#like i think whats really interesting about the fears being in a new universe is that theres no real history attached to them yet
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I think a lot about the way Dorian used to see Cyrus as the perfect older brother, the perfect prince; the way Dorian felt free to go and find himself because Cyrus was capable and dependable and ready to be a leader. That isn’t the Cyrus we see! But I think it’s a lot more interesting, for both Cyrus and Dorian, to take that seriously. They’re princes, and we don’t know what that means because we haven’t seen their home, but socially a court is an elaborately constructed farce. And of course it can be easier to be competent in any familiar environment, but I also think it’s easier to know how you fit within a court environment specifically because there is an overwhelming number of factors to define yourself against and they all have expectations of you, and if they aren’t suffocating you like some kind of spider’s web then it might be perfect, like being a star in a constellation, or just the right puzzle piece. I think it’s reasonable to think that Cyrus was something like who Dorian thought he was, at home; except that Cyrus, like Dorian, wanted to choose the things he’s defining himself against. And I think it’s meaningful that he got swindled in the immediate aftermath of discarding that constellation of puzzle pieces. He was a fool (beloved), but it happened in the first blush of freedom, when he was just starting to figure out who he was or wanted to be without all that defined expectation, which is also - not coincidentally - the state Dorian was in when the spider queen sunk her fingers into his heart and twisted his alignment. The ‘hello world! uh oh’ of it all is something they had in common.
(Something they both had in common with Opal, too.)
I do think it’s interesting to look at Dorian’s sense of responsibility in light of this. I almost think Orym was a kind of north star for Dorian through parts of EXU prime, and I ship them, but it really felt like one of the things that made him able to reject the spider queen is that Orym needed him to. I think he wanted to be someone Orym could rely on, but I think Orym’s regard mattered to him because they genuinely had that protective urge in common - the pathway the spider queen used to skitter in was Dorian’s desire to protect his friends. And that drive to protect added a lot of poignancy to the in-universe reason that Dorian couldn’t return to bell’s hells after Cyrus’s debts were repaid, not just because Cyrus was still getting his legs under him but also because Opal needed help. That’s responsibility, again - he’s finishing what they started. Duty, obligation, but this time he’s chosen who and what he’s beholden to. Like maybe he’s chosen a new version of a puzzle piece that he might have thought he was throwing out entirely when he chose freedom and walked away from home.
I loved that Fearne’s vision also haunted Dorian; he misses her, and it also feels like a solid way to illustrate the spider queen’s effect on Dorian, that the danger of his own corruption has rarely been something he had the luxury to think about. His friends have always needed him. I don’t know if he had time to process his aborted fall during his time in Zephrah, or if there’s still something underneath, but I think it’s telling that this fear doesn’t look like Opal, the one literally bleeding ichor from her forehead; it predates that, it started before Opal was the one to worry about.
And I think he knows he didn’t fail them - Cyrus, Opal, Fy’ra - accidental thunder damage notwithstanding - but, with the way he felt through that suggestion spell and its aftermath, I don’t really know what to make of his abandoning Dariax. It’s a little hard to look at that and not see a drive to isolate. Determined to leave him with a good memory, but most of all, to leave. He started that one-shot interlude having just admitted to himself that he was longing to be Somewhere Else, but I almost wonder if he still would have gone back to bell’s hells if Orym hadn’t asked.
(God, the suggestion spell. The way they processed it was hurtful to me personally. Dariax immediately shifting from ‘won’t leave Opal!’ to ‘let’s go! Opal has a plan’ kind of broke my heart, and I actually think that the spell could have worked on Dorian by just making what was really happening feel reasonable - the last shred of your friend is trying to save you, and you can’t save her from anything except becoming your murderer, so you should do that. But the spell can’t make sense out of abandoning Cyrus’s body, so Dorian just goes numb with grief and rage. Mass suggestion is 24 hours. That is 24 hours of numbness, and rage, and walking, and walking, and walking, and every once in awhile Dariax’s voice, friendly and steady and sure, ‘Opal has a plan.’ And at the end of it the ability to feel returns, but he’s so tired, and he hurts, and everything hurts too much to think about, and poor Dariax probably stops in his tracks, just ‘Dorian? What was Opal’s plan?’)
And he really was so angry. It’s interesting to wonder if that’s still under the surface. He immediately turned to levity - for their sake, and his own - but that moment where the group tells him who killed Will and Derrig, and Robbie instantly wrote down Otohan’s name, didn’t just read like a player taking notes, to me, it read like Dorian putting a name in a ledger. I think it’s easy to let that go because he learns that she’s dead in the very next moment, but I think Dorian felt a weird kind of relief for that half-second, because so much of his anger at what happened to Cyrus and Opal was from being forced to acknowledge that there wasn’t anyone easy to blame, except perhaps a god; and blaming a god is like blaming the universe. What a relief, however short lived, to be faced with a problem you can solve.
#critical role#exandria unlimited#dorian storm#crown keepers#here’s me with my king lear court fool feels#the way nothing that depends on structure works anymore once you break out of it#unless and until you make your own#and my continuing fascination with dorian’s self-conscious but achingly sincere attempt at self invention#performance as a kind of honesty#i do wonder what this could mean for dorian when all this is over#i hope he only goes home if it’s something he wants#i want him to have what he wants#(orym)
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ive had many Thoughts about tmagp but i feel reluctant to share any of them since i feel silly trying to speculate about a show that barely even has any episodes and tbh i think im justified in this bc last week i was gonna post like "i wonder if the fears only started manifesting in the protocol universe around/after 2018 since all the incidents so far happened in 2022 👀" and then this week we immediately got an incident from 2009 -_-
#kinda had a feeling that was the case anyway (which is why i Didnt post it) since only having a span of like 5ish yrs#that incidents could possibly take place could be super limiting but like....i still am wondering when manifestations started#my bet is that is was probably when/around the time the magnus institute burned down (why the fears went into The Past of this universe#also has me 🤔) which tbh im hoping for bc i feel like if its much earlier than that then its just sort of. stupid#like i think whats really interesting about the fears being in a new universe is that theres no real history attached to them yet#the oldest avatars have only been around for like a couple of decades at this point. what few cults/groups there might be are very new#nobody knows shit about fuck yet and theres so much potential for how things go. and thats just so much more#compelling imo than 'oops! all established groups and people and frameworks!' again#blathering#got on a bit of a ramble sorry. like i said i have a Lot of thoughts. none coherent of course lol
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Lmao my TikTok was too long to upload here so I’m just gonna retype it all out
Chester and Norris: Are they really Jon and Martin?
Wrong question imo! The BETTER question is: How MUCH of Jon and Martin are Chester and Norris?
The fact is these programs have SOME link to Jon and Martin, Jonny and Alex would not be voicing them otherwise, so what it comes down to is how much of a link?
Because it could be that it’s ONLY their voices. Annabelle explained to Jon that the tapes belonged to the Web, and that by “taking his voice” Jon was therefore bound to the Web and the other fears by extension. It’s entirely possible that when the Fears left Archives’ universe, they brought Jon (and Martin as he was also on the tapes) voices over with them, but JUST the voices. Nothing else. It’s just a coat of paint over the entities methods of collection, Chester and Norris aren’t Jon and Martin anymore than glasses are the person wearing them
But I’m not sure that’s the case. There’s a lot of holes there. The main one being: why? If it is just hollow voices, then why? What’s the purpose of the fears using them? It’s only been two episodes, so it might be answered later, but let’s talk about the second possibility
Chester and Norris ARE Jon and Martin, they just aren’t aware. When Martin “cut the tether” in episode 200, he didn’t cut the Fears away from Jon, he cut the Fears away from the world and at that point, as the Pupil of the Eye, Jon was part of the fears. Since Martin was in the panopticon when they went, he went too.
And now we have a disembodied Jon and Martin existing in a dazed but still hungry state. They seek out whatever’s familiar and since there’s no Magnus Institute, they go to the OIAR, get into their system, and read out any “real” statements they can find. Feeding off of them.
In this possibility, Jon and Martin are effectively asleep. They aren’t aware of what they’re doing really, just going by their new instincts/nature. But I think the more they feed, the more conscious they’ll become, and we’ll start to Chester and Norris break script. Stutter over a word. Add words. Things that a text to speech program simply CAN’T do even if glitched to shit
What complicates this possibility is the fact that Alice said they only showed up a year ago when it’s implied the OIAR has existed much longer than that as well as the fears in this world. It could be they move from place to place feeding off what they can, and when that’s bled dry, they move somewhere else? If they’re as intertwined with the fears as this theory implies, they could exist across infinite universes, staying alive like this
I’m not sure! It’s super interesting tho. I think the saddest ending would be if it’s never really answered, and Jon becomes, at least in some ways, a mystery
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Daddy Issues (Part One)
Pairing: Dominant!Cillian Murphy & Shy!Reader (& Jamie Dornan)
Warning: Smut, BDSM, Daddy Kink, 4-Somes, 3-Somes, Sugar Baby Arrangements
Summary: Through your best friend, you meet actor Cillian Murphy and come to some kind of arrangement involving intimacy in exchange for being spoiled financially.
Written with: my beautiful wife @darkshelbyfiction
Ever since school, Emma had been your best friend and now that you were both in your early twenties, and studied law at the prestigious Oxford university, nothing really changed.
Your friendship had grown even stronger despite differences in personalities – you being introverted and reserved, she boldly exploring her newfound independence.
Emma was always full of surprises - from her unexpected move to New York City without telling anyone and then coming back six months later, to now referring to herself as Jamie Dornan's sugar baby when you were on your own while, otherwise, keeping it discreet.
When alone with you, she would often talk about having "intimate encounters" with him and sometimes even others, keeping you amused while leaving you curious about what exactly happens behind closed doors. You were often thinking about 50 Shades of Gray, spiking your curiosity, although Emma assured you that it was nothing like that.
When talking to Emma and her sugar baby experience, it felt like one day she decided to break all boundaries – whether social or moral – as if embracing freedom beyond comprehension. Despite her brazen behavior, deep down inside, she still cared deeply about your opinion which made things interesting when discussing such topics together over coffee late into the night, sitting among the humming crowd of the cozy London Cafe.
The coffee shop filled up quickly around lunchtime, making it harder for Emma to continue sharing stories confidentially.
You eventually moved outside underneath the shade of a large tree, sipping their drinks while enjoying the cool evening air. Again, your conversation turned towards the subject of sex which was something your life was lacking.
To you only, Emma often opened up about her time spent with Jamie, the man who had become what she calls her "sugar daddy".
Their relationship was nothing serious and it was that, just after his messy and rather public divorce, he sought solace in younger women whom he could provide financial stability for. In return, they agreed upon fulfilling his needs discreetly and you knew that Emma was not the only one.
As she shared more explicit details of their sessions, which she only did with you, the way she spoke became increasingly sensuous. She had fun, it seemed, and it was just last week that she had engaged in her first ever threesome with Jamie and another man.
"A threesome, with two men?" you asked incredulously, gripped with curiosity as she mentioned it for the first time that day. You only ever had sex with one man, and it was nothing short of boring to say the least.
"Yes. Jamie had a friend over, and it just happened. It wasn't really planned. But we had lots of fun and probably too much to drink as well" she giggled seductively, leaning forward slightly as if divulging a juicy secret. The sunlight reflected off her soft skin causing her silhouette to waver rhythmically against the foliage behind her.
"Uhm, okay..." you began. "So who was the guy? Was he an actor too?" You queried, genuinely intrigued.
"Yes, he is an actor too, but I really shouldn't talk about this." Her tone implied reluctance to share further details.
Curiosity peaked, you probed, "But come on, tell me! Who is he? You know I won't tell!"
She hesitated before speaking again, seemingly caught between excitement and fear. "His name is Cillian," she finally revealed, and your chin dropped.
"It's not Cillian Murphy though, is it?" you clarified, thinking of the renowned Irish actor who portrayed one of your favourite TV characters, namely Thomas Shelby.
"Jepp," she replied simply, confirming your suspicion.
"Oh my god...Cillian Murphy? Is he actually single enough to do that kind of thing? Like wow..." you couldn't help feeling shocked. Even considering you hadn't met him personally, there was undeniable respect and admiration attached to Cillian's image as he tried to stay out of the tabloids as much as possible.
"Well yeah, apparently he filed for divorce two weeks ago. Weird timing, right?" Emma said, looking almost surprised herself before you took up the courage to probe her with more questions.
"So, you actually had full on sex with them both? At the same time? In the same room?"
Your head swam with visions of those three intertwined bodies, imagining the erotic chaos taking place beneath the sheets. "Wasn't it weird?" you then asked. You had so many questions.
"Yes, we had sex at the same time and it was crazy," Emma admitted, smiling mischievously. "And no, it didn't feel weird at all. It was exciting, surprisingly so."
Her frankness startled you somewhat, used to living within societal norms, yet also fascinated by how freely Emma discussed these experiences. Perhaps it was because of your conservative background that she never judged your naïveté regarding intimacy.
"I mean, Cillian Murphy is pretty fucking hot, so I do not blame you," you said, catching yourself off guard with your sudden audacity.
Emma laughed lightheartedly. "You want details don't you?" Emma teased, already aware of your insatiable curiosity. Your cheeks flushed crimson in embarrassment, partly due to her keen observation, partly due to the explicit nature of our conversation.
"Yes, of course," you stammered nervously, clearing your throat. You could barely look at Emma straight in the eye anymore, instead fixating on the ground, afraid that your face might betray you completely.
"What do you want to know about?" Emma continued, unperturbed.
"Everything. All the dirty details," you confessed honestly, unable to suppress your voyeurism any longer. "I mean, did they both, you know, at the same time, you know..." you stammered, wondering whether they simply took turns or penetrated her at the same time.
"Put their dicks in me?" Emma laughed, seeing how shy and embarrassed you were, causing you to nod.
She proceeded, "Yes, eventually. They took turns first but then both of them wanted to be with me at once. At first, I thought it was a bit awkward, but after getting comfortable, it became thrilling and liberating."
You chin dropped, speechless. How could someone like Cillian Murphy be entangled in such debauchery?
"You look really shocked right now," observed Emma, watching your expression carefully. "Is it because I told you or because of who it was with?"
Though you were tempted to ask about Jamie, your mind remained fixated on Cillian. As far as you were concerned, he was practically handsome. To think he was capable of participating in these types of wild escapades was surreal.
"A bit of both," you responded, half questioning and half affirming, hoping she wouldn't sense your growing interest.
"You know, he is single and I could get Jamie to introduce you sometime, maybe. If you want to meet him," she added nonchalantly, as if suggesting dinner plans.
This left you stunned momentarily. You considered the possibility, envisioning yourself engaging in similar carnal acts.
