drawing reference.

Hollow Spaces by twisting_vine_x Saitama hadn’t realized how alone he was until Genos came into his life.

“I’m his husband.” by batneko The obligatory accidental marriage fic.

It’s Cold Without You by your_tomodachi (fluff) Genos is invited to a party organised by the Hero Association on Christmas Eve. He decides to take Saitama along and everyone thinks they’ve come together as a couple. Really, Saitama only came because he heard there’s free food.

Love Bite by batneko (fluff, angst) “Maybe we should stop fooling around.”

Marks on Metal, Dents on Flesh by notsohappycamper (fluff) The boys explore the imperfections of each other’s bodies.

Masks by batneko Superheroes wear masks. Everyone knows that.

Morning Routine by rironomind (fluff) Waking up next to someone who loves you

Mr. Right by OldBeginningNewEnding Flowers in hand, Saitama takes a trip with Genos for a long-overdue introduction. And maybe a request as well.

my love has come along by lowsywriter (fluff, angst, AU) Genos knows himself too well to not notice that his feelings for Saitama are more than friendship, and with graduation looming he is gonna miss his chance to make a move.

never change by determination Saitama doesn’t know how to handle Valentine’s day or his feelings. But he’s learning, and maybe a romantic holiday is all he needed to nudge him in the right direction.

Obliviously by batneko Everyone can see how much Genos cares for Saitama, but can Genos? (No, no he can’t.)

Our Two Dads by aactionjohnny (fluff) A day in the lives of the robo babies.

The Pocket Trials by 8ball (friendship, fluff) Genos apologized at the end of the fight, like he always did when Saitama had to help him stand or gather his parts or just flat out carry what was left of him. But it bothered Saitama that Genos was apologizing for failing to defeat the monster, rather than failing to keep himself unharmed.

R.A.M Sleep by CAPSING “Genos,” Saitama finally speaks, with an uncharacteristic hint of urgency in his voice. “Yes, Sensei?” Genos straightens his back slightly, attentive; he sets his chopsticks down. “This morning, on patrol…” Saitama is clearly struggling. “I –“ There’s a pause.“I wondered what we’d have for dinner.”

Robot Parenting 101 by batneko (fluff) Dr. Kuseno’s latest project is useful, but unconventional.

Soap by 54starr Genos accidentally confessiones his love to Saitama. Now he’s gotta wash his mouth out with soap.

Uncharacteristically nervous by oiltears (fluff) Genos and Saitama go on their first “real” date and Saitama is a small bundle of nerves

unwind by bluestrawberryiii (fluff) Saitama’s had a rough day.

Warm Like the Sun’s Rays by oodlenoodle (hurt/comfort, fluff) Genos and Saitama enjoy a sunset together and share memories from the past while creating a new memory of their own.

Yellow by transtrees “The person I love is so strong it worries me, So show your weakness to me alone! I’ll find you before the stars do, So please come straight home!”

T

Blending and Processing by aactionjohnny It’s just a blender.

Blush by SomeplaceToStay Genos can’t blush and Saitama doesn’t know if he’s upset by that.

Breaking the Fourth Wall by nicolet (fluff, crack, humor) Genos reads fanfic. That’s all there is to it.

Breathing Fish to Life by Magisey (fluff, angst, hurt/comfort) A fluffy hurt/comfort fic of getting together, love, and fishies

Condition of Learned Helplessness by Sheepnamedpig (drama, romance, angst, friendship) Genos fights, learns, launders, and loves.

Confessions by AlaianaPotter (fluff) He had not meant to send it. He had not meant to even write it, but sitting there in the morning as Sensei slumbered, it had just been far too tempting

Fraternization by batneko Saitama and Genos learn about a very inconvenient Hero Association rule.

Frustration by icarusforgotten (angst) It’s something so fundamentally human, so unbearably real, that it almost hurts to acknowledge it.

Greed by Sheepnamedpig I get a little bit Genghis Khan./ I don’t want you to get it on/ With nobody else but me.

Hands by Bloodsbane Genos asks to use Saitama’s hand as a drawing reference.

I Didn’t Know What I Needed to Know by The_Button_Harlequin (fluff, angst) Saigenos Week Prompt: Won’t you come home soon?

I Love You by nicolet (fluff) Just a touch, the briefest touch, and yet within it, a world of importance.

Kisses For Me by nicolet (fluff, crack) Genos keeps kissing other Heroes (accidentally), and Saitama is annoyed.

Lazy Day by Notsohappycamper (fluff) Relaxing on the balcony, doing laundry together, eating ice cream, and being in love.

Love doesn’t HAVE to be a many splendored thing, does it? by Ginncide Saitama’s never been an emotional guy, so he figured he wasn’t cut out for romance. He starts to wonder what being in love really is.

Mind Over Matter by yesterday “You want me to teach you how to what?” Saitama asks as they’re clearing up the dishes from tonight’s meal. Genos washes; Saitama gathers up the garbage. Tomorrow is burnable garbage day. Each pot and plate and dish is scoured to sparkling perfection before it goes into the drying rack. “Relax,” Genos says. “Sensei appears to have a lot of experience in the art of doing nothing, and recently Doctor Kuseno suggested that it would be beneficial for me to do the same.” “Doesn’t that guy make robots? They’re not exactly like humans, you know,” Saitama says. “And it’s not like I spend all day lying around the house. I’m a hero, a hero.”

Not Today by Sheepnamedpig (action, drama, romance) There is only one thing we say to death–

One Day (Love and Loss) by SugaSugar (AU, angst) By the time he’s twenty five, Saitama starts to wonder if Genos died before they could meet.

Paper Stars by Variastrix (angst) Saitama folds paper stars as a coping mechanism.

Phantom Warmth by KNACC (fluff) Genos is feeling odd reactions in his barely functional core as Saitama carries his wrecked body away from the Sea King fight.

Practice Makes Perfect by Humanitys_Shortest_Soldier (fluff, angst) Genos takes a lesson from Saitama a little too seriously, and Saitama is surprisingly okay with the whole thing.

Regret by Lazzuli (fluff, angst) Everyone has discussions, everyone fights. Even teachers and disciples.

Search Your Feelings by Chokopoppo (fluff) Saitama can’t believe Genos hasn’t ever seen Star Wars. Genos can’t believe Saitama thinks R2-D2 is the best robot.

Separation Anxiety by NanakiBH (drama, angst) Everything can be broken; something the strong forget.

Shift by Duskglass They’re both pretty bad at dealing with change, and Saitama just wants to avoid trouble. It sort of backfires.

Simplicity by rubyfiamma (fluff) Genos kisses Saitama, Saitama wonders what in the fuck

Sleeping Cycles by LennyFace (fluff, friendship) Genos can’t help but notice many details about his master, small things he observes from their routine and includes in his housework to facilitate his life.

So much time to waste by seiji Two heroes walk into a bar. The waitstaff survive, mostly.

synthetic by cyaneyed He tastes faintly of metal.

Twelve to Four by lightning027 (fluff) [[Or a story where Saitama makes a list, Genos buys a throw pillow, and they both sort of overheat]]

why isn’t he getting paid for all the merchandise though?  There was a line between admiration and obsession and Saitama was pretty sure Genos was starting to cross it.

you’re digging graves into your skin (mark the headstones with my name) by rironomind (romance) Genos is self-destructive, Saitama is insensitive and Dr Kuseno is long-suffering.

M

All I Have to Give by needchocolatenow (fluff) Genos is in love with Saitama.

And so the Universe Cackled in Glee by I_dont_know_man (humor) Inspired by bleepbloop6969’s Ecchi AU: “Where everything is the same, except Genos keeps getting thrown into perverted positions with Saitama.”

First Aid by Zemmiphobia (fluff) Watching Genos prep for repairs gives Saitama a sudden realization, sparking Genos’ own revelation.

Friction by Usuishi (PWP) There were far too many times where they ended up in situations in that Saitama really couldn’t find the source of. They always ended up in erotic circumstances somehow, whether it was Genos or himself that initiated them. It didn’t matter where they were by this point. It didn’t matter one bit.

A Happy Accident by paperficwriter Genos discovers that Saitama is very, very sensitive to certain touches, and he decides to experiment.

A Hot Bath and a Hot Pot by aactionjohnny (fluff, smut) Or, “what the OVA didn’t show us.”

I Want You To Want Me by One_Punch_Chan Genos gets a super obsessive fan who keeps harassing him for dates etc. and the only way to get them to leave him alone is for Saitama to fake being his boyfriend.

Jupiter Has Seven Moons by Chokopoppo (PWP) Nothing like a cool robot boyfriend with weird sexual modules to make you appreciate the modern age of technology, and no time like the present to figure out how to use that.

Nightmare by batneko Saitama has a dream that shakes him, and some reassurance is in order.

Nobody Got Me Feeling This Way by Sacramental_Wine “Normally, he felt hard around the edges, something immobile and sturdy. But the music hollowed him out, making him fluid, floating, dancing along with a general ease that came from not seeing himself.” Genos discovers what it is to love the body he’s been given.

Repairs by shaunhastings2012 Genos needs to fix some of his wiring after a battle. It should’ve been a simple repair, but it wasn’t going quite the way he’d expected. However, Genos didn’t exactly mind what happened.

Self-Indulgence by EmpanadaDrabblez The alarm clock across the room shone red like those beautiful crimson irises. The blue moonlight through the sheer curtains glowed like the white cables of Genos’ neck when they were kissed. The small fan at his feet droned quietly like the overworked hum of Genos’ cooling system.

Sensory by Duskglass Genos needs some minor repairs after a fight, and is positive he can handle them on his own. It’s a little harder than he anticipated.

So Very Loved by lilith_swbf Saitama made him feel like he was his most precious treasure.

Untitled. by DesInDisguise (fluff) Gentle lovemaking was all that he could ask for. To be shown adoration, love. To be pulled away from their lives for only a moment, no remembrance of how he was a machine made for death. How nice it was to forget, or pretend that he was human for those moments. To be loved and cherished much like anyone else, for Saitama to kiss him without hesitation, giving him no time to apologise for being too stiff, too awkward, too fake.

