#thank you so much to everyone who took part
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"in the end, it's still you." p3.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ synopsis: after you made your decision to leave your jujutsu sorcerer life behind, you find yourself longing for what once was and risking more than what you bargained for.
➼ pairing: gojo satoru x fem!reader, geto suguru x fem!reader
➼ content/warnings: sfw, endless amounts of angst, sprinkles of fluff, heavy jujutsu kaisen 0 film spoilers, heartbreak, regret, unrequited love, death, blood, pet names, sorcerer!reader
➼ wc: 5.4K words
➼ a/n: this is the final part of this little angst series of mine. thank you so much to everyone for the amount of love you've given these three. as always, likes and reblogs are appreciated ♡
➼ part one, part two, part three
Today was the day. Suguru had coined it as the Night Parade of a Hundred Demons where he intended on releasing thousands of curses across Japan, focusing the epicenters of the attack in Shinjuku and Kyoto.
To say that your life had drastically changed over the last few years would be an understatement. Finding refuge in a grand temple located far away from the eyes of Tokyo, Suguru built himself a cult following. He spent his days collecting money from his loyal followers while also exorcising curses from non-sorcerers who sought him out, deeming him as a god for his “cleansing” talents.
Within this time, your days were simpler. Instead of waking up to the dread of having to fight curse after curse, you spent your time focusing on the little things that brought you joy. You started a little garden that was lush with a variety of flowers and greenery. Thanks to the seclusion of your new home, it made stargazing look something straight out of a fantasy, the night sky always twinkling with millions of stars. With all the extra time, you had many opportunities to curl up with a good book without having to worry about another mission.
Since that fateful night in the village, Nanako and Mimiko became attached to your hip. You became the mother figure they’ve always dreamt of. You loved the girls like your own, spending the majority of your time nurturing them from toddlerhood into the beautiful teens they were now. You were living the simple life you envisioned back in your teen years.
You knew when you left your old life behind that life would be different. Change was inevitable. You just didn’t expect for it to manifest in the man you ran away with.
Suguru took care of you exceptionally well. He made sure you were well fed and gifted you with the prettiest clothes, occasionally leaving small tokens of appreciation for you for embarking on this journey with him. Whatever you heart desired, it was in your hands no sooner than you can think of it. More importantly, no matter how busy he was, he always found time to keep you company. You, as well as the twins, remained his main priority. His beautiful girls.
You watched Suguru slowly become consumed with the idea of jujutsu sorcerers being the superior race. On the outside, he put up an amiable persona in front of normal humans who came to him for guidance in order to collect their curses. On the inside, he loathed their very existence, finding their presence alone to be unbearable and swearing they filled the air surrounding him with a disgusting stench.
Monkeys, he would call them. You hated the term.
He had come to you in the kitchen one day with the biggest grin on his face. It was the happiest you’ve ever seen him in your entire time of knowing him. Pouring yourself a glass of water from the faucet, you leaned your back against the edge of the sink in interest.
“The time has finally come!” he proclaimed as he walked up to you, hands behind his head in a relaxed manner.
“Oh?” you raised an eyebrow at him in curiosity. “And what time may that be?”
“My sources tell me that there is an interesting first year student by the name of Okkotsu Yuta at Tokyo High. He is cursed by a special grade spirit by the name of Orimoto Rika,” Suguru goes on to explain.
You felt an unsettling feeling in your stomach, not liking where this conversation was going. You hummed in response and raised the glass to your lips which he took as his cue to go on.
“I plan on retrieving her. The power she holds is the exact thing we need to put an end to every non-sorcerer in existence,” he sighed happily at what he believed was the light at the end of the tunnel.
Frowning, you replied, “...And how exactly do you plan to do that, Sugu?”
“By killing anyone that gets in my way starting with Tokyo Jujutsu High.”
The glass of water immediately slipped from your hands, seconds away from shattering onto the floor if not for Suguru’s incredible reflexes. Placing the still full cup on the counter, he observed the immense shock displayed in your eyes at his declaration. You wished that he was just pulling your leg and that he wasn’t really considering taking on such a risky and incredibly dangerous task. But a man of his word, you knew better than anyone that when Suguru said anything, he truly meant it.
“Geto Suguru,” his name leaving your lips in a slow drawl, “What in the actual fuck are you talking about?”
Leaning against the counter next to you, he crossed his arms and closed his eyes in thought. “It’s simple really. I will unleash the thousands of curses that I’ve meticulously collected over this past decade into the city. Two cities, in fact. While they send their forces to try and save as many pathetic monkeys as they can, I’ll go after the Okkotsu boy. If he decides not to join our side, that’s fine. I’ll just kill him for Rika instead.”
The more you listened to him explain in detail his plan, the more you found yourself looking at a complete stranger. This couldn’t possibly be the kind Suguru that you’ve known throughout your teens and entire twenties.
Had you really known him at all?
The incredulous look of concern and flash of fear across your face must have been hard to take in because Suguru’s demeanor immediately took on a more serious stance.
“(y/n),” he started to say your name and reached for your hand. This time, it was his turn to be shocked when you immediately yanked your hand away from his as if his touch burned you.
“Don’t,” you demand, taking a step away from him as you felt your blood begin to boil. “What the hell, Suguru?”
The man sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose at your hostile reaction, “I had a feeling you’d react like this.”
You scoffed at his reply, “Did you honestly expect for me to just be peachy about this idea? You’re talking about murdering millions of people! This isn’t what I agreed to when I decided to go on the run with you.”
“I was very upfront with you about my goals. I don’t know why you’re acting like this is something new,” Suguru argued, not liking the tone of your voice. “You made the big girl decision to come with me. Don’t tell me you’re regretting it now?”
You clenched your jaw at his audacity. “You didn’t give me a choice! I’m not the one who decided to go on a murderous killing spree at seventeen on a mission we were both assigned to,” you retorted in exasperation.
“But I stayed with you because I care about you, Suguru. If I didn’t, why would I leave my entire life behind to be here with you now?” you asked, feeling the anger in your veins shift to deep hurt. “You forget that I sacrificed a lot, too. Excuse me if I don’t agree with every choice you make along the way, especially this one.”
Running his hand through his dark locks, Suguru exhaled deeply. He rarely fought with you and he hated every minute you were anything less than happy with him. He angled his body to face you once more and placed his strong hands on your shoulders. When you didn’t instantly pull away from him, he tugged you closer to him and wrapped his arms around your shoulders.
“I’m sorry. I didn't forget how much you’ve sacrificed to be with me and I’m eternally grateful every day I see your face. I know this situation hasn’t been completely fair for you and I only have myself to blame for that,” he apologized sincerely.
“That being said, I’ve made my final decision. I won’t ask you to fight on the front lines nor do I expect you to do anything you don’t want to. You can stay here without needing to get involved or lift a finger. The decision is yours.”
Back to the present, you couldn’t shake the premonition that something really bad was going to happen. Your anxiety in your heart refused to dissipate with the uncertainty of what's to come looming over you. You hated this. You hated how this is what it all came down to.
You made it clear to Suguru that you weren’t going to take any innocent lives. However, you refused to sit still and play the waiting game while everyone was out fighting for their lives. Naturally, you set your heart on protecting your girls.
“Nanako, Mimiko,” you said to your phone via video chat, “Are you girls doing okay?”
“Everything is good so far, (y/n)-sama,” Nanako replied back and adjusted her phone so that she and her sister fit into one frame. “Where are you? Geto-sama said you’d be here.”
You responded, “I’m here. Just standing out of sight but still keeping an eye on you.”
Standing atop of some miscellaneous office building, you observed the large curse that housed the twins safely inside its mouth. You focused on manipulating your cursed energy to lower it to extreme minute levels in order to hide your presence, blending it with the large amount of cursed energy permeating in the air. Doing so made it difficult to pinpoint your exact location.
“How come you aren’t here directly with us?” Mimiko questioned, feeling slightly anxious but relieved to see your face even if it was through a screen.
You paused, taking a few seconds to think before answering carefully, “It’s complicated.”
How do you exactly tell them that the reason you were hiding to begin with was because you were hiding from the man of the hour?
Gojo Satoru.
You would be lying if you said a part of you didn’t long to see him. You did everything in your power to cut all ties with the strongest sorcerer a decade ago, although it hurt more than anything. You didn’t know if you could ever face him again, especially not now considering the circumstances with Suguru’s plot.
Did he even want to see you?
A pair of sweet voices called out to you and snapped you out of your thoughts. Looking back at your phone, you saw the looks of anticipation on the twins’ faces.
“Sorry, what did you girls say?” you sheepishly asked.
Nanako pouted adorably, repeating their question, “We asked if we could go to that crepe shop on Takeshita Street with you. Geto-sama promised he’d take us last time but it was closed by the time we got there.”
Chuckling, you nodded to their request. “Of course. When this is all over, we’ll take a girls trip together.”
“Promise?” they said in unison, holding their pinkies up to the screen.
You held your own pinky up and lightly tapped it against your phone. “I promise.”
On the other end, you heard Nanako’s notification sound go off. “They said they’re stepping up the plan and telling us to engage,” she informed you.
Biting your lip in apprehension, you sighed. “Please be careful, you two. Do not hesitate to call me immediately if something happens. Do you understand? I'll catch up with you in a few.”
The pair nodded, holding up their pinkies for emphasis promising you of their safety. Just as you were about to hang up the call, their soft voices caught your ears.
“(y/n)-sama?”
“Yes, my loves?” you answered with concern in your eyes watching them fidget nervously.
“I love you.”
You felt your heart squeeze at the declaration, warmth spreading in your chest as you smiled fondly at the two. They looked at you shyly with pink cheeks looking slightly embarrassed after voicing their affection together. When did they grow up so fast from the little five year olds they once were when you first met them?
“I love you, too. Both of you. See you soon,” you reciprocated, blowing a kiss to the camera.
The twins mirrored the gesture before hanging up. Focusing your eyes back to the curse they were inside, its mouth opened to reveal your precious girls. You waved goodbye to them despite them not being able to see you. Just as you were about to trail them, that unsettling feeling increased tenfold in your stomach. Something was wrong.
Suguru.
You dialed his number on your phone, pressing it to your ear only for the call to go straight to voicemail. This only made your anxiety worse. He never missed a call from you. Wracking your brain on where he could be, his previous words echoed in your mind.
“I’ll go after the Okkotsu boy. If he decides not to join our side, that’s fine. I’ll just kill him for Rika instead.”
Cursing under your breath, your legs began moving on their own.
Run faster.
You repeated the two words in your head like a mantra as you weaved through alleyways and every shortcut you could remember. Your lungs burned with the intensity of it demanding oxygen, but you refused to slow down the pace of your sprint. You were determined to make it back to Tokyo Jujutsu High.
You had to make it to Suguru.
Scanning the black veil that you knew Suguru had casted over the school, you managed to locate a hole that was made by something, or rather someone, else. Slipping through the opening, you finally stepped foot onto the grounds that you once called your home. You hurriedly followed the trails of blood and wreckage of what looked to be the after effects of a lethal fight.
You nearly collapsed as you felt the ground quake beneath your feet, the force of it catching you off guard. The air felt electrified with the sheer amount of cursed energy surrounding you. It terrified you. Despite your fear, you steeled yourself and ran towards where you felt the cursed energy was strongest.
Careening around another corner, you were relieved to see the backside of the man you were searching for. However, your relief was short-lived when you looked just beyond his figure down the path to see a young teenage boy.
There was no mistaking him as Okkotsu Yuta with his special grade curse Rika suspended beside him protectively and looking every bit as deadly as you heard. He was exchanging words with her that you couldn’t hear from where you stood. You saw the way Yuta intimately held her monstrous frame close to his face. The interaction was so full of tenderness and devotion, the kind that would risk it all in the name of love.
But that’s when you realized what was happening. He was sacrificing himself to Rika to release the limit on her cursed energy.
Hearing Rika passionately declare her love for Yuta, you looked in horror as she began gathering all of her raw cursed energy in full force. Flashes of purple and pink coalesced into one massive deadly black orb, a symbol of Rika’s eternal love for him.
And it was aimed directly at Suguru.
“SUGURU!”
You didn’t even hear yourself scream for him, your voice coming out in terror-stricken screech. It was like your body went into overdrive. In your moment of panic, you didn’t have time to think or feel, only running towards him with your heart beating loudly in your ears.
For Suguru, it all happened so quickly.
The moment he heard your voice, he whipped his head to you with eyes widened in alarm. You weren’t supposed to be here. He needed to figure out a way to get you as far away as possible from Rika.
Time almost stopped for the next few seconds.
There was a flash and a strong hand that shoved Suguru’s body back from where he was positioned. A waft of a familiar perfume. The feeling of soft tresses tickling his cheek. A blinding blue glow. He realized too late that it was you moving at an supersonic speed to stand in front of him, safeguarding him as you channeled all of your cursed energy to brace and harden your body for impact.
Then, Rika charged.
Destruction. Suguru’s curses were no match to the power of Rika’s concentrated cursed energy beam. Her attack left devastation in its wake, buildings blown down to their bare infrastructures, dust and debris clouding the pinkened sky, and a deep crater of the battlefield permanently indented into the ground.
For a moment, all you felt was searing pain enveloping your body. You didn’t even register the way Suguru seized you by the waist, jerking you away as he made a narrow escape with you just a second away from death’s door. Your vision faded to black as you closed your eyes.
When you next opened your eyes, the first thing you saw was the back of Suguru’s head. He was carrying you on his back, your arms around his neck and your body swaying in small jerky motions as he limped down the pathway with growing difficulty.
Good. He had made it, you thought to yourself in ease.
‘Made it’ was an understatement. The man was officially missing his entire right arm, the same arm he used to safely pull you away from Rika. Long black hair haphazardly let down, black yukata torn in half to reveal his bare toned torso, right eye swollen shut. He was lucky to have gotten away with just this.
He was only this lucky because of you. You had taken Rika’s attack head on. Even with you using your cursed energy as a shield, it wasn’t enough to stop the negative repercussions. Your injuries were severe. The strength of Rika’s blow left a gaping hole in the center of your chest a hair’s away from your heart, feeling sharp pains with every shallow breath you took. You could feel yourself bleeding out onto Suguru’s back, soaking his robe with crimson. Unable to feel any sensations in your legs, you suspected you were paralyzed from the waist down.
“Suguru,” your raspy voice croaked out.
“You finally opened those eyes, pretty girl. You had me worried for a moment there,” Suguru chuckled quietly.
The two of you fell into a calm silence, only the sounds of Suguru’s footsteps and your ragged breathing to be heard. You wanted to ask him so many questions. Where did Yuta and Rika go? What happens now? No matter how hard you tried to focus on moving your mouth you simply couldn’t, not having the strength to do so. Suguru was the first to break the silence.