"I don't think so, no... I mean, I am not like you," you protested timidly, attempting to regain composure.
"I think you are thinking too much about moral standards which are absurd concepts, developed by society to control people and maintain certain order," Emma chuckled, referring to your prudish nature.
"Cillian is single and he was clearly intrigued by what Jamie and I have going, because it is simple. There is no hassle. No feelings. Only pure physical satisfaction. That's the arrangement between us. No strings attached. And he takes care of me financially which is really helpful seeing that I am, just like you, a student with a huge student debt," Emma went on matter-of-factly.
"That sounds nice," you commented, trying to understand why Emma would agree to being part of such arrangements without seeking a deeper connection. "But, don't you find it degrading sometimes?"
Emma gave you a sidelong glance, understanding perfectly well where your concerns stemmed from. "No, because there is absolutely nothing wrong with having sex for personal gain, especially when consent is given mutually. Despite, I actually really enjoy the sex. It's different than anything else, more intense and raw - and I feel closer to myself afterwards. There's just something powerful about it, you know? Sometimes I wonder how long this will go on, but then I remember that as long as everyone gets what they need, nobody gets hurt. This keeps everything simple and fair game, which suits me fine.”
You listened quietly, struggling to process all the information. It was difficult to imagine Emma – sweet, innocent Emma – as someone who enjoyed these kinds of arrangements. Yet somehow, hearing her describe it made it sound logical, even reasonable.
After all, money was tight for students. If consensual adults found pleasure in such arrangements, why should anyone judge them? You understood why Jamie paid for expenses in return for sexual favors – he wanted to compensate Emma for services rendered, plain and simple. Still, you marveled at how easily she glossed over potential consequences associated with such liaisons.
She always had nice, expensive things nowadays, clothes and shoes alike and she spent most nights with him, having fun and enjoying her life.
Their lifestyle seemed enviably easy and carefree compared to yours, stuck with heavy books and a mountain of debts piled high. Maybe it was worth exploring, you mused fleetingly. Still, you knew deep down inside that this wasn't the path you wanted to take. The idea felt morally corrupt, and it terrified you.
Back in reality, however, the fact still remained that you lacked the confidence needed to approach someone like Cillian Murphy let alone sleep with him. You were too scared of rejection and failure.
It was hard to believe that someone like Cillian Murphy could ever give you the attention you desired. Besides, it wasn’t as if you would suddenly become desirable just because you slept with him. Deep down, you worried that you weren't good enough. Your insecurities consumed you. However, the more you talked to Emma, the more curious you grew. How would it feel to be with such a person? What would happen during the act itself? Would they dominate you entirely? Or perhaps be gentle? So many questions filled your mind as you tried to grasp onto reality.
"Maybe dinner would be alright. I mean, nothing bad can come from meeting new people, right?" You countered cautiously, your heart racing slightly. Meeting someone like Cillian Murphy was indeed exciting, yet nerve-wracking simultaneously.
"Right. I will organise it then!" Emma said excitedly and, to you, agreeing to meet Cillian Murphy felt monumental, almost surreal.
You couldn't help feeling excited, hopeful that he would notice you among others and throughout the night, you couldn't stop reflecting upon the encounter with Emma. Her stories sparked countless fantasies that tormented your imagination, leaving you eager to experience pleasures beyond conventional boundaries. Even though it meant facing risks and challenges outside your comfort zone, the prospect of indulging in passionate encounters captivated you.
After all, hadn't dreaming been harmless until it turned into reality? Confronting your fears allowed you to grow stronger. As you sipped on another cup of coffee, lost in thought, Emma noticed your contemplation.
"So, are you really really sure?" Emma asked, seeing how nervous you were already.
"Yes. It's just dinner, right?" you said and Emma chuckled and agreed.
"Yes, but these things can lead to more. There is no pressure though," Emma reassured you as a mischievous grin spread across her lips.
"Exactly," you nodded vigorously, although doubts crept into your head when you looked up his soon to be ex-wife and the women he had dated before, all of whom were extremely attractive.
How could anyone possibly compete against those women? Why would he bother with somebody like me? These negative thoughts flooded your brain but nevertheless, you decided to push through these anxieties. After all, life was full of surprises and opportunities. Who knows, you may end up liking each other!
"Alright, we're doing this, then. Let's see where it leads," you confirmed firmly, looking determined despite your lingering insecurities.
Emma grinned broadly, pleased with your decision as she picked up the phone and called Jamie.
To be continued....
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#cillian murphy#cillian murphy smut#cillian murphy imagine#cillian murphy x reader#cillian murphy x y/n#cillian murphy x you#tommy shelby#jamie dornan#cillian murphy fanfiction#cillian murphy fanfic
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Astrology Observations- 020
Saturn in the 12th house can mean that you've got a fear of abandonment, this is because the 12th house rules one’s fears, and Saturn can represent abandonment.
Having a lot of Mercury or Neptune aspects in your chart can mean that you tend to get distracted easily, and have quite a short attention span. This is me fr, because I cannot finish a whole movie without checking my phone or something.
People with Moon conjunct Ascendant, may be told that they resemble their mother a lot, this is because the ascendant rules one’s appearance and the moon represents one’s mother.
Pisces mercury is the true sweet talker placement, these people will tell you what you want to hear, and you’ll be charmed. They also tend to be good singers. Singers with this placement include: Rihanna, Pharrell Williams, Justin Timberlake and Lady Gaga.
Moon square Mars often don't like being vulnerable and showing people their emotions. This is because Moon represents one's emotions, while Mars is an aggressive planet, and so in this instance, the square aspect is causing the two planets to oppose each other instead of working together.
Having Mercury as your dominant planet, or having Mercury aspecting your personal planets can mean that you often suffer from hayfever, headaches or anemia.
Prominent Gemini placements often have glowing skin because Gemini rules the oxygenation of blood, and therefore= glowing healthy skin. This is why Geminis are often associated with looking really young.
Mars rules piercings, the sign in which Mars is located can show which areas you'd wanna pierce or have already pierced. It can also show which piercings would really suit you.
♂ Mars in Aries: you may have facial piercings such as eyebrow, monroe piercings etc
♂ Mars in Taurus: nose and ear piercings would look really good on you
♂ Mars in Cancer: nipple piercings and belly ring would suit you well
♂ Mars in Libra: you’d look really good with a belly ring and dimple piercings
Where your Mercury is placed can show what you frequently think about:
Mercury in the 1st: you may think about about your interests, and you may enjoy telling others about yourself.
Mercury in the 2nd: you may talk about money quite a bit. 'If I were rich I'd....' You also like to think of ways to spoil yourself and make more money.
Mercury in the 3rd: you like to spread fun facts, and also talk about the new things that you've learnt. You may often think about your siblings/ cousins.
Mercury in the 4th: you can clearly express yourself around your family. You can also talk about real estate often, or you like imagining how your future house would look. You may think about how it would be like having kids. You often think about your past and how you could have done things differently.
Mercury in the 5th: you like talking to new people and you enjoy socializing. You could also talk about your art (if you make any) or you enjoy talking about your hobbies. You may be constantly coming up with new ideas relating to your hobbies.
Mercury in the 6th: you probably like to talk about ur job. You could also like talking about your future/daily plans. You may often think about your health too.
Mercury in the 7th: you probably (pretty frequently) think about what it would be like to be in love, you also prolly read FS pacs (I see u👀). If you've got a partner, they prolly live rent free in your mind💕😌.
Mercury in the 8th: you like to think about how you can transform yourself (whether it be clothing style to the way u think).
Mercury in the 9th: you could think about your spiritual journey/your God or religion quite a bit. You could also like talking about your university/college.
Mercury in the 10th: you may often think about what you want to do in the future (career-wise). You may also think about your reputation, and the first impressions u make.
Mercury in the 11th: you often think about your friends. You may also think about the injustices of the world (racism, misogyny, domestic abuse, climate change, global warming etc etc).
Mercury in the 12th: you can think about what haunts you from your past (as 12th house rules the subconscious mind). You also may think about the secrets that you keep from others (whether those secrets are yours or not). Your thoughts also manifest into your reality, you’re really good at manifesting.
Mercury square Pluto can make others misunderstand your words. Others may also be quite offended when you share your opinions, even if you don't actively try to offend others.
Saturn in the 3rd house can mean that you sometimes have problems breathing normally. This is because Saturn represents restrictions, and the 3rd house rules the lungs. You may also have a respiratory illness, like asthma or something. This placement can also mean that you have anxiety in front of people, or that your voice is really quiet, you may be asked to repeat yourself often.
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Thank you for getting this far, let me know which observations resonated with you in the comments below. If you enjoyed these, click here to access my paid readings <3. Until next time my lovelies. <33
x Okuhle ♥
#astrology#astro#astrology readings#astro community#astro notes#astro observations#astrology aspects#astrology notes#astrology observations#astrology tumblr#vedic astrology
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What's next in love?
DM for personal readings
Picture 1
I sense that you may have been through a completion or some kind of ending, either or a relationship or a situation ship. you may have been feeling drained by all that has happened within the last week. You may even feel like you have bad luck in love or love and relationships may not be your strongest suits. You are being guided to work on yourself, the only reason things are not working out is because the universe is saving you for someone special. and you will be overjoyed when you meet them. But before that you will have to grow spiritually and emotionally because I see that you are not ready for a long term connection and yet you keep looking for it in wrong people. Deep down you fear being vulnerable and deep connections, you will have to work on it first.
You will meet them right after a spiritual awakening or when you will be working towards your life purpose. You are constantly in survival mode, be more open and at ease.
You may have to pause on dating somebody for sometime or you may feel like you don't want to date anyone anymore but whatever the case may be I see that you will be working more on yourself and your goals.
Things that might resonate : stars or stargazing, paperwork or court, smiling emoji or stickers, train or bus, butterflies, a gold ring or a bracelet.
Picture 2
okayy so i sense that you may be waiting for someone to contact you or you may have sent an impulsive text to somebody. or you may need to made a decision in some time. I do see that there is somebody that is interested in you and the feelings are mutual, you may already know who i am talking about but there is some kind of external forces that is stopping this person from approaching you, either you have somebody else or they are talking to somebody else. i do see that there is a third party or this person may feel like you have somebody else now. for some of you this may be an ex. I do see that you do want them back for some. but overall i see that you already know the person who is your future partner.
I also see that they may be connected to your family or you may meet them through your family. I see that they may always have earphones plugged in or they may be connected to music.
You may be wishing to be in a relationship with them because they seem to be your ideal type. one of you may have to move on from your past. their or your name may translate to wish/hope/desire etc.
things that might resonate : clock or clock tower, office work, untuned guitar, blood ties, inner circle, yes, 21, 31, 46.
Picture 3
I sense that you guys may be thinking of moving out or changing locations soon. You may meet this person while travelling or they may be your neighbour in the new neighbourhood. I see that some of you may be talking to somebody who lives at a distance or you will be talking soon, whatever the case may be, i see that this is somebody new. This person maybe rich or they belong to a respected family. For some of you this person might be your future spouse. They may have a deep voice or husky voice. You guys may not be considering a romantic relationship at first but the feelings will increase over time. I sense that you are really intuitive yourself and you already be having dreams about them. I see that they may offer some kind of help to you, both financial and physical.
They may be an air or earth sign, especially Aquarius and Taurus. They may have long hair or thick hair. Their is really significant here. They may work in the education sector or medical sector.
I see that they find you really attractive and charming. You may be wearing yellow or yellow may be really significant in the first meeting.
Things that might resonate : Butterflies, crows, black cats, white, river or water body, cloudy day, 10,5, 17, library or books.
#pick a card#tarot#divination#spirituality#tarot reading#tarotcommunity#pick a photo#pick a pile#pick a picture#pick an image#tarot readings#tarot deck#tarot cards#tarotblr#spiritual knowledge#spiritualgrowth#spiritual journey#love tarot reading#future spouse#future lover#fs reading
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Happy Valentine's Day to you all! To celebrate, I'm back with another collaborative Drarry reclist, featuring a new lovely bunch of Drarry writers, artists, reccers, and fans!
Once again, the question was: ‘what one or two fics, or scenes, or quotes, represent peak Drarry romance to you?’ and (in what is rapidly becoming a nightmare for me), no duplicates from previous years were allowed. Thank you so much to everyone who took part, I hope you enjoy the results!
You can find part 1 (2022) here, and part 2 (2023) here!
This year's list features answers from: apricitydays-lazynights, arminaa8, drarrymyheart, drarryspecificrecs, hoko-onchi-writes, jtimu, littlewinnow, mallstars, myrtlefics, oflights, peachydreamxx, pl0tty, rainstormradish, romaine2424, squintclover, starquestingfordrarry, thecouchsofa, thedrarrylibrarian, and themiddleofwonderland!
***
@apricitydays-lazynights
💗who will receive you in love's offices by jtimu (E, 30k)
It was a wonder, Draco thought, watching Potter tip back the last remnants of his drink, that the man had survived to adulthood. Not because of the war, or the constant attempts on his life, or surviving two separate killing curses, despite his insistence that he had at some point died, but because there was not a single ounce of self-preservation in his entire body. There couldn’t be. …He glanced over at the potion on the table, and considered, for a fraction of a moment, getting up and pouring those same drops of veritaserum into his own glass. He looked away just as fast, back at Potter, grinning in his chair like they were queuing up for a Quidditch game and not at all like he had just handed his childhood nemesis the keys to his thoughts. “All right,” he said, “first of all. What the ever loving fuck is wrong with you?
@arminaa8
💗My Beautiful Boy by alexmeg (unrated, 69k, sequel to Alucinatio)
"You don't even like boys."
"I didn't know I did. But you," Harry trails off, laughs with his gaze trying to meet the grey of Draco's eyes, a little tremulous with nerves and fear and the way his breath sticks high in his throat like an ache. Draco does look at him, then. "God, you."
💗Seagulls Cause Storms, or the Essence of Chaos by @writandromance (M, 312k)
The stars above them were bright white. It made him think again of the black universe between the constellations, the way he thought people like him held the space for people like Harry to burn hot.
@drarrymyheart
💗The Rewards of Being Loved by @lou-isfake (E, 161k, sequel to The Ordeal of Being Known)
“What are you doing?”
“Trying to make you stop thinking so hard,” Harry replied, grinning mischievously. He placed Draco’s hand on his bare waist, his own hand on Draco’s shoulder. Draco’s lips twitched in a hesitant grin.
“This song is too fast for you to dance to.”
“Only if I’m thinking about it,” Harry retorted, stepping in close. “Is my kitchen too difficult for you to dance in, your highness?”
“Don’t underestimate me, Potter,” Draco murmured, his grin widening as he pulled Harry flush against him, taking his hand. Harry chuckled, waiting for him to lead.”