E

Add-On by NyxMidnight Genos is a cyborg. Adding a bodypart is nothing to him.

Apartment-warming by Akumeoi (smut, romance) Saitama finally moves out of the Hero Association HQ and goes back to Z-City with Genos. They do some housewarming. (Translation: 2K smut)

Appreciation by EmpanadaDrabblez (AU, PWP) “You know I appreciate you, don’t you?” The question was easier to let out than Saitama expected, but it was the silence that answered him which made him anxious.

The Apron by Bloodsbane (angst, fluff) Shit. The word buzzed around Saitama’s skull like a mosquito, one he truly had no chance of squashing between his fingers. Shit, he thought, observing his disciple/roommate/best friend as he scrubbed furiously at a spot on the floor with a rag. He was on his knees, bent forward slightly, putting all his weight into removing an ugly soy sauce stain. The straps of the apron fell as if to purposefully frame his ass. Fucking shit.

Bathtime Bubbles Baby by Darke_Eco_Freak Saitama would really hate to burst them.

Beta Testing by Croik Taken from an anon prompt on tumblr: “Masochistic Genos who knows Saitama is going too far w/o realizing it while they’re banging.”

Blackout by Lindserton (fluff, smut) A storm is approaching and Saitama doesn’t seem concerned about it one bit.

Blooming Season by oodlenoodle It’s springtime and Saitama decides to visit Genos.

Break Me Open by spunlikesugar Genos ends up with his fair share of dents the first time he has sex with Saitama…and the second time. And many times after that.

Crime and Punishment by spunlikesugar (humor, smut) Genos uses a new tactic to get Saitama to attend a wedding with him. It backfires. Or not. Depends on how you look at it.

Egging Him On by banana-babies Genos and Saitama end up at King’s house with some sake and a lot of sexual tension. King ends up having a very bad time.

Evening Interlude by SweetAvidyaJones (angst) I have been thinking a lot lately about Genos fucking Saitama and I couldn’t stop so I wrote this.

Eyes (Only For You) by 8bitcyborg (smut) «That’s when he decided that it didn’t really matter. His heart told him it didn’t matter. Genos wanted him, and he wanted Genos. The reckless but still so perfect and loving cyborg, who could have anyone in the world, possibly the universe, but only had eyes for him.»

Full Color by NanakiBH Ever since Genos appeared, something began to change.

From a Cyborg’s Mouth by Emery (fluff, smut) Genos is much, much too polite, and Saitama decides that he’s had enough of it–especially when he knows that the cyborg talking dirty will get him off.

Frozen Sunlight by Aetherdrive Humanity is the best gift you can give to someone that has transcended it.

Hard Edges by Ixxen (smut) For the rest of the day there’s a peaceful lilt in Genos’ step that Saitama hasn’t seen for longer than he liked to think, and makes sure to let the blond catch him staring. Each time is a discovery, and the specimen is a smile outlined in vivid red; perfect, entrancing, and capable of skipping a step in Saitama’s otherwise perfect heartbeat. After that, he pays attention.

Phantom Limb by batneko Genos doesn’t have a penis, but accidentally discovers his brain can make do.

Pointless by CheekyKichi (PWP) Genos is very cheeky and Saitama doesn’t let him get away with it, even if they’re at a very important wedding.

The Quality of Being Hard by NyxMidnight A misunderstanding leads to good time, or “You just had to say so, Master”.

Reconsider by SpringTide “So, uh, Genos. Do you…have a thing for me?” Time stood still in the room. This was the absolute worst case scenario. Genos weighed his options while carefully maintaining a poker face. Saitama just kept staring at him with a blank, unreadable expression. “That’s. An abrupt question, sensei.” It wasn’t abrupt. Genos had lived there for months and fallen hard and fast. It was shocking it took this long for something to come up.

Stamina by toastycyborg (PWP) A drabble for Tumblr user sai-pop, based on an anonymous ask: “OVERSTIMULATED GENOS AND A SAI THAT CANT STOP BC HE HAS A SCARY AMOUNT OF STAMINA”

Through Different Eyes by NanakiBH (drama, hurt/comfort) For the first time, he wanted to know more.

Yellow by aactionjohnny Genos buys Saitama a gift. Well, really, it’s for both of them.

Yes, Master by Astarea Genos is very upset and Saitama is having none of that.

NR

Always Gold by OldeShoestring (AU, fluff, humor) Genos lost a bet and the result isn’t as quite as he expects it to be.

Good Boy by doobler (PWP) Saitama wants Genos to want him to want to be praised. Right?

Head Full Of Nothing by hopelesswanderlust (angst) Sweet Mask makes him write a list about what it means to be human.

His Biggest Fan by Orihander (fluff) Genos just wants his sensei to be happy

I Know Your Face by paperficwriter Sonic finds Saitama, but something about him keeps him at an uncharacteristic distance.

Lazy Mornings (PWP) Saitama appreciates staying in bed longer than necessary a lot more than he should. Especially if there is someone else with him. Someone who doesn’t mind being ground against.

The Meaning of Flowers by paperficwriter (+ Metal Bat/Garou; fluff) A collection of drabbles based around flowers and their many meanings.

So Many Colors by OldeShoestring (fluff) Genos deals, listens and loves. Not necessarily in that order but he does all of them anyway.

“A cat that likes water, I’m impressed.” “Millie is a special cat, she knows what she wants and water be dammed.“ “I can see that. Well have a nice evening, and just call if you need something.” “Thanks, dad.”

He chuckles, setting down the Sushi on a table nodding at them vanishing again at the same time as River returns to them with towels in hand, putting them down where Hayden can reach them. Rylan watching them, specifically Charlie who he notices has some of the traits a good therapy dog would normally have, or perhaps a helper dog, trained to pick up things and generally  help their owner around the house.  Vy looks at Charlie and sighs, finally picking the small dog up with a frown.

“You need an owner, someone big and strong and full of love that just needs something tiny and adorable to protect… “

As his answer, he gets licked by the dog and looks at Hayden horrified, not sure if he should drop the dog or not, finally he puts it down carefully.

“G-go lay with a big fluffy polar bear!”

Almost as if answering Polar comes over and lays down next to the two, looking up at Vy

“… Hayden… “

He slowly scoots away, Hayden trying his best not to chuckle at it all.

“Or maybe he just needs someone that cares for him and that he can care for in return. Their nice stinkies Vy, not out to do you harm, right Polar?”

He gets a wave off the tail as an answer.

“I should be cold enough now so, get me back to the sofa so we can eat?”

He has noticed River looking at the boxes, knowing he loves sushi, and probably where his dad has been to get said sushi. Vy pouting slightly, but easily helps him out of the bath, letting him dry off and let his merman form disappear.

“Yess! We got sushi!” “Yep, probably from Japan knowing my dad right, so be careful with the Wasabi.”

Rylan chuckles, knowing all to well how his other dad reacted to that once, thinking it was the normal stuff.

“Oh! Real wasabi, I’m having some!”

He chuckles as he sees both Charlie and Polar following Vy.

“I think they like him though. They can tell he’s scared and want to comfort him, kinda cute…”

He opens a few boxes with Rylan and pulls him close.

“And what were you thinking princess?

Vy sighs, trying to ignore the fact that he is followed by both the dogs. Focusing on Hayden instead.

“How are you feeling, my Heartlight? “ “I’m good”

He notices both Polar and Charlie following Vy,

“Did you ever train Charlie, River?”

He pulls Vy down on the couch next to him, wrapping his arms protectively around him, knowing he still doesn’t feel fully comfortable with the dogs. Rylan looking at River, wondering if he has a direct line into his head sometimes. Charlie looking up at the two in the sofa, whining a little to be allowed back up.

“Hmh, a bit what my brother just said, maybe charlie could be trained like Polar. Perhaps as a helping dog?” “No I haven’t trained him, but he is a smart dog.” “I think I might try and train him while you’re away, he has what’s needed, and if we find the right person for him, he would get a home to feel safe and need at “ “You can try. Just try not to let him bond to you, it’ll be harder to get him an owner if he starts seeing you as his”

Vy looks down at the small dog and sighs,

“Okay… you’re kinda cute… -”

He pulls him up to the sofa, putting him on the pillows next to them.

“Just… don’t go to my lap, that’s a cat exclusive but… I guess you can lay next to me…”

The dog lays next to him and polar at his feet, Vy snuggling closer to Hayden, putting his hands on Hayden’s and kissing him gently.

“My Heartlight… I’m surrounded by stinkies, at least you aren’t a stinky, my beautiful and bright Heartlight… “

He lays head against him, listening to his heart to be sure that he feels okay, as well as the comfort of just being close to him. River opening some more boxes and handing them out to everyone.

“Would you still love me if I was turned into one? A stinky I mean?”

He keeps one arm around him as he takes the food River hands him. Vy looking at Charlie then back at Hayden.

“Yes… I’d love you regardless… I’m better with cats… but I guess I can learn to like the shelter dogs… if they’re nice… Like Lobo and Charlie and… even Polar…

The three aforementioned dogs wag their tails and Vy smiles.

“I guess he likes me… “

He pets Charlie again offering a piece of his sushi, noticing how Millie is clearly more interested in it than the dog.

“Want a piece of my sushi? Or do you prefer it, Millie.”

He holds out a piece of sushi for Millie who takes it with a purr, cuddling next to Charlie, munching happily at her little piece of food.

“Awww! Millie made a friend!”

Hayden just smiling at them, thanking River as he hands him the box with sushi. Looking at the box knowing to stay away from the wasabi, a lesson he learned last he tried. Trying to offer Charlie one of his bites, only to have Millie grab that one too.

“I guess you would rather have meat huh, Charlie. ”

Rylan takes his box and opens it, looking over at River who has opened his box and started to mix the wasabi with the soy sauce dipping his first piece in it. Grinning at Rylan as he puts it in his mouth.

“Huuuummmmmmmmmm! Real wasabi! Good!” “Well then… now I know what to bring with me when I come to visit you when you’re stuck in RoM huh?”

