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taeyongdoyoung · 2 years

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summary: as you begin dating both hyunjin and minho behind their backs, instead of happiness, guilt is the main emotion you’re experiencing. and just as you’re intending to come clean about your wrongdoings, karma has a funny way of biting you in the ass...

pairing: minho x reader x hyunjin

genre: high school!au, ANGST, romance, enemies to lovers, friends to lovers

warnings: swearing, two-timing, lying, secrets, a lot of guilt, confessions, shakespeare (cuz it’s me), pet names (e.g. babe, darling, sunshine), crying, yelling, car accident, hospital room, mentions of bullying, hyunho dark past revealed, the beginning of something new...

author’s note: the title is inspired by stray kids’s sorry, i love you; also have a felix cameo and remember that despite my current hyunho hyperfixation, he’s still my bias ☀️ oh, and some loona names thrown around just because

word count: 5.1k

part one: even a fool knows

part three: i wanna STAY with you

taglist: @changbinscypher ✨ @hyunjinslovelys ✨ @a-hyunjinshairband✨ @chaelinhhwang ✨ @qtieskz ✨ @lcvryu ✨

"Shall we go on three dates?" Hyunjin asked once he was done kissing you. Which, to your merit, lasted quite some time... "If things don't work out romantically, we'll just stay friends. If they do, we'll start being in a proper relationship. How does that sound?"

"Hyun, a million dates with you wouldn't be enough for me. I like you that much," you confessed openly, burying your head into his chest. "But whatever you wish, I'm all for it."

"Great! I'm so excited to take you out and-"

"However, I do have one condition," you said.

"Anything for you, sunshine," Hyunjin promised, trusting you blindly. God, you felt like such an asshole sometimes.

"Can we keep it on the low-low at school?"

"Are you embarrassed of me?" he feigned offense dramatically.

"Of course not! I'm just afraid a certain someone will get annoyed upon seeing our happiness and might start bullying you again," you lied.

Actually, you just didn't want Minho to know you were seeing Hyunjin. And vice versa. Maybe that made you a terrible person but you didn't want to end things with Minho. Even though you were fairly certain he had actually changed and wouldn't bully Hyunjin again. You had grown quite fond of Minho and couldn't possibly imagine calling it quits. Deep down, you knew it was wrong. But you liked them both quite a bit. And life without either of them seemed devoid of meaning.

"That's valid," Hyunjin agreed easily. "Besides, it's just a few months till graduation. Once we go to college, I'll be able to kiss you in front of the whole world."

Your heart melted at the fact he was already thinking long-term about you two. Could Minho say the same? And when the day of graduation arrived, would you have to end things with him? No, you shouldn't trouble yourself with such thoughts. There was still time to figure everything out.

"Where are we going on our first date?"

"Hm, how about the ice skating rink?"

"Sounds fun," you immediatel agreed. "But you should have in mind I'll fall a lot. For you."

Hyunjin rolled his eyes and giggled. Then, he pretended to call an invisible phone as a joke:

"911, we have an emergency. My girlfriend is super lame."

You nudged his arm playfully and couldn't stop your laughter from coming out. He made you genuinely happy. You didn't deserve him. But you couldn't imagine leaving Minho, either. Just when he was showing you a more sensitive, kind-hearted side...It would devastate him. And you instinctively knew he needed affection just as much as anyone else.

Your first date with Hyunjin was as fantastic as you'd expected it to be. Luckily, you didn't run into anyone from school. So, your secret was safe for now. You enjoyed playing on the ice with your boyfriend (fuck, you'd never grow tired of saying that word), holding his hand and wrapping a giant scarf around his beautiful neck. Every little moment with Hyunjin sparked so much joy that you were greedy for more. More little moments, more hand-holding and kissing. But there was a tiny voice at the back of your head telling you that you didn't deserve any of this. Maybe it was right. But you were too far gone to stop.

"Hey, babe, I haven't seen you in forever," Minho told you one night when he surprised you with one of his favourite drives to your place.

"Sorry, Min, I've been working on many assignments and college applications, you know how it is," you responded, only a half-lie. It was true you had been looking into colleges and having assignments, but your free time, you had been spending going on dates with Hyunjin. Needless to say, their number exceeded three. And you were planning on having many more in the future. "Did you miss me?" you teased.

"You know I did," he smiled sadly. "I thought you were avoiding me."

"Nooo, darling. I'm sorry it seemed that way. I'm going to spend more time with you from now on."

Homework and your future college be damned. Minho was one of your priorities right now and you needed to prove that you would be there for him.

"Promise?" he pouted and you couldn't believe this was the same guy who had once bullied your best- Scratch that, your boyfriend. Because Hyunjin was just that. What were you doing? If Minho found out, he'd be heart-broken. If Hyunjin found out, you were afraid this would be the end of, not only your relationship, but your entire friendship.

"Promise," you couldn't resist saying and wrapped your arms around Minho, trying not to think about Hyunjin while you were with Minho.

"I really like you, Y/N," he whispered, taking you aback. "I know I'm terrible at expressing my feelings but I thought you should know that."

"That's really sweet of you," you replied.

"You're not going to say it back?" Minho groaned.

"Nah, I still hate your guts," you joked. "Of course, I like you, too, Min. Would I be here if I didn't?"

"Sometimes I think you're still afraid I'd go back to my old ways and torment your best friend. I hope I'm not right."

God, why did he have to bring Hyunjin up right now? Just as you were trying to momentarily forget your overwhelming sense of guilt. You sighed and withdrew slightly so that you could look into his eyes.

"I'm not scared of you, Lee Minho," you insisted. "I'm here because I think you don't deserve to be alone."

"So...you pity me?" he frowned.

"I didn't say that."

"That's what I heard, though."

"Fuck, you can be really frustrating sometimes," you sighed. "I'm here because I want to be with you. Now, will you stop overthinking it so we can enjoy this beautiful night together?"

"Right, sorry," Minho nodded and pulled you into his arms once again. "This is the first time I've felt so happy and I just...can't help but worry I'll somehow mess it up. I didn't mean to make you upset."

"I'm not upset," you lied. That was becoming a habit. "I like making you happy. Please, don't ever doubt that." Ha! If anything, Minho had every right to doubt you. As you had done nothing but be dishonest.

"If I ever do something to upset you, please talk to me about it. I don't want this to end."

Lee Minho...wanting to communicate through potential issues. You would have teased him about it if your heart wasn't overflowing with pride.

"Noted. And the same goes for you. I would hate to hurt you, Min."

He smiled sweetly and caressed your hair.

"You could never."

Oh, how wrong he was.

As things were becoming more serious between you and Hyunjin, you were simultaneously becoming happier and feeling guiltier for having a thing with Minho behind Hyunjin's back. At the sime time, every second you were spending with Minho, your mind was troubled by how you were not only betraying Hyunjin's trust but also potentially doing something that could hurt Minho in a way you weren't sure it was possible to come back from. Just when he'd begun to trust you and open up more, you had gotten into a relationship with Hyunjin. Despite the increasing sense of guilt clouding your mind, you couldn't picture your life without either of these boys. Ending things with just one of them was bound to devastate you. The only thing that was giving you hope was that graduation was just around the corner. And once you went to college, chances were you'd continue seeing your best friend Hyunjin but it would be easier to ignore Minho. And as painful as that idea sounded, maybe it was for the best.

"Did you hear the threatre club's female lead got really sick?" Hyunjin told you one day. "They're looking for someone to step in. The play is in less than a month. Thought you'd be interested."

"Doesn't the theatre club have other girls?" you asked.

"Nah, Haseul, Jinsoul and Yves graduated last year so currently the theatre club only has boys. And Yeji, who got sick."

"I'm sorry for Yeji and the club having difficulties but my schedule is really packed, I'm afraid I don't have much time on my hands."

That was only partially true. You were usually quick at finishing your homework and you already had a sort of plan what you were going to do in college. You needed the rest of your free time to continue seeing Hyunjin and Minho without either of them finding out about the other...

"Please, just give it a try," Hyunjin insisted. "My friend Felix could really use some help."

You sighed. It was impossible to say no to your doting, precious boyfriend.

"What is the role in question?"

"Desdemona. Lix said they're doing Othello."

You almost laughed at the irony of it. Of course, poor Desdemona was perfectly innocent and wrongfully accused of cheating on Othello. Unlike you. It would be such a cruel twist of fate if the theatre club actually accepted you to act as Desdemona. Yet again, you had to remind yourself no one knew. It could be fun. Maybe you'd even learn a lesson or two in the preparation for the role.

"When are they having rehearsals?"

"Everyday after classes," Hyunjin informed you. "I'll understand if you have less time to go out with me, by the way. Just take this chance. Not only will you help my friend but the experience could also be useful for your college application essay, right?"

"Sure, it sounds like a great idea."

"Awesome! I'll text Felix to tell him you're in."

You gave Hyunjin a half-hearted smile.

After classes, you showed up at rehearsals and were surprised to find out how easy it was for you to memorize lines. After all, you were quite bookish and you'd read Othello before. It was also tragically ironic how easy you found it to get into character. Despite Desdemona's blameless nature, you were doing a great job as an actress, according to Felix. Maybe because you had been doing nothing but lie to those dearest to you in the recent past. And were only planning to continue doing so.

As the official performance of the play was approaching, you were growing more confident in your abilities and less confident in whether you deserved so much happiness and attention. Soon enough, you got your answer.

You were sitting in Minho's car one night, his late drives to your place were becoming a regular thing. It was strange...in the dark, you felt perfectly safe and comfortable.

"My friend Felix told me you landed female lead in the school's play," Minho said casually.

"You know Felix from theatre club?" you were surprised to find out Hyunjin and Minho had a common friend. Other than you. Well...you weren't strictly their friend.

"Of course, I know him," Minho shrugged. "We go to dance club together."

That was beyond strange. You'd heard Hyunjin telling you he also knew Felix from dance club. Did that mean...No fucking way. Did Minho and Hyunjin attend the same dance club? Could it be connected with why Minho used to bully Hyunjin? Was there some drama between them you had no clue about? Apparently, you were not the only one keeping secrets...

"Is this...the same club Hyunjin goes to?" you were too curious and couldn't resist the temptation of asking.

"I'm surprised he hasn't told you," Minho scoffed, but quickly changed the subject. You decided not to press him further for fear of making him angry or suspicious.

"Anyways, I was wondering if...you wanted me to come watch you at the play thing. I won't approach you in front of your friends, you don't need to worry about me embarrassing you."

"Min..." you mumbled, feeling touched by his consideration. And simultaneously, guiltier than ever. "You're not embarrassing me, I just don't want to make anyone upset. And of course, I'd love it if you came. But only if you want to, don't feel pressured."

"I'm not. It would make me so happy to watch my talented girl on the stage," Minho insisted. God, it was breaking your heart how much you were on the verge of breaking his, without him realizing.

You squeezed him into a tight hug and kissed his cheek.

"What would I do without you?" you exclaimed.

"Aren't I the most supportive boyfriend in the universe?"

You immediately froze into place. This was the first time Minho had referred to himself as you boyfriend. It was devastating he didn't know you already had another boyfriend. It was devastating you were lying to them both. After the play, you would finally come clean. You could no longer live with such guilt. Hyunjin and Minho deserved better than that. After the play, you would tell them the truth. If they chose to leave you, you would completely understand. It would be better for you to be alone than continue to play with their feelings and do something so unfair towards them behind their back.

"You are," you couldn't help yourself from agreeing. "I'm the luckiest girl."

And you meant every word.

The day of the play finally arrived and it went well. You didn't mess up anything and the audience was clapping a lot. Hyunjin's friend Felix was playing Othello and near the end of the performance, he had to "smother" you with a pillow. Honestly, if you weren't constantly preoccupied with the promise you'd made to yourself to tell Hyunjin and Minho everything after the play, you would have had so much fun. But you were anxiously preparing yourself for the conversation, so in your head, the whole play went by in the blink of an eye. As you were leaving the stage, you spotted Hyunjin nearby. He hurried towards you excitedly, giving you a wonderful bouquet of flowers and enveloping you in a hug.

"You were amazing out there!" he praised you.

You hugged him back, naturally, there was nothing suspicious about two friends embracing. But then, Hyunjin seemed so caught up in the moment, that he seemed to forget his promise he would keep things between you on the low-low at school. That he did the one thing he shouldn't have done. He kissed you. And you did the one thing you couldn't come back from. Kissed him back.

Once you opened your eyes, you noticed Minho a couple of metres away. But it was too late. He had already seen everything. You blinked in surpise and slowly withdrew from Hyunjin. Minho was speeding towards you two like a feral cat. Before you could open your mouth to explain, Minho had grabbed your hand and Hyunjin's, pulling you out of the theatre hall and into the corridor.

"We need to talk. Now."

"What's going on?" Hyunjin looked immensely worried as his former bully dragged him after him.

You knew that trying to reassure him would be pointless. Your secret was already halfway out and it was only a matter of time before the whole of it came out to the surface. Once in the corridor, Minho yelled:

"What the fuck did I just see?"

"I can't even date in peace without you interferring?" Hyunjin was in disbelief.

"And you had to pick her?" Minho groaned in frustration.

"What's that to you?" Hyunjin scoffed, still having no idea.

You were sobbing uncontrollably, overwhelmed by everything that was happening. Minho turned his anger towards you instead of Hyunjin.

"Tell him. Tell him or I will."

You shook your head, unable to utter a word.

"Your sweet little girlfriend has been fucking me," Minho hissed at Hyunjin. "Did you honestly think I stopped bullying you out of the sheer kindness of my heart? We had an agreement."

Hyunjin took a hesitant step backwards.

"Tell me it isn't true. Tell me he's just lying to mess with me."

You couldn't possibly deny it. So, you just kept crying.

"No," Hyunjin found it impossible. "What the fuck, Y/N?"

"I was going to tell you,"

"When? When we graduated? When we got married?" Hyunjin and it broke you that he had been thinking that far into the future.

"After the play," you murmured dumbly. "I swear, I was going to come clean. But then, you kissed me and Minho saw and-"

"What difference does it make whether you were going to tell us or not?" Hyunjin cried out.

You tried to reach out for him and hold his hand in a desperate attempt to explain how you felt for both of them and why you did what you did, but Hyunjin pushed you away, running down the corridor and out of the building. You collapsed on the ground as your sobs only became more inconsolable. You were surprised when you felt a pair of arms holding you tightly, as Minho caressed your hair and tried to comfort you.

"I understand why you lied to me. You liked us both too much to end things with either one of us, didn't you?"

You nodded and kept crying.

"Minho..."

"Shh, I'm right here, babe," he kissed the top of your head gently. "But if you ever lie to me again, we're over. Am I clear?"

"You...you don't want to break up with me?" you asked in shock.

"Not when I still believe what we have is worth fighting for. I'll try to talk to Hyunjin, okay? Maybe he'll come around."

"I'm not sure he'll want to talk to you but I would appreciate it. He probably would rather see you than me right now," you sighed.

"Everything will be fine," Minho reassured you, confident in his ability to magically fix things.

"Be careful, alright?"

He promised you he would be and went down to the corridor to catch up with Hyunjin.

Minho's POV

I really wanted to help her make everything work. Even though she lied to me and began dating Hyunjin behind my back. I was surprised at myself. After the initial anger subsided, all that I could think about was how devastating it was so watch her cry. Yes, maybe, she was a little greedy for wanting to have the two of us at the same time. Maybe, it was unfair of her to keep it a secret. But I could get behind her reasoning. Was it so wrong that she liked me so much she even lied to her best friend? And if she believed I could change and do better, be a nicer person, then, the least I could do for her was try and talk to Hyunjin. After all, he was in a similar position. He, too, had been cheated on. I thought we would find common ground. And maybe, if he tried to view things from her perspective, as well...To try and understand she just cared for us both. A lot. And she hadn't hurt us on purpose. Maybe it was worth trying to save this.

As I was walking home, I spotted Hyunjin crossing the street. But he must have been too upset to find out I had a thing with Y/N to see the approaching car. He was too slow. And the vehicle was too fast. Fucking dumbass. Without thinking of the consequences, I jumped into the street, pushing Hyunjin out of the way. But before I could find the time to get out of here myself, I realized my legs were frozen. It was too late. The last thing I saw were the car's lights...

Hyunjin's POV

I was alive. I had been seconds away from getting hit by a car and then, someone pushed me out of the way. And I was alive. Wait. Where was that someone? Fuck...No, no, no, no.

It hadn't been just someone. It was Minho. As I held his lifeless body in my arms, my brain refused to work for a couple of seconds. I couldn't believe he had done this. For me. No, that wasn't important right now. I had to do something. I hurriedly pulled my phone from the pocket of my jeans and called an ambulance. Soon enough, the medics arrived and without thinking, I went into the vehicle with him. Despite our complicated history, I couldn't just leave him there alone right after he'd saved my miserable life.

As the ambulance was parking in front of the hospital and the medics were carrying Minho to the operation room, I realized I had to tell her. Regardless of our recent fight. I couldn't believe it was less than an hour ago. It didn't matter anymore.

"Y/N...you have to come to the hospital on 9 Street," I told her directly.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" she asked.

"I'm fine but...Minho...he...just come, please," I said and hung up. I didn't have the energy to explain this over the phone and didn't have the heart to tell her it was my fault he got hurt. If I hadn't been so reckless, if I had watched where I was going, he wouldn't have jumped out to save me. I just had to pray he would survive this. If he didn't, I would never be able to forgive myself.

Reader's POV

"Felix, could you drive me to the hospital on 9 Street?" you were panicking. You had no car and no idea how to get there and the first thing that came to your mind was the fact Felix was nearby and had probably come to the theatre with his own vehicle.

"Sure, let's go right now," your friend and co-star immediately said he would help. "Is it a family thing?"

You shook your head.

"Is Hyunjin alright?"

"I think so."

"Did someone get hurt?"

"Minho...he...I'm not sure what's wrong myself," you sighed. "Hyunjin told me to get there and he implied something happened to Minho."

Felix nodded in a strange way that led you to believe perhaps he knew about something (other than you) that connected Hyunjin and Minho. Something you didn't know. Some sort of falling out, perhaps? You were once again reminded of the fact the three of them were in same dance club together. You desperately wanted to get to bottom of this mystery. But first, you had to make sure Minho was okay.

"Listen..." Felix started. "When I was changing out of my costume, I overheard the three of you in the corridor."

"Oh, great, now everyone knows I'm a lying, cheating bitch," you replied sarcastically.

"Hey, no judgment here. Hyunjin seemed pretty pissed off out there but I’m sure he'll come around eventually."

"Minho said something similar, actually," you smiled sadly. "He followed him because he wanted to talk to him."

"Typical Minho," Felix chuckled thoughtfully.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

You had no idea that someone other than you viewed Minho in such a positive light. It made you happy, in a sense. But also, it made you confused as to how Felix knew Minho so well.

"It's not my story to tell," Felix grinned mysteriously and parked the car abruptly. "We're here. Do you want me to come with or...?"

"I think I'll be fine. Thanks for the ride. You should get home and have some rest. By the way, I never got to tell you that you were outstanding today, Othello."

Felix waved you off humbly.

"Go get your men, Desdemona," he joked. "And give me a call if you need anything."

"Thank you, Felix. It really means the world to me," you spoke sincerely and hurried into the hospital.

Once you got inside and asked the nurses what room Minho was in, they told you he was currently being operated and you had to wait for a while. You were on the verge of a mental breakdown but you told yourself you had to be strong for him. Luckily, you found Hyunjin in the corridor, also eager for a time when the doctors would have more information on Minho's well-being.

"What happened?" you asked Hyunjin and upon seeing his pitiful expression, just went ahead and hugged him. You were surprised he didn't reject your affection and let you embrace him. Stroking his long hair, you couldn't do much but wait for him to speak.

"I didn't see the car. Minho...he came out of nowhere and pushed me out of the way. It...hit him instead. It's all my fault."