💗I Do Not Love You by @writandromance (M, 228k)
“The thing is,” Harry said, voice low like all they’d said was public knowledge and this was the secret. “If you’re interested in this, if we pursue this, I’ll be a goner.”
“A goner?” he echoed.
Harry took a lung-filling breath. “Yeah, Draco,” he sighed. “That’ll be it for me. Tony… well, Tony I ended up happy to see go. Miles, I—that was hard in the moment but I was fine. But you… we’re so connected, our lives are so connected, our friends. I don’t want to fuck around, it would be serious, to me. You’re serious to me.”
@drarryspecificrecs
(cause 'Hogwarts 8th year' & 'creature' are among my fave tropes and I really really adore fics where Draco is in trouble but not weak & Harry is already smitten with him)
💗Draco Malfoy, It's Your Lucky Day by @faith2wood (E, 37k)
💗The Arc of the Pendulum by brummell (E, 30k)
@hoko-onchi-writes
💗Half Sick of Shadows by StarQuesting (E, 40k)
(I have a hard time containing myself about dragon tamer Draco, and everyone knows it. I’m about as subtle as a brick when something pings a sweet spot in my brain. But this fic is so much more than a hot, aloof, sex king dragon tamer Draco who has weaver Harry weak in the knees. It is also so very bright and clear in my mind; the visuals are so affecting, just like the creations that Harry weaves. Favorite scene: Harry casually chatting with dragons. 12/10 would be unhinged again.)
💗A pulled down shade by fast_brother (M, 43k)
(I’m not a big crier over fics. Maybe three or four have made me cry this year. This one made me lose it. I think the thing that stands out to me is the visceral capture of emotion. You can feel Draco’s broken heart, and then you can feel Harry’s. I could probably get worked up about it right now. Favorite scene: Draco crying over the broken tea cup. I literally can’t function when I think about it. 12/10 would cry again.)
💗The Brightest Constellations of Our Souls by thecouchsofa (E, 256k)
(I might be cheating since I’m still savoring The Brightest Constellation of Our Souls but I’m including it because it is Peak Drarry Romance. TheCouchSofa always has this intensely brilliant characterization. Harry is heartbreakingly oblivious. Draco is prickly and about as subtle as a brick over pining for Harry. This also features depression!Harry, which has gotta be one of my favorite Harrys. She writes depressed Harry with such delicacy, handling the ins and outs of mental illness and trauma with care, but also making it fucking funny. Favorite scene so far: Harry very casually slipping into conversation that he’s bisexual after he’s been traveling with Draco for an absurd amount of time without mentioning it. And Draco’s ensuing reaction. 12/10 will continue swooning.)
@jtimu
💗Designate / your love as fate by @elskanellis (E, 17k)
💗Lover, Where Do You Live? by @dodgerkedavra (E, 39k)
💗Seven Days in June by @fourth-rose (E, 47k)
@littlewinnow
💗1000 Kisses: #27 First Thing in the Morning, Just After Moving in Together by @deliciouslystickypersona (E, 3k)
Draco trails his fingertips over the flat plane of Harry’s belly, tracing the line of hair up to where it widens over his pectorals. He nuzzles his nose into the curve of Harry’s shoulder, inhaling the sweet, musky, sleepy scent of his skin.
💗Little Love by @ladderofyears (M, 34k)
Harry – who still held Draco’s hand – was gazing at the baby, spellbound by the sight. His whole appearance couldn’t have been prouder, or more loving, had he been Snidget’s natural father. When Harry caught Draco looking at him, he beamed, unashamed of his response.
@mallstars
💗Elaborate, Correct, and Assiduously Observed by peu_a_peu (T, 4k)
Some things were still the same, he thought. Draco was the perfect height for Harry to put his head on his shoulder and rest. That had been secretly true all along, and they’d only had to figure it out.
💗Us, In Lieu by Tepre (E, 30k)
“I . . .” The words jumble in his mouth. His hair is still mostly wet in his neck. He should’ve shaved. He should’ve cleaned his glasses. He should’ve— “I do want you.” And, “Enough,” he adds, then decides no , decides, “Not just enough. More than. More than that.” He licks his lips. “So much more than that.”
💗The Pure and Simple Truth by @letteredlettered (E, 14k)
Malfoy’s eyelashes were visible just above his cheeks, golden and some might have said they should have been darker, but Harry thought that they were perfect. The curve of Malfoy’s jaw, the slant of Malfoy’s throat, that was perfect, too. Malfoy looked up, licked his lips. “I thought you weren’t interested,” he said.
💗The Isle of Ogygia by @citrusses (E, 13k)
The days pass slower, after Potter leaves. Draco tries to fish again, and manages to actually levitate a fish out of the water, but then he Stuns it and it sinks back beneath the waves like a rock, and he doesn’t have any luck retrieving it again. Every day he walks to the top of the lighthouse, casts the right spells, and walks back down. He looks around his room and thinks about where Potter sat.
@myrtlefics
💗Going Postal by dustmouth (125 page comic)
(I am a complete and utter sucker for Dustmouth’s comics and the correspondence and longing and softness of this one make me really happy)
@oflights
💗Yours is the Earth (Hold On, Hold On) by chickenlivesinpumpkin (E, 127k)
(Chapter 11: it's one of my fave proposals in any fic ever/a beautiful love confession/a lovely romantic moment that fits with how the rest of the fic builds up their relationship and all the poor communication and ways they've hurt each other and love each other)
@peachydreamxx
💗to be a bit of warmth (for you) by @softlystarstruck (M, 9k)
Draco stirs in Harry’s arms, mumbling something soft and incoherent, and Harry whispers a wandless spell to completely dim the room lights. If Draco is just seeking comfort, so what? Harry has more than enough to give– it may be the only thing he has left to give– and Draco grounds him, too. Whatever happened on the other side of a war they both went through no longer matters. They’re here, now, and Draco is cold.So Harry will keep him warm.
@pl0tty
💗Tandem by fast_brother (M, 93k)
The handle clicked and the door cracked open, allowing the sound of rain to come into the car.
“I… thanks,” Harry said. His heart was beating faster. His hands were sweaty.
Draco didn’t back away completely, just enough to be able to look Harry in the eyes.
“You have to stop that, Harry. Really," he said gravely, as if speaking about a very serious issue.
“Stop what?” Harry asked stupidly, still holding his breath.
“You have to stop looking at me like that.”
Harry’s heart traveled all the way up to his throat.
“I– I can’t,” he blurted out, feeling himself flush with the enormity of what he’d just said.
Draco let out a shocked chortle. He looked away at the street covered in rain, his left hand still resting on Harry’s chair. When he turned back towards Harry, he wasn’t laughing anymore.
He leaned in and kissed Harry on the lips.
💗Matters of the heart by nerakrose (G, 5k)
Today’s breakfast: eggs, toast, tea. I’ve left the sink a mess this week but I’ll do the dishes later. In a way taking these moments to write to you every morning feels like a little quiet refuge or a secret space that nobody else knows about but you. It feels safe here. I miss you. These days I’m missing you more than I’ve ever missed you before and I can’t explain it. Have I reached a breaking point? I don’t know.
Yours,
Harry
💗More Than That by joosetta (E, 11k)
“He was going to kill you,” Potter said, “He said he was going to kill you.”
“He was never going to kill me,” Draco mumbled, “He was up against you for Merlin’s sake. He tried to play quick-curse with Harry fucking Potter.”
Potter was silent for a bit at that, raising a hand up and stroking the back of Draco's head.
“He thought I would help him,” Potter said finally. Draco felt the strangest thing, like a spasm in his face, that left his eyes hot, and his lips shaking. He had to gather himself together again before he could reply.
“Well, he’s never had me suck his cock, so there was no way he could know,” Draco said, instead of he didn’t realise that you loved me. Potter got it anyway, because he laughed, just a little bit. He drew back, and his face was the most frightening and beautiful thing Draco had ever seen.
“You always talk like you give me blow jobs all the time,” he said. “You almost never give me blow jobs, Draco.”
💗Sparks from the Fox’s Tail by khalulu (T, 17k)
And then it was just natural to turn in his arms so they were face to face. Eye to eye, lip to lip, mouth to mouth. Natural to fall into bed together, hands and mouths moving over warm skin, stroking and kissing til they were breathless.
Harry broke off. “Should we think this through?”
“No,” said Draco. “Why did you pull away in the shower?”
“You were so weak then, I didn’t want to take advantage.”
“I was throwing myself at you with what little strength I had. Next time, catch me.”
“I’ve got you,” Harry said, winding himself around Draco. “I’ve got you.”
@rainstormradish
💗Where I see things right by InnerLilith (E, 15k)
(just... absolutely gorgeous handling of a sensitive subject, and I love how the preparation and thoughtfulness is such a big part of the romance. I don't bookmark InnerLilith's fics so much as intermittently go and reread half their back catalogue again. I've loved everything I've read from them.)
💗Help! I'm a Hopeless Romantic by peachydreamxx (M, 15k)
(we watch Harry fall in love with Draco and come to terms with lots of aspects of his life. The little Google searches are just so sweet and tender and I loved, loved loved it. And the ending is so perfect.)
@romaine2424
💗keep driving by @babooshkart (art)
(The romance portrayed in Keep Driving is palpable. Draco is so cool, but from every look, you can see the adoration she has for Harry. And Harry thrives off of the touches between them but also has a confident sense of her own worth. I will never tire of this calming, soft piece depicting a happy, confident, and joyful Drarry. The world is theirs to explore. They'll keep driving.)
💗Never Mind the Bollocks by @the-sinking-ship (E, 119k)
(Never Mind the Bollocks is a new fic from Erised 2023. I loved every moment of it, and Harry having so much fun and feeling like he belonged was everything. However, his drive to right and save all was still there. Chapter 18 brought it all together. I won't say how as the fic is so new, but, for me, it was so romantic with BAMF Harry showing up and Draco trying to be mad. Complete chef's kiss.)
@squintclover
💗 A Secondary Education by Thunderbird587 (E, 235k)
(I remember so vividly the falling in love and the moment when it changed for both of them.)
@starquestingfordrarry
💗The Potter Malfoy bathroom war of 2007 by @andithiel (E, 9k)
(it is peak bathing-comfort)
@thecouchsofa
💗Cut From the Sky by mallstars (E, 150k)
(“Rainy romance’ describes this perfectly. I love how Harry grows to love Draco and never stops going after him once he realises that’s what he wants. This kind of love necessitates an endless amount of patience, but I can’t think of anything more romantic than that – someone coming back time and time again and showing you more grace than you would ever show yourself.)
💗Everything is Relative to You by @thehoneybeet (E, 43k)
(Harry and Draco being each other’s Great Loves in every life going back hundreds of years? I am feral. I cannot be contained. A demonstration of them being perfect for each other in every timeline, through good and bad. This is peak romance at its best.)
@thedrarrylibrarian
💗O Come, All Ye Faithful by @toomuchplor (E, 20k)
(Told through jumps between the past and the present, I adore the way toomuchplor depicts the everyday romance of an established relationship. Too often romance is delegated to big displays of affection, when I think much of romance is in the mundane, routine moments. Listening to your partner share about their day is romantic. Making routine breakfast and coffee is romantic. The intimacy of having an ongoing inside joke about a cat name is unbearably romantic to me. These are the small, everyday moments that the foundations of grand romances are built upon, and this fic was a love note to those moments.)
@themiddleofwonderland (amazuppai)
💗Heal Thyself by astolat (T, 16k)
(it's a classic H/D fic that preserves Draco's prickly personality while still showing him reforming in a very realistic way. It's a slow-burn—Harry isn't really in the first half at all, and when he does show up he's still very suspicious of Draco—but as Draco shows his (new) true colors, Harry can't help that his suspicions turn to curiosity (one of my favorite tropes with reformed Draco fics) especially with the somewhat forced proximity they find themselves in that slowly turns into voluntary and frequent proximity. To me, maybe because of the slow burn, it seems like a very realistic depiction of how Draco could reform himself and how Harry can turn his suspicions into curiosity and eventually more to form a healthy relationship together.)
#drarry#ss recs#my annual romance reclist#always forget how long this takes :D#worth it though#thank you so much to everyone who took part
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About Bharani
Fate, The female and Desire.
Venus ruled, Mars's sign, Rahu's birth, Saturn's debilitation.
A kind of love letter to myself and other bharanis, especially bharani moons.
So, aren't we amazing? 😄 jk, but in all seriousness, I have some opinions and want to express them.
We're mleccha(outcaste) and venus ruled. What the hell is that? We're precious, that's the truth.
If there is one nakshatra that caters to females exclusively, this has to be it. This is no male territory. They wouldn't even understand. They don't. Think of how helpless they are when a female is birthing, how clueless they are about what menstruating feels like. We know some things have to be gatekept, for our sake. That's what we are about: guarding, protecting, gatekeeping, and we do it harshly, mercilessly, there's no other real way of doing it anyways.
I want to talk about what i think Bharani nakshatra is truly about: Fate.
Fate, choicelessness, being at the mercy of higher beings, authority, hierarchy...
Bharani's symbol is widely known to be the yoni(female sexual organ), a gateway to another world. Another symbol is the boat. In Greek mythology, souls were transported to the underworld via a boat. In various cultures, when a person died, people would put the corpse on a boat and let it burn while it floated away on water. Bharani-death association is no news, but why are females the key to all this?
After the freedom in Ashwini, the Sun's exaltation, we come to restraint, and not restraint from our own will, but the restraint we have no choice but to accept. This is the first nakshatra where we see the female. This is Saturn's debilitation, and amidst all this restraint we have the birth of planet Rahu, the birth of desire. Makes for a thrilling combination, does it not? While the male is cerebral, solar, the female is material. She IS the nature. While the male does, female is. The male's the user, the female's the used, and she can be used unfairly, poorly, incorrectly. This is the place where the female gets her revenge. Bharani is like a protection mechanism for ladies, she's given the right to refuse and if that right is violated, the will get her revenge. I'd say she has the power, but that would be wrong, because she IS power.
After all, all that male energy needs grounding, or it will disperse, that's why the female and her body, as well as mother nature that we all live on, are vessels_ material manifestations of the male energy that they hold. Bharani is about the rules that the universe is governed by, the unchangeable rules, the simple truths that have to be accepted. When you realize that the female perfection can be so easily ruined by the incorrect use of male energy, the choicelessness gains a whole new meaning in this context. It's the female that is choiceless, she's simply replicating the energy given to her on the material plane, giving it a shape, its proper shape, and if they don't like what they see, the blame should not be placed on the feminine.
So the female is the material and the rules,the boundaries, the limitations. That's why, in the most stereotipical way, many men fear women or are annoyed by them. The fate cannot be escaped, fortunately or unfortunately, and it does not really care what any individual thinks, it's much bigger than that.