River smiles, throwing a piece of meat to Charlie, handing out treats to the other animals around them, then returning to sit with Rylan.

“Have you seen what they eat there?” “No.. that bad is it?” “Very bad. They cook mac and cheese in those cauldrons just so you know… “

Their talk gets interrupted by Vy giggling, watching Charlie and Millie and how they get along so well.

“I like Sushi!” “I do too, although I prefer your home-cooked meals by now.”

Hayden chuckles, both him and Vy pondering the same about the two animals their watching, that both seem to be better around the other.

“Maybe they should be allowed to be together at night, and… if they are this close, perhaps they could be adopted as a pair?” “They seem to like each other, I never saw a cat do this so easily with a dog they didn’t know.”

Hayden looks at Vy who looks at the two pets, River having listened to their conversation, nodding slightly

“I think I can let Millie in with Charlie at night. She’s a friendly old girl. “ “Millie likes Charlie and she’s very calm about him, I don’t think him being a stinky will bother her so it might be okay”

looks at River, struggling with his chopsticks

“Aaargh!”

He throws chopstick and eats with hands, which gets all the pet’s attention mostly because off the chopsticks that are suddenly on the floor. Rylan chuckling slightly at it.

“Seems it is worth a try at least. It could be beneficial for both, and we can add a note that they would like to have a home together. I clearly need to teach you how to use chopsticks Vy”

He chuckles, managing to get the chopsticks with his feet before any of the animals try to chew on them. Rylan looking at River, trying to think of what cauldrons he could be talking about.

“Wait, in those really big pots… Ewww… Well then, I guess I will just have to bring you food as often as I can or you will be skin and bones by the time you come back! “

Beginning - Previous - Next

Any chance of a continuation of the Banana bread FF because I need more like right now? it was so freaking cute omfg pretty please with a cherry on top?!🙈

I’m sorry it took so long, but here it is:

Chloe’s been in her house for a week and has spent every evening texting Beca after she gets home from work. The day she’d first met Beca, she texted herself from Beca’s phone so that she’d have her number.

Ever since, Chloe’s been using it liberally. She can’t use it during the day because she doesn’t want her students picking up bad habits from her. They’re at the age of ten, highly influential, and she wants them to know she’s 100% there during their time together.

Trying to be a good role model can be difficult.

She doesn’t text Beca directly after school either. Usually she has a meeting of some kind, either with a parent, a colleague, or a student. Then, instead of bringing her work home with her, she stays at her desk marking or prepping future lesson plans.

When she gets home, though, after she’s showered, Beca’s phone is open season.

Sometimes she starts by saying hello to her favourite baker. Other times she asks Beca about her day. Most often, though, she just launches into a story about one of her kids from that day.

Chloe: So I gave them a word association test today

Beca: I thought you needed informed consent before you could run psychological experiments on kids?

Chloe: Not for that reason!

Beca: lol

Chloe: You’re the worst.

Beca: Alright, I’m sorry. You were saying?

Chloe: Okay so

Beca: Wait how long is this story?

Chloe: BECA!

Beca: What?! We live next door. If it’s a long story you might as well just come over and tell it to me in person.

Chloe: I’m in the middle of making dinner.

Beca: Cool. I haven’t eaten yet. Be right over.

Chloe looks down at the takeout menu in her hand. “Crap.” Someone knocks at the door. Chloe looks at the pile of takeout menus on the counter. “Coming!” she shouts, tossing the one she was holding on top and sweeping the lot into a random drawer.

When she opens the door, Beca is on her doorstep with a bottle of wine in each hand. “I didn’t know if you preferred red or white,” she shrugged. “So I brought both.” Chloe steps to the side, blushing a little in embarrassment because Beca’s going to find out really soon that she can’t really cook.

Beca walks past her into the house and slips off her shoes. Finally she actually looks at Chloe. Concern hits her eyes immediately. “Hey, is something wrong? Oh my God, I’m sorry, I totally just invited myself over without even asking and, ugh, I’m sorry I’m such a dick,” she chastises herself, putting the bottles down on the table Chloe’s placed in the hall and leaning down to put her shoes back on.

Chloe’s too enamoured at how cute and awkward Beca’s being; it takes three seconds too long for her to put a hand on Beca’s arm. “No!” Chloe denies strongly. “Don’t go,” she continues and Beca at least pauses. “You don’t have to leave,” Chloe adds.

“Dude, no, I should, I was like super rude-”

“Stay please! I’m just embarrassed,” Chloe admits, shifting her weight on her feet.

Beca looks up, at the moment seemingly convinced not to leave. “Why?”

Chloe’s cheeks turn red. “I, uh, wasn’t technically cooking…”

Beca nods. “I was gonna say, for someone in the middle of dinner prep it does not at all smell of food in here.”

Chloe covers her face with her hands as Beca chuckles softly. “I know! I was going through takeout menus.”

Beca brushes Chloe’s hands off of her face. “So why not just say that?”

Vaguely, Chloe gestures at Beca’s whole body. Beca just stares back, confused.

“What, is there something on my shirt?” Beca asks, as she looks down at herself and starts twisting around to try and find a stain.

Chloe fights the urge to roll her eyes. “No, you look great, of course you do, it’s just that you’re, like, a super talented baker and I can barely make mac and cheese from a box,” Chloe says, eyes downcast.

Beca nudges her. “Relax, Chlo, the great thing about modernity is that cooking is not a required skill.” A little unsure, Beca pats Chloe on the arm. “Honestly? Without a recipe, I am at a loss with cooking. Baking and cooking are not the same thing, like at all.” She nods at the menu in Chloe’s hands. “I should show you my own collection.”

Smiling shyly, Chloe grabs a couple more menus from beside the fridge and offers them to Beca. “What are you in the mood for tonight?”

Sorting through them, Beca adopts a comically unsure expression, breaking a little into a smile when Chloe giggles. After another shuffle through, Beca raises an eyebrow and declares, “Do you trust me?”

Chloe laughs. “I trusted you even before I knew you,” she says, referring to the banana bread that still sometimes stars in her daydreams.

“Okay,” Beca says easily. “No food allergies?”

Chloe shakes her head.

“No peeking, Beale,” Beca instructs as she pulls out her phone and then she wanders into Chloe’s living room.

Beca dials up her favourite delivery restaurant in town, and waits for Linda to pick up.

“Fortune City Inn, how can I help you?”

“Hey Linda,” Beca says, looking back to check Chloe’s location. She moves farther away from her friend.

“Beca! The usual?” Linda asks, real elation entering her voice.

“Actually no, I’m going to branch out a bit. M goy ngau naam wonton mein, suk mi guy tong, yeung jow chow faan, hoyow gai lan, and jeeu pai chow mein.”

“You’re going to have leftovers!” Linda laughs. “Alright, it’ll be there in 35 minutes.”

“Oh, can you actually deliver it to the house beside mine?” Beca asks, then rattles off Chloe’s address.

“No problem,” Linda says. “Will you need the machine?”

“Yeah, please.”

“Okay, enjoy your evening!”

“You, too!” Beca hangs up and goes back into the kitchen. “Okay, food will be here in about half an hour. What should we do until then?”

Chloe grins, “Netflix?”

Beca laughs. “I still can’t believe that that was the first thing you set up for your new place, right after your Internet.”

“What can I say, TV is important to me!”

Beca smiles indulgently. “What are we watching, then?”

Chloe happily claps a little as she goes to grab her laptop from her office and sets it up on the coffee table. “I’ll set it up if you get the drinks?”

“Sure thing,” Beca agrees. She walks over to Chloe’s random utensil drawer and pulls out the wine opener. She uncorks the bottle of white and grabs two glasses from beside the sink.

When she gets back to the couch, Chloe has her portable speaker set up and the Netflix intro screen up.

“So you never answered what we’re watching…”

“You’ll find out! It’s a comedy though.”

Beca rolls her eyes. “Yup, that narrows it down for sure.”

Chloe glares playfully. “Watch it, Mitchell, I could still throw on a rom-com movie instead.”

Hastily, Beca hits the spacebar and sits back against the couch while the intro plays. Chloe smiles triumphantly and settles against Beca’s side.

“I’m assuming you haven’t seen any of this so we’re starting at the beginning. The new season comes out tomorrow.”

“Great, Chlo,” Beca says. “Still haven’t got a clue what it is.”

“Wait for it…” Chloe warns and after another few scenes,” One Day at a Time” appears on the side of the building.

“Isn’t this from the fifties or something?”

Chloe shakes her head. “It’s a remake and it’s awesome. Now shush.” And she devotes her attention to the screen in front of them in such a way that Beca has to follow suit.

Beca has to admit, it’s pretty funny. And even though knowing someone as overdramatic as Lydia in real life would suck, she might be Beca’s favourite character.

Halfway through the second episode, Chloe’s doorbell rings, and Beca immediately jumps for the door. Chloe takes the time to pause the show before following Beca out to her hallway.

Beca’s already got her card in the machine. The man at the door waves to Chloe and then he tears off Beca’s receipt.

“Do zeh,” she calls after him and then closes the door. She turns around to see Chloe behind her.

“What language is that?” Chloe asks, holding her arms out to help Beca carry the bags of food.

“Uh, Cantonese,” Beca says, and then walks right by Chloe to the kitchen.

“Where did you learn Cantonese?” Chloe asks, sounding both surprised and impressed.

“Oh, my mom and I used to go there a lot. The owner, Linda, taught us how to say some of the things we like in Canto, so now we can always impress, or maybe entertain is the better word, the ladies at different Chinese restaurants,” Beca answers as she pulls containers out of the bags and sets them on Chloe’s counter.

“Can I hear some?” Chloe asks as she pulls plates from a cupboard and digs around for napkins.

Beca laughs, “Maybe some other time, Beale, I have such a white person accent it’s not even funny.” She tosses a package of chopsticks on each plate.

“Still, it’s cool that you try,” Chloe says. She looks at Beca for a moment. Beca’s not sure what crosses Chloe’s face before she’s turning away to grab some serving utensils.

