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jazeswhbhaven · 2 months

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I just have a massive brain rot, cause, what if Minhyeok and MC have a strained relationship at the start of the game? This is due to MC's past callousness and learned helplessness that affected Minhyeok badly in the past after high school or something but years of arguments led to the estrangment of their friendship. This time instead of continuing to coddle MC to high heaven (the guy admitted to "raising" MC) and possibly ruin himself if MC doesn't come back from Hell, he somewhat moves on to focus on his life (or activate his rizz and charms at full capacity). He still cares deeply for MC of course, and he still loves them (though whether it is romantic or platonic depends), he helped them find an apartment and a stable job, sometimes helping them with money issues if they're low on cash, and even drives them to visit their parents' graves every year. However, seeing how MC not changing even after years of him letting them figure their life out and would likely let themself rot if he didn't check up on them from time to time, it is really sad and difficult to watch since Minhyeok is probably the only one MC has left. The day Gabriel killed him was also the day he planned to cut things off with MC. Also, instead of seeing Minhyeok as a brother/best friend/caretaker 2.0, MC has this guilty intense romantic attraction to him but never tells anyone about it. Like could you imagine??? How much of a asspull it could be??? For me, this would make MC's feelings somewhat more complex instead of just horny and flip-flop determination. Hell fulfilled every one of their fantasies and wants, they have everyone's love for them on the silver platter, they don't have to change and live in lavish and comfort for the rest of their life. But they love Minhyeok, and their feeling for him are more genuine than what they have with any other devils, they actually yearn and long for him, the fact that Minhyeok continues to help them when he can wash his hands off their mess, he still there for them, and they also wanted to have that perfect life with Minhyeok.

PS: Sorry for the words vomit but I need to let a bit of it out and please ignore it if it bother you (｡•́︿•̀｡)

Ahhh anon, I had to take a moment to read this a couple times (brain does a thing ┗(･ω･;)┛) so now I can fully digest it and discuss this!!! It would be so much more realistic I think to have MC harbor these feelings for Minhyeok because let's face it, they're still human and he did stick around and take care of them. In your scenario, he was close to getting exhausted, and that's reality. While he may care for MC deeply, there's a limit to everyone's capacity to take care of a grown adult, and unless you want that role for the rest of your life, you gotta have tough love and set boundaries. MC being in hell and learning that they are receiving unconditional love from entities beyond their understanding and yet still pinning for Minhyeok would ALSO be realistic. Because MC is the vast majority of folks who would be like "damn, this is nice and all but I wanna go home..." especially you know since they aren't dead, they're just in Hell doing a task under Satan's contract. Once done, they do have the option of going back. Knowing this fuels the fact that MC would miss Minhyeok and have someone who genuinely stuck it out for them, who stayed there and saw them at their worst, and had realistic reactions. The devils are nice and maybe not so nice all the time, but they aren't human. They pretty much expect MC to be lewd and do whatever it is that humans do, and they'll just brush it off because it's Hell. Minhyeok is that dose of reality. There ARE consequences, there IS such a thing as tough love, he WON'T baby them forever. In this scenario of yours, I think MC in the game would have more of "I'm just here to do this and go home, don't make my job any harder than it needs to be" kind of attitude. I'm still thinking that canon-wise Minhyeok may be MC's OTP and they will leave Hell in the end to be with him. That's just my guess, because that seems the most likely choice. MC wants that life with him, and will grow old and be with him as normal while still thinking about the devils they met as a distant memory. AH sorry to make this sorta angsty ;.;

#whb #jwhbasks❓#whb minhyeok #ah yes MC and Minhyeok discussions #love those realistic emotional struggles tho

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lasi-nariyoyo · 7 months

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Can u do stray kids future spouse please

Stray Kids' future spouse

What is this reading about? I'm extremely late for this reading, sorry anon. Better late than never I guess lmao

I'm not sure if I got your ask right, I looked into a possible important relationship, not all of them are happy or end in a marriage tho!

Disclaimer:

My readings are made for fun and you should read them for fun too. So don't take them seriously.

Bang Chan

Rev 7of wands, page of cups, 5 of swords

I think they might meet in a moment when he isn't really actively looking for a relationship. Maybe he just had a painful break up and he isn't even thinking of dating another person because he's still healing from his past wounds. It's a relationship that brings good vibes to Chan, this person has a good influence on him, at least at first. I feel as if Chan might have high expectations on his partner, or he has a very idealized opinion on what their relationship will be like, which might not be what the other person want. It's possible he wanted a more serious relationship while the other person wanted to keep it casual, or maybe he wants to get married and have a family while the other person would like to go slower. I don't think this causes big arguments, this might be a lasting relationship, but Chan is the enthusiast of the couple, while the other tends to be more realistic which might frustrate him.

Lee Know

The high priestess, 3 of cups, 4 of wands

It seems like a very happy relationship. His future spouse is someone close to him, like a friend. It's like those dramas with a friend to lovers dynamic. It's a relationship that might end up with an actual marriage. This is probably the best set of cards I pulled in this reading, if there's one who will have the typical fairytale love. It's possible that Minho might be the one who falls first and he might have to pursue the other person. They have a great chemistry, mentally and physically. 3 of cups and 4 of wands indicate that his relationship will be public, I assume he'll reveal it at some point and he won't meet too much criticism. As I said, an actual marriage is highly possible (the most likely out of all the members), all the people close to him will be happy and support his love story.

Changbin

Rev devil, the lovers, rev the wheel

I feel it's a very casual relationship at first, based on casual encounters and sex, but with time they develop actual feelings. It won't be an easy relationship though, developing feelings isn't something they were expecting and probably not something they see as a positive change at first. It's possible Changbin is the kind of person that prioritizes his work, I get a very "this is so bothersome" energy from the cards and he might think that a serious relationship is just an unnecessary obstacle. I feel like it's the kind of relationship that will end like it began, smoothly, no real drama, just the sadness that comes whenever something that could've been good ends. It's possible the other partner wants a serious relationship or wants to create a family and decides to leave because Changbin can't provide it.

Han

The lovers, 2 of swords, rev 3 of swords

It's not an easy relationship. There are intense feelings, but also a lot of pain. I feel it's the kind of situation that makes you think that "love isn't enough to make a relationship work". There's sincerity and love, but a lot of troubling emotions too. They might be prone to drama or they might struggle with their mental health or they might overthink a lot or have expectations that aren't easily met. They are both good people, but not in a great place mentally and this might cause pain to the both of them. I feel that they might work on it though since they don't want to let go of each other. I can't see a real outcome though. For other members I can more or less perceive if the relationship will last or not, or how unhealthy it truly is for them. In this case there's a lot of fogginess. Imo, I feel that if they're able to heal their insecurities, they might be a good couple, but right now I feel a lot of complex emotions between them.

Hyunjin

King of cups, the high priestess, rev the magician, rev 3 of swords

It seems like a very good relationship at first that gets ruined later on. Both are mature people, in a good situation from pretty much every point of view (economically, mentally, physically etc.), they work so well together. However, I think something big will happen that will disrupt completely their relationship. One of them might cheat or fall in love with someone else. Or their relationship will suddently go public, creating a big scandal that will cause one of them to think a break is the best solution. In any case, one of the two will feel betrayed because the break up is one-sided and they will probably need to work a lot to heal from it.

Felix

Rev the fool, the hermit, rev 8 of pentacles

It seems like a relationship he jumped in without much thought. Not because it's a casual relationship, I think there are real feelings from the beginning, but it's possible he's miscalculating something. For example he might end up in one of those "matching items" scandals, so he might be a bit careless and he might fail to protect his privacy. I don't think this might mean the relationship will be ruined though, I still feel a positive energy coming from the cards. He just needs to take things more seriously. It might also point to him being uninterested in marriage and other "grown up" stuff like buying a house or becoming parents or something like that. He isn't against it either, he just doesn't think about that stuff, maybe because he feels like it's too early for that. It's like his relationship has this "we're young and in love" vibe, he doesn't think much about the future.

Seungmin

Rev 8 of wands, the devil, 5 of swords, rev king of pentacles

A relationship that doesn't really begin well. It's all about sex and addiction to the other person. Felix' reading gave me a very bright and young vibe, but here I see only dark emotions and unhealthy adults. There might be jealousy and one of them (or both) is possessive. This is the kind of relationship that shouldn't end up in a marriage or in a long-term relationship, it will lack stability, they don't have a good influence on each other. I don't really see any hint of a possible break up, so it's possible they might linger in this relationship for a long time. Contrary to Han's situation, there's nothing that can be saved here.

The lovers, rev 5 of swords, 4 of wands, rev 5 of cups

I think it might start as a good relationship that might end up in an actual marriage like Lee Know, but it will relatively soon end up in a break up. I see genuine feelings between them and the desire to make things work. Some problems may arise, but they want to stay together and might think that marriage (or another big change like living together) might help them to shake things up and begin a new happy chapter of their life. It's possible this problem might be his relationship going public without his consent and to peace everyone he'll rush in a marriage. But this won't bring happiness, new problems and misunderstandings might arise and this will lead them to choose to break up.

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rahleeyah · 1 year

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“I have always felt that Amanda sees Liv as weak but that is another post”

Wow I never thought of that. I would love to read your thoughts on that IF you ever make a post about it.

I am wondering tho: do you think there is a real possibility of either a kiss or love confession (both?) in these finales between EO?

Since two of y'all asked for this I'm gonna do this first and then circle back to your second question lmao

It's the eye rolling, the exasperated sighs. Mocking Liv's dinner parties with Nick and rushing to get away - never seeing what those parties were about, only resenting the way it intruded on her life. She can't wait to leave Liv's ceremony when she makes Sergeant; she doesn't care about Liv in that moment, or what that moment means to Liv or how few people she has to share it with (admittedly that particular incident is at the height of Amanda's gambling problem). "I don't have to pay people to listen to me talk about my problems." The whole thing in part 33, where she is exasperated by Liv's internal struggle - where she is once again blaming an abuse victim for what she's suffered, refusing to see things from the victim's perspective, insisting that the whole thing is black and white and frustrated that Liv has any doubts. And she only backs down bc Liv throws Lewis in her teeth - crucially it isn't that Liv has made such a strong argument that Amanda now has changed her perspective. Instead Liv is now emotional and has essentially pulled a trump card Amanda can't argue against. The way she hides things from Liv, acts like Liv's attempts to check in on her/care for her are so annoying that she goes out of her way to avoid Liv's care for her. There is a dismissiveness to her responses; she doesn't agree with Liv and she doesn't really hear her. There are times, of course, where they comfort one another, and she knows that Liv survived Lewis, but the therapy line in particular smacks of like...she thinks Liv should have survived it better.

She does respect Liv, but it's a respect with caveats. She respects Liv, but she doesn't like it when Liv gets touchy-feely; that's soft, and Amanda doesn't respect soft. Doesn't like it when Liv comes to a different conclusion, like she doesn't think Liv is hard enough/realistic enough to see things as they really are (to see them Amanda's way). She looks uncomfortable nearly every time Liv is warm/kind to her.

And I'm not saying like "this is bad character work", bc it all fits neatly within Amanda's known character. Amanda is a lil mean and standoffish and self destructive and fucked up over her childhood - as are they all, really, fucked up over their childhoods, and Liv can be a lil mean and standoffish and self destructive, and Amanda has seen some of that but she had more of the 2.0 hand-on-heart retconned Liv than anything else, and she didn't react positively to that a lot of the time.

I could probably come up with more specific examples given more time, but I am observing Sammy/Henry time rn and this is what I have off the top of my head

As to the first anon's second question - I do think that both a kiss or an I love you are very possible, but I won't say likely mostly bc I don't wanna jinx anything 🤣🤣🤣 anything could happen anon life is chaos!!!