Mythologically, various cultures have attributed fate to the feminine. The fates in greek mythology, three women with their threads of human fate, are one one of them. Another one that comes to mind is the norse goddess Frigg. Although I wouldn't coorelate her to Bharani, I think it's interesting that the highest standing(debatable) Norse goddess has a spinning wheel and a spindle, and it had been said that she knows the fate of everyone and eveything but keeps silent. Another interesting example would be Arianrhod from Welsh mythology. Her name literally means "The Silver wheel". Her various symbols include the tools used for weaving. The wheel-fate coorelation is apparent, and it's also interesting that fate is something to be "weaved" in all these mythologies I've mentioned.
The movie Brave(2012) comes to mind, where the rebellious princess Merida wants to change her fate, without any spoilers, there's a scene in the end where she has to repair a tapestry to avoid some disaster. She also has a tumultuous relationship with her mother, something that is also closely connected to Bharani. A really good example of this is the movie Ladybird starring Saoirse Ronan and Laurie Metcalfe, both Bharani moons.
Now we come to the part where I mention my personal life. As Bharani moon my relationship with my mother has been chaotic and full of tension, it's not exactly easy to talk about or explain. I've also noticed this in almost every Bharani person I ever knew. We always have that passion to stand up to authority and injustice, and it frequently leads to quarrels.
TRIGGER WARNING (gaslighting)
So I always thought that the gaslight gatekeep girlboss term was very Bharani. We've discussed the gatekeeping part, the girlboss part is obvious, and about gaslighting... the yoni is called "the great deluder"(source_claire nakti. Had to credit her!).
I want to talk about the movie Tangled and about Rapunzel's tale in general. The original story goes like this: A couple want a child(that venus, rahu's birth, desire theme) and the wife is pregnant(another bharani symbol) and she's craving a plant- rapunzel, that grows in their neighbor's garden(again, the desire-craving theme). Their neighbor is a sorceress. The husband ultimately steals the rapunzel, but he is caught by its rightful owner. They strike a deal: he can take all the rapunzel he wants in exchange for the baby. The man agrees.
After some time, the baby girl is born, and the witch comes to claim her. She names her Rapunzel, after the plant, and eventually, when she's twelve, locks her up in a tower. Let's pause for a moment to note the fact that we already have the Bharani themes of karma, cause and effect, desire and now claim and ownership(bharani, as the first venus-ruled nakshatra often tries to claim things and label them as their own and then gatekeep it harshly, just like the sorceress in this story. It's also interesting that the OWNED is also feminine).
Now, I really relate to Rapunzel. I also feel like I'm always missing something and that I could attain if only i could escape my current circumstances(the tower). Despite this state, I'm also full of desire and enthusiasm. When I was 8 (?) I won the tickets for my family to the premier of Tangled at my friend's birthday party. I obviously loved it(I still do), loved the story, the animation, THE MUSIC, Eugene... but never did I ever imagine that it would be so emotionally relevant to my life 12 years later. I kinda cracked the code and realised why I love it so much, it's cause she's basically me, and to be honest, she's every human in the truest, simplest way possible.
Anyways, let's continiue wuth the story. Rapunzel is locked in and while she's safe from the world, she's not safe from her "mother". Here I want to move over to the movie Tangled, but before that I'll finish the original. A prince finds her, they become lovers behind the sorceress's back, she eventually finds it out because Rapunzel can't keep her mouth shut, she cuts off Rapunzel's long golden hair and exiles her. When the prince comes to the tower he is greeted by Dame Gothel instead of Rapunzel, she tells him he's not to see Rapunzel again, he falls from there into the rose bushes and blinds himself. After years of wandering, he and Rapunzel finally find each other, Rapunzel's tears heal his blindness, they go to his kingdom and live happily ever after. Now, to Tangled.
The relationship between Rapunzel and and Gothel in Tangled is explored well enough for the audience to realize that she's abusive and a gaslighter(watch cinema therapy on youtube, they have a video about Tangled. They're also very wholesome). She's lying to her to keep her to herself, not really caring about her at all. The way Rapunzel feels misunderstood by the person who raised her feels very personal to me. This theme of gaslighting is very Bharani, as well the theme that love conquers all which is prevalent in the original tale. Also, I think that the damsel in distress archetype is very Bharani, as is the princess in the tower trope. She is power herself, so she's this completely passive power, waiting to be seen and be of use, longing for the other side while being trapped(saturn's debilitation). Bharani is about that leap of faith, to approach the female, to stand up to authority, to be brave, to follow your heart...
My another point is what drives these actions, which is desire and love. Overcoming fear through desire is the theme of Bharani. That's the very basis of life. There are tons of things to be wary of, but if we had no desire, no lust for life, we might not have lived at all. It's no secret that life and death, or birth and death, nourish each other. It's simply a matter of time(saturn, the material. The illusion of time is nessecary for life, limitations are nessecary for life, as bharani teaches us, the point is, are your limitations correct for you and your desires?), it's a process created by the illusion of time, and all that is driven by desire. While analyzing the tale of Rapunzel, I've noticed that most people focus on her long golden hair, ignoring what this tale is truly about, which is destiny, karma, cause and effect, bravery, how desire can lead to actions that have undoable consequences, how helplessly we are driven by desire.
One of my favourite movies, Tristan + Isolde (2006) is about the famous couple written about in medieval texts. They live in a cruel world but they're still driven by love, even though everyone and everything around them urges them towards restraint. They choose the limitation based on their hearts, knowing of the consequences that they would most likely have to face. I won't spoil it for you, but there's a quote in the end that i think really represents the essence of Bharani, at least, from the human perspective: " I don't know if life is greater than death, but love was more than either." This is very poweful. Life and death are just opposite sides of the same coin, death leads to birth, birth leads to death, and it's all driven by desire, it's all driven by love. And whether or not we have choice in all of this, we still simply have to accept the truth, we have to accept our truest limitations, as that is only way of growth and self-realization.
I'll leave you to that movie, that quote and this song. Love all of you, take care ❤
Please, interact with me. Like, reblog, COMMENT, especially if you're bharani, I'd love to hear your thoughts.
#bharani#bharani nakshatra#vedic astrology#moon in bharani#moon in bharani nakshatra#feminine#Spotify#sirereal astrology#sun in bharani#ascendant in bharani#ketu in bharani#astrology#nakshatras#bharani observations#bharani nakshatra observations#astrology observations#vedic astrology observations#astrology tumblr
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So, I was romancing Sam on every playthrough but decided to branch out finally, and now I have a tier list; ‼️Potential spoilers‼️
Tobin: By far my favorite RO. I typically don't like the archetype of "brooding ro and their charming ro counterpart" It just doesn't interest me as someone who has seen a lot of het romances employ this trope. But giving Tobin the chance they deserve and finding that I like how they respond to my MC's own flirtatious nature and then discovering how they feel about my MC being the same gender, just adds an extra layer of interest for me that I appreciated. They're kind, considerate, and very thoughtful of their friends. Very quickly blew the rest of the competition out of the water for me. I think their mindset when it comes to tennis explains why they're not the no.1 Seed despite being the captain of the team, and it honestly surprised me. I think the full weight of their route is explored best when MC is similarly looking to go pro as it parallels Rayyan nicely. Their kidness is the space they give you is born from experience and the fear of doing to MC what was done to them and I just eat that stuff up. Also it is very rare to have a black RO who is treated with any level of depth, and I just 🥹love that we Tobin.
Rayyan: In a surprise twist, Rayyan gets the second spot for similar reasons as Tobin. I think the enemies to friends to lovers(partners) arc that is presented in their story is intriguing. Like Sam, they have a level of history with the MC that makes them familiar when heading into the new space, so I made it a habit to stay near them when at all possible. Rayyan isn't particularly cold, or as cold as ppl might assume, I think they have a very good balance of being a sort of quiet and reserved person that still manages to be personable. I feel that playing like I do, my MC might've come off as flippant to them, which only adds to the anxiety that they feel going into this season. Their struggle of being visually Arab in a world and country that sees non whiteness as punishable is very felt. It's really special to me that the two most prominent ROs are dark skinned people of color. Sorry for being biased, but even when I wasn’t actively romancing them, they got major points for that.
Sam: My baby gets the third spot and I think that's fair. What i adored about Sam is the pining of a friends to lovers story. I never make the first move with Sam, despite playing very flirty, bc I see my MC with not having to put up a front with Sam. So the things they do or say that signify to others that my MC is looking for something physical aren't used with Sam; they believe MCs closeness with them is strictly platonic while my MC believes that Sam has been lightly rejecting this whole time. Just something about those missed connections get to me. (Also, the varcity jackets!? So cute) Now, Sam loses points due to being away at another university for a majority of the story thys far. Which made me wonder if placing them in a new environment with MC might change things for them. Everything IS different now; so, who is to say that their relationship hasn't run its course? Juicy, but due to lack of presence, I'll keep them at 3rd.
G: They're French. Automatically, a point is taken off. They're also very sexy as a woman (my MC is a they/them lesbian) so I felt that, to remain true to character, I would have to ignore that and see what G has going on. Ngl, they do sort of play out like a romance novel character in the most obvious way so far 😭 no hate though. I just couldn't not think about "Oh, you sexy French student." Whenever they said anything. Smoldering looks from across the room at a crowded college party, like okay 400 days of summer <3. I think they're rather perfect for players who are looking for some steam outside of the locker room. They have the same issue as Sam, as in, they're not present in the locker room. They're not our teammate, so we don't really get the same level of relationship building with them as u would a Rayyan or Tobin. And I don't think that's a bad thing necessarily. I feel that speaks to the amount of work put in to make the team feel real and not just thrown together characters. Once I started to romance my teammates, I found it hard to flirt with anyone else, as I felt that they just didn't understand my MC on the same level.
Felix: ngl, they'd have to get security to get me off them, I have this burning rage in my heart whenever they show up. "🤼♂️ This is for Tobin, Cakepop‼️" I am sure there is indeed depth to them as a character, I am sure it hurts to hear someone say "I can not love you the way you want me to." And we are only human, we don't always behave the way we want to. But Felix makes my nipple itch they just remind me of men who just hold this anger for their exes unreasonably. I think there is an interesting parallel to be found in a Tobin route MC and Felix. I just don't have the language to put it together bc I will never romance them and I don't think I ever will, personally just can't bring myself to do so. They are what I felt Rayyan would be, and I'm fine with meeting them with hostility.
All in all, I'm glad I branched out to see what the other ROs were like it's definitely a testament to ur hard work and is greatly appreciated. I will continue to be messy and kiss Tobin, Rayyan, and Sam because I am toxic aim to be a learning experience, not a lover 🫶🏽
Oh my god~ It was so interesting to see your gradual evolution / journey through pursuing the different ROs.
I think it's really interesting in particular to see how Tobin's character is sort of 'hidden' beneath multiple layers, and you have to really work at unpeeling those layers, and it's really rewarding as a writer to see that route 'give' readers so much unexpected joy.
And, of course — I have a soft spot for stoic / unexpressive, overly-competitive, serious characters who are secretly just a giant sap. For Rayyan in particular, I think their drive to excel at tennis is counter-balanced against their loyalty, their ride-or-die-ness with the people they love. I love the extra bit of psychoanalysis that you did regarding Rayyan's anxiety about MC not taking tennis seriously, which is fine on its own, but really becomes an issue if they're partnered.
Sam having less 'screen-time' than the others is totally fair, and I think (or hope) will be made up for by the sheer amount of history they share.
As for the whole "French sexy" stereotype, I actually do think this is a crucial part of G's arc. The idea that perhaps they both see each other as 'archetypes' at the start (the jock-fling during one's exchange year, the sexy french exchange student), and then as they start understanding each other as real people, and then as they start (possibly) falling in love with each other (with all the eccentricities, all the imperfections), the relationship takes on more depth and dimension.
Finally, thank you so much for taking the time to explore all these different routes, and I'm so glad that doing so was rewarding for you :) I absolutely loved reading this message, so thank you also for sharing! It's always so fun listening to how different MCs, or different MC choices, and just different readers in general — have different takes on the ROs!
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"Perc@beth is the gold standard and no-one is doing it like them."
EDIT: Perc@beth fans, this post is not for you. Keep scrolling. DNI.
Umm yea. I agree.
I haven't seen any other couple that's equally as unhealthy and abusive get so much praise and be treated as such a high goal and aspiration.
People will be saying this like the following events never happen:
Percy scared Annabeth to tears. She was crying and begging him. And they never :) talk :) about :) it. :)
Percy has been suicidal since he met Annabeth. In BoO he attempted suicide and Annabeth said nothing, noticed nothing and did nothing to help/support her boyfriend. In fact, she ignores him and only talks to Piper. (I'm not saying she shouldn't talk to Piper - she can that's fine - but she needs to talk to Percy. And she doesnt).
Annabeth judo flips Percy and that's treated as girl power and a normal thing. When Percy is an abuse survivor who once lived in fear of his step father beating him into unconsciousness.
Annabeth likes to keep Percy on his toes (her words) which makes Percy constantly anxious and nervous: he can never tell what she's thinking and he's scared of fucking up to the point that he feels like roadkill (his words).
The one time Percy brings up his abusive step father (possibly seeking comfort and support while they were in literal hell) Annabeth laughs it off as a joke. He never correct her assumption and shares the truth.
Annabeth is unapologetically rude to Percy's family (Sally and Paul being the exception). She outright says eww and gross while Tyson compliments her, and she's incredibly rude to him. She spends the entire first book constantly telling Percy that Poseidon is dirty and rotten and makes Percy second guess the gifts Poseidon gives him (there's always a price for gifts). And this is while Percy's mom Sally is dead and Percy is seeking his father for answers/help/support.
Percy constantly thinks Annabeth is going to hurt him when she looks mad/emotional (ttc - she looked like she wanted to judo flip me, botl - I thought she was going to punch me) and you'd think that's just Percy's unresolved trauma from his step father (who, remember, threatened to beat Percy into unconsciousness) but then she actually judo flips Percy in MoA, proving that it's not just irrational fear. It's the cycle of abusive relationships continuing.
Percy has shit self esteem, and doesn't think he's worthy of being Annabeth's boyfriend. The way cotg is written (from the bits I read) is that Percy comes off as the problem boyfriend that needs his girlfriend to constantly help/fix him. She does nothing (from what I've seen) to help Percy or direct Percy to someone who can help with this.
Annabeth pushes Percy to choose between her and his family (Sally, Paul and Estelle). Percy genuinely wants to stay back in Manhatten to be an older brother to Estelle but no. He already thinks he's unworthy, so he'd be horrible to say no to her, right? Not to mention:
Percy has no interest in going to New Rome or university. First page of cotg he's asking Poseidon to excuse him from school forever. He hasn't looked up any programs or fields he wants to go into. He doesn't have any idea of what career or field he wants to work in. His sole reason for going: Annabeth. That's unhealthy. It's not good to base all your happiness on one person; it's too much pressure on both of you. Plus, codependency is not romantic. It's unhealthy.