“Thanks.” Beca’s not sure why she blushes either.

“It smells delicious, but what am I eating?” Chloe asks, inspecting the various dishes. “I mean, clearly this is some sort of fried rice, this is a soup with corn? And this is wonton soup with noodles and some kind of meat, but anything more specific than that, I’m lost.”

“Oh right,” Beca says, and then steps closer to Chloe to differentiate the dishes with her pointer finger. “So I got us some house special fried rice, beef brisket and wonton noodle soup, creamy chicken and corn egg drop soup, and house special chow mein. Oh, and some oyster sauce gai lan.”

“Cool, let me grab a couple of bowls for the soup and some spoons, and then we can either migrate our Netflix set-up to the kitchen table or we can eat on the couch.”

“I don’t want to accidentally ruin your couch with sauce or soup or something, so we should probably move to the table,” Beca said, going over to move the computer onto the table.

“If you grab the shoebox from beside the couch, we can prop the laptop up for better ergonomics,” Chloe suggests as she closes a cupboard and places bowls beside the plates on the counter. She slips a spoon onto each plate too.

Beca finds the shoebox and does as she’s told and then joins Chloe back at the food. She serves them both some of each soup while Chloe fills her plate with little piles of everything else. Beca takes their bowls of soups over to the table before going back to load up her own plate.

After sitting down, Chloe breaks her chopsticks and then hits play just as Beca slides into the chair beside her. She’s brought a couple of little plastic containers with her, and opens them.

“So by all means try the soup without this stuff,” Beca says as the One Day at a Time intro plays through. “But if you want a little extra flavour, Linda sent some white pepper and soy sauce.” And then Beca proceeds to dump a small mound of white pepper into her soup, circling it with a couple rings of soy sauce.

Chloe nods and tries the soup. It’s good, but it’s also kind of basic, so she follows Beca’s lead and adds the flavouring agents, albeit in smaller doses than Beca did. Then she heaps some noodles, rice, and gai lan onto her plate.

“Want some of the wonton soup?” Beca asks as Elena and Alex bicker on screen.

“Oh, sure, thanks,” Chloe says, throwing a brief smile in Beca’s direction.

They watch two episodes, both of them managing to put away impressive mounds of food. Beca helps wrap up some leftover noodles and rice and tucks them into the back corner of Chloe’s fridge. Meanwhile, Chloe refills their wine glasses, draining the last of the bottle into Beca’s glass and opening a new one for her own.

“Back to the couch?” Chloe asks, calling through to the kitchen. Beca’s head pops out of the doorway.

“Sounds great, I’m just wrapping things up,” Beca says, making a face at her unexpected pun. Chloe laughs at her and then goes about moving their Netflix setup back to the couch.

They settle in with their wine and watch another three episodes, Chloe leaning against Beca’s side as Elena and Alex share a moment followed by a hug.

Completely ignoring the show still going on, Chloe moves her face closer to Beca’s. “Hey, are you okay?”

Beca’s eyes make a watery glance toward Chloe. “You said this was a comedy, Beale.” Her voice sounds a little choked up. The episode fades to the credits and Chloe quickly reaches over to prevent it from going to the next. When she looks back, Beca is gazing at her softly, the watery quality to her eyes seemingly dissipating. Chloe leans in closer to Beca, and she swears Beca leans in closer too.

At the last second, Beca pulls back slightly. “I think I’ve embarrassed myself enough for the evening and should probably head home.

And just like that, reality comes rushing back to Chloe. She smiles, a little tightly, “Not embarrassed, Becs, but yeah, I can see you out.” She gets up off the couch and Beca follows, taking a moment to take her empty wine glass to the kitchen before meeting Chloe at the door.

“Next time, you gotta prepare me for the feels, okay?” Beca says, sliding on her shoes.

“You should probably just always be ready for the feels in that show,” Chloe advises.

They hesitate in the doorway once Beca’s shoes are on and there’s nothing left to chat about. Before Chloe can bring up the elephant in the room, Beca squeaks out, “Okay, well, see you around, Chlo,” and opens the door before disappearing to her own house.

She closes the door, locks it, and goes back to throw herself upon the couch, already replaying the evening and asking where she went wrong reading the signals.

IMPORTANT HEADCANONS TO CONSIDER !  —  ARCHIE.

tagged by: NO ONE. i stole it from @ifemerel tagging: anyone who reads this, consider yourself fUCKIN TAGGED BB

CAN THEY USE CHOPSTICKS?: yes! he can use them surprisingly well but prefers a plain old fork bc it’s easier. if he’s out in a fancier asian restaurant he’ll opt for chopsticks but chinese take out in his flat? fork it is.

WHAT DO THEY DO WHEN THEY CANT SLEEP?: if he’s alone, he’ll often start practicing or playing guitar, but if he’s with someone, he’ll either opt for reading or watching something on his phone or laptop.

WHAT WOULD THEY IMPULSE BUY AT THE GROCERY STORE?: anything with cheese. going down the grocery list but spots some mac & cheese in the hot foods section that looks real fucking good? in the cart asap. walking the frozen isle & spots some pizza pockets? slam dunked into that cart bitch you already know

WHAT ORDER DO THEY WASH THINGS IN THE SHOWER?: torso, hair, give torso a quick once over to get rid of any shampoo or conditioner residue, junk, then he’s outta there. but he takes stupidly long showers & sings the whole time. 

WHAT’S THEIR COFFEE ORDER?: he’s got a sweet tooth but he usually takes his coffee with a little bit of cream & that’s it bc if he gets coffee that tastes too good he’ll just keep on drinking it all the time & after a few cups he gets a little jittery

WHAT SORT OF APPS WOULD THEY HAVE ON THEIR SMARTPHONE?: he doesn’t use social media much so he’ll usually only check it when he’s on his laptop, outside of twitter, which he loves & uses all the time. other than that, he doesn’t have any social media apps on his phone except a couple image heavy apps like pinterest as well as photo editing apps. he also has things like reddit or quora & finally, a shit ton of games like candy crush & puzzle games

HOW DO THEY ACT AROUND CHILDREN?: he’s always awkward at the start, but as soon as he feels like the kid likes him or is comfortable around him then he’s really great! he also really wants to have kids one day & thinks it’s good practice.

WHAT WOULD THEY WATCH ON TV WHEN THEY’RE BORED AND NOTHING THEY REALLY LIKE IS ON?: probably game shows? like jeopardy or family feud, or survival audition shows like the voice or britain got talent.

The Sixth Sense - P.P. (Chapter Two)

Pairing: Peter Parker x Female!OC

Word Count: 1965

Summary: Maria Mendes can see ghosts. She’s had this “gift” for as long as she can remember. When half the universe turns to dust, she realizes that she has a part to play in the endgame. And that part starts with a dead boy named Peter Parker.

Prompt: Dialogue 18: “Miracles? Really? You’re getting your hopes up.” (written for @starksparker ‘s 4K writing challenge

Warnings: Death, Infinity War Spoilers, swearing

Aditional Notes: Hey guys! This is chapter two of eight (I think) parts so we’re already a fourth of the way through this little mini-fic! I’m so excited for everyone to read the rest, I’ve got some tricks up my sleeves for some questions that you guys are bound to have! I also wrote this entire chapter in one day so if you see any mistakes, I’m very sorry. Hope you enjoy!

Masterlist

Chapter Two

Peter liked to stare. Maria was almost certain he couldn't even blink. His brown eyes bore into her own and she sat on the edge of her bed trying to avoid his gaze.

"How do you...this is impossible. There's no scientific explanation for what you do," Peter muttered. His blue face shown with concentration.

“There’s no scientific explanation? Peter, matter cannot be created or destroyed. Where do you think it goes after someone dies? It gets redistributed. You get redistributed. You exist in an alternate dimension and for some reason, I can see and interact with that alternate dimension.”

Peter's confused expression morphed into one of understanding. He walked closer and sat at the end of Maria's bed, facing away from the girl who was under the covers. The boy sighed and dropped his head into his hands.

"God, I'm sorry. I just...I don't know what happened to me. I was with Mr. Stark and then I was gone. I didn't even get to say goodbye. I was there and then I wasn't. And then I ended up in Queens again and there were all these people around but they couldn't hear me. Something drew me here though, I don't know why" he mumbled. It was almost as if he was thinking out loud, trying to figure out everything that happened to him.

"I do. People like you, they're drawn to me. I think subconsciously, spirits know that I can hear them. I don't know why or how but it comes in handy sometimes. I'm sorry that this happened to you, Peter. I know I don't know you very well but you seem like a nice guy. I wish I could help you," Maria responded. She threw the covers down and moved toward the end of the bed. She sat next to Peter and fiddled with her fingers to avoid looking at Peter.

"Wait, can you see every dead person? Like everyone that's ever died?" Peter asked. His voice brightened and he turned toward the girl seated next to him.

"Uh, yeah I guess. I've never tried to speak to anyone specific but it would probably work," Maria said. Her voice was laced with confusion. Peter's face morphed into one of excitement.

"This is great, you're the one the wizard was talking about. You're a miracle, Maria!" Peter said excitedly. He turned to face the girl with a large grin on his blue face. Maria raised her eyebrows incredulously in response to the boy next to her.

"Miracles? Really? You're getting your hopes up," Maria responded. Before Peter could respond, a voice interrupted the two.

"Maria, dinner's ready!" Isabel called from the kitchen.

"Stay here. We can talk about this plan of yours after I eat. I don't need my mom knowing there's a teenage boy in my room, even if you are dead," Maria whispered. Peter nodded with wide eyes and slouched on her bed.

"I ordered Thai, I hope that's okay? Did you're nap help at all?" her mother asked. Maria slid into her seat and started to eat the takeout on her plate. She nodded hesitantly in response to her mother. She fumbled around with her chopsticks and ate her noodles. Thoughts swarmed inside her head and she tried to focus on specifics but there were too many things going on.

Her main focus was Peter. The charming boy she had met at school today was dead. She couldn't believe it. He was so full of life and promise but now he was gone. Her mother talked about nothing and everything at the same time, almost as if she was trying to fill the silence.