#anonymous #e.o asks #s.vu

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bonesandthebees · 9 months

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hi bee I AM FINALLY READING UR QSMP ONE SHOTS WOOOO i've literally been meaning to forever 😭😭😭

it's just a constant war of procrastination between wanting to properly catch up on qsmp (even tho ik i could totally understand them without watching !! i just wanna get a feel for how the ccs act n stuff in character :o) vs needing to read all of ur fics .

anyways the procrastination of my essay due in two days has chosen for me LMFAOOOWAEFIJAWKE (don't worry i will work on it... just after a nice treat from ur latest one shot ^-^)

DUDEEE THE WAY YOU DESCRIBE THE OFFNESS OF THE EGGSOWEAJAOWE THAT'S SO GOOD YOUR WRITING IS SO GOOD

dadza knows his egg children :( i will cry i will sob

i loveee how you added in them speaking through sign language, that's so cool man !!! aaaaa and how personal it feels to both of them i'll cry eueueue

She was a natural-born storyteller, just like Wilbur.

SCREAMS !!! FJOEAWOIWEOKIAWELO

He’d stared at the writhing mass of wires and binary code that wore his son’s face, and slammed his axe straight into its chest. Its blue eyes had turned green as lines of code ran behind them, only to fade to black once it was dead.

DUDEEEE THAT'S SUCH A FUCKING COO LINE, THAT'S SICK !!! /POS

the IMAGERY ohmygod

Phil hadn’t felt anything but rage when he drove that axe into its chest. But maybe he should’ve felt more.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWJEFOIAWELWKE I AM NOT OKAYFWAOIRJEKWA OHMGOYDDWAOJAWKLE

IM GONAN CRYRYAHWORAJWEOIAWEJAOIAWRI DADZAAA :((( I LOVE PHIL SM

RAHHHSS THAT ENDING WAS SO CUTE:((((AWEFJAWEIOAAWEALKEW WE STAN HIS CONFIDENCE AMEN sobbingggg cryingg wailinggg

okay . maybe i will attempt my essay now that i've been refreshed with bee fic awesomeness o7

oh god no not an essay I hope you're able to get it done in time 😭

aaa thank you I had so much fun describing all the little ways the kids could've looked off in that stream. I was going for an uncanny valley kind of thing. there's nothing blatantly wrong, but it's just too many little things that are too perfect to be real.

I also had so much fun describing the sign language. I definitely struggle with writing signing in the sense that I always debate whether to keep the sentences closer to direct interpretations/translations or to lean into the interpretation side of things since the text is an interpretation of what they're saying and isn't exact. but when it comes to describing how someone signs like how their hands move and all I enjoy diving into that because it's essentially how you describe someone's tone of voice, but in a completely different way than what i'm used to. I just love sign language man I need to practice my own signing more

I was very happy with those lines you pointed out :) both the cuteness of the storyteller one, but also the description of phil killing the fake chayanne. I loved imagining how the binary monster chayanne and tallulah could've looked. like were they more magic or robotic? bc a mass of flying binary code technically would look closer to magic in a realistic setting, but I thought a more robotic vibe would represent what it is a bit more accurately

I love phil man I love his complicated feelings towards not having complicated feelings about killing monstrous clones of his own children like he's such a messy guy and keeps his emotions ten feet away from himself at all times i love digging into him

good luck with your essay!!!

#ask #icyfox17 #recognition of the other

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nogenderbee · 9 months

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excuse me, its me the person who randomly apologises, im sorry that i went to saying sorry, i wasn't thinking at all :( but mind if i try your event? If you dont mind of course!

Nicknames for my lover/partner - hmmm, something silly, but if i cant think anything ill just shortened their names :D

Hobbies - writing(like an essay or fiction), drawing(i wanted to try realistic drawings too!), gazing at everyone(im not a stalker I swear I just enjoyed watching people do their own thing) and lastly listening to music!(I got emotional over sad songs ;))

Date ideas - hmm I dont know, something like watching the cinema

Something I hate in others - I dont hate anyone?? Actually??? But if I was, thenn definitely those people who are impatient

Personality traits - patient, like i would wait for my friends to get ready for school even if it costs me getting late(i dont regret anything). And then creativity, I would think of something when i get bored. And lastly im very much easy to talk too!(if you went to a topic abt drawing ill ramble abt art history)

Activities i like - going to art museums!

Activites i dont like - anything sports related

Once again im so sorry for barging your inbox with an apology, but i hope your having a good day!

Hey don't worry! It's all fine ^^ And I'm happy you decided to try this event! So let's get into it darl~

I pair you with...

🥁🥁🥁

Ena Shinonome!

⊱ first, nicknames! She may not show it but she loves all the silly nicknames you came up for her! It'll be kinda hard to shorten her name tho...

⊱ so you both of course enjoy listening to music and drawing! And she also doesn't mind too much if you stare at her! Sure, she was a bit confused at first but she eventually got used to it and now, she doesn't even sometimes notice you gazing at her

⊱ as for date idea, she hoenstly enjoys going to cinema but she does also have a bit better ideas so as long as you're willing to check it out, she'd love to suggest some! But then again, she can't say no to a good movie~

⊱ I think she's still a bit of a patient person since she draws and from what I experienced, patience is absolute key

⊱ and now traits! She absolutely loves your patient and creative side! Especially creative one tho, after all whenever she struggles with her art z she can come to you! But of course you can count on her as well! She also loves to just sometimes ramble with you~

⊱ and finally, you both enjoy going to art museums! You can be sure that she'll try to study few all painting and she'll study the ones that catched her eye for a bit longer. She also will try to pay attention which drawing you liked for future projects~

You and Ena were now walking back from movie date, this time you picked a movie and it was really nice that you both enjoyed it just as much!

On your way back tho, Ena noticed photo booth and she just couldn't help herself and give it a try! Of course she payed for it, after all she just wanted to have a small memory from this date~

"Look at this! Don't we just look cute~? I bet people will love it too! Oh, you won't mind if I post it on my socials... will you?"

She was still showing you the photos and you only could see how excited she was for having these. She almost literally had stars in her eyes! But of course she still won't post these photos if you don't want to so choice is really yours~

❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉

#pairing #project sekai #colorful stage #project sekai colorful stage #x reader #project sekai x reader #colorful stage x reader #project sekai colorful stage x reader

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lucyandthepen · 1 year

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I just discovered lesson on style and I cannot believe that I never knew its existence until today like really its one of the best series I've ever read. Like the banter is so on point that there were times that my ass laughed out loud at 3 am like seriously I love how the characters are flawed esp the mc like I don't think I've read an mc who is as blinded by her crush and thinks he is worlds away from her reach ( which people may think is rare but unfortunately common in high schools) so like this fic was a breath of fresh air and I think it's fairly obvious that jeno doesn't genuinely have feelings for mc or is that just me? I think it's like he likes being loved and is it just me or does he have some shady past or like is he struggling bc from what jaemin said I think he has stuff to deal with than actually have a real relationship rn

And I don't know how the mc is so dense not to see renjuns crush on her??? Like he deserves better and probably should move on (but I think he's similar to mc in the fact that he is resigned to just like her from the sidelines) but like he could have been a better friend too but I think he's working hard on that( but really the friend part goes for mc too tho to a smaller extend imo)

But my favorite character has to jaemin like he just makes her so comfortable without being overbearing which I think is best if mc actually wants a proper relationship but like only time will tell like I get this small vibe as in jaemin might like her but we don't know for sure.

I didn't realize I just rambled on for this long so I should probably stop rn so yeah your story really gave the joy of valentines day ( well the day after valentines at this point) for my single ass so thank you for sharing your gift with us

Sending you lots of love and warm hugs

my gosh... i did not expect such an amazingly detailed response to alos! first of all, thank you for messaging me with this! knowing what people think / feel about my works is always so helpful to me as a writer.

i think jeno's interest in mc is in her perosnality and of course her devotion to him — i feel like at that age (or even until now), if you kinda know someone is obsessed with you (in a cute harmless way, ofc), you kinda tend to want to probe? see why/maybe unintenionally pander to it? i won't say that he doesn't have a smidgen of interest in her, but the foundation of it is definitely unstable (which is funny because i do think it mirrors mc's interest in him because WHY DOES SHE LIKE HIM? it's just projection station at this rate).

mc IS very dense, in a very frustrating but rather (if i may say so myself) realistically childish way; i feel like people at that age just tend to be one-track minded most of the time, and it's very rare for people to be objective/to look at the big picture. both renjun and mc have a ways to go in terms of their friendship, but i will say their flaws are not really huge sins and just these immature flaws you kind of expect from people when they have little to no true emotional maturity... as mature as i felt i was in high school, i know i was emotionally still Not It LOL

jaemin ................................................... is one of those kinda mature individuals? at that age? i feel like him vs jeno is a key point because jaemin is alr at the cusp of exiting this small-minded, high school setting whereas jeno is still kinda vibing with it. i do think his personality is the best to have a relationship with, but time will truly only tell :^)

anyway, thank you for ranting to me and thereby allowing me to rant! i really appreciate your message and hope i can update alos really soon too!

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sherbet-shark · 2 years

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Of course! Your hard work and passion absolutely shows in your writing, and it is such a delight to read <3 I hope you don’t mind me replying to both of your responses in this one ask, just to keep things a little cleaner, so I will be referencing both of them.

God, I love references like this, like what you did with Kiki’s Delivery Service. I haven’t watched the whole movie in full (just bits and pieces with friends while growing up), and things like this remind me that I need to. I especially like this event and song prompt too because it could be taken in different ways, with the character needing either literal saving or maybe some kind of emotional saving/support. Jack feels like he works super well with both too? I don’t know why he does; I hope it’s not my bias with him being my favorite, maybe it is? XD Everyone in this piece was fantastic too, from Ace getting into trouble to Grim threatening to kick his ass (that part especially left me in a laughing fit because I never knew I needed Grim cursing until now. It’s amazing.)

The beautiful thing about writing is that it’s such a flexible art, if you really think about it! Characters do have their traits and there are “rules” we learn, but with so many angles to approach a character, how much you connect and put yourself into said character and allow the process to simply flow, it’s what really makes each work unique! That’s why I want to say right now, in terms of the people-pleasing thing (and I realize it is easier said than done; working on that myself ><) that it will all be okay, whatever you choose to make. Your writing voice, be it your writing patterns, your process on how you approach a work, how you analyze and see a character: All of it is yours and is what makes art wonderful in the first place. The fact that, say, if I attempted to write Jack, Azul, etc, anyone: It won’t be the same as your version. Maybe there are similar things, such as core personality traits, the backstory observed in a character, how you pick up a character’s syntax, but also there are differing factors such as character interpretation on what we think makes them tick inside! So…keep on writing, keep on loving and using the passion in your works. After all, you are making everything brighter in your own way with your writing! <3

[post 1] [post 2] for context

🥹🥹🥹 I’m sorry for answering this so late,, this month is pretty busy for me asdjkl (>\\\<). Kiki’s delivery service is a really cute movie that tackles a lot of good realistic topics for her character and the world around her. I’ve wanted to drop some references to things to see other people’s reactions to the Easter egg. Sometimes I really like when pieces of media refer to another, if it’s done right xD. I’m really glad that you love this event, Song!

Ngl I brainstormed some lines that I wrote down for the list. Some lines are so vastly different and easy to take into one way of interpretation and the other can be a little open ended and I tried to make some scenarios just in case I was asked those pairings and for fun too! Jack does fit into those two categories fairly well I agree! The one thing I think he’ll have troubles with is being emotive, or showing a vulnerability to people at NRC. I’m sure he’s not all stalwart at home but I don’t think he’s someone making jokes 24/7. And that’s a realistic struggle I can write about him having!! Oh my god Grim cursing like a sailor makes me wheeze 🤣 the idea of a grey cat just letting loose and cussing out Ace is just peak gold xD! Another little tibit I def love sprinkling in.