“You shouldn’t have done that,” he said tiredly. His haggard face looked absolutely spent with his voice coming out no louder than a murmur. Only loud enough just for you to hear the regret and guilt in his speech.
You chuckled weakly, “Can you really say you were surprised?”
Suguru sighed in defeat, “I suppose not. Although I would have preferred if you had stayed with our girls. Now look at you.”
“That’s not very ‘Thank you for saving my life’ of you, Sugu,” you huffed, gently pinching his cheek in retaliation causing him to laugh lightly.
You felt your heart swell seeing Suguru smile and banter with you so freely. It reminded you of your earlier days back in high school when it was just you, him, and Satoru.
Satoru.
As you leaned your head on Suguru’s good shoulder, your mind drifted to the snowy haired man. It always did. You often wondered if he had changed much since you last saw him. Was he still that confident man that would give his all for the world? The same man that would have burned the world for you? What would your life be like if you had decided to go back to him that day in Shinjuku? So many questions that you would never have answers for. You knew that when you left Satoru that day, you had left your heart with him too.
If only you had the chance to tell him you loved him in person.
Feeling something rise in your chest, you were only able to squeeze Suguru’s shoulder in warning before you leaned to the side to vomit blood, the bodily fluid coming out in a viscous consistency. By the time you were done, you felt extremely weak. Your head felt fuzzy and the severe pain in your chest was beginning to subside the more you bled out.
“I’m dying, Suguru.”
Suguru’s grip on you faltered for a quick second before hoisting you upright on his back once more. He already knew it. He knew you were dying by the faraway look in your eyes and the way you could barely keep them open. You were losing too much blood too quickly. He had exhausted his cursed energy supply on Rika, only having the physical energy to carry you through pure willpower.
“Do you regret running away with me now?” he asks solemnly, slowing his pace down to not rock you too much.
You shook your head, “I don’t. I promised you that I would be there for you until the end.”
“Thank you for keeping your promise,” he expressed genuinely.
When you didn’t say anything else, he turned his head slightly to see you with your eyes closed. He momentarily panicked before he was consoled by the rise and fall of your back that indicated you were still here.
“(y/n)?” he calls, looking straight ahead and walking with no real destination in mind. You hummed in response to let him know you were listening.
“I love you.”
Despite living the last ten years of his life with you, this was the first time he had verbally expressed those three words to you, opting to show his affections for you through actions. But in your dying moments, he needed you to hear just how much he loved you, even if he knew you would never say them back the same way he meant it.
“I know. I always knew,” You smiled guiltily. “I do love you, Suguru. You’re always going to be my best friend. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t reciprocate your feelings no matter how hard I tried.”
Suguru nudged his head against yours in a comforting manner. He whispered, “It’s okay. I still love you regardless.”
Feeling exhaustion settle in your bones, you could barely fight the growing heaviness of your eye lids and a sense of calm lulling your senses. Resting your chin on Suguru’s shoulder, he felt your faint breath fan against his neck.
“Sugu,” the nickname sounding so painfully loving on your lips, “I’m sleepy.”
Suguru couldn’t bring himself to watch you die, staring straight ahead so you wouldn’t see the tears pooling in his eyes.
“Sleep, baby. I got you.”
With that, your eyes closed as you took your last breath, your arms around his neck slipping to fall at his sides.
Trudging down the narrow alleyway, Suguru shifted your frame to his front in order to rest your head against his hard chest. Your body was still warm as Suguru held you tighter against him, albeit a bit awkwardly considering the effects of the battle left him with only one arm. You looked so peaceful. If anyone didn’t know any better, they would have assumed you were just in a deep sleep. Only, you were forever in a dream that you would never wake up from.
Suguru felt like a failure. Despite his elaborate plan, he was unsuccessful in securing the special grade curse Rika from Okkotsu Yuta. Experiencing her power first hand, she was truly extraordinary. If he had gotten her, there would be no need to sneak around swallowing curses. He would have had the power to change the world like he wanted.
You wouldn’t have had to die for him.
If only he had a little more time. Hearing footsteps approaching him, Suguru smiled at the familiar presence. With great effort, Suguru carefully lowered you and himself against the wall and held you close.
“You’re late, Satoru,” he announced, his words devoid of any real malice. “To think you’d be the one here at my end. Is my family safe?
“Every last one of them managed to escape,” the special grade sorcerer replied in monotone.
Except you. Satoru took in your lifeless form that was brutally beaten and bloodied by what he assumed was the aftermath of Rika. Your hair was longer than when he last saw you in Shinjuku ten years ago. Your delicate hands that used to hold onto his so dearly were now battered. Bruises adorned your face, crimson from your wounds beginning to dry against your skin. Even after all these years of not seeing you, even in this state, you were still beautiful to him.
“Unlike you, I’m a kind man. You sent those two assuming I’d defeat them, didn’t you? To set Okkotsu off?” Suguru questioned the male, referring to the panda and cursed speech user.
Satoru answered, “I trusted that a man as principled as you wouldn’t kill off young sorcerers without a reason.”
Suguru tiredly smiled at his words. “Trust, huh? I didn’t think I still had any of that left.”
Gaze hardening, Satoru coldly responded, “I also trusted you to keep her safe.”
He knew he was being hypocritical. He spent years trying to seek you out and to bring you home. Once he did, he even considered quitting the sorcerer life to give you the normal life you wanted. Yet you didn’t want to be found and made it incredibly difficult to track you (and naturally Suguru.) The fact you survived this far to begin with was with Suguru’s help, which is more than what he had done. At least Suguru was able to give you some form of happiness. Although he never gave up looking for you, Satoru knew he should have done more to protect you.
And now he has to live with the fact that he couldn’t bring you back home anymore.
“It was always you, you know that?”
Tearing his eyes away from your lifeless form, Satoru wordlessly looked at his best friend who had a ghost of a smile on his lips.
“All of these years away, there wasn’t a day that she didn’t think about you. No matter how hard I tried to get her to reciprocate my love, to open her heart to me, her heart was always set on you,” Suguru admitted bittersweetly.
Satoru could only stand there stunned at the revelation. If Suguru was telling the truth, had you always loved him the way he loved you? Flashbacks of you played back in his mind like an old movie.
The way you would tenderly treat his wounds after he went a little too hard after a mission…
“I swear to god, Toru, you better not come back looking like this again,” you sighed, lightly dabbing the soaked cotton ball of antibiotic on the small gash on his forehead.
“You mean looking this good~?” he smirks, flexing his bicep proudly. Only for his bottom lip to jut out into a pout at the way you playfully roll your eyes at him, not exactly denying his words but also not wanting to feed that big ego of his.
Turning around to grab a clean bandage for his wound, he misses the way a light pink hue blooms across your cheeks.
…making him a bento box of his favorite foods after scolding him for skipping meals…
“Oh?” Satoru chirps, “What do we have here?”
He watched you unravel the prettily wrapped package to reveal the lunch you had prepared for him. Based on the smell alone, he knew you had made his favorite. “A little birdie told me you skipped breakfast this morning,” you sighed.
“Did this birdie happen to be a six foot three tall man with a man bun? What a snitch,” he sighed dramatically.
Tsking, you pushed the bento closer to him. “Don’t be mean. Eat before the food gets cold or else the last hour and a half of me cooking would go to waste.”
Didn’t you just come back from a mission this morning? The thought crossed his mind as he considered how tired you must be but still mustered the energy to cook for him. The delusional side of him imagined if this was what it would be like if you were his pretty little wife.
Grinning, he takes a bite of the food and savors the delicious flavor that hits his taste buds. “Thank you, sweets.”
…and leaving little cute messages in his notebooks to read during class.
Hearing his sensei drone on about something related to cursed energy, Satoru leaned back in his chair with his head tilted back in a silent groan. He swore this boring class had a higher chance of killing him than dealing with a special grade curse. Feeling someone kick his shoe from under his desk, Satoru looked over next to him to see Suguru giving him a disapproving look, gesturing with a nod to the sensei to pay attention. Satoru merely stuck his tongue out at him causing his best friend to roll his eyes. To be fair, he was equally as bored but someone had to pay attention to take notes, right?
Leaning on his hand, he aimlessly flicked through the pages of his notebook, the pages mostly bare since he rarely took notes. Satoru’s interest quirked when his eyes landed on an adorable doodle of a kitty cat wearing black round glasses much like the ones he wore. Beside it was a little speech bubble written in your handwriting that said, “You got this, Toru! I’ll always be here to support you ^o^.”
Chuckling, Satoru turned his head to find you sitting a few desks away from him. Unlike him, you were completely engrossed in the lesson and taking notes like the good student you were. You had your hair tucked behind your ear as you gnawed on your lower lip in concentration. All Satoru could think was… ‘pretty.’
Feeling eyes on the back of your head, you scanned your surroundings before making direct eye contact with Satoru. Despite being caught red handed staring at you, Satoru shot you a flirty wink, snickering at the way you gaped at him in shock. He made a gesture of him pretending to be on the verge of falling asleep, feeling his heart palpitate at the way you couldn’t help but giggle at him.
The next class, he found another doodle in his notebook of that same little Gojo kitty along with the words, “All eyes up front instead of me, Mr. Gojo >.<.”
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. How could he have been so blind?
Or, maybe, he did see all of the signs. Perhaps he chose to actively ignore them because he knew getting involved with you would only put you in danger. He was okay with admiring you from a distance if it meant keeping you safe.
But if he knew things would end up this way, he wished he spent all this time telling you he loved you instead.
“Do you have any last words?” Satoru offered, feeling his heart aching at what was next to come.
Looking to the sky in resignation, a peaceful look graced Suguru’s face. “I never held any hatred for those in Jujutsu High. I just couldn’t wear a heartfelt smile in this world.”
“But she made it worthwhile,” he continued, his voice lowering in remorse as he studied your tranquil face, ingraining every little detail that he loved about you in his mind. “I don’t regret taking her with me. My only regret is not being able to give her the life she deserved.”
Suguru cradled your face in his hand and leaned down to kiss your forehead tenderly, his lips lingering on your skin for the last time. He didn’t react when he heard heavy footsteps draw near.
Satoru brought himself closer to the two people he cherished most in his life. Crouching down so that he was eye level, he reached out to brush the hair away from your lids, wishing so desperately for you to open them so that he could look into those eyes that he first fell in love with. Just as Suguru did, he pressed his lips to your temple, feeling a tear slip from his eye.
Goodbye, my sweet girl. To the only girl I will ever love.
🏷️: @urcutetozier @sad-darksoul @alisoncdariel @paprikaquinn @jjk174
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OLD GRUDGES (part 3)
A/N: i know it took me way longer than it should have, but at last im here with the next part and that's what matters, right? thank you for the support on the prev parts, hope you'll enjoy this just as much!
WORD COUNT: 4.3k
WARNING: sexual content
SUMMARY: Harry and Y/N go way back. Working together was like a dream when 1D was still going strong. Now, years later, when they end up working together again, things are very different. Mostly because Y/N seems to be hating Harry passionately. But he has not idea why.
MASTERLIST | SERIES MASTERLIST
Meetings never really excited Harry, but lately, they have been his favorite along with studio sessions. Because these were the times he always got to see Y/N.
Today he is going in with her favorite cookies in his bag that he picked up on his way, taking a detour just to drop by that one place she loves the most. It’s been a recurring thing for Harry, picking up a cup of coffee for her, buying her favorite snacks for their sessions or surprising her with lunch from that taco place she adores so much. He’s been doing practically anything to get a smile on her face because he feels like that’s the only thing he is destined to do.
He’s been ignoring the fact that her time working on the project ends in two weeks, according to the contract. The only chance to stretch it longer if the required songs are not finished, but they are all practically done at this point. Harry tries his best not to think of what it will be like when he doesn’t get to see her as often as he does now.
The meeting was scheduled only yesterday, so Harry has no idea what it is about, but it doesn’t really matter, they are supposed to record afterwards, so he only cares about spending more time with Y/N.
However, the smile fades when he walks into the room and doesn’t see her. It’s odd, she is usually there before him, but now it’s just a couple of the studio engineers, Niall, Liam and Blake, the kind of weird manager from Modest who’s been working with them since they started recording for Midnight Memories. Harry has been getting these eerie vibes from him, but he just can’t put his finger on it, so he’s been sucking it up and ignoring it. He gave no reason not to be trusted so far.
“Hey, what’s up?” Harry greets everyone walking into the room.
“Ah, Harry! You’re here!” Blake smiles and they shake hands before Harry settles in a chair. “I was just telling the boys what this meeting is about. Good news, you are set for another album after Midnight Memories is released!”
It’s no surprise, to be honest. One album after the other, the pace has been just like that for a while.
“Great,” he nods. “Do we know who we’re gonna work with?”
Blake then hands him a paper with a list of names and some other details. Harry runs over the names, looking for a particular one, but it’s not there.
“What about Y/N?” he asks.
“Ah, I wanted to tell you guys. She got another project kind of last minute, so she is done with the album for now and won’t be able to join for the next one, it seems like,” Blake explains casually and it doesn’t stand out to anyone else either, but it hits Harry in the chest pretty hard.
She is done with the album? Why didn’t she say anything? They talked on the phone just two days ago, why didn’t she even mention it?
And why isn’t she gonna work on the next album? Harry doubts she is booked that far ahead, she is just getting recognized in the industry and she told him herself she is living from one project to the other, works on the next album won’t start at least until they start touring Midnight Memories.
It’s not adding up, but on the other hand… Harry has no right to question her. Even despite how close he’s been getting to her, they are still just… coworkers. Friends.
But nothing more.
“Alright, now that we are talking about the next album, I have a little sneak peek of a song that could be a big hit!” Blake seems enthusiastic as he opens his laptop and then soon a demo starts playing, but Harry can’t really focus, he is too stuck on the fact that he has no more time left with Y/N. He even pulls out his phone, ready to text her and ask her how all of this happened, but then talks himself down. When he finally starts to listen to the song, it sounds familiar at first, but there are no lyrics and Harry often finds random songs familiar lately, because he just hears so many new melodies on a daily basis, they tend to blend together.
“You like it?” Blake asks him and Harry just nods.
“Yeah. What is it called?”
Blake smiles confidently as he shuts the laptop down.
“Night Changes.”
The weather is finally good enough for grilling and the rowland household would take an opportunity anytime for that. Filling up their backyard with the people they love the most and feeding them burgers, hotdogs or basically anything Mitch is able to throw onto the grill. They usually have a gathering like this every month if their schedule and the weather allows.
Now it’s finally the first official grill party of the year.
Harry is sat outside by one of the tables, his plate is empty by now, but he knows he’ll get another round at one point. Cards are scattered on the tabletop, along with glasses of lemonade and beer, the kids are playing in the back somewhere by the treehouse, everything feels and looks idyllic.