The ringing of the phone drew the two women's attention from the food in front of them. Maria's mother stood and picked the phone up from the receiver. An automated voice droned on and her mother hung up after a few minutes of listening.

"Good news, Mar. School is canceled until further notice. Looks like you've got a surprise vacation," Isabel said with a smile as she sat back down at the table. Maria stopped mid-bite to look up at her mother with an incredulous expression.

"Until further notice? Wow, I didn't know it was that serious," Maria said.

"That serious? Babe, billions of people vanished today. You of all people should know how serious this is. People need time to cope, to get their lives back together. A lot of others weren't as lucky as we were," her mom responded.

Maria nodded and continued chewing. Her mom stroked the girl's face gently from across the table before the two continued eating in a comfortable silence.

The two finished eating and put away the leftovers in the fridge. Maria cleaned off the table and made sure everything was back in its place.

"I think I'm going to turn in for the night. If you need anything, you know where to find me. Night, Mar," Isabel said. She pressed a kiss to her daughter's forehead before retreating to her bedroom on the opposite side of the apartment. Maria walked into her own bedroom and shut the door. Peter was sprawled out on her floor examining her collection of old cassette tapes and records.

"You've got a pretty good collection. How long have you been buying these?" He asked as he skimmed through a box of vinyl.

"Most of them are my mom's. She was too nostalgic to give them away so she gave them to me a few years ago. The rest are from Goodwill and the garbage," She responded. Maria took a seat next to Peter and watched over his shoulder as he flipped through her favorite box of records.

"I get most of my best stuff from the garbage, it's like the ultimate thrift store in Queens," he said with a smile. Maria grabbed one of her favorites, Rumors by Fleetwood Mac, and put it on her turntable. The music filled the room with a vintage sound and Maria collapsed on the bed. Peter flopped down next to her and the two teens bonded over the sweet sound of songs from a different time.

Maria awoke with a start. She was still dressed in her clothes from yesterday and her record player was still turned on. She jerked around to find Peter seated at her desk.  

"I was wondering when you were going to wake up. You passed out last night so I left and let you sleep. I didn't want to watch you...but then I came back and you were still sleeping so I guess I watched you sleep again anyway. I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be creepy, honest. I got really excited to talk to you about my plan and I couldn't wait any longer so I came over. I hope that's okay," Peter rambled. Maria glanced at her phone and saw that it was almost 10am.

With a groan, Maria sat up and rubbed her tired eyes. Her gaze shifted toward the blue boy and a slight smile took over her features. Last night had been stressful, that's for sure, but her time with Peter was one of the most relaxing times spent with someone. Even if that someone was no longer among the living.

"So, you figured out a plan?" Maria asked sleepily. She ran her fingers through her hair and knew she would have to shower soon to feel more awake.

"Oh, yeah! Can you try calling to a guy I know? He told me his name was Dr. Strange, but I don't know if he was playing me or what. He's the one who knows the plan, so we need to talk to him. Do we have to perform a seance or something? I can pick an album to set the mood," He said quickly. This boy was the worst about rambling.

"A seance? God no, I just needed a name. We'll try Dr. Strange, but if he doesn't respond to that, I'm blaming you," Maria responded. She breathed in an attempt to focus herself. "Dr. Strange, if you're out there, please come forward. I would like to speak with you," she said. She kept her eyes closed, almost as if she was waiting for something to happen. After a few moments, she realized that it hadn't worked.

She turned to Peter with an exasperated look on her face, only to see a new man in her bedroom. His dark hair was streaked with gray and he wore what looked to be a cape. His ensemble was the most interesting thing Maria had ever seen, and she lived in New York.

"This better be important, I was checking in on the sanctum," the man, Dr. Strange, replied sassily. His hands fidgeted with a necklace around his neck, almost like something had gone missing from it not too long ago.

"Uh, I'm actually not sure why I called. It was all Peter's idea," Maria responded with a shrug. Dr. Strange's gaze shifted toward Peter and his eyes widened with understanding.

"Hey kid, sorry this thing got you too. It was the only way, though. If I would have had another choice, I would have taken it in a heartbeat," Strange said to Peter.

"That's actually why I told Maria to call you. I knew you saw how to fix this when you did that weird Exorcist thing with the green stone in your necklace, so I was hoping you could tell us so we can tell Mr. Stark," Peter responded. Maria waved at the man who glanced at her with a confused look on his face.

"So you can see both of us? You must be the one I was looking for then," Strange responded.

"What do you mean? You were looking for me?" she asked, her face full of confusion.

"I saw a girl in the timeline, a girl who was able to communicate between dimensions. You're a part of the endgame. You're our voice, like a translator between the living and the dead,"  Dr. Strange said.

"We need to get you in touch with Mr. Stark, he's the only one who can fix this," Peter said to Maria.

"Wait, like THE Tony Stark? How do you expect me to get in contact with him?" Maria asked.

"Call Happy. He'll be able to put you through with Mr. Stark and get you a meeting, especially if you mention what it's about," Peter responded.

"We need Tony Stark. He's a main player, kid. Call this Happy and get a meeting set up with Stark, it's the only way we can save the universe," Dr. Strange said.

"Hold up, save the universe? I'm a girl who can see dead people, not some all-powerful being? How the hell do you expect me to help The Avengers save the damn universe?" Maria said. Her voice was thick with frustration and her eyebrows were furrowed.

"You're a link between us and them. We can only do this together. Now, are you in?" Strange asked, eyeing the girl across the room from him.

"Fine. But if this plan of yours doesn't work, it isn't my fault," Maria responded. Peter rattled off Happy's number to the girl and she dialed it as fast as she could.

The phone rang a few times, with Maria getting more anxious as the dial tone kept going. At this rate, she was sure she would get his voicemail or that Peter had given her the wrong number. Just as she was about to hand up, a voice could be heard over the line.

“Happy Hogan speaking.”

“I need to get in contact with Mr. Stark,”

“What? Who the hell is this?”

“This is Maria Mendes, and it’s about Peter Parker.”

Random Egos Eating Headcanons

Here I am with more headcanons when I’m supposed to be sleeping! :D The Egos’ favorite foods/eating habits!

Septic Boys

Anti: He rarely ever eats, given how his body works, but he’ll still go for any kind of meat. He prefers it rare or medium rare and kind of stringy so he can horrify anyone watching with how he chews. He has absolutely no finesse about it; he doesn’t even sit down. Aside from slicing and dicing with his knife, he always eats with his hands; he likes feeling the blood coat his fingers.

Jackieboy: He goes for all kinds of crunchy snacks as his main meals: pickles, carrots, apples, chips, crackers, popcorn, and lots of cereal (His supreme favorite is Apple Jacks). He’s usually a finger-eater but always makes sure to wash the residue off his gloves afterward; given how often he has to wipe his eyes, he hates getting salt and sugar in them! He only goes to the table for breakfast; for lunch and dinner he stays in the living room so he can nap or watch TV after he eats.

Marvin: He’s the only one who takes the time to sit down at the table every time he eats like it’s a full, proper meal. He prefers foods like lo mein, orange chicken, jasmine rice, chilies, anything with an Asian air about it, though his absolute favorite is sushi. He most often uses a fork for his meals, but he’s practicing with his wand because of its similarity to chopsticks. This means his magic can get a little askew while he’s eating; some of his food will end up a little charred.

Schneep: Apart from making a mean potato soup – with enough portions for three weeks – he adores seafood and spicy things. Shrimp, crab puffs, and tilapia are his favorite, especially with lemony spices, pepper, and hot sauce over them. He’s something of a messy eater if he’s in a hurry, but he’ll always take the time to race to the table, wolf it down and explain to the cook how much he loves it while trying not to choke because he’s talking with his mouth full. 

Chase: Sweet breakfast foods. Most of his meals are comprised of pancakes, waffles, canned fruit, and crepes, but occasionally he’ll fight with Jackieboy over the cereals if he finds he’s craving a specific one. When those aren’t available, he’ll turn to easy things like poptarts, granola bars and yogurt. He’s not as faithful about it as Marvin is, but he’ll take time and put his feet up for breakfast, dinner, or both.

Robbie: He’s only allowed to have foods that are easy to swallow, like mashed potatoes, applesauce, and mac and cheese. He makes Anti look rather prim and proper in terms of messiness; most of his food ends up on the floor or in his hair but occasionally, if he’s in decent control of his jaw, he can treat himself to fried chicken provided one of the others is supervising. He doesn’t mind at all if he eats the bones and he loves tartar sauce.

Jameson: He’s in love with scones and tea sandwiches, especially cucumber sandwiches that he can eat in one bite. Just to be proper, he tends to use a fork with them, no matter how small they are, but he’s learned to avoid knives because of his broad hand gestures. He likes to focus entirely on taking his time and enjoying his meal but usually doesn’t get the opportunity before one of the others starts distracting him. Most of his meals go unfinished, even though they’re the smallest.

Markimoos

Dark: He prefers saucy/creamy foods, like Chicken Parmesan, beef stroganoff, various pot pies, chowder soups, and chocolate ice cream. He never eats with his fingers unless it’s to mock someone else for doing it first and as of yet, no one’s ever witnessed him spill. He sits down on time for every meal but may take it to the desk in his room to eat in private if he doesn’t feel like socializing. 

Wilford: Jams, jellies, custards, milkshakes -- all manner of dairy-based things! He rarely ever eats savory foods, but occasionally he’ll dump bitter spices into the mix to shake things up. He constantly eats with his fingers just to exasperate Dark and especially enjoys dunking whatever solid foods he has into a glass of milk. Those solid foods are usually Poptarts and granola or chocolate bars.

The Host: He loves Mexican food, to the point of categorizing his favorite salsas. He orders out at least once a week and can easily taste the difference if someone has been careless or forgot to add something to his burrito. He eats very carefully and always uses a spoon, but he goes through a lot of napkins anyway because he doesn’t want to risk getting blood from his face in his food. 