You’re so sweet song,, andhsiabh. That’s true tho, everyone has a unique take on the characters and like us humans we’re not all the same. We may have similar actions, backgrounds but we all have something that makes us a little different. And maybe it’s because I’ve never written fanfics before, and put myself maybe to a really high bar,, that I kinda doubt the way I write at times when I look over at my previous work 😅. But I’m trying to work at dealing with the people pleasing and being happy with my work. Because as you said, it’s all ours on how we interpret characters. Really, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your amazing encouragement. I’m really happy that you’re such an active reader and I appreciate everything you’re doing. 🫂

#sherbet talks #sherbet talks with friends #haunting song 🎶

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rosewinelonging · 2 years

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so theres something i wanted to talk about. <- HOLY SHIT that sounds like the beginning of a youtube drama apology video LOL its actually not serious at all i just wanted talk abt my writing. an umm this is kinda gonna be personal in a way usually wouldnt put on a porn blog but! who cares lol this is my blog an i can do w/e i want

but first i wanted to say like. how genuinely shocked i am abt the amount of attention i recieved. when i started this blog it was just on a whim. i sat down one day and wrote 70+ posts in my drafts before i unprivated and started posting them. i never expected to get more than 10 followers tops but now, if u combine my followers here an on twitter i have over 70 an ill probably hit a hundred in the next couple months. its not a huge number but for me it honestly is. an then i started the server an got to talking with people an i was like wow! people actually really enjoy in content

i deal with a lot of, not shame but just embarrassment around writing super indulgent stuff because its like shit im really bearing my soul out here lol and also as my followers uve probably noticed a common trend of me taking ideas an expanding on them past just the porn aspect by adding plot or headcannons or trying to realistically come up with ideas of why characters would act in certain ways. so i guess im jus gonna explain why i do that

so first things first: i. actually im not that interested in sex. i mean i like masturbating and i like girls and i wouldnt turn it down its just in general im happy with myself an writing. ive honestly questioned if i was asexual for a long time but i dont like to be bogged down by labels so it just is what it is. my sexual fantasys that actually involve myself are usually me jus cuddling an kissing a girl thats literally about it LOL

so because of that i dont really like porn? or just straight up porn? i mean i DO i watch it on the daily an i love lookin at porn art but honestly i can never get off to it. the only thing that really does it for me tho is listening to [real] girls moaning thats hot as hell i would love to get a bitch beneath me jus to hear her sound like that

but for stuff like reading porn fics, unless its REALLY good i dont bother. most jus feel repetitive an boring. not shitting on other ppls writing thats usually completely fine its jus if its straight sex im not interested. bc im not really in it for the sex! im in it for i dont know how to explain it, the more psychological reasons? i enjoy reading about characters an thinking about why they would things and how putting them in different scenarios would make them change. im less interested in them as a character but rather what they represent.

when i say 'playing dolls' im completely serious.

so i get worried a lot that ppl wont like when i treat it like that because theyre usually so far removed from the actual homestuck elements that i try to avoid those aspects entirely which is cutting out a good chunk of content i make or want to make.

ah hmmm i feel like im gonna get misunderstood. SUDDEN SHIFT OF TOPIC! i am autistic obv which probably plays into why i view things so analytically. im not an emotional person at all despite how my typing style may be. i have a generally detached view of the world which definitely translates to my writing. but another thing i havent talked abt is im severely dyslexic. like bad bad. and it makes writing extraordinarily difficult because it heavily effects the way i think and how i put words together in a negative way. its like everything is completely disconnected and i have to figure out a way to put it together in a way that makes sense hence my sometimes over-convulted word choice, blunt writing and a distinct lack of pretty sentences, and the god awful amount of commas and run on sentences

it leads to me struggling really hard with getting the right words. i dont get writers block but i do get a sentence that looks wrong and leaves me sitting confused for 30 minutes to months at a time.

SO what im trying to say is im very. unconfident in my ability to words things in a way thats clear and well strung together ESPECIALLY in rants like this. i dont know what to do about that but im just putting it out there.

anyway. wow ive noticed this is getting so long lol yea i literally never shut up i have too many thoughts at all times BUT with all that being said i think its far enough down that most ppl stop reading but i wanted to talk abt a few of my longfics that ive honestly been too embarrassed to talk abt now that i have an active audience who actually enjoys my content bc 1. its not what most ppl come here for an 2. it makes me feel pretentious when i talk about it LOL

but if youve scrolled long enough through my blog youve probably seen me mentioned psychostriders au a few times. honestly I HATE IT!! I HATE THE AU AND THE ORIGINAL PREMISE IT SUCKS SOOOOO BAD. but also i love the general concept of murderers an kidnapping an torture etc etc. ive developed a few of my own versions of this au [sorry i cant stress this enough, the whole hitman thing is so fucking stupid. it sucks. severely.] one of which im actively writing and the others i have plans to do so one day.

THE REASON! i havent talked abt it is cause idk guys rnt my brand an ive kept it strider / john throughout all the fics. like i love john. hes my little lad, gender? beyond comprehension to others and himself. he/him lesbian vibes tbh but anyway the fics. arent about the characters. like you couldnt switch out the names with other characters and ive kept 'base' traits but honestly i dont know or really care how close it is to canon. all i DO care about is that its realistic in the situation and regarding the personalilites ive settled on.

but as ive said before these fics arent about the characters as characters but also it is but also the main part about them are the themes. the themes and the meanings and the psychological aspect behind their actions and the utter despair john goes through. im not writing these bc 'oh! this would b hot' cause i could go that whenever. i have a million other stories like that. im writing it because i have an abstract concept i want to look into and im simply using these characters to play the part and explore it

so i guess i just get worried abt talking abt that bc! its hugely self-indulgant and its not rlly abt the porn part. honestly the main fic [which is Scarlet Begonias] has few sex scenes scattered about, nothing in the first half. and god! i love this fic i love writing it and im still in the first drafting phase [i have everything written out in bullet points but i need to actually write it out. tho its only the ending chapters. after that ill get into my second draft.] and im so excited to one day have it written out. and its gonna be GOOD. im going to pour my heart and soul into it im going to rewrite it a hundred times until im satisfied and when im done im going to publish a second version with added authors commentary picking it apart.

it means a whole lot to me because its the culmination of everything i love to write about. but. idk i guess im jus worried abt being that personal now that i have an actual audience bc im a porn writer lol <- THATS NOT TO SAY i dont want to be seen as a porn writer or im annoyed by it bc its literally true but its like. thats my business and then the psychostrider stuff is my pleasure. i dont know if that metaphor makes sense LOL

but i just havent built my audience around this so i truly dont know how u guys would respond. i kind of want to jus never talk about it then one day drop the 50k beast out of nowhere but i have an issue that is 'talks too much' so idk idk

so um i the reason i wanted to talk abt this was i was clearing my drafts and one of the earliest drafts since the beginning of this blog has been me talkin abt the 3 psychostriders fics <- sick in the head fr

heres the post, its slightly dated but w/e:

scarlet begonias:

religion and what it means to be a sinner. concepts of morality and temptation

the motor works in an empty room:

motherhood and the idea of legacy. concepts of inability and paranoia

winter never comes:

self-identity and defiance of systems. concepts of deception and corruption

actually im gonna expand. so scarlet begonias is at its core a story about religious sin and the idea of repenting. what defines a sinner? who gets to punish them if god isnt doing it? is fate avoidable?

winter never comes is about what it means to have humanity. at what point is someone considered to have lost this? this is emphasized by johns fight to keep himself. emphasis on patterns and compliance vs rebellion

the motor works in an empty room is a story about cruelty. its about wanting to make a lasting impact, the relevancy of life, something that is unachievable by most and despised by those who get it.

other details:

motor john is virgin mary while winters john is mary magdelene

winter is a sci-fi dystopian

motors is the most brutal w direct violence / rape an unlike the others wont be done as a multi chapter fic but as a series of interconnected oneshots

these all have playlists an im so fuckin pumped to finish writing them JUST so i can show them LOL i fucking love making playlists and my music taste is actually banger

ok! thats it honestly i always feel a lot better when i write this stuff out. gonna post this an then never acknowledges its existance so if u read this far um good job i guess an have a nice day <33

#putting this under the cut lol #talks #just 1.7k words of me ramblin its not a fic or anything

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welcometogrouchland · 2 years

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Anyway to paraphrase a post of mine from last year months ago: season 4 is sooooo mucb you guys. It's sooo much

#ramblings of a lunatic #tma relisten #HATE thinking abt how long the break i took was even tho i did it for very reasonable reasons #(this season makes me an emotional WRECK)#but 154 is. ough. such a standout #eric is a great statement giver- definitely not unbiased but a nice alternate perspective on things w/ a frank voice and a warmness to him #AND THEN THE POST STATEMENT!!!! FUCKED UP!!!!!#the jmart dynamic is so so so so interesting if i had more brainspace dedicated to them to pull on #i WOULD go over that scene w/ a fine tooth comb and pick apart what makes it so good #but unfortunately my thoughts abt jmart normally start and end at ''i love it when they fight they r so good'' (simplified of course)#(expanding on those: i like the way their relationship is portrayed and characterized. its realistic rarely wholesome and in character-#-AND it makes the themes of the show strong w/ regards to culpability boundaries choice and love despite horror)#but that's not enough for me to pick apart 154 to the degree id be satisified w/#its like. i think jon is very genuine in this scene- which he is throughout a lot of season 4 #when ppl call him soft or kind in s4- that's true but more than that hes genuine. somehow even when hes holding back the truth #he genuinely wants to help Basira even if hes lying when he calls himself trust worthy #he genuinely wants to help ppl even if he also puts himself in dangerous situations to get himself killed #the bits that unnerve us this season are the ones where he demonstrates apathy/denial/etc #because those are ooc to a degree (or at least uncommon at this point) and thus clue us in to jon struggling w/ humantiy #(i.e becoming Something Hes Not. more of a writing thing than a literal story thing i think btw)#but martin basically uses this scene as. an opportunity to air his thinly veiled frustrations w/ jon i think? and to push him away #he says that jon is putting things on him unfairly or turning to martin for selfish reasons #which i think relfects the fact that martin still feels bitter at how transactional their past interactions have been #he puts in all this work to get to know jon as a person and to care about him (which causes him distress now due to jons-#-yknow. everything) and how in s1 jon was an asshole to him- then in s2 he treated Martin better than anyone else-#-but still wouldnt give martin unconditional trust after Martin put himself at risk re: coming clean abt his CV-#-and then in season 3 jon is finally kind but hes mostly not there and most of their interactions revolve around business #so now i think martins like. oh we r coming to me again for answers and service? well. i will not give it to you #also martin is supernaturally depressed and just. wants to go on his suicide mission w/ peter #and wants ppl to Leave Him Alone

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winter-soldier-vibes · 3 years

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hi! request for one where reader struggles w depression a lot but hides it, tho it’s been getting worse recently and only bucky has noticed the small signs. then one night after no one seeing her the whole day or maybe something happened he went to check on her but she wasn’t in her room and he panics only to find her on the roof and just talks her down <3 all the love

Of course! I hope you're okay love❤❤❤. I saw another anon request something a lil similar in my ask box but I can't find it, maybe it got eaten, but I hope you like this!

Word count: 3,400 (ish)

Warnings: suicidal thoughts, depression, close to an attempt, Bucky talks about HYDRA, feelings of worthlessness.

A/N: This deals with very heavy subject matter, please do not read if you are in a dark place. I am here to talk if you want but I encourage you that if you feel this way in ANY way, no matter how severe, to reach out to someone. I also just wanted to say that the way someone talks someone down is never the same, some people may find a different approach more helpful or realistic. I wrote it this way because this is what I feel in my experience would have been helpful to hear. So please, if you don’t think it’s the way someone should talk someone down - please don’t come at me for it.

Overnight

People often don’t notice the small signs. The smiles that don’t reach the eyes, the dark circles from lack of sleep, the laughs that slowly become more forced. People don’t often pick up on those things right away. They happen slowly, as depression will often manifest. It’s rarely ever a flip of a switch shut down, happy one day and sad the net. Anxiety was like that, small things can trigger panic attacks. But with depression, it was this slow ache that grew in your chest, this dull cloud that made everything darker day by day.

These things rarely happen overnight.

