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sosadz · 6 months

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Should’nt have.

Simon Ghost Riley x Fem!Reader

warning : mc death, fluff to angst

1774 words

Ghost was never an open man, he made some little here and there exception in the past for… let’s say, one particular Scottish man. But after he got K.I.A Ghost has changed. Other than Price and Gaz. No one in the Task Force 141 knows nothing about him and he knows nothing about anyone. He doesn’t care to know a thing about other recruits if he doesn’t have to.

He vowed to himself that from that day he won’t let it effects him. He likes to believe that he doesn’t want anyone to get closer to him because it will effect his mission but deep down he knows. Inside the walls he created to protect his own heart, there was a scream. A very scared one.

Something inside him was scratching him from behind those walls. If he let it out it will scratch him from inside out and will eat him alive until there’s not a single blood left in his body. He’s afraid of losing someone he cares so deeply for and someone who makes his life a little more brighter. He couldn’t afford that to happen again.

He was fully capable of doing so until you joined the TF 141. At first you were annoying in his eyes. Way too annoying. Always has something to say, always so caring and gentle. It itches his mind so much. Even after he snapped once and ended up yelling at you because you refused to leave him and go to the RP alone. Yet here you are, trying to make a silly light-hearted conversation with him in the middle of the mess hall. “you know sharks don’t have bone, Lt?”

“No” He simply said it. He never speak to you more than he has to. Usually you would keep going, ramblings about it with or without his reply. But today after a simple denied from him you went quiet. Perhaps he pities you, perhaps he wants to know more about sharks, you would never know. But the truth is, he just likes hearing your voice.

“Tell me more about it, sergeant” A soft smile creeping up on your face then you proceeded to tell him why Sharks don’t have bone. He didn’t look at you directly but a man like Simon will always know it. A tiny little smile formed at the corner of his lips but it was concealed by his balaclava. You have no idea how many times he unintentionally smiled while he was listening to you.

It was always like this. You and him sitting together, he barely says anything and you never fail to keep the conversation going.

one month,

three months,

five months had passed.

You found yourself laying on his laps talking about your day while he was caressing your hair carefully as if every inches of you are so fragile he might break it with one wrong move.

“Can I ask you a question?” You said, looking up to meet his beautiful hazel gaze. His eyes meet yours back and gave you a silent nodded. “Do you like it when I call you Simon or Lieutenant more?” A soft chuckled you couldn’t see appeared behind his balaclava. “Simon” He replied, tucking a part of your hair back behind your ear. “But it’s better if you call me Lieutenant in front of everyone” He added. You nodded with full understanding. No one really knows about you two yet. They might have figured out you both have some sort of relationship going on but that’s about it. They didn’t know how much night has been spent with you and him in his bunk bed cuddling, hugging and thousands of words coming out from both mouths saying how much each other’s mean to them in their own way of expressing it. They didn’t know you both were this close.

One day the TF 141 was sitting together in the briefing room with Price standing in front of them, telling the task force about how he planned this mission. Turned out that you, Gaz and a couple of new recruits have to help rescue a hostage from Makarov men.

Of course as this whole secret relationship has developed more and more as each days have passed causing Ghost to protest. When everyone including you left the briefing room he immediately walked toward Price and asked if he could come with Y/n. He gave Price all of the reasons he could ever think of. It is a very dangerous mission and he was very worried for you. And as cliché as it was, Price denied.

He left the room frustrated, but he kept his cool. “bloody hell…” He murmured to himself then a sight of you walking passed him caught his eyes, he grabbed your hand and dragged you away to his bunk. You didn’t have a chance to protest. Not that you will anyway. So you let him. “what’s going on, Simon?” You asked as soon as his bunk’s door closed, your brows furrowed in confuse in his suddenness. “Be careful in your next mission, don’t try to be a hero and save every soldiers in sight. Save yourself first, got it?” He said in a demanding tone. He was serious. He knows how dangerous Makarov men can be, especially for a recruit like you who only joined task force 141 for only a year. He trusted your skill with his whole heart but obviously you didn’t have enough experiences for this mission in his perspective. “I will, I promise to look after myself first” You tiptoed to his height and gave him a quick kiss. It didn’t do much, he will be worried regardless any method you use to reassure him at this point but at least you promise to look after yourself first to him. “we will end up here, sitting next to each other, like we always do” You grabbed his hands then traced the back of his fingers softly. Sincerity in your tone made him more calm. He didn’t say anything more but trying to clear his mind and tell himself everything is going to be alright.

But it didn’t.

All he had to do was to go against Price command and went with you. But that’s not him. But he should have. So that you would still be sitting next to him right now just like you said. He blamed Price, he even blamed god, he blamed that one recruit who made a mistake while they were on a mission and causing you to be the one who’s laying beyond the ground right now. But no matter how much he blames someone else, he blamed himself even more. He is the one that couldn’t protect you. He should’ve known it was too dangerous for you and you wouldn’t make it out alive. He wasn’t even there for you when you got shot. Hell, he was busy helping someone else who he knows is capable of completing the mission alone.