For the past about two hours Harry couldn’t stop looking for Y/N. Stealing glances when she was talking to Sarah or playing with the kids, trying not to ogle her too obviously when she was laughing at something at the other table. He wanted to walk up to her a thousand times already, but he is trying to act cool and figure out how to act when there are other people around.
It’s an unknown territory for sure.
When Harry sees her walking towards the house he just can’t stay put. Excusing himself from the group he tries his best not to look suspicious as he follows her inside. Once the sliding door is closed behind him he quickens his steps down the hallway towards the bathroom, guessing she went there, but as he is approaching the door he notices it’s closed.
Should he try his luck and open it? Or maybe knock? Or…
Suddenly, the lock rattles and the door moves the tiniest bit, light coming through the gap. His heart skips a beat as he leaps forward and pushes the door open more so he can step inside.
And there she is, standing by the sink, checking herself out in the mirror when Harry walks in and closes the door behind him. Then slowly, she turns her gaze to him, for the first time today and for a moment Harry thinks she might tell him to fuck off and get out, but when he sees her lips part, he knows what she wants.
Him.
They collide fast, their usual hunger for each other taking over in a heartbeat. Demanding kisses, rough touches, they both know they should be in a hurry, Harry can’t even remember if he locked the door, it would be rather awkward if someone walked in on them.
Especially because no one knows about them, or whatever is going on between them.
It’s been over a week since the dinner party that ended up with the most confusing but also mind-blowingly amazing sex they have ever had. When it was over Harry simply left and kept to what she said, that they would not talk about it and that’s exactly what happened. They never talked about it, but it happened again.
Twice since then.
And now they are going at it again.
“Fuck,” Harry growls into her mouth when she reaches into his pants with quick but confident moves, because it’s not the first time she is doing it and he can only hope it’s not the last either.
“Quickly,” she pants and he just nods, bunching up her dress and tugging her underwear down. It’s no surprise he is already hard, following her inside was like a foreplay to him, the secrecy, the chance that she might tell him to fuck off, his pulse has been rising before he stepped into the bathroom.
They moan together when he thrusts into her, but then he gets back to kissing her to keep their voice down as he starts moving. Usually, they don’t talk when they are having sex, but Harry feels like changing that up, trying out how she reacts to something different.
“You knew I would come after you, huh?” he pants against her lips.
“I did,” she breathes out, one arm curled around his neck, her other hand gripping the edge of the sink to keep her balance.
“You thought about me fucking you all day?”
To that, she doesn’t answer and Harry almost regrets opening his mouth, but then she looks at him and nods.
“I did,” she repeats herself and even cracks a smile before pulling him closer to kiss him hard. And just like that, a tightening but warm feeling spreads in his chest.
They don’t need much time, Harry is the first to come and she follows soon right after. Her head falls against his chest , rising and falling with his deep breaths and he tries to fight the urge, but then gives in and bringing up a hand he runs his fingers through her hair. Part of him fears this move might be too intimate for her and that she’ll shake him off of her any moment, but it never happens and Harry enjoys it, probably way more than he should.
They clean themselves up and soon it’s just the sparkle in their eyes that proves what they just did.
“What are you doing tomorrow?” she asks, fixing her makeup in the mirror.
“Are you asking me out or something?” Harry cheekily asks and she just smacks his chest playfully.
“I have some stuff I’ve been working on that I want to show you.”
Harry’s pulse fastens again. This is just like it was before, when it was just the two of them, sharing the songs they were working on.
“I would love that,” he smiles at her, watching her walk to the door.
“Alright. I’ll text you then.”
Y/N walks out and Harry knows they are back to not talking and for a second he wonders how long he’ll be able to keep going like this.
When he walks out he is still deep in his thoughts, but then when he reaches the kitchen he comes to a halt, seeing Mitch by the kitchen island, sipping on some lemonade, a knowing look on his face.
“Hey man,” Harry clears his throat and joins him instead of walking outside.
“Hey. Everything alright?”
“Yeah, I’m good.”
“Want to share why I just saw Y/N coming from the same direction as you just did?”
“Uh… you know, we just…”
Harry can’t quite find the right words, especially because he doesn’t like and can’t really lie to Mitch, but he also wants to keep the no talking rule. Mitch stares back at him with a blank face for a second, but then his eyes go wide.
“No way.”
“What?” Harry laughs.
“For real?”
“What are you talking about?”
“You and… you and Y/N?”
Harry doesn’t answer, but that’s quite the answer to Mitch.
“Oh my God, how long has this been going on?”
“Keep it down!” He hushes his friend. “It’s… it’s nothing official or anything.”
“But it is something, right? What is it?”
Harry once again just stays silent.
“You two are having sex?” More silence. “Oh my God! Did you just do it in the bathroom?!”
“Shh!” Harry tries to shush him again, but he also can’t hold back his smile, thinking about what just took place in that bathroom.
“Harry, what the hell! When… How did that happen? You know what? I don’t want to know about that,” Mitch changes his mind quickly, making Harry laugh. “But like… what is it?”
“I told you, it’s nothing o–”
“No, I mean… what do you want it to be?”
Harry sighs as he turns so he can look out at the backyard through the sliding door. And there she is, with a glass in her hand as she is talking to Sarah, laughing at something and Harry wishes he knew what it was.
“I just… I like her. A lot.”
“But you two had been hating each other passionately, what happened to that?”
“I think we took the passionately part and turned it into something else,” Harry smirks cheekily, his eyes still glued to her figure outside.
“Oh my God, you are so gone for her,” Mitch breathes out, shaking his head. “You’re falling for her!”
Harry turns back to Mitch and hesitates before speaking up.
“I already fell for her. When we worked together years ago. But then she basically disappeared and when we met again, she acted like I was her mortal enemy,” Harry chuckles. Calling himself the enemy sounds ridiculous, but it’s the most fitting he could say. “And now…” he hums, but doesn’t finish his thought out loud.
“And now you’re falling for her again?”
“I might be,” he nods.
The Sun has set, but the party's still going. Well, it’s not raging, some of the people who came with kids have left and Scout has been put down by Mitch as well, but a handful of guests are still out on the terrace, playing card games and sharing stories.
Y/N sits right across from Harry and he has noticed the change. She is losing her cold act towards him, slowly but surely. They can finally talk and joke around almost like back in the days. Harry however doesn’t want to let himself go deeper than he should, he knows he is on an unstable field with her and he feels like it all could snap any moment, but…
It feels so amazing.
Making her laugh, sharing knowing looks, teasing each other like old friends, Harry missed being like this.
When he notices that she’s probably cold his first thought is to offer his hoodie, but he is quick to stop himself, he’s sure it might be too much at once so he instead just asks around who needs a blanket as he is heading inside anyway so he can easily grab a few.
But then as the night comes to an end, he still decides to try and dance around the unsaid boundaries.
“Hey, I just ordered a car, added your address as well.” Harry tells her when he sees her open the Uber app on her phone.
“Ah, no need, I can just–”
“Already ordered it,” he insists, hoping she’ll accept it and luckily, it seems like she is not in the mood to argue.
The car ride is quiet, but not the uncomfortable kind. She is on her phone, reading what seems like emails to Harry and he notices the change in her instantly.
“Everything alright?”
She looks up with a frown and then sighs, locking her phone.
“Just work. I have this annoying assistant, called Daryl up in my ass on another project, he is trying to get me to give way more than I’m obligated to. I don’t even know who his boss is, the damn guy is like a mystery for some reason.”
“Like, they want more music from you?”
“Yes,” she nods. “They want to listen to stuff I’m working on in case something fits the album, but I’ve already delivered what I was paid for.”
Although he is eager to know more, to offer his help, he stays silent, staying within the boundaries this time, not pushing his luck even more. It’s a miracle itself that she even said this much about anything personal.
“So tomorrow?” Y/N asks when the car stops in front of her house. Harry looks at her and for a moment, all he can think about is the last time they were here like this.
“Yeah, I’m free,” he manages to speak up, snapping out of his memories.
“I’ll text you. Bye then,” she nods before climbing out of the car and heading towards her front door. Harry watches her for a bit before he tells the driver to leave.
She still hasn’t texted him. It’s four in the afternoon and he hasn’t heard of her since she got dropped off last night.
He was up early, went for a run, because he definitely needed to put his extra energy into something instead of continuously checking his phone, hoping for a text to pop up. Then he grabbed himself a bagel on the way back, brewed a coffee when he got home and had his breakfast while staring at his phone like a sore loser.
He took that damn phone everywhere he went. Literally everywhere. But the hours passed by and he got no sign and at first he just thought she got busy with something, but by the time he was done with lunch, it turned into a worry.
She was as punctual as one could get and she would have already texted him by now, even if it was just about that she is running late with whatever she was doing. A decent session lasts at least three or four hours and she is not one to pull an allnighter.
He has kept ordering himself to be patient all day, but now he lost the last bits of his bearing. At last he decides a text is fine, she can answer whenever it’s convenient.
HARRY: Hey, are we still up for a sesh?
He keeps the conversation open and watches his message sit there, its status staying delivered for what feels like forever. Then, about twenty minutes later, it changes to read and the three dots start dancing at the bottom of the screen as Harry’s heart threatens to jump right out of his chest. He knows he is acting ridiculously, but he pushes the thought to the back of his head for now.
The dots then disappear, but no message arrives. A minute goes by and they reappear and this time a gray bubble follows.
Y/N: I got a bit of a situation on my hands rn.
Then a photo pops up of her house with two police cars parked at the front and Harry’s stomach drops.
HARRY: I’m going over.
He sends the message before he could even think it through and he is already out the door by the time she reads his reply.
When he arrives one of the police cars is still there and Y/N is out front, talking to an officer. She is lacking her usual on-spot style, wearing a baggy sweat set, her hair in a state of mess he has never seen before, but even despite the worried expression on her face, she looks annoyingly beautiful.
She spots him as he gets out of his car, crossing the lawn with a slow jog.
“Hey, what’s going on?” he asks, on the verge of losing his marbles if he doesn’t find out what happened immediately.
“Give me a minute,” she tells him, turning back to the officer. “Thank you for everything. I’ll let you know if I find anything that’s missing.”
“Take care, Miss. We’ll have a car patrol around the neighborhood every hour for the next 24 hours, though it’s unlikely they will come back.”
With a nod, the officer walks over to the car, gets in and they drive away.
“What the hell happened?” Harry asks when Y/N finally turns to him.
“Someone broke into my house,” she says and then just simply heads back inside. Harry jogs after her.
“What? When?”
Y/N is walking straight to her kitchen and Harry follows her, locking the front door behind him.
“I went to a yoga class in the morning. When I came back, I noticed my lock was picked and the door was open.”
Harry watches her rummage through a cabinet before grabbing a bottle of tequila along with two glasses. She shoots a questioning look to him, to which he just nods, though he is still lost, confused and kind of angry. She pours a generous amount into both glasses and then hands one over to Harry before chugging hers down faster than ever.
“Did anything go missing?”
“Literally nothing,” she laughs bitterly. “Everything seems untouched and I just don’t understand it at all. Why would someone break in if they don’t take anything valuable?”
“Money? Jewelry? Everything is here?”
“Everything. I checked everything.”
Harry is now just as clueless as Y/N. It doesn’t make any sense, but it’s also somehow even worse. Whoever broke in had a reason to, but it’s completely hidden for now.
When she reaches for the bottle again he notices how much her hands are shaking. She is a nervous wreck.
“Hey, you don’t want to lose your rationality right now,” Harry softly warns her as he grabs her hand and stops her from pouring another one.
“I’m fucking terrified, Harry,” she admits, her voice shakes and so weak like never before. Harry’s heart breaks for her. “Have you ever felt unsafe in your own home?”
“I have,” Harry answers without hesitation and that’s when she finally looks him in the eyes again. “I had a few stalkers throughout the years and attempted break-ins.”
And just like that, something changes in her. The last bits of the wall she so carefully built up between the two of them are destroyed and she lets him see her fully and so naked emotionally. Her lips tremble, tears dwell in her eyes and just as the first sob breaks out of her chest, he is pulling her into his embrace.
For a second Harry thinks it might be just luck, that she is only opening up to him like this because he is the one who is physically here with her, but he then wipes this thought and just focuses on being the support she truly needs.
He holds her tight as she cries into his chest, pressing kisses to the top of her head until she calms down and regains control over her breathing.
“Pack a bag for a few days, stay at mine for a bit, okay?” he softly says when she finally pulls back, just enough to look at him. She doesn’t try to put up a fight, just nods and lets him walk her up to her bedroom.
He helps her pack, she grabs the clothes while Harry packs her laptop and chargers. Half an hour later they are getting into his car before heading over to Harry’s place. The car ride is silent and Harry doesn’t even try to talk her through it. He knows how important it is to let her find her own peace in this situation instead of trying to just temporarily divert her attention.
It’s actually her first time at his place, so she is curiously examining the place when they finally arrive. Harry shows her around quickly and then they reach the bedrooms upstairs.
“Choose a bedroom, personally my favorite is that one,” he smiles softly, pointing at the one next to his own bedroom. She walks closer and peeks inside, then into his bedroom and he watches her patiently.
“Can I… sleep with you?”
Her request surprises him, but he would be lying if he said a part of him wasn’t hoping for it.
“Sure, of course,” he nods and gestures for her to walk inside.
He sets down her bag to the ottoman at the end of his king sized bed while she looks around. Harry grabs a towel for her from the closet and hands it over to her.
“Take a shower, I’ll make tea for you, how does that sound?”
She just nods, holding the towel to her chest and he can’t believe how vulnerable she looks. The Y/N he’s known for the past few months is nothing like the woman standing in front of him right now.
“Alright, then I’ll…”
He clears his throat and then turns around to give her privacy, but he doesn’t even get to take a step before she grabs his hand and pulls him back. He opens his mouth to ask what else she needs, but he is met with her lips pressing against his, hard and needy and he wastes no time to return the kiss just as passionately. His arms curl around her tightly, like an armor, ready to protect her from anything and everything.
They stumble into the bathroom and she pulls away, just enough so that she can start stripping out of her clothes, but Harry stops for a minute before things get too heated too fast.
“Wait, are you… Today was a lot, are you sure you… want to…?”
“I’m sure. I need this,” she nods and even though she appears just as vulnerable as before, there’s some kind of strong will mixed in her state now. Harry stares back at her, looking for any kind of sign that this might be a bad idea, but then she adds: “I need you.”
And Harry knows in that moment that he would give her anything in this world, because he fell for her again, but this time, it’s nothing like he has ever felt before.
Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!
#harry#styles#harry styles#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fanfic#harry styles oneshot#harry styles one shot#harry styles fluff#harry styles x you#harry styles x y/n#harry styles x reader#harry styles blurb
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YANDERE ROCKSTAR 🎸
INTRO FIC (200 Follower Special!)