You don’t know what caused this episode. You had struggled with depression and would go through some really low episodes before returning to baseline. It was never great, but it was...manageable. Most of the time. Some things could help you predict when you would go into another episode but you felt yourself slipping and you weren’t quite sure why.

You started withdrawing from the team. Subtly, not all at once. That would cause too much concern and the last thing you wanted was to be a burden. Especially with something like this, you didn’t even have an explanation.

It started slow, training on your own, missing team dinners, that sort of thing. If they were going out to celebrate or staying in for a movie you would slip away to your room where you didn’t have to worry about hiding it.

You didn’t want to be alone, you already felt so goddamn lonely. But somehow being lonely and surrounded by people who loved you hurt more.

The team chalked it up to you wanting to be alone, a bad day, being tired, etc. Whatever recycled excuse you gave them didn’t phase them. At least, not at first.

See, people who have experienced similar things will pick up in the small signs that others show. Someone who knows what anxiety is like will often be the first to pick up on nervous habits and tics. Often people notice when someone’s energy is coming from adrenaline and caffeine rather than sleep when they’ve done the same thing. Someone who knows what it’s like to feel hopeless and not want to reach out - they notice the small signs of withdrawing.

He noticed pretty early on the change in your demeanor. You had always been one to keep to yourself but this was different. You always seemed exhausted in a way that sleep couldn’t ever fix. Your laugh wasn’t quite the way it used to be, now forced and short, not the usual bubbly laugh it was.

Most people are able to just live and go about daily functions - eating, sleeping - it just came naturally to them. Surviving was natural to them. But it seemed like you had to put thought and effort into surviving.

Which, you were.

Slowly it became hard to motivate yourself to do the basic things to take care of yourself. You would do the bare minimum because you had to, but even that was starting to take more effort than it should. You were eating less because you just weren’t that hungry, but you still did because you knew if you didn’t you’d get sick eventually. You spent as much time in your bed as possible, but not much of it was sleeping.

Bucky picked up on these things and came up to talk to you about them, but you’d smile and shake your head.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just a little tired I guess.”

You weren’t lying, you were tired - emotionally more than physically.

Tired of more than what the day brought - tired of yourself, of your emotions. Tired of the way you felt so out of touch with yourself, out of control. Tired of how you wanted to get better but no matter what you did, it still came back. You were so tired of being exhausted all the time and there was nothing you could do about it.

You were tired of living this way.

You weren’t necessarily suicidal, it wasn’t that you didn’t want to live. You just didn’t want to live this life, not like this. You were so utterly exhausted day in and day out, every day was about getting to the end of it. Everything seemed pointless and you felt like you were watching life go by but you weren’t living it.

You were surviving. And you didn’t see much of a point to it anymore.

Your mask was cracking. And people were noticing.

Maybe it was when you were falling asleep during mission briefings, or nearly passing out in training because you had forgotten to eat. Maybe it was how no one saw you anywhere that wasn’t necessary. The team passed it off as a bad day or week, something you would get over because you were strong.

But apparently not the strong that you needed to be. You could fight off agents, assassins, you could run for miles. But you couldn’t stop your mind from telling you that life was pointless and you were a waste of space. But the team wrote it off as a bad week. But Bucky knew that this had been going on for much longer than a week.

These things rarely happen overnight.

Too many people were asking you if you were okay, and you weren’t, but you didn’t know how to say it. But you thought that if you had to choke out one more “I’m fine,” you would shatter. And you weren’t ready for everyone to see that.

You stopped coming out of your room unless it was for the bare necessities. You would come out at night for water and food, picking at it in your room so that no one would see you.

But that only made Bucky worry more.

The team, again, wrote it off as you needing some “Alone time” because maybe you just had a “bad day”. Of course they worried about you but they thought that if things were bad, or if there was something you needed help with, you would speak up. Because that’s what you did.

But Bucky was worried. He knew that when someone pushes people away, they may think being alone will help, but it only makes it worse. You may not want to talk to anyone, you may think being alone is what’s best. But it rarely is.

Being alone makes it harder to fight your demons. They can run rampant when given the chance. Being alone is the darkest and loneliest hell, and he knew that all too well.

He wasn’t going to leave you alone in that.

He came up to your room one night, wanting to check on you. He knocked on your door, being met with silence. He knocked again, calling your name, but was again met with silence. He tried the doorknob and found it unlocked, opening the door to an empty room.

Where the hell were you?

You weren’t anywhere else in the tower, so where were you?

Bucky stood there for a moment, confused before he remembered the AI system. “F.R.I.D.A.Y.Where's y/n?”

“I believe that they were heading up to the rooftop about a half-hour ago.”

Bucky’s eyes widened as he sprinted out the hallway and towards the stairs.

---

You looked out over the street, arms crossed over your shivering body. For now, you just looked down at the city below. You chuckled bitterly to yourself. There must have been thousands of people down there, thousands of lives, and you wondered how many people felt the way you did right now. So much hustle and bustle, things to do and places to be. You didn’t know a single person down there, it was just a blur of movement. Yet they all had their own personal stories and hells and blessings and shit that made them who they were.

You wondered how many of them pretended like they were fine.

You were standing closer to the edge than you should’ve been. You weren’t doing yourself any favors. You really shouldn’t be up here, but you didn’t know what else to do. Everything hurt all the time and it was just getting worse. You didn’t know whether or not you were gonna jump but here you were, teetering on the edge. Because no matter how much this hurt you still couldn’t bring yourself to fall forward.

You were scared.

You felt tears sting your eyes, angry, exhausted, everything - you couldn’t do anything right anymore, you felt no purpose, you were tired and scared all of the time. You felt so utterly done with everything, yet here you were with a way out and you were too scared of that too.

You were trapped in your body, trapped in your life, and while you didn’t want to die, you didn’t want it to hurt anymore. It wasn’t that you had nothing to live for. It wasn’t that you had nothing left. You knew you did, you knew the team was there for you. You had more support than you could ever need. But you didn’t know how to use them.

You didn’t even know how this happened. How did things get this bad? You remembered when you were happy, the person you used to be. The person everyone still seemed to think you were. Where did they go? What happened to them? And would you ever be able to be that person again?

Did it even matter? Would anyone even care or notice? They did a great job at ignoring what had been happening. Not that you wanted them to find out in the first place. It was so confusing, you wanted to scream for help, you wanted someone to just fucking notice or something. But didn’t you also answer every single “Are you okay?” with "Oh yeah I’m fine, just a little tired.”

So did you truly want them to know? Did you actually want them to notice or help?

You closed your eyes tightly, shaking your head a little to yourself. It was all so confusing, so frustrating. You didn’t know what to do. You felt completely trapped within yourself.

These things rarely happen overnight. And they never get better overnight either.

You took a breath as you looked down, toes slightly off of the ledge. One step or losing your balance would be all it would take. And then it would be over. Forever. It wouldn’t hurt anymore.

“Y/n?” you heard a calm, albeit nervous voice speak from behind you.

You felt your breath catch in your throat. As you squeezed your eyes shut. “No,” you whispered to yourself.

“Y/n, can you come down from there?”

“Why are you here?” you asked, voice strained with pain.

“Because I’m worried about you,” he said, voice sounding closer.

“I don’t want you to be worried about me! I never wanted anyone to worry about me!” you exclaimed.

“And where did not talking about what was bothering you get you?”

“No one would ever have to worry about me again. Not anymore.”

“No one on the team would ever be able to stop thinking about you,” Bucky started, walking closer to you. He spoke gently, worried he would scare you or you would suddenly jump off. “About how we should’ve worried about you. Everyone would blame themselves and ask themselves if they could’ve helped you if they had seen you were hurting.”

You heard his footsteps stop.

“This isn’t going to solve anything.”

You took a shaky breath. “What else am I supposed to do, huh?” you turned around, back facing the streets below as Bucky stood a few feet in front of you. “Pretend like this is gonna get better? Because it isn’t. I’m so sick and tired of pretending like one day everything’s gonna be okay again. It never stops hurting, it never turns off, and I can’t do it anymore!” you yelled, tears streaming down your face. You shook your head. “I know this won’t solve jack shit and it probably makes me weak, but I’m okay with that. Because I’m past the point of wanting to solve anything. I just want it to stop! Is that too much to ask?!”

“It is if your life is the price!” Bucky exclaimed. “We can’t lose you. You’re a part of this team - this family,” he said a little more calmly, trying to keep his own tears at bay. No one should go through feeling so hopeless, and you were one of the kindest people he knew.

But some of the most kind-hearted people are the meanest people to themselves.

“I’m not here to judge you or try to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. I’m not gonna tell you life is all beauty and grace because it isn’t. It’s okay to be in pain but this is not the way to fix it. I just wanna help you.”

You shook your head. “No one can help me.”

“At least let me try,” he said gently.

“You don’t understand okay? It never stops hurting,” you said, voice cracking slightly. “It always hurts and it's this ache in my chest and I feel like I’m suffocating. No one told me that life was going to hurt, no one fucking told me! They say life isn’t fair, or that life may sometimes bring you down, but they never said that existing would be torture. And I don’t want to keep living if it’s going to hurt this much.”

You saw Bucky’s face fall and you shook your head. “Please just go - You weren’t supposed to see this.”

“I’m not going anywhere. I’d rather see you at your worst than not see you at all,” he said. “You don’t have to do this yourself. I know it may seem like you do but you don’t. You never had to, and you never will have to. You have me, us, the team - we’re all here for you but we can’t if you don’t let us. But I’m not leaving you. You’ve been alone for too long already.”

You felt a new lump in your throat, feeling overwhelmed. Trapped between death and your worst nightmare. You never wanted to be vulnerable, you never wanted to hurt anyone with your own pain. But hearing Bucky’s words, seeing the panic in his eyes -

You had already hurt him. And he was right - killing yourself was only going to hurt the team more.

But it just hurt so much.

You had heard it so many times - “think about the impact you’ll have on those you love”, or how “suicide is selfish” and shit - made you feel like a horrible person. Because you did care about everyone, you cared too much. And it wasn’t that you didn’t care about hurting them with your decision - it was just that the pain of staying alive began outweighing the fear of hurting those you loved.

And it was torture.

You wanted to say everything that was on your mind - scream and cry and curse the universe, you wanted to break something, you wanted to be hugged, held, and told it would be okay - you wanted to get everything out.

You didn’t want to be alone anymore.

You’ve been alone for too long already.

You let out a broken sob, knees going weak as Bucky caught you and pulled you into his chest, away from the edge.

“I don’t want to do this anymore,” you said between sobs.

“I know you don’t, I know,” Bucky said, holding you tightly as if he feared you would disappear if he let you go.

Sticks and stones can break your bones but words can never hurt me was utter bullshit. Because the next words that came out of your mouth hurt Bucky more than anything HYDRA had done to him.

“Please just let me die. Why won’t you let me die? I just wanna die, please just let this be over.”

People didn’t realize what depression could do to a person. Someone who was full of life could end up like this. You don’t know what went wrong or when it happened, but you just felt absolutely broken inside. The kind of broken that can’t be fixed.

Bucky felt his heart shatter, tears falling down his own cheeks at how hopeless you had sounded. He had never been overly close with you, but you were always kind to everyone on the team. And the team had failed you by not noticing sooner.

“I’m gonna bring you inside okay?” Bucky said. You didn’t hear him, crying so hard that you couldn’t focus on anything else. He picked you up, carrying you back into the tower. Bucky brought you back to your room, sitting down on your bed with you. He rubbed a hand up and down your back, holding you tightly as he tried to help you calm down.

Exhaustion overtook you, your body becoming worn out from all of the crying and emotions. You never let your guard down like that in front of anyone, and shame began to overtake you.

“I - I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have seen that I’m so so sorry -”

“Don’t,” he started. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“No one was supposed to know,” you whispered.

“Why not? What’s so bad about asking for help?”