His hands gripped your dog tag so tight that if his hands isn’t so thick it might have bleed already. A tear slipped through his eye it fell on his balaclava causing a tiny wet spot under his eyes area. A scent of you were all around him. You spent your time so much in his bunk to the point where all of his belongings smelled like your perfume. The one he told you it smelled too sweet for him but now he wished to smell it from the crook of your neck more than ever. He couldn’t escape you. Not that he wants to. His closet still had some of your clothes, at the top of his bunk bed there was a small dried flower you picked up for him in the forest when you were on a mission back in the past. You told him to get rid of it and that you will find a new one for him since the one he had didn’t look good anymore. Thankfully he never did.

His gaze caught a similar face, it was your picture under his pillow. It must’ve slipped out when he destroyed the bunk after he heard the news.

‘Lieutenant, I think our mess hall has the nastiest food, how did you stand it’ You, after your three months in TF 141. Oh, to hear that voice of yours again.

‘Lieutenant, what if when we called an air strike on them while they’re shitting? wouldn’t that be the worst way to die?’ To be able to hit your head slightly for making a dumb joke again.

‘Lieutenant, can you help me train? I feel like I couldn’t catch up with the rest of the team’ To be able to touch you and making memories with you again.

‘I love you, Simon’ You, the first time you said you love him. He didn’t say it back, he never did. ‘I know’ You always added it after saying how you love him. He is a man of action and you know that.

You know he loved you.

His heart ached. All he could do was buried his face on the black shirt you left in his closet, grabbed it tight like it will disappear as soon as he let it go. You weren’t here anymore. You were gone. How could he accepts that? He once lost a dearest friend of his now he lost the love of his life. Why him? Why everyone he loves?

Your voice still ringing in his head over and over like a reminder that you were here. Your little giggling, your gentle touch on his shoulder when he was stressed. Your tiny face snuggling into his embrace at night.

No more of that.

Everything about you were gone now he was left with only your scent lingering around his bunk, memories he made with you in his mind and a picture of you.

A thought hit his mind causing him to shake, his breath became more heavier. What if one day he forget your voice, forget the way your touch felt on his skin, forget the look on your face. What if one day your scent fades away from his bunk, from his closet, from your clothes.

The thought of everything about you fade away from him entirely made his knees weak, his body was trembling on his bed.

“Please”

All he could do at the moment was begging and begging to someone. But there was no one.

He was left alone with his own thought, on the bed with the scent of you.

Which he knew wouldn’t be there forever.

#ghost #simon ghost riley #cod #ghost cod #cod x reader #ghost x reader #cod x y/n #ghost x y/n

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sosadz · 2 years

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Promise.

Oc fiction.

I decided to make my oc’s a fiction. I hope yall enjoy this TT

Tw/warning : Death, gun, blood

“Hey, sit down.” I spoke when I saw a similar face walking in my office. “What’s up brother?” He sat down. “Is it about business or family?” I took a deep breath and replied to him “Both, I think I’m going to retire, Cal.” As soon as he heard what I said his face look confused. “Is this a joke?” He asked. “I want you to take over my company and I’ll become your silent partner.” I gave him a minute to recollect what I said. “Brother, you know I won’t decline your request but… why? You worked so hard for this. 30 years, brother. 30 years.” My hands moved onto the table as I sighed. “It’s about Mcquinn. We fight a lot this year and I really think I’m the one putting all of my interest in my work and I didn’t recognize that I leave him behind.” Both of us got quiet for a minute. Because we know it’s true. But my brother also know that working is what I love.

Finally he said something. “Let me ask you one question, no, two. First, do you really want to do this? And second, what about that job?” My heart dropped. There was one task I still have to finish and it’s the one I wish I could just make it never happen at all. “I really wanted to brother. I have enough money and for the past 30 years, it was enough for me.” I paused, looking at a man in front of me. Before I could say anything he suddenly spoke. “I can do it for you.” My eyebrows immediately frowned. “No” I blurted out. “You can’t, that’s my responsibility and my risk to take. And don’t be stubborn. I’ll do it and I will send someone to you to handle all the paperwork tomorrow.” I stood up and arranged my necktie. “And I will comeback. But if anything ever happens, promise me Cal, that you will take care of him for me.” He nodded with his eyes full of concerned. But I could never put my own family in danger for my own good. So I walked out of my office and go home.