TW: HE GETS YANDERE LATER ON. NOTHING REALLY IN THIS ONE, CARRY ON
THANKS SO MUCH FOR 200+ FOLLOWERS! ENJOY!
(FEMALE GROUPIE READER)
Smoke billowed from Axel's parted lips as he ran a hand down his face. The club was hazy and jampacked with drunk people grinding on each other. It would have been too much if he had been a part of the sweaty throng, but Axel had the luxury of watching them from the balcony of the VIP section.
He sighed and took another drag of his cigarette, dropping his head back against the seat. He shouldn't have come here.
"Axe! My man!" An arm slung over Axel's shoulder and he was greeted with the unwelcome face of the Jailbird drummer, Max. The man grinned at the distaste on Axel's face. "Jeez, man, you've been so uptight lately. Should I get some girls?"
"Get off me," Axel grumbled. He couldn't even be bothered to shake him off. "You know why I'm fucking stressed."
Max hummed in understanding and handed him a bottle of beer. For the past few days, Axel couldn't figure out what was wrong with him. Jailbird's new album was supposed to come out in a few months and for the life of, him, he couldn't stop mulling over the title track. It was the most important song in the album, one that should be guaranteed to make headlines. One that he hadn't written yet.
"Would you look at that?" Max mumbled, causing Axel to glance towards the entrance of the VIP lounge. The bass guitarist, Eli and the pianist, Maryanne, came in laughing. But they weren't alone. They were followed by a gaggle of girls, all awe-struck and giggling at whatever story Elijah was telling. Max immediately gravitated towards the group, followed by the other guitarist Riley.
Axel stayed seated and sipped his drink, ignoring them when Max tried to pull him into the conversation. He didn't have time for this. Normally, he would be working his charm on some poor girl, using her to blow of some steam and slip away once he was done.
But there was an itch he couldn't scratch tonight. One that had him snapping at the only girl who dared to try her luck with the lead singer and guitarist of the band. Everyone steered clear after that. He needed some kind of inspiration for the fucking song and nothing in this club was helping.
Axel was nearly done with his third cigarette when his eyes drifted and suddenly met yours. E/C eyes widened and immediately darted away. He would have thought nothing of it if you didn't glance back after a few seconds, looking embarrassed when you made eye contact once again. He smirked and took you in for the first time that night. Now there was a surprise. There was something striking to you. You were dressed the same as the other girls and seemed starstruck by everything, just like them, but there was a freshness to you that intrigued Axel.
Before he could register his thoughts, he beckoned you over. You blinked and looked around. He shook his head and pointed directly at you, grinning. You stood up shakily and walked to him, looking like a newborn fawn in your precariously high heels.
"H-hi," you said, standing next to the couch.
"Hi. Come sit." Axel made room for you, just enough that your thighs still touched. You twisted your hands nervously as he drank in the sight of you.
"Um, i-it's nice to meet you. I'm a huge fan."
"You like Jailbird?" he asked. "What's your favorite song, then?"
You jumped when his hand played with the collar of your blouse. It was cute, like you. A bit revealing, Axel noted, as his eyes drifted over your cleavage, but nice. Simple.
"Oh no. I mean the band is awesome, but I'm really just a fan of you." You ducked your head shyly. "I like 'Starlight'."
He laughed loudly, surprised. "You know Starlight? Fuck, that's an old song. I don't believe you."
'Starlight' was one of the few songs he performed alone, when Jailbird was just a dream that only he and Max believed in. Axel only ever sang it once, at a random talent show and he didn't even place on the board. It had been a blight in his career, one he buried with new albums and songs that topped the charts. So he was genuinely surprised to see you reach into your bag and unfold a creased flyer for the talent show, dated years ago. On the back, was his old signature, a rough scrawl that he hated but remembered.
"Shit." Axel squinted at the paper, suddenly sober. "You-you really were there..."
"I don't think you would remember me," you babbled on, oblivious to his internal thoughts. "I wanted to ask for a picture, but you didn't look so good, which I understand because you were robbed! I-I mean, you obviously deserved first place, Starlight was-is amazing!"
Axel didn't like to be reminded of the time when he was nobody, when nothing he ever wrote was good enough, especially not Starlight. It was his first song, his favorite song, until all he got for it was scattered applause and a participation slip. The band was formed and Axel had a new sound, a new meaning to his songs. Starlight did not cut it anymore.
And now, here you were, digging up his dirty past, holding it to his face. And showing him how much you loved it. It was humbling. Axel didn't like to be humbled. But he liked you. He liked you very, very much.
"Ever had a shotgun kiss?" He asked, interrupting your rant. You blinked again and shook your head.
"Oh no, I don't smoke, sorry."
"You could start," Axel said, holding his cigarette up. He took a long drag and grabbed you face, squishing your cheeks to part your lips. He smirked when your breath hitched as your mouths met and chuckled when you coughed, pulling away from him. "Not bad, starlight. Just needs some practice." He held out his bottle and you took a tentative sip, smiling shyly. Cute.
"You're much nicer than you look," you commented. Only to immediately backtrack. "N-not that you look mean or anything! It just seems like you prefer being alone..."
Axel hummed, lighting another stick. He held it up to you and stared at you with an eyebrow raised. You grimaced but wrapped your lips around it anyway. When you stopped coughing, he said, "You should listen to your instincts. I'm not so nice, starlight."
He watched you fiddle with the hem of your skirt for a moment, before glancing up at him through your lashes. "Well...what if I don't want to listen to them?"
Suddenly, Axel wanted nothing more than to leave the club with you on his arm. He grinned and stood up, offering his hand to you. "Oi, Max! I'm heading back so don't wait up!"
You blushed as your friends cheered, and Max gave Axel a thumbs up. "Where are we going?" Were you really that clueless? Axel would have a lot of fun ruining that innocence.
"Just you wait, starlight," he purred into your ear, nipping at the soft shell as you shivered. "I'm going to change your life."
Hours later, in his hotel suite, as his sweat cooled and his heartbeat slowed, Axel's mind buzzed with ideas. The inspiration he had been desperately searching for rushed to him as you nuzzled into his neck, sleepily.
"What did you say your name was again, starlight?"
"Hmmm? Y/N."
"Fuck that's a pretty name," he breathed.
Y/N, Y/N, Y/N...it looked like he had a title for the song. All he had to do was start writing down and tweaking the lyrics. But that would have to come later. Axel pulled you closer and drifted to the first peaceful rest he'd had in weeks, with your name still on his tongue.
Y/N...
A/N: Hope you guys love Axel as much as you love Lucas! If you enjoyed, leave a like, comment and reblog. Or drop and ask for anything you had in mind. Loves ya xxx
#fanfic#yandere boyfriend#obsessive love#obsessive yandere#yandere#writers on tumblr#yandere x#yandere male#male yandere#soft yandere#yandere x female reader#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere x darling#yandere x y/n#yandere rockstar#rock band#rock#band#rockstar boyfriend#rockstar bf#rockstar au#rock music#musician#fan#groupie
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I cannot tell you how loud I cackled when the card was revealed. One moment I was cooing at how cute this was and then I start straight up laughing at 2AM. The atrocious spelling of a child 🤣, i loved all of it! I'm wondering if the other kids notice Father's favoritism towards the reader, and how they would react? What if they bully Reader and Father steps up for Reader? 🤭 I love your characterization of Father in here. Much softer than canon which is what I needed.
~EL anon
would you like a new home? (pt 3.1)
forethoughts: thanks for the compliments about part two! i didn't expect my silly love letter to arlecchino to blow up haha. i originally was going to write this as just one big part but i changed plans. part two is called would you like some cake! i also planned for part two to be the last one but i had to sneak one in to give reader and father a happy ending of sorts :)
notes: gn!child!reader, NOT AN X READER READER IS A CHILD IN THIS!!!
You never cared about what the other children thought of you.
Father made sure you would never get hurt.
Father ensured that the very day she gave you your new toys.
Father said not to use the toys, only if I was being attacked then I could use them.
Father said not to show the other children your toys.
And you always listened to Father to the best of your abilities.
Well, you tried.
You were walking down the hall, admiring the small trinket Father had found you during one of her expeditions. It was a compass, Father said. You followed the red needle, a huge smile at your face as you watched it shift and move.
You held the compass dear to your chest, using two hands to hold each side. Your eyes were glued to the needle you didn’t even notice the leg that swept your shins, causing your grip on the compass to disappear as your body went sideways, landing on your arms.
Footsteps.
You got up before you could hear another thud, turning around.
“Hey!” You exclaimed as one of the other orphans picked up Father’s gift, admiring it themselves.
“What? We were just interested in what you were holding, Y/N.” One of the other orphans snickered.
“Give it back.” You said, balling your fists. That was Father’s gift to you. Yours. Not theirs.
“Why? You have more gifts than us given by Father. Not having one more isn’t going to kill you, loser.”
Don’t attack. Don’t be quick to anger. Always seek out a compromise before arming yourself. Father’s words rang in your head.
You took a deep breath, blood boiling at the sight of the other orphan haphazardly tossing the compass around.
“What do you want?” You questioned, feet still spread apart.
“Don’t you get it, you stupid idiot? We want what you have.”
“You’ve never wanted anything from me.”
“Because you didn’t have anything we wanted.”
“What do you want now?”
“We want Father.”’
Your knuckles started to turn red as your hands fell to your sides. “What?”
“Don’t act like we don’t see how Father treats you. Always first to get food. Extra dessert. No curfew. Bigger room? Who do you think you are? You’re a nobody! You don’t even have friends! Why does Father treat you better than everyone else?!” The orphan shoved you back on the ground, pressing his foot against your head.
You stared at the orphan. You couldn’t deny that his words did not hold truth to them. Father did ensure all of that. You never questioned why Father would show you more generosity and kindness compared to the other children. Yes, Father treated everyone equally. That was obvious before you went inside the armory that day. Father still treated everyone equally even after that. You just had… perks.
“I didn’t ask to have a bigger room and no curfew.” You retorted, trying to resist.
“But you have it. And we want that too. So go to Father and tell her you want a smaller room, last in line, no dessert, and an earlier curfew.”
“That’s not fair. I’m not going to do that.”
“If you don’t do that, we’ll break the compass. And don't think about lying and saying you did it. We'll know.” The orphan dangled the compass with two fingers, close to the rim.
“Hey!” You gritted your teeth, hand slowly creeping towards the knife strapped onto your belt.
“Three…” The orphan sneered, digging his boot deeper into your hair, pressing your head into the ground.
“Two…” Your hand curled around the helm.
“One…”
Forgive me, Father.
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Liar pt.8
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8
Pairing: Gojo x fem!eader
Warnings: ANGSTTTT, but fluff at the end, cussing, drinking, grinding, NOT PROOFRED, i don't think there's anything else but as always lmk if there is.
Note- the italics is a flashback, actually, Satoru's entire section is a flashback from pt 7.
Word Count: 1.3K
A/N: VFYVKD. Guys, I think this might be the last part to this series😭😭😔😔 This has been a journey, thank you so much for everyone who has read this far, I truly and deeply appreciate every single one of you❤️❤️ I don't want it to endddd, so lmk if you would like me to keep writing for this au bc I would LOOVE to.
(Requests open)
Satoru
He was beginning to feel like he was slipping. He hadn’t had a glass since the shot he took before Kaito came to spend the night with him. Although it was now night and hours since his son had left, he naively thought that he had overcome his addiction since he hadn’t felt the urge to drink the whole time he was with Kaito.
Oh how wrong he was. He needed to get a drink and fast. He jumped into his car and began speeding to the nearest liquor store, only to find it with an eight-person line. He didn’t have the patience to wait that long and made his way to a bar. Any bar, honestly speaking, he had no idea where he even was.
He quickly went over, ordered, and chugged five tequila shots consecutively. Once the alcohol finally kicked in, he finally began to feel like himself again.
‘He was is disgusting. What kind of pathetic, sorry excuse of a man can’t survive without drowning himself in alcohol? How was he supposed to win you back and be a father for Kaito in such a state?’
These were the thoughts that ran rampant through his mind as he ordered a glass of whiskey, this time much more relaxed, seated on his stool, staring lifelessly into the endless abyss.
He was slowly sipping his drink when he felt a pair of hands clutch his shoulders before slowly gliding down his arms. Because of his inebriated state, he wasn’t able to sense them approaching, however, he just chose to ignore, only seeming to amuse the stranger. He slowly turned his seat to face them.
He was completely unamused when his eyes landed on a young woman clearly intent on getting into his pants. She clearly thought that she was the most beautiful girl in the room, therefore disarming a chance at him, but all he could think of was how ugly she looked in comparison to you. He just rolled his eyes, trying to go back to wallowing in self-pity. The lady just wouldn’t let up, turning around before she began grinding against him to the beat of the music. Foul, Satoru thought, feeling his patience run out.
“Get away from me you fucking slut,” he hissed, venom lacing his words as he placed his hand on her waist, trying to push her away when next thing he knows, a palm is making contact with his cheek, landing a harsh slap across his face. It was only then that he finally sensed your cursed energy. He quickly turned to face you, heart plummeting when he saw tears streaming through your face.
Shit, he can only imagine what this looked like to you. He tried to reach out to you but you just screamed at him and ran away from him.
He began to panic.
His heart was racing.
The world around him was spinning and despite how hard he tried, he couldn’t move a single inch. His vision was getting spotty and all he could hear was the ringing in his ears. He felt like he was going to vomit.
WHY! WHY HIM, WHY NOW! WHY COULDN’T HEJUST CONTROL HIMSELF AND STOP FUCKING DRINKING! He was absolutely torturing himself in his head as he spiraled.
He finally mustered the strength to run after you, leaving the unnamed girl where she stood, utterly confused.
He ran as fast as his legs could take him but you were nowhere to be found.
He leapt into his car and drove as fast as the vehicle could go. He was at Jujutsu tech in about five minutes but that was the longest five minutes of his entire life. He had to get to you. He needed to explain, he needed to make sure you know that it wasn't what it looked like.
Y/N
After crying your heart out on the sidewalk, you eventually made your way back to Jujutsu Tech. You texted Shoko and asked her if she could take care of Kaito for the rest of the night. You felt so guilty for staying away from him for two nights in a row but you just couldn’t bear to have him see you like this.
Just as you were about to close the dorm door behind you, you heard running and frantic breathing approach. You didn’t even bother trying to fight Gojo as he forced his way through the door you were trying to shut.
“Y/N p-please” he took a pause, slightly hunched over as he attempted to catch his breath, “I pro- I promise it wasn’t what you looked like!” he tried to explain, clearly panicked.