"Don't say that," you cried out. "If anything, it's my fault for lying to you both. You must have been so upset you didn't even realize you were crossing the street. All because of me."

"It's no good if we blame ourselves, though," Hyunjin pointed out. "When Minho is the one suffering the most."

"You're right," you sighed. "All we can do now is wait and be there for him when he wakes up."

You couldn't fathom the thought of it being an if. It had to be a when. He had to wake up.

Time went by and eventually, you were sitting in a hospital room next to an unconscious Minho lying in his bed. Hyunjin and you cried quite a bit upon seeing Minho but at one point, your tears dried up and you started talking to Minho. You weren't sure if he could hear but you had to try.

"Please, Min, wake up. There are so many things I haven't told you yet. Please, I need you," you kept saying.

"I can't believe you would risk your life to save mine. Fucking dickhead," Hyunjin teased but his words contained no venom. "You know how much I hate feeling indebted to someone. You gotta wake up and tell me what I can do to repay you."

"If you really want to thank me for saving your sorry ass, you should give her a second chance," Minho whispered weakly.

"Minho!" you exclaimed happily, gripping his hand tightly, but not too tight to hurt him, as you were trying to be considerate of the fact he had recently been in a car accident.

Hyunjin, on the other hand, was not capable of self-restraint and straight-up hugged Minho.

"I'll even give you a second chance if you want me to!"

"Ouch, that hurts," Minho complained a tad bit too dramatically.

"Sorry, sorry," Hyunjin immediately let go of him.

"Y/N, tell Hyunjin what we talked about before I ran after him," Minho suggested.

"It doesn't matter, I already said I'd give her a second chance, didn't I?" Hyunjin repeated.

"It does matter. Just hear her out, okay?"

"I just...You both mean too much to me and I didn't tell you the truth earlier because I didn't want lose either of you. I like...no, I'm sorry but I love you. You two are too pretty to be just friends. And you’re also kind and talented and supportive. And I know that by lying to you, I risked losing both of you. But now that you know how I feel, I can only hope, no, pray that you would still want to be in my life."

"I get that now," Hyunjin admitted and gave your hand a heartfelt squeeze. "And like I said, I'm willing to put this behind us."

"Same here," Minho reasserted his intention, cutely smiling at you and Hyunjin.

"What I still don't get," Hyunjin continued speaking, turning to Minho, "is why you used to bully me in the first place. We were such good friends, what happened?"

They were? Was this connected to your suspicions about the dance club drama? Was that the thing Felix had labelled as "it's not my story to tell"?

"You don't remember?" Minho blinked in surprise.

"Honestly, I have no idea."

"We're here anyways and by the looks of it, I'm not getting out soon, so I might as well enlighten you," Minho conceded.

Finally! You had been dying to know what went down between these two.

"The year I came to our high school, one of the first extracurricular activities I signed up for was the dance club. Hyunjin and I hit it off immediately, we had a lot in common. One afternoon, we came up with this really cool choreo together and the teacher loved it. He gave me the center position and I was so overjoyed and excited for our first competition that I practised every moment I wasn't in class. Day and night, rehearsal after rehearsal. Until one evening I hurt my leg pretty badly. The competition was the following day. So, who could possibly replace me in such short notice but the other guy who'd come up with this amazing choreo? Hyunjin. And I was fine with that, I really was. After all, Hyunjin reassured me it was just a temporary thing. And I'd be back on my feet before I know it. And indeed, soon after the competition, I was completely healthy. So imagine my surprise when one day I overheard the teacher asking Hyunjin if he wanted to be the center for all the upcoming performances, as well. Even though my leg was alright, the teacher said Hyunjin fit the center position and the whole concept of the dance team better than I ever could. And Hyunjin agreed to do it. Fuck, I felt so betrayed back then. I used to think it was so selfish to discard me like that. But my passion for dancing was too strong and I put up with seeing Hyunjin's face every goddamn day. But outside of the dancing hall, I had to do something to let out my frustrations. And...well, you know the rest."

"My God, Minho, I didn't know you heard that. To be honest, I only agreed with the teacher because at the time you didn't seem that interested in the center position. If I had any idea how important it was to you, I would have stepped out. I would have talked to the teacher or something. I'm really sorry, Minho...For what it's worth, I think you're the most talented dancer out there."

Minho smiled gratefully and gave Hyunjin an understanding nod.

"Well, what's past is past. I'm glad we can open a new page."

"For Y/N's sake?" Hyunjin asked.

"And for each other's," Minho replied meaningfully and even winked at Hyunjin!

"Hello, I'm still here, Romeo and Julio," you teased them.

"Oh, get over it, Desdemona," Hyunjin chuckled.

"Hey! Did you even get the meaning of the play? Desdemona was innocence personified. Unlike me."

"Truly, you're the villain of our story," Minho joked.

"Not the point but whatever," you rolled your eyes. "If Othello hadn't been a jealous prick, poor Desdy would have still been alive! Ah, the tragedy of it all."

"I gotta admit, Felix made Othello seem kinda...fluffy," Hyunjin observed.

"I know, right?" Minho exclaimed. "Even when he was smothering our girl with that pillow, I was like...wait, are they cuddling?"

"Totally," Hyunjin shared his view.

And despite you being the object of ridicule, there was nothing that brought you more joy than your loved ones finally agreeing on something.

To be continued...

#stray kids #hyunjin #hyunjin x reader #lee know #lee know x reader #hyunjin angst #lee know angst #stray kids angst #hwang hyunjin #lee minho #hyunho #writing

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breadqueen95 · 3 years

Text

Dress - Bucky Barnes

bucky barnes x fem!reader

wc: 5k

plot: bucky and y/n’s relationship is new, and they don’t want to share with their friends just yet. but something as simple as a dress can change anyone’s mind, even the winter soldier.

content warnings: kissing. physical affection. flirting. allusions to sex. drinking. being drunk. language. bucky being a flirt.

a/n: this is for @natasha-romancff and her taylor swift writing challenge! it took me awhile, but i’ve had a ton of fun writing this. so many bucky fics are angsty, and rightly so the man has some TRAUMA. but for my first bucky fic, based on dress by taylor swift, i wanted something happier for him

***

Damn. That was a lot of leg.

“I don’t know,” you muttered as you stared into the mirror, “aren’t these things…a little classier than this?”

“Uh…have you met Tony Stark?” Natasha grumbled as she continued to scroll through her phone. “The man has never been classy a day in his life.”

“Well I know he isn’t, but fancy people show up to these things. I just don’t want to embarrass myself.” You were currently standing in front of the full-length mirror in Wanda’s room, staring at the reflection of a woman who didn’t quite look like you.

But it was you, wasn’t it? It was just…that you was wearing a very short, very sexy red cocktail dress. The sweetheart neckline was a nice touch, but the back was completely open. And that hemline? Definitely hiked way up past your knees.

“Y/n, relax,” Wanda reassured in her lilting accent, “sure, the dress is a little…spicier…than you’re used to, but it’s in a good way.”

“I’m pretty sure every single person would be able to tell I spend my days in tactical gear. God, I’m not sure I even know how to walk in heels this high!”

Heaving a dramatic sigh, Natasha threw her phone down and looked at you in the mirror. Her eyebrows were raised, and she was giving you her usual ‘don’t give me that shit’ look. It nearly had you shaking in your very strappy black heels.

“Are you kidding me, y/n? I’ve seen you strut in enough fancy parties during undercover missions to know that you’ve got this.”

“Yeah,” Wanda scoffed as she took a sip of red wine from her glass, “all she’s nervous about is what Bucky will think.”

Rolling your eyes, you tried to hide how much that sentence affected you.

“C’mon, Wanda. You know Bucky and I are just friends.”

“Do friends undress each other with their eyes whenever they’re in the same room?”

Damn it. Damn Wanda and her stupid perceptiveness.

“You’re reading too much into it, Wanda.” She just laughed at you, acting like she knew so much better.

What you knew and wasn’t ready to admit to your two best friends, was that she was right on the money.

Bucky Barnes, the infamous Winter Soldier, your favorite person in the entire world, was now your boyfriend. He had been for a few weeks now. The two of you were insanely private people. Hell, it had been years before the two of you had finally learned everything about each other. Once you had gotten past the walls the other had so carefully crafted, well…

At that point you were in love.

But the others didn’t need to know that, not yet at least. The Avengers were a family, your family. They were really the only true family you’d ever had. But Bucky…Bucky was finally yours. And you were his. You didn’t think it was crazy to just want to enjoy that, just the two of you, without everyone else sharing their jokes and opinions just yet. They did it out of love, you both knew that, but you just wanted him all to yourself.

As you looked back at your reflection in the mirror, you took a minute to really consider what Bucky’s reaction might be. He had the best poker face in the room no matter who he was with, but you knew him well enough to know how he was feeling just based on his eyes. He’d always said how much he loved red on you, and he adored every and any excuse to touch your skin. Those steel blue eyes of his would absolutely burn once he saw you in this dress.

And fuck, that was something you really wanted to see.

“Well, if you aren’t going to wear that dress, you better pick something else,” Nat said, jerking you from your fantasies, “we need to be there in twenty minutes, and we all need to touch up our makeup.”

“Actually…I think I’ll wear it,” you said confidently, trying to hide your grin as you ran your hands down the silky fabric.

What you didn’t see was Natasha and Wanda sharing a secret smirk behind you, like they’d known what you’d do the whole time.

***

Six weeks ago, everything had changed for you and Bucky.

You’d known how you felt for a long time. Bucky Barnes, despite his past, was the kind of man anyone could fall in love with. He was sincere, kind, generous, witty…everything you’d ever wanted in a partner. He had been your best friend for even longer.

It had been a long time before you could even admit your feelings to yourself, let alone to him. After everything the two of you had been through, who had the time and mental capacity for romance? It just didn’t seem important. You just chalked up your feelings to being such close friends. All you wanted was to be near him, even if you just sat in silence doing different things. Just being in the same room as Bucky brought you a sort of peace you’d never had before. Whenever he touched you, even if it was just a brief hug or brushing your back to get past you, your skin erupted into goosebumps. But that was just because physical touch was still foreign to you, right?

And his smile. God, his wonderful smile…

Bucky didn’t smile much. He hid behind a mask of stoicism, a remnant from the trauma of his horrible history as the Winter Soldier. Showing any sort of emotion, especially happiness, was hard for him. But when he finally let himself smile? It was the most beautiful thing you’d ever see.

It took several sleepless nights wrestling with those confusing feelings to figure it out. You didn’t just see Bucky as your best friend. You had it bad. Not just “oh my god he’s so handsome” bad, like the “I would take a bullet for you I’m so in love” bad. That revelation? It left you euphoric. It also left you scared.

Because you were so sure Bucky didn’t feel the same. And that thought was like a knife to the heart every time it flashed through your mind.

So you kept it to yourself. You tried to keep things as normal as possible, but your heart kept fluttering whenever he walked into a room. Being so close to Bucky meant you confided in each other about pretty much everything, and he knew you well enough to know you were hiding something.

It all exploded on a Tuesday night in the compound.

Tuesdays were your movie nights. Bucky had a lot of pop culture to catch up on, so on this night every week he would come by your room to watch a movie. It was a weekly tradition that kind of started by accident. You were shocked he still hadn’t made time to watch Lord of the Rings, so you forced him onto your couch with popcorn and The Fellowship of the Ring. He loved it so much, and immediately asked if you guys could watch The Two Towers the next week. How could you say no to him?

Tonight, you were watching 13 Going on 30. It was your all-time favorite romcom, and you figured you could both use a break from all the action and fantasy movies you’d been cycling through. Something with a happy ending was worth indulging in.

“Does that Matt guy look like Banner to you? Or is it just me?” Bucky asked through a mouthful of popcorn.

“Heh, maybe a little,” you said, “Give or take a few years.” He laughed at that, and you forced yourself to laugh quietly. You wanted to blurt out your feelings every time you looked at Bucky, so you’d gotten quieter and quieter every time you spent time with him. It was an awful reaction, and you knew he noticed. But it was better than losing his friendship, right?

After that awful and painfully obvious forced laugh, Bucky let out a huge sigh and paused the movie. He set the bowl of popcorn down on the coffee table in front of the couch, then turned to face you. Exasperation and hurt glimmered in his eyes.

“Y/n, what the fuck is going on with you?”

“W-what do you mean?”

“Oh come on, don’t give me that,” he said sharply, “I know you better than anyone, and I know for a fact there’s something you’re not telling me. Is it me? Did I do something wrong?”

“What? No, god no!” You exclaimed.

“Well it must be something I did, because you’ve never been this quiet around me and it keeps getting worse. I hate it, and I want to know what I did so I can fix it.”

“Bucky, I’m serious, it’s nothing you did—”

“Then why? Why are you shutting me out?” He cut you off angrily, arms thrown wide. “You’re my best friend, I just don’t get why—”

“I don’t want you like a best friend, Bucky!” Your eyes went wide as the words flew from your lips. In the most comical way, you clapped your hand over your mouth as if you could stop the words that had already been said. Bucky’s eyes narrowed in confusion.

Oh fuck. He didn’t get it. Curse him and his old man ways.

“What does that even mean, Y/n? Are you saying you don’t want me around anymore?”

“Bucky, of course not. God, I would never want that. Never in a million years.”

“Then you better explain, because if you haven’t noticed, I’m over 100 years old. I need a little help here.”

“It means, uh…um,” you stuttered, wringing your hands together. “Is there any chance we can just forget I said that?”

“Nope, not a chance.”

“It means…it means that I care about you. As more than a friend.”

His entire face seemed to crinkle as he processed that. If you weren’t freaking out, you’d be obsessing over how damn cute it made him look. Then his eyes got wide as he began to make the connection. Your stomach nearly fell out of your ass as his eyes lifted again to meet yours.

“I…I think I know what you’re saying,” he nearly whispered, “I just need you to get real specific real fast, because I’m not about to say anything until I know exactly what you mean.”

“It means I’m in love with you, okay?” You burst out. Even through your mortification, there was a sudden sense of relief. A secret as big as that had definitely been weighing you down. Now that it was out there, that was one less thing you had to worry about.

His eyes grew even wider. How that was possible, you didn’t even know. That beautiful mouth of his began to turn up into a small smile as he gazed softly at you.

“You’re in love with me?” He asked, his smile getting wider with each passing second.

“What, you need it carved into stone or something?” You couldn’t help but sass him. Did you fucking stutter?

“No, it’s just…I never thought you’d feel that way about me.”

“Well, clearly I do. So you – wait, you mean you’ve thought about this before?”

“Of course I have,” he said as he shrugged, “I’ve been in love with you for two years now, how could I not think about it?”

You were instantly filled with warmth and pure bliss. In all your obsessing over your own feelings, you’d never allowed yourself to consider that he might feel the same about you. It just didn’t seem possible.

“I’m sorry,” you burst out, holding a hand up, “you’re telling me you’ve been into me for two years and didn’t say anything?”

“Why didn’t you?” He shot back, inching closer to you.

“Because you’re my best friend. I didn’t want to lose you because of stupid feelings I have.”

“But…I have those same ‘stupid feelings’ for you. So can we just cut the whole act and get on with it?” Bucky brought a hand up to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing along your skin so gently.

“Uh…um…get on with what?”

“Well I’d kinda like to kiss you, if you’re cool with it.”

“Bucky Barnes did you just use current slang to ask if you could kiss me?” You didn’t move an inch as his face moved right in front of yours, breath intermingling as you gazed into each other’s eyes. God, was this really happening?

“Yeah, guess your lessons worked,” he murmured.

“Well you better kiss me, then.”

As soon as your lips met, it was like coming home.

***

That memory, your favorite memory, replayed in your head as the three of you stepped into the elevator. Nat and Wanda were happily chatting about who would be there, what kind of antics Tony would cook up tonight, if there would be music we could actually dance to. You know, normal party things.

All you could think about was how long you had to stay until you could sneak off with your boyfriend.

You were so happy Wanda and Natasha had convinced you to wear this dress. When you’d first put it on, the difference from your normal look was so jarring that it took you a few minutes to get used to it. But now that you had, now that you felt the silky fabric shifting against your skin as you moved, now that you saw how dangerously long your legs looked in these heels…

Damn, you felt sexy.

And that sexy feeling? It made you want Bucky’s hands all over you.

But this was a party. A party thrown by Tony Stark, one of the most perceptive and observant people you’d ever met. If you left too soon, if he thought you weren’t “having enough fun”, he’d be more than a little upset. So you had to stay, drink, mingle, maybe dance a little…and then, maybe later, you could go do what you actually wanted.

The elevator pinged, indicating you had reached the topmost floor of the compound. This floor was home to a huge communal space, often used for just hanging out with the team. But on nights like tonight, Tony went all out and turned the space into something that resembled…a club?

The three of you stepped out into the massive room, upbeat music already blasting from the speakers. Typical Tony – he never really outgrew his love for dancing and parties. The bass thrummed through your body, making you want to move to the music. The lights were dim, but you could still tell who was around. It looked like you were some of the last members of the team to arrive. There was a huge bar off to the side, and Natasha headed that way right away. You turned to ask Wanda if she wanted to follow Nat, but she was already making a beeline for Vision. Smiling, you just turned right back around to follow Natasha. A drink sounded pretty good right now.

As you made your way to the bar, you felt more than a few pairs of eyes on you as you walked. You sneakily looked around as you went, noticing men and women watching you with admiration, and dare you say it, longing. As someone whose job was to blend in with the background all the time, this was a different and slightly addictive feeling. You leaned on the bar next to Nat right as the bartender slid her drink over to her.

“Straight whiskey tonight? Damn, going hard.” You quipped.

“Hey now, you know I can handle my liquor. It’s you we need to watch out for, you lightweight.”

Laughing, you scanned the party guests, looking for the one person you wanted to see. Tony had had arm around Pepper’s waist, both laughing at something Rhodey had said. Bruce lingered around them, drink in hand and looking a little nervous, but still happy to be included. Wanda and Vision were sitting quietly on one of the couches, both looking absolutely smitten with each other. Scott Lang, one of the newest additions, was busting some moves, while Peter Parker laughed as he watched. Thor, who was visiting from Asgard, laughed boisterously as he watched various guests try to lift his hammer. You couldn’t help the smile growing on your face. You loved these people so much.

Then, you saw him.

Bucky was with Sam and Steve, as usual. But even as Sam and Steve were talking animatedly next to him, those gorgeous blue eyes of his were glued to you. There was a kind of intensity in them you hadn’t seen before. Your breath whooshed from you body as he grinned at you. Trying to maintain the suggestive image your dress gave you, you managed to send a flirtatious smile his way, then turned back around to face the bar. Leaning against the counter, you knew he’d get an eyeful of your bare back. God, this was fun.

The bartender finally made his way over to you, and you ordered two tequila shots.

Nat turned to you, one eyebrow arched in surprise as she asked, “And you say I’m going hard? You can’t just down two shots right away, babe.”

“I’m not doing two shots; you think I’m stupid?” The bartender slid the shots over to you along with two lime wedges. “One is clearly for you.”

Unable to hold back a laugh, Natasha put her arm around your shoulders and pulled you into her side as she said, “Why the fuck not, let’s do it.” The two of you went through the process: salt, shot, lime. You couldn’t help but wince as you downed the harsh liquor. Of all the shots in the world, tequila probably tasted the worst. The only reason you kept going for it was the warmth it traced down your body, and you felt your muscles begin to loosen up.

“Two more,” you called over to the bartender.

“Uh, no,” Natasha shot at you, grabbing her whiskey, and pushing off the bar, “I’m good with my top shelf shit, you keep going after that gasoline if you want but I’m out.”

“C’mon, Nat,” you called out, “what am I gonna do with two shots?”

“I’m sure you’ll find someone else, babe.” She said with a wave over her shoulder.

Sighing, you turned back to the ridiculously pretty bar (seriously, how much had Tony paid for this thing?). Who else would help you look cool and sexy at a bar for your secret boyfriend?

Okay, that was the cringiest thought you’d ever had. Gross.