The door shut soundlessly as I walked in try not to wake him up. “Hey… you’re awake.” I sat down on the bed with him. “where were you?” he asked me with his usual sleepy sound. “Just arranged some business and hey, I have a good new.” He stopped me before I could tell him anything. “You never come with only a good news. What’s the bad new? I want that first.” He looked right at me in the eyes. I giggled but my voice was filled with desperation and sorrow. “You know me so well Mc. But can I tell you the good new first? Hm?” I hugged him tight with both arms, slowly kissing him all over his neck and face. “Fine, stop acting like a dog in heat.” He took my hands out of him and placed it on the bed. I smiled at him and said “I’m going to let Calvin took care of my company, and I will be his silent partner, which I will mostly let him handle things.” His eyes widened like he didn’t believe a single word I said. “Are you serious?” His face looked so amazing the moment I told him that. He looked so confused and happy at the same time. “Yes.” I clasped his hands tight. “All these fighting and yelling Mc, I hate it. I hate hearing you cry every night because of me. I fucking hate it. I hate when I couldn’t come back and hug you to sleep like I used to do. I miss when we laugh together, having fun. Just u-“ He jumped on me and placed his lips onto mine. It was like a whole word stopped for a minute. Then he broke away. “and about the bad new…” He clenched his hands hoping it isn’t something that bad. “I have to take care of one last thing. It’s business. Or else I couldn’t leave this whole thing. I’ll be away for 5 days.” I knew he won’t let me go if I didn’t say I won’t be able to leave my business behind. Even with me saying that he still doesn’t want me to go. “No. There has to be another way Shinji, I won’t let you go.” He stood up and I know his body language too well. It’s a sign that he will be insisted and nothing will change his mind. But this time I will have to disobey him. Just this once and everything will be taken care of. Then I can make it up for him. For us. “I’m sorry, but I have to. I’m willing to risk everything for us, Mc. I promise I’ll come back, I swear.” I placed a kiss on his forehead then gently placed mine against his. His eyes started to get teary just like mine did. “what if you don’t, Shin, I don’t want my life if it isn’t with you. I need you in it.” It was the moment I sensed something wrong, something terrible. But I won’t let anything or anyone tear us apart. Even if I have to fight god, I will fight god and then get back to him. “I will. I know I broke a lot of our promises but this isn’t one of them. This one, this one time, I won’t.”

2 week passed.

Regret. The only thing in my mind now is regret. The sound of a bullet coming out of my enemy’s gun brings me back to where I am. “FUCK” I roll back to a box close to me to hide from the bullets. I won’t be able to make this time. Only if I didn’t leave him or at least if I didn’t promise I’ll come back. I fucking said that I will come back no matter what. I fucking said that shit. Now I don’t even know if I will survive for another minute. “take that you piece of shit.” My body raises up from a box I hid in and fire bullets at my enemy. I quickly hide myself behind that box again. My body is too tired. I grasping for breath as think of a way to end this. “one of us will die Shinji. Maybe two of us. You know that.” He yelled from afar. “you are the one who made tons shit of enemy. And this will be the last of you. But don’t worry,” he pauses and laughing out. “I won’t let your husband lives alone. I’ll take a good care of him. Good fucking care.” It’s like a hand grenade waiting for someone to pull the pin. And that bastard just pulls it. “GO FUCKING DIE” It’s the moment where I couldn’t control myself anymore. I just walking right to him while shooting a gun non-stop at his direction. He hides quick enough but at least he got some bullet in his damn body. One of the gun I use run out of bullet, I throw it away and use the other one. He’s right, it’s him or me. But if I don’t make it out here alive, He’s going down with me.

I get closer to him enough to shot him in the face.

BANG

Everything goes quiet. Almost soundless except there is this dripping sound. The faint smell of iron starting to linger in the air. My enemy’s body is falling to the ground. Same as my knees. But I can’t die hear, not yet. I won’t let him down again. “Mcquinn… I.. I’ll… come back…” I drag my weak body up on my feet again while using my hands to cover all the blood on me.

Eventually I’m in my car. Maybe it’s adrenaline that still keep me alive even I’m horribly injured. Is it miracle? Is it god? I don’t know nor I care. I have to stay alive until I meet him again. As soon as the car’s engine starts, I drive as fast as I could to get back home. Blood still dripping off my paunch. Car’s seat blotted by my blood all over it. My breath keep getting more sparse. But I’m almost there Mcquinn, please wait for me.

I rushed to the door as I heard a familiar car’s sound. That’s him. It has to be him. My heart was pounding hard like it was trying to escape from my body. I reached out to the doorknob and opened it. “Shin, you’re bac-“before I could finish that sentence Shinji fell on me when I opened the door. “Hey… see? I didn’t break our promise this time, Mc. I told you Mcquinn, I will come back… to you” Tear came out of my eyes. I should’ve fight, beg or anything just to let him stay. It was all my fault. “no, no, no, don’t die on me Shinji. I can’t lose you.” Our house was reverberated by my sobbing voice. I hardly formed a word out of my mouth. “I won’t let you die on me. I’ll call an ambulance. Please stay awake love, we still have time.” Shinji placed his strong hand on my face. He patted it slowly and said “No, Mc. Listen to me… I’m sorry but I know I won’t make it.. We both know. But thank you for loving me. You know it in your heart for the very first day we decided to get married, that you are marrying a hexed man. I’m cursed. But you still choose me, choose to fight beside me. I know that not even once that you think you will leave me or give up on me. I don’t deserve you..” I let out an ugly, loud cried. “You’re not cursed Shinji. You’re the sunshine in my life, you bring a reason for me to live. You made me become a better person. So please don’t think of yourself or us like that.” He let out a little laugh. I placed my hand on his even though my hands were shaking. All parts in my body were shaking. I felt I could lose him at any moment. And that moment is nearly coming. “You are the reason I want to live and become a better man too. Your handsome voice makes my world shine brighter every time I hear it. Will you remember that I love you. I will always love you. I’m not going anywhere Mc. I’m in here, this house, in our garden and I know you will keep me safe in your heart.” He smiled at me. I moved closer to him to placed a gentle kiss. “I love you too. Always will.” I kept saying how much I love him over and over again.