You paused for a moment, unsure exactly why. “I don’t know - I just feel really weak sometimes?” you said, more of a question to yourself. “Like I know everyone needs help and shit but I didn’t have a reason to need it. It hurts but I don’t know why, I cry when I’m not sad, I just - I’m not in control of myself and I don’t know why and if I can’t explain it to myself then how am I supposed to talk to anyone about it?”

“That makes more sense than you think. All of us on the team, we all go through shit. We see so many horrible things, we’ve been through so many things. We all have something. You have this. It’s okay if you don’t know why you feel the way you do but hurting yourself isn’t going to help anything.”

“I know what it’s like, wanting a way out,” Bucky said and you immediately knew what he was talking about. “Days that I wished Pierce or Rumlolw or whoever would just finish me rather than punish me over and over. It wasn’t that I wanted to die, I just wanted it to stop.”

You looked at him. “I know. But what I didn’t know then was that it would end. I never thought it could ever end or that it would ever end, but it did. And if I had died back then I would’ve died only knowing that pain. I wouldn’t have known that it could get better or that it would. And I’m not saying everything is perfect now because it’s not. But it’s better than it was. Okay?”

You nodded, fresh tears spilling out of your eyes. You knew the torture that Bucky went through, everyone on the team did. It had taken him a long time to speak about it on his own and move through it. But he did.

“I don’t know what to do anymore,” you said.

“Talking about it, getting it out is a great start. Talking about it never hurt anyone.” When you seemed a little apprehensive, Bucky added, “I felt alone for so long. Battling these thoughts and memories in my head. They never stopped. But when I started talking about it with someone, and they helped me work through it - I don’t know. It helped me a lot. It wasn’t just me and my thoughts anymore. I wasn’t alone.”

I wasn’t alone

“You don’t have to be alone anymore. I’m not going anywhere. Whether you like it or not I’m gonna be right here with you

These things rarely get better overnight. But maybe with someone else, they could get better a little bit quicker.

You gave a small nod. “Okay.”

---

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zellacchan · 4 years

Text

TANAKA APPRECIATION DAY STARTS NOW

-THIS WHOLE EPISODE ABOUT HIM IS PERFECTLY WRITTEN, THE IMPACT IS BEAUTIFUL, AND I HAVE GROWN TO LOVE HIS CHARACTER SO MUCH MORE.

-TANAKA DOESN'T GIVE UP. that thought alone seems boring when you read it just like that, right? but this episode, ugh, man. it surfaced a whole new concept, you'd think the character was a genuine human, a real person from this world.

-how, exactly? let's start with the things that happened to Tanaka-senpai. ‘‘embarrassment. failure. yet despite that-you refused to give in, and you constantly repeated that in your mind. yet you still ended up getting even more disappointed than you initially were. nothing was going smoothly, and you didn't know why. 'it's okay. i'll keep going, it'll be alright.' you result to self encouragement, because it really isn't the time to feel down, just stay positive. force yourself to be.’’ was the type of situation he was in. normally, a person would give in to the despair, the negativity their mind kept bringing to them. because, i mean, what else could they do? everything was going wrong right in front of their eyes. and when they tried bringing themselves up again, their own teammate refused to help. getting them to toss to you after you called for one could've been the chance to redeem yourself, but no, it didn't. in a normal situation, you'd think ‘okok they might have a plan/they prolly have a better chance at scoring’ or ‘psh maybe next time.’ or even go ‘asjdjfjfj that was embarrassing!’ pretty much any thought, usually it wouldn't give a huge impact to you, and you're able to brush it off after a couple minutes then focus on the game again. but if its like the situation Tanaka was in? completely different scenario. it's likely to give more than a stab to your morale. could even serve as the final blow. even Bokuta-san knew this, as seen from how he passed out afterwards watching them. (maybe it's due to the relief that karasuno scored, tho his attention mostly focused on Tanaka, as once again shown from his reaction after Tanaka earned a point. plus the fact that he was aware of how he, himself would act if he's in Tanaka's position.) but, did that 'deal the final blow'? did it finally make him give up? nope, it didn't. (part of the credit goes to our sunshine child Shoyo, thank hEAVENS for this angel.) and even if Shoyo wasn't there to encourage him, i doubt he would've acted differently. it takes such an impossible amount of mental strength to survive those kind of life difficulties, moreover in sports. s p o r t s, where one mistake could ruin everything. and Tanaka-san had that strength. it merely showed it's pique on the very end, but he had it from the very beginning. hence, again, i doubt a different outcome—and i find that so so beautiful, bc honestly, let's be realistic here. not a lot of people could do that. they may try, but they can only reach so far before giving in. Tanaka was one of those rare gems, and this episode was incredibly inspirational about it. i just can't say that enough. it's anime, fictional. yet the emotions, the struggles and how it was depicted were more than on point, and that's why it's capable of such impact. hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-

-i dare say more; let's move onto his quotes. “i'm nothing but average. but still, my average self.. do you really have time to look down like that?” ohmygod. this needs to be my life motto. Tanaka-senpai you outstandingly positive man, i crave for his attitude-his viewpoint, way of dealing with sitautions and everything. it's so cool and awesome and just aAAAAA, how?! how is one capable of such thoughts?? please teach me. i beg of you. “i'm pretty sure i'm a normal human being. especially when it comes to my build and abilities. when i was a kid, i was convinced i was a genius. i might've thought that until i was in middle school. actually, i'm still sorta convinced that i am. but i'm probably never going to be 180cm tall. i'm confident in my athletic skills. but on our volleyball team, i'm not number one in anything at this point in time. but that's not a reason to quit, nor is it an excuse.” i'm screaming. just slapped the perspective and words i've longed to hear. what an ace, Tanaka-senpai deserves that title so much. it fits so perfectly. “as long as i keep trying until i can do it... i can actually do it!” yes, thank you, Tanaka-senpai, Furudate-sensei, for proving that giving up is just an illusion of success. once you've tried enough and you can finally do it, you've finally done it. it's possible.

I REPEAT, TANAKA RYUUNOSUKE DESERVES SO MUCH APPRECIATION. HE'S SUCH A BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN CHARACTER, AND WE ALL SHOULD SHOWER OUR LOVE TO HIM.

p.s i wrote this on the spur of the moment, (milliseconds after the episode ended) pardon if i dont make sense<3 just love tanaka ryuunosuke<3 thats all you need to know<33

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its-tie-kir-ra · 2 years

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As someone who is a full-time inukag shipper, I totally get where your coming from w/ the inukag scenes where Moroha just "accepts" her parents.

I think though that most inukag shippers are no longer watching YH (myself included), and that we have collectively decided to ignore the context behind the inukag scenes and just focus on those individual scenes as a whole. That's why we haven't really questioned why Moroha just goes w/ the flow, because:

1) we actually want to relish the few inukagmor crumbs we get even if it is a little pathetic

2) we take certain aspects about those scenes, like InuKag being loving parents and Moroha being a happy daughter, as actual canon because it fits with how we always imagined an inukag family to be in post-canon, even before YH.

And 3) we know Sunrise, especially Sumisawa, are not smart enough to write about a rational, emotional struggle as big as coming to terms w/ finding your birth parents and what that might realistically do to a person. We've accepted the fact that the writing is shit and that a realistic portrayal of such an emotional struggle is too good a concept to be written into such a shitshow like YH, so why make a fuss about it anymore?😪

That's just my theory at least. I know I'm taking InuKag being loving and doting parents, with Moroha being a happy daughter as one of the only actual canon things from YH.

I've seen some YH fanfics that dive into that particular struggle tho, if you ever wanna look them up on FF.Net or Ao3.

This is a response to this post. It's about how the show doesn't handle adoption/child abandonement well, and I used the example of how Inukag are going to handle this going forward and how the scenes feel really hollow to me as an adopted kid. I'm not trying to crack on Inukag shippers for liking it. Like what you like.

Anyway.

You realize that making a fuss over those scenes is sending the message that this show has an audience and it will keep going, right? Like you're allowed to do it, but don't pretend that it's ultimately not sending the message that you're ready to spend money.

I don't understand this. Fandoms scream and cry and beg for shows to be brought back. When they're brought back, the fandom usually hates it, except for a few parts which they get excited over (which I have a whole theory over how eventually you just run out of story to tell). Then they beg for more. And the cycle continues. Like read fanfic if you want to get that Inukag hit so badly. Like fandom prides itself on being very "Canon, who cares" and then as soon as the creators announce more is coming they turn into Oliver Twist. Is the validation that important to you?

It's like the live action thing. Everyone is out here getting so excited over the ATLA live action, but I'm dreading it, because when has there ever been an anime to live action that's good? Mulan, Cowboy Bebop, Ghost in the Shell, Beauty and the Beast, THE LION KING, all were adaptations that were pretty freaking terrible, both in adapting their works and making a new story, but that hasn't stopped like 6 more being announced this past year and them bringing in billions of dollars and every time people are like "IT'S GOING TO BE GREAT!" So I don't get it.

Watch another damn show. Those sequels and live action adaptations are not about making you happy or bringing the fandom together. It's about making money.

I'm not trying to be an asshole but Jesus Christ sometimes I feel like I'm losing it watching this, because like, my favourite anime is FMAB, and everybody wants a sequel, and I don't. Because the ending was perfect. Why would you want to mess it up? It's way more fun for me to imagine what happened in my head or read a fanfic than pay someone to tell me what happened that will ultimately be treated as "more official" (which isn't a bad thing because I also believe that we should be respectful of original creators because they're fucking human and they're eventually going to run out of ideas and it's potentially going to be bad). All a sequel will do is disturb the tranquility and ruin whatever better ideas that the fandom came up with. (Because there is no way in hell they'd let Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist, be the house husband he was destined to be.)

(LOOK AT THEM 😭)

Adds "talk about sequels" and "talk about adaptations" to list of video ideas because I have way too many opinions

(I don't doubt that Inukag would've been great parents. Y'all can fight me on that. But when I see comics about Ayame and Koga raising Moroha as "Aunt Ayame and Uncle Koga" (which is BS in itself, Koga and Ayame are her parents in that situation and I bitched about how much I hated Koga raising Moroha for 10 minutes in my video because I don't care what y'all say he wouldn't be a good parent to a quarter demon but ULTIMATELY HE IS HER DAD) and everybody going aweeeee that's exactly how it happened, like, you're treating it like it's canon. Stop pretending you're not. You're not ignoring the context.)

(I feel like an overinvested crazy person right now.)

#anti live action #anti yashahime #anti hanyo no yashahime #hanyo no yashahime #yashahime #trashahime #anti Koga #anti sequels

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papers4me · 3 years

Text

Fruits Basket, Se3, ep11 (part 1)

Breaking toxic bonds & accepting healthy ones isn’t a miracle. A bond that started with love could end up chained & toxic, another that started wrong could’ve become the joy of a life time. You can do it. Break the cycle of abuse & stand up for yourself, it is easy yet so difficult, you aren’t alone, tho, loved ones stand nearby cheering. Be kind on yourself, otherwise you’ll throw your life away. Life isn’t just happiness & joy, it’s also sadness & loneliness. Break free from the shackles that held you down. Embrace life & Live.

-Tohru’s “ I’m okay” mask is finally shattered! (the Importance of kyo’s rejection for her development):

This is the last part of tohru’s character development! The last few eps were abt her role in Akito’s redemption & their similarities. she staood up for herself & choose a path away from her mom while keeping her mom’s memory in a healthy manner. No more planning my life according to mom’s wishes, no more talking to mom ‘s picture 24/7. Now, I’ll plan my life & move forward even if it is with the guy mom said she cant forgive. even If it is without him, I’ll move forward. I love him so much, yet I won’t force our bond & let go. So easy yet so difficult!. tohru doesnt know anything abt kyo after her fall. All she remembers is his heart-broken face as he wept beside her. Those tears on his face, she caused them. He cried cuz it is too painful to see her hurt. She was a burden to him! tohru restored to her old coping mechanism of pretending “ i’m Okay” & smiling. She did so numerous times before. Always worked. No one noticed. Except him. Se02, ep7. he urged her to show her true fears. Now, she’s faced with a pain so big she can’t pretend no more. the pain of loosing him. She cried in front of yuki! The smile & chatting abt chores couldn’t conceal the running tears! Yuki’s first time seeing her like that. Se01, ep14, yuki wondered how could tohru smile after her mom’s death. She can’t pretend no more! She’ll have to wear her feelings on her sleeve! cuz it IS ok to do so! She tells kyo to give her a moment to compose herself. She couldn’t lie & pretend like she did with yuki. Here she either run away or just try to compose myself! I LOVE THAT! This way, whenever kyo/tohru fight or have any misunderstanding in the future as a couple, you’ll know tohru won’t just bear it & pretend, “ i;m okay” No! she’ll talk to kyo & express herself! I LOVE THIS SO MUCH! It gives her so much strength as a human & I’m happy all the obstacles & set backs in kyo/tohru’s romantic journey has led them to be better ppl little by little to build healthier & more realistic love!