“What the fuck do you mean it’s not what it looked like, Gojo.” you questioned, putting emphasis on how you said his name. It felt like you were continuously stabbing him with a jagged dagger and he felt his knees getting weak but he couldn’t let you go, not now.
“My love please! I swear on my life it wasn’t! I wasn’t trying to do anything with her fuck! I don’t even know her name!”
“Then what was it Gojo! She was grinding on you and you were FUCKING ENJOYING IT, DON’T YOU DARE LIE TO ME! I KNOW WHAT I SAW!!” You yelled your throat raw.
“I was trying to get her away from me! Please, believe me, I promise,” He dropped on his knees, reaching for your hands with his own shaking ones. Tears began to trickle down his face as his breathing grew heavy.
A small part of you wanted to believe it, but you were struggling. Deep down, you were telling yourself that he was telling the truth. But that was a part of you you hadn’t seen since Gojo was sealed. You survived this long without listening to it, so why start now?
“Gojo…let’s get a divorce-”
“NO! NO! BABY PLEASE! Don’t do this to me! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU MORE THAN LIFE, MORE THAN BREATHING, MORE THAN MYSELF MORE THAN ANYTHING! DON’T LEAVE ME-”
“Gojo you were gone for years! I LIVED WITHOUT A HUSBAND FOR YEARS! And from what it looks like, you CLEARLY didn’t feel my or Kaito’s absence! And from what it looks like, you’ve moved on-”
“BUT I HAVEN’T! I HAVEN’T! I GO TO BED HOLDING A PICTURE OF YOU CLOSE TO MY CHEST EVERY SINGLE NIGHT! I HAVE NEVER TAKEN OFF YOUR RING SINCE THE DAY I GOT BACK AND FOUND YOU GONE!” He cried, showing you your ring, which laid on his fingers. You would be lying if you said you didn’t notice it, but you just assumed that was due to how expensive it was. It would’ve been a waste to let it collect dust in a drawer.
“Y/N, you and out baby boy are the only fucking reason I wake up every day. You two are the light of my life and when I lost you. I was so distraught I even started drinking and you know better than anyone how much I hate that shit but it’s the only thing that takes my mind off of everything!”
You were now crying too, touched by what he was saying. You could see in his eyes that he meant every word and it shook you to your core.
You stayed anchored where you stood, sobbing now as Satoru got up off his knees and took you into his arms. Hugging you as tightly as he could without breaking your ribs.
You couldn't even move. You just stood there and cried with him, feeling the weight of everything that had transpired over the past couple of years wash away.
All that grief, suffering, and pain over the past few years was washing away in your tears.
You love him.
You had pushed down your feelings for him so deep that for a moment, you forgot they were even there. But you love him, and he you, and you knew that there was know way either of you could live without each other any longer.
You love him, and he loves you, and nothing was going to change that.
Not now, not ever.
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8
The End...?
@porridgesblog , @giannitaa , @c0pkiller , @havens-not-here, @starlightanyaaa
© gojos-fr-bae
#gojo satoru#gojo#jujutsu gojo#gojo x reader#gojo saturo#gojo x you#gojou satoru x reader#jjk gojo#gojo imagine#jujustu kaisen#gojo satoru x reader#gojo angst#gojo fluff#gojou satoru x you#satoru gojo#satoru gojo x reader#jujutsu kaisen gojo#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu sorcerer#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk anime#Liar
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hi hi it’s me again😇
this is an oddly specific request of mine but i just really wanna be a cowgirl LMAO
what about something where jj brings r (girlfriend) to finally meet the team, and it turns out r is literally just a cowgirl from texas with a proper southern drawn and a twang in her voice n all. nobody expected that country girls would be jj’s type but when the team sees just how in love she is with r it all makes sense.
thank you sm babe, hope ur good, luv ya!🫶🏻
Southern
pairing: jennifer jareau x fem reader
category: fluff
warnings: none
word count: 826
summary: you're jj's girlfriend from texas and you're meeting her team for the first time
a/n: hiiii i missed you 🫶🏼 i love you too and i hope you're doing ok! also...i kinda wanna write a part 2 with smut...let me know if you're up for that but i'm gonna assume it's a yes
"Are ya sure they'll like me?" I put my hands on my hips while JJ kissed my cheek.
"Of course they'll like you baby. You're amazing." I bit my lip and fixed my flannel a bit. The first three buttons were undone and the bottom of the shirt was tucked into my jean shorts. "Let's just go, ok?"
"Ok." I sighed as she grabbed my hand, pulling me into her friends apartment.
"Hey everyone! This is my girlfriend...y/n." JJ introduced me with an arm around my waist, keeping me close.
"Hi!" They all said almost at the same time.
"Hey y'all!" I turned to JJ with a rosy blush. "Now what do I do? This feels awkward." I leaned into her.
"That's because Derek is staring at your boobs."
"Don't get yourself all tore up about it. I know my assets." I pecked her lips, feeling her smiling into the kiss.
"Where are you from?" I pulled away from the kiss and looked towards a raven haired lady who had asked the question.
"Texas. Do y'all have any Coke?"
"Mhm. Right over here hon." A happy blonde lady led me over to the kitchen. I saw a bunch of soda cans sitting on the table so I picked up a Sprite. "I thought you wanted a Coke."
"Yeah. Coke. Soda is Coke where I'm from." I explained, taking a sip. "I've never been to the north."
"You haven't?" She crinkled her nose while smiling and I almost jumped when I felt a pair of arms snake around my waist but then relaxed when I realized it was JJ.
"If it wasn't for this girl I would still be down south." I took another sip of my soda, leaning back into my girl.
"She likes it up here." JJ kissed my cheek. "We're gonna go up to Boston next weekend."
"Yeah?" Penelope sat down on the couch and I soon realized everyone else had made their way into the room.
"Hey y/n. I'm Spence. It's nice to meet you." I shook hands with a tall lanky brunette. I had to tilt my head up to meet his eyes.
"I'm Derek. But people call me Morgan." I shook his hand and smiled. So this was the guy that was staring at my boobs, and he still was. I might as well put on a little show for him. I unbuttoned my shirt a bit further before looking back at JJ. She blushed before pulling me down onto a chair so I could sit on her lap.
"Jareau, I didn't know cowgirls were your kind of thing." Morgan smirked before sitting down next to Penelope. I felt a twang of insecurity in my chest but I pushed it away, wrapping my arms around JJ's shoulders and holding her close. I was big on PDA and when I found out JJ's love language was physical touch I used it as much as I could, wanting to make her feel loved.
"Well I've never met someone as special as her. So she's definitely my thing." She gently caressed my waist with her thumb.
"So what's it like down in Texas?" Morgan imitated my accent.
"There's a lot of rednecks and shotguns down there." I said back with my souther sass. JJ squeezed my waist, telling me to back down a bit but I couldn't help it. Being from the south and dealing with jackasses everyday had sort of become a part of my personality. I crossed my legs on her lap, staring Morgan down.
"How long have you two been together?" Emily asked.
"Nine months." JJ and I said at the same time.
"Nine months...you guys met on our case in Texas?" Emily smiled as she put the pieces together.
"I met her at a bar, she was kicking them out after a fight."
"They got in a big hissy fit over who the girl was looking at." I rolled my eyes. "Men can be so fragile." JJ kissed my jaw, making me blush. I wasn't one to blush but I was a sucker for jaw kisses.
"Let's get out of here." She whispered.
"What?"
"You've met them good enough, let's go." She dragged me outside and the door was barely closed before she had me pushed against the wall, kissing me passionately. "You were so hot back there."
"Hey ladies-" I heard an unfamiliar voice and froze. JJ backed off of my slowly but leaned in to cover my chest. "Sorry...I was just wondering if you wanted some cupcakes?" It was Penelope.
"Yeah Pen, thanks." JJ took the plate from her and waited for her to leave before making out with me again.
"Jayje, not in the hallway, sugar." I pushed her away a bit.
"You're gonna be the death of me." She groaned against my lips before kissing all over my face.
"Well you love me."
"You're right. I love you so much."
"I love you more."
#x reader#criminal minds#jennifer jareau#jennifer jareau x reader#wlw post#lgbtq#jennifer jareau x you
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Hi! I see you're a radblr and a lesbian, which is great, because I'm trying to understand something but I feel like I'm biased (I'm hetero) and can't see the lesbian perspective properly. I'd like to ask this to my irl lesbian friend but I'm too afraid of sounding rude. I hope you can help me understand better!
So. Let's forget about personality (which is the most important thing for sure) for a second and let's talk about physical attraction only. Lesbians like women. Lesbians do not like men. So it's reasonable to assume they are attracted to the female body characteristics which differ from the male body (like breasts, large hips, female genitals, etc) just like hetero men are. Ideally, the more feminine the trait, the more attractive it should be, right?
So, why are many lesbians attracted to the 'butch' type? From my (biased) perspective, butches are like tomboys, so they seem to want to appear less traditionally feminine (example: short hair - not a male characteristic per se, but it is associated to men because most men have short hair; we could discuss this theoretically, but the social bias is undeniable and no one can escape it). Butches share many characteristics (like style, mannerism, etc) with men, to which lesbians should not attracted. But this is disproven by evidence, since many lesbians like butches! Help. I'm terribly confused.
Hi there, thanks for the question! You mentioned that you understand that lesbians are attracted to female body characteristics (such as breasts, wider hips, female genitals.) A woman has these female characteristics regardless if they’re butch or femme. Butch women may be masculine on the outside appearance or through personality, but at the end of the day they have female sex traits that those who are only attracted to males would not find attractive in any capacity. Butches may try to “hide” these bodily female characteristics, but when in a romantic or sexual relationship with someone you’re going to see what their body actually looks like. Short answer is: butches are females, men are males. It’s entirely possible to be attracted to masculinity but find male sex traits (such as no breasts, deep voice, beards, or penis) revolting or not attractive. Straight women who are attracted to feminine men are not homoSEXuals because of this, just as a lesbian isn’t heteroSEXual for liking butches. Same stuff for masculine gay men who attracted to feminine gay men.
You said “Ideally the more feminine the trait, the more attractive it should be?” which I disagree with. Femininity and female have no correlation at its core, as one is of a biological basis and the other is of a societal basis (though they tend to align, I believe masculinity is the natural state of all people anyways and girls are socialized to be very feminine.) ‘The more female a trait, the more attractive it should be to a lesbian’ is a better phrase, but femaleness comes in all sorts of appearance so it doesn’t really indicate anything or make much sense. You brought up short hair as an example of the similarities between men & butches, which i will agree on, but once again, this doesn’t erase the simple biological difference between a man and a butch. I actually happen to be a butch in a relationship with a femme, so i’m going to offer both my viewpoint, and hers:
As a butch who’s generally only attracted to femmes, I used to not be attracted to masculine women or butches. I still am not for the most part. It took a lot of unpacking internalized homophobia & heteronormative social standards for me to understand why. Everyone is raised to believe that the masculine belongs with the feminine as a child, and gay children are not exceptions to this. I think it’s been ingrained in me since a child that the type of person I should be attracted to is a feminine person. I’ve known since childhood that I was not feminine in the way my female peers were, as I’ve always been pretty masculine. When in elementary and early middle school, the boys I “liked” have all turned out to be feminine gay men (lol.) I never really was attracted to these boys of course, but I was attracted to femininity in females and it was the best I thought I could get. I thought that since I had to be with a boy, I would logically just be with a feminine one. When I understood that being lesbian was an option, I never looked back. It’s hard for me to unpack that me being attracted to a masculine woman isn’t me being attracted to a man, and I know this subconsciously is why I say i’m not attracted to butches much at all. I could possibly be attracted to a butch, but i think socialization has its claws gripped into me (and also just a mix of the fact that femininity is my personal preference in a lady.)
I asked my femme girlfriend her thoughts on this, and this is a summarized version of what she had to say (she thought I was asking about myself):
“[A butch] may be mistaken for a man, or be read as a man at first glance, but when you take a closer look it’s undeniable that you’re a woman. Your eyes are beautiful and feminine, you have a gorgeous feminine body & chest. Your hands are soft, small, & delicate (and no i’m not trying to poke fun at your insecurity i’m being serious) When you smile it’s even more obvious that you’re a woman. I am attracted to your masculinity of course, I love that you have muscles, the way you dress, [redacted personal hobbies], your short hair, how in control/dominant you are. I also love your curves, your soft voice, and smooth skin. & you don’t have the personality of a man, you just pick up hobbies and mannerisms most women are afraid will make them appear “manly.” You actually convinced me to start doing [redacted personal hobby] that i never even considered before because I thought of it as something that boys or men do and now I really enjoy it.”
Sorry if this is a bit of a word vomit or not comprehendible, but i wanted to explain as best as I could lol
#rad fem#radical feminism#radblr#female separatism#terfblr#terfsafe#gender critical#radical feminist safe#radical feminists do interact#radical lesbian
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The darkest parts of me (5/5)
A/N: Thanks to everyone who’s encouraged and read this little story of mine! I’ll be back to posting pure filth soon!
Title: The darkest parts of me (5/5)
Summary: They find each other in a dark world where they do twisted things. The only way things could have become more dangerous, is if they were together. Funny how life turns out.
Unsub!Hotchniss AU.
Word count: 2,2k
Rating: Explicit
Warnings (for most or all chapters): smut, descriptions of violence, descriptions of murder, gore (nothing too explicit), mentions of weapons
David Rossi stands in a parking lot looking at the ground where only hours before a man’s body had been lying. A body that knew was a from the murders he’s spent the better part of a year hunting. They had gotten the call early, a quick description of the scene, but witnesses in the diner had described a couple, and he knew they had to go to California to see it for themselves. They had never been so close to catching them.
His phone rings, sounding loud even though there’s people everywhere and he looks down to see Jason’s name flash on the screen.
“Hey.”
“I’m leaving the ME’s now. It looks like a snapped neck, the man was an ex-marine.” Jason speaks as he walks to the car. “Wife and kids at home.”
“This wasn’t premeditated.” Dave says as he looks around and realizes that in the dead of night there was no way no one would be able to see the murder take place. “He had recognized the unsubs from the news and went to confront the woman while the man was in the bathroom. He was on with 911 when it happened.”
“So they’re close by.” Jason concluded for him.
“They have to be.” Dave walks around the crime scene as he holds the phone to his ear. “The roadblocks are up, every cop in the state knows to be on the lookout. They won’t get away. Not this time.”
There’s a beat of silence and Dave waits for Jason to say what they both were thinking.
“Let’s hope so.”
*
“We can’t stay here.” Aaron told her, surprisingly calm considering the circumstances.
“I know.” She says, her bag already packed, her gun cold against the small of her back where it rests in the lining of her jeans. “I think we need to get out of the country. It’s time”
“Where do you want to go?” He cups the back of her neck, the hand that only a couple of hours before had snapped a guy’s neck, was now so gentle as he brushed his thumb over her cheekbone.
