haven’t been in bed before midnight in ages you wouldn’t think an hour and a half birthday party would do that much but i am EXHAUSTED

the ttpd songs my high school german teacher said stood out to him: down bad (gay rights!), my boy only breaks his favorite toys, fortnight, and who's afraid of little old me - when he got to the last one i was like MEEE and he was saying how it's the kind of song you wanna scream even though you can't hit the notes like fucking yeah omg he also said he's only listened to the second half a couple times and he thinks it's kinda forgettable but since the first half grew on him i would think the second half might too, and that it would've been better to do a regular length album which is FAIR but i will never complain about having 31 new taylor songs and like, if she had done a normal length album it would certainly be missing so many of the ones i currently consider faves

also oh my god it just occurred to me that is the first time i've had a conversation with someone about taylor/her tour/her new work WITHOUT even a mention of travis or any other man holy shit i just like enjoyed the discussion about her music and that's always fun enough on its own but every time particularly with travis bc i live in missouri i have to hear about it and it's like please god i just don't care if you wanted to talk kaylor that would be different but i have just never cared or believed in these relationships so it's nice that i didn't have to put on a front and pretend i'm not an insane internet person and be like 'oh yes sure' in response to how cute they are or whatever when i could not care less

ZENDAYA

• Wears a ‘Challengers’ dress made by designer Celia Kritharioti, styled by Law Roach

Fumi Nikaido for Harper's Bazaar Japan (May 2024)

JODIE COMER via Instagram

KEKE PALMER ―Photographed by Jacob Webster

sighhhhh why can't people tag their endg*me gifs

BELLA HADID for Victoria's Secret (2024)

what it really boils down to is getting out of the house is good but having to talk to people about my pathetic life really dampens it and is about as bad as living it lol

god days like today

like. i think it's hard enough being at a friend's events when i feel like i'm not in their life enough compared to the people around me which sure to an extent that's just adulthood but i feel guilty bc i don't have an excuse other than mental illness bc like i am not too busy to keep in touch with people, i'm just BAD at it

and then like, the wedding was good bc i had my other friend there with me but the baby shower last year and the baby's birthday party today i did not and it's like awkward small talk with people i don't know or only interacted with a little at those other events like i cannot rely on my friend who is the hostess or her mom or anyone bc they have to talk to everyone so like when there's no friends there it sucks omg another reason to wish for a partner like that would be someone to bring along to any event and never suffer the awkwardness like at least it's one of those things where a lot of others are clearly feeling the same but i can't bridge that gap either

and the only other person who showed up later that i knew was my high school german teacher who i always liked and he's a taylor fan so once we got talking about how he's seeing her on tour and the album it was like so much better (though omg was he a fan when i was in high school bc WHY did we not talk about it then when i literally had no one to bond with lol some people came around to 1989 and all but literally never had friends who loved her like me anyway) BUT ya know like he asked if everything was the same since we last saw each other at the wedding, which i said yes, and quickly asked how things were at the school and like later he asked if i was taking any fun trips which it's like no i wish though like i had fun girls trips with my mom and sister but that'll probably never happen again now that my sister is married with a kid and i had a couple fun road trips with friends in college but that'll probably never happen again bc who has the time/money so like the majority of what i've ever had are family vacations which were decidedly NOT fun with my dad and his moods but like idk i COULD like trips with the right person/people and i wish i were willing/felt i had enough money to do something on my own i guess even visiting my sister across the state for a weekend this summer or something might be good. i think they asked before the wedding and it just didn't happen and it'd be fun to spend time with my niece and all but idk it still would be preferable to do something alone bc i need ME TIME i need no one i know around me at all whether i like them or not

anyway so it's embarrassing to be like yes i am still living my nepo baby life like at least with friends they'll just ask how's work or whatever bc i think it's obvious i don't wanna talk about this stuff but at the same time more and more over the years as i've become increasingly desperate it's like can someone please ask, can someone offer a kind word, can someone give me a fucking idea what the hell to do to get out of here but ya know. it's all on me i guess but i can't figure any of it out on my own so it's just. embarrassing especially being almost 30 now like skjdkjfs i can't stand talking about my life to anyone strangers or friends because i have nothing worthwhile to show for it

at least it was a short party and all and it IS lovely to see my friend being a mom and a wife and everything but just for me it's like such a long time to stand around awkwardly but i can't constantly look at my phone bc that feels rude and then except for a couple conversations that were more comfortable it's like hellish talking about myself and i'd prefer the standing around awkwardly to that anyway. wish someone would help me escape the horror that is my life

there’s so much pathologizing over why enemies to lovers is a popular trope (something something the normalization of abuse something something) when the simplest and less moronic answer is that narratives thrive on irony and reversals, and there’s no greater irony than characters going from hating each other’s guts to loving each other unconditionally. raw thesis-antithesis-synthesis.

AMBER HEARD The Late Show with David Letterman (February 17, 2014)

Scarlett Johansson photographed for the May Issue of InStyle Magazine (2010)

pirates of the caribbean + water

parishilton: Flower Child Forever 🌸🌸👸🏼🌸🌸 #Coachella 🎵 #FameWontLoveYou with @SiaMusic out now!🥹🥰 What does everyone think of our new song?☺️

Florence Welch and Taylor Swift via Jack Antonoff's Instagram 🌿