-The mechanics of writing a compelling slow-burn romance:

1. Igniting the romantic feelings slowly: Slow burns don’t work with love at 1st sight. It must first sparkle naturally, slowly & subtly. Both kyo & tohru repeatedly stated they don’t know exactly when they first fell in love. The author’s decision to create an environment where the two live together is a genius way to start & nurture their romance quietly & subtly. Kyo was tricked to stay in shigure’s house while tohru had to stay cuz she had no home, Natural reasons that force the two to spend days together & get to know each other gradually.

2. Dynamics of their personalities: For slow burns to work, the two characters need to be similar yet opposites! Kyo & tohru are both kind, endearing, innocent, good at chores, independent & hardworking. They both have history with their mothers that is filled with love yet traumas. However, tohru is calm yet prefer maneuvering around subjects, can’t stand up for herself, reads ppl easily, tends to trust ppl easily & disregard herself. Kyo is fierce, strong, tends to distrust ppl, despite ppl loving his spontaneous character, he has hard time figuring out if they’re mocking him or teasing him, very straightforward with his words & actions. The similarities helps them understand each other, however, the differences creates chances to clash & come even closer thro various situation. Ex, se01, ep2, kyo apologizing for hitting her head with the table which created the situation where she needed to confess she always loved the cat zodiac! It is HER gush of emotions that struck kyo. ppl really want my friendship? the cat is loved? Thro those difference they learned to better themselves so they won’t hurt the other, kyo toning down his anger for her, tohru desiring to know him even more as he becomes even more awkward.

3. Creating natural, realistic & convincing obstacles that prevents them from being together: This is the most important part! Slow-burn is two characters in love & cant be together despite everyone wanting them to be! if the reason that stops them from uniting is trivial, stupid, one-sided, can easily be solved, then the slow-burn would be a fillery & no one would cheer for it! Takaya-san is a genius!

Kyo can’t be with tohru cuz he thinks (a) he killed her mom! we saw thr flashback, he could’ve saved her & couldn’t save her. It was a split of a second difference & he hates himsef for NOT trying! that split of a second also prevented from thinking of better ways to save her than holding her! it happened to fast, he couldn't think of a better alternative cuz this was his 2nd time loosing someone (b) his mom’s sucide being pinned as his fault created this immense guilt & defeated feeling that “ no matter what, I just cause death & misery! There’s (c) too!, he knew tohru! thinks she deserves the world & cuz he didnt save her mom, he watched tohru talk to a freaking picture for two years! heck! he is the only one who can see thro tohru’s “ i;m okay” mask, so in se01, ep 14 in the grave yard! kyo wasnt the only one who is sad! tohru was too! & kyo could tell! (d) her mom’s death is the reason tohru is accepting shigure’s offer to stay with them rent-free in exchange of doing housework! (e)? he saw her confess crying her heart out abt missing her mom so much that she imitated her dad! so tragicly sad! (f) he saw her die in his nightmare!! how can he accept her love,now? Perfectly orchestrated obstacles!

Tohru, unfortunately, in the anime it wasn't that clear due to shortening her backstories & trauma in se03, ep6. But she too couldn’t see herself confessing love to kyo. Tohru is has low self-esteem, always thinks she’s a burden to others, an orphan who just wants her mom, so scared, lonely & sad! we the audience believed the mask! we saw her work her motherly charm yuki, isusuz, kisa & believe her issues are not that deep. tohru wont cry for herself but shed rivers for others! grief is so ugly it broke her! I cant let go of mom, must keep her always in my heart, such a hard emotions to write & I believe 100% the director couldn’t understand her grief & decided to split ep6 between her, kyo, isuzu & shigure. But Tohru struggling to confess to kyo is no laughing matter. ppl who are grieving find it the hardest to live after the loved ones die. they wont mostly commit suicide, they are alive, but they arent living. they just go thro the motions & live for the sake of those around them but not themselves. Tohru deciding to confess to kyo is her deciding to live for herself.

4. Writing a perfect psychologically & emotionally packed climax: I dont need to explain how perfect kyo’s rejection of tohru in se03 ep9 was. How much we felt for him yet were mad at him. He we were “ ugh! kyo no!!!! I mean I get why you do that , but you idiot no! come back! poor kyo! He was just so sad & broken! OMG he’ll kill himself after finding tohru’s injured body!! he totally would! his nightmare came true! But Tohru reached him! she wanted him to be okay! he wont kill himself but still feels hella guilty! but so utterly in love with her that his instinct upon seeing her come to life after near death is kiss her! Perfect display of psychology & emotions! filled with right, wrong, sad, happy, guilty, innocent! basically so human~ As the audience you MUST have this mixture of feelings of wanting to hug him so bad cuz this boy has been killing himself for years now yet want him to stop & just see that he was a good boy afterall. Tohru is THE best girl & if the audience are cheering for kyo to be with her, kyo really deserves her! The only problem is for kyo to see that now.

5. The Perfect wrap up of all romance: If you make your audience suffer the slow-burn this long, you gotta reward them good! & Takaya-san delivered! Just like how the entire romantic story is realistic, the reunion must be as realistic too! Tohru is hurt by kyo;s words. Facts remain his words were hurtful to her. I love that was addressed! tohru gets to tell her side, too! If you love someone, you are bound to be hurt by them as much as be happy with them. Simply cuz they matter so much to you! you arent one person, but two ppl coming together. Kyo must work hard for this confession. Must run & chase her. Must earn her proper! He gets on his knees, I cant express how important that is! he is way taller than her, Imagine apologizing while she looks way up & he looks down? He gets on his knees & apologize like a man, for every mistake, all while not loathing himself. He aint going back to that deep abyss again. He did wrong by her & he is owning up to his mistakes. Give me one chance. I’m not gonna force you with persistence or guilt you into taking me. Give me ONE chance cuz i deserve it & no more. The choice is yours. She asks to confirm, he shows her, they kiss, they hug, they are rewarded with a blessing from the heavens! One of the most simple yet emotionally fulfilling confessions in anime!

- Hugs over kisses: (And her kiss hugs her & the curse was lifted):

Prince charming kisses the princess & she wakes up~ they live ever after~ except furuba is all abt “ eternal ever after is not true, real life is where the real love is”

Kyo kissed tohru once, she didnt wake up, she didnt even think he loved her back. didnt even remember the kiss.

Kyo hugged tohru once. se01, e024, He initiated it, tohru was all in tears, surprised, happy & so utterly in love. he called her name for the first time ever, for a brief moment, they both connected, they both comforted each other. The rain stopped, he became a man not a monster, she got him back. She got her kyo that she fought for with none other than kyo himself.

kyo hugged her again, se03, ep6. They both initiated it. He made the first move, pulling her just a little closer, she made the second move & hugged him hard, he transformed, it was a moment were they both connected, both so sad & broken, both feeling needy for the other, both desperate for the other, both just living the moment. the result is them coming closer, her wanting him more, him realizing her love, there is no escape. Admit it. she loves you. You can tell.

Kyo hugs her again today. He asks permission. No spur of the moment feeling. But a long lasting permission to be together. To hug. He wants to hear her acceptance of his cursed body. “ is ok to hug you? this body will cause you pain as it wont be able to fulfill your wishes of constant hugs & intimacy”. She responds, permission granted, for love, for hugs, for a life long acceptance of you as a whole. weakness & strength, sadness & happiness. I accept you all in better & worse! we’re invincible. Why? cuz we understand love isnt magic. It is a path for us to walk together~~~ reward curse break!

Every time kyoru are closer it is a hug. The one thing the zodiacs cant do. A hug. They can kiss. But cant hug. comes this Zodiac Ruler girl so lonely, away from ppl, so sad, meets a cat boy who comes to the house she’s living in, a house away from ppl, the boy is drawn to the girl, However, when the boy needed to leave, the girl was able to let go despite loving him, the boy comes again, this time wanting to stay, the girl accepts the boy. They both accept the realistic reality of life. Embrace the obstacles & the achievements, celebrates the weakness above the strength. Both so imperfect. Both so endearingly dumb! that’s why the girl’s hug broke the boy’s curse. The girl’s acceptance of the cat broke all curses.

Side Note:

Kyo’s confession is so kyo! so straightforward, so direct, & so physical. He’s on his knees, holding her hands, looking at her eyes. “ i want to be WITH you. If I’m gona live, I want to to do it with you & no one else! cuz I love you” that’s it. That’s all. So sincere & so romantic!

it is crazy how different tohru & kyo are now after the confession! she stood confidently & happily & said “dont you know, I love you!” all while teasing him, her giggle is so girlish & cute! my girl is a happy woman in love! long buried the angelic mother image of se02! YES! also, kyo’s happy face is love! Dude! when was the last time he smiled so freely? Did he ever do that? He smiled in se01, ep4 with kazmua, but not like this! T_T. my son is healing~

Kyo’s “ i wont ever feel afraid if you’re with me” is a huge growth from his “ I want to protect her” mindset. Now he realizes it is two-sided mutual desire. She gives him strength as much as he does! <3

I dont like open eye while kissing, but here it is so perfect for tohru in this moment! cuz she spent days thinking kyo rejected her & even ran away as soon as she saw him, now he’s not only confessing, apologizing, admitting she is his life, but also kissing her signaling they’re romantic couple. kissing on lips is so personal, what more evidence she needs? still, her thoughts? “ it’s like a dream?” aww~~~ tohru~~~ my precious girl! she just cant believe all her suffering is over, now? She was just practicing “ i’m okay” smile & now she’s an official girlfriend to the man of her dreams? He just bent da kneeee~ go for it queen!

yuki’s face when tohru cried is exactly what I meant of “ allowing yuki to have strong facial expressions”! XD these types of faces humanize yuki so much into the teenage boy he is! Unfortunately the anime team only sees him as the pretty prince in most times. That’s why fave yuki is when he’s with kakeru. He becomes so un-princly as he should be.

Speaking of yuki, I see you anime team~ postponing his moment into next ep so him & machi wont be overshadowed by the long awaited kyoru!! While this defies the perfection of all cursed zodiacs breaking on the same ep making akito’s breakdown less perfect & poetic, I take it as the anime team admitting they underdeveloped yuchi & decided let’s give them more screen time & not putting them in close distance from any couple. A week later ep is enough with lots of time. I dont mind at all, I’m just saying more time after/while confession is not what i was hoping for~~ sigh~ At least I hope yuki would say sth along the lines” all this time I was looking at you, i realized i love you” to imply he was thinking of her as a lover not his kindness for someone he helped. I just dont want their love to be sudden simply cuz yuki needs happy ending. oh well~ I’m sure whatever it will be, the anime will give it utmost attention.

That sad moment when kagura wasnt allowed a moving image. lol. girl was given a still image that didnt even move with the breeze! T_T

Not gonna lie... the scene with kazuma & kyo was underwhelming. Why the wide shot? I mean you dont need budget for that. Just give me a closeup from the waist up with kyo head buried in kazuma’s chest. Dont need to waste budget on kazuma’s face, either.... do the old trick of hair covering eyes & show me glittery tears~ why the awkward shot of kazma towering in his own house! how tall is this man & why cant he he fix his roof?...lol

Also, shigure, you got scars man... who can hurt shigure? akito? gotta be her. I dont think hatori scratches...lol.. Aya? nah~ too busy with Mine! yup, akito... another steamy night? could be, she’s changed as he wish now. But scratching a face is weird while..um..kissing? a quarrel? but why? I bet she wants him now & we know he wants her....