As the bartender slid the tequila in front of you, you steeled yourself for the nastiness that was about to happen.

“Fuck, I didn’t think this through,” you mumbled.

“Yeah, you tend to do that,” a deep voice answered on your right. Instead of being the slightest bit surprised, you couldn’t help but smile. You’d know that voice anywhere.

“Something I can do for you, Barnes?” You looked up at him from under your lashes.

“Well, it looks like you’ve got an extra shot there. Thought I could bail you out.”

“Is that all?”

Bucky shifted so that your arms were just barely touching. His hand was right next to yours, and you reached out with your pinky to lightly brush his.

“Doll, you have the gall to show up in that dress and ask what I want as if you don’t already know?”

“Sorry Buck, I’m a little slow, must be the tequila. You should probably be a little clearer.”

Putting on quite the show of reaching for one of the shots, his mouth somehow ended up right next to your ear.

“I want you.”

It was lucky everyone was so distracted and couldn’t see how you shuddered at his words. Trying to maintain brain function, you managed to take the shot with him. You were now fully facing each other. He was wearing the cockiest smirk you’d ever seen, one that would put Tony Stark to shame. You couldn’t help but respond with that same energy despite the jitteriness his three little words had reduced you to.

“Well why don’t you—”

“Hello, my friends!” A booming voice sounded between you as Thor threw a huge arm over each of you. Bucky, with his stupid super soldier strength, didn’t really have a reaction to it. You, on the other hand, stumbled a little under the weight and force of it. “It’s so good to be back with you tiny humans.”

Was…was he slurring his words?

“Thor…are you drunk right now?”

He simply laughed in response. Well, that answered that.

“Of course I am, tiny person! It can’t be a party without good Asgardian wine.”

“Wait…you have literal god wine?” Bucky, who had a look of vague irritation on his face up to this point, now looked interested. Maybe even a little excited?

“Of course, metal appendage.”

“Dude, you can’t just call Bucky ‘metal appendage’—”

“He can if he lets me have some,” Bucky interrupted.

“We have a bargain!” Thor slapped Bucky on the back before scurrying back over to where he had come from, probably to get the wine he had promised.

“Bucky, you can’t even get drunk,” you hissed, “what exactly is the point of this?”

“Since everything happened, I haven’t found any alcohol strong enough to get me drunk. I figure god wine is worth a shot.”

“Bucky—”

“When I kiss you against a wall later, I wanna be a little tipsy,” he whispered in your ear, “that cool with you?”

Unable to keep yourself from smiling again, you nodded as Thor sauntered back over. Ever since that moment a few weeks ago, right before he kissed you for the first time, asking “is that cool with you?” had become your thing.

And the idea of Bucky kissing you against a wall? Yeah, that sounded pretty good.

***

As it turns out, Asgardian wine is just as potent as Thor had promised.

For the first time in over seventy years, Bucky Barnes was certifiably drunk. It made him feel like the Bucky from all those years ago, and it was the most incredible thing. Here he was, over 100 years old, partying, and all his favorite people were here.

Including his ridiculously hot girlfriend.

Even as they both flitted around the party, Bucky and y/n still found each other’s eyes, even from across the room. They would send winks, smiles, even funny faces. All he wanted to do was be right next to her, talk and dance with her all night…

But they had agreed. They wanted to keep their relationship a secret for now, keep the attention off of them for a bit while they got to know each other in this new way.

But god damn, that dress.

Y/n in red was…indescribable. It didn’t matter what she wore, she was always the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. But in red? In this dress?

She was breathtaking.

“Buck, you breathing?”

A hand waved in front of his face, snapping Bucky’s attention back to the people around him from Y/n’s back. He had been imagining putting his hands all over that back later and had gotten more than a little mesmerized. He managed to get his eyes to refocus, finding a drunk Sam smirking right next to him and an even drunker Steve dancing next to him. But what Steve was doing couldn’t really be called ‘dancing’ per say…more like an aggressive wiggle.

“Why wouldn’t I be breathing?” Of all the things he could’ve said to get Sam’s attention off of him, that wasn’t it.

“Uh, probably because the girl you’re in love with decided to show up and show off tonight? Pretty sure you’re drooling, man.”

Despite himself, Bucky slapped a hand across his mouth, only reducing Sam to wheezing laughter. Knowing he had been caught, he rolled his eyes and grimaced a little. Of all the people to catch him, he wished it hadn’t been Sam.

“I wasn’t…staring… at y/n, I just never see her dressed up is all.”

“I never said anything about the girl being y/n.”

“…fuck.”

“LANGUAGE,” Steve yelled out, pointing a finger at his two friends before returning to his shimmying.

Turning back to him, Sam added, “Just go be with her, Buck. You’re not fooling anyone, and neither is she.”

“We’re that obvious?”

“A few weeks ago you’d at least try to hide it. Now I’m surprised you’re not jumping each other’s bones right here right now.”

“Point taken,” Bucky said, lightly slapping Sam’s shoulder before power walking over to his girl.

***

“Nat, if you don’t stop asking about Bucky and I’s relationship, I’m going to kick you,” you called over the music before taking another swig from your glass. It was no Asgardian wine, but the human stuff wasn’t half bad in your opinion. It wasn’t like you could drink the god shit, anyway. If you had even one sip, you’d be swinging from the ceiling like Miley fucking Cyrus. You were pretty drunk as it was.

“Okay, fine,” she said with a shrug as she took a sip of her whiskey, still as calm and collected as ever. “You’re almost as drunk as he is, you’ll be talking soon enough.”

“Oh? Is that your spy master plan?”

Natasha was still looking as unbothered as ever, but as she looked across the room over your shoulder, her face split into a savage grin.

“It was, but it looks like I might not need it.”

“What do you me—”

Your words were cut off as a large, warm hand enclosed around yours. Whirling around, you were suddenly face to face with the man himself. Bucky was clearly having a good time. His mouth was relaxed into the cutest smile you’d ever seen him wear, and he moved without his normal stiffness and intensity. He threaded your fingers together, smiling down at you with so much love it was a wonder Nat hadn’t said anything yet.

Looking back in front of you, ready to explain yourself, you only found empty air. Guess she’d seen all she needed to, but honestly, you really didn’t care. All you’d wanted the whole night was to be exactly where you were right now; hand in hand with the man you loved.

“We’re just kidding ourselves, doll,” Bucky called next to your ear, “Sam said we’ve been pretty obvious.”

“Nat said the same,” you answered with a sheepish smile, “kind of hard to keep my face under control when you’ve got that leather jacket on.”

“You’re blaming me?” He asked with mock indignation. “You’re the one who looks,” he gestured wildly to your whole body, “like that!”

Trying ignore the heat spreading over your cheeks, you shot back, “Like what?”

“Like the most…” he screwed his face up in the most adorable way as he searched for words, “like the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” As the last few words tumbled out of his mouth, he gazed at you with such a softness you almost melted right into the floor.

“Wanna get out of here?” You asked, finally giving up the game. It was pointless, really. Now, all you wanted to do was for your boyfriend to keep his promise and kiss you against a wall.

Wrapping an arm around your waist, he answered, “Absolutely.” Without looking at a single soul, the two of you began walking as quickly as you could for the exit. You and Bucky were both leaning on each other a bit, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Stepping out into the light of the hallway, you blinked as your eyes adjusted after the dark room you’d spent the last few hours in. Bucky led you until you were right in front of the elevator, and he lazily pressed the button to go up. There was tension in the air between you, like a thread that was being pulled. Biting your lip, you stared at the doors in front of you. You knew if you so much as looked at the man next to you, you’d jump him right then and there.

The shining doors slid open, and the pair of you walked in, his strong arm still around your waist. His grip wasn’t loose in any sense of the word. Bucky kept you right next to him, even as your legs wanted to drift all over the place. You pressed the button for the residential floor.

As soon as those doors slid shut, that thread of tension snapped.

Bucky whirled you to face him, then walked you backward until you were pressed against the wall of the elevator.

“I promised I’d kiss you against the wall, didn’t I?”

He didn’t even wait for a response. His mouth was on yours in an instant, lips moving together like a dance. The kiss was slow and unhurried. You tried to bring him closer, linking your hands behind his neck and pressing yourself to him. Instead of responding in kind, he unwound your arms from around him and pinned them above your head.

Oh damn.

Okay.

No complaints here.

“You’ve been teasin’ me all night just by wearing that dress, sweetheart,” he murmured in between the kisses he trailed down your jaw, “I think it’s my turn.”

“Would it change your mind knowing I only wore this dress so you could take it off?”

The heat that bloomed in those blue eyes of his was unmistakable. As the doors opened on your floor, he swept you up into his arms and began to walk purposefully to his apartment. All the while, he kept that signature cocky smirk of his you’d come to adore.

“Bucky?” You asked once he’d walked into his unit.

“That sentence was the single most attractive thing you’ve ever said,” he murmured as he set you down. Even still, he kept you pressed against him. “But nah, I’m a patient guy. I think I’ll take my time.” He followed this by resuming his slow and sensual kisses, and you couldn’t help but melt into them.

“I love you,” you whispered against his lips.

“I’ll never get tired of hearing that, doll. I love you too.”

***

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes x you #dress #jenna writes #i love lanie #laniestaylorswiftwc

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cheesy-cakey · 3 years

Text

note this is a hatter au from a wattpad book I wrote.

You Weren't there

Kalim X Reader Angst

We had graduated.

We got married.

He inherited his family's riches.

We had a son.

We were happy...

We WERE.

I gazed out the window of my quarters.

I was no longer a Hatter... I was now an Al-Asim.

The Hatter name had died out the moment I decided to be a part of Kalim's family. I still owned our land and property. But I had no use for it.

I thought that this was going be our happily ever after.

Holding the one I love close. Kalim embracing me and our son.

But I guess reality doesn't have a happy ending... Especially us Hatter's.

As I watched the scene out the window.

In the garden was Kalim... With his 2rd wife and daughter.

Yes, that's right. I may be Kalim's first wife... but that doesn't mean I'm the only one.

I watched as he held her hand while with the other he carried his daughter.

I moved away from the window and sat on the plush bed of my quarters.

"How could I be so stupid. How could I be so blind. why did I think... That out of all the people in the world. I would have a happy ending." I muttered to myself as I leaned back on my arms tears pricking out of my eyes.

I went back to the window watching them hold each other close. I traced my hand on the glass feeling the coolness of the material.

I kneeled on the floor hand on the window sill while the other was on the floor.

"If happy ever after did exist~" I sang as I wrapped my arms around myself.

"I would still be holding you like this~"

"All those fairy tales are full of sh*t"

"One more f*cking love song I'll be sick" I sobbed as I was never meant to have a happy ever after.

3rd POV

Little did Y/N know that someone came to visit.

Watching through the crack from the slightly opened door.

Ali Al-Asim watched as his mother broke down crying.

"Why... why of all people... why does it have to be mother that suffers?"

He walked away knowing that it's better to not disturb her like this... He knew seeing him would just remind her of the happy ending she could've had.

He returned to him quarters and sat in one of the chairs in his room.

"Mother... You shouldn't be suffering like this... You told me father loved you... You said he loved you more than the stars in the sky... then why... why does he treat you this way? why does he neglect you? weren't we happy? weren't you happy?" He leaned his head back as tears pricked out his eyes.

"I never get to see you smile anymore. The smile that could shine brighter than the sun. Your eyes became dull... no longer full of hope and happiness like the stars."

he slammed his first into the table Infront of him as tears fell from his face.

"WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A HAPPY EVER AFTER!?"

The 15 year old couldn't bear to see his mother like this...

He's seen her cry too many times...

-Time Skip-

It was Ali's 16th birthday.

Which means a big celebration...

But his mother as much as she wants to attend she couldn't bring herself to leave her room.

The Hatter that used to be full of life, laughing, singing, dancing. The Hatter that enjoyed parties and seeing her friends smile... lost her spark.

-At the celebration-

"Happy Birthday, Young Master, Ali!" The servants cheered.

"Happy birthday, My son!" Kalim exclaimed as he greeted his first born.

"Thank you, Father!" Ali exclaimed with a smile.

"You're 16 now, which school do you wanna attend, Ali!?" His father asked excitedly.

"I want to go to Night Raven College! That's where you went to right, Father?"

"Yes, I did! Me and your uncle Jamil went there together!"

"Then it's settled, NRC it is!"

"I could have the headmaster make you dorm head as well!"

"No, Father. I wish to become dorm head with my own skills." He stated.

"Haaaah? fine, if that is what my son wants. Now everyone! enjoy the party!"

he walked away as he went to meet other guests.

A lot of people were here. His uncles from NRC. His Friends. even his half sister.

But there was only one person Ali wanted to be here.

Ali stood up from his seat and sneaked away.

He went to the quarters of someone he held dear.

he knocked on the door and heard a come in.

"Good evening, mother" he said with a soft smile.

"Ah! Ali, Happy Birthday" She replied with a tired but loving smile.

she was sitting by the window with it being wide open allowing the wind to enter.

He went closer the his mother and kneeled beside her.

"How are you feeling?" Ali asked.

"I'm feeling very well. So how is your birthday?"

"Nevermind the birthday. I just want to stay here with you" he said as he buried his face into her dress resting his head on her lap.

The lady giggled at her son's statement, watching him with caring eyes.

"I have a present for you" She said as she brought out a box.

Ali raised his head.

"Mother... you didn't have to" he said as he received it.

"Oh, but I do. this is something I've been meaning to give you"

Ali opened the box to see a top hat, a golden silk snake wrapping around the hat with a single Jasmine flower.

"It used to be mine. Sometimes in the Hatter family we give it to the person we marry but sometimes we also keep it. But this time it's time to pass it on to the descendant. I redecorated it for you. do you like it?" The elegant lady smiled as she remembered her memories with the hat and proud to be able to hand it down.

Ali looked as the hat.

"I love it... thank you mother" He thanked as he lied down on her lap once again.

"I'm glad you do, my dear son" She placed a hand on his white hair exactly the same as his father's.

Sher stroked his head gently as the moon shone down on them through the window.

-Timeskip-

It was now time for Ali to go to Night Raven College. He said farewell to everyone and as he was about to get on the Ebony Carriage he looked up to a window to see his mother smiling at him. he smiled back and entered.

-at the dorm sorting-

Ali was up next to be sorted.

"State thy name"

"Ali Al-Asim"

"The shape of thy soul... I see you best improve in Scarabia."

He stepped away from the mirror and joined the other students that were sorted into Scarabia.

He will make his mother proud.

-Time skip-

It had been a week since he had arrived. And just like that he had became a dorm head not from money but from skill.

He was currently in potions taught by Professor Crewel.

His phone then suddenly rang.

"Excuse me, Professor. I need to take this call"

"Of course, pup. but next time I won't be allowing it."

Ali answered his phone and it was one of the servants.

He was analysing his potion while he answered.

"What is it? I told you not to call me around this time because I'm in class."

"Apologies, young master. But it's about Lady Y/N"

"Mother? what about her? does she miss me? tell her I'll visit this weekend."

"It's not that sir"

"what is it then?"

"she umm"

"spit it out"

"The lady has passed away"

Ali suddenly dropped the beaker shattering it to a million pieces.

"Al-Asim! bad pup! what are you doing!?"

Ali stood up knocking his seat over. He slammed his hand on his desk that still had the shattered glass and spilled potion. good thing that the potion doesn't give much effect since it wasn't finished.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN PASSED AWAY!?" He yelled as tears pricked from his eyes.

"Al-Asim?" his professor called out worried.

"I mean what I exactly said, young master. The lady passed away earlier this morning. when the servant went to serve her breakfast she didn't wake up. they tried waking her up then realized she wasn't moving. they called a physician... and he said the lady had passed away"

"no... you're lying"

"Ali Al-Asim, what's wrong? Get your hands off the desk your starting to bleed." Crewel said as he took the boys hand from the broken glass and started cleaning it.

"Mother... is she really dead?"

"yes, sir"

"wait... your mother?" his professor asked

"As in... Y/N? she's... no longer with us?" his eyes wide as saucers.

Ali fell on his knees tears spilling not showing any signs of stopping any time soon.

"Mother... no... no... no no no NO! SHE CAN'T BE GONE!" He sobbed.

"Ashengrotto, take him to the infirmary to clean his wound up. The rest of you dismissed. I need to speak with the head master."

"Yes, professor"

-time Skip-

currently Ali was in the head masters office.

"Al-Asim. I heard what had happened. I'll let you go home for as long as you need. I apologize for your loss. You can use the mirror to go home." Crowley said as he watched the boy sob.

he himself wanted to cry since one of the most lovable students he had, had passed away.

"Your mother... was an incredible woman. Not only as a student but as a friend to the rest. It's a shame she... had to leave us so early. I thought that maybe... I'd be dead by the time she leaves."

"Thank you, headmaster... I'll be... heading out now" Ali exited the room and went to the mirror and went home.

Once he had arrived he was greeted by the servants but he just walked right pass.

His sister also greeted him, but he continued walking.

soon he arrived at his mother's bedroom. He saw her... looking like she's sleeping soundly... knowing she's never waking up again.

He walked to her bed side. held her now cold hand and feel to his knees and sobbed uncontrollably

"Mother!... Why.... WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE! I WAS GOING TO GIVE YOU THE HAPPY ENDING YOU DESERVE! BUT WHAT!? YOU ENDED YOUR STORY WITH LONGING THAT WAS NEVER FULFILLED!? WHY!?" he cried... not leaving her side for the rest of the day.

During her funeral, all her friends from NRC came. Tears spilled everywhere as they found their dear friend no longer with them.

they approached Ali who just stood by her coffin.

"Sorry... for your loss... Ali"

He just kept silent.

For the long duration of her funeral... Not once did his father... the man his dear mother loved and longed for, show up.

This had made the boy even more upset. but that did not overpower the sorrow he had.

-Time Skip-

The funeral had long ended...

His mother was buried...

he returned to school but barely spoke.

"Al-Asim... pup. I suggest you go meet with Professor Yuu. You need it"

Ali merely nodded as he went to his magicless professor who taught about monsters and health.

"Ali... take a seat"

Ali sat down across him.

"You haven't been sleeping have you... you have bags under your eyes. You look pale. Ali"

He just sat there.

"I know... I know you're depressed... Your mother was my vice prefect back in our school days. she was a wonderful woman to be with... she laughed... she sang... she smiled... but you know what I love most about her?"

Ali looked up and looked at Yuu.

"She makes people around her smile as well. She wouldn't want you to act like this. Y/N, She too lost a parent in her younger days. But that didn't stop her from being happy... She always had joy in her eyes... and you know you have her E/C eyes as well"

"So please... Don't let this bring you down. Your mother... Be like her. someone who smiles, laughed and most of all makes others do the same. sure reality doesn't have a happy ending. But you're writing your own story so make sure it leads to one."

Ali thought about it. looks back down... looks at the mirror in the room and looked straight into his E/N coloured eyes.

"You're right, Professor. Even if mother is gone... I should make her proud" Ali stood up with smile.

Ali bowed.

"Thank you, Professor Yuu!"

"Just call me, Yuu."

Ali smiled and ran off back to his dorm and to his room.

Yuu on the other hand stood up and went to the window and looked at the sky.

"I wish... I could've held you one last time... Y/N... I loved you so much" Yuu said as he let the tears fall.

Ali pulled a box from under his bed and opened it...

It may not fit his outfit but it doesn't matter.

he stood up holding the object and went to a mirror.

He looked straight at it and placed the hat he was given on his head.

"I'll prove... that I can give us a happy ending, Mother"

and with that Ali changed... He changed for the better. all the old staff watched him... and it reminded them of someone who they once cherished in this school.

-Time Skip-

it's been 2 years since Y/N's passing. Ali Al-Asim was now 18 years old. A third year.

But what's interesting is. when his 1st year ended the mirror had announced something... He was transferred to a different dorm.

-Flashback-

Just as they were all about to leave.

"Wait... It seems someone's soul had reshaped into something new." the mirror had stated.

"What? but that's not possible" Crowley said in surprise.