“…..”

And then there was nothing.

His breath stopped.

He couldn’t hold his hand on mu face any longer. It fell onto the ground.

There was no sound, or any sign of a human being.

A part of me died with him that day. And a part of him, stay alive in me.

I wake up to see a man in front of me “SHIT, MOVE.” I shout as I see a person wearing a white coat walking on the road. I try to move my car to the side but it isn’t fast enough to not hit that man. I heard a crashing sound for two times. My car hit him and then I hit a tree from the side road. The smell of blood spreads over my car. I try my best to come out of my car to check on that man but couldn’t feel my legs or arms. Is this what you felt back then Shin? Are we going to meet soon?

But I know. I know I won’t. It’s not my time yet. But why? Why it wasn’t me who die that day? Why is it that I’m still alive after this crash? And I might just took an innocent man’s life. Is it god’s punishment for not believing in him? Fuck, fuck god. Where were him when Shinji was dying. Where were him to let that man got hit by me. Shinji, What should I do?

I hear is a siren sound and my vision slowly getting blacker and blacker. A single tear left my eyes.

—————————————

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sosadz · 2 years

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Why is there a lack of south terano fics on tumblr🤨 Ik homeboy has nun but air in that bun but he needs more fics for fine self‼️

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sosadz · 3 years

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a dilf is not a dilf if he’s shitty to his children

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sosadz · 3 years

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The consequences of loving you

Hisoka x f!reader

1136 word

warning(s) - angst, unrequited love?, cheating

You knew he wouldn’t leave her for you. You knew it with your whole heart. But how could you resist his charm? Right, you couldn’t. So you agreed to be his secret. Agreed to be his second. All of the pain, just so you can call him yours for like, 4 hours.

You senses a scent of gum going through your nose, along with that chalky-skin arms creeping on your waist. Well, there he is.

“what takes you so long?” You asked knowing the answer already. ‘Try shut your mouth next time, Y/n.’ You thought.

His aura changed, but it quickly went back to normal. “you know I’m a busy man~ ❤︎” He said while pushing his mouth onto your neck. You let him plays with you like you’re just a toy. How pathetic.

He always sneaks out and meet you at this lake on late night. Just to talk and make out sometimes. It all started because of that one particular night. you were drunk and so was he. You and him had sex, you found out he already has a girlfriend, he asked you to be with him and you couldn’t say no. That’s it.

“what’s wrong?” He must notice that you’re not playing along with him today. Well, you’re tired. It’s exhausting how you have to hide how hurt you were when you faced his girlfriend. You know you could never be the one he loves. Sure, sex was great. But the guilty and the pain is chasing you up to your throat now. It’s only the matter of time, when you can’t take it anymore and puke all of it out.

“nothing, I’m a little bit tired. Let’s just cuddle.” You turn your face to him. Your heart aches as you look into his eyes. You hope you could own all of him to yourself. But it’s hopeless.

He nods and suddenly lifted me up. I flinched a bit but after I realized he’s taking me under the tree to cuddle I shove my face into his chest. Smelling all the scent you’re addicted to. One of many reasons why you can’t leave him no matter how hard you try.

He reached the tree and slowly lets you down to the ground. I watch he sitting next to me. The moon and the sky’s color combined into a gloomy purple though it’s still satisfying for you to watch. The purple meets his pale skin. You couldn’t take your eyes off his skin. His skin is more beautiful as ever.

“saw something interesting~ ❤︎?” He looks right into my eyes and smirk.

“ugh, you don’t have to be so full of yourself all the time you know that?” You weren’t sure why you haven’t leave him yet according to his personality that makes you irritating almost every minute when you are with him.

“well I-“ Before he could finish his sentence his phone is ringing. “I have to get this~” He picks up his phone. You know who’s calling him. Obviously, his girl. How did you know? Just look at his eyes. It’s full of enchantment and love. those invisible sparkles that appears in his eyes just from one quick looking at the phone. Who could made him be like that if it wasn’t his girlfriend.

“I’m out for a mission, don’t wait for me~ good night” Then he hung up the phone. You don’t really hate her. How could you hate her when you’re the one having an affair with her boyfriend? You’re the one who deserves hate. That’s what you always thought.