More on part 2! especially abt the curse’s lore~

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #happy paper #final season #part 1

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mirrinbelde-shitposts · 3 years

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Heyyy!

Here fr d game!

Umm im guessing ur an pisces mercury*hehe jst types wht comes to mind at 1st

Also i wont mind if u post it publicly or send me privately

Here is my birthchart(tropical)

Lawl SUSPENSE..Hehe

Anw Have a great day/night ahead🤍🥂

Guessing was fun tho..evn if i guessed wrng one💀🤣

Hey!! You did guess wrong, sorry about that xd but it's oki, don't worry about it! Have a good day too ^^

Welcome to your reading. Please remember to send feedback.

First impressions when looking at your chart: you don't have a lot of aspects, but a lot of them are exact: that wedge patter between Saturn, Venus and Mercury is very exact; you have an even distribution of planets among the signs and the houses; also, the angles (except IC) all conjunct planets or points

SUN IN AQUARIUS

As an Aquarius, you are quirky, aloof, dreamy and humanist. People may think you're awkward and detached, which is probably true for you since your Sun is at 0º of Aquarius. Your originality and uniqueness are probably the things you love about yourself the most. Your mind is also quite agile, which allows you to fulfil your dreams. Nevertheless, we cannot ignore the fact that the Sun is in Detriment in the sign of Aquarius. This means that the Sun can struggle here, making you feel confused as to who you are and how you can express yourself. You very much value your independence and your rebelliousness. However, you can be stubborn to a fault when it comes to your thoughts and opinions.

SUN IN THE 7TH HOUSE

The Sun in the house of Libra shows that you really enjoy socializing and that's also where you shine the most brightly. The Venusian influence gives you charm and elegance, which cause people to flock to you. Also, you may show your true colours in relationships, particularly romantic ones. Having someone close to you will allow you to achieve a better understanding of yourself. You do well when it comes to working with others; this placement helps the detached, independent Aquarius Sun to be more sociable and better appreciate others. Also, the Venus influence can make people look up to you and see themselves in you, something that doesn't really happen with Aquarius Suns in generally. You may do well in associations or organizations because you have a need to be in society.

MOON IN CAPRICORN

Once again, you have a planet in Detriment. Capricorn, the sign of Saturn, struggles to feel and voice the emotions they experience. Therefore, it is natural that the Moon finds this sign difficult. You think too much. Perhaps you had a complicated relationship with your mother, which may have caused you to repress your emotions. Capricorn placements, in general, tend to grow up and mature quite early, which leads to unhealthy coping mechanisms; you had to raise your walls up high, so you struggle to let anyone in. You may also be socially awkward. At the same time, you may seek validation from society, which is one of the things that may give you that emotional security that you deeply seek. You should work on letting your guard down; emotions are not the enemy, it's okay to feel what you feel. Let out your inner child once in a while.

MOON IN THE 6TH HOUSE

Here, the Moon is in the house of Virgo (but lying almost on top of the Descendant). There is a strong connection between body and mind. You seek emotional safety through your work and other acts of service; you want to be useful to people and to spend your time wisely. You may be a workaholic. Your routines are very important to you; you can get distraught if someone messes with your daily habits. Your health may be a concern to you, but since your Moon is harmoniously aspected, I'd say you're generally healthy. Nevertheless, watch for any hereditary diseases or problems with food or alcohol. The square with Mars suggests to me that you can quickly let out your anxieties. You like discipline, organization and cleanness; you are determined in the pursuit of your goals. You may have a vocation to work directly with people. Your moods may change quickly.

MERCURY IN CAPRICORN

With Mercury in Capricorn, you speak in a very structured, pondered way. You are very analytical and it shows in the way you communicate. You're a realist, but people may think you're more pessimistic. You definitely tend to be pessimistic at times, as well as distrustful and sceptical. You like to research, to gather information before speaking. You're concrete in your thinking, logical and organized. You take your time to make decisions; you weigh all the pros and cons carefully. Probably not the one to daydream or have many fantasies; you prefer the realistic and achievable. Although you're mostly serious, you can be playful sometimes.

MERCURY IN THE 6TH HOUSE

Capricorn Mercury is similar to Mercury in the house of Virgo. You are probably a perfectionist person, determined and organized. You analyse everything, yourself and your emotions included. You're very critical, especially of yourself. You hold everyone to high standards; once again, yourself the most. Like Capricorn Mercury, you can have pessimistic tendencies. You probably repress your feelings and rationalize them instead. Additionally, your knowledge can progress through daily life experiences and through your body. You should practice meditation and mindfulness because your anxiety and stress may have a direct effect on your bodily health.

VENUS IN PISCES

Venus is exalted in Pisces. This sign is intuitive, empathetic and emotional, which are traits that Venus likes. You feel everything and negative energies really get to you, so it's important that you find a partner that gives you emotional stability. You make a good lover, for you are caring and sensitive to people's needs, especially your partner's. Venus here gives you ethereal, alluring vibes. You can seem almost magical to people. You can be very protective of those you love, selfless; you can even sacrifice yourself for them. You're a daydreamer, you live in your own fantasy world. You have great aesthetic taste and you're quite romantic. However, be careful not to be taken advantage of; your too-good nature can land you someone whose intentions are far from the best.

VENUS IN THE 8TH HOUSE

Venus here acquires some Scorpio traits, namely the need to get a deep connection with someone. You are a person of extremes, not of middle-terms. In this sense, you can get effortlessly get people to open up to you, to tell you their deepest, darkest secrets. Since the (H also rules other people's money, you may get rich through an inheritance or a good marriage. Also, people may trust you with their money. In love, too, they aspire to learn everything about their partner. You seek transformative relationships, ones that will allow you to experience a different range of emotions, another dimension, even. Casual relationships are probably not your thing. You can get too controlling and dominating, so beware of that. Also, financial security is important to you; you may even have a job that has directly to do with money.

ARIES MARS

Here, Mars is in its rulership. You are quite reckless and impulsive in your actions. You like to be the first, to be the pioneer (much like Aries is the first sign of the Zodiac). You have a knack for leadership and people tend to be happy to follow your lead. You are quite competitive in just about everything; you can have a sour loser. You are quick to get mad, but after you explode, your anger will be gone in an instant. You are great at achieving goals because Mars helps you to stay motivated and determined; you are quite persistent and usually get what you want. You can also work well under pressure. Laziness is not in your blood. Your independence is quite important to you, as are your opinions. You can be quite stubborn and difficult to argue with, simply due to your relentlessness.

MARS IN THE 9TH HOUSE

Your Mars is in the house of Sagittarius. This placement allows you to acquire the necessary willpower for the journey to the expansion of knowledge and discovery. Your actions should help you with the acquisition of further knowledge, as well as ideas and strengthening your freedom. This placement goes against the need of routine imposed by your 6th house placements; Mars here wants you to get out there, be free, have fun, think about life, yourself and the universe. You have strong morals and philosophical ways. This placement may make you strongly seek, hunt, even, the truth of the fundamental questions. On another note, you can develop an attraction to foreign people and may wish to move away from home swiftly and without hesitation. This can be abroad too.

JUPITER IN VIRGO

Jupiter is in Detriment in Virgo. Whilst Jupiter is all about philosophy, the higher mysteries and expansion, Virgo seeks for the concrete, for what it knows, for the logical and rational. Therefore, this placement requires work. You are sceptical, you need to think and analyse everything before you come to a conclusion. Growth is achieved through responsibilities and being useful to others. A bit of idealism would be good, Jupiter struggles in Earth signs. You may think that you know more than you actually do, that you see the bigger picture when that is not true. Be careful not to grow an ego. Your beliefs will be challenged in this lifetime. You have a desire to help people, and in relationships too you want to do everything in your power to aid your partner.

JUPITER IN THE 2ND HOUSE

This placement generally brings good luck when it comes to money and other worldly possessions. You may also like to spend money, more on your loved ones than on yourself. You may be big into giving gifts. In order to reach that emotional security, you may wish to surround yourself with material items that, to you, hold great value and importance. Once you understand how better to acquire that stability, you may become rather generous with your money. You want a comfortable lifestyle. Like Venus in the 8th house, you may be good at managing your possessions, thus causing others to go to you for financial advice. You may not show it, but you have strong philosophical convictions, which may prove to be impossible to change.

SATURN IN CANCER

Saturn is in Detriment here, which makes it four planets in Detriment in your chart. You may feel a strong need for emotional safety, which could manifest as a fear of abandonment. There may also be some emotional blockages present that you struggle to overcome. Saturn retrograde, being the planet of Karma, may difficult your mission in life. You could be stuck on an unresolved trauma from a past life. This may be represented by a figure of authority in this life, perhaps your father. Instead of attempting to reconcile your past, try to accept the world changing around you. You may be too afraid to venture into the world and to open your heart; accept that it is part of life. Find people that give you that security, but don’t pour out your entire soul to them; find a balance. Not everything can be kept in our hearts, but not everything should be shared, either.

SATURN IN THE 12TH HOUSE

This is quite a strong and powerful placement: you have the planet of karma in the most karmic house. Also, according to Hellenistic Astrology, Saturn has its joy in the 12th house. You may be afraid to mess with the subconscious because your emotions may overtake you. Saturn is related to blockages and yours may be due to paranoia, which is characteristic of Neptune and Pisces. You may repress parts of yourself that you are not happy about, which makes you feel better, but, at the same time, paranoia can set in and make you wonder if that is the right thing to do. That aside, you may also struggle with poor self-esteem and doubts about yourself and life. There can be problems of guilt of some sort, perhaps even related to your life itself. It is very vague, but my thoughts about this placement are, in short, that, from birth, there have been deep traumas within you that have blocked your inner peace. What does are, I do not know. ⬛️

#astrology #game ask #my stuff

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lairofsentinel · 3 years

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Hiii!! I’m the last anon. I loved reading your take on the Oskar situation! To be honest I was a little paranoid because of all the Gale hot takes on Reddit. Most of them seem to think he will betray you in the end and it’s a little discouraging! Your post made me feel better tho :)

Hello there again!

Ah... Reddit... Honestly, I'm so TIRED of reading their bullshit when a friend of mine shares with me some post there. Most of the time they do stuff based on plain lies. Like, all the drama about “Gale asks you to cheat your LI to whom you are married” XD like 5 shades of lies… it is just such a level of garbage. People doing that can't read, and can't understand a game which qualifies for +18. They should play tetris, please. XD

I think Gale can betray you like all chars can: it depends on your actions. If you go evil, and do the goblin path, Gale leaves the party unless you roll the dice and get a very high number. In that case, he remains, but he is super bitter and filled with regret. I can see that this Gale will “stop” an evil main char from doing more evil if you keep going on that path. Gale is a char who defends life. Like Ifan in DOS2 [a char I can speak a lot, and I can do a lot of comparisons with Gale, and even though both games are different world, the “larian style” with which they write their characters is kind of “obvious”, but that's another topic, I jump a lot in different topics XD sorry], As I was saying… the most sacred thing for Gale is Life. If Gale starts seeing that you are a menace, bigger than his own orb problem, you are going to be killed by him. Or attempt to be so. Specially if he can see you are beyond redemption [which is something he believes, but he needs to see you trying].

I'm pretty convinced of that. We already have a char who tries to kill you, and in fact he kills you if you fail the dice. If you know about datamining stuff... There is a situation where 2 companions are going to struggle to kill one another in their sleep. Swen said in some interviews that this mechanic is going to happen. So, it seems fair to expect this from the rest of the chars, Gale included. But it has to be “in character”. After all, it's the same style we find in DOS2. Again, I know I've said that it's pretty poor to compare BG3 with Dragon Age games... BUT comparing it with DOS2, you can see certain patterns in Larian style that make you suspect certain things. If you played DOS2, you can remember that ALL your companions can betray you, if you give them reasons enough to do it. Which is, to no one's surprise, how most RPGs with companions work. Again, Reddit just does a drama out of nowhere, and magnifies everything related to Gale just to make people hate him even if nobody played with him. XD So… how can you criticise a char you never played with??? Meh.