"Ali Al-Asim... Step forward"

Ali hesitantly stepped up.

"Yes... it seems your soul had reshaped... though you are still suited to be a part of Scarabia... Your heart... Is perfect for the Ramshackle Dorm"

"Isn't that"

"Your mother's old dorm... well it seems like you're becoming just like your mother" Crowley smiled as he placed a hand on the boys shoulder.

-end of flashback-

And since then he became the dorm head of the Ramshackle. His hat suited his outfit. he was happy.

And right now the 18 year old was going to make a decision that'll change his life.

Currently standing Infront of his father, Kalim Al-Asim. wearing a somewhat butler outfit somewhat similar to that of what his mother wore back in her younger days as a Hatter.

"Father... I don't wish to be an Al-Asim anymore."

"What? could you repeat that?"

"I don't want to be an Asim."

"But son! you're my eldest! you're my successor!"

"And I don't want to be your successor!"

"why!?"

"I want to continue mother's legacy!" Ali yelled as he gripped his wrist behind his back while looking down.

"what?"

"I want to be a Hatter! I want to carry on the Hatter name! I want to do this for mother! it the least you could let me do"

"the least I could let you do?"

"Yes! The most you could do was probably be there for her!"

"Ali"

"You left her all alone! making her cry every night! every night for you!"

"She didn't get her happily ever after! Cause you weren't there there for her! you weren't there for us!HECK She would've been contented with just you being there even if you didn't love her anymore!"

"YOU DIDN'T EVEN COME TO HER FUNERAL!" Ali snapped.

"I know you are aware that You're naive, gullible, oblivious and all that. but please... just see it... the least you could do" Ali looked up and looked Kalim straight in the eyes.

Kalim staring back into E/C colored orbs that was exactly the same as his wife that had recently passed away.

He looked down and took a deep breathe

"Alright"

"Huh?"

"I'll... let you go..."

"Really?"

"yes... as you said... it's the least I could do for not even attending the funeral."

"Thank you... father" Ali smiled as he walked away.

this was a new start for Ali... Becoming just like his mother. Writing a happily ever after for them.

We can't say the same for Kalim though.

He sat at his chair.

His 2rd wife entered the room and sat beside him.

"What did he want?" she asked.

"To leave the family"

"what?"

"He... wanted to become a Hatter to continue Y/N's legacy."

"I see... don't worry I'm here... and besides I'm sure we can make a new heir."

"I'm not in the mood"

"But, dear~"

right then and there Kalim snapped.

"I SAID IM NOT IN THE MOOD!" He yelled.

"BECAUSE OF YOUR DAMN FAMILY THREATENING TO HURT MY SON AND MY BELOVED WIFE I WAS FORCED TO NEGLECT HER!"

"IF IT WASN'T FOR YOUR DAMN FAMILY I WOULD PROBABLY BE HOLDING HER RIGHT NOW WITH ANOTHER CHILD!"

"ALL BECAUSE YOU WANTED ME TO LOVE YOU! YOU'RE DELUSIONAL IF YOU THINK I WOULD!"

"What is it... WHAT IS IT DOES SHE HAVE THAT I DON'T!?"

"My heart... that's what it is... SHE WAS MY EVERYTHING! HER SMILE THAT WAS PRACTICALLY MY SUN! HER EYES THAT SHIMMERED LIKE THE STARS!"

"SHE DESERVES TO BE DEAD! SHE'S NOT FIT TO BE YOUR WIFE! SHE'S NOT FIT TO HAVE YOU! ME, ME, ME! IT WAS ME WHO SHOULD HAVE YOU! SHE'S HIDEOUS! SHE'S DUMB! SHE'S NAIVE! SO WHY WON'T YOU LOOK AT ME!"

"DON'T YOU DARE THAT ABOUT HER! FIRST OF ALL SHE'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN TO HAVE EVER EXISTED THAT EVEN VIL SAID SO! YOU WOULD NEVER BE AS BEAUTIFUL AS HER! SECOND SHE GRADUATED FROM NRC WITH TOP GRADES FITTING INTO THE TOP 50! SHE KNOWS MORE THAN YOU EVER WILL! AND THIRD OF ALL SHE'S NOT AS NAIVE AS YOU THINK! SHE EXPERIENCED THE CRUELTY OF THE WORLD TO THE POINT SHE WAS ALMOST BROKEN! BUT SHE JUST SMILED AND SAID THAT EVERYTHING WOULD BE JUST FINE! I BET YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO HANDLE IT IF IT HAD HAPPENED TO YOU! FACE IT I'LL NEVER LOOK AT YOU THE SAME I DO WITH HER!"

"THAT'S WHY I KILLED HER SO YOU WOULD ONLY LOOK AT ME- MPH!" she clasped her mouth shut trembling from what came out.

"what? WHAT did you just say?"

"n-nothing!"

"WE HAD A DEAL! YOU WOULD LEAVE THEM ALONE IN EXCHANGE FOR ALL OF THIS!"

"I-I didn't mean to!"

"DIDN'T MEAN TO MY *SS! AS IF I'D BELIEVE THAT! JAMIL!"

Soon Jamil entered the room. in truth he was about to enter till he heard screaming and heard the entire thing.

"Yes, Kalim"

"Take her away. make her confess EVERYTHING that she had done. After that could you call Azul? I want to have a talk with him to deal with something."

"Yes, of course" Jamil left with the 2nd wife being taken away by guards.

"WAIT! KALIM PLEASE! I LOVE YOU! DON'T DO THIS TO ME!"

As they all left the room Kalim sat down and tears started running down his face.

"Why was I so stupid? thinking I could protect you without having to hurt anyone but as a result I ended up hurting you... then lost you. I should've dealt with them from the start. I should've just been there for you... now I not only lost you... but I lost our son too... haha! why am I so stupid?"

For the rest of the night Kalim just cried. knowing can never bring you back.

-END-

"isn't that an interesting timeline."

"Didn't know that there would be a bad ending to their story. I hope this timeline won't stick it would be so sad~" a voice said as she closed a book that's titled 'You Weren't there'

soon the book started to become grains of sand.

"oh? what is this?"

"The timeline is disintegrating"

"I guess that means that story won't be sticking around."She then pushed up her glasses as she looked back at the millions of books being written each having a pen that glows with inspiration and life."I wonder who's story would be finished next~ would the story disappear? or will it be part of the official collection?"

"Let's see what endings are in-store~ After all"

"I am the story keeper~"

#twisted wonderland #twst wonderland #twst kalim #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #kalim x reader #scarabia

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afandommultiverse · 3 years

Text

Enemies - Zora Ideale

word count - 2.5k

request - Z3ll0us

warnings - uhh none really, language probably, just some fluff

a/n - ya'll, my bad, I'm not dead just not creative, I somehow came up with this in the matter of like 5 months, and it's still shit I'm sorry guys, but I hope you all enjoy! Btw I'm going to be trying my best to come back!💕

~~~

It seemed no matter where he went, no matter what job it was if they were there, there was no chance for him. How many bounties had he lost? How many relics had they stolen right from under him for contracts? Zora was sick of it and made it a rule to himself that he would drop everything and turn the other way when he saw them, but what was even the point? Because no matter where he went, they were always there.

Even now, a member of the Black Bulls, he was having a hard time holding back from releasing magic spells. He wanted them gone, at least that is what he thought. Why else would he get this burning feeling looking at them to speak to Magna like they have been friends for years? But, of course, Zora could never tell them. However, he wanted them to talk to him like that, not like he was just some scum on the bottom of their shoes, but it is not like all he has done has exactly helped his relationship with them, which brought him to his current predicament.

"With who?" Zora could not believe his luck. Of course, he was going to be with them. What else would the fates do but trick and play with him? His suffering must be amusing. Yami puffed on his cigarette as he handed Zora a pack of mission information.

"You are with Y/n. Now go find them and get on; I forgot about that one under some stacks of papers, due dates in 3 days." Yami kicked Zora out of his office and left him there to stare at the door as he thought about how fucked the next four days would be for him.

~~~

It was a cave expedition. Some wild animals had been going in there and coming out with big mana. It was beginning to make it dangerous for the surrounding villages who hunted wild game to put dinner on the table. But, thank the gods, Yami had cleaned off his desk; if not, who knows what kind of trouble the guild would have been in the next few days.

Walking to their room, Zora had heavy feet, which seemed only to get more weighted and weighted as he got closer to their door. Then he heard their laugh vibrating through the walls and ringing out to the hall where he could listen, halting his step and his heartbeat. Zora swallowed a knot before bringing his hand up to the door and knocking heavily. He heard their steps before the door opened, and they stared at him, sitting into their hip and glaring.

"What?" They seethed, narrowing their eyes as if looking for a trick. He sighed and handed them the folder, not even bothering to mess with them right now; they will prove him wrong later anyways.

"Be ready in thirty minutes." And then he walked away.

Y/n P.O.V

I watched Zora skulk away, a different air around him, almost defeated. I frowned before closing the door and turning back to the guest.

"Who was that?" A friend of mine from hell, a tiny demoness who specialized in brews and potions. Aliza was her name, and she was a stout little thing with filled-out curves and gorgeous maroon skin that glowed. Her nails were sharp and black, seeming to glitter in the light as she lifted her cup, which was much more prominent in her little red hands. Red swirly horns curled around her ears before pointing up in effortless black points that seemed to drip back down her horns like minor oil spills. Most enticing were her pink eyes, slit-like a cat and equally as sharp.

"Zora, a team member." I settled back down in my seat in front of her and sipped my tea. Her tail swished around her curiously as she stared at me pointedly. Since she was so short, she had to stand on the table to see eye to eye; she looked adorable under the flowers in the vase sitting at the center of the table.

"Just a team member?" Her pink eyes seemed to glint in knowing, knowing what? I did not know. I eyed her suspiciously as I finished up my meal.

"Yeah. Just a team member who, by the way, gets on my nerves sometimes and is a huge asshole." I took the final sip from my tea and gathered the dishes before throwing them through a portal to hell. Aliza looked unimpressed as she watched me close the said portal. "What?"

"You cannot keep expecting Helltower to keep doing your dishes." I grinned, dusting off my hands and moving to change.

"Of course I can! He loves me! Plus, I always repay him with little trinkets from the middle world." I mused, throwing on my guild cape and walking out of the room, Aliza following me. Her heels clicked on the stone hall as she followed me, surprisingly keeping up for being so small.

"Where are you going?" She continued to drink her tea, which she had reheated with a small flame in her hand.

"Some mission, talk shit later, okay?" She laughed before slipping through a small red vortex in front of her effortlessly, and I continued to meet Zora.

It has been silent ever since we started walking, stale moods rising from both of us. Yami had mentioned that the mission would be within walking distance. What he had failed to mention was that he thought thirty-five miles was within walking distance, which brought us here, stumbling on the only trail that would lead us to the village in need. Wind around us blew softly, whistling through the trees and making the leaves above our heads shutter and shake. Orange and yellow leaves were falling overhead to frame our little journey. Now and then, deer or a rabbit would hop across a few feet ahead of us, some even stopping to stare at us with their beady eyes before walking off.

As silent as it was between us, the forest made up plenty of sounds, birds chirping tiny tunes to each other from the high treetops. We had even heard the roars of hogs fighting by a pond over a mate. We stopped to watch them for a second but continued a little after. Eventually, Zora let out an irritated sigh and walked over to a tall, thick tree, probably hundreds of old- and kicked it so hard, the roots ripped out from the ground, well, mostly. Before any dirt or rocks could hit us, Zora quickly set up a magic circle and reflected it all. I watched in astonishment and confusion. What the hell was he doing? Then, as dozens of birds flew away from the scene, scared of such commotion, he spoke.

"Cut this for me, dear?" I scoffed at the nickname, trying to ignore the sweet pound of my heart that followed after his raspy voice wrapped around that word in an unreasonable amount of attractiveness. Then I thought of a particular pair of pink cat eyes glinting at me. So I shuffled forward, opting instead of asking questions to pull an ax out of a small portal. "I always forget your weapons are double the size of Cap'n Yami." He muttered off to the side, watching as I walked up to the top of the tree and measured up the ax to swing. As I swung down on the trunk, cutting it just as it began to branch out, I heard a low whistle, and secondly, his footsteps walking along the tree trunk back to me.

"Clean shot, doll." He grinned down at me, then looked back at the severed trunks. "We'll take the long one for the rest of the ride, whaddya say?" He asked, reaching down to pull me up. What the hell is going on? As I gripped his hand, I was almost in a trance, confused and running through millions of thoughts. Setting my body on auto-pilot as I tried to figure out why the hell he was so lovely. Which, in the end, was a bad idea, or maybe a good one.

My foot slipped, and just when I thought I was going to eat shit, a specific pair of hands gripped me, pulling me up fast. We fell back, landing against the wood hard; well, Zora did at least.

"Fuck." He groaned, rubbing his head before looking up at me, his mischievous eyes and smile gone, there laid concern. "Are you okay?" He moved me off of him gently, surprisingly not making any inappropriate comments on our position.

"You saved me," I spoke, still flabbergasted with what happened and the events leading up to it.

"Yeah, it didn't look like it was gonna be a soft fall, sweetheart." He stood up, convinced that I was all right, and gave me a hand again, this time watching me intensely as if I would misstep again. After I was up, he walked away, going to the head of the tree to fill it with mana. Slowly, the trunk began to rise, higher and higher, until we were above the surrounding trees. Green leaves blocking the view of the forest floor we once stood on, and a soft sunset began in front of us. The trunk began to move forward, slowly speeding up before staying steady. The wind whipped my hair around, along with a few of my things, making me hold on to them tightly after tying up what I could of my hair. I walked up to Zora again, coming to sit beside him. The trunk was thick enough for us to sit side by side, but it was a tight fit nonetheless. So as I settled beside him, he moved slightly for me, but our legs stayed glued to each other.

"If you could just do this the entire time, why didn't you just leave me back there?" I laughed it off, so used to him being a pain in the ass, and it is not like it would not be the first time he screwed me over in some way. Our relationship was not one of the niceties or cordial words. So often, you would find us fighting or screaming to see the other because of something they did, which eventually leads to a fight. Zora did not look at me for a bit, but when he did, I wished he had never turned his head. His eyes were sullen, sad, and overthinking, foggy with millions of thoughts that looked to be running through his head. The evident frown that towed down his face bothered me, so used to the shit-eating grin he pranked me or others, or when after putting someone in their place.

"I guess I can be really mean sometimes, huh?" I did not know his voice could be so soft. Honestly, I was surprised I heard him at all, but I did and could not stop thinking about it. I did not feel it necessary to talk after that, instead finally shutting my trap and moving on to watch the sunset. Colors blurred and blended across the sky, framing the mountains and trees rising to kiss the sky. It was quite the sight with bright pinks, oranges, and even some purple painted across the blue sky. When we reached the village, the sun was long gone, replaced by the moon, just as bright and beautiful with specks of stars across the sky. At some point, I remember getting bored and searching for the different zodiacs and patterns defined by the stars. As soon as I had found my sign, the tree trunk began to descend.

The trees we once flew over surrounded us and shut us off from the sky once again as we settled on the forest floor. The tiny little path we had been following earlier continued beside us, looking as it had when we left it hours ago. Up ahead, I could see the village glowing lively. Its name is written proudly on a wooden sign almost overcome at the bottom in ivy. However, before we got there, I opened my big mouth again.

"I don't blame you for being so mean; I mean, I would be mean too if my guild partner beat me at everything." That is not how it was supposed to come out, I mean, I was genuinely trying to be nice, but I did not filter the words that left my mouth before. Zora's head turned to me, eyes gaunt and eerie, his brilliant smile no longer on display.

"You wanna run that by me again, Doll?" The venom that surrounded the once cheery nickname made my stomach drop. I felt backed against a corner with miles surrounding me to run off. Quickly I tried to explain what I meant.

"Wait, Zora, that's not what I meant- not how I-"

"No, I think I got it doll, you just think you're that much better than me, huh? So what, you got to some quests before me, stolen relics under my nose, and joined my guild, passing me up in less than four months. I don't care, Honey, 'cause ain't nobody better than me- 'cause ain't no one like me! I don't care how much mana you have, how many spells you cast, how skilled you are, or how fucking perfect you are! None of that is gonna change no matter how gorgeous you are!" Zora's eyes widen, and he clenched his mouth shut, turning away with a growl and turning to walk off toward the village ahead of us.

"You think I'm perfect?" I called out, watching him stop and turn back to look at me. Zora's face was blank as he spoke.

"Are you telling me that out of ALL that, that is the only thing that stuck?" He scoffed, and his eyes narrowed slightly, sharp jaws sent in a deep frown. I walked up to him and stopped a step ahead of him. I held out my hand slowly, making sure I held eye contact with him.

"Truce?" Zora looked at my hand, astonished, which slowly melted away and revealed mixed relief and annoyance. Then, finally, he moved to grip my hand and shake it firmly.

"Truce. Whoa-" I yanked Zora forward, pulling him close, catching his surprised blue eyes before closing my own and going in for a kiss. Fortunately, Zora fell into it almost too easily, slipping his arms around me tight and returning the kiss with a bottled fever. However, after a few seconds, he pushed back, letting me go.

"W-What was that for?" I stared at him, lips still buzzing slightly from the contact.

"I don't know; it felt like the right thing to do. I think you're perfect, handsome too."

#black clover #black clover zora #zora ideale #zora ideale x reader #black clover oneshots #request #x reader #im back bitches #fluff

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veliseraptor · 3 years

Note

Hi, lise...If you don't mind, can I ask, what are your favorite yunmeng shuangjie scenes/moments? And why? Sorry if you've answered this question before....

hoo boy okay I hope you’re ready for long because I’m constitutionally incapable of answering these kinds of questions without going hard. which is why it takes me so long and that’s why I have a backlog of 5 million inbox messages but what e v e r

I limited myself to five here because if I didn’t I’d just start listing every scene they interact in, and nobody wants that. or, well, I don’t want that, I’d lose a lot of time that way.

putting this under a cut because...yeah. long.

1. the original Yunmeng Shuangjie conversation in episode 14.

like! augh. I’m not sure that this was the place where I was officially painfully ridiculously sold on their relationship as my favorite part of the show so far but it was a major contributing factor. There’s just so much going on here! In the way that it speaks to their history together, and in their family, and the roles they play.

I love, too, that Wei Wuxian specifically goes “twin jades? pfff. we’ve got our own thing going on that’s just as cool” because it’s doing double duty of making them a special thing in their own right and also, maybe even more importantly, reaffirming their bond as primary where Jiang Cheng at this point has been...well, a little uneasy about the space Lan Wangji has started to occupy in Wei Wuxian’s life. To say the least.

But maybe even most of all why this is such a gut punch for me personally: the promise Wei Wuxian is making to Jiang Cheng is one that you, the viewer, know isn’t going to work out. Thanks to the opening of episode one, and their interaction in episode two, it’s abundantly clear that something is going to go horribly wrong, and this close relationship is going to break, catastrophically.

And me being me I love the piquant taste of dramatic irony in the morning.

2. the argument in episode 27-28.

This is one of those moments where I never fail to get extremely emotional about it every time I watch this scene because it is so very ouch. The way that Jiang Cheng approaches Wei Wuxian with this guarded wariness, this prickliness and doubt, and how that breaks by the end into his desperate plea: “if you continue to protect them, then I can’t protect you!”

(different subtitles, so sue me.)

and I cry.

I’ve written before about how there’s...so much going on here. To break it down a little bit how about a bulleted list:

Jiang Cheng has been personal witness to - and personal target off - the current political winds, in a way that Wei Wuxian is not. He’s seeing and hearing how the cultivation world is talking about Wei Wuxian. He can see the way the wind is blowing very, very clearly, and what he sees is that Wei Wuxian is doomed if he stays the course - something Wei Wuxian either doesn’t or doesn’t want to see.