“Anywhere we want.” She smiles when she hands him the passports that Clyde had made for them. “As long as we go fast.”
He nods, because they had planned for this, had planned for what they would do if something went wrong. He just hadn’t expected it to happen so soon. But they had a plan, actually had multiple ways to leave and somewhere in the back of his mind he thanks whatever lucky star for Emily’s funds.
She watches as he carries their bags to the car with a small smile. She knew she should be worried, that she should be scared because at any moment they could be found. But she isn’t, she’s excited, a familiar rush running through her at the thought of a chase. It’s a new kind of adrenaline, and she wonders if she’s found another way to get the high she’s always chasing.
They drive on backroads, not caring that the drive would take much longer, because they knew that any highway was a road to getting caught. His hand rests on her thighs as they drive, her smaller one on top of his and when she squeezes it he looks at her.
“Do you feel bad?” She asks and he knows what she means without her having to elaborate.
“We don’t know if that man deserved to die, but he put us in danger. It was worth it.” He offers her a small smile and she squeezes his hand again, a smirk on her face.
“It was sexy.” She says, dark eyes gleaming and he chuckles.
“My dirty girl.” He always loved how much his killing turned her on and it took every ounce of willpower not to put the car in park to have his way with her. But they needed to get to Arizona, from there they’d be able to get on a flight. It was a long drive, hours on the road, and they didn’t have time to stop.
“Once we’re safe, I’ll show you just how dirty I can be.” She feels his fingers dig into her thigh and she grins.
“You think you haven’t shown me exactly how filthy you can be yet, sweetheart?” He chuckles, but there’s an uncomfortable ache in the pit of his stomach, want quickly settling between his legs.
“I still have a few tricks up my sleeve.” She leans over the center console and licks his neck, her teeth grazing the skin there slowly before he urges her back into her seat.
“You’re sure we can trust Clyde with this right?” He asks, needing to think about something else, anything else, than how much he wanted her.
“Yes. He’s already made arrangements, we’re flying early tomorrow morning.” She knew that Aaron didn’t fully trust Clyde, but he had been the only one to help her when she decided to get away from her old life, had helped her again after she killed Ian. If there was anybody she trusted except for Aaron, it was him.
“How did you meet him?” He realized he had never asked her.
“His dad worked for my dad, and when he got older, he just like me, wanted another life. When I decided to leave, when I decided to become someone else, I reached out to him and he lived in the Netherlands, I went there and he helped me become Lauren Reynolds. We didn’t speak again until Ian, but he has connections everywhere, can make anyone disappear and he helped me again.” She didn’t talk much about life with Ian, much less about her time with her parents and she knew Aaron was hanging onto every word.
“Do you think it’s a good idea to still be in contact with him? If he has ties to your parents and your old life?” He knew that Emily was intelligent, that she wouldn’t take unnecessary risks with her life.
“He, just like me, changed everything about himself, he technically doesn’t exist. He made it look like he died in a plane crash years ago.” She took his hand again. “Trust me, we don’t have to worry about him.”
“Okay sweetheart.” He pulls her into a kiss, a quick thing stamped onto her lips that she smiles into. “We better hope we don’t get caught before we get to the plane.” He winks at her, and she knows that he’s finding this just as thrilling as she did.
*
They had been looking for hours, had every cop in the city out patrolling the streets. But still, the unsubs were gone.
“It’s like catching smoke.” Dave grunts as he sits in the precinct with Jason, a cup of bad coffee in front of him on the table.
“No killer is unstoppable, but maybe we simply got here too late.” He says, his own cup untouched in front of him. “They know we’re after them, they had a head start.”
“What are you thinking Jason?” He looks at the look of sadness on his friend’s face.
“We know that they have money, that they’ve travelled the country for a long time, the woman seems like a ghost, she doesn’t exist anywhere. They’re getting ready to leave the country. And we might not be able to stop them.”
“I’m calling the airports.” The detective that’s seated with them says and Jason nods, but as he looks at Dave he knows that he’s thinking the same thing he is. The unsubs had an escape plan, and now they’re stuck playing catchup.
*
Emily yawns as she drives on the deserted roads, it was late, they had been driving for most of the day and night. She looks over to Aaron who’s sleeping beside her, his usually intense face as relaxed as it’ll ever be and she smiles. They were getting close to the private airport, they were close to escaping. She wondered what their new life was going to be like.
As she sits there, lost in her own thoughts her phone rings and Aaron grunts beside her as he wakes up.
“Yeah?” She already knew who it was, he was the only one who had her number.
“One of my men saw you passing him about a minute ago. Ditch the car, I’ll have him pick you up.” Clyde’s low voice sounds through the phone.
“Why?” She asks but still pulls off to the side of the road while keeping him on speakerphone so Aaron can hear.
“Because your rental is more noticeable than one of my cars.” She can hear his smirk through the phone. “Leave it where you are, about a mile down there’s a gas station, we’re waiting for you there.”
“What about the car we’re driving now?” She puts the car in park while Aaron rubs his eyes and stretches.
“We’ll make it disappear, it won’t be traced back to either of you. Come on darlin’, no need to be difficult about this.”
She looks to Aaron who nods, seemingly agreeing to the plan and they both get out of the car.
“Okay, see you soon.” She throws the phone to the ground and smashed it. She wouldn’t be needing it anymore.
*
It was almost 3AM when a young cop comes running into the small conference room they’re sitting in.
“They’re in Arizona! We got a call from a detective, they saw the suspects getting into a car at a gas station.”
“They have help.” Jason stands up at the same time as Dave.
“But they won’t be able to board a plane. Everyone knows to be on the lookout.” The cops says, his voice hopeful.
“They have money, connections. They’re probably flying out from a smaller airport, one that won’t be stopping them if given enough money.” Dave explains as they start to walk through the precinct, they didn’t have a lot of time.
“Like a bribe? But that’s illegal.”
Dave smiles at the other man’s innocence and squeezes his shoulder.
“Money will get you anywhere, kid.”
“Come on, we need to get there, we’re calling the team in Arizona on the way.” Jason is already holding the phone to his ear as he urges Dave to follow him. “We’ve got them.”
*
“The cops are coming, the whole fucking cavaliere.” Clyde says with a grin on his face, clearly enjoying the situation.
“How do you know?” Aaron asks as he sits on the small private plane next to Emily who’s leaning into his side, his arm around her shoulders.
“I have men everywhere, and I’ve gotten three calls already.” The British man looks at them with something close to glee. “You did always know how to make things interesting, darlin’”
Emily rolls her eyes but still smiles at his words. She feels Aaron’s hand tightening on her upper arm and she looks at him in amusement. She found his jealousy sexy, she always had, and he always wanted to put his claim on her, always wanted her to feel like his.
“Thank you for helping us out.” She says to the man across from her.
“I’ll always like helping an old friend out. For a fee that is.” He winks at her and she shakes her head at the way all Clyde always wanted was money. She takes the suitcase beside her and slides it over the table, her eyebrow arched as she waits for him to open it.
“That should be more than enough.” She swears she sees his eyes light up at the sight of the bills in neat stacks in the suitcase. “Now, get us out of here.” Her gun rests on the table and she picks it up casually and she feels Aaron tense against her side, always ready to back her up if needed.
“No need to get violent Em. You’ll be in the air in less than thirty.”
“We’ll have to be quicker than that.” Aaron says as he looks out the window where he sees blue lights in the distance. “We have to go now.”
*
Dave doesn’t think the devastation of making it only minutes too late would be something he’ll ever get over. He will never forget seeing the small plane take off, a shadow of a man looking back at him from the air.
He wouldn’t give up on finding them, but realistically he knew that he might never do. There was no trail where they had gone, no transactions to look into, no bank accounts, not even the people helping their unsubs had their real identeties. It wouldn’t have mattered if they did though, they were gone. All of them.
*
Aaron smiles his thanks at the bartender as he grabs their drinks. The sun was hot on his skin, the sand soft as he walked in his flipflops towards the sunbeds where Emily was laying. She looks up at him from behind her glasses, her skin shining from the lotion and sweat and he licks his lips at the sight.
When he hands her the colorful drink she had asked for, she sits up in her chair. She clinks her glass with his, a smile on her face. “We made it.”
#hotchniss#hotchniss fanfiction#hotchniss smut#aaron hotchner x emily prentiss smut#aaron hotchner x emily prentiss#hotch x emily#aaron x emily#criminal minds smut#criminal minds fanfiction#aaron hotchner smut#aaron hotchner fanfiction#emily prentiss smut#emily prentiss fanfiction
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Can you do some more comics with Francis mosses
I can, but the problem is
That I’m pretty much out of ideas and I’m progressively getting tired of tnmn fandom
Ppl who look at my tags probably noticed that 😓
More of my thoughts under read more for curious ppl
(short answer maybe I will do more, but I desperately need a break from tnmn)
! Just a general warning: this came out kinda long + sort of venty
Originally I planned to do 1 comic drop and move on, but got stuck bc ppl liked tnmn comics and kept asking for more (and still do-)
Generally I don’t mind doing more if the ideas are there, but I want to address this: I’m tired
I know blowing up is usually a good thing and I appreciate people enjoying my stuff
But it’s exhausting to see that tnmn is the only type of content which is relevant, to the point that my own projects or stuff I enjoy are just kinda.. ignored
It’s fair – again my blog is heavily fandom based
(+Tsp were and still is kinda the focus)
But with tnmn fandom it’s a bit… different
Maybe I’m biased and it’s just my negative experience with tiktok comments
Remember this art?
cleaning up transphobic comments was.. um tough
Again, I get that you can’t be in that neat bubble completely sheltered from negativity
Humans are just assholes by nature really/j
So I was expecting the backlash, but not that much
I think maybe tsp fandom spoiled me a bit (in a good way), bc I got a feeling that everyone in tsp was positive of any lgbt+ headcanons and just generally more supportive
(don’t get me wrong, there ARE problems in tsp community too, taking narrators design controversy into account as one of the examples)
Obviously every fandom always has it’s own issues, show me at least one fandom that didn’t have some sort of meaningless controversy or some sort of problematic people in it
It happens
But it leaves a bad taste in your mouth sometimes
And for me personally it only added to not so pleasant experience
The thing I also noticed, when I interacted with other fandoms
Ppl wrote positive stuff first and foremost, not really asking for anything
Here it’s just “hey more. I want more. Do more. Do this character. Do this. Do more.”
The only reason I kept doing more, because likes, reblogs, views – these comics get a ton of attention
there is a audience to please alright
But this thing comes with a pressure tho
and it shows
so let me illustrate
This bookcase
Is my shame
Because I was so rushing, I just copied and colour corrected this bookcase from my diploma comic and pasted it here in hopes for the best
💥IT LOOKS HORRIBLE OKAY💥
Usually it’s normal to take materials used in other projects
the not so normal part is
to leave it like that because your stress reducing tea doesn’t work and you don’t really have time to redraw it
my m en ta l s t a t e i s f i n e ah ah h ah ah
Ok but jokes aside: it’s really tempting, to just abandon everything and produce content like some sort of content farm
But I don’t want to, I’m forcing myself and it makes my art worse
Yes it’s subtle, new people won’t even see this
But I’m not improving
And I don’t enjoy just anxiously popping out comics because everyone keeps asking
I can give it my all to something when I’m passionate, but just “hey I’m getting attention” is not the best motivator
Attention like that does get to my head, I know that I will probably give in again and do more, bc I will compare my posts engagement
But what’s the point of recognition, when you feel.. so numb about it…
Sorry for a mountain of text and thank you for ppl who actually took their time to read it
It’s been building up for a while and I feel like people need to know the reason why I’m not so enthusiastic about making “more”
I’m not necessarily completely abandoning this fandom
I still plan to do ask/suggestions event for STP (I’m just making sure I can dedicate my time to it, that’s why it’s taking so long) and I can add tnmn to the mix
Like STP+tnmn kind of deal
But for now – I need a break
At least for a little bit
#bear answers#vent post#nothing serious just a bunch not so positive thoughts#tnmn#that’s not my neighbor#tnmn fandom#thoughts#fandom thoughts#apologies for possible mistakes/typos
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Happy Valentine's Day to you all! To celebrate, I'm back with another collaborative Drarry reclist, featuring a new lovely bunch of Drarry writers, artists, reccers, and fans!
Once again, the question was: ‘what one or two fics, or scenes, or quotes, represent peak Drarry romance to you?’ and (in what is rapidly becoming a nightmare for me), no duplicates from previous years were allowed. Thank you so much to everyone who took part, I hope you enjoy the results!
You can find part 1 (2022) here, and part 2 (2023) here!
This year's list features answers from: apricitydays-lazynights, arminaa8, drarrymyheart, drarryspecificrecs, hoko-onchi-writes, jtimu, littlewinnow, mallstars, myrtlefics, oflights, peachydreamxx, pl0tty, rainstormradish, romaine2424, squintclover, starquestingfordrarry, thecouchsofa, thedrarrylibrarian, and themiddleofwonderland!
***
@apricitydays-lazynights
💗who will receive you in love's offices by jtimu (E, 30k)
It was a wonder, Draco thought, watching Potter tip back the last remnants of his drink, that the man had survived to adulthood. Not because of the war, or the constant attempts on his life, or surviving two separate killing curses, despite his insistence that he had at some point died, but because there was not a single ounce of self-preservation in his entire body. There couldn’t be. …He glanced over at the potion on the table, and considered, for a fraction of a moment, getting up and pouring those same drops of veritaserum into his own glass. He looked away just as fast, back at Potter, grinning in his chair like they were queuing up for a Quidditch game and not at all like he had just handed his childhood nemesis the keys to his thoughts. “All right,” he said, “first of all. What the ever loving fuck is wrong with you?
@arminaa8
💗My Beautiful Boy by alexmeg (unrated, 69k, sequel to Alucinatio)
"You don't even like boys."
"I didn't know I did. But you," Harry trails off, laughs with his gaze trying to meet the grey of Draco's eyes, a little tremulous with nerves and fear and the way his breath sticks high in his throat like an ache. Draco does look at him, then. "God, you."
💗Seagulls Cause Storms, or the Essence of Chaos by @writandromance (M, 312k)
The stars above them were bright white. It made him think again of the black universe between the constellations, the way he thought people like him held the space for people like Harry to burn hot.
@drarrymyheart
💗The Rewards of Being Loved by @lou-isfake (E, 161k, sequel to The Ordeal of Being Known)
“What are you doing?”
“Trying to make you stop thinking so hard,” Harry replied, grinning mischievously. He placed Draco’s hand on his bare waist, his own hand on Draco’s shoulder. Draco’s lips twitched in a hesitant grin.
“This song is too fast for you to dance to.”