Gale is a flawed char. Perfect chars are boring. Gale's main flaws are emotions, but we also see him in a moment of his life where he has reflected about his mistakes. A lot of his approvals and scenes and comments are DEEPLY related to “forgiveness” and to “accept the mistakes of the youth”, and “learn from your mistakes”, “second chances”, and “take responsibility for it”. He approves if you redeem Kagha, he asks you to be kind to children who do big fuck-ups, he approves and is relieved when he is forgiven for not having told you about his orb after the party [which is pretty weird… because we have like 4 scenes where we are hinted that whatever is happening in his chest is pretty wild, but well, maybe we can fail ALL the dices and inferring that fact with the death protocol is too much for us... who knows]. If we know how Larian works, we know that most of their chars represent “concepts”. I think Gale explore all the concepts related to mistakes and forgiveness [which are very human concepts] : accepting to make mistakes, but taking responsibility for them, even if it's a bit late, even if it's harder, even if it's beyond forgiveness.

Gale, in the second dream, speaks very clearly: he knows the tadpole dreams are not true because [we can infer] he saw Mystra forgiving him. And he KNEW that was a lie. Because he has accepted he is beyond forgiveness. He desires it, sure, because it's human nature to desire things you can't have, but also he is a pragmatic, realistic man: it cannot be her. Because he knows that when he uses magic, when he taps from the Weave, she is “disapproving” him [all this info is in that video, people only needs to think about why he says what he says and check lore in wiki, that’s all].

After the romance you can ask him if he is in love with Mystra. I found a meta in tumbl pretty long but very worth reading that I share in many points: human love is not just that sexual, romantic love. Love can get complex shapes, including the divine love. And Gale has that: he has the ashy love for an ex, that played with him because that's what a Goddess does in Faerûn [people should learn SO much lore before thinking that Mystra needs to be defended of anything XD], but he also is a devote to her, because she IS and REPRESENTS all what it's life for him: Magic. So, any person expecting him to “get over her” as you do with a normal ex.... are ignoring the immense religious and arcane part his story has—inserted in Faerûn. So yeah, he may have a complex love for Mystra, but betraying you if you are not an asshole to him, or evil, I cannot see it. Because that’s not what Larian has done in previous games either. I wish people could understand that Larian is not Bioware, and DOS2 and BG3 are not Dragon Age. You see... People see Gale as if BG3 were a high-school sitcom. I have no idea how much can I stress the fact that Mystra is a goddess in a world where gods play their wars between them by using mortals as paws.... Anyway. I have some few, old metas in my blog [probably too out-of-date since I did those in patch 1 I think], and like I said, there are some really good deep metas in tumblr too on this matter. Reddit is just a pit of brainless hatred. To me, reading Reddit seems a waste of time (and mental sanity, too). And I hope Larian doesn't focus only on the crap that appears there, because it's very discouraging to think that these people with so little ability to understand contexts will shape the game eventually.

Have a good day!

#asks

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red-hood-redemption · 3 years

Text

SO I know I’m like, super late to the party, but I finally got my hands on Robin 2021 and there is literally no one for me to talk to about it so now I’m just screaming my thoughts into the void ✌

First off, before i even bought the first two issues, I read through a lot of other people’s opinions on it to kinda get an idea of where it was going characterization-wise for Damian, and because of all the mixed reactions, I figured I should just read it myself and find out. Now I am the FURTHEST thing from a comic book authority, so like, this is truly just an opinion piece but if it convinces anyone to give the run a chance, then yay!!! Honestly, I’m really glad I gave it a shot because I’m genuinely hooked! I’m actually excited about this series (and it scares me lol)!!!

I'm gonna separate my thoughts into two sections: characters, and story, mainly for my own ease, but also if anyone cares more about one thing or the other it's easier to distinguish. But, the line is a little blurry so if I end up getting a little too much into the characterization in the story section, just bear with me lmao. OH and I'm going to try and keep this as un-spoilery as possible but we'll just have to see. SOOOOOOOO

Characters

I think it goes without saying that Melnikov's art is absolutely gorgeous, and really does show how much Damian has grown up. It makes me want to sob its so beautiful, everyone is so pretty, even the guy that looks like a washed up, high as fuck Tony Stark lmao. But moving on to the actual characters,

Rose Wilson

I honestly don't know too much about Rose, I haven't read enough about her to say anything about her characterization and how it compares to her other appearances, or whether or not she is OOC, but so far, I'm enjoying her taking up the "big sis" role, like, immediately lmao.

I don't know how much I trust her yet, but I definitely get the vibe that even if she does betray Dami in any way, she's probably gonna stick her neck out for Dami again and he's probably gonna do the same.

I'm really intrigued about her motivations for being here. Obviously, Respawn has something to do with it, but I want to know what's up with that. I've seen a lot of theories and I'm so excited. Also side note, that Black Swan chick is hot, and I can't wait to see more of her in action!!!

I feel like Ravager knows a WHOLE lot more than Dami does about the interesting things going on on the island, mainly because she's been doing a lot more sitting and waiting than he has as of yet, but I'm hoping to see more of the two of them doing detective-y sleuthing together. We love a mysteryyyy

Flatline

Okay but real talk, why does she look like a character straight out of Monster High

Honestly tho, I dig it. It's cute! She's cute! She isn't annoying (yet) but I don't know if I care too much about her other than she would make a cute friend for Dami.

I think the problem with DC is that they know people LOVE Harley Quinn and they try so hard to make characters just like her but it always falls short, so honestly I am a little wary of her character development in this run, but I'm willing to give her a shot since her little coffin purse on the cover of the second issue is so damn cute. I'm a slut for character design, okay?

Oh speaking of Flatline and Dami, I don't ship it and I don't want them to force a romantic relationship into Damian's "coming of age"/"soul-searching" moment okay? Because that's what this run is about, at least to me! More on that in the story section!

They're literally 13/14 years old. That's 8th-9th grade, babes lets think about that for a minute

Also let's stop the whole "lets introduce a female character just to make her a love interest!" bullshit okay?

Basically, Flatline is interesting, or at least has the potential to be, but I don't want to get my hopes up because DC is notorious for disservicing their female characters 😕

I think the mixed reaction to her is valid, I don't think she's had much time to make a solid impression yet, so I guess you'd have to read it for yourself. Personally, I don't understand why people immediately hate her, especially because she's like, 14, and what kid that age isn't annoying? like at least a little bit lmao! But, yeah. I don't trust her either but literally everyone on this island is sketchy at least and a murderer at best, so hey 🤷‍♀️

Damian

His new outfit lmaoooo at first I was like "WHaT is this child wearing? You'd think Dick would have rubbed off on him and taught him what good taste looks like" but then I saw the later outfit, with the gold patterning and those sleeeevessssss ugh and I take it all back. A Fashion Icon TM. Truly stunning. A sight to behold. So proud, look at him go 😪

I think there's a lot of different opinions on Damian's characterization in this run, and I can definitely see where its coming from, but I disagree with the notion that Damian has been done dirty and reverted to a blood-thirsty, feral child. And I have a LOT of opinions on the whole "feral" thing regarding Damian period (but that's for another time).

I don't think of Dami's rampage as a regression for his character. He's letting of emotions right then and I think its very similar to him venting. Its just not verbal, its physical and he knows he's not going to have to grapple with the consequences of his actions on the first kill. He knows he's technically not doing anything wrong.

He is clearly upset at Bruce and his failure to protect Alfred, and while Dami and Bruce are really often described as being very similar personality-wise, they are still distinctly different individuals who came to their current moral codes in vastly different ways. Bruce came to his "no killing" rule on his own; he made that decision for himself. It wasn't taught to him, it was a moment-of-truth kind of situation. Damian, on the other hand is in a vastly different situation.

Dami is, I think, at the beginning of the climb to his own moment-of-truth. He is in his rebellious phase like Dick, where he's gone off to spread his wings. It's not his conscious intention (at least that's not the vibe I got from reading the first two issues), but its directly underlying his "mission".

Damian is growing out of the expectations of his parents and into his own person. We all know he's been thrown from one moral code to another, both drastically different from each other. I don't think its a regression for him to lose his way a little, because realistically, he's going to have to in order to find it, specifically a moral compass that he forged on his own. He's just what? 14? Like hell a kid his age wants to listen to any form of authority. He's as stubborn as it comes. Damian needs to come to his decision regarding the path he takes in life on his own. It can't be made for him. He's seen and lived both sides of the coin, and I don't think he should be forced just yet to choose a side or pave a middle ground, but I do think that he should get the opportunity to see and experience all the gray areas on his own.

I think I'll transition from characterization to story here, because let's face it, this story is about Damian dealing with his confused emotions right now, in the wake of losing Alfred, a man that kind of acted like a grounding presence, a voice of reason, or a moral compass for him (and honestly Bruce and the rest of the bat crew if we're honest).

Story

So there's a lottttt going on in the story that is really enticing and exciting, and I'm really interested to see how it all plays out.

All the rules to the tournament are so, sketchy? Like they don't sound like they are meant to be sketchy, its basic safety and guidelines or whatever but with all the glowy green shit and the stakes of the tournament? Yeah, you can bet your ass its the "no fighting at night" and other shit is gonna be broken, and that's likely when the fun begins *insert evil laughter*😈

I was slightly put off by the whole "let me teach you to have fun" thing with Rose, because it's not like Dick, Steph, Jon, and like the Titans haven't done that with him too, but eh, not something I'm too concerned about. It's definitely just a segway to get us introduced to more characters that might become Damian's friends which will be interesting considering what Mother Soul said about fraternizing.

And that's another thing! I want Damian to make some friends! I know he already has some, but here's the thing: I think he's already been struggling with belonging, and he's definitely been feeling the disconnect between his life and other kids', whether they're supers/vigilantes or not. I think it'd be nice to see Dami have the experience of meeting people who he at first thinks are just like him!! and then realizing that maybe he doesn't really fit in here either, and that it's okay to feel like you don't belong, as isolating as it may feel at times. It just means you have a set of values. I want him to realize that its not always a bad thing, and you learn more about yourself and your own heart this way.

And from there,,, lets talk about the thing that stuck out to me the most in these two issues! GUILT!! It's mentioned SOO many times already, and I think its going to be a really fun, heartbreaking, and interesting aspect to explore about Damian. Is it guilt about his actions? Leaving behind family? Not being able to save Alfred? Not being a perfect example of Robin? He may call himself Robin but he doesn't sport the OG look or symbol like before. I love that his guilt takes on the form of Alfred though, or at least his conscious. I think it'd be really interesting to see this conscious disappear when Dami strays too far from his center, and when he finds it again, it reappears.

I really think that seeing Damian's actions in this run as a failure of character development is an unfair assessment, though. You can't do everything right in order to grow! You have to screw up, lose your way, experiment with life to find your fit, right?

Something tells me he doesn’t care for the tournament itself, but the end result, and the people behind it and more about WHY it was hidden from him. I mean he finds out the tournament TRULY begins once everyone has died once and tHEN he kill everyone? Felt to me less like a “killing spree” as everyone put it to a calculated decision to get the tournament going. He literally cuts Mother Soul off in the middle of her speaking to start fighting at the beginning

Anyway, just my thoughts lol. I do have some issues with the past two issues, and I might make a separate post about that, but honestly not enough for me to dislike Robin 2021 so far. I mean, besides the very obvious white-washing in the second issue, because DC can absolutely do better. And they should. It’s like they thought we wouldn’t notice???? But besides that, story and characterization-wise I’m looking forward to more. Here’s to hoping it stays that way, just with a better colorist!

#dc comics #robin 2021 #damian wayne #robin

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