Jiang Cheng desperately wants Wei Wuxian to come home. Wei Wuxian can’t without abandoning the people relying on him, which would be both an ethical and emotional violation for him. His conflicting loyalties are coming to a head here but he still wants to have it both ways.

What Wei Wuxian sees as a mercy or releasing of obligation, a way of keeping Yunmeng Jiang and specifically Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli safe, Jiang Cheng sees as an abandonment/rejection - an affirmation that he, once again, just doesn’t matter enough.

It’s just...I cannot get over how clear-eyed Jiang Cheng’s assessment is. Whether or not you agree with his choices, he’s right, on a factual level. And I think Wei Wuxian knows that. But he’s on this road and he’s going to see it through, and he refuses to accept that he might not be able to.

and I just. I cry.

3. the conversation post resurrection.

Jiang Cheng cornering Wei Wuxian with the very animal he swore to always protect him from! party foul, yes, but also oh boy psychologically crunchy in every way. This confrontation, their first after Wei Wuxian’s resurrection where they both know and know they know the truth of who Wei Wuxian is, is so full of pain and hurt and anger.

it’s just! so much. Jiang Cheng’s see-sawing back and forth between “why didn’t you come back home!!!” (the question he’s always had) and “why aren’t you still dead!!!” Wei Wuxian murmuring about wanting to go back to Lotus Pier, calling for Jiang Yanli (Jiang Yanli, the biggest wound between them, her absence so very palpable in that moment).

There’s so much both of them want here, and so much that’s not being said, and can’t be said. The overwhelming pressure of their history - Jiang Cheng’s sixteen years of grief and anger raw all over again, and Wei Wuxian's exhaustion and misery.

it’s excruciatingly painful and I love it.

4. the conversation in Guanyin Temple.

so I spent, like, most of the latter half of the show waiting for a moment between Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng where things would break and I’d get the emotional sibling catharsis feelings that I needed and boy did this deliver. like! other people have written far more coherent meta about this scene than I probably ever could because when I think about it I’m just sort of reduced to dragging my hands down my face and making distressed noises punctuated with wild gestures and cries of “THEM!!!”

the crying! the ugly crying, the ugly emotions, the big secret between them that set off the beginning of the rift in their relationship laid bare. it’s this moment of naked emotional vulnerability for both of them, and while it doesn’t resolve things, while it leaves them both in a place, I think, where they’re prone to go ‘well, he’s done with me now’ - it also opens a door where that doesn’t have to be the case. Wei Wuxian’s tenderness. The gesture he makes here, too, touching Jiang Cheng’s face, echoes the gesture Jiang Yanli makes touching Wei Wuxian’s just before she dies.

(echoes what jiang fengmian does before he goes off to die. how’s that for pain?)

it’s just. wild gestures. them. oh, boys. so much hurt, so much pain, and at the root of it so much goddamn love.

I’m going to go on and slide in here additionally the moment where Jiang Cheng tosses Wei Wuxian Chenqing because boy does that say a lot in a relatively simple gesture.

5. meeting in Yiling with Jiang Yanli.

This scene is...I described it from Jiang Cheng’s POV remembering in a fic as "like looking at children in the path of a rockslide, unaware of what was bearing down on them, such a short time away. Oblivious.” and that’s how I feel watching it. It’s so cute, and sweet, and Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian love Jiang Yanli so much, and Jiang Cheng has suggested Jiang Yanli ask Wei Wuxian to give his unborn nephew his courtesy name and then gets embarrassed when she outs him about it, he and Wei Wuxian tease each other.

I love it. There’s just this sweetness and happiness that they’re having, in this moment, in this tiny courtyard, because this little separate hidden place is the only place, now, where they can be together, where they can be family as they once were.

And it’s not going to last. And the viewer, once again, can feel the gathering storm bearing down on them, and know it’s only going to end in tragedy.

This is the last time they see each other before it all goes wrong.

BONUS:

#thanad zid #conversating #but also like. so many others alkjsdlkfjsdf #long post for ts #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #yunmeng shuangjie #like...seriously though. the golden core reveal? the confrontation in the shrine?#their fight after lotus pier falls where jiang cheng makes a go of strangling him?#jiang cheng giving himself up?#EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING #the sad queer cultivators show #lise does meta #...i guess

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somanyerikas · 3 years

Text

Nostalgia sells - or does it? About BBC’s rehiring of a previous showrunner for Doctor Who as a marketing strategy

All, right, this is the one where I deal with my issues about RTD’s rehiring from the standpoint of BBC’s business strategy . Brace for passive agression, swearwords, brief history of british television and numbers. So, so many numbers.

Allright, so I already wrote a post about my problem with RTD’s (re)hire from the creative standpoint (it’s here in case you’re interested), but hey, I can bitch about it all I want, but we all know what caused the BBC to make this decision, right? You’ve heard about it for sure. The Dropping Ratings. You’ve read about it on so many posts, lots of them probably oh-so-gladly conflating this fact with their own opinion about the deteriorating quality of the show. (Don’t worry, we’ll get to that.) So Obviously the execs at the Big BBC Quarters needed to do something about it, and what better way to go than rehire a guy who’s run at Doctor Who is a warm childhood memory for so many in it’s fanbase? After all, it’s what we’re seeing nowadays: from Star Wars return to wave of 80′s nostalgia to every old blockbuster star doing a comeback, there is but a single conclusion - nostalgia sells.

Or does it?

Part One: Moving with the change; or very much refusing to.

Let’s start this off with some facts about the ratings for Doctor Who. (Well, I warned you there’s gonna be numbers, didn’t I. Stick with me, I’m going somewhere with this I promise.) In it’s beginnings, in the sixties and seventies , the series flown high, averaging a viewership from 8 up to 10 million viewers per season. Collin Baker’s series 17 brought in a record of 11.21 milion viewer asses in front of a good ol’ TV screen, real champagne opener here. But, as it happens, things were downhill from here. During the eighties, the rating started dropping steadily, reaching an all-time low of 4.15 milion couch-warming bottoms in 1989, the last season of the classic era.

Years passed, 16 of those years to be exact, and here comes our saviour RTD. Under his wings, the revived series premiered, bringing in over 10 milion viewers to the premiere episode of season 1, Rose. A viewership this high did not last for long, but still, RTD’s seasons averaged between 7 and 8 milion viewers per season, which seemed pretty respectable. But then, as the story likes to repeat itself, not unlike the bbc execs just did, along came the decline again. Ever since 2010, the ratings began steadily dropping again, from 7.95 in 2010 to 5.46 in 2017. Then DW experienced an unexpected peak in 2018 with the premiere of Jodie Whittaker’s first season, which averaged 7.96 viewing asses, but then continued the dropping trend on the next season, averaging 5.40 viewing butts.

So what went wrong?

You see, part of the reason that Doctor Who was bringing in such great viewership numbers in the 60′s and 70′s, was that, to put it simply, BBC did not have much competition. Or, to be exact, only had one competitor. ITV was literally founded in order to break BBC’s monopoly over British television. But in the 80′s, with the launch of Channel 4 and Sky, the british viewers had more and more options to choose from. So logically speaking, they no longer had to watch BBC’s programming just because there was nothing else on. There was more and more new programes to boredom-watch. And here’s something y’all need to know about the tv industry: the boredom-watchers, the casuals? That’s the most important demographic. As hard as it might be to swallow, us hardcore fans, forum dwellers and Ao3 gremlins, we’re not as big of a group as we’d like to think. Loving fans are important to the tv execs as providers of word-of-mouth advertisment, but the real numbers come from the casual, everyday viewer who will just put on the next episode cause the other one was kinda fun I guess. Or more fun than the other options, anyway.

And this is why, by the way, when someone is conflating low viewership with the show Dissapointing The Fans, they’re full of shit. I’m sorry, but we’re really not that much of a force here, definitely not enough to make such a big impact on the numbers. Another factor, that some of you probably noticed already, is that the numbers I’m quoting are from british tv only, while the online fandom is very much international, so our opinions matter even less to the british execs, I’m sorry again, hard pill to swallow I know, but true nonetheless.

But I digress. So, to sum up the previous paragraph, Doctor Who’s viewership decline in the 80′s was the effect of the changing landscape of the TV industry, with which the BBC struggled to come to terms with.

Sound familiar?

Let’s move on to the 2010′s, shall we?

2010 was is actually a good marker of a year to choose, because it marks one important thing that begun a big change in the industry. This was the year in which Netflix expanded their services overseas, from being a DVD rental company to providing VOD services. Over the next decade streaming services grew in importance, from being an add-on to your cable TV that you didn’t really want but they were throwing it in for cheap, to very much self-sustainable media services you might very well buy instead of buying the cable. And if you look at the numbers for Doctor Who viewership declining over the last 10 years, that’s precisely what’s been happening. It’s not that people don’t want to watch Doctor Who on tv, they don’t want to watch tv in general. Do you know what was the most popular channel in Britain this year? Can you guess? Fucking Netflix that’s what. It’s just slowly-yet-steadily ceasing to be the way we use home entertainment anymore. Again, not much to do with the audience approval, because for that matter, let’s see about the specific episodes that saw the spikes in viewership.

Rose, which i mentioned at the start of it, was for the longest time the unquestionable queen when it comes to viewership, at 10.81 milion. The next episode, The End of the World, pulled in 7.97 - almost 3 millions worth of lost viewer-butts in one week? Is it because it was so much worse than it’s predecessor? No, it simply did not have the smell of Newness, the Event You Must See, and as such brought forth less of the casual viewers who were simply curious about The New Thing. The next season followed the similar formula, peaking at the premiere, when the marketing was at it’s strongest, going down during the season, sometimes rising slightly for the finale, sometimes not. The most popular episodes are, of course, the specials - yet again, the vibe of The Event To Be Seen worked here, but one more thing working to their advantage is they often aired in spaces between seasons, serving as both a long-waited Crumbs of Content for the fans, and the basically stand-alones for the casuals. Do you know what the single most watched episode of revived DW is? No, it’s not Tennant’s goodbye with the role (yeah I know, I thought it had to be that as well). It was Voyage of the Damned, between seasons 3 and 4. The perfect standalone for the casual watcher. And last but not least, you know one more special feature that brought, maybe not as much, but definitely more than expected? The 1996 movie Doctor Who, with 9.08 million. Again, a perfect standalone.

But the standalones aren’t the only way to grab the viewership. The currently-highest viewing non-special episode of DW? The Woman Who Fell to Earth, Jodie Whittaker’s introduction. In 2018 no less, in the year when the streaming was the ruler supreme, this episode brought a whooping 10.96 million buts to the good ol’ TV again. Let me reiterate: this episode brought in more viewers than Rose did in 2005, while having WAY more competition and way less favorable circumstances of release that RTD’s debiut did. Not only that, it managed to bring on some numbers for the entire season as well, not as good of course as the premiere (because again, the Event vibes faded), but still brought a better average than the last six seasons did. (Again, let me reiterate: more than the last SIX seasons. More viewership than any series since 2010, since the Streaming Wars.) So clearly, this must be the way, right? Catering to this Weird New Trend, that saw directors notice there do in fact exist other actors than white men, that surely brought in some profit, even Marvel does it now, right? Out with the old, in with the new!

Part 2 The Deceitful Charm of Nostalgia

Well, it turns out the whole Doing New Things deal didn’t work out that well after all, now did it? The second season penned by Chibbnal averaged 5.40 milion, that’s 2.5 million drop from the previous one! It must mean it didn’t work, right? Well, yes and no. As much as the refreshment of the formula as simple as Let’s Put A Woman In It absolutely worked for one season, it very visibly did not hold up for longer. An Event-Episode is something that can still happen on TV, Event-Series? That’s pretty much reserved for streaming now, if you think about it, and it’s honestly kind of a miracle that Series 11 did as well as it had. Two consecutive Event-Series on network tv? Flat out impossible.

So how to make those ratings great again? How to get those butts in seats of the Good Ol’? Well, the execs of the BBC have a plan for that. They brought in a devouring beast, and it’s name is: Nostalgia.

Without a doubt, there is a number of people who feel nostalgic about RTD’s era of Doctor Who. It’s a lot of people’s fond childhood memory, or the series they started with, and judging by the numbers, there should be quite a lot of them. So the new plan, as it appears, is to get to those who maybe lost interest in the show and lure them with the promise of the thing That Is Totally Like The Thing You Used To Love, Remember? (This is why I don’t actually think that RTD will be allowed to do anything new and interesting, that’s not what they hired him for. And that’s why I think this is bad from the creative standpoint.) So there are two questions here: One, will the people be lured? And two, for how long?

Nostalgia as a marketing strategy is something that you’re probably sick of seeing already (I know I am). But it has very much been effective on many levels, especially the eighties-baiting, Stranger Things style, can bring a new IP up to relevance. But what about old IP’s that want to have a comeback?

It’s kind of dificult to find another TV show that I could compare to Doctor Who. Most series that have been running for that long are mostly soap operas, that operate on slightly different rules, and are also targeted to a different audience. So as much as the movie series is still not exactly the best comparison, when I think about a big IP, campy sci-fi, family-oriented (at least in theory) on its path back to relevance, I think about Star Wars, obviously. The Force Awakens gambled on that nostalgic feeling and won big, but the next two movies, while still financially successful, were nowhere near the astounding success of the first one. And that’s because - you guessed it - it created the Event You Must See again, The Great Comeback, but merely two years later, the comeback became old news. So what we can gain from that is that nostalgia can create an Event as well as a new trend, if not better. But the question remains: how long will that last?

That is, after all, the main difference between a movie franchise and a TV series in the traditional, network TV sense of the word: movie franchise must bring in the viewership every year or two, and TV series must bring in viewers every week for at least two months. Is RTD’s Nostalgia Vibes enough to provide for that?

I’ll say this: I’m absolutely certain that the 60th anniversary will be very popular. I still don’t think it will break any records because, as I’ve been trying to explain for this whole post, it is not 2007 anymore no matter how much the tv execs would like it to be. But ironically, the almost-certain success of the special is the very thing that could undermine the effect of bringing their precious Nostagia Boi back onboard. Remember, the first Event Episode is The Big Oof. That’s the one that gets asses to the Good Ol’, if anything ever does. After the first big event one, that’s the point when things start going down. They’re wasting their Special Event Boi for something that already would be an event, dear fucking gods, I hate your plan and I would still execute it better. Either have RTD be the Anniversary Guy and then hire someone new, use that hype and keep it going, OR have RTD come in after the anniversary, then at least you get the Event Effect for the premiere of his first return season. Fukin’ amateurs.

But even if they did that, here’s the thing: do you think that the people who departed from the show years ago actually want to watch another three to five seasons of The RTD Show? I mean, I’m sure the thought warmed some hearts, for sure. A number of people will definitely gladly watch the anniversary, probably the first few episodes of the first return to the basics, but after that? In the world when, due to streaming, they have an easy way to revisit the actual thing they’re nostalgic towards? I honestly don’t think so. And you’re not really gonna get many new people by going back, if that nostalgia factor isn’t there. And then there’s casual viewers, the backbone, as we established. And here’s the thing: lots of those people don’t even know who the current showrunner is, cause they’re not Terminally Online like we are, and the second thing? Lots of those people ARE JUST NOT WATCHING NETWORK TV, IM SORRY GARRY. They’re just. They’re just not. I don’t know how to spell it out better. Even my mum has netflix now. Your biggest base is in another castle mate, gotta get moving and gotta get moving quick, cause here’s another thing: all the nostalgia in the world will not do SHIT for you if your target, people who were kids/teens when the RTD era was airing, PROBABLY DON’T EVEN HAVE A FUCKING TV ANYMORE CAUSE THEY MOVED OUT OF THEIR PARENTS FLAT AND LOTS OF YOUNG PEOPLE JUST DON’T BOTHER. Just. I’m sorry but you’re trying to resuscitate a decade-deceased corpse there buddy. It just won’t work. The times have changed and you gotta swim or drown, and it’s just not gonna be 2005 again, no matter how hard you pretend it is. It’s not your content it’s your business model. Just push more marketing for your iplayer or whatever, focus on streaming as your primary not your secondary cause that’s just what it is now, and maybe don’t rely on the viewer-counting systems of the yesteryear to evaluate your business. Or else you’re gonna get stuck sacrificing the creative growth of your show for a marketing strategy that probably won’t even fucking WORK.

There, I got it of my chest. Feel free to reblog, and also: you somehow got to the end of this, congrats! I’ll make numbers nerds out of y’all yet.

#it's like. my sister and I were #watching a movie lately. the one with multiple will smiths and the de-aging tech #(don't recommend it it's real boring)#but when Youngened Will Smith appeared on the screen my sister got my spiting my tea laughing by innocently saying:#"oh i don't know this actor. it's nice that they're giving opportunities to the young actors. great to see a new face in the biz''#and u know what #this rehire is the same fucking vibe to me #some cunts from marketing plastering make-up to an old man's face and pretending its 2005 still #anyway #doctor who #i guess.

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sosadz · 3 years

Text

Last Mimosa

Adult!Reborn x F!reader

warning(s) - blood, death, angst, hanahaki au

this is my first post on this app and I still couldn’t figure out how tumblr works lol I hope you guys enjoy

1,637 words

You still remember the feeling when you first realized you love this man. It has been the same since day one. The way he acted like he didn't care, but secretly looked out for you in his own way. The way he sat in the chair of his apartment, admiring the view, slowly sipping his espresso. The way he walked with that charming look of his, the look that make legs go weak. His black eyes that look so cold yet so ravishing. You love all of that. All of him.

You had never accepted the fact that you love this man until a strange flower petal immersed out of your mouth. A mimosa flower.

The deepest secret from the bottom of your heart had revealed itself. One that you had never wanted to acknowledge yourself.

'A Mimosa... What a coincidence.' You sarcastically joke. The Mimosa's meaning is the conjuration of secret love. No one knows that I love you, not even myself until now.

'Is this a blessing or a curse - the Hanahaki disease?'

You and Reborn have enjoyed each other's company and you both like each other, but only in a platonic way. However, this platonic relationship is only one-sided, as you love him romantically. You had made a promise to yourself to never tell him about your feelings, since you didn't want to ruin this precious friendship.

Following your usual routine, you stopped by his office to greet him as always. Whenever you were with him the Hanahaki disease didn't act up much, so you just assumed everything was going to be okay.

You entered the building and walked into his office. There was nothing but a comfortable silence, accompanied by the sound of a coffee machine running and the smell of coffee. Of course it was espresso - just how he liked it. You opened the door to greet him.

"Reborn I-" you felt something coming from your throat. Reborn's gaze turned to you immediately after he heard your voice.

'Maybe I should stop assuming things'

Before he could answer or ask you anything, you quickly ran away from him while trying your best not to let any of the petals fall from your mouth. You felt something wet dripping down your cheeks. Your heart ached, but you had to run away as far as you could. He can't know about your secret, your disease.

When you had reached the rooftop of the building, you let all the petals you had kept inside your mouth flow out. Your heart ached, your mouth started to get dry, your throat was sore and all you could hear was nothing but a constant ringing. It was like your whole body reset itself. Your vision was blurry and you couldn't concentrate on anything but the pain you were feeling.

After thirty minutes, you began to feel better. You wiped away the remaining blood and petals from your mouth and off your clothes.

"Y/n" You heard someone speaking behind you. You knew damn well whose voice that belonged to.

"Oh, I'll be back in a minute don't worry." You tried your best to make your voice sound like you were okay, convincing him that there was nothing wrong. You quickly hid all the fallen petals in your shirt but it was too late. He was the world's best hitman, how could you lie to him without him knowing? You wish he would ignore the fact that you lied to him and just wait for you in his office.

And he did.

He nodded slowly and walked away from you, giving you the privacy you had wished for.

'Why do I feel like this?' You asked yourself. Weren't you supposed to be relieved that he did as you wished for? Why do your eyes feel so warm and watery? Why were you feeling so disappointed? It was like a million knives were stabbed into your heart, but instead it was the Mimosa flower.