“Only if I’m thinking about it,” Harry retorted, stepping in close. “Is my kitchen too difficult for you to dance in, your highness?”
“Don’t underestimate me, Potter,” Draco murmured, his grin widening as he pulled Harry flush against him, taking his hand. Harry chuckled, waiting for him to lead.”
💗I Do Not Love You by @writandromance (M, 228k)
“The thing is,” Harry said, voice low like all they’d said was public knowledge and this was the secret. “If you’re interested in this, if we pursue this, I’ll be a goner.”
“A goner?” he echoed.
Harry took a lung-filling breath. “Yeah, Draco,” he sighed. “That’ll be it for me. Tony… well, Tony I ended up happy to see go. Miles, I—that was hard in the moment but I was fine. But you… we’re so connected, our lives are so connected, our friends. I don’t want to fuck around, it would be serious, to me. You’re serious to me.”
@drarryspecificrecs
(cause 'Hogwarts 8th year' & 'creature' are among my fave tropes and I really really adore fics where Draco is in trouble but not weak & Harry is already smitten with him)
💗Draco Malfoy, It's Your Lucky Day by @faith2wood (E, 37k)
💗The Arc of the Pendulum by brummell (E, 30k)
@hoko-onchi-writes
💗Half Sick of Shadows by StarQuesting (E, 40k)
(I have a hard time containing myself about dragon tamer Draco, and everyone knows it. I’m about as subtle as a brick when something pings a sweet spot in my brain. But this fic is so much more than a hot, aloof, sex king dragon tamer Draco who has weaver Harry weak in the knees. It is also so very bright and clear in my mind; the visuals are so affecting, just like the creations that Harry weaves. Favorite scene: Harry casually chatting with dragons. 12/10 would be unhinged again.)
💗A pulled down shade by fast_brother (M, 43k)
(I’m not a big crier over fics. Maybe three or four have made me cry this year. This one made me lose it. I think the thing that stands out to me is the visceral capture of emotion. You can feel Draco’s broken heart, and then you can feel Harry’s. I could probably get worked up about it right now. Favorite scene: Draco crying over the broken tea cup. I literally can’t function when I think about it. 12/10 would cry again.)
💗The Brightest Constellations of Our Souls by thecouchsofa (E, 256k)
(I might be cheating since I’m still savoring The Brightest Constellation of Our Souls but I’m including it because it is Peak Drarry Romance. TheCouchSofa always has this intensely brilliant characterization. Harry is heartbreakingly oblivious. Draco is prickly and about as subtle as a brick over pining for Harry. This also features depression!Harry, which has gotta be one of my favorite Harrys. She writes depressed Harry with such delicacy, handling the ins and outs of mental illness and trauma with care, but also making it fucking funny. Favorite scene so far: Harry very casually slipping into conversation that he’s bisexual after he’s been traveling with Draco for an absurd amount of time without mentioning it. And Draco’s ensuing reaction. 12/10 will continue swooning.)
@jtimu
💗Designate / your love as fate by @elskanellis (E, 17k)
💗Lover, Where Do You Live? by @dodgerkedavra (E, 39k)
💗Seven Days in June by @fourth-rose (E, 47k)
@littlewinnow
💗1000 Kisses: #27 First Thing in the Morning, Just After Moving in Together by @deliciouslystickypersona (E, 3k)
Draco trails his fingertips over the flat plane of Harry’s belly, tracing the line of hair up to where it widens over his pectorals. He nuzzles his nose into the curve of Harry’s shoulder, inhaling the sweet, musky, sleepy scent of his skin.
💗Little Love by @ladderofyears (M, 34k)
Harry – who still held Draco’s hand – was gazing at the baby, spellbound by the sight. His whole appearance couldn’t have been prouder, or more loving, had he been Snidget’s natural father. When Harry caught Draco looking at him, he beamed, unashamed of his response.
@mallstars
💗Elaborate, Correct, and Assiduously Observed by peu_a_peu (T, 4k)
Some things were still the same, he thought. Draco was the perfect height for Harry to put his head on his shoulder and rest. That had been secretly true all along, and they’d only had to figure it out.
💗Us, In Lieu by Tepre (E, 30k)
“I . . .” The words jumble in his mouth. His hair is still mostly wet in his neck. He should’ve shaved. He should’ve cleaned his glasses. He should’ve— “I do want you.” And, “Enough,” he adds, then decides no , decides, “Not just enough. More than. More than that.” He licks his lips. “So much more than that.”
💗The Pure and Simple Truth by @letteredlettered (E, 14k)
Malfoy’s eyelashes were visible just above his cheeks, golden and some might have said they should have been darker, but Harry thought that they were perfect. The curve of Malfoy’s jaw, the slant of Malfoy’s throat, that was perfect, too. Malfoy looked up, licked his lips. “I thought you weren’t interested,” he said.
💗The Isle of Ogygia by @citrusses (E, 13k)
The days pass slower, after Potter leaves. Draco tries to fish again, and manages to actually levitate a fish out of the water, but then he Stuns it and it sinks back beneath the waves like a rock, and he doesn’t have any luck retrieving it again. Every day he walks to the top of the lighthouse, casts the right spells, and walks back down. He looks around his room and thinks about where Potter sat.
@myrtlefics
💗Going Postal by dustmouth (125 page comic)
(I am a complete and utter sucker for Dustmouth’s comics and the correspondence and longing and softness of this one make me really happy)
@oflights
💗Yours is the Earth (Hold On, Hold On) by chickenlivesinpumpkin (E, 127k)
(Chapter 11: it's one of my fave proposals in any fic ever/a beautiful love confession/a lovely romantic moment that fits with how the rest of the fic builds up their relationship and all the poor communication and ways they've hurt each other and love each other)
@peachydreamxx
💗to be a bit of warmth (for you) by @softlystarstruck (M, 9k)
Draco stirs in Harry’s arms, mumbling something soft and incoherent, and Harry whispers a wandless spell to completely dim the room lights. If Draco is just seeking comfort, so what? Harry has more than enough to give– it may be the only thing he has left to give– and Draco grounds him, too. Whatever happened on the other side of a war they both went through no longer matters. They’re here, now, and Draco is cold.So Harry will keep him warm.
@pl0tty
💗Tandem by fast_brother (M, 93k)
The handle clicked and the door cracked open, allowing the sound of rain to come into the car.
“I… thanks,” Harry said. His heart was beating faster. His hands were sweaty.
Draco didn’t back away completely, just enough to be able to look Harry in the eyes.
“You have to stop that, Harry. Really," he said gravely, as if speaking about a very serious issue.
“Stop what?” Harry asked stupidly, still holding his breath.
“You have to stop looking at me like that.”
Harry’s heart traveled all the way up to his throat.
“I– I can’t,” he blurted out, feeling himself flush with the enormity of what he’d just said.
Draco let out a shocked chortle. He looked away at the street covered in rain, his left hand still resting on Harry’s chair. When he turned back towards Harry, he wasn’t laughing anymore.
He leaned in and kissed Harry on the lips.
💗Matters of the heart by nerakrose (G, 5k)
Today’s breakfast: eggs, toast, tea. I’ve left the sink a mess this week but I’ll do the dishes later. In a way taking these moments to write to you every morning feels like a little quiet refuge or a secret space that nobody else knows about but you. It feels safe here. I miss you. These days I’m missing you more than I’ve ever missed you before and I can’t explain it. Have I reached a breaking point? I don’t know.
Yours,
Harry
💗More Than That by joosetta (E, 11k)
“He was going to kill you,” Potter said, “He said he was going to kill you.”
“He was never going to kill me,” Draco mumbled, “He was up against you for Merlin’s sake. He tried to play quick-curse with Harry fucking Potter.”
Potter was silent for a bit at that, raising a hand up and stroking the back of Draco's head.
“He thought I would help him,” Potter said finally. Draco felt the strangest thing, like a spasm in his face, that left his eyes hot, and his lips shaking. He had to gather himself together again before he could reply.
“Well, he’s never had me suck his cock, so there was no way he could know,” Draco said, instead of he didn’t realise that you loved me. Potter got it anyway, because he laughed, just a little bit. He drew back, and his face was the most frightening and beautiful thing Draco had ever seen.
“You always talk like you give me blow jobs all the time,” he said. “You almost never give me blow jobs, Draco.”
💗Sparks from the Fox’s Tail by khalulu (T, 17k)
And then it was just natural to turn in his arms so they were face to face. Eye to eye, lip to lip, mouth to mouth. Natural to fall into bed together, hands and mouths moving over warm skin, stroking and kissing til they were breathless.
Harry broke off. “Should we think this through?”
“No,” said Draco. “Why did you pull away in the shower?”
“You were so weak then, I didn’t want to take advantage.”
“I was throwing myself at you with what little strength I had. Next time, catch me.”
“I’ve got you,” Harry said, winding himself around Draco. “I’ve got you.”
@rainstormradish
💗Where I see things right by InnerLilith (E, 15k)
(just... absolutely gorgeous handling of a sensitive subject, and I love how the preparation and thoughtfulness is such a big part of the romance. I don't bookmark InnerLilith's fics so much as intermittently go and reread half their back catalogue again. I've loved everything I've read from them.)
💗Help! I'm a Hopeless Romantic by peachydreamxx (M, 15k)
(we watch Harry fall in love with Draco and come to terms with lots of aspects of his life. The little Google searches are just so sweet and tender and I loved, loved loved it. And the ending is so perfect.)
@romaine2424
💗keep driving by @babooshkart (art)
(The romance portrayed in Keep Driving is palpable. Draco is so cool, but from every look, you can see the adoration she has for Harry. And Harry thrives off of the touches between them but also has a confident sense of her own worth. I will never tire of this calming, soft piece depicting a happy, confident, and joyful Drarry. The world is theirs to explore. They'll keep driving.)
💗Never Mind the Bollocks by @the-sinking-ship (E, 119k)
(Never Mind the Bollocks is a new fic from Erised 2023. I loved every moment of it, and Harry having so much fun and feeling like he belonged was everything. However, his drive to right and save all was still there. Chapter 18 brought it all together. I won't say how as the fic is so new, but, for me, it was so romantic with BAMF Harry showing up and Draco trying to be mad. Complete chef's kiss.)
@squintclover
💗 A Secondary Education by Thunderbird587 (E, 235k)
(I remember so vividly the falling in love and the moment when it changed for both of them.)
@starquestingfordrarry
💗The Potter Malfoy bathroom war of 2007 by @andithiel (E, 9k)
(it is peak bathing-comfort)
@thecouchsofa
💗Cut From the Sky by mallstars (E, 150k)
(“Rainy romance’ describes this perfectly. I love how Harry grows to love Draco and never stops going after him once he realises that’s what he wants. This kind of love necessitates an endless amount of patience, but I can’t think of anything more romantic than that – someone coming back time and time again and showing you more grace than you would ever show yourself.)
💗Everything is Relative to You by @thehoneybeet (E, 43k)
(Harry and Draco being each other’s Great Loves in every life going back hundreds of years? I am feral. I cannot be contained. A demonstration of them being perfect for each other in every timeline, through good and bad. This is peak romance at its best.)
@thedrarrylibrarian
💗O Come, All Ye Faithful by @toomuchplor (E, 20k)
(Told through jumps between the past and the present, I adore the way toomuchplor depicts the everyday romance of an established relationship. Too often romance is delegated to big displays of affection, when I think much of romance is in the mundane, routine moments. Listening to your partner share about their day is romantic. Making routine breakfast and coffee is romantic. The intimacy of having an ongoing inside joke about a cat name is unbearably romantic to me. These are the small, everyday moments that the foundations of grand romances are built upon, and this fic was a love note to those moments.)
@themiddleofwonderland (amazuppai)
💗Heal Thyself by astolat (T, 16k)
(it's a classic H/D fic that preserves Draco's prickly personality while still showing him reforming in a very realistic way. It's a slow-burn—Harry isn't really in the first half at all, and when he does show up he's still very suspicious of Draco—but as Draco shows his (new) true colors, Harry can't help that his suspicions turn to curiosity (one of my favorite tropes with reformed Draco fics) especially with the somewhat forced proximity they find themselves in that slowly turns into voluntary and frequent proximity. To me, maybe because of the slow burn, it seems like a very realistic depiction of how Draco could reform himself and how Harry can turn his suspicions into curiosity and eventually more to form a healthy relationship together.)
#drarry#ss recs#my annual romance reclist#always forget how long this takes :D#worth it though#thank you so much to everyone who took part
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really not beating the brainrot allegations but genuinely this line has been haunting my brain for ages
#rolling with difficulty#vrla rwd#mrsn rwd#well not technically but close enough#asto stop drawing the same two goddamn characters challenge (difficulty: impossible)#technically the original line was 'i see mr-sn' but this way .. works better? flows better? its 4am words are failing me#also took some artistic liberties with the hypnagoug design bc i think austin's intention was that only its face changes#to match your nightmares#but everyone started describing stuff thats much more elaborate and he didnt stop them so#specifically he says the clawed arms and 'a large gaping mouth' stay constant but i am just gonna Choose Not To See that part#look theres no way for me to fit that into the design and make it work. its just not happening#i mean thank god for mr-sn's cape or else id have to figure out the logistics of attaching bony clawed arm to robot torso#(also why i strategically placed the rips on the cape so you cant see the arm underneath LMAO)#yeah after a certain point i was just like. ok how can i make the mr-sn hypnogoug as nasty and unpleasant to look at as possible#so please let me know if this made you upset/lh bc im the one who drew it and *i* was very upset when drawing this#in hindsight hypnagoug mr-sn has lowkey nightmare animatronic from fnaf energy and i've been fully over my fnaf phase for like 6 years so#not sure how to feel about that#art I made
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Fool Me Twice [4/?]
After more than a month, I'm back with this update which is... not extremely long, but I figured I would post it before I lose confidence :')
Part 4 ft. (the aftermaths of) fake dating, a cold, and an office conversation
You can read part 1 [here]! (No additional context is needed aside from the previous 3 parts.)
—
Work resumes on the 3rd. Yves thinks of all the ways he might thank Vincent for all the trouble—a late New Year’s gift? (But he doesn’t know what Vincent would like, except presumably useful things, but if they’re useful, shouldn’t Vincent have them already?) An invitation to dinner at some nice restaurant? (But what if Vincent sees it as another inconvenient proposition—as more time outside of work which he’ll be obligated to spend with someone he doesn’t even know that well?) A gift card to a nice restaurant? (But would that not come across wrong—presumptuous at best, condescending at worst?)
Normally, Yves would ask Margot—ever the voice of reason—for advice, but it occurs to him, now, that he won’t be able to consult any of his college friends about this if he intends to keep up the lie.