He knows that you know but he just ignore it like every time. His strong arms brings me closer to hug. You and him stayed in that position for half an hour. It’s quiet as if there’s only you and him in this world. A peaceful night, but inside you is about to explode. When you’re with him you’re happy but in the other hand, you didn’t only feel the feeling of happiness. You feel jealousy, guilty, sadness and lust.

There is one thing you’ve always been wondering.

“why did you have me when you love her?” You accidentally slipped that question. It supposed to be in your mind only. ‘fuck, the answer is going to hurt me somehow.’ you said in your head.

“why would you want to know?

“I didn’t mean to ask so just let it slid-“

“it’s okay. I wanted to answer.” He smirks. He knows his answer is going to hurt you. He loved to see you hurt. His brain doesn’t work the same way as normal people, perhaps. He said it’s cute when you’re sad. And here you are letting him hurt you again.

“maybe it’s because I love you.” Your heart immediately dropped. “You know~ us people can love more than one person at a time.”

“Then wh-“ He cuts you off by placing his index finger on your lips.

“I haven’t finished yet~ ❤︎” I close my mouth and wait for him to finish as he said. “I couldn’t leave her because I love her too. More than I love you maybe.”

You really shouldn’t had asked him. And maybe it’s time to leave. It might hurt you for awhile but in the end you’ll eventually move on. Right?

“what if I decided to leave?” You push yourself out of him arms and look up at him. You saw a slight look of sadness in him. But it was quickly gone.

“you already know the answer love~❤︎” Yeah, true. But you asked him for a reason.

“Just answer.” You said trying your best not to let out a single tear drops. You have to force yourself out of it if you want to stop all these chaotic relationship.

“I would let you go.” He simply answered. No playful tone in his voice. He means it.

As much as you wanted to stay, you couldn’t take it anymore. You gather every dignity even if there’s none left in you, you gathered it an standing up. You turn around to face him. He still sitting in the same position, not making any single move. So you turn back to the path you chose, continue to walk away from where your heart belongs to.

You’re half way through now. And you stop walking, hoping you would hear a word from him but no, he didn’t say a word. So you leave without even looking back. Without saying goodbye.

Only if he asked you to stay. If he said ‘stay’ you would swallow all your pride and walk back to him. It’s such a shame that you will never get a chance to do all the things you wanted to do with him again.

But this is for the best.

We weren’t meant to be.

#fanfic #fiction #ao3 #reader insert #romance #angst #hisoka #hisoka morow #hisoka morrow x reader #hisoka x reader #x reader #hxh #hunter x hunter #hisoka x you #hisoka x y/n #y/n

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sosadz · 3 years

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I still don’t know how to use this app HELP

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sosadz · 3 years

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Double suicide or it wasn’t love

Dazai x f!reader

warning(s) - Suicide, death, mild angst??

654 words

you were lying on the rooftop with Dazai. You felt the wind touching all over your face, your body. It was kind of cold. Dazai noticed that and decided to grabbed your hand and put it in his coat's pocket. After awhile he turned to you and gave you a tight hug. Buried his head in your neck.

"do you really want to do this with me, y/n?" he mumbled while his head still buried in your neck.

"why did you suddenly doubt me?" you glanced your eyes to him. Played with his soft brown hair a bit. He looked up at you and sighed.

"because you could have just live your live and be happy without me. Sure, you might hurt from me commit suicide but you'll move on and be happy one day and-" you cut him off with a passionate kiss. He was shocked at first but he kissed you back once he felt comfortable. You broke a kiss just to see his blurry eyes full of tears.

"one, I'd never be able to move on from you. Two, you know how I feel about this, me, your girlfriend, who couldn't be the one who make you leave your suicide thought."

"please don't think of it like that I-" I shushed him before I continued.

"you know it's true, Dazai. I learned to accept that. And I already spent almost all my life with you. It's enough for me to die without any regret. Especially when I get to die with you." You felt something wet dropped on your left hand. It was his tear. You held his face with your both hands and kissed him where the tears running from his eyes.

"don't cry silly, let's make our last night of our life be memorable." you stood up and held out your hand to him. He grabbed your hand and stood beside you.

"I love you, y/n. Thank you for loving me the way no one ever could." He smiled and placed a kiss on your lips. You kissed him back and suddenly you tasted something salty. You were crying. This is the best kiss you ever got in your life. The most meaningful one, the most passionate and the one that made you felt happiest.

"I love you too." you said after he broke a kiss from you and walked toward the edge of the rooftop. You turned around and smiled at him. He walked to you, facing the same way as you and put his hand into yours.

"if there's really a hell, since I know we both won't make it into heaven." he chuckled.

"what-" you looked at him in confusion.

"I'd go through hell just to met you again." he squeezed your hand as a sign to let you know that he was ready.

"dumbass." you blushed and squeezed his hand back.

you both stepped back and fell from the building. It was fast but at that moment, it felt like forever to you and to him as well. You felt like you were deaf, you couldn't hear anything except a sound of you and Dazai talking to each other in your head. It was so loud that you thought it wasn't just in your head. But you still felt the touch of his hand. You closed your eyes and smiled.