Reborn actually knew. He knew everything. He knew you were suffering from the Hanahaki disease, and he knew you were throwing up on the rooftop. He knew that you lied to him. He tried his best to find out who was responsible for causing you to get this disease. He was the world's best hitman, but why can't he find the person you love and help you?

How could he ever find out,

When that person was him all along?

A few days after the incident you decided to visit Reborn again at his office. You stepped inside without knocking. It was just how it was. He always knew it was you who came inside, so he didn't even have to look.

"I just stopped by to say hi and maybe get some free coffee" You jokingly said to him followed by a chuckle. You were desperate to hide all of the sadness blooming inside your chest.

He didn't say anything but handed you a cup of coffee from his table that he had already prepared for you. You took it and gave him a playful smile.

'Maybe I'd stopped loving you if you stopped being so nice to me, Reborn.' You thought to yourself.

"I won't be here for a week, just to let you know." He said while looking at the sky next to him. You knew how much he admired those views. You walked next to him and looked the same way.

"Want me to take care of your office for you?" You asked sarcastically. You knew he never wanted you to take care of his office because he knows you are a mess, and would give him a headache when he came back from his mission.

"As if." He rolled his eyes and adjusted his hat.

"Alright, I'm going to go now. See ya!" You said, putting your now empty cup on his table and walked out from his office. After the door had closed, your whole body started shaking. You were afraid he was going to figure out what was going on with you.

You took time gathering yourself to stand properly again, and walked out from the building.

'I don't have much time left, and I don't think I will last until the time when he comes back. I should find a way to let him know I died happily.' You thought as you let out a deep sigh.

A week later,

Reborn came back just to find you laying in your bed, dressed in the most beautiful way possible. In fact, you were always beautiful. There were Mimosas all over your bed, covering your mouth all the way to your body. Your eyes were closed shut. He was too late. Reborn fell onto his knees, lifted one of your hands to his face and kissed it softly. He felt the warmth in his eyes, and his vision was getting more and more blurry.

Looking over to his right, he saw a letter on your drawer next to your bed. His name was written on it. Although his hands were still shaking uncontrollably, he made his way to your letter and opened it.

Dear Reborn,

Reborn, you know... I really appreciate our friendship. You have made me smile, laugh or even be mad. But in a good way, don't worry. I know you are the world's best hitman but please be careful and take care of yourself. Try drinking a lot of water, not just coffee.

Please know that I died while I was being happy. You have probably already figured out by now what the cause of my death was, and if you figure out who's the reason I got this disease, don't blame him. Be kind to him. All I ever want is for him to be happy because that makes me happy too.

You are a good friend of mine, Reborn.

You always will be. No one could ever replace you. But if someone ever replaces me, that's okay.

I won't be mad at you.

I hope you will remember me. And whenever you ever think of me, I hope it will be the time where I smile or laugh. I don't look nice when I'm crying or sleeping so... Don't.

I will always be with you -

in the skies you had always admired,

in the smell of your espresso.

If you aren't happy I will know.

So be happy. For me.

I love you, Reborn.

Y/n, L/n

He cried, for the first time. The world's best hitman cried, uncontrollably. The grief of losing someone precious to him was too much to handle.

He loved her,

And he couldn't stand seeing her get hurt.

If only he had realized it sooner, you wouldn't be here. Laying in your bed without your soul. You could be happy together with him by your side. He could have helped you, but he didn't. Instead, he spent his entire week going on a stupid mission. The purpose of the mission was actually to find a cure for the Hanahaki disease that you were suffering from. He wanted to save you, and he was so close to doing so. He was so blinded by the end goal that he didn't take into account your current situation. You slipped right through his fingers.

Reborn felt something sharp piercing his heart.

Something was about to come out from his throat.

He coughed.

A white petal came out of his mouth.

It was a Lily petal.

He picked it up and looked into it for a minute and thought: 'A Lily. I wonder if this disease chose a specific flower for me. Is this what you've been feeling this entire time, Y/n?'

He kissed your lips for the last time. But sadly, you never got the chance to kiss him back.

Not anymore.

#reborn #reborn x reader #fiction #fanfic #reader insert #xreader #katekyo hitman reborn #arcobaleno #arcobaleno x reader #hitman reborn #hitman reborn x reader #anime #anime x reader #KHR #KHR x reader #angst #writing

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softtamaki · 3 years

Text

it’s gonna be okay

summary: your best friend would always make you feel loved and comforted and tonight was nothing different.

pairing: izuku midoriya x reader

genre: angst / fluff

word count: 2k

warnings: mean mom ;; it’s not too specific about why

a/n: requested by @lavenderbutton05 and i hope you like it :)

so !!

currently there’s a lot of things that have been happening recently

some good :D

some bad >:(

but either way you’ve always had your best friend to cheer you up

that’s right izuku midoriya is your best friend!! but even that has a sour taste in your mouth since recently, you two have been very touchy

and technically katsuki bakugou is also your bff but like don’t tell anyone that because he gets REALLY angry

for legit no reason too

it’s not like you have friday 4pm solely dedicated towards going to your favorite shop and eating food

(you totally do but if ANYONE — even izuku — knew, goodbye free sweets hello angry bakugou)

back to the point

midoriya confessed to you a week ago but ran off before you could say it back, eventually you did tell him

the two of you are taking it really slowly and don’t have any labels (yet)

but midoriya has always managed to keep you on your toes

no like ,, literally

“come on, y/n. you got this!”

“izuku i swear to all might, are you trying to kill me?”

midoriya sighed and his hands went back to the side of his body

he was trying to get you outside

while trying not to get super flustered at using his first name (even though you’ve used it a million times)

he wants to know what’s bothering of late, you’re being secretive and generally dismissive and it’s making him worried

“just, trust me? i’ll catch you!”

currently, you were on the railing of the girls UA dorm building and midoriya was on the floor underneath

your regeneration quirk wouldn’t be that useful in this situation so you’re grateful that you’ve been training in different martial arts

aikido would be very helpful in this situation since it would be best at helping you get down gracefully

you jump down the railing and land on the flat ground with a loud slap due to the sandals you had on

it was too hot for shoes! slippers are much better for the fast approaching summer time

“so.. where are we going?”

“somewhere nice, a breath of fresh air. i-is that okay?”

you smiled and nodded your head, gesturing midoriya to continue forward

he led you for a few minutes in silence, it was a comfortable silence

you weren’t going far, or you know aizawa would get mad, but far enough to get away from the dorms and breathe

you talked about your internships and the way the league of villains had been acting up recently

the topic eventually led to your friends and when you were ranting about denki not paying attention during class, midoriya suddenly stopped

“yeah and he always asks me later about what we learned despite being there! it’s like he forgets everything.. oh are we here?”

“yeah, just a little over to the side. don’t get to annoyed at him though, i’m sure he means the best”

“yeah, yeah, i know”

you two stop at a bench and sit down

looking up you see the blurry sky, hazy from the light pollution of the city lights you see down below

it was pretty and it made you think about how small you really are

midoriya was a little upset that it wasn’t as starry of a night as he had predicted but that would be a later concern, right now you were the priority (you always were to him)

“y/n, is..is something wrong?”

“hm? what do you mean?”

“you’ve been awfully quiet during class. plus, at lunch when kacchan told denki to shut up, you didn’t even say anything..”

“should..i have said something?”

“i m-mean kacchan never means what he says but you usually do. plus you’re usually more up for this sort of thing and yet you were so hesitant..”

“can you blame me? did you hear about how many villains are—”

“okay! i get it.”

midoriya abruptly starts, upset that you’re still denying the fact that something is wrong

you had every right to not tell him but he feels this might be a ‘i-don’t-want-to-burden-others’ type of thing more than ‘it’s-none-of-your-business’ thing

but you’re not responding so maybe he was wrong? he looks up to your face and his heart cracks

you’re frowning and eyes are watering, like you just got bullied

“oh shoot, i didn’t mean-“

“i’ve just been so.. lost lately”

midoriya stops and looks softly at you

your hands are quivering at this point and so midoriya brushes his fingers against them

you can feel the gentleness of his touch and don’t retract your hand

instead, you crave it and slowly make a move to grab his fingers

he blushes and looks away, trying not to tear up at the sweet gesture

“other than villains and the internship, school has been hectic. i can’t seem to catch a break!”

“mhm, i feel you. it’s like everyone’s trying to make it our last year here.”

you laugh and nod

“plus! aizawa is letting us go on our first missions next month, like i know it’s just a practice mission but wow time has flown so fast..”

your smile slowly fades and you steel your jaw to not let your facade fall

“..and things at home aren’t that great either”

there it is

midoriya stops looking at the city lights and sees you rubbing your arm in hesitation

“take your time, don’t worry it’s okay.”

“my mom’s been really rude lately”

“you don’t have to say anything y/n”

“oh i know it’s just, i want to? if that’s okay.”

“of course, continue. i’m here for you”

“well you know me and i recently told m-my mother who i was and she didn’t have a great reaction..”

“oh y/n, i’m- i’m so sorry.”

“it hurts you know? like my mom is supposed to be the one person who supports me no matter what but now.. now she’s being so mean and i don’t know what to think anymore..”

midoriya looks down at your hand that’s now tightly clasped around his, and instead of getting nervous, he holds yours back with the same strength

when he looks back up, you’re crying and his heart shatters completely

he doesn’t like seeing you sad and knowing that someone hurt you like this makes him so angry

taking a deep breath, midoriya brings his other hand to your waist and pushes you into his chest

after a small yelp, you’re now hugging and sitting in midoriya’s lap

his sweater is probably going to be damp with the tear stain but with his hands quietly patting and rubbing your back, you don’t seem to care

“she thinks she’s known me but she really doesn’t. she thinks i’m lying about it.”

“lying? you would never lie about something like this.”

“right? is like you’re the only over who actually pays attention to me.”

you remove yourself from the crook of his neck and look up to your best friend/more than a friend/boyfriend

the person that’s been there since day 1 and has always been supporting everything you are and do

you’ve never felt scared or lonely knowing that he’s right there next to you

midoriya looks at you like you’re the only person in the world

like the stars in the sky are in your eyes and can tell him how wonderfully excited you get when fighting or practicing

but now your soft cheeks are damp and he doesn’t want his favorite person in the world to be crying

he slowly brushes your tears away, fighting back his own tears by seeing you in pain

the two of you just sit and bask in each other’s presence

“you’re safe with me.”

you try to push down the words that are lumped in your throat from his comfort, but you can’t

“izuku, i love you.”

“i love you too, y/n. everything going to be alright.”

he smiles wide and you can’t stop the grin from rising to your lips

he takes your cheeks into his hands and slowly pecks your forehead

he’s also blushing like crazy and you can vaguely feel his body shaking

you grin, and with a leap of faith you kiss his cheek and he almost combusts

“y/n! i-i’m supposed to be making you happy- not the other way around.”

“you do make me happy! this makes me happy izuku!”

you’ve completely lost him

he’s half contemplating if he should bury his head into your shoulder but the short sleeved shirt you’re wearing makes him surprised

his mood instantly changes and he’s setting you down next to him on the bench before you can even register it

you’re pouting and he’s got half the heart to kiss you again but (your) health comes first

so he takes off his blue hoodie and gently says “up”

now you’re flustered because “oh-my-god-he’s-giving-me-his-hoodie”

he pushes it down on you and you’re already liking the super soft material

he’s looking at your smile and he can’t help but tear up a little and goes to hug you tightly

at this point you’re never going to get tired or used to midoriya having his strong arms around you, it’s heaven

but you can feel him shaking and you’re worried now

“izuku? is something wrong?”

“no! no, it’s fine i-it’s just..your mom sucks..and you don’t deserve this, you know? you deserve everything in the world and i wish i could give it to you and not let anyone make you cry.”

“oh..you think i deserve the world?”

“no,”

you’re confused and he takes his head of your shoulder and looks down at you

“you deserve more than the world. and you definitely deserve people who build you up and love you, not hurt you like this.”

midoriya wonders if your smile from his words is the brightest thing he’ll ever see, and even when the sun comes up and he’s still holding you and talking, he’s proven right

“you’re really cheesy..”

he smiles with his eyes closed and his freckles are shining in the moonlight

“you make me really cheesy y/n.”

the two of you hug for longer, in the cold night but the comfort radiating off of him makes you warm

he lifts his head up,

“um, can i kiss you?”

the look you give him makes his heart do somersaults and he’s trying not to die just looking at you

you nod your head and with a vocalized yes and he dips in to capture your lips

it distracts you from the lulling pain in your heart and you’re happy for it

as much as you think you can talk about what’s bothering you for longer, you really just needed something else

you two separate and you fall into his chest and when you snuggle up beside him, he’s about to fall apart

the rest of the night, midoriya talks about anything and everything, trying to distract you and tell you that he loves you and everything will be okay

he never makes it seem that he’s upset or minds doing this and always makes you feel loved and comfy

patting your head and rubbing your back, you slowly fall asleep to his loving words and he keeps on holding you until the sun rises

instead of waking you up, he decides to carry you (he doesn’t even need his quirk because to him, you’re soft and as light as a feather)

he doesn’t know how he didn’t get in trouble when he opened the door to your dorm and set you in your bed

or when he was tucking you in and kissing your forehead goodnight

or when he kept sitting next to you, thinking about how much he wanted to cuddle you and take all your fears away

he ultimately said “screw it” and decided cuddles were more important

any teasing from your friends and an annoyed kacchan saying “finally deku!” tomorrow would all worth it when you shifted in your sleep and cuddled into izuku’s chest

the i love you’s you exchanged made everything okay and you were so happy to know that your best friend would always be at your side

it’s gonna be okay

#izuku midoriya #deku #izuku midoriya x reader #midoriya headcanons #midoriya x reader #bnha x reader #anime x reader #bnha x y/n #bnha x gender neutral reader #bnha headcanons #deku midoriya #midoriya x reader comfort headcanons #midoriya x reader comfort #my writing

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gb-patch · 3 years

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Ask Answers: January 28th, 2021 (Part 1)

And we’re back with many more ask answers! Thank you for waiting.

Is lizzie/the main character tripping over a rock a random event in barbecue? or does it require certain choices? i picked the same choices in multiple different playthroughs but ended up with three different outcomes (1. nothing happens 2. liz trips 3. i trip)

Yep! It’s completely random. Just a little moment of life you don’t have control over, haha.

wait just double checking you stated that derek would be another romantic interest you can pursue in step 4 right??? im just asking cuz hes my fav character

oh wait and btw i was the one that asked the question about derek being in the step 4 just now, and will you have to pay extra for like a dlc or something bc i play the free version rn and i just wanted to check!!

Yeah, you will eventually be able to romance him, but unfortunately it is a paid DLC. Cove is the only love interest who’s entirely free-to-play. You can follow our social media for when we giveaways for a chance to win a key for it, though.

i know that y’all said the step 3 dlc and step 4 will be released early 2021, is there any update to that? for example, a rough amount of days/weeks until release? no pressure at all, i’m super excited!! <3

The Step 3 DLC will be about in maybe two-two and half months or so. Step 4, we’re not entirely sure. Maybe a few months after the Step 3. We don’t want to give set dates until we’re really close to the release since otherwise we wouldn’t be able to 100% guarantee them.

First off love the game. Second I'm a little confused on how the nsfw dlc is gonna work. Because based on some stuff you've said it sounds like a patreon only thing and others make me think it could be an itch/steam thing after the fact? Would you mind clarifying for me 😅. Also if it's a patreon only thing do you need to become one before it's released?

It’s not going to be on Steam/Itch. The actual game of Our Life is safe for teens with no adult content. Any 18+ stuff we’re releasing is separate bonus content. Right now the only for sure plan is having it available through Patreon. If there’s another hosting site that’s not Steam or Itch that’d be easier for people than Patreon we might consider uploading it there too, but nothing else is set.

If you want the bonus Moment you’d have to join once it’s already out or sometime after the release. Joining now would get you our current rewards, but wouldn’t get you future content that’s coming later.

this is probably an awkward question and i apologize, feel free not to answer, but i just wanted to address the elephant in the room....will step 4 acknowledge covid/2020 world events?? i kind of hope not bc i'd like to just exist in a fictional version of the world where things are happy in this quaint seaside town and the world isn't falling apart, but i'd understand if there are some references to it. just thought i'd ask so i can Prepare if that makes sense

Step 4 isn’t going to include Covid or even reference it. When we set Step 4 in that year we definitely didn’t know there’d be a global pandemic during it. It’s too late to move the timeframe earlier or later, but we’re not going to make Step 4 stressful for anyone because the real world became so much more stressful. The universe of Our Life will just be an even more idealized place than it was before.

hiiiii! i'm really sorry if this is a bother. i was just curious if cove has a canon setting for each step, like is it canon that he stays candid the whole game and is super sporty for instance and the rest are variations? thank you for your time!

None of those settings are canon. They’re all equally valid.

I love the game and Cove so much that I ended up spending most of the holidays playing it. Definitely worth it! Idk if you're taking suggestions/criticisms, but I chose the peach skin tone and seeing it written as "my peach skin" in the game broke immersion for me because I kept thinking it was referring to the fruit instead of my skin color. I think that skin color is most commonly referred to as "fair" but "peachy" or "rosy" would work too if you're looking for a different word

Thank you for sharing your experience. We’ll change it to “peachy” in the next update!

So I accidentally overwrote a save file with a different one, is there any way I can recover that save?

Sadly, there isn’t. Not unless you had a backup of the actual save file files in a separate location you can get. I’m really sorry. You can try using the skip feature to quickly speed through the game and get back to where you were though.

Do you try to maintain the color scheme for the clothing throughout the years in Our Life?

Yes, though in hindsight not as much as I wished I did, haha. It could’ve been a little more cohesive. It was a bit too broad in my opinion.

I noticed that Cliff mentions he wasn’t much older than Cove before finding out he was going to be a father when he finds MC in bed with Cove during Part 3 so doesn’t that Cliff and Kyra were teenage/young parents?

Yeah, Cliff was nineteen and Kyra was eighteen when Cove was born. They were just a couple of kids.

Does Cove have a favourite holiday?

It changes depending on the year. Around Step 1 he’s not a huge fan of a lot of holidays because he’s not together with his whole family for them. But once he’s older and Kyra comes around more, he starts appreciating major family holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas more than other holidays because he knows how it feels not to have that. Though summer vacation is of course his most favorite all the time, if that counts as a “holiday”.

I tried to join your patreon but I can’t seem to? The website keeps saying something went wrong and to try again.

I’m sorry you’re having trouble! I think contacting Patreon support would probably be the best option if the joining process itself is having issues.

How much is it to become a part of your Patreon? I don’t have a lot of money currently but would love to help you out more than just buying the games and dlcs.

Aw, I appreciate you wanting to support but the Patreon is really optional. You don’t need to push yourself to join if you don’t have extra funds for it. To still answer the question, the tiers are $1, $5, $10, $15, and $20 in USD. Each come with different perks.

I had this idea for a future daughter for the MC and Cove being named "Poppy", after the flowers on their hill~

That’s a really sweet idea! I’m sure Cove would be a fan.

So if you don't mind me asking, how do you get Cove to propose to you in Step 4 and not the other way around?

I’m afraid that’d be too big of a spoiler to give away before the epilogue’s release, at least in terms of specifics. Generally you’ll just have to be patient and try not to propose first, haha.

will we get to move in with cove in step 4 😮?? or is that a secret

You can be living together with Cove in Step 4! Though you wouldn’t get to see the place itself. That’s up to your imagination.

Is it bad that I'm completely in love with Cove's dad... What I gotta pay to romance Cliff 😭 (I don't mean as Jamie because that would be wack)

That’ll cost one million 20 twenty dollar bills, haha. I’m really glad you like him, though sadly we aren’t able to make a separate game where you can romance Cliff. I wish we had enough time to make tons of new scenes/extra stories in the Our Life world, but it just takes too long. Maybe people will make fanworks about it.