And there’s that, too. If he intends on going to any future events that Margot—or any of his other college friends, at that—will host, he’ll have to tell them that he and Vincent have broken up since (which will only serve to prove Erika’s point that Yves isn’t everything he’s made himself out to be—at least, when it comes to relationships), or think of some sort of way to excuse Vincent’s continued absences.
If one thing’s for sure, it’s that asking any more of Vincent than he’s already asked is entirely out of the question.
Yves drives himself to work on Tuesday morning, gets to his office earlier than most, says hi to Cara and Laurent, and gets to work. It’s easy enough to settle into work again, to a 10am meeting with the team and another couple calls with clients, to all the paperwork and data analysis he’d for himself before the winter holidays.
Vincent usually gets to work early—he’s always there when Yves gets to the office—and stays late. He’s usually at the break room at 10:15, unless he has a meeting of some sort, for his usual morning coffee. He works on the same floor, but his cubicle is far enough away that Yves can’t see him from where he sits.
Yves doesn’t look for him. Better to catch him in the morning in the break room or at lunch in the company cafeteria, Yves thinks, as to not risk interrupting him in the middle of something important.
But Vincent—despite showing up to a morning conference with the team—is surprisingly absent from the break room at 10:15. And then Yves ends up working with Cara on an upcoming presentation until 1, and when he gets to the cafeteria, Vincent isn’t there, either.
It’s unfortunate timing, or perhaps Vincent is just unusually busy. Yves knows he does a lot of work behind the scenes, from the few times he’s asked him what he was working on and gotten an intimidating list of projects in response. When he passes Vincent’s desk in the early afternoon—more precisely, when he decides to take the long way to the break room—he finds Vincent speaking with Angelie, one of the new hires, their heads ducked together over the harsh glow of Angelie’s laptop screen. He watches as Vincent gestures to something on the screen and says something too quiet to make out from this distance, and Angelie nods, jotting something down onto a notepad she’s holding.
How formal, Yves thinks. It isn’t long ago that he was in her shoes, new and intimidated by the formality of the workplace, asking Vincent for help and tabling everything he thought might be of note.
He doesn’t think much of it—only that of course Vincent is busy; Angelie is right to think that Vincent has the kind of expertise that will really be useful to her, and the patience to walk her through it with a level of thoroughness Yves is frequently impressed by, or else she’s just gotten very lucky.
The afternoon passes quickly enough. All of a sudden, it’s 5, which is around the time when Yves usually leaves, and he still hasn’t spoken a word to Vincent all day.
Against better judgment, he takes his briefcase with him, heads toward the sector of the building that Vincent works in. Tells himself it’s just on the way to the back door exit. Tells himself a short exchange wouldn’t hurt—would it really be so wrong to invite Vincent out to dinner, or at the very least, to offer him the thank you he so unquestionably deserves?
He half expects Vincent to be gone already, considering that he’s probably been here since 7:30. But when he gets there, Vincent is at his desk, as usual, cross-checking several documents he’s printed out.
“Hard at work, as always,” Yves says, stopping just short of his cubicle.
“Yves,” Vincent says, though he doesn’t offer any further note of acknowledgment. He looks tired, Yves realizes, from the slight tension to his posture, the way he blinks hard behind his glasses, his eyebrows furrowing slightly. But of course he’s tired—he’s been here for almost ten hours already.
Yves waits for him to finish what he’s doing—to look away from the monitor screen, even just for a moment—but he doesn’t.
“Are you planning to stay much later?” Yves asks, at last, though he gets the feeling that he should leave.
“Most likely,” Vincent says. “Is there something you need me to look over?”
“No,” Yves says. “But I was wondering—”
“I’m very busy today,” Vincent cuts him off, paging through one of the documents that’s laid out over his desk. “So if it’s not work related, now’s not a good time.”
It’s then that Yves realizes—Vincent must think he’s about to drag him into another one of his fake-relationship arrangements.
“I don’t need anything from you,” Yves says, faltering. “I’m just—it’s getting late, and you’ve been here all day.”
“Yes,” Vincent says. “Like I said, I’m very busy.” He pauses to highlight a line of numbers, scribble something into the margins. How he can concentrate on his work and the conversation simultaneously, Yves doesn’t know. “If you have work for me, feel free to leave it on my desk, I’ll get to it tonight. Otherwise, I’d appreciate it if we had this conversation later.”
“Noted,” Yves says. He tables the dinner conversation for later, sets his briefcase down on the floor so that it leans up against the wall. “Let me help.”
Vincent frowns, his eyebrows furrowing. “It would take longer for me to explain this to you.”
“You don’t need to explain anything,” Yves says. “I can look over the documents myself.” He takes a step closer, peers down at the papers strewn across Vincent’s desk—earnings reports and expense reports, mostly, and a couple marketing proposals.
Vincent reaches up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “That would require you to know the context.”
“I’ve dealt with a hundred of these in my life. I promise you I know what I’m doing.”
“Then you’ll have to spend more time telling me your findings,” Vincent says. “Better to not split up the work at all.”
“It would still be faster than going through them yourself.”
“Hardly.”
Perhaps Vincent doesn’t trust Yves to get things done to the standard that he expects, then. Yves thinks he’s worked here long enough to consider himself decently qualified, but they haven’t worked together closely on anything since Yves’s first couple months at Evertech, and so he doesn’t fault Vincent for being wary.
Still, Yves thinks he can be useful here. And maybe there is something selfish to it, too—to wanting to be as useful to Vincent as Vincent had been to him, to wanting to prove that he is capable of helping in the first place, of offering something of value—but even aside from that, he’s worried that if he doesn’t step in, Vincent might be here all night. It doesn’t seem like much of an impossibility, considering who he’s talking to.
“You’ve been here for hours,” Yves tries. “It’s only our first day back.” He looks around—perhaps there’s someone else here that could help, someone who’s worked here longer than Yves, who Vincent trusts. “You don’t have to let me help. But at least hand some of it off to someone you actually trust, or tell Charlene that she’s given you too much work this week, or both.”
“It’s no more work than usual,” Vincent says, with a sigh.
“And yet, you’re planning on staying late.”
Vincent looks up at him, at last, his expression unreadable. “I’m capable of doing my own job, Yves.” His voice is curt, almost snappish. “I really don’t have time to argue with you right now.”
Yves wants to say, of course I know that. Vincent is nothing if not qualified—Yves has never doubted that for a moment. He wants to say, I want to help you regardless.
But that would only be presumptuous. He doesn’t know Vincent that well. Besides, it’s really none of his business—they’re coworkers, not friends. Vincent knows what’s best for himself. The best thing Yves can do right now is to stay out of his way.
“Okay,” Yves says, a little defeated. “Good luck on your work. Make sure you get some sleep.”
There’s no response to that—no acknowledgement that Vincent has heard him at all, even though it’s quiet enough in the room that he must have. Yves turns to get his briefcase. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Vincent jerk forward suddenly, his shoulders tensing with a near-silent—
“HhH’Gkt-!”
Yves bites back a reflexive bless you. It’s just one sneeze. It doesn’t have to mean anything. But Vincent sniffles, pressing his knuckles up to the underside of his nose, to stifle another—
“HhH’NgkT-!”His breath hitches again, his eyebrows drawing together as he jerks forward again, with a quiet but painfully forceful, “Hh… hEH’NGXt!”, crushed into his fist.
He sniffles again, reaching across the desk to snag a tissue from the tissue box that, Yves realizes with a jolt, is usually not present on his desk. He sighs quietly—the sort of tired, drawn out exhale that leaves no question about how tired he is—and reaches up with a hand to gingerly massage his temples. The slight grimace that follows is almost certainly indicative of a headache.
Yves considers asking Vincent how he’s feeling for all of two seconds before he remembers the almost-hostility with which he was just faced. Perhaps it would be better if he pretends to not have heard. Briefcase in hand, he quickens his pace, ducks out of the exit, and heads down the stairs.
Vincent spent his New Year’s Eve with him, at a party surrounded by strangers—even though Vincent dislikes parties and probably dislikes strangers—he’d put up an immaculate act, played along even through Yves’s slight intoxication, and driven him home—and in turn, Yves has repaid him by...
God. Yves shouldn’t have asked to kiss him. The guilt settles heavy in his stomach.
Yves really, really owes him.
He heads down several flights of stairs and ducks outside to the parking garage. It’s even colder today than it had been on New Year’s—perhaps indicative of a colder winter to come—and though the parking garage is sealed off, when he’d looked out from the office windows upstairs, it had been starting to snow.
The cafeteria at their workplace is closed for dinner, and it’s a half hour drive home from here through rush hour traffic—maybe a little longer in the snow, and longer still if he stops to get something to eat.
He’s in the process of unlocking the car, setting his briefcase at his feet, and inserting the keys into the ignition when the idea occurs to him.
It’s an irrational idea, probably.
[Part 5]
#snz fic#sneeze fic#sneeze kink#snz kink#snz#part of the reason why this took so long was because i got caught up in the whirlwind of final exams/projects#(which are over now! possibly forever?)#but another part of it is that i hated my initial draft for this so much that i just shut the document and haven't opened it since#finally got around to rewriting it yesterday + stayed up til 5:30 hammering it into shape#i am posting this so that i cannot edit it anymore and have to move on#my fic#thank you to everyone who left kind comments on pt 3 🥹 reading them brings me so much happiness#yvverse
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"Let's all take one last look at all of our entrants swimsuits."
#1 - Rowan(@knightshonour)
#2 - Crescent(@ranshoehub)
#3 - Illya von Einzbern(ranshoehub)
#4 - Satori Komeiji(@awakenedmaiden)
#5/6/7/8 - Reimu(@warriorsofcrimsonrealms), Kurumi(@lxlitabunny), Seiga(@thathermitwiththehairpin) and Crescent(@alchemistdetective)
#9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16 - Momiji Inubashiri(@mountainofhistory), Yukari Yakumo(@gatheringfantasies), Junpei(@musekaiplex), Mario Mario(@hxroic-wxlls), Hong Meiling(warriorsofcrimsonrealms), Nyalter(@nyalternatehellkitten), Asami(@annettesoleil) and Neka(@nekasu)
#shinki muse#long post#shinki's swimsuit contest#thank you everyone who took part#i had so much fun doing this and i hope you did too!#maybe one day in the future we'll do a second one#im so happy with how well this went!#if any of you ever wanna hmu for an rp my dms are always open#thank you to Amber for all the help in the last couple of rounds#your commentary was amazing! :D
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Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Quarry (Video Game)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Relationships: Travis Hackett/Laura Kearney
Characters: Travis Hackett, Laura Kearney
Additional Tags: Pre-Relationship, Getting Together, First Kiss, No Smut, but things do get a little spicy, Blood and Injury, Described Poetically More Than Realistically, Vague Discussions of Canon Trauma, Canon Compliant, Werewolf Hunters, Post-Game, Swearing, Probably Too Much Lmao, established partnership, Established Friendship, Unreliable Narrator, Travis POV, Gratuitous Use of Imagery and Metaphor, Tending To Each Other's Wounds, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, kind of?, They're Both a Little Mean, But God Do They Want Each Other In Spite Of and Because Of That, Tension, of various sorts, Miscommunication, Introspection, Sharing a Bed
Summary:
"Moonlight swims a piercing, pulsing wave across Travis' tired eyes. Another night. Another hunt. Another bone-deep ache to add to the collection. Heavy steps shuffle in staccato across slick and uneven concrete. Two sets. Staggering in as much harmony as they can manage."
Travis Hackett has never known what it feels like - to be protected.
Laura Kearney is about to give him one hell of a wake-up call.
Prompt by @ange-de-la-mort: Patching up each other's injuries after yet another night of werewolf hunting, trying not to show how relieved they are neither of them got bit (and failing because they might be snarky assholes but they like each other a lot).
#Hackearney#Laura x Travis#travisxlaura#lauraxtravis#Hackearney Fic Exchange#What a brilliant collaboration this whole event was!#Thank you so much to the organiser!#Congrats to everyone who took part for such incredible work!#This sure is... A fic#But here we go I guess 😂#Still haven't been able to bring myself to reread it so sorry if the second half still has mistakes or things that read poorly#I gave it my all and did the best I could I can say that at least#My Fics: Hackearney
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lilsgarfield uploaded to her private Instagram
i still feel like i’ve been floating on cloud nine. yesterday was like a dream come true, getting to celebrate our love with everyone. thank you to everyone who took time out of their busy schedules to come and celebrate with us. i was able to look around and soak it all in and i don’t think i will ever feel so lucky again.
thank you all, from Mr & Mrs Garfield 💍💝
@andrcwgrfld
#( instagram. )#( andrew g. )#( and all at once you are the one i've been waiting for - andrew. )#( some things last forever after all - wedding. )#( seriously !! thank you all who took part and posted outfits and threads !! )#( you are all amazing and everyone looked so good!! so much love to everyone here !! )
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I mean this in a positive way, you remind me of watching Foamy the Squirrel as a tween. You’re interesting. Even if I don’t agree with everything you say, I’m glad you say it.
Sorry I didn't answer this immediately, I've been thinking about this ask for a while. I think this might be both the strangest and most flattering compliment I've ever received.
#thank you <3#i don't expect people to agree with me on everything for the record and i don't think worse of people who don't#you unlocked my backstory okay here we go:#so i was raised morally vegetarian in a tiny conservative town#and took ''don't kill things if you don't have to'' part of that and applied it to EVERYTHING (because to do otherwise is hypocritical imo)#i've never killed anything (on purpose) and i actively avoid doing so#the example i use that usually communicates this the best is the fact that i have never killed a mosquito. ever. i just shoo them away#but anyways. tiny conservative town.#so everyone i knew was either a meat eater or a flat out hunter#any friend i'd make? meat eater or hunter.#had to come to terms pretty quickly as a child that pretty much everyone has a different set of morals#and that it doesn't necessarily make someone a bad person if they don't share your particular set of morals#(so long as they don't go out of their way to cause harm yk)#i had a lot of moral dilemmas about this in grade school#like i was having genuine moral crises about what is good or bad and how can a person be good if they do bad things?? at like. 6 years old.#spent a LONG fucking time thinking about it and eventually concluded that killing something is excusable IF it's for an actual purpose/need#eating meat? i don't really technically approve but youre eating it so it's not like the creature died for nothing#killing spiders for the crime of Being In Your House? absolutely not and i will demand that you call me to rescue them instead#i'm getting distracted sorry i tend to ramble in tags#anyways. point is.#i know my particular set of morals is likely shared by zero other people on the planet#and some of them i feel more strongly about than others#but i don't ever expect anyone to completely agree with me on everything i say#bc that's unrealistic and silly#i tend to be more vocal about my odd set of morals on here than irl#but i still don't expect people to always agree with me#i really appreciate that you seem to think the same way anon#<3333#wish i knew who you were so i could better direct my appreciation and convey how incredibly flattered i am by this#feel free to dm me 👀
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