Thanks for all the happiness you gave to me, Dazai Osamu. I will find you again if there really is a next life waiting for us.

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sosadz · 3 years

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Let me go

Shigaraki x f!reader

warning(s) - fluff to angst, death, cursing, yelling

1788 words

"Hey, wake the fuck up." I slowly opened my eyes, trying to adjust the light that went through my eyes as I opened them. When I finally did it, I saw a man with blue hair standing next to me. The man I loved most. I yawned and getting myself off my bed.

"Why are you waking me up at-" I cut myself off and looked at my phone. "fucking 2 in the morning" I said while moving my hand to his head and playing with his hair a bit. Yes, he might looks like he haven't showered for his whole life but he actually showered and his hair was so soft.

"I- tsk, I just wanted to show you something so shut up and follow me." He lended me his hand so I grabbed it and let him led me to whatever the place he wanted me to go.

He led me to the rooftop of The LOV's base. I inhaled all the air into my lungs. The wind was touching my skin. I loved how quiet the night can be. It felt like I and him are the only person in this world.

"Look." He pointed his finger up to the sky. My eyes widened a bit when I saw what he wanted to show me. "It's... beautiful. So I thought you might like it. Not that I care you that much or anything bu-"

I didn't waste more time to let him finish his sentence that full of lies and covered his lips with mine. He flinched a bit but relaxing after he realized what was happening. I use my other hand that wasn't holding him to grab his face softly and used my thumb to stroke his cheek.

After a minute that seemed like an hour, we broke a kissed to take a breath. I slid my hands around his waist and pulled him close. He gently stroked my hair and hugged me back.

"Thank you." I mumbled the word and shoved my face onto his neck. "I don't care what other people say. Because to me, you're the cutest man on earth, Shiggy."

"Stop calling me by that stupid nickname." He said while his hands was still stroking my hair. "Let's sit and watch this damn sky. I didn't stole your sleep time just for you to hug me." He rolled his eyes.

"Okay okay" I sat next to him, leaned my head on his shoulder and glanced my eyes to the sky above us.

"You know I love you right? I know I acted like an asshole but.." My eyebrows knotted together not knowing why did he suddenly talked like that.

"I know. I know you like the back of my hands. I know how much you love me" I answered and decided to ask him the reason he said that to me. "Why?"

"Nothing. Just thought I should make sure you knew." He closed his eyes. It was like he's trying to focus on remembering every second of this this moment as much as he could. So I shut my mouth and let the sound of the wind around me and him swallowed us together.

All I did hear was our breathing sound, the way our heart raced in peace and the sound of the wind. It was a peaceful night. We both didn't mind how quiet it was. It's a comfortable silence for us, always.

I started to sense how my body was asking for a sleep so I moved my body to the other way and laid my head on his lap. I looked up to his face I always admired. He wasn't smiling but I knew he would never mind me sleeping on his lap. My eyes slowly shut by itself but I can see a little sadness in his red eyes, it was so beautiful, almost like the color of a good wine Kurogiri kept in his bar. I remembered when I and Dabi wanted to stole those wines together and asked Tomura to be the one who look out for us. Of course he rejected our request, but I brought him with us anyway.

I wanted to ask him why, why did I see the sadness in his eyes. Those eyes that used to be filled with happiness when he was around me. Why was it filled with sadness now? He might good with hiding it but as I said, I knew him like the back of my hands.

But my body won't let me stayed up any longer, so my mind lazily brought itself into the darkness as I closed my eyes.

I woke up after I sensed something moving away from my head. I saw Tomura was about to walk away so I quickly stood up. I heard a ringing sound in my head from standing up too quick but I ignored it and grabbed his wrist as fast as I could.

"Where are you going?" I asked. Maybe he just didn't want to wake me up but where was he about to go? Was anything happened when I was sleeping? Heroes? But deep down in my heart was telling me it was something else, something even worse than all of the reasons I made up inside my own little thought.

"Do you remember the day we first met?" He asked without looking at my eyes but instead he looked up to the sky and his lips curled up. "You and me. Looking like a mess in front of each other. I just killed a hero and you just killed your best friend because of your quirk. We both were a disaster."

"I do remember. But what's going on? Why-" He cut me off by pushing his wrist out of my hand lightly. His eyes showed the sorrow in it more and more. As if he couldn't hide it from me anymore. But there was another little thing in his eyes too. Hope. There was a hope in his red eyes.

"I love every single second we had spent together, Y/n. I appreciated the way your hands were always so gentle when you touched my hair or my face, the way you looked at me like I'm your one and only hero- no, not hero." He paused for a moment and frowned like he was thinking what word he should use.

"Ah- yes, like I'm your one and only villain that light up your whole world. And when we were arguing you were always being patient with me. Not even once that you didn't trust me." I looked at him in confusion. He has never been like this before, this isn't him at all. This whole night was getting too bizarre. I wanted to ask him what's going on but I wouldn't get the answer after all.