Dr. Iplier: He’ll go for all manners of salad—fruit salad, potato salad, bean salad, pasta salad—and coleslaw and usually just eats them out of the container while he’s working, but when he has time for a real meal, he prefers them as side dishes to pastas. He likes acting fancy with his food but usually just looks like he’s picking at it helplessly; despite his fine motor controls, forks don’t agree with him and spoons are the bane of his existence. He’s even resorted to using his scalpel as a utensil, much to the others’ disbelief. It actually serves him well when he does!

Google: He doesn’t strictly need to eat, but the one time he tried, he was out on his own, stopped at a fast food restaurant, and secretly fell in love with French fries and onion rings – not breaded rings, literally cuts of onion. Since then, he’s bravely resisted the urge to have them again, so at the moment no one else knows.

Bing: He’ll only ever eat refrigerated foods, like popsicles and ice cream bars, but by the time he remembers that they’re in the back of the freezer, Wilford has usually gotten to them. Because of that, he’s a very fast eater, barely stopping to enjoy the taste before they’re gone.

Yandere: He likes very light but flavorful foods, like meringues and wafers – foods that he doesn’t have to take a long time chewing. He does his best to be a clean eater but if anyone addresses him while he’s eating, he’ll automatically respond and start spilling everything around him. He’s not good at multitasking when he’s eating and forks and knives don’t help, so he alternates between spoons and his fingers.

Bim: He’s a burger connoisseur and is often the one to make sure their fast food was assembled correctly before everyone eats. He’s a very picky eater and, like Host, notices if even one thing is out of place. When he finds one place that serves his food exactly how he likes it, he becomes one of their best customers. He loves company while he eats, even if he takes up most of the conversation and forgets to actually eat until his companion is finished. From there he’s on his own, but he still enjoys the food.

Silver Shepherd: He’s addicted to fruit and cheese; it’s the majority of his meals, especially strawberries and watermelon. His oversized gloves make it really difficult to hold utensils, but he refuses to take them off, so he wraps his fingers up in napkins to avoid stains and just sort of rolls his food around until he can get it in the proper position to pick it up. He’s a really precarious eater because of it, prone to losing a few fruits along the way, but he’ll always clean up after himself, no matter how long it takes.

Edgar: He rarely ever has any sweet foodstuff aside from honey. He prefers heavier foods like baked potatoes, chili fries and meatloaf and he’ll always use his hands unless he’s being forced to sit at the table with the others. He doesn’t talk much when he’s eating unless it’s to gossip or offer a sales pitch and he’s usually the second to leave, after Dark, so he can enjoy his food somewhere else if the table gets too excitable.

King of the Squirrels: He and Wilford share the jams and jellies; he leaves the peanut butter to the squirrels because he doesn’t want them to go hungry. When Wilford isn’t in the mood to share, the King will turn to other dips, like hummus and guacamole, with apples, carrots, and other nuts like cashews and pecans. As far as anyone knows, he’s never touched a fork or a knife in his life and only uses a spoon to scoop the dip.

Jim and Jim: They aren’t picky at all and are still trying to discover their favorite foods, but they haven’t gotten very far; they are incredibly fast eaters and only have the time for TV dinners and coffee between shoots. Most of their meals tend to get mixed together if one has something the other especially likes, and they only ever use disposable utensils thanks to some unfortunate incidents with the metal ones they’ve used in the past.

The Nightmare Part 3

Pairing: Yoongi X Reader. (Includes all the boys)

Rating: +15, Angst/Fluff

Warning: Abuse (Sexual, physical and mental); Suicide attempts; Nightmares (ranging from graphic to suggesting); Graphic scenes (Such as the abuse taking place); Triggering; Slight Language; Kidnappings

A/N: This is a fictional piece.  Nothing in this story has to do with BTS or real life.

Plot: You are a collage student that gets taken. You are moved to The Republic of Korea when a war breaks out. You get away and find yourself in the company of Min Yoongi. You must deal with the stress and the memories of what you have gone through.

I wake up with a jolt. I feel myself jump up.

I look around and see that I am not in the house. I know I am in a different house. I look next to me and I see Yoongi sleeping. It looks like he hasn’t moved since I fell asleep. I feel a wave of guilt come over me. I didn’t think he would stay, nor that I would fall asleep on his shoulder.

I slowly lift my head.

Another nightmare, well, more like a memory.

The men, they never stopped coming into my room. They only stopped when they had to go to work. And that was when I learned more and more Korean. I look around, everyone has gone to bed. I see if I can find a clock.

3:34 am.

Another night I cannot sleep. I wonder when the other boys went to bed.

I hear movement from next to me.

“You okay?” He asks in a sleepy voice.

“I’ll be fine,” I say right away.

“Not what I asked, why did you wake up? A nightmare?” He questions.

I look over at him. “Yes, but maybe you should go to your own bed.”

He shrugs, “You fell asleep on my shoulder and I didn’t want to wake you up. Besides I have slept in odder ways.”

I give him a look, “But a bed is better than sitting on a couch…”

“Would you prefer to be alone?” Yoongi raises his eyebrow.

Do I want to be alone? There are still two of the men out there. I am scared that they will come and find me. They must have figured out that I was the one who busted them. I know that I don’t want to be alone.

I slowly shake my head.

He nods his head. I lean back against the couch. I let out a sigh.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do…” I mumble.

“Well, I could help if you want or we can talk about anything else,” Yoongi suggest.

“Tell me about yourself.” I say.

“Um. I don’t really like people. I know for a fact that if I had meet you in daylight I would have just ignored you…” he pauses, “Actually, maybe not. If you had the same pain maybe I wouldn’t have ignored you. I just would have been Min Suga and not Yoongi. That sounds like I have multiple personalities. But I just want to help you.”

I slowly nod.

“What about you? Were you at school or anything?” Yoongi asks.

I pause, “I was a theatre creative writing major. I focused more on-stage management and backstage work though…”

“A manager then?” Yoongi raises an eye brow.

“Yes, I was going to be head stage manager of a large show but that got demolished rather fast,” I curl up into a ball.

Yoongi and I fall silent. I have nothing else to say. I don’t normally talk about myself and there are too many painful memories for me to look back on. I became numb a while ago but I know I need to open back up to people. I just don’t know how to talk to him. I was excited to stage manage though, and I got taken, which means my ASM Ashley would have taken over. Something that I know she will kill me for if I ever get the chance to see her again, which doesn’t look to good for me.

I don’t even know what happened to all my friends and my family. I wish I could call them, but knowing my luck all phone connections to America are also cut off, not having a way of talking to them makes me sad.

“Want to listen to music?” Yoongi asks.

I look over to him and he is holding out a head phone to me. I take it. He puts on a song and we sit there and listen to it. I get lost in the music. I hear that it is “Hard Carry” by GOT7 and begin to rap with Mark. I yawn though.

I look over at Yoongi and see that he is typing on his phone. I have no idea what he is looking at. I just watch him for a second. Something in the back of my head is saying that this is too good to be true. But, maybe this nightmare will stop. Something that I have been waiting for a long time. Only I have no idea if it will. There are still two of them out there. But I feel okay here with Yoongi. He looks over at me.

“Is there something wrong? Do you want to put on a song?” He asks.

I shrug. He hands me his phone and I see that it is in all Korean. I stare blankly at the phone.

“Are you okay?” Yoongi asks me.

“I can’t read in Korean…” I finally mumble.

Yoongi looks between the phone and me, “Then how…”

“I was taught, but they were controlling. Being in an environment where it’s only Korean you pick up the language. I started learning Korean in America but I didn’t get very far,” I explain.

“I can help you with that… I speak slowly and I can write pretty well,” Yoongi offers.

I shrug. I mean I could learn the language. But I still would have a hard time with words I didn’t know. Not to mention I would need something explain in English at times. I shrug my shoulder.

“You still seem shaken up, anything I can do to help?” Yoongi asks.

I feel my tummy tighten.

“Maybe some food?” I ask.

We hear a growl. I look at him and Yoongi smiles a little bit.

“Let’s see what we have in the kitchen,” Yoongi stands up and holds his hand out to me.

I look at it and just stand up. I look down at the ground and I hear a right coming from him. I feel bad, but I just don’t want to be touched by people any more. I follow him into the kitchen. I look around and see there is mac and cheese. I pull it out of the cabinet.

I hear a chuckle behind me.

“Comfort?” Yoongi asks.

I nod my head and turn around. He is leaning against the counter and keeping his distance from me. I smile at him, thanking him for standing away from me. He gives me a small smile.

“I like this stuff a lot. It reminds me of my dad and how often he would make this for me,” I reply.

Yoongi pulls out a pot and fills it up with water. My eyes follow him closely. I know he isn’t going to try anything but just him walking around the kitchen is soothing.

“Are you still tired?” I ask.

He shakes his head, “No, I usually only get a few hours of sleep before getting back up.”

“I’m sorry I woke you up…” I mumble.

“I’ll just nap a lot throughout the day. Besides it’s a day off tomorrow. So that will give us time to help you out with everything,” Yoongi explains.

I nod, “And what is your plan so far?”

He simply shrugs, “I have no idea. I am kind of just making this up as I go along.”

My lips tug up a little bit. Sounds about right, and almost something that I would do honestly. We stand there for a few moments in silence while the water boils. I lower my eyes and stare at the ground.

 Yoongi’s POV:

I look around the kitchen. I didn’t turn on many lights because everyone else is asleep, well maybe Jungkook is awake, but I highly doubt it. It’s about 4:30 in the morning. And just like every night it is quiet. Something that I love.

I am happy I left the studio, mostly due to Jungkook asking me to come home since we have the day off tomorrow. He convinced me over much time. So, I packed up and finished what I was doing and walked home. Jin gave me a ride earlier but left with the younger boys.

I was walking when I can across a girl in a small jacket looking over the bridge. And knowing these times, people only go there when they want to end everything. I stood there for a few minutes and just watched her. Slowly she began to stand up and I rushed over to stop her. I pulled her down and I had to let her come here. She seems nice and I want to protect her.