—–

We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

#our life #Our Life Beginnings & Always #ourlifeba #ask #gb patch #gb patch games

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suituuup · 3 years

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pieces - chapter one

Five years ago, Chloe dropped off the face of the Earth. Beca sees her again in the most unexpected place.

rating: M (drug abuse, mention of sexual abuse in later chapters) word count: 2,100

ao3 link

“Any messages, Gina?”

Beca Mitchell strode out of the elevator, high heels clicking on marble flooring on her way to her office.

Her assistant rushed to walk alongside her, notebook opened as she handed Beca her second coffee of the day, which Beca took with an appreciative smile.

“Mr. Mendes needs to push back his meeting to Thursday, and Mr. Hozier-Byrne is waiting for a call back, preferably before 2 as he’s five hours ahead.”

Beca rounded the corner to her office and dragged her leather desk chair back, shrugging off her woolen trench coat and draping it over the back. “Got it, remind me what I have planned today?”

“You’re having lunch with Mr. Zimmer at the Plaza to discuss Jesse’s project, and apart from the weekly team meeting at five, you’re expected at Edgy Reggie’s party from 10 pm at the Sapphire.”

A groan surfaced from Beca’s throat and her eyes slammed shut as she plopped down on her chair. “I forgot about that. Luke can’t go?”

Gina winced and shook her head. “Family dinner.”

“Family dinner, my ass. His whole family lives back in fucking England,” Beca muttered before she could help it, throwing her assistant an apologetic smile. “Sorry. Thanks, Gina. Hold my calls until ten, please?”

“Of course, Ms. Mitchell.”

As she did every morning while sipping her coffee, Beca listened to demos over the next hour, forwarding them to Luke if any of those yet-unknown artists spiked her interest enough to sign them into their label.

The rest of the day consisted of two meetings, a dozen calls, countless email exchanges, and not enough studio time. A thick blanket of darkness had veiled the city by the time she closed her laptop and called it a day. She stretched her neck and took a moment to gaze at the lit skyscrapers through her floor to ceiling windows, sighing softly.

It was sometimes weird to think about how this was her life. How the asocial, grumpy freshman from thirteen years ago had made it to the top of the music business and now co-owned one of the biggest labels throughout the country.

Scratch that, throughout the world.

Snapping out of her daze, Beca stood and slipped on her coat, plucking her phone off the desk to call herself a Lyft home. She had just about time to take a shower and eat dinner before heading to that stupid party.

Beca could think of a million things she’d rather be doing right now as she strode down the wet sidewalk towards the lit GIRLS red neon sign in the distance a couple of hours later.

She told herself one drink, an hour tops, then she could head home, put on her pajamas, and finish that true-crime TV show she started yesterday.

“Name?” A dude bulkier than the freaking Rock asked her as she made it to the club door.

“Um, Beca Mitchell. I’m Edgy Reggie’s producer.”

Her artist had privatized a strip-club for his celebration party over his album hitting Platinum, and Beca couldn’t not show up, as... well, he was an important client and brought her label the big bucks.

The guy checked his clipboard and nodded, hitching his thumb over his shoulder. “You’re good to go.”

Casting the bouncer a nod, Beca ducked inside the dimmed, crowded club, wincing at the crappy music heavily pumping through the speakers. Three girls in bikinis and heels stood on platforms, twisting their bodies around dancing poles as dozens of dudes reclined back in leather sofas, shamelessly ogling their forms.

Beca’s nose crinkled as she scanned the room for her artist.

“Yo, Beca!”

Her gaze snapped to the left corner, catching sight of Edgy Reggie (he didn’t want to change his stage name, no matter how much Beca insisted) waving her over.

“Hey,” she cast him a tight-lipped smile, tucking her straight hair behind her ears. She nodded at the other dudes sitting around the low table. “What’s up.”

“Guys, this is the girl behind the magic of my album,” Edgy Reggie explained, throwing an arm over her shoulders before Beca could squirm away. “She is fire. ”

Beca chuckled awkwardly, then pointed over her shoulder. “I’m gonna go get myself a drink.”

Maybe two come to think of it, so she could get herself through this.

She headed to the bar and ordered an old-fashioned, fishing in the inside of her coat pocket for her credit card.

“Thanks,” she muttered when the barmaid (also clad in a bikini that left very little to the imagination) came back with her drink, handing her her card just as the club’s speaker made an announcement.

“Ladies and Gentleman, please welcome to the stage… Ariel! ”

The crowd cheered and hooted, Beca glancing over her shoulder to see what all the fuss was about.

There was no amount of alcohol that could have prepared her for the scene unfolding before her.

There, on the main stage, strutted in a redhead, only wearing a silver g-string and high heels. Beca would have recognized that shade of hair anywhere, and while the lighting in the club was low, there wasn’t a doubt in her mind that this girl -- Ariel -- was her former best friend.

Her former best friend who had dropped from the face of the Earth almost five years ago, without so much as an explanation. She hadn’t just stopped talking to Beca, but to all of them, even Aubrey. She was nowhere to be found on social media and when Beca had tried calling her after six months without news, she found out Chloe’s phone number had been disconnected. It wasn’t like they talked on a daily basis before that. After three years spent living on opposite sides of the country, the texts started coming further in between, their communication coming down to a few check-ins a year and on birthdays, until they eventually stopped.

Fearing the worst, Aubrey had called Chloe’s parents, who assured her she was fine, working as a vet in NYC and in a committed relationship. While relieved, the news stung Beca, as it was clear Chloe had deliberately ceased contact.

It took some time, but Beca eventually stopped thinking about her so much, especially when she started getting successful as a music producer and pouring her time and energy into her projects. She soon won her first Grammys, Gold, and Platinum records featured in notorious magazines and talk shows. She could stop working tomorrow and money wouldn’t become an issue, but Beca didn’t like to boast about her fortune, or fame, for that matter.

Despite being insanely busy, she still kept in touch with the other Bellas in their group chat, but she hadn’t seen any of them in a couple of years, missing the last reunion because of her job.

Beca’s mind steered back to the present, where the once most important person in her life was currently dancing for money. Men were staring hungrily at her as she sensually moved around the pole or bent over with her ass in the air to collect dollar bills from the floor, and Beca suddenly felt sick.

This couldn’t be her dream job, right? Something had to have happened for her to settle for this.

Beca grabbed her drink and knocked it back, flagging the barmaid down for another as her mind reeled as to what to do.

She needed to talk to Chloe. In private. Tonight, as soon as she finished… parading in front of these disgusting fuckboys. Only… she wasn’t sure Chloe wanted to talk to her.

“Hey,” she said when the barmaid came back as an idea struck. “How do I get a private lap dance with one of the girls?”

The girl raised a surprised eyebrow. “Backroom, hun. Who do you want?”

“Ariel.”

The platinum blonde let out a curt laugh. “Ariel doesn’t do lap dances, babe.”

Beca’s eyebrows knitted together in a heavy frown. “Why not?”

“Because she’s the boss’ favorite.”

Beca didn’t know what that meant exactly, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to find out as another wave of nausea swept over her insides. “Is your boss here tonight?”

The barmaid scanned the room quickly, nodding. “He’s the guy over there in the suit.”

“Thanks.” She took her drink and headed over to where the fifty-something dude was talking to another guy. Stepping up to them, she ignored their glares over her interrupting their conversation. “Hey. Are you the manager?”

The dude who looked like he ran a mafia mob turned a bit more towards her. “What’s this about?”

“How much for a private dance with Ariel?”

His gaze flickered over Beca’s shoulder towards the stage, then sized Beca up, unimpressed. “She’s not available, kid.”

Beca gritted her teeth at the condescending tone of his voice. “Not even for ten grand for twenty minutes?”

He slow-blinked, then burst out laughing. “Yeah, right.”

“I’m being serious. Ten grand, twenty minutes. Alone in a room, just the two of us.”

The man’s expression hardened. “And I said she’s not available .”

“Twenty grand.” Hell, she’d throw half a million on the table if that’s what was needed to talk to Chloe. After a beat, she added, “And no touching. That’s not what I’m here for.”

The manager seemed to consider her offer for a handful of seconds. “You got the money?”

Dammit. She couldn’t withdraw that much right now, she needed to call her bank. “Tomorrow night.”

He smirked, snickering. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

He turned back to his buddy, leaving Beca grumbling under her breath as she turned around and stalked out of the club. She couldn’t stay. She couldn’t stand the sight of Chloe objectifying her body for money.

As soon as she got home, Beca fired up her computer and typed in Chloe’s name in her browser. Apart from old stuff on the Bellas, she found nothing relevant. Chloe appeared to still be MIA from any social media.

Beca grabbed her phone and scrolled through her contacts, bringing the device to her ear.

“What’s wrong?”

“How do you know something’s wrong?”

“We call each other twice a year on our respective birthdays and stick to the Bellas chat for the rest.”

Beca nibbled on her bottom lip. “I found Chloe.”

A long stretch of silence on the other end of the line followed. “What?”

“I saw her tonight, Aubrey.”

“Where??”

“At a strip club. She’s… a stripper.”

“What? Did you talk to her?”

“No. She was performing on stage. But I will. I’m… buying a lap dance from her tomorrow. I figured… she’ll have to listen to me since she’s being paid for it.” Her eyes slammed shut, scrunching up her nose. “I don’t know. It might be a bad idea, but-- I just wanna make sure she’s okay, you know?”

“Yes, of course. Keep me posted?”

“I will. Talk to you soon.”

Beca shuffled to bed after that, but sleep never came. Her mind kept reeling about Chloe, about what she might say to her once they were face to face, and the possibility that Chloe might shoot her down and refuse to talk to her.

She spent her Saturday trying and failing to make some progress on an ongoing project, willing time to tick faster so she could head back to the club. Mid-afternoon, she headed to the bank to withdraw twenty grand, tucking the envelope in her purse.

“Why does it feel like you’re doing something illegal, Beca?” She muttered to herself on her way out of the bank, slightly paranoid about carrying so much cash on her.

The club was just as crowded when she got there around 10 pm. A different girl danced on the main stage and the manager was nowhere in sight, so Beca perched herself on a stool at the bar, ordering herself another old-fashioned.

“Is your boss around?” She asked the barmaid, a different girl from last night.

“Who’s asking?”

“Tell him the person who wants Ariel is here.”

The girl’s eyebrows shot up at that but she didn’t say anything, nodding before strutting away. Beca sipped at her drink for the next twenty minutes, keeping her back to the stage.

The manager eventually appeared in her peripheral, and he leaned an elbow over the counter, lacing his fingers. “So what’s so special about Ariel?”

Beca slowly set her drink down and fished for the envelope, pushing it towards him while keeping her gaze straight ahead. “I like redheads.”

He plucked the envelope off the counter and peered inside. Twenty stacks of ten hundred dollar bills in exchange for twenty minutes with Chloe.

He nodded. “Follow me.”

Beca finished the rest of her drink, the alcohol managing to muffle her nerves some as she followed the manager towards the back of the club, and down a set of stairs. Her heart pumped hard in her ears and her palms started to sweat as she was led inside a dimly lit room with a handful of sofa chairs and a small stage with a dancing pole, some kind of music that seemed straight out of a porno carrying through the speakers. A spiral staircase was tucked in the right corner, and she guessed that is where the strippers made their entrance from.

Beca wondered how far things usually went in these kinds of private rooms.

She wondered how far Chloe went.

She cast the guy a tight-lipped smile and a nod before he closed the door, and paced the room for a little while, eventually lowering herself on one of the leather chairs and wiping her palms on her designer slacks.

The clicking of heels over metal made Beca’s spine snap straighter. She resisted the urge to look over her shoulder as the steps grew nearer, digging her nails into her thighs as a new round of nerves gripped her insides.

“Good evening, sweetheart,” the huskiness of Chloe’s voice made Beca swallow, and she felt a hand run over her shoulders as Chloe approached from behind.

Glancing up, Beca met familiar, ocean blues.

#bechloe #bechloe fic #bechloe fanfic #beca mitchell #chloe beale #pitch perfect #pieces

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ringmyheart · 3 years

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Hey was wondering if I could get something for lookism characters with an older s/o, like they're 3-4 older. Please do goo, Jake kim and Scott kwon.

Good luck with the blog🤩🤩🤩

Goo Kim

When you get into the relationship, of course he knows ur age and that you’re a few years older than him, and at first he doesn’t mention it but once ur like just a little bit closer he’s probably gonna poke fun at the fact

Because there’s nothing wrong w u being older it’s just that in all the stereotypical or general movies or shows or books it’s like the older person in the relationship is usually the like stronger or more providing person ends up being the oldest in the relationship and ur not useless in the relationship at all but he’s out there like killing ppl and raking in thousands a day at like 19 😭

If ur walking around in public and someone stares at u for a little longer or one of the ten geniuses is looking at u just casually he’ll get up in their face and b like “whaaat?! Do you know who you’re staring at? That’s your elder over there!! Show some respect!!”

He definitely sends u cringy texts like “how’s my favorite 21 year old 😍😍😍😍” and it’s clearly somewhat condescending but he means it endearingly simultaneously

If u don’t know something that he asks u he’ll raise a brow and go “really? A four year head start and u can’t tell me that 🤨” and it’s all good fun but he’s always gonna say stuff like that

And this is all unprompted, if he knows ur actually kinda like insecure for whatever reason that ur older than him, maybe bc he’s already getting cash like crazy at his age, he’ll either start making fun of u relentlessly OR if ur serious about it he’ll cut it out of course and never mention it again. He might try to make u feel better by being like “don’t worry!! Physically and mentally im probably years older than you 😘” and it doesn’t really make u feel better probably but he kind of tries

It’s honestly no big deal to him what ur age is, but if he knows u don’t like him mentioning it so much he will bc he likes to be annoying LMAO and whenever u accomplish something he’ll be like “did u see what my s/o did?! My 21/22yr old s/o?! At their old age they’re still kicking it!!” And ur in NO means old but he just wants to strike a nerve in u and fight in public for fun

But when u put him joking about it aside, it really doesn’t mean anything in the relationship honestly. He doesn’t feel like there’s a certain way for things to go nd just goes about things normally, and he doesn’t really see people older than him as wiser or anytning so he’s not gonna like go to you for advice or ask you to figure things out for him just bc ur older

And honestly u don’t even need a job anymore bc ur gonna b together for a long time and he makes SOOO much money so if u hate ur job or college u have the opportunity to do what u want in life without worrying ab the pay bc he makes it all for u

And yeah he’s pretty stingy w money besides being filthy rich but when or if u need it he’ll give it to u ofc and he wants u to pursue what u like too so he’ll even go to ur job or college and just inform them “btw (y/n) isn’t gonna work here anymore” for u and gets u a job as whatever u want. He beats up ur boss so u can get promoted or something but if u ask about it he’ll deny it anyways and it’s like who else would beat tf out of my boss and he shrugs

Or if u like ur current job or college he’ll threaten the school or ur boss LMAO and have them give u more money or make u pay less or promote u

Even tho ur older than him he sees himself as the like leader of u two ?? Like he’s a really joke-y guy on the exterior but behind the scenes he is doing all the like hard stuff so u don’t have to. Like he sees it as he helps u and if u never offer much help or advice he doesn’t gaf, it’s like he helps u and in return he gets u LMAO

If u like ur job or college, don’t wanna quit and don’t want him threatening ur superiors he is like the number one customer of u guys

Like if u r working retail or as a cashier he is always going to that store nd buying stuff nd funding ur business and he gets chairman choi to do so too

Or he’ll just buy ur company or college LMFAO and suddenly sales r booming and u don’t know why r ur classes r so much easier

Yeah ur older than him and the twelve geniuses but he doesn’t let u near them 😐 he doesn’t want u to be a part of that type of business and honestly keeps u away from it besides maybe gun bc he’s always around him but that’s it

Like he doesn’t want u anywhere near his business or that type of stuff and if ur curios about it he says “u will understand when ur my age” or something LMAO so u will stop asking. It’s like the 1 time he’s suddenly rlly serious

If anyone else mentions how ur older than him in a demeaning way he’ll def be mad it’s like HE can make fun of u but no one else can, like ever. He will fight them nd win even if it’s just on the street or something

He’s threatened like two of ur friends behind ur back bc they made fun of u once and u mentioned it LMAO

He makes u do taxes (does he even do taxes ????? LMFAO) but if he does he makes u do them bc suddenly he thinks ur so much smarter and wiser

If he’s in a rut and needs ur help and it’s something dumb like he lost something he’ll b like “cmooon ur so much smarter than me 😣😩 ur like 21 u would know this for sure” to make u do it and he uses flattery

None of the ten geniuses know ur name bc he’s tryna keep u safe lol

If ur ever in a situation somehow vaguely similar to one he’s in and he needs help on it he’ll ask u what u did, and if u say something surprisingly smart or wise he’ll be kinda surprised bc I feel like he’s cocky and doesn’t think others can help him that much but u do

But overall, it means nothing to him and it doesn’t matter how much older u r he’s still gonna feel like the protector

Jake Kim

It REALLY means nothing to him. Like he honestly never mentions it and ur like does he even know??? Bc a guy like him who’s like a leader of a whole enterprise type thing gang usually seems like he’d wanna be the elder in a relationship so ur like “... u know I’m like 4yrs older than u right?”

And he’s like “...yeah? Was that important or something?” And just blinks at u so ur like ... never mind

Honestly he probably makes u a bank account and puts money in it to surprise u on ur birthday or something like a little fund thing and he has a bank account on the side for u that has like thousands of dollars

If u ever feel bad or weird that ur older than him bc he is so successful and younger than u, he wonders why it even matters??? Who gaf??? And he’ll just hug u or something and is like pls don’t even worry about that... wth

If u ever feel petty bc he’s so much more successful than u bc it’s like when u have a hobby that u love and then a kid ends up being so much better at it than u but SO much worse bc he has like millions at like 19 💀 then he’s like okay but it’s OUR little enterprise now since we r together to assure u. He’s not cocky about it at all

But he won’t offer for u to join or try and help him out in making money even if he’s got to or it’s vital bc he also doesn’t want u involved w Big Deal at ALLLLLLL either, u could literally b like the smartest person in the world but once ur his s/o he probably doesn’t want u involved in his business at all

He does assume ur kind of wiser than him bc of ur age, so he’ll ask u for help or advice more often

Tbh regardless in a relationship he probably doesn’t leave any work for u to do like he does everything the financial stuff the living stuff everything so it doesn’t matter if ur older than him or if u see it as ur responsibility bc of that he’s still gonna bring in the money for y’all

Like he’s gonna take care of everything even if ur older so there’s no pressure for u to “act ur age”

Never brings up the fact that ur older than him, but maybe once in a fight it got bad and he yelled “ffs ur 21 u should know better than this!!” And that hurt ur feelings or something so from then on he just never ever mentioned it

And when others mention it he makes a cut throat motion like “stfu😡” bc he took it as u not liking ur age being brought up rather than u not liking it being held against u but it’s still kinda sweet how he tries to preserve ur feelings sm

If ur in college or something, he tries to help u w hw and stuff and he’s rlly educationally smart I think like he might’ve gotten bad grades but he understands quickly

And eventually he’s just doing ur hw for u LMAO

One time he probably accidentally wrote “Jake Kim” on the top of ur hw and u had to explain to ur professor why that happened

If u work, he probably also bribes ur boss or something to give u a raise and promotion or if u wanna move jobs but r scared of the low pay he feels like it’s a dumb fear bc he is clearly rich af, like u probably don’t even need a job 😭😭

Ur allowed to since ur in ur 20s legally but he doesn’t like or doesn’t let u go around casinos bc he’s seen firsthand how bad gambling is and he has the money to compensate if u ever get into gambling and lose a lot but he just doesn’t want u to feel guilty or get addicted

Like if u pass a casino and wanna go in and r like hey wanna check it out he just grabs ur hand and keeps walking and is like “let’s not” and probably asks u at one point to pls not get into gambling

If ur kinda petty bc he’s so much better at fighting than u despite being younger he’s like u don’t even need to fight I can literally do that for u???? Bc he feels like the only reason U would ever need to fight is to protect urself so if u wanna do it for fun he’ll teach u but doesn’t take it that srsly

He maybe made like one joke ab ur age or sent u a meme he saw ab relationships but u left him on read and it was just a bad joke or something but yeah overall he really refrains from bringing up ur age like ever 😭😭

He thinks ur insecure bc ur getting older or something and that’s y so he might start going like “looking youthful today 😀👍” every morning to u and ur like oh hehe thanks ????????