Not to mention the strongest point of all, and imo the only one that really matters:
Perc@beth is being treated as the gold standard for relationships, and that's teaching tens/hundreds of thousands of impressionable young teens that this behavior is not only acceptable but something to be aspired. They don't understand that it's unhealthy or abusive. They'll aim to be like this and 1. may start treating their partner like this or 2. May allow their partner to treat them like this. This toxic behavior has real world consequences. It's not just a book. It's influencing people irl.
#anti percabeth#percy jackson#pjo#hoo#annabeth chase#heroes of olympus#percy jackson and the olympians#rick riordan#rrverse#nico di angelo#gabe ugliano#sally jackson#tyson#poseidon#abusive relationship#judo flip#trauma#pjo hoo#pjo hoo toa#percy#annabeth#anti percy/annabeth#anti percy jackson/annabeth chase#poll
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||Strange Love|| written by me ₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊
Plot: Choso fell in love with you but doesn't know how to tell and from the point of your view he seems a perv for the way he acts ε('｡•᎑•`)っ 💕
Tags: dorm!AU,fem!reader,university timeline,both Choso and the reader are adults,love,hug,awkward,inexperienced,shy,Choso being strange,dummy,pervert? (he stares,a lot) even tough he doesn't see or acknowledge that since he's new to this love stuff,but inside he's all giggidy and confused (poor buddy don't me mad at him :( ),very heart melting choso
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Choso doesn’t even know what to say in response. He thinks about you constantly, even when he’s surrounded by other people. You can’t stop invading his mind. But these are human feelings that he doesn’t really understand. Why is he so drawn to you and why does he keep having these intrusive thoughts of kissing your soft lips? He never imagined he’d be capable of falling for a human, but his growing infatuation with you leaves him confused and ashamed.
He’s never felt anything like this before and the mere thought of expressing his feelings for you terrifies him. He’s afraid of revealing too much and of being rejected. Even he knows that his interest wouldn’t be widely accepted due to the nature of who he is. He desperately wants to be with you but he feels conflicted about this. He pushes the thoughts of you aside and tries to distract himself by thinking of other things but soon enough, he ends up thinking of you again. The cycle never stops.
His mind is filled with thoughts of wanting to touch you, kiss you, hug you and hold your hand. He even thinks about you when he’s eating and feels an overwhelming desire to feed you.
Choso tries to reason with himself that these are just passing thoughts and not the real him. But he knows that the truth is, he has fallen in love with you, despite his fears and the obstacles in the way.
One morning you two were making breakfast in your dorm when you noticed Choso looking at your chest with an absent minded eyes 'the fuck this creep.is.' you tought to yourself before you gulped your cereals fast feeling uneasy as you covered your chest quickly "what are u staring at ?pervert!"
Choso looks away quickly but not before you catch a glimpse of his bright red face. He’s been staring at you for the past few minutes but he’s only noticing it now.
He was getting lost in his own thoughts and staring absentmindedly at your chest. Now, he’s completely embarrassed that you caught him staring and even more so as he realizes what exactly he was staring at.
"so? some explaining?" you pouted glaring at him gripping the spoon
“I uh…” Choso trails off as he becomes too flustered to get out another word. He’s sweating and looks like he’s about to panic.
He didn’t think you’d catch him staring and he doesn’t even know what to say to explain himself. He’s just going to deny being perverted, like the other times you called him that, while his face is still glowing bright red from embarrassment.
"tch,this is what all you males thinks about,you have one hot chick in your dorm and-" You stopped when you heard choked sob from Choso lips wich made you falter "Buddy?" you asked raising an eyebrow
Choso suddenly covers his mouth as he lets out a single choked sob. You can hear him holding back more tears when he tries to speak in a shaky voice.
After a moment, he manages to regain his composure and looks you in the eyes. “Please…don’t call me that….”
You felt guilt as you saw the sobbing pale man in front of you,he seemed so innocent and ..frail "you…don't have expirence with women do you?"
“No…” Choso admits in a small voice, barely above a whisper. He looks away as his cheeks become flushed again.
He knows he shouldn’t have admitted as much, but seeing your face soften with pity and guilt made him honest. Not that he wants you to pity him. He just doesn’t want to be known as a pervert or for you to think he’s a creep for looking at your chest.
“And that’s why you were staring?” you ask, noticing that he seems hesitant to look at you now.
He remains quiet for a few minutes, thinking about whether or not he should reveal the truth. Finally, he nods, unable to find the words.
“You were staring because you’ve never seen a female’s chest before?”
“Y-yeah… I…” Choso trails off, not knowing how to reply.
He feels his face flushing again from embarrassment, realizing how pathetic this sounds coming from a grown man.
However, he’s not entirely sure how else to explain himself. He’s never been with a woman before and has no idea what he’s supposed to do or how he’s supposed to act. So, he simply stares and fantasizes.
He remains silent as he waits for your response.
You approach him hesitantly and he flinches a bit and makes a soft sound when you get close.
He quickly turns away, fidgeting his hands together as he begins to blush again. He’s being completely adorable right now and you can’t help but feel a bit amused.
He doesn’t know what to do around you, which makes you feel a bit guilty since you know you’ve been unintentionally teasing him. However, at the same time, you can’t deny that he looks adorable as he fidgets and shifts awkwardly.
He’s clearly flustered and uncertain of what to do with the close distance between you two. He can’t stand still, constantly shifting his weight from foot to foot and looking everywhere else but at you. He’s trying to stay focused but he’s struggling to keep his composure as he keeps fidgeting and blushing. The slightest movement of your body has a dramatic effect on him and he’s not used to this at all.
You approach him yet again from the opposite side but he immediately shifts in the other direction, frantically trying to avoid being touched by you.
As he moves, you notice him making sounds of distress. He’s breathing heavily and his eyes are still squinted. He appears to be terrified of you invading his personal space.
It’s a bit concerning but the way he’s acting is also hilarious considering that he’s a grown man who’s been around you for several weeks. Still, it’s impossible to deny how cute he looks as he’s constantly moving away from you.
You continue your effort to close the distance while he’s quickly trying to shift away. It’s as if his body is on autopilot and is instinctively trying to avoid you at all costs.
You feel a bit bad as you watch him become increasingly panicked. This is probably the first time he’s been in such close proximity to a female and it’s clearly having an effect on him.
As you continue to move towards him, he suddenly freezes. Not knowing what to do, he simply stares at you with a frantic and desperate look on his face.
"here" you tooked his hand as you seated on his lap…wich you only realized how big he was and his hand too "o..oh" you muttered thinking of him as a gentle giant
You suddenly take his hand as you take a seat on his lap, not realizing just how big he really is until now.
His size, combined with his strength and his hands make him feel like a giant compared to your small and delicate frame.
He blinks down at you in surprise when you sit on his lap, caught off-guard by the unexpected physical contact. His hand feels rough against yours and a bit damp, probably from sweat due to his anxiousness.
The texture of Choso’s skin feels pleasantly smooth and cool as your fingers intertwine with his. The feeling is almost addicting and your fingers start to subconsciously toy with his hand.
The dampness from the sweat on his hands makes this even more enticing as you play with his fingers.
He lets out an unexpected gasp at this, his breath catching. He was still very much unsure of the physical contact but there was something very satisfying in the way your fingers played with his.
You ask him if he likes the feeling of your fingers intertwined with his and he can’t help but let out a small moan in response.
This is all new and overwhelming for him. The physical contact feels incredibly good and he can’t help but let out soft sounds of pleasure.
When you ask if he thinks he’s in love with you, his face turns an adorable shade of red as he mumbles out his reply. “I-I don’t know… I’m not sure if my attachment is just a result of my lack of experience…”
"and what do u feel? here?" you placed your small hand on his big toned chest.
The soft and petite touch of your hand on his chest immediately makes his heart speed up even more. He’s never felt this close to a woman before. The touch is too much for his senses to bear and he lets out another soft moan.
He remains still for a few seconds as he takes a few quick breaths to regain his composure.
“I… I feel my heartbeat speeding up…” he murmurs as his hands tightly grip yours.
"no silly..i meant what does your heart feel?" You giggled looking at him with your sparkling eyes
Choso remains silent for a few seconds as he thinks about your question.
He tries to search his mind for the answer you’re seeking but he can’t seem to put it into words. All he knows is that his heart beat speeds up and his body feels a bit hotter whenever you get close to him.
He takes a deep breath and tries to make it clearer.
“I’m not exactly sure how to describe it… My mind feels… foggy… and my body feels hot when you’re near me… that’s as best as I can describe it…”
“I don’t understand my feelings for you…” Choso mumbled as he tightened his hands around your small slender ones.
Even now, his heart felt like it was beating out of his chest and he felt this sudden urge to hold you close to him.
“You make me nervous whenever you’re close to me… I have all these conflicting emotions… excitement, nervousness, confusion…”
Choso sighs as he continues to struggle expressing himself.
“I feel these emotions whenever I see you… whenever I’m close to you… and whenever you look at me…”
Choso pauses for a few seconds as he tries to organize his thoughts. He closes his eyes for a moment before he continues.
“I feel this strange warm feeling in my chest… it’s like excitement and butterflies and… something else… when I think about holding you close or being close to you… but at the same time, there’s fear… fear of losing you… fear of being rejected…”
“I don’t know why my emotions are so confused and conflicting but… it’s almost as if… I’m… scared…”
Choso pauses for a moment as he takes deep breaths, trying to calm his trembling hands.
“I’m scared of being rejected by you… I’m scared to come clean about my feelings… I’m scared that you won’t be able to see me the same way… I’m scared of being hurt…”
"like before when i called you pevert?" you asked genuinly
Choso nods in response to your question, clearly feeling some embarrassment by the reminder.
“Yes… like when you call me that… I always felt like you thought I was just like those male jujutsu students who are nothing but perverse and lustful…”
He remains silent for a few seconds before he takes a deep breath again.
“And I’m not…” he muttered under his breath
“I’m not like that at all… I’m just… inexperienced…”
Choso glances down at your hand once more, letting out a small sigh. He was so focused on your hand and your presence that he started blushing again.
“I-it’s just a little hard to keep myself from staring at times…”
“I know that makes me seem like a pervert but the truth is… you’re really beautiful, you know that…”
Choso’s face grows even redder as he stares at you, still holding your hand tightly in his own. He seemed to be a mix of flustered and embarrassed at the moment, unsure of how to convey his feelings properly.
“You’re just so wonderful… and that makes it really hard not to stare… but I swear that I’m not a pervert…”
Choso looks away as he grows more and more flustered. He looks to the side and mumbles a bit, his voice becoming softer as he speaks.
“I just… I just find you really attractive… there… I said it…”
He can’t help the embarrassed blush that appears on his face as he says the words. He was never much of flirt or a social butterfly, so this was all a bit new for him.
However, he was determined to say what he felt regardless of how he looked doing so.
“And I’m not just talking about your physique or your beauty, it’s… it’s everything about you…”
Choso stops for a few seconds as he struggles to express his thoughts properly.
“Your personality… the way you care about other people… even if you can be a little stubborn at times… I just… I enjoy being around you…”
“The more time that I spend with you, the more my emotions seem to grow…”
Choso takes a deep breath as he begins to fidgeting more with his hand. It was really hard for him to put his feelings into words like this.
“I never really understood why human men were so obsessed with finding love… now, I get it… I get why people strive for something like that… I just… I never thought that I would experience something like this myself… with you…”
“I want to keep spending time with you… I want to keep getting more comfortable with you…”
Choso can’t help the soft smile that forms on his face as he says this.
“It feels like I learn something new about myself every time I’m around you… like a brand new experience…”
He takes a deep breath before he continues.
“It feels like I still have so much to learn about love… and about myself… and I’d like my teacher to be…"
"You."
Choso's voice was a simple, soft mutter as he averted his gaze from you.
He was starting to feel really embarrassed by his words but he also felt completely certain and confident about the feelings he was expressing.
This was clearly uncharted territory for him but he was still determined to get his message out to you in some way.
"I'd like… I want…" He stumbles over his words, still feeling a little flustered.
“I want to continue getting close to you… to understand you and for you to understand me… to learn and grow together… to…” His words start becoming a bit more jumbled as his body language grows even more flustered.
Choso has a hard time keeping himself from fidgeting with your hand and he seems more and more uncertain on how to organize his thoughts.
Eventually, he’s unable to speak any further without stammering and he seems hesitant to look back at you.
"I want to learn everything..." Choso's voice sounds slightly muffled as you press your head against his chest.
He seems to lose track of his thoughts for a moment as he relaxes into the contact.
"How everything feels... how love feels... how we feel about each other..."
He sighs and closes his eyes as he continues to speak.
"I want to learn what it means to build a real relationship with someone... I want to understand you better... understand myself better..."
You feel Choso’s hand gripping yours tightly as you play with the fingers. He doesn't move much, staying mostly still while you tease him.
You also notice him start to relax even further, his breathing becoming even and stable. It feels like he's slowly letting down his guard and becoming comfortable with you.
The movement of your grip on his hand rocks him a little, causing him to sway a bit in the rhythm. The sensation feels nice and calming, and you start to rock him more.
Choso’s other hand wraps around your side, lightly pulling you in closer.
He’s beginning to feel increasingly comfortable with you and he relaxes his hold on you as a sign of trust.
The two of you settle into each other's arms, snuggling up close.
Your head rests in the crook of his neck and it feels nice to have him wrap his arms around you. You fit seamlessly into each other’s embrace in a way that feels right and natural.
“I just feel… so safe… with you…” Choso’s voice is soft as he murmurs his words.
A small smile appears on his face as he takes a deep breath. He seems to lean a bit more into you, resting his head on your shoulder in return.
You both stay still in each other’s arms for a moment, just enjoying this simple and sweet intimacy together.
A few moments later, Choso speaks again, his voice still soft.
“It’s just so nice being near you… I feel warm… and safe… and calm…”
He remains still in your arms, closing his eyes.
“I’m even having a hard time thinking right now…”
A slight chuckle escapes his lips as he continues to speak.
“I never imagined that I’d feel so comfortable around someone…”
“Your mere presence is calming… it’s as if I’m in paradise when I’m with you…”
A calm and peaceful look crosses his face as he says this. He seems truly at ease and peaceful in your presence.
He tightens his hold around you, his entire body feeling content as he does so.
“Just hold me close…” Choso mumbles as he relaxes more and more in your arms.
He leans back into you even further, pressing his body against yours.