Which isn’t like me. But something about her is what drew me to her. Maybe it was the fact that she stayed on that ledge for a while. Something that most people would walk by for, but I didn’t. I had to know what was going on in her head. Y/N is someone you don’t meet every day and I meet way more people than I would like to.

I don’t want to push the conversation with her. I know what it is like to be forced to talk about what is on your mind. She will talk to me when she is ready, and if that isn’t for months, I am okay with it.

I think I have an idea about how to help her though. She was a theatre major, same as Jin. But she focused on management, and if I remember correctly Manager Kim wanted to bring in an assistant. He wasn’t too sure about it, but it is an idea that he is playing with. Personally, I think we do need someone else, and I have thought like this for a while. They are overworked and don’t really have a chance to be with their families, which is hard on them. So, I think that this would be good for Y/N to do.

“So, how do you feel about helping out?” I finally ask.

She looks up at me from her food. She eats with chopsticks well.

“I… I don’t know… What kind of help?” She stammers.

“Helping out our managers. I mean, I don’t know for sure yet. I can talk to them and see if they would be okay with helping them out. Because I am sure they won’t like you living here with us,” I explain.

There is a pause. She is taking in the information. I can’t tell what she is thinking. She looks down at her bowl of food. I can’t really see her eyes. I turn to my food and take a bite of it. I don’t understand how Jungkook likes this stuff. I can see why Y/N does, she grew up with it. But Jungkook has liked American food a lot, especially since we can’t go there anymore.

“Maybe,” She finally mumbles.

I look up and see she is still looking down.

“Nothing would be set in stone yet, just know that,” I say.

For a moment, I want to slap myself. I don’t want to speak too harshly to her because of the abuse, it’s just a normal thing for me.

“I know,” She looks at me.

I look into her eye. I can see that she truly does. I just want to be careful with her. I know recovery is hard and there are some days where you don’t want anyone around you. Right now, she maybe doesn’t want me around but she is worried about the two men running around that hurt her.

I get angry.

How could two men do this to a woman? I never got that. You should treat her well. I can see how lost Y/N is being in a country where she doesn’t fully understand the language.

I will help her.

How To Be Poor, Written By Someone Who Has Never Been Anything But.