If someone else ever voices that they think it’s weird ur older than him he’ll fight them too like first he’ll go “(y/n), is this ur friend ?” Like he did w jiho and if ur like no he’s like oh :)) and then punches them or something

Doesn’t tell u stuff ab his business and ur like I’m 20-23 I can handle it and he just refuses anyways and will leave u in the dark bc yk won’t even risk it

Someone in Big Deal might be like “use ur s/o to help us work nd get money since they’re old they seem professional” he kicked them out immediately ur not touching that shit

But generally, he doesn’t care about it at all, and honestly just cares ab u and not ur age

Scott Kwon

He definitely uses u to get into places only ppl 20+ can enter LMAOO

He’ll have u walk in first and then slip in past u and if he gets caught he grabs u and goes “THIS is my s/o!!! They’re clearly of age, and I’m their s/o so clearly I am of age too 😤😤”

Ur banned from like 50 bars because of this like there’s a little “if these two come and ask u to enter their bar DO NOT LET THEM ENTER!!” Wall for y’all

He might try and hide in ur coat or something to get in but it never works

He definitely makes fun of ur age in a cocky way like haha... an older person wanted to get with ME. Little old me. And he feels like hot stuff bc of it for sure

Brags about it a lot like will take out ur photo and goes “u see this?? My s/o?? Yeah they’re in love w me and THREE YRS OLDER... hold ur applause guys” and it boosts his ego sm

He sends u scarily recent memes or jokes on the internet ab older s/o’s if there r any, and eventually when u go on his Instagram at least 1/3rd of his feed is just ageist jokes

If it really hurts ur feelings, he won’t tell any jokes ab it and won’t mention it ever again but will continue to utilize ur age to do things he can’t at age 18-19

He feels proud that he’s making sm money and is such a good fighter despite being younger than u bc he feels like it makes u look up to him so he’ll boast about it like he’ll punch something and go see that babe????? I can do that and I’m only 19!!! And ur like omg that’s so cooollll!!!!! <3 and his heart just swells

Pays for anything u want like buys u everything u ask for or just look at tbh, and also feels like u have no responsibility just bc ur older and seees himself as like the “leader” if the relationship and has a sense of duty to helping u and everything

Steers u away from trouble ASAP too it doesn’t matter if u can hold off on ur own, if he sees guys that just look mean he and u r walking the other way and ur like bro what?? And he just lies and is like I liked the sunset this direction or smmn and he doesn’t confide in u ab scary things

Bc yeah u can probably handle scary or threatening news but he’s not gna risk it regardless

If he’s rlly stressed ab something that can’t endanger u he won’t tell u that much ab it but might vaguely describe his predicament and looks to u for help and comfort and u just listen and he feels so much better afterwards and he’s telling u all this and ur just like mhm uh-huh :) and so he starts confiding in u more

But ruins it by going like “damn old ppl r good listeners 😆” and ur like STOPPPPPPP

Everyone in God Dog knows ur name age face and occupation bc he’s always talking ab u LMAO

When he was younger and didn’t have that much leniency with the law he made u his legal guardian so he can do what he wants and he tries to use u to get him to do stuf by pointing to u and going “they’re my legal guardian and they say I can drink all this!!” And ur like “no I absolutely do not???!!!!!” And he thought by doing that he’d get anytning but u prioritize his health 🙄 and he’s annoyed but secretly loves it and loves u doting on him nd worrying ab him and his well-being lol

In general, he rlly doesn’t care that ur older than him. His only big concern I. A relationship ever is how he can keep u safe bc he’s in pretty like tough stuff, and he’ll make fun of u but in all good fun and loves u sm

Thank you for the request, and thanks for the wish of luck <3 I’ll the my best w this blog!! I’m not that good at writing for Jake Kim, btw, because his character can kinda confuse me sometimes but he seems to be popular so I hope I get more requests of him so I can get his character down and write him properly. 💘I hope this was what u wanted 😭

#Lookism x reader #Goo x reader #Scott Kwon x reader #Jake Kim x reader #Goo Kim x reader

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tundrainafrica · 3 years

Note

So, what's your overall opinion on snk 139?

Something doesn’t sit well with me with how people on Twitter are complaining about 139. Personally (Hange backstory aside), it was satisfying and despite what people are saying that it ‘romanticizes genocide,’ I do not agree. I wanted to give my thoughts on the chapter overall so I decided to write it out.

In fact, I have another take on the overall message of the story and I hope people would give this a read.

Disclaimer: Sure, I am defending the story line and the ‘message’ that’s coming with it but I in no way, agree with the genocide. But there is a more nuanced take on this which I think will help people understand that there is an underlying message to all this and I wanted to just talk about it below.

Also, I found some cringe-worthy moments, I do not agree with Armin’s take on ‘Thank you for committing genocide for us’ one of the most horrible lines ever and I like to retcon that and never think about it again and I intend to read the Japanese raws though to check if it was just a translation error.

Maybe there is someone who already explored this but yeah, I’ll just write this in case no one has.

For now though, allow me to give a more detailed analysis of the message over all so people stop hating on the ending for ‘romanticizing genocide’ because I think this is a low key pretty shallow take on the whole thing and I want to provide some information, some analysis and some comparison to make people realize, this isn’t as easy as people claim it to be.

So let me start by mentioning something about the war with Marley to give people some perspective.

Yams pretty much set up a trolley problem on a wider scale and Eren was the one with the lever.

For people who don’t know what the trolley problem is, allow me to explain it below.

Here is a sample I found online: (See this link for details)

“A runaway trolley is heading down the tracks toward five workers who will all be killed if the trolley proceeds on its present course. Adam is standing next to a large switch that can divert the trolley onto a different track. The only way to save the lives of the five workers is to divert the trolley onto another track that only has one worker on it. If Adam diverts the trolley onto the other track, this one worker will die, but the other five workers will be saved.”

There are a lot of variations to this like:

“A runaway trolley is heading down the tracks toward five workers who will all be killed if the trolley proceeds on its present course. Adam is on a footbridge over the tracks, in between the approaching trolley and the five workers. Next to him on this footbridge is a stranger who happens to be very large. The only way to save the lives of the five workers is to push this stranger off the footbridge and onto the tracks below where his large body will stop the trolley. The stranger will die if Adam does this, but the five workers will be saved”

And there are so many other variations of this.

The runaway trolley is going after your mom vs. five escaped prisoners.

The runaway trolley is going after Pope Francis vs five serial killers.

These trolley problems show the moral tension between two schools of thought which are in two different ends of the moral spectrum: ‘Utilitarian ethics and ‘deontological ethics’ which are both either way, inherently flawed yet not totally bad. Utilitarian ethics focuses on the net happiness of doing an action as a determinant of whether something is good or not. So a utilitarian will find a way to kill less people and will probably go for the action which will actively kill people if it means saving others.

Deontological ethics emphasizes that the attention should be on the act in itself not the result is what makes something good. So ‘NOT pulling the lever’ even if it kills five people is the good thing to do.

The thing is, the trolley problem is not completely applicable in real life because you cannot really predict what’s gonna happen. Utilitarian ethics assumes that you will know what will happen in the end.

And here’s the thing, in the massive trolley problem created by Yams, Eren was the one with the lever. This was already proven in 138 and there were clear cut results. Eren knew what was going to happen. If he could, he would have just yeeted off to the woods with Mikasa and lived their remaining life together.

If he didn’t do anything, Paradis would have been completely destroyed and lost in five years or so. Marley was gonna overrun Paradis, the other nations were going to destroy it, take their resources and massive genocide was going to happen anyway.

Sure, Zeke and Hange offered their own suggestions to stop it. But as the founding titan, I’m sure Eren knew it probably wasn’t going to work. Because his daydream or the reality he saw where he lived in the woods with Mikasa implies that someone else took over the peace negotiations and Eren said himself, they had at least five years of peace before Marley and the other countries invade.

So with the results of both choices of the ‘trolley problem’ in Eren’s head at that time, he had a clear choice to make. Lemme quote the trolley problem again and apply it to his case.

“A runaway trolley (aka the war) is heading down the tracks towards Paradis who will all be killed if the trolley proceeds on its present course. Eren is standing next to a large switch that can divert the trolley onto a different track. The only way to save the lives of the people of his hometown is to divert the trolley onto another track that has the rest of the world (or at least the victims) on it. If Eren diverts the trolley onto the other track, the genoicde (the intended genocide), but Paradis will be saved.”

Okay fine, it looks like Eren did do something horrible because he pulled the lever and let more people die which is considered bad under the paradigm of both utilitarian and deontological ethics.

But lemme show you another variation of the trolley problem which can put Eren’s choice into perspective:

“A runaway trolley is heading down the tracks towards your beloved family who will all be killed if the trolley proceeds on its present course. You are standing next to a large switch that can divert the trolley onto a different track. The only way to save the lives of your loved ones is to divert the trolley onto another track that has complete strangers that have only hated you and are ready to fight back and kill everyone you love if you let them live. What will you do?”

This is difficult right? I don’t think it would be easy to make a choice to kill your family right?

So Eren went for the easier choice...

“A runaway trolley is heading down the tracks towards Eren’s loved ones who will all be killed if the trolley proceeds on its present course. Eren is standing next to a large switch that can divert the trolley onto a different track. The only way to save the lives of his loved ones is to divert the trolley onto another track that has complete strangers that have only hated him and are ready to fight back and kill everyone he loves if he lets them live.. So Eren diverts the trolley onto the other track, this trolley kills the current victims of the rumbling, but his hometown Paradis will be saved.”

So, what fueled Eren’s choice? Can love fuel Eren’s choice? Is love a valid reason to push or to leave the lever?

I personally believe love is the answer. But here my explanation.

Utilitarian and Deontological ethics are on two different sides of the ethical spectrum and at their extremes they are both inherently flawed paradigms to live by. Most people actually flit between the two when making decisions in morally gray situations which I believe is generally the most appropriate way to navigate ethics.

Let me introduce one new ethical paradigm to this discussion. “Aristotle ethics’ or Nicomachean ethics which claims there is a golden mean for everything. So goodness is finding that golden mean.

So I personally believe the most ethical and the best option is the finding that golden mean in between utilitarian ethics and deontological ethics, and what is the golden mean?

It’s difficult to find but I always believed the golden mean for something as complex as morality is the ‘most loving option’ but believe me, the most ‘loving option’ is very difficult thing to find.

I never believed that ‘true love’ was an emotion. I always believed love to be something born of deep discernment more than everything else. Although Eren had touched on love when he made the final decision to kill, he lacked the discernment which makes his decision still inherently flawed in the grand scheme of things.

So what was the whole point of the story?

I never believed AOT to be a manga that ‘romanticizes genocide’ regardless of what people are saying.

I think what Yams was trying to set up here, after giving Eren the very difficult decision, was ‘who set up the tracks in the first place?’

Who forced that young boy from Shinganshina to stand at the side of the tracks and have to make the decision to kill millions or to let his family die?

Was it the cycle of hatred? Was it the crapsack world that just forces everyone to be an asshole?

And the thing is, their world is a shithole. Just like ours.

Everyone is forced to do evil every once in their life (even through small ways) but it doesn’t mean that these people are completely at fault. There are structures in society that force us to do ‘evil’ to survive and the Catholic concept of social sin explains this. I won’t go into detail about this but I just want to say...

Morality is incredibly complex and I do not believe a clear cut right or wrong exist. But I believe if everyone discerned for themselves what right or wrong is, if everyone did their part to make this world a better place, maybe so many people wouldn’t be faced with their own version of the ‘trolley problem,’ maybe so many people wouldn’t be faced with the decision to make such an ethically gray and questionable decision like Eren.

So what’s the message that I believe Yams is trying to relay with his story?

Stop the cycle of hatred, start talking, start discourse. Stop fighting. And I think he has shown it multiple times with Eren and Reiner’s conversation and with Marco’s screams of ‘WE HAVEN’T EVEN TALKED THIS THROUGH YET.”

Anyway, I hope this meta or this rant whatever you think it is, just gives some new perspectives on the ending. Don’t get me wrong, Eren made a very ethically questionable decision but it had never been an easy decision to make to begin with.

And I hope this type of analysis and reflection could be useful to your own thoughts and your own ways on how you choose to navigate life.

#snk 139 #snk spoilers #snk ending #eren jaeger #meta

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impala1967dwinchester · 3 years

Text

Sam Winchester: Glasses

*Credit to gif owner*

Pairing: Sam W. X Reader

Pov: Reader

Warnings: Sam because he’s always a warning, the reader fantasizing about Sam, implied smut, the reader has a crush on Sam, Sam playing clueless, little tiny mention of Dean, Dom!Sam, Sub!Reader

Summary: When Sam brings his glasses out to be able to read the lore, the reader does nothing but stare at him.

Word Count: 1.5k

Main Masterlist

Talist: @sweetdetectivequeen

We’ve sat here a million times. Sitting looking over the same lore books, trying to find anything helpful for a hunt. A million times I sat with my nose stuck in the book, and I couldn’t care less if the bunker was burning down.

Just sitting here and reading through lore was enough for me. It was enough, but it was all I was going get from Sam. I don’t think Sam knows what kind of effect he truly does have on me.

That look when he thinks he has found something, or when he comes back from one of his mornings runs. The slight sweat lays across his skin. The way his eyes have so many different shades to them.

Like after a hunt they are dark brown, the adrenaline still running through his veins, his chest rising and falling fast as he tries to catch his breath. At the bunker, at home sweet home, his eyes shined bright green like the color jade.

When we are all sitting together drinking and talking about the best parts of our pasts, or even basking in the glory that we’ve saved the world just a few times. Sam's eyes turn this magnificent shade of teal. They glimmered as he’d laugh, his huge smile only dragging me in more.

Like I said millions of times we’ve sat around each other in almost complete silence. This time... this time I wasn’t ready for the shock of what Sam was pulling.

Sam had gotten up from the library table the chair scratching the floor as he pushed back. I didn’t do anything besides bring my gaze up to look up at him. He looked over at me, smiling, and then walked out of the library.

Wondering where he was going, I stayed seated. If Sam had found something helpful, he would have made a scene about it. He wouldn’t have just gotten up and said nothing.

Regardless I continued reading. Going over the same material, I wasn’t entirely sure anymore what we were looking for. I needed to stretch anyways, so I got up from my seat. Pushing my chair in, I reached up and stretched my arms.

I heard the harsh pound of boots on the bunker floors. I reached down to touched my socked covered toes. My ass on a full show for anyone who was to walk into the bunker's library.

I heard the harsh sound of the boots on the floor until I didn’t, looking between my legs as I continued to stretched. There was Sam staring at me, with an eyebrow raised as to ask me a question.

I wasn’t uncomfortable about my current position; I was more worried about what was on Sam face. “What are you doing, Y/n?” Sam asked coming over to the library table to sit back down.

I took that as my signal to stop stretching and go back to my seat. I was trying to find my words, my mouth opening and closing. “Are you okay over there?” Sam asked.

Stop asking me so many questions....

Actually, don’t stop, please keep talking. Damn I could listen to your voice over again. You could be yelling at me, or soothing me after a bad hunt. Just keep talking please Sam.

“I was just... umm stretching my back was starting to hurt.” I spoke. “You look like you were having a hard time reading.” I said pointing towards Sam's face. He crossed his eyes in a silly fashion and then started to take them off setting them on the table.

“Look don’t make fun me, i get that enough from Dean. But I used to wear these when I was doing research at law school. Not to mention I am not getting any younger.” Sam said spinning his glasses in his hands and then putting them back on.

“We should back to work don’t you say.” Sam said opening the lore book back up. It went to being dead silent. I scooted my chair closer to the table cracking my neck getting ready to read all over again.

This pattern went on for a while. Sam and I would stop for a few moments talk about something, or get something from the kitchen, I’d stretch. It was a comfortable pattern.

We’d sat back down, but this time when I opened my current lore book, I couldn’t stop from staring at Sam. HIs hand gliding through his hair and pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

I clinched my thighs together, pushing back of the chair. Trying to brace myself. Sam is just so damn hot. I don’t think he knows it either.

I watched as his eyes grew wide and his face lite up, his hand coming up to take his glasses off and putting the end of his glasses between his lips. Then a smile crossed his face, Sam looked up at me.

“Come over here. I think I found it!” Sam said

I got up and walked over to Sam seat and was hesitate to out my hand on his shoulder, but I didn’t have time to think because Sam was already talking. The problem was I wasn’t listening, I was daydreaming.

Sam scent filling my nose, and the thought of my hand landing on his shoulder feeling the pull of muscle. My hands on his body. God all I want is his hands on me please. All I want is for Sam is pull me into his lap, his lump kissable lips on mine. I want to Sam to take me on this library table. I want our clothes spread across the room.

I want the fear of being caught. I want so much to just be with Sam. Do I tell him? Will that just make things weird? Will I overstep a boundary? That I don’t even know exist.

“Y/n? Did you hear me?” Sam said puling me from dirty questionable thoughts. “Umm. I’m be honest no.” I said starting to walk away from Sam back to my side of the table. But of course, before I was able to step away from Sam. His hand was around my wrist pulling me into him.

Specifically, into Sam's lap. “Oh shit, I didn’t... I’m sorry.” Sam stuttered. “It’s fine Sam. Just let go of my wrist.” I said forcing myself to get up. “Wait... What’s going on?” Sam asked worry in his voice. “Nothing is wrong Sam.” I said trying to end the conversation.

“Y/n... Y/n all you’ve done today has been quiet. You may not think that you being secretive but I caught you staring multiply time just today. So, explain it to me? Because it seems like someone has a crush on me.” Sam said as he stiffened puffing his chest out.

I was at a lost for word, stuck in the spot that I was standing in. “See the no words tells me everything I need to know. Maybe you should have just asked me if I like you.” Sam said starting to get up from the chair. I shallowed hard. I could feel his body pressed hard against mine.

Clinching my thighs together as another imagine went past in my brain. With the rest of my confidence, I leaned my head back against Sam right collar bone. “Okay then, I like you Sam. I have for a while. You have realized though...” I said, but was cut off by a passionate kiss.

It was as if Sam was waiting much longer then me to kiss. His tongue intruding my mouth, we battled for dominance and eventually I let Sam win. His tongue explored, his hands reaching around and landing on my hips, grinding me back into Sam's strong and board figure.

Pulling from my lips, Sam bit slightly on my bottom lips and let it pop back. Whispering into my ear. “Can you feel that?” I hummed and clinched my thighs together. “You know you kinda have a horrible poker face. You let all those fantasy play over your face. Don’t think I can’t feel when you clinch your thighs together.” Sam said moving his other to hold my rib cage.

Getting the little bit of courage, I had left, I whimpered out. “Can we go to your room. I’m really hoping this isn’t a dream right now.” I heard Sam grunt, and then I felt his tongue lick a strip up on my outer ear, nibble afterwards.

“We can go wherever you want Baby girl. Wouldn’t want someone to catch now would you.” He spoke spinning me around, so we were facing each other. “Just to clarify, I like you, and you like me? And this isn’t a one-time thing either?” I asked as Sam rubbing his much larger hands up and down my sides.

For just a split second I saw a different side of Sam. “Yes, to your first question, and of course. Because I don’t think I want to kiss anyone else besides you. And if I’m thinking right, I’ll fall in love with the rest of your body.” Sam said leaning forward for another kiss, but this one was slow and more precious.

I heard the sound of the book slam. “Let’s go because I’m pretty sure these clothes aren’t going to come off by themselves.” I said winking and smirking. “Baby girl, you read my mind.” Sam said smirking and picking me up my legs wrapping around his hips.

Completed on: 04/09/2021

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