His hand holds onto yours tighter, his grip becoming even more comfortable as he does so.
“Just embrace me…” he whispers softly, closing his eyes as he rests his head on your shoulder.
Choso remains in your arms, his breathing starting to slowly become more and more deep, steady and regular. He starts to feel tired and his body is slowly drifting off to sleep.
He leans even more against you, his head now resting on your shoulder as his grip on your hand relaxes a bit.
You can feel the soft breathing against your shoulder as he starts to get sleepy.
“It would be nice… if we could stay like this… forever…” Choso’s voice was starting to grow tired with every word.
He was already starting to doze and you could feel his soft breathing against your neck as he slowly lost consciousness.
He muttered those last words as he drifted off to sleep, his body growing completely relaxed and resting against you.
“Like a quiet evening… spent in silence… but together…”
You could feel his body relax more as he finally lost consciousness. He remained comfortably in your arms, completely still.
His breathing slowed even more as you could hear it slowly become quieter.
Choso was finally asleep, his body safe and secure in your arms. You were the last two people in the world to him at that moment and he felt at peace.
“Hm... mnh”
Choso’s slight murmur breaks the silence as he slowly begins to wake up. He’s not fully awake yet and seems to be in that foggy, sleep state where he’s half-awake and half-asleep.
You can feel his body begin to move slightly but he remains mostly still. His grip on your hand slowly tightens and you can feel him shift a bit closer to you.
“Mm... comf... warm…. mhhh…”
Choso mumbles sleepily and slowly squeezes your hand further.
He’s still not completely awake yet but he seems to be in a calmer state now compared to when you first arrived.
#choso x reader#jjk fanfic#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jujustu kaisen#ranting love#cutemeltdown#adorable#kiss#kawaii#omg this is so fricking cute#enamoured#jujutsu kaisen choso#jujutsu kaizen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen#choso kamo#writers on tumblr#anime
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TMAG Theory Board Update (EP 11-12)
Hi guys sorry about the late posting I've just started a new quarter of college and its been pretty hectic. also got into my school design BFA program so pretty stoked about that! Anyways lets get into the Episode Breakdowns because even though not a lot of lore related things happened I still have a lot to talk about
For the breakdown I'll separate each by episode in sequential order
What Happened in Episode 11: Marked
Celias Rude Awakening- we jump right into the weirdness straight away with Celia waking up on the side of the interstate. she indicates that this is not a weird occurrence and ends the scene by telling someone named Jack that she's "on her way." If you remember episode 8 after Celia and Sam talk to Gerry and Gertrude, she mentions stuff about wanting help with her own mystery. When Sam asks about it she says she's looking into Time travel, other dimentions and teleportation. Many people have theorized that maybe Celia is just a super heavy sleepwalker, but I think the she teleports random places out of nowhere. This could be a side effect of her reality hopping if this Celia is originally from The archives universe.
As for the identity of Jack I'm not quite sure about that yet. I cross referenced the name Jack with past episodes of TMA. The only thing that came up was Jack Barnabas from the statement about dating Agnes Montague (aka an avatar of the desolation and Jesus-like figure for the cult of the lightless flame) So Unless Celia is secretly Agnes of Agnes reincarnated , I can't find any way to link Barnabas to Celia. (if anyone has a theory feel free to send it my way.)
Sam Lore- this one is pretty minor story-wise but I thought it was interesting. Before the statement for the episode is presented we get some classic Sam and Alice Banter ™ most of it is pretty lighthearted but I noticed Sam mention something that could indicate he might be an amputee.
These could not mean anything and I find it weird that it hasn't been mentioned until now but thought it was kind of cool and I will probably be drawing sam with a prothetic leg in the future cause I really like this head-canon. It also begs to question if he is missing a leg. it might have anything to do with his past as a Magnus institute test subject but then again could just be a fun character detail added by Jonny and/or Alex .
The Statement- Getting into the statement we get another Ink5oul appearance. Also possible Ink5oul identifying as she/they. (and lets be honest being a fear avatar is pretty non binary core). I found this Episode gave me a feeling of a hybrid between the Vast, Buried and the Flesh some people are theorizing that is might be a new entity called the Deep but I think that the fear of the ocean could easily apply to the vast or buried. Not much to say about this story though pretty standard Magnus horror that also gave us a hint to what Ink5oul's goal could be/which entity they serve.
Post Bonzo- Gwen has a debrief with Lena after her first Externals Liason assignment and her meeting with Mr. Bonzo. Undoubtedly Gwen is still pretty shaken from her encounter, even arriving late to work due to sleeplessness. Gwen is able to ask Lena a few questions mainly she wanted to know who's name was written on the letter given to Bonzo
Lena is largely unhelpful but tells Gwen she should have worked it out by now and if not to pay close attention to the case load for the next couple of days. before the latest episode my guess was Klaus because that is the only person mentioned so far that the OIAR intends to kill. but more on that later
Marked- Now were getting to my favorite thing about this episode. This episode title can have two meanings. The first is the more literal interpretation. Tattoos are marking of the body and the case this episode was all about tattoos so easily a good name would be marked. But I believe this is a red herring meant to misguide listeners who have not consumed all 200 episodes of TMA because if you know the world of Magnus Archives the term Marked takes on a entirely different meaning.
In TMA the term marked is used to indicate that somebody has been influenced by one or more or the fears and are one their way to becoming an Avatar. I think this could be a coded way to tell the audience someone in the OIAR has been marked. I have two potential candidates
Alice Dyer- Alice has been having dreams about the Institute after her and Sam's adventure into the ruins. also she mentions feeling like someone's watching her (common to people influenced or fed upon by the Ceaseless Watcher/The Eye) My guess if she is marked it would be by the Eye.
Gwendolyn Bouchard: Probably the most likely culprit. The main way an entitly tends to mark people is through encounters with other avatars. Gwen has just had an encounter with Mr Bonzo last episode who I strongly believe must be an avatar of some sort.
What Happened in Episode 12: Getting Off
Aww Sam!!- Sam asked Celia out and it was adorably awkward. not much to say I just loved this interaction and I'm longing for a new Magnus brand office romance hopefully is wont be an agonizing slowburn that ends tragically like a certain pair of morons from Archives (I love you Jon and Martin but Jesus christ)
It's Bonzo time bitches!!- Probably one of the most gruesome Magnus statement I've ever listened to (good work Alex) Mr Bonzo completely annihilated some poor dude at his bachelor party. Based on the date of the Incident the I can confidently say that whoever Baz (the groom) was he was our mystery person the OIAR sent Mr Bonzo to get rid of. Along with some of the bloodiest imagery we learned a few things about Bonzo. The most interesting detail is that Bonzo has to be summoned by playing his theme song I think the CD of his theme song acts somewhat like the tapes did in TMA by materialising out of nowhere. Also fun fact you know that torn seam that is right down Bonzo's middle? that is actually is his mouth lined with rows sharp teeth so I guess I know that now (so fun) Moral of the story dont f*ck with Mr. Bonzo
Alice knows something: Theres been this recurring audio glitch throughout TMAGP thatnks to a few extremly observent fans we have started to relize that these glitches are not at all random and are actually letting the audience know when a character is lying (i actually reposted somones deepdive into all the istances of this glitch so far if you guys are intrested in knowing more) why i bring this up now is becuase since we know when any charater is lying we also know when they are being truthful if there is no glitch when they say somthing and at the end of this episode this interaction occurs
Alice goes ahead and makes a joke about this to annoy Gwen but the fact theres no audio glitch when she says "I know" means she does actually know who is behind the OIAR and is activly refusing to share it with Gwen or the others. What do you know Alice!?
and that's about it im already loving these next batch of episodes and am so excited to learn more (ERROR has to show up somtime )
thanks to everyone who resonded the poll on the last update I will continue to include drawings into the breakdown even if it takes me a little bit of time to post. anyways I wrote this all in one sitting and I'm about ready to pass out so thanks again and the ask box and comments are always open for discussion and theory crafting.
-Echo
#the magnus protocol#augustus tmagp#tmagp#chester tmagp#gwendolyn bouchard#jonathan sims#lena kelley#martin blackwood#norris tmagp#tmagp theory#ink5oul#tmagp fanart#tmagp spoilers#the magnus pod#magpod#tmagp speculation#magnus protocol#magnuspod#alice dyer#gwen bouchard#samama khalid#lena kelly#celia ripley#tmagp celia#rusty quill#alexander j newall#celia x sam#tmagp thoughts
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Ahem, yes it is I! So an idea literally bashed me in the face and I couldn't help but think 'Oh this is an interesting idea!'
What if different versions Transformers have this crossover (Bayverse, T.F.P., T.F.A., GEN 1, Knightverse which is one of my favourites because of Charlie and Bumblebee or any other universes you're familiar with it) where T.F.P.'s groundbridge malfunctioned (probably Wheeljack and Bulkhead) The reader works in the T.F.P. universe Ratchet's assistant and they're his guardian on top of that. Of course, instead of sending them to a desired location the groundbridge ended up locating them in a different dimension... it was Bayverse's while the other dimensions were already there and T.F.P. just lands there last. Just complete and utter silence until Miko says something. You can tell how shit went downhill from there, but let's pretend no one dies for the sake of it all. My dearest reader and T.F.P. O.P. are dating but also not dating; they're just orbiting one another while being friends and T.F.P.'s O.P. is just content and not necessarily talkative but just sweet with the reader. Always carrying them around and so on. Of course, the other universes notice that. Jazz from Gen 1 is just smirking in that damn corner and all versions of Prowl wondering why is their lives are like this. It doesn't help that T.F.P.'s Ratchet has been tired of seeing these two idiots being in love and not doing shit about it. Obviously, the other O.P. versions caught on and the reactions... varied. Surprise, to utter.. confusion and curiosity to completely just wondering if there is a reader on their Earth. You can always add in anything you wish; I really love bantering amongst the others too! AND IRONHIDE'S REACTIONS TOO-
Multiverse to Bayverse (Transformers Multiverse/ TMV)
Will probably edit it later for typos lol
(Bayverse, Animated, Prime, Earthspark, Gen 1)
Various! Optimus Primes X Reader
Ratchet noticed something was wrong with the groundbridge when it started growing a weird yellowish color. Before anyone could say anything, a wave covered all of them in golden light.
June, who walked in with popcorn, looked around the room in question. “Uh, guys?”
You all landed on the harsh ground, and heard a voice. Before you could hit the ground, Optimus caught you in his servos.
We all looked up to see a large group of around twenty Cybertronians. There was complete silence in the room as everyone looked at eachother, when Miko chimes in. “Uh, why are there like five Optimus Primes? Raise of hands if you’re secretly another Optimus.”
Everyone gave her a deadpan look when you realized quickly that you were not in your Optimus’ servos. You looked up to see an almost cartoonish looking bot, smiling sheepishly down at you.
“Uh, hi. I’m Optimus Prime, nice to meet you.”
You squinted at him, and looked around the room. “Okay so I assume that this has to do with the groundbridge explosion- or I’m in a weird dream.”
The four Optimus Primes that were new to you looked at you in confusion. “Groundbridge?” Two chime in.
“Uh… yeah. A scaled down version of the space bridge. Ratchet engineered it to transport everyone anywhere on Earth- we couldn’t have anything as high-scale as a space bridge because we lack the energon for it.”
“Well why don’t you just use oil?” A voice sounds.
You all look over to a green bot. “Bulkhead?” Arcee asked.
“Uh, yeah- how do you know my name?”
Your Bulkhead made his way forward to inspect the other one. At the same time both Bulkheads showed their wrecking ball hand. “Woah! Twins!” Both of them said at the same time.
“Bulk, please never do that again,” Miko looked at them in joking fear. “You remind me of the twins from that one horror movie.”
“Aww come on Miko! It’s not everyday you meet, well, yourself!” Bulkhead grumbled.
“Can we focus on the situation, please?” A gray mech asked. They looked strikingly like Megatron. The next second, almost everyone in the room had their guns trained on him.
He quickly backed up with his hands above his heads. One Optimus stood in front of him, hands up. “Woah, this Megatron is an autobot now! He’s alright.”
Everyone squinted or glared at him. Generation One’s Optimus didn’t back down. “I can’t speak for anyone else, but I know for certain that I’m not cool with Megatron being here.”
You turned to him, gaping. “Did you just say ‘cool’? What?”
Jazz laughed aloud. “Yeah, that’s Op for ya! He just started learning Earth slang from Spike!”
“Alright, enough!” All of the Ratchets shouted at once. Everyone looked at them. A good eighty percent of the room burst into giggles or tried their best to stop that urge.
“Looks like no matter what dimension you go to, Ratchet’s always the same.” Wheeljack said. A chorus of varied agreements sounded through the room, making the renowned grouches grumble.
Soon enough, you all began figuring out how you were all there. It was pretty much the same for everyone- one way or another, a yellow light ran over them.
You all started constructing various groundbridges in hopes that it could somehow send you home.
You often hung out with your Prime, making everyone else curious about your relationship. You could almost always be seen on his shoulder or in his servo. You almost never walked anywhere.
It was pretty obvious to everyone- except a few of the younger bots like animated Bumblebee and Knightverse Bumblebee.
Bayverse Prime (with his never ending confidence) was the first to approach you. “Hello, (Y/N). Would you like to go on a walk with me?” He held his hand out. You stepped onto his hand and sat down.
As he made his way out of base, everyone watched you two. Primeverse Optimus couldn’t help but feel a pang in his chest as you both walked out. He knew that he didn’t have a right to feel that way- you two weren’t even together. Not yet, at least.
Everyone noticed the look on his face even though he himself didn’t.
All of the Ratchets had the same thought: ‘Primes (Derogatory)’.
Optimus from the Animated universe was confused. He was normally pretty in tune with his emotions, and he doesn’t see why Prime Optimus doesn’t just ask you out. He’d been trying to subtly hint at that, but Prime Optimus was somehow oblivious. Animated Optimus also wondered if you existed in his universe- you were very charming and, he’s embarrassed to say, cute.
G1 Optimus teased your Optimus on the subject. He always mentioned how back in his day he was a spark breaker. Earthspark Optimus always tried to scold G1 Optimus for his behaviors, but then G1 Jazz would join in on the teasing so he’d have to chase both of them around.
Earthspark Optimus would comfort him, trying to encourage him gently to follow his spark. While he’ll never understand the attraction to a human, he believes that it’s not really his business. Even Earthspark Megatron gave fairly good advice to the other bot.
Bayverse Ironhide sort of agreed with their advice- but also warned the Prime. “If you wait too long, they’ll find another. Make something of yourself, Prime!”
You both stopped at a pond and he sat down on the ground. He placed you gently next to him as he threw seeds into the water. You both watched as fish swam to the surface and bobbed up and down to try and snag a treat.