"You made me realize how valuable am I when I'm with you. I didn't even believe I'm worth enough to have someone like you at first." He scratched his neck but not too rough before he continued his word.

"I know how much you love me, Y/n. And I love you too. You are the greatest thing that ever happened in my life. I'm yours too. I know." I sealed my lips immediately when he said he knows. Right, I'm not the only one who knows him so well. He knew me too. He knew I was looking for a timing to interrupt him.

"And as much as I love you. You need to let it go, Y/n." I gave him a questionable look on my face.

"What the actual fuck you're trying to say Tomura? Letting what go?" The anger buildup inside me. Knowing nothing made me curious and also furious. But a little voice at the bottom of my heart was getting louder. Deep down I know, I know what he meant.

"I want you to be happy. I want to see your smile again, I want to see your eyes filled with hope again." He turned to me and cupped my face with both of his hands. He pulled me closer until we were inches apart. Just like that, his lips touched mine. I can tasted the sorrow and guilt on his lips. I kissed him back with no hesitation even though I had no idea what was all the cause.

"take a good care of yourself. You can do it. Everyone's waiting for you. Remember I love you and only you."

"Wha- wait! What's going on Tomura? What are you doing? At least tell me what's going on!!" I shouted at him. I couldn't maintain the anger inside me anymore so I let it all out.

"You already knew what's going on. You just need to accept it." He had never been like this. He was so calm, too calm. He usually got all frustrated and yelled back at me. But this time, he was as calm as those clouds above my head.

"No! I don't know what the fuck is going on!! Why can't you just told me?!" My voice was shaking just like my palms. The tears running right down on my cheeks.

He hugged me tight without a single word.

"It's okay, you will be okay my sunshine. I have to go now. Don't cry, okay?" My heart ached from his word. The voice in the darkest part of my heart was loud and clear after what he said to me.

"Don't cry. Be happy for me okay? I believe in you." He kissed my forehead one last time and slowly loosen his hands out of my body. He gave me the warmest smile I ever saw from him.

And he walked away, just like that.

I counted the steps as he walked away,

One, two, three, four, five-

Where are you going? No, come back. No, please, stay with me. Please... turn around and walk back to me. Please...

But what a shame that he didn't even turned his head to see me again.

I fell on my knees, screaming, punching the floor. I kept hearing the voice louder and louder. The voice that I locked it down so I couldn't hear it. The voice that took everything from me.

The voice that told me every single night of my life. The voice in my heart that said

"He's gone."

Every scenarios of that day came through my head like a disaster. I remembered everything. His blood, his shiver voice that said 'I love you, don't cry' even though his body was fulled with wounds and blood.

I couldn't escape it anymore.

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sosadz · 3 years

Text

Last Mimosa

Adult!Reborn x F!reader

warning(s) - blood, death, angst, hanahaki au

this is my first post on this app and I still couldn’t figure out how tumblr works lol I hope you guys enjoy

1,637 words

You still remember the feeling when you first realized you love this man. It has been the same since day one. The way he acted like he didn't care, but secretly looked out for you in his own way. The way he sat in the chair of his apartment, admiring the view, slowly sipping his espresso. The way he walked with that charming look of his, the look that make legs go weak. His black eyes that look so cold yet so ravishing. You love all of that. All of him.

You had never accepted the fact that you love this man until a strange flower petal immersed out of your mouth. A mimosa flower.

The deepest secret from the bottom of your heart had revealed itself. One that you had never wanted to acknowledge yourself.

'A Mimosa... What a coincidence.' You sarcastically joke. The Mimosa's meaning is the conjuration of secret love. No one knows that I love you, not even myself until now.

'Is this a blessing or a curse - the Hanahaki disease?'

You and Reborn have enjoyed each other's company and you both like each other, but only in a platonic way. However, this platonic relationship is only one-sided, as you love him romantically. You had made a promise to yourself to never tell him about your feelings, since you didn't want to ruin this precious friendship.

Following your usual routine, you stopped by his office to greet him as always. Whenever you were with him the Hanahaki disease didn't act up much, so you just assumed everything was going to be okay.

You entered the building and walked into his office. There was nothing but a comfortable silence, accompanied by the sound of a coffee machine running and the smell of coffee. Of course it was espresso - just how he liked it. You opened the door to greet him.

"Reborn I-" you felt something coming from your throat. Reborn's gaze turned to you immediately after he heard your voice.

'Maybe I should stop assuming things'

Before he could answer or ask you anything, you quickly ran away from him while trying your best not to let any of the petals fall from your mouth. You felt something wet dripping down your cheeks. Your heart ached, but you had to run away as far as you could. He can't know about your secret, your disease.

When you had reached the rooftop of the building, you let all the petals you had kept inside your mouth flow out. Your heart ached, your mouth started to get dry, your throat was sore and all you could hear was nothing but a constant ringing. It was like your whole body reset itself. Your vision was blurry and you couldn't concentrate on anything but the pain you were feeling.