1. Overestimate what is demanded of you. 2. Pride and shame are commodities are for the rich.  You can't afford them. 3. If it is offered strings free, take it. 4. Take samples.  If it's only a bite, it's a bite more than you had before. 5. Dumpster dive.  Great for finding clothes and food.  As stated above, shame is for those that can afford it. 6. Pick bottles.  Even if cans and bottles are worth pennies, that's pennies more than you had before. 7. Pick up spare change you find on the ground. 8. Keep your eyes open for things that can be useful.  Pony-o's, bobby pins, lighters, ETC. 9. Check candy wrappers, bottles, ETC, on the ground, sometimes they're sealed and full. 10. Ask for discounts. 11. No matter how old your kid is, they are always slightly younger than the cut-off age on the discount menu, or bus fare. 12. The library is your friend. 13. Going out is expensive; unless it's free, you're not going. 14. Budget. 15. Figure out when the sales are, then go shopping, even if that means going to eight different stores.  You may only end up saving ten cents, but that's more than you had. 16. Find out when your store is having sample days, senior appreciation day, ETC.  This goes for banks, store openings, whatever. 17. Go to the food bank.  You have to ask if they have any baby formula, pet food, ETC.  They are not mind-readers, they need to know your specific needs.  You also have to ask for peanut butter because some people have allergies. 18. When going to the food bank see if they have seasonal hampers. 19. See if nearby places of worship givie out hampers. 20. Go through alleys, keep your eyes open for things that you can use or sell in a yard sale or pawn shop. 21. When you go to the blood bank, whether you donate blood or your turned away, you're still allowed to have a drink and a doughnut/muffin.  Sometimes they'll let you take one for the road. 22. When getting free soft furniture, Lysol it.  You need to kill the bacteria and bugs in it if there are any. 23. Find out what local weeds you can eat.  Dandilions and knot-weed are both edible, but be careful because people spray them.  Every part of dandilions are edible.  You can make a coffee substitute with the root. 24. Ask people if you can pick fruit from their trees, promise to be gentle with the trees.  The same with rhubarb. 25. Give up smoking, coffee, sweets the most part, instant meals. 26. Learn to cook. 27. See if you can make it.  Generally it's cheaper if you can make it yourself. 28. $3.25 for a loaf of bread, and $6 for ten K of flour, $4.70 for a jar of yeast.  That will make about twenty loaves and you'll have enough yeast for the some of the next month. 29. Use old fashioned rolled oats.  They're healthier than quick oats and taste better. 30. If you're friendly with neighbours, when you're making your yummy homemade bread, see if you can sell them a loaf for, say, fifty cents.  It will help you recoup your losses. 31. Sometimes expiration dates mean precisely jack.  Be willing to risk getting a little sick to figure out how far past the date you can go.  *Note* If the meat is greenish, the eggs smell funny, ETC, don't eat it, you will die.   Unless the milk is actually mouldy, just use it in cooking. 32. Even if it's discounted, don't buy bloated or rusty cans.  You will die. 33. All stores, especially convience stores, throw away perfectly good food, I.E., jars of Cheez Whiz.  DON'T CLIMB IN TRASH COMPACTORS. 34. Waste is a sin.  Supper before last is still supper unless it went bad.  You have a frying pan for a reason. 35. Just because there is a bad spot on a piece of fruit or whatever, it does not mean that it, itself is bad.  You have knives for a reason. 36. Find one pot meals, because you don't have many dishes.  Cast iron frying pans are pricy, but they last generations.  You can fry bacon or bake a cake in it. 37. Find out the difference between an investment and a splurge. 38. In winter  you'll find a lot of winter and clothes.  Check for bugs before claiming it, wash in hot water. 39. When you can, store up some stuff before having a yard sale.  Check bylaws where you live. 40. Just after Christmas, Channuka, there's a lot of ornaments, clothing, plastic trees in good repair, thrown away. 41. If you are harrassed while picking garbage, you are, in most places, legally allowed to do that as long as if it is not on their property.  If they say that they're going to call the cops, tell them the phone number.  If you're worried about being harrassed by the cops, it generally takes about seventeen minutes or longer for them to show up.  *Note* In nicer neighbourhoods, the reaction time is quicker, conversely, the worse the neighbourhood, the reaction time is lower. 42. There are three modes of transport; bus, bike, foot.  Taxi's are for emergencies only. 43. Offer services that you are capable of doing.  Shovelling snow, baking bread, ETC. 44. Sometimes offering to help can be very rewarding; you maybe fed, you might be able to claim the bottles after a dance, or take left-overs home. 45. Eat other people's leftovers if you're not squimish. (Don't eat where their mouthes have been, eat around that spot.)  *Note* If you're caught doing this in a restaurant, you will be booted. 46. When you move into a new place, do check spaces for forgotten goods.  Same when getting second-hand clothes. 47. Wear your clothes until they disintergrate. 48. Learn to sew. 49. When picking bottles, avoid at all cost bottles with foil balls shoved in the necks.  These are homemade bombs and they will at best severely disfigure you. 50. Go to swap meets.  Start a swap meet. 51. Every place you live will most likely be a slum, and the landlord will screw you seven ways to Sunday, as well as the rentalsman.  You are poor, you don't matter.  Keep fighting though, because sometimes you actually win, and every conquest helps not only you, but others. 52. When checking out a place to move into, take pictures with time stamps if able, and as many witnesses as you can manage, same when you move out.  If you can get the landlord to sign something that state they know what's wrong with the place, all the better. 53. If you have a social worker, Because it's one of your needs and it usually falls within their guidelines, arrange a home visit after you have moved in/out and cleaned the place, but not handed in your keys, get them to come in and walk them through the place, making sure that they note the condition that it is in, because they're going to be your most powerful witness. 54. Know the laws that effect you. 55. If you're a woman, see if there's something like the Elisabeth Fry Association in your area, because if you get arrested, they'll get a lawyer for you as well as assist you to the best of their abilities. 56. The police are not your friends.  They are more likely to screw you over than the prostitute on the corner. 57. Find out what foods/meals are healthy and cheap. 58. Find out who your friends are, and don't always be asking them for a free pass.  They won't be your friends for long if you're a sponge. 59. Coupons are your friends, use them.  Call companies, tell them about the products you like or don't like, and they'll usually send you coupons.  If it doesn't sound like they're going to offer any, ask.  Print them off, even if it means copying the coupon to word and pasting it several times.  Twelve coupons are worth more than one. 60. Always check your till receipt and change, sometimes mistakes are made and you get charged for the wrong thing.  Sometimes you'll get reimbursed for the trouble. 61. Bargain.  Don't be afraid to ask for things. 62. Junk food is not always cheaper than healthy food.  Shop around. 63. Find out what you can live without, and then cut it out of your life. 64. Being a vegetarian is generally cheaper than not, because meat is expensive.  But to save money should not come at expense to your health. 65. You're kids do not need the latest toys.  You can make toys.  Yes, they're cheap and they look it, but sometime a wrapping paper tube is as much fun as a lightsaber.  Bonus points for colouring like one. 66. Try different foods, sometimes peanut butter, molasses, banana sandwiches are cheaper than mac and cheese. 67. Spices are your friends, buy them in large pouches and use them in every meal.  Keep out of humidity. 68. Bulk is somtimes cheaper, not always.  Price check and compare. 69. Lists are going to be a common theme, make lists to be aware of what's best for everything. 70. Can labels, paper from bills, ETC, maybe good to have on hand if you need to make lists or you have bored kids. 71. Skimp on how much electricity you use as well as water. 72. If you have sweaters, use them rather than turning on the heat. 73. If you have a large family or a lot of friends, communal living is optional. 74. Marriage is not always the cheaper option; it is a myth that two peopl eat as cheaply as for one. 75. Children are expensive, so are pets.  But if you do have children, you have to always put them first, even if that means you go a little hungry.  You brought them into this world and decided to keep them, so you have to do what is best. 76. In winter, cover the windows and sometimes the doors to keep cold out.  If it is very cold and there are gaps around the doors/windows, twist plastic bags up and shove them in the gaps, using a chopstick or pencil.  Flat-headed screwdrivers work fairly nice as long as you are careful to not wreck the bag.  Careful to not stab yourself; Band-Aids are expensive. 77. If you need a tool, but you don't have it, get it from the store, be careful to not damage the package too much or the tool, then return it to the store with the receipt.  *Note* Be sure of the store's return policy beforehand. 78. If you're buying clothes, always state that they are for someone under thirteen, there's only half the tax. 79. Clothes for kids and men are almost always cheaper than women's clothes.  If you are petite, always go for the kids clothes because it is usually under twenty.  *Note* Men's jeans hug your butt better. 80. If you are heavier, go for mens clothing; they're generally better quality and there is less stretch to them. 81. Be careful when buying second-hand things because they are often in bad repair and most places don't do refunds. 82. The Salvation Army is extremely expensive, they don't help people, and they are bigots.  They also take the best items for themselves without paying. 83. To test to see if things are in good repair; 1.) The Tooth Test: Take the thinnest overlap of fabric between your front teeth and give a small tug, don't yank.  If it tears easily, the fabric is rotten.  2.) The Finger Test: If you find a small hole, stick the tip of your finger in it and push.  If the fabric breaks apart easily, the fabric is rotten.  3.) The Pull: If you grab the article with both hands, gently pull, if it comes apart easily, it is rotten.  4.) The Seam Check: Put your hands on either side of the seam and grip it firmly.  Pulling in opposite directions, listen carefully for the seams to make a popping sound.  If the popping comes rapidly, it is rotten.  You also shouldn't be able to see the seams very well. 84. When buying new things, check to see the value of it first.  It is not cheaper if you have to buy five things to last the life of the name brand thing.  When buying clothes, pull at the seams.  If you can see them easily, it is too cheap.  When buying shoes, not only do you wear them around the store for about half an hour, pry at the sole to see how easily it separates from the body of it.  Pull on the laces if it starts rippin through the shoe.  Also, if you can touch the toe of the shoe to the heel, it's cheap and it will not last.  *Note* If you are in a wheelchair, buy whatever is the cheapest, most comfortable shoe. 85. Ugly does not mean bad, and this can be applied to most aspects of life: Fruit, clothes, vehicles, housing, animals, dates... 86. If you're eating at a restaurant and you're made to wait for a very long time or the food sucks, complain to the manager; you may be able to have a discount or a free meal. 87. Carbohydrates are not the enemy, if you do not have near two thousand calories a day, you will be constantly exhausted, sick, irritable, ETC.  Eat food that has a high calorie index, and you will feel better.  *Note* Junk food generally has high calorie count, but you will get sick if you try to live off of potato chips.  A bag of potatoes is a better deal than a bag of chips. 88. At some point, you will have nothing but condiments in your fridge.  There is no shame in a ketchup sandwich, or a mayo sandwich. 89. Mayo is more expensive than Miracle Whip, but it tastes better and is better for you.  You can make your own mayo that costs about fifty cents. 90. Cheez Whiz is expensive, and is not worth it. 91. Store brand is not always the best option. 92. Dry beans last forever and is very healthy.  They are cheap. 93. Dry your food.  Freezer burnt food has no food value, but most of the time, drying the food concentrates the nutrients.  When drying food, moisture and air are your enemies.  If you have a food processor, powder the food and then you can use it to suppliment your meals. 94. Buy food when it's cheap. 95. The cheapest pet food is mostly filler and will make your pet sick, and they will eat more of it because they're not getting the food they need.  Middle of the road is not the best, but it's better than the least. 96. Teflon is poisonous; if you're pans are flaking, don't use them. 97. Tin has lead in it, don't use tin pot and pans. 98. Soup is the food of peasants.  Suppliment it with bread. 99. Drink tap water.  Filter it if you need to, but don't buy bottled water.  The refund you get on the bottles doesn't make up for the amount you paid for it. 100. If you buy soft drink, get the cans.  In the long run it's cheaper.  You generally get about half a liter more.  It's also better for you and the environment. 101. If you've got fluffy animals, brush them out and collect the hair.  Spin it into yarn and make things out of it.  You do enough for your pet, make them do something for you. 102. Alcohol and drugs might seem like a good way to get your mind off your troubles, but it is too expensive not only right now, but later on. 103. Put things in your bread; pumpkin puree, mashed beans, oatmeal, tomato paste, dry fruit and nuts, ETC.  It's a great way to suppliment your diet. 104. If you're finding your place is dry in the winter, put a can or a pot on the stove full of water.  Have the burner on low.  Change the water out once in awhile, and change out the can because it will get gross.  TURN OFF THE BURNER WHEN YOU LEAVE OR GO TO BED.  *Note* If you put spices, favourite smelling liquid soap in the water, it will scent the place too. 105. Brown bag your lunches. 106. If you can afford a Christmas tree, look at plastic trees (an investment), or if that's too expensive still, little trees, you can usually get them at the dollar store.  If that's still too expensive, get some cardboard, cut out the tree and hang it on the wall. 107. You don't need a microwave; most things can be reheated on the stovetop or in the oven.  *Note* If it's for, say, one slice of pizza, eat it cold.  Don't run that mother for just one small thing. 108. Utilize things to their fullest capacity. 109. You don't need to buy Ice Melt and other expensive products.  Go to the dollar store, get some salt and use that. 110. Vinegar and baking soda cleans things, and kills bugs and weeds. 111. Don't buy ice.  That's just stupid. 112. Grow what you can; herbs, tomatoes, carrots, weed, ETC.  Look at websites (using library computer), and they'll tell you how to do cutting, splicing, hydroponics, ETC. 113. Corvids are your spirit animals; scavenge. 114. Look at doomsday prepper websites, they know how to make everything from soap to smokehouses to temporary shelters. 115. Be prepared to be homeless at some point in your life. 116. A lot of landlords won't let you have anything other than curtain to hang over your windows, so either jury-rig plain sheets to be curtains, or go to the dollar store for shower curtains. 117. Look at stir-fry recipes and ramen recipes, you can take inspiration from them. 118. If you see something old and neglected in someone yard and it looks like something you can use, be polite and ask if they are using it, or if you can have.  You might get it for free, or for a few bucks. 119. No matter how horrible life is going for you, try to be polite; people are more likely to help you if they remember you as nice. 120. In cooking, use everything; if you have blood, throw it in soup, gravy, pot roast, ETC.  Use organ meat in spreads, gravy, ETC.  If you cook bacon or other greasy foods, save the grease and spread it on toast.  Use the liquid from canned food in soups. 121. Mosquitos are repelled by citrus and attracted by sweet.  If you eat an orange (navels are usually the cheapest), break the skin up and rub the oil on your skin.  It will cause your skin to tan slightly. 122. Vitamins are bull for the most part.  Spend that money on real food. 123. If you give gifts for birthdays or holidays, find small things on discount throughout the year or make gifts.  (Some families, buying presents on the cheap or for free is a point of pride.) 124. Set a budget for the holidays and birthdays so that only a certain amount is spent. 125. Don't use fabric softener, it ruins your clothes.  If you must soften your clothes, throw in wool balls.  This will also make things less static-y. 126. If you need an animal companion, either find a stray or go to the ASPCA.  *Note* All animals need to see the vet occasionally, so keep this in mind.  If you can barely afford care for you, you can't afford a pet.  Also, some vets have a pay program so you can pay a set amount monthly. 127. Don't buy a vehicle on payments. 128. Don't take out loans, not even with family members. 129. Don't use money marts. 130. Get rainchecks on sold out items that are on sale. 131. You can make your own booze with yeast, sugar, and water.  If you want it to taste better, use juice instead of water.  You don't need a still. 132. If you're capable of walking, park a few block away from where there are meters and walks the rest of the way to your destination.  This may require a bit of mental arithmatic to see if you're not actually walking more or at least halfway. 133. Transit passes are generally cheaper than tokens. 134. Some transit offices if you prove where you lay on the poverty line, you will get a discount. 135. Your child does not need to go to ballet, gymnastics, karate, hockey, ETC.  But they do need to go to the park and have interactions with not only you, but other kids. 136. See what free programs there are for kids. 137. Field trips cost money, so if you hear one is coming up, see how it impacts the child's education.  Sometimes they don't need to go, sometimes their grade is depending on participation. 138. Five buck can be cheap for somethings, and it can be too much for others, figure out what that means to you. 139. Au Natural is the best and cheapest look you can go for. 140. Home-methods for certain things don't work, so be sure to figure out what does and doesn't exist before you try anything.  I.E., certain homemade make up, hair bleach, ETC. 141. If you're making something for the first time, do it in a small batch to see if you like it or if it even works. 142. Just because it's not photo worthy, doesn't mean it isn't servicable. 143. If you throw away perfectly good food because it wasn't to your taste, you're not hungry enough. 144. Make cookie dough ahead of time and freeze it for when you want something nice.  It keeps for about six months. 145. If you insist on waxing, look up sugar wax recipes.  Omit the lemon juice that most of them call for and just use sugar and water.  If it gets overcooked, cool it down and add more water before reheating it.  It won't smell good, but it will still work. 146. You can make things ahead of time, so do what you can. 147. If you have vacation time, save your money.  Aruba is not worth going broke for, and if you did travel, you would just be helping destroy their societal infrastructure.  (Aruba puts more money towards tourism than schools, because most of the money they get is from tourism.) 148. You can make simple candies with vinegar and sugar, and if you don't have vinegar, you can make it with water, sugar, and a little bit of flavour, like cinnamon. 149. If you've got kids, or you're hungry and got nothing, make toast, put butter on it and a sprinkle of sugar and cinnamon. 150. If you've made pie and you've got left over crust, cut it into pieces and sprinkle sugar and cinnamon on it before cooking it. 151. You can make furniture out of carboard. 152. You can make furniture out of discarded pallets. 153. It's illegal to take milk crates, but if you find any, they can be invaluable.  If you have eight of them and a plank of wood, you have a table.