“Are you and my counterpart… together?”
A flushed look covered your face as you snapped your head towards him. “Wh-n- I-” You covered your face with your hands. “No, we aren’t together.”
“Ah. I see.” Bayverse Optimus had a lot more experience with this sort of thing. “So you have feelings for him, then?”
Your face got impossibly warmer and simply nodded. “We haven’t been dating so to say… but we’re really close. I would just never have the guts to… you know.”
Bayverse Optimus merely nodded at you and left you at the pond by yourself. When he got back into the base he and Ironhide grabbed the Prime by his arms and began dragging him off. The other Primes and Ratchets knew exactly what was going on and followed.
When they got into a more secluded room of the base, they set him down and pushed him into a chair. Primeverse Optimus was confused and a little anxious as the many bots surrounded him.
“When are you going to ask them out?” G1 Optimus teased.
Primverse merely shook his head. “I don’t think that is a good idea at the moment. There’s a war go-”
“Oh stop being a fragging boltbrain!” Bayverse Ratchet yelled.
“They have been waiting for you to ask them out for months now!” Primeverse Ratchet yelled.
His eyes widened at that knowledge. “I don’t know.”
“Fine, I guess I’ll go ask the lil’ lady on a date then.” Jazz began to strut out of the room when Optimus shouted for him to stop.
“What should I say?” Primeverse Optimus questioned.
“Alright, so here’s what you say.”
While you were at the pond, a gathering of girls and femme bots surrounded you.
“So he still hasn’t asked you out yet?!” The Arcees were shocked.
“Yeah, you’d think he would have by now, right?” Their counterpart from Primeverse shook her head. “I think he’s just worried about the war.”
Miko threw her hands over her head. “So?! He needs to get the girl!”
Your hands were holding your face yet again. Prowl gently laid a hand on your shoulder. “Don’t worry, (Y/N). Good things come in time- and some bots,” he glared at everyone else, “Shouldn’t rush it.”
You smiled up at the ninjabot. “Thanks, Prowl.”
He smiled back, though irritated at the situation. Some bots were so nosy and loud. They always had to get into everything and couldn’t leave well enough alone.
Suddenly you were swept up by Jazz, who yelled out “Sorry, I’m borrowing the lil’ lady!” Prowl facepalmed as the girls cheered.
You and Optimus were shoved into a room together. The large bot offered a hand to you which you stepped onto. He raised you up to eye level.
“I” He paused to get his words together. “I have had feelings for you for a while. I know that we’ve been friends for a while, and just friends. I have no clue if you share the sa-”
“If you’re asking me out, the answer is yes.” You planted a shy kiss on his faceplate. The Prime’s cheeks grew a flushed blue. Suddenly confetti streamers fell on the two of you. You both looked up to see Miko, Animated Bee, and Sari in the rafters. A bucket fell on Optimus’ head which made the rafter bound group wince.
“Uh.. congrats?” Bumblebee quickly grabbed the other two kids and bolted.
You and Optimus chuckled as he brought you up to his faceplate for another kiss.
ALTERNATIVE ENDING:
You and Optimus were shoved into a room together. The large bot offered a hand to you which you stepped onto. He raised you up to eye level. “I-” he paused to get his words together. “Well, my name is Optimus Prime, yo! The other primes are my friends, yo! Uh-huh, they told me everything.”
You looked up at Optimus in confusion, about to say something when he continued.
“And I like you a lot, yo!”
Outside the door, everyone looked at Jazz with glares. He just shrugged as a grin pulled at his face. "What? I’m sure it will work.”
#jazz#optimus prime#transformers bayverse#transformers animated#g1#tf g1#transformers prime#maccaddam#ratchet#miko#sari#transformers x reader#tfe#transformers earthspark#tfp#tfb#tmv#optimus x reader#optimus prime x reader#prowl#arcee#sari sumbac#miko nakadai#bumblebee#transformers bumblebee#breaking bad#breaking bad reference#oopsineedtostopmakingbreakingbadreferences
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TMP 11- IMPLICATIONS OF ALICE'S PARANOIA
OKAY OKAY-
ALICE IS BEING PARANOID ABOUT SOMEONE FOLLOWING HER. This could mean a couple of things, and all outcomes are REALLY interesting:
Nothing is following her, but the effects of the Magnus Institute (i.e. THE EYE) are feeding on her fear by making her feel like she is. That has serious implications for the wider lore of protocol so far. Not to mention, it would mean bad news for Alice- we all know where that kind of paranoia leads [extended sounds of brutal pipe murder].
Mr. Bonzo is following her- less likely I think, but still possible! And honestly the idea of AU Mr. Blobby being an evil, government-hired, supernatural operative is still so funny to me, so I'll take it.
[ERROR] is following her- THIS WOULD BE SO GOOD. Whether the physical entity (for lack of a better word atm) is stalking her, keeping just out of reach, or the manifestation of it being nearby is causing trailing paranoia, again as a result of being so near the ruins, this is so interesting. Even if it isn't the case, I am dying to find out who/what [ERROR] is.
None of the above- this could be an entirely new entity or avatar or person that we haven't met yet! That would be a super cool way to introduce them.
As to whether [ERROR] is Jon or Martin or Jonah, or someone else from the TMA universe, or a new big bad of the podcast, I think we'll just have to wait and see.
Either way, I am so so excited at this development.
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New wonder kid- Fermin Lopez
These last few months have been absolutely crazy and there was absolutely no warning or time to prepare. My boyfriend Fermin has played football for his entire life and he has been under Barcelonas academy for a long time as well. Over the preseason he began training with the first team which was a huge achievement for him and I was so incredibly proud but I could never have predicted what it would lead to. Fermin went on the preseason tour expecting to maybe get a few minutes at the end of games which he did but no one expected him to burst onto the scene and play so well. When he scored in the Classico I was so excited and proud of him I couldn't sleep that night. Since preseason Fermin has been with the first team for every game and I've never seen him so motivated every day when he goes to training.
As much as it has been wonderful to see Fermin finally achieving his dreams all of this has brought about a lot of changes in our lives. The two of us have been together for a long time and him playing football has never really been a big deal sure he has training a lot and I will go to his games but it's never been more than that. Now with the media getting involved things have just spiralled out of control. People are always stopping Fermin in the street and asking him to sign things while he is driving to training. The change happened so quickly it's been hard to keep up let alone to cope with it all. Before we would happily go our together to do things or go on dates just like any other couple but now I'm too scared of what might happen to even go outside with Fermin.
I have always just been a normal girl I went to school like everyone else and now I am studying at university. There is absolutely nothing interesting about me whatsoever my family don't have loads of money and they don't have hugely important jobs we are all just a normal family. This is why I'm so scared of being seen with my own boyfriend now as I just know people are going to try and find out everything they can about me and judge me for being a normal person. I have also never been a big fan of social media sure I use it occasionally but my life isn't on there so the thought of people possibly taking pictures of me and Fermin out together and putting them on social media scares me as then everything is out of my control.
With Fermin's new schedule the two of us haven't had as many date nights as we usually would and when we do they are always us just chilling in the apartment together. This has been perfect as it has meant I haven't had to tell Fermin about my stupid fears or have him think I don't want to be with him anymore because I really do. However my luck is running out as recently Fermin has been begging me to go to one of the games and I'm beginning to run out of excuses, saying I have work to do can only get me so far before he starts to get suspicious. There is another home game this weekend which he has been begging me to go to as he scored in the teams last game and he wants me to be there to finally watch him play on the big stage in person. All week I've been telling Fermin that I would try and get my work done in time to be able to go which is just a coverup for me to either gather the confidence or come up with a better excuse, neither of which are going well.
I had the day off of classes today so I have been working on assignments and just sitting and thinking for most of the day. I finished some of my work and have been chilling on my phone looking at football gossip pages which only makes me more anxious about my situation as I see what fans say about players rumours partners and wonder what they would say about me as I'm not a model like most other girl. Just as I was beginning to go down a deep rabbit hole the door opened and a tired looking Fermin came in.
"Hi amor how was your day?" I asked
"It was good but training was long and hard today" he said
"How about you relax and I make us some dinner, what do you fancy?" I asked
"Can we just sit for a bit first I've missed spending time with you" he said
"Of course come and cuddle with me" I smiled opening my arms for him
He laid down on my chest and I began to run my fingers through his hair which usually relaxes him but I could feel he was still a little tense which meant there was something on his mind still. Fermin is one of those who can worry about a lot of little things thats one of the things we are alike in so overtime I've learnt to know when its something I should be concerned about and when it isn't and this seems like something I should ask about.
"What's on your mind Fer?" I asked
"Do you still love me?" He asked right back
"What of course I do I love you so much why do you ask" I said
"I just feel like you don't want to be around me anymore you used to always come to my games and now I can't get you to even come to one" he said
"Oh amor I'm sorry if I made you feel like that but the reason is because I'm nervous everyone knows who you are now and thats great but I don't know if I'm comfortable with all the attention it would garner if we went out together" I explained
"So you still want to go places with me you are just scared" he questioned
"Yeah I've seen what fans say about all these models other players are dating and I'm just a normal person I'm not anything special so I don't even want to know what they would have to say about me" I said
"I understand carino but I promise you that no matter what people think I know my feelings for you and nothing will change that I want to show you off and bring you along on this journey too so please come to the game this weekend I promise I'll do everything I can to protect you" he said
"I trust you so I'll got but I can't promise that I won't be nervous" I laughed
"I get that but I want you to have fun too" he said
"I will definitely have fun I always do when watching you" I said
~~~~~~~~~~
Today is finally match day and to be honest I think I'm more nervous than I am excited. This day has been on my mind all week and last night I didn't sleep at all because all I was thinking about was everything that could go wrong today and what people might be saying on social media after the game. I know it's such a stupid thing to worry about and in the grand scheme of things this moment won't matter especially when Fermin is celebrating winning trophies but right now it seems like a big deal. Before Fermin and I got together I was deeply insecure and he has helped me so much and now I'm in a much better place so I really don't want to go back but I can't control the comments and I certainly can't predict how I will cope with them.
Since he woke up Fermin has been trying to keep me distracted and reassure me that everything will be ok. He is doing everything he can but today he can't beat the demons that still live in the back of my brain. As much as I admired my fears to him I never told Fermin the full extent of my worries as he worries about me enough already and he needs to be focused for the game so I don't want him to have anything extra on his mind. If he knew he'd tell me that he doesn't care and he just wants to help me but I care about him too much to have him stressing about me when I can cope on my own.
The day felt like it went by at lightening speed and before I knew it Fermin was telling to to get ready as we needed to leave. Once we got in the car Fermin's hand grabbed mine straight away and he held it tightly squeezing it every now and then to reassure me. Most of the drive was fine but as we got close to the training ground there was a lot more fans in the streets who all had their phones out taking pictures and filming. That's when it really hit me that there is no going back now from now on I'll be known as Fermin's girlfriend and some people will actually care about what I do. I could feel myself getting more and more anxious as we got closer to the training centre and there was so many people on the pavements and in the road it was just very overwhelming.
Finally when the car stopped I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding as well as I sigh of relief knowing that the worst part was over. I was so in my own world that I didn't hear Fermin talking to me until he put his hand on my cheek and turned me to face him. For some reason I expected him to be mad at me for not listening or for getting anxious but his expression was soft and his eyes had a loving look in them.
"Are you ok amor?" He asked
"I'm ok now that was intense I can't believe you deal with that everyday" I said
"You get used to it but do you promise you are ok" he said
"Yeah I promise thank you for holding my hand it made it a lot easier" I replied
With that he got out the car and ran around to open my door for me like he always does so we could head inside before the team head off to the stadium. Fermin got permission from Xavi to let me come on the coach with them because he didn't want me to have to go alone which I'm glad about as having to navigate the stadium on my own sounds stressful. He promised that he wouldn't leave me on my own at any point so when we got inside he text Gavi who was already ready to leave and he waited with me while Fermin got ready himself. I have known Gavi for the longest time but with him playing for the first team I don't get to see him as much as I used to so by actually going places with Fermin I should get to spend more time with some old friends.
"Good to see you again hermana how have you been? Gavi asked
"I've been good busy with school as usual what about you?" I replied
"Same as always I'm glad you agreed to come Fermin has been so happy ever since plus its nice to have you around" he said
"Thats sweet I'm glad he's excited" I smiled thinking about Fermin
"I know you're nervous but I promise everything will be fine the other girlfriends know you're coming and they can't wait to meet you plus once the fans get to know you there is no way they can hate you and if they do there is something wrong with them" he said
"Thanks gavi I really appreciate you saying that" I said
After that Fermin came rushing out and grabbed my hand again so we could get on the bus. The trip luckily wasn't long and once everyone was inside I met all of the other wives and girlfriends who were at the game and we all sat together getting to know each other. The longer I was there the more I began to relax as they have all been through this before and they are all ok and happy in their relationships which made the future seem not so scary. They were all so lovely and made me feel instantly welcome in the group they even added me to their group chat so we could all meet up at some point.
Before I knew it the game had begun and was over the team win and Fermin scored an important goal. I was so proud of him and I couldn't wait to see him so I rushed down to greet him after he was ready. As soon as I saw him I jumped into his arms which he wasn't expecting but he still managed to catch me and stay on his feet. I don't think either of us could have a bigger smile on our faces even if we wanted to I was so over the moon that he scored and he was so happy he could've done it with me there. Even when he scored he dedicated the goal to me like he always used to which made the moment so special to the point that I didn't care when the camera pointed towards me. I kissed him a few times before he put me down and we made it back outside to team bus so we could finally go home which I can't wait for as it's been a long day.
~~~~~~~~~~
As always Fermin's alarm woke me up even though it's Sunday because he's insane and likes to get up and go to the gym. Usually I go back to sleep straight away especially on a weekend but today I sat up and grabbed my phone because I wanted to look at what was being said after yesterday. I know Fermin posted a picture of us so that any rumours were cleared up straight away but I haven't seen it so I wanted to just look at everything. I had only just unlocked my phone when Fermin came back in from the bathroom and took it right out my hands.
"Sorry but I think it's best if you don't look at this today" he said
"I'll be fine I promise" I said trying to convince him to give my phone back
"Not happening I'm keeping home of this today and you can have it back when things have calmed down tomorrow if anything important happens I will tell you" he said
"Are things really that bad?" I asked
"No most comments are nice I just don't want you searching for the few bad comments" he says
"You know me too well" I laughed
"How about you come to the gym with me and we spend the day together so you are distracted plus I have missed your cuddles" he said
"I very much like that idea" I replied
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Izzy, Bottles, and Apologies
Izzy's arc in S2 has been a wild ride.