After thirty minutes, you began to feel better. You wiped away the remaining blood and petals from your mouth and off your clothes.

"Y/n" You heard someone speaking behind you. You knew damn well whose voice that belonged to.

"Oh, I'll be back in a minute don't worry." You tried your best to make your voice sound like you were okay, convincing him that there was nothing wrong. You quickly hid all the fallen petals in your shirt but it was too late. He was the world's best hitman, how could you lie to him without him knowing? You wish he would ignore the fact that you lied to him and just wait for you in his office.

And he did.

He nodded slowly and walked away from you, giving you the privacy you had wished for.

'Why do I feel like this?' You asked yourself. Weren't you supposed to be relieved that he did as you wished for? Why do your eyes feel so warm and watery? Why were you feeling so disappointed? It was like a million knives were stabbed into your heart, but instead it was the Mimosa flower.

Reborn actually knew. He knew everything. He knew you were suffering from the Hanahaki disease, and he knew you were throwing up on the rooftop. He knew that you lied to him. He tried his best to find out who was responsible for causing you to get this disease. He was the world's best hitman, but why can't he find the person you love and help you?

How could he ever find out,

When that person was him all along?

A few days after the incident you decided to visit Reborn again at his office. You stepped inside without knocking. It was just how it was. He always knew it was you who came inside, so he didn't even have to look.

"I just stopped by to say hi and maybe get some free coffee" You jokingly said to him followed by a chuckle. You were desperate to hide all of the sadness blooming inside your chest.

He didn't say anything but handed you a cup of coffee from his table that he had already prepared for you. You took it and gave him a playful smile.

'Maybe I'd stopped loving you if you stopped being so nice to me, Reborn.' You thought to yourself.

"I won't be here for a week, just to let you know." He said while looking at the sky next to him. You knew how much he admired those views. You walked next to him and looked the same way.

"Want me to take care of your office for you?" You asked sarcastically. You knew he never wanted you to take care of his office because he knows you are a mess, and would give him a headache when he came back from his mission.

"As if." He rolled his eyes and adjusted his hat.

"Alright, I'm going to go now. See ya!" You said, putting your now empty cup on his table and walked out from his office. After the door had closed, your whole body started shaking. You were afraid he was going to figure out what was going on with you.

You took time gathering yourself to stand properly again, and walked out from the building.

'I don't have much time left, and I don't think I will last until the time when he comes back. I should find a way to let him know I died happily.' You thought as you let out a deep sigh.

A week later,

Reborn came back just to find you laying in your bed, dressed in the most beautiful way possible. In fact, you were always beautiful. There were Mimosas all over your bed, covering your mouth all the way to your body. Your eyes were closed shut. He was too late. Reborn fell onto his knees, lifted one of your hands to his face and kissed it softly. He felt the warmth in his eyes, and his vision was getting more and more blurry.

Looking over to his right, he saw a letter on your drawer next to your bed. His name was written on it. Although his hands were still shaking uncontrollably, he made his way to your letter and opened it.

Dear Reborn,

Reborn, you know... I really appreciate our friendship. You have made me smile, laugh or even be mad. But in a good way, don't worry. I know you are the world's best hitman but please be careful and take care of yourself. Try drinking a lot of water, not just coffee.

Please know that I died while I was being happy. You have probably already figured out by now what the cause of my death was, and if you figure out who's the reason I got this disease, don't blame him. Be kind to him. All I ever want is for him to be happy because that makes me happy too.

You are a good friend of mine, Reborn.

You always will be. No one could ever replace you. But if someone ever replaces me, that's okay.

I won't be mad at you.

I hope you will remember me. And whenever you ever think of me, I hope it will be the time where I smile or laugh. I don't look nice when I'm crying or sleeping so... Don't.

I will always be with you -

in the skies you had always admired,

in the smell of your espresso.

If you aren't happy I will know.

So be happy. For me.

I love you, Reborn.

Y/n, L/n

He cried, for the first time. The world's best hitman cried, uncontrollably. The grief of losing someone precious to him was too much to handle.

He loved her,

And he couldn't stand seeing her get hurt.

If only he had realized it sooner, you wouldn't be here. Laying in your bed without your soul. You could be happy together with him by your side. He could have helped you, but he didn't. Instead, he spent his entire week going on a stupid mission. The purpose of the mission was actually to find a cure for the Hanahaki disease that you were suffering from. He wanted to save you, and he was so close to doing so. He was so blinded by the end goal that he didn't take into account your current situation. You slipped right through his fingers.

Reborn felt something sharp piercing his heart.

Something was about to come out from his throat.

He coughed.

A white petal came out of his mouth.

It was a Lily petal.

He picked it up and looked into it for a minute and thought: 'A Lily. I wonder if this disease chose a specific flower for me. Is this what you've been feeling this entire time, Y/n?'

He kissed your lips for the last time. But sadly, you never got the chance to kiss him back.

Not anymore.

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