The S1 Izzy enjoyers are feeling vindicated as hell, many people are fully revising their opinion of him, and the people still hating him have a new criticism or off the wall theory daily. David Jenkins LOVES Izzy and is having the time of his life trying to make sure everyone else does too. They had Con O'Neill sing in drag!
And naturally I have thoughts.
This is gonna be a two part post, I think. First, as much as people are celebrating Izzy having realized his arc and come into his own - from the singing to the apparent BlackBonnet shipping - there are some threads they could pull on that might reveal more arc to come. And I am really hoping they pull them, so I'm gonna tell you why you should too!
And second, I have some minor points I dislike and concerns that this might be the end of the arc. Which would be disappointing but I think I get why, so I'm gonna discuss that too.
To start...
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"How are you handling all this so well?"
Here's the thing about S2 Izzy - while I need to be clear his behavior is not OOC or inconsistent with S1, it is happening rather fast. I'm pretty sure that has a lot to do with out of universe reasons I'll get into later, but in-universe it stands out. Now, he's hardly the only one operating on an accelerated schedule - the timeline for this season is an insanely fast not-even-two-weeks - but Izzy's defining struggle in S1 was fear of change. That was the cause of his friction with Edward, and what made him an antagonist in the first place.
In S2 he's gone through a lot of trauma, yes, but that fear is noticeably less present than I would expect.
Izzy in 2x06 has been cleaned up from his sobbing mess phase for just over 48 hours and he faces Edward with a joke, and then that night sings a moving French serenade to the crew. The next morning he's teasing them about finally hooking up and spends the day offering both Stede and Edward relationship advice.
He's a newly realized man... shedding repression and embracing who he could be. Accepting his breakup with Edward and trying to openly support the relationship that's better for him.
It's fun!
It's also, potentially, a bit of a flag. Maybe not a red one, not yet, but... pink-ish? A bit orange?
Let's look a little closer at those frayed edges.
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"Well, you see, I have a system..."
There's an exchange from right at the start of the Pilot episode that has echoed through the entire series so far:
"Bottle it up?" -> "No, Frenchie! No, that's the worst thing you could do!"
Not talking to other people, not addressing your traumas... that's the kind of shit that just builds and builds inside you. When the cork eventually pops, the resulting damage can be a lot. Look at the finale of S1, where all of Stede's bottled up guilt and insecurities laid waste to his relationship with Edward, and then inadvertently became the first domino in the Kraken.
S2 is quick to bring this scene back into the forefront. The first time we see the Breakup Boat crew talking in 2x01, Frenchie reveals that "Bottle it up?" wasn't just a random comment he made, but a philosophy of his:
"Ah - well, you see, I have a system for dealing with all the terrible things I've seen. There's a box, in my mind, and I put the things in the box, I lock the box, and then I don't open it again. Works like a charm."
Apparently, Frenchie is the only one it actually seems to be working for.
Now, the show has been drawing some interesting lines between Frenchie and Izzy. From both serving as Blackbeard's First Mate to being frequently shown as a duo - tormenting Navy guys together on Sunday's raid, Frenchie holding Izzy's hand, Frenchie leaning on Izzy's leg in the cell, Frenchie behind him raising the flag in 2x05 - it's fitting that Izzy echoes Frenchie's preferred coping method. First he frames the non-acknowledgement of harm from Edward as just... part of piracy. He's a pirate, so he's fine with it.
And then we get Izzy's little whittled shark reveal and the conversation with Lucius about his leg:
"I don't know what you're talking about. Shark did this... dangling my legs over the side of the ship. Served me right, too."
Lucius calls him out on the unhealthy behavior, and Izzy concedes his point:
"O-kay, that seems healthy. Using a bit of fiction to help cover up your trauma." -> "Yeah, well... not moving on is worse. Twatty."
And to give him credit, he's right in his advice to Lucius. Filling his sketchbook with pages and pages of Blackbeard trauma is Lucius's form of bottling it up - thinking in endless recursive circles about his tumble off the ship and everything that followed. We already know chasing revenge instead of living is bad - Jim and Spanish Jackie established it last season, and Pete just echoed them. When Izzy advises Lucius to move on, that's what Lucius does.
But what Izzy is doing with the shark? That's not the same thing at all. He's lost a leg, grazed a bullet off his own head, and was snarling drunken accusations at himself in the mirror... he's not moving on from that. He's bottling it up with a nice dose of self-blame.
Cutting the legs off the unicorn for not doing it's job right and saying "served me right" about his fictional shark? There's a real dark knot of emotions there.
(Recall, too, that Edward deflected his hurt from Stede's abandonment into a "fictional character" during his chats with Lucius, and that delayed the explosion but couldn't stop it.)
So... Izzy's definitely coping with trauma in a way the show does not advise and often circles back to. Can we see any signs in 2x06 and 2x07?
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The Weight of Things Unsaid
At the very start of 2x06, Izzy gets the thing he spent all of 2x05 mentally bracing himself to never hear - an apology from Edward for his leg. He walks up to initiate conversation and begins talking like nothing has changed. Edward is back in his leathers. Appropriate, given that his penance onesie was nothing genuine, just "how long do I have to wear this fucking thing for?" And Izzy is ready for them not to address the obvious hurt, to just smooth over a few jabs and go back to normal... but even Edward's mumbled little "Sorry about your leg" is so significant and difficult he flees as soon as he gets it out, leaving Izzy to sit, incredulous, with the acknowledgement.
It's still almost definitely not enough.
There was so much between them in 2x01 - 2x03. The writers literally did BlackHands love confessions on both sides. An apology from Edward Teach - a man who historically does not apologize - is a huge first step but still only the first step. The real things unsaid are so much bigger than a leg.
We get something else, too... Edward commenting on Izzy's drinking.
"Jesus. Really putting that away, aren't ya?"
Izzy has had booze a lot this season. He lost a leg and pain meds aren't really an option, so not surprising, but notable. Edward, advocating for substance abuse to deal with bad feelings, calls him a lightweight in 2x01. When they are found with the dead seabird in 2x03, Izzy takes a pointed drink from his bottle, and then 2x04 he spends the entire episode completely plastered. He seemingly sobered up for 2x05 - probably to focus on sword training and his whittling project - but now the bottle is back again before Izzy disappears for several hours.
And a little liquid courage might explain his going all in for the Calypso's Birthday performance.
I do appreciate that the performance on it's face is something completely unexpected for Izzy, but when thinking about it... it does make sense.
We already know music and performance were available on Blackbeard's ship even before Stede. Edward learned to play shanties on the piano somewhere, and singing is a common and encouraged part of sailing culture. Izzy's choice of song to perform is something a lot more emotional, but this is probably not his first performance for a crew.
Makeup, too, is in fashion for men and women at this time, and OFMD has shown it as such before. Izzy has never worn fashion makeup, or tried to be beautiful, but the concept wouldn't be alien to him. Wee John's description of a dramatic party look might even have intrigued him specifically because Izzy has actually done "looks" before - of the terrifying "theatre of fear" kind. The Kraken did have his whole crew in makeup for their raids. Taking the opportunity to embody something a bit more vulnerable and try to bring joy to this crew that took care of him is meaningful as fuck.
And it's still a drag performance!
It's a good pair of moments - before and after Ned. Proof that all this isn't just coping method - that's not what I'm arguing here - and even if Izzy's still bottling up a lot of feelings he's not doing the same full pressure bomb thing as he did in S1. There's been growth!
(This is why the flags are only pink-ish / orange-ish right now.)
Episode 2x07 though... I'm not so sure he's doing good as much as pretending it's all good.
Showing up to make his joke in the morning is a fun moment. I especially enjoy Edward's little "fuck off" with no bite to it 🤣🤣🤣 Reminder they do live together on a ship, so this is likely not even close to the first morning-after that Izzy has gotten front row seats to. But, at least to me, there's also a very performative feeling about it. Izzy being very Look how normal I can be about you fucking your boyfriend, Ed - and Edward picks up on it too. That's why he turns to Stede and whispers "He's jealous" as Izzy walks away.
Izzy continues to make jokes and give advice through the day to our main couple, but he's... subdued. I think his fake chill also disguises that he and Edward aren't on the same page about what they discuss at the docks, hence his poor advice to "listen to it" when the "it" in question is Edward's immediate desire to run away from Stede and become a fisherman. They are talking again, but haven't resumed communicating.
I also think it's relevant that Izzy goes to try and support Stede after Edward dumps him, because we're still waiting for Stede to stop bottling things up. He doesn't talk about Badminton or feelings of inadequacy or even the babiest little olive branch to Edward about "hey my dad kinda sucked too." Edward's two exes are sitting in the bar corner together, thinking about all the shit they won't talk to him about until it kills all three of them. Exciting!
The pressure is building. It has to circle back to Stede in S3. I'm hoping at the same time, it circles back to Izzy, too.
Hoping we get to explore some of his anxiety, and his internalizing negative self-image and blame. At the moment, I think Izzy might have less gotten over his anxieties and more just let go of the wheel of his life entirely, and fortunately had people around to steer him in okay directions. It would be really interesting to explore that more.
(Even if I have some concerns they may not.)
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Subtle as a Cannonball to the Face
Izzy's character arc was always going to be a long journey - not because he was somehow morally worse than everyone else, or required particularly painstaking growth, or even because there was going to be some great need to "hold him accountable" for S1. No, it was going to be a long journey from an antagonist start for the same reason I mentioned earlier: Izzy's core struggle is fear of change.
OFMD opens with two protagonists recklessly pursuing change in ways that harm themselves, their relationships, and others, and a primary onscreen antagonist resisting change in a way that harms himself, his relationships, and others. There's no easy morality here - they all fuck up. And they all require the entire show to actually figure out the correct balance of change and growth and facing the past.
"I think the three of them are on an arc together that's pretty inseparable." - David Jenkins (Source, 9 Oct 2023)
So... why is there a chance that everything I've mentioned above is going absolutely nowhere and Izzy's arc has been wrapped up with a bow in S2?
Well.
It's late March 2022, the fandom's age is still only countable in weeks, I personally haven't even watched the pilot yet, had only even heard of the show 3 days before... and one of David Jenkins first post-finale statements is telling people to pay attention to Izzy's POV and his and Edward's love story on rewatches (Source, 25 Mar 2022), and then soon after comparing Stede to a homewrecker in Edward and Izzy's toxic marriage (Source, 15 Apr 2022). Lots of links because this stuff was available to the fandom from the start.
By the first half of May 2022 (while poor Mr. Jenkins is still anxiously trying to get his series renewed for S2, since the confirmation won't come until June 1) the takes on Izzy have soured a lot. It's not a "homophobic gay" joke anymore. Now it's "Izzy is the embodiment of colonialism who enforces a racist and homophobic ideal of Blackbeard on Edward" and "pretending Izzy could be canonically gay is homophobic" and "Izzy bought Edward as a slave from the British". Harassing anons have already started on tumblr. No first hand experience with Twitter but I've heard horror stories. These takes are spreading like wildfire through the fandom, with a heavy backing of white fans accepting and spreading anything that sounds vaguely racially-conscious as something they just missed in their privilege and need to listen to POC about. Or listen to other white fans that say they've been listening to POC.
The anchor hoist in 1x09 (that was a complete directing coincidence, as the crew confirmed in late May) is being taken as incontrovertible proof that Izzy is a violent racist, and the relatively small Izzy fandom pushing back against any of these reads is being likened to toxic fangirls declaring Kylo Ren a poor widdle victim because they think violent white guys are so hot their brains fall out. This is happening loudly and in the public forums of social media.
Can you imagine being David Jenkins right then?
This is one of your favorite little guys, who you wrote a silly little homoerotic pirate jealousy arc for. He's kinda cringefail and tends to be a dick, but you cast a guy who you think embodies him with so much sympathy and genuine emotion. You're so excited to explore his direct relationship to the main couple of your series even more. Unfortunately, you and a lot of the cast and crew are also engaging maybe a bit too much in fandom spaces, which very few of you have much familiarity with navigating as creators. AND there's still renewal stress!
If I were him, I too would consider that perhaps my intended Izzy arc was a bit too nuanced and drawn out, and maybe I needed to clear up some misconceptions as soon as I got the opportunity.
Enter S2.
MAX reduced the budget for the season significantly and it shows - particularly in the whole thing having to squeeze into 8 episodes - and I wouldn't be surprised at all if worries over a S3 renewal / S3 budget impacted S2 writing as well. Character arcs got pinched, goals had to be prioritized... and from the looks of the season, "make sure everyone knows Izzy is not a homophobic villain tormenting Edward as fast as possible" came out as a big goal.
I mean they open with a dream sequence that literally mocks the idea of a heroic Stede rescuing Edward from the dastardly Izzy. It's not subtle.
And the lack of subtlety is kind of what's concerning me.
Izzy's arc is (I think) leaving enough threads that they can extend it into S3 with the reveal he's not actually fine and done developing, but they also seem to want his S2 arc to end in a place where maybe he is. Lots of giant signs pointing to him and saying "Look! Everyone likes him!" or "Look! He's also gay!" at the expense of some of his cringefail or dickish charm. My guy had anxiety he dealt with poorly in S1, and I do think they are trying to frontload or adjust the arc so he's basically (or at least seemingly) over that before the next hiatus.
The best way I've seen it described is that the show no longer trusts the audience to pick up what they are putting down, and so they feel the need to really hammer it in. Not necessarily OOC, but definitely de-emphasizing any of his rough edges that were originally just written to not be any worse than the other characters.
This is why Izzy gets shot by Edward in the very first episode for a bunch of complicated reasons that are really good character work and not super hard to discern, but then later they have Izzy point out to Stede why he got shot twice. It's all very "look into the camera and say the themes", because to some degree they are afraid everyone is going to get easily convinced Edward shot him for calling him a namby-pamby that one time.
It makes me worried they are too afraid of misinterpretation to commit to the arc they originally conceived of, even with the finish line in sight in S3.
And, again, I get it, Mr. Jenkins. In October 2022 he made a funny quip and a boner joke on a tweet about Edward's blanket fort and the hordes descended to scream victoriously about how he was cutting down the Izzy stans for their racist infantilization crimes of thinking Izzy would *checks notes* help hold up a blanket. It's a very reasonable conclusion that this fandom cannot read and needs to be spoonfed Izzy's arc.
It just sucks that a toxic section of fandom's misinterpretations appear to have undercut a strong - and, honestly, not that complicated - character arc so much that S2's BlackBonnet arc can be about fuck ups and backsliding, but Izzy needs at least the illusion of having no flaws left come hiatus time.
#our flag means death#ofmd s2#ofmd s2 spoilers#ofmd meta#my meta#izzy hands ofmd#izzy hands#character arcs#ofmd 2x06#ofmd 2x07#and here's my associated izzy meta because i love to talk about both my blorbos lol#ladyluscinia#david jenkins
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